#one of my first true traditional-digital mixed pieces

[miraculousfanworks]

Creator Spotlight: Day

The Miraculous Fanworks Discord server’s spotlight highlights content creators in the community! Each month, one artist and one writer will have their accounts promoted on our social media accounts.

This month’s spotlight highlights a creator who is both a writer and an artist: @day-writingdaydreams!

Day is both a talented writer and artist, coming up with inventive scenarios for all aspects of creating.

We’ve interviewed her, asking her questions about her fanworks and advice for other creators.

1. How long have you been writing in general?

I was a late bloomer to the writing scene, as I was primarily a reader. I finally started to write in 2019, after I had gotten very angry about a crucial detail in a fanfic that I had read in another fandom. I was 36 years old at the time, and I finally had the urge to write. My first piece wound up being a songfic that I had written for a Big Bang in another fandom, but I had started writing sporadically ever since. 

2. How long have you been drawing in general?

I’ve been drawing ever since I could remember, and art class was one of my favorite subjects. I started creating art under the name PenPaperInk&Paint during the 2020 pandemic, as I had started a YouTube channel for it at the time, mostly dealing in time-lapsed traditional art with mixed media. My YouTube channel is currently undergoing a rebranding, but most of my art can be found on Instagram under @pen.ink.artworks.

3. How long have you been creating for the fandom, and what’s your favorite part of the process? 

I had started creating for Miraculous in late 2020, starting with a one-shot based off of the song “Loyal, Brave, & True”. Something about these two precious, innocent dorks grabbed my attention and refused to let go. I started creating artwork for the fandom a few months later, learning digital art while creating some small graphics to be published in the Miraculous Fanworks Discord Server Newsletter. My favorite part of both processes is getting lost in a scene, usually while writing or reading, and then wanting to draw those scenes.

4. Has there been anything in particular that influences your style?

For writing, I’m usually inspired by music, as nearly all of my stories are songfics of some kind. Before the server had announced the “Spin The Record” challenge, I was already drawing up plans for writing “You Will Be Found”, which was my very first foray into writing a multi-chapter story. Other times, the story ideas that pop into my head are based on conversations held in the MF discord server, like my one-shot called “The Spice of Life”.

For drawing… I hate doing lineart. I will do everything in my power to not do lineart. If this means that I spend hours in shading hell to make a piece look good, then so be it. It’s infinitely better than the frustration that I get when doing lineart.

5. Do you have any advice you’d like to give to other creators?

Create what you can, wherever and whenever you can. As a full-time working mom, I try to sneak in some form of creating fanwork in-between working with customers, during lunch breaks, when the Kid is doing his homework, or I voice record story ideas as I drive home from work. Sometimes my husband will find me awake at 2 am trying to finish a story idea or a drawing (he works nights, so this does happen). Try not to ruin your sleep schedule, though, advises the insomniac. 

6. How do you think the identity reveal is going to go? Feel free to write/draw something quick if you want to!

“Ladybug,” Su-Han intoned gravely. “You’ve made a mistake. You know what the consequence is.”

Pure panic overcame her face before Chat turned towards the monk. “I promised her that I would help retrieve the Miraculous. That offer does not extend to you.”

“Kitty…”

“You do not have a choice, Chat Noir,” Su-Han declared. “You are a Miraculous holder, and according to the rules, you will help the Guardians retrieve them.”

“The only Guardian I acknowledge is her,” Chat growled. “I don’t know who you are. Ladybug is the only Guardian whom I have my faith and trust in. I will only be loyal to her.”

His words took the monk by surprise, even knowing that the holder of destruction was steadfast in his loyalty to Ladybug. 

He had not counted on this, though he should have known to expect the unexpected from these two. 

“Then I have no other choice,” Su-Han muttered just loud enough for the two teenagers to hear. “If this is how you choose to face this challenge, and to keep Ladybug’s memories intact, then you must do so without any secrets between yourselves.”

“Do you mean…?”

“Yes,” the monk replied. “You must reveal your identities to each other.”

You can find Day on Tumblr @day-writingdaydreams​, on Instagram as pen.ink.artworks, and on Archive of Our Own as WritingDaydreams. Some of her works include “As You Wish”, a Princess Bride AU; “You Will Be Found”, a work inspired by the musical Dear Evan Hansen; “The Spice of Life”, inspired by a conversation that took place on Miraculous Fanworks; a drawing inspired by Mikauzoran’s “Serendipity”; a drawing inspired by MiaBrown’s “pipe is what dreams are made of”; and a traditional piece depicting a Marichat version of the Adrinette dance.

Interested in being featured? Come join the server!

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous fanworks #fanfiction #fanart #creator spotlight

[amberduan-ual]

Interim Crit Project A (27/4/23)

I feel that I really had a breakthrough starting from Day 11 of my PleinAirpril paintings. I really made an effort to push and simplify the shapes I saw within the reference image, and I purposefully slanted the angles of the buildings to create more visual interest and personality. I feel really happy with the shapes of the clouds in the painting, and that sort of chunky, geometric shape carried itself through the rest of my paintings. I was also conscious of the composition of the drawing and eliminated some clouds that I felt weren't as necessary or detracted from the flow of the piece, which was a step further than just copying the reference image like I'd done before.

For Day 12, I followed along with Min Yum's Warrior Painters demo. This painting was also definitely a breakthrough painting for me, specifically in terms of color. Min really emphasized that it doesn't really matter what color you use, as long as you assign that color a role and it fulfills that specific role.

At first I was confused by this statement, but eventually I realized that this really holds true, especially for art that uses non-representational colors. I think one of my favorite examples of art that uses "wrong" colors very successfully is the art of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

The colors of the left cover are what the actual character is meant to look like. Even though the colors on the right cover are technically incorrect, Hirohiko Araki, the creator of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, uses them to great stylistic effect. The green color fulfills the role of the dark blue in his coat and hair, while the cyan blue becomes the color of the shirt.

Min Yum talked about how he introduces color variation into his artwork generally by jumping around the color wheel but sticking to a similar saturation level, which I found to be a really helpful tip. I experimented with that technique in painting the trees and grass, and found it to be really fun and natural feeling.

In Min's demo, he also introduced me to the idea of having a really crazy color for the underpainting/base, which I love! It's not as applicable to digital painting since the underpainting doesn't exactly show through the layers of paint, but I still found that having a bold base color to start with definitely influenced my color choices and the resulting feeling of the piece since it got me into that more bold and expressive mindset.

Another artist I look up to is Teddi Parker, who is a traditional acrylic painter and works in a very impressionist, expressive style.

She often uses a yellow or pink underpainting layer, which adds warmth to the overall piece and creates some fun peeks of colors. I love the look when bitspieces of the underpainting come through, since I think it adds a lot of contrast and visual flair to the final piece.

For the next two days, I definitely tried to apply that underpainting technique to my work and had a lot of fun pushing the colors to a higher saturation point. I was also trying to learn how to find a good balance between depicting detail and withholding it, creating areas of contrast and attention.

Day 15 was a pretty unique piece because I really abstracted the image I was referencing. The original photo was a very complicated, detail heavy forest environment and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to effectively capture all the elements without spending hours upon hours on the piece. So I decided that I would try to capture the feeling of light and shadow in the piece instead, distilling it to basically two values.

Beyond that, I approached the painting quite naturally, letting myself establish a shape language and pattern to use throughout the whole piece, and making sure that was present throughout the whole composition.

I have mixed feelings about Day 16's painting, since I wasn't very pleased with how I treated the shadow area of the cathedral, but I do like the contrast of purple and yellow that serve as the dark and light respectively. This piece was really challenging since there were so many details and elements of the cathedral, and I definitely struggled with what to keep and what to simplify.

One thing that I attempted to create in this piece was the effect of chromatic fringe. I'm not entirely sure if it's actually a formal technique, but I've seen a lot of artists use it in their art. Oftentimes, on the edge of a shadow, there will be a more saturated edge, which adds more life and color into the piece.

I think I ended up using the effect a bit haphazardly, but I do really like the look of it and want to try incorporating it into my art more in the future.

#independent-projects

[brennan42connor]

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[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

I can’t thank the chi saga/KHUX enough for being such a great instalment to an amazing series, for allowing me to meet so many wonderful people, for helping me grow as an artist and a writer, and for just being my anchor throughout these past 8 years.

It’s hard to have to say goodbye to something that changed my life. But I hope we can all be somewhat appeased by imagining our beloved key kids standing in Daybreak Town’s lighthouse park to bask in the sunset, and listen to Chirithy tell us: “You did good, kiddo.” 🌸

#khux #my art #roadie the key kid #one of my first true traditional-digital mixed pieces #and on god?? I actually drew a background AND chirithy decently? only the biggest Ws for khux #I love this game so much and I’m gonna miss it but I’ll probably still draw stuff for it esp after the final chapters #my posts #khux liveblogging

[dwlrmoon]

Astrological Analysis: I.M "Duality"

An astrological analysis of I.M's solo album "Duality" & how his astrological placements manifest through the songs. Changkyun said that he poured his entire soul into this album, so I thought it'll be really cool to dissect the songs in the astrological lens because I'm in love with his artistry.

REMINDER

Observed & analyzed through western tropical astrology; we are missing information due to lack of confirmed birth time, so I can only deliver using the traditional 7 planets (mainly the personal chart) without a house system.

DUALITY

Having the album entitled "Duality" with songs expressing this topic (esp. the title track) reminds me of his Aquarius placements, mainly the Sun. I.M has his Sun in detriment, meaning that his Sun is "weak" or uncomfortable in that sign. As the sister sign of Leo, Aquarius symbolizes celebrities, fame, the star in tarot, as well as hopes & dreams. Aquarius can represent notoriety & infamy while simultaneously having the stereotype of the loner or outsider, not wanting to be perceived or "understood."

Using traditional rulership, Aquarius is ruled by Saturn who also rules Capricorn. If Capricorn rules authorities & conformities, Aquarius is the rebellious younger sibling refusing to conform & rather revolt, deviating from the norm. I.M placed his artistry in precedence; convincing SSE to use God Damn as the title track despite the profanity requiring him to release this album digitally in addition to him creating the tracks in his own style that may or may not be in line with k-pop or Monsta X.

GOD DAMN

In true I.M fashion the song & MV are very concupiscent, & since I already talked about the duality that is expressed through this song, let's talk about the MV specifically. Pisces rules escapism & addiction & his Pisces Venus was very on brand to go with alcohol as the imagery of getting high to hide from his frustrations. This piece is highly self-reflective & he encourages listeners to read between the lines, it's quite Saturnian in nature. I also love how the lyrics have that duality of hating & loving whoever/whatever that is ruining/comforting him—I really associate this with his Martian Moon (him assigning Misbehave as the song that represents him is so... Aries Moon).

HOWLIN'

No more taming 'bout my color I swing 'till I get, what’s the problem? Problem I ain't follow simply what I see I go follow what I need 'Cause I see that I'm loyal Imma go on my speed, even I'm slow

The 1st verse reminds me a lot of his Saturnian + Martian energy—no more wanting to be someone he's not, doing his own thing without care of what others may think. However, the last 2 lines really highlight the fixed modality of his Aquarius: I love that he says he's loyal even if he goes on his speed which can be slow; he doesn't care as long as he gets there.

I don't celebrate 'till I make it till the end Ain't time for the 'hol up' You want me be a shade but I'm made for a big wave Ain't time for the 'hol up'

This song has a lot of Saturnian themes esp. the chorus. It reminds us that Saturn rules time—he doesn't succumb to the challenges & distractions or "hold ups," rather focusing on his goal & only celebrating once he reaches the mountaintop. Saturn is karmic, it takes its sweet time to give you your rewards that you must work laboriously for. He knows he's made for something bigger (Aquarius), & with his perseverance (fixed), determination & passion (Aquarius Mars + Aries Moon), he will be rewarded despite all the struggles (Saturn).

Don't call me, I'm drivin' I just wanna keep on ballin’ Even though when you are hatin’ Woah Grab me when I'm fallin’ 'Cause I make myself so lonely You know that I'm howlin'

However, Saturn can be extremely isolating & Aquarius is akin to the underdog. Of course we don't know where his placements are, but his Pisces Venus contributes to that isolation. He feels lonely & he knows that, but he inevitable makes himself lonely which Aquarius natives can do when they develop that mentality of me v.s. the world sometimes. Keep in mind that Aquarius rules community yet the outsider, showcasing that wanting to be alone while wanting someone to be there for him. Saturn is burden & he's a lone wolf used to being alone carrying all that burden himself.

BURN

The night has become cold and now it's a meaningless fight I don't wanna waste my time on the past time Endless shot, let me head to the top I don't wanna waste my time on the past time Burn the accumulated emotions, burn Burn everything without leaving anything, burn

An Aries Moon anthem? I find that Aries placements love having fire/burning imagery if not in their songs then in their MVs. Aries is Martian, cardinal & fire by nature, which means that Aries Moons may get irritated fairly quickly—a quick temper? But they get over it super quickly, kind of like blowing off steam & then letting it go right after. The Moon rules our emotions, & I think the lyrics speak for itself here. The allusion to the fight is very Martian as well.

I'm mixed and complex, yeah I don't know myself well, eh Yesterday I couldn't empty it out, yeah I'd rather burn it, yeah The tears that fell are oil Make the flame burn higher Pour it out, no more regrets Burn it all up and high, yeah

I really enjoy I.M's introspective & intrapersonal nature; he always says he doesn't know himself well & accepts that rather than fighting it. He accepts all facets of himself, & that's very refreshing. The 2nd verse made me chuckle a little bit because the first 2 lines look Aquarius while the rest is Aries. Not to mention he has an Aquarius Mars conjunct Sun, so, more Martian energy there. Cardinal + Martian give me that attitude he portrays very well in this song—throw some more oil, let it burn more so that there'll be no regrets. Another Aries placement who wrote something like this? Yoongi.

HAPPY TO DIE

I could die right now, yeah I can never lie, yeah You bring me to sky Let me be yours till I die When you say goodbye, yeah Bury me on your heart, yeah Don't you say that word Could you keep it till I die? You brought me back to the real love I wanna get lost here forever

There is so much to unpack in this little song... The chorus is a mixture of Saturnian commitment & Aries headstrong, passionate reckless energy motivated by his romanticist Pisces Venus. The title itself, the whole concept of this song, is fundamentally Pisces (his DSC would be really cool to talk about here, if we had the birth time, but we don't, so).

We're childish like we were when we used to play back then I let go of rationality as if I'm drawn by the wind I don't know what this feeling is Even if I try to pretend I don't know, everything seems to be obvious, yeah I don't know, I like it the way it is I don't know me well, I don't know I guess it's not a lie that I really like you I'm happy to die right now

Verse 1 truly has my heart in a grip. He has a rational & intellectually-minded Saturnian Mercury & Sun, yet once he's in love he gets enamoured & childish, rendered completely irrational. It's giving me Aries meets Pisces—of the moment, idealistic, just overwhelming emotions taking control of his Saturnian mind, which I find funny because he has Moon square Mercury.

Things of mine might go away and shape Will just change, but don't you change When I'm low, could you make me not alone? I could die right now if we were just this crazy about each other

Pisces is sentimental & can represent past lives, that feeling of being stuck in the past? Pisces Venus is visionary & idealistic, they're more in love with the idea of love than love itself sometimes. Here we see that theme of isolation again, his Aquarius could play a role here, but his Pisces placements are also desperate to be loved. The last line, like said before, is utterly Pisces because Romeo & Juliet is known to be a Pisces type of relationship, plus with that Aries Moon... it just makes sense since Aries Moons love the rush & passion.

시든 꽃 FLOWER-ED

Somehow I have no strength to resist I stay right where I am It's not like I'm longing for someone But I'm standing there

Personally loving how his songs gradually grow more & more Piscean? The overwhelming emotion of yearning with no one to long for is so Pisces/Jupiterian Venus in general. Like I said, they're idealistic & in love with the idea of love more than anything—not the happy kind of love either. I notice that Jupiterian Venuses play with the theme of wanting a lot, mainly because they are ruled by the planet of expansion. Distance is a huge theme in Jupiterian signs, & they idealize that.

When you step on me like it's nothing I desperately want you to come back and hug mе I deeply remember your smilе that laughed at me While I was being illuminated by you

Because Pisces placements love the idea of love & the feeling of longing for someone they can get into the habit of sacrificing themselves, hence their association with the hanged man in tarot. They are too focused on the fantasy of love to take off their rose tinted glasses.

I don't really blame you I know your days by my side Have faded away Please don't disappear, oh

The hand that held me, the eyes that captured me are all blind The scattered hands, the shining eyes are gone

I don't know what else to say here, like, I think you guys understand how these verses really depicts his Pisces Venus very well... With a Venus conjunct Saturn it can really emphasize isolation & rejection as well—this aspect feels like they are deprived of love, so they crave it desperately even if it hurts them which is a theme of Pisces. Him titling this track "withered flower" in Korean is so Pisces Venus of him overall.

#i.m #changkyun #im changkyun #monsta x #kpop astrology #monsta x astrology #changkyun scenarios #monsta x scenarios

[astringofmadhousefloozies]

Birthday Sequence

Three friends have their birthday in a month of each other, and the parties get progressively more interesting. Content warnings for coarse language, offscreen sexuality, underage drinking and the consequences thereof.

As always, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, let me know if you enjoyed reading, and if you want to chat or ask a question, my askbox is open.

~*~*~*~

"You look great."

Idia made a whine you were certain they could hear in Savannahclaw and put his face in his hands. "Why did no one tell me about the birthday event?"

"I dunno, because we'd all assumed you'd seen everyone else put on the prissy little birthday boy suit and dance around like an idiot while I did an interview, and realized you weren't exempt."

"But why didn't you make Crowley skip me?" He looked ready to cry, so you you got up on tiptoes to kiss his nose and dry his tears, which simply had the opposite effect.

"Because maybe I wanted to see you dressed up pretty for a change?"

He just groaned. "Wasn't the festival enough?"

"Never enough; not with you. I'll make sure me and Ortho are your bodyguards, okay? Now, get out there and pretend they're all in their underwear. I got a present on the table for you. And..."

"And?"

"If you're truly overwhelmed, I'll bring you back here to hide, and get you out of the monkey suit myself."

It took him three seconds to turn a truly absurd shade of pink, and flee out the door of his room. The only thing scarier than a crowd where you're the center of attention is a lover who's relentless in voicing her attraction, if you're a neurotic dweeb with a molten core of self-hatred.

~*~*~*~

He'd relaxed somewhat as the presents went on. After checking with each person if they'd rather he open it now or in private (shuddering every time someone said now, in fear of bad reactions), he'd so far wound up with a super mega deluxe vinyl release of the Moirai's most recent album (despite not owning a record player, but it came with the digital album and lots of feelers so he still liked it very much), piles of sweets, and wouldn't have to pay for the subscriptions on most of his game for at least two years. And, he still had a pile to go through.

"Who's this one?"

"That's me. Go ahead."

He lifted the lid off the box, and took out a little creature, a sofubi toy of transluscent grey plastic painted with pearly stripes and shiny green eyes. "I've never seen this Nyarochi before." He turned it this way and that, a small smile on his lips. "Where'd you get this?"

"I got it blank at that second hand shop you showed me."

"... Blank." You could see the gears turning.

"Why do you think I asked to borrow your airbrush?"

Turning, turning... there we go. "You did this?"

"Yeah, dude. One of a kind, just for you."

He looked back and forth between you and the toy, smile growing. Once finally settled on you, he lit up - literally; his hair let out a bright, sparking burst that left spots in your eyes. You think he might have said thank you, you were too busy reeling from the sweetness of his expression, all directed at you, and little Nyarochi was tucked in his jacket pocket until he finally left for his room, you in tow.

~*~*~*~

"Hey Sam."

"Hey, Yuu. What can I get for you this fine day?"

"I got a list. I'm making something for Lilia. Did you know he's a new year's baby?"

"I did!" Sam scanned the list, only to set it down and raise an eyebrow at you. "I have much of this, and can order almost all the rest. You do know I'm not allowed to sell alcohol to a minor."

"It ain't for me, though. Do you know where I can get it?"

He shuffled around in a drawer before sliding a card across the table. "In Stock Now! The solution to your problem."

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow. "Sam. Does Crowley know you're selling fake IDs?" Your turned it over. "Really, really good fake IDs?"

"Crowley lets me do what I want, because I might stop doing what he wants."

You laughed. "Gross. Alright, I don't know the price, but can I get a discount if I help you stock a few weekends?"

"I'll do layaway just for you, if you come in next week."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu!" Lilia leapt at you, and you swung him around in a hug. "It's so great to have you here! Where's my loot?"

"I got to finish it, let me go a minute."

He did, and watched with interest as you set up from your cooler. You ran a lime around the rim of a glass, and crust it with red salt before filling it with ice.

"Yuuuuuuu. My little darling. You know I'm too young to drink."

"No you're not, dude. it's an open secret, like what happens in that shed behind the gym stays there and you don't get admitted to NRC if you're completely heterosexual." You added the mix to the glass, before tossing in a celery stick and sliding it over to him.

He barked out a laugh and took the glass. "That's true all right." He sipped at it and smiled. "What is it?"

"At home they call it a Caesar. I made up a shitton and I'm leaving you with the recipe, which you have to follow. I figure you liked your tomato juice, so..."

"It is just my taste. Thank you." You'd only blinked, and he'd already finished it and slid the glass back. "More, please."

~*~*~*~

You'd learned two things tonight, of which you'd only dimly suspected one. The first was that Lilia could probably drink the entire school under the table, staff and ghosts included. The second, far more interesting thing, was that when tipsy, Lil talked about his past, and in his past, he truly redefined the meaning of "absolute slut".

Looking like a particularly cute teenybopper had not stopped him from fucking his way through most of the Court of Thorns, and a great deal of the places he'd visited, in ways both inventive and more than occasionally disturbing. You really, really ought to stop him; poor Mal was standing out on the balcony with his fingers in his ears, singing very loudly to drown out the noise, but you were too busy taking notes. Kalim was listening to his fellow Light Music Club member in awe, and Cater had been recording for the past forty five minutes, though you were pretty sure if he uploaded any of this his Magicam account would get permabanned for pornographic content.

"And that's when his sister - fabulous woman, cunt like a ripe fig and she'd start giggling every time you..." he stopped and swirled his empty glass. "Where'd my drink go?"

"You drank it all, dear. There's none left."

"Aww. Why'd I have to share it all." He set his glass down and plucked the half-full one from in front of Silver's sleeping form. "Hey, did I ever tell you what I got up to with his," nodding out towards Malleus,"his grandmother?"

You never found out, as Mal simply bodied him clean across the room before any more could be said.

~*~*~*~

"Vil."

"What."

"Can I borrow your lab equipment?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Why."

"I wanna make perfume."

He brightened. "Finally decided to stop smelling like a haunted house?"

"Vil, I actually pay real money for perfume that smells like a haunted house. I have multiple. Sometimes I layer them, to mix with the natural scent of the haunted house I already live in. And it's not for me, though if this works I might try to make stuff for myself."

He wrinkled his nose at you, somehow not creasing his makeup. "Why should I help you?"

You thought about it, and then shrugged. "Well. Why not?"

"... I hate that I can't argue with that. Come on."

~*~*~*~

You have no idea if the party was sedate because of the relatively few people outside of Diasomnia, or because everyone was scared of potential etiquette breaches. You could not complain either way; parties wore on you as they went on and Idia hadn't tried to leave in fear. Either way, Mal was starting to go from blandly cheerful host to fretful.

"What if there is too much cake? I don't wan't to have to finish it."

"You don't have to, dude. Cake's for sharing."

"When I was young, I was the only person at my party who wasn't a servant. So I would end up eating the entire cake by myself, every time." He stared off into the middle distance. "I don't really like cake."

"That's the single saddest thing I have ever heard in my entire life, holy shit dude."

"Why have a cake then, if you don't like it?" Idia was halfway through his piece. Third piece, actually. You envied his capacity to eat what seemed like his weight in buttercreme and not get nauseous, even if you worried for his pancreas.

"Tradition," Mal said, as if he was explaining the most obvious thing in the world.

"You should have done an ice cream cake, then. You actually like that."

"That is an option?" He paused, eyes full of wonder. "What else can be ice cream?"

You cut in before Malleus could continue down a road of ice-cream-everything. "You know, if you're that worried about leftovers, why not send a wrapped slice with the thank you cards for the gifts? Gets rid of it all so you won't be compelled to eat it ‘til you're sick."

Mal instantly grabbed you. "You are a brilliant, amazing, genius of a person. I'm glad you're my Son of Man and I like you very much."

Idia gave the tinest of coughs, looking towards the poison-coloured flames in the fireplace.

"You are mine too. I like the special case for my Dragon-Kun very much."

"Thought you would." He smiled down at his plate.

"Oh, shit, yeah. Here's mine." You brought the bag out from behind your seat and handed it over; Mal shredding it in his excitement.

"... What is this?" the box inside revealed a set of five amber bottles with screw-on tops.

"Your own special perfume blend. Rose petals from the Heartslabyul garden, blackberries, and the fruit of a blackthorn tree." You leaned back in your seat and struggled not to laugh at your own hideous pun. "I call it Feeling Thorny."

Good thing the box was well padded, because he dropped it in his laughter. Idia, bless his heart, wound up choking on some of the cake and needed an entire glass of water to stop coughing.

"I got the goods!" Lilia and Sebek had returned, the latter glowering at you over the top of a dusty crate as though he'd assumed you'd simply eat his precious prince alive the second his back was turned.

"What's the goods, Lil."

"Well, he's got friends he made here for this party, so I figured I'd crack something open from my stash." He pried the top of the crate with his bare hands, which would have made you need to sit down if you hadn't been already. "Saving this for a special occasion."

"Lilia, there's no need to bring that out for us."

"Nonsense! You deserve it! And this party's too damned slow. A little wine will be just the thing, and this is very light stuff, you'll all be fine."

You doubted that, but still accepted the glass of liquid gold when offered. It smelled sweet and floral, and to your pleasant surprise, did not taste like fermented misery when sipped.

Wait a minute.

"Lil, if I drink the fairy wine, I don't have to go live in the Valley of Thorns forever, do I?"

Malleus, seizing opportunity, sad "Yes" at the same time Lilia said "No" and Lil elbowed Mal in the ribs for it. "I'm not invoking any of our more traditional rules of hospitality. If I must," he said, elbowing Mal again before he could try to weave anything, "Let this be in return for being such wonderful friends to both me and my boy."

"I'll accept it." You sipped more as Silver wandered over and leaned over Idia for a glass himself. Idia simply drained his own to try and distract himself from the proximity of him before the anxiety kicked into high gear. Maybe it would vanish entirely if you got him profoundly drunk, you thought to yourself, but that wasn't something you wanted to try. He had enough issues without his deciding alcoholism was the solution to his problems.

Time to settle down and enjoy the evening. The wine didn't feel like anything, so what could possibly happen?

~*~*~*~

You woke up with a pounding head, your party clothes in disarray, and new and interesting pains. You examined yourself and your surroundings, and let things come back naturally.

Lilia, being very generous with his bottles, to the point of not letting a glass go empty at any point. Malleus sitting with his legs crossed and head in his hands, gazing warmly and not without hunger at a both very animated and disheveled Idia as he talked. You getting up to leave, and sitting right back down because your legs didn't work, so you'd simply...

Simply wound up here in Mal's bed, instead of home. With both of your boys.

The evidence wasn't the best. No telltale soreness, but you had a number of new and interesting bite marks, including one very high on your inner thigh with the dentition clearly showing fangs. Your underwear was in place, even if the tule of your pannier was shredded, so you didn't think you'd done anything more than very heavy petting. And to tell the truth? The idea of having done anything more didn't bother you - truly, there weren't other people you'd rather have done it with - but the idea that you had? And you couldn't recall all the fun details? Agonizing.

You leaned over, holding your head, to brush the hair off of Mal's face. He looked at ease, and had managed to slot himself into his weird pillows, so at least he wouldn't wake up with a crick in his neck.. You checked your boyfriend, clinging to Mal's far side like a lanky blue limpet. On his collarbone, at the spot where you preferred to leave your own marks, was a bite similar to the one on your leg. You had to turn away at the sight; the images it brought to your mind left your flushed and dizzy with want despite your pain. How fun, to learn new and interesting things about yourself.

Idia stirred and sat up. He looked to you, to Mal, to you again. His face had no expression beyond starting to turn rapidly grey and sweaty.

You pointed. "That door."

He nodded once before stumbling off to bed and through the bathroom door, to puke away his hangover.

Alright, next step. You poked at your sleeping friend. "Mal. You alive?"

He opened both eyes, bloodshot with a hair-thin pupil, and started making a noise akin to a base boosted tea kettle up 'til you placed a pillow over his head to shut him up. Fortunately, it worked immediately, he lay where he was like an idiot until adjusting it so the pillow merely blocked the top of his face.

"Yuu. How are you feeling?"

You thought about it. "Like I got run through a laundry press. You?"

He smacked his lips and ran his tongue over his teeth. "My mouth has grown fur."

"Wonderful."

"Light hurts."

"Par for the course."

"I'm not sure what else yet. Where is Shroud?"

Another bout of heaving from Malleus's bathroom answered that thoroughly.

Mal pouted. "Poor thing. He didn't even have that much."

"We all had enough. I'm still remembering bits and pieces."

He reached towards you and grabbed your arm, squeezing. "You are... you..." As much as he struggled for the words, the anxiety in his voice made the meaning clear enough.

"I'm not upset over any of it. I just hate that I don't recall it clearly yet." You extracted your arm from his grasp, and slid off the bed. "I'm gonna get water from the hall bathroom. You want any?"

He smacked his lips again, and smiled, wider than you'd ever seen him do before, specks of blood still crusted in the grooves of his teeth. "I can still taste you on my tongue. I never want it to fade."

"Hhhhhholy shit you need water. Bye." You left to try and hide the wobbling in your legs that wasn't from the hangover.

~*~*~*~

"You."

You stopped, and stared. It took an entire four seconds to realize that the large, half-dressed green bean glaring at you from the doorway was Sebek before he styled his hair in the morning. "You mean like, my name, or just me in general?"

He pointed a finger, hissing out his words. "You finally did it! You evil little minx."

"I didn't, actually, or at least not what you think."

He kept going, trying to keep his voice down. "You've seduced Lord Malleus! And now you're going to try and steal the crown."

What in the actual fuck. And he wasn't done yet. "You cruel temptress! Leading him on just so that you could become a queen our people would detest! My poor lord, at the whims of some-"

"Hey, you jealous there, Zig? You mad you aren't serving him all ways? If you want his dick so bad-"

"Shhhhhhhhh!" He looked over his shoulder, back inside, before glaring back at you. "I couldn't do that in good conscience! Lord Malleus deserves someone who holds only him in their heart. He's not my whole heart, so I wouldn't try. You, you have damn near everyone here wrapped around your fingers! And it's still not enough for you!"

"Sebek! He is my friend. And I give zero fucks about the whole throne thing, just so you know. Why would I want to be a queen? That shit sounds exhausting. And he isn't going to ascend until my great grandkids are in the dirt, so, yanno, shit planning if I tried."

Sebek was trying to think of a rebuttal when a pair of hands squeezed him from behind. "Stop yelling. I'm going to brush my teeth." Silver let go and circled around, dragging his hand along Sebek's waist as he did. "Be ready when I'm back." With that, he walked past you with his small smirk to the bathroom you'd just exited, wearing nothing but one of Sebek's shirts.

You watched the hemline skirting the back of his thighs with entirely too much interest before looking back at Sebek. "God damn, dude."

"Say anything else and I will throw you out the window."

~*~*~*~

Mal had traded his bed for sitting on the floor, braced against the wall by the bathroom. He'd managed to close the drapes against the garish light of morning, and the sounds from beyond the wall had changed from sickness to a running shower as you gave Mal a cup. "Drink up, asshole."

"How am I an asshole?"

"Because it's your birthday we all got drunk at."

"Please blame Lilia for that. Fairy wine is not something humans should start the evening with." He sipped the water and grimaced.

"Taste bad?"

"I forgot I didn't want to put anything else in my mouth after you."

"Mal, no. There won't be a repeat, even if I don't really regret it."

He looked at you with heart about to break. "Why not?"

"It's not fair to either of you! I love you dearly, but I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with him." You sighed. Even as more of last night came back, you realized you may have broken the whole thing beyond repair. "And how would you like it if you saw me running around with someone else? Don't say you wouldn't be jealous. You've got a five mile streak of it."

Mal was silent, before saying very quietly, "I don't mind so much after having him too."

"Yeah, well." You put your head in your hands. "You're sure he didn't jump out the window to hide in his room forever after that?"

Mal knocked againt the door, wincing at the noise. "Idia? You are present? You're alive in there?"

A few moments before that shaky reply of "I'm not sure, check in five minutes."

Mal smiled. "That's promising, is it not?"

"You know I can hear you out there, right?"

"I didn't."

"I can." More silence. "Also, the window doesn't open."

You quirked your mouth. "Is the shower helping? I might need a turn."

"Some."

"Do you want to talk about last night?"

More silence, before a small, "Not yet," as the shower shut off. "Can I borrow a robe? My clothes are wet."

"Go ahead, Idia."

He exited in a cloud of steam and purple-black terrycloth, and simply laid down on the floor, gripping it as if he would fly off.

"Still bad?"

He noded, cheek pressed against the floor. Fresh from the water, his hair was low enough that you could make out the actual hair on his head, each glowing like the finest fiber optic thread.

"Well. I don't think any of us are going to class today. So stay as long as you need to."

"Thank god, I don't want to try those damned stairs until my head's on right." You thought to yourself for a moment. "Is Ortho okay?"

Idia actually managed a smile. "I told him I was thinking of staying over and trying to activate event flags."

It took you a moment to understand the implications of that. "Noooo. This was not your idea."

"Mal wasn't. But. Ummmmm." He held up a hand and wiggled it. "He was there?"

"Your boyfriend is interestingly pliable when someone puts their mouth on him. A trait you both share, actually."

You felt ready to burst into flames. This could not be happening. "So who's idea was you getting under my skirts, Mal? That bruise is going to last weeks."

"Yours, actually. You wouldn't let go of my horns until you were satisfied."

The memory of that, and more, hit you like a transport truck, and you simply laid down and refused to say anything until Lilia burst in, disgustingly chipper and with a platter of burnt toast to chew on until the worst of the hangover was gone.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fanfiction #idia shroud #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia

[passionate-reply]

This time on Great Albums, I talk about an album that actually isn’t older than I am for a change! Enter the spooky, haunted forest of The Knife with me, and find out why it was Pitchfork’s Album of the Year in 2006! Full transcript after the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be tackling an album that’s more recent than anything I’ve done on Great Albums before, but it’s still old enough to start being considered a classic: The Knife’s Silent Shout, released in 2006, and hence seeing its fifteenth birthday in 2021. Silent Shout is a bit special to me, insofar as it was an album I loved as a teenager, back when it was still pretty new, and it was probably the first album I really fell in love with that wasn’t significantly older than I was. I was quite surprised when I eventually learned just how beloved Silent Shout is among music aficionados. This album has been lauded in critical circles, recommended as a “patrician” essential, and even considered one of the greatest electronic albums of all time! So, what’s the fuss about?

Before Silent Shout, The Knife were significantly closer to a conventional electronic pop duo. Their biggest claim to fame was the track “Heartbeats,” which scored some exposure after a cover of it was featured in a TV ad.

Music: “Heartbeats”

I like to think that “Heartbeats” contains the seeds of what’s great about Silent Shout, with its grinding synth backing and vocalist Karin Dreijer’s affecting wail. But its indie-pop brightness is something distinctively absent from their follow-up. Contrary to what might’ve been expected from an up-and-coming pop act, the sibling duo hunkered down in the studio and set about making something stranger and more exotic. On the technical front, they stripped the production down to its bare essentials, using just digital rhythms and two synthesisers to achieve everything we hear on the album. Stylistically, they took their sound into moody, atmospheric territory, imbuing it with this eerie, claustrophobic ambiance. It’s the musical equivalent of Frankenstein emerging from Mary Shelley’s mind, while the dreary “Year Without a Summer” had poisoned the world around her.

Music: “Silent Shout”

The title track here is also the opener, and introduces us to the frightful world of Silent Shout without mercy. This track is dominated by a powerful contrast of sound: low, thrumming bass, and these quick, but delicate and meandering synth arpeggios, carrying a distinctively Scandinavian flair. This bewitching synthesis of musical ideas makes sense in light of the diverse influences of the two siblings who made up The Knife: Instrumentalist Olaf Dreijer was strongly influenced by dance styles like house, trance, and progressive techno, as well as ambient electronic music, whereas vocalist Karin Dreijer was interested in guitar-based popular music, as well as the distinctive folk traditions of their native Sweden. Not unlike the Pet Shop Boys, they’ve got a wide gap between their influences, but that only serves to intensify the uniqueness of their work, which strikes listeners in a way the constituent musical parts of its heritage never could. Perhaps the most significant sonic feature of the album, though, is the extreme electronic distortions of Karin Dreijer’s voice.

Music: “One Hit”

If raw and everymannish vocals make music feel more in line with our everyday reality, the shocking and monstrous ones on *Silent Shout* render it a truly otherworldly work of art. While many people are quick to decry the “fakeness” of electronically mediated vocals--despite the fact that all art is, of course, artificial--I think Silent Shout proves, more boldly than anything else, just how uniquely powerful this musical tool can be in the right hands. Once you get past the sheer sonic force of the vocals, and their peculiar, skin-crawling timbres, you’ll find that most of the lyrical subject matter is actually painfully quotidian. “One Hit,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an all-too-normal “monster”: a domestic abuser, extracting and enforcing femininity and domestic servitude through the force of violence, dealing in “one hit, one kiss.” Sex, gender, and exploitation based upon them are among the album’s most central themes, and expressed harrowingly on tracks like “Na Na Na”:

Music: “Na Na Na”

Perhaps moreso than any other track on the album, “Na Na Na” is rendered borderline incomprehensible by vocal treatment--a trait magnified by its obviously meaningless title and chorus. But “Na Na Na” does have real lyrics, which tell the story of a life mediated by reproductive anatomy, defined by the rhythm of menstruation, coming from within, and the constant fear of sexual violence from without. It’s a tale of hidden anxiety, and experiences that go unseen and unspoken despite how common they are, making the haze of inscrutability laid over them all the more poignant. It’s clear that these issues are of high importance to Karin Dreijer, who has publicly described themself as “genderqueer,” despite both members of the band being remarkably sparing with all personal details. In another of the most striking vocal performances on the album, “We Share Our Mother’s Health,” Dreijer even gets to sing a duet with themself, and embody two distinct characters at once.

Music: “We Share Our Mother’s Health”

“We Share Our Mother’s Health” can be read in the light of gender and sex dynamics, as well, particularly if you’re willing to read its twin narrators as representations of masculinity and femininity. Personally, though, I think that’s a bit too easy, and really, a bit too cisnormative. I think the album is more interesting if we embrace the fundamental uncertainty of identity, and the transgressive queerness of it all. That said, I prefer to think of “We Share Our Mother’s Health” as a piece about capitalism--the endless toiling and scrounging for more material comfort and security, and the emptiness left behind when that proves to be no pathway towards true happiness. Besides, it’s not like sexism and the class struggle don’t feed off of each other in the end. This track’s sense of cacophony, with voices nearly battling to drown each other out, shows its more strident, aggressive, and downright angry side, which it delivers as powerfully as it does those moody atmospheres.

Silent Shout is the perfect title for this album, given its emphasis on voicing internal and private laments that go unheard--and voicing them with this terrifying sense of primal scream catharsis. While I initially wasn’t overly fond of the album art, it’s grown on me a bit now that I’ve seen it blown up to a larger size. This central disc shape is certainly evocative of a record or a CD, and its industrial-looking lattice structure, with a mottled, grimey-looking texture, helps conjure the impression of machine-age ennui.

I think a lot of the enduring appeal of Silent Shout is its sense of mystery. A lot of that mystery is deliberately crafted iconoclasm, and part of the art--while promoting the album, The Knife were photographed wearing sinister, elaborate beaked “plague doctor” masks, and their live performances from this period shrouded the band in darkness to obfuscate their appearances. They’ve refused to accept awards for their music or attend award ceremonies, including one memorable incident in which they sent costumed representatives of feminist organisation Guerrilla Girls in their stead. After Silent Shout, the duo created an opera based on Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species in 2009, and released one more studio album in 2013: Shaking the Habitual.

Music: “A Tooth For an Eye”

Shaking the Habitual received mixed reviews, and so far, has proven to be the siblings’ final work together, though they remain active as musicians independently, with Karin Dreijer recording under the moniker “Fever Ray.” Part of the great myth of Silent Shout is the fact that nothing else in their discography really quite approaches its specific sound, and sharp precision of conceptual focus. It’s like the album is tailor made to stand perfectly alone, outside of context, perhaps even outside of genre.

For many of us, this great legend of lightning-in-a-bottle genius is infinitely alluring. But I’ve never really bought into it too thoroughly myself. I obviously adore Silent Shout, and I think it’s a Great Album. But, unlike many people who have showered it with praise, often claiming that they don’t enjoy “electronic music” overall, I’ve always been interested in a lot of heavy, angry, creepy synthesiser-based music, and so I never thought too much of listening to this and liking it. People praise Silent Shout for being unlike anything else, but I think it sounds like a lot of post-industrial dark wave, like Attrition or Chris & Cosey, and its themes of feminist rage feel like a strong parallel to that of more recent stars of noise music such as Pharmakon and Lingua Ignota. But that’s not to devalue what Silent Shout does achieve! I think it *is* a unique album...in the way that a bat is a unique animal. Much as bats are not the only creatures who fly, but stand out for having developed that ability despite their mammalian heritage, Silent Shout doesn’t actually take direct inspiration from the earlier music it sounds the most like. It ended up there through the aforementioned eldritch alchemy, combining trance and folk and Kate Bush to get something new. That’s still something worth celebrating! Silent Shout needn’t be a perfect enigma to be a stirring masterpiece of an album.

My overall top track on Silent Shout, which I bet will be a popular choice, is “Forest Families.” It’s equal parts bleak and strangely anthemic, defined by both the unease of adapting to a plainer and harsher existence, outside the bounds of society, as well as the release that music itself provides to so many of us as we seek comfort. Since music is so important to me, I’m a real sucker for music about the importance of music, and it feels particularly well-placed on an album that’s a cathartic listen in so many ways. That about wraps this one up; thank you for watching!

Music: “Forest Families”

#music #great albums #album review #album reviews #the knife #fever ray #silent shout

[ducktastic]

2020 Gameological Awards

Over on the Gameological Discord, we have an annual tradition of writing up our games of the year not as a ranked list but rather as answers to a series of prompts. Here are my personal choices for the year that was 2020.

Favorite Game of the Year

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked into Paradise Killer. I knew that I liked the vaporwave resort aesthetic from the game’s trailer and figured I was in for a Danganronpa-style murder mystery visual novel with an open-ended murder mystery at its core. Those assumptions were… half-right? The game definitely plays out like the exploration bits of Danganronpa set on the island from Myst but with far simpler puzzles. What I didn’t expect was to fall so deeply in love with the environment—its nooks and crannies, its millennia of lore, its brutalist overlap of idol worship, consumerism, and mass slaughter. It makes sense that the world of Paradise Killer is its strongest feature, since the cast of NPCs don’t really move around, leaving you alone with the world for the overwhelming majority of your experience as you bounce back and forth between digging around for clues and interrogating potential witnesses. And despite what the promo materials indicated, there IS a definitive solution to the crimes you’re brought in to investigate, the game just lets you make judgment based on whatever evidence you have at the time you’re ready to call it a day, so if you’re missing crucial evidence you might just make a compelling enough case for the wrong person and condemn them to eternal nonexistence. Am I happy with the truth at the end of the day? No, and neither is anybody else I’ve spoken to who completed the game, but we all were also completely enthralled the entire time and our dissatisfaction has less to do with the game and more to do with the ugly reality of humanity. I’ve always been of the mindset that “spoilers” are absolute garbage and that a story should be just as good whether you know the twist or not and any story that relies on surprising the audience with an unexpected reveal is not actually that good a story, but Paradise Killer is a game about piecing together your own version of events so I feel that it’s vital to the gameplay experience that people go in knowing as little as possible and gush all about it afterwards. Just trust me, if the game looks even remotely intriguing to you, go for it. I’ve had just as much fun talking about the game after I finished it with friends just getting started as I did actually solving its mysteries myself.

Best Single Player Game

I honestly missed out on the buzz for In Other Waters at launch, so I’m happy I had friends online talking it up as Black Friday sales were coming along. The minimal aesthetic of his underwater exploration game allows the focus to shift more naturally to the game’s stellar writing as a lone scientist goes off in search of her mentor and the secrets they were hiding on an alien world. It only took a few hours for me to become completely absorbed in this narrative and keep pushing forward into increasingly dangerous waters. In Other Waters might just be the best sci-fi story I experienced all year and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys sci-fi novels, regardless of their experience with video games.

Best Multiplayer Game

Look, we all know this year sucked. 2020 will absolutely be chronicled in history books as a fascinating and deeply depressing time in modern history where we all stayed inside by ourselves and missed our friends and family. It was lonely and it was bleak. Which is why it made my heart glow so much more warmly every time I got a letter from an honest-to-goodness real-life friend in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Knowing that they were playing the same game I was and hearing about their experiences and sending each other wacky hats or furniture, it lightened the days and made us feel that little bit more connected. Sure, when the game first launched we would actually take the time to visit one another’s islands, hang out, chat in real-time, and exchange gifts, but we all eventually got busy with Zoom calls, sourdough starters, and watching Birds of Prey twenty-two times. Still, sending letters was enough. It was and still is a touching little way to show that we’re here for one another, if not at the exact same time.

Favorite Ongoing Game

Zach Gage is one of my favorite game designers right now, and when I heard he was releasing a game called Good Sudoku I was sold sight unseen. The game as released was… fine. It’s sudoku and it’s pleasant, but it was also buggy and overheated my phone in a way I hadn’t seen since Ridiculous Fishing (also by Zach Gage) seven years ago. Thankfully, the most glaring bugs have been fixed and I can now enjoy popping in every day for some quick logic puzzle goodness. Daily ranked leaderboards keep me coming back again and again, the steady ramp of difficulty in the arcade and eternal modes means I can always chase the next dopamine rush of solving increasingly complex puzzles. It’s not a traditional “ongoing” game the way, say, Fortnite and Destiny are, but I’m happy to come back every day for sudoku goodness.

Didn't Click For Me

With Fortnite progressively losing me over the course of 2020, finalizing with my wholesale “never again” stance after Epic boss Tim Sweeney compared Fortnite demanding more money from Apple to the American Civil Rights movement (no, absolutely not), I dipped my toe into a number of new “battle pass”-style online arena types of games, and while Genshin Impact eventually got its hooks into me, Spellbreak absolutely did not. With graphics straight out of The Dragon Prince and the promise of a wide variety of magic combat skills to make your character your own, the game seemed awfully tempting, but my first few experiences were aimless and joyless, with no moment of clarity to make me understand why I should keep coming back. Maybe they’ll finesse the game some more in 2021, or a bunch of my friends will get hooked and lure me back, but for now I am a-okay deleting this waste of space on my Switch and PC.

"Oh Yeah, I Did Play That Didn't I?"

I remember being really excited for Murder By Numbers. Ace Attorney-style crime scene investigation visual novel with Picross puzzles for the evidence, art by the creators of Hatoful Boyfriend, and music by the composer of Ace Attorney itself?! Sounds like a dream come true. But the pixel-hunt nature of the crime scene investigations was more frustrating than fun, the picross puzzles were not particularly great, and the game came out literally a week before the entire world went into lockdown which makes it feel more like seven years ago than just earlier this year. I remember being marginally charmed by the game once it was in my hands, but as soon as my mind shifted to long-term self care, Murder By Numbers went from hot topic to cold case.

Most Unexpected Joy

I was looking forward to Fuser all year. As a dyed-in-the-wool DropMix stan, the prospect of a spiritual sequel to DropMix on all major digital platforms without any of the analogue components was tremendously exciting, and I knew I’d have a lot of fun making mixes by myself and posting them online for the world to hear. What I didn’t expect, however, was the online co-op mode to be such a blast! Up to four players take turns making 32 bars of mashups, starting with whatever the player before handed them and adding their own fingerprints on top. It sounds like it should just be a mess of cacophony, but every session I’ve played so far has been just the best dance party I’ve had all year, and everyone not currently in control of the decks (including an audience of spectators) can make special requests for what the DJ should spin and tap along with the beat to great super-sized emoji to show how much they’re enjoying the mix. Literally the only times my Apple Watch has ever warned me of my heightened heart rate have been the times I was positively bouncing in place rocking out to co-op freestyle play in Fuser.

Best Music

Only one video game this year had tunes that were so bumpable they were upgraded to my general “2020 jams” playlist alongside Jeff Rosenstock, Run the Jewels, and Phoebe Bridgers, and that game was Paradise Killer. 70% lo-fi chill beats to study/interrogate demons to, 20% gothic atmospheric bangers, 10% high-energy pop jazz, this soundtrack was just an absolute joy to swim around in both in and out of gameplay.

Favorite Game Encounter

It’s wild that in a landscape where games let me live out my wildest fantasies, the single moment that lit me up in a way that stood out to me more than any other was serving Neil the right drink in Coffee Talk. Over the course of the game, you serve a variety of hot drinks to humans, werewolves, vampires, orcs, and more, all while chatting with your customers and learning more about their lives and relationships. The most mysterious customer, though, is an alien life form who adopts the name Neil. They do not know what they want to drink and claim it doesn’t make a difference because they cannot taste it. Everybody else wants *something*. Neil is just ordering for the sake of fitting in and exploring the Earth experience. It’s only in the second playthrough that attentive baristas will figure out what to serve Neil, unlocking the “true” ending in the process. Seeing the typically stoic Neil actually emote when they tasted their special order drink? What an absolute treat that was.

Best Free DLC of the Year

It’s still only a couple of days old at the time I’m writing this, but Marvel’s Avengers just added Kate Bishop, aka Hawkeye, and THANK GOODNESS. Almost every character in the game at launch just smashed the endless waves of robot baddies with their fists and that looks exhausting and uncomfortable. Hawkeye (the game calls her Kate Bishop, but come on, she’s been Hawkeye in the comics for over 14 years, let’s show her some respect) uses A SWORD. FINALLY! Aside from that, I’m just having a blast shooting arrows all over the place. She and Ms Marvel are the most likable characters in the game so far, so I hope they keep adding more of the Young Avengers and Champions to the game, and if the recently announced slate of Marvel movies and tv shows are any indication (with America Chavez, Cassie Lang, and Riri Williams all coming soon to the MCU), that seems to be what Marvel is pushing for across all media

Most Accessible Game

Nintendo is, first and foremost, a toy company. They got their start in toys and cards long before video games was a thing, and they still do more tests to ensure their video game hardware is childproof than anybody else in the industry (remember how they made Switch cartridges “taste bad” so kids wouldn’t eat them?). This year, Nintendo got to rekindle some of their throwback, simplistic, toys-and-cards energy with Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics, a Switch collection of timeless family-friendly games like Chess, Mancala, and Backgammon, along with “toy” versions of sports like baseball, boxing, and tennis for a virtual parlor room of pleasant time-wasters. The games were all presented with charming li’l explainers from anthropomorphic board game figurines, and the ability to play quick sessions of Spider Solitaire on the touch screen while I binged The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix made Clubhouse Games one of my most-played titles of the year. Plus, local play during socially-distant friend hangs was an excellent way to make us feel like we were much closer than we were physically allowed to be as friends knocked each other’s block off in the “toy boxing” version of Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

"Waiting for Game-dot"

I get that everyone loves Disco Elysium. I saw it on everyone’s year-end lists last year. I finally bought it with an Epic Games Store coupon this year. This year was a long enough slog of depressing post-apocalyptic drudgery, I didn’t want to explore a whole nother one in my leisure time. I’ll get to it… someday.

Game That Made Me Think

Holovista was an iPhone game I played over the course of two or three days based on the recommendation of some trusted colleagues on Twitter and oh my goodness was I glad that I played it. What starts as a chill vaporwave photography game steadily progresses into an exploration of psychological trauma, relationships with friends and family, and the baggage we carry with us from our pasts. In this exceptionally hard year, I badly needed this story about spending time alone with your personal demons and finding your way back to the people who love and support you. Just like with Journey and Gone Home, I walked away from Holovista feeling a rekindled appreciation for the people in my life.

#video games #holovista #paradise killer #animal crossing #animal crossing new horizons #spellbreak #good sudoku #fuser #dropmix #in other waters #marvel's avengers #avengers #clubhouse games #coffee talk #2020

[bobasheebaby]

At Last- Following Her Heart Wedding

Pairing: Athena x Perceval

Word count: 5,613

Warnings: tear jerking fluff, drama, 🍋

Summary: Athena and Percy finally have their wedding.

A/N: I know. I know, about time, don’t worry any gaps in the story will be filled in with time. After this we shall be moving forward to babies in a new series that features them married and expanding their family since my muse is showing that more clearly than the lead up.

A/N2: Leo’s ceremony borrowed from PB, my own twist added. Vows are completely mine.

A/N3: prompt is from the Grey’s Anatomy prompt list requested by @loveellamae 12 “You were like coming up for fresh air. It’s like I was drowning and you saved me.” — Derek Shepard Percy prompt will be bolded.

A/N4: the beautiful commissioned artwork at the end was done by the insanely talented @somewillwin​thank you so much for the gorgeous pictures that capture my couple so perfectly. (Pictures definitely helped me finish this too.)

A/N5: a HUGE thank you to @loveellamae for prereading and to @sirbeepsalot​ for prereading, being my cheerleader along the way and being the best damn beta reader ever! Love you boos!

A/N6: Written as part of @choicesmaychallenge​ hosted by @kinda-iconic​ for day 16 Sunset. 

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.

Disclaimer: I only own Percy, Alex and Bailey, the rest I’m borrowing from PB.

Athena turned to face Percy as the first streak of color kissed the sky. Purples, pinks, and oranges painted the sky, the brilliant colors reflecting across the ocean as they joined hands.

She beamed at him, her caramel eyes sparkling in the light of the tiki torches that lined the silk runner marking her aisle. He looked at her with such love and devotion that tears pricked at her eyes. This is it.

Everything she’d been through, conquered, and endured led her to this very moment. From the second she stepped onto the private plane her future was uncertain. There had been a chance that she would become a queen and rule beside a kind and benevolent king. There had been a time when she believed they were in love and that she belonged by his side. She had thought she’d lost her only chance at true happiness the night he called another woman’s name.

It was now clear to her that each and every step had her here, to him.

Every moment of pain dissipated as she stared into his twinkling hazel eyes. Nothing else mattered. She was where she belonged. Every tear she shed in hurt or anger was worth it in the end.

It no longer mattered that the importance of his title had been thrust upon them as they planned their special day. Everything was as it was meant to be. She was finally following her heart and marrying the man who saw her for her and not what she could be by his side.

She lightly squeezed his hand as she turned toward Leo, a groomsman turned officiant at the last minute. It was a change that might leave any other bride reeling; for her, it felt fitting. Nothing had gone according to plan since she stepped on Cordonian soil. A wedding officiated by a friend seemed more intimate and felt right.

This is going to be fun. Her eyes leveled with Leo’s sea green. Far from perfect, yet perfectly us. She stifled a laugh when he winked as he started to address the crowd.

“I know I don’t spend as much time in Cordonia as I used to, but for an occasion like this, I was happy to return home. Today, I’m here to help celebrate the wedding of Athena Morgan, and my close friend Perceval Hunter, the man who’s lucky enough to wed her. Originally I was meant to be in the wedding, but shit happens and I was more than happy to step in for my lifelong friend. Someone had to marry them, might as well be me.

Enough about me, let’s get to the marrying part, shall we?

There are many different wedding traditions around the world … some that involve more leaping over fire pits than others. But at its heart, every wedding is about one thing: the love between a couple and the bond they have chosen to share.

Here in Cordonia, we like to think of marriage as a promise. The promise that you will renew your love and commitment to one another every day that you are together.

Just as planting a seed is not enough for it to grow into an apple tree, speaking your vows is not enough for a marriage to truly flourish. But if you nurture and cherish one another, your relationship will always grow stronger.”

Percy gently squeezed Athena’s hand as they both nodded, turning to face one another.

“Good. Now, I believe you wanted to recite your own vows.”

Percy’s thumb brushed across Athena’s knuckles as she started to speak. “Percy, meeting you was purely by chance, but the stars truly aligned the day that brought you into my life.” She glanced down at their joined hands.

“When I met you, I was questioning every decision I ever made since coming to Cordonia. What I had thought was a sure thing had unraveled. I had been ready to leave but something kept me here. I know now that it was you.”

She smiled as he mouthed ‘I love you’ while giving her hand an encouraging squeeze.

“That night on the train you claimed my heart. You were the piece of me that had always been missing; finding you has made me happier than I could ever put into words.

Each day with you is a new adventure I will never forget. I vow to cherish every moment we share over the years and to love you more each and every day.

I’m so thankful you came into my life and that I get to call you my husband.”

“That was beautiful.” Leo smiled, nodding to Perceval.

“Athena, when we met I felt a spark that I never thought I’d ever feel. You called yourself broken, but I have only ever seen you as strong and courageous.

I’ve always called you my Doll, and I led you to believe that it was because you were broken that night, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I saw a woman who carried a strength within her, a woman who deserved to be cherished. I have never been as drawn to someone as I am to you.

You make me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’m the luckiest man in the world to have your heart. I promise to only make you cry tears of joy. I will strive every day to make you feel as cherished and loved as you deserve.

No matter what the future brings, I can’t wait to experience it with you by my side.”

“Thank you both. Now, would the ringbearer please come forward.”

Chance yipped as he stood from his resting place by Percy’s feet. He took the few steps forward to Leo before carefully dropping the tulle bag into his outstretched hand.

“Thanks buddy.” Leo said, patting Chance’s head.

Chance gave a happy bark before he trotted back to Percy’s feet, where he plopped down, resting his head on the sun warmed sand.

Athena softly laughed at Chance as she delicately plucked the warm vintage band from Leo’s palm. Chance quickly becoming attached to Percy was one of the many reasons she found it so easy to let down her guard and let him into her heart. She couldn’t help but wonder, if Maxwell had not begged her to take in the abandoned corgi would she have still followed the same path? Was she always meant to be standing here in front of the man that swept her off her feet and helped piece her shattered heart back together?

“Perceval Hunter, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you vow to love her, comfort her, and cherish her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in times of joy and in times of trial, till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Athena Morgan, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you vow to love him, comfort him, and cherish him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in times of joy and in times of trial, till death do you part?”

“I do.”

Athena carefully slipped the vintage golden band onto Percy’s finger, the deep etchings and five small diamonds glinting in the light of the flickering flame as the sun slowly sank below the horizon.

Percy held her hand in his left as he slowly slipped the diamond band onto her finger. The seven diamonds creating a gentle, sparkling curve in the waning light. The band wasn’t a perfect match to his mother’s ring, but would compliment it well enough. While she felt honored that he loved her enough to give her his mother’s ring the rings were mere symbols of their love. The old and new would blend perfectly no matter what, maybe she’d pass them both down one day.

Athena glanced at her hand adorned with the rose gold ring, her smile stretched as she imagined her heirloom teardrop ring sitting in front of it. She once again locked eyes with Percy, her husband, unshed tears shined back at her matching her own.

“By the power vested in me by the kingdom of Cordonia, I now pronounce you husband and wife. May this blessed union be sealed with a kiss!”

She tenderly cupped his bearded cheek the world around them melted away. The man who really saw her now finally hers in every sense of the word, and she was his.

Her head tilted up, her lips meeting his in a soft, love-filled kiss that echoed every word they spoke to each other and every unspoken word held in their hearts. They pulled apart, her hand slipping into his as the sounds of cheering filtered into her reverie from their guests mixing with the roar of the waves meeting the shore.

They made their way down the aisle in the sand, Chance happily trotting behind them. It was impossible to miss the one solemn face amongst the happy crowd of friends and loved ones. She felt a small twinge at the pain etched in his face. She looked up at Percy, unwilling to allow her happiness to be dampened. One glimpse of Percy’s smiling face and all pain instantly melted away; she was exactly where she belonged.

--

Athena’s eyes crinkled as she beamed at the photographer taking pictures of her and Percy in multiple poses; Chance sat firmly at their feet.

The photographer looked down at his digital screen. “Could we get a few shots without the dog?”

Athena laughed. “You’d have better luck rubbing sandpaper on a tiger's ass than getting Chance to leave Percy’s side willingly.” She instantly thought of the first night they’d spent together. They’d fallen asleep talking as they waited for Chance to fall asleep. Percy’s patience and understanding when dealing with the corgi was merely one of a million reasons he captured her heart.

The photographer sighed. “Okay, then. Can we have the groomsmen and bridesmaids?”

Athena’s eyes grew wide and her smile dropped a bit as Maxwell came towards them with the grey top hat he promised he’d only wear during the reception settled on his head. “Maxwell! Top hat!”

Maxwell looked at her sheepishly as he pulled the top hat off. He slowly moved to place it on a chair. “Can’t I just take one picture with it?” He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Please little blossom?”

Athena let out a sigh. “One picture …”

“Yay—”

“At the end.”

Maxwell made a show of slumping his shoulders in defeat as he laid the hat on the seat. “Okay fine,” he agreed as he joined the group, a smile once again present on his face.

The photographer snapped away, pictures of the entire wedding party, the groomsmen with the bridesmaids, groomsmen, bridesmaids, a few of just Athena staring off at the water. With the last of the natural light waning, he called the maid of honor and best man forward.

Alex smirked as he slipped his arm around Bailey. “Looks like it’s just you and me, Red.”

Bailey forcibly rolled her eyes. “I’m not the only redhead here, you know.”

“Only one I’m interested in, besides she looks a little … preoccupied.” He replied, his eyes falling on Olivia, who was thoroughly engrossed with her phone.

“I already told you I’m seeing someone.”

“Are they here? Would love to meet the lucky guy or gal that caught your eye.”

Bailey swallowed. How was she supposed to answer that? They were both there, but not with her. Drake couldn’t date her publicly and, since the trip to Applewood, Liam had taken her out less and less. She hadn’t been to a public event with him since the Homecoming Ball.

She understood -- or that’s what she kept telling him. Maybe it was herself she was telling. He had just made a public admission of his love for her cousin, who was now married to another man. Liam had to tread carefully for all three of them. A relationship held within palace walls was becoming tiresome, but she still cared deeply for both. She could endure.

She gave a soft, hopefully not too forced smile. “No, he couldn’t make it.” The lie twisted in her gut, but she couldn’t tell him the truth.

Alex hummed in response and she noticed his hold on her waist loosened. “His loss.”

She just nodded, fearful she might backtrack and admit the truth.

“Just one dance.”

She looked up at him in surprise.

“A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t have to stand by on the sidelines just because her boyfriend was too busy.”

The words felt like a gut punch. He wasn’t too busy, they just weren’t official. Was that the word? He told her every day he loved her -- they both did -- yet they all came to the wedding as ‘singles’.

Maybe she could dance with Liam, but she knew they’d both feel guilty about Drake the entire time. Drake didn’t dance, or maybe he did since college, but even so their minds would remain elsewhere.

Her other options were Leo, who seemed to be having an argument with his wife on the phone, and Maxwell. Maxwell was sweet, but she knew she’d never be able to keep up with him on the dance floor.

Her sage green eyes met his olive green. She gulped, the look in his eyes could nearly rival the one Perceval had when he looked at Athena. “Okay, one dance.”

--

Percy led Athena to the portable dance floor that was laid out on the soft sand as the opening notes began to play.

At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

They gracefully glided around the floor in perfect step. Her caramel eyes sparkled with love as she looked up at him. “This is all like a dream. To think that you talking to me that night would save me.” She shook her head. “Thank you for really seeing me.”

“I should be thanking you. You saved me.” He twirled her out pulling her closer once she returned to his arms.

Oh yeah yeah

At last

The skies above are blue

My heart was wrapped up in clover

The night I looked at you

She looked up at him with questioning eyes. “How did I save you?”

“I was a bachelor partly by choice. Most of the women I dated had a different idea of what it meant to be noble. It was all status to them. You were like coming up for fresh air. By the time I met you, I’d resolved to never getting married. You get me in ways that no one else did. It’s like I was drowning and you saved me.”

I found a dream, that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Why don’t we just say we saved each other?”

He smiled. “I like that.”

He playfully dipped her, both laughing and smiling as he pulled her back into his arms. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She tilted her head up, giving him a tender kiss.

Oh yeah yeah

You smiled, you smiled

Oh and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine ...

At Last

Athena blushed as they pulled apart as she suddenly remembered all eyes were on them.

--

The sound of silverware clinking against crystal filtered through the air, drowning out the soft sound of the waves kissing the shoreline a few yards down the sand. Athena’s cheeks tinged pink as she looked to her husband, her stomach flipped at the thought. A year ago she would have never thought she would be across the ocean and married to a man who made her feel like she was walking on air.

As much as she loved kissing him, doing so on command felt strange. She smiled as Percy tucked a stray curl behind her ear. He rested his palm on her cheek as he leaned down, planting a chaste kiss on her lips.

“I love you,” he whispered as he leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes staring into hers.

“I love you too.” Her fingertips brushed across his bearded cheek. “Everyone is watching.”

“Let them.” He replied giving her another peck on the lips before reluctantly pulling apart.

“Okay you two lovebirds.” Alex chuckled, sending Percy a wink. “Save it for the wedding night.” He raised his champagne flute. “I’d like to propose a toast.”

Athena bit back a giggle; she was sure Tabitha was fuming somewhere in the crowd at Alex’s impromptu toast.

“I’ve known Perceval for a long time, since the day I met him back in boarding school he has always been the kind of guy you could count on. He was always down to Earth and hated the title he was born to, even if it got us both out of trouble with the dean.

The one quality he always said he wanted in the person whom he married was someone who could see past all the etiquette and titles and see who he really is. You don’t need to spend much time with Perceval and Athena to see that she does in fact see him for who he is, regardless of title.

Athena, I have spent more than half of my life being friends with Perceval, and I have never seen him as happy as he is with you. I wish you both a long and happy union full of love and joy. To the bride and groom.”

Athena lifted her champagne flute as the sentiments were echoed across the sand.

“I guess it’s me.” Bailey giggled as she stood, brushing down her knee length skirt. She turned to face the newlywed couple, smiling at her cousin with tears in her eyes.

“Athena, you are my cousin and best friend; more than that, you are my sister. You have always been happy, but, when Uncle Nick and Aunt Pat died, I noticed your eyes didn’t shine as brightly until you met Perceval.

Perceval, you are the kind of man I always pictured Athena marrying; you are kind and caring and you love my cousin completely. I know that with you by her side that her smile will never falter.

While Uncle Nick and Aunt Pat can’t be here today I know in my heart that they would be proud of the woman you’ve become and welcome Perceval to our family with open arms.

So welcome Perceval. I wish you and Athena all the love and happiness in the world. To a long and blessed union.”

Damnit Bailey. I told you not to make me cry. Athena thought blinking back tears welling at her cousin's words. She took a second small sip of the dry champagne before setting the flute back onto the table.

“You okay?”

She looked to Percy as his hand covered hers. “I’m fine, you worry too much.”

--

Athena looked up as Tabitha tapped her shoulder. “It’s time for the cake cutting.” Tabitha said, smiling sweetly.

Athena looked back at her barely touched meal. Between speaking with guests and the million excited butterflies swarming in her stomach, she’d barely been able to enjoy the menu Percy had planned. She turned back to Tabitha, taking Percy’s outstretched hand. “Okay.” I’ll just eat later when things calm down a bit.

Athena and Percy stood in front of their three tier buttercream frosted cake. The adorning fresh roses almost seemed to sparkle under the twinkling fairy lights. She glanced up at him as the cake knife glided through the cake.

Everything still felt so surreal; the entire day was like she was floating on a cloud. All the tears she spilled during the planning of their wedding no longer mattered. Their day was here, and it was everything she dreamed of.

She picked up a bite of cake turning to Percy, her husband. Her cheeks hurt from grinning so widely all day. She held the sweet confection to his lips.

“Smash it in his face!”

She shook her head at Alex’s request.

Nothing could dampen this day. It was utterly perfect; they were finally husband and wife. Even if the heavens opened up and rained down on them she knew she would still look up at him with a smile on her face and love in her heart, laughing at the surprise shower.

She carefully took the delicate bite from his fingers, her eyes closing as the flavors exploded on her tongue. It was as delicious as the day she’d picked it.

“You have a little cake right here.” He said pointing to the corner of her lip.

“Can you get it for me?”

She gently sighed as his arms slipped around her waist and kissed her.

Her heart soared as she envisioned their life together. Their home would be filled with so much joy and laughter.

“Could today get anymore perfect?”

“I have a few ideas …”

“Oh?”

He nodded, his eyes sparkling brightly.

“I’m listening …”

--

Bailey’s arms hung loosely around Alex’s neck as they swayed on the dance floor. She should have known that Alex would pick a slow song, he didn’t believe she was really dating someone and it wasn’t like she could confess the truth.

The truth. What was the truth? She was with Liam and Drake, or that’s what they said in private. Outside the palace she couldn’t hold hands or kiss either one of them. Liam had taken to avoiding the topic of him dating and his search for a queen, instead pushing reporters to the coming nuptials of Duke Perceval and Athena.

Bailey hadn't missed the way his jaw tensed every time he brought up the wedding, yet he did it time and time again. She couldn’t help but wonder what he would use as a buffer now that the wedding was over. Would he ever introduce her as his girlfriend and potential queen? She glanced up at Alex. Is that what she still wanted?

All this time, had she been subconsciously pulling away from them? Why else hadn’t she voiced her concerns to Liam and Drake?

Bailey quickly looked away, trying to force the unbidden thoughts away. She loved Drake and Liam, she was just being stupid. She shouldn’t be questioning their feelings for her; they loved her too, right?

She sucked in a breath as she met Liam’s eye. She couldn’t miss the hurt etched on his face even from so far away. Her stomach knotted because she didn’t want to hurt either one of them; she just didn’t like being hidden.

How the hell had Drake handled it for so many damn years? No wonder Athena fell for Perceval. He was available and showered her with affection no matter where they were. He always made her feel loved and cherished . She wanted that, not to be a secret in the night.

She shifted her arms, unconsciously moving closer to Alex. Her heart hammered in her chest as he tightened his hold on her hips. She knew she should pull away, tell him to put more space between them.

Instead, her body leaned in closer, the heat of his body soaking into hers. What was she doing? Tell him it was a mistake, step back.

She tilted her head up, her lips slightly parted to speak. Her head felt cloudy and she lost the ability to speak or even breathe as he leaned down. She needed to step back, push him away, something, anything to stop him but she couldn’t. It was as if her body was frozen, but not in fear. Did she actually want this? Did she want to kiss him? She couldn't want this, she shouldn’t be letting him get so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips.

Turn your head!! Stop this. Time seemed to slow. Or was he just giving her a chance to stop him?

Why wasn’t she stopping him?

Her breath hitched as his lips inched closer to hers. What was she doing? She was taken -- she already gave her heart away. Push him away, this is your last chance!

His lips were soft and warm as they met hers, and her arms instinctively pulled him closer. It was as though her brain short circuited as all thoughts of telling him this was a mistake ceased. All thoughts left her mind, leaving only the way his palms went flat on her back as he pulled her closer.

Her body was flush to his as they stood still in the center of the temporary dance floor. When had they stopped dancing?

She gasped as his lips pressed harder to hers, their lips moving together in tandem. Her body tingled, every nerve ending alive. What was even happening?

She pressed herself closer to him, acting purely on instinct. His grasp tightened and his tongue swiped against her lip. God, what was she doing? Did she want this more than she thought?

She pulled back, leaving them both stunned. “I … I …” she stuttered stepping backward. Tears stung at her eyes. She wanted it, but she shouldn’t. “I’m sorry.”

His hands fell to his sides as he watched her retreat with wide eyes. “It —”

She shook her head, “I shouldn’t have,” she said as she turned and ran towards the crashing waves.

Alex stood stunned. He could still feel her lips against his. She kissed me back. He wasn’t even sure why he leaned in in the first place. He had every intention of respecting her, it was just a dance between friends. He hadn’t expected her to move closer to him; he hadn't planned on kissing her. It was as if they were drawn to each other much like a moth to a flame.

The moment he leaned in he had been sure she would push him away but she didn’t. Did she want it too? He was pulled from his thoughts as a firm hand gripped his shoulder. He looked up into whiskey colored eyes that flickered as though they were on fire.

“What the hell -- she told you she had a boyfriend and to back off!” Drake growled through gritted teeth. Anger coursed through him and it took everything in him to not deck the piece of shit in the face.

Alex shook the shock from his face. “Maybe instead of getting in my face you should be more concerned with the reason a guy would claim to be too busy to escort someone as great as her to her own cousin’s wedding.”

“She said that?” Drake felt like he’d been hit by a Mack truck. Is that how she feels? Confusion filled his mind. Things had been complicated from the beginning but he thought they were all as happy as they could be given that they remained hidden. Sure, it was hard to pretend she was only a friend, but it’s what they needed to do.

“Yeah,” Alex gave him a cocky grin, “maybe instead of being pissed at me you should go tell off the piece of shit that made her go stag.”

Drake saw red; this asshole had no fucking room to talk. He continuously made unwanted advances towards Bailey and now he wanted to make him and Liam out to be the bad guys?

The pulsing pounding of the blood rushing in his ears was all he could hear as he clenched his fist.

He pulled his fist back, intent on showing Alex what happened when he walked around like a smug arrogant bastard who could have whomever he wanted.

He stepped forward, the anger leaving him as his fist collided with Alex’s jaw.

“Drake! What the hell?!”

Drake shook his head as Liam’s surprised shout reached his ears. “This piece of shit kissed Bailey.”

“What do you care? It’s not like you’re her boyfriend.” Alex's eyes sparkled as he made the simple connection. “I mean, how messed up would that be? Dating her but no one knows.”

Drake stared slack jawed. Did this fucker figure it out? Would this cocky bastard expose them all?

“Besides, it’s not like she didn’t kiss me back.”

Drake and Liam shared a stunned look as both men felt their stomachs sink.

“She what?” Liam questioned trying to make sense of what was unfolding. He’d been surprised when he saw Bailey dancing with Alex, so to hear he kissed her and she returned it had him reeling.

“She kissed me back. Guess that boyfriend of hers can’t keep her satisfied, which is not surprising since he couldn’t be bothered to join her for her cousin’s wedding.”

“Do you want me to hit you again?”

“Sure, maybe it’ll actually hurt this time.”

Drake drew his arm back ready to land another blow, intent of wiping the smirk from Alex’s smug face.

“Drake, stop!”

Bailey’s voice froze him in place.

“What are you doing?” Her heart pounded in her chest. She’d gone to the shore to clear her mind only to be pulled from her mixed up thoughts by the sounds of shouting.

She pulled away because she was scared. Scared of how much she wanted it and how far she’d let it go. Scared of what her jumbled feelings meant for her Drake and Liam. Did they even have a chance anymore? Did they ever truly have a chance when they had to remain hidden?

Drake turned, the hurt in his eyes enough to punch all the air from her lungs. “You kissed him back?”

Shit! She needed to talk to them, to explain all she was feeling, the hurt of being hidden and the confusion that led to her kissing back Alex. That’s gonna be an awkward conversation. As much as she knew they needed to speak, she knew it couldn’t be there with everyone watching. Double shit! The realization that one bad decision had derailed Athena’s wedding weighing heavy on her shoulders.

Thena is gonna be so pissed! Her eyes scanned the guests looking for her cousin. “Where is Thena?”

“Athena and Perceval ducked out before shit hit the fan.”

--

Percy and Athena stumbled into their room locked in a heated kiss. She wildly clawed at his jacket, pulling the garment down his arms, the linen fabric landing in a heap before the door clicked close.

Since the moment she said ‘I do,’ she felt an intense pull to be claimed by him. Every cell in her body screamed for him to show her, tell her, make her his.

Her fingers threaded in his obsidian locks and she let out a breathy sigh, her head tilting back as he trailed kisses along the slender slope of her neck.

She stumbled backwards, her hands fell to his chest, her fingers frantically undoing his buttons. She was desperate with need. She needed to feel every inch of him pressed against her.

She moaned, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as he peppered kisses across her collarbone and down her chest.

Desire prickled across her skin. “Percy,” she gasped, “I need you ...”

He looked up, the hunger in his eyes mirroring her own nearly taking her breath away. “The bed …”

She shook her head. “Too far.” The few steps to the bed felt like miles; if she waited any longer her desire would surely consume her alive. “Need you now.” Her hands dropped to his belt, fingers nimbly working it free.

He let out a feral growl, his hand gliding over the curve of her hip. His fingers caught the smooth fabric, hiking it over her hipbone as he spun her. Her back pressed into the wall as she shoved his pants down his thighs, his hardened length springing free.

She never felt such overwhelming desire before. She was positive she wouldn’t survive if she waited much longer.

To be skin to skin, his body against hers. Every movement took too long. Each second moving forward at a tortuously slow pace.

His hand ghosted her hip as he gripped the back of her thighs lifting her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, breath catching in her throat as he rubbed against her clothed core.

Please.

Her hands rested on his shoulders as he bunched her dress around her waist. She whimpered as he pushed her white lace thong to the side.

So close, yet still so far. Each passing second only made her desire grow. How much longer could she wait?

Her head fell back with a gasped yes as he slowly inched into her.

She finally felt complete, giving herself over to him entirely.

She clutched to his back as he thrust into her. Her walls squeezing around his length.

Her fingers curved into his back. It felt so good. Did it always feel this good? Was it possible they somehow were more connected?

Her mind swirled, overwhelmed by feelings. Every stroke broughther closer to the edge.

Her back arched and legs shook as she came with a soundless scream, her pulsing walls bringing him to completion.

He brushed her hair back as she looked at him with a dazed expression. “I love you.”

She smiled dreamily. “Love you too.”

He slowly lowered her to her feet, his arms holding her steady. His lips brushed across her sweaty hairline as he kissed her forehead. “Better?”

She nodded, “yes … bath and then round two.”

“Or … round two in the bath.”

“I like the way you think.”

Feedback fuels me, feel free to scream I can take it.

Masterlist can be found in my bio.

@hhiggs​ @butindeed​ @mfackenthal​ @pens-girl-87 @nobodyfromnowhere45 @drakelover78 @awesomeevaneposts @kawairinrin @indiacater​ @shreyamistry​ @omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts @jyruesser85 @trr-fangirl @itsalliepg @theroyalweisme @crookedslimecreatorpasta @lizeboredom @speedyoperarascalparty @xxrainbow-princessxx @lolablackwrites @imma-winchester-addict @hopefulmoonobject @moodygrip @alicars @mrsdrakewalkerblog @greyeyedsmile14 @foghedgehog @leelee10898 @innerpostmentality @liamxs-world @ao719 @texaskitten30 @blackwidow2721 @stopforamoment @gardeningourmet @bella-ca @akrenich​ @daniv2278 @sleepwalkingelite @choiceslife​ @gibbles82 @traeumerinwitzhelden​ @blackcoffee85 @sirbeepsalot @mrskamilxh @dcbbw @desireepow-1986 @bhavf @bbrandy2002 @drakesensworld @kingliam2019​ @walkerswhiskeygirl​​ @ladyangel70​​ @jovialyouthmusic​​ @edgiestwinter​​ @rainbowsinthestorm​​ @jared2612​​ @loveellamae​

#athena x percy #perceval hunter #athena morgan #trr au #the royal romance au #the royal romance #prince leo #at last #at last: following her heart #at last: following her heart wedding #following her heart wedding #following her heart #fhh #wedding fluff #fluff #ns*w #lemon #long post #read more #choicesmaychallenge

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 6, Number 10

The Slugs 

September seemed to be the month when all the records on endless delay finally got kicked out the door, COVID or no, ready or not here we come. We’re deluged with music, some recorded before the world changed, some clearly cooked up mid-pandemic. There are a lot of covers EPs, lots of solo material, lots of home-made lo-fi, lots of benefit comps, and who are we to complain? Better, instead, to reach for the headphones, load up the hard drive, pile on the LPs and do some listening. Here’s some of the stuff that caught our attention, as usual ranging all over the continuum, from traditional to edgy and experimental, from silly pop punk to enraged death metal to bookish electro-acoustic improvisation. Contributors this time out included Jonathan Shaw, Patrick Masterson, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Derek Taylor, Ray Garraty, Tim Clarke and Andrew Forell. Happy fall.

Amputation — Slaughtered in the Arms of God (Nuclear War Now!)

Slaughtered in the Arms of God by Amputation

Given the degree of smugness that accompanies utterances of the phrase “Old School Death Metal,” it’s frequently instructive to listen to some. Right on time, the misanthropic bunch at Nuclear War Now! has delivered some seriously Old School sounds to our digital doorstep. This new compilation LP gathers both of the demos of Norwegian knuckle-draggers Amputation, along with a contemporaneous rehearsal recording. Likely the resulting record will be of principal interest to fans of Immortal, the long-running, on-again-off-again Norwegian black metal band that Amputation would morph into in 1991. The songs collected on Slaughtered in the Arms of God have some additional musicological significance, as they document the sounds of 1989 and 1990, transformational years in Norway’s metal scene. Mayhem and Darkthrone tend to get most of the attention, for reasons both good and bad; and like Darkthrone, Amputation made death metal before transitioning to blacker, more brittle sounds. The music on Slaughtered in the Arms of God is muddy, thudding and thick. Perhaps that’s the result of the primitive recording tech the band used, likely of necessity. But through the murk (and to some degree because of it), you can hear the influence of Stockholm’s fecund death metal scene, especially Dismember’s earliest stuff. Scandinavia’s metal currents run deep and dark. Whether that means that Old School Death Metal is intrinsically a good thing is a different matter.

Jonathan Shaw

 Anz — Loose in Twos (NRG) 12” (Hessle Audio)

Loos In Twos (NRG) by Anz

I love the idea of listening to DJ mixes of original or all-new material; it’s probably why I still value, say, Ricardo Villalobos’ Fabric 36 so much. Manchester’s Anna Marie-Odubote, aka Anz, has been doing just such a thing annually since 2015 and really went wild with spring/summer dubs 2020, which compiled 74 tracks into nearly an hour and a half of new music. That would’ve been more than enough amid all of this (imagine me gesturing around vaguely), but “Loos in Twos (NRG)” on the venerable Hessle Audio imprint is an equally formidable, decidedly tighter release I played a lot at the start of September. Three club-ready tracks here break down acid, jungle and footwork, and while all three are heady breaks, the looped vocals and bongo of “Stepper” make it the one for me. Get those feet moving digitally now so they’re comfortable once the vinyl arrives in early October.

Patrick Masterson

 Ashes and Afterglow — Everybody Wants a Revolution (Postlude Paradox)

Ashes and Afterglow drops pop punk melodies into deep buckets of fuzz, lets them bubble and bob to the surface before shoving them under again. The band is mainly the output of one Luke Daniel, who appears to have been in other band called Sea of Orchids, but neither outfit has left much of an internet trail. And sure, this is the kind of thing that could easily get shuffled under; it breaks no moulds. And yet shuffling “To Take a Look at the World,” has a heart-worn resonance, Daniel’s voice echoing in reverbed hollow-ness against surging tides of guitar noise. “My Yesterday Girl” churns a little harder, with a bright, pop-leaning sort of hopefulness hedged in by seething feedback. It’s not bad, but it never hits a melodic vein the way that similarly inclined artists like Ted Leo or Ovlov or Tony Molina do, and it never pushes the noise over the top, either. Neither pop nor punk but somewhere in middle.

Jennifer Kelly

 Ballister — Znachki Stilyag (Aerophonic)

Znachki Stilyag by Ballister

A cake is still a cake, whether you put chocolate frosting and strawberries or white icing and a fondant roses on top. And while they don’t all taste or look exactly the same, a Ballister album is still a Ballister album, and the first Ballister album in three years does not mess with the recipe. Dave Rempis (alto and tenor saxophones), Fred Lonberg-Holm (cello and electronics), and Paal Nilssen-Love (drums and percussion) still trade in a particularly hard-hitting form of total improvisation. The changes are ones of emphasis — Lonberg-Holm sounds like he’s using a wah-wah pedal and deploys some especially slashing feedback tones, there’s a bit more space in Nilssen-Love’s intricate beat configurations, and Rempis left his baritone sax at home — and of location. Znachki Stilyag was recorded during the fall of 2019 in Moscow, Russia, which may explain why the big horn stayed at home. But the ones you hear still cut and thrust with broadsword force and rapier precision. This is a cake you can trust.

Bill Meyer  

 Vincent Chancey — The Spell: The Vincent Chancey Trio Live, 1987 (No Business) 

Vincent Chancey likely isn’t alone amongst his peers in feeling exasperated by folks singling out his instrument as uncommon or unusual to jazz. It’s a form of damning through faint praise and one that feel

s even more lackadaisical with any time spent with his music. Chancey plays the French horn and he’s plied it in settings as diverse as Sun Ra Arkestra, Lester Bowie’s Brass Fantasy and Charlie Haden’s Liberation Music Orchestra as well as gigs supporting Aretha Franklin and Elvis Costello. It’s unclear whether the trio documented on The Spell was a working concern, but that hardly matters given how well bassist Wilbur Morris and percussionist Warren Smith gel with their convener. Spread across two sides of an LP, the concert recorded at a New York City art gallery covers four pieces, two by Morris bookending one apiece from Smith and the leader that stitch together very much like cohesive suite. An unadvertised surprise comes with Smith’s ample application of marimba alongside a regular drum kit. Recording quality isn’t optimal, but Chancey’s rich, rounded, phrases gain extra gravitas through the sometimes-grainy acoustics. Woefully underrepresented in the driver’s seat discographically, his acumen as both improviser and composer is easily vindicated by this limited edition (300 copies) release.

Derek Taylor 

 Che Chen — Tokyo 17.II.2012 (self-released)

Tokyo 17.II.2012 by Che Chen

Nowadays Che Chen has earned a measure renown as the guitar-playing half of 75 Dollar Bill, and all the praise is earned. But before that, he played a roomful of instruments in the True Primes, Heresy of the Free Spirit and duos with Robbie Lee, Tetuzi Akiyama and Chie Mukai. The through-lines to all these efforts is a willingness not to play things the way their supposed to be played, and a gift for supplying the right resonance in any setting. Since 75 Dollar Bill is a New York-based band made for social occasions, the COVID-19 lay-off has been especially hard — so there’s no better time to see what’s in those hard drives in the closet, right? Chen has released this solo concert from 2012 via Bandcamp. In Tokyo for a brief layover, he played amplified violin at a party held in the basement of someone’s apartment building. The amplified part is important; dips and swells of feedback count as much as in this 25-minute performance as the fiddle’s bright, plucked notes and rough, bowed tones. Chen moves purposefully from one mode to next, taking time along the way to savor the room’s lively acoustics.

Bill Meyer

 Jeff Cosgrove/ John Medeski/ Jeff Lederer — History Gets Ahead of the Story (Grizzley Music)

Odds are that even the estimable William Parker would be surprised by the prospect of a William Parker cover album. But that’s essentially what History Gets Ahead of the Story is as organized and realized by drummer Jeff Cosgrove. That the project is the province of an organ trio only adds to the potential consternation quotient. John Medeski officiates the Hammond B-3 console and saxophonist Jeff Lederer, doubling on flute, completes the combo convened by Cosgrove. The latter’s connections to Parker stem from a trio he was part of with the bassist/composer and pianist Matthew Shipp that disbanded in 2015 after fruitful collaboration. Parker’s personage and music left an indelible mark and the seeds for the present album were sown. Collective creative license doesn’t get in the way of soulful, energizing renderings of such staples as “O’Neal’s Porch,” “Corn Meal Dance” and “Wood Flute Songs,” but troika also cedes time for a triptych of strong originals that align aurally with their dedicatee’s inclusive tone world sensibilities.

Derek Taylor   

 Derelenismo Occulere — Inexorable Revelación (Le Legione Projets)

Inexorable Revelacion (FULL LENGHT 2020) by Derelenismo Occulere

This sounds like a rehearsal gone wrong. In the time of the COVID pandemic, Neo Apolion, a guy responsible for the music in this Ecuadorean duo, recorded a demo and sent it to the band’s vocalist Malduchryst with a message to do with it whatever he wants. Malduchryst took his band partner’s words all too literally. With complete disregard to the music he began vomiting a noisy, messy mass of screams to a microphone (has he never heard of a black metal with no vocals?). If it sounds totally batshit, you can rest assured that it is. This is what makes Inexorable Revelación actually great black metal. When a lot of metal bands these days are just Backstreet Boys with leather jackets on and with guitars, Derelenismo Occulere care about only fury and mayhem. Their Argentinean mix man Ignacio only adds more chaos to the album. The only flaw this tape has is that it is 15 minutes too long.

Ray Garraty  

 Whit Dickey — Morph (ESP-Disk)

Morph by Whit Dickey

Drummer Whit Dickey and pianist Matthew Shipp have been recurrent partners since the early 1990s, when they were both members of the David S. Ware Quartet. It’s fair to say that each man is a known quantity to the other, and that one of the things they know about each other is that they might still be surprised by the other’s playing. Dickey’s retreated from time to time in order to revise his approach, and while Shipp has often threatened to quit recording over the years, he has never stopped working or evolving. This double disc combines one duo CD and another that adds trumpeter Nate Wooley to the pair. Wooley’s done a number of dates with Shipp in recent times, but he and Dickey were musical strangers before they entered Park West Studios in March 2019. Without Wooley, Shipp and Dickey seem very free and trusting of each other, transitioning with dreamlike ease from abstracted gospel to sideways swing to restless co-rumination this the ease. The trio seems more considered. The trumpeter dips quite sparingly into his extended technique bag, favoring instead linear statements that instigate fleet perambulations from the pianist and more supportive, less overtly dialogic contributions from the drummer. Both sessions work, and their differences complement each other quite handily.

Bill Meyer

 Dropdead — S/T (Armageddon)

Dropdead 2020 by Dropdead

Yep, it’s that Dropdead, the Providence-based powerviolence band that hasn’t released a proper LP since 1998 and was on a long hiatus through much of the 21st century. Since 2011, Dropdead has put out a string of splits, with heavyweights like Converge and Brainoil. But a whole record? Maybe the unrelentingly shitty condition of our political and economic conjuncture motivated the four guys in the band (three of whom have been affiliated with Dropdead since 1991) to write the 23 burners, rants and breakdown-heavy hardcore tunes you’ll hear across Dropdead’s 25 minutes. It’s a welcome addition. Bob Otis’s voice doesn’t have the shredding quality of days of yore — but that ends up being useful. You can hear the lyrics, and they’re drenched in venom and righteousness. The rest of the band hasn’t lost a step. Pretty impressive for a bunch of guys with that much grey in their beards. That said, they don’t pull any intergenerational, “we’re-older-and-wiser” moves. This is still music that wants to collapse boundaries, between stage and mosh pit, between races and genders, between species, even. Not so much class positions: “Warfare State,” “United States of Corruption,” “Will You Fight?” Late capitalism’s depredations still bear the principal brunt of the band’s anger. Things have gotten worse, and Dropdead respond in kind. They may be a lot older, but they’re even more pissed off.

Jonathan Shaw

 Fake Laugh — Waltz (State 51 Conspiracy)

Earlier this year, Kamran Khan released his second Fake Laugh album, the charming, playful Dining Alone, which made its way into Dusted’s mid-year round-up of favorites released in the first half of 2020. Khan’s third album, Waltz, is a very different beast, featuring just piano, vocals and the odd keyboard texture, casting his songwriting in sharp relief. Undoubtedly created in this stripped-down way out of lockdown necessity, it’s hard to listen to these wistful, melancholic songs without imagining where Khan’s knack for colorful arrangements might take them, given the chance. (As a tease, closing song “Amhurst” offers up a shimmering electronic melody and some sighing synth chords.) There’s no doubting Khan’s way with a tune, and his naked vocal, though occasionally showing strain, suits the mood. It’s understated and undeniably lovely, yet Waltz feels like a minor release for this talented artist.

Tim Clarke

 David Grubbs / Taku Unami — Comet Meta (Blue Chopsticks)

Comet Meta by David Grubbs & Taku Unami

In the 23 years since Gastr Del Sol fell apart, David Grubbs has done many things that don’t sound much like his old band with Jim O’Rourke. And Taku Unami has worked in such varied settings and ways that the most persistent quality of his engagement with sound is its ability to induce question marks and ellipses in any train of thought intending to decode it. So, it’s both remarkable and delightful that this record, the duo’s second collaboration, sounds rather like parts of Gastr Del Sol’s Upgrade & Afterlife. The foundation rests upon the way two guys who can and do play intricate guitar duets make subtle use of other elements — creeping acoustic piano, humming synthesizer, urban field recordings — to make music that thickens atmosphere and accumulates mystery with such subtlety that you don’t notice it until you’re in it.

Bill Meyer  

 Guided by Voices — Mirrored Aztec (Guided by Voices Inc.)

I know, I know, it’s another Guided by Voices record, the fifth since 2019, but hear me out. Pollard is still tapped into the fuzzy, rackety, melodic sap of the rock and roll universe, and he has only to knock his hammer a few times against the gnarled tree of life to extract more of what sustains us. Shorter version: he can do this all day, every day, without any noticeable let-up in quality. So, let us celebrate another batch of Who-like power chords, of rumbling drums and monumental bass thuds, of melodies that curve out delicately like spring’s first vines, then thicken into thundering climaxes and triumphant refrains. Let us give thanks again for inscrutable lyrics that drift off into poetry then pull back in the most ordinary artifacts of the spoken word. “I Think I Had It. I Think I Have It,” crows Pollard in a voice that has been blasted by time but come out more or less intact, and yes, Bob, you still do.

Jennifer Kelly

  Edu Haubensak & Tomas Korber — Works for Guitar & Percussion (Ezz-thetics)

The celebrated Wandelweiser aesthetic serves as a loose overarching impetus for the four interpretations of compositions by Edu Haubensak and Tomas Korber that comprise Works for Guitar & Percussion. Classical guitarist Christian Buck and improvising percussionist Christian Wolfarth ply their instruments through pairing and isolation. Essayist Andy Hamilton describes context by delineating a distinction between music (based in the language of tones) and soundart (which is non-tonal) and placing the duo’s interpretations in the opaque border between these realms. Repetition and timbral disparity frame Haubensak’s “On” while Korber’s “Aufhebung” applies scrutiny to microtonal diversity and temporal impermanence. Wolfarth fields Korber’s “Weniger Weiss” from behind snare drum, trading recurring stick rolls with varying segments of silence that compel ears accustomed to Western musical structures to consciously fill in the blanks. Haubensak’s solo “Refugium” finds Buck bending two closely tuned strings in an extrapolation of an Arabic maqam that feels tenuously connected to the form, at best.

Derek Taylor 

 Inseclude — Inseclude (Inseclude)

Brad MacAllister of CTRL and Blue Images and Benjamin Londa of Exit have been working in the darkwave and chillwave scenes for several years and their first album as Inseclude is a long distance collaboration that mines the darker side of 1980s alternative and electronic rock. From Pennsylvania, MacAllister sent musical ideas to Londa in Texas who added guitars, lyrics and vocals to produce a set of songs that are well made and enjoyable if largely unmemorable. There are a number of contemporary bands doing similar things — Hamilton’s Capitol and Manchester’s Ist spring immediately to mind — taking the Cure, New Order, Sisters of Mercy template and why not? Unfortunately, the passage of time and the law of diminishing returns have led to overfamiliarity with this style of music that makes for easy and perhaps unfair comparisons. When they stretch themselves, Inseclude’s songs do hit. “Sondera” and “Failing To The Pulse” carry some real menace with the juxtaposition of wide-angle synths and paranoid vocals but elsewhere the pair seem held back by a restraint and lack of bottom end that diminish the impact of some pretty decent songs.

Andrew Forell

 Kvalia — Scholastic Dreams Of Forceful Machines (Old Boring Russia)

Схоластические Грёзы Силовых Машин by Квалиа

Krasnoyarsk sits on the banks of the Yenisei river in southern Siberia and is known both for the natural beauty of its surrounding landscape and for its primacy as an aluminum producer. Local musicians Aleksander Maznichenko and Aleksey Danilenko reflect the latter on their new five track EP Scholastic Dreams Of Forceful Machines, an icy, metallic collection of post-industrial clang pitched somewhere between Einstürzende Neubauten and early Clock DVA. Their machines are forceful but cranky, rusted, near obsolete. Maznichenko keeps the thrum of turbines is steady but the drum machines lurch and thump, the keyboards whine and scream, the Russian vocals protest their obstreperous charges. Danilenko’s bass is post-punk elastic skipping amongst the raining sparks hinting at a will to dance with his mutant riffs. They sound like they mean it and the result is a terrific EP full of fire, fumes, steam and sweat.

Andrew Forell  

 Mezzanine Swimmers — Kneelin’ on a Knife (Already Dead)

Kneelin' on a Knife by Mezzanine Swimmers

These songs circle around noise-crusted, repetitive beats, the drumming stiff and mechanical, the riffs chopped to short bursts, the vocals woozy and distended. “Sexy Apology” reiterates a three-note keyboard lick ad infinitum, as main Swimmer Mike Smith drawls the title phrase, similarly on repeat. Yet within this unchanging structure, chaos erupts in detuned keyboards, miasmic feedback and corrosive noise. It’s hard to say whether these songs are too tightly organized or too loose, a bit of both really, and yet, get past the headachy thud and there’s an unhinged psychotropic transport. No one ever said that kneeling on knives would be comfortable.

Jennifer Kelly

 Mosca — The Optics (Rent)

Mosca · The Optics [RENT001]

Part of the initial wave of neon-infused dubstep hedonism surrounding the Night Slugs camp at the turn of the last decade, Mosca’s Tom Reid has since survived on the strength of a regular slot behind the decks at NTS and sparingly deployed releases on such renowned labels as Numbers, Rinse, Hypercolour and Livity Sound. “The Optics” debuts his new Rent imprint, conceived as a way to get out music that doesn’t fit in elsewhere. (Originally, this was to be an a-side for a coming AD93 release, but as he says, “There's only so long you can keep a track with a baby crying in it back from the masses.”) Supposedly inspired by the Under the Skin beach scene, the five-minute track immediately throws you off with a dub-heavy shuffle and metallic, alien sounds that zoom around the mix. The main thrust of the melody arrives around a minute in, and gradually the sounds close in on you. There’s bells, birds, a baby crying and then, just when you’re feeling completely stressed out, it all falls away; a driving jungle rhythm carries you the rest of the way. Deeply satisfying dance from a head who hasn’t lost his way.

Patrick Masterson  

 Prana Crafter/ragenap — No Ear to Hear (Centripetal Force Studio/Cardinal Fuzz)

No Ear to Hear by Prana Crafter / ragenap

When Robert Hunter, the poet who wrote lyrics for the Grateful Dead’s “Dark Star,” “Ripple,” “Truckin’,” “Terrapin Station” and many other songs, died in late 2019, long form psych musicians Prana Crafter (William Sol) and ragenap (Joel Berk) mourned separately but simultaneously. The night he died, both took solace in improvised music, which didn’t so much evoke or represent Hunter, but captured some of their feelings about his work and their loss. When they talked, soon after, they found that both had made lengthy open-ended meditations on the same person. Those two extended pieces make up No Ear to Hear. Prana Crafter’s entry, “Beggar’s Tomb,” is weighted and slow moving, building gradually from simmering drones into towering edifices of feedback and dissonance. Although performed largely on guitar, the sound is filtered through gleaming effects and layers into astral strangeness, a mystic’s trip through mental interiors. ragenap’s “Nightfall” also takes shape slowly out of looming sustained notes and black velvet quiet and sounds that scratch and vibrate at the edges. A solitary acoustic guitar takes up space at the forefront finally, carving a hesitant melody across the hum. The tune turns fuller and more agitated as it progresses, adding layers of feedback and distortion. Neither of these pieces sounds much like the Grateful Dead, and of course, neither has any sort of lyrics. I doubt that anyone, hearing this album for the first time would say, “Oh yeah, Robert Hunter.” And yet inspiration works in strange and, in this case, fruitful ways. You can enjoy this even if you don’t like the Dead.

Jennifer Kelly

 Raven Throne — Viartannie (Chroniki Źmiainaj Ciemry) (self-released)

Viartannie (Chroniki Źmiainaj Ciemry) /The Return (The Chronicles of the Serpent Darkness) by RAVEN THRONE

These Belorussian black metal veterans are true materialists. On their seventh album, they show that nature is a social construct, not something given. And boy, their nature is not a loving mother. Unlike many metal bands convey nature via field recordings, Raven Throne craft their ferocious sounds with guitars and drums. Aren’t these as natural instruments as stone and wooden sticks? The atmospheric black metal subgenre has been contaminated by pop and folksy metal so that it’s hard to maintain a truly evil sound, while still bringing the atmospheric elements into it. Raven Throne pull it off. This is how darkness should sound.

Ray Garraty  

 The Slugs — Don’t Touch Me I’m Too Slimy (2214099 Records DK)

Don't Touch Me, I'm Too Slimy by The Slugs

The Slugs are an exuberantly lo-fi punk pop duo out of London who bash and thump and shout short, acidic ditties about being female, in a band, under assault and under the weather. Liberty Hodes, who is also one half of the comedy duo A Comedy Night that Passes the Bechdel Test, plays a jangling, forceful electric guitar, while her Phoebe Dighton-Brown bangs away in brutal simplicity on the drums. Both sing, sometimes in unison, sometimes in rough harmonies, occasionally in slashing counterparts. (One chants “Feel sick/can’t be sick” while the other rolls out mellifluous “ah-ah-ah-ahs” in “Feel Sick.”) There is a charming, unstudied quality to their music, which is a bit too smart and biting to be primitive, but nonetheless eschews frills. It’s hard to pick favorites—the whole EP is over in five tracks and 11 minutes—but “Pest” is giddy fun, with its slouching, battering guitar-drum motif and slacker choruses. The shout along chorus of “Don’t touch me! I’m too slimy!” is the best thing on the record, hitting a rebellious, unwashed spot of resonance in the work-from-home era. Second best, the gleeful tirade about sleazy male promoters in “Girly Gang” (“Give you all the gigs if you touch my wang”), which builds in round-singing euphorias until it ends suddenly and a la Jane Austen in matrimony (“Married in a dress by Vera Wang”). People are comparing the Slugs to the Shaggs, but that’s just short-hand for banging away anyway without all the training. The Slugs are smarter, slyer and more autonomous, and if they sound a little rough, that’s exactly how they meant to sound.

Jennifer Kelly

Tobin Sprout — Empty Horses (Fire)

Empty Horses by Tobin Sprout

Blessed with one of the finest names in music (alongside dEUS’s Klaas Janzoons), Tobin Sprout is best known for being part of the Guided by Voices line-up that created classic albums such as Bee Thousand and Alien Lanes in the 1990s. Though Sprout’s subsequent solo output has been a steady stream compared to Robert Pollard’s deluge, Empty Horses is his eighth solo album. In it, the now-65-year-old ruminates faith, mortality and American history atop a spare, country-tinged backing. There’s a deep ache to many of these songs, the kind of emotional weight that manifests in pointedly low tempos, sparse drum parts that hang behind the beat and vocal performances that are almost uncomfortably intimate. Running to a succinct half-hour, with many of the songs clocking in at just a couple of minutes each, Empty Horses confronts demons seemingly too pernicious to overcome. Yet, when the music becomes more expansive — such as the graceful pedal steel of “Breaking Down,” the woozy modulation of “Antietam,” or the biting fuzztone of “All In My Sleep” — Sprout sounds like he may be on the verge of making a much-needed breakthrough.

Tim Clarke  

 Son Lux — Tomorrows I (City Slang)

Tomorrows I by Son Lux

Son Lux’s songs embed unsettling sounds in deep wells of silence, finding disturbing textures in string sounds, electronics, percussion and the fluttering soul falsetto of founder Ryan Lott. Tomorrows I, reportedly the first of three related albums, has a quietly dystopian vibe and a moist, echoing unease that might remind of you Burial’s classic Untrue. A brief, looped, keening violin motif punctures the opening cut, “Plans We Made” with all the threat of Bernhard Hermann’s shower music for the film Psycho, while Lott trills haunted phrases about being afraid to let go. “Undertow,” near the end, brings in a whole string quartet to swoon dissonantly, as a knocking beat (drummer Ian Chang) sounds like a body being dragged across the floor. “Just waiting for the undertow,” sings Lott in the dread empty spaces between, in arias of muted desolation. Minimalist and menacing and mesmerizing.

Jennifer Kelly

 Ulaan Janthina — Ulaan Janthina (Part 1) (Worstward)

Ulaan Janthina (Part I) by Ulaan Janthina

Steven R. Smith contains multitudes, and Ulaan Janthina is the latest manifestation of his mutating musical self. This release exemplifies three aspects of Smith’s practice. First, he likes to make beautiful things. Hard copies of this tape come in a custom-oriented box that contains tinted photos, shells and printed communications as well as the cassette. And he’s project-oriented. While other iterations have been devoted to an Eastern European vibe, or guitar noise or a virtual ensemble sound, Ulaan Janthina results from a decision to work primarily with the keyboards in his house. It’s a winning strategy, since his synthesizers, organ and harmonium all benefit from the grittiness of Smith’s recording methodology, and his spare playing style makes his melodies stand out quite starkly from the background atmosphere. Like the name says, this is part one of the Janthina (named for a genus of sea snail that makes its own floating platform — not a bad metaphor for the survival-oriented independent musician) venture; a second, similarly packaged cassette is pending from Smith’s Worstward imprint soon, and a future release is already planned by Soft Abuse records.

Bill Meyer

 Various Artists — Spr Blk: Liberation Jazz and Soul From the '70s and Beyond (Paxico)

Liberation Jazz and Soul by Marcus J. Moore

Author Marcus J. Moore (late of The Nation but also found everywhere from Pitchfork to WaPo) has a book on the way in October, The Butterfly Effect: How Kendrick Lamar Ignited the Soul of Black America. In advance of its release via cassette devotees Paxico, Moore cobbled together “rare and somewhat familiar” Black music from his own crates. “These are the kinds of songs I play when walking through New York City or driving through Maryland,” he says in the release. What that means for you is a two-sided mix that burns slower on the A and gets more percussion-heavy on the B. Leading off with Doug Carn’s fittingly titled “Swell Like a Ghost” and featuring jams from Willie Dale, Milton Wright, Ronald Snijders and other lesser jazz, soul and funk lights, it’s a revealing mix that will no doubt pair well with that fall reading you’re about to get going on.

Patrick Masterson 

 Vatican Shadow — Persian Pillars of the Gasoline Era (20 Buck Spin)

Persian Pillars Of The Gasoline Era by Vatican Shadow

Dominick Fernow is hugely prolific, and most folks with ears tuned to the densely churning worlds of noise and industrial music will be familiar with his abrasive, unsettling output under the Prurient moniker. Fernow’s releases as Vatican Shadow are fewer in number, and more attuned to ambient, even melodic movements and textures. That’s sort of odd, given that the Vatican Shadow records thematize and explore Fernow’s obsession with the history of the Middle East, especially post-9/11 collisions of Western military force, Islamic traditions of resistance and the tactics of terror used by both sides. Relaxing stuff, that ain’t. Consistent with the larger project’s tendencies, Persian Pillars of the Gasoline Era claims an interest in the CIA-coordinated Iranian coup (MI6 helped out, too, those imperial scamps) that deposed Mohammed Mossadeq, installed the Shah Reza Pahlavi and inaugurated some of the principal tensions that have shaped the last half-century of world history. It’s unclear how Fernow’s pulsing, shimmering, sometimes juddering synth sounds are meant to represent or otherwise engage that history. For sure, record art and song titles summon all the right semiotics, sometimes with an interesting edge. But “Taxi Journey through the Teeming Slums of Tehran” sounds more like a malfunctioning MP3 player than a taxi or a “teeming slum” (can we all be done with that phrase now?), and “Moving Secret Money” is pleasantly trance-inducing, rather than insidiously evil. Musically, it’s quite good. The packaging seems to want strike other notes. Maybe that’s the point — too many folks are too busy consuming quietist pop to bother with the grind of the political. But is this the intervention we need?  

Jonathan Shaw

#dusted magazine #dust #amputation #jonathan shaw #anz #patrick masterson #ashes and afterglow #jennifer kelly #ballister #bill meyer #vincent chancey #derek taylor #chen chen #jeff cosgrove #john medeski #jeff lederer #Derelenismo Occulere #ray garraty #whit dickey #dropdead #fake laugh #tim clarke #david grubbs #taku unami #guided by voices #inseclude #andrew forell #kvalia #mezzanine swimmers #mosca

[smolbeandrabbles]

Lover - Martin x Reader (Untogether)

Read as part of Like You Say You Do / Get Even if you like 💕

Gif Credit: @benmendo

Author’s Note: How and Why he is the easiest Mendo for me to write I’m not sure... But I gotta say, it does mean I can write when inspiration hits in a day... Which is good news for Martin.  AND the Martin Squad...! @stcphstrange @beany-ben @mfolcore @alotofrandomfangirling @shantellorraine Disclaimer: The usual / I own nothing but the writing and the reader character Premise: On the final (hometown) gig of the tour, Martin has a surprise for you... Words: 2558 Warnings: N/A

_________  And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years? This is our place, we make the call And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

---

You’d been with Martin for a little while now, and things had gone from good to better. He had never been kidding about your notebook full of poems (or as he consistently called them, lyrics); and before you knew it the band (who, you would like to add also wrote their own stuff) had at least one album, a multitude of music gone digital and a hit in the radio. And there was nothing like that feeling of you both screaming the first time you’d heard it come on in the car. They were also successful, not little clubs to big time stadium successful, but enough to know what it was like to your outside more than just the States. (Though you felt Martin’s heritage helped with that part of the tour).

You and Andrea stayed best friends, and before you knew it - despite your original protests - double dates between her and Nick and you and Martin became nearly a weekly thing; and not always on purpose.  In fact, the four of you had also been on holiday together and you couldn’t count the number of times you’d seen them both at concerts. Tara however... didn’t remain a real friend for much longer than a few months. You still saw her around, and she certainly wasn’t your biggest fan - but you supposed being courteous with each other was a lot better than the cat fight you’d had when she turned up on Martin’s doorstep one day. You’d tried to be reasonable about it, but she wasn’t having it - Martin had to prize you both apart and that didn’t end well for him either. Two hours later he came back, having dropped her at home, and his face had said don’t ask, and you weren’t sure you wanted to. Since then you’d pretty much kept out of each other’s way. And that was sensible.

 Tonight was the hometown last gig of the tour, and afterwards Martin wanted to take a break, paint a little bit (because he knew how much you still loved to watch him do that in tight white T-shirts) and get his life in order. Not that it wasn’t in order - but you’d bought a house together and hadn’t done a lot with it yet, except paint it; obviously. And there was nothing like painting together; especially as there was now always coffee and donuts involved. Traditions were important things to keep! The show was sold out, and not on-the-day sold out either but months in advance sold out, that made you so happy. You liked to keep track of things like that - you loved yelling; “There’s another one sold out!!” At him from scrolling around on your laptop and how he’d run in; “You’re kidding?!” You weren’t always able to go with them, only when work allowed - so thus far you’d seen him a few times. You had a good supposed network and were fine without him there but, you always loved having him home again. So, you hadn’t seen him in a few weeks either. Luckily you had a couple of days before the show so do nothing much more than lay around the house and make out...

Andrea and Nick would be there, of course. And a bunch of your other friends, because they wanted to be there for the welcome home gig. Also Martin pretty much told everyone he would buy the bar afterwards, so many people didn’t need that much persuasion to buy a ticket! (Not that you would hope they would need much persuasion anyway - you’d kick ‘em otherwise) What did surprise you was that your parents and other family members were going to be there. You remember scoffing when they told you that; Why, it’s not even your type of music! You do know it’s not a sit down venue?! Well, we want to support him... also what do you mean not our type of music?!

 So here you were, night of, backstage with about 3 minutes before he went on. And he wouldn’t. Stop. Kissing. You. “You’re gonna be late on!” You giggled, as he set his guitar up in between kisses; “Never late, it’s my gig!” “Well then it’s your fault if they chuck you off stage or cut the power at curfew!” “They’d never...” he pushed his forehead to yours; “Okay fine... One more, for good luck...” You raised an eyebrow; “I thought wishing you good luck was bad luck? I thought it was break a leg?” “Please dear God, no!” He laughed “Good luck is fine...” “What do you need good luck for anyway-!? It’s not luck if it’s talent...” He gave a gentle shrug “Oh, you never know what you’ll need luck for do ya...” “Okay...” you wound your arms around his neck, making this kiss last “Good Luck!”

As you expected he was incredible. He hit all those notes fearlessly; and the band were also on top form. They were riding the high of the home gig, the last gig of the tour - the energy of the crowd... their little steady wave of success. And you couldn’t be prouder that he was giving it his all here. They didn’t wind down because these were the last few minutes they’d spend on stage, they wound up. And you knew that setlist by heart; even the songs that he interwove and changed depending on where they were and what was getting the most airplay. So you knew when there weren’t so many songs left. And that was sad, you didn’t want them to pack up yet, to stop, you wanted them to play all night long.

 But with one song left Martin’s energy seemed to completely change. He didn’t talk often between songs; liking to let the music do his talking for him. But every so often he would. But the last song was high energy, the perfect finisher. Or it was supposed to be. Instead Martin took a deep breath and stepped up to the Mic. “Now usually, there’s a song we would play here, which would make sense as the final song on a set list... right? But... tonight I... wanted to do a little something different. But, I also didn’t really want to do it alone... Because I wrote her a song.... so... I figured if I was gonna play it for ya, it would only be right if she was on stage too, yeah?” It wasn’t that you weren’t listening, just when you suddenly froze at the realisation he was talking about you, he’s written a song for you. But even then it still wasn’t completely registering with you what he’d said, until he called your name. “So hopefully with a little encouragement we can get Ms.Y/N out here, what do you say?” There was a cheer from the crowd that made you instantly embarrassed, and for some reason you felt like you still weren’t hearing this correctly - “C’mon, Y/N… don’t go all shy on me now…!” Martin’s laugh edged nervous, and one of his road crew nudged you in the back. Lucky for that too – as it snapped you back into reality. You took a deep breath, and walked out onto the stage.

The spotlight meant you couldn’t really see the sea of people here to watch him. But Martin was clear as day, and just as beautiful. “Ah! Here she is; may I introduce those of you that don’t know her, to my gorgeous Y/N…” You wanted to push him and tell him to stop, but this was neither the time nor place… And with him looking at you like this in front of his own fans, you couldn’t help your grin. Probably like an idiot, and in front of people I know… Dammit Martin! “So as I was saying… I wrote her a song… And I’d quite like to sing it for her…And maybe end this show a little more low key… Is that alright?” Another jubilant cheer from the crowd made him grin; but still he was fixing you with that look; and you couldn’t figure out what it was… “Aha… Earlier I asked her to kiss me for good luck.” You nearly rolled your eyes; Oh, now he was going to start telling embarrassing anecdotes about you too… “And she said ‘You don’t need it’ which… might be true…” He was still staring at you with immeasurable adoration; “…But for this I feel like I might…”

He stepped away from the mic for a moment, cleared his throat and swallowed hard – and you thought the band might begin to play the notes, to accompany his melody. But no, instead you were met with almost dead silence, because instead of stepping back to the mic Martin stepped forward; and then down onto one knee. WAIT-! There was a mix of emotion from the crowd; somewhere between a scream of delight but also dead silence at respect for the moment, and to hear what he had to say (or you could hear what he had to say). You gathered your hands to your mouth; they all KNEW! Your family and friends they must all KNOW! That’s how come they were all here-! MARTIN!!!

“So, maybe I thought I was never going to be the marrying type…” He pulled a little navy-blue box out of his pocket; “…And maybe sometimes things just happen to let you know, even though you might commit to spend your life with one person… There might be more to it than that. I know that it took me a while to realise that that person was you, but I also knew I’d finally found her in you… Y/N… And maybe it took me a while to realise that I wanted to marry you, but you’re also the only person I’ve ever wanted to get down on one knee for. And I know I don’t plan much, but I did plan this…” He opened the box delicately; the dainty silver piece inset with amethyst was beyond-words beautiful. And you held back your tears, even though you knew they were happy ones. Hell, Martin could have proposed with a piece of plastic and you’d have said yes. “So, in front of my band and a bunch of our friends… I’m asking for your hand in marriage… And you can have my heart and soul…” He gave a tiny shrug with a smile; “Heck, I think you already do… So, I know you’re going to take good care of ‘em…” Martin took another breath; “Y/N… Will you marry me?” Not that you would have declined; but how you were supposed to do that in front of all these people anyway was a mystery to you. You also decided that vocalising it might be better, in the circumstances, than just nodding “Yes!” “Yes?” “YES!” The crowd erupted in happy raptures; led by his band, as Martin stood and pulled you to him to kiss you, winding his arms around you you could feel the nervous, now triumphant, energy that flowed through him. “Good thing you wished me luck…” “…Oh yeah, that’s the only reason I said yes…” He couldn’t help but laugh as he let you go and took your hand in his – you watched, still smiling and a little lost for words, as he slipped the ring onto your finger. “Guess now is as good a time as any to tell you I love you?” You shook your head; “I know, why do you think I said yes?”

He motioned to his crew to bring you a stool to sit on; but Martin being Martin wouldn’t let you just sit on it, oh no… He had to pick you up whilst kissing you and put you on it himself. You covered your face with your hands; yes – that what perfect cause to be embarrassed thank you very much!!! You had to live this down to your family now. And Andrea. Who was probably filming the whole thing. He shouldered his acoustic guitar and turned back to you; “So… Y/N… This song is for you…” The band let him start alone – and suddenly you were transported to your living room, where he would cuddle up with you and test out your poems, or his lyrics with tunes in his head and see what stuck, and what sometimes didn’t. But even if you were aware you were in a room full of people – for that first verse there was just the two of you. And you realised something. You realised exactly what he was doing – and what this song was – and how no one in this room would ever know the significance. “Martin…” You knew you’d murmured it, that he knew you’d said his name and you got it by the way he smiled; he’d entwined lines from your poems about him in with his own lyrics about you… Lyrics you couldn’t even believe he remembered from the first time he’d read your notebook and asked if they were about him and you’d denied it… He was perfectly mixing them here… He wasn’t just singing lyrics to a song he’d written. Martin was singing your history. This song wasn’t for you. This song was yours.

***

Andrea was, unsurprisingly, the first one to greet you – almost screaming – as you appeared from back stage “OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!” “How long have YOU known!? C’mon, he invited all of you because you knew – don’t deny it! I’m gonna KILL HIM!” “Okay, before you go killin’ your fiancé, we were always gonna come, I’ll have you know! I dunno, I think he finally up and told us about a month ago. I’ve literally been biting my tongue about it, though.” You stared at her for a second, and had barely listened to anything beyond her seventh word, before your face lit up; “Holy sh*t! Martin is my fiancé!” “…Yes, no more boyfriend girlfriend stuff its- YOU!” she yelled again, and another cheer went up from both your friends and family as he appeared looking nothing more than euphoric. Andrea let you go and ran to him; and almost tackled him to the ground; “YOU! YOU ASSHOLE!!! DO NOT TELL ME THAT SPEECH WAS ON THE FLY! YOU SAID EVERYTHING I WROTE DOWN!!! YOU SON OF A-!” “Woah, okay, okay, I took some inspiration…” She smacked his arm; “You didn’t even act like you were interested or listening! I could kill you as much as I could kiss you! But I won’t because I don’t want to make your new fiancée jealous.” You folded your arms with a laugh; “Oh, did Andrea write it?!” “No! No!” He pointed to her “Be fair; I told you what I wanted to say…” “Okay…” she huffed “I put his speech a little more eloquently… Or you would have been up there listening to him ramble for 30 minutes, and then he’d get knee cramp…” Martin scoffed at that idea, walking across the floor to you, taking you back in his arms; “Whatever…” She called after him; “C’mon – short and sexy!” “…Old and sexy!” You looked around him with a grin to your best friend. Martin sighed in mock annoyance. “Geez… I have this for the rest of my life…!” “How lucky are you!?”

💍

---

AHHHH!!! I FINALLY WROTE IT! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

@dennismitchell @krnncsbtch @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad.

#SO yeaaaaah Taylor Swift's new album #Writing inspo it certainly is #I've had this scenario for a while but the bridge to THIS song #OH wow perfect #Martin #Martin x Reader #Untogether #Ben Mendelsohn #64 #/Hums Beatles Song/

[archivist-cephalon-kark]

Regarding the Warframe Community...

Cephalon Kark: Where should I start? I am a Cephalon...I think. I am a digital manifestation of my former consciousness. And yet, unlike the other members of the Weave, I am...subjective. I feel emotions...I feel joy and sadness, hate and love. To state it plainly, I feel. And that is not normal for a Cephalon.

Archivist Kark: Can you give an example? Something more tangible?

CK: Yes, I suppose I can. A prime example would be my perspective of the Warframe community.

The Gaming Community Civil Wars

Most people categorize the members of the Warframe community in a similar manner to many other gaming communities. 

You hear about the Testers, the high echelon of the community that supported the game before anyone else.  Because they received exclusive content for their support, an eternal war is established between those who demand equal access to the content and those who defend the exclusivity.  Then there are the Toxics, players who seek to ruin the game for others.  The majority of toxicity stays in the game chats, though the truly toxic players seek to actively hinder their teammates during gameplay.

The terms “Veteran” and “Newbie” are equally distributed and disputed, especially when new content drops.  Outcries of content being uninteresting for Veterans or too difficult for Newbies seem to alternate on a regular cycle. 

Akin to the Veteran-Newbie duality is the relationship between Hardcores and Casuals.  Casuals may occasionally engage the community, especially during an event, but are more apt to stick with random groups or friends for teammates.  Casuals also are less likely to stress over their builds, focusing on what feels fun or looks cool.  Hardcores, though not necessarily against enjoying the game, are more apt to crunch numbers and invest hours into perfecting builds for each piece in their arsenals.  Hardcores are those players who go for an hour or longer in Endless modes.  Hardcores rarely run with random groups.  Instead, they search for teammates with the exact builds needed for a composition to guarantee success and efficient farming.

Because of the stark differences between Hardcores and Casuals, the two groups frequently do not mix.  Hardcores get frustrated by the less-than-ideal builds of the Casuals, frequently carrying the Casuals through to the end of difficult missions.  Casuals, conversely, feel overwhelmed by the pressure to perfect their builds and put in hours of work.  When the community views itself in these terms, it collapses.  However, I view the community differently.

The True Community

The core of the community, the echoing heartbeat of the game itself, is often overlooked.  Despite how common it is to witness, I believe that few people truly realize how unique it makes Warframe and its community.  That one thing is supportiveness.  Play Warframe for an hour, maybe less, and you’ll soon realize what I mean.  Despite all six of the traditional player “types” existing in the game, the vast majority of players actually reach across the dividing lines.  A new player is almost guaranteed to find at least one player, Veteran or Newbie, Casual or Hardcore, Tester or even Toxic, that will help them through the initial missions.  Everyone who has played Warframe for any decent amount of time knows what it feels like to start fresh.  The longer a player has played Warframe, the further they have gone in the quests, and the better their equipment has gotten, the more they support others.

This is especially evident with some of the content released in the past two years.  Eidolon Hunts, Plague Star, Orb Hunts, Thermia Fractures, Nightwave Acts, and Kuva Liches all have reinvigorated the Warframe community and its supportive core.  I can’t count the number of times I have seen players offering to taxi other players to event nodes or carry them through high-level missions.  Often, this is without prompting and does nothing to benefit the supporter.  In fact, using Thermia Fractures as an example, having more players can make it harder for the supporter than if they went solo or with a friend.  Kuva Liches, the latest major content release, have given the community a transplant of its own “Old Blood”.  I wish I could’ve recorded the last two fights with my first Lich.  Complete strangers worked with me to reduce his health enough for me to test out one last sequence before vanquishing him in the second fight.  Even with an influx of enemy units and rapidly depleting Life Support, an unspoken bond and coordination developed in those fights.  While I was thrown around the room repeatedly, one teammate kept the units at bay.  The others alternated between seeking out Life Support capsules and helping deal damage to my foe.  That is the true community of Warframe.

#warframe

[ourthrowaway4620-blog]

Digital Art in Technology should be considered an Art medium.

Digital Art in Technology should be considered an Art medium.

“Oh, digital artwork isn’t REAL art, you’re not even getting your hands dirty! All you’re doing is clicking on a computer, there’s literally nothing about it that screams “art”!”. Ever since I started my journey into the digital arts, it’s always this one phrase I hear consistently. It infuriates me hearing this phrase every time I bring up the topic of my digital works. It feels like all my blood, sweat and tears have been for nothing! It feels like all my hard work and time into a digital piece is being discredited, like everything I do doesn’t even matter! Why do people ignore the effort and time of digital artworks?

As technology improves constantly, it introduced a new art medium, digital art. Digital art is usually artwork that is drawn through a drawing tablet, which is then translated over to the computer. In short, digital art simplifies some of the traditional processes, such as the process of mixing colors, which would be nonexistent in digital art since you can just pick a color instead of mixing it..The time and effort put into a digital art piece was no different that the time and effort put into a traditional piece. In addition, the costs in comparison for digital art were less than what you would spend on a traditional piece. Traditional artworks would require numerous trips to the art store to pick up materials, many of which were expensive, whereas for digital artworks, all it needed was a drawing tablet, computer and an art program.  As a result of these differences, this category in art was relatively new and became more popular in the present. 

 This is all fine and dandy, right? WRONG. Despite being a “new” art medium, and sharing the characteristics and techniques as any art form, there are people who don’t even consider digital art to be one! These people reject the notion of digital art itself, not even giving it a second chance to reconsider all the effort and knowledge needed to work on a digital art piece. 

To understand why digital art is seen so negatively, we must go back to a time where digital art was at its infancy while gaining popularity at the time. I have chosen a blog post from a professional digital artist who recalls a negative experience regarding digital art. “Saying Photoshop is for hacks and people that don’t know how to draw. There was so much hostility against an art form...because it was a new medium taking over and making it easier than what my teachers once had to use. (Luvisi). This quote taken from the blog post gives us an idea of what was one of the earliest instances of a negative response in regards to digital art. The quote stated previously gives us a better idea of why people that are more familiar with traditional mediums and are more . Traditional methods involve working with your hands, getting down to the nitty gritty mess with the materials, a sort of hands on experience. Seeing as how digital artists can completely skip the messiness that traditional art carries, it makes it seem as if digital works require no effort whatsoever. Since digital artworks are usually done on a computer, people who are more familiar with traditional methods tend to jump to the common misconception of  the computer does all the work for you.This leads into the idea that digital artworks require little to no effort to create. This idea could not be more wrong!

Since the art is being produced on a computer, the first thing that traditional artist’s would think of is how the image is produced through a program. Since digital art is usually worked on with a computer, people tend to believe that the program does all of the work in the digital art process, making it streamlined or automated, because it’s on a computer. However this is not even close to how an art program works. For example, this program, for example, could be Photoshop. This image editing software doubles as a drawing program as well, as it would allow the user to freely modify and create shapes of their own, as well as applying filters to make the image look the way they want it to, undoing any trace of a mistake on the digital canvas. In a sense, I do agree where traditional artists are coming from, having tools on the computer to undo every mistake, whether it be with colors and sketches that you had previously made, in order to make the image look perfect. Unlike digital artists, traditional artists have to be careful with what materials they have to use, as any mistake can ruin the piece, being permanently imprinted onto the material. While on the other hand, digital artists have it much easier as they can undo any mistake they’ve made on a digital canvas, removing any sort of mistake. As a result, since the digital art process has massive advantages over traditional methods, it’s resulted in a sort of negative mentality from the traditional artists. This isn’t true at all, the fact that the digital art process has advantages, doesn’t mean that it neglects the same concepts and principles as any traditional art medium does. 

Both art mediums, traditional and digital, share the same principles and concepts. These principles and concepts both involve a basic understanding of drawing, and use of art materials and tools. In an article, titled “Is Digital Art “Real” Art?“, the author states that; “You get a set of tools, but they don’t have any technique assigned to them. What’s more, the techniques of sculpting, drawing and painting are the same between traditional and digital media.”. (Zagrobelna). This quote taken from the article means that digital art is no different from traditional art in terms of understanding the usage of how the tools work on a canvas both physically and digitally. This means that, regardless of how different the mediums are, there are no differences in terms of the effort and time taken to work on an art piece, whether that art piece is a traditional or digital work. In addition, the techniques and knowledge of the tools, just like art tools in traditional media, are shared and do not alienate each other at all. From my personal experience, learning how to draw digitally was and still is a difficult experience. 

Digital artwork itself is just as difficult as any other traditional medium. From my experience, learning how to draw on a drawing tablet was much more difficult in comparison to drawing on paper. When I first moved over to digital drawings, I thought it would be a walk in the park since I already had experience while working on paper. Unfortunately, when I started digital art ended up being extremely frustrating for me to use. I couldn’t get the drawing to look like my drawings on paper, plus with the fact that the tablet I had was a screenless model tablet, meaning I couldn’t just look down and see what I was drawing. This frustration made me hold off on drawing digital art for several months. However, I eventually came back with an open mind and decided to pick up digital art from there, slowly learning and improving my artwork over the course of the next six years. With these personal experiences in mind, this is why I get extremely frustrated at the negative responses I receive from people who don't consider digital art as an art form. It feels as if it’s a complete insult to the six years of time that I have been working and learning to improve my digital art.

Overall, digital art is an amazing form of art that should not be should not be discredited as an art form. It’s understandable why people who are familiar with traditional art mediums dislike the idea of using a computer to create digital artworks. To them, it feels there’s an unfair advantage that digital art offers, and that by having these advantages the person behind the computer is skipping traditional methods like mixing paints for color, resulting in a negative mentality that causes people to see digital art as a lazy way of making art. However, both digital and traditional methods of art share the same concepts and principles. Both art forms sharing the knowledge of drawing and application of art tools and materials.  In addition, just because the art form is done on a computer, doesn’t mean that the art form isn’t easy, as it takes just as much time and patience to learn as any other art medium. Digital art to some, may not be considered as “art”, but the efforts and determination to create an art piece on a medium that most people don’t count as a “real art form”, is quite remarkable.

Sources cited

Denise Ivey Telep. “What Is Fine Art-Traditional Art Only, or Digital Art Too?” EmptyEasel.com, , 12 Mar. 2019, emptyeasel.com/2008/10/23/what-is-fine-arttraditional-art-only-or-digital-art-too/. 

M., & Zagrobelna Poland, M. “Is Digital Art "Real" Art? Facts and Myths About Digital Creating”. 30, Sept. 2014, https://design.tutsplus.com/articles/is-digital-art-real-art-facts-and-myths-about-digital-creating--cms-22010. 

Luvisi, Dan, and Dan LuvisiView. “Digital Art Is Not ‘Real Art.’” Muddy Colors, 22 Apr. 2014, www.muddycolors.com/2014/04/digital-art-is-not-real-art/.

Zagrobelna, Monika . “How Is Digital Drawing Different from Traditional Art?” Medium, SketchBook: In Perspective, 17 Nov. 2017, medium.com/sketchbook-in-perspective/how-is-digital-drawing-different-from-traditional-art-8204e5954d6b. 

[mysticsparklewings]

Fairy Enchanting‪

A bit later than I expected, but here we have the art that I used for the examples on my Commission Sheet! (Unoriginal title is unoriginal and also a pun based on "very enchanting") When I started thinking about putting together a commission sheet in the first place (which was something I wanted to do for the new year, as before I was just using a lengthy pricelist), I knew that I wanted to make a piece of art specifically for it and track my progress as I went, so that I would have an example for each stage in the process I take commissions for. And for the art, I more or less wanted to "go all out" since it's supposed to be an example, and I figure the example needs to be as close to top-notch as possible. Admittedly, I probably could've done even more than this, but me being me I procrastinated and ended up having less time to work on this that I initially expected, so... In deciding what the drawing would be, I also decided to return to my roots a little, and a do fairy as an homage to back when I used to do Winx art all the time. Likewise, as Enchantix to this day is my favorite transformation from the show, I drew heavy inspiration from it, and I'm sure that's so obvious that if you know the show I probably didn't have to point it out to you. Anyway. I actually didn't start completely from scratch with the sketch; I re-used this pose from a previous sketch I did that never saw a full-finished piece. I liked that other sketch okay, but it didn't feel like a "finish me" project. I did have to alter the feet because the original sketch was made with feet for ballet slippers (bigger heels, more rounded/curved toes, etc.) and much later on in the process I ended up angling the leg on the left more outward, as that felt more natural for the direction I was taking this new sketch in. In sketching all the bits that make this sketch otherwise unique from the old one, as I mentioned, I was taking heavy inspiration from Enchantix. One of my favorite parts of the transformation has always been the leg-wrap/barefoot sandals, for reasons I can't explain. So those were a must. I also really like how the Enchantix outfits tend to be short dresses that are more form-fitting at the top and more flowy and soft at the bottom. Here, I decided to bring the ribbony look on the leg wraps up into the bodice, and to frame the collar/shoulder area I used a sleeve & choker style similar to what I did for the dress for Ink Dance, which itself was based on a dress I actually own and love to pieces despite never getting a chance to wear it because of how fancy it is. The main difference for both of the drawing versions is that I skipped the lace overlay that connects the sleeves and choker, mostly because both pieces are traditional and drawing lace/mesh traditionally, especially when it's so teeny, is a nightmare I do not want to engage with. And the choker part fits nicely, as in Enchantix each fairy has a necklace (usually a choker) that holds their fairy dust bottle. I'm not sure if this fairy has one or not, but she very well could! Enchantix usually has long gloves, but I altered these to be shorter and fingerless (more like Magic Winx or Believix gloves) since this fairy is also based partially on myself, and I'd be more likely to wear that kind than the full-length formal gloves. And for the hair, as is maybe obvious, I was primarily inspired by Stella's for her Enchantix, since I've always loved that part of the transformation sequence for her's. Also, even though it doesn't look that way on my commission sheet, IRL I drew only one wing and left it separate, off to the side, to make positioning and flipping it easier. Once the sketch was done, I did try inking it traditionally/by hand once, and I just really wasn't happy with how it turned out. And I also realized I had drawn the skirt billowing/ruffling in completely the wrong direction anyway; It was moving to the left when it should've been moving to the right like the hair. So I had to take time out to fix that. As opposed to wasting more paper trying to ink traditionally after that fiasco, I instead went with what had been my gut instinct anyway; I scanned the sketch in and did the lines in Photoshop. Well, most of the lines. I was a dumb-dumb and when I did the lines for the wings, 1. it took forever because they're large curves everywhere and 2. I used a slightly bigger brush than for all the other lines, as I had mistakenly thought I was going to be re-sizing them significantly and the lines would be altered to for me when I did that. When I realized that wasn't the case, I did not want to have to redraw most of those curves again and risk not being able to get the right a second time. So I ended up booting a copy of the wings I'd already done into Paint Tool Sai and made use of the linework layers to redo the wings without having to draw the same line fifty times. Then I booted that back into Photoshop and adjusted the wings to be angled/aligned with the rest of the lines as I saw necessary. It was also at this point that I played around with positioning the leg on the left more outward than what it was on the sketch and ended up going with the position you see here. I could have then gone back and added weight to the lines in some places, but at this stage, I was already thinking that I wanted to print the lines out and use my digital lines to hopefully get cleaner traditional ones, as opposed to just printing the lines off outright. (Mostly because I wanted to use some super thick mixed media paper that I would bet serious money will not go through my printer.) That's what I ended up doing, and I have to say that attempt went a lot more smoothly than me trying to ink from the original sketch. And once I had the initial lines done, then I went back and thickened them in certain places. And I should probably mention here that the wings were a little tricky to figure out how to handle traditionally, as that's not something I've had to do very often. I ended up using my clear stardust gelly roll when I did the normal inking, and then, later on, I used colored pencils to go back over the outlines before coloring them in. After doing some tests, I started coloring with markers for the hair and skin, and a little colored pencil for some blush. I tried to get a little more bold with the shading than I usually do, which I'm sure still looks pretty tame compared to most. But I'd rather the shading be too light than too dark. Originally, I thought I was going to do all or mostly all of the coloring with alcohol markers. (Sidenote: is it just me or does it seem like there’s a lot of alcohol marker related stuff going on in the art world lately??) But then I did some testing with the lines I originally inked and didn’t like, and was reminded why I normally don’t use alcohol markers for gradients like the one on the skirt...frankly, I’m not very good at them...yet. Even though the test went better than expected, I still wasn’t happy with it. Then I tried a few more tests with watercolor, and that didn’t fare much better. Watercolor would’ve worked if the gradient wasn’t also supposed to be shaded, I think, but trying to shade it without using another supply wasn’t working. That left me with good ol' tried and true colored pencils. But colored pencils are relatively slow and textured, and I didn't really want that for the skin. The texture would've worked for the hair, but I didn't want to make the time investment for it either. And so I ended up sticking to my mixed media instincts and I used the colored pencil exclusively where I had to (on the dress so I could get the gradient for the skirt right) and then I used alcohol markers everywhere else, shading and all. With the alcohol marker doing most of the work, then I came back and added additional shading/highlights with the colored pencils as needed to everything except the skin. I added blush, but otherwise, I was quite pleased with how the skin turned out and didn't want to touch it for the risk of ruining it. The dress is supposed to be black/really dark gray, but I did brighten it up a bit with some of the blues from the skirt gradient as opposed to pulling out specific grays, so it definitely looks/feels more navy in the final product. Although my relatively dark/saturated color choices for her outfit made figuring out what to then do with the wings more challenging. I didn't want the wings to be the exact same colors as the rest of the drawing, because then they'd blend in too easily and be too distracting from the rest of the piece. But at the same time, I wanted them to match/look like they belong. (Again, similar to how the wings are in Enchantix) After some back-and-forth testing and a LOT of color sampling, I decided to color the wings in with alcohol markers in colors that were similar to her clothes but overall lighter/more pastel and outline them and the sections inside the wings again in colored pencil. Most of the colored pencil is slightly darker than the marker colors I picked, but I went with purple for the black/gray rims of the wings because I thought a dark gray or black would be too harsh. I'd already decided I wanted to do a slightly more complex background digitally, but even with that in mind, the traditional drawing still felt like it was missing one more thing after that. Namely, the wings didn't seem special enough. I realize that sounds a little weird; I was just talking about how I didn't want the wings to be too distracting, but I think there is a delicate balance to having them be special in the way fairy wings should be while still not overpowering everything else. And I'm not sure I achieved that, but I at least tried to. Though not a perfect solution, I ended up adding some metallic watercolor on top of the "true" (less purple-y) blue and pink sections on the wings.  You can't really tell here on the scan, and what little you can appears to be the wrong color, but in person, both colors now how a lovely pink or blue sheen to them when you move the picture in the light. (The metallic paints, in this case, are very opalescent, so they're almost completely transparent when you see the flat color despite still have a really pretty metallic sheen in the light.) After that, I felt there wasn't much more I could do traditionally, so I scanned it and moved on to that background. At this point, I was kinda pressed for time because me being me, I had unintentionally put making my commission sheet off to the last minute. I really wanted to have it finished before the ball dropped on New Years' Eve ("new year, new me" and all that jazz), and I still hadn't finished my example art by sunset time the day of. So I had to keep things moving. Early on, I'd had the idea to either digitally make a slightly more complex (but not too complex; I wanted to keep at least a little of the sanity I have left) background or perhaps make a special watercolor piece to use as the background. Unfortunately, I just didn't have the time for that anymore if I wanted to have the commission sheet finished by my self-imposed deadline. (And if we're splitting hairs, in theory, I could still go back and change the background if I wanted to, for reasons I'm about to go over, so of all the things to get rush-cut that's really not so bad.) What I ended up doing instead was taking some of the left side of my Starfall Mountains painting (I was looking for a background-type thing I'd already done/made that would suit this drawing or that I could quickly tailor to make it work, and I'm just as surprised as anyone else that this frustrating tiny painting ended up being the one I liked best of my options) and I blew it up to comfortable cover the background here, flipped it around so the colors would flow a bit better, and used the hue/saturation slider to make it more of teal color for a little more contrast. But of course, there was still just one more thing missing, even after all that. After a little tinkering, I decided I didn't like trying to making the wings transparent (I could do it, I just didn't like the way it looked in this case), so I went in and added a touch of sparkles digitally to both tie them more into the piece as a whole and to give them a little more pizzazz. And finally, blessedly after all of that, the artwork was finished, I was very happy with it, and I could move on to making the actual commission sheet.   I have to say, for as rushed as it was towards the end, I do really like how it turned out. More particularly I like just how blended both digital and traditional art ended up being here. To me, this is the next step beyond what I was able to do for mixing digital and traditional art with my Doodle Moon piece, and if I weren't currently in the middle of a tablet crisis, I'd really want to do more with this concept of going back and forth between the two on one artwork. However because of the tablet situation, the thought of really trying to do that right now kinda fills me with dread, so we're gonna have to wait a little while on that. I do also really like the anatomy/proportions in this. Which is not something I normally feel comfortable saying.   It's not the best art I've ever made or anything, but looking at it makes me happy. It's good to see it finished and it's good to think of where a lot of the ideas for it came from. (Re: Nostalgia for my life a few years ago) I'm not sure if I will since it kinda counts but also kinda doesn't(?), but I'm tempted to put this and some of my old Enchantix drawings up on the "Draw This Again" template, just to show how far I've come. I'm still thinking about it, we'll see. Speaking of "we'll see," I got word that the sketchbooks from the contest I made Designiest Design for back in October are finally in, which means the prize packs should be sent out anytime now! I'm excited to see how the sketchbooks turned out and get my hands on the Powder Pack and see how said powders work! I was admittedly starting to wonder how that was coming along, so that was some good news and a nice surprise I'd really been needing here lately. Rest assured, there will almost definitely be an art piece talking about that stuff once I have it in my hands! 

____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

#fairy #enchanted #enchantix #enchanting #fae #faerie #magical #magical girl #magic #winx #winx club #galaxy #space #mixedmedia #digital art #traditional art #alcohol markers #colored pencil #acrylic #photoshop #photoshopcc

[womenintranslation]

Women in Amerindian Literature: an essay by Elisa Taber

(Image: armadillo carving, a handicraft of the Mbya Guaraní, the indigenous community the poet Alba Eiragi Duarte belongs to.)

Women writing in indigenous languages in Latin America are working to both decolonize hegemonic feminism and to counter systematic linguistic censorship. Their poetic discourse posits that women’s rights do not need to be individualistic but communal and that national identity needs to be multicultural. It is not why but how they write, and the range of languages they use, that makes their writings impossible to group together under the label “indigenous literature.” The Mixe writer and linguist Yasnaya Elena Aguilar Gil has rejected the standard binary imposed on literary production in indigenous languages in Mexico, “I have yet to find a common trait that justifies that a literature written in such distinct languages and that belongs to eleven disparate linguistic families shares any grammatical features or poetic devices that, together, can be contrasted to Spanish.” (“(Is There) An Indigenous Literature?”) The distinctiveness of each indigenous language and culture must be respected and the conception of a ‘minority’ literary category that homogenizes them must be questioned.

Those eager to discover linguistic, cosmological, and poetic diversity should read the work of the following contemporary women writers: Natalia Toledo and Irma Pineda, Zapotec poets; Ruperta Bautista Vázquez and Marga Beatriz Aguilar Montejo, Maya Tsotsil and Maya Yucatec poets, respectively; Liliana Ancalao and Faumelisa Manquepillán, Mapuche poets; Lucila Lema Otavalo and Eugenia Carlos Ríos, Quechua poets; Alba Eiragi Duarte and Susy Delgado, Mbya Guaraní and Jopara poets, respectively.

The community of Latin American writers and academics studying Amerindian poetry–especially Violeta Percia and Juan G. Sánchez Martínez–have generously shared with me the work of these contemporary women writers. I encourage readers to visit Sánchez Martínez’s multilingual digital collaborative anthology platform, Siwar Mayu. The digital nature of this anthology shows that, as Walter Ong posits, it is electronic, rather than print, media that makes visible the transgressions writing inflects on transcribed orality. The auditory and visual performance components of oral literature are rendered through multimedia; i.e. the translated text is accompanied by recordings and illustrations. A lyrical, fictional, or non-fictional piece is published in the original indigenous language as well as in Spanish and English, together with an illustration by an indigenous artist and an essay by an indigenous academic reflecting on the work’s literary value. The result, which is not simply the transcription but the multi-sequential and multisensory translation of oral literature, calls forth a secondary orality.

The poetry of these Zapotec, Maya, Mapuche, Quechua, and Guaraní poets present distinct modes of production, lyrical devices, and linguistic features that are jointly defiant of their Western counterparts. Their collections live between Spanish and an endangered indigenous language. They are crafted and distributed orally; transcription is a secondary and sometimes unnecessary step. Many are self-published in print or online, via social media. Language loses its weight this way; it becomes ephemeral, alterable, it ceases to belong to one person. However, the content is firmly rooted in the soil, sometimes focused on the quotidian–specifically, the act of boiling a potato–and other times on the metaphysical– specifically, the distance between life and death bridged by another conception of corporeality within time and space. I believe this poetry is excluded from the national canon of each country these poets belong to precisely because there is so much complexity encrypted in its apparent simplicity.

In this post I will introduce the poetry of the Paraguayan poet, Alba Eiragi Duarte, who writes in Mbya Guaraní (which is distinct from Jopara, a variant of Spanish-inflected Guaraní) and will discuss how her work is excluded by a definition of national literature so narrow that it has no place for indigenous poetries. Eiragi Duarte has introduced, illustrated, and self-published her collection Ñe'ẽ yvoty, ñe'e poty (Our Earth and Our Mother), writing bilingually in Spanish and Mbya Guaraní. The first section consists of sixteen of her own poems. The language and content are simple. The poems address ontological subjects: what it takes to survive, to cook, sleep, and work. Or what it means to be alive: the passing of the seasons, the transition from dawn to dusk, the birth and death of loved ones. The lines are short but read as sentences, almost like instructions. The language is formal and distant until speech erupts, In “Pore’ỹ” (The Absence), the third person narration shifts to the first with the lines

Che kérape rohecha,

che páype rohechase

che membymi porãite

I see you in my dreams and

when I wake, I wish to see you,

my daughter, my life.

Emotion is unmediated yet counters nostalgia with a sense of what is real now: her daughter is deceased and the narrator, alive. There is nothing mythical about these poems, if myth is defined as the attribution of human intentionality to the inexplicable or meaningless.

In her last poem, “Che Rata” (My Fire), day dawns, the narrator lights a fire and sets a sweet potato, a mandioca, and a kettle atop it. The poem ends with the lines, “che rata ikatupyry, / ombojy ha’uva’erã” (fire is vital, / it cooks food). Life appears to be as simple as waking. Regaining this clarity is a task that is as complex for the reader as it is for the author. The poet refuses to be distracted by the superfluous and encourages the reader to do the same. Alba Eiragi Duarte is, above all, an ethical poet. There is a circularity in each text that is intrinsic to the author’s conception of life and poetry: what is simple is complex and what is complex is simple. She has no need to resort to complex metafictional device to underscore this paradox.

In the second section, titled “Mombe’u añeteguaite Avá Ruguái rehegua” (The True Story of Avá Ruguái), Eiragi Duarte retells a religious myth. (In Guaraní Avá means man and ruguái, armadillo.) Avá Ruguái is like a man, but is more solitary, agile, and cruel. When men hunting in the jungle enter too deep to return before nightfall, he puts them to sleep and kills, quarters, and skins them. The poet recounts the story of the man who kills Avá Ruguái because Ruguái has killed his brother. In one scene, the narrator squats in the scrubland, watching Avá Ruguái lift his sleeping brother by the nape of his neck. There is something cinematic about the specificity with which corporeality in space is described. Time is ambiguous but the events that are recounted seem to occur in the span of one night.

The wilderness—its flora and fauna—is heightened by the descriptions and accompanying illustrations. It is as though the quebracho and palm trees witness the events as the readers do. Behind a low stand of thorn bushes, a man lies stiffly on the ground. The tips of his feet point right. He wears a dark shirt and light pants. His silhouette is delineated by the darkest line in the drawing. His eyes and mouth are lightly sketched, they fade into the white paper. He grips his hand over his abdomen. He seems dead, not asleep. Another man stands over him with a bow in his hands and a sack full of arrows on his back. Palm trees lean left and right in the background. The rigidity and lack of expression of the human figures is in stark contrast to the ornamentation and movement of the bushes and trees. The book’s illustrations underscore people’s inflexibility towards the elements of nature, which in turn adapt to them. The narrative shows the retribution of nature, embodied by Avá Ruguái, to the transgressions of humans.

Eiragi Duarte recites these poems and stories, transcribed on illustrated placards, to children in rural schools across Paraguay. This educational program counters the loss of knowledge of the Mbya Guaraní language and of sacred narratives. She comes from an oral or mnemonic tradition in which authorship is not individual but communal. The poet compensates for the transgressions writing inflects on transcribed orality by combining her poetry with stories that have been passed down to her and by illustrating both on the placards.

She aspires to create a national Paraguayan literature that is multilingual and multicultural. Yet her poetry is intrinsically untranslatable unless the conception of literature broadens to include her manifesto of social ecology. In the introduction to the book she not only posits an equality between genders but also between human beings and nature. By conceiving of human rights and authorship in a communal sense, and at the same time blurring the distinction between the social and ecological, she forces readers to regard the parts of a whole as distinct yet interconnected in new ways. Behind the apparent simplicity of these poems and stories lies a true reconception of reality and how it is rendered in fiction and poetry.

The term literature must be challenged because it reduces these verbally organized materials to a variant further developed by literate cultures. With respect to sacred narratives, the term authorship must shift from an individual to a communal definition. The narratives do not belong to the ones reciting them—they only author a version—but rather to the millenary indigenous cultures the reciters belong to. The history of the transcription and translation into Spanish of poetry from indigenous languages since the conquest has three stages. The first was carried out by missionaries; the second, by social scientists, specifically linguists and anthropologists; and the third, by writers.

I have featured the work of Alba Eiragi Duarte in this post because it speaks to the literary properties of the text, rather than exclusively to its cultural or linguistic aspects. She shows that the culture or language is not so much in danger of extinction as it is at risk of voluntarily subjugating itself through national aspirations to westernization. She also proposes that her translations are parallel versions of the original. It is only by challenging the terms “literature and authorship” that the national as well as the continental canon will be broadened to include indigenous poetry. Failing that, its lyrics will continue to circulate orally as common knowledge, but without validation as artistic works in their own right, not folkloric artifacts.

—Elisa Taber

Works Cited

Aguilar Gil, Yasnaya Elena. “(Is There) an Indigenous Literature?” Translated by Gloria E. Chacón. Diálogo, vol. 19, no. 1, Spring 2016, pp. 157-159. (Original article in Spanish published in March 2015 in Letras libres (https://www.letraslibres.com/mexico-espana/libros/literatura-indigena).

#Yasnaya Elena Aguilar Gil #indigenous languages #mixe #Siwar Mayu #zapotec #maya #mapuche #quechua #guaraní #womenintranslation #elisa taber #Alba Eiragi Duarte

[dotzines]

Artist spotlight: Siao Bell!

Commissions ✿ Patreon Instagram 

Header source: [X]  

Introduce yourself My name is Siao Bell and I'm an artist from Spain. Art is a big part of myself and I enjoy it in many ways as drawing, listening to music, watching movies, dancing...Right now the biggest fandom I'm into is K-pop, but I'm also influenced by Disney and Marvel Universe. When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I don't exactly remember when I started 'cause it's something I've been doing since forever. I can't remember myself without a pencil and a piece of paper. I'm mostly a traditional artist because I just love the way the physical mediums feel under my hands. It's the best feeling ever! Which mediums are your favorites? Did you try going digital? I work with ink as it is my favourite medium at this moment, but I also use watercolor, color pencils and mix-media. I'm always trying digital but it's a love-hate relationship with that medium. I like it, but I can't do it properly.

Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) I prefer traditional over digital because of the feeling. I think that someone can express better their feelings with something more "tangible" than with a "full-color" screen. What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? Honestly? Not being accepted in zines or collabs. I know I'm being petty, but it's what I see. Right now, the art is all about digital and technology, and people like me, it's becoming white noise in the distance. What inspires your pieces? Music, nature, art, movies...It's a long long list.

image source: [X]   Explain your "everyday" drawing process I'm usually just doing anything and then I have an idea. I start looking for reference, building up the piece in my mind. Then I spend a lot of time with the sketching, trying different poses, clothes (when needed), prompts, expressions, etc. When I decided, I take my paper and start drawing. I normally use a hard pencil at first for the basic forms, then I detail everything with a 2B mechanical pencil, and when the work is done, I start inking it. Usually it just finish there and sometimes I give it digital color or watercolor or color pencils. And sometimes I just draw without a plan and hope for the best. Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

I just leave the links because their art speak for itself. https://www.instagram.com/kimjunggius/ https://www.instagram.com/vetyyr/ https://www.instagram.com/_huiguorou/ https://www.instagram.com/yoann.lossel/ https://www.instagram.com/audraauclair/ https://www.instagram.com/petemohrbacher/ https://www.instagram.com/zipcy/ https://www.instagram.com/jawcooper/ Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why? Right now I don't have a favourite. It's hard to decided...

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? Always. I can't work without noise. I listen to K-pop or rock-pop bands, watch youtube, watch shows like Agents of SHIELD, Sabrina, GOT...

image source: [X]   What makes art interesting for you? I think the colors... What do you do when art block strikes? I usually try to draw something else because I can't stand inactivity, but if that fails I try doing something that it's not related with art. I don't like it but I take art-block as an off-day. What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

Do what you love, don't compare your art with others, and be true.

#Siao Bell #artist spotlight #red zone artists #red zone