johnschneiderblog

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'Clickbait'

Have you noticed that people are paying too much attention to the so-called life taking place on their phones these days and too little attention to the life going on around them ...?

If not, then you must be in a particularly intense relationship with that gadget in your hand because otherwise you couldn't help but notice.

That's the point, obviously, this New Yorker cover; the cat is so busy chasing virtual mice on its phone that it doesn't notice the real mice - the ones frolicking within reach while the cat is mentally "away."

But, as I see it, the illustration - appropriately titled "Clickbait" - does an injustice to cats. A cat would never choose a virtual mouse over a real one. That's a human trick.

#John Schneider #virtual life vs. real life #“Clickbait” #New Yorker cover #cell phone addiction

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Fun and games

How many college graduates does it take to assemble a combination "Ladderball. Bean Bag Toss & Washer Toss" game ...?

Two, but only with the help of a YouTube guy.

In our defense, the assembly instructions were, as usual, worthless - largely because the parts weren't numbered as promised..

I turned to the Internet and found a how-to video. Three of them, in fact. Each used a color code for assembly, as opposed to numbers. But the colors in the videos bore no resemblance to the colors of our set, even though they were the same brand and model number.

After several hours, numerous rewinds of the video and a few blue streaks, we met the challenge

#John Schneider #some assembly required #ladderball/bean bag toss/washer toss game #impossible instructions #YouTube videos

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Stood up!

I don't where these guys were Tuesday morning. Looking for love, perhaps, in all the wrong places, on the other side of our woodlot.

I was waiting for them before dawn, in my pop-up blind, overlooking a hen decoy.

Just at daylight, when turkeys fly down from their roosts high in the branches of the hardwoods, I became involved in a promising conversation. Me, with my wooden turkey call; tom, with his silver tongue.

Me: "Er ... er ... er ... screech, screech ...er .... er..."

Tom: "Gobble ... gobble ... gobble ... gobble ..."

I repeated myself, he repeated himself. It soon became apparent, however, that the gobbles were growing fainter. He was headed in the wrong direction.

But it was a beautiful morning in the woods and the season is young.

#John Schneider #wild turkeys #hunting #pop-up blind #turkey calling

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Fawn patrol

I have yet to spot a newborn whitetail this spring but, judging from the belly of the doe second from right in this quartet I photographed Sunday, I expect to see some spots any day now.

Fawns are born about 6 months after the November breeding season, in May or June. Yearling does usually give birth to one fawn, while mature, healthy does usually have twins.

Here in lower Michigan, where the winters are relatively mild and food plentiful, triplets are not unusual. In fact, I think that's what we're seeing here - the pregnant doe and her three 1-year-olds still clinging to those apron strings.

Fawns weight 6 to 8 pounds at birth, and will weigh 60-70 pounds by their first winter.

#John Schneider #deer #fawning season #twins #triplets

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Ramping it up

Invariably the first splashes of green in our woodlot are ramps, a kind of wild green onion.

They're completely edible and I've heard it argued that they're superior, in certain recipes, to store-bought onions. Sharon used them the other day in a grouper sauce; generally we just cut them up in our salads.

They've been known to show up at Detroit's Eastern market - $12-15 for a puny bunch - and Etsy wants $39.95 for 25.

Here, they're free for the picking.

#John Schneider #ramps #wild green onions #foraging

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April flurries? Ho-hum ...

In case we had forgotten the fact that spring above the 45th Parallel is always an iffy proposition, we got a brief, but robust, snow flurry Saturday morning at the lake.

No accumulation, but a reminder to never expect much from the vernal equinox which, as you my recall, came and went a month ago.

Saturday's weather event caused us to reminisce: the Mother's Day blizzard we experience one May near Charlevoix, the snowflakes that fell on the Fourth of July parade in the Upper Peninsula town of Paradise, where we vacationed for a few years ...

T.S. Eliot famously called April the cruelest month. But only if we expect it to behave like June.

#John Schneider #snow flurry at the lake a month after spring's official arrival #Mother's Day blizzard #Fourth of July snowflakes #T.S. Eliot

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'Civil War': a message among the cliches

As you can see, "Civil War" showed up on the marquis of the Kingston Theater in Cheboygan, Michigan, where we happen to be at the moment.

Sharon and I have been hearing the buzz. We've read the early reviews. We saw the director, Alex Garland, interviewed on the PBS Newshour. We were intrigued enough to drive to town Friday night.

Expecting something a little more original - even more profound, maybe - I was disappointed. The movie teems with all the cliches of any apocalyptic disaster movie.

You've got the perky girl who won't take no for an answer (Mattie Ross in both versions of "True Grit" does it much better ... and without all the F-bombs.)

You've got the wise old veteran (think Morgan Freeman), the hard-charging female journalist whose career has left her damaged in some vague way, the thrill-seeking male reporter who never seems to take a single note ...

And yet the movie manages to drive home its main point: that extremism invariably leads to violence. It's a point that can't be made often enough, especially in these times.

(PS: If you go, you might want to bring ear plugs for the final 20 minutes or so.)

#John Schneider #Sharon #“Civil War” #teems with cliches #extremism producing violence

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Too deep, too cold, too heavy

On our first beach walk of the year Thursday I spotted this puddingstone stunner in two feet of water.

But it's still basically late winter on northern Lake Huron, hardly the season for wading into the water. Plus, we were a couple hundred yards down the beach - a long walk with a boulder on my shoulder.

In the unlikely event that the shifting sands don't bury the stone, maybe I'll retrieve it with our kayak once things warm up. Or, maybe this photo will have to suffice.

#John Schneider #Sharon #beach walk #puddingstone #water too cold #norther Lake Huron

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Bar-hopping

Temperature: 44 degrees. Winds speed: 22 mph. Cell phone service: 4 solid bars.

Trumpets, please ....

On Wednesday, as we entered the home stretch in our first trip to the cottage this year - 10 miles of U.S. 23 - Sharon gave me continuous rolling reports: "three bars ....two bars ... three bars ... one bar ... two bars ... "

So it went, a real cliffhanger, but when we pulled into our driveway, we had four beautiful bars on our phones and speedy access to the Interner.

As I wrote Monday, we parted ways with our long-time cell/Internet provider (AT&T) and took up with T-Mobile for cell service, with a portable Wi-Fi hotspot.

With the AT&T hotspot, our service at our cottage near Cheboygan was pretty good, but at home it was barely functional. The T-Mobile guy got out his map and assured us that the switch would yield better service at both places.

Here's to you, T-Mobile guy ...

#John Schneider #Sharon #cell/Internet service #AT&T #T-Mobile

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Moment of truth

In a recent blog I decried the torpid pace of our Internet service out here in what the tech people cheerfully call a "dead zone" - a little telecommunications semi-desert less than 10 miles from the MSU campus.

Well, we screwed up our courage and pulled the plug on the whole shebang. We are now in the bosom of a whole different telecom giant, a representative of which assured us that a new set-up - his set-up - would serve us well at both our home and cottage.

At home, it's a definite improvement. The second big test will come later today, in our first trip this year to the lake house, which also happens to lie in an Internet/cell phone weak spot.

The rep checked his map and assured us of strong signal. We'll see.

#John Schneider #dead zone #switching phone/Internet service #telecom giants #cottage test today

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Dandephobia!

Sorry, but I had no way of warning you about this photo in advance. Look away, if you must. Move on. And if the image causes you nightmares, I apologize.

Me? I'll sleep well. I'm not afraid of dandelions and, being out here, beyond from the disapproving eyes of suburban lawn enthusiasts, I don't have to be. There's nobody to accuse me of aiding and abetting the proliferation of yellow flowers.

Somewhere in the history of lawns, somebody decided that the only color to be tolerated is deep green. Monochromatic, unblemished, carpet-like.

Since then, homeowners have been faithful to that ideal, even though it usually means pouring harmful chemicals into the earth. The folks at Scotts and Ortho don't mind a bit.

It's clear to me that Mother Nature doesn't agree. Mother Nature favors diversity. She loves dandelions and abhors monochromatic lawns. I'm with her.

(By the way, I can't claim ownership of the crop shown above. I took the photo at a highway rest stop in Indiana on Sunday. Here in Michigan the dandelions are just getting started.)

#John Schneider #dandelions #lawn care #monochromatic #harmful chemicals

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Checkerboard wizard

"Nonplussed" is a word I don't throw around every day. But it's the word that best describes how I felt when my grandson. still 10 days shy of 9, trounced me in checkers over the weekend. Two games in a row.

I would readily concede that when it comes to video games, I wouldn't stand a chance against the kid. But checkers ... ? That's supposed to be my metier.

Historians estimate that humans have been playing checkers since around 3,000 B.C. It hasn't been quite that long for me, but I hit my stride when checkers were still made out of wood.

The kid went on to whip his 11-year-old brother and, after maneuvering his grandmother to an untenable position, mercifully declared the game a draw.

What makes him so good ...?

#John Schneider #Sharon #grandsons #checkerboard wizard #ancient game

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Or is it just me ....?

There I was, cold water running down my forearm, wondering, once again, why I can't find a hose/nozzle combination that doesn't leak at one end or the other.

I've tried the cheap ones and the expensive ones. I've bought enough rubber washers to fill a washtub (and one of these days I'm going to find them all). I drain the hoses in the winter and bring the nozzles in. The leaks persist.

I sought answers from Google and learned that ... " .... leaks are an ever-present issue for gardeners. They’re particularly frustrating when the garden hose is leaking at the nozzle ..."

"All you need to fix this problem is a trip to the hardware store for a new washer (or to your tool shed if you keep a few on hand) ...."

That may work for other people, but not for me.

#John Schneider #leaky garden hoses and nozzles #frustrating

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Green acres

Forty-eight hours ago, I would have described this patch of lawn on the north side of our house as dung .brown, with greenish highlights.

Then it started raining - a steady, gentle dousing that lasted for two days and transformed the landscape, almost instantly. No doubt the next warm spell will force me onto my lawn tractor.

And that's not all the 2-day rain did. It drew out the local cherry blossoms and gave the maple tree buds the courage to burst forth. It encouraged the peepers to express themselves and the neighborhood mallards to reunite and find a pond.

#John Schneider #two-day rain #transformed landscape #from brown to green

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Stealth salt

In the household of my childhood, a salt shaker was a permanent fixture on the dinner table.

I quit using one around the time I learned about the deleterious effects of salt on blood pressure and health in general, But, as you know, when it comes to limiting salt, avoiding salt shakers isn't nearly enough.

The New York Times recently published an entertaining quiz regarding stealth salt, the point being that salt lurks where we least expect it. - on every shelf of every American grocery store.

It was a "Which of theses foods has more salt?" kind of thing, with surprising answers.

Some examples:

Table salt is actually saltier that Kosher salt.

One slice of Pepperidge Farms white bread conains more salt than a 12-ounce bag of Doritos.

Two tablespoons of Newman's Own Caesar salad dressing contains more salt than medium-sizem McDonalds fries.

Eight ounces of V8 vegetable juice is saltier than one National Hebrew hot dog.

#John Schneider #stealth salt #unhealthy #New York Times quiz #surprising answers

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Harmonic convergence

The first night of the Capitol City Film Festival (right here in River City) brought us the documentary "CAMP RiCSTAR", which will be a hard act to follow, indeed.

The film tells story of the Eric "RicStar" Winter Music Therapy Camp in East Lansing, which, for 20 years, has allowed people with disabilities to unleash their inner musicians

I can't claim complete neutrality here. Sharon and I have strong connections to "CAMP RICSTAR":

The movie was produced by our friends, Dick and Judy Winter, who, by the way, created and nurtured the camp in honor of their son Eric, who was born with cerebral palsy and died in 2003 at age 12. Judy and Dick were determed to mine some good out of their tragic loss and, boy, did they strike gold.

As you can see from the photo the film is dedicated, in part, to our daughter Jessica, who died in 2002 at age 25. Jessica also had disabilities. An endowment we established in Jessica's name through the MSU School of Music provides financial support to the camp.

Lord Huron's front man makes a cameo appearance in the film, speaking not only as a musician, but as somebody who witnessed the positive, soothing effect of music on his sister.

The film already has won some big awards and is bound to win more. It's a compelling portrait of the power of music to change lives.

#John Schneider #Sharon #'CAMP RICSTAR' documentary #Capital City Film Festival #Dick and Judy Winter #Eric Winter

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Back to yellow

I'm pretty sure it was the Grey Poupon TV commercials that did it. Suddenly we turned our backs on classic yellow mustard in favor of the Dijons, the spicy browns, the honeys and whole grains ...

In our rush to demonstrate our sophisticated taste in condiments, we ditched the original - the one that went so well with our ball park hot dogs.

Did we ever pause to question whether the new mustards actually tasted better than the old one, or did we march blindly toward the new?

Well, I'm back to yellow. With no alternative immediately available, I slapped some on a brat the other day, took a bite and said to myself, "Oh yeah - that's how mustard is supposed to taste.": Nice and yellowy.

#John Schneider #yellow mustard #fancy mustard #ball park hotdogs