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itsswritten · 2 months

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wings

Pairing: Azriel x fem reader, IC (platonic) x reader

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: 18+, smut, P in V, lots of fluff

Summary: Who would've thought that your found family would be so captivated by your hidden wings? As they reminisce about their first glimpses of your ethereal secret, you realise just how cherished and adored you truly are.

"I distinctly remember," Mor began, her voice filled with excitement, drawing not only your attention from the comforting cocoon of Azriel's arms, but also the rooms. She sat opposite you, a slight mischief twinkling in her eyes as she leaned forward.

You were all nestled in one of the many living rooms at the House of Wind.

Under the flickering faelight, you sat beside Azriel– your mate. His large presence ever the comfort, as he enveloped you in his arms. His fingers, tracing intricate patterns through your hair, each touch sending ripples of relaxation through your body.

If it weren't for the loudness of your friends and family, their remarks not failing to echo through the room, Azriel’s touch alone could have lulled you into a blissful slumber.

"It was a surprise for sure," Feyre chimed in, a playful smirk dancing across her lips as she glanced over at your slightly confused expression. Sensing your distraction, Azriel reluctantly released his hold on you, joining the conversation with a gentle touch of his hand settling on the small of your back.

"My experience was quite a shock," Cassian added with a grin.

“Mine, I have to say is one I’d like to forget” Rhys grimaced as Feyre gave him an annoyed knowing look.

Amren, rolled her eyes at her family's theatrics. "You all make such a big deal out of everything," she remarked, her tone dry.

Your brows furrowed as you pieced together the fragments of the conversation, realisation dawning as Mor's words began to paint a vivid picture.

The topic of discussion? The first time they laid eyes on your beautiful wings.

𓇢𓆸

Mor, Feyre and Nesta.

It was one of Feyre’s first nights out since welcoming Nyx into the world; she’d been dying for a night off. Craving the simple joys of the company of her girlfriends. Sensing her desperation for a night to let loose, you, Mor, and Nesta had taken it upon yourselves to orchestrate the perfect girls night out for your High Lady.

The night quickly unfolded into a flurry of laughter and dancing. Drinks were spilled, songs were sung. Rita’s being your chosen sanctuary for the night. You all let yourselves get lost in the music and infectious energy of the bar. Drinks were flowing freely, and the hours quickly slipped away like grains of sand in an hourglass.

It wasn’t until the sun had started to rise again that you all quickly realised you needed to get home. You’re not sure how in their drunken states, but Mor and Feyre had successfully managed to winnow you all back to River House, all collapsing in a giggling heap in the foyer.

A fit of laughter overtook the group as you stumbled and pushed, trying to untangle yourselves from one another. You managed to push yourself onto unsteady feet, only to trip over Nesta’s dress and stumble back onto Mor. With your balance faltering, a shimmer of magic danced through the air as your wings burst forth, a kaleidoscope of iridescent pink hues unfurling into the air. Your wings, delicate and light, burst with specs of fairy dust that glowed around you.

The room fell silent, the trio frozen in awe at the sight before them. Then, like a spell breaking, laughter bubbled forth, filling the space with joyous echoes. Mor's eyes sparkled with delight as she pulled you into an embrace, Feyre's lips curled into a grin, and even Nesta couldn't help but crack a smile.

"You sneaky thing," Mor teased, reaching out to brush her fingers against the delicate wings "Keeping such beauty hidden away."

“I bet Azriel loves keeping this side of you to himself,” Nesta purred, her voice laced with mischief as something provocative glinted in her eyes.

You responded with a playful stick-out of your tongue at Nesta, before turning your attention to Mor and Feyre, who were now a pair of mesmerised females, giggling like children as they reached out to touch this new part of their friend they had never seen before.

They had always known you had wings, from the type of fae you were, but you had always kept them hidden and they never dared to ask for you to reveal them.

"Hands off!" you exclaimed, your voice a blend of amusement and mock outrage as you swatted and smacked at their approaching fingers, the sound of laughter echoing through the halls.

Of course, they respectfully obeyed your wishes, but there was a warmth that filled their chests as you all stumbled arms wrapped around one another through the house, enjoying a new part of their friend that had been revealed.

𓇢𓆸

Cassian.

Cassian's mischievous streak knew no bounds, especially when it came to playing pranks on you. He found something undeniably endearing about your reactions, and there was a certain satisfaction when he knew these teasing antics could also annoy Azriel too.

On this particular day, you were busy in the kitchen, practising a cake recipe that Elain had shared with you. Determined to make the perfect cake for Azriel's upcoming birthday, you meticulously measured ingredients, oblivious to the looming presence of your giant friend.

Cassian's eyes twinkled with mischief as he saw his chance to play. With careful grace, he approached, holding his breath before unleashing his voice.

"BOO!" His voice boomed across the room, his figure looming over you with a triumphant grin.

Startled, you spun around in a flurry of flour, heart racing in your chest at the sudden noise. And then, in a moment of surprise, your magic wavered, and your wings unfurled in a burst of ethereal light.

The room fell silent as Cassian's eyes widened in disbelief, laughter fading into awe at the sight before him. "What in the Cauldron," he breathed, barely a whisper, his finger pointing at the delicate appendage. "What are those?"

You fluttered your wings away, annoyance evident in your voice as you retaliated with a playful toss of flour in his direction. "Cassian!" you exclaimed.

"YOU HAVE WINGS!" Cassian's excitement was palpable, his grin spreading from ear to ear.

"Of course I have wings, I'm a fairy," you retorted, arms outstretched in exasperation.

“AZRIEL…YOUR MATE HAS WINGS” he screamed knowing his vibrating voice would find his brother.

Azriel materialised from the shadows, concern evident in his eyes as he approached, brushing away the flour that had settled on your face. His expression shifted to admiration as he took in the sight of your wings shimmering behind you.

"Stop tormenting my mate, Cass," Azriel scolded gently, his protective instincts kicking in as he pulled you into a soft embrace, his lips pressing to the top of your head.

"She has wings!" Cassian exclaimed once more, disbelief colouring his tone. There was a touch of annoyance, as he realised he may have been the only one to not know this about you.

Cassian, like a moth attracted to a light, reached his giant hand out again wanting to get close to the wings that were so unlike his own.

"No touching" Azriel growled, his tone leaving no room for argument. Cassian withdrew his hand, a hint of disappointment flickering across his features as he chewed his lip in an attempt to avoid pouting.

"So does this mean... we can go flying together?" Cassian asked as the revelation came to his mind, excitement bubbling in his voice.

Your brow quirked slightly, a playful glint dancing in your eyes as a small smirk tugged at your lips. Cassian watched you carefully, anticipation written across his features, while Azriel pulled away knowingly.

You nodded slowly, a challenge evident in your gaze. "I’ll race ya," you declared, a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.

With that, you pushed past Cassian and darted out of the room, your wings fluttering gracefully as you made your way to the nearest balcony. Without hesitation, you leaped off the edge and into the open air, the wind rushing past you as you soared into the night sky.

Cassian was quick to follow, a grin spreading across his face as he embraced the exhilarating freedom of flight. And not far behind him, Azriel joined the fray, his own wings beating with a steady rhythm as he soared through the air.

Together, you three took to the skies, weaving and darting through the night sky.

𓇢𓆸

Rhys and Nyx.

“And stretch them out…That’s it my boy” Rhys spoke proudly as he watched his son in front of him stretch and extend his wings.

You had found yourself in the company of one of Rhys’ flying lessons, nestled on one of the chaise lounges on the balcony, a book in hand as you half-read, half-watched your High Lord teaching his son how to use his wings.

Nyx, though perhaps still a little too young to fly, was eager to learn. So desperate to be like his father and uncles. With Rhys' guidance, he tentatively stretched out his wings, mimicking his father's movements under the watchful gaze of the night sky.

Rhys, a picture of fatherly pride, stood by Nyx's side, his attention unwavering—until a sudden commotion from inside drew his focus for just a fleeting moment. In that brief lapse of attention, the sudden gust of wind caught Nyx and his perfectly poised wings off guard, sending him teetering towards the edge, a gasp escaping his lips.

Instinct surged through you like a bolt of lightning as your wings burst forth in a flurry of motion, carrying you across the expanse with a grace honed over centuries. With swift precision, you swooped in, catching Nyx in your embrace just as he hovered on the brink of danger.

Wide-eyed and breathless, Nyx looked up at you in awe, his innocent admiration pulling at the strings of your heart. "Pwetty," he murmured, his wonder mirrored in the glow of your own wings, illuminated by the moonlight.

You wasted no time in safely landing back onto the balcony, Rhys rushing to your side with bewilderment and shock etched on his features as a torrent of thank-yous spilled from his lips.

As Nyx pawed at your wings, you carefully fluttered them away from his reach, mindful of their delicate nature. Rhys, after the scare of what had just happened, or almost happened. Took a moment to truly appreciate the sight of your wings— beautiful and light, shimmering a pink glow that was a stark contrast to his own.

His relief was short-lived, however, as it became apparent that Feyre had witnessed the entire ordeal. With a swift scolding, she whisked Nyx from your arms, sending you a silent 'thank you' before retreating inside, cradling her son protectively.

"No flying lessons with Daddy from now on," Feyre scolded directly at her mate before she cooed at her son again. "What would we have done if Auntie Y/N hadn't been here?" she mused aloud, her words lingering in the night air.

Rhys glanced over at you, questions swirling in his head at how you had so quickly been there to rescue their son from danger.

"They may be more delicate than your wings, but I am quicker, swifter, and more agile than you big Illyrian babies will ever be," you teased lightly, your words carrying a hint of playfulness.

"Thank the Cauldron you are," Rhys breathed with a soft smile, his eyes reflecting the depths of his gratitude. You gently patted his shoulder before ushering him inside.

𓇢𓆸

Azriel.

“Gods you are beautiful” Azriel groaned, sweat beading down his temple as he looked at you. Your own eyes fluttering shut in pleasure as you continued to ride your mate.

You had both finally and officially accepted the mating bond, preparing Azriel’s favourite meal as a gesture of your acceptance. He had eagerly devoured the food, the golden thread connecting you both deeper and stronger than you ever thought possible.

You had felt his emotion rippling towards you that night. There was a sense of overwhelming gratitude, a deep-seated appreciation for finally having someone who understood him in ways no one else ever could. There was a feeling of relief, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, knowing that he had found someone who truly accepted him for who he was.

But above all, there was a profound sense of belonging—a feeling of being chosen, not just as a lover, but as a partner, a confidant, a soulmate.

As the night progressed, things escalated quickly. Your bodies entwined in a passionate frenzy. Finally, after months of yearning and longing, you found yourselves in each other's arms.

You straddled him, your breasts flushed against his hard chest, in an unbreakable embrace as his hands tightly gripped your lower back, moving with you as you rode out a dance of pleasure. His large wings stretched behind him, twitching slightly as a sign of his impending release.

"You feel so perfect, angel," he purred against your neck, peppering it with soft kisses before pulling away to watch your face.

Your features were contorted in a mix of pleasure and desire, moans escaping from your lips as you steadily climbed towards climax. His rhythm became deeper and more intense, bringing you closer to the edge.

"Azriel..." you moaned out his name, throwing your head back and arching your body as ecstasy coursed through you.

“That’s it my love, that’s it…”

Azriel’s words got stuck in this throat as he watched you reach the peak of bliss, the air around you suddenly seemed to shimmer and a soft ethereal light enveloped your beings. Azriel's eyes widened in awe at the magnificent sight before him. Glowing iridescent wings sprouted from your back, their delicate pink hues dancing in the dim light of your chamber. They fluttered gently, casting a mesmerising glow that bathed both of you in a radiant aura of magic.

Filled with wonder and awe, he was sent over the edge, his own release filling you as he held the most ethereal being in his arms.

"So beautiful..." Azriel breathed out, almost in disbelief as he couldn't fathom how you could be any more breathtaking than you already were.

Your wings twitched and fluttered as you rode out the waves of pleasure, the intensity of the moment slowly subsiding as you rested your forehead against Azriel's, your breaths mingling in the intimate space between you. A blush crept across your cheeks as you realised what you had just revealed to him in your most vulnerable and intimate moment. The soft glow of your wings gradually settled, the dust they had created floating gently around the room like stardust.

"Azriel... I..." you began, your voice barely a whisper, emotions swirling within you like a tempest.

But before you could find the words to express the depth of your feelings, Azriel's firm yet gentle voice cut through the air, his eyes flickering with warmth and adoration as he spoke.

"Let me say it first," he insisted, his arms tightening around you in a comforting embrace. "You are my guiding light in the darkness, my entire soul's devotion...I..- I love you."

Your wings, now settled and slightly slumped with the weight of the moment, trembled at his words, the warmth in your chest swelling with each syllable he uttered. Tears welled in your eyes, reflecting the tear that had already spilled from Azriel's.

"I love you, Azriel," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "I am yours forever, in this life and the next."

Your lips found one another again, bodies and souls intertwining under the soft glow of your wings.

𓇢𓆸

As your friends reminisced about the first time they saw your wings, Azriel, ever the gentleman, only vaguely danced around his recollection. He shared that it had been when you accepted the mating bond for him. The vague blush that covered your cheeks was enough to dissuade further inquiry from your friends.

"Am I the only one who didn't realise you had wings?" Cassian asked incredulously, only to be met with a pillow thrown by Mor.

"You really need to brush up on your Fae race history and anatomy if you didn’t know she had wings" she teased, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"I can’t believe it all had to be so dramatic though," Amren remarked. "I simply asked her to show me the first week we met, and she obliged."

You smiled nervously at Amren's confession, feeling the weight of your friends' stares.

"So you're saying we could have just asked all this time?" Feyre exclaimed.

You chuckled sheepishly. "I only hide them because they’re delicate... and you guys can be, well…"

"We can be what?" Mor's gaze teased as she leaned in closer.

Instinctively, you moved closer to Azriel for protection, but he seemed to find humour in the situation.

"Clumsy... not always spatially aware," you admitted with a sheepish grin.

"Is that so?" Cassian drawled, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he glanced at Mor.

"Show us your wings then," Nesta declared bluntly, slightly frustrated that Amren had gotten one up on her by simply asking you.

"No," you replied firmly, not wanting to suddenly bend to their will.

Cassian and Mor exchanged a knowing look, a mischievous plan forming between them. Without warning, they both lunged at you, their playful attack catching you off guard.

You cried out for Azriel's help, but to your dismay, he seemed to be thoroughly entertained by the spectacle unfolding before him. Cassian's firm grip on your wrists pulled you closer to him, while Mor's embrace from behind left you feeling both trapped and ticklish.

"Not spatially aware, huh?" Mor teased, her fingers jabbing playfully at your waist, eliciting a cascade of laughter from you.

Your please for assistance only seemed to amuse Azriel further, his smirk betraying the mischief dancing in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he chuckled, his voice laced with mirth. “But the outcome of this is one you know I love seeing.”

Your friends playful assault only continued, your giggles filling the room. And in the midst of it all, your wings unfurled, revealing the delicate, pink membranes that had been the topic of conversation for the past hour.

They fluttered from your back, casting a glowing aura across the room and around you. They resembled delicate petals kissed by the soft hues of dawn, shimmering an iridescent pink that mesmerised anyone who laid eyes on them.

“There she is…” Azriel murmered under his breath. A fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He could feel the pride filling his chest as he watched you, gazing at your beautiful wings in all their ethereal glory.

But it wasn’t just your mate gazing at your with love.

No, your family found themselves grinning ear to ear, looking at you with admiration as they watched you glow.

A glow they were forever grateful for.

a/n: not really my best work, but just some loveliness for you all to read! It was an idea I came up with that I instantly dumped on @illyrianbitch (as I always do) and she thought it was a sweet enough idea to write, so here it isssss!! Enjoy my loves <3

Hopefully will resume series writing soon - Lottie x

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #acotar azriel #acotar fanfiction #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #feyre cursebreaker #feyre archeron #rhys acotar #cassian #nesta acosf #mor acotar #amren acotar #nyx archeron #acotar series #inner circle

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utterlyotterlyx · 2 months

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When I Met The Devil

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Part Two to When I Kissed The Teacher which you can read here.

Summary - Azriel adored everything about you, but there was still certain information that you were keeping from him. Azriel finds out exactly what you've been hiding thanks to a particularly unfortunate visit.

Warnings - mentions of sexual abuse and neglect, angst, mentions of trauma

It had been three months since Azriel had taken you on your first (of many) dates. Azriel had been so nervous, not sure where to take you that would be able to live up to your expectations, even Nyx had given him some ideas by babbling on about what made you smile in the classroom.

Apparently you loved nature, of course you did, you were from the Spring Court. So Azriel had packed up a picnic and taken you to a garden of wildflowers away from the city to watch the sunset and gaze at the stars. You had taken his breath away when you had opened the door to him, you had dressed in a loose fitting pale blue dress with white flowers embellished into the bodice, the sleeves hung off of your shoulders and your hair lay unbound down your back.

That day had been one of the best days of his life, he had gotten to know you beyond your profession and learnt so much about you, but the nagging feeling that you were omitting some truth tugged at him, but not enough for him to make a deal about it. Azriel had kissed you under the stars, he had run his fingers through your hair and kissed you so passionately that you swore the world had stopped moving just so it could watch you

Since then, you had been inseparable.

Azriel showed up at the school each day after that, sometimes in the morning at drop off or in the evening at pick up, sometimes both, and he always brought you flowers or chocolates or anything he could think of that would bring a smile to those lips. He would walk you home, but more often than not he would pull you inside the River House and force you to have dinner with them.

You never objected to his wishes, you enjoyed his hands on you far too much to say no.

Azriel was happy to take things slow with you, you were so gentle and pure, if you wanted to wait years to share a bed with him then he was okay with that. You were worth any wait.

One morning you had opened the door to the school, frowning slightly when you couldn't see Azriel or Feyre and Rhys with little Nyx waiting on the grass. They would have told you if Nyx wasn't well and needed to take the day off unless it was serious, but even then, Azriel still would have showed up on the grass with our without Nyx just to see you.

It plagued your mind all day, and you did your best to conceal your worry from the children and continue as normal, but when it came to home time and none of them were there, you knew something wasn't right.

You had locked the room up quickly and stopped by a healer to pick up some infant friendly tonics just in case Nyx needed anything, bundling the vials in your hands as you rushed down the winding streets of Velaris, allowing your feet to take you where you needed to go whilst your mind reeled with endless possibility.

Lifting the hem of your skirt as you ascended the steps of the River House, you completely missed the scent that haunted your nightmares, too frantic with worry to notice it curling around you like chains. Then you saw the back of his head, shoulder length blonde hair and broad shoulders, and then the scent hit you, one of Spring rain and lifeful earth, and you dropped the vials in your hands onto the floor, not even flinching when they broke and cut through your skin.

The thing in question turned his head to the side and sniffed, smirking with feral delight before he fully turned to you, and you saw nothing else but him and those eyes that had made you do things you didn't want to too many times, they were dark and honed in on their prey. His lips tilted upward and he rose to his feet, and you didn't hear anything anyone else was saying or commanding as he strode across the room and stopped right in front of you. You didn't dare look up, you couldn't, and then his fingers gripped your chin harshly and forced your gaze upward.

"I've been looking for you," the room held a collective breath, his shoes crunched down on the broken glass and the liquid parted under his weight.

You knew that they were all watching you, waiting for you to say something, you averted your gaze to Azriel who was on his feet, fists clenched and glowering at the male who dared to touch you, "Nyx didn't show up to school, I thought he was sick, I was bringing tonics."

Feyre rose to her feet beside Rhys, "It's okay, Y/N," her eyes were soft, she could feel your terror, they all could, and then it seemed like your secret and finally been released from the depths of your shame, "Let go of her, Tamlin."

Tamlin chuckled but didn't take his eyes off of you, he cocked his head to the side and breathed you in, "Don't tell me to take my hands off what is mine," his voice was dangerously low, possession had taken over every part of him and the wolf was coming out to play, "Isn't that right, fiancé?"

"I'm not your fiancé," tears bubbled at the corners of your eyes and Azriel saw how small Tamlin made you feel, your shoulders had curled inward, your entire body was preparing to protect itself against the male who held your head in his hands. You looked to Azriel then, "I ran. I couldn't do it," you blinked hard and your tears flowed down your cheeks.

"Just because you ran doesn't mean that the agreement is void, Flower," you cringed, you felt helpless in his grip, like all of the independence you had worked for was nothing but dust dancing in the breeze, "The Tithe has been particularly awful without you."

Azriel lost it then, he grabbed Tamlin by the shoulder and forced him round, the action making his hand jolt away from your face, and Azriel landed a sickening blow to the side of his face.

"This is not a battle you want to fight, Tamlin," Rhys stood beside Azriel who was panting with fury, he knew what the Tithe was, they all did, and the thought of Tamlin using your unwilling body as a vessel for his sickening ritual was enough to send Azriel into a blind rage.

Azriel bent down to Tamlin's level, noticing Feyre rush to your side as he did to comfort you, and growled, "Touch her again and it won't be a battle, Tamlin. It will be a war."

Tamlin had the gall to grin, "She's my fiancé, Shadowsinger. Not even you can get between that."

"No, but I can," Cassian grabbed Tamlin by the neck of his coat, hauling him to his feet in front of Rhys, "Y/N is a member of the Night Court, she is a cherished member of my family. She is not your mate, so you have no claim on her and you know it. Now, leave my city before I cut your head from your shoulders and leave Spring lordless."

Knowing he wouldn't win on Night Court soil, Tamlin scoffed and headed for the door, not before stopping at your side and letting his gaze roam your figure, "They can't watch you forever. I'll see you soon, Flower."

Then he left.

And you stood standing in Feyre's arms pale and frozen, looking at the broken glass on the floor and shaking your head, "I have to go," you announced, peeling yourself out of Feyre's embrace and feeling like a completely awful friend to her, "I'm sorry."

"Y/N.."

You couldn't stick around and listen to her call your name, you couldn't stay there and witness Azriel looking at you like a stranger. So you ran. You ran all the way home, you didn't stop for a single moment until you closed the door behind you and slid down the wood, bursting into chest wrecking sobs.

If anyone would know who you were, it would be Lucien Vanserra, he was Tamlin's friend after all.

The red haired male found himself dragged before the Inner Circle by Elain, a thing he detested, he had just returned from the human realm and wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up with his mate, sitting in front of them was something he wanted to be rid of and fast.

"What do you know about Y/N? She came from the Spring Court," Lucien's eyes widened in saddening alarm at Feyre's question, he looked about the room as if you'd pop out from a corner at any given second.

"She's here?" Feyre nodded, "How is she?"

The question took them by surprise, and confirmed what they already knew, that you certainly we no double agent, but they had to know your story, it was a matter of protecting you, "She could be better. Tamlin was here."

Lucien's eyes darkened into molten lava pools and his nostrils flared, "Did he see her?" the silence confirmed his own query and he looked deflated, his shoulder fell and sadness floated over his face, enough sadness that Elain had moved to his side and wrapped his hand in her own.

"We need to know everything," Rhys ordered, moving his gaze to Azriel who was itching to leave the house and go to you, but even he had to know what had happened.

The Autumn male sighed, feeling conflicted, not wanting to tell your story for you but knowing he had no choice, "Y/N belongs to a very powerful Spring Court family, her father wanted a direct line to Tamlin so offered up his eldest daughter, Y/N, for marriage. Her father was a prick, no doubt still is. He sold Y/N to Tamlin like she was worth nothing more than what she could breed. She tried so hard to put off marrying him, she wanted a long engagement so that she could get to know Tamlin but everyone knew she just wanted more time to find a way out. Then the Tithe came and even I couldn't stop him from taking her into that cave," Lucien looked to Feyre who knew Tamlin all too well to know that what he was saying was nothing but the truth.

"Each year after that first Tithe, he sought her out against her will, you could hear her crying bouncing off of the walls. I couldn't watch it anymore so I helped her escape, I gave her enough money to be able to travel the continent and never heard from her again. I just did all I could to throw him off, to keep him away from her. Y/N was the happiest person in Spring, everyone loved her so much, and Tamlin ruined her."

"Seems like a pattern," Feyre cleared her throat and settled into Rhys' warmth that had wrapped around her like a blanket. She felt horrible, she thought she had it bad, but at least Tamlin never took her against her will like he had done to you repeatedly.

"Feyre I don't want to compare, but you have to understand that what he did to you was not nearly as bad as what he did to her. He took her light away, he forced her into a darkness I've never seen before or seen since, the neglection was sickening, she would cry for days on end, she'd mourn the life she dreamed of. It was unbearable."

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips, "She made it here though, I knew she'd find where she belonged in the end."

"Why didn't she tell me? I would have understood."

Rhys shushed his mate, he knew how much Feyre loved you, they all did, "Sometimes you don't want to talk about what others made you do," his mind drifted and eyes glazed over as he remembered his own story for a moment, the painful memories tugging at his heartstrings.

Rhys knew how it felt to be used against your own will, he knew how it felt to lie there each night and feel like a worthless pawn in someone else's game. He knew how it felt to work yourself into exhaustion trying to forget the terrors others had willingly inflicted on you.

If anyone could truly understand you, then it would be him. And there was no way he was going to let you lock yourself away and perish with shame when you had a family and life awaiting you.

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lesolehabitantdelalune · 10 months

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“ 𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘩𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

𝘐 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴, 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. ”

- Acosf (Feysand’s Bonus Chapter) by @sjmaas ✨

Art by @/ehmandinha (insta)

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rainingriversofyou · 3 months

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Feyre, Rhysand & Nyx - A Court Of Thorns And Roses

Artist: chelzd_art

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high-queen-feyre · 1 month

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Feyre being a mom fills me with so much joy, like yeah babe, tell em how it's done.

Both Feyre and Rhysand will break the cycles, Feyre being an attentive mother that she didn't have and Rhys being the affectionate father that he didn't have.

I'm ok... I'm not tearing up... I'm good.

#acotar #feyre archeron #pro feyre #pro feyre archeron #feyre cursebreaker #feyre acotar #high lady feyre #high lady of the night court #feysand #feyre and rhysand #feysandnyx #rhys x feyre #nyx archeron #rhysand acotar #feyre x rhysand #rhysand

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reiincarnatiion · 1 month

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shadows of destiny | azriel x reader | part three

summary: azriel jealous and yearning for Y/N

🧚‍♀️

a/n: sorry guys for the long assss wait, ive been on exchange in the uk so i have been busy living life hehe, still here and loving it!! hope you guys like this one, love you all cuties <33 also this isnt proof read so sorry for any mistakes! let me know what you think, i love all of your sweet messages !! eeeeeee

read : [part one] [part two]

-----🩷🧚‍♀️💗------

You woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and a parched mouth, confused as to how you had made it to your bed from last night. The morning sun streamed through the curtains, casting a hazy glow over your room.

Groaning loudly, you cursed as you shifted your weight around, consequently turning your head to come face to face with Lucien's chiseled features, peacefully sleeping next to you. It took you a second to realize he was shirtless as well.

You screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

His mechanical eye swirled open, followed by his other. "Tell me we didn't."

"DID what," Lucien murmured, a small smirk gracing his features as he stared up at the ceiling. Amusement danced in his eyes as he stretched languidly against the sheets. His morning rasp tingled inside you and nicked at you annoyingly. This could not have happened. The headache of whatever liquids and maybe even other substances you had consumed yesterday hit you hard, and you fell back to face the ceiling as well, nausea threatening to overwhelm you.

"You little slut, you know what I meant," you groaned, rolling onto your front in a feeble attempt to quell the oncoming headache and urge to vomit.

You felt Lucien shift next to you as well, attempting to detangle himself from the crisp black sheets of your bed. "We must have done it."

"NO Lucien."

"YES."

"NO, I CAN'T-"

"…why not," Lucien breathed out. His demeanor had changed since you last saw him sober; something had happened last night, and you could not remember, but he was acting differently.

"All I am saying is that last night made me realize things about you, Y/N…" he continued, rising from the sheets. You raised your eyes in horror, ready to scream because you did not want to get flashed by fiery dick-

-a pair of orange breeches came into view.

"Oh."

"Upset that we didn't actually sleep together, Y/N?"

An unknown feeling of red-hotness spread throughout your face, turning your cheeks pink. "I hate you, Lucien," you hummed.

"What did you realize, Lucien?"

"That I pretend to not care the way Azriel and Elain make heart eyes at each other, but on the inside, it's like a knife twisting inside me," he deadpanned, and you couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"What???" he groaned, falling down next to you. "Nothing, Luc, I just feel sorry for us, that's all.

Azriel sat at the dining table, swirling the black coffee mindlessly. It was 2 pm, and his shadows had begun reporting how the others had finally begun stirring awake after their long night. They had gotten back at 5 am, the sun slowly beginning to peek through the trees and buildings of Velaris, and he had watched from afar as Lucien carried Y/N to her room.

He had not come out afterwards. His shadows had been in an unfamiliar frenzy, yelling to slip through and see what was happening in that bedroom, to investigate how good he gave it to her because Azriel just knew. He knew he could give it to her better.

He clenched his fists at the picture his shadows had painted for him of the events which probably had unfolded in her room. What was it with his sexual urges with Y/N all of a sudden? She was just his friend. She had always just been his friend. Maybe he had had a little crush on her before. Maybe when she would walk into a room and his palms would sweat, he would chastise himself for wearing too many layers. Or how when she used to make his heart beat irregularly, he would tell Rhys about anxiety. It was easier to let them think he had a disorder rather than admit feelings. Because maybe, just maybe he had had slight feelings towards her for centuries. But there was Elain now.

He liked Elain.

"Good Morning Azriel!" a sweet voice chirped, as Elain entered the dining room, a sweet tea held in her perfectly manicured hands. Even after a night out, she looked perfect. Her hair looked freshly blow-dried, and her lips tinted pink, looking fresh and kissable. He smiled gently, and her eyes brightened as she took a seat next to him, murmuring things about last night and how odd it was to see Lucien with Y/N.

"I just don't think he should have danced like that with her, what do you think?" she whispered, her eyes shining.

"I know it was disrespectful to you," Azriel nodded back, looking into her glassy doe eyes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he felt a sudden burst of movement from his shadows, but the warning wasn't quick enough as two figures walked into the room.

God, she looked horrible.

Elain let out a comical gasp, and the corner of his mouth lifted as Y/N walked into the room, her hair messy and disturbed, like someone had pulled on it, ran their hands through it. Her presence snatched on his gaze, it pulled it towards him, and Azriel found himself unable to look away.

Her eyes lazily dragged over Azriel, raking up his body, and never before had he felt so hot. But he did not break eye contact with her either, he maintained it, willing and daring her to break it first.

Their eyes met in a silent battle of wills, a tension simmering beneath the surface as they sized each other up. It was a fleeting moment, but it spoke volumes, leaving Azriel reeling in its wake.

"Lucien, can we talk?" Elain broke the silence.

Everyone blinked and looked at the innocent girl sitting down. Azriel watched as she looked into Lucien’s eyes, with her innocent look, and he mentally chuckled. She was doing damage control, and it was working because his shadows were reporting the increase in Lucien’s heartbeat.

“Of course,” Lucien whispered and pushed past Y/N, whisking Elain away out of the room.

Charged silence followed. Azriel went back to nursing his coffee which had gone cold now. He felt Y/N scoff and mutter something under her breath which sounded a whole lot like "bitch," as she moved around the place, into the connecting kitchen, trying to will the House to make her a cup of its strongest coffee. They didn’t say a word to each other, but Azriel could feel the tension in the air. He didn’t know where it had formed from, what abyss it had risen from, he just knew there was something that needed to be addressed between them before his head and his heart exploded.

“What was that from last night?” he let out a breath finally, his shadows jittering around the place. He looked up from his swirling black coffee to see Y/N cease her movements in the corner of the kitchen. Her short night dress, barely covering her ass, had ridden up as she had been bent over the kitchen bench. Azriel felt himself stiffen, so he looked away quickly, adjusting himself.

“What do you mean,” she replied, turning around with a neutral expression on her face, guarding her emotions. She carefully padded her way to the table, setting the coffee down and placing herself directly in front of him. Her scent wafted over him, and his jaw ticked, but he didnt show any emotion. His dark eyes bore into hers, his shadows fought to sift over her, wanting to know her thoughts, her feelings, her emotions. Alas, she showed nothing.

“You and Lucien…” he drawled out, pretending to ask nonchalantly.

“We just danced to Azriel, I was really drunk,” she whispered softly, placing her hands together on her lap.

“You emerged from the same room,” he replied calmly.

As she cocked her head to the side, her hair falling onto her face, time seemed to slow down. Her long eyelashes were stunning, and her deep eyes looked at Azriel with something so unsaid, that the raw intensity sent shivers down his spine.

Azriel knew at that moment that he could no longer leave these unanswered feelings of his left hanging. He wasn't a dumb male; if his body was responding to Y/N like this for so long, there was clearly a reason. And it was not a dumb crush.

He had forced himself to believe for so long, that Elain should belong to him. Three brothers for three sisters, that is what he would tell himself.

Yet something had shifted between them two, a subtle undercurrent that left Azriel reeling. It was something deeper, something undeniable. And as he met Y/N's gaze, he knew that he could no longer ignore the pull that drew him to her, the pull of something real, something worth fighting for.

taglist : @allyjoe755 @impossibelle @t0uch-starved-h0e @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @marina468 @cassan1306 @mich0731 @bubybubsters @azzydaddy @sunnym1nd @lupinswolfsbanes @tcris2020 @kazbrkker @hungryforbatboys @f4iry-bell @menaosama @kennedy-brooke @dudssebm @written-in-the-stars06 @lahoete @hereticdance @ultrakawaiinerd @nyotamalfoy @topaz125 @fae-glamour-petrichorus @rachelnicolee @wannabewolf @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival @dressed-in-prada @5moremin @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @lesliemurillo @feyres-fireheart @positivewitch @quackitysdrugdealer @saltedcoffeescotch @kalulakunundrum @mirandasidefics @crazylokonugget @isa1b2h3 @girl-who-writes-stuff @hayrunnwr @acourtofmoonlightandstars @lucky7rosie @mokanesa

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heartless-tate · 3 months

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Holding you until you fall asleep. - K. Cigarettes after sex

RHYSAND X READER

Summary; just a short little comfort fic. Reader has a bad day, Rhys puts you to sleep.

warnings; cussing maybe? Really short just a Drabble. I wrote this mostly for myself. Rhysand blocks out negative thoughts, bad day, little bit of angst with comfort, No use of Y/n, I didn’t have time to look over or edit sorry!

word count; around 500 words

a/n; Heyy! This is just a little comfort fic. Hope you enjoy.

Warmth. Complete and utter warmth was all you felt as leathery wings tucked you in closer.

Today had been a bad day. No- an awful day. So many bad things kept happening that eventually whenever you couldn’t get your pen to work, you had bursted into tears. In front of everyone. Embarrassingly so.

Everyone had gone silent watching as you threw the pen on the table and stomped away shutting yourself in your mate’s room. He hadn’t been there yet, off at the Illyria camps ensuring everything was okay. The laughter and talking began soon after you slammed the door shut to his room and climbed into his bed. Big fat wet tears raced down your face as you shoved your head into a pillow and screamed.

Rhysand had found you a few minutes later, wasting no time in removing his clothes that stunk and putting on cleaner ones. And then carefully lifting you up into his arms as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He had you straddle his waist as he shushed you with a finger to your lips. His heart broke into tiny fragments at seeing you cry. He gently kissed away your tears, before placing his forehead on yours and holding your face with two hands. His thumbs mindlessly rubbed gently at your cheeks as he peered into your eyes.

You said nothing, wanting to squirm under his watchful gaze but you knew he wouldn’t let you go. It took a while for you to realize he genuinely loved you and would never judge you when the bond first snapped. But now you knew he loved you no matter what. You eyes closed as you felt talons scraping lovingly at your mind asking for permission to enter. You opened your shields allowing your mate in, to see everything.

He carefully absorbed everything that had happened today before starting to block any negative thoughts. He’d let you see any thoughts of importance in the morning but for now, he was very aware you wouldn’t close your eyes and sleep with all the stress you had locked up in your mind. He started hiding and removing any evidence of your bad day, relaxing and calming your mind to a peaceful stillness of only positive thoughts. He didn’t plant thoughts in your head- he just only let you think peacefully.

It was comforting- not having to struggle to control your hurricane of a mind. You briefly felt Rhys moving you so he cradled you while laying down. You now laid in his left wing while his right was laid over you as a protective shield from the outside world. Everything went quiet, and heat radiated from his body. You felt his talons caressing and holding your mind for you and it was a strange type of relief you had never felt before. As he whispered comforting and loving words in your ears, all you could do was fight for your eyes to stay open- to listen to his praise. But his hand came to lovingly rub your back.

You eyes shut and as you drifted to a comforting sleep, the last thing you heard was,

“I will love you for eternity, my darling.”

#rhysand #rhys acotar #nyx archeron #x reader #imagine #rhysand x reader #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #acomaf #acowar #x you #rhysand X you #short drabble #rhys #azriel #inner circle

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daydreaming-nerd · 9 hours

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The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 3 (Azriel's Version)

Part One , Part 2

AN: "Majesty, Palo is exhausted. Because Majesty only Palo can take this (angst) and this (groveling) and give you...a masterpiece."

No fr guys I put my whole puss into this plz tell me if you liked it

check out my masterlist

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right?

Warnings: angst, fluff like so much fluff, no editing (I'm so tired omg)

Word count: 9,370

We arrived in the house in silence, the only thing to fill the void was the crackling of the enchanted fire that always sprang to life whenever I walked through the door. My eyes were fixed on the floorboards, studying every grain of wood as I put together what had just happened.

I had told Azriel about the bond, and I did it in anger. I had imagined telling him a million different ways over the past 400 years but never did imagine doing it out of spite. I was just so angry with Elain and her insufferable entitlement that had me seeing red. If anyone should act in such a manner, it should be me, I was a princess after all.

I was furious with Elain there was no doubt about that, but the voice that kept echoing in my mind was Azriel’s. How he yelled at me. I had known him my whole life and I had never once been afraid of him, until today.

As if he was tired of the silence, Lucien brushed his hand under my chin bringing my gaze to his, it wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying.

“Are you okay?” he asked, brows furrowing at my tear stained cheeks.

“Yeah,” I laughed him off, wiping the water from my face.

“I’m sorry I interfered like that, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to speak to him or if you wanted me to kick his ass. But he seemed mad and I wouldn’t stand for him yelling at you.” Lucien apologized leaning against the back of the couch a good three feet away sensing I needed some space.

“I suppose that I wasn’t sure what I wanted either,” I sigh leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you for stepping in. I think it was for the best.”

“Of course, I’ll always be there for you,” Lucien nods before resuming his staredown with the floor, probably trying to make sense of everything just like I was. “Az seemed…concerned for you. I think the bond snapped for him.”

“It did,” I say, running my hand over my chest, as if I could touch the faint glow of the bond that now sat in my chest. “It clicked the moment he saw us in the kitchen.”

“Are you happy it clicked?” he asked, once again asking all the questions I truly didn’t have an answer for, at least not yet.

“I-I’m not sure.” I say honestly, knowing I didn’t need to hide my true feelings from Lu. “I’ve pictured him finding out a million ways, but over the last couple years I’ve kind of given up on the whole endeavor. I felt like I made it clear that I liked him, and he only met me with complaints about other women. First Mor and then Elain.”

“Maybe he’s changed,” Lucien pointed out.

“Even if he had it’s not because he loves me.” I murmured sadly. “You heard him in there. He only wants me because he feels entitled to me. He never once acted like he cared about me beyond being his best friend's little sister.”

“I suppose you’re right, it’s hard to forgive 400 years of cruel behavior,” Lucien muttered, still staring at that little spot on the floor.

I strode across the room and leaned against the couch with him. I wanted to say something, anything to break the silence. But it was as if all the air had been sucked from the room in one foul swoop. I had just let out a 400 year old secret and for the first time ever, our mates seemed to give a damn about us. I look to Lucien who is still processing everything and I recall how Elain was so upset to see her mate with another female.

“Elain…” I started, wanting to tread carefully. “She seemed pretty upset,” I said, only stating the obvious.

Lucien chuckled, “Yeah, I think that’s the first time she’s ever called me her mate.”

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask wanting to give him the same room to speak that he gave me. I knew if he didn’t feel like sharing he wouldn’t, Lucien was no pushover.

“I feel strangely happy,” he says and for the first time since we got back his lip curls into a half smile. “I think that she might be willing to give me a chance.”

My heart warms at the idea of Lucien finally getting to have a chance with his true mate, “I’m really happy for you Lu,” I smile, patting his hand that sat on the back of the couch.

He snaps out of his trance, “that’s not to say that you’re not- you’re a wonderful woman y/n-” he rambles.

“Hey, HEY!” I shout getting his attention. “I’m happy for you Lucien. You deserve this,” I laugh at his attempt to not hurt my feelings.

“Thank you y/n,” he smiles, grabbing my hands and squeezing them.

“What do we do now though,” I sigh looking at his family ring on my finger.

His eyes flit to the ring as well as his thumb brushes over it, “We continue on as normal, we can push back the wedding. I’m not confident in what Elain wants from me at this point and you clearly are at odds with Azriel. If things don’t work out…” he trails off thinking about hsi next words. “If things don’t work out I would still be honored to have you as my wife. I still feel like we could make eachother happy.” he says earnestly.

I look into his eyes of russet and gold and see that he truly means every word, “Okay,” I nod my voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay,” he agrees, keeping his voice down as well. “Shall we head to bed?” he asks.

“We shall,” I laugh, following him up the stairs.

That night we didn’t make love, we cuddled as normal though, but somehow even that felt wrong, now that the bond I prayed over for so long hummed within my chest.

While the little High Lord in training was typically quite docile, he had just learned to crawl and had begun flapping his little wings, which meant trouble was becoming the new normal. Which is exactly what had happened today…

“Nyx no!” I shouted as he reached for a heavy book on one of the bookshelves, his tiny wings helping him to gain the extra inch or two of ground he needed.

I grabbed him from underneath his shoulders and brought him into my arms, bouncing him on my hip as his eyes caught the shiny necklace I was wearing. His little hands grabbed at it and I figured it was better than a vase or another heavy book.

“Just wait till he can actually fly,” Lucien chuckled, coming up behind me.

“That won’t be for quite a while thankfully,” I laugh, bouncing the babe up and down.

“Are you so sure about that? Cassian seems to already be giving him lessons.” he points out.

“I don’t even want to think about a flying toddler,” I scoff and Lucien chuckles behind me.

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I could feel his lips curling into a smile.“You’re going to be a great mother one day” he admitted.

“I’ve always wanted children,” I said and a beat of silence passed until I decided to be bold. “Lu, do you think we could ever have children?” I ask, afraid to turn around and possibly see a wary look on his face.

I felt Lucien’s chuckle reverberate behind me, “Of course, I’ve always been fond of children myself,” he laughed.

I whipped around with Nyx to search his eyes for a hint of uncertainty, but he seemed happy about the idea, “Really?” I asked in disbelief.

“Of course,” he assured me.

“I want a million just like little Nyx here,” I smile looking at the babe in my arms.

“Minus the wings of course,” Lucien laughs behind me and I pause.

My entire life I had always pictured my children with wings. Small, delicate little things that I would ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over. I remembered seeing the Illyrian children in Windhaven growing up, I was always so happy when mothers would let me hold their babies, their wings so adorably small. I looked forward to having winged children of my own, I always pictured them scaling Azriel when they were little like Nyx, and as they got older I would watch as Az taught them to fly.

“What is it my dear?” Lucien asked, breaking me out of my trance.

“Oh it’s nothing, it’s just that when I pictured my children I always figured they would have wings,” I say, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s temple.

As if summoned, Azriel walked in, Rhys and Feyre in tow, signaling that their meeting was over. His eyes flitted to me, no doubt having heard what I had said. Lucien’s hand tightened on my hip.

Feyre’s eyes sparkled at the sight of her son and Rhys eyes sparkled at the sight of Feyre taking their babe from my arms. I reluctantly gave Nyx back, already missing being able to pretend he was my own.

“He was a little angel,” I report to Feyre.

“If by angel you mean hellion,” Lucien chuckles behind me.

“I would expect nothing less from a child raised by this family,” Rhys laughed, wrapping one arm around Feyre and brushing a hand against his son’s cherub cheeks.

A silence rolled over the room as we all watched the little family reunite. I couldn’t help but flit my eyes to Azriel, who looked at them with a grin and a longing in his eyes. His eyes find me and I don’t dare look away.

“Can we talk?” Azriel asked timidly, taking a step away from the doorway he leaned against. Feyre and Rhys take out of the room, no doubt feeling the change in the atmosphere.

I searched his eyes for a hint of aggression but all I found was remorse, “Yes we may,” I say quietly.

Lucien releases his grip on my hip as I follow Azriel into Rhysand’s study and close the door behind me with a resolute click signaling that I was locked in here with him. Az takes up residence by Rhys’ desk, leaning against it like some sort of tortured man. I couldn’t help but notice he was still in his fighting leathers, his wings tucked in tight and his knuckles perched over his lips, like he was contemplating what to say. Even now, when he was at his most vulnerable, he was so beautiful.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I yelled at you and I shouldn’t have,” he says fidgeting a bit. “Its just… it’s just that I was so pissed when I found him with his hands all over you and you just seemed so happy.”

He sighs running a hand through his hair staring at the ground, still unable to meet my eyes.

“I think that’s what bothered me the most,” he continues. “You seemed…happy.”

“You were upset because I was happy?” I scoff furrowing my brows at him, the fucking gall of this male.

“No, no! Gods y/n,” he corrects me, running his hands down his face clearly upset with himself. “I think I was upset because I wasn’t the one making you happy.” he finally says and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice.

I’m completely taken back by his words, at the fact that he admitted that he wanted to be the one to make me happy like that. The way Lucien did. It didn’t make any sense, given the fact that he never showed me in the last 400 years.

“That’s funny coming from a male who’s been complaining to me about the females he’s been in love with for the past 400 years.” I deadpan, crossing my arms.

“Is that how long you’ve known? 400 years?” he asked me, voice rising a bit.

I nod, “I knew the night you danced with me on solistance in the Hewn City all those years ago,” I confess.

“Fuck y/n,” he groans running his hands down his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you started panting after Mor and the second you gave up on her in walked Elain!” I shouted, it was the most obvious thing ever as to why I didn’t tell him.

“You had to know that you were first,” he says, snapping his head up to meet mine, pleading in those hazel eyes.

I gave him a blank stare not knowing what he was talking about.

“Please tell me you know you were the first, before Mor, before Elain, I was practically on my knees for you,” he confessed.

Once again I’m left speechless. Could it be true? That he had wanted me before I even knew about the bond?

I shook my head, even if it was true he was speaking in past tense. I didn’t want him to be my mate because he felt like he had to be, I wanted him to love me, truly love me. I wanted him to choose me.

“I had no idea,” I admit feeling a bit of shame. “But that doesn’t matter anymore, it’s all in the past. I’m not mad at you Azriel.”

“Thank the cauldron,” he breathes, crossing the room to cup my face.

I place my hands on his wrists and pull them away from me, “Az I think that you should be with Elain,” I say, stepping back from him.

“What? No.” he shakes his head and I take another step back.

“You clearly love her and she loves you, the cauldron made a mistake by making us mates, it's as simple as that,” I say trying to hide my tears.

I loved Az, a part of me always would, but I wouldn’t be his consolation prize just because the cauldron fucked up and made me his mate instead of Elain. I couldn’t live with that.

“No don’t say that, please don’t say that,” Az pleads, his voice softening.

“I’m sorry Azriel but I won’t be your consolation prize,” I say before grabbing the door handle and walking out into the living room where Lucien was.

Azriel goes to say more until he hears the hitch in my breath. There, before me, Lucien is tucking a stray hair out of Elain’s face and placing a kiss on her knuckles. A sweet gesture, one I’ve probably read about a thousand times in my romance novels. Lucien’s eyes flit to mine, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen him so happy.

“We’re going to give it a shot,” he smiles happily, putting an arm around Elain.

“Really?” I ask looking to Elain who smiles brightly.

“Yeah we are,” she says smiling up at Lucien.

“Oh I’m so happy for you two,” I cheer before engulfing them both in a hug.

“Congrats you guys,” Azriel mutters from behind me, seemingly abandoning whatever he was going to say to me in favor of praising his friends.

Lucien chuckles at my excitement, “Don’t get too excited, we’re going to have to move my stuff out of your place today, I think it’s time I move back into the townhouse,” he smiled.

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s get started!” I cheer, grabbing his hands to winnow us away.

In reality I wasn’t excited about the idea of moving, and much less excited about the idea of my little townhouse being empty again. But I needed to get away from Azriel.

One week later:

After the all day affair of moving Lucien’s accumulated stuff out of my house and in the townhouse I was back to loving alone. Which at first wasn’t terrible. I was content to read my book and cook for myself when necessary. But after about a week I began to miss the food Lucien would make, or having someone to lie next to. It was a strange feeling, it felt like a breakup, but I wasn’t sad. I missed having another heartbeat in the house, not Lucien himself.

After a week of getting my affairs in order my brother finally asked me for some help and I was thankful for the distraction. All week I had been in my own head about all that had happened, with Lu and Elain, with me and Az. I needed a break to think of something else.

That’s how I found myself slipping on an old day court dress and getting ready to winnow to see Helion, an old friend of mine. I was leaving the house and locking the door when I ran smack into a large chest I screamed being taken off guard.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” a familiar voice apologized, I turn to find Azriel standing before me.

“It’s okay, I should’ve been paying more attention,” I chuckle awkwardly. I hadn’t heard from the spymaster in a week, why would he come to talk to me now?

Azriel’s eyes furrow from where they tower over me, “Why are you dressed for the Day Court?” he inquires.

“Oh well,” I look down at the swaths of white fabric that cascaded down my body, suddenly feeling a bit exposed from off the shoulder dress. “Rhys wants me to go and schmooze Helion a little bit. Something about wanting to get him to agree to better trade deals.” I laugh remembering how my brother agonized over it the other day.

“So he wants you to go and flirt with Helion?” Az cocks an eyebrow at me.

“Well Helion and I go way back, and he’s always been…well keen on me.” I say honestly and I watch as Az bristles just a bit. I can’t even count the number of times the High Lord as tired to get Cassian and I in his bed

“I’ll give Rhys one thing he sure is ruthless,” Azriel chuckles trying to play off his nerves.

“Is there something I can do for you?” I ask, still wondering why he’s here, at my doorstep.

“Oh uh, no,” Azriel stutters. “Well actually I was walking by and I saw this and I thought of you.” he says pulling out a white rose. It looked like he had plucked it right off the bush down the street. “I thought you should have it.” he finished.

I take the rose from his hand and notice that the thorns have all been cut off. I eye Truth Teller strapped at his side and the lingering thorn that was still stuck on its sharp blade.

“That was very thoughtful of you Az thank you,” I tell him sweetly, taken back by his gesture.

“You’re welcome,” he says, seemingly relaxing at my acceptance of his gift.

I check my watch, “Well I really do have to go, Helion is waiting for me,” I wince moving past him on the stairs so I can get past the words my brother has on my place.

“Yes of course,” Az says following me down the steps and out the wrought iron fence. “Do you need a ride?”

“I’m okay, I can winnow,” I chuckle, closing the gate behind me.

“Well I guess I’ll see you later then,” Azriel voices with a hint of a sigh.

“Yeah I’m sure you will,” I reply before winnowing into Helion’s mansion.

How could Az be so calm about all this? It was like he was trying to force himself to have feelings for me, figuring he better learn to love me now that he’s shackled to me for eternity. Part of me wondered if Rhys had given him a firm talking to and convinced him to attempt to like me.

“There she is,” Helion mused from the top of the stairs coming down the stairs dressed in his usual attire. Part of me hated that I found him attractive, in another life, if he wasn’t so promiscuous, I might’ve seen myself standing by his side.

“Helion,” I smile, pulling him in for a hug.

When we pull away his hands linger at my waist and his eyes look at the rose in my hand. “What’s this?” he asks plucking the rose from my hand.

I think about the encounter with Azriel, how forced it all felt.

“It’s nothing,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders.

Helion tosses the flower aside before throwing his arm over my shoulder and leading me inside, “So, your brother has sent you to convince me to agree to his new trade agreements.” he smirks.

“He’s done nothing of the sort, I came to visit an old friend of my own accord,” I tease, knowing Helion isn’t as daft as Rhys makes him out to be.

“We’ll see about that new treaty after some wine, and tell your brother that next time he wants to use you against me as leverage he should just send you naked,” Helion chuckles.

I erupt in laughter, slapping his arm as he leads us to a white couch with a bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table.

Three days later after successfully getting Helion to agree to a new trade treaty I found myself sitting in my living room with a glass of wine enjoying the fruits of my labors. As soon as I told Rhys about the High Lord of Day’s cooperation he sent me one of his finest bottles of wine as a thank you. Not that I required any thanks, I enjoyed spending time with Helion.

My silence was interrupted by my door opening and closing. I just about jumped out of my skin, the only one who had the key to the place was Lucien and he had given it back a long time ago. My heart pounded as I stood from the couch in my nightgown and robe. I had turned in for the night and certainly wasn’t expecting visitors. I lift my romance novel over my head and step around he couch ready to swing when I see Azriel locking the door behind him quietly.

“Azriel you scared the hell out of me,” I sigh, lowering the book.

He turns from the door looking me up and down taking in my casual attire hungrily. “I’m sorry I guess I’m just used to walking right in, I wanted to give you these,” he says holding out a large bouquet of white roses, exactly like the kind he gave me the other day.”

“Thank you Az, they’re beautiful,” I say wearily, taking them from his scarred hands. “I’ll uh- I’ll just put them in water,” I tell him, padding into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it.

“I thought since you liked the other one I gave you that you might like those ones too,” he says walking into the kitchen and leaning in my doorway.

I place the two dozen roses in a vase,“Well I appreciate them, it’s been a while since I’ve had fresh flowers in the house,” I divulge to him, remembering how Lucien used to bring them home all the time. He would always ask for Elain to make him a bouquet, his little way of speaking to her in a way that didn’t make her uncomfortable. The thought had me thinking of how Lucien and Elain were probably sitting at a nice dinner right now, had me questioning why the fuck Azriel was here.

A silence fills the room as Azriel sits admiring either me or the flowers, from where I’m standing it could be either or. I walk around the kitchen island to test the theory and sure enough his eyes follow me as I lean my back against the side closer to him. A wave of embarrassment slips over me. Did Rhys ask him to bring more flowers again? Was I really that pathetic?

“Az why are you doing this?” I ask, gesturing to the flowers behind me.

Azriel straightens taking a tentative step towards me, “Because I want what Elain and Lucien have. I want you to give me a chance to be a good mate,” he says softly.

I look to the wooden floors below me, my bare feet messing with a loose floorboard, “You don’t have to do this Azriel. If Rhys sent you I’ll just cover for you and say you came.” I say not daring to look at him.

“I’m not here because of Rhys, I’m here because I want to see you,” he implored and I heard his feet shuffle closer.

“I’m still not your consolation prize just because Lucien and Elain are doing well. I won’t do that to myself,” I say, continuing to mess with the loose floorboard.

“You’re not my consolation prize y/n, you’re my mate.” Azriel states, his voice becoming more urgent causing me to tighten my arms around myself ever so slightly.

His boots come into my line of sight and suddenly he’s titling my chin up to meet his pleading gaze. I’m suddenly all too aware of how underdressed I was. There was a time when I would’ve killed for this. But now? I won’t let myself be hurt again.

“Y/n please-”

“Azriel I’m at peace,” I snap, cutting him off and looking down at our feet once again even though his hand still rested under my chin. “For the first time in 400 years I’m at peace. I have loved, and pined, and thrown myself at your feet for 400 years, and I am finally happy in my exile. So forgive me if I’m hesitant to give that up so quickly because you all of the sudden want a mate.” I bit out.

His shadows dance around my hands and I move my fingers out of their grasp, like their cold kiss was burning me.I wait for him to say something back, for him to breathe wrong, yell at me or leave but he doesn’t move. I let my eyes flit up to his, and I find him staring down at me, like he’s been waiting for me to look at him this whole time.

“I’m not going to give up,” he states, if he was sad or upset by my previous words he doesn’t show it.

I sigh, tossing my head back, “Az please,” I beg.

“No I’m serious, I’m not giving up on you, on us,” he maintained steadfastly, his hands not leaving my cheek as he steps even closer to me and my back hits the cool granite behind me.

“Azriel I think you should go,” I grit out, the second my body stiffens under his he steps back giving me my space.

“Alright I’ll go,” he says, taking a step back.

I follow him to the door and hold it open as he steps out into the cool night air that has me wrapping my silk robe around me tighter, as if it was helping anything anyways.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me before shooting off into the sky.

“I really wish you wouldn’t!” I shout into the air after him before slamming the door and locking it.

I take a deep breath once I’m seated on my couch again, trying to salvage any sort of peace I might still have. But that tranquility was disappearing in my hands the more I chased it.

The following day I head to Rhys’ house to talk over the new adjustments in the Day Court trade agreements. It was supposed to be easy enough, but as things got more and more complex it ended up being an all day thing. By the time I walked up the steps to my own townhouse I was exhausted and starving. I wasn’t looking forward to bread for dinner as I had no time to go to the market today.

I kicked open the door and locked it behind me, the smell of fresh tomatoes and basil wafted through the air causing me to pause in my tracks. Was Lucien here? Had him and Elain gotten in a fight or something?

“Ah shit!” I heard a male cuss followed by the searing of liquid on a burner.

I curiously walk around the corner of the kitchen where I’m greeted with the sight of Azriel, standing in my apron, reading my cookbook and stirring some sort of sauce. His shadows were helping him turn the pages of the book. I see the spilled sauce on the burner that was the cause of his profanity just moments ago.

“There you are,” he smirked, his eyes flitting up to mine before reading the book again.

“Az what are you doing here?” I ask, setting my bag down on the table.

“Making you dinner,” he said, gesturing to the numerous used pans and utensils lying around my once clean kitchen.

I walk over to inspect what he’s cooking. Fresh herb crusted chicken cooks in the pan next to him while he stirs a red sauce. In the sink is cooked pasta sitting next to freshly sauteed green beans. I inhale the smell of the food deeply and I can’t help but feel myself salivate a little, it smells delicious.

“You always dog ear the recipes you want to try but you never make them for fear of not liking them,” he says nonchalantly as he prods at the chicken.

I look down at the cookbook he’s reading, sure enough the recipe he’s making has a bent corner. I had been itching to try it but had never found the time.

“If you end up not liking it there’s take out from Rita’s in the ice box,” he said using the spoon to point to the ice box in the corner of the room.

I look up to fully inspect him. This all feels like a ridiculous practical joke. If someone had told me that my spymaster would be cooking me dinner I would’ve laughed in their face. Upon further inspection I realize he’s shirtless, save for my apron he’s wearing.

“Was the half nudity necessary?” I cock an eyebrow leaning against the counter.

Azriel barked out a laugh, “It took me a while to find the apron, I had gotten tomato juice on my shirt when I started chopping them up for the sauce so I took it off and washed it,” he explained the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “Plus I figured the whole shirtless bit might win me more brownie points with you.”

I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, I didn’t dare let him know how right he was.

He laughed at my reaction, “Why don’t you go sit down, dinner’s almost ready.” he said gesturing to the couch.

I shrugged my shoulders and padded my way over to my favorite reading spot. The one he found me in yesterday. I plop down on the velvet sofa and there in front of me on the coffee table, my book has been left open to the place I bookmarked and a glass of wine sits for me. I raise an eyebrow but decide to just roll with it, I pick up the book and sip on the wine, becoming engrossed with the story.

A few minutes later I feel the cold begin to bite at my toes. I look around for a blanket and see that the nearest one is across the room. I curse at the idea of having to move, but before I can even set my book down one of Azriel’s shadows is scurrying across the room to retrieve the knitted blanket for me. The wisp of darkness arranges the blanket neatly over my legs, tucking me in like a mother would her child. I can’t help but laugh at the care the little thing is putting into the job.

Azriel’s shadows looking out for me was nothing new, the second the bond clicked for me they tended to stay near me. Picking up pens and silverware I dropped on the floor and always twirling around my hair and wrists. There were even times they would try to drag Az near me, like on starfall and solstice, nights I looked especially beautiful. But he would always curse and wave them off until they left him alone.

The little shadow perched itself on my shoulder as if it too wanted to read my book. I could sense it was trying to anticipate any other small need I might have.

“You know he might be insufferable but you guys are pretty great,” I laugh looking at the curious being.

In response the shadow boops itself on my nose as if it was giving me a kiss.

“Don’t tell them that or they’ll get a big head,” Azriel murmurs behind me where he’s leaning against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, still shirtless and wearing that damned apron.

“In that case I’ll be sure to praise them more often, they’re little angels,” I smile as the tendril of darkness dances around my collar.

Azriel lets out a small chuckle behind me, “Dinner is ready,” he tells me before disappearing into the kitchen once more.

I follow him as the small shadow frantically pulls at my wrist towards the table, as if it’s eager for me to see what it helped its master cook. When I walk into the darkened kitchen and find that Az has set the table not only with our dinner but with candles and another bouquet. This time it’s an arrangement of jasmine, no doubt from the florist down the street.

I sit down and inhale the heavenly scent of the white flowers and hum in delight. Azriel comes in with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring us each a bit. He sees me admiring the flowers and smiles.

“Jasmine, like your perfume,” he says, putting down the bottle and taking his seat next to me.

I smile and look down at the plate before me. It looks delicious, the pasta is fragrant with basil, the chicken is cooked to perfection and the green beans are vibrant and green. I lift my fork and dig into the past first. The moment it hits my tongue the flavor melts in my mouth, rich, bold and oh so savory. I let out a moan as my eyes flit to Azriel who is watching me expectantly wondering if I’m going to like it or not.

“This is incredible,” I say, covering my mouth with my hand so he doesn’t see me chewing.

“Thank the cauldron I thought I put too much red pepper in,” he breathes out, seemingly relaxing before digging into his own plate.

“No it’s perfect, thank you really,” I say earnestly.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, taking a bite of chicken.

We sit and eat our meals in silence simply enjoying the good food. A little shadow flitted up in front of my face to gauge my reaction to the bite of chicken I was chewing. I couldn’t help but laugh as it shifted like it was cocking its head at me.

“Yes it’s very good, you did a wonderful job,” I laugh at the little fella.

My giggle brings Azriel’s attention to me once again and before I know it he’s waving his hand at the little tendril like he’s swatting a fly.

“Hey go away let her eat for the love of god,” he chastises as the shadow slinks back behind him.

“Don’t worry it wasn’t bothering me,” I laugh taking another bite of green beans.

“Yeah well they haven’t been listening lately,” he says looking back at the little shadow that had slinked behind his shoulder like a reprimanded child.

I shake my head at the two of them interacting and take another sip of wine. To be honest I wasn;t really sure what to say to Azriel. Despite his valiant efforts to win me I still wasn’t ready to abandon the peace I had grown so fond of.

“You know it’s funny,” he tells me, playing with the food on his plate. “I feel like my shadows have always liked you. It was like they knew before I did,” he laughed nervously at his confession.

“Maybe so,” I shrug, not wanting to broach the subject, the friendlier we could make this the better.

“I can remember times when they would drag me into any room that had you in it. Most of the time I control them, but when it comes to you? They control me.” he laughs while taking a sip of his wine.

“Thank you again for dinner,” I say, forcibly changing the topic of conversation. “It’s been a while since I had a home cooked meal. I think the local restaurants have my to-go orders memorized now.” I laugh.

“Lucein used to cook for you didn’t he?” Azriel asks, and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head as I play with the pasta on my plate.

“Yeah he did, he was a surprisingly good cook too,” I say, recalling the traditional Autumn Court meals he would cook all the time. They were mostly for him, for when he was feeling nostalgic, but he always left some for me as well.

Azriel sits for a moment as if debating whether or not to say something for a moment. “Did you love him?” he asks.

My fork clatters to the plate at the abrupt question and I’ve never felt so put on the spot. It was never something I had thought about in regards to the autumn court male. Love seemed like an emotion that would be reserved for Azriel and Azriel alone, until one day it wasn’t. I didn’t love Lucien, but I certainly stopped loving Az in that way, or at least I think I did.

“No I didn’t” I say honestly turning to meet the shadowsingers gaze. “Lucien and I… it was never like that. We both knew what we needed for each other, it started as just sex. But then he would stay the night, and then we started going to breakfast. His shirts started showing up in the laundry hamper, his books on the coffee table. Eventually I just gave him a key, it seemed like the logical thing to do. We didn’t even label our relationship until he asked me to marry him.”

“I wasn’t sure,” Azriel said, going back to shyly staring down at the table. “I overheard your conversation that one day. When you asked him about the possibility of having children. You said that you always pictured your children having wings, was that true?” he inquired.

I nod shallowly, unable to trust my own words in such a raw moment.

If Az had any other questions he didn’t ask them or press me to talk about the two of us, it was as if he was happy with the answers I did give him. He was perfectly content to let me finish eating my meal in comfortable silence. When I was finished he cleared the table and didn’t let me lift a finger to help clean. Instead those pesky shadows cornered me into reading my book once more.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that he came in, dressed in his shirt once more to bid me goodnight. He insisted that I stay in my comfortable spot by the couch as he walked himself out locking the door behind him. As the comfortable silence, which I had grown so used to, ensued, I found myself silently wishing he had stayed just a little longer.

The following weeks were spent with little visits from shadows and shadowsingers. Sometimes it would be Azriel showing up at my door with coffee or gifts. Other times, when Rhys had Azriel on missions he would find ways to leave things at my doorstep. The first time it was another bouquet of flowers and then chocolates.

My favorite gift from Azriel had been the books. The first set he got me was the second and third book in my series. They appeared at my door the morning after he made me dinner with a note that read…

I noticed that you were almost done with your book last night so I went out to get you the second book. I noticed it was a short book so I got you the third in case you finished it in one day like you no doubt will.

-Azriel

Of course he was right and I finished the second book by the end of the day. When I opened the third, and much longer book, to begin reading it a bookmark fell out and another note.

I figured you might need a bookmark for this one.

-Azriel

He was right about that as well.

The next book to be delivered was a classic romance with certain pages, and quotes underlined. His notes scribbled in the margins. Clearly he had taken the time to read the novel himself. When I saw the first annotation I expected his further notes to be corny or cheesy, but each one was well thought out.

The most recent literally delivery was a small and short book about different types of flowers. Between each of the pages sat a live flower that corresponded with the page. It was possibly the most vibrant and beautiful bouquet I had ever seen and by far my favorite floral gift I had received.

This week though things had been different. As the colder months were drifting in I started spending more time inside, reading by the fire. But not once had Azriel stopped by. Not a present, not a note to be found. When I subtly asked Rhys were the shadowsinger was he told me he was in the isle of Hybern.

A week had come and gone without so much as a tendril of a shadow to be seen. I sat infront of my roaring fire with a book in hand trying to escape the bitter cold. Outside the first snowfall of the year had taken the form of a blizzard. I pitied the shopkeepers that would have to walk home in it.

Around midnight I heard the scraping of metal against stone from outside my house. I jumped out of my skin and quickly looked at the clock noting the late hour. I set down my novel to wrap myself in a blanket and pad over to the front door. I could already hear the winds outside and feel the cold air seeping in through the cracks in the door.

I open the door to investigate the strange sound and I nearly gasp when I find Azriel outside my house shoveling my walkway with a small shovel from my garden. One meant for digging out plants and trees, not snow.

“Az what are you doing?” I ask, making the spymaster jump a bit.

“I’m shoveling your walkway. I didn’t want you to slip tomorrow morning or hurt your back trying to shovel it yourself,” he said, digging into the snow again with the little metal shovel.

“Oh Az you don’t have to do that,” I coo walking out into the cold pulling my blanket tighter.

“I don’t have to but I want to,” he said shoveling more snow. “It wouldn’t take so long if I had a bigger shovel.” he grunts, frustrated.

“Well why didn’t you take Rhys’ shovel?” I laughed watching as the overgrown Illyrain tried to mangle the tiny thing.

“Well I just got back from Hybern, I saw it had snowed and I came here first.” he explained and my heart swelled. He had come to my place first before he even went home. “I figured if I didn’t do it you would fall and break your head open.”

“Azriel, really you don’t have to do this, I can handle it,” I plead with him feeling bad that he’s subjected himself to the weather.

He stops his shoveling and turns to look at me, “y/n I want to do this. Don’t worry about it.” he says before looking me up in down seeing that I’m in nothing but a short nightgown and a blanket. “Now go inside before you catch a cold.”

“Me? What about you?” I laugh looking around at the snow falling around us.

“I’m Illyrian the snow doesn’t bother me,” he retorts and I can tell that he’s lying by the pink in his cheeks from the cold.

“Well I’m half Illyrian,” I counter, swinging back and forth on my heels.

“Then I’m sure half of you is really cold,” he rebuttals. “Now go back inside and get warm before I carry you inside myself.” he smirks before shoveling up another heap of snow.

I just shake my head and retreat to the warm fireplace awaiting me.

I waltz into the House of Wind where the Solstice party is in full swing. Lords from neighboring courts are chatting and drinking all around and from the corner of the room I can hear Cassian’s booming laugher as he doubles over at something Helion has said.

Like almost every solstice party I arrive fashionably late. I truly never mean to be the last to arrive, but it feels like the whole guest list decides to arrive early just to spite me. I make my way around the area where couples and children are dancing to a small quartet and head toward the bar. My dress billows behind me like liquid starlight. Just like every solstice party before this one, I will get by with copious amounts of wine.

I lean against the bar and watch as Elain and Lucien laugh and giggle across the room. I smile as Elain pops a pastry into Lu’s mouth and I can’t help but feel a warmness in my chest at the two of them. Lucien was finally happy with his mate, and if there was ever someone who deserved such happiness it was him.

My thoughts are interrupted by a shadowy friend making its presence known. Flying up by my face to say hello and then rushing behind me as if it was called. I turn to see Azriel dressed immaculately staring at me. His eyes flit up and down my body taking in every detail of me.

“You look…” He trails off, shaking his head, as if the words he was going to say wouldn’t be the right ones. “There are no words. Even the poets would get it wrong.”

I can’t help but blush at his choice of words, taking a step toward him as the shadows behind me are pushing me to do so.

“You clean up pretty good yourself, spymaster,” I chuckle giving him a once over.

He blushes and then speaks again, “I mean it, you look beautiful tonight y/n.”

I blush again and turn my head to avoid his gaze, like that shade of hazel might burn me from the inside out if I look too long.

“You must allow me to dance with you,” he says, taking both our drinks and placing them on the bar. “Not having you out on that dance floor would be a disservice to everyone here.”

I laugh taking his outstretched hand and allowing him to lead me to the dancefloor, “Alright Az you’ve convinced me, but only because I know you won’t step on my feet,”

We fall into a comfortable motion, swaying back and forth to the slow tempoed song the quartet is playing. The couples around us filter around us, some lost in deep conversation, some embraced closely swaying to the song. I keep my eyes on them, knowing that Azriel’s gaze is on me.

Memories of a solstice much like this one float through my mind. The way my feet ached before Azriel saved me, sweeping me up into a dance. The way the bond felt when it snapped into place for me. I had pulled on it so desperately hoping he might feel it too. I thought of all the years of agony that followed that night. Watching Az fall for Mor and later on Elain. Hearing my brother and Cassian talking about Azriel’s exploits in bedding local women. All of it tore me apart and it took over 200 years to rebuild the part of me that I had lost. I wondered if I would ever be whole like that again.

I hear Elain and Lucien’s laughter once more, the sound breaking me from my thoughts as Azriel and I continue to sway to the music.

“They make a great couple,” Azriel’s deep voice rumbles through me.

I smile watching Lucine place a kiss to his mates lips, “They really do,” I say with a lightness to my voice.

“Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” He asks tentatively and my world comes crashing down.

“Az,” I say and his face falls at the dismissal in my tone.

“Why not y/n? Why can’t we have a shot like they can?” Azriel says starting to get upset.

As if on queue the song that the quartet is playing ends and I hear the musicians flipping through their sheet music to find the next song. I pull my hands out of Azriel’s and take a few steps back.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” I say calmly, trying not to let the damn of tears break. I swiftly move past him towards the door.

“Y/n wait!” I hear him call out behind me but I’m already out the door, my tears falling down my face as I make my way back to that empty townhouse in the middle of the city.

The rain outside my house slams into the window violently. Spring has come early in Velaris and I wasn’t exactly upset about it. At least I wasn’t until this torrential downpour blew into town. I hadn’t seen rain like this in the Night Court for at least a hundred years now.

It’s been weeks since solstice and it seems that Azriel has finally taken the hint and left me alone. I hadn’t heard a peep from him since that dance. Not a flower, chocolate or shadow to be seen and while I should be happy about it I had never been sadder. After all the walls I put up trying to keep my peace it seemed that he had succeeded in breaking them down again.

I sat by the fire staring down at the dancing flames, no book, not even a glass of wine or tea. Just me and my all consuming thoughts. Each one of them led back to hazel eyes and blue siphons.

I jump at the sound of a fist pounding on my door. Pulling my sweater tighter to cover up my nightgown I walk over to investigate who would have the guts to stand out in this monsoon at this hour. When I open the door I find Azriel bracing his arms against the doorframe, out of breath like he ran here. His hair soaking wet and sticking to his brow as the rain pelted him.

“Az?” I shout over the sound of rain.

“I can’t go on like this any longer y/n, I won’t do it!” he shouts over the storm.

“Az it’s pouring what are you-”

“I love you y/n!” he shouts stopping me mid sentence. “From the moment I met you I knew. I wanted so badly to put my hands around your waist and kiss you. And if you’re wondering why that seems like such an adolescent dream it’s because that’s what we both were. I was 117 years old and you were 115 and that’s all I wanted. I knew little of love, even less of lust. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss you,” he hollers over the sound of rain wiping the water from his eyes.

“I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve hurt you, but I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, because I love you. And I don’t care that you don’t love me too, because I love you y/n. I choose to love you!” he finishes and I can’t tell if it's rain falling from his eyes or tears that match my own.

I choose to love you.

I take a shaky breath and take in the sheer desperation on his face, “I love you too Azriel,” I laugh feeling another tear slip down my cheek.

He doesn’t waste a moment, stepping through my threshold and cupping my cheek to place a searing kiss on my lips. I melt into him, feeling his clothes soaking my own as my nightgown clings to my skin. His hands are on my waist, scarred and cold from the elements but still so intoxicating. My arms wrap around him pulling him further into the entryway. I hear him slam the door shut with his boot drowning out the sound of rain leaving only the music of our ragged breaths as he kisses me deeper.

He pulls away to press his forehead to mine, his wet hair and skin causing drops of water to cascade down my own face.

“I love you so much,” he breathes cupping my cheek to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “My mate.”

I pull him in deeper at the utterance of those two little words. I had waited 400 years for this male to kiss me, and this kiss right here? Well it made everything all the more worth it.

Epilogue: 5 years later

I stand outside on the lawn of the townhouse. My arms clutching around the sweater I’m wearing as the fresh spring air blows over my skin. My hands drift lower to the small bump of my stomach.

I was only a few months pregnant and barely starting to show. Elain had told me that it would be a girl claiming she had seen it in a vision. I couldn’t have been more excited for Azriel to be a girl dad.

“You’re doing it son!” I hear my mate call from the sky where he teaches our son to fly.

“Dad, I'm flying!” the onyx haired child shouted as he flapped his wings to pick up some speed.

At first I was apprehensive of him learning to fly so early, even though it had always been a dream of mine to watch my children learn to fly. But Azriel had assured me that the youngster was more than ready, and after a few weeks of lessons here he was taking to the air like a natural.

I look around at the townhouse behind me. It had seen some significant changes since the night Azriel stood in the rain and told me he loved me. The front yard was littered with toy swords and shields, and the outside had a fresh coat of paint. The inside had a room addition, a room for our son, Kai, and now we're adding another room for our daughter. All paid for by Rhys of course who was more than happy to give his nephew and niece everything under the sun.

My thoughts are interrupted by Azriel slamming into the ground before me. I turn to see him walking over to me with a smile on his face.

“Az shouldn’t you be up there with him?!” I fuss looking to where our son swoops and dives through the air.

Azriel laughs and picks me up bridal style, pressing a kiss to my lips.

“It didn’t feel right being up there without my girls,” he smiled nodding to my bump.

Without warning he took off into the sky meeting Kai up there. We must’ve spent hours flying around the city, stopping by every uncle and aunt's house to show them Kai’s new skill. Everything was perfect, and for the first time in my whole life, I finally knew peace.

(Do you guys want a smutty bonus chapter of what they did after he confessed his love???)

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ravencoloredroses · 10 months

Text

First Time

Nyx x Reader

Summary: Nyx and Reader are together, but they’ve never been together……

Word Count: 3,787

Warnings: SMUT

A/N: Thank you for reading!! Please let me know what you think! <3

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Nyx’s POV

I have no idea how to tell her. The love of my life, my mate, my everything. I need to tell her why I haven’t tried to take the next step in our relationship. We’ve been together for around 6 months and they’ve been the best months of my life. When I was a little boy, I was infatuated with the concept of mates. The idea that there is someone out there perfectly made to be with you and you to them. I asked a lot of questions, but no one ever went into detail. No one ever mentioned that the bond must be accepted and they certainly didn’t mention how it was accepted. That’s the part that worries me.

Y/N and I have never talked about sex before so we don’t know each other's pasts. I have never done it before, but nobody knows that. Not even my family. When they sent me away to Windhaven I was given ‘the talk’. Really all we talked about was that it would be best to take a contraceptive tonic. My dad has been giving me bottles of this tonic because he thinks that I’m sexually active. Unbeknownst to him, I have a stockpile of the bottles under my bed because I’m too embarrassed to tell him the truth.

My first kiss was with Y/N, but nobody needs to know that either. I try not to think about the fact that I might not have been hers. And if I wasn’t her first kiss then I might not be the male to take her virginity. The thought of her being with another male upsets me, but if that’s the case then there’s nothing I could do to change that. I’m terrified of doing something wrong, of disappointing her. Sex is a very intimate experience that requires a lot of trust and if she gave me her trust just for me to fuck it up, I would never forgive myself.

That’s why anytime our kisses deepen or our touches get more sensual, I stop. I have to physically restrain myself before I do anything I’ll regret. I know that she notices, but she’s too kind to say anything, so we don’t. I need to grow up and ask for help.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” My uncle Cassian playfully whacks the back of my head to get my attention.

“Nothing.” I sigh.

“Uh-oh…. That doesn’t sound like nothing.” He plops down on the couch next to me.

“Is this about Y/N?” Uncle Az asks as he sits down on my other side. When I give him a shocked look he clarifies. “I know you guys haven’t accepted the bond yet. I just figured that’s what you were think about.”

Uncle Cass gasps. “You haven’t accepted it yet?” I shake my head.

“I want to. I really want to. But I’m scared.” I admit. I look up to see both of my uncles have confusion written all over their faces. “I’ve um- I’ve never..”

Uncle Az releases a knowing sigh. “You’re afraid that you’ll hurt her.” I nod aggressively, thankful that he didn’t make me finish my sentence. “Have you talked to her about any of this?” I look down at my hands to hide my embarrassment. “Then that’s step one. You need to talk with her. You need to talk about what you’re comfortable with. Set boundaries and limits for certain things.”

I nod in agreement. Of course I know that I need to talk to her, but then what? “What’s step two?” I ask.

“You decide what step two is after you talk to her. Step two could be to just go for it, or it could be to take it slow and have more conversations about it. It all depends.” Uncle Cassian answers. “You- You do know how it works, right?”

I glare at him. “Yes. I know how it works.”

He holds up his hands in defense. “Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure. No one’s first time is good, so don’t worry about it too much.”

That is exactly what I’m worried about. “I want it to be, though. I want it to be special. She deserves it.”

Uncle Az gives me a small smile. “It will be special, Nyx. I promise.” He stands up from the couch and begins to walk towards the door, Uncle Cassian follows.

“W-Wait!” I run up to meet them. “Can we… keep this just between us?” I ask tentatively.

“You don’t want your dad to know you’re a virgin?” Uncle Cass asks with a raised eyebrow and I shake my head. He cracks a smile, “Okay then, your secret is safe with me….. and Nesta.” He spits out the last part and quickly runs away.

Uncle Az turns to place a hand on my shoulder. “I won’t tell anyone, Nyx.” I knew he wouldn’t, I was -and still am- worried that Uncle Cass would tell everyone. “Oh, and I would start taking those tonics under your bed by the way.” He says with a wink as he walks away.

“How did you-….. Nevermind. Thanks Uncle Az!” I yell out to him, but he’s already gone. Leaving me alone to plan out the conversation I’ve been putting off.

Reader’s POV

I’m laying down in bed thinking, like I have been for the past 3 hours. Nyx has been acting weird around me lately. Every time we start to get intimate, he pulls away. We’ve never talked about it and I’m starting to think that it’s because of me. I’ve never had sex before. I’ve never even had a boyfriend before. Nyx was my first kiss and he’s going to be my first in a lot of things, but I’m a little nervous. Actually, I’m terrified. They say your first time is painful, some people actually bleed! I know Nyx would never intentionally hurt me, but it sounds like it’s inevitable.

I haven’t told Nyx that I’m a virgin, so he probably doesn’t know that I’m nervous about it. He’s probably stopping us from doing anything intimate for a completely different reason. I just hope that him second guessing our relationship has nothing to do with it.

I’m pulled away from my thoughts when someone gently knocks on the door. “Come in.” I say, sitting up as Nyx slowly steps into our room. “This is your room too Nyx, you don’t have to knock.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to barge in on you.” He says, moving to sit down next to me. He grabs onto my hand and brings it up to his mouth for a kiss. “How was your day?” He brushes hair out of my face while he waits for my response. I don’t give one. Instead, I reach up to pull his lips down to mine. It starts out sweet and soft, like always. I feel him smile into the kiss as I wrap my arms around his neck and play with the back of his hair.

I lift my leg over him to staddle his lap and his hands find their way to my hips. I lightly bite down on his lip which causes him to moan into my mouth. Nyx stiffens below me as I move to start unbuttoning his shirt. He breaks the kiss and opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but nothing comes out. I feel absolutely mortified so I climb off of him and make a break for the bathroom when he grabs my hand to stop me. “Y/N, please don’t go.”

I turn around to look at him and wipe away my newly fallen tears. “It’s okay Nyx, I understand.”

He tightens his grip on my hand when I try to turn back around. “No, it’s not like that. I promise. I- I just want to talk before we…”

I nod and move to stand between his legs. “Do you not.. want to be with me in that way?” I ask, bracing myself for his answer.

“I do. I absolutely do, Y/N. I love you so much and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’ve never…. been with anyone like that before.” He looks up at me from under his lashes to see my reaction. My mouth hangs open as I try to comprehend what he said.

“Yo-You’ve never….” He shakes his head and I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Knowing that this will be both of our first time is so comforting to me I can’t even describe it. “Me neither.” I say with a smile.

Nyx blinks up at me, shocked. “You’ve never?” I repeat his head shake from earlier and then he repeats my breath release. “Oh, thank the Mother.” He laughs out and leans his head forward to rest on my chest. I cradle the back of his head while pressing a kiss into his hair. We stay like that for a while, just embracing each other, and then Nyx pulls back. “Do you still want to? I’m sorry I ruined the mood.”

I stare down at him, deciding to tell him the truth. “I’m scared.” He grabs both of my hands and runs his thumbs over my knuckles.

“We will go slow. I promise to be gentle, but the second something doesn’t feel right or you just want to stop, tell me. We will stop immediately, no questions asked.” He presses a kiss to both of my hands. “We’re in this together, my love.”

I lean down to press his lips to mine, then it’s my turn to moan into his mouth as he pulls me back down onto his lap. We’re back in the same position we were previously, but the feeling is different. This time Nyx isn’t stiff underneath me or restraining himself. This time his hands are roaming anywhere they can reach on my body as mine do the same.

I pull away for air, but my lips don’t want to stop. They move over to his jaw, down his neck and then over to the other side and back up. All while Nyx blesses my ears with his soft moans. I hadn’t noticed before, but his bulge beneath me has become very obvious. I begin to rock my hips back and forth, trying to create some type of friction. Nyx removes his hands from my body and I begin to panic until I realize what they are doing instead. Starting with the top, they begin to unbutton his shirt.

I place my hands over his and he looks up at me confused. “Let me.” I smirk at him as my hands fly to his hair and I kiss down his neck once again, but I keep going lower. I take my time around the base of his neck, making sure not to miss a spot. Nyx starts to lean backwards on the bed which grants me more access to his chest. My lips move down to his collarbone and I have to tear my hands away from his hair in order to undo the first button on his shirt. I slowly move down his body leaving a trail of kisses. When I get to the last button, I look up to find Nyx watching me intently. I smile at him as I make my way back up his chest and place my lips on his again.

He sits us up without breaking our kiss and removes his shirt. My hands run along his chest, over his shoulders, down his back, anywhere they can reach. Nyx tugs at the bottom my shirt and begins to pull it up over my head. Once it’s off, he gently flips us over so he’s laying on top of me. I try to pull him back down to kiss me, but he doesn’t budge. He stares down at me and moves a strand of hair behind my ear.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispers, continuing to brush my hair away. We stare at eachother for a moment, trying to catch our breaths, until his hand reaches around my back to unclasp my bra. He pauses to look at me for permission. I nod. He flings my bra onto the floor to join the growing pile of our clothes.

Nyx kisses behind my ear, my jaw, down my neck and then he closes his mouth around my breast. I press up into him when his tongue flicks my nipple. He uses one hand to stabilize himself and the other begins to move towards my pants. I feel my underwear becoming wet, which isn’t a new feeling, being with Nyx has left me wet plenty of times, but it’s never been this intense before. His mouth releases my breast and he leaves a trail of kisses down my stomach then stops right below my belly button.

Nyx positions himself between my legs and looks up at me as he begins to undo my pants. I lift my hips up so he can tug them off. Just as I suspected, my underwear are completely soaked. Nyx obviously sees my drenched panties, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he slowly -torturously- removes them too, leaving me completely bare before him. He’s eye level with my pussy now. I feel so exposed, almost embarrassed, until he places a kiss on the inside of my thigh. I meet his eyes as he kisses closer and closer to my pussy. When he finally presses his lips gently to my center, I squirm from the sensation.

I lay back down, but my eyes stay locked with his. Nyx reaches a hand up to lace his fingers with mine. This already intimate position immediately intensifies just by us holding hands. He squeezes my hand gently as he continues to press kisses into me.

His mouth covers my pussy completely, his tongue moving around as if he’s trying to memorize every inch of me. I try my best not to squirm, but the sensation is too fucking good. My unoccupied hand grabs onto his hair and I start to grind down on his mouth. My moans are escaping my mouth with no warning. No doubt everyone in this house can hear me, but I don’t fucking care. All I can think about is Nyx. How his tongue is pumping in and out of me, how his hand is still tightly interlocked with mine.

Without warning his other hand meets his mouth and he slides one finger into me. My back arches up at the sensation and I release my grip on his hair to grab the sheets next me. His tongue moves up to work on my clit and another finger joins the first. “Don’t stop! Oh my God, don’t stop!” I scream out and Nyx picks up his pace. His fingers find the magical spot that makes my body go numb.

I have no control over my body. My legs are violently shaking, my mouth is making noises I’ve never made before and my eyes are rolling back as Nyx pushes me over the edge. He draws out my orgasm, leading me through wave after wave of pleasure. After what feels like forever, but also nowhere near enough time, Nyx slides his fingers out of me and places a kiss on each of my thighs.

I finally open my eyes just in time to see Nyx place his fingers -drenched in me- into his mouth and moan at the taste. I watch him lick his fingers clean while his eyes never leave mine. Only when he sits back do I see that his bulge is practically begging me to help it, to set it free.

I try to sit up, but everything hurts in the best way so I stay where I am and watch Nyx. He’s looking at me with a look filled with love that I’m sure I match. He gives my hand a squeeze and then let’s go to unbuckle his belt. He stands up to shimmy off his pants and underwear, leaving him as bare as I am. His body is breathtaking. I want to memorize every inch of him. My eyes leave his to move down chest, over his torso and then his dick. I knew Nyx was gonna be big, his wings are fucking huge, but I’m actually concerned at his size. It might not fit.

Nyx pulls me out of my thoughts by rubbing his thumb along my cheek. My hand flies up to rest over his. “Y/N, look at me.” I do. “I’m gonna be here the whole time. It’s going to be okay. I promise.” He kisses me softly and I smile at the taste of myself on his lips. I nod at his words, but the thoughts don’t leave immediately.

“We‘ll go slow, okay?” I nod again and pull his hand off my cheek to lace our fingers together once more. Nyx climbs over me and lines himself up at my entrance. He drags himself through my folds, coating himself in my wetness. I take in a deep breath and prepare for him to push into me. We both moan at the feeling of finally connecting. My eyes never leave his as his tip slowly enters me. The pressure is almost too much to handle and the pain is noticeable, but bearable.

“Dear God, Y/N.” Nyx moans into my ear. “You feel so fucking good.” I kiss him as my response since I can’t really form words right now. He slowly sinks into me inch by glorious inch. When he finally bottoms out, I moan so loud I hear it echo off the walls. I lean my head up to see where we connect. We look fucking perfect. Like a painting that I’d want to look at for hours.

I rest my head back on the pillow and meet Nyx’s eyes again. “Can I move?” He asks, giving my hand a squeeze. I nod and he kisses me as he starts to slowly move. Agonizingly slow, he pulls back out of me almost all of the way and then pushes back in. The pain doesn’t necessarily go away, but the majority of it is replaced with pleasure. Nyx rests his forehead on mine as his pace quickens and our heavy breathing synchronizes.

Every time Nyx thrusts, I feel my muscles constricting which just makes everything feel so much better. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m close.” Nyx moans, giving my hand a squeeze.

“Me too.” I manage to whisper back.

“Together?” He presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Together.” I moan out as Nyx picks up his pace and his hand snakes down to rub my clit. That was what pushed me over the edge for a second time. I feel him follow immediately after me. Everything begins to blur but Nyx and I. All I can see is him. All I can feel is him. All I can hear is him. And I don’t want it to end. We ride our highs together, drawing this out as long as we can.

Nyx collapses down on top of me and I cradle the back of his head. I press kisses onto his shoulder as we try to catch our breaths.

After a moment, Nyx rises on his arms to look at me. “Is it okay if I pull out?” I wipe some of the sweat off of his forehead before I nod. We both look down to where we are connected and I hold my breath as he pulls out of me. It hurts a little when he does, but nothing I can’t handle. When he’s finally all the way out I release a sigh.

No blood.

Nyx sits up beside me and pulls me into his lap. He wraps his arms around me and lightly strokes up and down my back. “I love you so much, Nyx.” I say when I can actually speak. My legs are still shaking and my breathing hasn’t fully calmed down yet, but I feel amazing.

“I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” I look up to meet his gaze and he gently wipes away my stray tears. He lifts me up and carries me into the bathroom. “Wait here.” Nyx says as he sets me down on the counter. He goes to the linen closet, grabs a rag then heads over to the sink. “Do you have to pee?” He says while getting the rag wet.

I look over at him confused. “What?”

“I read that it’s not a bad idea to pee after sex. I guess it flushes out any bad bacteria in your system.” He scratches the back of his head nervously. I never thought about it before, but it makes total sense.

“I’ll try.” I say, preparing to stand up, but Nyx comes over and picks me up before I can. “I can walk, you know.” I laugh.

“I know, I just don’t want you to have to.” He kisses my forehead as he sets me down on the toilet and leaves to give me some privacy. I finish quickly and hobble over to the sink to wash my hands. When I turn the water off I see Nyx come up behind me in the mirror holding a fluffy robe. “Feeling okay?” I turn to face him while he helps me put the robe on.

“Yeah. Better than okay, actually.” I throw my arms around his neck to pull him down into a quick kiss. Nyx bends down to pick me up again and walks back to the bedroom.

When he sets me down on the bed, I crawl under the sheets and watch him walk over to the other side to join me. As soon as we are both under the covers, I snuggle into his side. “I can’t believe we waited 6 months for us to do that. Think of all the mind blowing sex we could have been having.” I joke after a moment of silence. Nyx laughs so hard that our bodies shake.

“Yeah, that’s true…” His tone becomes serious. “We will have lifetimes together, there is no race for us. I would have waited centuries for this moment.”

“Me too.” I have so many things I want to say to him, but he’s right, we will have lifetimes together. There will be other perfect moments like this one. So, I move closer to my mate's side as my eyes become droopy.

“Nyx…”

“Yes, my love?”

“I don’t think I can go to training tomorrow morning….”

He laughs quietly. “Then I guess we will just have to stay here.”

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #nyx #nyx x reader #azriel #feyre #cassian #nesta #mor #rhys #acofas #acowar #acosf #acomaf #nyx archeron #rhysand #sarah j maas #acotar smut

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throneofsapphics · 9 months

Note

crack headcanon for feysand, reader is friends with nyx and she meets feysand for the first time. she blushes instantly and they notice and think it’s hilarious. Reader drags nyx out later and whispers ” omg your parents are so hot, like ur mom is such a milf and your dad is such s dilf ” nyx is like ” ew that’s my parents ” the whole inner circle hears and laughs😩😭💀

nosy parents

(part two) (part three)

Summary: The Inner Circle overhears a conversation between Nyx and a friend

Warnings: none, not proofread

A/N: I LOVED this! lmao crack drabbles are my guilty pleasure, (sorry it ended up being more of a drabble than head cannons!)

Nyx, your best friend, decided it was finally time for you to meet his parents. You were hesitant at first, in fact you resisted it for as long as possible. Mother above, his parents are the High Lord and Lady of the night court. The fact that you’re somehow friends with him in the first place is still ridiculous, but his insistent badgering finally made you cave.

He told you to dress casual, and you made him come over to your apartment before and check that your idea of ‘casual’ was actually correct. He gave his approval, one thing you always appreciated about him is his unflinching honesty.

The dinner went well, you smiled and laughed throughout it and they had a way of making you feel comfortable. What Nyx didn’t tell you, is that the entire inner circle would be there. He slipped into your mind halfway through “what do you think?”

“I think you ‘conveniently’ forgot to tell me the entire inner circle would be here.”

“They’re all my family.”

You couldn’t argue with that.

Still both of you managed to escape outside, to one of the balconies, afterwards.

You were teasing him, nudging him in the side. “You didn’t tell me your parents are so hot,” and grinned.

“That’s gross,” he groaned, seeing him blush and get flustered was well worth it … for a few seconds, until the entire room behind you burst out into laughter. It was your turn for your entire face to turn beet red as you found them gathering behind you.

“It’s not my fault they’re nosy,” he hedged, “they probably wanted to see if were actually just friends.”

You audibly groaned, clutching your face in your hands. You'd never live this down.

#next gen acotar #feysand #feyre archeron x rhysand #feyre x rhys #nyx archeron #acotar drabble #acotar crack fic #acotar imagine

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acourtofmishapandmistakes · 10 days

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Have some Nyx and Rhysand for your Tuesday evening

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animezinglife · 19 days

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Fluffy Post-Nyx Feysand Headcanons

Rhys planning a beautiful, romantic date night for Feyre as soon as she feels more comfortable being away from Nyx.

Rhys holding her close when she starts to fuss and murmuring the reminder that Nyx is safe with their family.

Feyre feeling progressively more beautiful and sexy again as the night goes on.

Feyre enjoying their quiet, romantic dinner and wine together by the river.

Feyre falling in love with him all over again while they're dancing or holding each other during a walk afterwards.

Rhys not believing how beautiful she is and making sure she knows it.

Feyre relaxing enough when their family confirms Nyx is sound asleep that she and Rhys decide to stay out a bit later.

Feyre's heart feeling warm and full of love for them all.

#feysand #feyre archeron #rhysand #feyre x rhys #rhys x feyre #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #nyx #feysand headcanons #acotar headcanons

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utterlyotterlyx · 2 months

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Another Love - Intermission

Eris x Fem!Reader

Summary - Based on the thirteen month gap in Another Love - Alternate Ending, where you become an emissary to the Night Court to avoid Azriel, only to find the one you'd been waiting for your entire life.

Warnings - sadness, angst, fluff, smutty smut smut,

Another Love - Another Love - Alternate Ending

You were sure that you'd take any opportunity to spend as little time in Velaris as possible after what you had found out about Azriel.

After what he had knowingly and willingly done.

No one had fought you when you had asked for a different position in Rhys' and Feyre's court, to your surprise, they had backed you all the way and didn't push back. They knew you'd make a perfect emissary, all of the High Lords knew of you, even if they hadn't officially met you, and were more than happy to welcome you into their homes and share their culture with you.

It helped you immensely to allow your mind delve into anything else other than the grief that came from his betrayal, that sickening betrayal that made you loathe the last 500 years of your life.

Feyre, Mor and Nesta had done all they could to get you out of your shell, they had tried taking you to the markets and out to dinner, but it always ended in the same altercation, with Azriel appearing from the shadows begging to speak to you and they knew you were doing you best to look unphased but they knew deep down that it was peeling your soul apart.

It was hard to see you confine yourself to your home, confining yourself within those four walls and refusing to leave unless it was absolutely necessary for you to do so. The risk of seeing him around the city was something you didn't want to live with.

Rhys had visited often, bringing you new things for your home that added more character to it, from vases and kitchen equipment, to entire rooms that he and Cassian had taken upon themselves to build in a day. If you weren't going to leave your home then the least they could do was make sure you loved the four walls in which you had made into your santcuary.

But you missed the sun on your skin, you missed the breeze in your hair, and so you asked Rhys, no, begged him to send you somewhere where you could breathe again. Where you could begin to mend your broken heart.

It took him a couple days but he had done it, he had contacted Helion and asked him to house you for a couple of weeks, to teach you their ways and to allow you to read as many books as your wonderous mind could consume. And you had left that day, to rarely ever return.

Helion took a liking to you almost immediately, enjoying your scent of sweet lavender that soaked the halls of his palace like art on the walls, lingering there in the forefront of his consciousness. The High Lord examined you to be a soft soul, one full of desire for a better world, but a sassy little thing too.

He wondered why no one had ever really met you, but you had always been left behind to care for Velaris, you were strong enough to hold the lines if anything were to happen, and you weren't overly fond of inserting yourself in the politics of the continent. Velaris used to be the haven that you never really wanted to leave the comfort of.

Until Azriel.

Helion had intercepted the countless letters that had began to arrive once you had decided to extend your stay, the healthy glow of your skin and the serene specks in your eyes being enough to accept your wish. It was clear that the healing had begun, you had arrived in the Day Court a shell, an empty vessel of hurt and desperation; Helion had always thought that the sun had healing properties, though he was convinced of it when he saw how it had transformed you.

He had found a friend in you, an even more than that, a friend he didn't want to bed. Helion just liked being around you, you were intelligent and strong, your ideas of how the world should be inspired him. It wasn't often that someone like you was gifted existence, and he cursed Velaris for holding your mind hostage for all of that time.

Thesan had taken you in next after your short stop in Velaris, you had only gone to spend a couple of nights with your friends, with the Inner Circle bar Elain and Lucien. You weren't ready for that.

The Dawn Court had to be one of the most spectacular places you had ever seen, white marble pillars and a sky that always resembled the faint pink hue of Dawn's break. The air was fresh and crisp, and rolling hills ran for miles from the balcony of the quarters that Thesan had so kindly given you.

Thesan had been briefed by Rhys of your state, of your heartbreak and desire to see the world and make a difference in the other courts of Prythian. The High Lord of Dawn took pity on you, but saw a light in you that still lingered despite the awful treatment that you had been subjected to; he decided to hone it. Not many were invited to work with the Dawn Court healers, but Thesan had extended the gift to you and you had accepted immediately, with bright hopeful eyes and smile and warm as the ocean shores of summer.

He had watched you burst from your shell, he had watched you ask meaningful questions and study your days away on the ways of their talents, all whilst admiring that flickering flame dancing in your eyes. Thesan had also intercepted the letters from Azriel, by hint of Helion, you didn't need to read the words that would bring you more harm than good, perhaps you did have a right to see them, and perhaps one day he would give them to you, but not a moment before you were healed and happy and could read his words with a new purpose.

Thesan had spent many evenings with you on your balcony talking about the universe and how to better the lives of everyone, he had learnt about your passion for helping others, you had told him of the charities you had worked to hard to launch to reduce poverty and increase the levels of education across the Night Court. It was something you wanted to reach every corner of Prythian, you believed that everyone deserved a fair and honest chance to be the best version of themselves possible.

So, he had agreed to roll out your initiative across his court, to help his own people to better their lives through rich knowledge and you had hugged him tightly, and he realised then that you were special, that you were too pure to harm, and he couldn't understand why anyone would ever want to. He couldn't understand how anyone could ever harm you.

It had been one of the warmer days in Dawn, and you found yourself stood in your chambers with ladies flocking around you, tugging an ornate garment up your figure and muttering with approval. Thesan was taking you to the Autumn Court, Eris, the new High Lord, had invited Thesan to visit with his court to continue the celebrations of his victory after overthrowing his father. It just so happened that as an emissary on a visit to Dawn, you were considered a part of the court despite Thesan's insistence that you be on his arm.

You had told Thesan that his kindness was too much, that you surely didn't need such opulence, the room he had given you was adorned with floor to ceiling windows, with one stunning stained glass pane in the centre crevasse, the walls were white with pillars of gold, and breath-taking artwork had been etched into the ceiling in a variety of pinks and pale oranges, it felt like a holy temple of sorts.

The dress that you had been bestowed had to be the most perfect thing you had ever seen, sheer layers of pale pink and blue, it wrapped around your figure and accentuated every single curve of your body, especially your cleavage; the dress possessed a thin gold belt and matching embellishments on the bodice, finished with a gold halo that had been worked into the loose curls of your hair.

The Day Court tan still lingered on your skin, and the wonders of Dawn had softened your features, you would have been unrecognisable to your family if they had entered the room at that moment, and you were thrilled to know that fact, it meant that whatever you were doing was working.

Thesan had hummed with warm delight when you had stepped onto the stone platform to the back of his home, Dawn suited you for more than him it seemed, he stood in a matching pale blue tunic with golden threads woven into the fabric and offered an arm to you, squeezing your hand before he winnowed you to the hearth of the Forest House.

Music had drifted outside, a breeze of fleeting warmth and laughter soon followed. You had looked about the space and gasped at the beauty, the home was surrounded by lush forest life, of leaves in a million different hues and fireflies that hovered just above the surface of the lakes and ponds that wound around the gardens, their humming glow reflecting off of the mirror beneath them. Swans swam by you, craning their necks to keep their eyes on you for a moment longer, besotted by you.

It was strange to be stood in Autumn after all of the conflicted tales you had heard from your family of its inhabitants and leaders, but as you walked through the halls and toward the noise, you'd never disagreed with anything more in your entire life.

Eris was tired.

It had been weeks of non-stop celebration, and all he wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep. Each day had been full of meeting his new advisors, of performing the duties required of him, and each night had been another celebration, another visit from a differing court to acknowledge his title.

He sat slumped in his throne, two hounds sat to attention either side of him and his leg was thrown up of the ball of the arm, nearly slipping off more times than he could count on account of his weariness.

It was the last night of his celebrations, and he had saved the softest visit for last. Thesan never really cared for such things, he was wise and polite, and would engage in whatever conversation was needed of him, Eris was thankful that he had asked the lowest maintenance High Lord to visit last. It would mean an early night at least.

Thesan's arrival had been announced, he had glided through the dark oak doors with a woman on his arm and Eris had found his gaze floating to her with his mouth slightly agape.

The woman before him was the most serene thing he had ever seen, soft pools of colour that he couldn't quite name drifted up the widen aisle and met his own and he inhaled sharply. The dancing lanterns bent toward you and he found himself straightening his posture in his seat, his crown of golden leaves dipping to his brow. The dress she wore complimented her perfectly, layers of pale pink and blue clashing in a symphonic cascade, the gold halo on the back of her head making him truly think he had stepped into the realms of heaven. The sun pecked skin, the sultry calm eyes, her oh so kissable lips and the way she moved about with such elegance and grace.

Thesan wore her proudly on his arm, but not the pride of a lover who clearly had the most incredible creature in the room to call his own, but the pride of a friend, of a confidant.

Light curled around her, and every head turned to peer at the angel before their eyes, murmuring of her beauty and asking one another who she was and where she had came from.

The High Lord of Dawn stopped just before the dais and dipped into a bow, one that she mirrored with her own low curtsey before they both rose to their feet.

Golden light shrouded his vision and he felt every nerve and cell burn to touch her, invisible tendrils of shining thread extended from his chest and licked at her fingers, and he felt gravity shift from beneath him, as if every axis now led him to her like a compass pointing forever north. Eris was too infatuated to hear Thesan's congratulations, the muffled voice of the Lord only becoming clear when he had began to introduce her.

"This is Y/N, an emissary of the Night Court, she is currently residing in Dawn and I thought it be wise to bring her."

Eris knew who you were, he had heard many things of your power and grace, of your sass and determination, all from the lips of Cassian and Azriel who quipped to one another countless times in his presence how you wouldn't like a certain thing either of them did once the news would reach you.

You were the only one of them that had intrigued him enough to want to meet you, but he had never been given the opportunity to do so.

"Y/N," your name fell from his lips and it felt like the only right thing he could ever say, he hadn't taken his whisky amber eyes off of you, and you hadn't taken your eyes off of him either, more in astonishment than anything else, "Welcome, please make yourself at home," because it will be your home, he watched your chest rise and fall in equal breaths, too consumed with your scent of lavender and chamomile with notes of rich honey to notice his hounds approaching you.

Most beings were terrified of his hounds, of him, and all he did was watch you in surprise as you knelt down and placed your fingers between their ears, scratching that spot he knew they loved all too well with a grin pulling at your lips. The hounds rolled onto their backs and you patted their stomachs softly, giggling at their tongues as they flopped out the sides of their mouths.

"Thank you for your hospitality, your home is wonderful."

"I'm glad you think so," you looked up to meet his warm gaze and felt the bumps rise on your arms, but you didn't hide away from him, "You should see the gardens, they're truly a spectacle."

"I'd be honoured, High Lord."

"Eris," he told you curtly but not at all with aggression, "Call me Eris."

A hum sounded from your chest and you rose to your feet, "Right," you smoothed down the skirt of your dress, "Eris."

"You reek of Summer," Eris had been leaning against the doorframe of Fir Manor, waiting for you to winnow onto his lawn, and you were on time, as always.

Flipping him off, Eris tilted his head back and roared with laughter as you sauntered around him and into the home that he had placed you in whenever you deigned him worthy enough to visit, whisps of sea salt and sand filled his lungs and he shuddered at the scent, it certainly complimented you well.

Three months had passed since he had first met you, and he had to conjure up every excuse possible to get you to return to Autumn and stay in his private residence. Eris was aware that you had no idea that you were his mate, but he didn't mind, the ignorance to the bond had allowed you to let him into your soul in ways that no one else could, not even Azriel.

Eris knew of what Azriel had done to you, you had confided in him one night after one of Azriel's letters had made it to you and he found you crying in your room. Eris had burnt the damn thing into ash and watched it float away in the Autumn breeze without even a pang of guilt.

Autumn had begun to feel more like home than Velaris had, you had chosen to return to Fir Manor over your own home in the City of Starlight more times than not. Eris had lost count of how many times he had found you wandering through the labyrinth of hedges with his hounds, with one of Helion's books from the Day Court library curled between your fingers.

For the first time in what felt like his entire life, Eris felt at home, he felt at peace, and even just knowing that you were somewhere in Autumn, whether that be the gardens of his home or somewhere in town, brought him untold serenity. It was no secret that Autumn people had been the worst looked after, Beron didn't care much for them and Eris had confided in you that he wanted to make a difference, that he wanted the perception of Autumn to be one of rich knowledge and peace. It was something that he knew you worked hard to bring to Dawn, and he wanted it in his court after hearing the stories of how you had the capability of transforming lives, not like he doubted it for one moment.

Eris had given you everything you had needed to advance the education of his people, from funds to time to gather the perfect materials to give to the teachers you had sourced. You had spent hours alone with each one, teaching them what you knew with the help of Helion's personal books which he had graciously allowed you to borrow, knowing of your desire to make the world a brighter place.

"How is Tarquin?" Eris had asked you once he had closed the door behind your entrance, entering the living room where had a fire roaring and tea awaiting you.

Sighing, you flopped down onto the sofa, the plush pillows of rich red velvet wrapping around you, you looked tired, it had been a chaotic couple of weeks for you, spending time with Helion and his inventors, checking in at the schools you had erected in Dawn, and doing your best to fix the damage dealt by the unfortunate happenings in Summer when Feyre and Rhys had last visited, all whilst dedicating your time to bettering Autumn with Eris by your side.

"He's fine," you waved him off, your eyes had drifted closed and Eris cocked his head at you, noting the tiredness laced in your skin and the tight shoes still on your feet. You hated summer fashion, the too loose clothing and tight pumps that made your feet blister.

Eris moved to you and perched on the edge of the dark oaken coffee table, taking your feet in his lap and removing your shoes to find throbbing red blisters screaming up at him, warmth spread to his fingertips as he worked his digits into your skin, soothing the anger than lay beneath and smirking at your soft moans, "You need to rest."

"Can't," you mumbled back to him, he knew his touch massaging into the balls of your feet were sending you to sleep, "Too much to do," your words were quiet and your eyelids had flitted open to gaze at him.

Eris had determined then that you were so tired that you didn't realise how dark the skies were beyond the windows, that you didn't hear the faint chirp of the crickets who sang to fill the void that was night, "Come on," he scooped you up into his arms and smiled when you didn't protest to his touch, you never had but every time you allowed him a little bit closer to you, it made his day.

The High Lord sat down and positioned you on his lap, your back was nestled into the cushions at the corner of the piece of furniture and his arm was draped around you, his hand working circles into your scalp and you sighed with content, nuzzling into his chest and focusing on the sound of his voice as he read to you, his voice and the soft crackling of the fire that cooed you into slumber.

It had become a thing, Eris reading you to sleep like a child, and then you would awake in your bed and feel that empty space beside you, you'd frown at it, but then you'd remember that Eris was the male who would read you to sleep and tuck you into bed after warming your sheets with his heavenly fire to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

You could never admit it to him for fear of rejection, but Eris had slowly been putting you back together, piece by piece hour by hour, and you weren't sure if he even knew it, but you were eternally thankful to the male who put you before all else.

It had been months and months of heart to hearts, of you telling him of your deepest fears and you broken heart, and him telling you that he was scared that he would never be enough to pull his court out of his fathers tyrannical shadow. You had both cried to one another, and you had both put the other back together.

It hand been months of late night garden strolls and morning visits to the bakery he had introduced you to, he had allowed you into advisory meetings, you truly cared about his court and there was no one he trusted more than you.

You wouldn't be healed without him, you wouldn't be ready to really leave Azriel behind if it wasn't for Eris telling you how worthy you were of the life you so desperately desired.

You had to thank him, show him how grateful you were.

You knew that day had been particularly hard for him, you could feel it in your bones, you could feel his exhaustion soaring through the skies and settle in your body.

That afternoon had been spent slaving away in the kitchen, the same one he had always insisted that he cook in despite your attempts to convince him otherwise. The table was full of candles and a freshly cracked open bottle of red wine from his favourite section in the cellar, you had dressed in a deep brown dress that hung from your shoulders and swept along the floor, and had everything plated by the time he walked through the door, shushing the excitement of his hounds that jumped up against his midriff.

Eris was exhausted like you knew he was, he didn't really acknowledge what you had done, assuming that you had just ordered one of the chefs at the Forest House to drop off dinner for you both since he had made it clear that you shouldn't cook to which you had always quipped that you were actually quite the chef if he'd just trust you.

"This smells so good," his hand grazed against your hip as you moved to take the seat opposite him.

The room smelt divine, of honey and ripe jammy figs, of salted butter and fresh vegetables. It had him salivating. Without another word he dug into his meal, driving his fork into the mound of roasted vegetables and honey cured meats and passing it through his lips. Eris gasped, dropping the utensil that went clattering against the table cloth and you frowned at him as his eyes went wild, as the shade of whisky darkened into molten desire, "Did you make this?" Eris spoke through chews before swallowing harshly.

"Yes, you've had a long day. I knew you'd be tired and I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. I just thought it would be nice," you had curled into yourself, feeling stupid for thinking that you would ever be appreciated, and Eris felt that embarrassment flow down the bond that you had unknowingly ignited.

"Y/N, no, I love it, it's so sweet of you. I just," he felt his soul roll in the delight of the accidental acceptance and he looked over at you, you were frowning in confusion at him.

Eris didn't want you to find out until you were ready, until the bond had snapped for you too, but you had unknowingly accepted it and he couldn't stop the lust from consuming him. His eyes roamed over you, over your perfectly lit face from the candlelight, over your collarbones and shoulders, over the mounds of your chest and the faint peak of your nipples that poked against the fabric.

"Eris? What's wrong?"

"I didn't want you to find out like this," you furrowed your brow deeper, folding your napkin in your lap as you waited for him to continue. Eris was struggling to form words, he was picturing your dress lying in shreds on the floor and your whimpers of extraordinary pleasure, he clenched his thighs together, trying to ignore his growth between his legs for long enough to give you the answer you needed, "We're mates, Y/N."

The penny had dropped and your gaze snapped to the table, to the plates of food, and then to him, "Mates? But I, I had no idea. Eris, gods, I'm so sorry," you had rose to your feet, not knowing where to go next or what to do as you realised that you had accepted the bond.

Then it all made sense, how you knew what he was feeling without truly feeling it, how his touch always soothed you and how his words brought peace to your screaming mind. Autumn had felt like home from the moment you had landed on that lawn all those months ago, and now you knew why, because it was your home.

Eris hadn't wanted to tell you, and when you thought of it, you couldn't remember a time he had spoken to you about a female, or heard a whisper about him bedding anyone. Eris was always at your side whenever you or he commanded it, he was always reluctant to leave you in the mornings, and you were the first stop every evening when you were in Autumn. It was you. Eris was waiting for you.

All of that realisation surged to the centre of your essence, and Eris could have sworn that you had began to glow before his eyes. Eris watched you as you closed your eyes and inhaled sharply as you hand snapped to your chest and closed over your heart.

Eris stood, he reached for you and took your elbows in his hands, his scent had always intoxicated you, but now it wove into the crevasses of your own, moulding with everything that you were and wanted to be.

Without a word, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his, moaning against them softly as his fingers found themselves wound within your hair. Eris let out a guttural groan and pushed you backward until the backs of your legs hit the table ledge.

"It was you, I knew from the moment I saw you," Eris rasped between kisses, lifting you onto the table with ease and crashing the candlesticks and plates to the floor, marring the centrepiece of fresh petals into a river on the surface of the tablecloth, "I couldn't even think about wanting anyone else, there's no one I want more than you, Y/N. Nothing I need more than you."

Eris' fingers dipped into the straps of your dress, hooking them around his digits and tugging the garment down your arms, he pressed his clothed chest to your front and kissed you deeply, cupping your face in his hands whilst you unbuttoned his cream shirt, running your hands down the taut muscle of his chest.

"I have spent every day of the last six months loving you, falling more in love with you each day. I cannot breathe when you are not near. I cannot think straight when you aren't by my side. I cannot live without you for another second. If it's not you then it's not anyone."

The words you had always longed to hear fell from his lips and you leaned into him life he was the support holding your life in its grasp. His red hair fell over his face onto your forehead and his amber orbs pierced the shield you had allowed him to shatter, you didn't ever need to protect yourself around him, he saw you for everything you were and never dared to judge you.

"I was broken when I found you, I was trying so hard to put myself back together on my own. But my pride didn't stand a chance when it met you, you broke down every wall and insecurity, you made me feel cherished and valued, you brought me back to life and healed my broken soul with every sentence you read to me and every touch. I never thought I was allowed to be happy until you, I thought that having you as my friend was better than not having you at all. Every tear I have shed you have wiped away, every admission you have allowed me to hear I have basked in the embers of your trust. I accept you, Eris, I'm yours."

A soft whimper fell from his lips and then he was on you again, clawing your dress from your body and not saying a word against you as you ripped open his shirt and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his leather pants. Eris grasped your thighs and lifted you into his arms, not once breaking your kiss as he laid you both on the ground before the fire.

"You're so perfect," he muttered against your lips, pulling away for a moment to run his hands down your body, over your breasts and hardened nipples, down your stomach and thighs, inscribing the details of your scars to the diary locked in his mind, "I'm not dreaming?"

Your unbound hair swayed against your back as you sat up, taking his face in your hands and running your fingers through his hair, "It's not a dream, Eris. I'm here and I want to be yours. Forever."

Eris lay you back onto the ground, his kiss ignited every single nerve in your body, your body and soul were screaming in yearning, screaming so loud that you were starting to feel the pain of the longing. He travelled downward, swirling his tongue around your peaked nipples and your back arched at the sensation of his lips nipping and sucking on your skin. Continuing on his path, his lips dragged down your stomach, paying special attention to your sides which he knew were extra sensitive.

Before you knew what was happening, his head was nestled between your thighs that he had pried open and purred at you to keep them wide like a good girl.

Then there was his tongue, his tongue that was warm and wet, his tongue that teased your clenching entrance before moving upward and flicking softly against your clit, he encased it in his mouth and moaned, the vibrations of him sending shockwaves flowing through your body. Arching your back against the wood and thrusting yourself deeper into his mouth, you hands fisted in his hair as his tongue worked you, his finger ghosted around your entrance and pushed inside of you and you gasped at the intrusion. Eris moaned again, sucking on that bundle of nerves that had you seeing stars as his fingers slid tantalisingly slowly in and out of you, curling upward with every insertion and caressing that rough spot deep within you.

You exploded, clenching your legs around his head and crying out when his tongue did little to relent the pace it had found on you, only slowing when your legs were shaking and body jolting through the aftermath of your orgasm.

Eris hovered over you and kissed you, allowing you to taste yourself on his lips, "Let me know which stars you prefer. The ones above you, or the ones I make you see," he pumped his cock in his hand and lined it up with you, not taking his eyes off of you as he pushed into your quivering walls, he pressed his lips to your forehead and withdrew himself from you to only fill you again moments later.

The growl that came from him was enough to send you into a frenzy, all of your sense had left you the moment he had laid you on the ground and crawled on top of you, all you wanted was him filling you up with his cum and fucking it back into you repeatedly until he surely put an heir in your belly. The thought was filthy, and you loved it.

"I love you," you whispered as Eris fucked you into oblivion, your hips were surely bruised beneath his iron grip as he slammed into you over and over again, the tip of his cock reaching places within you that you didn't even know existed.

The thrum of your fulfilled mating bond hummed around you, shrouding you in that golden ethereal shimmer. A thin layer of sweat coated you both but he didn't stop the rolling of his hips, he didn't stop kissing you or whispering to you how perfect you were, how much he had dreamt of the moment where you accepted him.

"I would have waited forever for you, you complete me, Y/N," he suckled on the skin of your neck, imprinting his love on your body, "You make me feel alive, my soul is yours. It's yours."

"Please Eris," his fingers clenched around your throat and his hips slammed into you faster, he didn't choke you, he only kissed you deep enough so that you forgot whose air you were breathing.

Eris' movements were growing sloppy, his grunts were breathless and you knew he was close as your walls clenched around him, "I'll do everything in my power to make sure life wraps around you as gently as possible, your time on this planet will be as peaceful as it can be. I will love you in this life and each one we meet in after. It's you, Y/N. It's you."

For the second time that night, you saw stars, bright all consuming starlight as your soul sang, and you definitely preferred the ones he made you see.

The sapphire on your finger glistened in the sunlight as you stood on the stone deck of the garden, smiling fondly at the memories that had stolen your attention away from the innocent laughter sounding a few metres away.

Arms wrapped around you, cradling your swelled stomach, orange and pine filled your senses and made you feel dizzy as your mate peppered kisses along your shoulder, "Do you know how much I love you?" Eris' voice was rough and deep, a purring tone laced within it as he smirked against your skin.

Relaxing into him, you hummed, "I think I might have forgotten, remind me?"

Eris chuckled against your skin and turned you to face him, being careful not to disturb the sleeping babe cradled in your stomach waiting to be welcomed into the world, "I love you in ways that you don't even realise, the way you love and care for others, the way you are attentive to every issue, the way you stayed composed through hardship, the way your soul lights up the world. The list of ways I love you is endless."

Eris had made good on his promise to take care of you, to light up your life and give you the world you deserved so much. He had made you his High Lady and you had changed the world, and he took no credit for that. That was all you.

Laughter made your head drift to the side, a love sick smile on your face as you watched Feyre and Rhys run about the garden chasing Nyx and your little red haired wonder, Aster, with Lucien in tow. Aster looked so much like him, the red hair and freckled skin, he had Eris' nose and cheeky smile, but his eyes, they belonged to you, pools of infantile joy that made you thank the Mother daily.

Nesta had cried when she had met Aster, they all had, she had cried when she had handed you Azriel's final letter. A letter that felt like a true apology, but more than that, he was telling you how happy he was for you, how he was so happy that you were finally living a life that deserved your light, that deserved every graceful touch of your soul. You knew he had cried on the parchment from the blotches wrinkled into the surface. Azriel was happy for you. Azriel finally understood that what you needed wasn't him, but someone who would see you for everything you were and treat you as an equal.

It’s two in the morning and I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes I see versions of us that could have happened if you didn’t leave. This is the last time you will hear from me. I love you, y/n. I’m sorry.

You had cried for him that night, your final mourning whilst Eris pressed kisses into your hair and you held your gift of love in your arms.

Your heart was full and bursting, Eris' hand caressed your cheek and his other rubbed gentle circles into the surface of your rounded stomach, "How's my girl?" Eris' eyes were brimming with happiness, the happiness that neither of you thought you deserved.

"She's ready to meet you," you spoke softly, allowing his love to drown you, "I realised something, about us," he pulled his gaze upward, the sound of your son laughing filling your ears and bringing a serene smile to your face, "You are my everything, you are my whole life. The bond we have is all I need and knowing you love me fills me with a peace I've never known. It makes me want to melt into you and stay there forever. I'm so glad Azriel broke me, if he hadn't then I never would have found you, and we would have never had this," Aster giggled as Lucien swept him up in his arms, "I love you, and I know that wherever we go after this world, in whatever life we end up living, I will always find my way back to you. Always."

Authors Note

Oh my heart :((

The happily ever after I needed. Ngl I teared up lol.

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