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#oh and! they're giving us exactly 12 hours to do it all or else no vaccine for u

iwonderwh0 · 7 months

Text

Toxic codependent coworkers (more like sentimentally attached. I really tried but it didn't turn out toxic, but rather everything but)

(AU where Hank and Connor work as partners for years(or at least months) prior to revolution, and not on deviancy cases)

Despite being an android Connor has apparent lack of respect to Hank's superiority status, and at first it drives Hank nuts. He thinks he must be broken and fills the form for condition tests, but they come back normal, and as Hank finds out he's pretty much the only one having problems in making his android partner listen to his commands. After that Connor becomes even more annoying, as if specifically messing with Hank.

Hank, spends month begging to be partnered with someone else. Finally gets his wish granted and for one case he gets partnered with someone who is actually listening to him with respect and doesn't do or say weird shit. And it feels so off and boring that the next week or even day all he does is quietly asks to get Connor back.

This change made him aware that although sometimes annoying, his work has become much more fun and bearable with the presence of this specific android in it. It actually helps him forget things and distracts him enough from his regular thoughts for him to almost feel like fully-functional human again. Despite how much he hates overtime work, he's now occasionally taking some, especially on some holidays that he couldn't bear the thought of spending alone. This change of character is a bit shocking for everyone to witness, but Connor pretends to not notice, sparing him sarcastic notions this time.

Connor, being an android basically never leaves his work place. He leaves sticky notes on Hank's desk to report to him everything minor that happened in his absence, like overnight. The observations he's sharing aren't exactly worthy of a report, it's just things like "Someone had broken the coffee machine again (can you guess who?)", "That guy who came to report his stolen bike had a living rat in his pocket 🐀", "I've counted 12 spiders in this room alone, do you think I should give them names?"

He does that just out of boredom. He used to message Hank before, but the other threatened to block Connor's number if he keeps messaging him about work in his spare time, so now he's just leaving him notes. Sometimes they're just "Your shirt is ugly today" and Hank goes "How did you know which one I'll be wearing?" to which comes the response "Hank, we both know that they're all ugly"

In Hank's phone Connor is named as "smartass", periodically being renamed into other names. What Hank doesn't know is that Connor is aware of every name change. One time he makes it clear by saying something like "I can't believe I finally got promoted to Connor in your contacts. Not plastic asshole or smartass. I'll miss robot emoji tho."

One time Connor mentions that he charges his battery in the morning before Hank arrives and this fact now consumes his thoughts. So much that one day he shows up an hour earlier just to see that. When he doesn't account for is that Connor is deeply moved by this his decision and is like

"You hate waking up early, but you came here today an hour before your shift starts just to see me? Oh..."

For a moment Hank is embarrassed and half-expects his snarky partner to make fun of it, but instead he's just...so glad to see him it almost makes him feel bad.

Android doesn't rest and Hank can't help but feel kinda bad for him, even though he knows he's just humanizing him and shouldn't bother. Sometimes he's almost certain that he looks tired, but can't really explain what gives him such an impression.

One time Connor fucks up bad. For a regular reason of deciding to do something without being given a command to do so (which in absolute most cases was resulting in their favour before). For all Hank knows, such cases should be reported and usually result in temporary detention. But Connor is an android. He apologies frantically and visibly panics thinking about what it could mean for him. Hank ends up taking all the blame – the report on the case doesn't mention Connor doing anything out of line.

After that Hank can't deny feeling a sense of responsibility for his partner. After deviancy cases started to spread out, every android at the station is required to be tested weekly. As his partner, Hank is required to run those tests on Connor. The really first time results show "deviant".

Hank looks at him for a long moment

"I knew it."

"You're a good detective."

He marks the results as negative in the record. From now on they both keep pretending that everything is as usual. Hank never missed the day of assessment to keep marking "negative" under Connor's deviancy status, but Detroit is becoming more and more unstable. They start to get assigned their first deviancy cases. They let everyone escape and wonder how long they can keep doing this before they're both replaced. One day Connor receives the key to Jericho. Hank encourages him to get the hell out from DPD the same day it happens.

He gives him his gun and some money, they both dispose of his android uniform and Hank helps him to remove his LED. He says to throw it away, but actually saves the LED in his pocket in case it happened to be the only physical reminder he has left. They hug goodbye and part ways.

Hank fills the resign form the next day.

#dbh #dbh connor #dbh hank #detroit become human #platoniconk #Fic ideas that I'll never write #kinda

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miserable-sarah · 2 years

Text

Real

Pairing: Dean x reader

Story multiple parts

Pt1

“Ma'am you said you talked to two FBI agents already?" You ask trying to get all the information

"Yes, they were really nice. Asked some weird questions though."

"Right. Can you please write down their names, everything they asked, and your answers please. My station didn't send out any FBI agents, just me." You hand her a notepad "No need to panic though, I'm sure someone else did and just failed to mention it to us."

"This happens?" She asks skeptical

"Way more often than you think" I chuckle. She nods her head and takes a second. She writes everything down and hands me back the notepad.

"Agent Parker and Agent Stark" You say aloud knowing they're fake names. She nods her head. "Okay great. Thank you" I smile walking away.

You get to the car and shake your head. Now you gotta make a bunch of phone calls and you don't want to do that. These fake agents are messing everything up for you. You roll your eyes and dial a number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Y/n"

"Oh Y/n, what can I help you with?" He asks

"Do you happen to know an Agent Parker and an Agent Stark?" He sighs deeply.

"Yes. What did they do now?"

"Messing with my investigation and my own hunt. They already questioned my main lead."

"I'll call them. Sorry about this"

"Hey if it's okay i'd rather call them"

"Oh yeah sure" He chuckles giving you his number

"Thanks Bobby, talk soon" You hang up. You dial the other number and listen as the phone rings.

"Hello?" A man answers

"Hi, who is this?" You ask

"Uh, you called me" the man chuckles

"Right, right. Is this Agent Parker?"

"Uh, no this is" He pauses "Uh Agent Stark, how can I help you?"

"Take you a minute to look up your own name?" You ask sarcastically

"Uh, what no" He chuckles nervously

"Oh and now you're nervous. Did I catch you?"

"Wh-what. Who is this?"

"This is Y/n. You're butting into my investigation. You need to back off. I can arrest you right now if I wanted to, but that's even more paperwork. So take your show somewhere else."

"Please you wouldn't find me" He says cocky, you scoff.

"Right okay. See the car behind you?" You ask, you see him turn around in the driver seat, you give him a wave. "That's me sweetheart."

"Meet me at the cafe up the road we need to talk" He says before hanging up the phone. You follow him and park beside him.

"What are we doing here, Agent Stark" You tease him, he's cute, green eyes, deep voice.

"Come on" He says walking into the cafe. You get a table and sit down. "Listen my name is Dean. I know this is going to sound crazy but-" You scoff cutting him off and rolling your eyes. "Listen lady I am trying to expl-" You cut him off again

"Excuse me." You shake your head "My name is Y/n I already told you that. And if you're about to give me the whole monsters and ghosts are real, I know. I'm a hunter just like you. This one is personal to me, you need to stay out of my way." You say getting up, Dean put his hand on yours.

"Wait please" You look at him and sit back down "It's personal for me too." He says you can tell he means it because he sounds sad.

"Why?"

"It took my brother."

"When?"

"Last night. We went to the house, we wanted to kill the ghost there and something went wrong. I don't know where he is."

"You didn't call Bobby?" You ask louder than you wanted to.

"Bobby?" He asks confused

"Yes, Bobby would've told you what to do. When exactly did he go missing?"

"Uh, I don't know"

"Dean this is important."

"Okay okay. He went missing at 12 am exactly."

"Okay, we got 4 hours." You say looking at your watch "Lets go" Dean follows you out to your car and gets in, you immediately take off.

"Where are we going?" Dean asks

"Okay so that house has a secret basement, it could be where they took your brother. We need to go there and find out."

"The ghosts took Sam to the basement? No you're wrong I looked all over that house and I went to the basement."

"Dean, you went to the regular basement. There's a secret one. Just trust me on this." Dean looks out the window and stays silent, he was about a half hour from the house. 3.35 hours.

"Call Bobby, put him on speaker." Dean does as you say. "Hey Bobby, it's Y/n, I'm with Dean. They got his brother."

"They got Sam?"

"Yeah, they got him"

"Bobby, I salted and burned all the bodies you told me about, I need you to find anyone else that died in or near that house. Please." You say, you honestly don't know what's doing this.

"I'll try my best." Bobby sighs

"Call me when you get something. Thank you Bobby." We pull up to the house "Okay so either we get Sam out or we're all trapped in there."

"Well lets go for the first one" Dean says

"Agreed" You and Dean enter the house quietly. Dean follows behind you as you lead him down to the basement.

"There's no one here" Dean sighs, you give Dean a look.

"Dean, I know" You open a secret door that's on the wall. "This was built for protection." You say going into the room. You get to the stairs that lead into the secret basement, which is pretty much a bunker.

"Sam" Dean says running over to his brother, he's beaten up pretty bad but other than that he seems pretty good. You close your eyes not wanting to do this but you're gonna have to. You quickly close the door trapping Dean and Sam in there. "What the hell?" You hear Dean yell pounding on the door.

"It's for your safety. Trust me!" You yell to him before leaving. You run out of the house and drive into the woods behind the house. Your phone rings.

"Hey" You answer

"I found out one more person it could be, you're not going to like it"

"My uncle" You say

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"I'm on my way to the bones"

"Sam and Dean?" He asks

"Fine I have them in the bunker. They'll probably be mad at me forever but they'll be fine." Bobby chuckles at you "Bye Bobby" you say before hanging up. you pull up to the graves set in a line. you take a deep breath and start to dig up the grave. After a while you finally hit the coffin. You salt and burn the bones of your uncle. You stare at them as they turn into nothing. You can't believe he's been behind all this. This whole time. You wipe away a tear and get back to the house as quickly as you can. When `you get to the house you unlock the bunker door and find the boys with their guns shooting at a ghost.

"Wait!" You yell stopping them. "She's not going to hurt you." You call out. You step down and step in front of the ghost, you smile tears forming in your eyes. "He's gone. You're safe" Your sister hugs you tightly. It feels just like her.

"Thank you" She says in a whisper

"I'm so sorry I never knew."

"Its okay" She says touching your cheek "I'm free now" She smiles. Tears falling down your cheeks you see her disappear before your eyes. You sniffle and wipe your eyes.

"Sorry I locked you down here. It was for your own safety. I hope you understand" You say walking out of the bunker to leave and sob in your car.

"Wait, you're just going to leave?" Dean calls out. You ignore him and walk outside to your car. "You took me here" He says. You forgot about that.

"I'll call you a cab" You smile before getting in your car. Dean huffs and goes back inside for Sam. You do as you say and call a cab. You drive off and sob thinking about your sister.

After a while you end up at a bar. typical. You sit at the bar and order drinks back to back.

"You know, my sister was grateful" You say to the bartender

"She was?" She asks

"Yeah, she said thank you" You say taking another sip of your drink

"So you changed her dream college's mind, they didn't accept her and she said thank you?" The bartender chuckles "That must be one forgiving sister."

"She is" You smile "She said a year later she never even wanted to go to college just felt like she had to."

"So what does she do now?"

"Uh I don't know"

"You don't talk?" Bartender asks

"No" You down your drink. She fills your cup and nods her head.

"Hey" a voice says sitting next to you, you look over and see Dean.

"Hey" You smile at him "Did not expect to see you here" you chuckle

"So what happened with the house. Thank you"

"You're welcome"

"Do you want to talk about the-" you cut him off

"No"

"I understand" he nods his head "Do you want to get out of here?" he asks,You feel butterflies in your stomach.

"Really?" You ask

"Yeah, you seem like you need company and a place to sleep"

"Yeah, that would be nice" You smile walking out with Dean. He drives you to a motel. You walk in and see his brother in a bed, not what you were expecting but okay. Not getting laid you see.

"He's sleeping I gave him medicine to knock his ass out" Dean chuckles. You nod your head. Dean grabs you some water and sits on the bed, you sit next to him. Dean asks you a bunch of questions trying to figure out things about you, about how you know Bobby and stuff. He told some of his life dramas, not much though.

"Who was she?" He asks, referring to the ghost.

"She was my sister" You sigh "She was everything to me, just like how Sam is to you. My best friend. I lost her years ago. She was killed, in a really messed up way. She escaped and died in the bunker, she locked her self in to keep herself safe." you explain. "I was supposed to be home"

"You can't blame yourself" Dean starts

"I'm not. I'm just saying it could have worked out differently."

"Why was she there?"

"That was my childhood home. We grew up there." I smile thinking of how it used to be. "My dad and my mom would always be up in the morning making breakfast for us. Of course me and my sister would shove food in our mouths and run out the door to meet our friends. We had a normal childhood until 10th grade, the second year of high school."

"What happened" Dean asks he looks completely taken by your story

"We found out my dad and mom were hunters. They taught us how to use guns early on and self defensive moves but we didn't think much of it. They wanted us to be prepared. One night after dinner my dad came in with my uncle screaming. My sister and I ran down the stairs and saw our uncle on the table covered in blood. It was shocking I didn't know what to do. My dad and mom took over while we watched. Later that night my mom explained everything to us saying that's why they're not going to the hospital. He died that night."

"Your uncle?"

"Yeah" You shake your head. "Then my mom died, weird cause of death, my dad burned all the bones of anyone who died in or near the house, except my uncle not thinking he would do something like that."

"And your sister?"

"She died after high school. She got accepted into her top choice dream college. I convinced the school to change their minds because she never wanted to go to school. Not after what happened with our mom." I look at Dean "A year after that me and sister and huge heart to heart just talked about everything. I told her I loved her and went out with my friend. That night my father was killed and so was my sister." I wipe away a tear "Anyway, it was nice saying goodbye" Dean doesn't say anything just holds you, you were taken back at first but let him. You smiled to yourself, you felt better.

"What about you?" you ask. Dean spent the night talking about his family, and cuddling with you which you had no arguments about. You drifted off to sleep and for once felt like you didn't need to watch your back.

#supernatural #supernatural smut #supernatural imagine #sam winchester #dean winchester #sam winchester smut #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester smut #supernautral #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester fluff

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dogtoling · 1 year

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assuming octolings can grow their hair out, how would they cut it if it ever grows too long? like do they never cut or trim it at all? or are they expected to just cut it off to form a new octarian at that point?

Unlike with humans where our hair just grows infinitely, I think inkfish tentacles really only grow until a certain point proportionate to the rest of their body. So their tentacles wouldn't grow eternally unless they had some insane genetics - because the natural length your tentacles definitely varies on something like that.

This ask seems to go under the assumption that new Octarians are created solely when an Octoling's tentacle gets detached from the body. I'd really like some canon clarification for how exactly the creation of new Octarians works, but I don't like that explanation. Because we know Octarians come in a really weirdly large variety of shapes and intellect, if JUST getting a tentacle cut off always created a new Octarian, that would mean if you ever chopped a tentacle off by accident or just... liked having short tentacles, you'd also have 200 children out there. Which is also extremely immoral especially if you combine it with the "octarians grow up into octolings" -headcanon (which is incorrect), because how many people are going to cut off their tentacles and be like "oh yeah, i guess i'm raising quadruplets now". Yeah. No 14-16 year old is, and no one else is either.

My assumption is that tentacles don't just magically become new Octarians, but Octarians as we know them are a product of Octarian biotechnology. I would guess it was initially created to mass produce foot soldiers (or... arm soldiers?) for war, as tentacles are expendable and Octarians are said to be very diligent and extremely simple, at least the single-tentacled ones. Many of them have since been created for other tasks that you don't really need Octolings to do, like factory jobs. The social status of Octarians is kind of weird, because besides all of this, they're also shown to be normal citizens and there's even art book concept art of like, an Octarian mafia, and several other things in the series that confirm that they're also just people sometimes. But then half the time they're just mass produced soldiers that ink the same cubic meter of ground for like 12 hours straight waiting for Agent 3 to trespass. (i think this is canonically what they do too).

So a recently cut tentacle is used to grow the tentacle into a clone of sorts, which is easy and not that resource-intensive, because a tentacle cutting already has a lot of the stuff you need, including brain cells. So the shape of an Octarian really depends on how long it's been "cooked" and their shape can be highly modified to fit a specific battle role for example. But at its core, an Octarian is really a tentacle that's been tricked to try to regrow into what it originally was or at least what it was a part of (that being an Octoling), which is why some Octarians look a lot more like Octolings in terms of their anatomy, whereas others only had time to grow legs and the bare minimum of stuff like eyes and a mouth. They're mostly half-baked clones.

But back to the actual topic of the ask, I don't think a tentacle cutting automatically means you're giving birth to an Octarian. Most tentacle cuttings are likely either trashed or fried (rather fried, that's meat after all). With that being said though, most Octolings probably don't want to, or don't feel like they need to cut their tentacles. Every Octoling tentacle is much more prehensile and generally useful than the tentacles of Squids are, with squids having two longer tentacles primarily for striking and four smaller ones that are rarely that useful at all. Octolings however have naturally longer tentacles, and they can pretty much be used like arms, so many don't like to cut them off for no reason - and it obviously hurts, too. Fashion-based tentacle cuts really only recently became a thing among squids and it's even newer for Octolings.

#mailbox

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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 2 years

Text

Currently watching - August

Because I love a good little list 😊

Regularly updated during the month - colored = finished

Currently airing

180 degree longitude passes through us (3/8)

Damn, THIS IS SO GOOD. The cinematography, the acting, the relationships, the tension. I am blown away! Episode 3 delivered and I am here for it. If it goes this way I can tell it will be in my top watches of 2022.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (12/16)

I love this so much! I love the character growth in so many of them. I guess like the most of us I just adore Lee Jun-Ho. He is a walking green flag! This is such a great series! Damn, my days have simply too few hours!

The Eclipse (3/12)

Ayan is so sassy and Akk is already so confused. I enjoy their progress with each other very much. The story so far is really good and I can't wait for the next episodes!

Vice Versa (6/12)

This is something else. Love the whole different universe thingy and I think the main couple really do have chemistry with each other. The concept of time is something else in this series...I haven't any clue that they are in this universe for a whole fucking year! What the...? But I enjoy this series and its color concept very much!

About Youth (2/10)

First episode made me tear up...I would say this is a good start for a really great and emotional connection to this series. Yeah, I like this one a lot.

Love in the air (2/13)

Hm...I am not sure after the second episode. People who are triggerd by sa or the hints of it...stay away? My moral compass might be a bit of, but so far I can not really enjoy it?

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (2/8)

The second episode was so much better! I couldn't stop smiling because they're just adorable together.

What if (3/5)

Sometime a low budget drama is just perfect at the end of the day. The friendship in this feels real and so does the relationship between Smart and Peach. The episodes are very short, so you can't do much wrong watching this one.

Coffee Melody (7/10)

Update from the update...It is boring...Duan Yi is very self-centered...he is bland...the lack of chemistry is astonishing...I can't see any plot or progress. At this point (ep 7) it is just painful to watch.

Unforgotten Night (10/12)

Hell yeah! And with hell I literally mean hell! This is a very special series whose depiction of a whip-wielding “dom” will never leave my memory. If you like trash, go for it!

Mama Gogo (2/10)

There are too many series on the side to satisfy my need for second-hand embarrassment that I've neglected Mama Gogo a bit. There are sexy dancing men...so I will definitely keep watching, really!

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (10/12)

The story of a coin laundry owner becoming friends with a high-school student and we have to wait where this is going. Well acted and kind of cute so far. The tension!!!! Damn!

War of Y (4/20)

This is a strong one. It is a slap in the face for the industry and the audience. Watching it doesn't make you feel comfortable and I enjoy it very much.

On Cloud Nine (4/6)

This had a strong start. I like the atmosphere and the scenery. All those flowers and the emptyness. I have my thoughts about all of this, but I keep them quiet for now.

My only 12 % (2/14)

Not quite sure about this one. The first episodes were kind of...boring?

Already broadcasted series

Finished in August

Series

Love Mechanics (10/10)

Okay, this series has its flaws. Do I care? Not at all. I love it. I am obsessed with War's acting and Yin's progress. I don't care about cheating storylines as long as they make sense to me. I love the chemistry, I love the angst and I love their love for each other. 10 out of 10 painful moments

SOTUS S (13/13)

Oh I liked it. And I like the character of Arthit. He is a small, insecure bean and I want to give him a hug and tell him everything will be alright. Kong still can be a little bit to much for me. 8 out of 10 pink milks

The Novelist (6/6) + Spring Life

Exactly what I expected. It is no high romantic bl. It is a high heat boys lust drama. I liked the concept and the story and the acting is really fine. It has its flaws, but I can live with them. 8 out of 10 erotic novels

21 Day Theory (4/4)

This was a cute one. Short but it still managed to transport everything it wanted to tell us. I especially liked the coming out to the family and the friends. And the ending? Sweeeet! 9 out of 10 pastries

Even Sun (6/6)

First I thought I don't get the point, but after reading some comments I realised there was no point in this. The story was...wait, what story? Yes, the ending was cute, but the rest felt rushed and with too many plot holes. 4 out of 10 plot holes

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (8/8)

Hm. In the end, it didn't leave a bigger impression than I initially thought. It was a cute story, but the last two episodes were...kind of off. Like they needed some kind of conflict but couldn't come up with anything that would fit the story. 6,5 out of 10 shy smiles

Dark Blue and Moonlight (12/12)

I am just happy I finished it. It was bad. In the end I don't know what the point of all this was. The story got repetitive in the end...they break up, they make up, oh they break up, wait no, they didn't break up in the first place. It is just messy af! This series could have ended after five or six episodes. Yeah, not a fan. 3,5 out of 5 "break ups"

History 2: Right or wrong (4/4)

It took me some time to like Shi Yi Jie. Adored the daughter and her relationship with Fei Sheng Zhe. The story is ok. The character growth is there and I appreciated it. Nothing to rewatch, but nice to watch on a rainy afternoon. 7 out of 10 Egg Fried Rice

History 2: Crossing the line (4/4)

Love it. Great story, lovable characters and a lot of sports. I like the arc of the main and the kind of natural way the two protagonists become closer over time. 9,5 out of 10 volleyballs

History 3: Make our days count (10/10)

Okay, my softspot was without a doubt the side couple. Thomas Chang is just beautiful and I loved every scene he was in. And I don't have a problem with the ending...I am sorry, but I think it was well done and it works with what the series wants to tell us: cherish every moment and make every single day count, because life is short in the and. 8,5 out of 10 shower scenes

See you after quarantine? (10/10)

This was cute. Something different because of the way it was filmed. I liked the characters and the short (very short) episodes. Nothing special and still something to feel good about. 8,5 out of 10 S21

Add*cted (15/15)

What the toxic fuck was that? Don't get me wrong. I liked it. It was, most of the times, well acted and the story was quite nice, but damn those two are toxic as fuck. And yes, it looks like I threw my moral compass overboard a long time ago. 7 out of 10 toxic traits

My Secret Love (12/12)

A sweet college-BL with a little bit of cringe about a forced BL-couple. Main couple had a high cringe rate for me personal. They were cute, but a little stiff. Secondary couple is an established couple with its own problems and very touchy. Liked their dynamic. Third couple...never thought this one would end up being my favorite, but they are so cute! Adorable! Over all it wasn't something that blew my mind. It was good for a one-time-watch. 7 out of 10 youtube channels

I promised you the moon (5/5)

Still, I can't stand Teh's character. He's just an asshole whithout empathy (in my opinion). He hurts the people around him and in the end he is the victim. No sir...Don't like this attitude and your apologies don't help. But I enjoy Oh-aew and his journey to his true self. I have dearly wished for a happy ending for Oh-aew and Q. I have to say, I didn't like Teh in ITSAY, but here...I truly disliked him till the end! And he is the reason I can't give it a better grade. Not the cheating that angers me that much, but the way he thinks he is the center of everyones world. 6 out of 10 self-centred bitches

His Man (11/11)

Korea's first gay dating show. It was great to see them bond with each other, not just romantically, but with cute friendships. The atmosphere was really good most of the times. Two people found each other and it was quite cute to watch. The fandom, especially on twitter, was toxic af which was very unpleasent. There was so much hate for real people...viewers treated them as couples from their favorite bl and got angry because the real person ddn't act as a fake character but as a real person...and the production played along. I love this show for the particiants and for that 10 out of 10 but the production needs to fix the misleading shit they cme up with! 10 out of 10 for the eight beautiful men

Check Out (12/12)

This was bad. The amount of times I shouted at my screen and asked him what the hell was going on is way too high for 12 episodes. The story is messy as hell. The acting is...not good. The plot...what plot? They could have handled the story in one or two episodes. The characters are unlikable. I thought Tee deserved better, but after the last episode? Honey, you're not better than anyone else. Yeah, glad it is over...Can't recommend it. 1 out of 10 unnecessary drama

Short films

The Immeasurable (Taiwan)

I like it. Don't read the synopsys on gagaoolala if you don't like spoilers. I enjoyed the chemistry between the two protagonists, I like the aunt and I do like the story. I like that it is shows how fragile a relationship can be if you don't talk and don't listen even though you have a strong physical bond. 8,5 out of 10 baskeball courts

I'll be with you (South Korea)

Short film about a funeral and the way people deal with it and how little we actual now about others. The ending was unexpected and sweet. It was a good, short watch. 7 out of 10 black suits

Tidal (Taiwan)

This was painful and heartbreaking to watch. I liked it (well, no shit, I like pain...). Once again, if you don't like spoilers keep away from the synopsys...and I guess from my opinion too...damn... 7,5 out of 10 marbles

Movies

What I'm looking forward to in August:

War of Y (2. Aug)

On cloud nine (6. Aug)

21 days theory (7. Aug)

Papa & Daddy 2 (8. Aug)

The Eclipse (12. Aug)

My only 12% (12. Aug)

180 degree longitude passes through us (14. Aug)

Love in the air (18. Aug)

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (19. Aug)

About Youth (29. Aug)

Ghost host, ghost house (? Aug)

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the-final-sif · 4 years

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I was thinking about different way the league could try to kidnap Katsuki and thought what if they just adopted him. Like got the paperwork filled it out (using an alias) and just battled the Bakugous for custody. Yeah, they're villians, but the paperwork checks out, and they can provide all necessary essentials, and maybe the Bakugous aren't the best parents.

This idea is extremely funny to me, and so I tried to think of a way it could work out that even kinda makes sense. After talking about it in the discord, I think I figured it out. (Set after USJ & sports festival, but pre-any kidnapping stuff)

We’re going to assume Bad Parents!Bakugous, with the situation being bad enough Katsuki is removed from their custody. The plan was for Aizawa / UA to take custody of him after that.

Only, there’s 1 tiny flaw in that plan. Katsuki’s quirk.

See, Katsuki’s quirk is considered a ‘dangerous’ quirk. 99% of the time this doesn’t matter, but there’s an old law regarding child custody that comes into play with dangerous quirks.

The law basically says that if a child has a ‘dangerous’ quirk, and their removed from their birth family’s custody, other relatives MUST be contacted to see if they are willing + capable of taking custody of the child. Even distant relatives.

Furthermore, if a relative wants the child (and passes a few other criteria), then they are all but guaranteed custody, even if there’s other circumstances that would usually prevent it. If the relative has a similar quirk to the child, that boosts their chances even further / offers extra protections.

The law was created during an earlier period of quirks, when ‘dangerous’ quirks were extremely hard to handle, and usually only family members with similar quirks could do it. It’s not a great law, but nobody’s gotten around to removing it since it doesn’t come into play often.

But of course, Katsuki isn’t so lucky. He has three relatives that have to be contacted and decline custody of him before Aizawa can claim it. He’s never met any of these people, has never had much contact with any extended family, but now he has to wait for them to say no before he can move on with this bullshit.

Two are easy enough, both are great uncles or something similar and live in assisted living facilities. Neither have the interest / capacity for Katsuki.

And then there’s Katsuki’s distant cousin on his dad’s side.

Honestly, it’s such bullshit. The guy went missing ages ago. His whole family was confirmed dead, but apparently the guy himself wasn’t, and since he’s still considered alive, they have to at least try to contact him.

A newspaper ad goes up for “Tenko Shimura”, there’s a 15 day waiting period while the ad runs, and then they should finally be free to move on.

Except, holy shit, turns out the guy isn’t actually dead.

He saw the newspaper ad, and actually calls in out of curiosity.

Katsuki is taken off guard and relieved, because the guy will say no, and then they can finish this, right?

Right?

Only, the guy doesn’t say no.

He doesn’t say yes either, but he asks to be put in contact with Katsuki so he can discuss it.

Katsuki is so done with all of this, but he agrees to talk to the guy hoping to convince him it’s fine for Aizawa / UA to take custody.

Tenko & Katsuki talk on the phone for an hour, and by the end of their first conversation, Tenko isn’t convinced it’s fine and now Katsuki isn’t either.

Because, fuck, the guy actually sounded nice. And nothing he said was wrong either. Tenko was worried about the sports festival (and Katsuki has to admit, hearing an adult express concern for him & tell him what happened to him was bad for the very first time took a weight off his shoulders he hadn’t known he was carrying), he was worried about how UA had handled him so far, and he was worried what would happen if Katsuki didn’t have any outside figures to turn to in the future.

Several long phone calls later, including one between Aizawa & Tenko, and it’s been decided. While Katsuki will be staying at UA and living primarily in the dorms set up for international students (since Tenko lives quite a ways away), custody of him will be going to Tenko.

Aizawa isn’t exactly happy about it, but that law gives Tenko the first claim, and he has to admit that Tenko raises quite a few good points. After having spoken to him at length, Aizawa feels like he has Katsuki’s best interests in mind too.

Paperwork goes through, things are set in motion, and in the meantime, Katsuki keeps calling / texting with Tenko, slowly growing closer to his cousin. Turns out the two have a lot in common.

Tenko also have family issues and was adopted, which is why he appeared to go “missing”. In reality he’s just been living under a different name. His quirk is apparently related to his hands and also considered ‘dangerous’ although he doesn’t like to discuss it, and he and Katsuki are both very blunt people, meaning they get along great.

Finally, everything is said and done, and Katsuki is going to go on a weekend trip up to where Tenko lives to meet him in person for the very first time. He’s given a train station and told he’ll be met there, and he’s honestly kinda excited for it.

Throughout the court case, Aizawa was the only one from UA allowed to have access to all the records / be in contact with Tenko. He couldn’t even discuss things with anyone else.

Now it’s all over though, he’s in the staff room and only half engaged in the current planning session. Mostly focused on his phone / checking in with Katsuki.

Mic teases him about being worried, and Aizawa just mumbles that he’s still kinda unsure of this ‘Shimura’ guy.

All-Might, who is also at this meeting, does a spit take.

It takes several seconds for him to regain himself.

He’s sure he must’ve just misheard though.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I just got confused about something for a moment. What did you say the name of Katsuki's new parent was again?"

“The guy’s legal name is Tenko Shimura, although he apparently stopped going by that awhile ago, which was why he came up as missing. He responded to a newspaper ad though and was able to verify his identity."

All-Might.exe has stopped working.

It has to be a coincidence. There's no way.

"Tenko... Shimura? His name, uh, well I used to know someone by that name. How old was he again? And why was he chosen?"

Aizawa is a little confused, but still not concerned, he just assumes All-Might happened to know the guy.

"He's 20, which is young to be taking on a kid, but he's properly prepared for. It was the quirk-relation law that set it in stone. Shimura is a distant cousin and has similar quirk to Katsuki, the specifics were a little hazy, but a dangerous hand-related quirk. Why?"

All-Might needs several seconds before he can speak.

“Tenko Shimura is Tomura Shigaraki.”

“... What?”

“Tenko Shimura, that was Tomura Shigaraki’s birth name. That’s- That’s him. There’s nobody else that could be.”

“WHAT?!”

Yeah, so they try to get in contact with Katsuki but it’s too late, Kurogiri already ‘picked him up’ and his phone is not working in the underground area he’s in.

Anyways, so Tomura introduces himself, and Katsuki spends awhile trying to fight him but not really getting anywhere until Tomura is finally able to convince him to let Tomura explain himself.

Katsuki is Upset, but also wants Answers.

Tomura reveals that he never lied, he was Tenko Shimura, and everything he told Katsuki was true. Truths were certainly omitted, but he never lied. And he has no bad intentions towards Katsuki.

He saw the newspaper ad, and having seen what happened at the sports festival, felt compelled to step in. He promises he just wants to be a good guardian.

And Katsuki does not want to believe that. He doesn’t.

Except, at the end of their scheduled time, Tomura just,,,, lets him go. No demands that Katsuki can’t tell anyone what happened, no threats, nothing.

Kurogiri just teleports him back out to some place near UA and bids him goodnight, very pleased to see Tomura taking this seriously & that he now has a grandchild.

Katsuki shows back up at UA, after 12 hours of them searching for him frantically, and he’s just as confused as they are.

Obviously, they try to remove custody from Tomura after that.

Problem: They can’t.

Between the bullshit law from before, and the fact Tomura has never actually been caught / arrested / charged with a crime, they legally cannot remove Katsuki from Tomura’s custody.

He would have to fail as a guardian for Katsuki in order for them to remove him. Until then, he’s got custody.

This is just something they’re going to have to live with.

Katsuki Is So Done.

When he goes into class on Monday, a very excited Kirishima greets him.

"So dude? How did visiting your cousin go? What was he like?"

"You know that guy who attacked us at USJ? The guy with the creepy hands who almost killed Aizawa?"

“... Uh, yeah?”

“Turns out that’s my cousin.”

"Oh my god! What the hell dude! Are you okay???"

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Welcome to the Katsuki Shimura AU, where Katsuki’s life is weird and Parent-Teacher conferences get fucking awkward.

#katsuki bakugou #tomura shigaraki #shouta aizawa #dadzawa #bnha crack #mha crack #kurogiri #bnha #mha #Katsuki Shimura AU #sif speaks #my headcanons #sif answers #Anonymous

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years

Text

𝑀𝑦 𝐺𝑖𝑟𝑙 (𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎×𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟)

Part Two / Part Three/ Part Four

Pairing: Bad boy! Park Seonghwa (Ateez)/ Reader (Female)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, School AU.

Summary: Y/N never cared about a lot, her only goal was to get through college as quickly as possible. One day, she makes eye contact with the notorious bad boy class and unintentionally glares at him. Did she just screw up her peaceful school life?

Requested by a very close friend who better appreciate this or else :) ♡

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12:53

Only 2 minutes had passed since Y/N had looked at the clock, but it felt like an eternity. She always did hate computer science. Not because she felt it was difficult or kept her up at all hours of the night trying to finish the assigned tasks, that was more of a biochemistry thing. It was because although her professor was really excellent at teaching them and helping them maneuver all the software, he had an awful tendency to leave early, sometimes up to half an hour, and just let them do as they pleased. While some decided to watch stupid cat videos, browse through their social media, others went as far as to play video games or even go onto some questionable websites that more than once made her cringe with disgust.

Y/N often just sat there, either finishing up assignments for her other classes or bored to death, waiting for it to be 1pm so she could go off campus and get something to eat. Having forgotten to eat breakfast, even a simple untoasted bagel cause she accidentally overslept through her alarm, she could really use some fuel in her system. She was tired, hungry and therefore moody, which was never a good combination.

12:56

She groaned softly and let her head fall back on the head of the chair. She closed her eyes, not caring about dozing off right then and there in front of the whole class. What would they care? They're too immersed in their narcissistic fake Instagram lives or their sadomasochistic porn desires to pay attention to her. In fact, no one ever really payed attention to her and she didn't care. She liked it that way. Invisible, unseen. It meant no one bothered her and no distractions from her only goal in life. No one seemed to notice or even look at her.

That's what she believed. But for some odd reason she couldn't shake off a weird feeling of someone watching her. She slowly opened her eyes and was indeed met with a pair of dark, glassy eyes staring right at her. Dark eyes sitting on top of a perfectly straight nose, small luscious pink lips accompanying a sharp jawline only complimenting the rest of his heavenly features.

Park Seonghwa.

If someone were to ask Y/N her honest opinion of him, she'd probably respond:

"I don't know. Everyone is afraid of him and everyone tells horror stories though."

Yes, he had a reputation for being the school's bad boy. She's personally never actually seen him be violent towards anyone, but she had heard about fights that often happened at the football field, always ending in his apparent victory. She never payed mind to such stories, frankly she didn't even care. She had even forgotten that he was in the same class as her, up until this very moment.

She somehow expected him to look away, but he didn't. He kept his gaze locked on hers. In any other circumstance, she would have looked away, but something about his stare kept her from looking away. The corners of his lips were slightly curled upward, almost as if they were forming a soft smile. That could just be his lip shape though, after all, she's never actually looked at him closely. His eyes as well had a particular glow to them, and if she wasn't in such a bad mood maybe....just maybe, she would have felt her cheeks heat up and turn a baby pink shade. But she simply looked away after a minute of staring into his eyes. Wait...was it a minute?

12:58

Yep. Pretty much around that time. 2 minutes left until her torture ended. Maybe if she looked at it hard enough, maybe time would go faster. Foolish thought but it is often said that the mind works wonders. Although in this case it seemed to be doing the opposite of what she wanted. And she still felt the same pair of eyes staring at her. So turning back she found she was correct.

Only this time instead of curled lips and glowy eyes, she was met with furrowed eyebrows and a clenched jaw. Now she felt a shiver ran down her spine as Seonghwa glared at her, almost as if he was threatening her. And it truly was menacing.

The light twinkling of a bell signaled that it was 1pm and time to leave. Y/N grabbed her books that were out in front of her desktop and quickly shoved them in her book bag as if it was an Olympic sport. She nearly tripped as she scurried out of the classroom, ignoring the throbbing pain on her shin which had collided with the leg of the chair. All she knew is that she didn't want to stay long enough to figure out if all the stories she heard about Park Seonghwa were true or not. So she practically ran out of the campus, completely forgetting about her hunger or tiredness. She was fully awake now and her stomach felt sick that she couldn't possibly even think about taking a bite out of anything.

Meanwhile the man she left behind at the classroom stood there in shock, his mouth letting out a soft scoff at her behavior. He shook his head as he picked up his jacket that was hanging on his chair and a notebook that had fallen out a few feet away from the row of computers in front of him. His mind was already working, planning on how to deal with this.

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I heard he was pissed.

Seriously?

Didn't you hear the way he slammed the door?

She must have done something to piss him off.

I don't know, all I know is that Seonghwa was fuming while muttering something about giving it to her.

Whoever she is, she sounds as good as dead.

That's what Y/N overheard some girls gossiping about while she was in the bathroom. Now half of the school was hell bent on finding out who was the mysterious girl who dared glare at Seonghwa and what he'd do to her. That's practically what the school thrived on: gossip and drama. And frankly, she wanted no part in it.

So for the next week, she completely changed her usual routine. She purposefully used routes that she'd never gone through before to attend her classes, she refused to eat at any nearby cafes around the neighborhood, and she went as far as to not physically attend her computer science course. One of the blessings of a course involving a computer was the fact she could do it right at home and she decided to take full advantage of it. And she most certainly avoided any places where she knew Seonghwa and his group of friends tended to hang around in.

She was scared, she was willing to admit that. Scared of whatever Seonghwa was planning for her, scared of it becoming the new school gossip and overall just terrified. So even if it was a pain and hassle to go to such extremes, she wanted to avoid the confrontation at all times and she thought she was doing a fairly good job.

Apparently not good enough.

Having forgotten a few things in her locker, she went back after almost everyone had cleared out, only the staff stayed behind at this hour, locked in the teacher's lounge no doubt complaining about their day's work. She was so distracted trying to organize the books and journals in her arms that she was only brought back to reality when her locker was slammed shut right in front of her, frightening her so much that she dropped all her things to the ground. She looked back and froze when it was none other than Seonghwa who stood in front of her.

"6 days..."

His deep voice felt like ice, freezing her from moving let alone breathe.

"For 6 whole days, I've been waiting for you in class, only to find out you stayed home. Then, no matter where I searched, you always figured out a way to avoid me...."

Seonghwa leaned down, close to her face, smirking right at her.

"Well I finally caught you little one....and there's been something I wanted to do..."

Oh no! This was exactly what she feared. There was no one around to protect her or even witness what was going to happen. So Y/N closed her eyes and braced herself for whatever was going to come. She only hoped that it would end as quickly as possible.

"I like you."

Wait. What?

She looked up in shock, wondering if she heard what she thought. Seonghwa had leaned back up and stared at her.

"I like you. I've been wanting to tell you that. " He repeated himself.

Y/N didn't even know what face she made, but whatever it was, it made Seonghwa chuckle softly at her reaction. Bending down, he began to pick up her stuff that she dropped.

"I don't expect you to confess your feelings for me nor even answer me at the moment." He continued as he handed her the books and journals.

"I know you're confused right now, I would be too if I was in your place. Besides...."

He looked at her and smiled very faintly.

"There's plenty of time to get to know each other. After all, the weekend starts tomorrow."

He picked up his bookbag that he had previously set down on the floor and slung it over his shoulder. Then he took out a baby pink journal with sparkles on the side from his bag.

"By the way, you left this at class when you ran out the door." He handed her what rightfully belonged to her. She recognized it as her sketching notepad.

"See you soon Y/N. Real soon." He winked and waved goodbye at her before walking away.

Y/N stood there, her mouth wide open and looking around, questioning if this was a dream, a nightmare or reality.

What the hell just happened?!

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"Medium hot white chocolate mocha with Irish cream syrup and whip cream."

The customer went up to the counter and picked up their drink, not even bothering to say a thank you or even acknowledge her presence.

"Thank you. Have a very nice day." Y/N repeated the customary line they all had to say when someone left the shop, making sure to add a warm smile and to use a light tone of voice.

Once the customer had left, Y/N turned back to her coworker, Jinhee, who was already groaning.

"That old geezer was such a pain! You're lucky you didn't take his order. I was about to strangle him." Jinhee complained and made a choking gesture with her hands.

"That bad huh?" Y/N asked as she wiped down the counter around the espresso machine.

"It's Saturday Y/N, and it's almost night. What do you expect? Only Karens and their annoying husbands come by for caffeine at this hour." Jinhee shook her head, tired from dealing with so many demanding and pushy customers.

"Look on the bright side, it's almost 7, meaning we get to go home soon." Y/N tried to remain positive.

"Hell yeah! I can't wait. Me and the girls are heading out to that club I was telling you about. You should seriously come."

Y/N expected Jinhee to ask her to join them, she always did. She loved Jinhee, she really did, but her style of having fun wasn't exactly her cup of tea. Y/N did not want to spend a perfectly good night getting shit faced drunk and waking up the next morning in some stranger's bed.

"Thanks Ji, but no. I have...plans tonight." She quickly said, although both knew that was a total lie.

"Yeah..... let me guess, plans that involve packets of ramen, an order of chicken wings, tub of ice cream while you rewatch some anime about a demon butler or about a people murdering journal?" Y/N hated how Jinhee knew her so well.

"Leave me alone!" Y/N threw the rag in her hand at her friend, who was now laughing at her reaction.

They both went back to their usual task of cleaning and disinfecting what was already clean since there weren't many customers when it was nearing closing time. Jinhee decided to go to the back room to make sure everything would be stocked for the next day, leaving Y/N to attend anyone who came in. Since she wasn't expecting anyone, she took out her notepad and began sketching like she usually did. She didn't know why, but the serene, tranquil atmosphere in the coffee shop, the scent of the freshly brewed coffee mixed with the light hint of cinnamon and other spices always seemed to inspire her to draw to her heart's content. And right now, she knew she wanted to draw a face. What face exactly? She didn't know. But she decided to start drawing the outline to give her a base to work with, while she figured out if she'd draw someone she knew or just an imaginary person that would only live in her mind.

The ringing of the bell signaled that someone had come inside, just when she was about to relax. Getting up, she quickly put her notebook out of sight and straightened her apron.

"Welcome! What can I get for-"

She stopped when she looked up to see Seonghwa himself in the shop. He looked at her and snorted softly.

"Don't you look adorable in that uniform."

Y/N pouted slightly, feeling self conscious about the pink and red apron.

"Aww come on, don't give me that look doll. You do look cute." Seonghwa complimented her, making her blush a little.

"Wha-what can I get for you?" She cleared her throat and went back to being professional.

Seonghwa scanned the menu options before looking back at Y/N. He studied her features closely before asking:

"What's your favorite drink?"

"Huh?" Y/N wasn't expecting him to ask her that.

It always did threw her off whenever people asked her what she liked. She hated answering cause customers would always say how boring her favorite drink was or complain it wasn't their type. Well if it's not your type, then why ask in the first place right?

"I'm still waiting for an answer doll."

Seonghwa's voice brought her out of her trance. She pondered over her choices: either tell him and get it over with or just lie and pick some random drink.

"I like a simple hot chocolate with caramel." Guess the first option was the winner.

Seonghwa looked at her endearingly when she answered.

"Not a fan of actual coffee?" He raised an eyebrow.

She shook her head. Ironic how she worked in a coffee shop yet couldn't even down a simple cafe latte cause the espresso felt too bitter on her tastebuds. Seonghwa chuckled softly, muttering a barely audible 'cute' under his breath.

"Well little lady, I guess I'll take a medium one of those and a small strawberry frappe. No coffee in that one either please."

Y/N looked at him with a questioning gaze.

"What? You're not the only one who doesn't like coffee sweetheart."

He handed her a $20 bill, not even bothering to hear the price and telling her to keep the change. He then sat down at the closest table and watched as she skillfully prepared the drinks.

When she heard the sound of the machines working, Jinhee rushed out to the front, thinking Y/N needed help.

"Do you need help?" Jinhee asked as she looked over, trying to see what Y/N was preparing.

"Relax Ji. It's only a frappe and a hot chocolate, not that difficult. It's for the guy over there." She turned her head and signaled to Seonghwa.

Jinhee had to do a double take when she saw him, her jaw dropping. Then she looked back towards Y/N.

"What?" Y/N asked as she piped the whipped cream on the frappe.

"Did one of your anime boys come to life!?" She exclaimed, making Y/N slap her arm and try to shush her.

"Shut up! That's just a guy in my class." Y/N explained as she put the drinks in a tray and maneuvered herself to put them in the front counter.

"Well now I wanna transfer to your college." Jinhee giggled, making Y/N unconsciously smile at her comment, trying hard not to laugh or she'd end up spilling everything.

"Your order is ready." She composed herself and went back to her usual demeanor.

Seonghwa walked up slowly to the counter and took the frappe and straw in front of him.

"You should smile like that more often. Makes you look even prettier."

Y/N felt her breath get caught at his comment and Jinhee nearly squealing in the back wasn't helping. She just blinked slowly as Seonghwa walked away with his frappe.

"Wait! You forgot the other drink!" She called out to him when she remembered how to use her voice.

Seonghwa shrugged.

"It's for you. You did say it was your favorite right?"

He opened the door and took one last look at her.

"See you later." He winked like he did the last time they saw each other and walked out of the shop.

Y/N stood frozen, replaying everything in her mind. Jinhee's loud voice shook her awake though.

"Holy shit! You're so lucky! He was totally hitting on you! Is he like this in class too?! I'm so jelly! Oh my God! I want one of your lover boys too!" She crossed her arms and huffed slightly.

Y/N got flustered at her comment.

"He's not my lover boy....." She whispered softly and started wiping the counter to try and get her mind off Seonghwa.

"Not yet.....but he might be." Jinhee playfully nudged her on the shoulder before giggling like a dolphin.

Y/N rolled her eyes. She still couldn't wrap the idea that Park Seonghwa actually liked her. It was a concept so foreign to her, it didn't make sense. She stared at the hot chocolate in front of her. She contemplated throwing it away, but it was too tempting. And it was for her.....

She picked up the cup and started taking small sips out of it, trying hard not to burn her tongue like she usually did. She replayed the conversation in her head once more and she found herself replaying his last words:

"See you later."

What on earth did he mean by that?

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*Possible part 2 coming up*

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez fanfic #ateez school au #badboy!seonghwa #ateez seonghwa fanfic #ateez seonghwa fluff #ateez seonghwa angst #ateez seonghwa scenarios

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enchantedblackrose · 3 years

Text

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

**Not my picture. Google Images.**

This Thing Between Us

Pairing: Jay Halstead/Reader

Warnings: 1 F bomb near the end

Apologies, this has not yet been proofread by someone else. I was just too anxious to get it posted.

There's a knock on your apartment door which causes you to groan. You struggle to find the will to get off the couch and leave the warmth of your favorite sherpa blanket. In fact you contemplate not answering the door. You check your phone to make sure no one sent you a text about coming over.

0 new notifications

Then there's another knock with a little more force behind it this time. Sighing, your curiosity is getting the better of you. You pause your favorite Christmas movie before standing up.

'Ugh, Christmas,' you think to yourself. It is a large contributor to your current funk. But it's not your fault you find the holiday incredibly romantic. You can blame Hollywood and American commercialism for that. A constant string of movies, songs, and commercials are crammed down your throat before Halloween every year. Most depict having someone special, someone to cuddle, to sip hot chocolate with, to take you ice skating, or decorate the tree and bake cookies, someone to love and loves you back. You're painfully single and apparently sadistic, self sabotaging yourself with that movie.

You open the door and are met with those familiar piercing eyes belonging to your partner. The other leading cause of your pathetic state.. You met at work, both being a part of the elite intelligence unit for the Chicago Police Department. You're fiercely dedicated to the job, as is he, but that didn't stop either of you from hooking up. You've been sleeping together for a few months. You thought you could handle it all. The friendship, the casual hook ups, working closely together, the undeniable chemistry you two shared, but somewhere along the way you found yourself falling in love.

Scared of falling alone, of ruining everything, you've kept your feelings a secret. Instead you have, rather unsuccessfully, attempted to limit the hook ups, vowing to make a clean break.

Eventually.

You truly don't even know how you get yourself into these positions, but then you see him smiling at you as he leans on your doorframe and the how becomes a lot clearer.

"I have a candy cane for you."

"Ugh, Jay," you groan. "I'm really not in the mood. You should have called. I-"

"No, I have an actual candy cane for you." He pulled the curved peppermint stick out of his coat pocket offering it to you.

"Oh. Uh...thanks." You take the candy cane, slightly confused.

"I'm on the way to meet a CI about the case.I thought maybe you'd wanna come along?"

"Yeah, sure. Let me get changed real fast." You indicate for him to come inside. He steps through the doorway, accidentally brushing against you. You catch a whiff of his familiar scent and you find yourself thinking about pulling him to you. But you remember he's here for work.

Having been at your place quite a few times, he knowingly heads for your couch.You make your way to your bedroom. You're halfway undressed when you hear Jay laugh. You peek your head out to see what sparked the laughter. He sees you and points to your Christmas tree.

It's about 2 feet, strung with multicolored lights, topped with a star that's too big. It's pathetic and the whole thing looks like it could topple over at any given moment.

"What is that?" He exclaims, still laughing.

You huff and cross your arms. "Stop it. I haven't exactly had the chance to go out and buy a new tree." It's true. The case has you logging more hours than normal and your current mental state wasn't exactly inspiring your Christmas spirit, either. As you finish getting out of your sweats and putting on "real" clothes, you hear Jay still chuckling softly. As much as you want to be annoyed by him, the sound makes you smile slightly.

~☆~☆~☆~☆

Jay's informant has information that proves to be useful. You put in a call to the other members of the team. Soon enough there's a successful bust and several collars. Voight commends the team for a good job, then dismisses you all, rather quickly saying something about enjoying the start of the holiday when given the chance.

Jay takes you back to your place. You hesitate before getting out of his truck, struggling with your own conflicting wants.

"Do you wanna hang out for a bit?" You ask, losing your willpower.

He smiles and kisses your cheek almost brusquely. "I have some things to take care of."

You nod showing you understand, but hope the small smile you give is enough to hide your disappointment you can't help but feel. You slide out of his truck and give a careless wave bye.

'It's fine,' you tell yourself repeatedly as you make your way up to your apartment. 'This is good even'. Obviously you were failing at breaking things off. This could be your chance. You start getting ready for the long, hot shower your body desperately needs.

~☆~☆~☆~☆

Feeling better than you have in awhile, you settle into your couch beginning your search for something to watch. A knock on your door interrupts. Unbelievable.

You open it to once again find Jay standing there, this time donning a red santa hat and holding an oversized box.

"What are you doi-"

He cuts you off. "Do you mind?" You step aside and he comes in placing the box down in the middle of your living room. For the first time you can see clearly what it is he's brought you.

You feel a wide grin take over your face. "You bought me a tree?" He notices your bright smile and beams back at you.

"I bought you a tree. And some decorations. They're in the boxes still in the hallway. I didn't know what you had." You rush to bring them in. Jay begins removing pieces of the tree from the box as you look through the ornaments and lights he's brought. You inspect each one thoroughly and with a smile. Occasionally Jay stops assembling the tree to look at you. When you feel his eyes on you, you turn to him.

"What?" But he just shakes his head and returns his focus to the tree. "You know," you start carefully, not wanting to appear ungrateful, "I do have a few ornaments from when I was a kid downstairs in the storage unit."

"Well, go get them," he grins."I'm good here."

You return a few minutes later. Jay turned on Christmas music while you were gone, as well as finished getting the tree up. The artificial evergreen stands at 6 ½ feet. With it's big, full branches it's easily the nicest tree you've had as an adult.

Before he starts to string the lights up, he follows you to the couch where you sit with your small container of ornaments. You lift the lid carefully and begin showing them to him. There's an ornament with your name and date of birth on it. One has your kindergarten picture in it. You save your favorite for last and explain the sentimental value behind it. Jay listens intently as you speak and you swear you love him more for it.

Together you both start decorating the tree, stopping only to make hot chocolate. Soon the tree is fully decorated and there's nothing more to do than admire it. You both sit on your couch taking it all in.

You curl into Jay and almost automatically he wraps his arm around you. "Thank you," you say softly. "For all of this." He pulls you tighter in response and begins combing his fingers through your hair, but the sweet action stirs something in you.

Sighing, you sit up. Jay looks up at you in alarm. "Hey. What's been going on with you? Hmm?" He nudges you playfully, but when you don't speak, he looks dejected and runs a hand quickly through his hair. He says your name softly. "C'mon. You know you can talk to me about anything and it's not like I haven't noticed you pulling away lately."

You look at him and swallow hard, unsure of what to say. "This isn't enough for me, Jay. I'm sorry. I thought it would be, but it's not."

"What's not enough? The tree? I thought you liked it?"

"No, not the tree! The tree's perfect. I love the fucking tree, okay?" Tears are starting to form as your emotions get the best of you.

"Then what? I'm gonna need a little more information. I'm sorry."

"I don't wanna be the coworker you screw around with. I wanna mean something to you, Jay! Not in the we're partners way, either."

"Aw, baby girl." Your heart aches at the endearment he's only ever used in your most intimate moments together. "Come here." He pulls you tight to him and as much as you don't want to, you welcome his strong embrace. He's quiet for a moment as he holds onto you and you're begging the tears not to fall. "I'm gonna need you to look at me." He gently pulls away and cups your face. He stares deep into your eyes. "This thing between us, it's for real; it's never just been casual for me and I am so sorry I didn't tell you that before now. I'm so in love with you."

There's no stopping the tear rolling down your cheek. Jay wipes it away with his thumb. "You mean that?" You ask, your voice hardly above a whisper. He nods. You smile. "I love you, too." The words are hardly out of your mouth before his lips are on yours. He pulls away after a moment, gently resting his forehead against yours.

Your eye catches the clock on the wall. 12:01 in the morning. It's officially Christmas Eve and the man you love, loves you. An almost inaudible laugh escapes you.

"What?" Jay asks, clearly puzzled.

"Nothing. I'm just happy."

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x you #jay halstead #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd

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tallbisexualwantstobeloved · 3 years

Text

Daredevil, Crackfic challenge.

@call-me-sammy @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @whumpdoyoumean

Matthew Murdock was walking silently, focusing hard on his -available- senses to find what he was looking for.

Unfortunately, the solo vigilante couldn't seem to find it and, thus, turned to the next aisle.

As it turns out, enhanced hearing and physical abilities are not exactly suited for looking through an Aldi for clothes.

Matt passed quickly through the current aisle he was in -as all he could smell was soup- and turned to the next with the hope of finally finding the shirts he was looking for.

Why do they always change the layout of this place? He thought, annoyed.

At long last, Matt picked up the scent of new clothes, freshly out of whatever garage they were kept in before being put on the shelves.

Slowly and meticulously, he felt the cloths to check the material.

He would have to ask an employee about the colour of the shirts he was picking since he didn't want a repeat of that time; Foggy still cried with laughter when remembering that incident.

Matt held out his white cane in one hand and a shirt in the other and set to find any employee to help him.

Thankfully, he didn't have to look far as one rushed to him, immediately asking if he wanted help.

"Yes, could you tell me what colour these shirts are?" He asked, presenting the clothe to the worker.

"White." The employee said with a little too much excitement.

First day, Matt thought and asked for the size of it.

The shirt in his hand was in his size, luckily, and he went back with the same employee to get more of them.

Lord knows how easily they get dirty, so it made sense for the lawyer to buy them in bulk.

"Would that be all, sir?" The employee asked, basically balancing on the balls of their feet, in his hands were five shirts that they insisted on carrying.

Matt thought for only a second before he decided to ask about what kind of clothe detergent would be appropriate for hard stains.

The employee lead him through the building and into an aisle that had a suspicious lack of the usual scent of chemical cleaning products.

"These do wonders for all kind of stains and odors!" The worker said as Matt stood there, very much unable to see whatever 'these' were.

"Oh, shit!" Matt heard being whispered and next thing he knew there were small, odd textured balls in his fist and a slight scent of vinegar wafted in front of him.

"Throw these in with the clothes and they'll be just like new!" Matt could practically hear the worker's excited smile, just like a salesman he had seen on television one late night when his father hadn't yet returned from the ring.

Matt put on his best smile and thanked the employee before he was lead -more unwilling than not- to the checkout after saying that he didn't need anything else when he was asked.

It didn't take long for the cashier to scan his items and soon, the lawyer was on his way to his apartment to drop his things off before heading to work.

It was still early enough that he didn’t have to run but Matt didn't want to dawdle for long.

After all, he had customers waiting for him.

Unfortunately, it was while thinking of one customer that he missteped, tripping over the little crack on the pavement and falling onto the ground.

As both his hands were currently occupied, Matt didn't have a way to break his fall, unless he wasn't against using the perfectly placed trash bin beside him.

Well, he was, and thus opted to fall to the ground.

And, this being New York, the ground was the worst choice that won you four different kinds of tetanus and more importantly, dirt. So much dirt.

So, it wasn't surprising when Matt's perfectly clean-and-ready-for-lawyering shirt went from white to a nice brown-gray almost immediately.

Instantly, the people on the sidewalk on his side came to a stop, looking at the downed blind man for a moment and promptly walking away.

This is fine, Matt thought and picked himself -and his bags- up by seeing through his fire-filled world.

Once up, Matt decided to grab a fresh shirt while he left his bags at his apartment; walking a little faster since he didn't want to be late for work.

It wasn't long before he had the fresh, clean smelling, shirt on and running out of the door as quickly as a 'blind' man could without bumping into every corner.

A relatively short walk took Matt right outside the building's main door and through their office's one.

He greeted his coworkers, Foggy and Karen, as per usual and sat down on his own desk to get started on reading some new cases they debated taking.

It wasn't until an hour later that Matt got up to get [something]. The [whatever] was above his head and Matt reached his hand up to grab it, already hearing Karen getting up to help him if needed.

Foggy looked up from his own papers for a second, bit did a double take fast at the red colour on Matt's white shirt as his suit jacket lifted with the movement of his arm.

He got up and slowly walked over, Karen still looming behind the blind lawyer while said lawyer held [REDACTED] in his hand.

"Matty, can I speak to you for a second?"

Matt tilted his head slightly and nodded, allowing Foggy to lead him over to his office before closing the door.

Foggy let Matt's forearm go as soon as they were inside the small room and sighed;

"It's way too early for this, Matt."

Matt frowned in confusion at the, what felt like, scolding that was brewing inside Foggy's mind.

"It's 12 P.M., Fog, we both decided on the time to come into work." He said, genuinely confused.

"What? No, I don't mean that it's too early for work, I'm saying it's too early for all your-" Foggy waved his hand around like he was performing a spell, -Matt would have laughed, had he... you know-, "-vigilantism."

"I wasn't vigi- I wasn't fighting bad guys before work, Foggy!"

Foggy's silence said so much to Matt as he could feel the dubious side eye he was getting.

"I wasn't fighting bad guys before work today, Foggy."

He heard Foggy huff at that but he seemed to relent.

"Why are you bleeding, then?" Foggy whispered angrily.

"I'm not bleeding." Matt said, seriously confused now.

"Yes, you are." Foggy insisted.

"No." One word to kill a man.

"Matt! You have blood here!" He said and poked his finger right where the 'wound' was, absolutely taking into consideration that that could have hurt. Absolutely.

Matt felt the poke but it didn't hurt so he put his own hand above the spot Foggy had pointed at.

He felt an odd texture over the spot, unlike the texture of the rest of the shirt and realisation hit him.

"This... is an old shirt." He said quietly, "Shit, I grabbed the wrong shirt."

"Let's just go to your apartment to grab another one." Foggy suggested, "Unless you can produce one from thin air." Matt couldn't.

Both man grabbed their suitcases before making a beeline for the exit when Karen stopped them.

"Where are you going, guys? The office is swarming with customers right now." She said as she pointed it to their very, very empty office space.

"We won't be long, Ms Paige!" Foggy announced, practically dragging Matt behind him.

The two avocados found themselves in Matt's apartment soon and instantly Foggy raided the closet for a clean shirt for his friend to wear while Matt took off the dirty one and threw it in the washing machine.

Foggy stopped looking through the clothes -or lack thereof- when he heard strange scrunching sounds.

The man really got a kick when he saw Matt trying to open a plastic bag with some kind of nuts in it.

"Matt..." He called out, "What have I told you about making sure you eat in the morning?"

"This isn't breakfast, Fog." Matt said while still struggling, "This is for the washing machine."

"Your washing machine is hungry?" Foggy whispered, perplexed.

"No." Double homicide.

Foggy walked closer to Matt and saw more clearly the little baggie.

"Oh, walnuts! I thought they were out of season." Foggy said in a moment of enlightenment.

"They are not walnuts, they're soapnuts!"

"They're what now?"

"Soapnuts. They're supposed to be great at cleaning even the hardest stain."

"Uh, even blood?" He sounded doubtful, as he should.

"Well, the worker at the store said they work wonders."

"Okay, but. Blood, Matt. That does not come off easily as you know."

"We'll just give it a try, Foggy." Matt said and threw some of the nuts in the washing machine before starting a half-hour cycle.

Foggy mumbled a variation of 'alright' and went back to the closet.

He grabbed a shirt that seemed new and threw it at Matt who was busy "staring" at the wall right next to the washing machine.

Matt caught the shirt moments before it fell to the floor after hitting his face and put it on with a 'thanks, Fog.

The half-hour washing cycle turned out to take up three quarters of an hour, so that was a fucking lie, and Matt got the wet shirt out of it, holding it up;

"Perfect!" He exclaimed and heard Foggy shuffling next to him.

"Matthew?" His friend said slowly, carefully.

"Mhm?" Matt replied, eloquent as ever.

"The shirt is white, right?"

"Yes. Isn't it?"

"Uh... Pastel pink has some white in it, I guess."

"Well, yes. Pastel pink has to have whit- Wait a minute!" Matt stopped abruptly, "This shirt isn't white anymore, is it?"

"Nope!" Foggy popped the 'P' like he was a 14-year-old girl getting ready to be lawfully abducted by a boy band.

"Damn." Matt sighed.

"Careful with those damns, Matthew."

"Sorry, Father- FOGGY!" Matt shouted, scandalised.

Foggy snorted as he and Matt put the, now, pink shirt away and grabbed their things to head back to the office, wondering how Karen is doing.

Karen sat on her desk, typing away at her computer all the people she saw today with new cases.

It was a busy day with more customers that usual.

Two.

~end

#crackfic #mine #daredevil #thesoapnutmattcrackfic

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obstinaterixatrix · 2 years

Text

2021 fic retrospective

yeah I'll reveal the paper mask. if you reference the relevant fics in any way other than a 500 word essay about how great they are I'll block you. 11 fics, technically... 53k? ish? but about half of that was through cowriting (lol)

2/6

“I can’t stay” and other lies to tell, ORV, 2.5k

Han Sooyoung adjusts to post-epilogue life.

this one gave me such a huge headache... but I really like it! fulfilled my goal of having ysa punch out hsy (romantically) which is the only thing that matters. I love writing hsy and ysa but they're both smart and well-read in exactly the way I'm not so It's A Struggle. I have to put so so much effort into having like... one of those hollywood western sets. flat storefronts propped up to mimic the impression of a whole-ass town. that's me trying to write these gals.

2/21

a home to keep (out of reach), Kamen Rider W, 1k

While on the run from the museum, Wakana runs into Akiko.

oh the femslash life of writing an obscure ship from obscure(-ish) source material that aired over ten years ago. this has less than 20 kudos and I'm surprised I even hit that high. if I remember right I was in a mood of 'I need to write more gals and don't have specific ideas, someone give me some' and thankfully my friends obliged. Love You Buds!

2/27

being known, being loved, and other disasters you’ll never recover from, ORV, 2.5k

“Use your words” was supposed to be a thoughtless taunt; Kim Dokja wasn’t expecting to get a monologue.

this one's great. 10/10. utter genius. well actually I wish someone else wrote it and could dig into all of the complex ideas I couldn't quite grasp and it's terrible and I hate it. so it goes with this kinda thing. regardless, it 100% would not have been as good as it was (or wasn't?) if racher didn't let me call her at my 2am and talk with me for like two hours as I wailed and wept through the 4th scene. thanks racher <3

3/18

two sides, same coin, SVS3, 2k

With this, Mobei Jun can finally rest reassured that their relationship is plagued by no lingering ambiguity.

At all.

None whatsoever.

technically I wrote this fic last year and thought it was finished, but was struck by a brief bout of inspiration (and/or madness)

5/12

going nowhere // gone nowhere, Infinity Train, 23k

Two versions of a reunion without the train.

Side A: Ryan gets a call from the Parks and rushes back to Min-Gi.

Side B: Min-Gi doesn't get a call from Ryan but rushes to him anyway.

lmaaaoooooo I love cowriting fic. I have nothing but fondness for this one. if this fic were a living creature I would dote endlessly upon it. what started as a direct and targeted attack against lex got turned around on me and suddenly We Were Both In It... Together. 10/10, fantastic cowriting experience, lex expanded on a lot that I would've glossed over and really nailed a lot of solid vibes. I had a lot of fun breaking ryan's leg. speaking of, also big thanks to kly for the med reference (lol)

6/6

actually, that was a load-bearing wall, Persona 5, 2.3k

Makoto: Ryuji, how did you get injured? Is there anything we can do? Yusuke: He did not. Makoto: …Wait, why is Yusuke with you at the hospital?

sundry wrote all this, I just edited & spruced it up by making the texting segment look ✨phenomenal✨ (and after it was a prompt for me to write too, lol).

7/28

dreams not to keep, Infinity Train, 2.5k

Min-Gi has a weird stress dream about working at Dumpty's, one that is definitely meaningless and has nothing to do with complicated feelings that don't exist.

If I'm being transparent I had this vaguely drafted without any real intention of finishing it, then saw a dead dove fic in the tag that I found personally rancid, so I finished it out of spite just to bump it down. anyway I love dream sequences and psychological torment. this is a concept that was inspired by air and that I also drew to specifically antagonize lex (lol)

9/20

a door closed to light, Deltarune, 1k

There’s no good reason for Susie, of all people, to be barging into Noelle’s room. And it makes no sense why she’s the one who ends up doing it; Kris is the childhood friend—which makes them the obvious choice for a stupidly sappy rescue—and Ralsei’s like… basically one of those baby blankets, the kind with a dumb fluffy stuffed animal attached. So shouldn’t he jump at the chance to make friends or be a goody-goody or whatever?

I was actually visiting a friend when deltarune chapter 2 dropped and carved out time to finish it. I always knew noelle and susie would have more Solid Vibes when the game progressed, and I was right! the vibes are solid! thank you toby fox for being the number one lesbian ally that exists. but also since I was rushing so much I ended up missing a great opportunity for a joke and had to rush to change the ending (rip).

10/8

the unnamed ember that burns in your chest, SVS3, 1.5k

Mobei Jun takes a nap on Shang Qinghua’s bed and pines to a truly intolerable degree.

do you understand how agonizing it was for me to have a paper mask account that I wouldn't let myself reference at all AND YET I kept coming up with titles that absolutely slapped. are you kidding me. this was so goddamn romantic. fuck.

10/22

the rays of the protagonist’s golden halo don’t shine on us lowly side characters, so how about easing up on the collateral damage (you bastard), SVS3, 2k

Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu have a fight after Mobei Jun gets injured while helping the protagonist (who, let’s be honest, would’ve been fine no matter what).

DO YOU UNDERSTAND. HOW AGONIZING IT WAS. FOR ME TO HAVE A PAPER MASK ACCOUNT I WOULDN'T LET MYSELF REFERENCE AT ALL. AND YET. I KEPT COMING UP WITH TITLES THAT ABSOLUTELY SLAPPED. I'm absolutely entranced by my own unrecognized genius. anyway this was fun I love writing petty squabbles and asshole friendships lol

12/30

as it turns out, dying isn’t the romantic gesture you might think it is, SVS3, 15k

Shang Qinghua wasn’t a protagonist. He was barely even a side character. The sum total of his dialogue never surpassed ten lines, which puts him just above cannon fodder. His death, sudden but not unexpected, was less than a paragraph in the epic of Luo Binghe:

The conspicuous absence of the man who could be considered Mobei Jun’s shadow was then explained to Luo Binghe. Just days ago, Shang Qinghua—whether by accident or a final act of loyalty—took a fatal blow meant for Mobei Jun. Scarcely did he have the time to draw a single breath before succumbing to poison potent enough to fell a great demon on the verge of becoming king.

In his previous life as a reader, Mobei Jun didn’t have any reason to pay him much attention.

Things are different now.

BLAH BLAH BLAH TITLES THAT ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SLAPPED YOU KNOW THE DRILL anyway this is literally the longest solo project I've written in years, usually you can't get me over 5k without my corpse being dragged by someone else. I'm a 2k oneshot kinda gal! I hate writing longform! it's so much work! so much effort! and yet! this fic drove me absolutely fucking bonkers and would not let me rest until it was exorcised. it has the most vibes per vibe out of all my fics. it's my magnum opus. and it's quarantined to paper mask account because if I ever acknowledge it, it becomes agonizingly obvious that nfsftlots was me going like 'haha so this is what I think a mo/shang roleswap would be. wait a second I could make them lesbians. wait a second I could make them lesbian ocs. wait a second I've written a novella.' anyway the last chapter of this fic was what I consider 8k of absolute madness. I'm spilling my guts here. I am relentlessly shaking your shoulder. can you even begin to understand what this story has done to me. I am narcissus at the pond absolutely enthralled by myself. this is the exact type of confession I love to read. you can make some pretty obvious parallels to how I'm acting now and a certain character in the fic and you'd be right to but you cannot mention this to my face.

#writing ramble #fic retrospective

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

75 Criminal Minds Prompts

Some of these can easily go very, very dirty, and yes I’m talking about Morgan and Garcia conversations and honestly would it be a list without them?

1 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

2 “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.”― David Rossi

3 “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid

4 “Trust me, kiddo. I’ve been here before.” ― David Rossi

5 “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss

6 “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss

7 “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis

8 “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

9 “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan

10 “You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.” — David Rossi

11 “What makes you feel confident?” “Statistics.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

12 “NAME , believe me when I say this, I've never known a normal day in my entire life.” — Dr Spencer Reid

13 “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” — Dr Spencer Reid

14 “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.” “What are you implying, NAME?” “That everyone is medicated.” — Dr Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia

15 “He/She doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” — Dr Spencer Reid

16 “I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” “Every day since I met you!” — Dr Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan

17 “I never have any normal fans.” — Dr Spencer Reid

18 “Hey, Baby Girl, whatever you’re doing, drop it.” — Derek Morgan

19 “Talk to me, Baby Girl.” — Derek Morgan

20 “There you go, Baby Girl, that’s sweet.” — Derek Morgan

21 “Give it to me, doll face.” — Derek Morgan

22 “Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?” — Derek Morgan

23 “Hey, silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?” — Derek Morgan

24 “Hey girl, you’re on speaker. Behave.” “Or what, you’ll spank me?” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

25 “It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” — Derek Morgan

26 “Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.” “Rub my lamp, release the Genie.” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

27 “You really are afraid of the dark.” “I'm working on that.” “You should work a little harder.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

28 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?” — Derek Morgan

29 “Oh, and if you hate sad stories as much as I do, you should leave the room right now, 'cause this is super sad!” — Penelope Garcia

30 “Enchantress of all things possible, use your imagination.” — Penelope Garcia

31 “My least three favorite words strung together: I don't know.” — Penelope Garcia

32 “Hello, my pretties. I have seen the wizard and he granted my wish.” — Penelope Garcia

33 “She knew where to toe the line between right and raunchy.” — Penelope Garcia

34 “OK, let me get you on a secret: Guys, we don’t do well on subtle clues, OK? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!” — Derek Morgan

35 “It’s who you are, Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won’t let it.” — Derek Morgan

36 “NAME, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.” — Hotch

37 “Don't you have something better to do?” “Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.” — Hotch and Derek Morgan

38 “I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.” — Hotch

39 “NAME, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.” “And I need to know that I can be human.” — Hotch and Emily Prentiss

40 “Scars show us where we have been, they do not dictate where we are going.” — Rossi

41 “You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Understand?” — Rossi

42 “Just be careful. That ego of yours is going to get you in trouble." — Rossi

43 “Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it, but I can't go back and change it." — Rossi

44 “It could be that, after all of these years, I rewrote history." — Rossi

45 “Time will pass and slowly you will find how much it hurts. And, maybe, you'll find something else to fill that empty space." — Rossi

46 “Where you headed?” “Nowhere in particular.” “How will you know when you get there?” — Rose and Gideon

47 “Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal.” — JJ

48 “This is my favorite part. This is where you hang yourself with your own tongue. So, please keep talking.” — JJ

49 “My father/mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?” — JJ

50 “Oh god, please tell me you don't have a crush on a fictional character.” — JJ

51 “You are the best ever.” “Aw, and you're the most perceptive.” — JJ and Garcia

52 “I once dated a guy/girl who washed his/her car more than he/she washed his/her hair.” — JJ

53 “Don't tell me what I want and don't want.” — JJ

54 “You do what it takes to protect your family.” — JJ

55 “Look, I don't speak smartass.” — Michael Russo

56 “How's it having NAME around?” “You can have him/her back whenever you would like.” Hotch and Garcia

57 “So, NAME, when are you and NAME walking down the aisle?” “Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.” “When NAME says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single men/women everywhere.” — Rossi, Morgan and Reid

58 “Ugh! This heat is brutal!” “You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.” “At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

59 “Need a minute?” “So, so badly.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

60 “Hey. I came as soon as I could. What's wrong?” — Matt Simmons

61 “We ask questions, and we come home.” “No creepy weirdness?” “No weirdness.” “Good, 'cause I'm about full up in the creepy weirdness department for one night.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

62 “Ooh, what about this one? Sunny, two-bedroom. It's close to work. And it's in your price range.” “NAME, you're moving? You don't like change.” “That's true. Change is my kryptonite. But the apartment is no longer a sanctuary. I have a new neighbor. Window's right here. He enjoys doing naked kung fu. Some things you cannot unsee.” — JJ, Simmons and Garcia

63 “Thank you.” “For what?” “For being you.” “Aw, thanks. I don't know how to be anyone else.” — Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid

64 “When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.” — Emily Prentiss

65 “I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?” “The best way out is always through.” “Too bad it's not always the easiest one.” “You're not kidding.” — Dr Tara Lewis and Rossi

66 “It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.” — Diana Reid

67 “I don’t hate you ... I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” — Dr Spencer Reid

68 “There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.” “Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.” — Hotch

69 “I’m always right. Also, you’re secretly in love with me.” — Penelope Garcia

70 “I just gave the bartender my number in Roman numerals. If he/she figures it out, he’s/she’s worth a shot.” — Dr Spencer Reid

71 “Shh, the adults are talking. When it’s your turn to speak, I’ll give you permission. Okay?” — JJ

72 “Hey, mama, tell me something I don’t know.” — Derek Morgan

73 “Talk dirty to me.” — Penelope Garcia

75 “Hey, don’t make me spank you when I get back.” “Don’t listen time him/her, NAME, he’s/she’s all talk.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

#criminal minds prompts #criminal minds quotes #dialogue prompts #writing prompts #david rossi #derek morgan #dr spencer reid #emily prentiss #jj #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #nswfish

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sinkingwmyships · 4 years

Text

hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

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datheetjoella · 4 years

Text

Fantober 2020, Day 12: Enchanted Forest

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 12/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 1,799 Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Human!Makoto, Elf!Haru, First Meeting, Magic, Fluff Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

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Tired and worn-out from his travels, Makoto weaved through the dark woods in search of a place to camp out for the night. Preferably at a river or a creek, somewhere he could refill his flasks and wash his face. His horse was starting to lose speed, so hopefully, he would find a good spot before she had to give in to exhaustion.

Then, the sound of running water drowned out the symphony of owls and crickets. He followed it and to his delight, he stumbled upon a glade at the bottom of a cliff. A pristine waterfall cascaded down the rocks, flowing down into a moderately-sized lake.

Relief engulfed Makoto from within and he leapt off his horse, guiding her over to the edge of the lake so she could drink from it. He kneeled and peered into the water. Moonlight shimmered on the surface, illuminating every droplet. Never before had Makoto seen such clean water; there were no fish or algae in the lake, not as much as a leaf or a branch floating down the stream or caught on the sides. It seemed almost divine and the mere sight of it made his scratchy throat even drier.

He cupped his hands and let the water flood his palms, gratefully drinking as much as he could get. The water tasted even better than it looked, fresh and crisp like it rejuvenated him from the inside.

Once he'd quenched his thirst, Makoto checked the trees to see if anyone was around. When he was sure the coast was clear, he disrobed himself and dove into the water headfirst.

When he broke through the surface, he felt reborn. The fatigue and strain of his travels slipped off him, leaving nothing but contentment and serenity in his heart. Although he was miles removed from home, Makoto had never felt quite as comfortable as he did within this lake.

Alas, this feeling did not last.

A shadow moved behind the waterfall and Makoto let out a strangled screech, hastily covering his nude chest. Through the stream emerged a man, someone whose presence he hadn't noticed before.

Fear spread through Makoto's body like he'd been hit with a poison-tipped arrow; he was alone in the dark forest in a rather compromising position. Even if he hadn't been, he was not exactly the type suited for combat anyway and he saw no opportunity to make a quick escape.

But when the man stepped forward and the moonlight showered over his face, Makoto's fear evaporated.

Long, dark robes that reached down to the ground were wrapped around his slender body. Pointed ears poked through a curtain of dark hair, framing his small face. His features were soft and elegant and his pale skin contrasted the darkness of the night. But the most mesmerising parts of him were his eyes, blue and piercing. Like he could peer straight into the past, present and future.

Elves were rumoured to be gorgeous and although Makoto had never seen one in person, he was certain this man was among the most beautiful in their entire species. His appearance made him forget about the world around him, enchanted by a single glance.

But then, the elf's expression shifted, from neutral to confused. Or rather, shocked.

"Who are you?" he said, and despite the vibrant distress in his tone, his voice had a calming effect on Makoto. "How did you find this place?"

"Oh, um I," Makoto stuttered, unsure which question to answer first. "I was looking for a place to rest for the night. I heard the waterfall, so I followed the sound and it brought me here."

"Impossible."

"Sorry, am I not supposed to be here?" Perhaps he was trespassing on elven territory without his awareness. "If that's the case, I'll leave immediately. I don't mean to cause any trouble."

The elf seemed to be at a loss for words and the uncomfortable, misplaced feeling in Makoto's stomach grew.

"The water…" the elf said after a brief pause, "did you drink from it?"

"Yeah," Makoto said, cowering into himself like he was being scolded by his mother. "My horse did, too. Is that bad?"

A loud groan left the elf's lips and before Makoto could blink, his robes were flying through the air and water splashed upwards, sending ripples of waves throughout the lake. He emerged right in front of Makoto's nose, shaking the beads from his hair.

It startled Makoto and heat warmed his cheeks when he realised how clear the water was and how he was still very much naked. The look inside the elf's eyes was fierce and sharp and Makoto wasn't quite sure whether he should be embarrassed or scared.

"Listen, if I did something that I shouldn't have, then I sincerely apologise," Makoto said, frantically waving his hands as if to prove his innocence. "Please believe me when I say that I had no ill intentions. I just wanted to wash up and fill my flasks, I meant no harm."

After another second of staring in scrutiny, the elf relented. "I believe you. What's your name?"

"Makoto. And yours?"

"I'm Haruka. Haru," the elf said. "Say, Makoto, you have no idea where you are, do you?"

"Not a clue." Makoto sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck.

"This is the Sacred Moon Spring. Every droplet of this spring has been infused with ancient magic and every full moon, its magical properties are replenished and the water is at its most powerful." Haruka looked up at the sky and Makoto followed his line of vision; the moon was large and round, standing out brightly between the trees.

This was not good. No wonder he felt so refreshed. "We drank from the sacred, magic water…" Makoto stated the obvious. "So, what happens now?"

"I don't know. My clan has been guarding this spring for centuries, but no human has ever come near here, let alone drank from the water," Haruka said, "To be honest, I'm not sure how you even found this place. There's a protective spell around this area, a barrier that's supposed to keep all non-elven creatures out. Not even birds or deer can pass through."

"Oh," Makoto said, drawing circles on the surface with his fingers, "Well, there's this story in my family that my mother's great-great-grandmother was a Woodland Elf, but I always thought that was just a tale. Do you think it could be true?"

Haruka shrugged. "I guess it is. I don't have any other explanation why you would be allowed to pass through. The barrier must've detected elven blood in you."

"But there's so much more human blood in me, and I don't look like an elf at all."

"You don't," Haruka said as he took a step closer. "But your eyes do."

Makoto frowned. "My eyes?"

"Hm. They're… vibrant." When Haruka noticed how close he'd gotten and how breathy his voice had been, he blushed all the way up to his ears and increased the distance between their bodies. The pink hue looked immensely cute against his pearly skin. He coughed and tried to regain his aloof demeanour. "So, I suppose you are a descendent of a Woodland Elf."

"But what about my horse? I don't think she had a great-great-grandmother who was an elf."

"Were you riding her when you arrived here?" When Makoto nodded, Haruka said, "Then that's why. You lead her here, and your authority granted her permission to pass through, too."

That did make sense, as much as any of this magical spring situation could. Maybe there was an off chance he had bumped his head against a low hanging branch and was hallucinating, or maybe he fell asleep beneath a willow and this was all a dream. But was his simple mind truly capable of conjuring up something so fantastical, or someone as beautiful as Haruka?

Ashamed of his thoughts, Makoto said, "If I'm not supposed to be here, then I shall leave. I wouldn't want to disturb the balance of this place."

"You can stay, if you'd like," Haruka said, brushing his fringe back to appear nonchalant, "if the barrier let you through, then I see no reason to reject your presence."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to impose on this sacred place. If there's a barrier to keep humans out, then I can't imagine it's okay for a human to bathe himself in this water."

"As the guardian of this sacred place, I'm sure," Haruka said, "To be honest with you, no one is allowed to touch this water with their bare hands, not even I. It's used in important rituals in my clan."

"Then I should get out! I'm so sorry," Makoto said in a combination of disbelief and panic; Haruka didn't seem to care, but the last thing he wanted was to be struck with an elven curse if anyone else found out.

A hand on his shoulder held him back. It was small and felt cold, yet it also emitted a strange sort of heat.

"You already touched it and drank from it, so I don't see why I would send you away now. The water is already contaminated, and truthfully, it was long before you even got here."

"What do you mean?"

"How could I guard such a beautiful spring without going for a swim every night? There truly is no water like it." For a second, a hint of an adorable smile was visible on Haruka's face before he let himself fall backwards underwater and Makoto couldn't help but laugh. Haruka was the first elf he'd ever met and a rather odd one at that, but Makoto had an inkling they were going to get along very well.

All throughout the night, Makoto stayed inside the spring and talked with Haruka while floating beside him. They discussed their everyday lives, Makoto's family and his apprenticeship at a blacksmith a couple of towns away from his home, Haruka's clan and their traditions - and Haruka's disinterest in adhering to them -, how Haruka became the guardian of the spring and what effects the water could possibly have on Makoto and his horse.

The hours flew by and Makoto completely lost himself in their conversations and in Haruka. He didn't sleep a wink, but the water energised him like no amount of rest could and there was nothing that could whisk him away from this place. That wasn't because of elven magic, though, but because of Haruka. Makoto's suspicions were confirmed; Haruka turned out to be just as beautiful on the inside as he was on the outside.

Many things about his future were uncertain now, but there was one thing Makoto knew for sure: this would not be the last night Haruka and he spent together.

#i'm sorry i'm stupid #makoharu #makoharu fic #my fic #fantober2020 #colourful days with you #this is an idea i've had for so long now #i'm glad i finally got the chance to write something in this universe

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littlemessyjessi · 4 years

Text

“Carnivore”: A Dracula Story: Plus Size Reader: Chapter 2

BBC/ Netflix Dracula Imagine

Warning: Mentions of cannibalism, violence kink and taxidermy. Just a warning. Enjoy.

I had never been what I would call a morning person.

Unless by morning you meant 12 a.m.

If you meant being active when everyone else was asleep in bed then yeah, sure- I was a morning person.

But when the birds started to chirp and the people began to busy about... I. Was. Out.

Which was exactly why I was so extremely grateful to my butcher who stayed open to the wonderfully spry hour of eleven at night.

Bless his soul.

Joe was honestly a saint at times and I had no problem giving him my business.

I always peeled some off the top of our kills to bring home to my meat freezers but for my main diet...I needed a butcher and that was just that.

I arrived there at precisely 9 pm and I was greeted with a smile as I came through the door.

"Ah, my favorite creature of the night!" came the rather chipper voice of Joe.

I glanced up at him, "Evening, Joe."

"I have your usual ready." he said. "It's just in the back."

"Sounds wonderful." I said dragging the large rolling cooler I'd brought with me to the front and wheeling it over to him.

"You're the only woman I know who actually comes in here with an ice chest. Weekly. Sometimes twice a week." he teased.

"Yeah, well, I'm a special breed." I said taking out the cash and handing it to him.

It was always the same and I paid him in cash...with a good tip.

Say what you will but tipping well made all the difference with people.

"I have some exotic game for you as well." I said. "It's in there before you fill it up."

"Keep your money then." he said with a smile. "We'll call it a deal."

"Joe." I said with a pointed look. "I bring you my business because I want to and I bring the exotic meat because A.) I know you can appreciate such a thing and B.) I adore the service. So please don't insult me and just accept the gift and keep the money. Besides, last I heard you had a new baby on the way."

"For a vampire, you're awfully nice." he winked.

"What makes you think I'm a vampire?" I asked lifting a brow at him in question.

He just winked, "Oh, that's right it's werewolves that consume human flesh."

I stared at him and for a moment I had a mild panic attack.

Did he know?

How did he know?

He burst into laughter a second laughter, "I'm only joking! Or was a spot on about your extracurricular activites?"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"According to Marcus, you seemed to have quite the fondness for biting." he said speaking of a mutual friend that I may or may not have toyed with a few times.

Purely sexual of course.

Although, the man was a fine specimen and should I ever choose to murder him...he would make excellent steaks amongst other things.

"And how would you know such things?" I asked.

"He and Dylan are close." he said with a knowing smirk.

"Yes, well perhaps you and your husband should stay out of my 'extracurriculars' as you call them." I said, half joking, half dead serious.

Though in truth, Joe never took anything I said like that to heart.

I was what he like to call "Dangerously Adorable".

I abhored the term but it was endearing affectionate in a way, I suppose.

"Just fetch my meat, butcher boy." I said. "Before I decided to eat you."

"Ooooh, kinky." he teased. "I could probably convince Dylan to threeway. Neither of us have been with a woman in a long time."

I threw my pen at him to make him move and the sound of his laughter could be heard as he ventured into the back.

Moments later he emerged with my cooler and a basket on top.

"What's this?" I asked lifting a brow at the little brown thing. "Do I look like Little Red Riding Hood to you?"

"Yes sometimes you do give me that vibe." he laughed. "But in that basket are two special things for you. One is a considerable amount of duck eggs and a jar of duck fat. They're from my mother. She really appreciated the package you sent her when she was sick. I know you like to pretend you a cold heartless-"

"Stop talking, you'll ruin my reputation." I said with an unconvincing glare.

"Anyway, she wanted to say thank you." he said.

I made quick work of bidding him goodbye and got out of there.

He was one of the humans that I could tolerate being around for more than a little while...even if he was insufferable at times.

As I walked the streets with the basket on my arm and the cooler rolling behind me I thought of how conflicted I was with the nightlife of the city.

On the one hand, the convenience of having some establishments staying open all hours of the night was incredibly useful.

On the other, it usually meant conversation and I just had no patience for it sometimes.

Which is why it's so ironically cruel that the universe would put me in the path of someone who loved company.

"Hey, what's up, mami?"

I cut my eyes to the left to glare at the little heathen who looked me up and down.

Probably no older than twenty five.

A little younger than I would've liked and not really my type but attractive enough for me to toy with and end my boredom.

And certainly enough to make a meal out of it.

But was he awful enough to eat?

Was he some punk who just like to catcall?

As disgusting as it was .... did he have other motives?

"Darling, there you are!" entered a new, richly accented voice that I was unaccustomed to. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

I turned in time to see a man who was every BIT my type.

Older and classically handsome.

Like an old Hollywood movie star.

Tall and strong with years of aged muscle.

Not the roid rage muscles that the youth were so fascinated with today.

I likened that to the sensation of chewing tire threads.

No...this man...

This man was nothing short of delectable.

And damn him for being a knight in shining armor.

I so would have enjoyed feasting on his flesh.

"Hello, Darling..." I said slowly as he came closer to me and wrapped me in his embraced.

He unusually cool to the touch, not that I minded since I absolutely detested the sensation of being hot and sweaty.

He offered the young man a 'friendly' smile that seemed to say 'back off' behind the mask of politeness and the kid ran off.

"Thank you..." I said pulling away from the man. "That was very kind of you."

"No problem." he said. "I fear the boy might not have had the purest plans for you in mind."

"And you would know this how?" I asked curiously.

"Because I have been a young man near a beautiful woman before." he smirked.

"So lust justifies rape to you then?" I countered.

"No." he said. "But it can cloud the mind and produce a level of stupidity. He might not have attempted to force himself upon you but he definitely would've touched without your permission."

"As you did when you took me in your arms?" I asked pointedly.

"That's different." he laughed a bit, seemingly shocked by the cheek of it all.

"How? Because you chose to play the Knight in Shining Armor?" I challenged. "Perhaps I was playing Little Red and I was looking for a Big Bad Wolf to eat me up after all."

"Well you would fit the bill. A tantalizing tart with a basket and all." he said, a slight air of irritation oozing from him beneath the mask of charm. "I'm sorry if I have offended you. I only meant-."

"I'm not offended." I cut him off. "I'm just a massive bitch and not much of a people person."

His handsome face pulled up into a grin and he laughed heartily.

"You are a refreshing creature aren't you?" he said.

"You have no idea." I said. "Good night, sir."

"Dracula." he said extending his hand.

I lifted an eyebrow at him momentarily before leaning forward and whispering my name into his ear before placing a small kiss to his cheek.

"Good night, Dracula." I said. "Now I must be off before the Big Bad Wolf comes back."

"Perhaps it's the wolf that chased the young pup away." he challenged.

I smirked, "Well, then, Mr. Wolf. If you're clever and hungry enough, you shouldn't have a problem tracking me down then."

I realized that those words were dangerous.

They were provacative and even luring to a stalker.

He could've easily been a psychopath.

But what did I care?

I could either have some fun with him and if he bid me harm....I'd simply have him for breakfast in the morning.

----------------

Hello, darlings!

@frankie2902

@pleasantdreamqueen @becrazy–beyou

@littledeadrottinghood @blackirisposts

@therealmrshale @woodworthti666 @thegreatirene@fanfictionandjunk

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Love, Kenny

#dracula #bbc dracula #netflix dracula #dracula x ps reader #dracula x plus size reader #ps reader #plus size reader

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omoghouls · 5 years

Note

request- a ghoul is desperate on the way to the next show, the drive will be hours and they're too embarrassed to tell anyone. they're so desperate they seem sick so the others keep giving them water. they get to a point where they're quietly sobbing and shaking as they spurt & eventually let go onto themselves getting the seats and floor wet as well as their clothes

(Yall know when given the opportunity that ghoul of choice is spesh 😂)

The gentle purr of the engine caused the ghoul to stir from his slumber. Special groaned as he rolled to his side, green eyes snapping open as he felt his body beginning to roll off. His tail whipped around as the ghoul rubbed at his face, looking around confusedly when he saw the small couch behind him.

"Morin' sleeping beauty."

Special looked to the seated body opposite to his.

"What, what time is it?" He sleepily mumbled as he clawed his way back onto the couch.

Omega glanced to his covered wrist, "Eh, quarter past 'you missed breakfast and the meeting'," the larger ghoul said.

"Why the fuck didn't anyone wake me up?" Special ask, running his clawed fingers through his short locks, a concerned look in his eyes.

Omega shrugged, "You were fast asleep there, haven't seen you that deep into a slumber in months, didn't wanna wake you," he mused, " 'sides wasn't even really a meeting, Papa just had a group talking to about sticking to curfew."

The smaller ghoul's shoulders slumped, "Still would've been nice to go with y'all."

Omega chuckled, "Well do not worry, you've still got that shitty cereal you like and all of us breathing down eachother necks 'til we get to the next state," he gave, patting Special's back, his hand lingering down as the ghoul stood up.

"You act like that's a punishment to me," he chuffed, walking to the small countertop, pouring water into the kettle before turning it on.

[[MORE]]

"If you can handle 12 hours of Alpha's practicing and Air crpytic-ness, then I'm calling you a saint."

Special poured the hot water into the mug, "Then I supposed I'd have to be banished from the clergy."

The two laughed, letting themselves relish in the stillness and silence in the bus.

"So, where is everyone else?" Special asked as he placed his empty mug in the sink.

"Final wanderings 'round the place, washroom breaks-"

"Things still busted?" Special interrupted, jutting his thumb towards the small washroom door.

Omega nodded, "Said it'd be fixed when we get into Denver, sink still works though."

Special made a slight face as he came back to sit with the other ghoul, "Remind me not to wash my hands in there again," he smiled, ears perking up when the chittered voices of the other ghoul's neared close.

12 hours on the bus didn't seem too bad. It would give the spokesghoul ample time to think through possible interview questions and see how the others were.

The ghoul stretched his legs that had been tucked under him out after the idle hours of finishing up certain paper work styled clergy duties. Despite being on a bus thousands of miles away, the work was never over.

Special paused in his movements when a firmiliar taut sensation became all too noticeable in his lower abdomen. The ghoul chewed on his lower lip, it wasn't too bad, yet. He glanced around, his eyes settling on the passing signs and blurred billboards. Surely they were in need of a pit stop soon, he could wait it out until then.

Special's brow raised as he watched them drive past the gas station.

"We aren't stopping?" He questioned aloud

"Guess it ain't bus accessible," a voice gave.

The earth ghoul plopped down besides the spokesghoul, " 'sides, we've only been on the road for three hours."

Special's heart sank slightly, bus time never was the same as linear time.

Earth tilted his head as he watched the seemingly disappointed expression from the other ghoul, noting the slightest flushing over his cheeks.

"You all right, Spesh?"

The ghoul glanced away for a split second as he thought of something to say.

"Oh yes, perfectly, perfectly fine just," he swooped his head down, "just a bit uh, carsick, bus sick in this situation I guess."

A little white lie, no harm no fowl.

The earth ghoul nodded slowly, the slight suspicion was pushed to the side at the notion of one of his own being unwell. The ghoul held a clawed finger up as he leaned over, pulling a bottle of water and placing it on the spokesghoul's lap.

Special looked to the bottle then back to the earth ghoul.

"It'll help with the nausea, 'least that's what Papa said one time," Earth explained as he picked up the bottle once more, unscrewing the lid, holding it out.

There was hesitancy before the ghoul took hold of the water bottle, setting it to his lips and taking a small sip.

Earth raised a brow, "Think you could handle a bit more there? A bird sip wont help you."

No. No he couldn't.

"Oh uh, yeah," Special mumbled between the lid before tiliting his head back, taking a larger swig; wincing as the water settled in his stomach, but, how long would it stay there?

Special sat the nearly finished drink on the floor, wiping away the excess on his chin, glancing over to the earth ghoul.

Earth gave a nod of approval, lightly patting Special's leg before standing up, "Good, just try and take it easy and rest up."

The spokesghoul bit back a groan as he leaned his head back.

This was going to be a long ride.

The hours felt as if they just continued to drag on longer and longer with each passing of blurred road signs. Special rubbed at his eyes, glancing to the book he had long since abandoned. He crossed his ankles as he moved his hands to his sides, gripping lightly at the seat cushion.

It was no longer a nuisance he could brush off, his bladder ached, skin tautly pressed against his slacks.

Special shifted in his seat for the unknownth time in that hour. His ears twitched at the sound of the washroom door clicking open.

He knew he could simply do as the others were so freely doing; pee in the sink and be done with this growing issue. However, sometimes in him stopped him each time he started to stand.

He was one of the elder ghouls on the bus, he of all ghoul's should have better control of his body and be able to wait.

Idly, Special footed the near empty bottle, the thought crossed his mind more than once since he had been made to drink it's contents.

Too much of a hassle, a mess and the others would know exactly why he was shuffling back to the bunking area with an empty bottle.

The ghoul felt eyes on the back of his neck, slowly he turned to come face to face with the Omega ghoul.

"Eveything okay? Been missing your chatterboxing."

"Yes. I'm fine," he said, perhaps a bit more curt than intended.

Omega squinted, "Don't sound find to me, Earth mentioned you were feeling a bit woozy, still feel that way?"

Special squirmed as he nodded slowly, "A bit, yeah."

"Why don't you lay down? Others wouldn't mind."

Special shook his head, knowing that if he were to move so much of an inch it would be game over.

"No? Okay how about some more water? Been a while since you last drank," Omega mused as he swiped the bottle beneath Special's foot.

Special's eyes widened at the thought of even attempting to fit a drop extra into his overly filled bladder.

"N-no thank you, it's alright, I just need t-to sit." Special weakly gave, tail curling around his ankle as he spoke, desperately trying to keep his composure.

"I'll get it for ya, think I still got some filtered water in there," the bigger ghoul said as he stood up, rummaging through the mini fridge, despite the small noises of protest coming from the smaller ghoul. He placed a container on the counter before pulling himself back up, walking back to the couch.

Omega began to pour the water into the bottle, the liquid echoing between the plastic bottle.

It was too much for the spokesghoul. Special let out a yelp, hands shoving between his thighs, shuddering frame as he doubled over, chittering anxiously as his bladder gave in.

The other's attention was drawn to the ghoulish noises spouting from the spokesghoul, just barely audible over the hissing noise that as well came from the ghoul.

The warm urine pooled around his seated body, what wasnt absorbed by the fabrics of his clothing or couch slowly dribbled into the floor, collecting into a small puddle.

A hushed silence washed over the bus as the stream finally tapered off, leaving Special's quivering, panting breaths to fill the silent air.

He wanted nothing more than to just hide. However, there was no such thing on a bus. Special's eyes locked onto the glistening puddle beneath him.

"Spesh?" Omega finally broke the silence.

Special sniffled, dryly swallowing around the growing lump in his throat.

"Why didn't you go? I know the sink isn't the most appealing," he asked, sitting beside the smaller ghoul.

He shrugged,lifting his shoulders to his ears, "I-I wanted to be able to ho-hold it," Special finally gave, "I'm sorry," his voice cracking.

Omega shook his head, gently tilting the others chin to face his, "Hey, it's okay, buddy. Happens to the best of us, don't think anyone else here hasn't pissed themselves before?" He paused, "It's alright, no ones upset, just glad you're feeling better."

Special leaned into the touch, exhausted from the hours long hold.

"How 'bout we get you cleaned up before you fall asleep huh?" The bigger ghoul said as he stood, helping the other to his feet.

Special nodded, pressing his face into the others chest as they walked into the back to grab the spare uniforms.

He was fortunate for such understanding bandmates.

#omorashi #omocute #nsfc #nameless ghouls #special ghoul #omega ghoul #m #OMG IM SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS IS A A A

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: ? Janis: Save you the details, want to brain my sister as per Janis: but I need to ask you for a huge favour on her behalf Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: hang on, let 'em play for a sec Jimmy: ... Jimmy: alright, go on Janis: 😑 Janis: don't you start Janis: well she's got a date that she doesn't want to go on, but is gonna 'cos it'll piss Mia off/potentially show her up Janis: aware this is like a bad, really bad, teen drama-edy but hold on Janis: but like she really doesn't want to go 'cos she's her and he sounds like a twat tbf so she wants to double-date it Janis: which, undeniably, would piss Mia off more so bonus if we can deal being around her Janis: we don't have to stay ages, do it for the 'gram and bounce, old skool Jimmy: 1. I was only taking the piss out of her, calm down Jimmy: 2. this is bollocks but I heard you at piss Mia off Jimmy: 3. where & when? Janis: 1. this is how she's got me rn soz like tread carefully boy 🐍 Janis: 2. I know Janis: 3. [Place and time] Janis: Don't worry, I'm paying if he don't offer, he's some posh kid Mia wants on/has been on, apparently Jimmy: I dunno where that place is but it sounds fancy as shit Jimmy: outfit crisis like Janis: Am I gonna have to talk you down in the changing room too, like Janis: well I've been instructed to look 🔥 so she's either #over you or trusts you to bring it, which is rude Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: calm me down in there if you wanna Jimmy: that'd be hot Jimmy: I always look 🔥 & this whole town knows it babe 👌 Janis: Might make shopping bearable, give you that Janis: 😏 Don't disagree Jimmy: let's go shopping then Janis: Easily persuaded, you 😂 Jimmy: you don't wanna? sounds fake Janis: Didn't say that Janis: Called you easy, little bit Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Awh baby Janis: so mean to you Jimmy: 😭 me Jimmy: enjoy your lattes everyone, nowt to see Janis: Such a 💔 mental image Janis: hope Pete is there to comfort you Janis: that's a sexy one Jimmy: your shout for 💔 'cause your boyfriend ain't in today Janis: Nooooooo Janis: won't bother coming in now Janis: what's the point Jimmy: I knew that's why you weren't rushing Jimmy: obvious you Janis: You know Janis: 'til I get his number, gotta keep you sweet Jimmy: keep me sweet enough I'll give you it Janis: How sweet is that then? Jimmy: I'd have to find where the manager's left everyone's contact details Jimmy: least a few sugars Janis: 😏 keep it in mind Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let me know Janis: bit mad you couldn't even pretend you're having a torrid affair with him but still like ya Jimmy: bit mad you want me to instead of being jealous but still like you too Jimmy: suppose Janis: I can be jealous Janis: jealous and aroused Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll keep it in mind Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: what are you up to actually Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: what are you doing? Jimmy: other than plotting Gracie's murder Janis: Literally that's all I've got done today thanks to her 😑 Janis: one minute I'm helping her find outfits, the next she's telling me to fuck off basically Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: must be catching Jimmy: Cass is in a right strop Janis: Cass no, don't let the side down Janis: you know why or just 'cos? Jimmy: the prospect of family dinner ain't got none of us full of the joys Jimmy: but I reckon she's mostly bored Jimmy: she ain't done nowt this hol really 'cause I'm always working & leaving her to look after Bobs Janis: Yeah, makes sense Janis: You Dad needs to find a proper childminder, like Jimmy: she used to be out with her mates loads before Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: can't be the dickhead arranging playdates for a 12 year old Janis: Well, Grace did say she'd babysit for you as thanks Janis: so if she met Bobs and he wasn't completely terrified of her Janis: Cass could go out for a bit, do her own thing Jimmy: that'd be decent Janis: I could also go round there, more reg like, take him and Twix out to the park Janis: even if it's like an hour, better than nothing, right? Janis: not like your Dad is there to nope it so Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: actually Jimmy: You're just Janis: It's no big, you're the one actually working Jimmy: yeah but they ain't your siblings Jimmy: only your 🐶 Janis: Yeah but you know, they're alright, as are you Janis: it's only for the rest of the hols anyways Jimmy: steady on, gonna make me fall in love with you Janis: 😏 idiot Jimmy: I put a spare key out so you can go whenever you want Jimmy: Cass has lost 'bout 4 since we've been here Jimmy: reckon she only does it to piss my dad off Janis: Feel it Janis: he deserves it Jimmy: probably in the bin or summat Jimmy: find 'em all under her pillow Janis: making a statement necklace Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she does usually wear it round, well spotted Janis: I 👀 all Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: I better stop making eyes at the customers then Janis: How else you gon' get tips Jimmy: #where'sthejealousy? Jimmy: get yourself a girlfriend who don't give a shit, lads Janis: what you want me to be jealous for so bad? Jimmy: I'm just pissing about, Janet Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Likely story Jimmy: I miss you, there's one Janis: I miss you too Janis: and if you've been flirting with any old ladies Imma flip shit okay Jimmy: let's say I have 'cause I wanna see you fuck shit up at the CG Jimmy: & just see you Jimmy: so 👵💕 Janis: 😡😡😡 Janis: catch these hands deidra you old hussy Janis: get your own man Jimmy: have a heart babe he died in WWII Janis: probs look just like him Janis: least the dementia telling her so Jimmy: it's 'cause I'm so 💪 Jimmy: & got all them medals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: for being a prize dickhead, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Janis: don't act all devvo with me now, playing hero all afternoon Jimmy: come see me I'm so bored Janis: Have you saved up a break or nah Janis: real jealousy over them 🚬s Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & I finish soon Jimmy: we can go shopping Janis: Yeah? Janis: Okay then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: maybe I'll find something to cheer Cass up while we're there Janis: You're so nice Jimmy: nah, she's a good kid Jimmy: didn't ask for nowt of this Janis: Yeah Janis: none of yous did Janis: so you're still nice Jimmy: more my fault than hers that we moved Jimmy: wedding crashing & baby daddy drama, remember? 🙄 Jimmy: to hear my dad tell it like Janis: Yeah but that's like Janis: not actual is it Jimmy: don't stop him Jimmy: he'd have to take some blame then Janis: Heaven forbid Janis: My parents always act like they're blaming themselves but they just do it so people disagree Janis: dead sly Jimmy: sounds like when all your sister's mates say how much weight they've put on so the others will rush to say nah Jimmy: you ain't Tammy you're gorg babes! Janis: Literally 🙄 Janis: I hate that shit Janis: but I'm up myself for at least owning it and not forcing everyone into the pantomime okay Jimmy: I always wanna be like maybe don't order a croissant then, babes, but #tips so Janis: 😂 Janis: You're such a dick Janis: I love it, never change Jimmy: least your sister never eats owt Jimmy: even Mia orders shit to stare at Janis: they're all idiots Janis: just in different ways Jimmy: yeah, I got that Jimmy: probably spent more time with 'em these hols than you've ever had to Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: half of 'em are named after countries or colours Jimmy: ?? Janis: Basic from birth Janis: destined to be each other's shitty friend Jimmy: my dad did me that one decent shout Jimmy: tah, Ian Janis: 😂 Janis: Your name suits you Jimmy: hang on, what's yours again? Jimmy: gimme a sec & I can return the compliment Jimmy: Juliet, yeah? Very real Janis: Ha ha 🖕 Janis: It's an old woman's name so you should love it Jimmy: I knew I liked you for SOME reason Jimmy: there it is Janis: Your perviness never letting you down freak Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: so romantic, babe Janis: That ain't why you're with me Jimmy: yeah it is, last of the greats, remember? Jimmy: twitter agreed Janis: How could I forget Janis: sent me my first nude awh 💕 Jimmy: did you want it then though? Janis: You were hot, wasn't gonna say no Janis: that fake sext was 🔥 Jimmy: I'm an artistic Jimmy: boy Janis: Yep, totally focused on your talent, boy Jimmy: I wanted to impress you Jimmy: for real Janis: 😊 Janis: Well, you did Janis: for real Jimmy: alright, good Janis: You know EVERY bitch was thirsting after you then why wouldn't I? Jimmy: I've told you before, you ain't like 'em Jimmy: & you could kiss me how you did & just walk away Jimmy: so Janis: Sorry to disappoint but you looked good Janis: and it was funny Janis: and you actually did it Janis: so Jimmy: I always look good, am funny & accept challenges Janis: Go out with me then Jimmy: I'll think 'bout it Jimmy: remind me who you are Janis: 💔 Janis: so harsh Jimmy: you want me to be kind, baby? Janis: yes Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: I'll be so kind Janis: 😍 Janis: Am I mean Jimmy: not to me Jimmy: I dunno how you're chatting to everyone else Janis: oh, exactly like this Janis: my technique Jimmy: nah then, you're 👌 Janis: 😏 Good good Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: why? Janis: Grace reckons I'm basically Hitler Stalin and Pol Pot in one Janis: if she knew who the last two were Jimmy: she's friends with Mia her judgement's for shit Janis: True Jimmy: do you reckon you're mean to her? Janis: No Janis: Unless I intend to Janis: she just overreacts Jimmy was timed out 4 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 4 days ago Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: Yeah, you're right Janis: only doing this to piss off Mia Jimmy: #same Jimmy: & for the free babysitting 👌 Janis: 👍 too right Janis: cash that in whenever Janis: she thinks Bobby is cute Janis: hopefully a good thing, not a 🚩 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I know I ain't interested girl but you can the bar a bit higher Jimmy: aim* Janis: Under 13 is honestly not a #mood babes Jimmy: more about the over 50s but go on, like Janis: 😂 different strokes, I guess Janis: how non-shamey was that Jimmy: decent use of the word strokes Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: 🙇 Janis: I try Janis: 'til I get grey hair how else am I keeping you interested Jimmy: get to the hair salon, rich girl Janis: 😏 get a Brazilian blowout whilst I'm there Jimmy: I can't even fake 👍 Jimmy: stop Janis: I'm surprised you know what that is Janis: 100% sit with my sister and co and bitch about me, confirmed Jimmy: I don't but the threat was clear Janis: You're cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: but I like you Jimmy: & what the fuck is it then? Janis: not 100% what is Brazilian about it but Gracie comes out looking like a show pony Jimmy: not very beachy or hot weather appropriate but alright Jimmy: but not alright, nah Jimmy: don't Janis: it takes hours Janis: fat chance Janis: can think of better things to do Jimmy: if you ever can't, call me Jimmy: I can think of loads Janis: Good to know Janis: knew there was a reason I was dating you, like Jimmy: #formybrain Janis: Yep Janis: first thing I noticed 'bout you Jimmy: I get that a lot Jimmy: not right now though Jimmy: I'm so tired Janis: 😔 Janis: not a store room you can nap in Jimmy: ☕ shop, mate Jimmy: easy fix Janis: 🤢 Janis: you're gonna need to go 🚬 'fore you kiss me then Jimmy: demanding you Jimmy: but yeah it is 🤢 Janis: You're somehow just finding out? Okay Jimmy: piss off Janis: Just sayin' don't go spreading that around, you're meant to know exactly how demanding I am by now, Christ Janis: not that frigid Jimmy: I'm just saying piss off Janis: ? okay Jimmy: you're Janis: hello? Janis: 😴? Jimmy: I'm alive, no tah to you Jimmy: gimme more mental images of how demanding you are & finish the job like Janis: Ahh 😏 Janis: Nah, leave you wondering and hanging on Janis: bitch like that Jimmy: why I hate you so much Janis: I know Janis: Makes it more fun Jimmy: what happened to wanting me to be kind? Jimmy: fickle you Janis: 🤷 Janis: trying to keep you awake and on your toes, boy Janis: manager can thank me Jimmy: I'd rather do it Jimmy: Unless you're 😍 for him now too Jimmy: love a man of mystery, yeah Janis: 😂 yeah, you're too familiar now Janis: gotta go Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what the fuck are we gonna do on this double date? Jimmy: never done one Janis: Me either, oddly enough Janis: I hope she'd have picked someone else if it was a keys in the middle situation Janis: but maybe not, omg Janis: she's conned us Jimmy: Mia would pop up from behind a plant or summat Jimmy: lunge for you Jimmy: in a sexy/threatening way Janis: 😬 Janis: we gotta cancel rn immediately Jimmy: #cancelher Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Babe don't let her get me Jimmy: not gonna 💪 Jimmy: such a hero like that Janis: I won't let Grace wifeswap you Janis: not until I've 👀 this dickhead anyway Jimmy: tah Jimmy: like I said, them brazilian hair bollocks are doing nowt for me Jimmy: she'd end up disappointed Janis: 💔 Janis: don't need her pity so nah, not happening Jimmy: I'd have to hit up that look but don't touch girl for tips Jimmy: can't remember her name so Jimmy: just the weak ankles Janis: who Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: who's this lad then? big spender but what else? Janis: 🤷 Janis: Goes to a School Mia wishes but too thick that even money can't, appaz Janis: not white, I think she said Janis: ego Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: this is gonna be a right laugh, isn't it? Janis: You ain't gotta ride him Janis: we'll have a drink and go Janis: might be enough of a dick that is a laugh tho so Jimmy: if I have to watch your sister try I know that's a laugh Jimmy: seen it before Jimmy: her flirting is 🥇 Janis: 🙄 Don't remind me Jimmy: show 'em how it's done babe Jimmy: fancy places always have hot waiters Janis: Livin' for the dramatics always, you Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: #artist Jimmy: gotta suffer for that 🎨 Janis: use your 😥 to paint out that pain Jimmy: use my 😭 Janis: No half-measures Janis: I know, babe Jimmy: pete ain't here, you're gonna be off fucking the waiting staff Jimmy: I mean Jimmy: just 💔 Janis: Well we're all devestated about Pete, first of all Janis: where is he, what does he do with his free time Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: he's in a band 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna drunk dial Barry, see if we can't hug it out Janis: OH BITCH Janis: really withholding that info from me weren't ya Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 100% the bassist Jimmy: he is yeah Jimmy: I've been on his insta 'cause that loved up like Janis: So hot Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: Even though I'm mad you're tryna keep him all to yourself Janis: dickhead Jimmy: first come first serve, Janet Jimmy: I saw him way before you Janis: Yeah but I really SEE him, you know? Janis: we've got a connection Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Groupie mode activated Janis: bet they're SO good Jimmy: [sends his like soundcloud or whatever people use idk 'cause obvs linked to the insta] Jimmy: 👍👍👍👍👍 Janis: Come thru, you stalker Jimmy: told you 😍😍😍 Jimmy: step your game up, Judy Janis: in stalking or being your actual bae Janis: #therealquestionsnogirlshouldhavetoask Jimmy: you don't have to ask it Jimmy: bit nosy you Jimmy: #stillnotadecentstalkerthough Janis: Not allowed to ask questions now Janis: that's your bit not mine anyways Jimmy: #stayinyourlane Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: I'll stay home then 👌 Jimmy: nah you won't Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know you've already left Janis: I could probably find Gracie Janis: follow the sobs Jimmy: go on Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: shut up Janis: be nice Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Janis: No, just love me Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want you, how's that? Janis: Works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't had no ☕ so we can make it work Janis: You should've Janis: not that mad really Jimmy: got a sudden rush on Jimmy: no time Jimmy: fuck you Pete Janis: Ugh Janis: fuck off people Jimmy: still had time to scroll though Jimmy: Pete's got a bird I reckon 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so mad 'bout it Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: Why are you trying to hurt me so bad Jimmy: 'cause I feel it too, babe Janis: I feel like all my dreams are dead Janis: crying on this bus Jimmy: tweet that at him Jimmy: he can use it for a lyric Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: hi, we've not properly met but 💔 Jimmy: he'd love it Janis: Enough to chuck the gf orrr Janis: I ain't bothering otherwise Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: Awh, thanks babes 😘 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: love you 💕 Janis: love you too 💕 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: back in the #friendzone Jimmy: I get it, you've seen an in with your true love, get on it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #wheresthejealousy? Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍 Jimmy: who am I fighting though? Pete ain't in Janis: Take it out on me for now Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Not saying you gotta remind me who's name to say but you know Janis: can't hurt, babe Jimmy: like I said, stay in your lane Jimmy: that's my shout Janis: 😂 Janis: Good thing you're #unforgettable Jimmy: are you hungry 'cause I am Janis: oh baby 🤤 Janis: but nah Janis: could eat Jimmy: nah you have to really want it Jimmy: the food here ain't worth a maybe Jimmy: starving or don't bother Janis: watch you eat then Janis: #creeper Jimmy: sexy Janis: Believe it Janis: watch you sleep later Jimmy: this is why you're last of the great romantics, love Janis: you're so 🍀 Jimmy: hang on, let me tweet it Jimmy: let the fans know Janis: gotta make the most of the ban lift Jimmy: that better not be a challenge, girl Janis: such a slag Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Jus' sayin' Janis: save a lil something just for me, yeah? 💔 Jimmy: there's the jealousy Jimmy: we found it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: it's all for you, girl Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: you on your way to make me? Jimmy: 'cause til then nah Janis: Such a talker Janis: never take a break, you Jimmy: you love it though Janis: You reckon? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: all 'bout the noises you Janis: 😳 Janis: Don't be chatting that when you ain't here to back it up Jimmy: I will when you get here Jimmy: so come on Janis: can't blame me for being slow Janis: I ain't running and I ain't the driver so Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell whoever is to get a move on Jimmy: #medicalemergency Janis: Sadly not our bus driver bestie Janis: he'd understand Janis: be gutted it's me not you but you know Jimmy: he liked you too Jimmy: I'm just 🥇 after the latest ride Janis: thanks for the pep talk, babe Janis: so supportive Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & always ready with a challenge Janis: I reckon I know what you're thinking Jimmy: ? Jimmy: go on Janis: Doesn't take a genius to work out you want me to go for your title 🥇 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: save it for when our #1 fan is there though Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're actually in love with him Janis: 💔 Jimmy: he's a bit young for me Jimmy: but a decent Barry rebound I reckon Janis: Giving blowies for lifts, told ya Janis: with how cheap bus is, bit shaming but okay, have a nice life Jimmy: cheap for you, rich girl Jimmy: you gonna throw money 'round on this date, show this lad up? Janis: 😏😂 Janis: I don't know if I'm allowed to Janis: gonna need her to clarify what her actual plan here is Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you do what she tells you now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: you wanna re-write that sentence then? Janis: If the goal is to piss off Mia, idk if that'll help us achieve said goal Janis: there Janis: pedantic Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Gonna be that couple are we Janis: having a row and making the other people wanna die Jimmy: Are we? Janis: keep 🙄 and we'll see Jimmy: keep telling me what to do & we'll see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not 😍 for that Janis: noted Jimmy: unless it's like shhh go to sleep Jimmy: or summat Janis: You don't need to be told sleepyhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but nah I'm fighting it 💪🏆 Janis: sure you wanna go shopping and not snoozing? Jimmy: don't you wanna go? Janis: happy just to see you, darling Janis: seriously, whatever Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cass' potential mood upswing depends on it so Jimmy: we gotta Janis: Oh duh, forgot already Janis: your fault for being distracting Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haven't even been on twitter Jimmy: sort yourself out, Jenna Janis: Fine Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll get back to work then Janis: *is ignoring you shh* Jimmy: ☕☕🍪🥐☕ Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: Such a pervert Jimmy: I'm so busy I can't reply soz Jimmy: 👴💋 Janis: Hate you so much Jimmy: I hate you too, babe Janis: 😏 you ain't even funny Jimmy: I am Jimmy: you're good at faking but not that good Janis: Fine, give you that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: if that's all you're gonna gimme, guess I'll take it Janis: Let your old biddy customers tell you how handsome you are Jimmy: they are Jimmy: can barely hear my phone going Janis: must be being polite today too Janis: working for those tips Jimmy: they're polite so I don't have to be Jimmy: #blessed Janis: dickhead Jimmy: & you love it Janis: nice to know you're not a total arselick, yeah Janis: couldn't even fake date that Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: I'll pass on to my manager that he's out of the running Janis: I assume he's the chubby guy, mid 30s Janis: who I've literally seen once Jimmy: yeah, that's the one Janis: Thought so Janis: was already out of the running Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: gutted mate Jimmy: he'll be crying in the back when he realises Janis: Shoulda thought've that before he shouted at my mans in front of customers Janis: poor Pete Jimmy: that's why he's really off Jimmy: can't bear to show his face like Janis: So mad Jimmy: he'll write a decent song 'bout it Jimmy: be alright Janis: gf will console him Janis: I'll make an anon complaint about the manager like the unsung hero I am Jimmy: coming up 🌹s Jimmy: top one, pete Jimmy: proud of him Janis: you can't be proud of him he's older than you Jimmy: how's that work? Janis: you're a child Janis: he's a manly man Janis: that's how that works Jimmy: piss off am I or is he Jimmy: sounds faker than you've ever Janis: 😂 Janis: deal with it, boy Jimmy: deal with me Jimmy: girl Jimmy: I'm a better man than any Jimmy: including your true love Janis: Hot Jimmy: it will be when I prove it Janis: I was joking but now I'm Jimmy: I'll show you I'm not Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: Just Janis: you're killing me here Jimmy: I'll make it better Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: lowkey ages Janis: feels it Janis: still going 'round the houses here Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext like he did way back when] Jimmy: I reckon you should have something to read Jimmy: & think about Janis: I Janis: have you ever thought of doing that as a living Janis: you could Janis: way easier than slinging coffees probably Jimmy: maybe now I've got such a top muse Jimmy: you really inspire me Jimmy: [sends another one 'cause extra] Janis: Actually dead Janis: I did warn you Janis: Fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: it backfired, I was trying to keep you going til I can do everything I wrote down Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Everything, yeah? Jimmy: that was the plan but it's too late now Jimmy: gotta call Barry & see if he'll be my date to the funeral Jimmy: look so good in black he'll have to say yeah Janis: You're so mean Janis: don't talk about him right now Jimmy: what do you wanna talk about? Janis: You Janis: and me Jimmy: go on Janis: It's stupid how much I miss you when you ain't around Janis: touching you and kissing you Janis: all of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I want you so much Jimmy: all the time Jimmy: I don't feel stupid Jimmy: I feel Janis: I feel it too Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: 'cause it's good Jimmy: you're Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you make me feel really good, you know Janis: good Janis: that's what i wanna do Jimmy: anything else? Janis: i mean Janis: lots of things can fall under what makes you feel good so Janis: not really Jimmy: chat to me 'bout them Jimmy: drown out these customers for me Jimmy was timed out 30 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 26 hours ago Janis: All I can think about is how badly I wanna be alone with you in a changing room right now Jimmy: I'm thinking of places we can be alone here too, don't worry Jimmy: resourceful like that Janis: Man of many talents Jimmy: there's more privacy in this place than you'd think Jimmy: especially when your man Pete the only other smoker ain't here Janis: Why you been holding out on me Jimmy: blame your boyfriend, he's always on shift Jimmy: & I only just found out the disabled toilet gets so little use it's used as a cleaning supply cupboard Jimmy: must have better taste in coffee Janis: I intend to, add it to my list of grievances with him Janis: Clearly Janis: interesting Jimmy: you're gonna be over the character limit on these tweets, babe Jimmy: get typing Jimmy: the customer toilets are well nicer than ours, write an anon complaint 'bout that tah Janis: Got a lot to say Janis: you gonna let be vent to you? Jimmy: like I'm always saying, so chatty you Jimmy: but I've also said you can say what you want, loads of times so Jimmy: keep up, Jill Janis: You've also called me a horny mute enough times to give a bitch a complex so Janis: challenging that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 poor lass Jimmy: challenge accepted, if you're frustrated enough to need to vent, take 'em out on me Janis: 💔💔💔 so mean Janis: it is your fault, like Jimmy: it is Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: use your boyfriend Janis: Jesus Janis: I Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I want you to Janis: How are you so Janis: it's rude Jimmy: I've missed you Jimmy: is the answer Janis: I wish you didn't have to work all the time Janis: but it's good that you do or you'd be sick of the sight of me if I could see you as much as I want Jimmy: nah I wouldn't Jimmy: you're 🥇 remember Janis: You're gonna fuck me at School, yeah? Janis: I can't handle being around you all day and not at least kissing you Jimmy: if we have to be there then I have to Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: we'll find somewhere Janis: Loads of the lads chat like they have, probably bullshit for the most part but gotta be doable Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: I told you before, I'll get in trouble for you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: I really like you Janis: you're fun Jimmy: you Jimmy: but I won't spread it 'bout & ruin your 💪 rep Janis: Cheers 👍 Janis: my rep is so important, obvs Janis: so many friends and fans, so little time Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: just make time for me & it's alright Janis: you're the only one I want Jimmy: make me believe it when you get here Janis: you're gonna have no choice but to Janis: trust Jimmy: such a romantic Janis: don't take the piss, boy Janis: #medicalemergency remember Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: I already told you, you make me feel so good Jimmy: it's that's not #romance I don't want it Janis: Good Janis: don't be dumping me for some lovey-dovey bitch yet Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: too many grandmas to choose from Jimmy: I need time Janis: take your time Janis: as much as you need Janis: then some Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: wish you weren't right now Jimmy: REALLY need that break Janis: we're 5 minutes now Janis: unless any more of your faves decide to chat on their way off Jimmy: unless they wanna fall out with me Jimmy: better not Janis: 😂 let it be known Janis: oi sandra, better get a wriggle on Jimmy: Doris, leave it out Jimmy: put 'em all on blast Janis: must really like me 😏 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: must do Janis: 'cos you know I ain't gonna tip you as good Janis: how the rich stay rich Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: oh rich girl! 💔 bit rude but I can't say I'm surprised Jimmy: there's the real tip Jimmy: spend wisely Jimmy: you gonna need all your wealth to flex on this double date Janis: Obviously Janis: can't have him 💪 all over us Janis: clearly insufferable enough without that Jimmy: you gonna meet me 'round the back then? since you're slumming Jimmy: or you wanna flex on some 👵👴 too first? Janis: You know I gotta 👀 the competition Jimmy: doesn't exist, baby Jimmy: so just check me out & let's go Janis: that's right, tell me what I wanna hear Jimmy: I'd rather give you what you need but if you're 5 minutes away I guess we can talk a bit Janis: I know, such a hardship for me too Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: take that out on Doris & Bill 🥊 Janis: No, you Janis: I'm not the one who acts inappropriate with oldies Jimmy: only got your word for that Janis: 😑 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [more time passes than is usual] Janis: I'm getting off the bus Janis: you alright? Jimmy: rare appearance from your spurned love interest Jimmy: gonna make this more fun Janis: Which one? Jimmy: what did you call him, a chubby 30 year old? Jimmy: time to put on a show, girl Jimmy: let's see how 'down with the kids' he really wants to be Janis: I believe I was generous and gave him mid-30s Janis: which is when we find out he's 26 and the receding hairline is genetic, thanks Janis: chose a time to give a shit 🙄 but down for the challenge, obviously 🥇 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell me what I wanna hear, babe Jimmy: NEED to hear, like Janis: I'm outside Jimmy: come in then Jimmy: say hello Janis: No more talking, yeah Jimmy: I'm not refusing you Jimmy: not when you chat like that Jimmy: come inside Janis: Coming Jimmy: [really extra kiss as a hello obviously but not sorry everyone cos its hot af] Janis: Well Janis: he's not looking yeah Janis: you go first Jimmy: alright Jimmy: one sec Janis: Try and be less obvious, babe Jimmy: me? you Janis: I don't know what you're talking about Jimmy: hang on, I'll show you Jimmy: exactly what you did Janis: You can't Janis: show me anymore here Jimmy: [does 'cause challenge accepted this is why you're gonna get in trouble lad] Janis: Come on, Jimmy Janis: you need a smoke, yeah Janis: really bad Jimmy: desperately Jimmy: how did you know? Janis: Me too Janis: amongst other things Jimmy: [lights her 🚬 up but in a really sexy way thank you cos SEXUAL TENSION BITCH gotta make 'em wait longer cos I'm rude] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: no but Jimmy: ? Janis: You know what Janis: don't play innocent Jimmy: don't you Jimmy: come here Jimmy: get what you want Janis: [Does] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you take direction really well Jimmy: I thought it was only when you were faking Janis: Only when it's what I want Janis: but sure, we can pretend it was your idea, babe Jimmy: I don't want to pretend Jimmy: not right now Janis: Then get what you do want Jimmy: [does & it's everything he said he was gonna do in those hot sexts so damn] Janis: [After when she's got kicked out and he's getting fired, is ignoring] Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what happened Jimmy: he's #overit Jimmy: & sacking me Jimmy: now Janis: what Janis: nah Jimmy: put your ear to the door Jimmy: not gonna get a glowing reference when I show up to work for the competition Jimmy: bit rude Janis: obviously I've gone Janis: can you not like beg for another chance Jimmy: why? Jimmy: not my fucking dad, am I? Janis: Alright but Janis: it didn't need to happen, it was stupid Janis: I won't come in again, feel free to throw this all out Jimmy: neither will I Jimmy: hanging up my apron Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: only Pete's gonna be 💔💔💔 Janis: for getting you sacked, obviously Jimmy: you didn't Jimmy: I did everything he saw Jimmy: & we can use this Jimmy: not quite romeo & juliet levels but the fans will still be 'bout it Janis: Be serious Jimmy: I am Jimmy: think of a good # Janis: Think of how you're gonna deal with your Dad Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: school starts soon anyway Jimmy: I'll take less shifts at the next place Jimmy: & we sorted Cass' problem without having to buy her owt 👍 Janis: That's something Jimmy: it's decent so don't worry Jimmy: my dad'll lose his rag, gimme a smack, I'll do it better & that's that job done too Janis: you don't have to pretend it ain't a problem Janis: one you could do without Jimmy: it ain't yours Jimmy: you don't have to take it on Jimmy: 🤞 we give each other enough bruises to call off family dinner Jimmy: get out of that too Janis: it's fucked Jimmy: just make it look good for the audience Jimmy: I love you so much I risked it all Jimmy: that sorta bollocks Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Sure Jimmy: I'll handle my dad's tantrums Jimmy: not the 1st or last Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: come get the dog for me before he gets back? Janis: Okay Janis: am I bringing her back or starting a new life Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: I'm just hoping if you show up Cass'll forget about wanting front row & go with Jimmy: little lad's a given Janis: right Janis: do my best to be convincing Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: get pics to show how much you love me for getting the sack for you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what you wanna do fucking mope? Jimmy: get it together & do your bit Janis: piss off Jimmy: I literally just told you I don't care if I get in trouble for you Jimmy: so what's your issue? Janis: I care, dickhead Jimmy: then like I said, do your bit Jimmy: don't make it weird Janis: I am and I ain't Janis: God Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & say summat Janis: What do you want me to say Janis: I already did and you ain't listening Jimmy: I heard you, Jasmine Jimmy: but nowt matters Jimmy: it's just a job & it ain't mine now Janis: Fine Janis: shut up, I'm trying to put my shoes on Jimmy: you can't multitask any more? Jimmy: too 💔💔 'bout Pete Jimmy: you can go see him when you miss him, it's alright Janis: 😑 Janis: Jealous Janis: I didn't get sacked, I'm not changing my regular for you Jimmy: get him to make your smoothies Jimmy: let me know whose are better Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll try and remember Jimmy: calling his efforts forgettable before you've tasted 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you would think that Janis: you would think that Janis: ego Jimmy: you said it Jimmy: poor lad Janis: I repeat Janis: 😑 Janis: you know I meant Imma be too busy now you're out the way Jimmy: you mean you're gonna be too busy with me Janis: you reckon Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you said you didn't want me to work as much Jimmy: now I ain't Jimmy: nowt but time for you 💕 Janis: so I planned it, yeah Jimmy: should've Jimmy: but just a happy accident like my birth Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Miss you too Janis: No need now Janis: all that free time Jimmy: see, it's good news Janis: you ain't seen your Dad yet so Jimmy: I know how that's playing out Janis: he's literally going to kill me Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'd never let him Janis: even if you lie why it happened, he's gonna know Janis: or go down there and ask, even worse Jimmy: I'll say it was my other girlfriend Janis: maybe Janis: father son bonding moment Jimmy: shame you don't look more like twins I could drop Grace in it Jimmy: the manager has only seen you like twice though Jimmy: maybe Janis: Twice is enough Janis: gotta have seen her more and it's an insult to reckon even in passing you're making that mistake Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I can feel you making that face for real Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: Me? Janis: You be nice to me Jimmy: I am Jimmy: gonna protect you from my dickhead dad 💪 Janis: Shouldn't have to Jimmy: we saying this is all my fault now Jimmy: is that the story? Janis: No Janis: you don't listen Janis: it's mine, idiot Jimmy: you don't listen Jimmy: I told you, it's not Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: am I coming over right now or what Janis: yeah, I am Jimmy: It don't make you less of a diickhead Jimmy: you're still chatting shit Jimmy: stop Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's why you like me Janis: Mhmm Janis: not 'cos I'm fucked in the head or nothing Jimmy: piss off Janis: nah Jimmy: for fuck's sake Jimmy: just come over Janis: I am Jimmy: don't have to bring your 😍 but gutted 'bout the lack of enthusiasm Janis: What YOU chatting Janis: always 😍 to see Twix Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: she feels it Janis: I know Janis: chat all the time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: she'll be so 💔 I can walk her now Janis: Guard your shoes Janis: heads up Jimmy: tah Jimmy: can't afford to buy more 'cause of 🐶💔 Janis: don't Janis: feel bad enough, fuck's sake Jimmy: you Jimmy: I can't keep telling you it's not your fault Janis: then don't Janis: but literally would not have happened if I weren't there so Jimmy: I want you more than I want that shitty job, alright? Jimmy: so stop Janis: alright Janis: you can get another one easy Janis: yeah Jimmy: you've tasted my smoothies, you tell me Janis: that sounds weirdly filthy 😂 Jimmy: not an answer though Jimmy: I get it, you were faking liking 'em Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shh Janis: you know you're good Jimmy: I know it's hot when you say it Janis: really? you've not been deterred by manager simon or whatever the fuck literally staring open-mouthed like Jimmy: no Jimmy: & if that's your way of dumping me, bit rude Jimmy: coulda done it before he sacked me Janis: told you Janis: all part of my plan to get pete alone Janis: and single-handedly bring CG down, naturally Jimmy: should just go to one of his gigs Jimmy: you know there ain't nobody there but the band Janis: so bitter Janis: art about it, babe Jimmy: I will Jimmy: tah Janis: #muse 'til the end Janis: welcome Jimmy: really gonna miss you when you're Pete's groupie Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I prefer band wife Janis: but gotta start somewhere Janis: it's been real Jimmy: Barry come back Jimmy: the coast's clear & all is forgiven Janis: 😏 Janis: just don't let him impregnate you Jimmy: yeah one baby is enough Jimmy: really should've grabbed it from the CG before I left Janis: put a hat and apron on it it's your replacement sorted Jimmy: taught her everything she knows Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: a girl is it Jimmy: Barry only wants daughters he can warn blokes off of, he's that kinda dad Janis: creepy Janis: you 💕 him Jimmy: he's a decent rebound Jimmy: had the practice Janis: accidental or intentional shade Janis: either way fuck you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: calling my inexperienced Jimmy: nah Jimmy: calling him very experienced at being dumped and picking up dumpees Janis: Hmm Janis: ok Jimmy: & you aren't inexperienced anymore Jimmy: Pete will be 😍😍😍 Janis: no need to toot your own horn that hard either Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: do it for me then Janis: Pervert Janis: after that glowing review you ain't getting from CG, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: is that your word of the day? Jimmy: really getting full use Janis: if you wanna stop being one Janis: lemme know Jimmy: any time you wanna shut up, go on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: [bit] Janis: here Janis: bring out the dog/relevant kids Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: idk Janis: hope it's not the worst it could be Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't forget the pics, yeah Janis: I won't Jimmy: alright Janis: call me if you need Jimmy: dramatic Jimmy: call me if YOU need Jimmy: the kids are on one Janis: how is that dramatic Jimmy: I already said, I can handle my dad's tantrums Janis: well excuse me for caring Jimmy: just don't bring 'em back til I let you know Jimmy: if you care so much Janis: I won't Janis: I'm not stupid Jimmy: just me Jimmy: I got that Janis: No Jimmy: what? Janis: You aren't, alright Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you've been calling me an idiot non stop Janis: because I feel like one Janis: don't act like that doesn't make sense Jimmy: it makes sense that you're a dickhead Jimmy: come inside for a sec Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: just gimme one second Jimmy: & then you can go Janis: give me two Jimmy: alright Janis: [has to kiss him first do doesn't say it] Jimmy: [kisses her back really hard 'cause same & holds her 'cause comfort needed bitch] Janis: [Hugs for longer than should like bitch leave] Jimmy: you gotta go Jimmy: I can hear Twix losing it outside Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Janis: [kisses some more then leaves fr] Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: I just need to leave then you can bring 'em back Janis: okay Janis: go to mine? Jimmy: who's there? Janis: Us, currently but by the time you get there we won't Janis: wait for me in the barn Jimmy: okay Janis: do you need anything i can get on my way back Jimmy: just bring yourself Janis: okay Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: nowt I just Jimmy: tah for looking after 'em Janis: 'course Janis: no problem Jimmy: I don't have to give Cass a smack too, do I? Janis: Nah Janis: she was chatting to me when Bobby couldn't hear but she weren't letting on to him so Jimmy: I've text her so she knows Dad ain't murdered me Jimmy: not that there's a rug or owt missing, just me Janis: 👍 Janis: good Janis: gutted not to go true crime detective on it but Jimmy: you'd solve it too fast for it to be a laugh anyway Jimmy: too many clues Janis: true Janis: bit embarrassing, really Jimmy: can you get 🚬 actually? this pack is so light Jimmy: & get the kids 🍬 to soften the blow of not having my company for a bit Janis: my bad Janis: done and done Janis: not getting your Dad nothing Jimmy: he'll be 💔 Jimmy: needs a 🤕 Janis: nope Janis: stick a plaster on it and good luck Jimmy: brutal you Janis: He started it Jimmy: nah, I did Jimmy: losing me job Janis: so? not an excuse Janis: not like he's gotta retrain someone is it Jimmy: he don't need one Jimmy: any will do Janis: hate him Jimmy: #same Jimmy: not a couple brag for them 'gram but decent we've got that much in common Janis: obviously, soz Janis: your da, you actually have to deal with him Jimmy: I try not to Jimmy: got enough on Jimmy: don't let yours see me, yeah Janis: I won't Janis: promise Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I promise not to get blood on you Jimmy: maybe Janis: Jimmy Janis: how bad is it then Jimmy: nowt serious Jimmy: it's happened before so it does the next time, like Janis: I'll fix it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: feel better already me Janis: you will Janis: you know you can stay as long as you need to Jimmy: just not as long as I want Jimmy: Cass'd be fuming Janis: and you'd miss 'em Janis: come on Jimmy: let's move 'em in Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: living with a 6 year old going on toddler & 12 year old going on 22 Janis: Obviously Janis: save the teen pregnancy which has frankly been overdone in this fam so Janis: plenty of empty rooms if you can stand the cunts Jimmy: shame you can't bring Twix though that'd be helpful Janis: I know Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: anyone you know that doesn't have cats by the million? Janis: 'course Janis: my grandparents would take her Janis: can sort anything I can Jimmy: I wish you could Jimmy: for real Jimmy: It's all Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Jimmy: I don't want 'em to see me but I don't wanna just leave 'em with him Jimmy: ever Jimmy: that's not Janis: It's Janis: total catch 22 Janis: he wouldn't do anything like that to them though, yeah? Janis: not saying he's winning dad of the year in the meantime but Jimmy: but Cass is gonna be mad enough to say anything Jimmy: & Bobby's gonna be so scared Jimmy: when are they not Janis: what can we do, seriously Janis: is it gonna be worse if you go home with them Janis: like assumedly Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I just can't go back there right now Janis: You don't have to Janis: ask Cass to be extra nice to Bobby Janis: keep it together 'til you can go back Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's not fucking fair on her though Jimmy: nowt of it Jimmy: some hol this has been Janis: it ain't on you either Janis: that's on him though Janis: it can't even begin to be fair 'til he sorts his shit so Janis: she's old enough to know that Jimmy: I'm not 12 Jimmy: & it weren't like this for me when I was Jimmy: bad but not Janis: Shit's changed and that's out of your control Janis: the more you 'front like it ain't the more you put yourself in the firing line when it's meant to be him Jimmy: it's changed them so much & I Jimmy: someone's gotta take the hit for that Jimmy: he won't Janis: I get it Janis: like, not making it about me but I seriously do Janis: but they won't thank you for it, they'd rather you were at least a little bit fucking alright, you know Janis: they need you like that Jimmy: I'll be alright Jimmy: you're coming to fix me up Janis: Yeah Janis: we will work it out Jimmy: It's good that I met you Jimmy: best thing about being here Jimmy: only decent one maybe Janis: Competition ain't tough but Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the free medical attention coming my way has really elevated this whole girlfriend thing up one Jimmy: full shade to my ex for not coming through when she had her time Janis: Just don't start getting beat up for the attention, yeah Jimmy: with this face? Jimmy: it's my money maker, the rest of living ain't free, sweetheart Jimmy: good thing I don't have to work tomorrow, not looking pretty right now, sorry ladies Janis: You're so Janis: #sorrydorisyoumean Janis: better tell her you've moved so she can follow so you know it's real Jimmy: Pete's gonna have a 9-5 cleaning tables when the mass exodus happens Jimmy: sorry mate Jimmy: give him loads of time to work on his songs though Janis: all the 💔 will help him Janis: make him miss you even more but that's life, baby Jimmy: do you reckon Grace & her mates will believe I'm just on a really long break out back? Janis: 😂 Janis: would if you hadn't been dramatic on the 'gram Janis: their real hunting ground Jimmy: speak of 😈 Mia just liked it Janis: she's so bloody creepy Jimmy: did you see her latest selfie 💀 Jimmy: [sends it] Janis: 🦆 Jimmy: sorta impressive that your sister can find bollocks to comment Jimmy: that isn't like Jimmy: you look like death Janis: #tooreal for any of them Janis: especially Gracie Jimmy: at least her last selfie was alright Jimmy: I could chat shit on that if I had to Janis: go marry her then Jimmy: told you, you don't look alike enough Jimmy: can't be showing up like oops wrong one Janis: 😂 Janis: she would lock me in a cupboard she's got no shame Jimmy: insight into your childhood there? Jimmy: Harry Potter got nowt on you Janis: Yeah right Janis: too early for that shit Jimmy: it don't feel early to me Jimmy: this has been the longest fucking day Janis: You wanna hear my sad childhood stories then Janis: cheer you right up Jimmy: I'm out 🚬 Jimmy: gotta do summat Janis: Mysterious Jimmy: is it? Janis: What are you doing? Jimmy: walking Jimmy: 'cause you live in the middle of nowhere for some reason Janis: tell me about it Jimmy: have you dropped 'em off yet? Janis: in shop, picking their sweets Jimmy: soz Jimmy: you'll be ages Jimmy: it'll feel like a long day by then Janis: yeah Janis: realising Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: you can't Janis: you're a patient Jimmy: I'm bleeding but not to death Jimmy: plenty I can still do 💪 Janis: Shh, save your strength Janis: hard for me too, I know you're gonna look even hotter and it's just Jimmy: fuck your childhood stories, I'm learning shit here Janis: 😳 shut up that's a thing Jimmy: I'll shut up if you keep talking Jimmy: tell me again how hot I am Janis: you know you are Janis: you need me to tell you Jimmy: yeah Janis: I think you're probably the best-looking person I've ever seen in person Janis: people don't just look like that Jimmy: that's bollocks 'cause you look Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: beautiful, alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: I could look at you forever Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: I'll start when you get here Jimmy: you're gonna look at me 😒 when I tell you Janis: tell me what Jimmy: I think I took a wrong turn Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck I am Janis: oh babe Janis: I'll find you Janis: now going yours, finally Jimmy: 🍀 all looks the same Janis: Gonna have to track you Janis: be THAT girl just 'cos you're a liability Jimmy: we can say that's the reason, yeah Janis: Please Janis: if I want you I don't even need to whistle Jimmy: if you want me to piss off you don't have to unclip my lead either Jimmy: just say Janis: I don't Janis: but you can, if you want Jimmy: why would I be lost in the general direction of your house if I wanted that Janis: Just saying Janis: you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: shut up Janis: I just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: I just need you right now Jimmy: so Janis: you've got me then Jimmy: I want you too, you know Jimmy: It ain't just that I got nowhere to go Jimmy: I'd break into the CG before going somewhere I don't want Janis: You don't have to say it Janis: I was just being stupid Jimmy: You aren't Jimmy: & I want to Jimmy: just listen to me Janis: I am Jimmy: yeah we say that Janis: Tell me Janis: whatever you wanna Jimmy: I've never said owt I don't want Janis: Okay Janis: I believe you Janis: sometimes I forget what was fake and what's real Janis: it's all Janis: muddled in my head Jimmy: ask me Jimmy: whenever you wanna Janis: alright Janis: how come you're so sure though Jimmy: you saying I chat shit? bit rude Janis: No I mean Janis: how do you know what I mean and don't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: this could all be bollocks Janis: that don't bother you then Jimmy: you can't fake everything Jimmy: when you're with me I know how you feel Janis: Good Janis: I'm not trying to hide it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: everyone hides shit Jimmy: & chats it Janis: not you though, yeah? Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's loads of shit I haven't said but I'm not lying Jimmy: just not going that far back Janis: that's fine by me Janis: 'cos same Jimmy: don't worry then Jimmy: you know me better than anyone else Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: here anyway Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: I'm not going back so it counts Janis: oh right Janis: 👌 gotcha Janis: my fam would probably like to disagree but no one knows me either so Jimmy: sound more 💔 that you can't get rid of me, girl Jimmy: you should be happy, bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i'm glad i met you too Janis: it's just shit 'cos you don't wanna be here Janis: can't be selfish about it and buzzin', like Jimmy: I don't wanna be there either, not really Jimmy: I don't wanna be Jimmy: any of it Janis: yeah Jimmy: how do your parents get to decide for you how shit your life's gonna be & that's just Jimmy: how it is Janis: they just do Janis: must be in the fineprint for getting to be alive Janis: not arsed, too arsed, whatever, fucks you regardless Jimmy: I'm never having kids Jimmy: good thing I left that one in the CG Janis: same Janis: 'cos what kind of psycho wants the guilt, inversely Janis: like yeah, here's this kid I'm programmed to love no matter what and ahtever the fuck I do, they're gonna turn out fucked or hate me or Janis: nah Jimmy: guilt's good for my 🎨 but I'll be dried up by then Janis: so past it Janis: midlife crisis baby Janis: least women can't do that Jimmy: I feel like a dad of two already Jimmy: who fucking asked me Jimmy: & there's the dog Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Start paying the mortgage and you're fully a single parent Jimmy: with this CV? Jimmy: bollocks to it Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: thank fuck no one needs me Jimmy: let's just go out Jimmy: do summat other people in our year do Janis: cool Janis: puke on me and you're dead, idc how hot you are or how bad your injuries already might be Jimmy: you're the pisshead Jimmy: I can handle myself Janis: fuck off Janis: you chat shit on that, that's your thing Jimmy: what? Janis: You always say I'm drunk Janis: when I ain't Jimmy: I say it when you are Janis: 🙄😒 Janis: agree to disagree Jimmy: I like you when you're drunk Jimmy: & you're a cheap date so 👍 Janis: 😬 Janis: wanna be more creepy Jimmy: piss off you know what I mean Jimmy: you're less of a dickhead Jimmy: it's fun Jimmy: you like me more when you're drunk Janis: do I? Janis: better go get drunk then Jimmy: you have to wait for me or it ain't #goals Jimmy: & my injuries aren't gonna fix themselves yet Janis: you just hoping i got a uniform Jimmy: now I am Jimmy: but no clothes is also fine Jimmy: I'm easy-going like that Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos this is nhs service and you'll get what you're given and be thankful, boy Jimmy: I'll be very thankful Jimmy: you'll see Janis: don't be so Janis: we're meant to be going out Jimmy: we can be #fashionably late Janis: it's selfish but i want you so bad right now Jimmy: no complaints if that's what you're being selfish about Jimmy: actually is a #medicalemergency this time Jimmy: You need to make me feel better Janis: I'm going to forreal Janis: then I'll make you forget about everything that ain't feeling good and me Jimmy: It'll be a challenge Jimmy: it hurts, for real Janis: I know Janis: what's the actual damage you haven't said Jimmy: keeping it a surprise now 'cause you're so into it Jimmy: be a turn on for you Janis: don't make me sound like a psycho Janis: I don't like that you're hurt Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'm not being serious, baby Janis: don't try and sweet talk me now it'll 100% work and I'll be fuming Jimmy: be nice to me Jimmy: I wanna be nice to you Janis: it's my turn, if we're keeping score Jimmy: we're not Jimmy: for tonight we're just Jimmy: doing whatever we want Janis: then let me Janis: you need to relax, seriously Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'm agreeing 'cause I'm in pain not 'cause you're right Janis: 'course Janis: we can say that's the reason Jimmy: it's the reason Jimmy: don't be stealing my lines Janis: 😂 Janis: but they're so effective Janis: not annoying at all, yeah? Jimmy: THAT I do agree with Janis: Nerd Jimmy: bit rude Janis: it's easier than being as nice as I wanna Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'll shut up & make it so easy for you Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: that is nice Jimmy: I know Janis: fuck it, tell you when we're drunk Jimmy: you really can't tell me now? Jimmy: any of it Janis: I can tell you plenty you'd rather hear Jimmy: yeah? Janis: I'm gonna make you regret wanting to go out, that's how good it'll be Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: like I said, whatever we want Jimmy: if it's that good, I'll stay Janis: nah, we will Janis: plenty of ways to have a nice time Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: it'll gimme an excuse for why I'm covered in blood that's not my dad's a bellend Jimmy: #thecraic Janis: 😏 and you DON'T wanna encourage my psycho behaviour, sure Jimmy: do you wanna encourage me in cross dressing? 'cause unless you want me to wear your clothes I'm gonna look like a horror flick Janis: 🤔 Janis: no doubt it ain't really crossdressing with my wardrobe Janis: sad times, babes Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you're a girl, how many times we talking 'bout this Janis: glad you can tell Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: do me a solid and spread that around Jimmy: get on twitter with your nudes & save me the job Janis: not all as #cocky as you boy Jimmy: you've got every reason to be Jimmy: more Janis: it's different Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: not a serious suggestion Jimmy: not that much of an idiot Janis: you aren't shut up Janis: besides, not taking 🔥 nudes from the roadside for you or tiwtter am Janis: *I Jimmy: you could Jimmy: but don't get arrested Jimmy: can't use all my savings for bail Janis: exactly, too many #risks taken for one day Jimmy: or just the right amount Jimmy: so far Janis: shame Jimmy: that the manager caught us, I know Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the interruption was well rude Janis: yeah Janis: it was Janis: you were Jimmy: he could've let us finish if he was gonna sack me anyway Jimmy: but to be continued I suppose Janis: so spiteful Janis: what did i ever do to you simon Jimmy: you were so close Jimmy: he had to know that Jimmy: give us a minute, lad Janis: don't oversell it Jimmy: don't misremember it Janis: give me some credit Janis: 2 minutes, like Jimmy: I'd have given you loads more Jimmy: didn't wanna stop Janis: Babe Jimmy: ? Janis: you know Jimmy: say it anyway Janis: i'm so Janis: i just need to find you Jimmy: I need you to find me Jimmy: so go on Janis: I'm trying, what do you think I'm doing Jimmy: how do I know Jimmy: not tracking you Janis: 🙄 Janis: yes, i've decided to stop off for a quickie with pete first Janis: hold up Jimmy: distracted easy you Jimmy: also a heartbreaker Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's fault is that? Jimmy: mine & Pete's Jimmy: letting you Janis: if you had any idea how little interest i have in anyone else right now Janis: sad, really Jimmy: I don't feel sad Jimmy: neither do you Janis: not right now Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it not ever? Janis: don't Janis: don't be falling for anyone else yet Janis: i'm not ready Jimmy: you think I have any interest in anyone else myself? Jimmy: I just want you Janis: that's what i'm saying, keep it like that for a while yeah Jimmy: it is like that Jimmy: where do you think your competition is coming from? Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: shh Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you're Jimmy: there's loads of reasons I really like you Jimmy: even if you did get me sacked Janis: bastard 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the flashbacks alone are worth it Janis: i wasn't even Janis: it was all you Jimmy: you were Jimmy: you always are Jimmy: you reckon I was taking the piss out of you for being inexperienced before but you've known what you were doing since I met you Jimmy: you're just Janis: It's not like I'd done nothing it's just Janis: learning what you like Janis: what makes you cum Jimmy: & you're a fast learner Janis: 🙄 Janis: i'm not gonna tell you you're a good teacher Jimmy: either that or I'm a slag Jimmy: easy to turn on & get off Jimmy: either way is fine Janis: don't tell me if it's that Janis: live in ignorance Jimmy: my ex would tell you it's not Janis: some girls are just lazy Janis: expect it to be Jimmy: I didn't make it very easy for her Jimmy: in her defense Jimmy: any of it Jimmy: not just Janis: don't need to say Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I don't wanna fuck this up Jimmy: I'm not ready for that Janis: told you Janis: me either Jimmy: so don't let me Jimmy: I'm a dickhead but I really like you Jimmy: alright Janis: I know both of those things Janis: don't worry Jimmy: keep 'em in mind for a bit Janis: do my best Janis: you will be so distracting though Jimmy: not saying sorry Jimmy: where the fuck am I though? Jimmy: sorry 'bout that Janis: I am taking all possible missteps, find you eventually Jimmy: I have a headache but if you take that to mean that I don't want you to touch me when you do get to me, I'm dumping you Janis: please don't pass out seriously Janis: putting jokes of how dramatic you are aside 'cos I mean it Jimmy: I won't, I mean it, been here before Jimmy: physically but not geographically Janis: Baby Janis: can I kill him Janis: lil bit Jimmy: only if we do it together Jimmy: there's shit I wanna know from him first Janis: #couplegoals Janis: i get it Jimmy: it'll look worse than it is Jimmy: don't be weird about it Janis: I won't, I'm not inexperienced with blood thanks Jimmy: just Jimmy: I know you care Jimmy: but I'm alright Janis: I won't push it Janis: understood Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry Jimmy: why? Janis: for being weird Jimmy: name a day you weren't Jimmy: it's my top thing about you Janis: you must be weird too then Jimmy: do you think I am? Janis: well this feels like a trick question Jimmy: it's a yeah or nah one Janis: nah, such a normie, you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: a deeper cut than the one on my face Janis: I like you, that's all that matters Jimmy: you gonna show me how much when you find me Janis: try and stop me Jimmy: I'd rather not Jimmy: you said you'd help me relax if I let you Janis: I meant it Janis: doesn't mean self-control isn't gonna be hard for me Janis: but you need gentle Jimmy: you know I hate self control Jimmy: especially yours Janis: take it up with my manager Jimmy: Twix'll be sleeping Jimmy: had a hard day Janis: you too Janis: gotta get you like 😴 Jimmy: what are you on about? It's been great Jimmy: just thinking about earlier at the CG makes me so Janis: so what Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know Janis: so tell me Jimmy: you want me to tell you how turned on I am Jimmy: that I ache for you to come back & finish what we started Jimmy: & I can't breathe 'cause it feels like forever since you touched me Jimmy: but I can still feel it too Jimmy: every time I go there in my head Jimmy: I'm back in the moment & I just Janis: I think I Janis: holy shit Janis: I don't know what I think my head is Janis: you're all I can think about Janis: all the time Janis: and that's so much better than anything else I had to think on before because you're Jimmy: it's the same for me Jimmy: that blowjob you gave me, your first one, was my best one Jimmy: that shouldn't be a sentence I'm saying Jimmy: like you shouldn't be all I think about & want Janis: I can't be sorry Janis: I want to be your best everything Janis: I want you to want me Jimmy: then you've got what you want Janis: swear Jimmy: there's enough blood here for it Janis: good thing I do live middle of nowhere Janis: what would the neighbours say Jimmy: I saw some 🐮s and they were #shook Janis: #haters Jimmy: probably reckoned they were in the abattoir Jimmy: soz ladies Janis: usually the boys that Janis: only need the one Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: teaching me loads today Janis: return the favour Janis: said i'm not gonna say it but Jimmy: there's nowt I can teach you Jimmy: you're Jimmy: just take your row of medals & don't be too smug bout it Janis: okay then let me beat my own record Jimmy: any time Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I need to, I can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: tell me what's going on in your head Janis: I didn't think it'd feel that good, just giving but it was so Janis: I don't know why people complain I'd do that all day Janis: you looked so Jimmy: if you could see how you're making me look now Janis: I'm jealous of the 🐮s honestly Janis: you really are gorgeous and I felt so Jimmy: every time I reckon I can't want you more you chat things that prove me wrong Janis: I can't wait to see you Janis: not 'cos you're lost and bloody and defenseless and I'm a predator like that Jimmy: you kissed me like you were fucking off forever Jimmy: so I need to fix that Janis: well Janis: I planned to but I have the willpower and actual self-control of a fucking crackhead when it comes to you, apparently Jimmy: did you? Janis: bit ott not like gonna-jump-off-a-cliff forever but Janis: i felt really bad Janis: feel Janis: but you said it ain't my fault and i'm chosing to believe that Jimmy: fuck all of that but the last bit Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not wherever the fuck nowhere but Janis: with you Janis: i wanna Jimmy: then just do it Janis: okay Jimmy: you scared me, don't do that Janis: i didn't mean to Jimmy: you can take the dog but my dad would probably notice the others are missing eventually Jimmy: it's just a shit plan Janis: what about you Janis: can i take you Jimmy: where are we going? Janis: supposed to say it doesn't matter because i don't know Janis: anywhere Jimmy: I'd say it don't but I'd rather not come back here Jimmy: the cows are a bit Janis: bovine Jimmy: I don't know what the fuck that means Jimmy: but if it's weird not in the good way my girlfriend is, then yeah Janis: just means like a cow, tbh, like when someone's dead slow and unmoving, bit thick Janis: Mia 'cos she's puking up her brain cells at this point Jimmy: & that girl who follows her round the most Janis: big one? Jimmy: the other 💀 one Janis: ahh, yeah Janis: fucking herd Janis: gracie is just a stupid duckling that imprinted and thinks she's a cow whilst she's waddling after 'em like Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Pete could write a #sick song 'bout that Jimmy: hit him up Janis: ha Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: got shit on my shoe, gotta get the first tweet in Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: good luck getting signal Janis: i reckon i know where you are, work on how you're gonna chat him up for tix so i can sit her front row for the drag of the century tah Jimmy: #willthemiseryeverrelent? Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: maybe we should see a show for real Jimmy: could be a laugh Janis: Yeah Janis: why not Janis: just remember you promised Jimmy: work on our heckles Jimmy: just don't get too jealous of my 😍😍 when they ain't aimed at you Jimmy: what did I promise? Janis: exactly that motherfucker 😒 Janis: no indie bands for you if this is how you're gonna be Jimmy: threesome or nowt, I hear you Janis: with your taste? nowt Jimmy: you love Pete Jimmy: what you chatting Janis: He's the only exception, I've told you many times Janis: special 💕 Jimmy: & I've only got eyes for you & him Jimmy: Barry when I'm wasted Janis: mhmm Janis: likely story, slag Jimmy: keep wounding me Jimmy: near death Jimmy: can't go on Janis: go find a girl with quirky coloured hair to cry on Jimmy: these cows are gonna eat me when I hit the ground so unlikely Jimmy: but a boy can dream Janis: 🖕 they're herbivores, you dickhead Janis: how you like your women too, I'm sure Jimmy: give a shit what they eat Jimmy: cows or girls Jimmy: both are eyeing me all the time Jimmy: like they wanna make something happen Janis: genuinely hate you Janis: so much i'm not walking to the end of this lane, come here if you're not a loitering murderer i'm looking at rn Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: baby, take a step for me Jimmy: go on Janis: don't baby me Janis: you said you'd be nice Janis: 😠 Jimmy: alright, Janis take a step for me Jimmy: please Janis: [Does, a tiny one] Jimmy: [walks the rest of the way up to her & kisses her 'cause well that's just how he do] Janis: [casually covered in his blood, hot, touches where the split is gently and licks her finger after] Janis: let's go clean you up Jimmy: just Jimmy: [has to kiss her again harder cos wouldn't we all] Janis: yeah Janis: now let me be good and fix this Jimmy: You already are Jimmy: let me have Jimmy: [more kisses cos where is the chill on any given day] Janis: I want more Janis: but I don't wanna hurt you Jimmy: you won't Janis: [is kissing his neck 'cos safer] Jimmy: [enjoy his reaction cows 'cos we know he's living for it] Janis: [so many little kisses] Janis: is it just there or are there any bruises I need to miss too Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: which sounds like a line to make you find out but I don't Janis: I'll be careful then Janis: check you thoroughly later, obviously Jimmy: it's a blur now Jimmy: like it didn't happen but obviously Janis: Yeah Janis: you don't have to think about it right now, if you don't want Jimmy: & I feel like I've been walking to find you for half the day Janis: I promise it weren't that long Janis: middle of nowhere and lost though you are Jimmy: I'm just saying I don't know what's my dad & what's how unfit I am Janis: It's alright, can work it out together Janis: and go slow now I've ascertained you aren't bleeding out Jimmy: can we stay here for a bit Jimmy: not ages just Janis: if you've got over your moophobia Janis: 'course Jimmy: you'll protect me Janis: yes baby Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause we all know that was multi-layered chat thank you] Janis: sit down though Janis: [puts her jacket down 'cos remember when yes you do it wasn't that long ago] Jimmy: [sits but pulls her into his lap 'cause obviously] Jimmy: alright Janis: am now Janis: you? Jimmy: am now Jimmy: [is just touching her hair so gently 'cause fave like soz for the state of his hands probably babe] Janis: [motions that he should lift his arms so she can take his top off him carefully 'cos already bloody and uses it to wipe away the blood that has dried around his eyes] Jimmy: [does & tries not to visibly wince cos hard & northern but actually a soft boy so] Janis: [gives him neck and shoulder massages when she's done, as she's putting his top back on Janis: there Janis: might not have got lost if you could see better Jimmy: I'll use that excuse, tah Janis: allow it Janis: and i ain't telling Jimmy: me either Jimmy: twitter don't need to know everything Jimmy: bit of blasphemy Janis: alright Janis: no God in your house, you've told me Jimmy: I'll let the world know what a good nurse you are though Janis: Not letting just anyone bleed on me, you know Jimmy: sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: don't be Jimmy: there's so much Jimmy: [touches her face where some is but like not in a way he technically needs to after a sec 'cos I just have to bye] Janis: just looks it, head injuries always do Janis: you don't need stitches or nowt, I wouldn't be sat here if you did Janis: even if it's Janis: nice Jimmy: if I did I woulda had 'em first time Jimmy: do I need to be worried you're like an expert on head injuries for some reason Janis: 🔪🐰 Janis: told ya Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: you're fucking cute Janis: do that again yeah Jimmy: you don't get to call me cute sitting there looking like that Jimmy: you're Jimmy: being really cute Janis: [makes a dorky face which she means to be ugly but come on] Janis: what about now? Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause can't like he gonna say some extra shit if I don't] Janis: [touches his lips after] Janis: i'm glad you don't have a fat lip Janis: it'd be really hard not to kiss you Janis: i might die Jimmy: I still would Jimmy: that hero 💪 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: but next time I'll tell him Janis: aim lower, right Janis: [points finger gun at his heart] Jimmy: that's your shot not his Jimmy: so be careful Janis: [crosses self, does scout's honour etc] Jimmy: [does a lil lol cos she a cute nerd] Janis: that might be one of my favourite noises you make Jimmy: don't commit yet Janis: i didn't Janis: sensible, me Jimmy: how sensible? Jimmy: you gonna stop me if I Jimmy: [is touching her in some saucy manner excuse you sir] Janis: very sensible Janis: be an idiot to stop you when Jimmy: when? Janis: when I missed you so much Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & moving down her whole body, moving clothes out of his way as best he can 'cause missed her too obvs] Jimmy: what about now? Janis: [casually gripping onto his t-shirt really hard 'cos doesn't wanna hurt him but damn] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm meant to be Jimmy: I said, it's alright Jimmy: [carries on 'cause he's that dickhead] Janis: oh fuck Janis: don't start this somewhere we can't finish it again Jimmy: the cows aren't gonna tell us to stop Janis: so you trust 'em now do you Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: [kisses her on the mouth before we know what's gonna happen oh boy] Janis: just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Jimmy: I told you, you won't Jimmy: trust yourself Jimmy: [starts from the top 'cause there & back at it again at Krispy Kreme] Janis: [starts unbuttoning him 'cos impatient] Jimmy: [likewise with whatever she's wearing 'cause he didn't ask like a phone sex line for once so idk] Janis: I want you so bad you know Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but still like that you told me Janis: feel it some more Jimmy: [does] Janis: Shit Janis: That's so Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I Janis: Please don't stop Jimmy: not now I've started, you know that Janis: yeah but promise Janis: I like it when you promise Jimmy: on what? a cow Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: [says that he promises out loud] Janis: [kisses him 'cos back at it again with nothing but ily to say] Jimmy: [lowkey drops his phone & don't even notice 'cause hot] Janis: [Hit 'em with an after 'cos] Jimmy: is it weird that we always type instead of just talking? Janis: probably but Janis: not like we do it when we're alone Janis: and not in public Jimmy: we're alone now Jimmy: are you counting the cows? Janis: yeah, they're people too, they don't need to hear me going all out Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: they heard everything Janis: shh Janis: never happened Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's not 'cause Jimmy: you Janis: what? Janis: are you concussed? Janis: look at me Jimmy: you don't type it 'cause you can't delete what you chat before it comes out your mouth, do you? Jimmy: that's not the reason Janis: does it matter Jimmy: depends what the answer is Janis: then I won't answer Jimmy: that is an answer Jimmy: I'm not stupid Janis: no it isn't Janis: you can't assume that it's in favour of your bias just 'cos Jimmy: if you don't wanna tell me it's 'cause you think the answer is one I don't wanna hear Jimmy: & I know what I don't wanna hear Jimmy: so Janis: I don't wanna answer 'cos you said it mattered so either way Jimmy: self control yeah Jimmy: just edit it a bit Jimmy: I get it Janis: what you being like this for Jimmy: is it real or not? Jimmy: that's why it matters Janis: why would I fake fuck you Janis: what would be the point of that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: you wouldn't but Jimmy: anything else you say to me Jimmy: are you just hitting delete on whatever you wanna say Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: are you Janis: 'cos you seem to be more ready for this conversation than I am Jimmy: I asked you, don't turn it round on me 'cause you don't wanna tell me I'm right Janis: You aren't right Janis: can we go now Jimmy: I suppose Janis: what's the point in asking if you don't believe me anyway Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: didn't have to Jimmy: I didn't mean to Janis: whatever Janis: come on Jimmy: [stops her 'cause boy you gotta fix this excuse you] Jimmy: not like this Janis: you said you ain't got nowhere else to go and i said you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: I'd rather stay here if that's what you reckon me going with you is Jimmy: whatever I've said Janis: don't be dramatic just Jimmy: It's not Jimmy: I care about you, alright Jimmy: that's why I asked Jimmy: & 'cause I trust you & that's not nowt to me Jimmy: it's bigger than like any of the rest of the bollocks of knowing someone Janis: alright Janis: just 'cos I hold back some things doesn't mean I'm lying or whatever you think it means Janis: we're not going that far back, you said, not everything has to be said for the shit that is to matter, does it Jimmy: loads of people have kept loads of shit from me & if you're gonna be another one then I just wanna know first this time that you are Jimmy: but nah I don't need your life story Janis: Well what do you need Janis: 'cos if you're gonna hold it against me when I tell you something later you wanted to know now then Jimmy: I'm not trying to be that dickhead Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: he's never not in my head Jimmy: my dad Jimmy: & that fucks things up sometimes, I know Jimmy: but me, I don't want to Janis: I know Janis: however much I don't know about the whole situation there, I know that Janis: I'm not holding that against you, am I Jimmy: you can Jimmy: I hurt you, you can hurt me Janis: I don't want to Janis: and you didn't Jimmy: a bit Janis: just shut up yeah Jimmy: just let me say sorry first Jimmy: 'cause I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: alright Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he's shit with words & so that's a better sorry] Janis: it's just been a shit day, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but that's not an excuse Jimmy: I don't wanna do that Janis: can be Janis: it's valid Jimmy: I like you too much for that bollocks Jimmy: it's valid that I'm a dickhead & you can hate me a bit Jimmy: nowt else Janis: well I don't alright so stop Jimmy: [takes her hand & holds it] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [drops hand 'cos not over it fully] Janis: can you just Janis: learn how to time this shit better Jimmy: It's not like there's a plan Janis: well this is the second time you've done this basically directly after so Janis: probably think about getting one Jimmy: I Jimmy: how else can I say I'm sorry? Janis: you can't Janis: just warning you, mood killer Jimmy: bollocks can't I Jimmy: come on Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: just wait like five minutes next time, yeah Jimmy: I'm not planning a next time Janis: fine Janis: [starts walking] Janis: keep up Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: are you serious Jimmy: like you said, it's been a shit day Janis: thanks a fucking lot Jimmy: I'm doing you a favor girl Jimmy: the mood's dead Janis: who asked you to Janis: and fuck you Jimmy: you're asking me Jimmy: I can actually read, like Janis: where Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck off Janis: where Janis: I didn't Jimmy: get between the lines Janis: oh, all the stuff I didn't say, yeah? Janis: that's all you're concerned with now Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: no Jimmy: you've said enough to be going on with Jimmy: I made it too weird, it's not on you anyway Janis: Jesus Christ Janis: seriously Janis: just stop, come on Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: what are you doing here? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: & I'm just Janis: What do you mean what am I doing here? Janis: we're Janis: I'm your girlfriend Janis: and not such a shitty fucking person I wanna see you go back to your Dad so he can make your day worse what the actual fuck Janis: how is that not on me, that you'd rather Jimmy: I want you to want me to stay 'cause you do Jimmy: not 'cause he's a fucking dick Jimmy: but now you don't Jimmy: 'cause I'm as much of a dick Janis: how many times and ways can I tell you I do Janis: and you ain't Janis: this is a ridiculous conversation Jimmy: [this boy is lowkey about to cry my soft son] Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: [sits] Janis: [sits with] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm sorry Janis: can't we just agree to forget about it Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos v sad] Janis: Tell me what to do for you, babe Jimmy: don't leave Jimmy: I'm sorry I fucked it up but don't Janis: I ain't Janis: it's alright Janis: I mean it Janis: nothing that ain't fixable Jimmy: so let me know how to fix it Janis: just don't go home Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I don't know why I said that Jimmy: proof that I'm not censoring myself I suppose Janis: I know you aren't Janis: you don't have to, I know I Janis: probably overreact to shit sometimes Jimmy: [actually lols again cos same bitch] Jimmy: me too Jimmy: you said, thank fuck nobody was relying on you or whatever when I was talking about Bobby & Cass before Jimmy: I'm not trying to be a burden of bollocks for you today Jimmy: that's it Janis: [lols with] Janis: You aren't Janis: I was just trying to show I knew I had it easier in that respect Janis: I think Jimmy: I've fucked your day up from getting sacked onward Jimmy: you don't need it Janis: well I want it so deal with it Jimmy: [looks at her with love bitch] Janis: [makes stupid face again like 'what' 'cos cannot deal] Jimmy: [kisses her cos likewise can't deal & will say highkey shit] Janis: Are you ready now? Jimmy: [kisses her again cos cheeky like that] Jimmy: am now Jimmy: are you ready to get drunk with some other dickheads? Janis: as long as one of 'em is you Jimmy: top dickhead me Jimmy: king of Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we need to sort ourselves out first we look mad Janis: bit halloween for april maybe Jimmy: only a bit Jimmy: [takes a quick pic of her so she can see how much blood is on her] Janis: Well, if I didn't love myself before Janis: 😍 Jimmy: I like it but Jimmy: I'm weird Janis: you're embracing it now, yeah Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: for right now Janis: gonna lose it's sting as an insult but Janis: I like it Jimmy: I'll think of a new one Jimmy: it's alright Janis: your creativity knows no bounds, babe Jimmy: gotta stay #goals Jimmy: & keep my muse in a job Jimmy: one of us needs to be working Janis: a suitably #richgirl 'job' Janis: one notch above calling myself an 'influencer' still, thank God Jimmy: if I draw you an artsy nude so you can keep your actual of twitter, will you love me madly again? Janis: perhaps Janis: if you're gonna make me look like an old man then no Jimmy: 👌 it'll be my masterpiece Jimmy: no wrinkles just blood, 'cause your #kink Janis: you like it too shut up Jimmy: could be from Mia's severed head Jimmy: everybody'd like it then Janis: Hot Janis: I'd really love you forever then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: consider it done Janis: [Gets up and puts out a hand to pull him up] Jimmy: [takes her hand 'cause he WANNA HOLD IT] Janis: I promised to patch you up Janis: and give you a blowjob, actually so Janis: get a wriggle on Jimmy: you could've got out of that Jimmy: I didn't remember Janis: 💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: I wouldn't forget it once it happened Jimmy: that's the real 💔 Janis: I won't feel sorry for you, boy Janis: the cheek, not to remember everything I say Janis: how un #goals of you Jimmy: you distracted me with a lot of #goals shit you did right here Jimmy: in my defense Janis: I don't know if we're allowing it Janis: I'll consult the girls Jimmy: baby Jimmy: please Janis: You know that actually works on me Janis: how shaming Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear too 'cause he's a dickhead] Jimmy: how do you feel now instead? Janis: I really cannot go down on you right here Janis: I draw the line so stop please Jimmy: [sexy little earlobe moment 'cause he's a shit] Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Um, no you don't Janis: [Pulls him back and kisses him] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: stopping or starting Janis: Your fault Jimmy: I was making you feel no shame Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: Hmm 😑 Janis: you're very Jimmy: do I wanna know Janis: you know you wanna know everything Jimmy: but we should go before it gets properly dark Janis: why, you scared Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: but I do remember you saying you wanted to see me when you were blowing me so Jimmy: not using all my battery on the torch Jimmy: don't like you that much Janis: 😏 Janis: suddenly he remembers Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the kiss brought it back to me Janis: not gonna have you claiming amnesia from this Janis: calling bullshit right now Jimmy: 😂 Janis: can't be throwing out that many cliches Janis: even these morons will cotton on Jimmy: me? cliched Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 😶 Jimmy: if they made a flick on my life dickhead's be saying that don't happen Jimmy: #original Janis: send the screenplay in to my little brother then Janis: I'll check it out some time Jimmy: I'll get on that now I got all this free time Janis: man of leisure Jimmy: gonna have to do my homework Jimmy: no excuses Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: ew Janis: i'm not doing it with you Jimmy: come over & we'll say we're doing it Jimmy: 😏😏 Janis: that's more like it, nerd Jimmy: you're a nerd Janis: I am not Janis: 👊🍱💰 Jimmy: [playfully shoves her] Jimmy: the fact you reckon that's the kind of lunch I'm taking Jimmy: sort it out, rich girl Janis: [shoulder barges back but gentle 'cos careful girl] Janis: I was very limited by emojis Janis: and did not stalk you, so Janis: I'll ask Gracie Jimmy: you coulda done 🍕🍞🍟🧀 you weirdo Jimmy: even 🥗 Janis: yeah right 😂 Jimmy: what you laughing for? Jimmy: you coulda even done 🍽 Jimmy: you fucked up, nerd Janis: you don't eat salads Janis: you rude bitch Jimmy: I don't eat whatever the fuck emoji you went with Jimmy: [does a hair ruffle like he's Tess in the past & she's Fraze but he's a pisstaking fool] Janis: it was a box i was aiming for lunch box Janis: 😡 Janis: [does face] Jimmy: [lols again cos she cute] Janis: Don't think you can cute your way outta this Jimmy: what if I'm hot? Janis: wouldn't that be the dream Janis: c'est la vie, nerd Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: I'm in so much pain now Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [kisses him but pulls on his pouty lip] Jimmy: 😳 Janis: So cute Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's cute & hot & the dream bye] Janis: Okay Janis: you're hot too Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: now we've established that, come on Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍

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