#oh god i have no idea what my writing tag is. i havent used it in so long
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i’ll make you feel alive with me, alive with me
T, 5,909 words, Guo Changcheng/Chu Shuzhi, Complete
Canon-Typical Violence, Getting Together, Minor Injuries, Sharing a Bed, Holding Hands, hands are a focus. don't worry about it, set at some ambiguous time during canon
It’s dark; the only light comes from very slim windows at the very top of the walls, and most of them are obscured by dirt and broken tiles. Guo Changcheng can barely make out Chu Shuzhi, just a few feet away from him.
“Ah, hold on!” Guo Changcheng opens his bag and rummages through it, then brings his phone out, turning on the flashlight. “This should help,” he says, looking up.
The basement is empty.
_______________________________________
Guo Changcheng does detective work, gets hurt, and spends some time with Chu Shuzhi.
I wrote this *checks notes* almost two years ago, then got into a writing slump so bad I couldn't even look at it again for editing. Finally got the courage to ask my friends to read it, which made me able to read it also, and dust it off to send it into the world. I'm not actively into Guardian anymore, but my god I do love Guo Changcheng and Chu Shuzhi still. Thank you Raleigh, Robin and K for encouragements.
Enjoy! Remaining typos are my own. Title is from Love me blind by Thick as thieves, which is my go-to chuguo song.
Title is AO3 link, but I also have the fic under the cut.
Guo Changcheng fiddles with the strap of his bag while reading his notes. Most of the witness statements are confusing and hard to make sense of, as much as he’s tried. Their culprit is described as both tall and short, an old woman and a teenager, fat and stick-thin, and that’s only when the witnesses actually saw a person. If all the incidents hadn’t happened close to each other, the SID would probably not have been involved, and this would have gone under their radar. He blinks furiously and rereads the page from the top, frowning like it’ll help him make out the characters better. He has to find something, he has to, or Chu-ge…
“Changcheng.”
Guo Changcheng jumps around, eyes wide. “Chu-ge! But I thought- Are you okay? Are you recovered?”
Chu Shuzhi huffs. “Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. The chief sent me to see if you needed help.”
Guo Changcheng relaxes. “I’m glad you feel better. It was… it was scary.” He swallows and turns back to his notebook, flipping back a few pages. “Several of the people we’ve talked to reported things happening around the same building. That’s all I have so far,” he adds, looking down.
“Sounds like enough to me,” Chu Shuzhi says with a half smile. “Let’s go.”
It’s a short enough walk to the building; an old schoolhouse, abandoned for a few years now. Guo Changcheng had looked it up: the roof and walls had been falling apart, sometimes on the students, and the city had organized a hasty transfer and shut it down when the teachers’ room had flooded. It is now a decrepit, empty building, covered with climbing vines and ivy, waiting for the day it will finally be torn down and repurposed. Guo clutches at his bag and steels himself before opening the gate to the courtyard, and hears Chu Shuzhi chuckle behind him.
“Afraid of ghosts?” Chu Shuzhi asks, walking past him.
“No!” Guo Changcheng replies, definitely too fast. He has reasons to be, okay? With their job, meeting ghosts is definitely in the realm of possibilities; and he’s been uneasy since Chu-ge got taken down by their criminal of the week. Sure, he seems okay now, but…
Guo Changcheng frowns, something nagging at the back of his mind, but Chu Shuzhi is already at the door of the building, looking back at him impatiently, and so he rushes forward instead.
The interior looks mostly like Guo Changcheng had expected: dusty, with lots of debris and bits of plaster littering the floor, and some hardy plants growing from the cracks in between the tiles of the hallway.
“Stay behind me,” says Chu Shuzhi, glancing at him before going down the corridor. He opens the door to the old classrooms as silently as possible (not very), and Guo Changcheng stands at the ready behind him, peering over his shoulder with his electric baton ready. He tenses at every door, but they reach the last one without anything happening.
“Maybe this place has nothing to do with the attacks,” Guo Changcheng says, lowering his weapon and stepping back.
Chu Shuzhi turns back towards him. “We should check the whole thing anyway.”
“The whole thing?”
“There’s a basement.” Chu Shuzhi nods towards a sign right next to Guo Changcheng’s head. When he turns around, he sees the faded and scratched characters white characters on the sickly green sign, and the double doors next to it.
“Oh.” Guo Changcheng sighs a little. “Okay.”
Without waiting for his mind to tell him it’s a terrible idea, he pushes the doors open and walks in, almost falling down the steep stairs.
“Be careful!” Chu Shuzhi snaps, glancing at him to make sure he’s unharmed before going down the stairs himself.
And this - makes Guo Changcheng pause. Chu-ge… Chu Shuzhi - this Chu Shuzhi - hasn’t touched him once since meeting him earlier. And Guo Changcheng feels a little guilty for noticing, his ears growing warm, but he’s used to (enjoys probably a bit more than he should) Chu-ge’s many casual touches; rough, often, yanking him back from danger or pushing him out of the way. Gentle, other times, a warm hand over Guo Changcheng’s neck, a comforting one on his shoulder.
He hadn’t even tried to hold him back from falling down. And the witness accounts...
“You coming or not?” Chu Shuzhi calls, scowling at him.
“Yes!” Guo Changcheng steps inside, the doors closing behind him with a soft whoosh. “Sorry, Chu-ge.”
It’s dark; the only light comes from very slim windows at the very top of the walls, and most of them are obscured by dirt and broken tiles. Guo Changcheng can barely make out Chu Shuzhi, just a few feet away from him.
“Ah, hold on!” Guo Changcheng opens his bag and rummages through it, then brings his phone out, turning on the flashlight. “This should help,” he says, looking up.
The basement is empty.
Someone grabs him from behind violently, sending his phone and his baton both tumbling to the ground way too far for Guo Changcheng to reach them, and pulls his arms tightly behind him.
“Now,” says Chu Shuzhi’s voice, cold and angry and unlike anything he’s sounded like in a long while, “you’re going to be a good little hostage and tell me about the SID.”
Guo Changcheng swallows. “Chu-ge?” he asks, more for show than anything else. He tries to wriggle out of his attacker’s grasp, but they only tighten their hands - Chu Shuzhi’s hands and yet not - to the point of hurting enough to make him gasp.
“I’m not your Chu-ge. Fuck that man,” they say, wearing his face, and it makes anger spark in Changcheng’s chest. “Now tell me. Who else knows about me?”
“All of us,” Guo Changcheng says, before whimpering. “You won’t get away.”
“Dammit,” they murmur. “I guess we’re in for the long haul, then.”
They let go of one of Guo Changcheng’s arm, their hand coming up to his throat, but he’s ready. With a pained cry, he throws himself backwards and elbows them, flailing his limbs with as much energy as he can. The fake Chu Shuzhi’s grip loosens for a split second in surprise, and Guo Changcheng lunges forward, slipping out of their reach and throwing himself at his baton but falling just a bit short
“You little rat!” they hiss, and they’re on him before he has even managed to scramble up. “I’ll teach you!”
They pull their fist back, and Guo Changcheng can only hold his arms in front of him, thinking back to Chu-ge injuries, the way his jaw had looked like it had been split apart, his legs swollen and bleeding with open fractures, and he thinks, I’m going to die.
When the fist connects with his arm, Guo Changcheng screams. It feels like his bones are splintering, the pain reaching his shoulder, his heart, his neck, unbearable in its intensity. The fake Chu Shuzhi grins and prepares for another punch while Guo Changcheng reaches back, hoping for anything, anything he can use-
His fingers close on his electric baton and he brandishes it, terrified, sending all the strength of his fear in violent electric currents point blank in his attacker’s face with so much force that Guo Changcheng drops it.
The light from the electricity blinds him, and for a moment after it subsides, he thinks he missed - he wasted his shot, and he going to in horrible pain and-
But there are no other noises than his laboured breath, and he slowly, slowly sits up, trying very carefully not to let his left arm brush against anything (he fails, and it hurts a lot). He blinks a few times, listening for any sign that the fake Chu Shuzhi is still up and moving, about to hit him again, but it’s only when his own breathing calms down that he can hear the other, faint and shallow.
“Oh,” Guo Changcheng says, and then repeats when he feels his whole chest hurt as he speaks. His arm is throbbing and the pain makes him nauseous, but he makes himself sit up and look around, and finds his phone. The screen is cracked, but still functional, and he turns the flashlight on again, shining it before him.
The body of Chu Shuzhi is lying prone, eyes closed, chest rising and falling. There’s a huge burn on his face going down and under his shirt, and Guo Changcheng almost panics again before he remembers it isn’t Chu-ge. He still feels a little bad - he never means to hurt people permanently, or at all if he can help it - but the pain and the adrenaline overwhelm him, and he lies down on the mercifully cold floor, dialling the office’s number before passing out.
Professor Shen sits back and puts Guo Changcheng’s arm down, the pain finally reduced to a mere ache.
“Thank you,” Guo Changcheng says.
“It’s not entirely healed. You will need a splint, and painkillers.” Professor Shen looks down, apologetic. “That’s all I can do for now.”
“It’s more than enough,” Guo Changcheng reassures him. “Thank you so much.”
Chief Zhao interrupts before professor Shen can reply. “If I let you two go on, we’ll be at it until tomorrow,” he sighs. “Someone should be here in a couple minutes to patch you up the normal way. You did good work,” he adds, his voice serious. “How did you realize it wasn’t Lao Chu? Far as I could tell, the replica was perfect. Did he say something wrong?”
“No,” Guo Changcheng says before he can think of lying. “He, uhm. I, uh, just thought it was strange that he had recovered already,” he mumbles - he tries not to think of the intense relief he had felt, or the lack of suspicion.
“Hm. Yeah, I guess even if Shen Wei had helped out, it was fast,” Chief Zhao said pensively. “Well, either way, that probably saved your life.”
Guo Changcheng shudders. “Yes,” he says. “I’ll write it all in my report.”
“You do that.” Chief Zhao goes to pat his shoulder, but remembers Changcheng’s injuries at the last moment, and settles for an awkward thumbs up before taking his hand back.
“Guo Changcheng?” A nurse calls, standing in the door.
Professor Shen rises and Chief Zhao grins. “Ah, that’s our cue. Now, be good and don’t go fighting perps on your own again,” he says, wagging his finger at Guo Changcheng.
“I won’t,” Guo Changcheng promises.
They leave and the nurse comes over, inspecting his arm with a puzzled frown, but she only makes idle chat while applying the splint and giving him painkillers.
“This is a peculiar injury,” she says when she’s done, “so I don’t know how long exactly it will take to heal. I’d advise you to keep the splint on for at least a week, and then come back here for another look. Take painkillers whenever needed, we’ll give you a prescription.” She stands up and gathers her tools, but stops before turning around. “Oh, I almost forgot! Your friends told me to tell you your other friend is in room M202.” She looks at him with raised eyebrows, and smiles when he nods. “You should find him awake.”
“Thank you,” Guo Changcheng says again.
He hops off the examination table and goes through the door that she’s kindly holding up for him. He pauses outside, not sure where the room is, and she points left with an amused smile.
Guo Changcheng thanks her once more and watches her go in the opposite direction, waving awkwardly with his right arm - he’d gotten mostly nasty bruises on it, and it hurts still, but not nearly as much as the left one had.
Room M202 is a little further, in a less busy part of the hospital. Guo Changcheng hesitates when he finds himself in front of it. Should he knock? What if Chu-ge is resting? He probably needs it a lot. What if he’s too tired and Changcheng is just making things worse?
Before he can take a step back, though, he thinks again of the fake Chu Shuzhi - restraining him, hitting him, lying on the ground with a burn scar across his face. Guo Changcheng doesn’t know if it stayed when the Dixingren had switched back to his own appearance. He isn’t sure he wants to know. But he wants- he wants to see the real Chu Shuzhi, without the scar and with the kinder hands.
Guo Changcheng pushes the door to find Chu Shuzhi sitting up, already looking at him, with a half smile Guo Changcheng had seen just earlier today.
“Thought you’d never come in.”
“Sorry.” Guo Changcheng closes the door behind him and walks closer. There’s a chair next to the bedside, and he sits gingerly in it. He’s still quite sore from the fight.
“Dumbass,” Chu Shuzhi says. “Stop apologizing for nothing.”
He reaches out, his hand warm and familiar on Guo Changcheng’s neck, and he melts into the touch, just a little.
“Yes, Chu-ge,” he replies with a smile. “How are you doing?”
“I should ask you that.” Chu Shuzhi’s smile falls away, but his hand stays where it is, tightening in a way that would be imperceptible if Guo Changcheng wasn’t so aware of Chu Shuzhi’s touches - today especially.
“I’m fine, Chu-ge,” Guo Changcheng lies, because he isn’t above it. “Barely a scratch left.” He holds up his left arm with a wince. “Well, a bit more, but it’s a lot better now that professor Shen helped.”
This does not satisfy Chu Shuzhi. He takes his hand back and his face tightens. He stares at Guo Changcheng for a moment that seems to stretch forever, then looks down. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been here to protect you.”
Guo Changcheng smiles softly. “Now who is apologizing for nothing?”
“I’m not-” Chu Shuzhi grinds his teeth and glares at his hand, resting upon the light hospital blanket, tightened in a fist.
“I was able to take him down thanks to what you taught me, Chu-ge,” Guo Changcheng says. His voice is low, like his throat is too tight to let all of it come through. “And you- you were injured so badly, I couldn’t-”
“But he had my face,” Chu Shuzhi spoke to his hand still. “If I hadn’t been so useless, it wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t even have had to go there and…”
He trails off, and Guo Changcheng looks at Chu Shuzhi’s hand too. “You weren’t useless. He’s powerful. It’s a miracle you’re still alive,” he adds in a whisper.
Chu Shuzhi snorts. “Just good old Dixingren tricks. We’re lucky to have the Black Cloak Envoy.”
“We are,” Guo Changcheng murmurs.
Quiet falls between them again, punctuated by both of their breaths; regular, strong, Guo Changcheng thinks as he watches Chu Shuzhi’s chest rise and fall. They’re both alive, and a little worse for wear, and the silence becomes awkward in a way Guo Changcheng is surprisingly not used to.
Because there seems to be nothing else to do, and because he’s been wanting to since he came in, Guo Changcheng reaches out and grasps Chu Shuzhi’s hand with his, his long fingers folding around Chu-ge’s calloused ones.
Chu Shuzhi looks up sharply, but the corners of his eyes are soft and his mouth is half open, and Guo Changcheng's heart does strange things upon seeing Chu-ge look so unguarded.
"He had my face," Chu Shuzhi says again. "Changcheng, are you…"
He doesn't finish, but Guo Changcheng thinks he knows. Are you afraid? Do you trust me still?
He shakes his head and holds Chu-ge's hand more firmly. "I'm fine," Guo Changcheng says, and this time it is the truth. "I'm okay. We're fine."
Chu Shuzhi does not reply, but he turns his hand over and slots his fingers between Changcheng's, his grip warm and comfortingly strong, and they stay like that for a while.
"Um. What?" Guo Changcheng blinks, not sure that he heard right.
"You heard me right!" Chief Zhao says, shattering his hopes. "You've got functioning legs, Lao Chu has working arms, between the both of you, I'm sure you'll figure things out."
"But um. Uh." Guo Changcheng looks down at his arms - free of the splint, but still sore and fragile. "That doesn't seem very… Wouldn't it be better if someone else helped Chu-ge? Someone who, um, isn't injured at all?"
Chief Zhao waves his objection off with a nonchalant gesture. "And who do you think Lao Chu would tolerate in his home? You're literally the only person who's been there other than Shen Wei."
"Oh," Guo Changcheng says faintly. "That's… that's a good point, I suppose."
"You suppose?" Chief Zhao tuts disapprovingly and starts unwrapping a lollipop. "Youth these days, no respect for authority. Well, go now! You've got your assignment!"
Which is how Guo Changcheng finds himself helping Chu Shuzhi up the stairs to his apartment. He only lives on the first floor, thankfully, but he is very clearly unhappy about the crutches. He leans back when they get to his door and Changcheng slides the key in, then Chu Shuzhi hobbles in with a low but steady stream of curses.
Chu-ge is usually so dextrous, Changcheng reflects as he closes the door behind them. It’s strange to see him struggle so much with the crutches - although it is also quite funny to see how much he loathes the things. As soon as he's taken off his shoes and made his way to the couch, Chu Shuzhi tosses away the offending objects. His puppet flies out of sight, probably to check everything is where it should be.
"Would you like some tea, Chu-ge?"
"Sure." Chu Shuzhi looks at him and nods towards the kitchen. “You know where it is.”
Guo Changcheng busies himself with putting the kettle on and gently pouring the loose leaves in a strainer. He’d bought the tea for Chu-ge, as a very unofficial and entirely deniable birthday present, and it makes him smile to see more than half of it is gone.
He brings empty cups into the living room, and then the pot of tea, cradled between both his hands, careful not to drop it. He pours the tea and hands the first cup to Chu-ge, who takes it with a mumbled thanks. Guo Changcheng watches him bring the steaming cup to his mouth, inhale the floral scent of the tea with obvious pleasure, and busies himself with pouring his own cup to hide his smile.
They sit like this for a while, in companionable silence. Guo Changcheng is grateful for it; his aunt has been fussing over him ever since the - incident, and his uncle hovers around him whenever he lifts a single finger. It’s touching, but tiring.
He lets his eyes wander over the room. He’s been here before, but little has changed: the walls are still bare (except for a row of coat hangers that predates Chu Shuzhi’s tenancy), as is the scuffed wooden floor, but the mismatched furniture is clean and neat. The couch is getting older, but is covered by a nice comforter, and he hears the soft clicks of the clock that he knows hangs in the kitchen (also there independently of Chu Shuzhi; Changcheng had found it at the back of a cupboard and insisted on getting batteries for it).
“Changcheng,” Chu Shuzhi starts, breaking the peaceful quiet.
“Chu-ge?” Guo Changcheng looks at him, and is surprised to see a complicated expression on Chu Shuzhi’s face.
He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, and eventually says, “Nevermind.”
“What’s wrong?”
Chu Shuzhi huffs. “I said nevermind.” He turns around and uses his strings to grab the crutches, and hauls himself up on them.
“What are you doing?” Guo Changcheng asks, puzzled.
“Getting stuff out for dinner,” Chu Shuzhi grumbles as he hobbles into the kitchen.
Guo Changcheng puts his cup down so fast the last of the tea almost sloshes out. “I’ll help!”
“Sit down! Aren’t you supposed to rest your arms, dumbass?”
“You shouldn’t be standing around so much either!” Guo Changcheng replies, definitely not whining, as he follows Chu Shuzhi in the kitchen anyway. “I’m supposed to take care of you! Chief’s orders!”
“Yeah?” Chu Shuzhi grunts, dropping one of his crutches to reach for the fridge. “Well, I’m supposed to take care of you. Go sit.”
Guo Changcheng shakes his head. “I can help as long as it’s not too heavy.”
Chu Shuzhi inhales sharply and spins around. “Listen-” he starts, clearly worked up, holding a box of leftovers in one hand and pointing the other at Guo Changcheng.
He starts taking a step forward, and Guo Changcheng meets Chu Shuzhi’s eyes at the exact moment they both realize he’s going to fall.
Guo Changcheng lunges forward, arms outstretched and ready to catch Chu-ge, but they crumble under the weight and force of Chu Shuzhi’s fall, and they both fall to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs and pained exclamations, very soon aching too much to even try to sit up, and stay there in dead silence as the container of leftovers spins on itself for a very, very long moment before landing (thankfully) upright.
They stay silent some more, until Guo Changcheng looks up and catches Chu Shuzhi’s dismayed expression, and can’t help but start laughing. It hurts his body - he’s definitely gained some new bruises - but he can’t stop, and eventually, Chu Shuzhi relaxes and lets his hand fall back down with a soft thud and a smile.
“Are you hurt?” he asks when Guo Changcheng eventually manages to calm down.
Guo Changcheng shakes his head. “I think I’m okay.” He starts carefully (and a little regretfully, but nobody else has to know) detangling himself from Chu-ge. “Are you?”
“I’m fine.” Chu Shuzhi leans up on his elbows, and doesn’t push Guo Changcheng away when he helps him sit up and hands him his crutches.
“I think we’d better order food, Chu-ge.”
Chu Shuzhi hums, amused. “Probably.”
They make their way back to the couch together, and Guo Changcheng pours them more tea before curling up on his side of it, while Chu-ge orders for them.
“Thanks," Chu-ge says when he's done, but he doesn't grab the cup. Instead, he puts his phone down and turns towards Guo Changcheng, face carefully blank.
"Are you really fine?"
"Yeah! It hurts a little," Guo Changcheng admits sheepishly, "but-"
"That's not- It's good that you're healing, but I meant more…" Chu Shuzhi makes a face. "Mentally."
Guo Changcheng's mouth hangs open for several seconds before he remembers to close it. He struggles, unsure what to reply, his thoughts swirling in a confused maelstrom.
"I- I think so? I mean, yes," he says, more firmly than he truly feels.
Chu Shuzhi looks dubious for a moment. "You've been jumpier than usual. And you…" He pauses, frowning. "You look afraid whenever I touch you."
Something very cold bursts in Guo Changcheng’s belly, spreading to his chest and back and making it hard to breathe. He’s been a lot more reactive to Chu-ge’s touches, it’s true. Each one means that the Chu Shuzhi with him is the real one; they also remind him, sometimes, of the impostor, of his strength and the pain he’d inflicted, both on him and Chu-ge, of the moment of sheer terror he’d experienced when Chu Shuzhi had been dragged into the SID office by a wide-eyed Chief Zhao, bloodied and broken and unconscious.
Guo Changcheng does not consider himself vindictive, but when he’d seen the Dixing man who’d attacked him, his own face on, the large scar inflicted by Guo Changcheng still there, he had felt no regret.
He swallows. “I’m not afraid of you, Chu-ge. I promise. I just- it’s hard to not think about, at least some of the time. I was so scared...” He trails off, words stuck just behind his tongue.
Chu Shuzhi’s shoulders are still tense, but he nods after a minute. “It won’t happen again.”
It’s Guo Changcheng’s turn to nod, the cold feeling in his chest slowly seeping out of him. He doesn’t trust himself to talk, but he stretches his legs a little, wiggling his toes under Chu Shuzhi’s thigh, and settles like that.
The rest of the evening passes in between idle chatter and familiar silence, and appreciative slurping noises when their food arrives. It’s warm inside, and the couch is comfortable, and Guo Changcheng eventually finds that his eyes are closing of their own accord while he scrolls through his phone, looking for interesting tidbits to relay to Chu-ge.
Chu-ge snorts when Changcheng is interrupted by his own yawn for the fourth time in a row. “I think you should go to bed.”
Changcheng rubs his eyes and shakes his head. “I don’t want to chase you from the couch if you don’t want to sleep.”
“The couch?”
Changcheng hums, a little surprised by the question. “Yes! Where I’ll sleep?”
Chu Shuzhi frowns. “You’re not sleeping on this. It’s shit.”
“But then-” Changcheng meets Chu-ge's eyes, and he tilts his head back towards the bedroom. “Oh.”
“What?”
“It’s fine,” Changcheng rushes to say. “It’s fine? If it’s okay with you.”
“I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t.” Chu-ge nudges him. “Just go lie down, you look like you’re about to fall over.”
Changcheng blushes, but he can’t deny he’s exhausted. “Okay. Good night, Chu-ge.”
He stops in the bathroom first; he does his best to clean his teeth without a toothbrush, and splashes some water on his face, wiping it with his sleeve.
He’s stayed overnight before, during some truly difficult cases, but he’s never slept in Chu-ge’s apartment. When Changcheng turns the bedroom light on, he notes that the bed looks very inviting, and not just because he’s desperate to fall asleep. The bedroom looks nicer than the rest of the place; there’s a smaller bed to the side for Chu-ge’s puppet, a pair of black pants hanging out their drawer, and a book resting upside down on the bedside table. It’s not like the walls look less ancient or the floor in better condition - it just looks more like Chu-ge spends time there.
Changcheng hesitates for a second, then takes off his pants and his sweater and folds them neatly before placing them on top of Chu-ge's drawers. It's not quite cold without his clothes on, but he still hurries under the covers. He has to wriggle for a while to find a position that doesn't hurt, but he manages to take up only a third of the bed. It seems fair, Changcheng thinks: Chu-ge is basically twice as large as he is.
He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, counting out how long he inhales and exhales to calm down. He is exhausted; part of the reason is that he hasn’t been able to sleep very well. He knows, theoretically, that the danger has passed, but it’s harder to believe it when he’s alone in the middle of the night.
He listens to the distant sound of Chu-ge shuffling around the flat, throwing away the empty containers from their meal, then going back to the couch, calling out to his puppet, giving a displeased grunt - maybe at the crutches, Changcheng thinks with a smile. Before he knows it, he slips into unconsciousness.
He blinks awake some time later. He has no idea where he is or what woke him up, at first, until he feels the bed dip next to him and sees Chu-ge's face, lit by the soft glow of the streetlights standing outside, a few floors below.
"Go back to sleep," Chu Shuzhi murmurs, tugging the blanket so it covers them both.
"Mhm." Changcheng looks up blearily, letting his eyes linger on Chu-ge's face. He traces his jawline, up to his ears, his cheekbones, his handsome nose and his eyes. Oh, his eyes, Changcheng thinks, lost halfway between sleep and consciousness. He really likes them. They're so expressive, and beautiful, and they're watching him, intense in the grey light.
"You have really nice eyes, Chu-ge," Changcheng mumbles, reaching out to touch his face before he gives up, betrayed by the gravity of his own limbs.
Chu Shuzhi doesn't say anything. He keeps watching Changcheng for what feels like a long while, and he breathes a little hard, just loud enough for Changcheng to pick up on it. He frowns and tries to reach out again, but Chu Shuzhi catches his hand first. "Go back to sleep," he repeats, weaker than before.
Changcheng stays silent while Chu Shuzhi arranges himself, without letting go of Changcheng's hand. He stays silent after, too, caught up in the softness of this secret moment, an intimacy that came more easily than he'd ever thought. He feels Chu-ge's hand in his, dry and warm, and he squeezes a little. Chu Shuzhi squeezes back - an acknowledgement or a question, Changcheng doesn't know. His chest feels heavy, his belly and his spine warm with a feeling he cannot name.
"I'm really happy you're alive," he says, the words lifted out of him by a sigh.
Chu Shuzhi turns around to look at him, familiar frown softened by the dim light. "Where did that come from?"
"When Chief Zhao brought you in," Changcheng replies, "I was so scared. I was so scared you were going to die." His voice trembles and he clutches Chu-ge's hand harder. "I'm really glad you didn't."
Chu Shuzhi's eyes widen and his mouth opens a little, and it makes him look almost defenseless, here in his bed, holding Guo Changcheng's hand. He swallows once, twice, Changcheng following the line of his throat before coming back to his face.
"When." Chu Shuzhi swallows again. "When Zhu Hong told me you'd faced that guy alone, I was… angry." He grits his teeth. "And I thought she was going to tell me he'd killed you." He rolls on his side, a little closer to Changcheng. "I'm proud of you. And I'm really glad you're alive, too." His voice breaks on the last word.
Changcheng rolls on his side too, wincing at the pain in his shoulder, and brings his other hand over Chu-ge's, holding it firmly as he feels his chest constrict around his heart, like it's about to be squeezed out of him by the strength of his emotions. "I was so scared," he repeats, staring at Chu Shuzhi, letting his words be ripped from his core. "I don't want to lose you. I can't-"
He stops himself right before crying. His eyes are stinging and his vision is a little blurry, but he can still feel Chu-ge, smell him on his pillow, feel his warmth under the blanket, and it's enough to push the tears back a little.
Chu Shuzhi scoots forward, a little awkwardly, and stops only when he's close enough that Changcheng can feel his breath. Their tangled hands are trapped between them, warm and safe. Changcheng sniffs and blinks away the tears, and Chu Shuzhi… Chu Shuzhi looks undone. His eyes are roaming around Changcheng's face, looking for something, and when he raises his free hand, it's shaking. He brushes Changcheng's hair back, his thumb brushing the corner of Changcheng's eye, before his hand finds its place at the nape of Changcheng's neck.
It feels heavy, like good pressure, the kind you get from a weighted blanket or a dog cuddling you, from hot water in the shower after a long day. Chu Shuzhi's eyes finally settle.
"You won't," he says in a rough voice. "I swear."
Changcheng feels him promise and knows it's true. He nods, and lets his head yield under Chu-ge's hand, bringing their foreheads together, their noses almost touching. Chu Shuzhi starts sweeping his thumb back and forth across the side of Changcheng's neck, gentle, almost like petting, and this is how Changcheng falls asleep a second time.
Changcheng wakes up slowly. The morning light is still weak, but he feels rested in a way he hasn't in a long time. He's alone in the bed, the memories of the night fuzzy but solid.
He gets up and puts on his clothes from yesterday, then makes the bed, appreciating the soft sound of fabric sliding against fabric.
When he emerges from the bedroom, Chu Shuzhi is sitting on the couch again, and his puppet is standing on the coffee table, facing him. Chu Shuzhi's head is bent down, towards the puppet, like they're having a conversation, but he looks up when he hears Changcheng's footsteps. He looks tired, Changcheng thinks to himself with a tinge of worry.
"Good morning," Chu Shuzhi says, sitting back up.
“Good morning! How did you sleep?” Changcheng steps forward, putting his hands on the back of the couch. “Did I keep you up?” he asks, biting his lips.
Chu Shuzhi narrows his eyes at him a little. “Not… you, exactly. Sit down,” he adds, patting the space next to him once.
Changcheng does, and notices as he goes around the couch that Chu-ge’s puppet flies out the window and away, leaving them alone. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, everything is fine,” Chu Shuzhi says. “But we need to talk.”
"Oh." Changcheng's mouth feels very dry suddenly, and his heart falls down to his stomach. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No!" Chu Shuzhi lifts his hand, as if to reach out, but ends up twisting it into the comforter. "You didn't."
When, after a minute, nothing else is forthcoming, Changcheng scoots a little closer. "What do you want to talk about?" he asks, voice soft.
Chu Shuzhi grits his teeth. "What you said last night." Changcheng feels his ears get warm, remembering how open he'd been. "Did you mean it?"
I don't want to lose you. "I did." Changcheng's heart is beating strong in his belly now, giving him courage. "I still do. And I… I've been feeling that way for a while, now," he confesses. He can hear nothing, now, other than Chu-ge's breath, can see nothing but him, the rest of the apartment seemingly falling away in a blur.
Despite this, Changcheng jumps when Chu-ge brings his hand to his neck, stroking the same way he had last night. The way he looks at him, though - tender and afraid and determined, is nothing like the previous night.
"Me, too," Chu Shuzhi admits in a whisper. "But I want to be clear about this."
He leans forward, slowly, so slowly, until their noses are touching, and Changcheng almost has to go crosseyed to hold Chu-ge's gaze. He doesn't lean back; he lifts his hand to cover Chu-ge's wrist, keeping his palm on him, without breaking eye contact.
And finally, finally, finally, Chu Shuzhi kisses him. It makes Changcheng combust and anchors him to the points where they are touching, and it's short and imperfect because he cannot help but grin into it, overflowing.
When Chu Shuzhi leans back, a hint of uncertainty still lingering on his face amidst the wonder, Changcheng mirrors him, placing his own hand on Chu-ge's neck and rubbing gently at the junction between his throat and his jaw.
"You want this?" Chu Shuzhi speaks with his whole chest despite his words not being very loud, and Changcheng feels the question make its way up his throat.
"I do. I really, really do, Chu-ge."
When Chu Shuzhi kisses him again, Changcheng laughs. He has never been this happy.
#guardian#guardian 2018#chuguo#guo changcheng#chu shuzhi#fic#my fic#oh god i have no idea what my writing tag is. i havent used it in so long#this reminded me how much i love them... maybe tonight i go through my fic bookmarks#also i had NOT missed dealing with AO3 html formatting
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second, never first
part one | part two | part three | part four
chris x fem!reader
summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become close friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.
warnings - underage drinking, throwing up, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol and yes i am 18) currently not proofread or written with pristine punctuation
word count - 2500+?? (i know its long but i had a bunch of ideas for the beginning)
this is also my first story so pls be kind :) also just wanted to mention that i wouldn’t have the courage to write and post if it werent for other writers on this app so i would just like to tag and thank a few accounts who inspired me to write<3
@lovingmattysposts @flowerxbunnie @strniohoeee @lacysturniolo @strawberrysturniolo @flynnriderishot @stuniolobbg 
~
for as long as i could remember, being the second option was all i knew. just always being the backup, never the go to.
this constant course of events led to my passion of reading and writing, pretty much consuming myself with content or sources that provided me with a sense of belonging, or just putting myself into a different reality.
i always had been drawn to romance. its a un-comforting comfort for me, if that makes sense. i love reading about it and watching movies about it but love just seemed so out of reach. im sure many people feel this way but i just believe there are certain people in the world that just go through life without any sort of romantic experiences. now while that may be true i also think thats just something i made up in my head to comfort myself from the fact that i have never had a single romantic experience, ever. i mean im 17 years old and havent even had my first kiss. hell i havent even held hands with a boy.
that of course all changed during my senior year.
-
“oh my god look at what cody sent me” anna says.
anna is my best friend, though at times she felt like my biggest competition. she is everything im not. constantly talking to boys, what people consider ‘boy pretty’, very out going and popular. the fun one.
i look over at her phone to see a text from one of the many boys shes talked to in the past year “i thought you guys were done?” i say
“yeah were not talking like that anymore but i still talk to him here and there” she says
“i dont know if thats the best idea, i mean if you guys keep talking hes probably going to get the wrong impression”
“your such a buzz kill sometimes” she says slightly annoyed. i stay silent. I might sound like a complete bitch here but when your friend is constantly talking or complaining about guy, a, b and c you eventually get bored and exhausted of hearing about it, I try my hardest to be understanding when she brings up guys, but I’m apparently never supportive enough to her standards. I suppose she wants me to be there and give her advice but what do I have to offer to that conversation?
we were driving through the school parking lot to park in our usual spot next to chris.
chris is, well complicated. ive known him since 7th grade and hated him up until about 3 months ago when senior year started. the friendship started off with him just parking next to my car everyday and him just pestering me all the time but the longer we kept parking together, the more we grew to enjoy our casual conversations.
we both roll down our windows.
“morning” i say waving at him, anna does the same “hey, i wanna skip first block if you guys are down” he says “you know i would never say to to that” anna says “ehh i dont know about today i have a bio project i need to work on and didnt getting the planning sheet so i should probably head in” i say
“alright, anna come on i wanna get mcdonalds” chris says tapping on his passenger seat.
“looks like its just us this morning! y/n me and chris can just go get food and ill bring you back something for lunch” anna says turning to me.
“ill see you guys at lunch” i say grabbing my bag and locking my car doors as anna gets in to chris’ car and they drive off.
if you havent caught the weird passive tone from anna, thats how she was. no matter how much i tried she always had to be the centre of attention . i honestly dont even think she does it on purpose. i love her and she is my best friend but i just find her insufferable at times, its just who she is. chris is a great friend to me but i always caught the vibe that chris liked anna or at least thought she was hot. which is also why i think he treats her with more respect than me.
now when i said we grew to like eachother i left out a slight detail.
even though i hated chris for most of high school for the way he treated me and constantly teased me, i couldnt help myself from starring at him from time to time as he talked or even looking at his hands. not only was he visually pleasing he could be really sweet and the conversations we shared were really meaningful at times. was he attractive, yes. was he a complete asshole to me for years and still hasnt apologized, yes. did i completely fall head over heels for him when he began to show me his nice side, sadly yes.
its so cliche but i fell for my “bully” so to speak. i hated myself for it but what i hated even more was how much i let my feelings for him effect how i saw myself even more as the second option. if it came down to it and me anna and him were the only people in the world he would still fuck anna before he even though about kissing me.
i know that i might only feel this way towards him simply because hes the only male thats shown me any attention at all. though it hasnt always been positive or romantic it was still something that i had never experienced from a male before.
like i said, second option.
-
i finish up my final class and head out to my car and wait for anna who is doing god knows what considering i drive her home everyday after school. while waiting for anna, chris gets into his car and starts it to heat up as it is the beginning of winter. i watch what hes doing through his car window as he scrolls on his phone for a sec and then storms into the backseat of my car, always the backseat.
my head whips around to look at him and he looks annoyed. “why do you look mad” i say. “look at what this bitch said to me” he says leaning up to the middle console shoving his phone in my face and i read texts from a girl hes talking to.
friday 3:14pm
alice: chris i cant keep talking to you
chris: what do you mean
alice: i mean that i cant keep talking to you what were doing is messing with my head and i dont want to be a victim of one of your fuck and dumps
chris: im sure i have many other girls who would kill to be in your position
alice: then go have them i dont want to be apart of your sick and twisted hookups
“ok wow” i say my eyes wide “i didnt even know you were talking to alice”
“well now you do, and im not anymore apparently” he says throwing his arms up as he sinks in to the middle seat. “we have been fucking since the halloween party, remember when i kissed her infront of you?” he says in a duh tone.
ah yes halloween. the night i went home crying after said kiss was shared infront of my face.
“yes i remember” i say blankly.
“we were supposed to hangout tonight but she decided to blow me off, i was ready to get my dick wet but i guess ill just have to be fucking boring alone” he says as i make a disgusted face.
“well i dont know what to te-“ i was cut off by anna coming into the car.
“ok sorry i took so long but i was just getting the details for a party tonight!” she says out of breath. chris sits up at the news, “maybe i will get my dick wet then.” he says smirking and jokingly raising his eyebrows.
“what? alice blew you off already.” anna says turning to chris. i dont bother questioning why anna knew and i didnt because im sure i know answer.
“yep and im scoring tonight.” he says fake punching the air as me and anna giggle.
-
anna and i finished getting ready at her place, her wearing jeans and a hot pink tank top and me in black jeans and a white long sleeve crop top. i stare at myself in the mirror when i hear annas phone go off with a text from chris.
friday 10:27pm
chris: here
“anna! chris is here!” i yell grabbing my phone and my drinks for the night from my bag and start making my way downstairs as i hear her close behind me. i tie up my shoes as i hear her grab her drinks from her fridge and say bye her parents. i wave goodbye to her parents as well and we make our way out to chris’ car.
upon entering were greeted by matt, chris’ brother in the passenger seat.
“hey matt i didnt know you were coming out tonight!” i say smiling at him as loud music blasts from chris’ speakers.
“yeah nicks also going so i just tagged along, plus i need to drive you guys home since chris is drinking tonight.” he says lightly punching chris in the arm. “oh yeah, speaking of nick where is he?” i say. “nicks already there he came with his friends.” i nod in response and sit back starting to chug down one of my drinks. i may be a buzz kill in annas eyes but i knew how to party and loved drinking with my friends.
matt is chris’ triplet brother along with nick. i never really got to know his brothers all that well, i just know that matt has become a lot more comfortable around me and anna as we have started to spend more time with chris.
once we arrive to the party me and anna walk around to see whos there and we meet up with some of our other friends. i can see chris from across the room laughing and talking to nick and matt.
the night goes on and i finish my fourth cooler of the night and head out to the car to grab another. when i step outside the cool air hits me and i instantly regret the 2 shots of tequila i had on top of the fruity coolers i had throughout the night. shivering and rubbing my arms i continue walking to chris’ car to sit down for a sec and when i reach the backseat i see chris’ naked back and steamy windows. i take a step back once i realize whats happening.
i knew he was going to end up fucking someone tonight since thats what he said his plan was but i did not need to fucking see it. hes not mine for the taking obviously, but seeing him constantly with girls just hurt.
i turn around to walk back into the house but suddenly feel sick to my stomach. i hunch over and throw up in the middle of the road. i cough and collapse to my knees continuing to gag as strings of spit come out of my mouth. i hear a car door shut behind me as i try to stand up wiping my mouth. i feel arms grab my waist and pick me up bridal style and thats the last thing i remember before everything went black.
-
i wake up in a car with the same clothes on from the party, still drunk, my hair crispy and the smell of cologne. i look around me and realize its chris’ backseat im laying in but its still pitch black out.
i hear faint voices outside and the door my head is resting on swings open and my head flys back.
“holy shit chris are you trying to kill her” i hear matts voice. “shut up, i didn’t know you put her head there.” chris says as he starts pulling me out of the car.
“chris” i say quietly. “holy shit your awake” he says leaving me to sit up. “yeah i am, what happened. i think i- blacked out.” i say slurring my words.
“well i was in the middle of getting with summer-“ he says getting on his knees to talk to me better “and i just heard gagging outside the car and it was bothering me and i looked outside the car and you were bent over on the middle of the road throwing up. i just grabbed you and told summer to fuck off and put you in the car while i grabbed matt and anna.”
“oh my god” i say as i nod off.
“woah woah stay with us here, chris lets get her inside now” matt says placing my head back up.
“where is anna?” i question.
“we had to drop her home and bring you to our house since she said her parents couldn’t see you like this.”
“of course” i say
classic anna.
“what time is it?” i ask rubbing my eyes.
“2:44am” chris grunts taking me out of the car.
“ok lets get you inside” chris says pulling me up to stand. “you think you can walk inside?” he says still holding me up. “ill try.”
he lets go of me and i slowly make it up to the front of their house but start wobbling once i reach the steps and feel both matt and chris grab either side of me and help me up to the front door. matt holds on to my arm as he uses the house key to get inside and i walk in.
they walk me over to the living room couch and i slump over resting my head on the arm rest of the couch.
“where is she going to sleep?” matt says. “my room obviously.” chris says as i smile to myself.
“come on y/n” he says picking me up again and bringing me to his room to lay on his bed. “im gonna give you clothes to change into since yours are covered in vomit.” he says opening drawers. i nod my head as my eyes close.
he tosses me a big white shirt with some graphic designing on it “can you dress yourself or-“ i cut him off “yea- yeah i got it” i say sitting up right and hiccup.
he turns around so i can change into the shirt. i begin taking my long sleeve off and i get one arm off before i get stuck. “chris, help” i say quietly and he turns around to see me with my arms slouched and my eyes closed. he rushes over “lift up your arms” he says pulling my hands up. i hold them up as he grabs the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls up. i admire chris as he pulls off the shirt completely throwing my shirt across the room all while being careful not to look at me.
he grabs his shirt and places it gently over my head and then threading my arms through the shirt. “wait” he says walking over to his closet, grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and walking over to me with them. i sit there with my eyes closed smiling as i had thought about the scenario of him taking my clothes off many times, just not the me being so drunk i cant dress myself part.
he takes my jeans off and helps me in to his sweatpants still being respectful and not starring at my body. “ill be right back just sit here im going to get you water and an advil.” he say as he walks out of the room. i just sit there, my eyes still closed, still smiling and nod at his sentence.
i lay back down on his bed and wait as i hear him rushing upstairs talking to matt and nick before walking back in to the room sitting down at the end of his bed. “sit snd open up.” i obliged to his words before he places two advils on my tongue.
“im going to fill up your mouth with water so don’t breathe.” he says opening up a water bottle and slowly pouring some in to my mouth while my head tilts upwards slightly. he watches me with concern as i swallow the water.
“please never get drunk like this ever again, you really freaked everyone out kid.” he says. i don’t respond and nod at his words.
kid, the all too familiar nickname chris gave me. it always made me feel weird when he called me this as if he was an authority figure or something.
i lay back down on his bed and close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep. the last thing i remember from that night is him crawling in to his bed next to me and turning off his light.
“goodnight kid”
-
thank you for reading!!!
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo edit#sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x y/n
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you'll do it better, show me how
Lovino almost blames himself for this—he should have known his microscopic iota of luck had run out a long time ago, if it ever existed at all, and at this point the universe exists to mock him personally, so, really, he should have known this was coming.
But still, Matthew doesn’t need to look so smug.
(or, alternatively, the one where Lovino is a TA and Antonio is determined to ruin his life)
oneshot, spamano, prucan, so background it's not even worth tagging fruk.
Words: 28,580, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Relationships: South Italy/Spain (Hetalia), Canada/Prussia (Hetalia), Canada & South Italy (Hetalia), France & Prussia & Spain (Hetalia)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, So much pining oh my god, Slow burn, In the way that a one-shot can be a slowburn i suppose, (and in the way almost 30k can be a oneshot), Really leaning into the ye old idea that romano and canada would be besties, They’re besties to me!!!, and ofc the bft being themselves for better or for worse, They’re all buffoons with one collective braincell between them and yet they still can’t find it, Egregious use of italics/em dashes/commas, Because sentences should be fun!!!
i can't even begin to say where the hell this came from, but here is almost 30k of mutual pining university au spamano nonsense, courtesy of me re-entering a fandom i havent been in since i was maybe 11 or 12 years old.
i know its not what i usually write (and no, none of my other works have been abandoned), but i couldnt help myself. there will be more. i can feel it. middle school me would be delighted.
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the OFFICIAL sonatchet propaganda post from the REAL ceo of sonatchet
are you a fan of sonic the hedgehog? perhaps ratchet and clank is more your style? or maybe you like both? well, have I got the ship for you.
now, why should YOU ship sonatchet? it's simple: the franchises have so much in common. now, sonic fans, when i say, an anthropomorphic creature has to stop the evil capitalist baddie from taking over the world with his little buddy, smart as a whistle. along the way, he grinds rails, he follows his own path, not exactly good, but certainly heroic. he does this all with an absolutely brilliant soundtrack. and yeah, maybe the more recent games haven't been so good, writing and gameplay-wise, but hey, we're getting back on track.
what i have just described to you is ratchet and clank. initially created a year after everyone's golden child of sonic games, sa2, by ex-members of sonic team, ratchet and clank has been a vital part of my upbringing, more so than sonic has. for me, sonic is a more recent thing. i've been a fan since i was 5. when did i become a fan of r&c, you may ask? well, my first memory is my dad playing it in front of me, to give you an idea. i couldn't walk or speak properly, sat in a high chair, presumably eating soggy toast, one half marmite and the other of bovril. but, by that point, i was used to the experience - i can't even remember the first time i watched him play.
for any sonic fans who havent yet got the gist, imagine shadow the hedgehog (2005) with good writing that sounds like how actual people speak and less goofy weapons. edginess for the sake of humour rather than for edginess. oh also there is actual genocide in r&c1 quick heads up.
so, r&c fans, with it being far more mainstream, you're probably well aware of the overlap between the two franchises. hell, most of you reading probably are sonic fans. so, of course, i probably wont have to explain sonic in ratchet and clank terms. i want to but i wont. at the end of the day, all you need to know is that sonic is a hedgehog who runs fast and is kinda like ratchet.
THE SIMILARITIES
quickfire round! if it's in blue, it's headcanon, if it's plain text, it's canon!
transmasc and bi
somewhat morally grey, however definitely on the good side and classes themself as a hero
has a younger brother-figure/best friend who's good with electronics and can let him fly
has to fight robots
the biggest baddie is usually capitalism or actual cosmic horrors
space is vaguely related
sci fi
both quite calm and laid back but can get very serious and angry if you let them
adventurous travellers
fairly flirty but never seem to settle down (aroace reference?)
from what ive heard stc sonic is basically slightly angrier 2002 ratchet (i havent read stc though)
both almost the exact same age, with ratchet being 14-16, depending on which game, and sonic being 15
THE DIFFERENCES
ratchet LOVES weapons, with the vast arsenal being one of the main selling points of r&c1/sonic is known for spin dash
ratchet canonically has negative rizz (though i believe has had canon love interests iirc?)/sonic is attractive to almost everyone
ratchet has explored multiple galaxies/sonic has only explored a single planet and the odd space station
sonic is probably more likely to do the right thing
sonic is a giant environmentalist, literally has befriended nature/ratchet cares more about saving people than planets, unless it's an actual planet blowing up. like, the planet will cease to exist from quark's super laser piss or something
all of this ties together to create the wonderful ship we call sonatchet, a real and true yearning across franchises. truly, god made them in different game studios because he knew they would be unstoppable as canon lovers.
for any sonic fans wanting a really good comparison, id say the best i can give you is sonadow with a sonknux dynamic? though, not entirely. obviously, if there were a comparable ship, i wouldn't bother tagging in another guy from a completely seperate franchise, so please, please, understand the joys of sonatchet.
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temptation tuesday
tagged by @honestlydarkprincess 😘
another day another couple hundred ideas...will they ever become wips?? who knows!
buddie move into a "haunted" house crack exactly what it sounds like LMAO they move into a new house and its gonna basically be like
buck: babe our house is haunted that piece of furniture just moved RIGHT in front of us???
eddie: .... no i do not see it,,, im going to bed❤️
buddie first argument buck and eddie have their first fight and a couple and it leaks into the firehouse. chim and hen are nosy and want to know what they're fighting about (and bc they care!! like why are their friends fighting??) so they basically interrogate them separately and help them try to talk to each other like normal ppl
eddie buying anniversary present for buck cashier scares him with gambling story this is so sjfhjdks its really silly and came to me super randomly but eddie goes shopping with hen to buy an anniversary present and they come across this cute lil shop. eddie goes to pay and the cashier is VERY nosy and also VERY talkative. imma just say she tells eddie unprompted about her gambling addict (ex) bf who spent all of her savings and now shes broke but its so WONDERFUL him and his partner have been together 6 months happy anniversary!!!! eddie and hen leave the store like what the fuck? can we agree to never go back there?
buck is accused of murder or some other super serious thing uhh tbh idk if i'll ever write this its super angsty but im a sucker for this trope on tv soooo
buck disappears after almost running someone over OKAY so i pretty much have like more than half of this fic planned out i just. havent written it. u know how it is. y'all ready? okay lets do this under the cut:
this is def inspired by something ive watched before i just dont remember what. anyway. newly weds buck and eddie driving home from work (maybe) buck is driving. they're talking yknow shooting the shit and then all of a sudden this woman comes outta no where and runs in front of the car eddie yells "BUCK" and buck hits the breaks almost running her over but he doesn't. the woman has blood coming out of her eyes and she puts her hands on the hood of the car and tries to say something before she collapses on the ground. buddie get out of the car and try to help her but her heart stops and while eddie does cpr buck calls 911
so it goes the cops come and question them and buck is just sitting there like oh my god did I hit her? is it my fault she died and eddie is like um no !!!! it was obviously something else. anyway they get let go and they go home. there's an investigation n shit but no leads so the case goes cold. a few months later there's another victim and the 118 responds and it's the sameeee thing!! that happened to buddie and ofc they're freaked out
something something other things happen but I'm thinking buck somehow gets involved bc he's nosy and gets kidnapped by the baddie who did that to the other victims
the second part is the aftermath of his disappearance but imma leave it for another time bc this this is so loooong. hmu if yall want more tho !!
tagging @bigfootsmom @lovebuck @herodiaz @usercowboy @dollhousejee
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20 asks for fic writers
i was tagged by @plecotusauritus and @kaaaaaaarf <333
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
three right now!
2. what's your total ao3 word count?
43,458
3. What fandoms do you write for?
marauders! i used to write a bit for haikyuu but not in a while
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
honey sweet
shovel talk
summer came early
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i try to! i havent recently tbh and i dont force myself to but i like to
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending
uhhhh maybe honey sweet? just because they dont live near each other lmao
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
i feel like its also honey sweet bc theyre pretty happy at the end, but (spoiler alert) summer came early is gonna have a happier ending if i ever finish it
8. Do you get hate on fics?
nah. i think the worst ive gotten was someone being mean to sirius in the comments of summer came early but it wasnt really mean, maybe just me being a little annoyed that someone dislikes summer came early sirius bc hes my fav
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yessss ofc. i feel like what ive published so far has been like, vanilla by ao3 standards, and i wanna write more kinky shit in the future lmao
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
nahhh not my thing personally
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
nope!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
no!! i have thought about trying my hand at translating honey sweet into spanish for fun, but i dont think im quite at that level lol
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
noooo but me n bat always have some shit we are mutually hallucinating. most notably walburga mommy vlogger atm
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
this. is really hard. like obviously i love wolfstar but also prongsfoot and wolfstarbucks (duh), and ive had drarry brainrot for a while now, and my love of sakuatsu will never fully leave me and neither will everlark so..... yeah idk
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
oh man. i have a LOT of unpublished unfinished ideas hidden away in my google drive. like. a LOT. summer came early seems a bit daunting rn, but i do think i will finish it eventually.
16. What are your writing strengths?
mmmmmm id probably say dialogue? and humor.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
PACING. oh my god i feel like my pacing is always janky. also i think i have the tendency to like, write in things that dont necessarily need to be there, scenes that dont really do a lot of legwork plotwise.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
if i speak the language im down, but if i dont i think i would definitely need to consult with someone whos fluent.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
haikyuu!! i purged most of the fics i wrote for that fandom years ago from ao3 and theyre never returning lmao
20. Favourite fic you've written?
honey sweet for sure. i enjoyed writing it SO MUCH and i adore that version of wolfstar + jily sooooo much
i am once again a bit late to the game with this tag thing so open tag!!! (yes, you)
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lovely lovely @eyeofdog tagged me a whiiiilee ago but i saved it in my drafts and forgot to answer!!! sorry this is so late <3
what’s your favorite song(s) to sing/hum?
oh a lot of things. i love singing and humming. i suppose i always really enjoy singing highwomen by the highwomen! its a beautiful song so if you havent heard it gooooo
what’s your favourite flower/tree/plant?
god help me if i know the name of any plant, flower or tree (despite the fact that my mom keeps telling me dozens of them per week) lets say poppy flower! bc i do have a relationship with her strudels and wwi symbolism...
favourite colours?
mhhmmmm. turquoise, warmer yellows, green.
what do you always doodle?
i tend towards people/humanoid things. but its also central in my practice so makes sense!
how do you take your coffee/tea?
almost exclusively drink coffee and depends! most often with a good amount of milk because my stomach is a bitch, but i also drink turkish coffee and recently arabic coffee. i was introduced to it (black coffee with cardamom) by my moms friend from jordan and it was soooooo good. fingers crossed i can find a good one in serbia :////
favourite candle scent?
oh god no idea. havent lit a scented candle in years. i tend towards incense, frankincense is too good
sunrise or sunset?
sunrise, sunset is beautiful but whenever i see a sunrise its always a special occasion. except when i lived in the netherlands i guess.......
what perfume do you wear?
whichever one i have, im not very picky, i just like to smell kinda nice sometimes.
favourite quote?
god too many. but lets just use the painful text i reread in last essay i read.
- where are you from?
- from yugoslavia
- is there such a country?
- no, but that’s still where i come from.
favourite self care routine(s)?
uh nothing particular, i dont really do it in that format? lts become kinda weird for me - the term. just trying to take care of myself whenever i can by showering, eating a bit better etc. i guess the true answer is when i decide to smoke weed by myself and listen to music? its really good.
fuzzy socks or house slippers?
fuzzy socks. i love them but also if i dont wear them my stomach will signal its protest by making me bend over in pain.
what colour are your eyes?
dont put me on the spot like this....:(......i have central heterochromia, so they are kinda blue with yellow around the iris which kinda makes them look blue/green? idk everyone has a diff opinion on what my eye color is.
what’s your favorite eye colour on others?
brown. this is a brown eyes superiority blog.
favourite season? why?
not to be annoying but it depends so much on where you are living dkasopdkpao im going to say winter just because i love new years and have magical feelings about snow
cheek, neck, or nose kisses?
hmmm cheek i guess? or quick nose kisses. forehead is the real answer for me.
favourite breed of dog?
oh god dont make me pick. i dont really have one, i just love dogs. i have one cotton de tulear who is beyond precious and two mutts, so those are automatically my favourite i guess!
do you ever want to be married? if so, what colors would you pick for your wedding theme?
well my ass is going to have to for eu citizenship aspdapls! thats a lie actually you can apply for it via long-term partnership in the netherlands ANYWAY conceptually i dont mind either way. i dont need to, but i wouldnt not want to. for me getting married is a promise i take seriously, so it comes down to if i want to make that promise. i do think its neat to just celebrate with you friends though. you can get married without participating in the insanity of the wedding economy. re: color i have no idea?? i dont think my wedding would have enough objects to have a color theme lmao everyone can wear whatever they want.
cursive or print?
cursive bc it lets me embrace my illegible handwriting <<< just left the previous answer because literally same. but i sure do regret it when i have to read my own writing....
favourite weather?
soft sun touching your your face with a gentle wind blowing. just cold enough to wear a thin sweater or hoodie. the wind cools you and the sun warms you.
thank you for tagging me! anyone who wants to do it is welcome to, off the top of my head @christianbalegf @girlredactd @thebendsbyradiohead @magnoliamyrrh but none of you have to <3
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3/4AM — O3-12-2O24 : RANT / RAMBLE ﹐🪶 ˖ overview: im tired of tiktok, want to move to other social media platforms. want to start blogging / journaling on tumblr and love the idea of others doing the same and find it interesting. want to redo my intro post really bad (i bring it up alot.) i want to have the 'average highschool experience', feel alone then ramble about my life a bit. talk about how i am rambling and how i dont expect anyone to read it. im tired of having a fucked up sleep schedule and being unstable. then an ending note talking about journaling on tumblr again, moodboards, the fucking intro post again, and want to work on a tagging system. (im really fucking tired oh my god)
[ me-core / aesthetic of my brain atm ] : images frm Pinterest
im really debating on just leaving tiktok for now, the algorithm fucking sucks especially right now. its boring as fuck and im not even seeing stuff of my interests or my mutuals ☠️ its all the same 3 god damn audios of content i wouldnt ever like want or expect to see??? ive mentally wanted to stop using shit like tiktok and move to using tumblr more and other sites like spacehey and stuff. i really need to redo spachey too. because while tumblr still has an algorithm ofc its alot less addicting and doesnt absolutely wreck your attention span like tiktok has for me. i feel like not using tiktok other than for occasional posts and sending things to / receiving things from friends would make me a bit more productive as well as being better for me mentally. while it wont magically cure me from any mental illness itll make me feel better and probably help my stress a bit.
i really love the idea of using a tumblr blog to post whatever i want and like use as a digital diary of some kind,, its super fun imo. i had an old acc but it felt like more of a chore to keep up with so now it’s abandoned. speaking of that blog i may make a post being like “hey, im [here] now!!” because i had some neat mutuals there. i think its really neat to see people post about their day and share things they like and reblog everything that catches their eye yk! that may just be a me thing.
i want to redo my intro post a bit, because idk im a bit unhappy with it. (dont be surprised if i edit it mid-writing this or before i post this..) i really love to write but i havent had much motivation at all. i typically love researching my interests and taking notes on them but recently i havent been able to no matter how much i want to, maybe this diary / blogging kind of thing will help me get back on my feet with that :)
i really dont have a ‘yearning’ for anything at the moment, besides having the experience of like everyone else my age. idk how (hahaha) corny that may sound but like for background, im online schooled due to mental and physical disabilities, i dont have many friends online or in person, i rarely see anyone, and i live with my dad and see my mom sometimes and dont really have family outside of that. the family i do have i dont get along with very well or theyre distant (physically or emotionally.) the family i really consider is my dad, because hes always there for me, and my friend micah, but he lives like 9 hours away from me like a LOSER (ily bffie.) im a big believer on chosen family and he is that chosen family. ok i got sidetracked, what im saying is i have no social life really, dont have a place to get a social life (school), and cant really connect with people no matter how i try to. i want to live life like how i see in teen life films or tiktoks of people vlogging with their friends, hell id kill to even have an irl bestfriend to be around. i do have irl friends, and i do have close friends, but i dont see them often or have the personal connection of a mutual best-friend feeling. my dads probably my best friend but i need someone my age lmfao.
this post will be so long that no one will read it i garuntee but also i dont mind?? im not gonna spill my guts like someone wont read this but im not gonna act like i have a large audience. this will just be a nice thing to look back on and keep up unless i anxiously delete it whenever i look back on it (maybe in the morning)
im really tired of waking up at 3-4pm right now, but i cant sleep earlier than 5am no matter what i do. and if i manage to fall asleep at 2am or something i wake up an hour later or wake up at 4-5am panicking for some reason. i havent been to therapy in forever, my therapist is like not doing her job as well as id like and i have no doctor other than my pediatrician who doesn’t understand what im talking about ever!!
i just made this post and thats kinda what led to all of this ranting and wanting to write and shit. im sorta just tired of alot of social media and would love to find myself in other ways and use other forms of social media to share those things even though tumblr is a bit more dead than some things :) im gonna end this one here but if i write another tonight or early tomorrow (like the afternoon same day but it’s tomorrow to me) dont be surprised i love rambling to myself. now i think im going to make this post look cute, post it, redo my pinned intro, work on featured tags/a tagging system, then go from there ^^’
#cain.txt#oversharing on the internet is fun!#;;#blogging#blog#ranting#ramble#rambling#rant#diary#digital diary#diary entry#my diary#tumblr diary#tumblr blog#yapping#autism#bpd#neurodivergent
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☆ Day 3 - Prince Albedo ☆
-> albedo x fem!reader | royalty!au
-> fluff, comfort
-> warnings: minor injuries, minor cursing
-> “pick a prince” masterlist
a/n: god i’m sorry this is so late, y’all know ive been goin through it this week fr. also, does this au have running water? do they not? i don’t know so apologies for plot holes
edit sorry the taglist really messed up life is NOT going the way i need it to rn
“You need to take this a little more seriously, Y/n.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, looking up from your book at your father, who stood with his hands on his hips in front of you. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Your suitors have been here for three days now and I haven’t seen you with a single one of them. I’m giving you a choice on who you will marry, most princesses don’t get that luxury.”
“I didn’t ask to be married off to a stranger in the first place.” You huffed. “I also was with Prince Zhongli at the market, and I went stargazing with Prince Childe, so I havent’ been sitting there doing nothing. I’m at least trying to play along in your weird little game to sell me off.”
You father rolled his eyes. “You were taught since you were little that you’d need to marry someone to rule this kingdom. You knew this was coming. Now get up and do what you’re supposed to. Choose a suitor before I choose one for you.”
You watched as your father left, glaring at him from above your book. Who was he to suddenly barge in and tell you what to do? He acted like he was the king or something...
SIghing, you began reading again. You’d go find another boy after you finished. This book focused mainly on the various types of plants and herbs found in your kingdom, as well as their uses. It was one of the only informational books in the castle’s library that you hadn’t read yet, since you plans had been interrupted by a certain arranged marriage situation that’s been going on. You were about halfway through the section of a burn-treating herb when a flash of hair caught your eye. It happened so quickly that you nearly missed it, waving it off as a staff of the castle. But, none of the staff had platinum blonde hair...
“Hello? Do you need something?” You closed your book and stood up wearily, making your way to where you saw it.
“Um, no thank you, just searching for something...” A polite voice answered.
“Well, could I help you find it? I know this library like the back of my hand.”
At that, a head full of blonde popped out from around the corner of one of the bookshelves. HIs turquoise eyes glimmered at your offer. “Really? Thank you- I’ve been trying to create this little concoction for cold resistance and it’s missing something, I just don’t know what. The ingredients I use in my kingdom seem to be... lacking in yours.”
The moment the prince mentioned cold resistance, an idea popped into your head. “I was just reading a book that mentioned herbs that may help with that! Come with me prince... A-Alfred?”
“Albedo.”
“Come with me, Prince Albedo, I’ll show it to you!”
☆ ☆ ☆
You relaxed on the wooden stool in the kitchen, sitting beside Albedo. He was standing over a cutting board, pressing the flat side of a knife into the stems, leaves, and flower of a plant. You had helped him find this plant using the book you were reading, accompanying him into the forest on the outskirts of the kingdom to pick a few of them. It took hours- every time something new caught Albedo’s eye, he had to venture over to it and make a note to come back later and study it. In those hours, you began getting hungry. You’d skipped breakfast again this morning and your lack of food was making you feel a little weak. Nonetheless, you pushed on, interested in the work that Albedo was doing.
“Princess,” Albedo called, not looking up at you, “Can you please light the fire and get some water boiling? It’s the last little step to mix this all together.”
You nodded and grabbed a match, crouching down at the cooking pot across the room. Soon enough, the fire was lit and the water in the pot was starting to heat up. You stoked the fire a few more times before deciding to stand back up. Suddenly, your vision blacked out and your knees collapsed, forcing you back down onto the ground. You put your hands down in front to catch your fall, only registering that your right one swiped across the flames near you after it had happened. You hissed, in pain from the burn and from your dizziness.
Hearing the ruckus, Albedo turned around to see you crumbled on the floor, clutching your hand. “Princess!”
You smiled at him, holding back tears, trying not to worry the prince. “All good! Just, uh, lost my balance for a moment.”
“Bull.” He grabbed your wrist and helped you up, carefully avoiding the angry red burn on your hand as he pulled you towards the sink.
Placing your hand under the running water, Albedo told you to stay and began opening random drawers and cabinets, hoping to find bandages or herbs to help. You sniffled, holding your hand under the water and dreading the moment you had to take it out, knowing that the moment you did the burn would begin to ache once more. Albedo finally found a burn-healing salve in a container near the bottom shelves and quickly grabbed it, rushing over to you and opening the jar. He held his hand out.
“This will hurt when I’m putting it on, but it’ll feel so much better afterwards.” The prince searched your eyes, his own cloudy with worry as he waited for your “okay”. When you nodded, he began putting on the salve.
The next few minutes were silent as Albedo worked. He was focused on your hand occasionally mumbling something about how you should be more careful and whatnot, but you weren’t quite paying attention. You were practically captivated by the prince in close proximity, admiring him with little shame. Albedo’s features were borderline angelic. His hair rivaled the clouds that the gods resided amongst, and his eyes- oh my gods, his eyes- they took your breath away. Especially when he looked up into your own, his hands holding your injured one gently.
Neither of you looked away.
Albedo reached up and caressed his thumb across your cheekbone, murmuring a small “Don’t cry”. You felt chills erupt in his finger’s wake. You smiled.
“You made it all better.”
“I’m glad. I’ve never seen you hurt before, but after that I know I’d do everything in my power to never see you like that again.”
Your heart caught in your throat, and for the first time this week, you decided to be a little more serious about this whole love thing.
taglist: @xenia-cenia @murder-and-mistflowers @osmiumtrash @rebeljustforkicks137 @heisenwurst @writingmi @dilucs-thighs @wiseeggspickleslime @cotton—candy1709 @emerald-smile @luckymuddypaw @mercurysmaiden @Violeteyesofevergarden @darthsokaaa @aaaaalona @lehra @peepeles @hopeless-path @chaiteabeebee @murderisfantastic @janieatlanta @naritecs @a-cutiecatie @hanniejji @optimestick @trashy-mctrash @9ineine @akatherinque @spqcebun @milkxteaa @spooderkat @4everanimesimp @asheseiler @hnpriscilla @m0na-l0ver @welcometomypersonalhell098 @simplysm1le @lumi-ying @y2ndere @2-player-game @craptainlou @myheadcanonz @Piprapie @calicolaaaa @traveler-lumine @starrysurprise @anime-read-write-repeat @mercuryxx257 @kiitsumi @mochidabells @thefoxsleeps @josmottt @justrandomselfships
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#fic blog#x reader#fanfiction#writing#genshin impact#lay writes#genshin impact x reader#pick a prince#albedo#albedo x reader#albedo genshin impact#genshin albedo#event
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neighborly things - sokka x fem!reader
summary: reader can’t make things for shit. thankfully, she has a cute and crafty neighbor willing to help her.
a/n: im so sorry lmao. i have requests and i have 2 series that havent been updated in like a month but sometimes i just need to write a stupid little oneshot to get back in the writing mood. i did this in an hour
im not a screwdriver expert so dont come at me if some of this info is wrong lmao
wc: 1.6k
warning(s): some cursing but otherwise pure fluff. also i didnt proofread im SORRY im pretty sure they laugh grin and smile like 200 times
-
“Dammit!”
Anyone unfortunate enough to have a place near you during this time would have heard the phrase on more than twenty occasions, and it wasn’t even noon yet. You had gotten the parts in the mail to put together a new dresser a couple days ago, and had finally decided to take on the task. You didn’t know if it was because you were inexperienced with furniture or just lacked basic comprehension skills, but it was proving to be no less than Herculean.
You threw the screwdriver at the wall and fell back to the floor as you let your arms sprawl out above you. You had been trying to screw in a part for no less than thirty minutes, and if a miracle didn’t happen right about now, you were going to lose your mind.
Your head snapped towards the door when she heard a knock, and your brows creased. “God?” You muttered as you got up, wondering if you had actually thought a miracle into existence.
You weren’t greeted by a deity when you opened the door, but the man standing in front of you was pretty damn close. With ocean blue eyes, hair pulled back in a ponytail with shaved sides, and toned arms, he was a sight to behold. But you had no idea why he was in front of your door.
“Hey, are you okay?” He questioned, genuine concern in his tone.
“Um, yeah, why?” You were trying to rack your brain for any memory of this guy — because you knew you would remember him if you had seen him before — but to no avail. “Also, who are you and why are you here?”
“Right,” he chuckled. “My name’s Sokka. I’m your neighbor; I live—” he gestured at the door just next to your place, “—over there. Moved in a couple weeks ago, so that’s probably why you don’t know me. I’ve just been hearing a lot of cursing and loud noises coming from your place, so I figured I would stop in and see what was going on.”
“Oh. That’s.. very considerate of you, Sokka. I’m just…” you sighed and chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all. “I’m just trying to put together a dresser, and it’s not going well at all. That latest sound you heard was the culmination of my rage. I threw a screwdriver at the wall.”
“Yeah, that’ll do it,” he laughed. “Listen. I don’t wanna intrude on you or anything, but I happen to be pretty good at putting things together. I had to do a lot of furniture construction when I first moved in, plus I’m the one all my friends call when they need help with putting anything together. I could probably help you with whatever’s troubling you.”
“Are you serious?”
“Oh, no. I just go door to door joking around with people, asking if they need help with their furniture, sometimes I ask if their refrigerator is running? It really gets a kick out of them.”
You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly and stepped aside so he could enter your apartment. “Thank you so much, Sokka. I’ve read the instructions a million times, I seriously don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
He crouched down and picked up the manual, turning to a dog-eared page and skimming over the instructions. He pointed at the screwdriver you had thrown against the wall and glanced back at you. “Is that the one you’ve been using?”
You closed and locked the door behind him then walked over to the wall, picking up the unfortunate victim of your anger and spinning it in your hands. “Yeah, why?”
“Do you know what kind it is?”
“Um.. maybe? God, I don’t know. I think it’s a Phillip’s head?”
Sokka laughed and shook his head, holding up the manual so you could see it. “That’s where you’re going wrong. You need a Pozidriv for these screws — they’re similar enough that anyone can make a mistake.”
You stared at Sokka in complete amazement — apparently, your savior lived next door, and he came in the form of a handsome guy with basic knowledge on putting furniture together. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you said as you walked over and took the booklet from himl. You flipped through it a couple times and read over the part, shaking your head in disbelief.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” you repeated, louder this time. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get that thing to- to work, to screw, to— whatever you call it?”
“It’s actually to—”
“Thirty minutes!” You interrupted, earning a small chuckle from Sokka. “Thirty damn minutes that I have been trying to get that screw in, and it’s all because I was using the wrong screwdriver. Why would they make screwdrivers that are so similar but aren’t interchangeable?!”
He shrugged and held up his hands. “Don’t ask me — I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. But like I said; this dresser might fall apart if you keep using this thing. I actually have a Pozidriv back at my place, I can go get it and we can finish this up together.”
“God, that would be the biggest help,” you admitted. “But I don’t wanna take up your time — I don’t know how I would even repay you.”
“I’m doing this because I want to help you,” he said. “You don’t have to repay me. Think of it as… as a neighborly thing.”
“A neighborly thing?” you repeated with a laugh. “Well, if you’re offering, I’m definitely not going to refuse.”
“I am offering,” Sokka winked. “And unless you want to be at this for another three days, I think you should take that offer.”
You pretended to deliberate over it before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I’ll let you help me. I mean, really you should be thanking me for this brilliant opportunity to, um.. hone your skills.”
He laughed, a brilliant sound that made your heart sing, and nodded as he went back to the door. “Thank you so much for letting me put together this dresser. Truly, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Then I’m happy to be of assistance.”
Sokka grinned then unlocked and opened the door. “I’ll be right back, then we can get started.”
-
Once he got back, the two of you got to work. The next three hours passed so quickly as you and Sokka talked about everything from the work you did to people in your lives (no girlfriend, thankfully), to exchanging stories — even the silence, though rare, was comfortable.
Sokka pushed the last drawer into its place then clapped his hands as he stood up, admiring the fruits of your labor. “And that’s it! We’re done.”
“Wait, we’re done? Already?” You set down the instruction manual and stood up as well, backing up to Sokka’s position to see what he saw. “Wow, that looks.. that looks just like the picture. We are good at this! Well, you’re really good at this, I’m good at keeping you entertained. But still!”
You held your hand up for a high five and he laughed, but not without meeting it with a satisfying clap.
“It does look pretty good,” he admitted. “And not only do you have a brand new, fully functioning dresser, you also had the priceless experience of spending three hours with the neighbor you know nothing about.”
“That’s not true,” you countered. “I know that you’re really good at putting things together, you’re a genius when it comes to anything math or science, and you hate blueberries.”
Sokka snickered and brushed his hands off on his jeans. “That’s everything there is to know.”
“I dunno, Sokka. You seem like a pretty interesting guy.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s not every day that someone offers to put together a whole dresser just because they feel bad.”
“Well—” he tore off a blank part of the instruction manual and picked up a spare pen from the counter, then put it up against the wall as he scribbled something on it. Sokka put the pen down and handed the slip of paper to you with a smile. “If you ever need any more help with furniture, then call me.”
You could feel your cheeks heat up as you took the paper. Your fingers brushed ever so slightly as you took the slip of paper, and you decided to just go for it. You bit back a grin and tried to sound as innocuous as possible. “And if I want to get to know you beyond the blueberries?”
Sokka laughed and leaned against the doorframe. “Definitely call me.”
“Great.”
The two of you smiled at each other like idiots for way too long before a notification from his phone broke the silence. He jumped from the sudden noise and dug his phone out of his pocket, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, my sister just texted me and I gotta get over to her place.” Sokka started towards the door then paused and turned around. “I actually had a lot of fun doing this, though. I’ll see you around, yeah?”
“Yeah.” You knew you had that same smile on your face, but it just wouldn’t go away. His energy was contagious. “Definitely.”
“Great.” He winked at you one last time then left, closing the door behind him, and finally snapping you out of your spell.
You leaned against the dresser and stared at the slip of paper in your hands, committing the number to memory.
You were definitely going to take him up on that offer.
-
perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin
#avatar the last airbender#avatar#atla#avatar the last airbender fic#atla fic#avatar fic#sokka#sokka atla#sokka avatar#sokka fic#sokka x reader#sokka x reader fic#sokka x you#sokka x y/n#avatar x reader#avatar the last airbender x reader#sadie writes
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“Do you feel the same?” // d.m.
derek morgan x reader
requested: for @anxiousblanketqueen ’s bday writing challenge!
word count: 1.7k
warnings: slightly angsty, but overall just fluff & flirting
A/N: okay, first ever derek morgan fic & I’m not sure how I feel about it. I like it, but at the same time I feel like it’s just not as good as it could be, you know? in all fairness, i am still trying to get through the series so I don’t have a total grasp at his character yet, but I tried. let me know what you think? It’d be so deeply appreciated 💗 anyways, I have another fic for Jill’s writing challenge that I’m thinking I’ll put out either thursday or friday?! It’s a spicier one so that’s exciting. keep an eye out for it! Xx
taglist: tagging my general taglist once again - if you don’t read for criminal minds, just ignore this. Also, if you still havent filled out my new taglist form, please do! Xx
general taglist - @accioalix @captaincactusjuice @inglourious-imagines @keepawaythenargles @lemongrasshoney @onyourgoddamleft @valiantobservationkitty @concepcion @eternallyvenus @fandomwhoress @fleurho @fredweasleyzwh0re @harleigh110 @hufflepuffflowers @hufflrpuffforfred @i-miei-amori @littlemisswitt @sammy-the-gay @sightiff @starstruckgranger @teenwolfbitches2 @watermelonsugar2810 @harrypotterwifey @ioverslane99 @darthwheezely @callmelilone @teawiththeweasleys @softlyqoos @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog @msmimimerton @perfectlysane24 @mischievous-queen @bunnyboo7 @grandeoptimist @daddystevee @slytherinxhunter @streetfighterrichie @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @isthereanymorejello @karushinekomiya @p0gue420 @hogwartslut @sebby-staan @fredshmeasley
General CM - @anxiousblanketqueen @your-hispanichufflepuff @yikesyikesyikes95 @livvysnaps
It’s unusually quiet as everyone boards the jet. While the case had ended as good as one can, it had been a long and extremely tiring ordeal. You’re pretty sure that everyone is in agreement that you all need a day off to rest.
However, the best you can get at the moment is to try to get some peace on the flight back, and maybe if your lucky, get an hour or so of sleep.
Unfortunately, you are not one of the lucky ones.
“How’re you doing?” Derek asks as he settles himself into the seat across from you.
“Fine. Tired, but I think we all are.” You smile, drawing a chuckle from the man.
“You got that right, y/n.”
You nod lazily as you take in his appearance. He tries to hide it, but you can see how tired he is in his eyes and in how his shoulders sag.
“Enjoying the view, sweet girl?”
“Sure,” you scoff with a smile, eyes automatically rolling in their sockets.
Ever since you started at the BAU, you and Derek have had a flirtatious relationship with each other. It started with him throwing flirty comments your way to see you get all flustered and annoyed, but as soon as you started throwing them back, it’s become more of a game to see who could be more flirtatious. So far neither of you have yet to win.
“You know, you scoff and roll your eyes, but I think - no, I know - that you secretly do like me.” He smirks, loving as you shake your head and try to bite back a smile.
“Yeah right, Morgan. If that’s what helps you sleep at night.”
At that, he lets out a hearty laugh which you hate to admit sends butterflies to your stomach. In an attempt to hide just how much he gets to you still, you pull out a book and flip to the page you left off on.
~.~
It’s been nearly an hour and a half since you’ve started reading and Derek hasn’t been able to stop admiring you. He tries not to make it obvious, but he can only pull his attention from you for a few minutes at most.
In all honesty, he didn’t want to stop admiring you. If he could, he be more than happy to just watch you all day, every day.
You’ve only become more sleepy since boarding the plane and reading. Curling yourself up into a small ball, and yawning continuously for the last half hour, It’s impossible for Derek to not find you adorable.
“Derek, I can feel you looking at me.”
He can’t help but smirk as you don’t even look up from your book. You don’t even try and yet you’re stunning.
He’s adored you since the moment you first walked through the BAU doors four years ago. He didn’t realize then that the beautiful woman walking through the doors was going to be his teammate, but it’s been an enjoyable four years ever since.
While the nature of this job may be dark at times, he only needs to look at you to find light. Not only are you unbelievably attractive, kind, and empathetic, but your so brilliant and skilled at so many things - the job in particular. Out of all the reasons he could hate the job, he would always say how great it is as long as he got to work with you.
“Yeah? And?”
“Can you stop?” You question, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“I can, but I’m not sure I want to.”
“And why’s that?”
He smiles, a little chuckle leaving his lips as you finally look up at him.
“You’re really nice to look at. Wouldn’t want to deprive myself of such a beauty,” he winks.
“Oh good god, Derek. You sure are laying it on thick tonight.” You groan, wondering how you found yourself here.
It’s not that you didn’t like his flirting and sweet comments, but you just worried what it all meant at times. He obviously was flirty with Penelope, but it was obvious that they were the best of friends. With you, you couldn’t tell. Maybe it’s because you couldn’t tell what you wanted it to be. Either way, it scared you.
“I’m just telling you the truth, darling.”
You shake your head, trying to hide a smile as he watches you. You don’t need to fall for him. You don’t need to fall for your teammate more than you already have.
It’s easy to find yourself swooning to Derek’s words, and even easier to find yourself falling for him, but you needed to stop it. Being in love with a teammate will only make things difficult, if not ruin things completely.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, not able to ignore his almost love-sick stare.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re in love or something.”
“Maybe I am.” He shoots back, thoroughly shocking you. It’s hard to keep quiet when you had nearly choked on air.
You try to keep a calm façade, but you’re certain he can read the panic in your eyes.
“Derek...”
“No, I know. I know it’s hard being in love with someone doing this job, even harder when it’s someone on the team, but I can’t help it, y/n.”
You look around the jet to find everyone either sleeping or preoccupied with their own entertainment. You sigh, glad that no one is overhearing this.
“Derek...what do you want me to do?” You sigh, heart sinking as your mind runs a mile a minute.
“Like you said, it’s hard enough being in love with someone while doing this job, let alone that person being someone on the team.”
He sighs, frowning as he falls back into his chair, not really sure what to say. He knew to never share his true feelings with you, but he got so caught up in the back and forth that he couldn’t stop himself from spilling.
“Do you feel the same?”
You look at him, making contact with his beautifully dark eyes. You sigh softly, reading the emotions swirling behind his irises.
“I think so.”
“You think so?”
“Derek, it’s easy to fall for you when you’re you. You’re so physically and mentally strong, you’re unbelievably knowledgeable, you’re talented in so many ways...” You start, watching as he watches you with his full attention.
“You’re funny, and sweet, and so much fun to be around. You’re a natural leader with the charisma to match, and I swear you know how to light up a room without trying. You make people around you feel comforted, and you never break your promises. You’re undeniably amazing...”
“But?” He asks, still watching you.
“But I’ve tried so hard to not let myself fall for you because of the risk it would be, and if you know anything about me, I know awfully well how to put up walls...especially when it comes to my heart.”
“God, I know. You take on everyone else’s pain and sell yourself out to the very last string, but god forbid if anyone try to do the same for you.” He chuckles, shaking his head at the situation.
“I’ve seen you, y/n. I know you’re friends with everyone on this jet right now, but I’ve seen how you don’t let a single one of them help you when you really need it. I suppose that’s one of the things that I came to like about you.”
“What do you mean?”
You watch as he chuckles, shaking his head, before meeting your gaze.
“I love how you’re willing to help everyone else, but I want to be the one to get through to you that you need someone to help you. I want to be that person who helps you when you won’t let anyone else.”
You bite back a smile as you take in his words. Out of everyone, you have always felt the most comfortable asking Derek for help. That doesn’t mean you ever have though.
You have to admit though that it’d be nice knowing someone is on your side and willing to comfort you like you comfort others.
“You’re making me fall for you again, Derek Morgan.” You huff playfully.
“Sweet girl, I’ve already completely fallen. The least I can do now is to catch you.”
You shake your head, trying your hardest not to let that smile break, but it’s impossible when it’s derek.
He smiles himself as he watches you, biting your lip although the smile has already taken over your face. God what he would give to see that smile directed at him every day. Just knowing that he can cause you to smile that sincerely, and that big, has his heart melting.
“I’d love to be with you, Derek, but I think we both know neither of us can step away from the job. We’d have to be able to put our relationship on pause whenever we’re on a case...”
“I know. Trust me I know. I’m more than willing to try it though if you are.”
“Okay then.”
He smiles, watching as a small blush heats up your cheeks, smirking when he gets an idea.
“Y/n y/l/n, when this jet lands, would you give me the honor of taking your pretty face on a date?”
You can’t help but chuckle as you nod. Only Derek would ask you out on a date in the goofiest of tones, but you can't say you mind it. You’ve always liked just how happy he makes you.
“I suppose I will.” You smile, chuckling as he punches the air in excitement before leaning over to kiss your cheek.
“This will be the best decision of your life, I swear it. I love you so much, y/n.”
“I love you too, Derek. More than you probably realize.”
He smiles, placing a kiss to your forehead before scooting into the seat beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You chuckle but can’t stop the smile from gracing your features as you pull your book back up to your face to read, already feeling so much safer - and happier - in derek’s arms.
#JTR23#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#derek morgan#derek morgan x reader#derek morgan fluff#derek morgan angst
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Fic Writer Questions
i was tagged by @cherry-toxic and @gideongrace ty both 💕🥰💕
How many works do you have on AO3?
15
which is a relatively small number but sometimes im still like, holy shit i finished 15 whole fics lmao
What's your total AO3 word count?
68,299 (time to post a 701 word fic and then never post again i guess)
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
well this is about to get mildly embarrassing lmfao. ive only got harry potter & stranger things fics on my ao3 and tumblr but if you want a full list, as a teenager i posted a shitty borderlands self-insert fic on quizilla, and hiccup/jack frost fic on ff.net.
and if u count fics that never got finished or published anywhere i dabbled in teen wolf, supernatural, dragon age, star wars, left 4 dead 2, skyrim, good omens, the mcu, buffy, wynonna earp, plus like, general disney/dreamworks crossover fic. and i started writing shameless fics recently, we'll see if i actually finish any. aaaand...i think that's it?
so...15?
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Wait for you, Burn for You
2. Find Our Way
3. Something to Hold
4. Room for One More Troubled Soul
5. Don't Know What I'm Gonna Do (About This Feeling Inside)
all harringrove fics except #4, which is probably only on the list because it's been on ao3 the longest lol
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
oh god, i used to. i did when i was starting out, but then i just. i get self-conscious about what to actually say & leave shit to sit for too long. and suddenly ive got like 100 comments i havent replied to and i want to respond to them so bad but ive left them so long i feel weird about it now and it's a problem 😥
i want to start responding to them again, and every time i get a new one i tell myself im gonna but i never do cuz im fuckin awkward lmao
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
i......don't really do angsty endings. like, most of my fics end with smooches and/or love confessions lmao, i don't like leaving things off sad, even if it starts depressing as hell.
maybe this one? it still ends soft but without resolving the thing billy was angsting about, so.
Do you write crossovers? If so what's the craziest one you've ever written?
hahahhha.............i don't really do them anymore, but i already said i was into the whole animation movie crossover thing, so. yeah, i did lol. it was when i was in high school so of course i did one that was like, every disney character ever and they're going to school together. which really isn't that crazy a concept, but it was a lot of movies to write in so maybe that counts
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
nahh, not rly. i don't get around enough to attract anti attention lol, tho i did get one of those "👎" comments when someone was going around doing that, which lbr, is so low effort it barely counts 😂
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
yea sometimes. i do get the occasional horny idea lmao. mostly "what if touch-starved character + tenderness" or someone having lots of feelings while they're fucking. someone is usually billy lbr. i've also got a couple "what if someone got tied up and treated right" ideas but i don't think i've actually published any of those lmao
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
don't think so?
Have you ever had a fic translated?
i have not
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yea, kinda! a collab with a friend of mine for fun
What's your all time favourite ship?
i...don't know? i get emotionally invested in characters more than the relationships themselves lol. i don't even know what ship i've been invested in for a long time, most of the shit i shipped as a kid i don't give a fuck about anymore lol.
except fuffy, actually. i've always shipped buffy/faith
and if we wanna go with fandom i've actively stuck with the longest it'd be harringrove. cuz ive been here and writing shit for yall for over a year now when i usually would've cycled thru a couple fixations by now lol
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
that's a mean question lmao how dare you. i honestly don't know, i have a lot of wips and i want to finish all of them. i know i won't but there isn't one specifically that seems less likely than the others so idk
What are your writing strengths?
uhhhhh.....i mean i've been told that my characterization is good? like, ppl being able to picture the actual characters when they're reading n stuff, so that's nice. and i could write introspection forever, u don't even know man, i get in the zone. i love getting in a character's head and picking apart their emotional state
What are your writing weaknesses?
writing dialogue really trips me up because i get picky about word choice lmao. i can be writing uninterrupted for twenty minutes cuz it's all a character's inner monologue but the second they gotta speak out loud im sittin there like ok what words sound natural and how much would they be willing to say etc. etc. suddenly it's an hour later and i've written three lines of dialogue. plus i tend to edit as i go so i'm always stopping and going back and rewriting stuff instead of just finishing the damn story
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
no thoughts head empty
lmao for real tho idk? i mean there's that one trope, when someone says nice stuff in a language the other person doesn't speak because they're pining and not sure if they're allowed to say it outright, that shit's cute. im sure all the google translated dialogue has been annoyin as shit for native speakers lmfao but yeah
What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
probably harry potter but i literally have no idea. i started writing fic in my early teens and that time of my life is a big fuckin blur lmao
What's your favourite fic you've written?
ngl i think my fav fic is one of the multi-chapter wips i haven't published lmao
BUT. if i gotta pick something yall have read, this one. just a lil guy. plant dad billy and domesticity. it's cute and i like it. maybe also this fic that i wrote for valentine's day. i wrote basically the whole thing in one day and i was really proud of myself lmao, and i just really like headcanoning backstory for billy & that fic is rly just about him growing up, so
tagging @rvspberryjvm @wingedbears @paperbodiesamongthestars @platypan
if yall wanna! 💕
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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)
ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.
1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?
The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.
As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.
4. Link your three favorite fics right now.
OMGG okok
@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.
@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn
@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.
fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks
i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum
5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?
Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.
When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.
9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.
@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.
@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.
@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.
10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?
Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA
Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka
Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.
17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?
aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”
23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?
Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.
24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?
The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”
28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?
I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.
I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.
Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?
30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.
AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH
Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?
Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”
34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?
None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.
Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.
As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO
38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?
I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.
It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.
39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?
I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.
Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA
40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?
AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO
so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.
Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”
The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.
I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))
ask me shit plz
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FAQ or something
so tumblr mobile wasnt letting people look at my FAQ page, so now have a pinned post mobile users. [you can ask me more questions and i will answer them]
Who are you?
im paradox, i am a homestuck fan who writes blurbs about not homestuck things and edit photos
You edit photos? Like James Fridman?
unfortunately yes, but im not nearly as good as james fridman, i dont edit real photography, i edit shitposts in this free program called paint.net with the tag #paradoxedits, please send requests i legitmately have no ideas on my own.
You write blurbs? Like [insert famous writer here]
unfortunately yes, but i write stupid things, ill probably post them here from time to time, and tag them with #paradoxblurbs, you can send in requests for these too, but unless its one of my favorite ships or character A character B stuff, dont expect me to write it with your OCs, or whatever characters you ask for to begin with.
I’ve heard you like homestuck? favorite ships? spacetime, spacetime, spacetime, spacetime, spacetime, spacetime, grimdorks, rosemary
Do you do things besides editing photos and writing blurbs?
i work on fnf mods for people and roleplay or something.
You Roleplay? Explain.
yes, i do, in pms only, only with canon homestuck characters, and probably only my favorite ships, well, two of them. i am terrible at roleplaying rose or kanaya, or jade, or anyone who isnt dave or john. maybe sollux.
FNF Mods? Will you program my mod based on [insert stick figure here]
depends on how much needs to be done, if you ask for 30 new mechanics, leave, actually stay keep enjoying my content but dont pm me asking for something insane, i program in kade engine.
Do you charge money for your work?
no
Marital Status?
what are you? the irs? fyi, single.
Have you used tumblr before?
oh god is it that obvious that i havent?
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change of plans javier pena x reader
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this is my first time writing for javi so please be kind lol. i wrote this about a week ago after i started narcos but i only just finished season one and havent gotten into two yet. i do have more ideas and prompts for him though so hopefully it gets better
Song: I'm bad at life by falling in reverse
tag list: @cynic-spirit
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I bounced my leg nervously under the table as we ate. Looking to javier every once in a while as he read over the newspaper in his hand. All I could think about was the damn pregnancy test hiding in my makeup bag in his medicine cabinet. I had just finished washing my hands when he had gotten home from work and didn't have the chance to see the results. It was killing me. Part of me wanted to excuse myself and go look but I was worried he'd catch on. After all, it had only been twenty minutes and he'd come in the door before I was even out of the bathroom. It was suspicious to say the least. I breathed deeply as I tapped the fork against my lip, my eyes making their way to the wall behind him.
"How was work?"
I asked, not looking to him as he perked up at the sound of my voice.
"Oh good, you weren't talking and I was afraid you were mad at me."
He sighed out, a smile making its way to his face. I tried my best to smile back but took a bite so it would seem more believable.
"Nope, just thinking."
I said and be raised a brow. Oops.
"About what?"
Shit.
"The wedding."
I said and be let out a nervous laugh.
"Still planning?"
He asked and I nodded.
"Only just."
I said and he looked back to me confused.
"What do you mean? I thought you said you knew exactly what you wanted?"
He inquired and I shrugged, putting the fork down.
"I thought I did but I was going through magazines earlier with roxy and she made a very valid point that I should ask your opinion first. Ya know, before making any decisions. It is both of our wedding after all."
He looked worried for a second.
"You told her about us?"
He asked and I shook my head.
"No, I just told her I accidently got it in the mail and wanted to know if she wanted to go through it with me. But we got to talking and she said that if she had to plan a wedding she would want her future spouse to be by her side helping make every decision and I think she was right. We should both be doing this."
He reached across the table and took my hand in his.
"You know I want this to be perfect for you. All I care about is you being happy. Hell, you know id do this in a courthouse tomorrow if you asked me to."
He said and I could feel my face go flush, sending him a genuine smile.
"I love you javier pena. So damn much."
I said, looking up at him as he stood, coming to me and kissing me lightly before heading to the kitchen for more food.
"I love you too Hermosa."
He said, back to me. I smiled to myself for a second before feeling sick.
"I'll be back."
I said, running to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, and falling to the floor in front of the toilet. I coughed out as I spilled my guts. Aaaand we're back to why I took the test earlier. God I wanted this to be over already. I had been lucky the past three or four days that every time I was sick it had been while javi was at work. Guess things were quick to change.
"You okay?"
He asked, a soft knock at the door following his words. I breathed deeply as I flushed the toilet.
"Yeah, just go finish dinner and I'll be out in a sec."
I said, hearing him walk away. I closed my eyes tightly before reaching for my toothbrush and running it through my mouth. When it was back in the cup I stared at myself in the mirror.
"Javi, I'm pregnant and we might have to move the wedding date."
I whispered to myself before groaning and rubbing my hands over my face. As they rested against my lips I glanced at the medicine cabinet. I should look. No. I should wait. I shook my head, placing my hands on the sink and stepping back. God why was this so hard. I stood back up, looking over my body in the mirror. What if it's positive? I stood to the side, smoothing my shirt out against my stomach and frowning. Damn, maybe it was positive. Surely I would've noticed even this small change. But then again, was it change? Or have I always looked like this? I shook my head.
"Fuck it."
I said lightly, pulling the cabinet open and snatching my makeup bag off the shelf. I dug into it before pulling the test out, upside down. As I flipped it over I heard the door nob rattle.
"Mi amor, you've been in there for a while. Are you sure everything is alright?"
He asked as I stared at the test in my hand. I didn't know what to do other than look up at him as he pushed the bathroom door open, like a deer in headlights.
"What is that?"
He asked, brows drawn.
"I'm pregnant?"
I said through a nervous laugh, trying to smile in case it would rub off on him. His face fell and I wish I could say it was shocked but I really couldn't read him. He just stood there frozen for a second. After what felt like an hour I flashed the test to him but his gaze didn't leave my own. Then I watched as he turned and walked away from me.
"Javi?"
I asked, following him back out into the living room. He stood in front of the couch, hands perched on his hips.
"Baby talk to me."
I said softly, looking to him a little scared. He huffed, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Javi?"
I tried again and he finally looked to me.
"You're pregnant?"
He asked and I shrugged, tossing the test at him and him catching it against his chest.
"So says the stick."
I torted back, watching him look down at it. Two pale blue lines. He didn't skip a beat before falling into the couch, tucking the stick under his leg as he reached for his pack.
"I need a minute."
He said, lighting the cigarette. I laughed, falling down beside him, hearing the leather creak as it squished beneath me.
"How do you think I feel?"
I asked, dropping my head back and looking over the ceiling.
"We've been so careful."
He said, blowing smoke out into the air and I could feel it burn in my nose.
"I guess not."
I said and he snorted, rubbing his eye with his free fingers.
"What are we gonna do?"
He asked and I deadpanned.
"What are we gonna do?"
I repeated a little angry.
"We can't have a baby."
He said and looked at him in disbelief.
"Why not?! I'm not some hooker you picked up on the street javi."
I hissed out.
"I know."
He said in defense.
"I'm your fiance."
I reminded him.
"I know!"
He called and I froze. He had never risen his voice at. I shook my head.
"Then what is the problem?!"
I yelled back, trying to examine him as he sent me a testing look. I guess I didn't have quite the poker face I thought I did because when he realized I was scared be softened.
"Mi amor,"
He sighed, reaching for my hand.
"I never thought I'd be here again."
He looked to me a little sad, rubbing his thumb in circles.
"I damn near made it to the alter once before but that feels like a lifetime ago. And when I met you I told myself I wasn't gonna do that again. But I'm here anyway."
I lifted his hand and kissed his palm gently.
"I don't want anything to happen to you."
He took the test out from under his leg before sliding into my side. I watched him intently as he looked down to our hands connected.
"I don't want anything to happen to either of you."
He said sliding his other hand gently onto my stomach and I immediately wanted to cry.
"I love you javier."
I said leaning in and kissing him softly. When he pulled away he rested his hand against my cheek.
"We've been keeping our relationship a secret for a year javi. I think it's time to let our friends know we're more than roommates."
I said amused and he laughed, dropping his forehead onto my chest with a sigh.
"I guess Steve can finally stop pestering me, wanting to know if I've done anything with you yet."
I snorted, raking my fingers through his hair.
"What? He didn't believe you when you told him we werent sleeping together?"
He shook his head against me before lifting it and smiling at me.
"Not even a little bit."
I leaned in and kissed him again.
"I think he should've stopped asking after two months, don't you?"
I asked and he snorted.
"Clearly you don't know Steve."
I shook my head in amusement.
"Guess not."
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20 Writer Questions
thanks bae @rayondeneige for the tag :D
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
43
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
276,918
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
published to ao3, 7:
jonerys
star wars
captain swan
anne x gilbert
peter parker x mj
bellarke
deckerstar
but i have a few fics i started within the thrill of watching a new show that i just never posted/finished.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
the ceiling is a blank slate (peter x mj)
walk of unshame (anne x gilbert)
show me the sun (bellarke)
WONDERLAND (jonerys)
a fighter (bellarke)
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i used to not to, but now i do because 1: i always get excited when an author responds to me, 2: feels polite to do so, 3: genuinely want to talk to my readers:)
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i love to write angst but only when there’s good payoff. so theres pretty much always a happy ending for my fics, but id say Cruel Summer from Valentines Week 2020 was pretty bittersweet. Wonderland also has a angsty ending but in a ‘we have alotta feels’ way, not ‘imma tag this with MCD’ way.
7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
as i said above, most of my stuff is happy. but Challenge: Valentine always makes me smile very much.
8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?
someday i would love to, but i dont read them, so i dont think itd come out good lol
9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
oh god yes, my fic just in case. there was war in the whole fandom the whole day because of it. but it really showed me how many lovely people there are in this fandom that helped and stood up for me, including writers ive looked up to since the beginning of my fandom games which was very cool.
10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
ohh yes. havent in a bit, but it is very fun to do so lmao. i start a lot of fics inticipating a big build up to the smut but dont get there lol. usually its more smuff when i write it, but ive been attempting to leave that comfort zone.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i dont think so??
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nah
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
besides bouncing ideas with some people, nope
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
generally, its jonerys--fic wise, fandom wise, etc. but deckerstar is my comfort ship.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
theres a ballet fic ive been working on and forgot about for about a year lmao. im trying to finish all my posted WIPS before working on it someday, so hopefully i will, but yanno
16. What’s your writing strengths?
generally, i love to make the audience feel exactly what the character is feeling, so those kind of descriptions ive gotten good at. but i also am very good at accurate charactization in fics--my goal usually is to stay exactly in their personality. so im good at that kind of complexity.
17. What’s your writing weaknesses?
dialogue definitely, and commas/repetition. drives me insanee.
18. What’s your thought on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?
copying emilies response: fine as long as it serve the character and the story. Daenerys speaks multiple language and that deserve representation.
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
oh god do not make me answer this. jennifer lawerence x josh hutcherson on wattpad circa 2014, age 12. it turned into everlark at least.
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
oooo. i honestly like a few. Completed, Devil’s Cupid, Challenge: Valentine, On My Mind, or a fighter which was a bellarke character arc study. but once Wonderland is done i think itll be my fav.
all my writer followers feel free to do and tag me!
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