#no i definitely dont thank you

[coffinsister]

Kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself

Ana coaches are a cancer upon this earth

#do you need a buddy to help you kill yourself faster :) #no i definitely dont thank you #vent #ignore me im just venting

[itsdefinitely]

If it's okay you should totally draw Richie being possessed/Is Wiggly-

Also I love your art style so much it's so adorable!

“That’s how it works, he promises to fix all the holes, but he doesn’t.”

#id in alt text #richie lipschitz #hatchetfield #wiggog y'rath #<- implied #trypophobia #body horror #just in case #definitely art #“your artstyle is so cute” hey watch this. #jokes aside thank you for the compliment :] thank you to anyone who leaves a compliment in my inbox #i read every ask i just dont have the energy to respond to them all #this is my 666th post. how bout that

[good-beans]

this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe

That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…

Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.

Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.

Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad. 

Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.

Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either. 

Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.

Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.

Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…

Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.

Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.

Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.

#milgram #es #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha #thank you so much! and for being patient 😅 #i didnt mean to take so long but i kept chipping away at ideas while i got to this one #these were so much fun to think about!! i went for more emotional ones here but i do have silly thoughts too #i have that silly post about them making a competition after seeing each others mvs #though -even if they dont make it outwardly a big deal like that #i think they definitely would silently compare their videos/crimes to each others and decide whose was better #i still stand by the fact that fuuta asks kotoko if shes a furry after seeing harrow sdfasdf #i cant imagine kazui allowing anyone in the prison to watch his but IF he did #fuuta would also ask if he was a furry after cat ADSFSADF #i think the reactions t1 would be pretty positive/comforting #but in t2 theres a lot less pleasantries and compliments #aside from the obvious deep insights the videos give i think theyd reveal a lot of sweet similarities #like appreciation for flowers or cooking or performance or video games or music genres #but by t2 everyones on edge and suspicious of each other #or ashamed themself :( #i think its really cool imagining who would want to share theirs and who would keep theirs private... #rose posts

[puppyeared]

i also have unaddressed therian feelings… sometimes i feel like a creature looking out from a human’s body yk

i get what u mean..!! im still trying to understand it too, but im happy to finally have a word that describes the feeling. i cant say for sure what will help u come to terms with your feelings, but i think its good to find people who will listen and take it seriously ^_^

#thank u for sharing your thoughts btw!! youre definitely not alone. a lot of things are starting to make sense for me now lol #i appreciate furry art and i think the community is fascinating but i dont see myself connected to it and i think this is probably why #i think.. there is definitely an overlap between therianthropy and the furry community and thats why they seem to go hand in hand #and im sure there are therians who also identify as furries. but the difference i think is somewhere in the approach #furries are more involved with costumes and characters but with therianthropy its like seeing an animal as part of you innately #like whenever i shake my foot i always somehow imagine it as a dog tail wagging.. and sometimes for a small moment my #mouth feels wider and full of sharp teeth when i yawn. its hard to describe but for me its like an out of body experience #i thought this just meant i have a doglike personality which. isnt wrong but well. i guess it runs a little deeper than that lol #this might also explain why ive been drawing the same dog creature for weeks and couldnt explain why #yapping #therian #art #doodles

[silverskye13]

I had a dream last night that me and Docm77 were trapped in a warzone and he tackled me to the ground to save me from gunfire and then together we took out like ten guys.

I'm sure this says something about my psyche and that something is that if I ever met Docm77 in real life I think we would commit war crimes.

#spazzcat barks #docm77 #i.... dont know where the dream came from #maybe ive been?? reading too much Iliad lately??? i dont know???? #anyway thank you docm77 from saving me from being dream murdered by a bunch of guys with machine guns and rifles #we were definitely on the wrong side of the warfront we shouldnt have gotten seperated from the main body of reinforcements like that #he did jumpscare me though he was standing quiet and still as a statue #im guessing because he was hoping we wouldnt be spotted #and when we were he tackled me in a very Foxy from FNAF style jumpscare #also i blame his freaky redstone eye for us not successfully hiding that thing glows in the dark man youve gotta do something about that #anyway welcome back to: every time i sleep for more than 5 hours a night i have #violent dreams and nightmares that both god and man wish they could study under a microscope

[aroaceleovaldez]

emo Nico x scene Will Solace...

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #i need them to be cringe (affectionate) teenagers okay #give me Will with a hardcore homestuck phase and streaks in his hair dyed with kool-aid and striped armsocks #date night is Will teaching Nico how to make kandi bracelets #if youve been here awhile you may know i am a scene Jason believer and the same concepts apply here #listen i just think. emphasizing Nico being emo and giving him a scene boyfriend #its very important though that only certain riordanverse chars fit the vibe to be scene kids #like i dont think Percy would be as much as i want him to be #its antithetical to his character (internalized ableism/bad self-loathing/keeps his head down) #Will and Jason on the other hand would use XD unironically and have a total ball making sparkledog fursonas #Alex Fierro. DEFINITE scene kid. Magnus is already just kind of a little emo. Sadie is a definite yes. Carter. maybe. #i think he'd be adverse at first but kinda get into it casually yknow. he'd dig kandi bracelets at least. #probably get really into linguistic breakdown of xD rAnDoM speech just for fun #Walt no but he could. like. i think he'd be open to trying it. but its not his default state. #Zia. doesnt have the energy but i kinda wanna see it regardless. i think itd be fun for her but on her own she'd lean more goth #Leo? maybe. depends. he's more into doing stuff ironically. Piper. yes. but specifically as an f-you to conventional fashion #Reyna no. Frank maybe. Hazel yes. Thalia maybe. Annabeth hmm. maybe #i think thats all the main casts. Alabaster? YES and i wanna see it. #anyways thank you for coming to my emo x scene ted talk and character evaluations in the tags

[biblicalhorror]

So many posts on aita are just like "aita for inviting my vegan friend to a meat and cheese party and not providing any vegan options for them even though a month ago they had a party where there was only vegan food there and they didn't have any meat or cheese for ME which basically means they wanted me to STARVE"

Where it's like yeah your vegan friend probably should have seen it was a meat and cheese party and brought their own food but also it seems like you feel personally victimized by a vegan daring to be vegan around you which I feel like we should unpack just a bit idk

#its like that meme that was popular a few years ago that basically boiled down to vegans never shutting up aboit being vegan #and people like that definitely exist dont get me wrong #but irl most of the vegans I've met have been chill about it #it's the meat eaters that are constantly like 'haha suck it VEGANS look at me eating this STEAK I bet this causes you PAIN to see me eat it #and ive been vegetarian most of my life because i just never liked meat #and i cant tell you how many people ive met that have been like 'well thank god you arent one of those VEGAN whackjobs' #like chill out a little bit maybe lmao

[084392]

leo and violet for @zerger33, tsunami for @pixxyofice, frost for @bastardtob, and gem for @ghostlycaverns! thank you to everyone who sent their pmd characters in^^

#pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon #i definitely changed some of these more than others but.... #i hope i did these characters justice either way😅 #and im sorry if i didnt end up drawing yours! #also dont feel pressured to use these designs if you dont want to! #or you could borrow bits and pieces that you do like from these if you wanna? #...idk im rambling now but just. thanks again to everyone who sent pmd ocs in for trusting me with their pokes ^^ #my art

[weebsinstash]

I made a fan art for you ✨

I was gonna color self-insert to grey but in tags say you imagine them to be blue skin and white hair and I was like oh let’s do that :D

------

Oh my gosh it took me randomly checking my inbox to see this, I can't believe I missed this 😭 this is so cute, I love it, thank you!!🥰

yeah I like to play around with different Sinner Y/N concepts all the time and I love the colors and accessories you picked here, very aesthetic, VERY feeding into my love of "Valentino becomes obsessed with a Reader who isn't conventionally his type". You think he's bullying you because he's an asshole but really he's just embarrassed he's SO Down Bad For You and he's like, worried he'll be judged for it or some weak or something, and he's just, tsundere and bad at flirting. Valentino chasing butch girl Y/N. Valentino chasing punk and goth and rebel Y/N. Valentino chasing Y/N regardless because he's just s big mean slut 🥰

#submission #for REAL i want to get another tablet. the one i have doesnt have a screen display. it was a gift. and expensive 😭 #god january cannot come fast enough. not just the voice and how he acts but GIVE ME THAT SIZE REF #hh #yandere stuff #kinda? #other people's stuff #ah thank you so much this is so nice ^^ #valentino seems like that guy who is a huge douche and then when you start crying has no idea what youre talking about #acts confused and like youre too sensitive #val who is actually trying to flirt but he has no rizz so hes just upsetting you and he doesnt understand why youre reacting negatively #val whos been flirting aka bullying for weeks and doesnt understand why youre 'being such a tease' when youre like. AVOIDING HIM #anyways im sure hazbin being released definitely wont unlock further degenerate behavior in me :) #shit i still have to write for miguel.... dont worry i havent forgotten about him...

[amphibianaday]

day 1208

#amphibian #frog #me when the response to amphibiuary #i referenced that one image of kermit surrounded by the heart emojis #i am so honored at the participation and by how much people seemed to enjoy it #literally thank you so much to everyone who participated whether you drew one single time or every day it has been so awesome seeing every #single piece of art everyone hasm made #i dont really know what the today on tumblr thing means actually but that was also cool #amphibiuary containment breach #anyway this will definitely be a thing again next year it has been so fun

[geekdom2005]

I think people tend to forget that the reason Remus wasn't chosen to be the secret keeper for the Potters because Sirius didn't trust him.

At that point Peter wasn't chosen because he was the least conspicuous, but because he was the least suspicious.

All the order knew at that point was that there was a mole in their midst and Remus and Dumbledore suspected it was Sirius because he was a Black and Sirius thought it was Remus because he was a werewolf.

For both of them the rest of their kind was on Voldemort's side and the war had put them on edge.

That incident was meant to showcase the lack of trust in the Marauders during the war. It's meant to be a tragedy that in resorting to the prejudice and thus placing their trust in someone who was actually untrustworthy. You can't tell me James or Sirius were closer to Peter when they made the decision of who is to be the secret keeper.

#marauders #james potter #lily evans #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #im done #thank you for coming to my ted talk #Also as a side note for the wolfstar fandom (which I am sadly not a part of because of it's blatant James erasure) #what I mean is even if wolfstar was a thing when they were at hogwarts #it definitely wasn't by the time James and Lily died #i promise i dont hate wolfstar #just dont forget james exists #james can still be sirius' best friend if he is gay #why is this so hard to comprehend #sirius is gay #james is still his best friend

[primus-why]

I really love the headcanon that, to tfa warbuilds, challenging an authority figure can also be seen as flirting.

I especially love to imagine Optimus' crew having to temporarily team up with Megatron to take down a threat, and as the leaders continue to butt heads over tactics/protocol, all the 'Bots are like "omg so scary poor Optimus 😣" while the 'Cons are like "omg get a room already 🙄"

#megop #tfa #like i wanna see Megs confront OP in a hallway and they get into a verbal spat #Ratchet is looking on warily until Strika comes up and says something like ''heh. young love amiright?'' #which prompts a convo about Decepticon culture #later Ratch is talking to OP privately like ''there's no right or wrong answere here... but...... do you uh. have an Interest in someone?'' #''possibly someone on this very ship?'' #and OP is like ''??? um??? not any serious interest if that's what you mean??? why???'' #and Ratch is like ''oh no reason! but that's good! yup its all good. dont worry about it.'' #but then another argument ensues and Ratch watches closely and he finally comes to the conclusion that Megs Definitely wants to frag #and OP.......... doesn't seem all that aware of that fact. #so he has to lay it out for him the next night #cue Op panicking because ''holy shit me??? the Leader of the cons wants to frag ME????? why??'' #''we've been nothing but antagonistic this whole time! i would have thought he hated me!'' #ratch: ''according to strika if he'd hated you he would have squashed you like a beetle by now if that's of any help.'' #''not really but thanks ratchet''

[fulcrvm]

Last Line Tag Game

Thanks for tagging me @teejaystumbles ! A really nice surprise!! :D I am indeed contemplating writing two Dead Boy Detectives fic right now, but they're both in the very early 'being-outlined-in-my-head' stage, haha. They both revolve around post-s1 Edwin pining for Charles, one where Edwin takes matters into his own hands and one where he decides to have a chat with the Cat King about it. Not sure if they'll ever be written but they're intriguing!

But for the sake of the tag game, here's a lengthy bit from a Dreamling wip I've slowly been chipping away at for a few months!

A scene from Every Little Thing (Working Title)— In which Morpheus is a figure drawing professor who has just been fired from a film production based on his comics, and Hob does part-time figure modeling and is determined befriend the aforementioned professor.

Morpheus picks his class schedules wisely— he runs two first year general figure drawing classes, at 8 a.m. and at noon on Mondays and Thursdays. He helps the uni’s live figure workshop club on Wednesdays and Fridays at 6 p.m., and meets his sister for lunch on Wednesdays. All other free time was dedicated for his industry work. That wouldn’t be a concern anymore, would it. By the time Morpheus unlocks the door to the studio, sets his bag down by his desk, and starts fiddling with the ceiling studio lights pointed at the model stand, all of Morpheus’ thoughts have reduced to pure spite. Fine, maybe the big studios don’t want him. They don’t deserve him, then, their loss. His portfolio and repertoire are infamous in the industry, they’ll be crawling back to him in no time. Too bad, maybe he would have started his own production studio and he’ll end up with the next ground-breaking animated film. Maybe— Morpheus’ thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. He shakes himself out of it, calling, “Come in.” A glance at his watch tells him it’s only 7:48, perhaps it’s an overeager student here early. It’s only the second week of the semester, they grab every opportunity to prove themselves with a spirited step that Morpheus might be slightly envious of. “Hello, Morpheus Endeles?” Hearing his full name startles Morpheus, and he turns from the lighting settings to the door. “Yes?” The man who steps into view can only be described as radiant. He can’t be much older than Morpheus, not much taller either but wider in the shoulders. His hair is cropped just above his shoulders and he sports a neatly kept beard. Morpheus registers this all first simply because of his profession but— he gets caught on the man’s brilliant smile and deep brown eyes. There’s something there that knocks all thoughts clear out of Morpheus’ head. The stranger smiles warmly, smiles like he already cares. “I’m here to model for the morning and noon figure classes?” The man says. Morpheus clears his throat and steps forward, “Yes, this is the right studio.” He extends a hand, “Robert Gadling, I presume?” The man takes his hand— god, he’s so warm— and shakes it steadily, “Please, call me Hob! All my friends do.”

I'm a sucker for the 'Morpheus catalogues Hob's appearance during their first meeting' trope in most Dreamling human AU fics, I couldn't not do it too :]

Besides this, I've also got a Dreamling Velvet Goldmine-ish AU fic that I want to get done this summer. I'm a very slow and ruminative writer so let's see if I can commit to any of these fics now that I've posted about them lol!

No pressure tags! I have no idea who's been tagged recently so-- lol. @hardly-an-escape @valeriianz @moorishflower @amielot :)

#ive seen so many Artist Dream AUs but theyre always pretty vague with the specifics of his work so i was like #i need to write the specific ins-and-outs of what my ideal Artist Dream AU would be. and its this #that he's a really difficult collaborator with extreme creativity who starts out in animation #and branches out from there into art directing various things doing his own comics on the side (the corinthian is one of his comics) #(he DEFINITELY forays into themed environmental design) #which is half inspired by my actual professors' professional lives and a guest speaker that spoke to us recently #i want morpheus to be really good at teaching younger artists #and i want him to doubt weather his passion for storytelling is worth it #and i want hob to befriend him and ground him by reminding murphy about what he loves about making art #and of course i love figure drawing classes so much! theyre the essence of narrative art #and ofc hob and dream are gonna fuck at some point. i already have a mildly kinky sequel scene planned involving hob knowing how paint #anyway god this is so long #i just love the ideas in this fic theyre so personal to me. i really hope i finish this fic and get to share it with everyone :') #LONG POST AUGH ANYWAY BYE THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME TASH!!!!!! #i dont really get to talk about my fic anymore so this was really nice thank you :') ! #rex writes #rex speaks #tag game #last line tag game #long post #fic

[playing-with-dax]

ok i am sososo sorry if youve gotten this before but im really curious.

have you ever thought about overstimulating dax or verik? would they like it? how would they react? or what are there thoughts on being overstimulated?

Ooooh 😈

I think it's been mentioned but not actually discussed!

Dax would love it.

To have you focus on a sweet spot just long enough that he's about to tap out and ask for a break. Only for you to switch to something a little less intense juuust long enough for him to catch his breath, before returning to that sweet spot. Over and over until his brain is melted.

Maybe a little palming on the head of his dick. Playing with the ridges on the underside of his shaft. Touching multiple places at once to keep his nerves on high alert. Of course, not stopping after he cums. Seeing (and hearing) that sweet mix of him wanting you to stop because it's too much, but also being desperate for you to keep going because it feels so good. Seeing how many times you can make him cum in one session.

Yeah he would definitely enjoy himself 🥵

Verik is more likely to be the one dishing it out.

He would have so much fun exploring your body and finding out what gets the most reaction. Drinking in every shiver and moan. Seeing just how much you can take~

He wouldn't enjoy being overstimulated in the same way Dax would (though he wouldn't argue with trying to cum more than once) But he would absolutely enjoy you being a tease by trying to distract him while he's trying to keep the focus on you. Touching him in ways he just can't tune out until his body gives in, and he ends up with his head on your chest. Breathing heavily. Gripping the sheets. Moaning through gritted teeth and exasperated by how good that feels and how helpless he is against the sensation 🥴

#hello thank you for the ask & no need to be sorry!! #if i had answered it before i would have been happy to talk about it again or just link you to the first answer lol #also i feel like this one deserved a drawing but work is absolutely killing me this week and i simply dont have the spoons #there will definitely be overstim drawings in the future though #asks #dax #verik #overstim #overstim kink #monster x reader #demon x reader

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hi im really sorry to bother you, and obvs you dont need to answer this at all im just some internet guy lol but do you think i could get some advice?

so ive been diagnosed with autism for like, 5 years (was diagnosed p late, in comparison to others) and im beginning to have some real goddamn big suspicions that i Also have adhd (because. yaknow. the gift that keeps on giving yk? lol). i have a lot of really major issues with executive dysfunction that is directly impacting schoolwork and also a lot of stuff in my life, generally. ive also got a lot of memory issues nd junk

and the thing is; ive got a therapist, but due to a whole slew of things im really scared to like, bring this up with her yk? and, like, im a minor so i cant exactly just seek it out myself yk? and i cant really talk to my parents about it because my mom is a very specific kind of vaguely ableist and my dad generally just isnt involved with that whole section of my being, yk? like, he doesnt manage any of my therapy, aside from bringing me to appointments when my mother isnt available.

and like, ive brought certain things UP to my therapist before and it went mostly ok, aside from one pretty distressing misunderstanding but it feels different for this one because i really do need medication for this, i feel. and thats a whole thing with my mother specifically, since at the start of the whole diagnosis process she outright refused the idea of medication and like. idk man, im so super sorry to write a whole bullshit essay when you're literally just vibing but yk. idk who else to ask lol, and you seem like you know what youre doing i guess?

real sorry. thanks in advance. insert other applicable signoff message here

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Your therapist should be someone you can talk to about things like this but I understand being anxious about it. Are you afraid to bring it up because she's said ableist/anti-adhd stuff in the past or you have reason to suspect she won't help? If that's the case I really recommend trying to get a different therapist if you can. You deserve a therapist you feel safe sharing things like this with.

If it's impacting schoolwork it might be worth talking to your teachers to see if there's any additional support you can get from them. You don't have to tell them you suspect ADHD if you don't want to, you can just tell them you've been struggling with certain aspects of school and hopefully they can help. School is hard for lots of people so know you're not alone.

It might be different where you live, but in the UK you're able to make your own doctors appointments if you're over 16 so asking a doctor about getting a referral for a diagnosis/medication could be an option as well. Although waiting lists for that are incredibly long at the moment - I've personally been waiting nearly a year just to get an appointment 🙃

In the meantime, have you heard of How to ADHD on YouTube? Her channel has lots of videos with advice and various discussions about living with ADHD which you might find helpful.

Sorry I don't know if that helped much but I hope you're able to get support soon!

#ask #anon ask #advice #adhd #neurodivergent #also thank you for thinking i know what im doing #im glad i come across that way #but i definitely dont a lot of the time lol #long post

[good-beanswrites]

Haruka clenched his fists. “Y-you would be surprised if you woke up and -- and -- and your cell was full of ice cream!

I was just thinking of this line from your last Mikoto drabble and wondered… Can you make this happen?

I certainly can >:3 I tried for a while to frame this as straight-up comedy, but it actually worked so much better as something sweet, with silly lines here and there :) Thank you so much for the request, it was so fun!! (Also, I wrote John using Mikoto's name for ease, but in my mind he's switching between first person pronouns.)

There was someone unexpected in cell 009. 

No, no, it’s not like that. Everyone was very aware that there were two distinct residents of that cell. John himself was very aware of his position in that cell. 

The thing was, someone else ended up in there, too. 

John kept his eyes shut, feigning sleep. The other person was here on a mission. They’d slipped in without creaking the metal door. Their footsteps were nearly inaudible against the floor. He would have thought it was Kotoko, with skills like that, but she would have leapt to an attack. This person was busy doing… something. 

He strained his ears. It was impossible to tell their goal. They were going in and out, moving things around. Was it a trap? There weren’t enough materials in the prison to set a trap. Were they stealing things from around the room? He had nothing of value. Plus, he was sure Mikoto would have given anything to anyone who asked. What, then?

Unable to come to any conclusion, he readied himself. He’d protect himself. He always did.

In one fluid motion, he rolled out of the bed and pinned the other to the ground. The perpetrator let out a high-pitched squeak. Impossibly wide and frightened eyes looked up at him.

“Haruka…?” That was the last person he was expecting. John squinted around the room. “What the --”

Ice cream. He didn’t know what it meant, but that’s what Haruka had been arranging. Dishes and dishes of ice cream. Everywhere. Plates stacked on the desk. Bowls strewn across the floor. All  vanilla. There was a scattering of toppings; some with colorful sprinkles and others dripping with chocolate sauce. When he’d tackled the poor boy, he sent another dish of it clattering across the ground.

“I’m sorry! Ah, I-I, ah, I’m sorry!” Haruka squeezed his eyes shut. “It-it’s a, it was a surprise, for you! For M-m-mikoto…!”

“A surprise?”

“The other d-day he said, we were, we were talking ab-bout --”

“He asked for this?”

“Uh, no, but --”

“He didn’t know about it?” John’s eyes narrowed. “It’s some kinda prank?”

“NO! No, n-no I’m not being m-mean. It was f-fun. A fun surprise.” Haruka held his palms up, unable to make his smile anything but panicked. “...Surprise!”

John stared.

Despite how nonsensical the whole situation was, there didn’t seem to be any danger. He rose. Haruka scrambled to his feet. 

John gestured to the extensive supply of sweets around them. “How did you get all this together, anyway?”

“O-oh!” Haruka wrung his hands. “I was, uh, planning it for a while. I requested ice cream three times in a row. And I n-never ate mine for dessert. I’ve been saving it. Es asked why, b-but they still let me keep it.”

“And why did you? Why do all this for Mikoto?”

“I t-told you, it was sup-supposed to be fun...”

John braced himself against the desk. He was just wondering how long it would take to take care of this mess. He mused, “it’s all going to melt.” 

He might as well have thrown a punch, the way Haruka’s expression shifted. “I’m sorry! I’m -- I… I didn’t think of that…”

“Eh? You don’t need to apologize or anything. It’s fine.” 

They fell into silence. Haruka shifted on his feet. 

“Y-you… can have it, if you want. The ice cream. I didn’t let anyone else have it but-but, you can, I think. ”

“I don’t want the ice cream.” He wanted to be left alone. He wanted the cell clean so Mikoto didn't stress out about cleaning it. He wanted to avoid being bothered by bizarre ‘surprises’ first thing in the morning.

His stomach disagreed, apparently. It let out a loud grumble. Both prisoners looked over. 

He muttered a curse. With a huff, he picked up one of the bowls. 

“Alright. But even if I did eat this, or Mikoto did, there’s no way I could finish it all.” He shoved it into Haruka’s hands. “You made this mess, you’re gonna help me deal with it.”

The boy nodded frantically. 

“Come on, you can sit here. Pass me that one, with the syrup. And hurry it up.”

#milgram #mikoto kayano #john milgram #haruka sakurai #(they hardly make a dent in it) #john makes sure haruka doesnt get a stomachache but now hes left with a cell full of dessert ;--; #maybe hed enlist the others to help... #john doesnt quite Get It - he still thinks somethings suspicious #hes never done anything just for the fun of it before #but haruka is so genuine he eases up after a bit #and ends up enjoying the ice cream at least :3 #i dont think i mentioned which trial it was for the first drabble but this is definitely after john has started appearing #mikoto himself may not be ready to accept john but in my mind every other prisoner is very familiar with him #though they dont necessarily Expect him a lot of the time #es is dealing with so much t2 shit they dont really care if haruka keeps an elaborate stash of ice cream in the milgram smart fridge... #thank you so much for the request haha! this was a ton of fun :D #theyd have interesting interactions... i kept this one simple and sweet but theres a lot going on there.... #drabbles