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melanieph321 · 4 months

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Idea!

Getting in a big fight with Ruben becos he just assumes you will go to his away game (maybe with Portugal?) but you never said that and you told your friend you would go to her birthday dinner that same weekend back in Manchester

Love this! 🤭

Ruben Dias x Reader - Hate It When We Fight

Enjoy!

Ruben had a bad habit of assuming that you didn't have plans for the day. It didn't matter if you had a packed schedule or a long list of tasks to complete, Ruben always seemed to think that you had nothing better to do than spend time with him. Today was no different.

"Why haven't you packed your bags yet?" He asked.

"Pack my bags?" You sat comfortably on the sofa, watching TV. "Why would I do that?"

Ruben had appeared before you dressed in a full traveling kit. You had known about his away game with the Portugal's national team, but not about Ruben plan's to bring you with him.

"You're coming, aren't you?" He said. "The taxi will arrive in twenty minutes. Just pack the essentials and I'll buy you whatever you need over there."

"Ruben?" You were caught off guard by the way he adressed you, hesitating before responding. "You know I can't just pack my bags and go with you, right?"

"Why not?" He shrugged, genuinely confused.

"Um...maybe because I have plans of my own."

He snorted "What plans?"

"What plans?"

You had been planning to use that week to focus on a big project at work and your best friend had invited you for dinner tomorrow night. Ruben was well aware of this since you told him a couple of days ago. Hadn't he listened to you?"

"Y/N, it's a big game." He said. "Everyone's friends and family are gonna be there. Just pack a bag and that will be it."

"Ruben, are you not hearing me?" At this point you were getting really annoyed.

"I hear you baby, I do. But I'm sure your boss can give you a day off, can't she?"

You stood, folding your arms. "No she can't Ruben because that's not how the real world works."

"What's that's suppose to mean?" He felt the tension erupting between you.

You sighed. "Ruben it means I'm not here to tend to your every need. My days do not evolve around your life."

"I didn't say that."

"No. But you did ask me to take a day off without considering that maybe I'd want to work, not go to your game."

His response was silence, a deep frowned on his face. You felt guilty but obligated to hold your own. "I'm sorry if you counted on me to be there for you, but I won't be able to make it this time."

"I get it." He nodded, voice clogged with somthing. "I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have..." He really struggled. "...whatever you said."

"I'm really sorry baby. Will you still give me a call once you've reached the hotel?"

"Sure." He nodded, but did not meet your eye. "I will call you."

"Great, have a safe trip."

You stepped forward, expecting a kiss. Ruben however, ignored you, or perhaps didn't see you step up to him. Instead he moved on to the hallway where his bags waited.

"I guess I'll see you in three days." He mumbled.

"See..."

The door slammed shut before you could finish the sentence.

"...you."

Somthing very odd and unpleasant washed over you. It made you wonder, had you done somthing wrong?

For the rest of the evening you kept your phone near, expecting a call from Ruben at any moment. However there was nothing. Not a call, not a text, just radio silence. It was so unlike him, so you decided to call him yourself. However, you were immediately discarded towards his voice mail. If Ruben was upset, you thought, ignoring you was definitely not the way to handle things. Three days went by without you hearing a word from him. You would have assumed the worst if it hadn't been for the pictures his teammates took of him, posting them online.

"Whatta hell Ruben?"

It was not the warmest welcome he received upon his return. But you could never stoop so low as to ignore your boyfriend for three days just because of a small argument.

"I waited for you to call me for three days." You showed with your fingers. "Three fucking days Ruben."

"I know and I'm sorry." He muttered, leaving his suitcases at the door. He walked over to the sofa, taking a seat. "I needed time to think."

"Think about what?" You frowned.

Ruben shrugged "Us, our relationship."

"Oh."

You sat down next to him.

"W...what did you....did you...?"

"I thought alot about what you said, about how the real world works."

Since you hadn't really meant much by those words, you could only glare at him. "H...how does it work?" You asked nervously.

"I guess that's what I don't know. I used to know, but now I don't."

What do you mean baby?" You scooted closer, seeing how Ruben had really gone through this question in his mind. You knew how much he hated having to play football when things weren't sorted in his head. In a way you felt responsible.

"Fuck, Y/N, I owe you an apology." He sighed. "You were right. I just assumed that you didn't have any plans these three days. That you could just pack a bag, leave your life behind just to join mine. Little do I forget about the privilege I have to be able to travel the world, doing what I love. For a moment I truly assmued that my life was better than yours, that my offer was one you wouldn't say no to. What a dick move that was. I really am sorry."

"Oh Ruben." You, threw yourself at him, hugging him. He shifted his weight so that you would lay under him instead of on top of him on the sofa. He cleared your face of hair that had fallen over your eyes, bending down to kiss your lips.

"Fuck I missed you."

Butterflies invaded your stomach for Ruben looked at you like there was no one else.

"I missed you too."

He kissed you like there was no one else.

"Forgive me."

He wanted you like there was no one else.

"I forgive you."

There was no one else in the world that loved you the way Ruben did.

"Y/N, please." He pleaded. Somthing like this will never happen again." His head shifted to lay against your breast, your heart beating in his ear. Your hand stroked his cloudy hair. "I know baby, now let's just let this go."

"Okay." His eyes shut. "Just know that..." He was halfway asleep. "...I really am sorry."

As his breathing slowed down, Ruben was finally able to rest. You weren't the only one who hated it when you fought.

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst

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princessmaybank · 3 months

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Crazy JJ Sex Dream PT2

Pairings: Gentle!Dom!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, Blindfold, teasing, oral (Fem receiving), unprotected p in v, nicknames, creampie, slight Choking, hair pulling, ass slap, etc.

Summary: JJ asks Y/N to tell him about her dream and wants to play a game.

Authors Note: Sorry this took so long, I wanted to make it good for you all!

If you haven't read PT1:

Crazy JJ Sex Dream PT1

"So what's this game, Maybank?" I asked, honestly kinda flustered. This man was so hot and he was on his knees in front of me. Obviously my head was racing with thoughts of everything he could possibly do in that position.

"So you are gonna tell me this dream, but you have to keep your eyes closed for me. At all times. Can you do that for me doll?" He said looking very serious, I only nodded. "Lay on the bed." Obviously I complied. "Alright, here's something to make sure you don't open your eyes. Okay relax and tell me about your dream." He said while he tied a bandana around my eyes.

JJ's POV

Fuck. I'm already hard and she's not even naked yet. I could see that she didn't understand where this was going, but to any dirty minded outsider, it was pretty obvious. "You can start whenever baby, just be very detailed and don't leave anything out. Go very slowly, take your time to think. We aren't in any hurry." I smirked but she had no idea.

"Uhm okay, I'm not sure where to start..this is a little awkward JJ.." I could tell she was nervous. "Don't be scared baby, I am not going to judge you. Pretend like you aren't saying it to me. Pretend you are telling someone else." I rubbed her thigh in a comforting way which made her jump at first. When I didn't remove my hand and began rubbing the inside of her thigh, I noticed that her breath hitched.

"Whenever you're ready." I never stop moving my hand.

"So, we were at the annual back to school bonfire, all the pogues were there and we were all having fun. You and I were dancing and drinking together all night, just enjoying ourselves." She paused to think. "Then it got later into the night and I told you I was cold, so you gave me your jacket to keep me warm." I wasn't wearing a jacket right now, even if I was, it would be a weird thing to start off with. I decided I'd lay next to her with my arms wrapped around her, trying to keep her warm. This clearly fogged her brain for a minute but she started back up with no questions. "Then-" her breath hitched again, I must have some power over her that I never noticed before. "Then what baby?" I asked while caressing her arm. "Then we started to kiss...a lot" I wanted to kiss her, so badly, but I didn't want to pause her story. One little kiss won't hurt. I threw my leg over her hips and hovered her, lowering my face so our lips could meet. She jumped a little but didn't pull away. She enjoyed it as much as I did.

When I pulled away she continued. "You whispered in my ear and asked if I wanted to go back to the chateau with you. When we got back you took me to the guest bedroom and laid me on the bed." She explained. How convenient, we were in the guest bedroom.

"You started to kiss and suck on the sweet spots on my neck." So I did just that. I heard a small whimper escape from her lips. I removed my lips from her neck for a moment "keep going baby, I'm listening." I could tell she also liked that, her hips twitched upwards a little from my comment. "Uhm- at that p-point, you started to take my shorts off." I smirked against her neck. "anything else princess?" I asked, reaching down with one hand unbuttoning and unzipping her pants after reattaching my lips to her sweet spot, sucking until I knew there would be a mark. "Also- m-my pantiesss.." She slurred out. I was making this beautiful girl feel so good.

I did as she said, leaving her bottom half exposed, waiting for my next cue. "You took off my top next, and stood there for a few moments to admire me." She stated, trying to sound more comfortable and confident. Once again I did as she said. Damn this woman was amazing. Breathtaking. Gorgeous. Outstanding. She was just sitting in front of me, exposed and helpless. "Your lips traveled all over my body, you placed small kisses that tickled wherever you wanted to place them." My lips made their way to her pretty titties, placing kisses all over them. I knew she didn't say anything about licking or sucking, but I couldn't control myself. My tongue ran circles around her nipples, tickling, nipping, and sucking when I got the chance. I started kissing down her stomach, heading to the place my lips want to rest most.

"Th-the-then you gave me a heavy and sloppy kiss." Of course I did, why wouldn't I cockblock myself in her dream? My hand found the bulge in my pants and I lightly palmed at myself. I crawled up to give her the kiss that she had described and it caused her to moan. "After that y-you-" She was clamming up. "Tell me baby, no need to be embarrassed, I'm here to make you feel good." I said as I rubbed my hands up and down her hips. "y-you- traveled down and placed your head between my legs." I knew what she meant, but I wanted her to say it, so I sat there, with my head between her legs, staring at her beautiful plump pussy. My hand found my bulge again. She wiggled her hips in my face, you could tell she needed it. I blew on her pussy teasing her even more, she made a sound that clearly said she was annoyed.

"Please Jayj-" She whined. Fuuuck. That turned me on so bad. "Say it pretty girl, what do you need me to do to you?" Her mouth fell open with a moan.

If I would let her take that blindfold off, she would have done it by now. I sat and continued looking back and forth between that beautiful face and her delicate little flower. "You-u ate me out." She sounded slightly embarrassed. She had nothing to worry about. I was going to take good care of her.

I dipped my head between her thighs and began to tease her. I kissed all around but I wouldn't touch any of her sensitive spots. She was going crazy for me, I could tell she just wanted my tongue already.

My tongue met her sensitive bud and flicked back and forth until I felt her back arch. She still had to tell the rest of the story. I was polite enough to remove my mouth from her delicious little pussy so she could continue telling me about her dream. "Tell me more baby, what else was happening?" I asked in a caring tone. This had to be the best day of my life.

"Uh-uhm from what I-I remember, you flipped me into doggystyle-" Before she finished her sentence I wanted to make sure she was ready for me. She was so easy to toss around. Fuck me. I wrapped my arms around her and flipped her onto her hands and knees. She sunk down to her stomach so her ass was in the air. I would be lying if I wasn't thinking about just skipping the rest of this shit to go to town on her, but luckily my horny ass, got what I wanted. "Then you just fucked me the rest of the time." My eyes lit up after she said that. I took my pants and underwear off then lined myself up with her entrance, but something was wrong.

I've been waiting so long for this but I wanted to do it right. "Are you sure you wanna do this Y/N? I don't want to make you do anything you'll regret. I know I should have asked earlier and I'm sor-" "Shut up and fuck me JJ!!!"

Damn that was enough for me. I slipped my dick inside of her, thankfully she was soaked from all this teasing. She whimpered from the sudden pleasure which caused me to tilt my head back and moan. I moved my hips back and forth slightly, causing a little bit of friction but it felt so good. I quickened my pace.

"Fuck you've been such a good girl for me. Telling me all the dirty things you dream of me doing to you. Now you're taking my cock like a good little slut." My hands grabbed onto her ass tightly, it helped me pull her back to meet me with more force. She was feeling good I could tell, she couldn't even respond. My hand left her ass cheek to grab her hair in a makeshift ponytail. I pulled it forcing her to sit up, her back was now against my chest. My other hand found her neck giving it slight pressure. I tilted her head to the side and nipped at her neck. "Who's my good little slut? Who's taking my huge fucking cock?" I ask panting in her ear. "Meee.." She whined out barely above a whisper. "Who's your daddy?" I started fucking her harder. "You are JJ." "Good girl."

I threw her back into doggystyle and continued pounding into her. I gave her ass a good slap which caused a lovely sound to escape her lips. "F-f-fuck JJ I'm almost the-there." "Me too princess, just a little longer."

I flipped her into missionary, I wanted to see the beautiful face she makes when she releases. I reached down and caressed her cheek, after removing her blindfold, never stopping my pace. "Look at me pretty girl. I wanna see those pretty eyes roll back into your head." I was gentle with her now. We had our fun but she means so much to me. I don't want this to be a one time thing, and I want it to be more than this.

"JJ I can't hold it back anymore!" She squirmed and moaned. I plowed into her a few more times to get to my high faster. "Fuck I'm almost there." Just a second longer. "Cum in me JJ.." Oh fuck.

"Okay let go baby.." We both came at the same time. I moved my dick back and forth slowly in her pussy to ease us through our highs.

I slipped my dick out of her and looked at all of my cum leaking out of her, well and her own, but damn, it was hot, I was almost hard again.

I took care of her, I wiped up our mess and got into bed with her. We cuddled for a little while, almost falling asleep. "I loved that dream babygirl, thank you for letting me experience that with you." I kissed her temple. When she didn't respond I looked down and saw that she was sleeping. I held her closer and fell asleep with her. I don't see what was so 'crazy' about that 'sex dream'. Seemed pretty awesome to me.

#jj maybank #outer banks #obx fic #rudy pankow smut #rudy pankow x reader #jj maybank smut #obx x reader #outer banks smut #jj maybank imagine #smut prompts #crazy jj sex dream #crazy jj sex dream pt 2 #pt 2 #finally here

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catandrabbitt · 1 year

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King of Diamonds

a one shot au where the main four stayed in the borderlands as citizens instead of returning

yandere! king of diamonds chishiya x gn! reader

warnings: not much LOL, kinda s2 spoilers (more like references) but not really, manipulation, mentions of character death, references to starvation, kidnapping if you squint, let me know if i missed any

You were definitely in a pinch.

It was just you and the King now, as the two men and the woman had lost long ago and were melted by the sulfuric acid.

The King, who's name you had discovered to be Chishiya from the game announcer, was acting differently now that it was just the two of you.

"Let's take a break before we continue on, shall we?" The King smiled with malice. "I'd like to talk."

"What is there to talk about?" You raised an eyebrow. You were incredibly intelligent, which is why you had allowed yourself to enter the King of Diamonds game, knowing exactly what situation you’d be getting yourself into. You wouldn't allow him to manipulate you.

The King leaned forward a little, allowing his elbows to rest on the table. He was silent for awhile, his feline eyes never leaving your figure.

"I've been observing you for awhile." His statement was blunt, and it definitely caught you by surprise.

"I would hope so. This game is about observing your opponents and predicting their next move, is it not?" You were off put by his statement.

A small smile reached his lips, but it was anything but comforting. "That is correct. But that's not what I mean." Chishiya leaned forward a little more. "I was an executive at The Beach before it was burnt down. I've kept a watchful eye on you for a few months now."

You kept calm, only narrowing your eyes at him. "For what reason?"

He sighed and leaned back a little, eyes wandering around the room as if he were deep in thought.

"You're interesting." He finally said, meeting your eyes once more. "Very intelligent, and not to mention you're not too bad to look at. I've been waiting for you to inevitably show up here after The Beach burned down, since your best suit is diamonds."

"Get to the point." You shut him down, not willing to listen to his nonsense anymore.

He quirked his eyebrow, a sly smirk forming on his face. "Feisty too." His fingers drummed against the table, before continuing. "You remember Kuina, don't you?"

"Of course I do." You replied, a twinge of worry forming at the back of your throat. Hopefully he hadn’t done anything bad to her. "I've been searching for her ever since The Beach burnt down. She seemed to completely disappear once the Ten of Hearts game ended.”

A dark look flashed across his face. If you didn't know any better, you would have assumed that it was a flicker of jealously. It was gone as fast as it arrived, replaced by a cruel and wicked smile.

"You want to know where Kuina is?" The grin on his face made you nervous.

"Do you actually know, or are you just wasting more of my time?" You fired back, growing irritated at his small talk.

Chishiya laughed dryly, before all emotion on his face dropped. "She's the new Queen of Clubs. Are you surprised?"

You were dead silent, not wanting to believe what he was saying. Yet, his statement made sense as to why you couldn’t find her anywhere. You didn’t like Club games, which is why you tried to avoid them at all costs. "Yeah, I am." You replied after a few moments, raising your eyebrows once more.

"I had Kuina keep a close eye on you as well at The Beach. Any information you told her was immediately relayed to me." Chishiya was smirking again. "I know more about you than you think."

"Why would it matter to you?" You were confused on why Chishiya had such an interest in you.

"You want to know?" He replied, quirking an eyebrow. "I'm very interested in you. Dare I say, in love with you?"

"You're lying." You were fighting back laughter, and Chishiya could see it. His face went stone cold, no trace of amusement on his features. "I don't know anything about you, but you're spouting all this nonsense? Do you really think—"

You were cut off by the Kings' fist slamming into the table. He was furious that you were dismissing his emotions like that.

"My love for you is very, very real Y/N. Don't ever assume otherwise." He sneered at you. "You have no idea how many strings I've pulled to keep you alive."

You scoffed before he could continue. "I'm alive because of my own volition and efforts." You were getting irritated as well, only wishing to continue on with the game at this point.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Why do you think the King of Spades has only came after you at Shibuya crossing, and never once more?" Chishiya narrowed his eyes at you. “Or that the Jack of Hearts gave himself up so easily? The fact that you were the only one to survive the Queen of Diamonds game?"

"I didn't ask you to do any of that. I didn't even know who you were before now." You glared at him. "Are you finished? Can we continue the game now?"

The King's eyes were cold and filled with malice as they stared you down. A smirk formed on his face after a long silence.

"Of course, my dear. Let's hear the third and final rule." He spoke coldly, relaxing his body and leaning back a little in his chair.

"Rule 3: If the remaining player defeats the King, they are allowed to leave the building. If the King defeats the player, the player must stay with the King until he is successfully defeated."

Your eyes met the King's once more, annoyed at the smug look on his face. "You planned for us to be the final two, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. You're one of the smartest people I know." Chishiya cooed out. "Unfortunately, you're not smarter than me. You were stupid to think otherwise.”

You were definitely in a bind. You had -8 points and Chishiya had -7.

Round 12: The winner is Y/N.

Round 13: The winner is Y/N.

Round 14: The winner is Chishiya.

"Round 15. This round will be the last." Chishiya taunted. "Are you going to kill me, or be mine forever?"

You didn't respond. You had a sinking feeling that you’d lose this no matter what.

Chishiya's eyes never left your figure until you input your answer. You clicked 1.

Chishiya smirked. He pressed two.

"The time for this round has finished."

The results flashed on the board. You felt your heart drop as you saw the results.

Y/N: 1

Chishiya: 2

1 + 2 = 3 x 0.8 = 2.4

"The winner is Chishiya. There is now a player with -10 points. The game is over for this participant."

You met eyes with Chishiya, who had a annoyingly smug look on his face.

"You're sure you can't just dump the acid on me?" You sighed, raising an eyebrow. This definitely caught the King off guard, not expecting that response.

"Shouldn't you be grateful? I've saved you from having to participate in other games." Chishiya scowled. "I already owe many of the other citizens favors just because I wanted to save your ass."

Chishiya's lock around his waist came loose, but yours stayed locked. Panic rose in your throat as he slowly made his way towards you on the other side of the table.

"As my 'prize'," he began, snaking towards you. "You're technically 'dead' to the other game masters. You won't have a visa anymore, and thus won't have to play other games."

You averted your gaze from his figure as he was inches away, only to feel a hand harshly grip your chin back towards him.

He brought his face closer to yours, your noses almost touching.

"Don't forget your place, Y/N. I may love you, but I am, in fact, the game master here." He smirked, his eyes scanning over your features. "I'll keep you in that spot until you're begging for forgiveness."

"I think I'd rather starve to death before that happens." You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him.

"We'll see about that." He was unwavered, his smirk never faltering. And with that statement, he pressed a kiss to your forehead before releasing his grip on your chin.

You had no choice but to sit and watch as he turned around and left you alone at the table, dread rising in your throat as you began thinking of ways to get out of here.

#chishiya alice in borderland #aib chishiya #yandere chishiya #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #alice in borderland #yandere aib #yandere alice in borderland #chishiya x reader #chishiya aib #aib s2

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lauriegraham01 · 2 months

Text

you're still around | natasha romanoff

pairings: natasha romanoff x gn!reader (one instance where it can be interpreted as fem!reader)

summary: "i know better but i still feel you all around." you never envisioned a life spent with natasha, so what do you do now that the aftershocks of her death has uprooted your life?

wc: 2.5k

a/n: I cannot speak of my grief over natasha, so enjoy this instead! + this is me cleaning out my drafts so im sorry if quality is trash </3

You never loved the beach. You never loved the beach until you met her.

Having been assigned on a mission together in Los Angeles, you found yourself on the sand far more times than you cared for.

"Oh, you're being ridiculous it's not that bad."

"I'd rather die."

Even behind her tinted aviators, there was no denying that signature playful glint shinning in her eyes. She loved how you had a flair for the dramatics, always teasing how she's the only one who could ever put up with it.

"Look, it's only for a couple of hours until we make sure that Stavros meets his guys here."

"And not a second more."

Hours slipped away as you two soaked up the sun. You could live in this moment forever. The sound of waves crashing against the shore matched the ferocity of your heart beating in your chest. You were full of love, consumed by it. Yet how could you not.

The way her sun-kissed skin seemed to soak up the sun, how her hair danced in the gentle ocean breeze, and how peaceful she looked as she she slept in the sand.

You feared the inevitable- dreaded it even. Yet lying next to her, unable to look away, you knew it was too late.

Your bond only continued to grow, spending more time both on and off the clock. Using any excuse to be near each other in hopes of learning something new, even though that seemed impossible. Natasha was the first person you felt like you could be completely open and honest with. You were surprised yet relieved when she told you she felt the same way.

Things in those days were still fresh, you both were equally fully of worry and reservation. The fear of ruining an already incredible bond preventing either of you from pursuing something greater. There was a silent understanding of this- despite the circumstance, you and Natasha continued on as you knew best. Pushing each other to be greater, being each others cheerleader, and truly wanting the best for each other after seeing the potential you both possessed.

Each moment shared together played on repeat in your mind until you could see her again. Late nights spent sparring in the gym, pool games at dive bars, and endless romcom movie marathons that only were only respected by Wanda.

The endless messages exchanged during meeting whenever Steve would go on forever. The getaways spent upstate thanks to Natasha swiping the keys to one of Tony's many many cars. The late night spent revealing sins to each others, and the darkest memories and fears that haunted us. The comfort that lasted till morning when you awoke to another sunrise wrapped in each other's arms. Each moment spent with her was truly magical.

You felt yourself falling deeper in love with Natasha with each passing day. You had reached a point where you couldn't remember life without her by your side, and the thought of having to go back to that terrified you both.

"I don't want this to be what splits us." Running your hands over your face, a tired sigh escaped your lips. The stress of the Sokovia Accords had everyone on edge and you and Natasha were no exception.

"I don't see why it has to," Natasha exaggerated. Her patience growing thinner after the countless back and forth and still not seeing eye to eye.

"You know why," you objected sharply. "it's not right, Nat. You know that." Your eyes met her with an unwavering look of defiance. There was no swaying you to change your mind. She always knew you were so stubborn.

"I know," she admitted.

"Then why are you signing?!" Throwing your hands in frustration you don't immediately notice the boom in your voice as you spoke.

It wasn't until Natasha swallowed thickly before averting her gaze towards the ground that you realized your mistake. Your shoulders slump as you let out a tired sigh. You felt that you were at a crossroads, and there was no right answer in which way you moved.

"I want us to stay together, it doesn't matter how," she emphasized, the edge in her voice unmistaken as she enunciated each word. Green eyes looked up at me through silky lashes, behind a determined look I saw the sadness in the mist of green eyes.

In that moment you felt all your fears cement into reality. You knew there was no way both of you could win and your heart broke as you both pledged your allegiance to opposing sides of another mans war.

Looking up at her you saw the same exact heartbreak in her eyes. You reached your breaking point, as the room seemed to close in you bolted out of your seat and aimed for the door. As your hand squeezed the handle, you hesitated- for a brief second. You didn't want to walk out on her, it was the last thing you ever though of doing.

Sparing her a final look, you see the stoic expression on her face. You always knew she was stubborn, but the hardened expression on her face only further proved what you already knew. There was no changing her mind, just as much as there wasn't changing any yours.

"It does to me."

You fought on opposing sides of a pointless war. When the dust settled, there was no morning glory to be found in its aftermath. Just bitter resentment and heartache as the family you've fought beside for years was no more.

Now considered an enemy of the state, you fled the country, not knowing if you would ever come back. By the time Steve had told you how Natasha helped him and Bucky flee, it was already too late. You were thousands of miles away and burned too many bridges that could never be crossed over again.

You thought about writing, but what could you say? Too much was said and done last, you didn't think there was ever coming back from that. You spent the next two years trying to erase the memory of her. Proving quite difficult as you saw her in everything, her love still being the fire that kept you warm even miles away.

You dreamt of a time where you would come face to face with her again. You've rehearsed the apologies you would say and the confessions you would lay bare if you ever were to see her face again. Yet all that flew out of the window as she stood in front of you, finding you amidst the crowded market square.

"Natasha?" Despite her hair now blonde and much shorter, you still could recognize her face in any crowd.

"Just shut up." She said, catching you off guard.

Taken aback, you sighed deeply as you gave her your full attention. Taking in her full appearance, you note her lose tank and green skirt that flowed with the summers breeze. You don't think you've ever seen her in something that colorful. Despite all the changes, she's still Natasha. You still saw the girl you fell in love with all those years ago on that beach.

The crease between her eyebrow reveals how Natasha seemed deep in thought. Hesitant to speak what's on her mind as she darted between your eyes, weighing her options.

"I never wanted to rely on anyone for anything," she began. "I thought that if I could be independent and alone then I could avoid the pain that comes from losing people."

Fidgeting with her fingers and from the bite marks on her lip, you sensed the urgency behind her words.

"I don't wanna live like that anymore," she confessed urgently. As if she could no longer bear having such a brilliant truth hidden for a second longer. "I love you y/n. I think I have for a long time now but I was just too scared to admit it- and I know things are complicated but i'm ready for this. I want this. I want us-" Stopping suddenly, feeling breathless the longer she looked in your eyes. "You. I want you."

"I love you."

Time seemed to slow down in that moment. The sound of thousands of people packed in the Brazilian market faded to nothing as you looked at her, her words echoing in your head. If Nat had felt even an ounce of relief from getting the truth of her chest, her face didn't show it. She had this look on her face, you studied for it moment before you realized what it was- fear.

She thought you would walk away. That you would scoff at her confession, see through her for what she thought she was, flawed.

She couldn't have been farther from truth. Her eyebrows furrowed in mix of shock and confusion when she felt a finger tilting her chin upward. Swallowing thickly, she awaited cruel rejection. However, seeing the adoration behind your eyes, she let herself believe that maybe there was some room for redemption. The corner of her lip curled upwards before the both of broke into breathless laughs, the twinkle in her eyes making your heart soar as it sang Natasha's name.

"I love you too."

After that, you never knew a life without Natasha. Having fought in Wakanda and losing so much during The Blip, you two became each other's anchor.

Never wanting to be away from her again, you moved back to New York. You helped direct the remaining Avengers as missions were still executed and help was needed everywhere. Despite the darkness that the world was wrapped up in, you and Natasha were each other's lighthouse, guiding each other back to shore.

It wasn't until Scott came barging on the compounds door and the the rest of the team got together for the time heist that hope would shine for the first time in a long time.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come instead," you lowly ask as you and the rest of the team prepare for the time heist.

"I'm gonna pretend to not be offended by that." Clint chimed in as he made his way past us.

"Shut up Barty, please!" He throws his hands up in surrender as he's met by your annoyed gaze. You don't miss hearing Bruce chuckle as he typed away on the control panels.

Facing Natasha again, you're met with her amused smile as she looked up at you.

"I promise I'll be fine," she insisted. "Clint's got my back-right Barty?!"

Clint just grunts in acknowledgment.

"Trust me?" Raising her eyebrows as she lifted her open palm toward you.

Taking her hand and turning it over, you placed a chaste kiss onto it.

"Damn right I do," you say, never breaking eye contact.

Not missing the way her cheeks flushed at the sudden gesture you bring her in and capture her lips in a soft kiss. Earning a wolf-whistle from Tony in the process.

As you all stood in a circle on the platform, ready to go back in time in hopes of bringing everyone back, your eyes meet Natasha's again. Heart fluttering as it did everytime you looked at her.

"See you in a minute." Her eyes glimmering as she smiled at you.

Those words replayed in your head in a constant loop for months. You never got to say goodbye, and that's what killed you the most.

You never were good with grief, and having lost so many people because of Thanos, you spiraled into a depression that lasted the better half of a year.

Yet when you were ready to face that grief, it was Yelena who was there for you. She was one of the few people around who understood what it meant to lose Natasha. To have known and loved her so intimately, and have that taken away.

Staring out into the same sea at the same beach where you first fell for your blue-jeaned baby, as comforting hand on your shoulder shakes you from your thoughts. Startled by the sudden presence your eyes look up frantically to meet with Yelena's concerning gaze.

"Hey," her voice soft, "you okay?"

"Hey-um, yeah, i'm fine really." You shake your head furiously as you blink away your tears. Meeting her eyes again, the love and sincerity that poured behind Yelena's eyes was enough to make the damn burst.

"No," you croak as a sob wracks itself out of your body. Engulfing you in her arms, you burrow your head in Yelena's shoulder as grief's uncharted weight washes over you.

"I know what she meant to you. She told me about a month after taking down the Red Room. I never would've taken her for a U-hual lesbian."

A laugh escapes your lips. Looking back on it, things did happen rather quickly. After taking down Dreykov, she felt a new found purpose in life, a need to reconnect with family and loved ones.

"Yeah, well it was a long time coming," you let out softly. You pull out of her arms, wiping away at your dried tears.

"Thank you, Yelena. I know what she meant to you too."

You don't miss the sadness that flickers in Yelena's eyes.

"She meant to look for you earlier. She told me about you while staying at one of Tony's safe house", you sigh reflecting on the confessions said that night. The fire and a shared bottle of whiskey having kept you both warm that night. "She never stopped thinking about you."

"I know," she affirms, voice shaky. "Thank you."

You offer her a soft smile, eyes crinkling as you giver her arm a reassuring squeeze. Yelena then locks arms with you, a sudden peace washing over you like the waves ashore you were watching.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Looking over at her, you note the blonde wisps of hair that moved with the wind.

"Are any of us?" She doubled back with a smirk, earning a chuckle from you.

A brief silence falls over you two. One full of reluctant acceptance as it is with sadness.

"I promised I wouldn't say goodbye." You barely heard her. You almost thought you hadn't from how low she spoke.

Looking back towards the water, if you didn't know any better you'd think she was still around. If you thought about it long enough, you could still make out Natasha's footprints scattered across the sand. Or how graceful she looked dancing in the sand.

You could hear the sweetness of her laughter as not even the call of the seagulls could sing a finer melody.

You can still feel the warmth of her pirate smile, shinning bright as she looked at you from over her shoulder.

As the wind picked up you closed your eyes and let the memories of your sweet summers spent with Natasha flash before you. If you didn't know any better, you'd think she was talking to you now. Through the way the wind echoed her whispers of "I love you."

Opening your eyes, the warmth and love of those memories still sprout inside you, even as your met with the sight of the beach's barren winter. She's still here, always with me.

"Maybe you don't have to."

You know better, but you still feel her all around.

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha x gn!reader #natasha romonova

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darkstar225 · 6 months

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Twice's 10th member is Stray Kids's Bang Chan bestie

A/N: Heyyy, I'm trying to make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that my friend ChloDavids who gave me this idea on Wattpad likes it!

The request: Can I request for the 10th member of twice being the only one that can tell Bang Chan (skz) to go to sleep and he can only do it if she cuddles him

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

The soft hum of the city outside filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow in the room where Y/N sat, engrossed in her book. It was one of those rare nights when everyone else in the dorm was out, leaving her alone in the tranquillity of her thoughts. As the tenth and youngest member of TWICE, the girl had learned to appreciate moments of solitude amidst the chaos of their bustling lives.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and Bang Chan of Stray Kids stepped inside, his tall figure silhouetted against the hallway lights. Y/N looked up from her book, her eyes widening in surprise.

Bang Chan - Hey, Y/N... Everyone's still out, huh? *tired smile on his lips*

Y/N nodded, marking her page and closing the book.

Y/N - Yeah, seems like it. What about you? Where's the rest of Stray Kids?

Bang Chan sighed, running a hand through his dishevelled hair.

Bang Chan - They went out for a late-night snack, but I decided to stay back. I'm beat.

Y/N chuckled, patting the empty spot on the couch next to her.

Y/N - Come, sit. You look like you could use a break.

He gratefully sank into the couch, his eyes reflecting a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude. TWICE's angel studied him for a moment, her heart warming at the sight of her best friend. They had become inseparable since their early trainee days, forming a bond that transcended the typical idol friendships. Bang Chan was like the older brother she never had, and she was the sister he always wanted.

Y/N - Rough day? *voice laced with concern while frowning*

He nodded, letting out a long exhale.

Bang Chan - Yeah, we had a hectic schedule. And with all the comebacks and variety shows, it's been non-stop.

Y/N could relate. The life of an idol was demanding, and the constant pressure could be overwhelming. She reached for a blanket, draping it over Chan's shoulders.

Y/N - Maybe you just need a good night's sleep. And lucky for you, I'm the sleep expert around here. *mischievous glint in her eyes*

Chan arched an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his tired eyes.

Bang Chan - Sleep expert, huh? What does that entail?

Y/N grinned, leaning closer.

Y/N - It means you listen to me, and I tell you exactly what you need to do to get a perfect night's sleep.

He chuckled, playing along.

Bang Chan - Alright, hit me with your expert advice.

She pointed to the blanket.

Y/N - Step one, get comfortable. You look like you've been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let it go for now.

Chan followed her advice, sinking deeper into the couch and allowing the fatigue to settle in. Y/N moved to step two.

Y/N - Step two, close your eyes. I mean, they're practically half-closed already. *teasing smile*

He obliged, shutting his eyes with a contented sigh. Y/N observed him for a moment, her heart softening at the sight of her friend finding solace in the quiet of the room.

Y/N - Step three, imagine the most peaceful place you can think of. Somewhere serene, away from the chaos of the world. *dropping her voice to a hushed tone*

Chan's lips curved into a faint smile as he envisioned a tranquil scene in his mind. TWICE's lovebug could almost see the tension leaving his body, the weariness replaced by a semblance of peace.

Y/N - Alright, last step... This is the secret ingredient, so pay attention. *whispering while leaning even closer*

Chan cracked one eye open, a playful glint in his gaze.

Bang Chan - I'm all ears.

The younger girl's lips curled into a mischievous smile.

Y/N - You need a cuddle buddy.

His eyebrow shot up in surprise.

Bang Chan - A cuddle buddy?

Y/N - Yes, and lucky for you, I happen to be an expert cuddler. It's scientifically proven to enhance the quality of sleep. Trust me, I read it in a magazine once. *nodding solemnly*

Chan burst into laughter, the sound echoing in the quiet room.

Bang Chan - You're unbelievable, sis. But I guess I could use some expert cuddling right now.

TWICE's youngest grinned, moving closer and enveloping him in a warm embrace. They settled into a comfortable position on the couch, the blanket providing an extra layer of cosiness. As she held him, Y/N could feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, a sign that the sleep expert's methods were working.

Bang Chan - You're not so bad at this. *mumbling with his eyes still closed*

Y/N - Hey, I'm the best. Now, close your eyes and let the magic happen. *playfully winks*

They sat in comfortable silence, the room bathed in the soft glow of the city lights outside. Y/N couldn't help but marvel at the unique bond they shared, transcending the boundaries of fame and success. At that moment, she was simply Y/N, the girl with the uncanny ability to make even the most exhausted idol find peace in the simplicity of a quiet night.

As Chan's breathing deepened and his grip on reality loosened, TWICE's snowflake couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. She had the power to bring solace to those she cared about, a gift she cherished in the whirlwind of their idol lives.

The room remained serene for some hours, a sanctuary against the relentless pace of the idol life outside. However, just as the peace settled, the dorm door swung open, revealing the returning members of TWICE. Sana, Momo, and Dahyun entered first, their laughter echoing through the hallway. However, their joy dissolved into surprise as they spotted Y/N and Bang Chan on the couch.

Sana gasped dramatically, clasping her hands together.

Sana - Oh my God! What is this, a scandal?

Momo grinned, nudging Dahyun.

Momo - Looks like our kiddo has a secret admirer.

Dahyun - And a famous one, at that. *waggling her eyebrows*

The duo stirred at the commotion, their eyes fluttering open. Chan yawned, blinking away the remnants of sleep, while Y/N shot the incoming storm of teasing looks from her fellow TWICE unnies.

Bang Chan - What's all this noise about? *voice husky with sleep*

Jihyo playfully gasped, placing a hand on her chest.

Jihyo - Our dear baby here has been caught red-handed, cuddling with none other than Bang Chan! I demand an explanation.

Nayeon joined in the theatrics.

Nayeon - Is this a new couple alert? Should we prepare for a scandal?

TWICE's sweetheart rolled her eyes, nudging Chan as she freed herself from the embrace.

Y/N - It's not what it looks like. He's just tired, and I was helping him relax. Right, Chan?

Chan nodded, rubbing his eyes.

Bang Chan - Yeah, Y/N/N here is the sleep expert, apparently.

Jeongyeon feigned shock.

Jeongyeon - A sleep expert? Do share your wisdom with us, honey. We could use some beauty sleep too.

Mina - Yeah, darling. I need some tips too! *giggles*

The maknae sighed, standing up and stretching.

Y/N - You guys are impossible. I was just trying to help a friend.

Chaeyoung winked at Bang Chan.

Tzuyu - A friend, huh? We'll leave you two alone then. Don't let us interrupt your beauty sleep.

As the members of TWICE retreated, leaving Y/N and Chan to their own devices, the youngest couldn't help but shake her head in amusement. The dorm was always filled with laughter and playful banter, creating a family-like atmosphere among the members.

Bang Chan yawned again, his exhaustion evident in the lines of his face.

Bang Chan - Thanks for that, Y/N. I really needed it.

Y/N - Anytime, Chan. You're like a big brother to me, you know that? *smiles while ruffling his hair affectionately*

Bang Chan - And you're like the annoying little sister I never asked for. *grinning with his tired eyes lighting up*

The young girl chuckled, playfully pushing him.

Y/N - Love you too, bro.

The two friends shared a comfortable moment, the teasing banter of TWICE fading into the background. As Y/N settled back into the couch, Bang Chan joined her, and they found themselves immersed in a quiet conversation. The room, once again, embraced the calm of the night, the city outside humming a lullaby to its tired inhabitants.

And so, in the quiet hours of the night, the brother and sister duo found comfort in each other's presence. As Y/N watched over her slumbering best friend and slowly fell asleep, the girl couldn't help but think that sometimes, the best remedy for an exhausted soul was a good friend and a little bit of expert cuddling.

And this made her have one thought:

I'll love my dear chosen family forever.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors. English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

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bigfan-fanfic · 9 months

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Acrimony (Batdad Fanfic)

one shot where batdad comforts jason after he comes back to life angry, thinking his father hates him for the murders and batdad just hugs him and says he loves him very much

Hey, I LOVE writing Batdad fanfic! Leave me asks or comments if you wanna see more, or help flesh Batdad out more or what content you'd like to see!

The door opens with a bang before you can open it.

And there he stands, wearing a sleeveless shirt and sweatpants, with a gun pointed in your face, a new streak of stark white in his hair.

There's so much that has changed - every mark, every scar, every blemish - all of them have been erased from his skin, and he looks older and stronger now.

Even his eyes - the same shape but now the wrong color, green instead of blue.

Just when you start to get the twinge of fear that maybe your boy is gone, perhaps forever -

He lowers the gun, horror crossing his face.

This has all been less than a second.

Jason's horror becomes a scowl, but you notice he sets the gun out of his own reach.

"I thought you were Bruce."

"Do we really look that similar?"

"No."

Silence. He steps aside, letting you in.

"I know you're the Red Hood." you sigh. Better to get the preamble out of the way.

He freezes, deeply uncomfortable.

"Why, Jaybird?" you ask, simply.

"Why what?" he scowls deeper, bravado entering his voice.

"Why didn't you come home to us? To me?"

This doesn't seem to be what he was expecting. "Pop, I... I..."

"I missed you so much." you say, voice choked with unshed tears.

This is not what Jason knows, not the terrain he's comfortable with. Hidden weaknesses, stifled sobs, keeping your emotions in check. Your freely given affection and your ability to deal with your emotions was the biggest obstacle to your relationship and the thing he loved most once it had been overcome.

"I was angry, Dad." He says. If it had been Bruce, he could summon up all that anger in a second and use it - he could remember his reasons in a second. But with you... he feels so guilty. In striking at the father he blamed, he wounded the one he wished would comfort him. "I am angry. So much, and I... I don't know why. You replaced me... so fast."

You have anger on your face and he is shocked. "No. We never replaced you, Jay. You're our son. And nothing changes that. Not you dying, not this, not anything."

He gives a horrible, aching sound. Not quite a wail, but a release of pain he kept inside. "I killed people, Dad."

He's called you Dad for years. Longer than his biological dad who abandoned him. Longer than Bruce, who he tried it out on for a few months but couldn't quite make it feel right.

Bruce cried when Jason asked to go back to calling him Bruce. He said whatever would make Jason comfortable was what he wanted, but it killed him inside. Does Jason know that?

Bruce could barely talk when Jason died. Blamed himself. Sobbed one night wishing it had been him instead. Jason was his son.

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. Dad, I'm so sorry. I'm still so fucking angry and I hurt so much... I still wanna kill. I wanna make people hurt so I don't have to anymore. I hate myself for feeling this way. I killed bad people, but... I'd take it all back to make you not hate me."

You cross the room in three strides and hug him. Instantly the fight drains out of him.

"I love you, Jason."

"I don't-"

"I love you, my little Jaybird. Whatever you've done, whatever you feel. I love you, and I know Bruce does too. I can't fix everything, not in one night. And I know we have a long way to go. But kiddo, we need you back. Please... come back to your family. There's never been a moment your absence wasn't felt. I need my son back."

Jason sobs into your shoulder, melting. He doesn't know if any of this can be fixed. Logically he worries that seeing Bruce will only provoke him.

But his dad is here making everything better.

And the doubts have no place when his father hugs him.

So for now, he just exists in the moment and lets himself be a son again.

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septembersghost · 5 months

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my queue was supposed to run out tonight (11/19) - i'm nothing if not someone who clings to dates and anniversaries, and exactly a month ago, i realized i had enough posts stowed in it to last until today. of all the days. kismet. you know when it's time to go. but i ended up adding some posts from my (still copious) drafts, and no matter how i finagled it, it was impossible to make them all fit by the time today ended. so it gets a little bit of extra time. maybe, in honor of this blog's existence, that's fitting.

you all know this, i've said it, typically in gratitude, many times already. this blog was never meant to last. i came back in november 2020 expecting a couple of months, maybe to be here until the new year. i told very few people, anticipating the goodbye, not wanting to cause anyone undue anguish when i had to vanish again. something i didn't expect was the sheer (admittedly devasting) emotion that would tie itself to those two weeks when i started interacting again, nor that it would have any outreach or impact, but somehow it did. then time kept spinning on, extending itself, gossamer threads unfurling each day. my following kept growing, far beyond what i could have anticipated, greater than i'd ever established on any of my previous blogs. moving around is unfortunately a pattern at this point, every time for reasons that felt quietly catastrophic. not being able to pay bills for a while. angel's death and the ensuing difficult circumstances. so here, i kept anxiously imagining why i'd eventually have to leave, how to plan for it. poverty issues. the homelessness we were facing through the entirety of a couple of years until last august (and my dad having to be the saving grace). worsening health issues. i never knew, i couldn't predict it, i just worried about it. often tried to brace for it. maybe i got too comfortable this year, because this was when i started to think it wouldn't happen, that i really could stay. little did i know. and the reasons...are not reasons i ever fathomed, why would i have? how could i have? i wish it weren't so. (i wish a lot of things.)

i thought sometimes about the words i would leave you with, none of which are suitable now. i almost wrote nothing, yet found that feeling wrong, couldn't leave without something about parting.

thus it turns out i'm leaving before it's strictly necessary, before it's the fear of personal catastrophe coming to fruition, not knowing what i'll do or where i'll metaphorically go, as that is the downside of chronic illness and isolation narrowing this to my sole outlet. (lyrics keep running through my mind, there are always lyrics stuck in my head. no matter where i go, there'll be memories that tug at my sleeve, but there will also be more to question, yet more to believe...teach me to be more adaptive...help me say goodbye). my body is in such a fragile state right now (my mind not far behind) that maybe what i need to do is rest. just rest for a while.

this blog was never meant to grow the way it did, to take asks and have conversations like i did, that was a somewhat new (sometimes scary! often fun) experience for me. it's one that will never be replicated. to my loyal and lovely anons, i'm so sorry that i had to cut you off unexpectedly and couldn't reinstate communication - i know that you weren't able to reach out to me as soon as i did that, and that certainly wasn't your fault, it was a response to the tenor of this website. i apologize for the hundreds of messages i never had the chance to answer. i'm appreciative of the things you shared with me and all the times we got to talk.

i sincerely hope some of you learn to be kinder and wiser and less reactionary and more willing to learn and to listen rather than to attack those who have never wronged you and who do not deserve that. i'm being too nice, but i hope you learn that misusing your supposed social justice to do harm and foment hatred and stew in ignorant cruelty makes any principles you purport to have utterly void. my hope for that is low at the moment, but it's still got to be there. waiting to be found.

to those of you who have never been anything but kind, you are true treasures, the lights in the darkness, the loving and compassionate embodiment of human spirit. some of you have (quite literally) helped keep my mom and me alive, and i can never repay that or do enough in this life to quantify it. some of you have been here for me every single day, to listen and laugh and cry and understand. i don't think i would've bothered to fight through these past three years had i not had your presences in my life. i wouldn't have had as much of a reason. there are times when i still haven't felt like i had a reason, i struggle through so many varied griefs, but then i continued to wake up, and would come on here and find something joyful or beautiful or affirming that someone had sent or posted, and it gave me an anchor. there are passions and interests i shared or discovered here that were so uplifting and enlightening, and i will carry them in my heart always. being here to find those was such a blessing. being here with you to indulge in them was such a blessing. thank you. i pray your continued paths have more of that ahead. look at all the things you've done for me. there are certain things that once you have no time can wear away.

you know that line from the wizard of oz?: hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable. maybe that isn't true, maybe our hearts being broken is proof of something. there are people who hurt me on such a profound level who i know weren't affected by it at all, but i refuse to define my sensitivity as a negative. my softness (too soft for all of it, indeed) does not quite provide me with a weapon, but it doesn't crumple. hearts can be broken repeatedly and still beat, which i've thought about a lot lately. shattered souls just make a new mosaic. it's a different picture than it was before, but the color and light persists. and in the remains of that, a handful of people have shown me depths of caring and resilience that i wouldn't have gotten to hold onto otherwise, which is an extraordinary thing. the precious rarities have to mean something more, don't they? i would think so. i believe it. or i'm trying. i keep trying with all my might.

maybe i stayed too long at the fair. maybe this is a consequence of overplaying my hand, gambling a little too much with time to where it had to teach me something. maybe i needed the reminder that sometimes we have to fight to retain our spirits, and other times we have to retreat. maybe i needed a reminder that all that extra time was a miracle. i don't take it for granted.

whether we've spoken directly, be that consistently or in scattered flurries, whether we've interacted in very personal ways or simply in liked hearts on the dash, i hope there was goodness and light in it. i hope there's a memory i leave here that's sweet. (as long as i'm borrowing phrases, i hope you'll think of me fondly sometimes.) i hope there was something warm and enriching here. i hope you know what you've been and meant to me. i said so many times that this blog was my cozy haunted house - the ghosts will linger here forever, and i know they'll never mind if you want to step in and visit.

with all my heart, i love so many of you so dearly. i am so lucky to have your friendships. please move gently through life. please hold onto the things that illuminate it for you, and provide that where you can. please do your best to repair even the smallest of tears in the world. you are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

there must be lights burning brighter somewhere.

something yet remains. i remain. and i do my best to be brave.

#bubble wrap around my heart #jess.mess #namarie #gam zu l'tovah #edit: december 2. this was as it turns out too nice #because today this website decided to desecrate something central and sacred #i wish i could verbalize to you despicable people the profound soul deep hurt you're causing #and the constant fear and trauma you're instilling by making every space so blatantly hateful and hostile and unsafe #but you don't get to take a PRAYER away from its people. you don't get that power ever. that light will NEVER be diminished #i have no respect for any of you doing this. you're evil #i have infinite respect for myself now though. i know who i am. and i'm done #you don't deserve me and you never deserved my friendship or my trust or my heart #proverbs 4:23 #goodbye.

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randomingoftherandomness · 7 months

Text

Fic: I Love You With Purpose

Pairing: Gong Shangjue x Gong Yuanzhi

A/N: This one is for @dangermousie :)

Shangjue gently cards his fingers through Yuanzhi's undone hair. The tips of his fingernails scratch against his scalp, moving from root to tip in comfortable rhythmic motions. It's just them here in the quiet of their room, sitting on their bed. Just them in their nightclothes, unwinding from the day.

Shangjue sinks himself into the feeling of running his fingers through Yuanzhi's hair, quietly absorbed in the calming task of massaging this year's finest batch of camelia hair oil into every strand. It's getting longer now. There are many styles of braids that he picked up when he was out in the martial world. He can't wait to try them all out on his didi's hair.

"Didi, tomorrow we should go for a ride. There's a beautiful meadow I'd like to bring you to."

"Mm... That sounds nice. Should we ask the kitchen to prepare some food for the journey?" Yuanzhi asks, eyes closed serenely, lips curled In a smile. After a beat, he chuckles. "This really sounds like you're courting me."

Shangjue stills. Taking his didi by the waist, he turns him around until they are face to face. Gesturing at the space between them, he points at the clutter on the table next to his own neatly arranged study. Then he waves his hand at the bottles of hair oil he had spent not a small amount of money to buy.

Yuanzhi laughs. "Point taken."

Shangjue barely resists the undignified urge to roll his eyes as Yuanzhi snuggles back into his embrace. Reaching up to pat his head, he hides his smile in a kiss on the shell of Yuanzhi's ear.

Yuanzhi splays his hands up, sliding their palms together. Shangjue holds on to him, allowing himself the indulgence of having his didi so close and unbridled.

But in just a breath, with a slow whisper that is barely any louder than the beat of a mosquito's wing, shatters that peace.

"Do you ever wish we never met?"

Shangjue blinks and calms himself. "What's brought this on?"

"Mm... Just a question."

That's a clear deflection if he has ever heard one. Tucking his hair behind his ear, he gently comments. "Yuanzhi didi never asks a question idly. Tell your gege. Where's this coming from? Has someone made you upset?"

Yuanzhi sighs, merely shaking his head. "It's nothing." A pause. "It's everything."

Shangjue patiently waits him out, holding him tightly. "I've been wondering lately if we shouldn't have met after all. How my life would have been if I had never met you, how different of a person I would be. I wonder if it would have been better if you..."

"You?"

"If you never fell in love with me. Then perhaps you could have had a normal life. A wife. A child to carry on your name. Maybe I would be just a cousin you saw occasionally. Someone who did not make a deep impression on you."

Yuanzhi's gaze flash with the flickering of the candlelight, gazing into the distance. Softly, as if he isn't expecting the words to even exist in his voice, he murmurs. "Maybe if I didn't exist, you still could..."

Shangjue tightens his embrace. Heart racing at the thought of his world not having his didi in it, mind buzzing with uncharacteristic panic at the thought that he would not have Yuanzhi by his side.

"Gong Yuanzhi, I want you to listen to me, and listen well." He crosses his arms around his didi's chest, pressing every ounce of sincerity and fragility into his words. "I didn't fall in love with you. Falling implies that how I feel for you is an accident."

"I love you and have loved you on purpose. Consciously, willingly, and with deliberate thought. Every shade of my love, every moment I have loved you has been a choice. And I choose you."

The warm droplets on the back of his hands are carefully ignored. Shangjue tilts Yuanzhi and folds him closer until he is safely tucked against his shoulder, dampening the fabric there. Leaning in, he softly hides his smile to the side of his hair, breathing in deep the warm scent of camelia and musk.

Yuanzhi's demons aren't unfamiliar to him and he knows this won't be the last time he has to keep them at bay. Born of his fault, it's his solemn duty to remind Yuanzhi, to anchor him, to soothe him that this is real -- the life that they've built together is as real and as true as the air in their lungs.

"Let me say one thing more." Shangjue lifts Yuanzhi's face by the cheek. Cooing a little at the red-rimmed eyes, he lovingly wipes away the tears, smoothing away the frown between his brows. "Your place by my side on purpose and with purpose. No one can take that away from you. No one can replace you. In this life, Yuanzhi didi is my Yuanzhi didi. Understand?"

"Mn."

Yuanzhi gives him a tremulous, wet smile, pulling away to wipe away the few stray tears that trickle down his face. "You know, whoever said that Gong Ziyu was the most romantic man of our generation has obviously never heard you speak. You'd give the best poets a run for their money, Ge."

Shangjue barks a laugh at that. Shuffling over, he lays his hand over Yuanzhi's hip, drawing him in for a kiss. And then two, and three.

"It's good that no one knows. I'm a romantic only for my didi, after all."

Yuanzhi holds in the cough long enough before his shoulder starts to shake and he laughs out loud around his wheezing gasps.

"Please, gege, never let anyone but me hear you say things like these. The world is not ready for your type of romance."

Shangjue chuckles, reeling him back in. Snuffing out the candlelight, he lies them both down -- Yuanzhi on the inside of the bed, him on the outside. They talk for a bit more, speaking about the food they'd like to have on their little sojourn tomorrow.

They'll need to wake up early so that Shangjue can try this intricate braid work that he learnt from some merchants from the far West. When Yuanzhi's breathing begins to even out, Shangjue takes a moment just as sleep is beginning to take him, and thinks adoringly.

Yes, from the moment I met you, I have loved you with purpose.

#my journey to you #my journey to you fic #gong shangjue #gong yuanzhi #gong shangjue x gong yuanzhi #云之羽 #gab writes stuff #i know this could have been angstier but the fluff has me in a chokehold

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spoopkook · 7 months

Text

"I see the danger, it's written there in your eyes." | Shock | "You in there?"

Word count: 991

Read it on ao3

"Hi Captain."

Before I could even take in what was happening I was knocked to the ground, the pain rendering me temporarily blind.

My vision was blurry and my hearing was unclear.

The extinguisher fell to the ground with a muffled clank as he walked towards me. His boots slowly came into view.

I reached out for support and he grabbed my hand.

"Sorry about that, couldn't afford to let you make another mistake."

Before I could pull myself up, he took pliers, forcefully removing the warp crystal from my palm.

The pain was once again blinding, the shock from it going all the way up my arm.

"Hmm, yeah. Funny thing to say after an eternity of nothing but second chances-"

He twirled his fingers around the crystal. With no other ideas, I reached for it.

He grabbed my hand. "Don't."

His tone was uncompromising. His eyes that were once warm and comforting were cold as they stared into mine. Where had my dear head engineer who was willing to do anything for me gone? He used to trust me with his life and now he wouldn't trust me to make a single decision. It was such a harsh juxtaposition to the conversation I'd just had with his older self. So different from the Mark I was used to.

"You don't have to keep trying anymore," Mark got up from where he was, walking towards the warp core. "There's no time anyway." He giggled at himself, "Another thing I thought I'd never say again. But I'm going to fix the damage you caused. I have a long time to spend rebuilding this machine you broke."

What does he mean? I never broke the warp core, did I?

"A long time, over too many lives… But I know now that this thing does more than just make wormholes." He placed the crystal into the machine. Light and sound emitted from it as it turned on, its power source restored.

"Distance and time are the same thing from different perspectives. That's all these universes are, just different points of view." He stood, walking towards the control panel. "And this machine didn't just bridge a tunnel through our universe. It was bridging all of them." The anger crept back into his voice. "And you destroyed it." He shook his head.

I wanted to tell him I never destroyed it. Wanted to explain. Wanted to change his mind. Stop his monologue. But I couldn't. He was too far gone. He'd made up his mind and nothing was going to change that.

"I can't undo what you've done. Not here anyway. Or at least not now," he pulled the lever.

Warp core engaged.

"If I could go back."

I needed to stop him. It's what old Mark warned me about. But how?

"If I could try again. If I could stop you before any of this even started, maybe I could save everyone."

I wanted to cry. This is what created the paradox in the first place wasn't it? But how could I stop him?

Warning. Paradox detected.

"What? What the hell does that mean?"

I seized the opportunity to throw sand in his face. I could thank old man Mark for that one.

Temporal lock unstable.

"What the hell was that? Is that sand? Who throws sand?!"

I got to the control panel, typing in everything I could. Frantically trying to shut it down before he could stop me.

Paradox detected.

I reached to pull the crystal out the core.

He grabbed my hand, stopping me again.

"Captain no! You'll destroy everything! Again!"

Target arrival date not guaranteed.

The unstable warp core created a wormhole breaking the ship.

We started to float in the air so I grabbed the railing and Mark as quickly as I could.

"Captain, Captain! Don't let go! Don't let go!" Mark screamed in terror as he started to get sucked in.

I was holding onto him, trying my best to save his life. Why has this happened so many times before? Saving him from the black hole from the broken window… we've lived too many lives and they've all been in one big circle.

"Wait. Let me go."

Why was Mark such an idiot? Did he want to get killed? Pulled apart by the gravitational force of this thing? He says that his deaths weren't so bad, that his body can handle it, but he can't! What was he hoping to achieve?

"Captain, please. I can fix this. Look, I don't know what you did."

Well that makes two of us.

"And maybe you didn't mean to, but I have to stop you."

Stopping me won't prevent any of this. Old man Mark 'stopping' me just led to more unstable paradoxes and problems. I wish I could tell him the mistake he's making.

"I have to! God, I wish I had thought of a fake hand or something."

The memories of old man Mark's confrontation were honestly giving me whiplash at this point.

"Please! This is it! This is the end of everything. Everyone that ever existed is going to get wiped out unless you let me go!"

I looked to the warp core. How could I stop it?

"Captain! Please!"

His begging was getting to me. I know he thought this was the right choice. But I knew it wasn't. So I kept holding on for our dear lives.

"I have to keep trying. I have to."

I had made my choice.

"Please! Let me go! I know I can fix everything. I know there's a perfect solution, I just have to find it! Please! Captain!"

I reached for the warp core as best I could without letting my grip on Mark loosen.

"Captain no! Captain, don't do it!"

I ripped the crystal from its machine and threw it into the open chasm of the wormhole.

"Captain!"

It imploded.

Alert. Paradox resolved. Para..dox re..solved. Para…dox …re…solved.

#shock #you in there?#I see the danger it's written there in your eyes #whumptober 2023 #no. 4 #my writing #fanfic #iswm #captaineer #captain #head engineer mark #engineer mark #in space with markiplier #markiplier fanfiction #don't #whumptober #whumptober2023

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sweetwhitechoco · 8 months

Text

Golden Joinery

So my original plan for this was to write up some scenes for my fancomic about the start of season 3 of Sonic Prime, but it got a little longer over the week so it became a oneshot fanfic. Ha! xD

(Also I had some issues uploading this on AO3, so I'm gonna upload it here for now instead.)

Just a little bit of hurt/comfort. This one takes place after episode 16, Ghost of a Chance. Hope you enjoy!

"The only person I can trust is myself."

Shadow watched in silent rage as Nine carried the shards and walked away into a purple framed portal, leaving nothing behind. Sonic was standing below the cave entrance, he held his hands up to his face, hiding whatever expression he had.

Not that Shadow could see it from where he stood, but he guessed the blue hedgehog was pretty dejected about Nine's betrayal.

So much for that trust.

Harrowed by what just happened, Sonic repeated what Nine told him over and over in his mind.

"You just assumed I'd go along with you, no matter what."

"Did you even consider what I wanted?!"

"I am real!"

"Just.. not your real friend."

"Trust you? The only person I can trust is--"

".. you listening?"

He briefly snapped out of his thoughts when Shadow's voice broke through, who stepped directly in front of him. Sonic didn't even realize he already slumped down against the wall, didn't realize his darker counterpart was addressing him.

His hands lowered as he looked up in worry, expecting a seething Shadow with clenched fists at the ready. But there was none of that, Shadow simply crouched down to face him, mahogany eyes were now piercing into emerald ones.

"What happened here?"

".. You're really gonna ask me that?"

"Yes."

Sonic sighed. Where could he even begin explaining this mess to him?

"You were right about Nine, Shadow. He refused to fix Green Hill," he paused briefly to study Shadow's expression, then continued when he saw him nodding, "and he took the shards away."

Sonic's ears were lowered, remembering what he told Shadow right before the battle. "I really thought we could.." he trailed off as soon as his voice cracked.

"That we could trust him.." His throat felt too tight, it was hard to form words at this point. This was too painful, the previous mistakes he caused rushed back into his memory. His eyes were wide with shock and sorrow like never before, realized how much he really messed up.

"Sonic?"

Tears welled up in his eyes, he covered his face again and shifted away from his rival. How could Sonic ever fix this, it was lost on him. He could never face Shadow, not after he warned him about Nine for more than once.

By now they lost the shards, their only way to getting back home, because of him. He lost Nine, a friend he thought- no, believed- trusted him as much as he did Tails.

He was wrong. Again.

This is all his fault.

"Sonic?"

Shadow called out to Sonic, a hint of concern in his voice. His rival didn't respond, only shifted away as he covered his face again.

Just as he slowly reached his hand out, Shadow was caught off guard when he heard the small sobs that escaped Sonic's mouth.

He lowered his arm, eyes wide at the blue hedgehog that broke down in tears. This was beyond what he imagined; Shadow never expected Sonic to take Nine's betrayal this badly. His face turned to the floor, the way his rival cried already becoming too much for the ultimate lifeform.

What can he do at times like this? Shadow can't just tell Sonic to stop crying in this state, he had to approach this.. odd situation differently.

However, with little knowledge and experience on comforting others he found himself lost on solutions.

Well, there was one way he could think of. He had to swallow his pride to act on it, but for what its worth Sonic needed someone to be there for him.

Shadow sighed again as he held out his arms, wrapped them firmly around Sonic. He pulled him into a gentle embrace, knowing that he would definitely regret this one later.

"What am I going to do with you?"

Sonic suddenly felt something- or rather, someone- pressing against him, like he's being pulled into a hug. He opened his eyes to see the familiar quills of black and red, it took him by surprise as he realized it was Shadow who held him.

"What am I going to do with you?"

The blue blur's crying came to a brief halt, he refocused his vision to make sure it wasn't a trick of the mind. Yep, it was his broody rival who hugged him.

"S- Shadow?"

The dark hedgehog remained silent for a moment.

"I know you're not okay with what Nine did."

He paused at Shadow's words, and tears threatened to fall again. Sonic lowered his arms to hold him in return, chose to hide his tears by burying his face into the dark hedgehog's shoulder.

He slowly regained his breathing into a more stable pattern, taking his time to recover himself. The sobs have subsided after a minute or two, although his eyes grew tired from letting it all out of his system.

"You.. said you didn't trust him."

"I still don't," Shadow said this with absolute resolve, then he continued with a calmer tone, "but you did. You.. gave him a chance, and I'm not sure why, but I wanted to do the same."

Sonic didn't know how to respond to that, now that he was proven wrong. He let out a nervous chuckle at himself in defeat.

"I guess that makes two of us with trust issues."

Shadow looked at him briefly before a sad smile rested on his face. "Yeah, you can say that again."

They both held each other through the silence in the cave, an unexpected turn yet most welcome on Sonic's case. He didn't realize how much he needed this until now, it made him appreciate Shadow being there more than ever before.

"Thanks, Shadow."

He knew he was taking his time with calming Sonic down, but the contact felt also comforting to the dark hedgehog. The reason he decided to let go was Sonic being too sentimental about it. Or that he realized he might regret letting go after all.

"Um, anyway.. what I'm trying to say is;" Shadow pulled Sonic away as he cleared his throat, "you shouldn't give up because of this."

The blue hedgehog scoffed at him with a confused pair of eyes, appearing offended.

"I wasn't going to give up on our home."

"Good. Because we're still in this," his rival stood up when he said this, held out his hand to him with a smirk, "together?"

Sonic felt a surge of new hope rushing into him when he saw the confidence that Shadow's smile gave off. He grinned back at him before taking his offered hand, the hedgehogs faced each other with stronger, newfound bond.

"Together."

"Where did the shards go?!" Mr. Dr. Eggman shouted at the screen which scanned the area for prism energy. There were no energy spikes like it showed him before, which means..

"They moved the shards elsewhere.."

He grumbled to himself and moved back to his control panel, pressed a button to activate a video call.

"Members of the Chaos Council, fall back to the Mothership! The hedgehogs were a distraction; they took the shards away to another location!"

He didn't even bother waiting for a response from the rest of his team and cut the call shortly. There was another problem at their plate, as Mr. Dr. Eggman checked their ship's energy storage.

They barely have enough leftover energy from the shards, it could only track them through at least one or two more gateway.

"Curse these hedgehogs!"

He slammed the control board down in rage. They wasted too much of their time and effort into this chase game, when they could have used all that prism energy to build their empire and destroy the rebellion!

In that moment, the evil genius' brain remembered something. And it brought him a newer idea, that these two rodents might be the key to more than just restoring the lost shards. Mr. Dr. Eggman allowed himself a grin at his new revelation, and quickly began preparing the Mothership to retrieve the rest of the Chaos Council.

Should this plan work as intended, the power to dominate the multiverse will be immediately at their grasp.

Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading! ^^

#zai writes fanfic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic prime #shadow the hedgehog #mr. dr. eggman #nine the fox #oneshot #I've decided to publicly embrace the cringe that is my writing

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disco-elysium-via-polls · 6 months

Text

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

I've decided to include when we get points in a stat. The game doesn't *explicitly* give us this information unless we check the ledger, but I think it could be helpful, and more importantly, funny.

That's brilliant! So funny and nihilistic.

+1 Ultraliberalism.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - People in Martinaise tend to disagree, as do many prominent art critics and thought leaders with more *nuanced* social awareness than the young ironists.

+5 XP

HORSEBACK MONUMENT - Filippe III, the Squanderer, however, with his bronze face up in the air, doesn't seem concerned about what the *hoi polloi* think of him in death.

2. [Leave].

PALEDRIVER - The small wrinkled woman does not greet you. She nods along to something on her radio. A photograph is clutched in her hands and there is a warm smile on her face.

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - It's the warmth of a winter night's fire. Maybe she could give you comfort and shelter? Some cigarettes and food money? Maybe she's your...

"Grandma?"

Snap your fingers in front of her face.

"Excuse me, ma'am, I'd like to ask some questions."

"Nothing to do here." [Leave.]

PALEDRIVER - Nothing. Her smile just keeps widening; her hair is grey like lead.

3. "Excuse me, ma'am, I'd like to ask some questions."

PALEDRIVER - No response. Wherever this woman is, your words fail to reach her.

2. Snap your fingers in front of her face.

KIM KITSURAGI - "If you want her attention you may need to be more forceful."

3. Snap your fingers twice.

PALEDRIVER - "Where am I? Who are you?" Like a magician recalling a subject from hypnosis, you've jolted her back to reality.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - The smile on her face has disappeared, replaced by the wary aspect of a cornered beast.

"I was actually hoping *you* could tell me that."

"Are you alright, ma'am? You were out."

"Me? I am the law around here."

+1 The Law.

PALEDRIVER - "Then I don't suppose you could tell me where we are, lawman?"

"Never mind," she sighs. "I remember now. I'm still stuck in that traffic jam. In the *Fifties*," she adds with contempt.

"Wait, what's so bad about the Fifties?"

"Where else would you be then?"

"*When* else would you be then?"

PALEDRIVER - "The men have small jaws and everything is made out of plastic. Why do you need plastic?" she scoffs. "When you can make the world out of amber?"

"Where else would you be then?"

"*When* else would you be then?"

PALEDRIVER - "Back in Mesque during the time of the Revolution." The smile returns to her face. "The sidewalks and cafes are filled with young people... I was on my way to see a new boiadeiro picture starring Gabriel Buenguerro."

"Until you came along, that is." The look she gives you is accusatory.

"Who's Gabriel Buenguerro?"

"So I take it you were in Mesque when you were young?"

"Sorry to interrupt your dreaming, ma'am."

"Right. I have some other questions for you. Police questions." (Proceed).

PALEDRIVER - "*This* is Gabriel Buenguerro..." She shows you the photograph in the lavish amber frame.

Take a look.

PALEDRIVER - A strikingly handsome man looks straight at you, his head crowned with a wide-brim hat. His hair is dark as an oil slick and his jaw is the most perfectly chiselled thing you've ever seen.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - This man's got a hold over her. Even fifty years later, you can feel it...

PALEDRIVER - "He was the biggest star of his day. Girls used to faint in the aisles of the cinema whenever he came on the screen, and school boys used to memorize all his lines..." She leans back, savouring the world she's conjured up.

2. "So I take it you were in Mesque when you were young?"

PALEDRIVER - "*Someone* was..." She nods as though her meaning were perfectly clear.

3. "Someone? Are these not your memories?"

PALEDRIVER - "They are someone's memories, boy." She gets gruff, suddenly. "What difference does it make if it's me or not?"

"They're beautiful. That is all that matters. Beautiful and true -- and they will win. They're *coming* for this, you know…" She looks around. "All of this."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - She seems to derive some bitter pleasure from this strange thought. As if the past will one day wipe the present away, like a tidal wave approaching.

4. "Sorry to interrupt your dreaming, ma'am."

PALEDRIVER - "I wasn't dreaming. I was *there*, lawman. It was early spring and 'The Man Behind The Black Sun' had just come out. The posters were twenty metres tall. Everything was golden..." Her eyes narrow and she appears to take your measure.

"While *you* people were tearing each other apart over your petty little Revolution, in Mesque it was a golden age."

5. "Right. I have some other questions for you. Police questions." (Proceed.)

PALEDRIVER - "Why not, *xerife*? It's not like I have anything better to do in this hellhole." She settles back against the railing of her motor lorry. Behind her, mountains of memorabilia, photos, and knicknacks line the dashboard.

"What are you hauling?"

"I still don't really understand this whole *boiadeiro* thing."

"Before I came. you seemed... *away*.

"You seem like a woman who knows a thing or two about drugs."

"Thank you for now." [Leave].

PALEDRIVER - "Diamonds."

"Diamonds, really?"

PALEDRIVER - "Of course not," she says, grinning. "But wouldn't it be marvellous if I was?"

"Okay, but what are you *really* hauling?"

PALEDRIVER - She shrugs. "Whatever stupid things they put in the lorry, I imagine."

"So you don't know what you're hauling in your own lorry?"

"Well, that's good enough for me."

PALEDRIVER - "I quit concerning myself with that a long time ago." She smiles a careless smile. "Besides, I don't drive the lorry for the cargo, if you know what I mean..."

#disco elysium #paledriver

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sequinsmile-x · 1 year

Text

I Want Your Midnights

Emily, Aaron and their children go to a New Year's Eve party at Elizabeth's.

-x-

Happy New Year, besties!! <3

This was meant to be pure fluff, but turned into your classic Vic 'complicated family dynamics/hurt comfort/fluff' kind of thing.

I'd apologise, but we all know this is what I do.

I hope you all have 2023 you deserve, and I love you all very much! Here's to another year of stories about our favourite idiots in love.

-x-

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: None!

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily looks herself up and down in the mirror, mentally picking out anything her mother could comment on. She’d taken time to curl her hair so it fell loose around her shoulders, the dark strands complimenting the dark green of her dress. It was off the shoulder and tight to her waist, the material flowing out from there to her knees.

She knew her outfit would drive Aaron crazy, softly smiling at herself at the thought of her husband trying to keep his hands to himself in front of their kids and her mother. It was Elizabeth’s annual New Year’s Party and for the first time in a few years, they weren’t able to get out of going despite Emily’s best efforts. The fact that their daughter, Linnea, was only four and therefore too young for this kind of event wasn’t even enough to get them out of it as it had been for the previous few years. Elizabeth claimed that Emily had managed perfectly fine at that age, and she couldn’t bring herself to argue that she shouldn’t have had to.

“Well,” she says to herself, smoothing down the material of her dress, “That’s as good as it’s going to get.”

Emily turns around at the sound of the door opening, smiling at the sight of her husband and Linnea together, the little girl perched on his hip. She was wearing a dress in the same shade of green as Emily was, and her hair was in two perfect braids. She’d insisted that Aaron did it for her, claiming that he was better than Emily was, something she knew her husband was proud of. She still remembered finding him watching tutorials online on how to do hair just days after they found out they were having a girl, a look of concentration on his face that she recognised from work. Aaron was in one of his suits, simply having changed his tie since he finished work, and despite the fact she saw him in them every day it still made her stomach swoop.

“Look at you two,” she says, walking over to them as she finishes clipping in her earring, “You look so pretty, baby,” Emily says, smiling at her daughter, adjusting one of the braids that was lying on her shoulder, “Daddy did a good job with your hair.”

Aaron smiles and leans in to kiss his wife’s cheek, “You look beautiful,” he says, looking her up and down, his eyes lingering on how her dress accentuated her chest, a necklace he’d bought her for Christmas with the kid's names engraved on it laying just beneath her collarbone. When their eyes meet again she’s smirking at him, highly aware of the effect she had on him as usual, “Doesn’t Mommy look pretty, Nea?”

“Momma always pretty!” She exclaims, reaching out for her. Emily takes her gladly, kissing her daughter’s forehead as she settles her on her hip.

“Thank you, sweet girl,�� Emily replies, she looks back at Aaron, “is Jack almost ready?”

He opens his mouth to respond, but is cut off by a voice from down the hallway, “Dad, I need help with my tie.”

Emily and Aaron exchange a smile, “I’ll go help him,” he says, “Meet you two downstairs.”

She nods as she watches him go, before turning back to look at her reflection in the mirror one more time. She smiles at the image of her and her daughter together, truly a mini version of herself. Linnea looked exactly like her, to the point where Aaron often joked she’d cloned herself, right down to her nose. It was something she’d lamented at first, not helped by a comment from Elizabeth the first time she met Linnea that had driven her to tears, but she loved it now. Never more at peace with what had once been her biggest insecurity now she saw it every day on her daughter’s beautiful face.

“We need to get going, huh?” Emily sighs, feeling the usual tightness at the thought of spending an evening with her mother building in her chest, she blows out a slow breath as she turns to leave their bedroom.

“Gram’ma!” Linnea exclaims, her innocent exuberance enough to ease some of her anxiety as her smile spreads over her face.

Elizabeth loved Jack and Linnea, the affection she easily gave them was something Emily had spent so much of her early life craving. She swallowed down the slight jealousy she felt guilty for feeling whenever she saw them interacting, a small amount of resentment thrumming through her blood that her mother seemed to have changed for them. Or worse, that she had always been capable of it all along but hadn’t been that way for her.

She’d only ever dared to say it out loud to Aaron, a quiet admittance in the safety of his embrace one night after the kids were in bed. He’d been quick to assure her there was nothing wrong with feeling that way, that it was understandable. He’d only frowned at her, his disagreement firm and fast, when she said she thought feeling that way made her a bad mother. He was always sure to remind her how much their children loved her, how it was her they always sought out.

It’s something she’s reminded of as Linnea snuggles into her embrace, additional evidence Emily didn’t need that her daughter would be asleep long before they left Elizabeth’s. Her fingers soft against Emily’s skin as she idly traces the neckline of her dress.

“Yes sweetheart,” she says, forcing a smile for her daughter as she adjusts her hold on her as she heads for the stairs, “Grandma.”

___

“Your mother is on top form tonight,” Aaron says as he stands next to her, his arm around her waist as he passes her a much-needed glass of champagne.

It had only clicked in her head when they arrived that her mother was up for re-nomination as Ambassador early in the new year. In the chaos of work and Christmas and everything that came with it, it had slipped Emily’s mind. She remembered feeling like she was on display when she was young, like she was something her mother could show off to the people who made the decisions about where they’d live for the next few years.

She’d recognised the look on Elizabeth’s face when they arrived, the slight tension only Emily would see as she worried about the night going perfectly. As if her re-nomination wasn’t almost guaranteed just like it always had been. She realised the moment they arrived why they’d had to come this year. Emily and her family were an important commodity to Elizabeth in moments like this, and it made her feel nauseous, wanting nothing more than to turn around and take them all home.

“Yes she is,” Emily replies, leaning into him, her eyes fixed on Jack and Linnea who were dancing on the small dancefloor that had been set up in what was usually the, very large, dining room at Elizabeth’s house. The kids were the centre of attention of Elizabeth’s friends and colleagues as the little girl stood carefully on her brother's feet, the two of them moving as one. Emily swallows a sip of her champagne at the sight of it, “At least we know why she was insistent we came now.”

He knew how she felt about this, how she’d been clear since the start that she had hard boundaries with her mother when it came to the kid's place in her political life. It was something he supported, well aware of how Emily felt about these aspects of her childhood. He’d seen the disappointment flicker across Emily’s face when it became clear that they’d been invited for a reason this year. That their usual excuses of having a young family weren’t enough for Elizabeth this time as she insisted Jack and Linnea come along too.

If he hadn’t made a promise to his wife years ago to never get involved in between them, when an argument between her and her mother had almost reached boiling point just days before their wedding, he would try and talk to Elizabeth. To force her to acknowledge the upset that he did not believe she could miss entirely, no matter how good Emily was at covering it. His relationship with his mother-in-law was pleasant enough, but he struggled to keep his mouth shut sometimes as he watched her actions impact his wife. But he’d never broken a promise to Emily, and he had no intention of starting now, not when all she needed was for him to be there for her.

Aaron sighs sadly and kisses the side of her head, holding her closer, “We can go home if you want,” he offers, and she pulls back to look at him, a soft smile on her face, “I’ll fake a work call. Take the blame for why we have to go.”

Her smile widens, and she leans in to kiss him, tasting the champagne on his lips before she pulls away.

“And I love you for that,” she replies, turning to look back at the kids, “But at this point, it’s just easier to stay.”

He’s not entirely sure he agrees with that but is cut off from saying anything else at Jack and Linnea running over to them, the little girl beaming with excitement.

“Dance with Daddy,” she demands, already ineffectively pulling at his hand as she tries to drag him to the dancefloor.

Aaron exchanges a smile with his wife before putting down his drink, pressing a kiss to her cheek before he steps away.

“Duty calls,” he quips, letting their daughter lead him away for a second before he picks her up, heaving into his arms in a way that makes her giggle.

Despite everything she can’t help but smile as she watches them together. Both laughing as Aaron makes a big deal of spinning them around, Linnea’s tiny hand grasped around two of his fingers as she sits happily on his hip.

“Emily?” Jack asks, gaining her attention. “Do you want to dance?” He looks slightly nervous, as if he’s embarrassed to even be asking her. She has to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling too widely, all too aware of how the 12-year-old would react if she did. He spent less and less time with them these days, on the cusp of being too cool for them, so she’d take every chance she could.

“I’d love to, honey,” she says, taking another sip of her drink before placing her glass down on the table next to Aaron’s.

She laughs with her son as they dance next to Linnea and Aaron, and for a moment she can’t find a reason to care why her mother had invited them this evening.

___

Emily yawns as she paces back and forth in her mother’s office, readjusting a sleeping Linnea in her arms as she checks her watch.

11.03 pm.

Linnea had fallen asleep a couple of hours ago, as predicted, and Emily and Aaron had taken it in turns with her. Switching out who sat with her as she slept whilst the other spent time with Jack at the party. Elizabeth’s office was far away enough that it was quiet, but Emily could still hear the rumblings of the music, of the conversations between the many guests.

“Not too long to go and then we can go home,” she whispers to her sleeping daughter as she sits down on the couch Elizabeth kept in the office, securing Linnea against her, “Then we can get you into bed.”

The door opens, briefly making the noise from the party louder, and Emily looks up. Elizabeth is standing in the doorway, a confused look on her face.

“Emily, what-” she starts at full volume, before Emily puts her finger over her lips, nodding down at Linnea fast asleep against her chest, her little fist somehow still tight around the necklace she was wearing. Elizabeth nods and closes the door, “Sorry,” she says quieter, walking over to join them on the couch, “What are you doing in here?”

“Nea fell asleep,” she replies, “Aaron and I are taking turns sitting with her.”

“You could always put her in one of the bedrooms upstairs,” Elizabeth offers, “Then you could come back out and join the party, there are some people you knew when you were younger who would love to speak to you.”

Emily has to clench her teeth to stop herself from saying something she knew she’d later regret, and she instead fixes a smile on her face that Aaron often told her she only used in two situations - with her mother, or when an unsub tried to outsmart her.

“It’s fine,” she replies, looking down and pushing some hair off of Linnea’s face, “I wouldn’t want her to wake up somewhere strange and be afraid.”

She allows herself the subtle dig, the small reminder that the kids didn’t spend enough time at Elizabeth’s house to know where they were. Especially during the holidays when it was decorated like it was, furniture moved around to make events like tonight possible. Elizabeth clearly picks up on it and sits up a little straighter.

“I’m sure that's a bit of an overreaction,” Elizabeth says, her voice slightly clipped, “She’s old enough to-”

“She’s four, Mother,” Emily says, a little harsher than she intended to, and she blows out a steady breath before she continues, “She’s four, and even if that is an overreaction, I don’t want to leave her alone with a house full of mostly strangers.”

“You always managed quite well.”

Emily doesn’t know how to respond to that, can’t bring herself to say anything that wouldn’t sound like a damnation of her mother’s own parenting choices. So she brushes it off and moves the conversation along quickly.

“Yeah well…” she drifts off, looking back down at her daughter, “I guess times are different now.”

“I guess they are,” Elizabeth replies, clearing her throat as she holds back her own comments, and they fall into a silence that feels tense. The laughter from the party feels like an inappropriate backing track to a difficult moment between mother and daughter. “Still,” she says, smiling at her granddaughter, who looked so much like Emily did at that age, “It’s a shame, she was quite the hit out there.”

Emily wasn’t going to mention it, not tonight, but she feels her entire body go tense at her mother’s comment, only made worse by the way Elizabeth sighs at her, her eye roll almost audible.

“Come on, Emily,” she says, no small amount of irritation in her voice, “You know how these things work, it hasn’t been that long since you came to one of these parties. And you thought it too, you took photos of Linnea and Aaron dancing together.”

“Yes, because she’s my kid and he’s my husband,” she replies, her jaw tight as she swallows thickly, turning to look at her mother, “Not because I think it looks good to have us here to people about to make decisions about your career,” she stares at Elizabeth who falls into silence, a tiny amount of embarrassment at being caught out, “It’s like you forget what I do for a living.”

“Emily-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she says, cutting over whatever excuse her mother had come up with, “I made it very clear I didn’t want my children involved in this kind of thing,” she sighs, grateful for the weight of her daughter in her arms to ground her, “I know you love them, Mom, I do. But they aren’t…ornaments you can just put on display to make you look good. I won’t let you do that to them.”

Elizabeth stutters uncharacteristically, and she frowns, “I would never…”

“That’s exactly what happened tonight isn’t it?” Emily reasons with her, her frustration dying down as she realises her mother had likely never really thought about it that way, or at least never considered how it felt to be on the other side of it, “It’s what I was always paraded around at these things for,” she smiles sadly, “Or at least that's how it felt.”

“You never said you felt like that.”

“I was a kid,” she says, shrugging slightly, “You never asked.” She keeps looking at Elizabeth, and she knows she’s somewhat gotten through to her, that for the first time in a long time she isn’t acting as if her concerns are unfounded, but there’s still resistance there. This was something they’d never fully agree on, too much time and hurt feelings between them, “I’m not looking for an apology for any of that, Mother,” she says, knowing at this stage even if she got one it wouldn’t make any difference, “I’m just asking that you respect what Aaron and I want for Jack and Nea.”

Elizabeth nods slowly, “I can do that,” she replies, looking down and checking her watch as she stands, “I should get back out there.”

Emily smiles tightly, some of the unease that had built in her chest relieved. She’d never have the relationship with her mother that she already had with her own kids, something she had curated with such care so they’d never feel like she did, but she could live with that. She’d built a family out of nothing, with no real frame of reference, and it was something she was proud of.

“If I don’t see you before midnight, Happy New Year,” Emily says, and Elizabeth smiles at her, leaning down to press a kiss to Emily’s cheek.

“Happy New Year,” she turns to leave before looking back at the two of them, unable to stop her smile when she sees Emily’s focus is already all back on Linnea, “Emily?” She waits until she looks up, a curious look on her face, “You’re a fantastic mother. Linnea and Jack are very lucky.”

Emily smiles at the genuine compliment, something that was rare coming from Elizabeth, and she feels her cheeks go warm with it.

“Thank you.”

___

It’s only a few minutes until midnight when the door opens again, and she smiles as Jack and Aaron walk into the room.

“What are you two doing here?” She asks quietly, smiling when Jack joins her on the couch, careful not to jostle his sister too much.

“We thought we’d come to see the New Year in with you,” Aaron explains as he walks over, passing one of the glasses of champagne he’s holding as he sits on her other side, leaning in to kiss her.

“That’s sweet,” she replies, stamping another kiss against his lips. He smiles down at Linnea, still fast asleep against her mother’s chest, and he stokes the soft skin of her cheek.

“There’s no one else I’d rather start the year with.” He says, smiling at her in a way that never fails to make her stomach flip.

“You guys are gross,” Jack says as he rests his head on her shoulder, cutting off her response to her husband.

“Sorry honey,” she says, sounding anything but as she shares a small smile with her husband before she turns to Jack, “You tired?” He nods against her, already sleepy and she kisses his forehead as she wonders how he’d stayed awake this long, “We’ll go home soon.”

Jack hums in response and settles further into her side. She looks up at her husband and he leans down to kiss her again.

“I know this might sound insane,” she says, “But I missed you tonight.”

Aaron smiles at her, “I missed you too,” he looks down at Linnea, “Both of you,” he pauses for a moment, “Are you ok?”

She sighs and takes a sip of her champagne, looking over her shoulder to see Jack had fallen asleep against her.

“He’s going to be so mad, he got so close to midnight this year,” she quips, looking back at Aaron, and she sees the understanding in his eyes, how he silently acknowledges her attempt to deflect. “I got into it a little with her,” she admits, her smile shaking a bit, “I think she gets it now though, or at least she’ll try to respect what we want for the kids.”

“That’s good,” he replies, “Isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she says, nodding as she smiles sadly, “It is. I just…I just wish she could have done it for me.”

Aaron takes her glass from her and leans forward to place it with his on the table in front of them. Then he settles back next to her, wrapping his arms around her and the kids.

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he replies, “And I do too, you deserve to have had what you give Nea and Jack,” She lets out a sound that’s somewhere between a sob and a laugh, shaking her head at him. “It’s true, they are lucky to have you.”

She smiles sadly, “That’s what my Mother said.”

He smiles at her, the sound of the party starting to count down to midnight in the background.

“Finally, something me and her agree on,” he replies, and she laughs properly this time, leaning her forehead against his. “I love you.”

She kisses him, “I love you too.”

Things may never be exactly as she wants with her Mother, and she knows it went both ways. That she was never the daughter Elizabeth would have wanted, her expectations way too high from the start. Leading to Emily pushing boundaries as early as she was old enough to understand what they were. It was a relationship that would never be what either of them wanted, but Emily knew she would find peace with that. That she’d protect her family from what she’d missed out on, that she’d make sure her daughter and her son had everything she’d grown up wishing she’d had.

She hears the countdown hit zero, the party all celebrating New Year.

“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” Aaron says, and she smiles at him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“Happy New Year.”

-x-

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daddysweetandevil · 1 month

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The Dawn

I stirred in my bed, groaning, tired, exhausted. I looked around for my companion who was not next to me when I woke up. I struggled to sit up bit, I was so full I couldn't even budge myself. So I lied there in bed, staring out the window at the orange and red sunrise peeking over the hillside at the distance. I thought to myself, "I couldn't imagine a more passionate night in all my years of living." So I laid my head back on my pillow, contemplating to myself how I ended up where I was. It started with me taking a risk. A risk that I've never felt comfortable taking, until last night. I finally had grown tired of the way I did or didn't meet people, so I ventured out into town. Now I normally feel like an outcast when I go into public. The great observer of humanity, is sometimes how I title myself in my head...because it sometimes feels like that when I'm around dozens of people. "Where do I fit in all this chaos?" is often a question I'd hear in my mind. So I end up sitting at the bar, quietly nursing some concoction that I ask the bartender to create for me (cause I never know what to order). And there, I talk to the bar tenders, to the occasional patron as they walk up for their drinks for their crowd, then spin around and gaze out at the sea of people blurred with swaths of color and smoke and and basking in seas of musical chaos.

One night when I was people-watching and small-talking it up, a man came up to me, and, without any attempt to be bashful about it, gave me the up and down. "Can I help you?" I asked...a tad indignant but, quickly composed myself back up and said "Hello." The gentleman was about 6'5", 240 lbs of moosle and gut, arms the size of Small Tree trunks, and a chest with nipples that could cut diamonds. He asked me if we could get a table where we might be better acquainted. Intrigued by the fact that any man would talk to me, let alone ask me to join him, had peeked my interest, so I ventured off with him til we found a table to sit and chat. "So handsome, you come around here often?" he broke the ice with. "A few times a month, just to gaze at the scenery. It's kinda what I do.”

He scooted towards me in the booth, drawing close. His hand reached around my back, his fingers digging into the muscles around my spine, invoking a subtle moan of pleasure. I decided at that point to let go a bit of my inhibitions and to let him take me where he wanted to go with that night. He scooted even closer to me, and whispered in my ear. “Why don’t you let me take you back to my place, where we might…bask in each other’s passion?” Then he lightly nipped my ear lobe and sucked a bit. Let’s just say that my groin when from a comfortable semi to a very painful thick bulge and I was lost in his intensity. We scooted out quickly, pushing past the incoming patrons and we crawled into his car and hastily scooted towards his place. Throughout the 45 minute drive, his hands kept finding spots to drive me nuts and in a strange way, they kept me pacified and very aroused.

After pulling up to his penthouse, we scurried up into the elevator, and up to the 20th floor, then was rushed out into the hall till we reached his place. I was in a state of numbness and excited sexual frenzy at this point, not really knowing how to feel, but only knowing that I was feeling very excited. He gave me the 5-cent tour, and he sat me down on the couch. It was a gorgeous, firm, but soft leather couch. The room was large, with a reddish brown oval throw rug in the middle, a sharp-edged square-shaped coffee table, and several end tables around the living room. The lamps were deep red with dim lightbulbs giving the space a romantic low-light setting. This gorgeous, sexy, assertive man, scooted between my legs and proceeded to rub my chest and belly. Normally I’m a rather reserved person, but, the thought of someone attending to my needs for once was so overwhelming that I just laid back in the couch and moaned in delight. His hands groped my chest, my belly, my sides…then his hand reached around my heck, rubbing the muscles at the base of my skull, then his fingers tilled the thick curly mop on my head, digging lightly into my scalp. Never had I felt such immense passion and was at this point, ready to let him do whatever he wanted. His face came forward, and his hands ran my shirt up off my body and over my head, leaving my naked torso exposed to the cool climate of his penthouse, causing my nipples to firm and harden. He wasted no time in lightly pinching them while his lips kissed my little soft belly. My dick was throbbing so hard it could impale a marble statue. He of course noticed, heaved me up in his arms, and with me wrapped up, guided me to the bedroom where, he laid me down flat, he stripped off all but his boxers, and proceeded to crawl up on me. He began exploring every spot on my body. Sometimes I giggled when he found a ticklish spot (like those are hard to find on me.) and other times he invoked a moan or a squirm. I didn’t know what to say except that I was in the most intense state of bliss I’ve ever felt in my life.

After about an hour of this treatment, I was so relaxed and excited that I didn’t even notice that he had snuck my hands into a pair of leather cuffs which, much to his compliment, were fur-lined…but firm. They were very comfortable. I regained some composure and inquired, “What’s going’ on sir? Did your kinky side come out to play?” Oh handsome, you are beyond adorable and sexy…but, I also have a few needs that I need to satisfy, so, I want to show it to you.” He grinned at the thought, but, I wasn’t sure what to think. He locked my ankles to this bed too, leaving me totally immobilized. He then left the room briefly, and returned with what appeared to be a tray of brownies. “What’s this?” I asked, even more confused. “This is my kink, my sexy sir. I want you, but I also want you filled out a bit more too.” I was taken back a bit. “You…you want me…fatter?” I stammered. “It’s not just a matter of making you fatter, it’s about making you want it too.” And with that, he stuffed my mouth with one of his warm brownies, and I must say it was quite good. Nothing like my mom used to make. Hers were ok, but these were divine. He didn’t force it all into me, but he did feed it to me. I didn’t resist at first because, I mean what’s a brownie. His mouth lowered to my throbbing dick, which was straining my boxer-briefs, and proceeded to tease it with his tongue. I moaned at the shock of feeling a hot tongue gliding against my cock. While I was moaning, another brownie found it’s way in my mouth. I ate what I could without hands but, he quickly fixed the treat and guided it the rest of the way. Between each brownie, this incredible, sensual, intense man, fed me 12 brownies, and brought me almost to orgasm 3 times. Suffice to say that I was starting to hurt and beg to get off. This professional edger and teaser knew he had me. He crawled up on me, his heavy body pressing down on my full belly, and he said in a mischevious voice, “So, you ready for me to drain that throbbing member down there?” I looked at him in this desperate, puppy dog face and just nodded. He pulled up another tray, but this one had a fresh oozing pizza. He guided a few pieces into me, his greasy fingers keeping my dick at the ready and I ate as much as I could. I was so bloated and gorged I couldn’t barely move. At about the 5th piece, I was at my limit. I started resisting cause I didn’t think I could eat any more. So he set the tray down, and he started teasing my nipples. Oh he’s good, he knew exactly which buttons to push. His mouth went down on my cock slowly going up and down, my head throwing back in ecstasy and my breath quickening as I got closer and closer to climax. But just as I was about to bust my nut, he stopped…and pulled the pizza pan back up. “So, I know you’re close, but…I’m not so inclined to give you that happy ending if you don’t finish this pizza up.” Incredibly hot and unable to process what just happened, I just opened up and gave in, and he forced each and every slice into me. I was so full I had no means of even looking down. All I saw was this mound obscuring my eyes from what lay past it. He rubbed my belly and tried to relax me, but, then his magic started up again, and he proceeded to start teasing my nipples again. This sent shockwaves to my dick which had already left a nice little puddle of pre on my groin. He took his hand and glided up and down my shaft till he summoned an orgasm with the force of which I’ve never felt, and I proceeded to erupt 9 times, 5 of them projectile shots which landed all over my upper torso. In the shock and intensity of the orgasm, I passed out almost immediately.

When I awoke, he wasn’t there, but my hands were still bound, though they were looser so I could pull my arms in a bit more. And I lay there contemplating how I ended up where I was. His name is Shawn, and he burst back in the room, reflecting some of the orange and red glow from the sunrise, holding another of those dreaded trays…and asked only one thing: “Hungry?”

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bellaxgiornata · 10 months

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(IDK IF THE ASK WENT THROUGH)

HI BELLALALALA! Okay. SO HEAR ME OUT. I know I KNOW THE READER IS JUST ABOUT TO MOVE IN bUt it just hit me cause I have nothing else to do on the flight home and idk I like sharing ideas with you heheh. Also cause you’re my comfort person heheh

What would happen if the reader was like listening to “hot girl music” like really feelin’ herself and gettin’ into it… and she’s like listening through her noise canceling headphones or earbuds, and she’s dancing around as she’s cooking dinner…

then Matt yk alr hears it through the elevator and stuff and then he can like “feel” the way she sways and stuff, her pheromones and serotonin through the roof bcs yk movement. (How 2 make this sexy idk)

Anyways, Matt walks in, reader is unaware, and he jUst goes FERAL, like suddenly he just traps u and then hot make out session turns into smut on the kitchen floor… OK BYE. HELP.

Ohhhh!! This was a fun surprise to "wake up" to! I say that in quotes because I'd have had to have gotten sleep to actually wake up, but that's besides the point. I always love seeing these notifications and hearing you share your ideas/thoughts!

But I'm your comfort person?

[Internally happy squealing ❤️]

Okay, back to your message! So I don't know if you read FFTD on AO3 or just tumblr (I'm going to guess tumblr), but I keep meaning to share my lengthy end notes and I never do because I'm always in a rush to get both sites updated simultaneously that I literally never think about it in the moment. But unfortunately that means y'all miss some info here.

So yes, Reader and Matt are moving in together very soon!! The next installment is "The Romantic Voicemails" which was one of the many wonderful suggested titles from awhile back and it'll be Reader getting some sweet voicemails from Matty leading up to the day she moves in, and the following installment will be "The Moving Day" or something along those lines. Which means one more installment before they live together!! And I've actually told a couple of you that I've had this idea of something like a smut montage installment idea (that has no title yet) where Matt and Reader over the first few days/week of living together get distracted from domestic tasks and things by sex. Because we all know they can't keep their hands to themselves. So like one of them is trying to do dishes--but nope, sex. Laundry--interrupted by more sex. Cooking--SEX.

Which brings me to the end of my ramble to answer what you were saying with another ramble 😆 I could totally see Reader listening to music even just on a phone or something and cooking dinner because Matt said he'd be back from the office late that night and she wanted to surprise him with food. But Matt gets done early with work and decides to surprise her and not let her know, so as he's coming into his building and getting on the elevator he can hear the music and her elevated heart rate from her dancing. And at first he probably just thinks it's adorable and sweet that she's making dinner and dancing. He's just so glad to have her to come home to now--but then he starts focusing on her elevated heart and the slight change to her breathing. And when he reaches his floor, he's so in tune with her he can already pick up on the increase of her pheromones just because of the faint sweat from her cooking over a hot stove while dancing. When he opens the door to the apartment, he's not listening to the music. He hears the way the air is shifting around Reader's hips as they're moving back and forth and the way her lip is caught in her teeth. Suddenly Matt just needs her. Comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her. Reader startles for a moment because she wasn't expecting him, but then he's whispering things in her ear and rubbing up on her, one hand reaching out to turn the stove off as he tells her not to stop. Maybe slams her into a counter or picks her up and drops her onto it as he's kissing her erratically everywhere...

Boom--cooking interrupted by sex. Again. 🤣

That's a really great idea and you will find it in the upcoming nameless smut montage that's coming because now I want to write this with more detail (with what happens next) AND this smut scene would be in his POV! But it won't be super detailed smut like usual because it'd probably be a 20k word installment if we had like 4 or 5 smut scenes and I don't think I'd survive that 🤣 I'd need like a month to recover afterwards.

But thank you for this thought/idea!!! ❤️ I'm already itching to write that scene, I won't lie 🤣 I'm sorry my answer got WILDLY out of hand and became the length of an installment itself, I just got so excited 😆😅

#fftd update info #smutty matty thots #upcoming FFTD installment teasers #smut montage?#Bella answers

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northwest-cryptid · 8 months

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You know I've spent a year as part of a few indie vtuber teams and my experiences were awful so here's a bit of random things I learned:

1. They're not friends; they're coworkers who aren't getting paid. It creates a weirdly hostile work environment because everyone is expected to "pull their weight" by which they mean you need to bring in views so that if they collab with you they actually get something out of it. However since none of us are getting paid for this so I can't take up time I'd otherwise spend with my partner/at work/living my own life to be there for "meetings" and such to discuss upcoming collabs and the like.

2. The Vtuber identities are not created for the team rather they join into the team; and what this means is that you could be in a "gen" with people who do not at all remotely fit your aesthetic and vice versa, and that would be fine but half of them take the RP element super seriously and the other half, like myself; see ourselves as streamers with a virtual webcam so you get this awful back and forth where someone in RP asks you a character question when you're just trying to vibe and you don't know how to respond and then you recognize that your humor doesn't line up because they start poking fun at you for not being able to just improv on the spot even though that's not your thing and you didn't know you'd be asked of it. Then you never want to collab with them again.

3. They have this obsession with growth to the point they will insist on getting "gen 2" streamers involved because they know bigger teams = bigger reach = bigger audience. So even though your team has no footing and absolutely no one is even aware you guys are a team or what that even means, you're already trying to bring in others. This means you are now expected to get along with every single new member even if they're not the sort of person you'd like to spend time around, because go back to point 1. You're not friends, you're co-workers. So if your gen mates decide to bring on some random person who literally says "to be honest I just see you as a man" you're just expected to put up with that because if you put your foot down you're told that you were hostile for even saying "hey I don't feel comfortable with this" Because they don't want to say "we don't want you around if you're going to potentially stop us from bringing in a bigger audience" since that sounds bad.

4. They all try to be Hololive or Nijisanji but they don't fundamentally understand why those groups are successful so they burnout in a month when they learn they don't immediately have 50,000 followers and tons of money.

I have a lot of thoughts about this sort of thing because I think Vtuber teams are really cool in concept but bad in execution because of how they're typically executed, if you're curious about my opinion on this at all it's all below the cut including an example of what I think a good team would look like:

The concept behind a Vtuber team works, and seems cool but only if they are done right. Let's assume for a moment that this is not a paid thing, you're just part of a team being put together from scratch, brand new streamers with no history, no company backing, and no funding. How do you do it so that you can ensure success? Well it's actually really easy, you decide right off the bat if you want being a team to be a fundamental part of your identity.

If the answer is NO then do not form a "team" or "group" instead I strongly urge you to just collab with one another and hype each other up while going about your own streams and the like.

If the answer is YES you need to solidify what it means to be a "team" in your mind. To me a team is the following: A group of individuals who stream under the same label in which they connect with one another and often stream with each other. However I'd argue to take it a step further, a team is themed.

This might not be the case for you but if you want to succeed you need 2 big things: 1 you need to ensure that "being a team" does actually mean something more than "I'm streaming with friends" because if that's the case look back at "NO" and take into account how you lose nothing by not being a team. If you think "being a team is part of our identity as streamers" or "being a team is part of our theme" or "being a team means I'll put time aside to readily collab with my peers" or whatever, then carry on. The other big thing is, 2. You need to be friends. I cannot stress this enough, I mean FRIENDS. People who know each other, people who can spend more than 3 hours in a room with each other, REGULARLY. I knew a lot of people who called me their friend and then neglected to respect my gender identity, I knew people who called me a friend and then literally raised their voice at me because I simply told them I disagreed with them on a subject. I knew people who called me a friend and then tried to cancel me for disagreeing with them even after they told me I had a good point and should bring it up with the group. MAKE SURE YOU ARE ACTUALLY FRIENDS.

Okay so you want to be a team, you have some friends; and you know you want a theme and all that. Cool alright now we get onto character design. You know one of the big reasons Hololive works so well? I'll tell you it's very simple, themes are easy to "market" HoloCouncil is a great example of that. The group aren't just people who collab together, they're each "the warden/guardian/keeper of [something]" be it time, nature, civilization, chaos, space, etc. This is why Irys can so easily be marketed as part of Council, because she's this angel/devil of hope and all that. If you want your group to be easily marketable as a group instead of as individuals (which is important mind you since you'll be primarily growing at an accelerated pace due to being in a group which I'll get to in a bit.) You need to have some kind of central theme. I literally do not care if you want to be a group of magical girls, power ranger parody, or even a generic RPG party (which I actually think would be really cool but I've never seen done before) it can be as super generic as you want because at the end of the day it doesn't actually matter. Funny that.

Your theme is going to determine 2 things, your aesthetics looks wise, and what you stream. Yeah I know seeing that you probably think "hold up fam I'm not letting my aesthetic dictate what I stream!" You're right, that's not what I mean though. If you're thinking that, you've got it backwards.

For example let's roll with the RPG Party concept right? So let's say you have 5 streamers, we'll call them:

Philip - Optimistic, Upbeat, Energetic, Friendly Roland - Stoic, Quiet, Artistic, Calm Walter - Uptight, Smart, Matter of fact, Logical Julia - Happy, Kind, Calm, Empathetic and Yuna - Calculated, Relaxed, Confident, Loyal I pulled these names and generalized personalities out of thin air shush. Let's quickly assess each person's real life (we're not talking characters here) personalities and preferences, we're looking for some overlap here.

So we know that Philip is upbeat and energetic and we know Julia has these kind of happy but calm vibes that's great we can make them collab partners since their general audiences will likely mesh with each other.

Roland, and Yuna are both calm / relaxed and the confident / stoic nature might play off each other well, their audiences will likely get along well and enjoy each other's personalities given the similarities.

I think Walter being smart and matter of fact means he's a good fit to collab with Yuna's calculated and confident personality traits while being uptight and logical almost makes him a great collab partner for Roland's more stoic and quiet personality.

Knowing what we know here we can see that at least in some regards we have a good spread of collabs here, but we're only looking at personality. It's also important to note that BEING ACTUAL FRIENDS any of these people should be able to collab with each other when they want. Since their personality features we're highlighting here aren't exclusively their only traits.

So let's look at what kind of games/activities they like to stream. Again we're looking for overlap in some places, just not everywhere.

Philip = FPS games, action games, and beat em ups/fighters Roland = Management games, cooking streams, art streams Walter = Puzzle games, strategy games, card games Julia = VR Hang outs, action games, farming/life sims Yuna = Card/Strategy games, MOBAs, Action RPGs

okay cool I think I've got it...

Philip is the party's Paladin, he's this upbeat confident personality who "leads them courageously to their next adventure" meanwhile Roland is the group's bard who records the party's adventures via art and cooks for everyone. Walter is the group's old sorcerer who studies magic strictly and effectively knowing more spells than most of his peers due to his years of dedication to the craft. Julia is the team Cleric who's never without a bright smile, even when she's smashing goblins and skeletons under her giant mace, she loves her team but doesn't actually know any healing magic because she cares so much about her party that she just fights anything that dares to hurt them. Lastly Yuna is the team Rogue who's always being a goblin under her hood secretly housing a few trick card decks, loaded dice, and in case of emergency a dagger under her cloak. Her confidence may be genuine or it might just be that she knows she's already rigged the game.

TA DA YOU HAVE A TEAM, YOU HAVE A THEME, YOU HAVE AESTHETICS, AND GUESS WHAT YOUR CHARACTERS FIT THE GAME STYLE YOU'RE LIKELY GOING TO BE STREAMING ANYWAYS.

Now let's review real quick because I know some people may have got lost in the weeds here with all the specifics.

Why does our team example here work while none of the teams I joined via twitter did? For the sake of explanation the example team I've proposed here will be referred to as the RPG Team while other REAL teams will be referred to as Twitter Teams.

RPG Team:

Are all actually friends who can get along and respect one another's time and effort without pushing each other for their own gain.

Designed characters and aesthetics around their own personal interests and worked out possible collab partners.

Has enough outreach in different places that they will be seen by many audiences from the art side of things to FPS games to farming sims to strategy games to Mobas, and they have enough in common that when they collab the viewers who are coming from one of their streams will likely actually enjoy the content and personality of the other members enough to watch them as well.

Can easily advertise as a group since their designs mesh well together and give a clear indication that they're a team.

Twitter Teams:

Constantly push other members to stream more, advertise more, brand more, market yourself more, gain more followers; not for your own growth but because otherwise they won't get anything from collaborating with you.

Were all designed independently without any interest in possibly even remotely working out a common theme among them, no one knows anyone here so we have no idea who will mesh well with others and what kind of audience they have.

We all found each other through the same game, which meant we didn't have outreach beyond those few games, meaning that we all shared a common audience instead of bringing in viewers from various corners of twitch.

People had no idea we were in a team when we didn't have some kind of branding/logo/team name obnoxiously front and center that meant nothing to people who didn't realize what a team was to begin with. So there was no point in being a "team" to begin with because it didn't add anything to our characters.

We weren't all on the same page as to how in character someone should be during collabs which resulted in a lot of awkward conversations.

We were more like co-workers than friends so if someone decided to be a transphobe I had to essentially bring it up with HR, except HR was a panel of peers who basically looked at who had more followers.

You might be saying "okay so if I want to make a team you're saying I need to only do this with my closest close friends and we have to make entirely new characters and start over?"

No but that would probably be way easier :P

If you vibe with someone, talk to them about it; and try to figure out who all you know well enough to make something like a team work. You don't have to enter into a team right away, you could all stream separately at first and collab here and there to see how you all vibe, and if you decide you guys think becoming a team sounds cool here's what you do...

Try to create a central theme from all your characters. It needs to be from ALL your characters though, and don't be afraid to get create with it just make sure it's cohesive. Like if you're all wildly different characters just saying "it's like in smash bros where everyone is from different things" isn't likely going to be seen as "creative" so much as a cop out. I'd argue it's better to create an entire universe around your group of characters than try to say they all come from a multiverse or something.

Once you have some kind of central theme, figure out what each person is going to "be" and then figure out how in or out of character you care to be. At one point I was part of a team in which I had a whole intro and such but I never cared to be in character so I'd still just give my little intro and then move on and just be me and everyone who watched me was chill with that.

Now all of you keep your own shit going on, you have your own characters, you have your own streams, the whole nine yards; but you're also now bound to a central narrative/theme/concept/aesthetic and ta da your team is a TEAM.

Now get out there and collab over things you like and make sure that you promote the whole team when you promote yourself, because if everyone does that it'll boost your exposure organically to people who likely already vibe with your style of content.

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