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queer-here-and-in-fear · 3 months

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underneath (silver linings are found)

A03 version

tags:

Alastor & Charlie Magne, Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Lilith Magne | Morningstar, Post-Canon, Feel-good, Protective Charlie Magne, Lilith Magne is a Bitch, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lilith Magne owns Alastor's Soul, owned actually. past tense, Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), look. hes technically a bit ooc but its also 2 years post canon SUE ME, Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel)

note: uhh hope this is good!! my first hazbin fic lol!!! if you like this feel free to send me writing or art requests in the comments, or on my tumblr, @queer-here-and-in-fear!!

It had been exactly two months and three days since Alastor had last grinned, and Charlie was starting to lose it a little. She wasn’t the only one in the hotel to notice, no, Vaggie had been giving Alastor weird looks since it started, and Angel Dust had been joking about it up and down, but nobody else was concerned. It wasn’t that they didn’t care, but so much had been happening, Charlie couldn’t really blame them for not asking.

But someone had too.

It wasn’t like there was any reason for this, at least none that Charlie could figure out. Everything was better now. Sir Pentious wasn’t dead, he was ok (even if he didn’t remember them - because they could fix that, they couldn’t fix death), they had managed to push back extermination while heavens court deliberated, and Alastor wasn’t stuck in the deal with Charlies mom anymore, he was free. So everything was supposed to better.

.. But something was still wrong, because Alastor still wasn’t grinning. He was still smiling, sure, but it didn’t reach his eyes and compared to the big wide grin Charlie had grown to know over the past two years; it wasn’t much. He was still Alastor, Charlie knew it wasn’t all just faked because of the deal with her mom, but.. it was odd.

She had tried her best to ignore it, really, she had tried so hard. Alastor warned them (in what she could swear was meant to be a moment of vulnerability, holy shit her hotel was working) that he was gonna need some time to get better. That was okay by Charlie, she knew a solid half of that deal was just meaningless torture on her moms part (which was not messing with her head, thank you very much.)

It had been two months, though, and Alastor had said he felt mostly better now, and he still wasn’t grinning. Charlie wasn’t sure the last time she had seen his teeth where he wasn’t eating or baring them. It was a stupid, small thing to get caught up when everything was better and they were working to make it even more better, but she couldn’t ignore it anymore. She was going to go Nifty levels of insane if she keeped trying to ignore it.

So, after a long long hour of pacing and ringing her hands and running her fingers through her hair and ranting aloud to herself (she wasn’t sure she could thank her dad enough for the sound proof room), she slid out of her room and into the lobby. She had a good feeling Alastor was in there, and it took about two steps into the lobby and a quick look around to prove herself right.

“Oh, Charlie, my dear! Any reason why you’re up at the devils hour?” Alastor looked up from his book and asked with a small little smile, the hum of radio static steady under his voice, and Charlie felt her heart ease a bit up at the soft sight. Right.

There was another reason she hadn’t asked yet, other than her anxiety - Alastor was genuinely getting better. She could see it now as Alastor placed his book on the table and shifted to the side to give her room to sit down. He looked, and acted, genuinely better.

All his movements felt lighter now; less deliberate, more genuine. She was pretty sure Husk had said it best one night when they were talking over whisky. (“I damn knew somethin’ was wrong with the bastard when he came back. He was all tight strung and quick spoke - wasn’t like that before. I swear, I thought he had been a professional actor past seven years, he did nothing naturally! Feels more normal now, and I’m damn glad for it.”)

“Just a bit antsy,” she answered with a smile she was pretty sure held her painfully obvious anxiety. She slid into the spot Alastor had made for her and quickly pulled her ankles up to sit criss-cross, her hands running over her legs and her eyes, for the moment, glued to her lap. She knew her anxious tells were painfully obvious, but she was pretty sure trying to act normal would make her combust. After a second, her gaze drifted back up to Alastor, “what about you?”

“I’m doing just splendid darling!” He answered with an ease that soothed Charlie a bit. It was.. nicer to hear him speak now, knowing that every word was of his free will. Even if he was lying, at least he was choosing to lie. That had to count for something. “Say, Charlie, what has you oh so antsy at this witching hour?”

“I just,” she cut herself off and took a deep breath before looking back to Alastor, and explaining, “ok, so - I know a lot has changed and a lot is changing and I’m ok with that, of course I am! And if you don’t want to answer that’s completely fine, no bad blood - and no matter what you do answer, if you even choose too - I won’t be mad or anything. I just - I have a question. For you.”

Alastor blinked, giving her a blank stare for a moment as he processed the ramble. After a moment though, he gave Charlie another of his too small smiles and a clapped a hand on to her shoulder. “Well, ask away my dear! No need to leave me or yourself waiting any longer now.” He said, giving her an expectant look.

It took Charlie another five seconds of painfully staring at her lap before the words wouldn’t be held in anymore, and the whole question came tumbling out so fast Charlie was pretty sure it counted as one word- “why haven’t you been grinning at all?”

It took about another two seconds of no answer until Charlie was rambling again, the words spilling out before she could really stop them. “I mean, it’s not like you have to, of course not! I would never make you do anything you don’t want too, I’m not like my mom, I’m just.. concerned, I guess. You used to grin all the time and now you don’t and-”

Alastor cleared his throat and Charlie snapped her head up so fast she vaguely worried she was going to give herself a neck injury. “I take no offense to the question, Charlie,” he started, “and my will is not so easily swayed that I will change my behavior just because of a simple question you asked.”

“Right, right, of course,” Charlie said, hands still ringing in her lap as she practically brimmed with anxiety.

There was another uncomfortable silence before Alastor started speaking again. Just a year or two ago Charlie would’ve called herself stupid for even thinking it, but now she could recognize the furrow to his brow as nervousness. “I will answer your question. I just.. would like to give some context first. Charlie, do you know how your mother could be cruel?”

Charlie did. She couldn’t unknow it, because it all made her sick. The same women who preached about being their to impower demon kind could torture one of them, needlessly. She fucking sowed his mouth half shut instead of just making a vocal deal about it like a normal person to- to fucking what, prove a point? Alastor had been cooperating, he hadn’t done anything, and she fucking hurt him for fun while playing at being an angel-

It was only when Alastor’s gentle hand tapped against the point of her horn she realized she had horns to be tapped, and she cleared her throat with embarrassment. “I’ll take that for a yes,” Alastor started, a small bit of brimming affection in his tone, “there was.. one more incident of that I haven’t brought up yet.”

The words already set a chill to Charlies spine and her mind racing, a million god awful and painful to think about possibilities running through her head, but Alastor’s next question made her blood run cold. “Do you remember a single time I wasn’t grinning before the deal was broken?”

Charlie.. Charlie couldn’t, could she? That was why she was so concerned about his lack of teeth baring in the first place, it was so normal that the loss of it sent her mind spinning. But now that she thought to it, the dates lining up perfectly - oh. She was the last to realize, wasn’t she.

“... No. You couldn’t stop grinning, could you?” She whispered with mounting horror.

Alastor gave a small nod. “That is true.”

Charlie suddenly threw herself back on the couch, groaning with painful frustration and hiding her face in her hands. “Of course you didn’t want to grin while crying! Shit, how didn’t I realize it earlier? I- fuck, I could’ve done something, I could’ve helped you.”

Alastor blinked, surprised by the sudden outburst. Hesitantly, he reached down with a comforting hand, lightly patting her shoulder. “There there, my demon belle. It is no bad blood you didn’t get me out earlier - I’m out now, am I not? As well, it might’ve been.. for the best, that the deal stayed as it was for a while. Even if it was terribly unpleasant.”

That caught Charlies attention as she sat up again, looking over to Alastor with pure, unmarred confusion covering her face. “.. What do you mean it’s for the better the deal stayed in place? The deal nearly got you killed, like.. twice!” She said, waving her hands around with frustration.

“..I’ll concede, it is true that the deal did cause me great detriment,” Alastor said, before continuing, “however - it wasn’t all bad. I would’ve never came to the hotel if your mother didn’t force me too.” He pointed out with a small smile on his lips, “I would’ve never met Vagatha, or Angel Dust, or our dear Sir Repentious, or even-” he reached down, suddenly tapping Charlie on the nose, “you, my dear.”

Charlie laughed softly before turning back around again, guilt still brimming under her voice. “Sure, I guess, but you should have never been forced to stay. I wanted that to be a choice, y’know, and you, my co-host, were forced and I didn’t even know. It just.. it bothers me.”

“Well, even if the situation was forced, my affection wasn’t,” Alastor held up one finger to stop Charlie from contesting him, “I know it wasn’t, because for a long long time before you freed me, I had resentment building.” Charlie blinked, staring up at him with surprise.

“I wanted to get my just-deserts, my bloody vengeance in glorious fashion once my wings were unclipped - however, after so long of having only you as a symbol of your mother, I missed sight of who was at fault,” Charlie listened, vaguely recognizing the emotion in his voice as guilt. “I wanted to get vengeance upon you, even when I was more than aware you weren’t at fault.”

“However, over time, that rage faded - not for your mother, of course, but for you. After so many nights of you healing wounds and helping souls and showing me kindness, even as I loudly detested everything you stood for with a grin on my face, I realized that you weren’t the one to blame. So, really, it was for the best.”

Charlie blinked up at him, before slowing leaning over and resting her head on Alastor’s shoulder, taking in the warm and familiar silence of the hotel lobby.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

#nox text posts #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #alastor the radio demon #charlie morningstar #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel charlie #charlie magne #the radio demon

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luciusgerard · 2 years

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How to tell if someone is going to have the absolute worst Stranger Things takes:

If any of the things on this list apply to a user on any social media site (particularly Tumblr, Twitter, or TikTok) or a person IRL, chances are they're not worth engaging with because their opinions and theories regarding the show will be hot garbage.

This is just my opinion by the way, if you disagree you may continue on your merry way and continue having crappy opinions. That said, let's begin.

1. They stan this bitch.

Now, don't get me wrong. When I say this, I don't mean people who like Billy as a character because of what he adds to the show. I'm talking about people who have allowed themselves to become so obsessed that they make excuses for his abusive and racist actions. A place of understanding is not a place of justification. I'm also talking about the people who ship him with Steve (or anyone), believe he and Eddie would be friends, hate Max because she "insulted" their "baby," and the people who shit on Eddie and the Steddie ship as a whole because they view Eddie as some kind of carbon copy of Billy. You know who you are, and you suck.

2. They hate Robin or Lucas.

Neither of these characters have done anything wrong. I've never seen anyone justify their dislike of Robin for a non-ableist or non-homophobic reason (because they don't exist), and Lucas, one of two Black main characters in the show, gets criticised so harshly and so often compared to White characters who have done inarguably worse things. Y'all don't realise how damn quick you are to antagonise a Black boy in situations where he's behaving in entirely reasonable and rational manners, like when he was "mean to El" in season one when he's doing what the majority of people in his situation would do, meanwhile I hardly ever see people calling Mike out for being so needlessly rude to Max in season two. Case in point: If you hate on Robin or Lucas, your opinion is trash.

3. They're strongly against Byler and its shippers.

I honestly don't care whether you personally ship Byler or not, you can't deny that people who are 100% against even the idea of Byler are at least a little homophobic (well, technically you could, but you'd be wrong).

"Mike is straight!"

Has that been confirmed? Did Mike tell you that? Did the Duffer Brothers tell you that? No? Exactly. Besides, even if it were outright confirmed that Mike is only into girls, why is it so difficult for you to let people enjoy things that aren't causing you or anyone else any direct or indirect harm? God, please just make some friends.

"But Mike has only ever shown interest in girls!"

Tell me you have little to no media literacy skills without telling me you have little to no media literacy skills. Seriously, babe, that's not even remotely true. I can guarantee that if Will and/or Eddie were women, people like you would be all over the Byler ship and the Mike-having-a-crush-on-Eddie headcanon.

"Mike and El are in love, didn't you hear his monologue?"

See the first sentence of my last point and shut up.

4. They unironically refer to Will as "the gay one" or a variation of it.

This one is more specifically talking to the allocishets: Why is it that for three seasons Will Byers got to be referred to by his name like every other character, but season four comes out (no pun intended) and all of a sudden he's being reduced to his sexual orientation? Answer quickly.

Anyway, I'm done ranting. If you have anything to add, comment or reblog. Have a good day, people these points don't apply to.

#stranger things #stranger things fandom #stranger things opinions #byler #anti billy hargrove #anti harringrove #anti mungrove #steddie #robin buckley #lucas sinclair #steve harrington #eddie munson #anti mileven #will byers #mike wheeler #max mayfield

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zaharya · 2 years

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ADHD science ramble – a comment response

So if you know me at all, you know I have ADHD and also a neuroscience degree. Meaning sometimes I ramble a lot about the science behind ADHD and ADHD meds. Generally, people appreciate it at best, or ignore it at worst – but apparently not on reddit! So, I'm coming home – forgive me for straying, Tumblr, please give me back my belief in people's ability to understand nuance.

The comment below was in response to a post asking about ADHD medication, including concerns about stimulants and addiction, and the question of "will I quit these meds or is this a life-long thing". They also mentioned "rejection sensitive dysphoria" (which is not a medical term!) and asked for other people's insights on any of these things. I tried to give that. The original post is now suddenly deleted, and the comment was invisible even before then for whatever reason (I won't speculate whether it was censored by the mods or not, it doesn't matter.)

But since those are all pretty general topics and this was a lot of effort to write, I'm re-posting it here in the hopes someone will benefit from it – it may just read a bit odd at times because it addresses the OP of that post. So if ADHD medication, treatment approaches, stigma, or emotional dysregulation are at all relevant or interesting to you, give it a glance. There's a TL:DR at the bottom as well. If Tumblr could stop bitching at me about the formatting that'd be great. Please ignore potential oddities with the list levels.

COMMENT RESPONSE IN VERBATIM

OKAY SO, buckle in my friend because you have activated my ADHD research deep dive mode. For the record and some context as to where I got all this; I have a BSc in Psychology, and did a research masters in cognitive and clinical neuroscience. Throughout both degree programs, I've written every single paper I could choose the topic for about some aspect of ADHD. (I do not have a license for psychotherapy yet, but I am getting one.) I also just have ADHD myself. What I’m trying to say is: I know way too much about ADHD and now I must tell you about it because what else am I supposed to do with it — ANYWAY … I should probably structure this somehow so it’s less overwhelming. We’ll try this:

Medication

Strattera/Atomoxetine (ATX); how it works, why it may or may not be working for you

Stimulants; how it works, evidence regarding the risk of dependency and abuse, connections to other substance use (since you mentioned nicotine)

Long-term treatment plans; factors to consider / questions for you to evaluate for yourself

RSD — probably a rant, first; why buzzwords are counterproductive even if the experience is 100% valid

Emotional dysregulation; research again, also potentially about meds

rejection sensitivity slkjdsjfs it escalated, help

Community and peer support

Yes? Yes. Feel free to skip any parts that are too sciency, if that doesn’t interest you!

First of all, congratulations on your diagnosis! You’ve already made one of the hardest steps. But let’s get into it, shall we?

ADHD Medication

Non-stimulants / Atomoxetine (ATX)

I must say, I am quite surprised that you were prescribed ATX as your first option, given that stimulants are very firmly established as first-line treatment.

Regardless, a couple of facts about it: ATX is a selective noradrenaline (NA) reuptake inhibitor, which also affects dopamine (DA) levels, specifically in the prefrontal cortex (PFC) because— well because brain chemistry. (I’m trying very hard to keep this simple, can you tell?) Basically, the idea is to regulate DA levels through an indirect mechanism via NA. And that works pretty well, generally. ATX is effective for approximately 50-60% of people, and the effects reach moderate strength.

Now you said that you don’t really notice any effect; that can have several possible reasons:

It just doesn’t work for you; 50-60% of people show a response, sure — but the other 40-50% do not! Unfortunately it is possible that you simply are part of those 40-50% non-responders.

The exact mechanisms of that are still unclear, but there are many factors that might influence someone’s drug response, including individual differences in metabolism, genetic factors etc. --- we’re still researching that

ATX, unlike stimulants, doesn’t necessarily have immediate effects. Full therapeutic effects are generally not evaluated until at least 2-3 weeks after starting it. That also means that the effects can develop slowly, which can make them harder to notice because it’s a somewhat gradual change.

On top of that, if your doctor is even the slightest shred of competent (which I hope), they’ll probably have started at a fairly low dose, meaning that;

you might just not feel it yet, but the effect may still emerge

you might need a higher dose; if that’s the case, this increase is generally done step-wise and quite slowly, to monitor the effects (and side-effects) properly. I suggest asking your doctors about what kind of trajectory they have in mind, so you can decide whether that suits you.

You mentioned mood swings; definitely mention that to your doctor! Psychological side-effects of ATX should be closely monitored

Note that this is especially important if someone has (potentially undiagnosed) comorbid disorders. I don’t know whether that’s the case for you, but better to be aware either way.

All that said, I also take ATX and I must say that on its own its effects are barely noticeable for me. It’s only because I know that my symptoms can be worse that I even consider it effective. I am an unusual case, though, regarding med-response etc. and I take ATX in combination with Elvanse (Lisdexamfetamine; LDX).

Which I guess brings us to stimulants. You say you’re reluctant out of fear to form a dependency, if I understand correctly. Well, the research is quite interesting in that regard — but let’s cover the basics first.

Stimulants

Stimulants, i.e., various types of amphetamines (AMP) and methylphenidates (MPH), are the standard first-line treatment for ADHD. Both AMP- and MPH-class drugs essentially increase the efficiency of the PFC —same as ATX — but where ATX only directly targets NA, AMP and MPH inhibit the reuptake of DA itself as well as NA reuptake. This direct effect on DA levels is basically (very basic; oversimplified even) what makes them stimulants. It is also likely the root for your concerns about dependence risks, because DA is involved in our reward-system in the brain — i.e. the thing that tells you “i want more of this”.

So, yeah, these concerns are not unfounded, HOWEVER

It is important to remember/note that a lot of the public narrative around ADHD and ADHD medication is heavily distorted by stigma. The number of people who worry about stimulants being addictive is leagues away from the actual prevalence of stimulant abuse/dependence.

This also kinda ties into your question about whether you will stop taking meds at some point or not; the idea that treatment must be temporary roots in the stigmatisation of mental health treatment.

I’m not saying that life-long medication treatment is a delight and a joy, but I also don’t think that it is the ultimate evil it’s sometimes made out to be. –– EXAMPLE: Think of a diabetic; they will need insulin for the rest of their life, but in their case nobody would ever suggest that them taking it is somehow a bad thing.

Mental health in general is unfortunately still heavily stigmatised, and that also impacts the narrative around treatment options, including medication. And more often than not, public beliefs about psychiatric conditions are downright and blatantly wrong.

In this particular case, actual research indicates that stimulant treatment actually decreases the risk for substance abuse in ADHDers. (Generally, adequate ADHD treatment reduces risks for all sorts of unpleasant things, like comorbid disorders, social isolation, divorce, accidents — I could go on. Not the point.)

The point is that overall, from a research perspective, the risk of drug dependence due to stimulant medication is quite low. Hell, literally everyone I know who takes ADHD meds will go “shit I forgot my meds” at least every other month or so.

Of course that doesn’t mean that we can all just pop stims however we like without a care in the world. As with any other medication, monitoring effects and side-effects together with a doctor is key.

With all that said, there is good reason why stimulants are first-line treatment for ADHD: 65-80% of people show a treatment response, and for a lot of people who don’t initially experience an effect, switching to another type of stimulant will often do the trick (total response rates of ~90%). Besides the fact that they work for more people, they also generally work better than non-stimulants, meaning that the symptom improvements are stronger for stimulants. Does this mean you should just get over yourself and go for stimulants because they’re clearly superior? Of course not.

Medication response is ultimately a very individual thing; it is basically impossible to know how you’ll react to any given medication before you try it. So in the end, it really comes down to what you want. It’s your decision, based on your priorities and values.

The same goes for your question of “will I take these meds forever” — that’s up to you!

Generally speaking, ADHD doesn’t go away. It is not something you grow out of any more than you can grow a second brain to replace the one you have. And our brains have ADHD. So, symptom-wise, we will always experience ADHD to some degree at least.

Of course, there are plenty of other treatment approaches such as CBT and literal mountains of helpful strategies to learn about and use. And that’s wonderful! Still, therapy alone is generally considered less effective than meds, but it does help. The best treatment approaches are multimodal, i.e. a combination of pharmacological treatment and behavioural interventions. Aka we take meds and go to therapy. Amazing.

So let’s say you’ve taken meds for a while, you’ve gone to therapy, you’ve learnt all the strategies — you decide to quit the meds. What happens?

Well first of all, nobody can know that beforehand, so keep in mind that these are hypothetical assumptions based on scenarios that research described as likely

Anyway, you quit whatever meds that ended up working for you. Ideally, you do that slowly so you don’t have any withdrawal issues, but eventually you’re off the meds. As a result, your brain isn’t getting that neurotransmitter boost anymore that the meds created (though some research shows that some benefits might persist, yay!), meaning that cognitive impairments are stronger again.

Does this mean all your symptoms come back? Well, yes and no. On a basic brain level, impairments return at least in part, but the strategies you learnt in therapy might still help you cope with those impairments better than you used to before.

So you might be overall more functional, thanks to those strategies, yes.

But strategies will not fix your brain chemistry, and if there’s no dopamine there’s no dopamine, and suddenly you spent all day in bed. Or you’re staring at your work open in front of you feeling like there’s a thick panel of glass between you and your screen/keyboard and you just cannot make yourself type. These things won’t go away, and strategies will not always do the trick

Personally, I dread the idea of living my life entirely off meds. My main hobby is writing, which is nearly impossible without my meds — and even if I had a less challenging hobby; I want to do things in life, not waste my time trying to get myself to brush my teeth. But, again, that is a very personal decision that you ultimately have to make for yourself.

Still, here are a few things to consider that might help you evaluate your options:

Need — what are your primary needs? Which symptoms are impacting you most? (Yes I’m getting to the RSD sfksjhgj)

Want — what are things you want beyond the most important needs? Where do your priorities lie?

Benefit — what benefit are you getting from [medication X]? How much positive effect does it have on your symptoms? On your life as a whole?

Need-benefit — do the benefits fulfil your essential needs? —> if not, that’s probably not the right med for you

Want-benefit — do the benefits fulfil your wants beyond the essentials?

Cost — what costs is [medication X] causing you? Do you have side-effects, if so what are they, how bad, how frequent?

Cost-benefit — do the benefits outweigh the costs, on a somewhat objective level? (effects vs side-effects)

Cost-benefit-want — Are the benefits worth the costs, also taking your individual values, concerns and goals into account?

This last one can get quite complicated, I’ll admit, but in the end I feel like this one is what tips the scale for a lot of people.

You could have the most amazing improvements, if you suffer side effects that keep you from something that is important to you, it’s probably not worth it in the end.

Vice versa, in my case, if it means I can write, I will accept that I’ll feel incredibly nauseated on some days for like 1-3 hours. It all comes down to individual choices in the end.

-deep breath- So, that was a lot, whops. So much, that I should actually go and work, so I’ll try to keep the RSD thing short. Conveniently, the AutoMod already summed up the most important bits:

RSD is not a recognised medical term

Instead of RSD, it is better to use concepts and terminology with solidly established definitions such as emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity to talk about the experiences people tend to label RSD

This is particularly important when consulting mental health professionals; well established concepts enable them to assess your symptoms and needs better than vague, ill-defined buzzwords. I have had people tell me they were going to switch to another doctor because theirs wasn’t familiar with RSD --- that is an issue!

Buzzwords like that tend to hinder treatment progress, because they are too vague to be properly informative. Most people have a very specific conceptual definition of RSD --- namely the one that describes their own symptoms best.

That renders it basically useless as a communicative device. Doctors cannot mind-read; you are doing yourself a favour if your communication (including terminology) is as clear as possible.

Obviously nobody expects you to know specialised medical terms --- just try to avoid buzzwords; of any kind! RSD is just a very very popular one and therefore warrants repeated clarification.

Now, just cause it’s not A Thing(tm), doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. And yes, the experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD is valid and should not be dismissed!

Emotional dysregulation is actually one of the most prevalent and most impacting symptoms of ADHD, but because it isn’t part of the diagnostic criteria, a lot of people aren’t even aware of how much ADHD impacts emotions — and how much that impacts life for ADHDers. Emotional dysregulation leads to all sorts of other problems, like social isolation or comborbid mood disorders like depression or bipolar. So, clearly, it’s something should be addressed when it comes to treatment.

And would you look at that, they did! Yay!

Research shows that stimulants are effective for reducing symptoms of emotional dysregulation; as mentioned earlier, ideally you combine that with therapy.

Especially for emotional dysregulation, therapy — not just strategies, therapy — can be very beneficial, because emotions are hard. A lot of ADHDers, especially those that only get their diagnosis in adulthood, develop suboptimal coping mechanisms throughout their life that are very hard to dismantle without help. But resolving those patterns often makes an immense impact on the general quality of life.

Conclusion: Get a good therapist. It’s worth it. (Good = someone you trust and click with, you have to be comfortable.)

Now, one last thing (almost done I promise), because you said you don’t really have anyone to talk to about this:

I strongly encourage you to actively seek out ADHD communities in a format that lends itself to connecting with people on a personal level.

So, quick story time: Back in 2018, I (by complete coincidence) stumbled over a video of a TEDxTalk about ADHD on Patreon – who even browses Patreon?! Anyway, I watched it. Cried. A lot. Backed that Patreon immediately, before even looking at the actual YouTube channel it was for. The Patreon came with Discord rewards — I had never heard of Discord but there’s nothing like ADHD impulsivity, so I made a Discord account and joined that server.

Literally my whole life has changed since then. My perspective on ADHD has changed so so much simply through seeing other people having the same struggles, and yet they were still unique. And it was a wild ride. I look at some of the beliefs I used to have and am baffled at myself. But that’s not the main point, though knowledge always does help. No, the main point isn’t another strategy or lifehack. The main point are friends. True, actual friends who accept you, but also understand you.

When I joined that server, I very quickly met a lot of people. It was wonderful to suddenly be in a space where people related to my experiences that had previously always singled me out as weird or rude or incompetent or whatever. And all those people were lovely, but they’re not the friends I mean; most of them I am not in touch with anymore. I mean the select few. They are what made the biggest difference for me. I met one of my top two best friends like 2 months after joining the server, when we both became moderators. We later did community management together for over a year, until I moved on to other things — they are still Community Manager there! I flew to the other side of the planet for their wedding. We spend hours on video chat sometimes, both just working and hanging out because we like each other’s company (and it helps us focus). I can tell them anything, even if I hate what I did or didn’t do or say or think.

Those friends.

And I don’t know you, obviously, so maybe you already have that friend, in which case I’m very happy for you. But judging by your statement that you have nobody to talk to—

I’m not saying that joining an ADHD community will magically drop a best friend for you out of the sky, but it’s honestly not a bad start. Simply gaining the peer support of people who understand and relate to your experiences is worth it.

Okay, phew. Now I’m done. For your convenience;

TL;DR

non-stimulants might still take effect or you might need a different dose

stimulants are heavily stigmatised and the actual risk for substance dependence is quite low if the treatment is properly monitored by a medical professional

ADHD doesn’t go away; we will always have ADHD brains and there will always be issues that cannot be solved with strategies

It’s up to you to decide whether you want to take medication for it, and whether you want to take them long-term or not. I personally am fairly certain that I will continue to take these meds as long as I can. Even though there are downsides, the benefits are more than worth it for me.

Emotions are hard, everyone should go to therapy.

Make ADHD friends! (I personally really like Discord communities; I can recommend the HowToADHD community — that’s the server I mentioned earlier — but it’s unfortunately behind a (very low) paywall. If you don’t know that YouTube channel, I’d also recommend checking out Jess’s videos.)

But back to the point: Friends. Whichever platform you are comfortable with – try connecting with people beyond surface level conversations in public comments/threads/channels. Slide into those DMs!

And that’s all. That was way too long and I apologise. I hope any of it was helpful and understandable, I know I can get a bit sciency sometimes. If anything is unclear just ask. Good luck with your journey! It might be hard in the beginning, but it gets easier with time, I promise.

END VERBATIM

I hope anyone finds this useful, if only for validation. Shit's hard, but we'll all be fine, together.

#this was a lot of effort #it's literally over 3000 words #pls be proud #i just want a headpat and validation #also i hope it helps #adhd #science #adhd science #research #rejection sensitivity #emotional dysregulation #medication #stimulants #adhd meds #information #comment response #reddit #purely informative

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bookishtheaterlover7 · 5 months

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Albitch Ring Rant Post Part 2

Since I'm in a bad mood for whatever fucking reason, also Tumblr won't let me post Princess's ask, that's an actual cold hard truth, Imma do this instead 😁

And we already sound crazy already. So, let's drag this pretentious slut again, shall we..? Oh, and special thanks to 👸 for being bored, and once again bringing me stuff to fucking destroy this bitch with 🫶

So, remember when the timeline they made didn't make sense? Yeah, it'll continue to do so. Because her fan page posted this, four days ago.

Now, I don't really care what this bitch does, as long as she doesn't make Chris look bad, in which case... LEMME AT HER!!! But if this is July 2020... Chris ain't there with her at all. Considering he was with Lily James in London! Remember that? Seemed like forever ago 😅

So, if they're claiming something about the timeline in July 2020... They're fucking lying 🙄 again

Let's travel a little forward in time to yesterday 😁

So, we all saw Albitch rocking the dullest and most cheap ass ring you've ever seen, right? It gets worse much worse.

Justin LD(lyme diseased) posted a shit ton of pics with Albitch. And that ring honestly looks even duller and pathetic in those, more than anything.

And we all know Albitch and Chris have zero chemistry whatsoever, props goes to the top comment on the post because it's so true, and sparked my belief that the bitch is sleeping with Justin 🤭

And I honestly agree with the commenter at the top. They do look good together.

They both look equally perfectly AWFUL on the red carpet 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

WTF is with the head tilt?! It stopped being cute 3000 articles ago, Albitch! And this isn't a prom! Why do those two look like they're taking prom pics?!

And bonus, if you look at this photo of LD story, Albitch looks like a horror movie ghost who does the jumpscares

I see no difference 🤭🫣

Let's go back to the ring.

Someone posted on here a few weeks to months ago, that Chris was engaged during August...

See the problem with that timeline is that Albitch posted more pics with LD, and she was most definitely not wearing a ring then 👀

Jump back to the present.

Imma go back to her solo pics again. We've all seen them, no need to reiterate, see the thing is, for some reason, another fan page of hers got a more HD and clear photo of the ring...

How in the hell did they get that?! But not her Agency 👀

This is the part where I call two rings, and she used Photoshop again!

And can y'all stop saying that her ring is gold, it clearly fucking isn't!!! Unless y'all are colorblind that's white gold or silver!

Now, as for the two rings the one in the picture we saw is definitely not that one.

That ring still looks silver or white gold, but has a round stone with nothing surrounding it, and is dull compared to everything else she's wearing. Meanwhile the new pic, square stone, with stones on the band...

This is where I call BULLSHIT

Those two pictures look as different as Chris does in the Lisbon old-new photos! So, in conclusion, somebody photoshopped it in, and chose a completely different equally cheap ring, and made it shiny 😒

Seriously, this is getting tired, and I'm sorry but Albitch and her entourage of wannabe influencers should just quit.

No one will believe her because she's been lying from the get go. Aside from that, if she and Chris are real, it means she's been openly cheating on him since before they were ever official. And Chris flirts with women, and tells the whole world he's single, and looking for a serious partner.

Again, at this point, Dodger and the kids are the only innocents. Who need to be protected from all this. Because another bomb will drop, and we will lose more of the Fandom than we did when NYCC happened. 😞

Albitch Ring Rant Post Part 1

#booky reacts #booky rant post #chris evans #chris evans fandom #Albitch #Albaphobia #END THIS PR BULLSHIT NOW #chris and alba pr #save Dodger #I'm going to miss a bunch of you guys tomorrow #I'm still open to the possibility of a support group 😁#Booky's 100 Followers Celebration

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sailorgundam308 · 2 months

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Long ranting post about unhinged bg3 fans harassing other fans. Skip if you don’t care.

Second post I see today of other people targeted by some unhinged people in bg3 fandom with a moral superiority complex.

Dude. This is not a crusade. We’re in tumblr. Let’s get over ourselves a bit, shall we.

And, so far, aside from some backlash to problematic and shitty mods in Nexus, I’ve only seen people being harassed by frothing “fans” for things that are project onto them - not for things that were truly said and done. It’s been wild.

Some in this fandom need to learn how to read, how to contextualize and most of all, learn that the shit they wanna use to propel themselves onto their high horses is coming from inside the house. You’re projecting too much? Maybe it’s time to take a look at where that’s coming from.

Also, to these harassers: grow the fuck up. It’s a videogame and the characters are pixels. If someone doesn’t like a character, it doesn’t mean they hate the voice actor, what that character said, their gender, sexuality or whatever. It means they don’t like- guess what - the character. Period. Read what’s written, is my advice, and not more.

People have the right to care less or even straight up hate fictional characters. It doesn’t concern anyone but them. I f they wanna say so in a personal blog, it’s also fine. If it makes you MAD, there’s an unfollow and block buttons on this platform, and they’re free to be used.

The amount of utter shit I got from people straight up LYING about what I said is nuts. What I say in MY blog, about what I think, and towards no one in particular. About a videogame. From people sending me unsolicited screenshots of decapitated Karlach, to unhinged flooding calling me a cunt over and over because I have my own opinions about what kind of character looks good with Astarion. It’s my blog, my opinion, my prerogative. Astarion is not a real person and not your boyfriend - and I’m not talking to you if you think he is.

I’m starting to think there’s a mob with a flag of moral superiority loose on tumblr looking for shit they can twist and flip to fit their angry narrative. Like a fake morality locust plague.

Let us remember we know nothing about who’s behind most blogs here, and sometimes we need to take a chill pill, then use the block button.

I know I do it. A LOT. It works. I never had to badmouth people because we disagree on a videogame, nor did I ever went to someone’s inbox to harass them.

You know the same shit we do with fake news and those moral panics of the 80s and shit? That we go after the source and figure what’s all about before raging wrong? Maybe it’s time we do the same with the shit being dropped by some people on others in this fandom. All times I’ve checked, people here or on twitter were being targeted FOR PETTY BS that someone else projected onto them, their work, their words.

Now, to my plague of locusts, who apparently still keeps tabs on me: I never deleted a post here, you morons. Go look for it if you’re so serious about this. Then read it again. If you knew how to fucking read you’d understand what words mean and what they don’t. You might not like me, or my taste, or me shipping Astarion with Karlach. But it doesn’t give you the right to lie about my views and values, to actively try to “sabotage” my work or whatever shit you thought you were doing. As someone else who was harassed here has said, I bet you’re all whiny white bitches who know shit about real struggle and prejudice, who need to push people down to feel good. Be better. Cause the way you’re acting, you’re no better than “even” me.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fandom #ranting #personal #venting #online harassment

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brokeaesthetic · 2 months

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I bet yall( There's literally no yalI l have like 0 followers.)won't believe this, but I've got a new mf im obsessed with..... guess who???? it's tangerine from bullet train, bitch im literally sick🤪!!!. It's every couple of months with me I swear!!!! I'm such a lil weird ass freak in a good way of course. Like you all know that clip of Britney Broski, where she's fighting herself for being weird (here it is) https://youtu.be/o-uBYfodkDc?si=J-MZtcPSNXRDAJJO literally me. I'm such a weird ass freak in a bad way😮‍💨😕. "And then you get this picture, AND THEN I TAKE IT TO MY PENT HOUSE AND FREAK IT". Sorry, but does anyone else feel crazy guilt when they're reading these fan fictions abt characters, And then you're simping, and then you realize that this is actually a real person with a family. It literally makes me sick and wants to stop everything I'm doing. But alas, I'm a weird ass freak😈😛😉. I need to seek fuckin help. But anyway, aaron taylor johnson is so bbg( I absolutely despise that term, but I feel like it's fitting). And I wish him nothing but success on his acting journey and career path. By the way, yall please, please, please, please please check this video out on YouTube. I watched it literally yesterday, and I can't stop rewatching it. This is to all the Aaron Taylor Johnson girlys watch this video NOW. https://youtu.be/sQNJC1i4eDU?si=YxtLRlkBJe1-7JRa Also, I'm so sorry to all the writers whose notifs I've blown up, But yes, I have stalked your page. And yes, I have read every single one of your fan fictions about tangerine. Typing that out actually made me sick, and I needed to really start to re-evaluate myself. But this is really nothing new. I've gone through this like a million(3) times. Anyway, I'm here yet again to complain about the amount of fan fictions about this character.( I say this as if I haven't scoured the deep dark depth of tumblr to read every single fantic I can about him.) I'm such a flipping weirdo fr hashtag I need to do better and punch in the side of my head. By the way, I also wanted to add that like every time I make one of these post and I go to whatever tag to read more fanfics about whatever characters. I just cringe whenever I see my post, like I cringe extremely hard. But you know, I have Tumblr for a reason, and I want to vent so what better place right. And I just want to give a thank you to all the writers who have been fulfilling the deep dark hole that is my new obsession. Wishing you all nothing but luck and happiness. Thank you for reading my rant, autism diagnosis coming in soon🤗💋. Later when I come back to this post I will be so utterly humiliated I will delete it, so please enjoy reading, What might be one of the most humiliating things? I will ever put on the internet.🤳🏽👋🏽.

#tangerine x reader #tangerine #when am i gonna get my life together #bullet train #bullet train headcanons #nerodivergent #ranting for no reason #my family prolly wouldn't fw me anymore if they knew this was how i got down #hoping no ones cringing rn #my man my man my man

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bylightofdawn · 3 months

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Dear Star Wars Fans

It's Hot Take time with El.

I am sooooooo fucking sick of seeing these "Weh, Star Wars sucks now posts" or "Disney keeps putting out the bad stuff and is RUINING MY CHILDHOOD" posts.

It's legitimately like I'm being transported back to the '90s/early 2000s forums where endless fanboys were whinging over Lucus ruining Star Wars with the prequels. And BTW, they have not stopped in the past 20 years. They will continue to be pedantic and toxic and generally pessimistic about everything.

So to come to Tumblr and see that same mentality being shoveled about like three pounds of horseshit that cross my dash at least once a day. And well, I'm grumpy enough this afternoon to go off.

Hot Take Point One: Just because YOU don't like a show or a series doesn't mean your opinion is the majority. There is someone out there who loves the season you're proclaiming is the worst thing ever. That character you detest is someone's special blorbo and the ship you despise is someone's OTP. And that is okay; their tastes are entirely valid, and your experience is not universal. You are not a peerless bastion of flawless good taste and the supreme authority on Star Wars.

How do I know this? Cause you're on this hellsite and you like Star Wars.

I'm not naive enough to expect people to not bitch about and complain about things they don't like, and honestly, you're allowed to do that. I encourage you to do it. I want people to keep in the back of their minds that it's their opinion and that it's not universal. And their opinion is no better than another person's. Even someone who you think has a shitty opinion or ships something 'problematic'. If you're going to proclaim someone else has dogshit taste, I would encourage you to look into the mirror and realize someone else thinks your tastes are dogshit as well. And fuck right off with canon is the only real and valid opinion. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES DISNEY HAS CHANGED CANON? They can't make up their fucking minds; nothing is set in stone, so just enjoy what you enjoy and let other people enjoy what they want. We're all here because we supposedly love this fandom, right? I feel like people have lost sight of that point. We're supposed to love Star Wars, and it should bring us together as a fandom, not tear us apart. But that's a rant for another day.

Hot Take Point Two: Have a little appreciation and respect for the people working on these shows. Unless you are in the industry or working on said show, you probably don't understand the amount of work, effort, blood, sweat, and tears that goes into making these things. Some of these people grew up dreaming about working on a Star Wars IP. This is probably a dream come true for a lot of people working on these shows, and you're pissing all over those dreams for popularity points on the internet like this is fucking Reddit, and you're farming for upvotes. No, it's not perfect; yes, there are going to be shitty VFX and cringe as fuck dialogue.

It's not perfect, but they do their best with what they get handed. We had a saying in my old print shop, you can only shine up a turd so much. aka you take the shit you are given and you try and make it as polished and pretty as you can but at the end of the day you're working with the shit you were given. And I'm not saying these series are criticism proof or that you're not allowed to ridicule some of the terrible bad choices made.

I will go to my grave ranting about the ridiculous batshittery of fucking jetpack jousting in Mando S3.

Hot Take Point Three: I will also argue that there are good elements in every new Star Wars IP released by House of Mouse. Yes, even the one you hate down the cockles of your black heart. I challenge you to shut out the noise from Tumblr, the bandwagon hating on something, and go in trying to find something you enjoy in a season or an episode. Find, say, 5 things you enjoy or a character (even a cringy one) or a set piece you visually find interesting. Maybe a funny joke or even a special effect so ridiculously stupid you can't help but laugh. (I'm looking at you Ahsoka fighting god damn fighters with a lightsaber while on top of the Ghost zooming around at full cruising speed. It's so utterly preposterous I can't help but laugh and shake my head all at the same time.)

You don't have to post about it or speak about it to anyone don't worry your friends don't need to know you might secretly enjoyed something you all 'hated'. Though I would also challenge you to actually speak about it as well because...hear me out here, you might find NEW PEOPLE who enjoyed those same things you might make more friends in the fandom, shocking I know.

But just trying to FIND a positive thing in a show will give you a slightly more balanced relationship with how you consume it. Honestly, that's just general life advice you should try and take to heart. That's a freebie from your old Auntie El there.

It's so easy to be a negative, pedantic fan who hates what we claim to love. But by making the conscious choice to find something good in this so-called pile of shit in front of you, maybe your relationship with the IP will be a happier one. If nothing else, you'll perhaps get sparked and remember what made you love Star Wars so much in the first place.

So yeah, keep in mind your experience is not universal, even if you hate it, respect the time and effort it took to make it and try and find what sparked joy in you in the first place when interacting with the media.

Oh, one other thing? 20 years from now? You're prolly going to look back on these shows you hate and find yourself nostalgic and maybe even a little apologetic for how much you dogged on this stuff because there will be a whole new cycle of brand new IP people are creating where people are proclaiming THAT is the worst shit ever made and they don't make Star Wars content like they used to.

Cause that's just the human condition, and as someone who has been in this fandom for thirty years? I've seen that cycle replayed multiple times. We love the Prequels now, but twenty years ago, everyone hated them and thought they were ruining Star Wars. It doesn't get worse, it doesn't get better; we just grow older and learn to have a new perspective and learn to interact with the fandom in different ways.

I'm just begging you, please stop being negative, toxicly pedantic fans who just sit there tearing down everything and learn to interact with the thing you claim to love with...actual love.

#el's hot takes #this has been a rant #toxic fandom #star wars fandom toxicity #I'm preparing myself to be read to filth in my own notes #please come prove my point about fandom toxicity by telling me what a fucking idiot I am in the notes below #as a genuine fandom elder who has been interacting with this fandom for longer than some people here have been alive my goat has been got #also I am fully willing to accept my opinions are dogshit as well #and I'm completely wrong

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team-council-two · 2 years

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Hello and welcome to Team Council the Second, where four self-appointed language connoisseurs share their expertise in accurately portraying linguistic and cultural quirks of our favorite hat men in modern fanfiction.

Send us language-related asks so we can spread our knowledge, talk at length about our favorite cultural phenomena, and rant about annoying stereotypes that we wish were dead. We’ll also happily receive and review specific bits of text, translate dialogue lines accurately to the context of the scene, and otherwise help writers improve their portrayal of languages and cultures they aren’t as intimately familiar with as we are. So send us stuff!

The rules are as follows:

Be polite.

Be efficient.

Keep it language-related.

The blog is run by:

The Russian: Hi there! My name is Ray @feam-tortress, I'm a native Russian speaker and an English teacher for Russian students. Here I answer all the questions related to Heavy and his family, rant about grammar structures and phonetic inconsistencies between Russian and English, and type in Cyrillics so hard it breaks my Tumblr layouts. I go by they/them.

Tag: Heavy Language Post

The German: Hello, My name's Aschen @respect-the-eldritch. German is my mother tongue, I also live in Germany coincidentally. I'm here to answer questions about the Medic, both about german itself and also about mistakes he could make in english. Perhaps a bit how german phonetics work because that's fun. Ja mei, des wärs dann scho. (Das Pronomen: it/its)

Tag: Lost my Language License

The Australian: Howdy!! I'm Cosmas @transfortress2, and I'm Australian born and raised. True blue, I guess. English is my first language, although I've tried learning over ten others (to varying degrees of success). I'm here to answer questions related to Sniper whether this be related to jargon, the outback, or anything else you need. (Pronouns: ae/aer)

Tag: Linguistics is a Good Job Mate

The Frenchman: Bonjour bitches. I'm Alphameter @rgbalphameter. I am French and live in France, and the way I butcher English makes Ray write fucking novels. I'm here to help with translations, and suggest ways to push Spy's French obnoxiousness as far as it can go. I also can help with French culture and things like that, and I will be delighted to tell you about French cuisine in particular and be a snobbish fuck about pretty much anything ever. (pronouns : he/him, in french il/lui)

Tag: langage language

Other tags:

The Council has spoken: Our tag used for when we answer asks.

More to be added

Informative posts database:

German phonetics

More to be added

That’s it! Have fun writing!

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incorrectinfinity · 5 months

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Ok I need to rant about jjba part 8 because my brother is taking literally forever to finish it and I need to talk about my feelings

Ok. Hi. You have entered here willingly and so now I don't have to apologize. Lmao.

Ok first off Jojolion is not bad. I liked a lot of it quite a bit, actually. Josuk8 is great, I love Yasuho SO much, and Rai is literally my babygirl I love him so much I wish he was introduced sooner DAMMIT!!!!!!!

The romance between Josuk8 and Yasuho is also the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Jjba is a series that rarely ever focuses on romance (well unless you look at it with the perspective of These Bitches Gay but I digress) and that is genuinely one of my favorite parts of the series, the only downside being that a lot of jojos are paired up eventually, and usually to a woman who is barely a character which is really unfortunate. But Josuk8 and Yasuho's relationship is literally my favorite thing about Jojolion.

They are so fucking cute and wholesome and avoid so many pitfalls that usually come with romances. For example when Toru is introduced as Yasuho's ex she clearly talks to Josuk8 about it and how he doesn't have to worry. Josuk8 and Yasuho are never torn apart by Toru because they COMMUNICATE, even if Josuk8 does still act out of jealousy a few times.

The thing that bothers me about this is how their relationship is resolved, mainly due to the worst thing about the part: pacing.

Josuk8 and Yasuho never actually become a fully certified couple by the end of their part. Idk what part 9 may throw in but I personally think this is REALLY disappointing, even if it was just a minor piece of dialog in the lasg chapter or something really I wish their relationship was fully solidified. (Maybe I missed something, I dunno)

Another pacing issue comes with my aforementioned beloved lil shit, Rai.

I love Rai. He literally shows up and serves cunt for like 40 chapters and then he dies an icon and legend for all to aspire to. But the thing about him is that he shows up for 40 chapters in a 110 chapter part. Rai is supposed to be the final member of the Jojolion cast, but he shows up so late that he feels like such a wasted opportunity. Also his death.... very unfortunate. The deaths in part 9 never resonated with me aside from Johnny (because holy fuck) and Jobin (because damn I did not expect him to die). Unfortunately Rai's death is no different. Jojo deaths after part 1 are always fast and unexpected and moved on from quickly because they have to be, but they still get their time to resonate with the audience. Rai's death to me wasn't like that, it felt glossed over. I got the same feeling with Kei too, which just really made me sad. I loved those two and they felt like they were done so dirty because of how fast the plot moves in the last few chapters compared to almost everything else in the part which is so weird.

And aside from the pacing... sigh.

Joshu fucking sucks.

That's all I'm gonna say about him. Well actually I just wanna say that literally the only arc I have ever skipped ever in the entirety of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure was one where the focus was on Joshu and only Joshu. It was also an arc very similar to one done in part 7 and it was done INFINITELY better there because it's part 7.

Anyways I have done so much complaining and I want to do more (like how a lot of the Higashikata family felt wasted, or how Kei deserved more time in the spotlight, or how the Fruit and existence of stone humans confuses the fuck out of me, or how Toru was barely even a character, or-) but I really want to talk about the things I fucking adore about this part. No strings attached, just things I fully loved.

Firstly, the Fun Fun Fun arc is one of my favorite arcs in all of jjba.

It's a fucking INSANE introduction to the part and has a gag so fucking amazing I literally drew a shitpost inspired by it which has never actually been posted to tumblr so uhhh. Enjoy.

Wonderful arc, absolutely horrific and just utterly perfect. I can't believe it took so long for jojo's to take inspiration from Saw.

That's not the only arc I love either! The one where Josuk8 is hunted by people who can only go in straight lines?!?!?!?!?!? WHERE HE LOSES?!?!?!!?!?!? BECAUSE THE STAND USER FORCES HIM TO EITHER GIVE IN OR KILL A FUCKING BABY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AND THEN YASUHO SAVED HIS ASS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING PEAK ASS SHIT RIGHT THERE.

And the arc with the ski lift!! Rai you little freak of nature I love you SO MUCH.

HIS INTRODUCTION IS FUCKING PERFECT HE LITERALLY JUST SAYS THIS

AND THEN HE'S FUCKING RIGHT

PEAK CHARACTER. LOVE THIS MAN.

AND THE BEETLES AND THE CAR IN THE TREE (???) AND THE HATO ARC AND THE JOSEPH JUMPSCARE AND LOVE LOVE DELUXE JUST AUAYSHSNZJZK

This part has so much amazing stuff in it I swear!! It's so good!!!!!! And so weird!!!!!!!! And then it just kinda. Joshu.

This part is so upsetting to me because I love it so much, the fact that it is such a mixed bag makes me sad

But it is what it is, and we don't know wher part 9 may lead. Maybe Josuk8 will be like his alternate self and stay in Morioh, or maybe he'll come visit his (half) cousins in Hawaii... who knows.

I have a love/hate relationship with part 8 and I am still really conflicted about it. I do want to read it again though and give it a second chance, skipping the arcs that really dragged it down in the process. Maybe that could improve my future experiences idk.

Anyways, in conclusion: Yoshikage Kira is a bitch in every fucking timeline he literally drove a man insane for no reason what the fuck is wrong with him???????????

ALSO THE MONA LISA JUMPSCARE??

(Apologies for calling Josuke "Josuk8" the whole time it's just so I could avoid confusing myself lmao)

#🎀.txt #jjba rambles

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king-shango-the-great · 2 days

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@vladtepes1111 You seem to have an axe to grind for me, which is fine, as I can take it as much as I can dish it out.

But it's weird that you started this in public, but wanna try to move it to private in my DM's.

So here's your DM in full, so we can continue this in full view of the Village. I have nothing to hide here, nor am I anybody's victim.

"You wrote that soliloquy of crap when all it comes down to is a question of class. Clearly you wont see the problem with your attitudes nor actions."

Sir, I am in constant reflection on my ways & actions EVERYDAY. I don't need you or anyone else to do it for me.

I'd ask you to define how "class" comes into this, but we both know you won't answer. You wish to quote African wisdom, well here's my turn: "The Eye Sees All, But Itself".

Show me the example that you're expecting me to follow. What are you doing that's different? Are you giving people (Black or otherwise) jobs? Because I definitely am. Where are the fruits of YOUR labors?

Because it just sounds like you're mad that I don't hire every jailbird off D-Block, or every person that comes in from the actual block.

But guess what? You're not hiring them either. The difference is, I COULD hire them if I chose to, because I'm in a position to do so. What are you in a position to do?

Please answer this question. And I'm gonna keep asking it till you do. Because you started out saying that you would hire these "geniuses" (your words), but then you keep buck dancing around this question.

Here's some more African wisdom for you: "If a man tries to sell you a hat, you must look at the hat he's wearing".

How would you hire the woman I mentioned, Sir? How would you even pay her? What would you have her doing? This is what I'm focusing on, because this is what YOU said.

"Having a degree doesnt place you above anyone nor does working at some firm because in the end you are still working for white people the same white people who enslaved your great grandparents and almost every other black person you encounter every day the same white people who would happily place you and yours back in physical chains for any reason at all."

LOL, & he accuses me of being "unintelligible", while providing this long, unpunctuated, run-on sentence which was nothing but a rant. 🙄🤣

Seriously, you sound like this Bro:

youtube

First, no one said me having a degree makes me better than anyone else. That is the furthest thought from my mind. I only mentioned having a degree (IN ENGLISH), because you tried to claim I lacked communication skills. You tried to shoot for a low blow that you clearly couldn't deliver on. Especially when YOUR communication (which includes comprehension) skills are ASS 💩. But whenever Negropeans say that, it just let's me know that they are feeling inferior, & that they don't value education.

I fully recognize that not everyone needs a degree, & that today's degrees are largely useless. However, I'm NEVER gonna knock anyone who has one, because it takes ALOT of mental discipline & veracity to obtain one. I respect them for that alone.

"You need to come down off your high horse and understand youre not better than the people you clearly have so much disdain for. Because right now you sound like a nigga who married a white girl."

LMAO 🤣

So now I like white bitches 🤦🏿‍♂️

See, this is why I'm leaving Amerikkka. It's not just cuz of Crackas (tho that is the main reason). It's also cuz of Negropeans like you.

Marcus Garvey told us that we cannot be part of his mission, if we were married to anyone who was not Black.

I've been saying I'm going to Africa since I first came onto Tumblr. How I'm gonna get a white bitch, if I'm going to Africa?

At least try to make some sense, Sir.

But speaking of Garvey....

"But your choice of a hero explains a lot. Garvey who never even visited Africa had deluded himself with visions of grandeur in which he would ship all black people back to Africa and then rule the entire continent himself. >>He was shipping people to a place he had never even been himself. <<"

Ahhh, so you're mad that I'm going to Africa, is that it? Because you just got done in your impression of Oswald from Living Color, talking about how Crackas is trying to put us back in chains.

So which is it? This is the question I keep asking EVERYBODY, & nobody seems to have an answer.

But your vilification of Garvey is typical of even the Negropean Coons of back in his day. First, Garvey NEVER planned to "ship ALL Black people back to Africa".

In fact, he said the precise opposite:

This just shows that you know NOTHING about Garvey. Just like most other Negropeans don't. And whatever it is you THINK you know, clearly came from white people.

Also, you are correct, in that Garvey himself never stepped foot on the soil of our Great Mother. I can go into the reasons why, but it's irrelevant right now.

The purpose of standing on the shoulders of our Ancestors, is so that we can see farther, & accomplish more than they ever could.

African Spirituality teaches us about Reincarnation. We come back to complete the tasks that we were charged with.

Unrelated, I just came back from my 5th trip to Africa. So there's that.

At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if Garvey set foot on Africa (in his lifetime). What matters more is that he inspired so many of us to go. We in the West go in HIS name.

Also:

Have you been to Africa, Sir? 🤔

"sir you are not any better than the people you think you are. There is an ancient African proverb that says wisdom can be more easily found among the maids at the grindstones than all the palaces of kings. You may be a man for some people but certainly not a man of the people. You call yourself a king sir? A true king understands that the people arent in his service rather he is and will be a servant of the people until his dying day."

Thank you for repeating exactly what I said to you already. 🤷🏿‍♂️

Nobody around here thinks they are better than anyone else, Sir. That's not even an achievable measurement. We're all gonna be better at some things than other people are. That's always a given.

But (& I don't usually say this), your whole diatribe comes off as jealousy to me. It seems like you're mad at yourself for not being able to provide your people with anything, even as you rant here about being "a man of the people".

Last I checked, a King provides his people with resources, both tangible & intangible.

What resources are you providing our people, Sir? 🤔

#Shango's Thoughts #Youtube

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kiwi-smug-silvalina · 3 months

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Ok rant time cause i feel like it

Over the course of like, 1.5 years of livin in this dorm, and knowing mates from other dorms, I have noticed the three types of dormmate relationships:

The friendship! Yippee!!!

This gets struck up really nice with people who totally get each other and like, share classes properly. They gotta live in the same dorm apartment though. I might be friends with classmates from other dorms, cause we live at least an hour drive away from our home, but like its different from dormmate friendships. Best example is: My friends and classmates Lei and Lea (ill just call em that, not their real names) who struck up a nice friendship and totally vibe with each other, sharing stuff like Lea's fucking overstocked food and Leo's kitchen gadgets, bowls, cutlery and what else ngl. Like I wish i lived in their dorm wtf but also not cause then we gotta come to the second type...

The most toxic waste of space you will ever see-relationship

Eyo you ever have that one person who is so cruel, and mean, and just horrible? Yeah those can live in dorms with ya. And Lea and Lei happen to live with a bitch like that too (their dorm apartment houses 9-11 people on average btw. They all share a kitchen, a bathroom and a single washing machine. This is relevant.) So like Lei and Lea both share a dorm with Eve, and Eve omfg, an absolute horrible person. She doesnt clean up after herself, puts up dormrules like no tomorrow and fucking puts herself in the victim role constantly. Has come to a point where Lea has fucking, told the school and theyre currently working on a solution for it cause the school is being fucking stupid. Like damn Eve basically bullies and kinda psycho terrors Lea. The girls room is right next to the kitchen and the walls are thin af, and Eve is super incredibly loud on purpose. Always blames the others for shit she did and whatelse. Lea doesnt even like gettin outta her room man. Anyway, this was kinda a rant... Though now we come to the last type of relationship in a dorm. The one that i got with my own dormmates.

Ghost sightings on main-relations

I am what you call, "social anxiety af" which is funny for someone training to be a therapist. While everyone else sees each other on reg in their dorms, I spook around my three-person apartment dorm like a ghost. And ngl so do the other two. I can count on one hand the times ive seen my dormmate Ca this months and i have not seen Mal a single time this past month, but I can hear them scuttling like lil bugs. And who am I to blame when I did the same thing with my old two roomies Sar and Ann lmao. But genuinely, we're at a point where weve got an unanomous decision to let each other have the kitchen alone and only go there if its rlly important or if no one is in it. Btw Sar if you see this, I know you use tumblr ive seen your mcr shirt too. I liked ya as a dormmate, our sleep deprived 2am conversation gave me a will to go on when I felt fucked over by school. Youre a real one. I hope youre becomin a really cool speech therapist. And i hope the school resend your diploma lmao

#smug chatter #dorm life #it just be like that #sometimes i wish i was able to actually have a relationship with my dormmates but we're gonna be livin for another 1.5 years together #most of which is prolly gonna be spent with me in work placements and working while both of them are home #and both of em at school while i am at home #i have made my peace ghostin around #also fuck Eve i hope she falls down several flights of stairs

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weaselbeaselpants · 4 months

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I hate* my hair

okay pardon me if this incoming rant which is very much a soft traumadump sounds like that part of My Immortal where Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way whines about being too hot to handle and how it's sooo hard being hot and getting all the smexoi bi guys.

I know I'm definitely on the ace spectrum. I don't want a relationship. I don't want to ever have sex with another person. I have a sexuality all my own in my art that's not for anyone else but me and I don't know or care about what that means. All I know is that absolutely am repulsed by people hitting on me or saying I'm attractive. Yeah, even if you're also on the ace spectrum. I know I should be flattered but I'm not. I know a lot of people genuinely aren't creepy or are even saying they want me, but still. I'm creeped out by it. And I've been creeped out for a long time.

I'm introverted and kind of visibly autistic all my life, I mean if autism was visible. I also have blonde, naturally curly hair that's a bitch to manage and I don't know how to properly clean. And I have blue eyes. I look like a "perfect fairytale princess", according to people who see me. One of my family members even said I look like an ideal 'aryan' which is totally not distressing to hear especially when you're starting to realize in 2012-2013 how many real life neon@azis really are online and won't stop and see blonde women as needing to be saved.

People have been touching my hair without my permission for years. I legit found out about black people getting their hair 'petted' because years ago on tumblr, when I mentioned that happens with me, someone asked if I was black.

People have made non-serious but still creepy observations about my whiteness for years. Can we please go back to the blonde jokes and fear of white women invading Starbucks for PSLs. I have my limit with those comments too but I will take them all day over people thinking myself and women like me are any sort of ideal. You're sick. You're gross. Don't touch me.

I don't do my hair. No really I don't. I look like a less confident less orangey Miss Frizzle. No, I'm not trying to be black as a white girl; I really have this eternal Shirley Temple mop on my head. Every time someone says I should love my hair or comments how pretty and #striking it is, I wanna cut it all off.

It's for this reason that I don't show pictures of myself and especially not my hair online. I want to be recognized for my art and my writing. For my me-isms. Not for how I look. I legit wish I could be seen as my sona sometimes.

When I do take care of my hair, I want to do it for my own sake. I want to do it for my own happiness. I don't want to hate my hair. But I do, because you love it.

#vent #rant #aromantic #acephobia #asexual #white woman tears

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lore-olympus-saga · 2 years

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Some thoughts on Lore Olympus (#1)

I had those wondering thoughts after I saw the tumblr of @nymphsupremacy and how they talked about Zeus’s characters. To be fair, it was refreshing to see someone who liked Minthe and Zeus because I also found them interesting (and their art is also really great, but that’s another subject)

When you go into the tag of LO you can very easily fall on people who bashed those characters and it tends to put me off looking thought the tag because I really love those characters, especially Minthe. (even if her actions aren’t good, I admit, but she was a complex character and there was so much more to her than just being Persephone’s rival)

Anyway this is not today’s debate. Back to Zeus. SO, I’m not an anti Lore Olympus but I do like to nitpick details that bugs me in a comic/story/show so here I am. (after all I did a side-blog for LO so why not do some ranting post amongst other things)

As of right now, I wanted to talk about how Zeus' character in the webtoon is being bashed quite harshly especially concerning his relationship with Hera.

We’re not going to be hypocrites, cheating is bad but Rachel Smythe didn’t paint Hera as guiltess from what I’ve read and I’m slightly sad she didn’t explicitly make their relationship more complex.

In the earlier chapters, Hades and Hera shared a kiss when Hera was tending Hades’s wounds when he was freed of Kronos. After they won against the Titan, Hera showed again more trust or at least, went to Hades for comfort.

(Also, Hades says at this point that Zeus wasn’t traumatized like the rest of them and that is something else I thought was of bad taste for his character. Trauma doesn’t have to be physical to have impact, and it would have been interesting to see how Zeus dealt with the war and the responsibility of being one to lead them against Kronos (that, that doesn’t things, bad shit, to a person)

My question is (after going off on a tangent, sorry about that) then as follows. Did Hera ever loved Zeus? It is obvious she had attraction for both brothers, she even cheated on Zeus with Hades so why did she accept to marry Zeus?

Let’s see it this way: What if Zeus was aware that Hera preferred or had an attraction for his brother. What if it never left her, this yearning for another, and Zeus could see that she’ll never truly love him. In a very poor life choice, this makes him turn towards cheating. Worsening his relationship with his wife. As someone who loves complicated characters it never sits well for me when there's these little bits of character development spread around but are then forgotten by the majority (maybe that’s just me! But I see a lot of people bitching on Zeus and I’m like “Meh, he’s a cheater but Hera isn’t that great either when you think about it.”) It would have been a better depiction of a toxic relationship where both are hurting each other, making their own mistakes and not being able to find a middle ground. I mean, imagine an episode in couple-therapy talking about they’re issues, it would have been more interesting for both their characters.

Hera could have chosen to follow Hades. Or could have refused to be the Queen of Olympus as Zeus' wife. In Hades words “Zeus offered her to be the Queen of the Gods. And who could refuse that” (I think that’s what he said, I… There’s a lot of chapters and I didn’t check it word for word, mea culpa) Sure it wouldn’t fit with the whole Greek mythology narrative and I’m not there to tell RS that she should have written it any other way. I’m slightly more put out by the bias there is against some characters.

Oh my gosh this was very long, sorry about that, I tried my best to make it short but I hope you find these thoughts interesting anyway or worth reading, thanks for taking time for reading and have a nice day. :)

#lo critical #not anti #not every criticism is an attack #Lore Olympus #lo zeus #lo hera #lo hades #greek mythology #if you don't like my point of view let's just agree to disagree #no need for hate here

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orionsangel86 · 1 year

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I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?

Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER

I am so done with them all.

I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.

I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.

You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.

Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.

Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.

For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.

I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.

Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.

I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.

This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.

What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.

I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.

Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.

#anti harry potter #boycott hogwarts legacy #trans rights #personal #sometimes i need to rant #and today was one of those days

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