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burnyouwithacigarettelighter · 9 months

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TAKE YOU DOWN A PEG ─── neil lewis ✧𖦹

ೃ⁀➷ “I want you. Your bones. Your body heat. The bite marks your teeth leave. To see how bad and beautiful those eyes look beneath me." — Beau Taplin.

pairing. sub!neil lewis x reader

summary. gumshoe video’s got a rude customer who neil can’t seem to ban…

warnings. swearing, voyeurism, unprotected sex, creampie, p in v, semi-public sex, breathplay, oral sex (m), cockwarming, degradation/insults, SMUT UNDER THE CUT!

word count. 5.3k

a/n. the hardest thing about writing this was scouring letterboxd for obscure films that i think neil would foam over. pls don’t beat me to death if my film references miss the mark 😭

Neil loves his job. Seriously, seriously, he does. It's completely self-satisfying, his personal passion project that’s taken up a large amount of his life, and brings him the uttermost joy of allowing him to do what he does best: recommend films.

Gumshoe Video is like his fucking baby, and he takes care of it, immensely; he wipes down every tape every Sunday, he sweeps the floor and rearranges the furniture, he organizes the tapes almost constantly, and he does his hardest to provide stellar, passionate - if almost annoying - film advice. He wants the reviews up on this place, alright, otherwise it feels like he’s letting his baby down.

Now, if there’s one thing Neil hates about his job, just one minor, teensy weensy thing, it’s probably you. You, the rude customer who came in three months ago and has come in everyday since.

The day you and Neil Lewis met was one just like the rest. Gumshoe Video was promoting old spaghetti westerns; Neil was wearing a cowboy hat and opening deliveries from a video tape shop in Calabasas that had closed down; you were coming off work and were daydreaming, dizzily entering shops to get your mind off the irritatingly mundane job you had. Unlike Neil, you fucking hate your job.

You had entered Gumshoe, browsing lazily through the Film Noir section, when Neil sprung up like a weed behind you, speaking animatedly about how the best film noir’s had to be Casablanca, Sunset Boulevard, or Double Indemnity, and if you’d ever watched them before.

As Neil blabbered on, your left eyebrow became increasingly raised. Finally having enough of him, you spoke. “So, are you one of those guys that talk all over the girl and ask them if they’ve ever seen Citizen Kane, or if I can even name five Ingmar Bergman movies for you?”

Neil spluttered, flustered with being confronted about his obsessive cinephile talking habit of carrying the conversation away like a track runner in a relay race going off with the baton in the wrong direction. “What? I was just —“

“— name dropping film noir’s, ‘cause I’m some ditzy, uncultured bimbo bitch who mistakenly walked in, right?” You said, rolling your eyes. Later, in retrospect, you’ll wonder if you were too rude; then, you’ll remember you don’t give a fuck, you were having a bad day, and Neil Lewis had one hell of an annoying face.

Neil’s face grew offended, an irritated furrowed brow wiggling onto his features. “If you don’t want to watch what I recommend, you don’t have to!” he exclaimed, arms up placatingly in the air.

“Uh huh, okay, and you don’t have to shove your pretentious cinephile knowledge up my ass.”

He just stared at you, boring his bright blue eyes into your own, face contorted so exasperatedly you might as well have climbed up to the stars, plucked the moon from the sky, and used it as a pillow.

My god, Neil thought. Are you just a rude customer? Or did you get off on berating small businesses like a sadistic freak?

After a moment of you two staring each other down in the fluorescent artificial light of Gumshoe, both looking terribly affronted, you left.

Neil would then rant about this “insane customer” for at least twelve hours straight to anyone who’d liste. The next day, the distasteful experience was extremely close to thereby fully exiting his mind, but didn’t, because you, yes, you, walked in again.

You shot straight daggers with your eyes at Neil, but your expression became soft, demure, and gentle when you saw Jonathan manning the register instead. You trailed through the aisles unperturbed, Jonathan too busy sporting a hangover from working the late shift at that obscure speakeasy copycat bar (in which, as often as possible, he would sneak a shot to stay awake) to recommend films.

In any case, that was Neil’s job, and Jonathan leaned over to whisper in his ear: “Neil, man, do me a favor and please distract that customer -- fuck, this headache’s killing me…”

Neil protested, shaking his head rapidly. “That’s her.”

“Her who?”

“Her! The - customer who -- who yelled at me!”

Jonathan blinked blearily, clearly still too incapacitated to think about the matter much. “She yelled at you… and she’s back. Here. And why exactly is that…?”

“To yell at me s’more, probably!” Neil whisper-shouted incredulously.

Suddenly, you broke Neil and Jonathan out of their not-so-quiet argument by slamming down Gumshoe Video’s copies of Casablanca, Sunset Boulevard, and Double Indemnity. The irony did not miss Neil - honestly, it was a little on the nose, even for him.

“Thought I’d see what all the rage was.” you explained “sweetly”, gesturing to Neil as you spoke, indignation seeping through your every word. Your grudge was, well, mostly unexplained, ‘cept for the fact you yourself were an avid cinephile, had watched those three movies more than you could count, and did not take Neil’s “have you watched these before” kindly.

Thus started you and Neil’s long-winded rivalry slash animosity slash terribly caustic back-and-forth correspondence.

You keep coming to Gumshoe Video, because, despite your anger towards Neil, you fucking adore the place. The films are downright amazing, the atmosphere is like fucking heaven with the walls lined full of video tapes, decorated in classic film props, campy lifesize cardboard cutouts making you jump at every turn, and Gumshoe Video’s concept is insanely different (and lightyears better) than the corporate monolith that is Media Giant.

He keeps coming to Gumshoe Video because, again, Neil loves his job, and treats Gumshoe like he carried it for nine months and has been lovingly raising it for the five years it's been open.

From that first incident, you and Neil’s relationship twisted a little into something like this: you come in, insult him on whatever costume he’s wearing, return the tapes you rented the other night, argue with him for exactly an hour and a half on the couch, insult him for another ten as you browse the store, ignore his film recommendations, and rent three more movies.

He waits for you to enter, wears the ugliest costume he owns to visually assault you, gladly takes the tapes back, argues with you for 1 and ½ hours, fires back retorts as you insult him, recommends movies he thinks will make you jump out your apartment window, and gives you your movies.

You’re the minor, teensy weensy headache Neil experiences everyday, but at least, at the very least, Gumshoe makes daily dollars from your rentals - kinda like the payback or relief fund a town gets after a hurricane’s run through it.

But, (somewhat?) shamefully… there’s a reason Neil doesn’t just ban you from the store and live his life without ever thinking of you again.

This reason occurred to him a month ago, when he was in the backroom, pasting barcodes and information stickers on tapes that were yet to be placed in the store. You were looking for the washroom, awkwardly stumbling through the back hallway of Gumshoe Video, and since you couldn’t find Neil — he, in spite of the nature of your relationship, trusted you to look around and rent the tapes by yourself, having done it several times while arguing with him at the counter — you had to brave through it alone.

Now, the thing about the room Neil was in — more of a shoe closet than a room, honestly — was that it was locked from the outside, and he didn’t have the key. The key was currently in the hands of one Lucien, who had gone to buy takeout for the two of them because of the late night cataloging of new tapes ahead of them.

And… he was taking about a hundred years to come back because he was trying to get the cashier’s number at their usual Chinese restaurant.

Anyway, imagine this: you’re looking for the washroom, and the door to a small room is propped open. You enter, don’t think much of the small stack of empty tape boxes acting as a door stopper, and let it close. The light in there is dim, just a shitty little ceiling light; Neil turns, tapes in his hand; you turn, after closing the door.

Finally, remember: the room is more of a shoe closet than a room.

“Jesus -- christ!” Neil yelped, startled at your sudden appearance. “What -- the hell are you doing here?”

“I take it this isn’t the bathroom?” You murmured, ignoring his question and shifting uncomfortably. Seriously, the tape closet was only meant for one person in it at a time.

If the lights were brighter, you would’ve seen how hard Neil rolled his eyes; they almost rolled out of his head. “Well, I don’t think so, given the lack of toilet, sink, and light, no.”

“Well, Neil,” you purred, hot breath curling around the sensitive skin of his neck, “maybe, just maybe, you should have a sign for the bathroom, so I don’t have my tits any closer to your face than I want them to.” You said this sweetly, voice husky, low, and oddly sultry, but Neil knew better than that: you probably wanted to fucking kill him right now.

You were right, though; your tits were flush Neil’s bandy chest, the heat between you two growing the longer you were this close in proximity.

“Now get me out of here,” you said quickly after, ignoring how warm Neil felt against your body. You’d turned so your back faced him, hands twisting at the silver knob of the door - which, Neil honestly didn’t know why was there, considering it didn’t fucking work.

Neil sighed. “The door locks from the outside.”

“What?” You said, distracted by leaning down to press your weight against the door like it was just sticky. Moments later, “…What?” you all but shrieked, hands falling from the knob, turning to face him once more.

And, again, if the lights were brighter you’d have seen Neil’s face better: he was bright fucking red, because, apparently not accounting for the small space of the room, you’d leaned and obliviously had your ass pressed right against him. It didn’t help that his large, warm hands, having long since dropped the tapes he was labeling, hung near the flesh of your rear, having nowhere else to go in the limited space.

Neil thanked the small mercy God graced upon him that there wasn’t any kind of friction, so his soft cock remained just that: soft, and barely noticed by you.

“The door locks from the outside.” Neil repeated breathlessly, the amount of air in the shoe-box room being incredibly small, too small to share between the two of you.

“Fucking…” You cursed under your breath, shaking your head in disbelief. “So, what, we have to stay here ‘till someone busts us out? What’re you gonna do if I go batshit and eat you or something?”

“For one, Lucien isn’t going to take that long to come back. Anyway, why’re you assuming you’ll overpower me - what if I go batshit and tear into you?”

You snorted, like the connotation he could overpower you was completely implausible. “Neil, Neil, Neil,” you repeated nonsensically, before lifting a hand up to his shoulder and digging your nails into him, the fabric of his shirt obviously not thick enough to distort your strength. “I could have you pinned down in less than a minute. I do other things than watch movies all day, unlike your lanky ass.”

Neil merely let out a chagrined laugh in response, hands clammy at the thought: you pinning him down— he then shook himself mentally, about to slap himself upside the head. Fucking hell, this situation was doing things to him.

“You don’t believe me?” You retorted with a raised brow. Swiftly, your hands curled around Neil’s wrists, pinning them behind him and pressing his back against you. “How about now, huh?” you whispered softly in his ear, making his head swim.

Your chin rested on his shoulder, your nose brushing against his neck, and it took everything in Neil not to let out a breathy keen — this was all too much for him: your touch, your voice, and the apparent dawning on him that he found you terribly, massively, attractive.

“Fuck, I, er - - um,” Neil scrambled for a response, when the door to the tape closet suddenly opened. Your hands released him immediately, and you strided out, breathing in deeply.

On the other side stood Lucien, plastic takeout bag in one hand, closet key in the other. “What happened to you?” he asked confusedly, as Neil filed out after you, gaze trained on your stretching figure walking off.

“We got, uh -- locked, in the- in the tape closet.” Neil murmured, thoughts still fuzzy from your rough touch.

“With her?” Lucien shuddered, handing Neil the chinese takeout bag sympathetically. “You need this food more than I do.”

So, there it was. Neil’s reason. He would’ve called you an insufferable bitch that he never wanted to see enter Gumshoe Video ever again hundreds of times by now — if your sensual voice insulting him didn’t get him all tight in the pants.

He began having thoughts — thoughts of you. You, whispering vulgar, humiliating words in his ear, your hands carding his hair, pulling tight against his scalp, selfishly making him do whatever you wanted him to do, no matter his pleas.

The fantasy was unlike anything Neil had dreamed up before, having always believed it should be him on top, him controlling the situation, him dominating — but it wasn’t a bad one. He’d come faster than he ever did before, just by imagining you were rolling your hips into his own… your strength pinning him down… your lips brushing past the shell of his ear, telling him he was so fucking dirty, so filthy for being this needy.

However, that was all just a vague, distant pipedream, especially with how you seem to actually hate him. All the interaction he’d had with you consisted of poisonous, irritated words, insults and curses — which had him feeling both incredibly turned on, and sick at the fact he was attracted to you just by being mean to him.

Sometime after that, nearing the end of the work day, Neil was the only one left there: Jonathan had taken the morning shift, and Lucien was, surprisingly, on a date with the cashier at their usual Chinese restaurant place. Looks like he succeeded in getting her number, while Neil had been pressed against you in that tiny tape closet, moments away from getting a hard-on.

So, Neil was the only one there - and you were the only customer there. Your daily routine of stopping by and verbally attacking him was late today, so it was nearing midnight when you and Neil sat on the couch and began arguing.

“I’m sure your “manly” ego isn’t at all pathetic and easily hurt by the superiority of Mia Farrow’s performance in Rosemary’s Baby.” You spat, leaning into the diverse array of old throw pillows that sat on the couch day after day.

Neil rolled his eyes, hands up in the air animatedly. “My manly ego - and I don’t enjoy the sarcasm nor the air quotes you’re using - isn’t pathetic, nor easily hurt! Mia Farrow just wasn’t better than John Cassavetes was. I stand by the fact they were equal.”

You let out a disbelieving laugh, your hand coming down on Neil’s knee to dig into him angrily. “Neil, I don’t expect you to understand her performance - I don’t think anyone does, not with that little cinephile brain you have. Do you do any thinking up there, or is it just The Treasure of the Sierra Madre on rewind?”

Neil flushed, both at the insults and how your hand was on his fucking leg. “What about you? What is it that makes you keep coming back here if you think my opinion is so… worthless and entitled?”

You grit your teeth, leaning in closer to him. “Because, Neil, this is the only other video tape shop for miles, and I will not be caught dead at Media Giant. Trust me, I despise this - “arrangement” of ours, far more than you do.”

He huffed, his gaze trailing over your features, unable to come up with a response: he was too busy focussing, trying not to zero in on how your face was inches away from one his, your fingers oddly inching up his thigh.

“Don’t go making this about me. Why is it,” your continued, hands traced dizzying circles into the fabric of his jeans, “that you don’t just kick me out? I come in here, day after day, berating you, ignoring your recommendations… shouldn’t I have been banned a long time ago?”

Neil gulped. “You’re still a - a customer, one who rents daily I might add—“

You smirked up at him. “Don’t lie to me. I know Gumshoe’s doing just fine… and I heard you, y’know? Last week… in your office.”

“What? What are you talking about?” He stammered out, racking his head for what he might’ve been doing in his office— fuck.

Fuck, he thought, mind racing rapidly, he thought you had already left by the time he started—

“I heard you, hiding in your office… stroking yourself, moaning my name.”

You’d rented just one tape last Friday, for a movie date with a guy from work, and you almost left - before realizing Neil took your membership card and never gave it back. You waltzed back in, and to your obvious surprise, Neil wasn’t at the register.

“Neil?” You called out softly, trying not to spark an argument with him that would span hours, because you were trying to show up to this date on time.

You walked down the back hallway, and found his office door, which had a gleaming NEIL LEWIS printed on its foggy glass.

Your hand had almost reached for the handle, his name on the tip of your tongue, when you heard a needy whine slip past the door. Shocked, you lingered and pulled your hand away, pressing your ear against the pane to listen closer.

“God, fuck,” you heard Neil curse, his name slipping from your lips like a prayer. “Need you so bad,” you heard him whisper to no-one but himself, before a low moan belted out of him.

Your face grew warm, immediately, flushed at the news that Neil-fuckin’-Lewis was jerking off, in his office, mumbling your name. You squeezed your eyes shut, continuing to listen to his pretty voice, and after several moments of your lust-riddled mind drinking in his sweet noises, how he was so focussed on his pleasure while completely oblivious to your listening in, you found one of your hands coming up to tweak your erect nipple — fuck, his stuttered little moans had your cunt pulsing with utter need.

Neil was getting close, you could tell, hearing him buck into - what you assumed - was his wooden desk, sloppily muffled mewls leaving his mouth.

You were biting down on your lip, hard, an incredible amount of self control in place. The man was so horny, sounding so fucking submissive it drove you insane: just the thought that he’d bend to your will and do whatever you wanted made your legs clench.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending who you ask, you felt your phone begin buzzing in the waistband of your modesty shorts - probably the date you were late for - and you had quickly fled.

“Oh, jesus,” Neil blurted out now, alarmed, immediately in the flight part of fight or flight. “I- whatever you heard, I can - I can explain, really, so please don’t—“

Your hand gripped his thigh, keeping him from getting up. “Hey, hey, shh,” you said, bringing a finger to your lips. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I know, just as well as you do, how bad you want me.”

Truly, Neil couldn’t control himself that night. You had walked in, wearing a delicious little dress with a sweetheart neckline, strolling around in 3-inch heels, cooing mockingly at his costume for that week’s theme — a criminal wearing nifty little handcuffs to promote the double feature promotion of crime films and dramas — purposely leaning down to make him feel smaller than you.

Neil had flushed, looking away, willing himself not to let out a needy groan at your get-up, instead silently checking out your tape rentals and quickly handing them back to you. After you’d walked out of the store, he’d dashed to his office, feeling the tent in his pants grow warm, aching.

Quite similarly to how he felt now, your eyes coursing over his entire form, so close Neil felt himself sinking into the couch.

“Look how fucking hard you are already.” you whispered, hand drawing away from his thigh and reaching for the bulge in his jeans, palming him between the fabric. “Does it turn you on? The fact you got caught?”

Neil’s breath hitched. “Fuck, please, I—“

“You’re so pathetic.” You said, laughing at him. “I can feel how big you are, such a thick cock, and all you know how to do with it is beg.”

Your plush lips were curled into a cheshire grin, baring your sharp teeth at him, and Neil was ashamed at how badly he wanted those teeth to press painful bites into his sensitive skin.

He was about to whine again, plead desperately, but he shut up when you slipped off the couch, sinking to your knees, fingers undoing his belt buckle and fly. Shifting his jeans down, you dipped your hand down the waistband of his boxers and pulled his cock out: it was angry, hard and begging for release.

But you wanted to tease him before you got to the good part. First, your warm breath fanned over his cock, making him jump, trying to rut up into your mouth, and your soft lips slipping past his leaking head had his hands tugging at your hair, trying to pull you closer to him.

You thinned your eyes and got up, hand pressing his cheeks together and forcing his jaw open. You spit into his mouth, then patronizingly patted his face, “Do that again and I won’t touch you - I’ll take my tapes and leave you a needy fucking mess on this couch.”

Neil groaned, your spit foreign and hot on his tongue like lava. “God, I… I just wanna — want you so bad.”

You tutted, sinking back down on your knees to face his rock hard length up and pressed flat against his abdomen. “Not yet. You haven’t earned it, you desperate fucking pervert. D’you know who jerks off in their office to someone they barely know? Fucking perverts.”

He leaned his head back, a moan leaving his lips at your insulting choice of words. It felt like you were torturing him, but his body wanted nothing more than you.

Your lips then ghosted past him for another moment before you started your assault on his strained cock: you laid tentative kitten licks all the way down his length, enjoying how he squirmed under you, wanting nothing more but your wet mouth around him. Then, without warning, you took him in your mouth whole, tongue dragging and curling around his cock. You devoured him salaciously, hollowing your cheeks, sliding his cock in and out of your full mouth at an alarming speed, hitting the back of your neck with each thrust.

Your tongue felt heavenly on his cock: wet, warm, and sticky, lapping at him without stopping. Your teeth grazed against him lightly, and Neil’s back arched into your touch.

He was practically convulsing now, drooling as his eyes rolled to the back of his head at the pure pleasure you were inflicting on him with no split second or moment for him to regain his composure. You wanted to see him fall apart, come undone just by your mouth, he realized, and he wanted to let you, wanted to let go — but, as fast as you’d taken his hard cock into your mouth, you let him drop from your lips.

“Why did you - please, fuck -- why did you stop?!” Neil whimpered noisily, head rolling onto his chest to look down at your face: lips plump, faint tear tracks running off your cheeks, your gagged spit falling from your chin.

“I oughta take you down a peg, Neil. Show you what a dumb fucking loser you are, pretending you’re so confident, so dominant, like you know everything there is about movies.” You responded nonchalantly, getting up and shedding your panties and leggings.

“M’not dumb,” he whined, looking at you through heavy lidded eyes, “god, you’re killing me here.”

“You’ll live,” you grinned, climbing on his lap and lining your wet sex with the fat head of his cock. Then you descended down on him, watching blissfully as his cock disappeared into your folds.

Neil’s hands wrapped around your waist, burying his face into your neck. He mewled against your skin, drunk on your tantalizing scent, lips wet with drool and leaving a slick trail.

Despite your dominance in this situation, completely controlling Neil’s pleasure, you couldn’t control your own: Neil’s cock felt fucking good, long and thick in all the right places, a curve that arched right against your cervix, veins rubbing against your walls pleasantly. He stretched your cunt completely, making you wince, but there was still pleasure there, the feeling of your crevices being filled with his fat cock making your toes curl.

After a moment of getting used to his cock, you rose back up, then sunk down, your hands gripping his shoulders for dear life. Neil’s head shot back, a labored cry leaving him as you set a steady, almost too slow pace, torturously sliding his cock in and out of your tight hole.

Your hands trailed across his still-clothed chest, and you grieved the chance lost to have stripped him, your touch teasing him every step of the way — but having him deep within you was probably better.

“Your- fuck, you’re so -- so soft,” Neil squeaked below you, revelling in how you took him, bottoming out each time like it was nothing.

You simpered at his words, how helpless he was, succumbing to the pleasure; to you. “Knew you were,” you slammed down on his cock, making Neil choke, “pretending to be arrogant. You just needed someone to put you in your place.”

Neil hadn’t realized it wasn’t a rhetorical question until your hand came up to his hair, tangling through his locks and tugging. “Who d’you belong to? Who put you in your place?” you murmured lowly.

He whimpered at your roughness, leaning into the sofa obediently. “You! You own me,” he pleaded, desperately chasing his own pleasure.

“That’s it,” you said, shutting your eyes, bobbing up and down on his cock faster. Your ass bounced above him, and Neil’s hands rested on the flesh of your rear, massaging you.

Greedily, Neil tried to thrust into you, but you weren’t having any of it, deterring his attempts by pushing him so he laid flat on the couch, your hands pinning his wrists above his head, the new position pushing him deeper into you.

“You stay down, you dirty fuckin’ loser,” you said caustically, but your actions said otherwise: your walls were squeezing around him needily, your cunt sucking him in so far you could feel his balls brushing against your clit.

The tip of his cock brushed past your g-spot each time you rutted into him, and soon enough you felt it: that pulsing, that heat, that familiar coiling within your insides. Neil was reaching it too, his face flushed pink and his breathing as heavy as it was back then, in the tape closet.

You began thumping down on him, your fingers tightening around his scalp. Your pace had gotten feverish, bordering feral, both your minds focussed on one thing: release. You could feel your cunt tensing, your mind going foggy, and then, there it was: your pleasure ran through you like electric current, shocking your body. You felt numb, tingly like when the blood flow to your arm gets cut off for a moment, making your pace stutter.

You didn’t stop, however, riding out your high on his cock, bouncing up and down on Neil’s thick length. He felt fucking delicious, piercing you in all the right ways, and you adored how malleable he was right now: so horny and submissive he stopped speaking and was merely letting dirty moans leave his mouth without any protest. His gaze, his focus, was elsewhere, lost in the deep haze of pleasure your cunt was subjecting him too.

You leaned down, pressing small love-bites onto his skin like he’d fantasized so many times before, and it broke him out of his stupor. “Did you think of this, in your office?” you whispered, “did you think of me, my tits bouncing, your cock deep in my cunt?”

“Ugh,” Neil groaned, reveling in how your seductive voice sounded like music. He was much, much closer than he thought, and when you licked up his jaw, your hot breath on the shell of his ear making him sweat, your cunt still fucking him roughly, he let go.

You felt it first, the familiar liquid bursting past his thick head and painting your fleshy walls creamy, like a new coat of alabaster that Gumshoe desperately needed.

“So good, so wet,” Neil groaned, shutting his eyes and pressing his forehead to yours. You stared at him, watching his lewd expression throughout his entire high, waiting for that beautiful blue gaze of his to open and face you again.

“I’m milking you dry. Look how fucking full you’ve made me, you filthy pervert.” You were taking him for every drop he could offer, and it was delectable.

You two were heaving now, both coming down from your highs. You’d effectively ruined the couch, your slick soaking the cushions and his jeans, as well as his come, which was leaning out of your still-stuffed hole.

“I think you’ve gotta replace this manky ass couch, Neil,” was the first thing you said, your hands sliding down from their grip in his hair to his pink cheeks, rubbing his skin delicately.

His eyes opened, watching you carefully. “It was about time,” Neil shrugged breathlessly. “Do you… do you actually - hate me?” he continued, murmuring self-consciously.

You laughed, but it wasn’t sharp, not at him like before, no; it was tender, like a scarf Neil wanted to wrap around him in the winter time.

“I never hated you,” you murmured, tone reverent, “you’re just a little, how does it go…”

“Presumptuous?” Neil finished for you.

You nodded, then grasped at his shirt and pulled him from the couch so he was sitting upright again. “Jus’ wanted to, ahem, “take you down a peg” like I said earlier..” you trailed off, cheeks growing warm remembering your earlier behavior during sex.

This was all very new, to the both of you — you, in all your relationships and flings, were not the dominant partner. You guessed there was a first time for everything.

Then, you were about to get off his lap, but Neil held you steady on his cock. “Don’t go,” he said simply. “I’ve got Brief Encounter in the player, if you want to, y’know…”

He wasn’t hard anymore, but it just felt good, cozy, having you two talk and regain your composure with him filling you nicely. It felt right.

You smiled, a gummy, blissful smile. “Okay. I’ve actually never seen this,” you said, turning to face the tv, wincing slightly.

“Really?” Neil said, an amazed joy seeping into his voice.

“I’m joking,” you snorted, and you could practically see Neil pouting behind you. “But I don’t think we’ll be paying much attention…” you purred, clenching your thighs around his length.

“Jesus fuck,” Neil groaned behind you, hands coming under your shirt, “you’re exactly like those movies.”

“I’m even better, baby.”

#cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #neil lewis x reader #watching the detectives #neil lewis smut #sub!neil lewis x reader

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wlntrsldler · 2 months

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idk if anyone has brought it up before but

five star making luke watch 'barbie' and he falls in love with the movie and they have animated rants with each other about the social commentary

they definitely did a long-distance watch party when they left camp while five star is at school and luke is touring. (they try to do a watch party twice a month at LEAST but it depends on their schedules)

luke during the scene where the kens singing to the barbies on the beach: babe is that what i look like to you when i serenade you

five star: yes.

luke: :/

then five star would watch luke's reaction to all the emotional scenes and tease him for tearing up (but she's crying too) and luke has to pause the movie to rant and five star can't even get a word in lol.

in my head, the band gets invited to some random movie premier and letterboxd is there and he gets asked what his 4 favorite films are and he says barbie for one of them and goes "my girlfriend put me on :D" and the internet collapses because luke castellan watched barbie???? AND HE LOVED IT??? truly the love of everyone's life.

#frances replies #poisoned mercury chats

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beebeetheclown · 4 months

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🐝Bee’s Tumblr Sleepover🐝

💟Reblog to join the sleepover and let your mutuals ask you questions💟

I have seen so many ask games and I wanted to make my own because why not? It was hard to think of some that haven’t been used yet but I tried my best! Also feel free to ask me some haha.

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About Me Questions:

🥑 - Morning or night person?

🍒 - Top four Letterboxd films (top four favourite films)?

🍋- Describe yourself with three emojis

🥝 - Describe a mutual/your fav blogger with three emojis

🍉- Do you collect anything? If so, what do you collect?

🍊- What is your fashion style?

🥯 - What’s your favourite meal of the day and why?

🥥 - A food you hate?

🍌 - A song genre you never listen to?

🍐 - If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

🍅 - What is your comfort show/movie?

Writing Questions:

🐶 - Hardest prompt to write about?

🐴 - Do you prefer to write long stories or short stories?

🐸 - How much time in a day do you spend writing?

🐼 - What do you listen to when you write?

🐻 - Favourite thing/prompt to write about?

🐹 - Which character are you currently obsessed with?

🐱 - Which character do you plan to write more for?

🐵 - One writing tip for getting out of a writers block?

🦄 - A character in your fandom you most likely won’t write for?

Sleepover secrets:

❤️ - band/artist who you think is overrated?

🧡 - A genre of music you secretly like?

💛 - A movie/show you hate but everyone else loves?

💚 - What’s a song you know all the lyrics to but are afraid to admit?

💙 - Do you sing or talk to yourself when alone?

💜 - Have you ever ranted out to your pet or a stuffed animal?

🤍 - When was the last time you cried and why?

🤎 - Have you ever lied to a coworker/peer?

#ask game #ask game prompts #bee’s sleepover #about me game #writers ask game

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theres-a-bea · 1 year

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any kdrama recs? i've been binge watching "the last empress" nonstop and im kinda getting tired of it :')

AN ASK !!! i have to warn you tho: i probably have no taste in k dramas cos i just watch whatever seemed interesting in my recommendeds, but here are a bunch of shows that i really liked in no particular order (bc i added a star rating)

(take note: i don't always like them for the plot, sometimes aesthetics is enough for me cos my brain shuts off and forgets there's even a story)

• the glory ★★★★★ (massive slay bc everyone got what they deserved + ha ye sol my queen fucking soloed)

• extraordinary you ★★★★ (idc about the plot of this one, but if you've seen any of my manic 3am tumblr rants you know this is on here for aesthetics and worldbuilding)

• true beauty ★★★ (again, idc about the plot, i'm here for aesthetics. + bonus points to worldbuilding after the universe was officially confirmed to be the same as extraordinary you)

• under the queen's umbrella ★★★★★ (fuck. yeah. i was lowkey scared abt what it was going to be cos when i tell you i went in blind, but yea overall i love love loved it)

• alchemy of souls ★★★★★★ (this, right here, is my shit. world building, magic system, straight up quality organisation, set design, costume design, AWOOGA. historical fantasy always gets me popping my pussy i fucking love this show. still pissed they wasted my heart my wife my sweet angel princess babygirl jin cho-yeon tho)

• business proposal ★★★★ (romcom is not dead. ik it gets a lot of hate cos the plot was rushed and ok sure it's kinda basic and overhyped and basically straight propaganda but i had a proper giggle from this shit. it was funny, and attractive characters have personalities and they actually had more depth than the manhwa. and yes the manhwa sucked cos it may have had more plot but the characters were flatter than in the show)

• summer strike ★★★ (ngl i kinda liked it but it had absolutely ZERO plot. just vibes. lucky it had enough vibes to carry the fucking show cos i would've abandoned it halfway cos literally nothing was going on. if you want to shut your brain off and settle on pure vibe alone go ahead and put this on)

• school 2015 ★★★★ (this actually ate i loved the plot and the characters are a lot more serious than usual k dramas, for a teen drama in 2015 this was a fucking slay, given that 2015 really was kind of the year of teen dramas ngl cos skam came out the same year)

• taxi driver ★★★★★ (no words, just yes. i love justified violence)

• law school ★★★★★ (all you ladies pop your pussy like this shake yo body don't stop don't miss— kim bum has my entire heart my neck my back my pu— yes. kang sol b can step on me and i'd thank her. i fucking love this show. watch it)

• extraordinary attorney woo ★★★★★ (YES !! ABSOLUTELY. I LOVED it. Every character is so well written, plot is well thought-of, and the representation, chefs kiss. they got lesbians in there !! with a happy ending !!! woo to the young to the woo, bitch)

• happiness ★★★★★ (don't you just love it when you get to live with the love of your life pretending yall are married ? i fucking love this show sm. honestly i watched cos i'm absolutely in love with han hyo joo but i ended up sobbing cos i would've just killed myself if i had to deal with the fucking neighbours that they had iesu fucking grist.)

• kingdom ★★★★★★ (as you can obviously see i am a whore for historical fantasy. i do not give six star ratings often but if letterboxd let me i would've given it to this show. zombies, political turmoil, LORE, sexy ass protagonist—idk i'm easily seduced by political leaders actually doing what they're supposed to do, probably bc we don't have any of those where i live)

• revenge of others ★★★★ (i'm afraid to admit that this is the first other thing that i did with my disney plus subscription outside of actual disney-backed content. but i love a good murder mystery. the fact that shin ye eun literally filmed this alongside the glory is insane. kinda sad it's not as gay as you would think it was in the middle)

• all of us are dead ★★★★★ (i forgot to add this but it's ok it's here now. this right here is THE exact situation that i daydreamed about when i was like, eight. idk maybe that's a lil twisted but by god it would bring about a different kind of thrill in my boring ass life. but here it is: high school kids trapped in a school during the zombie apocalypse, the literal plot straight out of my dreams)

i think that's enough to keep someone occupied for a few weeks at least !! thank you for the ask !!!! ok love you

mwa

#trixie talks #k-dramas ! never knew i would b talking about them like this #again i apologise for the basic ass taste cos uhm hahahhahaa i just watch them randomly #happy watching babes i hope you have a great time !!#trixie's asks

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valkaryah · 2 years

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I just want to thank you for having actual good criticism/critique/opinions in general etc

Elvis deserves to have a higher Letterboxd rating period I am actually so pissed and so do many other movies

I'm glad you find some value in my angry 5am movie rants, darling <3 I appreciate the kind words.

There's a lot about the current movie review culture I dislike, a lot. I think earlier today I said something along the lines "film criticism is dead and has been overrun by the scored rating" and what I meant with this is that people seem to care more about a number that ranks a movie than a paragraph or a text where there's some reflection/appreciation about the movie. What seems to matter is the quantitve form and not the qualitive form. And I think rating without an argument to justify it is just a meaningless thing, a meaningless number. I'm interested in the why the movie is good or bad or average. And letterboxd in special pisses me off because most movies's top reviews are just one liners ironic, bad, twitter-ish joke doesn't say anything about the movie itself. It's not a review, it's a bad tweet. I'd prefer a letterboxd top with actual reviews instead of "funny" one liners to a higher rating.

Although I do agree that Elvis letterboxd's rating is too low, but hey, that's letterboxd for you. Being "funny" and up on the social pedestal with "the right stance on x matter" is more important than actual sharing some critical thoughts, I guess because the later actually requires some thinking. And that's what I would like to see: people's actual thoughts and an openess to engage with clear eyes to different stories, directors, subjects and just cinema in general.

And thank you for sending this ask! I love talking about movie stuff, I hope this reply is readable and makes sense, I tried my best but it's nearly 6am here now.

#asks #í went on a rant again oopsie but movies man <3 #and also people man!!! theyre annoying sometimes

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saucy-mesothelioma · 21 days

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It's the film rant that nobody asked for but that you're going to get anyways!

Get ready for a long-ass rant under the cut. If you haven't watched this movie, I HIGHLY suggest you do because I'll be giving some spoilers. However, if you want my propaganda for this movie and don't want to watch a trailer (which you should; I can't stress enough that you go into this movie as blind as you can for the pure comedy of it), here you go:

Holy mother of god, I got hooked in this movie so damn quick. A lot of this stuff is on my Letterboxd review of it, but I know nobody looks at those so I'm doing it here because I can't shut up about it.

For a movie doing a satirical comedy on the political intrigue that took place after Stalin's death and the horrific things he did to his people, this movie is one of the fucking funniest things I've ever seen. Balancing absolutely horrible things with comedy is incredibly hard to well, but this movie nails it. I broke down sobbing with laughter and was genuinely disturbed at specific parts: they played to each other beautifully and never overshadowed the other aspects. I don't even like political intrigue films, but this movie genuinely kept my interest in all of the backstabbing, coups, and manipulation. The twists in tone can be jarring, but that's kinda the whole point. It's so incredibly well done that I can't believe more people talk about it like they do with Jojo Rabbit (which I still need to watch, but I'm waiting on my brother for that). And on that note, this movie makes sure that you are aware that none of these men were heroes, which is something incredibly difficult to do while also attempting to make you you don't hate every character with every fiber of your being. Like they manage to make Nikita Khrushchev of all fucking people likeable. It's genuinely shocking that they managed to do that, but then again he's played by Steve Buscemi so that definitely helps (his reaction to seeing Stalin dead is genuinely so hilarious that I rewatch that bit far more than I'd like to admit). All of the actors manage to bounce off of each other beautifully as well, which not only adds to the comedy but also the political intrigue aspect of the story.

And don't even get me started on the soundtrack because it was so much better than I expected. It does a wonderful job of portraying the militaristic and imperial tones of the film as well as capturing that perfect Russian flair. "Moscow, 1953" and "A Comedy of Terrors (End Titles)" are two of my favorites. "Moscow, 1943" has a beautiful brass motif that I could listen to for hours and "A Comedy of Terrors" is perhaps the song with the most "uplifting" tone to it despite the dark ending of the movie itself with the brutal execution of Lavrenti Beria. I mean talk about a fuckin tonal shift. And apparently the composer Christopher Willis composed music for the 2013 Mickey Mouse cartoon, The Lion Guard, Black Mirror, and Barbie & Her Sisters in the Great Puppy Adventure which is honestly one of the funniest portfolios I've ever seen for a composer since some of those things are definitely not like the others. I've actually listened to this soundtrack a lot while doing my classwork, it's that good.

The Death of Stalin is so much better than I ever expected it to be. It was hilariously dark and a fantastic watch. I could never recommend this movie enough because it really is an experience. If you have even the smallest amount of interest, please try it out because it is more than worth it.

#this movie is fuckin great #please watch it if you can #I swear it's worth it #the death of stalin #meso's movies

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irrelevant-iguanadon · 5 months

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Sup new pinned post hi I'm cordy 👋

I have an art account it's iguanadonart or smth like that u should go follow it fr

Shoot me an ask if u want btw, I like to think I'm pretty chill [UPDATE 1/3/24: I THINK ITS BROKEN ACTUALLY SO UM MAYBE DONT. YOU CAN STILL DM ME OR REPLY TO MY POSTS OR WHATEVER THATS CHILL. I JUST CANT GET TO ANYTHING IN MY INBOX.]

The rest of my online presence

Redbubble: Irrelevant7

Art Account: iguanadonart

Reddit: irrelevant-iguanadon

Twt/X: IrrelevantIguan

Insta: irrelevant.iguanadon

Discord: dm me if u want it

Linktree: irrelevant.iguanadon

**linktree includes the above plus psn, steam, letterboxd, and stash (letterboxd but for games)

ALSO!! This is the link to the Operation Olive Branch spreadsheet if you want to donate :)) 🇵🇸

Anyways um fun facts about me:

Nonbinary/queer/demisexual yeah we love gay ppl

ADHD as fuck (I have the silly)

I'm in college!! So I'm a bit busy sometimes but it's okay!! Anyways I'm a film major (w/ a minor in gender studies) if you were curious

Speaking of I'm generally really really passionate about women's rights/queer rights/sex ed/aspec ed/trans rights so if you ever wanna get me ranting like hell send me an ask asking about something specific regarding those. Just don't be purposefully trying to get me pissed off at you about it plz.

I have some silly hobbies which include art (mostly just pencil/pen doodles and some digital stuff though), plushie making (that one is recent), and video games!! I love video games!!!

I also like fun clothes and outfits but only when it's niceish out, when it's cold I default to sweatpants and a hoodie 💀

Anyways going back to the art stuff I have a redbubble!!! Go buy some stickers or smth if you want!!

Moving On

Fandoms (this is gonna go in depth with each so they are titles for yee so just scroll past the ones u don't care about)

Soulsborne 🗡

I've beaten all of them except for Sekiro and DS2's DLCs (and the DeS remake but I've played the original)

Bloodborne is my favorite (and also favorite game of all time)

Fav characters consist of Lady Maria, Adeline, Simon, The Hunter, Lucatiel, Aldia, Hyetta, Blaidd, Marika, and Rennala

Speaking of, fav ships are (f or nb) hunter x maria, maria x adeline, lucatiel x (f or nb) Bearer of The Curse, and Marika x rennala

Fav bosses: either laurence or orphan of kos, penetrator, manus, smelter demon, sister frieda, and dragon lord

FNaF 🐻

I've been here since before fnaf world, I'm a veteran 💀

Favorite game is 4 but HW1 is better game play wise imo

Big fan of any nightmares, fredbear, springbonnie, rxq, ennard, funtime foxy, and roxy

As for like human characters, I love both movie and game mike, movie Vanessa, Cassie, and game Vanessa's potential

I like a lot of the big fangames a lot too, my favorites being the DSaF series, FNaC 3, and Super Fnaf.

I think the books suck ass (unless they're the logbook or cookbook <3), and the mimic is fucking stupid and should've just been a digital only thing, w/o a physical robot

I'm just salty about security breach in general

Game Theory/Team Theorist

This is Matpat hate free zone!!!

I've been watching his videos since 2015, this man practically raised me

My favorite channels atm are GTLive and Style Theory lol

I actually like his fnaf theories, not necessarily bc I think they're right but bc they're fun and he presents them in an entertaing way lol

Biggest Ash and Amy fan everytime they're in an episode of smth it's slay. Head editor Dan is super cool too.

Best GTLive series/vids are the murder of sonic the hedgehog, JRs, FNaC 3, Bad End Theater, the FNaF lore off, and Trombone Champ

Pokemon ⚡️

First game was white 2 back in like 2014 I think, my first starter was tepig

Favs of each category are emboar for a starter, white kyurem for legend, genesect for mythical, idrc about the ultra beasts, slither wing for paradox, mega lucario, and volcarona overall

Fav human characters are rika, prof sada/ai sada (same for turo), volo, nessa, Lillie and lusamine, ghetsis, N, all of the gen 5 gym leaders tbh

I also like pmd2 a lot!! It's one of my fav games ever actually

Pokemon Rejuvenation ✨️

I haven't played the most recent chapter 💀💀

I love all the characters a ton honestly but I'm the biggest risa raider fan

Sonic 🦔

This is a recent one and my current hyperfixation lol

Favs are Rouge, Blaze, Amy, Shadow, and Espio

Fav ship is blazamy <3 but my fav platonic relationship is rouge and shadow

I'm currently working a couple AUs so maybe those will be a thing on here evntually

No joke got into sonic bc me and my roommate watched the gt live tmosth playthrough together and we both got hyperfixated

Currently working my way through the games!! I just started though so I'm only on sonic adventure 1 and I haven't started the 2d list at all

Also trying to watch the shows but I've only seen the first few mins of X, and a couple Boom eps. I've finished s2 of Prime though!! Excited for 3!!

Also want to eventually read the idw comics but haven't gotten a chance yet.

All sonic girls are Sapphic btw <3

Hatchetfield 🎶

I've watched a few other starkid shows but these are the only ones I've latched on to

I've seen all the content up to this point save hey melissa

alice, bill, grace, steph, lex, hannah, becky, linda, and mrs holloway are my favs

My fav lib is tinky <3

Fav musical is npmd but fav nmt is killer track

Fav starkids are mariah, angela, jon, corey, and curt but all of them are slays fr

Heathers 🍵

I've been here since like late late 2019

Never seen the show but I have seen the off broadway slime tutorial a decent amount and I own a DVD of the movie

I love!!!!! Veronica Sawyer!!!!!

Chansaw if my fav ship by far I love them but McDuke is also slay and there's definitely reason to ship Veronica with almost any other student in that movie save Kurt and Ram lol

Big fan of the AUs where JD and Veronica are platonic besties ngl

Not a huge fan of the West End version though

I didn't know what emoji to out here bro

Sea of Stars 💫

Played it for the first time in December of 2023 and fell in love omg

Seraï is my fav love her <3

Every woman in that game loves women fr

I have lots of thoughts about the bosses I'll post about them someday

God this took me 2 hours I'm gonna go to bed now 💀

#it was time for a new one

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rina-vs-the-backlog-monster · 9 months

Note

either 1 or 3 for the movie asks (depends on if you feel like talking about something you love or ranting about something you hate 😂)

Sure, let's go with #1, I need some positivity in the early morning after insomnia. <3

If we're talking strictly horror, I'd go with Friday the 13th: Part 2. It's the trope slayer and when I did an analysis on slasher movies several years back, it fascinated me with how much is going on in that movie that people just aren't paying attention to. It may not be the best slasher (that's reserved for Dream Home), but the number of times I've watched it is absolutely absurd and it never gets old for me.

If we're talking movies in general, I'll go with Confessions. If you've never heard of it, it's one you need to absolutely go into blind (the Letterboxd linked synopsis is actually good about keeping it pretty spoiler-free). I'd love to gush about it, but that would require dropping some major spoilers all over the place. Some other honorable mentions for favorites would include Aliens and Game Night.

I'd like to also answer #3, but that's tough because I've watched so many movies that I've dug deep into the badness, I could probably drop a ton of movies that hurt my soul. I guess the easiest thing I could do is link two of my first reviews I dropped on LBXD, as both were half-star reviews. Click on those links at your own peril! And thanks for asking me about something, that was fun to respond to! <3

#ask game #asks #answered asks #get to know me #ask away

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helmutlahng · 2 years

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Indah Khayalan, it means a beautiful dream.

Allow me to briefly introduce myself. My name is Jelita Philippa Ilhamshah, which you may call me by Jelita or Pippa. She has a deep interest in reading and films. She holds Libra as her zodiac and an INFJ-T as her MBTI type. She speaks fluently in both English and Bahasa Indonesia and currently living her life to the fullest, as she learns to prioritize herself this time. She describes her aesthetic as Old Money, Dark Academia, and the Clean Girl. Her interests are evolving.

Her favorite kind of films are mainly evolves in asian and romance films. At times, she enjoys thriller, horror and biography. Her favorite directors/producers has been Wong Kar Wai, Jean Luc Godard, Martin Scorsese, Christopher Nolan, Steven Spielberg, Bong Joonho, Anna Hui and Hong Sang Soo. While her favorite artists's pieces are by Rina Sawayama, Lewis Capaldi, Frank Ocean, Arctic Monkey, The Beatles, QUEEN and The Weeknd.

Just a few add-ons regarding my account. This is a cyber account with a purpose to search for more amicable peers for friendships. A lot of rants is expected, and would prefer someone who is legal to be a part of a her safe circle. If I softblocked you, there will be a two possibilities — either I’m uncomfortable around you or we just haven’t talked that much. Possibly, use the trigger headline before posting any sensitive contents to your timeline. If you are uncomfortable by my presence, you can simply block me without any explanations needed. More to be added as time goes by, if you have any questions, you are free to reach me out on my Direct Message.

Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/everlastingly

Goodreads: goodreads.com/jelita

Ask Me: retrospring.net/woman

Regards,

Jelita.

0 notes

ms-demeanor · 4 years

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Some meandering thoughts about jokes about rape and cultural changes in the last decade and a half

Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad we’re in a place now where we DO question rape jokes and it would be much harder to get away with “raping Jonah Hill is incredibly amusing” as the center of a scene the way that you could in 2007-2013 but I do kind of feel like we don’t talk about how sudden that change was enough.

People talk about how you should have always known that awful things are awful but if you’re surrounded by rape jokes and pedophilia jokes all the time and that’s what’s funny to the other kids around you and the adults in your lives and what makes up the jokes in the movies you watch then it’s hard to act like you always knew it was wrong.

Dead baby jokes were a HUGE thing when I was a teen and in my early twenties and sitting around swapping dead baby jokes was just a thing we did, and tossed in among them were things like:

A joke about incest with the punchline “Get off me pa, you’re crushing my smokes.”

This joke about a pedophile murdering a child.

Let’s not turn this rape into a murder.

And hell, look at the activity graph for “soap on a rope” on urban dictionary:

2014 starts a significant taper.

Letterboxd has their “sexual assault against men played for comedy page” and if you sort by release date there’s a downward trend with 2014 as a really stand-out year for rape jokes about men in popular movies:

2010 - 10

2011 - 12

2012 - 14

2013 - 12

2014 - 18 (jesus, which includes a prison rape joke in “Paddington”)

2015 - 9

2016 - 9

2017 - 11

2018 - 15

2019 - 4

2020 - 1

(this is of course with the caveat that this is only what has been documented so far)

Shock porn sites used to be a thing and they used to be a COMMON thing. A thing that would get remixed and have late night hosts make jokes about them and that got parody music videos.

So on the one hand I was really glad that in 2010 the hacker conference WASN’T asking me to make a rape joke on their tee shirt, but since Pool 2 Girl came up at every single “this is what defcon is about” discussion and some of the guys from the con had printed up “lemonparty.org” stickers to slap up around town it wouldn’t have been *surprising* if they’d been asking for that.

If you were a teenager in 2005 would you have known how much of a dick move goatse-ing people was? We didn’t have the same culture of trigger warnings (not that I disapprove of trigger warnings, they are good and I like them) and there was very much an attitude online at the time of “if you can’t handle it log off.”

I think the fappening was the turning point for a lot of this stuff - I think that was a big cultural moment that changed a lot of people’s attitudes really quickly and I’m seeing echos of that with what Chris Evans is dealing with right now: people are a lot faster to say “oh, that sucks, don’t be an asshole, report people for posting the pics” while I remember sitting and arguing in an imgur thread because there were a bunch of people saying “if you don’t like it don’t take nudes” about the celebrities who got caught in the icloud leak.

People look at Shane Dawson’s (admittedly gross and incredibly inappropriate) behavior with a poster of Willow Smith and act like it’s unprecedented***** but as someone who remembers not only Olsen Eighteenth Birthday countdowns but ALSO the jokes about fucking the Olsen twins that came BEFORE they were legal that’s just bizarre. Seeing people my age and older react to James Gunn’s pedophilic twitter jokes like they’re worse than Jay Leno’s jokes about Michael Jackson (which were made on TV! Across America! On a major network!) is just. It’s bizarre.

I’m glad we are where we are now, I’m glad that making rape jokes in public or jokes about incest or pedophilia (or murder or abortion) is less common and less okay (especially in children’s media, jesus fuck) and more likely to get criticized.

But I’m also pretty sure I’m going to get called a rape apologist by *someone* for saying “2010 was a different time, rape jokes were more common and we didn’t realize how shitty it was” when it really was a different time and rape jokes were more common and most people didn’t realize how shitty it was. I sure didn’t. I do now, and I’m glad I do now. But pretending that we should have ALWAYS known this, pretending that this was NEVER acceptable, pretending that it WASN’T a different time is ignoring the fact that for over a decade there was an entire genre of pedophilic rape jokes (that were frequently also racist) centered around one celebrity and that people told these jokes in public and in pop culture *all the time.*

Does that make it right? Fuck, I don’t know, shit is relative. It was still largely acceptable to electrocute gay kids and people tossed around the word “faggot” pretty freely. Mean Girls is full of jokes about how awful it is for people to think you’re a lesbian and Superbad is full of jokes about getting people shitfaced so they’ll sleep with you (so date rape) and there’s an entire “cute comedy” from the 80s starring Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn that’s an extended rape-by-fraud joke. I think that as a whole we’re better now as people than we were in 2010 and the 90s and the 80s and the 50s and I don’t think that someone who made a sexist joke in the 80s is irredeemably evil and I don’t think people making rape jokes in the 2010s are rape apologists in 2020 and I wish there was a lot more understanding of both history and nuance in these conversations.

*****to be very, very clear Shane Dawson has been filmed kissing underage fans on the mouth and having explicit sexual conversations with his very young cousin - Dawson has done things that go beyond “inappropriate” and fall clearly into “wrong” “bad” “dangerous” “illegal” etc, which is all the more reason that it’s so strange to see people focusing on him fake masturbating on a poster of Willow Smith. YES doing that was gross but why is it even being compared to the way he’s been filmed interacting with fans? The lack of nuance, making “fake masturbating at a poster” and “creating a sexually abused puppet character” the same as “inappropriately touched and kissed minor fans and engaged a young child in explicit sexual conversations” is NOT GOOD. That is a bad thing. Two of those things are tasteless and two of those things are actively harmful and it’s the actively harmful stuff that we should be focusing on and part of why it’s really weird to see shit like “pizzagate conspiracist accuses James Gunn of making inappropriate jokes” like yes Gunn please don’t but can we maybe refocus and talk about the dude who can be pretty significantly assigned blame for a fucking shooting? https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/01/james-gunn-alt-right-marvel-film-director-tweets

Actually, you know what, I thought I was done ranting, I’m not.

It’s purity culture.

YES you should attempt to do less harm with your language, YES you should attempt to not use slurs, YES you should try to avoid making rape jokes. But there’s an entire huge group of people who are willing to drag up rape jokes from a decade when rape jokes were REALLY REALLY common in order to say that nothing you say or do today matters.

And that same group is ALSO really interested in expanding the concept of what pedophilia is to include age differences in adults or liking the wrong style of drawing and it’s a purity culture silencing tactic and can we PLEASE stop pretending that gross, tasteless jokes are the same thing as actually sexually abusing people? Can we stop pretending that pointing out “rape jokes were more common fifteen years ago and I feel bad about it but that’s just the way it was and I don’t make jokes like that anymore” is the same as saying “rape isn’t bad and you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.”

It’s always good to try to be a less shitty human but if you’re only allowed to grow and improve and be less shitty if you never fucked up in the first place then it’s all just calvinist bullshit and none of us could ever really be saved in the first place.

I dunno, dudes. We got so careful about disapproving of the wrong kind of language that we let a white supremacist concern troll Disney into firing a director who caught the attention of the alt right by shit-talking the president.

I think perhaps we need to reexamine some strategy here.

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girlhorrror · 2 years

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ok tell me about ur top 5 movies that u have reviewed on letterboxd

ooh okay i can do this one! i’m going to talk about my 4 profile favourites first so: the shining is my easy answer when people ask my favourite horror movie but i think it’s more that it’s one of the only ones that’s ever scared me. i rewatch it once every october and am always just astounded like i know it’s a classic but like yeah it’s really really good. i really like isolation as a topic for horror to explore and then also mixed with the dysfunctional family relationship which is another media favourite of mine. i hate that i like kubrick movies i would kill that man with my own two hands for how he treated shelley on this set but that’s like a whole rant for another post. jennifer’s body is The epitomy of girl horror movies for me because it was the first one that i like consciously watched. there’s a handful of jokes in it that i wish were never written but i guess that’s to be expected with 2000s horror comedies like what an awful decade. i watched this movie for the first time in like 6th grade and it’s probably why i’m gay now. but like again with the toxic homoerotic female friendship i’m just obsessed with complicated relationships in movies especially when they’re like this. and also megan fox eating boys so… that’s sexy. harold and maude is the most recent watch on this list. i watched it for a paper i never turned in class and i was sobbing like basically the entire time. something about this fucked up depressed guy falling in love with the world around him especially through someone who is already in love with it connects with me sooo much for some reason depression. highly highly recommend this one so long as you can handle suicide imagery. the lighthouse is my pretentious art horror pick sorry, i have a weakness for maritime horror because the island i’m from has a really big fishing industry/culture so i’ve been surrounded by that kind of stuff since i was a kid and so haunted lighthouses and spooky sea creatures have been festering in my brain for years. i’m also just obsessed with spooky history in general so i really really love the period detail and accuracy robert eggers puts into his movies. it’s also like, a good movie on its own too. i don’t know why some people hate this one so much. and we have the theme of isolation and toxic relationships coming up again maybe there’s something wrong with me. for my 5th pick i’m going to throw in the original halloween because it’s my favourite slasher movie. i think it’s the simplicity that makes this one work so well for me. like for a slasher movie it’s incredibly reserved (contrast to like, nightmare on elm street for example) but still manages to be iconic. it helps too that my dad really loves old slashers so our main form of like “bonding” is watching them and this was one that stuck with me. there’s also an alternate version of mikey who lives in my brain and is my best friend and doesn’t kill me and i have to keep him on a leash so he doesn’t kill anyone else either

#this is like Insane of me #if you ask me about a movie i will simply never shut up

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melanchonim · 3 years

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a thread of my favorite films since 1990:

1991: raise the red lantern (zhang yimou)

runner up: silence of the lambs (jonathan demme)

zhang yimou is literally unmatched. the best out of his fifth-generation peers, he delivers every. single. time.

gong li is absolutely gorgeous as always, we stan. personally i would have massaged her feet with that little bell thing no questions asked but that’s just me, anyways...

the beauty of this film is not hard to find. the saturation of colors, especially red and blue in this movie are so utterly satisfying to watch even if you begin to dread those lanterns as the movie approaches its chilling conclusion. the wives' biting dialogue laden with disdain and hidden threats are cleverly accompanied with the creepy atmosphere building that permeates like a heavy fog are only compounded when you realize that there is hardly any music.

rant: while researching for this movie i came across a letterboxd review that said yimou was basically pandering to a white, orientalist audience by exaggerating gong li's character, song lian, as a conservative and all too willing housewife. that her insisting upon herself a stifling marriage by dropping out of college and becoming the fourth mistress in a wealthy household is disingenuous. that apparently yimou painted a lovely fantasy land (a la memoirs of a geisha) which perpetuates a socially backward yet exotic country that any white man with a mild interest in the east would find appealing... spoiler alert until end of paragraph; my question to that reviewer is how tf can u not tell that that was satire? it was song lian's decision that landed her misfortune and hardships that could have otherwise been avoided. it was her insistence to play the role of a suffocated mistress in a strict Chinese household system (that frankly never existed, wives may have had to bend to their husband's will but they also had a level of autonomy which was necessary in order to run an entire estate) that landed her in direct opposition to the other mistresses of the house. and it was her choice to rat out the one person who could relate to her experience that caused her to spiral into insanity. yimou used song lian as an analogue for those politicians who insisted on returning back to feudal or warring period China after the fall of the old communist party. the focus on the hellish life of a mistress was not crafted to cater to a white audience but instead was a direct insult against those who claimed that the post-Mao China should be based on the ideals of a glorified, male-dominated society that can never be returned to. the whole point of the movie is to show that the lack of solidarity between the women in order to pander to the master parallels the breadcrumbs that heads of state give to the people in order to make them fight amongst themselves and distract them from the larger systemic oppression. end of rant:

alas, politics and history aside, raise the red lantern is a gorgeous film with beautifully symmetrical shots that would make wes anderson cry. most importantly the moody yet apprehensive atmosphere that imprisons the main characters and enraptures audiences is why i personally chose this over one of my favorite suspense movies of all time.

tbh its not a movie i'd recommend to anyone bc it does take quite a dark turn but if you have two hours to spare and you're in the right state of mind pls watch it! its free on youtube ;)

#raise the red lantern #zhang yimou #film #1991

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jeffreycombs · 4 years

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Absolutely dying to hear a good rant about Crash 🚗🔥

If you're asking to hear my thoughts, I thought it was brilliant cinema. I read lots of reviews on letterboxd that complain about it's fetishization and lack of plot but I don't agree, it was one of the most gratifying and refreshing cinematic experiences I've had in a while. I liked it so much it inspired me to make a new list of films on my Letterboxd

#inbox #anon #crash 1996 #<3

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letterboxd · 5 years

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Love: Anton.

“Anyone that has a creative bone in their body can relate to him and will be inspired to do more.” As the documentary Love, Antosha comes to streaming services, filmmaker Garret Price talks to us about his directorial debut, and what made Anton Yelchin a once-in-a-generation talent.

When Star Trek star and indie film hero Anton Yelchin died in a tragic accident in June 2016 he was just 27 years of age. At the time, he had been preparing his directorial debut, Travis. The feature-length documentary Love, Antosha isn’t interested in exploring Yelchin’s death, however. It is a film about his life, about his boundless talent, which would have led to a long and varied creative career, and about the effect he had on his fellow cast and crew, including Kristen Stewart, Chris Pine and the late Martin Landau.

The deep well of footage in the film was collected throughout Anton’s life by his parents, the Russian-Jewish couple Irina Korina and Viktor Yelchin. They were star figure-skaters for the Leningrad Ice Ballet for fifteen years, before migrating to America to escape religious persecution. Anton was terribly close to his parents and the film takes its title from the sign-off he used in his affectionate letters to his mother.

Love, Antosha premiered to glowing praise from fans and film lovers at the 2019 Sundance Film Festival and again upon its August cinematic release. “This is the only time I’ve fully sobbed in theaters,” Letterboxd member Steven Thomas wrote. While “it [may] not be reinventing the wheel or doing anything new” said Mitchell Beaupre, “it is a really touching and impactful tribute to a tremendous actor, and by all accounts a tremendous person.”

Yelchin’s parents first approached director Drake Doremus to make the documentary, because he had grown close to Anton after the Sundance 2011 smash Like Crazy. Doremus, whose new film Endings, Beginnings had its world premiere at TIFF 2019, felt the project needed a more objective eye. He pulled in Garret Price—primarily known as a film editor for documentaries such as The Director and the Jedi and Janis: Little Girl Blue—with the idea that it would be the perfect project for Price’s first time as a director.

We talked to Garret Price on the eve of the film’s streaming launch.

This film is a celebration of Anton Yelchin’s life, but the knowledge of his death certainly haunts the film. How early on in the process did you decide to not focus on his death until the closing minutes? Garret Price: From the beginning. As I started digging in and learning about him, then talking to everybody, I knew this was a movie about life and how short it is. To me, the death is part of the story, but it’s not what the story is.

I didn’t know Anton, so I was learning about him as I was making this film, and I had to start at the beginning to understand who he was. There were surprises around every corner for me and I wanted to reflect those surprises in the film itself, for people who don’t know much about him, and add layers to somebody who’s already a layered individual.

What do you think it was about Anton that made him stand out in his generation as an actor so uniquely identifiable? As you say, he’s a generational talent. I don’t think you can say he’s just a natural performer. He put the work in. He just studied everything. Anyone that has a creative bone in their body can relate to him and will be inspired to do more like he did.

Also, he never wanted to be the star. He would just be at peace with it all. He was always looking under the hood, constantly talking to the production assistants, the gaffers, the directors of photography, the first assistants. He learned a lot on set.

In the film, Anton rants to his camera about how “you don’t get to make the cinema you want to make”. Is this a sentiment you largely agree with? Yep. Though for him, I don’t think it was necessarily a ‘one for me, one for them’ type thing. He loved making movies. A lot of those bigger films he made did afford him to take more risky projects that were personal, but at the same time it’s tough when you’re putting all this work in and no-one’s seeing it, or it gets bad reviews. It’s gonna eat you alive inside a little bit.

That’s what I loved when we got Willem Dafoe talking about him, because they’re very similar. Willem shared the same feelings, about how just because you take the road less travelled doesn’t mean it’s the road to travel. I think it’s a perfect way to sum up the feelings Anton felt about his choice of projects.

Along with his provocative photography hobby, he was starting to choose melancholic, seedier projects such as Only Lovers Left Alive and Green Room. What do you think drew Anton to the darker side of life? He loved people of all walks of life. He just really latched onto all of the stories and he wanted to find a way to express them. So many people I’ve talked to in this process, especially his friends, would tell me how he would just stop to talk to anyone in the street and ask them questions. He was so present and such a listener.

It’s something about the people’s stories that you don’t get to hear about that he was drawn to, and one way of getting closer to them was the photography. He was taking photographs his whole life but never considered himself a photographer, just like he never considered himself a musician. It was just another outlet for him to express himself.

I assume you watched all of his films. Which was the most impressive of Anton’s performances for you? The one that gutted me the most was Alpha Dog. It’s such an amazing performance. He was fifteen years old at the time and in the documentary we show Anton getting drunk and filming himself to prepare for that role. I was like “wow”.

He was having these life experiences, like getting drunk or having his first kiss on set. He’s a coming-of-age story through the love of making movies and that really interested me. For me, Green Room was showing who he would become as an actor in the years to come. It breaks my heart he couldn’t do that. Also: don’t tell Drake I chose Green Room.

Do you know if there are intentions to complete Anton’s Travis film? Would that simply be too personal for anyone to take over? It’s only 50 pages long and the rest of the movie is in Anton’s head, so he’s the only person who could finish it. Everything he ever did in this business was leading up to directing and if he were alive today he would already have done twenty more movies. He was so prolific.

The late Anton Yelchin, subject of ‘Love, Antosha’.

These types of home-video documentaries should become easier to make with the advent of constant cell-phone footage. But on the other hand, I can’t imagine it having the same warmth as the physical video of the 1990s and early 2000s. How do you feel about the way technology shifts the feel of footage after a certain point in time? I think now, with cellphones, people are always performing, so it doesn’t feel real and authentic compared to the footage I’ve had to work on, even from fifteen to twenty years ago. There’s much more of an emotional connection to these home videos, and not just of Anton, of all of us.

There’s too much narcissism now with selfies and stuff like that. It was a different time with more true-to-life moments. You couldn’t just delete something and do it over and over again until it’s perfect. You weren’t meant to do that, and that’s the beauty of it. I can’t imagine making a portrait-type movie for this generation with the same emotion.

Do you intend to make fiction films or remain a documentarian? I’m an editor by trade. I probably do more fiction than I do documentaries. I’ve been working as a film and TV editor for fifteen years and I go back and forth. I actually think they inform each other, and that freedom is making me a stronger filmmaker.

A lot of fiction films are becoming more documentary-esque, and documentaries are becoming more like fiction films. People like to pigeon-hole certain types of filmmakers and that’s crazy; it’s all storytelling.

What was the film that made you want to make films? That’s tough. Almost Famous was the one that made me think ‘I wanna make movies’. I think that’s my favorite movie of all time. It has everything I like about filmmaking.

‘Love, Antosha’ is available to rent and buy on iTunes and other streaming platforms. Garret Price’s Letterboxd profile is here.

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shyanlibrary · 6 years

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I was scrolling through your blog and you mentioned that faq doesn't work for Android and I have an android so could you please tell me the gist of what I should know? Thanks!!

Okay, so:

~ To know before asking

English is my second lenguage and I’m latina. Sorry for any mistakes I may make with my english and my different time zone.

I have read ALL finished fanfictions tagged under Ry*n B*rg*ra/Shan* M*dej tag at AO3 posted until feb. 14, 2018. I read everything that calls my attention in the tag from that day on.

I have my preferences and I have not read certain fics that may trigger old traumas and etc. Personal preferences are listed here.

Most recs I do are personal and come from my favorite fanfictions in the fandom. I’m a very picky person, so what I may like, you may not. I will not tolerate any kind of hate because of this.

Hate speech of any kind and “anti” sentiments are NOT welcome in this blog. I will never support the bullying and self-righteous feeling some members in certain portions of the fandom may post in the tags.

I only read shyan fanfics and I’m not into polyam. This doesn’t mean these kind of fics aren’t allowed in this blog, just that I won’t be reading them.

This also means platonic stuff will NOT be listed here, since this blog is dedicated to the romantic aspect of this dynamic, as already pointed out by the shipname SHYAN.

I believe all fics deserve exposure, but for safety and the purpose of this blog some may not be listed here.

~ Won’t be on this blog

Contains narrative, dialogues, tropes and speech born from racism, homophobia, transphobia, any kind of hate speech.

Platonic works crosstagged in the Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej tag. Exceptions: Pre-slash and queerplatonic.

Shipping works crosstagged in the Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej tag, since we should not be the problem by invading spaces that does not belong to us.

The author is a known bully, guilt trips other people into doing things for them, is a racist, homophobic, fetishist, abuser, toxic member of the fandom.

Feminization that isn’t born from a kink explored in the story is also not welcomed and will not be encouraged.

Contains queerbaiting.

Fetishises the relationship or one of the boys in any way, especially Ryan.

Abusive relationships that stay that way, especially between the boys.

Contains non-con, underage, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, especially between the couple.

Exposes a kink or dynamic that is not abusive in real life in an abusive way. This applies especially with BDSM fics. Works that expose the dynamics in a negative way without this being part of the story, aka makes believe the reader is a positive rep, are not allowed in this blog.

~ Frequently Asked Questions

Do you know this one fic…?

If you want me to find you a fic you read a long time ago and you can’t remember the name or author, please tell me as much as you can about it and I will try to find out which one is. In case I can’t, I will make you a list with options that may be.

Before sending this, PLEASE, check the finds tag to know if someone else has already asked about it.

I don’t read watpatt fics, only AO3 and tumblr fics.

You think I should post my fic?

DO IT. All authors deserve exposure and I will support you as much as I can. I will read your fic, I will comment it, I will rec it.

You gotta realize that this fandom is small and very nice; people do care about their writers and try their best to leave feedback and is very, very rare that someone would leave a bad comment.

I understand the fear of posting, believe me I do, but I want you to know that you are not alone and you will find your own public, there is always a reader for each author.

What’s the most famous fic in the fandom?

No such thing, to be honest.

But the most hitted and kudoed fanfc in the tag is Foolish Mortal by ghostwheeze, most commented fic is A Ghoul’s Guide to Life, Death & Afterliving by MercurySkies, and most bookmarked fic is two to fall apart by literalmetaphor.

Fics I’ve seen more recommended in lists and so are Foolish Mortal by ghostwheeze (which isn’t actually shyan– it’s platonic, by the way. But even though the author told this in the story, people still considers it a shyan story, so I’m torn if I should keep including it or not. Let me know what you think), be all my sins remembered by spoopyy (in which Shane is a vampire), Oblivion by InkStainsOnMyHands and contrapposto by spoopyy.

Would you recommend me a fanfic about…?

Here is my personal rec list: post | page. I also check my rec lists masterpost with all the list I’ve made.

Would you read my fanfic?

Please, first read this little page and then, if your fic doesn’t contain any of these things, go ahead, send me a link and I will happily read it.

Can I rec you/your followers a fic?

Sure, submit your fic rec here (and remember to follow the rules). If you don’t know how to submit, visit this page. Do not rec platonic stuff, this is a blog for shyan. Means romantic dynamic.

Allowed kind of platonic: queerplatonic and pre-slash (meaning It is known and obvious they will eventually land into a relationship).

I don’t want my fanfic in your blog.

That’s fine. Just tell me which one is and you won’t see it ever again over here.

Why do you call yourself Nini from Fandom Resources?

My friend, Beru (yaboimadej), always called me Fandom Resources Girl before we became friends while in another fandom. I’m someone who loves to help, and every time someone had a doubt about something in that one old fandom, I tried to help them no matter what.

When I started to do the same in the BFU fandom, she started to call me ‘Nini from BFU Fandom Resources’ and here we are.

Which of the boys is your favorite?

I love both of them, but maybe Ryan is ultimately my “favorite”. Yet, I’m a little more sexually attracted to Shane. Probably because he is the type of man I usually date. My current boyfriend is a 6'4 big guy with sandy blond hair and a devilish smile, so there is that.

What the fuck with the big-dick-Madej thing?

So, abuelas and tías in Mexico say that a man with big hands and big feet have a big dick. In my experience, cocks tend to fit the dude’s body, so me and many other authors came into the conclusion that Shane probably has a fitting cock. And well– he is the Big Guy, you know.

What do you think about their girls?

I respect Sara and whoever Ryan may date in the futre, fanfics that bashes them are not allowed in this blog. I also made a little rant regarding the way outsiders or newies always try to damage our fandom regarding them here.

What else will be in this blog aside from fanfics?

Fanart and edits done for fanfics. In case someone did a fanart and next, an author made a work based on it, it will be reblogged. You will also find prompts, prompts lists, writing memes, writing resources and references that may help for fanfics (aka information about the boys and their work).

Also, I will be reblogging the videos of the episodes and other “official” stuff of BFU and/or the boys.

Can I tag you in my fanfic?

Yes. You can mention the blog or you can tag the blog in your first five (5) tags of your post, and I will reblog it here and (maybe, unless you ask me to) read it.

Tag tag the blog as #shyanlibrary NOT #shyan library, please.

Do you enjoy doing this?

I love it. Please never stop writing and/or supporting fanfiction.

Do you write BFU fanfics?

I do! My AO3 profile is here. Right now, I’m busy with life and other sutff, but I do have plenty of ideas you can check out here.

Other social media I can find you in?

yaboybergara | twitter | letterboxd | instagram

Nina, can you help me with something else?

Fandom related? Of course. Please check this tag with all the thingys I have helped with on my main blog, and if your thingy is not there, send me a message at yaboybergara and I see what I can do.

I help finding information, videos, icons, screencaps, etc.

Writing? Send me a message and let me see what I can do. You can send me your ideas, fic or drafts at the Library’s e-mail. Send me a message for it.

Personal? I’ll try my best.

#answered #blog #faq #literaly lol #Anonymous

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