#now that her family is very well off suddenly she can finally live her dreams in the big city tm

[miss-mossball]

she's a bit of a socially anxious nerd :v

#doodle heaven #my ocs #hotaru #prince haze #i was thinking perhaps hotaru lived out of town and she always wanted to go to Herz academy in blumenstrand #her family was not well off but she heard once upon a time that going to herz made you a princess and it stuck w her #now that her family is very well off suddenly she can finally live her dreams in the big city tm #but she has crippling social anxiety and finds friends in her dolls and books bc she doesnt know how to talk to ppl!!! #idk i want her to have the Most shoujo romance plot ever just to give her a fun life #maybe she gets tangled up in the shadows too? #also her favorite books just coincidently are written by Iris and Haze but at least all of haze's writing is kept secret #(idk if iris' is)

[janovavalen]

okay i apologize if you need specific prompts because i am TERRIBLE at those but grover underwood hurt/comfort?? I ADORE YOUR WRITING BTW AND I AM ECSTATIC THAT YOU WRITE FOR GROVER 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 TY FOR DOING THIS REQUEST IF YOU DO!!!!!

a/n: hii!! n ofc omg yes i’m writing for my bby grover i don’t see enough of him so ofc IMMA BE THE ONE TO STEP UP! but nah lemme stop THANK YOUUU ILL PUBLISH THIS LITERALLY SO FAST OKAY!?

✧HERE FOR YOU || grover underwood x fem!reader

summary: one morning when y/n woke up she remembers it’s the anniversary of her father’s disappearance and grover can’t sit around and endure her pain any longer.

word count: 1242!

warnings: hurt/grief, family lose, sad reader for a bit, fluff and comfort because grover is such a a pure baby AHHH

the day had fallen to darkened as the camp was well off to sleep, the cabins shut and closed with the half blood resting behind doors.

grover himself being one of them, he slept peacefully in his the with his blanket pulled over his head to hide his body and face from the world outside of this comfortable bed. snoring a he dreamed of endless things, grover suddenly held his body being softly shaken.

opening his eyes to be met with darkness he suddenly heard—‘grover?’ the soft and slightly shaky voice mumbled. he hurried to take the blanket from up and over his head as he saw y/n, someone who had just recently been let into camp half blood and so happens to be in cabin ten, daughter of persephone.

grover learned that y/n was very quiet, reserved, always on end and very beautiful…not to be oblivious—all of the aphrodite’s children were beautiful. but y/n had a different type of beauty, one that seemed to only speak to him, only for him to cherish and understand.

sitting up in a hurry he was quick to softly grab onto y/n’s hand that was left behind on his blanket—‘y/n? what’s the matter? why are you awake so late? is everything okay?’ he rushed to asked. he found himself rushing to check her form and face for any marks and bruises and was relieved when he saw none.

she was also quick to sooth his worries—‘yes everything is okay, it’s just…i can’t sleep and i—i just wanted to talk to someone…i had a nightmare and i know it’s sounds stupid but—‘

‘no, no, never. i promise you, anything you think and say is not stupid so please don’t think of yourself like that…what is it? what’s the matter?’ he sat up and out of his bed. grover held onto y/n’s softer hand into his own. his usually tamed curls now wild from his previous sleeping state.

‘can we take a walk please?’ she looked down at his brown eyes as she found herself chewing onto her thumb nail, her rings decorating her fingers that shined in the dark room around them.

‘yes, yes of course’ grover was quick and ready to stand by her side as she gave him a soft smile, pulling him with her, he followed close behind.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as the two of them walked into the darkness of the forest that was glistening and glowing from the light of the moon that laid right above the trees, grover and y/n’s hand never left one another as they walked together.

grover would occasionally move his thumb in a soothing and general manner to hope and help further ease her once tense state that she showed back in the cabin.

grover was probably one to admit himself that he was utterly hopelessly devoted to y/n with no denial and no doubt. he found himself hooked to her the second she flashed that beautiful smile of hers and her joyful laugh that rang throughout the camp itself. nobody had a laugh like that in all of his years of living, and none of them could compare to hers.

the moon had perfectly shined down onto her figure as they walked hand in hand. her mother must have known she was out and about right now and blessed her with her presence. the moonlight perfectly shapes itself around y/n’s hair and body. the light of the moon prompting her face features he found alluring.

once they finally found a nice patch of grass to sit and rest, y/n pulled him down slowly to sit across from her as he watched her every move. she gave him a small smile and looked off to the distance where was shown an open view of the lake and rocks below.

‘so…beautiful night right?’ he mumbled trying to uplift to quiet but comfortable atmosphere.

y/n smiled and nodded—‘yes very. it may have been a sign to why i couldn’t sleep tonight.’ she quieted down once more and looked grover into his eyes.

he scooted husnelf closer to her and cleared his throat—‘so..what was it you wanted to tell me back there? i don’t mean to produce, of course! you don’t need to tell me anything i just…y’know. want to know your okay’ he tried to execute his seemingly pushy tone and attitude but she only smiled and shook her head.

‘no i know, and it’s not like that—you're not like that. but yeah uhm…i had a nightmare’ she looked down at the grass while she picked it with worry and he took this as a sign to grab her hand in comfort and hold it.

y/n gave a shaky breath and continued—‘in the nightmare…it was my dad, again. he was drowning or something and he looked like he was in pain? he looked like he couldn’t breath…and when i tried to get to him he just…vanished? i don’t know? i swam and swam to get to him. i tried and tried but i couldn’t breath. then someone came into my dream and told me to give up on things that i can’t have ... .and i just, woke up.’

she felt her eyes swell and tears grow to the brim, y/n let out another shaky breath before looking away from grover as she shook her head in denial.

‘grover what could that mean? y’know? what…what if what that thing said in my dream was tellin me nothing is for me? what if the thing is telling me that people i know and love will somehow disappear forever? what if i never find my dad? i—‘

‘hey, hey hey wait—slow down okay? breath…just breath’ he instructed y/n who was hyperventilating as quick as her words. her voice shaky and her tears dropping from her eyes. shaking her head she felt herself cry a bit more and he immediately embraced her, his arms locked around her as she held him just as tight.

‘it’s okay, it’s okay…just breath.’ he told her once more. his breath low and comforting. she did as he told and she felt her heart slow down to its original rhythm, the close proximity of the two of them gave her the ability to feel his own heart but feeling it wasn’t enough.

pushing her brody closer to his making him fall back a bit but accepting the way she moved, he saw what she was aiming for and was quick to let her press her ear and cheek against his chest. listening to his heart, she found comfort in this and locked her arms around his frame.

grover, holding her with his own arms and smiling a bit down at her.

‘it’s okay’ he said once more. y/n felt a small tear drop form her eyes as she accepted and nodded to what he said.

‘we’ll find your dad…and i’m not going anywhere. i’m here for you y/n, see?’ he placed his hand on her face and she looked up at his brown eyes that were looking down at her already. her smile became prominent.

‘i’m here’ he said once more. she leaned up and kissed his lips with a soft manner and he felt his face flush with warmth.

‘thank you grover’ she numbed to him. the soft vibrations of his body being felt against her face and chest he mumbled—‘always’

#percy pjo #percy series #percy jackson #grover underwood #grover underwood x reader

[midnightsnyx]

【mastermind】 tyler galpin - part 1

pairing: tyler galpin x fem!addams!reader

summary: when your father sends you off to nevermore academy with your cousin, you meet a certain barista and you start to unravel secrets that change the course of your life word count: 2k warnings: none yet

authors notes: so this is the first(?) part of the tyler galpin series! a quick note about the reader - she is uncle fester's daughter. big thanks to @katherinejess for editing this for me. let me know if you guys like this and want me to continue. thanks for reading! masterlist link here

When your father, Fester, decided to send you to Nevermore Academy along with your cousin Wednesday, you were absolutely furious. It wasn’t unusual for you and your cousin to get in a little trouble here and there, but Wednesday attracted trouble. She sometimes (always) went overboard so after the pool incident when her parents made the decision to ship her off to boarding school, your father thought it would be good for you to join her. 

Realistically, you should have been sent to Nevermore the first time you woke up as a black cat. It turned out, you could shapeshift into a cat which scared the shit out of you at first but of course, as an Addams, there’s nothing that makes the family more proud than being a little kooky. So, your father was beaming when he could tell anyone that you were a part time cat. 

At first, you couldn’t control it and would be doing the most basic task and suddenly, you had four legs and a tail. It was especially annoying if you were showering because there was nothing worse than being drenched in water as a cat. You’ve gotten a handle on it since then but there was an afternoon you woke up from a nap soaked in water because Pugsley got bored and decided to dump a bucket of ice cold water on you while you were sleeping in your cat form. 

He paid for it the next day. 

. . .

In Dreams by Roy Orbison is playing on the radio as the drive to Nevermore gets nearer. You try to tune out your aunt and uncle who are singing along, sickeningly in love. You’re even ignoring Wednesday, still a little angry that she is the reason you’re being sent off to boarding school. You know she’s already working up some escape plan and if it’s somewhat sane, you’ll probably go with her. 

Your aunt Morticia suddenly sighs dramatically and looks over at you and Wednesday. 

“How long do you two intend on giving everyone the cold shoulder?” She asks and Wednesday looks over her shoulder and says, “Lurch, please inform my parents that I am no longer speaking to them.” Then she looks at you and raises an eyebrow as if to say, well are you talking to me now? So you give her the smallest of nods and look over your shoulder and say, “Lurch, can you please remind my aunt and uncle that I am no longer speaking to them, nor my father.” 

Both of you just get a grunt in response. 

“You are going to love Nevermore, girls. It’s the perfect school for you two.” Your aunt says and Wednesday finally breaks her silent streak.

“Why? Because it was the perfect school for you? I have no interest of following in your footsteps.” She snaps. “Becoming captain of the fencing team, Queen of the Dark Prom, President of the Séance Society.”

You nod along, listening to her argue with her parents until the car pulls up to a castle like building. You’re mesmerized by it and the small smile on your aunt's face says she’s pleased.

You and Wednesday don’t end up roommates much to the disappointment of you both, but you meet your roommate, Yoko, and she seems chill. Besides, you might not even be staying if Wednesday comes up with a good escape plan. Yoko brings you on a tour of the campus, explaining all the “cliques” and you see Wednesday being led around by a very bright, cheerful looking girl. She’s the complete opposite of your cousin and you wonder how that living accommodation will work.  Yoko brings you to get a copy of your schedule and your uniform. You change and then go meet you aunt and uncle to say goodbye and can’t help but laugh when you see Wednesday’s custom made black uniform.

Ignoring her glare, you turn to your relatives accepting hugs from Pugsley and your uncle, watching as Wednesday reluctantly does the same. Morticia smiles at them and then looks back at you and Wednesday. “Why don’t you boys go wait in the car? The girls and I need a moment.” She says and once they are out of earshot, you watch as she takes a couple steps towards you.

“Any plans you two have of running end now. I’ve alerted all family members to alert me the minute either of you darken their doorstep.”

She’s underestimating us, you think and smile when Wednesday voices your exact thoughts.

“We will escape this educational penitentiary, and you will never hear from us again.”

Your aunt sighs but gives Wednesday a necklace and telling her something about it being used to conjure visions. You knew that your cousin has been tortured by dark visions lately even if she hasn’t admitted it. After a short conversation between them, she glances at you, smiling softly before asking Lurch for the crystal ball, saying they will call you both next Sunday. After handing it off to you, she walks away and climbs into the car.

Watching them drive away, you look at Wednesday who is staring at the pendent. “You know they’re going to send Thing to spy on us.”

She hums, turning on her heel and walking back in the school. You follow slowly, wondering what exactly she has up her sleeve.

. . .

The first time Yoko sees you in your cat form is a few hours after you and Wednesday got dropped off, and she assumes you brought a pet with you so she is unsurprisingly shocked when you turn back into a human. It doesn’t take long for her to get over the shock and you quickly realize that she is going to be a good roommate and hopefully friend.

You chat with her for a couple hours since it’s Sunday and there are no classes and you can tell there is a question she wants to ask and you have an itching feeling you know what it is.

“Go ahead.” You say, hiding a grin when she smiles sheepishly.

“Wednesday is your cousin, right?” She asks and you nod, watching as she pauses before asking the question you know is floating around campus. “Is it true she killed a kid at her last school?”

You consider lying and saying something like it was two kids but you figure Wednesday already said that and besides, you want to be friends with Yoko and friendship requires honesty.

“No, she didn’t kill anyone.” You tell her. “She just… injured someone.” You say vaguely, leaving out the fact that you think that kid totally deserved it. You’d rather not have people thinking bad about you when there is already going to be a bad reputation attached to the last name Addams.

She nods and you go back to chatting about other things before you decide to go visit Wednesday. On the way, you meet Ms. Thornhill, your ‘dorm mom’ as she explains and you immediately get a weird vibe from her but just smile politely, finishing the walk to your cousin's dorm.  You knock, and the girl you saw leading Wednesday around answers with a bright smile on her face.

“Y/N, right?” She asks and when you nod she opens the door so you can walk in. “I’m Enid.” She tells you so you smile politely again before looking at Wednesday sitting at her desk, typing away on her typewriter and you realize it’s her writing time so you plop down on her bed, taking your phone that you rarely use to kill time until she is finished. You know she likes her writing time to be quiet so you just scroll through Instagram until you hear her stop typing.

She comes over and sits next to you and quietly says, “my court ordered therapy is Tuesday. I’m thinking that could be our chance to leave.”

“Your court ordered therapy. How am I supposed to get a free ride to town?”

“Just tell Weems you’re my emotional support person or something.” She says irritability and you give her a dry look. 

“Yeah, because she’s going to believe Wednesday Addams needs an emotional support person.” You snark, ignoring her emotionless look that says more than she thinks.

You sigh, realizing that this is probably your only good chance to escape. “I’ll figure something out.”

She looks as pleased as someone who always looks like she doesn’t give a damn can, asking about your roommate. The two of you chat for about an hour before Ms. Thornhill makes her rounds, sending everyone back to their dorm room. 

You lay in bed that night, trying to figure out a way into town Tuesday. You consider asking principal Weems to go when Wednesday has to go for therapy but the next morning, Yoko tells you that it’s just about a half hour walk to town and there usually isn’t a problem to go, you just have to ask. So that’s exactly what you do Tuesday afternoon after Wednesday leaves. The walk is shorter than 30 minutes for you because you decide that being in your cat form will get you there quicker and you make it in 15 minutes. 

Yoko tells you that there is a small cafe called the Weathervane so you and Wednesday decide that is where you’ll meet up when she sneaks out of her therapy session.

You arrive earlier than her so you decide to order something. The barista looks to be around your age, brown curly hair and a charming smile. He has a name tag that reads Tyler. 

“What can I get you?” He asks and you order your favorite drink, a muffin but don’t order Wednesday’s just yet. He asks your name for the order so you give it to him. You watch him make the drink, giving him a tip when he hands it to you along with the muffin and you feel his eyes on you as you walk to a booth sitting down to wait for Wednesday. 

You wait long enough that Tyler asks if you would like a refill. When Wednesday finally shows up, you cringe when you see Weems trailing behind her looking disappointed.

“Y/N, come with us. We’re going back to campus.”

Wednesday looks annoyed and you realize that she must have gotten caught which means your chance of getting away today failed. When you stand up, Tyler appears suddenly, offering you a drink in a to-go cup and you frown because you didn’t order anything but then you catch a phone number hastily written. You look at him and he has a small smile on his face before walking back to the counter. Wednesday gives you a curious look but you ignore it, following her and principal Weems to the van. 

When you get back to your dorm, you write down Tyler’s number on a piece of scrap paper until you decide what to do with it. You go to the rest of your classes and when you finally retire for the day, you can’t stop thinking about the number written down, sitting on your desk.

Yoko notices your restlessness but you don’t feel 100% comfortable sharing the information yet so you just tell her you're homesick which isn’t a complete lie because you do miss your father a little. Not enough to forgive him, but you miss him.

Eventually, you give in and pick up your phone and the paper that’s been haunting you all day. You sit back on your bed and open a new message, typing his number in and realizing you have no idea what to say. You barely talked to the guy but he seemed interested enough to give you his number? This hasn’t happened to you before and you don’t have anyone to ask so you stop overthinking it and type a simple message, hesitating before hitting the send button.

Hey, it’s Y/N.

And now, you wait. 

#tyler galpin x reader #tyler galpin imagine #tyler galpin angst #tyler galpin x y/n #tyler galpin x you #wednesday fanfic #allies writing

[el-ly-sha-give-no-f]

Camera and Blessing

“

AUTHOR NOTE: hello, FINALLY I HAVE THE URGE AND ENERGY TO POST, I’ve been doing better now, so like I said before I've been working on father!reader imagine, so here's the first one, Wolff reader, Enjoy! let me know if anything wrong, enjoy and NO repost or COPY my work okay?! love you guys and have a great day! <3

WARNING: yelling? arguing? but flufffffffffffffffff

PAIR: Wolff!reader x Lewis Hamilton

PRONOUNCE: she/her

WORDS: idk

-----

Hi, Im y/n Viss Wolff, and yes daughter of the famous Toto Wolff, Im working with F1 as a Mercedes Photographer and my dad's Social Manager. Yeah, I’m actually not into the F1 world, I like Photography! I mean look at it! they're so peaceful. At first when I told my dad that I want to become a Photographer, he kinda doesn't like it.

I ask him why, first, it is because I need to travel and explore outside of the country, that means I have to go alone and it's dangerous then i’m gonna be away from my family, second of all, he said I need to become his Legacy, but I said that I’m not into racing, I was pissed off at that time but he still insisted.

After how many months I begged him, only God know, he finally gave up, he let me become a photographer but on two conditions, that I become Mercedes's special photographer and his social manager. I don’t care, at least I reach my dream work

The first year when I’m part of the Mercedes team, it's was the hardest year of my life, a stressful and depressing year. My dad and Susie have been helping me with a bunch of stuff, the other Social Manager helped me too and other people around the paddock give me a lot of motivation. Oh, by I mean people around the paddock including 'Lewis Hamilton'. When I met him for the first time, I was starstruck, I was so excited to meet him earlier that day, I know I said Im am not into F1 but, what did you expect when your dad talk about him almost every day, of course, I have a little crush on him.

But all of that happened 3 years ago. My feeling toward him become growing.

By that means I have been working with dad for 3 years, it's getting better now. They had my back since then and Im very happy that I live around awesome people.

Right now, I’m at Mercedes paddock , preparing my Canon camera that i bought it myself 2 years ago. I know Mercedes already prepared a camera for me but I don’t want to share it with other photographer cause I’m afraid that they’re  gonna delete my works accidently or not. 

But I don’t know what happen with my lense today, I’ve been wiping it for almost 6 minutes. I’m glad that today activities ir I can say “work” is not much. Just take some picture, handle my dad’s  interview and edit some of my pic then send it to Mercedes Social Media Handlers. That’s it. Like usual.

I heard someone footsteps walking toward me, I look up from my camera lense, It’s Lewis walking toward me, he’s wearing Mercedes official T-shirt. I saw him him smiling at me I reply with my smile back. He gives me a tight hug. His hugs is my favourite thing in this world well other than “foods”. We pull away from the hug.

“Hi Darling, how are you?” He greet me

“Hey Lewis, not much, just preparing my camera right now, as you can see on this table, It’s a mess, I don’t know why my lense suddenly became blurry when I want to used it earlier” I hand the lense to him and he take the lense from my hand and take a look with it.

“well I don’t know much about camera, I’m not a camera nerd like yo-” I smack his arm as I give him a death stare, he raise his arm surrender “I’m joking, well lady, this is your sign to buy a new lense” he suggest made me laugh.

“In your dream Lewis Hamilton, I think it’s just because I don’t wipe it properly but I’ve been wiping it for 6 minutes straight, besides, this lense is my favourite lense cause’ my dad bought it for me as my birthday present last year and I use it since then, kinda hard to replace it with other”

“oh you’re very loyal to this one eh?” Loyal not just for the lense but for our love if you want to know.

“yeah, yeah, kinda like that” I reply

-we talk for a while-

“well Lewis, I think you need to go” I said to him

“why? you want me to leave you?” what the fuck are you doing Y/n. “wait no no, not like that, you still not changing into your into your race suit yet and I know my dad not gonna be happy about it, especially 30 minutes before racing” I rumble

“ He He He, his not gonna be mad at me, besides-” he wrap his arm around my neck “I want to meet my bestfriend before the racing start”.

ouch, that hurt. “bestfriend”. Not me hoping for him to call me his lover.

Like I said my feeling for him is growing, I mean three years! who doesn’t... I’m afraid my dad gonna be mad if I date his ‘Top Driver’, my dad has been teasing about this before but I keep denied it maybe he react is a good react. Well, maybe one day Y/n.

“LEWIS! we need you right now” my thought was interrupted by someone voice calling for Lewis. I see him nodding to the staff.

“I guess, this is it, goodluck for today, and don’t worry about your camera lense, I think you just need to wipe it little bit more” he suggest

“well earlier, you said you’re not one of a camera nerdy like me, I’ve been your friend for three years! I don’t know you’re an camera expert Lewis” I joke

“whatever you said nerd” I smack his arm again, he remove his arm around my neck and looking at me, “I’ll see you after race” he said and he kiss me on the cheek, even though it’s an a quick cheek kiss but it is enough to make me blushing. I look him and see him smiling before, he turn back and walk away.

I’m standing still, blushing, God Damn that smile.

I’m so gonna tell this to Susie! I pack my stuff not worrying about my lense anymore. I put all of my stuff in my backpack and run to find Susie.

Turns out, I bumping into dad instead of Susie.

“hey you,little miss! why so rushing?” He ask me

“nothing” I reply and laugh, I’m ready to go and find Susie again, I turn around and start to walking when I feel someone hand pulling my arm and I turn around. It’s not my normal dad, instead it’s my serious dad. I sigh. This old man.

“what happened?” he ask me again.

“what do you mean what happened? nothing happened” I answer.

“I’m your dad and your shit doesn’t work for mr kid so don’t lie, I know you for the whole of my life, and we made a promise before, no secret between us , no secret between father and daughter” He remind me.

“you done?” 

he nod.

“Well” I smile and doze out while I’m thinking about what happened earlier.

I feel soft smack on my head, and I return to the present, this time it’s not only Toto but Susie too.

“ouch, what was that for” I ask, rubbing the spot where my dad smack me.

“I ask you to explain, not dozing out!”

“okay okay, but since when you’re here?” I ask Susie

“since earlier” she wiggle her eyebrow

“kay kay fine Lewis...” I see my father tense up and raise his eyebrow, “he kissed me-” I got cut off

“WHAT?!!” well here, I heard two types of “what” one is the fuss “what” and one is the excited “what”. But both of them caught everyone around us attention

“SHHHHHHHHHH” I put both of my hand on their mouth, they look around and look at me back, both of them remove my hand from their mouth, one harshly and one softly we all can guess who.

“No Y/n!” I look at Susie who already looking at Toto.

“what do you mean no?!” Susie ask his husband

“cmon his my driver”

“and?” I confuse

“if you guys together, yours relationship will distract him!” he state

“dad what? what about the tease before about me and Lewis?, when I close with Lewis, how come it’s not an issues and it’s never distract him before?” 

“that’s different you guys are friend not dating” he’s argue

“what’s the different, he still your driver, not that one day if I date him suddenly he’ll move to Haas team” I argue back

“stop it y/n! you never discuss with me before you do anything that you want to do”

“what’s the connection with this situation?! this is nonsense!”

“y/n listen-” I cut him this time

“no you listen!, I’m not a child anymore dad, if this whole problem relate with my career path to you you are insane, you always remind me before, past is past! What’s up with you changing your mind?”

“y/n when I say no, It’s a no, can you please just listen to me”

“okay you both, stop it, three of us currently at public, it will get media attention! why don’t you guys continue discuss this at home tonight?” Susie try to remind and calm us, almost forgot that Susie here with us too.

“well here the things, we’ve not even together yet but I’m glad this all happen, cause’ at least I already know how you’ll reacted, whatever you said, handle your interview yourself today” with that I walk of from Mercedes Paddock and start to take some of pics.

-[RACE START/RACE END!!!!]-

Lewis did a really great job! P1! word can’t even describe how happy I am for him, despite what happened earlier. I’ll try to ignore it.

I make my way to Lewis, I call his name and he turn around, I see him smiling and coming towards me, his smile always light my mood up,it’s just, beautiful.

he give me a tight hug and I hug him back.

“congratulation on your win Lewis, I’m so proud of you! you deserve this!” I congrats him excitedly

“thank you so much y/n, this is for you and the team, without you guys I- I don’t know what will happen” he confess

we pull away from the hug.

“y/n actually-” someone call him and he turn to look at the Mercedes staff

“Lewis we need you at the podium!” he nod and turn to look at me again.

“I need to go, duty call, see you later love” he kiss my forehead before he walk and go behind the stage.

I smile and walking to the in front of the stage, me and the team cheering when Lewis standing on the podium, and I take a couple pictures of him holding his trophy with my camera, after that I see my dad looking at me, don’t want to argue again, I look at Lewis currently soak with champagne , I smile before walking back to the paddock.

--------------- TIME SKIP!

Me,dad and Susie arrive home, I look at watch on my wrist currently showing solid 10pm. Jack probably already sleep, it’s passed his bedtime, I miss him so much, even though we don’t share the same blood, but I treat him as one. Despite my mother don’t want to take care of me, she’s long gone, gone from mine and dad’s life. I walking to go to my room tiredly.

“y/n” I heard dad calling my name softly, enough to make me tears falling from my eyes, I stop walking, and slowly turn to look at him.

I wipe my tears, before I ask him

“what?” trying to control my tone

“I leave you guys alone, I’m gonna see Jack and Kate(jack babysitter)” she said and walk out from the living room and go to Jack’s bedroom.

My dad standing in front of me and start talking again.

“first, i just want to say sorry, it’s never been my attention to hurt you or your feeling or anything at all, as your dad, I know i’m not the want who will choose your decision, your career or who you will going to date, I am so sorry y/n” 

“when I saw you and Lewis talking at the paddock earlier, I can see he’s the one for you, he’s the one that can make you happy in the future and he’s the one that can take care of you besides me” he continue

“I know my reason to why you can’t date Lewis is nonsense, like you said earlier, I’m just afraid that you will be far away from me,it’s not because it will distract Lewis no its not, I know I have Susie and Jack, but losing you is one of a thing that I’m not ready to face it yet, I realize i was wrong”

It’s makes me tears up more after I heard what came out from my father mouth, I hug him and continue crying on his shoulder, I feel he rub my back softly.

“Dad, it’s okay, you’re not going to lose me, I am your forever daughter, I’ll never gone from your life, I promise you, I will be with you forever, please remember that, and you don’t have to apologise, I also was wrong, I overreacted and I’m sorry too”

“its okay sweetheart, it was nobody fault, remember what I said, past is past” he remind me

“past is past”I mumble quietly.

“Please never leave me to handling my own interview again, it was stressful” he said and i laugh.

------------------

after that happened we never fight after that and Lewis confess his feeling for me and I told him that I feel the same, my dad already warn him, if he ever makes me cry or hurt my feeling just know what will happen to him. Yeah typical dad things.

END!

=======================================

what do you guys think is it okay? let me know, i have one more fics, daniel ricciardo x reader, prepare! hope you guys safe and healthy, and thank you for those who have been waiting for me to post a new one shot I appreciate it and I’m sorry for making you guys waiting, I love you guys.bye

-elly

#lewis hamilton imagine #fomula one #fomula one imagine #f1 one shot #f1 x reader #lewis hamilton #toto wolff #toto wolff x reader #mercedes amg f1

[goddess1111sblog]

I came across this cool success story on reddit by u/celestial-form. It is worth a read.❤️

A long success story

Here is the summary of my wonderful experience of consciously visualizing myself into a drama that later materialized.

I was 11 years old, living in Tehran, Iran, my birthplace. I was a very strange child with an abstract, sort of a metaphysical mind. I was very perceptive and questioned every area of life. One day I was observing my life and suddenly came to the conclusion that I don’t like my life. I didn’t like the country I lived in, I didn’t relate to the culture and I knew I couldn't thrive there. As I was a very imaginative child I told myself, what if I can escape this reality in my imagination?

The same night I lay down and before sleep, I decided to experience what it would be like If I lived in a different country and went to school there. As I am laying down I hold steadfast to the joy I would feel if I actually lived somewhere else. I couldn’t specify the country but i could specify the wonderful feeling of ahh, my wish has finally come true.

I resided in that feeling, and I even remember my attention wandering off into randomness but I brought it back and again held it steadfastly on the wonderful feeling of my desire being my reality. I dropped into sleep while holding the feeling and I found myself in a vivid dream (imaginal act). I was sitting in a classroom, there were black people and blonde people, and girls and boys were sitting in the same room (this doesn’t happen in Iran). I was sitting in the last row of the class on the right end of the room and I was observing my classmates. Suddenly I had an overpowering feeling that “omg, I live here, this is my classroom, this is my home.” and I had a feeling of certainty that this is a different country from my hometown. The dream was so intense and vivid that when I woke up I had to take a moment to realize that was a dream. I was so certain that I was living there with all of my being until I awoke and realized it was just a dream and I was terribly disappointed that it was all a dream, I nearly wanted to cry.

Fast-forwarding to age 12, my cousin from Germany calls to ask my Mom if she’d be interested in applying for the DV lottery program for a chance to win a U.S. green card. She said oh it must be a scam but if it’s free we will apply. So, all of us 3 members of the family applied and let it go. My mom kept saying oh this is probably fake, nothing is gonna happen. But since it was free she thought well we don’t have much to lose.

Next year comes and we get a phone call from my cousin in Germany. “I have good news and bad news,” she says what is it. K (me) has won the lottery but you can’t go with her because she’s a kid. If you had won you could take the entire family and kids under the age of 21. My mom was excited but also disappointed. She said well it’s ok, we’ll send her alone so she can finish her high school and college there.

Fast-forwarding again, a year passes and my family applies for the lottery again in hopes that they might win. And surely, my mom wins just a year after I had won. I was prepared to go to the U.S. alone, I had an interview appointment at the U.S. embassy in the UAE but we had to cancel it because now that my mom has won, she can take her 13-year-old child with her. So, exactly this happens. We go to the embassy and my mom and I get an American Visa added to our Iranian passports. they said once we enter the U.S. they will send us a permanent resident card in the mail.

So, I come to the U.S. with my newly divorced mother. I spoke English fluently almost with no accent. I am now 15 years old and entered my sophomore year in high school. One day I am sitting in my world history class, in the back of the room on the far right end row and I’m observing the room when suddenly I feel, “I have been here before.” I was sitting in the same exact spot I sat in and some of my classmates had blonde hair and others were black which is something I could never have in Iran.

I just want to point out, that at the age of 11 I had no access to Neville's teachings, I didn’t consciously know what I was doing, I just intended to escape my life in my imagination and I did it at night before sleep and I intensely focused on it because I was so deeply in love with the idea of living in a different country. I didn’t think about what country or even what it would look like, I only resided in the wonderful feeling that my wish is true and I held the feeling so intensely that I fell asleep to it and my subconscious mind put me in the exact drama that would resemble the feeling as completely true. My subconscious dreamed the scene automatically. I didn’t pick it.

Another point is, after that, I always had a sure feeling in my heart that one day I will live in a foreign land, even a psychic had told my mom that she sees suitcases packed and we are leaving the country. I was 12 at that time. my mother thought she was talking nonsense.

From the story that I have shared here, you may be able to tell that I personally nor my mom didn’t lift a finger to make it happen. It all came to us, my cousin offered to fill out the application for us, and she did everything. And my mom kept consciously doubting, she said it will never happen, this is a scam and such words but my subconscious conviction and imagination were far more powerful than the doubts of the conscious mind (i personally didn't think it's gonna happen either, I just had a feeling one day I'll live elsewhere. When we actually won it felt like a miracle. My parents were in the middle of a divorce, they sold the house and all our stuff, I and my mom moved in with my grandparents and suddenly we had good news about moving to the U.S. and everything was at the perfect time. I can even say, it was mathematically perfect timing and the orchestration was done so smoothly and effortlessly. like, an extremely fine work of drama.

I moved to the U.S. at the age of 15, which is 4 years after the visualization experience. Now, I am 24 and received my American passport 4 years ago. Since age 22 I have been consciously manifesting and using the law. Before that, I didn’t have any practice or technique that would allow me to “direct” the law. I manifested a 7 figure business and healed my shoulder injury all from the state of being half asleep. From the drowsy state between complete sleep and wakefulness.

The last thing I want to add is that you want to replace your feeling of attachment to an idea with the feeling of conviction and certainty that it is already done. It is the present reality. Instead of the worry feeling of “what if it doesn’t come true?” reside in the feeling of, “ahh, how wonderful that I am this…”.

It is truly about changing your concept of yourself. Even when you worry and have anxiety around your life you are still in the center of the universe with the divine. And always remember that you have these wonderful capacities because you are God’s child. As he said “yee are made in his image.” that means, the wonderful mind of the creator of this wonderful drama of a universe resides within you. Therefore as he dreams, you can dream too. It’s just about controlling your mind and feeling. And remember, the cause of all our suffering is that we have lost touch with our true Self which is one with the Lord of the universe.

Take this affirmation with you:

“I know that God’s power is limitless; and as I am made in His image, I, too, have the strength to overcome all obstacles.”

and, always, always, always, focus on the feeling of the wish fulfilled before falling asleep.

Here's the link if you wanna read it on the app :- 🔗🔗🔗

#law of assumption #neville goddard #loa #manifestation advice #manifest #sp manifest #111talks #affirmation #self concept #manifestations #reddit

[go-go-devil]

23, 38, E for Lei? (Also idk if you have any hylics ocs but if you do......)

I do have Hylics oc's actually! Albedo and Umbra, known formally as the Sages of Sculptures, whom I have written as major supporting characters in my Hylics lore fics in the past. I'll answer these questions for both Leiurus and them 🦂🌗

23) How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Leiurus envies heroes above all else. Doesn't matter if they came from sacred family lineages or were poor peasants who rose to greatness, it's the mere fact that they were able to fulfill their dreams of grandeur while Lei, despite how hard she worked for hers, turned out to be a failure. She knows full well how stupidly selfish that sort of envy is, but no matter what it always itches in the back of her mind. Throughout her journey this has largely manifested in her killing and/or plundering the precious valuables off the hollowed corpses of heroes past, so that she may get to play her role as the Chosen Undead in attire more fitting than her typical thieving gear.

The Sages of Sculptures would not dare give any hints to them being envious of anything. What would higher beings such as them even need to be envious about? They can create all they ever desire! Well, they may have successfully made a Moon, and all the life that inhabits it, but still these psychics have not achieved the grandest goal of metamorphosing into pneumatics. This goal remains just out of reach for the pair, no matter how hard they researched and improved their craft and resorted to... dangerous experiments in their pursuit of godhood. Undeniably it was their envy that doomed their celestial satellite and destroyed (most) of their creations.

38) What memory do they revisit the most often?

Most often of all, Lei revisits memories of living with her Aunt Tabby. It was the only safe, stable home environment she ever had growing up, and even despite its tragic end the good memories still do well to ease her mind of stressful thoughts. The tragedy of her aunt's hollowing also creeps its way back into her thoughts from time to time, and though it has played enough that it doesn't reduce her to tears anymore, it never fails to ignite her deep depression on how rotten her life has become.

It's harder for me to pinpoint what exact memory Albedo and Umbra revisit most often simply because of how old they are (we're talking centuries in hylics time), but I imagine the one they cherish most was when they had finally sculpted their own hylic moon beings. These sages had dedicated their lives to the act of creation, so for the couple to achieve the creation of wholly new life not thought possible before was a monumental moment for them! What made it even better was that these beings would be their loyal subjects to be nurtured and evolved into a truly enlightened civilization, with one in particular serving as their heir to the throne once they were ready to ascend into pneumatics and create new universes.

If only...

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

For Leiurus, my ability to get along with her would hinge solely on my shared love for dragons. Since childhood, Lei has had an obsession with dragons, wanting more than anything to befriend one and perhaps even learn its mighty magic. Now that she's encountered some actual dragons in her travels through Lordran (even if they were either undead or grossly deformed) this desire has suddenly resurfaced stronger than ever. I think as long as I engage with her in a long conversation about how awesome dragons are, she won't rob me :)

Now for the Sages of Sculptures, I probably would get along with them on the basis that, generally speaking, they are very polite to strangers and willing to converse with them so long as they have the time. Since the two of them act like a singular being, I would have to work toward the good graces of both of them, and I'd have to put some work into being respectful and thoughtful of them and their creations since sages in their world are treated almost like demigods. If they don't get along with me they'd either send me away or, if I really piss them off, would deconstruct my cells with their Apoptosis gesture until I am reduced to a pile of lifeless clay, so fingers crossed I don't mess up in my meeting with them 🤞

#asks #my ocs #leiurus the scorpion #the sages of sculptures #I had to think hard for these questions #hope you learned more about my fearsome thief and god-like demiurges ;)

[heximagines]

Hi can you do something based on what it would be like to be Eddie's lesbian best friend? thank you

I knooow queer coming out stories are considered kinda over done but I will never let go of them. I hope you enjoy! 🖤🖤🖤

Eddie watched you pace back and forth across your room, biting anxiously at your nails. You’d called him here telling him that you had something very important you needed him to know. Quickly you moved to your window and peeked out past the blinds, making sure no one was coming home. Finally he’d had enough. “Hey, just come here and sit down. You’re bugging me out.” He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards the bed. Taking a deep breath you sit beside him. “Sorry, I’m just… Okay, we’re best friends right?” Without hesitation Eddie nodded. “Of course.” “But what if I’ve been lying to you about something? Something important. About myself.” His face dropped suddenly, making your heart sink. “Well, it would really fucking bum me out. But you know we all have stuff we’d rather keep to ourselves. I just hope you know that I care about you no matter what.” You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This is exactly why Eddie was your best friend. His words gave you all the encouragement you needed. “I’m going to tell you a secret now. And I just hope that if it does make you not want to hang out with me, you’ll at least keep it a secret.” After a moment of thought Eddie held his pinky finger out to you in a silent promise. You linked your’s with his and took a deep breath. “Okay so do you remember when we were kids and we were watching Josie and the Pussycats and you got your first boner?” His face flushed. “I thought we were talking about your secret?” “I promise this is connected.” He groaned, “Yeah, I remember. What about it?” “Well, I totally understood. Because my first crush was also on Melody Valentine… But you know. I could never tell anyone that. I didn’t really know why that was wrong but I knew it was. I thought, hoped… Maybe it was just a one off thing. But it wasn’t… After that it was Sabrina from the Ghoulies… Then Farrah Fawcett when she was in Charlie’s Angels. Then dude, Morticia Adams. That was a big one. I used to watch The Addams family and imagine what it’d be like to be Gomez Addams and have a beautiful wife I was obsessed with.” You could feel his eyes on you but you stared straight ahead, too scared you’ll find disgust or judgment there. “That I was in love with.” Eddie released your pinky so he could take your hand and squeeze it, urging you on. “When we hit 10th grade I realized that this feeling wasn’t going to stop. Because I met my first girlfriend that year. Jen Sellers. Dude I was so crazy about her. And all I wanted to do was tell you all about it. But I was scared."

There was silence and you found it hard to look at him right then. But finally after a long pause Eddie laughed. He laughed so hard tears started to form in his eyes. Hurt, you tried to yank your hand away but he gripped it tighter. "It's not funny man! I'm being serious!" "No! I know," he gasped between laughs, "that's why it's so fucking funny." You stared at him open mouthed until he calmed down, wiping the corners of his eyes with his knuckle. "Dude. I know you're a lesbian. It was not a well guarded secret." "You knew?" "Y/n, last week we were watching Return of the Living Dead and you said you'd lay across a puddle so Linnea Quigley wouldn't have to get her boots dirty." He couldn't keep a snort at bay as he recalled your exact words. "W-Well yeah but-" "and the week before that you said that Three's Company would be your dream come true if Jack wasn't involved." You bit your lip, it was true you had said that. You supposed that you'd been so comfortable around Eddie some things would just slip out without you realizing. "So you knew the whole time?" "Dude you wanted to be the husband when we played house as kids. You made me wear one of your dresses." You crack a smile and pull him into a tight hug. You laughed a bit but you felt like you were about to cry. "And you were still my friend?" He hugged you back tightly. "Come on. What kind of dick do you think I am? Of course I was still your friend. I always will be." A few tears slid down your face. You sniffled and wiped them away before Eddie could see. When you finally let go he was grinning like an idiot. "Come on cry baby. Let's go get pizza and check out the chicks at the record store." You rub at your eyes one more time before nodding. "Sounds good."

As you followed Eddie out of your room you felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest. He had known the whole time and still stuck by you, defended you even when people would call you nasty names. You couldn't be more grateful to have a friend like him. "So, did you see the shirt Sarah Felch was wearing in history class today?" "Duuuude yes. I was trying so hard not to stare but fuck. She looked amazing." "It was practically see though." You smacked the back of his head playfully. "Hey don't act like you didn't notice too."

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things imagine #complete

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Friday, 28 July 2023

“Things are heating up on Days of Our Lives” is the generic thing the announcer says if you’re not quick enough to skip past the autoplay promo bullshit on Peacock. Presumably they had him say that because things are always heating up and therefore it will always be true.

Today it’s not particularly true. TWO SETS OF PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED AND IT’S FRIDAY and it’s still not really true. Join me now on this journey of not-really-heating up, won’t you?

First, Rafe visits Jada to invite him to Gabi and Stefan’s wedding.

I am embarrassed to admit that I spent a minute or two wondering why the fuck Rafe would bother going to that before I remembered that Gabi is his sister. And I only remembered it then because he said it out loud.

Jada’s all “fine, I guess we’re allowed to openly be a couple now so I’ll go to your stupid family obligation thing.” (Actually she seems pretty happy to go. I suspect she’s heard about how insane Salem weddings can get and is excited that she finally has a chance to see one herself.)

Over at Sloan’s place, Eric shows up and he’s furious. He’s seen the results of that DNA test that EJ and Nicole had done and now he knows Nicole’s baby is really his and that Sloan covered it up.

Which would be an amazing development — some actual forward motion in this stupid, go-nowhere plot… if not for the fact that it was all a dream.

Uggggh.

Sloan ends up going to the hospital, claiming to be Nicole, and dropping “her husband” EJ DiMera’s name to terrify the staff into handing over the test to her.

Sloan, YOU ARE A LAWYER. Not only should you know better, but you should have a lot more dignity than the levels you’ve been displaying lately.

Then Nicole (the actual Nicole) shows up for the test results.

So Sloan ducks into a side room and tears open the test results to discover… the baby isn’t EJ’s. Meaning it’s Eric’s.

Which will be great. Some day. When Eric ends up with two babies with two women who despise each other. But that’s months and months from now. Sloan herself is like, six hours pregnant at this point. We have so much more of this tedium ahead of us.

Meanwhile, Gwen is getting ready for her wedding and picks up Leo’s phone, which has a bunch of racy text messages showing up on the lock screen.

Yes Gwen, I suppose you shall say that.

The messages came from someone Leo has saved as “MP” and in case you forgot, this is a reference to Dimitri’s magic penis.

Oh, Leo. You’re so cute when you’re secretly fucking the fiance of the only person you claim to care about in this world.

Gabi and Stefan are also preparing for their wedding today, but mostly they’re sitting upstairs and telling each other how in love they are.

I’m certain I’ve pointed this out before, but this is usually a sure-fire sign that something is about to explode. Or at the very least, heat up. But mostly they’re still just being cute. Which I don’t actually mind because I’m certain this isn’t going to last very much longer.

Then Dimitri shows up at the DiMera mansion to throw his wedding with Gwen… only to find that Stefan already has the place decked out for his wedding to Gabi.

And suddenly I am reminded of the late, great John Aniston (whose character is still apparently alive somehow), who, when asked what his favorite moment during his tenure on the show was, mentioned the lavish trip to Greece the show did for one of his character’s weddings. “Back when the show had money,” he said. Which really sticks with me at times like this, when they put up a few extra urns and some flowers in this existing living room set.

Anyway, Dimitri asks if Stefan wouldn’t mind making it a double wedding. EJ laughs this off, but Stefan pulls him aside…

…and somehow talks him into it. Because Stefan is the only level-headed person in this entire family. (Well, there’s Tony, but he disappears for months at a time and is nowhere to be seen for any of this.)

Even more astoundingly, he talks Gabi into it!

So the ceremony gets underway.

Then we come to the part that everyone in Salem dreads…

…and there’s a cute moment where both sets of couples ask why we would even include that part in a Salem wedding.

Then the episode ends with Leo speaking up at that part WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS GOING ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. 

NOTHING IS HEATING UP HERE. THIS IS COLD AND BORING AND I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS BETTER, DAYS.

It made me wish someone would kidnap Abe again just so someone could rescue him again. Because THAT was a fucking Friday cliffhanger.

#days of our lives #dool #peacock #soap opera

[asgoreandbud]

UNDERTALE: Kindness, Parts 1 and 2! :)

(Based off UNDERTALE by toby fox…any events that play out in real life are not in any way coincidences uwu)…

Long ago two races ruled the earth…HUMANS and MONSTERS…they lived peacefully together until one day war broke out between the two races…After a long battle the humans were victorious…presumably it was out of fear but sadly many monsters were murdered…Friend was turned against friend…lovers and families were torn apart…The humans sealed the monsters underground with a magical barrier which only a human could pass…Many years later…Mt.Ebbot 202x…Legends say that those who climbed the mountain would never return…but you already knew that, You knew about the monsters…about ASGORE…many a human claimed this all to be a fable but you wished-No…you knew that you would show KINDNESS… …And in your heart…you would do what’s right…

You wake up on a pile of golden flowers…Finally…after all this time…you’ve waited so long…for your dream to come true…you look around hoping to find another soul…your foot got hurt while climbing down even when you used a rope carefully…your backpack has your precious belongings and a phone to keep contact with your parents and siblings…You look around, you begin to tear up in relief…it was all worth it…it was true…You could live the life of love you’ve always wished for in passing days…after a while of reflecting you get up despite your hurt leg and walk to the next room…you used to know what was “supposed” to happen in the underground but your memory seemed to be wiped clean of that other than the clear memory of //////// (crossed out)…you saw a golden flower who turned around…”Howdy! I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower!” You smiled “Oh hello, You can call me Bud…” Flowey smiled cheekily, “Glad to meet you too…You must be new to the underground arent’cha?” “Golly you must be so confused and a bit hurt I can see!…Too bad there’s no one else to show you around let alone help, so I guess lil’ old me will have to do!” Flowey hastily started a board and a green heart came out from your chest…there was also a health bar and your ‘lv’…”See that heart?” You nodded, “That’s your SOUL the culmination of your being! Your soul starts off weak but you can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV!” “What does LV stand for?”Why LOVE of course!” Flowey smiled and took out 5 white seeds “Down here LOVE is shared through little white ‘friendliness pellets’…I actually have some on me so go ahead and catch as many as you can!” Your SOUL reached out for the pellets until…you felt a sharp piercing pain from your very SOUL…you let out a cry of pain…”you IDIOT” “In this world it’s kill or be killed…who would pass up on an opportunity like this?” He surrounded you with bullets all around…”DIE.”You looked around in terror as he cackled maniacally…you cried…was this the end?…

suddenly you felt a healing energy around you and the sound a fireball whisking Flowey away…A kind motherly monster arrived…”What a terrible creature torturing such a poor innocent youth…Are you alright my child?…”She looked at you with concern…Greetings I am Toriel guardian of the RUINS…I pass by here to see if any human has fallen…here follow me I will guide you through the catacombs…”You took her hand as she led you. The next room had a pile of leaves and looming staircase…The next room had a few buttons. “Down here in the underground there are many puzzles, ancient traps and diversions to block enemies”…She stepped on a few of the tiles and pressed the switch next to the door which swung open. “Come along now…” she beckoned, There was a small sign, “Brave ones…foolish ones…both not walk the middle path”…what could that possibly mean? You hoped to not pass in the following dungeons but you knew Toriel cared for you so you hoped you would be safe, you said a short prayer and waked into the next room…”Your doing quite well my child” said Toriel. “Here, there’s a simple puzzle, you only need to press the switches and I even marked them for you.” You looked around the purple stoned room and pressed the large switch with written arrows clearly pointed. The spikes blocking the path cleared and you repeated the process with the next set of switches. Toriel took your hand and led you to the next room. There was a training dummy which looked quite worn and another door leading to the next room. “Umm…Mrs. Toriel…what is this?” You asked. “Well…” she explained “As a human living in the underground monsters may attack you or block your way…” could that explain why that flower attacked you?…”When an enemy starts a FIGHT try to talk to them, pick a friendly conversation and Stall for time and I will intervene. Here try practicing with this dummy.” You walked over to the dummy. Your soul popped out of your chest and the battle started…

Dummy-Atk 0 Def 0 A cotton body and a button heart, the apple of my eye…What voice was that…?…you stood there for just a second and then ACTed hugging the dummy. *The dummy seems happy but sadly they do not have arms…* The dummy stood there *You asked the dummy how it’s day is going…the dummy doesn’t respond…But Toriel seems happy with you…”You won! You gained 0 Exp and 0 Gold!” Came the same voice…the battle ended and Toriel smiled. “Good…very good my child…” you them walked through the next room…there was a path and then a large patch of spikes…Toriel saw the worried look on your face and took your hand walking through the spikes…you got to the other side safely. “Thank you mrs.Toriel…” you said…”No problem my child but you can call me Toriel…” “Alright…” you said…you then entered an extremely long corridor…Toriel looked at you. “You have done excellently thus far my child…but now I have a difficult request to make of you…please walk through the hall by yourself…forgive me for this…” Before you could say anything she ran off…You started walking…suddenly a froggit leaped out at you! Just like with the dummy your soul popped out from your chest…The froggit threw little bug like projectiles at you, you managed to dodge all of them relatively easily…You decided to act *Compliment…You told Froggit you loved his creative attack…*The Froggit didn’t understand but was flattered anyway…(*croak croak* *blushes deeply*)…*The froggit came up to you and licked your face and then hugging you! What goes around comes around…You won! You gained 0 Exp and 2 Gold! The battle ended and the froggit hopped by waving goodbye before leaving…You looked around…”hello?…Is anyone there?” You asked hoping the mysterious voice that talked during battle would respond. *No response* came the voice…”Alright…” you thought “I won’t bother you…but if you could tell me who you are I’d be happy to listen!” You said…You looked around once more…Toriel was too Far away to hear you and you couldn’t even see her…but you kept walking…about a minute or so later you reached the end of the hallway…Toriel revealed herself hiding behind a pillar…”Greetings my child…I see you have done well, I have only left you as a test of independence, but now I must go for a while…I have an old phone on me and you can call me if anything happens…in the meanwhile please wait here…”

Toriel left the room and went on ahead…You sat down and waited three minutes…you decided to call Toriel…*Ring ring* “Hello this is toriel…” “Oh…you wanted to say hello?” “Well ‘hello there!’ I hope that suffices” *beep*…You sat there for another five minutes until you heard something…”Why are you waiting there for so long…?” Came the same voice…”Oh!” You replied. “Well Toriel told me too”…the voice then became visible. She was a ghost around twelve or so with a green and cream yellow striped shirt and medium length brown hair…” “Wait…you hear me until now?” She asked. “Umm…yea” you said. “You didn’t hear me call for my mother this whole time?! None of this makes sense! Why are we in the ruins?! Where’s Asriel? And why is Dad not around?!” She asked in frustration. You looked at her sadly…”I…don’t know what your talking about…” you said. “Well I don’t know where I am either…I’ve been trying to get through to my mother for the past ten minutes now and I’m forced to follow you, a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever…” she said crossing her arms…”Wait…Toriel is your mother…?” You asked. “Well…she adopted me…but I wouldn’t trust a human to tell my little story to…” you were taken aback but asked…”Why…?” “Because none of them can be trusted…” she said. “I-i’m just trying to ask…” you teared up…”Well…you seem to be kind enough…My names Chara and now I’m apparently here to narrate everything going on by you…It’s funny how your practically a full grown adult but still need my help…” she said…”but I’m only an inch shorter than you…” she said amused…”Well nice to meet you CHARA…I’m bud” you said…Chara nodded. “Alright I guess I’ll be stuck with you for the time being” she said…as her ghost followed you…You walked into the next room. “Hello my child? You have not left the room have you not?” She asked…You didn’t respond…”Well hopefully I’ll be back soon. Be good alright?” She hung up…you saw the same Froggit whom you battled earlier…He motioned to you go come closer…*Ribbit ribbit* Chara started to translate…”Excuse me human…I have some advice about battling monsters…If you act a certain way or fight until you almost defeat them…they might not want to battle you anymore…If monsters do not want to fight you…please…use some Mercy human…” “You nodded…”Thank you…You are a kind human, you were the one who has spared me have you not?…Well I have a surprise for you, up north there is a room with some candy…Why not take one and treat yourself?…” “…Oh your very welcome *ribbit ribbit*…That was very sweet of him…you thought.

You walked up into the next room. “Howdy!” Came a familiar voice…Flowey popped out of the ground…”H-help!” You gasped in terror looking at the flower standing in front of the candy bowl…”It’s me Flowey…” he smiled…He immediately changed his tone of voice…”I’m sorry for trying to attack you…I was just a little worked up…” He said…”Oh…” “I’d like to apologize again” he said…you smiled back at him “It’s alright Flowey…” Flowey stood there deliberating something…”So…do you have any questions to ask me?… He offered…”Well…who are you?” You asked. “Well me?…I’m just a little flower, nothing much to see…” he said…”Umm…why did you try to attack me?”…”Well I was just a little worked up to see a human…” he replied. You asked again…”What did you mean when you mentioned about the ‘true meaning of this world” When you tried to kill me…?” You asked Well I have a plan…Monsters have been trapped underground for centuries…and I have a plan to help free them…I can also see the hope in your eyes…your looking for someone as well am I right?…” “Yea” you answered “And also…is there any way I can help to free everyone?” You asked “…Sure…Just keep doing whatever your planning, I can help you along the way…”He smiled. “I also have another tip!” “If you ever see a twinkling star…touch it…That’ll be your salvation…” he said cryptically…You looked around and said with a nervous smile…”Thank you…” “Your very welcome!” Said Flowey…”I know you must be so confused about everything but the Ruins here aren’t dangerous…in fact theres even a nice surprise right here! Why don’t you take some candy?” He offered. *Theres a candy bowl in front of you…it says take one…will you take a piece of candy?” You took a single candy and put it in a small bag you had…”Why don’t you take another one?” Said Flowey…”Well…I wouldn’t steal…” you said. “C’mon it’s not stealing…what if Toriel or that Froggit wants one?” He goaded. “…Alright…” you said taking a candy for Toriel… ” but you felt remorseful so you put it back…”I’m sorry Flowey…i can’t” you said…”Alright no problem” he replied…”I’ll be going now but I’m glad to see you…I’ll be by the end of the Ruins alright?” “Alright” you said “see you” said Flowey popping into the ground…”Your really trusting him?” Asked Chara…”i guess so…he seems to be kind enough and he might of been spooked to see a human” you said…”Ok…” “But honestly he seems  suspicious…and I don’t trust you either” she said. “…” you didn’t say anything but gave a sad look…”look I’m just a kid! Don’t you understand how that flower acts just like any other human? He’s nice and friendly at the start but in the end destroys you…” She said bitterly. You didn’t know what to say…and maybe she was right, but Flowey wanted to free the underground as little as you knew about it, and no one here seemed exactly evil other than his own first betrayal…where you too quick to trust? “i-i” “It’s fine…” She said grumpily “i’m sorry…” you said…Chara shrugged her shoulders and continued Floating around Disclaimer: Chara’s right now going through the grief of failing the plan to free everyone and her own death plus Asriel’s injury right now…she’s also really confused,disoriented and upset that no one had heard her call :’(…

You suddenly saw a yellow star by a nearby pile of leaves. Even though you never saw anything like this you had a intuition of what to do. You reached out and…*Finding a new “friend” and crinkling through the leaves fills you with Kindness Lv:1 Hp 17/17 2/7/27 Saved* You gave a bashful looking smile to Chara’s sarcasm at the mention of your new ‘friend’…”By the way…I can’t speak that often or while others are talking so keep that in mind” She said. “Alright…And hopefully we’ll find a way to free you too…” you said with a palpable but subdued excitement…Chara gave a sad smile…She seemed to be reminded of an old friend…you waved past the first Froggit and walked into the next room where a Froggit and whimsum leaped at you…You gave the Froggit a little pat and spared it while the whimsum released a circle of butterfly pellets…You watched them flutter around you as it looked around anxiously…*Whimsum Atk 1 Def 0, This monster seems too sensitive to fight…* you consoled the whimsum and showed basic human empathy, Whimsum added you to there kin list! You won! you earned 0 Exp and 3 gold! The whimsum flittered away feeling a little happier you also felt joyful…but this felt too easy…it was much harder to be all compassionate to humans…you loved them but even being kind could get you a scathing remark or judgement from another…but you kept going…the next trap was a hole that you fell through and climbed to the other side…it was simple enough along with the next room…*Spider bakesale! Down to the right! Food made by spiders! For spiders! Of Spiders!*”…Gross…”said Chara…”I agree” you said squeamishly…hopefully there’d be more…kosher…options around…You kept walking and saw three Froggits. *Hello human! Do you know that you can stop people from talking by ignoring them? It’s called stonewalling! Try it sometime if you want a divorce…” “Savage…” remarked Chara. “But really…I’m relieved you listened…sometimes all one needs is to talk something out…I’m glad to have got that off my chest!…the next froggit started speaking…*ribbit ribbit* psst…human someone told me that theres a F4 convention…what could that mean? A musical note? Four froggits? There seems to be only three froggits in this room…” you looked around and saw a small white speck in the wall…you went toward it and saw a small Froggit…*You notice a small ant sized Froggit. It waves toward you…”Aww…” you said…Roght after you notified the second Froggit about him who perked up and gave a cordial nod…You walked over past the third Froggit…*Ribbit ribbit* I see that you are quite merciful…for a a human at least…for sure by now you know that when a monsters name is yellow you can spare them…what do you think?

💚I love it   I hate it

That’s good but remember…one day you may need to Spare another even if there name isn’t yellow…you walked over to the next room before hearing the phone ring *Ring ring* “Hello my child I have something to share” said Toriel. “If you find an item on the ground feel free to keep it…but be sure to save space for something you’d really like…You’ll never know when you’ll need it!” “Wait…you wish to call me a second mother? That’s very sweet…but your a adult…Oh you mean symbolically…Alright…well I’ll be glad to have you in my home…Don’t worry dear it will be my pleasure, I’ll see you alright?…” *Beep* (Any narrating text in parentheses is Chara’s thoughts which Bud doesn’t hear…”Did mom…forget me…? Where’s dad in all this and…what about Azzy?…I’m sure there will be an explanation for this…”) The next room had a sign…”three out of Four rocks recommend being pushed…” there was only one rock and you gently moved it onto the button near it…the spike trap opened up…after dealing with a sassy rock and three overly affectionate moldsmals you saw a small table with cheese by a mousehole. You realized something…*Ring ring* “Hello this is Toriel…Oh hello dear human…Oh your jewish?(please don’t persecute me! *sweat sweat*)…Don’t worry my kitchen is kosher (Toriel and Asgore are jewish now cuz i apparently sed so…*cue smushy sleepy relieved face*)…we don’t exactly have meat or milk down here…Oh don’t worry your not imposing…If your unsure about anything you can always ask…be good alright?…Toriel hung up…*Knowing the mouse might one day take the cheese fills you with kindness…Lv: 1 Hp 13/17 restored *Saved*…You walked into the next room…”Oh theres another ghost…” said Chara. “Where?” You asked. “Over there…Why don’t you nudge it?” You walked up until the marrow passageway where a nearly invisible ghost was lying over a pile of leaves. *the ghost is pretending to be asleep while saying “z” repeatedly, will you push the ghost?” *No… “C’mon” said Chara “You have no other choice, you want to be stuck here forever?….” “No…” you replied…”Then at least tap it…” “Alright” you said, *You reluctantly tapped the dummy…you felt bad…* “Nnnn….ggggghhhhh……wait who’s there?” The ghost said before starting battle. The battle started…*Napstablook Atk 10 Def 10, this ghost has no sense of humor* Napstablook heard Chara directly and even commented! “Yea I’m real funny…” he said before leaving a trail of tears…you dodged them and ACTed. *Cheer, You gave Napstablook a patient smile…He seemed to cheer up a bit…* The sad ghost gave a sigh….”Sorry not really feeling up to it…”

*Cheer, You told Napstablook a few jokes…He seems to be a little better now…” He let out a trail of ectoplasm tears which hit you twice this time it was only a little tingling sensation…You then ACTed a third time *Cheer, you told Napstablook that your there for him, he seems to have cheered up!   *Napstablook seems to want to show you something….* He started crying upward turning his tears into a hat, “What do you think? I call it ‘Dapperblook’…” *Cheer…Napstablook spared you…He started speaking “Usually i come to the ruins because there’s no one around…but today i met someone nice…” “Oh! i’m probably getting in your way…i’m sorry…well see you, OOOoooOOOoohhh…he disappeared before you could respond…(*You followed the human around…he seemed…ok…he reminded you of Asriel but his goody-goody act was cranked all the way up to ten, he was nice…but very excitable…and you didn’t know to think of someone like him…was he deceitful? You floated around and occasionally commented as he said that he liked BOTH cinnamon and butterscotch to Toriel’s prompt, solved puzzles and spared monsters…Eventually the two of you reached your old home) Toriel was on the phone in the distance carrying a bag of groceries…the nearest store was pretty far from here, being off the path of the ruins and a fifteen minute walk…it seems that you both came right on time…) You saw a large tree with fallen autumn leaves around it and a cute cozy home in the distance…Toriel was also on the phone and was walking in your direction while talking on the phone…”…Oh no problem I’m almost done but I have something else to attend to-“Toriel saw you and startled for a second…”Oh…my child are you alright?” She asked concerned…”You have quite a few scratches, here I’ll heal you…” She said putting a hand on your head. Green magic glowed around you as your HP was restored, just like when you saved…”It was of irresponsible of me to leave you so long…even an adult can easily fall to the monsters underground…” she mused” But I am proud…” she smiled. “I guess I can’t keep my surprise hidden any longer…come into my home…” she walked forward…*Seeing such a Cozy and tidy home fills you with Kindness…Lv: 1 Hp: 17/17 saved*…

You walked into her home…”Welcome to my home…” she said. “It’s been such a long time since any human has been here…you can be my guest for as long as you want…and as for my surprise I’ve made a cinnamon butterscotch pie!” “Thank you” you said. (“I can’t believe she’s forgotten all about me…I guess my death hasn’t really affected them that much…) “And now for my second surprise…she led you to the hallway…”Your own room!…I know it’s a bit Juvenile but hopefully we can decorate it sooner or later” she said opening the door. “It’s alright…It looks quite cozy in there and even the bed size is just right” you said. Before she could reply the smell of pie filled the air…”Wait a moment, the pie’s ready and I don’t want it to burn.” She quickly headed to her oven to take the pie out. “Feel free to explore the house” Toriel said while walking past the living room…well you took her advice and went to your room to check it out. You felt tired and based on how much time had past it was likely late at night…you put on a set of pajamas you packed in your bag and went to bed…(The human or ‘bud’ as everyone called him was finally asleep…you were free to walk around! Or not…you couldn’t leave the room but at least you had some time to ponder without being dragged around…Why was Mom in the ruins? Where in the world was Dad and Asriel? And why weren’t there at least some hints of what happened…other than monsters randomly attacking you guys…there wasn’t many answers…”I guess I’ll sleep as well”… you thought before drifting off)…

You woke up refreshed and got up from your bed…you felt thankful to Toriel for saving your life and being so accommodating and you were happy that Flowey wasn’t such a bad monster after all…you looked around the room and noticed that Toriel left a slice of pie for you…*you put the slice in your bag*…Chara seemed to be also waiting for you to wake up…”good morning” you said. “Hello…” said Chara… ”…” “…” 

{This is the inspecting home section!} You decided to look around the room first…*Look at all these cool toys! They don’t seem to interest you at all though…*There’s a old dusty photo frame, the picture is missing* *It’s a twin sized bed* you left the room…you walked through the hallway and noticed some “water sausages”… “Hey…about you go to mom’s room?” Chara suggested…”Alright…” you said. You walked in…

*There’s a diary sitting on her desk, will you read it? (💚yes)there’s a joke on the top of the page…why was the skeleton sad? He was feeling BONELY!…the rest of the book has jokes of a similar caliber…*Theres Mom’s chair! Her name is Chariel…Definitely bigger than twin sized bed…there’s an encyclopedia…you skim through the pages…”Typha…an subterranean plant which grows long brown oblong seeds, it’s more commonly known as a “water sausage”…You looked in Toriel’s dresser…Scandalous! … … …it’s her sock drawer…Ahhh…the cactus most tsundere of plants…Not like it’s waiting for you to come back or anything…You leave the room and walk thorugh the hallway…*Oh! It’s a water sausage!* you walk over to the mirror…*It’s you!*}  you go over to the living room and see Toriel reading a book…”Oh, up so early?” She asked…”mhm” you nodded. “Well I’m so glad to have you here…there’s so much for us to do here…we can catch snails, read books, and maybe even give you college money!…you know, I’ve always waited to see my child grown up…it’ll be nice to spend the start of your life here…So is there anything you need?

💚Nothing   How to leave the ruins

“Alright feel free to walk the ruins…it seems that you’ve befriended quite a few monsters here!…

*And so the next month or so passed…there were more monsters that you met and you got some friendships and learning done here as well…but soon…you felt like you wished to see the rest of the underground…Flowey was waiting for you and you hadn’t seen him since, and though Chara was happy to see her mother, she seemed impatient and never told you why…You were in full contact with your family but you missed them…and so one day…

Toriel was sitting on the rocking chair reading a book when you woke up, she greeted you…”Oh hello my child, is there anything that you need?” She asked                                                                                     i’m fine  💚When can i leave the Ruins

Toriel seemed worried by your question and tried to switch the subject…”Umm…how about you read this snail encyclopedia…? It’s called 72,000 facts about snails…Did you know that snails…make terrible shoelaces?…Toriel waited for your reaction…

“i’m sorry…but please i need to know how to leave the ruins…” you said. Toriel stammered…”Well how about you go to the other monsters and see what there doing?…” she asked…”Really…where can i see the rest of the underground? You asked. Toriel paused…”Wait here for a moment, I need to do something” she said. She got up and walked down to the basement…you tried to follow quietly to see what was going on…the basement was eerily quiet and seemed to be a path to somewhere…Toriel noticed you immediately, “Here lies the end of the RUINS…a one way exit to the rest of the underground…” Chara floated next to you and gave a quizzical look “What…? A one way exit?” Toriel walked onward…”I have seen it again and again…

(Chara’s face gets increasingly bewildered and shocked as Toriel speaks)

They come…they go…they die. You naive child if you leave they…ASGORE…will kill you…    

ASGORE…the name sounded so familiar to you…you felt your stomach flip flop…

(Chara thinking: “W-what?! Dad…killing?!! This makes zero sense! What in the world is going on…?! I don’t…even want to know any more!”) 

“I am only protecting you, now go back upstairs.” You walked forward. “Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning” said Toriel sternly…

Chara called out…”Don’t go! Just listen to mom!” You gave an bewildered look. “Argh! Just…don’t…” Chara hang her head in exasperation…Toriel stood in front of the ruins exit…”Well…You want to leave so badly?…Hmph…you are just like the others…

(Chara: No….) There is only one solution to this (Chara: please just go back…) Prove yourself…Prove to me you are strong enough to survive! The battlefield slowly emerged, your soul reluctantly popping out from your body. *Toriel- Atk 80 Def 80. Knows what’s best for you…* Toriel threw a barrage of Fire balls at your soul…*You took 3 damage!* you tried to ACT…*But you couldn’t think of any conversation topics…* Toriel looked down at you throwing more attacks…*You took 6 damage!* *Toriel looks through you…* *You tried to come up with something to say but…* *You took 5 damage!* you felt an ache in your heart…You didn’t want to hurt Toriel…you couldn’t fight…and running away wasn’t an option. *Ironically talking doesn’t seem to be the solution to this…* Toriel looked worried for you. She saw your soul covered in burns. Her attacks…started to avoid you…*You remembered the Froggit’s words…To show mercy even if your foe wasn’t ready to…* 💚Spare

“…” Chara looked straight ahead surprised. You spared Toriel again… 

“…”

“…”

*Toriel seems aloof* 💚Spare

“…”

“…”

“…”

*Toriel prepares a magical attack* 💚Spare

“…?”

*Toriel seems worried*

“What are you doing?” 💚Spare

“Attack or run away!”💚Spare

“Stop it!” 💚Spare

“Fight me or leave!”💚Spare

“What are you proving this way?” 💚Spare

Toriel looked sadly…

“…” 💚Spare…      Bud: I’m…sorry…

“…” 💚Spare…      Bud: M-mother…i-i wish to go…

“I know you wish to leave the ruins…but…” 💚Spare

“We can be happy…” 💚Spare

“I know we do not have much…” 💚Spare

“But we can have a good life here…” 💚Spare

“…” 💚Spare

“No…I understand…the ruins get quite small once your used to them…you would just be unhappy trapped down here…My expectations…My loneliness…My fears…For you my child…I will put them aside…” Toriel spared you…”If you truly wish to leave the Ruins I will not stop you…but I have a request…please do not come back…I hope you understand…” Toriel hugged you goodbye. Chara joined in as well. Toriel left wordlessly waving goodbye… “Goodbye mom…” said Chara quietly…you stood there wiping away your tears…you wanted to go back…but you had to go on…After a while you walked into the 

You saw Flowey waiting for you as you left the ruins doors…He greeted you. “Howdy! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!” “Hello Flowey!” You smiled. “I have quite a few things to share…First of all you haven’t killed anyone! You must be really proud of yourself…huh?” The last part of his sentence seemed…jaded…Flowey coughed. “Sorry…I mean…how would I word it? You haven’t killed anyone, I’m so glad to see that…you really are a unique human…you know there was one I remember just like you…” he trailed off. “But enough about me…do you remember the yellow glimmers I told you about?” He asked. ‘Yea…’ you said. “Well those are SAVE points. “When you SAVE, you have a checkpoint to go back to if you die. It’s only available for the most determined being of the Underground…” you listened to Flowey as he talked. “We seem to have the same amount of DETERMINATION…Your seems fueled by a certain hope…a certain wish…and mine…by my plan…When you lose your ability to SAVE i gain it…but when you gain it, you have the power to control the timeline…pretty neat, hm?” Asked Flowey. “Yea…” you replied. “And that brings me to my plan. As a determined human as you, I believe you can make it through the rest of the underground even without gaining LV, and when you make it to the king…i’ll be there to help break the barrier which seals us monsters underground…” “How are we going to break such a powerful barrier?” You asked. “Well…” Flowey answered. “There are other humans who fell and there six souls are almost strong enough to break the barrier…I can’t tell you the rest of my plan but when you get there we can help free the monsters!” “Thank you Flowey” you said. “your welcome” he said. “Until then…I’ll see you” as he popped into the earth…(Chara: “…”

Bud: Smile) you opened the final passageway to the underground and braced yourself for the journey ahead… 

UNDERTALE: Kindness💚

Original game by Toby fox and Temmie chang

#asgore #flowey #toriel #pacifist run #true pacifist #pacifist ending #undertale headcanons #undertale anniversary #undertale #undertale oc #undertale au #undertale kindness #undertale fanfiction #Asgore x bud

[pcrfectillusicn]

noah matthews

gender - male age - 46 occupation - attorney sexuality - heterosexual fandom - fandomless faceclaim - john krasinski

biography points.

noah comes from a long line of attorneys. both his mother and father worked in law; his father working as a real estate attorney and his mother working as the A.D.A. naturally his parents expected him to become a lawyer as well. lucky for them, it happened.

with his career mapped out for him, noah worked hard during all his years of schooling. when he entered undergrad, that was where he met virginia james. the woman who eventually became his wife.

the two were so happily in love throughout their schooling but there were major differences in their interests and what they wanted to do with their lives. noah wanted to marry her, have children, live in a nice sized house and spend his life loving his career and family. virginia on the other hand had a different view.

nevertheless the two still married.

noah compromised a lot for the woman. one of the biggest? moving to L.A. so virginia could pursue her dream of becoming a model. noah took the first associate attorney job he could find; it was a criminal defense job which he hated but kept it for virginia. he had hopes she would eventually give in and want to settle down once she became a model. he was wrong.

virginia got in with the wrong crowd and began doing drugs. numerous times noah had to come and bail her out for possession.

suddenly virginia became very ill and wouldn’t leave her bed. few weeks she was puking and pale. finally noah got a doctor to come and take a look at her. come to find she was pregnant. noah had to enter virginia into a rehab facility for the sake of the unborn child.

when virginia gave birth, noah was the happiest man on earth. becoming a father was one of his dreams and he had a daughter. however, virginia didn’t share his excitement. all she cared about was getting the weight off and going back to modelling.

their marriage was very rocky after that. noah had to hire a live-in nanny to take care of their daughter. noah finally decided to leave virginia, and LA, when noah came home one day to find the live-in nanny was kicked out, virginia was knocked out from drugs and his daughter was left unattended for lord knew how long.

noah moved back to NYC where his retired mother happily became the new nanny to her granddaughter and noah became a partner attorney at his father’s law firm.

headcannons.

when he doesn’t have to go to court, noah usually works from home so that he can be in the vicinity of his daughter if need be.

it took 3 years for noah to gain full custody for his daughter. now that he has it, virginia hasn’t been around since.

noah is wary on who he lets around his daughter now.

#noah ;; mirror #noah ;; musings #noah ;; open #noah ;; threads #noah ;; playlist

[astaroth1357]

How Often They Worry about MC…

For those who don’t know, I have a little dog named Charlie and she is a large portion of my world. There's no need to be alarmed, my dog is fine, but there are days where I hold her and all I can think about is how much I worry about her health down the line… I suppose we often do that for the people we love, particularly the ones who may not last as long as we will. Take that as inspiration if you'd like.

Lucifer 

Near constantly. 

If you tracked his blood pressure on a grid, you'd see it start to continuously rise about when he decided they were worth having in his life.

Lucifer is the eldest sibling to a whole crew of brothers so he's no stranger to worry. He worried about his brothers when they were young, he worried about them after the Fall, and he still worries about them now (even if he's less open about it).

But a part of him knows that his brothers can handle their own, at least to varying degrees. The MC, though? He's far less sure…

They've proven rather resilient, but also headstrong and reckless. Neither of which are good things to be in a place this dangerous...

If Lucifer isn't careful, he can catch himself staring at a wall or window just wondering where they are and if they're doing alright… If he called them every time he had a passing worry, their inbox would be full by the end each week.

He holds himself back because he doesn't have the time to constantly protect them, but that doesn't stop him from sending a text once or twice a day. They better respond or he'll start (secretly) panicking.

Mammon

He forgets their mortality from time to time, but every time he remembers it hits like a ton of bricks…

Mammon is a pretty "in-the-moment" person. He doesn't spend a lot of time dwelling on the future, but whenever he does the thought of losing MC always comes back to him again and again.

Like. It's gotta happen eventually, right? They're human, humans die, hell they don't even live that long to start with!

The MC can always tell when Mammon's getting worried because he'll get uncharacteristically quiet and pace around or hover by them…

Every little injury or strenuous task will suddenly seem like too much to him as well. 

If they need to carry some boxes, he'll carry them all.

If they have to jog to class, he's carrying them. 

If they so much as get a papercut, he'll have a heart attack.

It's not very hard to get Mammon out of these funks - he really does want them to reassure him that they're okay - but he's never going to get fully over it…

Not until he can steal whatever top secret immortality formula Solomon must have used anyway… He'll get it off that bastard eventually.

Leviathan

Thinks about it so often he has to actively try not to just to get any peace…

He dodges his fears for MC like a protagonist dodges lasting consequences. Every time he feels one creeping up, he's always got a distraction waiting…

"Hey where's MC at? I hope they didn't fall into the riv-OH HEY CHECK OUT THIS NEW GAME!!"

"What are they doing over there…? That looks hard, what if they bre-WAIT DIDN'T MY FAVORITE VOICE ACTOR JUST RELEASE A NEW PODCAST???"

"What if the MC dies tomorrow and they leave me all alo-DEVIL FIGHT 200! YOU CAN'T BEAT DEVIL FIGHT 200, LET’S BREAK MY HIGH SCORE!!"

Cut him some slack, his psyche cannot handle the idea of losing them on top of everything else he grapples with every day.

If, on the rare occasion, he does let himself fall down that rabbit hole he becomes extra clingy and practically begs MC not to leave his room… like ever. He'd bubble wrap them if he could.

Anytime they get really hurt or really sick he refuses to leave their side even if it means he has to awkwardly sit on the floor. He just needs to be able to glance at them every so often to be sure they're alive… Still breathing?? Phew…

Satan

He worries, preps, rationalizes, then worries again…

For Satan, knowledge is power and every scrap of information he can learn about MC is more power he can use to keep them safe and healthy.

Yes, he will want their medical history. Yes, he's going to need a list of prescriptions. Family members too. And no, you do not get a choice.

He'll read up on as many things as he can - pawn medical journals off of witches and get magical alternatives from Solomon.

The cycle usually goes: 

1. He's lying awake at night because he just heard about some terrible bacteria that makes human's skin peel off or something.

2. He does all the research he can on this bacteria, its treatment options, best prevention methods, etc.

3. Gets right about to break out the rubber booties for MC to wear around, then realizes they have a very slim chance of catching said bacteria since it's only native to incredibly remote parts of Indonesia.

4. Feels instant relief that MC will probably not catch flesh-eating bacteria and can finally sleep again…

5. Hears of some other human medical horror from Solomon and starts to worry…

It's a vicious cycle indeed… But at least he's getting a lot of medical training. Soon enough he'll be the Devildom's version of a human vet (which I guess is just a doctor, come to think of it. 🤔)

Asmodeus 

Lives so "here-and-now" that he doesn't remember often, but when he does it's always heartbreaking…

Asmo usually tries to worry about things as little as possible. It’s bad for the skin, you know? But when the MC is involved, all of that goes out the window.

Like how a delicate blossom eventually wilts in the snow, the MC is bound to leave them in time… Usually there's supposed to be something beautiful in that kind of tragedy, but perhaps he's just too close to them to find any romance in it.

The thought of their death gives him breakouts and anytime they get hurt or sick he's the first brother to offer them comfort. Every time.

Because he doesn't feel like he's as physically strong as he brothers, he tries to make up for it by minding their health in other ways. Anything to keep his MC strong and beautiful as always!

If Asmo is in a worrying mood, then he may also compensate by trying to take the MC out to a party or some fun event. Why sit around worrying by himself when he could be making memories with them now, right?

Beelzebub

It comes in waves, mostly at night.

When your thoughts throughout the day are mostly, "I wish I wasn't so hungry," it doesn't afford you a lot of time to think about much else.

In a way, it's a good thing since he experiences a lot less stress. But those worries are still there and they mostly plague his dreams…

Beel doesn’t feel hungry when he's sleeping, so a lot of his fears will make themselves known overnight. An injured or dying MC is often in his rotation of nightmares though, of course, he'd rather it not be…

After having one of these dreams, his first instinct is to always make sure the MC is okay. If they're with him, he'll hug them and check their heartbeat. If they're somewhere else, he'll go to them or shoot a text.

He has woken up without realizing his nightmare was all a dream though, and usually it's up to Belphie or MC themselves to console him while he cries… It's so heartbreaking, sweet boy just puts a lot of pressure on himself to be sure they're safe…

When he worries, it's like they're the most beautiful and expensive China set in a room full of bulls and hammers. If he could tape them to his side, he probably would. He gets scared for them that much…

Belphegor 

More scared about it than anyone else in the House.

Despite his calm demeanor, Belphie is truly afraid of losing his loved ones beneath the surface… He's already lost one of his most dear siblings before, going through that again may just break him.

Unfortunately, he's also felt just how fragile the MC is firsthand... He's not even the strongest of his brothers, yet he was able to snuff them out so easily… Who's to say someone else won't try?

Like Beel, MC's death is a recurring nightmare for him but he can usually shake off his dreams fairly well, if not change them mid-sleep. More scary is when something is actually wrong with them or they're not feeling well.

Belphie always sets his inner laziness aside for the MC when he can. If they get sick, he'll usually be right along with his family to take care of them - even if he has to skip school to do so (not that he cares about class anyway).

When he's worrying about them, he tries to play it off at first, but soon enough they'll notice him acting overly concerned and losing sleep… Best to calm him down before he starts getting cranky.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons

[imaginationlover101]

Runaway Bride

Tommy Shelby imagine

Summary: Being best friends with the Shebly family means making many sacrifices throughout your life. Unfortunately for you the sacrifice that was made now is a little different.

Inspired by one of my favorites "Runaway Bride"

♡------------------♡-------------------♡-----------------♡

One of the consequences that came with being family friends with the Shelbys, was the favors that were made. Being family friends with the Shebly clan and living next door to each other made it very easy to become involved in the Shelby company. From a young age I could remember playing with Ada while both of our family's would talk business, and now instead of sitting and playing with Ada, here I am becoming part of a deal.

It all started about a month ago when Tommy had a new business opponent who happend to have a son named Domenick. Who coincidently was looking to find a wife, and of course Arthur had to put his big mouth in about little ole me. Then of course John, Arthur, and Tommy decided that if Dom and I were to ever wed the feud that once went on between the two companies would end. You can only imagine how much fighting there was at the dinner table that night.

From the minute Tommy brought up the word weding eveything went out the window. From Pollys contents curses at the boys to Adas very loud screaming, I was the only one who remained quiet for my mind was on a train that kept going and going.

After about an 20 minutes the loudness suddenly stopped and the heads were turned toward me. Only then I was in complety shock and the started to scream at the boys.

It finally came to the decision that I would met with this Dom boy and see is he was a decent man. I had to admit I was looking for a parneter but definitely not this way. If I truly liked this boy I would go on with marriage, and if not marriage still with a divorce slowly after, or so I thought.

After meeting Domenick for the first time things were not how I quite expected. He was much nicer that I thought and more respectable than any guy I've ever met. He was smart, witty and not to mention incredibly handsome. But there was just one thing that didn't seem right. One thing that in the back of my head pocked out and wouldnt stop itching. And that itch was named Thomas Shelby.

But the show still went on. From the amazing propasale on the top of a valley. To the gorgeous ginormous engagement ring, the beautiful dress and the church that was finally found. Everything was soonly coming into plan. I would of never thought that this would be the outcome of how I would be getting married but here I am. The day of my wedding standing in front of the mirror panicking.

The past 2 days had started off great. I had made my departure with Domenick 2 days ago because according to old legends it was bad luck to see your bride. So to the old traditions that I so blindly listen to we remained almost unknown to each other.

For 2 whole days before my wedding the boys would go to the farm house and the girls and I would be staying in the city. Besides from the broken heels and the many Martinis that were being passed out through and the nights something didnt seem right. It took quite some time, but Polly ended up being that missing piece.

Whenever anyone ever has a problem, or a vison they go to Polly. But it only ever rare for Polly to come to us. So you could only see the shock on my face when I knew something was wrong when Polly woke up looking in almost fear this moring.

I hadn't fully found out what bad happend to Polly until this moring when Ada came up to me and asked me if Polly told her the vison. Ada already knew she was too late and had to admit what the vison was of I would keep pestering her all afternoon.

Supposedly last night Polly have had a dream that instead of Donenick and I getting married it was me and Tommy, and Dom didnt love me. Well I could definitely say that the news really shocked me, and now I was re thinking everything.

So flashback to now my beautiful wedding day, where the weather and the sun were shinning so brightly and the clouds were evenly parted. Except for the fact that I could be creating a black hole in the sky If i would keep on walking back and forth. How could I possibly marry Domenick now? Did he ever really love me? Was it all a game? Do I even love him?

The endless questions kept me running as I thought of all the possible things that were going wrong, and I knew there was only one family who could stop it. "Ada call for an emergency family meeting now!"

After the 10 minutes of nervously pacing I was faced with the people who I was most scared to talk to. "What was the point of this meeting?" Linda said looking around questionably. "No one asked you Linda did they?" Polly shut her down rather quickly while rolling her eyes.

Just the scene its shelf scared you a bit, which was suprsing seeing as you've done much worse than have a meeting with a family that was close to you almost all your life. The sight of Thomas sitting head at the short squared table rolling a cigar through his mouth, while Arthur rolled his eyes at Polly for insulting his wife. The sight of John looking off into the air just wondering when he could start drinking, Ada, Polly, my mother, and father all sitting in suspense waiting for my next move. But even though the white fuzzy robe I was wearing felt like it was suffocating me, nothing compared to the nerves I was feeling at this moment.

"I cant marry Domenick!" I hastily said fast trying to get the words out of my mouth quickly. Father gets out of his chair faster than light and looks at me. "What do you mean you cant marry him?" "I'm sorry but I cant marry the man who doesnt love me and try to look at him the same?"

"I hate to break it to you but you ARE marrying Domenick Y/N L/N, I dont care if we have to drag you we made a deal with this man." I definitely suspected a diffrent awnser then the one I got, but as weird as it sounds I could almost see a sigh of relive go through Thomas face.

Before I could argue anymore Finn came reusing through the door. "It almost time, the guest are getting impatient." Finn said rushing out of breath. "Alright boys I think that was enough for now, why dont you let Y/N finish." Somehow my mom always knew how to take care of things. "That didn't include you Tommy." The girls all said looking at each other. "Say girls how bout we see how the church looks." Then with those words everyone was gone, leaving me with the one person who I was most scared to face.

"I dont want to go through with this Tommy it isnt fair." I looked at him whispering. "I know I made a deal but if he doesnt love me and made our love out of lies what's the point." I gazed out the window looking at sun finally making its way through the clouds. I was almost waiting for him to say no, to confess his undying love for me and for everything to be alright but it never came. He just stood there looking at me with his big blue eyes in wonder, about to open his mouth until nothing came out.

It felt like a while eternity had gone by before either of of us had said anything. The only sound that could be heard was the church bells and laughter coming from the outside. Fiddling with with the bracelet I had on, Tommy took out a cigarette and began to sigh.

Scolding him for the smoke smell that began to spread through the room he looked at me with a different face then before. One that screamed the cold business man, not the soft Tommy I've had always known.

Standing up from his seat Tommy begins to come closer near me making the window seat I was sitting on alot smaller then before. Exhaling the smoke from out of mouth his mouth he sighs deciding on what to say. "From a business view I would say get on with the wedding. Hes a rich man who would make you very happy and if all goes down bad you could think about it differently in a few months."

Looking at the clock that sat above us I knew that the conversation that Tommy and I were having would be interrupted in quite some time. Speaking up from my state I look at Tommy once again. "Yes, but what do you think from a Tommy view?"

"Well from a Tommy point of view-" Thomas says taking the piece of hair away from my face, "I think you should run." Thomas looks at me questioning what I was going to say next. "Well I get that Tommy but what would happen after I run, what would I do next?" Smiling with the smirk I haven't seen in quite some time Thomas looked as me and smiles. "Well that's simple darling you'd be with me."

♡------------------♡-------------------♡-----------------♡

From those few words it was safe to say that Y/N and Domenicks Wedding was rather shorter then most expected. After the talk between Thomas and Y/N, Finn came into the bridal rom to say how the guest were waiting and the rest was history. From the minute the music for the bride started instead of walking to Domenick down the aisle Y/N made a detour to the nearest exit of the church. Only to run into the infamous getaway car that belonged to the only and only Thomas Shleby.

It didnt take long for all the guest to notice the two most important people to be missing, and it took quite some time for Polly to fix the pieces that the two adults made.

Placing her hand out the window, Y/N was already in love with the new ring on her finger. The simple gold band was much more preferred then the shiny diamonds that held no love with it. Looking towards the drives seat Y/N was finally happy to see who she'd be with for the rest of her life, and as long as it was Thomas Shelby she would be okay.

#tommy shelby imagine #love #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby imagines #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby #ada shelby #finn shelby #polly grey #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders #runaway bride

[yyxgin]

lee felix’s guide to hating you

— ♡ FIC BANNER MADE BY THE AMAZING @chogiwow !!

pairing: lee felix x fem!reader genre: college au, tutor au ; fluff, angst, slice of life, slow burn word count: 21 k warnings: mentions of alcohol, mention of weed, swearing, bad family relationships

a/n: this story is very briefly inspired by jaemin’s drama ‘the way i hate you’ :) also this idea has been in my mind for such a long time, so i’m happy i finally managed to write it. this is also my longest fic so far, i hope it’s worth it. uhh yea enjoy <3

taglist: @feyregels​ @missskzbiased​ @hyunyin​ @koishua​ @crispy-chan​ @rindomo​ @soulssung​ @thatrandomoneinthecorner​ @90shermione​ @chogiwow​ @creatichee​ @freckledberries​ @hyunnies-stars​ 

There’s a list of things Lee Felix knew before applying for college-- and that is: 1) he really, desperately needs a degree for his grandparents to value him as an equal adult, 2) college in young adult movies seems like fun and partying and alcohol really does sound like his wettest dream, 3) he doesn’t need to work for another 4 years, which is fun and 5) he is really, horribly bad at studying.

Here’s a list of things Lee Felix, however, did not know before applying for college, and even though it’s fairly shorter, it hits you in the guts deeper, and that is: 1) studying for college means never ending chapters of insomnia and 2) he is always going to feel like the second choice for everyone. 

You see, girls don’t like Felix that much. Well, that’s a lie-- girls do go after him, tell him he’s cute and his freckles are adorable, but that’s only after they find out there’s no use in chasing after his best friend Han Jisung when he gets himself a new significant other. Boys don’t go after Felix either. Why, you may ask? Read the paragraph over again-- just change the word girls to the word boys. It’s as simple as that. He’s always the second choice, the back-up plan. It feels silly to drag his grandma into this, really, but the truth is, he’s a second choice in every aspect of his life, and that, too, includes his big (and still growing) family that treats him as something less than a human just because of the fact that his grades aren’t as good as his cousin’s are and he doesn’t have a degree in biological science, although he’s too young for that and his college years only started. It’s hard, living in his shoes.

What is Felix, however, really good at? 

Cheating.

Yeah, well, you see-- it’s not funny to be the outcast of the smart Lee family and it’s also not enetaining in the slightest to be the only single one at family gatherings (read as: weddings, because every single one of his relatives decided to fuck up their life with marriage in the past three years for some unknown reason). So Felix does what he’s the best at, and that is going by his favorite life motto: fake it ‘til you make it. 

He cheats on every single one of his exams and believe me when I tell you he’s the top of the class just because he’s the best cheater in town. Good cheating techniques equal good grades and suddenly, Felix’s life seems much brighter when he spends his sleepless nights with creating cheat sheets instead of studying and copying essays written in korean, translating them to english and submitting them as his own because no one will ever notice-- his degree is within the reach of his hand and he can already feel all the grandmas of the family clapping in joy, maybe even wiping away a stray tear on his graduation ceremony in a few years with bouquets of flowers in their hands and expensive watches in their gift bags, ready to welcome him back into the family.. 

What he doesn’t expect, though, is the cute little saying of ‘every lie has short legs’ he swears he heard sometimes in his linguistic class before, coming to life right in front of his eyes as the professor of his Biology class makes him the assigned tutor of the sweet Y/N Y/L/N, because, well, he clearly doesn’t know anything-- what’s he supposed to tutor now? 

The best cheating techniques?

The freckled boy sitting in front of you looks at you with furrowed brows and you wonder what’s the matter with him. Is there something on your face? Are you not dressed appropriately for the occasion? I mean, it’s only a tutoring session, so you didn’t put that much effort into it, but judging from the casual outfit enveloping his body, he didn’t really try to look fancy either. So what was it with him that made him stare you down as if you had horns on your head?

“Shall we start?” he asks once he’s done staring, voice sounding determined. You wonder if he sees the hints of nervousness on your face and if he notices the way you shrink in your seat in the mention of biology, but you guess he doesn’t know you that well to know that you fear the subject as much as you fear dying. 

“Yeah, sure,” you nod, scooting closer to the edge of your seat so you’re not so far away from the table. Felix-- your new biology tutor-- is sitting opposite of you and it’s quite difficult to read the text book once it’s upside down, but you don’t dare to mention it to him for a reason that’s unknown to you as well. It’s like you don’t want to overstep any invisible boundary on your first tutoring session, and telling the person that is teaching you to turn around the text book so you can actually see and learn something seems to be one of the taboos in your eyes. 

You take a quick glance at the waiter that just stopped next to your booth and smile, opening up your mouth to order yourself a meal. “Can I get you anything else?” she asks.

“No-” Felix offers her with a shy smile, but you cut him off with a voice a little higher in the octaves, not wanting your tutor coming in between you and reaching your biggest goal you’ve set for yourself.

“Actually, yes. Could I please get the chicken wings? With fries?” you ask, trying to look as innocent as you can, smiling at her in politeness. You ignore the confused look Lee Felix is offering you from the other side of the table. You mentally send him a signal to tell him to mind his own business, watching the waitress leave with a nod and a polite smile. 

“Okay, now we can start,” you nod at him and focus all your attention to the boy with sandy hair in front of you.

“O...kay?” he answers, obviously trying to bat away his rising confusion, because ordering yourself chicken wings on your tutoring session is prohibited now, apparently. “So,” he starts, sighing and scratching the back of his neck, “what do you not understand from this section?” 

You nervously chew on the bottom of your lip. Well, that’s a sweet question, you think. It would have been much sweeter and much easier to answer, though, if you understood at least a bit from the things you’re supposed to know. You went to university with the urge to prove something to yourself, but the only thing you’re proving to yourself right now is the fact that you are actually kind of useless, when it comes to biology.

“Just like the… whole thing, actually,” you nod, trying not to look as defeated as you feel and also trying not to burst out in a manic laugh as you always do when you feel slightly nervous about anything.

“Cool, cool, yeah,” he nods, taking a deep breath in, turning the textbook around and sighing, “I don’t think I can help you with that.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” you ask, confused. 

Lee Felix is the top of the grade. He is the best at biology, he is the best at chemistry, he is the best at his farmacy class. You’re sure he’ll be a fine biochemist in a few years, when his college times are over. Lee Felix is the smartest boy in your biology class and you are, coincidentally, quite the opposite on this spectrum. Which is exactly why your teacher managed to make Felix tutor you in his free time. You weren’t surprised at the fact that the blonde boy agreed to this-- he was quite the sweetheart, really. All the girls in your class fawned upon the way his freckles shined in the sunlight and the way he opened the doors for older professors. He was quite the boy you would want to introduce to your parents. Not quite the one every girl goes after, but the one that you would want to settle down with after your college years are over.

So why is he, the sweet, but also smart boy that agreed to tutor you, now telling you he can’t help you?

“It’s just.. I’m not really good at this section, I mean-”

“Felix, you’re the top of the class. Of course you’re good at this section.” you mumble, gazing deep into his eyes, trying to search for an answer.

“I-” he says and takes a sharp breath in, stopping himself in continuing his train of thought and just opting to shrug, not giving you a proper response either.

You feel like someone just punched you in the gut, and that’s when you realise-- here it is again. Another person that doesn’t believe in you-- another person that needs proving that you really can do it, you just need a little push. You can see it in his eyes that he doesn’t think you’re smart or bright enough to pass the exams, you’re not good enough to get good grades. It’s nothing new to you, but it still haunts you just the same.

“Is it because you know I can’t do it?” you bluntly ask, sighing. 

“No! No, no, I never said that-” he says, almost panicking with the way his hands fly into the air hurriedly, waving them around as if it was meant to calm you down. 

“You’re acting like it, though. I promise I’m not stupid- well, maybe I am, but-”

“You’re not stupid! It’s me! I’m the stupid one here.” he says, effectively silencing you with his words as you stare at him, dumbfounded. He’s joking, right?

“How can you be stupid when you get only the best grades? Felix, if you just don’t want to waste your time here, tell me, but don’t try to hide behind poor excuses.” you roll your eyes, feeling frustrated at the boy’s antics. Does he really think you’re that stupid that you can’t see right through his lies?

“I cheat.”

You blink a few times as if to reset your brain, gazing at him with pure confusion written in your orbs. He cheats? No. That’s a lie. A person as good at biology as Felix can’t cheat. All his exams are on 100% and he never makes any mistakes. He’s the epitome of the smart kid. The little Einstein. The prodigy. There’s no way it’s all cheating.

“No.” you shake your head in disapproval. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying! Look, I genuinely, really want to help you. I really do. The thing is, though, I don’t know how to study. I make cheat sheets and I use them at every exam and every test, that’s why everyone thinks I’m super smart, but that is really not the case,” he shakes his head, staring into your eyes with his wide open in honesty, wanting you-- no,-- needing you to understand. “I would tutor you if I could, really, but I just don’t know how to,” he sighs finally, acting like he’s just given birth or ran a marathon, exhaustion written all over his face.

“So why did you offer to tutor me, then?” you ask.

He takes a moment for himself to collect his thoughts, before he speaks up again. “Well, I didn’t really want to get caught. You see, I would never turn my back to anyone. Really. So I thought I could at least try to learn something? So I could help you? But I failed, as always, so I’m just coming clean in front of you and you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

The moment the last sentence leaves his mouth, you notice the apparent fear in his eyes, realising that he just shared an information with you that nobody really knows. It’s a secret he’s been hiding and keeping from everyone just to appear as the smartest one-- fooling everyone, including you. You feel even more stupid now, under his gaze. You feel played. You came to the tutoring, hoping to finally get a grip, when all you get is a person that is stepping all over the sandcastle of your fragile dreams, kicking every little piece of sand away with his lies. You know you shouldn’t feel so invested in this. You shouldn’t feel so hurt. But somehow, you still do. 

“So you just told me you are lying to everyone and cheating on tests and you want me to keep it a secret from everyone?” you ask in disbelief.

“Yes.” he nods, eyes hopeful. He’s been lying for the last year as if his life was depending on it and now he wants you to do the same-- keep quiet in front of everyone.

“And what do I do when the professor asks me why I’m not getting any better? Huh? Ever thought of that?” you leash out, harshly chewing on your bottom lip in nerves. “I want to pass. And I want to do it fair and square.” you get out in between your teeth.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think of that yet, but-”

“Leave.” you say, looking him sternly into his eyes.

“What do you mean, leave?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore. And you’re clearly not here to teach me anything, so you can just take your things and leave.” you spit out, crossing your hands over your chest.

“You leave, then,” he mutters, looking rather offended. You’re not sure why he’s the one hurt right now, but you guess that’s just how men and their egos are, there’s nothing more under his hurt eyes and shattered self-esteem.

“I ordered food, I’m not leaving.” you calmly respond. Once you say this, you’re reminded of the little quest you made for yourself. Never once did you feel silly for taking it so seriously in front of your other friends, but now, in front of Lee Felix with freckled dusted cheeks, you feel almost invisible as you realise why you even ordered the chicken wings and how you’re going to write a yelp review about them later.

Well, someone has to do it, and if not you, then who will, right? It’s the only valid way to find out who makes the best chicken wings in the town and not even your traitor-tutor is going to stop you now, when your list is only getting shorter and shorter. 

He stares at you for a few moments, dumbfounded, before he sighs and accepts his defeat. “Okay, I’ll just have to text my roommate to pick me up,” he admits.

You nod, just in time the server comes back with your food, offering her a welcoming smile. “Fine. But don’t even think of talking to me from now on. I’m not interested in more lies,” you spit at him, scowling as you take a look at the plate of chicken wings sitting in front of you in their full glory. You sense a very bad review, judging from the way the chicken wings look nothing like wings, rather full on small chickens dipped in oil, but dive in nonetheless. 

“Why do you have to be so dramatic?” he asks, voice coated in disbelief.

“Because I was scammed!” you yell out, mouth full of chicken, not caring a second about the way you might look in the boy’s eyes. Yes, you could have at least swallowed before speaking to him, but did you do it? No. No, you didn’t. 

“Oh come on-”

“Don’t even try arguing with me!” you spit at him-- quite glad that this time, it’s not literal-- and huff out in annoyance, when the door opens and a short boy with a bucket hat on steps into the bistro, the red fabric of the seats of the booths contrasting with his shoes in a way that makes you feel captivated, your eyes refusing to tear themselves away from him. 

The boy is taking quick steps to your booth and you almost choke on your chicken wings as you admire his full glory-- tanned skin and car keys in his hand, but his eyes meet the boy sitting opposite of you and that’s when everything clicks. This is not the boy of your dreams, this is Han Jisung. Your tutor’s best friend and roommate-- also known as the resident heartbreaker. You shouldn’t feel weak in your knees when you look at him, but that’s exactly what happens and you won’t feel ashamed about it. Well, not now, at least. In a few hours when you’re lying in your bed? Maybe. But I’ll tell you then.

“Yo, dude, I texted you like five minutes ago that I’m waiting for you outside, what are you still doing here?” he asks, furrowing his brows at his roommate and slowly moving his eyes to you, scanning you up and down, leaving your heart to do the stupid cartwheel you haven’t felt since, like, middle school. 

“We were in the middle of an argument, so I didn’t hear my phone ring.” Felix answers, glaring at you with spiteful eyes. You almost prepare to kill him with yours, but you focus on wiping the oil from the corner of your mouth and smiling heavenly, trying to look like a lady in front of your new visitor.

“Was Felix being absolutely unbearable again?” he asks you, surprising you with his subtle way of engaging you into the conversation.

You giggle, rolling your eyes slightly. “Yeah. You know him too well, don’t you?”

“Unfortunately,” he admits, looking defeated, when he moves his eyes to Felix, looking rather sulky on the red seat in front of you as you chat with his roommate, when Jisung’s tone of voice changes into a more worried one, speaking up again, “does she… did you…?”

“Yeah,” Felix just nods. 

Jisung sighs, sitting down next to his roommate, pushing him a little so he has more space in the booth. “What are you supposed to tutor her anyway?” he asks.

“Biology,” you mumble sooner than Felix gets the chance to speak up, motioning to the textbook still sitting at the table in front of you. 

The boy takes a look at the papers, his face changing from a focused one to a one more lighter, his eyes scanning the papers with ease. You notice his mouth moving a little as he reads the words under his breath, catching yourself from staring when you feel Felix’s eyes burning into the crown of your head, snapping you back to reality. 

“You know… maybe I could help you with that.” he says, looking like a business offering you a deal that you’re sure involves something illegal. He looks like a focused squirrel with his cheeks puffed out a little in what you sense is pride, something in his eyes glowing as you nervously chew on your bottom lip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m actually quite good at biology, to be honest. Well, not as much as Felix over here-” he jokes, scowling when the blonde boy punches his arm, “but I think I could tutor you a thing or two.”

“What’s the catch?” you ask, nervously watching him. Something in his composure is telling you he’ll want something in return, but you don’t know what yet. You’re quite sure you’ll sell your soul for the adorable boy in front of you if he asked you to, but it never hurts to ask beforehand, right? 

“What do you mean, what’s the catch?”

“Like… what do you want in return?” you muse out, taking a bite of a fry, noticing how soggy it feels under your teeth.

“Woah, you spend 15 minutes with Felix and you already think there’s something illegal behind everything? I’ll let you know, I’m better than that.” he scoffs. “I’m just doing it because I see how miserable you are. And I also don’t want you to tell on my buddie over here.” he adds, smiling warmly.

You take notice of the way Felix’s eyes grow twice their size and how Jisung’s knee lightly bumps into his under the table. It’s subtle, but you think that maybe this is when you fully fell for the short boy in front of you-- when he offered to save his best friend’s ass by helping out a lost girl with biology. And who are you to say no now? I mean, you need the tutoring nonetheless. Who cares if the boy tutoring you is someone else? Maybe it’s even more appealing to you this way, but you’ll never admit that out loud.

“Okay then, sure.” you nod, grinning from ear to ear, feeling satisfied.

“Great. Now, give me half the fries and we can arrange our next tutoring session,” he smiles, “oh, and I’m Han Jisung, by the way.”

He winks. 

You should be disturbed, but strangely, you’re not. You grin back at him, offering him the soggy fries you’re sure you’re going to give a really bad review in the evening, watching his composure change into a more laid-back one, engaging you in a conversation and slunging an arm around his best friend’s shoulders.

Lee Felix remains silent. He feels it once again-- he feels the loneliness of being left out. 

And he’s sure it won’t be the last time.

Lee Felix knows damn well how it feels to be the third wheel. He’s hung out with Jisung and his potential love interests multiple times, he’s even been on double dates with the said male, yet, he always somehow ends up being left out. So why does it still feel the same? Why does he still feel that restless feeling in his stomach, the emptiness in his chest, just like the first time? I guess you never get used to some things and emotions are one of them. No matter how much you argue that you know a feeling so well it doesn’t even surprise you anymore, it still hurts the same. That’s funny about emotions. Sometimes, they can’t even make you numb.

“Hurry up dude, the bistro closes in an hour and half!” Jisung rushes the taller male (not tall, just taller. Don’t misunderstand.) with his car keys in his hand, twirling them around his fingers in a nervous manner. Felix notices his roommate has put some effort into his outfit today, considering the lemon supreme shirt enveloping his body that he saves only for special occasions, yet, Felix doesn’t realise why he had to put it on when they’re literally just going out to eat some soggy fries in the bistro close to their house. He doesn’t ask, though. He doesn’t want the car key stuck in his forehead. He also doesn’t know why they have to rush so much, since they have an hour and half left before they close, but again, he doesn’t dare to say it out loud. 

Felix quickly puts his shoes on and rolls his eyes at his roommate. “I’m ready,” he announces.

Jisung swiftly takes a bottle of cologne from the table in their small hall (it’s so small they don’t even have a mirror in it, because there was no use in taking mirror selfies when all you can see on the picture is your phone case due to the fact that the room is too narrow for you to move further away) and sprays his body wit hit, efficiently confusing his roommate. “You wanna smell great for the waiter there? Because from what I remember, he was a stoner-”

“Oh, shut up. You never know when you’re gonna meet someone cute, am I right?” he asks, grinning from ear to ear like a cat, taking his backpack with him and opening the front door, “gotta look and smell presentable at all times.”

Felix wonders if this is why everyone always goes after his best friend. 

No, he thinks, it cannot be the cloud of cologne hanging around his body. It’s heavy and it makes Felix cough a little, but he tries to mask it, because he’s fairly sure Jisung won’t pay for his fries today if he doesn’t. And Felix is a simple man-- if he can get something for free, he will do anything to achieve it.

They arrive at the place in a few minutes and Felix can already feel his mouth watering at the thought of the salty fries and cheeseburger he’s going to get himself, joyfully skipping inside the bistro and waiting in the queue. Jisung follows him, standing next to him, efficiently covering the smell of the oil and all the good things on this earth-- read as fast food-- making Felix scowl. The boy behind the register, is, in fact, Na Jaemin-- the resident frat boy. Felix’s heard all about him from the girls staying at the dorms and to be honest, he’s quite glad he doesn’t have to live the stories of getting caught with weed at Jaemin's party on his own. That, and the fact that hot water runs in his apartment. Na Jemin might have the weed, but he surely doesn’t have that in his college dorm room. 

“Three milkshakes, two large fries, chicken wings and a cheeseburger, please.” Jisung orders, confusing Felix in one sentence. Since when is his best friend a bottomless pot for food? Is he really going to eat all of that?

“Coming right at you. Anything else?” Jaemin asks, voice considerate and polite, still turned on his customer service mode, even though Felix is sure him and Jisung have had shared a joint or two on one of his parties before.

“No, that’s all. Thanks, man,” Jisung answers, leaving with Felix right behind him. 

“Who’s gonna eat all of that? I hope you know you’re paying, and before you protest, yes, I did purposefully leave my wallet at home-” he rambles, still moving, when his train of thought is cut off by a person in his view.

You are sitting there in your full glory, smiling brightly at the boys approaching you. You’re dressed nicely, he notices-- you look like you put some effort into what you’re wearing. You don’t look that much different, but he can still see the slight changes you made to look neat. You’re glowing, Felix notices. You look excited.

“Hi, Y/N,” Jisung greets, taking a seat opposite of you. He doesn’t even give Felix an answer, he doesn’t even give him an explanation. He’s left there only to take a seat next to his roommate after collecting his thoughts, chewing on his bottom lip.

The conversation never moves his way. He is silenced. Felix wonders why he was even invited, watching the people behind the window laughing with their friends, happy to order some tasty food and have fun on this Thursday evening. He watches his friend and his classmate have fun-- well, as much fun as a tutoring session could be. You’re laughing at every single one of Jisung’s jokes and he swears Jisung’s eyes never leave your face, even when he’s explaining something to you. He wonders why Jisung didn’t tell him where they’re going. He wonders why he even had to come.

Lee Felix knows how third-wheeling feels. Yet, it still makes his little foolish heart hurt just the same every time.

You nervously chew on your bottom lip, cracking your knuckles in a habit your friends always scream at you for, waiting for your tutor-- well, he’s not really your tutor anymore-- to appear in the bistro on the other side of the town. You admire the decorations for a while, liking the way it looks modern here and the purple led lights make the whole place look aesthetic. You can already imagine multiple college kids going here and taking instagram pictures to look cool. It’s nice and you’ll definitely include it in your yelp review-- it won’t make it more stars, though, if the chicken wings don’t taste like heaven.

You tug on the sleeves on your hoodie, as if you were trying to make yourself disappear. I mean, you do feel embarrassing. You feel pathetic that it had to come down to this, but you guess desperate times call for desperate solutions. You’re not here to look put-together anymore. You’re going to show him your full glory and although you regret it a little, you still have a little spark of hope in you that Han Jisung-- the boy you, admittedly, were crashing on real hard right now, won’t find out.

Felix comes into the bistro in his full VSCO boy glory, as always. He is wearing a jean jacket and his freckled cheeks are dusted pink, you’d almost think he’s blushing all the time. He doesn’t quite fit the aesthetics of this futuristic looking bistro, you notice. The retro places you’ve been to so far fit him much more-- his sandy hair contrasted well with the yellow walls and red booths. It was starting to get a little repetitive, though, you must admit.

“Hi,” he greets you as he takes his seat, smiling at you with what you can only describe as a feeling of full uncomfort. You wonder what made him feel this way about you, but you don’t dare to think of it twice as you focus on the main quest of the day-- forcing him to teach you his ways.

“Hello,” you smile. 

Felix notices how natural you look-- it feels like now is the first time he’s seeing you in your full glory. You aren’t wearing your neat clothes for a meeting with Jisung and you’re not too casual like you were at your first ‘tutoring session’ either-- you’re just you. The way he doesn’t even see you in classes. He likes the fact that no one else than him can see you like this-- he likes the fact that Jisung is nowhere around, yet, he wonders why is that, exactly, since the two of you seemed to be hitting it off quite well so far.

Felix hasn’t been with Jisung when he last tutored you. He figured there’s no use, he’s going to get ignored all the time anyway. 

“So… what’s the matter?” he asks, folding his hands into his lap. He dares to take a quick look at you, noticing your worn-out shirt and dark circles under your eyes, worry washing over him. Did something happen? Was Jisung a jerk to you? 

“Well, I sort-of have a little problem,” you mumble out, tearing your gaze away from him. You seem shy for the first time in front of him and he wonders why. He doesn’t understand your sudden change of behaviour. This isn’t the you he’s used to. “Well, turns out, I am really stupid.” you propose, leaving Felix to gaze at you in surprise.

He chuckles. You swiftly look up at him with piercing eyes telling him to stop, and he almost does, but your face looks too adorable when it’s scrunched up like that, so he only giggles once more. “You’re not stupid.”

“I am!” you whine out, finally letting your whole shy facade fall, exposing the true you once again right in front of Felix’s eyes-- direct and fierceful. “Even Jisung’s tutoring isn’t helping and I feel so stupid with him! And I don’t want him to think that I’m stupid, even though I am, and I just… I can’t pass my exams like this, so I need your help.” you say, eyes big, looking almost pleading.

“And I am supposed to help… how? Exactly?” The confusion is written all over his face, and it almost makes you frustrated. You knew he must be smart, if his cheating has been so good he’s getting through college with straight As, but really, is he really that smart if he can’t read in between the lines?

“Help me cheat.” you quickly get out, biting down on your lower lip just as you say it, as if you were regretting it.

The silence that overtakes the two of you feels like it’s slowly going to eat you up alive, angrily biting into your skin. It feels heavy and suffocating, your palms sweating as you watch Felix blink at you with mouth agape, breathing in and out. You pray for him to make up his mind soon, or else you’re going to run out of the bistro without a yelp review, tearing the skin of your cuticles as you see him blink quickly a few times before shaking his head in disbelief, clearing his storage.

“You want me to help you cheat?” he asks for clarification, furrowing his brows at you.

“That’s correct.” you nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. You haven’t been this nervous since you took your college entrance exams, and that shows a lot, considering you used to say that has been the most difficult experience of your life so far.

“Because Jisung…. isn’t tutoring you well enough?” he asks again, making you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Hey, don’t put the blame on Jisung! I’m just stupid, that’s all.” you say, looking down into your lap, because his gaze suddenly feels like he’s judging you and you really don’t feel like maintaining eye contact with him when you’re under pressure.

“If you don’t stop saying that, I will kick you.”

“You wouldn’t dare-”

“I would and I will-”

“Okay, but is that a yes, then?” you look up at him with hopeful eyes, resembling a puppy just a little too much, and, well, Felix can’t just reject you now, can he?

“I.. guess…?” he says, watching your face light up in joy as you clap a few times in excitement. 

“Great! Can we start today? We have to start today! I brought my text books and papers and sharpies and-” you are cut off by Felix’s face lighting up at the sight of you, his eyes looking warm and admiring. You quickly shake away the excitement before it goes too far and you actually go to hug him or something, taking a deep breath in and out to calm yourself down.

Just in that moment, the server appears with two servings of chicken wings and two large fries, making Felix look at you in confusion. 

“I ordered you food, since I thought we’ll stick around for a while..” you mumble, seeing him eagerly nod and take one fry into his hand, biting down on it with a face full of pleasure. 

“Perfect. Just let me eat a few of these and we can get right into work, I promise,” he mutters with a mouth full of food, prompting you to take a bite yourself. It doesn’t taste the worst-- the bistro you went to after prom last year was definitely worse than this, but still, you don’t think Felix’s face quite resembles how the food tastes. He looks as if the Queen of England made it. In reality, it’s just a soggy fry. 

“Why do you always order the same thing? Aren’t you tired of eating the same thing over and over again?” he asks suddenly, examining your face with real interest. No one’s ever noticed your eating habits before, just shrugging off what you order every single time. Your little fast food experiment has been a secret so far, even though it wasn’t that hard to cover it up-- nobody really cared until now. 

You feel blush creeping on your cheeks as you shrug, feeling a little embarrassed for like the hundredth time today, when you reply to the boy in front of you. You know his secret, so it only feels valid for him to know yours. “I have this experiment… like, I try chicken wings and fries at every single bistro, restaurant and fast food chain in the town to find out which one’s the best…” you mumble, looking into your plate instead of facing him out of the ugly feeling of patheticness creeping up your back.

“Oh, that’s cool!” he exclaims, pointing his fry your direction, a response you didn’t quite expect, “Where do they have the best ones so far?” he asks, genuine interest painting his features.

“Oh,” you get out, feeling your lips unvoliteraly tug into a smile, “I don’t.. I still have a few bistros and the McDonald’s on the highway out of the city left, but I’d say the best ones so far were at Wendy’s. I didn’t quite like the chicken wings there, though, so…”

“Hmm,” he nods, deep in thought, “we just get food at where’s the closest.” he says, munching on a chicken wing. “I guess we could pay a little more attention to the food from now on, because after eating this, I’m never going to eat the food from the bistro right in front of our flat again.”

“Yeah, that bistro’s really awful. I only gave it around 2.5 stars, I think-” you say, before you realise you just spilled out another secret to him, feeling your cheeks heating up. 

“2.5 stars? What, do you write yelp reviews or something?” he asks, clearly amused by your accidental spill-out.

“And what if I do?” you defend yourself, glaring at him with fake annoyance. No man will ever make fun of you because you write yelp reviews. Not Lee Felix, even though he seems too nice to actually make fun of you because of something, not anyone. 

“That’s cool, though! Those help so much when you travel,” he says, eagerly nodding at you with big eyes and an adorable grin plastered on his face, making you feel understood and happy with just the sudden sign of acceptance. Turns out your little weird obsession isn’t as embarrassing as you thought it was. Or Lee Felix really is the sweetest guy walking on this earth. Either one is fine in your books.

You stay there for a few hours and Felix teaches you the basic cheat codes-- never meet the teacher’s eye, never finish your tests too quickly, always forcefully pick the wrong option before scribbling it out and putting in a correct one to not seem too suspicious. He even takes a piece of paper from you and scribbles down the basic cheat-sheet making structure. 

He feels good with you. He feels useful. He knows he shouldn’t be teaching you this, but really, is it really doing any harm? We all have to go through college somehow.

Yet, all evenings always end the same for Felix, with a bad feeling in his gut and a fake smile on his face hiding the true meaning behind his actions. He’ll never be the first choice and you remind him even today, after you leave the ‘tutoring session’ with a quick hug to the male, lowering your voice so only he can hear when you pay him your goodbyes.

“Don’t tell Jisung, okay?”

Of course. It’s all because you don’t want to look embarrassing in front of his best friend.

It goes all how you planned it to-- you’re sitting at your next tutoring session with two males in front of you. One of them is your supposed tutor and one of them is a boy that’s helping you pass your exams for real. You’re into one of them, even though you shouldn’t. You wonder how you even ended up in this mess. You swear you were a good student in high school, always submitting your assignments on time and making sure your tests were on 100%. It was kind of fueling your ego, in a way. You had no other plans in your life to hold on to, no dreams to dream, so you reasoned to do the only thing that you were good at-- getting good grades. You had to prove to yourself that there was a reason, a meaning behind your life. You had to prove to yourself that your existence was valid.

You watch Jisung with interest. You pray to god that he doesn’t catch you in your act, because that would surely be embarrassing. You don’t want him to find out that you’re just fine with cheating, because that meant your tutoring sessions with the male would end and there was no other reason for you to see him. You knew Han Jisung wasn’t interested in you. You were sure you’d see it on him if he was. And even then, you weren’t interested in only a short relationship without any good point. You liked Jisung, but you didn’t like his reputation. One week wasn’t long enough for you to waste your time on him and get your heart broken. You weren’t sure if he was a player, or if he just wanted to desperately find the one by trying all the possibilities, but you weren’t going to find out. 

Felix watches you with interest in his eyes-- but you don’t notice. He prays that Jisung doesn’t find out about your secret little ‘tutoring sessions’, because that would mean he wouldn’t have a reason to hang out with you anymore. And Felix really doesn’t want that to happen. For some reason, he doesn’t want you to ever frown. And he’s sure that’s exactly what would happen if Jisung cancelled.

It doesn’t click to him what’s happening inside of his little, foolish heart when he sees you smile at Jisung and his stomach fills with worry. 

It doesn’t click to him what’s happening with him when every time Jisung subtly takes your hand in his makes his insides twitch in frustration. He thinks it’s just because of the fact that he’s third-wheeling again, like all his life, and maybe that is partly true, but it’s not the whole reason behind the cloud around his head.

It clicks only when him and his roommate are back home, sitting at the dinner table with the left-overs from the new bistro you three went to, munching on the chicken wings and another pack of soggy french fries and the cola they had in their fridge.

“So… what do you think about Y/N?” Jisung asks suddenly, making Felix furrow his brows in confusion.

“What should I think? She’s smart, I guess…” he mumbles, mouth full of food, not quite grasping the full meaning of his roommate’s question. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jisung quickly nods in approval, “she’s getting really good. I mean, you can still see she’s having some troubles when I’m tutoring her, but at least she always gets good grades on tests now,” he says, biting down on another piece of chicken wing. Felix feels a wave of pride wash over him after hearing the words-- of course you’re doing well on exams. It’s all Felix’s doing. You’re a quick learner, when it comes to cheating. 

“Yeah, she’s good,” he says. 

“Well,” Jisung suddenly starts, meaning to sound nonchalantly, but only sounding like he’s determining his biggest life secret in front of his friend instead, “I like her.”

Felix almost chokes on the piece of chicken in his mouth, trying to play it off with a small chuckle. “Oh? You do?”

“Yeah. Should I.. Should I ask her on a date or something?” he asks and Felix swears he can see his friend’s cheeks reddening a little, even though the last time he’s seen Jisung embarrassed was when he accidentally called their Math’s teacher mum in eleventh grade. 

“You don’t date, though,” Felix opposes.

“That’s not true-”

“Two weeks long relationships aren’t relationships, Jisung.” 

“Not my fault they’re never the one! It gets boring after a while, Felix, I can’t just-”

“Why are you even asking me this?” Felix suddenly cuts him off, glaring at him. He doesn’t know why he’s reacting in such a way. It’s not like it’s the first time Jisung is going to date someone for two weeks just to break their heart, it’s not the first time they’re going to run after Felix a week after just so they can still be around the one that broke their heart. This time, though, he does not want to see another heart get broken.

“Jesus, chill, man… I was just asking, since you two seem closer. Did she mention anything about me? Is she dating anyone?” Jisung asks, eyes lighting up.

Felix could be an asshole. He could tell Jisung that you’re already dating someone, he could tell him to back off and that you’re not interested. However, he does not do that. Instead, he does the quite opposite. He pushes his best friend into asking you out, he tells him he should try it, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Besides, he knows you’re into him. Maybe the smile on your face could make him forget about the fact that you’re going to get your heart broken. 

“Sure, go for it.” he shrugs, “I don’t really care anyway.”

“Fine, then-”

“I’m gonna shower.” Felix says, quickly standing up from his chair and moving to the bathroom, quickly escaping the conversation.

Only then he realises what he feeling in his gut means, only then he notices the way his sigh feels like the weight of the world is sitting on his shoulders and he can’t breathe any time you’re around Han Jisung. 

He realises he likes you. 

And clearly, you don’t like him back.

Emotions are something you never quite get used to. Even the emotion of feeling rejection, the emotion of always being behind his best friend’s shadow. Lee Felix is always just the friend. Never the love interest. This time, though, it feels even more heavy, because in a way, you seem way more special in his eyes than the people that went after him just to get with his best friend.

This time, he does not want to see another heart get broken. Because it’s your heart we’re talking about.

And to prevent his heart shattering to even more pieces, he has to do something.

He has to stop liking you.

As soon as possible.

“Y/N?” 

“Mhhm?” you ask, raising your eyes up from the cheat sheet you’re creating with Felix’s help, the grease of the fries you’re eating glistening on your chin. You’re with him in a yet another crappy bistro, trying yet another soggy fries, and even though there’s nothing special on you to a stranger’s eye, Felix’s heart can’t help but run twice the speed of light. 

“How do you stop liking someone?” he mumbles, furrowing his brows a little, deep in thought. 

“Oh, do you like someone?” you ask, and Felix momentarily lights up at the thought of you caring if he’s interested in someone, but when his eyes meet yours and he notices them glistening and lightening up in curiosity, he realises it’s just because you’re happy for him. As a good friend should be. 

“No, no,” he quickly shakes his head in disapproval, snickering to himself, “I’m just asking. Because, think, what if, hypothetically, there’s someone who is into someone else. Easy, right? But what if their best friend likes the same person? And you know you shouldn’t like them because they’re into their friend as well? What is there to do at that point?” 

You scan his face for a few seconds, thinking to yourself. “Hmm,” you start, “I guess you have to start hating them. So the feelings disappear.” you nod, satisfied with your answer.

“How’s that possible?” he asks, scoffing.

“Well, I don’t know, since it’s all hypothetical anyway,” you giggle, focusing back on your cheat sheet. Your notes are getting smaller and smaller and Felix notices the improvement in your small lettering, making your cheat sheet less noticeable. You’re learning quickly.

“Oh come on,” he whines, kicking your leg under the table, “talk to me. How can a person start hating someone? Give me a tutorial.” 

“Well, since you really need to know,” you roll your eyes, putting away the pen from your hand and resting your back against the seat of the booth, “there are a few steps you can take.”

“For example?”

“Well, you have to stop hanging out with them, first thing’s first.” you start. “Because if you don’t hang out with them, you will eventually hate the fact that they’re not near, which will, logically, make you hate them instead.”

“Is that really logical, though?” Felix asks, furrowing his brows at you. In his books, this made no sense at all, but you seemed pretty satisfied with your answer.

“Of course it is! Then, you have to find something about them that you can hate. Anything. Find even the smallest thing, and blow it up in your mind until you hate it. Easy, right?” 

“...I don’t think that’s helping at all,” he says, tone of voice unsure. 

“Of course it is! You’re just refusing that it can be true, because you think I’m stupid.” you stick out his tongue at him, focusing on your work instead.

He kicks you under the table, making you scowl. “Ow! What was that for?”

“I told you that if you’ll make that comment again, I will kick you. So I just did right that.” he says. “Besides, your ideas are stupid. Not you. There’s a difference in that.” he smartly points out, making you roll your eyes at him.

“So, who is it that you like?”

“No one. I told you, it’s hypothetical.” he glares at you.

“Right,” you nod, sighing, “well, I’ll just stick to that, since that means Jisung doesn’t like anyone and I still have a chance.” you smile at him, obviously missing out on the way your words just punched him into the gut. Felix laughs it out, kicking you in the shin instead.

“Right. Of course you do,” he nods. He wishes he didn’t mean that.

You two remain in silence for a moment, while you get back to your work and Felix pretends he’s playing a game on his phone. You don’t notice the way his eyes scan you over, admiring you, once in a while. No one ever does. He guesses this is the perk of always being just the friend. The one people are friends with just because they want something from him. The one that gets taken advantage of. He chooses not to think about it more. Maybe if he did, he could hate you over it, if he wasn’t so used to that feeling anyway. 

“We should hang out on the weekend,” you say, taking him by surprise.

“Oh?” he mumbles out, “with Jisung?”

“No?” you furrow your brows, “look, I know I look like I’m obsessed with him, but I actually just want to hang out with you alone as friends once in a while, you know.”

“We’re hanging out now, though.”

“It’s midnight, Felix,” you point out, “and we’re working. I want to hang out with my friend, like a normal person, you know.” you shrug.

“Yeah…” he says, when your words resonate in his mind like a broken curse. ‘Don’t hang out with them.’ Don’t hang out with her. You have to hate her. He has to start hating you-- there’s no other way. And so, he turns to taking your words into consideration. He can’t meet with you if he’s not ‘tutoring’ you. There’s no way. “We’ll see. I’ll tell you if I’m free.” he smiles warmly instead, because truth be told, he’ll never tell you no to your eyes. He’s always been a bit of a coward. And he also doesn’t want you to frown. Ever.

“Great!” you smile. 

And when Felix comes home that night, at 2am in the morning when his roommate is already asleep-- not knowing of your secret meetings, he lays down in his bed and repeats your advice like a broken mantra. He can’t like you. He has to hate you.

Lee Felix’s guide to hating you: 1. Don’t hang out with her. Only meet her when it’s necessary. If you don’t meet her, you’ll start hating her absence, resulting in hating her altogether. 2. Find a small thing about her to blow up so much you start to hate it. 

That’s not difficult. He hates that you like Han Jisung. It’s a small mistake, a small flaw, but he’s ready to blow it up so much he hates you for it. He hates that he’s not the first choice. He hates that you don’t like him.

Maybe he would hate you more if you were dating his best friend for real.

Lee Felix’s guide to hating you: 1. Don’t hang out with her. 2. Find a thing to hate about her. SUCCESS! 3. Set her up with Han Jisung.

Now, this plan is bulletproof, isn’t it?

Felix unexpectedly breaks the first step of his guide only a few days later-- on a chilly friday afternoon, when his body is hurriedly skipping to the edge of the town centre only to meet with you. Just for the record, though, Felix didn’t intend to break the promise he gave to himself. He really wasn’t going to hang out with you if he didn’t specifically need to, but, well… you called Jisung to hang out. Felix’s heart almost skipped a few beats when he was added to a three-person big group chat with you and his roommate and at that point, he wasn’t going to reject an invitation to the fare in town, because he was fairly sure Jisung didn’t like rollercoasters and he wanted to see you laugh your ass off at him in front of everyone. Is it a little spiteful? Possibly. Does he care? Not that much.

Besides, it’s only one time. It will never happen again!!

He finds you with your black leather jacket on, stepping from one leg to the other, looking around like a lost puppy. Felix mentally curses at himself for not coming sooner so you wouldn’t feel so alone and awkward in the mass of people, when he realises he’s already 15 minutes late because of his afternoon class and his roommate is nowhere to be found.

“Thank god! I thought you were going to bail on me as well,” you call out when Felix is close enough, smiling at him.

“Where’s Jisung?”

“He texted me like 5 minutes ago that he can’t make it today. Something about his mum being in town? I’m not sure,” you furrow your brows, “at least you’re here now, though.”

Felix is met with the realisation that he’s left alone with you again, mentally cursing at himself. This surely does not look like a plan to hating you. It looks like a bullet-proof plan on how to fall even deeper for you, with how your stray hairs are flying around your head and you adorably scrunch up your nose and sniffle from the cold. 

“Should we go?” he forces out of himself, looking at you hopefully.

“Yeah!” you nod, striding a few steps in front of him like a happy school girl excited to go to school for the first time. Felix can’t surpass the gentle smile forming on his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. You look so cheerful and so joyful, making his heart swell with how easily you manage to make him feel so young again. 

He follows you gladly, managing to match his speed with yours, almost forgetting for a moment that he’s not on a date with you, almost forgetting about the fact that you like his best friend and the smile you’re giving him is nothing against the wide grin you offer to his roommate.

“Let’s go on that one!” you cheer, taking Felix by the hand and tugging him your way, not once giving him the opportunity of letting go as you drag him all around the fare. You remind him of his younger sister with how excited you get about the smallest things and he realises he wants to protect your heart from the world just as much as he wants to protect his little sister’s. It’s not the same feeling, though. The affection he feels for you is different. 

Felix doesn’t find it in him to tell you no whenever you tug him on another ride, even when his legs are tired and his jaw hurts from smiling. He finds himself wanting to capture your image into his brain forever, imprint the happy memory in there so he can find it and look at it whenever his heart feels lonely. For the first time in ages, he forgets about everything. He forgets that he’s just the friend, the other choice. He completely forgets that Han Jisung was supposed to be there, at his place, sitting next to you on the ferris wheel as you watch the night city under you with cold cheeks and frozen bodies.

“You must be sad that Jisung isn’t here with you right now. That would surely feel much more romantic than sitting here with me,” Felix says bitterly once the reality hits him for a second, once his heart is unsheltered for a short moment and your eyes meet.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” you roll your eyes, “Jisung can’t be romantic. Besides, if I really wanted a date with him so badly, I wouldn’t have asked you to come with us, would I?” you smile at him, swinging your legs forward and backward, focusing your eyes somewhere into the distance again.

“Well, if you really want to go on a date with him, you can just ask him, you know?” he mumbles, playing with the dead skin on his thumb.

“So he can stand me up and go on a date with his mum again? I don’t know, Felix, is that really worth it?” you giggle, not noticing the way you’re messing with the boy’s head, not noticing the way a small spark of hope lights up somewhere in the deep pits of his stomach when you mention not wanting to ask his best friend out. 

“I don’t know, is it?”

“I’ll have to think about it.” you muse out, and the spark is gone. Of course it’s not that simple. 

Felix just nods and grins at you. The chilly air helps him hide his red cheeks when he thinks of how embarrassing his thoughts must have been in the past quick seconds. He focuses on your face, on the way your eyes crinkle up a little when you stare somewhere far into the distance and your hair flies a little with the breeze. The ferris wheel just reached the top, so he has plenty of time to keep admiring you from so close, but somehow, the moment still feels so short and he wishes he could stop the time. He wishes he could stop the time so he didn’t have to face the reality when he comes down from the ferris wheel. He wishes he didn’t have to see you fall in love with his friend, he wishes he didn’t have to act like he doesn’t care at all. 

“Thanks for helping me, by the way. I wouldn’t have passed my exams if it wasn’t for you and that… that would be really hard on me.” you get out, locking your eyes with his sincerely. He sees your eyes shining even so high above the ground, convincing him the sparkles really must be the stars, when he takes a deep breath in and responds.

“It’s no problem, I get it… I mean, it’s what you gotta do. What we gotta do, when we want to pass. And graduate,” he chuckles. 

Does he really want the degree, though? Or does he just need it to feel like he has some worth? Does he want to graduate or does he just want his parents to value him as an adult, does he really want to continue working so hard on passing or would he just be so much happier if he just dropped out. And saved himself so much stress. He should have known he was never smart enough for college.

“Yeah. I despise the smart kids in our class. I wish I were them,” you scoff, “I despise Jisung, in a way, too,” you add after a dramatic pause.

“Jisung?” Felix furrows his brows.

“Yeah,” you nod, like it’s the clearest thing in the world, “I mean, he’s smart enough to pass. He’s… he’s got his life figured out, in a way. He’s just fine. Getting all the girls and the guys, getting good grades, going on dinner dates with his mum on Fridays,” you giggle, “I mean, I want that. That sounds nice.”

Felix huffs, staring into the distance, “I guess you’re right.” He knows damn well how jealousy feels. 

“I came to college to prove to myself that my life has some worth, but I guess the only thing I prove to myself is that I can’t even pass my exams without help.” you sigh, sounding defeated.

“Hey,” he nudges you a little with his foot, “don’t say that. Life isn’t about grades, degrees and that shit. Of course you have worth and value.” 

He sees you smile in defeat, leaning your head on his shoulder. The feeling of acceptance, pure understanding washes over the two of you, when you gently speak up again. “Try to explain that to my brain.” 

He lightly giggles. “I’m trying, as you can see.”

You look up at him from his shoulder, scrunching up your nose and leaning closer to him, whispering. “It’s not working.” you laugh.

“I know it’s not easy,” he shakes his head, “I’ve been trying to tell that to my family for the past 21 years.” he slips out. Something about you makes him spill out even things he’s never told anyone before, but he finds himself not caring as you approach his eyes with pure serenity mixed with melancholy.

“Is it all because of your parents?” you ask, “the cheating, I mean.”

Felix feels his eyes giving him out, so he chooses not to look at you anymore. “I mean, I would have dropped out long ago if I didn’t have to feel so worthless around my family then. Every single one of my cousins is smart, has a degree and earns a killing. I’m just me-- living from the money I earned over summer, trying not to lose my mind with biology.”

He hears you humming next to him, your head moving as you nod in understatement. The ferris wheel is slowly reaching the bottom again and Felix finds the fact quite relieving. He doesn’t mind having deep talks with you, he just fears he might spill out something both of you don’t want to hear.

“I’m glad you came with me today, Lix.” you smile at him once the two of you reach the bottom, “wanna hear a secret?”

“Spill it out,” he dares you, grinning.

“I only invited Jisung because I thought you didn’t want to hang out with me alone.” you confess, quickly turning around in your spot as you jog a few steps in front of him, carelessly, as if you just didn’t make Felix’s heart stop and insides twitch in excitement. He prays and hopes it’s not just you giving him false hope, he wishes it’s not his mind playing tricks on him. 

“I-” 

“And now that I know you don’t mind being around me, do you wanna go to the dog cafe with me next Wednesday? You know, the one I talked about.” you turn around, flashing him a smile worth a billion dollars, taking him by surprise as his breathing hitches and he doesn’t find it in him to reject you ever again.

“Sure.”

Second step of Lee Felix’s guide to helping you: find a small thing about you he doesn’t like to blow up so much he starts hating you altogether. 

He was so sure that he found the small thing just a few days ago. He thought that the fact that you like his best friend could be enough for him to start hating you. He could sit on that thought for long enough to pick it up to the smallest pieces and over-analyse it to the point he could start hating you. 

And he tries to do just that-- he lies awake at night thinking of how every single person he’s ever been interested in slipped right between his fingers just because of Jisung’s existence. He wonders why he’s never good enough to anyone, why he always has to be the second choice even for tutoring (even though it’s not even tutoring, but we won’t talk about that anymore). He thinks of how you’re so foolish to think your relationship with Jisung is going to last, because Jisung’s feelings never stay the same for long. He over-analyses the smallest things he notices on you when you’re in Jisung’s presence until the point he’s almost sure he can do it, he can hate you for it just a little, in a way, but then, the thought flies right out of the open window as his roommate crashes into his door in the middle of the night.

He startles awake, sitting up at his bed, watching the short male going in with much difficulty, sitting on his bed without a word.

“Jisung?”

“Lixie, I fucked it all up, didn’t I?” Jisung whines, laying down on the bed next to his friend. Felix doesn’t think it’s only due to the late hours of the night that his friend’s words aren’t making any sense, but he doesn’t dare to put his finger on it until he makes sure for himself.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N.”

Your name coming out of his lips hits Felix like a baseball bat, hurting in all the right places, as the young male finds it in him to continue the conversation.

“What about her?”

“She asked us to hang out together. And I didn’t go. I know it wasn’t my fault, because my mum was in the town, but still, I feel so bad, because now it must look like I’m not interested in her and that I don’t care and I really don’t want that, you know?” he stummers, making Felix realise his friend talks a lot when he’s under the influence of alcohol just the same second Jisung’s breath catches in Felix’s nose, only proving his point. 

“You didn’t fuck it up, don’t worry.” he muses. And it’s true. Jisung could never truly fuck it up with anyone. Even his exes always crumble up around his feet, wanting attention even after getting their heart broken. Will it be the same with you?

“She must think I don’t like her. And that’s horrible-that’s- that’s- I like her. Very much,” he whines again, getting closer to Felix and wrapping his arms around the blonde’s torso in a wave of affection that only washes over him when he’s drunk.

“Sung-” he stutters, desperately trying to push him away, but even though Jisung doesn’t look like it, he is a strong individual when it comes to involuntary cuddling. Felix can never escape his arms.

“I think she’s special, you know? She’s like- I can’t explain it. It’s like with her, I actually want to try. I want to ask her on dates and love her and give her my heart, because you know, I never dared to give my heart to anyone. And no one’s ever made me feel truly special before…” he mutters, forcing his nose to Felix’s neck, “I’m rambling too much, aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” Felix sighs, nodding. He doesn’t battle his arms anymore. Jisung is his friend, at the end of the day. He can hold him when he needs it.

“Sorry.” he says shortly, sighing as well. The room falls into silence and Felix’s head spins again, his thoughts spiral like a tornado and the eye of the storm is you-- standing there with that stupid smile on your face and he once again realises that he needs to hate you in order to shelter his own heart, because you’re like a hurricane when it comes a to a person’s emotions.

The fact is, though, he could never hate you for liking his best friend. 

Han Jisung is too likable for his own good. His heart is too big for this world, and truth be told, he’s been sharing it with everyone for such a long time now, he deserves to find someone he’s willing to give his all to. 

He could never hate you for liking Jisung-- the boy who smiles at everyone in the halls, the boy that offered him to live in the flat his parent’s bought for him in freshman year, the boy that helps him hide his cheating secret every day. He could never hate you for liking Jisung, because he himself knows too well how much of a treasure his dear friend is. 

He gets it. He gets why people always choose Jisung over him. He could never blame you.

“Sung?”

“Hmm?”

“Ask Y/N out to the dog cafe on Wednesday. She'll love it.”

Felix could never hate you.

Step three of Felix’s bullet-proof guide to hating you is quite simple and actually the only one he completes with success. Setting you up with Jisung on a date is easier than he ever imagined, considering the fact that his roommate decided to finally take things into his own hands and call you on a date after the drunken weeping episode in Felix’s bed. 

Jisung invites you on a date to the dog café in town. The two of you go on Wednesday and although Felix feels like he just gave his roommate a piece of him, an invitation that was never meant for him in the first place, he feels at ease, because at least one part of his plan is working. He could never hate you, but at least now, it will be easier for him to ignore his growing feelings for you when you spend all your time with Jisung on dates and ice cream runs. He only has to ignore his feelings in school and at your ‘tutoring’ sessions. He wonders how long these will be a secret in front of your new boyfriend. Jisung’s not your boyfriend yet, but Felix can only imagine how short the time he isn’t is going to last. 

Felix does the stupid mistake of opening the instagram app in the evening, when he’s curled up in his bed with an embarrassingly big bowl of popcorn on his bed side table, serving him as his depression food. He sees your post show up, an adorable picture of you from the dog café, a big golden retriever in your lap as you giggle at its face. The picture is candid and looks like the kind Felix would like to keep as his lock screen if he had the chance. He’s sure his best friend took it for you not only from the fact that you went out with him tonight, but also for the fact that he’s tagged in the post’s description with a big blue heart emoji. 

He could stop staring at the picture if he really wanted, he could mute your posts and pretend you never existed to shelter his poor heart. He could do everything in his strength to cut all his ties with you. That would make it so much easier for him, wouldn’t it?

But he doesn't. And maybe he doesn’t even want to-- he’s used to the pain anyway, isn’t he? The bitterness, the feeling of being pushed away, ignored and left forgotten. 

He was supposed to be in Jisung’s place now, but that doesn’t change the simple fact that he isn’t-- maybe it was never his place to claim anyway. 

Felix stares at the picture for minutes, wondering of how things could be if you only didn’t fall for his best friend. Or if he came with you today. Who knows, maybe it wasn’t too late for him to ask you on a date. Maybe he could still change your mind. Felix likes to give up on things too quickly, though, and that is the curse that will follow him his whole life. 

Lee Felix is good at cheating. He is insanely good at it, he would also say it’s the only thing he’s ever been good at. Pretending.

It’s his time to shine again. It’s time to pretend he doesn’t like you, pretend you don’t hurt him, pretend he isn’t in love with his best friend’s crush. He’s been always the best at cheating and now it’s time to cheat his way out of liking you. 

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

“You must be really hungry, if you’re planning to eat all of that in one setting,” Felix mumbles, watching you as you eat yet another plate of chicken wings in yet another pointless bistro in town. Felix wonders how you even know about all of these, since the one you’re both sitting in right now, in the middle of the night, looks rather lonely. It doesn’t even seem that welcoming-- it has graffiti on the walls and the seats are a little torn on the edges, but you don’t seem to care as you munch on the chicken, eyes big when you stare back at your companion.

“I eat a lot when I’m stressed,” you mutter in between your bites, mouth full. You look natural like this and Felix realises this is you in his mind-- cheeks full of food, that little wrinkle in between your brows when you look at him, eyes staring big into his like a loyal dog. This is how he knows you, in your rawest form, and this is coincidentally, also, how he likes you the most. He loves and treasures every single version of you, but your late-night meetings feel of different kind of intimacy to him that he’s sure he’s going to think of even when he’s old and his college years are dusty like an old polaroid picture.  

“Stressed?” he asks, tone of voice a little more worried than usual. Felix always worries about you. Even when you quietly take out your cheat sheet from under the table and write your answers down. He doesn’t fear being caught-- he frankly doesn’t care that much, but he knows that you are having a battle with yourself and he really doesn’t want you to feel like you lost. He didn’t know it was so easy to put someone else first when you worry for the future. 

“The finals are coming up.” you clarify, the words coming out a little bashful and smitten.

“Oh.” he nods. 

You’re both quiet for a while. It would be cheesy to say the silence was comfortable, and Felix knows, he’s seen enough teenage dramas to know these words are used in situations like this, but the truth is, there’s no other way to describe it, and he understands that now. Your determination shines through all your edges and he’s glad you’re doing what you can with the resources you have. You’re not exactly studying for your Biology finals, but it’s still as hard and as stressful as that. It can feel a little embarrassing at times, but there’s no other way around it. You have to battle your enemy, even if it means the game is not fair.

“And those chicken wings are fucking good, dude,” you mutter after a while, offering him one of the paper baskets the server brought you a few minutes ago, looking rather stoned and not interested in your presence at all.

“Don’t tell me this rotten place is winning your chicken wings and fries contest,” Felix snickers, taking a bite that, to his surprise, actually tastes the best out of the amount of fast food chains and restaurants you’ve brought him to. You should never judge a book by its cover and this bistro is clearly one of the examples.

“I have only one place left to go, so we’ll see then, but I guess it might just be the top place right now,” you muse out, a wide grin decorating your features as you glance up at Felix that watches you scribble down your notes on a mini piece of paper.

“Wanna go with me there? After the finals, of course. We can celebrate if we pass,” you point out, licking your lips in nerves, “I don’t think I’ll need these ‘tutoring sessions’ anymore then, but I still want to hang out sometime.” you say, putting air quotes around the words tutoring session, looking at him with expectations in your eyes.

“Oh, sure,” he agrees, nodding. “I have to be there when you finally declare your last yelp review.”

You only laugh at him and shake your head, eating some more as you look down into your notes again, lost in work. “I still don’t get how you can do these so fast.”

“I already know what’s the most useful. You don’t have to copy the whole textbook on there.”

“You can never know! What if I’ll need it all?” you exclaim, only making him laugh harder.

He points his eyes out of the window, watching the empty parking lot. You didn’t come in your car today, telling Felix your house is close anyway, and Felix doesn’t dare to drive his car anywhere unless he doesn’t need to. He has a little bit of a trauma since the last time he drove with his dad and he almost ran the car into a tree, getting a shower of swear words and exclamations from his dear father, so he only drives his small white Renault when he needs to go home. Which is, coincidentally, next week. 

“I really don’t want to go home next week,” he sighs.

“Your family is still onto you for the smallest shit?” you ask, tone of voice sympathetic.

“Yeah. Can’t wait to graduate so I don’t have to listen to them talking about a degree anymore,” he rolls his eyes, “I only have to find myself a partner so my grandma can shut up about me being single all the time.”

You softly laugh, making Felix look at you for a moment, his heart skipping a few beats when your eyes meet for a little more seconds than usual. “I’m sorry. You can always text me, though, if you need anyone to talk or gossip with.” you say, averting your eyes from his.

“You’d have to be on your phone 24/7, then. My mental stability comes down by 70% when I’m back home and it’s already only on 15% now,” Felix snickers.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I’ll be staying here anyway.” you say, giggling.

“You’re not coming back home?”

“No,” you shake your head in disapproval, quickly glancing into his eyes before speaking up again, “it’s my parent’s wedding anniversary, so they’re going on a holiday. There’s no use in me coming home if I’m just going to be alone there anyway,” you shrug.

Felix hums, nodding in understatement. “That makes sense. I’m sorry you can’t meet your family on holidays, though.”

“It’s okay,” you say, “I see them often anyway. One Christmas won’t kill me. I have a whole season of Game of thrones to catch up on anyway.” you light-heartedly laugh, sounding like Felix’s favorite song. He smiles with you, shaking his head in disbelief at how positively you can always see the world, when he glances out of the window for a moment again, only to be met with a surprise. 

There are white flakes of snow falling from the sky and something in Felix wakes up-- something he’d call happiness, maybe even joy, when he quickly shoots up from his seat and calls you with excitement coating his voice, “Y/N! Y/N! Come on!”

“Come where? Felix, what are you-” 

He doesn’t let you finish as he takes you by the hand and tugs you on your feet, tugging you out of the empty bistro out into the dark parking lot, admiring the snowflakes falling onto the ground and every surface in his sight. He sees some stick into your hair, making him giggle as his outstretched hand dusts them off subconsciously, when he starts running around like a happy child, laughter coming out of his throat filling the silence.

“It’s snowing!” you exclaim, when Felix reaches your body frozen in its place again. He reminds you of a golden retriever when he jumps a little in his place, his feet happily crouching in the snow. You laugh at his antics when he starts acting like a little boy, this side of Felix being so new to you, yet you can’t help but feel your heart swell with admiration when he asks you to catch some snow into your mouth.

“Felix! That’s disgusting!” you refuse, laughing.

“Oh come on! It’s just water!” he cheers, leaning his head back and opening his mouth wide, waiting for the snow to fall into his mouth. 

“But it’s unhygienic and dirty! You have to be kidding me!” you still reject his idea, standing your ground firmly as always in your life so far, when a face of a boy looking like an angel takes you by surprise and his big eyes plead you in a way that makes you drop all your grudges and all your beliefs down, rolling your eyes when he pouts, leaning your head back as well and opening your mouth with a loud ‘aaaa’ sound to satisfy his foolish heart.

Once you both feel a snowflake hitting your tongues, you look at each other with your tongues out, laughing at how stupid the other one looks, pointing to your tongues. You shake your head. “It melted off, you stupid!”

“You did the same thing!” he bursts out laughing, bending over in the force of his emotions. You watch him with a wide grin plastered onto your face. It feels like watching a movie. You don’t think you’ll ever have a brighter memory with the boy in front of you, with his cheeks red from the snow and smile so wide it hurts both of your jaws.

You instinctively take his hands into yours, looking down on your feet as you start going around in a circle with him, going quicker and quicker as you watch your footprints in the snow mixing with his, the dry skin of his hands making you feel strange. You laugh out when your head starts spinning, looking up at him to find him already staring at you with stars in his eyes, when you wonder,

isn’t this how love is supposed to feel?

All of his life, Felix had thought that family gatherings could always either go two ways, and that is: 1) a normal, boring meet-ups where your grandma asks about how school’s going, when you’re going to finally find a partner and another one of your cousin’s announces their engagement party, or 2) the actual engagement parties-- every single family member including the senile grandma from mum’s side gets drunk and you don’t have to think about more fake reasons why you have yet to lose your virginity.

You see, Felix is wrong in a lot of things. And this was surely one of them-- it’s the December 27th and he’s sitting in his grandma’s old kitchen, the wind blowing through the cracks of her window and the sweets on the table have already melted from the heat being too high, because his aunt is always cold and they can’t compromise. That sounds fine, even usual, Felix would say, however, the fire lights up a few moments later when his head starts to hurt from all the talking and he begins to dissociate a little too much, meaning that his grandma now has to shift her attention from all of his other relatives to him, because how dare he stay quiet on a family gathering where he has nothing to add to the conversation, right?

It starts off as usual, the answers to these questions digged deep into Felix’s brain since the first year of college. He doesn’t even bat an eye when he answers the questions directed at his studies and grades, telling all of his interested relatives that he’s working hard and it’s paying off. Nobody complains or disagrees-- his grades are awesome. His degree is here soon. Felix almost thinks he’s over with when his grandma laughs at a poor joke that comes out of his mouth, but that was only a bad prediction as he moves on to questions about his love life, which are, believe me or not, much more boring and much more ego-hurting for the blonde.

“Do you have a girlfriend yet, Felix?” she asks, tone of voice sounding rather interested, but don’t believe her-- it’s only an act. She’s ready to laugh into his face when he gives her the answer she’s hoping for.

“No, not yet, grandma,” he mumbles, averting his eyes from her wrinkley face as soon as possible. He really doesn’t need to look at her any longer to know she’s silently judging him on the inside, because that’s just how his grandmother is. 

“That’s such a shame… I wonder why… You’re such a pretty young boy, aren’t you?” she mutters under her nose, tone almost whiney, “what about your roommate? Jisung, was it?”

Felix takes a deep breath in, closing his eyes for a second to calm his rising heart beat. He could have predicted questions like this coming, because the conversation always somehow diverted to his roommate even when he was at home with his family. It’s crazy, how everyone just seems to adore Jisung much more than their own family member. 

“He’s.. Yeah. He’s always with someone, you know him. Not now, though, now he’s single,” Felix nods, explaining.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll find someone soon,” she admits, “he’s such a gentleman. And so handsome as well, isn’t he?” she asks, his aunt from her right side nodding quickly at the mention of Han Jisung. 

“He always has so many people around him, he’s so charming. If only you were more like him, maybe then someone would date you as well,” his grandma says calmly, not even noticing the way her words cut deeper and deeper into Felix’s heart, kicking him and punching him like a boxing bag, “you should try to be more like him.”

Felix bites down on his lower lip, rolling his eyes. Frustration coats his voice once he speaks up, the built-up anger living inside of him like an animal kept well in its cage. He doesn’t want to let it out, because he fears what it might do once it’s free, but he still retorts to a dig addressed to his grandma, huffing in annoyance. “Should I send Jisung home instead of me next time?”

“Oh no, Felix, what are you even saying right now?” his grandma looks rather offended, eyes twice their usual size as she glares at him.

“Well, since you like him so much.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I was just saying that-”

“Leave it.” Felix says. 

The atmosphere is too heavy now, all eyes on him as if he was in a circus, watching him just moments before his breaking. He realises he no longer feels welcome in this place and maybe he never did, he just chose to ignore it by now, because that’s what he always does when a problem appears-- he chooses ignorance. Ignorance is Felix’s best friend, and although it may sound like he’s running away from his problems all the time, it’s always worked so far. He’s just protecting his heart, building walls around it. 

He doesn’t want to fight. He hates conflict. So, even though he’d like to snap, even though he’d like to leash out like an animal, he doesn’t. He steps back-- as he always does, taking the car keys from the table and escaping the house, hearing the calls of his mother after him. He doesn’t bother to say goodbye, he doesn’t even bother to look back nor take the Christmas gifts his grandma brought for everyone. 

He sits into the small white Renault he drives once a year when he comes back home, starts the engine and speeds up to the limit, driving away from all of his problems. He doesn’t want to hear their complaints, he doesn’t want to listen. It’s the best this way. He wants to ignore the words that came out of his grandma’s mouth, but he can’t find it in him as he hears them resonate in his head over and over again. 

He’s the second choice even in his own family. He’s a joke to everyone, isn’t he? Just the side character, the one that never gets the spotlight. It hurts, it hurts him so much, but he pays no attention to his blurry vision, because even though he’s fairly sure no one from his family would miss him, he doesn’t want to drive off the road and kill himself with his escape.

He parks the car in front of his and Jisung’s flat after a few hours. He’s fairly good at it, considering he never drives, and mentally puts up a middle finger to his dad in his head for screaming at him so much. He was in a much calmer headspace when he was driving with his dad than he was now, yet, he didn’t manage to drive anyone over. 

Putting his feet into the cold, empty apartment, turning the heating on and plopping down on the sofa, he once again realises how lonely it feels. Not only because of the feeling of abandonment the dark flat resonates, but also due to the fact that it truly feels like now, he’s all alone in this world. The silence screams louder than any words ever could, his ears lowly ringing without any sound in the small room, which makes him wonder if he’s truly the only one that has to spend his holidays pretty much alone. Maybe it’s his fault that he’s fucked it up with his family, who knows-- but that’s a topic for another overthinking session of his, when he decides to let it go once his eyes meet the snow silently falling down behind the window. 

The dark mixed with the white balls of fluff in the air remind him of you. Your bubbly laugh, the feeling of your skin on his when you held his hands and danced around with him in the snow. He feels a smile growing on his face, despite everything he’s heard today, his fingers involuntarily texting you to see if you’re doing anything and if you can hang out with him today. 

He meets you at the door a few minutes later, your nose runny from the cold and hands dry, smiling at you with a sense he can only describe as belonging, because he realises, maybe you feel just as lonely as him on holidays and suddenly, he no longer feels sorry for leaving.

“Why are you even here, Lix? Shouldn’t you be at home?” you ask him when you’re taking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the hanger by the door. He bites down on his lower lip to suppress a bitter chuckle. 

“Christmas got cancelled this year.” he shrugs. 

It’s not like he doesn’t trust you. You know better than anyone what his struggles are-- he asked you to keep his secrets numerous times. It’s just that now that you’re here, it’s like his soul finally feels calm and he no longer wants to whine about his grandma or his aunts anymore. It’s just you and him and the empty apartment. If he was anyone else, maybe he’d try to get into your pants. He’s just Lee Felix though, and he’s absolutely, wholeheartedly in love with you, he realises, and believe me, it kind of takes him over the edge, and so he doesn’t try anything. 

And you look at him in understatement, no other questions asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s all a capitalistic holiday anyway,” he shrugs.

You follow him into the living room and he throws the remote control into your lap, telling you to choose a movie before he comes back with popcorn. 

“If you don’t pick anything before I’m done, we’ll just watch Venom, I don’t care,” he says, seeing you adorably scrunch up your nose at him in response. 

When he comes back and you’re waiting for him with Howl’s moving castle paused on Netflix, he can’t help but grin at you. He places the popcorn on the coffee table and notices himself staring onto your body next to his far more often than the TV and wonders if he really drove away from all of his problems or if he just drove away from one problem to another, because now, it’s getting really hard to focus on staying away from you. 

And when you shiver and curl up into his side, placing your head onto his shoulder, he can’t help but jolt at the contact, staring at you in surprise. 

“It’s cold,” you mumble, pouting.

Felix smiles. He rolls his eyes at you, even though on the inside, he finds you absolutely adorable, taking a blanket from the side of the sofa and putting it over your cold bodies, tucking you both in. You feel warm against his side, your hand resting on his chest. He wonders if you can feel his quickening heartbeat, his stiff body and the nerves rising in his heart. Everything else disappears, the fight back home long forgotten and Han Jisung left somewhere home with his own family, the weight of your body overwhelming him when you fall asleep and that’s when he stops and thinks,

isn’t this how home’s supposed to feel like?

The halls of the university building are empty as Felix stands right in front of the closed door, silently pacing around the corridors and bumping his knee up and down. He just got his final’s results and even though his soul was supposed to be at peace, he finds himself stressing over you, currently sitting in the room behind the closed door in front of him, getting your final’s results from biology back. The professor decided to split your class into two groups for the finals so you can, quote, ‘focus better when there’s less people around’ and even though you managed to cheat on your exams without any problems, he still wonders if you did well and if you passed. 

Once the voices behind the closed doors get louder and louder, he figures it’s near the end of your lecture and he can finally see you again and ask you how you did. 

The last time he talked to you without the stress of finals breathing onto your back was back on Christmas break-- more than a week ago. Ever since then, you two have been meeting in the middle of the night again, preparing for your upcoming tests. You didn’t really manage to talk a lot about anything else and even though Felix didn’t mind, he still missed your mindless rambles and weird jokes you used to crack when you weren’t stressing your mind off. 

The door opens and reveals people coming out, a few of them wearing a toothy grin on their faces as they glance on the paper in their hands, a few of them frowning as they pin their eyes to the ground. It’s not easy to differentiate the ones that passed and the ones who did not do that well and even though Felix feels sorry for them, he wonders why they just don’t cheat their way out of bad grades just how he does. It’s not that hard. It just takes a lot of practice. 

Once he finally sees your face, a big, toothy grin decorating your lips, a big stone falls off his heart, a weight lifts itself from his shoulders, because frankly, you wouldn’t look so happy if you failed, right? You’re not a total psychopath.

“How did you-” 

His words are cut off from his mouth, all air kicked out of his body once he feels you so close, the soft skin of your lips pressed up against his in a happy kiss. He’s startled, to say the least. His cheeks are reddening in the instance and he doesn’t even know if time stopped or if it’s just the rising anxiety and excitement in his chest, but he bites down the confusion and kisses you back finally, closing his eyes and bringing you close by your shoulders. The kiss is a little sloppy and messy, but he doesn’t mind-- all that’s occupying his mind right now is you, your sweet lips, your mouthy kiss, your excited hands creeping up around his neck, your bag that fell to the ground next to his feet, your exam paper marked with the big red A+ flying around the two of you when you let it fall from your grasp, your hair tickling his cheeks, you, you, you.

There’s only you. In the air he breathes, in the ground he walks on, in his hands and on his mind. You’re everywhere. Intoxicating.

You pull away from him after a while, grinning at him. It still manages to startle him a little-- how just the small gesture can light up his whole world, how your smile can make him feel like he’s the luckiest person on this earth. He sees stars in your eyes and he wonders who put them there, hoping to be the one, believing he could finally be the one, with how you look at him and hold him in your arms-

but it’s Felix’s life we’re talking about. There’s only you, you, you and maybe somewhere, far away in the distance, there could even be him, but who’s always there for sure is Han Jisung.

Han Jisung staring at the two of you from the open door, mouth agape in shock. Han Jisung with trembling hands, Han Jisung with his books clutched close to his chest as Felix’s heart drops and reality finally hits him. You were never supposed to be his to kiss. You were supposed to be Jisung’s-- his roommate’s, his best friend’s -- you fell for him long, long ago and that’s how it’s always been. 

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to comfort his dear friend that looks like he’s heart’s being broken, but he finds no words in him to console his actions. He feels bad, he feels so, so guilty when their eyes meet, but he doesn’t manage to say anything before Jisung turns around the corner and leaves. 

The sound of Jisung’s quick steps is the only thing resonating in Felix’s mind like a bell, a signal for him that he fucked up, he did a really, really bad thing. 

His insides clutch and eyes water in the empty college corridor when he wonders,

is this how it feels to break someone’s heart?

You kick the small rocks beneath your feet, gazing into the distance. The cold in your bones makes you shudder, your eyes trailing around the neighbourhood so foreign to you, putting your hands into your pockets so you shelter your fingers from the frozen air. You think how this place looks exactly as you imagined it to-- tall apartment complex and a single big tree in front of it, the cars parked in the driveway obviously having their spot as the neighbours have lived together for a long time to know not to park anywhere else, because it’s more efficient this way. 

You’re waiting and waiting, hoping to see the one you’re waiting for soon, because you doubt your confidence will last you for any longer if you don’t talk to him now. You could lie and tell yourself it’s okay and that you’re not nervous at all, but after Jisung ran away the other day and his roommate followed him a few moments later, you feel nervousness creeping into your skin after not seeing or hearing from Felix for three days now. 

You remember him telling you that he likes to go for late-night convenience store runs every evening to get his favorite snacks. It wasn’t hard to find out where he lives-- it’s the 21st century, for god’s sake. You asked a friend of his friend and here you are, waiting  for him to appear in the door of his apartment complex, ready to talk to him about the events of this week.

Once you hear the door opening, you feel your head snap to its direction quicker than the speed of light, knees almost getting weak at the sight of Lee Felix standing there, confusion written all over his face once his eyes meet with yours. The frown forming on his face only deepens your stress as you wonder if he didn’t want to see you today, which, considering the fact that he’s been ignoring you for the past few days, might just be the case, but it still makes your heart break just a little when you hear him sigh once he makes his way over to you, the sound of his sneakers on the ground being the only thing heard in the middle of the night.

All the snow has melted-- as if all the bright things have left just in time with it, leaving you sad and cold, the clouds of your breath hitting the cold air being the only thing reminding you of the weather as you feel your body heating up in his presence. 

“Can we talk?” you ask, voice steadier than you expected it to be.

“I- I mean,” he starts, a shaky and husky voice hitting your ears, signaling that he probably hadn’t spoken to anyone for a long time now, “you’re already here, so I guess…”

You nod at him, averting your gaze quickly to the ground, when you realise you suddenly don’t know what to say. You try to search for words, yet none come out of your mouth. Your mind is blank and it seems like his presence took away all your vocabulary, but deep on the inside, you know damn well that if you don’t speak up now, you won’t have a second chance and you really have to get it now.

“Why- why…” you mutter, “why did you leave without saying anything the other day?” you ask.

The silence is overwhelming as you start to hate the sound of your own breath, opting to hold it for a few seconds as you await his response. 

“I mean, isn’t it obvious?” 

You shake your head in confusion, finally meeting his eyes again. “No.”

“Jisung… Jisung saw us. I didn’t feel like it was right,” he explains, cracking his knuckles in a nervous habit you noticed in him a long, long time ago when he first tried to teach you how to cheat in class without getting caught.

“What does he have to do with anything?”

“You two like each other.” he says bluntly, taking you off-guard.

The moment these words come out of his mouth, you realise not one, but two things. One of them is fairly new to you, the fact that Han Jisung liked you back was something you never knew you could experience, but even though you should be flattered, you realise it no longer holds a meaning in your heart. The second thing is connected to the first-- and that is, Lee Felix doesn’t know that you like him now. His foolish, silly mind convinced him you were still in love with his best friend, his confused and frustrated brain didn’t let him realise that for a long, long time now, the freckled boy in front of you has been the only one you thought about when you were falling asleep at night.

You don’t even know when it happened. You guess it just did. You wondered how it’d feel to know what exactly made you fall for Felix, what that moment was, but something inside of you is telling you that maybe, it was even more wonderful this way. Unexpected, but totally reasonable.

“Why would I be kissing you if I still liked Jisung?” you ask, the fear of directly confessing to him and getting rejected creeping up in your shadow.

“I- I don’t know-”

“Exactly.” you cut him off before he rambles and manages to find a stupid, silly reason in his head to justify his wrong expectations. You know how he is-- if he overthinks things hard enough, he’ll surely find an answer. There’s none, though, so you don’t dare to give him time to think about it and ponder on the thought for any longer.

“But that doesn’t matter now anyway,” he shrugs, putting his hands into his pockets.

You wonder what’s going on inside of his head right now. You wonder if he regrets what he’s done-- if he wants to turn back time and never let you kiss him. The nerves make you bite down harshly on your bottom lip and you only catch yourself when you feel iron in your mouth, quickly licking your own wound on the surface of your mouth and take a deep breath in. 

“Why?” you ask. 

“Why would it?” he says, eyes boring into yours.

“Because… I thought it meant something to you? I mean, it meant a lot to me, at least. That’s why I’m even here in the first place,” you chuckle airly, feeling your throat get dry.

“I’m not saying that it didn’t, I just think it had no point.”

His words feel like knives thrown into your chest, like a fire burning the pit of your stomach. You feel your legs getting weaker at his arguments, your fingers harshly tugging at the skin of your cuticles hidden in your pockets. You don’t trust your voice to sound steady this time when you speak, but you don’t care. Maybe it’s time to show your real emotions. Maybe it will change Felix’s mind.

“And why is that?”

“Because people like you don’t date people like me. You’re supposed to be in love with Jisung. You’re supposed to be dating him, he’s supposed to date you. You’re too good for me anyway.” he shrugs.

“Is this all about Jisung?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed.

You watch Felix sharply inhale in and out, averting his eyes from your figure. The distance between the two of you is unnatural, as if to singal how the two of you are slowly drifting apart. You see him fold his hands on his chest, preparing for what he’s about to say.

“It hurt him, back then. And I hate that. He loves you and I just.. I can’t do that to him, when I know  how much he cares about you.” he says.

Love is a strange thing. You hear Felix say how much Jisung loves you, but is that really true? Does Han Jisung even know you? The real you?

Does Jisung know how you look with your mouth full of fries and a greasy forehead? Does he know how you look when you’re stressed out of your mind because of finals? Does he know your favorite bistro, does he know your favorite movie? Did you cuddle up with Jisung on the couch just because you wanted to be close to him, comfort him and tell him you’re there just a few days after Christmas? 

Or does he just know the self you put up in front of him when you went to meet him? The put-together you that cares even about the sound of your own laugh, not wanting it to sound ugly in his ears? 

Han Jisung can’t love you. He doesn’t even know you.

And you never loved him-- just for the same reason. The feelings you had for him were merely a feeling of attraction, so far away from love.

But now you know how you feel about Felix, how his smile lights up the world and how his presence makes you feel understood. How even the silence with him speaks louder than a million words, how he knows you like the back of his hand and how he treats you like his closest friend. You know that what you feel when you’re with him is stronger than anything you ever have and although it used to scare you for a moment, now you’re ready to embrace it and live with it, if he lets you.

Lee Felix doesn’t tell you he loves you. Maybe you can see it in his eyes.

Why does he have to put everything above love? Why does he care about Jisung more than you? It’s breaking your heart. 

“Felix… I’m sure he’d understand. He’s a good person. I’m sure he’d want you to be happy.”

“Y/N, you don’t understand-”

“He’s a grown adult!” you yell out, the built-up emotions coming to the surface in the form of frustration, your words sunding spiteful and angry. Maybe you are furious, maybe you are full of fire right now, but it’s all because of the boy in front of you and the things he refuses to let himself enjoy.

“Why do you even care about it so much, huh? I was your fucking second choice all along anyway!” 

You look at him in shock, your eyes watering at the sight of the frown sitting on his face. Something inside of you breaks and you think it’s safe to say it was your heart, choking you up as you shake your head in disapproval. 

“Felix-” you protest, but there’s no use.

You see him turn around on his heel, opening the door to the apartment complex and leaving. It feels like you’re losing him, it feels like he’s gone forever. He turned his back on you, refusing all the love you were willing to give him, all the love you were offering to him right here, your heart in your hands.

He gave up on your love.

People in movies go out to party after a break-up to get drunk and numb their feelings. They either go to the club or go to a stupid college party, which is, coincidentally, your case today, but you’re not here to get drunk tonight. You’re not here to drown out your feelings and numb your pained soul-- you’re simply here to try to have some fun.

Your mum told you long, long ago that happiness is a choice. You could argue with her and tell her that depression and heartbreak aren’t a choice and that they, by themselves, are causing people the most sadness, but you had to give your mum a point. If you don’t choose to try, if you don’t do anything to at least try to stimulate your own brain, you can’t expect happiness to find you by itself. That’s just, sadly, not how life works, and you weren’t going to drown out in your own tears just because of Lee fucking Felix, because if you weren’t worth trying for him, he’s not worth any of your tears.

You appear on Lee Haechan’s end of the semester party. You have A+ finals to celebrate and although you would be much happier to drink to them with the one that basically helped you get through the semester, you won’t pass the chance to socialize. You worked hard and you did a good job-- you deserve a party. Alcohol truly isn’t the best for your brain, but you will just decide to call it selfcare. It’s not like you’re getting blacked-out drunk tonight anyway.

You manage to have small talk with a few people from your class. Though it’s not exactly what’s stimulating your brain, you don’t mind it. You barely know these people and you couldn’t care less, but you guess this is the downside of socialising. 

The alcohol in your veins doesn’t give you a chance to loosen up, though. You only feel your body warmer with the beer hitting your system, but your feelings still taste of salt, your brain not cooperating with your grandiose happiness plan and you think the people talking to you notice, since no one really tries to keep you in a conversation long enough when you start to absently nod at them and pay zero attention to what they’re saying. You don’t blame them, though. You’d probably do the same in their place.

Your feet move their way to the front door when you decide that maybe your mum wasn’t right, completely ready to go home and pity yourself for a few more days before coming back to life, when a familiar voice calls you from behind, making you freeze in your spot.

“Y/N, long time no see.”

Han Jisung watches you with glossy eyes, yet he tries to look nonchalant at the sight of you. It doesn’t feel like his heart is breaking when he sees you right here and there, chewing on your bottom lip, more or less, it feels numbing to his heart and his head. It’s like he expected it all from the start-- the outcome that once so surprised him. But after all this time he spent overthinking and dwelling on the memory of seeing you kissing his best friend, it made sense to him. 

“Jisung…”

He can see your eyes growing worried when you watch over him and he mentally slaps himself for not handling his emotions with more care back then. He could have spared you a lot of pain and trouble if he hadn’t reacted in such a way in the doorway of your classroom, but the truth is, Han Jisung hadn’t really known just how much a true heartbreak feels and nothing could ever prepare him for the physical pain numbing his chest. He didn’t know it could hurt so much. 

He doesn’t want to worry you. You are still his friend, after all, right? That’s all you always have been and he should have understood it from the first moment he saw you gaze at his friend so lovingly in the university halls one day. He thinks you, yourself, didn’t even recognise the emotion in you when you watched over Felix with so much care, with so many stars in his eyes and a big grin on your face. He could never compare himself to Felix.

He doesn’t want to worry you anymore, and so he decides to talk to you like a friend would. You looked like you could use a friend tonight.

“How have you been?” he asks, smiling at you. He hopes his eyes convey the emotion he feels-- how after all this time, he still feels comfortable with you and desperately needs you to do the same. He can’t lose another friend. Not to love. 

That happens every single time. Truth be told, Jisung used to have a problem with differentiating true love from platonic feelings sometimes. He used to think he falls out of love just as quickly as he falls in, but the truth is that it was never even love at all. Sometimes, it was just pure admiration. Feelings for a friend. And he managed to ruin all his friendships just because he started dating them. 

And then, he just kept searching and searching for the right one, because no one ever felt right. No one ever made him feel loved, no one ever made him feel love. It felt suffocating, but so, so addicting. He could never give up on trying to find love.

And then he met you. And it finally made sense-- it finally felt right.

“I’m… I’m fine, thanks,” you say, smiling at him with that smile that still, admittedly, made his heart race and swell with love. He’s not afraid to call the emotion by its name. It doesn’t feel wrong. He used to think he wants it to stop, but the truth is, it still feels nice. 

Love feels like loneliness sometimes. It’s a bittersweet feeling. But it’s still so, so addicting.

“Are you sure?” he asks. He knows you. He knows when something’s wrong.

He also knows your eyes have been searching for his roommate for the past few minutes of your conversation. He knows you want to meet him and avoid him all at once, love him and leave him-- it was a paradox. 

He knows his roommate way too well, though. He knows he can’t fall out of love with you. He knows, though, that he’ll never act upon it. Lee Felix has always been the sweetest person in this whole entire world-- putting the needs of others before his own. He can’t keep doing this to himself.He can’t keep doing this to you.

“I think you know the answer, Jisung. Why do you keep asking, then?” you bitterly snicker, going around him and escaping the noisy house. Jisung doesn’t know if you want to leave, if you want to escape his presence, but he can’t leave you just like that, and so he follows you outside, seeing you sitting at the doorstep, as if you were waiting for him.

“You don’t have to think of me, you know that, right?” he says once he takes a seat next to you, watching your expression change into a pained one. 

“It’s… I don’t know. It’s complicated. And Felix- he doesn’t think it’s right. I can’t force him into anything. It was his choice anyway,” you mutter. Jisung sighs heavily, the feeling your words on his chest heavy and solemn. He hates the fact that he is standing in the way of your happiness. He hates the fact that he is the problem, the invisible wall keeping you two from each other. 

“It’s simple, though.” he shrugs.

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, a heavy sigh escaping your lips. He takes it upon himself to explain before you begin to tell him that it’s not, opting to open your eyes on his own.

“You two are in love with each other. So you should be together. Isn’t that simple?” he asks, smiling at you subtly.

You scoff and shake your head. “He gave up on us.”

“Did he, or did he just do what he felt was right?” Jisung argues. “You can’t keep hiding from each other. You can’t keep trying to ignore your feelings just because I like you. That’s not fair for either of you.”

You don’t argue with him this time. He wonders what’s going on inside of your head at the moment, with your eyebrows furrowed and your bottom lip trapped in your teeth. You look just like all the times he watched you during your tutoring sessions-- focused and lost in thought. It will feel weird to not see you in that way anymore, but he has to try.

The same way Lee Felix always tried for him.

“You’re too sweet, Han Jisung. What a shame our timing’s off.” you say, bitterness coating your voice. He looks up at you again, wondering what your words mean. “I used to like you back then, you know,” you smile.

Here it is, the strange emotion again. The emotion of almost physical pain, a hand squeezing his heart, a knife stabbed into his back. It feels like his world is crumbling down on him, because he’s stupid-- so stupid. He could have had you back then. He could have been with you all this time, only if he wasn’t late. He missed his biggest chance, the biggest opportunity, the happiest time of his life. All because he was too hesitant. 

He didn’t deserve you anyway.

“But now your timing’s right with Felix. Don’t waste that,” he says, biting through the pain.

Because the truth is, if anyone deserved love, it was his roommate. The one that refused you for him, the one that rejected you for him, the one that set him up on a date with you even though you invited him in the first place. The one who gave up on his love only so he wouldn’t hurt his friend. You could say that Jisung was too good for this world, but Lee Felix is the one that deserves the whole entire world, in his eyes.

Maybe these two were just too good of friends. Caring about the other one twice as much as about themselves. And that’s exactly why Jisung will get over this-- he’ll push you to his friend. So he could be happy, finally. 

“Jisung, I don’t know-”

“Do it,” he cuts you off, “reach out to him again. Try it. For me.”

y/n: meet me at the 8Bistro at 9 

Felix can’t believe himself when he finds his legs moving to the direction of the bistro at the edge of the town. He knows it’s the last one on your list, the one you invited him to so you could celebrate your finals in and he finds himself wondering if he could have gone here with you earlier only if the two of you didn’t share that kiss back then.

That damned kiss he couldn’t stop thinking about for the last few days-- even weeks, every time he opened his eyes in the morning and closed them when he was about to sleep. It kept following him like a curse, a thing he couldn’t escape, as if it was testing him like the snake tested Eve in paradise. Foreign fruit. 

You’re sitting there already when he arrives, fingers playing with each other as you gaze at the door in expectation. He sees your usual order already on the table, assuming you got here early, but it’s untouched as your knee bumps up and down under the table and you bite down harshly on your bottom lip.

He takes a seat, allowing himself to look at you again after such a long time. It feels like it’s been ages, yet you still look the same to him-- the same beauty that hit him when he first met you and shared his biggest secret with you.

“Why aren’t you eating? You have to finish off your list,” he mumbles awkwardly, motioning to the food at the table.

“I wanted to wait for you.” you say. Your voice is quiet, almost shy, when you speak to him. He wonders just how much he fucked up that it made you act this way. He knows it’s probably a lot, but considering he’s sitting here right now, he can still fix it.

At least he hopes so. 

“Did you.. Do you want to talk to me about something?” he asks, nervosity filling his veins as he feels his hands form a little swimming pool with just how much he’s sweating.

“Yes,” you nod, taking a deep breath in and out. He wonders if you’re just as nervous as he is. The answer is probably yes, considering your tense shoulders and restless legs, but he doesn’t comment on it as he watches you begin speaking again. “I wanted to tell you that I’m- I’m in love with you. And that it’s for real, and it’s for you and no one else,” you start, quickly wetting your lips and continuing again, “and I know you must feel like a second choice, or like you weren’t important to me at all, but that’s not true.”

“You helped me so much, really, but the more I hung out with you, the more I realised just how wonderful you are. And how your heart is so big, how you’re fun to be around…” you ramble, taking Felix by surprise with your heart-felt monologue, “and that Jisung is not the one for me, because, well, it was just.. it was just a crush. I didn’t know him. He didn’t even know me that well. Crushes… they don’t mean anything. They’re silly. But what I have with you, Felix…” you say, drifting your eyes away from him for a second,

“I know you. The real you. And you know me. You’ve seen me at my worst. You’ve seen me struggle and you know exactly how to help. You know me and I know you and the feelings I have for you are much more than a silly crush. I love you, Felix. And I don’t want to just forget about us.” you complete and Felix swears he can feel his eyes watering at your words. He chooses not to speak up, afraid of his voice breaking, afraid he’s going to embarrass himself in front of you. His emotions got the best of him and right here and now, no one else matters. 

It’s you. You that feels like home, you, the only girl he’s ever loved. You, the only girl that ever loved him back, you, who he foolishly rejected. 

You’re everywhere. In his veins, in his heart, in his foolish, stupid mind.

“Felix… I don’t want you to give up on us.” 

He looks up, seeing your sincere eyes and a look full of worry. You seem so wonderful to him, even now. You’re everything he’s ever dreamt of, a home without a roof and walls. With you, he feels at ease. He trusts you. He’s never felt this way for anyone before.

He watches you and he hears your laugh, he hears your whines when he used to tease you so much. He hears the sound of your memories when he chased you around in the snow. He hears the opening song of Howl’s moving castle, reminding him of the warmth he felt when you hugged him so close that evening.

He used to want to hate you. He should have known that could never be the case.

You’re all he needs-- all he wants. You’re everywhere he looks, in every beauty of the world and in everything that’s dear to him. 

You, you, you, you.

And so he decides-- it’s time to change his plan.

Lee Felix’s bullet-proof guide to loving you: 1) hold her hand, 2) get rid of the guilt, 3) lean in and kiss her.

“Does that mean you’re giving us a chance?” you ask, hopeful eyes glaring at him with millions of stars in them, sparkles swimming around in perfection.

“We’ll talk after you eat. You have a yelp review to write,” he laughs.

“Feli-”

Lee Felix’s bullet-proof guide to loving you: 4) shut her up by forcing french fries into her mouth.

“I love you too.”

#districtninewriters #this one means a lot to me i surely hope it appears in the tags bc if not i will cry #kafenetwork #kpopscape #straykidsland #stayhavennet #stray kids #lee felix #stray kids au #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #stray kids oneshot #lee felix au #lee felix angst #lee felix fluff #lee felix fanfic #lee felix fic #lee felix fanfiction #lee felix imagine #lee felix scenario #lee felix oneshot

[mackenzielovee]

Hi, I loved crazy love. Literally I become obsessed, so I was wondering if you could write something about them when they are moving to their new apartment near to college and both of their families are helping them to have everything in order, but Rafe only want them to leave to be all alone with you in their new home. Maybe a little bit of smut?

a/n: this idea had my heart bc i'd really been wanting to write something like this ;) i hope you enjoy! thanks so much for the request!

Warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of planned pregnancy, discussion of sex

crazy love masterlist

my writing

our home: crazy love blurb - rafe cameron

"No, no a little to the left. Ward, are you listening to me?"

You sigh as you set the very last box down on the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at Rafe, who is sitting on your new couch. His head is in his hands as he listens to his parents bicker back and forth, trying to hang up the painting they had bought the two of you. Rose had gushed over it when she bought it, telling you it would match the rest of your decor perfectly.

"Of course, darling. You're talking loud enough," Ward gripes, shifting the painting to the left as Rose demands.

"Oh, come on, now. Back over to the right-"

"It's straight!" Rafe raises his voice, standing up from the couch.

You inhale sharply and step into the living room of your new apartment, wrapping an arm around him to try and calm him down. Ever since his parents and Wheezie arrived with the moving truck to help you both, he's been on edge. When your parents showed up with Macy, you thought he was about to go into cardiac arrest.

"Actually, I think it might just be straight," Rose nods, "Good eye, Rafe."

"Thanks so much," he remarks sarcastically.

"Hey," you whisper to him, trying to tell him to quit being mean to his step-mom, "They're here to help, remember?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I could do this shit myself."

"Because you're such a handy man?" you snort.

Rafe clenches his jaw as he looks down at you, but can't help the smirk on his face. He pulls you closer to him, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Where did Macy and Wheezie go? They should start on those kitchen boxes," Rose tells Ward, stepping away from her husband to look for them.

"We can handle the kitchen boxes," Rafe tells her.

"Y/N?" Rose looks to you for a final answer.

You glance up at Rafe only for a second, noting the look on his face, then nod your head in agreement.

"I like the kitchen organized a certain way, anyway," you tell her with a smile.

She nods her head, "All right. Ward and I can start on your sheets-"

"Y/N's parents are taking care of that," Rafe informs her.

Wheezie and Macy come tumbling into the front door, running past all of you and into your bedroom with your parents.

"What the hell are those two up to?" Ward questions.

Wheezie and Macy have become as thick as thieves, the best of friends, over the summer. One day, you'd shown up at Rafe's only to find your sister in her kitchen with Wheezie, baking away. Ever since then, you and Rafe have had to be extra quiet upstairs.

Rose and Ward step toward your bedroom as well, which is down a small hallway just off the kitchen. Rafe grabs your hand and yanks you with him, following the crowd of people.

"Can everyone get out of our bedroom, please?" Rafe grumbles, standing behind his father and watching your parents finish up making your bed.

Your parents had not been crazy about you and Rafe living together right as you both make the transition to college. You had cried, begged, threatened to not go to school, and even dragged Rafe over for a family dinner so all of you could talk the situation out. You'd never seen Rafe's face so red as the night he had to sit at a dinner table and discuss with your father how the two of you would be sleeping in the same bed.

When your parents found out that the Camerons would be financing your rent bill, however, the living situation had changed. Your parents hadn't realized how expensive dorm living is, and the thought of not having to pay for housing on top of tuition sounded like a dream come true.

Which is how you land in your new, empty kitchen, trying to hold Rafe back from killing every family member the two of you currently have within arms reach.

"It's quarter to three," your dad tells your mother over your bed.

"Macy," your mom speaks, "Get your stuff, honey. We have to get going."

"Yeah," Rafe perks up, earning the attention of his parents, "You guys should get moving, too. Y'know, lots of traffic, and Wheezie's got that thing early in the morning."

Wheezie opens her mouth to speak, but stops suddenly when Rafe gives her the death stare. She looks to you, to which you just shrug, and then turns back to her parents.

"What thing?" Rose asks her. Ward's phone buzzes in his pocket, earning his attention.

"Uh," Wheezie hesitates, looking to Rafe once more.

"Girl scout meeting," Rafe blurts.

You cover your face with your free hand to try and prevent Rose from seeing your laughter. You truly have no idea where Rafe gets this idea that Wheezie is old enough to be in girl scouts. Wheezie narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head slightly.

"Girl scout?" Rose questions to herself, still trying to figure it out when Ward speaks up, eyes still glued to his phone.

"Wheezie, get your stuff. You won't want to be tired in the morning at your meeting."

Wheezie rolls her eyes but does as she's told, making her way out of your bedroom and down the hall to collect her things in the living room.

"Seriously, Rafe?" she hisses, "Girl scouts? I'm fourteen-"

"Shut up, Wheeze," Rafe says back to her through gritted teeth.

Wheezie turns to you, "He's your problem, now."

"Oh, boy, do I know it," you tease Rafe, smiling with Wheezie. She laughs, but it's short lived when Rafe shoves her away.

"Get your shit," he mutters.

"Stop it," you demand, stepping in front of him and holding onto his forearms as they are wrapped around your waist.

The one thing you love about Rafe more than anything is how he always shows affection to you, even if your parents or his parents are around. He just doesn't seem to care about anyone except you.

"I want them to go," he defends himself, keeping his voice quiet, "I just want to be alone with you. In our home. I didn't realize that was such a difficult request."

You smile up at your fussy boy, dragging one hand up to his face to stroke his cheek. You can faintly hear your families moving around the two of you, but you're too lost in your own little world to think too much about it.

"Be patient," you whisper to him.

He smirks, "Will you make it worth my while?"

You give him back the same look, loving the way he smirks at you and allows his eyes to rake over every inch of your face and torso. It takes everything in him not to just grab you by the throat and kiss the hell out of you, only controlling himself because your dad is ten feet away.

"Don't I always?"

Rafe groans, trying his best to keep his composure. He has to close his eyes as he continues to whine, knowing that if he keeps looking at you, he'll be hard in no time.

"All right," Rafe says loudly, tugging himself away from you, "Thanks for coming, everyone, but we have a lot to unpack here. Dad, Rose, Wheezie, I'll show you to the door."

You snicker as you watch him attempt to lead his confused family out the door. You turn to your own family, giving hugs and promising to call whenever you can. Rose refuses to leave without giving you a hug, which pisses Rafe off, as he's gotten Ward and Wheezie out successfully and only needs one more.

Rose promises to send flowers, one that match the color scheme of course, and tells you she'll call you to check on Rafe, since he doesn't bother to return her calls. You give Wheezie a hug and give Ward a polite smile and wave from the doorway.

The second they're all out the door, Rafe slams the door shut and locks it before any of them can decide they forgot something.

"Ah, free at last," you joke.

Rafe turns around, licking his lips as he thinks about how you two finally have an empty house and he has you all to himself. No distractions, no parents, no little sisters listening intently at the door for secrets and drama. He eyes you up and down once, and when he brings his blue orbs to meet yours again, you know what he's thinking.

"Come here," he demands, but he can't help himself.

That boy rushes over to you, pushing you up against the wall in the entryway of your new apartment, kissing you as if his life depends on it. You accept his kiss without a second thought, allowing your hands to wrap themselves around his neck.

"Up," he mutters against your lips, hands guiding themselves to your waist as you jump up and let him position himself in between your legs, wrapping them around his torso.

He moves his kisses to your cheek, then your jawline, then your neck, while his hands relentlessly roam your ass.

"Rafe," you say, tilting your neck to give him more space.

"Hmm," he hums against your skin, not stopping or slowing down for anything.

"I really do have to unpack the kitchen if you want to eat dinner tonight," you tell him, although you're fully aware he would never set you down for anything right now.

"Not hungry."

"Rafe-"

"I think," he stops you, wet kisses trailing your collarbone, "We should fuck everywhere. Y'know, break the place in."

Even though you two have been together for a while, him saying things like that to you always seems to send tingles through your whole body. He always knew what to say, what to do, to get you riled up in all the right ways.

"That would take us all night," you whisper, smirking because you already know what he's going to say.

"Fine with me, baby."

You smile, then reach down and grab ahold of his cheek with your hand. You lead his lips back to yours, kissing him harder than you had been before. He moans into your mouth and you know you have him right where you want him now.

"Kitchen first?" he questions, breathless, "Or should we mess up that pretty little bed your parents just made up?"

The raspiness in his voice gets you going, enough for him to notice you squirming in his grip. He grins, knowing exactly what it is you need.

"Kitchen," you tell him, watching as he barely nods before he kisses you again, carrying you over and setting you on the counter.

With ease, he removes your shorts and underwear, dropping his own shorts to the floor beneath him. He kicks all of the clothes away, knowing the two of you won't be needing them for a very long time.

"I can't wait, baby," he mumbles, excusing his lack of foreplay.

You shake your head, and he already knows you don't mind based on the way you're dripping onto the granite, "Please, Rafe."

He smirks and then grunts as he enters you, breathing out a sigh of relief that you two are finally home.

By the time you and Rafe even make it to your bedroom, he has to carry you because your legs can't physically function anymore. Rafe's proud of his work, but pretended to pout when he finished you off on the couch and you told him you needed a break.

He lays you down on your new, freshly made bed, moving the pillows out of your way and tucking you underneath the duvet. He climbs in beside you and molds you into his body almost instantly, inhaling your shampoo scent and perfume, thinking about how perfect this moment truly is.

"I can't believe it," he whispers.

"I know."

"Our home."

"Yes, it is."

You two lay there for a while, staring out at the tens of boxes that have each of your names written on them, just begging to be unpacked. You're sure Rafe's boxes will still be sitting there in two weeks, as he had packed a separate duffle bag of his 'essential' belongings.

"You know," he starts after a while, a devious smirk finding it's way to his cheeks, "The next big step is having a mini you. Or a mini me. But, I'd rather have a mini you."

"We just moved into our college apartment and you're talking about impregnating me," you laugh, as if to ask him if he's serious.

"She'll be so cute," he goes on, "A little girl that looks just like you. And she'd have your smarts, thank God, because she'd be screwed with mine. But she'd have my humor, of course."

"Of course?" you tease him.

"And then we'll have a boy."

"Wow, Rafe Cameron, you really just have this all figured out," you move your head up to look at him, noting the small, cheesy smile plastered across his face.

"I do, baby. He'll be a hellion, though. Never listening, always running away, but a total momma's boy. Never wants you to leave his side-"

"So, just like his dad, then?" you grin, watching Rafe clench his jaw and shake his head.

"Break's over," he grunts, rolling you on your back and climbing on top of you, "We're trying, now."

"No, we're not," you say forcefully.

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I'm joking. We'll wait until, like, junior year or something."

"Rafe."

"Fine. But the second you walk across that stage with your diploma, I'm putting a baby in you."

"Deal."

Tags:

@hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn @rafeswh0ree @outerbankies @morganwilliams

*if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist at any time, please send me an ask!

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[scuttling]

Weigh Me Down

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 4,221 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad bod Hotch, Physical domination, Manhandling, Slapping, Choking, Mild breath play, Sir kink, Oral sex, Rough sex, Unprotected sex, Biting, Begging, Dirty Talk Summary: You always knew being the kind of girl who runs her mouth would get you in trouble eventually; you just had no idea how incredible being in trouble could feel. *Inspired by @unicornprancing. Link to A03 or read below! It’s always the quiet ones: it’s a cliché because it’s true, something you’ve never really given much thought to because you are not a quiet one. You talk a lot, laugh a lot, aren’t afraid to speak your mind—it can get you in trouble at work, when local law enforcement is being stubborn and you give them a piece of your mind, or when Hotch gives an order that makes no sense, like stay behind me.

Has he met you? You aren’t the stay behind me type, not by a long shot, so when he says that or something like that, it always leads to you running your big mouth and starting an argument.

You are surprised as hell when one of those arguments follows you back to the office and, in an apparent effort to get you to stop talking, Hotch presses your back against his closed door with his body and puts his hands on either side of your head, leaning in to kiss you rough and deep.

Kissing Hotch is not a thought you've ever entertained. It’s not that you don’t find him attractive—he’s pretty much everything you dream about in a man, tall and strong and commanding, with dark hair and big hands and a withering stare. It’s more that you are so different, that you are loud and lively where he is quiet and clearly repressed; the idea of the two of you together just doesn’t make sense, until it really, really does.

You fist your hands in his shirt, arch up to press your hips against his, and he puts his hands on your body and shoves you back against the door; there’s something hanging on the wall to your right, and its frame rattles with the force of it. You moan into the kiss, and he pulls back, panting, to look into your eyes.

“Was just trying to shut you up for a change,” he says, low, and you lick your lips, look over his face. He’s still angry, and his hands are hard on your hips, holding you down when you try to press up again. Your heart is pounding, your breathing harsh.

“It was working.” His eyes sweep over your lips, your heaving chest, and you suddenly want so many things, starting with his mouth on yours immediately. “Maybe try again.”

He tilts his head, looking like he can’t decide whether he wants to kiss you or purposefully deny you what you’re asking for, but ultimately he gives in, leans in, takes your face in one of his big hands and kisses you hard.

You twist your fingers tighter in his shirt, slip him your tongue, and struggle against his hand so he’ll let you make contact, so you can feel the raging hard-on he has to be sporting. He takes his hand off your hip, and you think you’ve won, but he slides a thigh between your legs instead, pins you against the door that way, and grabs your wrists; he pulls your hands away from his shirt despite your tightening grip, holds your arms over your head, and deepens the kiss, makes it wetter and messier.

All your life, you have wanted this: someone bigger and stronger who could handle you at your mouthiest, who could calm the fire that’s always raging inside you and wind you up at the same time. Men have always been intimidated because you’re in the FBI, or because you were a cop, and for those reasons you’re also physically more capable than they expect; plenty of guys enjoy having a girlfriend who can rough them up a little, but not the guys you want. The guys you want see your strength, your fortitude, and they go running.

Hotch knows all of this about you, and he’s not running.

Far from running, he is crowding you up against the door, his body and his hands and his unrelenting mouth bringing you such pleasure you’re tempted to try to rub off against his leg. You grind against it, more to see what he will do than to actually try to achieve anything, and he shifts so both of your wrists are in one hand, brings the other to your jaw to hold it still. When he stops kissing you, you whimper at the loss.

“No.” So deep it’s almost a growl, his command is one you can feel in your bones, and you swallow hard. Your eyes are fixed on his, and you grind up against him again; his hand flexes on your jaw, presses into the bone, and while that feels really good, there’s something you want even more. You cover his hand with yours—his grip loosens, either because he knows you’re trying to ask for more or because he thinks you’ve had too much—and slide it to your cheek.

You let him go, look up at him, breathless, and he pulls back and slaps your face: not too hard, or too soft, just enough to sting and soak your panties. You gasp, lick your lips, dazed, and he switches hands, hold your wrists together with one and slaps the opposite cheek with the other. He takes your jaw in his hand again, tilts your face up like he’s daring you to act up.

You contemplate it, quickly weigh the pros and cons—acting up is looking better by the minute—but someone comes up and knocks on the door, right behind your head.

Hotch drops your hands, steps back, and you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, try to snap out of the trance you’ve found yourself in. He turns around, presses his hand against the front of his pants, clears his throat and says, “come in.”

It’s JJ, and she gives the both of you a concerned once over when she enters; she was in the SUV with you on the way back from the airport, had a front row seat to the argument that started it all. You can’t imagine how you look—flushed, breathless, a little confused?—but Hotch somehow manages to look unaffected, like he’s really just been up here bickering with you all this time. You envy his composure.

“I was just getting ready to leave, wanted to make sure you guys didn’t need anything.” He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and looks over at you; you shake your head too, hope that your inability to do much more than stand there can be attributed to the fight she clearly thinks the two of you were having. “Okay then. Have a nice weekend,” she says, flashing a soft smile, and she leaves, closes the door behind her. Hotch blows out a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair.

“Look,” he says, and your heart sinks so fast. You really thought for a second that things might be different with him. That you finally found what you’d been looking for.

“No, I get it,” you manage to say, and your voice is rough, but you look him dead in the eye because that’s who you are. “You didn’t mean for it to go that far. We can pretend it didn’t happen.”

You’re surprised again when he frowns, shakes his head.

“No. Well, yes, but no. I didn’t mean to take it that far, I’ve never—I’ve never done that.” He wets his lips and takes a step closer to you, and already your body knows how to react to his proximity. It’s like a switch was flipped, and now it can’t be unflipped. “But I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen. Not if you don’t.”

You breathe heavily, let silence blanket the room for one heartbeat, two. Twenty.

“I don’t. I really don’t.” He takes another step closer, brings a hand to your cheek, but this time his touch is gentle.

“Then we won’t.”

His mouth, when it finds yours, is not gentle. It is bruising, probing, his tongue seeking yours, and you wrap your arms around his back, his shoulders, encourage it, until one of your hands drops to his belt and he grabs it, forces it down at your side.

“Not here,” he says through gritted teeth—probably because, while he’s saying no, the unmistakable bulge in his pants is actually begging yes. You move the hand he’s not holding, brush it through his hair, and he blinks slow. “Do you want to come home with me tonight?”

You’re pretty sure you’ve never wanted anything more in your goddamn life. The ride to Hotch’s place is slightly awkward. You are both mostly silent, in that stage of the hookup where you’re both reliving how you got here, wondering what will happen, if this is the right thing, if it’s worth it.

From everything you’ve seen so far, it’s really fucking worth it.

His apartment is very nice, clean, kind of bare in that modern bachelor way. Yours isn’t much better, because you are always at work, always looking at photos of missing women instead of your family and friends. You run a hand along the sofa—large, black, suede—and comment on it just to say something, and he puts his hands gently on either side of your throat, kisses you, and looms over you so you are forced to settle back onto it.

You lay back, one foot on the floor and the other leg stretched along the length of the cushions, and he pushes his way between your knees, drapes himself over top of you, kisses some more. You run your hands over him because he lets you, truly feeling his body for the first time, and the thickness, solidness, softness has you moaning against his lips for more.

He leans up, takes one hand off your throat, and moves the other to the front of it, his fingers digging into the sides of your neck. The image of him on top of you like this, your literal life, safety, comfort in his hands… it’s intoxicating, and you nod just slightly, to let him know that if he wants, this is something he can have. Something he can take.

He bends down to brush his lips over yours, then over your throat, your ear. “Just a little,” he murmurs, squeezing tight. “I’d prefer to discuss it more—unless you wanted to stop and do that now.” There is a smirk in his voice when he says it, because he knows already that stopping is the furthest thing from your mind. You’ll take just a little, for now.

He leans up again, flexes that hand on your throat in a way that makes your eyelids flutter. With his free hand, he loosens the knot of his tie, pulls it off, starts slipping his buttons free.

Undressing himself on top of you, making eye contact, restricting your air supply—never before have you been willing to give a man free rein of your body, but there’s a first time for everything, and he’s quickly earning himself a key to your kingdom. Your body thrums at the idea of being at his complete mercy, tied up maybe, legs spread, edged with his mouth and hands until all you can do is whine his name and beg to come.

Your face heats, and you whimper, and he loosens his grip, brushes his thumb over your mouth.

“Good girl. Are you alright?” You lick your lips, swiping your tongue over the pad of his finger, and nod.

“Yes, sir.”

You would never be insubordinate—okay, you absolutely would be, have been, were earlier today—but authority is not really your friend, so you aren’t the type of person to throw sir around like it’s second nature. Your use of the title here is deliberate—call it a hunch—and when his eyes darken, it’s clear it’s worth swallowing your pride over.

He takes his hand off of you, makes quicker work of his shirt with both hands available to him. You look down at his crotch, and he pauses to bring his hands to yours, moves them to his belt, giving you permission to open it. The clink of the buckle feels obscene in his quiet apartment, and you untuck his shirt so he can pull it off, left only in a tight undershirt that emphasizes every curve of muscle, the bit of softness across his midsection. He’s perfect, and you run your hands over him, moan, make sure that he knows it.

He pulls your t-shirt off, unhooks your bra and kisses your throat, your chest, cups your breasts in his hands and teases your nipples with a pointed tongue. You let your head fall back, because it feels so good and you want to feel his tongue lower, wonder how he’d react to the taste of the slickness that’s been pooling in your panties since he slammed you up against that door.

“Fuck. Please.” He looks up at you from where he’s mouthing at your breasts, pulls off with a wet sound and rubs his hand up your chest to curl around your neck.

“You have to tell me what you want, sweetheart. I’m not a mind reader.” You whimper, and he presses his thumb into your mouth, lets you suck on it a moment before easing it out. “Always running your mouth, always disobeying me. Always have to have the last word. Where’s that mouthy girl now?” You stare up at him, say nothing, and he slaps your cheek, pushes two fingers into your mouth when it falls open in a moan.

He’s back to undressing one handed, stands while his fingers thrust over your tongue and pushes his pants down, his underwear. You moan when his cock springs up, big and full, and you bob your head a little so maybe he’ll get that you want to give him a sickeningly sloppy blow job.

“No, you don’t get this yet,” he says, pulling his fingers out of your mouth and spreading the wetness over the dark head of his dick. “You don’t get anything until I give it to you. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” you promise with a nod, and he pulls his undershirt off and works your pants open, drags them down your legs. He exhales deeply when presented with your panties—you’re certain they’re obscenely, visibly wet, and it’s confirmed when pulls them off and you can feel how messy you are, your sticky arousal coating your pussy, ass, and thighs.

He pushes your legs up, leans in, and swipes his tongue over you, from your opening to your clit, then over your inner thighs, and you moan, buck against him. Moving his hands to just behind your knees, he holds you tightly, lays his arms over the length of your pushed up thighs, presses down so you can’t move. You whimper at the restriction, and he presses harder, dives down to lick and kiss your pussy, to tug at your lips gently with his teeth.

“All this because of a little roughness?” he asks with a delicious jab of his tongue inside your aching hole. “Soaking your panties because I slapped your pretty face?” You pant, nod, and he rubs his tongue hard against your clit, gets you so close you can hear the change in your own voice as you moan, and then pulls back. “You’ve been needing someone to put you in your place for a while, haven’t you? Someone who can take hold of that smart mouth and render you silent. Do I have it right, baby?”

He has it exactly right and he knows it, only asks to hear you say the two words he probably never imagined he’d get out of you.

“Yes, sir.” It’s strained and weak, and he lays one forearm across your thighs, holds you down, and batters your clit with his tongue, rubs his huge hand over your hot, sensitive pussy until you come whining and trying desperately to move against him even though you can’t. “Oh my god, Hotch, fuck.”

He kisses you as soon as you sag against the sofa, groaning against your mouth, running his hands over your hips, and you are still trying to catch your breath when he gets his arms around you, scoops you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he tosses you roughly onto the bed, your body bouncing from the force, and then turns you over and wastes no time thrusting inside you, laying on top of you, his full weight all but guaranteeing you’ll come fast and hard.

“Does that feel good?” he grunts in your ear, pounding against your ass, and you whimper, claw at the sheets. He covers your hands with his, laces your fingers so you can't move them, pushes your hair off of the back of your neck with his nose. “Good girl, just lay there and take my cock. You aren’t the type to put up a fight, are you?”

That shouldn’t turn you on like it does, but you live to fight, and now that you have this incredible, sexy, strong man on top of you, dominating you the way you’ve only dreamed, it just comes naturally.

You try to buck back against his thighs but can’t because he’s so heavy, his thrusts so deep and rough. You try to get your arms free, whine when he holds your hands tighter, when he presses his biceps down against the backs of your arms so they can’t move at all. You thrash your head, moaning, loud, nearly primal sounds of pleasure, and he puts his mouth against the back of your neck, bites down hard like you’re an animal he’s forcing to submit.

“Settle, settle; just let me fuck you, let me come inside. You’re no match for me, sweetheart.” Your eyes roll back in your head as he speaks it into your ear, as he rocks his thighs against your ass, as you can feel the muscles of his stomach flex against your lower back. He uses your body, truly, every inch of it covered and compressed by the weight of him, forcing your breasts and clit to rub against the comforter; any one thing he’s doing would be enough, but all of it combined is almost too much, and you whimper, desperate, needy. “Too weak to do anything but let yourself be fucked, aren’t you? Whether or not we come is up to me.”

“Mmh, yes sir,” you breathe, and he leans in to bite the back of your neck again, possessive and rough. It sends a wave of arousal through your whole body, makes your pussy throb and ache. “Oh, god. Please, please make me come. Please use me to come.” Your voice is high, eager, so unlike you’ve ever heard it before that it somehow only adds to your pleasure.

“Using you, baby,” he groans in your ear, thrusting faster, harder, the fleshy smack of your thighs as he fucks and the wetness of your cunt as you take him in filthy and amazing. “I’ll make you come, I’ll come in you, if you promise to be a good girl for me. Are you a good girl?”

God, he’s really going to make you say this. Being a sweet, subservient girl is not in your nature, but it could be, for him. You’d be anything he wants you to be.

“Yes, sir,” you murmur, and he lifts one hand off of yours and puts it on the side of your head, pressing your cheek against the bed while he fucks you.

“Louder.”

“Yes, sir.” Your voice is louder, but less convincing, and he trails his lips over the curve of your ear, sinks his teeth into your exposed throat.

“Louder.” He punctuates it with a hard, almost brutal snap of his hips, and you can feel your orgasm so close, try not to become so focused on the feeling that you miss out on all the rest.

“Yes, sir, I’m a good girl. Please, please.” He picks up the pace, crushing you against the bed, beneath his weight, and you are sweaty, breathless, out of control—perfect.

“Yes you are, and you’re going to come for me.” Soft lips brush over the stinging bites he left on your neck, and he swipes his tongue over them, soothes them. “Who are you going to come for?”

“You, sir,” you gasp, body tensing, pussy clenching, and he groans.

“Who are you going to come for? I need a name, baby.” You whimper, moan, wish you could kiss him, taste him, and when you come it is violent, lengthy, gripping your whole body and dragging it somewhere you’ve never been.

“Aaron—oh, god, I’m coming for you, Aaron. Please, please.” Your eyes water as he fucks you through it, pumping deep until he spills inside you, panting that’s right, easy, just like that in your ear until he’s spent.

He settles on top of you, and the layer of sweat between you should feel disgusting, but it just makes you feel closer to him, like a good girl, like you earned the reminder of how hard you both worked, how hard you came.

He is all sweet kisses and gentle hands, asking if you are alright, praising your performance, your body; it feels so good, his velvet voice wrapping around you, his heavy body pressing down on yours.

You shower after that, so you can sleep; notorious insomniac that you are, he chuckles in your ear when you start to drift off in his arms almost instantly after he gets you both situated in bed. You wake to gentle hands sweeping over your body. You are bruised where he held you down, sore all over in the very best way; you hum at his touch, turn to face him so you can collect soft, sleepy kisses. You drape your arm over his stomach, bury your face in his chest, and he rubs his hand over the back of your neck where you are bitten and raw and claimed. It turns you on—the feel, the memory, the implication—and he lays you back against the bed, puts a pillow under your ass, then settles between your legs and kisses your mouth.

“Going to make you feel really good, baby. Just do as I say, be a good girl, and I promise I’ll make you come.” You nod, tired but horny and ready to do as he says, and he leans up over you, wraps his hands around your shoulders, hooks his chin against your neck. His weight is pressing down on you again, but this time it’s different, sweeter and more intimate. You smile softly, wet your lips.

He slides inside you, maneuvers your legs up over his thighs, and rocks upward, his pelvis lined up in such a way that it rubs right over your clit. You moan, wrap your arms around his back, roll your hips while he grinds against you, pumping shallowly inside but, more importantly, stimulating your clit with each stroke.

“Aaron,” you sigh, holding him tightly while he moves against you, and you throw your head back, gasp and groan while his heavy body glides over yours, while he breathes roughly in your ear.

“Yes, baby. Feels good? Want your sweet pussy to feel good, after I was rough last night.”

“Yes, sir, feels good.” It leaves your mouth as a groan as he humps against you right over your clit, as he tilts his head to kiss you softly below your ear.

“Not sir right now, just Aaron.” You hum, clutch him tighter, move against him, feel the tip of his cock come so close to slipping out just to have it pushed carefully back inside.

“Feels really good. I’m close.” He grinds a little faster, body rolling harder against yours, and you shudder, dig your nails in, and climax, easy and slow and delicious. He praises you even though, again, you didn’t do much, then leans up on his forearms and pushes in fully, thrusts quick and deep. “Mmm, yeah. Want your come.” You pull him close for a kiss, grip his shoulders hard while he fucks you fast, desperate.

You kiss his arms when he comes, panting and gorgeous over you, and when he collapses onto you you wrap your arms and legs around him, hold him tightly, and hum.

“What are you thinking about, baby?” he asks, knows that sound, and you press your lips to his shoulder.

“Just thinking how nice this is. How I like that last night isn’t all you want from me.” He makes eye contact, smooths your hair back, brushes a kiss against your mouth.

“I want anything—everything. I think we could be really good together, despite our differences… if that’s something you want.” You nod, smile softly, and he reciprocates, leans in for more easy kisses. “One thing, though: when I tell you to stay behind me, stay behind me.” Your smile melts into a scowl.

“You wouldn’t tell Derek to stay behind you!”

“Why are you comparing yourself to Derek? Why are you comparing at all, I told you—”

“I know what you told me, and it’s bullshit, so forgive me if I—”

“I don’t forgive you, actually, and if you keep talking back to me—”

“What are you going to do?” He demonstrates. It’s extremely effective. You still don’t stay behind him when he tells you to.

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[hispipsqueak]

Sweet Little Sister

Tenya Iida x F!Reader x Tensei Iida NSFW

TW: STEPCEST. I cannot stress this enough. If you do not like stepcest, skip this fic my friend. Reader is the Iida brother’s new stepsister and things get wild. All characters are 18+.

Other TW: unprotected sex, threesome, a lot of little sister/big brother type stuff, slight yandere Iida brothers, oral F and M receiving.

WC: 4k

A/N: Y’all have no idea how long I have been putting off writing the ending because it was HARD and I have like one brain cell. This fic has been the bane of my existence and I’m exhausted. I really hope you guys enjoy this. Please send me love....and snacks. I’m gonna go to bed now.

You fixed your skirt for the millionth time. You were going to finally meet your future stepbrothers for dinner tonight and you were a bundle of nerves.

Your mom had been dating a new man recently who she was head over heels for. They had been spending so much time together and he spoiled her, flying her abroad on weekend getaways all the time. Apparently, he had popped the question when they were in Greece last week and the two of them were flying in tonight to celebrate with both families. All you knew was he had two sons, both a little older than you. However, since the romance had been so quick, you hadn’t met them yet.

You were the last to arrive for dinner, and as you pulled up to the house, the house that you soon would all share, your jaw dropped. It was MASSIVE, nothing short of an estate. You knew your future stepdad was rich, but this was certainly a step up from your measly 2 bedroom apartment you shared with your mother.

You rang the doorbell, patting down your outfit one more time before the door swung open. A tall man opened the door and your eyes widened. His white button up stretched over his broad chest and you quickly pulled your eyes up to his face. He had navy hair, neatly combed back and a bright beaming smile.

“You must be Y/N! I’m Tensei!”. He pulled you into a tight hug and you were pressed into his chest. He smelled like pine and clean laundry and you felt your heart race. He let go of you and smiled, his blue eyes sparkling. 

“Sorry! I just figured, since we are going to be brother and sister, we better get close!” 

Right. Brother. This was your big brother and you could NOT think of him any other way. You forced a smile on your face, and nodded.

“You’re right! It’s great to finally meet you.”

“There you are – oh hello. I apologize for my interruption! I’m Tenya Iida.” Tensei’s brother, a literal carbon copy of him, just with square glasses perched in front of his blue eyes, walked into the room. You looked up at both of them, and felt very small.

“Tenya, no need to be so formal. Y/N is our new little sister, and we should be bonding!” Tensei teased, poking Tenya in the ribs. A bright blush crept on his cheeks and the two of them argued.

“I’m glad the three of you seem to be getting along well!” A man who resembled the two, only older with a grey streak in his hair smiled. Your mother stood next to him, the sparkly diamond standing out on her hand.

“Let’s get to dinner.”

Somehow you ended up sitting between Tensei and Tenya at the long table. Your parents were too busy being lovestruck teenagers to really pay the three of you any mind, and you ate your dinner in awkward silence until Tensei began speaking.

“Y/N, I hope you like your bedroom here! It’s on the top floor but it’s between both mine and Tenya’s so if you ever need your big brothers, we are right next door!”

You giggled, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

Tenya nodded solemnly, “It’s our duty as older brothers to protect you! We will take this responsibility seriously!” 

You bit back a laugh. “Thank you Tenya. I already feel very welcome and safe.”

The three of you continued talking and soon, dinner was over. Both of the brothers insisted you head up to your room as they cleaned up, and your parents headed to their room which was thankfully, in another wing of the house.

You made your way up the stairs and opened the door that Tensei had directed you to and it was very...pink. There were pink lilies on the nightstand and a huge baby pink comforter on the bed surrounded by fluffy pastel pillows. A white vanity sat in the corner with a matching chair and white and pink dressers stood against the wall.

You supposed they were really glad to have a little sister and you smiled at the card that your new older brothers signed. You pulled your overnight bag open and searched for clothes to sleep in. The rest of your stuff would be arriving tomorrow, so you were stuck wearing shorts a little too small and a tank top that left very little to the imagination. You looked in the mirror. Maybe you could ask Tensei for a shirt to cover up, As if reading your mind, a knock at the door interrupted your thoughts.

“I just came by to…say goodnight!” Tensei’s eyes trailed down, before he blinked and looked back at your face. You could see his ears reddening and crossed your arms in an attempt to hide your cleavage.

“Um, actually I was wondering if I could borrow a shirt, Tensei? I’m so sorry, it seems that I haven’t worn this in a lot longer than I thought.” You laughed nervously.

Tensei straightened up.

“Of course! I’ll uh, be right back!” He sped off and returned with a large grey t-shirt that you immediately threw on over yourself. As you pulled it over yourself, you didn’t see Tensei’s eyes roam down your exposed legs. You turned to him. “Thank you so much Tensei. Sweet dreams!” You said, giving him a tight hug. He nodded and headed back to his room, passing Tenya in the hallway. Tenya gave him a curious look and Tensei just returned a tight-lipped smile before locking his door and collapsing on his bed, his cock straining against his boxers. 

------

The next morning you woke up refreshed and wanting to thank your new brothers for their hospitality. You headed out to the hall to see if they were awake. You opened the door to see Tenya standing there.

"Hey! I was just looking for you! Good morning Tenya." You smiled at him. 

"Good morning." He said looking at you curiously. "Is that Tensei's shirt?" 

You looked down and gave a sheepish grin. 

"Oh! Yes, I had another shirt on but it was a little too small so he let me borrow this last night."  

Tenya had an unreadable look on his face. You cocked your head to the side.

"Um...so anyway, I was wondering if you wanted breakfast? I wanted to show my appreciation for the warm welcome to my new brothers and I love to cook so it's my pleasure." You smiled at him. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, then just nodded.

"Uh...thank you, Y/N that would be wonderful. I'll show you around the kitchen." He said, placing a hand on your shoulder. He pulled back. "Apologies!"

You laughed.

"Tenya, please. We live together. I want you to feel comfortable around me!" You pulled him into a hug, your face in his chest.

Tenya's heart raced and he prayed you couldn't feel his growing erection. You were so soft and smelled so good and fuck you looked incredible in those tiny shorts, though he felt a strange pang of jealousy over you wearing his brother's shirt.

She's your sister. Your little sister. That's disgusting and disgraceful.  

His head raced with thoughts and he felt so ashamed but the taboo aspect fueled the fire burning inside him. 

You pulled away, looking up at him with those beautiful bright eyes. His heart thumped in his ears.

"Oh, good morning!" 

Tensei's door swung open. He stood shirtless in a pair of red flannel pajama pants and neither of the brothers missed how your eyes were drawn to his muscular chest before you composed yourself.

Tenya glared at Tensei, who gave an easygoing smile in return.

"I hope you slept well, little sister." Tensei asked you. You nodded and thanked him again for the shirt.

"I hope you're hungry. I'm making breakfast." You grinned as the three of you headed to the kitchen. Tensei chuckled.

"That sounds wonderful Y/N. Do you need any help?" 

You shook your head. "Nope! Let me treat you both as a thank you. I've always wanted older brothers to make food for and dote on." You giggled. "Maybe I watch too much anime but I always loved that idea."

Both brothers sat at the island in the kitchen watching you as you flitted about grabbing ingredients and utensils to use. You reached for a box of flour on a high shelf and your shorts ran up even higher, giving them an eyeful of the curve of your ass. Tensei bit his lip, and Tenya cleared his throat. "Allow me!"

You spun around, "No way! I told you. I can handle making my brother's breakfast!" You turned back to the cabinet, jumping up to reach. 

Even though you had Tensei's shirt on, your breasts jiggled and bounced with each jump, and you made soft panting noises as you attempted to pull the box down. Both of them were grateful for the island that prevented you from seeing their cocks fully aroused now.

You, having finally gotten everything you needed, turned away from them again as you began to cook on the stovetop. Tensei had finally had enough. As you talked about whatever it was you were talking about, he slipped his cock over the waistband of his pants, palming it slowly. You just looked so fucking nice, and for a moment Tensei could see you as his cute little housewife and not his innocent little sister.

Or maybe it turned him on more to think of you as both...fuck what was the matter with him? He couldn’t think about it too long as he had more pressing matters at hand, literally.

Neither you nor Tenya seemed to notice he was preoccupied and you continued joking and laughing. Suddenly you whipped around to face him. His hand froze on his cock and he coughed to cover his discomfort. 

“Tensei, how do you like your eggs?”, You asked innocently, completely oblivious to the death grip he had on his cock underneath the island.

“Uh...erm, anyway is fine! I’m sure they’ll be delicious if you cooked them.” He stammered out, praying you didn’t continue the conversation. You smiled, and turned to ask Tenya his preferences. Once Tensei was sure you were distracted, he slowly pumped his hand up and down his cock again. Precum leaked from the tip and knowing you could catch him, knowing you were less than 5 feet from him, only fueled his arousal. What would you do if you caught him? Would you be disgusted and upset? Or would you offer to help, offer to take care of your big brother?

God he was so close, so close imagining your hands wrapped around him, your beautiful face looking up at him, so sweetly, so innocently –

“NHGG!” he groaned, shoving his cock in his pants as his cum spilled over his hand. He could feel the fabric spreading his seed all over his cock and he felt uncomfortably sticky.

“Are you okay, big brother?” Your eyes were wide with worry. He turned to face both you and Tenya. 

“Y-yes! Sorry, muscle cramp in my leg. Happens sometimes, Sorry!” He smiled reassuringly as the cold fabric stuck to his softening cock. You still looked worried and he flashed you a bright grin. “I promise, I’m fine.”

You nodded and turned back to the food. Tensei met Tenya’s stare, the younger man’s eyes narrowed to slits. 

Oblivious, you plated the food. 

“Let’s eat!”

--------

The three of you navigated your new sibling relationship as well as possible. You loved your new older brothers and fussed over them daily, cooking for them and doting over them any time they were home. Your mom and stepdad, seeing how well the three of you got along, often left the three of you home while they jetted to far off countries on lavish vacations.

The boys loved the attention from you. Their packed lunches, your soft hands rubbing their shoulders or playing with their hair as they laid on the couch after a long day. You were so sweet and beautiful as you flitted around the house, cooking dinner or doing chores. And those days where they would come home to find you lounging by the pool outside? Your tiny swimsuit leaving little to the imagination? Well those were just bonuses.

Those nights, as you slept soundly in your bed, on the other side of the wall, Tenya gripped his cock tightly. Your curves ran through his mind and he spat on his throbbing cock as he thought about you. Your soft touches and giggles replayed in his head. Thoughts of when the two of you were alone and you’d curl up against him on the couch as you watched a movie, or fell asleep on his chest. You trusted him so much to protect you and love you like an older brother should and here he was, fantasizing about stretching your sweet little pussy on his cock, about making you cry out his name. 

Fuck, or when your cute little voice rang out each morning, “Good morning big brother!”. He wanted to hear you scream for him, beg your big brother to fuck you harder. He wanted to ruin you and make you his. He panted as he picked up speed, fucking his hand. His hips jerked and he was so close. 

A noise came from your room, a soft mewl. Tenya pressed his ear to the wall. He could hear movement and another soft sigh. Were you touching yourself too? Were you imagining his cock filling you up? He strained to hear and made out your cute little breaths and another low moan. His eyes rolled back and he groaned as his cum shot over his abs and chest. He listened to hear if you were awake and heard nothing more from your room. Sighing, he reached to his nightstand to clean himself.

-----

Days passed and you had been in an exceptionally good mood. At first, Tensei and Tenya both thought you were just in a good mood. But they started to notice you looking at your phone more, giggling and blushing at the screen. When they would ask, you would mumble “nothing” as you typed a response. You also spent more days out of the house than usual, saying you were spending time with friends or running errands. Finally one night, as the three of you sat at the table, you spoke up.

“I met a guy.”

Tenya’s fork clattered to his plate and Tensei gritted his teeth.

“His name is Kaito. He’s really sweet and really cute. He wants to take me out to dinner this week but I wanted him to meet you two first.” You smiled, looking up at your older brothers who were glaring daggers at their food.

Tenya spoke first.

“Where did you meet this man?”, he asked, his eyes burning a whole into the tablecloth.

“At the store as I was getting some groceries. He helped carry my bags to the car.” Your eyes flickered to both your brothers, confused at the tension in the air.

“So this man just picks up women at the grocery store?”, Tensei asked, his tone cold.

Your skin prickled.

“What? No, of course not. He saw I was struggling and offered to help me. Then we got to talking and…”

Tenya looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

“If you are having difficulty getting groceries, Tensei or I will join you so these men don’t prey on you. What if he had followed you home? Or attacked you in the car?”

You squeezed your eyes shut. How was this the conclusion they were reaching?

“Nothing happened! And clearly he is a nice man, as he wants to meet you and take me out.” Your voice wavered as 2 pairs of navy eyes stared you down.

“Is this who you’ve been texting?”, Tensei interrupted you.

You looked at him questioningly,

“Why does it matter who I’m–”

“ANSWER THE QUESTION.” Tenya’s hand slammed on the table.

Your lip trembled. Fighting back tears, you whispered. “Yes.”

Tensei looked exasperated. Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, he reached out to you and you flinched.

“We are just worried about you. You’re our sweet little sister and we want to make sure no one hurts you ever.”

Tenya reached out to your other arm.

“I apologize, dear sister. I just want you to be safe and unharmed.”

You stared blankly at the table, before turning from both of them and walking to your room, slamming the door.

------

As your phone buzzed on the couch that night, it wasn’t too difficult for your older brothers to figure out your password. And it was even easier to find this Kaito guy online and threaten him until he agreed to cut contact with you.

After all, your big brothers would always protect you.

-----

The next day, as you read and re-read the messages from Kaito, your heart broke. You curled up against your older brothers on the couch. 

“You were right.” You sobbed into Tensei’s shoulder, Tenya’s chest pressed against your back. “I should have never argued with you two.”

The boys held you close between them. 

“Shh, it’s okay. We’ll take care of you. Your big brothers are here for you.” Tenya pressed his lips to your hair as Tensei pulled you into his chest. You could hear his heartbeat through his thin shirt. You felt Tenya rub soft soothing circles on your back and you sniffled, turning so you could face both of them.

“I’m..*hic* sorry for being *hic* so emotional.” You choked out, rubbing your eyes. You blinked and both boys looked at you. They both had such adoration in their eyes and looked at you like you hung the moon. You knew they would always be there for you.

You kissed Tensei on the cheek and turned, kissing Tenya on the cheek. Both boys blushed furiously and your breath caught in your throat as they each pressed a kiss to your cheeks, slightly closer to your lips. 

Maybe it was the overwhelming emotions that filled you right now, or maybe it was always there, lying dormant inside of you. But you felt a tingle in your core and pressed another soft kiss to Tenya’s face, this time ghosting the edge of his lips before placing an identical one to Tensei.

Your body stilled as you waited to see what they would do. Tensei looked in your eyes before pressing his lips to yours. Your hand clutched at his shirt as he licked your lip. You opened your mouth to him and he hungrily tasted you. You broke apart, and Tenya took this opportunity to pull you towards him.

He slammed his lips to yours as Tensei kissed down your neck and collarbone. Where Tensei was confident in his kisses, Tenya was desperate. You moaned into Tenya’s mouth as Tensei bit a particularly sensitive spot on your neck. Your bodies were so close and you could feel Tenya’s erection through his pants, pressing against your thigh.

You pulled back. 

“We shouldn’t...I’m so sorry, this is…” You stammered,

Tensei kissed your temple and Tenya pressed his hand to your cheek.

“Let us take care of you, little sister. Let your big brothers make it all better.” 

Flustered you gave in to your body and continued reaching down, palming Tenya through his slacks. You felt his body shiver as you ran your fingers up and down the shaft. Pulling away from both of them you pulled off your sweater, revealing your body to them. Their cocks ached so much for you, and seeing you like this, in a way they had only imagined, turned them feral.

Tensei tugged at your legs, pushing you onto your back. You looked up at your big brothers and your eyes widened.

“You’re so beautiful.” Tensei whispered, his fingers tracing your belly. Tenya nodded, his eyes trained on your breasts in the lacy white bra you wore. He slid the strap down your shoulder and when you didn’t protest, unhooked the clasp in the front. Your breasts spilled out and he ran his fingers over your hardening nipples.

Tensei tugged down your legging and panties and you were naked before them, looking like a sweet lamb between two hungry wolves. He pressed a kiss to your lower belly, and you whimpered. His cerulean eyes met yours and you gave a soft nod for him to keep going. His lips met your folds and he lapped at your slit hungrily. Your hips bucked involuntarily and you could feel his grin against you.

“Easy now sweetheart, your big brother is going to take care of you.” His hands pressed your hips down firmly as he continued to devour your cunt.

Your eyes rolled back and you met Tenya’s eager eyes. His erection was pressing painfully through his pants and you tugged at the fabric, silently begging for him. He threw off his slacks and you could see the wet mark on the front of his boxers. Running your fingers over it, you opened your mouth and looked at him expectantly.

That was all it took. Tenya slid his boxers off, pressing the head of his dick against your soft lips. You gave kitten licks, staring into his eyes as best you could as you were still being tantalized by Tensei’s tongue. Tenya let out a grunt as you continued to tease his cock, slowly taking it deeper into your mouth. Tensei plunged his tongue deep inside you and you let out a loud moan around Tenya.

“F-fuck...so good, princess.” Tenya choked out, pulling you closer onto his cock. You felt yourself getting closer to climax as Tensei flicked his tongue over your clit. You gasped around Tenya’s thick member and he used this opportunity to push himself deeper down your throat. Stars danced in your eyes and your thighs strained under Tensei’s grip.

“That’s it baby girl, cum all over your big brother’s face.”

His lewd words, the taboo nature of it all, and the helplessness you felt as you choked on Tenya’s cock and were being held down by Tensei...you cried out as you gushed all over Tensei’s face. 

“Mmm….that’s it sweetheart.” Tensei murmured as he guzzled down your arousal. Your eyes fluttered and you whimpered as you Tenya lazily fucked your face.

Tensei looked at Tenya and wordlessly, the brothers switched places and you were flipped onto your knees. Tenya’s thick cock was pressed against your entrance and you gulped at how big it felt. He ran his hands over your hips.

“Shh...be a sweet little sister for your brothers.” 

Tensei’s cock was in front of your mouth and he tapped it on your mouth. You parted your lips and both brothers slid inside you. You gasped at the stretch and tried to turn your head towards Tenya, but Tensei gripped your face, and you swirled your tongue around his cock. 

“So tight...god...such a perfect little girl.” Tenya groaned, his fingertips digging into your skin. Tensei tugged your hair as he plunged deeper into your mouth. You bounced between the brother’s cocks as they worshipped your body, praising you for being their good girl.

“So beautiful, Y/N. You’re so good to us.” Tensei whispered.

You could feel Tenya’s thrusts getting sloppier as he pounded into you faster and faster. He pulled your arms behind your back, so you were at their mercy. Tensei’s cock was slamming the back of your throat, and Tenya was fucking you so deep you felt like you were going to pass out. Your limbs felt like jelly and the only thing holding you upright was the sheer force of them fucking you from each end.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck...gonna cum.” Tenya breathed out, his grip on you was almost painful and your arms were sore from how hard he tugged on them. Tensei seemed to be reaching his peak too, as his breaths were becoming ragged. You swallowed around his cock and he let out a deep groan, spilling his seed down your throat. You clenched around Tenya and he swore as he shot ropes of hot cum deep inside you. The twitching of his cock set you off and your muscles clenched as you whimpered out. You felt like sparks were fluttering from your nerves and the boys held you as you came down from your high. 

Your eyes closed and you could only faintly feel them cleaning you up and someone carrying you to your bed. Your hands reached out and you felt the bed shift as each man climbed into your pink bed on either side of you.

Content, you fell asleep between your big brothers.

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