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capybaraonabicycle · 3 months

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Hiya! For the writers truth & dare ask game, I'd love to know about..

🕯️On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

🍄Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

❄️What's a dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? (also, which character would be involved)

🌿Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity (or energy⚡if you like)

🏜️What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🌸Do you have any pets? If you do, post some pictures of them

I'm btw planning on reading more Righting Reflex in the evening, I just really need to get at least one and a half more tasks done today for my portfolio. Sending you much love 💚🦎

Thank you, love!! This is way too long, so I will put it under a 'read more'

🕯️On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

Maybe a 3? Like, I don't hate it but I'm not too fond of it either. I enjoy reading what I have written more often than not and I like putting [GERMAN WORD] or [TBD - WRITE SMTH ABOUT XY] ever so often while writing, but I don't enjoy changing the story afterwards much. I rarely change big things, usually only a scene or two and a few expressions. That said, I have to read every scene like 15 times before posting to scour for errors - and I am certain I am missing so many anyway.

🍄Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Okay, let's go with fugitive Doctor/River. (Did you expect this by any chance? ;) )

You know this bit:

source

[ID: two gifs from The Husbands of River Song of River saying "Do you know who you remind me of? My second wife!". end ID]

People have been speculating that she is talking about 13, which I get, definitely. But I want to argue that it is the superior interpretation that she would be talking about the fugitive Doctor (or another incarnation the Doctor has forgotten about but where would be the fun in that?). For the following reasons:

Vibes. This is the important point. River says 12 reminds her of the wife, so they have to be alike-ish. And I feel like 12 and the fugitive Doctor have a certain similarity in their demeanour. I think a big thing is how they hold themselves upright, actually, but also the whole Danny calling 12 an officer when the fugitive Doctor actually is one. Also the underlying kindness both of them possess and the end-life-crisis. They both lose all of their companions (Clara, Bill and Nardole vs Karvanista, Gat and Lee - one lives on but they can never see them again/forget about them, the other two die (or that's what they believe at least) and it is their fault) and I would argue they both are thinking about not regenerating this time. (I reckon the fugitive Doctor does not have a choice though.)

Loss. See the last point. The Doctor loses everything in fotj. Give her her wife, at least, please. Let River bring her some love and companionship <3 13 loses a lot as well but she's got Yaz. Which also leads us to:

Thasmin. Like, you know, if River had been tangibly in the 13th Doctor's life in any way, thasmin would have kissed. 100%. They didn't, so River didn't marry 13, simple as that.

Timelines. River does not know about more faces of the Doctor and well, 13 is older than 12. Of course, she could lie to her and yes, River gets married a little carelessly, so she might have married some John Smith!13. But if she met the fugitive Doctor - who seems very different from the timelord she knows and has no recollection of the Doctor's life, it would be easy for her to draw the conclusion that the Doctor is just some other person going by that name. And the fugitive Doctor would forget about her, of course. There's also a good possibility, River isn't actually married to the Doctor but to Ruth.

Time, Doctor's side. Honestly, 13 just doesn't have enough time to get married to River. Am I still hoping we will get those two on screen (or audio) together? Of course! But 13 is kinda busy, most of the time we either see her with the fam (who don't know River, see lotsd) or very occupied with stuff (like apocalypses or prison).

So, yeah, headcanon: The fugitive Doctor is River's second wife.

(The first is Cleopatra, right? Like Idk if there is canon confirmation but it feels true.)

❄️What's a dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? (also, which character would be involved)

Okay, when I read this question, I thought I wouldn't have any idea. But I have. Several. Lets start. Fics I would will into existence if I could:

Full-length Little VVomen.

I know we won't get the movie, but I'll gladly take it as a novel fic. Just for an explanation: Little VVomen is a parody trailer for a crossover of Louisa May Alcott's Little Women and the horror movie VVitch (I assume, I don't actually know VVitch). And it is glorious. Just -

- If it's about a girl, make sure she's married by the end. - Does it have to be to a man?

lives in my head rent free. I want a full story of Jo March saying gay rights, writing spells and sacrificing innocent men, pretty please <3 And I really, really want to know what's up with the Sean!devil.

This is the trailer btw:

youtube

Anyone write this please? (If I could choose, I'd ask Sean and Sinead who wrote the trailer, but I fear, I am already stretching the definition of fic here and using the authors of the og trailer probably defeats the purpose of this question.)

2. Strax fairytale!! written by you :)

Strax as a fairytale protagonist is SUCH an inspired idea and I am hoping very much that you will get round to it some day. But I can't really tell you anything about that that you don't know better yourself.

Or, maybe, I can: I have become kinda enarmoured with the 'Strax as the faithful Johannes' idea, I have always adored that tale, mainly for the tragedy and extremely strong friendship theme. Like, it is so clear that the king's most important relationship is his friendship to his servant. The princess is lovely but they barely know each other, yet. And I think there is SO much potential to improve the abduction scene and the ending. So, yeah, I have been turning that around in my head a bit.

But no matter which tale you will pick, if you ever write a fic for him, I am sure I will absolutely love it!

(also, like, I could mention any of the fairytale ideas you have told me about, here)

3. Heather is an integral part of s10 by @marvellouspinecone

You remember that genius powerpoint Pine made, I assume? Wouldn't it be spectacular if someone wrote that as a fic for me to read? I would choose Pine as the author because she understands the vision best, of course. But, like, I am so grateful already that the powerpoint exists for me to read and dream about :)

(Hi, Pine, not sure you want to read the whole post, but you might see the tag. This is not a request, please don't understand it as such, because that would be incredibly impudent on my part. This is just fancy ideas of mine and a praise to your vision <3)

4. Tenteen is played by Jo Martin by DiscipleOfBrad

So, I actually enjoyed the 60th anniversary (at least wild blue yonder, that much very much had a premise of my type of dw ep) but I still believe we could have done better than bringing back dt for the umpteenth time. (Listen, he is lovely, don't get me wrong, and I liked '14' too, but just - )

I have written a post about why I think making the fugitive Doctor's face return would have been a more interesting choice and I would still love to read it as a fic.

I don't really care whether it would be a simple retelling of the three eps with her instead of tenteen or a completely different tale. I WOULD like to see Donna though (because can you imagine?? Also that scene where Donna just acts like she knows the Doctor all of a sudden? When the Doctor doesn't even really know herself but feels like she should?) and if we could spring for some Karvanista on top, that'd be ace <3

I would give this one to DiscipleOfBrad because I trust them to write a convincing fugitive Doctor. I really enjoyed her in The Cul-de-Sac (which btw I can highly recommend if you'd like some soft thasmin and an intriguing premise. There is a heavy side of whouffaldi, though, I'm not sure whether that is your thing?).

🌿Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity (or energy⚡if you like)

I feel like it always helps me to get myself into a 'I can't do anything else now anyway' situation? That's why trainrides are so good for writing. I just need to be in a situation where I can't take care of more pressing matters, so it won't feel overwhelming if I don't take care of them?

Like, I will rather scroll tumblr than work on my thesis but I won't write. But if I am away from wifi, I might not be able to work on the thesis anyway, so I will easier find the peace of mind (and hence energy and creativity) to write?

Idk maybe that's just me. Maybe it's not working at all either. Honestly, I don't quite know where energy, creativity or motivation to write come from. They just knock and then they're there.

🏜️What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Well, obviously, I adore long comments, who doesn't? But just saying 'long' feels both greedy and like cheating, so let's talk content.

I think, what excites me most in a comment is when I can sense the enthousiasm? It doesn't necessarily have to be for the content of my fic, I had someone write 'YOU MADE A CROSSOVER FOR THESE TWO FANDOMS?? THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE!!" and it made me smile for a day. Just, I write those things because I love the characters and themes and if someone shows that they share this passion? That's community, that's what we're searching for, isn't it?

But also I got a comment today that was just a bunch of predictions about the next chapter of my current fic and that felt amazing! Generally, when people notice things or I feel they have been paying attention, that is SO GOOD. That's probably also why we love long comments. I mean, generally, every second you spend reading the comment is gold, so the longer the comment the more seconds there are, but also a long comment will usually go into detail. Make predictions. Notice things. Talk about how they perceive the characters and why something made sense/surprised them. Quote your fic back to you. And like, all of that is so much fun. It's like reading your story again, remembering why you wrote it. It's the best feeling in the world.

I very dearly love comments.

🌸Do you have any pets? If you do, post some pictures of them

I don't 😭 The place where I live doesn't allow pets and besides, I am away a lot and not planning on staying in this town much longer anyway. So, yeah, it'd be difficult to have a pet. I really, really want to though. Preferably a cat but I'd be so happy with a dog as well. Or a turtle? Or bunny? Or a lizard? I think you could make me happy with almost any mammal and many types of reptiles <3 (not much into insects or fish though. And I feel weird about birds in cages.)

#thank you for the ask!#jennyandvastraflint

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rt-lots · 6 months

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Joining in on the Ian and Rammy ask train… 🌂✏️ (and 🍎 specifically for Ian!)

TW for a fair bit of suicide talk!!!

umbrella - i assume this doesnt need an answer for both of them, bcuz they belong 2 the same story. i imagine ian and rammys story being a vidya game, and i guess itd b a psychological horror? which feels like, pretentious to say but the main scaries of the story are how much ians life sucks and he wants 2 die. so... i think itd count. thats all overarching stuff tho... most of ian n rammys time spent together is lightheared, i think. theyre two dudes hanging out and one of them is slowly coming to terms with the fact his suicidal thoughts won. whatever genre that is

pencil - WAHHH it depends a lot of the time... ian and rammy have definitely made a big resurgence in my brain recently (past month) bc im 18 and can post bout em, but also just cuz i love them sooo much and want to chew on them constantly. id say i write abt/draw them pretty frequently tho!! i doodle them on my school work and in notebooks a lot and they have some of the bigger galleries on my toyhouse lawl. i dont write much directly for their universe, but ive typed... many paragraphs to my friends just braindumping the shit i think about them. so, yeah, less often than id like, but theyre up there in my priorities of ocs :3

apple (for ian) - GRAHHHHHHHHHHH u dont know what demons uve unleashed w this. i already twed this post for suicide but im gonna move this part under the cut bc mentioning ians dad specifically ties a lot into the suicide aspect of the story

OKAY SO. ians family consists of his mom, sister, and him. his dad was in the picture when he was a little kid, like early elementary age, but ditched after some time. his relationship with both parents was relatively normal, they definitely couldve done a better job raising him, but they were never intentionally hurtful nor did they scar him at all. (well, correction, his MOM didnt scar him at all)

after ians dad left, though, his side of the family still kept in touch... they gave very flimsy reasonings for his fathers absence, why he couldnt make it to holidays, why he wasnt saying all these things directly, etc. it kept things strained and tense as the family knew things were being kept from them but never got to know why. the last interaction ian ever had w his dads side of the family was on his 18th birthday, where his uncle gifted him a silver handgun with his name carved into the handle. it was a hollow attempt to connect with ian, a display of violent masculinity that ian would later use to try and take his own life.

i dont have it fully figured out what this *means* for ians character, but its something i go insane about. ians only memories of his dad are him doing stereotypical masculine dad things w him, like fishing. maybe he didnt interact w ian ass if he was his child, but if he was his son, and that improper socialization is part of the reason he hates himself- why the gun is what kills him. but... i dunno really. ians social anxiety, addiction, and general collapsing in on himself are cuz of a life time of mental illness that went unchecked until he successfully isolated himself to the point no one *could* care, not just cuz daddy give him gun.

okay! that is NOT what u asked at all but now u know it. hehehe. of course ian and rammys story is a big wip forever so excuse me for any side tangents and/or general plot points w loose ends

but! as for his actual relationships w family (ill include sister since his relationship w mom isnt rlly fleshed out yet):

he and his mom havent spoken in 6 years, nor have he and his sister. he slowly faded out of their lives when he moved away, partly out of a subconscious desire to isolate and partly due to just not having the social confidence or energy to maintain regular communication w his family. his mom is the first person he talks to when he escapes his Puter, and she's his rock in his remaining months of recovery. shes very underdeveloped as a character atm, but what is certain is she tries her hardest to understand her sons struggles and support him, offering to pay for therapy for him. ian loves his mommy lalala

ian and his sister are... dddifferent. ian also had an average relationship w his sister, but shes a lot more upfront with him when it comes to talking about how his 6 year absence effected her than their mom. their mom, while wanting her children to seek help for their respective struggles, doesnt really want to actively talk about those things with them. shes terrified of saying the wrong thing, and it doesnt help that she doesnt even have a clue what *to* say. ians sister, though, isnt afraid to tell him "hey man we fucking missed you. your absence hurt a lot because i didnt have any friends either, and i wish we couldve had eachother. jackass" post main-story they are friendly and hang out. during his time w rammy, ian does talk about his thoughts on his sister before he left, that being that shes a "crazy bitch"... family <3

#walkie talkie #ian #ask game #would u believe me if i told you i missed multiple details i wanted to share here #i typed this for like 45 minutes AHHHH #i keep fucking answering these like totally unrelated to the original question sorry guys #can u tell i love my ocs #tw suicide mention #tw suicide #suicide mention #ask 2 tag also !!

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sojutrait · 1 year

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thank you so much!!! 😭💓💓💓hope u feel better omg fuck the plague

i just simply started making sims kdjfkdk

I DO im so happy season 2 has started it reminds me sm of old school sims 4 lets plays with storylines and such UGHHH im so glad that style is making a resurgence

thank u!! again im so unhelpful when it comes to advice on making sims bc i really jus Go for it 😭 i dont really have a different approach when it comes to making masc frame sims either

probably not bc its such a small action (like theres only 2 or 3 steps iirc) it just wouldnt be worth the hassle and i dont think that many ppl would find any use out of it😭😭

well,,,, tis the season 🤔

i highly doubt it dkfdkkd

i didnt its from the gallery! i just decked out the inside

ahhh i play on desktop but theres 3 and 4 columns for different screen sizes u can read more about it on the actual mod page iirc

my defaults should be good but my mods arent but i cba to update them rn 😭

( @simarcana ) TYYYYYYY she really is, i just wanna spin her around in cas all day and gawk dkfndk

my only tip would be dont dress them in clothes only if u would wear it/its your style. more so let it be a reflection of their character and their own fashion sense. theres alot of my sims id never dress like djfdkfkd but i know its something they would like !

NOW- DIFJDIFJDK me and nia orphyd have written many dissertations about... That aspect of dante's life but i will not confirm nor deny if that was included

im drawing up blanks too rn 😭😭😭 id suggest if u already know like the ethnicity of ur founder sim to just google last names from that culture and go from there, thats what i usually do dfjkd

10!

thank u omg but no i would feel bad if anyone gave me their money esp considering my tendency to like.. dip for weeks at a time DFKDJK also love u tumblr but i absolutely do not trust u with my credit card information

strip naked/bald, facial features, skin details, hair, clothes, repeat any steps if i dont like what i picked initially

( @thatoneplumbob ) no thank u for enjoying them !!! 💓💓💓😭😭

thats an easy one i dont JFKDJFK thats all neighborhood stories and mcc, i would simply die if i had to do all that myself 😭😭😭 i just pop in and give them quick makeovers

( @cutie-with-glasses-blog ) thank u so much !!! u have a great day as well 💓💓💓😌

i havent, im not a big marvel movie fan 😭😭 BUTTTTT i have seen edits and fancams of shuris actress and i agree i would also sell my kidneys and yours for her, shes so fine

( @wildsangria ) THE WAY I ALREADY FORGOT THIS DISCOURSE HAPPENEDDHFDJHDJ ugh throwback to when i gatekept the decades old tabletop rpg game dungeons and dragons

ive been staring at this in my inbox for almost a month and it never fails to make me laugh yet also feel horrified great job you two

WELL GOOD NEWS I DID and ive only made one hs so far!! buttttt it was before hsy so it doesnt work with the pack 😭😭 ill prob make one for hsy eventually bc as much as i hate building im also drawn to it like a moth to flame

thank u!! but ahhh no i havent been having any problems with uni

thank u, i hope ur having a great day too! tbh its not like something i put like... effort into if that makes sense KJDSK like for my gameplay sims no matter how casual i try to make it i inevitably start adding unnecessary depth into them 😭😭 like ill just be cleaning my house and think hmmm this sim hates this food or once had this happen to them, so pretty much the same approach i do to my ocs!

I ACTUALLY RECORDED A VIDEO i just gotta grow some bawlz and upload it 😭😭 its just a quick cas vid for a sim i wanna do gameplay with on there but im still peeing in nervousness

TYYYY i am doing well i rlly am 😌😌 im on winterbreak so YIPEEEE hope ur both doing well too!

#asks #anon #simarcana #thatoneplumbob #cutie-with-glasses-blog #wildsangria

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codes · 2 years

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HII MATTHEW!! i think tumblr layout updated cuz i cant see the little bubble for responses + chats ANYMORE AARGHHH!!!

I DONT RLLY HAVE MUCH TO SAY BUT LIKE IM ACTUALLY CURIOUS IDK IF I ASKED U BEFORE BUT WHAT GOT U INTO ENSTARS / KNIGHTS?

also whats ur favourite book!

LAB!!! DID IT RLLY i know that desktop updated bc it looks goddamn terrible

ARGHHH u havent asked me that before! i dont think i have an interesting answer tho. i tried getting into it around 2016 (?) but i hated the gameplay and i kinda succeeded in 2019 right before i got into kny so when the manga ended and kaigaku didnt magically get a spin off series i just switched over to full-time enstars by getting my friend to read the main story w me and voicing the characters' diaogue (im sorry liv, i love you). getting into enstars in general was just rlly good timing tbh, even if the main story isnt the best i rlly liked the rhythm game so i just managed to stick to it. it was over for me once i got attached to the characters tho.

honestly i never fucking guessed id be a knights liker LOL. i got into enstars liking valk bc shu came home in my starting roll and none of them especially stood out to me when i first read their wiki blurbs. i can vaguely recall that i liked arashi first and then i read the main story and had to defend izumi from my friend who fucking hated him (for good reason LOL) and even now i dont rlly know what specifically draws me to them. ive come to appreciate them all for their characterization outside of specific dynamics (izumi and leo probably being the most popular) and i ended up liking their individual characters which then extended to my overall liking of knights as a whole. like a disease. hmmmm idk. i dont exactly consider knights to be found family but i consider them to be each others' closest confidants. knights is home and whenever i read their stories i feel like im seeing the most dysfunctional friend group find themselves in life.

... which i guess is just found family LOL. just to be clear i havent read every knights story bc of other stuff happening in my life rn so thisll probably change as time goes on! its not a good answer to be honest. i just rlly like knights and i love the indirect nostalgia and dopamine hit that they give me.

sorry that was a word vomit, i hate knights actually. my favorite book changes all the time but rn its probably 'aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe'!

#ask #lab #i didnt even answer ur question im sorry

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frogtossing · 14 days

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Ask game, 1, 12, 13, 15?

hi!! whee thank you! 1: OTP?

hmm okay so as a true multishipper, i dont really have OTPs in the original sense? but i do have a handfull of ships from all the fandoms ive ever been in that are very close to my heart. (fun fact! i used to keep a very extensive list of all my ships but i stopped keeping track of it :< i stopped somewhere around 270) but right now the ships that are closest to my heart are Jance and Bojere. theyre absolute comfort ships for me. 12: Whats the funniest/craziest AU idea youve ever come up with? okay i havent come up with a lot of AUs in my life time but there was this AU i had that i remember very fondly? it was an 80s AU for jjba Battle Tendency. i even wrote a fic for it (never finished it though) but i think if i were to read it now, id probably cringe to death TvT 13: Whats a character/ship you havent written/drawn yet but would like to some day? ooh okay i think imma say Bojere for this. i HAVE actually already written something Bojere-esque? but its very self indulgent and actually just a personal vent with characters slapped over it :P but id like to actually write a romantic happy fic about them. i have so so so many notes for possible fics i could write about them but never did. theyve been collecting dust on my ipad for... oh god, almost a year now @.@ and for who id like to draw: yep, staying with my comfort ships here but Jance. now that i think about it, i dont think ive drawn Nace before???? damn. ive drawn Jan plenty of times but ive never drawn them together. i might draw a scene from my fic if i feel like it (..ever again ':) ) 15: Have you noticed your art style change over time? oh definitely. my art used to be very anime inspired but im actively trying to move away from that since i find it incredibly limiting. i used to draw characters with really skinny and long necks, very tiny noses, pointy chins whereas now im trying to make my characters look like actual people? so smaller eyes, more realistic proportions.. stuff like that. wait i can add a comparison: here

Dio drawing from 2019 vs fem!K drawing (that i haven’t shared till now??) from february this year (design is based on this art on ao3)

#ask game #yall this is still ongoing btw i still wanna answer some questions

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postapocalypticcatbrat · 16 days

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art journeys are so strange. the fuckers in my head don't make it any less strange. I've been drawing since i was a kid, just never stopped and now that's what I'm in college for. I'm cleaning my room. I found all my old sketchbooks, i don't remember half any of it nor the order they go in. only some pages have dates. my headmate could ID some late highschool stuff, mainly because that's when we got into a game that genuinely improved our life. our mom (genuinely a shit mom) banned us from fanart back in middle school i think.

but then there's fanart of beloved characters that i still hold dear, yet there's some downright primal fear around those drawings. and it makes me wonder how much did our mom fuck up our art journey. i wonder who remembers how our mom reacted to the fanart of two guys holding hands, the drawing of a demon guy in a dress. there's no more fashion drawings after that.

i graduated highschool the same year i found my favorite video game, a game my mom never knew i adored, i also got into zelda at that time, but my mom knew of that. i was also in ap 2d art at that time. my art teacher said to hide my art style, it was "too anime" in her words. my art looks so stagnant until i started sketching my favorite game's antagonist.

my childhood friend entered my life again after graduating highschool. they got to be the first one to hear about my favorite game and the first to see the first fanart i did of it.

college started and i was in art appreciation, the teacher encumbered me to go into the art department. I'm glad i listened to her.

but before that i had winter break. some traumatic shit happened during it so I'll spare the details, but i used my favorite game as a coping mechanism and drew it to stay calm. even with the bad memories connected to the drawings from then, i still actually like them.

school started back and i entered drawing 1, the teacher is a kind lady, she's from Ukraine, she also teaches printmaking. entering her class was a weird time. my mom got sick, no longer fully controlling me, i just discovered my system (or well, the words for it), the main fucker who deals with school now showed up (I'll call them 'C', they are here alot), and an abusive friendship ended. it was alot.

my time in drawing class had me draw a portrait of soneone by memory, i had chosen that childhood friend. it was the first time in our memories that there was a sense of pride in a portrait. god it was awful looking, but it was them, C was proud of it. i don't they ever showed our friend, oh well.

drawing class was amazing. the teacher still is amazing, we're taking printmaking 2 next semester with her. she encouraged trying new things, framed as "seeing new horizons" rather than "leaving your comfort zone" but she also wanted everyone to do things they liked. we did character illustration, C designed a group of characters for one class and decided to use those characters in our drawing final, a large 3 piece series.

those drawings look almost 3d, the characters were cut out and taped onto a drawn background, layered to have deep shadows. it doesn't look that good, but it's interesting, it even had the teacher encourage us to try making pop ups. C indeed tried that suggestion. and they liked it, the mix of art and engineering made C find it enjoyable.

i wonder why no other teacher before was as encouraging as her. why was it always to hide, not embrace.

now i sew. cosplay was something we've loved for years, but now we see how much our mom controlled us with it. i finally sewn a part of a cosplay from scratch. why was i not allowed to do that before is something C and I wonder now. C wore that costume to a convention, it was of the antagonist for our favorite game. it's weird, it feels like we're reclaiming what was stolen from us by an abusive peice of shit mother.

we've sewn a plush, it actually was the critter that went to C's costume. it's in an artshow now. something most people think to submit master studies, still lifes, and sculpture or abstract art to. now a pokemon from a fangame is in it, I'm told it's always the artwork you're not proud of that gets into shows, but now the plushy C is so proud of is on display. it's weird.

i know if our mom was alive, she's tell us what to submit, i doubt it would have been the plushy, she probably wouldn't have let us make it.

it's still weird. sometimes i wonder how our art would look if our mom just let us do our thing. or if we never got into that game. i know our art would be very different (or more consistent lol) if we weren't a system, but that one i can answer, the others will be mysteries as long as we're on our art journey

idk, moral of the story, it gets better even if it's weird as fuck. i went from not being allowed to do anything to making a giant staff out of wood at school (with the teacher's help because my disability said no saws for me) for a cosplay. I went from not knowing anything going on and being scared to jokingly arguing with my headmates about zelda lore while doing art homework. it's weird, it's unwell, but it's better than it was and it'll keep getting better

#tw parent death #tw parental issues #tw parental control #did system #actually did #endos dni #ramblings #personal rant #idk if this counts as a rant but there just in case

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doomeddiary · 5 months

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I pretty recently came across one of those ask game posts and in the format of "what color am i" with an edited png full of custom responses by the op and many of them were racy~~~ (breeding+watersports+more uwu) but one of them said something along the lines of "i want you to kidnap me and turn me into a snuff film star" and that made me go hmmm. Let me go and check this blog and see if what im feeling is the internal ping of intuitive pattern recognition or if this is something else, and as I'd come to find out no, miss mamas did have incest+rape paraphilias. Sad! Demoralizing! Blocked immediately! But i was still thinking about it.

(Readmore bc this gets long and rambly and tmi, cw for discussion on sexualized violence and mildly self fellating reflection over the nature of it and whatnot)

And i was thinking on how the first thing that made me pause was the innocent almost coquettish usage of "snuff" as a sexy fun cute concept, and trying to figure out what was the difference between her fetishization and eroticizing of violence and my own sexual proclivities.

Like being tmi open and honest mask off etc etc, I am heavily into bdsm, and i also love body horror. i adore blood and gore and guts and whatnot on an aesthetic and sexual level. It is largely fantasy as many of the plays id like to do are not safe or sane and i take safety very seriously, but its still something i know i am deeply attracted to and find erotic to fantasize about. So I did notice the parallels of my own deviant~ sexual tastes and hers, and i was upset and uncomfortable with those similarities bc again miss mamas is out here posting about wanting to rape st*ve h*rrington off ST like EEP... JEEPERS! and i wanted to unpack that thought and what real differences there were between these kinds of fantasies, and while my friends reassured me with "nooo youre into it differently/they're just doing it different" i didn't like the vagueness, because what is the difference?

And well I figured out pretty quickly and swiftly that it is ofc consent, which is funny given the context of "how are thy violent sexual fantasies different from thine" but yeah, while I am very into the idea of gore and blood and mutilation, it's only if like, my sub is also into it. And that they're miraculously ok afterwards. I am barred from ever being able to do any of my dream plays in real life because it would not be safe and anyone who would consent to them would probably have such a damaged or altered state of mind that any "consent" would be null and void so while its slightly embarrassing to admit, most of the time i envision fictional characters who are functionally unkillable due to some kind of heal ability or resurrection mechanic where they're not only able to enthusiastically consent but theyre ALSO ok afterwards! And its not my sole source of pleasure, i like vanilla sex as much as anyone, but it is one of those things that i know i love but will never indulge in, because i cannot and will not seriously maim or injure another person.

Anyways, all that to say that whenever i run across the "snuff as a cute sexy thing" girlies its pretty clear that the finality and lack of consent is the main draw. The idea of having your autonomy stripped from you or others as it would happen in real life is what is attractive and that will just never sit right with me, it is so clearly unsettling and unattractive to me. And yes, on its face they are both violent sexual fantasies that she likely won't be indulging in either, and I do not doubt that most regular everyday people would find my proclivities just as frightening no matter how fervently i reiterated how I'd never hurt a fly etc etc, but to me, the fetishization of removing consent is a significant aspect.

So, returning to the "snuff" aspect. The way i see it and rationalize it to myself, these kinds of crimes of violent misogyny and femicide happen literally everyday and are not titillating and having that kind of violence and removal of consent be such a central part of your sexuality is different, it changes the context of everything, I don't care anymore that it's just a "fantasy" because what you're really fantasizing about is emblematic at its core of the real violence worldwide. No fucking wonder she also had incest+rape paraphilias. Anyways.

tl;dr my sexualized violent fantasy is better than yours because the people in my imaginary fantasy fully consent and are having fun and we're all going to kiss and cuddle afterwards

#doomed diary entry

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harpidiem · 3 years

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Hi, you and I seem to have very similar tastes in art and in other things and as a begging artist I would like to know your art journey and any resources you used such as books and things or where you get inspiration from, thanks in advance

Hello! I'd be happy to!

I've been drawing since I was a kid, but I only started drawing seriously when I was about 12 (I wanted to become an animator, I didnt know that jobs like illustration on concept art were a thing). I never took a formal art class, expect for one that was on acrylic painting, and I didnt really learn that much there, and it was only for 4 weeks. (Maybe I'll learn to love acrylic someday, but not today).

For inspiration, I write down favorite memories of mine, and sometimes unimportant ones (memories of sitting at a gas station on a hot summer day, waiting on my dad to buy some sodas so we can get going on our trip; walking under football bleachers at night), and most times I'm a little too scared to post these because they're personal, but im working myself up to it.

I collect moodboards on interest, just whatever catches my eye, even if the aesthetics don't match. When I'm out, I take pictures of places I would like to draw later (abandoned farmhouses, old mill houses, a lighthouse far off in the water alone, a stretch of road completely covered in graffiti).

Books! Ok so I have a lot of art books but few that have actually been beneficial, so I'll post those here.

Color And Light by James Gurney: A Guide For The Realist Painter; I cannot reccomend this book more!! This book is excellent, it talks about how to paint different light conditions, and how it effects light scientifically. Very easy to understand, and Gurney is a master painter.

Adorning The Dark by Andrew Peterson. Another excellent book, and one I don't think I'll ever be over. While this is a book from a Christian standpoint, and I don't know your opinions on religion, this book for me was unputdownable. I read it cover to cover in a day, and did the same thing the next day. Reflections on self and the creative process that takes place in the mind and spiritually, and how we effect others. A simply wonderful book. Id go as far as to say life-changing.

Any Ghibli art book (I own Howl's Moving Castle, and Spirited Away.) These are excellent if youre wanting to look into illustration or character design. It doesnt give much advice, but I find myself inspired every time I open the ghibli books I have.

Sketching From The Imagination: Characters by 3d Total Publishing; this book has many MANY artists of various art styles, and they give their process and advice! Little nuggets of "Oh! Yea that makes sense." are scattered throughout the book, at least for me.

As for fiction books, I read a wide range of genres, so I can't really make a HUGE list of books I reccomend, but I can give a few that I feel have been important to me personally the last few years.

Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach Trilogy, and Borne Trilogy. Rick Bragg's All Over But The Shout'n, and Ava's Man, Flannery O' Connor's A Good Man Is Hard To Find, C. S Lewis's A Space Trilogy, and Madeline D'Engle's A Wrinkle In Time. Comics like Batman: The Long Halloween, Calvin and Hobbes, and Minna Sundberg's Stand Still Stay Silent have been great to read as well!

Movies and TV shows are HUGE inspirations for me, but as a general guide, I adore movies like Alien, Fury Road, Pan's Labyrinth, Lord of The Rings, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, and TV shows like Stranger Things, Over The Garden Wall, and The Twilight Zone. Video games are important as well, like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Kentucky Route Zero, and Death Stranding.

Anyway, heres what I have to say: Use everything. Dont be afraid to deviate from your "aesthetics". Yes, you'll feel a bit lost at times, like you have no identity, but thats a good thing for growth. When I was 12, I was dead set that my thing was extremely cartoon art styles, pokemon, and drawing dragons. While these are still great and huge inpirations, if I didn't branch out, I would be stuck in a rut.

It is not important to have a set aesthetic. Youre not an aesthetic Instagram page at heart! Find what you are drawn to, what imagery catches your eye, what symbols have meaning to you. I will change throughout my life, but my core values are still there. And I think its important to understand that, to loosely quote Andrew Peterson, that self expression is an endless, and often fruitless chase. You gotta shift your direction outward, and you'll discover things about you, good and bad.

Wow, this post is getting very very long. Apologies. Anyway, one more note. Just explore. Collect things, look for details! Note that swirl in the sand, a wrinkle next to an eye, get a feel for a place or thing. I have dozens of books that make no sense together (2 books on sharks, 1 on specifically waterplants, 5 on animal species, 2 on surgery, 1 on the history of medicine, 1 on car mechanics, 1 on martial arts, 3 cookbooks, and a book on the history of wood working.) Yes, I tend to hoard books. Get a book from the library on a subject you know nothing about once a week. Glance through it, take at least 20 minutes hopping page to page, even randomly. You'll find something! Just keep your eyes open, dont stop learning! I encourage wiki rabbit holes 100%.

And please, please dont be afraid to post new things. In the end it doesn't matter if your followers are unused to the new thing you like! As long as you are conveying meaning behind what you create, you'll find your way. Im uh, still learning this. People latch onto concepts more than skill, I've found.

So yea, thats just what I have to say. Sorry for the long, LONG post. I hope this helped!!

#asks #blindsighted581 #art help #art tips

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babytortie · 3 years

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unexpected

unexpected. ❘ stanley uris x reader.

a/n: this was requested by anon - love ur recent stanley fic! was wondering if you’re cool with doing a smut for him? (aged up of course!) if you’re comfortable, could you make the reader more dominant in bed/stanley being more submissive? perhaps and enemies to lovers, hate sex type. other than that, any plot line is just fine.

* hope this lives up to your expectations! tyty for requesting this one.

summary: in which stanley and reader argue worse than richie runs his trashmouth. after burning some pent-up tension one day, the two take a turn for the better and become more than just enemies.

warnings: s m u t. some fluff at end. <3

contains: enemies to lovers, degrading, hair tugging, harsh kisses w/ slight blood, mild orgasm denial, praises, rough and unprotected sex.

* all characters ( including reader ) of the loser's club are 18+ in this one-shot.

~ 3.4k words.

you twirled a strand of hair between your fingers, a magazine placed on your lap, and beverly's head rested on your shoulder, looking at the pages with you.

it was the summer and the group was all back home on break from college. the loser's wanted to hang out and all eight of you were at bill's house right now. on various couch cushions and seats in the living room. his parents were away for the night and the seven brought clothes to stay at his just in case it got a bit late.

"oh, do you think he's hotter? or him?" bev asked, leaning in closer to point at the page. it was some magazine about the hottest actors of the year, achievement wise. though some hot men that were in it was currently grabbing beverly's, well, and your attention too. you glanced down at the page, slightly comparing both actors and voiced, "definitely him."

the guys overheard this and rolled their eyes. they were taking turns playing on bill’s newest nintendo sixty-four. on the floor below you, sat the four a few feet away, this was because they wanted to be scooted closer to the television. even though it was perfectly fine to put their backs against the couch. typical males.

you worried for their eyesight, especially richie’s, since right now he and bill were battling on some game you didn’t know the name of while being too close to the screen. eddie was on a chair next to the couch and sat by you, wheezing as he watched how close of a tie it was between them. mike and stanley were sitting on the floor with them on either side, cheering on who they wanted to win.

this was while ben sat on the other side of bev and read some book that just came out earlier this week. a quarter of ben’s focus was on his hand. it was resting on beverly’s thigh and drawing small, mindless shapes in content. the two were newly dating after pinning on each other for forever.

"i think we should play would you rather!" mike turned his head and suggested after hearing your conversation with the red head. bill had just died on the game causing richie to jump up and cheer while blowing out the other three's ear drums.

ben closed his book and sat up straighter. he took a glimpse over at beverly to see what her decision was. eddie hesitantly agreed when you and bev nodded. “s-sure!” bill got up and pulled stan with him.

one weekend about four years ago when the denbrough’s were home and bill had the group of losers over, they noticed how you all squished on the seats in the living room. surprising bill with an extra couch a month after this, they were able to successfully squeeze it into the room and push it against the other wall.

the four others started to pile on the other couch a few feet away from the three of you and eddie who still sat on the single chair next to you. beverly pulled her head up and leaned over to whisper in your ear, “be nice to stanley please.”

knowing it wasn’t funny, looking at her anyway with a confused expression, you lied. "stanley who?" she immediately turned her neck back at you, probably receiving some whiplash and raised an eyebrow to challenge you.

"i'm serious y/n." beverly laughed dryly. you sighed and replied a short agreeable response. “alright bev, as long as he doesn’t start it, then i won’t do anything.” after, you zipped your lips and threw an imaginary lock in the direction behind eddie.

she smiled at you in thanks and then you two turned towards the room, noticing everyone was ready. “b-being as it w-was mike’s id-dea, he can g-go first.” bill announced while glancing around the room.

mike nodded and turned to the one who still wore coke-bottle glasses years later. “richie, would you rather never wear underwear again or never wear socks again?”

ben and bill stifled a laugh, already knowing what his response was going to be. eddie rolled his eyes as richie answered, “underwear since i go commando sometimes anyway.”

you put your finger in your mouth, pretending that you were about to throw up and mike shook his head at richie. you turned to your right and left, seeing eddie’s and beverly’s disgusted faces.

”okay, eddie spaghetti.” he paused. the seven of you looked at eds, who had already put his hand over his face in annoyance. you and beverly laughed when the shorter boy muttered, “here we go.” richie smirked and continued. “would you rather, accidently send a nude to your boss or your parents? and by parents i mean your mom and i.”

he rolled his eyes, “absolutely not richie. my mom would never get with you and i would die of embarrassment if it were sonia. she’d probably kidnap and lock me in my old room, never to be seen again. probably boss.”

eddie turned to you after the group cackled of laughter, especially richie at the response he was given. the two of you currently shared a science class together in college and the asthmatic based some of his question off of this. "alright y/n, would u rather hook up with one of football players or with mr. jackson down at the science lab?”

you placed the palm of your hand on your cheek, into a thinking position and replied. "well, i kind of answered that question at last weekend’s party?" beverly jumped up at this and gasped. "no way! with which one?"

"i don’t kiss and tell." you smirked. the others gagged at that. “ah okay, i see. that’s where you went when we couldn’t find you again.” ben commented. stanley had been a bit quiet during the conversation and decided to speak up. adding to this, while looking at you pointedly. "you kind of just did tell and admitted at the fact that you sucked off some guy.”

you weren’t usually the type to get flustered during conversations like this. instead owning it as if you weren’t bothered. this helped you avoid any teasing or any richie’s usual jokes. "at least i'm getting some!" muttering in stanley’s direction.

"i swear if you guys argue for one more minute, i'm going to shoot myself. go y/n. it’s your turn." mike spoke up in between you and stanley, trying to get the game rolling again.

you smiled, feeling a little eager at the next question. you looked at the curly haired sitting across the room from you. the others groaned knowing you were about to pick on him in some kind of way. "uris. for the rest of your sex life, would you rather be the top or bottom?”

he blinked in your direction, probably wanting to smack you for the inappropriate question. “depends, is it with anyone specific?” you looked down sheepishly, then back up. is this a trick question? i mean sometimes you did find stanley a little bit too attractive. “do you want it to be?” deciding to quip back with equal attitude, you asked.

the group looked between the two of you while waiting for a response from uris. the tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. letting out a scoff in return, he looked at you in the eyes and glared. speaking in a low tone, you almost didn’t hear him. "uh, i don’t know.”

"what do you mean? you don’t know?" richie snickered.

bill, beverly, ben, and mike started to get the picture together. eddie figured it out just a second before them, when you burst out giggling. before you could stop from helping yourself, you let out a harsh jab. “oh shit, that explains why you’re always so uptight! maybe you should unbutton some of that polo? might help so you aren’t choking on all that innocence."

that only made matters worse, the last pin in place to set him off. stanley angrily spewed some words under his breath. only catching your name, you figured it was most likely something badly about you. quickly getting up from his spot, his curls bounced up and down when he rushed upstairs to one of the bedrooms.

the others watched him disappear from the top step sadly and looked back at you with the look. you had the decency to look a bit guilty, an awkward grimace on your face. "uh, why are you all looking at me like that?"

eddie leaned over to elbow you and gave his puppy dog eyes in pleading. you sighed but started getting up anyway. you laced your hands together in front of your stomach, nerves a bit jittery at being in a room alone with him. "well, to state my case we were all having that kind of discussion! if he wasn't such a prude..." you trailed off.

ben got up, patting your shoulder. "we all know this but stanley is sensitive about these kinds of things. go apologize while we're on break now and we’ll get some drinks going."

you nodded and turned back around, starting towards the stairs and walked up slowly. richie decided this was a good time to be the loud trashmouth that he is and shouted. "it was nice knowing you, y/n!"

shaking your head, you reached the last step and rounded the corner. hearing a slap noise, you assumed tozier was probably getting hit on the back of his head. a moment later a "beep beep" came from mike and you let out a small laugh in relief that they had your back against the loud mouth.

strolling down the hallway, you spotted the second guest bedroom door closed and decided to knock on it. stan heard a faint knock and got up from the bed to open it, seeing y/n he groaned. "oh, it's just you."

you ignored his disappointed comment and bit your lip. looking up and down to observe his new look. he must have just changed. wearing a regular light blue t-shirt and grey sweats. you shook your head and looked up to see his grin, catching you in the act of checking him out.

rolling your eyes in response, like he usually did and walking around him, you closed the bedroom door shut after stepping inside. you grabbed a handful of stanley’s shirt and pushed him against the back of the door. more like he allowed you to do this but you were definitely in control of the situation.

you leaned in towards him and swiped the back of your thumb over his bottom lip to test his reaction. when he didn’t swat your hand away, you went on the tip of your toes and brushed his lips against yours.

stanley gasped into your mouth and deciding to use this as an opportunity, you placed the tip of your tongue on the bottom of his lip. right before you could actually do this, he apparently read your mind and left his mouth open purposely. you wanted to slap him.

nonetheless, he allowed you total access. surprising him on purpose, you shoved your tongue in his mouth. wishfully thinking about how you wanted to somehow choke him with it. he grabbed both sides of your shoulders and scooted you closer, clashing his teeth with yours. not wanting to let up the control he tried to grab, you grasped the back of his neck tightly and felt light-headed. sensing wetness pooling between your thighs from enjoying this too much, you cursed to yourself.

a small moan escaped out from your lips and as if it was his fault, you nipped his bottom lip. you tried to quickly get rid the thought of ever giving into stanley uris. he hissed sharply, tasting slight blood from the nick. uris mumbled. "bitch."

this angered you more. pulling away from his lips, you put on a fake smile. moving in a bit closer to mess with the collar of his shirt, you tugged on it roughly, your face still close with his. "ready to not be a virgin anymore, virgin?" you retorted.

he smirked, "as long as i'm not one anymore, i don't care who it's with. even someone like you." he emphasized in a nasty tone. you pulled the shirt up over his head and uttered out. "shut the hell up." stan hummed happily after his shirt was pulled up to see that you were glaring from his reply. the two of you heard loud steps down the hall by the stairs, so you placed a finger over his mouth.

after a moment later, you heard what you assumed was someone in the bathroom, closing door the shut. letting out a breath not realizing you were holding it, stanley took this as a distraction to slip your finger into his mouth. you gasped, eyes widening, "what the hell!"

pulling your hand back, you spoke and stared in his eyes to let him know just how serious you were. "here's how it's going to go if you want to get laid, uris. we're doing this my way. don't play around anymore and definitely don’t talk too much so i can picture literally anyone other than you."

stanley looked into your eyes, searching for any hints of a lie from your remark. when he saw your eyes looking clearly back into his, he sighed in defeat. not letting it show, he grinned nastily. ”fine by me, y/l/n.”

"now, bird-boy are you sure you can handle this?" you stated more than questioned, an eyebrow quirked up. you held onto the top of his sweats with an eyebrow quirked up. he clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth together so hard he hoped they wouldn't crack. "fuck you y/n."

“no, that’s what i’ll be doing to you.” disagreeing and putting your palm over him. “what do we have here?” you asked out loud, in general all snarky. he let out an annoyed noise when he felt you tease fingertips across his hard length. so, in retaliation, he grabbed your wrist and pushed the palm of your hand harder onto him.

you gasped at how big he was. you tried to cover the surprise, a ‘tsk, tsk’ falling from your lips. not letting go quickly enough stanley noticed this and smirked at you. frowning, you murmured. "ever heard of patience? such a bad boy."

uris let out a small, quiet groan from feeling your hands come off of him. which was something you caught and figured having teased him enough, you put your hands around the waistband of his pants. tugging them off along with his boxers. afterwards you pushed him down onto the bed and before he could do anything, you quickly made work of your shirt. pulling it over your head and unclipping your bra as well.

he put a hand through his curls, smoothing them out from the fall when he fell into the comforter. watching you, he could feel himself hardening painfully. he felt needy and done with the wait. pulling your wrist closer he pleaded. “come on, hurry. please y/n.”

”fine, you’ve waited long enough like a good little boy.” stanley flushed at your approving compliment and tried to hide it, looking down. you saw this when you moved to sit on top of him and smiled. grabbing his chin lightly, you tilted his head back up. while looking into his light brown eyes, you held his wrist and tugged his hand so it laid over on top your breast.

stanley’s breath hitched and you moved inwards toward his neck. your warm breath was touching his skin, feeling cheeks reddening more. uris felt, palmed, and squeezed a little as you sucked small hickeys on his neck. not to dark but enough to be just visible if one were close up.

kissing his cheek and tilting back up, he dropped his hand and you happened to see his cheeks and neck all red. the quick switch of his attitude still shocked you to the core. ”are you sorry for calling me a bad name, baby?” he ignored your comment like a brat and kissed the inside of your wrist. you melted a little in his touch before going back to the task at hand.

you slowly let out of his grasp to unbuckle the belt and unbutton your shorts. you shimmied out of them and wanting to hurry up, you just moved your panties to the side and out of the way. pumping him a few times, you started to align him to your center. before you moved down onto him, you placed your hand on his cheeks in a sweet gesture and silently asked for reassurance. he nodded and you slowly slid down into him, both of you letting out small moans. “feel so good.” you muttered.

stilled for a moment, you let yourself adjust to his length and him to the feel. your hips went back up and you moved in forward, kissing him again. it slowly turned into a sloppy make out when you slammed your hips back down again. his tongue shoved in your mouth when you gasped in pleasure. after you found a rhythm you babbled on and on about how stanley was doing so good for you.

"i need you to put your fingers on my clit and rub." you said softly but still in a demanding tone. directing his hand exactly where you wanted it, you nodded when he looked at you again. his fingers moved quickly, drawing out an orgasm that you felt nearing.

lacing your fingers through his curly hair. stanley let out a loud moan as you tugged the locks. "now for the sake of you being able to cum, i'm going to ask again. are you sorry my baby boy?" he really didn't want to have to see the satisfactory in your face if he apologized. though, after a small moment went by, he realized that you weren't joking.

he let out a small, almost incoherent whine. pleading you with his big hazel eyes, "i-i'm sorry y/n. so sorry, c-can i cum please?" stanley would have never thought he'd be the submissive type but he found himself melting at your praises, quite easily. he liked letting you have some control and for once being able to sit back.

you smirked at him and let go. patting his cheek in almost a mocking way. "awe such a good boy but i think you can wait another minute." his eyes widened and you placed your hands back up onto his chest, steadying your balance before moving your hips back up and down repeatedly and harshly against his. he moaned when you kept going back down on his cock. feeling his pelvis right up against your very sensitive bundle of nerves, you squirmed.

stanley smirked, feeling you tighten around him. knowing you were close was a relief. constantly feeling so good on him made him hard and straining inside of you. tears prickling in the back of his eyes and wanting to cum so badly was difficult. uris felt not wanting to disobey you was more important as he patiently waited. pushing harder on your clit is what caused you to unravel, tightening completely around him. "oh fuck! s-such a good boy. cum with me now."

he came so hard, the hardest ever. which wasn't much to go off on, from the obvious conversation before. feeling euphoria, you rode through your high and his, milking every last drop of cum. you started to feel shaky. before your hips gave out, you placed one last kiss on his slightly darkening hickey.

after you fell on the bed next to him, he pulled you close. you turned your head in his embrace, eyes widening. you knew without a doubt they looked like they were probably about to fall out of the sockets. assuming even bigger eyes then richie's usual ones due to his glasses.

uris pursed his lips, kissing the top of your forehead before he could overthink it. “we need to talk. y/n/n." you tried to open your mouth, but closed it again. stanley used your nickname, he has never used it before. you were in disbelief, frozen, and unable to say a word. he rescued you and spoke up again. "you know i don't hate you, right?"

you swallowed feeling like a brick was falling from your shoulders and nodded. "i don't hate you either stan. this is not what i was expecting though to make up." you giggled causing him to chime in. the awkwardness was finally settled but you paused and asked nervously. "do you think we're worse than eddie and richie?"

he shook his head, not even needing to think on it and responded sweetly. "no, we're okay now and i have a feeling that richie will tease eddie even after we're all dead."

you laughed together once more, agreeing with stan’s opinion which would probably be a proven fact one day. "that's true. poor eddie!" snuggling closer into his back and finally, truly feeling at peace.

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everyday-is-brighter-with-you · 2 years

Text

oh take me anywhere, i don’t care, i don’t care, i don’t care

Trigger warning for suicidal ideation.

[ unedited text: Trigger warning for suicidal ideation ]

[ ID: Traditional fanart of Kamal Bora and Dr. Habit from Smile For Me. The style is close to the game’s but with the artists own touches.

The two characters plus the scooty they’re on is pencilled in grayscale. They’re filled in with patterns or smooth lines.

Habit is younger(yet still an adult) here, wearing broken glasses and with curling gelled up hair at the front that has a big strand coming out on his face. In the artists interpretation, Habit has a muppet-like appearance with fur, much bigger hair filled in with patterns of swirls, cheek patches with a white freckles, stitches and scars on hands up to arms plus an X shaped one near his mouth. A snaggletooth pokes out. He wears a shirt with simple flowers on it and pants. His mane fans out behind him as he closely holds onto Kamal who is driving. Habit smiles, looking at peace, one eye half-open with leaking tears.

Kamal is younger(yet still an adult) here as well. Here his hair is longer, acne is visible on cheeks, much of his face is obscured by the helmet. He wears a leather jacket with small spikes on its broad shoulders, a shirt underneath, with pants and a belt. His face is screwed in concentration as he looks ahead for driving his scooty. The scooty has some flames design painted on front.

To the left of them, lyrics in blue pen from There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths sum up some of Habit’s thoughts:

Take me out tonight Where there's music and there's people And they're young and alive Driving in your car I never, never want to go home Because I haven't got one Anymore

Take me out tonight Because I want to see people And I want to see life Driving in your car Oh, please don't drop me home Because it's not my home, it's their home And I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus Crashes into us To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die And if a ten ton truck Kills the both of us To die by your side Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine Oh, there is a light and it never goes out There is a light and it never goes out There is a light and it never goes out There is a light and it never goes out There is a light and it never goes out

BG is wavy mixture of rainbow colors in color pencil. end ID]

Version 2!

[ ID: The same drawing but edited. Now its got a bright sepia kind of tone over it, is dimmed, and has slight white vignette around. end ID]

------

I drew this when I was sure I was going to take my own life. I wanted to make something meaningful, at the end.

I am alive (unedited text: alive) and now with a appreciation for what I think is the great lyricism and tune of this song. It is so incredibly sad to me, as I sat there marvelling at it, becoming numb, thinking the light is(unedited text: is) finally going to go out--

‘’To me, this song is about someone that's felt isolated and depressed for so long, and finally they've broken out of their misery and into the world. They 'want to see people and want to see life'. Finally they're out there, living it up, but they're scared that the moment's going to end and so they want to die there and then, at their happiest. Such a bittersweet song.’‘

~~From SongMeanings top comment. For the record I think they described it very well. I also think of the view of the driver in the song too, this ‘light’ who knows somethings wrong with their dear friend, thinking what happened to them, somewhat aware that a lot of hope rides on their shoulders.

I think I have many more happy moments for me hopefully, so I’m going on. Like I always do. Like I always did, from when I was a little girl. Maybe I focused too much on the supposed pathetic-ness of my frequent spirals, but I am strong to have come through all that and still try to be better.

Can’t get rid of me that easily, ha ha!!!

----

Some backstory about this picture ig:

so UMM👉🏼👈🏼 in my FIVE THOUSAND page fanfic of dreams \j, OK but like, a pretty extensive canon seriously-

This is some years before the Habitat, they’re both in their 30s or late 20s I think? Habit just came back from his house for the last time, in his mind, he has left forever. He’s feeling a lot of things so he calls up Kamal for a drive on his scooty(I CANT DRAW BIKES, so Kamal named it Harley because he wanted a bike but couldn’t get one kjdkjgkjgdkj). And then they go and Habit has really bad thoughts with intrusive elements along the whole way which he dwells on because hes given up fighting for the moment, and Kamal can sense that hes being held really tight and not being told the whole truth...to Habit, hes the light that will never go out right now.

Would like to say there are some unhealthy shades to Habit’s attachment here, that’s kind of why the picture is dissonant with rainbow and grays and the song. Both of them need their time apart.

-------

I was really apprehensive about posting this because I know a lot of you- me included- come to S4M for comfort and as an escape. But its become so tangled up in my inner world due to my deep appreciation for it and the tough times I went through and am going through with it, I think that’s what led me to draw out this ugly side of me with something I love so much. And like, share it even. But I want the world to know after having to hide away...and I also like how it turned out, ha. Art is art. Some will like, some will not- just gotta deal with that.

To anyone seeing this and feeling some kind of way similar to me...i tell you yet again, you are not alone.

To anyone this is not for: I hope you can respect my choices in making this and please acknowledge that it is very personal to me.

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IMPORTANT: I recommend instead of looking up this song on Youtube, because M\orrissey is a bonafide shithead, you download the song if u wanna listen.

#tw:#suicidal ideation #(no one dies dw but tagging jic)#suicide #personal #s4m #dr habit #kamal bora #fanart #the smiths

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steve0discusses · 3 years

Text

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

youtube

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

#yugioh #ygo #yu gi oh #photo recap #recap #episode recap #yugi muto #seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Apdnarg #Grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #professor hawkins #and then I ranted about BTS #but please don't quiz me about BTS I know nothing about them aside from the music #I actually thought there were over 12 of them because every time I see them perform it feels like an entire stageplay production of people #like a 101 dalmations situation where every time I saw BTS there were 3 new people #I assumed it was like the Gorrilaz where people just show up and then disappear in a rotation #but no. There's 7 BTS members #that can't be right #there has to be more than 7 #is this a berenstein bears situation?#how is there only 7?#I swear there used to be like 16 #and they would be introduced like here's jimin and Jungkook and red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and pea #like is google seriously telling me there's only 7 kids in this band?#this is the biggest scam google has ever played on me #this weird alternate timeline that not only has an epidemic but also only 7 members of BTS

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duelistkingdom · 3 years

Text

you’d come back to me

chapter four: robotic

[first chapter] [previous chapter] [master list] [next chapter] [read on ao3]

Summary: Seto Kaiba has been presumed dead for four years after the events of Dark Side of Dimensions. His return causes both unresolved feelings of grief to be brought to the surface and the past to be dragged right back up. In hopes of helping Seto move on and reintegrate back into society at large, Mokuba asks Yugi to work on Spherium II with Seto. Never one to leave a friend hanging, Yugi agrees. Over the course of the project, Seto and Yugi both come to terms with their mutual grief and grow towards a better understanding of each other.

Rating: T

Ships: Yugi Mutou/Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba/Rebecca Hopkins, Katusya Jonouchi/Mai Kujaku

Warnings: aged up characters, grief, references to suicide

consider supporting me on kofi / battle city tiers & above get first access to chapters!

Despite Reiki’s insistence on continued meetings, Seto had been cleared to go back to work for part time hours. He was certain full time hours were being dangled like a carrot in front of him to make sure he kept going to therapy. Despite this annoyance, he was given the chance to escape Rebecca’s general judgemental stares. It seemed like she was purposefully studying at the dining table just to glare at him. As a bonus, he was able to dodge Pegasus’s phone calls.

He wanted to look at his old projects. Maybe now he could finally objectively examine the AI he’d been working on rather than being so…. What was the word he was looking for? It didn’t matter. Seto had other concerns on his mind. He went back to the room that housed the AI, frowning as he realized the setting seemed to appear different. It was so much more golden now. The false stained glass had a more natural light streaming in from it. And he was surprised when the AI entered. The Pharaoh no longer looked as he did when he possessed Yugi.

Instead, he was regal as he had appeared when Seto met him in his court. He might not have been that tall but he was still imposing nonetheless. Seto’s eyes were drawn to the Pharaoh’s arms, where there was smooth dark skin over taunt muscle. The familiar ache pressed in his chest upon seeing him. He forced himself to look at the Pharaoh’s face. The Pharaoh had an easy going smile on his face, tilting his head slightly. “Been a while, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh stated, a smug look on his face. “Couldn’t stay away from me, could you?”

Seto was a little surprised but figured that it only made sense. He had no frame of reference for how the Pharaoh actually looked in life when he’d last Dueled this AI. Now he knew how the Pharaoh actually looked and the system must have updated with his memories accordingly. This was, after all, as designed. It was supposed to be as close to an actual living person as technology could get.

“You say that as if you can sense the passage of time,” Kaiba remarked, a frown on his face. Could the AI sense the passage of time? Was he better than he thought? Seto nearly rolled his eyes at himself - of course he was that good. At least Seto was being reminded from the jump that he was good at what he did. “Are we going to Duel?”

The Pharaoh smirked and Seto tried to ignore the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach that gave him. “Impertinent as always, Kaiba,” he said as he activated the Duel Disk on his arm. “I’ll let you start first. Give you a fighting chance.”

A surge went through Seto as he activated the virtual system. Still operating smooth enough though he knew it could be better. Almost anything he created could be better. “Fine by me,” he said as he examined his starting hand. Could also be better. He’d need to reexamine his Deck again. There was an option, though. “I’m activating Cards of Consonance, discarding The White Stone of Legend from my hand to draw two new cards. I’m going to end my turn by summoning Maiden with Eyes of Blue! Make your move, Pharaoh.”

“You know,” the Pharaoh said as he drew a card from his deck. “I like your move so much, I think I’ll copy it. I activate Pot of Greed!”

Kaiba raised a brow. “That card’s banned,” he muttered to himself. Was the AI malfunctioning? Or had the banlist changed while he was gone? Perhaps he should give his programming the benefit of the doubt. After all, Seto’s programming tended to be perfect. He should probably simply reexamine the banlist again. “What are you playing at?”

“You’ll see. I’m also activating Terraforming and using it to put Chicken Game in my hand,” the Pharaoh noted and once again, Kaiba was confused. Another banned card? The AI wasn’t supposed to be able to have banned cards in his deck, so Seto decided that he must take another look at the banlist. “I’m activating the effect of Chicken Game, paying 1000 life points to draw a card.” He looked at the card and smirked. “And now I activate One Day of Peace. We both draw.”

“Fine,” Kaiba said, annoyed. One Day of Peace would prevent him from doing any damage to the Pharaoh the next turn. “Can you hurry up, already?”

“Patience is a virtue, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh teased. Seto instantly froze at the sly smirk and raised brow on the Pharaoh’s face. He was certain that he didn’t remember the Pharaoh being this capable of melting him that quickly. Any retort he had died on his tongue. “I’m summoning Witch of the Black Forest and equipping her with Wonder Wand! Now I activate Wonder Wand’s effect, destroying both her and the equipped card, allowing me to draw two cards. Not only that, Witch’s effect activates, allowing me to search a card out from my deck.” He then raised a brow. “And I have bad news, Kaiba. I’ve won.”

“What,” was all Kaiba could get out. “That’s not possible. You just… oh… oh no.”

“You realize what’s happened, don’t you,” the Pharaoh said as he set the five pieces of Exodia right onto his Duel Disk. Exodia the Forbidden One. How the hell did that happen? Kaiba tried to go over the moves in his head before realizing just how obvious what he was doing was. “Exodo Hell Flame!”

Seto’s entire mind was reeling. Surely this was just based on his memories of the Pharaoh doing this exact move to him during their first duel. Yet… no. It was just an improved version of the Exodia stall that he’d done to him already. Surely he was just thinking about it and the program reacted accordingly, even providing the updated strategy. Why was he so uncomfortable now? “End program,” Kaiba shouted, unable to properly modulate his voice. He had to just calm down, right?

That was exactly it. He was overthinking this simply because the program had dredged up an old wound that never fully scarred over. If he could simply relax, then maybe he could come back again to practice properly tomorrow. Maybe he should look into getting a hotel room tonight and attempt to remotely access the code to make sure he was right about his assumptions. He didn’t want to see Rebecca’s judgemental face again - even less so when he was obsessing about something new.

Of course he’d run into Yugi trying to get out of Kaiba Corp. ‘Run into’ was a fairly apt description as he’d more or less crashed into Yugi. “Watch where you’re going,” Yugi snapped as he got up from the floor. Unfortunately for Seto, Yugi had his sleeves rolled up, revealing that he, indeed, had nice arms. “Are you just gonna stare at me like an idiot or are you going to get up?”

Must Yugi be so insulting? Surely he wasn’t staring at Yugi for that long. “You could have moved,” Kaiba retorted. “Why didn’t you move?”

“I was walking the hallway the way a normal person does,” Yugi said, still having to stare upwards to properly look Kaiba in the eyes. Sure, Yugi was no longer five foot even. Seto, however, was still six foot one and had a height advantage still. Seto was grateful for that. He didn’t know if he could have handled it if Yugi could look him right in the eye without craning his neck upwards. “You were the one who came running down the hallway like a madman. What are you in such a hurry for?”

“I’m not,” Seto said, unhappy that he was obviously blushing. He was, indeed, in a hurry to get out of here. He needed some alone time to think. “I just… have to go.”

Yugi tilted his head and Seto was a little annoyed at how similar it was to the Pharaoh’s head tilt. Must they both have such similar hair? Such similar features? It made it difficult to tell if the feelings Seto was having was simply because of how he’d felt for the Pharaoh or because of something uniquely Yugi.

“You just got here only a few hours ago,” Yugi said, as if trying to puzzle something out. Seto felt instantly exposed. “Why would you rush back home when you’d spent so long trying to even get these part time hours? You know, Mokuba seems to think you and Rebecca don’t get along. Is that not the case?”

Why was Mokuba telling Yugi about how he and Rebecca were getting along? Why would Yugi care? It was none of his business. “It’s none of your business,” Seto snapped. “You shouldn’t be poking in other people’s business.”

“It’s my business if my friend’s girlfriend and my friend’s brother aren’t getting along,” Yugi said, a vaguely amused look on his face. “You know, friends tend to care about things like that. Have you forgotten that Mokuba and I are friends?”

It took Seto awhile to realize that “my friend’s brother” referred to him. There had once been a point when Yugi would visit him when he was in the hospital. This time, Yugi had only visited once and it had been with Mokuba. Had Yugi given up on him? He didn’t know why that thought hurt. “No,” Seto said, clipped. “I hadn’t forgotten.”

“Then are you and Rebecca getting along?”

Seto paused. The truth of it was that Yugi was absolutely right - he and Rebecca were not getting along well. In fact, he’d been considering getting a hotel room for the longest time now. Unfortunately, he had to wait to get his credit cards reissued and a new ID. He’d gotten the new ID yesterday. It had felt strange to look at his passport and see that it claimed he was twenty-one. Time had passed for the rest of the world and stood still for him. Yugi and he were now years apart. Mokuba had grown up in his absence and was now eighteen. It tore him apart. It was unimportant.

“We’re getting along just fine,” Seto said. He wanted to ask why Yugi no longer considered them friends. He was scared of the answer. “Are you done prying?”

Why were Yugi’s eyes like that? He swore that the depth of them might drown him. He swore Yugi knew more than he ever let on. “Suppose I am,” Yugi said. Seto tried to avoid noting the shape of Yugi’s lips when they formed words. He wondered if Yugi was still as good at Dueling as he was four years ago. “You should tell Mokuba you’re leaving early.”

He couldn’t get out of the building fast enough. Maybe it was weird to show up at a hotel and demand a room for the night without any luggage but Seto couldn’t find it in him to care about the optics. The room they’d given him had a single bed and was as empty as any hotel might be. He threw himself onto the bed, looking up at the plain ceiling as the thoughts swirled through his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about the AI taking on the proper form of the Pharaoh and it was an uncomfortable thought. He thought about the thoughts he never tried to think about. The ones that entered his head when he was all alone with no buffers.

Seto hated that these thoughts still had control over him. He refused to let them hold him. He wouldn’t let them hold him. And yet… he couldn’t help but go right back to the thoughts of the Pharaoh’s arms… wondering how his hands might feel on him. A weakness he might never be able to get rid of. He was alarmed when the fantasy managed to warp as the memory of Yugi’s sharp, all knowing eyes came back up. Yugi, who could always see right through him. He didn’t care. He wouldn’t care. Why didn’t Yugi consider them friends anymore? At one point, Yugi had been so insistent on shoving friendship upon Seto. So insistent that they were friends regardless of Seto’s objections.

Now he ached for what he didn’t realize he’d miss. Had he lost out on any chance of fixing that relationship? All he knew was that he desperately needed a cold shower right now.

“Kaiba left early,” Yugi said as he entered Mokuba’s office, tossing the new proposal for Spherium II onto the young CEO’s desk. Mokuba actually looked a little tired. He wondered if the stress was finally getting to Mokuba. “I got the new proposal done, by the way.”

Mokuba glanced up from his computer. “I guess he didn’t appreciate the adjustments you made to the AI’s deck,” Mokuba remarked. “I’ll take a look over the proposal. Did you decide on a new deck for the AI?”

“How did the AI work with the Exodia deck,” Yugi asked as he flopped right into one of the chairs Mokuba had for guests. He didn’t know how this office looked when Seto occupied it but Mokuba had touches of his personality all over the place. The glass cases were filled with hundreds of Capsule Monsters and the oak bookshelves had comic books which Mokuba had been collecting since he was a kid. The chairs were all the same - comfy and oversized. “If it can’t handle the Exodia deck, then we can’t start on more complex archetypes.”

“Seems it pulled off a first turn kill against Seto,” Mokuba said as he turned the monitor around so Yugi could see what was on it. A recording of Seto’s duel played and Yugi’s heart constricted as he noted that the AI now looked exactly as Atem did in life. He tried to ignore that as the AI immediately pulled through the draw combo, obtaining all five pieces in exactly one turn as Mokuba said. “What were you thinking for the next deck?”

Yugi grinned as he looked over at Mokuba. “There’s a few decks that I’m sure will keep Kaiba from noticing anything amiss for the next time he Duels the AI but… there’s one archetype in particular that I’m certain Kaiba will just love.”

Seto knew that he wasn’t making good choices right now but it seemed like every time he dueled the Pharaoh now, he was getting more familiar with the current cards. He found that the AI was rapidly improving in its ability to play other decks. This was something Seto was excited about. Something in his code was responding well to being given new decks to use. It was like Dueling an actual, living person that was capable of understanding card advantage and how to best use the cards in the deck.

Coupling this with the fact that Seto was still trying to get back into the swing of things, he had a perfect excuse for why he needed to keep Dueling the Pharaoh. After all, it’d been four years. He needed practice to get better at the game. If he ever hoped to return to the tournament circuit, this was what he needed to do. That was what he told himself, anyway.

He had a long list of excuses as to why this made perfect sense to do. Sure, kc_blimp had a lot of helpful insights as to what the new meta was but… as far as Seto was concerned, the best way to learn the new archetypes was to actually Duel them.

That was all there was to it. As usual, the Pharaoh was smirking when Kaiba entered the room. This time, however, the room was the palace throne room where Kaiba had challenged Atem. He’d long accepted that the room seemed to change. He made a mental note to examine the code later to see if he could make it more stable rather than randomizing locations from his memories.

“Kaiba,” the Pharaoh said with a slight nod, his earrings twinkling in the light and making quiet clacking noises against the gold on his neck. “I see you’re here for another beat down. You know, you’ve gotten worse at Dueling.”

“Shut up,” Seto said, his cheeks turning pink. It was hard to remain stoic when he knew that the Pharaoh had a point. He hadn’t managed to actually beat any of the modern control decks he’d given the Pharaoh. In this new meta, he discovered aggressiveness was indeed better but the Pharaoh was prepared for this strategy. This was actually useful, however. The Pharaoh was, after all, the best Duelist Kaiba had ever known. It pushed Kaiba to do better each time and sometimes, he got close. Close enough where he knew the fault had been that he’d misplayed his hand. “Maybe if I go first this time..”

“You’ve tried going first already,” the Pharaoh reminded him, raising a brow as he activated his Duel Disk. “Are you ever going to give up?”

Of course not. Seto was nothing if not stubborn. He had a plan this time, however. He’d recently added Call of the Haunted to his deck, a card that had been at the suggestion of kc_blimp for a beatdown deck. And yet, when he drew his first hand, he knew this was going to be an uphill battle. He remembered that kc_blimp said that if he couldn’t summon any monsters on turn one, he'd basically already lost against a turn two deck. Kaiba already had experience with that kind of humiliating defeat against the Pharaoh already. “I set a card,” Kaiba said, well aware it wouldn’t be enough to set a trap. He needed a chance to summon. “I end my turn.”

“Is that really all you have, Kaiba? I expect better of you,” the Pharaoh said with a jovial smile that made Seto’s heart skip a beat. He reminded himself that this was just a Duel with no deeper meaning to it. “In that case, I’m going to set a card. I’ll activate this card, Dragonmaid Welcome. With it, all my Dragonmaid monsters gain 100 attack and defense for each one I control. That’s not all it does but, well, that’s all you need to know for now. Next I summon Laundry Dragonmaid!”

Kaiba had never heard of any of these cards before. He didn’t recall giving this deck to the Pharaoh but he must have. He was surprised when Laundry Dragonmaid was… a girl with dragon features in a purple outfit. He assumed that she might’ve been considered attractive to someone that happened to like girls. In fact, he noted a lot of the newer decks featured girls that Seto assumed were meant to be attractive. She giggled and winked at Kaiba. He recoiled.

“Is that all,” Kaiba asked, surprised to note that the boost only gave her a 600 attack and that she was a level two monster.

“Oh Kaiba, you know better than to assume that’s all there is to my turn! Her effect activates, sending the top three cards from my deck to my graveyard,” the Pharaoh remarked and discarding the top three cards from his deck.

Was milling part of the Dragonmaid strategy? He remembered kc_blimp stating Lightsworn and Twilightsworn heavily relied on milling and that many newer decks had floating graveyard effects similar to cards he’d used in the past. “Next I’m discarding Dragonmaid Tinkhec to activate her effect and give Laundry Dragonmaid an additional 2000 attack! Now, she’ll attack you directly!”

Laundry Dragonmaid’s gleeful demeanor was perhaps the worst part of the direct attack. It hurt and she laughed as she managed to dig her claws deep into Seto. “So you got a new dragon girlfriend,” Seto hissed as he doubled over, holding his chest while his life points went from 8000 to 5400. He wasn’t doing great and he was livid that part of it was simply because of a poor starting hand. He needed to further examine his deck to see how to best avoid this in the future. “Am I supposed to be jealous?”

“Interesting takeaway,” the Pharaoh noted with a grin and a wink at him that sent a flutter in Kaiba’s chest. He hated that even now, the Pharaoh continued to have an effect on him. “Last I checked, she was definitely flirting with you. I end my turn, by the way.”

Seto growled as he drew a card, examining it. Protector with Eyes of Blue. “Fine,” he said. Laundry Dragonmaid blew him a kiss. Once again, he was irked. Maiden with Eyes of Blue was never this unprofessional. It took him a moment to realize he was berating the behavior hologram of a trading card. Who programmed these Dragonmaid cards? Did they all act like this? He made a mental note to look into who programmed them and have them fired.

“By the way, I’m activating my continuous trap, Dragonmaid Downtime,” the Pharaoh remarked casually, as if asking what Seto planned on having for lunch. “With it, I can bounce your cards back to your hand by simply bouncing my own back to my hand. I’ll return Laundry Dragonmaid and bounce your set card.”

It was then he was reminded of another thing kc_blimp said about most traps carrying floating graveyard effects, thus the desire to avoid actually destroying them. In the same message, kc_blimp also claimed that people should not expect to be able to activate traps on their turn. That it was apparently too slow of a strategy to work and Seto was starting to see why. His card returned to hand and he had no hope of activating it this turn.

“Fine,” Seto said again, noting that Protector’s effect might actually be useful… if he had another Light Tuner or a Blue Eyes White Dragon in his hand. It did, however, have more attack points than the Pharaoh’s Dragonmaid. “I’m summoning Protector with Eyes of Blue to the field!”

The Pharaoh raised a brow, a sly smirk on his face. “Nice card,” the Pharaoh teased. “I would think that your type would be a little more dragon and a little less knight, however.”

“Shut up,” Seto said reflexively, knowing that he shouldn’t attack because he didn’t know the full effects of either continuous card on the field. For all he knew, they could stop him from attacking directly. At the moment, Seto didn’t care. He was flustered and angry. “I’m attacking directly!” To his great surprise, Protector’s direct attack landed, dropping the Pharaoh from 8000 to 7200 life points. Seto gave a light ‘tch’. “Surprised you let me do that.”

Of course the Pharaoh hadn’t even flinched from the attack. He merely shrugged. “I thought I would even the playing field a bit.”

“Whatever you say, Pharaoh,” Seto huffed, unsure what the Pharaoh had planned next. This archetype was unfamiliar to Seto and he still was trying to figure out how the effects synergized without knowing the rest of the decklist. He needed to figure out the win condition of this deck. “I end my turn.”

“My turn, then.” The Pharaoh drew a card, a raised brow appearing on his face. “I’m afraid you’ve been playing right into my hands, Kaiba. I’m discarding Dragonmaid Ernus to activate her effect, allowing me to special summon Laundry Dragonmaid back to the field, leaving me a normal summon! Say hello to Nurse Dragonmaid!”

This time, a low level girl with dragon features in pink appeared, giggling and leaning over to whisper something to Laundry Dragonmaid. Both of them had 800 attack, meaning neither of them could destroy Protector with Eyes of Blue without destroying themselves. What was the Pharaoh playing at? Suddenly, Nurse Dragonmaid winked at Kaiba as Laundry Dragonmaid laughed. “I still have the upper hand,” Kaiba responded, clipped. “You’d have to crash one of your monsters to get my life points and that would reduce the other’s attack by 100.”

Both Dragonmaids looked offended by this statement of fact. “Looks can be deceiving, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh responded. “I’m entering my Battle Phase and that causes Laundry Dragonmaid’s effect to activate, special summoning Dragonmaid Nudyarl! Now Dragonmaid Downtime activates, bouncing Nurse Dragonmaid back to my hand and sending your set card back to your hand!”

Kaiba was surprised as he watched Laundry Dragonmaid transform before his eyes into the massive purple dragon, swirling in front with a snarl. Nurse Dragonmaid gave a cheek wave as she dissolved and Kaiba’s set card once again bounced back to his hand. So much for battle traps, Seto thought acidly. The dragon’s stats were good - a level seven with 2700 attack that could easily destroy his monster. “I see,” Seto said. It seemed that the girls themselves were not there for attack but instead to bring out these new monsters. “Clever.”

“Nudyar, attack Protector with Eyes of Blue,” the Pharaoh said. Instantly, Nudyar’s mouth opened, a stream of water washed away Protector and destroyed him. Kaiba gave a soft ‘tch’ as his life points drained down from 5400 to 3500. He was already calculating in his head what he would need to do to counter something like this. “That ends my turn.”

Kaiba drew and was semi grateful for what he grabbed. “I activate Cards of Consonance to discard the White Stone of Legend,” Kaiba said as he started thinking about the best way to handle what the Pharaoh had out. “That allows me to draw two. And because I discarded the White Stone of Legend, I can add a Blue Eyes White Dragon to my hand. Next, I summon Maiden with Eyes of Blue!”

Maiden appeared, flipping her long white hair over her shoulder and glaring down the massive dragon in front of her. As per usual, she was strictly professional. “You really like your Blue Eyes cards, don’t you,” the Pharaoh remarked, a raised brow. “Just like Priest Set did, actually.”

Seto’s blood went ice cold at the mention of Priest Set. He’d met some of the Priests when he’d journeyed to the afterlife and yet… he still felt a disconnect from the reality of the Pharaoh’s existence. It meant that magic was real. He pushed it aside again. “Whatever,” he responded as he set Call of the Haunted and Rage with Eyes of Blue. Perhaps he might stand a chance. “I set two cards and end my turn.”

“My turn! I resummon Nurse Dragonmaid. And now I activate Dragonmaid Welcome to add Parlor Dragonmaid to my hand. Next I’m discarding Dragonmaid Lorpar to negate Maiden,” the Pharaoh remarked and instantly Seto internally swore.

“You targeted Maiden,” Seto said, well aware that Rage with Eyes of Blue cannot activate now. “Her effect activates, summoning Blue Eyes White Dragon to the field.”

The familiar look of the white glow filled the field from Maiden and Blue Eyes White Dragon came out onto the field, snarling at the Pharaoh. “Ah,” the Pharaoh remarked, a raised brow. “In that case, I’m entering the battle phase, activating Nurse Dragonmaid’s effect to special summon Dragonmaid Enrus! And now I discard Dragonmaid Tinkhec to boost Ernus!”

Dragonmaid Ernus was a dragon of a similar shape to Dragonmaid Nudyarl and unfortunately, when boosted, she now had 4800 attack - more than enough to end the duel. At least now he understood the win condition of the Dragonmaid archetype. Seto closed his eyes, and whispered, “Of course.”

“Enrus attacks Blue Eyes White Dragon,” the Pharaoh said and Seto refused to watch as his Blue Eyes White Dragon was destroyed. Even if he activated Call of the Haunted, it wouldn’t matter. Maiden had 0 attack points and her effect was a hard once per a turn. The effect had been used up and now she was defenseless. Seto had no way of redirecting the attack. “And now Nudyral destroys Maiden!”

“End program,” Seto said quietly as his life points hit 0. When he opened his eyes, he was standing in an empty room and left with only thoughts of how to best rearrange his deck. Focusing on that helped as he turned and walked out.

#rivalshipping #rivalshipping fanfiction #dm rivalshipping #duel monsters rivalshipping #dm rivalshipping fanfiction #myfanfic #fic: you'd come back to me

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lilypixels · 3 years

Note

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

#if there’s something messed up in this string of text #ignore it cause I’m not proofreading again ajdbd #I did not realize there were so many questions pls #asks #jade why 😔💜

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