#ok i'm switching tactics i think

[plushchimera]

can’t wait to discover all possible situations where I can plug in my dragon blood

paired with every obnoxious “I am magic” sorcerer-specific lines

#anya plays bg3 #ok i'm switching tactics i think #i'm gonna pick either gold or brass dragon #and just throw fire bolts #with predictably disastrous effects #yes i did test it a bit today #that's a lot of explosions #i've watched the intro cinematic #who knows how many times at this point #and it's still so damn cool #a little over 2 weeks till full release #time to get system requirements anxiety :)

[onyxbird]

OK, the idea of a soulmate au where you can't look anyone but your soulmate directly in the eyes was not done with me yet.

Leverage version:

Sophie knows all the tricks for faking full eye contact. For a third-party observer, it's nigh-impossible to tell that she's not quite achieving direct eye contact short of using cameras with very good eye-tracking software. Trying to fool a mark into thinking she's their soulmate via “eye contact” is tougher, but on a mark who hasn't met their own soulmate (and thus has never experienced true full eye contact), Sophie still has a pretty good success rate. Every member of the team has been drafted as her fake soulmate on a con at least once. Or, at least, Sophie has tried. Parker failed to pick up on any of the hints Sophie was able to drop without blowing their cover, so Sophie had to switch tactics. Hardison tried valiantly to hold the near-eye-contact, and they pulled off the job, but he was struggling and his resulting nervous blather did not help the illusion at all. Eliot picked up her cues and pulled off the illusion flawlessly… and hated every second of it. The first time they faked prolonged eye contact, he ducked away to Nate's bathroom the second they got in the door, and Sophie (slightly insulted) wondered if he was going to throw up. He didn't, just practically boiled his skin off in the hottest shower he could stand. Nate is by far Sophie's most frequent “soulmate” on the job… None of the rest of the team are entirely sure whether the eye contact is fake or not, and neither Nate nor Sophie is telling.

Parker has never had any interest in making eye contact, and was genuinely unaware that this was a serious thing people actually believe in. (Sure, people talk about finding their “soulmate” through eye contact, but people also talk about summoning Bloody Mary through the bathroom mirror. That doesn't mean it's real.) The first time she looked directly into Hardison's eyes was both accidental and jarring. She averted her eyes and assumed they would never mention this uncomfortable situation again. She was not expecting Hardison to suddenly want to have an intense, excited conversation that was clearly loaded with some meaning she wasn't picking up on, and she definitely wasn't expecting him to do so while trying to eagerly stare into her eyeballs. When Eliot happened to walk in, she latched onto him like a spooked cat, demanding he do something about Hardison; there was something wrong with him, like he's possessed or something; make him stop!

Eliot has habitually avoided even the possibility of eye contact with anyone since he was in high school. (He certainly wasn't trying to lock eyes with people even before that, but, well, he and Aimee had tried once, back when they were young and naive and thought maybe they were meant to be. They weren't.) In his line of work… it was better not to know. There was just no way that would end well. He doesn't have anything against other people finding their soulmates, though. Really. So he's not quite sure why there's such a bite to his words when he snaps at Hardison to knock it off—that “soulmates” is no excuse for trying to look someone in the eye when they don't like it. But he's sure he can feel a headache forming as he's stuck between Parker's “'Soulmates'! Ha! …Oh, come on. You're kidding, right? That's not real” from one side and Hardison's horrified “Oh my god, I'm sorry! Parker, I am so, so sorry—I was just so excited, you know? I didn't realize—” start of what was clearly going to be a long and heartfelt apology on the other.

Hardison thinks soulmates are very romantic, and he's always hoped, you know? He tries not to talk too openly about it—dreaming of finding your soulmate was deemed “girly” and “wussy” by the popular boys at his high school, and he had more than enough targets on his back for bullying as a kid without drawing attention this one. He's always kind of thought he'd probably never find his, if he even had one. He did so much of his socializing with like-minded people online, and you can't make eye contact—not real eye contact—over a webcam. There have been some near misses that made his heart flip (Hell, back during that first Dubenich job, when Eliot had taken out all the Pierson guards and then given him that smug little smirk, for an instant—just for an instant—Hardison had almost thought their eyes met directly. He must have imagined it, too caught up in the incredibly sexy and unexpected display of competence on display in front of him to avoid a split second of daydreaming about what it would feel like to look straight into those incredibly blue eyes. Anyway, it had never happened again, and after working together for so long, they surely would have looked each other in the eyes by now if it were possible.), but no dice. Until now. Parker, though… Even while apologizing (he should have realized to be more careful with Parker), Hardison could barely keep the absolutely giddy smile off his face. There had been no mistaking that, and god when people talked about “getting lost” in their soulmate's eyes… Wow, they weren't kidding!

Nate will expound at length about how the concept of “soulmates” and consequently the act of making eye contact have been exploited and commercialized for all of recorded history, the absence of any scientific evidence that the rare ability to make eye contact with another person actually correlates with any real measures of relationship compatibility rather than being a random biological quirk that has been superstitiously fetishized, and (if the person who brought it up isn't desperately trying to escape the conversation yet) whether the concept soulmates is compatible with Catholic theology. Very few people last long enough through his disparagement of the entire concept to notice that he has skirted around ever actually saying whether or not he's ever made direct eye contact with another person, and even fewer are willing to risk touching off another lengthy tirade to press him on the matter.

Thanks @soulmate-au-bargain-bin for the fun idea!

#soulmate au #soulmate eye contact au #leverage aus #leverage ot3 #leverage #soulmate au bargain bin

[fandomandfuntimes]

There's Two (Leviathan X Reader)

Location: Leviathan's room

Summary: Levi is embarrassed to get sexually intimate with MC. How could they possibly love him after his peculiar secret?

Notes: I’ve been thinking about Levi and MC making out and fooling around in his bathtub for the first time and I couldn’t get it out of my head so this fan fiction was born

What to expect: NSFW, Smut, Fluff, comforting, 2 dicks, fishlike Levi, blow job, stroking cocks, established relationship. (posted to Wattpad and AO3) I'm currently only caught up to chapter 32.

Things were getting pretty heated between you and Leviathan. It took him a bit to warm up to the idea that you wanted him. Why would someone want to date an icky shut-in like him? 

You, of course, knew why you wanted someone like Levi. He was kind to you, creative, artistic, and most of all he was so fun to share games with.

You sat in the bathtub playing your Switch, listening to Levi frantically click around to collect his daily rewards before midnight. It was cozy being in Levi’s room, anime music usually played softly in the background to cover up awkward silences and his typing was comforting; it reminded you that he was there. 

The clock hit midnight and you heard Levi’s hands smack the desk victoriously. Now that that was over, he came over to look at what you were playing.

“I’d recommend upgrading before continuing.”

You smile as you feel his breath tickle the back of your neck.

“Levi! I know how to play.” 

“If you say so. But I did see that you need 2,000 XP to be eligible for the boss fight and upgrading your sword would both be tactical for the final fight as well as give you the points that you need to enter the final battle. Especially since you made your last two upgrades, upgrades to your overall HP ones.”

You sigh and ignore his helpfully arrogant advice to inquire about his game. 

"So did you get all your dailies?" 

Levi's heart skipped a beat. He loved that you genuinely wanted to hear about his game.

"Yes! If you log in for 30 days in a row, you’ll get a special mystery skin for your character. Missing out on that would make me look like some casual normie."

You turned slightly to look at him and vented your mutual understanding. 

"I get it! I missed out on the holiday skins from last year, and it’s taunting to see other players posting about it.”

Levi nodded in agreement.

“So that means you’ll understand if I cancel/postpone any of our future plans this month it’s because I had crucial business to attend to?”

“Absolutely.” 

You playfully and sincerely place a small kiss on Levi’s lips, causing him to become flustered. 

"Hey! MC warn me, I have to be prepared for normie contact like that!"

You sat up a bit to lean over the tub and placed your face inches away from his. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Levi, I'm going to kiss you, ok?"

Your breath was hot and teasing against his lips. He nodded in shock.

"O-okay."

This time you didn't hold back. The kisses started out slow and deep but before you knew it, you were pulling Levi into the tub with you.

His hands caressed your back as you slipped your tongue between his teeth. He shuddered and melted into your kiss, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth. You purred as you felt his tongue brush against yours. Things began to heat up between your thighs and you let it build until…

…You couldn't take it anymore. Your arousal was hot between your legs and you just had to relieve it, it needed to be touched! You began to grind yourself against his massive bulge.

"Mhmm.."

Sweet moans of pleasure were released from Levi's mouth and into yours. Fuck he's huge you thought as you attempted to grind from underneath his kiss. You moaned greedily at the feeling of him pressed up against your heat.  

Things were going well. That was until you began to reach down to touch him and Levi anxiously grabbed your wrist to pull you away. 

"Sorry MC, but can we just make out some more? I mean unless you're done with that…I don't blame you for not wanting to continue. Who would want…"

Your lips connected with his shutting him up. 

"Levi I want whatever you are comfortable with. Just know that I do want you."

You longingly shove your tongue back into his mouth, pulling him deeper into the kiss by his shirt. You began to lick and suck his neck helping him quickly fall back under your spell when you find the most sensitive parts of it and flick your tongue across it. 

Levi grinds against you, falling victim to his arousal at that moment. Fuck what he wouldn't do to have sex with you, but he couldn't. He couldn't let you know about his little…big problem, you'd think he's a freak. But, oooh, he wanted you.

Levi began to lose himself in thought. His breath began to quicken and his attention became less involved as he bullied himself in his head.

You noticed and stopped to check on him.

"Levi, are you ok? We don't have to do this, you know."

He turned beet red. Now I'm ruining everything, MC is going to stop! What do I tell them? 

You sit up and adjust yourself to look into his eyes. He refuses to make eye contact as his thoughts swallow him whole.

"Levi?" 

Your concern only makes him more anxious, he gulps in an attempt to ease the lump in his throat. 

"MC…"

His long pauses cause anxiety to well up in you as well, and it shows on your face. 

Look, now you’re ruining their good time. Just say it! Say it! With his thoughts now ringing louder than anything in the room, Levi manages to yell out only two words. 

"THERE’S TWO!”

He caught his breath after the words as if he just ran a marathon. You squint your eyes at him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"I-I"

He places his hand on his heaving chest and then nods down to his crotch. 

"I-I h-have two penises." 

He manages to spit out the words between shaky breaths. You look at him, down at his bulge, and then back up at him.

"Can I see them?"

He blushes as he feels his cocks re-stiffen at your proposal.

"Like- them, them?"

He said in disbelief. 

"Yes, I want to see your two cocks."

His cocks twitched in his pants and he couldn't help but feel like a spectacle. 

"Levi…I won't make fun of you or think you're a freak." 

The look on your face was genuine and your words were sweet and comforting, how could he not comply? With a sigh, he looked away from you and pulled the front of his pants down. His two cocks sprung free, fully erect. You blushed and took a moment to process what you were seeing. Your long pause prompted Levi to begin to talk.  

"It's fine if you leave. Go ahead. I can tell on your face that your disg-"

You look down in awe and interrupt him.

"-Can I touch them?"

"W-WHAT? UH-NO!"

LEVI.EXE stopped responding. Touch them? MC wants to TOUCH THEM? What should I say? I mean I’ve thought about MC touching them, but to actually have them touch them. Levi was so paralyzed with the hundreds of sexy anxiety-ridden thoughts in his head that he almost didn’t correct his answer. 

“I MEAN-SHIT-UH NOT NO SURE, Y-YEAH IT’S OKAY IF YOU TOUCH EM.” 

His face glowed bright red. Levi isn’t used to being so honest. His eyes were glued to your hands as they both made their way to his cocks. You wrapped your hands tightly around both of them at the same time. 

“A-ah!”

Levi shook under the warmth of your touch, grabbing the edge of the bathtub to steady himself, it took everything he had not to cum right then and there. 

It would be so embarrassing if I came just from this. 

He thought, but that thought only made him harder. You began to slowly stroke his cocks in unison, watching yourself intently. You were mesmerized by such an interesting feature. 

Levi on the other hand was melting and squirming under each stroke. 

“O-oh. A-ah. MC.”

His eyes rolled in the back of his head and he collapsed into the tub when you spit on them to wet them. 

“MC…”

“I-I’ve got one other thing…”

He could barely get the words out of his mouth because you wouldn’t stop stroking him. You decided to have a little fun and placed your mouth over Levi’s cock and began to bob your head. That’s when. 

“U–h-h-h-h-h- MC.” 

Your eyes widen in shock as your mouth is filled with a peculiar feeling substance.

“My cum is also…”

Levi hands you his plastic take-out cup by the side of his bed and you spit.

“…fish eggs."

#smut #leviathan smut #obey me smut #obey me leviathan #obey me levi x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me fluff

[the-arctic-commune]

Oh PLEASE go on with Techno and accents and portrayal?

LMAO this came in within SECONDS congrats.

I don't really have a ton of citations for you. I think this shifted a lot as the dream-team-centric part of the fandom incorporated and learned about Techno as a person and not just Dream's rival, and if I'm being honest I don't have Thoughts so much as I remember having Thoughts in like mid-2021. General attitudes towards Techno shifted wildly from his “monotone,” “emotionless” reputation in early 2021, and the things I remember thinking about kinda stopped applying. I don’t remember what posts bothered me or why I wanted to bring it up.

But. People talk a lot about Techno's speech patterns, and it's true that in an industry that encourages getting as close to newscaster-neutral as possible, his voice can stand out a bit.

In early days when Dream and Techno were very much set up as rivals and people were trying to justify who would/wouldn't win in certain scenarios, it was actually pretty common to claim that Dream has more mechanical and tactical knowledge than Techno. Techno was cast as the brute-force fighter in these essays - comparatively unknowledgable but mechanically gifted. This is a really bad analysis - Techno’s knowledge of the things he cared about was encyclopedic, and his and Dream’s strengths are a lot more similar than they are different.

Where this intersects with voice is that in a US speaker’s perception, Dream has a pretty standard urban American accent, and Techno, as has been noted by fanfic writers everywhere, does not.

The most notable aspect that gets commented on is "g-dropping," the change of the "-ing" sound to "-in." People who don't do anything else to indicate peoples' speech patterns in writing will make sure they write down that Techno's sayin' something, not just saying it.

(This is called an "eye dialect," the use of a nonstandard spelling to emphasize a pronunciation.)

But that's far from the only thing that marks out Techno's accent. If you've watched his introductions to people (i.e. SMPEarth), you might notice that it's not uncommon for people to assume he's from the South, especially Texas, and to be surprised he's from California. The most commonly-known "California accents" are all very urban- and middle-class-centric, while features of Techno's accent (he can sometimes sort of "break" dipthongs and slur or drop syllables, and most especially the g-dropping) are more associated with rural accents in the US, and especially the rural South. And I don’t think that’s entirely dissociated from the way that so many people were so quick to assume, all evidence to the contrary, that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Obviously we don't know a whole lot about Techno's background, so I have no particular thoughts on how he ended up with the accent he did (though it sounds to me like it shares some features with the poorly-described "inland rural California English"). The only thing I can say is how it's perceived, which is as containing a lot of features that US speakers are going to mark as rural and working-class.

(A really fascinating part of this is his seeming inability to really code-switch at all; his Sir Billiam voice contains just as much g-dropping as his normal speech, whereas most people attempting to sound like a rich person would focus on speaking "correctly" and get all those nasals in the right spots. My own g-dropping is markedly more noticeable when I’m with my family than when I’m [location redacted]. But this is more sidetracking linguistics than... ok ok uh back to the point.)

Well... I guess like I said I don’t have much of a point any more, and I probably should have written this post a year back when I did. I certainly don’t have anything quite as obvious and pointed as Xeph’s discussion of how stereotypes about Northern England get applied to certain people (esp. Philza, Jack).

I just have, like, people talk a lot about Techno’s voice, and other blogs brought up a lot of really good points about how perceptions of his speech likely intersect with his ADHD and how neurodivergence can effect speaking patterns (speaking of which, a lot of neurodivergent people can struggle with code-switching! hmm). But I think an aspect that got missed sometimes is the way that those perceptions can also overlap with accent.

And also sometimes I see people pointing out Techno’s speech in a way they don’t for any of the other Dream SMP members. If there's one feature that you consider notable enough to mark while keeping everything else textbook, I think it's worth taking a minute to ask yourself why the feature stands out, and what connotations highlighting it might have. It’s not always a bad thing to do so! It’s just worth taking a second look.

#technoblade #dream smp #words #long post

[the-final-sif]

(Screenshot anon)

ok so that might've been a classic move for an alpha in like 2003 but times have changed and literally no alpha acts like that nowadays. even if he WAS trying to court Dream he wouldn't have done in a video like that - his reputation is entirely at stake.

taking care of someone when they're sick literally isn't posessive though???? Like ok Jimmy's head alpha of the pack and has to kind of fight to assert dominance because al of them (except Nolan) are also alphas but that has nothing to do with Dream??? if anything he was being a good friend and taking care of someone who was sick. they shared a tent so he could keep an eye on him. that's literally just normal friend behavior - he probably discussed it with SNF earlier and had Karl hang with them so they could enjoy antarctica without having to constantly take care of Dream.

He's literally just doing regular pack leader behavior - and he appears to be really good at it - taking care of a sick member, making sure everyone's not freaking out because a member of the pack is sick, keeping an eye on everything. Dude sucks sometimes but at least he's a good alpha.

As SC Anon (sorry, are we good to use nicknames ?) said, the video was HEAVILY edited. Like, we see Dream and Mr Beast going in for a hug when they get back from the moutain but it cuts ; Nolan sleeping in between the two so that the proper space and third party rule is respected (and like. SC anon said it themselves, Nolan is the only non alpha aka the only one not "threatening" ?? I don't think that is a coincidence) ; at the start of the video they're always next to each others ; that comment Dream makes about knowing MrBeast is pantless ?? Like how ?. We could even see in Dream's longer version (bless its soul) how close the two were originaly. There were definitely some moves made. And I'm pretty sure it's intentionnal Karl was so much with Sapnap and George, to distract them from their newly reunited pack mate. Also I disagree with the "terrible public move" bc nothing untoward happened, Mr Beast was a gentleman on all regards. But 1) he made it clear to Dream in survival conditions he was reliable and a good option 2) he showed it to the world ? Like call that neon flash of "Omega gets sick in Antartica, I manage to keep them perfectly healthy", that was a good boost for his reputation as a carer (not that should matter for alphas, and it pushes bad stereotypes, but that's how traditionnal - and they represent à good part of Mr Beast's audience - saw it). So it was a win for him on every point

And it appears a third anon has entered the fray,

(I'm third completely unrelated anon in the MrBeast saga) FUCK THE BEAST, OKAY. Look we all cringed and laughed about that freak over here who posted the Dream clone switcharoo bullshit in the main tags but now I'm seeing that shit from another angle! How the fuck else would you explain him switching secondary genders that fast?! That shit takes time, no meds or surgery is that good already. Beast did something I'm 100% sure of it, he already dabled in curing the blind, what if he asked Dream to test out a new drug or procedure? I wouldn't put it past him to use guilt tripping tactics, he just went oh please please do it for the poor people that can't have the way more complicated and way more expensive procedures done and Dream agreed. The beast having drolo moments, him staying close to Dream during Antarctica, him talking to George during the football charity match???? That shit confirms it. Motherfucker was keeping tabs on the process and how Dream was reacting to the change, if there were any side effects or complications. He wasn't seducing a sick omega or being a leading alpha or trying to find a partner, he was looking out for his bottom line! And some of you might try to refute it because its been a century since the omega testing facilities have been abolished but guess what, Omegan Healthcare Regulations, Section 14 Subsection 8 clearly states that its LEGAL to use omegas for testing specific substances and or procedures if the omega gives informed consent before any substances or procedures are administered. Even if the Beast got caught, and he will because Dream's immune system is weak as shit and will reject whatever the fuck was done to him pretty soon, he would still get no legal backlash because Dream the idiot would for sure back him up in saying it was fully consensual and that he was informed on all sides and still took the risk. This is a lose-lose situation and I fucking hate it so much!

#sif answers #Anonymous #omegaverse #sif speaks #dreamwastaken #dream team #Mr. Beast #Mr Beast

[jq37]

I'm really glad you've seen Starstruck, because it means you have the context for this. Every disastrous decision made this episode, were THOSE the stupidest things these people have ever done? I thought 'my farts smell awesome' was the lowest they could go, but look at that, they collectively found another layer beneath that. This has to be the biggest L the Intrepid Heroes ever took. Outside of a TPK, losing a Mcguffin is as rough as it gets. The RNG giveth and the RNG taketh away.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK, now that I have that out of the way, holy hell that last episode took a full year off my lifespan I think. Murph saying that it was like Fabian's Bad Day on a loop was right. I've never watched an episode of a ttrpg and thought, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" so consistently. Even after watching the Adventuring Party I'm not 100% confident I understand what some of those moves were about. I am going to try and break down by thoughts on each interaction, roughly in order from least to most baffling to me.

*Red and the Beast*

If this was as crazy as things went, it would have been a pretty normal episode. I fully understand why Ylfa would want to talk to the Beast being a monstruous princess and all. And Emily's side-motivation of wanting to maybe get some potions that would help them travel without freezing to death made sense as well. Sure it was a little awkward, but in the way that all pre-teens are sort of awkward around people who they think are cool. She didn't spill any serious beans or burn any serious bridges. This one gets a pass from me. 

*Ger and Elody*

It probably feels like I'm ranking this pretty low. And I am if we're talking in pure terms of cause and effect. Because loudly and weirdly spilling the beans the way that he did was a TERRIBLE move tactically and DEF alerted the princesses to their plan. BUT I wasn't CONFUSED about why it happened. Ger had a thing to do that made sense--find out if his wife was in on the erase everything plan and fill her in if not/try to convince her to switch sides if so. He had a reason to get frustrated and do something stupid. This was, in my eyes, a good plan that went poorly because of bad dice rolls and Murph's commitment to character. So while it was VERY unfortunate, I'm not actually confused about why the desperate frog man who is known for being awkward was weird and awkward to his wife in a dire situation so it didn't really frustrate me in the same way that some of the other scenes did. We also got one of one only pieces of new information in this episode--that it doesn't seem like Elody is in on the plan (though with his trash Insight rolls, who even knows). I wish he'd taken Roz with him to back up his story right away (and give him advantage of dice rolls). I also wish he'd brought Roz with him so she wasn't able to do her own solo mission. Speaking of...

*Roz and Snow*

This is not a conversation that needed to happen tactically. I was like, why is this going on? Just because everyone is having a little chat doesn't mean you have to have a little chat too. I will admit that by the time I got here, I was feeling so much second hand cringe that I missed a bit of the conversation. But I do know that Roz told Snow that she told the entire group about their chat and that they were fine with it. WHY TELL HER THAT??? The plan was clearly told to Roz with the understanding that it was for her ears only. Why immediately be like, "So I talked it over with the squad..." You're showing your hand! You're telling Snow you're not really aligned with the Daughter's of the Crown. If you were going to talk to Snow, why not try to figure out what the actual plans are wrt the erase the world endgame? They really don't know anything about the specifics of the plan. Just some nebulous talk about spilling ink. Why is no one asking questions about this? How are they supposed to stop a plan they don't understand?  Anyway, I think this conversation didn't need to happen and while it wasn't as disastrous in effect as Ger's convo, his had a good reason for happening while I don't think this one did which is why it frustrated me more. 

*Pinnochio and Cindy*

OK so this one frustrated me a TON because it had so much potential for getting information and moving the story forward but that's not what happened at all! As a sidenote, I was surprised but excited when they showed up at the castle and the Snow Queen fight was already over offscreen because I was like, "Man! We're going to get so much good information next episode!" Haha, nope! This conversation started off really strong with Pinnochio saying that they're kinda step-sibs which I thought was a great opener and something I hadn't really considered. I thought he was going to maybe bring up how the stepmother's goal seems to be fucking with stories (in a similar way to what they want) and seeing how she reacts. Or maybe following the thread about how she ALSO feels like she doesn't have agency in her story because she's a puppet of a narrative without even a name. And I don't want to assume but seems like Brennan was giving him the opening to go there like when Cindy was talking about "her own story" and Pinnochio was like, "She doesn't have one" Cindy seemed willing to talk down that thread but it was dropped really quickly. And this whole conversation had such a dissonant vibe where it was like Cindy was in Crown of Candy and Pinnochio was in Fantasy High or even Starstruck in terms of seriousness. Which, from a comedy standpoint, was extremely funny but from a narrative standpoint was like, Pinnochio...I'm begging you...please...ask her one direct question. Lou said he was playing up Pinnochio's childishness because he's a child in a weird situation which, sure I guess. But man. It was a very funny scene but not very narratively fulfilling.

*Pib and Cindy and a Window*

Pib readying the horses? The most competent move of the session! Pib unilaterally deciding to try to push her into her book? Why???? Like, OK. I wouldn't have told her about the book if I was Pinnochio--at least not without consulting the group. BUT once the proverbial cat was out of the book, why not let her have it? It might give her some perspective she doesn't already have and you might be able to sway her into being an ally. I feel like Cindy and Snow while true believers in the plan, aren't beyond reason. They don't strike me as gung ho about the entire situation. They give me the energy of people who are exhausted and on their last resort. I honestly feel like there is a world where this is all salvageable if they'd let her have her book without going full hostile. Maybe it's not the most LIKELY option. But I think there was a chance. But nope. Initiative. Even if they'd gotten her in, what's the next move? You're in a palace full of her allies and none of you have rolled more than a ten all session! Were you going to hold her hostage and run? Like, bruh. If they wanted to leave, they should have just left! Why did they make a whole production about it? I swear, they stayed in the castle the exact worse length of time. Not long enough to get any info, but too long to leave gracefully. Anyway, I thought this was a wild decision to just make. 

*Princess Interlude*

This isn't a part of the breakdown. This is just something I wanted to talk about. We really don't know how much the princesses know about The Situation and that's a big piece of the puzzle for us to know how BAD of a plan this is with the info they have. Because one of the few things we learned this episode is that Cinderella is surprised that the Stepmother doesn't have her own book. If they think that each person has their own book and they can write themselves out of existence without it affecting anyone else then this is actually a suicide pact and not a murder-suicide pact which still isn't GREAT but it's not WORLD ENDING which is decidedly less selfish. I still think it's an insane thing to try without having a full understanding of their world but if you're only playing with your OWN lives, then that's your right. 

And wrt to the PCs, since they were spilling the beans left and right, why not be like, cool. Ink spilling. Great plan. Now what about the Auroratory?  Because their stories don't just exist in ink. They're oral tradition, baby. I'm sorry you don't like your lives but ink spilling isn't going to solve everything. 

Finally, I need to go back to past episodes where the princesses are lamenting to be sure, but I'm honestly not 100% sure what it is they're so distressed about. There is an element of fighting for free will but I'm not sure what it is they think they don't have control over. Because surely if they had no free will, they wouldn't be able to fight their stories at all, right? And if it's just that they're stuck with all their memories from all their lives, Witches do that all the time, right? Can they just not handle the Everything, Everywhere, All At Once lifestyle because they're not inherently magical and they're cracking under the pressure? From what I remember from the previous episode, it sounded like Cindy and Snow were distressed over the *existence* of dark versions of their story which is why they wanted to destroy everything completely. But also, isn't darkness just a thing you have to accept if you're going to have free will? And also, I don't know that it makes sense to destroy the entire world just because there are timelines where bad things happen (especially when the worst things don't even happen to them). Who awakened these princesses in the first place? Based on the introductions, we're led to believe it's Cindy and Snow who were the first ones, but now that we've met Rapunzel, I have my doubts. And speaking of her, back to the list.

*Tim and Raps*

Tim what were you THINKING?????????

God, where to begin. Ally said they weren't sure if Raps was in on it or not two APs in a row which is baffling to me because I thought Brennan telegraphed it pretty hard that Raps was both very clever and very fake. We first hear about her trying to deceive the Baba Yaga (one of the SCARIEST NPCs who even DEATH doesn't fuck with) and getting away with her tongue intact. Then, on a really high insight check, the party learns nothing about her, except that she's so shiny you can't really read her. Suspicious as hell. THEN, we learn that she has hair that's everywhere that can potentially be used to spy on people. And when she describes murdering the Snow Queen, she says it in the most politician-y, obfuscate-y, side-stepping culpability way possible. YEAH. I THINK SHE'S IN ON IT. I am floored that it wasn't obvious that she was full team nuke everything. The twist to me would be if she was secretly GOOD. I was wondering if the was the actual mastermind, I didn't even realize we were discussing whether she was IN ON IT.

But like, OK. That aside. Whether you are going in thinking she's good and misled or fully in on it, THIS WAS AN INSANE WAY TO HANDLE IT.

DIRT IN THE SHORTBREAD???? TIM!!!!!!

If she's GOOD and just awkward from how she was socialized you're being weird and aggro to her. 

If she'd BAD and being manipulative you're being super clumsy and antagonizing her. 

AND THEN SHE STOLE THE BOOOK!!!!!!!

My heart SUNK when Brennan revealed that. Like, GOD I didn't think that could have gotten worse and then it did. 

And it's made worse because this is 100% a conversation that didn't need to happen. If I walked in and Raps was there, at most I would ask her about how her hair worked so we maybe knew for tactical reasons. That's not a crazy question to ask a person with magic hair that's everywhere so she wouldn't necessarily have a reason to be suspicious. And then guess what? I'm GONE. Just, based on second hand embarrassment and mechanical effect (LOSING THE BOOK), this is by far the worst conversation all episode and that's saying something.

(Also, RIP Mira who's going to wake up to a VERY different situation than when she went to sleep.)

The last thing I want to say about this episode is I kind wish that either Roz or Ger or both had died in their rescue plan. Not as a punishment mind you. While it was a tactically bad move, I think it's totally in character that Ger would have tried to go back for his wife and that one of his friends would have joined him. But we haven't had that many deaths this season and I feel like some more death exposition might give us more about what's going on. Because I feel like we only have a small piece of the puzzle, and there's not that many eps left to go. You know how in Stranger Things, the plot always ends up split between three groups and none of them actually know what's going on until they all communicate in the penultimate episode? That's how I feel right now except it's the PCs, The Princesses, The Faries, and the Librarians.

It's also potentially illuminating for Elody if the princesses are willing to kill Roz and Ger (I assume they'd bring back at least Roz). And if they were split up from the main party, that's an interesting place for them to be story-wise.  (Also, if they brought back Ger but were like Elody he's in the dungeon, don't talk to him he'll fill your head with lies. But she visits him anyway, just like when he was a frog at the pond...but I'm just writing mental fanfic now.) My point is there was potential there for us to get interesting info (and story beats) there which is why I was kind of rooting for it. This whole episode was a big bust with regard to moving towards any sort of goal and they really just made their situation severely worse to no real end. And now the princesses who want to end the world have the most powerful device in all of story. 

Yay. 

(Coda: Where is Scher with her "We're real enough" energy to talk the princesses out of their spiral? For the love of story, I am losing my mind here.)

#dimension 20 spoilers #dimension 20 #neverafter #neverafter spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #asks #farmer 10 #this turned into a whole ass essay #did not mean for that to happen #for the record I'm not mad at the players or wagging my finger at them or anything like that #i've done my fair share of dumb shit in dnd #ask any of my partymates and they will tell on me #I'm just looking at it from the POV of wow they did not go how they planned #i can't resist a good dissection #i do not know how they're going to solve this #they mentioned the baba yaga but I don't think they can handle her lol #scher would be a better option if they could reach her #or maybe they could do an enemy of my enemy with the fairies? #we'll see #'my farts smell awesome' is one of the funniest things that happened in d20 #i would take ten of those over one of these any day

[justvibewithjas]

𝚃𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚞𝚗 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚄𝚙

Content Warning: Barely any plot, he's a gentleman, consent is hot, fem!reader, switch!König

3RD PERSON POV:

Y/n walk out of the barracks in her citizen clothes. She's filled with the anticipation of going home to her actual bed and she can't wait to get home. She so tired from missions. She looks down at her phone when she bump into something and out of instinct she pulls back and punches whoever it is in the gut.

He lets out a surprised grunt as he falls down and gasps for air.

"Ow- What was that for," He asks. Oh shit its König.

"Im so sorry I didn't mean to do that," She says cupping her mouth.

"It's fine," He says and gets back up.

"So um König would you like to go for a coffee sometime so I can make up for that," She says awkwardly and scratch the back of her neck. Please don't hate me. She thought.

"Hmm... yeah, I think I would. How often do you get days off? I know that we'll be busy on ops so it might be tough finding a good time. You want to trade numbers?," He responds. He's already reaching over to his tac-pack, looking ready to pull out his phone.

"Yeah sure. I have next week off so I'll be at my apartment off base for awhile," She says.

He smiles.

"Ok, here's my number," He says. She reaches for her phone and puts his number in.

He types in her name, then turns his phone around and hands it to her. She puts her number in and gives it back.

"What do you like to do in your free time," He asks.

Without thinking words come out of her mouth.

"You," She says and cups her hands on her mouth. Y/n's cheeks burn red. "I am so sorry."

He blushes a little.

"Well, I didn't see that coming. I guess your moves are pretty effective, huh," He says.

She just accidentally hit on him but he doesn't seem to mind in the slightest bit.

"Almost always," She says.

"Almost always? Well now I'm curious about those times it doesn't work. What happens when it doesn't work," He says laughing.

"Oh I was joking I get what I want pretty easy," She responds.

He grins and nods before responding. "Alright, so it's an almost guaranteed yes when you ask? Just need to figure out what your type is,"He says and winks. He winked at her. He smirks and laughs.

"Oh I like my men big and tall," She replies coyly.

"I'm definitely tall but... big? In height or width?," He says as he flexes his muscles. She can't help but laugh at him he's adorable.

"So you think that you're my type huh," She retorts. He smiles and speaks again.

"We're gonna have to see about that," König. His eyes twinkle a little bit and she can tell he's smiling from his eyes. "Well, I can't turn down a pretty face, so I'd say you're my type too. Are you single or do I have some competition?"

"I'm single," She responds.

"You're definitely my type, so that gives you a pretty good advantage." He smiles. " Hmm, so what's your idea of the perfect date? Dinner? Movies?," He is still smirking. This is the most she's ever heard him talk.

"A movie night in with a good home cooked meal and snacks is good with me," She responds.

"Ooh. Do you like ones that are really scary? I'm always trying to find a good horror to scare the pants off me - those are the best kind. Or do you kinda like those campy movies that are more goofy? We could get some snacks, cozy up, and binge watch a bunch of them," He says. It's funny to imagine the giant König scared of a simple film.

"My favorite are the scream movies," She replies. She adds in quickly "I also kinda think Ghostface is hot,"

"Scream. That's the one with the "phone call from the killer" theme, right? I always thought those kinds of movies were kind of silly, but I could be interested if you watch them with me." He smiles and blushes a little. "So what do you think of guys in tactical face mask? Do those count?"He says while pointing at his mask. She turns red a little but answers him.

"I don't mind it. Oh wow," She says and checks the time on her phone."Hey I gotta go. Text or call me when you wanna come over for that movie marathon pretty boy."

He chuckles and leans in close to her.

"You got your work cut out for you," He whispers in her ear. "I'll be in touch." He smiles in that moment, then turns to walk away, looking back over his shoulder.

"Have a good one, pretty girl," He winks and chuckles a little as he walks.

****

Over the next few days they text constantly and one night they even called, both of them fell asleep. Both of them are starting to develop heavy feelings.

Y/n is in her kitchen washing dishes when she gets an idea to call König and invite him over.

He picks up his phone with a smile on his face. He takes a minute to clear his throat before answering.

"Yello? This my pretty girl?" He says with a light hearted tone. His voice is pleasant and calm. "How are you doing today?" It's clear that König's happy to hear from her and has been thinking about her since they talked last.

"It is. I'm good I was wondering if your free for that dinner and movie marathon tonight," She asks.

He smiles over the phone and looks at his calendar. "Well, would you look at that... I do happen to be free tonight," He says.

"Good because you're gonna get the crap scared out of you," She says laughing. "Be here at 7 okay," She adds.

He laughs a little at the way she said that.

"Alright, 7 o'clock it is. I'll see you then," He says with a warm smile in his voice before hanging up and getting ready for his date with his "pretty girl".

Time flies and before he knows it, it's around 7. He grabs his car keys and makes sure he looks good before walking out to his Jeep. In order to be on time, he starts his Jeep up and begins driving in her direction. He stops and gets some flowers. He pulls into the parking lot and he smiles to himself as walks up the stairs of her apartment building. He quickly jogs up to her door and knocks. As he waits, his heart is beating a little faster and his palms start to get sweaty. Is this girl serious about me? Or was it just a passing flirtation? He knocks again and as he feels a little nervous, wondering if he's come to the right place. She opens the door with a bright smile. He flashes a huge smile, happy to see her.

"You look beautiful," He says with a warm and genuine tone. He looks you up and down, admiring her overall appearance. He holds out the flowers and her smile grows a bit bigger.

"Wow that's so sweet of you," She says and takes the flowers from him. She steps out of the way and allows him inside her apartment. He comes inside and looks around. It's a nice place . "Y'know I didn't need flowers right. However I am not complaining about getting flowers from a cute guy.

He blushes a little from the compliment but holds his composure.

"Just trying to treat a beautiful woman with the same respect she deserves," He says with a light chuckle. Her face flushes but she turns around and goes to grab a vase for the flowers from the kitchen. He follows her and leans against the counter. "It smells good in here what did you cook," He asks as he crosses his arms.

"Vodka pasta and it's just about done. You go sit down, I'll bring it over in a second," She says as she puts the flowers into the vase.

"Oh okay," He responds and sits at the island on a barstool. He watches her grab the pot and a bowl of salad. She sets the down and grabs glasses and a bottle of wine. He can't help but be amazed with her. She moves in such fluid movements. Her shirt hugs her chest perfectly. Her jeans are tight on her thighs and her ass. His face gets red just watching her and he has to look away.

She serves him a plate of pasta and salad and then serves herself one. She sits down and pours them both a glass of wine.

"I hope you like it," She says before taking a sip of her wine.

"I'm sure it will be lovely," He says and grabs his fork to try it. He takes a bite and his eyes widen.

"Is it bad," She asks.

"No it's wonderful mein liebling," He says smiling at her. Her face flushes slightly at his words. She smiles back at him.

After they finish eating she leads him into the front room and they sit down on the couch. She puts the first Scream movie on. They get to the part where Sidney has the Ghostface mask on.

"Wow she's really messing them up," König says. She looks up at him. Sometime during the movie she got closer to him. His arm is wrapped around her and he's holding her close.

"Yeah she is. She's one of the best final girls in horror films," She says looking back at the screen.

"You are absolutely gorgeous." He says his hand coming up and stroking her jaw. His thumb drags across her bottom lip. Her face reddens but she leans into his touch. "May I," He asks leaning towards her.

"Yes," She closes her eyes and leans the rest of the way in. His lips are surprisingly soft. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss. Using his left hand he pulls her closer to him by her waist. She straddles him and wraps her arms around the back of his neck. His hands feel up her thighs and he squeezes them. They pull back and both of them are panting and both their faces are flushed.

"You're a good kisser engel," He says looking up at her. Her face flushes slightly more at the nickname.

"Oh shut up and kiss me again," she says and pulls his face to her and smashes her mouth to his. He groans and grabs her ass. She slowly starts to grind down on him. Her hips moving in circular motions. His breath hitches but he pushes up against her. He craves her touch.

"You're driving me crazy," he breathes out. She smiles against his lips before answering him.

"Good,"

"That's it. Bedroom," he says.

"Down the hall all the way back," She responds. He scoops her up and carries her to the bedroom. He tosses her onto the bed and she laughs as she bounces on the mattress. He walks closer to her and she pulls him all the way to her by his belt loops. His hand reaches out and caresses her jaw.

She unbuckles his belt and hooks her fingers into his pants she pulls them down. His gasps a little as the cool air hits him. Y/n reaches out and slowly starts to stroke him. His hand leaves her jaw and grabs a hold of her shoulder to ground himself.

"Ah," he groans and his head falls forward. She speeds her hand up. She slides from the bed down onto her knees. She takes her tongue and licks from the base of his dick up to the tip. She swirls her tongue around him before taking him into her mouth. His breath catches as he feels her do this. She bobs her head on him fast taking as much of him as she can. She looks up at him and his face is flushed bright red. He whimpers as he places his hand on her head. She uses her hand to stroke him as she takes him into her mouth.

The sudden movement takes him by surprise, and a little yelp comes out of him, "Wow..."

His head jerks back a little with the movement and then he takes in a deep breath and leans back in the bed.

He smiles a little and says, "I'm guessing you liked that?"

"You're pretty sensitive here." She says.

He sighs, "You're just gonna tease me, aren't you?" He chuckles and shakes his head a little bit.

"Maybe...maybe not."

He looks at her as she touches his skin and says, "I really don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

He laughs to himself and says, "I'm just really surprised at how this all went. I didn't think this would go this far."

She leans forward and licks from the base and up his shaft. She kisses his tip and swipes her tongue across his slit. She nods before taking him into her mouth and moving up and down on his shaft. His eyes open with surprise, his mouth hung open a bit, "Woah..."

He sighs and adds, "Well, you're doing that just right."

His face still flushes from the sensations and he's a little speechless. She smiles and looks up at him. Drool is leaking down her chin as she does this. He closes his eyes a little bit and enjoys the feeling, letting her do most of the work. He looks back back at her and smiles softly, "You're having a little too much fun doing that."

She mumbles something and it sends vibrations through him. He gasps a little and tilts his head to the side, not quite expecting this.

"W-what did you say?" He asks softly, clearly not hearing her right. He smirks again and laughs, "You can't mumble with your mouth...being all occupied."

She laughs around him. "Mm hmm," She looks up at him bobbing her head faster. He whines and tangles his hand in her hair. He starts bucking his hips up into her mouth. His voice fails him as he chases his release. After a moment he thrusts up into her mouth hard and cum leaks down her throat. He falls back against the bed panting. She smiles and swallows everything. Licking the side of her mouth to get some of the fluid that leaked out.

"Fuck Y/n," He groans covering his face his chest raising and falling quickly.

"You all tuckered out König," She says teasingly.

He smiles down at her. "Not in the slightest." He runs his finger across her bottom lip and pulls her to him by her throat.

"Oh?" She groans feeling her body heat up.

"Pants off now," He says. She obliges him and takes her clothes off. He lays back and grabs her thigh and lower back. She gasps as he rubs against her clit. He pushes her thighs apart and pushes himself into her.

"Oh fuck," She sighs and her head falls back.

"Mhm hmm," He groans and his hands squeeze her hips. He slides his hands up and down her thighs as she starts to move in slow circular motions against him. She whines as his dick rubs against her g-spot.

"König!" She groans and holds onto his shoulders as he starts to thrust up into her hard. She wraps her arms around his neck and buries her face there as well. She was drowning in the feeling of him Every thought she had was of him. How he looked. How he smelled. Everything. She was being consumed and she wanted to be swallowed by him. She wanted him. No she needed him.

"Y/n," He whines into her ear. God the way his voice sounded made her weak. His arms were wrapped around her as he thrusted up to meet her movements. "Y/n please don't stop...I'm...I'm so close."

That confession. That drove her mad. She bit into his neck marking him as hers. There was no way she was letting him go. Not when the way he touched her set her skin on fire and especially not when she was so utterly entangled in him. Everything before him seemed so fruitless.

"Cum for me König," She whispered into his ear tugging his hair slightly at the nape. His hands found her hips and his pace became ungodly. His voice becoming whiny and breathy as he chased his release. His hands dug into the soft flesh of her hips pulling her up and down on him. She groaned and bit down onto his shoulder. Her own release was approaching as well. That oh so familiar knot was forming in her stomach. Begging to snap.

"Y/n~," He whimpered and thrust up into her one last time. His fluid coating her insides sent her over the edge and her back arches as she hit her high. Both of their fluids leaked down her thighs. Flowing down to his v-line and onto the bed below. Neither of them moved for a moment as they clinged to each other.

"That was great. You did such a good job König," She said smiling at him. She felt him twitch and saw his face redden at the praise. She smiled to herself when she realized the meaning of that reaction. "You good to go again I'm assuming." She said lift his jaw up so his eyes met hers. He nodded eagerly with cheeks a slightly redder tone.

She pushed down on his chest and guided him down towards the bed. She smiles down at him. Unknown to her, he was enthralled with her as well. When her voice rang out and complimented him on pleasing her, he decided that he wanted nothing more than to do that. To make her his and to spend the rest of his life with her. This was the beginning of the end for them.

#reader has no flight just fight #könig x reader #fem!reader #switch!könig #konig mw2 #pet names #i love him

[finniestoncrane]

the sub/switch riddlers as needy babies, please? i know you wrote the sub thing already (🥰) but i need to see them whining and nuzzling into their s/o because their s/o isnt giving them what they want fast enough 😣 i think it would be excellent seeing arkham eddie get embarrassed because he wasnt the one in control this time 😈

lmao ok anon i am so sorry all the editing for this got fucked when i queued it yesterday (and yet 9 likes within the hour, for what was a keyboard smash, i am... confused) BUT ANYWAY here's a little brief thing because i was trying not to write today i'm so sorry omg 💚

who we deeming switch/sub riddlers? because i picked young justice, arkham, dano, unburied and, much to his absolute fucking chagrin capullo/zero year

dano!riddler is exactly the type of whinging baby who would nuzzle you like a cat, slamming his head against you over and over again until you stopped to scritch the top of his head and brush back his silly self-cut bangs. he'd be sweet about it, trying to be all cute and blinking his silly big eyes at you in an attempt to convince you to do what he wanted, which is literally just stroke his arm and tell him he's enough

young justice!riddler is a self-pitying little attention whore who absolutely hits out with a "no it's fine if you don't have time for me" because he's more comfortable martyring himself. also he probably believes that he's not worth your time. he'd keep his distance, but he'd be making sure to sigh and tut loud enough that you can hear him from wherever you are

arkham!riddler would be completely shocked at his own inablity to keep his cool. if he's a sub, he's a begging, pleading, whining, near tears in desperation kind of sub. he'd demand attention in a sort of surreptitious way, looking at something over by his desk and giving it all "ooh...interesting" until you came over to see what he was doing and spend time with him and then the way he couldn't contain his own glee would have him cringing

unburied!riddler would get his way through the tactical warfare efforts of whining and irritating. prodding, poking, tugging sleeves and hair, singing annoying songs and then looking at you with a face that says "you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses" because you wouldn't, but he makes it really tempting sometimes

capullo!riddler goes in huffs. he's a whiny little bitch who will storm out of a room at the first sign that someone isn't giving him what he wants, and will then storm in with "AND ANOTHER THING" before leaving again, only to come back in once more and apologise with his mouth almost completely closed, eyes not looking at you, offering a weak attempt at a handshake to make up before he goes back to the cycle. bitch behaviour

#finnie writes

[gayshrug]

episode 1 brainrot

this show is gonna be so much fun. i was vaguely uncomfortable and embarrassed throughout the entirety of the episode but the vibes and absurdity and "twists" (and cock) kept me 100% entertained.

thoughts i want to immortalize:

that entire first bit before the intro, with the monologue and crass imagery (and first wanking it out to set the tone)? 10/10, loved that.

the intro itself was horrendous. they couldn't have chosen worse photos for the cast if they'd tried. congratulations.

some of these dialogue choices are hilarious. bad-hilarious and great-hilarious and i had to pause. a lot. "i can feel your dick on my arm" broke me

the friend group is messy from the get-go. like, we're not witnessing The Entire Messening through the show, the mess has already happened and we're only adding to it. i'm so intrigued by the captain thing... but it might just be a red herring.

CAPTAIN. the prettiest flower (to me). i feel a bit cheated.... could we have maybe swapped one or two scenes of first jerking off to get a bit more of him............

i feel very ambivalent towards zouey. i feel for him, i do, but he's WEIRD. in an endearing way hopefully but that scene of him jacking off to the painting was super unsettling. idk if that was meant to be the missing twin but...... hello? (i'm a weirdo artist who's into hentai and yaoi myself so i kinda get it to a certain extent but girl.........) (also stop jacking off in class) (still don't want you to get your heart broken though) (love the laptop stickers)

got VILE vibes off tits man the moment he got off that motorcycle. glad to be proven right. HOWEVER.... tits.

first and soong are so...? ik the twist of the baddies drinking and scheming wants to make me believe first is gonna suffer like zouey's gonna but. judging by the teasers... aren't first and soong basically gonna swap roles? they're gonna switch haircolors even. is that gonna be another bait-and-switch, soong getting caught and pretending he changed his ways and then betraying first a second time? can't wait

someone PLEASe tell me how they interpreted the pizza scene because i still. think it looked like first was watching porn and looking at anatomy books and jerking off onto his dad's desk and i don't know how to feel about it. i support you though, baby

i CANNOT believe the evil (? righteous?) twin showed up like that, bad colored contacts and all, and read all of his brother's friends like that??????????? WHAT'S YOUR TACTIC? it was hilarious though

the preview for the next episode looked great. i think i might be in this till the end.

also, not to pit two pretty girls against each other but first's head game was SO strong compared to zoueys. wait... zouey's a virgin so it makes sense actually but re: believability.... first/ chat you're a fucking champ.

the way those briefs were stuffed HELLO why does soong have a bulge the size of a softball

ok i've gotta stop but. it's gonna be soooo messy and ridiculous (and hopefully dark). i'm very much into it

#i hope this got it out of my system for now fhksdjf #also first's actor is soooo pretty. he and captain are the ones i'm mainly attracted to. am i into twinks now #playboyy the series

[sammytheotakunerd]

𝑴𝑪 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒘𝒂𝒑?

Chapter 1: Part 3: "Mentality and grades"

A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything, just had a tough week, that's all.

Summary: What if MC from MC is too kind and MC from the original universe swap souls? Would it be a blessing in disguise? Or would it be just blatant disaster?

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑[~start of chapter 1: part 3 "Mentality and grades"~]

Another day with the brothers ignoring you. It's ok. You tell yourself. Nothing was ok. Nothing was normal at all! But you're dead set on your goal as of now.

You needed to fix your reputation while figuring out how to switch back to your original alternate universe.

To be at least truthful here, you were uncomfortable the whole time at class yesterday. If this is what your version has to deal with every day, then you really would need a medal.

A medal for being the kindest, patient, and nice person in this cruel world. Maybe they really are an angel.

But do they really know that I'm Lilith's descendant? Maybe they don't judging from their faces.

You ate your food, but the portion was big. You were also getting full, and you didn't want to be bloated before going to RAD. "Hey Beel, do you want some?" You asked the orange haired man to which he excitedly nods and pulled your plate away from you.

You noticed Belphie staring disgustingly at you. He was looking as if you just fed poison to his twin. Now what. You pretended to not notice Belphie's weird stare and just smiled as 'usual'.

"Th-mfgh-ank-" Beel said in between eating. "Pls refrain from eating and talking Beel." You lightly scolded Beel. You tried to sneak a look at Belphie.

But would you look at that. he's sleeping. I should've expected this.. You thought disappointedly. Not at him but for yourself.

But there's no time for this. You've always hated miscommunications troupes. Maybe he thought you're bad..?

Probably You're really thinking too hard about this. You have your first plan and that was to save your reputation first. Problems with the brothers can be fixed later on.

How can you fix it without proving yourselves first? It would take a really long time, but Simeon and Luke are here. You know that with them you'll have your sanity back. At least for a bit.

The angels are like refreshers while the brothers are the salty asf meals.

"MC some with me to my office." Lucifer's voice was too damn cold. But it was effective on having his words ring consistently in your mind.

What the fuck. This was the first time you're going to talk to Lucifer after you swapped. "Right.." You can only obey.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Lucifer's office gives you nostalgia. The way the both of you drink tea, you calling him nicknames, and YOU being the absolute favorite. The one that almost never gets scolded as much because of the famous words: ✨Favoritism✨

You know that you're the favorite and take full on advantage on it. Just not as much. Lucifer is kinda like a ticking time bomb, so you hopefully didn't want to get caught in his bad times.

"I hope you know why you're here MC." Lucifer said so disappointingly. "Huh?" Woops, wrong move, Yikes! He looks pissed! SHIT You may look calm, but on the inside, you're practically screaming at yourself.

It was instinct, ok?

"Let me remind you again on why you're here, MC L/N." Oooooohh, he's using the FULL NAME tactic! You're a bit taken a back. Maybe this is to get poison on your wounds, or was it salt? But anyways, you've never been scolded by Lucifer. Not like this.

He'll give you your punishment and that's it. Maybe I've been spoiled too much, AUGH Mentally groaning won't help.

"You're here because as of late-" Fancy words, I like it~ Cheesy words while saying it mentally isn't going to help. But you can't help but wonder what did this version do to annoy Lucifer, WHO, quote on quote, "Loves you (And that's why he spoils you-)".

"-Your grades are declining." What. That's it? You've never really had a hard time about this. Sure, you had a hard time in the beginning. But a thought crossed your mind. Oh? Maybe it was because Solomon was teaching me magic the same time. But if we're looking at the Solomon here.. Yea no. Poor you.

You had to be patient with their attitudes, and you also needed to maintain your grades. You in this world sure has it rough. You could say that you're lucky.

"How are you this stupid?" Your focus is on Lucifer now. You were shocked but the muscles in your face won't move. You really had adjusted so much.

You pretended to look shock at the next, looking so shocked at what he said too. "W-what?" You said, purposely stuttering so you can give out that your 'shell' shocked.

Lucifer stared at you in disbelief. "You had all the time in the world to do this! I will give you one more chance. Don't mess up Lord Diavolo's reputation." you don't know what to say. Maybe; "Ok."? No, that'll be a too straightforward answer. It'll blow your cover.

You decided to be confident. "I can make my grade higher than Satan's." Straightforward and you don't like it. And it's pretty obvious Lucifer didn't like it too.

"You've been saying that for the last month and there are still no improvements." Ok, bad part on your version in this alternate universe. You can understand Lucifer's annoyance but why now? Talk about bad timing.

Lucifer turned away and just sighed. He really looks so tired. "Then fine. I'm giving you one last chance to fix your grade at the end of the quarter." He turned to look at you. "Fix it now or else." You could only think about what he would do to you.

But getting afraid when you've already made it this far is just.. annoying.

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑[~start of chapter 1: part 3 "Mentality and grades"~]

Taglist: @candydreamer122

#obey me simeon #obey me satan #obey me fanart #obey me l #obey me! #obey me angst #obey me swd #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me belphegor #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me fic #omswd #obey me mammon

[kindestegg]

Alright, so as per anon's request, let's review everything wrong with the statements made by the person they claim to have messaged on Discord.

First off: "Collector controls who King is allowed to be around, and for how long."

Literally contradicted entirely by canon. Collector does not give a single flying fuck that he's talking to Eda and Lilith here presumably behind his back and in fact only checks when prompted to do so, if anything it's implied King doesn't know he knows but he won't say anything for King's comfort, only caring when it sounds like he may be in danger. There's also a "citation needed" here for the how long bit too, literally at no point in time is it ever stated he's keeping track of how long he spends away from their room. Next.

"Collector is the one who decides what kinds of games they 'play' (...)"

"We've been playing pretend forever, King. It is fun, but, what if we switch it up?"

Again, literally contradicted directly by canon. If anything it's implied it's King who has full control of what they play and Collector is trying to gently suggest something else before getting shut down.

It is correct Collector lashes out at King for telling him to play nicer. I'm not arguing with that. However I will direct you to this analysis of mine that showcases there's more to this than meets the eye, namely Collector's inability to question the Owl House game and expect this to be just how the game is played, not understanding why King is now telling him to stop. This is further backed by the rough and clean storyboards for the same episode and around the same scenes seen here.

Next.

"Collector makes King feel guilty for not being completely devoted to Collector-"

Citation needed. This is not something that is ever shown in canon, I can only guess this is this person's projection and trying to make sense of King's very real care for Collector. Next.

"and setting boundaries with him, and tries to manipulate him into giving up said boundaries (King definitely made it sound like they had the conversation about Francois multiple times before)."

Blatant misreading of canon at best and at worst straight up another contradiction. The scene here depicts a compromise, and I would advise you now to remember these are fictional characters being used for a narrative, and ask yourself first what the writers intended.

"You won't give this to me? That's okay, but can we meet halfway at least?" is basically the key idea here I imagine the writers intended. Reminder every time Collector asks for François it's posed as a question ("can I"), not a straight up demand which is more common for abuse tactics ("let me", "give me", "you need to", as just some examples of more abusive wording).

"And King never looks happy or like he's enjoying himself around the Collector."

Straight up contradicted by canon. Again. (Ok I know technically the first one is a glare but the intention of adding is that they're clearly acting together.)

(Closing eyes happily not made necessary by the game, done spontaneously.)

(Neutral at worst and at best positive.)

(Sitting normally, not panicking even when flipped, again neutral at worst and positive at best. Implied to be a fun activity to share.)

For the sake of not being nitpicked at, I won't add also the rough and clean storyboards, but those also reveal that King was very often depicted being happy around Collector and this was likely toned down in the final version to keep suspense over their relationship. I don't think King would blush at some point at him if he hated him.

"But all I ever see is people gushing about how much Collector 'cares' about King, and how he tries to 'protect' King and acting like it's cute."

Bonus round! Aw, are you talking about little old meeeeeee? That's so cute, but you missed out on all my deeper analysis I'm sure, or haven't been enough attention! Come on, say it to my face, I promiiiiiiiise I don't bite <3

Thank you for giving me something to play around with anon! I've been so bored and antsy with everything going on with my life and the finale just around the corner, so it's a nice shake up to be asked for a good debunking! Can I hang out with the cool kids like mossbag now?

#Commander's orders #im not tagging this im just having fun rly

[penroseparticle]

all the primes, gaymer

Platform of choice when gaming? I'm a switch gamer these days, but my end all be all was the PS2.

Top 5 games of all time. FINAL FANTASY TACTICS, LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST, PERSONA 5, MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 2, and POKEMON RED VERSION. No I am not taking criticisms.

Favorite boss? I would have to say... Well, I said Whispy Woods already but if I have to pick another, I'm gonna say Shadow Sae from Persona 5. The whole setup around the Casino actually fucking slaps.

Most memorable gaming moment? I went into the Weigraf vs. Ramza fight completely blind in Final Fantasy Tactics and won my first time in, then won against the zodiac beast in the second phase, also first time. I felt like a total badass.

Most recent game you played? I'm working my way back through Etrian Odyssey 1 right now- I'm in the 4th Stratum and building up my B and C teams. and my team of Survivalists to farm materials.

Favorite game genre? Turn Based Strategy Games are MY JAM. It's either this or roguelikes. If you can combine both I am INTO IT.

Coolest enemy/boss design? I think that unironically designs like Shadow Link or Shadow Sora or whomever are just... great. Duel bosses that are a shadow version of the player. Mirror match. Lots of drama.

Do you play mobile games? I do. I play Fire Emblem Heroes, The NYT Crossword App (It's in my game launcher app natively, it counts ok), 2048, and technically I have Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions in app form which counts as a mobile game.

A game that you wish you could play for the first time again. You can't bottle a feeling, but I wish I could replay Persona 5 for the first time. I liveblogged it.

Do you typically choose to play a male or female character (when asked to pick)? Depends on the vibes. In Pokemon Crystal Version I played as a girl because you couldn't before in Red Version. I played Male Alear in Fire Emblem: Engage because I thought his outfit was slightly less dumb. I played Female Byleth in 3 Houses for the easy Sylvain recruitment and Peg Knight access. Sometimes the mechanical advantages will sway me one way or the other too lol. In World of Warcraft I usually made dude characters.

Favorite childhood game? When I was like 11 I played the Original Smash Brothers for literal hours at a time at my friend's house. Easily one of the greats.

If you could only play one game for the rest of your life, what would it be? Final Fantasy Tactics and it's not even close. I replay that game like. Every year.

Kill, Fuck, Marry (choose three characters) You didn't pick 3 characters. BOOOOOOO

#ask meme #nicrosil

[ransomnote]

RANSOMNOTE'S TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2023

this year was, despite everything, an incredible year for music. i haven't had a top 10 AOTY list this stacked since i started making lists. this is my comprehensive list of albums from this year i think everyone should listen to. there are some well known picks on here as well as some more obscure choices that nevertheless blew my face clean off.

10. Voir Dire - Earl Sweatshirt, The Alchemist

earl sweatshirt has never once disappointed me honestly. the production combined with the lyrics and the way this album flows is comforting yet confrontational and everything i've come to expect from ES. my only critique is that i wish there was more variety with regards to the speed of the songs themselves. that being said, the hypnotic nature of the sound can hold its own.

rate: 8/10

fave track: mancala (feat. vince staples)

9. PUNK TACTICS - Joey Valence & Brae

this album is hard to describe as anything other than really fucking fun. like have you ever seen, watched, or listened to a piece of art and felt in your soul that the people who made is had the time of their lives making it? that's punk tactics. these two bring the sound of 80s-90s east coast alt hip hop into 2023 in a way that doesn't feel like they're just rehashing the sound of beastie boys. i can't wait to see what else comes out of these two. that being said, i worry that a few of the samples utilizing memes popular between january-august 2023 are going to date this album.

rate: 8.3/10

fave track: STARTAFIGHT

8. everything is alive - Slowdive

so. with a track record like theirs, there was no way slowdive was going to put out something bad. and i was right! they didn't! though i still prefer their 90s albums a bit more probably solely based on nostalgia, this album is a fascinating and beautiful translation of their signature slowcore style into 2023. these musicians and their sound have evolved so much, and this album is a reflection of that growth. for critiques, i would say i don't find myself revisiting this album as much as i do slowdive's other work, and i'm not sure why. maybe its just me.

rate: 8.4/10

fave track: the slab

7. HELLMODE - Jeff Rosenstock

jeff rosenstock is known for exploring different genres, from punk to folk to metal to indie rock to ska. this album does that in a way i've never heard from him before. this album switches genres not just between songs, but mid-song sometimes. it keeps you on your toes for sure, but manages to sound cohesive and like it belongs together. to put it lightly, it's great. i was really worried with how he was going to follow up no dream/ska dream, and those fears have been effectively proven wrong. the only thing i would really change about this album is the track order, but that's so nitpicky i don't feel like getting into it.

rate: 8.6/10

fave track: LIKED U BETTER

6. SCARING THE HOES - JPEGMAFIA, Danny Brown

before i say anything else: peggy and danny brown hip hop duo of the year. i am not debating that with anyone. ok now we can start. oh my god this album. it's not exactly controversial to say that 2023 was one of the best years for experimental and alternative rap and hip hop on record, and i think this album shows all of that. the best part of this album in my opinion (though almost every aspect of it is a standout) is the sampling. i have never in my life heard sampling innovated like this. these two have turned what was already an art form into something almost like a sport. i don't have a critique as much as i have advice: develop this. don't let it stagnate here. these two are on the cusp of genre revolutionizing shit.

rate: 8.8/10

fave track: garbage pale kids

5. Appearance - peopling

i feel like i have to explain this album. have you ever played electric guitar or any instrument that gets run through an amp and heard it pick up radio waves traveling through the air while plugged in? this album does that intentionally. which. ok let me pick the pieces of my skull off the floor. this album makes me feel like i'm listening to ghosts talking, and in a way, i am. i don't know what to critique about it because i've never heard anything like it in my life. please go listen to this.

rate: 9/10

fave track: cRIPpLinG dEBt PArTy

4. Javelin - Sufjan Stevens

this is such an instant classic sufjan stevens album. i love it. i don't have a lot to say beyond that because i feel like you could take any sufjan stevens album, pick out what's so great about it, and copy and paste that for every album of his. that being said, it's not stale. there's a distinct fairytale sound that's distinct from the ethereal sound of earlier projects that gets combined with a healthy dose of warranted cynicism given how rough this year has been for stevens. go cry to this.

rate: 9.3/10

fave track: tie between shit talk and javelin (to have and to hold)

3. This Is Why - Paramore

after after laughter in 2017, my only question for paramore was "how are they going to top this?" the band certainly took their sweet time answering that question, but with what we got, i can't complain. hayley williams is, as always, a complete powerhouse, but that didn't need to be said. you can tell how much new wave, specifically the likes of talking heads, influenced the artistic direction of this album. it's a new sound for paramore, a band that refuses to stagnate it seems, and i can't get enough of it. i don't yearn for old paramore the same way i yearn for, say, old fall out boy or old green day because their new stuff is just. better. i don't want to hear a scene veteran yap about how nostalgia is what keeps the bills paid ever again.

rate: 9.4/10

fave track: you first

2. Fat Chance - Mr. Phylzzz

i had never heard of this band before my friend trixie and i made the last minute decision to see them live opening for the melvins and boris. their set consisted mainly of songs off this album, and what a fucking set it was. i enjoyed them more than both the acts that followed. this duo has an intense stage presence on par with groups like mcr and death grips, and that translates into their music even when it's not live. this is 2023 post-hardcore punk perfection that makes you feel like you're being chased by dogs. with guns. gundogs. seriously, if i put you on to one band with this post, i hope its them.

rate: 9.7/10

fave track: tie between dirty hands and insisting

1. Census Designated - Jane Remover

coming out of nowhere with the steel chair at the end of october, this album makes me feel things that i can't classify as normal. i will never be normal about this album. ever. it's cemented itself as not just my album of the year, but as one of my favorite albums of all time. the pushing of her already so solid hyperpop sound into grunge territory is. i can't describe it as anything other than insane. this album demands your attention while simultaneously making a point to demand nothing. it's as contemporary and 2023 as it gets, and yet i think it's going to age beautifully. this is, without a doubt in my mind, the best album of 2023. listen to it before i lose my mind.

rate: 10/10

fave track: fling

well! that wraps it up! i'm going into 2024 with my standards set high. let me know if you think i snubbed or overlooked anyone! when the world is the most turbulent, the greatest art gets made. heres to a more peaceful 2024 and free that motherfucking palestine <3

#music #aoty #new years

[sweetpea-sprite]

I still use your advice on getting Scrolls of Truth - got any tips on the best places to farm other rare ingredients?

(Currently in need of Glowstones, Troll's Tears, All-Seeing Eyes, Evil Eyes, Angel's Wings, Kaleidostones, Bubble Pipes, Star Pearls, and Ritestones)

OKAY HI sorry for taking so long with this

first of all i already said this in a post but FARM THE GUARDIAN OF WORLDS. again rare material every time you kill him. i'm assuming you're going for either 100% or platinum - you want to do this until you have enough of like TWO OR THREE of the materials you need. EVIL EYES IN PARTICULAR.

ok now that you've done that you have to figure out the rest of them. it is almost always better to try to steal if you can because you can use the scrolls of truth method. if anyone does not know the scrolls of truth method i will quickly outline it:

equip oliver with the weakest wand you have (either the old stick or the magic wand depending on if you have alchemised the sky tree wand). set all party members (including oliver) to don't do anything in tactics. find the creature you need. cast pulse on everything other than it as much as possible, then once they're dead move onto the creature. do NOT kill it. pulse knocks down the creatures and therefore has a higher chance of yielding a golden glim; if you get a golden glim, switch to swaine, and use his miracle move for a 100% chance to steal the rarest possible material from that creature (worth noting: do not try mugshot before doing this, as if you steal from something before miracle moving it, it'll just say it's not carrying anything). if you do not get a golden glim and it's one pulse away from dying, use mugshot and Pray.

i believeee some of these aren't actually classed as rare materials (so the GOW won't drop them). i'll start with those

star pearl: looks like your best bet is stealing from neoliths or astralynx in the ivory tower. DO NOT USE THE PULSE-GOLDEN GLIM METHOD. star pearls are these guys' common steal - light fingers will give you something else. just use regular mugshot

ritestone: you can forage these in nazcaa. riiiight here

just go here every so often when farming other materials and grab them. wayyy easier than farming from creatures

all-seeing eyes and bubble pipes: both of these are a fuddy-daddy drop. bubble pipes are its common steal but if you're farming for eyes anyway you might just wanna grab the drop depending on how many you need. anyway fuddy-daddy is a particular case because it's one of the three creatures that have a particular spot they spawn in and are therefore Exploitable. which is why i'm sending you there instead of going for something you can steal eyes from. iirc fuddy-daddies spawn riiiight

here. use the gateway method. you go there - not too close or it won't respawn - kill the fuddy-daddy, cast gateway, cast it again, and it will have respawned where it was before

i think everything else has a pretty standard scrolls-method creature. except evil eyes which i'll put last because they're Bad. so i'll just list those here with extra info

glowstone: steal from gold gobspeed in nevermore - however also DROPPED (not stolen) by gold psychophants in the golden grove (though it's worth noting that i believe if you steal from a creature they don't drop anything? i could be wrong though), which you may need to farm anyway for the next item on the list. worth noting that gold gobforsakens in nevermore drop (not stolen from) angel wings

troll's tears and angel wings: i'm putting these two together because they are stolen from gold psychophants and gold triumphants respectively, both in the golden grove. farm these together. i didn't know this and didn't steal from gold triumphants when i was farming tears when i needed both tears and wings... if you haven't farmed all-seeing eyes from fuddy-daddy yet, also kill gold inphants, as they drop those sometimes

kaleidostones: steal from gold bedraggle in the glittering grotto. standard scrolls method however if you still need scrolls of truth it's worth mentioning that gold dragamuffins drop them (drop, not steal)

evil eyes: ugh. again. try to get all of these from the GOW if you can. but if you're getting really unlucky with the drops... the only way to steal evil eyes is from docotoko in nevermore. don't do this to yourself. scrolls method is practically unviable because they run away after a time and they're so rare and mugshot is so unreliable... the only way you're getting these in a timely fashion is from drops. if you still need scrolls of truth this is a great time to get them because you're going to be killing gold trumpy-pumpers, which are in the same area in the tombstone trail (the dark cave in the middle) as honky-tonkers, who you can steal scrolls from as you know. just. yeah you just have to kill them and hope for the best. sorry. your other option is killing gold tokotokos, which occasionally spawn at the very last spawning area right before the candelabracadabra arena. but i wouldn't try it...

some other stuff to try if you end up only needing specific items:

for angel wings iirc gold triumphants can be pretty damn rare. but i'm not sure. anyway you can also try uniboppers in the deep dark wood for the drop but if you need glowstone i'd probably try nevermore first as mentioned in the glowstone section

if you need scrolls of truth, kaleidostones, and troll's tears it's worth going to the miasma marshes, ESPECIALLY. if you need scrolls of truth and troll's tears. if you only need scrolls of truth and kaleidostones then i'd probably go with something else, and if you only need kaleidostones and troll's tears it's not very viable as a way of getting both... gold hog-goblins drop scrolls of truth, and gold gobfathers drop kaleidostones and you can steal troll's tears from them

iiii think that's everything. good luck soldier

#ask #ni no kuni #<- main tag why not

[billmaher]

Republican Debates

I was taping Club Random last night when the debate was on, but I watched it later, and here are my running thoughts about the #GOPDebate: the striking writers should be worried about AI, because ChatGPT could write the SNL sketch version of this in 2 seconds… Who is that stiff on the end? And Asa Hutchinson?? Yes, that's what we want, the one old white guy in America that looks older than Biden… Vivek cannot stop smiling, and is it my TV, or are his teeth blindingly white?

[[MORE]]

Is that the way to let us know he's the young one?… I hadn't really seen DeSantis speak before, and wow, he is every bit as awful as everyone says - terrible voice, robotic and canned, creepy straight-ahead stare - yikes!…who in real life ever says "thank you for the question"?: 'I'm going out, can I grab anything for you?' 'Thank you for the question: a pack of Luckys'… I need blueblocker glasses for this guy's teeth…the way they all think anyone cares about their cherrypicked brags:

'I'm the only one who lowered taxes with a Democratic senate in a southeastern state' Shut the fuck up…who is this freak Doug Burgum?? He looks like a salesman at a high-end department store. I think he sold me a tuxedo at Neiman Marcus… Thank you, Karen; I'll be sure to tell the manager…Jesus, Pence's hair is whiter than Vivek's teeth!…climate change is a hoax?? Oh Vivek, we all wanna be president but come on man…" We have to tell India and China to stop polluting."

Yeah, nobody ever thought of that…'I had trouble having both my children' TMI!…oh yeah, I think we all know Penny - Around the World Penny, yup"…no, not the Constitution-in-your-pocket thing!…wouldn't it be great if President Burgum foiled an assassination attempt when the bullet hit his pocket Constitution?…THIRTY no-abortion bills you passed, how many ways are there to say 'don't kill it?'…' abortion on demand,' like there's a Drive-Thru out here in Cali: "You want fries with your abortion?…" We need a president from a new generation." - Yes, but who? Who do you have in mind? Are you thinking of anyone in particular? "When a farmer gets sick…" WHAT? What year is this debate taking place? Jesus, he can borrow my cow…Asa is talking about stopping Smash-and-Grabs in the inner city?? "As president I'll stop it!" How? You're gonna go undercover with Richard Greico?…

Christie is brave to call out Trump, but good luck prying this crowd away from him, he is Taylor Swift to these people…I swear they all could switch each other's canned lines and no one would notice…also I don't think anyone would notice or care if Brett Baeir and DeSantis switched bodies, they all look completely interchangeable…" We need someone who fought in the military." But who?? Who do you have in mind, anyone in particular??…

I was wrong, and President Burgum looks like an undertaker… Pence and Vivek are wearing the exact same tie…"I chose the constitution" BOO!!!, oh Republicans, you are scary…I stand by what I told Vivek on Club Random last week: "I find you both disarming and Alarming."…you gotta love how these snakes pretend they don't know how to pronounce Vivek's name. Just in case anyone forgot he's the, um, "foreign-sounding" one - Et Tu Nikki Haley?? Wow, really Nikki, YOU don't know either?…

Vivek wins the battle of 'I'll say the most red meat, fuck the future, get applause and clean up the repercussions later' tactic that works best at Republican debates… this Indian-American on Indian-American violence must end!… What does President Burgum's wife tell him after this is over: 'You won! It wasn't even close'… can we please vote this guy off the island? There is less dignity on this stage than with the most embarrassing first-rounder on American Idol, Sanjaya is Abe Lincoln… I like drugs, but OK, I guess that's a bad one…you guys can call Putin a thug and tell us how he rapes women all night, this is a Republican debate, know your audience: 'Ukraine is far away, we hate Mexicans!'…are we really that convinced that the strands of hair that Asa is pulling from one side of his head to the other side is covering the top?…"I alone got the funding for…" - You did? Awesome! Done! I was gonna vote for Richard Greico's kick-ass partner, but…

President Burgum, if we're just gonna cremate her, why do we need such an expensive coffin?… What is that, wool? It's August, but OK, I get it. They crank the AC in these places… "We don't need a president who's too old or who's too young." Who then?? Who could it be that you mean who's the right age?… "We led the nation in computer science education" - you did?! Well, why didn't you say so at the beginning before Asa joined 21 Jump Street? That's a great accomplishment, maybe President Burgum will make you Secretary of something… I love how in the closing statements, they ordered it from the least likely on up: President Burgum, you're the first, then let's hear from Asa, the other guy with a 0.0% chance… "We need a conservative who has shown he can win in a blue state" - But who? Who do we have like that here today??… "God said to America, I'm not done with you" - really, God says that to people: "I'm done with you? What a little bitch… "I was born in 1985", old WhiteHead next to me has ties older than that, and blah blah 1776, which I think is the year the dude on the end was born… we're so fucked, and Trump wasn't even there.

#bill maher #real time #gop #debates #republicans #2024 election

[cerise-on-top]

Okkkk so I have another idea and it's a crossover... well sort of I think. Ok imagine that after they turned off the switch they obviously got teleport back to the real world and this time batter was with them . Their personality were still switch unfortunately but it didn't bother that much.

As time goes on batter got used to the way in the real world and lives with the player . Once they were walking around they fell in the hole and came to the underground.

Now the player maybe stotic but they aren't heartless they won't hurt others unless needed to and hopes for a better outcome. Hence they have the soul of hope

As for batter he will obviously be curious about the monster and now he doesn't need to hide his second pair of eyes but once he finds out that there will be monster that might kill them he became protective. He can't be manipulated or be corrupted hense he has the soul of purity (integrity and justice combined, I think)

Soooo maybe write the Undertale characters reaction to them maybe

Also they have very high lv like above 20 for obvious reasons since they killed alot of ghost and gardians in the off world

My Undertale phase was years ago, and I don't really know all that much about the different soul colour, aside from the ones in the game, so sorry if I don't really do it justice (no pun intended)! Also, I'm an OFF imagines blog, not an Undertale one, and this is more of an Undertale request than anything, but I'll make an exception this once because Undertale is near and dear to me ^^;

OFF x Undertale Crossover

Toriel:

When she first saw the two of you, she was amazed but also relieved. Thinking Batter to be one of her kind, she was grateful he took such good care of you, a human, instead of trying to kill you. Even if it was kind of odd to her that he fell down alongside you. How did a monster get to the Surface?

From the moment she saw you it was evident to her that the both of you are fairly strong, which was strange. But still, you didn’t hurt anyone, deciding that acting and sparing monsters is a better tactic than fighting them. Even if the monster by your side was more than willing to fight at times.

In the end, she lets you go a bit more easily than Frisk, but only because you already have a companion by your side. It still takes some convincing, however.

Sans:

From the moment Sans saw you, he was on guard. A human and a monster with so much LOVE meant trouble, regardless of how kind they appeared on the outside and how merciful they were. You had already done your fair share of killing, so it was only a matter of time until you did the same here.

He would approach you as he normally would at first, but definitely makes a few not-so-subtle remarks about the two of you having killed before, even going as far as threatening you if he thinks he needs to. If you want to earn his trust, then leave and leave monsterkind, especially his brother, alone.

At least that’s what he tells you. Sure, he’ll always be aware of what you have done, but if you tell him the truth and keep sparing monsters, even he will grow a bit softer eventually.

Papyrus:

Not completely oblivious to the fact that you have a high level, he mentions it, but also kind of just disregards it. There’s no dust on either of you, just snow. Plus you came in a pair. A human and a monster like this is rare, but the euphoria of having found a human to capture is too great to really consider that.

Hearing about the capturing part definitely made Batter more cautious, but you tell him it’s fine since, more than anything, Papyrus seems harmless, just excited.

Overall, his reaction would be fairly similar to that in the game, aside from a few remarks about how well you can take his hits and how little they affect you. Be prepared for awful puzzles, even worse spaghetti and the best platonic date in history of human- and monsterkind.

Undyne:

Another one that can see that you’re surprisingly strong. Not as accurately as Sans, but she can sense that something is wrong. With her determination to capture and kill you to free monsterkind she will pose a threat. A threat that makes Batter anxious again.

Once all the hostility has passed by showing her that you’re not here to hurt anyone and are in actuality rather kind despite your stoic nature as a human, hoping for the best outcome, and it comes to the platonic hangout with her, she’ll interrogate you openly. But little you tell her will be too outlandish. In fact, the more exciting and cool the adventure you tell her about was, the more likely she is to believe you.

Afterwards, she still will kinda make the comparison between you and Asgore, how you both kill, or killed, out of kindness. But she definitely won’t call you a goofball like him, you are much more serious, after all.

Alphys:

She has watched from the moment you left the ruins, unaware of what you have done in the past. She just believes you’re an oddball of a human with how little emotion you show. Definitely intrigued about the fact you travel with a monster wherever you go and get along this well. Yes, monsters are made of kindness, but they usually attack and don’t stick with humans.

Eventually, she’ll compare you to one of her anime characters with how cool and composed you are and wish to be your friend. Like in the game, she’ll have Mettaton set something up so she, too, can become a heroine in your story, but will feel bad about it and confess herself later on.

If you know about anime get ready to never hear the end. Batter will learn a thing or two about Tokyo Monster and Assassination Schoolroom as well. Kind of unaware of your previous killings because she assumes you’re nice since you treat all the monsters you meet with kindness. Definitely impressed with how well you take all the blows, though.

Mettaton:

It’s his opportunity to rise to stardom outside of the Underground. With a human this cool he will be a hit and his final show will do numbers. And a love story between a monster and a human that isn’t staged? People are going to love the authenticity of it.

Overall very excited to meet you himself, but more for entertainment purposes. Most of what he knows about you and Batter comes from Alphys, so his opinion of you isn’t that low to begin with. But meeting you does send a metaphorical chill down his metaphorical spine. Just who were you to not be affected by any of his attacks at all? It really makes him consider a thing or two during the fight with him.

Asgore:

Seeing you with Batter waltz into the room, he, too, will think the latter to be a monster and smile in melancholy. Seeing a human and a monster get along this well is nice and gives him hope for a future where both can live together in peace and never have to wage war again.

Truth be told, seeing the both of you like this makes him hesitant to fight you. On one hand he has to, for his people, but on the other hand, the grief and remorse would haunt him until the day he dies. Still, he has no other choice and will fight you. Whether you fight back or not is up to you.

Asgore is definitely aware that the two of you have some rather unfortunate and violent history before everything in the underground, but still believes in the kindness you hold, given everything the other monsters have told him about you. Eventually, he will break and refrain from fighting you further, especially if you refuse to fight him for a prolonged amount of time.

#off (game) #undertale #crossover #toriel #sans #papyrus #undyne #alphys #mettaton #asgore #that's so many characters ^^; #anyway as much as I love ut I don't write for it #so this is a one time thing only #sorry about that #and the focus is also more on player and Batter meeting them in the first place #not so much the swap au #sorry about that as well;;; #that should be all that needs to be said #anyway stan Undyne