#my life is going down the shithole | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gremlingottoosilly · 10 months

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"If you need to be mean"

Konig just got his promotion to colonel. It also came with deployment in a terrorist-ridden country, but at least he would get an adorable, civilian you as a prize. TW: Konig being a huge pervert, Canon-Typical violence, Dub-Con, Innocence kink, Age difference(Konig in his yearly 40, Reader in young 20)

Pairing: Konig x fem!Reader Tags: Fluff, Power Imbalance, Hurt/Comfort, Size Kink, Possessive Konig, Yandere Konig, Creepy scary stalker Konig, written mostly from Konig perspective Word count: 5213 My AO3

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

König hates this fucking country.

Shithole in the middle of nowhere, with literally nothing going on – some border quarrels with some terrorists that are desperately trying to settle into the big war on terror that won’t achieve a thing and would be meaningless anyway. No one wanted to actually station here – this is why they promoted him so quickly, just so they could send him away like a pack of garbage they can’t give two shit about throwing out.

He never even wanted this promotion. Too much work, too many people, never enough time to relax. Payment is sweet, of course – if he only had time to use any of this. He is too old for new titles, you can’t teach old dog new tricks – and, quite frankly, he does feel terribly old while doing nothing but pushing papers and listening to some useless fucking recruits with their reports.

Job is simple – stay on the base, make sure that the locals won’t become too villifed to the soldiers that are supposed to protect them, even though he already knows how people would feel about the PMC stationed in their city. Fights with occasional resistance from the outsider force that decided “Hey, let’s just annex our neighbor, what could possibly happen?”. He doesn’t know a lot about this country – but if they have enough money to hire KorTac to help the local forces, he might be quite interested. If he only had energy for that anymore – between relentless paperwork and occasional yelling at his stupid fucking nonsense of rookie – seriously, it feels like they hired a bunch of edgy 12 year olds instead of normal soldiers.

Job is simple and he finds himself bored to death because this isn’t what he enlisted for. He wanted to fight, to kill, to burden this urge to hurt people who once wronged him with someone who is – probably, maybe, somehow – deserve it. Not really a noble cause, but he stopped playing knight in shining armor once they used him as an infiltration weapon instead of what he actually wanted. All hopes and goals in his life were buried deep with his first sniper rifle – and rude comments about his inability to sit still, even though he is still as good at being a killing machine as a human being possibly can.

— Sir! We, uh, have a problem to report.

Gut.

A problem – this sounds as exciting as it can be. Last time his brigade got a problem, it was about some new recruits falling down with stomach ache because of the forged alcohol they were drinking. Also that one time someone tried to burst their way into the base – not fun, since officers took care of him, but it was at least something to do except for reading and scrolling through various housing options like he actually has a use of buying something with more than one bedroom. Like someone would look at him and love him – enough to pass through some easy fling and start living with him. No one would do that – even his parents couldn’t.

Still, the problem sounds exciting. Maybe, he could actually go on a mission instead of feeling useless. They promoted him just to pin on the wall like a trophy.

— Repost immediately, soldier. What is it?

— A civilian, well…a civillina woman…lady, broke the curfew.

And here it is. Not an unexpected attack from his enemies, not even a drunken fight that someone from his subordinates decided to join and ended up getting their asses kicked. Is this what years of service come to? Watching over some stupid club girls broking the easiest fucking rule to follow, like getting home at midnight is a completely alien experience for them. One of the things he hates about his rank – he is used like a public figure, giving speeches, trying so hard to come up with something other than “Ja, we will kick asses of everyone who tries to infiltrate your country, don’t worry” and then he has to act like he knows what he is doing. Which he obviously doesn’t. If there was a way to just give up his rank and become a shadow again, a monster under a terrorist’s bed, he would do it. Without even a second to think.

— Send her to the police. We aren’t supposed to deal with…

Then comes the second guy – he doesn’t even remember his name, fuck this, he is supposed to be a father to his troops, or big brother at least, but he couldn’t give less of a fuck to someone weaker – inferior, smaller, someone who will die within a week or so in his first battle because apparently, higher-ups just love recruiting spineless teenagers now.

Second guy comes to the room, holding someone very firmly by their hand – and König isn’t religious, he isn’t even sure when was the last time he was at any church, the little prayers his grandma used to sing is long forgotten for him, but he sees your face and almost believes in angels.

König is too old for this shit, again, he hates this country, his team, his rank – then he looks at your face, the way it twists with fear and nervousness because of course, one of his dumb subordinates is holding you too tight and the softness of your flesh – why in the world you are wearing such light clothes, it’s night outside, you will catch a cold and he would give you his jacket, but that would drown you under the weight of it, and he don’t want you to smell the alcohol he has on his clothes, terrible coping mechanism with boredom, and he might just give you something else, maybe, like his shirt or a…

Wait a minute.

He doesn’t even know your name, even though he is sure this is something gorgeous and would look perfect next to his last name, but he looks at your face and all the years of his military training is suddenly washed away because he can’t even muster a thing out of his mouth. Thank god no one is forcing him to stop wearing his hood – he wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise, not with how hot his face feels right now. You are nervous, this is obvious, since you broke the curfew and went on the streets past 11 pm. He should just bring you to the police, he isn’t even sure why his soldiers would bring some random civilian to the base. He immediately wants to give this private a raise – for bringing him a goddess walking on Earth. Angel, succubus, all of the fancy names and…it feels like he is going crazy. And he should compose himself. Be a good example of a rotten mercenary commander.

— Why were you breaking the curfew, miss..?

He hates how squeaky his voice sounds, even after all the years in service he can’t get rid of that boyish tone and nervousness every time he is talking to women. All the fear is immediately washed away after you tell him your name – and it’s gorgeous, perfect, feels like something he can devour, something he can moan in the depth of the night while using his hand as a poor substitute for the warmth of your body.

The pause lingers too much and he already suggests just…taking you. To further investigation. to see if you are really just an innocent person caught up in breaking the rules or an enemy spy – which would give him the perfect opportunity to interrogate you and hold you for a bit longer. He wants you to be a problem, actually – that would give him the authority to hold you here, to think about you in a way that won’t immediately make him a bad person.

— Went to the pharmacy. Forgot about the time, I’m…I’m sorry.

You look guilty and weak and nervous obviously – a good girl caught up in the reality of her home country now implementing new rules just so it won’t get annexed by their neighbor. He wants to protect you – or give you the real reason to be scared of him. He wants to be good, but you look too cold in those clothes and he wants to give you something more. Or warm you up in a different way – which makes him feel horrible, his skin crawls and hands are fidgeting again even though he is almost sure he forgot about that habit after a few trigger-happy moments with the enemies.

— Pharmacies should be closed by this time. Why were you here so late?

Soldier that brought you here left you with König – colonel, you saw him in the newspapers and on TV, some public speeches while concealing his face in various ways. You don’t trust him, don’t trust the mercenaries – how can you believe that they are going to save you if they don’t even dare to show their faces? He is even scarier in person – big, hulking, too muscular to feel safe, with something like a sack thrown over his head. You want to forget about the medicine you bought and just run away, but that would only mean outright saying that you are guilty.

You brace yourself and try not to feel too small, but König just wants to wrap his hands around you and throw that weak body of yours on his shoulder. Not letting you go away. Ever.

— I…got lost. Sorry, I know what this looks like, but I just changed the apartment and…look, this is a bog misunderstanding. I have my documents, I’m local! Not some spy or anything, I promise.

Too bad – you would have the opportunity to escape if you were an enemy. Some evil and wicked femme fattal that is here to seduce him and get the important information out of him – but if you are telling the truth and nothing, but a civilian, he isn’t sure that he could save you from…falling to his hands. It’s stupid, he should really just find someone to fuck, he is getting desperate over the first cute and gentle girl he saw in this place – but really, do he has a chance with a soldier if just a helpless weakling like you can make him kneel? He needs to compose himself.

— You really shouldn’t be out so late. There is a reason the curfew is upheld. It saves you from the danger.

— For now the only danger after midnight is your soldiers, apparently.

Your breath hitches as you understand what you just said – god, who was holding your tongue and making you blurt this in front of the fucking commander? You might have had the chance of just escaping before, you weren’t doing anything wrong, you know that some of your friends were breaking the curfew after a party or late visits, but they were never held to the police or martial law – soldiers are understanding of the situation, no one from the young people actually wants to stay in their houses no matter the threats war can bring. You might have the chance of going out with nothing but some harsh words about those stupid younglings ignoring the rules – but now you insulted his men and this will probably bring you to jail for the night at least or something even more…

He laughs. And the sound of it makes your cheeks warm.

— Ja, I can understand why you would say that. But you shouldn’t break the curfew.

You feel like winning a lottery, but the prize isn’t money – it’s the chance of getting out of this creepy building and going home to your warm sheets and slight smells of devastation and loneliness.

— I’m really sorry, sir, I won’t do this again. Promise.

You look guilty, and König loves this expression. The softness of your face, the way your eyes are filled with tears when you think he would actually make you goto jail or do something even worse. He relishes in this power over you – even though he doesn’t mingle with civilians, always keeps a safe distance with women around him, never dares to even give them a careful look. He wants to take you away – protect from the world around you, from this fucking place, from all the dangers. The only thing that is dangerous to you seems like him – because he is the only one with power here, the only one who can decide whether he wants to behave like an asshole and lock you away or…

— I can’t just let you go. Let me…I can escort you to your residence so I can make sure you actually went home. And not somewhere else.

He looks at your pharmacy bag – it's a shitty plastic one, transparent and see-through. He understands immediately why you would decide to run to the pharmacy so abruptly even within the vicinity of the curfew – and the fact your bag contains pads and pain medicine only makes him want to scoop you in his arms and get you to his quarters. Government gave them a pretty nice location for the base and he, as the commander, got a bedroom that won’t even make you think about the military. Perks of quartering outside of base, even the barracks are nicer than the ones at home – and he would love to introduce your sore body to the comforts of warm sheets.

You look at him, surprised and nervous, your adorable lips twists in a pout as you think about your options. You can’t really say no, this can make him angry and resentful – and these aren't emotions you want the local military personnel to feel about you. He is also scary, and stares too much – you don’t want him to look at you like this, both surprised and depraved, but something in his figure still makes you trust him. Maybe it’s that weird propaganda about them protecting your country – he is a public figure, he can’t be evil, right? Maybe it’s just the way his hands fidgets as if he is nervous about your answer – or little cracks in his voice that makes you blush just a little every time you hear it. Or you are simply too tired to not comply.

— I, um…are you sure? You must have some other things to do. I don’t want to be a bother, really.

— I want to protect you from harm. Nights are dangerous.

You want to say that it’s okay, you spend more time in this country than he is – and you know every little corner of the city by this point, no matter the military outposts and destruction. You also want to say that this is creepy as fuck and you don’t want a random guy to just know where you live – but you can’t say that, you are already almost buried yourself with that long tongue of yours, and the only thing you want to do right now is just drink your ibuprofen in peace and get teleported to your bed.

You want to say no, but it almost feels like something romantic and even though he isn’t showing his face, the view of his muscles, bursting out his clothes and body armor, enough to make you agree. You can regret that decisions later – but with the way his eyes light up like he is a puppy, you probably won’t.

— Okay. I…I mean, if that’s okay with you, sir.

— I live to serve. Und ich diene gerne jemanden, dir so bezaubernd ist wie du.

— Sorry?

It sounds like German, and the way he pronounces it makes you feel like it’s something important – but you don’t want to ask for translation, he mutters it under his breath, Maybe some curses about stupid girls getting caught by his soldiers and how he needs to escort them to make sure they are not enemy spies ready to put their knives in his back.

— Just show the way.

He is awkward, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he looks at you and fights the urge to just squish you with his hands. You are pouting, your hands are trembling, and you are shaking – maybe from the cold or just from fear. König hates himself for not understanding whether he wants you to be scared of him or not. There is something dark, predatory almost, in having someone as adorable as you shaking like a leaf – but he also wants to just scoop you in his hands and make sure you will never be afraid of him.

He is awkward, silent, he goes on the open side of the sideroad like protecting you from any vehicles that may cross the road at this hour – even though the only ones who are allowed to move at this time of day are hospital workers and his soldiers. His hand looms over your side, like he is not sure whether he wants to just grab you by your shoulder or allow you to lead in a more simple way. You feel protected in a way – you can’t even read his expressions because of that weird mask he is wearing, but his eyes are strangely warm every time he looks at you and thinks you are not looking at him.

König wants to talk, but he isn’t sure what he even can say to you. The weather is nice? It’s the night, a cold one, and he doesn’t want you to catch some weird illness, but he also doesn’t want to seem like a creep by giving you his jacket. He would do so in a blink of an eye, he would die seeing your smaller body wrapped in his clothes like a nice little gift – but he knows who he is. Monster, giant, always too much and never enough, zero experience with someone who is one his one night stand in some lousy pub when he hates himself a bit less than usual. And you smell clean, civilian, sweet almost, he feels like a dog by just looking at the way your cheeks are blushing from the cold weather.

He wants to initiate the conversation, know what you like and dislike, maybe learn your opinion about the situation – many locals dislike military presence, he understands this, KorTac isn’t known for being the best guys around here, but they get the job done, however bloody this might be. He would give away anything to just be able to talk – to speak like a normal person, without scaring you or making you think that he is weird. It’s borderline embarrassing, over the many years of his life he was thinking that he would outgrow his anxiety somehow – and here he is, fidgeting with the stupid anti stress toy in his pocket that his therapist gave him, not knowing how to talk to a girl in his grown up years.

— You’re local.

It doesn’t even sound like a genuine question, it’s more like a threatening statement and he doesn’t like the way it sounds. He can’t gave it back now, it would be even weirder, he just wants to calm down and breathe, but even this is fucking impossible when every time he looks at you, it seems like you are only getting prettier.

— Lived here all my life, sir.

You’re nervous, and he at least finds some comfort in this – he is not the only one who is scared here, even though he understands that you will surely be more scared than him. But it still comforts him just a little, knowing that you are in roughly the same boat – he can smile under his hood and attempt to at least pretend to be normal. Even if this would be literally impossible for someone like him.

— Where do you work?

It sounds like an interrogation and you are not sure if you want to answer truthfully – he isn't trying to force you right now, he isn’t even touching you no matter how closely you are walking, but you are smart enough to understand why telling a random man you just met where you live and work is a bad idea. Even if the man itself is a prominent figure in protecting – or not – your country and literally walks you home because you got lucky to not be sent to the police for breaking the curfew. You would just lie to him about where you work and, hopefully, never see him again – but it’s not just a random guy you met on Tinder. He probably has the resources to check if you really work in said place and if you didn’t and just lied to him then, well…he isn’t threatening you, but your overthinking is enough to make you scared.

— Just a waitress. Cafe I work at isn’t very far from my apartment.

You even tell him the address, all while praying he won’t visit you at work. He has the right, of course, especially if he would leave a good tip, but military personnel staying at your cafe probably won’t be good for business. Clients may go away, and that would mean leaving you without tips – and then you can kiss your shitty apartment goodbye. He probably won’t visit you, he is just asking this to fill the awkward silence and check whether you are a spy or not – how confident your answers are, if your story checks out or not. He is a colonel, he must have a lot of other stuff to do instead of chasing over some rule breakers.

— Hm.

König already knows where he will be eating every day from now on. But…hell, can he do this, really? It would probably be very awkward for both of you, and you may think that is stalking you, which he definitely is, but doesn’t want to show it yet. He can give you a nice tip every time, he sure as hell has money for it, but then you would think that he is trying to buy you, which he would of course try to if you would be fine with it because honestly, girl as adorable as you should get all the nicest thing she wants to, and he can provide for it, but his damned awkwardness would never let him outright say this, which would lead to a very uncomfortable situation and…

— We might need someone local to help with operations.

Nailed it. Right?

— Wh…what do you mean, sir?

You look scared, nervous, he doesn’t want you to be scared, you’re supposed to feel safe around him! He might hate higher ups for giving him this rank and sending him to this fucking country, but he will protect you no matter what. He wants to be useful, for people to stop being scared of him – to start liking him instead, even if some cold, dismissive way of just stopping bothering him with stupid stuff. He would allow you to bother him all the time, he would protect you and make sure you are alright – you just have to let him, that would be really easy and…

— We’re strangers here. Lots of operations crossed because locals refuse to cooperate. We might need a guide out here.

He sounds nonchalant, like he doesn’t really care about your answer, but the grip of his hands is stating otherwise. He throws you nervous looks, cold eyes flickering with anxiety as you take your time to answer, secretly hoping that you would get home before you’d had to state this. It doesn’t feel like a genuine question, more like a statement again. More like you don’t really have an option to say no, since he still has the power over you. Since he still looks and sounds like someone who can and will throw you over his shoulder and use it as a cannon folder.

— I…I’m not sure, sir. I have to work at my actual job.

Can he blow up your cafe? That would greatly diminish the chances of bumping into you on a romantic Sunday morning, ordering coffee just the way you secretly like it, and then leaving you a very generous tip that would immediately show you what a sophisticated and loaded gentleman he is. He can say that enemies did it, and then he would execute those poor people for ever messing with civilians. He can also get some people from the government to close it, so you wouldn’t have any place to work and then you would be simply forced to work with him – and help him get out of this country as soon as possible. He would pay you well, of course, and being your boss would be a very…interesting experience for him.

— Are you sure?

You bite your lips and it's proven to be a horrible idea in such terrible weather – your skin breaks easily and you feel the blood in your mouth. Nice – now you would have to invest in lip balms again even though you are sure as hell that even yesterday the weather was nice. Colonel – König, you remember his callsign, no names of course, some twisted secret identity over protecting people who can literally kill you and won’t have consequences – look at you and you can swear to god that his eyes are narrowed, studying your features a bit more. Is he going to kill you for refusing the…job offer? Demand of working with mercenaries to protect your country?

— Sorry, I…I really need to think about this. And get at least two weeks notice from my job.

He is too focused on the way blood is glistening on your lips. He wants to lift the lower half of his hood and lick every little drop lingering in your mouth. Kiss this little wound until you would turn into a moaning, crying mess under him. Hold you so tight, he would leave bruises in places his fingers were – all while you are allowing him to. He isn’t delusional enough to think you like him the way he adores you already, but he is delusional enough to imagine you would comply with him mostly – he is a great person. Except for almost everything, of course.

The road to your home is lonely, no one around, obviously. People aren’t breaking the curfew on the main streets – except for you, apparently, they are tending to do stuff in the shadows if they need something to go out at night. He looks at every street light with suspicion, almost wanting for someone to try and attack you – that would allow him to be your hero, protector, to put out all of his pent-up aggression on someone else while being praised for it. He wants someone to try and kill him just to feel a bit more alive – but then you stop in front of the house, and it only takes one look for him to decide that no, he isn’t going to let you go that easily. He may not be a good or even decent person, but he is not allowing an adorable little thing like you to live in that fucking rathole.

— You live here?

— Yes. Thank you for, well, looking after me. I know that I broke rules, I won’t…won’t do that again. Sorry.

— No.

— What do you mean “No”?

Is he going to inspect your apartment? You are pretty sure that you left your bed in a very chaotic state and there is more than one pair of panties lying on the couch. Not even speaking about how horrible your living conditions are – tiny apartments, barely enough space for one person fitting in 20 square feet with all of their stuff inside, and an overwhelming desire to blow something up each morning when one of your neighbors is fighting again.

You don’t have anything to hide, but you are getting pretty tired of people who just think that because they sold their bodies to the military, they can do what they want.

— It’s a horrible place for a girl to live.

Hey! You might hate your place, but even that rathole of an apartment doesn't deserve something like this.

— Well, it’s not a castle, but…I manage.

— Don’t you have another place to sleep?

He is fighting with the urge to invite you to the base instead. Far greater place for a little goddess like you, much nicer than…this. He has to physically restrain himself from throwing a hand on your shoulder. He just stared, hoping that you would pull a prank on him and actually has some better living conditions – he can’t bear thinking about you in that kind of life instead.

— It’s a nice one, really! At least I don’t have to live with roommates.

He can be your roommate. No, not even like this. He can buy you a freaking house if you would want, just pick a place, preferably in Austria, and that would be easy. He would love to just provide for you, to get to live with someone as adorable – as in need of protection as you. He understands that being this delusional is off brand even to him and his wild fantasies, but he spends too much time hating his work lately, and he needs some outlets, breathing room to just drown himself in fantasies about a nice girl who can actually like him. Who can be his everything, a cure to fix him even though his therapist says such expectations from your partner are toxic and codependent.

He knows that he can’t say anything to you right now. If anything, you would dismiss any of his worries and just call him a psycho – would be right, probably, he doesn’t even know why he is so obsessed with your safety all of a sudden. He is only self-reflective enough to understand that he can’t act right now, no matter how much he would want to. He can only sigh and let the situation go, for now. He can always just show up at the place you work at. Totally not creepy at all, definitely, completely.

— Be safe, hase. This time is very dangerous for a girl like you.

— It’s…okay, really. You don’t have to worry about me, sir.

Oh, but he wants to.

Oh, but you want to run up the stairs and close the door behind you as fast as you possibly can. And maybe, just maybe, give him your number – definitely for consultation about the safety and how you can forfeit from breaking the curfew later in life.

He puts a hand on your shoulder, large fingers tracing over your thin shirt, and goosebumps that are running on your skin aren’t from just the cold weather. You feel ashamed for kinda liking the situation – you are creeped out by him, you are curious about him, and you kinda want him to do something else. But he squeezes the soft flesh of your shoulders, rolling a bit lower, to your back – and then lets go. You breath hitches as he takes a step back, clenching his hand as if fighting the urge to do something else.

— We’ll meet again.

You just nod, not sure if you want it or not. König makes a point to determine which apartment is yours based on the window placement and pay you a visit in his leave time.

#call of duty #cod x reader #cod x you #cod #konig mw2 #konig x you #konig cod #konig x reader #konig #reader insert #yandere cod #yandere x reader #yandere konig #yandere male

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honeypleasejustkillme · 1 year

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todays mood:

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #my life is going down the shithole #i’m gonna fucking off myself i stg

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idkwhatever580 · 11 days

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Her pt. 1

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Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader

Prompt: natasha meets y/n while undercover at a soup kitchen. What happens when hydra gets mixed in?

Warnings ⚠️: cursing, some angst, mentions of blood and gunshot, getting beat up? Tell me if there’s any more!!

Pronouns: she/her

A/N: guys this one is really long 😭 idk how many words tho. Idk how to find that out. Make sure to tell me if you like it and follow if you want to see my next post. (Idk when it will go up but I think I’m gonna do a part two)-> https://www.tumblr.com/idkwhatever580/749925326055948288/her-pt-2

Natasha’s Pov

Ugh. This is so stupid. I hate this room.

Fury thinks it is a good idea for us to stay in a stupid rinky dink motel to keep our identities safe.

I think it’s bullshit. The least he can give us is a days inn. But noooo we gotta stay in a one star motel that stinks and has horrible water pressure.

I look over at Clint and glare. He smirks at me and says

“Why the long face?”

I sneer and say

“You know exactly why. We’re stuck in this dump for another month!”

He chuckles and says

“We’ve already been here a month. What’s one more? I honestly think this place is growing on me”

I roll my eyes and say

“Of course you would end up liking this shithole.”

He comes over and nudges my shoulder and says

“Hey! Think about it this way. You get to see her for another month.”

I narrow my eyes at him when he puts on a cheeky grin.

I scoff and brush it off like normal. But Clint knows. He knows me. He knows that I like her.

Her.

I could think about her all day if I tried.

You see, Clint and I are on an undercover mission to investigate a possible hydra meeting place. We’ve been eating at this soup kitchen for weeks. Acting like we’re homeless so we can get info. Normally I would hate this job. And I do don’t get me wrong, but there’s this one volunteer. Her name is y/n.

Y/n.

Doesn’t that just roll right off your tongue? I wish she’d roll right on my tongue.

I shake my head to void myself of these thoughts. But it’s all in vain. She is so pretty.

Her smile is bright. Albeit her teeth might not be perfect but I think it makes her even better. She makes this whole thing bearable.

Her sweet face, and quirky remarks make me almost blush.

Almost.

Clint snaps in front of my face and I look up at him and he says

“Did you hear a single thing I said?”

I shake my head even though I want to say yes. Whatever he said could have been important.

He sighs and says

“Well. I’m going to take a shower. And try to see if the water actually heats up this time. If not. I’ll still be in there a while. I gotta take a shit. So if you need to use the bathroom I suggest you go now or forever hold your peace”

I chuckle a bit and shake my head and he grabs his towel and says

“Alright. Have fun thinking about y/n”

He goes off and I lie back on the bed. It creaks but I don’t care anymore. All I can think about is her.

I don’t know who she is. She seems well off. But she’s not mean. No. What mean person would willingly volunteer at a soup kitchen?

She is so tender. Always making sure all the homeless people get their fair share and if she thinks someone is looking a little skinny one day she’ll give them a bit more.

She always gives me a bit more. Then says she put too much. Clint thinks it’s just to see me a bit more. I think she’s just a bit tired by the time I get in line.

Her.

God. It’s only been a month and her beauty floods my senses. I remember the first time she hugged me.

She smelled like oranges and cupcakes.

She always stayed and sat with all the homeless people. Making sure to update herself on their lives.

Clint and I stay longer though. So she ends up talking to me. He kind of acts closed off. So that he can always be on guard.

He knows my senses are being let down by her. And he’s okay with it. I wish I wasn’t.

She talks of her life a lot. And I sometimes think I see her look at my lips but I shake it away and try to forget that telling myself I imagined it.

By the time I’m done day dreaming of her today, Clint comes out and says

“One. Do NOT go in there. And two. Let’s get ready to go”

I sigh and smile a bit. I know I’m gonna get to see her. I put on my ‘homeless attire’ and we leave the building.

We walk into the soup kitchen along with some of the others who are nice. I look around and my eyes zero in on y/n’s normal spot. I see her and she sees me at the same time

She smiles excitedly and waves at all of us but her eyes linger on me. I wave back shyly.

We go up and she portions our food while asking how everyone’s day has been.

When it’s my turn she portions my food and hands it to me and then says

“Oh! I think I gave you a bit too much. Here let me fix it.”

She brushes her hand across mine and for the first time. I blush.

I blush

Crap. I blushed.

Thankfully she doesn’t notice. But I know.

She hands it back to me and says “there you go sweets”

I smile shyly but I’m screaming inside. I thank y/n and scurry off to my undesignated designated spot. Clint sits by me and says

“Did you?”

I slap him in the arm and say

“Shut up Barton or I’ll kill you”

He giggles and hops away from me to eat his food.

After a while y/n comes up to me and says

“Hey girl! I finally finished the portions. Wanna talk?”

She always asks if I want to talk and I always nod my head. She sits down and start yapping while I smile and listen to it all. At some point she says

“My mom and I always had this deal. That if I ever sent a message to her with a lowercase x at the end, that means I am in danger. Thank goodness I never had to use it though.”

She quickly moves on to another topic just as fast as she got to the previous. I try to keep up with her.

As the soup kitchen closes for the day around 3 and we all leave. I leave with a smile on my face.

God she’s so pretty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up in bed and smile. I look over at my alarm clock and realize I have only about thirty minutes left to get ready for the soup kitchen.

I hop out of bed and Clint smirks and says

“You’ve never slept that long. You good?”

I roll my eyes and say

“Fuck off”

We quickly leave for the soup kitchen and I walk in and look for y/n. My eyebrows furrow when she’s not in her normal spot.

I go over to Calvin, the soup kitchen owner and say

“Hey. Is y/n here today?”

He shakes his head and says

“No. Surprisingly she sent me a text this morning saying she’s not gonna make it. Look”

Calvin turns his phone towards me and I read the message.

Y/n Y/l/n

Hey! I’m so sorry this is last minute but I can’t come in today. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow! x

My eyes widen and I say

“Oh. Okay. Thanks Calvin.”

I quickly walk to Clint who is eagerly waiting in line for his food. I whisper to him.

“We need to go. Y/n is in danger.”

He looks at me confused and says

“What? You heard Calvin. He said she said she was fine.”

I shake my head and only now does Clint realize I am being serious.

“Aww but I just got to the front of the line”

Clint whines and pouts and I say

“If I let you grab this you better get a to go box. And hurry”

In a stern voice. He nods his head and gets his food quickly.

We head back to the motel. I pull out my emergency bag and grab the laptop. I’m only supposed to go online in emergencies and I dictate this as one.

I explain to Clint what is wrong and he nods his head in agreement. Y/n has never missed a day of the soup kitchen. Even when she was so tired she looked dead.

I quickly power it on and start looking into her socials.

It’s a wonder I haven’t looked her up until now. It’s actually a wonder that I haven’t even heard of her. She’s popular.

She’s a famous artist. Actress and Singer/songwriter. Her name is Y/n y/m/n y/l/n. She’s 24. Only three years younger than me. She acts in some really popular movies. Of course I never have watched them. Or else I would have probably recognized her. She writes and sings a bit. But not much.

I start digging deeper. I look at her most recent posts and I see that she posted on Instagram about the same time that she sent the message to Calvin.

I read the post and it’s a cute picture of her. From yesterday. That’s the outfit she wore and she took a quick selfie in it.

She added a paragraph and I scour it intensely.

Hey guys! I know I don’t do this a lot but I whant to come on heere and thank you for your dedication tol me. I’m so excited to have hit fifty milliopn follmowers on Instageram. It’sh truly an hyonor to be lovedd by so rmany of youa. xoxo x

I see how she has a bunch of misspelled words and I put two and two together. The misspellings put together make out a sentence.

Help me hydra x

I look back at Clint and he says

“Damn. That was easy. She’s smart.”

All the comments are either fawning over her or bullying her for having so many misspellings but I know. She’s communicating to me. To anyone who notices. And I am the person right now.

Thankfully, the hydra people are fucking stupid. And I’m highly trained in coding. So I am able to track her phone easily.

I pinpoint it at the soup kitchen. And then Clint grabs my shoulder and says.

“The back room. Y/n always talked about Calvin chilling in a back room that she caught a glimpse of once. She said it looked scary.”

I widen my eyes and my shoulders tense up say

“You think they’re stupid enough to keep her there?”

He nods his head and I shake mine and say

“Well. There’s no harm in trying. And we might get our mission done faster if we’re right.”

I quickly put on my suit as Clint puts his on in the bathroom. He walks up with his bow and arrow at the ready and he says.

“You ready?”

I nod my head stiffly and we hop in the run down car that we are only allowed to use in emergencies. Once again we both dictate this an emergency.

Clint drives as I map out a plan outloud.

“Okay. So we’re gonna split up. You go in the front. I’ll go in the back. See what we can find. I know our mission is to get intel but if y/n doesn’t make it out alive I’m gonna burn the whole city down.”

Clint chuckles a bit with his signature smile on and I raise my eyebrow and say

“What?”

He shakes his head and says,

“Well, it’s just- you really like this girl huh? I mean burning the city down is a pretty big thing to do. And that’s kind of odd for you. I didn’t think you’d be the type.”

I scoff and cross my arms and say

“We need to focus on the mission. And not the fact that I may or may not be down bad.”

He chuckles once more and then pulls into a spot away from the soup kitchen.

I run to the back and Clint runs to the front once we solidify our plan and then we both easily break in. The soup kitchen is usually open in case there is a homeless person who desperately needs shelter. Like if there’s a storm or something. Thankfully though Clint tells me through comms that there’s no one inside.

“I’m in”

I say when I pick the lock. I frown when I realize that this is gonna be an easy feat. I know not to let my guard down. Just in case.

I hear a crackle when the comms come on and Clint says,

“Hey nat… you’re gonna want to see this”

I put my finger on my earpiece and say,

“Did you find y/n?”

“No, but I found the intel we were definitely looking for. And a lot more.”

I frown and say,

“Okay put it on a drive then come find me. I’m in the west wing. Call a quinjet to pick us up.”

——————————————————————————

Nobody’s pov

Clint downloads the files to a usb drive and he kind of freezes for a moment as he sees the files of horrifying victims flow into it. There’s footsteps headed his way and he pulls out his arrows and prepares to shoot someone.

One set of footsteps quickly becomes about four and something he can quite pin he takes a breath prepared to fight.

The doors open so fast he doesn’t even have time to blink before he is shooting his arrows. He quickly downs four of them but he knows there’s a fifth.

He slowly looks around the area they came in and moves around the desk only to find a shaking ball of a human. He squats down and says

“Y/n?”

So softly she might not have heard it. She snaps her head up and says

“Cliff?”

She sniffles when she says his code name and he holds his hand out for her and says.

“It’s Clint. I know this is confusing and scary but we’ve got to find Natasha and get you out of here before anything else happens okay?”

She nods her head and says

“Is Natalie Natasha?”

Clint nods his head and presses his earpiece to tell Natasha that they’re done.

Natasha huffs and says

“Wow you just have to take all the credit huh?”

Clint giggles a bit and then grabs the full usb drive and starts walking out carefully. He looks back at y/n and says

“Are you coming or not?”

She is shaking and says,

“Uh. I- I think I can’t walk”

Clint finally realizes that she has a bullet in her thigh and it’s bleeding a bit but thankfully not enough to kill her. At least for now. He sighs and says,

“Alright. I’m gonna pick you up and we’re gonna fly to New York for a bit to get you healed.”

She nods her head and we head off.

Once Clint gets everyone on the quinjet y/n passes out.

“Fuck”

——————————————————————————

Y/n’s pov

I wake up in a hospital bed. I open my eyes a bit just to close them immediately. You’d think that they would turn the lights down or something.

I groan a bit and someone is at my side. I don’t even want to see who it is. I just want to get back to my home.

Which is what got me into this situation in the first place.

——————————————————————————

(Kind of flashback?)

I walked out of the soup kitchen. Everyone had left and I locked the door. I decided to walk there today so I started my trek back home. And then I realized I left my phone. So I went back and unlocked the door.

Calvin was in there. I assume he is just restocking or something and I say hi and asked if he has seen my phone.

He dangles it in front of my face and then puts a gun to my head.

Shit

He says I need to make a text to send to him so that nobody from the soup kitchen worries about me and then make a post so that my fans don’t think anything of my absence.

At this point. I probably won’t be making it out.

Yes I’m famous. And yes I have a lot of caring fans.

But nobody knows me well enough to even think of me. And by the time someone does. I’ll probably be dead.

He walks me to the back room that I’ve only seen once. Damn. I knew this was sketch.

His grip on my hands is so tight.

I didn’t even realize I have tears streaming down my face until he says

“Quit your whimpering. If you get us caught you’re dead”

I look up at him and say

“Us? There’s more?”

He scoffs and says

“Of course there’s more of us. Hydra doesn’t do loners. We’re not dumb enough. Now shut up or I’ll kill you and everyone else you’ve ever loved. Including your little Natalie”

That shut me up real quick.

Fuck my life.

He throws me in a cell and beats me up. I have so many cuts and bruises already.

He left me about an hour ago and now I’m just laying here on the concrete. By my calculations the soup kitchen will open in about 8 hours. Hopefully Natalie notices I’m gone.

She notices everything.

I know she’s homeless and I’m not but part of me wants to take her with me. Give her a new life.

Make her mine.

But she doesn’t like me like that. And that wouldn’t be fair to the other homeless people who have been here even longer.

Gran says I’m head over heels and I should court her. But she’s also a bit crazy.

But then again pops says she likes me back. And although pops is like never wrong, there’s always a first time for everything. I’m not so sure though.

God how am I thinking of her at a time like this? I’m actually daydreaming about a silly little (not so little) crush of mine while my life is at stake. Well, I have nothing else to do. So thinking about her it is.

Her

She’s so beautiful. Even when she has dirt all over her and her clothes look like they need more than just a little stitching and washing.

Natalie

It’s a pretty name but it honestly doesn’t fit her quite right. I just don’t know what other name would though.

Meh. I’m probably just being weird.

By the time I am finished thinking about her I fall asleep and I wake up and calculate it is already morning. Thank god. My calculations are confirmed when one of the guards brought me food for some reason. I ask him

“What time is it?”

He says,

“I’m not supposed to talk to you but it’s 10:46 am”

I nod my head and thank him.

I scarf the food down so I can hopefully get as much energy before they take it away from me. Maybe I’ll be able to stay alive longer.

After I’m finished Calvin walks in and says

“What do you know about Natalie?”

I frown and say

“Why?”

“You’re very close to her. And i want info on her. If you tell me everything you know I’ll let you go”

I consider my options. But clearly they want her info for something. I don’t want her to be in danger. She’s strong yes. But she’s also homeless. Nobody to care for her. And I don’t want her to die on my watch. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if one of my favorite people died because of me. Hoe selfish would that be.

So I say the bare minimum.

“I don’t actually know much about her. I usually do all the talking.”

He kicks me. Ouch.

“I think her favorite color is red. And her favorite food is whatever I cook. At least that’s what she says.”

Another kick. Ow.

Calvin gets a bit mad and says.

“The soup kitchen is about to open. I’m gonna go get the food prepared and you’re going to think about every little thing she’s ever told you. And about that cliff dude too.”

I glare at him and say

“He never talks. You think I know anything? I’m just a stupid girl.”

He sneers and says

“If you don’t come up with anything good you better kiss your little girlfriend goodbye.”

I frown and curl into a ball as he leaves.

I mumble

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

What can I find that will seem plausible that isn’t true about her.

——————————————————————————

Time jump to after soup kitchen closes and Calvin comes back.

“Tell me everything you know bitch”

I spit at him and say

“I don’t know anything about them”

He gets really angry at that and he kicks me in the head.

I’m shaking really bad already. That’s gonna hurt way worse later. If I make it to later.

After more and more berating he finally has enough and pulls out a gun. I cry and sob and say

“Pl- please no. Calvin you’re better than this! It’s okay I won’t tell anyone! I promise just let me go. Please”

I beg but he doesn’t give in. He points the gun at me and shoots.

It hits me in my thigh and I scream. I scream and I scream and he says

“Shut up bitch. Nobody can hear you. They won’t hear you when you scream.”

I cry but I quiet down. Clearly there’s no point in using my voice. I’m just gonna die anyways.

Suddenly there’s a guard running to Calvin and he whispers something to him. Calvin looks at me and says

“Get up bitch. You’re coming with us”

Three more guards come and pick me up and start marching me away from whatever it is they’re scared of. They open a door and then I fall on the ground. They dropped me for some reason but I don’t care. I curl up into a ball and then a soft voice calls my name.

I look up and say

“Cliff?”

——————————————————————————

And that’s how I ended up here.

I’m in a hospital bed. Somewhere. Probably safe.

I finally open my eyes and see Natalie. Well. Natasha.

That name fits her better. Now I know why I felt that way. She’s still so pretty.

But she’s in a black catsuit. It shows off her curves. I look away because I don’t want to objectify her or anything.

She smiles and says

“You’re awake”

I can tell that she wants to say something else but doesn’t know if she can.

I look at her and say.

“Yeah. What happened?”

“Well. You obviously know you were kidnapped by hydra.”

I nod my head and don’t let her finish. I’m clearly hurt when I say

“Why did you lie to me?”

She sighs and says.

“I’m sorry. You have every right to be mad at me. I lied because I am an avenger. We’re in New York City at the avengers tower. I can take you home as soon as you’re cleared. But for now I’m going to explain okay?”

I nod my head and let her speak.

“Since I am an avenger and a highly ranked spy, I sometimes have to go on missions undercover. My name is Natasha romanoff. My alias’ are Natalie rushman, black widow and others. I was recently undercover with my friend and coworker Clint Barton. His alias’ are cliff barren and Hawkeye.”

She pauses and then continues

“We were looking to find intel. We had a hint that hydra, the people that took you, were there. Thankfully you were able to send a message out before they took you. They’re dumb. So I tracked you the second I knew you were in danger.”

I frown and say

“So you lied about not knowing who I was?”

She shook her head and says

“I only found out who you were after you sent that message. Because I looked you up on my emergency computer. So no. I didn’t lie about that. Y/n you are very brave and strong. Most people wouldn’t have made it out of there. Most people didn’t.”

I nod my head and say

“So. How long have I been out?”

“About a day and a half. Clint and I went to the soup kitchen the past two days to make sure everyone was okay. It’s under new management already. She’s nice. Her name is Mary. We cleared out hydra and everything and everyone at the soup kitchen is okay.”

I nod my head and say

“That’s good.”

I frown and say

“What now?”

She sighs and sits down and says

“Well. You have a few options after you’re cleared. Continue on with life and forget all about us. Or, we can create a new safe soup kitchen and you can start creating houses for the homeless. Give them new opportunities. Get some of them into rehab. Follow your dream. Fully paid of course, courtesy of Tony Stark and SHEILD considering you helped us get one of the biggest bouts of information in a very short amount of time.”

My eyes light up and I say

“Wait… you… you listened to me when I was talking?”

Natasha nods her head and says

“I don’t know if you noticed but I notice everything. When you talked about your dreams of retiring as an actress to help the needy, it was so moving. It’s a good dream. And I want to help you achieve it.”

I sit up carefully and say

“I’m so excited I could just kiss you!”

I realize what I said and then say

“Oh shit. I didn’t- I don’t- I didn’t mean that”

Natasha says

“Really? Because I would have done it if you did mean it.”

I widen my eyes and point at her a little dumbfounded and say

“You- you wanna- I-l”

She smirks and walks up to my hospital bed and leans into me. She stops just before to silently ask permission and I nod my head.

She presses her lips softly into mine and they’re softer than clouds. She pulls away softly and I giggle like a school girl and say

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

Natasha raises her eyebrow and says

“Even when I was covered in dirt and smelled like shit?”

I shrug my shoulders and say

“I think it adds to your charm. You’re a cutie”

We hear a chuckle from the doorway and Clint walks in. He smirks and says

“I don’t think anyone has ever called Natasha romanoff a cutie and made it out alive.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and says

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nobody called me anything”

I giggle and say.

“Natasha?”

She immediately looks at me and I say

“Do you think I can really do that homeless shelter?”

She nods her head and says

“I know you can.”

I smile realizing a whole new chapter of my life is about to start. And it’s gonna be great.

All because of her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: whew!! Damn that was long. I hope y’all liked it!!! Please tell me if there are any warnings I missed. I think I’m gonna do a part two of the next chapter in y/n’s life. I really just write whatever I’m thinking about lol. My anons are in fact open. I don’t have too many requirements. But expect to have a happy ending lol I’m so sappy 🤷‍♀️🩷

#avengers #fanfic #marvel #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader

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t0rturedangel · 3 months

Text

╭ . . . 𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕 ੭

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄, 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ; ♰ ৎ﹕𝘦𝘹𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘶𝘮

TUMBLR DECIDED TO FUCK ME SO HARD BC IT CRASHED AND I LOST ALL OF MY ORIGNAL WORK. AUGHRRRRRRRR I'M GOING TO SCREAM SO HARD.

but here is scene two as promised my lovlies, I'm sorry that it's short

➷ ＰＲＥＶＩＯＵＳＳＣＥＮＥ | ＮＥＸＴＳＣＥＮＥ

With her fall,

the cherubim went mad,

with sorrow and hate

she now sat on jagged rocks

You glared at the sky, or whatever it was above you- the bottom side of heaven? whatever it was, this place was not the earth the angels created nor was it the hell your Lucifer was dammed to but there is one thing for sure- you fucking hated this shithole. There was no life here (no life that was thriving, all the nature that could have been here is now reduced to rotten carcasses of what they used to be), just barren land with not a single soul in sight- besides yours of course though your soul was practically torn to shreds.

For endless days of your damned punishment you'd scream at the top of your lungs, begging heaven for it's forgiveness, to be let back in- making empty promises of never betraying them again. You'd sob into your hands when your voice finally gave up, your tears felt unusually acidic and whenever you did cry a weird feeling over came your senses, almost as if you had to get your hands on whatever moved- just as long as it didn't watch you. Eventually, when your crying sessions would end, you'd make an attempt to fly to heaven though their skies, those clouds you'd always rest on, the clouds you and Lucifer would fly through in utter glee were now so far to reach, no matter how fast and strong you flew. For hours, you'd manage to make your wings fly and then- they'd give up, your feathers simply gave up just as much as you did then once again you'd plunge down into the mossy yet rocky ground.

˓˓ HEAVEN! ʾʾ you screamed out as you fell ˓˓ HEAVEN FORGIVE ME! I BEG YOU! ʾʾ though as always your words were never heard, you were sure they could hear you- at least even some of them, perhaps St. Peter?... yeah you heard of him, you heard of his arrival- from who or where you cannot remember but you knew he was now by the gates of heaven allowing good moral souls to enter- GOD FUCKING DAMN IT YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH THEM! those shitbags dont care about anyone but them, they're selfish little fucks who only want to see the good- never the bad! Cant they open their fucking eyes to see that they aren't perfect?!

Sharp rocks dug into your back as you landed on them for the umpteenth time for that day, or week, or month- you didn't know any more, time was a concept you lost the knowledge to a while go, as much as other things. Your old social behavior was sure to have faltered, gone wrong, your mind had probably twisted into something horrific. That Cherub that once thrived is now dead, in her wake a new angel- a weeper angel now takes her place.

Now with heaven's ignorance and silence

the weeper lost hope for salvation,

and then she turned to the ground beneath her feet

Out of sheer anger of the lack of reply from the heavenly skies, you kicked yet another rock out of your way- while flying from where it once stood the rock broke into several pieces. It's been so long. So long of you begging and pleading with heaven for one more chance and they have done nothing but ignore you, you'd tried so many times to reach out to them you flew for hours- screamed for days- wept so loud you were sure all three worlds could hear you crystal clear. ˓˓ GOD DAMNIT ʾʾ kicking more things you looked above you ˓˓ CAELO TE DAMNO! TE ANGELOS PATHETICUS OMNES ʾʾ 〔 DAMN YOU HEAVEN! DAMN ALL YOU PATHETIC ANGELS 〕 if heaven will not answer your calls, then you'll turn to hell. While yes, you saw Heaven as a choice first it was mainly because you could not bare to see Lucifer again, after you failed to keep his place in heaven he would surely hate you, he's want you to suffer but seeing as even heaven will not take you- Hell was your only chance of escapism, but how would you get there? Would you be able to stomp onto the ground with such power that the ground would crack and open up?

Perhaps not, after all what if you end up on the earth's land- with humans, eugh, the thought of them makes your stomach twist, full of virtue or full of vice they were disgusting mortals- your presence would send them into insanity, they'd all go mad and kill one another and plus they were dirty, vile creatures- you felt that if you even saw one, they'd end up dead by your hands. Something was wrong with you, you never thought that way before. It was this isolation that was breaking your mind, you needed to get out and fast.

again, but how? There was no way you were willing to break the ground, and the only other way to even get there was through the extermination- yes this was another thing you were aware of, after all Angels needed to pass through your current home to get to hell, so maybe just maybe while they're flying through the portal you'd be able to sneak in too. There was only one problem, you dont know where the portal appears, it never appears in the same place and whenever it does appear you're too far away.

But, it was your only chance and you had to take it, or else you'd go truly mad, turn into a beast and kill anyone and anything you set your glossed over eyes on. Now the waiting game begins, though it wont take long at all- the last extermination was 350 days ago, you counted. Only 15 days left until you could be free from this torture.

Forget heaven, forget it all- now hell is your new destination.

ＷＡＩＴＦＯＲＭＥＨＥＬＬ

𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 ⠆(want to be reminded when I post a new chapter? Lmk!) ⸺ @reverse-soe @jellibean2018 @aliazy @sugarrush-blush @littledolly2345 @immahuman @marsilis @c0sm1cstqrsx @redqueeen99 @persephosposts

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rowretro · 1 month

Note

If your requests are open, can I get hard yandere Jake or Ni-Ki where they punish reader for escaping and staying with one of their friends?

𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌…

✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, mentions of blood, manipulation(?), shirtless-ish riki, somewhat gore, mentions of sex

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

"Oh my sweet little y/n... I knew you were stupid but for you to be this stupid?!..." Riki tutted, a mocking pout on his lips, his shirt drenched with the blood of someone you called a friend. He barely knew you, yet he befriended you just because he knew you were in the danger of Riki. Your stupid self just had to believe Riki wouldn't know that the motherfucker would be keeping you in his house.

He was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, words can not explain how bad of a decision she made. Riki wasn't too into murdering people or ripping them apart, but for her? god a little blood on his hands was nothing let alone stabbing a dagger with her name encrypted into this so called friend of hers? heck he could even leave the body out because not even a family member was there to want him.

"Oh well... he lived a miserable life anyway.... this was your fault y/n. You know better than to trust a strangers word over mine. Fuck the fact you trusted another man. went into his house. wore his shirt. AND FUCKING LEFT ME?!" He finally yelled causing her to flinch, he stabbed him crazily as you screamed for him to stop, tears streaming down her cheeks. "STOP CRYING FOR HIM!" he screamed, slapping her painfully on her cheek.

he knelt down before her dark eyes, peircing into her as he groaned, he threw off his shirt "Mother fucker got his filthy blood all over my comfortable t-shirt. The one you should be wearing right now." he sharply said. The man was pissed. He slapped her yet again, ripping off the T-shirt she wore as she carried her and dropped her in the bathtub.

He didn't care that it was hurting her, he turned the tap on as he applied soap to the sponge and aggressively rubbed on her skin. "I know you wouldn't sleep with him. But you still hugged him. You still went in his house and sat on his rubbish sofa. Fuck imagine all the germs in that shithole you went to." He spat as he chucked the sponge at her and yanked her hair. "Clean yourself up and go to bed." He simply said before leaving the restroom.

"Oh no... I hurt my poor y/n oh sweetie... You need to know what you did is awful... you need to feel the pain I did... but I won't make it hurt as much as you hurt me because I love you... you can tell me anything.... did you have sex with this fucker?! is that why you're wearing his ugly shirt?!!!" Riki asked, as She stared in horror, and disgust. Riki chuckled

That very night, was the first time Riki hurt her, though it hurt him more to hurt her. He stepped out of the shower, smiling as he saw Y/n sitting on his bed, wearing his sweater, how it fell just off of her shoulder, her tears gone as she reached out to hug him, she just needed comfort... and she accepted her fate.

"So cute, I know you won't do something like that with some low life... awww my sweet innocent y/nie, so vulnerable and gullible, sweetheart, he's a pervert, he lied to you, he did this so he can use your precious body. You know I've never done and never will do that you know why? because I love you..." Riki explained as he cradled her in his arms.

He palnted soft kisses on her face "Oh my poor darling y/n... don't ever leave me... I can't live without you!" He said as Y/n placed a soft kiss on his plump lips, giving into his toxic love. She can't help it though... isn't it a good thing that he'd even kill for her?.... so many men have only hurt her, humiliated her or wanted to hook up with her but Riki... Riki loves her...

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

199 notes · View notes

the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 8 months

Text

#374

“Hey! Midnight bathroom run too? Yeah. I knew I shouldn’t have let my wife’s mother book this tiny inn in the middle of nowhere Germany for my honeymoon. I live in a three-bedroom apartment in Manhattan two blocks from Central Park, and now I have to share a toilet. I would gladly pay for a suite at a five-star hotel, but my wife likes it. Whoever came up with “Happy wife happy life” should be shot. "This jet lag sucks. This is my second night here in Europe, and I haven’t shaken it. How about you?... You’re here a week? Wow. It looks like we will be competing for the toilet for a number of days. It’s us and him in there. That Argentinian has been in there for a bit. I see the toothbrush in your hand; when he comes out, you can go ahead of me, as long as you are fast; I’m going to be spending some time in there. It seems that the only way I can get to sleep is to enjoy my left hand….

“I see you smiling. You know what I’m talking about…. Don’t be shy about it. All guys do it.

“And the best part is as I get close, I turn on the bidet and let the warm water run across my shithole. It’s not quite like a tongue diving in deep. I haven’t had my ass eaten out in years….

“…You a faggot?... Your silence makes me wonder that you might be, but your dick tenting in your robe tells me everything. Open your robe and let me see….

“Just as I thought. You want help me go to sleep? Good. Let’s go in your room. You can brush your teeth afterwards and wash away the taste of my shithole….

“Now we are behind closed doors, you can lose the robe…. Damn you are a small fag. How tall are you?... I have a foot on you; I’m 6’5”. How much do you weigh?... I’m 290, twice your weight. You are the size of the faggots I used to use back in grad school at Columbia. I like them small. I hope you like to be manhandled. Don’t care if you don’t.

“Get on your knees fag. Go on reach in. Take my cock out. Even soft, I’m bigger than your tiny four-inch pecker. Hard, I more than double you.

“It’s clear that there is only one man in this room, and it ain’t you. There is only one cock in this room; yours is to be ignored. You got that?... Fag, you got that?...

“That’s ‘Yes Sir.’ I saw the hunger on your face in the hall when I mentioned that I loved a tongue in my shithole. I’ve noticed the few times you’ve been checking me out as our paths crossed. It’s the same hunger I saw on my bitch boys I used on the side when I was in grad school. They saw a big man with a big dick, and they did whatever I wanted. I see that hunger on your face now, and I’m expecting the same from you.

“You drink piss…. That wasn’t a question. Open your toilet mouth…. Take my head in. Fuck yeah. Relax and start swallowing…. Ahh, that feels so good. You are a natural.

“Is your cunt cleaned out? Probably not. If you can handle my cock in your throat, I’ll be back tomorrow night to sample that cunt. Here sit on the floor with your head against the wall.

“I want to tell you how to get me to cum. Like I said, I was going to use the bidet to not only to clean my shithole but to make my hole feel good. Your tongue is taking over that responsibility.

“I haven’t had a shower since this morning, and I’ve been out all day in the sun. My crack is going to reek. I know you won’t mind.

“Place a hand on each of my thighs. Take a deep breath. Now pay attention. Your tongue needs to be inside my shithole pretty much all the time…. Like that. Fuck yeah. Don’t be alarmed if I fart on your faggot face. It’s bound to happen.

“Damn! Fuck! Your tongue is digging deep. Faggot you know how to eat a man’s shithole. Oh man. I’m getting close. But I need to sample that throat.

“Fuck. Hold that faggot head against the wall and open up that throat, cause I’m going right down to your stomach, all nine inches to the root.

“Take it faggot! Take it! I don’t care if you gag, gasp, or even puke all over me, you are fucking taking it. Open up that throat, dedicate that airway to me. Oh fuck. That’s it faggot.

“When I’m ready to cum, it’s with your tongue in my shithole, and I want you jacking me off. And I’m getting close. Oh yeah! I’m going to turn around real fast. So close. Hell the fuck yeah. Get that tongue ready. Ready? Now!

“…Spread my cheeks and get that tongue inside me and start fucking with it. Now reach under me and jack me off. Fuck boy. I’m going to cum. Keep doing what you are doing. Urg! Uh! Uh! Fuck! Fuck yeah!

“Oh man. No one told you to stop. Keep tongue fucking and jacking me. Milk the last drops out and let them fall.

“Faggot you did good. I’m want to do this every night…. Ok… Ok… You can stop.

“Whew boy. Hand me my underwear. And your pillow too. The pillow is to wipe up your throat slime and remaining cum drops from my dick. The other side is to wipe my ass. When you go to sleep, you can smell me.

“Whew, that was a huge load on the floor. Start licking…. Don’t give me that look again, or I will smack you again. That load puddled on your floor should be gold to you. Lap it up or suck it up, I don’t care.

“Hell, you can even jack off while doing that, once I’m gone. I don’t care.

“You want me to come back tomorrow night?... Good, then do as you are told. Atta boy! Do you have any plans for tomorrow during the day?... You can go to a museum another day.

“You’re doing good boy. While you continue to lick my load, pay attention to what I have to say. In the morning, my wife and I are heading to some castle. Before we leave, I am going to slip an envelope under the door. It’ll have €1500. We are about an hour and a half from Berlin. I want you to go there, find one of the sex shops. I want you to purchase a bunch of items.

“First, I want a rimseat. You know how to eat my shithole, and you will do it again. Find a chastity cage and have them put it on you. Have them put the key in the same envelope and seal it. Have them write their store’s name across the back of it. I want that cage to be tight and most importantly, I want it to prevent an erection, not one that pushes the cage forward should that tiny thing start to grow. Ideally I don’t want to see any bump from your tiny pecker. You got that? I want a collar, ankle cuffs, and wrist cuffs. Buy about 10 meters of rope and some padlocks. Get lube. And I don’t know how you are going to do this but get something to clean you out. And see if they sell teeth guards; I felt some teeth when I was in your throat.

“At midnight, keep your door unlocked. Be wearing the collar and the cuffs. And get a good hood and wear it. Leather can be expensive. I’ll bump that up to €2000 in the envelope. If there’s money left, get me a flogger.

“You got all that?... Good boy.

“Where’s your phone? Here it is. Good an iPhone. Look up. Good it unlocked. Get back to the floor. I’m putting my side cell number in here. I am listing myself as ‘SIR’. I want you to text me when you buy each item. And have the store worker take pics of you being fitted for the cage and anything else they care to. And if they want to use you, you will let them.

“I’m going to add you to my find my iPhone app, so I can track where you are. So I know what text you are, what’s your area code or country code?... 215?... Philadelphia?... Oh boy. My firm has me in Philly one week a month and a weekend in between. I have an apartment near Rittenhouse square. You perform well here, and I will be taking you on permanently.

“Keep licking boy. Don’t get up until every drop is in your belly. I’ll see you tomorrow. I need to get back to my wife.”

585 notes · View notes

rokomoi · 2 months

Text

•.*“lovers from the past”*.•

———————————————————

pairing: heeseung x reader x sunghoon.

synopsis: after graduating college and finally being independent after that incident and getting a job at the FBI, life was going great but he came back to haunt you, taunt your skills as a detective.

word count:12k(yikes💀)

disclaimer: THIS IS ALL FICTION!. english isn’t my first language, apologies in advance for any grammatical mistakes and errors. this is not proofread, i pulled words out of my ass and put them together. reader will be using female pronouns and will be described as one but skin colour will not be mentioned.

trigger warnings: murder, blood, guns, drugs, a lot of death, violence, manipulation, heeseung himself should be enough as a warning, sunghoon cuz he can’t take his job seriously and a whole a lot of other nasty stuff that i forgot to include (PLEASE proceed with caution).

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1993, end of February in Seoul, South Korea.

“I swear to god, Heseeung. Stop shoving your camera in my face!” Sunghoon whined loudly. Waving his hand around to try and block the camera that was currently being held by Heeseung as he ignored his pleas and continued to shove it closer to his face. Heesubg laughed in his face as Sunghoon whined and tugged on my sleeves to protest against Heeseung. “Your little girlfriend won't do anything, man up Sunghoon” Heeseung teased at him, raising his eyebrows cockingly at a now very grumpy Sunghoon, my eyes went back and forth between the two of them, feeling the tension between them rise as I slotted myself between their two bodies. “That's enough you two, acting like two toddlers. You can record sometime later for the memories.” I pointed a finger at Heeseung, and he could only nod with a smile on his face as he turned his camera off and put it away in his bag. “This feels surreal, finally graduating from that shithole.” Sunghoon yawned as he slung his arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to his body as he planted a kiss on my head, making me giggle out in response as I glared at Heeseung who fake gagged as he side-eyed us, “Get a room you two lovebirds…disgusting.” He grumbled out, making Sunghoon stick out his tongue at him and Heeseung could only return it with a middle finger as we walked beside the pavement on the busy roads and streets of Seoul as petals of cherry blossoms fell down and made the amber sunset seem more majestic. Before soon meeting up with the others at a nearby park to hang out one last time as seniors before everyone parts their own ways. Whilst there, while the sky had already darkened and the stars started to shine, Heeseung had been kind enough to offer to get some snacks and drinks from the corner store nearby as we all cheered at his sweet gesture and he strolled off into the dimly lit park. A few moments later, Heeseung returned back with a bunch of bags filled with snacks in his hand but there was something off about him, he kept grumbling about how some random old man at the store kept treating him wrongly and yelling at him for even breathing near him, he was fuming as he grumbling about him, Sunghoon not doing any better as he chimed in and agreed with the said old man and taking his side at how he would do the same if he was his age toward Heeseung. I eyed Heeseung from the corner of my eyes, watching how his jaw clenched and how his eyes narrowed at Sunghoon and how his knuckles turned white from how hard he was gripping the Coke can in his hand, he fake laughed at Sunghoon’s joke which honestly made me feel uncomfortable under his sudden change of aura as his eyes twitched in anger and lowered his gaze down. He mumbled a sentence under his breath that made my eyes almost pop out of their sockets as I turned to look at him with a shocked expression, my breathing started to get faster the more his words echoed in the back of my head.

“I'll kill him or anyone who has done me wrong when I grow up…”

———————————————————

2001, November 15 on a very freezing night.

Heeseung had a very bright future ahead of him, one that everyone dreamed of during their childhoods, teens and even some elders. He had a high-paying job, the looks to woo a girl in just a matter of seconds, the intelligence that everyone wanted and envied, and most importantly the mannerisms of a very polite gentleman that made every elder wished he was their sons, and every girl wished they would marry such a gentleman like him. But..it was all wrong. And you could ask me about him. I still remember that one night, which still to this day makes a cold shiver run through my spine and my chest tighten so tightly that it immediately triggers a breakdown for me.

An audible sigh left my dry lips, finishing the last bit of the e-mail I was typing away in front of me, quickly hitting send as I finished the last word. Making me sigh yet again, pulling my protection glasses off of my face as I brought my hands up to rub at my dry as a desert eyes. I leaned my aching back against into the softness of the office chair, resting my head on the neck pillow that Jay got me on the first day of my job because “you would need it after staring all day at that computer, and dealing with Sunghoon.”. and of course, still as a trainee in a major job like the FBI was puzzled so much as I took the gift from his hands, I did not understand what he meant that day but I understood what he meant after being here for about two years by now. I snickered to myself quietly as the memory of that day played in my head, a fond grin formed on my lips but it quickly dropped as I fluttered my eyes open and glanced around my messy desk, a bunch of mugs half of them still filled with now cold coffee and some empty, paperwork, folders and pens all scattered around and most importantly the small picture frame of my parents and me in the corner. My breath started to get shaky now the more I stared at them, how much happier we looked during that day and it definitely affected me. I bit down on my lower lips, flinching a bit as a hand came and pushed the photo frame down, my eyebrows were knitted together as I raised my head up to stare at a very tired and heavy eye-bagged Nicholas, a mug of his millionth coffee of the day in his hand with his lab goat and one glove still on his other hand.

“don’t want you staring at them and crying like a crybaby, m’kay?.” He simply uttered out. taking a small sip of his coffee before he wished me a good day and went away to stride back to the forensics team lab before Jake, Lee know and Euijoo somehow manage to fuck up evidence and destroy all the progress in the case. I huffed and puffed, staring one last time at the now-laid flat picture frame. shaking my head as I raised myself up, taking my ID from my messy table and holding it in my hands as I went about my way towards the room where everyone could possibly gather around if they found something new with the cases. Before I could even slide the glass door open, I could already hear the loud bantering that was happening inside, I could only recognize one voice among all the others, and it was Sunghoon’s.

“are y’all playing or doing your fucking jobs?!” I grumbled loudly as I slid the door open harshly. making everyone in the room go mute except for Sunghoon who kept on clinging to a very disgusted and disturbed ni-ki. all heads turned my direction, some hanging their heads low as they mumbled out apologies, I sighed out as my heels clicked against the marble flooring, striding my way towards Sunghoon and grabbing him by the back of his jacket and pulling him off of poor Ni-ki. ni-ki beamed a smile at me as he bowed his head, thanking me as I returned that smile to him, my nose scrunched up in grimace as I took in a whiff of the prominent alcohol smell on Sunghoon’s clothing. I turned my head towards the direction of the boys in the room, all sitting around the big round table, parting my mouth to speak up but Yudai already spoke before me.

“don’t worry, we already gave him a sleeping pill.” He exclaimed. shrugging his shoulders at me then going back to drinking his coffee like nothing was happening in front of him, I turned my head towards Sunghoon again, who was now all heavy eye-lided and who could easily pass off as a zombie. I tsked at him, letting go of his clothes as he crashed down onto the leather couch in front of him, letting his drunken state dive deep into slumber. I took my usual seat between Jay and Jungwon, making myself comfortable before speaking up.

“any new clues? cases? crimes? just anything..” I trailed off. feeling the fatigue get to me the more I sat and glanced around the table, Jay hummed beside me as his hands flipped through the pages of the folders in front of him. “well, we’ve got a new guy on our hands. a guy who sticks antlers into his victim's heads after killing them.” Jay trailed off, I turned my head to the side to stare at him, puzzlement reading off of my facial expression as I stared at his side profile, trying to figure out if he was just joking or not. “wouldn’t that make him a hunter then? a deer hunter?” Sunoo asked from the other side of the table, raising his pretty face up from the computer he was writing on as he looked around the room, his face going blank as everyone stared at him dumbfounded. “why?..I’m just stating the facts!” He grumbled out. giving us his signature eye roll before he packed up his things and went out of the room, ni-ki followed him close by as he trailed behind him like a dog as they probably went back to the cafeteria to eat or just went back to their offices to work on getting more evidence and hacking into electronics.

Jay slammed his hands on the table, starting to pick up his folders and everything that belonged to him, he turned his head towards me. “I’m gonna go check out the crime scene, wanna join me?” He asked. I nodded my head slowly at him before getting up, wishing everyone a good day before exiting out of the room with him. we could only walk away from the room about a meter or two before Jay turned around because he started to hear groaning from behind him. He let out a very loud frustrated sound as he rubbed at his temples, I stared at him with frowned eyebrows, cranking my head back to see what made him so distressed, honestly it made me stressed as well. “you fuckers..stop leaving me alone and going on duties without me.” A very drunken Sunghoon slurred out in his drowsy voice, as he slumped his tall frame towards us whilst whining about how nauseous he felt. “this is gonna be my worst nightmare.” Jay murmured out. as Sunghoon latched his bigger body onto me, making me whine about how hard his fingernails were digging into my skin as Jay just watched us with an already burnout look on his face.

———————————————————

during the crime scene, somewhere deep in the suicide forest of Tokyo.

Jay dipped under the yellow warning tapes scattered around the crime scene. quickly bowing to his superiors as he went to put on his gloves to look and poke around the scene. Sunghoon hummed behind me as he looked around the scene in front of him with heavy eyes, I sighed as I turned my head back to look at him, almost feeling pity for him as I watched him even struggle with the simplest task of putting on gloves, I finished putting my ones on as I walked over to towards him, taking the situation into my own hands as I helped him with it. “mhm..thank you, pretty girl”. He uttered out pretty drunkenly. giggling to himself as he skipped his way over next to Jay before quickly following him behind. I placed a hand over my nose as it was immediately struck with the strong metallic smell of blood. My eyes widened a bit in shock as I glanced at the victim in front of me, their torso all sliced open and their ribs sticking out of it as they were shoved down onto some bigger antlers, the antlers piercing through their skin and body as it made me feel even more sick than I already was. Just like as Jay said, antlers were stuck into their heads, making them appear as ‘deers’.

“..this is an artistic way to mutate a person,” Sunghoon murmured next to me. Turning my head to glance up at him as he was carefully observing the scene in front of him with his thick eyebrows knitted and his lips formed into a thin line. I dropped my head down to do the same thing he was doing, crossing my arms over my chest as I eyed the state of the victim. I was too focused and way too deep into my thoughts to even hear the small banter going on beside me between Sunghoon and Nicholas. “What the hell were you thinking when you touched the corpse?!” Nicholas yelled at him, pointing a finger and all at a very confused Sunghoon. “I was just trying to test something out!” Sunghoon grumbled back at him. This only added more fuel to Nicholas as he lowered his pointing finger, making a very stressed Euijoo calm down from trying to break them up from creating another crime scene here. Nicholas exhaled heavily, narrowing his already sharp and tired even more at Sunghoon as he simply just shrugged at him. “Boy, I'm gonna replace you with the victim, now come here!.” Nicholas barked back as he launched at Sunghoon, but Sunghoon was quicker as he ran away from him Nicholas followed behind him as he spitted out curses at him in Taiwanese. My breath hitched in my throat, feeling my throat closing up as my shoulders shook slightly. “JAY!..the victim's heart and lungs are missing!” I yelled out to Jay who was all the way on the other side of the crime scene, feeling the nausea growing in me.

———————————————————

Inside Heeseung’s house, 2001, November 16th on a cold morning.

I hummed a song to myself as I finished up the last bit of touches to my eggs, taking the pan off the stove and platting it next to the special sausages I made yesterday and the two slices of homemade bagels. Smiling to myself in satisfaction as I laid the pan down in the sink to soak with the other kitchen tools. I poured myself a nice warm cup of coffee, perfect for this time of the year as I sat on the kitchen island, digging into my plate as my eyes scanned through the newspaper in front of me. A chuckle erupted out of the back of my throat as my eyes caught a familiar headline.

“The Deer Hunter serial killer strikes again!”

That frankly made me giggle in response the more I read about this section of the newspaper, I raised an eyebrow as I sipped on my coffee. “How is she supposedly the best FBI detective in the world but can't solve these cases?” I murmured to myself. I stifled back my laughter, shaking my head as I threw the newspaper over my shoulder. Going back to devouring my breakfast as I glanced down at the knife in front of me, picking it up as I gazed at my small reflection displayed on the knife. I smirked cunningly at my reflection, raising my eyebrows at myself before shooting my head backwards as I heard something crash upstairs, making me eye the stairways suspiciously as I gripped my hold stronger on the knife. Then the reality hit me, making me drop everything in my hands, my mug crashing onto the expensive and clean floor as the coffee spilled everywhere, the knife crashing and clanging down beside the spill as I frantically searched through the kitchen cabinets, feeling my breathing patterns getting shakier along with my hands getting shaky as I started yelling out in frustration as I broke everything whilst searching for my pills, finally finding the bottle of pills, spilling out some onto my palm and the rest going on the floor as I shoved the ones in my palm into my mouth dry, using my saliva to swallow which made me choke on them for a bit before they finally went down, making the voices in my head and shadows in my pherial vision going away. I gasped out for air, running my hand through my damp hair as I leaned my back against the cabinets, trailing my now lazy and heavy eyes around the now-messy kitchen, I let the effect of the pills take over me as I fluttered my eyes closed.

I really didn't want to deal with them today…

———————————————————

I audibly huffed out in frustration as my fingers gripped the steering wheel of my car, tapping my nails anxiously as I chewed down on my lips, my leg starting to bounce up and down from the anxiety that was building up in my chest, tightening it as I felt the air in my car get too stuffy. I let my head hang low and rest my forehead against the steering wheel, staring down at my lap as I felt my eyes starting to moisten again, all the nausea coming back to me from the crime scene of yesterday to the many ones I've been seeing every single day because of this goddamn killer, so, of course, that night also. How could I ever forget that night when he…A knock on my car window made me jolt out of my headspace, raising my head to stare at whoever was at my car window, I blinked away the tears to clear my vision up, only to be met with everyone’s worst nightmare in the office, THE Park Sunghoon.

I sighed as I grabbed my bag and belongings, turning the car engine off and taking the keys out as I opened the door and let myself out of that stuffy car. Gently closed the door behind me as I eyed him up and down, he just looked down at me and blinked a couple of times before he opened his mouth to speak. “Don't..” I threatened him. Watching his lips going into a pout before he huffed at me, I rolled my eyes at him as I locked the car and started to stroll my way toward the office doors, Sunghoon just closely falling behind me as we both entered the office, greeting everyone good morning whilst all he could get was side-eyes from the employees. A grin curled on my lips as I saw Jay walking behind our head agent of the office, Mr.Park Baekhyun, also known as Park Sunghoon’s well-respected father whom everyone fears. I turned to Sunghoon who immediately lowered his head at the sight of his father, I arched an eyebrow at him, all that nosy mouth, attitude and tough personality and he immediately feared his father over the worst-known criminals he had dealt with. I snickered to myself as I turned my attention back to the two men, bowing in out of respect toward Mr.Park. “I need everyone in your whole team in my office, right now.” Mr.Park uttered in a demanding tone, making me raise my head to look at him and then toward Jay who just pointed with his head toward our main office where everyone in the team was there currently. Sunghoon zoomed past me and jogged to the main office, while I was left to go along with Jay into the office of Mr.Park, not long after everyone piled up in the room with us as we sat around the big table he had in his office, everyone eyeing one another nervously, I glanced over at Sunghoon who seemed pretty nervous as he stared at his lap and was currently picked at his long well-kept nails, my facial expression changed to one of concern, leaning in closer to him.

“Are you feeling okay?” I whispered. Trying to hide the disgusted expression on my face as the smell of alcohol was still lingering on him, did he seriously drink this early in the morning? All I could get out of him as a response was a soft hum, he didn't even want to raise his head to spare a glance at me as he kept his eyes focused on his lap and hands.

I sighed as I crossed my arms over my chest, slumping back against the office chair as I decided to let him off of the hook this time.

“I'm pretty sure why you're all wondering I've gathered you here..” Mr.Park started off. Making everyone’s turn toward his direction as he also glanced around to see and read our facial expressions. “A very big thing happened last night, a masquerade was hosted near the Roppongi area and a total of five hundred people were there..and everybody has somehow all tragically died.” He ended. Earned some gasps from us whilst the forensics team just looked at each other with pure horror in their eyes, imagine having to deal with five hundred bodies and trying to get every single detail of evidence off of their lifeless bodies. Mr.Park cleared his throat, making our attention snap back to him as he started to speak yet again. “I want you all to go down there and search every nook and cranny for a small piece of evidence that could make us possibly catch this killer, good luck to you all..and Sunghoon.”

He turned into a harsher tone as Sunghoon finally found the courage to raise his head and move his eyes shakily in the direction of his father. “…do your job for once, god fucking damn it.” He grumbled at him through gritted teeth. I started to be scared of him even though he wasn't even related to me. Sunghoon could only nod his head slowly as he shot up from his chair and was the first one to dash out of the office and leave, slowly everyone started to leave one by one, all whilst murmuring to one another while I stayed behind because Mr.Park wanted to have a private conversation with me. Leaving me standing still in the middle of his big office that glowed under the sun beaming into the humongous windows, I gulped down nervously, eyeing him nervously as he Sat comfortably in his office chair and scanned through the folders on his desk with his reading glasses resting comfortably on his nose that was identical to Sunghoon’s one.

“So…my daughter, how is he doing?.”

———————————————————

“Oh my god Sunghoon, stop it!” Nicholas's voice echoed throughout the ballroom as Sunghoon went around and skipped over the dead bodies like it was a carousel, as he proclaimed allegedly. “So what are we working with today?” Jay questions Jungwon as he sneaks up behind him, looking over his shoulder down at the iPad he held in his hands, all with everyone’s information on it that had been a poor victim in this case. “Well…a lot,” Jungwon stated with a sarcastic tone in his voice as he passed the iPad over to Jay’s hand as he went away to stop Sunghoon from disturbing the peace. “Jay, why are the masks melted into their faces?” I murmured as I looked up from my crouching position, Jay offered me a confused look as he scooted me over and investigated the body in front of both of us. “That's weird…some of them also X-marked on their chests…with their blood.” I hummed in confusion as I tried to make sense of what he was saying. A deep sigh left me as I glanced around the beautiful structure of the golden ballroom, making me go into awe I was fascinated as I forgot that such a gruesome scene happened in here. I squinted my eyes as I caught a blurry glimpse of something far away in the distance, precisely where the stage was. I slowly steadied myself up and walked very slowly to not trip over the many bodies all splayed out in their own pool of blood and their once formal and expensive gowns and suits now all ruined with the said blood. However, I instantly regretted my courage and toughness to come here as a dead person was sitting down on a chair, their whole throat sliced up from the top to the bottom, revealing their larynx, voice box and everything else, while a violin was shoved down their mouth, and it seemed like the killer room his time with him because he has carefully sliced his throat one by one to imitate the string of a violin. but what made it worse was the words written in blood behind him, instantly triggering a panic attack within me as I collapsed down onto the floor, I gasped for air as my hands flew up to my chest to clutch against the fabric of my shirt, trying to tear it open as my shoulders started to shake as sobs left my mouth and echoed through the ballroom. Sunghoon in his even drunken state immediately picked up on the noise and the source where it was coming from, ignoring the nagging of Yudai and Nicholas as he stomped his way over to me, immediately pulling

me into his warm arms and he was to say the least mortified at the same sight in front of him.

“you’re not safe, you’ll be joining your parents soon y/n..”

was written in blood, which horrified everyone in the room including me and Sunghoon.

———————————————————

Tokyo, Saiko corporations.

I squinted my eyes harshly as I felt them getting drier the more I stared at the bright screen of the computer in a dimly lit office. An audible yawn left my lips, taking my glasses off as I pinched the bridge of my nose, inhaling a deep breath in as I turned the computer off and decided I was finished for the night. I took the eye drops that were put neatly on top of the piles of books stacked on each other, raising my head to stare at the ceiling as I dropped two drops on each eye, making my vision blurry and my eyes sting from the drops. I cleared my throat as I closed the eye drops, putting them back in their place as I stretched my arms behind my head, feeling the exhaustion and achiness all over my limps. My ears perked up at the sound of heavily soiled shoes striding around the office, making me stop my movements as I cranked my head around to be met with the face that I hated oh so much.

“Good night, Mr.Yamada,” I said in my fake high-pitched voice, getting up from my seat and bowing my head down a little at the CEO of the corporation where I was working at currently, a very scummy CEO if I had to be specific on describing him. My eyebrows frowned as I raised my head back to glare at him after hearing him scoff very loudly. “Hm…I would change the way I worked in here if I were you, 'cause you see here Heeseung. We're a very formal cooperation that is highly respected and-” I stuck my pocket knife I kept in my pockets at all times, in the side of his neck, watching his eyes shoot wide open as he gasped out, his hand reaching up towards the knife but I grabbed a hold of his filthy and snobby hands. “You should tell this to someone who actually fucking cares, sir.” I hissed at him, pulling my knife out as I watched his hands fly up to grab at his neck as he choked and gasped at the blood coming out of his mouth, I tsked as I glanced down at my bloody hands, letting out a small sound of frustration.

Great, now I'd have to scrub them dry until they were flaky like they weren't dry enough from yesterday’s night..

———————————————————

Saiko Cooperation, Tokyo, 2001, November 18.

I stood in front of the tallest company building in Japan currently. Tapping my boots against the bricked pavement as I twirled the cigarette between my fingers, inhaling the nicotine in as the smoke puffed out and blended in with the gloomy grey sky of today’s morning. I hummed in acknowledgment of Nicholas’s arrival as his Euijoo, Jake, Lee know and some other trainees trailed behind him, he gave him his signature eye roll as he stood next to me and let his own team pass by him. His eyes twitched, and a frown formed on his face as he leant his face in closer to smell my clothes. He let out an audible gasp as he slapped a hand over his mouth, “You're not drunk today?!” He questioned in that annoying voice of his. Making me wave my hands around to dismiss his question but he kept bugging me like the annoying little shit he was ever since my father forced me into this field. “Unfortunately…” I replied back to him. Grunting out in frustration as I placed the cigarette back between my lips, smoking it until I reached to the butt of it, throwing it somewhere along the pavement as I shoved my hand into my coat, narrowing my eyes at Nicholas as he reached an arm out to pat my shoulder. “I'm hoping you keep it up this sobriety, haven't seen you sober since high school…” My stomach turned at the mention of high school, a time period in my life that even satan himself would not want to go through it, I simply nodded my head at him, patting his hand that was on my shoulder as I went about on my way back inside the building. Hoping I'd reach my destination in time, which was on the twentieth floor where everyone else was, especially y/n and that scumbag. He was the only reason I was sober for once today in over a decade.

The shutter clicks of cameras rang throughout the large office, which consisted of a large amount of metallic smell of dried-up blood, the smell of a dead and decomposing body, and the sounds of flies buzzing around the office. I pulled my turtleneck up my nose, blocking any type of smell from entering my nostrils, I felt a shadow cast over my frame and turned around to be met with the sight of Sunghoon who gagged at the scene.

He lowered himself to be close to my face, moving his mouth close to my ear as it brushed against it and his smelly cigarette breath hitting me in the face and ear.

“Are you feeling alright?…” He murmured in a deep voice. I hummed in response, nodding my head slowly at him as I cranked my head more to face him. “Yeah…still haven't seen him around, yet…” I mumbled back. Seeing him sigh out of relief as his gaze wandered around the office, I watched how a light bulb lit next to his head as he left me all alone and jogged somewhere else in the building. “The hell did he go to?…” Jake asked as he finished putting all the evidence he collected into a zip-lock bag. “Just do your job, man,” Ni-ki grumbled back at him, making Jake pouty in return as he crossed his arms like a little child not getting his way as he stormed off to help with the other forensics team. The silence was broken as I flinched at the loud voice of Nicholas echoing somewhere from the other side of the building. “JAKE, MY GOD STOP BEING SO FUCKING CLUELESS.”

—————��—————————————

I huffed out as I tried to catch my breath after jogging up about five or more flights of stairs. Gulping down the saliva built up in my mouth that was getting drier the more I walked toward the room where I was supposed to interview and question staff and employees who were on night shift duty or who just stayed overnight to finish up paperwork. I cursed at my father for forcing me into this task, I may be known and considered as the supposed ‘nepo baby’ of the office but hell…this isn't the nepotism I wanted in a million years. I stood in front of a brown door that looked a bit run down and rusty, I inhaled shakily as I reached out to twist the knob open and peeking my head inside the room. Immediately, my blood started to boil as I caught a glimpse of a very familiar side profile of the Lee Heeseung. I built my courage up, brushing off my grudge feelings aside for now as I promised that I'd take my job today as seriously as I could. I cleared my throat, grabbing his attention as I closed the door behind me.

“Nice seeing you after a while…Sunghoon.” He uttered in that mocking voice which never in a billion years I thought I'd be hearing again, let alone sitting alone in a room with him, face to face with and asking questions about last night's murder, and knowing about his past and his tendency to lie, I believe I’d have to seek into getting my hands dirty if that's the case.

“Yeah, yeah, not nice to seeing you too…Heeseung.” I felt like chopping my tongue off after rolling his name off of it. I made myself get comfortable as I knew I was in for a ride for interrogating with him. His snicker echoed, making me shoot daggers at him as his tilted Hus head with that cunning facial expression on that face which everyone considered one crafted by craftsmen himself but I beg to differ, I wanted to slice it up, skin his face alive as I enjoyed the rush of killing again. His voice broke me out of my thoughts, “Why that long face, Sunghoon? Are you too afraid of me?” His signature sentence. That rolled off his tongue smoother than butter, I clenched my jaw as I observed his face slowly turn more psychotic and more cunning. “Are you afraid about me going batshit crazy on you? Slicing your throat open? Worried about your little ex-lover going through the same night over and over because of me? Hm? Or are you afraid that you'd end up like me? C’mon now…do not forget about that night, Sunghoon. You said that you enjoyed the look on their face when you-” The more he taunted at me, the more blood boiled even more before he could finish and continue on with his taunting, all I could was red as I quickly stood up and took out my gun from the back of my jeans and shooting where ever it could shoot.

Just as long as I could get rid of him.

———————————————————

The last few days truly felt like someone had speeded up my time. I got more stressed about hearing the gunshots from that day at the office and having to see Heeseung cunningly smirk at me as he made his out of the interrogation room with him having a fake pained expression on his face as he was holding a band over his stomach that was wounded by a bullet. Shivers truly ran down my spine as he walked past me, giving me a psychotic look secretly until he was put away into the ambulance and took off, just like that night.

Sunghoon wasn't any better as he kept thrashing around as the guys tried their best to hold him down Jake immediately prepared a sleeping pill for him and shoved it down his throat, making him gag in the process as slowly started to get drowsy and mumble out threats in gibberish as he slept on the couch back at our own office building. He was immediately taken off any tasks and duties until further notice. Making the office feel gloomy without him being him to light the mood up, hell…even Nicholas admitted to missing him last night as he cried in the lap of a very confused Euijoo Ashe confessed every single one of his thoughts in his drunken state.

The snow crunched under my feet as I strolled down the slipper pavements of our neighbourhood, making my way down to check up on Sunghoon after finally having a day off for the first time in a while. I climbed up those three little steps leading into the comfy and welcoming doorway of their nicely decorated house. Leaning my right side on the wall I reached my hand out to ring their doorbell, a minute later I was met with a messy-looking Sunghoon.

“Hi…” I murmured out in a soft tone. Watching him run at his red eyes as he stood still in the doorway, looking at me blankly like he always does before he moved his body to the side, making way for me to enter into the warmth of their home. Taking my boots off as he closed the door behind me, going back to staring at me with those red eyes that looked like they hadn't gotten a single ounce of sleep in forever. “What brought you here?” He whispered in a cracky and hoarse voice. I arched an eyebrow at him, tilting my head at him in confusion. “What I can't check up on you?” I scoffed at him. “No.” He simply muttered out harshly, making my eyes go wide a bit as I parted my mouth to protest back at him but instead, all I could hear was the small sobs coming out and past his quivering lips. “I don't feel like myself anymore…That night just keeps playing over and over in my head, it's making my insomnia worse.” He hiccuped harshly, making me teary-eyed with him as I watched him crash down on the floor and start wailing there, dropping to his side and engulfing him in my embrace, as he hugged me back as I rocked his shaken body back and forth as he let out all his emotions in his breakdown.

Just like how we used to do back in the day.

———————————————————

Flashback to 1993, April 1st.

My ears were ringing like crazy as the voices and conversations of the people in the hospital were all getting distant I frantically jogged past everyone, pushing some people out of my way as I tried to get there, to find his room on the third floor in the hospital. My body started to feel more wobbly and shaken the more I neared the room that he was in currently, I swung the door wide open to his room, standing in the doorway as my mouth hung open slightly as I eyed the sight of poor Sunghoon who was shaken and sat up in his bed as he wept quietly. I took wide steps toward his bed, sat down on it as I pulled him into my embrace, a hand of mine going to stroke at his hair as he clutched his hands onto the back of my sweater, his sobs getting muffled as he buried his face deeper into my chest, “I didn't mean it…” He hiccuped. Letting out another gut-wrenching sob as he shook his head from side to side in denial. “I didn't mean it…I didn't mean to kill my mom…I-” I shushed him before he could continue on, pulling him closer to me as I continued to cradle his shaken body and weak in my embrace, a singular tear falling down my cheek as I tried to set aside of hatred towards him for now.

———————————————————

2001, December on Christmas day, Tokyo.

I tapped my feet anxiously on the marble flooring in the office of my therapist, my leg starting to bounce as I eyed around the office as I got more and more impatient and anxious the longer they took to get here and start the session already. A sigh out of relief went past my lips, as I grinned softly at them as they took their usual seat in front of me, their notes in front of them as their eyes went back and forth between me and the notes.

“December…Christmas day…I’d hope so you're not thinking about your parents, since it is their death anniversary today, right? I felt the air in the room get more harder and suffocating to breathe in, I chewed on my nails nervously, feeling my heart pounding against my chest as I felt the warm tears already forming in the corner of my eyes. “Let's go over that night until you're brave enough to talk about it comfortably, yeah?” they mumbled in a soft voice, I slumped my head back against the leather office chair, staring dazedly at the ceiling as my memories flooded in of that night which still haunts me to thisday.

———————————————————

1995, December on Christmas day, Seoul.

My and family were at the door, biding our goodbyes with the Lee and Park families as they went home after a very very awkward dinner. My eyes kept wandering back and forth between Sunghoon who looked very uncomfortable as he kept eyeing Heeseung who was sitting beside me, I believe Heeseunf also saw this and let his hand travel under the dinner table, resting his hand comfortably on my thigh and giving it a reassuring squeeze to the soft flesh, he leaned his head close to my ears as his hot breath hit my ear and made goosebumps rise on my arms. “Don't worry too much about him, Sweetheart…” He whispered gently in my ear, I hummed in response to him as my eyes went back to glance at Sunghoon who didn't break his eyes away from us as he played and picked around the food on his plate. I shook my head away at those thoughts, as my parents walked past me bid me good night and went up to their bedroom, maybe Sunghoon still hadn't gotten over the death of his mom or I immediately broke the relationship off with him after he was back on his feet and was discharged out of the hospital? I huffed and puffed as I felt my head spinning from all the overthinking I'd been doing after dinner. I strolled up the flights of stairs, going into my bedroom as I changed into more comfortable clothes to sleep in, I crashed onto my king-sized bed, letting the fatigue get over me as I dived into deep slumber.

I gasped loudly as I jolted awake as I heard the distant sounds of vases breaking down the hallway, making me stir up in bed as I hugged the blanket closer to my body, and then it quieted down. The only thing I could hear was my breathing patterns as they went faster and calmed down every time a little noise was made. My breath hitched in my throat as I heard the sounds of heavy footsteps nearing closer and closer to my bedroom, making me pull the cover my body as I hid under it, slapping a hand over my mouth as I tried to calm myself down and hopefully get away from whoever was inside the house currently. My eyes shot wide open as I heard the knob of my door twist open, the door slightly creaking open as the heavy footsteps made their way quietly into the room, but stopped in the middle. I signed against my palm, shutting my eyes as I pretended that I was still sleeping under the blankets. However, the blankets were forcefully pulled off me, not even letting me react or scream out to get someone’s attention for help as the said stranger launched his body over me, repositioning me to lay flat on my back as I was met with the face that I never imaging to be seeing, Lee Heeseung.

“You really thought I would not find out about you being pregnant…with my baby growing inside of you?” He said cunningly. Cocking his head to the side as he smiled at me with a psychotic look on his face that I was leaving kisses all over a few hours earlier at dinner. “You really think I'd let you get that abortion? Think again sweetheart, you're having my legacy. I wanna carry on this little family tradition that was passed on to me.” He giggled menacingly, leaning his head down to rest his forehead against mine, I gulped nervously, feeling my shoulders starting to shake as he whispered something to me that'll haunt me forever.

“I killed your parents, I skinned them alive, cooked their flesh and ate them and I enjoyed every single moment of it, my love.”

And he still had the audacity to act innocent as he called the cops prior after killing my parents, ate on them and got rid of all the evidence. And yet, he acted like a hero in front of the authorities, I eyed him as I sniffled my runny nose, my body couldn't produce tears any longer as a medical staff drapped a blanket over my body. My eyes wandered toward the body bags being loaded into some other car, feeling my heart being stabbed repeatedly at the sight of my once-alive parents. I turned my head around to glance around the neighbourhood, seeing police cars, reporters and some of my neighbours now all looking at me with pity in their eyes, I caught a glimpse of the familiar tall frame and body of Sunghoon as he trailed behind his father as he looked and talked around with authorities for evidence and what not. I frowned as I thought about how strange he was acting tonight, usually when something major happened to me or my family his first priority was to come and comfort me but here he was, doing everything in his will to avoid me as he kept fidgeting around and sparring a few glances towards Heeseung, as he smirked at me mockingly and went away to his car to go home after being done with his job of traumatizing me for life.

———————————————————

2001, December on New Year's Eve, Tokyo.

“Man can't even rest on this day…” Yudai grumbled as he crashed down on the lap of Taki who was busy playing on his phone, giving Yudai a glare before averting his attention back to his game. “At least Sunghoon isn't here.” Nicholas chimed in as he entered the meeting room with coffee in his hand and the rest of his team trailing behind him, Jake immediately made himself comfy next to Ni-ki who groaned out of annoyance at seeing Jake’s presence. “You were crying over him about two weeks ago, Nicho…” Jungwon stated as he kept his eyes focused on the laptop in front of him, typing his fingers away, Nicholas started to fume and protest back as his face was clearly giving signs that he indeed was lying and was missing Sunghoon’s presence dearly. Speaking of the devil, the door slid open harshly, making everyone inside flinch and some even put their hands on their guns just incase there was a threat in the building, that threat turned out to be just Sunghoon with black eye bags as he gazed at around the room with a displeased expression on his face. Nicholas may have shed some tears as he immediately launched his body onto Sunghoon and hugged the life out of him, making Sunghoon whine about how disgusting he was acting towards him whilst Nicholas kept wailing and speaking gibberish sentences that no one could make sense of. “Alright, that's enough you two…” Fuma uttered as he pulled Nicholas off Sunghoon, Jungwon came up behind him to pat Sunghoon’s shoulder, “Glad to see you back buddy.” He smiled gently at him, Sunghoon doing the same as Sunoo quietly made his way in without letting the others be aware, coming up behind Sunghoon as he smelled him, a frown on his eyebrows, “You're sober?!” Sunoo gasped out, slapping a hand over his mouth in shock as Sunghoon turned around to glare at him. “Your stupidity makes me want to drink again,” Sunghoom said mockingly as he got a scoff from Sunoo as he stormed off to sandwich himself between Jake and Ni-ki. “I drink to forget but I always remember…” Sunghoon exclaimed out loud enough for everyone to hear, earning a few snickers from the guys, he parted his mouth to speak but instead turned his head around to glare at somebody who was running around the office even though it was a policy not to run around whilst working hours. “No running you piece of shit!” He yelled at the boy as he peeked his head out of the door, the said boy only turned his head around to spit out words in a foreign language that Sunghoon couldn't understand. “Verpiss dich, alter mann!” The boy grumbled back at Sunghoon, he glared at him but his expression quickly turned to one of puzzlement as he watched the now-once emotional Nicholas zoom past him and out of the meeting room towards the foreign boy. “MY BABY IS FINALLY BACK!” He wailed as he engulfed the boy in a tight embrace.

———————————————————

I hummed to myself as I twirled around the living room, dusting some vases off as classical music played softly throughout the room. I laughed as I glanced out the window, watching his the snow fell and piled up in my back garden. I slumped my body down on the couch, closing my eyes as the scene when I killed her parents played over and over behind my eyelids, making me smirk in satisfaction and victory.

“Why did you do that to us?” A voice oh so familiar spoke out, making me flinch as I fluttered my eyes open to see where that source of voice was coming from. It was the end of the hallway of the living room that was always dark and murky, my eyes could only make out the structure of a female figure standing still at the end. “You did me wrong. Lied to me, said that your daughter couldn't ever get pregnant, lied to me about the breakup of her and Sunghoon!” I yelled out at the woman. Making my chest heave up and down as I stayed put in my place, feeling my hands starting to shake as sweat beads started to form on my forehead. “What if I just…did what you did to us, to you?” The woman said cunningly before she started to merge out of the shadows, making me panic even more as I protested against her, screamed at her and her menacing skinless face as I backed myself up the couch, feeling another person holding me down as she got on top of me, and used her claws to slice me open while I let out the most gut-wrenching pained scream, “stop it..please just stop!” I protested in a weak voice, warm tears spilling down my cheeks as I couldn't feel the weight of a person on my body anymore, nor hands holding my wrist down as I reopened my teary eyes, looking around confused about what happened as my hands flew up to touch my chest over my shirt, huffing out of relief as I realized I just went through an episode, I sighed as I took the pill bottle out my pockets, taking a bunch of pills and shoved them down my throat as I swallowed them dry. I lay flat on the couch, staring at the ceiling as a few tears fell down my cheeks, feeling the pills pumping through my system as the effects started to take in and make me drowsy. The ringing to my door shook me out of my drowsy state, turning my head to the side to stare at the clock, who the hell would be at my doorstep at nine pm? I sighed as I dragged my feet across the floor toward the door, opening it ajar as whoever was behind it had pushed their way inside and threw a punch at my face, making me grunt out as I felt being held by the neck and slammed into the now shut door, I opened my eyes to glare at the intruder, and I wasn't certainly expecting Sunghoon out of all people.

“You really thought you’d be safe while I’m still alive, Lee Heeseung?!” He threatened through gritted teeth, as he tighten his hands around my neck, making it slightly harder to breath as I chuckled menacingly at him. “I’d doubt it…cause when I’m finally caught…so are you, murder” I taunted him, feeling adrenaline building up in my system as he tightened his hands around my neck, choking me as I slapped my own hands over his, gasping out for air. “you helped me murder her parents, do not forget that little thing, Sunghoon.”

———————————————————

2002, January 1st, Tokyo, inside of your apartment.

I stirred awake against the silk sheets of my bedding, fluttering my eyes open and closed as I tried to adjust my vision to the sunlight beaming through the curtains. A yawn went past my mouth as I stretched my body upwards, slowly starting to sit up on the bed as I scratched my already tired eyes, fluttering one eye open and I was met with the most horrific scene ever, making me scream out in fear.

Cameras shuttered and clicked as footsteps went in and out of my room and more investigation and forensics teams piled in. I felt myself getting more nauseous as I sprung out of my bed in a hurry, rushing past the people down the hallways to enter a random bathroom in my apartment, letting everything out in the sink as I heard someone sighing behind me as their hands worked to grab my hair out of my face, patting my back gently as I gagged and threw up even more. I continued until I felt my stomach starting to hurt from how empty it was after all the throwing up, I washed the remains of the vomit and my mouth, splashing some cold on my hot face. Raining my head to stare at Ni-ki who looked at me through the mirror with such hurt and pitiful eyes. “Here…let me guide you.” He murmured softly, letting go of my hair as he gently placed his big hands on my shoulders, guiding me out of the bathroom and outside the apartment building, he handed me over to Jay as he eyed me up and down worriedly. “Are you okay?” Although it was the stupidest thing he could ask after being woken up in your bedroom and seeing disinformed and sliced-off faces all stuck on your bedroom walls, while consequently, all the faces resembled and/or looked familiar to your deceased parents. Jay sighed out in frustration as he guided me towards the police car, opening the door for me as I got in without a word, staring at my lap blankly as I tried to figure out what even happened back there.

I scoffed to myself as I popped another biscuit into my mouth, lowering my binoculars down as I watched Jay get inside the car and took off, leaving the crime scene behind for the rest of the guys. I tsked to myself, getting up from the hard and uncomfortable floor of the building opposite of the apartment building. I dusted my hands and clothes off from any small rocks stuck onto them, “wasn't that too much?” Sunghoon mumbled quietly, as his hair danced around with the wind as he stared down at small cars and investigation crews coming in and out. “There isn't such thing as ‘too much’ in killing, Sunghoon,” I uttered out blankly, raising my binoculars to my eyes as I carefully scanned everything that was happening in her bedroom. “You crossed the line.” He grumbled behind me, making me scoff before turning around to glare at him. “Be glad it wasn't your face sliced off and stuck onto her bedroom walls, Jesus…” I huffed, taking my pill bottle out to shove a bunch down my throat like always. “You still haven't recovered?” He questioned as I turned to face him yet again, making me shove the bottle back in my coat pockets as I sighed out sadly.

“How the hell am I supposed to heal from Parkinson’s, Sunghoon?”

———————————————————

The two weeks went by like a blur honestly for me, I woke up, ate some food, got ready and went to the office and worked my ass off until my body couldn't take it, go back home and sleep. This cycle repeated for me over and over again, but every day had a single little moment or event to it. Each day being a different one, one day maybe I'll be getting a letter from him taunting me and receipting the night how my parents died, maybe a little voicemail with nothing but heavy breathing on the other line, or maybe him ‘accidentally’ appearing in front of him whilst walking back home, or maybe a beheaded head put neatly onto something in front of my door. Every day was different for him and I hated every single thing he was doing to me.

The sirens of police cars and ambulances were heard through the busy streets of Tokyo as I typed away at my computer, I decided to stay overnight to complete some paperwork, a thing that I've been doing for the past two days as I had such displeasure on going back home. I buffed out in tiredness as I felt my eyes getting dry from staring at the bright screen of the computer all day long, I felt the presence of someone behind me, wheeling my chair around to be met with the sight of Sunghoon who held two mugs in his hand, offering one to me but I suspiciously eyed the mug in my face. “It's not alcohol.” He whispered softly, putting the mug between my hands as he pulled a chair from beside one of the many desks and himself comfortable on it, wheeling himself closer to me as he sipped on his mug. This was not suspicious enough as I took a small sip of the drink, raising my eyebrows as I was surprised I wasn't met with the taste of tea secretly mixed with alcohol but it was simply just ginger tea. I hummed in satisfaction at him, and a small smile formed on his lips as he parted his lips, “How have you been feeling?” He asked simply. It was just a simple question with only two answers, but for me it was a lot more than that. I faked a smile on my face, nodding my head at him as I took another sip of my drink, leaning back against my chair as he eyed me up and down, his head slightly turned to the side. My eyes narrowed at him as I watched a mysterious glint form in his eyes, confused as he leaned and placed his mug down on my desk, leaning his face closer to mine as his warm and minty breath hit my face, making me gulp down nervously and before I knew his lips met mine in a sweet and tender kiss.

I scoffed as I zoomed my binoculars closer to the I scene in front of me, tsking at them as I lowered my binoculars. The winter breeze hit me in the face, making my coat behind me swish and dance around as the wind hit it. small petals of snow started to fall from the gloomy blue sky.

“Even after a whole decade, you're still in love with her, pathetic.” I shook my head in disbelief, huffing out as my breath came out as fog, raising my eyebrows in puzzlement as I watched the ex-lovers, mostly Sunghoon retreat and start regretting his actions as he hurriedly walked away from her, leaving her with that confused and hurt expression on that flushed face of hers. It made me chuckle at how stupid they were acting toward one another, I walked over carefully to the edge of the high building, sitting myself down as I raised my binoculars to my eyes, watching her movements as I waited for the perfect time to strike, “I wished I brought my sniper with me, so I could put a bullet through their heads while they were kissing.” I whispered under my breath. Scoffing to myself as I dangled my feet over the edge, although the next moment had my breath hitched in my throat and my eyes wide open, I watched through my binoculars how she grabbed the knife that she always kept at her desk in case she was staying the night at the office in to work, and how she pointed the blade toward her heart, the blade piercing her chest as her white button up getting soaked with her red blood. I lowered my binoculars, my mouth hanging open as I frowned to myself, my shoulder starting to shake as I let out a loud and psychotic laugh, clutching my stomach as I continued to laugh harder and collapsed on my back on the hard brick floor of the building, snow dropping on my face and hair.

My plan to drive her insane to her death had finally worked, now there was only one thing left to do…to set the building on fire and get rid of her body and the evidence associated with me.

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My eyes wandered between the wet roads of Tokyo and the clock inside the dashboard of my car, every second. My gut feeling was telling me that something was very and very wrong, but I honestly couldn't place my finger on what was wrong. Was me kissing her wrong? Was me lying to everybody that I've cut ties with Heeseung like everyone else but I wasn't? I huffed out as I parked my car at the traffic lights, resting my forehead against the steering wheel as I tapped my fingernails against the wheel, chewing down on my lip as my leg started to bounce up and down, my heartbeats speeding up as my ears picked up on every single tiny sound. I cranked my head up as I saw a bunch of fire trucks and police cars zoom past the cars waiting for the traffic light, and they went toward the way back to the office. Maybe a fire started near our office? Or something like that? I groaned out as I slumped back, rubbing my temples as I felt the drugs Heeseung gave me a few days prior rushing and pumping on my blood. I bit the inside of my cheek, deciding to listen to my gut feeling for once as I backed my car up and speeded in between cars as I followed closely behind the fire trucks and police cars. And the sight of our office building being lit up in fire had me regret my decision to leave her alone inside. I stepped out of the car, jogging up toward the entrance of the office but instead, I was held back by Jay and my father who were already there and were informed about the fire. “Let go of me!” I yelled out, feeling my eyes moisten with warm tears as I kicked around as I was forcefully kept in place by the two men who were yelling in my ears to calm down, I let out a scream of frustration and guilt as I collapsed on the floor, letting the tears flow down my cheeks as my clothes and hands got wet and dirty from snowy pavements. I raised my head to look at the building, some parts of it falling off as it burned away, and due to me still being sensitive to every little sound from the drugs, I immediately picked up on the laughter of a familiar voice. I turned my head slowly toward the source of the laughter, seeing Heeseunf standing at the end of the street, that cunning smirk still on his lips as he dangled a lighter in his hand, my breathing started to get faster as I got up quickly, sprinting toward him as I ignored the pleas and protests of the other guys for me to stop, I launched myself onto him, knocking him down on the floor as I kept viciously punching at his face.

The built-up anger got to me and I’ve had enough of it.

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Heeseung was finally arrested after that night, and I made sure to make his sentence even worse and guaranteed for him as I submitted all the copies of the VHS he had given me every time he started killing from 1995 till now. My father for the first time after my mother's murder finally smiled at me and patted my back for doing a great job. And now we've got him under our hands, we went ahead and searched his house and got ourselves more evidence of cases that were unsolved, and Nicholas took advantage of the situation he was in, taking him in his lab and stripped him naked and got every single thing that could be tested for evidence and he got the results he was exactly searching for, all positive and matching the victim's bodies. If that was humiliating for him, cause the disease was too severe for him when he killed my mother and accidentally left some evidence behind on the weapon and later on framed me for it and let me develop insomnia and be sleep deprived for the rest of my life, spend a year in jail falsely accused as my own father distanced himself away from me and hated my guys for killing my mother. He was immediately found guilty only after the first trial and sentenced to life in person with a death sentence and no parlour. I even admitted that I had helped him with him killing her parents but the jury just ruled it out as manipulation and abuse of power, letting me off the hook as I went back to my job as a lawyer at the office, sober from all the drugs and alcohol. My father got tired and retired, inviting us to one last dinner with him to honour his hard work as we laughed and cried and drank our minds off, he surprisingly announced me as the new head agent of the office, although I was drunk but I was still aware enough to hear Jay banging his head against the table, Nicholas starting to sob out in the lap Yudai. Not even an hour as my new position and rank, and somehow Nicholas managed in his drunk state to print out a vacation leave and made my drunk self convinced and signed it as he took off immediately to go back to Taiwan for two years. And Fuma was having the time of his life to use Heeseung as a punching bag for the new trainees to train their moves on. And you might be worrying about the rest, while Jungwon was still kept as my secretary but I let him take vacation leave, and Jay was still tired of me as he solved cases left and right, Jake was still pretty clueless but got his job done at the lab nonetheless, and Ni-ki…after hearing about the death/suicide of her, he immediately quit his job and moved to California, leaving all of us behind to start fresh there and I respected his wishes to do so since he was babied by her and he basically grew up with her whilst working her and he got the most affected after the news of her death. Sunoo followed him close behind and quit also, going back to his hometown to live a normal and quiet life there, instead Maki, Nicholas's legally adopted son took Ni-ki and Sunoo’s place as the IT specialist of the team. Although, he still couldn’t understand us due to the language barriers between us but he has somehow managed to make it work…and somehow managed to steal every single one of the new girl trainees heart in a second, making Nicholas all smug about it as he bragged about it to me. and Yudai suffered a fractured disk in his spine after demonstrating a move in a wrong way, forcing him to quit the job and relax at home while Fuma took his place in return. and Me…well…here I am, telling you what everyone has been up to as i sat down next to your grave, smiling wickedly to myself as I wiped my tears away, clearing my throat as i got and dusted my clothes off and bidding you goodbye in a small voice and a promise to visit you again.

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“I’m home!” I yelled in a joyful voice, kicking the door closed behind me as I was met with an eerie silence in my home. I hummed to myself in confusion as I strided towards the kitchen to place down the grocery bags to unload later, my only priority was to search for Haseon. Now…Haseon may not be my son, but he was the son of you and well…Heeseung. The one that I immediately took him in my arms and flew with him to Sweden so he could grow under the care of my grandparents and not under Heeseung. I cocked my head to the side, feeling my heartbeats speeding up as I jogged and searched in every room in the house and he was nowhere to be found. Could he possibly in the garden with his pet bunny? That seemed like a reasonable option as I jogged back to the living room and sighing out of relief as I saw the back of his already growing frame. “Haseon! what’re you-“ I gasped out as I slid the door to the garden open, feeling like my throat was tightening up as I stared at him, was I dreaming or was this another child that broke inside the house? I felt my head getting dizzy, my worst nightmare was finally happening, the thing that I always prayed to every god to not let it happen to him since I certainly did not want disown him at such an early age. Haseon slowly turned around, an innocent smile on his face that showed his bloody teeth, as his jaw, mouth, teeth and shirt were all covered in blood. My eyes shakily trailed down to his hands, making me choke on my saliva as I glanced at his pet bunny, all bloody and his red flesh showing, Haseon squeezed the poor bunny, making blood gush out of his lifeless body as he brought the bunny up to his mouth, biting his teeth down on the exposed flesh and taking a big chomp out of it’s body, like a lion eating at it’s prey.

Haseon’s face and body was replaced by Heeseung’s one, making my stomach churn and the vomit slowly making it’s way up my throat. His actions made me think about the same thing Heeseung had done whilst we were both still in high school, and I accidentally caught him doing such a thing to his poor hamster while he menacingly smiled toward me and ate the poor thing raw. The same thing was happening in front of me, but with Haseon…the child I grew on the palm of my hands and sent to multiple doctors around the world to test if he had the psychotic genes like his father.

But they were all negative and wrong, he was just like his father.

A future psycho in the making.

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notes: i was sleep deprived for the past three days trying to finish this, so don’t come for me if the timelines, story or anything don’t line up. just your brains to connect the dot’s together and tadaaa.

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