a different type of high (spencer reid/reader) part ten
Title: A Different Type of High (part ten)
Request: no
Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader
Category: angst
Content Warning: kidnapping, needles, being drugged (unknown drug), hallucinations (as a side effect of the drug), other side effects, mentions of guns/other weapons, being tied down, struggles with sobriety/addiction, hospital stays, swearing (if I missed something that needs to be tagged, please message me and let me know!)
Word Count: 2,605
Summary: after being missing for several days, reader is saved by spencer and the BAU team. spencer begins to help reader recover through all their new struggles
A/N: this part is very heavy! please take the content warnings SERIOUSLY. the next part won’t be as dark and heavy. this part will be a lot like the episodes where spencer was kidnapped. it won’t be word for word the same, but there will be a lot of similarities. i left most of the torture out and as vague as possible bc im not a big fan of writing that. the drug that is being used is unknown, but for the most part i imagine it being pcp… thank you all for the love and support on this series! It really means a lot to me! check out my masterlist!
last part series masterlist next part
THIS PART DOES CONTAIN TRIGGERING THINGS! PLEASE GO BACK AND READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS BEFORE CONTINUING! THE NEXT PART WILL NOT BE AS HEAVY!
{***}{***}{***}
It was hard to say just how long I had been gone. I knew I was in an abandoned warehouse. A musty smell stuck out the most, taking over my sense of smell. And my sense of time was skewed by the black tarps tapped over the windows. I could no longer tell if it was night or day.
The two men who took me weren’t here. They had gone, left some time ago. It should be a relief, right? That they were gone and I was alone… Maybe in the time they were gone, Spencer and the team would come and save me.
But for some reason there was an uncomfortable ball growing in my stomach. A cloud and a looming sense of uncertainty grew over me. I couldn’t say what was going to happen next, but I was scared.
My only hope right now was that Spencer and his team would find me. A different part of me, however, was telling me that he wasn’t looking for me. I ignored that part of me.
The two men returned. They only caused the doom feeling to grow. The silence and tension in the room was so tight you could cut through it like it was food. I wish I’d known their names. They won’t give them to me, for obvious reasons. I don’t think it’d make my situation much better honestly, if I had their real, or fake, names.
They walked past me and went towards a table set up on the other side of the room. One of the men carried a box, and my body shivered at the thought of what might be in it. They stood close together as they dug through the box. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could tell that it wasn’t good.
One guy turned to face me while they spoke, and I could see the dark look on his face. I didn’t like the way he looked at me. The sick feeling in my stomach only grew. If my stomach wasn’t empty, it would be empty now.
“I’m sure they’d like it… I’ve seen them popping pills before.”
I swallowed roughly, staring at them from where I sat. My throat closed up when I wanted to argue back that I haven’t done that in a very long time. But it’d end up being useless even if I tried. My words betrayed me and all that came out was a whimper. That caused the two men to look over at me with annoyance on their faces.
They were standing off to the side for a while before one of them stepped closer to me. I didn’t look up at his face. No, I was too preoccupied looking at his hands and what he held.
A small syringe was in his grasp. My body froze up as I realized what was about to happen. The terror took over me as he lifted it.
“What is that… what…” I asked as I looked down at the needle in the man’s arm. I tried flinching away from him, but it was so hard when I was tied to a chair. “Please… Please don’t. Don’t…” I whimpered as the needle pierced my skin. I cried as my body reacted to the sudden irritation on and in my skin.
My head fell back as a breath of air escaped my lungs. My body felt… loose. My mind was empty. All my worries melted away, and I suddenly didn’t care where I was, or what it was I was given. I felt… good. And that was all I cared about.
Some more time passed, but it was hard to say how much time. Whatever they gave me had kicked in, and the effects had started. If my body felt loose before, it felt like I was floating now. Like I was a weightless balloon a child had released into the sky.
That was when the hallucinations started and I saw Spencer standing beside the two men who did this to me. He wore a worried expression on his face, but his eyes were blank. I was so happy to see him that I didn’t care whether or not he was actually there.
“Spencer… It’s so good to see you,” my words slurred as my head fell forward. In fact, my whole body fell forward, and if I wasn’t restrained to a chair, I would’ve fallen from the chair.
“You’re safe…” Spencer whispered as he knelt on the ground in front of me. I smiled and nodded.
“Who’s Spencer?”
“My… My best friend…” I smiled softly as I thought about him. “He’s standing behind you… He works for the FBI,” I swallowed roughly as my head fell forward. I looked away from Spencer and at the man who was talking.
“Shit the boyfriend works for the FBI,” one of them whispered to the other. I closed my eyes and threw my head back as I imagined Spencer behind me. He looked down at me with a soft and loving smile.
“Yeah,” I sighed deeply before nodding. I lifted my head back up and looked at the men. “He’s gonna find me… And then he’s gonna find you.” I could feel a lazy smile grow on my lips as I stared at the men. My limbs and head felt… heavy. It was only a matter of time before whatever they put in me knocked me out for who knows how long.
“Seriously doubt that,” one of the men said. I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head. “You’re not the first druggie we’ve taken. And you most certainly won’t be the last,” he added.
“You might be good… But they’re better…” I spoke softly as my eyes slowly started to close. “Then you’ll be in jail for the rest of your lives.” And that was the last thing I said. In fact, that was the last thing I remembered, period.
Because the next thing I knew, I was sitting in a field though. Tall wheat stalks swaying beside me, the sun warming up my skin, and a soft breeze blowing through my hair. It made me feel… Happy and safe.
But a voice in the back of my head told me I was not in fact in a field. And I was actually sitting in an abandoned building. Nothing about that should make me feel happy or safe. I was in danger… But my brain couldn’t comprehend the danger because of whatever drug I was given.
My back was pressed against the wall behind me. My legs were extended out in front of me, and my arms were limp beside me. A rope was tied around my torso, keeping me to whatever it was I was sitting against. A syringe sat beside me and the contents that were once in it… were racing in my blood. It felt really good.
“Hey, hey,” a familiar voice spoke up from next to me. I blinked and smiled as I looked towards where the voice came from. Spencer was looking down at me. The worry and concern on his face was no bother to me. In fact, I only saw it for a brief moment before I ignored it.
“Spencer,” I sighed and smiled at him before dropping my head to my shoulder, “Isn’t it nice outside,” I rolled my head and looked up at the sky. “I’m so happy you’re here,” I whispered as I tried to lift a hand to touch his face. My arms felt so heavy though. It felt near impossible to even try to lift them.
“Do you know where you are?” he asked, dropping to his knees beside me. I furrowed my eyebrows before blinking. Suddenly I was no longer in a wheat field but in a cold hard reality. Spencer pulled a knife from his pocket before cutting the rope off me.
“N-no… No, I don’t,” I whispered as I looked around the room I was in. Several of our friends, and Spencer’s co-workers, were standing in front of me, and I was very anxious. But that could be because of whatever I was given. “Can… Can they leave? Can you tell… Can you please…” I sniffled as I started becoming very aware of my surroundings and my current situation. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and my body started twitching lightly.
“Guys...” Spencer looked over his shoulder at his friends, silently asking them to leave. They all holstered their weapons before leaving Spencer and I. I could feel tears racing down my cheeks but I couldn’t do anything about it. I glanced at the ground and stared at the syringe and empty vile beside me.
“I don’t know what that is. I don’t…” I started blabbing but ultimately stopped when words just wouldn’t work. “I didn’t… I didn’t want it… I prom…. I promise.”
“Hey, hey this isn’t your fault.” Spencer looked at me as he cupped both my cheeks with his hands. I stared at him for a moment before a weird hyperactivity took over in my eyes. “It’s okay,” he whispered as he wiped the tears from my eyes.
“I don’t… I don’t know where I am,” I whispered and closed my eyes. I fell forward into Spencer’s arms. He cradled the back of my head and allowed me to cry into his shoulder.
“We’re gonna take you home, okay? We’re gonna take you to the hospital, and you’re gonna be safe,” he kept talking softly, trying to calm me down. But it was so hard to actually calm down when I didn’t know what was happening to me. “I’m gonna pick you up, okay?”
I swallowed roughly and nodded. My arms, though they were heavy, wrapped around his neck. Spencer wrapped his arms around my body, holding me in a traditional bridal fashion.
I felt safe again once I was in Spencer’s arms. I could tell that my safety was Spencer’s main concern. Which was understandable… I wasn’t sure how long I was gone for��� So if I was gone for a long time, he’d be more than worried. So that’d explain why I felt safe.
Spencer didn’t leave my side the second I was with EMTs and in an ambulance. His hand held mine, to ensure I felt safe, the whole trip to the hospital. I hated the eerie silence that fell over us. I wanted our usual banter and comfortable silence instead. But… the eerie silence is what he had. It was what we needed though.
I’ve never been in a situation like this before. But Spencer? I’m sure he’s been in them many times. He works for the FBI, solving murder cases, for a living. He’s probably ridden in an ambulance more than once, whether it was for him or for a friend or for an unsuspecting victim.
{***}{***}{***}
I couldn’t say how long I would stay awake when I was awake. And I couldn’t count how much I was in and out of consciousness. All I knew was I was in a hospital, and I was safe, and I didn’t have to worry.
Spencer was sitting on the chair beside the bed. I knew he hadn’t slept one bit. Part of me wondered if he slept at all since I first went missing, or since I’ve been back. But the exhausted look on his face told me everything I needed to know.
His eyes were on me as I pretended to be asleep. I only knew his eyes were on me because I could feel it. Then again he hasn’t left my side since he first found me… how ever many days ago that was.
I gave up my charade of faking rest and just looked at him. And I was right, his eyes were on me. I wondered if he thought I was going to disappear again, vanish from his sight for who knows how long. I wish there was a way I could tell him I wouldn’t. But at this point it was hard to say whether or not that was the truth.
“Go back to sleep. You need rest,” Spencer whispered once he noticed I was actually awake. I stared at him and shook my head. It felt impossible to get comfortable in the bed. Although, it probably wasn’t just the bed. It was probably a number of factors.
“I can’t,” my voice was soft, quiet. Tremors worked through my muscles, making my body shake. Even if I tried to still my body, it only failed and made my body shake more.
Spencer stood up and, with two large steps, appeared by my side. His hand brushed over my head before falling to hold my own hand.
“You’re okay now. You’re safe,” he whispered as he looked down at me. I swallowed roughly and nodded.
“That still doesn’t stop the images…” I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked up at him. “Can you sit with me?” my voice wavered as I spoke. The worried crease in Spencer’s eyebrow melted away as he looked at me.
“I can do that,” he replied, nodding his head before sitting beside me. I shifted over so he could have some space. His body was tense as he sat beside me. And I hated that.
“How long was I gone for?” I whispered as Spencer wrapped an arm around me. He looked down at me, the exhaustion on his face worrying me. “Please don’t lie either.” I quickly added when I realized he was probably formulating a lie. Though, I don’t know if a lie would make it better or worse.
“Three days,” he whispered, looking down at me. I swallowed roughly before grabbing his hand. I didn’t like how small my hand looked with his and with all of the IVs and shit. In fact, I hated it. I hated it so much. I hated everything about my life right now. I hated everything except for Spencer.
“How’d you… How’d you know how to find me?”
“Well… We went to my apartment and saw the mess… I remembered you said errands. One thing led to another… Laundromat… Groceries… It took a day before we found the... men who took you,” Spencer explained. My body tensed as I thought about it, even though my memories were a little… foggy, I knew what happened.
“What did I do to deserve this though?” my voice was low and so shaky I felt like I imagined myself saying it. But it was the way Spencer looked down at me with a somber look in his eyes that told me that I did indeed say it.
“You didn’t deserve this. We’re working on tracking the men who did this to you. And when we do find them, they’ll be going to jail for a very long time,” Spencer whispered as he brushed his hand over my hair. I swallowed hard and nodded my head lightly.
“I just… I just don’t understand.” I looked up at him, feeling tears fall to me cheeks. Spencer looked back at me, his hands holding mine like his life depended on it. “Please don’t leave… Just… Just stay here.”
“I won’t. You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll stay as long as you need me too.” He lifted a hand and wiped my cheeks. “Can you try to get some rest? Your body needs it.”
“I can… I can try but I don’t think I’ll sleep.” I shrugged before pulling the blanket tighter around my body. Spencer stayed beside me, his arms around my body like he was a shield.
if you want to be a part the series taglist or have any comments/questions about this part, let me know here
series taglist: @itsametaphorbriansblog , @bxtchboy69 , @sammypotato67 , @seninjakitey , @thatsonezesty13 , @thebluetint , @honestlystop , @herecomesthewriterwitch , @mediocrity-atitsfinest , @honeyboysteezy , @aluna190 , @mggsprettygirl , @vampiracontessa , @cielo1984 , @anotherlokismind , @muffin-cup @misshale21 @ash19871962 @spenciegoob
tags that didn’t work: @takeyourleap-of-faith , @shameleswhorehourstm , @mediocrehamiltrash
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Zero Escape rambling/opinions under the cut
I'm not really super involved in the ZE fandom these days, but is sigma/luna generally seen as controversial...? It's hard fpr me to gauge ppl's opinions in the fandom idk... I never played ZTD so i really kinda percieved them to be a potential romance (w the "i love klim" password, luna ending where she holds Sigma & it's revealed he gave her the necklace, also sigma's weird "flirting" w her which i personally wasn't always a fan of but that's another topic).... idk it never read as familial to me so even tho i know canonically ztd sigma says "luna's like a daughter to me" i just.... dont really buy that or put that into account at all when I draw them, I kinda just ignore that....
like i guess it can be imagined as me drawing from a timeline where sigma doesn't develop a familial relationship with luna? I mostly draw them w luna having romantic feelings for him, and sigma having a mix of lingering sentimental feelings for diana/romance in general + soft affection for luna... idk i know i just said i ship them but even then i kinda draw them w sigma trying to keep things platonic between them given the situation, but he does also maybe have some sort of underlying romantic feelings for her. Idk that's just my take on them, kinda not very articulate or clear rn sorry;;
Even with never playing ZTD I personally didn't like how they handled Sigma's plot and stuff so a lot of the game just doesn't feel canon to me & I don't apply to my drawings of the characters;; Honestly some of the decisions made between vlr and ztd just baffle me like if Sigma and Phi are father & daughter, why would they make 22-year-old Sigma make weird passes/comments about her in vlr.... like i think before ztd was released uchikoshi had been like "i dont view sigma and phi romantically for reasons that will be explained later, don't view them like that" in an interview & im like.... you could have avoided ppl seeing them like that if you didn't write sigma making weird comments about phi in vlr...... idk i never viewed phi and sigma romantically while playing & mostly saw them as friends who insulted each other a lot, but i also wondered like maybe they're supposed to be a pairing or something?? So it was just weird for me to learn that in ztd "oh sigma's actually phi's dad" and "oh sigma actually sees luna as his daugter" when it seemed like vlr was implying otherwise...
(again i dont ship sigma/phi and personally never saw them romantically in vlr... I do think it's weird that they made sigma flirt (?) w phi in vlr & think they should've been more careful abt how they handled their dialogue given that they are revealed to be father and daughter.)
Anyway idk, a lot of sigma's character and relationships w other characters is just so weirdly written.... like i know most ppl dont like him for making gross comments abt the girls in vlr and i agree... i think there are ways to write horny characters (or even just characters that find a lot of ppl attractive) without having to make them make a lot of gross comments at people... it's like annoying to me that there's all this weird stuff surrounding him when I really liked a lot of his other characterization (like being kinda a goofy idiot but smart at the same time, his instinct to just trust ppl immediately, his kinda surprising earnestness despite seeming like a self-centered douchebag sndnnxj).
I guess the point is... i like and draw sigma/luna (mostly college au bc post-vlr is kinda complicated) bc i basically ignore a lot of what goes on in ztd and am able to detach myself enough from the game given that ive never played it, but also if it makes ppl uncomfortable truly I do understand that bc he does canonically say he thinks of her as a daughter.... I really really dont see them like that tho so anytime i draw them please know it's not as a father-daughter relationship;;
I don't draw them much anymore but like if it does make most ppl uncomfortable i don't mind not posting what I draw, or like making a tag for them for ppl to block... idk. This is basically a non-issue bc i really haven't drawn sigluna in a while... but i do also want to eventually finish that comic i was working on last year, which kind of has sigluna themes (tho the conclusion is why things can't work between them tbh sjnxndnn idk in post-vlr timeline i kinda hc no endgame romance for sigma... hence why i ship him w so many ppl in my weird college au LMAO;;)
Anyway yeah. Idk what else to say here, there's not really a point to this post just kinda blabbing... might delete later bc i hate having opinions on things jsncndnjc
SIGH in conclusion i think uchikoshi did sigma dirty lmao.....
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*inhales* hi ! i’m roni ( she/her ) , i’m nineteen , i’m from california and i must confess : i’m a fake very very clueless as i’ve never been in any sort of hp rp before . . . but i’m also rly Determined so i’m gonna fake it ‘til i make it ! but anyways , this is marc and he’s a loser ?? i’m rly bad at writing bios but . . . i tried ?? but yeah , pls read about him below ! also give this a like if you’d like to plot && i’ll message you asap , though i’m probably gonna message everyone anyways omg
dusty stacks of old, worn out books you’ve collected but haven’t yet found the time to read . . . forgiving someone no matter how hard it may be . . . the hand that pulls you back up when you fall . . . fields of sunflowers at sunset . . . doing what you think is right even if others are against it . . . the warm and calming sounds of a piano filling the room . . . lying in the grass for hours, soaking up the warm sun .
if you’re looking for MARC MCKINNON, you’ll probably find HIM in the HUFFLEPUFF dorm with the rest of the SEVENTH years. they’re the TWENTY-ONE year old PUREBLOOD who looks kind of like ALEX FITZALAN. they seem AFFABLE, COURTEOUS & FRANK to me, but apparently they’re also STUBBORN, OPINIONATED & FICKLE. maybe that’s why their patronus is A BASSET HOUND. ( cis male / he/him )
。・ * ✧ about !
marc was never as bright or quick as his sister, often finding himself among the average ( and even sometimes below ) , though he never really minded, finding comfort in knowing he’d at least tried his very best.
even as a child, marc was kind and gentle ( much like his parents ) as well as curious and full of his own thoughts and opinions. as he got older, the more he believed his opinions were always right and was more adamant towards them. one of his earliest thoughts was regarding the attitude and morals held by most purebloods-- he simply didn’t understand them, and almost hated being stuck with the label, as well. he kept it to himself for a while, but soon learned his parents felt the same way, and everything made sense to him. he knew he was right and it was then he vowed to speak his mind more frequently rather than hide his opinions.
marc always felt deep down that he was a hufflepuff and hoped for nothing more when first attending hogwarts. any fear he might’ve felt about getting sorted into any other house was quickly buried-- he knew in his heart he wouldn’t get them, and his heart was rarely wrong. he only hoped his sister would be there with him, but he knew she’d be fine on her own in slytherin, and she was, mostly. marc, on the other hand, struggled his first year trying to find his own place within the school and within his house. it didn’t take long, though, and people were sort of drawn to him -- his friendly and polite disposition almost like a beacon -- and he soon found himself climbing the social ladder, not entirely realizing how or when it happened.
he still wasn’t the brightest student, but he had found certain things he did excel at, such as herbology, astronomy, potions, care of magical creatures, and charms ( though he also thoroughly enjoyed muggle studies ) as well as quidditch ( as a chaser ! ) and even becoming a prefect for his house.
marc is most often spotted chatting with friends in the hall ( and constantly making new ones ) , helping anyone and everyone in need of it, or just . . . arguing. though in his free time, he loves to read, play music, and just like ... walk around exploring ??
。・ * ✧ etc !
house : hufflepuff
patronus : a basset hound
clubs / etc : quidditch ( chaser ! ) , prefect , potions club , astronomy club, charms club
pets : a toad . . . name tbd
zodiac sign : scorpio ( 6 november ! )
positive traits : affable / courteous / frank / open-minded / determined / loyal / patient / optimistic / confident yet humble / etc
negative traits : stubborn / opinionated / fickle / adamant / disorganized / etc
inspo : amy santiago , michael scott , winston bishop , jessica day , etc
im rly bad at writing bios so i don’t think i got to properly convey everything i wanted to so !! time to blab ?? slash ( / ) a tldr ?? okay so !!
marc spends a lot of his free time reading but he’s kinda a slow reader bc he gets distracted easily or can’t find the free time but he rly does love to read ??
loves loves loves plants n herbology ??
is rly rly friendly n loves company n loves people he’s just a people person i guess??
isn’t the most talented ever but he’s okay with that because he knows his strengths lie more in other things !!
he doesn’t know what he wants to do in the future and if u ask him , he’ll give u a different answer each time ( though his go-to’s are usually something about wanting to work in hogsmead or as a herbology professor even though he knows either might not be the best fit , like , socially?? )
follows the rules but sometimes wishes he was a bit more rebellious ??
but he likes to wander around a lot and if people question him he’ll pull the prefect card
basically he’s ..all the stuff in his musings tag n aesthetics and that scene from spider-man homecoming where peter’s like “i can be intimidating” ( this one ) except ..he can sometimes but that’s usually just bc he’s rly loud n passionate about his opinions omg he’s rly just a softie i wish i was better at elaborating but i’m not but trust me you’ll see dhfjd
。・ * ✧ connection ideas !
i’m so ! bad @ this but uh
best friends / ( fr )enemies / unlikely friends / bad influence / any friends ???
exes / flirtationship / unrequited crush ( can go either way ) ??
forgot to mention . . . but marc is bi so !! these are open to anyone n everyone !!
idk let’s wing it !
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