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jtl-fics · 1 year

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Fluent Freshman - Part 11

FF could admit that he may not be working with a full tank at the moment.

He had not slept very well the night before.

He had watched a lot of horror movies (a genre that he generally does not consume because his mind is already a scary enough place).

He was not able to go see his Grandma and he was going to miss the traditional(tm) Black Friday extravaganza that he and his Grandma did every Black Friday since he was little and encountered the horrible truth about Santa and she’d let him in on when / where most of his Christmas gifts were obtained. (The answer was not the North Pole under the watchful eye of elves. He had cried himself to sleep at the revelation but Gran always had a way of making the worst moments of his life tolerable.)

He may have eaten just…a bit too much pie?

He definitely ate too much turkey.

His stomach is killing him because he had forgotten to take his pepto when he had slammed that five hour energy.

His heart may actually break out of his rib cage with how hard it’s beating in his chest.

He’s been listening to Andrew and Captain Neil go back and forth for the last hour and a half between discussing Aaron’s recent mess ups, to what they’ll do to one another with a locked door between them and the world, to Andrew complaining that Neil’s hand is sweaty, to Neil saying Yes and Andrew’s hand is no longer in Neil’s and-

He clenches his eyes close.

And Andrew has swerved back into the lane for the third time in the last five minutes while saying something unrepeatable about his plans for Captain Neil and the whipped cream.

FF does not handle swerving cars very well.

He hears Andrew say something that sounds like it could lead to a very uncomfortable yeast infection for Captain Neil didn’t properly rinse off afterwards.

The car swerves over the rumble strip.

A fear far stronger than his fear of what Andrew could do to him overtakes him.

“I don’t like swerving cars. So, I’m going to ask that you focus on the road and keep your hands on the steering wheel.” FF says so panicked that he sounds calm and he watches as both Neil and Andrew stiffen at the sound of his voice. “If you can’t, then I’m going to ask that you pull over and let me out.” He offers a second option and a part of him is just amazed that his voice doesn’t crack even once. “I’m fine with either option.” He says.

He says both are fine but…

Honestly he hopes Andrew chooses the first option as he looks at the dark and lonely highway.

He looks back up at the front seat and both Neil and Andrew are looking straight forward. Andrew’s hands are on the steering wheel.

“Thanks.” He says and returns his attention to back over Aaron’s head.

The rest of the ride to Columbia is blessedly quiet. Aaron and Nicky wake up when they get off of the interstate and Nicky has the good grace to try and wipe the drool out of FF’s hair while Aaron seems unbothered by the wet spot he left of FF’s shoulder.

They get out of the car and they each grab their own bag in exhausted silence. Nicky is barely managing to put one foot in front of the other and before FF can do or say anything Nicky is in his room and has locked his door.

The room that FF had been planning on sleeping on the floor of because Nicky had told him he could so that FF would not drink 20 5-hour energies over the course of the weekend.

But Nicky had looked really tired.

So he is given a general tour by a very quiet Captain Neil and FF forces himself not to think about the cooler that Andrew had brought to, what he assumes is, Andrew’s bedroom before it was brought to the kitchen. He gets shown where the blankets and pillows that Kevin uses are and FF nods in quiet acceptance even knowing that he is going to spend the night going over Katakana flashcards and maybe up his literacy on Kanji to a second grader’s level.

Captain Neil wishes him a good night while Andrew gives him a nod and it is the last time he sees Captain Neil that night.

It is not the last time he sees Andrew.

***

Andrew comes out of his room to go get two glasses of water nearly 2 and a half hours later. The house is silent and dark. He is pretty sure him and Neil are the only two up.

He is wrong.

He comes out into the living room on his way to the kitchen and finds FF going through flashcards at a rapid pace. He walks a little closer to see what it is but the flashcards aren’t even right side up half of the time.

He thinks about the car ride.

‘I don’t like swerving cars.’

FF had said it so matter of factly. He was uncomfortable with the swerving.

Andrew had told FF recently about the words he didn’t like.

It felt like FF was offering at least something of himself back to Andrew for the first time.

Andrew thinks about how once his hands had gone back to the steering wheel FF had leaned back into his seat and stared out the window.

Andrew has at various points tried to look up what FF’s circumstances were but searching news sites for someone named ‘Smith’ with no first name to work off of was an exercise in futility.

Neil has lamented many times to Andrew about his bizarre jealousy over how unknowable Smith is. “He’s learning new languages, keeping a low profile, and playing Exy. It’s everything that I wanted in my freshman year and couldn’t manage because Riko pissed me off so much! It’s just kind of hard to see someone living my dream.” He says.

Andrew had punched him in the arm for that one.

“My old dream!” Neil had said and Andrew almost punched him again for the smile he flashed but had ended up kissing his stupid pretty face instead.

Where was he?

Right.

FF didn’t like swerving cars.

It didn’t necessarily have to be the trauma that lead to that aversion. Andrew certainly hadn’t had anything scare him on a plane but he still hated flying.

Still.

“The flash card is upside down.” He says and watches as FF pauses in his shuffling before righting that card and flipping to the next one which was turned to the side as far as Andrew could tell.

FF should be asleep.

FF is not asleep.

It might be Andrew’s fault that his friend can’t sleep.

“It won’t happen again.” He says and FF turns and stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he nods his acceptance.

It’s nice having a friend who understands what he means without needing to explain every little thing.

***

FF thinks he might have double-dosed on the 5-hour energy.

He also thinks he might currently be able to see through time.

His flashcards are making so much sense right now.

Then Andrew had come up and it truly was a miracle that he did not shit himself considering the sheer amount of apple pie still making its way through his system. That’s a lot of fiber for one body and he’s sure the 2-3 Five Hour energies he has taken are not helping his plight in that regard.

“It won’t happen again.” Is what Andrew says and in an instant FF feels his stomach drop to his feet. He nods blankly and watches as Andrew nods back before the man went to the kitchen and left with two tall glasses of water.

‘It won’t happen again’

FF has asked Andrew for TWO favors today.

TWO WHOLE FAVORS.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

The answer was that he WASN’T.

Even if FF had paid back one of those favors with the sheer power of his granny’s pie there was the case of the secondary favor he’d asked for in the car.

‘It won’t happen again’

There won’t be anymore favors for FF. He’d used up any mercy his grandma’s pie had bought him.

He considers the time pulls out his phone and goes through some saved text files on his phone.

It’s time for guns even bigger than his grandma’s apple pie.

He takes another five hour energy and knows that he won’t be sleeping a wink. He looks up groceries stores that are open this early on Black Friday, he grabs his wallet and with immense fear in his heart grabs the keys Aaron had dropped into a bowl by the front entrance.

He needs the ingredients for his great-grandma’s brownies.

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES

Per y’all’s requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #FF's logical reasoning has not ever been his strong suit #But it really tanks when he's hitting levels of manic tired #Andrew goes back into the room with the water for him and Neil #Andrew: FF isn't mad about the car thing #Neil: Oh thank god #Neil: Wait did you hear the door just now?#Andrew: No #Neil: Oh okay I'm sure it's fine.#My search history is a nightmare now #Could Neil get a yeast infection? I'm sure the answer is readily available for me #I thought FOOLISHLY #I got like 12 different think pieces on it when I wanted a YES or a NO #Now Amazon wants to sell me creams that I do NOT need #This is what I get for having searched it on my iphone in the google app #I should have waited to get home and search in Firefox #But I (ever the fool) needed my answers now #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG Shitpost #Andreil #FF - Pt. 11

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ineed-to-sleep · 5 months

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decided to play the whole game again w nawen bc now I got her a fleshed out backstory + character development + most importantly. mods for pretty clothes

#I mean I had them by the end of the game but now I have them at the start #looking pretty at the start just hits different #bg3 #oc.nawen #sleep.txt #also this is ciri's outfit in different colors but it just really fits her story-wise and I'm feeling my feelings #I'm getting immersed I'm roleplaying I'm in the zone #bc like. just prior to this she had a rlly important position in the shadow thieves #and she was in baldur's gate on a mission to take control over the city's criminal operations for them and especially #to take the place of nine fingers keene #but behind the guild's back ofc. bc how else would they do this #she didn't exactly want to do it for a variety of reasons but what she wanted never mattered anyway #so she tried and made her move but. she failed #she got caught and attacked and barely escaped #she ended up crawling into a cave near the city to tend to her wounds #and it's right after that that she gets kidnapped by the mindflayer ship #so the messy clothes with barely any armor and the bandages just really complete The Look #if I could I'd just take away the belt on her waist but oh well. ig that would be too much to ask #but either way I am v happy w this heehee

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prince-liest · 2 months

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How did you figure out you're aromantic?

Oh, god, what a short question for such a long process, hahaha. First off, didn't figure it out until recently, age 27, but here was the approximate (and very truncated in the amount of internal conflict and introspection involved) step-by-step process:

Figured out I was queer in high school because I felt the same way about women as I did about men! Spent about 5 years thinking I was bisexual.

Figured out that I'm not actually attracted to men when I read a post describing the experience of compulsory heterosexuality and related with it intensely, which was a very freeing experience. Spent 6 years thinking I was a (nonbinary) lesbian!

Hooked up at parties a couple of times out of curiosity and then took up my best friend's offer to fuck and realized that I got the same amount of skin-crawling distaste about that as I did about sexual contact with men, thus realizing I was ace.

Let that domino tip over into the, "Actually, identifying as gay has for a long time given me the same anxiety as I used to feel when I thought I'd have to date a man, and also I'm 27 years old and have never, ever actually wanted to date another human being. When people ask me what my ideal partner is like, I start listing off ways in which they should not bother me or demand my time or be part of my life. Maybe I just don't want... anyone." domino, and the subsequent "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date women)" euphoria was identical to the "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date men)" euphoria, so.

That's where I'm at!

I'm a generally introspective person, but I'm also really great at gaslighting myself into ignoring my own discomfort, so largely it's been, haha, a diagnosis of exclusion. First I excluded men, then the discomfort with women grew large enough that I was able to exclude them as well. Reading about other people's experiences and realizing where they paralleled my own was immensely helpful! So was being close friends with a very poly person who slowly and fully unintentionally changed my perspective on how I view relationships in a very poly-and-relationship-anarchy-as-default way, which incidentally is extremely compatible with aroace queerplatonic ideals and definitely softened me up to be ready to accept that particular realization.

Also, please let this be a sign that just because you identify with one "thing" doesn't mean that you're committing to it forever! <3

#ask #personal #Anonymous #hilariously enough the gender thing was way easier #I basically tripped into it by accident by gleefully ““hiding”” my pronouns from people for a long time #until I hit social circles that just fully assumed that meant that I was nonbinary and I was like “oh... I can DO that?”#YOU HEARD OF ASSIGNED GENDER AT BIRTH NOW I BRING YOU ASSIGNED NONBINARY IN COLLEGE LMAO #sexuality #aroace #aro #hope this helped anon! everyone's journey is different #there are a lot of things I can look back on that were Definite Signs #including amusingly me thinking the concept of aromanticism was STUPID because “what they are describing is just what EVERYONE is like”

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pinacoladamatata · 3 months

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I'm still so mad about the Wyll rewrite actually

#like on top of how shitty it is that larian chose to listen to the vocal racist part of the fandom calling wyll boring/aggressive/etc #it really fucking sucks that i will never get to know what the real deal was with wylls revenge quest #i was SO CURIOUS bc i was certain more of his quest would play out in act 2 and 3 w the goblin vengeance stuff #like his utter hatred for spike?! who took his eye??? HOW??#and now its oh yeah he lost that eye in the dragon fight.#how all the other goblins KNEW him or at least OF him and they had this history #i wanted so badly to uncover wylls backstory with the full game.#and instead they rewrote it. so I'll never know.#like the revenge quest angle is so fun to me! love Astarion's revenge quest on cazador for that reason #and like i just wonder what could have been #wyll could still have been out to get karlach and that all stays the same #but the goblin history and revenge quest could have played out alongside it too #like WHAT did the goblins do that pissed him off so much?#and his moral compass is like the same so u know it was something horrible #like ok wyll signing a pact to save the city kf baldurs gate ok yeah yay #but wyll turning on the goblin gang he was fighting with and signing a pact to save 1 young boy from a goblin raid hits different

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invinciblerodent · 3 months

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and another very small, very minor entry on the list of Things I'm Getting Just a Tiny Little Bit Miffy About Seeing Repeated (Not Angry Just Ever So Slightly Annoyed)TM:

dnd elves do, in fact, mature at the same rate humans do. they're not "like children" or "not considered full adults" until they hit 100- not to anyone other than other, older elves.

like I get where the thought comes from, I fully understand it, I've read many of the source materials myself, I've read Mordenkainen's and see where the misunderstanding comes from, but... to a human, or a tiefling, or anyone else shorter-lived than an elf, a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old elf is just like a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old of their own race would be. they just look much younger than their age, and act in accordance with their personality, which is.... much less tied to someone's age than many may think. (I mean, have you never met a 50-year-old who seems just staggeringly immature? a 20-year-old who is wiser than their years would allow? have you never been to a retail establishment???????)

it's only the other elves who view a younger one as emotionally immature, and that's mainly because they have yet to bury their first generation of friends and loved ones: something a shorter-lived person only has to do once, while elves may very well go through several cycles of that in one lifetime. They have also not yet had their Drawing of the Veil, when they stop being able to access primal memories, memories of their soul's previous lives, but it's mainly the "all my once-powerful and vibrant friends are now frail and dying from old age, and yet here I remain, as young, strong, and beautiful as the day they met me, untouched by the inexorable crawl of time, what is mortality, what is death" thing.

if the people of Faerun in general thought of a 40-year-old elf as immature, as if they were a child, Astarion would have just patently not been an appointed civil administrator and judicial officer (which is what a magistrate is) 200 years ago. like he could have of course been lying when he said that that's what he was, but taking it as the once-truth, nobody would have let someone they see as a child fill such a position of responsibility. It was, however, a perfectly mundane thing for a learned adult man, such as he was, to do. (what he may or may not have done with the power he allegedly had, the kind of person he was, and whether letting him have power was the right move overall, is pretty much completely irrelevant at this juncture. corrupt officials exist regardless of age, just look at the judicial system of any country today.)

an older elf like Halsin, their maturity is not just on a different level, it's measured by a different metric than that of a shorter-lived character.

it's hard to accurately roleplay or grasp something like this with our human minds, none of us have ever spoken to a 300-year-old after all, but.... a 100-year-old elf is not a "young adult", unless you're an elf yourself. If you're a human, they're just... an adult.

#squirrel plays bg3 #at this point “squirrel rants” might be more accurate though #anyway I just read a little thing where the author had Wyll think of the PC as very young #and I thought they were supposed to be like.... 18-23-ish maybe?#nope they were 90 #and I had to stand up and go make myself a cup of coffee so i could stop giggling #oh yes Wyll Ravengard the literal 24 year old thinks Miss Player Character the woman of 90 FUCKING YEARS OF AGE is oh so very young #...... and now I hc that Astarion does tease Iona about her age from time to time #i think he'd enjoy it; especially her giving back as well as she gets without batting an eye #what can i say; elves just do sexy banter different #sometimes hitting on your (65F) immortal boyfriend (240M) just involves asking if he needs a sitdown to rest his creaking knees

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valnyte · 3 months

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Me when Victor in all his promos and previews saying "Pledge your allegiance to evil!": awwww look at he, an evil villain pookie wookie

Me after reading his birthday story and he says "Pledge your allegiance to evil.": O H

#ikemen villains #ikevil victor #i expected it but OH #THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT NOW #PROCEEDS TO GET NERVOUS BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE SAYS TO THE CROWN MEMBERS WHEN THEY LEAVE TO GO ON A MISSION #V I C T O R HAHA WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT HAHA

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fireoiny-daily · 4 months

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dumb stupid cocky annoying idiot who makes me indescribably happy if i look at him for too long

#84 #rant for no reason this just got me thinking #i like to think before the s1 finale their rivalry was just obsession with eachother but they didn’t know or think to question Why #cuz like they were kids. when you’re a kid you don’t really usually think about that. but then in the finale when they realised how much-#-they actually mean to eachother it all just hit them at once and they both realised OH SHIT IM IN LOVE!!!!#and from then on they were just. see picture #and they tried to keep the same old classic rivalry but it felt so different and tense compared to how natural and thoughtless it was befor #and that’s where we’re at now. because bfdi does not have actual romantic relationships. and i like it that way. heart ❤️#battle for dream island #bfdi #bfb #tpot #coiny #firey #fireoiny #odieart

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acowardinmordor · 11 months

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So it wasn’t published until 1989, but I feel like several members of the ST youth would have strong emotions about Magic’s Pawn by Mercedes Lackey. (And the other two Vanyel books)

Fully canon gay relationship with magic and soulmates and magic horses. Revenge and love and parental distance and parental improvement and blood feuds and homophobia and hope through the darkness and calamity and sacrifice and giving everything you have even though you might not come back at all and doing it anyway because of love.

And a thousand more pieces but. Either pretend it came out sooner or let them find it in a future fic, but jeez. Most all of them would cry.

#mercedes lackey #I’m rereading some of them #arrows currently #and it hit me how hard Eddie would cry #and will #and honestly robin and Steve #oh and el #all for different reasons #but man #if Steve found it first #and Eddie found him crying #and then he reads it #and now they’re both crying #luckily M Lackey writes wicked fast #but the next two books just means new kinds of crying

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randomnameless · 10 days

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Adrestia :

I will defeat the false goddess. I will save this world from those creatures and give humanity its freedom back!

Should the one leading the people of the world be someone with humanity or a creature that can merely masquerade as a human at will?

The children of the goddess have been defeated at last. The shape of the world will be forever changed. Humanity is free now. The world is ours once again.

You are a child of the goddess. You must not be allowed power over the people!

Brigid :

The Demon's hair exhibits new color. It is like something from one of Brigid's old stories. "One will be chosen by the spirits and granted their protection. And with that protection, great power."

In Brigid, we have legends. Stories containing people who have a spirit living inside of them. Those spirit people have much strength. They are maybe able to fly in the air or race across the ocean. Hair that shines and eyes that glow... They have qualities that are not unlike what you are looking like, Professor. Do not have doubt, Professor. The powers you have are like the powers of the legends.

Silly Petra, hopefully in Tru Piss and Supreme Bullshit, she's fully Adrestianised and understands her foolish savage folklore were only lies and deceit spread by those vile creatures masquerading as humans to keep control over Fodlan, but savage and ignorant as her people are, they prefered to buy those lies instead of "defeating" them all to free the world for humanity.

And people say Imperialism BaD, go figure!

But if Petra remains uncivilised and ditches Adrestia's warm embrace, she allows those creatures to rule over humanity again, propagating her foolish and ridiculous tales :(

#fodlan nonsense #this line in nopes hits hard #she's talking about Sothis!Billy #but hey if Billy is now a spirit person like the persons in her legends #why isn't she wondering why the fuck are we attacking them?#given how green hair and green eyes aren't vested like crusts with a blood transfusion #and Billy needed Sothis to become green #how the crap are people turning green in Brigid?#Unless Brigid had half nabateans? And sometimes with magic genetics a 1/25th Nabatean inherits the powers and traits of their nabatean #ancestor?#unless we're supposed to believe there are Nabateans living in Brigid and maybe having kids #and that's the excuse they came up to explain why they're different from the humans living there?#Granted Petra doesn't seem to have any negative view about Nabs unlike Supreme Leader #which makes the entire Tru Piss route a giant circus #unlike we're supposed to believe that just like Supreme Bullshit Ferdie #Petra actively hunts Nabateans with Supreme Leader to make her allegiance clear just in case #idk #tfw Flayn has Brigid cousins chilling when she's out there in Fodlan wondering if she could ever live in peace in her home and invited them #someday #the 'great power' part from SB though #given how she says this after seeing Billy!Sothis in the path where we kill them #it raises all kinds of red flags remember last time humans knew nabateans had great power?#oh well #3 nopes #FE16

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