#moving past oh this would be extra sad. what if it was haha funny and absurd instead

[pipbellerophon]

in all aspects of asoue i am for whatever theory i think is funniest

#moving past oh this would be extra sad. what if it was haha funny and absurd instead #asoue #pipbellerophon

[mooshys]

zara employee!AU futakuchi

content: me trying to be funny, retail headcanons

word count: 2.0k

a/n: ah yes, so winter (@/wackatoshi) and I planned out this entire mall universe for the hq boys and it’s the funniest thing to think about. y’all know those rude zara employees at the mall who judge you as soon as you walk in and tell you that “everything’s out on the floor already” when you ask for a size up? and all the racks on the floor are in shambles? that’s what inspired this. not sure if another installment will be added to this, but whatever! for reference, the other employees: oikawa, ennoshita, kuroo, hanamaki.

the worst person to work with... ever

he completely fits the stereotype of zara employee

will go on his lunch break, but “accidentally” forget to clock out, so he’s still earning cash for eating his sandwich in the back. also prolongs his breaks by at least 5 minutes

can never be found when there’s a rush. and by the time they DO find him, the store is completely empty

comes in late, but leaves as soon as his shift ends

never comes to the store on his days off and whenever the managers text him asking if he can pick up a shift he says he’s “busy”

everyone knows it’s a lie. one time ennoshita, the manager, went on his break and saw futakuchi buying a pretzel at the auntie anne's from the mall food court even though he texted ennoshita like thirty minutes ago that he already had important plans for the day. futakuchi made direct eye contact with him as he took a bite into his pretzel, not the least bit apologetic about lying

all his coworkers wonder how he still has this job

spends most of his shift complaining about working than actually working

when people ask if there are any other sizes in the back, he’ll go to the storage room, play on his phone for 5 minutes, and then walk out to the customer and tell them that they're out of stock

will say he’s doing go-backs, but in reality he’s just walking around the store in circles to avoid work

when he’s REALLY annoyed he sometimes won’t even wear his name tag on the floor so the customers don’t know if he works there and will leave him alone

doesn’t even try to hide how disgruntled he is with work, will literally say “I hate this job” loud enough for customers to hear when he’s shit talking with oikawa behind the register. does loud audible sighs when a customer comes up to check out if he’s in the middle of telling a story

awful at folding the clothes. he might as well just compress all the shirts into a ball and toss them into the bag instead

DESPISES CLOSING WITH A PASSION. he hates staying back even five minutes to pick clothes off from the ground. will literally curse that the company is so inconsiderate of his time even though he clocked in late to his shift...

if you’re on shift with him be prepared to do all the work... go see a chiropractor cuz you’ll basically be carrying him on your back the whole time!

he also finds the most creative ways to get others to do his work for him. his usual victim is hanamaki. he’ll go up to him and say “hey, do you mind folding up all the shirts in zone B for me? ennoshita asked me to organize the back since we’re doing new promos tomorrow” and hanamaki’s so clueless and goes “yeah! sure dude, I got it!”

futakuchi doesn’t organize in the back, he hides behind all the boxes while crouched down on his phone for about twenty minutes before going out on the floor again

someone save hanamaki he’s literally doing futakuchi’s work for him... poor boy needs a RAISE

you actually don’t work at the store futakuchi works at, you’re a part timer at another nearby store

during the holiday season the zara futakuchi works at gets super busy and you take a few extra shifts there to help out

you and futakuchi have an... interesting relationship

first thing you say when you see him during the holiday season: “you haven’t been fired yet?”

he’s rolling his eyes going “oh haha. very funny. saw you were at the bottom of sales last week. that’s probably why you’re always getting transferred here, huh.”

you two are constantly snapping back at each other, even when you’re ringing other people up at the registers. the customers are standing there awkwardly as you two scan and passive aggressively insult each other

it’s so weird, like you two are so mean to each other, but at the same time you’re both practically attached to the hip during your shifts together

futakuchi is more... punctual during the holiday season and even takes a COUPLE EXTRA SHIFTS which floors ennoshita (he’s so moved, he thinks futakuchi has had a change of heart and is trying to improve his work ethic... buddy that’s not it, I’m so sorry)

every time you clock in, futakuchi is there too and you’re going. oh great. not this guy again. it’s like clockwork, as soon as your shift starts, you’re at each others’ neck

when you diss the way he folds clothes, he’s scrutinizing your high pitched customer service voice

at first the other guys are laughing at what’s going on between you two and they’re thinking you two are Mortal Enemies For Life

but then they start noticing little by little that your relationship with futakuchi isn’t like that at all

when you’re scolding futakuchi with his awful folding, you take the time to show him all the steps to make a clean display free of wrinkles. he’s standing next to you trying to imitate the way your hands work on the fabric. he adds in a few snarky comments here and there, but you hush him as you’re giving instructions

and when you’ve got a huge rack of clothes from the dressing room that need to go back on the floor, futakuchi offers to help you put them away. he’ll say “ennoshita told me to help out” and you brush it off, but he’s actually lying. he’s helping you on his own accord

he has his asshole persona to keep up with, so he’s still sliding in snide remarks, but you’re so used to it and can keep up with him that he’s always on his toes. he likes this back and forth with you

one day, kuroo starts talking about you with futakuchi to get the 411 on what’s going on between you two. futakuchi denies it all until kuroo starts teasing him by saying he’ll ask you on a date. that’s when futakuchi’s going. wait what

“yeah, there’s a nice restaurant about ten minutes from here and I think going there on a date would really—”

futakuchi starts internally freaking out. he’s going “oh. a date. at a nice italian restaurant near here. wow.”

and kuroo’s got a nice lopsided grin because HE KNOWS and he’s still egging him on

that’s when it finally hits futakuchi. he... he likes you. He Likes You A Lot

the tips of his ears start turning red at this sudden revelation

and upon seeing this kuroo’s like "Alright bud, I was just messing with you. But if you don’t ask her out on a date then I sure as hell will!"

futakuchi’s going alright man give me like a week

Bro futakuchi is even MEANER to you than he was before because he Likes you and Doesn’t Know How To Deal With His Feelings since he’s got the emotional capacity of a grade schooler

futakuchi: wow. that blouse you’re wearing. it suits you.

you: really? thank you I think the color—

futakuchi: yeah. it’s ugly. like you.

you: ...

kuroo’s watching the exchange from the register completely horrified. he’s like. what have I done. futakuchi whips his head over with pleading eyes when you tell him to shove it and kuroo’s shaking his head thinking “I never should have gotten involved”

he’s in too deep already and when you leave the floor to help ennoshita with the stockroom, kuroo has another one-on-one with futakuchi. he tells him the basics like “Don’t call the person you like Ugly”

“well what else am I supposed to say”

truly a lost cause...

it’s like talking to a wall with futakuchi. kuroo’s telling him to be polite and sweet to you and futakuchi’s nodding his head in understanding, but as soon as he’s within a 3ft radius near you his brain is thinking “insult them for attention” kuroo’s like DUDE. WHAT DID I SAY.

this sad exchange goes on for a week and by then kuroo’s like. I give up on you. I can’t deal with this and the holiday rush. he’s waving up the white flag

futakuchi’s been kinda meaner to you than before, so you start ignoring him a bit and he’s getting so frustrated with himself that he doesn’t even know what to do and kuroo notices you two not talking AT ALL during a shift and he’s like. Futakuchi. Just Confess Already. Jesus.

futakuchi wishes he never realized he likes you because he wants to go back to those work days when you two would be Kinda Cheeky towards each other and everything was lax

the confession happens when ennoshita assigns you and futakuchi to work on orders in the back room. at first, futakuchi was trying to find hanamaki to do the work for him, but was promptly dragged by ennoshita to the back. there was no getting out of this

when he saunters on in, he sees you’re already printing out the shipping labels and folding up boxes and it’s silent, your back is facing him and he can definitely feel something is wrong

you saw him searching for hanamaki on the floor and it hurt your feelings because were you that insufferable to work with?

there’s silence between you two and then you break it and tell him that he can go back on the floor if he doesn’t want to work with you

and he can sense the hurt in your voice and he’s like... no, no, no that isn’t it

you’re shaking your head and saying “look, I get it. I get on your nerves. I could tell from this past week and you avoiding me. sorry if I did anything wrong... you can grab hanamaki and we’ll finish these orders while you work in the front”

now futakuchi is internally screaming NONONONONO in his mind because YOU’RE not annoying him at all he’s just a complete dummy who doesn’t know how to deal with his own emotions and now you’re on the verge of crying as you fold some shirts with tissue paper

it’s now or never

futakuchi blurts out that he Really Likes You

at first you think he’s joking and you’re going “Are you serious right now? I’m literally crying and you think NOW is the time to do some fake middle school confession? you’re sick”

POOR GUY HE’S LIKE “NO I REALLY MEAN THAT I LIKE YOU... A LOT...”

he’s right next to you now and grabs onto your shoulders so you can get a good look at his face. his eyes are all business as he confesses again

you’ve got your hand over your mouth and it hits you

futakuchi being Extra Mean to you is his way of showing affection...

now you’re throwing your head back in laughter because he’s so dumb. he’s tall and handsome and too cheeky for his own good, but he’s also like an elementary school kid realizing he’s got his first ever crush and he has absolutely No Idea how to Deal With It

after you’re done laughing, you lightly hit him on the chest and throw in a few lighthearted insults before you hug him as tight as you can. he returns the favor by wrapping his arms around you, practically engulfing you

he’s thinking wow. this is nice. he’s keeping his mouth clamped shut to avoid ruining the moment, but he’s totally digging the way you fit perfectly in his arms

when you pull away you notice his face is red all over and now you’re cracking up and calling him tomato head

and at this, he’s pointing at your running mascara and is like “sure I look like a tomato, but you’re looking like a reject Joker with all that smudged makeup”

now you two are fighting in the back, but in a more loving manner

as soon as you both clock out for the night, futakuchi takes you to the nice italian restaurant nearby. the one kuroo mentioned about a week beforehand

it’s the perfect place for a first date

(he’s too prideful to thank kuroo, but what he instead does is send a selfie with you in the picture + the food during the first date. kuroo’s slow clapping it out. he knew the little asshole could do it.)

#futakuchi #futakuchi keiji #futakuchi headcanons #futakuchi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu ff #futakuchi hcs #hq headcanons #hq hcs #moosh hcs #futakuchi x you #I HATE TAGGIGNAISGNISGNSJG #I haven't been in a zara for over a year and I'm proud of that

[whydoyouwantmyname]

Imagine Being Sirius’s Daughter (Part Four)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

-The last day of Summer break you asked Remus if it was okay that you went to Hogwarts, which he at first wasn’t sure if he wanted to agree to, but he could see in your eyes that you weren’t going to let it go.

-When you arrived he thought you were going to go straight to Dumbledore’s office, so imagine his surprise when he saw you start towards the dungeons. He decided to go to Dumbledore’s office, knowing that he was not wanted where you were going.

-You lightly knocked on Snape’s office door, to which his nasally, groaning tone leaked through the wooden door, “Come in.”

-When he saw it was you, he looked disappointed, “Miss Black, I was unaware the moon would be full tonight.”

“It’s not, I just wanted to come talk.”

“About? If it is regards to the grade the Weasley boys received last term, it is too late to change.”

“No, it is about him.” Snape looked away, he never imagined the daughter of one of his bullies would ever come to discuss the Potter boy with him.

“My father tells me that you used to be close with my Aunt Lily, that was until she started dating Uncle Prong.” You stated, not revealing the real reason, since you were sure that Snape regretted calling Lily a mudblood, “Harry is starting school tomorrow.”

“I am aware.” Snape hissed

“Are you okay?” You asked, as he lifted his head towards you again, “I mean this is the son of the woman you love.”

“Yes, and you are the child of the man who killed them. Now your spineless father might not have been the one holding the wand that stopped Lily’s heart, but he might as well have.” He hissed, advancing towards you, “You want to know why I have never liked you Miss Black, it isn’t because of how your father treated me, or how I was the test subject for your uncle Prong, or that I lost your aunt Lily. Oh no foolish girl it is because you act just like your father, reckless, pompous, ignorant... I am shocked your friends haven’t figured out you will probably turn on them just as fast as your father did. I can’t stand the sight of you because when I look at you, I see the man who turned on the Potter’s, who told the Dark Lord exactly where they were to kill them.” Snape was in your face now, his hook nose close to yours as he hissed, “Now get out.”

-You left immediately, tears brimming your eyes as you hurried towards Dumbledore’s office. When you got there Remus looked towards you immediately, and saw the sorrow in your eyes. His long legs carried him quickly towards you, before engulfing you in his arms, and pulling you into his chest. Your voice barely auditable as you muttered, “I would like to drop Potions.”

-Later that night you went to Hagrid’s, figuring he wouldn’t be there, cause it was dinner time for a certain three headed dog that Hagrid had been hiding in the forest for several years. You loved Fluffy, and normally when Hagrid would go to feed him you would tag along. So when you opened the door to see Hagrid standing at the fire you couldn’t help but raise some questions.

-He told you the bare minimum, he wasn’t able to reveal much to you, at the request of Dumbledore. But he told you that Fluffy was guarding something for Dumbledore, and that no matter what, you couldn’t bring up the fact that you knew about Fluffy, or the music. You agreed.

-The day you were supposed to get on the train, you woke up early and made Remus breakfast. Eggs Benedict, sausage, bacon, and strawberries lined the kitchen table as you pours some orange juice into the clear glass cups, the pot of coffee brewing. You knew that today was going to be hard, since Remus never liked saying goodbye to you, but today was going to be extra difficult, for both of you.

-While you cooked you had no idea how you would react to seeing the boy you were supposed to grow up with. The last time you had seen Harry was Halloween in 1981, when you were two. You also wondered how Remus would react, I mean this was the boy that should have also been calling him Uncle Mooney, the son of his best friends who were violently taken from the world too young. You couldn’t imagine the pain he would feel.

-When he awoke, and trudged into the kitchen he yawned, “You’re up early.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Excited to start your third year?” He joked as you turned your head slightly, “Course I am.”

“Do you remember what classes you chose?” He joked, already knowing that when you filled out the list you made sure to pick classes that you knew the Weasley would take.

“Yes Uncle Mooney.” You smiled, before taking his empty plate and serving up the freshly cooked breakfast.

-You both ate in silence, before Remus cleared his throat, “Have you heard from your dad in a while?”

“Not since June.” You muttered, “You?”

“No, he hasn’t written me in a while Love.”

-When you were finished you loaded the dishes into the sink, ready to clean them, however Remus stopped you, “I’ll do those later my Love, do you have your trunk packed?”

“Course I do, triple checked it last night.” You smiled as you looked towards him, ready to face the world.

“Good, better grab it then, would hate for you to be late, cause than who will entertain the boys?”

“Lee can handle it, I promise.”

“sure he can.”

- When you and Remus arrived on the platform you immediately looked around for Lee, Fred, and George, however you saw none of them. You turned towards Remus, ready to tell him you would stay with him and wait, but when you turned you saw he was scanning the platform as well. You knew it wasn’t for your friends however.

-When you finally caught sight of the Twins they had just run through the barrier, and went racing towards you, the two leaving their carts to hug you. However before you could say a word you saw a face you hadn’t seen in almost 10 years. His hair was shaggy, and a dark, chocolate brown, his skin was fair, his body was engulfed in clothes clearly too large for him, which caused him to look as though he was lean and tall. He was looking around the platform in wonder, a snow owl sitting atop his trunk, as his broken frames hung from his nose. You could see the shimmer of his green eyes, your Aunt’s eyes, but if it wasn’t for those eyes you would have sworn you were looking at the face of your Uncle Prongs.

-Your eyes immediately watered, but that didn’t stop you from turning to look at your Uncle Mooney, his own eyes transfixed on him, as a tear freely fell down his face. You broke away from the twins without a word, and hugged Remus, who was looking at Harry Potter as though he was an old friend.

-When Remus got to the car, he shut the door, and immediately broke down. The tears flowing like a river as he beat the steering wheel and screamed. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Harry didn’t get to have his parents, it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t grow up with you, it wasn’t fair that he was dressed in hand-me-down clothes and his glasses were broken, it wasn’t fair that he looked like he hadn’t eaten a decent meal in 10 years, It wasn’t fair that Dumbledore didn’t just give Harry to him like he had you. It wasn’t fair that he lost his best friends, it wasn’t fair that his best friend killed them, it wasn’t fair… None of it was fair. As Remus screamed into the empty void of the car his tears were falling faster and faster at the thought of how unfair life had been for both Harry Potter and [Y/N] Black. 

-When he finally drove home, he dragged his feet into the eerily quiet cabin, the room was dark, and cold. He slowly advanced towards the armchair and sunk into it, and let his thoughts consume him.

-When you boarded the train you couldn’t find Lee, so you and Fred snagged an empty booth while George went to find him. As soon as the door was closed though Fred looked at you, “Why do you look spooked?”

“Huh?” You looked towards him

“Well you took one look at that kid who went through the barrier with us, and your whole demeanor changed, and now you just look sad.”

“Remember when Uncle Remus was telling us stories last summer about my dad, and Uncle James?”

“Yeah, they both were bloody brilliant.” Fred smiled as you looked into his eyes, noticing as well the smallest smudge of dirt on his nose, “Well that was my Uncle Jame’s son. We haven’t seen him since he was 1, and honestly I doubt he even remembers us. Seeing him was like looking at my Uncle James again.”

-Later when George returned he sat down in amazement, “Lee is hanging out with the cool kids, but you’re never gonna guess what Ronny just told me?”

“What?” Fred replied, but you already had a feeling what the news was gonna be.

“That kid that ran into the barrier after us, that’s Harry Potter, the Harry Potter.”

“Wicked.” Fred smiled, however his eyes then grew large as he looked towards you, your head turned towards the window.

-When you were all getting off, Fred and George looked over at Lee and stuck their tongues out at him, causing you to smile slightly.

-At the feast Lee slid into the spot next to George, which of course led to a series of teasing, “Oh look who decided to join the big boys again?” George teased

“Who are you again, Levi, Jason, Kevin?” Fred taunted

“Oh what Lee, did the girls turn you down?” You asked with a smile as Lee rolled his eyes, expecting nothing less then that from the group of you.

“Haha very funny guys, and for your information [Y/N], Angelina actually agreed to go to Hogsmade with me on our first trip.”

-The boys immediately started to chatter about the prospect of Lee making moves on Angelina, but your attention was pulled away by the doors of the great hall swinging open. As always a hoard of 11 year olds filed into the great hall, McGonagall leading them towards the hat that would decide their house. As the pack pasted your eyes were searching for one little boy, but instead you found Ron, who wasted no time waving at you and the boys as he passed. Waving back though you saw the boy beside him, and watched as he continued to walk away, as you did, you caught the eyes of Snape, his own eyes glued to the boy whose face would remind him of yet another one of his childhood tormentors.

-As they called the children one by one you couldn’t help but chuckle at Fred and George’s banter, “Imagine if Ronnie gets put in Slytherin, Mum would have a heart attack.”

“I don’t think he would ever be cut out for Slytherin, honestly with how much he eats, he will probably be a Hufflepuff, that way he is closer to the kitchen.”

-Before you could add your two cents into the topic, you heard his name, “Ronald Weasley.”

You watched the small ginger boy approaching the stool, and as he went to sit down you shot him a reassuring smile, knowing there was only house where the Weasley Family belonged. The hat didn’t even touch his ginger hairs before it screamed out, “Gryffindor!”, causing your whole friend group to erupt into cheers, as George and Lee scooted over to make room for the newest lion.

-After a few more minutes you heard his name, a hush overtook the hall as some whispered, “The Harry Potter?”

-As he approached the stool, Dumbledore’s eyes found yours, your frame leaning forward as you waited for the hat to speak, praying he would go anywhere but Slytherin. You had no idea that Dumbledore was even watching how you reacted, knowing that you wanted nothing more then for him to be in Gryffindor, that way you could finally get to know the boy whom was supposed to practically be your cousin.

-Fred’s hand slipped to your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, he was the only one who knew how much the hat’s words would affect you. He was praying that he got gryffindor, that way it was easier for you to befriend him.

-When the hat screamed out Gryffindor, you and the boys all rose to your feet, along with the rest of the table, and cheered. Your cheer was by far the loudest. The small boy made his way towards you, and plopped right next to you, across from Ron, and the guys leaning around you to clap him on the shoulder.

-Once the sorting was over, and the food had appeared you all began introducing yourselves to the first years. George of course lead the introductions, “So this is Lee, the charmer who has the loudest voice, I’m George, The handsome twin, this is Fred, the slightly less handsome twin, and that’s [Y/N], she is basically our mum.”

“Mum would be pissed if she heard that.” Ron replied, as he stuffed his mouth with mashed potatoes, causing you to smile, “No Ronnie, she would absolutely agree.”

-You couldn’t help but look at Harry out of the corner of your eye as you all chattered at the feast table.

-That night when Percy took all the first years to the common room, you stayed at the table with the boys, just chatting and catching up. That was until Professor Dumbledore appeared behind George and Lee, his eyes on you as you looked up from Lee’s story and made eye contact with the headmaster. “Miss Black, a word?”

“Course headmaster.” You replied, quickly swinging out of the table before watching him go back down the aisle towards the facility table, your motions matching his in the opposite aisle until you both met at the end, without even a look he made his way towards the hidden chamber hidden underneath the Great Hall, the floor littered in the many treasures of Hogwarts, fully carpeted, the fire roaring as McGonagall slowly rose from the chair placed infront of the fire.

“Minerva, Albus, what if the meaning of this?” You asked, eyebrow arched as Dumbledore took a soft breath, “Your uncle informed me your first year that you were in corespondences with your father.”

“Firstly, the people I am in contact with is no importance to you, and secondly, why are you choosing now to make this a topic of conversation?”

-He was quiet for a second, his long finger going to his half moon spectacles to push them farther up his crooked nose, before he turned his head to look at McGonagall. However just by the expression on both of their faces you knew.

“You think I am going to tell him about Harry...” you whispered.

“We are just concerned for the boy [Y/N]. You have seen the state of the boy, and I have seen his family, they are horrid muggles. We don’t want him to deal with a harder life then he already has, and many death eaters would love to...” McGonagall started, however you were quick to cut her off.

“Then you shouldn’t have ever let him go to them, you should have sent him straight to us, Remus was one of the Potter’s best friends, and in the event of my father being wrongly accused...”

“James and Lily stated they didn’t want to send him to Mooney!” Dumbledore’s voice was raised as your eyes grew in frustration, “They specifically stated if something were to happen to them, if Harry was in need of rehoming... he was to go to either your father, or his Aunt Petunia. Seeing how your father was unable to care for him, we respected the Potter’s wishes and sent him to live with Lily’s sister.”

“Yet he was good enough to raise me?” You snapped.

“It was what your father would have wan...”

“What my father wanted.” You interrupted him with a chuckle, “What my father wanted was to raise his own daughter, for someone to defend him when he was framed for murdering his friends, yet None of you saved him from Azkaban. So do not tell me about what my father wanted Albus.”

-A pause lingered in the air after your words slipped from your lips, your blood boiling as you hissed, “I didn’t plan on telling my father a word anyway, so if you will excuse me, I would like to go back to my common room?”

“You are dismissed Miss Black.” Dumbledore’s voice was soft as you stormed from the hidden room and into the Great Hall, not even stopping to talk to the boys, who all turned to see you leave when they saw Fred perk up.

-When the grand doors slammed behind you, Lee mumbled, “What do you think they said to piss her off so badly?”

-He got no reply, because as soon as the door slammed both Weasley boys were up, and hurrying towards the door themselves, hoping you hadn’t gotten too far.

-They saw you on the stairs, you were almost to the Fat Lady when George called out, “[Y/N]!” This caused you to stop your ascension up the stairs, your hand gripping the railing as they also stopped, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just.... I’m just tired.”

“Bullshit, we know when you’re lying [Y/N].” Fred replied as you gave a dry chuckle, “Nothing gets past you two does it?”

“Nope, we figured after all this time you would have figured that out by now.” George replied, as you slowly turned, your eyes red and glassy as the tears threatened to fall, causing George and Fred to Easter no time bolting up the stairs, and almost tackling you onto the steps as they hugged you.

-They sat in the common room with you, they got the small table you all always sat at and pulled out the Wizard Chess board. George looked at you and smiled, “Ready to lose Black?”

“In your dreams Georgie.” You forced a smile, as Fred looked between the two of you, a smile on his face as you moved your pawn to D4.

-Each twin took a turn playing you, and acted baffled when you won. However you knew they were letting you win, cause when it came to games the Weasley Twin sometimes went for blood.

-After you played both twins once, you looked at them, “So now you and George are gonna destroy each other.”

“Bullshit, I want a rematch.” George barked, playfully pushing Fred from the seat as you smiled, Fred dramatically fell out of the chair and pretended to scoff at his brother as he took the observer’s spot.

-After round 2 against Fred, the younger Weasley, and Harry had joined the table, each standing on a side of George as you easily took Fred’s king. “You are getting sloppy.” Ron voiced.

“You think you can do better Ronald?” Fred asked, eyebrow raised, “You try.”

“Is that okay?” Ron asked you, a blush spreading across his cheeks as you grinned, “Course Ronnie, Fred, Move.”

-Ron won against you, a grin on his face as his knight claimed victory against your king. “You definitely cheated.” You joked

-Ron looked at Harry, “Harry, you wanna try? I promise playing against [Y/N] is easy.”

“I haven’t a clue how to play.” He whispered, as you joked, “It’s okay, I’ll go easy on you.”

-When Harry took the seat across from you, you turned the board around, making it so that he was allowed to make the first move. “You just gotta tell them where you want them to go.”

-The whole time you played, you were giving tips to him, along with the three ginger boys, however whenever Harry had a question, he asked you.

-Harry won the first game, to which he smiled wide, “I won?”

“Looks that way, now one of them have to try to beat you.” You smiled, looking to Fred, “Wanna try knocking him out Freddie?”

“Alright, but I’m not gonna go easy on him just cause he is a first time player.” Fred replied as you switched spots. However Harry looked over to you, “think you could... maybe...”

-He didn’t even have to finish the question, your feet guiding you to the small space between his seat and the wall, your arms crossed as you watched, offering help to him whenever he asked.

-He won against all of the Weasleys, the last one he played was George, who replied, “You know it is no far that it was 2 against 1.”

“And he’s never played before, we did the same thing when Charlie taught Ginny how to play when she was 5.”Ron replied, as George crossed his arms, “Yes but Charlie didn’t have our strategies memorized like [Y/N].”

“You’re just pouting because a first timer beat you, don’t worry Georgie, your ego will bounce back.” You smiled.

-After Harry beat George, the two younger boys excused themselves to their corridors, while George stretched and muttered something about going to his trunk quickly to get the prank journal. When he left the table Fred looked at you, “So your dad was best friends with the Potters?”

“Yeah, he was.” You whispered, “They basically were family to my dad, like I called his parents my grandparents. Uncle Remus told me that James was the first person other than his mum to see me, and that when I was a baby I adored him, I would cry whenever him or Aunt Lily left the room. I still have pictures too from their wedding in my room, not a day goes by that I don’t think about them.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” His hand stretched towards your hand, as it slowly cupped around yours.

“I figured it wasn’t important.” You lied. Truth was you didn’t want him to put it together, you were scared that you would lose all of them if they knew your dad was in Azkaban, for betraying the Potter’s.

-Fred’s hand didn’t leave yours, even when George returned to discuss all the pranks they had plotted without you. It felt comfortable, and while you and Fred thought nothing of it, George definitely noticed.

-When you all finally went your separate ways to go to bed, George bumped his twin on the shoulder, “So are we gonna talk about that?”

“About what?”

“About what, this boy tells me about what, as though him and [Y/N] haven’t been holding hands for over an hour.” George muttered, as Fred smiled, “Honestly George, it’s not a big deal.”

“Fred, just ask her to Hogsmeades already.” He instructed, “That way I can stop watching you try to suppress your feelings towards her.”

-When the boys went to Potions that morning, they were so excited that their first class was with you. However their smiles fell when you weren’t there at your normal table. The next class they had was Care of Magical Creatures, and when they saw you there, George was the first to state, “You missed Potions?”

“Sorry, I must have forgotten to tell you, I... Ummm dropped potions. I have a private tutoring lesson now for it with Dumbledore.” You replied.

-Both boys went up to McGonagall later that day, and asked if she could ask Dumbledore if they could join you. When she asked, his smile grew, “Of course they can join.”

-Dumbledore apologized for his outburst when you went to his office for the potion lesson, to which you stated, “All is forgiven.”

-Your father still hadn’t written you.... which was concerning. However it didn’t stop you from writing to him daily.

-You wrote to Remus about what Albus said to you, to which he replied by writing Albus a long letter explaining that if he ever did that again, he would be going to Hogwarts directly to correct the interaction.

-A week after classes started, Fred walked up beside you, “Hey [Y/N]?”

“Yes Freddie?”

“You know how we are going to be going to Hogsmeade at the end of the month?”

“You mean we aren’t sneaking into Hogsmeade for once in the dead of night and going legitimately now, when everything is open?” You replied with a grin, as you reflected on all the times you used the Marauders Map to sneak into the village, hoping Charlie, and Percy never saw you.

“Yeah, well I was wondering if you would wanna go with me?”

“I thought we were all going together? I mean Lee is going with Angelina, but I assumed you, George and I were...”

“Nevermind, it was a stupid question...” he stated, “I mean I should have just assumed you were going with us.”

-George and Lee were so proud of Fred for asking you on proper date finally, however when they saw how upset he looked they questioned his appearance, “She ummm didn’t realize I was asking her on a date.” Fred replied, causing both boys to fall silent.

-Dumbledore loved having the three of you, and found that soon his favorite part of the day was your class. Some days it felt as though you all exchanged stories more than learned anything.

-You spent at least one night a week at Hagrid’s hut discussing life over tea. It was here that he told you about his plan to make Harry a scrapbook of pictures of his family. You gladly agreed to help.

-Your first school trip to Hogsmeade was a ball, you three started off at Three Broomsticks, and drank three large mugs of butter beer each. Fred was insistent on paying for yours, and once you finally agreed George joked, “You paying for mine too?”

-You then looked at Fred with a grin, “It’s only fair.”

-After The Three Broomsticks you three ventured to Honeydukes, where you all gawked at the endless rows of sweets.

-Before you left you bought 5 cauldron cakes, along with 10 chocolate frogs and a tin of Sugared Butterfly Wings.

-You ended the trip at Zonko’s, where Fred and George gawked over everything in the store. Both boys touching everything and turning it in their hands, as they observed the products. While they were doing that you had managed to wander away slightly, and bought two nose biting tea cups. Placing them into your bag you walked back over to the boys, who were debating quite loudly who to prank with the dungbombs.

-Upon getting back to Hogwarts you gave two of the five cauldron cakes to Ron and Harry, then you tossed the tin to Harry, and looked at Ron, “Now don’t go eating these all in one night.” You instructed before reaching into your bag and pulling out the ten chocolate frogs. The boys both look at you with sheer joy, and thanked you for the gifts.

-You also gave the twins their cauldron cakes, and the tea cups, both looked at the off white porcelain and muttered, “Wicked.”

-That night Fred sat next to you at dinner, and as soon as Lee sat down you asked, “Soooooo, how’d it go with Angelina?”

“She didnt show, she was supposed to meet me at the tea shop. So I just came back here.”

“Why didn’t you come find us, we told you we would be at the Three Broomsticks before we separated?” George asked

“I didn’t want to drag you guys down. How was it though?” He asked, his frown turning up a bit as George went into a monologue about the trip, leaving you and Fred to just listen as you slowly devoured the food on your plates.

-That night when you were turning in for the night you looked towards Angelina’s four poster, “So why did you do it?”

“Do what?” She asked confused

“Agree to go on a date with Lee Jordan, but instead you stood him up? Let me guess, you and Katie thought it would be a better idea to go to the hair salon and get your hair done?”

“Last I checked what I did was none of your business [Y/N].”

“It is when you hurt my best friend’s feelings, so this is how it is going to go, you are going to apologize to him before your first class, you are going to be honest with him about your feelings and than you are going to make it up to him by actually going with all of us next time. And if you don’t, I’ll hex your broom, and make your hair change colors, do I make myself clear?” Your tone was menacing, and you knew Angelina was aware that you were the brightest witch of your year.

-She agreed to the terms, and that morning at breakfast Lee sat down smiling, “So Angelina apologized, and you’re never gonna guess why she stood me up?”

“Why?” Fred asked, before shoving a fork full of eggs into his mouth.

“Turns out she was on a date with Oliver.”

-When the boys told you that Harry was on the Quidditch team you were ecstatic.

-However that first game you were nervous for him, and nearly lost your mind when he crashed onto the pitch. However as soon as he spit up the snitch you cheered the loudest.

-When the broom started to jerk around in the air, you were trying to see who could have been muttering a hex on it, as you muttered a counter curse. That’s when you saw Snape mouthing something, but you knew Snape’s behaviors well enough to know he would never try to charm Harry’s broom.

-The next trip to Hogsmeade Angelina joined, as promised, and actually had a lot of fun. After when you were all walking back you bummed her arm lightly, “Thanks for that by the way.”

“No problem, maybe Oliver will want to come to the next one, then we can have a double date kinda.”

“How?”

“You and Fred....”

“Fred and I aren’t dating.” You stated softly, “We’re just friends.”

“This coming from the girl who shared a butter beer with him, and who he gave his jacket to when you said you were cold.” She laughed, “I don’t know about you, but that seems an awful lot like you two are dating.”

-That night you and Harry actually stayed up late talking, you never brought up anything about your lives crossing, but you just talked. It was a common occurrence.

-Yes he twins were jealous of Harry at one point, but that was just because after every quidditch match you would go congratulate him first. However when you would go congratulate them you would wrap them both into tight hugs, and suggest going to Three Broomsticks to celebrate with Fire Whiskey.

-On the night of Halloween when you were all sent back to the common rooms you were frantically looking around for Ron and Harry, your heart racing as each second ticked by. When you finally saw the two dirty boys and the mousy brown haired mess of curls you went rushing over to Harry and engulfed him in a hug, “Don’t scare me like that again you two.”

-After that day, Hermoine joined your group, which you liked, because you knew how beneficial it was for the Twins and Lee to have a girl in their friend group.

-She loved getting to know you, because you challenged her intelligence daily.

-Fred never brought up you both going to Hogsmeade together again.

-One night while you were helping Fred with his transfiguration homework, you both feel asleep on the love seat. Harry woke you both up the next morning before going to his first class.

-As always you finished the term with the top grades in your class, and for once the Twins got higher than a A in potions.

-You drew names for secret Santa that year, however one of you kept drawing your own names, so finally after drawing names 20 times, you finally got your person, who happened to be George.

-The twins begged you to stay at Hogwarts that year, knowing that you couldn’t invite him to have Christmas at your house. As much as you wanted to stay though you told him you had to go home. You needed to see your Uncle, and get pictures for Hagrid’s secret project.

-You sat alone on the train ride back, and watched the countryside whiz by.

-Remus was so excited when he saw you get off the train, and you wasted no time running up to him to give him a hug.

-Over the holiday, you had made arrangements to stay at Hogwarts with Hagrid for the full moon. You were not allowed to go to the actual castle because you didn’t want the boys finding out why you were there.

-On the car ride home, you were informing him of Hagrid’s plan, and he quickly agreed to donate a few photographs to the cause.

-As soon as you got home you started going through the old photo box, Remus was insistent however that no pictures of the other Marauders or the first Order would be included. However he thought it was fine that you included a photo from James and Lily’s wedding, where they were holding you while dancing.

- Remus had told Hagrid you would both be attending Christmas dinner at his house, meaning you were going to be at Hogwarts. You also knew that Harry and Ron might stop in, since Hagrid and Harry had gotten so close.

-As soon as you got to Hagrid’s, you saw all the boys playing in the snow through the window. Hagrid poured your tea and stated, “They all came to wish me a merry Christmas, figured I let them play in the snow with Fang for a bit. I must say though, those two twins haven’t been the same since you left [Y/N].”

“I figured they would have been overjoyed that there was no parental figure there anymore to harp on them.” You joked before sitting down next to your father, and sipping your tea.

-Hagrid got teary eyed looking over the pictures you and Remus had picked out. However he tried to cover it, “it feels like only yesterday you were little like this [Y/N], now look at you, all grown up, getting the highest marks of the grade.”

-He got you a biker jacket for Christmas, it was all black, and had little studs in it. “Your father had one just like it when he was here, I figured it was only fair you had one too.”

-Remus got you a cassette player, and a few of the classics. When you opened it your mouth gaped open, “I love it.”

“I figured you would, it was something your father brought back with him one summer after staying with Uncle James, he took it everywhere with him and blared all this muggle music.” Remus smiled, as you popped in a tape and pressed play, as Queen started blasting out of the speaker.

-“There’s one more present for ya too, Dumbledore delivered it this morning. I guess Molly sent all the boys presents here, along with one for you.” Hagrid pulled the familiar brown wrapped present out from under his little tree beside the couch. A cute little golden bow was stuck on the top of it. As you unwrapped it you expected to see just the sweater, however on top of it laid a enevelope, with your name beautifully written across the front. As you carefully opened it, you couldn’t help but listen to Remus’s laughter as he watched Harry playing with the Weasleys in the snow, “It appears as though one of your boys just tackled Harry into the snow.”

-You knew that just seeing Harry from afar was going to give Remus so much joy. You turned and whispered, “Of course he would.”

-Inside the enevelope was a card, on the front you noticed it had hand drawn flowers littered all over, with your name once again printed on the front in the same handwriting. Inside the letter small specks of glitter started to float out, and you couldn’t help but smile when you saw her message, “Hope your Christmas is magical.”

-Your sweater that year was a dark forest green and the letter was in a light grey, as though you were a Slytherin. You slipped it on immediately.

-You had stayed late at the hut, sipping tea and laughing. Occasionally you had peaked out the window to watch the boys but as soon as the sun started to set they had all retreated to the castle, and Fang came back to the hut. As soon as Fang saw you, he leapt onto the couch and rested his head on your lap, his eyes immediately shutting as you pet him. Soon he was fast asleep.

-However in less than an hour there was a knocking on the door, which Hagrid answered, expecting that the other professors had come to join you all for dinner, however when he opened it, he was greeted by two tall, slightly muscular, ginger boys with red cheeks, and huge smiles. “Where is she?” They both stated at the same time.

“Where’s who?” Hagrid was blocking the doorway, so neither saw you turn on the couch to look back at the back of Hagrid’s frame.

“[Y/N].” They both stated, before pushing past him and into the hut. As soon as they saw you looking at them, they both lifted their arms and cheered loud enough to wake up Fang, before running around either side of the couch and engulfing you in a hug. Remus chuckling as Hagrid whispered, “Howd they know?”

“Call it best friend intuition.” Remus replied, knowing fully well that they probably saw your name on the map.

-You also knew that’s how they knew you were here.

-You all moved to the floor, Fang curled up in his bed as you were seated between the two gingers, each of you joking amongst yourselves as Remus watched. As soon as you saw Hagrid put the apron on though you were standing up, and hurrying over to help, grabbing your own apron to throw on as you helped him extract the food from the oven and stove. the boys had also gotten up to help but Remus stopped them, “Don’t even try boys, they have a system on doing this.”

-After dinner you and the boys went outside to play in the falling snow, both boys wasting no time throwing snow at you, before tackling you into the cold. As soon as the snowball fight started both boys picked you up at some point, and threw you over their shoulder as they ran through the snow. Laughter filling the air as you all raced around in the dark snowfall, hurling small bulger sized balls of snow and ice at one another.

-As you all played in the snow, Remus and Hagrid sat inside the hut and talked, at some point Hagrid looked at Remus, “Thank you by the way.”

“For what?”

“The pictures, I know that these were probably hard for you to part with.”

-After two hours outside the Weasley Twins and you were laying in the snow, watching the snow float onto your faces, your bodies slowly sinking into the frozen water flakes. Remus opened the door and looked out into the darkness, watching the snow softly land on the three of you before calling out, “It’s time to go home Love.”

-This caused you to quickly sit up, the boys slowly mimicking your action as you looked to either of them, “Well boys, it’s been entertaining.”

“Do you think Remus will let you stay?” George whispered as you looked towards him, you smile falling slightly as you replied, “Sadly no boys, but don’t worry, I’ll be back before know it.”

-Hugging the boys goodbye was harder then you expected, and before heading into the hut you watched both of them ascend up the stairway towards the castle. Once inside you and Remus quickly used the floo powder system to return to the cabin. 

-Two days later you returned to the hut, and spent the night with Hagrid and Fang. Those days you were there Fred and George never opened the map, so they had no idea you had returned the castle.

-While you were there you and Hagrid made a handful of bake goods, and over a dozen cups of tea.

-When you got on the train, it was really strange not sitting with Fred and George, however Lee saved you a seat in the booth with him, Angelina, Katie, Oliver and Lavender Brown.

-When you got to the platform, you heard your name loudly exclaimed, turning you saw the red headed, younger twin race towards you, arms wide open as you opened your own, and collided with you. His tighting squeeze engulfing you as Lee chuckled, “Goodness I wish you greeted me like that George.”

“I absolutely do, you just never notice when I do.” George replied, as you rolled your eyes.

“Speaking of your better half, where is he?” You rebuttaled

“Back at the common room, he claimed that he didn’t feel well.” His fingers made the quotation hand gestures when he said didn’t feel well.

-When you were in the common room you saw Harry in his H sweater, and couldn’t help but smile, “So you are part of the tradition now too?”

- That night You, and the three boys sat around the fireplace, the soft glow of the flames highlighting Fred and George’s faces as you and Lee sat facing them, each of you held boxes on your lap as you each joked and discussed your holidays. Finally it was Lee who spoke up, “Well I’ll go first, I got Fred.”

-As he handed the box to Fred you couldn’t help but chuckle, since Lee had already told you what he had put in the box. Fred’s eyes shifted between the two of you as he slowly started tearing the paper, “It’s not a dungbomb that’s about to go off is it?”

“No, besides if it were, why would we all be sitting around you?” Lee answered.

-Inside was a self help book on maintaining healthy, romantic relationships, he read it and looked horrified, and then asked, “Do you think I’m gonna be a shitty boyfriend?”

“No mate, just figured you would just need all the help you can get.”

-You went next, “Well I got George. However I have to apologize in advance, cause I didn’t get you a relationship self help book, but if you need to I am sure Fred will let you burrow his.”

-When George opened his box, he revealed a maroon and golden scarf, with a matching hat. On top of the hat was a small pompon. He looked to you as you replied, “Your mum taught me how to knit last summer.”

-He immediately put it on.

-Fred went next, and tossed the box to Lee, “Merry Christmas mate.”

Inside the box was a tiny cube, which was painted a metallic orange color. There was no opening to it, or any other indications of what it actually was. However Fred was beaming with pride as Lee turned it in his hands, and finally he asked, “What is it?”

“A prototype, George and I cooked it up while you were gone. It is the first prototype of a product we would like to create for our joke shop, and there will be a secret trigger word which will cause it to multiple and release a foul smelling gas.”

“Fred accidentally set it off though when he was wrapping it though so sadly it won’t work, but it took Flich a whole week to get the stink out of the common room.” George added as you looked at the product in Lee’s hand.

“What if instead it was a wind up toy, that way you couldn’t accidentally set it off.” You suggested, as both Fred and George looked at you, the wheels in their head spinning as they processed your suggestion.

-Finally George spoke, “You’re a genius Black.”

-George looked at his lap, “So I got you a present, but Mum hasn’t sent it yet.”

Your eyebrow raised, “Do I get to know what it is?”

“No, it’s a surprise, but I am really sorry it isn’t here yet.”

“It’s fine Georgie, just means now I’m not gonna talk to you till it comes.” You joked.

“You can’t be serious.” He whined, as you looked to Fred, “Freddie, why isn’t George here?”

“He’s in the hospital wing, gave himself a black eye from slipping in the court yard.”

“Come on guys this isn’t funny.” George whined, revealing much to his unamusement that all of his friends had also joined in on the joke.

-For a week whenever you were all together you would make up different sonarios as to why George wasn’t hanging out with you all. Whenever he spoke you would also joke that George was using telepathy to speak to you all. However when you were not all together, you would interact with George. You apologized as well for starting the joke.

-The day the present came, George slammed it on the table in front of your group, “Here it is.”

“Bloody hell George, where have you been all week, we were worried sick.” You sighed as you looked at the ginger.

“Well it all started when I was trying to prank you guys, but Snape saw me before I could pull it off, and he locked me in detention for a week in the dungeon, and had me organized his ingredients and potion cabinets.”

“That sounds awful.” Lee exclaimed as you pointed towards the box, “So what’s this?”

“That is your present Miss Black, which I request you open at your earliest convenience.”

“Well I better open it after I finish my 5 parchment paper, and save the world, and...” you joked as you snatched the box from him.

“Don’t forget you also have to babysit Fang, and you told Harry you would play quidditch with him.” Fred interrupted.

“You also said you would do mine and Freddie’s parchments as well.” Lee added

-When you opened it you were treated with a red velvet box, and turned it in your hand, “What’s this George?”

“Open it to see.” He instructed, before looking to Fred with a smile.

-Inside was a hand painted, white oval. Within the oval was a small, colorblocked painting of a dragon. The outside of the oval was decorated with braided red and white string. As you looked at it, George stated, “Mum picked it up in Romania for me, they call it a Martisor, and they gift it during the Martisor holiday, which they celebrate on the first day of spring. The red and white strings on top are supposed to symbolize that you will have a joyous year.”

“Where did you get this?” You whispered

“Mum picked it up for me in Romania when they were visiting Charlie, that’s why it took so long to get here.” He beamed as you looked at him, “Thanks Georgie.”

Part Five



#harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #harry potter one shot #harry potter one shots #harry potter oneshot #hp imagine #hp fanfiction #hp fanfic #hp imagines #hp one shot #hp oneshot #hp one shots #hp oneshots

[fatalism-and-villainy]

Nobody asked for a Qi Ye reaction post but here one is nonetheless (at almost 1500 words.... hello.)

[~spoilers~]

One of the first things I can say is that I love love LOVE Priest’s writing style. It’s hard to say how much of this is a translation thing, because I did get the vibe that this translation was a lot smoother and better than the other cnovel translations I happen to have read. But god!! Her style is very densely allusive, and a challenge to follow at times, but so so beautiful. The story’s narration also shifts perspective a lot in the middle of chapters, which gives it this almost cinematic bird’s eye effect for me (except with internal-emotional states more than visuals). I can see it being the kind of thing that might bother people, but I love it – and I think that it ties in with the themes about the ephemerality and impermanence of life, and the way these little moments are all part of a much bigger sphere of existence.

I also like the way she does humour more than MXTX, honestly? I find the slapstick humour in MXTX’s works to be overdone and distracting from the other story and characterization work going on in her works. Whereas here, the humour landed more and also felt like it tied in more with the actual development of character and themes. Like, for instance, Liang Jiuxiao’s battle with the sable wherein he gets scratched every time and exhausts Beiyuan’s entire supply of antidote – it’s over the top, but also genuinely funny to me, AND I feel the comedic setup of Liang Jiuxiao constantly being an unwanted visitor contrasts very well with the entire heartbreaking scenario involving Beiyuan drugging him for Zhou Zishu, as well as his general progression from a Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass archetype to being completely shattered by the evil and corruption in the world.

(The Sex and Kissing stuff is also, imo, more sensual and generally hotter to me than MXTX’s stuff – not trying to pick on her specifically, she’s just my only point of comparison for these novels.)

The main romance is ehhh… Mixed Feelings? I loved Wu Xi in all the parts he wasn’t playing the role of “love interest who expresses their love via violent jealousy”, but the parts where he WAS…. woof. Like, I don’t necessarily mind jealousy when it’s internal sensations, or when it’s a very intentionally fucked up dynamic, but I like it less so when it’s couple who’s riding off into the sunset and are the only foil to the general aura of melancholy and sadness in a story? Really hope that’s a one-off specific piece of characterization and not a general Thing for Priest…

I did actually like the gradual development of Beiyuan’s feelings, and the way there’s no Big Moment of Realization – or rather, there is a moment of realization, but it’s not super dramatic, it’s just sort of settling into something that’s been there awhile.

Another problem with their relationship for me though, I think, is how rushed the denouement of the book is, and how many important things are glossed over. Like, okay, they’re riding off into the sunset, but are they actually going to talk about the fact that Beiyuan seduced Wu Xi for Deception Purposes and then drugged him…? Taking advantage of Wu Xi’s very earnest and intense feelings in the process? Like, they stay in the capital for three months of negotiations before they leave, all while Wu Xi hides Beiyuan in his house – there must have been conversations and Relationship Negotiations? And yet we don’t See any of that, we’re just treated to them riding off in a carriage with some cheeky little line about how Beiyuan has the rest of his life to make things up to Wu Xi (presumably by having rough sex)… like ok.

The racism… there was a lot of it in the presentation of Nanjiang! I think the thing that stood out to me though was the line about Wu Xi’s having a kind of intuitive understanding of how people are (an intuition attributed to children, even!) despite not being cultured – it slots so perfectly into the kind of colonial propaganda that posits colonized people as having this innate, intuitive understanding of the world or connection with nature or what have you – but of course they’re not mature, they’re not cultured, they don’t have the capacity for rationality, that we do. To be fair, the line I’m thinking of is also applied to Liang Jiuxiao, but it is of a piece with how Nanjiang is characterized throughout the novel – like, oh, they’re so simple! When they like someone they just get married! It’s presented as a romantic ideal, but in a way that portrays Nanjiang as being Simple and Rustic and lacking the cultural complexity of the Great Qing. (Especially since we b a r e l y see the country or its people on the page.)

(Not to mention the way Wu Xi’s bodyguards from Nanjiang are portrayed as being confused and grossed out by him being in love with a man – contrasted with the commentary about how commonplace sex between men is in the Great Qing. Feels very like Nanjiang gets cast as less “enlightened”?)

I think those elements are also part of why the romance doesn’t fully stick its landing for me – because Wu Xi does take in and consider Great Qing cultural stuff, and incorporate it into his worldview alongside the influence of his home culture – and we don’t see Beiyuan doing something similar in return. He wants to leave for Nanjiang in part because he’s exhausted with capital politics and wants freedom, but why Nanjiang specifically? What does the country mean to him? How’s he actually going to fit in there? (This is another thing that also could have been filled in more with more actual writing about what goes down after that final battle.)

I honestly was deeply moved by Helian Yi. I shed literal tears for that man on multiple occasions. I do feel like I would have benefitted from more actual exploration of his past life-relationship with Beiyuan? Because as it was, I felt like that aspect of Beiyuan’s characterization was kind of informed rather than fleshed out – what did he see in Helian Yi in the first place? And I think the unrequited love would have been more poignant if we’d had more flashbacks to when it was requited.

Also, the possible-incest reveal?? What even was the point of that…? (I know people have posited that that’s why Helian Yi originally had Beiyuan killed, but with that final deleted-on-JJWXC extra I feel like it’s meant to be that he thought Beiyuan was responsible for Su Qingluan’s death. Another thing that should have been elaborated on, plot-wise…)

In general, the ending was very rushed. It gave me distinct “project due the next day” vibes.

ZHOU ZISHU!!!! – my main emotional engagement with this, tbh. I loved what was done with him, loved getting to see more of the atrocities he was behind (haha), loved the chilling “ends justify the means” ideological track he was on, loved how enmeshed he was in Hierarchy and political intrigue and how Carefully he handled himself around his social superiors… yeah.  

I am also…. Also losing my mind over the entire Vibe between Zhou Zishu and Liang Jiuxiao. Misplaced devotion… broken pedestals… weird subtextual hard-to-define Feelings... selfishly wanting to hide the worst parts of yourself from someone…. Ahhhhh it’s good. Love those intricate complex homoerotic friendships. If there Exists any fic (whether platonic or less so) that anyone wants to rec… pls do 👀

I have to say, another problem I had with the ending was that I don’t think the tonal dissonance was well-balanced. Like, there’s a very melancholy atmosphere for pretty much everyone except the main couple, and I do understand that their getting away from the capital is the only thing that engenders that happiness (as a big theme of the book is that the politicking in the capital is exhausting and demoralizing – and to my understanding that is similar to the themes at work in Faraway Wanderers.) But I don’t feel as though those two streams were working in communication with each other in the final chapters – I would say that the cutesy scenes with the main couple just felt jarring in contrast to the sadness and regret that permeated the rest of the narrative. I think perhaps they were too saccharine, rather than emphasizing escape and looking forward to different possibilities? I’m not sure. (It also seems questionable to present Nanjiang as an Escape, given that Wu Xi is in charge now?? They’re still right in the thick of politics?) Anyway, this all is why I like the placement of that final extra at the end of the narrative, because it Is a turning back to melancholia that I like to see during nominal happy endings.

#qi ye talk #fandom natterings #book blogging

[purplesurveys]

1125

survey by nadine07

[..Introductions..]

First Name: Robyn.

Middle Name: I don’t think I’ve shared it on here and I doubt I will.

Last Name: Not providing it either but it starts with a C.

Birthdate: April 21st.

[..First Things First..]

What was the first thing you did after you got up? I rushed to the rooftop so that I could see the sunrise. I also got in the random mood to do a time-lapse of it, but the sun took forrrrrrrr-freaking-ever to come up entirely. I was holding up my phone for like 15 minutes and nothing was happening, so I quit halfway through lol.

What was the name of your first pet? Goldie, because it was a goldfish.

Who was your first big crush? Gabie, I would say.

Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? Chelsea’s 18th birthday dinner was scheduled right after I happened to get my license, and the event took place in a small, quaint little restaurant in Marikina. 

There’s a bit of a funny story here, too – Aaron needed a ride to get there and so I offered to drive him. I picked him up and we were having small talk in the car, and he asked me how long I’ve been driving. I told him that moment was my literal first time driving out and that I just got my license the day before, and he is my first-ever passenger (at that point I’ve never even tried driving solo yet). The horror and immediate distrust on his face was something I will never forget HAHAHA. We got to the place unharmed, but it’s still one of my favorite stories to tell.

Who was your very first friend? It was a kind girl named Kaye back in kindergarten. We were always next to each other in our class lists, so it was inevitable for us to befriend one another. She transferred schools in first grade and I have not seen nor heard from her since.

What was the first thing you ate today? I had another bag of salted egg chips. I’m extremely hooked, lmao.

What was your first job? I work as an associate at a PR agency.

[..Colors..]

Name something red in the room you are in: We have an unopened bottle of wine here on the dining table and there’s still a red ribbon wrapped around it.

Is orange one of your school's team colors? No, neither of my schools had orange as one of its colors.

How many yellow shirts do you own? I can think of 5 tops hanging out in my wardrobe at the moment. Two of them are class shirts from high school; the others were tops I bought when I started getting into mustard yellow.

Name someone you know who drives a green car: I believe Angel, a classmate from high school who also studies in UP, also drives a Mitsubishi Mirage, albeit a lime green one.

Is it a blue sky outside right now? Yes for the most part, but the sun is setting soon so the sky is bound to change into many pretty colors as it usually does at this time of the day.

What is the first thing that pops into your head when I say 'purple'? Barney the dinosaur, and ube.

Are the walls in the room you're in white? Yes, all our walls indoors are white.

Does black make you think of depressing things? Not always, but if used specifically in that context, it definitely helps boosts the mood.

Jewelry: gold or silver? Silverrr, always.

[..Phone Stuff..]

Who is your provider? Nothing you would be familiar with, but I use Globe.

How long have you had your current phone? It’ll be three years this year. It would be nice to upgrade, but I’m also still happy with my current phone so it doesn’t really matter to me.

What did your last text say? The last one that came through that didn’t come from my mobile services provider was from someone in the media. It was his birthday last Friday and I messaged him if he’d like to receive a gift from us, on behalf of one of our clients; he just replied with his confirmation and details.

If you woke up naked next to the last person to call, would it be awkward? Yep and I’d feel like throwing up almost immediately.

Was your last missed call male or female? It was from my mom.

Who is your 10th phone contact? It’s from Jum, who I realize is still listed as Ate Jum on my phone. That’s cute hahaha; I must have gotten her number when we weren’t super close yet. Anyway, she’s been super MIA for like the last two years...basically, ever since she graduated. I believe she has also since moved back to Bicol, so it’s become virtually impossible to see her again. Bums me out and I look forward to the day we somehow end up in the same room once again.

How did you meet them? I met her in my very first journalism major class. I had mixed feelings towards her at first since I found her to be super loud in class, and I initially thought she would only be a one-time classmate and nothing more; but I got to know her more and we even ended up as orgmates, and it turns out she is literally the most hilarious person I know.

Are you related to your 17th phone contact? I have absolutely no clue who it is. I no longer remember what led to it, but Gabie and I swapped the SIM cards in our phones at one point, and for some reason it made me have access to her contacts; the 17th contact on my phone is someone from her list. And since I never hang out in my Contacts app, I’ve never gotten around to deleting those extra numbers I received.

How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Around 6th or 7th grade. I can’t remember the exact grade level she transferred to my school as a new student.

When was the last time you saw them? It’s been at least a year. I remember seeing her on campus very briefly when I was on my way to a certain building for class, while she was walking out of it.

Who is your 4th phone contact? LMAO, again, it’s from her contact list. Said person is one of her older cousins, I believe.

Have you ever kissed that person? No, and that is very weird and uncomfortable to think about.

When was the last time someone drunk dialed/texted/left a voicemail? Andi drunk messaged me a few months ago. November, I think.

[..Friends..]

Who is your #1? No Myspace but I’d say my top best friend is Angela.

How long have you known them? It will be 16 years this year.

Have you ever kissed? Oh my gosh, hell no. It would be like kissing a sister haha. She’s super affectionate and will sometimes kiss my shoulder or cheek, though.

Are you dating this person? No, never did and never desired to.

Do you have nicknames for each other? Not really exclusive to each other, but I call her Anj (and only a few people call her so) and she will occasionally call me Reben or Rolayn, both from past inside jokes.

What is your #2's full name? I am not sharing that, but I refer to them as Andi (you may remember them as Andrew from the past times I’ve mentioned them).

Do they live within 20 minutes of you? If there is zero traffic, I can probably make it to their place within that timeframe, yeah. But realistically, no they don’t.

How did you meet? We initially met in an anti-Marcos protest/rally – I approached they first because they had a wrestling shirt on, heheh – and that’s when I learned we were from the same college. But they rubbed me off the wrong way from our first meeting as they were too extroverted for my liking, and I spent a good chunk of time ignoring him whenever we crossed paths, lmfao. Eventually we were put in the same class at some point, and they even joined my org, and an intensely close friendship started from there.

Could you live with this person? Sure. I think they would never be a boring roommate.

Who is your #3? I’m gonna go with Kate for this one.

Where are they right now? I have no idea. We don’t really catch up with each other’s lives on a regular basis; we have a very chill, low-maintenance friendship.

When is this person's birthday? January 1st.

Has this person ever seen you naked? I don’t think so.

What is your #4's full name? I don’t think I have a 4th-tier best friend haha, but I’m gonna pick Tina.

When did you last see them? Last year, on the last normal day I was able to be on campus. She was set to present one of her projects at a journalism conference that was taking place in campus that day, but I was able to hang out with her for a short time before the event.

Have they ever dated one of your other friends? No. I knew she had a crush on someone from the college, though.

Do you know their favorite movie? I’m not sure about her favorite movie but I do know she loves Adam Sandler. I was never able to figure out if her interest was ironic or genuine but yeah, she enjoys a good number of his works.

[..Randomosity..]

What time is it? 6:20 PM.

Are you supposed to be doing something other than this? I wouldn’t say so. I do have deliverables for work but since it’s the weekend, I’m not thinking about them nor do I have the desire to touch those tasks until Monday.

Do you live on your own or with your parents? I live with my family. Considering my monthly income, it’d be close to impossible to sustain myself in my own place this early in my adult life.

Are you more of a cat or a dog person? Dog, for sure.

Are you allergic to anything? I don’t believe so.

Does your shirt have anything written on it? Yeah, it says “UP Fighting Maroons” styled in a varsity font since that’s the term for our sports team.

Have you ever tie-dyed something? I have, but only back in like Grade 6 when we had to do it for a home ec class. I remember wanting to buy a tie-dye set recently so I could revisit the activity, but I never got around to it.

Who can you always count on to cheer you up? Angela for the most part; but I also don’t want to be too reliant on my friends in this way. Sometimes I simply allow myself to be sad or upset, and sometimes I count on myself to cheer up.

How many places have you been today? I have been nowhere but at home today lol. I’ll be going to BGC tomorrow to have lunch with my godfather and my cousins, though.

Are you a forgiving person? No.

When was the last time you felt let down? Last night when I read the news that the government will be making All Souls’ Day, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Eve working days this year. I already know I’ll be half-assing my way through those days lmao because whyyyyyyy the fuck would you make people work on family-centric holidays such as those

What is the title of the nearest book to you? There are no books here at the rooftop.

Are you wearing anything that belongs to someone else? Nope.

Can you whistle? Only through my lips. I can’t do the kind of whistle where you put your fingers in your mouth as well.

Do you look more like your mother or your father? My mom.

Are you still in high school? I’m well past that chapter.

Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child? I’m the eldest.

Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep? No, because I don’t.

How many people have you kissed this year? None.

Is there anyone of the opposite sex you trust fully? Hmm, no one comes to mind.

Are you a night owl or an early bird? More of a night owl.

If you could have an exotic pet, what would it be? No thanks. I’ve never had the desire to have one.

Would you rather go to Brazil for the weekend or Finland for a month? I’d have to go with Finland. I feel like the cultural differences would be a lot more marked, plus the vacation is longer so that is an instant win for me.

[..And Finally..]

Where did you go the last time you drove somewhere? I was driving to the local coffee shop to spend some time with myself, and do a liiiiiiiittle bit of work as well.

Where did you last go out to eat at? Ramen Nagi. I was initially hesitant to show up there and ask for a table for one on a Sunday evening...but it turned out to feel incredibly empowering and freeing. It was definitely awkward at first, but it got a lot easier once I realized literally no one gives a fuck. Or if they did, they didn’t do anything about it and let me mind my own business. That evening was a crucial step in reclaiming my happiness, so I’m glad I made the choice to suck it up and enter the restaurant.

When was the last time you let someone borrow something from you? Last week, when Angela needed our abaca mat as an aesthetic for her grad shoot.

Was your last breakup a bad one? Yes.

What was the last song you listened to? Just checked my Spotify and the current song I have on pause is Descansos by Hayley Williams. 

What was the last movie you watched? Midsommar.

Did your last kiss happen in a public place? Not technically, but it did take place outside of my house so we were outdoors for some neighbors to see.

How did you meet the last person to leave you a comment? It was Andi, and I already explained how we met earlier in this survey.

#survey #surveys

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#3)

Let’s see what we have on the slate. this should be the premiere of s3: Speak Your Truth. I am watching this during school, so let’s see how bad my focus is.

-the episode description is “The shooting of Dr. Charles moves to the courtroom and things turn complicated for the doctors and nurses of Chicago Med.” so still on brand for being all sorts of vague.

-all that really says is more sarah angst so big sad

-let’s get started

-god back to classic med, starting things off fast, just how i like it

-how tf kellogg live through the headshot. guy can’t do anything right

-connor running towards charles on the guerney screaming “what the hell happened!?” and sharon just being “he got shot.” is so fucking hilarous to me i have no clue why

-oh god i remember how much it bothered me that connor changed his hair from the end of s2 to the start of s3 lol (bc it’s supposed to be the same night, but yk, nitpicking)

-the time jump is such an interesting choice. i remember it was jarring at first. i’m sure i’ll have more to say as the episode goes on

-aw hey guys look its sarah! adorable

-also stoll

-oh god, nat taking a sabbatical was weird

-WHEN SHE LOOKS AT WILL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN PAIN IM SCREAMING

-counting

-oh boy watching s3 means i get to watch noah get thrown through a glass door and also be a disappointment

-the way connor is effortlessly charming here in the beginning is maybe the only reason i tolerate his character (also more of sarah being adorable)

-horney boi. stop it.

-noah following after sarah like a lovesick puppy is funny

-sarah saying ‘he’s the reason i went into psych...’ honey, psych is not good for your mental health please stop giving him credit

-HOLD THE FUCK ON?????

-its the s3 premiere and Sarah talks about her dad and her strained relationship, specifically because noah compares charles getting shot to her dad getting shot. but like, foreshadowing... maybe i should give the med writers a smidge more of credit than I have been in terms of planning things...

-sarah: “don’t compare my dad to dr. charles.”

-long sigh. god... sarah being so supportive. and charles just being ‘No???’

-not to be weird but court room scenes always get me feeling some sorta way

-haha its peter stone! remember him? remember chicago justice?

-THE BETRAYAL ON SARAH’S FACE - she cares so much about him and he’s about to get his own shooter acquitted.

-god sarah is just fucking fantastic. she feels so passionately about caring about people

-god charles fucking hates himself so much? he should Not be ava’s mentor

-charles: “I think the shooting is affecting your objectivity.” sarah: “mY oBjECtiViTy?!”

-also they said ‘the fact he was concealing a weapon shows like fear malicious content’ or what ever. and uh,, sarah? please. please, for my sanity. (bc of what happens later in the season)

-charles- you know how you can help me? fuck off.

-lol this kid is the one who had like a tooth ache, and now his brain is rotting or something. probably will happen to me (@ my parents please let me see the dentist)

-this is where doris is like ethan is playing favorites

-the like background noises of the ed calm me down. they prob really shouldn’t

-they’re gonna fuckkkkk

-something to be said about sarah being gung ho about kellogg being off the streets and a danger to society when... her dad...

- I really like when med does the thing when one character is just standing in the ed and they transition to the next story by having the next character run past

-what is with all of the nurses drama like honestly

-hey guys look its ava! (let see if i have enough brain cells to find anything)

-heyyyy look at that. ava trying usurp some of connor’s cases. while, yeah she is being a tad undermining, connor’s gf was literally just discharged from a psych hold. this is just an interaction to keep in mind for future events.

-ava’s playing full cunning while connor’s busy fucking his girlfriend

-dont hate the player man

-because they’re both under latham, they’re more rivals than hero/villain, bc they have a common guy who is their advisor. but yeah. dont hate the player

-robin calling ava ‘cruella’ is making want to throw hands ngl. god dude chill - bc it means either robin just saw ava interacting with people and thought ‘what a bitch’ or connor was complaining about ava and either way I hate it.

-connor broke up with robin bc she was too horneyyy (ik he didn’t break up w her but yk)

-connor - reese interaction was nice. until he started blaming her bruh wtf chilll

-her arguing with connor is like. peak. (ava + sarah teaming up to bully connor and not take any of his shit?? i think yes)

-this ethan april thing is stupid. i’m just gonna say it.

-ava: “that would have been a really great idea if you were trying to kill him.” SHE TAKES NO. SURVIVORS. i love her so much

-YEAH RHODES GET FUCKED! i think one of the reasons ava was disliked at first was bc latham kind of favored her and... literally everyone else favored connor? so get fucked? but here, ava can obviously hold her own and connor is just whining. I’m glad they put them on equal ground bc connor and ava’s direct superior is on ava’s side, and literally everyone else is with connor. AND CONNORS STILL PLAYED AS AN UNDERDOG BC AVA TOOK HIS SURGERY! HOW. infuriating

-anyway, for the purposes of the theory ava is capable enough to hold her own as a stand alone, and clever enough to be entertaining

-holy shit no i think i just remembered how this storyline goes. connor gets a better surgery, right? he gets glory and stuff. this is too fucking rich, come on. let one thing go wrong for him.

-i miss ava

-GOD SARAH LOOKS GOOD IN HER FUCKING BLAZER. unfair. unmatched

-stop it sarah you have anxiety.

-SARAH NO. BABY IS SCARED.

-okay. Ava is half bickering, half flirting with him, a little annoying but we put up with it bc we love her and its not her fault she’s supposed to be his love interest. but still, it’s playful, it’s not neccesarily flirting. conceivably, she could be talking to anybody. But then, she tells him to relax, to take a day off. SHE’S STILL A GOOD PERSON. SHE’S NOT TRYING TO EXPLICITLY SPITE CONNOR, OR ANYONE. that’s what people tend to forget. she’s not malicious.

-connor thinks she is tho. maybe that’s why some people hated her, bc connor hated her

-charles: “kellogg is not a criminal” BRUH HE SHOT YOU

-HOLY SHIT. SHARON RN IS LIKE YOU WANT KELLOGG TO BE FREE BC YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE SIGNS OF A KILLER AND ITS ABOUT YOUR EGO

-AND??? SARAH’S DAD ANYONE? that was why he was so persistent of sarah’s dad. he wanted to catch the signs.

-OKAY HERE. When latham is like, wait, did ava manipulate me? is she actually sus? he was the one person on her side and then boom he sides with connor. literally do you have any idea how great ava would be without connor?

-this manstead thing is soooo exhausting

Okay so what have we learned?

Ava is getting Connor’s cases. kind of rude but also, they’re surgeons? It’s super competitive. AND CONNOR LITERALLY WON THAT ROUND BC LATHAM SWITCHED SIDES???

AND SHE STILL TOLD CONNOR TO GET SLEEP. LIKE SHE WAS BEING NICE WHILE ALSO BEING SNARKY

ava had less lines in the ep than in s2 and honestly. wtf.

not much content, but if you look at her content, come on she’s still amazing.

thanks for sticking through

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #med rewatch series #speak your truth #mine

[fallingin-like]

november 17

above the clouds by @gluupor​ [requested by @fuzzballsheltiepants]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post! 

this is an absolutely amazing fic that features airships, android!neil, and fantastic world-building. it’s a really fun and adventurous read, but still contains enough angst to break your heart. if you haven’t read this yet, drop everything and read it now. if you have read it, read it again.

okay i enjoyed this fic so much that i cannot put it in words. i remember when i first read it, i always get so excited when i see that you’ve posted and i read it in an hour, the time passing by so quickly. i couldn’t pull myself away and was reluctant to go back to real life after i finished reading. all your characters are so entertaining and as always, are integrated so nicely into this au.

things that stood out to me:

”over the khazak grass plains, year 1424 new era (ne), january” i just think that this adds a lot to the story so efficiently. we have a location and time and i just feel like this sort of title/header establishes a tone (makes me feel a steampunk/sci-fi kind of vibe). i’d be interested in how you came up with which locations and years to use?

”andrew shut off the engines and revelled in the silence. he could still hear the mechanical noises that resulted from keeping the gasbag at the appropriate pressure to maintain their altitude, but it was as quiet as it got aboard an airship.” i love this, mostly because i can relate to it? i’m really used to driving with music on, but lately i’ve been turning off the radio and driving in silence which is a really interesting experience, especially since i drive an electric car for work which is really quiet most of the time. also it introduces us to the airship!

”neil would eventually man the flight deck for night watch as he didn’t require any sleep” i am immediately invested in this version of neil and want to know EVERYTHING that he is capable of doing

andrew is wearing a scarf that nicky knitted for him!!! that is adorable! both nicky doing this for andrew, but also andrew wearing it!

your description of the monster is amazing. i would love to explore it. on the ground though (i am afraid of heights and not as brave as andrew lol) i saw that you were inspired by the mortal engine series and i can definitely see aspects of this both here and in later portions of the fic although i only watched the movie which was… interesting haha. were there any other sources of inspiration? i found that this reminds me a little of the films ‘alita, battle angel’, and a little bit of ‘castle in the sky’ as well

having little glowing things in their lamps instead of fire? woah that’s so cool

”neil was futzing around inside it with a tiny screwdriver” LOVE the word futzing. i’ve not heard it before, but it feels right. also it’s kind of cute that they are all helping each other out on the ship

algae bricks and beetle bricks? do they just,,, bite into it? because that feels so chaotic to me. lol mix into water and make it into mush? i am currently very grateful for the food i have

”jealous, aaron? don’t worry; i’ll come service you once i’ve got andrew settled tonight.” NEIL, YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

”’better do it in the reclaimer,’ said kevin, taking him literally. ‘we need to preserve water if we’re headed to palmetto before our next resupply.’” one of the many things that i love about your writing is your amazing characterization of mr kevin day. what a legend 

”he wasn’t entirely sure why he wasn’t telling the others about wymack’s summons; there was something about it that put him on edge and he wanted to keep it to himself for now.” oh nO this is bad news!! you did a great job of introducing this undercurrent of worry into a scene that had just been so light and funny

“‘yes, i did,’ said andrew, keeping his voice steady. ‘last week before we headed into the plains.’” my stomach dropped at this point, memory problems are always so scary because it’s so hard to tell what the source of the problem is. andrew’s calmness is directly contrasting this, but it feels like it takes effort which is even scarier!

”andrew had spent his childhood shutting down any emotions. they’d been a liability in the type of life he’d led” and ”he had been destined for a short life with a brutal end. sometimes that seemed preferable to how much caring about other people could hurt. he often cursed those responsible for how his life had changed” ahhh this is so sad, but also really soft? because he’s come so far? and he’s opened himself up and let himself be vulnerable by caring

hearing the backstory of the twins is so interesting to me, you do a great job at both establishing this world that these characters are living in and how they fit in with it

”andrew was left with little choice but to do something nice to shut him up” i think this is one of the most andrew-like sentences to be ever written haha

”by all rights he should have died in the slums, but instead-and andrew was never sure exactly how he’d done it-he’d attached himself to andrew and aaron, like a barnacle that they couldn’t remove and grudgingly came to care about” cute!!! the tone is really andrew-like too

woah all these languages are pretty cool! i like the idea of having a common trading language, and the idea of having mandonese and spanglish is interesting.

”that seedy is mine” I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THIS AT FIRST BUT THIS IS SO FUNNY. lowkey reminds me of the lego movie haha. also seems fitting of kevin to collect ancient artifacts, even if he doesn’t really know what they do

ANDREW AND AARON AS GANG LEADERS YES PLEASE. i absolutely love it when people have such a great reputation. very exciting to hear that drake is not going to be an issue in this fic!!! wait a second… andrew and aaron were 16? so small!

hmmm i am interested how kevin got stuck in shanghai?

bad news that wymack is asking neil to stay on the ship. all this mystery and hiding is making me feel like things are not looking so good

”he’d forgotten again that it was bee whom andrew wanted him to see” NOOOOO

ohmygoodness the usbee. do they pronounce it uzz-bee? because that’s definitely how i picture them saying it and it is so funny to me. 

”i informed you that people are after you because i actually care about what happens to you, you miserable little gremlin” i really can never say it enough, but i love the way you use affectionate insults like this so so much.

”’oh, you know,’ said andrew idly, ‘those that slay together slay together.’” NO BIG DEAL. 

”a nobody who got the drop on you. better luck next time” NEIL I KNOW THAT YOU REALLY CAN’T HELP IT BUT PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF AROUND SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW IS SO DANGEROUS

”’this time, it was eavesdropping,’ said neil brightly” he’s so enthusiastic!! cute!!

”how do you travel now?” i am also interested in this!! for all i know, he just slides through shadows and pops up wherever andrew is haha

”neil flicked his fingers dismissively. andrew’s eyes narrowed at the performance. he wasn’t this dramatic, was he?” i am very sorry to break it to you, but andrew minyard you are one of the most dramatic people ever

ooooh dang neil is good. does his android body not process poison? also where did he get the knowledge that andrew was going to be set up anyway?

”within a few hours neil had forgotten the whole conversation, but he retained the knowledge that andrew had forced him to see bee and wasn’t happy about it” noooo why is this happening, it’s so heartbreaking to see neil forgetting things (also feels extra-bad because alzheimer’s runs in my family and this could definitely be me in the future which is Scary) and i Hate when andrew and neil are fighting because andrew is just trying to take care of neil!!! ;-;

”mickey, the mouse-shaped god of old america” OHMYGOODNESS

as startling it must have been to andrew, hearing about the moriyamas previously owning neil, i’m curious what was going through neil’s mind during this conversation. it must be so disorienting, not remembering your past. all of a sudden, you just started existing

”’shoot them. escape on the monster,’ said andrew. that was their usual plan for hostility they didn’t want to deal with.” i mean, i guess that’s a pretty solid plan. LOL

ohmygoodness katelyn also having red hair and blue eyes? “andrew always pretended not to notice that he and aaron had suspiciously similar taste in people, gender notwithstanding” LOLOL

”neil’s tension was ratcheting higher the longer they stayed in the region, something which he wouldn’t explain to andrew’s satisfaction.” ahhhh we! need! better! communication! what is neil hiding?

I HATE THAT NATHAN IS GOOD AT ACTING. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BELIEVE HIM SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I KNOW HE’S LIKE SUPER SUPER EVIL AND IS GOING TO HURT EVERYONE NEIL AND ANDREW KNOW. 

thank you andrew for knowing better and for always thinking ahead. i feel like i can really trust you to take care of neil (and you, gluupor to take care of these characters even if sometimes you break my heart while doing so)

andrew: mawp mawp mawp mawp mawp mawp (LOVE THIS)

”wymack had always said it was because andrew had a death wish but it was really just because he liked going fast” this is really cute! both in this fic and in the series, andrew is like this and he had so little enjoyment as a child, was forced to grow up so quickly, and i’m grateful that he gets to have these little things

”’’M not,’ muttered andrew, too hot to put any effort into lying” so cute!!!

”stop and take a look? sure, why not? i don’t think we’ve got anything else pressing taking up our time right now” I CANNOT GET OVER HOW FUNNY THIS FIC IS

”’old news,’ said aaron. ‘we’ve moved on. now we’ve decided to crash into the sea’” it turns out that sometimes i actually really like aaron! now is one of those times.

oh my goodness, neil speaking only spanglish and BITING. “neil spat several curses at him before literally spitting as well” the scary thing is, this is still in character for neil haha

that’s so sweet of wymack to give andrew his ship!! ahh he’s such a soft character and i’m glad that all the foxes have someone who is taking care of them

what a beautiful way to wrap up this fic! also i feel strangely glad that nathan wasn’t actually the one to invent the tech needed to create neil. he’s too gross and evil to create such an intricate and wonderful person like neil.

BURIED IN ASH FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS WHAT

WAIT VALLEY OF SILICA LOL

oh dang yellowstone supervolcano. i’ve learned a tiny tiny bit about that and it’s actually pretty scary thinking about the consequences of it erupting and also knowing there is basically nothing we can do to stop that from happening and also very little we can do to predict it

andrew and neil are so so cute ahhh

also quick shoutout to the amazing art featured in this fic! so beautiful.

i love the flashbacks that you include. they provide valuable information and understanding of how the characters have developed, but it also gives a bit of a break from the intensity of the main plot. we get a little time to breathe and recover.

as the story travelled to different areas of the world, it was really interesting to see how you included history into it. i think my favourite story was the volcano and the ash-winter that followed. kind of scary to think of the possibility of that actually happening, because even though we have pretty cool tech, i don’t think things would go well. you do such a great job with your world-building, i never found myself confused about what was happening, the geography of it, the new tech, and the politics. i loved how you were able to smoothly include canon events/characters/things and have it work so well within this au.your descriptions are so so good and make this fic really immersive, i feel like i’m experiencing them with the characters.

definitely one of my favourite things about your writing is how you consistently do such an amazing job of incorporating humour and little character quirks into the fic. it really shows how much skill and talent you have because it’s always effortless and reads so easily. it fits well with the characterization and tone of your fics. i will forever be a fan of your dialogue and all the interactions between everyone seemed so realistic.

i’m continually impressed by your consistently marvelous storytelling. you manage to captivate me no matter what subject you choose. thank you so much for writing this!!

#above the clouds #aftg fic review #raelle writes

[hyphypmic]

HypMic: Abusive Parents

Anon requested: Hiiii! Can I request BB/MTC/Matenro/FP where their S/O had a very abusive childhood and one day the parents saw her and beat her up on front of them but S/O is just so scared to even move? Sorry if you don't want to do this it's ok! I suddenly feel angsty haha

Oh my god 

Ichiro

Okay I think he would get right in between, but he wouldn’t punch, he would glare at them and whip out his hypnosis mic

But then he would threaten them first and ask them to back off or they will regret it

And if they don’t want to back off, he would go for it with the microphone and make them regret it

He would definitely make sure they wouldn’t go near you again and he swears that as your protector

And he asks you if you want to call the cops on them and he does or doesn’t depending as you want

Then he comforts you and helps you out, so he would really talk to you about how he always wanted parents to love their kids because his were taken away from him at an early age

And he hated that some parents took children for granted and all that

And you feel better for him for standing up for you and being supportive

Jiro

He would grab her and pull her away then get in front of the parents

Then he would get so mad and he might even physically go at them

He also brings out his mic and would flat out destroy them

Because he’s angry and a teenager with no parents, so of course he wouldn’t want his perfect idea of parents to disappear from him or from his brother

And then he would take care of you after by taking you somewhere to distract you until you’re ready to talk about it because he won’t do it until you’re ready to talk

Saburo

He would pull you away and just quickly do a hypmic attack and then help you get away

He’s not exactly scared, though the idea of facing parents is such a concept to him

But then his hypmic rap would be about how he’s an orphan and all that and people like them don’t deserve someone as amazing as her and his rap would ruin them and make them fall to their knees

And then he would let her talk it out and he would patiently listen

And if she cries, he’ll just hold her until she stops

Then she takes her to his home and then they play video games until she’s laughing again

And the older Buster bros help patch her up and Jiro promises that saburo would take care of you pretty well

Samatoki

He grew up with an abusive father, so he’s somewhat triggered

But then he snaps out of it and then literally gets in between and beats up both parents if they’re both abusing her

Because he doesn’t want her to still have what he used to have and he can’t fucking take it

And not only does he beat them up, he fucking ruins them with his microphone and he swears if any of them step near her, they’re good as dead

Like he beat them within an inch of their life and dragged them to an alleyway where he’s just fuming in anger and he calls Jyuto to have these fuckers arrested

And Jyuto doesn’t even question it because of the pure rage

He doesn’t leave until the cops come and take them away

And then he just comforts her and takes care of her at home because he knows how vulnerable she can be at that moment

And his anger is still there and she’s kind of scared, but he cools down

And then he apologizes for acting that way, but she understands, given what happened to him and Nemu in the past

Then he tells her about his worst moment with his dad, but the happy memories with his mom

And they kind of just exchange stories and they have the sad game of “who was abused more”

But it’s comfortable and she’s thankful for him and all

He teaches you how to fight back and encourages you to stand your fucking ground if they ever touch you

Jyuto

Flat out arrested

He somehow manages to give them a worse sentence than what is usually given to abusers

And when he sees it in front of him, he pins them to the wall immediately, hits them with a rap and then handcuffs them

Jyuto is pissed as hell, but he figures that giving them the right punishment is good enough and he’s smug about it that he makes it extra tight and roughs them up quite a bit, along with threatening them with more punishment while arresting them

He lets them sit in a cell for a long time and then has them transferred to a really terrible prison

He comforts you and let’s you talk about it

He’s happy you have a sense of satisfaction, but is very much willing to like let them out if you asked him to

This reaches Samatoki and the yakuza boss is in a fucking rage and it takes a long time for him to cool off

Riou

He steps in between them and when they try to hit him, he just disabled them so easily and doesn’t bother hitting them

He immediately pins them to the wall and has a very big monologue about how abusers are the worst type of people

That monologue is said into a mic... so yeah they’re quite dead

And he’s so strong he manages to throw them away in the alleyway and call Jyuto to arrest them

He would then comfort you and have a long walk in the woods in silence or while you talk, depending on your preference

And he would patch you up and make you food so that you would feel better and all that

Ramuda

He would get in between and them and confuse them with his cuteness

Then he would reveal his true self and they’re scared as fuck

He raps and it’s one of his more intense attacks and it leaves them with nosebleeds and a big headache and it’s like their minds exploded

No really, people in the surrounding area gained because Ramuda’s rap was so intense

He was close to killing them, but he stopped because he wouldn’t do that in front of you, and it looked like you didn’t want him to anyway

And then he would take you out for ice cream or something so that you would feel better

You’re so blown away by Ramuda and all that

And Ramuda promises that if they touch you again they’ll be deeeeaaaaddd~

You have no doubt he would follow up on that

Gentaro

Would probably pull you away and get in between

He wouldn’t pull his hypmic or go physical

He would then talk the way he usually does, giving half truths that torment them

In other words, he threatens them so well that he doesn’t need to attack them and they’re fleeing for their lives

He tells her that only ten percent were lies and he will protect you with all of him

And then he would help you patch up your wounds and let you find some peace and quiet because he’s Gentaro that way

And he would then also wax poetic about how great you are and you deserve parents who are willing to take care of you and love you

He would tell you how amazing you are and the fact remains that you’re gorgeous and all

Dice

He would get in between and just push them hard so that they fall on their asses

Then he either whips out his mic or not, depending how mad he is

He’s basically snarling at them and threatening them to never touch you

Because he swears he would beat them if they touch you again and he threatens them well

And then when they’re away, he patches you up and then talks about his own childhood

And then he makes you laugh by being his regular dumbass self

You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to and he understands that, but he’s always ready to listen

So if you wanna laugh, go laugh, and if you don’t want to, then he’ll hold you

Jakurai

Please don’t do this in front of him you might die

No really, the glare that they see from his is fucking legendary as he tells them to stop and gets in between

They know who ill-DOC is and that’s your boyfriend

And they’re scared as fuck when he brings out his mic and doesn’t do anything beyond threatening them and telling them to get the hell out of Shinjuku because he will know if they do come anywhere near, and he’ll be there to intercept

If they cooperate, great, if they don’t, the next thing they know is that they have a switchblade presses to their veins and jakurai tells them medically just how slow they’ll die from choking on their own blood

And then they run away

Then after that, he softens and patches you up because you deserve to be cared for

Then he lets you talk about it and doesn’t force you to move until you’re ready to move or comfortable with doing anything

And then he promises he’ll protect you if you need it, but encourages you to learn a few self defense moves from him

Doppo

He’s the type to grab you and pull you away from them

Then he would apologise and all that for whatever reason because he’s intimidated

And like he would actually step back because he’s anxious and all that and isn’t really sure on what to do because he’s nervous and all that

And then they insult him and that’s fine, but they get to you and have a select words he hates

Then he would get the courage to stand up and yell at them and then bring out his mic

And he would rap about your amazingness and beauty and how that if they dare come near you again, matenrou will be on their asses

And they’re running away after being beat

Actually no they’re passed out and Doppo calls the cops on them

He then apologizes for being a wimp but then promises to do better if it happens again

He then takes you out to make you feel better and would just do his best to make you happy

Hifumi

He grabs you and pulls you away, he takes some hits to his body and then like faces them with his mic

He would protect you with his life so he goes for it and beats them with his mic

And then he brings you away to get a couple of drinks, regardless of what time it is

And you would sit there, just talking for hours and hours about anything or about the incident if you wanted to

And Hifumi is a big puppy and he’s cuddling you and making sure you’re smiling and laughing again

And he just wants you to be happy, so he tells you funny stories and all that

But tells you very seriously that you do deserve to be loved and that you shouldn’t take that abuse and that it’s so wonderful that you’re still generous and kind, even after the way they treated you

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #headcanon #tw: abuse #abusive parents #hifumi izanami #doppo kannonzaka #jakurai jinguji #matenrou #fling posse #ramuda amemura #daisu arisugawa #yumeno gentaro #mad trigger crew #samatoki aohitsugi #jyuto iruma #riou busujima #buster bros #ichiro yamada #saburo yamada #jiro yamada

[kumkaniudaku]

Daddy Duty

Next Chapter >>

A/N: You know I rarely start a story without a note to y’all. Daddy Duty was originally a short drabble that wanted to make into a slightly longer fic. The first draft was 4,000 plus words. I wasn’t even halfway done. So, it’ll be split into a series because you know I love a good series. Here’s part one. I figured, what better way to celebrate my birthday than with a little fluff. The rest of the series should be out tomorrow. Good night and thank you to everyone that sent me birthday wishes. All of you are amazing. And even if you didn’t, you’re still amazing. I’ll shut up now. 

Word Count: 2,150

Warnings: Cursing. 

Your body bounced up and down, one breast free from your button up and bra, as you walked around your bedroom looking for your shoes. The second go at motherhood taught you that a child feeding from your breast didn’t stop you from completing daily activities. In five months, you’d learned to cook, clean and complete simple hygiene tasks with your son attached to you.

“Slow down, Noah,” you giggled at your baby boy. “Mommy has plenty to share.”

“Good, ‘cause I got next.” Chadwick’s long arms wrapped around your waist to pull you against his chest. His chin dropped to rest in the space between your shoulder and neck to observe his son.

“You hear Daddy being silly,” you cooed, catching a glimpse of a smirk from Noah. “Daddy’s a baby, too.”

“I’m not being silly; I'm serious. He’s gotta learn to share one day.”

“The milk is for him,” you scoffed, accepting his kiss on your cheek before he moved to sit on his side of the bed.

“I don’t want the milk. I want the titty. I miss it.”

“You just had one in your mouth last night before you went to bed.”

“Is this not a whole new day,” his smile grew at the memory of burying his face in your chest as much as you would let him the night before. You rolled your eyes in response.

“Alright, AJ, that’s enough. You’re just eating because it’s there, not because you’re still hungry.”

Noah’s small whine was nearly enough to change your mind and allow him to feed for as long as he wanted but, you remained strong. Chadwick offered his assistance by motioning you over and grabbing his son from your arms.

“Mama’s gotta go, son. She’s leaving us to fend for ourselves.”

“Don’t tell him that,” you exclaimed while hitting him in the back of the head with a pillow. “I’m only gonna be away for the day, and I already feel bad about it.”

Despite your reluctance and initial decline, you agreed to help Yvonne with an event she was planning. After leaving your position with the Sparks to focus on your family, the opportunities to work on your terms came rushing in. The Lakers and Clippers were still in negotiations with your representatives to bring you in as a special consultant, and Yvonne frequently used you for your clerical skills when you had a free moment. You assumed being a stay at home mom would be enough to fulfill you but, you still felt the tug to work outside of your home.

“Aww come here, baby,” Chadwick shifted Noah to one arm to make room on his lap for you. With a pout, you slid into the open space and rested your head on his bare shoulder. His kisses to you hair and forehead worked double time to cure your worry and guilt. “You don’t need to feel bad. You’ve been taking care of two kids non-stop for five months. It’s okay for you to go out and work for a day.”

“Yeah but, my babies. Who’s gonna take care of my babies?” You knew full well what you were doing. Looking up at Chadwick’s frown made you giggle in satisfaction.

“Haha, my wife is so funny. Get off me,” he joked, helping you stand to your feet. “I’m on Daddy Duty today so, you know we gon’ be alright. Nothing but candy and cartoons all day. Right, CoCo Jr.?”

Noah smiled a gummy response to his father’s playfulness, not completely understanding what was happening around him. His golden brown skin, just a few shades lighter than his father’s, matched your’s to a “T.” His brown eyes and button nose looked copied and pasted from your face to his and resized to fit a baby’s proportions. You prayed for a baby that resembled you in some way, and God blessed you with a twin of your own. But, only in physical appearance. Noah’s laugh was boisterous like his father’s, and their facial expressions often mirrored each other’s. While you had your personality twin in Micah, Noah was Chadwick through and through.

“So that means you’ll be calling me to complain by 12:30?”

“You’re acting like you won’t be calling to check in by then anyway.”

“Oh no, sir,” you hands extended retrieve Noah as you walked through the threshold of the bedroom into the hallway. “I won’t be calling. You, on the other hand, have a monster that needs to be awake.”

Chadwick followed your head motions to Micah’s room and groaned. He’d forgotten about how his precious little girl could act in the morning. Usually, he’d let her sleep in on the weekends, but she had a ballet class that she needed to get ready for. Fixing his facial expression, he turned his head to you and flashed his bedroom eyes.

“Can you do it, baby? You’re so beautiful and loving. Did I mention smart? And your cooking-”

“Nuh uh, you’re on Daddy Duty right? Task number one is showing me you can handle the monster you created. Move along. She’s gotta be dressed before I leave.”

“And when do you leave?”

“Ummm,” you took a look at the Piaget watch on your wrist to judge the time. “In about...thirty minutes.”

“Thirty minutes!? It’s gon’ take ten to get her awake!”

“Then you better hurry. This is test number one.”

You giggles as Chadwick turned on his heels to start the dreaded trek to his twin’s room. Micah was a well-documented morning grump. It was a daily battle to get her up and ready for school, one that you had perfected, but not without your share of mishaps. If Chadwick was going to succeed, he would need to shed his sweet parent persona and put his foot down.

“You wanna see Daddy try and wake up your big sissy? You think he can do it,” You asked Noah, receiving a spitty gurgle in response. “That’s what I said. No chance.”

Stepping closer to the door, you could hear the battle getting off to a shaky start. Chadwick had managed to pull Micah into his lap, but her body stretched across his arms like a wet towel as he tried to get her to respond to his pleas for her to wake up.

“C’mon, Princess. Daddy really needs to get you dressed before Mommy leaves so she can make you breakfast. You want french toast, don’t you?��

“Nuh uh,” she huffed, clamping her eyes shut and crossing her arms.

“Micah, don’t do that. I promise it won’t even take that long. Your hair is already pretty, and you took a bath before bed last night. All you have to is put on your outfit, brush your teeth and wash your face.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Micah Noelle,” your voice started both father and daughter as you stepped further into the room. Micah’s head popped up immediately, knowing the tone you were using only led to two possible destinations: getting dressed or getting spanked. “Get up and get dressed, now. We will not tell you again.”

The lanky child quickly shimmied from her father’s lap to shuffle out of the room and into the bathroom down the hallway. You gave Chadwick an amused look and shook your head.

“Tip number one: don’t give her an option. You can’t always be the nice guy, baby. She’s stubborn.”

“Sound like someone else I know.”

“Yeah, but you’re getting better. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

He couldn’t help but smile at the way you flipped his insult back to him. While he chaperoned Micah’s morning routine, you made use of your extra time to finish breakfast for the house. With Noah in the baby carrier against your chest, you maneuvered around the kitchen preparing french toast and fruit for everyone with teeth. Quick feet rushing down the stairs did little to prepare you for the brown body speeding into the kitchen and crashing against your legs.

“I see my diva is finally dressed. Do you like your new leotard?” Your hands ran over Micah’s “lemonade” braids, making a mental note to tell her Chadwick to take them out before you got back home.

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you,” she half-heartedly replied, more focused on playing with her brother’s fingers and getting his attention for a smile.

“Can I get some of Mama, too?” Before you knew it, all three of your babies were attached to you and soaking up their last few moments of your warmth. Chadwick ran his hand over Noah’s head and sighed. “We’re gonna miss you, baby. I hope you know that. We love Mama, right kids?”

“Yeah,” Micah exclaimed, setting off a nonsensical barrage of babbles from Noah. Your laughter turned into a sad smile as you looked at your family. Was leaving a good idea?

“I know. It’s only for a day, and I’ll miss yall, too. Don’t forget about me.”

“How could we forget about the lady that gives the best kisses and hugs in the whole wide world,” Chadwick spoke into the crook of your neck before kissing you.

“And paints the best nails.”

“I thought you said I paint the best nails, Twin?”

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, daddy.”

Your family moment was interrupted by the beep of your alarm alerting you to the moment you weren’t looking forward to. “Well, it’s time for me to go. If only I had three people to walk me to my car. A big strong man, a cute little girl, and chunk baby preferably.”

“Ooh, I’m a cute little girl! And AJ is a chunky baby.”

“Then who’s the big strong man,” you inquired, looking between her and a smiling Chadwick.

“I dunno, but daddy is here. He can come, too!”

“Woooooow. Okay, I see how it is around here.”

The light banter continued to the driveway, temporarily making you forget that you would have to leave for a full twenty-four hours. When you reached the end of the paved path, you and Chadwick made the switch off, trading Noah for your overnight bag and crossbody purse.

“See you later, Boop,” you cooed, kissing her nose and smoothing her hair. “See you later my little Pookie,” Noah giggled at your silly faces and raspberries against his cheeks. “And my big Pookie,” Chadwick was the last to receive affection, relishing the opportunity to kiss you like he would never see you again. His free arm snaked around your waist, pulling your body into his to get you as close as possible. The whispered ‘yuck’ in the background made both of you giggle as you pulled away.

“Be safe, girl. Come back home to me. To us.”

“I will. I promise.”

He pressed another kiss onto your forehead before opening your car door. “Alright kids, blow Mommy kisses. Tell her bye.”

“See you tomorrow, babies. Aaron, Noah has enough milk to last until I get home. Try giving him some of the baby food I made. They’re in glass jars in the fridge. Take down Micah’s braids and put her hair in a bonnet. Make sure-“

“We got it, we got it,” Chadwick assured. “Dad can handle a day by himself. Call me when you get settled.”

The realization came crashing down on you that an entire 24 hours without a loving hug or kiss from your three favorite people, turning the corners of your lips downward. “I love you. I’ll miss you.”

“We miss you already, baby,” closing your door, Chadwick poked his head through the window for one last kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you. Kiss the kids for two times for me tonight.”

Nodding in agreement, he stepped back to allow you to back out of the driveway. Solemn silence sat over the three remaining members of the Boseman clan as they thought of what life would be without you for the remainder of the day.

“Well, kids, what are we gonna do without Mommy today?” A shrug from Micah and a short grunt from Noah didn’t provide many answers. When Chadwick opened his mouth to speak, a foul aroma threatened to trigger his gag reflexes. “Oh, my-what is that?”

With her thumb and index finger pinching her nose, Micah offered an answer. “I think it’s AJ. He’s stinky!”

“Boy, what is your mama feeding you? You smell like a grown man. Is it on your legs, too? You couldn’t give me two hours of calm before you shi-pooped all over the place?”

“Did you say a bad word, Daddy? I think you did.”

“Go inside, Princess. Find your ballet shoes and finish your breakfast,” he quickly responded, turning Micah’s body toward the house. Following his daughter, his took a peek at the soiled area at the bottom of Noah’s onesie. “This is ridiculous, AJ. How you get it on your back!?”

                                _____________

TAGS: @njadont @k-michaelis @wakandanmoonchild @idilly @texasbama @afraiddreamingandloving @inxan-ity @daytimeheroicsonly @onyour-right @brianabreeze @sisterwifeudaku @ironsquad @killmongerdispussy @90sinspiredgirl @willowtree77785901 @maynardqueen101 @heyauntieeee @halfrican-heat @purple-apricots @lalapalooza718 @blue-ishx@profilia @ljstraightnochaser @girl-wtf-lmao @dramaqueenamby @royallyprincesslilly @melaninmarvel @thiccdaddy-mbaku @lavitabella87 @purplehairgawdess @unholyxcumbucket  @airis-paris14 @uhlxis @oshasimone @maliadestiny​ @drsunshine97​ @cozyshack2​ @zxddy-panther​ @queentearra​ @skysynclair19​ @retro-melanin​ @mermaidchansons​ @misspooh​ @melanisticroyalty​ @babygirlofwakanda​ @wakanda-4evr​ @sarahboseman​ @karensraisns​ @blackmissmarvel​ @wakandankings​ @kaykay4454fan​ @ororowrites​ @awkwardlyabstract​ @mixedmelanin​ @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers​ @sunflowerpsalms​ @panthergoddessbast​ @justanotherloveaffair​ @jaeee-http​ @iliketowrite1996​ @blackpantherismyish​ @thompettiedatheaux​ @msincognito67​ @reignsxjackson​ @yaachtynoboat711​ @syreanne​ @ilcb7​ @minim236

#chadwick boseman #chadwick boseman imagine #chadwick boseman fan fiction #chadwick x reader #chadwick boseman x you #chad x coco #coco x chad #black panther fics #black panther fan fiction #black panther fiction #black panther #black panther fanfiction

[berrysphase]

Nirvana in Fire rewatch liveblog part 5

Episodes 12-14, or, OW MY HEART

I love all these little cuts to background characters reacting. Here Li Gang and Mu Qing are listening as MCS is modestly disclaiming his knowledge down to Master Zhou; Li Gang looks as 'I am discreetly and loyally sad on my poor chief's behalf' as one might expect, but Qing's face is super funny and more a sulky "but MCS is da bomb"

Still super ambiguous whether Master Zhou sees through MCS or not.  And he knows it, too! That faaaaaaace.

Whenever Nihuang’s investigations are mentioned I am always super-curious to know what form they take.

Hmm, so, the contrast between Jingyan and Nihuang on their takes on Chiyan -- Jingyan is all THEY WERE INNOCENT THE WRONGED AND HONORABLE DEAD ARE WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE and Nihuang is all prefaced with careful hedges, look -- I can’t know -- I was young -- but as far as I know before she gets to the central they would never. Even to someone she thinks is probably Lin Shu! Anyway, is it any wonder Nihuang and Jingyan weren't closer friends at the start of the show.  And throughout this, MCS says "Jingyan" but Nihuang says "Prince Jing".

So this time through I have SLIGHTLY MORE EMOTIONAL PREPARATION for this scene which means I have the perspective to track that, waiiiittttt, he went into this conversation completely aware that there was no way around telling her that he was Lin Shu, and yet he couldn't get himself to do it, he fenced three rounds with her and stonewalled her until she broke down and accused him outright, and even then he didn't so much admit it as...not deny it in increasing amounts of extremis. MCS your self-loathing is hurting the people you care about :(

“I never expected that you would be the first person to ask me this” WELL WHO DID YOU EXPECT THEN MR BLINKERS

“I will tell you in full if we get a chance in the future” LIN SHU YOU ENORMOUS LIAR

Oh my god Nihuang's happy-sad smile is the perfect killing end to this whole scene, excuse me, I have to go cry

I love watching Shen Zhui and Prince Jing be competent good government buddies in their time off. They even smile! /draws sparkly hearts

and look what I'd missed the implications of the first time through, Jingyan cautions Shen Zhui to be careful of the Crown Prince; again, see, see, it's not that he doesn't understand politics, he knows perfectly well how to see the dangers and avoid them, it's just that he's been deliberately on strike!

I love (1) Shisan's irregular wooden hair stick and (2) that Gong Yu is an equal player in the Jiangzhuo detective work.

Ah, I had missed that Tong Lu does the not-turning his back thing to MCS! That's so speaking. I wonder who else does that no, berrys, you are not going to go back through all the past 12 eps again looking

I know, I know, He Wenqin is a nasty murderous piece of work who undoubtedly has many murders of people who "don't count" to his name, and I do not doubt the justice of his punishment, but the despair of a parent over a child's death is so painful.  thank goodness Minister He is so odious about his extra-legal maneuverings when he actually appears on screen

Ok now it is time to draw sparkly hearts around Yujin and Jingrui too, also, I lovvvvvve Marquis Yan and his austere reserve and his excellent dress sense but ow Yujin :(  I know I’m saying this about every single character arc, but yeah -- knowing the plot means the character interactions are hitting me so much harder this time around, and right now it’s Yujin’s turn.

Ow ok MCS’ face-fall when Jingyan says haha no of course I have business to discuss hurts, these micro-expressions! They are deadly! And here again -- the repressed jump at friendship, followed later by deliberately steering the conversation toward "look at me I am so despicable".

Nnnnnn so Marquis Yan is someone else who feels like he should be dead; that his world died 12 years ago; that he carries a singular burden in his responsibility for his dead.  Very directly a dark mirror for MCS, and a way for the show to hammer home the sheer and necessary ambition of MCS’ plan, the enormity of the stakes he’s playing for -- and the strength of his character.  And at the same time this plotline is adding one more piece of evidence to the mounting pile showing just how much the Chiyan case and the silence around it is still poisoning the country a decade later.

SPEAKING OF MIRRORS MCS plz take note, Marquis Yan is much happier being a functional member of society with renewed family ties, and the course of action he committed to was way way worse than anything you carry out, I’m just saying.

How beautifully character supports plot and vice versa. Yujin! He's perceptive -- because the plot needs someone to notice things, and he's a useful way to keep events moving -- but the beauty of this show is that this is always managed completely consistently as a key part of Yujin's characterization and his arc. Like here, he’s the first outside person to flag that MCS mayyyybe isn’t supporting Prince Yu, hmmm? And it’s not plot-relevant at all, Yujin doesn’t do anything with it, it’s just, this is who Yujin is, the show is giving us him as a whole person.  OK NO but/and, this is all true, but this scene is ALSO here because (1) hope, we have just been getting a lot of the wrong-ness of the status quo shoveled at us, but, look, things are changing; and (2) foreshadowing for Yujin’s role on MCS’ team later on.   AHH this is where I would normally just say I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR but there’s a good portion of the cast for whom it has to be I LOVE TO HATE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR so let’s just leave it here

#nirvana in fire #nif liveblog #this originally had a lot more keysmashes #i really love this show ok

[millepara]

aikatsu friends episode 53 spoilers (aka the weekly Hibiki observation log)

texting and calling Alicia over and over again despite getting no reply whatsoever............ is Hibiki... a stalker? it doesn’t change how much I love her, but that sure would be a new direction for aikatsu....

2 outfits from Hibiki in the first 5 minutes. we’re off to a good start.

LMAO Honey Cat casually does rock-paper-scissors as requested and winner Maika is suddenly nominated to take over the role of The Only Spakatsu Idol In The World. imagine if prichan s1 had been resolved like this!!! it’d be a 10-second long season..... presumably this is some sort of premise for the tv show she’s making but on the other hand.... I wouldn’t put it past Hibiki to actually pick her idol heir via rock-paper-scissors.

...Hibiki immediately tells Maika to cease Friendkatsu in order to go to space for 5 years, and bc they’re only able to send one of them, she can’t see Ema ever again, basically. so it is just a premise for her show. how..... unnecessarily elaborate

Maika rejects her with the coolest line: “I was planning on going to space anyway. But it’ll be together as Honey Cat when I do!” and now they’ve started planning their outer space tour.... Honey Cat is unstoppable

looks like Reflect Moon are the next victims. oh my god a 3rd twin.... A 4TH TWIN.... it’s too funny how Kaguya is losing her mind while Sakuya is just mildly confused AHHH 6 EXTRA TWINS!!! holy crap that’s a lot more twins than twins usually are

for Pure Palette, Hibiki brought a mic that supposedly translates Animal into Japanese. at first I thought, is this cat going to ask Aine to be Friends or what but no...... I shouldn’t underestimate Hibiki’s ability to see into the hearts of mankind, she’s going to use it to TALK TO PENNE

oh my god, Mio just confessed to Penne. first Kazune, now this... is Penne the most romanced character in all of aikatsu? oh my god, “Penne” just asked Mio to “be a pair” with him and move to Antartica. oh my god

Aine’s... fine with Mio marrying her pet penguin... amazing. of course she’s not fine with them moving to Antartica forever, though

AHHH HIBIKI BEING SHY..... I’M DYING.......

and now Hibiki being jealous of how close all of the Friends units are..... I love how she shows every single emotion on her face, and how she also cycles through like 10 emotions in any given second.

wistful Hibiki!! lonely Hibiki!!! I think I really am going to die from whiplash alone if we keep going at this rate

:( Hibiki was too preoccupied with aikatsu before to even find out what things Alicia liked, and she only realized it to regret it just now. that’s pretty sad.... and now a completely flabbergasted expression at PP telling her to just text Alicia and ask what she likes right then haha

she replied!!!!!!!!!! Alicia likes skiing and sherbet. wait, that’s the name of her country too... was it renamed after Alicia’s fav food or does she like sherbet bc she also lives in it......

she invited Alicia on a youtube aitube date!! cute......

DIAMOND FRIENDS PP ARE JUST DOING A LIVE IN THEIR SCHOOL DRESS?? REALLY?! whats the point of winning the Diamond Friends Cup if you leave your 5 billion karat dresses in the closet to collect dust in favor of literally the most basic coord you have...... mmggmhmghhhrh!!!!!!

Aikatsu Friends the song.... why.... it’s not even a saving money w repeat performance thing, they’ve got their new hair and this fancy aura and everything?? I don’t get it.

Alicia answered the phone!!! Hibiki’s getting through to her, I’m so happy...... I don’t get why we’re apparently resolving half the plot of s2 in about 5 eps, but? Hibiki’s happy so it’s ok I guess??

COCO’S NOT THERE FOR TODAY’S CARD?! no!!! bring her back!!!!

Wakaba and more importantly Mirai show up in the next ep. also Aine has... something on her head... which they refused to show in the preview?? it’s probably just some old rock... but it could be an aikatsu/flcl crossover.

#hibiki outfit count: only 3. hibiki expression count: ��

[daehweeb]

@kittehwolfie

Hello! I would like to request an idol ship, if you feel up to it and requests are still up of course! So, my name is Ariel, I love to travel and see beautiful things, I like acting, singing and dancing, but I'm not very good at dancing 😂 I'm very weird when I'm comfortable around people. I love animals and nature. I'm quite trustworthy and kind. People call me quite funny so I guess I'm funny? I get serious when needed though. Sorry this was quite long and detailed. Thank you in advance!

ARIEL + MARK ♡

How you two met: Maybe going on this trip to the national park alone wasn’t the best idea. Sadly, none of your friends had been up for the mini vacation to Hawaii because of expenses so here you were now! Standing at the fork of trail, you didn’t know which path to take.

Did that park ranger tell you earlier to take a left or right at the first fork? Was this even the first fork? Sighing, you took out your water bottle and took a swig, glad that the cold liquid was helping cool down your growing frustration.

Either way you would make it to some type of destination right? You were about to just say “screw it” and go left but then you heard footsteps approaching and a boy walked past you. Before he could get too far, you called out to him.

“Excuse me, sir? Do you mind helping me with something?”

The young male turned around, “Yeah, sure! What is it?”

“Well I’m trying to get to the waterfall, you know that one..” your eyes wandered up to the sky as you tried to recall it but it seemed as if you just forgot everything at this point.

“Sorry I can’t remember the name but I forgot which way I’m supposed to go”

“Oh! Haha you mean the Waimoku Falls?”

“Yes that!”

“I’m actually headed there right now, we’re supposed to take a left” he said with a smile.

“Thank you so much, I was just about to go right” you replied, an embarrassed laugh leaving your lips.

“These instructions are hard to follow, all the rangers just bog them down on you and I swear! Every ten footsteps, I’m supposed to remember the direction it’s crazy” he said while you both began walking.

His statement made you laugh and though the hike to the falls claimed to be two and a half hours, it felt like it was two and a half minutes with your new friend. You had introduced yourself not too long into the walk and found out that his name was Mark. When you introduced yourself, he had said how it truly matched you.

“Woah we’re already here?” Mark was shocked as he hooked his thumbs on his backpack straps and looked up at the roaring waterfall.

“Yeah that was so quick” you said as your eyes wandered up the waterfall from bottom to top. Pulling out your camera, you snapped a few photos before asking him to take some for you to which he gladly agreed.

In exchange, you took some for him as well and were back on the trail again to navigate yourselves to the start once again. Time seemed to pass way too quickly for your liking and when you finally made it to the parking lot, you were slightly sad to part ways with your new hiking buddy.

“By the way, are you from here?” he asked.

“No no, I’m just being a typical tourist” you replied which made him laugh.

“Wow me too! But I was wondering if I could have your number? You’re a pretty...” he hesistated now, not wanting to say anything too brash since he only met you so recently, “dope person. I really like talking to you and and was wondering if we could do it again sometime? Possibly another adventure? I promise I won’t get us lost, maybe I’ll just get lost in your eyes though” he sheepishly said which caused you to blush.

“Yeah, I’d love to hang out sometime again” you said, a shy smile gracing your lips since Mark was cute and funny and kind to you.

Exchanging numbers, you two made sure to keep in touch and met up again the next day to go on another early morning hike together.

What he likes to call you: “baby”

Mark is more of a shy guy to call you nicknames, especially in front of others but if it’s just you two chilling at home and he wants a cuddle or kiss from you, he’ll surely be calling you this and pouting for you if you jokingly refuse.

Extras: Mark absolutely loves traveling the world with you and you could’ve visited every location in the world but his favorite place to go with you (probably ever) is Canada and where you happen to be from! He loves showing you his favorite locations and likes how you can do the same when he visits your hometown.

Wherever you’re performing, expect to see your lovely boyfriend in the crowd. He’ll always give a hug to you and say “good job baby!!” at the end of every show as well!

You guys are always joking around with each other and probably arguing over who is funnier. Mark normally wins, he’s too determined to prove he’s the comedic legend between you two and would make you laugh in the process.

I see Mark buying small trinkets for you as well, keychains to put on your bag and you two would probably have a dog together when you two move in together.

#ariel + mark!! #my requests are always open please send anything in whenever haha #i truly enjoyed writing this so i hope you had a fun time reading it and that it matches your personality! #and tumblr has been screwing me over so like #i typed everything on your specific ask and then it became a funky format #so here you go! #i also thought you and johnny could be a power couple but you and mark would be so cute <3 #idol ship

[whetstonefires]

d gray man liveblog part 4! (part 1)(part 2)(part 3)

No but seriously, Cyril Camelot is the English Foreign Minister and just staged an assassination attempt on himself for an excuse to declare war on the people he just spent a while negotiating an agreement with.

Why? In what way does this benefit the Noahs?

(...why is the name of the country censored, I feel like hoshino-san just didn’t want to try to come up with a plausible European country for England to go to war with in 18-mumblety.)

I mean Bookman says tragedy breeds akuma in his analysis, but they took Japan while it was so emphatically not at war that it had zero foreign relations at all; war is clearly not necessary for the Earl’s bargains to go through apace.

Cyril kind of looks like he just does this shit for fun.

...”the evil man who made the world his enemy” is a fascinating choice of words, Tykki Mik, I really wonder very hard about you.

And you’re right, when he’s not wearing his balloon costume, and talking normally, and buying flowers from little girls, he looks normal! Weird how that works.

Question: is that umbrella he declined so he could walk in the rain Lero? Does Lero have to share the Earl with other umbrellas outside of official monster business, or disguise himself as a normal bumpershoot when out in public? Is that servant another disguised akuma, or a normal person who has no idea?

...it’s probably an akuma.

YAY KRORY WAKE UP!

why so many chain. it’s not like he lost track of who his enemies were in that last fight, even when he was made of blood. rude to chain.

aw he cry. he cry! ;_; he cry for his friends!

this is the kind of sad boy i like. he can be annoying but not in, you know, a murdery way.

holy shit creepy ghost girl?! i...logically must have read this part before but i don’t remember it, damn i was bingeing like a mad thing.

where...where did the poison come from. why is Krory’s arm sticking out like that. what is going on.

Why Are The Order So Bad.

aaaaand cut to the kind of random hijinks that seem intended to lift the mood but tbh they’re kind of too grim in their own right.

lmao alternately this is an excuse to draw kanda and lavi as chibis and Allen with long hair.

If it’s not because of structural damage, why are they moving to a new base? No one’s said anything about the new headquarters being any more secure against frickin’ teleportation. Maybe the Pope just wants the Order distracted with moving chores?

(I like referring to the higher-ups at the Vatican as the Pope; I realize we have no actual evidence the actual Pope even knows any of this is happening, but if hoshino is gonna be having people shout that other people are ‘property of the Pope’ i’m gonna use the word Pope as often as I can get away with because

1) it makes the whole thing more ridiculous b) it emphasizes the European Gothic Via Japan vibe going on here which is at least 20% of the entertainment value and thirdly, ‘Pope’ is fun to say.)

Oh, right, Allen’s ongoing identity crisis! (it only gets worse from here, kid)

The bosses were logically correct to make Cross Marian do his ‘report to Vatican and be responsible’ part before giving him the pay-off of ‘allowed to talk to Allen’ because otherwise he’d just fuck off but damn it’s hard on the kid, being left hanging.

I absolutely do not believe for one second this business with Mana’s past and secret motives was planned before the series started, but that’s honestly for the best; it’s more wrenching when we didn’t have any more reason than Allen to suspect something was off.

...i like when nice clowns adopt people tho... :o(

not telling the brass or their stooge about your creepy extra reflection was a Good Call.

yes link really truly allen is a good kid who is not plotting evil shit. sheesh.

more Potion Accident gags, i’m sorry, i can’t keep up with your taste in mood whiplash and i never liked most slapstick anyway. the bunny ears are. strange.

...never mind who made the ‘talk like a cat’ potion, who packed that box Miranda spilled; that is such an absurd chaotic collection of items organize your shit people. eesh.

Lmao everyone’s #1 creepy ghost theory is, Komui Playing A Dumb Prank.

...okay, Allen’s reaction as the Matron gnaws on his arm, and the fact that everyone’s first assumption is that Allen has annoyed this very sensible woman to the point that she is communicating via teeth, manages to be funny but noooooo, why would you, not Awesome Shoes Lady after she made it through the Level 4 Akuma attack unscathed, come onnnnnn.

okay, uhhh...contagious vampirism zombie thing...lmao everyone gets worried about matron when she bites Miranda, everyone is super embarrassed when Miranda bites Noise, this is just some impressive Not Realizing Shit’s Fucked guys.

okay, zombie horde of various survivors of all the recent massacres.

uh, if this weren’t being dropped at a time of total emotional exhaustion, it would work better. it’s already working better the second time around for the fact that i took a break after the last arc.

considering it comes out monthly and we had a Noah interlude, it probably worked in the original context just fine, but daaaaaamn did this storyline piss me off the first time, all i even remember about it is the rage.

:D Lenalee rescued Tiny Kanda. Who for some reason can interpret her ‘nyah’ sounds.

...how is a stimulant drug contagious via biting.

i remember the first time i read this i naturally assumed the biting disease was derived from Krory. that still would have made more sense.

robot eats notebook, lol...bickering...”my pride won’t allow me to become a zombie” yes allen excellent logic you weirdo.

okay i’m done checking back in when slightly less stupid shit starts happening....

okay never mind the robot’s fireworks blew Allen through a wall, where Krory was suffering in chains, and then the blanket spontaneously combusted, and then there was somebody with an axe...

...and then Allen wakes up and is informed he was knocked out and concludes Krory’s situation was a dream oh come on.

krory is at the door! but being creepy! the robot refuses to open the door out of self-preservation! allen seduces the robot into risking its life!

...

‘this is nostalgic’ with the hero face on i can’t.

okay, so it was Krory, who apparently swallowed the entire bottle of poison, lid included? for some reason?

oh great there’s a parasitic zombie ghost thing riding Reever and sticking its face out his stomach. horror! nope, now played for laughs.

aaaand suddenly veering back into pathos. bonus info about evil human experiments!

...aaaaaand touching bonding moment for the Lees. Aww.

Not only is Komui protective and self-sacrificing, when he isn’t being psychopathic, he has absolved Lenalee of his having sacrificed his entire life to watch over her after she was kidnapped into this.

then a stupid gag! and the ghost does a creepy jealous possession thing! and meanwhile everything is on fire.

et cetera, mood whiplash back and forth at least once every other page...komui starts reciting from memory the names of every single person killed in the Order’s human experiments...

...i don’t think the names are intended as an additional gag, but most of them are fairly odd and many downright improbable, though none truly syllable-mashing outrageous. I’m rather fond of Asia Smet and Oona Boelyn.

a page and a half of heart-rending pathos, and then the robot falls off the ceiling with a huge syringe of ‘vaccine’ it synthesized from Krory’s blood because he was the first infected by the...stimulant...egad, that’s not how any of that works.

and then, and then...anyway then everyone was zombies and the boss from China came in off-panel and fixed everything, as you do.

i truly hate you hoshino katsura, all the more for the fact that i genuinely loved about 15% of that parade of neck-wrenching bullshit.

anyway! that’s all over and done with, we are now on a boat being cute, because allen is using the stolen teleportation Ark that only he can drive to open a door between the old Castle headquarters and this...uh...cave? that they’re moving into.

...oh hey Shadow Of Allen (XIV) is now sporting wings remarkably like the ones Krory had during his drugged vampire zombie freak-out. i bet that means nothing whatsoever.

man whenever Leverrierererererer turns up i hallucinate ominous music. smug assholish ominous music. slimier sounding than the Imperial March, you know?

that’s not just my biases, hoshino-san lights the panels very effectively to create that effect. egad, he’s going to be in command??? is that why the move, because it was easier to undermine komui’s authority if he was removed from his entrenched power base?

...we just covered last chapter that that castle was a leverrier family fortress originally tho. huh.

excessively creepy secret Pope police involved in isolating and depowering Allen.

also lol that is very Japanese-style religious magic going on, that is not what a Catholic ritual binding would look like at all. not that they have as much settled precedent, their demon-fighting standards run much more toward ‘make it go away.’

aw shit komui’s right there and he can’t do shit, best he can get is a promise that ‘if Allen is a good child’ he won’t die.

flashback! aw man allen the first lesson mana ever taught you was to make peace with the dead and let them lie. should’ve listened.

...man allen was a grouchy brat. i wonder what color his hair was, before it went white. haha apparently he acquired his adoptive dad by running away from the circus with him.

pfffffft little allen hated clowns, that achieves the level of actual irony...welp, suicide joke.

aw shit mana was too burned out on grief to cry for his dog but allen could, for the doggie that licked his hand once. imma cry now.

whoa actual conversation with Cross Marian! under the supervision of papal ninjas (known as Crow) within a magic cage of paper. and wow! an actual answer to a question! unprecedented!

...it isn’t labeled which of these kids was Mana and which was (the most recent incarnation of??) the Fourteenth but imma hazard a guess that the one with hair that matches little Allen’s is not Mana.

oh also Adam Puddinghead killed the 14th, i don’t think we officially knew that until now? or maybe it came up when he blew up Edo i don’t recall.

oh my god i was definitely bingeing too hard last time; by the time Cross Marian started referring to the 14th in the second person to Allen my capacity to be astonished or distressed was burned right the fuck out. i was just like ‘yeah yeah figured get on with it.’

it’s actually a pretty dramatic scene, but it’s weird to be getting this shit in straightforward exposition after all this absence of any information at all.

wait “the human implanted with” ... “the host for his revival” ... i can’t tell if Cross Marian is referring to whatever the normal noah transfer process is or some way 14 found of circumventing that.

ohhhhhh man this title page has tiny clown Allen and it is the cutest shit ever.

did i ever tell you guys one time when my mom was two and a half, she had her stage debut as the cutest little pigtailed clown? and she ran onstage toward her daddy just like they’d practiced and the whole audience burst into delighted laughter.

and Tiny!Mom turned to look at them in appalled horror, and u-turned right back around and ran offstage again.

no one had successfully communicated to her she was going to be laughed at by a bunch of strangers. possibly they didn’t expect a toddler to mind.

oh sure Cross Marian, tell the kid the horrifying truth about himself and his dad in the most overdramatic way possible, in front of witnesses, and then when he dissociates in horror just beat the shit out of him until he resets.

the amount of playing abuse for laughs in this series is one of the many emotional strains that led me to drop it the first time.

it’s honestly a contest sometimes who i currently hate most, Marian, you or Labradorito or the Earl. Ech.

‘no idea’ tch. but if you’re saying he implanted his memories into Allen before he died, then...the Earl caught up with the 14th really recently, then?! How long were he and Mana on the run? I totally forgot these details, wow. i suspect some of them will turn out to be false.

...why the fuck are you saying it like this? bastard.

wow CM you almost look spooked by the fact that allen cares more about the possibility that his dad never actually loved him than the prospect of having his mind eaten.

maybe he’d care more about the mind-eating if the 14th was the Earl’s ally instead of planning to use allen as a weapon to kill him? allen is already using himself as a weapon to kill the Earl.

oop, way to get him back on target! “what if i told you you’ll kill the people you care about?”

aaaand cut.

that was like ten chapters’ worth of blather, i need to get more efficient.

#catching up with d. grey man #d gray man #allen walker #d gray man spoilers #oooold ones but hey #abuse of power #idiocy #this writing style is PUNISHMENT #and ceasing to read was SELF-CARE #yet i persist #i am stronger than the me of a decade ago #stg #hoc est meum

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

[chimseoki]

Typing... | 03

Your best friend recommends you to try out a new social app and as you are trying it out you make a new, mysterious friend.

Jungkook x Reader

Idol!au — Online Friends!au

1.5k words

Contains: comedy, drama, and so much more!

.

[100% Battery Fully Charged] Your phone indicated as you ate some leftovers from 2 days ago. Yummy. By that you mean yuck. You’d probably get sick eating the leftovers you’re eating right now, but you didn’t care. You were hungry as fuck. Once you arrived at your apartment an hour ago, you took a long shower, since yesterday you were too tired to do so. The water felt nice and warm against your skin. You even washed your hair since the water felt so good. Feeling relaxed after that, you were now eating in your small round, wooden table with your microwaved 2-day old chicken. At least it’s a bit warm now. Sigh. Taking a bite of it, you finally looked at the mysterious person’s message.

[JJ123456789]: Yeah, my name is JJ123456789!

[JJ123456789]: Haha, just kidding! 😂😂 Sorry about my lame jokes.

[JJ123456789]: My name is actually Jun.

Ah, Jun. A simple name, but still mysterious. One of your many questions about the mysterious person has finally been answered. Now you can call that person by their name and not ‘JJ123456789’. It is only fair that you tell them your real name since they told you theirs. Taking your phone from the table you typed in a message.

[thisusserisnottaken]: You have a really cool name, I like it. My name is Y/n and now I feel like I can properly say nice to meet you, Jun!

[JJ123456789 is typing…]

| Jungkook’s P.O.V |

Going back to when he first saw your message this morning, he had gotten slightly nervous. Once he had seen the question you had asked him a few hours ago, he had frozen in his spot. He could feel his heart about to jump out his chest once he saw what you had texted him. Jungshook. The young boy quickly spits out his mouthful of toothpaste as he placed his toothbrush in its place and ran out of the bathroom. With his phone at hand, he quickly went to Namjoon and Taehyung’s shared room as he panicked, not knowing how to respond to your question. People talked to him through this app often, yeah, but you were the only one brave enough to ask him what his name was. All the people he talked to always referred to him as ‘JJ123456789’. As he saw your question, he panicked. “Namjoon hyung,” Jungkook shook the older boy’s left shoulder as he stood from the side of his bed, wanting to ask for his advice. “I need your help.” Namjoon groaned sleepily at the younger boy. The older boy turned around to face the maknae, slowly opening his eyes to see why the younger boy was waking him up this early. “Jungkook, what do you need help with? What’s wrong?” “You know that app you told me about recently?” “Yes, what about it?” “Well,” Jungkook scratched the back of his head as he looked nervously at Namjoon, “I was talking with a really nice girl and she asked for my name.” Namjoon hears the word girl and a cheeky smile immediately forms on his lips. “A girl?” His eyebrows move up and down as his sleepy eyes look at the maknae with the interest of knowing who this girl was. “Yah hyung, why are you doing that— Please stop.” Jungkook gently pushed Namjoon’s shoulder so he would stop moving his eyebrows that way and just help him with his problem. Namjoon stopped playing and focused on Jungkook, wanting to help him out. “Okay, okay. So, you’re telling me she asked for your name?” Jungkook nods his head, “Yes.” “And what are you going to answer?” “Well I don—” “Jungkook..,” Namjoon interrupts, “We’ve already talked about this. I told you how to act and think if someone did ask you this question. Now, let’s see if you remember what I said when I first showed you the app,” Jungkook gulped as he looked at his hyung slightly nervous. “What were those things?” “Never tell people who I am. Be careful with my words and with what I say. Hide the truth about my life..” “And? What else, Jungkook?” “Be myself.” “Be yourself, that’s right. So why don’t you just be yourself and tell her a name that you feel comfortable with? I’m sure she’s a nice girl so just be true to yourself and don’t be nervous with responding any hard questions. Just relax and think about all the things I’ve told you and you’ll be alright.” Namjoon gave him a reassuring smile and Jungkook smiled back. He felt his hyung has given him the answer to many things. He just has to be himself, but he also has to be careful. Namjoon was just like a brother to Jungkook, all his hyungs were. But he had a special connection with Namjoon and he always appreciates his advice. “Thank you, hyung.” “No problem, Jungkook—” “Guys, please stop talking. I’m trying to sleep.” A sleepy Taehyung sits up and groans loudly as Namjoon and Jungkook have been talking for a good while now. “Sorry, Taehyung. We’ll be quiet.” Namjoon apologizes on behalf of the two of them and the sleepy opened eyed boy just gives them a thumbs up. Taehyung lays back down and goes back to sleep. In just a couple seconds Jungkook and Namjoon hear him snoring in his sleep just like before the younger boy had arrived in the room.

[A couple weeks later]

“Jimin!” Hoseok yells from the car where all of the members are waiting for the last member. “We are going to be late! Hurry up.” Jimin was always the last member to ever arrive. He was always very late. Always taking his time while getting ready, since his hair is the hardest to style on his own. That’s what he always says and complains about. His hair is the frizziest in the morning so he’s always wearing something on his head like a hat, or a beanie. While All the members laughed at the wobbling Jimin that was running with only one shoe on towards the car, Jungkook was smiling like an idiot with his eyes focused on his phone.

[JJ123456789]: Wow, so people there are like that?

[thisusserisnottaken]: Yes, my job can be very frustrating sometimes.

[JJ123456789]: I guess every job can be like that once in a while, Y/n. Hahaha

[thisusserisnottaken]: You’re right on that, Jun 😩👍🏻

[JJ123456789]: [sends a dancing ice cream gif]

[JJ123456789]: Look at how cute!

[thisusserisnottaken]: Oh god, why are you doing this to me Jun? Ice cream is ew. It’s like poop on a cone.

That message got Jungkook to laugh loudly. He knew how you were going to react since you two have been texting each other nonstop the past few weeks. He always stays a bit late so he could talk to you since you make him smile with your messages. Jungkook is starting to feel comfortable talking to you and he enjoys that feeling. All the members stared at Jungkook as he continued laughing at your message. “Still texting that girl?” Yoongi asks with a smirk. “We might as well meet her soon, she’s making our Kookie laugh 24/7,” Taehyung adds. “He doesn’t even laugh that much when I tell him my dad jokes,” Jin said playfully, sad, and annoyed, making all the members laugh. Jungkook was still glued to his phone and he didn’t really listen to what the other members were saying.

[JJ123456789]: Friends can be so lame sometimes.

[thisusserisnottaken]: Ikr! I have a friend called Nicole and she just can’t stop making lame dad jokes all the time.

[JJ123456789]: I have a friend like that too, I get you.

[thisusserisnottaken]: But dad jokes can be funny sometimes.

[JJ123456789]: True

[thisusserisnottaken]: What do you call many babies in a shower?

[JJ123456789]: Bath full of babies?

[thisusserisnottaken]: Nope. A baby shower!

“Hahahahhaha!” Jungkook bursts out laughing, even louder than before and that catches his hyungs attention again. He places one hand on Hoseok’s shoulder as he laughs his ass out, almost falling off his seat. “Jungkook snorted—” Jimin commented as he chuckled, watching the youngest laugh. Namjoon read the message you sent in Jungkook’s phone quickly and chuckled while reading it. “First time I’ve ever heard him snort and it’s all because of a girl.” A special girl, Jungkook thought.

An hour passed and most of the members have fallen asleep. They were all on their way to a photoshoot for the new concept photos of their new album. They are working extra hard for this one and they’re excited for it to release. Jungkook looked around the car and saw all the members asleep, except Taehyung, who was up, playing games, and Yoongi, who was listening to music with his eyes closed. He was still smiling like an idiot texting you as he felt happy doing so.

[thisusserisnottaken]: Hey, Jun?

[JJ123456789]: Yes?

[thisusserisnottaken]: Is it okay if I do something?

JJ123456789: Do wh

Before Jungkook could finish typing his response he saw something pop up on his phone that made his heart stop. His smile faded away as he stared down at his phone and gulped loudly.

[thisusserisnottaken is calling you]

[ANSWERING] 📞

Connecting…

#typing... #bts #bangtan #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeon #bts jungkook #kookie #nochu #kpop #bts ff #jungkook ff #jungkook x reader #ff #kpop ff #fluff #comedy #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts au #bts comedy #bangtan fanfiction #drama #jungkook fanfiction #bts story #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #jeongguk #jungkook fluff

[thattaekwondoblog]

My Martial Arts Story (TKD)

2020.04.26

today i miss my dojang extra... i woke up from a dream where i was supposed to spar but didnt have my dobok?? and one of my instructors handed me a.. dobok skirt?? and i was like? and he was like yeah u right this isnt gonna work sdbsmdfjsdd i dont really ever have tkd dreams (i think bc i usually am always doing tkd) but since i stopped for a bit the dreams are coming out. it made me miss sparring so much :( so below i wanted to talk about my tkd story in more detail. Enjoy!

i've actually always been a martial arts nerd, but moved around/focused on studying too much to commit to one until recently. I was talking to my mom the other day and neither of us can really remember what got me into it. I just remember wanting to be able to defend myself and be/feel strong from a very young age, and i knew martial arts was a way to do that. As a girl I also received a lot of messages that my gender was ‘weak’ and needed ‘protection’, which i really didnt like (it made me hate being a girl for some time). This is why i wanted to try martial arts. I discovered taekwondo when I was around 10 years old at a small dojang in my hometown. I loved the school & the master, who I remember always had a bamboo stick he would play around with when the kids started being rowdy (he never hit anyone, it was just his way to say ‘dont fck with me’ haha). but had to stop going after yellow belt because i was the oldest out of all the kids and i tried to go to adult classes for a while but i remember not liking it because it was ‘too slow’ for me and my mom couldnt drive me to late night classes. I was swimming a lot at the time too (fun fact i almost competed in synchronized swimming as a kid but had to stop due to illness (am totally fine now and it wasnt bad dont worry)). 

I didn’t do any martial arts in middle school, and only had brief encounters when i started high school. I dabbled in kick boxing (which i still love) through an intense week long training while i was on holiday with family, and then did a bit of karate, for which sadly i had not such a great experience with the instructor which made me distance myself from the sport. The instructor brought up a heavy personal life event during class and i broke down (what did she expect i was like 15 and that event was really hard). When my mom picked me up, she shook her head to her and said ‘girls...’ in a very demeaning way, as if me crying because she re-awoke trauma was a result of ‘feminine weakness.’ i have not forgiven that person for that comment yet. she shouldn’t be a teacher if she treats students like that in my opinion. High school was very competitive and intense so i focused on studying and didnt really do sports then.

In college I really want to do more martial arts, but the lack of proper clubs or instructors made it difficult. I then went to study abroad in seoul and thought to myself if i dont try tkd again in the literal birthplace of the sport what am i doing with my life. i had good experiences with classes at uni; the two masters i had had very different personalities (one was very outspoken and funny while the other.. you could FEEL the power of tkd when he touched your arm slightly to place it correctly sdhfskdj he was very nice though). I had to stop because i was focusing on my academic projects though. 

i then graduated and moved to the city, where finally there were plenty of martial arts opportunities! the first thing i did after moving to the city, even before moving into my apartment, was to visit my current dojang. i audited a class and in my head was like ’oh my god i MUST join them right now give me a dobok let’s GO’. I signed up for classes that day. The dojang master (my dad. my father, the love of my life (in the most platonic way)) was a seoulite (we bonded over that) and realized I hadn’t started my job yet so he gave me a discount, which i felt incredibly surprised by and grateful for. I started lessons the next day. at my dojang beginners usually get 3 private classes at the beginning to get the basics down before joining the group. after my first, the instructor said that i was probably ready to go with the group if i felt comfortable doing so bc i already had basics. i went every day until i moved into my apartment, when i had a mental and physical breakdown and got really sick for a week (like.. i dont remember feeling this weak and sick my entire life). 

But thankfully i got better and pushed myself to go to dojang again. and it was hard. it was the summer and i hadnt used my body really in years, if ever at that level of practice. three times a week as Difficult for me, physically. i remember being frustrated that my ego wasnt satisfied haha (i thought i remembered a lot more than i did). but i loved the instructors a ton and practice was a great safe space/stress relief for the other sht that was going on my my life. I do remember that i was ready to graduate from white belt and start feeling better about my moves by the end of that summer (i was pretty frustrated that i couldnt do higher level moves, though mostly at myself). 

i finally got yellow stripe and tkd things went uphill from then. i got to know ppl at my dojang better, started to go to practice more progressively. I got my yellow belt and decided then that i wanted tkd to always be in my life as much as possible. I started going to practice every day or almost every day. my tkd friendships were developing, there were small disagreements too but overall i fell more and more in love with my instructors, the dojang master (again, my dad) and the sport. we laughed so much, sweat so much, lived well.

after green stripe, my self consciousness during practice spiked a bit more than usual. this is probs bc my life outside of tkd was stressful and i was looking at my friend fellow tkd members who were higher level more. i wasnt jealous of them, far from it, i just felt small compared to what they were able to achieve and felt bad that the instructor had to stop to explain the technique to me Again. in case it wasn’t clear, i am no prodigy; i learn slowly and with long consistent practice. the two disagreements i had with my closest member friends (two separate very different reasons; we kept things civil on both sides but having to deal with that was a new experience for me so i wasnt great at it haha) didnt help my anxiety shut up during practice. i still kept at it. in january my school has an attendance challenge where you win prizes if you go every day or more than 20 days out of the month. I almost made it, but got really physically tired & kinda sick 3 days before then end of jan and had to miss one session. i was also mentally drained by life stuff so i decided to prioritize grad school applications and did less tkd in february. but that experience of going every damn day was so fun; i realized I needed to do this so much more. if there was a tkd seminar where they send you off somewhere to to tkd for like 3 months i would be down. that is when i realized my love for the sport, and the significant changes in my body that had been occurring over the past months really revealed themselves. i hear you thinking there’s no way i could fall more in love with my instructors but guess what... spending every day with them really made the love Explode dudes. In jan and fed i also really started loving sparring, even though im not great at it. 

and then... march came. i got lucky to have been able to celebrate my birthday a few days before they decided to close my state down. at first i was still able to go to my dojang with smaller classes and different format of classes that respected health guidelines, but eventually everything was moved online. during that week of limited classes, i got to hang out with friend members and instructors for what would be, unbeknownst to me, one of the last times. one night after (6 feet no contact) starring, me, 2 friend members who also went very frequently and an instructor had a beer on the mats just talking and chilling. we said that we would do it again the week after. and then the state decided to shut down small businesses. i was helping the dojang transfer their classes to an online format with another student for a week (we two were the members with the highest attendance in the recent times), but then the instructors decided they should not let students come in anymore. 

i was angry, i was sad, i was devastated. it was the sound solution to take and all these closings are essential and needed for public health safety, but emotionally i was not ready to let go of the dojang. i was angry at the circumstances for taking away the one thing that i truly loved and kept me going all those months of less than ideal job situation and lost of existential questions. the dojang had been my challenge, my rock, my family. i was especially angry because i had to mourn the loss of it a lot earlier than i wanted; i was already supposed to leave in june of this year. the closer june came the more teary eyed i got when i thought of leaving the dojang, but after the news i had to stop going now... i broke down. i cried so hard and loudly, alone in my room. i realize now it was the first time in my life that i cried because of love. pure, unaltered love. i thought to myself ‘how lucky is it that i felt this amount of love for something and some people’. ive moved a lot in my life but rarely felt sad when leaving a place; i often had made my goodbyes and knew it was just time to go. there were few or no things keeping me back, or i knew i would find those things somewhere else. it was also the first time i had let myself fall in love with something and people only for me. i love studying and learning for example, but when i started doing it it was mostly to make my mom and family happy, not for me. i didn’t feel like i had had a passion that i completely gave in into, a truly ‘me’ thing no one asked me or expected me to do but i just did not to have a better resume or be perceived better by society. until tkd.

now, i am still following online classes but mostly have my own training routine because it’s still hard to deal with the emotional stuff; i dont really do to live classes cause it hurts. it probably sounds strange but ive already done the emotional work of distancing myself to make the leaving less difficult. i also didnt really like the the idea of practicing in my room in front of the camera. seeing the other students on zoom would also make me feel v sad. im slowly getting out of that state of mind though and might start taking online classes again in a bit when i can’t do my regular training routine. im not sure when things will go back to normal but before i leave i will definitely send them gifts and goodbye messages, probably by mail. but yeah as of now i mostly follow my dojang’s videos, do my practice routine, and scroll through tkd tricking videos on instagram to keep motivated.

it’s kind of a sad note to end on but my tkd story does not end here. wherever im headed next I will find another dojang where i will continue to practice. i can only hope it is half as good as the family i found here. and of course now I have this blog! and will continue nerding out about kicking endlessly hahaha.

thanks for reading if you made it this far! you can ask me questions if you’d like! also tell me your tkd story!! its so cool to hear how life lead people to kicking.

#tkd #taekwondo #life story #story #martial arts #kicking #sports #tkd story #me #mind #origin story #lol #taekwondo story #martial arts story #budoblr