#my 8 year old ass did NOT need to see my at the time all time fave be fucking crucified i literally was crying so fucking hard

[the-acid-pear]

Yall dont even know how badly down i was for this guy back in the day. Mf had me eating off the palm of his hand.

#luly talks #im pretty sure hes the main reason why im so into eyepatches in characters #at least one of the reasons at least #he was so hot AND FOR WHAT #TO SPEND HALF OF THE GAME JUST PUKING BLOOD #i remember close to nothing about this game but that scene had little kid me like sobbing and screaming and ripping my hair off #im exaggerating but not entirely im sure i cried when it looked like he was going to die #fucking okegom itself had me eating off the palm of their hand when i was a kid which #ITS BAD I KNOW LMAO but man. zany emoji but man. these silly little characters had me ON MY KNEES i swear to god #i dont actually remember if i was down as bad for anyone in wadanohara i guess. idate? and the octopus #but it was NOTHING like what me and wodahs had. or nega. although w nega it was platonic love i didnt wanna fuck that thing #i spoke of nega before the moment he died was one of the hardest blows kid me took #i mean they fucking crucified my man. they nailed him to the fucking cross. i was like 8. #my 8 year old ass did NOT need to see my at the time all time fave be fucking crucified i literally was crying so fucking hard #this sort of *grips table* way of interacting w shit did carry me to UT where when papyrus died i was like NOOOOOOOOOOO #bc i used to be a papyrus girlie yeah #part time sans girlie too i mean who wasnt back then but it was platonic never wished to fuck him #i dont remember if i didnt wanna fuck paps tho #i DO remember wanting to fuck grillby tho KFAJDHBGJH #when i got into lisa i was already too old and too normal to go as crazy anymore #no games ever managed to make me as emotional as Mogeko Castle and TGG just cuz of wodahs tho

[hearts4chriss]

Teachers pet.

CollegeProfessor!Matt x CollegeStudent! black fem!

Prompt: in which you have a crush on ur teacher, yet he has a thing for you no matter how wrong it was, and he notices your little movements in class to get his attention, one day it pushes him over the edge and he teaches you a lesson for it, not with a bad grade

“I know I’m young but, my mind is well beyond my years”. - teachers pet by Melanie Martinez

Contains: teasing, loads of suggestive touching, neck sucking, spanking, desk sex!, backshots, m!oral receiving, degrading, dumification, f!oral receiving, mentions of Matt having a huge cock, overstimulation, pet names, HELLA dirty talk, choking, hair pulling, kissing, mentions of reader w fat ass, fantazing like this. HEAVYYY AFTERCARE

a/n: this one’s dirty as hell😭😭

Fuck.

I was in class sitting next to one of my friends trying my very hardest to focus on this lecture of business and finance 2, my teacher Matthew Sturniolo.

He made basically impossible, the all black pants with his sleeves rolled up and top buttons undone. And fuck those tattoos.

The way Matt’s rings would sit on his fingers, I’d desire for them to be on me and inside me.

He was undeniably attractive, and he knows that he is, he’s well aware of the affect he has on me, the same smirk he’d give me as he glanced around the class making sure we payed attention, whenever I was working and he’d whisper “you need any help, sweetheart?” His hot breath on my ear making my thighs close together.

Today was one of those days, I wanted to mess with him as I was well aware of what I could potentially make the 25 year old man feel.

I was in my dorm room with my roommate Anna @worldlxvlys as we were getting ready to head out to class.

I buttoned up my short sleeve white shirt with the red and navy plaid skirt just barely covering my ass as the thin pink material hugged my curves.

I slipped on my thigh length white socks with these stupid dress shoes putting my boho braids in a high ponytail.

I applied my lip gloss and soon enough I was ready to go just waiting for Anna.

“Girl let’s goooo”. I chuckled ushering her to the door and she rolled her eyes following suit.

“Let me guess you have Professor Sturniolo first period”. She nudged me playfully and I nodded

“Duh! That’s why I’m rushing you, so I can see that man”. I bite my finger mimicking a blowjob motion with my hands and she gasped slapping my shoulder as we walked up to the main hall.

Ur actually insane for that. She shook her head at me and I disagreed.

Soon after our chatters I made my way into my class.

The second she walked in I couldn’t help but let my eyes drift to her thighs, the way the thin white stockings cover her brown skin makes my pants tighten.

when she gave me that small smile, her lipgloss coating over her plump lips made me die to feel what they’d feel like on my cock.

When she turned to go to her desk, she bent down grabbing binder. Her skirt rose up making my cheeks turn a cherry shade as the thin pink material hugged the curves of her ass. I tried my hardest not to stare because she’s my student.

Of course she’s 8 minutes early.

I leaned back in my chair tilting my head back letting my mind wander.

oh fuck- you feel so good baby. I moaned as I thrusted deep inside her cunt, her legs shook against my desk as her nails clawed the front begging to cum for a 3rd time.

Please please- mm- let me cum I’ll be such a good girl I promise- she babbles as I lay a harsh smack on her ass and she jolts back against me.

should’ve thought about that before teasing me with that slutty skirt- I gripped her shoulder tightly thrusting harsher and quicker as he jaw dropped only producing whimpers and squeaks

I was stroking myself under the desk as low grunts flowed out my mouth just imagining this scenario.

She’s always do this shit on purpose. She never wore skirts this short unless I was teaching her that day.

Did she think I was clueless?

I’d been waiting for the right moment to bend her over and fuck the shit out of her, teach her her a lesson

The way she’d bite her lip at me as I was trying to teach, it all made sense she wanted to drive me crazy.

I threw my head back against my chair, completely forgetting she was in my class.

“Mr.Sturniolo are you- oh-“ my eyes widen when I turn around meeting him seeing his hand below the desk his cheeks turning a pink shade”

“Fuck just- shit I’m sorry sweetheart I can’t help myself around you-“ he mumbled groaning as his gaze met mine,- a wetness forming between my thighs.

“do you need my help?” I ask, realizing what I said I quickly turned my back and Matt let out a small laugh.

“I do actually, be a good girl for me and suck my cock yeah?” He smirks initiating for me to come over with 2 fingers and my throat tightens as I made my way to his desk.

I approach the side as he slides his chair out being met with his hand around his dick. Which was big.

hell the thickness of it was enough to make me squeeze my thighs together as well as the red tip along with the length. How was that supposed to fit in my mouth?

“What are you waiting for? Been dying to feel those lips on me all fucking semester”. Matt admits biting his bottom lip as I crawl on my hands and knees positing myself in front grabbing the base as he groans tilting his head back

I have his tip a few kitten licks making his hand gravitate towards my hair, the cool rings on my scalp before I started bobbing my head up and down.

“ah shit- feels so fucking good-“. He moaned watching me look so submissive below him, the sight of him alone in all black moaning my name turned me on so much more than It should’ve, and sucking him off was like a dream come true.

“Mmm fuck- ur such a good girl, helping ur professor out yeah?”. Matt shuddered pulling my braids slightly tighter and I nod as best I could before quickly resuming my actions, I had to make him cum in under 8 minutes.

“atta girl, keep going- gonna cum just watching you like this- sucking my cock like a little slut-“. His eyes flutter shut as I lick stripes up his dick, the veins on my tongue felt euphoric as well as hearing him sound like this just from me

“atta girl”, another thing he’d always call me, I wasn’t slow? No way he didn’t have maybe..have a thing for me. His student.

there was absolutely no doubt that I was a teachers pet. There was no other teacher I’d do this for, I’m not even failing his class I have an A-.

I felt him twitch in my throat, occasionally thrusting his hips tugging my hair.

“can i- fuck- fill ur pretty mouth up sweetheart?”. Matt pleads, almost as if the way he’s asking he wants to cum in my throat.

I tapped his thigh signaling he could and with that he came down my throat as I swallowed licking the excess from his dick.

“Was that okay Mr-“ I start off, slightly nervous because all I wanted was to make him feel good resulting in him laughing slightly.

“More than okay, you can call me Matt when I’m not teaching”. He gives me that signature sly smile that drives me up a wall helping me up as he fixed his pants and I began walking back to my seat.

As I watched her walk back, realizing how unbelievably sexy she looked in the skirt, a question filled my mind, biting lip watching her walk away.

“are you gonna behave today?” I said putting my belt back on, smirking slightly to see if she knew what I was talking about.

“What? I always behave”. I sit at my desk tilting my head to the side acting like a clueless puppy and he walks up placing his ringed hands on my desk staring down at me.

“If you consider wearing a skirt that short purposely bending over in front of me and giving me fuck me eyes, is behaving, I think your wrong honey”. He chuckles and my eyes widen as I bite my tongue. That’s was everything I was doing.

“So, if you don’t behave in class today, I might have to teach you a lesson sweetheart, you wouldn’t want that would you?”. His eyes pouring in my soul were captivating, almost immediately when those words left his lips I crossed my legs.

He tapped my shoulder going back to his desk and everyone started filing in the class and I let out a deep breath.

Nia @nicksmainbitch sat next to me and Scoots closer to me.

“Girl what’s tea, what happened?” She sat next to me and I side eyed Matt then opening my mouth showing her my throat and she gasped.

“NO F-“ she yelled before I shushed her seeing how he looked in my direction giving me a small wink making my stomach flutter.

“Ooo y’all nasty, I knew he liked you! Since the first fucking day, he’s been eyefucking you”. Nia whispered the last bit to me and tilted my head.

“Wait wait, how do you know? Tell me!”. I poke her teasingly and she laughs.

“Okay sooo….

August 31st Los Angeles California,

University of Southern California

somehow me and Nia applied for the same school and both got in and majored together in business so here we were roommates and in the same class.

I was pretty focused on my studies, hell I even got offered to Harvard and other ivy leagues guy USC seemed about right for me.

I walked into class immediately meeting eyes with my professor. Matthew Sturniolo.

the following week

I walked in class sitting next to y/n, the one thing I saw this past week was how he looked at her, the way he’d always make sure she was okay, the way he’d constantly pass her desk giving her a smile. No way he didn’t like her….

FASTFORWARD SECOND SEMESTER PRESENT

“Anddd yeah that’s basically what I noticed just within the first week”. She started before Matt let out an obnoxious cough.

“Do I need to separate you two?”. He said leaning on his desk speaking in his normal voice.

I bit my lip making eye contact with him watching his eyes widen.

“No Mr.Sturniolo I’ll stop talking”. I say slowly and nia taps my thigh and I let out a soft giggle looking up seeing Matt’s jaw clench I quickly remembered my punishment Id receive, but was that gonna stop me? Fuck no.

The majority of class consisted of me teasing him, purposely fixing my button down so my tits we’re practically falling out, dropping my pencil so I’d have to bend down, my ass poking out in front of him.

All of this justtt to push him over the edge.

If only I knew what I was in for.

Just as I was about to leave the class being I was the last one he pulled my arm closing the door and locking it.

“Where do you think you’re going?”. Matt tilts his head backing me against the wall the heat between my legs growing.

“You think I couldn’t see what you were doing sweetheart?”. His finger on my chin my eyes meeting his feeling my panties dampen.

“You have no idea what I’m about to do to you…” he smirks gripping my thighs wrapping them around his waist slamming me on his desk making me gasp when his lips come in contact with my neck.

“Matt..”. I sigh deeply tilting my head back as he continues sucking harshly on the soft skin closing my thighs.

Matt let’s put a chuckle as he marked me up, his stubble burning into my skin, the desire in my body growing the more he touched me. Wondering what he would do to me.

“Take this off for me”. He tugs on my shirt and I nodded un doing the buttons, watching how his breath would hitch, revealing my pink lacy bra matching with the panties I had on.

“God- you look so sexy in this”. Matt mumbles his hands groping my tits making me let out a soft moan as he pulled away and I whined before he slapped my thigh and I gasped watching him go down on his knees.

My heart beat picked up as he slid my skirt off and panties revealing my bare pussy directly in his face.

“Ur so fucking wet, did i do this to you sweetheart?” He smirks running two fingers through my folds making me whimper and my lips part slightly.

“I suggest you open that pretty mouth and answer me, because I have all day to fuck the attitude outta you”. He speaks somehow still dominate as he’s on his knees and my stomach flips at his filthy words.

“Yes- you did- it was you” I squirm impatiently and he chuckles.

“that’s more like it”. Matt said lowly before looking me in the eyes licking a stripe up my wetness making me moan out softly squeezing my eyes shut

“such a pretty pussy, can’t wait to see the mess you make”. His hot breath on my core sends vibrations through me as his lips attach make an obnoxious suction noise making me squeal and tug on his hair.

“O-oh god-“ my breathing picks up as I begin to moan without a pause as Matt’s tongue flicks at an inhumane pace, his nose grazing my bud and his stubble against my thighs.

His hands grip my thighs pulling me more onto his face and I shriek gripping Matt’s hair tighter only fueling his ego and desire to go quicker

I was in such a euphoric state, hearing his mouth mix with my wetness, I had lost it when he shook his head in my pussy, he was good

“fuck- oh my god-“. I shudder my chest heaving as I watch him feeling my eyes blur at the pace of Matt’s tongue, not wasting a second or a drop of my arousal as he became pussydrunk off of me.

“Mmm you taste so good..”. Matt’s warm breath against my dripping cunt leaving small kisses making me squeal from the pleasure, not removing his head from between my thighs once.

The sound of her moaning my name above me as I held onto her thighs keeping her upright. She tasted so good almost as if I was meant to do this to her. The way she would squirm in my grasp every time my nose brushed against her clit which was often because I couldn’t get enough of her. Her pussy was perfect and every wrong thought of the student-teacher was completely gone.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for months. My own fucking student whose thighs I was now buried in between.

“shit Matt-“. My eyes flutter shut letting him take over my body my hips occasionally shooting up before Matt pulls them back down holding me in place.

“yes- oh shittt im s-so close”. I moan loudly pulling on his hair tightly feeling my the pit in my stomach become hotter.

“yeah? I want all on my tongue baby, give it to me”. He speaks quickly before resuming thrusting his tongue in and out of me.

“Fuck! I’m c-cumming”. I squeal feeling my body loose control as I squirted all on his tongue and around his mouth as it dripped down his chin.

He laps up every last drop making sure not to waste any.

“Tired already?” He chuckles standing up beginning to unbuckle his belt again and that grabs my attention.

“Wait-what are you doing?” I gasp watching his pants drop followed by his boxers, his hard cock with that similar red tip from earlier, spring out hitting his stomach.

“Oh sweetheart you didn’t think I would keep you back and not fuck you?”. Matt smirks bending me over the desk, his hand holding my head sideways as I shriek and the sudden contact of the cool glass of his desk.

I feel his cool rings come in contact harshly with my ass leaving a stinging feeling along the soft skin.

“Just couldn’t behave today could you, hm?”. He taunts repeating the same action making me jolt, pushing against his cock.

“No? Looks like I’ll have to fuck some sense into you yeah?” Matt smacks my ass again slightly harder me squeal.

“Probably like this don’t you, getting treated like a whore by ur professor. Doesn’t it turn you on?” He grabs my neck making my throat tighten and i whimper at his words.

“That’s not a response sweetheart”. Matt shook his head chuckling whilst keeping that firm grip on my neck.

“I-f-fuck it turns me on-“. I choke out and he releases his grip to run his tip in between my folds, the sticky sound from my previous orgasm and his pre cum mixing caused him to groan out of pleasure.

“Fuck, can’t wait to fuck ur pussy loose”. Matt mumbles before sliding into me halfway and my legs already feel weak, the stretch of him was indescribable.

“I’m only halfway pretty girl, you gotta take all of me I know you can”. He presses a soft kiss to my back before pushing all the way bottoming out.

“matt-fuck p-please-“. I stutter on my words as he’s practically balls deep inside me.

“Please what? Use ur words baby”. He massages my hip.

“Fuck me”. I turn back to look at him, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth was more than enough for him to start moving, not letting me adjust to his large size.

Matt didn’t start off slow, he went right to hard rough thrusts causing his hips to connect with my ass roughly making all sorts of noises come out, hardly any words were formable.

“God you feel so good..been waiting for this”. Matt lets out a deep moan as his hands hold my hips forcing me to take all of him, his tip brushing my g spot making my legs shake and I scream each time.

“Mmph f-fuck..”. I cry out, babbling as he fucks me senseless becoming drunk on his cock.

“Can’t even get a word out? God ur such a slut”. His hands dig into my ass making me squeal gripping the edge of the desk.

Matt’s pace was like he didn’t plan on stopping, he wanted me to feel every thick inch of him, and that this was something I’d never forget.

“Can’t wait to see you full of my cum, gonna fill you up so good”. He grunts gripping my shoulder to snap his hips quicker and my jaw hangs open the only thing coming from are squeals, heavy breaths and moans of his name.

“shit shit- feels s-so good”. I squeak out just above a whisper, the way he was fucking me there was no way I’d be able to walk the next day.

Matt’s deep grunts and moans made my pussy clench around him, fuck I could probably cum in the next minute.

“Fuckk- I love this pussy so fuckin much-“. Matt shudders at the feeling of my walls closing in on his large cock, the pace and pleasure were enough to make me feel like this.

“Please please”. I babble out like a helpless puppy and he chuckles slowing his thrusts and I whine.

“Fuck-no please Matt I-i need to cum”. I whine impatiently and he slaps my ass and I jolt back again feeling the head of his dick abuse my g spot

“you sure? Didn’t seem that way in class”. He chuckles his pace more slow and deep still knocking the wind out of my lunges.

“No! I’m sorry i-I’ll be a good girl I promise just please let cum”. I beg and he rubs my side gently.

I let out a deep sigh to myself, I mean how awful would I be if I didn’t let my favourite student have an orgasm.

“Mm much better”. He mumbles resuming his pace and my head falls forward my stomach tightening again as I feel that knot begin to burst.

“Oh fuck! Yes yes I-I’m cumming-“. I squirm feeling a hot liquid trickle down his cock but yet, he doesn’t stop pounding inside me and I reach back to push his hand away but he grabs both of them placing them behind me.

“M-Matt too much I-I’m sensitive!”. I cry out and he shakes his head with a cocky grin slapping my ass harder than normal.

“Should’ve thought about that before misbehaving huh sweetheart”. Matt mocked me thrusts harshly as my cum coated his cock making a mess on his lower stomach and my ass.

Matt continued his harsh movements as I felt his dick twitch inside me.

“fuck I’m gonna cum inside you yeah? Fill you up with my mmph babies”. He groans not letting up on his pace as I already feel an orgasm approaching me again.

Tears roll down my face from overstimulation as I’m about to cum for a 3rd time today.

“O-oh god Matt-please cum inside me-“. I babble on my words feeling a bit of drool on the corner of my mouth begging him to fill me up with his cum.

“atta girl, cum for me sweetheart, I know you got one more in you”. He pants reaching down to rub my clit, feeling his fingers graze my overstimulated bud and I squeal at the pressure of his fingers.

“f-fuck!”. I scream curling my toes as I felt like I was going to pee but i began squirting all over his cock and lower stomach, Matt thrusted slowly before filling me full of his warm thick liquid.

Matt rested his head on my shoulder stuffing me full of his cum and catching our breath.

He slowly slid out of me. I winced at the loss of him, being he was quite large.

“Fuck-you look so hot like this”. Matt bit his lower lip, his voice raspy and tired as he looked at my abused hole, full of his and my cum leaking out dropping on the floor.

Matt noticed I hadn’t said a word, and my legs shook slightly from the pleasure and whimpers and pants left my mouth as I look like a rag doll, sheen layer of sweat covered my body.

“hey, baby you okay?”. Matt rubbed my shoulder waging for an answer.

“Yeah just- really tired”. I pant and he grabs my waist sitting me on his lap.

“I know, I wore ur ass out didn’t I”. He lets out a breathy chuckle and I slap his chest rolling my eyes.

1 month later

Ever since me and my teacher Matthew sturniolo had sex, we never stopped.

Literally never stopped.

“come on hurry up I have 10 minutes!” He pulls me into his office quickly beginning to unbuckle his belt

and the time after that…

“fuck fuck fuck!”. I threw my head back as he gripped my ass tightly rocking me on his cock as I rode him in his chair

“God you feel so fucking good on top of me sweetheart..”. Matt mumbles into my neck slapping my ass, his cool rings felt electric on my body

Shit I even started sleeping at his house on the weekends.

“morning gorgeous”. Matt yawns pulling me into his grasp again and I giggle pulling him into a kiss.

I was sleeping with, My professor, Mr. Sturniolo,

Tag list !! : ̗̀➛

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@nonamegirlxsturniolo @luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt @luv4kozume @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @vicsguitarr @ast3ro1dzz @sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva @braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @kqyslyho3 @imaslut4kehlani @sturnsfav @sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @gamermattsgf @lilyloveschris @dlyansworld @chrisloyalgf @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @ineedchriscock @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @luhsexcbihh @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris

#matt sturniolo #hearts4chrissmoots #hearts4chriss #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut

[hobisstar]

So delicate| jjk x fem!reader

summary: Love isn’t fun when your young lover is caught cheating.

Warning: JUNGKOOK IS A PIECE IN SHIT IN THIS OMG, 8 year age gap, dom! Jk, sub! Reader, mentions of smut, toxic relationships, cheating, after math of cheating, and that’s all I could think of. Oh and maybe a little bit of yandere.

Crash.

Was what yn felt when she got home. Oh she couldn’t wait to just crash and go to sleep after a nice hot shower. But of course, that’s not what happened.

No you see yn came home to her boyfriend, cheating. It’s not like she was surprised no she has felt this was coming since a few months ago. Just how dare he bring into their home? How could he? The he in question is none other Jeon Jungkook.

According to jungkook they were falling apart after her late night working hours and his chilling at home hours. And because not to mention yn is a little older than Jungkook. Yn being freshly 34 and Jungkook being 26, they bumped heads with that 8 year age gap.

Yn frowned upon it so so much, but for some reason Jungkook insisted that they be together and forget about the age gap. They were adults in love and that’s all that mattered to him.

Recently, it hasn’t been so much love though. Yes, it’s still there but after this, is it?

One day Jungkook was nitpicking. Everything yn did that day, he just didn’t like it.

Going to work, didn’t like.

Walking around in clothes, didn’t like.

Not holding him tightly enough when she left for work, didn’t like.

Not riding his cock until he was begging to breed her with his then limp leaking cock, didn’t like.

The last one, cause an argument. Can you imagine having an argument while being onto of your lover? After he basically cummed in you more than once? Same. I couldn’t!

But yn being yn, she tried. Truly she tried to understand so much of his recent actions but what he said the day after? Was heart breaking.

“It’s not my fault that you decided to date a 26 year old at your old age. Should’ve dated someone your own age..”

It didn’t hurt yn because she knows it was true. So her rebuttal was

“ your right. And since you are so fucking right I’m done with you. You don’t want to be with my old ass anyways so I might as well find someone who will.”

Soon, that argument turned into angry sex. Yn saying she hates him while Jungkook replies I love you and your mine.

A whole lot that honestly needed to end anyways.

But this time, you were serious.

As soon as yn heard the moans coming from what once was their shared home, she quietly walked to the room, opened the door, packed a bag, and went downstairs. She completed drained out Jungkooks yelling and the woman’s panic voice trying to call Jungkook down when all she got was a get the hell out, to that she did.

“Baby… I thought you had to work late today?” He mumbled walking up behind her.

Yn did one swift turn toward him and looked him in the eyes and smacked him. “ You… you dare do this behind my back but you got some hefty balls to do this in my fucking home? I’m not surprised. Jungkook you’ve been hinting at this since 5 months ago. I was just dumb enough to ignore them. So you know what? Stay with her. Stay with whoever. I’m done and you don’t have to worry about my grown ass any longer… I’m done. Officially.”

Yn grabbed her bag and walked passed a stunned Jungkook making sure she shoulder bumped him on her way out.

He didn’t even attempt to stop because he knew. He knew that if he did she’d never have a chance of leaving of again. She wins this time. He told himself.

Oh let chaos begin…

#bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #hobisstar writes #jungkook ff #jjk #bts jeon jungkook #BTS #Jungkook smut #yandere jungkook #bts au #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #bts scenarios #bts fic #bangtan #bts jeongguk

[cry4mina]

Take Me Back to Eden - Ascensionism (Part 4)

(Nayeon x Fem!reader)

Take Me Back to Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1

Take Me Back To Eden - Granite - Part 2

Take Me Back To Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3

Word Count: 8.5k Angst/Angst/Smut Summary: Reader finds out the truth behind what Jihyo and Nayeon has been up to, she takes the steps to become more independent and heal her grief, only to fall back into old habits. TW: Betrayal, suggestive themes, lying, break ups, cheating, manipulative behavior, anxiety, top!reader x Bottom!nayeon, choking, degradation, truthfully its rough sex but anyways, let me know if I missed anything! A/N: After a reasonable amount of requests I decided to continue the series. I also decided to write smut for the first time. Thank you to @saiiidahyunee @neoplatinum and @miinatozakiii for the help/advice for this part! <3 (srsly, this wouldn't have happened without them)

--

“Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other?” 

Pulse radiating in every cell of your body, waiting to see if there’s another text from Jihyo. Absolutely baffled as the lie shatters your consciousness, returning you to the jagged spiral you were still reeling from.

It was true. She did this to you. 3 years of deception and it was all happening right under your nose. 

Knees buckling underneath you as you think back to the conversation you had in the kitchen the night prior. 

The tears she shed, the way she spoke…the way she studied your face… She was acting through the whole thing and you believed her. 

“Nothing has happened since, and nothing like this would ever happen again. I wanted to tell you but the person I was then and the person I am now are two completely different people. Even that version of myself would never dream of hurting you in such a way.”

 Stomach churning at the words previously said, fighting back the hatred growing in you. 

‘Please understand that I would do anything to remove this from my past…our past.” 

Nauseously fighting the tears threatening to spill from your eyes, remembering how your skin felt against hers as you slept next to her the night prior and you cringe knowing it was all fake and you had fallen for it. 

Nayeon’s phone vibrates in your hand again, revealing another text from the other responsible party. 

“We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you.”

As you stare at the screen, truth reflects back onto your face, flashing through your memories with her. Decorating the house on the holidays, her meeting your parents, anniversaries, going out to dinner; Even the small touches to show affection that intertwined themselves into everyday life hardened your exterior as you built your walls back up brick by brick wondering how long they’ll hold up with the digital reinforcement you’ve stumbled upon.   

The need for the truth pokes at your chest while opening the text thread between her and Jihyo. 

———————————Yesterday 11:34 pm——————————

Jihyo: Y/n didn’t seem to believe me when we spoke, I hope she listens to you or we might have a problem. 11:34pm

Nayeon: We might have a problem then 11:35pm

Nayeon: I don’t know if her and I will make it thru this 11:35pm

Jihyo: Do what u can. We will just have to cover our asses if the company finds out we are sleeping together. 11:37pm

Nayeon: It seems like she can’t really make a decision. I put her to bed a little while ago because she was exhausted. 11:38pm

Nayeon: She did bring me dinner last night… 11:38pm

Nayeon: She actually just came to the living room and def only in underwear…I’ll update u in the morning. 11:40pm

Jihyo: Just because she’s the piece that’s keeping the public and our company from finding out doesn’t mean I want to hear stuff like that, Nayeon. 11:42pm

———————————Today 8:12 am——————————

Jihyo: Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other? 8:12am

Jihyo: We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you. 8:14am

Forgetting to blink as you’re reading the thread, in disbelief that you almost gave them the forgiveness they asked for. Caught between the smoke and mirrors, an illusion painted for the public eye to cover the secret that only they knew. 

Screenshot clicks lightly as you send yourself the evidence and delete the pictures from the text thread as well as Nayeon’s phone. You wanted to be able to look back on this and remind yourself that she was responsible, and that you'd never give her another chance. 

Sliding her phone into your pocket, you walk into the bedroom. 

Nayeon is distracted in the bathroom preparing for your morning shower together. Hearing the door of the shower sliding open and the sound of the head sputtering to start. The clashing of the water hitting the tile mimics the storm you felt brewing up inside of you.  

As your rage builds you quickly grab a backpack out of the closet, unintentionally knocking a tote bag down as you pull the straps. Trinkets of all kinds scatter across the floor, you flinch at the sound and look down at the mess before immediately unzipping the bag.

“Is everything okay, baby?” Nayeon yells from the bathroom, it's muffled by the foam of her toothpaste as you hear her spit into the sink.

Body tensing at the pet name, knowing the illusion of the past 3 years was uncomfortable and devastating. 

“Yes. Just dropped something.” You shout back trying to hide the towering rage that is rocking against the winds of change your digital confirmation created. 

 “Okay, my love, I’ll be waiting for you in the shower.” She sings back trying to play cute with you. 

You roll your eyes while shoving the bag full of everything you’d need for the next few days as quickly as possible. Clothes, charger, wallet, important documents, and your laptop. 

Putting on the first pair of pants you see and not even bothering to change out of the oversized sweater you threw on to cover up while you had your morning coffee. 

Quietly running to the dresser to grab some socks, your foot kicks some of the mess left on the floor. Sighing at the annoyance of it being in your way but it slows down enough to see what the contents were. Jewelry you’d never seen, love notes opened with a wax seal, and countless pictures of Jihyo and Nayeon together. 

Frozen in fury as you take in what you’re unintentionally uncovering, a singular tear drenched in anguish falls - the tap on the photo echoing in your ears. Reaching your limit and the overflow of emotions are about to spill out of you in a slurry of misery and hatred.

Grabbing the specific Polaroid of them kissing, tucking it into your pocket with her phone and leaving everything else where it landed. Preparing for the confrontation, knowing she’ll probably try to cover it again. No more running from it and no more hiding from it, you had her cornered with the proof that she was a liar. 

Hopping onto the counter in the bathroom, you waited for Nayeon to realize you’re there. The shower door is slightly open, she left it for your entrance. Opening her eyes momentarily to see you staring back at her, much like most mornings. 

This morning was different though, after the fight you got into that spread out over a week and the information you got this morning; there was a thickness in the air that wasn’t just steam. Almost visible in how it intimately caressed your heart into a conflicted mess of emotions, waging wars inside your chest.  

 “Aren't you gonna join me? I’ve got a blank canvas for you if you’d like to make more art out of me.” She coyly says, winking at you.

 Your cringe is covered by the steam coated glass, repulsed by the thought of this stranger touching you the way she used to. The trust was no longer there. Being past anger, past sadness, and clinging to the numbness so you could get through this conversation. 

Trying to keep your brain on track when Nayeon steps out of the shower and walks towards you, seductively. A thin layer of sweat is starting to appear on your skin as she gets closer to you, you’re trying to talk yourself out of the thoughts of what would happen if you just showered with her and forgot what you found. 

You can’t do that to yourself, you know that. You would never knowingly accept less than you deserve but your heart was fighting you with every step she took towards you.

She puts her wet hands on your thighs, allowing the material to cling to your skin, “why are you wearing these? Just so I can take them off?” Her pupils are wide as she fixates on your face watching you half glare back at her.

 Swallowing as you try to keep yourself from shaking as the numbness wears off and turns to despair and then shifting erratically to pure anger and then back to despair again. The pattern is familiar, you’ve lived it before a few times. Trying your best to conceal the rapidly changing mood and keep a straight face.

 It seems to go unnoticed as she parts your jean clad legs and slides her waist between them wrapping her arms around your neck. Shivering at the warmth of her skin against yours as her fingers lace through the hair on the back of your head, trying to get you to cave into her wants. 

Your body is definitely reacting to her being this close to you the way it always did. The ache in your core screaming at the familiarity but your mind is repulsed. How many times had she done this with Jihyo? 

Not pulling away, allowing her to set herself up, the same way she let you. Leaning into your ear, lips brushing against its shell as she whispers “I’d love to take this off, if you’ll let me.”

“Do you really think you deserve it after what you’ve done?” sternly leaves your mouth. 

Clench her thighs as you speak, she loves when you talk to her that way. Not realizing that your voice is heavy with a different type of malice, not the usual light hearted mask you wear for her when she wants some roughness. 

 Hands come off your neck and slide under the sweater. She’s relieved you don’t have a bra on as she scratches harshly down your back, like she always did during sexually driven moments much like this one, in an attempt to rile you up more. 

It works for a moment, you groan and chase after her lips as she teasingly pulls away from you. Challenging your power and being a brat, refusing what you were asking for to intentionally make things more heated. Two can play that game.

“Close your eyes and hold your hands out.” Softly spoken while only an inch away from her face. Her half lidded eyes looking up at you for a moment. The sparkle for you is still encapsulated in her big brown eyes. 

Immediately listening, placing full trust in you. Removing her from between your legs, you guide her back and against the glass shower door. It rattles on impact as she leans against it, inciting a gasp from her. 

Her hands are up and out, waiting for whatever you had in store for her.  She’s smiling up at you, eyes closed, intrigued about what you’d place in her digits. 

Reaching into your pocket and pulling out her phone and the picture. Looking at them one more time before placing them directly into her hands, almost as an offering, like it’s your ticket out of this mess you unknowingly found yourself in. 

“You can open them now.” Tone leaving little to mystery as it sneers out of you. 

Her brows furrow as she realizes something isn’t right. Nayeon opens her eyes and looks down at what you’ve placed in her hands. Confusion waves across her face until she sees the image of her and Jihyo kissing, staring back at her. Hearing the gasp leave her lips, a deep gust of air is still not enough for Nayeon as she almost starts to panic.

You’re out of the room in seconds, her quickly following behind you, she grabs onto the sweater leaving a wet handprint that matches the ones on your thighs. 

 “Please, let me explain!” she begs frantically and tugs on the sweater harder to try and get your attention while you’re gathering more necessities for your daily routines. 

“Drop the act, Nayeon. I don’t want to hear anymore from you.” Your tone is growing more callous as time goes on. It roughens up the few soft spots she had even if it was entirely her fault you were going through this life changing event.

 Her face shifts from worried to annoyed as you sprint around the room, not bothering to organize anything being placed into the backpack.

“And where are you going to go, huh?” she asks, tilting her head and dropping her arms to her side heavily, allowing her frustration to show for a split second before she remembers she’s still completely naked and dripping wet from the shower on the rug in your bedroom.

Taking a step forward to get in her face, you startle her, not expecting you, soft gentle y/n, to approach her in such a way. Leaning back when you stepped forward but not breaking eye contact. You watch her leg start to bounce as she gets more anxious realizing you were angry in a way she had never seen, fire behind your eyes noticeable as you adjust your stance to show her you weren’t backing down and you were no longer scared to lose her. 

Movement feeling foreign to her as she’s unable to keep calm like the Nayeon you knew of. Backed into a corner and baring her teeth as you confront her about her wrong doings, is an attempt to control the situation and she was about to try an old tactic that had worked previous to this. 

Playing with the belt loops on your jeans, she brings her voice back to the sweet one you used to know,  “Are you just going to keep running away from me? Or can we talk this out? I thought we were okay. I thought we could get past this together” Retorting in a semi-cooled tone. Eyes watering again and the block of ice in your chest is trying to thaw in you as she leans in to put her satin lips on yours for a small second of contact before you avoid the affection, knowing you’d crumble at the act. Not allowing yourself to fall into her grasp again, knowing she was willing to hurt you in an incomprehensible way, and feel no guilt.  

“That was before I saw those texts and before I found the bag of secret Jihyo shit in the closet, Nayeon!” 

Looking down at the phone you handed her to read the message. The realization of what’s happening washes over her face, it couldn’t be played off as a misunderstanding anymore. She had been caught red handed and had to deal with the consequences. 

Nayeon leaned in harder to her act of fake innocence, insinuating that you were in fact the big bad for violating her trust like she wasn’t the one who burnt yours to crisps and used the ashes as eyeshadow.

“Why did you go through my phone?” She crosses her arms, pushing her breasts together. She’s trying to distract you with multiple tactics but it wasn’t working, her act faltering when scrutinized. . 

Extremely angry, your brain couldn’t see her as anything other than an enemy. “Is that really what you’re worried about right now? Our entire relationship was a false front for you and Jihyo and all you can do is try to flip it on me?! …Who made you like this?” harshly asking just trying to understand what she had to gain from hurting you in such a way. 

“You don’t trust me?” Nayeon says sweetly, touching your torso again. Pulling away roughly, unable to  believe it’s even a question she thought would be a good to say out loud, when you both knew what the answer was. 

 “You have been cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship and you have the audacity to ask if I trust you? Fuck you.I gave you the opportunity to be honest with me and you threw it right back in my fucking face, Nayeon!” laying into her, letting out every drop of anger she caused you through your teeth.

“3 years of what?! You completely ruined everything, our entire relationship was fake so you could fuck Jihyo without suspension! So absolutely not, I don’t trust you in any sense of the word.” voice starting to crack as you tear up, “and to think I was actually going to propose to you” letting the sadness of the future lost memories drain out of you onto the person who caused it all. 

Speechless and not believing that the docile person who was head over heels for her could have such venom to spit. A new light is shining down on you as you display your livid behavior. Oddly, even more attracted to you than she already was, she was in a trance as she realized what you said. 

“You were going to…propose?” Quietly said back to you. Her eyes are saddened as she starts to understand the weight of her choices and all the things that will never happen again between the two of you. The guilt cuts deep, creating a sharp sting in her chest as a heart string popped.  

Rolling your eyes and open the drawer in the kitchen that normally is reserved for “junk” to pull out a little black box, slamming it on the counter. “I really wanted to…” allowing yourself to be vulnerable for a moment as she reaches out to open the jewelry box and sees the perfect ring. 

The pear shaped diamond in the middle was huge, with little diamonds laid into a rose gold band. This is how she described her dream wedding ring to you on your 3rd date. You wrote it down in the notes of your phone for the moment you would need it, thinking she was the one. 

Eyes matching the diamonds, sparking with light as they fill with tears. She never thought about how much you paid attention or how well you knew her. Too wrapped up in playing her role with both you and Jihyo to even think that you were set on her being the one you wanted to spend your life with.  

“I need you to tell me how it started. I need to know why.” speaking cold heartedly, keeping the distance between the two of you. 

“...It did start with a drunken night. That was true. I never tho-” She started as she lowered her eyes. 

“Look at me when you’re talking.” deliberately call her out, rattling her a little bit, her face turns red, eye wide as she goes to speak again.

“I never thought that it would go this far with her. I really was genuinely upset when Jihyo told me what happened the first time. I didn’t remember anything at all and then she convinced me not to say anything and then we hung out a few days later and…it happened again but sober this time and it just never stopped. There was no emotion behind it for me, I swear. I love you, not her.” 

A freight train crashes through you as you reel at the information hitting your ears. 

“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to claim you love me when you’ve been living in a black light paradise with someone else this entire time.” hissing dispassionately to assert your words.

“But two things can be true at once, like you always say…” throwing back at you with a smirk knowing how much your own rhetoric being used on you makes you angry. 

Aggressively grabbing your backpack again and heading towards the door again, once intimidating, now a way to safety as you jerk it open, feening for escape from the heavy atmosphere. Your steps are quick and precise as you make your exit. 

 “I made a mistake, y/n. She’s not you. She will never be you.” Almost shouted at you as one foot stepped over the threshold. 

 “You were the mistake and I hope your guilt drowns you.” 

– 

An anchor pulls your heart to the bottom of the ocean. You told Nayeon to drown but it was you who couldn’t swim. Pulling harshly at your arteries as you sludge towards your car, feeling as if you’re moving in slow motion just trying to escape the shark infested waters.

Remembering this same feeling from before, but this one was much more certain. With the evidence in front of you, the admission from both parties, and the way Nayeon spoke to you- there was no more safety in who she portrayed herself to be. The illusion has smashed into shards of false love, leaving you to pick up the pieces. 

You drive to Momo’s house, not bothering to call before showing up, you don’t think you could speak anymore, your jaw is tense the entire way there to hold everything in. 

Walking up to the door and hitting the door bell, the dogs bark to alert their owners. The locks click open and the door cracks open to reveal a surprised Momo. 

“Y/n, what are you do-“ cutting her off as you collapse into her arms. You kept it together long enough to get to your best friend, but now the dam was broken and unable to contain the pure pain that was born from the cruelness Nayeon showed you.

Momo drags you into the house and sits you on the same couch you slept on days before, sitting next to you and trying to comfort you as you shake and sob, wrapping your arms around yourself trying to create a sense of safety for yourself that couldn’t be torn from you.

“Y/N, what happened?” Momo is so concerned with your inability to calm down, it’s starting to make her upset. 

Dahyun walks into the room, hearing the commotion. The loudness of your sobs ringing in her ears with her heart sinking into her stomach as she sits on the other side of you, joining Momo’s effort to comfort you. 

Shakily breathing as you try to regulate yourself yet again, this time it feels harder than the last because at least last time there was hope. You are only experiencing extreme sadness and betrayal, with a lot of anger mixed in it but there was no hope present.   

Unaware of how long you’ve been crying as Dahyun gets up “I’ll go make up the guest bedroom.” Rubbing your back as she walks past you. 

“Thank you,” you squeak out through your teeth, struggling to calm down. 

Momo has a look on her face that could cut diamonds. Anger radiating off her cheeks as she grabs her phone, taps it a few times and brings it to her ear quickly, she stands and taps her foot waiting for the other person to answer.  

Nayeon is heard on the other side, “is she with you?” 

Momo’s face is repulsed by this considering the state of you in front of her but she answers the question anyway,

 “Yes, what happened? She’s obviously not okay. Tell me what happened.” Momo’s arms are crossed, standing up she shifts her weight from one leg to the other. 

“I don’t know, she just got upset and left”

“Nayeon, I have known you for years.You’re lying. Y/N wouldn’t just show up sobbing uncontrollably for no reason, so tell me what happened or I'm hanging up.” talking with her hands, raising them in a frustrated manner as the lies keep coming.

“Well if she didn’t want to hurt herself she should have gone through my phone.” annoyance present in Nayeon’s tone.

Momo looks over at you, devastated for the second time on her couch pulling your phone out in silence and showing her the text thread screenshots you had taken earlier.

“It’s not as big of a deal as it’s being made out to be.”

“Are you serious right now?” Momo harshly questions as Nayeon continues. 

“Are you going to question Jihyo like you questioned me? Or are we just gonna pretend like she’s not part of this too?” 

The sharpness in her tone was something you had witnessed before but the taste of her name coming out of Nayeon’s mouth was unbearable.

Momo gasps at the new knowledge that has now been thrown at her. Completely statuesque, as she tries to wrap her mind around what Nayeon just said.

 Momo’s eyes look up on your screen to reveal the name at the top of the text thread: Jihyo  

The rush of emotions she was experiencing was overwhelming to her senses, momo’s voice choked with tears as she spoke to Nayeon.

“Wait…what did you just say? J is Jihyo?!” Momo says in complete disbelief, shocked at not only what she’s reading on the screen but by what she was hearing from one of the parties involved.

“Yes. So please call and interrogate her. Can I speak with my girlfriend now?”

“No, you can’t. I am not friends with people who do this type of thing, Nayeon. How could you do this to y/n?” she shouts through the phone, hunched over with a hand on her knee, trying to understand all the pieces of this complicated puzzle.    

Momo, trying to keep the anger she felt under wraps, started pacing in the room taking laps around the couch as she spoke. 

“Nayeon…are you kidding me? How long has this been going on?” Confused was an understatement, Momo was completely overstimulated with the information she was being given. 

 Never noticing the connection between how close Jihyo and Nayeon were, always sharing hotel rooms on tour, finishing each other’s sentences, the looks across the room, Nayeon staying at Jihyo’s house frequently…it was all starting to add up and Momo is seeing red over the pain of her best friend being hurt beyond belief, and by someone who was supposed to be her family. She was just as angry as you were. 

“Momo, I don’t want to do this right now, Can I please speak to Y/n? I’m trying to save my relationship and not be put under a microscope by you.” 

“I can’t believe you would do this. You spoke of Y/n like she moved mountains for you and this is what you’ve been doing behind her back? I’m disgusted with you and your actions…and I’m pretty sure she’s your ex-girlfriend now but you knew that already, didn’t you?” 

Momo hung up quickly, not caring about what Nayeon had to say back to her. More worried about you and your emotional state than anything Nayeon had to say.

 “Did she tell you why or was it her avoiding the question?” inquiring as she took a seat next to you, giving an apologetic look and a bear hug to try to make you feel better. 

“She told me enough for me to want to leave my home, technically she didn’t even tell me, I found a secret bag of Jihyo stuff in our closet with a bunch of pictures of them together, and one shot of them kissing, wax sealed love letters and jewelry.” Voice cracking and shaking as you bite back more emotion. 

Momo gasps as the story unfolds before her, she can’t believe what she’s hearing. It is so polar opposite of what she expected of her members. She always thought they were kind and loving. She imagines what y/n might be feeling in all of this. 

“I am so sorry. Please let me know how I can help you get through this.” reaching for you to pull you into a warm embrace. 

“Well, I’m definitely going to need to find a new apartment so if you want to help me with that I’d be grateful.” half chuckling through some tears, trying to add a little light into the situation. You hated the idea of someone else being upset because of this situation.

“Consider it done” Dahyun walked back in with swollen eyes, sniffling. She probably overheard the argument Momo just had and was reflecting the same amount of empathy as Momo was. 

“We can start tomorrow!”

—

About 3 weeks went by and you were slowly showing signs of your old self. You were going out with friends again, hanging out with Momo a lot, and starting to become present again, no longer constantly seeing the rewind of Nayeon’s innocence faltering behind your eyes. Still receiving texts from Nayeon at least 2 times a day. They served as a reminder of what once was. 

Momo and Dahyun were patient with you, letting you speak with them about the effects this trauma was having on your mental health. It’s always hard to watch your loved ones go through something this difficult but it was obvious that they were proud of how you were handling it, even if it was hard. They were always there to remind you that you could do hard things. 

Finding a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom that was close to Momo and Dahyun’s, signing the lease immediately. It was a slight upgrade to the studio that you and Nayeon occupied previously. The kitchen was bigger, the natural light was brighter, and the bathroom had a large bathtub that you could fully lay down in, which you were looking forward to. 

Spending a week finding the perfect furniture for it, designing the interior however you wanted and making it your own space without someone else’s opinion in the back of your mind was fun. You enjoyed doing this for yourself, fixating on something that had to do with you alone. You felt the ashes from previous ruin sprouting stems as you tried to move on.

You had really been focusing on yourself, trying to resurrect yourself after total devastation. Pulling out the roots, and planting good ones so later on you could reap the benefits. Changing the perspective of your brain was hard, but well worth it.

Being in a better place mentally and emotionally as your sense of stability was so close to being present again, you thought it was time that you continue with the last step of separating from Nayeon.

There was still some stuff you wanted to get back at your old apartment but you didn’t want to run the risk of Nayeon being there. You had no desire to face her, especially while you were still mending. You decided to reach out to her to let her know you’d be coming by to get the rest of your things. 

“Hey, I’m going to stop by today to get my stuff. I’d really like it if you weren’t there.“ You hesitate to hit send, not wanting to come off in a rude way. Quickly realizing how absurd that was and hit send. 

 “So now you reply? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks… are you doing okay?” almost immediately after the message was delivered, like she has been staring at the thread waiting for you to say something. 

“That’s not your concern anymore. What is your schedule like this week? I won’t be long. I’d just like my things, thank you.” you replied with haste, just wanting this to be over. 

“I’ve got something scheduled at 5 today. You can come then if you really don’t want to see me.” 

You can hear the pout over the text message without any hint of it present in the text. This instinctually sparks sadness in you. Biting the inside of your lip and type out a few replies before deciding to just drop it. A wave of the past just flashed in front of you, causing you to fall into loneliness, something you’d fought to keep at bay. 

Checking the clock and it’s already 3pm, you finish up what you’re doing in the living room and take a cold shower before setting out to the apartment one last time.

–

Stepping into the once familiar place, you are hit with the smell of vanilla and sandalwood. “That’s odd” thinking to yourself, wondering if she’s left a candle burning as you walk in, sliding your shoes off by the door. She always forgot to blow them out after lighting them or would fall asleep on the couch with one lit. 

You were right, but with an added twist, the candle was burning in the center of the coffee table flickering against the shadows in the room around you. The flame was blocked out by the shadow of someone on the couch in the dimly lit space. 

“I thought you had schedules.” sighing, irritate at being met with another moment of dishonesty.

“I just needed to talk to you…” she whispers, she had been crying. Hearing it in her voice and seeing it on her face as she turned her back to the candle, taking in your features like it was the first time she’d ever seen you. A  tinge of hope runs through her, your face must be showing sympathy.               

“I needed you to be faithful and that was too much for you so I don’t really want to do any conversing with you.” asserting that you’re completely vexed by her as you walk into the bedroom to gather the rest of the stuff you were taking with you. 

Following you closely, a habit you used to think was cute as she watches you pick up small knick knacks from your childhood, clothes, and some other important tokens left behind. Sorting through every drawer to make sure you got everything, wanting this to be the last time you’re in the once shared life.    

Almosting touching you with how close her proximity was, she wondered if you’d give her some of your time so she could plead for you to stay when you finally spoke up. 

“Can you stop hovering so I can do what I need to and leave?” 

“Can you just talk to me for a second?” Nayeon replied equally annoyed and choked up as she watched you tuck all she had left of you away. 

Turning around to face her, “Fine! What do you want?” 

You’ve never shown her such apathy, the emptiness that rings in your voice hollows her chest out as she takes a few steps forward, you are surprised by the sudden closeness when she leans in and kisses you roughly. 

You gasp which leaves an opening for her to slide her tongue into your mouth, the neediness pouring out of her drenches you with adrenaline and you slowly succumb to her as she bites your lower lip and tugs gently. The world stops.

Every ounce of love you ever felt for this person came slithering back into your mind for a split second, followed by anger as you remind yourself of the betrayal. 

You can’t believe she’s just throwing herself at you. Body reacting exactly how you would expect when your recent ex partner kisses you like this, the familiarity of her hands on your body sends jolts of comfort and excitement through you and you aren't strong enough to fight the primal urge. 

Trailing her hand up your back under your sweater while keeping you distracted with her mouth and sinking her nails into your shoulders, dragging them slowly down your back, causing you to lean into the kiss even more, moaning into her mouth as she smiles. 

Falling into the trap she was setting and you knew it. 

Hands slowly find their place on her waist, she kisses your jaw whispering sweet nothings into your skin. 

“Baby, please stay” she lays another kiss farther down your jaw

“I know you missed this” laying another kiss

“You are always so hungry for me…show me”

She ghosts her lips up and returns to yours as she kisses you passionately, revealing pure lust as she grips onto you. Bringing your hands up to cup her face, allowing yourself to get lost in the breathy haze, heart pounding as you feel your body temperature rise, effects of the love that once was and the lust that now is. 

Spiraling in the dizzying moment,you and Nayeon sink into each other, closeness returning as you’re swept away by the intense feelings you’re both harboring. Hands are exploring as you fumble around, not allowing space between you as you both collapse onto the bed, hungirly taking each other in as you gain control, Nayeon is lost in the essence of you and it was your turn to hold the power.  

In addition to getting on top of her, you place your knee between her legs- just enough out of reach so that she couldn’t get a good position on it. You were going to give her this moment to remember and you were going to make her earn it.

The heat emanates off her as you rip off your sweater tossing it aside. She’s looking up at you like you put the moon in the sky as you reach your arm around and unhook your bra, letting the straps slide down your arms slowly, her eyes wide with anticipation as you remove it, throwing it on top of the sweater. 

Nayeon’s hands reach up, eyes darkened as she tries to touch you when you slam her hands back down into the softness of the sheets, pinning her to the mattress forcefully above her head, glaring into her with white hot anger.  

“No,” as you hold her in place, your body pressed against hers, faces close enough to feel each other's quickened breath. Nayeon sees the flash of spite in your eyes as you press your mouth on hers, it makes her ache while she is refracting desperation, subtly grinding on your thigh as she lets your tongue dance with hers.

Pulling back from the kiss to admire the sight before you; Nayeon is anchored to the bed by your hands, whimpering and grinding on your leg practically begging for you to fuck her. 

Faces return close enough for your lips to lightly graze, teasing her as you remind her where you stand, “Tell me… does Jihyo excite you like this or is this only for me?” with a sultry nuance. She squirms underneath you as you taunt her, her eyes flickering down to your thigh as she tries to grind into you to get some friction to satiate the ache you’re creating within her, only for you to pull your knee back just enough so she can’t reach it. 

 She whines “y/n…please, it’s only yo-” getting up before getting the full answer and dragging her legs to the edge of the bed letting them bend over the edge, pulling her shirt off frantically, exposing her tits. 

 The knot in her stomach tightens as she watches you become completely carnal, continuing toying with her. Lightly tracing her chest with your finger before you kissed her again, this time more aggressively as if you are claiming what had been yours. She groaned into it, always loving when you got like this, you’re ghosting your finger along the waistband of her sweats as you pull back from the kiss again and attacking her neck leaving a trail of dark marks down to her chest. 

“She’ll have to admire my artwork for the next week and I hope she enjoys it” leaving bite marks and bruises as you descend down slowly.

You take one of her nipples into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it, you can hear her breathing hitch as you roughly pinch the other one. Without letting go of her bud between your fingers you detach your mouth and slide your other hand up to Nayeon’s throat, lightly squeeze and ask “Does Jihyo fuck you like the slut you are? Or does she leave you for me to ruin?” 

Nayeon let out a wail as the words cascaded off your tongue, completely bewildered at what is happening right now as she feels the intoxication of your agitated demeanor wash over her while she grows impatient. Pushing back and trying to take the power from you when you mimic your prior movements and slam her down on the bed, letting her know that wasn’t going to happen.

“Don't. Move.” Stoically said while standing up, sliding her pants and underwear off to reveal a string of arousal clinging to the fabric and the soaked mess that she was. She was already clenching around nothing. 

“Pathetic.” You smirk. 

“Does she ever make you this wet?” as you part her lips with one hand, gathering her arousal at her entrance with your finger, and slowly bring it up to your mouth, sucking it clean. She rolls her hips up at the sensation, body screaming for more. 

“I told you not to move.”

Nayeon whines loudly, “Please, Y/n…touch me” begging for some continuous form of contact and being sure not to move while your stand above her watching as tears well up in her eyes. 

“...so needy… does she make you beg for it like this?” the words daunting as they snake out. 

“You’re so good at lying, I’m sure she thinks you belong to her.” 

“What was it that you said earlier?” following up slyly while lowering yourself between her legs, knees on the floor and arms are wrapped around her thighs, with hands planted on her hips keeping them in place. 

“You’re always so hungry for me…” breathing out as you traces patterns on her lower stomach and bring your face closer to her pussy, 

“…show me” she sighs out as you dive down into her folds, moaning intensely as you tangle yourself between her legs. She feels you devouring her sloppily, not leaving a single place unexplored as she tries to buck her hips into your mouth.

Nayeon is seeing stars as past experiences flood back into memory, senses heightened as you consume her more possessively than usual. She loves this version of you. 

Hands holding onto her so tightly as you start sucking on her clit, she squirms under your grip, squealing at the erratic pattern traced with the tip of your tongue before giving her the rhythm she craved so desperately. 

Nayeon’s breathing gets heavier as you stick to the pace you know she likes, building her up to where you wanted her. The moaning gets louder as you continue lapping at her, hands go up to your hair, locking you in place as you bring her as close to the edge as possible. 

Hearing her high pitched whines and feeling her pussy clench around nothing, completely stopping everything that you are doing.  

“Wha?!-..” she let out a groan that could’ve shattered windows as you stood before her, watching her react to the orgasm being ruined. 

“Why would you do that?!” she groaned out, squeezing her legs together again. You lightly smack her thigh, telling her without words not to. The slap radiates through the room and leaves a small red hand print displayed. 

Enjoying the blissful anguish on her face as you licked the evidence right off your mouth while removing your pants and underwear. Getting on the bed, straddling her, wetness visible as it drips off of you, she looked up at you with wanting eyes, hips still rutting, and knowing exactly where this was going.

“Did you really think I’d give you what you wanted so easily?” you start scooting up so that your knees are on either side of her head, a mere inch from her face.

“You’ll have to earn it.” Leaning forward and head between your legs, tongue out already anticipating the taste of you. 

A gasp echoes in your chest as she licks the inside of your thighs, making sure not to waste a drop of you before taking one big slow lick up your slit, doing that several times, causing you to thrust into her more before attaching her lips to your clit and finding the rhythm she knew you wanted. 

Drowning in her all over again as you feel the knot in your stomach stir, you need more from her but she wasn’t going to give you that right away.

“Naye- ..fuck, just like that -on” you whine her name, slowly start to fuck her face. 

“More.”  Demanding breathlessly, feeling your release building throughout your body, muscles tightening as she shakes her head no, trying not to remove her mouth from you.

“Nay-“  a guttural moan stops you mid sentence, knowing what she wanted from you. 

“Baby…please, I need you” pleasure all consuming, you’re aching for her inside of you.

Before you can ask again, a long finger slides into your core and starts pumping forward to hit your g-spot a few times before adding another finger. 

Another loud moan, as you steadily rock your hips against her mouth, building on the list you were already feeling. Close to breaking, you feel one of her hands slide up to your chest and start tugging on your nipple, that’s what sends you over the edge. 

Throwing your head back as your breath quickens, grinding against her face, with a death grip on her hair. Shaking on top of her as your orgasm rips through you, she keeps going, letting you ride it out. 

“Good girl,” you say breathly as you scoot back to straddle her hips again, body feeling like static as you come down. 

Catching your breath while looking at her cum covered face, you know you aren’t finished with her just yet. Leaning up to you, wrapping her arms around you and kissing you. Tasting yourself on her as you pull her arms off of you.

“I missed the way you taste.” she cooed as you stood up again, half wobbling as you were still recovering. 

“Didn’t I say not to move?” sternly rolls off your tongue, her eyes widen as you push her back down roughly and spit directly onto her pussy. Not that you needed the extra lube, you spread it around her entrance before slamming 2 fingers into her.

“Fuck, Y/n…” she moans as you pump your fingers quickly into her, feeling how wet she is from the orgasm you stole. She thrusts harshly, forcing your digits deeper into her.

“You don’t cum until I say you can.” growled at her from between her legs - peering up to see her face, eyes clamped shut as she leaked out onto the sheets - impatiently waiting for you to stimulate her in some way. 

You can’t help but torture her a little. 

“Does Jihyo make you wet like this? Or is she a shit replacement fuck when I’m not around”

She doesn’t even hear what you’re saying while she’s writhing underneath you, completely fucked out and trying to focus on not cumming while you’re toying with her. Your mouth finds its way to her clit causing a frantic moan to rip through her chest, hands pulling at the sheets as she holds everything back.

“Ca- can I cum please?” She screeches between moans, nodding your head back to her while keeping the same circular motions going with your tongue on her clit, picking up the pace of the fingers inside her as she screams out - back arching, body tense, and clenching down on your fingers as she cums, gushing all over your hand. 

Trying to take a breath, she squeals because you never stop fucking her at a relentless pace; she’s immediately back to moaning your name. 

“Baby, What are yo-” words cut off as she loudly moans, giving her a second to try and finish the sentence. 

“Use your words” as you pick up the pace even more, holding her down onto the mattress with your left hand on her hip, pounding your fingers into her. 

Unable to speak coherently, almost screaming as she tries to formulate sentences. 

“You wanted to cum so bad, so give me another one.” Answering the question she couldn’t ask while snapping into her g-spot, bending down to put your lips on hers again, giving her a taste of herself as she moans into your mouth, unable to hold back from the feeling of being over-stimulated. 

She feels the tension inside her forming again, threatening to burst at any moment when you lean over to ghost your lips over her ear. 

“I bet Jihyo doesn’t make you cum like this.” Violent combustion dispels from her body as she tenses underneath you, screaming into your mouth and sinking her claws into your back while riding out her orgasm.

Both of you lay on the bed, attempting to catch your breath. She rolls over to you, and tries to curl up in your arms but you get up before she can get too comfortable.

“Baby, where are you going? Sleepily stated while staying on the bed.  

Silence as you put your underwear back on.

“Hello?” 

Silence as you slide your pants on 

“…are you leaving?” She says in a sad tone, leaning up on her elbows, watching you put your shirt on and gather all the stuff you came to get. 

“Yup.” 

She is in complete disbelief as you walk out of the bedroom door, hearing you put your shoes on in the kitchen and then hearing the door open. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?…what is that on your neck?” heard from the kitchen. Nayeon’s eyes widen as she realizes the time and the plans she made…with Jihyo. 

“I don’t really think she will be much use to you tonight but you’re more than welcome to try.” You say condescendingly to Jihyo as she stares at you about to walk out. 

“Oh, by the way” , turning your head to her as you open the door.

“I hope you like the way I taste. Enjoy.” smiling at her as you walk right out of the apartment. She stares at the front door in disbelief as she’s figuring out her next move, now in a similar position to where you were.

“Nayeon!” screamed loud enough for you to hear while you’re walking toward the elevator. Not even being able to help the smirk across your face knowing she’s about to get an earful. Laughing to yourself as you call the elevator.

-

Starting the ride home, you think about exactly what just happened. Unable to believe you allowed yourself to fuck Nayeon and act like that towards Jihyo. Thinking about it not with regret, but with a blend of malice and sadness. They were both important to you, previously but that’s reality anymore.

Looking into the rearview mirror at the complex behind you, almost a far-well glance for you as your phone vibrates in your pocket. 

Pulling it out to see Jihyo’s name across the top and hit the end button, sending her straight to voicemail. She calls again, same response. The third time your phone vibrates, you answer it 

“Can you stop calling me? I obviously don't want to talk to you.” sounding heavily annoyed. 

“…Y/n?” A familiar softness rings on the other line as you look at the phone number that isn’t saved.

“Oh…uhm, sorry…I thought this was Jihyo. I don’t have this number saved in my phone…”

“That’s alright” a small chuckle follows, “It’s Mina.”

"Mina?"

---

Take me Back to Eden - The Summoning - Part 5

#twice nayeon #twice smut #twice imagines #twice x reader #nayeon x fem!reader #nayeon x reader #im nayeon #wlw #kpop x reader #twice fic #twice angst

[emilysslvt]

Old love

You and Emily are old lovers.

tw: swearing, cheating, smut, kinda public sex, alcohol

Here you are, sitting at Rossi's for dinner with your team and your new girlfriend. But for some reason, you couldn't stop thinking about Emily. You wanted her to be jealous, you craved it even. But she just didn't care.

Although she didn't care, she sure couldn't stop staring at the two of you. You felt nervous, you didn't know why but you did. You just kept drinking your wine.

"So how long have the two of you been seeing each other?" You heard someone ask, breaking you from your thoughts.

You cleared your throat, "about a month now?" You saw your girlfriend nod out of the side of your eye, and she clinged onto your arm.

"Yes, and it's been great! Right, y/n?" She asked, rubbing your arm. You smiled, and nodded. You watched Emily as she shifted in her chair, trying her best to not show any emotion. She was good at it, but you knew her too well. You could tell it was getting to her.

Your team seemed to like her, "well welcome to the family!" Garcia said, clapping her hands. Emily rolled her eyes, getting fed up with everyone being in awe over your new girlfriend.

"Excuse me." Emily drank the rest of her wine before she got up and headed towards the kitchen. You wanted to follow her, but it'd be too suspicious. So you waited a couple of minutes, then excused yourself.

As you approached Emily, she had her fingers tangled in her hair as she leaned up against the counter. She sighed, turning around but she froze once she saw you.

"You okay, Em?"

She scoffed, "why do you want to know?" Rolling her eyes, she turned and grabbed another wine glass.

"Because unlike you, I actually care."

"And what's that supposed to mean, y/n?" You could hear the cockiness in her voice as she poured wine into her glass.

"You know what I mean."

Emily laughed, taking a sip of her wine as she turned around. "You think I care about your boring ass girlfriend? All she does is cling onto you and talk like a fucking hyper 8 year old."

You smiled, taking her glass from her hands. "There's the jealous Emily I know."

"I'm not jealous, y/n. You just could do better." Emily replied, taking her glass back.

You rolled your eyes, "Emily, I had better. Until you randomly decided to break up with me."

"It wasn't randomly."

"Then why? Enlighten me."

Emily sighed, drinking the rest of her wine before putting it down. "I broke up with you because I was falling in love and I was scared. It's hard to be in a relationship with another agent. Now that you're seeing someone else, I want to rip my hair out from jealousy. I want it to be me touching you, flirting with you, and telling everyone we're together."

"Well, who says you can't touch me?" You asked, getting closer to Emily. She tugged her lip between her teeth, knowing that drives you insane. You grabbed her shirt, pulling her into your touch.

You wasted no time as you slammed your lips onto hers. Emily ran her fingers along your chest, until she got under your shirt. You leaned into her touch, as she pulled your lip between her teeth. You knew how wrong it was, but it felt so fucking right.

Emily grabbed your waist, switching your positions so you were now against the counter. She roughly kissed your lips, but quickly pulled back, leaving sloppy wet kisses along your jawline leading down to your neck.

You leaned your head back, giving her better access to your neck. You felt her teeth against your neck, softly biting your skin. You untucked her shirt, needing to feel her skin, as you dragged your fingernails up her back.

Emily sucked on your skin before she lifted her head up, "you're so fucking lucky your girlfriend is in the next room, or else I'd have you undressed on this counter."

"No one's stopping you." Emily smirked as she slammed her lips against yours, and her hands were working on unbuttoning your pants. You needed her, but she loved to tease. She pushed your legs apart with her knee, pressing it against where you needed her most.

You let out a soft moan against her lips, making Emily bite your lip to shut you up. "Shut up. Your girlfriend doesn't need to hear your ex fucking you, does she?"

You nodded in response, starting to grind yourself against her knee. Emily had one of her hands on your waist, holding you in place, and the other pressing against your jaw.

"Emily, please.." You began to beg. The pleading in your voice, the desperation, it was music to Emily's ears. Emily smirked as her hands found your waistband. She slowly circled your clit, and she stopped every few seconds to tease you.

You held onto the counter, trying to push yourself against her hand. "Please, Emily. I need you."

"Since you asked so nicely," Emily whispered in your ear, pushing her thumb to your clit. Emily knew how to pleasure you, and how much you needed. She never failed to amaze you.

Emily's lips found your neck, biting and sucking your soft skin as her thumb ran circles against your clit. You bit your lip, holding your moans back.

You weren't prepared as Emily slid two fingers inside of you, moving them at a slow pace as her thumb hit your clit. You missed how good she made you feel, how fast she brought you to your orgasm.

Emily covered your mouth with her free hand, "as much as I love your pretty sounds, you need to be quiet. Not only is your girlfriend in the next room, but so is our team. I don't want them seeing you like this."

You nodded, trying to stay quiet. But as her fingers hit your g-spot, her thumb circling your clit, and her lips against your neck, it was too much. You felt a knot in your stomach, and you desperately needed to cum as the pleasure felt so fucking good.

"Hold it. Don't you dare cum yet." Emily said, biting your neck. You could barely think, or form a sentence. You needed to cum, you knew you couldn't hold it for long.

Her hand stayed over your mouth, your moans were getting louder as she kept slowing her pace down so you wouldn't cum. Every time you were close, she would slow down, making your legs shake in desperation.

"I love seeing you like this. You're a mess, you fall apart easily. How fast you cum for me, how desperate you are. How badly you want to cum." Emily mumbled against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

You couldn't hold it anymore, and Emily knew it too. "Cum for me, my pretty girl." She whispered in your eat, biting your earlobe. You dug your nails into her arm, as you came against her fingers. You mumbled Emily's name against her hand, as you came down from your high.

Emily slipped her hand out of your pants, sliding her fingers into her mouth. "Oh how much I've missed this." You watched her, biting your lip. She was so fucking beautiful.

"You look like a mess, love. Let's fix you up before anyone sees you like this." Emily smiled, trying to fix your hair and her makeup that was on your lips.

After a couple of minutes, you two looked as best as you could be after she just fucked you. You prepared yourself before walking back into the room with your team, and your girlfriend.

You should feel guilty for just cheating on your girlfriend, but for some reason, you didn't. You were going to end it, maybe that's why you didn't feel guilty. She wasn't Emily.

Your girlfriend smiled as you sat back next to her, "what took you so long?"

"Sorry, must've drank too much." You replied, grabbing your wine glass. Your girlfriend burrowed her eyebrows, looking at your neck. She moved your hair, looking at what was there.

"What's that? That wasn't from me, so who was it from?" She asked, standing up. Oh shit. Fucking Emily. You looked at your team, they all had confusing looks on their faces. All but Emily. She had a smirk on her face.

You struggled to find words. You wouldn't lie to her, but your team couldn't know about Emily. You didn't know what to say, or blame it on.

"Oh, sorry. That would be from me." Emily raised her hand, drinking her wine. A few gasps dropped from our team, and my girlfriend looked sad. She quickly grabbed her things;

"I can't believe you would do this to me! And with your whole team right here?" She said before leaving. It was awkward now, the room was filled with silence.

"You owe me $50." Hearing JJ's voice tore you from your thoughts, lifting your head to look at your team. Of course they had a bet, why wouldn't they?

"Fuck, I was so close!" Garcia sighed, handing JJ a 50 dollar bill. JJ laughed, holding her hand out to everyone else at the table. They all rolled their eyes, handing her the money.

"A bet for what?" Emily spoke, her voice deep and filled with confusion.

Garcia smiled, looking at Emily. "We knew you two were sleeping together or something, then it stopped. We had a bet on when you two would sleep together again."

"How could you tell?"

Derek scoffed, "oh, come on. We're a team of profilers, it was so obvious. The way you two looked at each other, touching each other when you thought no one was looking. Or how Emily would get jealous, especially tonight."

"I was not jealous!"

"Then you wouldn't have slept with her in the next room. If you weren't jealous, you wouldn't have done anything with y/n." Garcia said, making Emily roll her eyes.

You loved your team, and you especially loved Emily. It was always going to be her, even if it took you a while to realize it.

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss smut #fan fiction #criminal minds #my fic #paget brewster #fics #lgbtq

[eclairfromleclerc]

Hello people! It’s been a while since my last chapter but the writer’s block was humongous and I kept pushing myself to write the next chapter. It is another long one, almost 25K words. Please excuse me for my long ass absence and stay with me for the rest of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy the newest part and I can’t wait to see your opinion and comments on it. Take care. Until the next one <3 xx

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader!Horner) Chapter 9

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8

Monaco has the best sunny days in the whole world. You’ve loved going out under the Mediterranean sun every time your family visited Monaco when you were young. Now laying on the couch that you’ve spent almost all of your summers on, you see the light entering the apartment. Music plays in the background as your friend Sara is making coffee in the kitchen and you are laying in her living room as you’ve always done. 

After the victory celebrations on Sunday you left the track and flew straight back to Nice. Your childhood friend Sara picked you up and you’ve been staying in her family’s house in Monaco for the past 2 days. Those days passed by with your usual activities. Having coffee in the casino square, going out clubbing, cooking, gossiping and in general doing girly things. As soon as you arrived in Monaco you visited the apartment that Sara proposed and booked it right away as you had already asked for your belongings to be moved to Monte Carlo. The only thing left for you to do is to move all of those things to the apartment. The thing about being in Monaco is that now you are able to show the world where you are. During the past weekend there was just speculation about where you actually were. You had managed to place yourself in Monaco with some instagram posts but no one knew (well except for Toto and Lewis) that you still were in Jeddah.

“Sweetheart coffee is ready.” Sara yells from the kitchen 

“Bitch I don’t drink coffee” you answer “You haven’t seen me in a month and you already forgot?” 

“Shut up, I made you your Earl Grey just how you like to drink it” she says and you’ve already made your way to the kitchen 

“Thank you idiot” you tell her

“You’re welcome, your majesty,” she says, mocking you for your tea preferences. You sit down opposite to her and start drinking your tea. “So” she interrupts the silence “Do you remember Marc?” she asks 

“Marc who?” you ask

“Marc Taylor.”

“S, are you serious? Are you asking me if I remember the guy I had a crush on for ages?” you ask her

“Well you’ve met a lot of people since you started working in F1 and I genuinely thought you forgot him” she says “Anyways, he saw the story I reposted from yesterday night  at Jimmy’z and replied to it. He asked me if we wanted to join him today.” 

“Join him where?” you ask intrigued

“He will be having a brunch party at his yacht.” she says trying to hype it up 

“Ugh, I’m not sure I want to see so many people.” you say 

“Come on Horner, it’s going to be so great. We haven’t had a brunch party at a yacht in ages, the last time we did was when you graduated.” she pauses “Plus he told me not to hype it up, the only people there will be his friend group.” 

“Marc’s friend group is 15 people. I am only willing to see 5.” 

“Why are you acting like a 65 year old with depression, come onnn.”

“Because my job drains me to the point that I just want to stay at home with a cup of tea and read a good book. I am with people every day and during the weekend I am chased by cameras and fans.” you tell her as she looks at you mockingly “I know, I know. I chose this life and to be frank I love the whole fame,chase and clout that comes with it. But during my non-race weekends, I need to have a detox.”

“You had your whole week off, enough paddock detox, enough people detox. What were you doing in Jeddah? Meditating, visiting the four seasons’ spa, drinking coffee, eating expensive meals. That’s enough, now we get to party.” 

Little does she know that you weren’t actually meditating, not visiting spas, not even staying at a four seasons’ but at a Ritz. You take a look at your best friend as she puts on her puppy eyes. 

“Pretty please.” she says and she crosses her hands as if she’s begging “Do it for me Horner, it’s going to be fun. It’s part of your new life after all. People here in Monaco have brunch yacht parties really often, so you better get your ass ready. We are going.” she says.

You shrug in response, but actually get up from the chair and go to the guest room where all of your belongings currently are. You open your suitcase and take out the sundress you wore the day you and Toto went for coffee together and match it with a pair of Hermes sandals. The weather is now sunny in Monaco and you actually love how it is a great mix of sun, breeze and heat. You put on some makeup and style your hair as loosely as you can, you’re going to be in the sea after all. Later both you and Sara leave the house and go to the location that Marc dropped a pin on. You can hear people talking from the other side of the yacht, the one that faces the Mediterranean. You quickly jump on the platform on the back of the yacht and walk up to the place where everyone’s sitting. 

“Hello everyone.” you say and you see Marc standing up approaching you. Sara is just behind and she waves everyone but doesn’t get any closer to you. Marc comes to your side and hugs you. 

“Miss Horner.” he says in awe “It’s been a long long time hasn’t it?” he asks 

“It has. Thank you for the invitation.” you say “We brought a little something.” you say and you hand him the bottle of Dom that you’ve been holding. 

“It’s really no big deal, I wanted to see you and Sara so I just texted. Thanks for the Champagne.” 

By the time both of you stop interacting, Sara is already sitting on the table and speaking to everyone. You take a seat, far from her in the only two empty chairs and Marc emerges shortly after to take the seat next to you. Without asking he starts filling your plate. 

“You should definitely try the Croque Madame, it’s a miracle.” he says and you smile at him 

“I will, thanks.” you reply as you register his existence next to you. He’s the most charming guy you’ve met, well less than Toto but to be frank, you can see why you were heads over heels with him. At that moment you decide to snap a photo and text Toto.

You 

[Photo]

Much earned gift for my last week’s performance

Wolff

You better recharge, I want you on your A level in Baku. 

[Photo] 

The weather here is freaking awful, I miss Monaco. 

You 

Wait, you actually know how to send pictures? Monaco is amazing today. You should have been here.

Wolff

Replying: Remember who gives you access to the paddock. 

If I were there you wouldn’t be in that yacht right now.

You 

Toto behave, you’re at work. 

Wolff

I’m at a business meeting and I hate those so why not distract myself with some other thought. 

You 

Because I’m so hot you’re going to embarrass yourself. Gotta go now, I've got a whole yacht waiting for me

Wolff

I don't blame them. Have fun, just not too much ;)

You laugh at Toto’s texts as Marc watches you at the same time 

"Are you bored of us" he asks

"No, I just have to text someone" you reply 

"Red Bull keeps getting you busy I see?" he asks 

"Actually, I am not in Red Bull for the time being, I am just enjoying myself  and I am actually moving here next week" 

"Great decision to be honest. Monaco could use a distraction." He says 

"So I've been told" you tell him

"By whom?" he asks and you realize you cannot possibly talk about Toto with him 

"Just a good friend" you laugh 

“ah one of those best friends, I get it" he says and you nod not showing any emotion at all over what it meant

“Are you enjoying yourself in F1?” he asks trying to start conversation with you

“I am. It is a space I’ve grown up in and I already knew everyone as well as everyone knew me. There’s nothing different as to what I’ve lived up to now except for the fact that I have a little bit more screen time than I used to have 5 years ago.” 

“Well 5 years ago I used to see you almost every week and now I have to watch F1 to see you.” he says

“You watch F1 now?” 

“I always watched F1.” he says 

“I’m pretty sure you’ve only watched the Monaco Grand Prix.” 

“Until this year.” he replies “Plus I have a really good reason.” 

“What’s the reason? Max’s racecraft?” 

“Nah, you are” he says and you freeze temporarily

“I’m flattered.” 

“I meant it as a compliment so you should be.” he tells you and he looks at you with a flirty look and you turn to look at Sara who is already too invested in her conversation with Marc’s friend, Tristan. 

The rest of the brunch party goes on in a pretty similar way. Marc keeps flirting with you and Sara is way too busy to come to your rescue. At some point the yacht leaves Monaco and sails in the Mediterranean for two or three hours while all of you party on the deck. Now the sun is setting down the horizon and you return back to the harbor of Monaco and the party has already winded down so you find yourself sitting on a chair sipping your last glass of champagne. Sara is nowhere to be seen, probably too busy making out with Tristan on the inside of Marc’s yacht since they’ve been missing for the last 45 minutes or so. The chair opposite to you is empty but not for long. As soon as Marc spots you he leaves his friends and comes to your company. 

“Did you enjoy the party?” he asks

“It’s been a while since I partied like this but I loved it. Now relaxing with a glass of champagne is the must thing to do.” 

“There’s plenty of space inside if you want to lay down for a while.” he tells you

“I think the space might be occupied by our friends and as close as I am with Sara today isn’t the day that I want to listen to her having sex with your best friend.” you laugh

“The yacht has 6 cabins. I very much doubt all 6 of them are taken.”

“6 cabins huh? The Taylors really have given it some thought before spending money on this yacht.”

“Yeah, my mom insisted. But hey, that’s why we’re working our asses off every day. To spend on things like this.” 

“So you are working?” you ask him

“Yeah, I’ve taken over some of my dad’s companies and I’ve been living between Monaco and Switzerland for a while.” 

“And how is it?” 

“You know how it is. We’ve learnt to live in this world. I love the job but really that’s all I focus on. Thank god all these fuckers are around and remind me that I need to have a work life balance.”

“Oh my god. Marc Taylor is a workaholic?” you say surprised “You need people to remind you to live for a while instead of working?” 

“My mom is so afraid that I won’t even have a wife that she’s trying to get me to meet eligible bachelorettes.”

“Lisa is actually doing this?” you ask shocked

“Lisa has been asking me to ask you on a date for months” he tells you and you laugh hysterically.

“Well tell Lisa that I am twice the workaholic that you are. I am not working and living, I am living my life at work. I am constantly working.”

“How does it feel?”

“It does get a little lonely at times. But as you’ve said I’ve learnt to live like this ever since I was a baby. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to support me.” you tell him and what he does next surprises you. 

He leans closer and puts a hand on your cheek and kisses you. You don’t react. Partly because you were caught completely off guard and partly because your 19 year old self would die for this kiss but the only thing in your head that played over and over again is “You can’t do this to Toto” .  He pulls away from the kiss and you smile but he’s looking for something more and you know it. 

“Marc,  look I am so flattered that you actually like me. My 19 year old self would be dead right now. But as much as I used to like you then, I cannot do it now.”

“You’re not into it huh?” he asks partly heartbroken partly surprised

“It’s not that. It’s that there’s someone else in my life right now and the things with me and him aren’t that simple so I wouldn’t want to further complicate it.”

“I understand.” he says “Although Lisa would be thrilled to have you as her daughter in law, I have to destroy her dreams.” he laughs

“I am so sad. Tell her I love her regardless and if I end up alone you’ll be the first one I will flirt with.” 

“Bold way to tell me I am the second option.” 

“Oh god no that’s not how I meant it. It’s just that you never know how life will play out. We might end up married managing the Taylor Group and Red Bull Racing, but we might just end up as two workaholic friends who push each other out of their working space.”

“That’s true.” he says 

For the next 10 minutes you discuss and when the yacht finally arrives at the harbor you leave the yacht before thanking everyone. You and Sara walk back home and she keeps talking about her and Tristan during the whole way to her house. You keep quiet about the whole thing with Marc and let her vent about what happened for the rest of the day. Late at night just when you’re ready to go to sleep, her in her bed and you on an inflatable mattress Sara is still talking about Tristan. 

“He actually texted me like 5 minutes ago, I can’t believe it.” she says “We are plann-” 

“Marc kissed me.” you say interrupting her mid sentence

“WHAT?” she screams and jumps on her bed

“Yeah, you were too busy screwing Tristan on those cabins but when we arrived at the harbor, he sat down next to me and kissed me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asks completely shocked

“Because you were venting about Tristan and I knew you would react this way.” you answer

“Well why aren’t you reacting in this way? You’ve had a crush on him since forever.”  she asks

“Had. Past tense.” 

“Well, do you have someone better than Marc to hook up with? His father is a freaking billionaire and he’s about to inherit all this. He’s handsome and kind and he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” 

“Yeah, now he’s not the one I am dreaming of. Plus, believe it or not, it’s not always about the money.”

“Are you out of your mind? Who is possibly a better option than Marc for you right now? Well, to be frank Charles Leclerc is. You’re not sleeping with Charles Leclerc are you?” she asks and you laugh 

“If you actually knew who the guy who is the better option you’d definitely think I’m out of my mind. And no, I am not sleeping with Charles Leclerc, sadly.” you tell her

“If you don’t spill, I will kick you out.” 

“I most definitely cannot tell you.” 

“Come on, we’ve known each other since we were in the womb, your family is my family, what tells you that I could possibly say anything to anyone?” 

“Okay, I will tell you, just because you actually are my best friend. But don’t you dare say anything to anyone or I will be destroyed. Oh, tell me your wildest prediction.”

“Just so that I have a clear target group, he is from F1 right?” she asks and you nod “Omg, is it Max? Because if it is Max it will be the most iconic friends to lovers boo-” she starts ranting and you interrupt to shock her once again

“It’s Toto Wolff” 

“WHO?” she looks at you like you are a lunatic. 

“It’s freaking Toto Wolff, Team Principal of Mercedes AMG Petronas F1” you tell her and she looks absolutely shocked

“You are definitely out of your freaking mind. Since when are you into older guys and how the hell did that happen?”

“I always thought he was attractive but was blindsided by Christian’s hate for him. But long story short, I got drunk once and we hooked up and it’s only been going downhill from there. I’ll have to explain it to you when I get to my new apartment.”

“I am absolutely shocked.” she says “Is he at least treating you right?” she asks

“We are just hanging out but he’s been decent I’d say.” 

“Now that I am thinking about it,  he kind of is the better option.” she says and she visibly loses herself in thought 

“Just so you know, the only people who know about all this are you and Lewis.” 

“I have a common secret with Lewis Hamilton?” she asks, showing her clear preference for him. 

Your answer is to just laugh and then say goodnight to her. 

The next day you are being woken up by the light entering the room from the window that you forgot to close. It’s the day that you will finally move to your new apartment in Monaco. You grab your phone first thing and you see millions of notifications, more than usual. Your first thought? Something bad happened. And indeed something had happened, not exactly bad, but the headlines from the news, tweets and tags are somewhere in between the tone of

“Red Bull Racing’s newest management addition shows her love with a billionaire’s son in Monaco.”

The first article wrote: Miss Horner and Mr. Marc Taylor were spotted getting cozy at the latter’s yacht party in Monaco harbor yesterday. The pair shared a kiss and they seemed to exchange some fond words. We are excited about this new romance blooming in the streets and seas of Monaco. Are we going to see the Taylor Group entering F1 alongside Miss Horner’s Red Bull Racing? It’s only a matter of time to see.  

“Shit, shit, shit” you keep saying and Sara who has only woken up looks at you like you’re crazy

“What?” she asks

“It’s all over the freaking internet.” 

“You and Wolff?” she asks nervously

“No, god, it’s me and Marc” 

“Wait, how did that happen?”

“Someone must have snapped a picture of us while we were kissing when the yacht was in the harbor. God this is a disaster.” 

“Why is it a disaster?” she asks. Well sometimes you really doubt about her having a brain

“If Toto sees this he’s going to be feral.” you say “Oh god, I should text him right now to let him know that the whole thing is a lie.”  You open the iMessage app

Wolff 

[Photo] 

Flying to Nice from the UK, I’ll be in Monaco for the rest of the week. 

You check the time that this was sent. Yesterday afternoon. You were probably at the party then and you accidentally deleted the notification so you didn’t see the message afterwards but now you decide to reply. 

You

I hope that you have arrived in Monaco safely. I am sure I will see you somewhere here before we get the chance to meet all alone. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier but I must have accidentally deleted the notification while I was at that yacht party yesterday. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about the whole thing going around on the internet. 

You see that your messages are being instantly read but you get no reply. 

“The moving truck will be arriving at the apartment in 20 minutes, we must get going. Come on, get ready.” Sara says

“S, Toto is leaving me on read, do you think he’s mad at me?”

“No, he’s probably too busy in those company meetings back at Brackley.” she tries to reassure you 

“Toto flew to Monaco yesterday afternoon, he’s not at Brackley.” you tell her

“Well, he’s still working from Monaco so he might reply to  you later. Girl, we really don’t have time for this. It’s moving dayyy.” she says trying to hype you up. “Up, up, up” she says trying to grab you “The moving guys will be at the apartment and you will be lying here all day? Let’s get ready to move in. You’ll worry about Wolff later. And at the end you told me that you’re just hanging out, it's not anything serious so you’re free to do whatever you want. And if he’s sure that you want him he won’t even believe those things.” 

You stand up before replying and put on a pair of sweats and a Red Bull t-shirt to be comfortable while moving in. “I know that we’re just hanging out at the moment. It’s just that the things are confusing as it is now, I don’t want Marc Taylor confusing them more than that.” 

“He won’t. But you’ll have to worry about it from your new bedroom so, shoes on, grab your bag and let’s go to the apartment. 

You do as she says and 20 minutes later you are outside your newest home getting the keys from the owner while the guys are removing boxes and furniture from the truck. 

“Well, you are here.” Sara says. “I have to confess it looks really pretty and modern.”

“Sara, it’s just the outside of the building.” 

“But still it’s pretty. The actual apartment is prettier though” she says and she instructs all of the boxes with your belongings and furniture to be moved to the 6th floor. For the first time in your life you will be living at the top of a building. You and Sara take the elevator to the apartment. You unlock the door while the guys are waiting for you and you enter using your right foot first.

 “It’s for good luck.” you say to Sara and she smiles doing the same 

For the next 5 hours you and Sara assemble your furniture and unpack the boxes with all of your stuff. You show her your ideas on how to put everything into place as you’ve imagined it and as you’ve seen it on your pinterest moodboards. At some point both of you try to settle the bed in your master bedroom. A new queen sized bed that you bought after seeing how big the room is. The one side of the loft is covered in full length glass windows that have a great view to the mediterranean with a huge balcony just in front of them that you will probably enjoy your morning tea in, during the non race weeks. The light enters every room, giving them a great coziness and openness. While you two are trying to move the bed just in the right place you remember that now you happen to have neighbors. 

“Shit S, are we making too much noise?” you ask

“Well, if you know another way that we can move this monster bed and not make a sound, let me know.”

“What if the neighbors are annoyed?”

“They can fuck themselves, it’s not even quiet hours yet.” she says and you help her do the job.

After the bed gets in the right place you lay there for a second

“Horner, come on, what are you doing?” 

“I am too overwhelmed by this, we’ve been working for 5 hours nonstop and this thing isn’t anywhere close to a living apartment.” you tell her

“Oh and wait till I leave you to go to the gym.” she says

“Come on Sara, you are working out here can’t you just skip the gym today and help me a little with those boxes?” 

“I’ve been doing it for the past 5 hours if that says something to you. I will be leaving in half an hour though. And don’t worry. You can take it one step at a time and after some time you will manage to unpack your whole stuff.” she says smiling

“I hate you.” you tell her and you go back to work. 

You set your new office in the living room,  just in front of the large window so that you get enough light and inspiration from the views outside. You also set the couch and the coffee table in front, as well as your new TV. Half an hour later Sara leaves indeed for the gym, leaving you all alone for the first time in your newest apartment. That’s when it hits you and you grab your phone. The messages you sent to Toto, still unanswered and it’s been a long time since he’s read them. You decide to give him a call. You press his phone number and wait for him to pick up. You hear one, then two, then three rings and then it goes straight to voicemail. You hear his voice that you haven’t heard since Sunday. The phone rang but it went to voicemail which means that he’s declining your call. You try once again, the same thing. You get it, he’s probably angry with the whole thing but if he doesn’t want to talk to you nor do you. Instead of overthinking it you throw yourself back at moving. You blast some Taylor Swift on the speakers that you connected first thing as you entered the loft, and drop a huge box of books in front of you which you put on the built-in shelves in the living room. You use your ladder to fill the upper shelves that you cannot reach by yourself. You keep dancing, moving things, chairs, couches and tables. At some point you hear the door knocking. You turn the music off and run to the door. 

“Who is it?” you ask and you hear a voice from the outside of the door

“I live downstairs and I wanted to let you know that it’s quiet time now, you are annoying us with all that music and moving things.” the voice says. You feel very embarrassed about what you did and the last thing you want is to piss your neighbor off so you decide to open the door and apologize. But when you do you freeze. 

“Toto?” you say and he looks at you, his eyes wide as if he just saw something unbelievable 

“What are you doing here ?” he asks

“This is my new apartment in Monaco, I was just moving in.”

“You’re joking.” he says

“Do you actually live downstairs?” you ask thrilled

“I do yeah, I live on the fifth floor loft.” he says 

“How was England?” you ask and he looks at you. 

“Fine.” he replies, obviously bothered.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I texted you this morning but you didn’t reply.” you say “I also tried calling but it went to voicemail.”

“Talk to me about what?” he asks acting like he doesn’t know

“About Marc Taylor. Toto, I know you’ve seen it, it’s all over the internet.” 

“I mean what would you possibly have to say about Marc Taylor? It’s a shared secret that you’ve been wanting him since high school, everyone in Monaco knows it. You must be over the moon though. Handsome, rich, young and charming. Everything you’re looking for.” 

“You have to believe me Toto.” 

“Believe you about what? You clearly wanted the guy since forever so why not give in?”

“You fucking know that the whole thing is fake.”

“There are pictures,” he says, keeping calm. 

“You know how it fucking is Toto, those reporters only take whatever they think will make people engage more with their stories. They only caught the kiss but after that I told him that there is someone else in my life.”

“I wouldn’t know. I am not the one going around boat parties in Monaco and kissing strangers.”

“Just admit you are jealous.” you say

“Now you know what? I find it really pretentious that you get to be angry with the whole Cynthia thing and I am suddenly overreacting to seeing you kiss other guys.”

“It is not the same.” 

“No, it is exactly the same and your position is way worse than mine because me and Cynthia haven’t seen each other since this thing started.” he says

“Well, it’s not like this “thing” is something exclusive so I can see and kiss whomever I want.” you say 

Toto turns and looks at you and this is the first time you see a kind of hurt in his eyes

“Do you ever shut up Horner?” he asks

“I’ve told you before, only if I am made.” you say and look at him 

Hearing these words probably makes a bell in Toto’s head ring because the next thing he does is to grab you by both hands and pin you against the wall like he did the first time he kissed you. He looks down at you as you look up at him and he leans in to kiss you but you push him just a little and grab his hand. You put it against your neck and once he gets the memo he applies a little pressure that makes you go crazy. He kisses you slowly and you kiss him back in enjoyment. A few seconds later he grabs you and runs into the hallway searching for your bedroom. Once he finds the bedroom with the queen size bed he rushes and pushes you to the bed. You lie on your back looking at him. The power that this man holds, you think. You slowly begin to undress him, freeing him of his gray sweatpants and leaving him only with his boxers on seeing him growing hard as he looks at you. 

“Is the bed new?” he asks and you nod

“What a way to use it for the first time huh?” you say and he laughs 

“Let me tell you something Horner, I don’t want you anywhere near me with a red bull shirt ever again” he says and he strips you off of the red bull shirt “It’s the biggest turn off.” 

“I can see it” you tease him. At first he seems pissed off but then he takes your sweats off and then he does the same with his T-Shirt. 

“Enough talking” he says and he leans in for a kiss which you deepen immediately. He leans in on you and you push him towards you from his neck as he stabilizes himself by putting one of his knees between your thighs. You feel the intrusive thought in your brain and you grind yourself on his knee

“Much needy I see ?" he asks and you do nothing but look at him 

“Can’t resist mister Wolff” you say 

“As you should miss Horner.” he replies and his hand moves to your chest while he starts kissing you on your neck. You feel him leaving hot trails of kisses on you as his hand cups your breast. Well he certainly has a way of doing things. His kisses leave you wanting more, needing more so to make yourself feel good you move your hips against him once again and you can feel him laugh against your skin as he moves his hand against your panties 

“So wet already” he whispers to your ear sending shivers down your spine “Does he also do that to you?” he asks clearly, talking about Marc. You shake your head as the words were kind of hard to come off your mouth 

“Use your words baby” he says 

“No, he does not” you say while your breathing is getting heavier

“Is he better?” he asks and you shake your head once again. 

“Toto please, I need you.” you say and he obeys to your plea.

He removes his briefs and pushes your panties to the side as he enters inside you. It feels good. Better than it had in Jeddah. You gasp at the move and you dig your nails on his back as he kisses you. He suddenly grabs your hands and removes them from his back while thrusting in and out in a slow but great way. 

“No touching today.” he says and holds your hands over your head with his strong grip. He keeps moving as you let small moans escape and you feel like you’re in another word. You want to touch him as well and right the time that he loosens his grip on you you try to move your hands but his grip gets stronger and smashes your hands back to the place they first were. You complain for a while but he makes you feel so good that this is the last thing you care about. 

“You’re so good love. Always feeling so good.” the pauses between his words are getting bigger, showing that he’s feeling as good as he does. “Good god.” he says once again and you laugh at him. He keeps going strong though, changing the tempo of his thrusts, hitting and touching all the correct places. You feel getting closer and closer to your climax but instead of laying calm you start leaving kisses on his chest. 

“You make me feel so good.” you say “Fuck Toto, you’re so good. God no you’re perfect.” 

“Are you close?” he asks 

“Yeah” you say and you gasp “You?”

“Very” he says in between his grunts. Some minutes later you come first and he follows you shortly after while repeating your name.

Right after that both of you lay naked on your new bed. Toto is caressing your hair as you are laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He breaks the silence first 

“Are we good?” he asks

“I am good” you reply

“I am talking about our fight.” he says

“Oh I thought that it was established when you were repeating my name while having sex with me.” 

 “You’re right.” he says and stares outside the window while the sun is setting. Both of you sit in silence for a minute or two until you break it

“He’s not better.” you say 

“Huh?” 

“Marc Taylor. He’s not better than you. It was nothing but a kiss, Toto.” you tell him “And yes, he might be a European billionaire’s son and he might as well be hot and charming but you are also all those things, which surprise, happen to be everything I seem to look for in a man. But I need you to know Toto, in my eyes you are more charming and hotter than him. I would give Marc Taylor up for you but I wouldn’t give up you for Marc Taylor.” you tell him and you look up at him while he’s staring at you, clearly paying attention to what you were telling him. 

“Thank you.” he says 

You keep laying there and by the time the sun sets you are already asleep. You wake up an hour later and you see Toto is also taking a nap. You nudge him and he wakes up. 

“What is it ?” he says being somewhere between asleep and awake

“Nothing, we just fell asleep here.” you say

“You’ve got a nice bed. Good choice.” he says

“I know but I have to get up to finish the rest of the apartment.”

“No one is helping you?” he asks

“Sara was here until she abandoned me to go to her gym session. Now I have to do this all by myself.” 

“You know you don’t have to do all of it today right? You are going to be exhausted. Plus I can also help you with unpacking.” 

“No, you probably have work to do. I’ll do them by myself and tomorrow Sara will be here to help me” 

“Who is Sara?”

“My best friend. She’s the one that found this apartment for me” you tell him

“So she’s the one that I have to thank?” he asks and you nod while laughing. 

“You will meet her as soon as I get back to Red Bull.” 

“Which is going to be when?” he asks

“I know you want to get rid of me but I don’t have any information yet. Beth usually sends me my schedule the week before each grand prix and judging by the fact that she didn’t send it until now, I think this won’t be the weekend you are looking forward to.” 

“Maybe you should start packing your things for Baku.” he says

“I don’t have anything to do there.”

“Come on, I told people Mindy Rosevelt will hang with us for a while longer.” 

“Second race at Mercedes?” you ask excitedly

“The Ritz in Baku has already been informed that we would like an extra suite.” 

“Toto, a suite? Again?” 

“You always need a suite, love.” 

“Do you have plans for Baku?” you ask

“How about we go to the paddock together, you sleep in my suite and you help us during the race?”

“So you only want me to be there to tell you about Red Bull’s strategies so you can win?” you say playing offended

“I only want you to be there because you make it easier for me to focus when you are next to me rather than in the garage next to ours. And because I want you in general.” he says

“That’s a good excuse.” you tell him 

“After all, even if it was only for the strategy part, you should remember that all’s fair in war.” 

“And love.” you say 

“That also” he replies 

“When are we leaving?” 

“Wednesday night, with my jet from Nice airport.” 

“Good.” you say

“Put some clothes on, we are going to unpack the rest of the boxes.” he says 

“Yes sir.” you say

“Sir huh? Remind me of that the next time I am laying in bed with you” he tells you and you laugh as you stand up to put some clothes on.  For the rest of the evening you and Toto unpack the boxes that you and Sara left. Both of you laugh as he makes fun of your music taste. He even dared to make fun of  Taylor Swift, which you did not take lightly but still forgave him when he danced with you in the living room of your new apartment and when you both watched the harbor from the balcony. It is almost midnight when he decides he has to go. 

“Why do you have to go now?” you ask

“The apartment is almost ready, Sara can help you set up the last box and I have to work tomorrow, unlike you.” 

“You are literally working from home and your home is downstairs, why can’t you stay for the night and leave tomorrow night?” you complain

“Because this is your apartment, your space. You have to spend the night alone to get used to the feeling.”

“I’ve lived alone before, I know how it is.”

“Yes but now it’s different, you'll see.”

“Can’t it be different with you here?” 

“It can, but I am positive you will be better off alone for this night.” he says “We won’t be lost after all, I will be downstairs, you can call me any time.” 

“Okay” you tell him “Can I kiss you goodnight?” you ask

“What happened to you? You are too expressive!” he says

“I know, you are not used to it.” 

“No, I am used to you being expressive, just not very emotional.” 

“Changed state of mind” you say 

“I like it.” he says “And to answer your question” he leans in and kisses you deeply “I was going to do it anyways.” 

You smile at the gesture “Goodnight Toto.” you say 

“Goodnight love.” he replies and he leaves. 

You close the door and walk straight to bed where you immediately fall asleep. 

The next day you text Sara and she drops by for a morning coffee in your new balcony. As soon as she enters the loft she looks around. 

“Wow Horner, did you get any sleep?” she asks

“I actually did.” 

“How did you unpack all of those boxes by yourself?” 

“I didn’t do it by myself” you tell her 

“Omg, who did you invite?” 

“No one, a neighbor helped me.” 

“Oh, you’ve already met your neighbors? That’s crazy. Are any of them hot?”

“Yeah I met one of them because he wanted to complain about the noise. And yeah, he was hot. In fact for me he is one of the hottest.” 

“What happened to Miss Toto Wolff is the hottest man on earth? Did she disappear?” 

“No she didn’t, because actually Toto Wolff IS the freaking neighbor.” 

“What the hell?” she asks “Girl I need coffee and Monte Carlo air STAT.”

You make her coffee and your tea and go to the balcony where you sit on a big white table. 

“Turns out Wolff is my freaking neighbor. He’s living downstairs and he heard the noise during quiet hours so he decided to give me a notice.” 

“But when he saw you he forgot what he noticed” she says

“No actually he did make the notice and then we pretty much fought for Marc, ended up having sex, had a nap and then unpacked all of my boxes. We danced together in the living room and then he left because he had to work today.” 

“You used the bed for the first time to have make up sex with Wolff?” she asks

“I pretty much did yeah” you tell her

“You are crazier than I thought you were.” she says 

“I am crazier than I thought I were” you say 

You tell her everything that happened yesterday night as both of you drink your beverages watching the view from your balcony. Later on Sara helps you unpack the last box and your apartment is finally set.  The next few days you pass your time by hanging out with Sara and your other best friends who happen to be in Monaco. Toto drops by some days and you two hang out for some hours until one day you finally ask him for a Mercedes project to work on so you can spend your time by being more productive. Days pass and it’s finally Wednesday morning when you are actually packing your clothes for Baku. You take mostly summer clothes even though you won’t be able to wear any of the to the paddock. You also take your extra Mercedes shirts and pants as well as Toto’s Mercedes shirt. You make sure everything is there. After that you call Sara to drop by so that you can say goodbye to her and spend the rest of the day alone at the apartment until Toto knocks the door to let you know that your driver has arrived and is ready to take you to Nice to finally fly to Baku.  A car ride and a flight later you and Toto land in Azerbaijan. Both of you wait in the jet until the car is ready to take you from the plane to the hotel. At that time the cockpit door opens and you take a look inside. The pilot who goes out of the cockpit is not Mike. You raise your eyebrow at this and you look at the door more intensely for Toto to notice.

“What are you looking at?” he asks looking up from his phone

“Our pilot.” you say 

“What about him, are you not satisfied?” he asks

“No, I am. But the question is, where is Mike?”

“He’s on leave, why?” 

“Just wondering”

“Why would you care about him?”

“Because I like him” 

“Noted” he says and turns back to his phone without speaking

“Are you jealous Wolff?” you ask

“No” 

“Are you sure?”

“End of discussion” he says and you laugh

“Okay sir.” you tell him 

After that the crew opens the door and you get off the plane. You already made sure that you have your mask on you so people won’t recognize you. Back to the same old ways. You take a ride to the hotel and you walk straight to your suite in which some other Mercedes employee checked you in before you arrived. Toto goes back to his own suite even though he asked you to hang out with him instead. You settle down in your suite and check Toto's schedule for the weekend

13:30-14:00: Press conference

14:10-14:50: F1 Team Principal Meeting

14:50-16:00: Coffee Break

16:00-17:00: Team Meeting

18:00-20:00: Business meeting

20:30: Dinner  

You open your phone and text Toto

You

I’ve been taking a look at your schedule, is everything to your agreement?

 Wolff

Yes, all is checked and approved 

You

Good to know. By what I'm seeing, it’s going to be a full day. I mean press, team meetings and business meetings

Wolff

Oh is it actually on my schedule?

You

The business meeting? Yeah it’s tabbed in from 18:00 to 20:00. Should I remove it, is it wrong?

Wolff

No, let them believe that I’m busy during that time.I have already planned something. It’s not a business meeting, it is supposed to be a meeting for us two but I told Brad that I will be busy so I guess he thought it was business related

You 

Oh, so I am busy  from 18:00 to 20:00 too? What are we going to do ?

Wolff

 I would let you be curious but we are supposed to go to a boat trip in the Caspian. I’ve chartered a boat for a couple of hours and then we will be having dinner too, so please do not wear high heels.

You 

Oh I love boat trips so no high heels 

It’s not like I could put heels on though, I will be dressed in the Merc gear all day long

Wolff

Well pack another outfit but still no high heels

You 

Okay then.  I guess I’ll see you later?

Wolff

Tomorrow

You switch your phone off and fall asleep for a few hours. It’s already early in the morning since you left Nice at night and the flight lasted a long time but thank god you didn’t have to be at the paddock until noon. You wake up at 11 and order some breakfast. You get ready and phone Toto to let him know you are ready. 10 minutes later you are on your way there in his black AMG SUV and you see the fans taking photos of the car. Well it’s Toto they’re taking pictures of since they have no idea about who you actually are. You get out of the car and go to Merc’s hospitality. You wave Toto goodbye and you go to your office while he’s off to his. Later on you hear a knock at your door. 

“Who is this?” you ask

“Mindy, it’s Lewis.” you hear a voice 

You stand up and put your mask on before opening the door. Better safe than sorry. When you open the door you see that it’s indeed Lewis so you welcome him in. You take off your mask and sit on the little couch

“How is it going?” he asks

“Everything’s good, thank you. How are you?” 

“Good. You know how it is. Just running around, trying to keep up with everything.”

“Lewis Hamilton trying to keep up? I am pretty sure everyone is trying to keep up with you, not you with them.”

“Well yeah, when it comes to F1 it’s pretty much how you say it is. But in real life I have so many things to keep up with.” 

“I bet you do. Like I am pretty sure you are flying to New York as soon as the race ends.”

“I am. Met Gala.” he says and you laugh

“So you won’t be here for post race celebrations if you win. I guess I should hand the win to George this time, or maybe let Red Bull win.” 

“Don’t you dare” 

“I won’t Lew, you know you’re my fav. But if you want to secure the win, I need to get in the Met next year.” “Deal.” he says

“Oh god Lewis, I was only joking.” 

“I know, but I am pretty sure that I can land you an invitation.”

“We’ll see until next year.” you tell him “Is Roscoes coming to the gala?” 

“No, I am actually sending him back to Monaco for the week and then he’ll be with me in Miami.”

“Where is he going to stay in Monaco?” 

“At the pet hotel.”

“Why don’t you leave him with me ?” 

“In Monaco?” he asks

“I live there now” 

“You do? I can leave him with you, of course.”

“If you don’t fully trust me I can ask Toto for his help. We live in the same building.” “I have so many questions about this but I have to go. It’s gym time.” he says

“We can figure out the logistics about Roscoe later. Have a good session Lewis.”  you tell him before he leaves the office 

For the next hour or so you hang out in your office all alone and when it is time you leave the hospitality center to accompany him to the press conference. Just when you are outside the press conference center you see Christian and by his side a really familiar face that you cannot remember. You take another look at her while Toto stops dead in his tracks. 

“What?” you ask him and he looks confused. You take a look for a third time. You see a familiar girl dressed in Red Bull gear talking to Christian. It’s then when it clicks. The girl is Cynthia. Cynthia Jones dressed in Red Bull speaking to Christian. What the heck is this about? You can feel the anger rising to your chest

“Breathe” you hear him say

“That’s too far” you tell him 

“It’s crazy.” he says “Go talk to her, find out what this is all about.” 

“I will" you say

“Just be careful not to reveal too many things" 

“Of course" 

Toto glances at his watch. 12:55 

“I should get going, press is starting in 5" 

“Okay, I'll see you later" you tell him and he nods “Do you wanna meet here?"

“I’ll be straight off to the TP meeting. I will see you during the coffee break, okay?”

“Okay” 

“Try to find out what Cynthia is doing here.” he says 

“I will” you tell him and you smile

“And if you are too angry about what you find out, I have some files you can take a look at while you’re waiting.”

“Okay” you say and you leave him. You spot Cynthia hanging out outside the press center and you decide to approach her

“Hello.” you tell her

“Hi” she replies and smiles “Oh, you’re Mindy right? The girl who gave us the Mercedes tour in Jeddah?” 

“Yup, that’s me.” maybe not “What are you doing here?” you ask her

“I landed a job in Red Bull Racing. Isn’t it crazy?” she says 

“Oh definitely. You went from visiting the paddock to actually working here, congrats!” you try to play excited when you are actually fuming

“It was meant to be. I landed the job when I was visiting the paddock in Jeddah.”

“How come?” 

“Christian Horner met us at the paddock club and he asked what we were doing. Once I told him about my studies in management he asked to see me in person and then he proposed this job.”

“What’s your position?” 

“For what I’ve understood, I am currently sort of  replacing Christian’s daughter while I am also acting like his PA.”

“Oh so management?” 

“It’s still too early for that title and I definitely don’t have that much freedom as an executive does. I am thinking it more like an internship in management while also being a personal assistant to Christian.” 

“Oh Christian” you say and you roll your eyes 

“He’s not as bad as everyone thinks he is.” she says “He might actually be better than Toto” 

“Yeah, nah” you tell her “Toto is actually definitely more human-ish than Christian.” 

“And how would you know? Have you ever worked with Christian?” she asks jokingly. If only she knew

“No but judging from the paddock rumors he seems to be a tough one to handle.”

“Absolutely not. He is really kind and funny. Really chill type. He made me call him by his name since day 1. It’s really like we’re friends.”

“That’s really good for you.” you say

“What about Toto?” she asks. As if she would let it go 

“Mr. Wolff is really nice.” 

“You’re not calling him Toto?”

“No, he prefers to keep things professional. He’s more into being formal and things.”

“Must be boring” she says

“It’s pretty good for now and I’m always guessing, familiarity might be a little too much at some point.” 

“Christian has been saying this about his daughter.”

“He has?” you ask slightly nervously

“Yeah, he said that working with family might be a little too overwhelming at some point.”

“Well he’s kinda right. Did he say why she left?”

“From what I’ve taken they decided that she should take a break and she’s currently hanging out in Monaco in her new apartment. He’s thinking of taking her back by the Monaco Grand Prix but he’s not sure yet.” she tells you 

“Oh, well. Whatever suits them best.” 

“Yeah, we are not the ones to judge.” 

“Definitely not.” 

“It was really fun talking to you again Mindy. We should hang out sometime.” 

“Yeah definitely.”  It’s not like you slept with the man I am sleeping with. you think 

You wave at her and leave the press center to wait until Toto finishes his morning tasks. You open the F1TV stream and watch his interview. When Will starts asking a question to Franz Tost you decide to text Toto about your findings. 

You

Turns out Cynthia Jones is staying in my life for good cause apparently Christian hired her in my position during the Saudi GP. And I wasn’t even out of the team for a week 

You see him holding his phone and taking a glance at it while Franz is speaking. He rolls his eyes and puts the phone back in his pocket. You stay once again in your office, going through Toto’s schedule for the weekend and looking at your socials. Some time later your phone rings 

Wolff

She’s going to make our lives hard but it's very typical of Christian to hire someone from the first day that you left 

You

She even proposed that we should hang out

Wolff

If only she knew 

You 

That’s what I said

Wolff

She was waiting outside the press center for Christian and now they’re both in front of me walking to the TP meeting. She’s talking and Christian is laughing like he’s having the time of his life

You 

I figured she’s that type of assistant cause according to her she and Christian are practically besties now. It’s going to be a good one when I get back to rb

Wolff

Remind me to mount a secret mic and camera on you when that happens cause I want to see the Horner-Jones fight. 

You

I bet you she’s going to regret the day she agreed to that position

Wolff

Whoa, too aggressive. How about checking some data before the coffee break cause rumor has it that you love reading data and commenting on them 

You 

Anything to get her off my mind and anything for you Mr. Wolff

Wolff

I’m flattered. There’s a file in your email waiting for your comments and questions. Bet Bono is going to be thrilled. I am off to the meeting, see you soon.

After Toto’s messages you check your email to take a look at the file he sent you. It’s full of data and details about this year’s rocketship. It is then when it hits you. The data are from the simulator and the track they’ve been using is Barcelona. In Red Bull you always used to run simulations in Barcelona so you have the exact same data from your ex team. You open them and start comparing them and finding where Mercedes lacks compared to Red Bull. You also open Adrian’s and GP’s essays on car performances and start noting any questions or things you’ve noticed. You really hope Toto will actually use them in his meeting with Bono and James. However, you keep all of the comparisons to yourself. You are not sure Toto is in favor of cheating so you will probably announce it to him later during the coffee break. You make a new file and email it to his account.  Later on you hear a knock on your door. 

“It’s Toto” you can hear him say and you unlock the door for him to enter. 

“Hey.” you say

“Hi, how are you feeling?” he asks

“I am good. I read all the data and I relaxed so much.” 

“Well, I, on the other hand, almost had a fight with Christian.” 

“Why?” you ask

“Because he was being a douchebag.” 

“Nah, he was just being Christian” you tell him and he laughs

“Was the data any good?” 

“Yeah, I also emailed you my questions and stuff.” 

“Oh, I will be forwarding them to James and Bono.” 

“Speaking of the data, I saw they were sim data from Barcelona.” 

“We use Barcelona almost every time for our simulations.” 

“Well, it turns out, Red Bull does too.” you tell him and he looks at you, suggests to keep talking “I have the comparisons fully made here. There’s also an excel file with all the lacks and the sections Red Bull might present an advantage.” 

“This is interesting.”

“I know Toto. But the thing is, I didn’t email those to you because I didn’t know if you wanted to have access to all that information.” 

“I totally get it.”

“You should understand that this is confidential, but if you decide you want it, it will be in your inbox right away.” 

“This file can affect the whole development path for us.” he says

“I know, that’s why I kept it.” 

“You should keep it for yourself.”

“I swear I won’t give this to Red Bull.”

“I trust that you won’t” he says

“I will always have it at hand if you want to use it though. Anything for Mr. Wolff” you say and both of you laugh

“Thank you.” he says “Do you want some coffee and a snack? It’s coffee break after all.” 

“No, thank you. You can leave this tiny office and enjoy your coffee in your office. I feel bad for keeping you here.” 

“I am only hanging out here because I want to.” he says “But I’ll leave you alone. We’ll have enough time tonight.” 

“Of course.” you smile at him

“Meet you after the team meeting ?”

“I will be waiting.” 

Once Toto leaves for his coffee break and the team meeting later you decide to go out and see the track. There are some bikes available at the hospitality center so you grab one and ride at the track of Baku. You see other people doing the same thing, some of the drivers are also doing their track walks. At some point you spot Max. It’s been a while since you talked considering the fact that you didn’t even see him in Jeddah but you kept texting during that time. When you spot him it is in your impulse that you almost yell at him to go and talk to him. When you remember that you are actually supposed to be an unbothered Mercedes employee you change your mind, and as you are caught up in your thoughts you almost lose your balance. Thankfully you save it before you find yourself in the ground or the barriers and you keep your direction and finish your lap. 6 km later you are back in your office, thankfully not sweaty since you took your time to circle the track, and you also have a cup of tea and a chocolate bun as a snack. You take a bite as you see today’s headlines from the Media day and you also take a look at some market news. After a while Toto texts again

Wolff

Just finished asking all of your questions to the mechanics and they were impressed to say the least because they managed to assess some really important things for the race

You 

Next time I should be present in those meetings

Wolff 

I will personally make sure of it. We will be done in 25, I’ll pick you up. Don’t be late

Those 25 minutes pass by quite fast and you don't realize until Toto is knocking at your door. Thankfully you packed your stuff earlier so Toto cannot complain about you being late. 

“I am impressed.” 

“I didn’t actually understand how fast the time passed. Thank god I had my things packed.”

“That’s why I texted you earlier.” he says

“Yeah but you cannot complain now.” you reply

“No, the truth is I cannot.”

“Are we going straight to the boat?” you ask

“Yes, that’s why I told you to pack another outfit. Tell me you didn’t forget”

“I did not” 

“Good. Now get your stuff, we are leaving.” After that both of you leave the track and go to the boat Toto has chartered for a couple of hours. He helps you hop on the boat and he does the same

“Are you going to drive this?” you ask

“Are you scared?” 

“It depends on whether you are driving this thing or not”

“I am driving” 

“Are you allowed to do this?” 

“You are shitting yourself” he laughs

“Yeah because if we drown, imagine the headlines people will write.”

“We’ll be the next Rose and Jack.” he says

“Yeah, almost.”

“Just so you know, I am fully capable of navigating the boat.” 

“For real?”

“I have a sailing license.”

“Is there anything you can’t do ?” 

“Think straight when you’re with me.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.” he says and you take a look around and see people walking up and down the harbor  “What about finally leaving? We’re going to miss the sunset if we take any longer.”

“Let’s go” he sails and he undocks the boat. 

The two of you sail in the Caspian leaving the Baku port behind you. Toto is making sure that everything he does is safe, occasionally checking on the radar to see whether there are other boats in close proximity. You sit by his side and snap a couple of pictures of  him while he’s driving the boat. He looks absolutely stunning. It’s already late afternoon, 19:00-ish and the sky is starting to get sweeter, indicative of the sunset later on. When you are finally out of the waters in a space that is far enough from the shore but close enough so you can distinguish the structures of the city, Toto drops the anchor and stops the boat there. “That’s quite a nice view.” you say 

“I figured you would like it” he says and comes to your side 

“You can actually see the whole city from here.”

“I figured that since we are not able to see the city together on foot, maybe this is the second best option.”

“It is. Although I would have loved a nice walk and a tour of the old city.”

“I would have loved that too.” he says as you keep looking at the city behind you and puts his hand on your lower back. 

“This right here, is the Maiden Tower," Toto points at a tower and your gaze follows his finger

“Legend has it that a young princess jumped from the top and ended her life because her father wouldn’t accept the man she loved."

“Hope I won’t end up this way.”

“God, I hope not.” he laughs and you shift your gaze to the two largest towers in the scenery

“The flame towers.” 

“I know them Toto, I’ve been coming to Baku for a while.” 

“Let me give you a tour, Horner. Don’t be shit.” he says and you smile

“Go on then.”

“The flame towers were finished in 2012. The building is a little less than 200 meters and it has a double purpose. In the first tower there are a lot of offices and apartments and in the second tower there’s a hotel.”

“What are they supposed to mean?” 

“They are meant to symbolize the eternal spirit of Azerbaijan and the country's enduring strength and resilience. Plus the whole flame design idea came from an Ancient Azerbaijani tradition of fire worshiping.”

“I love them, they look so pretty.” 

“And right beside there’s the crystal hall.”

“Never heard of it” you say 

“Eurovision was hosted there in 2012.” 

“Wait, how do you know, are you a fan ?” you ask him 

“No, I hate Eurovision.” 

“What?!” you say surprised. “You’re European, you cannot hate eurovision.” 

“I can, and I do.” 

“But why?” 

“Because it’s kitsch”

“It’s not kitsch, it’s camp, everyone loves camp.”

“It’s kitsch and I hate it, move on.” he says

“I cannot wait for the day that I will make you watch it.”

“I’d rather Christian find out about us.” 

“That’s a bold one” you tell him

“Last but not least, the fortress.” he says ignoring you and points to it

“I’ve seen the fortress, I took a ride at the track today.” 

“How did you like it?” 

“It’s so pretty, but it’s prettier from the sea. And much more interesting when you talk to me about it.”

“Hm” he says and he puts an arm around you 

“How did you learn all those things?” you ask

“I read a lot, even if I don’t have time to see the sights, I like to read about them, get to know the story of the city that I am in.” 

“That’s fair. I was wondering because I’ve been here like five times and I’ve never gotten past the name of each sight here.” 

“That’s good because you can for once, not talk and let me show you around.”

“You’re the best tour guide I’ve ever had.” you smile at him and you leave a kiss on his cheek. 

During the next hour you stay on the boat in the Caspian and see the sun set on the horizon. You take a look at the flame towers which reflect the orange and pink lights of the sunset. You snap some pictures of the scenery as well as Toto who is sitting carelessly in the boat with his white linen shirt and his sunglasses on. He also snaps some pictures of you from both yours and his phone and you also take some selfies. You immediately set the best picture of him as his contact picture and once you are done with the whole photo thing you get back to where Toto is currently sitting and relax with him for a little while longer. You two soak in the views without talking much. As it starts to get darker Toto drives the boat back to the harbor where you dock and leave to get to the hotel. Both you and Toto enter the elevator to get to your suites

“You’re coming over for dinner right?” he asks

“Well, I was thinking of getting some sleep for tomorrow.” 

“Come on, I’ve already asked roomservice to have our table set.”

“Now I can’t say no.” you tell him and smile at him. When the elevator gets to your floor you walk out and follow him to the door of his suite. You enter first and he follows and the smell of food hits your senses.

“It smells fantastic.” you say

“It’s traditional Azerbaijani cuisine.”

“I love it. We should have tried the Saudi Arabian foods as well.”

“Well, nothing can go wrong with Italian.” he says

“Then why didn’t we order Italian” you tease him

“Because I wanted to immerse myself in the Azerbaijani culture today.”

“Is it a part of the guided tour?” 

“Well, couldn’t it be?” he says “Since I’ve already given you a sight tour, I am ready to give you a culinary tour as well” he tells you as he pulls the chair off the table so that you can take your seat

“Thank you.” you tell him and you sit down as he walks back to his side of the table and sits down

“This is called Dolma.” he says as he leaves one of them on your plate “It is grape leaves with a filling of minced lamb with rice and some herbs.” 

“Interesting” you say as you take a look at the plates on the table “Oh god, is this kebab?”

“You know kebab?” he asks

“Literally everyone knows what kebab is Toto, it’s not a secret. It’s actually one of my favorite street foods.” 

“It is really good.” he tells you as he grabs a bite of it “You should also try out the pilaf” 

You take a look at it “What is this?” 

“It’s something like a risotto I guess” 

“I thought you knew the exact recipe of every single plate” you tease him

“Apparently I don’t, I just took a look at the menu and chose what I thought was best.” 

“Everything looks delicious though.” you tell him

“Wait until Miami. We’re going to eat some great burgers there.” 

“Speaking of which, I am not sure that I will be in Miami”

“Why ?” 

“Because it was cringe enough last year, I won’t submit myself  to that whole cringe fest again.” 

“You will be coming.” 

“Says who?” 

“Me” he replies and you sit there taking another bite of your amazing food, slightly annoyed . When he realizes that what he said made you angry he talks again. “Look, it is really important that you should be there. It is supposed to be your home race, we’ve told everyone that you are American, if you are only staying for a few more races it will be weird if you are not present for the only time you will get to go to a race in your country with the team.”

“No one will remember Toto.”

“People will remember. We have a list of each race in which we note whose home race it is. And by what I’ve seen you are already on the list.” 

“I didn’t write my name anywhere.” 

“I am pretty sure Bradley did. He probably remembers that you are American and just added you in.”

“And what about the home race list?” 

“We are kind of celebrating it by giving them less time to work during the weekend, or allowing them to bring their families in.”

“That’s so sweet though.” you say 

“I mean, people are important to us, they are not just workers, they are our companions.”

“I hate this team” you say and you see Toto lifting one eyebrow at you “I mean, I hate how much I already love it. How am I supposed to go back to Red Bull?”

“You can just stay in Mercedes.” 

“And say what to Christian?” 

“Tell him that his team is shit, his management is also shit and that you cannot grow in that shitty environment.”  

“He’ll find out that you told me to say that and then you will find yourself on the cover of Corriere dello Sport.” 

“Won’t be the first time.” he laughs “ Jokes aside, would you ever consider leaving Red Bull?” 

“Now I certainly do. I mean, I hadn’t seen anything aside from how Red Bull worked as a team and the race weekend at Saudi was eye opening.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I am already considering it, yes.”

“Will be nice to have you here one day, without hiding I mean.”

“I wasn’t talking about Mercedes. I am considering an offer at Ferrari.” you tell him jokingly and he almost chokes at his wine

“Where?” 

“Ferrari. It’s a really great team with a great legacy.”

“Ask them for a paddock pass for tomorrow then.” he says and you burst out laughing

“I am only joking.” you tell him “I would consider it if I had an offer from another team though.”

“We will always have a position available for you if you ever decide to leave that shithole.”  

“I’ll tell you when this happens.”

“There’s a when, not an if, that’s good.” 

“I know what’s best for me and I am slowly convincing myself it’s not Red Bull”

“Good.” he says and you two keep eating until you hear someone knocking on his door .

“I’ll be right back” Toto tells you and answers the door. You can hear him talking with someone, his voice is quite familiar. 

“Shov?What are you doing here?” 

“Do you have some time to see tomorrow’s practice program?” you can hear him say

“Um, I am actually a little busy.” 

“It will only take a second, you should only check and approve it.” 

“I fully trust you Andrew, I approve of it.”

“Good.” he says and he almost leaves “Are you having dinner with someone?”

“Yes, with Lewis, we are discussing contract extensions.” 

“Has he been here a long time?”

“An hour or so.” Toto tells him

“That’s funny, because 20 minutes earlier I was at the gym with Lewis.”

“Um…” 

“It’s okay Wolff, I hope you are having a good time with whomever you are hanging out with right now” he says and laughs “Hello unknown person who is having dinner with Toto.”  You hold your laugh until Toto says goodnight to him and he leaves the room. When you see Toto entering the room with his ‘I fucked up’ face, you burst out laughing and he joins you seconds later. “I hope he was not angry” you tell him 

“No he wasn’t angry, I am pretty sure he was thrilled about the whole thing. He’s been trying to get me someone to hang out with for ages.” 

“You are good mates huh?”

“He’s one of my closest friends, yes.” 

“And he still asks for your approval for the program he wants the team to follow tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I’ve told him millions of times that it’s not necessary but he insists.”

“That’s so sweet of him.”

“I am only taking a look at it before approving it, it’s not like I pay that much attention, I fully trust him.” he tells you and you keep eating

“When are we leaving for Miami?” you ask

“We? I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I am, I also have to bring Roscoe with me, I promised Lewis that I will take care of him from Sunday till we get to Miami so that he doesn’t have to while he’s in New York for the Met.” 

“You promised Lewis that you will carry Roscoe all the way from Monaco to Miami?”

“That we will carry him, yes.” 

“How did I get involved in this? I don’t remember having any conversation about a dog.”

“I told him that I would take care of him and then I promised that you will help me since you’re now my neighbor. I figured you would know him a little better than I do. I mean Lewis brings him to the paddock almost every week.”

“And have you ever seen me with a dog in the paddock?” he asks

“No, but I thought you had a good relationship with him.”

“Me and Roscoe’s relationship is nonexistent, Horner.”

“Oh god, tell me you are afraid of Roscoes” you make fun of him

“I am thinking of leaving Nice on Thursday morning.” he says

“You are changing the subject.” 

“I am not, you asked me when I plan on leaving for Miami and I answered.” 

“Thursday huh? What about Media day?” 

“I’ll have Shov or either one of the two James to do it and we will be present for the Free practice.”

“Cool.” you tell him 

For the rest of the night you hang out together until you decide to leave.

“Will we be going to the paddock together?” 

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? Hold up, let me check.” you tell him and grab your phone out of your pocket to take a look. “Oh you have a business meeting after FP1 which is supposed to last almost until the start of FP2. James is set to do the press.”

“I don’t remember having any business meetings. Who is it with?” 

You take a look at your phone reading the name which catches you completely off guard. You blink twice and take another look at it, still the same name. “Who planned this?” you ask

“I don’t know, I don’t remember planning anything for Saturday. Maybe Bradley did.” 

“This cannot be real.”

“It better not be Cynthia again.” 

“Who cares about her right now?” 

“Will you tell me who I am meeting tomorrow for whatever reason or am I going to this meeting unprepared?”

“The guy you hated last week, Marc Taylor?”

“Seriously?”  

“I am dead serious Toto, his name is here.” you tell him and show him the name on the schedule. “You are supposed to discuss sponsorship. Apparently the Taylor Group is interested in investing in F1” 

“This is going to be a hell of a meeting.” 

“This is going to be a disaster.” 

“Funny that both of the people from our past keep appearing in our ways.” 

“It’s not funny, it’s shit. Toto, promise me you will handle it gracefully.”

“Dear, I have nothing to be afraid of. You’ve proven to me who you’re always thinking of. It’s pure business. If he wants to invest and it favors the team then we shall cooperate.”  

You take a deep breath “That’s too much information and it’s already getting late. I am guessing I should get going.” 

“Won’t you stay for the night?”

“Nah, it’s quite early in the race weekend and I want you to focus tomorrow. Both for the testing sessions and the Marc thing.” 

“Okay, see you tomorrow?” 

“I am actually thinking that maybe I should skip FP1 since Marc will be around, I don’t want him finding out who I am.”

“Smart idea.”

“I am going to drive myself to the track and meet you for FP2” 

“Brunch at the track?” he asks

“Oh definitely.” you tell him and you kiss him goodbye as you go back to your suite. You don’t have anything to do so you decide to check your emails before going to sleep. You see a new message popping up the list From: Netflix, DTS

Miss Horner, we would like to schedule our next shooting with you for the newest season. Please let us know if and when you are available to be present at the track where the interviews take place.Kind Regards, The DTS Producers

You shrug and decide to answer From: Ms. Horner 

Hello and thank you for contacting me, I am currently taking some time off the team and I am not aware of which race weekend I will be back in the paddock. I  will however be happy to inform you as soon as I find out about my whereabouts within Red Bull. Regards, Miss Horner

You set your alarm at the same time Toto’s and Marc’s meeting is supposed to take place and then switch off your mobile and fall asleep. The next morning you wake up just in time to actually take a shower and get ready to go back to the track. You arrive there just in time for FP2. Everyone’s already in the garage so you decide to go there directly. As always, you see Toto sitting at the top of the fantasy island watching over the two garages. “Hello Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, you’re here!” he says

“How did your meeting with Marco Barco go ?” you say and as soon as the words get out of your mouth you see Marc Taylor himself walking next to Toto with his headset on “How did you just call me?” he asks and you freeze, mainly because no one calls him like this except from you, the Horner you, not the Mindy Rosevelt you. “How did I call you?” 

“Did you call me Marco Barco?” he says and Toto looks at the both of you slightly confused

“I called you Marc. Just Marc.” you tell him

“Alright.” “Mindy, this is Marc Taylor, he’s the owner of our newest sponsor. We closed the deal earlier during our meeting.” 

“Mr. Taylor, I am so glad that we will have you around more from now on.”

“So am I, I am glad that I actually decided to go for my instinct and invest something in F1.”

“Absolutely.” 

A short minute after he asks

“Why are you still wearing a mask? Isn’t it bothering you?” 

“Oh no no, it does not. I am actually wearing it because I don’t want to catch any colds and lose my internship days.”

“I see. And where are you from? Mindy right?” By the questions he asks you are already sure that he is suspecting something

“Yes, I am from Boston, US and I ended up here as an intern from Daimler US.” you say and he answers “That’s really cool.” For the rest of the time you don’t interact, Toto isn’t involving in any of your talks and you know it’s because he fears that he’ll fuck this up more if he does. However, he still speaks to you and Marc separately and when he’s talking to Marc he shows off a little more confidence and certainty. It’s like he knows that he’s better than him, which he actually is and you’ve made it clear both that night in Monaco and yesterday after your dinner. The session finishes with the two red bulls on top, followed by the two Mercedes. “P3 and 4 isn’t bad but it’s not P1 and P2 either. I know we’re running similar engine mappings and we still need to be on top.” Toto says in his message to the mechanics.“I am sure we will be there by tomorrow.” you tell him “I should go grab some food because I haven’t eaten yet. I am sure I will see you around Mr. Taylor.” 

“I believe so.” 

“Marc and I are going to talk a little more and he’ll be off in a while. Talk to you later?” Toto says and winks on you while Marc is on his phone “Of course Mr Wolff. See you later.” you tell him and get back at the hospitality center where you get some food which you take to Toto’s office. You unlock the door with the set of keys he has given you and you set your tray at the table beside his office. You lock the door as you stay inside in order to surprise him. After some time you can hear footsteps approaching and the door handle moves but the door doesn’t open“Oh it is locked.” you can hear Toto say and the next thing you can hear is his keys on the lock. He opens the door and just as he enters the office you speak “I thought we should have brunch together.” The man who enters the room stops dead in his tracks. Of fucking course it’s Marc, followed by Toto who is gesturing something to someone in the hallway. Toto stops and looks at you. Marc speaks first “Horner, what are you doing there?” he asks “Shush Taylor, they’re going to hear you.”  

“Why are you sitting in Toto’s office dressed in Merc gear?” 

“Ummm” you say and you pause to think “F1 made us have team principal meetings like this in order to boost our relationship” you tell him, not a good excuse. In fact it’s a terrible excuse. “What kind of bullshit do you think you’re selling to me?” Marc asks. Toto is just behind him shaking his head “There’s no point in trying to lie to him.” 

“Isn’t there?” you ask and at the same time Marc is taking a look at you. “You’re Mindy? I figured something was wrong here.” 

“Look, I need you to shut your mouth about this. No one can know.” 

“Why are you here in the first place?” he asks “Christian shut her out of the team for an unknown period of time and she wanted to have access to the paddock without paying herself.” Toto says. “Why didn’t you ask Franz to take you in his team for a while?”

“Because I didn’t want Christian involved in anything.”

“So you two guys had a fight? And what about Mercedes Toto, how is the team going to be safe with all of this.” 

Toto tries to explain the situation to Marc “She has already signed NDAs about the team, and I wouldn’t even take her in if i didn’t trust her.” You take a deep breath and Toto understands the position you are in so he decides to leave you and Marc alone for a second “Should I go fetch us something to drink?” 

“Yes please.” you tell him

“Why did you end up out of the team in the first place?” 

“I was late to a business meeting. You know how Christian is with them.” 

“And he threw you out. How long has this been going on ?” 

“Not long ago, the GP in Jeddah was my first one with Merc.” you say. Marc stays quiet for a while and his eyes spark with realization a minute or two later. “Oh god, it’s him, isn’t he?” 

“What?” you ask him. “The guy you’re heads over heels with? The situationship man! That’s why he’s the one you turned to for the paddock access and that’s why he gave it to you. You two are dating right?”

“Well yeah, it is him but I told you before, no one can know okay?” 

“Of course. How long have you been together?” 

“We are not together yet, we are just spending time.”

“Yeah right and he took you in his team because he’s just spending time with you.” he tells you and you laugh “I might not know him for a long time but I can tell who I am making deals with. He’s a very direct guy.” 

“I know he is.” 

“If it’s not me, he’s the next best option.” 

“That’s what I’ve been saying since this has been happening.” 

“I am happy for you, really.” 

“Thank you Marc.” you tell him.  Later on Toto comes back with your drinks and the three of you discuss for sometime. Later on and only after you’ve completed your duties for the day you wave Toto and Marc goodbye and go back to your hotel. You sit in your room, have an extra long video call with Sara in which you tell her everything about today and all the days you’ve been missing from Monaco and she texts you a photo from her balcony in Monaco which you post in your official instagram story in order to make everyone believe that you are actually there and not in Azerbaijan. You watch a bunch of drive to survive episodes to prepare for your upcoming interviews and then take a long relaxing shower. Before you even realize it is time for dinner and just as you were thinking of it you get a text 

Wolff

Are you coming over for dinner?

You 

Nah, I am actually thinking that maybe I should get some rest before tomorrow. I will be ordering something here instead

Wolff

Okay. I hope you are alright 

You 

Yes, all good but I would like to be excluded from tomorrow’s practice session. Only if I am not needed that is

Wolff

You are always needed but you are always working hard and think you deserve to have the session off

You

Thank you Toto, I won’t forget that ;)

Wolff 

I hope you won’t 

After your chat with Toto you decide to order some dinner in your room and after that you spend some time on your socials before going to bed. The next day you wake up early as you hear someone knocking at your door. Well, it’s not just someone, in fact, it is Lewis who is at your door and right by his side is his best friend, Roscoe. You were expecting them since Lewis told you he would bring Roscoe over to your suite before hitting the track for FP3 and now you are supposed to take care of him and bring him back to the paddock just before qualifying, when Angela will take over from you. “Good Morning. Were you sleeping?”

“I was yeah but I was planning to wake up either way.”

“This is my good boy Roscoe” he says and he kneels and pats his back “Good boy” he says. “He is adorable.” you tell him and you also kneel to pet him. “He might be a little shy at first, he just wants a lot of cuddling and playing. I am sure he will love you though.” 

“I hope he will, we will have to spend some time together before Miami.” 

“Toto mentioned that you didn’t want to come, did  you decide otherwise?” 

“I did yeah, we are planning to come on Friday so Roscoe will be there by then. When are you flying from New York?” 

“Thursday morning, I have media duties, I am not like you.” he laughs

“Well, I am not going to the Met either so I guess we are even.”

“Yeah right. Am I going to see you at qualifying?” 

“Of course, I plan on coming, I will bring Roscoe to you later.” 

“Good, see you then I guess.” 

“Bye Lewis.” you say as you wave him goodbye.  Roscoe and you enter your suite and you can see him running in his tiny feet trying to take in the space around him. You decide to take a shower but you leave the door open and as soon as you come out of the tub you find Roscoe sitting there waiting for you. For the rest of the time you play with his favorite toy that Lewis left you and he lies on your side as you take a look at the morning news. When the time comes, you get ready and hit the track once again but this time with Roscoe Hamilton on your side. You can see photographers taking pictures of you but you remain completely calm as your face mask and your hair hide your real identity and enter the Mercedes hospitality. You drop Roscoe off to Lewis’ suite where Angela takes over, and text Toto who you can clearly see from the garage that you’re currently sitting in. Toto is just outside making statements to broadcasting channels and companies ahead of qualifying and you are sitting there on the right side of his chair waiting for him to come back as soon as the broadcast of qualifying begins. The session is pretty good for the team, meaning Mercedes and the drivers manage to get P2 and P3. Max is sitting in P1 for tomorrow’s start, a brilliant lap from him you think. “2nd and 3rd are pretty good positions.” Toto says. “The only thing that scares me is Max in P1.” 

“We’ve got him, the setup for the race will be even better, Mick has been running the data from the analysis the engineers made based on your comments on the simulator and we’ve seen impressive lap times. We’ll get this for sure.”

“I never doubted their skills, I am sure they can even make the Williams work.” 

“They are not doing miracles, they are just engineers.” Toto says and you laugh “They had some good guidance, we wouldn’t have found the exact setup if it wasn’t for you.” 

“It’s just Saturday though. We will see tomorrow.” 

“You’re right.” he tells you “About tonight, you don’t have any plans right?” 

“Except for laying in bed as soon as I get back and ordering dinner I don’t plan on doing anything else.” 

“Dinner and movie then?” he asks and you nod  “Hitting the track together ?” you ask and he blinks a couple of times. “How come?” 

“Well, won’t I be sleeping in your suite tonight?” 

“I am surprised that you’re even proposing that.” 

“Well if you don’t want to, I have plenty of space in my suite, I will be sleeping all alone again.” 

“Okay, dinner and sleepover in my suite for tonight.”

“Will you be doing press?” you ask.“Only for an hour or so, after that I need you with me in the post qualifying meeting with the mechanics.” he tells you. “Where?” you ask surprised. “I need someone to write some notes down for me during that meeting so I figured you would want to join.”

“But-” you hesitate and he interrupts you before you can finish up your sentence “I don’t have any issue with you, I fully trust you.”

“I know, you’ve been quite vocal about it.” 

“Well, best believe it. Also, you won’t be there just for note taking, you can partake to the whole meeting with your points or ideas” 

“You cannot be serious.” you tell him. “I am as serious as it gets Horner. Wait for me outside your office in an hour.” Toto says as he waves at you and disappears from your sight. After an hour you find him outside your office. Both of you attend the post-quali meeting where you participate with a lot of questions about the performance of the car. At some point you also hear praise from Bono about the setup that you proposed. Well, he didn’t exactly give credit to you, since for him it’s nowhere near your job to give mechanical input about a car set up but he did say that whoever came up with the insights on the setup was a great help. The car was flying compared to the free practice yesterday. It turns out that you actually helped them and you now, more than ever, feel a part of a team that embraces you even if it isn’t directly said to your face. As soon as the meeting is done you and Toto go back to the hotel, wasting no time in the paddock. You get directly back to Toto’s suite where food is already served. The both of you eat and then you relax for a while on the couch

“I am so exhausted from today.” you tell him 

“Do you want to sleep?” he asks

“How about we watch a movie?” 

“You are going to sleep in the first 5 minutes” 

“I promise you I won’t” you tell him “Not if the movie is good anyways” 

“How about La La Land?” he asks and you look at him and burst into laughter. “You want to watch La La Land? Are you serious?” 

“I just happen to know that you love it.”

“Yeah but do you actually like it?” you ask. Toto clears his voice“Um, I haven’t watched it.” and you answer surprised “You cannot be serious.”

“I am. Whether you believe it or not, I don't watch such movies. Or any movies at all.”

“You are traveling 300 days out of 365 and you don’t watch movies? What do you do on the plane?”

“Read the news, sleep. It’s not that I don’t watch movies, it’s just that it is not on a regular basis.”

“I will make you a cinema fan, I swear. La La Land was game changing for me. That’s what we are going to watch. I don’t care if you don’t like musicals.” you say and you navigate in the TV menu to find the movie stream “Oh and by the way, if you haven’t watched Mamma Mia yet, I will get my ass off this suite and not talk to you until you watch it.”

“I have watched it and I can say that I actually liked it.”

“Aren’t you ashamed to say it Mr. Perfect Image?” you ask him. “Not to you. You clearly watch that kitsch fest that is Eurovision and love musicals so I am not the one to be ashamed here.” he says. “Hey!” you yell at him.“Just press play Horner.” he says and you follow his instructions. During the whole movie you can see he watches with pure interest, even during the songs which he doesn’t know he seems like he’s having fun. You are doing your part to keep him entertained, singing all the songs since this is probably your 50th rewatch. You make all the fun and smart remarks that you’ve seen on socials from other fans of the movie to keep him engaged. When the movie ends, during the epilogue scene and towards the end you can see him tensing, kind of trying to cover his emotions up. As the credits roll you turn to him.  “So? What do we think about one of the most amazing musicals made to this day?” 

“The ending” he says and pauses. “The ending what?” you ask him. “The ending was weird. Like it really made you believe that this could work but it actually was the ‘What could have been’ moment. It was kind of brutal.”

“Well, that was the intention. To show that two people had to let go of each other to achieve their dreams. It’s because they loved each other that they decided to do this. Now that I am thinking of it, it kind of is brutal, but it’s realistic. Life is brutal sometimes.”

“Do you analyze every movie that you see like this?” 

“Well, yeah? That’s the point of watching a movie, it’s not looking at beautiful pictures for three hours straight and then going to sleep.” 

“So you’re really passionate about it then.” 

“I am yeah.”

“It’s kind of nice that you find things that you really like and are so passionate about them” 

“You can also do it, you know. Being that one guy who’s obsessed with managing a team, finance and racing isn’t all you can ever be. You can have hobbies and other interests. I just think you are scared to break that flawless facade, which is funny because I genuinely believe that you are a man that is full of passion and you want to show it to people. You are afraid that if anyone outside of your safety bubble finds that you are human and not a well programmed robot that performs at its peak day in day out, your life will end. I know you try to be open about things that concern you and people around you, like how you’ve been speaking out about your mental health, but showing your real self can be hard for you but you should really try.” you tell him and he sits there just listening “How about we make this a thing? Movie night, once a week. Or more if you have more recommendations.”

“Am I about to turn you into a cinema noob?”

“Shut up.” he says and checks his watch that is resting on the arm of the couch you are currently sitting on. “How about going to sleep? We have to be at the paddock tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah sure.” you say and both of you walk off to the bedroom where you sleep until Toto’s alarm goes off. “Good Morning.” he says, his voice deeper than usual, with that sleep raspiness standing out “Hello.” you tell him and you can feel him shifting next to you“It’s race day” 

“I am aware. I have a really good feeling about today.”

“Hm” he says “Do you sense a win?” he asks and he plants a kiss on your cheek. You could get used to it. “I actually do. I feel like we are going to do well.” and you can almost hear him laughing “Who’s we?” he asks you. “Mercedes?” you tell him and he laughs, content that you actually consider his team yours by now.You lay still on the bed for a few more minutes, sitting in complete silence but you can feel the two of you debating whether or not you should get off the bed. You and Toto are too lazy to do anything but like always he’s the one who takes the initiative and moves. “Come on, get yourself ready. We have to be down at the paddock in 45 minutes.”

“I don’t need 45 minutes.”

“Oh you’re sure about that?” he asks. “Positive. You can time me if you want.” you reply.“Yes?” he asks. “Yea. But I am not going to race myself to get ready without breakfast first.” 

“I thought you were smart enough to figure out that we are always having breakfast at the track.” You don’t reply, you just sit and stare outside the window while Toto is using his phone. With his serious voice he says “Hey Siri, call Jasmine.” and then his phone starts dialing. It’s not after a minute that a female voice answers the phone. “Hello Jasmine, this is Toto, can I have my full breakfast order done and served in 45 minutes in my office?” he asks and waits for a few seconds. “I also want two servings of the same order, that in my office too, same time.” he says and you smile at the chat he’s having with his employee. “Also, it is really important that you find Mr Lord and let him know that I will not be available for the next 2 hours and I don’t want any distraction while I am in my office. Yes. Yes. Thank you Jasmine.” he says and he ends the call. “Now that you know breakfast is waiting, go get ready. Now.” 

“Is this an order?” 

“I am already counting.” he says and you run to get ready.You start running around his suite grabbing all of the things you need for race day as Toto sits on the couch scrolling on his phone while he gives you some glances. 15 minutes later you are ready to go, bag on your shoulder, shoes on. “I’m ready” you say standing and looking at him. “You are quick.” he says, still scrolling. “I am. We could go now, although you are not ready.” 

“It won't take more than 5 minutes.” 

“Really?” you ask “Yes. I just put my clothes on, get my iPad and my computer in my bag and I’m ready to go.”

“Oh I thought you needed time to get your face ready for cameras.”

“Nope, I’m all natural, the one who needs to get her face ready is you.”

“I didn’t do anything on my face except from washing it and applying some sunscreen. I am 100% natural today.”

“I see. Although you cannot convince me that when you were at Red Bull you took less than 35 minutes to get ready.”

“Well yeah I needed like half an hour to get my hair and make up done. I have to get camera ready every day. I was always late and Christian yelled at me so many times. Now no one sees me so it really doesn’t matter if I look like shit.”

“You don’t look like shit, you are great.” he tells you “Aw thanks.” you say and you drop your bag on the floor and sit next to Toto on the couch and give him a peck on his cheek. He turns and looks at you and kisses you right on the lips, instantly deepening the kiss laying you on the couch. You smile in that kiss and keep going, tangling your fingers on his hair, pulling him closer. He puts his hand under your waist and pulls you closer and you can already feel a burning desire. “How about we get back to bed?” he asks. “We have to go Toto” you manage to say between kisses.“I don’t want to leave.” he says. “We can miss the race to be honest.” you tell him. “Yes we can.” he tells you “But we won’t. Plus you’ve already ordered us your breakfast”

“You’re better.” he says and you scoff when you hear his words. “Oh god, behave Wolff” you tell him and you push him away teasingly. You walk away from him and he sits there, resting his head on the back of the couch trying to calm himself. “You got to get ready now” 

“Okay.” he says unwillingly and stands up and starts getting ready. Half an hour later you take the walk from the hotel to the paddock which has already begun getting flooded with people. Both you and Toto take your breakfast at his office and then you follow him around in his pre race routine, from fan zones to debriefs, to interviews and finally to the grid. You spot Christian and Max many times during your time there but Toto doesn’t say anything more than a Hello to both of them. You watch Max get ready to hop in the car in front of both Lewis and George and can’t help but feel a bit of anger that he is sitting on pole. You know Mercedes’ car is fast, it’s more deserving to be in P1 than Max. You know you have to work hard to bring them in P1 and P2, because the Red Bull is not slow either, you know the car from inside out, and you know it’s capable of winning. It’s only a race’s time. When it is time you manage to greet Lewis in a flurry of cameras, fans and engineers at the grid and head back to the Mercedes garage. As you head towards the entrance of the garage you hear your (fake) name being called and you turn to see Cynthia outside the Red Bull garage as she shouts good luck to you and you yell back at her, wishing her good luck. You take your place at the fantasy island and watch the race start. Max launches off perfectly, at the right time and Lewis and George get a little left behind. As the race goes on, Max is still in front of the two Mercedes drivers, who are actually closely following him. You keep watching fully focused on the telemetry screens in front of you, and listening to the talks between team members about pace and strategy. Not long after the race start, you see both cars overtaking the Red Bull and launching off into the distance. The cars are quite quick but Max keeps following them, in DRS range. The rest of the field stays back as the two black and the one blue car fight to get the first place. As soon as it is time for strategy calls you can hear the team agreeing on a double stack for the pit stops, and so it happens, but as it is normal, double stacks can’t always be flawless. George’s stop is perfectly timed and great in duration so that the undercut will be strong enough but on the other hand, Lewis who has been really unlucky with some shitty stops has it again. The front right tire doesn’t come off as quick and the stop lasts a whooping 5.6 seconds, which makes Lewis lose a track position to Max and a whole 2 seconds to him as well. Toto gets so frustrated with the stop that he smashes the desk like he always does and the race continues. Toto is all the time on the radio with the strategists and the mechanics and as a result he has no time to talk to you. Lewis is chasing Max but failing. Max is much quicker than he is and when he does reach him he is not able to make a move on him. The race finishes with George in 1st place, Max in 2nd and Lewis in 3rd.  As always Toto reaches and presses the button to congratulate George and you can see the message being broadcasted on TV. George happily replies and celebrates, thanking Toto and the team. And then Toto moves on to congratulate Lewis. Lewis is much less excited than George was. He just thanks Toto and the team and switches his radio off. You realize from the first minute of the broadcast that Lewis is kinda pissed off and disappointed.

“We won” Toto turns and tells you with a smile on his face.  “Lewis is disappointed I’m sure. But yeah at least George won.” you tell him. “I know Lewis will be disappointed. We let him down today, he’s not going to be glad. He did everything he could but still the car just couldn’t work to get past Max.”. “I am really hoping he will be alright.” 

“It’s Lewis, he’s always bigger than this. A title got stolen from him and he kept on going. I am sure he’s going to come out of this car, go to press and celebrate with us even though he might feel bitter about the third position.”

“Yeah, you probably know him better than I do.” you say and then Toto leaves you in the garage while he’s walking around the paddock talking to journalists, Sky Sports, F1 TV. Later on there’s indeed a celebration with the team for George’s win and Lewis’ podium and everyone gathers there. There’s the usual team picture and then the champagne celebrations which everyone tries to avoid but gets caught up to. After the whole thing winds down you find Lewis sitting outside the garage and you sit with him “Congrats for today!” you tell him trying to cheer him up “Uhh, I don’t know man, this isn’t my best result, but thanks either way.”

“Come on Lewis, you know you did the best you could, and it’s okay, I was in the garage next to Toto and right after that mistake he kept on trying and asking on how you could get past Max and even George but I guess the stars didn’t align for you today but for George.”

“I guess you’re right. I feel like I am overreacting but you know I have to keep my head up, nothing comes out of complaining.” Lewis says. “You just somehow became your own therapist and you overcame the whole thing in like 5 minutes. I hate you.” you tell him laughing. “I’ll teach you how to do it, it seems like you will need it when you leave us.” he says reminding you of your situation in Red Bull. “Definitely” you tell him and you sit there in silence for a while until Toto comes by you. “We’ve got to get going, we only got one and a half  hour before the jet leaves”.

“You’re leaving now?” Lewis asks and Toto nods but some mechanic comes to talk to him 

“Will Roscoe be joining us?” you ask. “About that, I will be flying with Valtteri and will drop him to Nice before flying to NYC. I was thinking about spending a little more time with Roscoe before dropping him off to you. Is it okay if Valtteri drops him by your place later on?” 

“Oh no problem, give him my number so that he can text me once you are in Nice.” 

“Great!”

“Lewis I really gotta get going, I have to pack my things back at the hotel before leaving.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in Miami. Take good care of Roscoe.”

“I will” you tell him and you wave him goodbye. After that you leave the track alone since Toto is still busy at the track. You go back to your suite and pack your things and with 45 minutes still left you take your phone and ring Toto. “Are you in your room?” you ask. “No, still at the track.” he says and you reply slightly surprised “Wait, what are you still doing on track?”

“I am having a discussion with Stefano about technical directives and he can’t stop talking.”

“Are you sure you’re going to make it? Are your stuff packed?” 

“No they are not, I thought I would have enough time to do it now but he thinks we are having a meeting.”

“Why don’t you tell him that you have to catch your flight?”

“Because he will propose that we fly together” he answers “I keep checking my watch but he doesn’t get the message”

“Oh then try to get out of this discussion asap.” 

“Will do. See you in a while” he says and he hangs up. You check your bag and you find Toto’s suite card so you decide to go to his suite and pack his suitcase. You take everything off the closet and start folding them and placing them in his carry on, take his shoes as well as his stuff from the bathroom and place them in the suitcase. Lastly you take all of the chargers and laptops and stuff them into his bag. You take a seat on his couch now both of your suitcases fully packed and ready to go but he’s nowhere to be found. 20 minutes before the time that you have to be in the airport your phone rings and his name pops up on the screen. You accept the call. “Hey” you say. You “We are not going to make it on time. I only just got to the hotel.” he says and you hear footsteps outside his door. “And? We still have 20 minutes.” 

“Everything is unpacked. We are going to be late.”  he replies and the door opens. He sees you sitting on the couch and ends the call. He walks in the hallway with a confused expression“What are you doing here?” he says and you point at the suitcase and bag left in the middle of the living room area. “I packed.” you tell him and you smile. At this very moment you see a very anxious but happy Toto walking towards you and placing a kiss on your head. “Thank you” he says. “I had time to kill, a spare key card and I figured you might be late so I thought why not. I hope that I packed them in the right way. Oh and make sure that I got everything.”

“It’s perfect, thanks.” he says and he takes a look around the suite, looking for things he might have forgotten. Five minutes later you are ready to go, you leave the hotel, you drive to the airport and get there 10 minutes late but still the jet is ready to go. You board, take the seat opposite to Toto and get as comfortable as you can, he takes a book out of his bag and places it on the table in front of you. You take off from Baku and you start feeling slightly worn out. “Sleepy?” he asks. “Is that so obvious?”

“Yes.” 

“It’s just that races wear me out so much. In Red Bull it was easier but now I literally spent twice as much energy because of the whole hiding thing.”

“I get what you mean, I can’t get through it without a cup or two of coffee” 

“It is funny because the race is during the afternoon but it still drains me” 

“You should sleep.” he tells you. “I won’t.” you tell him and he hums “So, tell me about the technical directives you were discussing with Stefano.” Toto starts explaining what he and Domenicalli were discussing along with some other team principals and you try really hard to follow what he was telling you. You were asking him questions but you felt your eyes burning “I will just close my eyes because they hurt but I will keep listening.” you tell him. “Sure” he says and he laughs. “Hey, I won’t sleep.” and he teases you “I bet you won’t.”. You close your eyes and you follow Toto’s voice, keep asking him questions and discussing until you are less and less conscious and fall completely asleep. Almost 4 hours after, you wake up, feeling the plane descending into lower altitudes. You feel surprisingly warm and open your eyes only to see Toto’s jacket all over you. You slept through the whole flight. You move slightly and Toto, who is sitting just opposite to you reading his book lifts his eyes from the book to you.“Glad to see you didn’t sleep.” he tells you  “Hey, don’t make fun of me!” 

“I love it when you know you are not right and still try to convince others that you are.” You roll your eyes at his comment and take a look outside the window. “Where are we?” 

“Almost in Nice, we will be landing in 20” 

“Cool. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed.” 

“You’re not coming over?” 

“No, I’ve had enough of you during the past days.”

“Right.” 

“How’s your book?” you ask. “It is good.” Toto says 

“I’ll read it after you.”

“I’ll be happy to lend it to you.” 

“Oh and if I like it I will need access to that Wolff Reading List.” 

“I don’t have a reading list.”

“Oh god what?”

“It is not a competition Horner, I read for my pleasure.” 

“So do I but I have a reading list. I read reviews and I sometimes write them anonymously.”  

“Well, I don’t give a shit about reviews, I read the synopsis and if I find it interesting I read it. I am sure some of my favorite books have the shittiest reviews but I don’t care.” he says. “Wow, you are stronger than I am. If a review isn’t good I won’t even start the book.”

“That’s some of the shit people of your generation do”

“Oh yes I keep forgetting that you are a boomer.” you joke “We are not going to discuss this again.” he says in a strict tone “Okay sir.” you mock him. “Fuck off, go back to sleep.” he says and he turns back to his book. “Thanks for the blanket by the way.” you say but he gives you no answer and you laugh. “Are you going to drive me back to Monaco?” you ask. “No you should call Marc” he says. “I hate you Wolff.” you tell him. “I hate you too.” he laughs. A short time after you land in Nice and contrary to what he said earlier, Toto orders for all of your baggage to be loaded to his car. You take the drive back to Monaco while discussing  paddock gossip which Toto repeats isn’t a thing he does but he happily participates in the whole discourse. Half an hour later you arrive at home, Toto parks the car in the garage and you get your bags out of the car and take the lift to your apartment. You hug him goodbye and go to your apartment where you instantly unpack and get comfortable and sit in your bedroom where you binge watch gossip girl until it is late enough and Valtteri is calling you to drop Roscoe off. You text him your details and 5 minutes later he’s knocking your door.  “Hi Valtteri.” you greet him. “Hi” he says shyly, holding Roscoe’s leash on his one hand and a bag with Roscoe’s food and toys

“Lewis told me to drop those off. Including Roscoe.” 

“I will be taking care of him while Lewis is in New York For the Met Gala.”

“Oh yeah, I would take care of him but Tif and I have to go to a bike competition in France”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of him instead. Good to see you, did you have a nice flight?”

“Yes, it was pretty decent, you know how it is when traveling in private.”

“Yeah definitely.” you tell him. “We missed you in F1, when are you coming back?” he says and for a moment you freeze before you register that you supposingly weren’t in Baku this weekend. “I missed you guys too. I don’t know when I am coming back yet, I am still adapting to my new life here in Monaco.”

“You are right, we will be happy to see you back.” 

“Thank you for dropping Roscoe off for me”

“You’re welcome.” 

“Good luck for your competition.”

“Thanks, goodnight!” Valtteri says and leaves you with Roscoe.

Roscoe gets in and moves around the apartment trying to get used to it. You play a bit with him but at some point you are too tired and get to bed where Roscoe joins you and curls next to your feet and falls asleep. You do the same for the night. The next day you wake up in your new home, register the fact that now you have to take care of Roscoe. You take him out for his morning walk and you go back home where you decide to text Sara once again. 

You

I am back in Monaco. Are you up for some coffee?

Sara

Oh welcome back! Of course I am up for coffee. Your place or mine?

You 

Cafe de Paris in an hour?

Sara

Omg sounds perfect. Gotta go get ready.

You 

I will be bringing Roscoe over too

Sara

God I love this dog. Of course bring him over, the dog is a socialite

You shut your phone and start getting ready, dressing up appropriately for the Cafe de Paris. You feed Roscoe and get him ready and after an hour you are sitting in Cafe de Paris with Sara. You both enjoy your drinks while the bulldog is sitting by your side and you keep gossiping about people you know. Sara spills her work gossip and you keep discussing different bullshit. Time goes by and both of you get hungry so you propose cooking dinner at your place. You and Sara get back home and you start cooking a risotto while she drinks wine and you tell her all the paddock gossip. “So turns out Christian hired that bitch who was hooking up with Toto.”

“He did what?” 

“Yeah, he hired her during my first week off the team.”

“Oh my gosh. I might sound a bit harsh but don’t you think that your dad is a bit problematic?” Sara asks “I’ve been thinking that since I officially joined the team, S. I just don’t understand his logic” you say and you hear your phone ringing. When you check you see Christian’s face popping up.“Speak of the devil”.

“Hey dad” you say 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m good you?”

“No, I mean, what are you doing outside with Hamilton’s dog?”

“Oh Roscoe? Lewis is flying to the Met Gala and he wants someone to take care of his dog.”

“And you suddenly became best friends with Hamilton that he trusts you with his dog? You have the audacity to walk him in Monaco’s most crowded places? There are pictures all over the internet.”

“I think you are overreacting.” you tell him 

“How did the dog end up in your hands? Were you in Baku yesterday?” 

“What the fuck dad? I was in Monaco, I had Valtteri drop him off.”

“Are you teaming up with them? Do you think it’s going to make me change my mind and take you back?” 

“Look, I have a risotto cooking up on my stove and I do not plan on burning this place down, so let me get it straight for you. I am just taking care of a dog that for some reason triggers you in a way that nothing ever has. I am doing a favor to a friend. Nothing to piss you off. I don’t know why you think everyone is constantly plotting against you but the reality is that we are not. Take a chill pill and get used to seeing pictures of me with Roscoe until Lewis takes him back. And for fuck’s shake, let me live my life.” you say and you turn off the call. “What was that about?” Sara asks. “There are pictures of us and Roscoe from today and Christian was pissed because of a freaking dog.” 

“Oh then you were right to speak to him like that” 

“Thanks” you say. As soon as the food is ready you and Sara enjoy your lunch at your balcony with a sea view and after a couple of hours she leaves you alone. You clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and get changed to a tracksuit and a pair of sneakers for Roscoe’s night walk. You enjoy a walk along the coast of Monte Carlo and later on you come back to your building. To your surprise you see Toto just outside, dressed in a suit while waiting for his car. “Hi” you tell him. “Hello. Out for a walk I see?” he asks. “Yes, Roscoe needed his night walk.” you say as Roscoe approaches him. Toto instantly takes two steps backwards looking at the bulldog “Where are you off to?” you ask. “I’m going to a business meeting.” you are interested about his day “With a sponsor ?” and he replies giving you all the information you ask for “No, it’s for one of my finance jobs.” 

“I see.” you say and you spot someone with a phone pointing to you two “We are being videotaped”

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you in the paddock miss Horner” he says “Oh yeah, I’ve been having some time off that’s why.”

“I’ve heard the rumors, met your substitute as well. When do you think you’re coming back ?” 

“I haven’t decided yet, I am still recharging to be honest.” 

“Good thing to do. Take your time” 

“Thank you Mr. Wolff, take care.” you tell him and leave him to go back to your apartment. You take Roscoe off his leash and he slowly walks to his bed where he falls asleep. You lay on your couch and check your socials. It’s the first Monday of May and your timelines have already been flooded with Met Gala content, from the setting of the red carpet to some of the celebrities and acquaintances getting ready for the event. You promised Lewis that you will stay awake to see him on the red carpet and for this reason you decide to take a nap. It’s not that late but since you have to wait for Lewis until later that night you chose to kill some time this way so you drift off to a sweet nap. In the middle of your sleep you hear the doorbell ringing and you walk half asleep to the door where you check through the peephole to see who it is and you see the one tall austrian outside your door dressed with the same clothes as earlier. You open the door and you let him in.“What are you doing here?” you tell him, voice sounding a bit hoarse so Toto gets the hint. “Have you been sleeping? Did I wake you up?” he asks a little worried, “Ummm, you kinda did” you tell him, “Oh sorry, I should go then, let you rest.” 

“I was going to wake up anyway.  I promised Lewis I will watch him on the red carpet today.” you tell him and he asks “What is it today?”. You laugh with his ignorance “Oh god we are never going to get an invite if you keep asking those questions.”

“Why do we need an invitation for this?”

“It’s one of the most exciting nights of the year Toto, the Met Gala, every relatable celebrity dresses up in custom designer pieces that match to a theme and they have a dinner or something.” 

“Prom for rich people?” 

“Kinda. I am surprised you aren’t aware of it, since Lewis has been going during the past 3-4 years if I’m not mistaken.”

“Pop culture isn’t my thing.” he says while he takes off his jacket and hangs it on a chair nearby. “I can see it” you reply. Toto joins you on the couch, he sits on the side, takes off his shoes and unbuttons the top button of his shirt. You grab your computer and sit close to him. You open the TV and you play the Vogue Livestream of the event while Toto sits bored next to you switching his gaze from the television to the ceiling, to your laptop, to you and then back to the television. As you are watching the event, Toto stands up and takes a look at your bookshelf and he picks a book which he starts reading while you are too busy waiting for Lewis. Toto speed reads the book as you text Lewis asking him to let you know when he will be joining the red carpet. At some point you distinctively hear Roscoe’s paws on the floor as he runs to the living room. He sits just below your feet which you have laid on the coffee table while Toto is laying on the long side of the couch. Roscoe takes a look at you and then at Toto, both of you too far absorbed to be paying attention to him and for this reason the poor dog decides to make you pay attention to him.  Roscoe starts barking and in a fraction of a second, Toto slams his book close and starts backing up and climbing on the back of the couch. When you notice him you burst out laughing. You should have been aware that Toto is afraid of Roscoe, that’s why he was skeptical about having the dog in the same place as him during a transatlantic flight. It seems so hilarious to you that a grown ass man such as Toto is afraid of an old bulldog, mainly because Toto is who he is. The intimidating boss, the scary rival. You immediately grab your phone and start recording. “Lewis, I know you’re in line for the red carpet and you probably won’t see this until tomorrow but you have to see this.” you say as you record yourself and then turn the rear camera on. “I don’t know if you are aware of it but it seems like Mr. Wolff here is afraid of your dog.” you say as you see Toto on the back of the couch and Roscoe staring at him. “Hey! It’s not funny, please get him to leave!” he says and just as he completes his sentence Roscoe continues barking at him, Toto’s expression is essentially pure panic at this point but you continue laughing. You know Roscoe just wants to play with him but he is not very much aware of it. “Please just stop recording and get him out of here” he says again, you are still recording. “He’s not going to hurt you” you tell him, “You don’t know it” Toto replies. “Okay Lew, I have to take care of this, we are still waiting for you here” you say and you show the Vogue Livestream on your TV “Have fun!”  you say and you stop recording, sending the video to Lewis. After that you leave your phone down, you grab Roscoe and bring him by your side, far from Toto, who seems like he lost 5 years of his life. The dog lays on the couch as you rub his belly and he seems happy. “See, that’s what he wanted. Just a bit of attention and love.” you tell him “Well, if he wanted that he shouldn't have barked at me. I was scared to death” 

“Toto Wolff is afraid of dogs.” you say “I am. You cannot imagine how many times I’ve managed to avoid any interaction with this dog during the past 8 years.”

“I was just wondering how Lewis didn’t have any idea of this.”

“Oh, did you send the video? Did I make a fool of myself on Lewis as well?”

“No, that’s not making a fool of yourself, that’s adorable” 

“Until Lewis posts it on his socials” 

“He won’t” you say 

“You don’t know Lewis, he loves making fun of me every chance he gets”

“I mean sometimes you’re hilarious so he’s right, you shouldn’t be angry.” you tell him 

“Most of the time I’m not actually angry, I am just acting like I am to make him feel bad” 

“You are crazy” you tell him and you turn to catch a glimpse of the screen when you see Lewis coming up the red carpet. “Oh there he goes!” you say and Toto turns his attention to the screen and so does Roscoe once he realizes that his dad is on the tv. “That’s a daring outfit.” Toto comments as he watches Lewis posing on the red carpet. “Oh you suddenly have an opinion on fashion?” 

“Why shouldn’t I? You think you’re the only one with a fashion sense?”

“Darling, at least I have more than 3 outfits in my wardrobe” you tell him and he rolls his eyes. He knows you’re right but he still focuses on the television. You see Roscoe staring at the screen and you snap a photo which you post on your instagram stories right after lewis leaves the red carpet. “Did we just sit here to watch Lewis pose on the red carpet for 3 minutes?” 

“No, I am hoping he will be back for an interview shortly after.” you say and he nods, going back to the last page of the book he was reading and 5 minutes later Lewis comes on the screen again and both of you watch the interview ss

“You’re an expert on this aren’t you?” he asks “I have been watching for the past 10 years, Toto. Plus, they do love Lewis a lot, it was almost certain that they would give him the interview.”

“They do seem to have a preference for Lewis though.” he says 

“The truth is, as much as Max is supposedly my friend, he’s not that relevant out of our little world.” 

“How can you do that?” 

“Do what?” 

“Hang out with him”

“Look, he isn’t as much of a dick as he seems, he’s actually a pretty decent company and he’s a kind soul but only if you are close to him and that’s why he comes off as an asshole to everyone else.” you say and you yawn. “Sleepy?” he asks

“Yeah, I am starting to get tired. Are you going to stay?” 

“I would but Roscoe will be here.”

“He can sleep in the guest room, please stay?”

“I will, although I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I’ll just wake up early.”

“Okay” you tell him and you stand up taking Roscoe in your arms “Wanna pet him?” you ask. “Only because you’re holding him” he says as he pets Roscoe who’s now sleepy. You leave your living room and head towards the guest room where you leave the dog, closing the door behind you. By the time you are out the door you see that the living room is already empty and you head to your room where Toto is already laying in your bed. You change into your pajamas and climb in your bed where you fall asleep. The next day you wake up and as Toto said, he has already left for his meeting. You check your phone and you see several texts, the first one from Toto reads a simple Text me when you wake up. The second one is from Marc, saying Parties ahead of the Cannes film festival are just starting, thought it would be nice for us to be seen together, to silence people about our whereabouts. Only as friends though. Accommodation in my yacht. Tristan will be here, bring Sara as well. RSVP. You give it a thought, thinking about how Christian made a scene about Roscoe, and how he asked you where you were. You text Toto first, to make sure it won’t be a problem. 

Woke up just fine although i would have liked you to be here and not in that stupid meeting of yours. Also, Marc just sent me an invitation about a party tomorrow and I think maybe I should go, do some pr job, give people something to talk about

Toto 

You should go just don’t get too wild

You 

I won’t,besides Sara will be probably coming as well.But the thing is it will be in Cannes, but I’ll make sure to be back to Nice on time for the flight

Toto 

No problem

You leave your phone on dnd and continue your tasks for the day, doing some light cleaning on your apartment when the doorbell rings. You open the door and you find a donut and a cup left on your doormat, the cup has a note on "Sorry for not being here for breakfast, consider this as my not so homemade breakfast." You smile and shut the door, immediately texting Sara, inviting her over for coffee and gossip. Once she comes over you share the news on the party for which she agrees immediately and she proposes a shopping spree for the party. You agree with her and shortly after you are off to the shops where you try on different outfits, occasionally texting Toto for his opinion on some of the outfits. At the end of the day, Sara ends up with 4 or 5 bags from the shops and you buy one simple black  dress  from Sandro to wear for the event. You grab a drink at the Blue Gin and you head back home where you pack your bags both for the party at Cannes and for the trip to Miami. Before you get back to bed you receive a text from Marc.

Marc Taylor

I will be waiting for you tomorrow morning for our trip to Cannes

You 

Where will we find you?

Marc Taylor

At the marina, we will be using my yacht obviously

You 

We will be there @ 10:30. Should we bring coffee?

Marc Taylor

We have a barista on board. Just get your bags. 

The next day you wake up, dressing up with a maxi sundress suitable for the yacht trip. You later meet Sara and her driver drops you off at the Monaco marina, right outside Marc’s yacht. You get on board as members of Marc’s staff get your bags on the yacht and into your rooms. You follow Marc straight ahead and join him and Tristan on the deck. You can see people with cameras taking pictures of you from the marina and you play along. You do want paparazzi to see where you are and who you are with, you are confident that they will be running the story before the party today. You greet Tristan and walk the deck, taking the sun in and gazing into the mediterranean. Sara snaps some pictures of you and then the yacht leaves Monaco and sails to Cannes.  “What time does the party start?” you ask,"At 8 I believe.” Tristan replies, “We have to start getting ready as soon as we arrive there” Sara tells you 

“We will arrive in Cannes in an hour, you will be needing 6 hours to get ready?” 

“Haven’t you met Horner? She takes at least two hours to get ready for a day at the paddock, you think she will be getting ready in sooner than 5 hours for a party in Cannes?” Sara answers and you laugh. As you sail to Cannes, the four of you sit on the deck sipping champagne and gossiping about old acquaintances of yours until one hour later you arrive and you dock at the marina. Tristan and Marc go out for a walk and you and Sara stay on board to relax and get settled to your rooms. You leave Sara in her cabin and you relax outside on the deck. You snap a photo and post it on your stories and then start reading your book until you start getting ready, while listening to music. Tristan and Marc come an hour later and Tristan waves at you. You take your headphones off. “There’s someone that has a package for you outside”

“What package?”

“It’s an order from a fashion brand I think. They said you made the order from Monaco and sent it here”

“Oh yeah that” you say “Marc can you please get this for me?”

“Of course” Marc replies and leaves you behind with Tristan. “What are you reading?” he asks, “The Goldfinch” you tell him.

“Oh I heard it’s nice.” 

“It is really good, I’ll give it to you when I finish it”

“Great! Um, by the way, have you seen Sara?” 

“She’s in her cabin, probably planning today’s look. She doesn’t wake up looking as good as you see her.”

“Bet she looks even better when she wakes up” Tristan says and you burst out laughing.“You really like her don’t you?” you ask 

“I do. Not as much as Marc likes you though.” 

“Tristan, Marc and I have already discussed this.”

“You know he’s still trying though” he tells you but he stops talking as he sees Marc coming up to the yacht. “This is your package Miss.” says Marc and kneels in front of you showing you the box.“Thank you mr. Taylor” you tell him “I gotta go try it on and plan my look for today, see ya later losers.”. You walk away from Marc and Tristan and into your cabin where you untie the black bow on top of the box and open it to reveal a green silk dress and in the box, a black handwritten card, a handwriting you recognize."Yesterday night I was watching Succession, saw this dress on Shiv and thought it would look nice on you. Bis Bald.". You smile in disbelief and try the dress on and you manage to fish out your emerald Manolo shoes which perfectly fit the color of the dress. You decide to wear this to the party instead of your new bought Sandro dress and you undress since lunch is about to be served. After your meal you return to your room, and start getting ready. You take a shower, use a face mask and then fix your hair in a low bun chignon. You apply some light makeup and some jewelry for the party. When you get out of your cabin you see Marc and Tristan in their party suits. “Wow Horner” says Tristan but Marc just sits there staring at you. “We should try to snap some pictures until Sara is ready” he says again and pushes both you and Marc at the front of the yacht where he takes pictures of you both with your phone and your polaroid camera but his phone rings so Marc becomes your photographer for the moment. “You look stunning, the color is amazing.”

“Thanks” you say and you keep posing. 

When the whole photoshoot is done you check your pictures and decide to post one of them on your story but first you want to check that everything is okay from Toto’s side 

You 

[Sent 2 photos]

Your wish is my command. The dress is perfect. Tristan and Marc were stunned

Wolff

I knew as soon as I saw it that it would be a perfect fit. Glad they liked it. Hope Marc keeps his hands to himself though

You 

He will! About that, is it okay if I post the picture of me and him ? 

Wolff

Everyone is going to talk about you two being a couple so why not feed the story to them? It’s okay by me after all ,at the end of the day only I know that you will be sleeping in my bed for the weekend 

20 minutes later Tristan is already yelling at Sara to hurry up and when she does show up at the deck she sees you and stares at you. “Horner!????? What are you wearing?” she asks “You look stunning but bestie this wasn’t the plan was it?” You approach her and you whisper to her ear “It was a surprise gift I couldn’t say no to”. She scoffs. “And he won’t even bring me flowers” she says as she points at Tristan. A couple of photos later the four of you are off to the party. At the party there are a lot more photos, dancing, drinking, mingling and socializing. Everyone is enjoying the wonderful night including Sara, Marc and Tristan. You get lost in a discussion with some movie producer who happens to be at the party and at some point you see Marc approaching you along with a blonde woman, which you happen to know. “Horner!” Marc says as you greet the producer “Marc, I lost you an hour ago, where were you?” 

“With this badass. I am not sure you’ve two met but, this is Francesca Scorcese” 

“Taylor, I’ve met Horner before. You always forget nepo babies always know each other” 

“Absolutely” you say “What have you been up to since I last saw you?” you ask. The three of you start discussing and later on partying. Late at night the party starts drifting off and your quartet returns happily to the yacht. You gather all the pictures from today, making sure there’s enough you and Marc on them so that people will start believing that you are in a relationship. You post them on your instagram captioning them as “What were your favorite nepo babies up to ?”  and you shut your phone before falling asleep. The next morning you wake up and make sure everything is packed. Sara’s sister who happens to have a job in Nice and was taking care of Roscoe in the meantime comes and picks you up from Cannes and drives you to the airport where you finally meet Toto. “Morning!” you tell him and give him a little hug. You are already in incognito mode so you’re making sure no one is watching you. “Hello. How was your party night?” 

“We had a lot of fun actually. You know how our events are? Not even close to that”

“At least on those events we get to be at the same place.” 

“But as long as I can remember the only thing we’ve managed to do was fight” you tell him “Thanks for the dress again. Everyone was impressed” 

“That is for you telling me that I don’t have any fashion sense.” he teases you “Mr Wolff, it is time to board.” the lady at the gate says. You take your stuff, carrying Roscoe in his cage as well and you board the jet. You get comfortable and get Roscoe out of his cage but you hold him on your lap, making sure that he won’t get close to Toto. The plane takes off and you drift off to sleep as the lack of sleep from your party night becomes apparent. After 3 hours you open your eyes and look out the window as you are flying mid Atlantic. It takes a minute before you realize that Roscoe isn’t on your lap anymore and you take a glance around you and you see the bulldog sleeping on Toto’s lap. You laugh at the sight, thinking how some days before Toto was afraid to death and how now he peacefully sleeps with him. You snap two or three photos and send one of them to Lewis. 

You 

[Photo]

Character growth! We are on our way to Miami. See you there 

Lewis Hamilton 

That is insane. Ah man, can’t wait to tease Toto for all of this. Thanks for the content, Horner. See you at the track!

Shortly after you drift back to sleep and you only wake up when you feel the ground below you shaking. You open your eyes and look out of the window again to see the airport of Miami. You don’t register that you have finally arrived until you hear “Miss Horner, Mister Wolff, Welcome to Miami”. Toto looks around and tells you “Let’s see what this race week brings us” and you nod, mentally preparing yourself for another week at the F1 circus. 

#f1 #toto wolff #formula 1 #all's fair fic #toto wolff x reader

[fiveredlights]

I saw you mentioned you liked kid fic and had bookmarks— do you have any reccs for maxiel kid fics?❤️❤️

do i ever!!!! one thing about me is that i will eat kid fics up, like i think i’ve read about all the tagged kid fics in the maxiel tag. i love seeing what names authors choose for their children and it just makes me happy. here's a couple and if you want more lmk!

listen to the slow parts by @nobrakesdown [T-7.2k]

Neither Max or Daniel are the one to find the baby. That honor belongs to Christian, and Christian alone.

a lil you, a lil me, a perfect being by 3_33 (@maxcuntstappen) [G-4.8k]

The three of them stand outside, looking at the entrance, August in the middle, clutching tightly onto Max and Daniel’s hands.

“Okay, I need you both to repeat after me.”

“Daniel, we already did this in the car. Can we please just go in?” Max asks, desperately, which only confirms to Daniel the need to remind all of them of the ground rules.

“Baby, please. We need to remember, okay? We are here to meet some new friends and play with them. It is okay if we don’t meet anybody we like. We can always come again. There is no need for us to be upset. Yeah?”

“Yes, Daddy,” August says and drops his hand to give Daniel a mock salute and Daniel really didn’t know he could love someone so much.

“Max,” Daniel implores, knowing that it is as important that his husband acknowledges the plan as much as their kid.

“Yes, yes, Daniel, okay,” Max rolls his eyes but nods in agreement.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Daniel says. The three of them walk in through the doors.

Or: Daniel and Max visit an animal shelter for their son, August's fourth birthday. Daniel is apprehensive. Max and August are vibrating out of their skin.

That's Where I Am by @flawlessassholes [E-47.8k-6/8]

“Her name is Emily,” Daniel says softly. Max’s eyes snap down to the baby, still sleeping on Daniel’s chest. It’s—she’s snoring a little. In that snuffly way that babies snore. “Short for Emilian.” His eyes snap back to Daniel’s face, so serious, and Max knows it’s a joke, of course, but he still opens his mouth to say— Then Daniel’s face breaks into that wide grin, the real one, the one Max hasn’t seen since. Well. In a while. It feels at once so familiar, and also like seeing something rise from the dead.

There’s a month between Melbourne and Baku. A month to convince Daniel to return to racing. A month to learn and relearn how to love. A month for everything to feel right amidst a season that has felt nothing but wrong. A month to create a family, and a month to maybe lose it all.

keep me in the open by Aurelia (Lily_Rizzy) (@lilyrizzy) [E-11.7k]

"Chrissy Baker sounds like a cunt,” Daniel says, then cringes at the pointed look his mum shoots him. “What? It’s not like they’re old enough to repeat that yet.”

Grace laughs, the sound audible now over Livia’s cries, which are quickly fading into miserable whimpers. Of course, she behaves for grandma, and not the dad who dotes on her endlessly, feeds her, cuddles her, and wipes her smelly ass.

“Three words, Daniel,” she says, eyebrows raised. “Cash, money, bitches.”

or, Daniel navigates bed times, bath times and jealousy, while Max races his last season in Formula One

summer sun after the rain by gentleau [T-11.7k]

“Papà? Is Max your friend?” “He used to be.”

then you came by beforemidnight [G-4.5k]

Daniel looks at Max swiftly but pointedly. Smiling, he looks back at the camera. “Marrying him was the easiest decision of my life.”

(don't let) the days go by citydreaming (@thewindowatkirkland) [M-11.3k]

“Hey” Daniel says “thanks for coming over.”

“Is now a good time? If you are busy I can come back later.”

“Now is fine, she’s already asleep so we should be able to talk without being interrupted.”

“Talk about how you have a daughter.”

Daniel bites his lip nervously “yeah, about that.”

OR: single dad daniel returns to the grid for one final year with red bull, max doesn’t plan on falling in love with him and his daughter, but somehow it happens anyway.

#i have also gone through all 187 pages of the maxiel tag alphabetically by author but we don’t need to talk about that #me my ao3 bookmarks and google sheets against the world #f1 fic rec #maxiel

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - A House Is Not A Home Part 6/8

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

18+

Ruben's wife dies during childbirth along with their son. Ruben hasn't been in a relationship since. Y/N is a single mother to a four year old boy. She buys a house in the small town that Ruben lives in. The house needs alot of fixing which Ruben helps with, resulting in him slowly falling in love with Y/N. However, falling in love with Y/N makes Ruben feel like he is betraying his dead wife.

Enjoy!

"Where are you going?" Ruben groaned, his voice raspy as he came to. You both lay in bed well past the suitable hours. By the way the sun was set high in the sky you guessed that it was around midday afternoon.

"We have to get up and pick up Johnny from kindergarten."

"Five more minutes."

Ruben held an arm around your waist, tugging your body to lay down with him again. He rolled on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck.

"We don't have much time." You sighed, feeling him and how much his body wanted you.

"We have enough time."

Warm hands roamed your body. Ruben had already left bruises on your skin from last night and this morning, this was just him re-marking his territory. He traced soft kisses down your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. His big hand cupped your breast, squeezing the flesh as you sighed against his naked chest.

"You like this?"

"Mhm."

Ruben moved on to let his erection slap against your folds, lubricating them. You squinted your eyes as his dick continue to grind against your clit, making it twitch beneath you.

"Ruben...the time."

"We have enough of it ."

He turned you over with a slap across your ass. You winced and arched your back into the front of him, meeting his stiffness.

"Relax for me baby. Just relax."

The matress dipped as Ruben rose to his knees. You looked back to see his lean body align with yours. Ruben smiled before easing into you with a yanking thrust.

"Fuck."

You stood on all fours, withstanding the forces that you were up against. Your breast swayed beneath you as Ruben fucked you with intensity, admiring the waves of your flesh with every stroke of his hips.  At one point he stopped, flipping you over to lay on your back again.

"I wanna see you enjoying me." He said, pinning your arms above your head, leaning down to kiss you as he fucked you missionary.

"Ruben, I'm close."

"Good. Come for me Y/N, come for me."

He had been holding out for you, waiting until the last moment so that the two of you could come together. Your bodies lay limb following the combined sigh of relief. Ruben lingered inside of you, allowing himself to go soft. You whimpered when he finally pulled out. The sensation left you feeling cold and sticky.

"Let's not keep Johnny waiting." Ruben got up and out of bed, helping you do the same.

Your son was happy to see you as always, however, it was Ruben he ran to for a hug at the gate.

"Ruweeen!"

"Hey little buddy. How was your day?"

Ruben carried Johnny back to his truck, holding your hand. The three of you had become a team as your relationship with Ruben evolved during the three months since moving in.

"Should we pick something up for dinner?" Ruben drove the truck past the town center.

"Pancakes!" Johnny exclaimed.

"No. We had that yesterday." You protested.

Johnny crumbled in his seat.

"Oh come on." Ruben leaned towards you,  grabbing your hand, planting soft kisses on your knuckles. "You love my pancakes, don't you baby? I bet we still have some of Kat's leftover jam. You loved it didn't you, almost emptying the whole jar."

"I did not!"

Johnny chuckled in the backseat, so did Ruben. They were both laughing at you.

"Now baby, there is no shame in having a sweet tooth, but at least be honest about it."

You slapped Ruben in the arm. "I do not....have...a sweet tooth."

He played along, pretending to crumble with your hits.

"Alright, alright. I surrender." He laughed. "But if you don't have a sweet tooth that means you don't mind us having pancakes tonight."

You shook your head, hiding your smile. It was surprising, yet terrifying how willingly Ruben's charm made you fold.

"Did you hear that J, pancakes it is!"

"Yay!"

You gave Ruben a look, a look saying that he was definitely paying for this later. By the look he gave you, Ruben seemed glad having to serve you this favor.

"I just need to pick up a few things from work."

Ruben parked his truck outside of the hardware shop. Whilst he took his time, you and Johnny decided to stretch your legs, running over to watch the ducks in the pond across the street. As you held Johnny, pointing out the female ducks opposed to the male ducks, you felt it, content. For the first time in your life you felt happy, stable and loved, all at the same time. It was an overwhelming feeling, one you dread ever loosing. That was about to change though, as you turned your head to check on how Ruben was doing. He had been loading boxes onto the back of his truck but now stood beside it, chatting vividly with a woman.

"Come on Johnny, let's go back."

It was the woman embracing Ruben that made you curious to know who she was.

"Ruben?"

He hadn't noticed you approaching and flinched at the sound of your voice.

"Y/N...sorry to keep you guys waiting."

The woman cocked her head curiously.

"Y/N this is Emily, Emily this is....is..."

"Y/N?" You frowned. Johnny chuckled in your arms. The repeating of names was confusing him.

"Right....Y/N." He mumbled. "Either way... Em, how are you? What brings you here, back in town?"

You felt set aside as Ruben and the woman picked up their conversation where it left off.

"Tomorrow is the 25th Ruben." The woman said, a serious expression coming across her face.

"Right." Ruben nodded. "The 25th..."

"You haven't forgotten, have you?"

"Of course not." Ruben looked slightly insulted. "I've just been busy, that's all."

"Busy doing what?"

You raised a brow as the woman looked to you, her expression nothing but friendly. You turned to Ruben. "What's on the 25th?"

"Um....it's...um..." He scratched the back of his head, struggling to give you an answer.

"It's my sister's birthday." The woman frowned. "Who is she Ruben?"

"Em, let's not do this here..." Ruben was quick to defend you, however you were just about to defend yourself if it hadn't been for Johnny. Ruben took the woman aside as she became visibly upset. He returned to you with a look of uncertainty.

"Ruben what is going on, who is that woman?"

"I....um...I'll explain later. I'm gonna drive Em to Kat and David's, okay. See you back at the house?"

"Your leaving?"

"No, I'll be right back, I promise."

You couldn't believe it.

"Y/N, don't be upset." Ruben rushed to kiss your cheek. "I'll explain everything back at the house, okay?

You nodded. "Okay " And with that Ruben was gone, leaving you for another woman.

Hours went by. Despite no sight of Ruben you had to get started on dinner for your son to be able to go to bed on time.

"Where is Ruwen?" He asked as the pancakes you made tasted nothing like Ruben's.

"I don't know honey." You tucked Johnny into bed. "I'm sure you'll see him in the morning."

There was a painful jab in your stomach as you turned the lights off and slipped out of his bedroom. Coming downstairs you saw the light from Ruben's truck pull up to the house.

"I'm so sorry I'm late." Ruben stumbled through the door, looking around himself to see that most lights were turned off, that you were preparing to go to bed.

"Don't apologize to me." You said. "Johnny is the one who's been waiting for you." You felt guilty, using your son against Ruben this way. The two of you weren't married and he had no obligations as a stepfather, meaning Ruben should feel free to leave the two of you anytime.

"Is he still up?" Ruben looked to the staircase.

"I just put him to bed." Your arms folded. "What happened today Ruben, who was that woman you were talking to?"

He sighed heavily, removing his jacket before stepping into the house. At least he was here to stay. That feeling comforted you somehow.

"Please." He said, gesturing for you to join him on the living room couch. He wrapped an arm around you, pullimg you close. Your head rested against his chest.

"Emily is Gina's sister." He said, after a moment spent in silence. "She's back here for the anniversary of Gina's birthday on November...

"....25th." You nodded.

"Exactly. I can't believe I forgot about it."

"What made you forget?" You tilted your head to look at him. Ruben smiled softly, his finger stroking your cheek. "I dunno." He shrugged. "Maybe the fact that Kat and David are doing better these days. I was a mess three months ago during the anniversary of Gina's...." Ruben struggled to get the words out. You kissed his forearm as to say that it was okay, you understood.

"It was bad timing, just ahead of the storm,  if you remember." He said.

Why would you remember?

"For some reason I decided to drink to cope with my feelings. I was passed out drunk by the time the storm came around. Kat and David seemed so understanding, never judging me, or worse, blaming me for the death of their daughter."

"Because it wasn't your fault Ruben." You said, with all seriousness. You had no idea that Ruben blamed himself for the tragic events of his wife.

"But it was." He sniffled. "I put that baby in her, I killed her."

You sat up. "Ruben, neither you or your son was the blame of what happened to your wife. No one is to blame. Gina was sick and she knew that, she knew there was a risk to everything she did. Do you know how many people would've dread living a normal life knowing it could end any day? Gina, however, was brave enough to want to get up in the morning, brave enough to fall in love, to commit. She was brave enough to want a house and a family."

Ruben looked at you with admiration, clearly he hadn't allowed himself to think of things this way. Perhaps he felt like he had to feel guilty as not to betray his dead wife and the memories that they shared.

"She was braver than all of us Ruben." You assured.

He slowly nodded his head, as if accepting your way of seeing things. Then he said something that startled you.

"I never knew I would find someone again...."

You batted your eyes as he looked intensely at you. "I never thought I'd feel the way I did about Gina again, until I met you."

"Ruben." Your voice trembled.

"You met me at my lowest." He chuckled.

What was so funny?

"I don't even think you rember meeting me then, in the bar, that night of the storm?"

You frowned as no memory came to mind.

"Either way, that day change my life for the better. You changed my life for the better."

You threw your leg over Ruben's thigh, climbing to sit on his lap. Ruben's hands went to rest on your waist,  keeping you steady. You knocked your forhead against his as he tilted his head up to meet your lips. The kiss was tender and longing. Ruben's shoulders dropped as he allowed himself to relax. He then wrestled you to lay beneath him on the couch, spreading your legs with a knee between your thighs. He smirked. "I owe you, don't I?"

You thought back to earlier today. "Yes you do, you owe me." You smiled.

Ruben traced kisses from the lobe of your ear down to the center of your stomach. He folded your shirt on the go as to expose more skin for him to trace kisses upon.

You bit you lip as not to make any noise. Johnny was still asleep upstairs. You popped up on your elbows to see why Ruben had stopped what he was doing.

"What?"

He was looking up at you, his expression difficult to read. You sat up, crawling towards him. "Ruben are you..."

"I love you Y/N."

He said it so fast that you had to catch your breath.

"What?"

He nodded. "I love you Y/N, more than anything."

It was as clear as day, your feelings for Ruben, you loved him too. Terrifying to admit, considering you've only know each other for three months. The best three months of your life. You thought of Gina however, to her it had been clear, she never had any doubt....

"I love you too Ruben."

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #manchester city #man city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst

[kitthepurplepotato]

MWRMI PART 8

Week 4 Part 2 - The Hero Con! 👾

Summary: Y/N goes to the Hero con with her favorite hero by her side. Jirou wants to have “THE talk.” Midoriya can’t hide his feelings anymore and almost makes a “mistake.” Kacchan is done with Deku’s shenanigans.

Warnings: Swear words, a little bit of jealousy, disgusting amount of fluff!

First Part Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“It’s finished!” You jump up excitedly after sitting in one place for several hours so you can finish your last commission right before midnight; now that your weekly work is done you’ll be able to enjoy the convention and spend your hard earned money on Deku merch.

Also, pro hero Deku will have a signing booth, you can’t wait to meet him in person and tell him how much you love him!

Actually, scratch that, you’ll grow some balls and ask him for a picture together. Yeah.

But wait…

You live with pro hero Deku.

He’s literally sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching an old All Might movie, waiting for you to cuddle up next to him as you always do.

Maybe you should just stay home. The tickets were extremely expensive this year and you literally know everyone you want to meet in person by now. The tickets are also refundable so it won’t be a problem to get your money back.

“What made you frown like that, sweet pea?” Midoriya places a hand on your shoulders, making you jump; when did he come over?! He was watching a movie just a second ago!

“I just realized how much money I spent on the tickets when I can see you guys any time for free. Sometimes, I forget I live with pro hero Deku.” You sigh, looking up at your favorite hero. He’s wearing an old All Might shirt and he looks absolute adorable as always. His hair is really messy, he probably forgot to comb it again. You really like this side of him, the one who doesn’t care about appearances, you really have no idea why you payed so much money to see him in a hero costume when you prefer him this way anyway.

The hero smiles at you, making your insides turn upside down at how fond and loving his smile is.

“Well, there will be an exclusive interview with me and Dynamight. Then there’ll be a lot of cool booths with fan-made comics…”

“Doujinshi.”

“That, yeah.” He nods. “Then… well… I’ll be there looking cute and sexy.”

“You are always cute and sexy.” You mumble with a pout, not convinced. Midoriya blushes and looks away while biting his lips… oh damn, this should be illegal. You’ll never be able to forget this face. You really need to take a cold shower. Like, now.

“Also, I would like you to be there… with me.” He murmurs, touching your hands for a second before pulling away. “I actually wanted to ask you if you would like to come to work with me? Be my helper for the day? You can get a refund on your tickets but come anyway. We both win.”

If this is how Midoriya’s face looks like when he’s asking someone to help him you don’t want to know how he would look like when asking a girl on a date. His face is about to explode, bless his little cute ass. Now it makes sense why the hero is still single.

“Will I get a backstage pass and everything?” You perk up, your eyes shining with excitement. “Can I get a staff discount on your merch?!”

“You can have all my merch for free anyway. Just tell me what you want and you’ll have it.” He smiles, patting your head fondly. You probably look like an absolute fangirl right now, but to be fair, that’s literally what you are and Midoriya knows that.

“OH MY GOD I’M SO EXCITED I’M GOING TO CRY MIDORIYA, THANK YOU!” You yell into the poor guys face who only laughs at your late night shenanigans. “Oh my god, I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Ahh, we should head to bed. We need to wake up early. Ahh, can it be tomorrow already?”

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

“You literally just said you won’t be able to sleep, are you okay?” Midoriya giggles.

“Do I look okay to you?! I’m having a crisis!”

“You are so bloody adorable.” Midoriya rolls his eyes but pushes you towards the bathroom. “Go and brush your teeth then go to bed. Come and see me before getting ready so I can tell you the plan. We need to get out of the house by 8.”

“Roger that, boss!” You run into the bathroom and close the door just to scream into a towel, like a real, mature adult.

You can’t wait for tomorrow. This will be the best day of your life.

~•🥦•~

Needless to say, you didn’t sleep too much but not even the lack of sleep can ruin your excitement; you are going to a convention… with the main star of the convention.

Like, what the fuck is your life, honestly.

Midoriya is already up, making his favorite fancy coffee in an oversized shirt and underwear. You try your best not to look… well, that’s a lie, you do look. His shirt is hiding almost everything anyway. Damn, those tights could kill a person.

“I hope this is not the outfit for the convention, have some decency.”

Midoriya jumps at your voice; he was clearly in his own little head, trusting the safety of his own house enough to not be aware of his surroundings. He looks over at your clothing; your pro hero Deku pajama shorts with a random, old t-shirt; nothing special, really; and grins widely.

“Well I hope this isn’t your convention attire either, I kinda want to be in peace, not chasing random horny dudes away from you every five minutes.” Midoriya fucking winks and you freeze; your heart will definitely explode if he keeps this up. You’ll never be able to come out of your room in these pajamas, ever again.

“Well, maybe I want to be praised by random dudes?” You snap back jokingly but the greenette’s eyes visibly darken by your words; his mouth twitches once then twice before his expression evens out to a normal one.

“I would prefer you not to flirt on the job.” He smiles, like he didn’t just try to kill you with his eyes just a second ago. What the heck was that about? “Oh, talking about our attire, I have something for you!” The green haired hero perks up and runs into his room to give you a neatly folded clothing item in a greenish color. When you open it up, you almost burst out crying. It’s Deku’s famous first hero costume; It has more patches than original fabric, it’s well-loved and definitely well-used, a lot smaller than the hero in front of you.

“But isn’t this supposed to be in the hero museum?” You ask, a little bit confused.

“The one in the museum is the first official one made by UA. This was my first ever hero uniform, my mom got it made for me when I got in. She tried her best to patch it up every single day but after a while I had to get a more durable one. It’s not suitable for fighting villains but it’s still wearable.” Midoriya smiles and you can’t even hide the happy tears trailing down your cheeks. “I want you to wear it today, Y/N.”

That’s it. This is how you die. You are incapable of saying anything so you just jump into the hero’s arms, hoping your feelings will come through the embrace without the need for words. Midoriya’s arms snake around your waist, pulling your body close, squeezing relentlessly; there is a hint of possessiveness in his movements but you definitely don’t mind; the feeling of being needed runs through your veins as you squeeze back with the same fervor, unsaid words swirling around you like tiny butterflies on a warm spring day.

“We should probably get ready.” Midoriya murmurs into your ears, his voice traveling through your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake; he says that but he pulls you closer, not letting you go yet. After a few seconds his hold loosens and you slowly get out of his embrace; you already miss the warmth around your waist but you know this isn’t the last time you get a hug from him so you skip to your room to change into the most valuable piece of clothing you’ve ever had your hands on.

For your surprise, it fits perfectly.

~•🥦•~

“Do I look cool enough, Number One?” You come out of your room in Deku’s costume; one half of the mask piece was missing; or to be exact, it was blown away, probably; so you had to play around to make it stay on your head, but you made it work; you did a dark, greenish make up to make the whole look pop and if that’s not enough, you topped the whole make up look with some fake freckles. You had some extensions in pine green color sitting in your drawer, so you popped those in and curled them together with your real hair, ending up looking like a female version of Deku. The suit is a tiny bit tight in the chest area as it wasn’t made to be worn by girls, but it’s really not that bad all together.

Your words are met with absolute silence, the only sound in the room is the sound of Midoriya swallowing hard. He looks a bit constipated but you decide not to make a joke out of it as he looks like he’s about to pass out.

“Wow. I really didn’t think it will look this good on you. You look stunning, Y/N.” Midoriya swallows hard again and runs back into his room. “Wait for me by the door, I’m just gonna grab my bag.” He wheezes, out of breath. You are a bit concerned for the well-being of your roomie right now but it’s probably just the stress, so you decide to wait patiently by the door for him. Your phone vibrates in your pocket so you quickly take a look.

— Deku’s daycare! —

Pikachu: Y/N’s wearing Deku’s old costume to the convention today, apparently she looks really fucking hot.

Pikachu: Oh fuck, wrong chat.

*Kacchan sugoi blocked Pikachu.*

Glasses 👓 : Ignore him Y/N, Zuku would never say such a lewd thing. He probably just said you look really lovely. I can’t wait to meet you today.

Kirishima: To be fair, he genuinely said “lovely” in our group chat with Katsuki!

Piggy 🐷: He probably messaged him by accident, everyone knows not to trust Denki with secrets.

Freeloader: I will make sure to remember that, Mina! I can’t wait to meet you, Iida-kun!

“Ahh, sorry, I was just messaging Kacchan.” Deku scratches the back of his head shyly. “Let’s go, Y/N.”

~•🥦•~

“I can’t believe I’m backstage!” You mumble as you take in the sight in front of you: staff members running around with random boxes full of merch while there’s a sound check happening on the main stage. You look out to the main area to see hundreds of vendors putting out their arts and comics, hanging up banners and talkers to promote their work. The backstage area is full of heroes, flexing in their fancy hero costumes, getting ready for their interviews and signing sessions. Jirou locks her eyes with you and comes over; Deku leaves your side after leaving a kiss on the top of your head, making you a flushed mess with his affectionate deeds.

“Hey bestie… can we talk?” Jirou smiles but by the look in her eyes, it’s something serious. You nod silently as she leads you to an empty room on the side of the massive backstage area; it’s filled with cleaning products and other necessities nicely lined up on the massive shelves. “You know I don’t beat around the bush so… what’s up with you two?” Jirou asks, her voice full of worry. “Whatever it is, I won’t be mad I’m just surprised you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Because there’s nothing to tell.” You sigh. “We are really close. I like him. A lot. I don’t think that surprises you.” You giggle with a sad look on your face; Jirou knows how much of a fanatic you are, there is no reason to hide it.

“No, it does.” Jirou speaks up. “Because we are talking about Zuku, not pro hero Deku here. I see how you look at him, Y/N. That’s not fanatism and you know that.” She reprimands while you try your best to hide behind the shelving system. “But that’s not what bothers me. Not at all. What bothers me is that Zuku gave you his most treasured hero costume to wear on a fucking convention. He likes you enough to do that.”

You really don’t understand what’s going on.

“I don’t see how is that a problem. We like each other. He’s a touchy-feely person who loves to make people smile. That’s all.”

Jirou rolls her eyes aggressively at your words.

“Yes, he likes to hug people but he doesn’t kiss them, especially not in front of the whole staff. But that’s not my problem. My problem is that I’m terrified you are going to get hurt. Seeing your loved ones after a fight is…”

“He came home drenched in his own blood enough times already, Kyou. I know what I’m getting into. Also, he doesn’t think about me that way so don’t worry.” You answer with your voice strained due to the stress. You really don’t understand this conversation.

“Y/N, you are so fucking oblivious I swear to god!“ Jirou yells. “Nevermind, just talk to me. Please. I want you to know I’m here for you if you ever need to talk about this. That’s all I wanted to say. This needs to be extremely overwhelming for you.”

“Thank you, I’ll message you more often. But if you’ll continue treating me like a fragile little quirkless girl…” your voice gets louder as the sentence goes but someone stops you in the middle of the sentence.

“Hey, hey, don’t fight.” Red Riot steps between you two like you can actually cause harm to the hero in front of you. “Y/N, I know this must be a lot for you but this is how we are. We are nosy and way too protective. We also talked to Deku about this the other day. We just want to make sure you two are okay. Not everyone is as good with this whole thing as you are, Y/N.” Kirishima looks at you with a sad smile, clearly knowing what he’s talking about. For your surprise, Jirou giggles.

“We weren’t fighting honey, we just both got a bit too protective.” She smiles and Kirishima nods, leaving without another word. That was weird.

“So what’s his baggage?” You giggle at your friend, the heated argument long forgotten.

“Girl, he lives with Katsuki. That’s enough of a baggage as it is.” She says with a fond smile on her face.

“Sorry for being so sensitive about this. You are right, it’s a lot. And it’s really hard not to love him more than I probably should. And to be honest… I do… love him… more. Duh.” You laugh self-deprecatingly, almost whispering while tears pool in your eyes. Jirou snakes her arms around you and whispers back.

“I would like to be concerned, but the way he looks at you right now, hiding being the door all concerned, I don’t think there will be a problem.”

“Oh my god, do you think he heard what I just said?!” You freak out, not even realizing the meaning of her last words.

“No, he didn’t, don’t freak out.” She laughs out loudly. “Come in, you nosy fuck, it’s not manly to eavesdrop!” Jirou mixes Katsuki’s and Eijirou’s style of talking perfectly which makes you laugh.

“Eijirou said there is an argument and I…” Midoriya stutters as he comes closer, ashamed of himself.

“Yeah, you are concerned, we get it.” Jirou rolls her eyes, looking at you two with a knowing face.

“Actually, I wanted to thank you… for introducing us. I’ll make sure she never gets hurt because of my job and…”

“… and I’m invited to your wedding.” Jirou finishes his sentence with a straight face.

“Yeah, of course you are!” Midoriya jumps in, then pales completely. “Wait, what?!”

“Nice one, Headphones!” Katsuki comes through the door, giving your friend a high five.

“I can’t believe I’m friends with you assholes!” Midoriya whines with a bright red blush on his face.

“You love us.” Jirou taps Deku’s shoulders to soothe the overwhelmed hero.

“I really do.”

Well, you’ve definitely have learnt one thing today; privacy is not a thing in this friend group.

~•🥦•~

While the heroes get ready for their panels you look around at the convention for a bit; you already bought a handmade Deku plushie, a few limited edition hero figurines only available at this convention and you also managed to get your hands on the next volume of the My Hero Academia manga; it started as a fan project but ended up to be a big hit, supported by the whole hero scene; it’s a manga about the history of the current top heroes, it shows their past UA life and also gives the reader a glint into the biggest war of the past decade. After the first volume, Horikoshi-sensei managed to get noticed by all the heroes who were more than happy to give him all the information he needed to keep the story as realistic as possible. The newest volume is officially coming out in a few weeks time but it’s available for purchase on this convention way before its official release. You can’t wait to sit down and read it.

After a bag full of random shit you definitely don’t need you make your way back to your flatmate, who’s just about to start his signing session in one of the booths. You barely make it inside before people start asking for pictures; apparently Midoriya isn’t the only one who thinks your cosplay is amazing.

“Oh my god, you are so cute, what the heck!” A younger guy, around 18, comes over to you with a massive smile on his face. “Can I have a photo?” He asks shyly and you oblige; but for some reason, the poor fella freezes in one place as he stares towards the stage. “Actually, it’s fine, I just wanted to tell you how much I like your style.” He continues staring, so you look the same direction; Midoriya stares at the two of you, black whip dancing around him aggressively as he stops signing a fan’s poster midway. “Is there a reason why is my favorite hero trying to assassinate me with his eyes?” The boy wonders, clearly shaking.

“He’s probably looking at something else. Let’s take that picture, okay?” You smile at the boy who takes a selfie happily and moves into the queue to get his own signature. You make your way over to the glaring greenette with a scolding look.

“Midoriya….” You stop by his side, giving him a sharpie as he managed to break the one in his hand, god knows how. “What was that about?”

Midoriya looks up at you with his signature puppy eyes between signing two posters, topped up with a little smile.

“You told me it’s okay to want things. I wanted you to stop talking to that guy and give me a new sharpie.” He says like it’s the most normal thing in the world to kill a person with his eyes.

You sigh, letting the hero off the hook for the sake of the signing and you are just about to move away when he grabs your hand under the table. He doesn’t say a word nor looks at you, he just keeps holding your hand while he signs with the other. He eventually lets you go when some people ask for pictures and you use the freedom to hide behind the backstage door where you are still visible for Midoriya but hidden from everyone else. He looks at you with a sad smile and turns back to the fans with a long sigh.

“Is he being weird again?” You jump from the sudden voice behind you; it’s Kaminari.

“Really weird.” You murmur, leaving the backstage to help at the merch booth as the poor guys are clearly swarmed up there. Quite a lot of people end up asking for a picture with you after their purchase went through at the tills and you also get a bunch of compliments for your amazing cosplay; you feel content and happy, even though you can feel Midoriya’s eyes on you the whole time.

“Are you Deku’s girlfriend?” A younger girl asks and you can’t help but blush at the question.

“Oh, no, not at all, I’m just helping! He’s… a great friend of mine.” You try to smile, but everyone can see how uncomfortable you are. The other staff members giggle at the awkwardness and ask the young girl to move away and let other people buy their stuff too. You let out a long breath and keep smiling at the customers, getting more and more tired as the time goes by; you get stuck at the tills until the end of the day, only being able to leave when the convention finally shuts it’s doors.

Midoriya comes over to you as you put the few leftover merch into a box to be taken back to the DC.

“Tired?” He smiles, while helping you pack. The rest of the staff members freeze from the sight of the pro hero but continue to do their assigned jobs.

“Definitely. I’m so ready to fall asleep on the sofa while stuffing my face with the fancy mochi I just bought.” You sigh, finishing up. “By the way, don’t do that.” You say quickly, trying to avoid eye contact.

“What?” Midoriya looks at you with questioning eyes.

“That. Staring holes into my skull. You don’t need to do that, I can take care of myself. I’m quirkless, not an idiot.” You sigh, a tiny bit offended.

“You misunderstand. It’s not because of that. I…” Midoriya stutters, making the other staff members stop working completely to be able to listen in. “Let’s talk about this at home, okay?” He says, pointing at the staff members with his eyes.

“I’m so sorry!” You mumble, but he just puts his hands on your shoulders and pulls you close.

“Can I have her back now? You guys can finish this, right?” You can’t see Midoriya’s smile but you can feel it in the way he talks. The staff members murmur a quiet “yes” as he takes your hand and starts pulling you towards the backstage. “Thank you guys for today, take whatever you want from the leftover box!” Midoriya says while taking 2 oversized shirts out of the box. “Matching PJs?” He winks at you, leaving the whole team dumbfounded by his words. You don’t have time to answer as the hero pulls you into the backstage area to take his backpack and say goodbye to everyone then moves towards the exit as quick as he can. “I’m so ready to sit on the sofa for the rest of the day, I swear this is more tiring than fighting villains.”

You don’t say anything back just giggle to yourself at Midoriya’s grumpy mood; it’s a new side of him, one even more adorable than all the others; he grumbles in a really cute way, his eyes squished together like a child throwing a tantrum. You squeeze his hand reassuringly as he pulls you towards the nearest taxi, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as soon as you both sit down.

~•🥦•~

“Can I have some?” Midoriya looks at you while you two snuggle on the sofa. You are watching a Crimson Riot movie in your new, matching pjs. The hero decided to wear it with nothing with boxers but thankfully, you are both under a massive blanket so you can’t see it. You can feel it though, which is probably worse and definitely way past the friendzone, but to be honest you don’t really feel like moving away.

“You want me to share my limited edition Deku mochi with you?” You look at him incredulously, keeping the box out of his reach.

“I am literally the reason this mochi exist, sweet pea!” The hero tries to reach again, ending up in your lap, taking the box from you as you freeze from the sudden closeness.

“You don’t get any until you say sorry for this afternoon.” You mumble with a flushed face, looking everywhere but at the hero in front of you. Midoriya decides this is a good enough sitting place and places his butt down right next to you without moving his legs; one of them stays sprawled out on your lap, skin touching skin.

Why can’t he sit like a normal person. Why.

“You are mad. Like, mad mad.” He mopes, looking like a 5 year old who didn’t get a present from Santa this year.

“I am! You scared that poor boy! He was literally shaking when he got to you! Your naked, absolutely gorgeous tights are also on my lap and I can’t focus on the scolding, so can you move them, please?!” You almost screech by the end of your sentence, hiding your rapidly darkening face with your arms.

“Oh, they are heavy, ain’t they.” He mumbles while he nods and moves back to his side properly.

That’s really not the problem you sexy idiot - you want to say, but you keep your thoughts to yourself.

“I’m sorry… I just…” he starts to ramble again, but this time, he doesn’t stop. “I saw him touching you and looking at you with those heart eyes and … I have no idea why is this happening to me Y/N, but every time I think about someone doing stuff like that with you, it makes me so furious I want to demolish them. I am really not an aggressive person but for some weird reason, I can’t control my anger when it comes to these situations. I’ll get better. You are your own person, you have all the rights to flirt, to fall in love and…” Midoriya’s full face is scrunched into a frown by the end of his monologue.

“You are right, I am my own person and I have all the rights to flirt and fall in love.” You repeat, making him bite his lower lip aggressively to ground himself. “But I won’t. I can’t. I don’t want to. Right now.” This time, you are the one who hides her face in his neck to calm down. As always, he smells amazing.

I can’t give my heart to someone but because you’ve already taken it - you want to say. But you don’t.

Midoriya presses a kiss on the top of your head while his hands get lost in your hair again; he massages your scalp soothingly while he says his next words.

“Just give me some time and I’ll be able to let you go.”

The sentence sounds familiar but you have no idea why; you are quite sure you’ve never heard him say anything like this before. Your heart squeezes at the words, leaving you an absolute mess as you mumble into his neck.

“I hope you need a lot of fucking time cuz I ain’t wanna go anywhere.” You mumble into his curls. “I want to stay here forever.”

Jesus, what are you even talking about?! This is pro hero Deku goddamnit!! You are nothing but a really lucky fangirl, nothing more, nothing less. You have no right to…

“Deal. Let’s stay like this. Forever. I don’t need anyone else either.” He smiles with tears in his eyes. “I never thought I’ll ever have this, whatever this is, and I don’t need anything else. Not now, not later.” Midoriya moves you up by your chin and rests his forehead against yours. By the way your heart is beating, you are probably about to die. “Y/N, will you be my roommate forever?” Midoriya whispers but you can’t make a proper answer so you decide to nod instead. The hero smiles and leaves a kiss right next your lips; your breath hitches for a second before he moves back to his starting position, like nothing had happened in the first place.

“You okay? You look really pale. Do you want to go to sleep, sweet pea?” He asks but you keep staring into space with no thoughts swirling in your dead brain…………….

“Yeah, I’m sleepy. Really sleepy.” You stand up and move towards your room without brushing your teeth. Disgusting, but if you need to stay in the same room with this idiot for another second you might combust.

“I’ll go too. It’s not fun without you.” He smiles.

You close the door behind you, then you belly flap on the bed to scream into your pillow.

Needless to say, you won’t sleep a wink tonight, nor the night after. You’ll never sleep again.

~•🥦•~

— Deku’s mental health support group. —

Lovesick Idiot (Zuku): I almost kissed her on the lips.

Ei: Accidentally?

Lovesick Idiot (Zuku): Yes. No. I don’t know??!

Kacchan: Just fuck already.

Lovesick Idiot (Zuku): You are not helping, Kacchan!

Kacchan: You can’t be helped. Now let us sleep.

Ei: Ignore him. So was it an accident?

Lovesick Idiot (Zuku): No.

Ei: Did she move away?

Lovesick Idiot (Zuku): No.

Ei: Why didn’t you kiss her then?!

Lovesick idiot (Zuku): She doesn’t see me that way.

Ei: …

Ei: Katsuki was right. Let us sleep. Good night.

*Kacchan changed Midoriya’s name to “Helpless, oblivious fuck”.

~•🥦•~

Y/N: Is it platonic when your roommate gets all protective over you and asks you to to be his roomie forever then he kisses you right next to your lips?

Jirou: Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?!

Y/N: I know, I’m stupid, but a girl can dream…

Jirou: You two will be the death of me I swear to god. I think you just gave me a brain aneurysm.

Y/N: …

~•🥦•~

Izu-Izu: Y\N, are you sleeping?

Y/N: Yes.

Izu-Izu: Yeah, me too…

…Next part!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- How to ask someone to be your girlfriend without saying “be my girlfriend”, am I right? How long will you two dance around each other? Honestly, I hope it’s long as I really don’t want to finish this series 😂😂😂😂

- Btw, I’m writing week 6 right now and you are not ready for that shit. The amount of stuff Midoriya gets away with even thought you two are not in a relationship is a little bit concerning at this point. 😂

- Weekly shopping obsessed potato ramble: so this week… I bought a Todoroki figurine and 2 funkos. Send help. It’s a funny story though! So I was on my last 15 min break at work, which is a street away from my fav geek store. They posted about the new My Hero Funkos and I literally sprinted down in my work uniform and headset to get a Todoroki and a Shinsou. I arrived all sweaty and panting and they all laughed at me, then my boss also laughed when I came back with a bag full of funkos. 😂

- I’m really broke now. Hopefully, there won’t be a shopaholic potato section next week. XD

- I also need to get a new shelf as I’m out of space. I need help.

Taglist: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @momothemasocist @aymasakusa

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya x y/n #midoriya x you #pro hero deku #deku x reader #deku x you #my hero academia #midoriya izuku

[starry-eyes-love]

Ch 8- A Christmas Story

Main Masterlist     Series Masterlist

My Journey to You Series:  Ch. 8- A Christmas Story (can read as a stand alone or in order with the series).

Pairings | Joel Miller x F!Reader with a lot of Ellie interactions 

Summary | A Christmas Story in January, three wishes granted, and finally the concept of a family once again…and F!Reader and Joel’s teasing hit an all time high between them.

Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI.  Language, slight angst (Joel and reader overthinks stuff again), sexual tension/teasing to the max, panic attack (Joel has one), a ton of fluffy fluff fluff stuff (like a ton), a lot of funny/cute little moments, references to smut (without actual smut though), passionate kissing, terms of endearment (baby, honey, etc.), Ellie calls Joel dad (it needs its own warning), Joel hears Sarah’s voice, Christmas theme stuff, water and snowball fight, Ellie and Joel banter, implied age gap (without any reference to age), Christmas cookies, family and marriage dynamic references, and I don’t want to spoil too much more.  This one is a tear jerker (funny laughter and fluffy stuff wise) but in the best possible way for them. And a ring may be involved (shhh). Ok, not going to spoil it anymore…just read it…oh and an old guy in a fat Santa suit :)   

Word Count:  10.9 K (not sorry really)

Ellie immediately started laughing as Joel struggled with the Santa suit. “Joel, you look funny in a fat suit,” she said, laughing out loud at a pillow peeking through his Santa jacket.  “I haven't heard of no Joel before, I'm Santa.” He said, with a husky voice. “So what happened to Joel? Did ya kill him when you landed your fat ass on top of him with your sleigh…”

Joel had hunted for the perfect Christmas tree. He tried to find one that wasn’t too big or too small, something that would easily fit inside the cabin. After searching for the better part of a day, Joel finally found one that was perfect. You had been sitting by the fire, relaxing after making jerky for food, when you heard Joel through the door say “Hey, can ya help me with this?”

When you opened your eyes and peered through the window you gasped at seeing the tree. “Joel, are you serious? Did you actually get us a Christmas tree?” you said, eyes bright and a huge smile plastered on your face. It had been ages since you had a Christmas tree, let alone a proper Christmas. Christmas was always your favorite holiday and you were absolutely blown away that Joel was making the effort to give you something from your childhood, even though it was long past the holiday season.

After the tree was up, Ellie and you searched the storage totes again and found some old Christmas decorations with lights. There were only a few ornaments in the storage containers, so you improvised. You hung a few spoons, a hunting knife that was broken, a few old holey socks, and a few pieces of paper that had fallen out from old books; all of which were placed on the tree like ornaments. It wasn't the best looking tree, but it meant something to the three of you. It showed that even with survival, there was still a chance of having a family once again.

The following days after you put up the tree you kept to yourself more, getting lost in your own thoughts of the past again. You thought about what time of the year it was, and by your calculations and best estimate, you figured it was sometime in the middle of January. Technically Christmas was in the past, being a December holiday. When you brought this fact up to Joel, he told you to stop worrying. That the whole point of any of this was to give Ellie a taste of Christmas, no matter what time of year or suggested date it was on the calendar. No one kept a calendar anymore, all any of you could do was guess. 

You tried not to worry, but you started overthinking again. You didn't tell anyone, but you silently hoped that Christmas would bring you a family once again. You knew Joel hadn't said that he loved you yet, but you were hoping he'd say it now for Christmas. What you didn't know was that Joel had been saying that he loved you, but just in Spanish, and you didn’t speak Spanish. Joel said ‘te amo’ almost every day to you, which meant that he loved you. He said it in front of Ellie once, and you saw Ellie's eyes go wide. Joel shot her a quick glare to be quiet. When you had asked her why she reacted that way, and if she understood Spanish, she said no. You didn't voice it, but you knew that she was lying. You tried asking Joel again what ‘te amo meant’, but he never answered you. He just walked outside and pretended not to hear you. You were starting to think that maybe your idea of Joel telling you that he loved you was wrong, that actually he was being mean to you once again, but this time in Spanish. You were so lost and confused, overthinking things once again in your head.

In the following days when you heard that the traps needed to be checked and reset, you volunteered to do it. This allowed you to mull things over in your head, without interruption or having to explain why you were being more quiet and keeping to yourself. You were gone for the better part of a day, taking longer than normal to check and reset the traps. You were so lost in thought, bent over and working on the last trap that you never heard Joel approach.

“Ya know, I didn't think watchin’ you attempt to check and rest a trap for the last 20 minutes would be so sexy. But I guess I was wrong.” He said, leaning up against a tree with his arms crossed.

You slowly straightened up and glanced over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow up at him. You didn't want to argue or fight, so you were wary of saying anything. When you looked at Joel, frustration was not what you saw. You saw him look at you like he was a wolf, and that you were his prey. His eyes were dark and pupils blown wide with lust. When you trailed your eyes down his body, you saw a tight prominent bulge in the front. The longer you looked, the more you felt your own heat rise up in your spine, and a deep throb started someplace else inside of you. How can that man stand there and look that damn sexy, you thought to yourself.

Joel stared at you, wondering the same thing. Damn woman. You're making it so fucking hard f’me. I just wanna bend ya over right there and fuck that nice tight lil’ ass of yours. Joel's thoughts were running rampant in his head, he was fighting hard to keep his calm composure and not give in to his animal instincts. After a moment of eye fucking you he said in a husky voice, “Ya wanna bend over for me, nice and slow baby? Let me see that nice tight ass of yours?”

“Yeah, well Miller, you can't touch now can you?” You said, smiling at Joel, trying to push the beast in front of you to give in and devour you. You craved Joel in every possible way. And by the way he was glaring at you, you figured he was thinking the same thing that you were. You wanted him desperately to stop being so noble, to just give in to his animal urges and claim you completely as his. 

With a slight smirk and another slow palm to his crotch Joel said, “well baby, that's why I'm asking ya to bend back over f’me. I wanna see that nice, big-”

“You better not be referring to my ass as being big there old man, or so help me God, that'll be the last time you see it in this position.” You glared at Joel, silently challenging him to continue.

You saw Joel swallow hard, his Adam's Apple bobbing up and down at your statement. Apparently your mouth turned him on. God, why did your smartass attitude sound so incredibly sexy to him right now? You watched Joel place his hands on his hips, slowly taking a few steadying breaths. It was getting harder and harder for him to deny you. This little chase game between the two of you was heating up, and Joel was miserable. You've been teasing the fuck out of him for days, not kissing him or allowing him to touch you sexually. He was about two seconds away from saying screw it and give in to you. He wanted you, desperately. Evidence of this was inside his pants right now, straining hard against his zipper.  Throbbing and pulsing to every fast beat of his heart, reminding him that even in this unforgiving world, that he was still a man that had needs. And his needs were screaming at him to bend you over and claim that perfect little cunt of yours as his. God man, get a fucking grip on yourself.

Joel scolded himself internally, he remembered the discussion the two of you have had recently regarding the act of penetration.  “Joel, do I not turn you on, do you not want sex? Every time I try, you say no. I want to. Please.”  Your thoughts and mouth had overflowed with doubt and anxiety at his relationship with you recently. It wasn't like he didn't want to have sex, God he wanted nothing more than to give in and give you everything. But he was trying to do this right, or so he thought. “Just a little while longer,” he had said to you. But the more he watched you right now, the more he started to question his own logic. 

Joel, being so lost in thought, was surprised when you slowly bent over and ran your hand up the back of your ass. “Mr. Miller, I want you to fuck this so bad.” You had said, looking back at him, pleading with your eyes.

Joel was trying to be a good man for you, a true gentleman. But you almost made him cum right there on the spot with that move. Right now he wanted to throw all caution out of the way and just bury himself deep inside of you, claim you as truly his. With a low growl, and a firm palm to his crotch, Joel looked at you with warning eyes and said, “Darlin', ya can't say shit like that t’me and expect me not to-” Joel had to stop himself before he fully admitted to his weakness. He knew that if he told you that he wanted to fuck you, that you'd touch him. And the moment you'd touch him would be when his last resolve would snap, and he'd give in to you with no restraint.

When you looked back at Joel, he looked completely wrecked. That man is truly like iron steel with his resolve. Holding back and not giving in, you thought.  For a moment you truly were impressed with his ability to say no. But as the intense stare down continued, you knew he was on the verge of breaking and giving you what you wanted. But by how black his pupils looked, you knew he wouldn’t be able to be gentle, and that terrified and excited you all at the same time. You wanted him to give you everything that he had, to not hold back anymore, and to just let himself feel something. “Ya alright?” you said, while walking over to Joel. When he didn't respond, you were concerned. So with a long exhale you said, “Look Joel, I'm sorry, I-”

“No ya ain't. Ya ain't fucking sorry and you know it. Fuck woman, ya need to stop teasing me like this.” He said, pointing down at the front of him. You could see that he was uncomfortable, pants visibly tight around his big length. He was slightly throbbing through his denim jeans as his belt fit nice and snug on his waist. His lips were slightly parted as he slowly licked them, getting them nice and moist.  He ran a hand through his hair, breathing heavy, cock twitching at your staring eyes.  You heard a low growl emit from his chest as he said with a stern voice “quit fucking staring at me like that, and stop your god damn teasing, now.”

When you slowly raised your eyes up to Joel’s face, you saw the wild man, the wolf within him, stare back at you. Joel had that look in his eyes of pure dominance. He wanted you to challenge him, so he could claim you as truly his. Every warning bell was going off in your head from him, and you did the only thing that you knew you could do in this situation.  You pushed him a little more, wanting his resolve to snap hard. “Teasing you? I'm not teasing you Joel.” You said, allowing irritation to lace your voice. Here you were minding your own business, thinking about stuff when he told you that you looked sexy and to bend over, and now giving you fuck me eyes. What the fuck was his problem, he was teasing you, you thought.

Joel didn't say anything, but he continued to look at you breathing hard. He knew you were challenging him, hoping that he’d lash out and teach you a lesson. You two had a lot of sexual tension building up over the past few months. And honestly, you two needed to fuck it out, but here was not the proper time nor place to do it.  So he gently shook his head no, and took three steps back from you, dropping his hands to his sides while whispering “baby, we can’t.” 

You knew that Joel was backing down, retreating from his feelings once again. And this made you frustrated.  This was the whole reason why you were out here in the first place. You needed some time to be away from the tension inside the house, from the constant reminder that Joel didn’t want you sexually the way that you wanted him.  So when you turned back around to go back to the trap, you were surprised to feel Joel grab your arm.  Confusion laced your face when you looked down at his contact with you. His voice, almost in a pained whisper said, “baby please, just wait a sec. Maybe we could, I- uh want to, I want- shit.” He said, shaking his head.

“Joel, what is it?” You were hoping that if he couldn’t do the act that he obviously wanted to do, that maybe he could just at least talk about it with you.

Joel just stared at you, pleading with his eyes for you to understand him.  He wanted to say ‘Baby, I love you and wanna fuck you so bad,’ but he couldn't voice it to you. Joel was scared. He was scared of feeling the things he felt for you in a world that was truly unforgiving. He didn't want to feel the pain of losing you, like he had when he lost Sarah. He also didn't want to be alone anymore. So with a huff he said “looks like ya got it all figured out. Don't- don't take too much more time.” 

When he turned to leave, you reached out and grabbed him by the arm and said, “what, no kiss goodbye?”  You wanted something to hold on to, something that said that all this sexual tension was worth it, that he wanted you. That maybe he actually did love you.  But when you saw Joel looking at you with a stone cold look on his face, one that was also mixed with pain, you heard him whisper “no” as he pulled further away.

“Why? Did I do something wrong? Joel, what did I do so wrong, why don’t you want to-”

“No darlin' you didn't do anything wrong.” He said, stopping and smiling kindly at you. “I just- it ain't a good idea right now is all, ok. We can’t, not here. I need to get back.” And with that he yanked his arm out of your grasp and marched towards the cabin once again. 

You called back to him and said “why? Joel, I don't understand,” but he never stopped. You were left standing there, now more confused than ever, thinking to yourself, what in the hell was that?

Do you want me to fuck you? Is that what you want? Your words kept playing over and over again in Joel's head from the other night as he marched back to the cabin. Do you even want me Joel? He couldn't stop the racing thoughts as they entered his mind. 

When he got back to the cabin, he went inside. Once he was inside he slammed his fist onto the closed door, placing his head against it with his eyes closed. He was breathing hard and fast, heart pounding hard inside his chest. He tried to slow his breathing down when he felt the ache in his chest start again, like it has so many times before. But this time it was a little different, he felt a tightness take over too. His vision started to blur, and his ears began to ring. He was spiraling out of control into a god forsaken panic attack once again. 

Before he was sucked too far down into his fears, he felt someone put their hand on his back and softly whisper, “dad you're gonna be ok. Just breathe. Come on, slow breaths for me.”

“I can't, it's too much.” He said, eyes shut tight as he felt his heart pound hard into his chest.

“No, it's not too much. One long breath in, hold for two seconds, then exhale for three. Come on dad, with me.”

Joel heard the breaths going in and out, and the voice that attempted to calm him.  He thought he was hallucinating, hearing Sarah’s voice once again, but it sounded different from what he usually could hear in his mind.  As he tried to focus on breathing, he struggled. Then he heard the voice say in a soft and gentle manner again, “What scared you?” 

“I don't wanna be alone, but I don't want to feel the pain of losing you again” he said, feeling his heart pound faster in his chest at the admittance of what caused his panic attack to start. 

“You ain't gonna be alone dad, we love you. Now come on, breathe with me and repeat after me ‘I’m safe, I'm calm, I'm loved.’” 

Joel repeated it multiple times, for several minutes, listening to the voice calm him and slow his breathing down.  His heart had returned to normal in his chest, vision no longer cloudy and ears no longer ringing. Finally he took a big breath in and out, steadying himself once again. But before he opened his eyes he heard the voice say, “I love you dad, please never forget it.” And then the soft voice was gone. Joel opened his eyes and looked behind him as he slowly watched Ellie walk towards her bedroom. It was then that he realized the soft voice wasn't Sarah, it was Ellie. And his heart constricted once again, but this time out of love for the teenager he traveled with. “Thanks baby girl” he whispered as Ellie walked away. Ellie never acknowledged it, but she heard him loud and clear.

Once you got back, Joel was already in his room with the door shut. Ellie said that when he returned, he just walked in saying that he wasn't feeling well, and then went to lay down in his bedroom. She never told you that he had a panic attack, and that she helped him calm down. You sat talking with Ellie for a bit, she continued to ask you a million questions about what life was like before during Christmas. Eventually you felt your eyelids grow heavy, so with a smile you said “I'm gonna go and get some sleep Ellie. It’s been a long day.” You were still hurt and sensitive about your earlier discussion with Joel, second guessing his feelings for you once again.

Ellie just nodded at you, not saying anything in return. As you got to the hallway you heard her say “just so ya know, te amo means I love you or love you in Spanish. Joel, he's emotionally constipated and hurting right now. He doesn't want to lose you or I like he did Sarah. So, I don't know, just cut him some slack or something. I want a family for Christmas.”

You just looked at Ellie and nodded your head. When she went back to reading her book you went to your own room, letting Joel have the other room by himself.  You two needed a break, well mostly you did.  You were exhausted and needed to sleep, but didn’t want to lay next to the man who made you ache inside for him when he wouldn’t do anything to help relieve that discomfort. You and Joel used to play around with each other, where he’d use his fingers and mouth to help you get off.  But recently he wouldn’t even do that. Something was different with him, and you didn’t know what caused it or why.  

After you laid down you found that sleep quickly caught up to you. And for once it gave you pleasant dreams. Dreams of a family and a life that you wanted with a foul mouthed teenager named Ellie, and a wise old grump named Joel. Christmas was going to be great this year, or at least it was like that in your dreams.  Little did you know, your dreams would soon become reality.

3 Days Later

“Joel, you can't see for shit beyond ten yards away. You're old and blind” Ellie said, sitting by the fire and talking with Joel.

“What the hell does that even mean, ya little shit? I can see beyond 10 yards, ya smartass, right y/n?”

“Hey, don't bring me into this argument,” you said, laughing at the banter between Joel and Ellie.

“See y/n agrees, you're old as shit Joel.”

“What? How’d you come up with that logic?  She didn’t even say anythin,’” Joel huffed, going back and forth with Ellie.  The banter between these two for the last few days was getting more frequent, which made you laugh harder each time. It wasn’t that these two were fighting. They were just bickering with each other, playful banter really, and something that reminded you of a family.  You remember seeing your uncles do it with their teenage daughters, it reminded you of home. 

“Look here smartass, don't go and spread lies ‘bout me that ain't true. If ya can’t verify it or back it up, then you’re just making stuff up.” Joel was now standing tall and pointing a finger at Ellie. Ellie, relaxed on the floor, was questioning Joel in whether or not he could even see to shoot a bow, as he was struggling to read the book in his hands. He kept squinting, huffing to himself and saying that people needed to stop printing books in such small print.

“Joel, you can’t see the large print book in front of you, when it says ‘large print’ on it. You’re fucking blind ya old man, ain’t that right y/n?” Ellie said with a serious look on her face.

“Ellie, god damnit watch your mouth. Ya hear me? I said no swearin’. And you over there,” Joel said while pointing a finger at you, “stop your damn laughing.” You were rolling around on the floor laughing so hard that your stomach hurt at the calm bickering that Ellie and Joel were both doing. You could barely contain your laughter, trying not to hurt or bruise Joel’s ego at the situation that he swore just as bad (and if not worse) than Ellie did, yet he was yelling at her for swearing.

“Damn it, I can’t read this sentence.  Y/n what the hell does this even say here with this small print.  I tell ya, they don’t make books like they used to.” Joel mumbled to himself, while pointing out the sentence he couldn’t read.

Ellie immediately tried to grab the book, offering to help Joel read it. But Joel quickly batted her hand away, putting the book into your hands.  You glared at Ellie and Joel, trying to decide what you should do.  Ellie was pleading with her eyes for you to crack a joke so she could continue with the easy conversation of teasing Joel.  Joel was looking at you to solve the problem he was having.  After a moment you brought the book up so you could read it, deciding to help Ellie have some more fun, and for you to have a little fun with the old man that was in front of you. You needed to relax too, not every interaction with Joel needed to be so intense.

“Ok Joel, I’ll help you.  What do you want me to read?” you asked innocently, hiding the devilish smirk behind your calm exterior. When Joel pointed out the sentence, mumbling again how books aren’t created like they used to be, having the print too small, you couldn’t help yourself. You took a deep breath and said, “well first off Joel, this book was written back in 1945. But you’re right, they don’t make them like they used to. And you’d know that perfectly wouldn’t you, with your age.” You then went to start to read the sentence and you noticed that Joel froze as he sat down, looking over at Ellie who was sitting upright, not yet laughing or saying anything at the old reference.  You had to hand it to the kid, she patiently waited until your next sentence came out.

“Ok Joel it says, ‘once upon a time, an old man named Joel couldn’t see, so he decided to blame the world for being old. He asked a beautiful, young, and attractive woman to help his poor, old, feeble self by reading something that a blind man could honestly see. So she decided to help, because he was really cute, and in the end, she agreed with the teenager that he was old as fuck. The End.’”

“Gimme that wiseass” he said as you finished.  Ellie was now bent over laughing so hard that she was hyperventilating at how much you were in on teasing Joel too.  “No respect from the younger generation I tell ya, no respect.”  Joel then got up with a groan and sulked towards the bedroom with his book in his hands.  When he got to the hallway he turned around and said “if y'all are through laughin’ at me, I’m gonna go and read in the bedroom and get some sleep.”

“Cause you’re old as shit” Ellie said.

Joel, not realizing what Ellie had said out loud, commented “right, see you in the morning.”  

You and Ellie both roared with laughter at the fact that Joel didn’t realize what he agreed to.  After a moment, he stopped and then hit his head with the palm of his hand, saying, “I didn’t mean that. I’m not agreeing to that.” 

You replied, “see Ellie, apparently he’s old, blind and deaf too.”

“No respect I tell ya, none.” He said loudly upon hearing what you said. Huffing to himself, he marched into the bedroom yelling “and yet y’all need me to survive” as he slammed the door.  

Both Ellie and you continued to laugh in the living room.  After a moment you said “we probably shouldn’t make fun of him so much, he gets a little touchy ya know.”

“I know,” Ellie said, “but it’s so much fun teasing Papa Bear like this. Reminds me of what it’d be like if he was my dad.  Well, I’m gonna go to bed.”  She said, then getting up and leaving for her room.

“Night Ellie,” you said as Ellie walked towards her bedroom.  You sat there in the living room for a little while longer, rubbing your eyes and giggling to yourself at the funny banter that happened. Life was feeling pretty good for a bit. But now with the quiet, you felt your heart constrict and those empty thoughts of being alone came rushing back in. After sitting there in silence you decided to go to bed yourself. Forcing your thoughts to rest in your head at the fact that you were going to be sleeping alone once again.

When morning came, you had decided to bake Christmas cookies in secret. You recruited Ellie to help you keep Joel distracted for the afternoon. Ellie had apologized to Joel in the morning, he had called her a smartass again, but it seemed like he forgave her.  He wouldn’t talk to you really, telling you that you were mean to him and that he doesn’t talk to mean people.  You knew he was just joking as he gave you a wink and a light hip chuck at the statement when he stood next to you in the kitchen.  You’ve never seen this side of Joel, so carefree and fun that it shocked and surprised you, but also turned you on.  You loved carefree Joel, someone that you hoped you would be able to see more of.  Once Ellie was talking Joel's ear off outside, you started to bake your surprise Christmas cookies.

“Hey old man, why haven’t you told her what Te amo means yet?” Ellie asked, leaving out the part that she already told you what it meant. She wanted Joel to say it to you, knowing that you both loved each other very much and she wanted both of you to be happy. 

“Not the right time” was all he said, huffing as he swung the axe to chop firewood. “And stop calling me old” he said with another grunt and swing of the axe.  

“When’s the right time Joel?” She questioned, transfixed at what he was doing.

“Dunno” was his only reply as he swung the axe yet again.

“Joel I-”

“Ellie, this ain’t none of your business what her and I- what we- Look, her and I have-”

“God Joel, you’re forgetting that I’m practically an adult, I know you two have your little love sessions. That’s what I mean, if y’all can fuck, then why can’t you tell her that you love her?”

“Keep your voice down” Joel snapped, approaching Ellie for a moment to grab another piece of firewood. “And for the record, we ain’t fuckin’ yet, so-”

“Why not? Can’t get it up old man, is that the problem?” She joked, smiling at her sarcasm that she just gave him.

He just shook his head at her, not answering her.  Getting it up was not the problem, that part was evident last night when he went to bed. You had given him a lot of sass last night and Joel hated to admit that it was a huge turn on for him. You were strong, could keep up with him and you weren’t afraid to put him in his place. When he walked into his bedroom last night, he was hard as a rock at the fact that you had a sassy mouth.  It only took him a few minutes before he came hard around his fingers, wishing he was buried deep inside of you.  This no sex thing was getting to him, he needed you in more ways than one, and he didn’t think he’d be able to hold off for very much longer. 

“So what’s the reason Joel?” Ellie said, snapping Joel out of his train of thought.

“I just want to do this right” was all he said.

“How do you ‘do it right?’” Ellie asked genuinely, not understanding the complexity of relationships like this yet.

“What’s with all these questions, huh?  Look, her and I, what we- I know what I’m doing, ok? Don’t worry about this, it ain’t your concern.” he said, swinging the axe and chopping another piece of firewood.

Ellie loved teasing Joel, especially about you. You had asked her to go out and keep Joel occupied as you started baking something inside the house. You found an old recipe for Christmas cookies, specifically sugar cookies. You went through the pantry and saw the makings for the cookies and you wanted to do something nice for Joel, considering the tension between you two wasn’t the best at the moment. You didn't know what was the matter, you figured it had everything to do with him remembering his last Christmas with his daughter. That's why you wanted to make this Christmas perfect for him and Ellie too.

“So do you?” Ellie asked Joel as she continued to watch him. 

“What?” He said, breathing hard after he swung the axe yet again, chopping another piece of firewood.

“You heard me. Do. You. Love. Her?” she said, emphasizing each word so Joel could hear her. Ellie was genuinely interested in whether or not Joel actually did love you.

Joel, not wanting to talk about his feelings, started sifting through the log piles, pretending like he was trying to find something. Ellie could tell that he was nervous, not wanting to answer the question. She walked over to Joel and then said “Papa Bear, what's the matter?”

“I do. I do love her it's just that-”

“You're just scared to love that hard again, I get it.” Ellie said, smiling at him at his attempted admission. Every time she's ever tried to get Joel to talk about his feelings he's always blow up either at her or at you for asking. So this little attempted admission made Ellie feel good, knowing that he did in fact love you and that Joel felt comfortable enough to share.

“Yeah somethin’ like that. Now enough of making me talk, what are you gonna give y/n for Christmas?” Joel said, trying to change the subject.  

Ellie had talked Joel's ear off all afternoon. When he got tired she took a turn and chopped firewood for a little bit. You watched through the window at the two of them, seeing how he just fell into the typical dad role. At one moment you saw her jump on his back to try to get him on the ground. He was able to twist around and finally held her down, tickling her. You could see that he loved that sassy foul mouthed teenager as if it was his own Sarah.

You were finally finished baking the sugar cookies, as they were now cooling on the rack, when all of a sudden you heard Ellie yell “hey y/n, can you come out here for a second?”

When you didn't respond right away, as you were grabbing your boots and coat, you heard Joel yell with a booming voice “woman, get your ass out here now.”

You quickly ran outside saying “What? What's the matter?” When all of a sudden you were hit by a flying snowball. You looked around to see where it had come from when you got hit right in the face again with another one. When that happened, you yelled as it had stung and surprised you.

“Oh shit Joel, you hit her in the face” you heard Ellie say.

“Shh not so loud, you'll give away our position” he countered. 

When you looked around eventually you saw Joel and Ellie poke their head out of a little hiding spot. “You shits,” you had said, while forming a snowball yourself and then launching it at them. The next thing you knew, the three of you were having an honest to God snowball fight, like you were all 8 years old again. Quickly though it became girls against the boy, as Joel accidentally hit Ellie in the back of the head and she yelled “What the fuck Joel?”

His response was “well when ya got a big head, and are in the way, what do ya think will happen?” That caused you and Ellie to form a temporary alliance to get even with Joel.

As the three of you were forming strategic positions and developing an art to this snowball fight, you had an idea to really get Joel back. You went into the kitchen and filled a large pot with ice cold water. This will get him good, you thought. Then Ellie got him cornered and you approached him with the water.

“Woman, now put that down now. No use you gettin’ yourself hurt.” He said, trying to get away from you, but Ellie had him backed into a corner. When Joel saw that you weren't backing down he said “so help me God y/n, if ya do that I'll throw your naked ass in the snow later.”

“Hear that Ellie? I believe Joel just gave me a challenge. What do you think, kid?” You said, while approaching Joel. He was quickly glancing around to try to find an exit, when he couldn’t find one he thought intimidation might stop you. 

“Look here, that’s not a challenge little girl. It's a fucking promise. Ya do that I will throw your ass naked in the snow.” When you didn’t back down he quickly shouted, “woman, put it down now or else-” and that's when you did it.  You tossed the water at Joel and drenched the entire front of him.  He immediately yelled saying, “Jesus Christ, that's cold. Ya tryin' to freeze my balls off here or somethin’? What's gotten into you?” He then got grumpy and started walking inside, not wanting to look at anyone anymore. He looked like a wet pup, and boy did it make you and Ellie laugh. 

When Joel entered the cabin he stopped as he smelled a familiar old scent in the air. When you walked in behind him you put your hand on his back and said, “Merry Christmas Joel.” He turned around, and said, “did ya bake Christmas cookies?”

“Of course I did, honey. Sugar cookies only though. It was the only thing I could find the ingredients for.” You said, biting your lip nervously. Ingredients were hard to come by but you managed to find enough for a batch of cookies, and then some left over for bread. Sugar cookies were cooling on the wrack and bread was still baking in the oven. You knew they wouldn't have that fresh taste as you had no idea how old the ingredients were. You couldn't use chicken eggs or butter, so you substituted it for some water and other ingredients like stored coconut oil you found that was still ok. 

Joel stood there sniffing the air, a wide grin plastered onto his face. He may be a man in his 50s, but right now in this moment he looked like a young boy, excited to have baked Christmas goods. “Um, do ya think that maybe I could-” Joel said, shuffling over to where the cookies were cooling, dropping large pools of water everywhere with how wet he was. 

When you looked down you giggled to yourself at how his threat of throwing you into the snow naked hadn’t happened yet, something that you weren’t going to remind him of. “Hey, how ‘bout you go and get outta those wet clothes, then come over and have the first official taste test. Let me know how I did.” You said, nudging him gently towards the bedroom where some warm and dry clothes were.

Joel nodded and quickly shuffled off to change his clothes, leaving large drops of water all the way down the hall. “Is he gone?” Ellie asked, peeking her head around the door while still standing outside, not wanting to get attacked herself with water from Joel. 

“Yeah, he went to go and change quick,” you said, bending over and checking the bread. Seeing that the bread was done, golden brown but flat, you took it out of the oven and shut the oven off. You stood there glancing at it and then pinched the bridge of your nose, muttering to yourself, “well, it didn't rise right. That yeast must be too old.”

“Still smells amazing darlin', I'm not picky” you heard Joel say, standing close behind you. When you turned around to look at him, you saw a flash of something different.  It almost looked like happiness, something you don’t think you’d ever see Joel have. “Well Ellie, ya want your first taste of a Christmas cookie?” Joel asked, then motioned for Ellie to take one and bite into it first. “Well how does it taste?” He said, smiling at the way her eyes lit up, savoring the bite like it was the best thing that she’d ever tasted. 

After a moment she said “um- wow. That's really fucking good.”

“Language Ellie, Jesus Christ” Joel mumbled. “Damn kid needs to watch her mouth.”

You silently laughed because it was like watching a father and daughter interact once again. Soon Joel bit into the cookie himself, and then he moaned at the taste. “For something so old it sure tastes damn good” he mouthed, cookie still half in his mouth. 

“Yeah, I know you taste good,” you said softly so Ellie couldn't hear.

Joel started sputtering and coughing at the statement of you referencing how he tasted and his age. He grumbled to himself saying, “Dammit woman, you're gonna kill me one of these days. Jesus.”

Ellie was still going on about the taste of the cookie and how it compared to other things she's tried, that she didn’t catch the slight sexual innuendo interaction that you and Joel just had. According to her, the stale taste of the cookie ranked high on her list of her favorites.  The three of you enjoyed a total of two cookies each, agreeing that you should keep the rest for later, just in case Santa would come. Ellie, even though being older, was still holding out hope that a big fat guy in a red Santa suit was actually real.  What she didn’t realize was that she was going to see Santa sometime soon. 

A Day Later

Joel decided to go out hunting, to see if he could bring back a true Christmas feast for you and Ellie. Ellie decided to go with him, saying that she wanted to prove that she would do a better job at shooting something, telling Joel that he couldn’t see.  The same argument that started a few days ago about a book continued as they walked off into the woods together. They were gone a long time and when they returned, it was almost dark out. When they returned Ellie came running inside saying that she shot a deer. You congratulated her, saying that you were proud of her for being an expert marksman. When you went out to help Joel dress the deer, you found him laughing silently to himself.

“What's so funny?” You asked as you slowly approached him.

“That kid over there.” He said, kneeling down and craving into the deer while motioning with his head in the direction that Ellie went. You looked down at him and gestured for him to continue with your hands. “She- uh, she never hit the deer. That one couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, so I had to kill it. But I-I made it look like she did it.” He said laughing and shaking his head.

Joel then told you that when Ellie pulled back the bow and shot at the deer, that she missed.  She had immediately shut her eyes, not seeing if she hit the deer but asked Joel if she did. Joel, having already had his bow drawn, saw that she hit a tree stump only 3 feet away. When he realized that she missed he released his arrow and killed the deer, you three did need to eat after all. However, after he killed the deer, he had decided to tell Ellie that she did it, knowing that it'd make her day. “So ya see, I couldn’t not help the little shit” Joel said laughing out loud. “She made this big fuss about it ahead of time, and I couldn't just break her heart in telling her that all she managed to truly kill was the tree.” 

“Aw you're so sweet, you know that” you said, smiling at Joel looking out for Ellie.

“Yeah, I've been told that a few times I reckon” he said while standing up and looking at you with dark hungry eyes. “I’ve been also called old and an asshole too many times too,” he stated with a smirk, then bending down again to continue to slice into the deer.

You didn't know how to respond to his teasing, so you just stood there silent. After a moment you turned to head back into the house when you heard Joel say, “Te amo, baby.” You still didn't know what he was saying in Spanish, if Ellie was true with her statement, it meant that he loved you. So before you entered the house you gently replied back, “Te amo Joel and Merry Christmas.”

When Joel was finished dressing the deer he cooked the venison. As soon as you bit into the cooked venison you let out a low moan in pleasure. The explosion of flavors with fresh meat felt amazing to your taste buds. Joel hummed in contentment and blushed a rosey red in his cheeks at your outward display of gratitude. You told him that it tasted amazing and that he was the best cook ever, even Ellie agreed with you. 

After the food was consumed, and the table was cleared, the three of you sat around the fire. You and Joel taught Ellie Christmas songs and you three all enjoyed feeling like a family for once. When time came to open up the presents, you could see that Ellie was just like a toddler. She was jumping for joy at seeing things under the tree for her that was wrapped up in old rags as wrapping paper with her name on them.  As she opened her presents, she was excited at what she saw.

Joel gave Ellie a warmer winter jacket, one that he found at the other abandoned cabin that was located about five miles West from where the three of you were.  He found the cabin about a month ago, abandoned just like this one was. He had been bringing over more supplies from there periodically. The jacket that he found was too small for you or him, but it fit Ellie perfectly. When she tried it on she was beaming at how comfortable it felt, and how warm it was. 

You had given Ellie a handmade necklace, made out of different rhinestones that you had found in a storage craft box in the cellar. Crafts were something that you always loved to do when you were younger, and something you’d do in the QZ if you could find them. Joel and you also gave Ellie three joke books that you both found. As soon as she saw them she started crying, saying that it was the most perfect Christmas she’s ever had, and yet the biggest surprise wasn't even there yet. 

Joel and Ellie both gave you a Wilderness Cookbook, something that he found in the other cabin also.  He explained to you that the cookbook had recipes of how to cook rabbit, venison, and other things in the wilderness. You were grateful and thanked them both. Joel then whispered quietly in your ear, “I got something private, just for the two of us to indulge in later.” He said, gently squeezing your knee when you looked up at him with hopeful eyes, questioning him silently for what he had planned.  You then saw Joel slowly open his mouth, sticking just the tip of his tongue out, as he moved the tip of his tongue back and forth fast.  Using the same motions that he did when he’d eat you out. You blushed a dark crimson shade of red and quickly adjusted in your seat. Your panties suddenly felt too tight on you as you pushed your thighs together for some relief at the throb you felt in your core. “Later” he whispered again to you, while giving you another gentle squeeze to your knee and a chaste kiss to your cheek. 

Joel then opened a few Western books from Ellie, ones that you had given her.  You had just finished reading them recently and you knew that Joel wanted to read the books.  So you gave them to Ellie and told her that you had found them at the other cabin and thought that maybe Joel would like to read them. Joel thanked Ellie and acted all surprised at seeing the books. Neither one of you told her that Joel had already asked to borrow them from you whenever you were finished reading them.

Joel then also opened a small homemade bracelet from you that you had made him.  The bracelet had a butterfly pendant attached to it. When he saw it, Joel froze and just looked up at you. “Tess told me that Sarah used to love butterfly’s.” You told him as he gently ran his finger over the pendant. “Joel, if I could give you Sarah I would but-”

“No, it's alright. It's beautiful.” he said, sniffling slightly at the sight. Sarah, his babygirl, God he missed her. After a moment he quickly shook his head and then stood up, remembering that he still had two other gifts to give.  Joel quickly said, “um, excuse me for a moment. I ah- I need to grab something” and then he disappeared by walking outside. Ellie was so focused on her joke books that she never saw Joel leave. All of a sudden you heard a knock at the door, followed by a “Ho, Ho, Ho” behind it. Ellie immediately tensed and you casually went over to the door, holding a gun for good measure, nevermind you knew who was behind the door.  When you opened the door you saw Joel dressed head to toe in a Santa suit. 

“Howdy there little lady- Jesus Christ woman, ya gonna shoot me or somethin’?” he said, shaking his head, looking at the gun you had pointed at him. “I heard y’all been having a hard time here so I thought I’d bring ya some Christmas cheer.”

Ellie immediately started laughing as Joel struggled with the Santa suit. “Joel, you look funny in a fat suit,” she said, laughing out loud at a pillow peeking through his Santa jacket. 

“I haven't heard of no Joel before, I'm Santa.” He said, with a husky voice.

“So what happened to Joel? Did ya kill him when you landed your fat ass on top of him with your sleigh? Crushed him didn't you? It's ok, he probably deserved it. Killed by an old worn out fat guy with no fashion sense. Better than a clicker really, ya know.” Ellie said, laughing.

“Ok, look here wiseass, I ain't no old fat guy.” Joel said, grumbling to himself in his regular voice.

“Well you look ridiculous dressed like that.” Ellie said, doubling over and laughing hard again. You were rolling on the floor with a pillow over your mouth laughing at Joel and Ellie bantering again. You didn't know why, but seeing these two go at each other warmed your heart in a way that you never knew.

When Joel looked over at you he said “You stop your laughin’ over there” as he pulled the pillow out from his stomach and sat down with a huff on the couch. “Got no respect from the younger generation anymore. Ya hear me, no respect. Here I am tryin’ to make your Christmas special and all ya do is laugh at me and-”

“Joel it's ok” Ellie said, interrupting Joel’s little rant.  “We love you anyways Joel, ain’t that right y/n?” Ellie continued, trying to look serious but failing miserably at it.

“Honey, you look amazing and-”

“Both of you just shut it, I know when I'm not loved.” He said, shaking his head and mumbling. “Shouldn't have to give ya both these now, but here ya go.” Joel handed you a small box. “Here ya go wiseass, so you don't feel left out either.” He said, shoving a box in Ellie's hands.

Ellie and you both quieted down and then looked at the little boxes in your hands with a piece of paper folded up over top of them. “Ellie why don't you go first,” you said, wanting her to enjoy the gift.

When Ellie opened the box she found a small seashell bracelet with black thick string with it and the piece of paper was a note that read the following:

My dearest Ellie,

I know I ain't your father, but over the past year you've grown so much on me kid. Ya got that sassy, smartass mouth on ya, and ya got a horrible attitude to boot. But you're strong kid, so strong. And you remind me of what my daughter Sarah was like, but so much more. I know your favorite thing is the Sea and one day I promise I’ll take ya there, and build those sandcastles with you, as tall as me. I love ya kid, like you were my own little baby girl. I wear a copy of your bracelet as a symbol of my love for ya honey. 

Forever, my love for you child, Joel (or Dad if ya want)

After Ellie was done reading the note out loud, you found that you both were crying. Ellie immediately ran over to Joel, hugged him tight, crying into his shoulder saying, “you better fucking mean it. Swear to God you mean this Joel, and don't lie to me.”

“Baby girl, I swear to God everything in that note is true. I love ya like you’re my own honey, like you’re my true daughter cause ya are.” Joel then held Ellie, kissing the top of her head as she cried into his shoulder, this time her tears were tears of joy.  Ellie got her Christmas wish after all, a family, something that she has never had ever in her life.  

After a moment of them holding each other, they pulled apart and both looked at you. It was now your turn to read the note and to open the gift from Joel. You hands were shaking and you were panicking. You wanted more than anything for someone to love you, a man, with no strings attached.  You were scared of what you were going to read in the note.  But with a shaky breath, you opened your note and read it out loud.

Y/n,

The first time I laid eyes on you it was in the QZ and I thought that I had finally died and had gone to Heaven. My heart stopped in my chest darlin’, and I became nervous, still am when I look at ya. I remember thinkin’ that you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and baby, you still are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 

The first time I kissed you, I was a goner. Forever to be the only woman that I’d ever want in life again. I used to be so angry, not because I didn’t want ya, but because I thought that I couldn't do any of this right. I couldn't date you properly, marry you, or even have babies with you the way that I’ve wanted to. And baby, I was so angry, I was angry because you deserve all of that from the world, and so much more. But then I realized somethin’, you and Ellie were sent from Heaven above, from my Sarah to help me now. For me to love and be loved once again.

I prayed honey, I prayed so hard for so many years, wanting to see my little girl again that was taken from me. And I don't know how or why, but somehow she sent me you two. And God, if I don't now have something worth fightin’ for. You and Ellie make this life bearable, make me want to live again. And truthfully, I'd be lost without ya both.

Now I know I ain't always good with my words, or tellin’ ya how I feel. But Angel, you mean everything t’me. Now open your gift honey, and let me tell you with the words myself.

You turned to Joel with tears in your eyes and trembling fingers while he gently coaxed you to open your gift.  “Go on darlin', open it.” he said, ever so gently. When you opened your gift you gasped out loud. Inside the box was a ring, a birthstone ring for June, your birth month. You looked shocked at Joel when you saw it. He motioned for you to give him the ring. 

With the ring in his hand he then reached out and held your hands, looking you in the eyes saying, “you mean everything t’me y/n and so much more. If you'll have me, I want you to wear this on a specific finger baby.”

Joel slowly took your left ring finger in his hand while holding the ring in his right hand. “I found this in a jewelry box in that other cabin and I thought Sarah must be telling me somethin’. I know it's not the proper one, but hell, nothin' is proper anymore. I promise if we ever get back to civilization again, I'll do this right. I swear it baby. Please be mine. Forever.”

You looked at the ring that Joel was holding, confusion washing over your face for a moment, not understanding what he was meaning. Joel looked over to Ellie and she smiled, understanding what was happening and gently said to Joel “dad, it’s time to tell mom what you told me in secret before.”

Joel nodded and took a breath to steady his nerves as he looked into your eyes.  When he stared into your eyes he saw your hesitation. Not because you didn't want what he felt, but because you did and you were so scared that he didn't feel the same way. So with renewed confidence he said “I promise I'll do this right later if we can. But y/n-” and then he felt it, the pain searing tight in his chest at the thought of losing this, of losing you. It gripped him so hard, and tried to swallow him whole at the thought that he couldn't keep you safe. He was scared, and frightened at the thought of losing you or Ellie like he did Sarah. But this time as the pain consumed him, his thoughts drifted to Sarah. Sarah knew that her father loved her with everything, even as he held her when she died. 

Joel remembered the night that Sarah was conceived. The way he and Sarah's mom desperately moved in unison together, trying to grab onto something for stability in a world that they felt was falling apart. He never connected with Sarah's mom again after that, it was only on that one night when she was created. It was like the world, the universe, told him that he needed to be a father at a younger age. He felt like that was the reason why his first marriage with Sarah’s mom failed. That they never were truly in love, except for where Sarah was concerned. But now things were different, especially with you. Joel was in love with you in a way that he's never been with a woman before. So with a smile and a chuckle he shook his head, finally finding the strength that he needed, to be able to say the next part out loud.

“Woman, you drive me nuts and make me feel things I, at my age, didn't think I deserved to feel anymore. I used to think you were sent here to torture me, make me pay for all of my sins. But then I saw what it was. That Sarah sent you to me because she had heard my darkest fears, my biggest dreams, and my silent pleas in the night. That I didn’t want to be lonely, that I wanted a family once again.  And that I wanted a woman to love me so bad that it hurt, and not because I forced her, but because she wanted to. And baby, I got you and now you got me. Sarah sent me you and Ellie so I could be happy and not be so lonely anymore.”

With a shaky breath Joel continued, opening his heart even wider for you to see. “I've made mistakes darlin’, said and done the wrong thing most of the time. Hell, I’ve yelled at you and sometimes have treated you horrible, for that I’m sorry. But I'm scared. I'm scared to lose both you and Ellie. I love that kid over there like I was the one who created her, like she was my own daughter. And I view you as if you were her mother and my-” Joel shook his head, feeling the burn in the back of his throat hit as he struggled to say that he viewed you as his wife. 

“Te Amo Joel. I love you” you said, softly towards Joel while holding his hand. Now that you said it, you hoped that he'd say it back. You just wanted him to say it to you in English, to tell you that he in fact did love you, and not just hint at it anymore. You wanted to hear those three words from him. But you never expected him to say what he was about to with you.

After a moment of looking at you he smiled, while looking down at your hands.  He gently squeezed them to remind himself that you were still here.  Then he looked up into your eyes and said, “Ah hell woman, marry me please? I know it's not conventional, but this ring I got you, it goes on your left ring finger baby and I-. Shit. I-I want you in this life and the next, ok. I promise I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Te amo baby, it means I love you. I love ya woman, so damn much. And I know I don't deserve it but I'm askin’ anyways. Marry me honey, please, make me the happiest man and I promise I’ll-”

It was in that moment that you crashed your lips hard to Joel’s mouth. You wanted to shut up his rambling but also show him that you were so happy.  That was what the feeling was in your chest right now, happiness, something that you didn’t think you could ever feel or again. As you kissed Joel, a million thoughts were running through your head. You never thought he'd say any of this to you ever. But when you looked inside yourself you knew you loved this man more than anything. Yeah sure, he was cold, moody, and a complete ass sometimes. He hasn’t always done or said the right thing, but he has been there and protected you when other people should have but didn’t, or when others had walked away. To you, that meant more than anything, that he’d stay and was truly committed to you.

When you pulled away from the quick kiss you said out loud “yes. Yes Joel. Te amo baby, te amo. I'll marry you.” And with that admission Joel crashed his lips hard onto your mouth. There was nothing gentle about this kiss that he gave you, it was like the flood gates finally opened and Joel gave you his entire heart and soul right here and now. The kiss said everything that the two of you haven't been able to say to each other. That you both needed each other and that you both were there for each other. 

When you gently parted your mouth for a breath, Joel licked into it in a way that a husband claimed his wife. It was heady and needy. Both of you kissed each other fervently, finally allowing the dam to break between you two. You both were lost in the moment, feeling the passion rise up between you that you had forgotten that Ellie was still in the room.  All of a sudden you heard a heavy sigh followed by a smartass teenage girl. 

“Look here assholes, I ain't wantin’ to watch you two fuck, so can you both tone it down for the kid in the room, please. Joel, you promised me we could have more Christmas cookies and then tell more stories. Come on.” Ellie said, exhaling loudly.

Joel pulled away and snapped saying “Ellie, language.” He fully pulled apart from you, placing the ring on your left ring finger, then gave you a chaste kiss on the mouth while whispering, “we'll continue this discussion later baby.” You gently nodded in return.

The three of you then sat around the fire telling funny stories to Ellie about Christmas. Joel told the classic tale of ‘A Christmas Story’ for the first time to Ellie, something that he still remembered by heart as it was Sarah’s favorite Christmas story. Both Ellie and you eventually fell asleep on the floor, heads touching at the top and holding hands as a family as you both looked up at Joel, listening to him tell the story.

Even after knowing you two fell asleep, Joel continued reciting the story until it was done. When he was finished he grabbed blankets from the bedroom and tucked both you and Ellie in. Smiling to himself he laid down on the couch, content at having a family once again. Joel was relieved that his family, even though unconventional, loved him fully in return. As sleep slowly crept up, he found himself turning to one side and staring at the low light of the Christmas tree. This time, it was as if he could see her again yet again, his Sarah, just sitting down and smiling at him. His heart felt full today, something that hadn’t happened since the last Christmas he had with his daughter, about 20 years ago. As Joel slowly drifted off to sleep he swore he heard Sarah say to him ‘Merry Christmas Dad, here's my Christmas wish for you. For you to have a family once again. And always remember, that I love you.’

-End Chapter-

A/N: This one was a heck of a roller coaster to write on so many emotional levels. These three will be back in the future, got some fun things planned for them. Enjoy, and be sure to check out my other series and one shots in my Master list.

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3laze @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel and reader #pedro pascal #joel miller masterlist #joel miller smut #the last of us #joel the last of us #joel x sarah #joel and ellie #my journey to you #joel and sarah #joel tlou #ellie x reader #joel x ellie #joel x female reader #joel x y/n #joel x reader #joel x you #joel x f!reader #tlou #tlou hbo #tlou2 #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fanfic inspo #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou

[sapphos-ode]

Little Cat

Part 9

Larissa Weems part 8 | part 10 | ao3

As promised, here’s the first part of the Harvest Festival! Enjoy <3 I didn’t write this in one sitting last night instead of getting sleep so it’s a little jumpy, soz

TW: there is a panic attack and I do describe it so please be careful if that would trigger you or if you’re sensitive to it. Please take care of yourself x

~

The last two days of the school week sees you feeling a little low - but you do a good job at hiding it, enough for your students and colleagues not to notice. The cause isn't anything that's happened in your life, more so the happenings of other peoples’. Although the facade works on most people, Alice sees through it and like any good friend she’s waltzed into your quarters unannounced. You pay her no mind, not taking your eyes off of the tv - today you had settled on an old Disney Princess classic, ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarves’ to be specific. You’re also halfway through a tub of ice cream, no bowl in sight, just the carton and a trusty teaspoon.

“It’s time for a therapy sesh! Turn that shit off,” Alice declares as she lets the door slam behind her.

You acquiesce and mute the film. She makes a beeline for your cutlery drawer grabbing a dessert spoon before jumping onto the couch next to you, worming her way under the blanket with you.

“Get that big ass spoon away from me and my ice cream,” you growl, giving her a healthy amount of side eye even though you allow her to dig into the ice cream with you.

“There’s nothing wrong with my spoon,”

You let out a half hearted chuckle before resting your head on her shoulder.

“I’m alright. Just soaked in too many emotions this week is all,”

“That’s good to hear but still, talk,”

You glance up at her, an appreciative look in your eyes. You had done a Bachelors with honours in English literature at university alongside a PGDE allowing you to go straight into teaching after graduating. You’re not sure how you secured the post at Nevermore but you did and it was the best thing to happen to you. Your friendship with Alice was a lifeline you didn’t realise you needed, she was only a year your senior but that llittle bit more life experience she had was invaluable. The friendship wasn’t one sided however. You helped her just as much as she helped you. She was less intune with her emotions than you, and when she struggled to name what she was feeling you'd be there to help her figure it out - there were perks to being an empath.

You take a deep inhale, “There’s not much to talk about, a few students are feeling… down, depressed, you name it, and I’ve kinda just absorbed it all,” you poke at the ice cream with your spoon, “also it reminded me of my mum, she was very against me moving here. She wanted me to teach at a local highschool in my hometown.”

You look up at Alice and she nods, silently telling you to continue on.

“I was really excited when I was invited to interview here, and then to actually hear back and be told I was offered the job? Couldn’t have been happier… but when I told my mum she just felt nothing. Bit of a bummer right? Anger would’ve been better than her apathy.” You let out a hollow bark of a laugh, “She could have at least pretended to be happy about it, think that’s why I’m feeling more down than usual,”

Alice nods along to your words, stealing another spoonful of ice cream before speaking, “She’ll come round to it, she’ll just be anxious about you being so far away, you are from Cali after all,”

“True, I have quite literally moved to the other side of the country, but I went to uni a few states over, and she wasn’t like that…” you pause for a moment, “it’s whatever though, besides, I’m going to the Harvest Festival with Larissa tomorrow. Oh!!! I forgot to tell you! I’m so sor- Owww!”

You tear yourself away from her to nurse your arm from where Alice had slapped you. With a mouth full of ice cream she had resorted to giving you a dirty glare.

“I’m sorry!” you whined, “I meant to tell you… promise,” you fall back onto her shoulder.

“I’ll forgive you if you tell me the details, did you ask her?”

“No, she asked me, she was so nervous it was adorable,”

“Y’know, for how much you fawn over her for her confidence and stuff, you call her cute quite a lot, I wouldn’t use that word to describe her, personally.”

“But she is, what would you say instead then?”

“Hot.”

“That’s so true,”

“I think there’s two Principal Weems though, you always talk about this woman who’s so… so Bambi like around you!”

“She hardly talked to me until like recently,”

“Really? She scares me to be honest, she’s so sure of herself and she knows she’s got everyone at her beck and call,”

“Exactly why she’s so hot! But seriously, she only ever talked to me about work, and even then she always kept it super short, like even for a professional conversation…”

“I think she likes you, that’s the only explanation. Why else would someone not talk to you then suddenly act all docile?”

“You’re more delusional than I am,” you scoff.

You turn the volume up a little to ease the quiet. The pair of you watch the movie, making good progress on the ice cream. You have another tub in the freezer which you know you’ll have to bring out eventually.

~

“I only really feel more negative emotions from people, but when Larissa asked me to the festival… I don’t know what I felt from her, but it was like a warm emotion? The closest I could describe it as is love but that would be so out of context for the situation.” you speak over the twelve dwarve’s song from when they’re digging around the mine.

“You do feel happier emotions though, right?”

“Yeah, but usually only when they’re really strong.”

“Hmm, that is odd.”

“Yeah, just remembered that the now,” you leave the conversation at that. Not having the energy to dissect what it could mean.

~

It was well into the night, you and Alice had watched several movies, and now you were watching ‘The Notebook’. You sniffle a little as a few tears drop onto Alice’s t-shirt.

“Are you crying?”

“No!”

~

Alice ended up staying over at yours, as you talk about your deepest fears, it reminds you of the sleepovers you’d have as a teenager. When you were spilling your soul out to people you thought would never leave your life.

You’re thankful for Alice not leaving you with your own thoughts.

~

You stand at your floor length mirror, scrutinising your outfit, you had spent the day organising lessons for the following week and before you knew it, it was time to leave for the Harvest Festival. You finally decide that your clothes would do before tossing on a jacket and scarf, it was getting so cold these days.

“Why did I fuss so much? Don’t even see them under this coat,” you mutter before grabbing your keys and heading to Larissa’s office.

~

You’re a little early to meet Larissa but you were restless, you hadn’t seen her since she had so clumsily asked you to join her, apart from organising times. You knock on the door and wait for her to call you in, her saccharine voice is heard clearly even through the heavy doors. That woman’s power would be the end of you.

“Hey, you ready?,” you say as you poke your head through the threshold before fully entering the room.

You hadn’t really been in Larissa’s office much, the first few weeks she had called you in every now and then to make sure you were settling in okay. The room was overwhelming, as was most of Nevermore. The ceiling was outrageously high, and Larissa always had that fireplace roaring with flames. The room was cast in a darker light but still illuminated enough that you weren’t squinting to see. You look around in awe, taking in the taxidermies bear, and the mirrors on the ceilings. Odd placement but you think nothing of it. Eventually your sights are turned to Larissa, framed by the rich red velvet curtains and grand window. She sat at her desk, laptop open, a heart meltingly tender smile on her lips as she looked at you through her lashes, head downturned just a touch.

“Never been more ready,” she purrs as she rounds her desk and grabs her coat before sauntering over to you. Her eyes never leaving you.

She stops very close to you, so close you can smell her perfume, it was the same earthy citrus scent from last week. And just like it had back then, it had your head spinning.

“I’ll spare you and let you drive this time,”

“You’re too kind to me,” she humours you.

You shake your head at her before placing a hand on the small of her back and usher her to the door. Larissa’s heart flutters at the action.

~

With childlike wonder you soak in the carnival, you loved them and hadn’t had many chances to go to them when you were younger. As you stand in awe at the entrance, flocks of people walking around you, Larissa is too busy looking at you with the same amazement. Studying your profile and committing it to memory, she notices a faint white scar on the corner of your jaw and she wants to know how you got it.

“Shall we?” An angelic voice cuts you free from your thoughts as you look to Larissa.

A little embarrassed at yourself you nod before you feel your stomach cry out. Your cheeks redden as you smile at her apologetically.

“Can we get food first?”

~

You watch Larissa eat, her eyes closed as she relishes the first bite. You can’t help but stare at her, she was so adorable and this felt very domestic.

“You know, I never thought you’d be the kind to enjoy a greasy burger,”

Larissa pauses mid chew, eyes a little wide in confusion. Her cheeks puffed out like a hamster.

“You just seem like you have a fancy palate, you know, like you enjoy those niche foods that are so exclusive and coveted but actually taste like ass,” you continue, leaning your chin on one hand. The other fiddling with the edge of the table as you pick at the worn down wood that was fraying with age.

Larissa swallows her mouthful slowly before speaking, “And what exactly does that mean?”

“Nothing, just one of my observations,” your tone is lighthearted.

“Just one of?” Larissa is intrigued now.

“Mhmm,” you don’t elaborate further as you tuck into your own burger.

Your eyes blow wide as you stare her down. This was a good burger, she was right. As you had perused the food stalls Larissa had talked your ear off about this particular vendor, raving on and on about how she waited for each Festival for it. She gave you a smug smile.

~

With a loud thwack you finally land the third arrow into the bullseye, turns out you were a natural at archery despite never having touched a bow and arrow before now. Well, that may be an exaggeration, this was your fourth attempt at the stall, with Larissa encouraging you from a safe distance behind. Your competitive streak and ego not allowing you to give up until you had won the game. You also had a certain blonde woman to impress. Stakes were high.

You were beaming with joy as you whispered to the man, pointing out what prize you wanted. As he goes to pull it down for you, you look over your shoulder to see Larissa talking to one of the art teachers who had been passing by. With her distracted you were able to thank the man and hide the stuffed toy behind your back. You wait patiently by her side for the conversation to finish.

“Pray tell what your trophy is,” she turns to you, with a proud look in her eyes. Your heart swells and you want her to look at you like that more often.

“More yours than it is mine.” You procure a white stuffed cat and hold it out to her. It’s of a larger size.

The Principal smiles in disbelief as she takes it from your hands, “For me?”

“Why else do you think I kept at that rigged game for so long!” You llink your arm in hers as you wander off into the crowds. Larissa allows herself to be led along as she studies the plush, it was eerily similar to her form as a cat. A horrible feeling forms in her stomach, did you know? Surely not? She decides it's just a coincidence and tucks it into her other arm, allowing herself to feel flattered you had given her a gift. She’d cherish it.

“Have you- ”

“There’s Principal Weems!” Just as you’re about to ask Larissa something, Marilyn has called over, with Alice in tow. She’s waving over at you from another stall.

You and Larissa stop as the duo walks over.

“Perfect!” Marilyn says as she notices you with the Principal, she must not have seen you over all the people. “I finally found someone willing to go through the haunted house with me, but the carts seat four people and I don’t fancy screaming with strangers, and, well, there’s two of you! Come on! The queues not long,” The botany teacher doesn't give you room to argue before she's pulling you, and Larissa who’s still got her arm linked with yours.

You look at Alice who just shrugs, seemingly unbothered by everything, then you look up at Larissa who's started to converse with Marilyn.

You squeeze your eyes shut and take a few controlled breaths.

~

The redhead was right, the queue moved quickly, too quickly. Before you can protest, you’re shoved into the seat with Larissa. You just sit stock still as she comments about how they’ve really outdone themselves with the models this year. You don’t really register what she's saying.Faintly you can hear Alice and Marilyn talking about their favourite rides.

With a juddering move, the cart starts to advance as it takes you through a cheap black curtain. Your hands are clammy and you're visibly trembling in your seat. You’re shrouded in darkness before a light flashes on to reveal an unnervingly realistic skeleton drop from the ceiling right next to you. You can’t conceal the scream as you jerk away from it, bumping into Larissa. Her hands find purchase on your hips as she steadies you, chuckling at you. The skeleton bounces up and down on its elastic string as if it's mocking you. No one else screamed and now you feel oh so silly.

Larissa moves a hand up to your shoulder and it has the opposite effect than she had intended, You shoot away from her, yelling again.

“Babes, save your energy, rides just started,” Alice laughs.

You look at her weakly before you settle back down.

For the first minute or so you manage to contain yourself but the ride ups the ante and it's an onslaught of jumpscares and horrifyingly accurate props paired with the most wretched heart stopping music.

What takes the cake is when the models begin to interact, a mummified hand snaps out from the side to grab onto Marilyn’s shoulder, to which she laughs. She laughs.

It becomes too much, as more and more horror elements start leering into you, you begin to feel a horrible tightness in your chest, phantom hands clawing at your neck, wrapping around slowly. The music is too loud, the dim lighting is somehow too bright and you can hear everyone's breathing. Your clothes seem to be scratching against your skin despite feeling absolutely fine moments ago. A witch’s cackle sounds as cheap sparks are set off all around you. You flinch. Then a fog machine is set into motion, obscuring your sight as steam hisses. The world begins to rock as a cold sweat prickles all over your body.

With a sickening suddenness a grotesque, hyper-realistic cadaver drops down just ahead. A mechanic whirring is heard. It launches towards the cart. Hitting the front before it rises. You shriek in pure unadulterated terror, tearing up your throat as you launch yourself into Larissa’s lap, hiding your face with her shoulder. Your body trembles as she instinctively wraps her arms around you. Your breathing is erratic and she can even feel your heart thrashing against her chest. Your grip on her jacket is iron tight, your knuckles white. You feel stiff and unresponsive to the soothing circles she's rubbing against your back.

A series of plastic spiders suspended on string descend down, drawing the cart and brushing against everyone. Faintly you hear Marilyn and Alice giggle at it. But you tense, and the sensation of the spikey legs sets you over the edge. You press yourself even further into Larissa, as you choke back sobs. Over the music, they can't be heard, but Larissa can feel you jerk with each cry that forces itself out of you.

At this point Alice has caught on, she leans forward and looks between you and Larissa, a pointed look of concern on her face. But Larissa just quietly tells her she has it under control and for Alice to just enjoy the remainder of the ride.

Another cheap shock value scare, and just the noise has you screeching and curling into yourself more.

“Atikah?” She whispers softly into your ear, one hand stroking through your hair, her other arm now wrapped firmly around your waist. But it does little in grounding you.

You only whimper in response.

She feels guilty for not realising you were genuinely terrified.

~

After what feels like an eternity you finally break through another black curtain back into the outside world. The cart stops with a few groans, Alice and Marilyn watch you as Larissa tries to coax you off of her.

“Atikah, it’s over now,”

You move back marginally, letting the noises of the other rides filter back in, it still sounds overwhelming but the eerie music is no longer present.

Larissa eyes the other two, both varying degrees of worried, before leaning in close so she can't be heard, “You’re safe now, I promise,” her warm breath ghosts over your ear.

You take a shuddering breath and extricate yourself from Larissa’s lap, keeping your head down so your hair covers your face. The blonde still keeps a hand on your back as she watches you try calm yourself down with great effort.

Wordlessly you leave the cart and walk off to the side just out of view.

The remaining trio all exchange glances, and Alice is the first to leave, hopping over Marilyn. The other two hot on her heels.

By the time Alice had reached you, you had found a picnic bench and sat staring into the neighbouring forest, counting in your head as you took measured breaths. The tingling feeling in your hands had started to subside but you still shake.

“Hey,”

You don’t tear your gaze away from the trees. Barely registering Alice sitting next to you.

“What happened back there?” She noticed your eyes looking a little red and raw.

Your voice is weak and hoarse as you muster up the strength to speak, “Just, got too much in there, I think,”

Before Alice can reply Marilyn is heard from not too far away, “I’m so sorry Miss. Karnstein! I didn’t know- ”

“It’s fine.” You take a deep breath and wipe the dried tears off of your face, “I’m sorry for ruining it,” you laugh halfheartedly. Giving her a smile, or as much of a smile as you can.

“Don’t be ridiculous, are you okay now?” The English accent that graces your ears helps greatly as you finally begin to feel human again.

You nod slowly, still not making eye contact. It’s one catastrophe after another for you, now that you’ve regained yourself, you’re embarrassed.

“It was fun- ” you start.

“Bitch not for you,”

Alice shirks away at the look the Principal sends her.

You laugh, it's an airy laugh but it’s genuine and it dispels the tension, soon Marilyn’s joining you.

Alice hugs you tight, “I think Principal Weems has got it from here, we’ll leave you be,”

“Yeah, we’ll get out of your hair, enjoy the rest of your date,” Marilyn chirps before heading into the crowd, dragging Alice with her but not before she can send a shit eating grin your way.

You and Larissa are left in shock, both of your faces a delicious red, a charged silence between you. Neither of you look at eachother.

“Our what?” Larissa mutters into the air, head reeling at Marilyn’s cast away comment.

You don't respond immediately. Both of you had heard the botany teacher loud and clear.

“Is it… is it okay if we just sit here a little longer?” you ask meekly, peering up at her.

“We can stay here as long as you need, darling,” Larissa takes a seat next to you.

“Thank you.” You rest your head on her shoulder.

~

You’re not sure how long you sit with the blonde, at some point her arm has found its way around your body again. Another tether helping you banish the last of the nerves. She’s busy admiring the stars. As best she can with the light pollution. To you, the stars have nothing against Larissa.

Fireworks bloom in the sky, you can see their reflection in Larissa’s eyes. In that moment you sit up and press a kiss to the very corner of Larissa’s mouth.

~

AN - I have never cried at a film… I’ve almost cried. But I did cry at the notebook when I watched it aged 15. Also sorry for the downer in this chapter, but I thought it’d be fun to have our dear reader cling to Larissa 🤭

taglist - @weemssapphic @h-doodles @blessmysouljessisonaroll @eveymay @lvinhs @enchantressb @a-queen-and-her-throne

(pls lmk if I forgot to tag you and I’ll have you tagged in future updates, or if you’d like removed)

#larissa weems #larissa weems x reader

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Seven

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, drug use (weed), mentions of alcohol word count: 2.9k a/n: another matt pov bc i felt like it was fitting. lmk what pov you like more and thank u for all the support <3

pov: matt

As we drove to Downs, I kept stealing glances at Layla as she chewed on her tacos. She only asked for tacos but I of course got it for her in a meal with fries as well. Allie was singing along to the songs in the backseat and I glanced in the rearview mirror to see her dancing happily as she ate her fries. I bit my lip, trying to focus on the road instead of the girl beside me.

My mind drifted to when she placed a kiss on my cheek not only during the intermission of the game but also when I was standing outside with her. I didn't expect her to actually do anything, I just wanted to tease her but I wasn't mad that she did. I was cheesing like a 13-year-old boy inside and it drove me insane.

I'd know her for all of a week and I felt like she was consuming all of my thoughts. Every day she didn't come to school, the more I thought about skipping and driving to her house. I didn't want to seem obsessed, that's not something you do when you talk to someone for the first time only a few days prior and I knew that.

I tapped my hand on the wheel along to the beat of the song, looking over at Layla again but this time she made eye contact with me, a mouth full of fries as she sarcastically said, "Take a picture it'll last longer."

"Okay," I responded casually as we happened to pull up to the last set of lights that were red. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a photo of her and she frowned, swallowing the fries.

"Delete that," she deadpanned and I shook my head, locking my phone as the light turned green. We drove down the street and pulled into the parking lot, seeing Nate and Chris were already here eating McDonald's in the car.

"I'm gonna go steal Nate's fries. Be right back!" Allie jumped out of the back seat before I had even put the car in park making me laugh at her as she scurried around the car and jumped into the back of Nate's. I turned the car off, taking my seat belt off and winding down my window so the cold air hit my face

"Matthew," I heard Layla's serious tone and I turned my head to look at her again, "I'm holding your food hostage until you delete that photo."

She picked the bag up off of the floor between her feet, holding it tightly in her arms so I couldn't get my food. I heard Allie and Nate bickering from the car beside us but I didn't bother looking over.

"Why? You said to take a picture," I leaned over, trying to grab the bag but she pulled it closer to her body, leaning away from me slightly.

"I look disgusting," she frowned and I tilted my head at her.

"You didn't even see the photo," I state the obvious as I went to reach for the bag again.

"I don't need to see it. I had a mouth full of fries so of course I look bad," she seemed dead serious but I smiled at her nonetheless.

"You don't look bad," I told her, shaking my head and she huffed, "You look good all the time."

"Well, clearly you haven't seen me when I have just woken up," she rolled her eyes dramatically before throwing the bag in my lap. I let out a grunt when the heavy bag hit my crotch and she pursed her lips, "Oops."

"'Oops' my ass," I joked and she shrugged with a smile, taking another fry into her mouth. I let my eyes linger on her lips for a moment more before I grabbed my food out of the bag. I heard a phone vibrate and I knew it wasn't mine since it was underneath my thigh. As I dug into my phone, I noticed Layla pull her phone out of her pocket and her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the small screen, "Everything okay?"

"Uh..." she trailed off, nodding hesitantly before she locked her phone, "Yeah everything's fine."

"You sure?" I double-checked, now mouth half full of food like she had done moments ago. Instead of responding, she quickly swiped on her phone and I heard the camera click on her phone. I furrowed my eyebrows as she smiled at me, making it hard to stay annoyed at her.

"Now we're even," she shrugged, the smile not leaving her lips as I shook my head. The rest of my teammate's cars pulled into the parking lot, all having their own variants of food and drinks. I was sure Dan was going to bring beer or weed and not to any surprise, he appeared out of the car with both.

"You think it's laced?" Layla spoke up and I looked over to see her staring at the bag of joints Dan was throwing around with not a care in the world.

"Nah Dan's super picky about what he smokes. Went on a whole tangent to me about strains and what they all do. Didn't listen to a word of it though," I told her honestly as she nodded, pursing her lips before she looked over at me.

"You mind if I have some?" she asked and I shrugged, scoffing down the last of my food before taking a sip of my drink, "Slow down there pretty boy. You're gonna choke on that if you're not careful."

"I always eat fast after a game," I admitted and she smiled, shaking her head like she was scolding a child, "You can smoke. Just don't get so high that you can't function."

She sent me a smile before nodding and jumping out of the car. My eyes followed her every move as she walked over to Dan and I saw both of their mouths moving. Moments later, Dan handed her a joint and she used her own lighter to light the end of it.

"You look like a goddamn dog drooling at her like that," I jumped in my seat and turned my head to see Nate standing outside the window of my door.

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of my drink as I slid further down into my seat, my eyes always finding their way back to her, "I'm just making sure Dan won't try anything.

"Why do you care if he does?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face as he leaned his elbows onto the windowsill.

"He's a dick," I mumbled and Nate hummed in response before he chuckled.

"Okay, enough. You look like Joe Goldberg just staring at her from the car," Nate pulled the door open and I turned my head to see him standing there, waiting for me to get out. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone, keys and drink from the car before hopping out and closing the door behind me.

"I'm not a stalker, dude," I grumbled and he chuckled as we began walking towards where everyone was now huddled around Ethan's car.

"You fucking look like one," he jokingly said quietly before we were a part of the group. As soon as we walked over, Layla moved her position between Dan and Ryder to stand between Chris and I. I resisted the urge to look down at her but as everyone talked amongst themselves, I felt her weight shift on her feet so she was leaning towards me.

I swung my arm around her shoulders causing her to lean into me fully. I could tell she was still tense as she continued smoking the joint, making sure to blow the smoke to the ground so as to not let anyone else breathe it in. I wish I could say the same for Dan who was basically directly blowing the smoke in my face.

"Dan," I said sharply catching the attention of his slowly redening eyes, "Quit it."

"What?" he asked, still blowing the smoke in my direction.

"You're blowing it right in my face and I'm like 5 feet away from you," I frowned at him as I felt Layla relax into me further, her tense nature depleting the more she smoked. Dan rolled his eyes before blowing the smoke behind him and I thanked him in my head, not bothering to verbalise it.

I felt her head shift against my shoulder and I looked down at her to see she was already looking up at me, her eyes slightly red and pupils every so faintly dilated.

"You okay?" she asked almost inaudibly and I nodded, smiling down at her before she returned the nod, resuming her head to a straight position to look at every one. She turned her attention to Dan before asking, "Dude, where did you get this from?"

"Some guy named Ray. He's down at South End," Dan explained and I felt Layla tense against me again, "Poor excuse of a house but the shit is good so I go anyway."

Layla just nodded, finishing the rest of the joint before she threw it onto the ground.

"Damn, didn't even think about sharing?" Ethan asked, a playful smile on his lips as he looked at Layla. Dan handed his joint to Ethan before Layla spoke.

"Wouldn't do its job if I let someone else smoke it," Layla shrugged, now placing her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. Ethan raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed as he took a hit of the joint before he looked at me.

"You gonna let loose yet, boss?" he asked, holding the joint out for me and I shook my head, my thumb mindlessly tracing circles over Layla's arm as she relaxed again.

"I'm driving and you know I don't do that shit," I told him and he shrugged.

He took another hit before saying, "More for me."

Ryder grabbed a beer from Dan's car, chugging it in an instant making me cringe at the frat-boy nature of my teammates. I liked them for the most part, they were good at the game and overall decent people but they had the tendencies of total fuckwits and I hated being grouped with their idiotic behaviour.

"I'm tired," Layla mumbled so quietly I almost didn't hear her as I looked down to see her eyes hooded and her body slumped against mine.

"We can sit on the hood?" I asked her quietly and she nodded slowly. I kept my arm around her as we walked through our small ground before I sat myself down on the hood of Ethan's BMW. She sat herself next to me, once again her body leaning towards me as I swung my arm around her.

"Dude, not my new car," Ethan whined and Layla went to stand up but I pulled her against me as I looked at him with a straight face.

"You were just sitting on it," I stated and he rolled his eyes before returning his gaze back to the ground. I had completely checked out of the conversation still, not listening to a word any of them were saying as I felt Layla's warmth radiating off of her body.

I noticed Allie and Chris running around the parking lot, Chris seemingly chasing Allie with something that I couldn't see from the dim lights of the parking lot. I shook my head, smiling at their idiotic actions.

"This is nice," Layla spoke quietly so only I could hear and I looked down at her to see she was still looking ahead.

"What's nice?" I asked her in the same hushed tone, returning my thumb to tracing circles on her arm.

"All of it," she mumbled before she looked up at me, her eyes now very red and pupils dilated even more so, "You're nice."

"You're not too bad yourself, Layls," I smiled down at her and a lazy smile spread across her lips.

"I've never had a nickname. I like it," she nodded like she was a little kid making me chuckle. I never liked being around people when they were high or drunk but she just seemed to be more relaxed, her cold demeanour disappearing by the minute.

"I'll have to keep using it then," I told her and she nodded once again, returning to look ahead of us at my friends, "Is Rockstar still on the table though?"

She laughed and it felt like music to my ears, my smile widening as she shook against me before saying, "You're a fucking idiot."

"At least I'm pretty," I shrugged, an amused look covering my face as she looked up at me with a roll of her eyes, "You said it, not me."

I stared down at her, a small smile still on my lips as her eyes scanned my face before she said, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're the pretty one here," I blurted out without a second thought and I saw a small tint of red cover her face. She moved her to look ahead again as I leaned down, placing my chin on top of her hair.

"Bony ass chin," she mumbled, making me chuckle as I pinched her arm, "Hey!"

"Don't call my chin bony," I said back as my eyes drifted to where Chris was now sitting with Allie in the middle of the parking lot.

"Then don't have a bony chin while putting it on my head," Layla said back and I moved my arm off of her shoulders, sliding it down so it was on her back before I pinched her waist lightly. She sat upright, hitting me in the chest with her right hand, "Stop pinching me!"

"Or what?" I challenged and she stood up, moving to stand in front of me. She moved my right knee so it was slightly further apart from my other as she placed herself between my legs. I felt my breath hitch as she leaned forward.

"Or this," she simply said before she stepped back, holding my phone in her hand that I hadn't even noticed she slid out of the pocket of my hoodie.

"Layls, give me my phone back," I reached to grab it but she moved it further away, "Really?"

"You want it?" she smirked at me as she started walking backwards, "Come get it then, pretty boy."

I stood up from the hood of the car and I placed my drink on the ground before I slid my keys out of my pocket, turning to Nate and placing them on his chest before saying, "Hold these."

He didn't get a chance to respond before Layla bolted down the length of the car park and I quickly ran after her. Her laughter echoed through the parking lot but she made the mistake of slowing down to look behind her at me because her reaction time to seeing how close to her I was, was not fast enough. I grabbed her arm just in time before she could slip away, pulling her chest against mine but she moved her other arm to hide my phone behind her back.

"Can I have my phone back now?" I looked down at her, eyebrows raised as she smiled up at me dopily. She shook her head and I reached around her back to grab it but she was able to contort her arm so it was further away from my hand. I rolled my eyes as I let my hand drop to my side.

She chewed on her lip for a moment, looking in thought as she scanned my face before she moved her arm, sliding it up the bottom of her hoodie. She pulled her hand out again, the phone no longer in it.

"If you want your phone, grab it yourself," she smirked up at me and I groaned, still keeping a grip on her arm but not tight enough to be aggressive.

"I'm not taking my phone out of your bra, Layls," I stated and she shrugged with a smile still on her lips.

"Guess you're not getting your phone back then," she giggled and I shook my head, pursing my lips so a smile didn't slip through at the sound of her joy.

"You're the most stubborn girl I've ever met," I mumbled, trying to keep a straight face as she beamed up at me.

"And you're a pussy. Just grab the phone, Matthew. Not that hard," she challenged and I let my eyes fall closed, debating on whether or not it was a good idea to follow her wishes. The devil on my shoulder got the better of me as I gave in, pulling the hem of her hoodie towards me only to realise she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"You're really making me do this?" I asked and she nodded, looking dead into my eyes as I sighed. My fingers brushed against the warm skin of her stomach, the coldness making goosebumps rise on her skin. I slowly trailed my hand up as she raised her eyebrows, a smirk still on her lips.

I felt my hand touch a fabric that wasn't her hoodie and I hesitated, not being able to see under the sweatshirt to figure out where my phone was. I let out a huff, deciding to just get it over with so it didn't look like I was just feeling her up in the middle of the parking lot. My hand rose to the top of her bra, my fingers running along the top of her boobs before I felt something solid. I felt the rectangular shape and quickly slid the phone out before my hand left her hoodie entirely.

"Good boy," she patted the side of my face before she slid past me, walking back to the group as I stared at the ground in front of me. I tried to regain my consciousness and pull myself together but the feeling of her skin on mine made my hand tingle and my pants tighten. My mind was swirling with thoughts of nothing but her. Her skin, her eyes, her smile, her mind, her voice. God, her voice rang through my ears, "You comin' or what?"

This girl will be the death of me.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo

[fuckthemforthis]

Maribor recap or long rambling, some pics and trying to make sense in my head:

1. Thank you @chibi-chellist again for reaching out, it meant a lot not to be alone! Rambling about the boys is so much better in person and when it's not one-sided. I enjoyed meeting you and sharing experiences! 💕

2. Kaj pa Ester? is one of the cringiest things I've recently seen, especially dialog wise haha BUT it is also funny and kinda cute. Very teenage-y I guess, with too much lots of kissing and parties for which scenes they used some terrible modern cajke music (like use the good old soul ripping ones that don't mention Elon Musk... teenagers today smh). Anyway, I wouldn't mind it being longer and better developed in the emotional areas which you see they scratched but need deepening to give an actual sense of plot and sense to the movie. Could be due to the fact it was supposed to be a show first tho. However, I couldn't see Bojan's personality, mannerisms or gestures so in that sense I feel he did a great job acting 👏

And THE SCENE. Oh boy. Less sad and more frustrated bojerking. Putting shame aside to admit I would love to have it available on demand, especially for some ragged breathing appreciation...

3. Bought and tried Jan's fav cookies, yaay! They're really soft and don't crumble so I approve and will enjoy. I'm sure sentimental reasons are definitely a big part of why he named them as favorite and when I think about it they really suit him but there are better Slovenian cookies like almost any from Težak bakery in Zreče.

4. Half the venue were teenagers or parents with anything between 4 to 12 year olds. I was surrounded. And since I sat a few rows above the backstage entrance, kids all tried reaching for them as they were going off stage and among all the girls there was an 8 (?) year old boy who reached out and Bojan gave him a high-five... and lemme tell you I very much dislike kids but the way that boy turned and excitedly smiled melted my icy heart.

5. Third concert of theirs, third time on Jan's side. And I think Kris somehow knows & takes revenge by not singing NGVOT whenever I'm in the audience 😔

Well Krisko, princess dear, no photos of you 😝

6. Found it adorable how as ASTP was starting, Nace went to drink some water, took his bottle and clinked it against Jure's 🥂

7. Love that Maks was there again, I like the guy. At some point during the concert he was leaning on the fence above me taking pics and I missed half a song watching him work 🙈

8. As I was behind the loudspeakers, I heard Bojan's singing fine, but talking barely because it was often too distorted. What I did hear was him saying we came there for a workout to burn all the cookie calories from the last few days... and boy are you on the wrong track because I came back home with four different packs of cookies 🍪

9. Band dad Niko's daughter was with him watching the concert from next to the stage and he danced with her and it was adorable. The existence of good dads baffles my poor unloved ass...

10. We all know how in the setlist there's a connection between Padam and Demoni because Bojan even sometimes said "and when we fall they come", but I realised the chain starts with Dopamin. First you get a dopamine rush and feel like flying but soon you experience a crash because your body used up all the good stuff and then comes the falling and the demons (and then you go back to someone so the demons would go away but that someone just plays you again - if I wanna extend it to Katrina). Yes it's kind of a concert - post concert sadness - concert rinse&repeat metaphor

11. Janči had problems with his pedalboard for the first two or three songs, he and Kiki spent minutes fiddling with it trying to get it to work. Poor guy can't catch a break.

12. So yeah, the last point is based on Jan being sick, but it's actually about the main reason I like them so much - the connection, love and care they share.

I realised Jan wasn't okay during the concert so Bojan just confirmed it for me. He obviously still slayed, and he went to play at the front a lot, but there were telling moments.

A) When Bojan came to Jan at one point and rubbed his back in a very non performative way, squeezing at his shoulder and whispering something.

B) When Jan plopped down during Padam I thought "not when he usually goes down, is he okay?" and then Bojan leaned down to stroke his hair.

C) The most telling of all, when he sat down during Umazane misli. I kept looking at him, ignoring the left-front-right karaoke. He looked so tired and off, put his head in his hands and then Kiki gave him a bottle of water. When Nace turned around and noticed him like that, he smiled encouragingly and told him it's okay three times (yep they were close enough to read lips) and that's when I was 100% sure something was wrong and he was either feeling off emotionally or sick. He then got up, went to the front, played his ass off and only when he was walking back was it visable again for a moment how empty his expression was.

D) Jure coming to comfort him and cheer him up as soon as he could lift his ass away from those drums, leading him to the front where in the end Jan turned out to be the one stroking Nace's back in a "yeah it's okay" kinda way

E) As they were leaving for the final time, someone gave Jan a wrapped present he looked actually happy about and he threw back a pick but it fell where the person couldn't reach so Nace took over making sure the person gets it.

That's it. They are all utterly beautiful. And anyone who knows me, knows I use that word to describe people first and foremost on the inside. Beautiful.

#joker out #my emotions are still all over the place

[zomb1e-boy]

You Are My Purpose

Joel Miller x TransMasc! reader

Fluff and a tiny bit of angst.

Traveling on the road with Joel and Ellie leaves you and Joel to talk. Not something Joel's a fan of. Takes place in early episode 4. (And thank you to @whiskeybeforesunset for the suggestion!)

The blue n’ white truck door slams, and it stirs you awake. Joel is up and ray of sunshine, like always. He’s a grumpy old man, but you don’t really get mad at him for it. This world has changed people and at least he has some heart. Besides, how can you get mad at him when he looks so good. You rub your eyes trying to get motivated to get up. Sliding out of the truck you see Joel crouching by a weird contraption that's bubbling. Then you look to your left and, you see Ellie covered in Frank's old sleeping bag not wanting to get up yet. You can’t blame her, being a teenager in the apocalypse having to be on the go all the time would suck ass.

“Mornin sunshine.” you say playfully to Joel. Teasing each other was a way you showed care for one another. He doesn’t respond, just grumbles. You walk over to him and crouch next to him and ask, “What is that delicious smell?”. You look at his side profile and admire his face waiting for a response. “Coffee.” He says flatly but, he has a light smirk on his face. Joel’s eyes look so tired and worn. You’ve known him for a good amount of time, he never got super personal with you, but you know he lost his daughter and that was enough for a man to go crazy. You never had kids, not much family, and no partner. You didn’t have a lot to lose before but now…with having Ellie it was different. Having a soft spot for kids did not help when Tess wanted you to go on this mission with them. Even though she’s gone, you honor her everyday by making sure you keep Ellie and Joel safe. 

“Smells like shit.” Ellie says still covered in the sleeping bag. Chuckling you say “You just don’t know what taste is.” Joel nods in agreement. You share a cup of coffee and eat some food before you head on the road. Road trips always made you think. You thought about how you and Joel even met. About 8 years ago he was your smuggler for testosterone,he didn’t understand why you needed it or what it was and frankly he still doesn’t know. Before the outbreak you were trying to get on testosterone but well…the outbreak happened. For a while you gave up trying to get it and gave up on most things. You had no purpose until you found a little QZ. You became one of the best workers and with that you got perks. Perks that let you smuggle things that they wouldn’t want or look for. That’s where Joel came in. You gave him ration cards and he gave you your medicine. Now being rouge you didn’t get to have it anymore, but most of the changes were permanent anyway so you were content. The memories of when you met him and Tess are sweet and a little sour now.

 Ellie and Joel are chit chatting. You are too focused on your thoughts til Ellie pulls out something. “Light on the reading, but it's got some interesting photos.” Your eyes go wide and try your best not to bust out into laughter. “No, no Ellie that ain’t for kids” Joel says slight fear rising in his dark brown eyes. “How the hell can you walk around with that thing!” Ellie exclaims and it makes you lose it. “I wouldn’t know.” you say in and out of laughter not realizing what you said might be confusing. “Get rid of that” Joel demands, holding his hand out to grab it. “Hold your horses I wanna know what all the fuss is about.” she pulls the magazine closer to her, “Why are all these stuck together?” she questions. The fear in Joel's eyes is priceless and you laugh again holding your stomach from how much it hurts. “I’m just fuckin with ya” Ellie says and hits Joel lightly with the magazine.Joel’s faces instantly eases. “Bye bye dude!” she says while throwing the magazine out the window. You calm down and look at yourself in the side mirror and you're all red. “That was a good one Ellie.” you say still slightly chuckling. She looks at you with a snarky smile and nods. You look over at Joel’s flushed and red face. You find it cute of him getting scared he’s gonna have to give Ellie the talk. He was truly an awkward dad at heart and it made you like him, well more than you already did. His curved nose and furrowed brows were hard not to stare at while he was driving. Joel was honestly a good looking guy, and a soft heart despite all the things he did and still does. Joel tells Ellie to get some sleep and she tries to deny it but is out like a light.

“It was funny seeing you lose your stern demeanor to her.” saying as you stare at the long road ahead. He doesn’t respond and just keeps looking at the road. “It’s not easy, kids I mean. They are little humans trying to figure out the world, I can’t imagine how hard it is to be one now.” You say hoping he’d try to talk to you this time. “They are not, when I was a teen I was quite the trouble maker. Tommy and I were horrible all throughout our teens.” He says this with a reminiscing smile. “Did you mean 70 years ago?” you say teasingly. He scoffs, chuckling slightly. “Im only 52 i’m not that old.” he states glancing over at you with soft eyes. “I’ve always wanted kids. I just never thought I would…” you pause trying to figure out how to word it ”that I would be a good dad.” sadness lingers in your voice. “I think you do a fine job with Ellie.” he says with reassurance in his voice. “I thought she was just cargo.” you look at him with a questionable look. “Yea but she’s still just a kid, seems to like having you around.” his tone back to its monotone self. “I think she likes having you around too, you know. Having all of us together on this road trip feels like a little makeshift family. A daughter and her two dads.” you say jokingly but then you see any type of life in his face drain. 

“Joel I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you-” he cuts you off. He looks like he is gonna explode but instead he took a deep breath and asked out of the blue, “Are you like how Bill and Frank were?” You know that’s not what he originally wanted to say but you go with it. “Do you mean gay?” you say, quirking an eyebrow at him. “ I don’t mean-not in a bad way no offense, I've just been curious.” he says desperately trying to avoid eye contact. “Why do you wanna know Miller, you fancy me or somethin?” you say teasing and nudging his arm but, he lets out a dry laugh. “But to answer your question I don’t really label myself but I know what and who i’ve liked if that clears it up.” sincerity is in your tone. You look at him with soft eyes. Joel gets very silent…too silent, the truck is filled with a weird tension. “Joel are…you..y’know like Bill and Frank?” you say lightly not trying to upset him. He takes a deep breath sucking the air through his teeth “I don’t know.” That’s all he says and you don’t push him further.

 Some eerie silence later and he speaks again. “How did you know?” he says almost whispering. “Well, I feel safe, comforted by someone, like I could spend forever with them and not get tired of them. That’s how I know personally, but it could be different for everyone.” His beautiful mostly grey hair was falling into his face, as he furrows a brow, he pushes the hair back. You think of the note Bill left Joel about what it said. “Bill said that Frank was his purpose. That’s how he knew. Someone that didn’t make him only survive but live. I know my purpose.” you say meekly trying not to just scream at Joel to kiss you. “What’s your purpose?” Joel says genuinely confused. You take a deep breath. After everything you have to come clean, that was another thing Tess wanted you to do before she… 

“Joel, you and Ellie are my purpose. You make me want to live. You guys make me scared of dying when I never cared before because I had nothing to lose. I care about you a lot Joel, more than you’re probably comfortable with and I'm so sorr-” before you get to finish your rambling, he interrupts you. “You are my purpose too. Ellie too.” His tone is light but shaky. “So, you did fancy me Miller.” you chuckle as you nudge his arm. He chuckles and shakes his head. You grab the tape ‘Long Long Time' by Linda Ronstadt and pop it into the slot. You lean on Joel’s shoulder and drift off to sleep listening to the song.

….and I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time

#joel the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x male reader #joel miller one shot #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #tlou #joel tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller is a sexy dilf #pedro pascal #trans man

[rorywritesjunk]

I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start

Prequel to my Kid Buggy fic, set about 11-ish years before that story.

Buggy meets you by chance when he needs his buttons sewn back onto his jacket. He’s young, up and coming, and he thinks everyone should cower before him wherever he goes, but all you do is smile at him.

Rating: PG-13ish just for some swearing. Warning: Buggy’s in his early 20s. He’s an asshole. He just is because I wanted to write him loud, demanding, everything. Chapter warning has drinking, a drunk and all over the place Buggy, and Sunny just quietly being "what the fuck". Also it's Buggy's birthday. A/N: I have no idea when Buggy became a Captain, so he’s a fresh faced captain in this. No clue how long this fic will be. I actually have started rewriting it after chapter 5 because I realized I wanted to change some things up.

Title comes from “Wake Me Up” by Avicii.

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @ane5e @kingofthemfingpirates @the-angriest-angel @tiredemomama @valen-yamyam16 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @plethora-of-fickleness @uhnanix

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 + Chapter 16 + Chapter 17 + Chapter 18 + Epilogue

Chapter 6

“I think she’s heartbroken.” Benji said as he and Miss Pins watched you stumble around the shop, looking through stacks of fabric and spools of thread looking for your tailor’s chalk that was tucked up in behind your ear. You had been acting… odd since you told Buggy to leave the shop three weeks ago. You managed to sew a customer’s order to your lap, sewed cuffs inside out on another one, and just now you spent the last hour looking for the blue piece of tailor’s chalk that you tucked behind your ear. 

“Oh?” Miss Pins replied, head resting in her hand as she watched you look through the same stack of fabric again. “You’re a kid, how do you know about heartbreak?”

“I was in love with a girl and she broke my heart.” Benji told her as you finally found the chalk and set it on the table. “We were 12. She told me she wanted someone nicer, which was dumb. I am nice. I just voice my opinions.”

“Well, don’t get hung up on that young romance. Someone else will come around.” The old woman said as you started looking for your scissors next. They were in a cup in front of you along with other tools. “This is really sad. Did she like the idiot that much?”

“I think so.” Benji frowned. “I didn’t like him.”

“Neither did I.” Miss Pins sighed. “So of course Sunny would.”

“Why did she like him?” Benji asked. Miss Pins shrugged.

“She’s always been kind, ever since she showed up here all those years ago.” Your boss replied. “No matter who someone was or how awful they were, she would just be nice to them.”

You finally found the scissors and held them up triumphantly before pausing and staring down at your work. It took you so long to find the tailor’s chalk that you forgot why you needed it and the scissors. You were distracted, half expecting Buggy to come bursting into the shop any moment now with some silly little thing to fix on his jacket, but you were quite firm when you told him to leave that one day, so he must have taken it to heart. You weren’t going to see him again.

Was it fair you got upset because he couldn’t remember your name? But at the same time, the way he reacted was more hurtful. Something stupid like your name. It repeated in your head nonstop and you wished it wouldn’t. He was just so mean about it. Sure, he had been rude and a bit of an ass since you met him, but it was never mean. 

You remembered what you were working on. A customer wanted his jacket to have reinforced stitches in the sleeves but more room in the shoulders to allow him better movement when he used his sword. He had come into the shop and while you even thought he was handsome, you didn’t hide your disappointment that it wasn’t Buggy. Miss Pins gave the job to you and the man paid ahead of time, so you immediately started working. 

Maybe Buggy would show back up.

~

You had been fast asleep until you were woken up by someone yelling outside the shop. You heard your boss shouting from her bedroom window at whoever it was, but you got up to see what was going on. You heard her shout Dammit Buggy! So you headed downstairs to the shop and opened the door. 

Sure enough, Buggy was standing there, glaring upwards at Miss Pins’ window. He swayed where he stood, a bottle clutched in his hand before he raised it up.

“You’re loud too, Miss Pins!” He shot back before shrieking and jumping out of the way. Miss Pins had dumped a cup of water on him. “Hey!”

“Buggy?” You stepped out of the shop and closed the door behind you. His eyes lit up when he saw you and he had a big smile on his face. His face was flushed and he looked so happy to see you.

“Su-Sunny! You’re still here!” He slurred, grinning as he dropped the bottle and threw his arms around you, catching you off guard. “I thought maybe… maybe you left and never wanted to see me again!”

Oh, this was a happy and drunk Buggy. You could smell the alcohol on his breath as well coming off of his clothes. You wondered how much he had already. It was best to send him on his way, to not get involved, but you worried what sort of trouble he would get into if you left him alone, so you called up to your boss’s window that you’d be back later, you wanted to make sure he got back to his ship safely. You picked up the bottle and put your arm around his waist, keeping a firm hold on him to keep him from wandering off.

“‘S my birrrrthday!” He announced as he slung an arm over your shoulder, laughing loudly as you made your way down the road and toward the docks. “I’m… I’m two months… After you. I’m younger.”

“You definitely are.” You mused as you tightened your arm around him. He looked at you with a smirk.

“You’re touching me.” He lifted his arm to have another drink and realized he didn’t have his bottle. “Where-”

“I have it, Buggy.” You told him, holding it up to show him. “No more, okay?”

He looked grumpy until his hand popped off and grabbed it from you, bringing it back to himself. Smirking triumphantly, he raised the bottle to his lips and continued drinking. You weren’t opposed to drinking at all, but you also didn’t want to be around a drunk pirate right now. You wanted to be home and sleeping.

“Which one is your ship?” You asked when you came to the docks. He lowered the bottle and frowned as he looked at them before pointing to one furthest to the right. You hoped he was right as you walked with him to the ship, still keeping a hold on him. Once you dropped him off you’d head back home, but he turned to you with bright and excited eyes.

“Have a drink with me!” He pleaded. “It’s… it’s my birthday.”

“I know it’s your birthday, you told me.” You reminded him. “And I don’t want a drink, Buggy. I need to get home.”

“Please?” He asked as he stopped in his tracks. You kept your arm around him and looked over at him. The happy and bouncy Buggy was gone, replaced with someone different. He looked unsure of himself right then as he asked you, turning his gaze to his feet. You were going to regret this but you sighed and nodded.

“One drink.” You told him, and before you knew it, he was smiling again and taking hold of your hand, leading you up to his ship with his chest puffed out proudly, looking quite happy once more. You followed after him, shaking your head as he led you to what you figured was the captain’s quarters. One drink, that was it, then you’d head home.

He finally finished the bottle and tossed it aside before stumbling over to a cabinet for more. You took a seat on his bed, watching him as he rummaged around before pulling out two glasses and a bottle. He grinned at you, wagging his eyebrows as he brought you a glass and opened the bottle, but you took it from him.

“The birthday boy shouldn’t be pouring his own drink.” You told him as he plopped down beside you. You didn’t trust him to not spill it everywhere so you poured him a glass before your own, setting the bottle out of his immediate reach (which was silly because he could still grab it with his Devil Fruit powers). “Cheers, Buggy.”

He smiled brightly and let his head rest on your shoulder as he gripped his glass tightly. “You’re nice.” 

“I’ve been told that.” You chuckled. “Thanks.” 

“No, no, no, you’re so nice.” He continued gushing. “And… y’know, I’m gonna marry you. You’re so nice, Sunny, and I’m not married, y’know, so we should get married.”

You choked on your drink and set the glass aside, coughing a bit before clearing your throat. Oh, he was so drunk. You reached up to pat his cheek gently. “You’re not going to remember any of this tomorrow, so don’t propose marriage to me yet.”

He tossed his drink back before giving you his glass. You put it beside yours, not wanting to fill it back up. The moment your hand was free he took it in his own, entwining his fingers with yours as he continued his drunken rambles.

“We’ll get married, because you’re so nice to me, and I’ll be so happy.” He continued as he turned to look up at you. “I want to be happy with you, Sunny.”

“Buggy, I want you to be happy too.” You told him. “I don’t know if marrying someone will make you happy, however.”

“Is it because I was an asshole on your birthday? Is… is that why you won’t marry me?” Buggy asked with a frown. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I was mean. I was an asshole. I like you a lot and got scared ‘cause I couldn’t remember your name, and you have a nice name, and I didn’t get you a present.” He suddenly dropped your hand and stood up, marching back over to his cabinet. “Wait, I wanna sh-show you somethin’!”

Oh, Drunk Buggy was just a bit everywhere. Happy, excited, emotional, and apologetic. It was kind of fun to see in a way. He rummaged through the cabinet before hurrying back over to you, tripping over his own feet before falling onto his bed beside you. He held up something and you took it. They were photographs of two young boys, one with a straw hat and red hair, and the other had to be Buggy going by the bright red nose and scowl. 

“That’s me,” He pointed to himself in the photo. “Wasn’t sure if you knew. And that’s Shanks. We… we were best friends on a ship together and then we weren’t.” He frowned. “Haven’t been for a few years.” He sat up on the bed and leaned into you again. “You’re really nice.”

“Thank you for apologizing for my birthday, Buggy.” You told him as you looked through the photos. There weren't many, and they were old, showing their age in their wrinkles and fading color. Buggy certainly was a cute little kid. “I’m sorry I was rude to you.”

He straightened up and put both of his hands on your cheeks, turning your head so you faced him. He glared at you and you wondered what was about to happen, but his gaze suddenly softened and he looked down at his lap, his hands still on your cheeks. “Don’t you ever apologize because you’re perfect and have done nothing wrong ever.”

You put both of your hands on his and moved them off your face. “Buggy, I think you need to go to bed.”

He turned red suddenly and pulled away from you, looking down at his lap as you got to your feet and removed his hat, setting it down on a nearby trunk. You noticed he went quiet but decided not to say anything as you looked for some kind of sleep clothes for him, or did he just sleep in his everyday clothes? When you looked back over at him he was struggling to remove his shirt. You sighed and went to help him get free of it. When you saw his face again, he looked away once more.

“What’s wrong?” You asked as you knelt in front of him to help take his boots off. You didn’t trust him to do it himself, afraid he’d topple over and hit his head. 

“I never… with… with anyone before.” He mumbled as he gestured between the two of you. For a solid minute you stared at him as you tried to process what he was thinking, and when it hit you, your face burned as you set his boots aside. “So um…”

“Neither have I, Buggy, but that’s not what I said.” You told him firmly. “I told you it’s time for bed. For you, not me. You need to get some sleep.”

“Canyoustaythenight?” He blurted out. “Please? I don’t… want to be alone.”

You stared at him for a moment, trying to wrap your mind around this. You didn’t intend for any of this to happen. You were just going to bring him home before going back to your place to crawl into your bed, but he managed to get you to stay for a drink (that you didn’t finish) and now he wanted you to spend the night. 

He was looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered in his world right then. It was a little hard to say no, but you did want to make sure he would be okay, so you removed your own shoes before putting your hands on your hips. “Where are your pajamas?”

He shrugged as he fell back on his bed, stretching out across it. His entire body separated for a moment before snapping back together and honestly, it was momentarily horrifying to see it all happen at once. You needed him to explain this but not when he was drunk. You sighed and nudged him to get under the blankets, which he did, watching you once more with bright, excited eyes as you got into bed beside him. Almost immediately he wrapped himself around you, resting his head against your chest as he closed his eyes and sighed happily. 

“So nice, so soft, warm.” He mumbled quietly. You took the chance to remove his bandana, pleasantly surprised to see how long his hair was. Why did he keep it all hidden? You ran your fingers through it as he made himself comfortable against you. “I don’t wanna be away from you again, please, ‘msorry.”

“Get some sleep, Buggy.” You told him as you pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Okay? No more talking.”

“Imma marry you.” He sighed. You rolled your eyes and wondered what you needed to expect the next morning.

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy x you #opla buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc #sunny x buggy #one piece #one piece oc #one piece fanfiction

[lettersofgold]

-> when i’m not around you, i’m happier than ever | trent alexander arnold blurb

note: this a re-uploaded fic from my previous account of the same name.

"i thought you were supposed to call me," you nearly yelled. it took all of your energy to collect yourself as you let your ex-boyfriend into your place. he mumbled under his breath and you knew it was a smart ass comment. that's all he did, run his mouth and make false promises.

"why would I call? you knew i was coming." trent pushed past you and into the living room his eyes scanning the array of boxes labeled with his name. post break up, you decided that it was time to move. a new place in the city - closer to work and to family and friends. and hopefully into the arms of a man who cares to not put his own ambitions over your relationship.

"i told you to call because I have plans trent," your voice rose, rolling your eyes at his assumptions. you knew he thought you would be sulking and waiting for him. but this was a cycle that was now ending. you'd been back and forth with him for years now and you were tired of guessing whether you were actually a priority or just a good time girl.

"despite what you may think, the world doesn't fucking revolve around you and your schedule." you seethed absolutely tired of being nice. you were over being the biggest person. if anyone needed to grow up it was him. you maneuvered through the mess of your living room and scooped up your small bottle of wine. you don't even drink - that's how bad trent made you feel.

"im not going to listen to you bitch at me so you can leave and I'll lock it up the apartment," his voice filled with venom.

"how convenient that you're here to pick up your shit but couldn't make it when I made plans for us." you yelled back, trying to focus on outlining your lips. the wine and the anger seeping out of you made it twice as difficult.

trent appeared and you jumped out of skin making you drop your liner with a loud groan.

"fuck, trent," you grumbled.

"why are there so many boxes?" he asked. he already knew this answer, you could see it in his eyes. this was the part where you would normally start to feel bad. but why should you feel bad? this was all his own doing. he wasn't entirely running you out of the city but this "breakup" was enough to finally put the wheels in motion for your friend getting you to come to london with her.

"i'm leaving that's why." you turned and fumbled with your liner. there wasn't enough wine to console the feelings and this situation. after unsuccessfully getting yourself back together, you turned to trent and stared.

"i hate this place. i can't go anywhere, without a reminder of you. i cannot live in a city where I'm going to turn into a bitter ex girlfriend or be mad at a fucking 8 year old whose sporting your kit while I'm just trying to buy milk. i hate it and i'm leaving." you voice rose with each word, allowing yourself to finally yell at the boy. you had so much anger pent up.

“you don’t mean that.” he said lowly.

“i do, trent. so just get your stuff and go.”

“wow, alright. fine.” he stalked off.

you said as calmly as you could before focusing on yourself and your makeup. with wobbly hands you finished but it wasn’t a door slam from trent and tears pearling at your eyes

#trent alexander x you #trent alexander arnold blurb #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagine #trent alexander arnold x y/n #football x you #football fanfic #football fic #football one shot #football x reader #lettersofgold blurb