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#oh well this is the new coloring style in trying out and im obsessed with it
thewanderersminuet · 7 months
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Inspired by @fragileizy 's fires and lillies au.
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anglerflsh · 1 year
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oh man Im late but it is SO interesting to see how everyone is affected by church architecture. I've actually had a personally very jarring experience with How Churches Look, via switching Church Styles suddenly as a kid. From infancy to kindergarten I went to a church that wasn't huge, but had high cielings, a big window with a geometric cross design on it, burnes incense on holidays and had MASSIVE tapestries of some saints hanging up. Also a small brick fountain of holy water to baptize babies in. I was very young so my thoughts on it weren't complicated-- didn't even know the tapestries were saints for a long time (I thought their halos were space helmets, genuinely), but everything in the church was old enough to feel well-established and meaningful, and big enough to feel important without quite being imposing. The light filtering in through the window made me imagine a God that was distant, but kind. When my parents got divorced, my mom started taking me to other churches in the area and I suddenly found out my old church was the odd one out. A lot of churches in my area (and there are A LOT) are built in old shopping centers or are built in the style that you would build a large chain store or maybe an office building in: HUGE, brand new, exposed steel beams in the cieling but painted a uniform color, no windows, nonthreatening decor, and DEEPLY GENERIC. I went to three or four churches, all much much bigger than my first church, and they all felt so...deeply impersonal. The decor in the designated kids areas were often aggressively trying to be hip and with it, and it always made the religious stuff feel like a joke to me. It was all so liminal and distant. The worst one had to be the actual megachurch I went to, which played a livestream of a pastor in another state on 3 huge projectors while everyone sat in a massive, all-black room in what was essentially a very clean warehouse. The presence of God there was so insubstantial and vague but I was TRULY desperate to feel it at the time. And the pastors at churches like that really REALLY push that you're A Part Of Something just by being there. It's so weird to look back on! I'd still go to my old church on holidays with my dad and for a while I worried all the ceremony was like heretical or something but I've since decided that it's fun to see them swing around the incense orb. Anyways sorry this is so long but Ive been obsessed with the effect of those stark architechture differences for ages so thanks for the opportunity to ramble about it! hope this was interesting lol!
That's a really good way to explain it actually! I've only seen one megachurch in my life when I visited america and I can absolutely see how it would be jarring to associate an impersonal space like that with the message they're giving. It's surreal for me to imagine a service being projected honestly, my sunday school told me that it happened in some countries but for the longest time I never believed it actually did - but then again in Italy it's pretty common to follow church from the tv directly (they telegraph the Pope's sermons on sundays and holydays) so
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles (part 5)
uh ohh, part 5 baby! im quite enjoying this story so far and i have some fun things planned for it, so i hope you’ll stay with me for them! in today’s part, our fav new celeb couple takes it all the way, though i chose not to include the actual sex part, however im still treating you all with some dirty stuff so enjoy!
pairing: Harry x actress!reader
word count: 4.6k
warning: NSFW content
SERIES MASTERPOST
masterlist
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New couple alert?
Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N have been spotted having lunch and grabbing coffee several times in the course of the past few weeks. All the outings looked casual and friendly, they gladly stopped for fans that approached them and the word has it that they’ve been getting closer to each other, though neither of them confirmed anything.
Harry Styles has been known to be single for a while now, only faint rumors swirling up sometimes, but none of them were proven to be true, the young actress is the first woman he has been linked to in a long time. Y/N Y/L/N has been focusing on her blooming career and has been single since her split from long time exboyfriend and fellow actor, Levi Hudson. The pair dated all through 2018, splitting in the beginning of 2019. Hudson has admitted their hectic schedules made it impossible to maintain their relationship while Y/N did not confirm anything.
Styles is going on his world-wide tour soon, while Y/L/N is currently between two projects. The young celebs seem to be enjoying each other’s company and fans have been quick to jump into speculations about their alleged romance, however there is no evidence as of right now.
“Thank you so much for your time, it was a pleasure to talk to you,” the young interviewer smiles at you, holding her hand out and you shake it with a warm smile.
“Thank you for having me! And I really like your shoes, by the way,” you point down at her electric blue pumps that you’ve been eyeing since the start of the interview.
“Oh, thank you! Got them from a vintage store,” she beams, a slight blush playing on her cheeks clearly a little starstruck from your compliment.
“Love those little stores.”
“Me too,” she giggles collecting her papers and notes. “Someone will contact you and your team soon about the photoshoot and I’ll email you a draft of the interview in about a week.”
“That’s perfect, thank you so much,” you nod at her grabbing your purse from the side table next to you. Grabbing your phone from the depth of it you smile to yourself upon seeing the text from Harry.
“Call me when you’re done with the interview Xx.”
You say your goodbye to everyone before heading out of the building. Lawrence is at the front waiting for you in the car and he greets you with a warm smile when you sit into the backseat. As he starts the car and heads back to your home, you call Harry, who picks it up after the second ring.
“Hey! How was the interview?” he beams brightly, his voice immediately making you smile.
“Great! This young girl did it and she had some exciting questions.”
“Sounds lovely. Can’t wait to buy a Cosmopolitan with you on the cover soon,” he says and you can hear the grin through his voice.
“Will look good in your hands for sure,” you chuckle.
“Right. So I have a question for you.”
“Go for it.”
“I’m doing this very small show at Beacon Theater this weekend, kind of a practice before the real tour begins and I was wondering if you’d be up to come. Would love to have you there.”
“When is it exactly?”
“Saturday at nine. I know it’s a short notice and I get it if you have something else going on, just wanted to ask.”
“I think I can make it work,” you smile, thinking back at what your day looks like on Saturday. “Can I bring someone?”
“Of course! Just let me know how many people so I can have the tickets sent over to you.”
“Thank you. It’s sweet of you to think about me.”
“You know I always think about you,” he murmurs and his voice sends a shiver down your spine. Crazy to think how much he can affect you with just his words, he just has a special spell on you, it seems.
“Still such a flirt, I see,” you chuckle, feeling your cheeks heating up as you hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line.
“For you, always.”
“Alright. I’ll text you about the tickets and thank you again. Can’t wait to see you perform finally.”
“It’s been due for a while now, right? Kind of promised you some tickets on Ellen, if I remember correctly.”
“You did!” you laugh thinking back at the time you met him. How funny that just one short game on a talk show led the two of you here. You have to thank Ellen though.
“Now I’m finally keeping my promise. Talk to you later then, Love. Have a great day.”
“You too, Harry.”
 You manage to convince Sydney to join you for the concert, she sounds excited when you ask if she had anything to do on Saturday. Seeing Harry perform before his tour kicks off is a thrill for her she wouldn’t pass on for anything, so she is really grateful that you thought of her as your plus one.
Harry has your passes sent over to your place on Friday and it comes with a bouquet of flowers as well as a card.
“Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. What’s your favorite song? I’ll make sure to perform it just for you. –H”
He never fails to make you feel like the only woman on the planet and you can definitely see why so many fall for him even without meeting him. The man has all the power to charm anyone with just a smile.
You put the flowers into a vase and leave them on your dining table before grabbing your phone and sending him a quick text.
“It’s Only Angel,” you simply write, hoping he’ll get it why you just wrote that. Luckily, he does.
“Straight to the setlist. Dedicated to You.”
 Finishing up the last touches to your makeup you bop your head to the song blasting through the stereo. It’s Only Angel, of course. You’ve had it on repeat all afternoon and now you can’t wait to actually see Harry perform it live.
Just as you are about to get changed, Syd arrives so you let her in with a beaming smile and when she hears the music upon walking into your place she cheers in excitement.
“Yes! This is such a jam!” she smirks, doing a little dance as you lock the door behind her.
“You look fantastic, Syd,” you tell her. The black short dress looks amazing paired with the lilac oversized blazer. Her makeup matches the same color and you are obsessed with the fishnet tights. She will surely make men wish she was into them.
“Thank you! Spent two hours figuring out what to wear, so I hope I look fantastic,” she giggles.
She helps you put together your outfit as well. Wide legged flaming red pants that make your waist look snatched, a black sheer top tucked into it with just a black bralette underneath. You already know Harry will be a fan of the skin you’re showing, you can’t wait to see his face when he finally spots you.
You quickly pack your essentials into a black Chanel purse along with stuff you need for a possible sleepover if things might take a pleasant turn, and you finish with everything just when the doorman calls up through the intercom that Lawrence has arrived.
“So, what’s the deal with you and him, if I may ask?” Syd questions in the car, not in a nosy way, more like a curious, friendly way.
“We are… getting close,” you say, tasting the word on your tongue. You haven’t labeled whatever you have going on with Harry, nor do you really know what it should be called. You’ve been trying hard to make time for each other as much as possible, making small lunch and coffee dates a regular thing. He came over to your place one evening for a movie and that’s the only time you were able to be alone with him, though nothing sexual happened. Yet. The real deal is yet to happen and if you are being honest you are running short on patience. It’s getting harder to hold yourself back and keep your hands to yourself as well when you are out with him, but you agreed to keep it lowkey out in the public.
Tonight, however, you have a feeling what you’ve been waiting for so long might actually happen and you can only hope Harry is planning the same thing. You are absolutely ready to bluntly ask if he wants to spend the night at your place.
“But you’re heading… somewhere, right?”
“I hope so,” you smile shyly.
“That’s amazing. I think you two are a match,” Syd smirks at you.
By the time you arrive to the venue the gates have been opened so people are busy getting inside, giving you the chance to walk inside through the backdoors without any fuss.
“Miss, Harry requested me to usher you to his dressing room when you arrive,” the girl at the door smiles at you with a clipboard in her hands and a headset covering her ears.
“Oh, alright,” you nod, turning to Syd. “You go ahead and get us a good place,” you tell her and she nods walking away with a wave as she heads up to the second floor that’s fully reserved for friends and family.
Following the girl down the hallway you are led to a room that has Harry’s name on it. She gently knocks on the door and a few moments later it flies open, revealing Harry in a colorful suit and a simple white button-down shirt. He looks breathtaking, hair fixed perfectly and the wide grin stretching across his lips when he sees you standing there.
“You’re here!” he breathes out, grabbing your hand and pulling inside, snatching you away from the preying eyes. Once the door clicks closed behind you, he is quick to press his lips to yours in a sweet welcoming kiss. Ever since your first official date he hasn’t passed on any chance to kiss you whenever you had the luxury of privacy to yourselves, which hasn’t happened too much, leaving you both with a growing hunger for each other every time you meet.
“Mm of course I am,” you smile against his lips before pecking them one last time and leaning back. “Looking great, Mr. Styles,” you grin, taking your time to wander your eyes down on him.
“Yeah? Like the suit?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I love your outfit as well. M’gonna have a hard time not thinking about you on the stage.”
“Please think about me,” you breathe out with a coy smile.
“Don’t fucking say that to me, you are giving me a hard time,” he groans and you just chuckle at the tortured look on his face.
“Sorry,” you mumble, but your face doesn’t meet your words. He squeezes your waist gently, pecking your lips in a rush before he lets go of you.
“I need to go over a few things before we start, so just go ahead and join Syd. Meet me here after the show?”
“Yeah, perfect,” you nod smiling. “Good luck out there,” you wink and he grins at you with bright eyes. His hands grab onto yours before you head out, pulling you in for one last kiss before you leave.
You feel flustered and you take a few deep breaths on your way up to the gallery to find Syd who managed to get an amazing spot at the front on the left side.
They offer everyone up on the gallery some champagne before the show starts and looking around you see a few familiar faces, but no one you specifically know. You stick with Sydney who is over the moon about the show and you are kind of sharing her excitement.
When the lights go down and the music finally starts, you can’t help but join in with the screams that fill the theater.
You’ve seen videos of him performing, in One Direction and solo as well. You’ve seen pictures and you’ve heard the words about how amazing he is on stage, but none of those live up to the actual experience. The sensation that takes over you just by seeing him appear on the stage as the whole theater chants his name as one, it completely sweeps you off your feet and for a second you wonder how you could live a life without this experience.
When his voice starts to flow through the massive speakers you need to take a deep breath, a shiver runs down your spine and you chug down the rest of your champagne so you could get rid of the glass and hold onto the railing with both hands because you feel like you need to ground yourself before you shoot into the sky.
Song after song, he performs perfectly, bringing every single person in the audience to that euphoric state they’ve been probably seeking their whole life. The experience is surely one of a kind, something you’ll definitely be thinking about for a long time.
Time seems to stop, though it cruelly carries on even when you forget about it completely. The concert is nearing its end and Harry takes a breather as he places his guitar to the stand behind him. You watch his every move as he walks back to the microphone, his gaze moving up to the gallery, roaming through the people until they find you.
“This last song is dedicated… to my Only Angel,” he murmurs into the microphone as the audience erupts, blows up at once and your heart skips a beat when his eyes linger over you for a little longer before the music starts to play.
You faintly hear Syd screaming next to you, probably aware that the dedication was addressed to you, but you can’t tear your eyes off of the man on the stage.
He nails it perfectly, looking like an absolute rockstar that he truly is and for a moment you can’t believe you have his attention and interest. How can such a precious and unbelievably talented man be in your reach?
Because I deserve great things in life, you tell yourself, a little mantra you’ve gotten around to repeat every time you found yourself doubting your success and happiness.
The concert eventually ends and though no one in the room desires the end of it, Harry leaves and you are abruptly brought back to reality.
“That was… something else truly,” Syd breathes out as the two of you linger around a little longer, trying to come down from the high you just experienced.
“Yeah. He is so fucking talented it’s almost unfair,” you chuckle running a hand through your hair.
“This tour will kill thousands of people all around the world,” she muses and for a moment, reality sets in and you realize that Harry will leave for his worldwide tour very soon, leaving you behind.
You get rid of the thought, not wanting to stress over something that’s not relevant just yet and you don’t want to ruin the evening either. Fears and stress can wait a little longer.
The two of you make your way backstage, walking into a bit of a chaos as all close friends and family want to congratulate to Harry and the band as well. Standing at the side you let everyone have their time, barely even seeing Harry in the sea of people in the spacious green room. Syd keeps you company as you wait and about thirty minutes later it seems like the crowd is starting to loosen up.
Harry spots you and excuses himself immediately from his conversation with a couple, heading in your direction with the widest grin you’ve ever seen on his pretty face.
“Congrats, that was mind-blowing,” you smirk as he reaches you, a hand curling around your waist as he leans down and places a kiss to your cheek, keeping it as moderate as possible, though you both just want to jump at each other.
“Thank you, Love,” he nods, a blush tinting his cheeks from your words. “Hello Sydney, so great to see you again,” he greets the girl next to you and they share a short hug.
“Hi! Loved the show so much!” she giggles in excitement.
“Thank you for coming.”
The three of you chat for a while before Sydney says she is gonna call herself an Uber, so after saying her goodbye she leaves you alone with Harry, as much as you can be alone with a bunch of other people around.
“I wanted to ask you something,” he clears his throat as his hand finds its way back to the small of your back.
“Go for it.”
“We are gonna grab a drink at some bar, but nothing over the top and I wanted to ask if you would want to join.”
“Sounds good,” you smile, feeling a little disappointed. This is not exactly what you wanted him to ask. Luckily, he is not done with his questions.
“Also… I-If it’s cool by you, I thought that… maybe you could come over?”
“Mmm, go over and do what?” you tease him, your smile stretching wider with each passing moment.
“I have plenty of ideas, Love,” he breathes out, making you laugh. “We could drop by your place if you need anything to stay over.”
“No need. Packed a bag,” you slyly grin at him, taking him by surprise clearly, but it’s surely a pleasant one.
“Always a step ahead of me, huh?” he smirks, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
It takes some time to actually leave the venue and head off to the bar with a close group of friends of him and the band. A secluded area was already reserved for you that has its own bar, so you could enjoy the evening without worrying about preying eyes of strangers or fans. You really weren’t in the mood to keep your distance from Harry, this way at least you were able to touch each other in a more intimate way without speculations swirling up immediately.
You get to know his band and some of his friends, they are all genuinely amazing people, but you weren’t expecting anything else. You figured he only surrounds himself with people like him. His hands often find your waist and he doesn’t shy away from kissing your cheek or giving your hips a gentle squeeze, just letting you know you have his attention and he appreciates that you’re there.
It’s nearing one am when the guests start leaving and soon enough you find yourself in the back of your car with Harry, heading to his place, while you try your best to keep your hands away from him. You wouldn’t put Lawrence through the trauma of having to see or hear something he shouldn’t.
But that doesn’t stop you from kissing, something you’ve been dying to do all night. Your hand rests on his thigh while he has an arm curled around your shoulders, keeping you tight by his side, delicately brushing his nose against your hair every time your lips are not connected.
“Thank you, Lawrence. I’ll call myself a taxi in the morning, have the day off,” you tell your driver who smiles in your way thankfully while Harry grabs your and his bags from the back of the car.
“Thank you, Miss. Enjoy your night,” he nods in your way as you shut the door closed.
You try to take your duffel bag from Harry, but he insists to carry it as the two of you walk inside his house.
“Want something to drink? Water, tea or something?” he asks, setting the bags down near his giant, comfortable looking couch. Your thoughts immediately wander to a dirty field, picturing him sitting on that very couch as you kneel in front of him, pleasuring him so good that his eyes roll back…
“Yeah, water please,” you say clearing your throat. Some hydration will come handy after the drinks you chugged down at the bar.
You follow him as he shuffles into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and a bottled water from the fridge for you, pouring some into the glass before handing it to you.
“Thank you. You have a nice place for yourself,” you tell him, looking around in his home.
“Thanks. Been working on it for a while,” he chuckles softly. “Feels a bit too big for just myself though.”
You finish the water and set your eyes at him, feeling your hunger for him grow with each passing moment. Placing the empty glass to the marble counter you take a step closer to him.
“You feel lonely often?” you question in a low voice. His eyes return to you and you are happy to see the same lust in them.
“Would say so, yes,” he nods, running his tongue over his pink lips before he reaches out and grabbing you by your hips, he draws you close to him. Leaning down his lips brush against the shell of your ear, a shiver runs down your spine when you hear his whisper in it. “Hope it’ll change soon.”
At a loss of patience, you grab his face and angle it perfectly so you can kiss him hard. And by hard, you mean real hard. He stumbles back from the force, but manages to keep his balance, returning the kiss just as vehemently as he receives it, a tug of war starting between the two of you.
His hands work fast on the sheer fabric of your shirt, pulling it out from the waistband of your pants, getting rid of it eagerly as his lips wander down on your neck, collarbones and chest. He easily turns the two of you around so you are pushed against the edge of the countertop, his hips pushed against you and it’s clearer that daylight just how excited he is to have you here tonight. Your eyes flicker over to the couch again and the desire to please him with your mouth just bursts, you can’t hold yourself back anymore.
So you push him away from you, grabbing his wrist and yanking him after you, heading towards the couch. You push him down and his lustful eyes follow every move of yours as you kneel in front of him and he realizes what you are about to do. He doesn’t stop you when you work to unbutton his pants, but his hand finds your chin and he pulls you up for a swift, but passionate kiss.
Once you successfully undid his pants he lifts his hips and you spare some time and energy, pulling them down along with his underwear, leaving him only in his vintage printed t-shirt as his cock springs free. You push your thighs together just at the sight of him, the way his eyes burn down on you, how his lips part when your gazes meet and the way he sucks on his breath when your fingers dig into his thighs near his crotch as you situate yourself closer.
“I believe I owe you an orgasm, don’t I?” you ask with a cheeky smirk before wrapping your left hand around the base of his shaft, giving it a gentle squeeze, just enough to get him even more excited. A whimpered moan slips from his lips and you lean closer, giving his cock a lick from bottom to top, wrapping your lips around the head as you swirl your tongue around it.
“Fuck hell!” he breathes out, clearly enjoying himself, hands fisting the cushion next to him, but you bet they’ll be buried in your hair soon.
You’re not an expert in the field of blowjobs, but it’s been your thing to come barging right through the door and jump the easy teasing whenever you were on your knees for a man. So with your hands fixed on his beautiful face, you sink down on him, his cock gliding into your mouth right until the tip reaches the back of your throat, earning the loudest moan you’ve heard from him. Shutting your eyes closed you keep him like that for a second until the urge to gag starts to set in, so you slide him out, your saliva dripping down his erection as your eyes meet his and you can tell you shocked him with your bold first move.
“Do that one more time and I won’t last for a minute,” he warns breathing heavily and you just smirk up at him before going into action again, this time only taking a smaller portion of him, pumping the base to make up for the lack of deep throating, but it appears that he enjoys just the simple part of it equally. As you keep bobbing your head, taking as much of him as you can without gagging, his right hand flies to your hair, taking a handful of it as he gently guides your head, keeping it in the rhythm that works the best for him and you happily let him do whatever makes him feel good.
When your free hand goes to gently massage his balls your name erupts from him in the most voluptuous way you’ve heard him call out for you. As if he just cried out for God himself.
“Y/N, fuck, I won’t last long,” he warns you, but that’s all you want. You need to see him come undone under your touch, you want to be the reason his breath hitches. Picking up your pace you see him whimper some more, head falling backwards to the back of the couch. It’s a heavenly view and you wish you could take a picture of his beauty as he enjoys himself on this intimate level. You’ve never wanted to please a man more than him and just seeing him in this blissful state makes you wet through your underwear.
When his breathing starts to get uneven, chest heaving wildly, you take all of him again, his head poking the back of your throat and you push your tongue against his length as you slide him out, picking up the same pace that you kept before, both hands working hard on him.
“Fuck! I-I’m gonna cum!” he warns again and just a few seconds later, you feel the evidence of his satisfaction spurt into the back of your throat, eyes falling on you as you give him one last lick before swallowing everything that’s in your mouth.
“Holy shit,” he breathes out pulling you up, eagerly kissing you without a second thought, his hands cupping your cheeks to keep you in place. “You surely know how to kill a man, yea?” he huffs making you chuckle.
“Think you can go for a second one?” you sheepishly ask, blinking up at him from under your long lashes.
“I’ll have enough time to recover while I eat you out like you’re my last meal,” he bluntly replies, and a moan almost slips from your lips.
“Show me what you got, Styles,” you challenge him and he doesn’t need more, he easily picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he heads straight to the bedroom.
“As you wish, Angel,” he mumbles against your skin, peppering your neck and shoulder with featherlike kisses along his way until he throws you to his bed, ruthlessly tearing the remaining of your clothes off your body.
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sexy-bee-juice · 3 years
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which hq boys would let you paint their nails
This is the first time I’ve written something on here so feedback is welcome <333
Im trying hc’s so-
KARASUNO
Hinata
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- He would. 
- 10/10 would recommend.
- He would stare at you for a minute and be like, “what?” then you would show him the bottle of nail polish and he would just U N D E R S T A N D
- He would definitely flaunt it to his team. would be so proud.
- Honestly doesn't care about the color, just wants his nails DONE.
- Like, you could be the worst at applying it and get it all over his cuticles and fingers and smudge it everywhere, but he will still love how you did it . It doesn't even have to be all fancy with a design or something or rhinestones he will still love it.
- But...
-Please do the rhinestones and designs. H e will literally be so happy. Smack a volleyball or a dumpling design on those nails and he will literally cry. Rhinestones? He will carry around a little flashlight and shine it on the stones to see them sparkle.
- He just wants to do it and maybe have matching nails with you.
- Don't even ask he’ll do it.
Tsukishima
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-No. NopE.
-Im sorry bby, but he will not.
- Would stare at you for a whole of two seconds and say no then go back to whatever the heck this man was doing
- Might consider it if you chose a flat or rlly subtle color like...grey. or white.
-Boring. maybe if you included dinosaurs.
-or do it when he’s sleeping. and put some dinos on it.
-Will be mad at first, but will eventually get used to it.
- Only sneak attacks will get this man to accept it.
-Will ask you to remove it if he needs to go somewhere.
Sugawara
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-HE WILL BE SO HAPPY TO DO IT.
- PROBABLY WALKS IN ON YOU PAINTING YOUR NAILS ALONE AND WILL ASK IF YOU CAN DO HIS.
- 1000/10 would recommend
- Won’t flaunt it, but will totally be proud to tell everyone why his nails are painted.
-Probably get everyone else to get their nails painted by you as well.
- Gets you to paint his and the rest of the teams nails before every big match. team colors.
- Whenever he goes shopping with you low-key looks for new nail polish and buys it when you aint lookin’.
- Probably has a whole variety of slightly different shades of the teams colors.
- Isnt too flashy so might not want rhinestones or sparkles, but will definetely love any little chibi designs you put on.
- Especially the animals. Give him a giraffe and he will be so i love with them, he will be staring at his nails the whole time.
- Will be so happy he asked the first time.
Asahi 
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-Will definitely be shy at first. 
-If you ask him he will be all blushy and stuttery, but will agree.
- But after you finish, he will definitely end up smudging it and ruining anything you put on it.
- Designs? Gone. Ruined.
-Rhinestones? Fell off. never to be seen again.
-Glitter? Mess. Don't even ask.
- Will apologize about a million times and might even let you fix them, and will not move an inch until you tell him to move.
- Will basically be a ragdoll when it comes to you doing his nails, but will ask you to get the. STUFF. OFF. WHEN HE LEAVES.
-Otherwise is totally open about whatever. maybe makeovers and stuff is welcome, but only after a lot of bribing and begging.
Sawamura
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-OMG
-YES.
-DONT EVEN ASK
-”Daichi?” You hold up the bottle. “will you-”
-”yes.”
“wha-?”
-”yes”
-and thats how he came to practice will bright pink nails and sushi figures on his fingers. You can be the worst, and much like Hinata he will still love whatever you did.
-Like, this man will be openly obsessed with nail polish and manicures, even though he knows it isnt something that a guy like him, y’know, big(ish), plays volleyball, most likely has calloused hands, would do.
-Will most likely make it a routine to do each others nails every weekend, with a new style or design, with you doing his, and him doing yours.
-Will spend HOURS DOING YOURS
-just do it. he loves you and he will do whatever without question.
Nishinoya
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-Do I even have to say it?
-He would got he full 10000000000000000000000000000%
-RHINESTONES? YES
-GLITTER? ALSO YES.
-YOU WANT TO PUT FLOWERS OF SUSHI ON IT?
-DO IT.
-HE WANTS TO TRY AS WELLL LET HIM
- “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MOMMA?”
-”YEAH I CAN DO I WANNA TRY”
-just let the boy do what he must, but supervise him otherwise he might try to dye his hair with the glittery nail polish.
-might be one of the most hyped out of everyone to get his nails done.
Tanaka
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-he will be skeptical at first but will do it eventually after a lot of bribing and maybe making him a bit jealous if you go do one of the teammates nails and hint at it.
-otherwise no and im sorry
-BUT IF YOU DID MAKE HIM JEALOUS, THEN HE WILL MAKE YOU GO THE 110% AND MAKE EM THE MOST GLAMOROUS NAILS EVER.
-WORTHY OF EVEN THE GREATEST NAIL ARTIST, EVEN BETTER THAN THE ONES THAT DO THOSE AMAZING ASS NAILS FOR YOUTUBE.
-OR IF YOU REFUSE HE WILL TRY DO DO HIS OWN OF GET HIS MOM TO DO HIS.
-MIGHT BUY A BOTTLE SECRETLY AND GET NOYA TO DO IT IF HIS MOM SAYS NO.
-JEALOUSY IS KEY
(oh here we go-)
Kageyama
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-now imagine in the gif above that you are Hinata.
-that’s his exact reaction.
-no matter how much you beg, he will not do it.
-bby even if you burst into tears he wont.
-actually scratch that he will. he will be the definition of  P A N I C
-and thats when you say if he lets you do his nails then he will look away with a light blush dusting his cheeks then will mumble a very quiet quiet,
-”fine...”
-of which then you will be so happy and the tears will vanish and he will be pouty but will let you do whatever the fuck you want to his setter fingers
-and his gorgeous nails will be decorated with whatever.
-you
-want
-<333
-so go crazy :)))
Yamaguchi
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-now heres where im stuck
-im sure he will be flustered and refuse,
-but i also think hell agree immediately.
-so... probably with bribing, and like tsukki, he will want flat colors, no design.
-and subtle colors.
-not much to this guy but if tsukki starts to make fun of him he will be pressured to remove the nail polish and might start subconsciously picking it off.
-poor bby tell him its ok and that he’ll be perfect and look amazing with his pretty nails
-that will make him feel really good and prideful about it and he might let you do his nails again, so long as he gets to wear gloves around tsukki.
thank youuu feedback is welcome!
327 notes · View notes
burnedbyshoto · 4 years
Text
mine
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— Dabi didn’t want you in the slightest, but he’d be damned if anyone touched you without knowing that you belonged to him
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pairing: yandere!dabi x fem!reader
warnings: 18+, nsfw, gorey (blood and puss), branding, yandere!dabi, semi-public sex, consented sex that turns into nonconish, spitting, heavy degradation, hardcore, sadist!dabi, mindbreak
word count: 5,588
a/n: im so terribly sorry for being so late with kinktober. my keyboard is super fucked up and I had a crazy busy weekend. please do not read this if you are easily offended it got a bit crazy lol ;-; well at least for what i typically write sorry
kinktober day 17 main kink: branding | kinktober masterlist
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Dabi didn’t care about you.
As you lay on the broken, dirty mattress (was this even a mattress?) that belonged to who knows who and was in this alleyway for who knows how long, there was no telling if you wouldn’t contract some form of an STD just by laying here in your filth. You wanted to sit up. You needed to get out of this sketchy alleyway just to continue the day. But your body hurts, everything hurts.
But the tears in your eyes had long dried out. The blood, cum, spit, puss, and drool on the bed making for an unpleasant, pitiful sight beneath and on you.
But I guess there was no reason for anyone to try and take you, even like that.
There was already a warning, a brand for anyone to fucking try and take you from the person who owned you. 
His name pulsed on every throbbing, bubbling white-hot pain on your body. His hands and name forever scarred and branded on your skin.
Dabi Dabi Dabi Dabi
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
But you couldn’t even cry as a black cat with piercing blue eyes landed on the mattress centimeters from your face. It was too much.
And in the middle of the alleyway, your eyes shut, and a painful unconscious slammed through you. Consciousness no longer your friend as you ended there, ass up, gaping, cum splattering hole available for everyone to see.
It didn’t matter, you clearly belonged to Dabi, and anyone who tried to take you would be consumed with a horrid fate.
.
..
.
Dabi’s mouth was pulled back into an angry, unamused snarl.
Typically speaking, the black-haired Frankenstein of a man could look more apathetic than the gods of apathy themselves, but if you bugged him just enough, things could sink under his skin faster than you could run. But today, he seemed to have every annoying thing happen to him event after event so that he was practically simmering with putrid anger.
It had started when you had left his room in the morning louder than he liked. You both had begun a sexual relationship of sorts. As much as the League was intent and focused on driving out the hero society, libidos and sexual needs could hardly be ignored. Especially as Dabi’s own libido grew with the more success he had, the closer he was to achieve his own goal. It made sense that he and you began this relationship. He wasn’t going to touch any of the guys in the group, not to mention the fact they were about as ugly as he was, so that meant he’d have to potentially stare down at a nasty face moaning and screaming. That wasn’t going to happen. Toga was a psycho bitch that Dabi could never understand, and with her stupid stabbing addiction, he wasn’t about to trust her near his genitals. 
You had been a late joiner in the group, some dumb, weak, quirkless little bitch. 
Dabi had no idea why Shigaraki had ever allowed you to join in the first place.
You added absolutely nothing to the group.
Being quirkless meant that you were a liability in any type of fight they got into because you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself. You threw a mean punch, and you had been training with Toga in the weird-ass fighting style of hers, but it was stupid, utterly pointless because as long as Dabi and others possessed the ability to kill you without needing you near, you were a walking target. 
You were also a terrible medic. Whenever the group would return with serious and not so serious injuries, you would scream, panic, and apply bandages terribly. It was so bad that Dabi would rather die of infection than have your blubbering form try to get anywhere near his cuts and burns. 
You were a horrible liar too. Couldn’t send you into any of the Pro Hero bases or UA in an attempt to gather more information to help the group's efforts. Toga had merely transformed into a random citizen without you knowing, and your ability to be suave was a joke.
But one day, Dabi figured out why exactly Shigaraki decided to let you in, why you were someone worth letting live. He had gone to the bar for a simple drink. His head throbbing due to the fight he had gotten into while recruiting for the League. But what he came to see in that bar was that you were in the bar with Shigaraki and Kurogiri.
He looked at you as you were on your knees on the barstool. Your breasts swelling over that stupid tanktop of yours, your dumb ass shaking like a damn dog as you talked excitedly to Shigaraki. That, for whatever reason, bugged Dabi.  The tinge of color on his stupid leader’s ears and cheeks also went noticed by Dabi, and suddenly as you grabbed onto Shigaraki’s shoulders, it all made perfect sense.
You were here to be made as a whore.
Dabi ended up leaving the bar without getting his drink after all that day.
But he had caught you skipping to your assigned room, and he blocked your way, his hand shoved into his pockets as you looked down at your wide eyes.
“So that’s the role you’ll play in the world of no heroes,” Dabi spoke, his lips pulling into a lazy smirk, warmth flooding his cold skin when your own face seemed twisted with confusion and worry.
“I’m not playing any role?” you speak slowly, obviously confused, but Dabi doesn’t dwell on the confusion in your eyes or the way you step backward away from him. He follows you, stalking your every move until you’re backed against the door of his room, your doe eyes large and practically screaming for help, which only seemed to excite Dabi. You wouldn’t be finding a hero in this organization. No, you either learned how to swim, drown, or take everyone down with you. 
“Oh, so you’re not playing any games here?” Dabi asks, his hand slamming against the door right by your head, his head tilting as he leans in close to your face. He can basically breathe the anxiety spilling from your veins, festering, and throbbing underneath your skin as you find yourself unable to speak. “You joined our little group knowing that Shigaraki wanted to fuck you? Use you as the willing whore that you are?”
The fear drained from your eyes, and anger blazed instead, and for some reason, that only made Dabi more excited. He pressed up closer to you, the hardness of his cock, unable to be ignored as he pressed his swelling length to your hip.
“I’m not here to be Shigaraki’s whore,” you growled, your lips pulled back into a fearsome growl, but to Dabi, knowing the stupid, weak quirkless bitch that you were, made you look like some angry dumb puppy. “I’ve been just as wronged by this world as you have. Just because I didn’t burn off all my skin to prove I don’t fit in doesn’t mean I don’t have scars too.”
Dabi laughed, the smell of heat rising from his skin as he couldn’t help but display his power, couldn’t help but to warn you just who was capable of the most immense damage.
“Burn me,” you snapped, your nose nearly brushing against his. “Prove my fucking point.”
Dabi let out a throaty hum, the feeling of your stomach shifting against his tented pants, only serving to arouse him more. 
“Trust me, pup, I don’t have all my skin burned off,” Dabi couldn’t help but ignore your own issues of being upset as his mouth crashed against yours.
That night, Dabi realized that maybe you did serve this group in two ways, albeit one was much, much more important than the other. 
One, the lesser important reason: you brought in a new demographic. A new viewpoint of people who had been hurt by heroes and civilians who looked to All Might like a god. Quirkless people, and people with quirks that practically made them worthless, were seen as inferior because they weren’t unique. They could never be like All Might. And for that, they were seen as less, a group that deserved to die and were discriminated against for reasons far beyond their control.
Two, the more important reason: you were Dabi’s fuckhole.
This sexually frustrated, anger-fueled sex the two of you had was more than ideal, really. Dabi loved to fuck you whenever he needed, whenever he wanted. He took you anywhere and everywhere he wanted. Each time he grew bolder and bolder until he was fucking you during a meeting, fucking you while you were in a car with everyone, making your way to the next destination. 
He could care less about your whining pleas to only fuck in a room where no one could see, couldn’t care if you thought the alleyway was dirty, and the scent of dead burning bodies made your head spin. You were a quirkless fuckhole, and you would do as he told.
But Dabi would never admit you were his.
No, he would not.
Not now, not ever.
But there was something stupidly irritating and annoying hearing barely useful members of the now Paranormal Liberation Front. Everyone was obsessed with you, the useless quirkless girl who was weak and needed protection. Everyone loved the way your tits bounced when you hopped around excitedly, loved the way your ass shook when you were sitting at a bar because, for whatever damn reason, you could never sit on your fucking ass.
So, that’s where we find Dabi. His mouth pulled back into an unamused, angry snarl as you talked with some nameless member that Dabi thought was better off dead than as some deadweight help. 
“You can’t expect y/l/n-chan to be so kind to you when you’re quite the asshole to her, Dabi,” Compress chided Dabi as he took a smooth, slow drink from his sake. “You pester her daily, and from what the rumors tell me, harass her often enough that I’m surprised she hasn’t taken your face off.”
“She’s too fucking weak for that shit,” Dabi snapped, his eyes narrowing when your hand placed itself on the nameless shits arm. “She can’t do shit; that’s why she’s acting like a shallow whore. She’ll let anyone fuck her as long as it means she gets protected.”
Compress raised his eyebrow, his face not letting anything on as he slowly placed his glass down.
“Y/l/n-chan sleeps around?”
Dabi actually felt the heat rising from his skin. He didn’t know if you were, and the thought of knowing that someone other than him was fucking your tight little pussy after he did irritates him much more than he’d like. 
“I don’t fucking know, you’re the one telling me about fucking rumors. You tell me.”
“From what I hear, she doesn’t give in to anyone, despite the obvious flirting,” Compress shrugged when Dabi’s eyes locked on him in bewildered disbelief. “Why do you care, Dabi? You’re typically so aloof and annoyingly stoic. What about y/l/n-chan makes you so temperamental?”
Dabi felt his spine stiffen at those words, the inquisitive yet entirely sharp words that gutted him from the inside out. Dabi didn’t care for you. He knew he didn’t. If you dropped dead in the middle of the floor in three seconds, he knew he wouldn’t panic. He wouldn’t mourn you. He might mourn the warm body he fucked whenever he needed, sure, but not you, never just you. 
He blinked.
He didn’t need to like you for you to be his.
Heroes were what was wrong with society, but relationships were also what was wrong with people. The twisting desire for equality and equity between two different people when it should never be as such, to begin with. Dabi was powerful. You were quirkless and weak. Dabi held power, he was the one who should be deciding what you should be able to do, what you can’t, and something in the depths of his mind finally clicked. 
You were his.
You belonged to Dabi.
You were nothing without Dabi.
The laugh that poured from your lips and the man next to you, that Dabi swore he could hear right now, suddenly made sense as to why it bothered him. You don’t entertain or try to use things that don’t belong to you. You use only what is yours, and anyone who tries to touch what belongs to you is allowed capital punishment.
But Dabi, against better judgment, wasn’t a trigger happy idiot.
No, he was aware of the things idiots needed to see in order to back off. To understand that some things were there for free, and other things were already taken. He laughed, grabbing the rest of Compress’s sake and downing it before slamming it onto the table and standing up, ignoring the angered curses from Compress as he stalked toward you.
There weren’t many things in life that made Dabi lose control of his emotions, but knowing that you were out in the open without a clear mark that you were his was slowly making its way on that list. 
“Let’s go,” Dabi says, his voice perfectly calm despite the heat blazing off his every muscle. His hand was wrapped around your wrist, gripping your skin tightly as he tugged you from the barstool.
It didn’t take much for you to fall off the stool, your stupid way of sitting on bar stools allowed significant imbalance, and Dabi knew that a sharp tug is all it took to have you stumbling off.
“I was talking with Trumpet!” you cried, unable to keep from stumbling after Dabi, your eyes focused on Trumpet.
“I was speaking with y/n, if you would allow us to finish our—” Trumpet also piped up, his hands reaching to button up his suit as he stood.
“Shut up,” Dabi spoke coldly, his eyes narrowing just slightly as he took in his gaze. 
With that, Dabi continued to walk away, dragging your protesting form behind him with every great stride he took. Dabi didn’t know where he was walking, only knowing that he was ignoring every question and angry demand that filtered out of your mouth like white noise. He took sharp turns, disappearing into the alleys that he knew all too well until he found the spot he was looking for.
You were panting heavily when you suddenly slammed into Dabi’s back, exhaustion already setting in your bones from the awkward run you had to maintain in order to keep up with Dabi. You weren’t an idiot; you knew that Dabi wanted to fuck the moment that he appeared behind you with a wave of hot air. But you hadn’t expected it to be while you were in the middle of a conversation with Trumpet; while he was an asshole, Dabi always let you finish your conversations before taking you to fuck. But not this time.
Which worried you. 
Both of you had fucked the entire night last night. Your body had been abused in a million exciting ways as Dabi unleashed his libido onto you, and you had kept up swimmingly. Typically, a fuckfest like that was enough to satisfy him for a few days, two days at least, so to have him back on you within twelve hours was a bit of a shock. 
The sun was still in the sky, after all.
“You really know how to piss me the fuck off, y/n,” Dabi spoke, his tone and words ice-cold despite the blazing heat of his body. “Why is it that you think you have the right to flounder yourself off like some common bitch?”
You freeze. Oh? Was he jealous?
You had no time to even open your mouth to ask, most likely having taken too long to answer his question because his hand flared with heat, and you couldn’t help the scream that ripped through your throat. Tearing your hand from Dabi, you looked down at your burnt, throbbing skin. Your eyes widened, pained tears in your eyes as Dabi turned around, his eyes blank, cold, lifeless. 
“I’m not sure if I ever made this clear before,” Dabi asked, stalking toward you, and you whimper, holding your tender wrist to your chest as you feel something make contact with the back of your calves. “I don’t care about you. If you were to disappear the next day and never return, I wouldn’t care. Maybe I’d miss your pretty little pussy, but other than that… nothing. But you need to understand something for as long as we’re together and for how long we’re apart: you’re mine, y/n, just mine.”
Your eyes are wide, terrified of the monster before you. This wasn’t the Dabi that fucked you every night before this, this was someone else, and sour acid hits the back of your throat. 
His lips are on you without hesitation. The biting coldness of his staples on his cheeks and chin burn against your skin, and his hot hands are against the cold skin of your waist, and you gasp loudly. His tongue invades your mouth immediately, and you whimper, feeling how much colder his tongue was in comparison to yours. But you know what it’s like to share a bed with Dabi, you know that he knows of your bodies every twitch and innate desires, and like a trained dog, you cave to him despite the painful tears dripping down your cheeks.
His kisses are much like his fire, hot, encompassing, all-consuming until there was nothing left except the smell and taste of ashes and smoke. You fell to his needs immediately, the hot, swollen throb in your wrist going ignored as you kissed him back, wanting to taste the smoke on his tongue. So as the heat of his body evaporated the tears off your cheeks, you caved into his kisses. 
Your wrist throbbed as your hands reached up and curled into his hair. 
But the biting possessiveness of his body was all too apparent to you as his teeth buried into your tongue and sucked on it harshly. You gasped, your body arching into his touch as you opened your closed eyes to peer into his piercing lifeless eyes. 
You moaned, body trembling with the wild desire to make him feel good, to make yourself feel good. But you fell, his teeth letting go of your tongue and his calloused, burnt hands pushing you onto the object beneath you. The mildewy mold scent of the mattress beneath you burned into your nose, somehow damp even though there had been no rain for weeks.
Dabi was on you immediately, his body between your legs, lips simmering against your mouth once more, and his hand on your throat. His staples scraped against your chin, the cold metal scratching into your skin until it hurt. You can’t recall the last time he put this horrible power on his grips, you felt your head beginning to spin with the slow, dizzying throb of losing all oxygen, but Dabi took no mind to your struggles; in fact, it seemed to be enjoying it.
“Come on, doll, kiss me back like you actually fucking mean it,” Dabi snapped, his hands burning even more against your throat, and the other made contact with your pants. Your clothes were burnt to singe, the smell of burning fabric had long been a scent you had been familiar with, but you couldn’t even gather the energy to cry about the clothes he just burnt off your body. “Stop acting like a little bitch,” he growls, obviously noticing your shift in character, “be a good doll, and do as you’re told.”
Despite the burning, stabbing feeling in your skin, and the way you couldn’t keep the silent tears from stopping you from doing as you were told. You kiss him back as you once had before, your jaw dropping and your tongue reaching to meet his. 
Dabi growled, clearly liking the suddenly positive response from you, and you trembled against his hold. But, soon, a new scent filled your nose, a unique scent that aligned with the painful burning of flesh.
“You see, I don’t like it when things that belong to me don’t do what I want. I especially hate having to share things that are mine. Don’t get cocky, sweet thing, you’re my precious doll, but I don’t give a single shit about you,” Dabi spat against your lips, his mouth speaking against yours, and his eyes staring straight into your eyes. 
Or they would have been should you not have been in such trifling, nauseating pain as Dabi’s hand burned against your skin. His quirk sizzled against your skin, creating a perfect brand of his hand on your throat, but the pain was immeasurable, horrifically painful as you wailed against his mouth.
“Let me go, let me go, let me go!” you screamed, your hands fisting and pathetically slamming against Dabi’s shoulders, pleading to be shown mercy.
But Dabi merely looked down at you with sadistic disinterest, relishing in the way the smell of your burning skin wafted into his nose until he let go. 
You tried to scream, tried to cry to whatever god may be looking down at you to come and save you, but you found you couldn’t. The burnt, pussing bubbles of infected flesh bubbling on your throat were tight on your sweat-slicked skin, and every small movement made it feel worse.
“There we go!” Dabi grins again, his eyes wild and almost demented as he flips you over so that your naked ass is hanging out in the air, able to be manipulated to his will. The tears in your eyes were still streaming down your face, intermixing with the blood and popped blisters on your skin as Dabi pressed you into a position that would make things easier for him to fuck you in. “I can’t fuck you when your cunt is buried in this box.”
You make a noise, a small noise that sends a powerful wave of nausea through you as Dabi separates your legs and curls his fingers within your slick cunt. 
“Glad to see that your little pussy is still wet as fuck,” Dabi groans, his fingers scissoring deep within you, stretching out your hole until you pathetically cries into the mildew scented mattress. Your body pulsated with a different stimulus; the pain in your throat still burned and was feeling itchy. The thud in your wrist hurt to move. But the pleasure of his fingers buried deep in your cunt made your eyes cross and your mouth pant in the overcoming sensation of your pussy being tended to.
“D-Dabi,” you manage to croak out, the tears running down your cheeks, once more intermixing with the thick blood and puss on the burn. Your voice was disgustingly hoarse, sounding akin to someone with smoker's lungs. “P-Please.”
“P-Please what?” Dabi mocked, his hips grinding against your exposed, pert ass. You could feel the hard cock in his pants, the shift in the fabric as he dropped his own pants and underwear to rut his piercing covered cock through your asscheeks. “Don’t think about me fucking your ass, you dirty fucking bitch, I’m not gonna do that weird shit.”
“N-No!” you whimper, your unburnt hand reaching behind you to grab onto the fabric of his coat that he refused to remove. Somehow, the movement made the throbbing flesh on your throat hurt more, and you swallowed the rising bile in your throat, gagging. “D-Dabi, f-fuck!”
“You want something better than my fingers?” he continued to question, uncaring that he knew exactly what you meant by those words. He was too focused on the way your walls were much tighter around his fingers right now, a vice trap that made him both eager and unwilling to shove his cock deep within your womb just yet. 
You mewl in frustration, your hips shifting against his intruding fingers, desperate to get the coldness of his pierced cock within you already. The pain was still very much alive, but the pleasurable build in your core was quickly outweighing your mood. 
“Oh, I get it,” Dabi sighs, his fingers exiting your throbbing, soaked cunt, both his hands slamming onto your ass, gripping the flesh with all the strength he had. “You want another fucking brand. You want the world to know who you fucking belong to, who fucking owns you until the day you die.”
The words send a panicked throb in your stomach, but before you could protest, before you could make note that this was not something you wanted, his fingers grew hot. Hotter and hotter, they grew until the blue of his flame felt like scorching white heat under your skin. Impossibly unbearable pain and branding scarred into your skin as you’re able to ignore the resulting pain in your throat to scream so loudly, your voice bounces off the alley walls multiple times. 
You can’t see what he did, but you can tell that his handprints are scarred to your ass; you can feel the puss-filled blisters rising from the skin as Dabi continues to massage the skin as if it was a bruise and not some second-degree burn. You sobbed into the mattress, your face buried into the ugly fabric, snot, and tears pooling onto the surface until you were choking on your spit and rising bile. 
Before you could even adjust to the pain, your mind pounding and reeling with the stinging, melting sensation on your ass, something thick, cold, and pierced rams into your throbbing cunt. Your body lurches forward with the initial thrust, your body, despite the pain, jumping from the shock of Dabi’s cock entering you.
It’s a familiar feeling, a feeling you loved, but you can’t focus on the sense of the many balled piercing gliding against your ruffled walls. The extra stimulus pointedly ignored because the pain in your ass was currently outweighing the pleasure he was giving you. But Dabi doesn't care. Why would he care? You’re his doll, and right now, he’s in heaven. Your cunt was blistering hot against his cock and oh so fucking tight. Dabi knew why he was so obsessed with you, and it started with that tight pussy of yours that could milk him dry without even trying. 
Dabi smiled, his hands raising off the branded handprints on your ass that were caked with already horribly forming scabs, blisters, pus, and blood. He felt giddy seeing your ass, covered with trembles and sweat, covered with his handprint. There was no denying you were his, no denying that you were here to serve the League as nothing except his fuck doll. No one would want you now that you had three of his handprints branded on you, and not even he could love someone with as ugly scars on your body.
So, with the stammering, choking cries that poured from your mouth for Dabi to stop because his rutting hips slamming against your newly branded ass was too much, Dabi let his head drop back, flooded with the sense of elation and euphoria. 
You were his.
Finally his.
Only his.
“It hurts!” you screamed, your hips shifting in your feeble attempt to escape his barbaric hold. “It hurts, Dabi!”
“If it hurts so much, why the fuck is your cunt so wet?” Dabi mocked, his hips slamming into you with deeper, faster strokes. “Why the fuck are you moving your hips like a desperate whore if it hurts?”
You howl in your pain crossed pleasure, the tears soaking your face, and the mattress seemingly flowing from you without end in sight. Much like the squelching slick in your cunt that grows louder and louder and the Jacob's ladder on his cock pressed further and further into your warm velvet walls. 
“Because it hurts!” you screech, your fingers tearing into the mattress, your body spasming from the overload of sensation. Your mind slips through the cracks of consciousness, and the pain begins to override your mind.
“Oi, oi, oi!” Dabi yells, his hand coming down to slap the blistering brand on your ass, completely waking you back up. “Don’t you dare knock out on me, doll. I might call you a doll, but I don’t want you to be some fucking dumbass ragdoll when you’re on my cock!”
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your eyes crossing and your vision spinning with the onslaught of sharp, stinging pain. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Mm,” Dabi hums, clearly pleased with your apology. “Seems like after so long, you’ve finally accepted your useless, pathetic, quirkless ass can’t do shit.”
So, his hands shift from your ass and move onto your hips, enjoying the way your skin is so soft, so easily bruisable beneath his hold. Your body seems to block out the pain he brings to your body and only accept the lulling pleasure of it all. The noises of his drilling cock into your sobbing cunt is loud, the sopping noises loud and soft in both your ears. Dabi has half a mind to wonder if anyone would walk by the alleyway, hear your desperate, pathetic noises and call the cops. 
He smiles lazily as his cock brushes against the wall of your cervix. Would he kill you in front of them all and then them? Maybe he would make you beg for his cock more in front of the officers and kill them all should they be aroused. He laughed as his cock slammed into your cervix, the squealing pleasure ripping from your throat at the feeling, and Dabi felt light.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
How pathetic would that be?! Heroes getting aroused as he fucked such a poor girl in front of them! Of course, they’d have to be killed because that would be immoral of them, and not to mention that once anyone got a lustful eye on, you deserved to die.
You were his.
Only his. 
“Who does this pussy belong to?!” Dabi snaps, his hand grabbing your hair by the roots. “Who?”
“Dabi!” you laugh giddily, your face still streaming with tears, your lips bloody and bitten raw. “Dabi! Dabi! Dabi!”
Dabi growls in his satisfying pleasure, his hand throwing your head back onto the mattress, and his hands press onto your shoulders as he begins to thrust faster, harder, more power into your clenching tight cunt. His fingers tear into your skin, breaking the skin and watching the ruby red liquid ooze from your skin. 
That causes you to scream, your face twisted in slight pain, but Dabi presses onward. 
He has one last thing to do.
“Such a good fuck doll, don’t you think you deserve to be rewarded for being such a good fuck? For having such a sweet, tight pussy?” Dabi asks, his teeth biting against the nape of your neck as he continued to fuck you until fluids were beginning to seep from your cunt. “I’m going to make sure that everyone in the fucking world knows you belong to me, that you are my precious fucking doll and no one else's, okay?”
You keen loudly, your body shivering underneath his, and your head nodding, your tongue unable to produce any more words.
Dabi raised his finger, the tip blazing with a small, concentrated blue flame, and he makes contact with the skin on your back.
Dabi Dabi Dabi Dabi
His name is written repetitively on your back. The layers of skin on your back wholly burned off so that the twitching pink of your skin muscles are shown. No blood comes from there.
Dabi laughs, delighted with how fucking perfect you look with his name on your back, and you seemed to have flipped out of your broken mindset and shoved back into the horrors of the pain your body was experiencing. You gagged loudly, screaming and twitching with immense pain, but Dabi continues.
“You don’t mean shit to me, though, doll; I hope you know that!” Dabi snickers, his cock throbbing when he felt the familiar milking sensation of your cunt as you finally came around him. He continued to ram his cock into you, savagely uncaring of how you begged from him to stop, pathetically asked for him to heed. “You’re nothing more than my cumslut, nothing more than some stupid sex doll for me to use. And now you’re completely ruined! No one will want you with my brand all over you! No one will, and I sure as hell don’t want you forever!”
Your body stills under him, not quite limp as though you might pass out, but cold, frozen.
Dabi doesn’t care; he never has as he countries to hammer his cock within you, his tongue sweeping over his front teeth before spitting onto his branded name on your skin. You flinch greatly at the burning sensation, your eyes trying not to close with unconsciousness as ropes of his cum and seed spill into your cunt.
You lay there, unable to move, as Dabi stands up, quickly dressing and leaving you with a mere chuckle.
You were ruined forever, you suddenly realized as we make our way back to the beginning scene.
Cold, used, quirkless.
You had no purpose in life except to be Dabi’s whore, and even he didn’t want you.
The darkness consumed you in the worst of ways right then.
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wisteria-lodge · 3 years
Text
lion primary + slightly burnt snake secondary (bird model/performance)
Hi there! I’m a little nervous to send in this submission but I so grateful that you’re responding to people! Sorry in advance for being a bother, haha.
Burned Secondary. Calling it.
I’m a fae lion primary (freedom being the main internal compass) but I’m very confused about my secondary. I think its really burned or I’m just bad at figuring it out, because I didnt really vibe with any of the descriptions of the secondaries, whereas I took one look at the lion primary and knew that it was me pretty much instantaneously.
… doubling down on burnt secondary as a definite possibility.
I think I picked up a bird model when I was really young, though. I love learning and studying, but at some point I feel like you actually have to *do* something, and honestly find it frustrating to work with people who plan a lot.
Yeah, I don’t think you’re a Bird secondary.
In school people always assumed that I was this really academic person
Which is not the same thing as being a Bird, not even close.
but I really floundered in uni and ended up going to a program that allowed me some more freedom in dealing with issues, instead of being very by the book.
Oh excellent! You found a program that catered more to an improvisational style, love to hear it.
I think the reason I’m struggling with finding my secondary is that the bird model was what I used to get through school, and I find it hard to tell what’s underneath that sometimes. Especially as I really felt pigeonholed into being the “encyclopedia” of the friend group, even when it makes me miserable.
So it sounds like you’ve got some sort of Bird secondary *performance* that you dislike.
Every time I try to make a plan I end up going totally off-script anyways, to the point that most of my “plans” are just me saying very confidently that I totally have a plan.
I’ve noticed that in video games I tend to be the one that really likes to go hunting for alternate pathways and solutions, and I love being rewarded for being extra observant about an area or a place.
Love looking for unusual workarounds, incredibly observant and turned in to your environment? That sounds preeeetty Snake secondary.
I definitely have a bit of an obsession with exploring. But at the same time, I kind of hate using guides for stuff like that because I want to be the one to find it myself.
You’re not a Built secondary (Bird or Badger)
Part of the fun is that I dont have anyone helping me out.
I do think that freedom-loving Fae Lion primary is showing here.
One of the things I remember super fondly is the time that I was able to break into an in-game prison and then break out of it again just because I wanted to see how the game would react and what it would throw at me in the process. I was also more than willing to get in and out of the prison a few times just to see if there were any other ways to get in or out.
I think that “stir the pot just to see what will happen” is a very Snake Secondary trait.
I feel like a bad person for even saying it but I’m also scarily good at bullshitting. I’ve been told by people around me that I’m super insightful, when I’m almost always just making up as I go. I remember that one time a teacher told me I had written the most interesting interpretation of a piece of text he had seen, but in reality I was just going off of a gut feeling and a lot of “yeah, that sounds like I know what I’m talking about”.
And you didn’t vibe with the Snake secondary? Because this sounds like a Snake secondary. And there’s nothing to feel bad about, it’s just an alternate way of thinking.
… but the fact that you *DO* feel bad about it means that, yeah, it’s burnt.
I also remember that I got into a huge debate at school, and people were talking about how much of a good debater I was, but I was literally just able to sound *very* impassioned about a subject I knew nothing about. I remember having a lot of fun trying to counter what people were saying in the moment, and there was a sort of weird enjoyment in knowing that it was me that was making them agree, not the argument, if that makes any kind of sense.
Snakes don’t have to believe the mask the way Badgers do, and this is WAY too improvisational and off-the-cuff to be Actor Bird. And Lions, well. They aren’t ABLE to convincingly sound passionate about something they know nothing about. 
I’ve consistently been told that I’m a shit disturber (and proud).
Your secondary might be a little burnt, but that Lion Primary is doing JUST fine.
I think my best shit disturbing moment was when I realized that a friend of mine was lying about their beliefs, and pretty much managed to corner them into a place where they couldnt *not* admit it. I kind of feel bad about it because it sounds like I was being super manipulative, but I wasnt really doing it consciously so much as I was just watching the flow of the conversation and seeing that they were about to try and hand wave it away. I guess overall my way of dealing with new problems is to just say fuck it and let things happen the way that they need to, with the confidence that I can kind of just do what I need to in order to be successful. So to me, I feel like I’m either a snake who lost confidence in the method, or a lion that just likes arguing.
I am definitely, definitely seeing a [somewhat] Burnt Snake secondary here. And a really loud Lion Primary that colors things in a way that could definitely be confusing on your end.
Anyways, thank you so much for the help! Im so sorry that this is very stream of concious-y but I really appreciate it!
Seems all right to me :D
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mimiplaysgames · 3 years
Text
Terraqua Week Day 6 (Free Day)
Summary: Terra and Aqua are getting married—and Ven is the Bridezilla. || Word Count: 9,058
Read on AO3
A/N: @terraquaweek​ I could have never written this without my dear friend @localcryptideli​. We talked about this wedding years ago, and I promised to write it. It’s here, three years later, blending their headcanons with mine and I couldn’t be more proud of it. <3
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
the threads that tie hearts together
Terra never once considered in his entire life that his wedding preparations would include the perk of mice squeaking in his ear—but he here is, in the tailor’s studio, getting re-fitted for his tuxedo, with Princess Cinderella’s team of seamstress mice on his shoulders, measuring the length of his arms. His muscles were too big for the previous suit. 
Ven refuses to hire a proper tailor, and instead rents out the parlor so the mice could do their work in private.
Lea sits on a nearby bench by the shoe shelves, the top button of his shirt open, jabbing at his Gummiphone. He’s quite popular today, pinged every two minutes. Isa and Roxas share a mirror, trying to get the mechanics of their bow ties right. 
Terra is getting married. 
The thought. Married. Soon. Yes. Damn. He can’t cry right now.
Terra stands in front of a mirror and bends his elbows to see how the fabric moves. The mice are tiny, three of them in skirts. They’ve developed an efficient obstacle course of threads all down his entire body, a network so the mice on the floor can deliver them supplies—spools, sewing needles, thumbtacks, measuring tape—in a jiffy. 
Lea groans, squeezing his Gummiphone. “This twerp is going to turn me into a serial killer.” He yawns, possibly for the fortieth time.
“Not an ill-fitting job, all things considered,” Isa says from across the room.
“I do appreciate your sarcasm.”
“Who’s bothering you?” Terra asks, lifting his collar so the mouse on his left could thread through it with a sewing needle.
Lea snorts, slaps his knee and leans forward. “Did you not know your buddy is a monster?”
“Ven?”
“Oh, he’s a joy.” Lea holds his Gummiphone up as if he’s about to make a speech. “Come help me pick out Aqua’s flowers. Now. If you could.” He glances at Terra, then back at the phone. “He writes that in all-caps.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t mean to be so pushy.”
“The other day, he called me to model the bride’s dress because Miss Aqua couldn’t be bothered to come to the fitting herself.”
“Master Aqua was away on a mission,” Isa explains.
“Isa took photos of me in it—” Lea scrolls through his phone, but stops. “Oh, I can’t show you before...” He clicks his tongue. “It’s very nice. Very bridal.”
Terra is sure that’s true, but the image of Ven hanging his head so much on someone else’s wedding is worrisome. Last night, he fell asleep at dinner. “I think Ven is taking on too much stress.”
“Lea,” Roxas says, snorting a chuckle and giving up on his bow tie, “you should show him the texts.” 
“Gladly.” Lea stands to shove the Gummiphone into Terra’s face. Out of the history, a couple of messages stand out.
Ventus
I got 500 cake flavors come taste them with me
Ventus
Which cologne do you think terra should wear
COME SMELL 
i need a second opinion
Ventus
Do you have aqua’s flowers yet?
remember 
we want orange roses and bluestars
Ventus
Aqua isnt here im freaking out
Youre closest to her body type
HELP
After all that, Terra feels as though he’s being watched by several microscopic eyes. One of the mice squeaks with urgency, and he straightens one of his arms. “I don’t know what to say... Why doesn’t he talk to me directly?”
Lea purses his lips as though this is a secret not worth sharing. Roxas is the one to step forward, a knowing grimace plastered on his face.
“He told me that he doesn’t want to bother you with anything.”
That doesn’t sound entirely false but not true either.
“That’s ridiculous.” Terra tests the bend of the elbow to fiddle with his bow tie. It’s already done but something about it doesn’t sit right. “He could come to me for anything,” he says with a low voice, wondering if there’s something he’s missing. Terra has also been a mess. He’s getting married. Holy stars. 
Isa huffs out of frustration, turning away from the mirror, his bow tie undone. He studies Terra’s suit. “I don’t like it.”
His straightforwardness is well appreciated. Aqua would probably smirk at the sight of it and stare at his neck the entire ceremony. “I don’t either,” Terra says.
“Smart man.” Isa smirks, and tugs Terra’s bow tie to undo it. “Let’s change it.”
Lea snorts. “You might want to ask permission from he-who-shall-be-slapped.”
“It’s my wedding,” Terra says.
“So you think.”
He-who-may-be-slapped enters the tailor’s parlor through the front entrance, announced by the bell of the ring. He’s perfectly dressed in his ringbearer’s/best man’s/maid of honor’s suit, vest fitted, bow tie sublime, sleeves coiffed. He sees what Isa is doing. He gapes.
“Hey guys,” Ven asks with a frustratingly shaky voice. “What are we doing?”
“They are unbecoming,” Isa answers, wrapping a traditional tie around Terra’s neck.
“Oh.” 
Sometimes, speaking to Isa is like getting clocked in the stomach. By the looks of Lea’s expression, chewing on the edge of his Gummiphone, it’s well deserved.
“Okay,” Ven says, with a tight smile. He takes the tie from Isa’s hands. “Do they match?”
“A hello would be less rude,” Terra says. “Hi, Ven. Can we talk?”
Ven glances up. “Later. There’s lots to do.”
Lea inhales sharply. “Hey, Ven. Here’s an idea. Did you know you could tame cicadas to sing in harmony on command?”
Ven whips his head around. “You can?”
Isa brings a hand up to hide a smirk and Lea passes him a subtle wink.
“Picture it.” Lea opens his arms. “From nine until eleven at night, they gather in the bushes. They mutter, a light dusting of atmosphere on a peaceful summer night.”
Ven’s eyes grow wide with obsession. 
Roxas comes near. “You can also make them glow.”
“Like stars in the bushes,” Ven whispers to himself.
“Come on, guys,” Terra says, unimpressed. “Leave him alone. We’ve got better things to do.”
Ven snaps himself out of it, but not before pulling out a notepad and writing notes. He eyes Terra over, nudging him to open his arms and pinching the sides of the suit. Ven draws them in by the measure of a finger and pulls pins out of his pocket, like he’s been expecting to use them, and marks their places. “Jaq Jaq,” he calls, “where’s Suzy? We need to make sure these ties look right. Oh, and we need two extras—we have to ship some to Riku and Sora.”
Some mouse squeaks in reply.
“I can help her carry things.” Ven gives a flash of a smile and then hurries off.
Out of earshot, Lea gives Terra a look. “Anyone able to talk to mice is a crazy person in my book.”
Terra glares back and quotes, “‘You could tame cicadas to sing on command?’”
“He needs something to obsess over. How else am I going to get peace?”
“This is going to bite you in the ass,” Roxas says, wrapping his new tie over the neck and having a much easier time.
“Ventus may very well task you with hunting and gathering the cicadas,” Isa says, a tie already in place, immaculate. 
Lea groans and Terra feels it’s well deserved. 
Well deserved… the suit may be. The future wife, maybe not. The suit is a glove for every finger with no excess. It makes him a good-looking groom, a nice addition to the closet for any special occasion. The bride is beautiful, no matter what she wears. She is loyal, patient, strong, intelligent, loving, funny when she’s stern, too good for him, a divine gift he didn’t earn and he still can’t understand how she said yes.
“I hope you’re laughing at the face of my misery,” Lea says.
Terra knows that’s sarcasm. Weddings are headaches, emotions are terrifying and Terra needs Aqua like a sip of medicinal tea to calm down.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The others squeal when they walk into Le Grand Bistro. It’s sunset, the city lights already ignited and giving it the glow of evening fairies welcoming the moon. They’ve just discussed dresses—Xion requests a pantsuit instead, which looks stellar—and they can choose their own styles so long as they all wear the color of night. Simple, elegant. That’s the kind of effect Aqua prefers. Thank goodness they’re almost done. Aqua couldn’t handle more hands in her hair and she rejected the flower crown that would have come down on one side to compensate for the lack of length. 
She fiddles with the ring—a thin, intricate design weaved around a small, blue stone—as a waiter escorts them to the kitchen. On days when she doesn’t have missions, she wears it.
Aqua is getting married. Some part of her wonders about the surreality of it, like it’s a dream or a picture she created in her mind when she was a child, at the altar with a faceless person next to her. Sometimes, it feels like she is already married. Terra has always been with her. Every day in class. Every day strolling through the woods. Every day sparring, sharing meals, bickering and laughing. Her best friend, her confidant, her rock.
There is something about nearly dying that challenges perspective. When they both thought they’d never see each other again, it made them realize there’s more to it and there’s been more to it for years. The emotional intimacy that strengthened after the fact. The physicality of it, when he takes her to bed. They argue differently, they laugh the same. Terra has always been with her, so what is the difference between being with him and being married to him? A part of her is eager to find out. The other is already at peace, a kind of joy Aqua has always wanted.
Ven is in the kitchen, talking with Remy (responding to Remy, who is naturally unintelligible). Plates of cake pieces sprawl out on the table, eliciting oohs and aahs from the others, all patient like they’re waiting for Aqua’s permission to take a small bite.
Aqua reads through the description of flavors—strawberry, fudge, angel food cake with blueberries, red velvet, even coffee. “The one we requested isn’t here.”
“You mean…” Ven pulls out his notepad and looks through his notes. Remy climbs onto Ven’s head, squeaking and pointing to a bowl of flour and eggs, unmixed. “Dark chocolate and rum?”
“That would be correct.”
“A spicy cake? Are you insane?” At his shock and at Aqua’s denial, Kairi helps herself to a spoonful of vanilla. “This is a wedding, not a club!”
“My wedding, Ven.” Aqua isn’t annoyed, but amused. Ven has such strong opinions about for some reason. 
“Try this one.” He holds up a plate of a decorated piece that honestly looks delicious. “Triple chocolate, with the rarest berries found in the woods, matured at thirty-five degrees Celsius for a week.” 
“Burnt cake?” Kairi asks with a smirk.
“Not the cake, the berries.” 
“Oh,” Xion gasps, with need in her eyes. It takes a nod from Aqua to grab a fork and have at it. She approaches each piece with so much excitement— Aqua wonders if there are flavors here she’s never tried before in her short life. 
“What will the final cake look like?” Naminé asks, the only one not to dive forward. She’s so gentle, so serene. When they were trying out dresses, everyone was saying what a beautiful bride she’ll be one day if she chooses. 
“Perfect,” Ven says, like it’s the most obvious thing. “It has to be perfect so it will look beautiful. Painted like a night sky, with stars everywhere. You got that, Remy?”
Remy glares at Ven.
“I want,” Aqua starts, and when Ven frowns, she smirks. Sometimes, for the sake of maintaining control, she has to play dirty. “Rosewater and cardamom.” 
Ven sticks his tongue out in disgust.
“Terra needs something to enjoy,” Aqua insists. “These are all too sweet for him.”
“Terra is the bane of my existence.”
“By the way, I don’t know if I want King Mickey and Queen Minnie to officiate.”
“You are way more difficult to deal with.”
Aqua and Ven have a staring contest as the others talk about their favorite flavors. Ven, a glare, a challenge to outwit her. Aqua, a calm knowing that she’s going to win. Ven relents.
“Fine,” he stresses. “Remy, change of plans. We’ll need some damage control. Let’s add some”—he writes into his notepad—“fruit pastries, sweet cheese with chocolate—”
“Triple chocolate,” Kairi adds.
“Custard and kiwi,” Xion says.
“All good choices.” Ven writes them down.
“Sea salt ice cream?” Naminé says, lifting a shoulder. “Everyone else eats them, I hope to try some.”
“Ven.” Kairi slams a hand on the table. “You need to add marshmallows covered in hazelnut and chocolate.”
“We need all the chocolate,” Ven agrees. “Call it revenge on this nasty cake.”
Kairi cackles, but it’s nothing malicious. They’re young and excited about the wedding, their suggestions a way of helping. Aqua takes it all in stride. The small details don’t matter, only the intent, and letting friends have fun deciding makes the entire process easier. What’s bothering her is Ven. He’s exhausted from taking it all too seriously. Aqua assumes the best intentions, but she doesn’t get it.
“You know what would be really cute?” Xion says. “Little petit fours shaped in your symbols.”
Ven blinks. “What symbols?”
“Oh, the Keyblade Master symbols.” Naminé claps her hands. “That would be so lovely.”
“In different colors,” Xion says.
“Each a different flavor,” Naminé adds. “Maybe the same colors as your Wayfinders?”
“You two are geniuses.” Ven taps his notepad. “Remy, we gotta get to work.”
Remy stomps a paw and squeaks vigorously.
“No worries. You’ll get paid.” Though it seems that’s the last thing on Remy’s mind.
“Ven,” Aqua says softly, pulling him aside as the others brainstorm ideas. “I don’t think we can afford all this.”
“Sure you can,” he says too confidently, though she and Terra were the ones to save up their munny. “Don’t worry,” he stresses when she’s not convinced, giving her a squeeze on the arm. “You asked me to bookkeep your finances” 
“Reminder that I did not ask you to take full responsibility. Remy can’t do all of this alone, he’s going to need you.”
“I’ve got plenty of time, and we’ve got plenty of budget.”
Aqua does not know how that is possible. After the dresses, the refitting of Terra’s tux, the decorations… sure, since they’re using the ballroom in the Land of Departure, they saved on not having to rent out a venue, but the original plan was to have a small, intimate wedding in the woods, something private with just the three of them, minimal decorations necessary, all plucked from nature. 
All of this is out of their price range.
Ven goes back to the table, back to the stovetop and oven where he follows Remy’s instructions and mixes the flour in the bowl with some milk. He doesn’t assuage her at all, like he knows something she doesn’t.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Home should be a solace but not when it’s the wedding rehearsal. 
Ven has ushered in movers from different worlds to carry in artifacts, all decorations, all star-themed. Terra has yet to see the ballroom, but the amount of people rushing through the hallways makes him nervous. 
Ever since Terra called Riku in the dead of night (in a panic, needing someone to talk to, alone in the kitchen with a cracked mug of tea), blabbing about tripping on the way to the altar, or cutting the cake clean through the table, or stepping on linen and ripping the curtains, or dropping his plate of food, or looking like an idiot on the dance floor, or worse—forgetting his vows—he hasn’t lived a moment of peace. Sora won’t let him. 
Terra finds it hard to breathe. What if he chokes on his vows and accidentally offends everyone?
He stays far away from the workers—it’s for the best. No one needs a huge bull stampeding in a china shop, destroying everything.
Lea crosses the hallway on his sixth trip and enters one of two entrances to the ballroom, vases of flowers in his hands. Terra peeks. From the looks of it, Ven did a fantastic job. 
The ballroom, once gold, now looks like the set of night. The ceiling is covered in blue with twinkling lights. The table linens are also dark, with napkins and silverware sets a solid gold. Glass windows that take up one entire side to the ballroom are bare of curtains—the wedding is planned for after sunset so they’d be declaring their vows under the stars. Two navy blue carpets come in through both entrances of the ballroom, meeting in the middle and then straight to the altar at the far end. The point is for him and Aqua to enter together, like equals. With her in a bridal dress, she’ll look like a light in the darkness.
Through the doorway, Terra can see Riku and Sora, the latter making motions with his arms as if he’s flapping like a bird. Terra lets the door close so they don’t notice him. 
There are fears he’s never voiced.
What if she realizes she doesn’t want to get married to him after all? At the altar no less?
Oh stars, what if he makes a terrible husband? 
What if he neglects her?
What if, years down the road, she realizes after a slowly oncoming epiphany that she isn’t happy and regrets it?
Tonight is the party, tomorrow is the wedding, and Terra still has no vows. He pinches his nose hard enough to distract him from crying. He’s already cried five times in the arc of three hours.
Footsteps—light, brisque, confident, hers—approach him, and Terra embraces her in his arms, taking her in with a needy kiss. She smells like home, she lets him breathe again. 
“You look like you’re about to fall apart,” she says, stroking a thumb on his cheek.
“Not if you’re my glue.”
She snorts, smacking him on the bicep. “What did I say about the puns?”
“Shower you with them.”
He kisses her before she can roll her eyes—
—and gets interrupted the moment Ven peeks out of one door. 
“What’s with the hold-up?” he says.
Terra breaks from the kiss, casually noticing how Aqua is patting his shoulder, as if to warn him. “What’s with your attitude?”
Ven pouts like he’s about to choke and slaps the notepad to his forehead. “No one listens to me. I said baby blue and champagne on the napkins, all shaped to form the constellation of Juno… and they gave me yellow. I am gonna complain so much.”
“There are worse things?” Terra says and Aqua shakes his shoulder as another warning. 
Ven snaps his eyes open. “Get into position, we’re starting.”
Aqua stands behind one door and Terra goes to the other, waiting for the cue to enter. On the other side, Ven is speaking out loud, organizing people and where they should stand. Grooms and bridesmaids will enter the altar from behind and gather together, leaving the carpet only for the star couple (no pun intended). He interrupts himself, raising his voice about vases that match too much and Terra can imagine him pointing across the room.
“I have to tell you something,” Aqua loudly whispers from the other side of the hall. 
Terra runs to her and wraps an arm around her waist. Touching her is a panacea. Despite knowing there is still a possibility she’ll rethink this entire relationship, it seems unreal, like a nightmare.
“It’s about Ven,” she continues, keeping her voice low even though they’re the only ones in the hall.
“Lea threatened to slap him.”
She frowns.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Don’t you think it’s too expensive?”
“I don’t know. Ven doesn’t tell me how much anything costs.”
“It’s way more than we have saved up.”
Terra gapes. “Then how—?”
Aqua stammers, fiddling with her fingers. “I looked into his books.”
Terra melts into a breath-heavy laugh, careful to keep his voice out of it. “Reading people’s diaries? Aqua, I thought I knew you better.”
She blushes. “I didn’t mean to, but I was worried.” Now Terra is worried. Her expression is too serious. “Ven has been doing side-missions and hustles for months just to earn enough to hire the best chefs and tailors, to buy linens and all these flowers and carpets—” 
“He wouldn’t.”
“He did.”
“Why?” 
“I think it’s because he wants us to be happy.”
“We are.” Terra doesn’t appreciate how he doesn’t sound confident, scared he’s assuming too much on her behalf. “How could he just…”
“We were stuck in darkness for so long and he couldn’t help us.”
“But that’s not his fault.”
“He feels he is the weakest and wants to compensate.” Aqua grimaces and she blinks back tears. 
“I feel so guilty.”
“I feel worse.”
“Why?”
Aqua bites her lip. “I’m still attached to the idea of a small, intimate ceremony in the woods. Just the three of us. Does that make me a horrible person?”
“No. Our wedding has become a spectacle. Maybe pointing that out makes me terrible, too.”
She groans. “I found a book. I left it in your room. It’s very last minute, but there are some ancient rituals in there that I found so beautiful… the exchanging of rings is beautiful, too, but modern and there are some lost traditions from our Keyblade history that I’d love to do instead... if you could take a look?” 
The way she smiles, stars. Ancient, modern, he’d do anything for her. “Sure. I’ll read it tonight.”
Aqua winces. “He’ll be so angry with us.”
Terra squeezes her hand. “He wants us to be happy. Think about that.”
One of the doors burst open, and Lea sticks his head out. “Kindly stop being an ass and don’t keep your guests waiting anymore?”
They start: Terra at one entrance, Aqua on the other, entering the ballroom at the same time, where guests will watch them approach one another, like the shadow of the moon to a star. They meet at the point where their lanes merge into one. 
Terra offers his arm—
“Nonono,” Ven warns, running up to them. “You can’t meet her like this. You must bow at a forty-degree angle.” Ven scans the room frantically. “Here, I have a ruler.”
After that hiccup, Aqua finally takes Terra’s arm, walking down the single aisle, where guests can ogle at them. Their groomsmen and bridesmaids take pictures with their Gummiphones for their arrival at a wall of flowers. 
Sora has his hands behind his head and snickers when they reach the end. “I made sure the carpet is ironed out so she doesn’t fall with you.”
“I’m going to kick you in the shins,” Terra says.
He snorts and wipes his nose. “I’ll kick you back.”
At the altar, Ven is too excited to stop rambling. “We have to make sure that you arrive here, at this spot, at exactly nine-thirty so we can finish the vows at ten because...” He frames the windows with his hands. “We’ve got a perfect spot for star sighting so we need to be on time.”
“Do you mean, right after the wedding ceremony?” Aqua asks. 
“Before the reception, yup. We’re walking out to the balcony, we’ll watch the meteor shower where a new world will be born, then we’ll come back in for supper and dancing.” When he notices their stupefied faces, he continues, “I spent three weeks finding the right angulations so you can witness a unique astronomical event, and we’ve got a miracle of a spot right here so we can’t be late.”
“It’s a wonderful thought, Ven,” Aqua says, her voice shaky.
“Okay, now you get into position and face each other.” He points and they follow. “Next, Mickey and Minnie will talk some stuff, you know, all official, and then you say your vows.”
Terra freezes up. “Our vows.”
“Yeah. That’s what I said. You ready?”
Terra hesitates and Aqua speaks for him. “We’re keeping those a secret until tomorrow.”
Ven pauses, then shrugs. “Fair enough.”
Aqua doesn’t let Terra have another thought, leaning forward to kiss him in front of everyone (aahs and awws elicited), and ending the rehearsal.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“How do you get your skin so clear?” Kairi asks, though the warm glow of the fire makes for spectacular lighting. 
They’re camping in the woods near the waterfall, equipped with warm blankets and pillows, a bowl of cookies, and toasted marshmallows on sticks; Aqua’s vision of a bachelorette party. No gifts necessary.
“Mountain spring water does wonders for you,” Aqua says.
“I’ve read in a magazine,” Xion says, crawling out of her sleeping bag, “that some people like to put mud on their faces to get clean skin.”
“Why?” Naminé asks, chewing on a marshmallow.
“Something about the properties. Lots of good minerals.” She walks over to the creek, digging her hands into the dirt and smashing it into her face against the shocks and cries of the other girls. “If mountain water is good for you, then that must mean this mud is magical.” 
“Is that true?” Kairi says, though she’s asking no one. She hurries over and joins in on the mud-mashing, running fingers over Xion’s face in places she’s missed.
With globs of mud in their hands, they bring over the excess to the camp. 
Xion offers it to Aqua. “For beautiful skin on your special day?”
“It’s our job to pamper,” Kairi says with her hands out so that Naminé can scoop up the mud on her own. 
Aqua tries not to chuckle too loudly. It’s adorable. “Okay,” she says, and Xion gets to work, massaging it into her skin. It smells unpleasant, earthy and mukky. She closes her eyes and tries to relax regardless.
“I think we’re supposed to keep it on our faces for at least a half hour,” Xion says, rubbing more on Aqua’s nose. 
“This will make us prettier?” Naminé asks.
“Cleaner,” Kairi says. 
Naminé blinks, already covered in the mud and hesitating to put on more. “But we look dirty,” she says quietly.
“Can I request something, Miss Aqua?” Xion says, patting her fingers onto Aqua’s forehead.
“Certainly.”
“Can you tell us the story of how Terra proposed?”
Kairi jumps and squeals, and Naminé claps her hands, both of them chattering please, please, we’re dying to know.
“We’re around a fire,” Kairi says, as if that’s a convincing argument. “We’re supposed to tell stories.” 
“I feel bad for asking,” Naminé says. “You’re very private, and I don’t want to intrude…”
Aqua reads her face. “But you’re curious.”
Naminé pouts. Xion’s eyes go wide, and Kairi nods excitedly. Everyone is guilty as charged.
“It’s a simple story, I guess,” Aqua says, crossing her legs and watching the fire. It’s not often that she talks so openly about the details of her relationship. The two of them together is something people know, but never knowing where they come from and why, except for Ven—even then, there’s so much he never pries to. Watching their reactions is a little overwhelming. She rubs the stone on her ring. “Terra made the engagement ring with his own hands, but he took months to propose.”
“I remember that,” Xion says, sitting on her chair and smiling. “It annoyed Lea so much that he offered to set you both up just to get it over with.”
Aqua laughs. “I’m grateful we had it to ourselves.”
“Was it romantic?” Kairi asks.
“Not at all. I… knew he was up to something. I know him.” She lifts a shoulder. “He was burning breakfast too often, he couldn’t look me directly in the eye, and he left on his own to do more missions than usual. I took that as though he had done something wrong. The last time he was that clumsy and avoidant, it was because he accidentally cast Firaga in the library and was trying to hide it. Or when he broke the oven. Or when he offered to do my laundry but didn’t know how to treat my fabric and ruined my clothes.”
“He sounds like a clumsy oaf,” Kairi says.
That makes Aqua smile. She loves that oaf. “He is. The general rule of thumb is that a clumsy, avoidant Terra is usually hiding something.”
“So how did the proposal happen?” Naminé asks.
“I cornered him—”
Kairi snorts.
“—and he blurted it out.”
They giggle, Kairi acting out how that may have looked and Naminé holding her hands over her heart in a show of genuine affection. 
Aqua smiles to herself, a finger to her lips. It might be her favorite memory, her standing her ground and demanding to know what was going on. 
Terra, looking all around the terrace except for her face, guilty, guilty, guilty, pulling a box out of his pocket and stammering for a cohesive sentence. Well, I don’t know what to say, he had said, like a child getting grounded. I-I’m sorry. I’m dumb, I’m a big lump of a human being. He paused, his cheeks rounding up like he was about to vomit. Will…will you marry me, anyway?
It felt like racing in a train and pulling all the stops, crashing. He got red in the face, tears welling in his eyes and she realized he took her silence as rejection. Aqua had to hold his forearms, and all she could utter was a soft, I genuinely thought you burned down a building.
Terra’s eyes went wide. Do you mean you’re not mad?
Of course not. Why would I be?
So… He licked his lips, reaching for her but not touching her, forgetting that he had the box with the ring inside. What do you say? I mean, you don’t have to give me an answer straight away. I mean, I just thought you would… you know… because… He sighed. Yeah.
Aqua finally laughed, and kissed him on the cheek. Of course I will marry you, you beautiful dork.
The laughter quiets around the fire. They’re waiting for Aqua to continue her story.
“Then he drops the ring.”
They howl, melting into a blissful exchange of cheers and gossip, a vibrant hearth brighter than the one keeping them warm. 
“I had hoped to propose first, actually,” Aqua continues. She shrugs. “The end.”
“That was beautiful,” Naminé says, wiping her eyes.
“If Sora hears about this, he’ll never leave Terra alone,” Kairi says, grinning something mischievous. 
“I don’t know what love is supposed to look like,” Xion says thoughtfully, gazing at the sky. “But it sounds sweet.”
In Aqua’s opinion, the proposal was perfect, him scattered on the ground frantically searching for the ring, her on her knees helping him. How he slipped it on her finger, how they kissed for an hour in the dirt, unaware that they were dusty, unaware that anyone else existed in the world. 
Aqua nods, mostly to herself. It aches to be away from Terra tonight but it burns her insides to see him tomorrow and finally do this. Aqua wants to sleep and get this night over with but she doesn’t want to sleep so she could see the sunrise, knowing he’d be up early watching the same thing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bachelor parties aren’t fun.
Sora is whooping about a cannonball, the water splashing when he makes contact. Ven and Roxas race to the lake, testing who will be the first to dive, the first to swim across and come back. Considering the expanse of the surface area, they’ll be gone for a while and the barbecue will get cold, but maybe it’s for the best. It’s not the right time to talk to Ven right now, not when all of them have a moment of fun (except for Terra, the only one here thinking about tomorrow). Lea and Isa prefer to relax, sipping drinks on their chairs by the lanterns erected onto the sand, speaking quietly about memories, about chores, about home and what ifs. 
Terra sits by himself, the thin booklet Aqua gave him on his lap, tucked under layers of parchment. It’s titled The Way, no author. She was right: old Keyblade rituals are interesting, almost possessive, their focus on the literal binding of hearts. They’re from the Age of Fairytales, and Terra realizes as he reads through it that ancient Keyblade wielders were for some reason obsessed with the loss of memory and the prevention of it. The rituals sound painful, too—maybe Aqua has developed a mild taste of macabre from her time in the Realm of Darkness. 
All Terra has left to do are his vows. His stupid, dorky-sounding vows. He should have accepted the simple, “I do.” He shouldn’t have waited until the last minute.
He’s tried dramatic.
You are my other half, my heart, my breath of life, my sky, my angel, can we keep our souls together? 
He’s tried poetic.
The mountain will thirst if not for the water— 
He’s tried being honest.
I don’t know why you love me, but I’ll do my best to make it up to you.
All dumb.
Terra groans into his hands, eyes wide in existential blunder. 
“Keep doing that,” Riku says, setting a chair next to him and sitting down, “and you won’t be able to blink again.”
“I’m not finished.”
“But if you don’t sleep, then you’re more likely to have accidents.”
Terra gapes and almost whacks Riku on the side of the head from the sight of his constricted smirk. “You’re so mean. I called you one time.”
“In a huge panic talking about causing mass destruction of a wedding the worlds have never seen.” Riku shrugs nonchalantly. That’s his state of being—too cool for anything, too sensitive for everything. It’s refreshing. “It was the funniest phone conversation I’ve ever had.”
“I’ll never call you again.”
“Not in the middle of the night, please no.” Riku bites a forkful of steak. “Is it cliché to tell you to speak from the heart?”
“This entire conversation is cliché, but here I am, living it out.” Terra stares at his messy pages, where he pressed the pen so hard that it left ink blots.
“You could do the very committal thing and tell her you love her fifty times.”
“All the guests would leave by the time I reach twenty-five.”
“More like fifteen.”
“Ten.”
“Disaster.”
Terra grimaces, not entirely comforted, but not entirely anxious anymore, either. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“It is a big deal, I’ll give you that,” Riku says, more serious. “I don’t have any advice.”
“None of it makes sense. Be honest, but not too honest. Be loving, but don’t make it cheesy. Express yourself, but hold back on certain things. Do make it personal. Don’t expose personal details. How am I supposed to know how to do it right?” 
It would be easier if there are no witnesses. If it’s just Ven, if Aqua is the only person he’s talking to, if he could simply say, You’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I know I’ve fucked up. For as long as I live, I’ll never do that again. I will never take your forgiveness for granted.
And if she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, there’d be nothing he could say to make her stay.
“I think if Aqua was the kind of person who expected you to do it right,” Riku says, looking out to the lake where Ven and Roxas are swimming back to their shore, “you wouldn’t be marrying her.”
Terra bends the pages, exposing the cover of the thin, leather bound booklet. There are no vows he could use in there, except for the officiator declaring their hearts intertwined. “Thank you,” he mumbles.
“Sorry I can’t be of more help.” 
Riku pats him on the shoulder and leaves him alone to take a walk, Sora begging him to enter the water. Terra flips to a page where he’s repeated I love you, I love you all over, each in different calligraphy, like doodling, like losing his mind and procrastinating the night away, hoping that any moment, inspiration would drop bricks on him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It’s time.
The strangest part of the day is waiting it out in her bedroom until it’s her turn to show herself. Over the years, her bedroom has been a reflection of her personality. The cleanliness, the artifacts from her home world long ago, the size of the bed, the furniture—they all stayed the same. What’s come and gone were the paint colors, the bedsheets, the art on the wall, the smaller vanity mirror. Her bedroom is her old life, and she sits in front of the mirror in her bride’s dress, about to start a new one. For now, they both collide, as though her childhood doesn’t know her.
The cape dress is simple, plain white with the neck scooped across the collarbone. The sleeves slit at the shoulders, draping over to the floor with the rest of the train. Aqua couldn’t have asked for something better. She completes the look with the ring, a jeweled hair pin on one side, and an armored choker. Makeup is minimal. 
Aqua is surprisingly calm and the sun is going down. 
Her Gummiphone buzzes with a text message.
Terra
Let’s do it
Aqua sighs, not texting back immediately.
Aqua
I don’t want to break Ven’s heart
Terra
I’ll talk to him
We can both get what we want
I already stole some flowers from the wall
Don’t think he notices
She chuckles, moving a hair strand behind her ear. She hasn’t noticed that her stomach has been a knot, from excitement, from nerves, from anticipation. The sun takes so long to set. Terra is the warmth of a tight blanket.
Aqua
Will this label me as a runaway bride?
Terra takes a long time to answer, giving her the impression that he must have been distracted and forgot to reply. 
It buzzes.
Terra
The shame
Aqua
What will they think when they find out the groom seduced her to it
Terra
The scandal 
when they hear how she met him secretly at the creek 
an hour before the ceremony
It sounds like an action plan. Aqua picks up her bouquet of orange roses and bluestars from her vanity table, heading out the door.
Aqua
I want Ven there
Terra
Definitely
I love you
Aqua
I love you too
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Terra finds Ven in the dining room, taking inventory of an indulgement of sweets and a feast of meats, fritters, and rice. The wedding cake is as tall as his body, a dark blue with smacks of gold glitter in the shapes of galaxies, large stars framing each layer, and topped with two halos. Ven is mostly dressed in his vest and tie, the suit missing. By comparison, Terra is overdressed, a groom ready for his encore.
Ven sighs when he sneaks a cookie the shape of the Keyblade Master symbol into his mouth, as though Terra’s presence reminds him of disappointment. 
“I couldn’t tame the cicadas,” he says morosely, like he’s apologizing, and for a moment Terra second-guesses what he’s about to do. Ven eyes the white rope curled around Terra’s shoulder. “What’s that for?”
“This may either cheer you up or piss you off,” Terra says, dropping The Way on the counter.
“I don’t like how you said that.” As Ven flips through pages, he frowns, chewing on the side of his lip. “Are you... not happy with the wedding preparations?”
Terra inhales, caught off guard. “Of course I am. Happy, I mean. It’s… huge. It’s a giant ordeal.”
“And you don’t like that,” Ven says quietly, stroking one of the pages with his thumb.
“I think there are things we’ve always wanted to have privately.” Terra sits on a stool, but Ven won’t look him in the eye. “And we want you to be there. We can do it now. We’ll be back in time for our guests.”
The booklet shakes in his hands. “I messed up.”
“From my point of view, I’ll be eating very well tonight. There’s nothing to compensate for.”
Ven closes the book. “I just wanted to do a good job.”
“If you allow Lea to slap you, he’ll forgive you.” Terra smiles, but Ven doesn’t join him. “We’re still doing your grand ceremony—that, we could never pull off on our own. But we also want something tiny and ours, and we won’t do this without you.” Terra takes Ven’s hand and squeezes it, before glancing at the cake. “I hope it’s delicious.”
“It’s disgusting so you’ll definitely like it.”
“See, I can always count on you.” Terra stands up. “Now come on. You wouldn’t want us to be late for the bride.”
Terra takes him to the creek, not far from where Aqua hosted her bachelorette camp, where the sound of rushing water is gentle and the creek splits into two directions, one that would drip off the side of a cliff and one that would join a massive river downstream. The trees huddle close in the clearing, a soft shadow from the fierceness of the setting sun, like a pocket of protective magic in the middle of the forest. 
Ven gasps. “You stole my flowers.”
“Please, you didn’t even notice.” Terra had built an easy wooden arbor before the crack of dawn that morning, an arch weaved with orange and blue flowers, spotted every so often with green lilies. He showered right after so no one would suspect.
“Let’s take it over there.” Ven points to a short boulder against a tree nearby, a good photo op. They pluck the arbor up from both sides and plant it in front of the boulder. Ven takes stock of the sight. “Not bad.”
“Thanks!”
“I take credit for the choice of flowers.” Ven rolls the rope into a tight circle, layering it on the boulder with each loop in equal circumference. He splays the book open and studies. “It’s kinda creepy,” he says though he gets no response and he doesn’t ask for one.
Terra shoves his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo and waits. Aqua isn’t here yet. The vest constricts his breathing, the thicket suddenly feels humid, and Terra wipes his cheek, realizing that his heart is beating fast. Time sped up to this moment and dropped him here without warning. Now it’s slowing down out of pure, unjustifiable spite to torture him in the final hour. 
“You okay, dude?” Ven asks.
Terra lifts his face to the sky to keep the tears in his eyes. “If I cry now, I think I’ll cry for the rest of the night.”
Ven snorts. “No one would be surprised, trust me.”
But it’s not working. He’s two seconds from sobbing. “I don’t know. I…” He scoffs. “I can’t believe it’s happening. I’m expecting her to never show up or brush me off last minute when she realizes what we’re doing—”
“No.” Ven approaches Terra like he’s about to punch him in the stomach to make a point. “Don’t think like that, she’d never do that.” 
Ven has good faith and better timing. Aqua approaches the other side of the clearing, the fabric of her dress gracefully making waves with every step, the foliage fluttering light and shadow on her figure. She holds her bouquet in one hand and a framed photograph tucked under the other.
It shocks Terra.
He can’t stop the flow of tears. He covers his shivering lips and the drip of his nose, his face twisting from the sight of her—brilliant, like she’s made of stars, a gift walking the earth.
“Terra, are you okay?” Aqua asks, rushing to him now, the train of her dress bouncing behind her. 
In the flash of an instinct, Terra runs to meet her, tripping over a branch and landing right into her arms. 
“You’re—” Terra sucks air in, his heart shoving itself up his esophagus. “Y-you’re s-so beautiful.”
Aqua uses her pinky to wipe his tears. “So are you.”
“Let me help you.” He takes the frame—a portrait of the Master, bordered with a white ribbon—and walks her to the arbor. Ven takes the portrait and places it on the boulder, their little family tied together, fractured in glued pieces, now and always. Before they start, Terra asks Aqua to pose under the arbor so he can take a picture of the trees and the flowers surrounding her. Beautiful.
“How do we do this?” Terra asks when he finds his voice again, still trembling. Aqua stands to the side to take her place. She’s beautiful.
Ven takes the book in his hands. The description of this ritual covers at most two pages. “Well, it’s archaic. It’s from the Age of Fairytales but it sounds like we will intertwine your hearts—but in an intense way, like we’re sewing them together.”
Aqua holds her bouquet to her chest. “Shall we start?”
Terra chuckles too hard, gasping for breath. “Simple as that.”
They wait for Ven’s cue, who also has no idea how to do anything. Ven clears his throat, shrugs his shoulders, and reads:
“We witness today the soldering of two hearts. To intertwine like the roots of a tree, the severance painful, the nourishment plentiful. A physical bond, a magical one, the merging of two sprites under the guidance of one truth. Two hearts, but one.” Terra watches the way Aqua watches him. There’s no one else in the world, Ven’s voice disconnected, like it floats on air. “Now it says to summon your Keyblades. Dig the tips into the ground, and offer your hilts to each other.”
Ends of the Earth is massive, taller than Ven. Stormfall looks delicate but it’s menacing, sharp, direct. They offer their hilts, the shafts crossed over each other, Stormfall light and airy in his hand, Ends of the Earth weighty and thick in hers. 
Terra finds it interesting that they’re using the hilt to connect each other’s hearts—the Keyblade should never be used against a person’s heart in traditional Mastery, because it’s such a dangerous weapon and it’s so violating. The blunt hilt, on the other hand, the physical manifestation of their hearts, is like exposure, an offer of vulnerability. 
Aqua’s feels like it’s thrumming, singing. She’s happy.
Ven steps forward with the rope and ties it over the hilts in loops. “This is just an image, the ties that bind, two Keyblades, but one. To intertwine a heart is to forge a chain, a friend, a companion, a memory. If missing then a void, a dream, a wish until reunion.” He steps back into position. “Before we go on, I think this would be a nice place to say your vows. Terra, you first.”
Terra stammers, looking into her eyes. “I-I couldn’t write one. I’m sorry.” 
“It’s okay,” Ven whispers, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I wrote some just in case.”
Terra doesn’t take it. He licks his lips. “It wouldn’t have been graceful. None of it—all of my thoughts—pale in comparison to you, Aqua.” He steadies himself with labored breathing, the squeeze on her Keyblade like a hold on her waist. “You’re so, so beautiful, and I’ve spent my days believing I don’t deserve you, because… because I couldn’t make things right like I should have.” 
Aqua quivers, gently touching his arm with her free hand and motioning for him to breathe. 
He continues, “I’m sorry. I wish the Master was here. I wish I was smart enough to prevent it from happening.” He inhales, choking up from the mention of Eraqus. “I never thought you would marry me of all people, so… I promise... I will be there every step of the way. I promise you, if you’re scared at night, I’ll be there to protect you. If you’re hurting in another world, I’ll come find you. If you’re confused, I’ll hold you close and help you make sense of it. I’ll brew you tea to help you sleep, I’ll step in the line of fire even if you wish to do the same for me, I’ll walk to the ends of the earth to make sure you are safe and healthy. I promise I’ll be with you.
“And I’ll mess up. I know me. I’ll fix it. If you want to clobber me, I’ll be patient. I’ll learn. I’ll do better. Every day you save me from myself. This is the least I can do. I’ve loved you since I was a kid. I’ll love you every day.”
Silence falls on all of them, Terra sniffing just to get some fresh air, Ven wiping his eyes, Aqua blinking too much. 
“Now you, Aqua,” Ven says. 
Despite being teared up, Aqua holds it together. She’s so good at that.
“Terra, I stand with you because I do want to be here. I do want to be by your side. I do want to laugh at your bad jokes.” She relieves a giggle. “I love you. I have for as long as I can remember, even if I didn’t know the words for it.” She studies his face. “I’m sure the Master is here with us, and he couldn’t be prouder of you. I’m proud of you.” Suddenly, she switches her tone, as if to lecture. “And if you even fathom taking a hit for me, remember that I’m faster than you. I’ll protect you first.” Then she softens. “I promise to be your shelter when the storm falls on us. I promise to sit on your bedside when you’re sick, to lift you up when you’re down about yourself, because you are sometimes. 
“You are my home, no matter how far your heart is from me. If you need a star to light your way back, I’ll give it to you.” She smiles widely, like she’s about to laugh. “If something between us breaks, I’ll mend it with you. I can’t imagine my life any other way.”
Their words are now spoken. Aqua suppresses a laugh and grins like a child. Terra holds his breath, just in case he screams from every emotion that he can’t name.  
“Well,” Ven says, rolling his sleeve up so he could wipe his nose on his forearm. “I guess it’s time. This bond is an oath you will remember each other until you close your eyes for the last time, for the tragedy to forget is to be alone forever. Do you accept this?”
“I do,” Terra says.
Aqua hums. “Yes, I do.”
Ven smiles. “You know what to do.”
With his free hand, Terra presses two fingers to his chest, over his heart, where he builds a golden glow. Twenty years living with her, ten years in darkness thinking about her, this vow is impossible to break—even if they can’t do this any longer, Terra could never forget her. Never. In his hand is now a piece of himself, a nugget of his heart, a memory of her in his bed that he never wants to lose.
He takes those fingers to her chest, two thick golden threads drawn out from his heart. She winces at the touch, quick to dissolve. Stormfall shifts in his hand, growing longer, its hilt thicker and darker, wrapping around like a weaved shield. A subtle change, a little piece of him.
Aqua does the same, fingers to her chest first to create the threads, bringing them to his chest. It does hurt, like a needle digging into his skin, sharp for the entire length until it’s suddenly gone. 
He feels full, as though his insides are creating space for something extra. Warm, frightening, whole, exciting. Her piece is a memory he can’t read but he doesn’t need to. Ends of the Earth opens way for an icy blade to cut through the middle as the hilt fans out like wings. A piece of her to take with him where he goes.
“Alright,” Ven chirps, snapping the booklet closed. “The book ends with the quote, Two hearts, only one, but I think this means I can call you husband and wife in secret. So kiss.”
Their Keyblades dissipate when they hold each other, tender but with appetite, unaware of their surroundings for several selfish moments. With sewn threads, it’s as though he breathes through her. Terra presses her onto him, feeling how her heart now beats in sync with his.
“I love you,” she whispers. They are married. 
He’ll never tire of hearing it. Stars, they are married. “I love you, too.”
Terra hears Ven sniff before a handkerchief is shoved into his face. “You need your face dry and clean before everyone sees you,” Ven says. 
The sunset now is deep, a fiery orange. Terra doesn’t want to let go.
“I’ll hold you again tonight,” Aqua says, patting his chest. “I want to see the meteor shower Ven promised.”
“It’ll be a good one,” Ven assures.
Terra kisses her. “Then we have to make a run for it.” He picks Ven up like a log, jogging through the thicket of the forest with Aqua close behind him, the Master in her arms. When they approach the castle, in the twilight, they hear chatter coming from the halls, as though ghosts are partying outside. 
Terra feels at peace despite that he now has to perform, balancing on a tightrope where he doesn’t care if he falls. He turns around and holds her neck to kiss her again, feeling her laughter in his mouth. “One more?” he asks when they break. 
Ven, still tucked in Terra’s arm, groans. “I never asked for a front seat to the kissing show. Is this my punishment?”
Aqua kisses him one more time, whispering to him I love you for what will be a string of I love you’s in the night to come. Friends will cheer, Terra will trip on the way to the altar, Sora will cry because Terra will cry, Xion will eat too much cake and get sick, Isa will laugh because he is drunk, Kairi will be the star of the dance, Aqua will be the star in his eyes. 
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saejinws · 3 years
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let’s get it! it’s chey ( she/her ), bringing you wishbone’s act #2, paksae. he’s an indie artist with heavy influence from the bedroom pop & chillwave micro-genres, as you can gather from his three official singles at the moment: cassette, karma & late night movie. if discord is more convenient for you, you can add me there ( stream do or not#1490 ), but otherwise, i’m usually reachable in ims! here are saejin’s links : career / stats / plots / pinterest, and hopefully all the other information you need will be found below.
the story.
saejin was lucky enough to be born into a relatively happy family, albeit a small one. both parents are only children, so he didn’t have aunts, uncles or cousins, and only his maternal grandparents were heavily involved with the family, but it was alright! lower middle class, mom who made him watch bird documentaries, dad who had a face made out of stone, but there was still a lot of love. it was nice.
the first big change happened when his little sister ( saebyeol ) was born. her existence put a tragic end to his legacy as the park family’s number one baby, considering she’s a whole eight years younger than him.
in the next year, his mom was diagnosed with a chronic illness; one that would see her rapidly going in and out of hospitals for years to come, so the days of naïve happiness were over for saejin. from that point on, it was about “cherishing every moment” and “living life to the fullest” and “not wasting breath on things that can’t be changed”.
aka his mom’s circumstances meant that he was constantly getting scolded by doctors, rns, family friends, his dad, whoever for displaying negative emotions. was shut down a lot, told that he was being a hassle and that he needed to make things easier for his mom. learned to suppress his emotions unless they were positive.
but while most adults in his life were trying to teach him how to be realistic and approach life with an understanding that nothing is easy, his mom worked hard to do the exact opposite. constantly pushed him to chase his dreams because life is so short, and when he decided that he was going to pursue music, she was the first person to tell him to go for it and give it his all.
got his first guitar at age 14, which is when he started writing his own songs and messing around with editing software, but it wasn’t until 2015 that he started playing his music for people. started in coffee shops ( at this point, his songs were entirely acoustic ), then started playing in clubs in hongdae, which is when he started experimenting with his sound. struggled to gain attention. can’t think of what it’s called rn, but there’s a set amount of tickets that opening acts have to sell to earn their spot in a lineup; saejin’s parents and close friends usually bought a tonnn to help him out because strangers wouldn’t give him the time of day. a nobody. hung out after his sets to meet people, but nobody wanted to meet him. pain.
popularity steadily grew over time, and by late 2019, he was in talks with wishbone records. by the new year, he was a signed artist.
assumed that having a record deal guaranteed International Stardom, so you can imagine his surprise when his first music video hardly gained 5k views in the entire debut week... it was an eye-opening experience for him. realized that the grind was, in fact, not over yet. 
his popularity is on a steady incline, but he still isn’t anywhere close to being a household name. very lowkey. he pretends that he doesn’t care, but it eats away at him. spends most of his time in his studio nowadays, trying to create a song that will pull him into the charts. becoming more distant from his parents because he’s so caught up in work, so that’ll probably come back around to bite him in the ass eventually but yk... oh well.
saebyeol is the only family member whom he couldn’t distance himself from if she tried because she’s a parasite. always at his apartment or blowing up his phone, which drives him absolutely crazy because her favorite pastime is ruthlessly bullying him. she’s a little demon.
the character.
park saejin, aka PAKSAE. ‘97. seoulite. soloist.
social introvert. he prefers to spend time alone and usually doesn’t seek company, but if he’s approached first, he’s a relatively open book. forms bonds quickly.
gets unreasonably attached to his friends in short periods of time, so he tries to keep his circle small. he can only deal with wondering why three people aren’t texting him back in a single day: any more than that and he spirals.
pretty optimistic view of life, i think. could’ve become jaded due to his mom’s situation, but she’s made huge efforts to keep his worries minimal and be the best role model she can be in her circumstances. has tried to instill a “life is short, so embrace every moment with open arms” mentality in both of her kids, which saejin picked up on a whole lot more than his little sister has. you probably wouldn’t assume this by listening to his Pity Party Songs ( as saebyeol puts it ), but he’s a happy guy!
on the topic of his pity party songs, all three of his singles so far are a bit sad/melancholic, detailing looking back on the ending of something. he rarely expresses sadness or regret in his day-to-day life, but he considers music to be an outlet. the one place he can be as real as he wants without being criticized. ( that’s what he thought before, anyway. nowadays, he’s constantly getting comments about how nobody wants to listen to him cry about his breakups. fair enough. )
his appearance contradicts his personality. on the outside, he seems like a very loud, expressive person: vibrant colors, unusual materials ( silk chiffon, organza, velvet, etc ), lots of accessories such as gaudy rings, y2k-style beaded necklaces & polymer clay earrings that he probably buys from etsy. but he’s really, really chill & soft-spoken, tries to blend in even though it’s... impossible when he looks the way that he does.
gets most of his social interaction through the sporadic gigs that he plays. on stage, he’s highly expressive and interactive with his fans. when i think of his stage presence, i think of artists like lauv & troye sivan: he utilizes all of his stage space, even when performing more mellow songs. doesn’t want to just stand around and bore his audience. but nowadays, he rarely waits around to meet people because he’s become even more introverted than he was before. in his day-to-day life, there are only about three people whom he contacts frequently and always shows up for. otherwise, his connections are situational: associates the people in his life with certain places, things or activities and rarely meets up with them outside those situations. prefers to communicate through texts or social media messages if he can, but even then, if you aren’t one of his three closest friends, it’s difficult to reach him unless he needs or wants something.
but even tho he’s SUCH a loner... he’s what i like to call a serial romantic. not on a dating ban and also not that popular anyway, so he goes on a lot of dates. blind dates, tinder dates, whatever. texting his friends like “i think i’m in love” twice a month but he’s never talking about the same person. wears a heart-shaped rose quartz pendant to try to manifest meeting his soulmate but he doesn’t want to be clowned for believing in the power of crystals/stones ( or for being so obsessed with love even though it’s OBVIOUS if you listen to his music ) so he says he just wears it ‘cause it’s nice to look at. 
his stage name, 박새, is a type of bird. it’s usually stylized as paksae, so most people don’t question it much, but eventually his intl fanbase got curious about what it means and popped the hangul into a translator: lo and behold, he’s now “affectionately” referred to by fans in english-speaking regions as tit. it isn’t saebyeol’s fault but he’s definitely found a way to blame her for it.
if you go to any of his music videos, you will find numerous comments from paksaeanti05. that’s saebyeol. usually she’s hating on him, but if anyone ELSE tries to hate on him, she turns into a keyboard warrior. she’s his biggest critic and his most loyal supporter.
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maskedjoker · 4 years
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We are getting really close to the scene in lost fragment of snow that was genuinely confusing in the book, and it's the scene were everyone in the circus is killed. I think what we will probably get is a scene were mana finally ends up giving into despair after he is hit and then allen is fed to a lion.
I think that with more current info, i can say for sure that sleeve earl and mana are a hybird. This will likely cause a resurgence of sleeve earl into taking over the body and becoming whole. This only lasts for a short time however and when cross confronts him after the rest of the circus has died from the audience turning into akuma(which i suppose are implied to be constantly just around the earl and is probably one of the many reasons cross warned Allen to stay away) some exchange of words or damage causes a lots of control. This damage however also hurts mana(or potentially just being forced out off control) causing him to loose even more memories as seen when mana and Allen reunite the next day.
Now i think we can agree that sleeve earl exists as a third entity, especially since her recent art exhibit interview, as she talked about the suit being a super sophisticated golem. I think in this case as with tim and lero yhat "golem" refers to AI. Id argue with the weird phrasing like helix of life and all the biotech style that magic is more often than not just more advanced technology, and wherever the noahs came from likely was, hence why they say they only seem strong because we have become so weak. This is only further shown with innocences resemblance to machines like its gear like parts and percentage resonance.
The noah memories in general i think are some kind of AI that passes through generation lines, carrying significant portions of its past forward and then fusing with a similar person in their lineage. For example early on road would have been just road, then through some means either became an AI(or was given a piece of someone that counts as one under golem, its unclear). Regardless once connected to the noah memory, it acts like a save file and becomes more sophisticated with time. It carries each life and gives all those memories, feelings and drives to a new body. So new road would remember being road, her life and everything, but also the life they had been living up until the two combined. Over time the noah memory keeps getting larger and larger to the point new experiences are so small, relatively speaking, that it overrides much more than normal. Since they are fuzed as one being they likely cant be separated without mutually assured destruction, were the current entity will die and any remains will not be the origionals, if anything remains at all. An example of this is that tyki could not be made human by Allen I their fight i the arc, despite having a blade that should destroy only part of him. Admittedly tyki is a special case though, and more tyki backstory is needed.
Changes from body to body become more subtle, but the base, which likely has a distinct core function as seen by its response to certain tasks and ideas, remains a strong aspect. This creates an almost reincarnation like effect for them, needing to only find a new body to continue.
The suit is like this, but different. I don't know how the original earl split, but i do think that some aspect of him was placed on the suit. I would like to say its the original version of the noah memories of the earl and nea got like a brand new copy, but i actually have no idea what memories he has of being past earl so its mostly a guess. Regardless the noah actually all seem to transform in some way when they get mega pissed. Im looking at you skinn, jasdevi, and tyki/joyd. So the suit is likely that kind of thing, but way more distinct and capable of acting autonomously. Since they all have different forms it makes sense that his would also be unique. They all probably represent some inner desire related to their memory. Skinn is just rage so big angry man works fine. Jasdero and devit are bonds so they want most to be one. Tyki got all fucked up before he changed so i got nothing, but it had a heavy does of sadism, which I guess is pleasure? Taking into account that killing in horrible graphic ways is his guilty pleasure it kinda makes sense.
So because of that, this sentient AI is constantly trying to pair with half a fucking brain because nea and mana only share one brain cell. Some kind of resistance from mana or strain causes him to constantly fall ill or comatose. Now to be clear on naming, sleeve earl does not refer to themselves as adam in the mirror scene nor does he refer to mana as adam, and only uses "we" when talking to mana about being the earl. Oddly enough the earls self pronouns are we, using wagashi which is kind of like the japanese equivalent of the royal we used in europe for the entirety of the series. For the record, mana in the flashbacks uses male or single they pronouns, i don't remember if he uses boku or watashi, but he uses at least one if not both.
So from this it seems millennium earl is a title, used by whatever is paired with the suit. Adam is the original name of the noah, and is the preferred name of the current earl aside from the title.
This circumstance was likely caused by the rest of the noah, who are using the earl for something related by the pillar. His separation either by accident or by intent was likely by the hands of his family trying to keep control for their ends. This is why the current earl is called a broken puppet and has so many things around him related to acting and stage plays. He is playing a role, the red clown to allens white clown as stated in the ark arc. He even wears a mask. His memories and mind have been damaged though, therefore broken. However broken puppet for both allen and the earl could also refer to a puppet that doesnt work as a double meaning, implying they can no longer be controlled or puppeted.
It is also implied that he is still unaware of this betrayal, but it is likely nea does to some degree as it would explain why he became a traitor and killed his own family. To be clear, i dont think all of the noah know everything, and i dont think they dont actually care for the earl. It seems they still genuinely follow him to their death and see him as one of their own, especially in cases like road, tyki and wisely.
Now early i said that different generations of noah would cope woth reincarnating differently. Since the earl only died once before 7000 years ago, id say resetting to a new body with only 17 years would be just smashed flat by any algorithm with that much data. However manas feelings are still the newest, and so still have an impact even on the current earl.
Now we come to resurrecting mana. How? Why? Well i dont know. But my guess is whatever part was the memories of mana for the 20 or so years he lived, or at least his memories at death, are in allen. His curse and weird hallucinations of mana seem to suggest it. Alternatively that part of his soul may have passed on, or it fuzed with the noah memory making the origional mana part of the hive and much like tyki and his noah memories cannot be seperated. Not good regardless.
As two additional things, i want to mention that hoshino is a twin and has always been obsessed with it, so having twins in her book was inevitable. What is extra weird is hoshino was actually going to be a triplet, but either her or her sister absorbed it before birth. She has mentioned it in dgm interviews and i cant PROVE it translates to anything in the plot but its suspicious. She also still list mana, nea and the earl as distinct in every book up to date in extra novels and at the start of her books. Oh and her favorite hat for the earl right now? The one featured on the most recent chapter? Has two faces on the front that are visible, and one in the back thats hidden, and the most recent art has the back face as the only one visible, angrily staring allen down. Great art foreshadowing if im right. Its also usually sleeve earl, if not exclusively, that wear it.
The second thing is mana talking about love and drive in the most recent chapter just brings up the earl having the noah memory of love or devotion or something for me. Ive written about it before but it just seems to fit. This character is all about that from the ability to fuze loved ones together to the hearts he talks with and his drives being based on grand acts of devotion, being by their side etc. Mana also loved and adopted both and dog and a homeless child and keeps talking about how the world is so beautiful despite all the bad. The earl literally acts like the whole noah clans mom by his own words and cooks for them, and both of them go out of their way to be cartoony to break tension. The earl literally goes and buys a single red rose from a poor girl while tyki pontificate on how he doesnt act like a villain. He doesnt take an umbrella because he wants to feel the rain. He talks about how what he does is in human nature and requires a connection between two people. He is even designed with his ideal colors as red and purple with white, as well as being designed after flowers. I know this probably doesnt make sense, but its stuck in my head.
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Serendipity - Part I. (Harry Styles)
a/n: i am BEYOND excited to share this story with you guys! i’ve been working on it for over a month now if not more and what started as just a oneshot, slowly grew into this massive fic. i really hope you’ll love the story of Harry and Lis bc im obsessed with them haha. please feel free to share your thoughts and reactions about the chapter and the fic itself!
pairing: Harry x OC (Annalise Lloyd)
word count: 8k
SERIES MASTERPOST  ⚫️ my masterlist  ⚫️  come and talk to me about Serendipity!  ⚫️ consider buying me a coffee!
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Serendipity (n.) Finding something good without looking for it.
There are people who plot out their New Year’s Eve plan even months before the last day of the year, making sure they will be celebrating the upcoming year at the best party possible. And then there are the folks who just ignore it until the very last moment and end up spending at a random place with even more random people.
Harry Styles desperately wanted to be the first kind, but unfortunately often found himself falling into the second case scenario. With his busy schedule and endless ocean of his upcoming projects, he never really had time to think about the last party of the day and usually ended up just tagging along some of his friends wherever they headed to. This year was no different, having to work up until even the last few days of the year, Harry had little to no thought about where he would be when the clock strikes midnight.
Just about a day before it, one of his old high school friends, Griff hits him up with a text if he would want to join them for the celebration at the pub he opened not that long ago. Harry didn’t think twice to accept the invitation, finally checking one more thing off his list, so he won’t just stay at home, and pathetically fall asleep at ten.
It’s nothing big or fancy, Griff assures him in the morning when he rings his friend up to ask when he should arrive and what he should bring.
“Nothing, ey? Just come and ‘ave a good time with us,” Griff tells him, though he already knows Harry won’t show up empty handed.
 December 31st
A little before seven Harry opts for a quick shower before he dives deep in his wardrobe to find something to wear. He is torn between wearing a fancy outfit or something cozier, but eventually stands up for the latter, putting on a pair of light washed jeans, a simple white button up and a seaweed green knitted jumper under his coat. He doesn’t pay much attention to his hair, his curls falling around his head in a messy, warm brown halo. It’s been raining all day, it wouldn’t have had any use to try to tame them.
Slowly but surely, Harry feels the buzz in himself, excited to see his old friends and maybe meet some new people while having drinks and just relaxing. He grabs a bottle of fancy whiskey from his bar and heads out around eight.
Griff is one of the few people Harry stayed in touch with after his career launched so abruptly, the two of them often met up whenever Harry was around, having a pint together, just chatting up. Griff bought an old pub a few years prior and completely renewed it, opened at the beginning of the year, Harry was there at the opening party, he had way too much to drink, but he surely had a great time.
“There he is! My favorite arrogant son of a bitch!” Harry immediately hears as soon as he steps into the pub that’s already quite filled.
The tall lad makes his way through the groups of guests until he can envelop his old friend in a warm, brotherly hug as Harry chuckles at the name he just called him. Griff always loved that line from Harry’s song and never missed a chance to call him that. He doesn’t mind though, keeps that playful side of their friendship he always adored so much.
“Good to see you, mate,” Harry smirks at him. “Here, this is for yeh.” He holds out the pricey drink and Griff shakes his head at him.
“Told ya not to bring anything!” he sighs but accepts the gift anyway, knowing well Harry would just sneak into the back anyway and leave the liquor on his desk. “We ‘ave a nice evening ahead of us. Got food, drinks, everything’s on me, take what yeh want,” Griff assures him as the two of them walk further inside.
Harry sees a few familiar faces, high school friends, kids from around the neighborhood that are now grown adults, just like him, but there are quite a lot of guests he doesn’t know.
“C’mon, yeh need t’ ‘ave a welcome drink with me,” Griff grins as he pulls Harry to the bar and fills up two shot glasses generously. Harry doesn’t even bother to ask him what it is, he just takes the glass willingly and after they clink in the middle they both send it down.
Harry grimaces as the hard liquor burns down his throat, Griff never played around with the soft drinks, he knows what hits the best and fastest and Harry figures it’s one of those drinks that would have him crawling on the floor after two more shots.
It doesn’t take Harry long to mix and mingle, get into conversations and meet new people, just enjoying the welcoming and warm atmosphere of the party. He is pleased to see that people treat him just like any other guest, rather than a famous person and he is beyond thankful for that.
Near the bar, Griff has set up a quite rich buffet table filled with all kinds of snacks and food. It’s way past ten when Harry shuffles over there feeling his stomach growling. He grabs a paper plate and his eyes roam everything that’s set on the table. Humming to himself he decides to opt for the delicious looking fries, his mouth drools just at the sight of them, so he puts a generous amount to his plate before his eyes spot the bowl of peas. That’s exactly what he needs to go with the fries.
He goes a little overboard, but he couldn’t care less. Once he is satisfied with his meal he puts back the spoon that was sat in the bowl of peas, right when someone reaches for it. Glancing up his gaze meets a pair of warm brown eyes and a shy, but playful smile. Harry can’t stop himself from smiling instantly as the woman takes the spoon and fills her plate with peas. He looks down and sees that her plate is filled with the exact same things: fries and peas.
“Excellent choice,” he smirks teasingly and her eyes snap down to her plate before she sees the similarity on Harry’s plate. She lets out an airy chuckle before she tugs her chestnut colored, wavy locks behind her ears with her now free hand.
“Mother always told me to balance the junk out with something healthy,” she admits, the corners of her mouth curling up as she blinks a little shy under Harry’s burning gaze.
He always knew he had an eye for pretty things and he never dared to deny himself from admiring them once he laid his eyes on something he found breathtaking. She was by far the prettiest thing he has seen in quite some time, so he doesn’t shy away from taking in her figure in front of him. Delicious looking curves dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a sheer shirt with a top underneath it, the front tugged into the waist of the jeans. Her hair looks effortless, but he can tell she probably spent some time forming the natural looking waves before coming here. The thin eyeliner makes her eyes appear more cat-like and her long lashes dance around with each look she pays him.
“You want to—um, sit?” she stammers nodding towards an empty table near the buffet, a soft blush tainting her soft skin. Harry absolutely adores the hint of innocence in her features.
“’fcourse,” he nods and follows her.
The two of them move over to the table and sit down with their meal, Harry sneaking a fry into his mouth right away.
“’M Harry, by the way,” he says, realizing he hasn’t even introduced himself just yet. Some people tend to look at him weird whenever he does it, as if it should be common knowledge to know who he is, but he never takes it for granted. Luckily, she doesn’t find it funny or weird that he introduced himself.
“Annalise. But everyone just calls me Lis,” she explains and holds out a hand for him, which at first looks a little odd and he can tell she regrets the motion, but he appreciates it, even finds it cute. So before she can pull her hand back he takes it and gives it a soft shake. “So what brings you here tonight?” she asks as both of them digs into their food.
“Griff invited me, saved me last minute, didn’t have any plans.”
“How do you know him?”
Harry finds it amusing that she didn’t bring up that a famous person like him would probably have tons of invitations to fancy parties. He hates when people assume that his social life is blossoming at all times, packed with parties and events to attend every day.
“We went to high school together. Stayed in touch through the years.”
Lis nods with a small smile before her eyes return to the plate in front of her.
“How ‘bout you?”
“Oh, um… Well, Griff and I had a blind date like ages ago, but we both figured out pretty quickly we are never gonna be more than just friends. But that we are perfect for. Have been meeting up every once in a while. I was kind of in the same shoe like you, wasn’t planning on coming out tonight, but… I was forced to,” she admits with a nervous chuckle.
“Y’ don’t like to go out?”
“I—uh, don’t really have the time,” she answers, clearly a bit nervous at the topic so Harry decides to just drop it.
The two of them sit there, just talking and eating and with each passing moment Harry finds himself more and more enchanted by the woman sitting on his right. The way she rambles sometimes, how her nose scrunches whenever she is laughing hard, how she likes to keep tugging her hair behind her ears all the time, are the smallest things but they easily catch Harry’s attention.
Besides, she is not just the looks, also an amazing company. Easy to talk about anything, even the riskier things too. She doesn’t shy away from giving her honest and raw opinion, but also doesn’t attack if someone thinks differently. Instead, she is open to other point of views, seeking opportunities to learn and grow. It’s a mindset Harry values highly and feels like it’s hard to find it. But on this evening in his mate’s pub, he found a gem, it feels like.
The plates soon get swapped to beers and Lis is getting giddier with each gulp, which he finds amusing, especially because she lets her thoughts slip without thinking about them and it allows Harry to look into that pretty head of hers easier.
He doesn’t fail to notice how his heart flutters every time she touches his arm or hand whenever she is deep in a story. The warm touch of her soft hand is sending him into trembling and he is glad they are sitting because he surely would be having a hard time keeping himself up on his feet. She is just the kind of person that wraps others around her fingers without even trying or noticing.
Though it’s only been over an hour since he first laid his eyes on her, he feels like he has known her for ages. The connection built up fast and smoothly, sweeping Harry right off his feet. He’s got it bad for her and he already knows he wants to see her again once this night ends.
“Oh, it’s almost midnight!” Annalise gasps snapping out of her thoughts, a hand snapping to Harry’s upper arm. The crowd is starting to buzz, getting ready for the count down.
“C’mon, let’s get some champagne,” Harry tells her and helps her up from her seat.
They head to the bar and each of them grabs a flute filled with the sparkly alcohol. They stand a little to the side, but still mingled in the crowd of guests. Harry can feel his hands getting sweaty as he thinks about the countdown. Every fiber in his body is aching to kiss her, even though he knows it’s quite crazy knowing the fact they have known each other for only two hours. But he just can’t help it, she has a spell on him with just one look, making him act like a teenager in love.
Annalise peeks up at Harry with a lazy smile, the drinks have made her a little lightheaded, but she is nowhere near being drunk. Her thoughts are absolutely clear and they all focus on the man standing close to her.
Harry watches her bite into her bottom lip and he wonders if she is thinking about the same thing. If she’d be mad if he kissed her when the clock strikes midnight or slap him right across his face. He notices as she draws a deep breath, eyes looking around before they return to him.
“Get yo’ drinks, lads!” Griff shouts from somewhere behind the bar and those who haven’t picked up a glass quickly work on the problem.
Then the countdown begins.
“Ten!... Nine!... Eight!...”
Annalise glances up at Harry and her cheeks blush when she catches him already looking at her. She wishes she had her beer so she could hide in her glass from his burning eyes.
“Seven!... Six!...”
Harry turns so his whole body is facing her and takes just one tiny step towards her. When she doesn’t back away from him, he takes it as a sign that she might want the same thing as him.
“Five!... Four!...”
She looks straight up at him with a sheepish smile and pushes herself against him right when his free hand finds its way to her waist. She sucks in a sharp breath, but doesn’t move while Harry is aching to taste her plump, soft lips.
“Three!... Two!... One!... Happy New Year!”
The crowd cheers as one, guests are clapping and screaming, welcoming the new year with high hopes and full of planes for the new chapter that just started.
Harry and Annalise lock eyes and while everything around them is a full chaos, he feels like a bubble of silence and tranquility is surrounding them. Harry sucks in his breath, lips parted as he doesn’t break his gaze with hers. There’s a moment of hesitation, but the voice in the back of his mind tells him that he can’t let this moment go to waste.
Fuck it! He tells himself before he leans down and his lips meet hers in a soft, warm and breathtaking kiss.
He is a man who believes in magic, in things he can’t explain rationally, he is a man who doesn’t try to pull reality into everything when something odd happens. When his lips meet hers, he is swept right off his feet with just that tiny touch. It’s not a demanding kiss, very restricted and shy, but it still makes his insides tremble for her, almost falling to his knees right in front of her.
There’s a moment of hesitation from her side, when their lips are just touching in a little awkward way, but it fades into nothing before Harry could wrap his head around it, her lips parting as she lets him deepen the kiss, a soft moan slipping out of her throat that brings a knot to his stomach.
The moment is so vivid, raw and intoxicating, he wishes he could bottle it up and open it to have a taste of her anytime later, keep her in his pocket just to have her lips glued to his like this whenever he needs to be grounded or taken away from the world. His fingers dig into her waist, pulling her close to his body, hoping to just merge into her, become one with the woman in his arms.
She softly glides her hands up his arms, through his shoulders before they stop at the back of his neck, digging into his soft curls, while never breaking the kiss. Their lips stay melted together, tongues and teeth clashing, they are a hot mess in the first minutes of the new year.
The cheering slowly dies down and the usual buzzing of conversations and laughter replaces it, but the two of them are still busy with each other and it takes quite some time to pull themselves out of the bubble they created.
“Happy New Year, Lis,” Harry smiles down, lips swollen, eyes glistening from the joy that’s filling up his veins. She glances up at him shyly from under her lashes.
“Happy New Year, Harry,” she whispers, biting into her bottom lip, coming off the high this little make out session gave her.  
One hour passes by, then another and the party is starting to slowly die down. People are flaking out the door, the crowd is getting smaller with each door opening.
Harry and Annalise remain in the corner of the place after their kiss, a barrier that’s been noticeably present before has come down as Harry has his arm swung over the back of her chair and she lets herself lean against his side. There’s something so calming and tranquil in just being so close to each other, sharing thoughts and stories while his fingers graze on her shoulder gently and her head always falls to his shoulder when she laughs on something. He loves her laugh, it could easily light up any place and Harry can’t help but feel sorry for the people who don’t see her shine. So many guests didn’t get the chance to get to know her, but on the other hand, he is a bit selfish, he wants her all to himself. No one else should have the honor of making her laugh or bringing a smile to her perfect lips. He wants her all to himself, even if it makes him sound like a mad man.
After she leaves to the restroom, she comes back with her phone in her hands and a tired smile playing on her lips.
“I, uhh—called an Uber. I really should get going,” she tells him and he wants to make her stay. He wants this evening to last forever, but he can’t ask her to stay longer than she wants, so he just slowly nods.
“I’ll walk you out,” he offers, but it’s more like a fact.
The two of them find their coats on the packed rack, Annalise says goodbye to the handful of people she knows, hugging Griff before they head outside to wait for her car to arrive.
“I really enjoyed tonight,” Harry mumbles, shoving his hands into his coat’s pockets, feeling like a nervous teenage boy talking to his crush. She glances up at him with a smile, but there’s something clouding her eyes he can’t really put his finger on.
“Me too,” she assures him, a pair of headlights turning the corner and they both look in the approaching car’s direction before facing each other. “It was really great meeting you, Harry. Take care of yourself in the new year,” she tells her, but he doesn’t like the weight of her words. It sounds like a proper goodbye, like she is bracing herself to never meet him again, but he can’t let that happen.
“Can I—Uh, can I have your number? I would love to take you out sometime.”
The car stops next to them and she nods in the driver’s way to let him know she’s the one he is supposed to pick up. Taking a step to the backseat, she looks back at Harry.
“I’m really sorry, Harry, but we can’t.”
Devastation washes over him, her words are like a punch into his stomach each. Why is she rejecting him? Did she not enjoy the evening? Did he say something stupid? She seemed to be having a great time, so why can’t he see her again?
“What? Are you sure? Because I really loved tonight and would love to see you again.”
Annalise opens the car door and shoots him an apologetic look. He has never felt this helpless in his life, than at that moment, looking at the woman of his dreams escape from his reach.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t get into… whatever it is you want from me. I really am sorry, I wish it was different.”
“But I just want to see you again. I thought… You didn’t feel like it was something special?” he breathes out, feeling the world crashing down on him with each passing moment.
“I did, but I can’t do this. I’m sorry. Take care, Harry,” she sighs, clearly not happy about her own actions and he doesn’t understand why she is fleeing away like this.
He stands there, completely frozen as she gets into the car and shuts the door open. Their eyes meet through the window one last time before the car starts moving and she falls out of his view. He stares after her until the very last moment, when the car disappears at the end of the street, leaving him in pieces from the major rejection he just suffered.
He stays out there until his nose and cheeks turn red and his ears are freezing off, part of him wishing that if he just waits she’s gonna magically reappear and tell him it was just a joke. He can’t believe he met such a wonderful creature and had to let her go like she didn’t flip his whole world upside down under just a couple of hours. Does she know how much of an effect she had on him?
She probably doesn’t, he thinks to herself, because then she wouldn’t have left so abruptly and without a trace for him to find her again.
When Harry returns to the pub, he is met with a tipsy Griff, shoving a pint into his hand immediately.
“Ay, saw you hanging with Lis all night!” he teases Harry, but the mentioning of her name just makes his heart ache. However, knowing that Griff is friends with her, he is ready to use him as a way to get to her.
“Yeah, hey, you have her number?” he asks, trying his best to look as innocent as possible, but Griff sees right through him, even with all the alcohol in his body.
“Sorry, mate. F’she didn’t give it to ya, I won’t go against her.”
“I’m begging you, Griff. I need to see her again!” he sighs in despair, ready to do anything he can to get to her.
“Y’not the first bloke to fall for her magic. I know what it feels like, but I can’t do anything, sorry.” He shrugs his shoulders, giving an apologetic look to his friend before he joins another conversation.
Harry could scream from the frustration, the urge to punch something or someone is growing with each passing moment, but he has to realize there’s nothing he can do at this point other than accept the fact that he met this wonderful woman, had the best night with her and then was forced to watch her walk out of his life before she could even become part of it properly.
Harry starts to realize that what he thought about heartbreaks is nothing compared to the feeling Annalise left in his heavy heart.
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There has to be a solid reason for what she did. Or did not do.
Endless theories about Annalise flood his mind through the days following that night when he was forced to watch her leave on such a bitter and painful note. Harry couldn’t stop himself from making up the most ridiculous cases just to give himself a possible peace of mind, but neither of them brought him enough comfort to forget about her.
His best shot was that she had a boyfriend, or even worse, a husband. This was the only version that sounded somewhat real and believable, though he just knew she is not the type of woman to cheat on a significant other.
How would you know? You spent just one evening with her, she could be a serial killer for all you know! Harry’s rational side was always quick to shut him down when his thought swirled around the idea of knowing her well enough to assume anything about her.
As the days dragged by him in a painful pace, he slowly had to realize it’s going to be a question in his life he’ll never get an answer to, so he just has to learn to live with the thought of the woman that got away.
The end of January rolls around faster than he could comprehend, February comes and he finds himself spending his days mostly in the studio, cooking up new music. Studio sessions are his favorite. That’s his element, he feels safe and comfortable, surrounded by people he trusts and enjoys creating his art fully. In the new year, he has also been eager to pick up a new hobby so he has been trying himself out in knitting and painting recently, finding both of them just a tad bit too hard for him just yet, but they were enough to get his mind off of the one woman who was constantly occupying his thoughts following New Year’s Eve.
Sitting in an armchair in the studio, he and his bandmates are listening back to some recordings they did today and he is trying to find that one thing that keeps throwing him off whenever he hears the song.
“I think it’s great,” Mitch states once the recording ends, and Harry agrees, it is great, but not the best.
“Maybe we could tone down the keyboard a little through the bridge, give more space for the guitar,” he contemplates, but really, he is just shooting in the dark, not sure what it is that keeps him on edge about the song.
“Why don’t we have a break?” Sarah suggests with a warm smile, seeing how everyone is keen on leaving for a little, except Harry, who is still fixated on mastering the song. But he agrees to have the break, however while everyone gets ready to leave and grab something to eat from the diner that’s around the corner, Harry stays where he is, eyes glued to his notebook.
“You’re not coming?” Charlotte asks him and he just shakes his head.
“No, not that hungry.” He looks up and shoots them a short smile and though they all can tell he could use the time out, they know him enough already that he won’t leave before he finds what’s not right.
“Alright. We’ll be back in an hour,” Mitch informs him and he dismisses them all with a nod.
He stays right there, going through the lyrics a few more times, making tiny changes in hopes that it’ll fix it all, but he can feel himself growing frustrated. Doesn’t matter how hard he is trying, he realizes his brain needs a break. Letting out a defeated huff he leans back, looking around in the empty studio. He doesn’t feel particularly hungry, but he could use something to snack on. So grabbing his coat he locks up the studio and heads out to the nearby Tesco they usually run out during sessions.
He is still humming the melody to himself when he walks in, a pair of sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, his famous curls hidden under a green beanie. He doesn’t bother to get a cart or basket, just strolls inside and roams down the aisles, trying to decide what he desires.
He settles on some kind of canned tea and a protein bar, but before he heads towards the cash registers, he wanders down the aisle where they keep cereals, looking around aimlessly. It’s the middle of the day on a weekday, most people are at work at this hour, so just a few other customers are lingering around, filling their carts. At first, he doesn’t pay any attention to the figure a little further down the aisle, his eyes are glued to the shelves, but then he just mindlessly glances to his left, his brain not even processing what, or who he is seeing at first. Then he takes a double take and his stomach drops to the tiled floor when he recognizes the woman, deep in her thoughts to decide which cereal to buy.
Annalise is standing just a few meters away from him, looking just as beautiful as he remembered, wearing a pair of simple jeans, light blue sneakers and a white jacket, her hair is in a loose ponytail on the top of her head.
“Lis?” he calls out, as if he thinks she is just a ghost. Taking a few steps closer he watches as her eyes fall from the products on the shelves to him, then they widen and her lips part in shock.
“Harry? Wha-what are you doing here?” she asks and Harry is quick to read the panic out of her tone as she looks around cautiously.
“I’m… shopping?” he answers with a soft chuckle, holding up the items in his hands.
“Haven’t seen you around here.”
“The studio we use is nearby, I drop by sometimes. But today is clearly my lucky day.” Even though her reaction is giving him doubts, he can’t hide his joy upon seeing her again, fate clearly playing on his side this time.
“Uh, yeah?” she lets out an anxious chuckle, her eyes often wandering off him, as if she is waiting for someone to show up and it just fuels Harry’s rich theories about her.
“So, are you here with your boyfriend?” he boldly asks, deciding to just go for it. Annalise’s eyes widen once again, but not in a way that makes him think he just busted her, it’s more of a confused one.
“Boyfriend? What are you talking about?”
“Well, you basically ran away from me that night, I figured you had someone and that’s why you didn’t want to give me your number.” He tries his best not to sound petty or bitter, though that’s exactly what he’s been feeling ever since she left that night.
“Harry, that’s… not the case.”
“Okay, so does this mean you’ll give me your number this time?” he tries and he is so busy with her presence, he doesn’t even notice when a smaller frame runs past him down the aisle.
“Mommy! I want this!”
At first, he doesn’t even register that the little boy is talking to Annalise, he dismisses his presence, eyes still fixated on her, but then her gaze leaves him and turns down to the boy, holding up a bar of chocolate.
“Honey, that’s too big. Choose something smaller, alright?”
It takes Harry a few moments to put one and one together. This kid just ran up to her, called her mommy and most likely not on accident since she answered him, very much talking to him like his mother. Though Harry can’t see his own face, he knows it fell, shock completely taking over him as his thoughts finally add up. Annalise looks back at him in panic, completely puzzled about what to do or say.
“Benji, go get another one, a smaller one while I talk to my friend here,” Annalise softly tells the boy.
He turns to Harry, eyes meeting his as he cocks his head to the side, examining the shocked adult standing in front of him.
“Who’s this?” he blurts out.
“Just a friend, alright? Go get your chocolate,” she urges. Benji gives Harry another look before nodding and running off, leaving them alone once again in the cereal aisle. “Harry, I-I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to know.”
“Are you married?” is his first question, taking her by surprise.
“What?”
“The father. Is he your husband?” he urges, eager to clear the picture. Annalise shakes her head.
“No, we were never even married.”
He feels relief washing over him. At least at this point he doesn’t feel like a homewrecker. If he found out she wasn’t only a mother but also married, and that she cheated on the dude with him, that would have crushed him. But it’s one less thing to worry about on a long list.
“Okay, it’s fine. You are not married, it’s all good,” he breathes out and it brings her a smile through this absurd situation.
“You thought I was married?”
“Or at least had a boyfriend, yeah,” he nods, hands on his hips as he licks his lips. He surely had a mini panic attack, but he can feel the life coming back into his body.
“Do I come off like the kind to cheat that easily?” she asks with raised eyebrows, but she didn’t take it as an offense, she more like finds it funny rather than hurtful.
“No, not at all! I was just trying to figure out why you rejected me and this was my best shot!”
“I’m sorry, Harry. I just… I didn’t know how to tell and I didn’t really think you would want to see me again after that night.”
“I think I made it clear that I wanted to when I asked for your number.”
“Well, yes, but I thought you just wanted a hookup and that’s just not what I can do.”
“Because of…” he gestures towards the boy that jolted down the aisle just a few minutes ago.
“Because of Benji, yeah.”
“Alright, it’s understandable, but I did not just want a hookup, and that’s still not what I want,” he clears, his words certainly surprising her. This is definitely not what she was expecting when she came down to get groceries today.
“Harry…” she breathes out, already feeling guilty that she is about to turn him down once again. “You can’t be serious.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m a single mother with a six year-old and you are… you.”
“I don’t see your point,” he truthfully answers.
“I’m not some model you chatted up at some award show, who is living her best life, traveling the world just like you. My days consist of work, doing laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, doing first grade homework, going to football practice and watching cartoons. We are polar opposites.”
“No, just our lifestyles, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get closer.”
“Is that really what you want?”
Harry is about to answer right when Benji emerges again, proudly holding up a bar of KitKat in his hand this time.
“This one! This one!” he declares, stopping next to Annalise.
“Okay, put it in,” she nods and the little boy throws the chocolate into the cart with a beaming smile. Her eyes flicker back to Harry, who is now staring down at Benji, who is seemingly not that interested in him at the moment, his attention is more focused on the cereals on the shelves.
She is aware she can’t really push this conversation, but she also doesn’t want Benji to hear it.
“Benji, can you get me three apples? I’ll go get paper towels in the next aisle, alright?”
“Three?” he asks holding up three fingers to make sure he heard her right.
“Yes.”
Benji nods and runs off once again, while Annalise grabs a random box of cereal off the shelf and starts pushing her cart, Harry walking along with him.
“It’s nice that you want to prove that you are fine with whatever baggage I come with, but I’m not stupid, Harry. I know I’m not the jackpot and I’m not naïve, I’m not trying to make myself believe that I’m easy to date when I’m clearly not.”
“You act like you are the only single parent out in the dating field. I genuinely don’t think that it’s that big of a deal.”
“Yeah, that’s what you are saying now. But then we would get more involved, you’d grow frustrated that I can’t just go after you whenever you feel like it, or that I would have to cancel on plans because Benji is sick or has homework to do that he needs help with. Or that my Friday night consists of playing board games, then watching whatever cartoon Benji is keen on seeing and I’m in bed by ten while you probably spend these nights out with your friends, hopping from one bar to the other. And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t, that’s exactly what you should be doing at your age… at our age. But for me, it’s just different.”
She is not talking just out of theories. She has tried to date, several times, but it was always kind of doomed from the beginning. Men in their mid-twenties don’t want to be a stand-in dad, though it’s completely not what she expects. But as time went by, they all grew tired of having to deal with a kid in the relationship and they all ended up leaving and she can’t even blame them. It’s not what they want in life at this point, but she can’t be what they wanted her to be so slowly but surely she gave up on finding a man before she turns thirty and her peers start to get into the whole idea of having a family that’s already been her reality since she was eighteen.
And the situation is even more complicated with Harry. An international rockstar is definitely not the right person for her and vice versa. She can only imagine what some lowlifes would think when they found out he is dating a single mother. People can be cruel for no damn reason and she is definitely not in the right mindset to be humiliated just because she is a mother.
The two of them move down to the next aisle so she can grab the paper towels along with some dish soap. Harry is keen on making her understand that he is still very much interested and he has nothing against her being a mother. It was just a little shocking to find out this way, instead of hearing about it from her.
“I think you have an unreasonable picture in your head of what my life is like,” he explains. “Yes, I do travel a lot and I go to parties, but it’s not what I do most in life. And I’m not expecting you to turn your whole life around for me.”
“Yeah, but dating me is kind of me asking you to turn your whole life around for us,” she simply says and he is stunned at her words, having nothing to bring up against them. “Look,” she sighs. “I appreciate the effort and everything, but I want to save you the time, just like I originally wanted to. I know that it seems reasonable now, but once you get involved, it’s a whole different world, I’m telling you. And while I would love to give you the chance to prove me wrong, I still have to think about Benji. I can’t just drag someone into his life and then have them leave when they figure out it’s not what they want after all. He needs stability around him and it’s enough that he can’t get that from his father.”
Harry has a million questions roaming in his head that he is dying to ask. Mostly about the father, because if he is not in the picture, he can’t imagine what kind of scumbag he is for leaving someone like her. But he keeps them all to himself, especially when Benji appears again with the three apples, putting them into the cart with a proud smile. The boy turns to Harry this time, finally acknowledging his presence.
“Who are you?” he asks. Harry looks down at him and pushes everything else into the back of his mind as he hunches down a bit, holding out his hand for the boy, a friendly smile playing on his lips.
“I’m Harry, your mum’s friend. Nice to meet you.”
The boy doesn’t hesitate to take his right held out, his small hand almost getting lost in Harry’s big palm as they shake hands like two adults. Harry is stunned by how confident he is, unlike most kids his age.
“I’m Benjamin Lloyd,” the boy introduces himself smiling and Harry can see the resemblance now clearer than anything. His smile is certainly his mother’s and the shape of his eyes along with his chin are the exact same as Annalise’s, leaving only a few traits that must have been inherited from his father.
Benjamin lets go of Harry’s hand and turns back to his mother completely unbothered by the man he just met.
“Mum, are we staying on the playground a little?” he asks as they all move down the aisle, heading to the cash register.
“Uh, yeah, we can stay for a little, but you need to do homework when we get home. Mrs. Conrad sent me all the work you missed today so we have to catch up on everything. You got away with faking sickness this morning, but you are doing the work you missed.”
Benji doesn’t fuss about having to do work, he knew this would happen when he faked to have a tummy ache, he nods understanding the importance of doing his homework and Harry is amazed by how great his behavior is. Most kids his age would have thrown a tantrum over what Annalise just said, but not Benji. He is like a small adult, Harry thinks.
“I honestly don’t see why you still have to push me away completely. Did you not enjoy talking with me?” Harry continues as they stand in line, Annalise putting everything to the belt from the cart while Benji is busy playing around the poles that separate the lines.
“Of course I did!” she sighs.
“So then why can’t we just continue? See where it goes?”
“Because that’s just not how things work for me,” she says with a soft, sad chuckle.
“What, you can’t have friends?” Harry asks innocently as Annalise finishes packing, puts a divider on the belt so Harry can put his items behind hers.
“Oh, so you just want to be friends?” she asks raising her eyebrows, seeing through him easily. Harry opens his mouth, but then closes, a cheeky smile stretching across her face that makes her chuckle.
“For now, yeah?” he tries to sound convincing, but it’s more of a joke.
The cashier starts to scan her items so she pushes the cart over to the end and starts packing everything back, Benji still climbing on the poles, completely oblivious to the conversation happening around him, or he just chooses not to listen.
“You are unbelievable,” she shakes her head at the man in the line. The cashier finishes up with her items and she taps her card on the terminal, pushing the cart away a little.
Harry is scared that she’ll flee the moment she gets the receipt and leaves before she could go after her, but for his biggest surprise, she just pushes the cart a little away from the cash register and starts packing her items into totebags. Benji runs up to her and she gives him his KitKat without a word, the boy happily tearing the packaging open, snacking on the chocolate.
Harry is quick to finish with his items, catching up with Annalise as the three of them head out of the supermarket.
“Look, I’m gonna be honest with you, I haven’t felt like this with anyone in a long time, Lis. I loved talking to you, I feel like we had a connection, and I think you felt it too. I would hate to waste whatever we had so I’m offering you my friendship. I want to hang out, spend time with you, just as two adults enjoying each other’s company. Nothing more, if that’s what you really want for now. And we can see where it heads later. How does that sound?”
They reach her car and Benji runs to the backseat, tearing the door open while Annalise opens the trunk and she is surprised to see Harry help her pack her bags into the car, but she doesn’t protest.
“I really don’t know…” she sighs.
“Come on! Just friends. Give it a try! I have a great feeling about it and I promise to be very careful. I understand that you need boundaries because of Benji and I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable in any way. But you do have to realize that you need to open up at one point. You can’t use him as an excuse forever.”
“I’m not using him as an excuse!” she points out, but she can feel how that’s not the whole truth.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lis,” Harry smirks, pulling his phone out of his coat’s pocket and unlocking it he holds it out for her once she has closed the trunk. “I’m just asking for your phone number, not to travel the world with me. You can decide to block me later if you change your mind, it’s nothing serious, alright?”
Annalise’s hesitation is clearer than the light and in any other case, he would take offence at it, but not with her. Harry is keen on proving to her that he meant everything he said and that he is willing to take a chance with her.
Chewing on the inside of her cheeks, she glances back at Benji, who has climbed into his seat in the back of the car. She is fighting with herself, bringing up all pros and contras until she finally caves in. Grabbing the phone from Harry’s hand she types her number in and gives herself a ring so she can save his number as well. She hands the device back and Harry’s smile is so wide, she almost wants to punch him in the face, but she can also feel the excitement running through her veins.
“Great. You won’t regret it, Lis,” Harry beams shoving his phone back into his pocket. His hand reaches for her arm and gives it a gentle squeeze as he doesn’t want to try anything further with her at the moment.
“I better not,” she mumbles shaking her head before turning around to buckle Benji in. When that’s done she pays one last glance at Harry who stands at the car next to hers, watching her get behind the wheel and back out from her spot. He waves at her happily and she just nods in his way before turning around the car and driving away.
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“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?!” Harry rages through the phone, his anger only met with a soft chuckle from Griff on the other end of the call.
“Mate, I told ya, s’not my place! She didn’t tell ya, so I didn’t either.”
“You saw how hooked I was on her! You could have, no, no… you should have told me!”
Harry was quick to run back to the studio and called Griff right away to load everything out on him. He felt betrayed that his friend didn’t let him know this small little detail even after seeing him all crushed after she left without a trace to find her. He gets his reasoning, he does, but it still doesn’t stop him from being so bloody mad at his mate.
“Sorry! I really am sorry! But I know how protective she is over Benji. I was not gonna betray her like tha’.”
Harry takes a deep breath, paying up and down the hallway in the studio, trying his best to calm his nerves. It’s an unfortunate situation as a whole, he sees that clearly, but the frustration how it had to go down at the end is getting the best out of him for sure. He is not mad at one specific person, because everyone was doing what they thought to be the best, but everything added up to be such a shitty outcome, or at least on Harry’s side.
Pinching the bridge of his nose he huffs again, putting aside his burning emotions.
“Okay, okay. Sorry to snap at you like that, it was just… a lot.”
“I get it, don’ worry about it,” Griff assures him, glasses clinking behind him somewhere, he is probably working at the pub as they are speaking. “She gave ya her number now, right?”
“Yeah, she didn’t want to, but I talked her ears off,” Harry chuckles lowly. He could still feel the excitement that rushed through him when she finally gave in.
“M’happy for ya, mate. But please be bloody careful. She doesn’t need any shit right now, has enough on her plate.”
“I know. I’m just trying to be her friend first, that’s all.”
“Alright. Swing by the pub sometime soon, if ya want.”
“Sure thing. Bye Griff,” Harry smiles before ending the call.
Walking back into the recording room, all eyes snap up to him and he stops in his track.
“What?”
“The hell was that about?” Sarah questions, asking in the name of everyone in the room. They all just heard his rage outside and now are dying to know what it was about.
“I uhh—I found her,” he simply says and watches all his bandmates gawk back at him with wide eyes.
“What? Did you like, hire a private investigator or something?” Charlotte asks, making Harry chuckle as he shakes his head no.
“No, I ran into her at Tesco. Well, her and her… son.”
His last word washes out the whole room, everyone stops breathing for a moment as they stare back at Harry who has that ‘yeah, you heard me right’ look on his face.
“A son?” Mitch asks snapping out of his shock. “Like a proper kid?”
“How do you not have a proper kid?” Harry asks him with a look.
“I don’t know! I’m just… surprised. How old is the kid?”
“Like six or seven. She said something about being a first grader.”
“Didn’t you say she is a year younger than you?” Sarah asks, as everyone is doing the silent math in their head.
“She is, with one year. Or that’s what she told me.”
“That makes her, what, like eighteen when she had the kid? And what about the father?” Charlotte trails, still trying hard to put the picture together.
“She didn’t say much, but from what I understood, he is not really in the picture. So at least she is not married or something,” Harry adds, still open about the relief he is feeling about that information.
“This shit is twisted,” Sarah huffs. “So what’s gonna happen now? Did you ask for her number again?”
“Ask?” Harry chuckles bitterly. “I begged, Sarah. I was ready to be on my knees in the middle of a bloody Tesco.”
A round of laughter runs through the room and the mood finally eases a little after the shock that just set in. It wasn’t the fact that Annalise had a son that sent everyone over the edge, but rather that she didn’t say a single word about it and how it all surfaced.
“And did she give it to you?” Mitch prompts and Harry nods, a shy smile stretching on his lips as the two girls start clapping and cheering.
They all saw his long face after New Year’s Eve, it couldn’t be missed how he was moping around for weeks. He told them all about this girl he met, who completely blew his mind just before breaking his heart. Now that she was found and gave him just a small crumble of information about her to him that makes him able to contact her, the change is visible. That little sparkle in his eyes is back and that’s all his friends wanted to see.
“So what are you gonna do now?” Sarah asks as Harry walks over to one of the armchairs and makes himself comfortable.
“Now… I’ll try not to scare her off. Hopefully she won’t push me away and at least let me be her friend.”
“Friend? Is that what you want to be?”
“Of course not,” he sighs, his head dropping to the back of the armchair. “But this is all I can do for now.”
They all just nod, tasting his words and letting everything that just happened sink in. Harry is doing the same, he has a lot to think about and figure out, but there’s one thing he is one hundred percent sure about: he will not give up on Annalise.
NEXT PART
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onthepyre · 4 years
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cats
the second part of this is basically what i did last night but connor is a lot braver than me. anyway.
Evan does this at least once a week.
He gets home, and for whatever reason, whether it be the smile Connor gave him during lunch that lasted a bit too long or that romantic-looking restaurant he walked by on the way home, he's feeling sappy.  And he walks straight to his room, lays down on the floor, and listens to Cavetown.
The amount of time Evan spends on the floor is directly proportional to how many times he caught Connor looking at him during science class. Sometimes he counts; the record so far is 23 times in one class period. He spent two hours on the floor that day, staring at the ceiling.  
As soon as he's home, he's settled on his carpet with the soft sounds of a guitar playing in his headphones.  It's peaceful, quiet. There are only a few things that Evan thinks about, and number one on his list is how much better it would be if Connor was here.
His heart talks about Connor a lot.  His mind objects, but Evan's heart seems to beat with his name.  Connor Murphy Connor Murphy Connor Murphy.  Evan never gets tired of it.  His heart talks about Connor's hair, his eyes, his smile, his hands-
Don't get him started on Connor's hands.
Evan has watched Connor draw before.  The style of his art matches him well.  It's sharp, fast, messy, perfect. But when he's drawing, Evan watches Connor's hands rather than the piece. 
They're fluid.  They glide.
Connor Murphy does not glide.  He stomps, he runs, he marches, but he does not glide.  But when he's drawing, his hands float. They look the same, as angular as Connor himself, but they're different.  Softer. Evan figures Connor's face is the same, but he's always been too focused to look.
Evan often considers what Connor's hands feel like.  They look strong, but Evan is certain they're lighter than they seem.  He wonders what it would be like to hold Connor's hand. Is he one of those people that would hang on too tight?  Would he barely touch Evan's hand? Would he be grossed out by Evan's sweaty palms?
Evan also, more tentatively, thinks about Connor's hands on his face.  In his hair. Looped around his waist. These thoughts, of course, are more focused on where Connor's mouth would be at the moment, but there is attention to his hands then, too.
And Connor's mouth.  Of course. His lips are always chapped and often bleeding because Connor picks at them when he gets bored and Evan knows this because he stares at Connor during French class and he knows Connor hates French.  Connor bites his lips a lot, too. It isn't meant to be nearly as swoon-worthy as it makes Evan feel, but it nearly breaks him every time Connor chews on his lip. Evan's fairly certain this is something he does when he's bored, too, although it might be a nervous habit.
Connor has a lot of nervous habits, from what Evan's seen.  He spins his pen, taps his foot, braids little strands of his hair — the list goes on.  Evan knows each and every one of them.
—— 
Connor has his own sort of ritual.  After begging Zoe to stop at Tim Hortons so they could get coffee, he sits at the window in the den and watches Law & Order SVU.  He had never seen it until Zoe showed him the John Mulaney bit about Ice-T and now he's addicted. It's a problem.
Unbeknownst to either, Connor's SVU marathons are the equivalent of Evan's Cavetown sessions.  Evan thinks about Connor and Connor thinks about Ice-T. And Evan. Mostly Evan. 
Connor has a thing for the way Evan talks.  He knows that Evan himself hates it and most of the school thinks he's annoying, but Connor thinks it's adorable.
Evan has to say exactly what he wants to say, and if he messes it up, he will start over.  He messes up a lot.  It doesn't help that sometimes his tongue catches on words and he gets stuck on a certain sound and has to go back to the beginning of the sentence.  It takes active listening to understand what he's saying but it makes Connor melt.
That's the thing that makes Connor think so hard.  He's supposed to be the mopey badass, the scary emo, the aloof rebel-without-a-cause.  He has a reputation to uphold, even if it's less punk and more school shooter (okay, less punk and more sad).  He may be openly bisexual, yes, but he shouldn't be falling for a tiny tree-obsessed nerd.  
And the fact that Evan of all people is the one his heart decided on is, well, bad.  Connor's too worried that Evan isn't into him to do anything other than stare and Evan can't take a fucking hint.  Connor may think his cluelessness is cute, but it's also really inconvenient.  Connor thinks a lot of things about Evan are cute but inconvenient.
Evan is really, really good at accidentally blocking people's paths and then moving out of the way at the same time the other person does, thus blocking them again.  Evan hates it and Connor thinks it's funny. If it goes on for long enough, Evan starts blushing, and Connor starts falling apart.
And oh my god, when Evan blushes.  It's not like it's uncommon, Evan is both awkward and incredibly aware of it, but Connor still thinks it's adorable.  It brings out his freckles and colors the tops of his ears pink. If Evan is especially embarrassed, he'll try to hide in his hands, but his fingertips are always tinged with the same rose-colored mortification. 
Connor's thoughts drift as he pulls out his phone and scrolls through instagram, but Evan is still there in the back of his mind.  He's always there, no matter what Connor is doing. He spots Evan in the shadows created by the trees in the backyard; sees Evan's worried smile on his mother's face; catches himself doodling Evan's silhouette in the background of drawings. Evan, Evan, Evan.
Connor's phone buzzes in his hand as he scrolls past a collection of Bee Movie memes.  He opens the message, noting it's from Evan.
hhey
He's still typing, but Connor replies anyway.
whats up
The typing bubble disappears for a moment, then pops back up
what r u duing
Connor takes a moment to grin at the misspelling before he responds.
watching svu
do u eanna come see cats with ne 
uhh?? no but absolutely yes im coming, what time
theres a show jn half an hour 
cool see you then
Connor tucks his phone into his pocket and pulls his hands through his hair.  He's going on a date. With Evan. But it's not a date, his mind says.  Connor ignores it.
He's out the door in no time, stopping only to grab a half-eaten bag of twix and shove it in the pocket of his hoodie.  
——
Evan arrives at the theater before Connor does, and sits down next to a claw machine after buying his ticket.  He thinks about texting Connor, but his energy for starting conversations is nearly gone — he barely stuttered his way through asking for a medium popcorn, so he's decided to recharge for a bit while he waits for Connor.
Connor bursts through the door a few minutes later, then stops to look around.  He breaks into a smile when he spots Evan, who lifts his hand in a tired wave. Evan watches Connor talk to the woman at the ticket booth, then the man at the concession stand.  He approaches Evan with a bag of Sprees in his hand.  
"Hey," he says.
"Hi."
"I know Sprees are the worst, but they're the only food that seems to last past the previews, so."  Evan nods, trying to hide the already partially eaten bag of popcorn sitting next to him. "Well, shall we?" Connor reaches down to pull Evan up from the bench.  Evan smiles as thanks, but Connor doesn't let go of his hand. His mind moves at the speed of light, even though there are only two thoughts in his head: Connor Connor Connor and hand.
Connor holds onto him all the way to the screening room, where he tugs Evan into the back row.  He drops Evan's hand as they sit. Connor drops the Sprees into the cupholder on his left and pulls out the Twix, which he starts inhaling immediately.
When the movie starts, there's only one other person in the room: an old man in the front row, who Connor insists is Andrew Lloyd Webber himself, and it's not an issue if they talk because Webber started this whole fiasco and deserves to hear their "critiques."  
The moment the first cat appears on the screen, Connor is laughing.  "Why does she have boobs?" he whispers.  
"Connor!" 
"If they're going to give her boobs, she should have six, not two."
"Connor, talk quieter!"
"Are we supposed to be attracted to the cats?"
Defeated, Evan drops his face into his hands while Connor cackles next to him.  
They make it to Rum-Tum-Tugger without any other mishaps, but as soon as the new cat starts singing, Connor loses it again.  
"Why is he wearing a fur coat?  That's terrifying!"
"What?" 
"You'd be scared if you saw someone wearing a coat made of skin."  Evan looks over at him with a desperate expression on his face.
"Connor, please," he begs, "let's just… let's appreciate cat Jason Derulo."
Connor nods, still wheezing, and calms down a bit.  Until cat Jason Derulo whips off his fur coat in a display of his cat muscles.
Connor drops his head onto Evan's shoulder.  "I can't do this," he says through a fit of giggles.  
But Evan is more focused on the fact that Connor's head is on his shoulder oh my god.  And Evan hears Connor's foot tap, tap, tapping on the floor.  Nervous habit. And once again, Connor's hand finds his. 
"Gotta ground myself.  Make sure we're not dead, y'know."  So Evan, with as much bravery as he can muster, squeezes Connor's hand.  And Connor squeezes back.
But Connor doesn't move.  He stays there, his head on Evan's shoulder, his hand in Evan's hand.  And Evan can't focus on the movie anymore. He eventually picks his head up to laugh at Mr. Mistoffelees, but Connor hangs onto Evan's hand for the rest of the movie.  He's soft, softer than Evan expected, and evidently doesn't mind his sweaty palms, so Evan doesn't complain.
As the credits roll, Evan gathers the bits of courage he has left and look over at Connor.  "Is, uh, was this, like a date? Or did I, um, completely misinterpret what's- did I misunderstand this? B-because-"
Connor cuts him off.  "Do you want this to be a date?" He's quiet, much quieter than normal.
Evan's voice is even smaller when he answers.  "Um. Yeah." He stares down at his free hand, trying to avoid the one Connor still has a firm grip on.
"Great.  Then it was a date."  Evan can hear the smile in Connor's voice.  He looks up, and Connor is beaming, and Evan can hear his foot tapping the floor again.  And Connor's hand is on his jaw and Evan is leaning forward and their lips are pressed together.
It's different than Evan had imagined.  Slower. Gentler. But he's kissing Connor Murphy and Connor Murphy is kissing him back.
Evan is the first to pull away.  He knows his face is a bright shade of pink, but he doesn't really care.  His phone buzzes in his pocket.
"Oh, uh, my mom's here."  He thinks he sees Connor's face fall for half a second, but he isn't sure. 
"Oh.  Alright.  See you soon."  
Evan leans over and pecks his cheek.  "Thanks."
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73 questions.
I was tagged by @wescoasts @machine-gun-casie (BABES)
Almost all my friends have been tagged and I don't wanna be that asshole so ill try not to be. I tag @awkwardrocker @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @trixiehoe @she-who-is-timey-wimey
On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?
Well it’s finals week so about -864. After that I have two weeks of legitimate nothing where I will bake my heart out so we’ll see
Describe yourself in a hashtag?
#yikes #ughshesinherfeelsagain 
If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?
Milo Ventimiglia, Kells, Rook.....being a music video love interest is only my life’s pipe dream 
If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?
And that’s on daddy issues and no supervision...
What’s one thing people don’t know about you?
I used to model like went to modeling school and got paid for it type shit
What’s your wakeup ritual?
get woken up by my dog tired of hearing my alarm, walk said opinionated quadruped, feed quadruped, get dressed, COFFEE, then take life as it comes
What’s your go to bed ritual?
melatonin gummies (gotta make anxiety fun), skincare when executive dysfunction will allow, brush teeth, fight dog for my spot in bed (moving a 90lb animal is no joke), turn on my sleep playlist or use my ambient noise app, stare at ceiling
What’s your favorite time of day?
witching hour followed by golden hour
Your go to for having a good laugh?
lately tiktok and Kellyvisions, previously vine compilations or Netflix specials
Dream country to visit?
Ireland. I NEED to go to the motherland. My families castle is still standing and I get in for free. its on my bucket list FOR SURE. 
What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?
getting into nursing school and chiropractic school. I’m a loser and I’ve never had a surprise party. I’d melt in puddle of love tbh
Heels or flats/sneakers?
Flats 98% of the time. Heels are reserved for business casual necessity, Halloween, or if I’m feeling myself 
Vintage or new?
both, depends on the item
Who do you want to write your obituary?
Amy-Sherman Palladino 
Style icon?
lmao a what? on the real though catch me fucking with those eco-friendly kitchen witch vibes. All the dainty jewelry, linens and converse/docks fam
What are three things you can’t live without?
my dog, my family (found and blood), healing people however I can (medicine ruined me for any other career and its sucks you guys)
What’s one ingredient you put in everything?
tbh salt, I question a recipes validity if salt isn't involved 
What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?
Kells and the band (I'd be too nervous for a one on one), a dinner party with my MGK fam, Elvis
What’s your biggest fear in life?
Failure, not accomplishing anything 
Window or aisle seat?
window all day everyday, on the wing preferably cause I like to feel the landing gear #pilotsgranddaughter 
What’s your current TV obsession?
Roadies forever, pry that series from my cold dead hands (also Gilmore Girls and Criminal Minds)
Favorite app?
tie between Tumblr and Pinterest (im an aesthetic slut)
Secret talent?
I am bomb at disney princess songs, the girls I babysit for treat me like a jukebox at bedtime, cutest thing ever
Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?
delivered a baby has hands down been the coolest thing I’ve ever done
How would you define yourself in three words?
I fucking hate this question. always have. empathetic, resilient, intuitive 
Favourite piece of clothing you own?
overall: my senior prom dress. its emerald green, backless, with a slit to upper thigh chefs kiss 
everyday wear: Colorado sweatshirt
Must have clothing item everyone should have?
I second Jude: over sized hoodies
Superpower you would want?
nonspecific healing powers so they aren't limited to physical ailments
What’s inspiring you in life right now?
Colson
Best piece of advice you’ve received?
HA. probably that the body remembers more about trauma than the mind and your seemingly irrational physical reactions to things are your brain’s attempt to protect you
Best advice you’d give your teenage self?
his mistake does not define your worth. I went for a variant of these boys aint shit don't judge me cause she needs to hear it
A book that everyone should read?
Harry Potter series (yes the whole thing), Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, The Giver by Lois Lowry 
What would you like to be remembered for?
empathy, the way I made people feel
How do you define beauty?
FOR THE LAST TIME ITS SUBJECTIVE, things that give you peace, it could be a song, a person, a sunset, a scone, a leaf. If it makes you stop a second and exhale then its beautiful to you
What do you love most about your body?
holy trigger question Batman...my eyes, my hair color, texture, and its ability to grow
Best way to take a rest/decompress?
drive with the windows down and blast music while singing at the top of my lungs
Favorite place to view art?
unexpected places, like street corners, carnivals, just somewhere it takes you off guard and makes you stop and pay attention
If your life were a song, what would the title be?
it’d be one of those crazy long 2000s fall out boy titles for sure, subject matter yet to be determined 
If you could master one instrument, what would it be?
violin hands down, it hits me different
If you had a tattoo, where would it be?
I have a bunch planned, plane on my right shoulder, Kells related between 3rd and 4th ribs (maybe lower in case I ever need a chest tube), watercolor portrait of my dog at some point location TBD
Dolphins or koalas?
dolphins are stoners and they're super smart, but koalas cause they’re grumpy af and honestly same
What’s your spirit animal?
again Jude and I are vibin: I've been identifying with a phoenix as of late. according to pottermore im a greyhound though (yes a patrons is a wizarding spirit animal. fight me)
Best gift you’ve ever received?
seven year old me was stoked to get a functional microscope and metal detector, I was in my egyptology/archeology phase, I still have them lmao
Best gift you’ve ever given?
oh hell idk...I made my cousin cry once cause I made cupcakes for her birthday party, they were cherry limeade flavored and had little straws and everything. that was pretty cool, granted she was seven. I also made my teacher cry cause I made sea salt caramel chocolate cupcakes for her going away party. I guess my baking brings people to tears
What’s your favourite board game?
candy land, battleship, cards against humanity even though there isn't a board
What’s your favourite colour?
forest green atm
Least favourite colour?
bright yellow/orange, its offensive to my general The Dirt Mick Mars disposition
Diamonds or pearls?
pearls (actually opals though)
Drugstore makeup or designer?
not picky provided they are evironmentally friendly. I really like Besame Cosmetics though
Blow-dry or air-dry?
air-dry, I don't have the patience for blow drying
Pilates or yoga?
yoga
Coffee or tea?
COFFEE, im still learning to like tea
What’s the weirdest word in the English language?
holy shit how much time do we have, my favorite weird word to say is fistula or omphalocele (they're medical conditions, don't goole it unless you have a strong stomach) 
Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
dark chocolate
Stairs or elevator?
stairs 
Summer or winter?
neither FALL BITCHES   winter if I had to pick cause I love Christmas 
You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?
burgers
A desert you don’t like?
red velvet cake....just why is it a thing that exists 
A skill you’re working on mastering?
baking scones or shit that’s flaky in general 
Best thing to happen to you today?
being tagged to do this twice, I felt special for a hot second (thanks babes)
Best compliment you’ve ever received?
that I would make a good doctor (I handled a scary pt situation like a champ, they didn't know I threw up after I made sure my pt didn't die. puking in a foreign country on the download is a skill in and of itself)
Favorite smell?
bergamot, baking bread, baking spice cakes at Christmas
Hugs or kisses?
HUGS CAN SAVE THE WORLD
If you made a documentary, what would it be about?
gifted kid fall off
Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?
In These Walls - Machine Gun Kelly
Casual Sabotage - Yungblud
genius assholes...
Lipstick or lip gloss?
lipstick for special occasions but actually tinted chapstick or lip stains 
Sweet or savoury?
savory to eat sweet to make for someone else
Girl crush?
Brittney Furlan Lee, Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham 
How you know you’re in love?
you look at them and just say yep. them. usually while they're doing something stupid 
Song you can listen to on repeat?
imma out myself but Swing Life Away - Machine Gun Kelly
If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?
the grass is not greener ya’ll. id rather go back and relive days 
What are you most excited about at this time in your life?
hopefully passing my first trimester of chiropractic school. fingers crossed pls
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houseofvans · 5 years
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SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | INTERVIEW W/ CRYSTAL HABITATS
Combining stain glass, metal smithing and mineralogy, founder of Crystal Habitats, Rachel Pitler transformed her drawing and painting skills into a magical world of 3D stained glass and molten metal sculptures – from jewel adorned cardholders, wands, daggers (athames), to ring holders, just to mention a few. Not only one thing, Rachel is also a co-founder of Bitchcraft, an unique holiday event featuring over 60 vendors, selling everything dark & magical. We’re excited to talk to Rachel and find out more about how she started her creations, what inspires them, and what she has planned for 2019! 
Take the leap below!
Photographs courtesy of the artist. 
Introduce yourself. My name is Rachel Pitler Hsiung. I am a mixed-media artist (stained glass, molten metal, oil painting, and clay). Originally I am from Detroit; however, I have been living in Los Angeles now for many years. My professional background is in the rock & mineral industry. Working in this field allows me to travel to all the big gem shows where I am able to work with interesting specimens on a daily basis... as well as being surrounded by these beauties is a huge creative plus for me and where I draw much of my inspiration.
Tell us a little about your background in art? I never had any formal training in drawing & painting. My mom is a fantasy illustrator, so growing up I often sat with my mom and watched her paint/draw, and I took to it myself pretty quickly. I got a job in my 20s teaching art to kids & teens on the basics of drawing, watercolor & oil painting. I taught art for 8 years. It was a really important time in my life for me to grow as an artist. Through teaching others I discovered a lot about myself, I learned to enjoy my process of making art, to never stop learning, and to push myself out of my comfort zone into new mediums.
How did you go from working with traditional material like oil paints and pastels to a medium like stain glass and solder?  When did you start creating pieces out of glass, metal, and so forth? A little over 5 years ago one of my best friends Erin Coovert (Moontan Stain Glass) started taking a glass class. She encouraged me to try out her class, I did and have been forever changed by this incredible medium. I am so grateful to her for sharing this path with me as it opened up so much more for me in terms of my creative abilities. It's really hard when you have a lot of creative ideas, but little tools to make them into reality. I was such a two dimensional art person trying to be a 3D artist and for whatever reason stained glass opened that part of my brain up to problem solve and tackle art projects that I would have otherwise given up on.
Tell us a little about Crystal Habitats and the unique pieces that you create for it? In mineralogy, the word crystal habit is a characteristic of crystal groups & individual crystals. I wanted to make artwork that reflected my own take on crystals and create pieces that are like little worlds within themselves, little habitats that harness magick and cast their energy onto whoever uses them. Art for me has always been a refuge and a place of healing. 
I love making tools that do just that. I make wands & daggers (athames) that are adorned with crystals & molten metal. I make three sided pyramids (often with crystals adhered to them), jewelry, ring holders, and a lot of other items. In my drawings & paintings, I have a fantasy world I came up with called The Ice Crags. Many of my paintings & drawings take place in this realm. My characters are often High Priestess (and wizards). Recently I have started to making these characters in stained glass.
Of the many things you create–from wands to daggers–which is your favorite to make and why? What is the process like for one of these, from start to finish? Right now I am really enjoying the process of making my snake athames (a type of dagger). Snakes represent healing & transformation, when paired with a stone setting and blade, these pieces really become a source of internal empowerment.
My friend John (@jabforge) makes my blades, I make the hilt with molten metal...I cut out a copper/metal sheet with my metal cutter to create a handle. I hand solder the entire base...there are different ways to solder...I have adapted a painting style of soldering, you can create patterns within the metal to give it a unique look. When I add the crystals I make bezels out of metal, and solder it to the hilt, and I hand make the the snakes out of epoxy clay. I give my pieces a dark patina and I often use my dremel to smooth out parts and I sand it down to give it an interesting aged look. I enjoy making these in particular as it is a collaboration which I always love and each piece has such a unique character to them. When working with molten metal, I never know what pattern I am going to make till I start soldering, it's always fun to see how they turn out.  
In your studio, what type of art materials and tools would we find on your desk? Too many tools and never enough tools! Lead free solder, soldering iron, flux, glass cutting materials, dremel, jewelry wax, metal cutter, thin wires, metal sheets, copper sheets, all sorts of dental tools (I use them for carving) epoxy clay, lots of glues, torch, hammers, paint, glass, wood, my lapidary wheel, patina, cabochons and crystals parts, there's a lot of stuff! Im super obsessed with working with new materials. Since I work in a handful of mediums, it becomes a real science project in my studio mashing them together to see what works and what doesn’t.
What are some of the cool collaborations you’ve done? How do collaborators incorporate your works into what they’re doing?  A recent collaboration I did was with my good friend Alex from Acid Queen Jewelry. She makes incredible jewelry and we often talk shop on a weekly basis. She made a gorgeous ring and I made a matching glass ring holder (glass base with a quartz point as the holder for the ring). She and I will have more collabs in 2019! Very excited to work with her again! And as mentioned earlier John from Jab Forge. He is a blacksmith, his blade work is my favorite...his blades look like moon craters, they have a real old world look to them and I enjoy matching my style of metal work with his work.  
What medium haven’t you tried that you’d definitely like to get your hands on? Metalsmithing. Well this is a medium I have dabbled in but really haven’t gone deep and it’s my goal for 2019 to get into it more. Specifically so that I can incorporate a different type of metal work into my stained glass & my solder work. Medium cross over is my favorite thing to mess around with, good for the brain ;)
Not only are you behind Crystal Habitats and its creations, but you had an active role in creating an event/community called Bitchcraft. Can you tell us more about Bitchcraft, how it started and the idea behind it? When was the last one and when’s the next one? Yes! 10 years ago I co-founded it with 4 of my friends. We all made things and wanted an all female handmade collective where we could barter/sell goods.  I believe we had like 10 vendors at the first one in our friend’s backyard...now there are over 60 vendors, it's a pretty large holiday event. It's a collective that celebrates everything dark & magickal, a curated group of like-minded makers filled with everything from metal goods, apothecary, altar items, capes, wands, jewelry, and really a lot of items related to other worldly and the occult. We just had our annual holiday show in December! There's always a chance for a mid year show but for now not till Dec 2019 :)
Who are some of your favorite vendors or artists from that Bitchcraft community? What’s your favorite thing about that community? Oh that is really hard for me to say!! Most of these people have been my friends for a long time and have been a creative support system and I cherish all of them and appreciate & admire all of their works. My favorite thing about the Bcraft community is the friendships! There is so much love and support with this crew...outside of this event a lot of the vendors work with each other on projects, do shows together, help promote and support one another. Having a strong group of makers is super important to me and has helped me grow so much as an artist, and I am so thankful for all of them!
Who are some other artists you’re inspired by? What kind of things inspire you? I have the longest list of artist who have inspired me!! But I have to say my very top inspirational artist would be my mom, Sheri-Pitler McClure. Her work is everything to me...she has a way of drawing people that is so out of this time, totally belongs in Middle Earth. Growing up my mom surrounded our household with fantasy - wizard & unicorn statues spread throughout our my childhood home...she is a big fan of science fiction, so as a kid I was exposed to all movies and books on the subject. She is also a rock collector (she did opal lapidary work back in the day) so I guess all of these things had a big impact on me. When I was really young she painted a series of these goddesses that represented the different seasonal full moons. These women were painted as strong ethereal beings, who’s magick reached out from the canvas and wided my eyes to endless worlds one could create. That was my first memory of how art can really change your perspective and it has stuck with me ever since.  
Other things that inspire me spans from crystal formations, old medieval paintings, everything Tolkien, old lore & fantasy books/movies. I am also really into the color pallet of the Dark Crystal, I often watch and think about that movie when I am making.
What’s been the most challenging part of maintaining Crystal Habitats? What’s been the most rewarding? What do you do to keep the balance? I would say compartmenting my time has been a big challenge….often people tell me to do my art full time but working in the mineral business is my dream job and it is also is a place where I come up with my concepts...its like one can’t exist without the other, so figuring out the balance of them has been something that I am always working on. The most rewarding part is when I have a really fresh new idea and I am able to execute it….there are some designs that I will do over and over, but when a new design pops into my head it becomes extremely exciting to work on.
Recently I have been bringing balance into my work space by not taking on too many custom orders or too many shows...allowing myself to have breaks...through these breaks I have been able to come back fresh and renewed, which is very important to my process.
What’s your advice to folks who see what you do and want to pursue it as a career? Don’t compare yourself to others. Keep learning, discover new mediums, always be a student of something it really opens your mind to concepts that otherwise could be dormant.
What’s your best advice for creative folks on social media platforms, like Instagram? Have fun! I know that sounds lame, be seriously don’t get caught up in it too much. The more stress you surround yourself with social media & the more it takes away from your art. I love using social media, I love using it to showcase my art and be connected to other artists/communities, but don’t allow it to become overwhelming. I think being true to your art is the most important part:)
What are your FAVORITE Vans?  Slip-Ons!
Finally can you share with us what exciting things you may have lined up for 2019? I’ll be working on a new line of handmade jewelry boxes. A lot more snake themed items for sure!! I have been working on some Shield Maiden jewelry through metalsmithing/lost wax mediums, it is something I have been really taking my time with and I am hoping to have some completed soon. I will also being vending at the Culver City Gem & Mineral Show in June 2019.
FOLLOW RACHEL | INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE 
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resbang-bookclub · 6 years
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AMA Transcript: Simple Melody
For our final AMA of Resbang 2017, @alliope, @bbbutterfingers & @daciafu stopped in to answer questions about their Resbang, Simple Melody! Here’s some of what went down:
Q: My first question for Allie is what inspired you to do this AU?
Allie: Well I've generally had the idea for an Over the Garden Wall AU for a while, not necessarily for SE, but as the first check-ins deadline was approaching I ended up rewatching bits of Over the Garden Wall and it just kinda clicked? Mainly I think it came from Crona's betrayal and Beatrice's betrayal and everything fell into place from there. I thought the eerie atmospheres would work well together! So I ended up scrapping my previous idea and wrote 3k plus a summary like three days before the first check-ins, rip.
Q: For butter/dacia, what went into how you decided which scene(s) to art?
butterfingers: HM well there was some chitchat when we started about what kind of work we wanted to do and I said that I loved the Boom comics covers, and then I shouted WHAT IF I MADE  COMIC BOOK COVERS! and I think Dacia went WHAT IF I DID BACKGROUNDS and I guess we just approached it as if we were doing something comic-y haha!
Allie: You two were the power duo.
daciafu: I've always been in love with the style of the backgrounds of OTGW since that's where all those cozy and spooky feelings of fall and the Unknown really shine and I'm honestly HORRIBLE at designing backgrounds so I wanted to take the challenge and push myself to get better! Mimicking other people's styles really helps me break down how they make their choices and teaches me how to make things look Decent so I was super hyped to pick up the OTGW style! And then when Butters and I were trying to figure out What Do and she said she wanted to tackle covers, I decided to do background-heavy scenes. 😊
Q: What is generally your guys’ process (writing for Allie and arting for butters and dacia)?
Allie: Well, I wrote in little scenes, like I would get an idea for a scene and just go for it, the fic wasn't at all coherent until maybe a few days before posting. This actually posed a problem since linking scenes took longer than I thought it would. Because I had most of my scenes written, I thought I had more finished than I really did. By the end of Resbang, I had 56k written but only 20k remotely post-able. I'm a super obsessive planner though, so my whole fic was outlined in detail early on, which was nice cause I knew what I was doing lol
butterfingers: I loved going through Allie's notes, I was always excited to see how they'd connect the dots! My art process is as follows: scribble something, put it aside, look at it a lot throughout the day with the thought that maybe I can surprise myself into seeing something new, find something I hate, fix it, rinse and repeat. For this project I actually... have a friend who works with Boom Comics and she was able to hook me up with a nice little gallery of illustrations for the OTGW comic so I got to go through and put together my mood board for it 😊
daciafu: I read over the gloriousness that was Allie's draft and immediately picked out some neat scenes or wanted to reimagine the classic OTWG ones. I spent a lot of time studying first! Looking at the art books, and poring over the show’s scenes and kind of getting a feel for the color palettes, textures and compositions. Then I watched a tutorial on Youtube where someone just deadass uploaded their painting process on a piece of official art that made it into the show. So that was EXTREMELY helpful to watch the way they painted back-to-front and kind of blended the planes without like, losing depth?? The internet is so, so wonderful. And then I got to work! Started with a soft brush for lineart so it wouldn't be too prevalent, moved onto base colors, then shading, and then really trying to establish textures and make the atmosphere Just Right(tm).
butterfingers: Genius!! Oh damn that sounds like such great advice vis à vis backgrounds. /takes notes
Q: You sound like the dream art partner Allie, I weep for my artists and my last minute HERE IS 10K I JUST TYPED UP BC IM A MESS.
Allie: Ahh geez, these two were the dream partners honestly, like I'm so glad they could gather stuff from my notes, cause I've always got everything together in my head, but then it gets out there and it's a mess, these two deserve all the love.
butterfingers: There was one thing I regret that I didn't have the chance to draw and it was like a throwaway line somewhere in your notes about Maka presenting Soul with a praying mantis and him freaking out. I resonated with that so hard hahaha.
Q: What was the hardest scene for you to write?
Allie: The hardest scene to write that's actually posted was anything with Justin really, I don't get his character and it was tough to write him. There were a few scenes that were hard to write because I rushed them, but I wouldn't say they were genuinely difficult scenes, I just gotta rewrite 'em! But overall the ending scene I'm still struggling to write and there's a dream scene that occurs which has been difficult to write just for making it dream-like enough?
Q: And what was the hardest to art? :o
butterfingers: I had a hard time with Maka's expressions. I had many scribbles designing a Ragnarok lantern, too, but it was very fun!!
Allie: Your design for the Ragnarok lantern was so good, I still cry over it.
butterfingers: Ahaha thank you! He was very Calcifer inspired ;)
daciafu: I struggled quite a bit with the first one I painted, just because it was all so new to me. I had to base color 3 different times because the soft lineart bothered me if something extended too far, or there was white background peeking through. And then reimagining the texture in the leaves and the ground to try to separate the planes there but also wanting them to be cohesive was a bit of a headache. If I had to go back and do that one over again I think I'd be more prepared to deal with the foliage lmao.
butterfingers: Your textures were very excellent, that was a quality I struggled with as well!
daciafu: The first one I painted was the Golden Light scene where Maka and Soul are leaving the woods and entering the fields.
butterfingers: Trees r hard.
Allie: They all came out so incredible though, I'm in awe of how you were able to create those leaves.
daciafu: Omg ;;;;; At the same time trees are so organic and flowy and the chances of getting them wrong are pretty slim considering they can get janked as hell lol they're super fun to just zone out to. "I’ll just put a happy little leaf here, ooh and how’s about another one right next to it. They can be happy friends. Oh look, the squad showed up!!" Channeling my inner Bob Ross... but yeah you can just do whatever with them and they somehow come together.
Q: Daciafu how do u.....background, like you did so well and all I hear from art friends is various levels of pterodactyl screeching when the word background is mentioned.
daciafu: I heavily based the Leafing the Forest scene and the church scene after stills from the show so I don't get composition points there, but I built the pumpkin fields just based off of the environment’s design elements. I really wanted to push the depth of that scene but also give it that same never-ending quality to it, and I'm super happy with the results. Another note is that I omitted the characters entirely while building the backgrounds. Since I'm usually a pretty character-heavy artist, I wanted to tackle it like I was preparing the scene for an animator later. And then once they were done, I added in our sweet kids. Doing it that way first really helped to cement the characters in the space rather than my usual "character is done, how can I put them in an interesting physical space?" struggle lmao.
Q: Did you guys feel like your writing/arting changed at all or that you learned anything/picked up new skills/honed old ones etc. etc. during Resbang?
Allie: Gosh yeah, it changed a lot. In hindsight a bad idea, but this was the first fic I'd ever written with intention of posting and the longest piece I'd ever written. Before this I had written very little and my longest piece was maybe 10k. Throughout Resbang I've learned most of everything from the ground up, it's taught me a lot about my limits, how I work and writing in general. I've definitely improved a lot from the experience!
butterfingers: Let me tell you all about the airbrush tool that I discovered during Resbang. Amazing. Incredible.
daciafu: I learned how to paint backgrounds!!! Which is something I've always wanted to get better at. And I got super comfortable in Clip Studio (I'd just gotten it) as well as using texture brushes, so overall it was a very helpful and wonderful experience as a Resbang participant and as an arteest.
Q: Oh that reminds me butters, what program do you use?
butterfingers: Paint Tool SAI for the most part, and then Photoshop for color correction, borders, and, like, finesse things! :)
Q: Did you guys listen to any music that inspired you or helped you create?
Allie: Ah, yeah! I had a playlist actually! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjTCaFkFU6rkD1edJwCZmHvJiUwlSUeGZ
If you want I can explain some bits of it? I use music a lot when writing aha. I like to associate certain songs with characters and character relationships, so most of the songs are connected to a particular part of the story. The Monroe Transfer, Wayfaring Stranger, and Mountains were all more general atmosphere stuff. Blame was very much related to Maka, which may not be apparent now, but yeah. Ragnarok I actually connected a lot with Willow Tree March. Soul was probably closest with A Lady. Crona had a lot of songs, but Neptune was most specific to them, as was probably Ghost Towns. Some character relationships I associated with certain songs, Crona-Ragnarok and Soul-Maka were both pretty connected to Always Gold, especially that dang last line "there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend" oh man. Crona-Maka was definitely We Could Be Friends, Bloom, and Spell. Meet Me in The Woods I thought was a pretty good group song! Those are just some general bits of my thinking with the music aha.
daciafu: Definitely checked out Allie's dope playlist. For most of my working time, tho, I was either listening to TAZ: Commitment or MBMBaM oddly enough lol. I will forever think of Justin's uproarious laughter whenever I look at them lmao.
Q: Were any of the relationships difficult to characterize?
Allie: Mmm this may sound weird but early Maka-Crona was weird for me, cause they were kinda at that point where they want to (or at least Maka wants to) like each other, but they don’t like or trust each other at all and it's a weird spot for them. I'm used to writing them as at least interested by one another, if not enemies or already fond of one another, so this felt like a very odd place to start with them.
Q: Do you guys have future plans for writing/drawing? Aside from polishing and posting the rest of the fic!
Allie: I have,,, too many plans,, I need less plans,, someone please take them away from me, I can't be trusted with them,,,, I do want to do a sequel for this when I get it finished, playing on the detail about crows memory lasting five years so. Beyond that I have a SoMa fic to finish for the prompt challenge!! I'm working on a gift for Crescentcrona, which is a fantasy Kirona fic called Eat The Rich. I have polyam week fics that I'm cleaning up, I think my favorite so far is a Azusa/Naigus/Sid/Mifune one for Through The Seasons. And God I have so many CroMa fics I want to write, I gotta fill the AO3 tag. I think the biggest one right now is a wings-related soulmates au that I've been working on on the side since October I think?
daciafu: Yo there's one scene that I'm like sUPER hyped to do if Allie does the sequel because I already know exactly how I wanna draw it but I wasn't able to fit that in near the end, and it didn't end up in the first part. But there are a couple of other scenes Allie and I workshopped that would be super fun to do and I would love to draw them. Other than that, my drawing plans are pretty much working on commissions as they come in. Surprisingly my queue has been maxed out and I just got a full time job so of course now I'm like.... hm.... I'll get 'em done eventually!!
----
That’s the end of the AMAs for the 2017 season! Thanks again for reading along with us, and see you next year! :)
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sovaz · 6 years
Text
5 OTPs and 10 facts
Tagged by @strane-stelle, thank you so much!! (And aahhhhhh the JAT replied to you that’s so cool! I would freak out too *_* I should try writing to him sometime too instead of just being supportive on tumblr where he’ll never see it ehheh ;;) and if you think you overdid this post just look at all the crap I wrote otl
Also I tag @chronicwhimsy, @kangofu-cb, @helmistress, @skystones, @kujicoo and other followers if you want to do this, because it’s pretty fun
OTPs (actually not in any particular order. and there are many more that won’t fit here)
1. Balthier x Vaan (FFXII) - THE handsomest sexiest OTP ever I mean come on. look at them
2. Tidus x Yuna (FFX) - I just love them ;_; so much ;__; they are so beautiful together and they deserve so much better than they canonically got from the creators it’s just a tragedy and don’t get me started
3. Duo x Wufei (Gundam Wing) - they are Adorable in the anime and all that but I actually ship the fandom version of them much more (aka when they’re in their 20s or above). It makes sense for all my GW ppl out there I’m sure. Also speaking about Gundam I wanted to put Charmuro on this list but I haven’t read anything with them forever and there’s basically no content with them to begin with so they didn’t make the cut I guess aw but I actually do still do Charmuro fanart occasionally and they’ll always be an OTP
4. young Grindelwald x Dumbledore (HP) - I was actually exclusively a HP blog for a long time before I switched to anime and games and that shit and mainly focused on Grindeldore. and let me tell you I am SCARED. about the upcoming Fantastic Beasts movie, I am scared about how they’ll handle Grindeldore, I’m scared to see if they’ll even admit they’re canonically a couple, and I’m scared of how the actors will portray them , as for most Grindeldore shippers Jamie Campbell Bower and Toby Regbo will always be my Grindeldore and they’re the ones I would always base my fanart on so I have very strong feelings about the casting and everything and I’m nervous and excited at the same time to see the movie but mosty nervous ._ . even though I don’t actively ship them nowadays I still count the fic Thirty-five Owls as my favourite fic of all time, it’s that One Fic I can never forget
5. Ignis x Noctis (FFXV) - This is actually sort of half a lie bc I don’t have an OTP from FFXV I just wildly ship AALLL of them with each other in every direction because all of the chocobros are so loveable and so damn Shippable, I started out reading mostly Promptis and Promnis but it escalated pretty quickly and now I just can’t chose anymore, my respect to anyone who can actually choose only one pairing from FFXV and stick with it. I chose Ignoct for this since I’m sure that’s what I’m going to be obsessing over for the next upcoming months and i’m gonna inhale every fic I see with them just like everyone else 
5. Zidane x Blank (FFIX) - Can’t forget the original sky pirate boyfriends! shhhhhh what do u mean there’s already a 5
Facts
oh boy. here we go. im so bad at this
1. I’ve been in so many tumblr fandoms over the years and can you believe the first one was actually Sherlock. HAH
2. I learned to draw by copying Nomura’s FFX drawings when I was like 11 or 12, I used to just….look at his character designs and copy them over. and over. and over for a long time , and the funny thing is that I’ve experimented with so many styles for drawing faces over the years, and I’ve tried so hard to do more heavily stylized anime styles, but no matter what I do I always end up with that era of Nomura-style faces somehow. So I guess I’ve brainwashed myself with a certain drawing style at a young age and now I can’t escape it oh well. The thing is that I’m much more of an Amano fan now and I’m beating myself up for not learning to draw by looking at his art instead
3. Whenever I buy a piece of clothing that I like there’s a 95% chance that I’m going to return to that exact same store in a few days and buy the exact same piece of clothing but in a different color, I ALWAYS do that and it annoys the heck out of me but I can’t stop. it’s such a bad habit
4. I listen to pretty much only 80′s pop. those silly 80′s female singers with the hair and the everything. The more stereotypically 80′s the better. That or metal
5. I’m very bad at watching anime. And I also can never stick to any anime fandom because once I watch a show I get tired of it very quickly. Videogames work slightly better to fangirl over because there are always new thing to explore and you don’t really get tired of them in the same way
6. I collect moomin stuff i luv moomin. I’m weak, if it has a picture of moomin on it I will buy it
7. I’m fluent in 3 languages and am learning a fourth, I know that’s not very impressive but I’m running out of facts
8. I don’t like deep-fried food
9. now I’m totally out of facts
10. I accidentally locked our mailbox the other day, I usually keep it unlocked because no one steals here anyway and now I can’t open it because I don’t know how it works and also I don’t remember the code to unlock it so now it’s starting to overflow with letters and stuff and everything is horrible and it’s going to explode from all the letters being crammed into it any day now and we’re all gonna drown in a flood of letters and ads for hair salons
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transssexualheart · 7 years
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All
oh boy
1. namerain
2. age14
3. three fearsnever being loved back, hurting the people i care about, and the people i love secretly hating me
4. three things i lovepokemonnice weatherthe piano
5. 4 turn onsgetting hit by a car is apparently one of themi actually dont know honestly if i’m attracted to you, because i so rarely find people attractive, everything u do will Get Me Goin and that’s all i can think
6. 4 turn offsdamn bitch idk
7. my best friendyall know who i would choose if i had to choose one do i really gotta say it again
8. sexual orientationim pan, i also think i’m demisexual but god who knows
9. my best first datei don’t even know what qualified as a date bc ive only gone on dates with one person and i don’t know what we actually considered a date or just hangin out??
10. how tall am iuhhh i cant remember exactly i think i’m 5′5
11. what do i miss?honestly?? i kinda miss the way things used to be before i confessed to liking the person i currently like. i mean nothing has actually changed between us but i still feel bad about liking her and hate that i can’t comfort her without it seeming like “oh, you just think i’m great and talented because you have a crush on me” i feel like me comforting her ends up less sincere now and i hate that and it’s also,, like god i didn’t want to feel this way i really intended on taking a break from romance but my dumbass heart was like “no” and ughh fuck
12. what time was i bornidk
13. fav colorblue
14. do i have a crushfeel like i just made that pretty clear
15. fav quote “And you know it’s not good–that there is no good–that there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it.But you do it anyway. And then…Well. Then you burn.”(from Carry On by Rainbow Rowell)
16. fav placethis is gross but anywhere with her
17. fav foodidk
18. do i use sarcasmof course 
19. what am i listening to rni’m being Exposed,, i’m listening to sarah smiles by p!atd
20. first thing i notice in a new personusually their clothes, like the way they dress
21. shoe size8 and a half or 9 in womens
22. eye colorbrown
23. hair colordark brown
24. fav style of clothinguhh idk
25. ever done a prank call?no
27. meaning behind my urlit’s just a pokemon lol
28. fav moviewho knows
29. fav songi really like robbers by the 1975 and rn i’m obsessed with do i wanna know by arctic monkeys 
30. fav bandgosh idk
31. how i feel right nowgay
32. someone i loveall my friends!! all of u!!
33. my current relationship statussad
34. my relationship with my parents:/
35. fav holidayeither halloween or xmas
36. tattoos and piercings i haveone piercing in each ear lobe and one tat on my ankle
37. tattoos and piercings i wanti kinda want a lip piercing but idk and i wanna be like,, covered in tats 
38. the reason i joined tumblrmemes
39. do i and my last ex hate each other?no, i dont hate any of my exes
40. do i ever get good morning or good night texts?sometimes goodnight texts
41. have i ever kissed the last person you texted?god i wish,, no tho
42. when did i last hold hands?gosh it’s been so long i don’t remember
43. how long does it take me to get ready in the morning?like an hour maybe more
44. have you shaved your legs in the last three days?idk i forgot
45. where am i right now?my bedroom
47. do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level?loud
48. do i live with my mom and dad?ya
49. am i excited for anything?excited to die
50. do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?nah
51. how often do i wear a fake smile?i usually don’t, i just let myself look sad and my friends usually don’t say anything or they’re making me laugh and i’m distracted
52. when was the last time i hugged someone?i huged @strawberrymilk-kid when getting off the bus today
53. what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone right in front of me?i’d be like “dude!! did you get a girlfriend holy shit i’m happy for u!!”
54. is there someone i trust even though i shouldn’t?nah
55. what is something i disliked about today?um all the parts where i started being a jealous bitch 
56. if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be?dan avidan
57. what do i think about the most?wtf do you think bitch
58. what’s my strangest talent?haha talent whats that
59. do i have any strange phobias?no not really
60. do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?depends
61. what was the last lie i told?this is emo but probably that i was alright hah
62. do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting?gosh idk,, calling is less stressful bc i don’t have to worry about my disgusting face i guess
63. do i believe in ghosts? how about aliens?there are probably aliens, but idk about ghosts i mean like who knows
64. do i believe in magic?could be real, might not be, who knows
65. do i believe in luck?yeah i guess
66. what’s the weather like right now?it’s alright
67. what was the last book i read?hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
68. do i like the smell of gasoline?no
69. do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow but not really other than that but i love nicknames so someone call me by a nickname
70. what was the worse injury i’ve ever had?i sprained my arm once
71. do i spend money or save it?spend
72. can i touch my nose with my tongue?no
73. is there anything pink ten feet from me?im wearing pink so
74. fav animal?idk
75. what was i doing last night at 12am?sleeping after a long day of mental breakdown 
76. what do i think satan’s last name is?burke
77. what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it?uhh idk
78. how can you win my heart?be funny, love music (especially if you play it/can sing), and if you have curly hair or freckles i’m probably already in love with you so
79. what would i want written on my tombstone?“i’m gay”
80. what is my fav word?i have a few, my top three are “gentle”, “lover”, and “soft”
81. my top five blogs on tumblrman i dont know
82. if the whole world were listening to me right now, what would i say?that’s too much responsibility 
83. do i have any relatives in jail?my dad went to jail a few times, two of my uncles have been in there too, but none of them are still in there
85. what would be a question i’d be afraid to tell the truth on?i sat here trying to think of one for live five mins and i cant86. what is my current desktop pic?danny sexbang 
87. had sex?no
88. bought condoms?no
89. gotten pregnant?no
90. failed a class?not for a quarter grade or anything but there have been times where i was failing
91. kissed a boy?yeah i think so
92. kissed a girl?no sadly
93. have i ever kissed somebody in the rain?no
94. had a job?no
95. left the house without my wallet?probably
96. bullied someone on the internet?no
97. had sex in public?no
98. played on a sports team?i was on the soccer team in seventh grade
99. smoked weed?nah
100. did drugs?no
101. smoke cigarettes?no
102. drank alcohol?no 
103. am i a vegetarian/vegan?no
104. been overweight?nah
105. been underweight?idk
106. been to a wedding?ive been to two
107. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?probably
108. watched tv for five hours straight?probably
109. been outside my home country?no
110. gotten my heart broken?yep
111. been to a professional sports game?no
112. broken a bone?no
113. cut myself?no, but i’ve wanted to
114. been to prom?no
115. been in an airplane?yeah
116. fly by helicopter?no
117. what concerts have i been to?i went to one twenty one pilots concert that’s it
118. had a crush on someone of the same sex?oh yeah
119. learned another language?no
120. wore makeup?i wear it everyday
121. lost my virginity before i was 18?i’ve never had sex so no
122. had oral sex?no
123. dyed my hair?yeah
124. voted in a presidential election?nope
125. rode in an ambulance? no
126. had surgery?i had a tooth extracted but that’s it
127. met someone famous?no
128. stalked someone on a social media account?dude every time my friends are online i look through their whole blog just bc i like seein what my friends are rebloggin
 129. peed outside?a long time ago but yeah
130. been fishing?yeah
131. helped with charity?i don’t have money to donate to charities 
132. been rejected by a crush?hoooo boy i sure have been
133. broken a mirror?no 
134. what do i want for my birthday?a nude binder
thank u for asking!
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