#narcisistic brother

[cybernightwanderer]

How to contemplate suicide early in the morning

Yesterday at 3am, i once again went to the kitchen to wash the ridiculous piles of dirty dishes. I washes the dishes yesterday like 5 difrent times, early in the morning ( their dishes ), mid morning ( my plate and mug and my moms dishes ), afternoon ( my moms dishes ) , dinner ( my dishes and my moms dishes ) , and at 3am ( my brothers dishes and my moms dishes ). Today i woke up, the sink is filled with dirty dishes and trash. I get ready to make my breakfast, and theres no bread left, my brother literally ate 9 big slices of bread during the night and left none for others... again. I just make my tea, and my mother orders me to go buy bread and take out the trash. I simply say no and tell her to message him to buy bread, and go to the kicthen, she then sights loudly and goes again with the " shes in a mad mood again how surprising ". My brother doesnt pay rent or even pay half the bills, yet stays at home freely, ( i pay the house bills fully and even the internet by meself, and 20 euros of her phone ), he uses everything, dirtys everything, and cleans or helps with nothing. All my life i payed rent and did everything at home.

#suicide #depression #toxic #toxic mother #trauma #toxic family #mental illness #mental abuse #mental disorder #ptsd #anger #anxiety #narcisistic mother #narcisistic brother #abusive mother #slave #mysoginistic brother #misogynistic mother #misogynistic family

[master-dellamorte]

I hate living in this house so much. Ironically I was so angry that my mom would not let me help her that I made her cry very hard.

It's been years that I've been trying to have a reaction out of "programmed routine" from my mother. I wanted an apology, a change...only when I am really angry I want to see her hurt. Today I made her cry, but I didn't want to. I wanted a change, a dialogue at least. And now I feel awful and I am crying too. But I am also angry (as Always), bc when I tried to explain myself (and I promised I would never tell what made her cry again), I understood She listened to 1/3 of my argument and did not care about the explaination of what i really meant. She did not listen. Not even this time. I got a reaction by pure accident.

#personal #btw my brother of course is ignoring my mum crying and is trying to bully me #he doesnt give a fuck #that fucking horrible narcisistic psycho #sorry i wanted to cut like the read more thing but idk how to do it on phone #i hate my family

[anne-the-witch-ish]

Some people of my family don't know how lucky that are that i can't do malignant magick

#my narcisist grandmother would be the fucking first #for all the pain she caused to my mom #and my brother #and my nephew #witch #magick

[baggebythesea]

She-Ra cast as drinking buddies

Adora - She's great. Friendly and eager and up for anything. Hope you like to talk about horses, though. Try to keep her away from arm wrestling or that's what you're doing the rest of the evening.

Glimmer - She's an angry drunk. Or a happy drunk. Or a crying drunk. Or she challenges everyone in the bar on dart. Whatever she does, she'll do it with a hundred percent intensity. If someone picks a fight with you, you'll have to hold her back before she smashes a bottle and cuts a bitch.

Bow - He's everyones bestest buddie. He will pay for the drinks, listen to your rants, hold up your head over the toilet and help rain in Glimmer.

Catra - She's really guarded at first, but when the inhibitions drops either the claws or the tears come out. Step very carefully around her. Also, if she wants to have your jacket, it's her jacket now.

Scorpia - She's a delight. Friendly and considerate and a good listener. Although there is this feeling that she has some stuff of her own she's just dying to talk to someone about… if you open the floodgates, be prepared for a lot of tears and to listen for the next few hours.

Entrapta - Let's be honest - she won't listen to a word you say and she'll most likely have dismantled the beer pump and invented a new kind of drink before the evening is over, but you won't be bored.

Mermista - Surprisingly good company, once you get past the attitude. Keeps the drinks coming and have some good stories between all the 'Uuuuuughs'.

Sea Hawk - Life of the party. Shanties and drinks and arm wrestling. It's fun to have fun with frieeeeeends. Will probably have set something on fire and got you kicked out (unrelated incidents) before the evening is over, and never shuts up about Mermiiiiiiiista.

Swift Wind (did someone say Swift Wind?) - Pair him with Adora or Sea Hawk and no net amount of brain cells will have been added to the party. Up for anything and a good sport, though. Expect singing.

Perfuma - Friendly and considerate and works really hard to be a good listener, but if you just want a drink and some chit-chats rather than a group therapy session she's a bit too much. Try to appeal to her inner theatre kid to channel her energies into something more entertaining.

Netossa - PUT THE JÄGERMEISTER AWAY! EVERYTHING DOESN'T NEED TO BE A COMPETITION!

Spinnerella - The team mom makes sure everyone has a good time and stays hydrated.

Frosta - Thinks it's super unfair that she isn't allowed to drink. Still, if you get her to settle down in the juice bar she can be tons of fun.

Castaspella - Fruit drinks and party hats for everyone! Better step up your game, because everyone's friendly wine aunt won't let anyone be bored.

Shadow Weaver - The drinks are bad and the atmosphere is worse and you are beneath her notice. If you can get through her barrage of insults and appeal to her pride, she has the best stories though. Don't expect to come out of it unscarred.

Hordak - He will sit stiff, uncomfortable and completely silent for three drinks, and then he will speak in monotone voice with increasing amount of rage about the injustices he has suffered. Someone might die before the night is over, but it will sure be memorable

Horde Prime - Wonderful company - if your idea of a good time is hearing a narcisist yap on about himself and demand your constant attention. Otherwise, prepare to have a lousy time. Don't leave your drinks alone with him at any time.

Wrong Hordak - LOOK BROTHER, I'M PARTAKING! chugs beer LOOK, BROTHER! DO YOU SEE ME PARTAKE?

Imp - WHO LET THAT LITTLE SHIT INTO THE BAR? Good luck catching him when he zooms around the ceiling.

Emily - I'll be honest, I didn't know robots could drink. Neither did I know they can DISCO, but Emily proves me wrong on both counts.

Angella - Good luck getting her to settle down and relax. No, Angella, the fact that you heard a siren doesn't mean Glimmer has set something on fire (we hope, at least). Has no idea how the social codes are supposed to work, but likes to feel included.

Micah - At home in any company and a great listener. If you're lucky you'll get some stories out of him that will start with "Oh, it's nothing special. We all have that evil teacher that tricked you into helping her kill the entire senior faculty, right?" and spirals from there.

Juliet - The royal guard is never off duty. She might haul you off to cool down if you get too rowdy, but that's it.

Rogelio - Great listener, but not that good a conversationalist.

Kyle - Goddamit, Kyle!

Lonnie - Yes, Lonnie, you can drink more than me. Yes, Lonnie, you can arm wrestle me. No, Lonnie, I wasn't trying to start any shit with Kyle. Sorry, Lonnie, I'll stay out of your way.

Double Trouble - "Hey, you know what would be REALLY funny. If you distract the bartender, I'll… do a thing. No, don't worry about it. Just a thing. It will be funny."

Huntara - Two rules in the Crimson Waste, where one is not to disturb her as she drinks. If you're on her in-list, prepare to have a good time. If you're not, step carefully around her.

Tung Lashor - Sometimes all you want is someone to chug beer and shout the refrains to some stupid songs with. Just keep him away from cats.

Octavia - You know what, better keep her away from cats as well.

#spop

[venusssus]

I can't even think of Hans coming back "home", even tho it literally happened at the end of Frozen 1. It breaks my heart to think what his "family" did to him after he returned. And I heard people say that his dad was unlucky to have such a son. His dad is not his dad. It is only a man who was supposed to be his father but failed terribly at being a parent and decided to raise his sons in toxic masculinity. I hate when people say he only wanted to take over Arendelle to be better than his brothers and seen by his father. Like…obviously. Obviously that is what he needed his whole life but all he got was this ;

Eating food leftovers.

I can feel his anxiety on this picture, from my own experience from kindergarten and my toxic relationships. It is not funny at all. Being bullied verbally and physically, especially by your own family for 20 years is literally living in hell. It wasn't the 21st century when you can call the police or go see a therapist. He was born in the 1800's when treating kids like this was nothing at all because King matters the most and the power he has so and no one from the outside of the castle will never know because Mr King Westergaard sweeps shit under the rug.--

I hate hate hate jokes or comments of hans’ haters aka people with lack of empathy saying Hans was selfish and narcisistic and all he ever wanted was the crown. No, he only wanted to be his Dad's son.

Not a monster, just a kid

#hans westergaard #prince hans #helsa #disney #hans frozen #hans of the southern isles #frozen #hans #frozen hans #elsa #queen elsa #redeem hans #frozen 3 #hans x elsa #frozen 2 #prince hans of the southern isles

[pinkvaquita]

MORE HEADCANONS, BECAUSE WHY NOT????

I kinda stole this from someone else because of them being inspired in egyptians gods that are brothers. But I am not totally sure if in the myth they are just brothers or they are twins. Sooo yeah. I thought twins fit them better than just brothers since they gave me that vibe. Even if they don't look a like at all. Sooo NON-IDENTICAL TWINS WOULD BE.

And yeah, for the few interactions I saw in the game, it would make sense that they sre the type of siblings to fight a lot.

My headcanon is that Burnt Cheese always since little wanted to be one of Golden Cheese guards, while Smoked thought that it was stupid to serve to someone else. And they also used to argue a lot about mostly anything because of they different personalities, (and the fact that Smoked in my head has undiagnosed NPD defenetly didn't make their lives more easy) but they still sometimes got a long and watched each others back.

Years past, they go from being little kids that argue about simple things to teenagers that have heavy political fights. That grow worse and worse when Burnt Cheese acomplishes his dream of being a guard .

For some years, they take separate paths. Not knowing of each other lives until, now being adults, Smoked starts his first revolt. Making Burnt ashamed of him and even denied that he knows him. Untill things get out of hand and Golden Cheese intervines.

Now that he is in serious problems, Burnt tries to stay away from the problem until he just can't ignore it anymore. Because even if Smoked is sometimes a narcisistic asshole, he is still his brother and doesn't want him to suffer... Too much.

So, after reciving a trial were Burnt tried to convince Golden Cheese to not be too severe with him. She decides to not send him to the coliseum again, in exchange for him to serve her by using his power of controlling beast to protect the kingdom.

And he accepts. He did not like serving, but it defenetly was better than rotting in jail or facing again the coliseum. And Burnt also got afected by this, he was in charge of making him used to his need job and to keep an eye on him in case he tried another revolt.

And that is how they are forced to be brothers again, still hating and still caring about the other. Like old times :D

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #crk #smoked cheese cookie #burnt cheese cookie #crk headcanons

[moonsfavoritedaughter]

Hi! Can you tell me about your PFP character? I see her around a lot, but I lve never really watched the videos.

oooohhh, care if i tell you the whole story? no? tysm!!!

okay so her full name is ashley graves, shes 20 years old, and well...

she used to live with her parents and her older brother, andrew graves, 2 years older, but this bitch, apart from being absolutly beutiful, is an obssesive, manipulative son of a motherfucker, cuz she forces her brother into doing things that her brother doesnt want to do, and then blames him for those things to make him feel guilty and put him closer to her, just to keep all his love to herself, she has made him kill a childhood girl named nina only cuz ashley found out that she liked andrew (also, in this time, when they are kids, they arent named andrew and ashley, but andy and leyley, cuz idk lil kid nicknames) they also buried the body terribly wrong and their parents found out that they killed that girl, putting us in the present where shes now stuck in an apartment cuz the water suply got contaminated with parasites and now theyre infected and quarantined, for some reason due to their blood type being AB they no longer get fed by the wardens, making them feel angry and wanted to leave, between all the things they did to get out of the apartment is: they saw how theyre neighbor summoned a demon and sacrificed himself by accident cuz he didnt have no soul to offer, ate the neighbor (cannibalism, yes, one of the qualities that made this game popular), also manually killed a warden with a cleaver, killed another warden undirectly by sacrificing him to the same demon, killed a woman from downstairs, and escaped.

gotta make sure you understand that these are not things that only ashley did, killing the warden manually and killing the neighbor from downstairs was andrews making, but only to protect ashley and himself, the rest of it ashley did it, and andrew took participation too, then when they left, they went to live to a far department, got chased by a hitman, killed the hitman, discovered a whole cult of satanists, learned a thing or two about them, also, forgot to mention that ashley stole a gun from one of the wardens, so they killed the hitman using that gun, then they stole a car and went to their parents house, also forgot to mention that when ashley sacrificed one of the wardens to the demon she got a lil trinket as a reward that would allow her to see visions of the future, which she used to avoid being killed by the hitman.

then when they were at their parents house, they stole all of their mothers money, discovered that their parents had sold their organs but failed, somehow, they still got the death certificates, then ashley and andrew just sacrificed their own parents to the same demon to recharge the trinket to be able to have more visons of the future, which one of em was about both siblings having sex (incest, the one thing that made this game popular in the first place) and then they left to get rid of their parents corpses in diferent ways, they also did human soup with their parents insides cuz why not (more cannibalism) and then they threw their bones and skulls into the ocean, the end, for now, im still waiting for chapter 3 to see how much sibling love and incest is there gonna be, and yeah theres a quite bunch more than to what i meantioned, but what you need to know the most about this girl is:

she is a relentless, selfish, narcisist, obsesive, manipulative, and horrible murder sister that doenst feel empathy for no one and deserves to suffer the most horrendous tortures of the medieval eras.

AND SHE GAVE ME A MASSIVE ATTACK OF GENDER DYSPHORIA, I WANNA HAVE HER BODY, NAME, AND PERSONALITY SO BAAAD 😭😭😭😭

[anaalonsoartist]

I still think they could do a reveal of Vecna being Elevens father. I still think Vecna is Elevens father although it’s still a fan theory. There’s a lot of Star Wars references this season . I just find Vecna attachment to Eleven odd if it doesn’t have something to do with him being related to her in some way.

Stranger Things 4 vol. 2 SPOILERS, just in case... Yeah, I have the same opinion (specially if 5th season is going to be divided in two parts like the 4th one -something still not known, by the way-, so such a revelation could be going perfectly there).

Vecna/One´s preference for Eleven does not make any sense if there is nothing more going on... Like, Eleven is too weak at first glance and Henry is not an empathetic person (on the other hand, he is a narcisist, so he overstimates himself and his powers, as we can see in the Creel house incident). Why would a narcisist take notice and help a weakling, when he has like a dozen of stronger, also maleable and traumatized, kids around him? And he is still reticent about killing Eleven when he is Vecna (and has been defeated by her). He wants her to join him instead, ala Vader with Luke. If Eleven is his child, and he is a narcisist, it makes sense that he would not want to destroy her, because probably he sees her like some extension of him.

One also remarked the reproduction part in his monologue about the absurdity of life (so probably he is also a nihilistic, like a lot of anime/manga/JRPG villains). And he was talking to Eleven there. So I don´t know why the Duffer brothers would put such a part in this dialogue if that meant nothing (a lot of animals can live a full life without reproduction, you know).

Finally, I can´t see how Vecna could be defeated at this point. Maybe recovering Max soul (but I assume there are other people in Hawkins with traumas...)? Maybe with help from other surviving powerful children, like Kali? Maybe with Will doing finally SOMETHING? Or... maybe Eleven will find a weakness in Vecna, and that weakness is precisely she (or the perspective of she as some Henry 2.0 from his POV)? Billy and Brenner showed their weakness and they  both were pr*cks, so... And I think Terry Ives will take some part in the finale, too, because she is remembered in all seasons and her actual situation is one of the cruelest, unfairest in all the series.

EDIT: I would also like to take the opportunity to remark how in this scene Jamie Cambell Bower (who is a fantastic actor, by the way) looks to the way and downs his gaze only in two occassions: first when he is talking about his story in the lab (”it doesn´t have a happy ending, I´m afraid”) and the other is when he talks about Eleven´s mother. The rest of the time he is looking directly, imperturbably and fixingly at Eleven´s gaze, something typical of narcisists and manipulators (so I understand he pitied himself... but Eleven´s mother? Why?). Looking down is usually done because we want to hide something, shyness (I would discard this one for this case) or some form of pity/pain/reflection:

P.S.: Could we also watch some kind of confrontation between Hopper and (other) father of Eleven? I think that was a lost opportunity with Brenner....

#stranger things spoilers #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things theory #stranger things 4 vol 2 #vecna #eleven father #eleven #001 #011 #henry creel #stranger things 5 #stranger things finale #peter ballard #terry ives #jane hopper #jane ives #jim hopper #fan theory #jamie campbell bower

[fox-the-artist-fruit-canid]

Similar face,but not the same

Remember i said long ago that i would redesing mis to differentiate him from the other timeline? Aka FFPO

Welp...here he is! This is Misael(Mis is the abrebiation to his name in the FFPO cannon) or shortly Ael.

He is a mix in between of like 3 diferent wasp or hornet species starting with the asian giant hornet.

Next the filipino hornet.

And last but not less important the warrior wasp

.

.

.

Personality

So taking that apart Ael could only be decribed as a backstabbing double faced poisonous viper due to his manipulative manners and fake friendly attitude.

Afther all don't let that wide kinda warm smile fool you since is the fakest thing you will ever see in your whole life,still it looks so true that is imposible to know unless you can ser straight to his soul.

Ael is an master manipulator aswell a mythomaniac and a pathological liar.

Aswell a bastard that will even get into a relationship for his own benefit and won't doubt to use people he knows as his expiatory goats if he is in some kind of trouble.

He is a pretty good actor and has it easy to fake something that is by far true,he can play the paper of a victim pretty easily and suddenly change it to a happy and energic person out of nowhere.

Tho his true personality is cold,uncarring n kinda letargic in complete contrast with his more energic,happy and carring fecade,as well the actual Ael is rude and crude at the moment of expresing things.

He sometimes is a bit egocentric and a narcisist in nature but is pretty unusual,he tends to appear calm but he gets anoyed pretty easily making him short tempered.

Relations

The relations he makes with his poor range of friends or his lil family are slightly seen as something more than just useful for him and he truly dosen't bother that much if something happens to someone close to him.

Maybe he does care more than usual if it has something to be with his brother but outside that,someone could die and he simply wouldn't care.

His ralation towards his father is the same maybe even more hateful,his ralation with his mother is aswell similar,while the relation with take his brother is more likely neutral since Ael dosen't interact that much with him.

Still despite being Ael who raised Take since their father didn't care that much for them their relation isn't that warm or loving like the FFPO Mis family dinamic is.

He only has two friends on this timeline Zbra kinda his partner and most loyal follower as well who Ael uses to satisfy his bloodlust with since Zbra is kinda like a walking bloodbag.

And Cherry his right hand an female shrimp mantis hibrid that is the one that helps him in almost anything even on misions,she knows who Ael is truly down his mask but she could be more careless since she knows in her case Ael won't betray her.

As for frenemies there are both Saeri and Y they get along with Ael but they can sence someting odd in him so they decide to better not get that comfy around him.

And there also enters Toxik tho i bet he would know who and how he truly is down the mask but similar to cherry he wouldn't care but will be cautious,afther all Ael has nothing on his counter so the wasp would not harm him.

Other issues

He has an antisocial personality disorder wich makes him pretty much reckless and in many ocasions irresponsible of his actions,as well half the reason for him manipulating the people around him.

He has an drinking problem and a suspected but non confirmed drug addiction,aswell an stealing habbit things he ofthen denys the existence off but in some ocasions they can be a bit to obvious to deny.

He lost both his antenae and eye in a fight with an very prepotent elite that attacked him without taking in count the consequences and left him half blind and witout antenae said fight is also the origin for the other scar on his face.

Ael could be cosidered both a vampire and a cannibal since he dosen't have issues on consuming irken blood or meat,tho he is more of a vampire that enjoys consuming irkens like capri suns.

He has anger issues but they are controled since Ael maneges them with medicines and his own method of therapy wich is hiting walls,hard objects or things like punching bags and training manequins until his anger is washed out.

Ael still has the illness but he uses his acting skills to fake he is alright when in reality he is actual agonaizing pain,said pain sometimes is way to much to fake out and his acting could have breaks that make obvious his pain.

Ael didn't passed trough the incident in fact that day an beloved elite called olive died since he didn't intervine like the actual mis did.

Work facts

Ael still works as an active imperial exterminator the reason why he carrys the elite mark on his eyepatch as well more prominent armor pices in his cloak.

Ael is at the moment the captain of the order alpha of exterminators tho to get there...the way had to be painted in blood...still he finally arrived to the status he has now but at the cost of a high price of pink blood.

In fact if you get to close to him you would be able to smell the blood out of ael as well the strong but sweet perfume he uses in tries to cover the smell of the blood.

Due to his habit of eliminating elites due to his hatred towards them for the incident of his eye he won the tittle of elite anihilator,name given by elites themselfs when they had to report the disapearence of several elites provoqued by a unknown perpetrator.

Insect parts and poison facts

He can and will spit venom at your face if he feels threatened as well his fangs contain a small dose of his poison that acts more like an anesthetic.

The horns and sharp ends of his elbows are remobable bia breaking them out,this parts are secondary stingers that contain less venom than the principal stinger but are strong enough to cause an extreme wave of pain and a big poisoning.

The principal stinger that is at the extreme of his tail has the bigger dose of venom in it wich,is a neurotoxin kind of poison that if inyected many times it can cause an anaphylactic shock even to non alergic people followed by a complete organic failure.

The firts sting is always the strongest and potentialy lethal while the sencodary stings are to reinforce the first one.

Said organic failure caused by an acelerated sepsis kind of process that leads you in a pain and agony sesion of arround 20 minutes of duration till your decease.

Tho the times he has to sting someone per day to get to this point are arround 5 times the maximum,times he can sting without felling tired or without any adverse affect such as fatigue or muscular pains.

The stinger needle can be lost if sting reach to 8 in the same moment a very painful and tiring process,tho the needle can regenerate it takes several weeks to regrow to its total length while the secondary stingers late around 10 to 12 days to regain their full lenght.

Ael's tail makes a tik n tok sound when it moves from lefth to right sometimes to signal he is nervous or is growing anxious,as well is a treath or signal of anger specially when the sound and movement are fast.

His wings can bibrate and high speeds producing a drumbing kind of noice that functions to be threat and a warning of the "fuck around and find out" kind since he only does it when he is really angered or anoyed and has had enough.

His tounge is similar to the one of a snake and functions similarly since it can be used to detect potencial prey or other creatures around him as well a smell detector to things like blood,he sometimes blebs it unconciously when something cought his attention.

Fun fact: if Ael and the normal Mis coexisted in the same space they will be constantly fighting Mis triying to protect his and his loved ones lifes from him and Ael will be triying to eat his counter part since 2 of the especies he is based on usually eat bees.

Fun fact 2: i made this fucker with the mindset of hating him but now i think he is stuck with me

---

Aniway remember to touch grass and drink water

Fox out

#oc's #my art #defective lotus au #iz au #iz oc #mis the defective #four for the price of one au #ael the vampiric hornet

[solardick]

What i like about wearing a vidible crusifix, in this evil dominant country. Is the look on peoples faces when they intantly recognize that they’re beign sinful.

Or you got thenpther people whom take pride in being cuntz. Is the loathing on their faces. Well y’all like your vedio games and your phones. You can thank god for that. And the “patriarchy” which inverntes technology.

I can go on a big long rant about femmes and thr moon. But i wont. Cause you know im tight.

Or sum bs. Hooky tomorow. Aint risking it.

Hope this ass thing they engennered on me. Goes away. Wonder whats next.

Tried rubbing one out with this feeling. Came instantly. No relax, no chill, no pleasure. Go see a third. Wonder if im going to be able to underdatnd what they’re saying this time. But, theres no need for comunication. So they’ll definatally will speak my tongue. Fuckem jamie the worst ine of the family. Spychotic tard. Womder if he’s tried to kill

Anyone recently.

Fuck theyre a bunch if fucktards. Fucken children. Wish i like fucking with people too. Maybe i can fallow them home and stalk them from outside the widow till i catch them doing somethingembarassig. And then rub it in the next day. Like they do. Why sid they wait so long before getting lazy in fucking with me? Not even original. Its the same bs my family sis to me all therouhh childhood. The same shit thwy did to me in school. I just report facts. Its like im 8 again. Or just learning to walk. With inparwnting death traps left laying around. Where the same treatment for all the positive stuff? Oh yeah. Its diesnt happen that way. Peiple only care about the negatives.

Well time to go check the mailbox and donate atleast 200$ to charity today. Will i get rewarded for that? No. Everything ive ever cared about has been being murdered since childhood. By stuid gfucktards playninh stupid. So they font have to try very hard. At least pudgy batman showed me an once of resistance when i first got there. So he has some measure of a soul. Grateful for that. But save for talking about hay shit the other day whole making a noose and raising it above his head to be as visible as possible. But after 30 years if this shit. Its imposible to keep down. But nate. Is peobably the noggist peive of shit there. So much so that god interveen and warned me about him. But, because im such a good person. I gave him a try anyway. Several chances but, all he fid was fuck around. So now. Im just going to tell him to shut the fuck up or to fuck off. Everytime i see him.

Guess i kust have to keep going u til they tire out and semd someone new.

Cant afford to give up

My only source of authentic communication. Even if its only this. The only thing thats kept me going these last 8-10 years. Windernif the have another desease to give me. At least im still obstinate. While being aexually harrased by fuck e retards. Come swith losing tour virginity in childhood and doing something stupid with it. While being chemically imbalanced with the onset of puberty. And environemntal violence, bad idols and unmonitored “subpervission” which is the whole point have havign a fucken baby. Oh well and sharing a bedroom with a spychotic older brother with murderous rage. And an alchoholic drug addled other brother. Who kept trying to convince you tondo stupid things. While given cigareets and drugs to a teenager. In fact if you combine nate and pudgy batman you have an exact replica of my fatger and his parenting. Nothign but curses and swearing and that narcisist holier than thou bs that bate gives. Well add in a little bit of my brother jamie in there. My korher wanted a girl so bad that she named her next two sons woth girl names. I literally dont know anythign better.

At least by doing this i have some sense of control o er other people fucking with me. But it be nice to have a pet or something a cat or as art bird. Save that someone will

Probably kill it like every pet ive had. But its bad enough tgat im not alloed having a coherent conversation with a doctor. But ohh well.

Ca t wait till i grt a couple boyfriends and spend the rest of my life in pure bliss. A gay gouole lookign for a queer.

Personally. Authletes arent worth that much money. Insyead of multiple millions a year. How about they make. Maybe a hundred grand a year. And all the other profit goes straight to infastucture or health care. But., nope. Some asshole gets paid too kuch money.

Unfortunatly. I could t find the last 50$ bill on my floor somewhere. Proabbaly undwr all that trash. So the children. Will have to make die with a 150$ today.

Anyway i lwanred that a mytual reception between jupiter and uranus in awua and sag means criminal imderworld.

Crows just told me they are toaking smack about me at work right now. I even asked them. And they got

More vocal

There we go. Got a receit and everything.

Yesterday nate was like hey man. And i was like fuck off. And he was like hahhahahah. Comes back later. Are you bored? Fucknoff nate. Hahahahahah laughs again. Stands theres. What the fuck did i just say?! And he was like, Fuck off. And leaves. It was great. While they were teying to piss me off with keagan being absent half the day and then tony comes up to rub it in.hwy wheres tour partner? They all suck. I dont know how people live like that. I was raiswd by those eople and i syill dont get it.

I y’all stalk ny profile and knownits me and use it agaisnt me. Then why show any respect or sparebyour names? Im getting fucked either way.

Yeah… it gets too much fir me too. Want to close it all down again. Notjing to do. And the i have zero social energy going into anything.

Well its time to go see what cruel and unusual punishment they have for me today. Do what they always do elevate the pressure of my responsibities at the same time they elevate the pressure in social relations. Stress me out as much as possible while playing another side game. Abuse me into another state of belligerence and then try Nd make me feel likes its my fault even though i don’t know whats going on. Righy now its what they are doing slowly adding in has much bs as they can while blaming it on an outside factor in which i should be routing for. Or some shit. Or maybe another girl to harrase me and ehen i ask her to stop in the my friendly esy possible i get framed for harrasment. Or some shit.

Teying to find an actuall himan being on this life line i was given. Seems an imposibility. 39 years later the world is still a threat to me. Womder what lifenis like. Noy being victimized.in a world that preaches peace, love and security. I have still left without experiencing any of it. Only its opposite. Nothing but threats.

Iys just like childhood and school. Singled out serrounded by assholes. Criminals, bigots, druggies, alcoholics, and pervs.

I guess ill never know who i am without all these fucken cockskrs ruinign ymmlife.

Bathan alm ost went to the hospital. Today. Inatigation.. ive never seen red before.

God was right. Always is. At keast ingave bc donethin in to be gratefu l for. Q

I almost pulled a jamie. Went full psychotic with a a hand held weapon. But, i cant be any more jamie than that fucktard. Playign stupid everyday. Isnt that draining? Jesus.

Promised myself i would never hurt another hum a being. But y’all

Make that very difficult. And indotn eant to be there anymore anyway. And have to be subjected to all that stupid bs. Wveryday.

Moral of that story. Dont eat ten bags of low fat popcorn over a period of three days.

[cybernightwanderer]

Double Standarts

Mom when she wants me to do something : - Yells. - Threatens. - Non-Stop insisting and getting mad. - Beating me up. - Name calling. - All of the above. Mom when she wants my brother to do something : - Asks one time , he says no , she gives up. - Sometimes ask more than once, he will say no, she yells, he still doesn do it ,she gives up. - Doesn't even ask, just doesnt wanna " bother him "

#depression #suicide #anxiety #trauma #abuse #mysoginistic mother #mysoginistic brother #narcisistic brother #narcisistic mother #domestic violence #domestic abuse #ptsd #slave

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

I wanted to share with you something that happend. In my country we have Big Brother every year and is (sadly) very very popular like almost everyone talks about it (i know not every country gives this much shit but we do). And one girl asked to leave cause she thought they were all actors around her like ?? She thought it was a Truman Show situation. And everyone there was just acting. Is this someone having a mental breakdown OR a narcisist? She's tiktok famous so being a narcisist is part of the job but like to the point were you think everything is about YOU? AFTER YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW? wild!

My first thought (noting that obviously I have not seen what happened/only have this ask to go off of) is that I hope she's doing alright and that this is not a case of a mental episode like you said. Like I don't think it's narcissistic tendencies (because there's no such thing as a narcissist, just someone with narcissistic personality disorder or on a less severe level, more prone to narcissistic tendencies which we can all have) if it's psychologically impacted, it sounds more psychosis/paranoia related. But yeah unfortunately the cynic in me has seen networks use this type of shit for ratings before so it wouldn't surprise me if this is part of the show as shitty as that feels to say. Anyway if it's legitimately how she's feeling, I hope she's okay and that the show let her leave.

[janethesiren]

my brother is disappointed in me all the time, my friends and mom are tired of my pain and struggles, my grades are awful, my work is awful and i can't and don't want to have a job at teaching because I do not know how to make people learn. the love of my life kicked me in the ass but didn't let me leave, ended up arguing and crying the hardest I ever have. i don't think i'm a good person. i'm pretty sure i'm a pathological narcisist and i will not achieve content or happiness

#jane.txt

[dearreaderyourenotonyourown]

Dear Reader,

All my life, I felt alone, I felt like I was invisible.

And you can say to me, but Giih who never felt like this once in this life?

I know. Everyone.

But have you ever felt like, you're only a nuisance? That your holding, everyone you love, down?

I'm used to this feeling, and I know it's awful, but sometimes it's life.

Sometimes people are lucky enough to be born in a wonderful family, with of course problems, but with so much love, that was not my case.

My parents hate it each other, they had the definition of a Toxic/Abusive, all the freaking red flags kind of relationship.

My mother is a jealous, envious, controlling, manipulative, compulsive cleaner, rich, spoilled, woman, who's favorite activity besides shopping more than she can afford and later cry for someone to help her, is humiliating others, yes this includes me very much.

My father is a controlling, manipulative, the holder of the truth in the world, I have no problems, spoilled man, the youngest of 7, of a family that did not have that much money, who's favorite activity is to determine what everyone should or not do and how something should be done, besides of course be emotional abusive and of course, have no problem hitting anyone, yes, again, this very much includes me. (Not that my mom has a problem in hitting people too).

And of course both extremely narcisist.

So as a child, of only 4 years old, I had to separate them when they fought before it got to big of fight, or they would hit each other and hurt each other.

This was my job, and I saw mutiple times, this, my mother once punched my father in the face and his glasses sinked on his skin, his was holding me, he had to beat her in order for her to stop. The motive of the fight you ask me? My brother kicked her car's tire, once, my brother was 8 years old, he is deaf, and have what I think is a light to moderate intellectual disability.

My mother loves to parade around town with my brother to say how good of a mother she is, but she only cares for him, because his is her golden goose, she didn't even let him learn sign language, so he would be completely at her mercy, that's how mean and cruel she is. And in her promenades around town with him, when I left home to my english lessons, when I returned (my teacher used live very close), she was already out, and I was all alone in the street, hungry, sometimes cold, when my teacher was home she let me stay.

And yes, my father knew, he just didn't care.

So yes, I grew up feeling like a problem, because my mother could at least pretend she loves my brother, and my father is the best to everyone.

So the problem was clearly me right? I was the one who's obviously was not worth it of being loved not even in pretending.

The problem is this broke me so much that I still feel like this, I am not worth it, and the other problem ? Is that I wish so hard to be loved, that someone will love me like in a farytale, because my only comfort as a child was Disney princess, and I'm a hoppeless romantic that believes in soulmates and in "They lived happily ever after".

But I know I cannot find love without loving me first, this is one of the motives that I'm writting right now, maybe we can help each other to love ourselves, to be kind with ourselves.

Because I'm tired of feeling like a nuisance, and a problem and the pathethic daughter of them, I want to be free of everything that holds me down.

And I know that even if it takes time, I will be free. We all are.

Love,

Giih.

#possibly triggering #spilled thoughts #author #openletter #safe space #freedom #emotinal

[misterradio]

okay here are my renfield 2023 thoughts [peace sign] you have been spoiler warned.... and long-post-warned.....

okay first off this is the first movie i have watched in a theatre in years and it was really fun ::-) i do have a headache now though. there werent a lot of people in the theatre and apparently at some point someone came in just to have a muttered conversation in his phone and left? RUDE! also the seats were very comfy.

anyways here are some actual movie thoughts:

the set design and lighting was so cool ESPECIALLY for dracula's lair with the eerie lighting around the blood-bag throne. so cool!! i liked renfield's house which was very much the opposite where it was very colourful. him finding his own modern sense of style was a neat detail.

did not care for the cops. didnt even really care for the crime ring plot. actually i didnt really feel invested in any of the characters even though i feel i shouldve... i watched this movie bc i wanted to see how it went and that i did! i wish i could have had stronger positive feelings.

my brother said that it was a very "modern movie" and i have to agree... i've been watching a lot of various older movies in general, this one definitely had a very different vibe. maybe im just not familiar with the genre? it just had like... modern humour / sensibilities... i dont knoowwww

re; the last two points: a lot of this movie was focusing on analyzing renfield and draculas relationship, but it used very clinical language to describe everything, so it did a lot more talking about the idea of an abusive relationship than really making me feel like that's what was happening ??!?!??!!?? also they were really throwing the concept of narcisists under the bus.

i liked the music during the credits but i have to admit i didnt think about the music during the movie. the credits in general were also cool they had really neat visuals ::-)

F--K COPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what else can i say.

one review i read said the gore was over the top and played for comedy aand they were RIGHT i was actually quite shocked at first how much gore there was. it wasnt even good most of the time but that was kind of making it funnier.

it was fun and good in a way that a lighthearted action comedy splatter movie would be good. do not expect emotional depth? (which seems like it wouldve been an important factor to get strong in this movie?) also remember this is following the concept of the 1931 movie not the book lol. i dont think you need to know either of them to enjoy this movie but the background knowledge is nice.

i wish i could see a dracula (book) adaptation where the characters are intact and also renfield is actually 59 years old... he is so young all the time please age this frickin guy

----------

le more thoughts i am adding on after thinkin on it more....

i didnt think of it while the movie was going but they never quoted dracula ever. bit sad. i would have been delighted by any book references (besides the obvious). the most they do is have a characters father be named 'morris quincy' (like quincy morris from the original novel).

how does dracula exist in this universe? ppl seem to acknowledge familiarity with him, but is it as a fictional character thru a book, or a mythological figure, etc..?

i said this in another post but, i would have liked to SEE renfields rocky relationship rather than having it be stated for the audience via narration... i also would love to know how renfield went from the wacky ~insane~ guy in the 1931 movie (which they acknowledge renfield in the asylum here!) to being a regular plain guy in the present. how did he change so much.... was he delusional or did dracula make his delusions real......

also tumblr was dropped by name. in this movie. and i have to say. it was actually funny.

they should have had nick cage look gorey and gross more often. i liked his look when he like had his skin on his face just barely on there. so cool.

#original nonsense #personal

[braghis]

YuGiOh, 4Kids Dub. vs Original Manga:

4Kids dub. :

Atem (Yami Yugi) is an ideal hero who could do no wrong;

People who lost a ShadowGame go to the ShadowRealm, a sort of another hell-ish dimension;

Joey, before meeting Yugi, was just an idiot who bullied him with Tristan;

Seto Kaiba is a genius CEO of a mega corporation, and a narcisistic rich asshole who loves himself and who's petty and the funniest of them all;

Ryou Bakura is a sweet angel who unfortunately was possessed by a super evil ancient egyptian spirit;

True duelists believe in and are driven by TheHeartOfTheCards;

(Yami) Marik Ishtar wanted to conquer and dominate the world because he is a Super Evil Villain ™️;

Ishizu Ishtar is a caring sister who's also always optimistic and believes in fate and big goodness;

The seven millenium items are amazing and incredibile and for the good guys;

Gozaburo Kaiba, after losing his position as the president of KC, simply ran away;

Seto and Mokuba went to an orphanage because they are orphans;

Original Manga written by Katzuki Takahashi:

Atem (Yami Yugi) killed (including setting a guy into fire) and he used the powers of the Millennium Puzzle to traumatized 'till madness several people. Even if they were act of punishments towards malevolent individuals, said acts were often excessive in relation to the context. Atem at the beginning was mostly a sociopath, and that's problably because he spent 3000 years alone in the puzzle;

The "ShadowRealm" doesn't exist. People who lost a ShadowGame or died or went to coma, like Jonouchi or Mai (even if is mostly dying than going to coma);

Jonouchi, before meeting Yugi, was a literal gangster who frequently, alongside Honda, hanged out with gangs of bullies, that not only bullied people like Yugi, but were even famous for their strealing. This was do to the fact that Jonouchi's mother kinda abandoned him while his father was a poor alchoholic man.

Seto Kaiba is a genius CEO of a mega corporation and a highly traumatized teenager with PTSD. His step-father Gozaburo used games to teach him life lessons like the "To lose is to die" thing and "motivated" him with corporal punishments, like the (possibly shock) collar Seto was forced to wear. Because of the abuses, he is now emotionally stunted and has enourmous trust issues. His bad behavior is here because he's very fucked in the head and that's why he's not a villain. Kaiba is the most realistic and tragic depiction of a teenager whit deep emotional traumas who grow up without parental figures;

Ryou Bakura is a sweet angel who is also clearly mentally unstable because of childhood traumas and he is constantly amnesiac as a coping mechanism of the fact that he's possessed by an evil ancient egyptian spirit;

The HeartOfTheCards doesn't exists. Duelists use mostly strategy or simply have luck. Just few of them have a real connection with some cards, like Yugi, Atem, Kaiba or Jonouchi;

Marik Ishtar isn't evil. He developed that dark side of his after being tortured, emotionally and phisically, by his father, who didn't saw him as his own person, but just as a "tool" to protect the Pharaoh's tomb and legacy. The Ishtar family gave up their freedom for 3000 years for their mission, and so Yami Marik wanted to kill Atem after making him suffer in the worst ways possibile to take revenge on him. In his dark days, Marik killed several people and, at just the beginning, his own father (even if he deserved it);

Ishizu Ishtar is a caring sister who was read to commit suicide if her brother would have be gone forever;

The Seven Millennium Items were done for good purposes, despite the fact that for creating them an entire village and doziens of innocent people were sacrificed, a crime that Atem's father and uncle covered up. Baruka was the only survivor of that village and that's what made him consumed with anger and immense hatred towards Atem and his allies;

Gozaburo Kaiba, after losing his position as the president of KC, commited suicide to teach even more to Seto the "To lose is to die" lesson, as a final step of the emotional control towards him. That traumatized the hell out of Seto and that's why he was that psycotic sociopath at the beginning of the manga (until Atem mind crushed him). Gozaburo is also the reason Kaiba takes winning games so seriously while, on the other hand, Seto has a genuine passion for Duel Monsters and he uses the game as a trauma coping mechanism and way to communicate to people and that's why he's so obsessed with it;

Seto and Mokuba are orphans, but they went to an orphanage because their other relatives abandoned them;

#yugioh #yugioh duel monsters #pharaoh atem #yami yugi #yugi muto #seto kaiba #katsuya jonouchi #hiroto honda #marik ishtar #ishizu ishtar #thief king bakura #ryou bakura #kazuki takahashi