#one of my friends is getting a binder and i cannot have one and i can feel the little green monster taking up residence on my shoulder

[piratefalls]

once again the number of fics on these lists has escaped containment.

list one. list two. list three. list four. list five. list six.

No Nut November by TuppingLiberty

The Super Six make a bet to see who can 'win' No Nut November. Alex is determined to win, but discovers something about his roommate Henry in the process. Aka, a simple college roommate au pwp grew some plot.

Feel your hands in my hair and you whisper my name by kiwiana

And, like, Alex is a smooth guy, okay? He’s charming and witty and has a killer smile. Generally speaking, he flirts well and it almost always works out for him. Even when it doesn’t, he usually ends up making a new friend. There’s all sorts of things he could say in response. ‘You could help me by letting me buy you a drink’, that’s a classic. Sometimes a well-placed cheesy pickup line about being distracted by someone’s beauty can break the ice. ‘No, but you can feel free to help yourself’ is a good one if the vibe is more hookup than date. These are all options he has. What actually comes out of his mouth is “Can I suck your dick?”

Henry's an Asshole (I Want to Kiss Him) by anarchyat4am

They hoist themselves up onto the counters, Alex on the island and Henry opposite him, tucked into the corner with his knees pulled to his chest. Henry can feel Alex watching him, but he’s not sure he wants to face whatever’s playing out in Alex’s expression. He gets through half of his ice cream before giving in and meeting Alex’s eyes, and he cannot for the life of him read what he sees in them. “Can I tell you a secret?” Alex says. Henry hums and lifts an eyebrow. “Is it a good one?” “Maybe?” Alex says. He pokes at his ice cream and eats another spoonful, looking carefully at Henry. “I was gonna kiss you at midnight.” * At the NYE Gala, Henry starts feeling the hazy edges of anxiety and an uncomfortable tightness in his chest. It takes him longer than it should to take notice of the feeling, and even longer to realise that the cause is likely the binder he’s been wearing all day. He escapes the party, Alex gets him upstairs to his room to change, and the rest of the night goes far differently than Henry could have expected.

Uncut not Uncultured by inexplicablymine

“Excuse me? Have I dealt with Uncircumcised Dick? Are you at a hookup or something right now and a little lost?” “Yes, have you dealt with uncircumcised dick, no I’m not at a hookup, I am having an existential crisis and I need support okay Liam!” Alex’s voice pitches up at the end showing that he really is worried about something to do with foreskin. __________________ One Trader Joe’s Pride themed phallic treat, one existential crisis with your ex and his current lover, one hot and steamy night to work it all out.

The Key to Home by MoonCheeseRavioli

Henry isn't like that at all. He's not cold and robotic, he's just nervous. He's just a boy. Maybe they can just be boys tonight. No fucking titles or parts to play. Just people in a room in a house, doing something for themselves for once.

You'll Be Glowing, Chasing Shadows Away by Mags (sparklepocalypse)

In the weeks leading up to Alex’s eighteenth birthday, he spends hours meticulously crafting a list of things that adults are legally permitted to do, and minors are not. It takes nearly twice as long to decide which items to sidebar, so he can narrow the list down to a manageable number. Finally, he’s left with four: 1. register to vote; 2. buy a lottery ticket; 3. get a tattoo; 4. go to the adult novelty shop. (Or, five times Alex tries something he's seen on the internet, and one time he involves Henry.)

The Better Part by dorian_burberrycanary

Henry has no reason to be in New York, no acceptable public excuse, just a three-day gap in his schedule and a boyfriend he hasn’t seen in six weeks. Six weeks and two days, his mind supplies. For a moment he considers blaming that knowledge on how the American election is an easy date to remember. Instead, he texts Alex: We’re apart for weeks but my body misses you in days, in minutes.

warm from the inside out by cricketnationrise

“Can I pull you away from what I’m sure is fascinating research for a bit of a break?” “Mmm, depends on what kind of break,” Alex teases. “Tax law is pretty captivating.” “I was thinking,” Henry begins slowly, smudging kisses from Alex’s shoulder and up his neck, “that the break could go something like this.”

(lord, save me) my drug is my baby by coffeecatsme

Henry isn’t home when Alex returns from his weeklong trip to his father’s lakehouse in Texas. There is, however, a bat hanging from their fan, wings curled around its little body, a drop of drool clinging to his lips. Sleeping. “Huh,” Alex says, tilting his head. “I didn’t know vampires could actually turn into bats.” Or, 5 times Alex learns something new about Henry and 1 time Henry learns something new about Alex.

Celebration by Anonymous

It’s foolish, to do this now instead of later when they have time, but Henry wants it too much to resist. He always wants, always. Henry and Alex celebrate the election victory.

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way by DracoWillHearAboutThis

Alex froze in his tracks, the abrupt movement causing him to drop his freshly bought cup of coffee right onto his new white sneakers. At the sound, Pez and Bea both turned to stare at him, eyes wide and slightly panicked. “Please tell me you didn’t hear that,” Pez whispered, with a note of desperation in his voice. “What do you mean, Henry is in love with me?!” Alex asked, his own voice high-pitched. “Well,” Nora said, grinning as she leaned back in her own seat. “This should be interesting.”

A Long Way From the Playground by allmylovesatonce

Henry and Alex were best friends growing up until they went to separate colleges and they grew apart. When they see each other again as adults, against the odds, both living in the same city again, will it be a joyful reunion or will the pain of the years apart get in the way? How do you become friends again when there is so much of the past in the way?

and I see forever in your eyes by viciouslyqueer

“What went wrong, love?” Henry asks quietly, anxiety curling around him and weighing on his stomach at the thought of having hurt Alex in any way. To his surprise, Alex lets out a little laugh. “Nothing, actually.” Henry frowns. “But… you safeworded. Something was obviously wrong.” Alex stays silent for a few moments. He seems to hesitate before speaking. “I just… didn’t want you to open that drawer.” — A brief misunderstanding and a ruined surprise turn out better than expected.

Toe the Line by OrchidScript

Henry plays piano while Alex studies. Alex gets caught live-streaming. Henry has a response handy.

Tickling the Ivories by bleedingballroomfloor

"What is it, baby?" Alex asks with a lick of his lips, one hand squeezing Henry's thigh and the other cupping his face. Henry growls. "You know what it is, you wanker," he whispers. They're so close that their lips brush with each word they speak. "Now are you going to continue to tease me like the arse you are, or are you going to drag me to the bedroom and actually fuck me?" "The bedroom?" Alex chuckles, sliding up his hand to thread his fingers through Henry's hair. He moves his mouth to Henry's ear and says, "Remember when you wouldn't let me fuck you on that piano back in Kensington? Well, this one isn't an old antique, babe."

Teach Me, Teach Me, Teach Me (How to Love) by politics_and_prose

“The beauty of love is that you can fall into it with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.” - Ritu Ghatourey Henry expects the coming school year to be much the same as the previous ones. He couldn't be more wrong.

tiny pretty things by shinebackbaby

Having completely gotten lost in his thoughts, he must've been staring, because Nora's saying, "Earth to Henry. What are you staring at, babe? Would you like to try?" From the tone of her voice it's obvious she's mostly joking, but Henry, not knowing what's gotten into him, actually considers. He remembers wondering how it all feels. Sure, he's had concealer put on his dark circles about a million times, and blush on his cheeks to give his face just the slightest warmth instead of the pale and hollowed-out look he privately sported for many years after his father's passing. But it just never felt the same as the things they did to Bea, the things June and Nora are doing to themselves right now. He thinks. Wonders. Considers. And he nods. He nods his head and says, in a bit of a small voice, "Er. Yeah, actually. I'd like that, I think." Or in which Henry tries out makeup with the help of Nora and June, and Alex is positively in love with it.

First Time for Everything by Celaestis

“I love that you love it.” He moves, gesturing for Henry to sit, and then straddles Henry's lap. His smile is as sharp as a knife when he kisses Henry. “I love everything about it – the way you look, the noises you make. How fucking amazing you feel around me, sweetheart.” He grinds slowly against Henry as he talks. "I wanna feel that too."

In the teeth of strong opposition by clottedcreamfudge

"You know what?" Henry says loudly, annoyed beyond belief that he has to hear for the millionth time how fucking cool Alex is with Henry's sexuality. "If you're such a good ally, why don't you suck me off? Since you're so insistent, why not get on your knees, Alex?" He regrets the words as soon as he says them, but it's not like he can shove them back into his mouth; he can't take them back. He closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see the shocked expression on Alex's face and takes a few deep breaths. "Sorry," he says tightly a moment later, eyes still closed. "That was uncalled for." "Do you want me to?"

would you wait for me? by smc_27

Henry Fox has made Alex nervous from the second they met. Now it’s different. Now Alex has to try and find a shirt to wear to a party where he’ll inevitably see Henry for the first time in a year. For the first time since Alex’s heart was broken and he’d made what felt like the brave and smart decision and left. Coming back might be a mistake.

Little Matters by pridepages

Henry Fox never expected to have children. As the black—or rainbow—sheep of the family, he accepted that long ago. But tragedy takes the lives of his brother and sister-in-law. Suddenly, Henry finds himself the guardian of his precocious little niece, turning his life upside down! Alex Claremont-Diaz is just fine, thank you very much. Freshly graduated from NYU Law, he’s ready to kick off his career. One day, he runs into a handsome man with his little girl. Sometimes we have to find each other before we can find ourselves.

jump in with your heart first by stutteringpeach

Pez sets it up. Some guy from work, he says. Gorgeous, too smart for his own good, a mouth that will get him into trouble. Henry raises an eyebrow. “Whatever you’re thinking,” Pez sings, wearing a smirk, “the answer is yes.”

Who Will I Become Tonight? by athousandrooms, ifyoustay

Attending their ten-year high school reunion isn't among Henry's ideal weekend plans, but Alex makes a really strong case for them to go together and have some spiteful fun. The problem is, Henry's in love with his straight best friend, and Alex thinks it's a brilliant idea to fake date. Best laid plans, they say.

Love, Pyramus by SprigsofViolets

Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor has always been different, and he spends his life finding himself in the pages of a book, connecting with queer people through literature. “To every person in search of somewhere to belong who happened to pick up this book, I hope you found a place in here, even if just for a few pages. You are loved. I wrote this for you. Keep fighting, keep making history, keep looking after one another.” —Casey McQuiston; Red, White, and Royal Blue

five times alex and henry tried something kinky (and one time they didn't) by cmere

Alex knew Henry loved his stupid fucking dirty talk, but if he were pressed to admit it, he loved it too, especially knowing that they were doing something they very much weren't supposed to—and that even though it wouldn't be the same scandal it once was, it would still be a fucking shock to someone's delicate sensibilities and most likely get them in a lot of trouble. What Alex loved most was that Henry got off on this shit as much as he did, too. OR five times Alex and Henry tried something kinky, and one time they didn't

Stars and Stripes by lucy_in_the_sky

Alex and Henry’s Fourth of July celebrations ft. an oh-so patriotic pair of star spangled boxers.

Hope and Glory by everwitch

Any moment now, that door will open again and another man will enter, another stranger will bare himself and quietly slot himself into the hole in the wooden panel. And Henry will swallow him down, willingly, greedily. He will use his mouth and his tongue and both of his hands, and he will lose himself in every little sound, every low groan and trembling whimper, every sharp intake of breath. He will bring the stranger to the brink and then over it, will smile faintly as feels the man pulsing in between his hands, will brush a chaste kiss against the tip before he lets go. Henry joins an exclusive, members only sex club and lives out an impossible fantasy. Along the way, he forms a connection with an enigmatic lover.

Gay Panic Button by Void_senpai

In which Alex is Alex and Henry's little gay heart cannot survive his bullshit. Or Chapters from the book and offscreen scenes from Henry's POV

AirBnB My Baby by indomitablelove

Alex grips his hand on the poker again. “Who the fuck are you?” he asks through gritted, chattering teeth. “And why do you have a key?” His mind is spinning a thousand miles an hour. What if this guy is a former guest who had his own key cut? What if he’s been waiting to pounce after seeing Alex arrive alone? What if he actually was working with Shaan?  "Oh, fuck," he says. The word sounds different in his mouth, like it’s something new, crisp and barely used, not like it does coming from Alex’s mouth – well-worn, with an alarming frequency. Something seems to dawn on the man. Alex really, really wishes that he’d bring him up to speed. “Right,” he says, “yes. My name is Henry, this is… well, my house and I think I’ve monumentally cocked up.” -- After June and Nora's flight gets grounded in the snow, Alex ends up at the holiday cottage they booked alone. He gets an unexpected visitor in the night. Then they get snowed in together.

my little dove by dearestalez

“Kinda cliché,” Alex says, looking up at the mural. “It’s Bea’s favourite piece,” Henry says. Alex looks at him, “that makes sense.” They travel through a plethora of shops. Henry picks up a hat, Alex holds a jumper to his chest and twirls until Henry is giggling into his fingers. “Why do they never have my size?” Alex laments, holding a nice pair of shoes that don’t come in seven and a half. Only seven or eight. Henry doesn’t mean to laugh, he didn’t really think that was something he did. Laugh at people’s expense. But he isn’t doing that. Alex is pouting over a pair of shoes, with wide brown eyes and slumped shoulders, and Henry is laughing at the absurdity of it all. He never thought that the man across the building cradling a beer to his chest was the type to pout and whine when a shop didn’t carry his size. He never thought he’d find that out. He never thought that stranger from that bar would turn into someone he knows. “You’re a dick,” Alex says, but he’s grinning and Henry is weak.

Pump The Volume by absoluteaudacity

Zahra, sitting across the table from Alex, gives him a stony glare. “Aids?” she signs and he shakes his head obstinately. His hearing aids make his ears itch and he isn’t wearing them in his own house, even if that house is The White House.

you're leaving (now i'm left amongst the living) by peppermintpatties

Six years since they've been together, Alex and Henry were now a far cry from the lovestruck couple they once were when their history began. If you ask Alex, all of it was Henry’s fault. If you ask Henry, he’d agree and say that Alex was right. But before Alex could ever find out why Henry does not seem like the man he once decided to spend the rest of his life with, he already walked away from it all. Now, Henry was alone, left to deal with whatever shattered remains he could salvage from his life. Or, the one where Henry’s sick and Alex only finds out two years after they've broken up.

shaken, not stirred by annesbonny

It starts when Henry orders a vodka martini, shaken not stirred. Or, the one where Alex has a little bit of a Thing for Bond, and Henry, after a very small amount of convincing, indulges him.

Rome, By All Means by schmulte

After five years away from home, His Royal Highness Prince Henry is finally returning to Europe to embark on a royal tour. After a particularly rough night filled with anxiety and homesickness, Henry sneaks out of his hotel to explore Rome and winds up asleep on a park bench. He's taken in by Alex, the son of a former US president trying to lay low after too much time spent in the press, and spends the night on his couch. From there, Alex is determined to show Henry a good time for at least one day of freedom, and the two become unlikely friends, and maybe something more.

Aftercare by whimsymanaged

When Alex has an intense hookup without aftercare, he finds himself on his best friend Henry’s doorstep in desperate need of looking after.

you're so gorgeous (it actually hurts) by vibrantsaturn

He's planning on mindlessly scrolling through his timeline while he waits for Henry to join the red carpet, but he feels an amused huff leave him when he sees 'alex can you fight,' is trending. His lip quirks up as he clicks on the screen to see what all of this is about, and he feels his breath leave him instantly. What the fuck. So. Henry has made it to the red carpet. And he looks fucking ethereal. Shit, he can't believe he gets to marry this man. How is his life real? or, People are thirsting over Henry on Twitter, and you know what? Valid. Alex can fight.

love is blind(folded) by weather_stained

“Baby,” he says, “you know I love what you can do with your gorgeous mouth, but I don't think even you could make me concentrate long enough to actually come amidst all this." He waves his hand in the general direction of the street where it sounds like they're repeatedly putting pieces of concrete in a blender and then throwing the whole blender in the garbage disposal. "Hm." Henry cocks his head to the side, letting his messy morning hair flop in his eyes. He purses his lips. "I might have an idea. If you trust me." There's loud construction outside the brownstone, but Henry helps Alex escape the noise.

The Witching Hours by RadioFriday

Henry drowned today in the waters of Lake LBJ. Henry also drowned yesterday. Alex was there. He remembers. June is certain she is breaking some kind of witching law but can't bring herself to care. Death of the Endless is a good sport even though she's far too busy for this Groundhog Day bullshit.

until next week! if you want to be tagged in future lists, let me know!

#rwrb rec list #rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #alex and henry #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #alex x henry #fic rec #rwrb fic rec #rwrb fanfiction

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️

That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.

If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:

Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest

Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.

Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.

I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:

Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)

Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle

Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement

Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:

When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation

Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks

Stretch after binding

Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest

If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method

Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it

In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #long post #if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up #this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder #it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me #and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality #i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him... #...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out #and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them #you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think #i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is #anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them #i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much #i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛

[boimgfrog]

My best friend's pet got ran over and tbh I cannot get over it. My school doesn't allow absences based on friend's pet's death, no matter how many times I have formally written to them. They said that one more "unexcused" absence will cause me to not graduate. But I really don't want to go to school crying, because last time I came to school crying, I had mascara on, and now everyone calls me "raccoon girl" because it was running really badly down my face. this is unrelated to the fact that one time while walking to assembly, my raccoon fursona slipped out from my binder. (Not school binder, the binder I was wearing at the time.)(No one really saw that time, except my crush who immediately stopped talking to me) Honenstly i don't know why im even telling you this, its not like you care or will believe me. you'll probably point and laugh just like the others at school.

Anyways, I really like your posts, this is my first time sending an ask...

this is maybe my favorite ask ever sorry for holding it hostage

#asks #anon

[grvyrd-drms]

TOBY ROMANCE HCS BUT WITH A TRANSMASC READER PUHLEASEEEE

toby rogers x transmasc!reader hcs

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A/N: as a cis girl that 1. has many transmasc friends and 2. has dated transmasc guys, i hope you're satisfied with my work lol!! i got kinda silly with this one i'm just too funny.

CW: mild mild mild NSFW, transmasc!reader, brief nudge to internalized homophobia

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-toby is so conflicted at first. him????? a HOMOSEXUAL?????? oh me oh my!! you bet!!

-he just cannot help staring at you behind his hooded droopy eyes. smirking at your jokes, wanting to spend more time around you. realizes his cheeks get all rosy when you get too close to him.

-i hc that he has big dorky feet, so if you use diy packers you'd definitely end up using his socks (please wash them beforehand he's been running around in the woods all day) to really get that big pp effect ykwim 💪💪💪.

-sometimes forgets that you're not biologically a guy and gets taken back at first when he remembers you're trans tbh. like there's just no doubt in his mind, whatever you want to be, that's what you are to him.

-totally doesn't care wether you wear your binder or not, or if you walk around shirtless. he's just so excited to have someone who tenderly loves and cares for him.

-anyone who gives you shit is dead before they even finish their sentence. even if you aren't bothered by it, he is. how fucking dare anyone be transphobic towards his boyfriend. will use any weapon/object nearby without even thinking.

-definitely steals T for you if you're at the manor and don't have access to it. five finger discount (in his terms that means he threatened to take off the five fingers of a doctor for it).

-(if you're on T) competes with you to see which one of you can grow facial hair faster. he doesn't grow much so you'd probs end up winning tbh.

-is so casual about your body. during intimate times he's just so pathetic that he doesn't care which holes you have lmaoo. he just wants to please you.

-staring issue. means no harm by it, but he just can't help getting lost in every curve, every crevice, every beauty mark and scar on your body.

-a little handsy so he may or may not touch/squeeze your chest during intimacy. absolutely loses his shit if he upsets you though. like totally spirals. you're gonna have to reassure him afterwards that you're okay lol.

-BIG HUGE cuddler. loves to just hold you in peace. he loves your body more than anything in the world.

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i hope i made you proud anon 🫡

#ticci toby x reader #ticci toby #toby rogers #transmasc #transmasc reader #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta smut #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #:3 #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby fanfic #gay

[peskytimeswithscar]

ok it's headcanon time for.... grian!!!!

in regards to identity i view him as being aro-spec, while i could find a specific label i feel like c!grian wouldn't care much into finding that label, i think he'd prefer to just identify as being on the spectrum but he wouldn't really put in the time or effort into researching it

he also is asexual!! however im just asexual myself so all my blorbos must be asexual bc it feels. weird if not

and he's gay!!! gay man, gay gay homo (but actually this is mainly just because of yhs where he says hes "no im into dudes", plus i just cannot see c!grian with a woman that man is gay)

i also see him as being on the asensual (sensual attraction is the desire to touch others in a non-sexual way, e.g. cuddling, kissing, etc) spectrum !! mainly demi-asenflux because i feel like he would only like touch from people he's close + sometimes really doesn't want to be touched, but sometimes/alot of the time he really wants to and is the clingiest

he also gives off vibes of being on the aplatonic spectrum but i cannot think of anything in specific, maybe demiplatonic and cupioplatonic? i just feel like smth is up w this man's platonic orientation,, he def wants to have friends and is willing to do so but he only really feels platonic attraction whenever he's actually close to a person

i could probably go more into detail but those are the primary ones in my head for his sexuality so lets (finally) go onto GENDER!!!!

this man is definitely transgenderism!!! he identifies as a trans-man tho i do feel like his standards of being a man definitely differ to society's, he's most definitely gender non-conforming and he mainly wears androgynous or feminine clothing most of the time (though he only really wears skirts or dresses if hes cross-dressing as ariana griande)

he also probably is somewhere on the non-binary spectrum he just doesn't really identify with it

i feel like he primarily uses it/he pronouns? he definitely feels less than human due to his watcher roots so it got used to being called it/its, he also only is called she/her when he's cross-dressing as ariana griande, and if i had to give him some neoprns i feel like he'd enjoy chirp/chirp's? or some sort of parrot themed neopronouns

i also think he wouldn't get top surgery! it's easier for him not to since he only gets dysphoric over the shape they cause (which can easily be solved via a binder) instead of the actual chest itself

ok gender part over now it's time for some other headcanons

this man is definitely 100% neurodivergent, i feel like in particular he has adhd (this man cannot finish the back of his bases and gets distracted off tasks like a dog seeing a squrriel) and autism!!! i feel like he sometimes goes non-verbal (though i feel, as a parrot hybrid, when he's non-verbal he just ends up copying what other people are saying to him, so maybe that could be considered semi-verbal?), i think he would stim ALOT using his wings, he's happy and suddenly u have feathers everywhere because he flapped them alongside his hands

i think he would also have really bad rejection sensitive dysphoria, he definitely dislikes getting rejected from things which leads to him bottling alot of things up and causing plenty of the scarian miscommunication we're all too familiar with

he also stims with bird noises alot! he likes to chirp and squawk when he's happy, tho that may also just be because he's a parrot hybrid

he definitely changes hyperfixations like the wind, one week he likes this one thing and another he likes this other thing, and i feel like he would only really have 1 or 2 special interests that actually stick around (one of them likely being architecture/building, the other probably being birds and such)

he tends to have a very changing routine and schedule due to his adhd HOWEVER he has some routines (mainly with scar in them, who prefers to have very set routines cause that man also has autism) which never change or both of them get stressed out (e.g. morning/night routine, a routine that started in the desert and then followed them onto hermitcraft - they both get very stressed out on the life series since it disrupts their routines)

this was.... alot more text than i was expecting to write but anyway!!! expect a scar one at some point

#3lscar.txt #peskytimes /r #scarian #(mentioned/implied) #grian #grianmc #hermitcraft grian #life series grian #grian headcanons #the silly #hermitcraft headcanons #im ngl i fully realised i myself am demiplatonic whilst writing this #thanks grian goodtimes

[roseverdict]

thinking abt how my parents once said i'm "not a very huggy person" a while back with me right there in the room.

i'm so touch-starved i have had multiple emotional breakdowns over it. unfortunately, my chest ballooned to a massively uncomfortable degree in middle and high school, rendering every hug awkward unless i want to shove boobage into both the faces of both myself and whomever i'm hugging (or make whoever i'm hugging hyper-aware of the fact that i cannot find a fitting bra or binder), and my only possible huggees are:

controlling father figure who makes everything about himself whenever i risk trying to open up or be vulnerable around him

mother figure who's just been kind of neutral and lets the father figure do whatever

brother whom i have an extremely frosty relationship with and who has incredibly volatile moods

brother who is the proud owner of even more volatile moods

brother whose boundaries are repeatedly ignored by the even more volatile one and whom i specifically try to respect the boundaries of so he can learn he can in fact have them

best friend of forever and ever and company who are actually chill about physical contact (but i only get to see them in-person a handful of times a year despite all living in the same county or so)

idk where this came from. idk where this is going. i think i'm going to dig out my weighted blanket tonight though

#rosie rambles #nightblogging #idk. when the touch is starving google send tweet

[our-transgender-experiences]

I’m trans, FTM, and I live in Florida. My parents are supportive, but they don’t use my perfected name or pronouns. I have good friends, but if I came out to them I doubt they’d still be with me. I don’t have dysphoria, but I still hate myself and my body. I’ve given away my binder to one of my friends as it doesn’t to anything to help.I’m not depressed and my life isn’t really that bad, as I’m getting into an art school and I pass well enough for people’s first assumptions on me are that I’m a boy, but I still want to kill myself. I’ve called a hotline and it doesn’t help. I’ve tried a few ways of coping, but they don’t help. Cutting doesn’t do shit. From the amount of oppression, and what I’m seeing more and more as a future where I will be hated and can’t get any surgery without money, which I doubt I’ll get in the first place, I really don’t see a reason to keep going. If I hate myself, and everyone hates me, what’s the point?

sorry for the vent, but thank you for running this blog

anon, i cannot emphasis this enough, do NOT kill yourself, i understand things suck, but things could get better, i'm sorry you feel like that, and you are always welcome to vent.

#transgender #suicide mention warning

[yanderedbdimagines]

I would like a scenario in the real world with the zappy doctor and his future obsession in the hospital! I am sw fine with anything but if you want an idea. How about his obsession being his future survivor instead of Feng? And that they are just as luckyy as Ace?

--------------

Zappy doc! Hahahaha! x’D

Ooohhh I think I see what you’re getting at and I like the idea! A thing or two may go in against the lore, but I may as well give in. xD I like this idea too much to listen to the rulez.

-------------

The Doctor

You voice out your concerns to your friends as you lock eyes onto the gigantic and mysterious crème-colored building. "I don't think this is a good idea," you say. Your eyes swivel to one of the many glass panes that have been partly shattered due to the ordeal of weather and time. You could have sworn that you just saw something, or perhaps even someone lurking behind it.

But your friends are not convinced. "Don't be such a wuss, [Y/N]," one of your male friends says, rolling his eyes at you. "This is just like any other abandoned building. You'll see, even with these wacky stories going around."

Another friend chimes in, "I agree. Besides, there has to be a good explanation of why this hospital facility can't be found anywhere on the map and why most of the surrounding buildings seem to have been demolished. It has to be something juicy since we're on US Military soil right now."

You scoff, "Which is exactly why I don't like being here. One wrong move and they'll know that we're trespassing. And who knows what kind of penalty we'll face if they capture us here."

"Well then, that makes it all the more reason to move about more carefully, don't you?" your friend says. "Yeah, so relax. We'll be in and out in a jiffy."

As you enter the building, the heavy smell of rust, mold, and wet flaking plaster fills the chilly air. You lift your nose even further up into the air to avoid breathing in the noxious fumes of the place. You realize that you should have brought a half respirator mask with you. The sight alone is already giving you the feeling as if something is about to clog up your lungs.

“Let’s split up. We can explore the institute a bit faster this way,” one proposes. The rest went along almost instantly. Despite your own reservations, you decide to go along with the group, splitting up to explore the different parts of the abandoned hospital. One friend decided he’d like to stick with you.

After splitting up, you follow the young man into the study, shaking off the anxiety from your shoulders. The tall shelves are stacked with endless rows of books, file folders, patient documents, and old video cassettes.

“Wow, look at this place [Y/N]! Who knew this hospital would have an unique room like this hidden here! There’s even still some cool-looking stuff on the desk and there’s nothing littering the floor,” your friend points out, pointing the lens of his camera towards the Persian carpet in order to capture some footage of it before facing it towards the large desk and the brown leather chair standing behind it. 

Circling around the desk, you curiously open up one of the worn binders, noticing that the paper itself is cleaner than what you expected it to be, too. Still, you decide to read the texts and examine the drawn pictures displayed within. The beautiful writings and drawings are in a surprisingly pristine condition, save for a tiny smudge here and there.

“Very impressive,” you can’t help but muse as you read through the procedure itself, only to scowl in disgust after another minute, your friend now looking over your shoulder as well. “And impressively inhumane,” you murmur after. “This procedure must have been a hell for the person involved. The fact that this was allowed here is something I cannot wrap my head around.” 

“I don’t get it at all… What is this about? And what does ECT mean?”

“Short for electroconvulsive therapy. This research is a detailed comprehensive study of the results of one of several electroshock therapies that seem to have taken pla-” you cut yourself off, confusing your friend greatly. Your eyes widen, your hair seems to stand on end and your hands impulsively grab for the binder.

“The date… T-This happened a month ago…” you say, your voice trailing off.

As you both stand there, staring at the binder filled with valuable data about the inhumane procedures that took place in the hospital, a voice suddenly interrupts your thoughts. "This impressively inhumane procedure surely has taken place quite a while ago, I sadly have to say. And I do advise you to put that down in the same state as it was there previously. That data is very valuable to me. As you may have noticed, patients are very hard to come by these days. Today is nothing more than a pleasant exception."

You both whip around in shock and stare at the towering man now filling the doorway. His illuminating eyes are fixated only on you as he speaks. A strange metallic contraption keeps his eyes and mouth pried wide open, and his overall skin texture is mostly scarred and even cracked around his hands. Metal wiring snakes through the flesh of his surprisingly muscular arms before protruding out of it, sparking in their wake.

As you both realize the strange situation you find yourselves in, you waste no time to give your friend a hard shove with the binder before the two of you stumble out of the office room and down the long hallway. You can hear the man in the torn lab coat chasing after you.

You quickly zip open your backpack and stuff the binder inside of it, knowing that this data is priceless and could serve as proof that this hospital isn't quite as abandoned as the locals currently believe it to be. Perhaps the horrors within these documents may even stir the American government to do something about this place if it ever goes public in any shape or form.

You doubt that the man would let you go now as you've just stolen his valuable data. So, you decide to take a high risk, high reward approach and try to outrun him, knowing very well that you may as well be angering him because of this. A sudden jolt of static electricity hits both you and your friend, and you scream sharply in unison as a joyful and mocking laughter responds from behind. An indescribable tingling sensation settles in between your ears, swinging between a mild ache and a burning sensation.

You yell out to your friend to go left and warn the others as you turn right on the hallway's junction. With a quick look over your shoulder, your expectation that he'd decide to chase you actually came true. You've become too big of a priority with that binder now in your possession, so you decide to pick up the pace even further than you already did.

As you rush through the concrete hive of narrow hallways and tiny rooms, a sense of claustrophobia, fear, and utmost confusion about the layout completely throws you off your memory to remember on where you and your friends came in through and where you even currently are. Heavy footfalls are hot on your heel now, so you vault over a brick wall and rush up a flight of stairs, passing a medical procedure cart at the very top of it.

Suddenly, you whirl around, managing to surprise the Doctor, before you push the cart off its place and straight towards the man who is halfway up. As you decide to keep on running, you hear it make contact with him before a loud crash and a pained yelp reaches your ears, followed by loud and amused laughter bordering on a laugh of utmost insanity.

Breathless and terrified, you bolt through the dark hospital hallways, heart racing as you try to put as much distance between yourself and the madman behind you. You find and burst through the exit doors and race into the forest beyond, the dense trees and underbrush slowing you down but providing much-needed cover.

You run for what feels like hours, your feet aching and your lungs burning, but you can't stop. You don't dare look back, afraid that he'll catch up to you, and you don't even know where you're going. But you can't stay there, not with that maniac on your tail.

Just when you feel like you can't run anymore, you stumble onto a deserted road. You pause for a moment, trying to catch your breath and figure out which way to go, when you hear the sound of a car approaching. Without thinking, you step out into the middle of the road and wave your arms frantically, hoping the driver will see you.

The car screeches to a halt just in front of you, and the driver- a woman, rolls down the window to ask if you're okay. You're about to answer when you catch a glimpse of movement within the deeper parts of the forest. You gasp loudly and dive into the backseat of the car, urging the driver to take off as fast as possible.

You swivel around in the leather backseat, throwing a panicked glance over your shivering shoulder. Your wide eyes meet fluorescent white ones which can only belong to the deranged man currently basking in the darkness of the night. Only the faint sparks of electricity jumping from the wiring sticking out of his bulky arms further indicate that it’s him as his large form quickly grows smaller and smaller by the second.

You look away, a silent sigh of relieve escaping you. You got away from him… You could only thank whichever higher power there might be for having this car drive on that particular road the moment you needed an actual escape the most. More so that it’s a nice lady that responded to your waiving arms and let you inside with perplexity and slight suspicion decorating her face.

As you try to calm your breathing, you couldn’t help but to let your mind wander to your friends. You hope that the rest have been warned, and somehow could escape alright. Another sigh escapes you. You have the feeling they’ll be fine if they don’t stick around for too long. For now, the most important thing is that you’re safe.

But… You spoke much, much too soon.

“What is that?” The woman questions out loud from her spot behind the wheel after five minutes’ worth of driving in silence, her gaze set on the dark mist protruding from the canopy above further up ahead.

Nothing more could be said as they turned into spider-like appendages and picked up the car as if it was just a toy, the two of you screaming in unison as the car door at your side got ripped off its hinges before one of these things hooked around your legs and dragged you outside in one swift motion.

The vehicle falls towards the ground with a crash as you’re fully suspended in the air. The lady doesn’t seem to be able to crawl out of the car for some reason, the smell of gasoline penetrating your crinkling nose a second after it had hit the worn concrete.

With horror, you watch as the vehicle suddenly catches fire as you’re hoisted higher and higher up into the cold atmosphere, immense heat soon rushing past as the car quickly got engulfed into a ball of roaring flames as a contradictory icy scream pierces through the air.   

You fall limp, the anxiety with everything that has happened to you so far finally catching up to you, the final drop being the terrifying wails of a dying person.

Sadly, this would only be the beginning of an experience that’s even darker and more twisted in volume…

#dbd #dbd x reader #reader insert #herman carter #the doctor #yandere

[ven-of-the-valley]

Hello this is a really dumb question about binding so please don’t answer if you’re not comfortable

Basically, I’m a trans guy and I cannot get a binder at the moment. I’ve heard DIY binders can be very dangerous, but I made this thing that works as one. I am able to breathe and it’s even comfortable, I don’t think it’s causing me any “bad pressure” or even pain? I’m just wondering about safety if you have any insight into how safe this is

That would definitely depend on how you’re binding. Even if there are no noticeable bad pressure or breathing problems, breathing and back issues can be a serious problem with improper binding. So please, please, please do lots of research and if you notice any signs of hurt or bruising or breathing hindrance, try a different route.

Now, I’m no expert as far as the health concerns, and I would definitely do some more research, but I can definitely share my pre-official-binder advice.

My number one thing is wearing baggy clothing, that was my go to. Even still is on days that I’m not binding.

Sports bras are also a really good alternative. Obviously, that is also subjective to chest size as well, but at the very least, sports bras compress your chest more and tend to help flatten. Sports bras labeled “no bounce” tend to be more sturdy, and some people will even layer sports bras to help flatten more (just not too many as to be uncomfortable or harmful). Do not buy a sports bra that is too small. I know chest dysphoria is a bitch, but it’s not worth hurting yourself for.

Sports bras and baggy clothing were my go-tos, but some others I’ve heard are camisoles and pantyhose. I can’t testify to either, I don’t like the texture of pantyhose and camisoles are really uncomfortable for me, but those are some you could look into. Some people can also get away with lighter compression tops, I know Target had some swim one last pride month, but that’s kind of a gray area and will depend on the situation. I’ve also never worn one, so I don’t know how well they work.

I know most people know this anyway, but avoid bandaging or duct-taping your chest. It may be tempting sometimes, and it may not seem like that bad of an option, but these things are not meant to be around your chest that tight. You’re putting your ribs and your lungs at a big risk (and your skin if you are using duct tape).

As with any binding technique, do not bind for over 8 hours or sleep in a binder/binder substitute. If you plan on heavy or even moderate activity or exercise, it’s best to stick with a sports bra (even if you have an official binder). Don’t try to go tighter or combine methods if you aren’t getting the results you want. I know that body dysphoria is really hard, but you can’t go putting your body in danger, possibly permanently.

Like I said, I’m no professional, this is just stuff I have learned over the years from my own experiences, friends, and various videos and posts. I heavily recommend additional research to stay safe. As always, bind safely, and don’t be afraid to ask me anything more.

To other people, I’m sure I missed things, don’t be afraid to add in comments and reblogs!

#trans #transgender #transmasc #trans man #trans ftm #chest binding #transmasc tips #trans tips #bind safely #I don’t know why I’ve had so many questions lately but I’m honestly honored #I’ve really loved being able to help where I can #so everyone feel welcome to ask help if needed

[forgotten-realms-atlas]

Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting Box Set - 1993

Whilst I toil away at mapmaking, I did reward myself with a bit of treasure! In my deep plunges into the interwebs, I did in fact stumble across a wonderful artifact indeed. (But do forgive me for the photo quality, I was too excited for touch-ups!)

From thirty years ago, the “New Edition” of the Forgotten Realms Campaign setting! What a find! Though the box itself has a few dings and dents (a sign of much love, I’m sure), the treasures inside this chest were in far better condition.

Near mint, if I do say so myself! We see here our good friend Elminster here in some of my favorite art of him, but a Drizzt Do’Urden can also be spotted on the Grand Tour of the Realms, among other familiar faces.

I have not yet read through all of these, but soon I will be able to dispense what knowledge I find!

In addition to these fine books, the set came with a number of loose papers and maps, of which I had never seen before in digital or physical form. 

Four in total! Two of eastern Faerun, and two of western. Once I am able to do so safely, I will be creating high resolution scans of these maps to share on this very blog, so do keep your eyes out!

But even more ingenious, included in the box was not one, but two of these! The transparent overlay seen here is made to show scale, and to be moved across the maps. As they all are drawn to the same scale, the overlays can be used between any of them, and having two copies of the overlay means more than one can be placed at a time, or, in case one is lost, there is a backup. These will provide themselves invaluable in reconstructing maps of the realms.

It also makes me wonder why we do not see these more often in more modern reproductions of these maps. I have not seen such overlays in any other piece of media for the Realms or any other setting, but they seem so useful, as well as inexpensive to produce! Perhaps this can be traced to the phasing out of overhead projectors and other such common technology of the 80s and 90s that saw the use of transparencies such as these. Wet erase markers faded out of use, and purchasing transparency films has become more difficult over time. Still, I hope that tools such as this can make a return. If nothing else, it sure beats getting out strings to try to measure the distances!

Following the maps, we find these sheets of symbols. My first thought was, are these sticker sheets? But thankfully, no! No aged glues or sticky pages greeted me (for surely stickers would not age well over three decades). These are actually cards, meant to be cut out and referenced. I am infinitely grateful that the previous owners of this box did not do so, since being in one piece has kept these from being lost or damaged, in the way small pieces often are. 

The first three pages include runes and symbols. Some are for factions, such as the recognizable harp of the Harpers on the first page. Some are magical, namely the runes in green, and others are simply to convey a message. 

The last two pages are the symbols of various gods and powers in the Realms, though some of the page is still dedicated to runes. Again, I will be creating scans, both front and back, to share.

And yes, the backs of all of them contain some information about the image on the front. I cannot wait to make copies so that I feel confident in cutting out and using the cards, while still keeping the originals in good condition.

The final portion of this treasure chest of information is a bestiary. The pages are unbound, but punched to fit into a ringed binder. I adore all the art. Like before, I will create scans, and perhaps write on more specific aspects of the creatures therein.

But before I go to work on my maps again, I grant you the most wonderful gift that this box has to offer: 

Thank you all, and safe journeys, travelers~

#forgotten realms #faerun #forgotten realms campaign setting #dungeons and dragons #ad&d 2e #AD&D #forgotten realms atlas #treasure trove #tressym #books of the realms #dnd #d&d #product review #I think this counts as a review? #30 year old things can still be reviewed #even if they are a pain to buy #also I got this for $60!!!! #the find of a lifetime truly

[djsadbean]

i don't think i've ever mentioned this but im the BIGGEST fan of the original smurfs tv show from the 80s and my mom just gave me some of her original smurf stickers that she put on her school binder and IT STILL STICKS 45 YEARS LATER.

i'm SO SO happy ough ive never had my own smurfs merch from the actual show (im a big ol hater about the modern smurfs adaptation ugh hate. it.) these stickers are so cute and i fell down a rabbit hole of looking at vintage smurfs merch and i want ALL OF IT. i cannot express how happy i am rn i used to draw the smurfs all the time and i made my friends watch it with me and i ranted to them about all the new adaptations LOL celebrate with me as i loose all my money to vintage smurfs merch on ebay

i put them on my cricut!! these are the first stickers to be used to decorate my cricut (i dont like putting stickers one at a time, i like to plan ahead lmao) so these are so so special to me. especially since my mom saved up her little 5th grader money to buy these at the mexican version of macy's (idk the name lmao but thats how she described it) back in the 80s and now theyre mine!! she told me that if she had known her future daughter wanted them she wouldve bought more LOL

she told me that back then she and her classmates would trade stickers to put on their rulers, binders, etc. so she traded a few from this sticker pack to get some strawberry shortcake stickers and hello kitty stickers (i LOVE strawberry shortcake and my sister LOVES hello kitty) so its so special that we still, as a family, love these characters.

sometimes i feel very disconnected from the past for a lot of personal reasons and this made me feel so happy and human. like her little trip to the mall mattered so much and 45 years later im having an incredible day bc of that small purchase she made when she was like 9 years old. it also reminded me of something i loved as a kid that i just forgot about and it made me so so happy. like neither of us really had to go out of our way to do something today but this ended up being so special to me.

i hope i made sense :] peace and luv on planet earf

#djsadbean rambles #the smurfs #peace n luv on planet earf

[pumpkinsy0]

twttin characters (and rusty james from rumble fish lol) in my early 2000s au :3

cathy: im gonna tell yall RIGHT now, she goes by “cat”, i cannot explain it to u but she just DOES to me, nobody rlly knows her as cathy shes just,,,cat, shes that kind of girl that always has a camera in her hand just taking pics of whatever and she posts it on flickr, she loves photography, shes always wearing those milkmaid tops or big sweaters with bell bottom jeans, and her hair is short, think of those teen movies w that “down to earth pretty chill w her walkman” girl and thats her, she was prolly watching those mlp tribute vids on her family computer, she thinks its cute, she loves collecting pins n stuff, she loves friends (the show)

m&m: gonna b so honest w u, m&m just seems so timeless to me i dont rlly have much to say for him bc i think he’d act the exact same way no matter the time period, BUT some things i can add is that he really likes the teenage mutant ninja turtles and loves comic books so theres that, hes a bit of a collector of just about anything and so cathy takes pics of his room a lot and post it on flickr so theres that, he’d be in the family computer quite a bit and since in the early 2000s barely any adult knew how to use the computer he was just on there goin crazy in chatrooms on some odd ass forum talking about figurines or somethin, god bless his soul, always has cathy’s walkman and gameboy she never gets to use them but its ok, she lives her bro, he loves pokemon and has a card collection in his binder

mark: he makes fun of ppl who use the internet (in the early 2000s the internet was seen as a more of a niche interest and it was associated with like geeks/nerds n stuff) and video games (cough cough m&m cough), literally all he watches is adult swim if not, he loves wwe, that guy whos always in a skatepark despite never??? skating???? he just has a bit of friends there and hangs out w them a but, BUT he does have a bike he uses as transportation and can actually do some pretty cool tricks like my god i cant even hate, has 1 snapback hat he wears religiously, has a bunch of posters of half naked women on his side of the room

bryon: he has so many things from abercrombie and fitch, hollister, american eagle, hes THAT guy good lord, he would be a bit into basketball, i could see that, watches myv just to be judgey but also bc pretty girls on tv, watches jackass w mark, has a playstation 1 he just NEVER touches, has THE SMALLEST interest in video games like halo and grand theft auto, action movies are his thing, if u wanna see an action movie hes the guy

rusty james: thinks hes sooooo grown for watching adult swim, he and “thinks its for losers”, hes that guy thats into bmx sports, steals a ton of magazines on it, HATES boy bands but is like “if i was in one the girls would LOVE me”

#that was then this is now #bryon douglas #mark jennings #cathy carlson #m&m carlson #rusty james #rumble fish

[smoochkooks]

—chapter sixteen: we could be so good

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, smut

word count: 1.5k

summary: thinking about it right now, you know one thing: all the money and praise would never replace what you really desire. and the saddest part? you know all too well that you could be so good together.

previous || next

There's a part of you, the one who barely comes to light and makes its voice be heard loud and clear, that is brave enough to let you be selfish just for a brief moment. It comes either during a pause in your daytime procrastination or haunts you during those nights when it's so hard to sleep that the best thing you could do is get lost in your own thoughts.

You lived thousands of scenarios in your life, when it was dark outside and your wild imagination couldn't let your eyes fall shut. Some you brought to life on paper and won trophies for, some you published online under a pseudonym. But for some reason, it was your own  story of life you wrote a real book about.

In your head, even the saddest stories end with a happy-ending. Even when it's bitter-sweet, even if someone dies along the way and the world is falling apart, at the end, the main characters find peace and solace. And love.

Yet, a hopeless romantic like you decided to tell the world the story that ends on a sad note for the main protagonist – she doesn't find love in the person she wants the most. Instead, she is forced to watch as he drifts away from her into the arms of another woman. Not every romance novel has to have an oblivious happy-ending. Because even one-sided love can be beautiful.

Ever since the book came out, you keep refreshing its dedicated page on one of the most popular sites in the country where people publish their reviews. Most of them are good, some demand a sequel, some find the narrative rather lackluster, some on contrary - enjoy the absence of dynamism. You print out your favourite reviews and store them in a separate binder. You skim through the pages yet again, landing on a comment that says:

I've read many romance books in my life. I like to idealise being in love and sometimes I need something to remind me that real life doesn't necessarily look like that. There's a huge possibility I'm not going to fall in love with my enemy, no one will probably ask me to be their fake-date for a wedding, I won't have a steamy fling with a vampire or a demon sent from Hell. An Ode To A Broken Heart  brutally brought me back to Earth, but it was such a beautiful journey! We need more books like this one – books that you cannot describe with other word than 'real' or 'authentic'.

Authentic, they say. They couldn't be closer to the truth. Should you even take it as compliment, if it were your feelings that got poured onto paper and now are read by masses?

Ji-eun sends you once in a week a report with numbers, excel sheets and diagrams but you only look at the overview she puts at the beginning of each e-mail : “An Ode To A Broken Heart is no 1 on...”, “Bestseller on...”, “Biggest literary debut since...”.  They all make you extremely happy. You even have an interview booked, full discretion disclosed.

Sometimes you wonder – how you life would have looked like if Jungkook wasn't in love with someone else? Would you have confessed to him and lived a happy-ever-after? Would you have published your own book by the age of twenty-five?

Thinking about it right now, you know one thing: all the money and praise would never replace what you really desire. And the saddest part? You know all too well that you could be so good together. It's actually what hurts you the most – the feeling that you could be that someone for Jungkook, instead of Soojin.

You thought you were slowly but steadily moving on until Hoseok's New Year's Eve Party happened, and Jungkook's quarrel with Soojin, and the kiss...

You did not speak a word about it ever since. A part of you prays Jungkook was so drunk he didn't remember anything the next day but you're also his best friend and you had seen him drink more and wake up in the morning with very clear memories from the prior night. Did he tell Soojin? Maybe if he did, you would be already facing her wrath?

Nothing makes sense anymore with Jeon Jungkook.

It's snowing again. You sit in front of your laptop, staring outside the window instead of the screen. They said in the news this morning that today is going to be the coldest day since the beginning of winter. You don't see anything beside endless lands of white fluff until something catches your attention: a man, dressed in a black jacket walking in the direction of your building. And when you look closer, you realise it's him.

Panicked, you look around your apartment. It's mostly spotless but you didn't wash your dishes after dinner. You examine yourself in the mirror briefly. You're not wearing makeup, your hair could use some more styling. At least you've put on a fresh pair of leggings and grey sweater in the morning.

Since you have approximately five minutes until Jungkook reaches your floor, you decide to start washing the dishes so you would appear surprised by his sudden visit when he knocks on your door.

He does it four minutes later. You drop the sponge into the sink and take a deep breath. It's not unusual of him to visit you announced (you used to do that all the time when you were younger) but ever since you graduated college and had less and less time to spend hanging out together, it became a norm to call or text each other before coming over.

It must be something urgent then,

you think to yourself and sigh shakily, wiping your hands dry.

You don't think you will ever stop being mesmerised by Jeon Jungkook's beauty. His face is flushed from cold and his hair is a bit wet from snow but he still looks like the most handsome man you have ever seen. He flashes you a faint smile when you open the door but there's something different about his demeanor this time. You know him too long not to notice.

“Hi,” he says, a bit raspy from the cold. “I'm sorry I didn't text you. I hope I'm not interrupting you?”

You shake your head. “Of course not. You know I'm the biggest homebody ever,” you reply. “Come in.”

He takes off his jacket and shoes and makes his way to your couch. 

“Would you like something to drink? I'd suggest you tea but you know I don't drink it so it's either coffee or water.” you propose.

“Black coffee's good. Thanks.”

“Jeon Jungkook drinking black coffee? What happened to the man who drank four cups of tea each day during winter?”

“Well, he still drinks tea but the hostess as usual doesn't have it.” he says and you can't help but notice the jabbing lilt to his voice. You spend years analyzing people's emotions to know exactly when someone's not in a good mood.

Did he possibly tell Soojin? Did they have a fight? Is that why he is so aloof towards you?

Turning around to ask him if he'd like some sugar in his coffee, your eyes trace his line of sight and land on a cardboard box filled with your book collection. Shit.

“Are you moving out?” he asks, visibly frowning.

You bit your lip before replying, “Ah, yeah. I haven't told anyone yet because it's kind of fresh news. I have time until next month to move out so I decided I might as well start packing now.”

You like your current apartment, however when the first paycheck from the Varieté Publishing came you realised you can afford something even better and that’s how you ended up renting a place in a new residential area.

“Which part of the city?”

“Samseong-dong.”

Jungkook doesn't say anything for a while, not until you're placing his coffee in front of him on the table. “Samseong-dong,” he repeats, drawling the words. “So they must be paying you really nicely.”

Frowning, you put your own coffee cup down. “It's a small studio apartment, not a penthouse or anything like that,” you start to explain but stop mid-sentence, hearing Jungkook's laugh. But it's not the good-kind of Jungkook's laugh. It sounded more like a scoff.

“I can't believe you're lying straight to my face, ___.”

You drop your spoon. It lands of the glass table with loud, cluttering noise. “I don't know what you're talking about right now, Jungkook.” you say as steadily as you can manage.

Jungkook pins you with his stare. There's no way to hide from it, so you have no choice but to look into his stormy eyes. “I thought I knew you and all this time you've–” he cuts himself with a chuckle and shakes his head, like he doesn't believe his own words. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asks, almost pleadingly.

“Tell you what?” you stutter, however you already know the answer. You can feel it, it’s been dreaded for too long. There’s no escaping from it now, you’ve been backed against the wall.

You see the agony in his eyes, before he says:

“That you're in love with me.”

#jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #networkbangtan #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #bts smut #jungkook angst #an ode to a broken heart #my wrtitng #he he :)

[according2thelore]

thank you so much for the tag in that post!!! i immediately forgot every fact about myself unfortunately BUT i have two follow up qs for y'all.........

MERLIN! i am also obsessed with merlin and btw if you have a merlin account you are OBLIGATED BY LAW to tell me. constitutional amendment from the obama era. i think the merlin <--> supernatural pathway is all about duty by the way. and also gay sex.

also charlotte consider this ask your one drink please 🍷 and DO TELL!

haha, that's so fair! we love follow-up qs!

lizzy:

uh-oh! by law you say?? i'm sweatin'...i also love merlin! so much! i cannot shut up about it, and i have written/continue to write for merlin under a different account...but i fear i might have to break the law on this one. and it's strictly for the reason that i have Very Normal friends not familiar with fandom that follow my writing/keep up with my other ao3 and if they find out i shake the boys from spn between my teeth like a dog, i would have some massive explaining to do. obama's gonna come break my door down 😔 i am kissing you passionately in apology! but i think folks like my merlin work pretty okay! my biggest merlin fic is around 100k hits, which blows my mind with violence each day lol

you get it!!! you get it so hard!!!!!! what drives me crazy about merlin and spn is the inevitability of it all. they are soulmates, and they are fated to be joined, but at what cost? literally what cost? they are opposed forces, hunter and hunted, but a bond of love and forgiveness and belonging that keep them tethered beyond separation. it's the continuous loss and torture and fear and not leaving! they don't want to leave! their lives would be easier if they didn't love each other, but they can't stop. and they HAVE SEX! one of the things that sticks in my brain so hard about merlin specifically is the lengths that merlin goes to protect/save uther for arthur's sake. like that level of devotion, even at the betrayal of self, is BARK INDUCING!!! i could write forever and ever amen about merlin, so if i don't stop now, this entire post will just be me yapping and yapping.

charlotte:

oh my god WELL a few moments stand out from that day. first, lizzy and I were THE ONLY ONES TO DRESS UP after lizzy explained that people dressed up at cons (this was my first con ever—baby’s first!). Also me when I lie lol there were a couple sexy castiels but I digress. (lizzy note: there was also a billie and death cosplayer that blew my fucking mind my beloved <3)

second, literally everyone at our con had already met the boys. like. a girl pulled out a BINDER with like 4 m&g photos per page and just kept flipping through it. so while we were nervous wrecks all day, everyone was mysteriously so…chill?? like we picked up food on the way there and barely ate any of it since we were making ourselves ill.

waiting in line?? girl embarrassing you wouldn’t have wanted to see us because we were HYPERVENTILATING. as soon as we cleared the doorway and saw jared, he made eye contact with us and kept glancing over the line to check when we were coming up (because of our slay niche fits) and as soon as we did, he said the episode BY NAME and told us we did a great job. (lizzy note: he was very excited and also his hand is as big is my waist i blacked out the whole thing if i didn’t have a pic i wouldn’t think it happened)

that man’s chest and arms. gigantic. bigger than my head. he was as solid as a piece of marble. we were like what the fuck. took our picture and NO JOKE we had to sit down on the floor in the hallway. we called lizzy’s mom. we bragged to the barista in the convention center, who was also very excited. we vomited and threw up because misha was next but in character and costume and let me just say

that man’s hands were FRIGID.

I’ll say it!! (looking at you lizzy who doesn’t remember it smh.) his m&g was slay ish because he was just smoldering and barely said anything (LMAO our man was tired and they were running 2 hrs behind). but! hilarious. I have both of the pictures hanging in identical frames next to each other in my first grown up apartment and it looks like the same photo at a first glance. it is the second most expensive thing on my wall (my diploma taking first 🤧).

and that…that was a glorious day. we’re trying to go again since jensen was sold out so we can complete the trifecta 🫶

-charlotte (& lizzy! hello! 2-for-1!)

#ask box #charlotte answers #lizzy answers #secondhandroad #bestie <3 beloved secondhandroad <3

[bakedbananners]

do you have any ftm magnus chase headcanons that are mostly fluffy?

OH BOY DO I!

I know Jack would offer to give him top surgery as a fucked up form of allyship LMAO

Since his mom always had short hair he just automatically thinks that short hair=feminine so having longer hair is really gender-affirming for him :)

Natalie just raising him with hardly any gender signifiers or anything so one day he’s just like mom I’m a boy now and she’s like ok awesome 👍

The thought of him picking the name Magnus when he is like 12 is very funny to me. It rhymes with swagness. 💀 and then when he’s 16 he’s like god that was so cringe,,, but he’s too attached to the name to change it now kmslfnfkdndk

Forgets to take off his binder constantly during long quests. he’s just like hm I cannot breathe. I am dying now. I think his friends have to constantly check on him bc he is silly.

Tbh I don’t think he really binds at all when not doing quests or anything I think he does not care lol especially bc he wouldn’t able to do it while homeless

I already made a whole thing about it but the idea of Magnus being trans the whole time and just. not telling Alex is so funny lol

Alex picks out the most obnoxious binders all the time. They are so bright and ugly. Magnus wears them tho lol.

He just. doesnt get cramps n when Mallory asks why not he’s just like Lol I make them go away 😝 and she almost strangles him

Any time he gets the Dysphoria Feels Halfborn is like aggressively and loudly validating lmao. Like Magnus my FRIEND who is a GUY. the most MASCULINE GUY I know‼️

Annabeth (hc she is transfem) giving him any of her old clothes/stuff she doesn’t want anymore 🥺🥺🥺

#I loooove transgender people… #magnus chase #mcga #annabeth chase #alex fierro #fierrochase #riordanverse #ask #me talking

[kaunis-sielu]

Frozen: First Day

You don’t think you slept much last night. After getting back to Steve and Cat’s and giving Goose lots of love you’d gone to bed.

You were so excited to get to work that you’d been almost a half hour early to practice. You almost get lost on your way to the GM Hela’s office. You’d met her at the job interview and while she’d been terrifying you’d also admired her. As far as you were aware she is the only female GM in the NHL so she had to be relatively terrifying.

You head into the trainer’s room and nearly walk into a half naked Thor.

“Oh, sorry. I’m looking for Jane.” You say, as Thor stares down at you in surprise. “Do you know where she is?”

“You’re Cat’s Moxie.” He says, and you nod.

“Um yea, and I’m looking for Jane.”

“Why?”

“She’s the trainer who’s supposed to show me the ropes?”

“What?”

“I work here now? I’m the new athletic trainer.”

“Oh.” He doesn’t sound pleased or disappointed by this fact, you’re not sure that’s a good or bad thing. “Um, I think she’s in the back with Loki and the ice bath.” He says hitching a thumb over his shoulder.

“Awesome, thank you.” You tell him with a bright smile. God you’re glad that no one else was around to witness this exchange. It’s been so fucking awkward.

“Moxie?”

“Yea?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Last night?”

“Yea.” You give him a little half shrug,

“Didn’t seem like the right time. You should have some Pedialyte and some pain killers.”

“I’m, uh I’m not hungover.” He looks it, blurry eyes, tired face.

“Oh. Sorry, I just assumed with how Loki said you were celebrating…” you let the word trail off and Thor gives you a tight lipped smile.

“Just didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“Okay, well, water is your best friend. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks Moxie.” You nod then head for the back of the room where there’s a door that says ‘baths’ on it. You knock as you slowly push open the door and when your gaze meets Loki’s ice blue one he looks as surprised as his brother.

“Moxie?”

“Hey, I’m looking for Jane.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m Jane.” A pretty light brown haired woman says with furrowed brows, “who are you?” You introduce yourself and realization dawns on her face.

“I go by Moxie.” You tell her with a smile, “I met Loki and Thor last night.”

“Oh, awesome. So Loki has five more minutes in the ice bath, he’s got a hip injury that flared yesterday at practice.”

“Okay.”

“I have a whole ass binder of injuries and things we have to do for each player. You’re going to be working with the second line for now.” She says as she leads you away. Out of the corner of your eye you see Loki grab his phone and start to text someone.

“Sounds good.” You agree as she leads you into a little room.

“Okay, here you go. Start with Ian, Kraglin, Tyr, Richard and Korg.”

“Perfect thank you.” You tell her, it’s a little weird that she’s assigned you the second line and second goalie but you’re not going to argue.

You’re reading through Korg’s information when someone knocks on the door. You look up as a bald man sticks his head inside.

“You Moxie?”

“Yea.”

“I’m Korg. I need my ankles wrapped.”

“Oh, I was just reading through your binder. I’ll come out.” You tell him closing the binder and following him out. You grab some tape and a pair of gloves and get to work, Thor is talking to Jane over on another bench.

You’re kept busy for a while before practice then you take a couple of the binders and head out to be on the bench for practice. It’s chaotic and fun and you cannot believe this is your life.

It’s not until you’re packing up to leave that Thor stops you. His hair is wet from a shower and god it’s not fair how good he looks.

“Hey, how did your first day go?”

“Good. Chaotic but honestly, I love it.” You tell him with a wide smile.

“I’m happy to hear that. Korg said your wraps on his ankles were some of the best he’s ever had.”

“Oh good, I’ve been doing athletic training for a while now. This isn’t even the first professional team I’ve worked for.”

“Who did you work for before?”

“Eternals.”

“Oh, not another hockey team?”

“No.” He doesn’t need to know that it’s because of your ex that you didn’t even try for the Giants. They were the hockey team that was in the same city as the Eternals, but with Skurge playing on their team you’d had no desire to work for them. You’d dated Skurge before he insisted on being called Skurge, thank god, because you couldn’t take that seriously. “But I have a meeting so I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You tell him with a smile before grabbing your bag and heading out to meet Yelena and see her apartment.

🏒🏒🏒

This is a series of one shots. If you have any suggestions or ideas for Thor and Moxie please let me know.

Tag list:

@foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @wonderlandfandomkingdom @killcomet @abschaffer2 @sass-masterkittenmama

#hockey player thor x reader #hockey player au #hockey player thor #ice hockey player thor x reader #ice hockey player thor #thor x reader #Thor x reader au #frozen story