#nooo he was very important

[starlightervarda]

I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???

🪴 plantdad Follow

You've got to be kidding me

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!

5,324 notes

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.

955 notes

🖖 iamspock Follow

Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.

For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.

Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?

I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.

💅 janicethemenace Follow

I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT

💉 xtinechapel Follow

DELETE THIS

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭

🔧 scott-free Follow

But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

DMing you rn 😳

🖖 iamspock Follow

You're welcome.

24,103 notes

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.

My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.

🪴 plantdad Follow

I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

Do I really have to say it?

6,322 notes

💊 mmmbenga Follow

The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist

⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow

Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.

💊 mmmbenga Follow

Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole

#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them

35,007 notes

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

Erica no! That's not how navigation works!

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

FLOOR IT???

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

ERICA NO

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID

🚀 mitchiemitch

ERICA P L E A S E

112,517 notes

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.

How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO

💫 numerouna Follow

Wait what did I miss while I was gone

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///

2,904 notes

#star trek #Star Trek tos #Star Trek snw #James kirk #Jim kirk #spock #Leonard mccoy #nyota uhura #spirk #una chin riley #montgomery scott #uhotty #Chris pike #joseph m'benga #Star Trek aos #pavel chekov #Hikaru sulu #erica ortegas #christine chapel #bones mccoy #Tumblr dashboard simulator #Star Trek meme #Star Trek strange new worlds #Star Trek the original series

[hotpinkstars]

-> sleepy cuddles

synopsis -> wriothesley comes home tired and upset from a bad day at the fortress. so, you just have to indulge in a cuddle session.

warnings -> angsty, sad wrio nooo.. mentions of fighting, baby sigewinne got hurt oh no, more angsty than i thought whoops

w/c -> 659

you were awakened to heavy footsteps entering your home at around 11:00 pm.

usually they’re a lot softer, much less aggressive, thats for sure. you recognized them though- they were your husband, wriothesleys. he seemed pretty upset.

you pick your head up from the pillow, groaning as you slowly got out of bed to see what he was doing. to no surprise, he was in the kitchen, brewing tea. he had his head in his hands, oblivious to your approaching form.

“wrio… whats wrong?” you said in a raspy, groggy tone, and accidentally startled the man, for you were able to catch him jump the slightest bit before bringing one of his hands into yours. “talk to me.”

he just groaned, pulling you flush against his chest, before nearly breaking down into tears. when you felt the first drop of wetness on your bare shoulder, you pulled out of the hug, grabbing his face in gentle hands.

“okay, something is seriously wrong. how bad was today?” you look at him in pity. one thing you’ve learned from being married to this man for two and a half years is that when the great, mighty duke of meropide cries, it’s almost as important as if the city flooded over with primordial seawater. but only that important to you.

he took a shaky breath in, and then looked down. “pretty bad. two inmates decided to pick on sigewinne. her injuries were enough to send her up here for more professional medical treatment. even for me, it was scary, seeing how she felt helpless and couldn’t patch herself up like she normally does.” he exhaled. “they took her vision and taunted me with it. obviously i got it back, but not without a fight.”

you nod, standing next to him as he pours his tea in a mug. he took a sip before offering you some, in which you politely declined.

“how long is sigewinnes absence going to last? if anything, i have some medical experience behind my back. i can stich up a wound at most. if you want my help in the infirmary, then i’d be happy to offer.”

he scratched his temple, seeming to debate on whether or not that would be a good idea.

“we’ll see, i have yet to get detailed information on her stay. once i get more, i’ll let you know if thats needed or not.”

you nod, before taking his hand in yours, leading him into bed. he changed his clothes before joining you.

once you two made it into bed, he snuggled up against you as you rubbed his back to try and ease some of his pains. you could tell the incident involving sigewinne was weighing like a fifty pound weight on his mind, and you wanted to silently remind him that you were always there for him.

this is where you felt the tears spill out, with light gasps to follow. he was never an obnoxious cryer. you just held him tighter, allowing him to cry it out and allow his mind to process things.

you continued to rub his back and shoulders, calming him down. he hugged you even tighter, shoving his face in your chest before finding it okay to shut his eyes. your hands made their way from his back, to his shoulders, to the back of his head, fluffing his soft hair. it smelled very nicely of tea leaves and a sweet and smokey scent. something you could compare to vanilla, but with a, once again, smokier touch to it. he loved when you put your head on top of his, occasionally leaning in to kiss it.

within a matter of ten minutes, he had drifted off. you kept him close, making sure a nightmare doesn’t rouse him from his sleep. the last thing you both wanted was him to be tired in the morning, and adding that to additional stress? oh, the duke certainly was not a morning person.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x reader fluff #genshin fluff #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley angst #wriothesley x reader angst #genshin angst #genshin x reader angst

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: Play fighting with M6

Julian

A duel, you say? Allow him to demonstrate his years of combat experience - oh you're stronger than he expected

Wait that's kind of hot

Makes no further effort to win. Does he pretend like he's trying? Yes. Have you seen how he fights when he's actually trying? Yes. Is there a marked difference between now and then? Absolutely

Oh no, you've pinned him again, MC, oh nooo ...

The only way to convince him to take it seriously is if you make some kind of bet ahead of time for something that you know he wants (e.g., unlimited quantities of caffeine for the next 24 hours)

In which case you will actually have to struggle, but you must bear in mind that this is someone who has survived so far on wit and the ability to make himself useful. He is not a combat artist

You have a good chance at winning anyways, only this time he's significantly sweatier from the effort of losing

Will absolutely try to distract you so he can get the upper hand (again, assuming that he's interested in winning)

MC, look over there! MC, has he ever told you about that one adventure near the strait of seals? MC, are you ticklish?

Asra

They are stronger than they look, and to this day nobody knows why because you've never seen them work out in their life

(it's the lifetime of constant magic use, it takes more physical stamina than you'd expect)

He's also got more practice getting through a fight than he'd like to admit to after spending his childhood on the streets

All this to say, they know how to win and you can tell

Except that he's not nearly as focused on winning as he is on finding ways to make you laugh and smile and plant a kiss wherever you're the most ticklish

Play fighting with them follows the following steps:

1) initiate fight

2) get consistently pinned into different snuggling positions

3) give up and snuggle, OR

4) alternate ending: don't give up, keep squirming out of his grip until he's tired of it all and

5) they grab the closest blanket (potentially out of thin air) and wrap you into an MC-burrito so they can snuggle you in peace (finally) while you wriggle and pout

Nadia

Hasn't done this since she was a child and her older sisters would challenge her to it. Doesn't know why you're interested in such a childish past time, but if it makes you happy ...

Hm. This is more fun than she expected

Especially when it involves lovingly pinning you and watching you try to struggle out of her hold

Actually, if you want to conserve energy, you might want to try adjusting your grip - like so - see?

And when it comes to grappling, you'd do well to shift your weight to the other leg a little more - yes, exactly like that

What starts as a play fight will quickly turn into a grappling lesson

Which is still plenty enjoyable, but it's not exactly what you were going for when you started it

No worries though. Your countess does enjoy a challenge, so improving your own skills will only serve you down the road when you initiate a rematch

If you get tired but don't want to surrender, tickling will work to get you out of her grip

Only do this with caution, as she will remember it and pay you back

Muriel

Play fighting with Muriel is impossible, but not for the reasons that you would think

To begin with, it's difficult to initiate. If you walk up to him with a broad grin and say "let's fight", he'll start checking you over to see if you've hit your head

If you run at him for a playful tackle, he'll just stand there unmoving and watch you "splat" onto him. You have strange ways of initiating physical contact and showing affection, but he doesn't judge

If anything he'll just awkwardly pat your head and then look away so you can't see his blush

The closest you'll get is by telling him you want to spar, but then he'll take it very seriously because it's important that you don't let Morga's training go to waste (and you should protect yourself)

He'll make space in the clearing and fetch your bow and his staff and set up some practice targets for you

By then you won't have the heart to tell him that that's not what you meant so it's going to be an afternoon of training instead

On the plus side, you have the benefit of watching him work out those muscles

Portia

Oh, now you're speaking her love language!

She is also very strong, but she knows that the whole point of a play fight is the fun of testing each other's limits, so she's not going to put all of her strength into defeating you

Unless, of course, you don't seem like you're giving it your all either

Well now she's fired up

Something to know about being close to Portia: she gets competitive very quickly and doesn't like giving up

The more she thinks you're holding back, the more she's going to push you until she's either found your limit or you've found hers

Play fighting has been known to devolve into a pillow fight, by the way, which begins with flying pillows

And continues with Pepi getting worked up and pouncing on said flying pillows

And ends with feathers flying everywhere while the cat subdues her foe (the now shredded pillowcase) and Portia spends the next two days picking them out of her hair

She will unironically shake your hand and say "good match" after

Lucio

He always starts off by taking it more seriously than is warranted

This is a golden opportunity to show off how strong and manly and impressive he is

Ooh, this is a lot of physical contact

He likes this. He likes this quite a lot

He thinks he can take advantage of this

All of a sudden he's completely lost focus (which you're lucky for, because unless you have a level of combat experience similar to his, he's got an advantage in both skill and enhanced arm strength)

Hey, if his shirt "accidentally" comes even more unbuttoned than it already is, that's a mere coincidence and he has no idea what you're talking about (though he doesn't mind you looking)

Oh no, there goes his cape too!!

And his shoes. And his jacket. You should probably call it quits before Mercedes and Melchior decide to play tug-of-war with his satchel and ultimately run off and bury it

Speaking of, the dogs will come running and barking if they think Lucio is losing and can't tell that it's on purpose

If his makeup gets smudged he'll pout until you kiss it better

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

[sb-essebi]

thinking about... Dream telling Desire to stay away from Hob. Telling them that he'll forget they're family if they hurt Hob or mess with him somehow. Not because Desire has done anything to Hob in almost 700 years he's been alive, but just in case. Because Dream loves Hob, actually, he loves him so much he won't say a word about it because obviously Hob would never be interested and besides Dream's love is ruin yadda yadda so he'll be damned if Desire is the one to bring about Hob's doom just because Dream was clear enough that Hob is off-limits.

Desire just... shudders in disgust and is like. No. Don't worry, not going anywhere near that one. Never been, never gonna. Not happening, thank you very much.

And Dream is just completely befuddled because Desire sounds... actually 100% honest? So Dream replies with the most confused and high-key offended "Why???", because why wouldn't Desire mess with Hob? Can't they see that Dream loves him desperately? can't they see that Hob is fucking perfect, actually, and he's Dream's best friend and Dream's whole world can't revolve around him but it's a close thing? how dare they not consider Hob worthy of being messed with?

(yes, Dream is so caught up on being offended that Desire doesn't seem to see how important and perfect Hob is that he doesn't realize that Desire being uninterested is ideal and literally Dream's desired outcome)

So Desire explains that they literally couldn't stand being in the same room as Hob. Ugh. Just perceiving him, his desires, his heart is vomit-inducing. Hob tastes of unconditional devotion to Dream. He reeks of pure unbridled scorching-hot lust for Dream. His heart has a Dream-shaped hole in it and has Dream's name written all over it. He desires the tiniest scrap of Dream's attention with the same intensity he desires Dream's hand in marriage. He'd be great if he were just greedy for life and food and drink and sex but nooo, he takes those just enough for granted these days that he desires nothing but Dream's company, Dream's smiles, Dream's touch, Dream in his home, Dream in his dreams, Dream's lips and the feel of Dream's hair and the smell of Dream's skin and the taste of Dream's- listen, it's just Dream Dream Dream in that guy's head all day every day and Desire. can't. stand it. It's not the too much desiring that's the problem, it's the too much desiring Dream that is. Desire WISHES they could just cut Hob off from their realm so they could stop feeling it, but they can't!

Anyway, this is how Dream finds out Hob loves him, and he has to excuse himself immediately to process the double delight of "he loves me back" and "this very fact makes Desire's existence absolutely wretched"

Of course, Desire's existence is about to become even more miserable as Dream satisfying some of Hob's desires is like a dam breaking open, if he wanted Dream when he thought it would never happen then watch Hob want him now that it's within his grasp. Desire never knows peace again.

#dreamling #desire of the endless #text #my post

[spiritseeeker]

This singular frame was all it took to undo my very extreme hatred of Adam, Vivienne Medrano how dare you make me feel sympathy for this man-

Like, Adam before this scene? A blatant misogynist and a hypocrite who unabashedly revels in sinners' suffering. A guy who has no regard for anyone else, and who pisses pretty much every viewer off with patronizing jabs like "sorry sweetie" and "try to chillax, babe." Ugh, disgusting.

As the first man, it seems like he got an easy pass into Heaven. Maybe the angels were just saving face, given that their core pair of humans both took the fruit of knowledge of good and evil willingly, ordaining Adam on the technicality that "Eve did it first." But I think we can all agree that it was not on the merit of Adam's virtue.

And then Charlie draws blood during their fight in Episode 8, and, for the first time, Adam genuinely realizes he can be hurt. Like, for the first time in the duration of the show, in his entire fucking existence, someone shows him that he is not, in fact, an all-powerful symbol of power and superiority. He's just a guy with privilege who is just as vulnerable, just as flawed, just as human as the rest of them.

But once the mask is shattered, revealing the rather unexceptional man underneath, does Adam back down? Of course not—he doubles down. There's nothing worse than a narcissist who is virtually incapable of seeing the error of their ways, even when they're clearly backed into a corner. Bruised and bloody, he bellows that he's THE man; everybody should worship him.

For me, that pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. There was no redeeming a character like Adam (ironic, since he's one of the few characters in the show not in need of redemption).

So isn't it fitting, then, that his death didn't happen in some grand display requiring all of Lucifer or Charlie's might? Isn't it fitting that Adam falls to Niffty—not Lucifer, not an overlord, but a common sinner, who sees him as nothing more than a foot soldier that needs to be eliminated, a pest as easily squashed as a roach? For someone as self-aggrandizing as Adam, this has to be one of the most humiliating ways to die. The perfect end for an insufferable antagonist.

But nooo, Vivziepop didn't end it there.

Because INSTEAD, we hear Lute's heart-wrenching screams as she realizes that Adam has just been defeated; we see the look on her tear-streaked face when it registers just how badly he's been injured. The fear in her eyes at the prospect of living in a world without the angel she idolizes, the man she serves.

She's not concerned that she's just lost her arm, or that Vaggie is standing right there. In that moment, the only person in Hell is Adam, and all she wants is for him to stay with her.

Adam could have easily dismissed her feelings entirely. He could have spent his last breath hurling one last insult at Lucifer, getting the satisfaction of having the last word before his death. He could have thrown himself a pity party and cursed his fate.

Instead, this greedy, selfish, murderous fiend has the audacity to see Lute in his field of vision and flash her one last, tender smile.

We don't know for sure what Adam was thinking in this shot, but personally, I think it was something along the lines of I lost. Proud of you, Lute. I'll miss you. Goodbye.

Whatever his final thoughts are, we can surmise from his expression alone that he's accepted his fate, and that he's grateful his last seconds alive are locking eyes with someone who's important to him. Someone he cares about.

And THAT—that was enough to crack through that thick shell of hatred I'd developed for Adam and shatter it like the mask he wore for seven and a half episodes of the show. THAT 8-second moment was enough to make me reconsider my stance on Adam as an irredeemable villain.

(CURSE YOU, VIVIENNE!!!)

Does this scene cancel out all the heinous things Adam does throughout Season 1? All the lives he destroys, all the pain he causes to thousands upon thousands of souls? Absolutely not. But it does change my perception of Adam from "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness" to "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness that is a product of the flawed system he perpetuates."

And, I gotta wonder, what would Adam have been like if Heaven had been different?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin adam #adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel theory #spirit musings #I had to do a character study of adam #that scene lives rent free in my mind #and now i'm kind of obsessed with adam despite how much he irked me #how dare you vivienne

[gauloiseblue]

Medic!Reader × Poly!141

Part I | Part II | Part III

[Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, a love confession if you squint]

Taglist: @rainlovesyou12 @nijiru

When you're back at the base, the first thing that you get from your team is collective stares

"What happened to your cheek?" Price asked, visibly concerned

"Got punched by an asshole." You replied, still holding the ice pack against your face

"How did it happen?" He then glares at Graves, "You let this happen on your watch?"

He throws both of his hands in the air, while maintaining his smug face, "Easy there, soldiers." He said, "Sorry that I got your princess harmed, but it's necessary for the mission."

"Necessary?" Price growls, "Watch your mouth when you speak, Graves."

"Alright, alright. I'll leave." He then pats on Gaz's shoulder before turning around

The group immediately approaches you after he leaves, trying to look at your wound

"Whoa, he really gave you a nasty punch." Soap commented, "He wore rings?"

"All over his fingers."

"It'll take long before the bruise heals." Ghost interjected, "Since you're the medic here, I'm sure you know what's best for you."

Price nods before he looks at you, "You don't have to work today, you can rest after a mission."

"No, I'll come to work." You said, "Don't worry about me, captain."

He seems reluctant, but lets you do it anyway

Thankfully, your job requires you to use a mask, so most of your bruises are concealed.

At dinner, Graves brings quite a lot of alcohol to celebrate their mission. (The team had retrieved the important documents, as well as eliminating the target, so It's pretty much a success)

You usually skipped alcohol, but tonight you feel like you need it, so you join in

The table that you're in is pretty big, so three other soldiers are sitting with you and you team

Surprisingly, your team can handle their alcohol very well, but Soap is a lively drunkard, he talks a lot, and keeps the alcohol flows

Meanwhile, you're a chatty drunk. You can't keep a secret when you're drunk

"He touched me with his filthy hand, so of course I'd slap him." You confessed, "But then he dared to punch me in the face. The audacity."

"That's rough." Gaz winced

"But y'know, sometimes our job comes with those kinds of things." One of the men shrugged, "I didn't ask for it when I got shot or tortured, but then again, that's the consequences of my job."

"I didn't ask to be a surveillance." You hissed, "I'm just a medic, for God's sake."

"You could've ask him—"

"I did! I even tried to reason with him but nooo, he did care." You grit your teeth, "Even after roping me into this, he never once gave me any info for the mission and told me to be pretty and meek. At least I could've prepared if he told me things I could be dealing with during the mission."

"Cut it out, boy." Price stopped him before he could reply, "Y'know Graves was in the wrong here. We always brief our soldiers before missions."

"I'm not defending him."

The other man, who's silent for the whole interaction, finally speaks, "Maybe he did it because you've been using his name for unnecessary things."

You snort, "Somehow borrowing his name equals me almost getting raped?"

He shrugs, "Sometimes mentioning a certain name equals death."

"Yeah, okay, I get it." You immediately got up from your seat, "I'm just a spoiled bastard who can't handle the slightest discomfort aren't I?"

"Where are ye goin'?" Soap called when you're walking away

"My room. I'm tired of this shit."

Once you get into your room, you don’t bother to change your clothes as you go straight to bed

Of course, after getting angry and all, you can't immediately fall asleep. It takes about 15 minutes, before you're free from your anger

Then, you hear a knock on the door, before you hear a voice calls your name softly from outside

"Are you still awake?" You heard Price spoke

You contemplate whether you should answer or not, and decide to pick the first one

"Can I come in?" He asked, and you said yes

He steps inside, and pulls a chair by your bed. You turn around to see him, not hiding the tears streak on your face

"I'm sorry for what happened earlier, I hope you know he didn't mean that."

"I know." You frown while looking away, "I know all of those soldiers didn't mean to yell, or use hurtful words, I understand that, but I always try to comfort them, not telling them to grin and bear it."

He nods understandingly, "The constant threat in the field does make people numb to other's needs."

"Why are you here? Are you apologizing on their behalf?"

"No, I just got a feeling that you'd change division if I didn't clear it up."

You let out an amused snort, "I was just thinking about leaving. I hate Graves anyway."

"I won't force you to stay but I'll be very sad if you don't, you know how much I love your food." You roll your eyes at him, he chuckles, "Please hold on for one more month, then we'll go back home, to our base."

"Well, I can't disobey you if you say that, Captain."

"You better be."

You chuckle at him, and he gives you his usual (and sweet) smile. "Thank you, Price. I really do."

"No prob." He pats your arm, "You can talk to me whenever you want."

"I'll keep it in mind."

The next morning, when you're preparing your medical equipments, a patient comes into the room, and catches you by surprise as you recognize his face

"Johnny? Oh—" You hurriedly come to his side, "What happened to your face?"

"Got into a fight last nite." He grins, "Y'should've seen the other guy tho."

"My God, why did you do that? Who was it?" He looked away when you asked him, "... Don't tell me,"

"Ye don't 've ta worry 'bout it, bonnie."

"You can't make me not worry about you." You retorted, "They could've given a penalty!"

"Nah, they won't. 'M too valuable for that."

"Still," You let out a sigh, "You didn't have to do that."

"Yer angry at 'em."

"But it's only for a moment. I'm… used to that."

He looks at you for a moment, before pulling your hand into his. "Bonnie, ye kno' when you asked me to be a fake boyfie, ye told me that no one in the group'd be willin' ta help ya?" You furrow your brows at him as he continues, "Well, t'was a lie. They won't hesitate ta help ya, bonnie. But I didn't tell ya because I don't want 'em to."

You open your mouth to speak, but no word comes out of your mouth.

He chuckles at your silence, before giving your shoulder a pat." Make of that wha' yer will."

With that, he left the room. Leaving you there, dumbfounded, before you realize you haven't even treated him yet

You thought about him for half of a day, until lunch came and you sat down on the table without looking around. You didn't hear when the chair beside you was pulled, before someone took a seat

"Man, I miss your cooking." You snapped out of your thoughts, as you turned to see Gaz. "Everything tastes bland here, I can't even tell the difference between one dish and the other."

You chuckle when he pokes out his tongue in dismay, "I miss cooking too," You stare down at your plate, "... Helped me clear my mind."

"What's on your mind?" He asked, "Care to share?"

"Not sure if you'd wanna hear it though."

"What are you saying?" He retorted softly as he gave your shoulder a squeeze, "You know I'd listen to you."

"You're sweet, Gaz." You chuckled, "But really, I just wanna go back to our base. But at the same time, I feel like I'm just retreating back to my shell. I know that I can't be choosy for this job, but I wish I could be with you guys for a long time."

His gaze stays on you for a while, before he speaks in a hushed tone, "Don't tell anyone that I say this to you, but last night, me and Price were discussing about your contract, and," He leans closer, "It's possible to do a rescission for the contract. Since you've been put in harm's way."

"Really?"

He nods, "He might pull some strings to get you back, but the higher ups would dismiss it since you're not an operator. We're confident that this'll work, since Laswell herself has approved it."

You look at him for a moment, before pulling him into your arms. "Thank you." You said to him, "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

You feel him smile before he pats your back, "People said that you're a spoiled princess," He grinned, "But we certainly don't mind spoiling you."

"You'll regret it someday."

"You're worth the regret."

His words stuck with you for the rest of the day, and somehow it lifted up your spirit as you took care of the wounded with ease. At night, when you're walking back to your room, you spot the masked man in the hallway. His head turns when you call his name, and you wave at him.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Are you done for the day?"

"Mostly." He replied, "Just need to fill some paperwork."

"Alright then."

The two of you would bid goodbye, if you both didn't hear the angry stomp echoing in the corridor. You turn your head towards the sound, and your blood runs cold as you recognize the face

"I need to talk to you." Graves said with an unmistakable rage in his voice, "My office. Now."

You're about to open your mouth before you feel yourself pulled, until your body bumps against a hard muscle. It takes a second before you realize that Simon has his arm wrapped around you.

"Get outta the way, boy." He warned with a glare, "It's none of your business."

"No." He stated, as he kept you by his side

He snorts when he hears it. "No?" He sneered

"If it's about the revocation of the contract, she's not the one who filed it." He glared, "I did."

"Oh." He raised his brow in a mocking manner, "So you're the one who wrote those things?"

"Affirmative." He responded, "I was the one who saw her during the assault, so I'm eligible to give the account as a witness."

You see his muscles harden under his neck, as he hisses to the masked man, "I hope you're ready for Russia because that's where I'm sending you."

"Go ahead and try."

Just like that, the storm has passed by.

You don't know how long you stand there, before he reluctantly lets you go from his arm. You clear your throat as you step aside to face him.

"Um… Thank you." You told him while looking down

You feel his eyes on you, before his hand reaches up to pat your head. "It's nothing."

He bids you goodnight as he tells you to return to your room. You obey as you walk to your door, but when you look back to see him, you still find him standing on the same spot

The next morning, when you deliver your report to the Captain's office, you notice a familiar figure by his desk

The two men were talking, before they lifted their head when you walked in

"Hi." You greeted them, "Hope I'm not interrupting?"

"Not at all." Price reassured, "We were just discussing over something."

"Somethin' ta help fo' yer case, bonnie." His captain nudged him when he said it, "Wot? 'M sho she a'ready knew."

"Is it about Graves?"

"Well," He sighs, "It is. We were just talking about the things that he submitted as evidence."

You shot him a puzzled look, before you turn to Soap.

"The letters, bonnie." He grinned, "I gave him the letters tha' bastard wrote."

"You still had those with you?"

"'Course!" He chuckled, "Ah wanted to use it to rile him up, turns out they're useful for yer case."

"While they won't be included as real evidence, they're enough to convince Laswell to give her approval."

You look at him, while hugging the file close to your chest. "Price, I don't know if I could even repay you back—"

"Don't worry about it, (Name)." He dismissed it by a flick of his hand, "It's my job to ensure your safety."

"And out job ta keep the valuable member o' the team by our side." Soap added with a pat on your back, "Graves can bugger off with his shite."

"Oh…" You cover your mouth, trying to contain your emotions. "Thank you, I—"

"Stop it, bonnie." He said as he pulled you against his chest, "You owe us nothin'."

You didn't cry joyless tears, but they didn't know since you couldn't speak through your sob. You feel bad for causing them to panic, since you cry not out of distress, rather, you're touched by their kindness. When you feel Soap's embrace tightens, and your Captain's hand on your back, you can't help but indulge for a little while

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #price x reader #soap x reader #gaz x reader #ghost x reader #price cod #soap cod #gaz cod #ghost cod #whew. it's finally done. thank you for reading <3 #fixed the last part

[sugarpea12345]

Remember My Name (Short story inspired by Saintobio)

Hello! This is a little thing I wrote inspired by @saintobio's work. This is directly inspired by they're sincerely yours and sincerely not .

To read and understand this, you must be caught up with sincerely not 's latest chapter (Chapter 8). I would consider this an AU, as I don't know what will happen in the next story. @saintobio 's is heart wrenching, so I had to write my own mini happy ending. Once they update, this whole thing probably won't make much sense lol.

I have received permission from @saintobio to post this

Again, this is directly inspired by @saintobio's work: Sincerely Yours and Sincerely Not.

Word count: 11.8 k

trigger warning: mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of cheating, curse words used, angst

_____________________________________________________________

It had been a year since the coparenting arrangement. 

Via emails and business calls, you would arrange weekly pick up times. It was strictly professional. The way you wanted it. Right?

Wrong

You knew that you were being selfish. Maybe you always were. Everyone was right. Sera, Eula, Getou, Satoru’s mom, and Satoru. You were a black hole. You pulled people into your problems and destroyed them. You spent so much of your life fighting to be half the woman your mom was. And you could never be. You knew this now

“Mama!”

Bending down, you opened your arms. Hugging him tightly, you thanked the chauffeur for picking him up from school.

“Hi baby! How’s my little star?”

“Good! School finished early?” It was a statement, but you knew he was asking. Why did you take him out of school early? You really didn’t know. This whole day had felt strange. The air felt heavier. Your fingers felt numb. Something was going to happen and you didn’t want to be alone for it.

“What? My star prefers to be with teachers than with me? You’re making mommy sad!” You playfully nuzzled your head against his cheek and dramatically pouted. 

“I’ll never let you go to school again! Ha HA HA” You laughed evilly as you stood up and spun him

“Nooo!” He screamed between laughing.

After a good second of smiles and laughter, you finally set him down.

“Baby, I took you out of school because I wanted to spend time with you. Mommy is being selfish, so I won’t do this again. School is very important, ok?”

“Hmm… but mommy isn’t selfish. She’s a good mommy!”

You almost burst out in tears. He was too young to see how awful you were. His innocence and love for you blinded him. He would someday see you for the monster you are.

Allowing silence to fill the room, you stared into his eyes. God, those eyes. Your whole world could be found in them. Ruffling his hair, you grabbed the nearby scarf and wrapped it around him. Like any kid he grumbled at the added layers.

“Let’s go get ice cream and have fun today. Ok, baby?”

“Ice Cream! I love ice cream! My friend always, they always like laugh at me but not like mean laughing. But they say it’s so weird to eat ice cream when its winter. They think it’s funny. I think it’s funny too! Is snow different from ice cream? Because there’s like all this ice cream on the floor because it’s all snow. I just grab some sometimes and it doesn’t taste the same!”

As he got older, he has gotten a lot more talkative. He spoke incoherently and in run on sentences, but you understood him, nonetheless. You listened attentively when he would spend 30 minutes telling you about a funny thing his friend said. You listened when he would explain his entire school day the entire dinner. You listened the whole time.

“Yes baby, ice cream is yummy! I’m glad you and your friends laugh a lot. And no baby, snow is not the same as ice cream. Snow is made from the water on the earther getting colder, becoming clouds, and falling down. Remember I was teaching you about the water cycle? Ice cream is made from milk!”

At the mention of the water cycle, Sachiro excitedly launched into another spiel. He talked about the cycle, reexplaining it to you. He talked about how his teacher says he’s smart and how he got a toy. He talked about how his friends always ask him for help. He talked all the way to the ice cream parlor. As soon as you two ordered your ice cream, you settled down. Listening to him talk about his dreams. You always set your phone on Do Not Disturb whenever you are with him. He loved attention. If for one second you were to look away, he would immediately deflate. He was a carbon copy of his father. Sometimes you contemplated getting rid of your phone for this reason.

You spent the rest of the day chasing him through the park: pretending to be a dragon he fought, teaching him how to do cartwheels, looking for bugs. You took as many pictures as you could. Filming his smile, his voice, his eyes. 

The day came to an end, and you carried him on your back to the apartment you were staying in. 

After showering him and singing him a song, you finally took your phone off of DND.

Immediately, you were bombarded with millions of messages from everyone. 20 missed calls from Gen. 11 from Ian. 6 from your dad. 120+ text messages in total. 1 from Gojo.

Was everything ok? Please don’t let something be bad. Please. Please everyone be safe.  You heart beat increased. You were immediately transported to when you received news of Satoru’s accident. When the world learned about you running out of your wedding. When Satoru’s affair came out to the world. When you first got the calls of your mother’s sickness...

No. I can’t be selfish right now. If something happened, I have to be strong. Swallowing your fears, you opened the message you thought was the most important right now

Satoru: I’m sorry

No no no. He can’t do this again. He can’t! No please God no… You were almost about to call him, when you received another message from Gen. She was incessantly messaging you. Accidentally clicking on it, you read her last message

Gen: Please answer. Are you ok?

Now you were confused. Why was she asking if you were ok? You weren’t the victim. Doing some simple sleuthing, you looked at all the previous messages. Your eyes widened. You heart stopped. Tears filled your eyes. Looking over at Sachi, you took in a shaky breath. You had to be strong. Or at least strong enough to leave the room before you broke down. You had to do this for him. Stop being selfish Y/N

Shakily you walked out of his room. Looking back to make sure he was asleep; you closed the door gently. Before falling to your knees and letting all the tears fall. They pooled in the floor. You made sure to be quiet, but you were inconsolable. You hugged yourself tightly. You were being selfish right now. You knew that. But you were alone, and it was dark. It was ok to be selfish right now. Your heart was racing as you consoled yourself.

After half an hour of crying on the floor. You took a deep breath in and stood up. You went to the bathroom and stared at yourself.

“You need to stop being such a selfish monster, Y/N. You can’t keep ruining people. You can’t always be the victim. You need to make amends for everything you’ve done.”

You started your nightly ritual. Tears would occasionally mix in with cleanser or the water, but you didn’t stop. You had to be normal. You had to be happy. You owed everyone that. Sometimes it felt like you were caged behind your smile. Your joy had become a prison: a way to pay off all the bad things you’ve done.

Settling in bed, you grabbed your phone and responded to almost everyone. Finally, you reached Satoru’s message. 

Y/N: No worries! Congratulations! I expect an invitation lol :)

Satoru proposed to Akemi.

(Flash back to a year ago)

After that New York trip, you hated everyone. You hated your dad for pushing you into this marriage. You hated Getou for helping Satoru cheat on you during your marriage, but not understand why you wouldn’t want a baby with Satoru. You hated Satoru’s mom for projecting her self-loathing onto you. You hated your mom for dying. 

Above all else, you hated Satoru for what he did to you. He blamed you for a marriage he agreed to. He gaslit you into staying, knowing your selfless nature would do anything for his forgiveness. Even if that meant being a wife to a man in love. You hated him for taking you to the Bora Bora trip. You hated him for choosing your only friend to date. You hated that you had to go through months of emotional neglect and abuse for him to be kind. Just for Akemi to get it immediately. You hated that he became a better person only after using you. You hated him. You HATED him.

A spiteful part of your heart almost laughed. You were right! All the reasons he loved you, he found in her. You saw all the pictures he had of her. You saw the way he would caress her fingers. You saw him waiting for her. He never loved you! You were just convenient. And that’s why he loved her! Because she was convenient. Had you never sent her to meet him, they wouldn’t have fallen in love. If anything, he would be dating the nurse! Gojo Satoru doesn’t love. He just clings on to what’s closest. 

You spent a month marinating in these thoughts. In the week where you didn’t have Sachiro, you wouldn’t leave the office. You had begun sleeping there. You lost weight. Your face was pale. You were a walking corpse. You got assistants to pick up and drop off Sachiro. You never spoke to Satoru. 

This was to be your life now. After spending three days in the basement of the office creating, cutting, and sowing, Nobara finally convinced you to leave.

“Seriously Y/N, this is the 4th time I’ve had to get you gauze instead of bandages. I know you’re hurt, and I know you’re trying to distract yourself. But this is getting dangerous. Not only for you but for the clothes! We can’t sell anything if it has your blood all over it!” She tried to joke at the end

 As you finished wrapping the gauze around your forearm, you pitifully looked at her. She was so young and innovative. Despite being an intern, you had already set aside a permanent spot in the company for her. Stop burdening her with your problems.

Blinking away your sorrowful expression, you laughed. “Guess I gotta wrap myself in gauze and bandages before getting to work right?”

“Or you could just take a break. Jeez, I never thought workaholic millionaires existed.”

Ruffling her head as you walked towards her. “Thank you for waiting for me. You really didn’t have to. I promise, I won’t take advantage of your kindness. Go ahead and go home, I’ll lock up.”

Stunned, she took a second to respond. Your eyes were different right now. They were vulnerable and sad, but they were so kind at the same time.

“It’s no problem! Really! Thank you Y/N. Let’s work hard together.” Bowing, she made her way out of the store. Maybe you were going to get better?

After cleaning up, you placed the small stuffed bear you were working on in your small bag. Locking the store behind you, you headed towards your apartment. You had made the choice to move out. You were so filled with anger all the time. It would kill you if you were to accidentally lash out against the people you treasured. It was a tough conversation, but you needed space. 

As you walked, you decided last minute to head into a craft store. You needed a simple heart locket. Then you could gift the toy to your son.

With only one mission and energy drinks fueling you, you almost didn’t notice them. It wasn’t until you heard your son’s gleeful laughter did you perk up. Peering through the aisles, you saw him. No, you saw them. They both held your son’s hands as they looked at the toys. Letting go only when he would rush over to the loudest or brightest thing. Finally, he settled on a small plush. It had no lights and didn’t make any noise. They encouraged him to get something more expensive. Something flashier. But he didn’t. He wanted the light pink bunny. 

“It makes me think of mama!”

You saw Satoru and Akemi falter. It seemed that even the mention of your name silenced them. Your heart was beating so loud, you were sure they could hear it too. Leaning down Satoru ruffled his head. 

“Aren’t you a sweet little munchkin! Oh, but look at this!” 

You heart almost stopped. You saw Satoru redirect Satchiro’s attention to a cooler, bigger toy. As any kid would, he dropped the stuffed bunny and ran towards the huge toy. Gojo and Akemi exchanged relieved expressions. After purchasing the toy, they headed out. 

Walking into the aisle, you picked the bunny up. Holding it, you inspected its simplicity. Looking at the face, you realized why the bunny reminded him of you. The bunny had little tear dops in its eyes. Rushing to the cashier, you bought the bunny and the heart locket. It appears that you rushed too fast, as by the time you exited the store, they were still there. 

Sachiro, the spoiled child he was, was throwing a tantrum at having to be put in the car seat. As if he could detect your presence, Satoru immediately looked up. He saw you holding the bunny toy. His eyes filled with guilt and embarrassment. He knew that you were going to be upset. Of course you were. You were always angry at something. Nonetheless, he called you over. You were still the mother of his child.

After seeing the domestic moment in the store, you wanted to go up to them and give them a piece of your mind. You wanted to yell at them at the very least. But no, you walked over to them. Refusing to look up. 

At the mention of your name Sachiro perked up. Although he was already strapped into the seat, he did his best to peek out of the car door.

“Hi Y/N”. the tension was palpable. Choosing to ignore him, you approached Sachiro.

“Hi my little star! How are you? Did you have fun today?”

“Hi mommy! I missed you! Wanna go home! We did a lot of stuff-hmm mommy what are you holding?”

Remembering you were holding the bunny, you quickly hid it behind you back. “Just work stuff baby. I’m happy to hear you had fun! Mommy has to go, but I’ll see you this Sunday, ok baby?”

Giving him a big kiss, you did your best to hug him and said goodbye. 

Without looking up, you thanked Gojo and Akemi and began walking away. As soon as you got home, you set the plush down and pulled out your own. They both looked so ugly in your bandaged hands. Gently setting down the plush bunny, you tightly held onto the bear’s neck. Slowly, the pressure increased, and you were chocking the bear as tears streamed down your face. It was so ugly. This ugly bear in your ugly hands in your ugly home. Everything was so ugly. 

A beep from your phone broke you from this trance. It was from Satoru. 

Satoru: Hey

Satoru: Just wanted to let you know that we meant no harm in not getting him the bunny.

Then why? Why not get him that stupid toy! Sachiro is my kid! I am his mom! If he wanted that toy, then you should have gotten it! You almost wrote everything you thought. But no- no you were wrong. Sachiro wasn’t yours. Satoru had every right to get his son whatever he wanted. You kept Sachiro away from him for three years. You were the bad guy. 

Trembling you came to the realization. Rushing to the bathroom, you stripped yourself of all the clothes and the bandages. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You almost barfed. You were a monster. You were disgusting. Disfigured. Non-human.

Is this how Satoru felt?

The worst part of you were your eyes. They were so dead. Did you always look like this? How could anyone even stand to look at you? You were vile.

You had change. You spiraled into an abyss of anger and resentment. You lost yourself. Where was the sweet girl you once were. Growing a backbone didn’t mean you had to change. After a quick shower filled with tears, you got dressed and headed into the spare room. You spent the rest of the night making a light blue bunny. Unlike the store bought one, this one was smiling. It was happy. Sowing the heart locket onto the chest, you put in a small image of you and Sachiro. 

You had to be better. You had to be kind.

Grabbing the phone, you replied.

Y/N: Thank you for reaching out, but really, I didn’t mind! 

Y/N: Good night!

The next day, you didn’t go to work. Instead, you were at a café, waiting for someone to show up. You felt awful, but you knew this was the best thing to do. You had to be kind. Even if that meant being a villain. If being evil is the price you pay, then you will gladly pay it. Even more people would hate you. Everyone would. But you knew what you were doing was good. You had to be good. 

As soon as he walked in, you knew that he knew. His furrowed brow and tight jaw made it obvious that he was upset. And he had every right to be. Any anger and hate he harbored for you, you would accept.

“Toji, here’s your coffee. I’m so incredibly sorry for calling you at the last minute. I appreciate the time you took out of your day to meet with me”

He didn’t even sit down. He didn’t take the coffee.

Its now or never. Getting on your knees, you placed your hands on the floor and bowed. Your forehead was almost touching the floor. 

“Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for letting me join your family. Thank you for everything Toji. And I am so sorry for not giving you an ounce of it back. I am a selfish monster. I took everything you gave me and more. I was never a good fiancé. I wasn’t even a good friend. I took advantage of your loneliness. I will never forget the time we had together. But I ask you to forget about me. You deserve a more honest person. A person who can give you everything you deserve and more.”

People were looking and many taking pictures. Noticing this, he grabbed you by your arm, and headed out of the café. His grip was strong; it was sure to leave a bruise in your forearm, he nearly threw you into the passenger side of the car, slamming the door. He walked over to his side and began driving. The car was silent. You took refuge in it. You knew what he was going to ask. And you had to lie. You had to make him hate you. 

Soon enough, he parked in a desolate park. He refused to look at you. You didn’t want to look at him either, but you did. You had to. 

After minutes of harrowing silence, he finally spoke in a low voice

“Did you sleep with him?”

You knew he was going to ask this. A tear slid down your cheek. Your hands had begun to bleed as you kept them in closed fists.

“Yes”

He still didn’t look at you.

“Bullshit. You forget that I can see through your lies. I know why you’re doing this. You love him. You never stopped. Even after all the shit he put you through you still want him. Why now? Three years and I wasn’t enough for you. I defend you; I support you... all for what? For you to run back to your abuser. Every time I think your mine, you disrespect me. You humiliate me. You’re doing to me what that fucker did to you.”

“…Yes. I am. That’s why you have to leave me Toji. I can’t stand my reflection. I am so selfish-”

“Shut up. Don’t play the ‘pity me’ card. God, you really are something. The forever victim.”

You stayed quiet. In a perfect world, you would defend yourself. You would tell him that you aren’t trying to be the victim. You never were! You see that now. 

“You’re right.”

“All those fucking articles were right about you. I spent so much time, so much energy telling you they were lies. Turns out strangers know you better than I do. You are a two-timing bitch. You are selfish. You’re insatiable. Why couldn’t I have been enough for you. How the hell was I competing with the man who never loved you? And losing! You deserve nothing, you know that… You never left that room, did you?”

“W-what room?”

“That hospital room. Sure, you’re older now. You’ve been to a million places. But mentally? Mentally, you’re still in that hospital room. There is no cure for your loneliness. Face it Y/N, the problem has and always will be you. If you want to die next to your mom, be my guest. But you need to leave that room Y/N. If not for you, for your kid.”

He stayed quiet. It was your turn to speak. He didn’t want to hear you, but his patient nature told him to give you a chance. Not to defend yourself. But rather explain yourself.

“You’re right Toji. I think that’s why I always look for you. You always have the wisest things to say. And I know that. I’ve let the world pass me by. I have a void in my heart and its rotted me from the inside out. I’ll spend my entire life working for your forgiveness. And my lifetime might not be enough for that. You are everything to me. And that’s why I can’t let myself continue to poison you. I’ve changed you for the worst.”

You two sat in silence. You could hear his uneven breath. Reaching out you put hand on his shoulder. For the first time he turned to look at you. And there he saw it. Your eyes. 

Red and puffy with tears, your face for once didn’t look as haunted as usual. There was always this air of anger around you. Your shoulders were always tense. Eyebrows always furrowed. Not now. You looked younger. Instead of the anger that had clouded your eyes, he could finally see his reflection.

You didn’t look happy per se, but you looked aware. He looked at the hand on his shoulder. Even after everything he said, you were comforting him? This was the old you. The selfless to a fault Y/N. He couldn’t tell if this was a good or bad thing. 

He then noticed the mark on your forearm, already purple. In the shape of his hands. Reaching out he gently caressed the bruises, guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. You grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips. 

“Don’t worry about it. I love you Toji. Please, forget me.”

When the news broke out that you had ended your relationship, Ian did his best to remove a lot of the posts. It was hard since there were so many shots of you on the floor begging for forgiveness. If you didn’t look guilty then, now you did. Why else would you be apologizing? But you didn’t mind. Instead, you focused on removing any article that spoke badly on Toji. Especially after some pictures of you and that hand-print bruise were published. 

Fortunately, your brand had already been established. And while the coverage halted some planned promotions and runways, by the end of the month everything was normal again.

You changed your phone to a flip phone. You did your best to text Satoru about pick up times. Most often he wouldn’t respond. Instead, you would have to call Miwa. On the rare occasion that he did, you would spend the rest of the day crying. You cried so much. You couldn’t help but remember that way they both held Sachiro’s hands. The domestic life you would never provide for him. 

Often you would contemplate if you should have accepted him. Did you really love him? Or was it just easier to love him? You couldn’t trust yourself. Your mind was in ruins. You had no one. Since your change in attitude, people have become nicer to you. But you weren’t happy. And you stopped letting people get close. You even began to push away Gen and Ian. Monthly, you would meet with your dad and that was it.

Was life good? No, but it was better. You would be content if life stayed like this. But now, a year after your failed marriage, Satoru was going to prepare his own.

(Present time)

The day after receiving that message, it was published everywhere. It was the only thing articles were talking about. With the mentions of Satoru’s new marriage, you were put into the spotlight again.

The paparazzi swarmed you. Leaving your house had become difficult. They harassed you. Pushing you while demanding you answer questions. You smiled. You thanked them for their time. You would bid them farewell. It was too dangerous that you could no longer pick your son up. Not that you minded. You didn’t want to see how happy they were. Not until you were done healing at least.

You spent the weekend doing everything Sachiro wanted. Breakfast in bed? Of course. Quick trip to the local festival? Duh. Building a fort? Obviously. 

By the time Sunday night came he was so tired. All he asked was that you sing to him before his dad picked him up. Now you sat with Sachiro’s head on your lap. Normally, a bodyguard would meet you at your door and take your son downstairs as to not garner attention. 

As soon as the knock came, you gently laid his head on couch. Slowly you opened the door, expecting to see the normal guard.

“Thank- oh. Good evening, Satoru. Are you here to pick up Sachiro?”

He looked past you and saw Sachiro sleeping. Letting himself in, he sat on the couch and petted Sachi’s head. After moments of silence, he finally spoke up. 

“Yes, but I also came because I need to talk to you.”

Solemnly, you nodded. “I actually have something to say as well. I was planning to email it later, but if you’re here then we should discuss. Would you like anything?”

Satoru couldn’t help but stare at you. Just a year ago, he had buried the old you. It was his fault he knew that. If you were mean and angry, it was because he made you that way. The damage was irreparable. But here he saw her again. Or at least a glimpse of her. 

Even though he didn’t respond, you still handed him a water bottle.

“Did you want to go first?” 

“Um, yes. I just... I just wanted to apologize for not letting you know. I was planning on calling you, but I got distracted. I’m sorry you had to learn that way.”

“Silly. We all flub up sometimes. I would have appreciated knowing so that I could explain it to Sachiro. Thank you for apologizing.”

Even though you were smiling, he could tell you were sad. Your eyes were distant. It was like you had detached yourself from everyone. Somehow, he already missed that angry Y/N. At least he knew what you were thinking. Now, it felt like when you two had gotten married. How you smiled every time he yelled at you. He expected you would say the “I don’t care what you do with your life” speech and spitefully kick him out. He could sleep well knowing you hated him. But seeing your smile, it felt like he was cheating again. No. No, you asked for him to forget you. This is good. You’re getting better. But is returning to your selfless self better? That’s when you suffered the most. That’s what changed you. 

You didn’t give him much time to think as you started to speak. 

“Satoru, can I ask you for a favor?”

He knew what you were going to say. This nice act can’t last forever. This was the angry Y/N he knew. 

“Can you take care of Sachiro for a couple of months? I know it’s a lot, but I have some... business to take care of. I would take him with me, but I don’t want to separate you from him anymore than I already have.”

Oh? 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take care of him. I can’t believe you had to ask. He’s my son, of course I will take care of him.”

His tone had changed. He had gotten angry at the mention of the three years. You didn’t react. You just thanked him.

Gojo enjoyed his week with Sachiro and Akemi. It felt like they had a family. This is what he wanted. Sure, you were Sachiro’s real mom, but Akemi was also kind of like a mom. He noticed how well the two got along. He sought comfort in her and laughed with her. Yes. This is good. 

Yet, he couldn’t help but think about you. 

Every time Sachiro offered the first bite of his food to him. Every time Sachiro defended the annoying people at the mall. Every time Sachiro smiled, Satoru saw you. Yes, Sachiro looked exactly like him, but everything about him was you. It was all you.

His heart almost broke when he saw Sachiro singing to his stuffed animals. 

“Hey munchkin. BedTIME!” He joyfully grabbed Sachiro and swung him around the room. Instead of laughing, Sachiro began to pout. 

“No playing at bedtime dada. No”

“Oh, my bad Sachi.” He was a replica of you. 

Satoru sat on the bed as Sachiro headed to the bathroom, pulled out his step stool and began cleaning his face. After finishing his regiment, he waddled back into the room and settled himself into bed. 

“Is dada going to read me a story?”

“Can I sing to you instead munchkin?”

“Hmmm… no thank you dada.”

“Aww you’re a meanie! Um, but actually I need to talk to you about something serious.”

“Mhmm”

“You like Akemi, right? Dada likes her a lot. But it’s very important that you like her.”

“Yesh! Akemi is nice!”

He knew that this was wrong, but he had to ask. “Do you ever think Akemi could be like momma?”

Immediately tears sprouted from the boy’s eyes. He started frantically grabbing and throwing some of his toys. 

“NO! Mommy is Mommy! No one else is mommy! I hate Akemi! I hate her! I want mommy! Mommy!!”

Sachiro was screeching. Gojo was thankful that Akemi was in another room. She really did love Sachiro, and it would have broken her heart to hear him say that.

He held Sachiro close, trying to console him. “Shhh, baby. Daddy didn’t mean that ok? No one will replace mommy. Mommy is all yours.” Sachiro cried until his tears tired him out. No, I can’t tell him. Not today. Maybe Y/N should tell him instead. Sorry Y/N. I’m using your selflessness again. 

Soon enough the week ended, and he passed him back to you. Instead of showing up in person, as he did last time, he sent the bodyguards to take him. He was being cowardly, he knew. But he couldn’t risk Sachiro hating him. It’s your fault their relationship is so weak. It should only be right that it’s your job to explain everything to Sachiro. Right?

Satoru: Hey, I tried to tell him about me and Akemi. He didn’t respond very well. Could you explain it to him?

You almost rolled your eyes at the message. You were being punished. You knew that. But you responded with a simple ‘Ok’ anyway. 

Switch offs happened at night to make sure that each parent spent the majority of the day with Sachiro. You and Sachiro headed to the bathroom and completed your nightly routine all while dancing and occasionally teasing each other. This is what you lived for. Yes, you were lonely all the time. But you weren’t lonely with him. He was your reason to exist. It was going to hurt you being away from him for so long. But this would be good for everyone. This would be your last act of selflessness. This would atone for every bad thing you did.  

By the time you cleaned up all the splashed water, Sachiro was already in bed ready for his song. Instead, you sat on the floor. 

“Hey star boy, I need to talk to you. It’s going to be serious, ok?”

As soon as you finished the sentence, he burst into tears. Hugging you close he shook his head in a no motion.

“NO! I hate her! I hate her! She’s not mommy! Mommy is mommy! Mommy is my star and I’m her star! Not Akemi!”

Confused you held him tight. You cooed and brushed his snow-white hair back. “No Akemi won’t replace me baby.”

He pulled away to look up at you. “Daddy asked me! He asked me if Akemi could be mommy! I said no!”

You sighed dejectedly. This is why it didn’t go well. Your son was naturally altruistic. He would have understood and accepted had Gojo explained everything normally. But it seems that Gojo had made a selfish request. Why is it always my job to clear up Satoru’s name? Why can he be selfish and be the victim, but I can’t? No! No, I can’t think that! I’ve been selfish my whole life! Satoru is a victim. This will all be solved soon…

“My star, he didn’t mean it that way. Listen to me Sachiro. Me and you are a family, right? Me and you were also part of Toji’s family. Sometimes, when you love someone, you can add them to your family. Mommy messed up with Toji, and I’m no longer part of their family. But Satoru has someone he loves. Is it ok for her to join our family?”

You had dumped a lot of information on him. It took a second to process everything. 

“So, we aren’t family with Toji?”

“I’m not baby. But you will always be, ok. That’s how love works. They love you a lot.”

“Are you and daddy family?”

“Yes, we are. You make us a family.”

“But does mommy love daddy?”

You were stumped. This is probably why Satoru didn’t want this conversation. So, you answered honestly.

“Yes, mommy loves daddy.”

“Then why does daddy love Akemi?”

“Love is strange, baby. Sometimes you love people more. And he loves Akemi more. Is that ok?”

He took a second to think

“I guess…”

“Thank you for being so selfless Sachiro.” You stopped to think. “But if you’re ever not okay, then you have to tell someone, ok? Its ok to be selfish too.” You were just projecting, but you knew it was important for him to hear that too.

“Ok?”

“Speaking of being selfish… Mommy is going away for a couple of months.” As expected, he started bawling. He started kicking and throwing. He was loud. He was angry. He was betrayed

“NO! NO! Mommy can’t go! Mommy can’t leave me! She can’t! I’ll be a good boy I promise! I’ll eat every veggie! I won’t cry anymore! Mommy can’t leave!! It’s Akemi’s fault! Her fault! That’s why mommy cries so much! Its daddy too! Mommy never cried!”

You started crying too. All those times you thought you hid your tears he saw. He saw everything. This was the worst-case scenario. You had to leave. You couldn’t let him see you like that anymore. You had to leave that hospital room. Toji was right.

You held onto him. Even when he began to hit you. Even when he rubbed his snot over you. You waited until he calmed down, Silent tears were streaming down his face.

“Can we go back to New York mommy? I hate it here. Daddy is mean to mommy. Mommy cries all the time. Mommy is lonely and sad while Daddy is happy. It’s not ok.”

You wiped his tears away. 

“Sachiro, don’t say that. Mommy is paying the price for being bad. Daddy deserves to be happy. He loves you so so much. Please forget everything bad, Sachiro. Daddy wasn’t mean to me. If he was, I wouldn’t let you stay with him, right? Mommy isn’t lonely. She has you. Mommy will never be sad as long as Sachiro is here. You’re like my superhero! Mommy is struggling and she needs to fix some stuff so she can be a better mommy for you ok, baby? None of this is your fault. I have to go, but I promise you, this will be better for you and for me. I promise with my whole heart. The second I get everything sorted out, I’ll pick you up. This hurts me too, baby. But I need to be a better mommy for you. None of this if your fault. Don’t you ever think that. Hey, to help my little star, I have present for you.”

You stood up and presented him with a white, sleek box. It had beautiful light blue ribbon on it. He held it but refused to open it. 

“I even got myself a present so we could match!”

You pulled out your own white box. Seeing that you both had a present, he was more willing to open his. It was a phone. You had a matching one. You really didn’t want another phone, as you were content with the flip phone you already had. It made ignoring all the evil things people said about you a lot easier to manage. 

“When mommy’s gone, we can call each other all the time. I’ll respond to every text. I’ll answer every phone call. I promise. I won’t be gone for long. But I’ll text you so much you’ll wish I was.”

This garnered a small giggle from him. 

“Don’t worry baby, we have the rest of the week. We’ll do everything you want.”

He nodded glumly. He wasn’t too happy, but he felt a lot better knowing he could reach out to you. 

You slept with him. Holding him close, you did your best to treasure these moments.

When Sunday night finally came, you asked Satoru to pick him up personally. This was a big change, even if it was temporary. You wanted Sachiro to be as relaxed as possible. You and him sat on the couch. You had packed a bunch of his valuables and even some pictures so that he wouldn’t feel so lonely.  He was again on your lap, fighting to stay awake as you ran your fingers through his hair.

The serene moment was disrupted by the loud knocks coming from the door. Expecting to see Satoru you opened the door, only to see Akemi there. You did your best to keep your smile. It wasn’t that you hated her. No, she was your friend at one point to. But an evil part of you knew you could never forgive her. Not for dating Satoru, but for choosing him over your friendship. You told her everything, but because she never experienced it, she could ignore it. That is selfish.�� As if you can critique others for being selfish. 

You welcome both of them. Sachiro already stood up, holding the blanket closely. He refused to look at his dad or Akemi. His eyes were already brimming with tears.

Bending down to his level, you caress his face. “It’s ok to cry, my star. But before you do, I have a gift for you.”

Reaching behind the couch, you presented him the light blue bunny you had made. His eyes widened and he squealed in joy Running to hug it he struggled opening the locket. One he did, he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face. He ran and hugged your knees. 

“Whenever you miss mommy, give that bunny a big hug, and I’ll feel it. Have fun with Daddy. You must be a good boy. Call me whenever you want, but I promise to call you every day. Mommy just needs to get some work done and then everything will be back to normal ok?”

After a couple minutes of holding each other, he finally walked over to where Satoru was. He raised his hands asking to be picked up. 

“Thank you, Satoru. Thank you, Akemi. I trust you two will take wonderful care of him.” You bowed at a 90-degree angle. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you leaving?” You hadn’t spoken to Akemi in a while. For a couple months, she stayed employed with you. Yet, after your official break up with Toji, she immediately resigned. You always wondered if she thought you did it because of Satoru. 

Smiling gently you respond, “I’m sorry, I can’t say. It’s nothing crazy, I promise! I just need some time.”

“It’s not because of…”

“Goodness no! I know I haven’t been the most supportive. I’ve been downright awful. I hope both of you forgive me for how I acted. It was selfish and attention seeking. I don’t expect any special invitation, but please know that I support this relationship. I’m glad you two found each other. Truly”

Satoru almost flinched at the words you used. The guilt of you actually believing all the nasty things he said to you weighed heavy on him. He almost regretted bringing Akemi here. If she wasn’t, he would have consoled you. Even if it only would have been a hand on your shoulder. 

The worst part about hearing you subscribe to all his insults was seeing the honesty behind it. You did think you were a terrible person.

Before either of them could say anything, you started ushering them out. 

“You guys must head out now! Sachiro still needs his night routine. He has school tomorrow, and he’s already stayed up so late. If you guys feel like he’s too tired, I don’t mind if he doesn’t go. It’s your call. Thank you both for everything!”

You nearly pushed them out of the apartment. As soon as that door closed, you broke down. This was going to be one of the hardest things you’ve done. But you had to do it. 

Nearly two months have passed. Satoru relished every second he had with his son. He has never felt more like a family than he did now. Everything was perfect. 

If it weren’t for the bunny he carried everywhere. Or the fact that Sachiro couldn’t do anything without having to send his mom a text. Sending a sleepy blurry selfie was more important than getting dressed. He would facetime you every night before going to sleep. There were times where he even ignored Satoru in lieu of sending you a selfie with a filter on top of it.

Satoru heard and saw more of you now, than he did in the last year. 

Even Akemi was getting a little frustrated. 

Yet, Satoru wasn’t just frustrated. He felt guilty. Your presence at the house had become so abundant, that he would often stay in Sachiro’s room just to hear you sing. He did his best to mind his business, but in the cases where he saw the silly selfie you would send back. It would plague his mind for the rest of the day. 

From the few glimpses he got, he could tell that something was changing. You weren’t in the office, or in any modern building it seemed. You were a lot livelier. You were happier?

How could a mom be happier away from her child? He would nearly scoff out loud at the thought. Maybe this was your way of giving him full custody? No there was no way. 

The next day, after sending Sachiro to school, he headed to the office. It was a usual day. He was glad he was able to save the company. He really was going to lose all this over you? No. He loved you. And you didn’t love him. But Akemi did. And his workers needed him.

As he continued working, suddenly Miwa and Nanami both presented themselves. Miwa was always easy to read. She was skittish and nervous. Nanami, on the other hand, was harder to read, but he could tell he was a little unsure as well.  “Nanami! Miwa! What bring you in here? I reviewed my schedule already. Is there something I missed?”

Miwa cracked first. “Um... Mr. Gojo, have you been in contact with Ms. Y/N recently?”

“She calls Sachiro nearly every day. Did something happen?”

“Well, have you been in contact in the last hour?”

“Miwa may you please get to the point?”

Nervously, she looked up at Nanami. Sighing and pushing his glasses up, he handed Satoru the iPad. “None of this means anything. And if something did happen, it is not your responsibility. It’s just rather strange.”

Gojo looked over the screen. In big bold letters there it was:

Y/N STEPS DOWN FROM HEARTS COMPANY. 

Y/N SELLS OVER A MILLION IN STOCKS

HEARTES INTRODUCES NEW CEO AND CREATIVE DESIGNER

Y/N RESIGNS FROM COMPANY

Y/N’S APARTMENT UP FOR SALE?!

Gojo looked at the headlines frantically. He knew what all this was implying. Yet, he needed verification. He couldn’t fathom the thought that you would have… No there’s no way. You have Sachiro. You wouldn’t do this.

“Um... what exactly does this have to do with me Nanami?”

“It means nothing. It seems that Y/N has done some irrational choices that garnered some attention from the media. That’s all this is. Unfortunately, you know how convoluted your history is with her. Some people might assume that since she’s acting out in such an illogical and hysterical manner, that she may be going through a manic episode. A manic episode that may precede…” Nanami couldn’t finish the sentence. 

His heart was beating. No, there’s no way you could be gone. No. No. You made a promise! You promised to return for Sachiro. Right Sachiro. That’s why Gojo is feeling so bothered and anxious. He’s worried for the mother of his child, that’s all. 

“I think… I think I’ll head home. If she has been in contact with anyone, it would be my son. Thank you for letting me know.”

As he made his way to the car, he couldn’t help but speed. He needed to make sure you were ok... for the sake of Sachiro.

On the way, he received a phone call from Akemi. Normally, he would have pulled over and answered her. But not today. He drove, breaking most speed laws all the way home. He barely turned his car off as he rushed the door. Yet, as he got to the door, he found a box. It was for Sachiro Gojo. Without hesitation, he looked at the sender’s address in the corner and typed it in. It was a two-hour drive, but he didn’t care. This box didn’t prove anything. You must have sent it days ago. If you had planned to do this all at once that meant only one thing. You were planning to commit. There was no other option. With only this one mission fueling him, he unknowingly kept ignoring Akemi’s calls

After an hour and a half of driving, Gojo started to notice his surroundings. This was an older city. There were multiple shrines and elders. There were very few cars. A lot of cats.  This was weird. He continued following the GPS. He passed the city and made his way up the mountainous region. By 5 pm. He had reached an isolated house on top of the hills. The land was relatively flat once he got up there. There was an impressive house. It looked new. The house wasn’t a mansion, but it was still large. The lights in what he assumed the kitchen were on. Hesitantly, he knocked.

Soon enough someone opened the door. No, not someone, you did

There stood you. You looked younger, happier, kinder. Unlike last time, your happiness didn’t feel like a mask. It felt genuine. He couldn’t marinate in his confusion as you grabbed his hand and pulled him in. 

“Hi Gojo! I’m shocked to see you here! Come in! Let me get you a lemonade. It must have been a long drive.”

You sat him down on your couch. He couldn’t help but think about that mansion. The one where you were supposed to start and raise a family. This one was a lot cozier, with the architecture of it being rounder in a way. It felt like a cottage despite its massive size. There were a lot of plants. On the walls were framed pictures. Mostly of Sachiro. A lot were ones he’s never seen. There were a lot of selfies of you two. And hidden between all of them was that Disneyland photo. It was when he had amnesia. When he thought you were cheating. Before he knew of all your lies. That instantly ruined his mood. 

Placing a coaster, you set his drink down. He couldn’t help but notice that the coasters were made with images of Sachiro’s drawings. 

“The lemonade is rather tart since the lemons are homegrown. So, I went ahead and added a bit of sugar. But here’s some more if you like. I don’t know if you still have the same sweet tooth. So, if I put too much sugar, let me know! I’ll get you another cup!” You set down a jar with sugar. You were so talkative. The last time you spoke this much with him was when you were kids. 

He didn’t move. Noticing his discomfort, you kept talking. “I was going to call you tomorrow. But I’m glad to see you. Did you come alone?”

“Y/N, I thought you committed suicide.”

You deflated slightly. Somberly you looked around the room. With a gentle smile, you looked at him. It was like you had puppy dog eyes. He could get lost in them. It had been a year since he was attracted to you, but he couldn’t help but want to lean closer to you. To breathe your air. He stopped himself in time

“It all happened kinda fast right? I was hoping that by doing it all at once, it would be like ripping the band aid off, y’know? People are bound to talk, so instead of doing it slowly and reigniting interest in my life every couple of weeks, I thought it would be easier if I just made one big splash and let the water settle from there.”

It felt like he was in a different dimension. You spoke so casually to him. It almost felt like he was the weird one. In disbelief, he stayed quiet.

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “Honestly, I did plan to. To commit suicide, I mean.  So, I guess you weren’t completely wrong.”

He stared at you. How you casually admitted to your suicidal ideations.

“What? You can’t be the only one to be suicidal right?” You joked, hoping to ease the tension. It did the exact opposite. 

“Y/N I need you to fucking explain everything. No jokes”

Your gaze hardened. “Gojo, you do not disrespect me in my house. I have welcomed you because you are my child’s father, but I will forbid you from coming here again if you speak to me like that again.”

He remained silent but nodded. It was weird. You definitely had grown a backbone since he last saw you in your apartment. Just a couple months ago, you looked like the submissive, docile, doormat you once were. But now? Now you confident and strong without sacrificing your trusting and selfless nature. You were a perfect blend of your youth and your experience. 

“This is my way of asking for forgiveness. From everyone. I’ve done a lot of awful things. Since that New York trip, I became vindictive. I became evil. I didn’t know why. How could I be jealous that the man I encouraged to move on moved on? I was changing Satoru. I had thought that being mean and cold was a way to protect myself. But in reality, I had gotten worse. I couldn’t stand my reflection. Then, I saw you Akemi and my star at the store. You remember right? With the pink bunny? You all looked so happy. It was the life Sachiro deserved. I went home and saw myself. Really saw myself. I couldn’t recognize who that person in the mirror was. Since then, I was determined to seek forgiveness from everyone I wronged. My first thought was to kill myself. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to my star. Even now, I find myself fantasizing about just jumping off that cliff… I even planted flowers there so whenever Sachiro visited, he would feel safe. But I can’t. That’s why I have all these photos and drawings of him. If I keep thinking of him, I’ll never have time to contemplate killing myself.”

Gojo couldn’t stop his eyes from watering. He almost reached out to grab your hands. He closed his hands harshly, forcing himself not to move. “But Y/N... you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, you have done wrong. But we all have. You shouldn’t have to punish yourself for existing.”

Always and empath, you leaned forward and placed a cute octopus squishy in his hands. He quietly accepted it, showing the indents his nails made on palm “You don’t want to accidentally cut yourself. I learned that a little too late.” You laughed gently as you showed him your own palm. There were small scars in the shape of your nails. 

Holding the squishy in one hand, he used the other hand to inspect your hand. They were different. It was obvious that you still took care of your hands: soft, supple, perfect nail beds, trimmed nails. But upon further inspection, he could see multiple scars littering your fingers. His gaze drifted upwards to your forearm. There he saw some bigger scars. Some still scabbing. He could feel his own scar throb at the memory of the pain. Gojo couldn’t stop himself as some tears fell out. He couldn’t stop himself from tracing their outline.

“Why- why would you do this? You were alone the whole time? Then why? Y/N I don’t understand you? You were going to…”

He was interrupted by your melodious laughter. You pulled your hand away. “You’re too sweet Gojo. No. No these aren’t what you think they are. It’s just some office mistakes. I jumped into my work to fill that void of loneliness. But you know, it’s pretty dangerous to be handling sharp rotary cutters when you haven’t slept for days.” 

Grabbing his hand, you pulled him up. “Let’s go for a walk!”

Leading him to the back door, her couldn’t help but stare at your interlinked hands. The tips of his ears turned pink. He felt so young right now. No. No I can’t think like that. 

The back yard was like a Ghibli fantasy forest. It had plenty of lush green plants and flowers growing everywhere. In a corner there was a cute gazebo with two easels ready. One noticibly smaller than the other. There were plenty of trees a reasonable distance from the house. They provided a nice area of shade. Some grew peaches, others grew limes.  A stone path led to another corner where a sand pit was already set up. The entire perimeter was protected with a gorgeous white fence. Tall enough that Sachiro wouldn’t be possible to scale it. There was one exit. You headed there still holding Gojo’s hand. Typing in a security code, the door opened, and you headed into the forest. After a 5-minute walk, the forest cleared and presented a cliff side. Undoubtedly it was gorgeous. The ocean was beautiful. Flowers and clovers surrounded the area. 

He didn’t realize how much time had passed until he saw that the sun was setting. You let go of his hand and sat down, resting your head on your knees. You always had that curious habit of returning to a fetal position. Settling next to you, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at you. You looked ethereal. With the sun in your face, the wind in your hair. There was a gentle smile playing on your lips as you stared at the ocean. 

“Gojo…”

He couldn’t help but squish the little octopus. He didn’t know why it hurt him to hear you call him only by his last name.

“I disagree with what you said earlier. I should be punished for my existence. I’ve done nothing good. Born into a life of luxury, and I still managed to want more… When Toji broke up with me, he told me something very valuable. He told me that I was stuck in my mother’s hospital room. That I never left. And he’s right. Ever since my mom died, I became a walking corpse. I cursed myself with eternal loneliness. And yet, I so wanted to fight that loneliness. So when my father mentioned the marriage, I was ecstatic. Although we haven’t spoken in years and you refused to answer any messages I sent, my loneliness convinced me that you wanted it. I mean technically you did, but you didn’t really want it. I wonder, if I had never accepted that proposal, would you still be with Sera? Would any of this happened?”

The wind filled in for Gojo’s silence.

“My selfishness blinded me. I so badly wanted to be loved that I ignored any sign of resistance. Even when you told me that I would never compare to her, I wanted you to change for me. How pretentious. Had I just given up, then maybe you wouldn’t have thought that you loved me. When you couldn’t vanquish my loneliness, I searched for it in Toji. I abused his friendship just so that I wouldn’t be alone. When I figured out the real reason you married me, the reason you bought that house, the betrayal. That almost killed me Gojo. Imagine that. Even at my lowest I couldn’t stop seeking attention. I put myself over you, as usual. I lied and kept you from your child. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. It was okay that you didn’t love me. As long as you loved our child. But no selfish Y/N strikes again. Then, even though I knew I wasn’t ready, I still accepted when Toji proposed. I’m a monster. Just a year ago, I almost lost it. I was becoming unrecognizable Gojo. I couldn’t look at you and Akemi without getting angry. How was it fair, that I had to go through months of humiliation, which in hindsight, I did deserve, just for her to get the perfect boyfriend. I cried for months before you even held me. The first time we had sex, I had to beg you to kiss me. I hated her and I hated you. But that’s not your fault. Nor is it her’s. It’s mine. If I wasn’t so selfish and I didn’t think you loved me then none of this would have happened. I ruined so many lives because I couldn’t see past myself. If I didn’t use people to fill this abyss I have in my heart, I wouldn’t have caused you to almost commit suicide. I wouldn’t have taken Sera’s boyfriend from her. I wouldn’t have wasted Toji’s time. I wouldn’t have hurt your mom. None of this would have happened. I should have stayed in that hospital room. I should have asked them to bury me with her.”

You were crying now. Your hands shaky as they gripped tighter. You were curling in on yourself, wanting to disappear. 

“If I hadn’t been so awful, Sachiro wouldn’t have seen me cry so much.”

Gojo’s heart broke. All those lies. All those insults. You believed them. No. No you weren’t selfish. You were the opposite. You always put other above yourself, even if it hurt you. Of course, you’ve committed your share of sins, but never maliciously. You were too trusting, too eager to please. And to think he didn’t love you? That nearly shattered him. He may have moved on, but the love he had for you was real. Even though he may have forgotten how to love you: even though he may have abused you: even though he didn’t deserve to love you, he has never stopped loving you since you were young. 

He reached out a hand to soothe your back as you hiccupped through your gentle tears. You had a special charm that made everything you did look beautiful. But he paused seeing how stunning you were despite the tears on your face. He almost kissed you. But he didn’t. Not because he held himself back, but because he saw your eyes. 

As you stared into the ocean, your eyes changed from their vulnerable and kind state to a detached, disconnected gaze. Almost like you were hypnotized by the sea. The waves calling you. It was the same gaze he had when he was suicidal. 

“After seeing you at the store, I realized that I needed to atone for my sins. I needed to seek forgiveness. That night was actually the night I realized I needed to commit suicide. Not to ease my own pain, no that’s a selfish reason. I wanted to commit suicide so that everyone’s bad thoughts, everyone’s problems, and every bad thing I did could die with me. If everyone took turns spitting on my grave, I wouldn’t mind. As long as I was no longer causing problems, it would have been worth it. I spent the whole night making a new stuffed animal for him. I cut myself a lot by accident, but I didn’t mind. That was going to be his last gift. My existence is a mistake. Me dying would be a gift to the world.”

“And?”

“And I clearly decided not to. I owe my life to Sachiro. As long as he needs me, I will live for him. I want to die, Gojo. I want to give everyone the life they had before they met me. I want everyone to be happy again. But I can’t. Because I have my little star. I’m evil Gojo. I’m a black hole. I pull people in, only to destroy them. I’m afraid one day I might do that to him too.”

You turned to look at him, tears streaming down your face. 

“It kills me to know that one day I’ll hurt him too. But he loves me so much. He fills the void in my heart. I’m not lonely when I’m with him and I know its selfish, but the way he looks at me... The way he looks at me almost makes me think I’m a good person.”

Gojo continued staring at you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Hearing you talk about yourself this way hurt him immensely. It almost felt like he was drowning. No, you didn’t get better. None of your problems were solved. You just learned to live with them. 

You leaned close to Gojo. The honesty in your eyes almost scared him. “Gojo, if you ever notice that Sachiro is suffering being with me, I need you to tell me. The second I start poisoning him, I’ll kill myself.”

The conviction behind your words paralyzed him. You two sat there for a minute. He didn’t know what to say. He knew what this felt like. He knew the exact emotions you were drowning in. But he couldn’t help but think that you were a lot worse. You have begun to hate your entire existence. You had no one. The amount of self-hate you had was shocking. 

After a couple minutes of silence, you wiped your tears away. Standing up you offered your hand to him. 

Looking at you now, it felt like he was in an alternate dimension. One where he confessed when he was younger. One where he never met Sera. One when he got on a knee and properly proposed. And he almost believed it. Just as he reached to grab your hand, he finally noticed how his phone was ringing. Looking down he saw Akemi’s number. He looked at you apologetically. You smiled kindly and continued to offer your hand. As his bigger hand enveloped yours, he imagined pulling you in close and kissing you in the sunset. Just like the romance novels you loved. As soon as he stood up, though, you released his hand. Walking past him you headed back to you house. 

You were giving him privacy. He was at crossroads; stay here and answer the phone or chase after you. All those times he didn’t. Maybe he should this time. No. He’s going to get married. He’s made his choice. And like usual, he didn’t chase after you. 

He spent some time with Akemi on the phone. He explained the entire situation to her. He omitted everything you told him, though. That was for him only. He calmed her down and promised he would be home by the end of the night.

Walking back to your house, he smelled the pasta you used to love so much. You only ever cooked it for him once. He saw you humming as you stirred the pasta with the sauce. 

“Y/N, I’m going to head out now. Akemi is worried. You should call your family too. They’re probably worried too.”

You turned to him. You looked like a picture-perfect housewife with the apron you had on. You hummed in agreement. 

“They already know, but thank you for the suggestion. It was nice seeing you. Would you like some food to take for the trip?”

He should say no. There’s no way to explain leaving work to spend the whole day with your ex-wife to your fiancé. Much less if he brought food with him. 

“Sure.”

You packed it into some cute tupperware. It had little duckies on the lids. He just realized how much you changed financially as well. Besides the large house, one would never assume you came from wealth. There was very little name brand stuff. A lot of the decorations were local. 

Noticing his curious gaze as you handed the Tupperware to him, you giggled.

“If we see each other again, feel free to ask any questions. We’ve both changed a lot. I hope next time you talk a bit more. I kinda hogged the whole conversation today huh?”

You walked him to the door and waved him goodbye. 

He spent the next two hours just re-living that time. Already he missed being in your house. He could already imagine you, him, and Sachiro painting outside or going to the local city for festivals. Despite all the heartbreaking things you told him, all the awful things you thought of yourself, you managed to make a sanctuary. It was always in your nature to find the silver lining in every circumstance. You obviously needed a therapist. But a selfish part of him was glad that he was your confidante. As far as he was concerned, only he knew of how you felt, where you lived, why you did what you did. It was like you were still his.

As soon as he recognized these thoughts, he pulled over. There is no way he can think like that. No that would be unfair to Akemi. He’s already hurt you so much. He pushed you to the point of trauma. He changed you. Even now, the scars of hos he treated you were present. Everything you thought was because he had told you it at one point. No. He couldn’t do all that to Akemi either. 

Grabbing the cute Tupperware with the pasta, he almost threw it out. 

Instead, he took a second to look at it. It was two big ducks and little baby one. You had used a ribbon to tie some utensils on the top. Everything your hands made had some care and love imbued into it. Opening it, he aggressively ate it all. It was delicious, as expected. While he ate, he started crying. Why? Why did seeing you like that hurt him so much? Why did he use Akemi’s name instead of calling her his fiancé? Why didn’t he hold you as you cried? Why do you use his last name? Why?

He drove home that night. He kissed Akemi before she could even greet him. She immediately melted into the kiss, even if she was still peeved at being ghosted the whole day. He playfully pleaded for her to forgive him. He smiled. He laughed. But for some reason her couldn’t look her in the eyes like he used to. A part of him wished it was you he was holding. 

He went to Sachiro’s room. It was messier than usual. He noticed a bunch of crocheted toys he had never seen before. I guess that’s what was in the box. He reached his son, and he stopped to stare at him. Sachiro was holding two things as he slept. The bunny, per usual, but also a note. In big letters Gojo could make out Momma’s Ready! Sachiro was still learning to read, so you hadn’t written much. Still, just seeing those two letters had excited Sachiro so much that he slept with it. On his little tummy laid the phone. Close to dead, Gojo picked it up to charge it. There he saw that Sachiro had been listening to a video you recorded of yourself singing to him. Oh right. Since you had spent the whole evening with Gojo, you couldn’t call Sachiro. 

For a reason Gojo couldn’t explain, he sent the video to his own phone. He plugged the phone in and walked out of the room. 

Akemi had already headed to their own room. Before Gojo could, he had to organize some stuff.

“Hello, I know its late. I’m just letting you know not to pick up Sachiro tomorrow. I’ll handle the drop off.”

Gojo had to see you. Just for answers. He just wanted you to explain yourself. That’s all

At least that’s what he told himself. But when he slept that night, he dreamt of living in that house with you. He dreamt of cooking breakfast for Sachiro and you. He dreamt of a world where you were his. 

#gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojou satoru x reader #oneshot

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | eleven.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 4.1k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, a little look into mrs. pak and oc's relationship at work, mentions of cancer, flashbacks - one is just a random little moment with friends and the other is more oc x minho centered.., oc x san content, most of this is centered on oc's feelings 🥺

"So, are you seeing your friend today?" Mrs. Pak turns to you while you stand at the register, smiling as she puts a small bouquet together next to you.

"San?" She nods. "Yes. We're just going to eat and catch a movie."

"Sounds like a date?" You giggle.

"Nooo." You elongate your response. "We're just friends, Mrs. Pak."

"Have you guys hung out before?"

"Every now and then, we'd see each other for a meal or to walk around. Nothing too extravagant." You chuckle. "We talk almost everyday."

"That's sweet. Do you enjoy his company?"

"I do. He's very nice. I feel comfortable around him, and I feel like that's been hard for me post-accident." You look at her. It hasn't been long since you've started working with Mrs. Pak, but she was easy to confide in. You opened up to her about your accident, losing your mom and not remembering those details— losing every bit of you and not remembering things before the accident. You told her you felt like you were finally settling in in this world, this new chapter, new reality. It's been very difficult, but you were starting to feel comfortable and at ease.

The same thing goes for Mrs. Pak, as she's had help come and go in the shop. But, she's never felt so.. content and happy with your presence. You could simply walk into the room and Mrs. Pak feels like she'd never be alone. For awhile, she's felt alone— especially after she suddenly lost her husband to cancer.

But now, you're here and she feels better. Happier. More alive.

And she's not sure how you do it, but she is grateful. She is grateful you are helping, she is grateful you care. She is grateful you are here.

"That's good, no? It's important that you surround yourself around good people." You smile.

"Yeah. I agree."

"What if he likes you?" You raise a brow and shake your head with a small giggle. "I mean of course, you can always be friends. But, what if?"

"Then, I'm not so sure. He's very sweet. I just don't think—" You let out a breath. "I don't know—" Pause. "Maybe I'm not ready?" But, before you can follow up with an explanation, Mrs. Pak is jumping in.

"I don't think it's that, love. I think you'll be ready when the right time comes." She smiles. "I think you have your mind set on someone else." You blush.

"W-what? No." 

"I can see it in those lovely eyes of yours, dear." She giggles as you look back down to your hands, remembering the time you've been spending with your friends, with Minho— times at the studio, his café, random kick-its in the city.

Most importantly, you think about how Minho started to feel more and more like your bestfriend. But lately, he's felt a little warmer, a little closer. He looks at you a little differently, keeps you close a little differently.

Like you are his bestfriend,

Like you remind him of love— a certain memory, probably a certain form of love.

☁︎ FLASHBACK | HANGING OUT AT THE FOODIELAND NIGHT MARKET A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO

"Dude, dude, dude!" Jisung excitedly calls out. "I need to try those garlic noodles with the lobster. Ooh, and the bungeoppang?!" Jisung starts to point in every direction. "Wait, the ramen burgers—"

"Can we just make our way around?" Seungmin pushes him aside.

"Why, do you plan on eating the entire night market?" Jisung tries to be sassy with his response.

"Yeah, maybe?" Seungmin snaps back, making Chan shakes his head.

"Okay, shut up. Let's just walk." Chan starts to lead the way by walking backwards. He shoots a smile at you before asking: "What about you though, Y/N? Anything catch your eye? We'll go there first."

"Hm, I'm not sure yet. I'm kinda down for whatever." You shrug a bit, tugging at the ends of your sweater sleeves while Minho stands next to you.

"Garlic noodles it is!" Jisung says with a little dance, causing Seungmin to smack him upside the head as the group starts to make their way over to the food booth.

"Are you okay? Are you cold?" Minho looks down at you with concern.

"A bit. I probably shouldn't have left my jacket in the car, huh?" You giggle and he nods.

"Have to say Jisung was right for that one." He does a slight head tilt before he's removing his zip up and placing it over your shoulders. "Better?"

"Oh, Minho. You don't have to, you're in a t-shirt—" He shrugs.

"It's okay, Y/N. I can live." He chuckles a bit. "It's not too bad for me. I'd rather you be comfortable than not." You slip your arms into the sleeves.

"Thank you." He smiles.

"Yeah." He continues to remain by your side as the group falls in line at the first food vendor. Jisung is venting about his coworker to Seungmin and Chan, his eyes subtly falling on Minho's jacket that you're currently wearing.

"You shouldn't have left your jacket in the car, cielo." Jisung does a slight pout. "Do you need me to run back and—"

"No, it's fine! Minho's will do." You look up at Minho and he nods in agreement.

"It's fine? Why stress?" Minho furrows his brows at him, making Jisung shrug.

"Okay then. Don't come crying to me when you get cold." He points at Minho.

"Why on earth why I do that? I wouldn't, even if you were the last person here."

"Good, I don't wanna help you anyway." Jisung spits back, making you roll your eyes and shove him forward."

"Pachi, the line is moving." He inches forward with another shove from Chan.

"Why is everyone fucking pushing me today?!"

"Because we can literally lose our spot in line!" Chan says with a low groan. "I knew this was gonna be a headache." He continues to go on while him, Seungmin and Jisung stand in front of you and Minho. The line continues to move until your group is at the front, with Chan offering to pay for everyone to make it easier. 

Afterwards, the group decides to make their way around to get drinks and dessert— you opting for some sugarcane juice and bungeoppang that you'll share. You slide yourself onto the top of the picnic table, with Minho standing next to you; Jisung, Chan and Seungmin occupying the rest of the space on your opposite side. 

"This was really good." You set aside the noodles and sip on your juice. 

"See, what'd I tell you?" Jisung smiles. "So good. I think I'm gonna go around some more."

"For what?" Seungmin asks.

"I wanna try some other stuff." Jisung stands. "Anybody wanna come?"

"I'll go." Seungmin joins him.

"Pass." Chan adds. "I'm actually going to check out that booth really quickly." He points at one of the retail vendors, stretching as he stands and gets ready to head over.

"I'm good." You say with a small smile.

"Same." Minho says before sipping on his drink.

"Party poopers." Jisung says. "Cielo, text me if you want something else." You nod, watching as they turn and start to walk back towards the food booths, Chan already at the retail booth he was eyeing. 

"You sure you don't want anything else?" You shake your head and raise the bungeoppang up to Minho. 

"No, this will do me some good. Split this with me?" He nods, taking the bungeoppang as he sits next to you and makes an even split down the middle. You smile as he hands you your piece, gobbling it up quicker than expected. Minho smiles just as you finish up, wiping your hands on the napkin by the table. You miss some crumbs at the corner of your mouth, and he's suddenly having to force himself to not reach. Though, it feels like the worst internal battle and he knows he's going to lose this one the moment you look back up at him. "W-what?" You look at Minho staring at you, confused. He smiles and laughs a bit before he takes his thumb to the corner of your lip and wipes away at the lingering crumbs. You watch, blushing as he takes his thumb away and wipes it on his napkin. "Oh."

"All good."

"You sure?" You ask and he chuckles.

"I think so." He tilts his head to the side to quickly scan the other corner of your mouth. "Yeah, you're good."

"Thank you." You smile toothlessly at him and he wants to scream. God, you're so cute. Why was he such a fucking dumbass? "You're taking care of me a lot tonight."

"I'm happy to."

☁︎ END

You look down at your hands, unsure of what to say. Because Mrs. Pak is probably right— no, she is. You're just not sure what it means for you, or him. 

He is your bestfriend.

Why do you feel much more for him? 

Why do you feel connected at a much, much deeper level?

Too attached, almost.

"I hope you know that it's totally okay. But maybe, it's something you'll need to confront earlier than later. To keep your friendship with San?"

"You're right." You tell her with a small, pursed smile. "If it comes up tonight, I'll just.. be honest with him."

"It's the only way to do it, hun." You nod in agreement before shifting your attention to the couple that just walked in.

The rest of your shift goes by rather quickly, with you cleaning around the shop and helping make one last bouquet before San strolls in. He has a huge smile on his face, waving to you just as he makes his way closer.

"San, hey." You giggle as he makes it to the counter, eyeing the single roses off to the side.

"Hey! Sorry, am I bit early?" You shake your head as you wrap up the bouquet you were working on.

"No, I'm just finishing this up!" At this point, Mrs. Pak comes out from the back of the shop after rearranging the pre-ordered bouquets for tomorrow. 

"Hi." She smiles at him. "You must be San."

"And you must be Mrs. Pak." He reciprocates the smile and shakes her hand. "I've heard a lot about you! Good things."

"Oh, good. I'd hope so."

"Is it okay if I steal Y/N away for the remainder of the evening?"

"Of course." She winks at you as you undo your apron and hang it on the rack behind the counter. "Please keep her safe."

"Absolutely." He says. "It was really nice to meet you, Mrs. Pak. I hope to see you more often."

"Likewise." You bid your goodbye to Mrs. Pak, ensuring she'd be okay to close up before leaving. You throw your jacket on as you walk out of the shop, following San out onto the street— the sun heavily beaming down, giving its last burst of energy before it slowly sinks below the horizon. You quickly glance over at Sunday Morning, then shift your attention to San. "How was work today?" He asks as he leads you down to the main street.

"It was good! A bit busy, but nothing too bad." You continue to look up at him as he walks alongside of you. "What'd you do today, Sannie?"

"Hm, I worked out this morning, did some groceries and cleaned my apartment."

"Sounds like another good, productive day."

"It was. I like it when my days are good and productive." You laugh.

"So, where are we going first?"

"Well, I thought we should try out this place a few blocks down that is popular for their unagi." He smiles. "Hm, then there's Peace Piece nearby that has some good pies. I really like their drinks too."

"That sounds yummy."

"Yeah?" He laughs. "Good to know. Hopefully it'll be Y/N approved once we eat." You giggle and nod, reassuring him that you'll find any place he takes you to delicious. The walk is nice at this time of day, some streets busier than others, but it's nice. It's not long until you get to the restaurant, where San has already made a reservation to avoid the long wait. You're immediately seated in the far corner of the restaurant next to the windows, with San pulling out your chair first before settling himself in. They serve water and tea while the both of you skim through the menu, with San voicing out his recommendations and what he thinks would be good to order.

At this point, you're hungry and you agree to his plan. Everything on the menu looks amazing, and you trust San's taste.

You spend some time talking about your days and how things have been, and San has been unloading some of his work drama while you eat away. He talks about how he wants to travel again soon, but this time with JJ and their friends— whenever they all are ready and can align on schedules. Which, turns the conversation to his time away and how scary it was for him at first. San has always openly talked about being away and how different it was, but he's never really had a chance to touch up on his feelings about the entire thing. You're glad he's comfortable confiding in you, because you feel the same way. You feel like you could be honest with San, and you genuinely find a true friend in him.

As promised, he takes you to Peace Piece after since there's time to kill before the next plan. The both of you share a big, hefty slice of banana cream pie to top everything off. Afterwards, San takes you to the movies since this is the only weekend they're holding a special Studio Ghibli event. Surprisingly, you don't run into anyone you know being that the theater is located in a popular plaza.

At least to your knowledge.

Too bad Minho was around with some friends, and he does catch you with San— even though you're a good couple of feet away from him. He sees you holding onto San's arm, the two of you engaging in a lively conversation that has you laughing and smiling at him on your walk over to the movies.

And his heart breaks.

No wonder you hadn't been so responsive today. Maybe you really did like San, and Minho needed to accept it. Because he's been unfair to you before, and he'd hate to do that again. You deserved to be happy; whatever that happiness looked like to you.

He would never get in the way of that.

"Dude let's just go to the restaurant down the street, I'm hungry." Hyunjin says to one of their other friends, beginning to lead the way. "—Coming or what?" Minho barely catches onto his last question because he's too focused on watching you and San walk into the theater. It pulls him out of his thoughts enough to respond with a silent nod and a pursed smile.

Long fucking night ahead for him.

San bought two tickets for Spirited Away, selecting seats in the middle section of the theater. You plop onto the comfy, recliner chair, watching as San props his feet up and also gets comfortable. He leans over to ask if you want anything to snack on, but you tell him you'll pass as you're still feeling stuffed from dinner and dessert. Shortly after, the theater fills up and the movie is off to a start.

You're enjoying the movie so much that you miss the way San glances over at you from time to time, softly smiling at the way your eyes light up at every scene, how you're so focused and full of curiosity. Your hand rests on the middle console and San feels like such a silly little boy for even having the thought, but he acts on it anyway— resting his hand on the console right next to yours, hand slightly twitching, aching, to pull yours into his.

You don't really notice it though, at least not right now. The movie brings these small bits and feelings of nostalgia, and suddenly, you miss your friends.

Minho.

Not that San was bad company, but you kinda wish he was around.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when you feel San's hand brush over yours. You look at him and he politely asks for permission through his eyes. You give him a tiny smile and he proceeds to lace his fingers with yours. His hand is warm, and it doesn't make you uncomfortable. It feels nice, but it also doesn't feel right.

In a way where you think your hand belongs in someone else's, how your fingers are meant to be laced with another's.

Warmth felt from another's hand.

San holds your hand for the rest of the movie, even as you walk out of the theater and out to the car. He opens your door like the true gentleman he is before hopping in his seat and driving off to another location. He mentions the small beach near your house and you nod, going along with his plans since he's been great the entire night. You like spending time with San, there's no question about it.

But, you know why he wants to take you to the beach.

You know why he has that look in his eyes, you know why he looks at you the way he does.

You have to be honest, it's the only way.

Arriving at the beach, there's only a few cars parked in the lot with people walking along the sand or sitting to watch the waves under the night sky. San puts the car in park, but he doesn't get out. The car is still on, just to have the soft music playing in the background.

Thank god, it can at least fill the void when you tell him the truth.

You are nervous.

"It's so pretty tonight. The sky is so clear."

"I know, isn't it?" You lean forward to get a better view of the moon, and the way its light hits the surface of the water. "I don't remember if I used to come here often, but I hope I did. It's perfect."

"I'm sure. There's no way you'd let the opportunity pass." You both chuckle. "I.. actually wanted to talk to you about something. I figured this would be the perfect setting for it, especially before ending the night." He settles into the driver's seat before looking at you. "I honestly don't even think it's a secret anymore, but it doesn't even matter." He says with another nervous chuckle. "I wanted you to know that my feelings for you have grown." He looks at you, genuinely and truly looks at you. And it breaks your heart that you don't feel the same, that you can't be this person for San even though part of you kinda wishes you could be. "I can understand if you're not ready or anything, I don't want to rush you. But, in the amount of time we've gotten to get to know each other and hang out, I've come to care for you. A lot. We get along really well, and it's been awhile since I've felt this way with someone. Since I've felt so comfortable. And, this might sound like a stupid line but I really think you're perfect. I mean that. "

"San." You say in a gentle tone as you grab his hand and caress the top with your thumb. "You're seriously the sweetest. It's really flattering to hear that, and I'm really glad I can make you feel comfortable and everything. I really am happy that you were able to open up to me." You let out a small, shaky breath before subtly biting your lip and fiddling with your fingers. You gain more courage to look at him again, eyes wide and full of worry. But, the longer you take to respond fully, the more he begins to understand, the more he knows where this is going—

And he should've prepared for it. He should've expected it. But, it still stings a bit.

You will always be his.

You will always be Minho's.

"I—" You start but San shakes his head. "I just don't want to ruin what we built. You know? As friends. I really am grateful we've gotten close."

"You don't have to explain, Y/N." He gives off a small laugh.

"No, but, I'm just afraid. I'm.. not sure I can be the person you need me to be, San. You're amazing, you're good at everything, you're incredibly sweet—" You sigh. "I'm re-learning how to exist and I don't even know where things will take me." Truthfully, you didn't think he would be able to understand you, understand this— all of you. And you didn't want to be that pressure for him, that time-consuming, that much of a responsibility.

Because you know you will be.

"I understand." He says with a soft smile. "But, you are doing great, Y/N. Don't ever discredit yourself. You've gone through a lot and you haven't given up. Plus, look at you. You're getting back into the things that you love."

"I'm sorry, Sannie. I really am." You say, close to a whisper. "I wish I could be that person for you, but I'm still trying to figure myself out. You deserve someone who can give you their all and be present with you throughout everything and anything. I'm so sorry." You repeat.

"Don't be." He lifts your chin with his finger and gives off a tiny chuckle. "Don't be, okay?" He repeats. "I promise you everything is fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." You give him a reassuring, toothless smile. "But, Y/N?"

"Hm?" You hum.

"You should tell him." You furrow your brows at him with a slight head tilt. 

"But—"

"I can just tell." He chuckles a bit before starting the car. "I'm sure he wants to talk to you about it, too."

☁︎ FLASHBACK | THE OTHER EVENING

"Hi." You race to your phone in the kitchen after showering and getting ready for bed, noticing it's Minho on the other end.

"Hey. Sorry, didn't mean to bother." You chuckle.

"I'm just at home, Minho. You're not a bother at all. Are you okay?" He sighs and nods, even though you can't see him.

"Yeah, kinda. I'm just really tired. I wanted to drop by and hang out with you for a bit, but I can barely keep my eyes open." You look at the clock and notice how it's barely 10pm. Minho must be exhausted lately.

"It's okay. You can always swing by on other days." You plop onto your bed after shutting off your lights, though you opt to keep your christmas lights on even as you settle under the sheets.

"Yeah." You can hear him yawn a bit before shuffling in his bed. "How was your day?"

"It was alright. I just went to the pottery studio before my shift at the shop."

"Cute. What did you make today?"

"I attempted to make a Kirby planter for my succulents." You chuckle. "Keyword is attempted. I hope it turns out okay because I need to re-pot my succulents soon."

"I'm sure it'll turn out great." He smiles a bit. 

"Did you have a busy day?"

"Very."

"Why don't you sleep?" You softly ask him as you lay on your side, exhaustion slowly hitting you as well.

"Mm, I wanted to hear your voice." He responds. "I didn't get to see you so I— I thought I could at least call you and talk to you." You giggle.

"But, you're tired. Are you sure that's it?" Minho thinks about your question because no, that's not it. Not at all. He wants to tell you how much he misses you, and how much he's been thinking about you. How he wishes he can hold you and kiss your cheek, your hand. How he always gets butterflies when he sees you because he likes you— 

No, loves you.

Because he does love you.

He fucked up.

He loves you.

"Minho?" You call out for him. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"I thought you fell asleep."

"No. I was thinking about something."

"Like what?"

"Stuff." You chuckle.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I hope you know you can always talk to me about anything."

"I know. I just.. nevermind." He sighs and shuts his eyes. "I need to sort out my thoughts first, that's all."

"Hm." You hum. "Okay." It's obvious Minho is holding back from whatever he needs to say, but you will never force him until he's ready to. 

"You might hate me for it." He suddenly says, close to a whisper.

"Why would I ever do that? There's nothing wrong with sorting through your feelings." You say in a way that's so innocent and so.. caring, that his heart does flips in his chest. It aches. "I couldn't hate you even if I tried." It's this statement that makes Minho's heart officially crumble into pieces because even though it's reassuring to hear—

He knows there is a possibility you will.

"I don't know." He chuckles a bit. "I'm just tired I guess, I'm kinda going off the rails now."

"Go to sleep soon. I'll sleep too."

"Okay." He pauses. "Y/N?"

"Yes?" He pauses again. You patiently wait on the other end even as your eyes shut.

"I—" He lets out a breath. "I hope you rest well." He deflects.

"I hope you do, too. Will I see you this week?"

"You will."

"Try not to think about it too much now, okay? I don't want you to go to bed upset." You sleepily say.

"Hm." Minho hums. "I'll try to."

☁︎ END

⇢ 11.5 [cloud days]: here

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#lee know series #lee know fanfic #lee know fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #stray kids series #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids x reader #lee know angst #lee know fluff #lee know smut #lee minho angst #lee minho fluff #lee minho smut #hyunfilms: blue side of the sky

[heartfeltcierra]

Kid X Insecure Plus Sized Female (Tomboy) reader

Request-Hey Cierra! I wanted to say I love your insecure plus sized reader stories!!!!! I want to request Kid with a insecure plus sized reader who is more on the tom boyish side. Maybe she tries to impress him and it backfires or something to that extent! Thank you

AN-I have been dying to write for this man! Thank you so much I absolutely loved this idea. I really liked the way reader comes across, she is honestly a badass and I love her. Thank you @seafoamxshayde for helping me edit.

Masterlist

Word count- 8.1k

Readers thoughts are in bold and italics

Other Characters- Killer, Heat and Wire

! Contents/Warnings!

Very suggestive themes towards the end(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖), Violence, Mentions of a burning building, Mentions of weapons, Reader is a weapons specialist, Yelling, Cussing, insecurities regarding femininity and being plus sized, Reader gets humiliated in front of a crowd, Mentions of alcohol consumption, Destructive thoughts.

ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ Enjoy! -Love, Cierra

 “Get up Y/N we're about to port!” Heat shook your body, but you didn’t move a muscle. “Please wake up!”

 “Nooo, I’m sleepy~.” Your groan in your semi awake state. “Gimme five more minutes.” 

 “But you told me to wake you up no matter what.” He gives you a few more nudges. “You said you had something very important you needed to do today, remember?” 

 “I’M UP.” The sleepiness you felt moments ago was replaced by a sense of urgency. Today was the day!  “Thank you, Heat. You're so reliable.”

 “You're welcome.” You see a small blush paint his face. “Killer said to come see him in the kitchen first.” 

 “Gottcha.” Heat leaves your bedroom so you can get ready.

 You throw some comfy clothes on and walk over to your “closet”, but you just call it your mini arsenal.Instead of clothes it's filled with everything from throwing knives, swords, polearms, guns, grenades, bombs and even a few bazookas.

 “Where are you?” Your eyes scan over the insane amount of artillery. “There you are!” You smile and grab the old dagger you’ve deemed your favorite. It was also your first ever weapon. Your crush since childhood and current captain Kid gave it to you years ago saying “You need to defend yourself in case I’m not around.” And you took that to heart. You learnt everything you could about defending yourself. Gradually you dabbled into different weapons, thus creating your obsession.

 But when there is obsession, there is also vast knowledge. You are second to none when it comes to weaponry and you know how to wield just about anything like a pro. Enemies undermine you due to being a bigger girl, but your quick to show them badass comes in many different shapes and sizes.

 You can even do minor repairs to weapons with the help of your captain. He is actually the one who recently redone the handle on your beloved dagger. Kid put so much thought into the fine details. He etched your initials into the side of the handle along with his Jolly Roger, made the hand guard in the shape of a star and to top it off, made a new holster for it. Everytime you look at it reminds you why you're so in love with him. He may be a grouch, but he is your grouch. Well he’s not technically yours, yet. 

 You’ve kept your feelings for him locked away thanks to all of your insecurities. As a fighter you're confident, but as a woman..not so much. You recall a newspaper article titled “New world beauty standards.” According to it most men sailing the Grandline preferred women with hourglass bodies, petite structures, and next to no body fat besides boobs and ass. It also mentioned they preferred women who were cute and in touch with their femininity. You may not be able to change your body size or shape, but the rest of it you can learn.

 “I hope you're ready, Eustass Kid.” You holster the dagger around your thigh and head to the kitchen.

~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 “Good morning.” You walk into the kitchen to see Killer frying up something. “Whatcha making?”

 “Pancakes, your favorite.” You watch as he flips the pan like a pro. “I figured you’d want to start your day off right considering you're finally fessin up to Kid. That is if you haven’t chickened out...” Killer lays a plate of pancakes in front of you. 

 “I’m not backing down this time, as a matter of fact I'm doing it at tonight's party.” You stab your fork into the pancakes and take a big bite. “Heat told me we would be porting soon. Once we do I’m going to head into town. I need to pick a few things up….. But.”

 “First of all don’t talk with your mouth full and let me guess Y/N.” Killer crosses his arms. “You're broke.”

 “How did you know?” You furrow your brows. 

 “I’ve known you long enough to know your bad spending habits. But I hate to break it to you.” Killer sat down before breaking the bad news. “I’ve got to restock on food and other supplies, meaning I have no extra. Sorry.” Looks like I’ll have to use my back up plan.

 “That’s okay Killer.” You stuff the last bit of pancake in your mouth. “I’ll figure something out.”

 “So what exactly are you going to get anyways?” Killers' questions cause your cheeks to heat up.

 “Well I’m not really sure, but I want to do something special. I figured I’d get a makeover or something in town.” You may not have a master plan, but you're a good improviser.

 “I see. So how are you going to get the money to do that?” The masked man questions, little did he know…..

 “You're not my only piggy bank Killer.” A devious smile forms on your face. “I’ve got a red one too.”

 “What the hell did you just call me?” He may wear a mask, but you didn't need to see his face to know he was pissed. 

 “Uh.. Nothing. Hey look at the time. Gotta got. Thanks for the food!” You jump up from your chair and speed walk out of the kitchen only to run into something hard. 

 “Dammit Y/N!” You look up and see your said red piggy bank and captain giving you a not so nice look. “Watch where you're going.”

 “Oops.” You fight back the urge to snap right back at him, instead you back away and look him up and down. Admiring the view~ “Wow captain, your muscles keep getting bigger and bigger every time I see you. If I’m not careful I'll run into you one day and get sent flying overboard!” You don’t know how to flirt all that well, but you know how to butter Kid up and all it took was a simple compliment. 

 “Shut up.” He snaps his head away from your prying eyes. But judging from the red on the tips of his ears, it worked. “Anyways we are going to be dropping anchor soon. Do you have money?” No but I’m about to~

 “So funny story…” Kid rolls his eyes as you make up an excuse for your lack of cash. “And that’s why I am broke.” 

 “I should have known.” He shoots you a wicked smirk before bending down to your eye level. “You know what Y/N? You keep getting broker and broker every time I run into you.” His metallic hand grabs yours before his flesh hand drops a leather pouch in your palm. “I heard this island has some good weapons shops.” He trails off. “Just don’t go buying something stupid, got it?” 

 “Me, buy something stupid? Never!” A smile forms on your face. Maybe I should call him a ‘Kiddy Bank’. “Thank you.” 

 “Hey captain, we're dropping anchor!” You hear Wire call from the deck. 

 “Okay everyone listen up.” Kid’s voice booms. After giving the crew different tasks Kid dismisses you. Operation doll up Y/N was officially on.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 In town

 After managing to sneak away from the crew you reach the city. It was pretty large and filled with restaurants, bars and plenty of places to shop. You wander around with no rhyme or reason while trying to think of what to get or do. Out of the corner of your eye you spot a newspaper and magazine stand. 

 You look over all of the magazines until one catches your attention. The girl on the front was holding a perfume bottle with big bold letters above it that said “The Granline Beauty Insider.” You open the magazine and skim through it. It was mostly ads for different cosmetics, but it did have some helpful pointers like, “Speak softly and have good posture.” “Wear red, it’s sexy.” “Walk slowly and sway your hips; it drives guys crazy!” “Wear a pair of high heels.” “Buy lingerie.” You slam the magazine shut out of embarrassment. I doubt I’ll need that.

 After walking around and brainstorming you come up with a plan. First thing on your agenda- Buy and learn how to use makeup. You ask a local and they point you towards a cosmetics shop.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 At the cosmetics shop

 “Hello there!” The worker greets you with a wide smile. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

 “Umm yeah actually.” You look around at the overwhelming amount of makeup products. “I’ve never really worn makeup and I don’t know a thing about it.”

 “Oh I see. Well don’t worry!” The worker grabs your hand. “First things first let's find the correct foundation shade you need. Also what color theme are you going for?”

 “Red please.” 

 She ran you all over the store while giving you pointers on how to apply everything she was giving you. You made mental notes on all of the techniques she uses to make a ‘Flawless look’. 

 “I think that’s got all the basics. I’ll take this up to the register and let you look around some more!” You thank the clerk and explore the store on your own.

 A pleasant smell invades your nostrils. You follow said smell until you end up in the perfume section of the store. They have the bottle of perfume the girl on the magazine cover was holding. Apparently it was called ‘Grandline Goddess’. You spray a little on your wrist and get sent straight to heaven. According to the box the notes were flowery orchard, tropical fruit with a hint of musk. You're coming with me.

 “Is this all for you?” You nod at the clerk. “Alright, your total is 7,000 berries.” HUH?!

 “Here you go.” You hand over the cash while holding back a scream. 

 “Thank you! I hope my crash course lesson was helpful!” The clerk hands you the bag.

 “It was. Thank you so much for your help.” She waves you out as you  leave the store. “Holy crap that was expensive!” Lucky for you the pouch Kid gave you was filled to the brim, so you still have quite a bit left.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 The next mission was to find something to wear and a pair of shoes. Most of your closet consisted of sleep clothes, tactical gear and clothes that give you max mobility for fighting. And as far as shoes go you had either boots or sneakers.  

 You window shop trying to find a shop that carries your size. So far most of the shops that had anything cute didn’t carry plus sizes which was a bummer. But when you were at wits end you found a plus sized boutique and the clothes looked cute and stylish. Jackpot.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

In the boutique

 “Welcome! If you need any help let me know!” You smile at the clerk before exploring the store. It was amazing how many colors and variations of dresses they have. But one particular dress caught your attention. The shade of red matches perfectly with the makeup you bought and it was in your size. 

 “Can I try this one on?” You hold the dress up, grabbing the clerks attention.

 “Certainly, I’ll show you the fitting rooms. Right this way please.”

 ~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ 

In the fitting rooms

“I’ll be right outside, please let me know if you need help.” The clerk steps out, leaving you alone.

 You do your best to avoid looking in the mirror while undressing. It's sad how taking one look at your body could destroy everything.Your confidence, your mood and self worth could be taken away at a single glance. With a deep sigh you zip the dress up with the help of a hanger. Your fingers smooth the fabric to your body as your face the mirror. You’ve never really thought anything looked good on you, but the dress isn’t half bad. It fits just right and the magazine wasn’t lying when it said red was sexy. 

 “That dress was made for you! You look absolutely marvelous!” The clerk beams the moment you step out of the dressing room. “Do a spin for me!” You smile and spin around in circles and feel something fall off you in the process. “Oh my.” You stop and see your dagger had fallen off and into the floor. Oh crap.

 “My bad haha.” You and the clerk share an awkward laugh. “You know us girls gotta protect ourselves.” You trail off and strap the dagger back to your thigh.

 “Yeah, you're right.” The clerk relaxes. “Anyways I think I have a pair of heels that would look good with the dress. What is your shoe size?” You tell her and she disappears into the store before coming back with a box. She laid the heels in front of you. You put them on, but did not take a step out of fear. You look in the mirror and see she was right, they really tie the outfit together. But the real question was can you walk in them and not kill yourself? For better or worse you trust you can learn. 

 “I’ll take both please!”

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 By the time you got done shopping the sun was starting to set. Blue and pink hues fill the sky. You recall Kid mentioning when the sky looks like this at sunset, it was a good omen for smooth sailing. Hopefully that means tonight will go smoothly too.

 “I better head back to the Victoria.” You took a few steps before your mini transponder snail began to ring. “Hello, you have the pleasure of speaking to the one and only Y/N.” 

 “Wow, I’m honored.” Killer voice deadpans. “So change of plans. No party on the ship tonight.” Your jaw almost hits the ground at his words. “Instead Kid wants everyone to meet at the bar near the end of the town in an hour.”

 “Sounds good. I’ll see ya there.” Click. You release a heavy sigh. It was good that there would still be some form of celebration, but you hoped it would be on the ship for the sake of privacy. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this Y/N.” You mentally pat yourself on the back. No backing out.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

You rush back to the ship and start getting ready. You lay out all of the makeup you bought and start applying it. Despite never having used makeup before, you do a damn good job. Everything was blended well, your eyeshadow was symmetrical and the whole look was overall decent.

 The dress smooths over your body once more. You walk over to the full length mirror by your bathroom and check yourself out. Despite your initial worry, you feel confident and even a little sexy. But something was missing… Jewelry. You dig around in your room until you find the jewelry box you stole from an enemy ship a while back. It of course was filled with stolen jewelry. You go through it until you find something to match your outfit. A golden necklace with a red heart charm catches your eyes. Perfect.

 You put the necklace and earrings on and finish off with a few sprays of perfume. But now comes the hard part. The heels. Thankfully the heel wasn’t crazy high off the ground, but it was enough for you to feel off balance. You nearly face plant a couple times but after doing a few circles around your room you feel confident enough to walk in them.

 You almost walk out the door but remember something important. A weapon. Hopefully tonight you don’t have to use one, but with Kid and the rest of the crew, you never know what is going to happen. 

 “Let’s see. I need something to match.” You search once again and spot the perfect one. 

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 You were the first one to show up at the bar, much to your surprise. You figured you’d walk in to see Kid throwing back drinks and scaring people away. But neither him or the rest of the crew has shown up. You find a vacant table and wait for everyone else. A wave of nervousness crashes over you when you think about Kid. Will he like how I look? As if on cue the bar doors burst open, revealing the man of the hour. 

 Kid walks in like he owns the place with Killer following behind. The pair spot you and start to walk your way. Your heartbeat picks up when a pair of orange eyes land on you. With a few heavy steps, Kid was standing right in front of you. His eyes look you up and down before they stall on your face. 

 “Hey Kid, there is something I need to tell you.” You spoke in a softer tone and straightened your back up. For a moment he just stares at you. “Kid I lo-” Your cut off by Kid’s howling laughter.

 “Why are you talking like that and what the hell is all over your face?” You were absolutely floored by his reaction. “And when did you start wearing dresses? It doesn't suit you at all.” His words make your heart drop.  He let out one last laugh before going up to the bar,completely throwing you off. You clench your teeth and blink a few tears away.

 “Y/N…” Killer’s voice snaps you from your thoughts. 

 “It's fine.” You cringe at the way your voice cracks. Hold it together Y/N, you're strong.

 “Killer get over here!” Kid’s voice booms against the walls of the bar.

 “You better go before he starts trouble.” You give the masked man a fake smile. He nods before joining Kid at the bar. Part of you wants to leave so you can cry, while the other part wants to waltz up to Kid and knock his lights out for laughing at you. Crying would only destroy your makeup and punching Kid wouldn't change a damn thing. I guess I’ll stay and see how things play out.

 Heat, wire and the rest of the crew came filing in one by one. The music in the bar was loud and energetic as people hit the dance floor. Everyone not dancing was laughing and enjoying their drinks, while you sat alone, sulking like a kicked puppy. 

 “I need to find a girl to dance with.” The men sitting at the table next to you look around the room for possible takers.

 “There’s you one.” You can feel their judgmental eyes study your body as they laugh.

 “Hell no man.” You clench your fist knowing they are making fun of you. It’s most definitely not the first time it’s happened, but right now you were in no mood.

 “I have ears, you jackasses.” You shoot the men a nasty glare. 

 “No wonder you're all by yourself. Not only are you fat, but you're a bitch too.” You only smirk at the man's comment.

 “You forgot one thing.” You slowly bring the skirt of your dress up to reveal the red and gold flintlock gun strapped to your thigh. “I’m also packing.” You point your finger to each man at the table. “I have three bullets, one for each of you, with the name 'asshole' written on them.” The men look taken back, just the reaction you wanted. “And if you're wanting to find a partner so badly I can send you straight to hell, I heard the devil really knows how to dance~” Your eyes stare into their fear stricken ones as you slowly pull the gun from the holster. One by one they ran out of the bar with their tails tucked between their legs. “That’s what I thought.” You bring your dress back down. “Cowards.”

 You take a deep breath and try to not let their comments bother you, but what they said stung a little. I need a distraction. Your eyes land on the dance floor, you notice some of the crew getting down and dirty. They had gorgeous girls grinding up against them. At this rate you doubt any of them will be coming back to the ship tonight.

 “You look like you could use this.” Killer walks up and sits a drink in front of you. You murmur a thanks before chugging the whole thing down. “I’m sorry tonight didn’t go how you planned and if it's any consolation, I think you look great.”

 “Thanks Killer. And it’s okay.” You lie. It’s really not okay and you're not okay at all. You're putting up a good front at least. “I should have known, I mean it is Kid after all…” 

 “Still..” The blonde taps his fingers against the table. 

 “You know what.” You clench your fist in frustration. I need to do something. “I think I want to have a little chat with him.”

 “Okay, but I’m going with you.” You and Killer stand up from the table and walk towards the bar.

  You trail right behind Killer as he navigates the crowd. From time to time you’ve had to grab the back of his shirt thanks to the unfamiliar shoes you wore. You think of what you're going to tell Kid, how you should word it and if you’ll actually say anything at all. You're pulled away from your thoughts as you ram right into Killer’s back.

 “Is something wrong Killer? Why did you stop?” His whole body was tensing up. You tug the bag of his shirt demanding an answer. “Helllooo? Earth to Killer?”

 “Y/N, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” You could hear his voice waiver over the music. He’s hiding something.

 “Killer what’s wrong?” He didn’t answer. “Killer let me see.”

 “No Y/N, let’s just leave.” Killer turns around and tries to get you to go back, but you slip past him. “Y/N wait, don’t!” It was too late.

 Your eyes land on Kid and the two harlots in his laps. You’ve always heard the phrase “It felt like my world fell apart.” and now you finally know what the feeling behind that was. Your mouth goes dry. The world starts spinning. Shit, I did all of this for nothing.

  The stinging in your eyes was becoming unbearable. They were so beautiful, feminine, and thin. Everything you were not and everything you wanted to be. The skimpy outfits they had on showed off their perfect figures. You could already imagine the laughs you’d get if you ever wore anything like that. They were the embodiment of sexy. Something you tried to achieve tonight but failed. You were crazy to think you’d turn heads when this was your competition. But at the end of that day that's how it’s always been. You were so jealous, so full of rage and at the same time your heart was shattering. The iron wall you put up masking how you truly feel was breaking at the hinges. You finally look away, unable to handle it a second longer. 

 “Killer, I'm going back to the ship.” You feel your lip quiver as tears form in your eyes. “I don’t feel good.” You try to run from him but he grabs your wrist.

 ���Y/N, wait.” You try to shake out of his firm grip.

 “Killer I can’t watch that a second longer. I just can’t.” The last part comes out as a sob. “I don’t want to be here, for fucks sake let me go!” 

 “At Least let me walk you back.” You shake your head, company is the last thing you need.

 “No, please just leave me alone.” You pull away from Killer and run towards the door.

 You struggle to fight the crowd with tears blurring your vision. A heavy feeling was conjuring in your chest with each unsteady step you took. That was supposed to be me with him. 

 I need to get out of here. Your steps become sloppy as you try to hurry, causing you to lose your footing. You hit the wooden floor below you face first.  The crowd of people around you fell silent. You rise up on your knees and realize something was wrong. Looking down you see a trail of red fabric wrapped around a loose nail on the bar's floor. That red trail of fabric led up to your stomach that was now showing. You try to cover yourself with your hands, but nothing you could do would make their prying eyes leave your body.

  Your eyes widen in horror as the people around you start to laugh. You try to stand up but your shoe slips, sending you right back to the floor. Fingers point at you like you were a circus animal performing a trick. It was absolutely mortifying. 

 Their laughter, their shushed insults swirl in your head with the booming music. The room around you seemed to be getting larger and larger, or maybe you were getting smaller. It was all too much.

 “Here Y/N. I’ll help you get up.” You see Killer holding his hand out, but you smack it away. 

 “I don’t need pity from you!” Your yell causes the crowd to go silent. You stand up on your own and head towards the bar's exit. “I’m going back to the ship. And don’t you dare follow me.” You sling your heels off and use them to cover as much of your bare stomach as you can. You walk out of the bar barefoot and humiliated.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•

 You board the ship and head straight to the safety of your room. You throw your heels to the floor and walk in front of your mirror. The mascara left trails of black down your tear soaked face. Your makeup you worked so hard on perfecting was destroyed, along with the torn dress. The brief moment feeling pretty and confident was gone and replaced by humiliation and disgust. Your hand wraps around the necklace's gold chain before yanking it off.. I’m worthless. You let the torn dress fall to the floor. I’m nothing. You look at your naked body in the mirror. I’m just a joke. 

 “Why can’t I lose weight? Why can’t I be pretty? Why can’t I be someone else?” You yell at your reflection while clenching your fist, fighting the urge to punch the mirror. “Goddammit, I can't even stand to look at myself!” 

  The overwhelming emotions coursing through you causes your knees to give out. You slide to the floor with hands gripping your hair. Swirls of laughter entwined with your destructive thoughts. I hate you, I hate you so much.

 Purururu~Purururu~

 You hesitate for a moment, but your trembling hand reaches over and grabs the ringing transponder snail.

 “Hello?” You try to sound as calm as possible.

 “Y/N have you made it back to the ship?” You feel a pang of guilt hearing Killer’s voice remembering what you did to him.

 “I made it back, but Killer.. I-I’m.” Hot tears roll down your face. “I’m sorry for yelling at you and smacking your hand. You were just trying to help me..” 

 “It’s okay Y/N.” Killer tries to reassure you, but it doesn't work.

 “It is not okay!” Your body shook trying to fight back wails. Get a grip dammit. “I’m so sorry,I- I’m being emotional. It’s just.. I  thought Kid would have liked how I looked ya know.” You wipe your nose with the back of your hand. “I tried so hard but I wasn’t good enough. I never am.” 

 “That’s not true.” Killer growls. “Don’t say shit like that.”

 “Yes it is Killer. You saw how everyone laughed at me like I was some kind of freak. All because of my stomach showing. Did you see how many girls in the bar were walking around wearing bikinis with their stomachs out?  No one was laughing at them and you want to know why? Because they are beautiful and I am not.” Killer went quiet as if he was unable to find words to comfort you. “I’m sorry I’m having a melt down on you. This was supposed to be a fun night and I ruined it all because I wanted to tell Kid I love him.” But the love is unrequited. It’s something only you will hold near and dear to your heart, but you're also the sole bearer of its pain. “Killer, don't worry about me, go back into the bar and enjoy yourself. A hot shower should fix me right up. Goodnight.” You hang up before Killer could protest any further and head into the bathroom.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 Steam from the shower fills your small bathroom. The hot water wraps around your body in a blanket like comfort. The warmth brings back the fond memory between you and Kid.  It was when you all first set sail years ago. The ship had to be docked on a Winter Island for emergency repairs. You were used to the South Blue’s mild and warm weather. It only took 1 day of the harsh cold for you to fall ill. No matter how many layers of clothes you had on, no matter how many blankets you wrapped around your body, nothing could warm you. 

~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~

 “Here Y/N, I made you some hot chocolate.” Killer handed you a big mug. “Be careful, don’t get burnt.”

 “Thank you.” Your voice was dry and raspy from coughing. “I haven’t heard Kid yelling or rampaging recently. Is he okay?” You blew the beverage to cool it, before taking a sip. Killer’s laugh reverberated in the room.

 “Yeah he’s okay. He’s been cooped up in his workshop. Last time I checked on him he said he was about done with whatever it is he’s working on.” Killer sat on the small wooden chair by your bed.

 “Probably something to do with the ship. Hopefully we get out of here soon or I might turn into a Y/N popsicle.” You drank all of the hot cocoa down before letting out a pleased sigh.

 “We should be done soon, just rest up for now.” Killer ruffled your hair, something he always did when he was worried about you.”If you need anything let me know.”

 “Okay.” You handed the empty mug to him before he walked out of the room. 

 When you woke up next it was already dark outside. The temperature in the room had dropped even more. You couldn't wait to get the hell away from the snowy hellhole. Your ears perked up when you heard heavy footsteps approaching. You recognized the pattern immediately. The door handle turned and the door opened to reveal a very tired looking Eustass Kid.

 “Hey captain.” You gave the red head a weak smile. He didn’t say anything as he shut the door behind him. You noticed he was carrying something in his hands. He stood beside the bed and unrolled what appeared to be a blanket. 

 “Here.” He pulled the covers off of your body and placed the blanket onto your body. The fuzzy fur that lined it felt so good against your shivering form. “If you click this button it warms up.” He clicked the button and you immediately started to feel the warmth radiate from it. So this is what he’s been working on all this time.

 “Thank you Kid.” You snuggled into the blanket.  

 “Yeah, whatever.” You watched a pink blush decorate his cheeks. You opened your mouth to tease him, but started to cough instead. The force from the coughs caused your body to quake.  You pointed at the glass of water on your nightstand. Kid frantically grabbed it and held it against your lips. You gulped the water down and pulled away to take a breath.

 “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.” You never liked showing any kind of weakness, especially around Kid. 

 “It’s okay, you can’t help it.” Kid started to walk over to your bedroom door. You frowned knowing he was going to leave. But to your surprise he didn’t, instead you heard the lock on your door get turned. He kicked his boots off beside the door before he walked back over to the bed. “Move over.” 

 “Huh?” Your heart hammered in your chest as you watched him remove his jacket, followed by his shirt. 

 “Don’t make it weird. Just shut up and do what I say.” His non existent eyebrow twitched. Make it weird? You nodded your head and moved over in bed. The bed creaked as Kid’s massive body crawled beside you. Your eyes were glued to his every move as he got comfortable. He was so close that you could feel his body heat. You covered the blankets over your face to hide your giddy expression. But who could blame you, your longtime crush laid shirtless right beside you. “What the hell are you looking at!?” Kid growled out, causing you to turn away from him in the bed. I guess I made it weird.. Oops.

 “I’m sorry.” It was embarrassing as hell getting caught checking him out, but it was well worth it. 

 “Sure you are.” The hairs on your neck stood up hearing how close he was. The bed shifted as he moved until his chest was pressed against your back. He draped a muscular arm around your plush midsection and placed his head on top of yours. Your mind went blank processing what was going on, Eustass Kid was cuddling you. It was strange how small and safe you felt in that moment, like nothing big and bad in the world could get you. It was the most wonderful feeling ever and you never wanted it to end. “Now go to sleep.” You relaxed into his protective hold.

 “Roger that captain.” You yawned as you spoke. Between Kid’s warmth and the heated blanket, you were getting coxed right into sleep. You were almost there when you felt Kid gently tighten his grip on you.

 “You're okay…… You’re gonna be okay Y/N.” Kid’s voice was barely above a wispear. Your eyes shot open realizing he was saying that to reassure not you, but himself. He must think I’m asleep. “I’ll keep you warm. No matter what.” He may be terrible at showing emotions, but the words he spoke conveyed how much he cared and how worried he was about you. 

 ~~~~Flashback end~~~~

  But the warmth from that night was long gone. 

 “Why not me?” You keep replaying the scene over and over in your head. The way the girls giggled as they traced his biceps. The way they laid against his chest while giving him bedroom eyes. You could only hope he wasn’t going to bring them back to the ship, the last thing you need to hear is him screwing them all night. You feel a throb in your chest just thinking about it. You were sabotaging yourself with no end in sight. The warm shower water was long gone at this point and replaced by the cold. 

 “I thought you said you would keep me warm? What a fucking liar.” 

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 Meanwhile at the bar..

 “I would but the bar is on fir.” *Click* Well she hung up.” Killer put the teary eyed snail back into his pocket. “You catch all of that Kid?”

 “Yeah, I did.” Kid stood right beside Killer in front of the bar that is now burning to the ground . “What should I do?”

 “Well Kid.. I think you should apologize to her. She was so excited about tonight and it went up in smoke.Literally” The bar behind them crashes to the ground. “You love her too, don’t you?”

 “I’m no good for her Killer.” Kid clenches his fist. “I hurt her and she is crying because of me. I don’t deserve her. Not one bit.” 

 “That’s not for you to decide. At the end of the day she wants you Kid.” Killer sighs and places an arm on Kid’s shoulder. “Yes you hurt Y/N, yes she is crying. That’s why you need to go fix it and make sure it never happens again. Now go to her.” Kid contemplated for a moment before making up his mind.

 “Killer, you're in charge, take the crew to a different bar.” A scream comes from the pile of burning bar. Kid smirks hearing it. “Seems like one of the lousy fucks that laughed at Y/N didn’t die after I got done with em. But they won’t survive getting burned alive.”

 “You technically laughed at her too.” Guilt fills Kid even more.

 “I know, shut up.” Kid turns away from his friend. “I just wasn’t used to her looking like that and I didn’t know how to react. It’s not that I didn’t like it or anything..”

 “Enough talking.” Killer gave Kid a push before walking away with the rest of the crew. “Go make things right kid. and try to be gentle doing so.”

 Kid ran down the empty streets, straight towards the Victoria. He made a few stops, stealing a few things that he hopes would bring a smile back to your face.

 ~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 Your body shivers when you step out of the shower. You shouldn’t have stood under the cold water for that long, but you were numb. Physically and mentally. You dry yourself off with a fluffy towel before changing into your night clothes. It felt good to be free of makeup and free of that dress, but it still hurt knowing it was all for nothing. You step out of the bathroom and throw the wet towel in a basket.

 “Can we talk?” Your body tenses up ready to fight the intruder until you realize who it was. Kid sat at the edge of your bed, holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a sword.

 “Why are you here Kid? Why did you leave the bar?” You shoot him a confused look. 

 “I burnt that lame ass bar to the ground.” His crazy smile fills his face but goes away in an instant. “More importantly, why did you walk home by yourself? It’s dangerous for a woman. I know you were upset, but I would have came and-”

 “Don’t be a sexist pig, besides you looked preoccupied.” The tension in the room was becoming thick and unbearable. “Besides, a woman that looks like me has nothing to worry about.”

 “What the hell does that mean Y/N?” Kid’s voice booms against the walls of your room. You could feel your blood boil at his outburst, all the pent up anger and sadness was about to pop.

 “What it means is exactly what you think it means, Eustass.” Your brows furrow in anger. “Don’t pretend like you give a shit all of a sudden. You sure didn’t care back at the bar.” 

 “That’s not true Y/N.” You slam your foot down in frustration at his words. Liar.

 “Bullshit Kid! I got my makeup done, dressed pretty, and I tried to be cute just for you and you didn't even care. You only laughed in my face.” At this point you didn’t care what came out of your mouth. “I was going to tell you how I’ve loved you for years. But seeing those girls in your lap reminded me why I keep my feelings secret all this time. Because I knew this is how it would turn out. With all the gorgeous women out there, why the hell would anyone want me. I don’t even want me. You know what I'd give up to look like one of those girls? The envy I feel towards them is down right suffocating..” Your hands come up to cradle your face. “I can’t stand this and I can’t stand you Kid so get out.”

 Kid didn’t move. He didn’t speak. Your angry voice fills his ears and your tears reflect in his eyes. At this moment he realizes just how much damage he caused. He is unsure what to do or how to make you feel better. Was there even anything that could? “Go make things right kid. and try to be gentle doing so.”

 “Come here Y/N.” He held his flesh hand out. “You're shaking.” 

 “My shower got cold, but I’ll be fine. Just go away..”  Kid stood up, causing you to take a few steps back to create some distance. “I said go away!”

 “I’m sorry Y/N.”  You're frozen in shock, he has never said sorry to anyone a day in his life. “This is my fault. Truth is I love you too, but I just can’t help but think you deserve someone better. Someone who doesn't get pissy at the drop of a hat, someone who isn’t a huge asshole like I am. Someone more stable. I’m not going to make anymore excuses, just know I do love you. So please come here.”

 “I won’t.” Your back was now flush against your bedroom door. Kid turns around and picks up the sword he brought with him.

 “Look at what I got~.” He waves the sword as if to bribe you. “I’ll give it to you if you come here~”

 “Leave Kid.” You cross your arms and turn away. “And take that lames ass sword and tacky bouquet with you.” The floor vibrates as Kid walks right up to you.

 “Oh yeah?” He slams his hands on either side of your head.  He was trying to intimidate you but you had no plans on backing down. Your sharp eyes never waiver from his and you stand your ground firmly. “That’s my girl.” His comment caught you so off guard your mind went blank. Kid took advantage of that by wrapping his flesh arm around your back to pull you against him.

 “Don’t play with me Kid.” You try to get out of his grasp but his metallic hand comes around your back, completely caging you against his chest. “You just wait Eustass Kid, once I wiggle my way out yo-” You stall the moment you see the gentle look on his face. His smile wasn’t crazy big or sinister. It was pleasant, calm, and very unlike him.

 “Want to know something?” He pulls your body away from him a little before his flesh hand cups your tear soaked cheek. “I thought you looked damn good tonight. If I didn’t laugh my jaw would have fallen clean to the floor. But I was right when I said it didn’t suit you.” You raise your brow. So he liked how you looked but it somehow didn’t suit you? “You don’t need dresses or make up to impress me. You do that everyday just being yourself. You don’t have to be thin, feminine or none of that crap. I don’t want you to be anyone else but you. I love everything about you Y/N.  I love that excited look you get when you find a really cool weapon or how your eyes get crazy when that said weapon blows something up. I love how you stay close to me when we are fighting, and I know it’s not because you're scared or need my protection which you will always have no matter what. You stay beside me to protect me from my own recklessness.”

 “Kid…” Crap, I’m crying again.

 “I’m not done yet. I love how you're always broke and bumming money from me. As annoying as it is, I find it cute. I always keep a pouch in my pocket just for you. I bet ya didn’t notice how it has your name engraved on it.” 

 “Really?” His arms let you go so you could see for yourself. You run over and grab the pouch. You flip it around and see the engraving, but it’s not your name. “Kid, my name is not ‘The reason Eustass Kid is broke’.” You threw the empty pouch at him. 

 “I’m pretty sure that’s you sweetheart.” Kid fell onto the bed laughing his head off at your pouty expression. “But I truly wouldn't have it any other way. So come here and that’s captain's orders.” 

 “Fine. I’m tired of arguing.” You mosey your way to him, he spread his legs apart so you could stand in between them. “Just so you know I’m still mad at you.”

 “I know. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.” His head came down to rest on your plush stomach. The affection he was giving you felt good, but it didn’t change the fact he was a jerk to you earlier. 

 “So Captain, you said you would do anything to make things right, is that correct?” You reach down and pull his goggles back before letting them go so they smacked against his skin.

 “Ow what the hell was that for?” He rubs the sore spot left from your little assault.

 “Consider yourself lucky, that's all I do. Now If you want to make things right, listen up.” Kid’s eyes sharpen at your words. He was getting serious. 

 “I never want to see anyone in your lap that isn’t me.”

 “The throne is all yours.” 

 “It better be, next I want you to be open to me about your feelings the best you can. And I’ll do the same.”

 “Of course.”

 “I also want that empty room next to Killers room, I need more room for my weapons.” 

 “Done, it’s yours”

 “One last thing, I want a new money pouch. A much bigger one~”

 “I'll think about it, you greedy little woman.”

 Giggles erupt from your throat as Kid pulls you down with him on the bed. You smile and nuzzle into his chest, taking in the comforting smell of oil and rum. You know there is alot you and him still need to talk about, but for now you just want to enjoy this moment with him.

“You know I did like the red lipstick you had on, but I think a different shade would have looked better…” 

 “And what shade did you have in mind?” You lift off of his chest and notice his sinister smirk was back.

 “Mine.” Before you could question any further he flips your body underneath his and crashes his red lips against yours. The kiss is rough and fueled by years of pent up passion for one another. His hand snakes down your side to give your thick hip a rough squeeze before your lips detach. “Looks like I was right. I bet it would look good here too, even better here, and here.” His lips begin to trail down your neck. Kid pulls back and stares at your flustered face. “Pretty girl, I think I’ll just paint your whole body red.”

 And he did just that.

~~~~~~~Bonus~~~~~~~~

 You woke up to see Kid sleeping peacefully as he held you against his chest. But by peacefully you mean he was snoring loudly and drooling like a wild animal. Carefully you wiggle your sore body out of his hold. The heat creeps back onto your cheeks thinking how it got sore to begin with.

 You wrap a spare blanket around your nude body and crawl out of the bed. The red beast beside of you thankfully didn’t wake up. I need to wash up. On your way over to the bathroom you stop in front of the mirror and let the blanket fall to the floor. Every spot on your body you hated or felt insecure about was covered in Kid’s red kiss marks. Although the marks got fainter and fainter as they went down your body, they were still there nonetheless. 

  A smile forms on your lips when Kid appears behind you in the mirror. His flesh arm came around your body as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. He planted a soft kiss behind your ear before looking at you in the mirror. You hold back a laugh seeing how wild his hair looked.

 “Good morning Captain bedhead.” You give Kid’s bicep a kiss before resting your head against it.

 “And who is that thanks to.” His sleep laced voice grumbles in your ear. “You sure held on to it tight and made it a mess while I ate yo-”

 “SHUT IT.” You turn around and hide your face in his chest. “You're one to talk anyways. I look like a piece of abstract art.”

 “You do and I’m one hell of an artist.” His hand runs up and down your side. “But I’m nowhere close to being done with you.”

 “Huh?” You didn’t have the chance to blink before you were slung back onto the bed. “Kid what are you doing?” 

 He didn’t answer, instead he walks over to your dresser and grabs the tube of red lipstick out of your pile of makeup. 

 “This will have to do for now.” He bit down on the cap and spit it out before applying the lipstick. “Seems like I missed a spot. I can’t leave my masterpiece unfinished, now can I?” 

~End~

#one piece x reader #one piece #one piece angst #kid x y/n #kid x reader #kid x you #eustass kid #eustasscaptainkid #killer one piece #heat one piece #wire one piece #kid angst #kid fluff #eustass kid angst #eustass kid fluff #eustass kid x plus sized reader #kid x chubby reader #eustass kid x chubby reader #eustass kid x tomboy reader #eustass kid x fem reader #eustass kid x y/n #eustass kid x you #eustass kid x reader #massacre soldier killer #kid pirates #eustass kid smut

[boozye]

Ask me again.

Satan x Asexual reader (pronouns you/yours, no gender specified)

Comfort? IDEK

Established relationship

Word count: 971

Cover art by me (recycled)

Someone needs reassurance from societal pressure and expectations! (you, you fucking do ((me actually)))

Guess who spent 2 hours writing nonstop instead of sleeping? Here, have the fruits of my insomnia. Not proofread, didn't bother checking punctuation, good luck soldier.

________________________________

Oh it was one of those days, wasn't it? When your confidence wavered. You've been through this before. You knew what you needed. But would this be the last straw for him?

In vain you attempted to carry on as if nothing was amiss within you. But he noticed. Of course he noticed. He's arguably the most observant person there's ever been, of you at least. Yet so tactful about it.

You tried to hold his hand as usual. Let him touch you affectionately without tensing up. Be close to his face and his body without hesitation. But you couldn't really help it. And who knows how many other signs you weren't even aware of he had picked up already.

Was this more aggravating to him than if you just asked for what you needed? The thoughts swarmed your mind. Again. Again their buzz overtook reason. You had been doing so well too... So you just started preparing, mentally, for what you had to say.

Meanwhile, Satan was figuring things out at his own pace. Were you growing scared? Of him? Well he could see why. His temper still got the best of him sometimes. And he knew that what to him and other demons was just a mild grumpy spell, to a regular human could be rather violent or scary.

Yet whenever he talked about it, you reassured him that no, you weren't afraid of him. You held him so lovingly and told him. Told him that you knew he'd never hurt you or try to again.

His thoughts were interrupted by you, in the flesh, of all things. You sat by him in the library and looked him in the eyes. Your expression wasn't upset but he could see you were going to say something important.

"Can we walk back home? Whenever is okay. I'll just hang around here until you are done."

A calculated request, he deduced. But you were asking for him in a way. It was a relief. He sighed with a soft smile and answered:

"Sure, I couldn't focus on what I was reading much today anyways. Let's just go."

With that, you calmly picked up your bags and left the building.

Your walk started out casual enough. Barely anyone on the streets at this hour, something you both prefer. But Satan saw you were bracing yourself to say something.

"Satan," you sighed "do you remember what I said when we started dating?"

He blushed very faintly. "You said you were really happy and you hugged me so hard... And then you grabbed my face and kissed m-"

You gaped for a second in surprise before interrupting him. "Nooo, not that."

He looked back at you, expecting to hear what you meant. You cleared your throat and elaborated.

"When I asked if you were really okay with me being asexual?"

He looked back at you a little puzzled "I believe I said that I was perfectly fine with that?"

You nodded, "yes, well, right after that."

He aimed his gaze down trying to remember. The bliss of the moment might have made him dismiss anything he didn't immediately figure out.

In the meantime, outside his head, the words itched in your throat, you planned to just remind him, but this conversation was turning excruciating for you. Just as he remembered, your voice next to him echoed his memory:

"Can I ask again in the future?"

He looked at you with a mixture of realization and curiosity. You continued.

"You told me that I could, Satan. So..."

You took a few seconds to still your resolve.

"Are you okay with it?"

There it was, the prickle in his expression. You didn't want to see it. You knew this question could be bothersome. But you needed this.

"Y/N, of course I am! Did I overstep your boundaries in any way? Please tell me so I don't repeat it again. I apologize, I truly didn't mean to..."

He trails off. But you are already raising your hand and trying to wave his concern away. Ashamed, you reply.

"No, no Satan. Listen. I just needed to ask again. You didn't overstep or anything. I like touching you, and being touched by you as well."

He nods, but stays silent for you to continue.

"But, well... I just didn't want to raise your expectations with that sort of contact. It's happened before with other people and it hasn't ended well."

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Humans are so fickle."

You look at him wideyed, clearly hurt.

"Wait, not you, I didn't mean you!" He drags his hand down his face "Sorry, sorry" before continuing, he gathers his thoughts, "what I mean is that that is not something you have to worry about with me."

"Was it wrong of me to ask?"

He looks forward, wideyed with full realization. Then he stops walking and faces you with his entire posture as you stop a couple steps after him. He puts a hand on your shoulder and solemnly says " Y/N, never feel bad for needing reassurance. It is not wrong. How many times have you reassured me? That you aren't afraid of me? I didn't realize at the time that was what your question meant. But yes, you can ask me again. As many times as you want. It won't only not bother me, I will tell you that I love you every time and mean it. I love you."

You put your hand on his, getting misty eyed. Before your tears take over, you lean forward and kiss him briefly. Then you part from his lips and hug him, squeezing as hard as you can. He hugs back, pats your head, then chuckles and leans back, lifting your feet from the floor briefly, making you chuckle as well.

#obey me asexual mc #i feel lonely using this tag hahaaa... #reader x satan #mc x satan #obey me satan #:'''^) made myself fucking sad #boozye writ

[yulen-the-ghost]

Why are Mu Qing and Feng Xin always together? A short story.

Ling Wen: So, you have this mission assigned. It is not going to be so easy, so bring Mu Qing with you.

Feng Xin: Why him?

Ling Wen: You've known him for a while and we have no time to assign someone else.

-

A different time:

Ling Wen: Mu Qing, this is a very important mission, take Feng Xin to assist you.

Mu Qing: WHAT?? NO I WON'T!!

He brings him along in the end anyway.

-

Ling Wen: This is an important mission, take--

Mu Qing: NO I WON'T!!

Ling Wen: But you two have the best coordination. Besides you are together all the time, isn't that more practical?

Feng Xin: Of course we are together all the time!! You don't let us have individual missions!!

Shi Qingxuan: I thought you wanted to go with your husband...

The entire heavenly court: NOOO SHUT IT NOOO!!!!

Feng Xin and Mu Qing: WHAT

Shi Qingxuan: OH!! I'm sorry. I forgot. You don't know. Well... You two are married. Ling Wen took care of the paperwork 200 years ago.

In the end, did they divorce? No. They were too lazy to do the paperwork (even if Ling Wen took the majority of the work) and they also kinda 'forgot'. (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

#mxtx #concept #fanfic #mxtx tgcf #mu qing #feng xin #ling wen #fengqing #short story #yulen_chan #tianguancifu #heavensofficialblessing

[f0rlornmyths]

TITLE:  PICTURESQUE 

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: You always want far too much. Warnings: Problematic work relationships, age gap (Javi is in his 40s, reader is an entry level journalist do with that what you will.), slow burn I'm sorry guys, uhhh Javi is a little touchy for nooo reason in this. yeah! idk

Wordcount: 2.5k

AO3: Here

AN: This is my first fic in a very very very long time, and my first reader fic in general, this is just for fun really idk? but thank you my lovely and dear friend @netherfeildren​ for pushing me to write this!

CHAPTER ONE MONDAY

You should have left earlier, today of all days, you should have known better. Tucked in a mess of limbs and briefcases in the elevator, the morning rush at Spring Street was in full force. Since starting at the LA Times, you have done your best to avoid the stampede of worn-out reporters, slimy business executives, and overworked secretaries as they made their way up the Kaufmann Building, but it seemed as though your alarm clock had other plans for you.

But nonetheless, you must adapt despite the way your stomach twists in anxiety as your eyes drop to the sleek watch on your wrist, there was still time.  The elevator door dings and a shuffle of bodies reorganizes themselves as people begin to leave the compartment. You step back to allow a woman to make her way out when you’re pushed right onto the man standing behind you, a soft noise of surprise leaving your lips as the smell of cigarettes and a hint of ink waft into your nose.  

Your cheeks flush — already too embarrassed to take a look back, but you can feel the warmth of his chest pushing against your shoulders and a firm hand touching the back of your waist as if to settle you. He lets out what you assume to be an amused chuckle, the sound dragging a small burst of heat from within you. There’s a warm, underlying musk, an almost earthy scent to him that you’re sure will linger, just as the feeling of a firm chest will surely haunt you the rest of the day.

It felt nice — despite the mortification that threatened to seep out of you. 

“Careful now,” His voice is just as soothing as his laughter and your stomach continues to drop, your throat dry.  You allow yourself to lower your gaze down. His fingers are large —and his touch is almost anchoring, but despite the sense of stability and ease you feel at the moment, a slight annoyance begins to bubble up. It wasn’t the first time a man had used a clumsy misstep to touch you but before you could say anything, as quick as the hand appeared, he pulls away from you. There’s a heavy stare at the back of your exposed neck, and you wonder if he feels as unnerved by the encounter as you.

“Sorry.” You mutter, not bothering to turn back to meet his gaze before the elevator dings again, alerting your arrival to the third floor, you hastily step through the crowd, following the other reporters making their way into the newsroom. The man is of little importance to you, no not today you will not be distracted by the smell of cigarettes and the touch of a strong hand. 

You’re too preoccupied slipping out of the elevator even to acknowledge the man exiting soon after you. 

Despite what films and television shows the main newsroom tended to be rather quiet, only the rhythmic sounds of keyboard clicking filling the air and the tapping of kitten heels and dress shoes hitting the carpet floor as people hurried along to their next interview or to another department. 

You hurry along between the desks and cubicles, a set of directions scribbled on the small piece of paper given to you by the bored receptionist downstairs when you had received your new press badge, tucked into your palm. The newly minted investigation team was hidden in some small office space, near the back of the newsroom, nestled within the dark corner with several desks clustered within the space.

The room is empty beside a man leaning against one of the desks, fiddling with a camera. You perk up at the familiar face. Jared breaks into a grin as he spots you, pulling his attention away from the camera in his hand. “‘S not like you to be late.” He says, patting at the empty desk. “But our new editor isn’t here yet, so I guess you’re off the hook for now.”

You would never peg Jared as a friend, but you had both been in the same internship cohort — diversity hires some people had sneered. The lone girl in the program and Jared being the product of some G.I’s fling back in Korea didn’t make you two the most popular. A steady friendship had formed, sneaking each other granola bars and transcribing each other’s interviews if needed. But Jared had spent the last year in the Sports department — partying it up with Lakers and college football teams while you were stuck on the local education beat, sitting through endless board meetings, testy parents and the slow defunding of public schools.

Interesting enough, but not what you went into journalism for, the stary-eyed visions of backdoor meetings, government scandals, and secret code names still plagued your dreams. Oh, how All the President's Men seduced you into a life of all-nighters, stale coffee and the ever-moving rotation of condescending nicknames like sweetie, honey and baby from senior reporters. A thought passes your mind; you wonder how those pet names would sound coming from the man in the elevator, would it be said with a playful lift to it, would his voice deepen as he mouthed the syllabl—

An annoyed huff escapes your lips, as you plop down on the plastic chair, that irritating burst of heat furls tight in your chest. Heartburn surely. But the lingering trace of warmth remains, crawling up your spine, tells you differently. 

“Isn’t it our first meeting? How can our editor be late?” You question, eyes flickering to the large clock hung up on a nearby wall — you still held to your old college professors’ wisdom, a late journalist was a useless one, and there was no room for inefficiency.  And there was little room for failure for you, who already had to jump through more hoops, and navigate through thicker trees than the rest of the reporters. 

You always want far too much.

Jared shrugs, settling comfortably in his own seat, “From what I heard, Peña isn’t one to go by the books, but they created the investigation team under him for a reason.” And that’s true; you’ve heard whispered of your new editor, coming down from down south, he had quickly made a name for himself with exposing drug cartels, pissing off the higher ups and having little care of journalistic niceties. He rarely came into the newsroom, and all of your interviews for the investigation team went through the deputy editor, Steve Murphy.  

“It’s just not very professional.” You mumble as you begin to pull out your notebook from your bag.

—

There’s a shuffling of footsteps as the door opens, and a tall scarecrow of a man enters the room. “Mornin’ folks,” it only takes a moment for you to realize it’s Steve, who, despite looking like some all-American propaganda poster, was alright. For some hillbilly, at least that’s what your old editor used to whisper. “Seems like y’all made it in one piece, that’s good.”

The education and sports sections were settled on the same level, mind you, but any biting commentary is swallowed with a sweet smile instead. But your mind blanks as another set of footsteps follows Steve in. 

You let out a soft cough at the appearance, the folds of your collar feeling all too restricting, a ripple of nerves traveling up your spine. The smell of heady cologne and nicotine passes through and the memory of the firm hand and deep voice is vibrant enough that you quickly cross your ankles beneath your desk. 

It’s him, the man from the elevator. You chew the inside of your cheek, swallowing the burst of anxiety that threatens to escape your mouth.

A dark-haired man (older? early 40s maybe?), his wide shoulders covered in a white collared shirt (though, two buttons remain loose, showing far too much of his neck and chest) enters, his face emotionless but as his gaze catches yours, his lip twitches only for a moment from underneath his trimmed mustache. Before he turns, and you’re sure you’ll remember those eyes forever, seared in your mind like a scar. 

“You must be the new reporters.” He says with a wave of his hand, walking past your desk and towards the back of the room, leaning against his desk with an expression much more suited for some suave CIA agent than some overworked journalist. “Javier Peña, but just call me Javi, Javier, Peña, whatever, but none of that hierarchy stuff. That shit’s annoying.” 

And suddenly, the only thoughts filling your mind are if the cleaning crew would forgive you if you managed to throw up onto the tacky carpet beneath your heels.

——

One of the lapels of your collar was tucked underneath your blazer — Javier had noticed it in the elevator hours before, his fingers found themselves itching to pull it out was almost overwhelming. You hadn’t fixed it yet, too engrossed by whatever pitch you were cooking up on your computer, your lips pulled between your teeth as you worked. 

It wasn’t like him to be so distracted, well, during work hours, by a pretty face.

But the urge to pull the rumpled lapel from underneath your jacket was almost unbearable, and the empty state of the page in front of him was proof of it. 

You perk up, pushing your chair back abruptly you swiftly make your way out of their shared office space, and you turn your head back to the other new reporter, Josh? Jacob? Jared? You make a point not to make direct eye contact with him,  your eye line just shifting a bit above his head, and a part of him wants to grip your chin and force you to look into his eyes, a horrible and ridiculous side of him.

“I’m going down to records for a bit.” You sound almost excited, your foot bouncing as if you were some rabbit eager to run off before you became prey.  

Would you thrash in his hold? Would he have to keep a firm grasp on your waist just like in the el—

Stop it, is this what it’s come to? Leering over the reporters under his command, unable to look at a co-worker without thinking of how she would look buckling under his touch?  

Javier shuts his eyes in frustration — fingers rubbing the side of his temple, the room is silent outside of the clicking of typewriters and the faint sounds of your heels heading out the door. 

White heat rattles inside of Javier, and it almost burns like he is a hot air balloon, waiting to explode as he sinks further into his chair. The lingering scent of your presence is mostly a figment of his imagination — but even with his eyes closed, he can still see the nape of your neck, peeking out of your collar, the smooth skin beckoning him and the smell of your soap seeping from your skin. 

But Javier liked to think he had left these days behind him, too grizzled and experienced to be swayed by a random shot of attraction. That hadn’t come this far in his career by dumb luck, while some gossiped that he cared little for newsroom niceties and had inappropriate methods of retaining sources — but there was a reason why Crosby had chosen him of all people to lead the new investigation team. 

He knew who you were as soon as you stepped onto that elevator, the same coy smile and eager eyes that stared back at him in that photo in your file. He had read your articles, he knows you were dissatisfied with your former assignment, how you were practically the first one to run to transfer from your department. Your old editor, what was his name? King, Jameson, whatever it was had merely shrugged when Javier had mentioned wanting you on his team, “Don’t those young girls just come in to get married off anyways?” The memory alone causes Javier to feel a sharp pain of annoyance run up his temple, but was he any better?

No, not really — he’s always wanted too much.

“Gotta meet with Councilman Rodgers,” Javier mumbles — grabbing his notepad and shoving it into his back pocket, as he spared a glance at Murphy, who seemed all too interested in playing solitaire on his computer to pay him much mind. 

— 

The newsroom was almost empty when you returned back to the office; the records you were searching for earlier that day had been missing from the archives, leading you on a wild goose chase through city hall.

The moonlight shined through the office space, the little corner where your shared office was quiet, but the rippling smell of cigarette smoke signals that you are not alone. 

He’s there, sitting at his desk, surrounded by a haze of smoke and you breathe in careful streams of nicotine as you carefully shuffle into the room, eyes watching him. He’s unfairly pretty, with his brown curls and thick shoulders, long fingers cradling the cigarette as he reads through a manila folder.

“You could have gone straight home.” There’s something in his voice, reckless and unafraid. And that ball of heat returns in your stomach. 

Your eyes dart up — caught, and your tongue curls between your teeth, before your mind forces itself back to usefulness. “I had things to do still.”  Curt, professional, as it should be.

Javier is moving before you realize but you find yourself stepping back until your back hits the edge of your desk. You’re unsure of what you want to do, but the urge to quell this lull of desire is forefront in your mind, you want to yell — you want to stomp your feet to demand respect, to shed the embarrassment from your first meeting.

Want — you want — he’s so close, almost crowding you against your desk, his hand reaches out, covered with pen marks, nails cut neatly and as you watch him, his brown eyes shining with something you can’t place, desire? Annoyance? 

You shut your eyes, his large fingers moving towards your neck, his touch surprisingly gentle as he begins to trail down the side of your collarbone and leave a tingle of heat in its wake. “W-what are you doing?” You feel as though your heart is stuck in your ribcage, almost cringing at the timidness in your voice. 

He hums that same blasé tone again. He continued in his movements until his fingers reached the top of your collar, pulling out the lapel from underneath your blazer where it had hidden with a tenderness you did not expect.

Those brown eyes meet yours again; his lips twist into a satisfied grin as he smooths the piece of fabric underneath his touch. Your own fingers grip the wooden desk beneath you, and the breath you didn’t even know you were holding escapes your lips, confusion throbbing in your mind as you stare up at him.

“Be careful on your way out.” 

You can only watch as he walks away, the searing touch of his fingers still on your skin as you struggle to find your composure.

#fic:picturesque #javier peña x reader #javier peña reader fic #javier peña x female reader #javier peña fic #javier peña x you #narcos fic

[zer0ady]

ZB1 MostToLeast

Likely To Be Clingy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cannot Exist Away From You

1- Gunwook

• This boy needs to be next to you or on top of you as often as possible.

• Complains to the members CONSTANTLY that he misses you.

• After a day in the studio he runs to find you and smothers you in love. I'm not exaggerating.

• He finds you and literally jumps on you. He doesn't care what you were doing before. He is on top of you.

• And he is there for hours.

• He has fallen asleep.

G: "Babyyyy!"

Y: "Gunwook- I can't breathe-"

G: "Shhhhh... I missed you..."

Y: "I missed you too Wookie."

2- Yujin

• This boy wants nothing more than to hold your hand and cuddle with you 25/8.

• But he is SHY.

• You'll often find him staring at your hand, his own stuttering, deciding whether he should go for it or not.

• You say his name and ask of he's okay and he nods shyly.

• You ask him if he wants to hold your hand and he nods again and smiles as he blushes, trying to hide his face as you take his hand into yours.

• Sometimes he is more confident and will grab your hand without fear, but still blushes as red as a tomato and turns his face away so you can't see it.

• So obvious. But its adorable.

• The type to play with your fingers and move your rings around

• Whenever you two are alone one of you will be lay on top of the other.

• Yujin constantly tries to drag you away from the group so he has you to himself for this reason.

3- Ricky

• He's not the obvious type, but he is always touching you in some way.

• Whether its your shoulders touching when you sit next to eachother, him holding your hand, or straight up sitting you on his lap.

• At home he's even worse.

• Cannot be in the same house but a different room than you. Literally will follow you around.

• Texts you on the regular asking what you're doing, how you're doing, etc.

• Loves to fall asleep on facetime with you if you're a long distance away.

• Hugs a pillow/plushie to sleep and imagines it's you.

Y: "Ricky, I gotta go."

R: "Nooo... take me with you. I'll be quiet!"

Y: "Ricky..."

R: "What?"

Clingy To Get Something

4- Matthew

• He's already told us he wants to be called 'Oppa'... of course you're included.

• Wants to be called Oppa yet has so much aegyo... Really?

• It's not like he does it on purpose... most of the time.

• Chances are you will give in to his aegyo because well... it's cute.

• He took this and ran.

Y: "Matthew, could you get ___ for me?"

M: "I dunno..."

Y: "Pleeaase~"

M: "Call me Oppa and I will? Pleeaase~"

Y: "Really? Thats what you want? I'm not gonna do that-"

5- Taerae

• Clingy without realising.

• Like he can exist away from you for a bit, but that doesn't mean he wants to.

• When out of the house he's fine. If you're there he'll hold your hand, put his arm around your shoulder, just regular- relationshippy stuff. 😂

• But when you get home he loves to cuddle.

• Like chances are you'll be on the couch lay on top of eachother.

Y: "Oh my god you're so clingy-"

T: "What? No I'm not?"

Y: "Tae... You've been lay on top of me for the past two and a half hours..."

T: "..."

T: "And?"

6- Hanbin

• This sweet sweet man...

• He is afraid that you won't be aware of just how much he loves you.

• And so sometimes he can be a bit- too much...

• Heartbreaking once you tell him. So you better let him love you as much as he feels he needs to. (I'm kidding, boundaries are important.)

• Sometimes he just needs to straight up tell you.

H: "You know I love you right?"

Y: "Yes Hanbin. And I love you too."

H: "Okay..."

H: "..."

H: "Want to hold hands?"

Acceptable Levels of Cling

7- Jiwoong

• This man doesn't cling. He flirts.

• People outside may think he looks clingy, but he's actually flirting with you. And very well.

• An arm around your shoulder as his face is inches from yours, his eyes moving between your eyes to your lips and back again. All whilst you're sat in a café with the other members-

• Like he doesn't care who's around.

• All of his attention is on you.

• But if you tell him to stop, he will.

• Accepts that not everyone is happy to see a loving couple before 11am.

J: "Is this too much?"

Y: "Yeah- A little..."

J: "Sorry..."

8- Hao

• Hao isn't clingy as much as he is just touchy.

• If you two are relaxing he will put an arm around you, hold your hand, share loving gazes, etc.

• But in other settings, if needs be, he can give you space.

• But sometimes he does get clingy.

• Sometimes he will get home and just feel the need for a hug.

• Days when he feels more clingy his aegyo is through the roof.

• I'm not kidding.

• If you think it's cute, he does it.

• Loves to get the princess treatment but doesn't directly ask for it. His heart does flutter if you randomly do it though. So be sure to treat him occasionally.

• In summary, loves cuddles and kisses, but isn't someone who needs them often enough to be classed as clingy.

9- Gyuvin

• Dating Gyuvin is like dating your best friend. (In the best way possible.)

• Yk the face he does when he tries not to laugh at something? Theres a lot of that I see.

• A lot of people don't realise you're dating until they see you holding hands or his arm around your shoulder. But you like it that way.

• Laughing with him asking if you two should be more lovey dovey.

• This occurs because someone tries to hit on you and then is surprised when you tell them you have a boyfriend.

• Honestly when you get hit on it doesn't bother either of you, Gyuvin trusts you and knows that you both find it funny that they think they have a chance.

Y: "Babe- I just got hit on again!"

G: "What? Did they not know about us?"

Y: "No! They had no idea!"

G: "Maybe I should be more clingy... Nah-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The struggle was real for this one 🙏

#zb1 #zb1 imagines #kpop #kpop imagines #zerobaseone #sung hanbin #kim jiwoong #zhang hao #seok matthew #kim taerae #shen ricky #kim gyuvin #park gunwook #han yujin #zer0ady

[katsumiluvs]

Have a safe trip..

tw: angst? / husband!Katsuki Bakugo x clingy wife!reader

--------------------------------------------------------

Katsuki had to leave the country for his work. It would last maybe a few days, maybe even weeks. He couldn't turn it down since it was very important. The mission was pretty risky too, a villain with such power was on the loose. He might have to stay there for a bit long for the investigations and tracking down of the villain.

You didn't know he was leaving today. In fact, he didn't want to tell you because he knew you would freak out and worry. You were asleep as he packed his things. He was planning to tell you over text instead of telling you in person. He softly planted a kiss on your forehead and whispered a little "i love you"..

As he was about to open the front door, he heard your voice calling out his name..

"Kats..?" you said as you rubbed your eyes, you had just woken up. you slowly walked over to him and hugged him. "Where are you going baby? i thought work starts at 8.."

He hugged you back and tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. "I have to leave for a few days, y/n."

You looked up at him with curiosity. "hm? where are you going?"

"The government wants me and some other heroes to go to another country. Apparently there's a villain on the loose and they needed back up.." he sighed. Katsuki obviously didn't want to go..

"huh..? nooo babyyy... don't leave me yet..." you hugged him tighter and nuzzled your head to his chest.

"I don't wanna go either, princess. I can't even sleep properly at night without you beside me." He kissed your forehead and patted your head. "if only i could turn down these damn missions.." he sighed.

"why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"

"I didn't want to because i didn't want you to worry"

"when will you depart..?" You asked, hugging him tighter.

"in an hour or so."

"I'm scared, Katsuki.. I mean- It sounds dangerous since they even called back up.. What if- what if you dont return..?" You looked at him with worried eyes and hugged him tighter and tighter..

He chuckled and rubbed your back. "Don't say that shit y/n. I've been through countless of missions and i completed all of 'em. Of course i'll return. I mean, I cant leave my baby waitin' all alone at home."

You pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "You need to go now, don't you? Be safe Katsuki.."

"of course baby. i'll be back home soon so take care of yourself, mkay? When i get back i'll plan a nice little date for us." he smiled.

"Bye, I love you.. be safe, okay..!"

"Bye y/n, I love you too."

--------------------------------------------------------

note: BYE THIS IS SO SHITTY LMAOOO and idek if this is considered angst......? i mean its been months since i've written stuff like this ( i accidentally deleted my old acc lol 🧍🏻‍♀️🔫 )

#katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo angst #Katsuki bakugo #My hero academia #boku no hero academia #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #Bakugo angst #mha bakugou #mha angst #bnha x reader #bakugo x you #kacchan

[inqilabi]

One time on a first date with a guy, he had asked me why I was so specific about where and how I wanted to meet. I told him, I can always tell whether a man is interested in me from the very first look they give when they walk towards you. And it's important for me that I arrive early so that I can see the man walk towards me. Because they have 1 of 3 looks. 1) is they're just ambivalent and typically they're not attracted 2) the have this awestruck look of interest 3) they are leering almost up and down and it's too sexualized. And they lose interest quickly (and doesn't matter because I'm not interested in this type obviously).

And he asked me which type I found him to fall under. And I told him that he's ambivalent and not attracted. And he was like, nooo that's not the case. But I was like this has never failed me lol. Even though this whole time prior to meeting me, he had built up how attractive he thought I was. Really liked all my pics. And before meeting me and during the date itself, he said Pakistani women are beautiful (he was Bengali). End of the date, he walked me to my car and said let's do it again sometime.

And sure enough, he reached out but kinda mildly, boring - how was your weekend. To which I replied and equally boring response, and it died lol.

I have literally saved so much energy by making sure that I arrive first on a date. This puts me in a more comfortable spot and the guy in a more nervous spot. With you technically "receiving" him. As opposed to the traditional, him receiving you. And in that moment, with him walking towards you there is no pretense. And you can really see their very initial feelings towards you imho.

#ofc some men will develop feelings for you over time and those are the best ones #but not a lot of men are that self-aware enough on the online dating world to realize that to be the way the world works #and just as much as women men also look for the spark which for them is based on physical attraction #thoughts on dating #I mean I usually don't tell the men all this but i could tell this one wasnt gonna workout so i decided to tell my trade secrets #because I wanted to field test... see how they react to info about themselves lolol #dating stories

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Emma to Jem

Dear Jem,

As promised, the newest updates on the House That Wouldn’t Stop Being Cursed. Spoiler alert: I think we’re going to need your help again. (Ask Kit if you don’t know what a “spoiler” is.)

So here’s where we are: we’ve assembled all of the items—we think—that are tied to the curse. We placed them all in the dining room together and lit some candles, but nothing happened. Julian said it was like we were trying to get the objects to have a romantic evening together. I guess it was optimistic to think things would be that simple!

During the past few weeks we’ve collected a number of books on curse-breaking. And looked up some stuff about it on the Internet, though I have to say you never know with “online” whether you’re accessing a real magic spell or something tied to some kind of game. Julian, of course, had already read the books, and noted the similarities between most of the curse-breaking spells. They all require cursed objects to be brought together, and for candles made of pure tallow to be lit. Fortunately we were able to grab tallow candles at the Shadow Market, and we arranged them in a circle around the objects. When we lit them, it did look very mysterious and magicy.

We combined several of the Latin spells in the books to try to get something workable. A sort of We call out for the curse laid upon these objects to be broken, in the name of the Angel Raziel. We tried to make ourselves sound very important, like we knew Raziel well and would be having a pint down at the pub with him once the curse breaking was over.

Now, I’m sure you’re staring in horror that we decided to do this ourselves, and you’re right, we shouldn’t have, but we were just so excited to have all the objects that we thought it was worth at least a try. After all, how wrong could it go?

Answer: very wrong! A chill, clammy wind immediately rose up inside the dining room and swirled in circles, blowing out most of the candles. I started shivering, not because it was cold (although it was suddenly very cold) but because my skin was crawling. I had a terrible sense of encroaching darkness, like my vision was beginning to fade at the edges. Julian started paging through the books fast, looking for some kind of cancellation spell.

And then, of course, the music box on the sideboard began playing by itself. And not the tune it usually plays, which is a Strauss waltz. This was some other tune, something dissonant and harsh (as harsh as the tinkly sounds of a music box can be, I suppose). And it was loud, much louder than any music box could be, like the sound was being picked up and whirled around the room.

“Nooo.” It was a harshly breathed word, and I felt a presence sweep into the room. Rupert, half-transparent and looking furious. He swept a glowing hand through the candles, snuffing out the flames. Thank the Angel, the wind died down and the chill went out of the air. And I felt like I could breathe again. Julian and I stared at each other.

“Nephilim,” Rupert breathed. It was probably the most we’ve ever heard him say, in terms of real distinct words and phrases. I don’t know if it was because he was angry, or because the curse-breaking spell had had a tiny effect. “Nephilim — do not play with magic. Tatiana played with magic. She was . . . destroyed.” He was so upset that the features of his face seemed to be rearranging themselves, his eyes widening to be huge like an anime drawing. His mouth turned down at the sides. “Not worth destroying yourselves,” he whispered. “Find another way. Or leave me prisoned.”

And with that, he disappeared — kind of flew apart in white-silver pieces, like papers blowing on the wind.

A shudder went up my spine. Rupert. I think I liked him better when he could only move things around in the dust.

Anyway, we could use your help. Maybe it’s that we need a warlock to do the right magic, but the more we look at the items we’ve collected the more we wonder if one of them is wrong. We’ve followed some sketchy clues to find them, after all. And we’ve bothered Hypatia, Magnus, and Ragnor so much that I don’t think we could bear to have one of them come and then tell us it’s the objects that are the problem.

So…would you and Tessa be willing to come visit and check out the situation? Maybe you’ll be able to tell something about the objects since you recognized some of them. And between an ex-Silent Brother and a warlock I’m sure you’d bring enough magical wisdom to work out what we should be doing. We’d love to see all four of you, in fact, if you’d like to make it a family outing. We can watch Mina for you! There will be scones! And now that the faeries have gotten rid of all the hogweed choking the gardens, they’re looking very nice. Lovely for walks, or if Kit is in a teenage brooding mood, they’re great for brooding. Did I mention the scones?

Love,

Emma

#secrets of blackthorn hall #sobh #emma carstairs #jem carstairs #tessa gray #shadowhunters #kit herondale #rupert blackthorn