elfines

[elfines]

i can't even imagine being loved. what it must be like to mean something to somebody. i am nothing and no one. sometimes i wonder if i even exist at all. i'm répulsive and it's all my fault. it's always my fault.

[elfines]

i wish i was brave enough to kill myself. i hate myself. i hate hate hate hate myself. i'm fat and ugly and stupid and useless and the only good i can do is just die. i can't even hurt myself properly lol i'm pathetic

in the end i'm a coward above all things. lazy weak pathetic fat ugly useless afraid.

[elfines]

updated rules (for myself)

NEVER eat over 800kcal/day

aim to eat under 600kcal/day

take vitamins every second day (adjust as required)

fast 6pm-10am every day (liquid fast initially, then water fast)

drink 3L water every day (acv optional)

NO SUGAR WHATSOEVER

walk 5000 steps every day

cardio for 30 mins every day

resistance/muscle training 10 minutes every day

keep clean and neat

keep living space tidy

there are no excuses.

#DIARY #weight loss #ednos #ed #eating disoder things #eating disorder #anorektyczki #anorekic #anorexja

[elfines]

reintroduction post

hi! my name is anna and i’ve recently decided to come back to tumblr after an extended hiatus, so i thought i would reintroduce myself and kick off a new diary.

stats:

height: 164cm

current weight: 64.8kg

highest weight: 75kg

lowest weight: 59kg

goal weight: 50kg

waist circumference: 28in

starting body check under cut

#ED #ednos #anorektyczki #anorekic #anorexx #bullimia #anamya #eating disorder #weight loss #weight loss diary #diary #not pro #not pro just using tags

[elfines]

attention all active ed blogs!!!

i've been gone for a hot minute and my dashboard is dead, so like/rb this post if you're an active ed blog in dec 2020 and i'll check you out! also feel free to say hi, i love making new friends ☺️

no minors/men please

#anamia #not pro just using tags #not pro #anarexyx #rexie #thinspo #ed #eating disorder

[elfines]

I’m so obsessed with her omg

#thinspo

[elfines]

I Lost 45lbs since January 2020

Heres what I love most about my weight loss:

Everyone constantly telling me how skinny I’ve gotten

Everyone wanting to know how I did it.

My bf finally being able to pick me up.

All of my jeans are too lose. (But they were expensive so I wear them anyways)

Selfies are so much easier to take. And they look so much better.

My face is wayyyy more defined.

My legs are so small now.

Self tanning is way easier now. (less fat to cover)

Not feeling completely disgusting in a bikin.

All of my rings are loose now.

I can wear whatever I want. Everything looks good and I don’t feel fat.

I eat way less so I’m way less bloated.

MY STOMACH IS SO FLAT!!!!

Hip bonezzz

Collar bonezzz

Gold jewelry looks so good on me 🥺

Finally being photogenic.

People who haven’t seen me in a couple months don’t recognize me.

Stares from men and women.

I get hit on allll the time

Sex is sooooo much better. (More positions, more confidence)

Being able to eat less than 500cals a day and feel full.

My chubby little fingers are less chubby.

Nail polish looks better. (So do acrylics 🤤)

Feeling light all the time.

Finally not being embarrassed to say my weight out loud.

I can get drunk way easier.

I can also get high way easier haha.

I don’t feel like I’m taking up as much room.

I don’t feel disgusting every time I eat out. I don’t feel judged.

I can eat whatever I want, but I’ve trained my body not to over eat.

My skin is so good from all of the water I drink.

My cravings for horrible food are gone.

I don’t sweat as much.

I can walk for a much longer period of time.

My boobs got smaller (this is a good thing for me)

Not feeling embarrassed while changing in front of my friends.

Being able to try clothes on in stores and knowing it will look good and will fit.

Finally weighing less than my sister who’s always been skinny.

Being the smallest one in the family.

It’s worth it. Don’t give up now. I swear you’ll thank yourself in a couple of months. I’m still losing weight currently but these are just some things that keep me motivated. Stay safe and good luck. ♥️

[elfines]

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[elfines]

i feel like my actions look so ugly because im fat i dont even know how to explain it but i feel like any emotion i show looks so ugly on me specifically because im fat lmfao bye

[elfines]

[elfines]

[elfines]

[elfines]

A month from now:

You can either be a month closer to your goal

OR 

You can continue trying to hide from the mirror, so you don’t have to see how repulsive you are.

[elfines]

! Repost ! Thank you all for the support (5'3 96lbs)