#not to be gay but it felt like that winter adventure thing they did in 2009(?) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arlana-likes-to-write · 2 years

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Somebody to You by the Banners

Final Part of The Adventure of Y/n Barton and Yelena Belova

Summary: After a month of being apart, you and Yelena finally talk. Will this talk bring you back together or further part?

Warning: jealousy, fluff, Yelena experiences gay panic,

Word count: 3.8k

“Alright,” You whispered. “Let’s talk.” Yelena prided herself to be someone that didn’t get nervous. She looked death in the face and beat it. She had her life altered by a man who saw himself as God and she walked away from him alive. She grieved the death of her sister and rejoiced when she came back. But staring into your eyes under the low light of the alley with snowflakes slowly falling down, Yelena was nervous.

Beautiful, Yelena thought. You giggled. Wait, did she say that out loud? Yelena’s eyes widened. “Well I appreciate the compliment but I don't think that we are here to talk about my appearance.” She felt her cheeks heat up. You laughed, throwing your head back and it was the best sound Yelena’s heard.

“I’m mad at you.” Yelena pouted, with no real malice. It was easy to go back into this joking banter with you. Once your laughter died down, you looked back at Yelena with a smile.

“That’s a shame,” You said. “Because I don’t hate you.” Such a simple statement but it casted away any doubt and fear Yelena was having. “Do you want to try this whole talking thing again?” Yelena had lost the ability to speak. You were so close to her. The cold winter air didn’t bother her because your abnormal high body temperature kept her warm. She nodded. “Alright,” You said. “Let’s talk.” You repeated. Talk. There was so much Yelena wanted to say. She’s been practicing for a week - everything she needed to apologize for. But standing so close to you, the only thought in her mind was how much she wanted to kiss you.

“Yelena,” You said. “It’s just us. Do you want me to go first?” Yelena shook her head. “Okay, just tell me what’s going on in your head.” She was brought back to that night. ‘I want to know what’s going on in your head.’ That is what you said to her.

“I uh I-shit.” You smiled. Gods, she really wanted to kiss you. “I’m thinking about how much I want to kiss you.” Your eyes got wide. “But before that happens, if you let me.” She added quickly. “I need to apologize.” Yelena let out a shaky breath. “I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry how I ended things. I’m sorry I knew something was wrong and I didn’t say anything.” She was word vomiting so she stopped and tried to clear her throat, it was very dry. “You are right, you aren’t me.” She watched the realization wash over your face. “And I don’t want you to be me. I want you to be you because you are light, happiness, and love.” Her throat began to burn as she kept her tears at bay. “It was wrong for me to tell you to move on. I’m sorry.”

You knew you were crying - smiling but crying as Yelena spoke. As she said her piece weight lifted off your shoulders. “I’m sorry too. It wasn’t just on you that our relationship erupted into flames like it did. I should have talked to you. When you were going to find help, that man said some stuff to me.” Yelena frowned, taking your other hand.

“What did he say to you?” She asked. You didn’t answer right away, looking down at your connected hands.

“He told me that I was the reason we were caught. That I made you weak. He also said that my own father didn’t want me. He asked when you were going to leave me because I’m nothing.”

“Oh dorogy,” She dropped your hands and cradled your face with her hands, whipping away your tears. “That monster was wrong. You are not my weakness but my strength. You mean everything to me. Do you understand?” You nodded. “I don’t wanna die or fade away. I don’t wanna dive and disappear without a trace. I just wanna be someone.” You chuckled.

“Well, doesn’t everyone?” You asked.

“I wanna be somebody to someone. I never had nobody and no road home.” She confessed. It broke your heart Yelena believed she had nobody in her corner, that nobody cared about her. You understood though. You covered her hands with yours.

“Yelena, kiss me.” It took a minute for your request to register for the woman in front of you.

“Are you sure?” She asked. “I know I said I want to, but if you aren’t ready then I’ll wait.” You rolled your eyes but your heart fluttered at how caring she was. You moved your hands behind her neck and pulled her close. Your lips weren’t touching yet. She moved her hands to your waist, tentatively. But when you didn’t show any signs of discomfort - her hold on your waist tightened.

“I’ve missed you so much, solnishko.” You said, against her lips. The dam broke that you knew the Russian was trying to hold together as tears ran down her face.

“I’ve missed you too.” It was all she needed to connect her lips with yours. It was a feeling you missed so much - being able to be this close with Yelena. She ended the kiss with a smile on her face.

“We need to talk more about us.” You said. “But tonight can we just be together?” She nodded, kissing your forehead, letting her lips linger on your skin.

“No place I’d rather be.” You reentered the Avenger Tower with Yelena’s hand in yours. You caught Kate’s eyes and she gave you a big smile and a thumbs up. “Dork.” You heard Yelena mumble and although she wasn’t wrong, you hit her on the shoulder.

“Be nice.” You stopped walking when you got closer to the table. “Are you hungry?” You asked. The SHIELD agent was gone, thankfully. But you wanted to spend more time with Yelena before the hoard of questions. The Russian picked up on your hesitation.

“I haven’t eaten all day.” Yelena confessed. You gave her a look that caused Yelena to cringe. “I was an anxious mess from the idea of seeing you.” Well that’s adorable. You gave her a quick kiss on the check and led her to the buffet. There was a line but you didn’t care. “So,” Yelena said, after a pass of silence. “How have you been?” She asked, handing you a plate.

“I’ve been okay,” You answered, piling food on your plate. You didn’t realize how hungry you were either. “I think being home helped a lot. Especially since I missed so much of my siblings growing up because I hated being home.” Yelena nodded, grabbing a spoonful of mac and cheese. You laughed silently, shaking your head. “How about you? How have you been?” Yelena tensed up and you feared you overstepped.

“I’m going to therapy.” You almost dropped your food in shock. “Close your mouth or you’ll eat a fly.”

“Sorry.” You were stunned to say the least. “That’s great. I’m proud of you.” Yelena shrugged, adding hot sauce to her food.

“I should have gone when we got back.” She said, “Sam helped me find one and I start in the new year.” You were proud of her. It took a lot of strength to admit you needed help. “I want to be better for you so this will work.” You nodded.

“Go for yourself too.” You said. “Don’t do it for others.”

“I am. I promise I am.” Instead of walking back to the table, Yelena grabbed your free hand and led you to the bar. You sat down at empty seats and ordered drinks. “Can I ask you something?” You nodded, a mouth full of food. “Who was the girl sitting next to you?” You took a sip of your drink. You wondered when she was going to bring her up, noticing the hint of jealousy in her voice.

“A SHIELD agent, to be honest I don’t remember her name.” That made Yelena smile. “She came up to me and just started talking and touching me.” Anger flashed in the Russian’s eyes. You grabbed her free hand. “It’s fine. Apparently what happened to us in Russia is the talk of the town with the new agents.” Yelena squeezed your hand. “I’m okay, Lena. I promise.” Yelena nodded, kissing the back of your hand. You ate your food in silence, enjoying the way Yelena held your hand and her thumb moved back and forth. The bartender refilled your glasses and collected the empty plates.

“Ready to go back?” Yelena asked. You sighed, nodding. You couldn’t hide forever. You stood up and walked back to the table. Kate was sitting over there now talking with your father. You sat back down in your seat and Yelena sat in the now empty one. No one batted an eye or made a comment but you did see your dad smile and wink at you. You noticed Yelena visibly relaxed next to you when your mom began to speak with her. You smiled, feeling happier and freer than ever. This was your family.

Yelena didn’t know how to describe this feeling in her chest. Her hand never left yours as you both carried on your own conversations. Your voice, laughter, and smile made Yelena feel as if she was floating. She was worried that your parents were going to say something and they did in their own way. Clint gave her a look that spoke loud and clear - don’t hurt her again. Yelena nodded. Laura asked how she was doing and how working as an Avenger was treating her. It felt nice to be surrounded by everyone again. “Excuse me everyone,” Sam said, standing up and straightening his tie. “Duty calls.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“You are giving a speech not saving someone from a burning building.” Bucky said. Sam gasped in mock offense, clutching his chest.

“You wound me good sir.” Sam joked, the table laughed at their interaction as Bucky slapped his boyfriend playfully.

“Better you than me.” Steve mumbled, the comment didn’t go on deaf ears.

“Not missing the spotlight, Rogers?” Clint asked, grasping his hand on the super soldier’s shoulder. Steve shook his head.

“Getting too old for it.” Natasha’s laugh was the loudest at the table.

“See a fossil. We should pack you up and send you to the Smithsonian.” Yelena shook her head as Steve’s cheeks turned pink.

“You know what Romanoff -” Steve’s threat was cut off by a microphone turning on as the billionaire took the stage. Sam gave the table a salute and ran off, quickly moving to the stairs of the stage.

“Hello everyone,” Tony’s voice boomed through the lobby. “I do hope you are enjoying yourself. As the man who signs the cheek after this I have to make sure my money was well spent.” The billionaire’s joke got a few laughs.

“Please,” Natasha said, rolling her eyes. “You’d throw a party every day till the new year without hearing our opinion.” Yelena chuckled, shaking her head. It was nice seeing this side of her sister, openly joking around with her friends. It was another piece of evidence that they were free. Tony shook his head.

“She’s not wrong. But,” he clapped his hands together. “I am not one for speeches. I’ll leave it to that guy.” He pointed to Sam, who waved. “I do want to say how thankful I am for all of us to be able to be together again. When the holidays came around in 2018, I didn’t think we’d get a chance to celebrate together again.” A heavy silence filled the lobby and you gave Yelena’s hand a tight squeeze, leaning into her. She wrapped her arms arounds you. “We’ve been through a lot together and I wouldn’t want to go through with anyone else. So before I get more emotional please help me welcome to the stage Sam Wilson.” Everyone clapped as Captain America walked up the stage and gave a quick hug to Tony.

“I’ll keep this short because I know the night is still young and we are here to celebrate with one another and get drunk, not listen to me talk.” Yelena felt you chuckle. “I’d first like to thank Tony for signing the check and Pepper who actually planned this party.” Tony flipped Sam off as Pepper smacked him on the chest. “And all of the workers that have to deal with us.” Sam sighed, looking around the room. “When Tony asked if I wanted to speak at the Christmas party, I was hesitant. How was I supposed to write a speech that conveyed the emotions of an entire room? Do I focus on what and who’ve we lost or do I talk about how we are walking towards a better future?” Sam shrugged. “Even as I stand in front of you, I’m still unsure and I think that is okay. I’m unsure what to talk about. I’m unsure what tomorrow is going to bring me. I’m unsure what is waiting for me as soon as I walk off this stage.

“We can’t change the past even though it’s human or God or Guardian nature, even when we now have the ability to go back into time because we don’t know how it will affect the now. Even though a small green stone gives us the ability to see into the future, should we look? I guess what I am trying to get at is, we can only focus and live in the now. We have to treasure the time we have with the people we love and not worry about what’s going to happen a week, a month, a year from now.” He smiled. “And as I look around this room and remember all the good, the bad, and the ugly memories I have with everyone of you; I can’t help but feel grateful to be a part of this beautiful family. Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Holidays.”

After Sam’s speech, you found yourself in the sitting area with the ‘Young Avengers’ as Tony and Sam liked to call them - they were training to take over the Avenger mantle. You and Yelena were sitting together - her legs laid across you and your hand was playing with the rings on her fingers. To be honest, you weren’t listening to the conversation around you. You knew they were playing an intense game of ‘would you rather?’ “So,” Shuri said, stopping the game. “When are you going to join us Y/n?” The question directed at you snapped out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry?” You questioned. “Like the game - I rather not debate on who I think is better in bed with people I grew up with.” You cringed. Kate and Yelena laughed. Shuri rolled her eyes and smiled. You didn’t like the smile.

“No, I mean the Young Avengers.” Oh. Oh. It wasn’t the first time someone asked if you were going to follow in your father’s footsteps and you knew it wasn’t going to be the last. Yelena sat up, noticing the shift in the conversation.

“You are kind of a badass.” Kamala added.

“And I bet you could give better hero speeches than Peter.” Cassie mumbled, the comment caused Peter to throw a small pillow at her. You smiled with a shrug.

“I don’t think I’ll be joining you guys. Never really thought about being an Avenger.” You chuckled. “Besides I may give my old man a heart attack if I join the team and I can’t risk that.” They laughed and they went back to the game besides Yelena, who kept her eyes on you. You gave her a smile and nodded. It was true. You never wanted to be an Avenger as you’ve seen the pain that comes with the title. From being at the tower when Ultron first attacked, seeing the team beaten and broken after their fight with Maximoff twins, holding it together when you learned your father was kidnapped and controlled by Loki, and the battle with Thanos and his children. But you were special, unique, and had abilities that most people would love to have. Was it selfish of you to not use them to help make the world a better place? You weren’t sure.

Yelena knew Shuri’s question affected you more than you were willing to show to the group. The DJ faded out the current song and an instrumental version of ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ began to play. She watched a few couples move to the dance floor - Clint and Laura, Wanda and Natasha, Tony and Pepper, and even Kate and America. Yelena set her drink on the side table and stood up, holding out her hand. “Dance with me?” You looked at her hand with a smile and took it. Yelena found a more private spot on the dance floor and put her hands on your hips and you put your arms around her neck. “Do you want to talk about what happened back there?” Yelena asked. You sighed, biting the inside of your check.

“Do you think I should be an Avenger?” Yelena was startled by the question. Before she could answer you continued, “I understand why you joined when we first got back, even though it was unhealthy.” You joked. Yelena rolled her eyes. “But it makes sense for me to become one, you know? My parents were both SHIELD agents and my dad was an Avenger. Natasha helped raise me. I mean all of this,” You gestured around the Avenger lobby. “Has been my entire life. Fury has asked me to join the team every time he sees me. Am I wasting -” Yelena connected her lips with yours. You let out a surprise squeak but soon kissed her back. She pulled away. “Did you just kiss me so I’d stop rambling?” You asked.

“Yes.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Rude.”

“I’m not going to tell you what to do.” Yelena started. “I’ll support you if you decide to join the team or if you don’t.” You nodded. “Join because you want to join, not because that is what others think you should do.” Yelena twirled you in a circle and brought you back in her arms. You giggled. “I don’t need to change the world. I’d make the moon shine just for you. If you feel like the night is falling I want to be the one you're calling.” You played with the baby hairs at the base of her neck, sending a shiver down Yelena’s spine.

“You are someone, somebody to me.” You whispered. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” Yelena promised. “You won’t. I’m not going anywhere.” Yelena was unsure of the future with her being involved with the Avengers and unknown threats still lurking. Even if the sun started to set and the sky went cold, she could make her way home to you.

Christmas Morning - Plaza Hotel

You woke up to the feeling of fingers running through your hair. You groaned and opened your eyes, blinking away sleep. “Merry Christmas, zolotse.” Yelena said, looking down at you. You looked up at the Russian. Her braid was messy from sleep and her sleep shirt was handing off her shoulder. You missed this, falling asleep with Yelena in your arms.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” You gave her a brief kiss. “I have something to give you.”

“You got me a present?” Yelena questioned.

“Yes and no.” You rolled over and opened the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out a white envelope. You sat up before handing it to her. She took the envelope with shaky hands. Steadying herself, she opened it and pulled out a key.

“Is this?” She asked. You nodded.

“The apartment is still in my name,” You sighed. “I’m not sure what tomorrow is going to bring me and like Sam said, I’m okay with it. But I do know I want you to be there by my side.” Yelena closed her hand around the key. “When I figure it out, do you want to move back in with me?” You asked.

“Yes.” She answered without hesitation. You smiled.

“Cool.” You nodded.

“Cool.” She repeated. You laughed, closing the gap between you two. Before your lips touched, banning on your door caused both of you to jump back.

“You better have clothes on!” Copper said. You groaned, blushing. Yelena chuckled, shaking her head. Gods, you wanted to kill your older brother sometimes. “We do.” You called out to your brother. The door swung open and Nathaniel came running in, jumping onto your bed, and crawled onto your lap.

“Get up! Get up!” He said, grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you. Yelena and your other siblings laughed at the youngest Barton’s actions. Lila and Cooper joined him on the bed. “Santa came last night! We have presents to open!”

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” You chuckled, pushing him off of you. He landed between you and Yelena with a groan.

“Dad is having a meltdown because we are on a ‘time crunch’.” Litla said, adding the air quotes. You rolled your eyes.

“He needs to learn how to relax.” Yelena said.

“I heard that, Belova.” Your dad yelled. “Now hurry up, breakfast is getting cold.” The mention of food got everyone out of bed. You glanced at Yelena as she attached the key to one of her necklaces and put it on. Your heart fluttered as you followed your siblings to the living room area of the hotel suite. The Christmass tree that was bare the night before had colorful presents around it. You, Yelena, and your parents were running on very little sleep to set everything up. But it was worth it seeing the excitement in your siblings' faces. Nathaniel ran over to the presents and looked over the presents.

“Lena!” He said, pointing. “You have presents too.”

“I have presents.” She said, slowly.

“Eat then presents.” Laura said, with a smile. She handed Yelena a plate of food. “Merry Christmas.” You gave the Russian’s hand a squeeze, noticing she was getting a little overwhelmed.

“Merry Christmas.” She said, finding her voice. Your family sat around the tree. Your dad kept having to stop Nathaniel from opening the presents too early while your mom went over the plan for the day - presents hare, meeting up with Natasha and Wanda, then back to the tower. It was going to be a busy and tiring day but you were grateful for your family.

He was wrong. You were somebody to a lot of people. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A niece. A girlfriend. He didn’t win. He was locked away in a cell while you were free. “What’s got you smiling like that?” Yelena whispered to you. You looked at her.

“Just happy.” She kissed your forehead.

“Me too, zolotse. Me too.”

The End.

Just like that the main story of The Adventure of Y/n Barton and Yelena Belova has come to an end! I want to thank everyone who took time out of their day to read this story; which started has a little one shot evolved into a 6 part series!

Now what is next? I do have three drabbles planned for this AU; the talk between Y/n and Clint, how Y/n and Yelena met, and a cute moment where Y/n helps Yelena through a nightmare! However, we learned a lot about this AU with these last two parts so if you want me to go into specifics please let me know! I have some ideas floating around but would love to see what you guys are interested in!

Thank you! Your support means the world to me!

#yelena belova #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x reader #The Adventure of Y/N Barton and Yelena Belova #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel one shot #Black Widow #black widow fanfiction #white widow

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jade7b · 4 months

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Gojo/Geto x reader

Chapter 2

The first chapter is up here!

As Always, let me know if there are errors!

( Italian gurl pretending to translate her fanfics in english)ಠ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ಠ

BETWEEN TWO FIRES

Chapter 2

Suguru wasn’t just annoyed, he was immensely pissed.

That night, he found your phone number almost by accident.

He had been looking at your profile picture for a while, enjoying your wonderful features, disfigured by the scar he had inflicted on you.

It had been tremendously sad to leave Jujutsu Tech, but he had done it with the knowledge of how rotten that system was.

Of all his fellow warlocks, you and Satoru were the ones he most regretted.

It was something he would never admit, he had to be strong, and not just for himself, but for you.

On the other hand, he knew it, you were such a beautiful and pretty thing, and in the midst of a world of sorcerers and cursed spirits you were like a flower in the winter snow.

Your sweet face spoke for itself, completely in conflict with the shriveled scar. It still looked like a charm.

Was he obsessed with you? Maybe.

He had a feeling that being by your side could hurt you, impregnated you with his disgusting curses.

If he tried to touch you, he was sure he would get you dirty.

Yet the feeling of power that left him this awareness was not unpleasant.

The idea of making you completely his, of ruining you, was one of his greatest perversions.

So, when he wrote to you, and he didn’t get an immediate response, he started getting agitated.

Who were you with?

What were you doing?

Why didn’t you answer him?

What if you changed your number?

As he realized that reacting in such an exaggerated manner made no sense, he heard his room door open.

« Geto-sama...», Nanako had entered weeping, «I had a bad dream».

The blinking lights of the four arrows of a taxi stunned your eyes.

You hated the city, and all the hustle and bustle that followed. Even though you’ve been living in Tokyo for years, you’d never get used to its routine.

You had always lived in a small village adjacent to the sea.

The coast was your home, as was the foamy sea and the sand you loved to tread on barefoot.

Here instead the only thing you could see were the large skyscrapers that were lost in the sky, the noisy cars and the swarming masses of people.

As if it had been a great anthill, Tokyo used to run you over with its worker ants, who, even though it was late, were still around with the briefcase in hand.

It was barely 22:00, the nightclubs were crowded already from nine, and you were still, glued to the screen of your phone, while you carried a smoking cigarette to your lips.

Golden Gai had been a post-war black market and then a brothel, turned into a pub village. It was a great place for young people and for those looking for adventure and some drinking. This traditional "drinking district", consisting of narrow streets filled with dozens of tiny bars, was a tangle of endless signs and lights.

Your decision to show up for the appointment was made after several mental collapses.

You cried an hour in Gojo’s fancy bathtub, and you didn’t stop.

You continued your nervous outburst on your way home, in the kitchen table while you tried to eat a bite of sautéed salmon rice, and on the way to Suguru’s designated location in the message.

You felt so stupid, so emotionally down and pathetic.

You did what you could while trying to cover your red eyes and red nose.

When you cried, your face turned red, lately it was something you couldn’t stand.

You hated seeing the redness peeping out more and more at every tear, not to mention how the corners around your eyes burned.

Your sensitive skin after several hours, could no longer stand the salty and wet liquid of your tears.

What about that scar? You found it disgusting.

A car horn shook you from your thoughts.

You sucked nicotine into one last, needy shot. As you noticed the combustion getting more insistent, you noticed a hand approaching the cigarette butt.

Long, tapered fingers took the cigarette from your lips, leading your eyes to follow it.

«This is one of Shoko’s bad habits».

Your lips tightened, your blood bubbled as your cheeks turned red.

Two obsidian beads peered down at you, not letting you escape.

If only your legs had allowed you to escape from that situation, you would have done it immediately, but the surprise effect had glued you to the pavement.

«Hello», he said it so casually, that for a moment you wondered if he was actually the exact same guy you’d met in school.

Standing straight, you frowned as you watched your last shot fall, and then vanish, crushed under Suguru’s shoe.

«At the end you came, I’m happy», he continued with a smile, carrying his hands in his pockets.

Your feelings were mixed. If in one hand you wanted to throw your arms around his neck, on the other you still felt the weight of the unpleasant events, those that had affected your face smeared with blood.

You hoped he would look at your scar and feel bad. You hoped he would feel guilty, you prayed he wouldn’t sleep at night.

«I am not, I am not happy», you had hissed imitating him, carrying your hands in the pockets of the jacket.

«Oh», he had looked at you more intensely, «I don’t feel like I forced you».

Suguru was not a simple soul to talk to. He was smart, always ready to trick you, and since you weren’t stupid, you avoided responding to his provocations.

«If you have to speak, do it now», your look was intensified.

You assumed from the texts he sent you, he had some issues to sort out.

«Oh, I meant to do it while we were sitting, maybe while having a drink», he kept that mysterious veil on himself, as he always tried to have a monopoly on you and your decisions.

He was manipulative, what did you expect?

«Your fingertips are frozen and your nose is red. You are trembling like a leaf, let's go inside», he had offered you his hand, but you had hit it with an elbow, walking beyond, refusing his kindness and ignoring his care for you.

You know, it was just a trick.

«Ok...», you said frosty.

The place he chose was one of those pubs where music broke your eardrums.

The eavy metal band that sounded, seemed quite influential, you had noticed it by the number of people under the small stage.

The cramped place, too small to hold all those people, made you slightly agitated.

To make matters worse, it was Suguru’s chest colliding with your back.

«Sorry», he had told you leaning his hands along your arms, «they pushed me».

You sighed as your heart was about to explode.

His perfume had not changed over the years, perhaps in addition you only noticed a slight hint of bergamot, lightened by what could be the scent of his shampoo and body wash.

You had swallowed, fortunately the pounding music had the power to cover the sound of your heart.

«Come, I booked a more secluded table», he had whispered in your ear.

You now understood why he chose Shinjuku as a meeting place.

It was known that the neighborhood was the busiest in Tokyo, but at the same time it was known as a red light district.

If you had to mix easily in the crowd, that’s where you had to take refuge in Shinjuku.

And since Suguru was a wanted criminal, it didn’t seem strange.

The pub was poorly lit, with secluded rooms, and it didn’t take much to understand why.

Not when you saw a rundown woman being dragged into one of the private cabins between disgusting kisses.

You followed Suguru’s broad shoulders through the hallway full of rooms, trying to avoid the thirsty looks of men and women now more than shine.

If there was one thing that you could not stand, it was these uncomfortable situations, in fact, when you had preceded Suguru, entering the room, you had taken a breath of relief.

As the sorcerer closed the door, you began to relax your ears, sitting at the foot of a solid wood kotatsu.

Same thing Suguru did, standing right in front of you.

«Are you ok?» while you were taking off your jacket, you had skipped to answer his question.

«What do you want Suguru? After all this time, not even a stupid message, an insignificant call, and now? What happened?» You didn’t want to go around the obvious.

Suguru looked at you, leaning an elbow in the coffee table, and holding his chin on the palm of his hand, he smiled at you.

«I have already told you, things are not left half-»

«I don’t know what you are talking about, Suguru. The more I look at you, the more I get angry».

Geto's hand had approached yours, he had clutched it, bringing you near him.

«I just wanted to see you, Izumi».

«I don’t believe you», you sayed, escaping from its clutches.

«Do you really believe that, after all that you have done, I will be condescending?».

«No, but you could at least let me speak».

His eyes had become darker, a shadow had crept into his features, and for a moment you had a slight fear.

You knew how much Suguru had above your abilities, not for nothing he was a special level, while you had stopped at the first level.

Feeling his aura change, your shadow began to stretch.

«Hold it at bay, I’m not going to hurt you».

«Then change that fucking attitude!» You said, as you tried to calm your dark shadow that was slowly growing on the wall behind you.

«Are you still struggling to contain emotions? Are you afraid? Is that why that thing is so agitated?».

With a fit of rage, caught in the act, you had a hand to the collar of his sweatshirt.

«You are wrong».

«All right», he said, raising his hands as a sign of surrender, «then let’s talk civilly, will you?».

Geto’s eyes were studying you, he was probably the only person in the world to understand your emotions completely.

So when you denied your fear and he went along with it, you knew he did it just to please your pride.

You were afraid of him, yes.

That was the truth, but could he blame you?

He killed an entire village, his parents, and then he was gone.

He was a mass murderer, he had completely lost his mind, and while you had been wondering for years why such an extreme gesture, you had come to the conclusion that you didn’t want to know.

The only ones who saw him last were Shoko and Satoru, but you stayed at Jujutsu Tech, thinking about your sins alone, without anyone knowing.

On that fateful day in fact, Suguru was not alone.

You had joined his mission, lately you saw him always gloomy and sad: maybe he would have liked a little company.

That day where everything changed, in that small and narrow village you were there too, and what did you do to stop him? The only thing you tried to do was to throw yourself on a child’s body to save him, and now, a terrible scar shriveled in your face.

Your greatest guilt, which you still kept secret, was that you couldn’t stop him.

And while he was killing and dismembering, you stood by, covered in blood and fear.

The child looked at you with desperate eyes before dying in your arms, and it was your fault.

Suguru was only seventeen years old, he was gentle, calm, always protecting the weak and always respectful of others.

You never expected to see his degenerate look as he killed and beheaded in cold blood.

The realisation was like a lightning in the clear sky, and even today, in your nightmares you dreamed of his impervious face full of drops of blood returning to your kneeling figure.

«It doesn't matter if you didn't react, Izumi», those words roused you from your intrusive thoughts, taking you back to the walls of the room.

You looked at him, setting your eyes in his.

«It doesn’t matter», he continued, «you couldn’t have done anything».

Suguru had watched your scar break down as your eyes filled with tears.

Those comforting words, though they came from him, were so surreal to you; you had endured your pain alone for five long years, and now hearing the words you always wanted to hear made you feel less guilty.

«Do they know?» he asked you, tilting his head to the side.

You shook your head, wiping your tears with your sweater sleeve.

If they didn’t know you were with Suguru, they didn’t even know that the ugly scar that disfigured your face was his fault.

The makeup you wore melted, leaving you exposed.

You were wondering if he was able to see your imperfections now, as well as the scar.

The small illuminated room didn’t let Suguru miss any of your expressions.

Tears were still burning in the corner of your eyes, and your nose had definitely turned red. You hated that feeling.

The more you thought about what happened, the tighter your stomach became.

«You could have come with me», the statement had left you stunned.

The violet light of the room now gave way to a bright red light, following the RGB change of the lamp.

«Sure, and be labeled as a murderer? Don’t make me laugh Suguru», your sharp words made the deep sea more and more unlivable.

«Yes, but you wouldn’t have kept living like that, would you?» your eyes lowered.

You looked at your hands while you tortured your cuticles. What you had to endure over the years was something you would not wish for anyone.

Even Satoru didn’t know; you hid your bad mood under your mother’s untimely death. This led him to think that the main problem was the disease that took her away from you as well as an oppressive and patriarchal father.

«The offer is still valid», he said, observing you.

«Don’t say shit», you complained, «I have my life to live».

His eyes chained you, they were different from Satoru’s, they put you in terrible awe.

As usual he was unpredictable and you didn’t know what to expect from him.

«Yes? I thought you had devoted yourself more to surviving», his words were sharp as your pride struck you.

«It is more honorable to live this way, than to do it as you are doing it», you had not managed to contain yourself.

«And Satoru needs me».

Geto bent his lips upwards, his hair falling down his shoulders as he moved, «Remember this, Izumi: Satoru doesn’t need anyone, isn’t he the strongest? Unless you mean otherwise».

You stiffened to the allusion, «this Is not your business».

Suguru wrinkled his lips, «Oh~, you opened your legs to him?».

You got up suddenly, slamming your hands in the coffee table, You know what? If you have nothing better to tell me I think that I will go, I do not want to be jerked off by you!».

You took the vest behind you and started getting dressed.

«Sit down», the tone he used did not allow for discussion.

Out of the corner of your eye, you looked at him.

«Why should I?» you challenged him.

«I said, sit down», he didn’t need to raise his voice, he was already intimidating enough while his face was pounding.

When the maid entered the cabin, she had brought two straps, two glasses and a small transparent ampoule. You thought it would contain Saké.

«Are you guys okay?»

«Yes, thank you», the change in Suguru’s face left you stunned.

His eyes closed gently and his lips bent upwards in a sweet smile that reminded you of who he once were.

«Perfect! Make yourself comfortable while choosing what to order-»

«I’ll take a Craft Gin Smash», you had interrupted her, resembling yourself in the soft pillow.

«The same», Suguru said, relaxing his nerves when he saw you sitting.

«Sure, two Gin Smash then», taking in her hands the price lists, the maid vanished behind the sliding door, while the light, passed again to purple.

The silence was interrupted only by the muffled music of the club, you were not going to say anything... what would you say?

«Satoru has been busy», he had provoked you, pouring the contents of the ampoule on the two shot glasses, «beyond this how is he?».

You would have liked to answer badly for the umpteenth time, but taking in your hands the small glass container you had opted for a more mature approach.

You had therefore avoided the arrow, swallowing the first sip of that transparent drink.

« None of us are okay. Since Riko and Haibara’s death, it’s been like an endless dark tunnel. Not to mention the crap you did», your throat burned while you had sent down the second sip.

«Nanami has retired from Jujutsu, Shoko does not speak to me or to Satoru, and then he...», you had restrained your mouth, thinking about the sessions of brutal sex to which he subjected you.

It was handsome, sure, but it was obvious he was using you to ease his upset.

As you thought about the nights you spent being brutally hammered, you wondered if he really wanted your well-being or maybe he just didn’t want his.

You were best friends, your relationship stopped being that, he didn't love you, you were aware of it, and yet day after day, you thought that this relationship was slowly emptying you out.

His pent-up anger was all over you, and when Suguru noticed the small hematoma peeping out of your high-neck sweater, he brought a hand towards your face, raising it towards his own.

Two fingers were running down your neck, stopping over the bluish skin.

«You can say "no", you know this? Satoru does not know his limits, not even those of others».

His voice, sweet as honey, caressed the strings of the soul in pain that you were.

«Why do you worry?» you asked, moving his hand apart, «I must remind you how I got this scar? What Satoru does to me is nothing in comparison».

The sense of emptiness was becoming more and more overwhelming in your chest.

Suguru remained silent, moving his hand back to your injured cheek.

«It suits you», he said, leaving you speechless.

You didn’t believe your ears when he told you something so vile.

«I am convinced it keeps you tied to me, more than you would like».

Saying "I’m sorry," it didn’t seem like it was the sorcerer’s will.

Red with rage, you had tried to respond without succeeding.

While Suguru was showing discomfort, seeing the hematoma in your tender neck, you were reeling at his provocation.

«I have often thought of you in these years».

«That sucks», you said thinking about what he had just said.

«Disgusting?» he repeated, stroking your cheek, hooking his thumb on your rosy lips.

He stroked them, opening them slightly.

«I have not forgotten, and you?».

Your heart had taken a few extra leaps as his thumb worked its way inside your mouth.

His slightly rough finger had come into contact with your tongue.

Looking for it, he began to caress it, giving you several chills.

«Allow me to be beside you», he said, leaning with his other hand over your shoulder.

«Allow me to protect you».

His thumb had wet your soft lips with your own saliva.

«I heard that your mother passed away. Your father is pressuring you, isn’t it? And your work as a sorcerer? I knew that you were going to die a few months ago. Without me you are nothing, you can’t anything, Izumi».

Waking up from the trance, you shook your head, slapping his hand away.

«I know to look after myself!».

You didn’t even wait for your cocktail to arrive, that you took your jacket in your hands, ready to leave.

«You need me».

His eyes were so sharp, you swore he could get past you.

«I’ll be fine this time too, if I get killed, make sure to bring me at least one stupid flower».

Angry, you just opened your mouth without thinking.

It was too much.

You wanted to disappear, you wanted to stop your intrusive thoughts, you hated the way Suguru’s touch and voice made you feel.

It was like a sweet addiction, and yet you knew that if you gave in it would completely wipe you out.

He made you feel pampered and safe, perhaps because no one else knew the truth that tormented you.

But you knew he was a spider ready to lure you into his web.

«I shouldn’t have come», you said, and then snuck through the door.

You thought it was over while you were retracing the corridor.

The music was deafening, the people so many to make you vulnerable and when a hand clinged to your wrist, you almost didn’t release your shadow to slay the victim.

Without realizing what was going on, you found yourself with your back against the wall and a large body blocking you.

Meanwhile, your shadow danced eerily, manifesting the tension you felt. The situation seemed suspended between the impending chaos and the search for a way out that would not endanger the lives of others.

«Come on Izumi, hurt me if you want it».

Suguru's voice.

His perfume entered your brain, giving you an adrenaline rush.

The blood had gone to your head, and you felt your temples beating frantically to the beat of your heart.

«I tried to go easy on you, but you just don’t want to understand, did you?» his nose approached your neck.

«Now stay still, okay?» your body was motionless, your eyes wide, while his mouth was resting in your jaw.

He gave you a wet kiss before he started talking.

«I’m not going to repeat it twice, so listen carefully», your body was stiff under his touch, so much that he began to hurt your spine.

«What-»

«Shut up», he grabbed your side, making you collided with him.

As much as you wanted to answer, you were silent, too agitated to say a word.

«In these days I will write you, answer, I don’t care what you are doing, you will answer».

The threat made you frown, «I won’t do anything you want-»

«Oh, you will», it vigorously pinched you a side, provoking you a long shake of pain.

«You don’t want certain things to be known, do you?» your eyes widened, not believing in the blackmail he had put you in front of.

Was it really the Suguru you always knew? Something told you no, as you listened to his words.

«You will do what I will ask to you, no matter what, you will do it».

You wanted to be stronger to kick his ass right now, but you knew that wasn’t one of the most reasonable options.

The harshness of his words was like a slap in the face.

He broke away from you, allowing you to breathe, while with an indecipherable look he abandoned you along the pub corridor.

You were in so much trouble.

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lordrandreaming · 9 months

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Unwanted Arcana opinion that might put me in hot water below:

I think the writing is incredibly lackluster, for personalities, interactions, and so on.

I noticed, as I neared the end of Julian's route, the writing lost it's fire. It seemed.. Confused. Like whoever wrote it had no idea where this was all going. You can tell, there was a change in writing.

Lucio, Muriel, and Portia are especially victims of this sudden change, because it just felt like they were given 'filler' personalities and stories. No one is hit harder than Portia. Followed by Muriel.. Followed by Lucio.

Now I like Lucio. But.. He wasn't done justice. You can say, that living the pampered life turned this count whos been in various bloody fights, raised out in the cold harsh winter environment, would make him this squishy, soggy idiot we know.

But.. His characterisation really could have been better. I see him more as 'Sorry not sorry I did that lol' not 'I need everyone to forgive me or im crying' (its not actually like that, but it's pretty close.) And then fucking off for adventure.

In my opinion, which yes, is just an opinion, Lucio should have stayed in Vesuvia and make up for what he's done by lending a helping hand. Yes everyone hates him, as he was written to be the *worst* character..

I think it's unfair what happened to all the routes by the end. Im assuming, If Julain's near-ending was so cobbled together, that Nadia and Asra's routes suffer the same fate.

As a writer, I care about the character's I am writing. I can see clearly that in the end, none of the M6 were cared about. They were made to be appealing and draw people in, because it was "the Thing" at the time.

It makes me incredibly sad, that now I see how cobbled together everything is. Some amount of thought went into the story, but it could have been so much better..

There isn't alot to do, for one. And I know.. 'Its just a game!' However, as a consumer of said media, it's extremely lacking and doesn't stimulate me like I'd hoped. It's like a false promise- but there was no promise to begin with.

When I first seen the Arcana, I was not at all interested. And for good reason.. As advertised was not what we got. I got into it about, two years ago now.

Yes, I was late, but.. The fandom was near death when I came into the scene. Yes yes, I know, people of course are still heavily into it, and I still love it myself but.. It makes me sad.

The character's clearly weren't cared about. They were put out there for visual appearance to lure in lonely gay people. Lesbians, Bi, everyone. They included everyone so they can pull in more people.

Nothing wrong with that- alot of games and industries tend to do this. But they never stick with what they said..

You can say: Mori, why are you bitching about this? It doesn't matter anymore!

If your so unhappy, why don't you just stop caring?

Because.. It started out as a passion, you can see, and quickly as people left, new people kept coming in and that passion was quickly lost.

It saddens me, as an artist and writer. The love was lost.. And the Arcana became hollow anymore. As I played through it a second time, it just felt empty. It was so thrown together- the ingredients just didn't mix.

Id re-write the whole damn game if I could. And like hell I'm going on Dorian.

I appriciate that the people who still love the fandom, want to make and create and that Dorian allows that to happen, but I don't vibe with the fact that anything you post on there is now Dorian's to claim and use.

You can be mad at me, say that I'm wrong because Im dumb and didn't play all the routes, or tell me that I'm just seeing 'face value'. But I'm not changing my opinion because people are mad at me.

This isn't a post meant to rile up or insult anyone. Im not starting a debate. This is just my heartfelt opinion, and that opinion is the state the Arcana was left in was shit. It could have been more interactive, we could have had so much more, but ultimately, we are left with a hollow possibility of what could have been, but never was.

#mori speaks #the arcana #just felt like sharing #it makes me so sad that we are left with what we have #sure its better than nothing- but still :(#i wish we had more to do #more to be and see.#its so lacking anymore.. its why i dont have the app

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uncleasad · 1 month

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In other news, tonight Hallmark Channel reran what I’ve decided is one of my favorite of their movies, A Royal Runaway Romance (some possible spoilers hereafter).

One of the reasons I like it is because it doesn’t have that tired, formulaic trope of “partway through the second hour, one character, put in a tough situation, does something that hurts the other character or that the other character misinterprets in a hurtful way, and they refuse to talk to each other for most of the last half-hour until someone comes to their senses in the closing minute or two.” Those situations always feel so contrived, even forced, to me, particularly when the couple refuses to talk/explain/hear the other person out. Yeah, bad stuff happens, people make mistakes, couples have fights…but the not talking/not trying never seems realistic and always grates on me.

This movie instead goes with a more straightforward “your purpose here is to help me with X” and feelings develop along the way, but they’re both mature enough to understand that while they have these feelings, their purpose is X, not romance. So while there’s a bit of heartbreak, it’s not the kind that comes from betrayal (or “betrayal”) or the like, but more the kind where you know the cool person you hung out with (and liked) at summer camp is going back to their life, too, and you’ll never see them again (as one example of the type).

Another reason I really enjoy this movie is Philippa Northeast starring as Princess Amelia, who is lovely and kind and trying to find her way/place. (Ms Northeast looks a bit like Emilia Clarke and Lena LuthorKatie McGrath—perhaps exactly like if they had a daughter 😂—so there’s that. And that pink dress, wow 🤩 Kudos to the costume designer.) Her excitement for seeing America is both charming and contagious. (Plus, now I want s’mores!)

This is also one of those movies where I’d like to see a sequel. There’s the expected happy ending, but there’s so much room—perhaps deliberately so?—for more adventures before Amelia becomes queen. I’m not exactly sure how you’d work the “romance” angle without falling back on the tropes I find trite—I’d like to see them exploring and learning about each other similar to the the way they did in this film, but as a couple rather than two strangers. A romance adventure? Dunno. (They made romance-in-a-sequel work for a whole series of “Season in the Vineyard” films with Rachael Leigh Cook, but I’ve only ever seen the first one, so I don’t know how that worked.)

The other thing this rewatch reminded me (I can’t believe this movie came out in 2022—it was either the week before or the week after Katherine McNamara’s groundbreaking one [I thought I had a post about Kat’s movie, but I can’t find it under the expected tags, and we all know tumblr search is absolutely worthless])—is that, in spite of their ability to (sometimes) move beyond that contrived conflict, these Hallmark movies have yet to move beyond other formulaic elements: Amelia has a person-of-color “best friend” (assistant) and a really cool fun gay uncle. I’ve seen commercials for a winter/Christmas movie with two Black leads, and there was Kat’s aforementioned movie where she ends up with a woman (the way her sexuality was never defined, only explored, felt beautiful—like a vision of an ideal world—but I can’t help but wonder whether it was specifically downplayed)…they’re still (almost) all straight, white couples at the center. And while I adore many of the Hallmark leading ladies (“providing regular employment for actresses who portrayed Uncle Asad’s favorite bit-part broadcast-network characters since 2002” 😂) and enjoy many of the movies, they’re just not reflective of the world we live in…and so very far behind most of the rest of the networks out there. It makes me very sad.

#musings #hallmark #romcoms #A Royal Runaway Romance #Philippa Northeast

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marksarmel · 1 year

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What I’ve been consuming 01/31/23

As the fingers of winter dig deeper into our brittle bones we settle into that most coveted of spaces, our couches. So grab your hot chocolates, hot toddys or what have you and curl up with some media and consume!

TV:

Star Wars the Bad Bunch - Some things don’t change all that much and for that there is a small comfort. It sounds harsh to say, but luckily it's not completely true. For starters, Omega looks to have aged up. She’s also settled into a nice groove with the group. When the new season opened, I felt at home with these starkly drawn recognizable characters. Omega is still too smart and too ambitious for her own good. Everyone else just has to keep up. Three episodes in and the series is showing us more of the group's understanding of the depths of the Empire's reach and its indifference to humanity. Tech gets an episode all to himself in Spoils of War and shines once again in Episode 4’ Faster. I for one am all for getting a much deeper dive into Tech and I hope each character gets this much love this season. There also seems to be something dark coming for a side character. This show is just solid writing with good looking animation. Same as it ever was. Tune in Wednesdays to soak even deeper into George Lucas’ sandpit.

The Last of Us - Man oh man is this show just hitting it completely out of the park. There’s no warming up here, no couple of episodes to get through before it gets good. This show is just straight chocolate cake. I have all those same feels as I did when watching the first season of Game of Thrones or The first season of true detective. Pedro Pascal’s face says more than a full page of dialogue. His posture lets you know everything that he just cannot bring himself to say. Bella Ramsey is the perfect counterpart. Her acting is so spare and subtle. As Ellie she is constantly feeling out Joel, testing him, pushing him, just far enough. With another actor this would easily translate into an annoying kid, but Ramsey handles it all with such assuredness that she is slowly growing on us, just as she is on Joel. I am so enthralled by everything in this show and I cannot wait till next Sunday evening.

Note: Episode three. Whoo boy! I was not prepared for all of those feels. I knew going in it was going to be emotional, but the love story that was built in this hour of tv is so deeply moving that it just fills any sort of hole you may have in your heart about humankind. I think here, it’s super important to note that this is a gay love story, but it’s something simpler. It’s simply a love story. The gay part doesn’t matter in the sense that we are seeing all the intimate and new and scary things that go along with falling in love. It’s the same with everyone, gay or not.

MOVIES:

The Whale - This was an amazing and intimate character portrait. I felt like this movie could have been a play and then I noticed in the credits that it was adapted from a play. All the things people are saying about Brendan Fraser are true. He imbues his character, Charlie, with a deep deep regret. The film does a great job of conveying Charlie's struggles with addiction. Also, the makeup and body suit design is astonishing. Sadie Sink, his daughter, whom many will recognize from Stranger Things, is sharply drawn and nearly unlikeable. Her issues are clear from the beginning so we understand her when she lashes out, but it still hurts. See this movie. Bring some tissues.

Paddington 2 - Paddington 2 was quite simply a joy to watch. Perfect for kids, parents and grumbly grandpas. Paddington is filled with so much wonder and innocence and goodness that it's just fun to watch him navigate the world. When he ends up in jail it's just plain fun to watch him win over the "hardened criminals". His adventure throughout the movie is ridiculous and the supporting cast is all perfect, especially Hugh Grant who seems to be having the most fun of all. If you're ever feeling down about the world, watch Paddington 2. It will give you hope. It will also make you wish bear cubs could talk. Note: I've never seen the first Paddington and didn't feel like I was missing anything. I just bought into the fact that this bear lives with the family and that everyone thought it was perfectly normal.

The Pale Blue Eye - while I enjoyed this movie I don't think it's for everyone. It's slow moving and sort of lumbering. This pace helps the moments of horror stand out, but it can be rigorous for some. Note: this is not a horror movie, it's more of a detective movie. I loved the two lead performances, Christian Bale is great as usual, but the real standout for me is Harry Melling as Edgar All Poe, before he was famous. His character is awkwardly assured. Somehow comfortable in his own skin, despite looking anything but. His sunken eyes, slightly too close to each other, hold a yearning and a deep curiosity. His Poe moves through the film like a preternaturally intelligent child who can’t help but let you know they’re much smarter than they look. Both leads dance around each other beautifully, searching for a connection, searching for truth and then finally, finding something much deeper. A good movie for a dark rainy night or a cold snowy overcast day. Get some hot chocolate or hot toddy and settle in.

Rewatch: Wheelman - I rewatched this getaway driver movie recently and loved it just as much as I did on first watch. You probably missed this Frank Grillo led neo noir-car-chase movie released on Netflix back in 2017. It’s a throwback to films like Escape from New York, Predator or the underrated Showdown in Little Tokyo (Shame on you for not knowing one of Brandon Lee’s early films!) It does away with the camp of some of those movies and replaces it with an urgent impending doom. Which is perfect for a driver movie. My earlier mention of Escape from New York is foreshadowing for this comparison: Frank Grillo is this generation's Kurt Russell. He’s all dark sweaty swagger, greasy hair and a perfectly trimmed 5 'o'clock shadow. And that makes him perfect in this role as he tosses out more “fucks!” than high school kids arguing on a school bus. The plot is super simple: a getaway driver finds himself embroiled in a botched robbery and must escape. 90 percent of this movie happens in the car, as any good getaway driver movie should, and Grillo makes every moment count. He’s frustrated, stressed, suspicious and just about out of time. Get yourself some popcorn, an ice cold brewski and buckle up!

MUSIC:

Warpaint - Radiate Like This - Oh man this album just movies and grooves me. From the light opening chimes of Champion to the sparse and softly sexy Send Nudes this album is perfect for warming yourself up under some blankies with your favorite person. Sans a S.O.? Put on this album, reach out to that person you’ve been thirsting for and see if it just might inspire some sexy sexting.

Gina Chavez - La Que Manda (the One Who’s in Charge) - At barely 17 minutes this could barely be considered an EP, but Chavez packs each of these 5 songs with all kinds of flavor and emotion. The title track opens with an urgent wailing accompanied by equally punchy drum beats. This track is a perfect opener and will get even your grandma’s cranky hips shaking.The closing track Bienamada (Beloved) does what every great artist should do, leaves ‘em wanting more. Clear some space around you to shimmy and shake and put this album on repeat.

#MediaConsuming #tv review #Movie Reivew #music review #musiclistening #watching tv #watching movies #The Whale #The pale Blue eye #paddington 2 #Star wars #Bad bunch #Wheelman #last of us #Gina Chavez #warpaint

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donttalkaboutmemes · 2 years

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The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) Sentence Meme

Under the cut you will find 110+ sentences from the movie The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad to use for your enjoyment!

1. “If you were asked to choose the most fabulous character in English literature, who would it be?”

2. “Any one of them would be an excellent choice.”

3. “For the most fabulous character of all, I would nominate a toad.”

4. “Have you never met him?”

5. “He had a host of fair weather friends, of course, but there were only three who had his best intentions at heart.”

6. “They all make their homes in a quaint little community along the riverbank.”

7. “He was late for tea. A regrettable habit.”

8. “How’s everything on the river today, sir?”

9. “This repressive structure, by the way, was by all odds the finest home on the river.”

10. “They felt it gave the whole community an air of respectability.”

11. “How can a man figure out all this with all this hubbub?”

12. “Silence! You’ll get your money in due course.”

13. “Why did I assume the responsibility of looking after him?”

14. “Thank goodness, lads. You’ve come at last.”

15. “He’d reached the end of his rope.”

16. “I’m practically a nervous wreck.”

17. “Promises? What good are his promises when these wild manias take him?”

18. “You’re his closest friends, are you not?”

19. “He’s got a new mania!”

20. “Hello, you fellows! You’re the very animals I was coming to see.”

21. “Come along, hop up here! We’ll go for a jolly ride!”

22. “Come! I’ll show you the world!”

23. “I want you fellows to meet my noble steed.”

24. “That’s me. A bit of a trotter, a bit of a rotter.”

25. “I say, your friends seem to be a bit on the stuffy side.”

26. “We want to have a talk with you.”

27. “You’ve got to give up the horse and cart.”

28. “I do mean it! You’ve got to stop this foolishness!”

29. “You’re fast becoming a menace to society.”

30. “No good can ever come from gadding about with such a fast and irresponsible beast.”

31. “It’s no use! You’ll never get me to give this up!”

32. “Gad. What have I been missing?”

33. “Mania. That’s it. That’s what it was.”

34. “No telling where it would end, either. Might linger for months.”

35. “There was only one thing to do, lock the poor chap in his chambers and keep him there until the poison worked out of his system.”

36. “That’s better. And you can’t escape. There’s simply no use in trying.”

37. “Let me out of here! Open up!”

38. “Playing jailer to one’s dearest friend wasn’t exactly a pleasant situation.”

39. “He was far too clever, and at the moment, completely mad.”

40. “Council for the crown, proceed with the case.”

41. “Is it true that you had the accused locked in his own house?”

42. “Did you or did you not have him locked up?”

43. “Due to his reckless extravagance, you cut off his allowance.”

44. “He was, to the best of your knowledge, without funds.”

45. “With the courts indulgence, I rise prepared to plead my own defense.”

46. “He’s one of the jolliest chaps I have ever run across.”

47. “The only way a gentleman gets anything. The honest way.”

48. “And what is the honest way?”

49. “Now I’ll give you the facts of the case.”

50. “You could tell it was love at first sight.”

51. “How could I know’d they’d stolen that car? I didn’t have no crystal ball.”

52. “He’s not one to dally. He made up his mind like a flash.”

53. “That car must be mine. Whatever the price is, I’ll buy.”

54. “He never does anything small.”

55. “I don’t expect you to believe anything.”

56. “Facing you in the witness box is a citizen of substance and standing.”

57. “That’s a deliberate lie, you monkey-faced little crackpot!”

58. “Seems the court was determined to make an example of him.”

59. “Once again it was a white Christmas.”

60. “Once again the melodies of Yuletide hung sweet upon the winters air.”

61. “Hearts were gay and spirits were high.”

62. “In all the city there was but one spot untouched by the warmth of Christmas cheer.”

63. “The tower. Grim monument to despair. Cold, cruel, foreboding.”

64. “Alone with the memories of his wasted life. What a fool he’d been.”

65. “Within the dark confines of his miserable cell, a new man was born.”

66. “In a flood of remorse, he vowed once and for all to forsake the follies of the primrose path.”

67. “Never, never again would he give way to those mad, foolish manias that had brought him to this sorry end.”

68. “Being as it’s Christmas, you’re allowed a visitor.”

69. “Alas for good intentions.”

70. “One whispered word and all his high resolve vanished in the mad whirl of this new adventure, this new mania.”

71. “What perfectly ripping luck!”

72. “Blockheads. Let them scour the countryside.”

73. “Lest the memory of his disgrace becloud the memory of the season.”

74. “There was still one home at least where two hearts still held the warmth of Christmas charity.”

75. “Bless this good food we are about to enjoy.”

76. “And may he get time off for good behavior.”

77. “Lets take her over by the fire.”

78. “Well! This is a merry Christmas!”

79. “Aren’t you afraid of the police?”

80. “Sorry but you owe a debt to society and you’ve got to pay.”

81. “I’ve just made a very important discovery!”

82. “I hope someday you’ll find it in your heart.”

83. “To err is human.”

84. “Not so fast! You’re still guilty in the eyes of the law.”

85. “It was an excellent plan, cunningly contrived but extremely dangerous.”

86. “It would work only if each did his part. There was no margin for error.”

87. “The odds against them were tremendous, but the stakes were high.”

88. “Now steady’s the word.”

89. “One false move and four lives hung in the balance.”

90. “Phew! That was a close one!”

91. “What new and greater perils no one could say.”

92. “Lads, they’re drunk. They’ve been hitting the bottle.”

93. “Well, laddies, we saved our skins.”

94. “And as it was a happy ending after all.”

95. “On the happiest of New Years, a toast was in order!”

96. “Really now, don’t we envy him a bit?”

97. “Speaking of fabulous characters, England has produced a bumper crop of them.”

98. “Don’t forget over here in the colonies, we’re come up with a few of our own.”

99. “He had a way with a yarn.”

100. “If we could just journey back to that remote period in American history, we would discover in the bosom of one of these spacious coves the little village of Tarrytown.”

101. “It’s a quiet, peaceful place and yet somehow foreboding.”

102. “It abounds in haunted spots, twilight tales, and local superstitions.”

103. “Some say his melancholy spirit still haunts the vicinity.”

104. “The worthy pedagogue was described as a most unusual man.”

105. “To see him striding along, one might mistake him for some scarecrow eloped from a cornfield.”

106. “He was such an apparition as is seldom to be seen in broad daylight.”

107. “Their self appointed leader was a burly, roistering blade always ready for a fight or a frolic.”

108. “There was no malice in his mischief.”

109. “He was quite the hero of all the country round.”

110. “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”

111. “He was careful to administer justice with discrimination.”

112. “It behooved him to keep on good terms with his pupils, especially if their mothers happened to be good cooks.”

113. “A wiser man would have shrunk from the competition, but love is blind.”

114. “It was time for open warfare.”

115. “Wars are neither won nor lost at the first encounter.”

116. “The high-flyer might yet be brough to Earth.”

117. “What is this strange power you have over women?”

118. “Tonight’s the night, boy! Just turn on the old charm!”

119. “The forest seemed to close in behind him.”

#ask meme #askbox meme #rp meme #roleplaying meme #sentence meme #disney meme #the adventures of ichabod and mr. toad #ichabod and mr. toad

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gatheringbones · 3 years

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[".... When we develop our understanding of this community as a predecessor to the gay liberation movement, our analysis must include sexuality. For these lesbians actively sought, expanded, and shaped their sexual experiences, a radical undertaking for women in the 1940s and 1950s.

[...] In the forties, there were at least two social groups, focused in two prominent bars, Ralph Martin's and Winters. According to our narrators, the sexual mores of the two groups differed: The former group was somewhat conservative; the latter group was more experimental, presaging what were to become the accepted norms of the fifties. The lesbian patrons of Ralph Martins did not discuss sex openly, and oral sex was disdained. "People didn't talk about sex. There was no intimate conversation. It was kind of hush, huh... I didn't know there were different ways." By way of contrast, this narrator recalls a visit to Winters, where other women were laughing about "sixty-nine." "I didn't get it. I went to [my partner] and said, "Somebody says sixty-nine" and everybody gets hysterical.' Finally her partner learned what the laughter was all about. At that time our narrator would have mentioned such intimacies only with a lover. It wasn't until later that she got into bull sessions about such topics. Not surprisingly, this narrator does not recall having been taught about sex. She remembers being scared during her first lesbian experience, then found that she knew what to do "naturally." She had no early affairs with partners older than herself.

The Winters patrons had a more open, experimental attitude towards sex; they discussed it unreservedly and accepted the practice of oral sex. These women threw parties in which women tried threesomes and daisy chains. "People would try it and see how it worked out. But nothing really happened. One person would always get angry and leave, and they would end up with two." Even if their sexual adventures did not always turn out as planned, these women were unquestionably innovative for their time. One narrator from the Winters' crowd reminisced that it was always a contrast to go home to the serene life of her religious family. She also raved about two fems who were her instructors in sexual matters, adding, "I was an apt pupil."

During the fifties the picture changed, and the mores of the Ralph Martin's group virtually disappeared. Sex came to be a conversation topic among all social groups. Oral sex became an accepted form of lovemaking, so that an individual who did not practice it was acting on personal preference rather than on ignorance or social proscription. In addition, most of our fifties' butch narrators recall having been teachers or students of sex. As in the Winters group in the forties, an important teacher for the butch was the fem. "I had one girl who had been around who told me. I guess I really frustrated the hell out of her. And she took a piece of paper and drew me a picture and she said, 'Now you get this spot right here.' I felt like a jerk. I was embarrassed that she had to tell me this." According to our narrator, the lesson helped, and she explains that, "I went on to greater and better things."

The fifties also saw the advent of a completely new practice— experienced butches teaching novice butches about sex. One narrator remembers that younger women frequently approached her with questions about sex: "There must be an X on my back. They just pick me out...." She remembers one young butch who "had to know every single detail. She drove me crazy. Jesus Christ, y'know, just get down there and do it— y'get so aggravated." The woman who aggravated her gives the following account of learning about sex:

"And I finally talked to a butch buddy of mine.... She was a real tough one. I asked her "What do you do when you make love to a woman?" And we sat up for hours and hours at a time... "I feel sexually aroused by this woman, but if I take her to bed, what am I gonna do?" And she says, "Well, what do you feel like doing?" and I says, "Well, the only thing I can think of doing is.... all I want to do is touch her, but what the full thing of it... you know." So when [she] told me I says, "Really," well there was this one thing in there uh.... I don't know if you want me to state it. Maybe I can... well, I won't... I'll put it in terms that you can understand. Amongst other things, the oral gratification. Well that kind of floored me because I never expected something like that and I thought, well, who knows, I might like it."

She later describes her first sexual experience in which she was so scared that her friend had to shove her into the bedroom where the girl was waiting."]

Madeline Davis and Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy, from Oral History and Study of Sexuality in the Lesbian Community: Buffalo, New York, 1940-1960, from Hidden from History: Reclaiming the Gay and Lesbian Past, edited by Martin Duberman, Matha Vicinus, and George Chauncey, Jr., Meridian Press, 1989

#lesbian literature #madeline davis #elizabeth lapovsky kennedy #terra preta #history stuff #the revolution was built on sex and the language of sex and the DEVELOPMENT of language FOR sex

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vyeoh · 3 years

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this is your chance: wax poetic about an Empires or DSMP character of your choice to a fan who is new to both. Explain why I should love them. I need guidance in this new and meme-populated land.

okok this is a lot of pressure haha. Spoilers for EmpiresSMP and DreamSMP below, obviously. I wrote a lot so prepare yourself, anon

I watch a lot of empires POVs but the ones I most anticipate every week are Scott and Sausage.

c!Scott (I'll call him Smajor for the sake of simplicity) starts off the series chilling, not really getting involved with the rest of the server, and staying aggressively neutral. After all, he's an elf. He has lived far longer than most of the other rulers already, and will most likely outlive them for many years. So, the best thing is to stick to his mountains and not get invested in the dealings of mortal affairs, maybe sometimes causing problems on purpose and dipping because what's life without a little spice right.

But then, this demon comes to the server, Xornoth. He's going around causing havoc and wants to send the world into an eternal winter, but he doesn't bother the kingdom of Rivendell much so Smajor stays tentatively cautious but ultimately unbothered. But then, the puzzle pieces start falling together. The first thing that the audience noticed was was Xornoth sounded like Smajor, but we mostly thought that this was just due to cc!Scott voicing both of them and there was nothing more to it. However, then, the people the demon starts possessing start chanting in elvish. The demon hates mortals, and the elves are conveniently one of the two confirmed not fully mortal races in Empires.

This culminates when Smajor stumbles across a cave that contains the backstory of the patron god of Rivendell, Aeor. Basically, there's two opposing forces, Aeor and Exor, and both have a champion. In a previous life, those champions were two brothers, where Aeor eventually prevailed and banished Exor. In this life though, the champions are - you guessed it - Smajor, and the demon Xornoth.

So now Smajor is like. Well fuck. It's my literal god-given destiny to be responsible for defeating this demon who is technically my brother, and if I fail the server gets plunged into an eternal winter. And I have no fucking clue what is happening because I've just been here on this mountain actively trying to stay out of the issues outside my kingdom. We watch him panic and teeter on the verge of spiraling for an entire episode, and when the followers of Xornoth go to the End to kill the dragon, releasing Xornoth's full powers, he fails to stop him. Smajor is a character who was used to being the smart one, the prepared one, the one who has the least deaths on the server. But he's also a character who runs away from his problems and ignores them. Before and during the dragon fight, we hear the desperation in his voice, as he's thrown into a situation he is wholly unprepared for, and it's bigger than him going to the Cod Empire to kill their king, or assisting in other people's plans to kill the codfather. He can't run from this. cc!Scott plays this scene so well as well, as I've said before, one of the best parts of Scott's acting is how he's never super dramatic, but he's so effective in the little things like inflection to make you feel, viscerally, the panic and dread.

So after the dragon fight, Smajor realizes, I can't do this on my own. I've tried and failed. So he gets allies. We watch him, someone who has so strongly been an isolationist, learn the benefits of allies and watch him learn to trust others and watch him learn how to get that trust in return.

My favorite thing about Smajor's characterization is that he's an incompetent protagonist, but not in the way of the "plucky young adventurer". He's capable skill-wise, and fairly jaded and very pessimistic. However, his issue is that up until recently, he did not care about the rest of the server at all, and by the time he learned to, it was way too late.

Also, in 3rd Life, cc!Scott and cc!Jimmy were canonically married and they reference it sometimes in Empires. Like, Scott goes over to the Cod Empire every so often both in and out of character to kill and/or flirt with Jimmy, the ruler of the Cod Empire, which may develop as a secondary plot into the future who knows. So ty Scott for giving the gays what they want o7

Now onto Sausage: his is a story of Icarus, his hubris and ambition being his downfall. He's one of the two followers of Xornoth, who promised him endless power in exchange for his servitude. He started the series being eccentric, but not outright unhinged, but slowly gets more and more extreme as the series progresses, as he gets brought more and more to Xornoth's side.

One of the best parts of Sausage's character, in my opinion, is how his gradual corruption affects the people around him. Initially, he got into a conflict with the Cod Empire and was allied with two other people in the Witherrose alliance. They were allies, but also close friends. The fandom liked to joke that the three had sibling energy, and I'm pretty sure the ccs played to that even more lol.

It was painful to watch the other two members, Gem and fWhip, watch Sausage get corrupted right in front of them, and see them desperately clinging on to this old idea of Sausage in their head because if they faced the truth, it would mean that their friend was gone. Eventually, they do finally cut him out of the alliance, leading him to fully commit to the side of the demon. Sausage felt very clearly betrayed by this, and declared the remaining two Witherrose alliance members to be enemies.

He gets more and more possessed, and we even see the other Empires, his enemies even, slowly realize that something is very wrong with the ruler of Mythland. He starts doing more and more evil things, like killing people more, making sacrifices to the demon, and eventually helping to kill the dragon to free Xornoth. So things are good for Sausage, for a bit. He won, and is more powerful than ever. Then he finds out: he's going to die. Xornoth's possession is slowly killing his soul, and eventually, his body going to be fully taken over and he himself is going to be trapped in the spirit realm. So how do you react to this? Over the next few episodes, we watch Sausage struggle between "the demon is literally killing me" and "the demon has given me so much, and I love it", all while Xornoth takes over more and more of him. We hear him exclaim that "don't worry!! I'm still about 15% there!" while trying to downplay every time Xornoth completely takes over his body. We watch him willingly oppose anyone who is trying to end the thing that is killing him.

My favorite thing about Sausage is that he is undoubtedly evil and proud of it, but he's also undoubtedly human. If you like to watch evil characters go absolutely feral, he's the guy for you. He makes the deal with Xornoth in the beginning, knowing and fully embracing the evilness of the demon, but at the same time he knows what he's doing is detrimental to both himself and everyone around him, but he's gotten in way too deep at this point, and to be fair the demon has held up its end fo the bargain, right?

Also, I would be damned if I don't talk about cc!Sausage's editing. Every one of his videos is like a movie. The way he does camera angles and uses music is so skillful- every lore scene feels like something out of a high fantasy action saga (think: LotR). Every big lore event I always wait in anticipation for Sausage's ep because his editing truly takes lore to another level.

I'm just generally very excited to see where this series goes. Empires is such a good mix of talented builders and good lore. Part of the reason why the series is so immersive for me, beyond any other lore smp, is that they have the settings to back it up. There is a certain charm to the DreamSMP's objectively terrible builds (with a few exceptions) but in Empires, the settings help sell the plot so much.

Another part of why I love EmpiresSMP is how much the ccs are involved with the fan community. I'm sure you've seen the memes about Scott being on tumblr, and Sausage regularly goes through the EmpiresSMP fanart tag on Twitter and likes art, even ones not related to Mythland. Most of the ccs, in fact, have brought up tumblr content on stream at some point or another. Like, several ccs have said that they read tumblr lore theories and hcs and stuff and sometimes take inspiration from them. Fun fact: Rivendell's church was inspired by my pinned drawing; confirmed by Scott Smajor himself. It's just such a good cycle of ccs and fans being excited about each other.

As for DreamSMP, I'm gonna be honest here, the only person I really am invested in in Technoblade. I started watching when he joined the server, and he's the only person whose lore I keep up to date with.

Techno's fun to watch because he's like the Deadpool of DreamSMP. Virtually unkillable, very skilled and scary, but consistently cracks jokes and breaks the 4th wall during plot. His POV is just fun. Like, he does wild plans and gives speeches and some of the stuff that happens to him should be called deus ex machine if it wasn't for the fact that Technoblade is the one who's doing it, and all the stuff is grounded in the fact that cc!Techno is just that good at the game.

However, the fact that he rarely takes anything seriously makes the few times Techno is 100% serious so much more impactful. His whole character has a basis in being perceived as inhuman and being treated as such, and therefore in return trying to hide his humanity. So, when he shows that humanity, whether that's fear, anger, or genuine love for his friends, it really makes you go "oh shit."

Techno's often said not to have character development, but I'd argue that while he remains steadfast in his moral code, he develops leaps and bounds as a person. Like, at the beginning, he's brought onto the server to help Wilbur and Tommy overthrow a government; them knowing he's 1) an anarchist and 2) very very powerful. His character was more of a plot device at that point and was treated as such in the canon. Wilbur and Tommy straight-up lie to him about their plans to establish another government after they overthrow the current one, while he was led on to believe that they were abolishing all governments in the area. But he isn't a plot device. He's a person, as much as he only shows the terrifying, blood god side of himself.

After the establishment of New Lmanburg (the new government its a long story), his friend Phil joins. And for the first time, we see him be fully human with someone and we see someone treat him like a human. Like, we saw glimpses before, with Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, but Phil is the first person we noticeably see he trusts 100%. Then Doomsday happens, and Techno essentially retires to the tundra. During this time, we see Techno learn to be more human, first with Ranboo, then Niki when he establishes the Syndicate. In fact, the two of them, along with Phil, canonically throw him a birthday party, which is a far cry from his treatment in Pogtopia.

Techno's development is one of a god learning to be human, and I just think he <3

#vio.ask #empiressmp #empires smp #dreamsmp #scott smajor #smajor #smajor1995 #mythicalsausage #mythical sausage #technoblade #to be clear i am not an apologist for any character #i fully realize that they are doing wrong and I like to watch it happen #minecraft roleplay got be in full character analysis mode #long post

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shirbertshitposts · 3 years

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10 Shirbert Moments from Anne of Green Gables series I think about a lot

In honor of Valentines Day I thought I would post a list of some of my favorite Anne and Gilbert moments. It was hard to narrow it to just ten as I have been going through all nine books and trying to queue posts about all their iconic moments through the series; However I decided to pick the ones that I remember even when I haven’t read the books in a while. I didn’t have the heart to rank them properly so they’re just listed in chronological order.

1. His future must be worthy of its goddess

In the twilight Anne sauntered down to the Dryad’s Bubble and saw Gilbert Blythe coming down through the dusky Haunted Wood. She had a sudden realization that Gilbert was a schoolboy no longer. And how manly he looked—the tall, frank-faced fellow, with the clear, straightforward eyes and the broad shoulders. Anne thought Gilbert was a very handsome lad, even though he didn’t look at all like her ideal man. She and Diana had long ago decided what kind of a man they admired and their tastes seemed exactly similar. He must be very tall and distinguished looking, with melancholy, inscrutable eyes, and a melting, sympathetic voice. There was nothing either melancholy or inscrutable in Gilbert’s physiognomy, but of course that didn’t matter in friendship!

Gilbert stretched himself out on the ferns beside the Bubble and looked approvingly at Anne. If Gilbert had been asked to describe his ideal woman the description would have answered point for point to Anne, even to those seven tiny freckles whose obnoxious presence still continued to vex her soul. Gilbert was as yet little more than a boy; but a boy has his dreams as have others, and in Gilbert’s future there was always a girl with big, limpid gray eyes, and a face as fine and delicate as a flower. He had made up his mind, also, that his future must be worthy of its goddess. Even in quiet Avonlea there were temptations to be met and faced. White Sands youth were a rather “fast” set, and Gilbert was popular wherever he went. But he meant to keep himself worthy of Anne’s friendship and perhaps some distant day her love; and he watched over word and thought and deed as jealously as if her clear eyes were to pass in judgment on it. She held over him the unconscious influence that every girl, whose ideals are high and pure, wields over her friends; an influence which would endure as long as she was faithful to those ideals and which she would as certainly lose if she were ever false to them. In Gilbert’s eyes Anne’s greatest charm was the fact that she never stooped to the petty practices of so many of the Avonlea girls—the small jealousies, the little deceits and rivalries, the palpable bids for favor. Anne held herself apart from all this, not consciously or of design, but simply because anything of the sort was utterly foreign to her transparent, impulsive nature, crystal clear in its motives and aspirations.

-- Chapter XIX, Anne of Avonlea

2. For the first time her eyes faltered under Gilbert’s gaze

“What are you thinking of, Anne?” asked Gilbert, coming down the walk. He had left his horse and buggy out at the road.

“Of Miss Lavendar and Mr. Irving,” answered Anne dreamily. “Isn’t it beautiful to think how everything has turned out . . . how they have come together again after all the years of separation and misunderstanding?”

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” said Gilbert, looking steadily down into Anne’s uplifted face, “but wouldn’t it have been more beautiful still, Anne, if there had been NO separation or misunderstanding . . . if they had come hand in hand all the way through life, with no memories behind them but those which belonged to each other?”

For a moment Anne’s heart fluttered queerly and for the first time her eyes faltered under Gilbert’s gaze and a rosy flush stained the paleness of her face. It was as if a veil that had hung before her inner consciousness had been lifted, giving to her view a revelation of unsuspected feelings and realities. Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.

Then the veil dropped again; but the Anne who walked up the dark lane was not quite the same Anne who had driven gaily down it the evening before. The page of girlhood had been turned, as by an unseen finger, and the page of womanhood was before her with all its charm and mystery, its pain and gladness.

Gilbert wisely said nothing more; but in his silence he read the history of the next four years in the light of Anne’s remembered blush. Four years of earnest, happy work . . . and then the guerdon of a useful knowledge gained and a sweet heart won.

-- Chapter XXX, Anne of Avonlea

3. I just want YOU

“I have a dream,” he said slowly. “I persist in dreaming it, although it has often seemed to me that it could never come true. I dream of a home with a hearth-fire in it, a cat and dog, the footsteps of friends—and YOU!”

Anne wanted to speak but she could find no words. Happiness was breaking over her like a wave. It almost frightened her.

“I asked you a question over two years ago, Anne. If I ask it again today will you give me a different answer?”

Still Anne could not speak. But she lifted her eyes, shining with all the love-rapture of countless generations, and looked into his for a moment. He wanted no other answer.

They lingered in the old garden until twilight, sweet as dusk in Eden must have been, crept over it. There was so much to talk over and recall—things said and done and heard and thought and felt and misunderstood.

“I thought you loved Christine Stuart,” Anne told him, as reproachfully as if she had not given him every reason to suppose that she loved Roy Gardner.

Gilbert laughed boyishly.

“Christine was engaged to somebody in her home town. I knew it and she knew I knew it. When her brother graduated he told me his sister was coming to Kingsport the next winter to take music, and asked me if I would look after her a bit, as she knew no one and would be very lonely. So I did. And then I liked Christine for her own sake. She is one of the nicest girls I’ve ever known. I knew college gossip credited us with being in love with each other. I didn’t care. Nothing mattered much to me for a time there, after you told me you could never love me, Anne. There was nobody else—there never could be anybody else for me but you. I’ve loved you ever since that day you broke your slate over my head in school.”

“I don’t see how you could keep on loving me when I was such a little fool,” said Anne.

“Well, I tried to stop,” said Gilbert frankly, “not because I thought you what you call yourself, but because I felt sure there was no chance for me after Gardner came on the scene. But I couldn’t—and I can’t tell you, either, what it’s meant to me these two years to believe you were going to marry him, and be told every week by some busybody that your engagement was on the point of being announced. I believed it until one blessed day when I was sitting up after the fever. I got a letter from Phil Gordon—Phil Blake, rather—in which she told me there was really nothing between you and Roy, and advised me to ‘try again.’ Well, the doctor was amazed at my rapid recovery after that.”

Anne laughed—then shivered.

“I can never forget the night I thought you were dying, Gilbert. Oh, I knew—I KNEW then—and I thought it was too late.”

“But it wasn’t, sweetheart. Oh, Anne, this makes up for everything, doesn’t it? Let’s resolve to keep this day sacred to perfect beauty all our lives for the gift it has given us.”

“It’s the birthday of our happiness,” said Anne softly. “I’ve always loved this old garden of Hester Gray’s, and now it will be dearer than ever.”

“But I’ll have to ask you to wait a long time, Anne,” said Gilbert sadly. “It will be three years before I’ll finish my medical course. And even then there will be no diamond sunbursts and marble halls.”

Anne laughed.

“I don’t want sunbursts and marble halls. I just want YOU. You see I’m quite as shameless as Phil about it. Sunbursts and marble halls may be all very well, but there is more ‘scope for imagination’ without them. And as for the waiting, that doesn’t matter. We’ll just be happy, waiting and working for each other—and dreaming. Oh, dreams will be very sweet now.”

Gilbert drew her close to him and kissed her. Then they walked home together in the dusk, crowned king and queen in the bridal realm of love, along winding paths fringed with the sweetest flowers that ever bloomed, and over haunted meadows where winds of hope and memory blew.

-- Chapter XLI, Anne of the Island

4. Gilbert, I'm afraid I'm scandalously in love with you.

"Gilbert darling, don't let's ever be afraid of things. It's such dreadful slavery. Let's be daring and adventurous and expectant. Let's dance to meet life and all it can bring to us, even if it brings scads of trouble and typhoid and twins!"

Today has been a day dropped out of June into April. The snow is all gone and the fawn meadows and golden hills just sing of spring. I know I heard Pan piping in the little green hollow in my maple bush and my Storm King was bannered with the airiest of purple hazes. We've had a great deal of rain lately and I've loved sitting in my tower in the still, wet hours of the spring twilights. But tonight is a gusty, hurrying night . . . even the clouds racing over the sky are in a hurry and the moonlight that gushes out between them is in a hurry to flood the world.

"Suppose, Gilbert, we were walking hand in hand down one of the long roads in Avonlea tonight!"

Gilbert, I'm afraid I'm scandalously in love with you. You don't think it's irreverent, do you? But then, you're not a minister."

-- Chapter 9, Anne of Windy Poplars

5. Suitable Places

"(Are you sure you kiss me in suitable places, Gilbert? I'm afraid Mrs. Gibson would think the nape of the neck, for instance, most unsuitable.)”

-- Chapter 12, Anne of Windy Poplars

6. He narrowly escaped bursting with pride

"Anne, this is Captain Boyd. Captain Boyd, my wife."

It was the first time Gilbert had said "my wife" to anybody but Anne, and he narrowly escaped bursting with the pride of it. The old captain held out a sinewy hand to Anne; they smiled at each other and were friends from that moment. Kindred spirit flashed recognition to kindred spirit.

-- Chapter 6, Anne’s House of Dreams

7. Queen of my heart and life and home

"Gilbert, would you like my hair better if it were like Leslie's?" she asked wistfully.

"I wouldn't have your hair any color but just what it is for the world," said Gilbert, with one or two convincing accompaniments.

You wouldn't be ANNE if you had golden hair—or hair of any color but"—

"Red," said Anne, with gloomy satisfaction.

"Yes, red—to give warmth to that milk-white skin and those shining gray-green eyes of yours. Golden hair wouldn't suit you at all Queen Anne—MY Queen Anne—queen of my heart and life and home."

"Then you may admire Leslie's all you like," said Anne magnanimously.”

-Chapter 12, Anne’s House of Dreams

8. Annest of Annes

But the best of all was when Gilbert came to her, as she stood at her window, watching a fog creeping in from the sea, over the moonlit dunes and the harbour, right into the long narrow valley upon which Ingleside looked down and in which nestled the village of Glen St. Mary.

"To come back at the end of a hard day and find you! Are you happy, Annest of Annes?"

"Happy!" Anne bent to sniff a vaseful of apple blossoms Jem had set on her dressing-table. She felt surrounded and encompassed by love. "Gilbert dear, it's been lovely to be Anne of Green Gables again for a week, but it's a hundred times lovelier to come back and be Anne of Ingleside."

-- Chapter 3, Anne of Ingleside

9. I couldn’t live without you

Anne felt like a released bird . . . she was flying again. Gilbert's arms were around her . . . his eyes were looking into hers in the moonlight.

"You do love me, Gilbert? I'm not just a habit with you? You haven't said you loved me for so long."

"My dear, dear love! I didn't think you needed words to know that. I couldn't live without you. Always you give me strength. There's a verse somewhere in the Bible that is meant for you . . . 'She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.'"

Life which had seemed so grey and foolish a few moments before was golden and rose and splendidly rainbowed again. The diamond pendant slipped to the floor, unheeded for the moment. It was beautiful . . . but there were so many things lovelier . . . confidence and peace and delightful work . . . laughter and kindness . . . that old safe feeling of a sure love.

"Oh, if we could keep this moment for ever, Gilbert!"

"We're going to have some moments. It's time we had a second honeymoon. Anne, there's going to be a big medical congress in London next February. We're going to it . . . and after it we'll see a bit of the Old World. There's a holiday coming to us. We'll be nothing but lovers again . . . it will be just like being married over again. You haven't been like yourself for a long time. ("So he had noticed.") You're tired and overworked . . . you need a change. ("You too, dearest. I've been so horribly blind.") I'm not going to have it cast up to me that doctors' wives never get a pill. We'll come back rested and fresh, with our sense of humour completely restored. Well, try your pendant on and let's get to bed. I'm half dead for sleep . . . haven't had a decent night's sleep for weeks, what with twins and worry over Mrs. Garrow."

--Chapter 41, Anne of Ingleside

10. Old love light

DR. BLYTHE:- “The old, old love light that was kindled so many years ago in Avonlea ... and burns yet, Anne ... at least for me.”

ANNE:- “And for me, too. And will burn forever, Gilbert.”

-- Page 189, The Blythes Are Quoted

Feel free to respond to this post with any of your favorite shirbert moments that I missed!

#Shirbert #Anne Shirley #Gilbert Blythe #aogg #anne of avonlea #anne of the island #anne of windy poplars #anne of ingleside #anne's house of dreams #the blythes are quoted

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luvliesl · 3 years

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Ok but like what if the Simon Snow Series had a prequel?

I recently read Rainbow Rowell's interview with Vanity Fair (which I would link if I weren't technologically inept, but I am so anyone interested will just have to look it up sorry) But one of the questions talks about the possibility of Rainbow writing another Simon and Baz related book and part of her answer got me thinking.

“But I would never say I'm never going to write about them again. I think it's likely that I might revisit them someday. But this story is over. If I were to come back to them, it won't pick up the next day.”

Honestly I tend to get annoyed with people who sit around begging for more books in a series (or a film adaptation for that matter) when it just clearly is not going to happen. Especially since I think AWTWB ended in a good place and I don't think their story needs adding to so I am in no way holding out for a 4th Simon Snow book.

But it did get me thinking, what about a prequel? I know they tend to be pretty hit or miss and a lot of people tend to find them boring or just straight up not like them but in this case I feel like it could be really interesting.

Just Imagine:

all of the adventures we know Simon had explained in more depth (chimera, Baz trying to steal his voice, why the goblins want him dead, ALL of the things the humdrum sent)

But also even more stories and adventures we don't know about or have short little mentions (Simon killing a were dog, him saving Agatha from a well)

All of Simon and Baz’s fights (we need a full pushing down the stairs scene)

Seeing more of Simons magic

Along with some other non-Watford things like Simons experience in the care homes

Baz learning about his vampirism and also how to deal with it

Baz and Agatha's whole thing in the wavering woods

But mostly the slow descend into Baz falling in love with Simon AS ITS HAPPENING

But also being able to flush out some more of the relationships.

- Simon and the mage (I know we all hate him but really seeing all the ways he hurt Simon could be both sad and interesting)

-Simon and Ebb

-Simon and Agatha (seeing their relationship in full swing would be kinda weird though)

-Simon and that one random nurse who I don't remember her name off the top of my head but it was a great scene

-Its mentioned in Carry On that Simon is like acquaintances with a lot of students so seeing him interact with outside people

-Baz and his whole family really (Fiona, Malcom, Daphne, his siblings) (also this is the stupidest little tid bit but for some reason I have always been curious about how his family found out he was gay and just how all of that went down)

-Baz and Dev/Niall (the one Dev scene is AWTWB was gold and I need more of Baz having interactions with people beside his family and Simon)

-Penny and Micah? (I know he is old news now but still)

-Ebb and Mara the dryad???

Literally the possibilities are endless

In addition we can get the sense from Carry On that their eighth year isn't a very normal year for them. (Baz is gone for a long time, the mage tries to get Simon to leave, Simon and Agatha are on weird terms and then of course winter break and forward everything changes for them in multiple aspects)

So we never really get to see what being at Watford is really like for them normally or what their personalities were like before since they do so much growing in Carry on.

I would be lying if I didn't mention that part of the reason I want this is because of the fan fic Rebel Rebel by basic-banshee (which if you somehow haven't read yet go do that like right now) (once again would link if I knew how) Because I loved seeing Baz grow up and the experience of seeing him go through things as they were happening like his father marrying Daphne and then having children or him figuring about about his vampirism. And getting a canon version of that would just be amazing.

Anyways this was a super long post and I doubt anyone will actually make it to the end but obviously this whole post is just hypothetical and an idea I had, but I felt like it needed to be shared because it would be great.

#awtwb spoilers #any way the wind blows #simon snow #baz pitch #agatha wellbelove #penelope bunce #the simon snow trilogy #rainbow rowell #carry on #wayward son #i dont know how to tumblr #help #i dont know how to tag either #can this happen please #i hope this reaches at least one person

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knifetoxgunfight · 3 years

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Catching Up

Word Count: 1228 Requested: No Summary: Bucky discovers Tik Tok. Genre: Fluff Pairing: Sambucky (Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes) Warnings: None

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Bucky walked into their shared apartment, a new phone in his hand. He seemed perplexed, confused by the small device. He had learned many ins and outs of modern technology in Wakanda, but the internet still confused him. The device was so small, yet could do more than most computers he had ever used. The internet wasn’t even a thought yet in the 40s. He couldn’t quite grasp what it was, why it was so popular, and how to use it. He hadn’t noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, swiping through a particular app he was trying to understand until Sam walked up to him. Sam hadn’t said anything for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest in hopes Bucky would notice him before he spoke. Much to his dismay, Bucky was too enthralled in the small device to pay any mind to Sam. He wasn’t intentionally ignoring the other, he was just incredibly focused. It spoke to his comfort around his lover; He was comfortable enough in their shared apartment to let his guard down and get distracted. Bucky didn’t feel the need to know everything around him all the time here. Sam finally spoke up.

“Bucky? What are you….oh. Need some help, old man?” Sam was just teasing. Cell phones were confusing to people who lived their whole lives in the modern-day, he was astonished Bucky managed to understand half of the things he did. Bucky was so open to new concepts, learning new information, and adapting his behavior. He had such an open mind to learn, something most people in the modern-day lacked. Sam was constantly proud of his boyfriend, but a little teasing was inevitable.

“Shut up, Sam. I’ve got it,” Bucky huffed, resistant to Sam’s help. He wanted to figure it out on his own. He felt like he had something to prove. He belonged here, he just wanted to feel like he did. He felt he belonged here, in this apartment, but in the outside world, he felt so out of time. Everything moved so fast and he barely was able to catch up. He constantly felt that every time he got close, there was something new to learn. Before Bucky had a chance to react, Sam reached forward, snatching the phone from Bucky’s hand.

“Sam stop-”

“Twitter huh? Seems like you got it pretty figured out here. You’re verified.”

“That’s not what I was trying to figure out. Shuri mentioned something about this like tik tok and I wanted to figure it out. I was gonna ask Twitter for help.” He was embarrassed. Bucky thought he sounded like an idiot, not knowing what any of these things were. Young people talked about it all the time, that and a long-gone app called Vine. He hated being around teens because they were barely a fraction of his age and so much more advanced than he was. Teenagers made him feel so far behind. At least around teenagers, he was supposed to feel out of place, but with Sam? He just wanted to be on the same level or at least close.

“I’m impressed. You didn’t have to ask Twitter, I know how tik tok works. C’mere let me show you.” Bucky grumbled. He wanted to do it himself, yet he couldn’t resist the excitement in Sam’s voice. Sam was always so eager to help Bucky, but Bucky felt bad asking for help. These were things any person born of modern times just knew. If Sam had been with anyone else, he wouldn’t have to offer help. Bucky wanted to at least pretend they had a normal relationship.“Okay so you see this plus sign at the bottom of the screen, you tap here to make a video…” They spent hours teaching Bucky the ins and outs of tik tok. They made Bucky an account and posted a few videos. For every one video they posted, they made about 100 drafts of other things. They posted some on Sam’s account, some on Bucky’s. Viewers loved Bucky and loved their relationship. They quickly became a tik tok power couple. Bucky was verified rather quickly and eventually found his niche. Most of the cute couple videos were usually on Sam’s account, but Bucky had other plans.

People asked a lot of questions, most often about his involvement in history and what the Winter Soldier had done. He didn’t mind, having moved past that part of his life and made it pretty far into his recovery. Some things were a little much, but he just didn’t answer those ones, and Sam taught him how to block people. Oftentimes Sam would reply to those comments, letting them know Bucky wasn’t comfortable answering those kinds of questions. Bucky answered a lot of questions...though most of them were fictitious stories. Nobody could tell him he was wrong, they weren’t there. Not all of his stories were falsified, so nobody really knew what was true and what wasn’t. He told adventures he never went on, changed details to make stories more entertaining, and even added some embarrassment to his friends that weren’t true. Even Sam had trouble deciphering the falsified stories from the real ones. Once, specifically after watching a tik tok Bucky had made detailing a false story about pre-serum Steve, Sam went up to Bucky. He was almost tricked into thinking it was real, but it sounded too good to be true. It was far too funny.

“Did he really do that?” Bucky paused before answering, breakout out into a fit of laughter. Sam wasn’t sure why he was laughing, it was a genuine question.

“No, idiot. I made it up, you should know I do this by now.”

The real fun came when people started asking Bucky about times he wasn’t even alive for. He was born in 1917, though doesn’t really remember much before the war. It was over 100 years ago, it wasn’t his fault. He invented this elaborate narrative, that Hydra had invented time travel and made him gather intel from times before. It was a rather complex story, one that felt almost too detailed to be false. Nobody could tell if he was serious or not. Bucky loved it, he had the whole world at his fingertips, and they all loved him.

Sam's tik tok was a whole different dynamic. He forced Bucky into all the couple challenges and trends, a few failing miserably and ending hilariously. Bucky acted as if he hated it, though, in reality, he found it adorable and endearing. Sam used it to document their lives, and answer questions, both about the world and their relationship. It was unexpected how many questions people had about their relationship. Some were highly inappropriate, but they answered them without answering, making jokes along the way. Really, it was just a lighthearted way to connect with people who loved them, and for them to share their love with the world. Most people were so very accepting and supportive, and the few who weren’t were just a laugh for the couple. Truly, it was perfect. They had their fair share of haters, especially people who were angry that Captain America was in a gay relationship, especially with an ex-Hydra assassin, but they brushed it off. For every one person who hated them, there were 10 more that loved them. And that was enough.

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sepedarodatiga · 3 years

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The Snow Queen fairytale as a motif used in GoT/ASOIAF

First of all, how many fairytales and myths can GRRM fit into this story, seriously?? I know many have written well thought and well informed meta of various fairytale motives fit with ASOIAF/GoT, and I am just here adding into an already huge pile, but it bothers me, okay. I have to get it out there into the tumblr void. And this is not really a well thought and well informed meta (I’m not a folklore/literature expert, not to mention European folklore/literature), I’m just pointing my fingers into the patterns I saw fit. Also, I can’t count myself as ASOIAF book reader, I just watch the show. What I know about the books, I read it here in tumblr.

But anyway, you might be surprised as to which character I saw fit as The Snow Queen in GoT

It’s Daenerys Targaryen.

I know I know... whaat? The Mother of Dragons, Bride of Fire as The Snow Queen? Get out of here, right...

But it’s a pun. It’s not The Snow Queen, it’s Jon Snow’s Queen, get it? Remember how Jon repeatedly saying “you’re my queen” to Dany during season 8? Yeah. Oh and Jon is Kay, while Sansa is Gerda.

What made me realize that Dany is The Snow Queen is when I was reading my son the fairytale. In the version retold by Kate Friend, it describes The Snow Queen as beautiful and terrible. And I was like, huh, just like Dany, especially with the white hair and the all white costume in season 8.

Daenerys Targaryen, beautiful and terrible.

And then of course the story went on describing how Kay becomes her prisoner and then I was like, well that’s like Jon Snow during season 8 too.... And then in Disney’s adaptation Frozen, Elsa has white hair with purple eyeshadow, while Anna (Gerda) has....red hair....which is like... Sansa Stark. Then I also remember the illustration on my son’s book which is by John Patience, that reminded me of the Iron Throne.

The Snow Queen illustration by John Patience. See how much alike this setting is with the Red Keep? Especially in Dany’s vision in HoTU when snow was falling.

So I went investigating, and shit... I mean obviously the sequencing was moved around, GRRM likes to subvert things, but my God!

Before we get into Jon Snow and his queen, I have to start with the other characters first. And I will be taking excerpt of the story from The Hans Christian Andersen Center website which I assume would be the most original one.

Gerda = Sansa Stark

Here is a description of Gerda’s power: “No power that I could give could be as great as that which she already has. Don't you see how men and beasts are compelled to serve her, and how far she has come in the wide world since she started out in her naked feet? We mustn't tell her about this power. Strength lies in her heart, because she is such a sweet, innocent child.”

Furthermore, her connection with Kay are through roses (they have a window box full of roses) and a song that goes like this: "Where roses bloom so sweetly in the vale, There shall you find the Christ Child, without fail." Another variation of the song is: “The rose in the valley has flowers so sweet, and angels come down there the children to greet.” She saved Kay with her prayers, hugs, kisses, tears and her song and their reunion literally ended winter and brings spring. If that’s not Sansa Stark (and the jonsa reunion), then I don’t know what is.

Gerda made a journey to the North to find Kay and bring him back together with her to their home. Sansa did not meant to make a journey North to find Jon and bring him back home, but this is what happened anyway. The story even stressed on the fact that when they came back to their homes, they were no longer children but grown ups. On her quest Gerda offered her red shoes to the river to get information about Kay’s whereabouts but the red shoes were given back to her the first time. But she did it once again and the river set her on the path to find Kay. I’m not really sure but for Sansa it could be her betrothal to Joffrey that was then canceled but then she got married to Tyrion Lannister. Her red shoes is her name and her claim to the North.

Gerda then met an old woman who wanted to keep her and made her forget about Kay by keeping all the roses underground. The old woman’s place was beautiful. Here is an excerpt: “Then Gerda was led into the flower garden. How fragrant and lovely it was! Every known flower of every season was there in full bloom. No picture book was ever so pretty and gay. Gerda jumped for joy, and played in the garden until the sun went down behind the tall cherry trees. Then she was tucked into a beautiful bed, under a red silk coverlet quilted with blue violets. There she slept, and there she dreamed as gloriously as any queen on her wedding day.” But then she saw a rose on the old woman’s hat and finally remembers her purpose of finding Kay. I would say that the old woman is Cersei Lannister who tried to make Sansa forget about her home and her innocence. Sansa was also saved from her clutch by roses (The Tyrells).

Then Gerda with information from a crow, met a Princess and Prince. She thought that the Prince might be Kay, but it turns out he was not. This might be Sansa’s vale arc and the Prince is either Petyr Baelish or Harry Hardyng. The Prince and Princess also gave provisions for Gerda’s journey to the North, so this may be that the KoTV helps Sansa getting Winterfell back. The crow, has a ladylove, another crow and they finally get married and live in the Princess’s castle though unfortunately the crow then died. The crow was a wild forest crow while his ladylove is a tame crow. These two crows could be genderbent into Sam Tarly and Gilly. Remember that Sam is mock as Jon’s ladylove by Alliser Thorne?

Next Gerda met a robber girl who sleeps with a knife and have plenty of pigeons. Yep, of course that is very much like Arya Stark (who sometimes is being referred to as “a girl”)

The pigeons told Gerda about Kay and The Snow Queen. The robber girl finally gave Gerda her reindeer called Bae for her journey to the North. The girl likes to tickle the reindeer’s neck with her knife. At the end of the story it is told that the robber girl then decided to leave her place and find adventure in the world. Very much like Arya’s ending.

Now about that reindeer Bae who helped Gerda to reach to Kay in The Snow Queen’s palace in the far North. In ASOIAF/GoT, we can connect Bae to Baelish. Make sense. Petyr Baelish helps Sansa get to North and Arya’s knife did end up in his neck. But also we can connect it to two foreshadowing of Sansa bearing Jon’s child. The first is more well-known: Bael the Bard. The second one I think is more hidden and I made a post about it quite long ago: Baelor. Is this far fetched? Maybe, but I’ll take it.

Kay = Jon (+ The Night King)

Kay and Gerda are neighbours and they share a garden (particularly a flower box full of roses). Their relationship, in the words of Hans Christian Andersen himself are: “These children were not brother and sister, but they loved each other just as much as if they had been.” So they are NOT brother and sister but love each other as such. While Jon and Sansa are also NOT brother and sister but was raised as such.

Then Kay got splinters of magic mirror stuck to his eyes and his heart. The mirror “made everything great and good that was reflected in it appear small and ugly, but which magnified all evil things until each blemish loomed large”. It made Kay hated all the roses, they look ugly now to his eyes and also made Kay loved the snow and the cold. Jon Snow at the beginning of the story was a cynical little boy because he was raised as a bastard. He wanted to leave Winterfell and sneered at the idea of having a family of his own because he felt that he can’t have them. So he went to the coldest place there is.

In the story, Kay plays with his sled, and then The Snow Queen came with her sled and Kay hooked his sled to hers. The Snow Queen first, covers Kay in a bearskin rug and gave Kay kisses. The first kiss “was colder than ice. He felt it right down to his heart, half of which was already an icy lump. He felt as if he were dying, but only for a moment. Then he felt quite comfortable, and no longer noticed the cold”. The second kiss makes Kay forgets about Gerda and their homes. The third kiss, The Snow Queen does not give him because it would be the kiss of death.

I argue that GRRM subvert this story. I think Jon Snow was already saved by Sansa before he met Dany. The splinters in his eyes and heart was already gone when he faced The Snow Queen. The reunion happened before he met Dany. The first two kisses also already happened: Jon Snow had died and came alive again, and he also forced to forget about his home and family while he was at the Night’s Watch. The bearskin rug which The Snow Queen used to cover Kay can allude to Jeor Mormont and/or Longclaw.

Then Jon Snow met his queen finally, but instead of a hooking sleds.... it’s dragons. Jon Snow’s sled was his dragon Rhaegal which are hooked to Dany’s sled Drogon. But his eyes wasn’t blinded by the splinter and his heart were already warm. He knowingly and willingly follow the dragon to save his family.

And the third kiss of death that wasn’t given by The Snow Queen? Jon Snow will give it to his queen instead.

Now let’s go back a little bit. Kay was also given a puzzle from ice by The Snow Queen, and if he can solve it then he is free. He was supposed to spell the word “eternity” but he couldn’t figure it out with the shard in his eyes and heart. In GoT we know exactly who has got an shard in his heart.

The Night King. And so that is why he plays with puzzle in ice. He is struggling to form the one symbol that would set him free.

Bonuses

Other than those patterns, there are several interesting tidbits from the story that fits with ASOIAF. There is this one blog said that The Snow Queen story was inspired by another story called “East of the Sun and West of the Moon” which if you read it, it is essentially “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” (the bear is a white bear, by the way)

More bonuses here. When Gerda finally remembers to find Kay during her time in the old woman’s home because of the rose, different flowers gave her different stories even though none tells her about Kay.

This is the story from tiger lily:

"Do you hear the drum? Boom, boom! It was only two notes, always boom, boom! Hear the women wail. Hear the priests chant. The Hindoo woman in her long red robe stands on the funeral pyre. The flames rise around her and her dead husband, but the Hindoo woman is thinking of that living man in the crowd around them. She is thinking of him whose eyes are burning hotter than the flames-of him whose fiery glances have pierced her heart more deeply than these flames that soon will burn her body to ashes. Can the flame of the heart die in the flame of the funeral pyre?"

So GRRM didn’t take the sati ritual for Dany’s rites of passage as mother of dragons from just anywhere, but it is from this story.

Also, hear this story from hyacinth

"There were three sisters, quite transparent and very fair. One wore a red dress, the second wore a blue one, and the third went all in white. Hand in hand they danced in the clear moonlight, beside a calm lake. They were not elfin folk. They were human beings. The air was sweet, and the sisters disappeared into the forest. The fragrance of the air grew sweeter. Three coffins, in which lie the three sisters, glide out of the forest and across the lake. The fireflies hover about them like little flickering lights. Are the dancing sisters sleeping or are they dead? The fragrance of the flowers says they are dead, and the evening bell tolls for their funeral."

Of course this immediately bring to memory the quote of Jon Snow with Val: “The light of the half-moon turned Val’s honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. “The air tastes sweet.”” Well then, according to Hans Christian Andersen, that means death. There are three sisters here which could allude to the three queens at the almost end of GoT: Cersei Lannister (red), Sansa Stark (blue) and Daenerys Targaryen (white).

So those are my stab at it. I would be interested to hear if anyone’s take on it.

#jonsa #anti jonerys #anti daenerys targaryen #sansa stark #jon snow #the snow queen

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

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Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) -Modern!Shirbert

A/N: That’s right! I’m starting a new (old if you ask the fellas in Ao3 lmao) AWAE series!! I was waiting to have enough chapters and now that day is finally here! I hope you like it -Danny

Words: 3,961

Next Chapter

Chapter One: Make Your Own Decision.

'Two souls don't find each other

by simple accident.'

Gilbert wasn't a morning person.

Medical school was a pain in the ass, he didn't need to say that to anyone– He didn't like to complain at all if he was honest, after all, it was thanks to school that he was going to become a doctor. Still, he missed the lazy mornings on his bed, no worries in the world apart from what his father would make for breakfast.

That was years ago, though. Now he was an adult (or the closest thing to it, anyway) and he had bills to pay, he didn't have to pay rent and that was certainly a good thing, Bash and Mary were a gift sent from heaven after his dad had died, but he still helped around their house, along with the schoolwork he worked on relentlessly while trying to ignore the uncertain future knocking on his door almost every day.

After all the sleepless nights pacing around the kitchen, lights on and coffee maker ready to go, memorizing things and finishing research papers, he's pretty sure this isn't exactly healthy, but if he's bound to have similar routines for the rest of his life, he might as well get used to it.

He tries not to think a lot about that, his future, that is. All around him friends start to settle down, move out to their own places, find love, travel, having adventures while he spends all his weekends locked in his room learning about a new subject that is just as thrilling as any date he could possibly have.

That's a lie, of course. He longs for a break, an excuse to run wild and free just one night.

Luckily for him, that opportunity comes this Friday.

___________________

Anne's in love with the early sunlight, that warm, clear light that slips through her window every morning to announce a new day with no mistakes in it yet was about to start.

She loves the quiet, how time slows down for her while she pours a second cup of tea for her morning readings before heading to school. She loves the muffled noises Diana and Cole make while getting up, letting her know she has to hurry if she wants to start her routine on time.

She's a simple young woman (a very new one at that, if she was honest) and the little things still manage to give her a thrill that parties or any kind of social interaction simply can't.

That's half a truth, of course. She misses the weekly reunions with her Highschool friends, the bike rides with Jerry, her old neighbor, whenever they needed someone to rant about stupid things and none of their friends was around to do so.

Despite all this, she is fine. Anne follows the path to her dream: to become a successful writer for all kinds of people, to tell the stories that people need most at the moments when all hope seems lost and love is scarce.

However, when her Highschool friends text her and Diana about a much-needed reunion, she didn't have to think twice before replying with 'Oh god, YES.'

___________________

The Orchard was fairly known for its homely 'aesthetic' as some would call it, which attracted the younger people that needed a break from their crazy student lives. The diner had originally belonged to Gilbert's dad, but when he passed away, it fell onto Gilbert's hands and him, not wanting to close the place that had so many memories of his childhood, decided to add Bash's name into the papers.

Their dads had been good friends most of their lives, and although Gilbert and Bash aren't the same age, he thinks of him as some kind of older brother who always helped him get through the hard times, especially right after his father was gone. It was only natural that Bash owned half of the diner, after all, he loved the place as much as Gilbert, for his father had worked there in the bar while Mr. Blythe served the costumers.

The two lousy boys had dedicated most of their free, youthful time, to run around the place like they owned it. Now that they did, it was pretty much the same, only that this time they run around placing food on the tables and scribbling people's orders.

After a few months of hectic confusion, Bash's mother practically forced them to hire more staff, since they had their hands full and Gilbert was breaking under the pressure that it was to keep the business going the same as his career.

They hired one of Gilbert's old friends and a few students that lived near the diner. Moody Spurgeon, Prissy Andrews, Charlie Sloane, and the Pauls (They weren't related, they just happened to be named Paul).

That Friday was the last before their winter break, so it was packed with tons of eager students wanting to eat their money away now that most of them were returning home for the holidays. This meant two wonderful things to Gilbert:

One, the diner was going great.

Two, he was getting the well-deserved sleep he'd been lacking for months.

Excluding that night, because that night he was going to get utterly shitfaced with Moody and company after their evening shift.

___________________

"I've never heard of that place before," Anne replied distractedly as she kept grabbing things from the table and putting them inside her bag.

"Students love that place, Ruby says they serve the best food and she's always there, but Jane says she's actually crushing on one of the waiters, though Ruby refuses to either confirm or deny..."

"Ruby's always crushing on someone, though," Cole replied. "If she's still going after all this time, the food must be worth it as much as any cute boy."

"I honestly don't care as long as there's enough room to sit and have a long, long chat with all of you," Anne smiled dreamily. "I've missed them so much! Even Josie– And you know how often she tends to get on my nerves!"

"You wouldn't be missing them so much if you could put the books down every once in a while to hang with us," Diana rolled her eyes. "Honestly Anne, it's a miracle you're not blind or wear glasses at all after all the hours you stay with your face glued to the pages."

"I'd look awful with glasses!" Anne grimaced. "I hope my eyesight stays the same for the rest of my life."

"Well then, take care of your eyes and take a break from those books. Leave your bag here, you won't need it," Cole grinned.

Anne's eyes landed on the bag laying on top of their table. That bag was used for one thing only: To carry as many books as possible in case she got bored, so she could read at any time, any place. Also to carry her keys and pads, but those weren't as important.

"But... what if the girls arrive late?"

"You can talk to us, or are we too boring for you now, Miss Literate?" Diana teased.

"You know that's not it," She rolled her eyes. "Okay, if you want I'll leave the books."

"Perfect," Cole clapped once and got up excitedly. "Let's go!"

___________________

"Gilbert, come back to earth and take this to table three, will you?" Charlie hissed, putting the plate in front of his nose and waking the boy abruptly.

"Sorry!" He jumped, walking hurriedly to said table.

When he got back, Charlie was still there, examining his face.

"Are you sure you want to go out, man? I can tell you're worn out, maybe you should take a–"

"No!" Gilbert growled. He cleared his throat and continued on a much lighter voice after noticing this. "I- Uh, I'll be fine. I'll sleep all I want tomorrow, but today I really want to go out, before you and the boys go back to your homes for Christmas."

Charlie nodded with uncertainty.

"Maybe you should change places with Bash? The kitchen might keep you alert instead of sitting here and wait for people to call you over."

"Yeah..."

"I'll get him," His friend decided, walking back to the kitchen.

Gilbert heard the entrance's bell ring and turned to see Ruby Gillis and a few other girls enter.

Ruby was a good and constant client. He was glad about Bash taking his place because he believed that Ruby had a crush on Moody, and the waiter always took her orders no matter the table she was in, he didn't have enough energy to watch them ogle at each other.

"You okay, Blythe?" Bash patted his back once he and Charlie reappeared behind him. "You're sure you want to go out? With that look, you're likely to scare all the ladies away instead of getting a date for our Christmas party."

"Very funny," Gilbert scoffed. "I'm fine, I just need to stay active."

Before either Bash or Charlie could reply, he rushed into the kitchen, missing the exact moment when three new costumers arrived at the place.

***

"I see why people love it here," Anne said. "I feel cozy just by looking at it!"

"Yeah," Cole agreed, frowning slightly. "We are going to a bar after this, aren't we?"

"Cole!" They replied.

"I'm just asking!" He exclaimed. "It's lovely and all, but I'm not spending my last weekend away from my maniac siblings eating a freaking burger."

"It's likely," Diana retorted. When she noticed Anne's eyes widening, she quickly added. "No one will force you to get drunk, I know you hate how... uhm– Well, how crazy you get."

"I love drunk Anne!" Cole laughed. "Last time I saw her we were playing truth or dare and she was dared to kiss one of my friends, but then I convinced Josie to change the dare and after that Anne grabbed me by the collar and whispered very loudly. 'Thank you Cole. I actually want to kiss you now' and when I reminded her I was gay, she retorted 'Oh, sorry Gay, I thought you were Cole' "

Diana and Cole chortled, Anne shook her head in horror.

"Drunk me is terrible!"

"No! Only her puns are."

"Can we just get a table, please?"

"Oh!" Diana grabbed her arm, pulling her to a distant corner. "They're here already!"

The next few hours passed way too fast. Anne, finally reunited with her best friends, felt as if she was finally coming back to life.

As Diana had predicted, they decided to go to a bar a few streets down the road from The Orchard. A place their waiter, a young man named Moody and who Anne suspected was the waiter Ruby had feelings for, had recommended to them, casually letting them know that he was going to be there after work with a few of his friends. Ruby practically dragged them to the bar as soon as they paid the bill.

"Bet Ruby ends up declaring her love to that waiter in less than an hour, and ends up spending the rest of the Holidays mourning because she scared him away," Josie whispered audibly to Jane and Anne. The former sniggered and nudged Josie's arm. Anne frowned worryingly towards her friend, really hoping that wasn't the case.

___________________

"Who's ready to lose all memories from whatever happens tonight?" Paul asked loudly over the music, placing a bunch of drinks in front of the group.

The boys answered by chugging down drink after drink, getting clumsier as time went by.

Gilbert was having a blast, most of his days he wishes he could go back to being a teenager, slightly more different than the one he was. One that wasn't all that quiet and reserved and bitter about his dad's fate.

He longed for his lost youth, where he would attend parties and go to prom looking sharp, accompanied by a pretty girl beside him. All those teams and clubs he had to leave to stay home and spend the last days of his father's life next to his bed, all those gatherings he missed with people from other places because he had to get the best grades so one day he could be a doctor, so he could save the people he loved... so he didn't have to live through the uncertainty and the uselessness again.

Tonight he was finally getting that, he could pretend he was still just a boy, a stupid boy who didn't know how to drink and most certainly would end up throwing up half his stomach out of his body, but a happy boy at least.

"You know," He yelled to no one in particular. "Did you know, that you guys are my best friends?"

The boys replied with words of appreciation, patting his back harshly. Charlie even hugged him.

"I mean it!" He continued. "These last few months have been shit. There, I said it. Shit."

"What you need," One of the Pauls said, he wasn't as drunk as Gilbert, but he was definitely almost there. "What you need is to get laid."

The boys erupted into mayhem, agreeing with Paul. All of them except for Gilbert.

He frowned, not understanding what they meant.

"I said I'm not tired," Gilbert shook his head, his whole body losing stability and crashing against Moody, who held him in place as if it was normal to lose your ground while sitting on a chair. "I don't need to lay in bed just yet."

"I meant sex," Paul retorted, chugging down half of what he had in his glass.

"Oh," Gilbert sat back, eyebrows raising as if he'd never thought about it before. "Well, that's different."

"You need a break," Charlie slurred. "Or is the good doctor too much of a saint to touch a strange girl?"

"I'm not," Gilbert huffed, drinking what was left of his drink. "I can have sex. I like sex!"

"But Gilbert, you've never had–" Moody started, but was soon cut off by Gilbert's sudden movement.

The young man stood up, leaning on the table and losing all the color on his face. The rest of the group moved away as Moody grabbed Gilbert by the shoulders and straightened him up.

"Gilbert?" He asked, slightly coming back to his senses.

"Bathroom," He said quietly.

"Alright," Moody gulped. "Be right back, guys. Gilbert needs a moment."

___________________

Anne spent the majority of the night talking with everyone, and the problem with that is that she gets thirsty when that happens. Which is a dangerous thing to be at a bar.

Still, Cole -what a great friend he was- made sure to always keep her glass full so she could take sip after sip without having to wait.

She knew she was far from sober when she found herself in the middle of an argument with Josie and Tillie about zodiac signs. Anne was talkative on the daily, but after a few drinks she was simply unstoppable- There was no soul on earth or heaven that could follow her train of thoughts, and right now she wasn't even sure she was following them herself.

"I have to pee," She said, interrupting her own story and sliding out of their booth to stand up.

"I'll go with you," Ruby said, impatient to have an excuse to stand up and look around for Moody, she'd barely touched her drink all night.

"Okay, but it's not like I need help or anything," Anne rolled her eyes, accidentally stepping on Tillie's foot. "Woops! Sorry, Tillie!"

Cole watched her along with Diana, both raising their glasses and making a silent toast for their friend. Anne was finally having fun after such a dull term and it was simply amusing watching her act so recklessly during her drunken state.

"Don't stay for too long Anne," Ruby warned her. "Last time you fell asleep inside the stall and Diana had to crawl underneath to get you out!"

"It wasn't my fault!" She replied loudly. "I hadn't slept at all that week, and the alcohol makes wonders to my insomnia."

"I think you've had enough for tonight as well," Ruby grinned. "I'll get you a cold glass of water once where back in our table, okay?"

Anne nodded, silently making her way into the girl's toilet. Since it was just one bathroom, Ruby had to stand outside, leaning on the sink and examining her reflection on the mirror. Two men, one dragging the other, walk past her in a rush and opened the boy's bathroom harshly, the one who'd been dragged quickly fell to his knees and started vomiting his guts out.

"Oh my god!" Ruby gasped, covering her mouth in horror. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine," The guy said without turning to see her. "He doesn't drink this much often, that's all."

The young man stood up once he made sure Gilbert was doing fine on his own, not choking or anything, and turn to meet the blonde's eyes.

"Oh," His cheeks reddened. "Hi!"

"Moody!" She exclaimed happily. "You weren't lying, you came here after all!"

"Yeah," He smiled. "We wanted to give our buddy Gilbert a good night before we return home. Now I'm not so sure about it..." He grimaced at hearing his friend's grunts and gags.

"I'm with my friends as well, but I..." Ruby blushed lightly, even that she managed to make enchanting. "If you have time, we could seat together for a moment? Just the two of us?"

"Right now?" Moody asked in surprise.

"Well, no," Ruby peered over his shoulder at the boy's bathroom. "Not if you can't, I see your friend is feeling terrible..."

"He'll recover," Moody brushed it off. "He's studying to become a doctor, you know? I bet he'll see his way out now that the alcohol's out of his system"

"You're sure?" The girl inquired.

"Are you able right now?" Moody looked behind her to see the girl's door. "Were you waiting in line or is one of your friends there?"

"A friend, she's also wasted," Ruby said, pondering her options. "But... I guess if she managed to walk all the way here on her own... she can walk back just fine?"

Moody's smile widened.

"We better go get those drinks, then?"

"Sure!" Ruby exclaimed, holding Moody's wrist and dragging him back to the bar.

A minute after her friend had left, Anne walked out of the toilet, mid-conversation with a Ruby she didn't know was no longer there.

"... and the toilets here are so comfortable, I almost felt tempted to have a nap right there, but a promise is a promise– See, Ruby? I didn't stay for too long!" She looked up to find the spot empty, her confidence falling. "Or perhaps I did..?"

Lightly stumbling her way over to the sink, she focused on washing her hands before going back. Her reflection looked back at her and smiled happily, putting some strands of loose hair behind her ear and failing to notice the boy's door opening.

There was a small slate on her right with the words 'Wash your hands before you leave! :)' written with purple chalk that she found adorable. She picked it up to examine it further when a body clumsily crashed against her side.

"Woops!" The man said, not looking up. "Sorry."

Anne raised her brow for a second before turning her attention back to the slate.

Gilbert washed his face and hands, the world less blurry than before but still awfully intoxicated. Paul's comment came back to him and feeling the girl's presence behind his back he decided it was rather convenient.

"Excuse me," He asked, looking up and facing the girl's reflection. "Can I ask you something?"

It took her a moment to realize he was talking to her, the man kept staring at the mirror instead of turning to face her, but she could sort of see his face under the dim lights looking back at her though, and since she was feeling rather chatty, she obliged.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do I look like I need sex?"

Anne laughed.

"Dunno, why're you asking?"

"My life sucks," Gilbert shook his head casually. "And I'm about to have the worst hangover ever."

"That makes two of us, dude."

Gilbert tilted his head, turning to see her now, taking in her appearance.

"You would have sex with me?"

"Excuse me," Anne frowned. "I barely know you!"

"Yeah, but am I attractive?"

"It doesn't matter, I wouldn't have sex with a stranger."

"Very well, then imagine that I'm not a stranger," Gilbert rolled his eyes, having to hold on to the corner of the sink so as not to lose his balance. "Would you do it?"

Anne started to imagine, she imagined a great deal so she could give a precise answer.

"Well, I'd have to know your medical records cause I don't wanna get any diseases, and then I'd have to find you likable because looks aren't everything– and if I'm having sex with you I probably want something that lasts–"

"Nevermind," Gilbert snorted. "I think we're both better if we don't have anything at all."

"Why's that?" Anne asked irritatedly, this guy was making no sense to her.

"You overthink a lot and I already do that way too much for my own good," Gilbert explained.

"Oh, so you'd rather take advantage of a dumb girl, is that what you're saying?"

"That's what you're saying," He scoffed. "I only asked if you'd have sex with me in a hypothetical scenario but you rambled on with the rest, Carrots."

"I was giving an honest reply," She stated. "And don't call me, Carrots. You sound like a child."

Gilbert laughed loudly at that.

"Better a child than a grumpy librarian," He walked up to her, grabbed a strand of her hair and pulled lightly, with a taunting voice, he added. "Carrots."

Anne's fingers gripped the slate harder than ever as she flung it to the man's head. It was small and thin, so it didn't cause severe damage, but the slate broke in half with a nasty 'crack' that pleased her a bit too much.

"How dare you!" She yelled in drunk anger. "I don't know who the hell you are, but I'm certain no one would have sex with a jerk!"

She stormed off, giving Gilbert no opportunity to apologize. Although he didn't seem to mind that much at the moment, the things around him spun once more and he had to return to the toilet to vomit what was left of his evening drinks, dreading the following morning.

___________________

Anne, Cole, and Diana returned home with rosy cheeks and loud laughter surrounding them. The trio intoxicated in happiness and many, many margaritas and shots.

"Best night ever!" Anne yelled as she let herself fall on the couch, kicking off her shoes.

"Told you it was going to be fun!" Diana grinned, laying beside her.

"My favorite part was to find Ruby making out with the waiter when I went to ask for the check," Cole cackled. "No wonder why she abandoned you in the bathroom!"

"Don't even tell me about it, I had the most unpleasant encounter–"

"Oh my god!" Diana sat up, looking at her phone with wide eyes. "It's four in the morning! We have to be back in Avonlea in less than eight hours!"

Cole and Anne groaned.

"Can't we have a nap first? We packed all of our things already!" Anne whined.

"Please?" Cole fell on the couch opposite to them. "I'm exhausted!"

"Fine..." Diana sighed. "But I'm certain my mom's gonna kill me for arriving late."

"What can she do? Forbid you to go to their Christmas dinner?" Cole chuckled. "Just sleep, Diana."

"Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight!"

"Sweet dreams," Anne mumbled, half-asleep.

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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 3 years

Text

2020 content creator review

i was tagged by @vishcount as usual, thank you 💕 i answered the questions below the cut, and everyone that is tagged is there too, if you just wanna skip my ramblings and go straight down there. (also gosh i hope all the links work rip)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020:

this lan wangji oneshot, apparently. i can’t remember when i actually wrote it, but my ao3 tells me i posted it in january 2020. i remember i just wanted to explore lwj’s time of mourning and dive into his mind of that time, even if it made me eternally sad?

my most recent 2020 creation that is public, is the second chapter to this casmund/edmund character study fic i started writing in 2016. i did not expect to return to that but rewatching the narnia movies did that to me. i guess it’s one of those ever-returning fandoms

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020:

my niemo (nie huaisang/mo xuanyu) fic, no question. diving into this, i fully knew that this pairing probably has a tiny audience and honestly, i did not expect to churn out 30k for them. god. am still suffering because why the fuck did i do that to myself (and everyone reading). thank you vishie for standing by me all the time.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it:

my historical taegi AU set in silla korea - i don’t think it’s actually a new style writing-wise, but it was an entirely different process of creating. i did a week of only research, diving into amounts of academic texts and sources to figure out my frame and setting. it was so much fun and in the end, with everything i learned, it felt like the fic was only just the ‘by-product’ of my research. though i must say, writing the story itself was challenging in a very different way, by that i mean that the characters made me furious and yet i had to write it like that cause i like to suffer :)

as for gifset, am not sure? i can’t think of any so i am just linking the daechwita mv cause it’s iconic. i guess this mv is more joseon inspired, while my setting was silla somewhere between the end of 7th and beginning of 8th century; but it was the final straw to finally make me write that historical taegi au i always wanted to write with hwarang tae. also this mv inspired me to have yoongi as a tyrannical king cause why not amirite?

4. a creation to be proud of:

my wei wuxian oneshot during burial mounds; i had a lot of fun writing him and projecting all my nightmares onto him. i went in without a plan and ended up with something i am actually quite proud of? it gave me so much space and room to just...pour out my words and not worry too much about anything else.

5. a creation that took forever:

my post-canon wangxian adventure or qinghe chaos, as i lovingly call it. i think i started writing it in november 2019? not entirely sure about that, i only know it took ages. i wanted to create a whole new political environment, as it takes place somewhere around 70 years after canon (they wanna be immortal, shut up) and it was fun thinking of new challenges and new obstacles that face the new generation of cultivators. unfortunately i did not have the capacity to write a full blown political conflict. that’s why i never really incorporated all my thoughts into the story itself, but hey, if anyone has questions i have notes (and vishie, once again, is the most blessed person to plot with me, ily)

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

am gonna measure this by kudos on ao3 in that case, which would be the aforementioned lwj oneshot Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon. I feel incredibly fond of it and i’m really happy that people liked it. it feels special somehow and i just want to thank everyone who read that and liked it.

7. a creation you think deserved more notes:

oh i wrote many fics that year for smaller fandoms, which makes me grateful for every single feedback i received. i think i had hoped my previously mentioned historical AU would receive more, but it’s okay because i still loved it.

another one is this princess sook myung/ah roh fic that i wrote for my ‘make hwarang gay again’ series. i finally finished this show and it furstrated me so much - the gay potential that went to waste, the horrendous writing for female characters. i liked the chemistry between ah roh and the princess, and yes i get it, it’s a rare pair and this fandom is kinda dead, but. the girls deserve their shine and love (though still, i am grateful for every single kudos i receive and i am still proud of it)

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

i joined many new fandoms this year for which i wrote, but i want to mention my shang xirui character study for winter begonia, because it was very interesting to explore that? and i had fun too, it was one of the first things i properly wrote after my hiatus, so i felt quite proud. also once again, this fandom has way too little content and the show is underrated.

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart:

i wanna mention two here. first is this wen ning & song lan oneshot that was a pure joy and also very sad to write. i just love these two so much, and i love them together even more. i have many thoughts how much comfort they could give each other and believe me, i have many more that i want to explore in the future.

the second one is the mu nihuang & xiao jingyan oneshot i wrote for the nirvana in fire gift exchange 2020. it broke my heart, but at the same time it felt like something was healing too? it hurt at the pain both characters go through, but i also felt fond that maybe, they were not alone.

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

hmm there are a few, i mostly want to mention my fei liu character study? it has no plot or anything, it is just an exploration of his mind and thoughts, which was an absolute joy to write and somehow so easy.

i also quite like the yyy series i started - maybe i can write more for these two because they somehow give me the feels.

11. a favorite creation created by someone else:

alright here we go folks:

first i want to mention my dearest @vishcount because newsflash!!! i am the biggest fan. of course i need to mention your wondeful, stunning, breathtaking masterpiece that is your xicheng novel (and yes it is a novel, i say so). it is still ongoing and you started it in 2019, but i need to mention it here because it truly is something that is lifechanging. i feel so blessed that i get the front seats and vip access to all the updates, to all your thoughts and ideas. you go through a lot with it and i am never not proud of you ❤️ another one i want to mention is this wei wuxian & mo xuanyu oneshot you wrote for me because i am still crying about it. i have no words. honourable mentions: your easter islanders (lan wangji and jiang cheng) and this xicheng soulmate au

another creator i want to mention is @the-cloud-whisperer and their nirvana in fire fic Heroic Woman（烈婦） , which is absolutely wonderful. i found you through your ATLA fics (which i adore) and saw you posting about nirvana in fire and this year, finally, i watched the show and was blown away. i love your other NIF fics too, but this one feels very special because i always thought li yang’s character was so incredibly fascinating. thank you for writing this 💕

for more other creations just look at my bookmarks on ao3, there is the untamed, nirvana in fire, yyy the series, hwarang, winter begonia and original sin (from 2020 and many more if you scroll further) please give everyone i mentioned love!!!!!

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate:

oh boy here we go. once again @vishcount, @the-cloud-whisperer, @intyalote, @sassyassassy, @isabellaofparma, @passionpeachy, @finny-red, @guzhuangheaven @honeyiling, @holmesandwhatson @bloody-bee-tea, @leoyunxi, @gusucloud, @ohsehuns and many many more that must slip my mind.

all of you, consider yourself tagged in this game and even if we never spoke to each other, i greatly appreciate all of you and i want to give some love. if you feel like doing this, i hope you can have fun! 💕

#phew #another one done #all my usual suspects must be tired of me dfghj #but this is so lovely and fun #thanks dear #tag game #personal #2020 #writing

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cir · 3 years

Text

Fall: September.

Peter lifts his head but doesn't bother even trying a smile. "Hey."

"Hey?" Junmyeon doesn't offer a smile either, and it's one of the traits Peter has admired about him, even if they've really only met in person a few times that he could count on one hand.

"Am I allowed to come in?"

"..."

"Do I have a choice to send you away?"

"Not really."

They both give a half snort before Junmyeon cracks the door open fully and Peter makes his way in. Even if he doesn't see it, he knows Junmyeon's watching him more carefully than he shows, simply at the request of Brian.

Peter would have his eyes all around Junmyeon's house, curious about his interior choices and furnishings -- but he just doesn't have it in him, and definitely not the leisure. He has a hundred thoughts in his head but at the same time, none that he can fully articulate, not even to himself, let alone another person.

"Sorry for barging in." He heads straight to the first chair he sees, placing his luggage by the side before leaning his body's weight against the chair. "I'll leave tomorrow night. I had the choice to just buy a ticket straight back to Paris at the airport when I landed, but they said the first ticket out wasn't direct and I really didn't want to get on a plane with two connecting stops and..."

Peter looks up at this moment, because it's not like of him to be running his mouth so much and he's expected the other to stop his rambling at some point. Instead, Junmyeon's eyes are trained on him, just letting him finish. He wonders why he's given so much patience, when they barely much know each other. It's strange, but he sees the same warmth in Junmyeon that is in Brian, and it's both welcoming and disheartening at once.

"I just need a place to sleep a couple of hours... and the hotels around here are extremely over priced. And... I don't really know the area anyway. I... I don't know. I'm not sure." He feels much unlike himself, making so many excuses.

The raw truth is that he doesn't want to be alone, at least not tonight.

Junmyeon doesn't respond right away. It makes Peter nervous for some odd reason, until Junmyeon comes over to him and makes a motion with his fingers.

"Give me your jacket and go take a shower."

Fall: October.

"May not be my place to ask this, since I know you're not much of a talker... but." He crosses his arms and tilts his head. There's pity spread all across his face, and Peter feels even worse because of it. "You doing alright? Like I said, I don't mean to intrude, but you've been making a lot of small mistakes that's very unlike you, the most detail oriented person I know at this company."

"And beyond your work... you just haven't seemed the same."

Peter grips the laptop at his side a little tighter. He doesn't know why he should have to feel this defensive about his state of being. Right now, in this moment, all he wants to do is exist, and even that seems overbearing and difficult. He felt better compared to a month ago, or at least —

He was mistaking feeling less for feeling better.

"I'm doing okay." He manages to say, adjusting his glasses. "It's just the busy season, I think." There's a bit of silence before Peter realizes he's supposed to say more. "Oh, and I got a cat. Maybe it's the cat." Peter murmurs, his voice starting to crawl into a hole of it's own. He's starting to mumble, and he's hiding his fingers behind his back, fumbling with them. Brian would've told him he was doing the thing, and even now he's still lingering in his thoughts.

"It is the cat. Definitely the cat. I didn't know cats were so much work."

"A cat." His boss says.

"A cat." Peter repeats.

His boss doesn't look convinced at all, but to Peter's thankfulness, he drops the topic of conversation. "Alright, well. Just shave every once in a while, at least when you come into the office. And some sleep. Even HR is getting worried if we're abusing you from your dark circles."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Not a warning, just a suggestion." The other hands over a folder to Peter, before adding, "...as a friend."

Normal him would've said something a bit impulsive and possibly offensive, but he's got no energy for it. Instead, he gives another thanks with a nod of his head.

Winter: February.

He paints his nails, black.

It's something he had always thought about doing, but never did because of a fear of being seen a certain way. As unprofessional. Weird. Hipster. Strange. Goth.

Gay.

Maybe he wasn't as comfortable with himself as he had thought to be. And yet, he had given Brian so much fire for being too careful about their relationship around outside peers, his fans, and his parents.

"You know I'm gay, right?" Peter asks, or more so states. He's playing around with his fingers while sitting besides Dowoon at the restaurant table.

It brings up a blink from Dowoon, who swallows something down his throat. Even if Dowoon's slightly out of his line of sight, the redness of his ears is enough for Peter to know — and it's not from the alcohol in front of them.

"Uh, yeah, I know. I.. I know."

"Okay."

A wave of silence passes, and he hears Dowoon swallowing a few more times. He laughs, and Dowoon gives him a strange look at him.

"Why are you laughing?" Dowoon asks, genuinely curious.

"Because of you." Peter answers. "And I think I'm tipsy."

"That's nice. I mean. Not being drunk, but... I mean..." Peter notes the way his ears grow even redder, and begin to wonder what's more red between him and the wine in his glass. "I like it when you laugh."

Another bit of quietness rests between them, before Dowoon looks like he wants to say something. Instead, he leans near, close enough for it to be questionable. He doesn't move any closer, and instead lets Peter decide for himself. Peter closes the remaining distance between them, pressing their lips together.

Up till now, he had thought it better that Brian remained an absence so that they remained a question. And yet, in this very moment, it no longer felt like a question, and more than an answer — and the wrong one.

Spring: April.

"Maybe the universe is telling you to move on."

"I think you're telling me to move on." Peter replies, giving his best friend a look.

"So I'm your universe now? Predictable. I always knew you were in love with me. I get it. You're into the best friends to lovers trope. Maybe we can make it happen."

"Uh huh." Peter runs the tip of his thumbs around the rim of his cup, staring at the coffee in it. It's long lost it's warmth, distasteful and lukewarm. He feels quite like it, just as in between even with two entire seasons past. "I'm taking time off. I asked for brunch because I was wondering if that... photographing across Europe trip together was still on the table."

"You mean the trip we planned together in middle school?" Youngjin raises a brow, with a playful grin.

"Merde. We planned that in middle school?"

"You were way more full of dreams when you were younger. Remember, you wanted to get married to an electric violinist and be in a traveling band with them with two kids exactly two years apart. Also with six cats or one hamster. And also wanted to become the first Spanish-Asian president of Spain or something."

"Right."

"Working in a cubicle definitely changed you. But..." Youngjin nudges at Peter's side, meeting his eyes. "...the adventurer Pillie still in there somewhere."

"Sure."

"I know because I saw bits of it again when you were dating him."

Summer: May.

“You’re leaving for work tomorrow morning?”

"Yeah, I... wasn’t really thinking when I got on the plane and accidentally used up all my vacation days.” A genuine laugh leaves Peter, as he scratches the back of his neck.

“I thought you always had like three or four weeks saved by this time of the year?” Brian is more observant of him now, if he could be any more so than before.

"Well I did..." Peter’s hand remains at his neck, now itching at the other side. Even if Peter doesn’t remember so, Brian knows him too well. It’s a habit of his when he gets embarrassed, especially when accompanied by his eyes falling downward to the ground, as they go. “A month ago.”

Brian processes what Peter’s said only afterwards, and it leaves him thinking for a while. It’s strange to imagine Peter of all people not thinking; especially with something as time and energy consuming as flying overseas. Brian tries to imagine it but for some reason can’t— yet when he gets another look at him, he knows it’s the truth. It’s in his disheveled gaze, to his messy hair, unshaven face, and wrongly buttoned shirt.

Nothing about him seems like Peter, yet his smile is the same.

“So you can’t...” stay, he wants to say, but decides on another word. He’s only just come back so it seems too selfish of him to ask of something as heavy. “...come grab breakfast with me tomorrow.” Brian wonders if his smile is enough to assume, or if that’s dangerous.

Peter looks up at him, and his eyes are doing much more of the talking than his words are. It’s the regret lining them; the rue overcasting them. “Mm, no.”

“Okay.” Brian replies.

The street lamp above them flickers a few times, and Peter’s lashes do the same as he blinks quite intentionally once, then twice. His eyes peek over to Brian another time, before letting out a subtle sigh.

“Can I... try something?”

“...depends on what it is.” Brian replies, and surprises Peter with the response. The Brian he knew wouldn't hesitate to take him up, allow for him to knock at his door and open it without thought. Peter's not used to this Brian, and he seems foreign. Not familiar.

Even Brian seems a bit unsure of his reply, lips still parted open as if he wants to correct himself — but also knowing better than to allow Peter in any deeper. It makes Peter smile again, because it’s respectable, and so different than the man he knows. But instead of letting him give another answer, Peter brings him in for an embrace, throwing his arms around his neck. He buries his head in the crook of him, closing his eyes.

The first thing Peter notices is his change in scent. It’s again, not familiar, but at the base of it still yells Brian. It’s comforting in that way, although new and exciting all at the same time. It’s only when he feels Brian’s hands settling warmly on his back that he lets himself stay there even a bit longer, as if having gotten the permission to do so.

Even in the short moment, Peter tries his best to stretch out time. Not because he wants to linger in it more, but because it seems like he’s been waiting for this bit for the past year.

"If not breakfast... can I take you out to eat a late dinner?"

"Yes." Peter answers, with such certainty and without missing a beat that it surprises Brian. "Please." Peter adds, staying in his arms for a beat too long, with the answer he's gotten over the seasons.

@kingsten

#all of peter's interactions with other people before meeting brian at the jazz festival again #i feel like i wrote much but nothing at the same time #excuse this MESS

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