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bookclub4m · 2 months

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Episode 192 - Non-Fiction Graphic Novels & Comics

This episode we’re discussing the format of Non-Fiction Graphic Novels & Comics! We talk about what we even mean when we say “non-fiction,” comics vs. graphic novels, art vs. writing, memoirs vs. other stuff, and more. Plus: It’s been over 365 days since our last gorilla attack!

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray | Jam Edwards

Join our Discord Server!

Things We Read (or tried to…)

Moi aussi je voulais l'emporter by Julie Delporte

This Woman's Work by Julie Delporte, translated by Helge Dascher and Aleshia Jensen

Sông by Hài-Anh and Pauline Guitton

Kimiko Does Cancer by Kimiko Tobimatsu and Keet Geniza

Why I Adopted by Husband by Yuta Yagi

The Art and Life of Hilma af Klint by Ylva Hillström, translated by Karin Eklund

Go to Sleep (I Miss You): Cartoons from the Fog of New Parenthood by Lucy Knisley

Nuking Alaska: Notes of an Atomic Fugitive by Peter Dunlap-Shohl

My Brain is Different: Stories of ADHD and Other Developmental Disorders by Monzusu, translated by Ben Trethewey

The Comic Book Guide to Growing Food: Step-by-Step Vegetable Gardening for Everyone by Joseph Tychonievich and Liz Kozik

Other Media We Mentioned

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

Fun Home (musical) (Wikipedia)

Maus by Art Spiegelman

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, translated by Mattias Ripa

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton

Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud

The Essential Dykes To Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

Displacement by Lucy Knisley

Pedro and Me: Friendship, Loss, and What I Learned and Judd Winick

Melody: Story of a Nude Dancer by Sylvie Rancourt, translated by Helge Dascher

Kid Gloves by Lucy Knisley

The Mental Load by Emma

The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechdel

What Is Obscenity?: The Story of a Good for Nothing Artist and Her Pussy by Rokudenashiko

Homestar Runner

Button Pusher by Tyler Page

Last of the Sandwalkers by Jay Hosler

Clan Apis by Jay Hosler

Ping-pong by Zviane

Dumb: Living Without a Voice by Georgia Webber

When David Lost His Voice by Judith Vanistendael

Blankets by Craig Thompson

Smile by Raina Telegmeier

Dog Man by Dav Pilkey

Sensible Footwear: A Girl's Guide by Kate Charlesworth

Links, Articles, and Things

Harvey Pekar (Wikipedia)

Joe Sacco (Wikipedia)

Japanese adult adoption (Wikipedia)

In the name of the queer: Sailor Moon's LGBTQ legacy

The Spectre of Orientalism in Craig Thompson’s Habibi

Cultural Appropriation in Craig Thompson’s Graphic Novel Habibi

35 Non-fiction Graphic Novels by BIPOC Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

This Place: 150 Years Retold

Zodiac: A Graphic Memoir by Ai Weiwei with Elettra Stamboulis & Gianluca Costantini

Nat Turner by Kyle Baker

The Talk by Darrin Bell

The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui

I’m a Wild Seed by Sharon Lee De la Cruz

Messy Roots: A Graphic Memoir of a Wuhanese American by Laura Gao

Stamped from the Beginning: A Graphic History of Racist Ideas in America by Joel Christian Gill and Ibram X. Kendi

Wake: The Hidden History of Women-Led Slave Revolts by Rebecca Hall and Hugo Martinez

The 500 Years of Resistance Comic Book by Gord Hill

Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations by Mira Jacob

The American Dream? A Journey on Route 66 Discovering Dinosaur Statues, Muffler Man, and the Perfect Breakfast Burrito: a Graphic Memoir by Shing Yin Khor

Banned Book Club by Kim Hyun Sook, Ryan Estrada, and Ko Hyung-Ju

In Limbo by Deb J.J. Lee

This Country: Searching for Home in (Very) Rural America by Navied Mahdavian

Mexikid: A Graphic Memoir by Pedro Martín

Monstrous: A Transracial Adoption Story by Sarah Myer

Steady Rollin': Preacher Kid, Black Punk and Pedaling Papa by Fred Noland

Citizen 13660 by Mine Okubo

Your Black Friend and Other Strangers by Ben Passmore

Kwändǖr by Cole Pauls

Worm: A Cuban American Odyssey by Edel Rodriguez

Power Born of Dreams: My Story is Palestine by Mohammad Sabaaneh

A First Time for Everything by Dan Santat

Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood by Marjane Satrapi

Grandmothers, Our Grandmothers: Remembering the "Comfort Women" of World War II by Han Seong-Won

Death Threat by Vivek Shraya and Ness Lee

Palimpsest: Documents From A Korean Adoption by Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom

Big Black: Stand at Attica by Frank "Big Black" Smith, Jared Reinmuth, and Améziane

Victory. Stand!: Raising My Fist for Justice by Tommie Smith, Dawud Anyabwile, and Derrick Barnes

The High Desert by James Spooner

They Called Us Enemy by George Takei, Justin Eisinger, Steven Scott, and Harmony Becker

Feelings by Manjit Thapp

The Black Panther Party: A Graphic Novel History by David F. Walker and Marcus Kwame Anderson

Now Let Me Fly: A Portrait of Eugene Bullard by Ronald Wimberly and Braham Revel

Bonus list: 21 Non-Fiction Manga

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

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#podcasts #libraries #non-fiction #graphic novels #comics

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kaiparker-avengerssmut · 3 years

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Their Doll 8

Let me in

B.Barnes x Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis: y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n gets emotional

Warnings: swearing, feelings

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Life at the tower was...tiring, to say the least. During my free time I often found myself in the gym, lobbing knives at a target and trying my hardest not to biting one in Steve's chest every time he would correct my technique. When I wasn't trying to murder the avenger in cold blood, I was usually dragged into things by the other: briefings and debriefing for missions I'd never go on, my dad's parties, group training sessions and study periods with Bruce in his labs to name a few.

But for now, I was huddled in my rooms - fresh out of a hot shower after a brutal two hour training session and four mile run with Natasha - curled up on my bed and attempting to catch up on a few of the films I'd missed. But the exhaustion and drowsiness clouded my eyes, the noise from the TV merely in the background as I felt my eyes growing heavier by the second.

A sharp knock at the door snapped my out of my lowsey state, the people movie across the screen simple a blur of colour as my eyes darted past the tv and over to the door.

"Mr Stark is waiting at your door. Would you like me to let him in?" FRIDAY's evenly calm voice chimed, making me groan and mumble a 'no' into my pillows. The last person I wanted to see right now was my dad.

"Come on kid, let me in." My dad called from the other side of the door, and I could practically hear him roll his eyes and shake his head when I stayed silent. When he spoke again, it wasn't directed at me. "FRIDAY, override command and open the door."

"Wait! That's hardly fair!" I whined like a five year old, groaning again when the door swung open and my dad stood on the other side, quite clearly just as exhausted as I was.

"Get used to it, kiddo. Life isn't fair." Tony chided, walking over to my bed. I tried to shuffle away slightly when I felt the bed dip, my dad perching on the edge as his eyes scanned over the room. "I see you haven't decorated yet." He commented casually, as if nothing had ever happened between us.

"Yeah, well, I thought It'd be a shame to spend so much time on something when you're probably waiting to kick me out anyway." I mumbled, refusing to look at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you, y/n? Ever since you got back you've been-"

"Acting different?" I cut in, and when Tony simply swallowed thickly I nodded. "Funny that, seeing as I was kidnapped and tortured for three years. Not to mention made to kill people for another year after that."

"Y/n I'm sorry..."

"But you're not! You can't be, otherwise you'd actually have tried to save me, rather than leaving me to rot!" My voice cracked, tears pricked at my eyes and I now sat up straight in my bed, facing my dad but not looking him in the eye. "And you can't change that, you can't go back in the past and fix your mistake. And trying to fix it now sure as hell won't work, so I suggest you leave before I'm tempted to use you as my target for my training session tomorrow." I raised my voice, eyes now keeping his captive as the tears rolled freely down my cheeks.

"Oh, kid, they broke you." Tony murmured, cupping my cheek with his hand, eyes swimming with sorrow. Sorrow that I didn't want.

"You can't fix me either, because I'm not broken!" I said harsher now, voice only getting louder. "I don't need to be fixed..." I trailed off, voice barely above a whisper Joe as my eyes broke the contact, averting to my lap as the tears dropped onto the bed sheets.

That's how I found myself in my fathers arms, face pressed against his shoulder as the sobs made my body shake, hiccups escaping me as I tried to speak.

"A-all I needed W-was my D-dad, and yo- you took him f-from me!" I wailed, hands clutching my dad's shirt and his arms wrapped protectively around my shoulder, hands rubbing circles over my back soothingly.

"I know, kiddo. I'm sorry."

...

"Who is that?" Clint frowned, staring at the pictures scattered over the table in front of Natasha and Steve as they studied them deeply, brows creased in thought.

"Our newest pain in the ass." Tony answered for them, slapping a thick folder down in front of Clint as he said so. The marksman was quick to pick it up, flicking through the documents, news stories and information sheets greedily.

"The...winter soldier?" He asked, looking at the three superheroes in front of him as if they'd gone mad. "But he's a ghost story!"

"I've seen him. Been shot by him, actually." Nat said, an sadistically proud smirk forming on her lips with her last words, almost as if it were an achievement.

"We're trying to find out more about him, maybe that way we can beat him." Steve explained, sitting back in his chair with crossed arms as he huffed in defeat, sick to death with staring at the same five pictures all morning.

Y/n walked in, a skip in her step as she crossed the room to Tony.

"Morning, dad." She greeted, placing a quick kiss to his cheek and heading over to the cupboard to grab a mug. Clint and Natasha frowned in confusion, looking between the two as if they'd witnessed pigs fly.

Tony shrugged, y/n too preoccupied with making herself a coffee to notice the avengers' reactions. When her coffee was done, y/n swiped her mug from under the machine and sipped happily, letting out a content sigh before wandering over to stand behind Natasha.

"What are you working on?" She asked, peering over the spy's shoulder to get a glimpse of the pictures.

A loud smash crashed through the room, Tony's eyes widening in shock and Natasha jumping from her seat in order to not get covered in spilt coffee. Y/n stood paralysed, eyes never leaving the photo in front of her as she started at the Soldier. Steve frowned deeply, studying the girl as her eyes glossed over with with what seemed to be...sadness.

Clint was already at her side, a comforting hand on her shoulder as they all asked y/n what had happened and if she was alright. It was like a constant ringing in her ear interrupted their words before they reached her ears, and y/n suddenly felt nauseous as she starred at the bright red star on the soldier's arm, his long and messy dark hair shrouding his face and his leather clad, muscular body. Only his cerulean blue eyes could be seen, the rest of his face covered in a black mask she didn't usually see him in.

"I-I need some air." She stuttered, stumbling blindly out of the room and down the stairs, tipping over a few steps from the bottom and tumbling down the last few. She quickly pulled herself to her feet, hearing still ringing and vision offset, hazy, as she scrambled for the double glass doors. Luckily they already stood open, so she flew through them and out into the busy streets of New York.

Y/n found herself colliding will someone almost instantly, angry shouts of 'hey, watch it!' And 'look where the fuck you're going, kid!' Being called after her like a chorus as she pushed through the bustling people.

She finally stopped, dropping to her knees and simply staring straight ahead, no intended subject in her line of vision as she tried to comprehend the-the grief, at seeing the a soldier's face again.

It had only been two weeks, and yet two weeks without him, his touch, his scent - it felt like an eternity to y/n now. She hasn't registered what her feeling meant for him before, liking him beyond a source of comfort had just felt...wrong, after all he'd done, and yet y/n couldn't deny it.

She was in love with the Winter Soldier, and she didn't even know his name.

...

I wasn't aware of when someone had found me, nor of how they got me back to the tower or even how I was now stood staring blankly out of the window that stood next to my bed. I gazed longingly, almost as if I stared long enough, hard enough, he'd appear.

But of course he wouldn't, he was probably half way across the world, knowing HYDRA. A soft knock on my door and my head was turning, facing my visitor with a look of pure grief and want. Desperate, unhinged want that could eat you up from inside out and you'd still feel it.

"Hey, y/n. Can I talk to you for a moment?" Nat asked tentatively, clearing trying to to disturb my shaken up state. I nodded, offering a small smile which she returned as I now faced her. She walked up to me, talking my hands him hers and playing with the as she spoke, eyes kind and full of understanding.

"There's a mission, and we want you to go." She said calmly, almost as if the mere thought of it would send me into some kind of heart attack.

"Okay," I begun, eyes flitting down to the floor before back up again. "What is it? Aren't you scared that I'm still HYDRA and all I'd do is stab someone in the back?"

"Not exactly." Nat informed me with a smile, amusement glinting in her eyes at my assumption. "For starters, we all trust you, well maybe not steve - but everyone else does." Nat and I both laughed slightly. "And I think you wouldn't have it any other way it to go on the mission yourself." Nat finished.

"How come?" I asked, brow raised.

"There's been a lead..." she started. "On the winter soldier. We thought you might want to help check it out, possibly capture him. Your powers may be the best chance we have a detaining someone as strong as him." Nat spoke. "And if we can detain him.."

"We can save him." I finished.

"Exactly."

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imgoodloveenjoy · 3 years

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What down, joe?

So I finally got around to watching the episode of ChicagoMed that we all missed due to those idiots at the Capitol. SMH but here we go into the MESS & my feelings lol

April

What does April want? That’s the name of her arc cause she needs to figure it out. I do feel her on wanting to stay in the COVID ward because it gives her a sense of purpose but her acting as though Ethan “took” that from her is ridiculous: 1. She never let Ethan know that she felt that way, maybe that would’ve swayed his decision a bit and 2. She’s been a nurse for what I’m assuming is years, she knows that nurses rotate positions in hospitals so her being rotated out to the ED shouldn’t have been such a blow- its almost like she expected special treatment & took it personally that she didn’t get that and was expected to rotate out like all the other nurses. In and regards to Ethan, she needs to figure out what she wants from him; it feels like she’s on the fence about resuming a romantic relationship, and that’s fine, but she also acts as though he should be doing things for her because of implied lingering romantic feelings- feels like she’s using him a bit and he’s being a doormat about it.

I’ve noticed that she’s moving as though Ethan should be a mind reader and know what she’s thinking and feeling for a while. When she discovered that she was having fertility issues, she lashed out at him without telling him about it so then he was stuck on stupid thinking they were still on the same page about having a baby. When she was feeling like there wasn’t any romance in their relationship since starting IVF, she took that out on him without telling him how she felt. When she felt like she found her purpose in the COVID ward, she didn’t say anything to Ethan, just gave him attitude. Girl, he’s not a psychic, tell him what you’re feeling! I do feel like the storyline of her getting involved in the Will’s new crusade with the trail medicine is a way for them both to undermine Ethan, his new elevated position and the new hierarchy in the ED – neither of them respects him as a peer or senior at this point.

I would love for April to have something else to focus on. I know that the writers have talked about her re-assessing how she’s maneuvering as a caregiver & I think that’s great! I feel like she can receive more responsibility, like a sort of promotion (idk what that means to nurses), and has to work through the struggle of those new responsibilities (without Ethan trying to save her) and become a more confident & capable nurse. I do think eventually she has to sit with herself and assess her personal life: does she still want Ethan? If not, she has to sit down and discuss that with him, set some boundaries; I think she needs better communication with him in general but this would be a good place to start.

Us: “April, tell us what you want. Make a choice.”

April:

William

Will absolutely demonstrated why he isn’t the Chief ED in this episode but one thing that really irks me about this character is that he does thing so totally left field and reckless, but the writers always manage to redeem him in the end, and it moves along as though he was always right. I’m waiting for the day the writers let Will really feel the consequences of his actions; he really needs to sit and think about why he rushes into situations the way he does. And why the hell did Maggie apologize to him? She should’ve questioned Will about how she felt he was being blind to his crusade; his patient’s daughter specifically told hm what type of treatment she wanted for her father and he ignored that…GIRL! Let that have been Ethan or Natalie LOL. And every time he does something like this he comes out smelling like roses…I’m tired of it.

I also feel like Will is acting more impulsive because he still is upset about the Chief position and doesn’t want to accept Ethan and the new hierarchy of the ED. Its like him being a part of this clinical trail give him the authority position that he wanted in the ED but didn’t get, not really about him being really interested in the trails. It’s giving me “I don’t respect Ethan” vibes & I would appreciate it if he just said that.

Ethan

Ok so I feel like with this episode, Ethan did really leave April alone except for things that were related to work and that’s what I want for him moving forward until she figures out what she wants: keep it professional. But I don’t like how he’s handling April with kid gloves; I get that he still loves her, it’s evident, but he needs to show her that he won’t be a push over for her, that she can’t use their connection to get her way & then give him attitude when he does his job as Chief of ED.

There is such a wedge in Chexton that it doesn’t even seem worth it anymore and the writers said that Noah is going to cause even more problems, at this point, but my ship in the harbor and let us disembark. I love Chexton but this is ridiculous, they have these characters walking around not communicating with each other like children even though I’m sure these characters are pushing 40!

I would like for Ethan to continue his mentor-mentee relationship with Charles; I feel like that will help Ethan determine the type of Chief he wants to be and how he wants to run his ED. He also needs to make it clear that no one will be getting special treatment (April and Noah) and try to establish communication, trust, collaboration, and accountability (Will) in the ED. For Ethan, getting used to this new role is his drama, he doesn’t need the extra mess with his love life at the moment; it would be good to see him grow in a way that sticks from being Chief of ED. Also free Ethan from the shackles of April, please LOL.

Mancel

I’m kinda on this ship LOL. IDK what it is about these two but I kinda like it…I think it’s the fact that Marcel can be vulnerable to Natalie and she gives him the space to do so without judgment. Natalie confronting Marcel about his one-night stands and then just leaning herself onto his back, then his face being so content just made me swoon a bit, I can totally understand Natalie’s attraction to him with this new attitude. I know that his ex-wife will be making an appearance that will surely shake things up with them but it can be a moment for Marcel to determine if he wants to pursue a relationship with Nat or continue being a committed bachelor. The direction the writers are taking with Mancel is the only good thing they’re doing IMO; it’s giving me an insight to Marcel’s pathology – he feels like a person who runs when the going gets tough cause he doesn’t want to be vulnerable but his attraction to Nat and the type of person she is will make him want to stay and work through the hard stuff.

The Writers

I am TIRED of y’all. TIRED. I’m so done with the way the writers make characters regress to build up other characters/relationships. They had Manstead going but then as Chexton took off, Manstead crashed and burned. Chexton was cruising along, now they’re floundering as Mancel is taking off. What is going on? Can no one focus on more than one relationship at a time? And why are the characters going through the same development that they went through in past seasons (Ethan, Will). Like they went through that, their characters were better then all of a sudden, its back to square one and then on top of that, no one is communicating with each other, just getting upset in their feelings. You know y’all don’t have to do that, right? There are ways of challenging characters beyond regressing them and focusing on their love life screw ups. Do y’all need a more diverse writing room? Some new people to bring in fresh ideas? What is it? What do y’all need to keep this show from being too predictable and unnecessarily messy? It’s like they don’t realize that the characters and viewers of the show aren’t teenagers, we’re grown ass adults so petty relationship drama isn’t going to satisfy us. I would give them more free game but they’re gonna have to pay me LOL.

Me to the writers:

So i guess that’s all until next episode of ChicagoWhatTheFuckAreTheyDoingOverThereMed Z.

#chicagomed #chicago med #one chicago #ethan choi #april sexton #chexton #mancel #crockett marcel #natalie manning #will halstead #sharon goodwin #daniel charles

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whatiwillsay · 2 years

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i recently learned what a pearl necklace is some nat’s blog, so i’m rethinking the “wear you like a necklace” line (which i previously viewed as decently solid evidence that so it goes is gay).

seeing as it was written in 2015, bestie, do you think it’s possible that it’s about matty healy (he’s definitely a ‘bad boy’) or even jake gyllenhaal (since i remember him popping up in 2015 in your timeline)?

so the fun thing about a song like so it goes is that you can really apply it to anyone you want like whatever makes you happy you can land on with this song. it has a 2017 copyright date so i think it was written then. i know the producer seemed to insinuate maybe it was written in 2015, because he had that quote about becoming a father when they were working on the song but he also had a kid in 2017 so that + the copyright date tells me it was 2017. there’s a ton of possible muses but first “wear you like a necklace” could mean a pearl necklace so a hettie pairing or it could mean a woman wrapping her legs around taylor’s neck while she goes down on her- either/or which ever makes you happy. it also could be referring to the actual literal necklaces some of her partners gave her: calvin gave her a locket and joe gave her a j necklace. could just be a little reference to one of those guys.

so let’s talk muses. jake is a definite no. i’m not sure how you get “secret late stage fucking while taylor has a boyfriend” from the timeline because the story is she either 1. ran into him at an event and said hello and it was no big deal or 2. she ran into him at an event and had a little crying meltdown. neither suggests she ran off and fucked him. might i remind you that jake “made her want to die” i don’t really think she’s having affairs with him after 2011 when they are last spotted together.

matty healy, which is as good a conspiracy ship as any and i do fully remain open to a hook up there it feels certainly as possible as a kaylor hookup if not more, did strongly deny any connection with taylor other than business when he said, “ "It is bloody fake," he declared. "It's all fake. It's all a farce." He went on to say that they did exchange numbers, but implied that it was just a friendly and/or work-related thing. "She's the biggest pop star in the world; I'm in Australia," he added. "There's no, like, relationship or anything happening. It's just funny how people really, really buy into that."” (source). so take that info under consideration.

given if there was a hookup it was brief and not an ongoing thing that doesn’t really match the themes explored in the song which is- toxic relationship, we fight a lot but sex is bomb, we’re undefined, we’re sneaking around and secret, this has been going on for a while

this could match well for calvin who it was messy with in the end but for me thematically i actually think it matches really well with the lover muse- whoever false god is about, because it’s basically the same story. we’re fighting but we come back together and have sex and that fixes everything. i’ll consider lily for this song (and we will have the lover tily episode on the main pod soon!) but i do think it’s about joe. another lyric from lover that stands out to me as similar to sig is “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down” and “cat and mouse for a month or two or three” and “i thought you were leading me on”. so i do think sig is commenting on the same situation taylor looks back and reflects on in lover. given all this i think the muse is Joe.

some other possibly muses would be: karlie- if kaylor happened we know it was a confusing hookup situation given karlie’s relationship with josh so the messy “this is just sex” themes fit OR the title itself may give it away as the 1989 muse. taylor keeps associating the phrase “so it goes” with the red falling in love muse/1989 breakup muse on tvfn, style, and you are in love. for me that’s dianna and for haylor shippers that would of course be harry.

but to me occam’s razor solves this- song was written in 2017, she’s with joe in 2017, and the lover songs i associate with joe seem to paint a similar picture to a bumpy on and off start. the secrecy in sig is explained by joe too since she basically closeted with him for a year (during the time period this song was written!) so for me the simplest muse is joe. however if it gets you off to think of taylor as a messy cum slut for matty healy then go for it. that is never gonna work for me but that’s the fun part about this space. we all get to have our own beliefs.

and best believe on songs about dianna agron part 4 i am damn well gonna make the case that taylor was actually a messy cum slut for HER because that’s my job lmao. so stay tuned for that if you like that theory.

#anonymous #analysis #so it goes #sig

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deuxesse · 4 years

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songs of my decade

youtube

2010/2011: Anyone Else But You by the Moldy Peaches

Towards the end of my convent years, my school was beginning to resort to the weirdest methods to ensure we get some semblance of effective Sex Education without compromising on the values of the catholic instituition. In efforts to make us abstain from sex in the most entertaining way possible, they sat us all down in a stuffy school gymnasium and made us watch a censored version of Juno from a tiny projector screen. This plan fell flat on its face because the film turned out to make us empathise with teenage pregnancy rather than fear it, although not all of us fathomed this. Eventually, the things most talked about was the bemusement we felt when she yelled the entire vocabulary of english profanities while in labour pains, and the gentle & sweet folk songs that made the OST. Amongst which was Anyone Else But You, by the Moldy Peaches, a song off the soundtrck that caught on most well. I remmeber how Nat and I would break out randomly into song while hanging out around our Hougang hood after school, with the lyrics all memorised to a T. It was one of the first songs I learnt on my own during guitar ensemble practices. I performed it for my friends, family, hoping the song's feeble lyrics & uncomplicated chord progression would easily capture adoration. AEBY became one of my most remembered songs of my teenage years, and opened me up to indie folk musicians that i would come to love. It represented the tame, boyless youth of my convent years. It makes me think of blue coral sweet talk slushies, nun-white sneakers, and running away from finger-wagging discipline mistresses. AEBY is innocent - like the comfortable cocoon of my teenage years, where my self-esteem hinged upon the affection drawn from friendships, the length of my ankle socks, the seeming eternity of vacuous girlhood

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2013/2014: Breezeblocks by Alt-J

This song is a fucking masterpiece and the only thing Spotify got right - it did indeed come out tops on my most played songs of the decade. I remember listening to it on a shared earpiece with Nina when in JC, then later on throughout year 1 & 2 of uni when i was trying to be edgy with my identity crises, and the weeks following the legendary moment of seeing Alt-J play the song live at Genting. Everytime i hear breezeblocks i hear the manifestation of my (currently unconfirmed) ADD condition - if i'm not just being the hypochondriac i am. Whatever the song expresses, my inner mind is - it's my gross inability to stay on the ground, my never ending attempts to both subdue yet express myself by going from excitement to excitement, my train of thought repeatedly disrupted by the trigger-happy da-da-da-das. Breezeblocks’ shuddering background hi-hats combined with Joe Newman’s lazy drawls is this precise sensation felt daily - the slow, swirling haze over my mind i cannot navigate, the overtures of energy my body transmits back and forth from fidgeting finger to shaking feet. And yet, the emotion that runs through its sounds is one of both love and fear - the slowed & sugary strums that leap suddenly into hyperactive, crashing drums. Coming to terms with this condition in adulthood, especially when it's been disrupting my work life, has been precisely this: a messy experience of both loving and fearing myself; putting up with the constant pandemoniums in my head, and knowing it's the very reason i'm uniquely who I am. Breezeblocks is that constant paradigm shift - a frustration at my inability and an endearment of my brokenness; a resulting schizo-desire to both quell and expel.

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2017: J-Boy by Phoenix

To be honest, there's no true connection to what the song's trying to convey to whatever 2017 was to me. All i know is that when this song was on full-on repeat mode, it was when i was experiencing for the first time an unsettling combination of two polar feelings: the feeling of falling in love again, and the feeling of heart-wrenching grief. Layered atop was the actual taste of independence for the first time in my life, being 22 and alone in Spain in the company of strangers that felt so familiar to me. J-Boy occured when i lost my grandpa, when i began my relationship with Matt, when i travelled alone all by myself for the first time. Everytime I play J-Boy I open a portal to spanish hillsides and castles, the sounds of murcia's rolling brooks, the sensation of wrapping my arms around my lover’s body in the midst of the icy mediterranean sea. I step insiside the idyllic, temporal limbo of summer 2017 - before returning to the reality of an emptier home, to a a life that mercilessly moves forward. You feel trapped in a vault, in an empty aquarium If suddenly you're out of the woods Then inside of an alley, you're out of words Well, I thought it was radium at first

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2018/2019: 20 - Something by SZA

Self-explanatory. When SZA desperately sang Praying the 20 somethings don't kill me? I felt that 100%. The 20's are pretty much already becoming the hardest times of my life, and any more it's giving me could easily tip me over the edge. It makes me wish I could fast forward to being 30 and being grown enough to live in my own house, to make my own damn decisions, and be taken seriously enough in the corporate world. and yet? I also never want it to end, these are, after all, the final years of licensed irresponsibilty, and where you'll never be faulted so hard for your failures. The 20's are so far, a penrose staircase that you have to keep walking and walking - not knowing if there'll ever be a resolution or progress - and i've already fallen off it a couple of times from trying to skip a few steps or run too fast. Then the getting-back-on is so confusing because you no longer know if you're on the right step from where you've fallen off from before, and whether you'll have more certainty of an end from where you're getting on again. It's the most ecclestiastical season of my life, but it's also so fuckin beautiful. And that honest, aimless stream of consciousness in 20-Something’s verses express this determination to pin down the fleeting years, to define its pressure points - of trusting recklessly, of adventurous first-times, of heartbreak and hope - that seem to promise yet confound..

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winterhawkkisses · 7 years

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Clint living in bed stuy and thinking no one will remember his birthday so he goes to the tower for new arrows from tony or somehting and the whole teams there celebrating him or something idk I'm bad at prompt sorry lmao

314.

Clint rolled his head back against the arm of the couch and whined. It made Lucky’s ear perk up lazily, but no other reaction than that - he was pretty sure they were both feeling it today, the lassitude of a summer day and too much sleep and no real motivation to get the day started.

“Today’s a pajamas day, Nat, it’s already decided.”

“Quit being lazy,” she said, sounding a little annoyed. Someone wasn’t feeling the summer spirit, gosh darn Russians.

“Hey,” he said, “quit being mean. I get to do whatever the hell I want today, that’s the rules.”

“Why?” she said, and that hurt a little more than he’d thought it would. And then there was quiet Russian swearing. She didn’t apologise - Tasha rarely apologised - but she sounded a little sorry, at least.

“I had forgotten.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Clint said. “It’s fine - you’ve been busy.” No busier than usual, maybe, but normal was pretty freakin’ busy when you were an Avenger. And never mind that Tony had already started planning some kinda epic blow-out for Steve’s birthday; it wasn’t like the date of Steve’s birthday was an easy one to forget.

“I’ll stop disturbing you,” she said, a little stiff, and Clint sighed. The little sting of disappointment from a forgotten birthday was no excuse to be an asshole.

“Nah, I’ll come over,” Clint said, voice going a little strained as he hauled himself to his feet. “Fair warning, though: I ain’t getting dressed. And Lucky’s coming.”

“That will be acceptable,” she said, sounding a little amused.

Clint shoved his phone into the pocket of his loose sweats. There was a coffee stain on the hem of his shirt - the CUNNING STUNT one with the sleeves ripped off - but it wasn’t so far from what he’d wear any day of the week. He whistled between his teeth for Lucky, shoving bare feet into battered sneakers, and shoved a hand through his bed-messy hair and called it good.

The elevator was out again - Clint made a mental note to call the goddamned maintenance company and ream out that asshole Lloyd about it, again. On the way down the stairs he kicked gently at an AC unit until it started blowing out cool air again. Monday. That was Monday’s issue. Halfway down the third flight Lucky started whining a little, ‘cos his knees hadn’t been so great since his accident, so Clint hauled him up into his arms and cursed and sweated his way down to the first floor.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

Any idea why N’s making angry noises at me about forgetting something? x

Clint put Lucky down and checked his mail, which was empty. It was fine. They were new. New enough it hadn’t been a year yet, anyhow, and he wasn’t even sure he’d told Bucky his birthday. He wasn’t pissed, he just - didn’t quite have the mental fortitude to get back to Bucky right now.

He ran into Simone on the way out of the building.

“Hey, Clint,” she said, awkward and embarrassed. “Look, I hate to ask, but I think Tejan flushed something he shouldn’t’ve and now -”

“I’ll come over tonight,” Clint said, “it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Coffee. He needed coffee. If he got some coffee everything’d be better.

Clint stared blankly at the street corner for a minute or two, when he got there. Instead of Java Joe’s cheerful sign - POSSIBLY THE WORST DAMN COFFEE IN NOOYAWK - there were orange plastic barriers and a pile of rubble. The jackhammer was a particularly nice touch from the universe.

It was seriously tempting to just text Nat back, call the day a wash and go back to bed with some ice-cream. Probably would have, too, except his phone buzzed again.

you okay?

yeah, Clint sent back. I’m coming over.

The Winter Soldier used emoticons. Pretty much never failed to raise a smile, although not one as wide as on the little yellow face.

The train ride over was best not talked about; too many, too loud, too close. Someday Clint was gonna get Lucky one of those service dog jackets, ‘cos it might earn him a little space; it was that or punch someone.

“I’m sorry,” the girl on the desk said, when he finally arrived, hauled his dusty sweating grumpy ass through the pristine glass doors. “If you don’t have ID -”

“Lady,” Clint said, aiming for patient and shooting a little wide, “I’m a goddamn Avenger. Call Tony Stark, he’ll let me in.”

“I’ll - I’ll call up,” she said, “if you could just take a seat?”

Clint slumped into one of the horribly uncomfortable chairs, glaring at the guy in a suit who deliberately moved a couple seats further away. Lucky sat on his feet and Clint buried his hands in his fur, leaning down to rest his forehead on the top of Lucky’s head.

“Clint?”

The voice was a little hesitant, as was the grin when he looked up. Clint echoed it, if a little late, and it was kinda stupid that seeing his guy was putting a lump in his throat, right?

“You okay?” Bucky asked, and Clint shrugged, pushing up to his feet.

“Shitty day,” he said, grabbing Lucky’s leash and attempting to straighten his shirt a little, ‘cos Bucky was dressed kinda fancy. “It’s really fucking good to see you, though.”

“You too,” Bucky said, and grabbed his free hand, leading him into the elevator. They rode up silently a few floors and then Bucky hit the emergency stop.

“Wha-?” was all Clint managed to get out before Bucky was leaning in to kiss him, slow and patient and deep, his hands sliding into Clint’s hair, his thumbs sweeping back and forth just over his ears.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Bucky said, hushed, and Clint slowly smiled against his mouth.

“Aaw,” he said, “you asshole.”

“Thor was really enthusiastic about the whole surprise party thing,” Bucky said, pulling away just a little, cupping Clint’s face in his hands. “They’re all up there with hats and shit.”

“Next year, how about you warn me first?” Clint said, pushing forward a little so he could lean against Bucky’s chest, could duck down awkwardly to rest his head on the guy’s shoulder. “My ego’s not so good with people forgetting me.”

“I don’t get how the hell you’d think we could,” Bucky said, and he wrapped his arms tightest around Clint, pressed kisses against his temple, let him stay there as long as he needed before they headed up.

#winterhawk #angstish #established relationship #Anonymous

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sonataliadyer · 6 years

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i'm never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me — part one. ( solo. )

Location/Date/Time: The Apartment of Natalia Dyer & Ryan McCord / 12.3.17 / 11pm Background Info: Things between Nat and her boyfriend have been tense as his suspicions and jealousy towards Joe grow. Featuring: N/A; mentions of Joe Keery, Charlie Heaton & Dacre Montgomery @joeeykeery @socharlieheaton @dcreisms TRIGGER WARNING: N/A

Natalia had set up camp in a tiny cubicle in her favorite section of the library-kids lit-trying in vain to finish up a paper that was due in two days. Instead, she found her mind wandering. To macaroons and all black outfits and nights in Paris. And Joe. That was the natural turning point in her mind; the moment Joe’s name or face appeared in her conscious, it was time to focus back up on the paper. Because even The Rise and Fall of the Grecian Empire was better than reliving the feeling of wanting to kiss Joe Keery atop the Eiffel Tower. Not when she was this angry at him. Not after what Dacre had told her. Her thoughts on the whole Parisian experience were like a stormy sea: when one wave passed, another crashed, threatening to pull her under. That day she’d spent with Joe exploring the nooks and crannies of Paris had been full of ups and down. The random girl taking stalker-style photos of the two of them sort of looking like they were holding hands. Down. That view from the top of the Eiffel Tower, how stunning it had been. Up. That friend date which, at times, had felt more like a real date. Down…and also a little bit of an up. How much fun she had with that brunette boy, how much they had laughed, how easy things had ebbed and flowed between them. Up. How she felt a constant pang of guilt gnawing at her heart for enjoying time spent with a man who wasn’t her boyfriend. Down.

She knew she needed to jam the rest of this paper out and head home; she had promised she’d be home to decorate the apartment for Christmas with Ryan. Oh Ryan. He towered over Nat at six feet two inches but was thin as a beanpole with wavy hair that certain shade of gold you can only achieve by being a born and bred Southern Californian. He was a film major emphasizing in directing; upon her return from shooting season one of Stranger Things, they had been in the same intro class together where they’d bonded over a mutual love and adoration for the greats: Spielberg, Scorsese, Hitchcock, and the rest was history. Back in August, they’d moved into a small apartment close to campus together. Cohabitation, however, was a tricky thing and it wasn’t until she’d signed that lease and they spent their first few months together-the first time the delivery guy from their favorite Chinese restaurant recognized her and asked for a selfie, when Ryan had slammed the door in his face and their kung pao chicken spilled all over the foyer-that he revealed what Nat called his not-so-attractive side. He was often the picture of a modern day gentleman; other times, he was possessive, aggressive, and controlling. Nat was still trying to figure out how she could accurately predict which Ryan she would be dealing with at any given moment. It was exhausting.

The small actress slid her key into the lock and gave it a sharp twist before bumping the door with her hip, coaxing it open with arms full of textbooks and decorations. She’d texted Ryan asking for help upstairs. He hadn’t replied. Upon entering, she was greeted by the sight of her boyfriend sprawled on the couch wearing nothing but boxers, eyes glued to the tv. She could have confronted him, complained about how he hadn’t helped her upstairs but she was too tired to go on the offensive. And she certainly didn’t want to ruin their night before it even began. “Hi, baby,” she said as she dumped her things on the kitchen table and pushed her blonde hair out of her face, gathering it into a tiny ponytail at the base of her neck as she looked around the messy kitchen. “So I bought a bunch of stuff at Good Will. Really cute stuff that’ll look really good in here. I do have a little bit more studying to do, though, so we should get started sooner rather than later.” Her words seemed to fall on deaf ears as Ryan remained unmoving on the couch.

With a simple shrug, determined not to let Ryan’s shitty attitude annoy her, Nat began unpacking her bags of treasures: small porcelain reindeer pulling Santa in a sleigh, a pack of vintage hand-painted ornaments, and a giant red bow she wanted to use for a tree topper amongst other things. Dacre’s texts were flashing through her head, despite her trying her hardest to forget about them. “The one person who can literally light a fire up under your ass thinks you hate his guts right now.” “…my other best friend is so in love with you that it has him fucked in the head.” She had promised Dacre she would reach out to Joe, in light of this new information, but she’d been avoiding it all day. In all honesty, she didn’t know what she would say, how she would even start that conversation. She was sure he wouldn’t be thrilled about Dacre spilling the beans on the whole thing so she wouldn’t want to mention it…but if she avoided that part of it, what else was there left to say? She was also certain he wasn’t dying for the chance to see her. Not after the way she’s spoken to him last time they’d been together that night on the streets of New York.

She was so completely lost in her thoughts, she didn’t even hear Ryan until he was saying her name with a level of annoyance that could only mean he’d tried to call her back to reality multiple times. “Sorry,” she said, turning to grip the table behind her, her gaze falling to the blonde boy who was now standing next to the couch, his eyes on her. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering how that trip to Paris went. With Joe.” Ryan ran a hand through his hair, the other held his phone down at his side.

Nat wrapped her arms around herself, instinctively going on the defensive. “Um...it was a press tour, Ryan. We’ve talked about this before. I was there for work, not vacation. And certainly not a vacation with Joe. Charlie was there, too.”

“Right. Charlie was there.” A silence settled over them but the silence had an edge, something sharp and biting that whispered in her ear that he wasn’t finished saying what he had to say. “And were you standing in line at the Eiffel Tower holding hands with Charlie, too? Or was that just with Joe?”

Nat’s eyes immediately fell to the phone, noticing how his bare leg was brighter in one spot, meaning that his screen was unlocked and active. “What are you talking about?” She asked the words but she knew the answer: he’d found those pictures. The ones that girl had snapped of them while Joe was warming up her hands in his. Fuck.

#( &. solo. )#( &. never gonna let you close to me. part 1. )#// this got HELLA long so i split it into two post #sorry not sorry

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bisluthq · 2 years

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Lol someone on Tiktok said "why did Taylor said that Joe ran with the wolves and refused to settled down tf did he do before he met her?" And this person answered "he went to Bristol uni. So." 💀

#nat talks messy joe things

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torontocomics · 7 years

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Koyama Press, the vital hometown publishing house, turns 10 this year! And so they're making this TCAF a big one! With 6 essential debuts from 7 of the freshest voices in the medium, Koyama Press and crew are reminding us that comics (especially Canadian comics) wouldn't be the same without them. Heck, it's even hard just to remember a TCAF with out them! Helping KP ringing their entry to double-digits are:

Eleanor Davis is a cartoonist and illustrator. She lives in Athens, GA. She was born in Tucson, Arizona. In 2009, Davis won the Eisner's Russ Manning Most Promising Newcomer Award and was named one of Print magazine's New Visual Artists. In 2013, her short story In Our Eden received a gold medal from the Society of Illustrators. In 2015, her book How To Be Happy won the Ignatz Award for Outstanding Anthology or Collection.

Eleanor is debuting her new book, You & A Bike & A Road, at TCAF 2017. She is also a TCAF 2017 Poster Artist!

An Nguyen is a cartoonist and illustrator based in Ottawa, ON best known for her romantic comic series Open Spaces and Closed Places. She has drawn comics for Spera: Ascension of the Starless, Electric Ant zine, and various Love Love Hill anthologies. She and Jane Mai have previously released a zine titled Don't Talk to Me or I'll Set Myself on Fire.

Jane Mai is a freelance illustrator and comic artist from Brooklyn, NY. Her work has appeared in several anthologies and self-published zines. Koyama Press published her first book, Sunday in the Park with Boys, which was followed by the zine Sorry I Can’t Come in on Monday I’m Really Really Sick, and See You Next Tuesday.

An and Jane are debuting So Pretty / Very Rotten, a collection of short story and essay collection exploring the Japanese fashion subculture, Lolita. Their debut will be accompanied by a Lolita fashion exhibition at the Japan Foundation. Stay tuned for more details!

Eric Kostiuk Williams is a cartoonist and illustrator based in Toronto, ON. His debut autobiographical work Hungry Bottom Comics was nominated for the 2013 Doug Wright Spotlight Award, and each issue of the series was selected for The Best American Comics' Notable Books of 2013, 2014 and 2015, respectively. Recent commercial clients include Joe Fresh, the Drake Hotel, Xtra!, and the Alliance for South Asian AIDS Prevention.

Eric is debuting his first major graphic novel, Condo Heartbreak Disco, as well as a new issue in the Ley Lines series from Czap Books/Grindstone Comics.

Jesse Jacobs was born in Moncton, New Brunswick, and now draws comics and things from his home in Hamilton, Ontario. In 2009, his books Small Victories and Blue Winter were short listed at the Doug Wright Awards for Canadian Cartooning. He received the Gene Day Award for Canadian Comic Book Self-Publisher of 2008. Even the Giants (AdHouse, 2011) marked his major publishing debut. His work has appeared in the acclaimed Latvian comics anthology š!, as well as the 2012 edition The Best American Comics. He made his debut with Koyama Press in 2012 with the psychedelic creation myth By This Shall You Know Him, which was followed by the trippy take on nature versus nurture Safari Honeymoon in 2014.

Jesse is debuting his latest graphic novel this Spring, the kaleidoscopic CRAWL SPACE.

Keiler Roberts autobiographical comic series, Powdered Milk, has received an Ignatz Award for Outstanding Series and was included in The Best American Comics 2016. Her work has been published in The Chicago ReaderMutha Magazine, Nat. Brut, Darling Sleeper,Newcity, and several anthologies. She was a Special Guest at CAKE (Chicago Alternative Comics Festival) in 2015 and Chicago Zine Fest in 2013. Miseryland, Roberts’ third book, has been reviewed by Publisher’s Weekly, The Comics Journal, Broken Frontier, Sequential State, and more. Newcity named Roberts one of the Top Five Comics Artists in Chicago in 2015.

Keiler is debuting Sunburning, which collects the fun, messy, and real moments that make up the days of a bipolar artist and mother.

Ben Sears is a cartoonist, illustrator and musician born and raised in Louisville, KY where he continues to live and work. His Double+ character has appeared in a number of zines, online anthologies and the all-ages adventure comic Night Air, where he has been perpetually in over his head.

Ben is debuting his latest Double+ instalment, Volcano Trash, which is bursting with adventure and intrigue.

For more information on these and all TCAF Guests and Exhibitors, check out our Creators tab in the Who's Coming section [Link]

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY, KOYAMA PRESS!

#TCAF 2017 #Koyama Press #Eleanor Davis #An Nguyen #Jane Mai #Eric Kostiuk Williams #Jesse Jacobs #Keiler Roberts #Ben Sears #Volcano Trash #Sunburning #Crawl Space #Condo Heartbreak Disco #So Pretty / Very Rotten #You & A Bike & A Road

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champagnesparks · 5 years

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Everything Changes | Flashback | Emilia

Queasy was a constant state of Emilia’s life in the last couple of weeks. —

Ever since she had slipped out of Kit’s room, ushered promises going unfilled. She had thrown herself into full on drinking at his wedding, barely able to keep herself together. By the time everyone was really starting to have a good time at the reception Emilia was drunk off her arse. After sobbing for an hour in the bathroom, upon exit, she had run into good cast mate, Peter Dinklage. The man had come looking for her because people had noticed that Emilia had been gone for awhile. The man knew why she had been going, pulling her aside to sit down and talk. Peter had been like a father figure to her, especially now since her own father had passed. Crying on his shoulder she could feel the smaller man tense, the protective side of him wanting to keep her safe. When the man realized she was far too drunk to snap out of the emotions coursing through her body, he had excused himself to gather his wife who was in attendance with him before returning to her.

Peter and Erica had been there to shield her when they had left the wedding, keeping her from the excess of paparazzi stationed outside. She gathered all there per the Leslie clan’s open mouths of wanting publicity, not from Kit. He wanted privacy more than anyone she knew, he never would have been okay with that. Emilia had been thankful when Erica had been kind enough to get her up to her room and set her up with her pajamas before Emilia was left alone with her emotions.

— Which lead her back to the present. Queasy.

Leaving Scotland the next day had been an hurried rush, boarding a private jet before heading back to Belfast where filming would be resuming for the final season. Thankfully, despite the pain it caused her, Kit would be on honeymoon for the next couple of weeks, which gave her time on set and in table reads with just these people. No worrying about running into the face that she was sure she had broken his heart as much as she had broken hers.

How those few weeks had gone by so fast, was beyond her. Now Kit was returning to town to set into full gear for Game of Thrones. Which just made her stomach churn. How could she do this? This season was going to be so much interaction between Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow. There was no way they would be able to ignore each other. Which had been the plan when he first returned. Upon the first table read of the first episode, Emilia had settled down next to Nathalie, Jacob, Joe, and Peter. Needing to feel close to those who she felt protected with. The second they were finished Emilia was up out of her seat and out the door. Didn’t matter that Sophie or Maisie would yell out her name, probably wanting to catch up, or Dan or David had hoped to go over a few lines that might need tweaking, she disappeared out the door and was in the van back to the hotel suite she was living in.

Lately she’d find herself just arriving back into her suite before rushing to the bathroom and ending up incredibly sick, often curling up on the bathroom floor after expelling the contents of her stomach. This was where Nathalie was starting to get concerned. While Emilia constantly tried to ease the woman’s fears, claiming it was the stress of the final season, being well aware of their endings, and a whole line of things, her close friend wasn’t convinced.

Two nights later Emilia found herself knocking on Nathalie’s door, tears already falling down her cheeks, the emotions feeling like she was being suffocated with a pillow over her face. What she hadn’t been expecting was to find Joe Dempsie and Jacob Anderson on the other side of that door. Upon seeing the woman visibly upset, they both had worried something was incredibly wrong — which it was — but she couldn’t discuss that with them. She couldn’t tell them about how seeing Kit was ripping her ribcage open while shredding what remained of her heart. Emilia lied, passing it off as stress and her father’s passing.

Thankfully Nathalie had ushered the men away, stating girl time was needed, and they would not be allowed to stay. That they could all do something tomorrow once Emilia was more calm. The door had barely shut when the woman looked at her, “This is about Kit, isn’t it? You two haven’t been the same since — he got married.”

Emilia swallowed, steady tears still dripping down her cheek as the darker skinned woman scooped her into her arms and tugged her against her chest. Fingers combed through the messy, bleach blonde hair she was currently sporting. “He married her.” She murmured softly, “We had our chance… Oh god, Nat — we slept together, the night before the wedding. He promised to leave her, and I left. In the middle of the night, and he married her.” Emilia didn’t blame Kit for that, she had left. But, she thought she was doing the right thing.

“You slept … together, the night — wow.” Emilia almost immediately buried her face thinking she was going to say horrible things to her, “Maybe not the best timing but — why did you leave?” The woman’s nimble fingers caressed through her hair, “You love him, Mils.” The statement was painfully true, slipping into the most raw parts of her emotions, “I just don’t understand why you would leave, you deserved to be happy.” Sometimes Emilia forgot how good some of her best mates were, they didn’t focus on the fact that Kit and her had had an affair the night before he married another, but they focused on her happiness.

Emilia shifted, her eyes squeezed shut, “I didn’t think it was fair of me to ask that of him. Even if he was saying he would.” It was the truth, “What would the world think, Rose was gonna make sure press was there, announcing that Kit Harington is calling off the wedding? He would have been ripped to shreds by the media.” Wiping her eyes she pulled away, “Even if we didn’t announce — us — which we wouldn’t have, not anytime soon anyway, he would have been called everything in the book. What? Because of me? At the end of the day it would have been because of me and I couldn’t live with that. The man already hates the bloody paparazzi more than — anyone I know.” Emilia swallowed feeling her mouth watering as a familiar sickness in her stomach started churning. “I love him too much to let him go through that. We’re soulmates, but not all soulmates get the happy ending.”

“Oh Mils.” She watched Nathalie tense, “Don’t say that, everyone deserves the happy ending.” Watching her friend chew on her lower lip, she was searching for something to say, some way to pick up the broken pieces that had now left a shell that was Emilia Clarke. Only some things couldn’t be fixed. After her father passed, she had been shattered into a million pieces. Friends haphazardly taping pieces of her back together, hallowed promises that it wouldn’t always hurt so much, but in times like this — where she wished she could curl up with her dad and cry while he comforted her, she realized nothing fixed the broken.

A sudden rush of heat came to her cheeks, a soft cough, “Oh no.” Emilia was up off the bed before her friend could even question her, wobbling legs clamoring over the floor before she ducked down, immediately feeling the tense before heaving what little was left of her stomach contents. Nathalie didn’t seem bothered as she came in and knelt down, pulling her blonde hair back away from her shoulders, a soothing hand running over her back. Soft panting breaths filled the room as she willed her stomach to relax. “Stress is eating me alive. I can’t look at him, talk to him, how the fuck am I supposed to film with him? Kiss him on set?” She shook her head, this was going to be impossible. Maybe this was exactly why Dan and David had been so against all of this from the beginning.

“Babe, how long have you been getting sick for?” Emilia shrugged, truthfully it had been a couple of weeks. All gearing up for when the dark haired man returned into her life. “Emilia.” When she said her actual name, she glance up, “How long has it been since you slept with Kit? Six weeks?” Not that Emilia wanted to recall the last time she’d slept with the love of her life, she thought back.

“Give or take, somewhere around there.” Watching as Nathalie got up filling a cup with water and telling her to sip on the water she then turned and started rummaging through her medicine cabinet, “I think you need to take one of these.” A small wrapped tube was pushed in front of her face, and it took a few seconds for her to register before reading first response. “No, no.” Emilia pushed it away, “It’s stress, just from having to deal from this bullshit.”

Nathalie narrowed her eyes pushing the test back into her face, “Take it, you need to. You’ve looked like you’re gonna get sick everyday for days now. Would Kit be the only possible person — if…” Emilia held out her hand, her stomach starting to churn but this time she knew it was from pure panic, all she gave was a small nod. The only person who could have possibly, potentially, gotten Emilia pregnant was Kit. “Take the test, okay?”

“Why do you even have these?” Emilia scoffed trying to push this off as long as possible. The annoyed look on Nathalie’s face knew she was pushing her luck. Using her foot to shut the door she groaned, getting up and ripping the test open. It seemed simple enough, it would say pregnant or not pregnant. Couldn’t get more plain that that. Once the test was used she clicked the cap back on and splashed water on her face. It wasn’t going to be positive, there was no way that test was going to be positive.

Only fate was determined to be cruel, her face paled as she studied the test, opening the door. Nathalie stood, “I’m — I can’t be.. I’m …” she held up the test, the words almost screamed in the all capital letters. PREGNANT. As if things weren’t already fucked, she was now carrying a married man’s child. Panic gripped her as she felt her throat constrict, her arms flailing as she grabbed the door jam, Nathalie immediately running to catch her.

“Breathe, Em.. I need you to take deep breaths.” The words were foggy, as if she was getting further in the distance. “Fuck, Emilia!” Her eyes rolled as the stress over took her body causing her to slide down towards the ground, Nathalie’s arms carrying her down to the ground. Everything had been too much as she fainted, the overwhelming hitting her like an arrow straight through the chest and sucking all the air out making her incapable to breathe. There was rushed sounds in the background, what sounded like Nathalie calling someone, it wasn’t emergency services, she figured she’d call Jacob or Peter, maybe Lena but that didn’t matter right now as Emilia laid almost lifeless on the ground as her body slowly started to regain consciousness, the feeling of tears starting to wet her cheeks again. Life was fucked, and now it was even worse.

#para: Flashback.#para: self #para: everything changes

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footyplusau · 7 years

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Shut out AFLPA once pay talks stall beyond deadline: Melbourne president Glen Bartlett

A radical proposal to short-circuit pay negotiations with the AFL Players Association by putting an offer directly to the footballers to vote on has been placed before league bosses by Melbourne president and prominent industrial lawyer Glen Bartlett.

Bartlett has warned AFL chairman Richard Goyder and CEO Gillon McLachlan they are trapped on a “wheel of death” – an industrial relations term for negotiations that endured for months and potentially years with no evident resolution in sight.

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AFL plays of round 4

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FootyFix: Can the Tiges keep it up?

Rohan Connolly previews all the footy action ahead of round 5 in the AFL.

AFL plays of round 4

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AFL plays of round 4

Good Friday footy was great, Nat Fyfe is captain courageous, Hopper pops through a ripper, Eddie kicks six including the usual bit of genius and Riewoldt is sublime as Tiges remain unbeaten.

Clarkson’s confidence challenge

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Clarkson’s confidence challenge

Alastair Clarkson believes the playing group is devoid of confidence and will need to find a way to bounce back to remain competitive.

Geelong remain unbeaten as Hawthorn misery continues

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Geelong remain unbeaten as Hawthorn …

Geelong remain unbeaten as Hawthorn misery continues

The Geelong Cats have continued their unbeaten start to the season at the expense of winless the Hawthorn Hawks, winning 20.14.134 to 6.12.48.

Richmond demolish Lions

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Richmond demolish Lions

The Tigers were dominant at the Gabba in a 52 point victory.

Magpies slump to Saints

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Magpies slump to Saints

Collingwood couldn’t overcome St Kilda as the Magpies suffered their third loss of 2017 by 14 points.

Crows crush Bombers to remain undefeated

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Crows crush Bombers to remain undefeated

Eddie Betts and Taylor Walker kicked ten between them by half-time, as Adelaide crushed Essendon by 65 points to remain undefeated.

FootyFix: Can the Tiges keep it up?

Rohan Connolly previews all the footy action ahead of round 5 in the AFL.

The Bartlett proposal, first suggested at the meeting of club presidents and the commission in March, would create a circuit-breaker for collective bargaining agreement negotiations between the AFL and the players.

The AFL would shut out the players’ union and go direct to the 800 or so players should no resolution be reached at a deadline set by both parties.

Melbourne president Glen Bartlett: Has urged the AFL to adopt a fresh approach in pay bargaining. Photo: Joe Armao

Fairfax Media understands the AFL’s legal boss and key negotiator, Andrew Dillon, plans to explore the Bartlett suggestion and has spoken with the Melbourne chairman.

A former managing partner of industrial law firm Clayton Utz, Bartlett runs his own industrial law business and trains workplace bargaining teams.

The suggested reform, which he described to commissioners as a “democratic” solution, should definitely be considered for future negotiations if it could not be implemented this year, according to Bartlett, and would require a change to the AFL rules which already operate outside the Fair Work Act.

It is being looked at as clubs have become increasingly frustrated with the uncertainty of their balance sheets, player contract talks and list management as head office and players have failed to come to terms.

CBA negotiations between the AFL and the players have moved well into their second year, bypassing the threat of a pre-season strike, but still unresolved in terms of the players’ bid for a percentage share of the game’s total overall revenue of about 25 per cent over the next six years.

Bartlett’s proposal, which he has also put before other commissioners, is in line with industrial reforms which led to the 2009 Australian Fair Work Act. His view, as explained to league bosses, would see a deadline of, for example, September 2017 set. Should no resolution be reached, a majority vote by players could put a new CBA in place.

The drawn-out negotiations have frustrated both parties, with the AFL last year continually delaying the release of its six-year cost projections to the AFLPA and then refusing to negotiate at all for a two-month period at the end of last year.

The league’s most recent offer, which included a 20 per cent pay rise in the base total player payments for 2017, has taken 10 months. Taking into account the removal of the veterans’ allowance in 2017, the AFL’s offer has been put at closer to a 16 per cent increase in real terms.

The two parties are continuing to negotiate, but the players’ view is that the subsequent annual TPP increases of 1 per cent a year is less than the CPI and will see the players worse off in terms of the game’s revenue than they are now.

Geelong chief executive Brian Cook says the players should “jump” at the offer put forward just before Easter. The Cats boss told 3AW on Monday that he feared for the clubs and their operational concerns the longer the dispute dragged on.

“If it doesn’t get done this year, that’s really, really messy,” he said. “I mean what do you do with the players who’ve played this year and been delisted? I mean what do we do – back payments and those sorts of things?”

Of the reported pay increase offer from the AFL of 20 per cent in 2017, with small increases estimated at 1 per cent each year thereafter, Cook added: “If that’s the case, I reckon they should jump at that. I think that’s an unbelievable deal. Who else gets offered over 26 per cent over five years of which you get 20 per cent in your first year?” Cook said.

The post Shut out AFLPA once pay talks stall beyond deadline: Melbourne president Glen Bartlett appeared first on Footy Plus.

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