#my baby doesnt hit for shit and my girl was missing hits and my dog biting whatever the fuck

[anthroparian]

girls night

#from earlier #um. i died to cavemama so i lost doggy and have to go back and get her again #knew cahara would fuck off it was still kind of funny i didnt know it was as soon as zone change. #His patches like nature. my hot take #thats such a good character though its really funny to me i love.going yeah ill trust you buddy youd never wrong me. #OP #lp #g: f&h #i think ill go to whats presumably the mines instead of trying to fight cavemama because non controllable dog is a bit annoying for that #my baby doesnt hit for shit and my girl was missing hits and my dog biting whatever the fuck

[thecelestial-art]

ok but like, here me out,,,,, avatar high school au but its just me projecting my personality and trauma

my instagram

Aang

Freshman

He's trying his gosh darn hardest

The group baby

Appa is a therapy dog so he spends the day with gyatso in his classroom :)

Hes a saint bernard 

The best man

Despite katara being the ‘mom friend’ he runs the god damn show

Momo is a shit head sphinx cat 

The gang dropped movie nights for “knitting nights” so they could all learn to knit him sweaters

Hes very fashionable

he hates it

sokkas best friend

Aang makes costumes so when halloween comes around momo is very scary as dorothy 

Track and field babey

Does not curse

He has a hard time keeping up with world events

Straight (i'm not wrong)

he and toph have an ongoing tradition of going in full dress to waffle house before school dances. 

it got to the point where now all the workers know them by name

they also accidentally crashed a white lotus meeting and just kept going

Azula

Band kid

Sophomore

Rich girl with 2 friends

Pre eng

i know most schools dont have this program, but mine did and holy shit. those were some overachievers 

The most annoying mf on the planet

Not a single teacher likes her

The know it all that will fight if you don't agree with the facts

She was the ww2 kid

Capitalist in the worst fucking way

Closeted lesbian, when she figures that shit out she gets a lil better

The one who can drive

Mai

Bisexual

She's really good at math?? Like shes the gay who can do math

But cannot drive, bitch failed her permit more times than she can count

She nearly went to an all girls boarding school at one point

Sophomore

Colorguard!!

She has beat the shit out of people she's walked in on making out in the bathroom

Genuine friends with the faculty??

She takes programming/coding as a filler class but she's pretty good and continues to pursue it.

Her tumblr looks sick as hell

has caused a teacher to cry

Ty lee

Bisexual

Lesbian earings actin mf

Sophomore

Cheerleader

She is the nicest mother fucker and everyone loves her

Despite acting like an airhead she's really science orientated

When she takes biology she passes with flying colors

Very invested in social justice

She would never hurt a fly but she will fuck you up

The one with a healthy relationship with her father

has comforted a teacher she found crying in the parking lot

Iroh

Now runs the jasmine dragon where zuko works after school w/ katara 

Knows every single kid who comes in and tries his hardest to make sure everyone feels appreciated

Former war criminal

In a book club

The white lotus? Yeah this is the white lotus

Idk if it would be the same as the show, or if its just an old person shit talking group

Zuko

Junior

His dad got full custody of him and his sister when he divorced their mom

But at 13 he got kicked out for another bullshit reason and ever since Iroh has had custody of both of the siblings

But bitch boy ozai has visitation rights but only wants to see azula

Theatre kid!!

I mean he was gonna join jrotc to appease his dad but he figured his shit out before he really joined

A republican turned leftist

Hes queer he just doesnt know which label to use

Himbo rights

He and katara are best friends idgaf about ships but they are bros

orchestra kid! (yes this is me self projecting bc we have similar trauma) 

Violist 

Teachers have no idea what to do with him bc on one hand he's very reclusive and on the other his sister has the worst opinions so they don't know

Katara

Sophomore 

Still the mom friend but this time she goes to therapy

Bc she literally raised her brother after her mother died?? And then became a parental figure to her FRIENDS???

Biggest political activist, genuinely does her best at educating herself and others about civil injustices

Also really obsessed with cults and true crime

Choir kid

She takes AP history, english, and second language classes

Is trying her hardest in math and sciences

Huge stuffed animal collection

Student council vice president

she originally ran for president but jets gang voted him in as a joke

The teachers pet

Swim team bitches

Best friends with the school janitors

This is my au so fuck off she and zuko are chaotic friendgroup parents and annoying best friends i love them

and maybe something more???

 who fucking knows theres a betting pool in the white lotus and so far aang is winning 

Sokka

Junior

Bisexual

Gym and History teachers LOVE him

On the swim team and the fishing team

Started crying when he took his drivers test

Goes to gsa w/ toph and loses his fucking mind

He's the reason suki’s car is disgusting

In all advanced/ap classes in math and science

Was the kid who carries a portable speaker around until suki put him in his place

Still has to use his hands to figure out left and right

Yue

Technically she doesn't go to school with them she goes to a nearby private school

She met the gang at a football game and has been invited to every group outing since

Junior!!

Very invested in world politics

When she joins the group at school events she ends up making friends with all the staff

Debate team kid!!!

She's not a rule breaker she just knows their limitations ;)

at one point missed school for like 2 months and everyone thought she died

turns out it was just fucking pneumonia and sokka is one dirty liar

Suki

oh? you mean yue’s best friend bc we dont respect pitting women against each other in this household?

Junior

Bisexual icon!!!

Oh god what sport would she do??

Probably basketball??

Or she would just do martial arts outside of school

And have a ‘female empowerment’ club or somethin

100% believes in self government in society and that the current gov exists purely on the theory that all humans are inherently evil

Bitch for bernie

Her car is DISGUSTING

She asks if she can hit peoples juul and then throws it in the trash

The gym coaches really like her but she fucking hates them

Is very close with her school counselor??

She never wants to run but she keeps getting elected to homecoming court

Toph

Freshman 

Former homeschool bitch

Joined the wrestling team and the fishing team??

She doesn't even like fishing she just thinks it's hilarious 

Very good a pottery and that's her arts credit

She and iroh have lunch together every thursday

If she catches wind of you putting gum on desks they will find your body in a ditch

She makes sokka and suki take her to prom 

She hates it she just likes to fuck with people at prom

Sometimes she just tells people she doesn't believe in something bc she cant see it

has been wearing the same sandles for the past 3 years bc “they’re reliable”

Cryptid hunter

Goes to gsa bc its better than any fucking reality tv show

Has nearly burnt the house down making ramen

#do i find myself so fucking funny? yeah.... #might fuck around and do something w/ this who knows #guess which of these are things ive actually done #aang #azula #tylee #mai #tyzula #mailee #iroh #zuko #zutara #taang #katara #jasmine dragon #sokka #yue #suki #sukka #toph #toph beifong #artists on tumblr #digital art #my art #fan art #avatar the last airbender #atla #momo #appa

[thearcana-junkie]

He Doesnt Get Mad. He Gets Even.

Pairing; Asra X MC

Type; Funny//Angsty

WARNINGS; Angry Asra. Revenge. Name calling.

Authors Notes(?);

* Valerian root is known to have sedative effects, which is one reason it's used for insomnia. However, using valerian may lead to vivid dreams or even nightmares in some people.

Long-ish fic under the cut.

--------------------------------

Asra doesn't get angry, or at least you've never seen him get angry— actually, that's not true. You've seen him mad, agitated, annoyed. But this Asra, The one standing in front of your that was absolutely fuming to the point you could feel it in his magic aura. You were absolutely shocked to the point you weren't even paying attention to the person his anger was directed at. It all happened so fast too.

Today was one of those days— The ones where you kinda had your head in the clouds and didn't really pay attention which was fine since it was a very slow day with customers. Most just wanted a certain herb or pre-made potion you had on the shelves.

One guy though, this guy who already seemed in a bad mood, he came in. "I need a potion." He asserted as soon as he came in, his voice jarring you from your thoughts. "Hm? Yeah, sure what kind?" You asked in a rather bored tone. "A sleeping potion." He replied that would explain why he seemed to grouchy. You could tell by his aura, his tone of voice, the way he stood so stiff and crouched like he was a snake ready to strike at the first dumb comment.

Luckily you knew exactly where these were so he would be out of your head, You turn and skim over the cabinet your eyes landing where the potion should have been.

That right, you'd sold the last one earlier to a girl with bags under her eyes.

You sighed through your nose, you'd have to make a new one meaning the longer he was here. Just his presence turned your mood. "I'll have to make a new one." You stated, "Well get on with it you don't need to ask permission." He retorted with a snarl like a dog. You just rolled your eyes at the comment giving him the benefit of the doubt, he was tired.

You had made these potions all the time since Julian was a regular when he wasn't at Mezlinka's house and didn't have her special soup he came here to get a potion. You could make this potion with your eyes closed— or so you thought.

You began adding ingredients needed, halfway through you got lost in thought again. You finished it quicker than normal and handed it to the man who paid and left.

That was that, you wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.

The next day your head was firmly on your shoulders unlike the day before. You were more grounded and paid more attention. Today Asra was upstairs asleep since he and you had stayed up last night rolling around in the sheets, you didn't blame him for sleeping in since he worked really hard.

While you were restocking some potions that had run out. You heard the bell ring and turned around to see a familiar grouchy face from the day before. "You lying witch!" He snapped as he slammed the door behind him. You grabbed one of the potions that had fallen off the shelf from the jarring slam. Your eyebrow raised and you gave a confused expression along with a "Huh?".

"That potion you gave me yesterday made me have nightmares all night! Some sleeping potion! You shouldn't be allowed to sell fake potions!!" He all but yelled as he put the empty potion bottle on the counter. You reached over and grabbed it, you took a whiff and you were instantly hit the strong smell of Valerian root*. That would explain a lot. You stuck your finger in and scooped up some of the liquid left and tasted it, you cringed. That's now how it's supposed to taste. It was missing ingredients.

"Ah, Sorry I made it wrong yesterday." You hummed with a happy expression, you not faltering to his aggressiveness made his blood boil more so than before.

Soft thumps came from the stairs as a tired Asra walked down to see al the commotion.

"Here you can have some of the new ones I made this morning. On the hous-" you were cut off by the man knocking the potion out of your hand. It shattered on the ground, Now this had Asra's attention. What's with this guy?

"I don't want anything from you! If you can't even make a simple potion that is apparently so sought after you had none yesterday then why would I trust any other potions you had. For all I know that could be poison." He raised his voice as he chewed you out for your minor error. This didn't sit well with Asra. "Hey, it was a mistake!" Asra stepped in.

"I suppose you're their boss? How do you manage to hire someone so incompetent and dumb!?" He snapped. Asra narrowed his eyes, the man was insulting you! Who does he think he is to insult someone he loved, someone he adored, someone who he saw as a god among mortals.

Asra's blood boiled in aggression as he stood in front of you. "Oh, I'm so sorry MR perfect! Here have a potion on the house." Asra growled as he grabbed a potion any potion and opened it, he dumped the continents on the man who gasped in shock. "How dare you!?" The man yelled. "How dare me? How dare you! You come in yelling at someone you don't even know over some minor inconvenience, calling them dumb!" Asra snapped with such anger is honestly surprised him.

You'd never seen him so angry, even when fighting Lucio he never got so angry. He was mad sure, and when you first started hanging out with Julian is was annoyed and jealous but this was so much more. His eyes dilated, showing so much aggression they threatened the kill the man with only a glare. His hands in a fist as he held back the urge to just hit the man, just once, he wanted to just once.

"Oh! And if they're the dumb one then maybe you should know that the word Incompetence and DUMB mean the same damn thing, you moron!" Asra added with a snarl. "Get out!!" He snapped as he pushed the man with so much force out the door that seemed to open on it own onto the street. Asra slammed the door shut, not as hard as the man did when he walked in.

Asra was panting softly from all the adrenaline. Your soft touch on his shoulder made him look at you, his expression changing from aggression to a soft one instantly. "Hey." You smiled as if announcing that you there for the first time, and to Asra you were. He hadn't even realized you were in the room when he was yelling. His body swiveled around as he hugged you tightly as if to tell you that everything the man had said was a lie silently.

His hug was also an unspoken promise.

A promise that he'd always protect you whether from a goat demon or from an angry customer.

The rest of the day he closed the shop so he could just lay with you and whisper how much you meant to him. Honestly what the man said didn't even bother you but if this meant Asra would baby you so much you'd gladly be chewed out by any and every customer.

———————————————————————

A few weeks later.

You were in the shop, Asra was reading on the couch. The door opened and the man from a few weeks ago stumbled in. Upon seeing him again you'd expect Asra to be angry but he wasn't, in fact, Asra only looked up from his book momentarily.

The man was stumbling, his eyes had horrible bags under his eyes. "Please! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!!! Please I need sleep!!!" The man all but cried as he laid on the counter staring at you with eyes full of sorrow. "Please take off whatever curse you put on me." He begged.

You raised an eyebrow as you eyed the man. "I didn't..." you mumbled, you noised the necklace around the man's neck that looked familiar, you narrowed you eyes as you reached over and pulled it until the string snapped. You eyed the necklace knowing exactly what was going on. "There, your good to go." You said as you waved the man off. The man quickly left to go home and finally get some sleep.

You walked over to Asra and stood in front of him. "Asraaaa." You scolded. He looked up from his book and at the necklace in your hand with one big Shit-eating grin. "Asra did you have Muriel make a hex charm!" You scudded, he laid his book down and pulled you into his lap laying his head on your shoulder as he pulled your back to his chest. "I assure you I have no idea what you're talking about My love." He said as he smirked softly.

Like I said before, Asra doesn't get mad— He gets even.

———————————————————————

#angry asra #asra x reader #asra x mc #asra x apprentice #asra alzanar #the arcana asra #the arcana game #the arcana mystic romance #funny #angst to funny

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same 

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful 

ill have to google 

serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!! 

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap 

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady 

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock 

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery 

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun 

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

#carol watches fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #carol's remaining brain cells #this is fun for me and no one else #whatever i dont care about anyone else on this website anyway #this is my stupid hole

[prettiestpapiperalta]

oh baby baby!- kid centre drabble prompts

Hi! Okay so i made this lists specifically for me to write about Peraltiago (please leave me suggestion, please I need this) but everyone/ anyone feel like using this list have at it :)

1. “Wait, you want kids?”

2. “Awww look how cute this baby is!”

3. “I’m late”

4. “You used protection right?”

5. “I don’t think I’ll ever want a baby”

6. “Um, why is there a pregnancy test in the trash can?”

7. “I’m pregnant”

8. “Get that pee stick away from me!”

9. “What do two lines mean?”

10. “How much do you want to bet the babies a girl” 

11. “Its a...”

12. “Wow is that the heartbeat?”

13. “Wait is that an arm or a head or a body?” (for an ultrasound)

14. “Look at the baby bump!”

15. “Woah babe, is your stomach moving?”

16. “We are not naming our child that!”

17. “Can I touch the bump?”

18. “I’m as big as a whale!”

19. “Woah babe, you’re huge!”

20. “You know what I’m craving...”

21. “This is going to be a crazy baby shower”

22. “Not if it's my kid, it's not”

23. “My feet hurt”

24. “I can't fit into any of my pants”

25. “I just can't stop sobbing”

26. “Thank god it was just a false call”

27. “I think my water just broke”

28. “I’m never having another kid”

29. “Come on, just push, I believe in you!”

30. “What do you mean you forgot the hospital bag!?”

31. “Woah, I just had a baby...”

32. “Im a mom!” / “I’m a dad!”

33. “It’s your turn to feed the baby”

34. “There name is *insert name*

35. “Holy shit i have a baby”

36. “No-one will ever hurt you kid”

37. “I love you so much right now”

38. “He/She is perfect”

39. “So will you be the Godparents?”

40. “Im so scared im going to fuck this up”

41. “I love baby clothes”

42. “We need to go shopping again?”

43. “Did you hear that?”

44. “Say mama / dada”

45. “Haha i made her/him laugh!”

46 “I cannot believe that was her/his first word”

47. “No don’t say that! Thats a no-no word!”

48. “You’re so stinking adorable”

49. “Your mom/dad is not going to be happy...”

50. “Did she just walk”

51. “It’s dangerous with her/him crawling around every where”

52. “ how are you so fast?”

53. “Just let me call the babysitter one last time..”

54. “Do we look alike?”

55. “Maybe we should go home”

56. “Hey, youre okay”

57. “Mommy/daddy tell me a story”

58. “Its bath time!”

59.”where’s *name’s* Favourite toy?”

60. “Youre going to look so cute when im done with your hair, baby”

61. “If i kiss it will it feel better?”

62. “Stop crying now!”

63. “Hey babe, *name* is having a tantrum? What do i do?”

64. “Wow this is such a good drawing! What is it?”

65. “You got to eat it”

66. “Yeah I’ll play with you”

67. “I am now princess daddy”

68. “You’re just a little mommies/daddies girl/boy, huh!”

69. “Im sorry i cant help”

70. “Watch it again?”

71. “Im a bad mom/dad”

72. “Im so scare of being a dad/mom”.

73. “They (the kid) fell asleep in the bed”

74. “I’ll take care of you, the flu is no big deal”

75. “They (kid) wanted to cuddle”

76. “ Like parent, like baby”

77. “Its your birthday!”

78. “Surprise daddy/mommy!”

79. Holidays: Christmas/ Chanukah/ Halloween/ thanksgiving

80. “Dont freak out but i think (kid name) just broke something”

81. “I fell off my bike”

82. “Im pregnant... again”

83. “I want another kid”

84. “(Kid name) doesnt want to be an older sibling”

85. “It’s not just one (baby)...”

86. “(Kid) said that they hate me”

87. “No I’ll never be my father/mother”

88. “I juSt want one normal day”

89. “They (kid) told me i was there favourite”

90. “No i dont have a favourite child”

91. “So how was the first day!”

92. “Oh okay so a normal day of school then”

93. “Mommy im a big girl/boy now”

94. “I love you mommy/daddy”

95. “Shhhh youre my baby”

96. “That was the best recital ever!”

97. “Youre homework is too hard”

98. “Mom, dad, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/s.o”

99. “No one can hurt you”

100. “Im a cool mom/dad”

101. “Just shut up!”

102. “I hope youre happy!”

103. “I want to be more like you”

104. “How do I change a diaper!”

105. “Yeah im a pretty good mom/dad”

106. “No more fighting”

107. “Just do the freaking dishes”

108. “I love you all evenly”

109. “Yeah i made that”

110. “But the kids want a dog so badd!”

111. “You’re being a brat”

112. “Im so proud of you”

113. “You’ll alwaya be my baby”

114. “That’s it, Youre grounded for a month”

115. “She/ he hit their little sister/brother”

116. “You got suspended?!”

117. “Im gonna kill him/her”

118. “But the daddy, daughter dance is tonight!”

119. “Her/his forehead is warm, babe”

120. “Its 3 am... what do you want?”

121. “Im not teaching you how it kiss a boy”

122. “Dad/Mom did it!”

123. “I want peanut butter and onions and i want them now”

124. “Did you take *name* out of school?”

125. “There is a baby growing in me right now...”

126 “mmm i dont want to make *name* get a shot

127. “I cant move *name* is sleeping on me”

128. “No sex ever again”

129. “Our poor kid has the weirdest uncles and aunts”

130. “I hate that im the stricked parent”

131. “Why does it looks like you have a whole circus in your hair?”

132. “I have to take *kid* to work with me”

133. “We’re going to the er”

134. “*name* teacher wants a confrince”

135. “Do you think something is wrong with *kid name*”.

136. “God you’re just like your mom/dad”

137. “I miss when you were a baby”

138. “Did you cut your hair on your own?”

139. “She/ he drank my coffee and now she’s/ he’a bouncing off the wall”

140. “Why cant i bond with them?”

141. Your own :)

Please suggust some!

#b99headcannon #b99season7 #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #baby #b99fluff #b99oneshot #b99fanfic #b99drabble #amyxjake #jakeperalta #amy santiago #peraltiago #prompt #writing #writing ideas #drabble #prompt list #writing prompt

[voidselfshipp]

F/O FABRUARY! DAY4:FIRST DATE

Pairing: Coding love in the shadows( revenant x jerico)

Summary: its has been a while since revenant was out in the public without killing anyone,this however doesnt prevent him for having a bit of fun.

(Jericos pronouns in this oneshot are she-he,bc me myself couldnt figure out which to use today)

~《♡》~

-Baaabe!! Hurry up- jerico says as she scrolls through Twitter- its already eleven pm, the movie theathre is Open till 12 pm-

Revenant walks insecure , his hands are hidden in his pocet as the ridiculous obersized hoodie that his boyfriend lent him use fits almost perfectly.

The girl looks at her boyfriend and smiles, he looks so cute with it.

The black and red hoodie combines perfectly with rev's colorpallette, she has this big Grin on her face as she hugs him.

The bot is taken back from the sudden display of affection, but soon enough he hugs back.

-Werent we going to be late?-Revenant asks as his hands caress the back of jerico's neck.

-stop it, im going to fall asleep if you Keep doing that-

-Maybe thats my plan-

-A shitty plan I may add-

-no you May not,you little rascal-

Both chuckle and stare at eachothers eyes, they came closer as jeris lips make contact with revs" lips", this lasts for a while but finally they pull apart.

-Im sorry you cant have actual lips to kiss -rev says in the Lowest of voices as they maintain the hugs.

-Baby...I dont give a single fuck about it, I love you as you are, nothing is changing that any time soon-

-everything has an end , jeri-his hands cup his girlfriends cheeks as he looks them in the eye- and ours is more prone to end soon-

-One, shut the fuck up-jerico says, kissing him again- second, I love your voice , and third, come on you dramatic asshole, we are going to be late, and you are driving-jeri tosses the keys to revenant and she walks to the door-come on-

~《♡》~

Revenant hands are firm around the steering wheel, his eyes usually steal glances at jerico, she seems to be daydreaming.

He always wonders whats inside of her head.

They finally arrive at the mall,the parking lot is almost empty.

Revs hand lays on jeris thigh, snapping from his daydream.

-We are here,baby- the bot kisses his boyfriends cheek.

~《♡》~

-And how was the movie?-jerico says as she munches on a Burger.

-I liked it I guess, my favourite part was when you held to me for dear life in that one scene-

-remind me to not let you pick the movie Next time,Also could you get me an icecream please?, the one with chocolate chips!-

Revenant cannot deal with how cute his boyfriend is as he makes puppy eyes.

-Finish that and ill get you the Icecream-

-Deal-

~《♡》~

Revenant waits in the line for the icecream,he fiddles with the receipts, feeling Like everybodys staring at him.

Nobody is.

As he is about to pick the icecream a woman pushes infront of him to order.

-Im sorry ma'am...-Revenant says trying to Keep calm- I was --

-I dont care if you were first you stupid useless bolt can-

Rev can feel his eyes Burning.

but before he can do anything, jerico comes out of nowhere , with a scowl on her face and out for blood.

-Oh yes my bad miss- he says, stepping back, ready to admire the scene thats about to happened.

'Shit has hit the fan' he thinks as jerico taps the womans shoulder, before the mean Lady can say anything , jeri Lands a hit to her nose,making it bleed.

-Now hear me out you cheap, Karen looking, disgusting ass, call my boyfriend a"useless can of bolts " again and ill kick your ass into outer space, you hear me?-the woman nodds but spits near rev's feet.

Jerico is about to throw herself at her ready to beat her ass.

Quickly rev hugs her from behind with one hand as the other uses it to grab the Icecream from the astounded employee.

-There there Feral Dog On Drugs, you did what you had to do, here is your icecream-

The woman looks at the dessert and grabs it, eating it as they hold hands, walking to the parking lot.

He was a bit proud, not gonna lie.

~《♡》~

-Remember I said our relationshipp was going to end?-

-Yes-

-i was wrong-rev says- after you stood up for me I knew you were going to follow me to the end of time-

-I dont mind punching another mean Lady if it means that It Will make you understand that i love you-

-You enjoyed it,didnt you-

-Abso-fucking-lutely-

-Thats my girl-

~《♡》~

#revenant apex legends #romantic f/o #my f/os #f/o x s/i #self shipping #self insert #f/o community #f/ofebruary #(F/O)february

[sorikkung]

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ soft bias tag

stolen not tagged bc im a fucking pleb who doesnt get tagged in shit ripppp LONG POST WARNING IM SORRY MOBILE USERS

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 1. WHO IS YOUR BIAS?

i really can’t choose between got7′s bambam and stray kids’ felix bc both are my ults so fuck the system i’m gonna do this as a poly au bc the world needs more poly shit and felix and bambam would be such a good pair

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 2. WHAT MADE YOU NOTICE THEM?

i noticed bambam first, technically i first glanced him in girls girls girls bc i was anime trash before i was kpop trash and he rEALLY looked like nishinoya from haikyuu so i called him nishinoya and thought he’d just be a first glance bias, until i saw a compilation of got7s dumbest moments and most of them were jackbam and i saw two specific clips that i recall, the one where they had to do the ugly dance of gggs outside the jyp building and bambam literally spazzed on the floor?? and the iconic how do you know im not big moment. i looked at him and went “tHAT ONE. THAT ONE, I WANT THE TRASH CHILD.” been in love ever since.

felix singlehandedly got me to stan stray kids, i first glanced changbin in hellevator then highkey forgot abt them as the show aired. then my friend sent me this clip of felix’s verse in grr from the live stage bc at this point the album hadnt even dropped yet. i was shook to the next dimension from his deep ass voice and his growling and i wanted to hear more so i watched the show and only fell in love with him more.

i betcha if this poly were to happen felix would see bambam dabbing and go “OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONE STILL DABBING IN 2K18″ and bambam would see felix dabbing and be like “OMG HES CONTINUING MY LEGACY” and they’d hit it off from there

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM?

for both of them, i love how they’re both absolute crackheads. like they’re actually so stupid and what the fuck is going through their heads???? they make me smile like and idiot and laugh like no other so of course i love them. plus they have this adorable sweet side to them apart from them being memes and its so heartwarming to see that soft side come out, it makes them so much more of a three dimensional character cause there’s all these sides to them and they’re like so hardworking too and did i mention handsome? plus their love for their members ugh i could go on!!!

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 4. WHO WOULD INITIATE SKINSHIP MORE?

tough call bc im a HOE for affection and skinship but id honestly be too afraid to make them uncomfortable/be too clingy that they’d get annoyed at me so at first it would probably be felix bc lets be real. he comes from stray kids. have you seen bang chan? they bring skinship to a new level. once we all get settled in tho, i bet the three of us would be physically inseperable.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 5. WHO WOULD HOG BLANKETS MORE?

literally all of us. i always end up biasing ppl similar to me sigh we’d be so fucking wild. i betcha that would be the one thing we have regular fights over. who hogged the blanket this time???

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 6. WHO WOULD BE MORE CLINGY?

felix. as mentioned in the initiate skinship, hes really clingy. then it would be me bc i am too. but thats not to say bambam isnt clingy, he’d be super clingy too but me and felix would bring it up a notch.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 7. WHO WOULD SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’ FIRST?

m e. i’d just let it slip out after they do some dumb shit and id just go “wow youre such a fucking dumb dork i actually love you” and then have an o shit moment.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 8. WHO WOULD BE MORE EASILY FLUSTERED?

M E bc bambam is a smOOTH motherfucker and felix is an affectionate motherfucker and i am w e a k although i feel like they’d be easily flustered if they were teased, which i would do, but i think i’d be flustered the most.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 9. WHAT CUDDLING POSITION WOULD YOU TWO HAVE?

i wanna be sandwiched inbetween them bc im shorter than both of them lmaoo. but i bet we’d all bicker of who’s turn it is to be in the middle. another one would be when sitting on the couch, and we’d sit in eachothers laps in height order. itll work somehow.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 10. WHICH COLORS REMIND YOU OF THEM AND WHY?

bambam makes me think of black, white, red, and purple. black and white is bc his fashion sense is like modern and chic and those were also his most iconic hair colours. red because of his signature eyeshadow. purple just seems like a colour that would suit him, it’s royal and elegant but also homey and familiar?? but tbh he can make any colour his bitch.

felix is yellow, gold, orange, and brown, bc theyre warm colours like him!! the brighter colours are bc hes bright like the sun and the browns when its a more chill day, and its all down to earth and just feels like home.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 12. WHICH SEASON WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND WITH THEM?

ooft tough one...spring so i can spend my birthday with them (cause in AUSTRALIA spring is in september to november) and its cold at the start so we can have snuggle dates, and its hot at the end so we can go to beaches and have water fights and stuff!! and in the middle its perfect weather for nice strolls.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 13. WHO WOULD BAKE THE COOKIES AND WHO WOULD STEAL THE BATTER?

bambam can cook apparently and he likes being aesthetic af so he’d be trying his best to make the most bomb ass cookies, and then felix i bet is a disaster in the kitchen so i bet both of us will be stealing the batter while not helping at all and bams will be like “thanks for nothing you guys” and once realising that we weren’t gonna stop he’d turn on us and throw flour at us or something. foodfight!!

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 14. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD MAKE BAD PUNS AND HOW WOULD THE OTHER REACT?

i am a hoe for bad puns it would totally be me all the time. bambam would look so disappointed in me and felix would just burst out laughing with me, and bambam would crack bc how can he stay mad?? if it was an inside joke or a reference to smth and not some random pun, bams would be the first to lose it tho.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 15. WHO WOULD WANT TO ADOPT 50 DOGS AND CATS?

me and bambam!!!! bambam already has like 3 cats and id be like ok lets get three MORE and MORE and felix is like “but im a dog person :(((” (at a fansign he said he was rip) so id be like well dogs are great as well lets get fifty of those too!!!

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 16. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD NEARLY BURN DOWN THE KITCHEN TRYING TO MICROWAVE A POP TART AND WHO WOULD COME TO THE RESCUE?

i wouldn’t be fucked microwaving poptarts (although id probably burn down the kitchen trying to cook eggs or smth but this is about poptarts so its not be this time.) so it would probably be felix and then i’d come to the rescue bc i have fire safety training from scouts.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 17. WHO LIKES TO LEAN OVER TALL RAILINGS AND WHO PULLS THEM BACK?

bambam and i would lean over the tall railings and felix would pull us back bc as seen in the amusement park episode of the 9th, hes a pussy lmfAO he’d have a mini heart attack

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 18. WHAT WOULD WATCHING A HORROR FILM WITH THEM BE LIKE?

bambam would act all tough and felix would be like “o shit pls no” and both of them would scream at the jumpscares and cling to eachother or me, whoever’s closest. i’d probably sit there and laugh and tease them for being a baby bc horror movies aint shit with me. but the rare occassion i do get scared, i’d lose my shit and they’d never let me hear the end of it. “whos the baby now huh??”

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 19. WHO WOULD BE THE CHEESY FLIRT AND WHO WOULD BE THE SMOOTH FLIRT?

bambam is definitely the smooth flirt but he can be cheesy as well?? like he’d be smooth at times and smooth and cheesy other times. felix would be plain cheesy but sometimes he’d be smooth. same with me, i’d be a bit of both?? maybe slightly more smooth idk

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 20. WHO IS MORE COMPETITIVE? felix i feel like would be competitive in the moment but calms down quickly, bambam would be SUPER competitive and be a little petty afterwards if he lost or smug af if he won but after a while he’ll cool down as well, i’m probably the most competitive and most likely to hold a grudge or to rub it in their faces the longest lol.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 21. WHO WOULD HAVE TO BE GIVEN CONSTANT REMINDERS? (REMEMBER TO EAT, DON’T FORGET YOUR KEYS, ETC) idk...? all of us love to eat so i dont think taking care of ourselves will be forgotten, but i tend to lose things so maybe me being reminded idk???

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 22. WHO SENDS MEMES AND WHO SENDS CUTE ‘I MISS YOU’ TEXTS AT 3AM?

ALL OF US! we’d have a group chat and see who could stay up until 4:20 to send dumb memes but if we get too tired earlier we’d sign out with some sappy message idk it would be a total wildcard whether the late night messages would be cute and sweet or straight up memes. i feel like a lot of the time it would be both, like starting off with some cute thing and ending it anticlimactically with a meme bc we’re dorks like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

did i ever tell u poly!bamlix is all i ever needed in life??? thank you for your time i tag @just-oneofthegays and @neo-urban annd @bqngtqn <3

#long post #personal #tag games #kaifen rambles

[sannycai-latte]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged. I was tagged by @sweetalking 

LAST:

drink: if not water then it was milk tea :D

phone call: from my friend to see if it’s a good time to drop off some stuff from earlier today

text message: from my friend telling that she’s in front of my house

song you listened to: uhh ���Isabellae” by elijah who

time you cried: not sure? i mean, a tear or two slipped when i was in the car last friday, but im not sure if that counts?

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated someone twice: lol ive never even dated anyone once

been cheated on: nope ^^^

kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone other than family before so no

lost someone special: uhhh like death wise? my granny; relationship wise: i mean, i guess?

been depressed: not clinically, but i do have some moments 

been drunk and thrown up: unfortunately yes-

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

made a new friend: HELL YEAH

fallen out of love: i mean, i realize that i dont want him anymore so yes :DD

laughed until you cried: can’t recall, but i probably did :D

met someone who changed you: can’t remember!! PROBABLY

found out who your true friends are: fortunately and definitely!!

found out someone was talking about you: ah, the unfortunate part lol

GENERAL:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: 2, but one of them uses twitter more so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

do you have any pets?: yEHHHHH I HAVE THREE DOGS!!!!!!! JOJO IS A FREE SPIRITED AND WILD LOAF OF BREAD, MABEL IS A CAT-LIKE PIECE OF RAW CHICKEN BREAST, AND DUDLEY IS A WEIRD ASS SAUSAGE THAT DOESN’T REALLY LIKE OTHER DOGS! if yall wanna see pics, dm me and i will spam pictures of my doggos

do you want to change your name?: i used to for my first name to a lot of weird shit like Sandra mulan pikachu mewtwo etc... Churro- but that when i was like five years old.. other than that, i actually like my first name because of the nicknames i have from friends and family (’: SURNAME WISE: i mean, i’ll probably get my surname changed when im married coughs sandra huang doesnt sound so bad COUGHS

what time did you wake up this morning: 9:50ish AM and i hated it cuz i thought i was gonna wake up to a bunch of missed calls (’:

what were you doing last night: baking a cake, trying to finish the 00 liners’ vlive, eating, aaaaand messaging peeps! OH! and showering at 1:30 AM :D...

name something you cannot wait for: uhm, normally id tell people that i want a boyfriend LMAO, i normally put fortunes i would get from cookies into my wallet so that they would come true but now i just have a little metal piece that says “happily ever after” on it SO YEAH im waiting for my happily ever after!!

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: i don’t think so? i met two brothers name tim and timothy though!!

what’s getting on your nerves right now: my reflection LOL

blood type: not sure, i was too anxious about the actual blood draws to even remember asking for my blood type kjaksjal

nickname: OKAY SO I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE NICKNAME MY OLDER BROTHER USED TO CALL ME IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BUT HE DOESN’T CALL ME IT ANYMORE- it’s (1) sandararara, then it went to (2) “gorilla” and (3) “clown” when i hit middle school, now it’s: (4) “the cooliest girl ever” smh- my relatives and parents used to call me (5) baby (bih-bee since they all have accents) but then my little brother was born (6) im being called san more now by my parents and friends, rarely by friends: (7) sanny- thas all i can think of at the moment

relationship status: none except my nonexistent ones with RJ or the man on my limitless poster

zodiac sign: lol im a mergoat- capricorn :D

pronouns: she/her

favorite show: GINTAMA!! but i haven’t finished that or any of the other shows i like; non anime: uhhh i like “New Girl” and i really like “ Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23“ but i haven’t finished those either; cartoon: I ACTUALLY FINISHED OVER THE GARDEN WALL. but that was a long ass time ago ajkbfa

college: im still waiting for the UCs and calstates to email me ;; mora got hers and it makes me anxious-

hair color: dark brown (i wanna dye it though, AT LEAST HIGHLIGHTS OR SOMETHING)

do you have a crush on someone: unfortunately i don’t (really miss that feeling though)

what do you like about yourself: I- I dont know

FIRSTS:

first surgery: none(?)

first piercing: ears :)

first sport you joined: i tried out for basketball in eighth grade but thas the most ive done for sports team

first vacation: probably Cambodia

first pair of sneakers: i really don’t know, they were probably white baby sneakers- i used to wear my brothers’ hoenn sneakers in the first grade though since it didnt fit them anymore!

RIGHT NOW:

eating: nothing cuz its 3:30 AM LOL

drinking: water

i’m about to: knock tf out

listening to: red velvet-be natural (it was bad boy/kokobop remix)

want kids: YEEEE BUT IM TOO YOUNG AND WAY TOO DUMB SO NOT RIGHT RIGHT NOW

get married: i wanna get married but not this year LOL maybe in ten years?

career: i wanna be a writer- maybe if i study music more in the future id wanna be a music producer or composer but i have little to no experience with music so i have to get rid of that thought for now

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: legs eyes(?)

hugs or kisses: hugs (never been kissed before so (’:)

shorter or taller: yes.

older or younger: I prefer older but i guess a year or two younger doesn’t hurt

romantic or spontaneous: as much as id like things to be different from cliches, im a SUCKER for all the sappy corny shit, as long as they know what they’re doing without going totally heads in then im okay with anything

sensitive or loud: yeeee

hookup or relationship: relationships(?)

troublemaker or hesitant: UHHHHHHH he better has a reason for both. im sorry- i really dont know my type

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: yes?

lost contacts/glasses: I thought i lost my glasses a few times but thats just me being paranoid

sex on first date: never had either of those lol

broken someone’s heart: I dont think i broke his heart?? if anything, mine was broken

been arrested: nOPE! too stupid and paranoid to get in trouble

turned someone down: sorta, we just both ignored the other without knowing both parties were ignoring each other

fallen for a friend: fuck. yeah smh

DO YOU BELIEVE:

in yourself: sometimes.. i got move forward somehow

miracles: yes! i think

love at first sight: johnny uhh for me, those are just infatuations and i learned that the hard way lol so no

uhm i dont know many people so ill try to tag as much as i can,you guys dont have to do this!!

@neebeejeebies @marksjeno @rxnjuns @bbyb0y-seo @peachy-chenle @whatsoodo @honeytaeyong @reunjun @renjunhuang @huntingfire2001

#okay #i need to sleep now #its almost 4 am!! #i know you said to take my time but i just couldnt help myself ajnfnaknoa #thanks for tagging me tu!! #and thanks for readinggg #i didnt bother checking since its so late

[rnaxwellbeaumont]

rules: answer the questions & tag 20 followers you’d like to get to know better.

tagged by @stellabeaumont @queenreginascontour​ @smartlillian @michellenguyens this means a lot i love yall sm !!!!!!! sry this took 58 years to answer i wanted to do it properly

name: stephanie

nickname: steph 

zodiac sign: aquarius

hogwarts houses: I took the test when i was 12 and got gryffindor, then again and got slytherin. took the test a few months back and got raveclaw, which i whole heartedly agree with !! i’m also a pukwudgie in ilvermorny!

height: 5′1... rip

sexual orientation: im still.. tryna figure this out tbh


ethnicity: chinese


favourite fruit: banana, honeydew melon, mango

favourite season: winter

favourite book series: the maze runner !!!!!!!, harry potter and the pjo series marked my childhood tbh

favourite fictional characters:  god frickin damn yall sitting down?? this gon be a long one but ill make it short lol 

non choices (m):

stiles stilinski my number bby for life . showed me what love was. will carry this love to my grave. his and dylan obriens existence helped me through the many angsty teen years. I LOVE HIM MUM

tony stark unfollowed blocked and reported if u slander my dad. if yall dislike him then uve missed his entire character arc and fallen for his confident facade and are unable to recognise a mentally ill hero and i feel sorry for u

sam drake. wow. i hate him. this man has ruined my life. unlike tony i actually invite yall haters to show up at my doorstep so i can educate u on why he does not deserve ur negativity. i will provide u a 24 page essay justifying his actions and that he is a Good Man

sam winchester what a kind hearted soul. a pure gigantic nerdy bean that deserves all the damn love. compassionate, sensitive, cares about literally everyone.

dean winchester. everyones emo fave. riddled with sadness but still is stoic as sweet fuck to convince other ppl hes ok.  i relate. deserves the entire goddamn world and to be happy.

non choices (f):

clementine 8 y/o when she lost everything. can hardly push a table in twd game 1. when she turns 14??? ya girl able to singlehandedly chop down a mf tree AND takes care of an orphaned baby all while straight shootin zombies in the head. a legend. ppl sing songs about her.

ellie williams another 14 yr old thrown into post apoc wasteland (@ humanity get ur shit together). sassy lil shit. strong as mf hell. took care of a grown ass dying old man! ‘ELLIE IS THE LITTLE GIRL WHO BROKE YOUR FUCKING FINGER!!!’

elena fisher a literal angel wow nathan drake doesnt deserve her. world doesnt deserve her. smart. dedicated af reporter. high morals nd sensitive but takes no shit. a queen.

leslie knope a ray of poewrful sunshine !! the most fucken determined woman EVER. a soft marshmallow teddy bear. inspires me to keep hustlin and hold my head high

choices (endless summer):

endless summer characters. just a long ass read. anyways i love them

choices (f):

val greaves a mf woman. merc with a mouth ! takes no shit! cares so damn much about kenna. just about ready to kill dom for hurting her. wow. ‘she who craps lightning’ best mf nickname given ever. jake who?

annalyse adair: this goddess back handed bitch slapped azura nd kicked her uglie ass ! look so damn good doin it too. hold my diamonds raydan, this bich messed w the wrong queens kingdom. feminine strong female character written right !

sei rhuka were all just lowlanders to her. a waste of her mf time. we aint good enough for her. stoic silent strong ass woman. oh . sis also a fucking dragon !

hana lee like the most perfect human to ever exist. does it all. can do it all. better than u in every goddamn way. humble and sweet. an innocent angel. this is all her world we’re just living in it. anyone who hurts her can catch these mf hands!

oh god ive written sm im tired yall are just getting my fem faves for choices ok

favourite flower: umm id ont know? like.. the ones i find pretty lol. babys breath? single daisies? anythin deep purple coloured, roses that arent red?? i love flowers tho gimme them all

favourite scents: lavender, vanilla in food goddamn!!, fresh air lol

favourite color: deep purple, pastel pink, unconventional colours in neon lights idk

favourite animal: dogs, doggos, puppers, woofers, otters, deer, wolves

favourite band: all time low, five seconds of summer

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffeeEEEEEE

average hours of sleep: it depends on whether i can fall asleep lmao

numbers of blankets: one 

dream trip: @ my nana inheritance wya?? but italy, i just wanna hit basically everywhere europe tbh. iceland, bahamas, MALDIVES. 

last thing I googled: the mummy 2017 (jsdjkf it was so bad i was laughing the whole way through also totally ripped off uncharted 3 ! only watched for queen sofia boutella tho)

how many blogs I followed: 68.. wtf i didnt realise i followed so little????/

numbers of followers: 282 whaat i just startd this blog like a lil over a month ago i love yall!!

what I usually post about: 110% choices!!


do I get asks regularly: nope but sometimes anons pop in to my inbox asking things directed at me and im like?? are u lost fam// i love u anyway thank u

tag (u mightve done this but im tagging u anyway bc i love you heh): 

@thechrispowell @zaddykatsaros @zahranamazis @hollyashton @ohmymaxwell @ladyashtonofcordonia @ohmysnarkydrake @the-light-of-stars @zigisbisexual @kittenmusicals @firefly-hwufanficwriter @endless-vall @endlessbeaumont @heart-drake @nerdy-twin @jakekatsaros @liamxdrake @maxwelbeaumont @luminous-drake-heh @shazrystyles @quarterbackzig @quinn-kelly @lanapowellblog @davesreyes @protect-drake @beccagreaves @zigsexual @heart-jake @ohmysnarkydrake @diamondsaregold @craighsiao @becky-powell

#tag #about

[cooperroose]

♥: a valentine’s day headcanon: being a catcher means coop’s gotta be down there earlier than everyone else for spring training, so he’s in full phillies mode. during the season he’s so focused on baseball that it’s hard for him to pull together a romantic plan for the two of them. he pulled it off last year, but it was the first time in a long time they got to do something together. and it was also the last time before their break up they truly felt like themselves, at least in ginnys mind. she’s taking their relationship more seriously now, they’re engaged after all, and she’s not going to expect him to worry about putting something together. he probably apologizes a million times and thanks her for being so understanding, and he says he’ll have a break a few days after the holiday so he’ll try and make it up to her then. gin’s gonna surprise him instead though, fly down to see him practicing and doing his thing, then take him back to the hotel and just cook something for him, because she knows he’d want that over a night out. sappy sappy. ♣: an april fool’s day headcanon: they don’t pull huge pranks on each other, it’s always little fun things that aren’t too big of a deal. ginny probably tries so hard to come up with stuff to try and get him with, but he always knows and she haaates it. it’s because she’s a bad liar and she gets too giggly and even if she’s trying so hard to hide it anyone else would fall for it, he knows that smile and can tell something’s coming. it takes a couple years, but after awhile he’s gonna let her think she pulled one over on him just because she’s adorable when she thinks she has. ✞: an easter headcanon: they’re very cute for easter, church clothes and pastels and family family family. they’ll treat easter just like the other big holidays and trade off, one in iowa, one in tennesse until they have the kids and want to start traditions of their own. once they do have the opportunity for that, i think they’ll stay in their home in philly. they still go to back home with the twins for thanksgiving and christmas, but they decided to make this holiday all their own. ava loooves easter, she like the easter bunny even more than she likes santa (because bunnies are cute), and all the pretty colors that come with it. kepler likes hunting down the eggs and finding more than ava does, especially if they’re ones with money. (it’s like a dollar in each one, and there’s not even that many of those, but for kids it’s exciting.) once noah’s old enough to join in on the fun too, he’s all about the candy. it probably takes him weeks to get through his stash, because he can’t stand to part with his chocolate bunnies yet. a bite a day, that’s it. ✿: a mother’s/father’s day headcanon: ginny’s first mothers day after caroline passes is extra brutal. it’s probably been a good amount of time, but not long enough for her not to be crushed. caroline hung on for christmas, even when the doctors didn’t think she would, but didn’t make it to the new year. by the time may comes along, she’s had time to grieve and get back to normal, and then it hits her again like a ton of bricks. she’s probably pregnant too, which makes matters that much worse. she’ll tear up in the bedroom with coop, holding his hand, and tell him that caroline knew she’d have another boy, she could feel it. and now that’s she’s pregnant again and they just found out the sex, she hates that she can’t call her up and tell her she was right. the kids will pick up on it, they’re ready to run in the room and surprise her with gifts, but when they do they see gin wiping her eyes and trying to clear her throat. She’ll tell them how much she loves them, and that she’s just missing her mom today, and she wishes she could run in her room and hug her too. They decide to have Caroline’s favorites that day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Big meals, lots of sides, just the way she would’ve liked it to be. ★: a fourth of july headcanon: one year they make a MISTAKE and decide they should have a big blowout at their house in iowa. gin flies her friends in, steven and britt and their kids, andrea, freddie, and theirs and it’s nuuuuts. there’s a lot of kids running around. from britt’s oldest to baby noah and it’s insanity. dylan and ian come too, of course. and addison knows what’s good for her so she avoids it. dylans gonna be out in the backyard, showing all the kids the fireworks he scored, and that’s when the regret sets in. before this the twins were happy just playing with their sparklers, but now he’s got them interested in all this other shit and gin is NERVOUS. britt and andrea are calm, as usual, because their kids are older and they used to get into bottle rockets and stuff like that when they were young too. there are a lot of adults around. the kids will be fine. they say this before dylan hands all the little ones those little popper ones you can throw at the ground, and all the little boys do it at their feet and have them hopping around. coops grilling hot dogs and hamburgers, he’s got some ribs going on there too it’s a good time. until elijah, who’s like eleven, makes the mistake of going to check out why the firework he set didn’t go off. he does that stupid thing they tell you not to do and tries to pick one up, and that’s when it decides to go off. it’s a small one, so it didn’t blow his hand off or anything. but it was big enough to burn the shit out of it and land them all in the local hospital for the rest of the holiday. ☠: a halloween headcanon: kepler gets himself into trouuuuble one year. you know how teenagers like to get into shit during halloween and the day before, kepler plays himself. he’s probably like 13, so noah is still young enough to be into trick or treating, he’s nine or so, and ready to run around as chef boyardee. but the twins want to go out with their friends cause all the other kids get to, they’re not into trick or treating anymore~ coop and gin are fine with that, it was only a matter of time. so gin goes out with noah, and coop takes the twins to their friends houses. ava just wants to have a slumber party with hers, watch scary movies in someones basement and stay up late. she’s being good. but kepler’s started to hanging out with some rowdy boys, that don’t do enough to get into trouble usually, but gin is still keeping a watchful eye. they put their feet on the furniture when theyre over and they try to call coop by his first name, so they’re not fans. kepler insists he wants to ride his bike, and there’s nothing to worry about, he’s just going down the street and that’s all. dad doesn’t have to drive. coop lets him, and regrets it later. because of course teenage boys want to ride around and egg peoples houses. kepler tries to tell them they should use pumpkin guts instead, to keep with the halloween theme, bc he’s ginny’s son. and they’re like...so here’s the eggs. they get caught bc kids are dumb, probably at like the first house too. they’re loud and laughing and PEOPLE ARE TRICK OR TREATING, so them trying to ride off and pick a house with ‘jerks who dont give out free candy’ is a bad idea when someone can walk by at any minute. the cops get called, and ten minutes later there’s one knocking on coops door with kepler in front of him. needless to say it wasn’t a good holiday season for kepler that year. ✈: a thanksgiving headcanon: ginny’s really pumped because she wants to host thanksgiving this year, her first year. in her home with her husband, and their adorable pair of toddlers, and she’s just ready for life. they’re supposed to go to the riley’s this year, so ginny makes sure to talk to mama riley about wanting to host and making sure that’s okay with her, and of course she’s happy to let gin take the reigns, as long as they’re invited of course. ginny’s like !!!! on the top of the world. but everything starts to go wrong the closer it gets to the date. caroline’s feeling really sick lately, so her and wiley decide it’s best if they just stay in tn and don’t try to make the trip out. ginny’s sad, but she understands. coop’s dad is stuck having to work. so she’s like, o...kay, 1 out of 4 parents, that’s okay. she’s taking it in stride it’s fine. kepler chose now to take one of her pans and a pot to try and mold play doh in or some destructive kid shit and she’s like ???? seriously SERIOUSLY. it’s okay. we can buy more pans, coopey bear go get more pans. so he does. peyton will call and tell coop she’s decided to have a holiday in paree~ with her fuckass bf named francois or something annoying and coop wants to kick his ass in general so he definitely wants to now. and it wouldn’t have been so much of a loss, if it wasn’t the year addison trevor and zach were going to celebrate at trev’s family’s house. gins like highkey losing her mind, everyone’s cancelling it’s because it’s her dinner this would never happen to his mom and she’s just not having life. and coop’s like that’s kinda true, but duh he keeps that to himself. gin’s gonna cry if her first thanksgiving is just mama riley goop the twins and bb mel so he’s like gotta call in some back up guests lmao trash. he doesnt call down to tn bc they have their own fam shit, so he’ll call johnny and his girl he’s been dating for like 9 years and still isnt married to. lexi?? i think maybe i didn’t name her but that’s whats on my list so. and asks them what they’re doing for thanksgiving, they were just gonna eat chinese food like they usually do but he’s like yeah no come to iowa. gin and lexi are probs good friends by now, watching their boys play and going to all the wife stuff together. then he calls greggemiah and gregg answers singing kokomo bc theyre set to go on a cruise~ and coops like yeah thats not for a couple days after thanksgiving right. and they’re like yes but we’re packing and we have to do this and this and he’ll cut them off and be like you’re coming to iowa, they’re like ...ew, but ok. coops his charming convincing self and gregg still has his little crush so he can’t say no. jeremiah is like, i’d kill you if he wasn’t so dreamy. i’d say yes too. super long story short, coop gets ian and his preg wife to come too. and they have a cute half family/half friends holiday and ginny is satisfied and proud of herself for pulling it off. but she also dropped a pie during the day BUT THEY SURVIVED. ❅: a christmas headcanon: i’ll say this is christmas after that hell of a thanksgiving, caroline still isn’t doing so hot and even though it was supposed to be their turn for christmas wiley tells ginny her, coop, and the kids should stay up in iowa again. caroline’s not ready for people to see her, she’s probably losing her hair and stuff it’s not a good time for her. gin’s like :( give her my love all that cute stuff. she wants to be there, but she knows if she were in that position she wouldn’t want a lot of people seeing her either. they still send gifts down and wiley tells her to bring the kids down next month and they’ll have their own little holiday. mama riley is ECSTATIC cause she was lowkey sad about not getting to host her thanksgiving, but gin let her help a lot so she was content. she’s also happy to have all the kids in their matching jammies. peytons bitchass thought she was gonna have some dumbass french holiday for christmas too but that got shut down real quick, all her kids are gonna be there. trevor and gin included. francois is on the family shit list, papa riley and coop glare at him the whole time he’s there. and he says weird french shit and kisses all the girls on their cheeks and they’re too ALL AMERICAN JOHN MELLENCAMP for this shit. bby mel shows up with her “best friend” and “roommate” natalie, because mama riley was so cool with greggemiah she thought this would be a good time for the fam to meet her “best friend” and “roommate” natalie. guess what. it’s not. parents are oblivious so they won’t think anything of it, but it’ll be like christmas eve festivities when they’re all like omg and they’ll have a sibling meeting. they’ll all be on their annoying caroling escapade when the four of them will go off, and they’ll drag trevor and gin with them. addison will be like, francois can’t be apart of this, you’re not married. and coop will be like, plus we hate that guy. peytons like ugh, but she’ll be like. at least i’m not the one with the worst significant other anymore. mel’s gonna give dad a heart attack. gins like omg, trevs like omg, coops like dont listen to her dad isn’t gonna have a heart attack. addison will go, yeah i think it’ll be mom. and mel has like horror in her eyes lmao. addison will be like, it’s a joke i’m kidding. they’ll be fine, it’s not like it’s a shock. trev and gin are shoked, peytons shocked, mostly its just coop and addison that aren’t. coop’s like i found out like seven years ago so, i just didnt say anything. addisons like and it wasn’t like you were hiding it well mel. mel is dying inside, she was like abort mission the second she invited her gal pal but she was in too deep by that time. she’s like. i messed up, this was a mistake, they’re gonna hate me omg, i’m surprised YOU GUYS DONT HATE ME. like she flips out. and addison and coop try to chill her out but shes like YOU GUYS CANT TALK WITH YOUR STUPID COOKIE CUTTER SPOUSES and gin and trev are both like aw but also hey! mel will say something about how dad doesnt even like francois bc hes FRENCH. and coops like, at least nat’s from here. isn’t she from north dakota. and addison will be like, i didnt even think they let you be gay in north dakota. and coops like, that’s probably why she moved to chicago. and mels like OH MY GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUPPP. fix it, do something. distract them, ginny tell them you’re pregnant again. PEY TELL THEM YOU’RE ENGAGED. someone do something i’m gonna die. it’s probably snowing, they left the two significant others least in the fam with their parents and the kids singing at some strangers house. classic family hijinks. i talked too much about this ☄:  a new years eve/day headcanon: by the time goop has all three kids, they’re lucky if they can make it to midnight on new years eve, honestly. when they’re babies theres not a chance, goop passes out at ten and the kids wake them up 3 hours later. that’s when they get to celebrate. but when the twins are like 7 and noahs 3 they’ve got this. they all get together on the couch and they’ll watch movies and play board games, and ring in the new year the way they intend to spend the rest of it. they’ve got old dog cubby with them, curled in a ball on his bed, noahs playing with some blocks and stuff, like the big block legos, and the twins and gin and coop are playing their game together. gin has noah right next to her, and he goes mommy looook, every so often. but that’s not gonna help anyone beat her in clue. kepler claims mommy cheats because she always wins so they want to play TROUBLE and SORRY so they can get her back. they’re so excited to stay up late, but they’re still too little to make it to see the ball drop. no matter how many sugary foods gin and coop let them have this ooone time. so they’ll knock out on the couch, and noah’s probs in gins lap by now, knocked out too. coop and gin will get emotional and sappy about how perfect their life is, and how it’s just like they always dreamed. if they could go back in time they wouldn’t change a thing. theyre both sitting on the floor with like their backs against the couch, gin has her head resting on coops shoulder “resting her eyes” because shes a little sleepy herself. she’ll doze off because its gin and shes even worse about falling asleep once shes running around as a full time mom. coop will stay up, smiling at his perfect family, and pet cubbys head. the ONLY ONE to be up with him. gin will be out for like 25 minutes or so, not too long, and he’ll nudge her awake so they can wake up the kids because the balls gonna drop and they want them to get to see it. they have the little party horns you blow into, and noisemakers, and theyre def all wearing those cheesy fake plastic top hats and glasses with the year number on it. and once it strikes twelve the kids are gonna be jumping up and down throwing streamers in the air celebrating as if they werent knocked out five minutes before. then it’s real bed time, gin will carry up noah and coop will carry up the twins and they’ll all be sleepy again the second theyre down in the bed. cutie babies.

#meme #love me #ignore typos #i expect to get texts about all of this

[serenavonromvesen]

September 21st, 2019.

I really don’t know where else to vent but on tumblr. I have always used tumblr as an outlet for venting and I’m reaching a point where I really just need to write out how I’m feeling, without cramping my hand writing with pen and paper.

I feel really lonely as far as friends go. I have an AMAZING group of friends, but so many of them live far away. I have my tribe and I feel I will always have that, but its never the same as having lady friends, I literally have like three or four ladyfriends that I can actually hang out with in person, and only one of them is someone I didnt meet through my boyfriend first. its not that I have anything I want to share behind him, its that I always feel like on some level they’re always more his friend than mine- and at that, I didn’t choose most of them to be in my life, they were given to me. don’t get me wrong, I’m SO grateful for anyone I do have currently in my life. I just don’t have any friends who truly understand me, and especially not that are into the things that I am. I would love so much to be able to be friends with another tattoo model in my area, and ACTUALLY genuinely have a real friendship. I emphasize ‘genuinely’ because this industry is FULL of backstabbing bitches that would throw you in front of a bus to get one more step ahead of you. I just want a girl I can hang out with all the time SO bad. and the one person here who is awesome, works like ALLLLL the time. it sucks pretty bad when you only have one true friend and they end up getting way too busy for you. she’s supposed to move away anyways she said, so I guess I better get used to it now anyways. I’m just so sad of having no girls to actually hang out with. Skyping with my best friend is great, but it just isnt the same- and a lot of time I do get put aside compared to actually going to hang out with people anyways. which i dont have here.

now, I’m SUPER introverted, nervous, shy, socially awkward AND anxious, and sometimes I have a hard time making normal conversation. in fact, I am always secretly bothered by the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE i have some form of Autism, but I would never actually say that I am being diagnosed, but I am terrified to find out. I once emailed a place to ask some questions and set an appointment, but I never heard back.. that was i think last year. Anyways, I don’t want a ton of friends or anything. I dont want to hang out every day- it’s exhausting. but I still want the option to be able to call someone up in those rare days where I do feel like going outside or seeing people, to actually have fun. I used to have that in New Jersey, my group of girls that I hang with an we all really support each other. I miss them so bad. I am SO homesick for like, the last two years now. I try not to think about it if I can help it, but I miss my friends, I miss my mom.. I hate that I’m missing my baby cousins grow up, I hate that I’ve FINALLY made a connection with some of my cousins and now I’ll rarely ever see them, I hate that I can’t do body suspensions more often, I hate that I don’t get to see my brother Sean when he visits... but most of all I do HATE New Jersey and could never live there. I just wish so bad it hadn’t been like 4-5 years since I’ve seen my friends and family. it hurts. I’m so homesick for just the strong friendships I have.

I just...know its possible. I know its possible to have the small group of friends I want. I just wish girls weren’t so...mean and competitive. I just feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with thats a female. why is everyone so far away? I’m home alone all day every day. you’d think a puppy wouldve made me feel less alone, but really I’m a thousand times more stressed than ever. I wanted to move for a fresh start, to breathe, so enjoy peace...and as soon as I got here everyones over all the time and it just reminds me how I dont have friends of my own, and how my friends dont come to visit me, and how I never get a second to myself. I finally got the chance and heres this puppy. i love him with my life but I AM SO STRESSED!!! I’m with him 10-14 hours a day by myself and then half of the time I’m still the one dealing with him at the crack of dawn, too. I never get time alone unless he sleeps and then I have to walk on eggshells to not wake him up- AND I DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING WANT THIS!!! when I was forced to give up my other pupper, Hades, I said I never wanted a puppy again because IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. it puts me on edge and greatly disrupts my bipolar. i literally CANT handle it. I said I would get a dog no younger than 2 years old. I wanted a border coli so bad, maybe even a doberman because I still miss my old dog Max SO MUCH! I like bigger dogs and never really was a big fan of little dogs. I like a dog I can give a whole ass hug to, and feel protected by when I walk alone down a street with him. but no, Michael had to choose, he wanted a puppy, he wanted a small-type pure bred dog which means it’ll be twice as expensive twice as often with vet visits. but he wanted it. he insisted. and now, here we are, just like scooping the litter boxes for all 4 cats, its pretty much almost entirely left on me to do. for so so long I told myself “well he works and I dont really work, I’m home all day and hes not here much to have the time for it.” but you know what I realized? That when I worked full time at Starbucks, or when I worked two jobs at both the Smoke Shoppe AND Spencers, that I still put in the same amount of work as all of this- I was still expected to do all of this. at that, I am SO SICK AND TIRED of him asking me EVERY FUCKING DAY “will you mop today? will you do the laundry? will you do that dogs medicine? will you change the cat boxes?” periodically throughout every morning. like oh, I didn’t realize that I was a fucking 4 year old that needs direction on needing to do basic fucking cleaning tasks!!!!! the only reason I dont get to half that stuff most of the time is that I’m annoyed as fuck at being told what to do / treated that way, and that by the time he leaves for work theres been a whole fucking list of shit lined up that I now feel EXPECTED to do before hes home from work. it literally aggravates me SO MUCH just typing about it because im so fucking pissed off that he does this EVERYMOTHERFUCKINGDAY. it makes me feel angry and completely overwhelmed and then I just spend my entire day dreading it then rushing to do it right before he gets home from work. I just fucking hate it. like I’m fucking 25 years old, I know what the fuck to do to keep the fucking house clean, thanks.

at that, between the no friends, the fucking belittlement of being given a verbal list of chores every day, and the stress from puppy I absolutely did NOT ask for, I am feeling so depressed. I wanted a new house so I could ENJOY it, but instead any moment in my backyard is spent trying to get the puppy to stop eating random crap the people before us left- like glass, I cant enjoy how the inside looks because theres puppy training pads all over the floor which the floor is always dirty because of being in and out of the house with the puppy, or just even a moment of peace at all. like literally this defeated the whole entire purpose of wanting to move. its still a gazillion times better than the trailer, I still totally love this house, but because of my stress and loneliness level, I feel nearly just as depressed as before.

what doesnt help is lately Michael has been SO negative abut things. it’s like when I finally am enjoying myself, he comes through like a wrecking ball being negative, depressing, unsupportive, argumentative, and just plain giving off vibes that make me feel so down. He still makes me feel super happy like 98% of the time, but it is such a downer when hes being super negative about EVERYTHING. or when he gets my hopes up about things and then goes back on his word. he LOVES to tell me yes to shut me up then saying no when it becomes real, a mega part of why I haven’t gotten to visit my family in 4 years. and then he makes me feel SO bad about it. he has no problem bragging to everyone about a vacation, but when its just us suddenly its “I have to do this on my own” and “it’s expensive” like really? thanks for bragging about it for two months, waiting until we have it a month away to tell me its 100% on me to plan it, then complain about everything I tried to plan, WHILE making me feel like a complete and utter loser that I’m a failure at everything I try to do so now I don’t make any money. I literally fucking hate myself again. that’s where I’m at. I’m starting to find my body, my hair, my face- all of it repulsive. I hate how I look. I hate my hair and how my dreads are all lose, but I have to ask him for money to be able to fix my hair. he always tells me just ask and it isnt a problem but then when I do want to do things he makes me wait ages and puts it off or flat out complains- or if it all goes smoothly he throws it in my face the first fight we have. I just feel like such a fucking loser, that’s getting uglier by the day. and when I finally worked up the courage to go to the gym, its like pulling teeth to get him to go- I’ve been asking for a year and we STILL haven’t gone. I want to be a breakdancer SO BAD and I’ll never get to do that if I can’t go to the gym to work out. he tells me to just go but he doesnt understand that being a woman alone in public these days you’re at extreme risk of being raped and 10/10 multiple dudes will trying saying gross things and hitting on you/catcalling. I wish so so so so so bad I could go out for a day and have not a soul talk to me or look at me. what a dream that would be. I just cant go alone. its literally dangerous. scary.

I just feel so STUCK. I want to make money so I can contribute to the house and pay for what I need MYSELF. I never ever liked being someone who fully depends on someone like that. hell, a decade ago I refused to let anyone even get me a simple drink from a convenience store. it still feels uncomfortable to have to be like this. I want to be able to take care of myself. to know that if it was just me that I wouldnt just...be out on the streets. now I’m getting married and its a great relief that thats a less legitimate fear, but I still want to be able to take care of myself so that I could help my babe. he works SO hard for us and spends SO much money taking care of us, I just want to be able to pay my part of that and make HIS life easier, so that we BOTH can do more things that we like instead of just paying bills till the next check. I feel so useless and worthless. but everything I try to do I just fail at, or I’m too depressed and just lose the passion for it. or the will to do nearly anything. I really thought moving was going to change everything for me but... I feel nearly just as depressed. the environment change has definitely helped but, it didn’t suddenly cure my depression like I hoped for..

I just feel so alone, in like, literally everything I try to do. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. when I do think I fit in, it just turns out to be a delayed rejection. I swear I get screwed over and stabbed in the back more often than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I’m easily forgotten and definitely easy to fuck over. I just wish people werent so hateful and selfish... all I want is to have female friends I can actually hang out with, have some help with my puppy, to talk to my fiance without him thinking I’m having an argument, to workout so I can dance, and to do something I love that makes me happy that I can make money with. I feel like I failed as a model too. I make all these plans and then.. I can never accomplish them. I often think, is it worth it really? to compete with all these girls when I dont care about competition? to be screwed over because I’m an opponent to everyone I wish I was friends with? to try and build working-relationships with photographers who seem to forget about me before I even get my pictures back? to not be paid for modeling when I spent tons of money on clothes for shoots? to not have my name out there after a year and a half? to not even be able to find a photographer that wants to shoot for publication? or be told I’m not inked enough to shoot again (the day after I got tattooed?)? I just feel like a failure. I spent over a thousand dollars on clothes for shoots, plus all traveling expenses, to have only ever profited $50 one time and then never get my edited photos back. I just feel like I’m not worth anything, that I can’t contribute or make money without making myself excessively unhappy working jobs I hate- only to be belittled there too.

I don’t even care about social media anymore. I don’t care to check instagram or post on it. why? so I can spend two hours doing makeup so I could post a selfie to write another caption telling everyone that “one day” I’ll do more? what’s the point? If only I had someone I could invite over to talk to about it :( I just feel so...unexcited by everything. like Stan in the episode about shit. I’m bored, I feel gross, I feel lonely, I’m overwhelmingly stressed, I’m growing to hate myself again, and I feel like I don’t have the positive influence I need to get better. I WANT to get better, I just need help and I don’t have anyone I feel I could reach out to that could actually help me. I just really need a friend...

#lonely #need friends #personal #feeling small #journal entry

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182227933232

[allofbeercom]

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

Jambo, morons! Welcome back to another riveting season of where the success rate is similar to the cast members combined IQs: practically non-existent. But hey, were Americans. We love shit that is destined to failwhether its reality shows or President-elects. Its our cross to bear.

ANNNNYWAYS. So MTV had a hard job to do: top the group of idiots that made up season 4. And thankfully for you, but mostly for me, they did just that. Shoutout to you MTV, you da real MVP.

Also, as many of you know, I tend to feature quotes from my loveable, yet incredibly cruel mother in these recaps. You think Im bad? She once called a woman in Starbucks a psycho bitch because she took the last of the skinny vanilla mix. True story. DM me for details. Lets begin now.

This season MTV really went for #culture and decided to have the show in the Dominican Republic. Even reality shows get island fever, I guess. I mean, you can really only throw so many group orgys/luaus so many times on one show.

Ryan Devlin, the host who you feel bad for like 99% of the time, meets up with the cast and is like you guys all suck at and theyve all been trained to say relationships. Of course they all forget their one fucking line and just sound like they are saying random shit.

RYAN: You guys suck at CASTMATE 1: Relationships! CASTMATE 2: Tomato! CASTMATE 3: Unicorn piss! CASTMATE 4: 9/11 was a hoax!

We meet Tyranny (Mom Quote: IS HER NAME TRANNY!?! theyre so cute when they are mildly offensive) says that all of her boyfriends have either cheated on her or knocked other girls up. In the words of Donald Trump: Sad! Very Unfair!

Theres Jaylan who used to be a loser, hit the gym, now gets pussy. Male Laney Boggs. Tale as old as time. Moving on.

Taylor: hottest girl on the show easily, talks about how her dad would kill some of the men she has dated, low-key concerned for her safety and the safety of others.

Theres Joey, the povo as fuck part-time garbage man who spent his last remaining dollars on a gaudy watch. Obviously a very smart investor. Didnt know sent kids on scholarship. Im just happy hes honest about being a garbage man and doesnt try and be like Im a sanitation assistant. Not that any of them know what sanitation means.

Joey is def hot though10/10 would bang, just to get hook up with blue collar worker off my bucket list.

REAL PICTURE OF JOEY:

THE FIRST DATE RULES

Ryan explains about how they do comprehensive interviews and questionnaires to develop and algorithm that eventually finds their match. You know poor Joey didnt know what was happening after comprehensive.

This season, theres another twist: there are 11 guys and 11 girls, but they only get ten chances. Obviously MTV was giving away too much money with this show, so they made more couples. What? Youre thinking it.

For the first date, MTV acted like a bunch of fucking narcs and sent bios to the contestants’ parents so mom and dad can pick who they think is a match. Everyone is like, Mom dont fuck this up for me.

My mom: If you were ever on this show I would literally never acknowledge you again. (Fair enough.)

Joeys mom picks Carolina, whos like okay cool, whatever. She doesnt know hes a garbage man yet, so give her a break.

Hannah’swho is from my hometown, hey girlfamily picks Oswaldo, a self-described horny genius. Welp, I think a line like that means its time for a shot. Brb.

Anyway, Hannah is like I would rather eat my own spleen then date Oswaldo. (paraphrase)

Giannas mom chose Hayden and they start hugging and are like . Fucking spare me. The other fucking losers have to send these couples to the truth booth after their date.

BACK TO THE HOUSE

The castmates get to their dungeon for the next few months and drinks are flowing and shirts are off. I remember my first sip of alcohol.

Cassandra is drunk and is wanting to touch everyones face. She like Im so flirty when Im drunk which is a weird way of saying Im a hoe.

Its Mikes birthday today. Hes like its my birthday so someone fuck me. *plays Birthday Sex* *stares aggressively at all the women*

Mike describes himself as a typical Staten Island boy. His hobbies include moisturizing, mispronouncing half the English language and fapping off to girls who look like Snooki.

Ozzy is a local, so you know he is dirty as fuck. Kathryn goes to Florida State, you know shes hot as fuck, but also borderline brain-dead.

Shes like I WANT TO BE A TEACHER! and its like, sure ya do sweetie, and I want to be a fucking astronaut. Stick to what you know and continue being a TFM girl.

Ozzy and Kathryn both want to be teachers. Snoreeeeee. Shes already like Im in lovewell folks, weve met the stage-5 clinger for the season.

Michael the douchebagnot be confused with Mike, the little man from Staten Islandis laying it on THICK to Taylor and she is not having it. Taylor has officially become my favorite on the show so far.

MICHAEL:Hey pretty lady TAYLOR:Ew seriously? Girls with asses like mine do not talk to guys with faces like yours.

Shes like youre so full of shit and Im like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK, TAYLOR.

Hayden and Gianna are talking about how they both have dogs and both like corn and other pretty basic shit and decide theyre going to be together forever.

GIANNA: I breathe air HAYDEN: No way, I breathe air!!!

They both have the flyover state bond, with Hayden being from Indiana and Gianna being from Ohio. Its always cute to see two people from middle America bond and discuss the fact that they fucked the rest of us over. True love.

Everyone is like Hayden and Gianna are a match, even though theyve all known each other for 3 seconds.

Joey the trash man is telling people that hes going to be a carpenter, much like a 3rd grader would say Mommy, Im going to be a superhero! Shannon brings me the biggest laugh of the night by asking him to do her carpets, clearly not knowing what a carpenter is. Shit like that makes me miss my sorority.

Ozzy is chain-smoking and being like I DONT WANT TO BE THE OLD ME. Aka, me on New Years Eve.

Kathryn and Ozzy are drunk as fuck and being flirty and going WE WANT TO HELP KIDS!!!! You stay the fuck away from my future children, Rush-Boobs and Ozzy.

Michael is talking to Gianna and starts telling a sob story about how he was chubby and he blossomed. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one. No seriously, every fucking season they have one of these guys.

MTV CASTING: Ok we need at least one hick, one former fat dude, one ripped black guy and one oddly feminine guy. Search the fucking country.

Michael starts asking Gianna about her open-heart surgery, gets bored halfway through and just starts sucking her face. Okay. Well that escalated quickly. Quote from mom: He doesnt give a shit about her faulty heart. Hes trying to get laid. Profound.

Rush-Boobs wants to make Ozzy jealous and starts low-key hooking up with Mike. Fantastic logic, cant wait for you to educate our youth.

Then we meet Andre, who has trust issues because the girl he liked since 8th grade literally sat on his friends lap. Meanwhile, Tyrannys boyfriends are having children, but OKAY. #dramatic

Alicia is the perpetual sidepiece, aka every womans enemy.

Ozzy and Kathryn already think they are a match and Ozzy forgive Rush-Boobs for hooking up with Mike because hes a cheater too, so this is karma. Wow, how fucking zen of you.

THE DATE

Hayden dresses in camo for the date and Gianna is like You can take the boy out of Indiana, but you cant make him dress like a normal fucking human.

Its very clear Gianna is over Hayden, whereas Hayden hasnt been this excited since he attended a Donald Trump rally last summer.

GIANNA: FML HAYDEN: *excitedly whispers* Build that wall! Build that wall!

Joey just looks like a trash man, like, just in life. He has resting garbage man face.

Hannah does not like Oswaldo, its very obvious. Shes going to call her parents and demand a raise in her monthly allowance for making her suffer through this bullshit.

Gianna starts kissing Hayden and shes like Ill give him a chance. How fucking noble of you.

Carolina and Joey are talking about their parents and Joey tells her that he would never cheat on a girl and Carolina damn near creams her pants. They kiss and meanwhile the whole audience is wondering does she know hes a trash man? That dramatic irony, doe.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

ShockerHayden and Gianna to the truth booth. Michael is like WE MADE OUT LAST NIGHT but Im not jealous.

MICHAEL: Im not even mad! NARRATOR: Michael was, in fact, very mad.

Ah, but there is a truth booth twist! They can trade in truth booth and add $150,000 to their prize. But if they take the money then Hayden and Gianna can never get sent back together.

The house is torn. Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel.

*Starts Twitter poll asking people what they would do*

They decide not to take the trade, which my mom and I both agree is stupid.

And lookie here: No match. So thats done.

Michael is thrilled. My mom thinks he looks like a baby rat. Cannot un-see that.

Gianna gives a speech basically saying that she didnt feel it the whole time and everyone is like okay cool thanks for telling us, *whispers* ya fuckin bitch.

We also very quickly meet Kam, who has a rotation of men because #feminism. And Edward, who has a chest tattoo. Thats it for now.

Gianna goes to hang out with Michael and hes over it. He makes her cry, I dont really care, blah blah blah, moves on with life. Gianna and Michael are going to be the annoying couple this season. Buckle up.

MATCH CEREMONY

This season they have the blackout rule again but this time they cut the winnings in half if they blackout. Thats way harsh, Tai.

First is Kam and Eddy. Shes building up her newest rotation.

Taylor picks Tyler, who is hot. Wait what? Why did they not introduce the hot guy? What is this fuckery, MTV? They also sound like they could be identical twins.

Kari, dont know her yet so whatever, picks little man Mike.

Casandra picks Kaylen.

Caroline picks Joey.

Tyranny and Oswaldo. Can I just call you Tee? Im going to call you Tee, because Im one letter away from being low-key fucked up.

Giannas dumb ass is up and shes like I HAVE A GREAT CONNECTION WITH MICHAEL so obviously shes going to pick Ozzy.

Tee and Alicia are pissed and threatening to curb stomp this bitch. Fuck yes, this is what I signed up for. Gianna is like Leave me alone everyone, Im proving this to Michael! Literally all you proved was that youre crazy AND stupid.

Hannah picks Michael.

Alicia picks Andre.

Rush-Boobs picks Derek, who is also hot as fuck. Also, Rush-Boobs laugh reminds me of Kitty from. I know. Its all you can think about now.

Shannon, who btw really needs her carpets cleaned, picks Hayden.

Well this is excitingthey get two matches. Not bad for week one. They dont make me want to kill myselfyet.

Ryan gives the follow your heart speech that we hear every fucking episode and the cast goes back to the house to turn the fuck up.

So far, off to an interesting start. Gotta say, good-looking cast this season. Dumb as rocks, but good-looking. Come back next week to see what other shit I can talk about my peers who are doing far worse than I am. Peace, bitches.

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Read more: http://betches.co/2itgoq2

from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

#‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

[krysrawfiggs]

1-154

1.Full name:Krysten Alexandra Figueroa but you will reffer to me as Krysfiggs

2.Zodiac sign:Im a cusp baby born as the day changed. I am a leo/virgo

3. 3 Fears:Spiders, being alone forever, my fam disowning me for being gay

4. 3 things I love:Being surrounded by awesome people, video games, outdoor activities

5. 4 turns ons:Firey passion, neck biting, n eyes.. its always the eyes, n intelligence

6.4 turns offs: Lack of intelligence, if youre rude in general, if youre clingy, lack of understanding n compassion

7. My best friend:I have a coupleNadia, amanda, n bree (when shes not being an idiot)

8. Sexual orientation:Lezzzzzzzzbbbbiiiiannnnnnnnn

9. My best first date:So far going out into town in the middle of a rainstorm running dancing n dickin round and then showing up soaked n eating at friendlys

10. How tall am I:Im 5'5"11. What do I missNot paying bills

12. What time were I born:12am on the dot

13. Favourite colour:I like deep colors. I used to say deep blue but i do love red n grey too

14.Do I have a crushXD maybe! Ok yea. I do. But i aint tell you.

15. Favourite quoteGod theres too many…

16.Favourite placePuerto rico

17. Favourite foodGawd this is hard ok. I have the soul of a very very fat man. If i had to pick one thing…itd have to be my moms pernil (pork shoulder)

18. Do I use sarcasmNever im a sweetheart😆

19. What am I listening to right nowEvie- last dinosaurs

20.First thing I notice in new personEyesss…eyess…eyess…….!

21.Shoe size822. Eye colourBrown anytime of dayGold in the sun

23.Hair colourBlack as the normBrownish in the sunlightBlue when its overcast

24.Favourite style of clothingandrogynous 25. Ever done a prank call?Yup i bothered the fuck outta kymmie for months before i gave myself up xD

26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Burgandy See thru lace

27. Meaning behind my URLWelp minus the word raw its just my name. If my father didnt delete my 1st blog and of someone in asia didnt take my old username right after it wouldnt be as stupid.

28. Favourite movieToo many brahhh

29. Favourite song

30.Favourite bandBloc party, last dinosaurs, split milk society

31.How I feel right nowHorngry n lonely. Lusting for warm weather and beach weather

32.Someone I love.In what context?

33.My current relationship statusSingle af

34.My relationship with my parentsCurrently ok..

35. Favourite holiday Hmm i dont have one

36.Tattoos and piercings?I have average ear piercings But i want a lip ring n a tatoo of leo n virgo fighting inside of the sun ony shoulder

37.Tattoos and piercing i wantWhoops jumped the gun. Please refer to 36

38.The reason I joined TumblrMy friends at the time

39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope we’re cool

40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used too from my so. But now its just my good friend manny

41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Hmmm no

42. When did I last hold hands?Non romantically:I held hands with my lil sister cuz she doesnt know how to cross a freggin road without getting hit by a car! But romantically: its been over a year and a half.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10mins

44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?Its been a good 6/7 months. Im at man status rn

45.Where am I right now? Trapped on a bus with zombies from nyc somewhere on the way to newburgh

46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? In oswego it would be chance. Here.. idk it hasnt happend.. but my best bet would be nadia

47.Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Both. Depends where i am

48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes. Please dont ask how its going. Its not well.

49.Am I excited for anything?Yes. The 3 day weekend

50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No i only have 2 chill male friends

51.How often do I wear a fake smile?Often enough

52.When was the last time I hugged someone?That would be last sunday i hugged holly. We went for a movie and a bite n caught up since inhavent seen her in 5ever

53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Its w/e as long as you happy n your not like eating face

54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Yea

55.What is something I disliked about today?Evelyn being passive agressive towards me. Makes me uncomf. But i could care less.

56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Rebecca sugar

57. What do I think about most? Its gonna be one of 3 things, women, video games, food

58. What’s my strangest talent?I can get really creepy really fast. Iv been told to try out to be villians or serial killers in movies

59.Do I have any strange phobias?Spiders

60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both

61. What was the last lie I told?

62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Im old skool ill show up at your house ;) jk phone so no one can see this akward mess

63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes

64.Do I believe in magic?Yes

65. Do I believe in luck? Yes

66.What’s the weather like right now? Bloody cold

67. What was the last book I’ve read? Allegiant

68. Do I like the smell of gasoline?Addicted

69. Do I have any nicknames?Krys, elmo, jesus

70. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have 12 stiches on my thumb both for cuts by blades oh n the one time i was going down a mt. On my longboard n i fell and got the worst road rash on my ass.

71. Do I spend money or save it?Both

72. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Idts?

74.Favourite animal?Otter

75. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Hehhhh better not say

76. What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Idfk

77.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Anything fr the last dinosaurs

78. How can you win my heart? Compassion understanding and a drive no one else has.

79.What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Im not gonna be burried.

80. What is my favourite wordOogle

81. My top 5 blogs on tumblr Ill answer later

82.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83.Do I have any relatives in jail?Yes

84.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Speed

85.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Feelings are a tough subject

86. What is my current desktop picture? An image from second son

87. Had sex?Why yes i have

88.Bought condoms?Nopes

89.Gotten pregnant? Nopes too gay for that shit90. Failed a class?Several

91. Kissed a boy? Yep im not a gold star lezzy no more

92. Kissed a girl? Many

93.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes. Im super cheesey i do things like that all the time

94.Had job?I have a job95.Left the house without my wallet?Keys and liecensexD

96. Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97.Had sex in public? Yes

98. Played on a sports team? Several

99. Smoked weed? Yasss

100. Did drugs? Ive tried some shit

101. Smoked cigarettes? Never now thats nasty

102. Drank alcohol? Yes

103. Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never

104. Been overweight?yes

105. Been underweight?yes

106. Been to a wedding?yes

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Days

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight? When i was younger

109. Been outside my home country?yes

110. Gotten my heart broken? Many times

111.Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112. Broken a bone? Do Teeth count?

113. Cut myself? Not on purpose

114. Been to prom? Unfortunaly. Thats an akward story. If i didnt go i coulda stayed in puerto rico longer. But nooo joe had to ask my parents…

115. Been in airplane? Yes

116. Fly by helicopter? No. But ive been in some heavy duty military air craft

117. What concerts have I been to?Walk the moon, in hs i saw i see stars mega concert there were like 20 bands there idr them all, versaemerge, dragonforce

118.Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yeaaa im megagay

119.Learned another language?I can fully understand spanish. But i cant speak it.

120. Wore make up? Im alergic to eyeliner xD

121.Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

123. Had oral sex? Yes.😍

124.Dyed my hair?Ive never dyed my hair

125.Voted in a presidential election? Yes both times for obama♡ . n fuck you, you lil orange dicked cheeto (donald trump)

126.Rode in an ambulance?Yes i did when i sliced my thumb deep with an exacto and was bleeding everywhere

127. Had a surgery?No

128. Met someone famous? Yes i have i met that guy from “what would you do” when i was staying in maryland. Also i stick around after theater shows and concerts to meet the actors, performers, and musicians

129.Stalked someone on a social network?Guilty

130. Peed outside?Um who hasnt?

131. Been fishing?Yes. Anyone wanna join me this spring?

132. Helped with charity? Yea every 3 weeks i participate in a soup kitched in poukipsee with my siblings and my cousins.

133. Been rejected by a crush?I have unfortunate luck.

134. Broken a mirror? Haha yea i did once

135. What do I want for birthday? Id love to go somewhere amazing and warm with awesome people. If im dating someone id love to actually have a birthday kiss. #neverhadoneonmybirthday

136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names?By kids you mean dogs? N id have all of them. Theyd have really crude/harsh spanish names.

137.Was I named after anyone?No but krysten means follower of chridtXD

138.Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

139. What was my favourite toy as a child? Why it was my stuffy scooby doo

140.Favourite Tv Show? Gawd theres so many. But steven universe👌🖒

141.Where do I want to live when older?Puerto rico when i hit the lotto

143. Play any musical instrument? I can play the trumpet, the recorder, basic drum beat, and im learning the uke

144.One of my scars, how did I get it?Sliced my thumb with a woodcutter one year. Then the next year same thumb with a brand new exacto. Landed me in the hosp 2ice total 12 stiches

145.Favourite pizza toping? Extra cheese

146.Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes. Im more worried bout the it under the bed that comes out when you dont have sheets on.

147.Am I afraid of heights?No. In my stage craft class i was the only one who wasnt scared of heights they sent me high up to work on stuff they also sent me 60ft up to the grid too 😎

148.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes and i had my ass handed to me on a silver platter several times.

149.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes. All the time.

150.What I’m really bad atBeing social. Talking to girls. Drawing.

151.What my greatest achievements are. Being the first to graduate college.

152.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meYou should see the list of stuff my parents have told me since i was little. Its a little too awful to put on here.

153.What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Top secret Plans back the fuck up

154. What do I like about myself Um my bed head. Idk

155.My closest Tumblr friend Haha nadia

156.Something I fantasise about my exTisk tisk ladies n gents we shouldnt be reopening wounds like this. *points finger n shakes it like a noodle*