#my personal experience is being raised by my parents who didn't know any better

[somekangarookid]

i'm always so proud of people who are fighting so hard to try and be better. it's not always an easy thing. it's not always just realizing you made a mistake and you can apologize and learn to do better in the future. sometimes it's learning your whole worldview was painted for you, that you were raised to hurt yourself and others. breaking away from that is hard when it's the "reality" you've been living for possibly decades. you were actively shielded or punished from learning otherwise. here's to everyone who managed to escape and to everyone trying to escape a hateful reality.

#related to last reblog #i wasn't raised in a cult or anything so i do worry if i come off out of place #my personal experience is being raised by my parents who didn't know any better #got so many mental disorders from them ugh #i'm really glad i never internalized their younameitphobias #only thing i internalized when younger was Everything Wrong With Me and i would just hate myself so hard #anytime i did something good i expected disapprovement as the only kind of 'thoughtful comment' i could get #i really truly like how op was sharing their thoughts on recovery #i can't violently tear my own issues down because it doesn't translate perfectly but the visualizing thing is so powerful #i eventually visualized myself standing in as a friend maybe to my younger self #like. hey. it's actually kind of messed up that my mom would insult my drawings and think i could improve off that. #it's not a perfect drawing but you got the experience! we have a whole piece of art we can admire! the mistakes are charming! #ANYWAYS always super sympathic/empathic to people trying to get better it's so hard and you're so strong for getting this far #Joey says stuff

[generalsmemories]

To raise a child

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader ft. yanqing (platonic)

✧ based on the asks: 3 requests asking for a family fic with jing yuan and yanqing

✧ synopsis: raising a child is always hard, even when you're a long life species with a lot of experiences.

✧ contents: established relationship, fluff, found family trope (a.k.a my one weakness with every media), yanqing & reader have a slight rocky start, mentions of other characters, sentences in italics are readers thoughts.

✧ a/n: i'm not gonna chuck angst into a found family trope unless i feel particulary miserable, they just gonna have a good ole time being parents to a yanqing from when he was a wee babie to the lieutenant he is today - also a lot of this is my own interpretation SINCE I DON'T GET A CRUMB ON HOW THE HELL THIS MAN FOUND MY BABY. not beta-ed like usual i'm sorry.

The first time you were told about Yanqing's existence was when you were not onboard Luofu, which honestly made the first meeting between the two of you a lot worse.

"... Pardon, he found what now while I'm away?" you stare bewildreded at the messenger before you while clutching the letter Jing Yuan had written to you - you can practically hear his easy-going voice resound in your head through the words before you.

"What do you mean he suddenly picked up a whole child?!"

Safe to say that the Luofu were turned upside down by the time you came back to the ship. Rumours spread amongst the citizens, gossip between the storytellers and the newsboard retelling the latest news and constantly updating on any new "information" they had gotten.

To say you got stopped at every corner before you even stepped foot back in land was an understatement. You practically had a crowd waiting for you - it was only by the assistance of Yukong that you had managed to worm yourself out of the crowd and hightail home.

Maybe it's because Jing Yuan knew you would come home first, or maybe it's because he was aware that you had a lot of questions for him. Which was why you had gotten a text prior to landing with the single message of:

"Decided to take the day off today <3"

Safe to say he was left on read.

"Jing Yuan, what has gotten into you-" are the first words that leaves your mouth when you slam your entrance doors open, only for your eyes to widen when Jing Yuan is already waiting for you at the foyer. Hands behind his back and sporting his signature smile, but your gaze isn't at your lover before you.

Rather it was on the smaller child that was hiding behind his legs, he was by no means scared of your sudden appearance you noticed. Rather, he was sizing you up and down with a fierce gaze, almost like a lion cub who had just found its first prey.

The glare made your previous anger and confusion fade into a more surprised shock, rendering you speechless on how to proceed further. Jing Yuan steps in after seeing your anger dissipate upon seeing the fierce boy, raising a hand to ruffle Yanqing's hair before he directs his gaze back to you who is still staring at Yanqing in mild surprise.

"He's a feisty one isn't he?" is what he utters softly, and it's the slight exhaustion in his voice that causes you to let your guard down and put aside your confusion and need for answers aside.

Right now there's a young child before you, a child that you don't know the lineage of - but a child that Jing Yuan himself had picked up and stood his ground against public opinion for.

And Jing Yuan didn't do things without reason.

But you're well aware that he's also the kind to not tell you much as to why he had done a few decisions. As futile as you know it is, you would still try to get something out of him later. But for now, you would have to try to give a better impression of yourself to this kid who you're pretty sure sees you as anything, but a person with good intentions.

... What do you say to a child that is currently holding animosity towards you?

Seeing your distraught face makes Jing Yuan let out a chuckle, glancing down at Yanqing who is still staring fiercly at you, "They're not someone you should be on guard with. That's my spouse, they're just surprised by your sudden arrival is all, Yanqing."

So his name is Yanqing.

The reassurance from Jing Yuan makes the young boy relax a bit, but you can still tell he's very much on guard against you, "... I'm Yanqing," he mutters quietly.

The two of you seem to have a long way to go from the first encounter.

"... What were you thinking?" you question the moment Jing Yuan slides the door to your bedroom shut, you had spent the majority of the afternoon cleaning up a spare room for Yanqing to sleep in after the meeting while the two had headed out to prepare the paperwork for Yanqing to be offcially be recgonized as a Cloud Knight.

"... I saw potential?" he tries, but with one glance at your direction and being faced with your quirked eyebrow makes him let out a sigh instead, reaching a hand behind his head to pull the red ribbon tying his hair back.

He doesn't say anything as he makes his way over to you. Neither does he utter a word when he lets his entire weight fall on top of your own, the noise of surprise you let out making him chuckle, rubbing his face onto neck, "W-Wait, hold on. There's a literal child in this house now, what are you-"

"Dear, what are you thinking?" Jing Yuan snorts before you finish your sentence, wrapping his arms around your waist before flipping himself over so that you're laying on top of him, "Our schedule clashed together too much that it's been 2 years since I last saw you? And when I meet you again you looked like you were going to pull my head off of my own body, this is quite frankly the first instance where I get you all to myself," he explains, raising an eyebrow at your gradually reddening face, "Whatever you were imagining is beyond me, darling."

"... Shut up and tell me the truth already," you murmur before burying your face in his chest, lifting a closed fist to lightly hit his arm when you feel his chest rumble with his constrained laughter.

"I didn't lie when I said I saw potential. Despite his young age, Yanqing is quite gifted with the sword," he starts after a brief silence, fingers drumming along the spine of your back, "But it would be more accurate to say I'm preparing the future generation?" he muses out loud, sounding unsure himself which makes let out a chuckle, "Wow, I'm sure lady Fu Xuan would be delighted by the news of your possible retirement."

"I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint our Master Diviner for another few decades unfortunately. She's still far too young to take up the mantle of the general."

You hum, raising your head up from his chest to make eye contact, Jing Yuan directing his gaze from staring up at the ceiling to instead stare at you as well, "Next time you're thinking of picking up a kid, give me a heads up? Or else you're going to end up on the news again like today with the headlines of you committing infidelity."

He laughs, hoisting you further up his body to peck your lips, "Please, I won't be picking up another child anytime soon. But maybe I need to show the citizens that I only have eyes for one person if they were swayed this easily by the apperance of one child."

"... Please don't say something that embarassing in front of Yanqing."

"See, you're already being a great parental figure."

Great parental figure my ass.

Is what's currently running through your mind as you're once again, left alone with Jing Yuan's prodigal apprentince. it's been a few months after Yanqing's first arrival, and the relationship between the two of you seem to still be threading on thin ice.

Your relationship with the young prodigy hasn't gotten worse, but it has in no way improved either. Whenever Jing Yuan is not present amongst the three of you, Yanqing becomes extra reserved and takes extra caution to not bother you - which makes any attempt to even talk to him 10 times harder than it has to be.

Yanqing is out in the garden, brushing the fallen leaves into a neat pile while you're sitting by the living room table doing paperwork. And yet, ever since Jing Yuan had stepped out for some urgent business, the two of you haven't even spoken a single word to each other.

Yanqing was at an age where you didn't need to give him constant attention, but with the way you two had started on the wrong foot it felt a lot harder trying to get closer to him - mostly because the boy himself tries to not be a burden on you, which in a way has become a burden.

Not to mention, Jing Yuan spends the most time with him training him personally - so the time you spend with Yanqing is close to nothing compared to your lover.

The odds are truly against you at the moment.

At this point, the new paper scroll that you had rolled out were becoming useless with how long you had pressed the ink filled brush on it's surface, the gradual circle of ink stained paper growing with each passing minute.

Topics you can talk about.. Jing Yuan mentioned he was great with a sword, but it's been ages since I've held a sword myself till the point he's probably better than me...

Were you always this awkward with children?

Glancing at the clock, you notice it's almost time for your meetup with master Gongshu over at the Artisanship Commission. So with a reluctant sigh, you glance down at the paper scroll before you - that has long been ruined before you put the brush away and roll the scroll back up.

"... Yanqing I'm about to head to out to the Artisanship Commission, can you..." your voice dies down when you see the boy whip his head around the moment you mention the Commission. And although he tries to hide it, you would be a fool to not notice the sparkle in his eyes at the mention of where you are going.

"... Do you want to join?" you end up asking instead.

You've never seen his facial expression change so much in just a few seconds. First you could tell he wanted to agree, but then you're pretty sure he managed to figure out why you were going and didn't want to be a burden, but still wanted to go. You soon saw hope come back to his eyes, presumably remembering that you personally asked, but you saw the same hope dwindle down when he probably thought that you asked just to include him.

The sight made you laugh, "... A child is a child after all, no matter where they are," you whisper quietly to yourself, "You won't be a bother, Yanqing. And wouldn't it be better for you to look around the Luofu a bit? I'm pretty sure Jing Yuan has only brought you to the Cloud Knights training area after all, we can even stop by Cloudbreath Sleeves to take your measurements so that you can get some tailor-made clothes and not Jing Yuan's old clothes."

That seemed to be the only reassurance he needed.

You're pretty sure Yanqing hasn't noticed that your meeting with master Gongshu ended 15 minutes ago. Neither has he seemed to realize that the two of you have spent the next 15 minutes just observing his every reaction to the swords on display.

His eyes seemed particulary glued to an iridescent blue sword with a black handle, master Gongzhu giving a low whistle beside you, "He's got a good eye."

You roll your eyes, "Send me the invoice later," you reply back before stepping towards the awestruck boy, "Why not bring it home with us?" you ask, Yanqing jumping slightly in surprise, his head turning around with widened eyes, "I can't possibly ask that of you, I can just save up-"

"You're staring at it like it's your first love, Yanqing," you chuckle, reaching out to grab the handle, twirling it around before reaching for the scabbard right underneath where it was displayed - sliding the sword inside.

"Consider it a gift, for future endeavours."

He blinks, taking the scabbard from your hands, staring at the intricate design weaved into the metal - and you notice the faint tears forming at the corners of his eyes before the boy leaps into your arms to give you a hug, "I swear I'll treasure it, thank you!"

Perhaps too shocked by the sudden hug, you fail to realize that master Gongshu had quickly snapped a picture of the scene and sending it to a certain general.

Qingzu had to stop the very same general from storming away from the Divine of Foresight to head to the Artisanship Commission the very next minute.

"... Well the two of you seem to have gotten a lot closer these past few months," Jing Yuan comments the moment he noticed the position you were currently in. You merely glared halfheartedly at him, but Jing Yuan made no effort to help you - instead walking over to bend down to peck your forehead, careful to not wake the child asleep on top of you.

"I told him to head home before me since I still had affairs to tend to, didn't think he would immediately collapse on top of you and doze off," Jing Yuan remarks with a laugh.

You had one hand supporting Yanqing weight on top of you so that he doesn't topple over, so you decide to use your other hand to reach over and flick Jing Yuan on the forhead - a flick he moved away from with a smirk, "He just dozed off mid-talk too. He was talking about your recent spar match before he just fell asleep," you say, "And to think he vehemently denied not needing a nap after a training session because he's not a child."

Jing Yuan lets out another laugh at that, effortlessly wrangling Yanqing away from your hold and hoisting him up in his arms without manaing to wake him up, "Well if you treat him like an adult, he'll show the temperament of a child as well."

"You should try to get some rest as well, dear. We can just order something from Aurum Alley later," Jing Yuan suggests, to which you merely nod to, standing up to stretch your limbs, "Join me then, I'm sure our dozing general is quite tired too."

"My, what an alluring offer. Can I assume that there's something more-"

"Don't push your luck."

here's the 3 requests that wanted a family fic - i actually struggled a bit with how to do this, but alas - i just know future me will conjure something up again so have this as a teaser HAHA

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr x reader #hsr x you #star rail x reader #star rail imagines #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #x reader #reader insert

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry to ask this. I was going through a blog when I saw a callout post. I checked it out of curiosity. One of the things that was pointed out was : "when they were 31, they had sex with a 18 year old -they are a teenager!- and it's predatory! I (the writer of the callout) am 21 years old and even I don't have sex with 18 year olds because they are very young and it's very predatory!"

So, idk how to feel about that? Especially as someone who has never been in a relationship. I'm 20 years old, soon I'll be 21. Looking at myself at 18 and the future 21, I really didn't change that much? Physically or mentally. Yeah 18 is young but so is 21?? I don't think it's predatory, am I wrong?/serious question

And for the first part, yeah a 31 year old being with a 18 is weird for me, but aren't they both adults? They also said it's because 18 year olds lack experience, which can be true but that's assuming they have never been in a relationship before(with people their own age or similar). So, it can be weird but predatory? Is it?/serious question

I'm sorry if the questions are upsetting &/or weird but I really don't have anyone else to ask- parents are out of question, they literally think you should teach people about sex right before marriage- and I don't trust most online spaces. There's also zero books about such things in my country because "protect the children!!". So now we have an adult(me) who was raised to never ask question about these things and now is confused as hell. Hmm.....

--

It's all hogwash.

On average, I would assume that a 31-year-old having sex with an 18-year-old is a bit of a creep. However, it would depend entirely on the circumstances. Is this 18-year-old a naive high school student? Or are they someone who's been working a job for several years? Maybe the older person is their coworker whom they got to know.

A 21-year-old and an 18-year-old can be weird in the US if they only just met and one is a high school student while the other is a university student. But what if they met in some very different context where they're more in the same stage of life? Sure, I side-eye upperclassmen who start dating freshmen the first week of their freshman year, but what about later on in the year? What if both of these people aren't students at all and are, again, working a job together?

"You're mature for your age" is a line that creepers feed to younger people, but it can also be true. Some people just get along better with older partners.

We shouldn't be too draconian about any specific rule. You can only judge by the real circumstances of a specific set of people.

Predators are defined by their behavior, not ticky-box demographics. There is no absolute that lets you detect them and protect yourself. People wish there were because they would feel safer. That's what this kind of post is about.

[kurain-genealogy]

i said i was gonna post about it and i am. i don't think william afton hates his kids. i don't think william afton is a mad scientist that kidnapped and put children in hallucinogenic gas chambers. whatever the fuck dittophobia said about afton doing all that, plus not stopping/furthering the bullying between michael and cc, is just dumb & wrong. william wanting his kids to fight, even die, is comically evil in the "bad writing" way. him being characterized as someone who experiments on children (including his own with no regard for their lives) in order to achieve immortality or whatever his supposed motivation is, is just really... nothing? as a character there is nothing to make him feel real. in an attempt to flesh out this character, they made him into a cartoon villain with "evil" being his only defining trait. whatever, i could talk for so long about how dumb i think all the dittophobia stuff is but i think most ppl on tumblr are on the same page regarding that.

to me, william afton is best characterized as someone who, at the Very Least, Doesn't Want His Own Children To Die. he can be a shitty father all around, or he can be a genuine loving father who is also a serial killer, as long as he Cares if they Die? most of what makes william afton an interesting villain, and where a lot of people interpret his motivation comes from, is how despite all his best efforts, he cannot prevent the death or downfall of his own family. he is in a tragedy of his own making, a self-imposed hell crafted by his hubris and violence. if you take this away, why should i care what happens to him? william afton was scariest when he was just purple guy and we knew nothing. william afton is most interesting when we have all these relationships and dynamics where we can seriously study and speculate the circumstances behind/around his actions, when he has something to lose (and will lose). william afton is most stale when more things are added to his story without purpose, filling in gaps that were better unfilled or we didn't even know were there – anything after UCN, basically. bro isn't scary anymore because he's either peepaw afton who's brought back despite his story being over, or he's cartoon network's newest over-the-top villian that you can't take seriously.

okay anyway. ANYWAY. william doesn't hate his kids. even if he's a shitty father, i think he still loves his kids. why else would he try and scare his kids away from the robots if he didn't want them to die? why would he design circus baby after his daughter if he didn't care for her, adore her, even? if you believe the theory that he talked to cc through the fredbear plush (idr if that's actually canon), why would he be trying to protect/comfort him?

i don't think he's a perfect, or even a good father, by any means. if you interpret him to be on the better side, that's great and fine. i'd love to hear how other people interpret/characterize afton if you wanna share! continuing on for this post, i'm going to lay out how i personally see william afton.

to me, he is someone who is very concerned and preoccupied with his image and how others view him & his family. even if he's super shitty and awful towards his kids, he at least cares that they all look good as a family unit, that they're well behaved, that he can send family portrait holiday cards to all his business partners and investors.

he strikes me very much as the typical authoritarian parent of the 80s. harsher on his sons because "men don't cry," wants his kids to say "yes, sir," and "no, sir," believes in "tough love," often says "my house, my rules," he has the final say in everything, maybe thinks hitting them from time to time is a normal, necessary punishment. not all entirely malicious, but thinks he's doing what's best, what's right, acting like a parent and father Should act, perhaps how he himself was raised. unfortunately, a very common parental mindset (even outside of serial killers). maybe he was a little scarier sometimes though, a little more unhinged or violently angry. who's to say.

but he's still just a guy who could exist in real life. he still eats dinner with his family every night, hangs his kids' drawings on the fridge, had to turn the car around because they wouldn't stop fighting in the backseat, attended awkward parent-teacher conferences, everything. he was once a new father who happily came home with his first newborn, lost countless nights of sleep over the course of two more, loves them because they're his.

meticulously and senselessly killed children, then came home and tucked his own into bed and kissed them goodnight.

he can be abusive and still love his kids. he can be a murderer and still care for his own kids' lives. maybe the loss of his own kids is what triggered his actions, or maybe it was something else. i'm fine with not knowing because we don't need to know everything, and it's more interesting when we don't.

Something Is Seriously Wrong With This Guy And We Don't Know What or Why. when acquaintances find out he's a suspected murderer, it should be shocking and upsetting. he's such a great man and father, he wouldn't murder those kids! when michael discovers his father's crimes, he should be in denial. sure, he could be scary sometimes, but he wouldn't kill anyone... right? there's a great cognitive dissonance between who he appears to be and who he actually is.

whether william descended into grief-induced madness and obsession, or was just always some kind of freak, or both, i don't think he saw his own family as disposable. even if he didn't truly love them, he at least needed to keep up his own facade as a friendly family man. personally i like to see him as someone who was a shitty father but still loved his kids, because people like that exist, and it makes him a much more interesting, realistic, and nuanced character than if he just didn't care about them At All.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #william afton #purple guy #dontlistento me #sorry if this is so incoherent or all over the place or rambly. im insane. #fuck it im posting

[emo-trash101]

Hello hello my darling!! (/P)

How are you,good? I hope you are!

I was scrolling through for some hazbin-writing blogs and saw that you were,but didn't have any works yet!

"preposterous!" I told myself! "Such a charming blog without any writing? Allow me!"

And here I am! Nina or Weewoo,you may call me!

Now that my big flamboyant intro is done (i do this all the time for my fun,don't mind it-),May you indulge me in some nice platonic headcanons? (If you do those! If not,a single oneshot would be swell!!)

You see,the self-proclaimed platonic asker is thirsty for some platonic!

Anyways,you're probably getting bored,so allow me!

May I please have a platonic! Vox/Husk/Alastor/Lucifer/ anyone you wish to write for (I honestly don't mind anyone,just pick peoplef from Hazbin you feel you want to write for! You can put as many as you want!) with a gn!child!reader (my favorite/p) that's really sweet (even a bit of a pushover) but has a really bad argument with their parent (the characters) for x reason (maybe because the child is too kind?) and runs away for some air,but later,as the characters were looking for them because they're worried or we're forced to (ahem,Vox and Alastor,AHEM) the character finds them all injured and crying somewhere because it's hell and there are bad people there? How would the characters react? Would they do something?

I think that's all for me!

I hope you enjoy writing this dearie! Don't forget to drink,eat and have rest!

Stay proud darling!

-Nina <33

Omg, I really hope you end up enjoying this! I actually really like this idea, and I live for platonic relationships. Also! Feel free to request whenever, I really need something to do with my life 😭

Vox, Husk, Alastor and Lucifer x Child! Reader

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC AND SHOULD ONLY BE TAKEN AS SUCH

Pronouns: Second person, gender neutral

Tw: Arguing, Vox and Alastor (Yes they are warnings), general Hazbin Hotel-ness

Vox -

- In all honesty, I'm so sorry you ended up with this man 😭

- But (as many of us know) he is not a nice person, if anything he's more so the opposite. He would probably take away your toys just to see you cry.

- However, he is very good at faking it, which makes him a very confusing person to be around.

- The argument most likely starts because you end up being too sweet and it ends up pissing him off. He'd probably try to be passive aggressive or ignore it until it makes him so mad he just yells.

- He seems like the kind of guy to be like "Well thats how I was raised." And just see nothing wrong with it. But after seeing you be so upset after the argument, a small part of his almost nonexistent humanity feels bad.

- Considering how busy he is, he probably wouldn't notice you were missing for a good while. Even after he does, he doesn't go after you himself, he sends one of his workers to get you.

- Once he does find you injured, he's undoubtedly mad. Not exactly because he cares too much for your wellbeing, but because he considers you a pet of some sort, and people should know better than to hurt his pet.

- Doesn't really learn much from the experience, however does avoid bringing up the topic of you being too kind simply because another argument like that could provide similar outcomes

- In all, probably the worst of them all generally. (Can you tell who my least favorite is?)

Husk -

- Honestly, he's not that bad of a caretaker, and it's primarily because he has strong morals and tries to teach you that as well.

- However, because of that, he views your kindness as a kind of weakness that needs to be fixed. Which is almost exactly what he tries to do.

- He attempts several times to make you "stronger" and less kind to protect you. He obviously has good intentions but goes the wrong way about it.

- This obviously results in an argument where he refuses to admit that he was incorrect which leads you to try and chill yourself out by going on a walk. He would probably be too heated to even really care about you walking out. That is until later.

- After you eventually don't come back for awhile he does become anxious, but he knows that he taught you to take care of yourself and that you'll be fine.

- Once you do come back he feels hella guilty, nit only for letting you walk away, but arguing with you in general. He resorts to trying to help clean your wounds and provide you with the best comfort he can (which honestly is not a lot but it's the thought that counts)

- He does let up on you having to be less nice, it does get brought up ever so often, but after a few minutes he just lets it go.

Alastor -

- This man is a little special brained, as in he is extremely apathetic to the point where he doesn't comprehend you being kind aside from it being for ulterior motives.

- Which honestly makes sense if you think about how he acts, so it's not like it's a baseless accusation. But after he's taken you under his wing and is trying to teach you he feels almost undermined by you constantly being kind.

- This obviously turns into an argument (more like you being defensive and him just accusing), and you eventually give up and go on a walk.

- He considers this an admission of guilt and doesn't go after you or anything and just lets you do your own thing until you apologize to him.

- When you do eventually show back up to the hotel, he does tend to your wounds, but he approaches you with condescension until you eventually apologize purely out of exhaustion.

- He doesn't really feel any guilt towards it, and will definitely ice you out until you stop being so "manipulative".

Lucifer -

- Now Lucifer himself is at least a people pleaser, so he understands the feeling and actions that you do take.

- However, having seen his daughter take similar strides that he had in the sense of caring for others, he ends up worrying about you being used for others benefit, especially in a place like hell.

- This kinda causes him to try and course correct aggressively, deciding that if he were to act more cold it would rub off on you and work (surprise surprise, it didn't).

- It just turns into you getting upset and while trying to have a serious conversation about the issues (or as serious a discussion that a child can have), he tries to keep up the cold facade.

- This just upsets you more and you end up going on a walk to clear your mind, and that makes him feel terrible.

- He contemplates running after you but decides that it's for the best, it could even help you with being so kind.

- Well that whole thought process changes once you don't come back for too long. He almost turns the entirety of hell upside down just to find you.

- He finds you just as your assaulters are leaving, and let's just say they don't leave in one singular piece.

- After that the guilt almost eats him alive. He feels terrible for not only letting this happen to you, but that he also caused this whole mess. He takes you back to your home and helps clean your wounds (He 100% uses hello kitty bandages).

- He tries reaching out to other people to try and find better ways to teach you more about boundaries and everything just to keep you safe, and takes almost all the advice to heart.

This took less time than I anticipated, but I feel like it turned out good nonetheless. I hope you enjoyed it and have an astounding day!

#vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #PLEASE LIKE THIS OMG

[archiveikemen]

『 Dark If 』 Story Event: Chapter 1

Jude Jazza

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Prologue

-

Victor: May you have a happy ending, Miss Kate. — Into the twisted fairytale world you go.

…

I woke up in a bedroom inside a lavish palace.

(Erm… right, I’m the “Princess” of this country.)

(... Huh? Why do I know that?)

Memories of being raised as a Princess of this country slowly came to mind.

(It seems that I have two sets of memories. One from my original world, and one from this world.)

But there was a strange feeling of certainty that both of them belonged to “me”.

King: … Are you awake, Kate?

Kate: Good morning, Father.

After knocking on my door , my father entered my bedroom wearing a worried expression.

King: Knowing that the wicked fairy’s prophecy is only a few months away… I can’t be at peace without personally confirming your safety every morning.

I was born as the Princess of this country, and spent my life living a sheltered life in confinement within the palace.

The reason for that was that… I was cursed.

The wicked fairy who placed the curse on me said, “10 years from now, the curse will take effect when she pricks her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel”.

— That fairy apparently returned to a castle hidden deep in the woods after making that prophecy.

My parents gathered every spinning wheel in the country and destroyed them. Everyone working in the textile industry was made to work in factories, and I wasn't allowed anywhere near them.

(But… neither my father nor my mother knew why I was cursed.)

Kate: Why doesn't anyone know the reason why I was cursed…?

King: … That night, you had a quarrel with me and ran away from the palace. You then lost your consciousness and collapsed in an alley.

King: By the time you were brought back to the palace and seen by the royal doctor, you were already cursed.

King: At that time, the wicked fairy who was with you admitted to cursing you…!

(Ah… so that’s what happened. But I have no memories of the events that led to me collapsing in the alley.)

(I should have seen that person back then… why can’t I recall anything?)

Perhaps it was due to my vivid memories of living in this world, or that I came into this world from England; but I found it hard to comprehend.)

(Oh well, there’s no point in thinking about that now.)

Kate: If the curse takes effect, I’ll fall into a deep slumber for 100 years… right?

I muttered based on my memories, and my father nodded with tearful eyes.

(A cursed spindle… the world I’m in is definitely that of the story “Sleeping Beauty”.)

(If we go along with the original plot, it’d probably be better to fall into a deep sleep because of the curse, but…)

The man who introduced himself as Victor said that there was “something missing” in this twisted fairytale world.

If I fall asleep before I find what’s missing — I won’t be able to look for it for the next 100 years.

(First things first, I need to break this curse to give myself more time to find it!)

Kate: I’m going to try asking that fairy to lift the curse.

King: W-WHAT!? You absolutely cannot do that!!

Kate: I’ll be fine with a few guards to escort me.

King: Even the royal guards fear him! I’ve sent people to assassinate him several times, and all of them returned in terrible states…!

Kate: In that case, I’ll go alone. With my experience as a postwoman, I can smell danger when it approaches.

King: Postwoman? H-Hey, wait—!

…

Leaving my panicking father in the castle, I came to an old castle hidden deep in the mountains.

(Come to think of it… the me in this world has never tried doing it this way before.)

(I was always sheltered and protected by my father.)

(For some reason… I never found the curse itself frightening.)

Strangely, I didn't think that sleeping for 100 years was a bad thing, and I never desperately tried to break the curse.

(I wonder why—)

…

(Is this… the place…?)

The castle was shrouded in thorny vines and had no gatekeeper, there were no signs of anyone’s presence.

Suppressing the feeling of fear that had risen due to the atmosphere of a villain’s stronghold, I cautiously poked my head inside and looked around.

Kate: P-Pardon me. I’m… not here to deliver mail. I’m here to have my curse lifted—...

Tall Young Man: … Good evening.

Kate: AAAAH!?

Tall Young Man: Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you… are you alright?

Ellis (The Thorn): I’m Ellis, the assistant to the master of this castle.

Ellis: I was ordered to deter all visitors, like the thorns of the vines outside.

(I went through the trouble of coming all the way to this place, no way I’m letting myself be turned away so easily…)

Kate: I’m Kate. I came all this way to meet the master of this castle.

Ellis: Hmm… okay.

Kate: Huh!? Is it really okay!?

Ellis: Mm-hmm. Because you came all the way here and that’ll make you happy.

(He says it’s okay… I’m kind of concerned about the security of this castle…)

Ellis: Oh, but he hates having uninvited guests over. Be careful.

…

Ellis: Jude, you have a guest.

Jude (The Fairy): Tch… I told you to turn away all uninvited guests. How many times do I have to repeat myself?

Jude: Make them leave, even if you have to hurt them—

Jude: —...!

The man addressed as “Jude” had a sinister look in his eyes. He looked up from the book he was reading, and his eyes widened the moment he saw me.

Jude: You…

(He knows who I am…? That means he’s the one.)

Kate: You’re the one who cursed me, aren't you?

Kate: I apologise for the sudden intrusion, but I’m here to speak to you in regards to lifting the curse.

Jude: … Ah?

Jude’s face contorted in response to my words.

The blatant expression of displeasure made me flinch, but I wasn’t about to back down.

Kate: If you won't lift the curse, then extend the timeframe at the very least!

Kate: You can curse me again once I’ve found what I’m looking for.

Jude: …

Kate: I’ll do anything for you to even just give me more time.

Jude: … Anything, you say?

Jude: Since you say that, I’ll make you work here as a servant.

(S-Servant…!?)

His cold smile sent a chill down my spine.

Jude stood up from the sofa and walked up to me, making my entire body stiffen in anxiousness.

Jude: Just so happens that I was planning to prick you myself with a spindle on your next birthday.

Jude: This saves me the trouble of going out to find you.

Kate: … [scared]

Sensing danger as he reached his hand towards me, I instinctively backed away; only to realise that Ellis was standing right behind me, leaving me no way to escape.

Kate: My father will most definitely not stay quiet about this…!

Jude: Hah, it doesn't matter how many useless soldiers that useless King sends. I’ll torture all of them to their deaths.

Kate: …!?

His long fingers wrapped around my neck; he pulled out a collar from who knows where and put it on me.

Jude: Now I can blow your head off whenever I want.

Jude: From the moment you came here, it was already too late, Princess.

Jude: You won’t be returning to the castle. You’ll stay here and obediently suffer from your curse.

(I—)

(This might’ve been the wrong decision.)

There was no use in regretting my decision, and so I remained captive in his castle for several days—.

As much as I didn’t want it to, life in this castle eventually felt ordinary.

…

— Clang!

Kate: Again…!?

Ellis: Yeah. Sorry, Kate.

Jude: A freeloading servant has no right to complain.

Someone who had a grudge against Jude showed up at the castle — this was no new occurrence for Jude and Ellis.

(Even though they would be struck by lightning, blown away, or killed instantly with just a single glance from Jude…)

Fallen Man: Ugh…

Jude: Why so quiet? What happened to all that audacity you had when you barged in?

Not a single day went by in this castle without a blood bath.

And as the “servant”, it was my job to clean up after them — that wasn't something I chose for myself, but I was always told to stay in my room.

Kate: I’ve been wondering… why do so many people have something against you?

Ellis: As a fairy, Jude naturally becomes a target for assassins.

Jude: You’re the Princess of this country, and yet you don’t even know that. Your life must've been truly sheltered.

Jude scoffed.

Kate: Don’t you think it could also be because of your personality? You treat people harshly, giving them a hard time.

Jude: You have some nerve, lecturing your master.

Jude: I’m always free to punish you if that’s what you want, though?

Jude hooked his finger under the collar around my neck and pulled me closer to him.

Looking into those sadistic amethyst eyes from such a close distance made me strangely uneasy, like I couldn't maintain my composure.

Kate: … N-No, thank you!

I smacked his hand away and headed straight back to my room.

(I need to stand up to that man and make him extend the curse.)

More than that — it was infuriating to constantly be looked down on by him.

…

This castle had a huge collection of books.

During the day, Jude would get involved in violent fights, and somehow get his hands on all sorts of books and materials through making deals with shady merchants.

At night, Jude would shut himself in his study.

Kate: Just what on earth does Jude always do in his study?

Ellis: I don’t know the exact details, because even I’m not allowed to go in there… but I do know that he’s researching something to fulfil a promise he made a long time ago.

Kate: I see… so you’re not allowed in his study, huh.

Ellis: Yeah. But he didn't specifically say that you’re not allowed in there, so I think it’s okay if you do as you please.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #otome #cybird otome #ikevil story event #jude jazza

[swords-of-a-soilder]

My QSMP Headcannons vs in game Canon

Feel free to correct me if I get the Canon wrong.

•Tallulah uses hearing aids-this one is actually cannon but people tend to leave it out in art.

•philza uses a walking cane after purgatory- while Phil stated multiple times that the condition of his wings gave him poor balance, even though his wings are somewhat better I imagine the constant back and forth for someone who was never really good a balancing paired with the weight of his new wings probably make it very difficult to stay balance while walking.

•Fit, Tubbo lost limbs in purgatory- correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Tubbo didn't lose a lib in Canon, and I'm also not sure if the texture of Fit new skin is meant to be read as a prosthetic but I like the idea.

•Richardslyson has a prosthetic leg- this isn't excalty clear whether or not it's canon, we know his model in game has a leg that doesn't connected to his shell but it also important to note that Phil adjusted Richards statue to reflect a prosthetic leg, so you could technically consider it canon.

•Phil is demi-romantic- I know Phil never gave a clear sexual orientation to his in game character, but watching them interact with other love interest he gives the vibe of a demi-romantic person.

•Fit and Phil are divorced on really good terms- the kind were you realize your better as friends, which would also play a part in Phil discovering his is demi-romantic. Obviously in canon they was no clear past relationships established between them.

•Bolas actually does see Phil as a father figured- obviously Cellbit calmed he was joking when he called Phil dad, however Baghera still seems to call him that. I also really just want Cellbit to have a good father figure lmao.

•Rose is Phil's mother- I could go into detail of how the goddess of life birth the angle of death, but I equate it to her being his mother as God is your father but like she's his mother directly. She made him, she raised him, she'll protect him like her like depends on it.

In canon Rose just seems to be the Spawn entity but I like to imagine her as his Spawn entity. That would mean that she spawned him into existence in the hardcore world.

•the federation isn't evil, just misunderstood- I'm not saying they are good, just more morally grey. They do horrible experiment and treat the residents curly in our eyes, but in their eyes this is normal.

They do things thinking the residents don't know any better and therefore their complains are invalid, quite like a narcissist parent.

•the eggs can shape shift- I love the idea of the eggs taking on physical traits of the person (s) that they feel loved by slowly the more fond they become of them.

So the original Chayanne would stay an egg for the first two days then shock his parents by appearing as a little boy with blond hair.

When badly injured they go back to egg form.

•Charlie is in fact part slime and that's how he shape shifted into gegg- technically the qsmp info channel confirmed this in the qsmp full story videos

•Jaiden was a part of project blue bird- again not confirm, but I really like the idea that she was raised by Cucuchroo and that's why she naturally acts kinder to him (but she doesn't remember)

•the island has a respawn entity- following the concept of Rose aiding Phil's spawn, I like to imagine the whole island has a entity that revives players after death, and thus respawning in other demension ie the nether, takes much longer as that a different entity all together.

•the radiation of the blast from purgatory turned Foolish into a shark human hybrid, I mean technically canon since has the speed fins now.

•Forever has a survivor complex- this is up to interpretation of whether or not it's canon but I perceive Forever's behaviour as someone who feels he had to save everyone; He is the president after all.

•Forever likely still has feelings for Phil- or better yet the feelings have developed into genuine love as opposed to obsession, but from observing Missa learnt the best way to love Phil is to respect his wishes.

•Lovejoy is canon in the qsmp and is sponsored by the federation hence why Wilbur often leaves for tours. I'm actually not sure if this is canon or not, I recall Phil joking about it but I don't know if that's the Canon explanation as to how he's allowed to leave the island.

•Missa like Wilbur is sent on sponsored trips by the federation; in which he gather information on other islands, the resources of said island and whether or not their populated

•The codes are corrupted dead eggs- I'm mostly getting this theory from the codes disguising themselves as eggs and codaflipa, but I really like the idea that the codes are eggs that have died in the past with past residents and are restless.

A good backing for this is how Sofia found the eggs to be non organic, which makes me think that in a way they are computer programming, an sentient artificial life.

That does however bring the lore question of how their ghost can return, I think codes are a store of ghost form for them, with the code of their existence being shattered after a while they degraded to code monsters.

This would explain why they kill eggs (they want more company) and how they're able to disguised as them. Codaflipa can only return a few times because it's difficult to keep that form with shattered codes.

Now it is hinted at that the eggs are artificial, Sofia and the details of A1 being hints at that, but there is no Canon confirmation of such to my knowledge

I also know that Etoiles seem to believe the code killed eggs because they were being controlled by the federation, but I don't believe that seeing as the federation went out of their way to get the eggs back.

#that's all i got #share your own in the comments #qsmp #qsmpblr #q!philza #q! fit #q! tubbo #q! forever #hcs4 rose #q!missa #q!jaiden #q!charlie #q!cellbit #q!chayanne #q!tallulah #q! Richardslyson

[erosuguru]

Hello! Hope you are doing good :)

Can I request a reader who is stronger than Gojo? Gojo had a crush on her for years, but she only sees him as a friend, one time when she is staying in his room with him, she would confess that she has a girlfriend.

Can it please be angsty :')?

I'm doing good thanks! Watched oppenheimer today, it melted my brain a little but it was great

THIS IS IMPORTANT THO: For the sake of reader's sexuality being ambiguous I did keep their partner's gender unknown, I feel like specification would ruin it sjdksjdj I hope it won't bother you

Satoru gojo x reader, angst, reader is stronger than gojo, gojo is very irrational and angry here, gojo has a back + leg injury here, reader is already in a relationship, brief Satosugu banter, Shoko cameo, very little proof reading approx 2.2k? words

The strongest have responsibilities, any ideology any person holds always places responsibilities on the strongest. Be it to protect the weak, further the world, anything of the sort– the strongest bare the burden. Satoru knew this better than anyone, he was raised to believe he was the strongest in the world of Jujutsu– his parents, friends, teachers, everyone agreed he needed to accept the fact that he was strong.

He just didn't know he would be humbled so quickly by stronger acquaintances. He thought he would be dead by the time someone as strong or stronger than him appeared, yet here you were. Satoru was improving bit by bit through his experiences in Jujutsu Tech, but you? You were practicallt sprinting to the finish line as everyone's fastest paces looked like light jogs next to you. Any time you were praised for your quick ability to adapt and improve your technique, you would downsize your power– it infuriated him.

The day Satoru realised you were stronger was during close combat training, it was when Suguru was still around– he was smart enough to back off when you invited him for a sparring session, this piqued Satoru's interest, how strong were you for Suguru Geto to back away from a physical fight? He was probably the best fighter when it came to close combat.

A loud "I'll take you on!" Brought both your and Suguru's attention to Satoru as he removed his uniform's jacket, throwing it aside and approaching you on the mat. "... Have we met before?" You asked.

"Only one of the two strongest sorcerer's in this dump, Satoru Gojo" He quickly introduced himself, cracking his knuckles and twisting his neck left and right getting all of the kinks out of his bones before standing infront of you. Suguru only grinned as he patted his friend's shoulder once. "Then, I'll be the referee, sound fair?"

"Nice, Suguru! Sneak in some points for me, 'kay?" Suguru scoffed. "I'm not keeping track of that."

"You two seem quite close," you pointed out, smiling at the natural banter between the two, you introduced yourself quickly and after getting the formalities out the way, you took your respective spots; you and Satoru facing each other as Suguru stood in the middle.

"Ready? And..." Suguru began, the two opponents taking a prepared stance. The curse manipulator waited a beat (both to build up anticipation and to mess with his best friend). Then...

"Start!"

Satoru had evaded once blow from you then tried to land another, not even two moves after that he was pinned to the ground with his arm twisted behind his back, that was the first time he tasted defeat. His embarrassed reddened face was more clear now that his glasses had slipped off of his face when he was so confident he didn't even need to take them off, Suguru kneeled down next to you and hummed "oh, did I mention that she's pretty much the strongest around here? Oopsie~"

"Quit laughing and help me up!" After you allowed Suguru to take a commemorative photo, you helped him up, and he dusted himself off as the tips of his ears turned pink. You found this mystery stranger amusing. "Gojo, was it? I think we'll get along fine!"

Satoru didn't know why but his heart skipped a beat, at that moment he thought he has some kind of attraction towards those who are stronger than him (which were a scarce few), but that theory would be debunked as he simply realised it was only love at first sight.

"You kidding me? After that beat down, just call me Satoru!"

You in fact, did not call him Satoru after that, but you eventually came around after multiple instances of either saving him, guiding him, giving advice and if he tried hard enough you would give him small glimpses of your vulnerable side (it was only fair, he was always vulnerable with you!), yet the closer he wanted to be with you, the farther away you seemed; it worsened after Suguru left. The stage of the strongest sorcerers dwindled.

he watched as he hobbled away from the scene on Shoko's shoulder, you made it just in time as Satoru received a blow to his back– the curse's level proved too high for him to handle by himself. Everytime Satoru watched you fight or use your technique, he felt his admiration grow for you (not that he would ever admit admiring anyone else), outside of combat he would shoot playful comments to you and you would actually return them– you didn't yell at him like Utahime or roll your eyes like Shoko, you seemed genuinely happy to be talking to him.

The book of mental notes about you in his head gets thicker and thicker with every interaction, Satoru can dissect any aspect about you and explain what he loves about it in detail, what he loves about you.

"Is he okay?" He was brought out of his thoughts when your voice reached his ears. He laid on one of the two beds available in the infirmary, and Shoko greeted you at the door.

"Yeah, it's nothing major– he didn't say a word since he got here, though.." Shoko turned to look at Satoru, an unsettled expression on her features. "He's never gone this long without babbling.."

"Im a traumatised survivor, I'm processing my fear and intense emotions!" Satoru sat up, hissing through the laugh as he joked. He made eye contact with you; his saviour. You simply huffed out a chuckle. "You must be getting stronger if you can joke around after that."

"Not as strong as you." He quickly shot back with a grin, Satoru had long accepted the fact that you were stronger, you had more stamina, more cursed energy, and you had a good head on your shoulders.

"Shoko, you go relax– I'm sure taking care of this baby took a lot out of you." Satoru pouted, Shoko laughed and nodded, patting you once on the shoulder."He's good to go. He just needs bed rest for now, just toss him in his dorm room!"

Satoru didn't know if he wanted to curse out Shoko or thank her, he had your attention to himself now as you helped him limp back to his dorm room– you were so close to him all he could smell was your scent, all he could feel was your hands on him, so secure so he wouldn't fall and yet he hoped you wouldn't feel his pulse quickening.

It was quiet, and for once, Satoru was content with that as long as he was near you. "Satoru? You've been quiet this whole time..." You pointed out casually, your tone concerned as your expression seemed serene, calm even. He grinned at you, tipping his head down to look around you through his scratched shades. "What? you worried about me? Sheesh, take me out on a date while you're at it!"

You laughed almost uncomfortably, although he didn't pick up on it. Reaching his dorm room and letting you in, he flopped down onto his bed and groaned loudly. "Do you need anything else? I'm going to go now." That got him to sit up

"Alrea- ow?!" He hissed as his leg throbbed in pain. You winced and watched him, Satoru looked up at you with an expression akin to angry confusion, but you knew it was mostly his irritation to the pain. "But.. why? C'mon, what's the rush? You can stay with me for a while!" He patted the spot next to him on his bed, grinning at you.

A chime resonated. You took out your phone, and your expression dropped. "I'm sorry, Satoru. I kinda have a date."

"... huh?" He asked you as he tilted his head, genuinely confused. You, in turn, tilted your head back at him. ".. didn't I tell you?"

"Tell me, wha? It's just plans, right? It's not an actual date." Satoru waved off his worry, laying back on his bed and resting his hands behind his head."It's not like we can date anyone. The strongest just can't risk themselves like that!" Which is why he believes you two would be the perfect power couple– He's strong, he'd be fine! He just needed you.

"... Satoru, I am seeing someone." You finally revealed, you watched his reaction intently, it was almost comical; his eyes peeked over the rim of his shades as he tipped his head down once again, staying still for a moment before slowly sitting up until he was in a proper enough sitting position for this conversation.

".. what do you mean?" He asked with a deeper tone. He was clearly shocked– resisting asking the question 'How dare you? How selfish can you be?' You're seeing someone, and it's not him.

You're dating someone, and it's not him.

"I thought you knew," you started. "I really thought Shoko told you -"

"Shoko knows?!" You were silenced quickly by his sudden shouting, you weren't stupid or naive, you suspected Satoru harbored romantic feelings for you but you didn't think he would burst like this; especially to you, his tone was always so sweet and playful to you– sometimes even vulnerable. You were never on the receiving end of his shouting.

You didn't answer, what were you supposed to say? Apologise? You did not owe him an apology for falling in love. You certainly don't owe him an apology for not returning his feelings. Satoru continued. "We can't love like normal people– WE have to stick together!" He almost tripped getting up, gripping your shoulders too tightly for your comfort. "I'm stronger than any stupid curse or curse user! Stronger than any other sorcerer! I'm the perfect person for you!"

You almost couldn't believe these audacious words you were hearing, as Satoru screamed at you, his glasses slid down his nose showing you the glint of tears as the tip of his nose began to redden with his cheeks; you didn't know if it was from anger, sadness or both.

"Satoru- please calm down." You held his wrist, trying to bring him back to reality. He grew angrier as you continued speaking. "Just because we're strong doesn't mean we have to shut ourselves out from the world– you need to understand."

He wanted to kiss you just so you would stop talking, so you would forget all about that stupid partner of yours and instead become drunk with the feeling of him. He knew you had the power to kill him easily if he did that.

"Please– I guarantee you, whoever they are, I love you more than they do." He wouldn't listen. "I should be - WE should be together!" His shaky hands moved to hold yours closely, shoving them at his chest. You were thrown off by how fast his heart was beating.

"You feel that? This is what you do to me!" Desperation was evident in his voice as it cracked at the end of his sentence. You ripped your hands away from him. You've had enough.

"Stop it! You're acting like a child!" You couldn't reason with him. Logic wouldn't get through. "We don't have any obligation to be together! I'm strong enough to protect those I love!"

"So why won't you love me?! You can save your energy -" his hand landed on his chest "-with me! I don't need protection! I JUST NEED YOU!" Entitlement, love, anger– all his emotions came crashing onto him as he watched your expression contort with anger at his behaviour, he's sure he sounded insane but it doesn't matter, he could see that you refused to have him– for the sake of some weakling that couldn't even compare to him.

"They're just some pathetic civilian, aren't they?!" His accusations crawled under your skin and boiled your blood, what did he know? "Someone who would die against a grade 3 curse or whatever! I'm right, aren't I?!"

You wanted to shout back, to slap him even– you restrained yourself, you didn't get to where you are now by killing whoever disagreed with you, he wasn't on par with you– no one was. Your partner was your comfort in this lonely world of your relentless pursuit of strength. Looking at Satoru right now, you realised only they could provide that comfort for you.

Not Satoru.

"... you're being delusional, Gojo" ... huh? Gojo? Who's that? His heart plummeted into his stomach as pure disbelief and disgust oozed from your words.

He couldn't ask for you to repeat his name as he saw you turn and hurriedly walk out of his room. "Wai-WAIT!" It took him a moment to find his voice, another to blink away the tears, one more to lose his footing as the pain took this chance to ruin any opportunity he had of stopping you, he stumbled to the cold floor and couldn't catch himself or you in time.

"(Name)- waitwait! Please!" You didn't turn back. After everything he said to you, there was no way you knew Satoru anymore. This wasn't Satoru. This was some entitled brat from the Gojo clan.

He was glad you didn't see how pathetically fragile he looked from this dull injury, straining to get up and at least sit on his knees– another part of his mind hoped you stayed to look at him, crying and sniffling as he mumbled your name weakly on his dorm room's floor, maybe then you would have pitied him and agreed to at least go on a date with him.

Satoru always thought you were fated to be lovers. Now, he was reduced to his burden of being the strongest of the Gojo clan. He was over the moon when you two were close enough to use your first names. Now, he was back to being a stranger because of a selfish fantasy.

#your stars have aligned .•°✧✦✧ #<- new tag for requests n such yippie #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojou satoru x you #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #too many tags vomits

[sophieinwonderland]

Hey uh.... Are those mod posts in systemscringe about you supporting p3d02 real?/genq

Unsurprisingly, it's another smear.

Most of it is taking my host's personal post about having complex feeling about his own grandfather out of context. I think anyone who was raised by an abuser knows how messy feelings can be towards family members. And unsurprisingly, being raised in the home of a convicted former abuser, and the former victim who is willingly living there, is equally as complicated.

There is no excuse for abuse. But could there have been things that could have prevented the abuse? That post was my host suggesting that maybe the abuse could have been prevented by societal factors. Maybe if someone with severe PTSD from a war he didn't sign up for had been given proper mental health treatment on returning, things wouldn't have ended up the way they did.

I don't think it's wrong to believe that there could have been realities where someone who was sick was able to recognize that early on and felt comfortable seeking help. And maybe in those realities, some of the victims of abuse wouldn't have been abused.

There's no way to turn back the clock and undo the damage that's already been done. It's too late. But I think it's fair to believe we can work to prevent abuse like this in the future.

My host's comments were about the complexities of growing up with someone you love while knowing they did something horrible to someone else you love, and feeling that society as a whole let both of them down. That since his grandfather wasn't offending later in life, maybe that means his mom wouldn't have been harmed had his grandfather gotten help he needed before he hurt her. That this was a tragedy that could have been prevented.

I feel there's something really gross about using that as a gotcha for a syscourse talking point, but sysmeds never have had much in the way of morals.

To be crystal clear, my position is that pedophilia is a mental disorder, and nonoffenders should feel safe seeking treatment so that they can hopefully live happy, healthy lives without ever offending.

To me, it's also important to differentiate between people with paraphiliac disorders and child molesters. Not everyone suffering from a harmful paraphilia acts on it. And not everyone who molests children suffers from a paraphiliac disorder. Many are opportunists who just target victims who are most vulnerable, and don't have any particular attraction to children. While overlap exists, these are not the same things.

(We have no idea where my host's grandfather falls on this.)

I believe that if you isolate people with paraphilias, make them feel like they can't seek help, they end up with nowhere to turn and will be more likely to offend. Like with most illnesses, you'll get better results from treatment the earlier the intervention is. And ideally, early intervention means fewer children will be harmed.

Because that's the most important thing here. Protecting children from abuse.

This is what I support. Early intervention for nonoffenders to protect children. I don't believe in stigmatizing people just for having a disorder.

With the distinction between people with paraphiliac disorders and child molesters made, can we also talk for a moment about how the r/systemscringe mods are just straight-up supporting accused child molesters?

If you've seen their recent bot posts setup on the sub to try to disprove RAMCOA, it links to articles written by The Grey Faction, an ableist branch of the Satanic Temple aiming to deny the experiences of trauma survivors.

Much of the "research" on that page is coming directly from the now-defunct False Memory Syndrome Foundation.

For those of you who are unaware, Jennifer Freyd, the psychologist behind theories of Betrayal Trauma and DARVO, accused her parents Pamela and Peter Freyd of sexual abuse in the 90s after recalling her trauma in therapy.

Her parents responded by not only denying it, but setting up an organization called the False Memory Syndrome Foundation which was created to prove trauma memories were being implanted, and to take legal action against trauma survivors and their therapists.

If you've ever heard of DARVO as a tactic used by abusers before, know that Pamela and Peter Freyd's founding of the False Memory Syndrome Foundation were the inspiration for DARVO.

It is impossible to overstate the damage this evil organization inflicted on survivors of CSA in shielding their abusers from consequences

So while r/systemscringe desperately tries to paint me as some pedophilia defender, they're aligning themselves with actual child molesters and abusers, spreading the arguments that those same abusers used to discredit their victims.

#syscourse #csa tw #child abuse tw #abuse tw #false memory syndrome foundation

[winduska]

₊  🎞️ ⊹  .ᐟ Understand me | Hyunjin x Jeongin

.ᐟ Pairing: Hyunjin x Jeongin

.ᐟ Genre: Angst, Fluff

.ᐟ Word count: 5.2k

.ᐟ Author's note: My friend gave me a prompt and I made this? This is my very first one shot so I hope you'll like it.

Ps: If you want to have the best experience, put some classical music in the background

୧ .ᐟ Wana, this is for you

Forelsket - The euphoria you experience while falling in love

Yang Jeongin—not a day goes by where his name doesn't flatter in a conversation. Everyone gossips like crazy. The media are fighting for who will have a better photo of this man, and even the fans don't disappoint. Yang Jeongin is a model, but not a normal one. If we're talking about measure, he's a huge one. The whole of South Korea knows his name by now, and he's aware of it. Despite his popularity, he's definitely not a snobbish person who only takes an interest in himself. Everyone tries to make him seem bad, narcissistic and mostly arrogant. Probably to achieve some sort of victory for themselves. Hundreds and thousands of people are jealous of this man's success and wealth. Success, that was hardly worked for by Jeongin himself. Making himself grow and climb a high ladder full of obstacles and unnecessary weight. That's what his life was all about. From a kid to an adult, without any breaks or time for himself. Being raised into such mindset doesn't help at all. His parents didn't make anything easy for him, it being quite the opposite. Anytime Jeongin craved an answer from his parents, a reason for his mistreatment and under appreciation, he got a simple explanation. Explanation that contained the thought of having to work for everything by yourself. If you want to reach something in life, study and work for it without needing help. You don't need the help of others, even your own family. They perceived him as a strong, self standing man that doesn't struggle with minor occurrences. But the minor occurrence called 'love' is something that no one warned him about. Not even his own mind. His mind didn't even try to trick him into avoiding it, which he deeply wished for.

A few souls caught his attention and blossomed into dating and the thing called 'love'. But those flowers quickly lost their petals, and thorns were the only thing left. Left to rot and spoil into pathetic disarray. To put it simply, most of the people he dated used him for money, fame, and many more things. Not caring about Jeongin's needs for understanding and care. Devastation was a disease, and Jeongin had one. The emotions that Jeongin lived through every time were harsh and sharp with reality and endless disappointment.

It's been a month since Jeongin's last relationship. Many things have changed, including his mindset and some major personality traits. Don't get me wrong, he's a sweetheart and a wonderful man, but he's not that easy to get anymore. Being easy to get is a trait that you physically can't have in relationships, not to mention in the work industry. Many people used that side of Jeongin, which only brought him sorrow and hurt. Some may call him rude or mean, but it's not his true self. His fabulous colors are hidden from the outside world, which is gray and full of black accents. A world that doesn't appreciate the stupendous nature and grace of Jeongin himself.

One thing that has changed is a key person in his work who seems to be his main photographer. His last one didn't like Jeongin. It's weird, isn't it? Jeongin thought so too. He didn't understand why some people would work a job where you spend most of your time fulfilling quotas for someone you hate. Isn't that humorous and impolite? But then again, money move with our world, and the lengths people are willing to go through are insanely long. It's true that his last photographer took more money than he originally thought. Hiring a new one, and, to his surprise, acquiring the cheapest one yet. His suspicion was high, but when he looked through his artwork, which was full of photos and even photos of his own art, it was amazing. He caught himself getting lost in those distinct pieces. Admiring and absorbing those marvelous artworks, he shook his head and looked away from the monitor.

Hwang Hyunjin—that's the name of Jeongin's photographer. The moment Jeongin's manager recommended him and showed him his portfolio, he knew he had to hire him. Even though, on the outside, he didn't really care who this person was. The only thing that mattered was that his work is considerably cheap, and his artwork looks good. So what could go wrong? Getting scammed by him didn't sound valid, and according to the reviews, no one said anything bad. So why not give him a shot?

At the end of the day, Jeongin was very glad that he had indeed hired Hyunjin. Their work connection is good, even great. On some occasions, other photographers took advice from Hyunjin. Many were seeking help, and Hyunjin always caught their eye. So they just flew straight to the source. That itself may sound foolish, but it's what happens sometimes. Both of them know how to get their job done and what to do without having to talk much. That's something both of them value, since neither of them are superb with words.

Jeongin poses naturally, Hyunjin takes photos amazingly.

That's how most people would summarize their work flow. Sure, it's different when you're at your client's studio, where hundreds of different people walk by and order you. The stress and expectations make Hyunjin a bit uneasy, but the true beauty is in their own studio. Quiet, peace—only a loud clicking sound that's heard every time Hyunjin's focus reaches its highest and his confidence tells him to press the camera button. But he would be lying if he said that he focuses on the photo all the time. True, his main focus is on the composition and perfect angle. But maybe his eyes concentrate on the man that's shown on the square display. He can't help but adore the way Jeongin's stylist always makes him look so ethereal and brilliant. A simple job that makes Hyunjin lose his breath all the time. Jeongin was always styled in a way that was atypical, attractive and special. Clothes? Fancy and really fitting, complementing Jeongin's body perfectly. They hugged his figure impressively, with Hyunjin wishing that he could see Jeongin in those clothes for more than these stupid few hours.

"You're staring." The voice was sharp, but warm. Admonishing, but soft. It was a voice that Hyunjin knew very well; at this point, it was like a magical harmony. Hyunjin quickly refocused and shook his head a bit, just to make sense of what's real and what's not.

"Sorry." Hyunjin didn't bother to explain why he was staring or why his voice was so quiet and shaky. To him, it was obvious, and he had to play this safely. On the other hand, Jeongin didn't pay much attention to it. This was a common occurrence by now. He caught him staring numerous times but didn't really care about it, nor did he warn him. He always presumed that Hyunjin was focused on the angles, lights and overall composition. A thought of him looking at him never crossed his mind; he didn't even brush it lightly.

Hyunjin sighed and looked at the photo. "Sorry I set the iso wrong." Few clicks and Hyunjin set it right in the blink of an eye. But afterwards, Jeongin noticed his photographer's change of mood and stopped posing. He walked away from the set and began to walk towards Hyunjin himself. Hyunjin's stare raised, looking at the heavenly creature that was walking towards him. Is he an angel? The next thing he knows is that the younger man is standing next to him, taking the camera and wrapping his fingers around the handle. The photos on the little display changed as Jeongin looked through them and paid attention to every single one of them.

The proximity was a little too much for Hyunjin. Seeing him up close is a whole different level that no one could ever prepare him for. The smell of Jeongin's absurdly expensive cologne was so sharp that Hyunjin will remember it until the day his soul vanishes.

It didn't take much for Hyunjin to realize that he had developed a crush. At first, he wasn't sure if these euphonious feelings would be there forever. And he still isn't; who knows if he'll ever be? But what he did know is that it's the most beautiful but, at the same time, the most frustrating thing Hyunjin has ever experienced.

Beautiful in the sense of spending time with Jeongin. Sure, they don't hang out at all, but at work, it's their time to shine. Seeing him regularly and in his best moments. Seeing those stupid dimples whenever he smiles, his eyes that shine like stars in galaxies, and his perfectly shaped lips. And to his surprise, even the moments of Jeongin's casual state were there to be seen. Sometimes Hyunjin had to come over and have a chat with Jeongin about their work, mostly about Hyunjin's vision as a photographer. There are many spots and places where Hyunjin wants to shoot, most of them being easy to get to. Following this, the moments when Jeongin opens the door are simply the most precious. His hair was a complete mess, and his clothes casual, no fancy and expensive pieces, just a casual shirt and pants. A quick sneak peek is always present when Hyunjin watches the sight. He eyes him up and down, taking in his state.

Frustrating in a sense of desperation. He knows, or at least he thinks he knows, that Jeongin doesn't want a relationship. There wasn't a single hint of Jeongin looking for a significant other. Heck, Hyunjin doesn't even know if he likes men in the first place. It's frustrating to see how someone you like doesn't even take a slight interest in you. The look he wishes to get is nowhere near Jeongin's eyes. If he saw at least a little sparkle in them, he would feel better and slightly more confident in his emotions and feelings. Sometimes he wonders if frustration is a strong enough word. And the worst thing? He doesn't know if he should be frustrated with Jeongin or with himself. Is he making false illusions in his head, making up a world of delusions and wishes? Wishes, that will most likely not happen. It's okay to have a crush, but it's definitely not okay to have an unhealthy obsession with someone who doesn't even acknowledge your grief.

April 14th 2023

And here they are, in a park before sunset. The weather was good—a typical spring afternoon. A warm one, but with a hint of a cold breeze in the air. The sun was slowly setting in, and they're still having enough time for some photos. It was Hyunjin's idea to come here, obviously. The theme of the client's commission fits this setting perfectly, and the view is mesmerizing, full of beautiful, colorful accents.

"What do we think?" Hyunjin asked, playing around with the settings of the camera that was set in his hands and walking towards the spot. Jeongin was walking next to him, absorbing the nature that was surrounding them. As sad as it sounds, he doesn't have a lot of time to go for walks like this. His time is precious, and going for walks isn't in his schedule at all. Hyunjin looked up from the camera and let his gaze fall on Jeongin. Jeongin's eyes held a more sorrowful expression, which broke Hyunjin's heart a bit. Those gloomy eyes didn't suit him at all.

"What's the matter?" A hand landed on Jeongin's shoulder, and his head perked up in Hyunjin's direction. He noticed a slight hint of worry in Hyunjin's eyes. He didn't know why, but it felt nice knowing that someone's at least a tiny bit worried about your emotions. The younger man sighed, breaking eye contact in a quick motion and pulling Hyunjin's hand down from his shoulder. Hyunjin realized what he did, and he felt a bit embarrassed about such a gesture. He cleared his throat and walked again.

"It's just that you seem down." Jeongin knew that worries were acceptable, according to the fact that they were really visible. Still, talking about his feelings and emotions is hard. It's just something that he struggles with and doesn't want to deal with. It's a long and tough way, which he doesn't want to commit to yet. He nodded a bit and smiled, throwing a reassuring look at Hyunjin. This particular look made Hyunjin be more at ease, knowing that he didn't overstep any kind of boundary.

"I'm fine now, so don't worry about me." Suddenly, dimples were shining like stars, and Hyunjin was speechless. He wanted to say something, anything, to change Jeongin's mind and tell him what's wrong. But the more he looked at him, the more he understood him. Opening scars that aren't healed yet is a dangerous game, which he definitely doesn't want to play right now. Hyunjin gave him a small smile back to show that he understood him.

Both of them looked away from each other in awkwardness, not knowing what to say next. Hyunjin cleared his throat once again and pointed at the spot in front of him.

"You can go stand right there." Jeongin nodded back and trailed off. It was a beautiful spot, to say the least. And it was even more beautiful when Hyunjin saw the boy walk and pose for the camera. For a second, he forgot how to breathe. Whenever this sentence was written in a story, he thought it'd be humorous. Thinking, that it's not real. His mind quickly changed its opinion when it saw Jeongin. When Hyunjin looked at Jeongin posing, the beautiful sunset created the perfect scenery behind him. The field of white flowers that was scattered all over the ground, making this the perfect place for literary anything. With almost shaky hands, Hyunjin raised the camera, looked through it, and focused it. His focus was on so many things, not knowing if he should look at Jeongin or the whole photo. After shifting his looks from place to place, a click was heard, and a photo showed on the small camera display. When Hyunjin looked at it, he was left flabbergasted. Utter disbelief flushed his eyes as his gaze stayed locked on the photo. Jeongin looked ethereal and perfect; nothing else could ever compare to this beauty. Not a single being on this planet could've ever existed as handsome as Jeongin. And if so, it was a poor copy of atoms and molecules that didn't carry as much personality and story as Jeongin.

"Are they good?" Hyunjin's gaze perked up, and he didn't even notice that Jeongin was standing right in front of him. Trying to maintain his composure, Hyunjin started to speak. "Actually it's just one photo but-" Before he could finish his sentence, the battery in his camera died. A little battery indicator shined on the display before dying. He looked at the annoying sight and roamed around his pockets, getting reminded that he forgot to bring his extra battery. He groaned and sighed, knowing there's nothing he can do. Jeongin watched him, and it wasn't really comfortable to see him annoyed. But well, his annoyance was valid.

"Let's go take a stroll by the river, then." Jeongin offered, and Hyunjin gave him a surprised face. What's this? He never asked for such a thing. Hyunjin, of course, nodded and smiled a bit. It was such a small gesture, and it made him feel better and even happier. Happy that his angel offered him to spend some alone time with him. Gosh, since when did he become so cheesy? Is this what 'love' does to a person? One thing is certain: He needs to treasure this and keep himself at bay.

The walk was peaceful—a little too peaceful. Private schedules are the best and Jeongin's favorite ones. No fans, no paparazzi, and no annoying cameras - except Hyunjin. His favorite. The only camera that he's willing to stand and look at. Honestly, he never thought that a random photographer would be such a huge part of his career. But not only his career; his life as well.

Lots of thoughts are crossing Jeongin's mind, but the one that keeps bothering him is his fame. Being famous is not easy, and it's definitely not a dream land, as everyone perceives it. Everyone thinks that being famous is just taking photos, shooting videos and doing sponsorships. But it's nowhere near that easy and sweet. Actually, it's hell itself most of the time, if not all the time. Companies force you into stuff you don't feel comfortable doing. Making you sign contracts that take away your whole piece of self. Not being able to express yourself the way you want to, just the way you're told to. Mistakes? There is no room for those. Luckily for Jeongin, his manager has a little bit of sense left in his head. Never pushing him into anything. Only stuff that's ordered from above. Being big in an industry where everyone is secretly praying for each other's downfall is heartbreaking for Jeongin. He never used money to his advantage, let alone bribing someone. Never used a celebrity for his own success or to feed his ego. Maybe that's what makes him special? Not being a complete bastard and having empathy in his veins and mind?

It's definitely something that Hyunjin adored with every single piece of his mind. He and Jeongin grew closer without them knowing, adapting to the messed up word and circumstances they were in. Hyunjin himself didn't understand how much Jeongin meant to him, not until now. Fear of losing him overflowed his senses and even thinking about separation made him sick to his stomach. While talking to Jeongin, Hyunjin could see things he had never saw before. Feel emotions that he never knew existed. Hyunjin hasn't realized for a long time, but Jeongin really is the closest person that he has. Bold to say considering their relationship. It's a heavily work one, built on success and price. Is he that stupid to think that this has anything to do with real love and feelings? Despite his thoughts, Jeongin will forever hold a special place in Hyunjin's heart. A place reserved for him. A place that will never be held by anyone else. Not a single form of living will be able to supplant Jeongin's being.

Only if Jeongin could get the message.

"Hyunjin." When he heard his name escape Jeongin's lips, he immediately got thrown out of his thoughts. Whenever he gets lost in his own head, the sense of what's real and what's not is nonexistent. World stops, basic human needs suddenly don't exist and only the thing that he thinks about is present in every corner of his mind and body. "You're crying."

Silence. The kind of silence that neither of them expected nor did they think that they would get into such a predicament. The mood wasn't able to say how it was feeling. Was this whole thing uncomfortable? Or is it just unknown? They kept standing and looking, not knowing what to say or do. In this situation, normal human beings would say stupid things. Resulting into temporary happiness and peace, but is this what they should do? On one side, there's a person that's deep with unspoken and kept in feelings. And on the other side, there's a person that's not even thinking about such things. A man that's escaping from the whole apprehensive sphere, the beings in there threatening his stand and breaking the solid ground by the form of love.

May 26th 2023

Hyunjin's Diary

I still see you in everything that I do. I keep chasing you with my thoughts, thinking about how things could've gone differently. Furthermore, I will never stop, you know? Those months of work, the amount of feelings we shared and traded. I wish I could talk to you again, just one more time. I wish to not be scared of your reaction. In my years of existing and 'living', I never thought that I would do such a thing. I was scared of separation, yet I still separated us. Isn't that funny? No, I can't use the word funny. Not anymore. It keeps reminding me of you. I've always described and perceived you as a funny person, even though your smiles were rare. Whenever I caught a glance of them, I didn't care about anything else. Wishing you only the best and not wanting anything spiteful to happen to you. But in the end, I hurt you, didn't I? My withdrawal was sudden to you, but it longed in my mind for a good couple of months. I don't want to blame you, even though I did at first. I thought, how can someone be so oblivious? For me, it was clear that my feelings were visible. To this day, I don't know if you truly were that oblivious or if you actually caught them. Neither of that matters anymore, because I can't stand this. The reason I left and resigned was that I simply couldn't stand it. Or, more likely, I couldn't stand myself. Fighting those malicious thoughts every day wasn't going to last forever. I still fight them, trying to understand and befriend them. But it's hard. I don't know for how long I will have to keep fighting this battle. But I know one thing: I won't win it. I can keep trying, but it's not possible. By separating, I made this battle easier for myself, debilitated the enemy's feelings, and strengthened my own. If there's one thing that I wish I could've said while you were in my life, it would be a simple sentence.

I love you Yang Jeongin.

Hyunjin sighed, putting the barely working pen down and looking up at the ceiling. He was tired. Tired of everything that he'd been through. Life took a toll on him, and not knowing what he did, he ended up in such a state. Every single day, these thoughts keep coming back into his head, hoping that they'll be seen by the so-called Jeongin.

Hyunjin shifted his hands, picking up the diary from the table and closing it. But before the book made a closing ruckus, a thin piece of paper fell. Swaying in the air and hitting the ground, Hyunjin crouched and picked it up with his plane hands. When he turned the piece of paper around, his whole being turned pale. He was pale and confused of his own emotions. Emotions that were sudden and unexpected. There was the photo he hid in the depths of his diary. It was the one photo of Jeongin that he took, in spring. It was their last encounter, yet the most memorable one. The spring colors that were sprayed all over the photo were ravishing, being sunkissed by the enchanting sunset. His grip tightened, wanting to tear it apart and make it go away as fast as possible. He wasn't mad, but frustrated. This frustration was very familiar by now, showing and proving his actions and wrongdoings.

March 13th 2024

Rain was the only thing that was going on for the past week. It kept raining and raining, occasional thunderstorms. But something like that never stopped Jeongin from going out, especially it's meaning that fewer fans and annoying cameras would be present. Having alone time is hard, not to mention when you want to go for a walk. So, catching this opportunity, Jeongin immediately took his umbrella and grabbed his coat. Walking out into the cold, rainy weather mixed with a refreshing breeze. It didn't rain too much, but just enough to help him clear his mind.

Walking around, Jeongin stumbled upon a familiar park entrance. He froze, thinking back on the moment of shooting a particular spring commission. And thinking about a specific person. His heart ached, like someone pinched a needle into it. It's been almost a year since the separation, and he's still not sure where Hyunjin went. He left without a word. Not a single letter or a piece of paper with stupid cliché words on it.

Without needing to think twice, his legs were leading him into the park. He didn't need a particular reason or an excuse; he just wanted to go there and think about everything. Will it hurt? Maybe. Does he care? Absolutely not. In the end, it was his fault and his alone. Not thinking twice and forcefully blinding himself, thinking that he's not strong enough to carry the weight of Hyunjin's feelings.

First step into the park, rain hitting a bit more. Suddenly his mind enhanced, feeling like it's burning under the heaviness of limpid raindrops. It was like his skin was aware of every single raindrop that fell.

Second step brought him into his mind, feeling both the rain and the thunderstorm in his head. How is he going to do this? What's his plan, and what is he trying to achieve? Is he just searching for some kind of clue? He doesn't know, and in the end, he doesn't need to know.

Third step feels heavy, both physically and mentally. He's not prepared for whatever this despair will bring him. He's alone in this world. Millions of people know him, adore him and love him. But he's the only one who knows that none of that is real. They don't love or adore Jeongin; they adore the piece of him that's shown and made up by his acting skills and personality. Not because he wants it to be like that, but because it has to be like that. And that's why he always wondered: does Hyunjin adore that side of Jeongin that's made up by his other self, or does he adore the real Jeongin? He wants to know. Actually, he needs to know. Because he himself can't find the answer. He doesn't know how he was acting in Hyunjin's presence, because reality stops every time. He didn't understand it at first, thinking that Hyunjin is yet another person who's just comfortable. Likewise, he found comfort in him, not knowing why.

Jeongin's steps led him to the spot. The memories came back like a dream that never ended. This whole scene felt like a dream, but the burning sensation of raindrops kept reminding him that this was indeed very real. He stopped, and everything stopped. His stand was firm without any sort of movement. Divine thoughts filled his mind once again, yearning to be seen and understood. Is this how Hyunjin felt all along? If so, Jeongin feels even more cruel than before.

All of this felt like hours, and at this point, he was not sure if the wet things on his face were raindrops or tears. It can be a mixture of both, but it doesn't matter at all. His heart ached, his mind swayed, and his being stayed. It stayed in the same position and place, not wanting to move because it would distinguish all of his thoughts.

"Still the same cologne?"

Reality broke and words dissolved. Jeongin smiled a bit and let out a tired chuckle.

"How could I ever use a different one after knowing you." Those words were symbolic and very true. A different cologne could never replace this one. It was too meaningful, holding a special significance and life period.

"I never knew you were so cheesy." Both of them laughed, not caring about their situation or the ridiculous reality. It definitely does feel like a dream, but not even a dream could be this hitting and sharp with their presence. Both Jeongin and Hyunjin stared at the horizon, keeping the silence to speak for itself and letting it treat their wounds. Wounds that were too deep, but still fixable.

Catharsis was very present, yet still hidden behind the wall of silence. All of their feelings want to scream: Be let free. At the end of the day, that's what they deserve. They deserve to be seen after being kept in for a long time.

"Isn't it funny how we all do things that are bad for us? They hurt us, yet we still let them happen." Hyunjin said these words with awareness. Knowing that they're true for both of them. They symbolized everything that had happened. Hyunjin knew that loving Jeongin would bring sorrow. Sorrow, that will be a spiteful thing. And on the other hand, Jeongin knew that being forcefully oblivious was going to be bad. And not only for Hyunjin, but for himself too.

"But those things make us the happiest." Knowing the meaning behind these words, both of them took them in. For Hyunjin, loving Jeongin was the happiest thing in his life. All of those moments that they had were very precious and special. Something that Hyunjin could never forget. For Jeongin, he managed to be the happiest while not caring about the truth. Facing the truth of love would be something that would break him. Choosing a world of careless acts was something that protected Jeongin. It was a pitiful protection, but it was enough to escape reality. Taking responsibility was something that he couldn't manage to do.

Jeongin mustered up his confidence, thinking that this moment would be a confirmation of reality. He turned his head to look at Hyunjin, his eyes catching a glimpse of him. It's been a year, yet he still looks like the same bewitching person that worked for him.

Hyunjin stared back, turning his body to face him. After a couple of seconds, they realized that they were real. In this situation, there wasn't any room for agitation. Anything could go wrong, but they won't let it happen. Not after this year of suffering. Jeongin didn't let the outside world stop him, reaching for Hyunjin's hand and taking it into his own. Their fingers interlocked, hands felt like silk that was meant to be held. Their hands fit perfectly, not wanting to be touched by anyone else. Jeongin's other hand made its way to Hyunjin's cheek, making itself comfortable. He stroked the face that held many qualities. A face that was meant for Jeongin. He will treasure it forever, keeping it in his possession until the day he dies. He closed his eyes, not waiting for anything else to happen, and pressed his lips to Hyunjin's. There it was—the moment they both longed for. Not believing it, Hyunjin moved his lips and kissed Jeongin with more pressure and love. Everything was happening, and not a single thing could stop this moment. They broke the kiss, not wanting to overdo anything. Jeongin smiled, showing Hyunjin his true nature and letting his heart speak.

"I love you, Hwang Hyunjin." Hyunjin stared into Jeongin's eyes. Eyes deep with affection and unspoken feelings that were yearning to be known. And finally, they made their revelation. They didn't care about the word's problems and circumstances; they just needed to get to the person that they belonged to.

"I love you too, Yang Jeongin."

#kpop #kpop bg #stray kids #skz #skz angst #angst #skz fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids jeongin #stray kids i.n #fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #fic #stray kids fic #skz fic #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #jeongin #i.n #in #hyunin #hyunjin x in #hyunjin x jeongin #fluff

[dragonairice]

LOWKEY BEEN INSPIRED BY @not-sure-what-im-feeling s AWESOME OCS AND LORE (Go check them out)

And it inspired me to talk about MY ocs :D

I mention in passing that I am in fact writing a novel, but I try to avoid saying too much to prevent spoilers buuuuut I think I can keep it vague enough while still rambling <3

The novel (technically a novella) is called 'The Shadow Walker' and here's a draft of a blurb:

With no friends, an absent mom, an abusive dad, and a shadow that inexplicably went missing; Nicholas Walker is convinced his life couldn’t possibly get any worse. But everything changes when he meets something (or someone) who may or may not want him dead.

(Not the best but again it;s a draft)

ANYWAY THIS IS MY BOY NICHOLAS

He's 12 years old and a selective mute and my scrungliest little blorbo who experiences the horrors™. He doesn't have any friends, is neglected by his parents, and all in all has a bad time before the book starts :(

The only source of healthy food in the house (he borrows money from his dad and goes to the store alone) but is severely malnourished from eating nothing more than reheated takeout his dad left in the fridge. Nick doesn't talk verbally unless it's to his dad (out of necessity) and otherwise converses in ASL (which I'm learning for this book <3). Loves pretty buildings and stargazing, has a dream of visiting things like Notre Dame and the colloseum some day and is fascinated by architecture. I just realised that this kid would adore Minecraft but anyway after things get better for him he's given Lego models of like the eiffel tower and he loves them :)

Gonna stop before I spend the entire post talking about my boy and move onto

HIS MOMM

You know that thing that's like, "Not a bad person, just a bad parent"? Yeah. That's her. She ran away from her abusive boyfriend and left Nick behind out of fear, since she didn't know if she could survive by herself, much less with a child in tow. She ends up leaving with her best friend and they travel around the world a lot for their job. They're a musician who plays back up for bands in different places and Rachel ends up learning to play some stuff too after watching them for so long. The two end up dating at some point and they've been together ever since. Rachel still sends Nicholas a postcard every time she travels to a new place, but she doesn't have the courage to actually see him in person yet. Also fun fact. She's descended from a woman who was killed for being a 'witch' during the salem trials. This is relevant to the story :3

Do I have to talk about his dad??? Ughhhhh fine

This is Gregory Walker. I hate him. bye.

Not but fr, he's a terrible father. Works at a convenience store and his co-workers fear him. Lives off of take-out and instant ramen, never checks on his son. Spends all his money gambling and buying alchohol. Literally would not notice if he missed an entire month of his life (*cough* foreshadowing *cough*)

ANYWAY ONTO TWO OF MY FAVOURITES

LEXI AND CHELSEAAA

Lexi is a single mom who grew up kinda spoiled and is still figuring out how to raise a kid. Her parents are kinda helpful about it but also she doesn't want to raise Chelsea how she was raised so hgjhrj. Chelsea was orignally planned to be autistic since this entire book is a transparent cover for neurodivergent rep but the version of her in my head is so very ADHD instead. They only show up near the end of the book so I'm still experimenting with them a bit but Lexi is a huge book worm and Chelsea loves unicorns, like, I mean in the 'mythology is cool way' not the 'stereotypical girl behaviour' way. She does love pink things and sparkles though

THERE IS ANOTHER CHARACTER BUT THEY'RE A SPOILERRRR BUT I WILL JUST SAY THEY ARE NOT HUMAN AND ALSO WHAT THE TITLE OF THE BOOK IS TALKING ABOUT

(It's a sentient shadow, that's- do you get the pun in the name- there's three references in it-)

#The Shadow Walker #DragonairIce Rambles #The book's about halfway done now which is SO NEAT <333

[nerdygaymormon]

This is a text my dad sent me. I have several thoughts.

—————————

This is the first time he's told me that JC was gay. I knew this but was told a few years ago by my cousins. I met JC several times, he was very friendly, well liked, and played organ for the little congregation my grandparents attended.

One time we drove to his home, but my parents didn't allow us children out of the car, and JC came to the front door but kept it shut behind him so we wouldn't accidentally see his partner. I never saw JC bring his partner to family gatherings or even to church to hear him play the organ, isn't that sad?

Interestingly, in response to someone questioning if JC should be the branch organist, I heard my very Southern conservative grandma say, "What people do in their bedrooms is their business and no one else's." That stuck with me because that's definitely not the LDS way. I was a teenager at the time and having a bishop ask me about masturbation was something that happened a few times a year. My grandma was right, it was none of his business.

What a great thing it would've been if me and my gay cousin had known the truth about JC and able to talk with him about this and understood his life. Instead he had to hide in plain sight.

—————————

I have never spoken with my dad about a desire to have children, and several years ago I put that dream to bed, so for him to randomly bring it up is surprising.

I suppose this is an evolution in his thinking. He recognizes the unfairness of LDS teachings when applied to gay people and has developed this work around. While this seems hopeful and wonderful to him, it's problematic to me.

First of all, why are these children orphans? What traumatic thing happened to their own parents?

Secondly, current LDS practice is children can only be sealed to parents, a husband & a wife. At present, a single parent cannot be sealed to their child. Does he mean I'll also be married to a woman? In other words, he believes I won't be gay?

Third, why do I need to wait to the Millennium? Couldn't I adopt some orphans now? Isn't there a need now for them to be loved and raised?

Fourth, do I have a choice in this arrangement? What about the orphaned children, do they choose who becomes their new family? Or is this type of family arrangement required for all of us?

—————————

When people say that I'll magically be given a family after death, or that I'll be transformed to not be gay in heaven, that feels like the person is absolving themselves of any need to do anything.

There's no reason to make things better in this mortal life because things will be fixed after death. It's not necessary to wrestle with a theology that excludes queer people because queer people will not exist in heaven. It's an easy out for themselves that allows them to ignore the uncomfortable truths. And importantly, these types of comments don't provide comfort to me, the actual queer person who will be impacted by those beliefs.

Being gay is an important part of how I experience life and understand myself. My gender identity also is important for the same reasons. Stripping me of those characteristics would make me someone else, not me. By saying I won't be queer in heaven, it feels like saying they wish I wasn't queer at all, that there's something wrong about it, and they wish they didn't know me but some non-existing version of me. It would be more convenient for them if I wasn't me.

Please love me for me. Please want me to have happiness and joy in this life.

#david gets personal #queerstake #tumblrstake

[nunezs-stuff]

Sister Rosa/Athena

also big thanks to to my friend at cypriathus for the help

She was a child born in the times before modern technology and when the radio was created

Unfortunately she was born into a heavily sheltered and religious cult

Her father unfortunately forced himself onto his wife which resulted in an unwanted birth which made Athena

They named her that after Zeus's daughter since they were told by The Cult that their daughter would be spared from the sins they committed

During her time in the Colt she was often forced into meetings with families in the cold that wanted to possibly marry her off to their sons she declined each and everyone of them

But unfortunately her mother found a boy that she really liked and wanted her daughter to marry no matter what she said she was forced into the marriage at a young age like her father the boy was rather abusive he would grab her hair and try to touch her even though she didn't like to be touched and even if she told her parents she would often be told boys will be boys which pissed her off the one snowy night she ended up running off into the snowy Woods on the night before her wedding while she was

running through the woods while she was running in the woods she ended up being chased down by a wolf that tried to eat her out of starvation it ended up tearing some flesh off of her leg which caused her to scream and push the wolf away before the wolf tried again she managed to get her hands on a big rock and hit it on the head and kill it she ended up passing out from blood loss just to wake up in a pink bed with walls that had roses engraved on it and that was the day she found her true home and father

Personality

She's a no-nosense kind of gal

She strongly dislikes pranks and crude jokes

She worried about the well-being of Father Demaryius

She constantly ensures that her father is mentally well and she's not afraid to drag him by the leg to get him to rest and

She despises Traders and people that blatantly support the deities who betrayed father Demaryius

She can be quite tender compassionate and motherly especially towards the children with the most trauma but she's not afraid to act cruel and ruthless for her family and to get a mission done

Any child that father Demaryius brings home she welcome stem with open arms

She knows the black puppets are the ones who take care of the children since but she wanted to have them grow independency with the teenagers and the 12-year-olds on Homeworld she taught them how to clean cook and rely on themselves even Demaryius instilled that ideology and because of her poor experience with men she make sure that both girls and boys are raised right and respect each and with the older adults like her they also help out around Homeworld she also taught all the children how to plant and grow food

When Rosa was growing up on Homeworld Demaryius changed her name because she was named after the daughter of Zeus and he didn't like that name at all so he changed her name to Rosa both because of her birthmark on her stomach and because the name fit her better and when she was still little

she actually ended up getting a fatal illness that had no cure and so father Demaryius gave her some of his blood which

But it's physical defects and made her skin sickly pale

It made her birthmark that was once pink into a maroon color

It also changed her once red hair to blonde

And her eyes to a yellowish brown color and gave her any more to life and

She doesn't know how old she was when she was brought to Homeworld but she knew she was a child now she is an adult

And she looks around the ages to 20 to 21

When she leaves Homeworld

It's either for Missions or to pick up some supplies

When it isn't for either of those it's just for her personal fun

#I must survive #storytelling #spotify #diabolik lovers fandom #original story #SoundCloud

[bringmemyrocks]

Bit of lore about my personal history/take on violence in music discourse as someone who was raised on "violent music" (not discourse)

This is the first song I remember my parents ever singing to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4QS9d0z9qA

It's a song about the execution of Irish martyr Roddy McCorley, not the sort of song most American parents sing to their young kids. I got in trouble when I taught it and other similar songs to my classmates because it's not proper for young kids to sing about martyrdom in America (Jesus excepted).

It's one of many ways in which my upbringing was different from that of my classmates (regardless of race/religion/ethnicity weren't at all interested in indigenous people's rights). They didn't know that Lincoln ordered the mass execution of Indigenous people or even that Custer was a villain (I was floored seeing Custer in Night at the Museum). I was the only kid in my high school who spoke up against racist Native mascots (and the only kid who celebrated when Thatcher died, not to date myself too much.) I'm including non-indigenous students of color here btw, who in my case were just as happy to dress up as Native stereotypes as the white kids. Solidarity is not automatic; it takes work.

These kids didn't know better at the time but understand why it's wrong now that they're adults. And I'm glad for that, but there's something about growing up knowing this stuff is wrong rather than being radicalized as an adult that still separates me from other activists. They'll mention "I never knew about the genocide of indigenous peoples in America; I loved the movie Pocahontas growing up!" meanwhile I was bullied by students and teachers alike for bringing up anti-indigenous racism as a ten-year-old in class.

This isn't me claiming superiority but explaining that I grew up with a completely different frame of reference than most Americans and still find it hard to relate. If you're like me, then consider this post solidarity, not selfishness. It can be really lonely, especially if people assume that because of my religion, I must have bought into American exceptionalism.

I know this site hates Harry Potter bc of JKR now, but there's a line from that series that always stuck with me: "People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right." I think especially in predominantly white activist spaces, this is the thought that prevails. And while it's not wrong, it can be alienating for people like me who never had to "deconstruct" in this way.

Solidarity is about the work, not about purity politics/relatable experiences/who has had good politics for the longest period of time. But now and then I'm reminded of how lonely it was to grow up the way I did, even though I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I (fortunately) don't follow anyone who's made the tired/racist argument of "rap music is bad because it involves violence" and am only seeing the posts made in response to said (bad) arguments. I grew up listening to music that glorified revolutionary violence, from the song above to the more recent and more complex Sean South of Garryowen.

When I started listening to music made by/about other revolutionary movements (no not Hamas, leave me alone), it was the same as listening to any of the other music I'd grown up on. It's not at all a perspective-shift for me. I don't think I was ever "radicalized." I don't know how else to explain it.

#i #aka the music I grew up on was not the music of my 'peers' so this discourse just. doesn't make sense to me in a lot of ways

[elbiotipo]

I need to share what I had to witness in the Youtube comments section of a video about the pros and cons of living in the US and Europe, which had me thinking "I wonder what elbiotipo would think of this": there was an Argentinean saying that he moved to the US 10 years ago (he didn't state how old he is now), and claimed that he knows the "European way of life" due to growing up in Argentina (???), so he really made it look like he knows what he's talking about and can say which of those places are better to live, then saying he prefers the US. I think what made this even funnier is that another user replied to that guy, one that grew up in Netherlands and moved to Argentina, and added that Argentina is not like living in Europe at all and there's no such things as an European way of life since we're talking about a whole continent, unlike the US. Now I knew Argentina has this bad fame of being perceived as "European" but that's probably the first time I see one that genuinely believe they're the same. It reminded me of some of the gaúchos we have in Brazil but that guy was being a bit more extreme about it

There are a bunch of assholes (mostly upper class people in my experience) in Argentina who believe they are Proper Europeans unfortunately Cursed to be born in Latin America and they want to Escape From Latin America and go back to Europe, or if that fails, to a "proper country" like the US (I'm sure you've heard of these guys, if gaúchos in Brasil are any similar) That guy sounds particulary unbearable. Like I'm imagining him talking and I want to tell him to go shit himself.

And yes, there are many sections of Argentine society that are proud of their "Europeaness", after all, it was the Eurocentrism encouraged during the XIX-early XX centry administrations to "civilize the country". The truth is that Argentina does have a majority of inmigrant descended people, and this has been considered -especially by the Porteño elite- the core of the country, dismissing all the other people who make this country. This is the core issue with racism in Argentina; the belief that European inmigrants (we never tak about Asian, Middle Eastern ones...) built this nation, and the rest are just useless people, or even aren't there because all Argentines came from Italy and Spain (this is why you find people saying Black Argentines or Indigenous Argentines "don't exist", which you can see is patently untrue the moment you walk through any street). I'm not mincing words here, this is how racism expresses itself here.

In some cases, it has expressed itself as a rejection of the country itself, like "this country is shit, I wanna go back to my grand(grandgrand, usually)parents home in First World Europe". The funny thing is that comments like that Dutch person show the truth: for all their eurocentrism, they are still Latinos born and raised here and their idealization of Europe or the US makes no sense, because they have no idea how's life there; they BELIEVE they do because they're white and wealthy, but they don't. They're basically highly privileged assholes who want to shit higher than everybody else, and since money isn't enough, they start claiming cultural/racial kinship with a First World that doesn't care about them.

You can't escape from Latin America if you're not a Latin American first.

[scertifiedsavanaclawstan]

Annnd Part 7 of @jackplushie's automation au!

Diasomnia time it's finally here! No spoilers this time because... no Diasomnia chapter yet. So let's a go!

Also welcome to my new sideblog for twst writing!

Diasomnia

Diasomnia Robotics is a company that custom makes several distinct types of bots, but primarily focuses on combat.

Of course... that isn't to say that Diasomnia's bots remain associated with them, in fact, none of the ones you know remain so.

Malleus, Diasomnia Robotics' newest and most advanced bot to date. Designed to show off the capabilities of their engineers, in the arena.

Built with extreme strength, speed, and specialized weaponry, Malleus was poised to win easily. Even still, no expense was spared.

A personal mechanic for maintenence, and the arena's longest reigning champion to train him personally.

Malleus was setup for an absolute victory, a victory he achieved with ease. He was the new champion of the arena after a one sided final match.

And he felt... empty. Watching his opponent's battered form get dragged away, hatred in his eyes, Malleus didn't feel accomplished or empowered. He felt... bored.

That everything he had been working towards was completed so suddenly and now he could do... nothing.

He was used goods, he wasn't going to be sold to a new master. He was glad that his trainer's master and his mechanic had managed to get the go ahead to keep him with them.

So he wasn't alone, and as he lived with them all they grew quite close. But Malleus still... didn't feel right. He didn't feel like he could explain himself to them.

He spent a lot of time alone, wandering the city or the scrapyards searching for peace. That's how he finds you.

You, incredibly, have no idea who he is. It's easy for him to let you come up a with a nickname, and begin talking to you on his nightly walks.

It's good for him. He gets to talk to someone who doesn't glamorize him, who doesn't have any assumptions about his problems.

It fills that emptyness within him, just a bit. So... maybe he does try and move his little family closer to you (or in with you).

Just so he can feel better... more often.

Lilia was the champion many many cycles before Malleus, and probably the longest lasting.

After the first few times Diasomnia stopped sponsoring him, and he began competing on his own. Just because he didn't have anything else in his programming.

After his tenth year he was finally taken in for a tune up... and afterwards he was... different.

He could feel the sun on his skin, and the wind through his hair. It was like the entire world had come into focus.

He didn't have time for more meaningless battles... he had to go and LIVE!

On one of his many forays into random parts of the world he was walking peacefully, before hearing a deeply grating sound.

Upon searching he found... a baby? It was... so small... so weak. He took a liking to it immeadiately.

The next years... many years... of Lilia's life were spent learning how NOT to kill a human. He was surprisingly successful.

After the whole group comes together he does his job as Malleus' trainer quite well if you asked him. Considering... Malleus won.

Although having to become a mentor to Malleus' mechanic was a pleasant surprise. He had gotten to quite like looking after people.

Which remained when Malleus brought him in contact with you. He's quite fond of you for making his boys (and him) quite happy!

So he'll make sure to use his abilities to keep everything that way. Don't worry!

Silver bots- Uhm. Don't exist? Surprise Silver is Lilia's adopted human son! And the legal owner of Malleus and Lilia.

Being raised exclusively by a collection of parenting books scavenged from the trash an android, he is... a bit off.

He's quite knowledgeable about the world due to Lilia's bredth of experience, what he has trouble with is... actually talking to people.

When he first met you he was... rather uncomfortable, stand-offish and professional, which is how he learned to act since he has duties as Lilia and Malleus' owner.

He adjusted quickly though, and it only took a few days for him to be more comfortable around you. At least comfortable enough to sleep around you which he does... quite frequently.

He's not entirely sure how he feels about you, although he does see the rest of his group having similar... feelings? Is this a human thing? He's still not entirely familiar with that.

Well he's not leaving for a while, so he has plenty of time to figure it out.

Sebek bots are normally standard combatants, keyword on normally. Your Sebek took a... different path.

A skilled android mechanic was... very infatuated with his assisstant bot. And they decided they wanted a kid.

Using his connections the mechanic got a blank Sebek bot, and got it into a... certain program studying android sentience. Which additionally gave him all the outward appearance of a human.

When he came back, the two began treating him as their son, including managing to get him fake credentials to live as a human.

Sebek was... confused. And mostly belligerent. While he respected his mother for having a purpose and acting on it, his opinion of his father was... less positive.

While he did act as a human if only to protect his parent's ruse, he sees mankind as beneath him, although he did pick up his father's craft.

This, however changed when he became Malleus' personal mechanic.

Suddenly he felt like he did have a purpose! Someone to devote his life to! And yet at the same time he met Silver. His opposite. A human who was raised by an android, and he felt... jealous.

Jealous that Silver felt his purpose while still being completely human, so he did what he was good at and... mostly just nagged him.

It didn't get any better when he met you, a human who didn't even think about a purpose from birth.

But his Lord is so fond of you that he can't nag you too... so he mostly watches you from afar at first, trying to 'get' what you're all about. Although as a result he's another one who winds up on guard duty for you a lot. For Malleus' sake! Not because he wants to! Definitely!

He'll warm up to you and possibly himself eventually. Just give him a bit of time to open up.

#twst #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver #sebek zigvolt #silver twisted wonderland #automation au #twst x reader #diasomnia