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muddyorbsblr · 2 months

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gestures & rain checks

See my full list of works here!

pre-story author's note: Yes I am very aware that it's been a solid month since Valentine's Day. Yes I am still posting this 🫡

Summary: It feels like your friends are getting plucked away from you one by one as their respective (or in Nat's case prospective) partners make grand gestures to ask them to be their Valentine.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warning/s: language (nope still not sorry, Rogers); mentions of alcohol; tooth-rotting fluff; gun use [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Morgan being a precious beb; himbo!Thor hours; lowkey sad Reader hours; chaotic group chat vibes in the end

You always had a distaste for this day. Valentine's Day. To you, it was the one day a year that you would do everything in your power not to step outside because it reeked of flowers and chocolate marked up to the heavens for merchants to take advantage of last minute gift shoppers hoping to make a gesture big enough that their crush would let them score at the end of the night. Or guys buying extravagant and ridiculously large arrangements to make amends for wronging their partner as if a 10-foot tall teddy bear was gonna magically press some Undo button of him going on Hinge or Tinder and talking up a dozen other girls on the side.

There was one year that you let slip around Nat and Wanda that this day "smelled like a cemetery" with all the bouquets that bombarded you the second you exited the perimeter of the Compound. Hell, the second you left the main section that housed you and the rest of the Avengers. And you stood by that opinion stubbornly, mostly because you'd only ever witnessed flowers being given when someone was desperately trying to glue back together the pieces of a severely damaged relationship.

And also because no one had ever given you flowers in your entire life. Or chocolates. Or a teddy bear. All your past relationships were with men who were still mentally and emotionally boys that believed emojis and gifs sufficed and were as good as the real thing. Nary a single soul had ever actually spent a lick of time or effort to give you something that told you they deserved your time and effort in turn.

And after so many years of being barely an afterthought, the day just felt like this entity that you resented to an irrational degree, where all you wanted was to lay in bed and wait it out until the clock struck 12 and it was February 15th. Then you could go on a hunt for all the overpriced chocolate that suddenly got their prices slashed by 50% or more.

That was the plan again for this year, had it not been for both Nat and Wanda barging in to your apartment and practically dressing you up like you were their own life-sized definitely seen some better days Barbie doll. "Come on, we can go and have a Galentine's Day 2. Maybe hit up a club and get some free drinks…" the assassin trailed off, zipping up your dress and playfully swatting your ass to nudge you forward. "March on, soldier."

The common area was nearly bare and eerily quiet when you all got there, which made perfect sense considering that most of your teammates who were happily committed to someone were off spending their day together, probably executing their own personal twists on those cliched gestures of adoration. Knowing Tony, that would probably consist of a two-storey tall stuffed bunny or a lavish new vacation house as a nice private little getaway spot for him and Pepper when they wanted to have a date night.

Only Morgan and Shaun were at the big dining table by the kitchen, the little girl working on bracelets with the martial artist nursing a cup of coffee while he handed her beads to add to her work. "Whaddup, Ten Rings…Baby Stark," you greeted them, ruffling his hair and pressing a kiss to the top of your goddaughter's head. "What're you two up to this fine completely ordinary day?"

"Oof, I take it you're gonna be spending the day watching a bunch of couples be all extra lovey dovey just like me?" You threw him a look, squinting your eyes at him that had him throwing his hands in the air in surrender. "No need to mentally squish my head, Y/N, we're on the same side, I swear," he chuckled, scooting over to the other seat so you could sit next to Morgan. "How about this, karaoke later tonight? Just us and anyone else that doesn't have a date with dinner and co--" You swatted his arm to get him to stop talking, not so subtly signaling in the little girl's direction. "I mean…adult balloons?"

"Wait how come you have special balloons?" Morgan asked, looking up from her activity book and earning barely stifled chortles from both Nat and Wanda. "Why can't I play with them? I like balloons."

You leaned back in your seat, making a motion with your hands as if you were wiping them clean of the whole conversation. "I'm not helping you out of this one, buddy."

He scratched the back of his head, obviously backed into the corner with his own words. "Eeeeeh…put a pin in that and ask me again when you can order a beer, Baby Stark."

The child pouted at both of you, slumping down in her place at the table and slipping back on her princess pink headphones before focusing all her attention on her activity book again, grumbling something about how grownups shouldn't have conversations around her if they didn't want her to ask questions. Valid enough point, but you still weren't going to be the one to give her her first lesson in Sex Ed class a good decade ahead of time.

"Anyways…" Shaun poked at your side, calling your attention back to him. "Karaoke, ladies? We can pick up Katy and Wong before we head over and sing some Disney duets and gorging ourselves on shots and nachos--"

"Hold up, Wong?" You all turned your attention to Stephen, who'd just walked in to the common area. "This I gotta see. You guys have room for one more?"

"Sure thing, as long as you use your sling ring to help us get into Tony's private stash," you quipped, taking a sip of your coffee. "There's no way I'm getting through this day stone-cold sober."

"Or we could go for the really hard stuff and break into Thor's stash of mead from Asgard before he depletes his supply." He showcased the ring in question with a wiggle of his fingers. "Just a portal away."

"I like the way you think, Strange."

"You can all cease your scheming to pilfer my liquor, my friends," Thor's voice boomed into the area, a bounce in his step as he made his way to the coffee pot. "I would happily supply you all with two barrels if that would be enough for your gathering?"

"That's perfect, Thunder. Thanks." You started to tuck into the breakfast plate served by the Compound kitchen staff, mumbling your next question to the blond god. "What've you got planned with Jane for today?"

"Ah." A wide grin stretched across his face at the mention of his girlfriend, the sight both warming your heart and pinching it at the same time. A bittersweet reminder that in the midst of romantic plans with sentimental or grand gestures, your plans involved getting shit-faced with your fellow single friends. Plus Wanda and probably Vision. "Well, I have employed the aid of Wilson to order an ornate bouquet of Jane's favorite flowers which should arrive this morning. Then for lunch I shall prepare her a meal."

"Lunch?" Wanda questioned, tilting her head to the side. "Forgive me if I overstep, my friend, but aren't the romantic plans usually made for dinner?"

"Well, yes…but Jane has graciously agreed to adjusting our schedule for this day so that I may spend the time after lunch aiding my brother in a gesture of his own." A lump formed in your throat at the words. "It seems he wishes to get into the spirit of the holiday, and I am simply ecstatic that he came to me asking for a helping hand."

"I asked nothing of you, you over-muscled oaf," you heard the raven-haired god call out from the main entrance, two large packages hovering a few inches above the ground blanketed with a glow of green from his magic. "You volunteered when you imposed yourself in my space and hovered over my phone."

"Pfft, semantics," Thor waved off, already making his way over to Loki so that he could do some more apparently unnecessary volunteer work. "Are the flowers in one of your parcels?"

"I like flowers!" Morgan chirped from her seat, bouncing in place with bright excited eyes. "Prince Loki, can I help? Please?"

He let out an exaggerated sigh, a trace of a fond, amused smile betraying his facade. "Very well, little Stark. Come along."

Your goddaughter squealed, skipping over to Thor and placing her tiny hand in his. "Uncle Barbie, tell me who his princess is?" He leaned down to whisper the answer in her ear, making her sprint in place with even more excitement. "I promise I won't say a word."

"Barbie? Like your doll, little Lady Stark?" You could practically see the wheels turning in Loki's head from learning about the nickname.

Morgan nodded her head vigorously. "Auntie Y/N came up with it. She calls him Macho Barbie." She proceeded to talk about how you came to give the blond Asgardian the nickname that bizarrely stuck to him more than "Point Break" ever did, said god looking like he already dreaded the coming days -- maybe even years -- now that his brother knew that little tidbit of information.

Once they'd all made their way up the stairs and you could no longer hear the little girl's chipper tone, realization sat heavy in your heart from her reaction to whatever Thor whispered to her just a few seconds ago. Whoever it was that Loki was going to make this grand gesture for, it was someone that Morgan knew enough to the point that she couldn't contain her excitement finding out who the woman was.

It was someone in SHIELD. Maybe even someone in the Compound.

"You good, Babes?" Nat's tone was cautious, approaching you like you were a wounded animal, teeth bared and ready to pounce if she so much as breathed wrong.

You answered with a terse nod of your head. "There is absolutely no fucking way I'm getting through today sober."

"Y/N, dude, I'm sor--"

Bang

"What the fuck?" All eyes grew wide at the sound, your body stiffening as another shot rang out, reverberating throughout the common area. "FRIDAY? Threat assessment," you called out, already readying yourself for combat once whoever was outside made their way to you in the compound.

"No threats have been detected," the AI answered simply. "There seems to be no living target for the gunman."

You could only manage to repeat your words. "What the fuck?" Shot after shot rang out, an interval of three to five seconds between them. Each deafening bang making you flinch, your head spinning with possible explanations on why FRIDAY didn't deem the supposed attacker as a threat. "Where's the target then?"

"Shots are being fired at the training area, by the track field, Agent Y/L/N." You all started to make your way to the area, everyone still on high alert despite FRIDAY's findings.

"Y/N?!" You shared a look with everyone else in the room at the sound of Loki's voice calling out for you, the god looking frantic as he appeared at the top of the main staircase, a sigh of relief escaping him once he saw you standing at the bottom. "You're alright," he exhaled, hurriedly making his way down. The quickening pace of the gunshots had him squaring his shoulders, stepping in front of you and marching toward the sound.

"We've handled way worse than gunfire, Laufeyson, you don't have to lead the defense," you told him with a touch more bite to your tone than you intended, irrational jealousy coursing through you knowing what he was preparing for before he started charging down the stairs. You sidestepped him and started walking toward the training area, brows furrowing together when you saw that from where you stood, the marks from the bullets digging into the ground where forming some sort of shape.

"It's a message…" Wanda mused, angling her head to and fro to see if she could get the whole picture from the ground. "I'm going up, I wanna see what's worth risking Pepper's wrath with all the lawn work she has to commission now." She held her hand out to you, wordlessly offering to take you up with her, an offer that you gladly took, clapping your hand over hers, both of you giggling as your feet lifted off the ground.

Once you two had risen high enough, it was clear what the message was. The shots had been positioned so that the markings would take on the shape of a heart, and the ongoing shots were creating initials. "N…" you read along, barely able to contain your excitement when you saw that the next letter was an R. "Natasha Romanoff!" you yelled out, the assassin's eyes lighting up with a mix of giddiness and curiosity as she tried to look at where the gunshots could've been coming from.

You did your best to turn your head, trying to see who was behind the gesture, kicking your feet in the air once you saw the gunman. "What? Who is it, Y/N?"

"It's Barnes," you squeaked, giving Rogers a reckless wave when you caught sight of him jogging toward all of you with a megaphone in hand.

"Natasha Romanoff," Bucky's voice boomed through the speaker system, making the usually cool and collected former Russian spy put a hand over her mouth to hide the way she was steadily turning pink from how flustered she was. "I know I have a long way to go to make up for how we first met, but I think you're swell and I'd like to try starting it off with maybe dinner tonight?" Both you and Wanda squealed and held each other tight mid-air watching her nod her answer, running over to her once your feet touched the ground again.

"You two won't be pissed if I take a rain check for tonight, will you?" she cautioned, still a wistful tone in her voice from processing what was happening.

"Absolutely not, you go enjoy your date. More drinks to go around and all that," you told her with the biggest smile. "But tomorrow night we're all staying at my place and you're giving us a full report."

"And remember to wear the red lacy underwear," Wanda teased with a comical wiggle of her eyebrows, earning her a poke to the ribs from both of you.

Nat pulled away from the two of you, walking back toward the indoor gym with Steve walking alongside her, starting to talk about how his best friend had been trying to work up the nerve to ask her out since he got sworn in to the team nearly a year ago. From the sound of the conversation, it seemed that Rogers was divulging some information that Barnes probably swore him to secrecy not so long ago.

"And then there were seven," Shaun spoke up, walking toward you and the sorceress and clapping a hand on each of your shoulders. "Thor came through and left the barrels in the kitchen for us."

You were about to start talking about the food arrangements when the sight of Wanda's husband flying toward you all with a bouquet of camellias and hydrangeas in his hand. "Wanda, my love, I owe you my deepest apologies."

"Whatever for, Vis?" She broke away from you and Shaun to greet the synthezoid, placing her hands on his upper arms as he pulled her in for a chaste kiss.

"It did not occur to me that you might have wanted to make plans for today until Mr Stark had gone into detail of his own itinerary today for his wife," he explained, handing her the bouquet. "Unfortunately I cannot procure a reservation for us tonight, but I still wish to do something for you. Would you allow me the honor of making you a meal and perhaps watching a movie in the private theater?"

You and Shaun gripped each other's hands like you were high schoolers watching their best friend get asked out on their first big date, shaking and pushing each other over the sweetness of the gesture. "I don't need fancy restaurants or pretty flowers, Vis. Getting to spend time with you, especially after everything that's happened to us, is more than enough. I just need you."

The Sokovian turned back to face you and Shaun, a touch of guilt in her expression. "Rain check? I'll bring extra snacks tomorrow night to make up for it?"

"Don't worry about it, Babes," you reassured her, both you and the martial artist waving off her worries. "Enjoy your evening."

The couple have you a curt nod and a smile before happily flying away hand in hand back to their apartment.

"And then there were five," you and Shaun said in unison, walking back to the common area to load up those barrels that Thor left for tonight's 'festivities'. When you got to the kitchen area, Morgan was adorably sitting atop one of the barrels in question, feet happily swinging in the air with a big smile on her face.

"Off the goods, little Stark, we're not risking you getting drunk your dad's gonna kill us," Shaun said in a panic, already lifting the little girl up and off the barrel and making her squeal and giggle as she giddily exclaimed "I'm flying!".

"If you really think that she can get drunk from osmosis, we have a lot to talk about, sweet little summer child," you joked, walking up to one barrel and starting to push it toward the garage. "Think you can use that ancient mystical ring magic for makeshift wheels so we don't bust out our lungs lugging this all the way to your truck?"

"I can assist you, darling." Your skin bristled at the sound of Loki's voice, taking every ounce of strength you had to not stiffen or recoil at his use of the word. He was only saying it out of habit. Probably a remnant of his upbringing as a prince on Asgard.

He didn't mean it the way you wanted -- more than anything -- for him to mean it.

"No need, Laufeyson, I've got it from here," Strange butted in, conjuring an energy shield with his magic that he slid under the barrels, starting to wheel them toward the garage. "Carry on. Oh and friendly advice, man to god? Your future girlfriend, you know, the one you're making this big gesture for? She might not appreciate you calling other women 'darling', so I highly recommend kicking the habit while it's still early. Avoiding future battles and all."

The god sucked his teeth, the action causing his jaw to clench and sending your thoughts someplace they had no business being. You had no business thinking about another woman's man that way, no matter how hot he was.

"I will remember that. Thank you, Strange," he said softly, making his way back up the stairs.

"Thanks for the save," you muttered, opening the door to the garage for the sorcerer to guide the barrels through. "Don't think I could've gotten away with being on Bitch Mode with him a second time today. Not like I can help it, though. Some lucky Midgardian bitch is gonna be his by the end of the night."

"Pretty sure you're the only woman I know that considers being Laufeyson's girlfriend a good thing."

"Yeah, Y/N, like I know he's on our side and everything but most days he still has me on edge. Like passing him on a bad day's gonna get me a stab in the ribs, not a death glare like normal people," Shaun concurred, nudging your shoulder to hopefully stop your lamenting before you got in too deep. Again.

"I'm really down bad, huh," you sighed, letting out a little yip when a portal to the dark dimension appeared just a few feet in front of you. "The fuck--"

"Hey Strange," a reverberating ethereal voice called out from the portal, and then a tall woman with platinum hair with beauty that you could only describe as 'dark celestial' stepped out. Her eyes trained on the sorcerer next to you. "Heard that today's something of a holiday in this dimension. Figured it might be a good idea to stop by and maybe you could show me around your uh…" She turned to you and Shaun, both your jaws slack on the ground. "What's this place called again?"

"Avengers Compound?" Shaun said at the same time that you blurted out, "New York?"

"Compound York?" She raised an eyebrow at the two of you, amusement coloring her face as she gave you both a once over.

"Eherm…no," you answered her, chuckling nervously and shifting your weight between your feet. "This structure here is Avengers Compound, which is in Upstate New York. New York is a city, but also a region…and a state…?" you drifted off, already feeling a pinch in your head from trying to explain the best you could. You looked over to Shaun. "The more I try finding the words to explain, the more I realize how complicated it actually is. Save me."

Stephen stepped forward. "How about I just take you on a tour around New York, then?" His face stretched out into a wide grin, clearly unable to hide his giddiness over the knowledge that she crossed dimensions to be with him today.

"Is that…New York the city, the region, or the state?"

"The city. New York, New York. There's a whole song about it and everything I can play it for you in the car." He proceeded to drape his arm around the dark sorceress, leading her to his car further down the expansive garage.

"Your little human friend is right, things here are complicated. Downright confusing." She looked back at you and Shaun again as they walked away, hand in hand. "It was nice meeting you both! Stephen speaks highly of you all," she called out, her majestic voice echoing throughout the area.

"You're really pretty!" you blurted out in response, causing her voice to melt into a chuckle, telling her partner how she found you 'adorable'. You threw your head back and groaned toward the ceiling. "I'm a fucking dork."

"At least you're an adorable dork," Shaun shot back, nudging your shoulder and lightly touching the back of your head to get you facing forward again. His phone chimed with a text notification. "Katy. Her shift's over, she said she'll get us a room for eight. I'm texting her now to get a smaller one." He held up his hand, palm facing you. "And then there were four?"

You sighed, clapping your hand against his, your friend giving you a reassuring squeeze once you did. "And then there were four." You jerked your head toward the apartments. "I'll just go change into something that involves 'eating pants' and I'll meet you down here in ten."

The walk back up to your apartment wasn't that long, but it still felt like it with how quickly you slipped back into your lamenting over how your friends had such an eventful day today. Nat had her very public grand gesture. Wanda had her husband trying to cook human food in the name of spending time with her. Strange had his girlfriend literally rip a hole between dimensions to get here.

"And all I have waiting for me are two barrels of mead and karaoke microphones," you muttered, walking through your front door and begrudgingly unzipping your dress from the back. You were just about to half-stomp your way to your closet when something on your bed caught your eye.

Three shiny roses lined with gold, tied together with a gold ribbon at the foot of the bed. A large heart-shaped box of chocolates at the center. And a little teddy bear dressed as a bee with red antennas that had hearts at the end, at its fluffy little feet was an embroidered message. "Bee mine".

"What theeeee fu--"

"Y/N," an all too familiar voice called out from behind you. The air left your lungs at the sight of Loki in a form-fitting forest green button-down tucked into onyx black slacks, tucking his hair behind his ears before smoothing his hands over his shirt. "You're early--"

"What're you doing--Was this you?" you babbled, gesturing at the gifts on your bed. For a second, your heart beat erratically, the thought that maybe this was for you, before reality and logic sunk in. "Okay I think I know what's happening…"

"You do?"

"Yeah, you got the wrong apartment. Gimme a minute to change and I can help you move all this over to--"

The rest of your words died in a little squeak at the back of your throat, the god closing the distance between you two with a few long strides, framing your face in his hands and placing a tender fleeting kiss to your lips.

"Those tokens of my affection are exactly where they belong, little mortal," he murmured against you, tracing up the bridge of your nose with his lips until he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "As am I."

You let out a shaky breath, fighting against the urge to melt in the god's embrace as he snaked his hands around your waist. "The gesture your brother mentioned this morning…this?" He proceeded to press kisses down the side of your face, his warm exhale as he whispered 'yes' into your skin making you light-headed. "This is for me?" you gasped out, whatever was remaining of your logical brain smacking the rest of you with how stupid a question that was.

"Who else would it be for, darling?" He pressed a kiss to your jaw, tightening his arms around you and pressing your body against his. "There is no other in this or any other Realm that could have captured my heart so completely." He kissed the corner of your jaw, making his way down the side of your neck, holding you tighter to keep you up when your knees finally buckled from the sensation. "I did this for you, because I wish to ask something of you. That you become mine as much as I am yours."

"M-Mine?" you stammered. "Y-You're mine?" Since when? How come you didn't get this particular memo? Could've saved you a lot of turmoil and nights spent alone staring up at the ceiling trying and failing to hypnotize yourself out of being into him.

He kissed the tip of your nose, resting his forehead against yours. "I have always been yours, darling."

Your hands traveled up the length of his arms, like you were grounding yourself and trying to tell yourself that this was real. He was really here and he was telling you the words you wanted more than anything to hear for who even knew how long at this point.

He's here, you thought to yourself. And he's mine.

There was only one word that you could muster up in that moment. "Yes." I've always been yours, too.

Karaoke Dreamin' on Such a Winter's Day group chat

myfirstnameisagent: Don't kill me but…rain check?

busboy10: Are you kidding me, Y/N?? You said you'd be down in 5 minutes tops and we're gonna meet up with Katy.

nromanoff: Sweet, now you're gonna have a story to tell tomorrow night, too.

myfirstnameisagent: Actually about that…rain check on tomorrow night, too? I'm kinda not there right now…

busboy10: There?? What do you mean "There"?? How'd you get out the Compound without me seeing you? Or whoever the hot date you're ditching me for is?

imjustwong: Where is everybody? We ordered nachos.

myfirstnameisagent: Yeah…I'm not in the Compound…or in New York…any of the "New York"s. Might not be for the next week. Maybe more. The three of you better not drink all the mead in one go.

busboy10: ??????

thevision: Agent Y/L/N, my wife is showing many signs of distress over her inability to contact you. Your phone seems to be going straight to voicemail.

thewanda: Y/N WHERE ARE YOU I HEARD A BANG FROM YOUR APARTMENT ARE YOU OKAY??

myfirstnameisagent: Babes, I'm fine. That was just the Bifrost.

thewanda: EXCUSE ME??

nromanoff: BABES WHAT--

pointbreakbarbie: My friends, I heard the Bifrost be summoned near Lady Y/N's abode. Is there an emergency? Must I make my way to Asgard to assist?

myfirstnameisagent: Thor your brother said if he finds you here I have permission to stab you, don't even fucking think about it.

thewanda: I REPEAT. EXCUSE ME???

busboy10: Y/N are you in Asgard?? With Loki??

myfirstnameisagent: Yes. And yes. See you in two weeks.

thewanda: He better use that healing magic on your legs so you don't walk funny.

A/N: It took me a whole month to write this because real life was trying TKO me in the work department and also I got sucked in to the worlds of Hello Kitty Island Adventure, Disney Dreamlight Valley, and Delicious World and I've been too weak to even attempt time management 🤣

I'm working on stuff tho I swear it 🫡 Horny bitches cuts are in progress, stories are in progress…lots of progress 😅😅

Also for reference, this was the lil stuffed bear that Loki gave Reader:

and the roses looked like this:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fluff #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fluff #loki laufeyson fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #muddyorbs writes

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thienvaldram · 4 months

Text

Forgotten Lives Omnibus Lore Dump

Just a bunch of lore related observations from FL1 and FL2

Christopher Barry

The Doctor moves an aberrant era of human history into the Cretaceous era, resulting in at least one ancient human civilisation (Aurelia) existing in that era.

He's married to a woman named Zodin, she is most likely Gallifreyan

He has an enemy known as the Abbot, who is also presumably a Gallifreyan (Described as 'Like the Doctor') who either expended all rejuvenations or was killed with no prospect of rejuvenation at the gallows only to return as a spirit and try to steal the Barry incarnation's body, he is defeated him at the cost of the Doctor’s own life. Causing a renewal.

He is most likely not the first incarnation of the FL cycle, as a newly renewed Banks Stewart expresses familiarity with the difficulties of retaining relationships 'across such a change'

Robert Banks Stewart

He established his bookshop shortly after renewal, and is earthbound there though he seems to also travel in the TARDIS whilst based there. He seems to have done so shortly after the start of the build-up to World War II, definitively pre-Dunkirk.

He has an acquaintance known as ‘The Magus’ who claims to serve ‘The Unity’, The Magus is definitely a Time Lord.

He’s on Earth for at least five years (1938-1943)

There’s a species that lives within the Earth called the Vril. They predate humanity and the Earth Reptiles.

We have yet to see his Rejuvenation as of FL2.

Christopher Baker

This Doctor has two kids, Cedric and Jilly. They seem to think the Doctor is slightly over 35 years old. They would be Thirty Five in 1975 so they were born in 1940.

The First Venus mission was returning to Earth in 1975, the third was underway by 1980.

The Doctor is well known for defeating the moon-men invasion as of 1975, building the Bot-u-tron robot and melting all the snow in Britain on Christmas 1974. The Doctor also helped repel the Magma Men in 1978, fought the Mighty Mole and “Hitler’s Robot”.

The Venusians were wiped out in a nuclear war, they had some form of Christianity

The British Government was performing time travelling Paleo-archaeology as of 1980. Piltdown Man is real… apparently.

By the time of his rejuvenation, Jilly now went by ‘Jill’ and was a teenager (adult by some standards). Cedric and Jilly seem to age 1:1 with their school friends on Earth. The year is between 1953 and 1955.

He picked up an infection of some kind from the Violet Moon of Bellerophon. Jill and Cedric got over it but the Doctor did not, and it eventually resulted in his renewal.

The Doctor at some point lived through World War I due to being stuck on Earth for 20 years, it is loosely implied to have been this incarnation due to the statement about him becoming human and falling in love with Joan Redfern in FL1, and prior to Cedric and Jilly’s births.

After letting Jill and Cedric leave in ~1955, he lay back in a chair and renewed into his next incarnation.

Phillip Hinchcliffe

He picked up his first companion, Rue, very shortly after renewal, during his first adventure.

He’s working for the Order of the Spheres and seemingly has been doing so since before his most recent renewal. He came to Idrotha looking for one of them. He is being led to their bodies.

The Demons of Dog Street is set in 1956 at first. This is presumably intended to be his ‘contemporary’ time.

The Doctor tried to help a young lady called Nelly Rosethorne who absorbed an artefact from a dead member of the Order of the Spheres, only for Nelly to become ‘The Witch of the White House’ with whom he would eventually later scuffle with, resulting in his rejuvenation.

He’s the incarnation who married Patience according to Cold Fusion.

We have yet to actually see the event of his renewal, but we know he ‘met a premature end’ suggesting he's the shortest lived of the Morbii.

Douglas Camfield

His early life was coloured by Space War II between two major powers that the Time Lords seemed to be loosely involved in. Space War II was very technically a Time War due to one of the opponents use of Time Travel tech.

This Doctor is willing to make people disappear, he does so to a cabal of war criminals from Space War II.

He says that the destruction of Dattany City is sixteen years in the relative past and claims its ‘Not much different for him’.

The Vidocs are a time sensitive species with wings, researching time travel. The Time Lords seem threatened by them and are trying to prevent them from engineering a star for time travel. They are in communication with a time active species called the Mey.

The Camfield Doctor is actively working for a sect of the Time Lord government to, among other things, prevent races from having both the intent and means to alter history.

The Time Lords have leverage over his Gallifreyan Family, who are later killed in Cold Fusion.

Dattany is 147 by Trail of a Time Lord, she joined the Doctor when she was a lot younger. She’d met Patience and the Doctor’s children. The Doctor’s eldest son could regenerate.

The Doctor gets out of trial from the Time Lords for hunting down the cabal by proving Space War II was a Time War. But he is convicted of consorted with aliens due to bringing Dattany to the Homeworld. He is executed as a result of this.

Graeme Harper

This Doctor is only referred to by they/them. They have a psychic beard and have at some point masqueraded as Martin Jurgens, an Earth Adjudicator whom the Roger Delgado Master would steal the credentials of.

The Captain is a conventional superhero, they claim that ‘One hundred and twenty years’ doesn’t look as good on them as it does on the Doctor, implying this incarnation is also at least one hundred and twenty by the events of Valhalla Must Fall! Which is considered ‘early days’ in the conflict.

The Doctor and the Captain were in battle with a species called the Outsiders, who were immortal and tried to take over the Universe in order to feel something. By the time the Doctor met with a dying Nimh, they had convinced the Outsiders to never become immortal in the first place.

This Doctor promised Death a week of servitude, but never said when and never returned to play that out. Possible link to Master (Where he makes a new deal with Death to make the Master Death’s Champion)

The Usher runs the Fountain Theatre, it is ‘on the same street’ as the Celestial Toyroom run by the Toymaker, the Usher uses it to link the Doctor to an early event from shortly after Event One.

The Doctor tells a story that, in the ancient past, under the influence of ‘A madman’ the people of Gallifrey split into two civilisations. Each comparing themselves to the other. The Doctor and another from the other civilisation, Hazel, devised a plan to switch places and disguise themselves, forgetting their true natures for a while. Upon remembering the two were able to use their positions to broker peace between the two sides. The two now have tattoos that prevent them from infiltrating or being unknowingly mind altered again.

He reacted in shock and worry when told 'The Other' was here

We do not see this Doctor’s renewal as of FL2.

Robert Holmes

Coming to a deal with the powers that be this incarnation was given the ability to travel the Universe in exchange for fulfilling his duty to the homeworld, though that deal has grown stricter over time and he has grown to resent the situation.

Early in his life he suffered an injury as a result of a failed mission for the Time Lords, that results in him walking with a cane.

He’s indirectly responsible for the creation of the Krotons, Sontarans, Autons, Drashig and Kroll.

The TARDIS is described as ‘bluer and boxier’ than it was under the Hinchcliffe Doctor.

The Doctor is told to ‘swing by in a hundred years’ though we never know if he does or not or in what incarnation if he does.

He has had fifty different handlers by the time of his rejuvenation.

He was shot and killed by an immortal during a confrontation. A Gallifreyan, Mountweazel, sacrificed themselves to trigger his renewal.

George Gallaccio

He experienced amnesia after his previous traumatic rejuvenation for most of his first story.

In 1970 there was a meteor storm that supposedly changed the course of human development. This was actually an arrival of the Nestene Consciousness and this incarnation gets embroiled in a brief adventure where he faces the Nestenes.

This incarnation was ejected from the TARDIS when it was taken over by an entity called the Nomad, resulting in a fatal injury that would lead to his inevitable renewal.

The TARDIS took a police box form in both his first and final adventures.

He believes he fused with the Nomad prior to his rejuvenation but that was in fact untrue.

Bonus – Retrogenesis

Timeline of the Kelda

Pre-Rome

The Kelda Stone arrives on Earth in what would become the village of Kellerston

1800s

The Squire tries to break up the Kelda Stone, but is stopped by the First Morbius Doctor, who partially awakens the Kelda in the stone.

1940s

The stone is taken from the village to the British Museum, the Second Morbius Doctor attempts to stop the Magus from awakening the Kelda. The Doctor learns the Kelda are a species, rather than a single being, as the Magus has had dealings with other Kelda whilst in service to the Unity.

The future

The Third Morbius Doctor first meets a living Kelda on a planet. By this point he knows the Kelda as a benevolent confederation who seed knowledge across the Universe to those that are ready for the privilege and hibernate on planets where they are not until they are ready. The Kelda are a form beyond the machine body which is implied by this Doctor to be the logical successor to the biological form as a species develops. The Doctor meets a Kelda named Aldorac.

The Distant Past

A Kelda has landed on a planet called Arkos/Orkos. This planet is very primitive, the Fourth Morbius Doctor is very confused by this. The Kelda reveals that this is their origin planet and it journeyed there from the far future, as a force from the future is aiming to change the Kelda timeline.

The Future again

The Kelda meet with their allotemporal counterparts, overseen by the Fifth Morbius Doctor. These counterparts are revealed to be the force from the future trying to interfere with their own history. Aldorac is part of the Kelda delegation. The peace deal is not completed, but the Kelda reveal they expected this and intended to negotiate with the Doctor, not their counterparts.

The Time Lords sign a deal to protect the Kelda Timeline.

The Distant Past Again

The Sixth Morbius Doctor Doctor abducts a child called Alylec, whom the Kelda’s opponents from the future are trying to kill.

The two factions of then planet, the Calendal and Zenithal are in an uneasy detente, both developing weapons of mass destruction capable of mutually assured destruction.

The Seventh Morbius Doctor causes a nuclear war that would lead to ‘the great separation’ that eventually leads to the creation of the Kelda as a species.

Alylec teaches the Zenithal survivors a peaceful way.

The Eighth Morbius Doctor surveys the planet, implying that the machinelike Calendal successors ‘Dals’ and humanoid Zenithal successors ‘Thals’ will eventually recombine to form the Kelda, but only if they’re kept apart and keep to their philosophies until they are ready.

The Eighth Morbius Doctor isomorphically locks the history of the Kelda, so no one but himself can ever interfere again, noting that “I’m hardly going to blunder in and undo all that hard work, now am I?”

The First Doctor arrives on Arkos, now ‘Skaro’ and accidentally causes the Dal survivors ‘Daleks’ to prematurely meet the ‘Thals’ and teaches the Thals a non-pacifist way of fighting back. This averts the Kelda timeline and instead creates the first Dalek Timeline.

#dweu #doctor who #forgotten lives #pre-hartnell #morbius doctors #doctor who eu

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 2 years

Text

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Pairing(s): Margaery Tyrell x Baratheon!Reader, Tommen Baratheon x Margaery Tyrell

Warnings: canon character death, cuckold

Words: 2202

Summary: A glance and a sassy comment. The more time you two spent alone together, the less of a sister you became to one another. It wasn’t your intention to fall in love with the wife of your brother. You had never really felt bad about it when Maragery was married to Joffrey, but now that she was wed to your sweet Tommen. . . You couldn’t do that to your sweet lion.

You caught her once again staring at you with such obvious flirtation in her glittering eyes that it took everything you had not to out right blush. She knew exactly what she was doing as Margaery’s smile expanded. Oh she was sweet, sure, but boy did she have a penchant for mischief. The more you got to know your twice good-sister, the more you saw. Margaery had her public personality and then her private one. Not even Tommen, her now husband, had gotten a peek of it. In the comforting silence of the gardens, you had been gifted that side of Margaery.

“Don’t even think about it.” Telling her, you can’t help but glance at the two patrolling guards. Even in your own home you were still subjected to being monitored. Especially after the death of your brother Joffrey. Your mother grew ever paranoid that someone would go after you or Tommen next. Myrcella, having been sent to Dorne, was not of concern since she was safe and sound under the protection of the Martells. Cersei kept you and your brother close to her; never were her eyes too far from you. In fact you wouldn’t doubt if she was gazing from her balcony upon the garden right now at you and Margaery. There was obvious dislike for her. Even when she was engaged to Joffrey, your mother never had much love for her. She always warned you to be careful because she had an inkling that Margaery was in fact trying to advance the Tyrell name by becoming queen.

Of course she was. Who else would want to marry Joffrey if it wasn’t for the prospect of becoming queen. Well, that is beside Sansa Stark. Poor girl had been utterly in love with him when she was a young girl. Sansa had to learn the hard way that Joffrey wasn’t the prince she thought he was. It took the execution of her father to figure that out.

The day was beautiful, even so that the guards would agree as they passed by your canopy every so often, grateful that it was just the queen and princess they had to guard. An easy day for them.

Margaery’s eyes flick back to her cards playfully. “What are you talking about?” Sunshine danced behind her, making her glow in its light. Many men had gone through the Red Keep, claiming that you and your mother were the great beauties in all of the Seven Kingdoms. They were all wrong. In actuality it was Margaery. No other woman could ever measure up to her.

Putting your cards down on the stone mosaic table that stood between the two of you, you place your elbows on your knees and lean forward. “That thing you do where you think I’m not paying attention. Your eyes scream how desperate you are to kiss me.”

A hand on her chest in a shocked fashion, she exclaims “My eyes? I’m most certain they do not scream that.” It was cute how she couldn’t even pretend to be shocked. Her real self bleeding out.

You shrug. “Hm. I guess I was wrong. You don’t want to kiss me.”

“Now hold on, I never said that.”

That’s how your relationship had blossomed. A glance and a sassy comment. The more time you two spent alone together, the less of a sister you became to one another. It wasn’t your intention to fall in love with the wife of your brother. You had never really felt bad about it when Maragery was married to Joffrey, but now that she was wed to your sweet Tommen. . . You couldn’t do that to your sweet lion. Tommen had a puppy love for Margaery. If he were to find out about the two of you, it would destroy his gentle heart. Not only that but you could potentially be imprisoned if anyone else were to find out.

The Tyrell Queen leans over to get closer to you. “Who wouldn’t want to partake in the delicacy that are your lips.” Her voice barely rose above the buzzing of the nearby bees. It was only meant for your ears. Margaery was always more bold than you. Her Queensguard was composed entirely of knights sworn to house Tyrell. She was always confident that none of them would tell a soul. Words were wind though and you never let your guard down, especially in front of her guards.

Anxiety makes you lean away from her advances. Heat creeps up your neck as you frantically check to see if there was anyone around. “Please Margaery. . .”

A little bit of her light dims, smile stalling before ever so slowly dipping down. “(y/n). You don’t have to worry.”

“I do though. I have a lot to worry about. I told you we should be more careful. Things are different now that you’re married to Tommen. He’s not Joffrey. Nothing like him.”

She closes her eyes. “I know. I’m sorry. I just. . . I forget. Having to see you after being apart. . . I just want to kiss you.”

You fell back into your chair, heart constricting. “I want to kiss you too. But I can’t.”

“I only married Tommen to stay close to you.” Margaery sits up, laughing a little despite her eyes becoming glossy. “I did this for us.”

Tommen was leagues better than Joffrey ever was, but it didn’t change the fact that the two of you loved each other deeply. All the things that had happened since you met was because of your love. Neither you or Olenna could ever allow Margaery to stay married to Joffrey. Something had to be done with the tyrant, even if Margaery was fully capable of taking care of herself. Joffrey was a monster. He needed to be dealt with.

You never questioned Olenna how she intended to get rid of your terrible brother. Even as you watched him suffocate to death, you forced yourself to watch without blinking an eye. Watched as his eyes bulged and face blooming purple. Deep down you felt shame for feeling no sorrow, no emotion, as Joffrey died. The only sadness you felt was for your mother. She had loved that beast fiercely despite how horrid he was. Cersei had always been blind to his atrocities.

“I know.” Chimes that had been hung on your canopy, imported from Tyrosh, tinkle with the passing breeze. “I’m sorry it’s just, this time it’s different. I love you, but I love Tommen more. He’s my sweet lion. It would kill me if he ever found out and it broke his heart.”

Your words pained Margaery as was clear with the flush to her cheeks and the tears that dripped from her eyes. Her full lips quiver. “I. . . I understand. . . He is a sweet boy. . . Can I get one last kiss?”

Heart sobbing in your chest, you stiffly nod.

Margaery gets up from her seat and drifts over to you like a ghost. She leans over you, beautiful chestnut hair kissing your face before her lips descended on you.

Fire blazed in her as Cersei found herself frozen on the spot. Rage consumed her as she stood witness to Margaery Tyrell kissing her eldest child, her daughter (y/n). Cersei wanted nothing more than to strangle the now Queen of Westeros.

Now the tart was moving in on her daughter. Cersei wouldn’t let that go unpunished.

Absentmindedly Cersei goes to touch her sheared blonde hair. Remembering the time she spent being tormented by Septa Unella. Betrayed by her own cousin Lancel.

King’s Landing was full of snakes. From the moment the Golden Rose of High Garden set foot into the city, Cersei knew immediately that she didn’t like the beautiful maid that was to wed her first born son. Her son that was King of all the Seven Kingdoms. To make matters worse was the fact that Margaery had previously been wed to Renly Baratheon, the man that crowned himself king. An imposter. The moment he was killed, Margaery fled, on to her next victim. She should have never listened to Tywin that the Tyrell girl was the best bride for Joffrey. Looking at her now, Cersei was aware of what Margaery was after. Not too long ago Cersei had been much like her: wanting to be queen and stopping at nothing until her goal was reached.

Sharply, Cersei turns on her heels and walked the other way; pretending that she had seen nothing. Margaery’s time was coming. She would regret the day she decided to meddle with Cersei’s family.

Unceremoniously you were thrown into your brother’s room, much to his own shock, by the Mountain. All you had tried to do was attend the trial of your mother and Margaery.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Tommen demands.

“This oaf won’t let me go to the trial.” You hiss and glare at Gregor Clegane. “It should be starting soon and people will notice if we are missing.”

Pale brows scrunch up as your brother attempts to size up Ser Gregor but it’s obvious that he wouldn’t stand a chance. “Who put you up to this?”

You pace over to the window that had a wonderful view of the city, including the Sept of Baelor. “Who do you think Tommen? There is no one else that he obeys but our mother.”

Confusion was still plaguing him as he steps away from Gregor’s blocking form. “Why would she make him do this though? Is she going without us?”

“I don’t know.” It confused you. Where was your mother?

Even though Tommen was king, that little to persuade Gregor to move. Those haunting blood red eyes of his just stared without any focus. You still didn’t understand exactly how Qyburn had brought the brute of a man back to life. Seeing him die with your own eyes you had been quite shocked when your mother had showed up with him one day. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t right. Unholy and damned, you hated being around Ser Gregor. Every inch of your skin crawled whenever he was around. You dared not mess with him.

Your little brother walks over to your side to look over the city. “I feel uneasy. . .”

“Me too. . .” What else could either of you do? The Mountain blocked the only door and you weren’t about to scale down the Red Keep. That would have been insane. Your body disagreed as it itched to get out by any means possible. Cersei had purposefully kept you and Tommen from the sept. Why else would she have Gregor put you in Tommen’s room and stand guard. Moments like that made you find similarities between your mother and your late grandfather. Tywin Lannister had a magnificent mind that was always scheming for the sake of his family. Before his untimely death you had overheard him talking to Cersei about your marriage. How it would guarantee further support and allies. Who they had been planning to marry you off to, you never found out. All talk of marriage was snuffed out with his death. Compared to your uncles, your mother took after Tywin more than they did. She had aspirations and drive. Unwilling to give up on something once she had her mind set on it. And unwilling to forgive if she deemed that someone had done her wrong. Much wrong had been done to her recently at the hands of the High Sparrow. After spending weeks under their torture, she had come back to the Keep filthy, naked, and her once beautiful hair cut close to her scalp. They had done a number on her. For the first time your mother had cried in your arms when she saw you.

Fear clicked as a thought entered. You knew your mother wasn’t the forgiving type. What if. . . what if she had plans for the High Sparrow and his ilk? And today was the day when she planned to play out her revenge?

You found breathing to be difficult as panic settled into you and made your head warm and dizzy. It hurt. Vision grew blurry.

“(y/n)? Are you okay?” You hear Tommen’s soft voice, filled with concern.

“I don’t feel good.” You hold on to the windowsill, trying to steady yourself as you look away.

Even though he was scared of the Mountain, Tommen turns his face to him. “Please. Get someone to help my sister.”

Margaery.

Margaery was in the sept.

Waiting for you.

“Please! Do something!” His voice quivered. For being king he lacked the power, the authority. Everyone knew all the power belonged to Cersei.

Then you heard it. A far off deafening clash.

Tommen freezes, his neck stiffly turning toward the window to see the distant plume of dark clouds that had enveloped what had once been the illustrious Sept of Baelor. The sept itself was crumbling down, being enveloped by the smoke and green flames. Gentle green eyes widen in absolute horror as he helplessly stares at the havoc. The screams of those caught near the crossfire drilled into your head as you struggled to gain control over your own body.

The clanging of a broken bell echoed the breaking of your heart.

#margaery tyrell x reader #margaery tyrell fanfic #margaery tyrell fanfiction #reader insert #game of thrones fanfic #game of thrones fanfiction #asoiaf #asoiaf fanfic #asoiaf fanfiction

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 11 months

Text

By: Aaron Terrell

Published: Dec 18, 2021

Part I: Gender Dysphoria & Shame

I had what we would consider early onset childhood gender dysphoria; a self-conception of being a boy despite a body that contradicted that. I don’t think I was born with it though; I think it was a response to restrictive female gender roles and a sense that boys had a freedom that shouldn’t be withheld from me. I was a tomboy who grew up in a conservative Evangelical Christian environment and was regularly reminded how girls behave and dress, with the explicit message being I was acting like a boy and that was inappropriate. From my earliest memories the wish to be a boy, or the self-conception of myself as a boy, was inextricable from a sense of shame at feeling that way.

I began to tell myself stories to explain why I felt the way I did. When I was a toddler my infant brother died from SIDS and a few years later I became convinced that his spirit passed into me. That was why I felt like I was a boy; I was carrying my brother’s spirit with me. This story also gave me permission to ‘act like a boy’, because I was doing it for my brother, not for me. I eventually outgrew this story and around age 11 or 12 my internal story shifted to something a little more realistic, which was that puberty would take away my ‘boy’ feelings and turn me into a real girl. I convinced myself that would fix me. It didn’t.

The shame I felt as a small child for wishing I was a boy only increased in adolescence along with the “dysphoria”. I didn’t know that word at the time, but that’s what I would come to understand it as. The older I got, the more intense the dysphoria got and the more intense the shame at still feeling that way. I kept telling myself I would outgrow it. I wouldn’t feel this way at 16. Then when I still felt that way at 16, I knew I would outgrow it by 20. On and on it went.

It was further confounding and embarrassing because I wasn’t attracted to girls. My peers thought I was a lesbian but in reality the thought of touching another girl’s body was repellent to me. My own female body was grotesque, why would I find pleasure in duplicating it? I wasn’t attracted to boys until my late teens and when that attraction manifested it was indistinguishable from envy. I found gay men most attractive, and fantasized about being one. I now realize gay male relationships were appealing because they didn’t involve any female anatomy and was therefore erotically pure in my estimation. I certainly never told anyone this.

By 26 I hadn’t outgrown the dysphoria, and in 2010 I started exploring the possibility of transition. Medical transition wasn’t nearly as daunting as the prospect of telling my friends and family my shameful secret that I had carried with me as long as I could remember. However, once I had vocalized it, the shame disappeared. As if all my life I had been carrying a heavy burden, when all I had to do was put it down. The dysphoria indeed persisted and I went on to transition in 2011 at the age of 27.

Important to note because I know this is a contentious issue right now between trans people and gay people: I did not transition to have sex with gay men. I anticipated being celibate the rest of my life. I did not believe actual gay men would be interested in me, and I wasn’t interested in women. Spending the remainder of my life single was a sacrifice I was more than happy to make to be rid of the dysphoria. I saw it two ways: I could be single as a man or partnered as a woman. The choice was simple for me.

Part II: Gender Ideology & Gender Reconciliation

Transition was an unequivocal relief for me. Testosterone brought on physical and psychological changes that allowed me to feel comfortable in my body in a way I didn’t know was even possible. The dysphoria dramatically reduced as my face and musculature began masculinizing. My sexuality ceased to be focused on gay men and instead, very surprisingly to me, turned primarily toward women. I later concluded my previous repulsion to the female form was a projection of my dysphoria, and my attraction to men was primarily envy. With the relief from dysphoria that repulsion and envy faded away. Two years into my transition I got “top surgery” and my dysphoria was mostly eradicated. As disturbing as this may sound to people who do not suffer from gender dysphoria, the day I had my double mastectomy remains the greatest day of my life. Dysphoria had been such a constant and seemingly interwoven sense of who I was, I wasn’t able to fathom what I would feel like without it. Immense relief and contentment is what I felt.

After transition I didn’t spend much time in trans communities. I lived mostly stealth. I went back to college and got a Bachelor’s degree. I started a new job where no one knew of “my female past” (as I would refer to it at the time) and generally embraced life as a man and didn’t spend much time dwelling on the trans part of my life. Transition worked wonders for me, and I got on with life. Occasionally I would wander into online trans communities where I would read young people, often teenagers, expressing they thought they were trans. I was team transition all the way. I mistakenly assumed gender dysphoria was one thing, and that transition was the only solution.

In 2017 I learned gender dysphoria is not one thing, and that plenty of people are transitioning despite never even experiencing dysphoria of any variety. I became aware of this shift in understanding when I befriended a number of transmen in my city. Initially I was glad to learn there were other people with whom I had such a fundamental commonality, but quickly learned our experiences were starkly different. Some of the things I learned from these young transmen:

Being ‘trans’ is separate from gender dysphoria

Transition is something you do to demonstrate you are ‘trans’

Assuming dysphoria should be a prerequisite to transitioning is inherently transphobic because it ‘pathologizes transness’

Lying about having dysphoria is a normal part of accessing trans healthcare, as is necessary because doctors and clinicians are by and large transphobic

Upon hearing multiple variations of all of the above, I was dumbfounded and angry at what I perceived as a cruel appropriation of an ailment I had suffered my entire life. When I expressed disagreement at this framing of ‘trans’ as an identity independent from any mental turmoil at one’s sexed body, I was told that as a fellow trans person I shouldn’t be invalidating anyone else’s ‘transness’ because trans people are invalidated enough by ‘cis transphobes’, and therefore don’t need it from fellow trans people as well.

After distancing myself from my short-lived friendship with these transmen, my anger and confusion only grew. I started lurking in online communities for transmen and learned the cohort I had known in person were not an anomaly - they were expressing the currently pervasive view of ‘trans’ as an identity. An identity that must be validated by surgeries and hormones. My anger at the appropriation melted into terror at what was happening. I read a lot of their stories, I asked a lot of questions, and eventually developed a sense of what was happening. Loneliness is driving young people to drastic measures to find community, purpose, and distinction. Trans is a religion and a youth subculture rolled into one. It is especially appealing to girls who have been sexually abused or who are on the Autism spectrum. In females it appears to be unrelated to sexuality (apart from fleeing male attention). What we now know as ROGD has little to do with GD as we previously understood it and more to do with tragically normal adolescent struggles being funneled into ‘trans’.

While casually researching the turn within the trans community I came upon a number of stories of detransitioners, mostly women (former transmen). I was not surprised that there were many detransitioned women now. What did surprise me is their stories of dysphoria sounded much more familiar and relatable to me than what I was hearing from the current ‘trans’ population. For these women transition did not relieve their dysphoria. Sometimes it made it worse. In other cases it just came with the nagging reality that they were lying to others and deluding themselves. It would seem many experiences common in girls upbringing, especially masculine girls, can easily be interpreted as an intense, unrelenting feeling that we should have been boys.

All these revelations led me to re-examine my transition and the stories I told myself as a child and as an adult about why I felt the way I did. I’ve realized ‘gender dysphoria’ is just another story I use to explain to myself why I feel the way I do about my female sex and where that positions me in the world. While transition did provide significant relief, and I stand here a decade later without regret, I do wonder if had I been given a different story or tools to explain my discomfort with my sex, would I have found the relief I needed without such drastic and invasive measures? After all, no one is born in the wrong body and I was not supposed to be male. What we are currently doing is solving software issues by carving up hardware. We are treating normal female adolescence with blunt force transition. We should be identifying the root issue before trying to solve vague and nebulous anxieties - body dysmorphia, social anxiety, fear of loneliness - with irreversible hormones and surgeries.

#Aaron Terrell #Gender Dysphoria Alliance #gender dysphoria #queer theory #gender ideology #medical transition #body dysmorphia #social anxiety #puberty #religion is a mental illness

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lyssiesleakedmemos · 3 months

Text

Getting started in the industry

TW heavy topics such as Sexual abuse

Real life story

Not erotic but adult themes

Trembling, stomach in knots, only a bra and panties away from being from being completely exposed.. and even that small security blanket was going to be ripped away momentarily. "Breathe" I instructed myself. I braced for the impact of potentially the worst mistake of my life. And clicked, "Go live."

How did I get here?

It feels like a lifetime ago, only taking my first steps of adulthood, already weighed down with the pressure of coming up with a plan. I didn't have money for college, doubted every skill I had, and was recently taken off the medications that may have been the push I needed to be a whole lot more productive job hunting. I had been a legal adult for nearly a year, I was "running out of time." A sentiment I can't even wrap my head around today.

Hurry hurry hurry.

While panicked about my entire future prospects, I did manage to find time to embrace the new freedom and independence that suddenly felt abundant. My upbringing was certainly not strict but days and nights of making my own choices without so much as asking permission was a fucking rush. Party after party. Run from the cops. Repeat.

But it wasn't until the relationship that consumed my life the 4 years prior came to an end that I truly felt the world open up in front of me. Despite adoration from our peers who only saw the best of us and despite my limited experience convincing me that this must just be how some men are.. the truth is I was lying with a monster. It took time to see it for what it was sexual and emotional abuse. But even then, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders leaving. No longer would I be under his control, no longer would my body be close enough for him to touch after repeated pushing him away, no longer would I be the person he came to with his sick confessions of disturbing crimes he'd committed or sought to commit like a burden he gladly gifted me and he'd never have the opportunity to ignore my pleas or break the promise of "I'll never do that to you again."

With the heaviest of shackles broken, everything I CHOSE to do became liberating and quickly that became exploring sexuality on my terms. I started dating Walter, who, for all his flaws, wasn't a monster and was actually quite supportive of exploration and seemed like he was on a journey of his own. More on him later.. but when I came to him with the crazy idea to start Webcam modeling, he not only encouraged me, but he offered up his house as a work space.

I wrestled with the idea for awhile, likely made a pros and cons list if I know myself

Pro: Exciting

Con: Scary

In no time, my account was set up, and I was hyperventilating at my laptop. The first account I used was sketchy, one of those where you had a "manager" who would call you and demand you stream more (which for the record I thought was completely normal). This guy was a character, vulgar, crass, and unprofessional, even for such a profession at the time. He'd come into my streams and beg for free shows or call me and complain about other streamers. It was only a minor bump in the road, and it took no time to get comfortable performing, especially when I made the switch to a different platform. I think I even liked it.. for a job. My days were never short of interesting. My stories were plentiful, and i always felt connected to a world outside of my day to day life. Even the idea of being an adult performer gave me a sense of pride that I think most people in those days couldn't understand.. hell, if modern-day reception to OF girls is any indication, I'd say many still don't. Countless times, I found myself defending my choices in this era, something that may sound like a waste of time but went positively more than you'd expect. The truth is, regardless of your own preferences, most people can't argue with someone doing what they want to do because we all more or less fear losing the freedom to do so ourselves.

Now, the industry has been a part of my life off and on for over a decade, and I can honestly say I get that it's hard to get. There have been moments where I reflect on how much time I've spent solely catering to the male gaze or questioning the line between liberation and objectifican. It's not a simple equation, but I think I learned what the answer is for me.

Walking through life, especially as a female, means guaranteed objectification, leering men and societal pressure to look fuckable. Before ever signing a contract, making a cent or making a CHOICE, someone I was meant to trust took something from me.. so believe me when I say that when people use the menu I've provided for a mutually beneficial service, that difference is clear. Not to mention the power of the freedom to decline and, of course, the block button.

This expectation exists that trauma should make you cower from sexuality moving forward, and sometimes that's what we have to do, but in the end, I gave myself the gift of reclaiming someone that was always mine. I am every bit as sex positive and open as what some might interpret as a marketing scheme, I have built myself a life that allows me me to explore that as one big exhibition.

Someone somewhere is rejoicing in the stroking of their confirmation bias because I followed the often assumed trajectory of Trauma -> Sex work. I used to dispute the comparison because I knew many examples that weren't that case as I met other creators, but rather, the more important point is who does the fault than lie on? To say "this" is a product of "that" is to blame "that" and not "this." You've agreed the problem is abusers and I think that's a good place to start the conversation at least.

I don't regret stepping foot into this industry. Retroactively, I would have told my younger self to wait, learn, and heal more first, but I think I would have always ended up here. Despite everything that more directly brought me here, I'm at my core an entertainer, and if their is a stage, I was going to find it.. who knew it would be a mattress?

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uncloseted · 5 months

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If you had to write a series spin off just focused on just series 5 Mini, what main points would you write about? For me I think her being a lesbian, her control issues, and her ED. what do you think?? What relationships would you explore?? what timeline? i’d love to explore mini in college (if she ever had a baby ofc and was coming into her sexuality.) i could defo see her hooking up with girls a lot and finally being open to it!!

I think you nailed it- Mini's character arc revolves around her deep seated control issues that stem from being afraid people won't like her for who she is and being afraid that if she gives into her impulses, she'll end up like her mother. Her eating disorder and queerness are definitely story points in that arc. I think it could have been really interesting to explore those issues through the lens of her pregnancy.

I think it would be something like this: Mini gets pregnant with Nick, someone who seems like he should be "perfect" for her but isn't. Her teen pregnancy mirrors her mother's own pregnancy, and so it seems that Mini is following in her footsteps. Mini and Nick try to make it work. Mini is obsessive about eating "right" for the baby, she's trying to be the perfect partner to Nick, and overall she's trying to force things to be perfect. But she starts to realize that even though everything seems right on paper, something just isn't working. Through her friendship with Franky, she starts to realize that maybe the reason her relationships with men have never felt right is because she's not attracted to men- she's attracted to women, and specifically Franky. Mini leaves Nick for Franky, but Franky isn't interested in her in that way- she likes Matty, and she thinks of Mini as her first real friend, but not as a romantic prospect. I think that would work really nicely because it flips our initial assumptions around- the girl who seems like she would be the most straight is actually queer, and Franky really is "into people".

Mini's life continues to feel more and more out of control as her relationships and body changes, and she continues to try and force things to fit the narrative she's already written for herself. Her need for control and to not be like her mother eventually pushes her mother away, and Mini is left on her own. Maybe she ends up hospitalized as a result of being too stringent with her eating and has to deal with it all alone. From there, Mini starts defining who she is when she's not thinking about herself in relation to other people. It's scary for her, but since trying to be in control has caused her to hit rock bottom, she starts to relinquish control to see if maybe that will work instead. I can imagine her having to get a job she thinks is totally beneath her and actually really liking it. I can imagine her doing lots of DIY projects and learning how to make baby clothes because she wants her baby to have nice things, but she can't actually afford to buy them. I like the idea of a scene where Mini is painting her baby's room and for the first time really allowing herself to be free and creative. She starts to learn that it's okay if things aren't picture perfect- what matters is the love and care that go into them. After having this realization, Mini reconciles with her mum, who she now realizes did the best she could with what she had. Even if her childhood wasn't picture-perfect like other kids she knew, Mini was always raised with love and acceptance. Meanwhile, Nick has begun to soften and has gone on his own emotional journey, so he and Mini reconcile, this time just as friends, and agree to co-parent their baby. Her arc ends with having the baby, and her identity is once again wrapped up in someone else, but this time it's in a way that's healthy for her and allows her to grow.

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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year

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@lady-merian replied to your post: I read a book I really enjoyed (a new TSG...

No, give us the rant!

Okay, you asked for it!

Fair warning: I am going to be yelling about superheroes again. Also the topic of sexual abuse/harassment, specifically as it applies to male characters as victims. I'm going to have to explain a lot, but I promise there's a point to all this eventually.

So I've been reading a lot of comics from the 1990s/early 2000s about the younger DC heroes, mostly Robin (Tim Drake), Impulse (Bart Allen), and Superboy (Kon-El/Conner Kent). And something I've been ranting to poor @brown-little-robin a lot about is how these comics handle these boys' love lives. Bart is mostly oblivious to romance, and Tim is very self-controlled (Stephanie Brown jokingly calls him "Boy Virgin"), but Kon...things start to get problematic there.

Kon is a clone, created by a shady genetic engineering project to be their mind-controlled replacement for Superman, who had recently died. He was supposed to be developed to maturity but escaped early, while physically about sixteen. His creators implanted him with memories of things someone of that age would know (education, pop culture, etc.), but he doesn't have a lot of real-world experience, and thus he's pretty naïve.

He's also a major flirt. Desperate for female attention. Hits on pretty much every woman or girl he meets. It's rather obnoxious. This is chalked up to his age and immaturity, or possibly to traits inherited from his human DNA donor, but I tend to suspect his creators wanted a clone who would really, really want to reproduce and pass those superpowered genes to more people for them to control. But whatever the case, this trait of his exists. And it has been repeatedly taken advantage of to put him in situations where he is vulnerable to sexual abuse.

Multiple grown women, who are fully aware that he is physically sixteen and chronologically much, much younger (one of them calls him "Kid," another refers to him as "jailbait"), see him as a romantic/sexual prospect and take advantage of his naivete and desire for romantic attention. Things happen to him that nowadays would be considered sexual assault of a minor, but in the 1990s apparently were seen as totally okay, even enviable--a teenager so attractive that even adult women are into him! If things were reversed, if he were a teenage girl receiving such attention from older men, this might be seen as creepy and predatory, but because he's male and therefore "wants it" this is all perfectly fine.

It's not. There are no adults looking out for him, he has no parental figures, no one to teach him about appropriate relationships and behavior with the opposite sex or point out to him that this isn't okay, so most of the time he doesn't question it, because it's his normal. But he does get hurt, and when he tries to talk about it, he gets shut down. One of his friends is actually rather judgmental toward him after an incident where he was being mind-controlled by a female supervillain. He is being abused, and the only way the narrative knows how to address it is to applaud it as admirable or blame him for the problem.

So...with all that in mind, I was going through issues of Kon's solo comic last night, screenshotting relevant panels for my own reference. And one of the issues was the second of a two-parter, a crossover with the Green Lantern comic that was running at that same time. So I tracked down that issue and got introduced to Kyle Rayner, self-described "anxious artist." He seems to be fairly young (early twenties?) and is struggling to find work, and the issue I read opens with his meeting with a potential agent, a middle-aged woman. He feels uncomfortable around her because she's got a reputation for preying on male clients. He's worrying that everything she says is a double entendre but berates himself for having "a dirty mind" and shrugs it off. But his instincts are correct; she ends their meeting by touching him inappropriately (while calling him "kid"). He does not respond to this, he takes the much-needed job she offers him, and it's never brought up again.

Really creepy. But he's male, and therefore the narrative can't acknowledge how messed up this is. So it's interesting to me that this issue goes on to have him pair up with Kon and briefly take on an almost older-brotherly role with him. Even so, Kyle's response to hearing that Kon has been recently dumped by his twenty-three-year-old girlfriend because she couldn't stand his immaturity any longer is...to agree that she had a point in doing so because this kid really is immature? Rather than pointing out that a twenty-three-year-old should not have been dating him in the first place! Here's someone who has first-hand experience with predatory older women, who could be in a position to empathize and advise, but he can't recognize that this situation is wrong...because he's had to normalize such things in his own life in order to survive. It's all incredibly messed up, and the narrative doesn't acknowledge it.

Apparently quite a few male heroes in this 'verse have been victims of sexual abuse. Dick Grayson (at age sixteen!). Wally West, I think. Even Bruce Wayne himself, depending on which version of the circumstances of Damian's conception you consider canon. As far as I can tell, their trauma goes unacknowledged by the narrative. And that really disturbs me.

Especially in the cases of boys.

#comicsposting again

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itsmemateinnit · 11 months

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Whitechapel series 1 press pack

Rupert Penry-Jones is Detective Inspector Joseph Chandler

Rupert Penry-Jones is quick to point out that DI Chandler, his character in Whitechapel, is no hero.

“He doesn’t have all the answers. He doesn’t know how to fix everything. He doesn’t kill the bad guy and save London like Adam in Spooks,” explains Rupert.

“He’s a bit less of an action man and a bit more cerebral. He doesn’t really like the sight of blood. Chandler is the total opposite to Adam in that way; he finds the whole thing quite scary.

“It was actually really nice to play someone who was not an action man for a change.”

Describing his character Rupert says: “DI Chandler is basically a fast track policeman. They call them ‘plastics’ in the force. He is destined for great things at the higher end of the police force but has to go through the ranks and work a little in each of the departments; get his feet wet.

“Whitechapel starts with him being given his first murder case which all concerned think is going to be a simple domestic. But of course it turns out to be a serial killer. So he ends up on this investigation having to muck in a lot more than he expected and realises he enjoys policing rather more than just sitting behind a desk.

“He is a slightly obsessive, compulsive, asexual guy. You get no insight into his personal life at all. It is all work with him.”

At first Chandler sits uneasily among his new colleagues; a rough and ready East End station.

But, as Rupert explains, the relationship between him and his men does develop during the series.

“To start with Chandler and Miles, his sergeant played by Phil Davis, absolutely hate each other. For Miles particularly, Chandler is everything he dislikes about the modern police force. But gradually they find a mutual respect for each other.”

Ripperologist Edward Buchan is another stumbling block between the two officers.

“Chandler likes Buchan from the start. He respects his ideas and thoughts on the case and they end up being good friends. Miles thinks he’s an idiot and a liability.”

Rupert says that the prospect of working with Phil Davis again was one of the things that attracted him to the part.

“The first thing that hit me was the script - a real page turner. I was totally gripped by this modern telling of the Jack the Ripper story. And I loved the relationship between Chandler and Miles. Even more so as Phil is an old friend from when we made North Square together, so that was an added bonus.”

Rupert admits he knew very little about the original 19th century Ripper before doing his research.

“To be honest I didn’t even realise he hadn’t been caught,” confesses Rupert. “I thought they caught the suspect in top hat and tails. I never realised that there was this huge conspiracy story going around.

“I found the research very interesting. I didn’t realise how gruesome it all was though. They really were the most awful murders. He did terrible things to those women, even eating bits of their bodies. He was the original serial killer.”

Many of Whitechapel’s pivotal scenes were filmed at night. Rupert recalls: “You can’t get very close to many of the original murder scenes but what was strange was while we were filming these big scenes we would see the actual Ripper tours walking past the sights. It was a bit surreal.”

“The night shoots were extremely gruelling on everybody. All the London boroughs have different curfews so we would only be allowed to film up to a certain time – some would be 10pm, some midnight and so on. It meant you couldn’t get a good run at the night shoots and we were always having to change our hours.”

But perhaps the toughest part of the role for Rupert was remembering the dialogue littered with names and dates and locations…

“When I was discussing all the victims I had the art department put up a big storyboard behind me. I used it as a prop to emphasise my speech but also as a prompt for remembering the names of the women who were killed. I had it all up there behind me to reference if I got lost.

“I find all that line learning rather tiresome but lines are easy to learn if the dialogue is good. And this was compelling.”

#whitechapel #whitechapel itv #text

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insideoutstory · 2 years

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Okay what is future Christine’s pregnancy like? Is she absolutely miserable or unsure? Is Steve constantly running out to get her stuff?

Okay heads up, I have ZERO experience writing pregnancy plot lines, and in the past, I have't been super into reading them. But when Steve Harrington tells you he wants six kids, you do what you need to do. So *rolls up sleeves* here we go! This got long, so I put it under a cut. 💕 🍼

Honestly, even though Chrissy and Steve have talked about kids a lot, she's still scared when the time rolls around. It's not so much that she's worried about being a bad mom - like Steve says, they've had practice. Also, she grew up in a single-parent household with a dad who did his best, she she knows that she doesn't need to be perfect so long as they can talk it out.

What scares Chrissy is the physical reality of pregnancy - because human reproduction is a nightmare and there are an endless amount of things that can go wrong. Chrissy knows more than the average person because she's so into science, so at the start, she's definitely terrified of all the different dangers.

Chrissy also struggles with feeling isolated sometimes, because she doesn't have her mom to help her through it. She can talk to Joyce or Claudia or Karen, but even then it's not the same. [Side note: I feel like Claudia is definitely the kind of mom who had like really weird cravings while she was pregnant with Dustin, and just assumes that that's how pregnancy is for everyone, which is how Chrissy ends up with a gift of pickles and peanut butter with absolutely no idea what to say.]

So Chrissy wishes she had the assurance of her real mom, who could tell her their family health history and what she went through carrying Christine. A lot of times she feels like she's wandering through the dark, and she can't tell if what she's experiencing is normal or something catastrophic she won't recognize until it's too late.

BUT

If there's something else we know about Christine, it's that she has the Mom Friend Gene which, outside of being maternal, means that the moment someone else is scared or nervous, it's easier for her to calm down. She will revert to being the rational person in the face of chaos and, lucky for Christine, she is surrounded by well-intentioned men who are the definition of chaos.

We're gonna tackle this in ascending order, most rational to the least rational.

5. Hopper

Okay, so y'all haven't gotten to this part of the story yet, but I promise that once everything in Season 2 calms down, Hopper and Christine are closer. He's best friends with her dad, and sort of a second paternal figure for her. Hopper isn't the kind of dad who panics in this situation, not after everything he's been through. He's actually really great at talking to Christine and calming her down because, by GOD, does this man know what it's like to be terrified of yourself as parent. Hopper is one of the few people Chrissy can talk to without putting on a brave face, which she really appreciates.

4. Pete

Chrissy's actual dad is a little more chaotic. We know that he's well-intentioned and great at communication, but he's also scatterbrained and a little hapless at times. He'll soothe Chrissy with stories about her mom, stories about herself when she was a baby, reassurances that the two of them will get through this together. Then he'll also come visit with a ton of gifts for his grandkids even though they haven't been born yet, only to remember that he didn't remember the take out Christine asked him to pick up.

3. Eddie

Listen, Eddie is terrified of the prospect of raising kids. We know he didn't have a good relationship with his dad, his mom isn't in the picture, and he grew up ostracized by society. He's terrified of being unable to save his kids from that, or unintentionally screwing them up in some different way. That being said, he talks about that fear a lot, so he's actively working it out. Despite his usual chaotic personality, he's usually pretty calm around Chrissy - like his brain is telling him he has to walk gently and soothe her. He'll do things like brush her hair for her or give her a massage, painting her nails, just hanging out doing nothing so she doesn't need to get up to change the thermostat or the TV.

Also he's constantly playing guitar for her, because this baby will know music. (He plays "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica as a lullaby and you can fight me on this because it is PERFECT for their family dynamic.)

2. Dustin

Dustin is so goddamn excited to be an uncle. He's also a nosy little shit who can't mind his own business, so he is 100% the type to grab a drink out of Chrissy's hands and tell her it's bad for the baby. Sees a box of Eddie's cigarettes? Throws them in the trash because they're bad for the baby. Steve leaves the Lysol out while he's cleaning the kitchen? Packs everything away in the middle of the operation because chemicals are bad for the baby. He's dangerously close to getting himself banned from the house for the last few months, but no one wants to lose the happy energy he brings to the place.

Also, you can bet that he's going through all his belongings trying to decide what to give to him. This kid will have their own complete set of Lord of the Rings before they're a month old, coloring books with superheroes, a radio in their room so Dustin can call without tying up the phone line. He's a nerd and an inventor, and the kid will be too.

Steve

We know this. You knew this. Steve is a well-meaning disaster and his brain has too many thoughts to function properly. He's excited. He's scared. He's thrilled. He's mortified. There's so much that he needs to do. Each day brings a different Steve: Handyman Steve who is baby-proofing the house months in advance to the point that he's accidentally locked himself out of the cabinets; Scholar Steve who's checked out every parenting book from the library to learn how to be the best dad he can be; Chef Steve who's taken all of Dustin's critiques to heart and is trying to learn how to cook a healthy meal so Chrissy doesn't need to stand in the kitchen; Doting Steve who will drive any distance at any time of day to get Christine what she needs at this exact moment; back to Handyman Steve who has painted the nursery three times because he's indecisive and can't decide what looks best.

But of two things I am sure.

One: when it finally comes down to it and Chrissy goes into labor, he has a solid battle plan and does not break a sweat. All the go bags are packed, all the appropriate phone calls are made, they take the fastest route to the hospital, and it all goes off without a hitch. He has prepared for this moment and he does not lose his cool.

Two: Steve cannot go shopping with Eddie, because they will both have a meltdown. One of them in the baby section? Okay, they're a little nervous, but they have the mental bandwidth to talk themselves through what they think is the best decision. BOTH of them in the baby section? They work each other into a frenzy, arguing, panicking, pulling the manager into their dramatics because they're scaring the other customers. Three injured, many traumatized, and they spent twice as much money as they intended to.

#this got.......out of hand #asks #future #all grown up #stedsy

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thezfc · 2 years

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Z-D is also fatphobic and misogynistic. She used to call Hailey Bieber and other women "talentless gold digger wives" on her old blog and claim they only got famous because of their husbands. And let's also not forget the countless times she said Tom would never date a fat women because he wants a gf who takes care of her body. //

This whole topic makes me so sad. I am so tired of overweight women being trolled, vilified, cast as the butt of jokes, considered to be the last resort/safety net for the most desperate and gross people who would otherwise face the prospect of remaining perpetual virgins. It’s so demoralising that there’s a constant narrative being spun that somehow being fat is the worst thing a woman can be. The message always seems to be that fat women are undesirable, less worthy of respect and success, less deserving of happiness and love. All of this is part of the relentless scrutiny on women’s bodies and the associated notion that our aesthetics define our worth.

I hope I don’t really need to explain this or provide excuses for myself but it isn’t even as straightforward that being overweight is down to be lazy and useless. Surely most of us recognise life is more complex than that, individuals are more nuanced. Personally, I have PCOS which makes it harder to shift weight and I put on most of my weight after I was raped. Depression, a lack of self worth, self hatred and self flagellation, a desire not to be desired… so many factors drove my weight gain following that incident. Of course I could eat less and exercise more but when you stop caring about yourself that becomes a whole lot harder. And I can attest to the reality that having carried that additional weight (both physical and emotional) now for most of my adult life, it is as though I became invisible and less worthy of acknowledgement. The bigger you get the less visible you become. The less visible you become, the harder it becomes to validate and fight for yourself. And please, I am not suggesting for a moment that there needs to be some traumatic reason to justify weight gain. I am simply saying everyone is different and it is impossible to know what circumstances, experiences, feelings, environments, decisions etc shape someone over time.

It’s then adding insult to injury when people claiming to be feminist / inclusive / progressive instead go ahead in devaluing and dismissing others based on these superficial observations when it suits them. ZD seem to pick and choose when they support women, just like TS appears to be pretty selective in when she wants to champion women. Even the term “gold digger” imo is deeply misogynistic- it is never used to describe men, likely because it is never considered an issue for the man (in a traditional relationship) to have greater means and agency than a woman - in fact, arguably that is the set up people seem most comfortable with. And if they are going to adopt this sexist language why is it inconsistently applied? Why is one woman a gold digger and another deemed to be the one true love and soulmate when marrying a more wealthy and successful man? This grotesque behaviour of cherry picking values persists everywhere it seems and (whilst of course we all have biases to overcome and we will all be less than perfect) the outright hypocrisy of deploying feminism only when it serves their own agenda really sticks in my gullet. Actual real values are not interchangeable based on convenience.

I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through, and I implore you to not take what strangers say on the Internet personally. Yes it’s terrible that we drag each other down for certain physical attributes yada yada yada but that’s not gonna change - the only thing you can change is the way that you react to it, which should be not at all. Don’t allow what strangers say the other strangers that you think could also apply to you have an affect on your feelings about yourself!

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michel-tanguy · 5 months

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New Post has been published on Michel Tanguy

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hook-your-ex-system-review · 7 months

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Hook Your Ex System PDF Download Steve Pratt (eBook)

Let’s face it: breaking up sucks. It’s a terrible experience that makes you question your self-worth, your potential future, everything! It completely upends plans you had for your future and can leave you in a dark place. Sometimes, breaking up is for the best. But other times, the breakup was the wrong move. You’re meant to be together – and you’ll both be happier being together in the long run. This is why The Ex Factor exists. The Ex Factor is a digital program that helps you get your ex back. The technique makes an ex hold on to the new, good experiences with you and therefore grow fonder over time and want you back. It is easy to understand this system. Getting your ex is not easy. You will note, why understanding a couple of necessary factors within the psychology may be very me to realize their goal. For me i had tried so many things not succeeding. I like how this guide has been created and has really helped me so quick. Let’s get started with how to get your ex back. The Hook Your Ex program was developed by Steve Pratt and released in 2014. Steve is a well-known relationship specialist with years of experience in that field. After doing a lot of research, he found a way through which he could influence people and have an effect on how their mind works.

When the number of painful experiences intensify and overwhelm the pleasurable ones, the difference can cause your partner to break up with you or end the relationship. If you’ve recently broken up with someone you love very much, it’s completely understandable that you would start wondering how to get your ex back, because sometimes it feels like the only way out of the pain is to get your relationship back on track. When people decide to break up, they have usually thought about it for a while and the real reasons behind it are emotionally driven.The core principle that has been made to govern the system is the understanding what the brain needs and thus avoiding too much pain and longing. The Hook Your Ex System, as heralded by Steve Pratt, asserts a unique ability: the revival of lost relationships. The notion of reigniting the flames that once warmed two souls is a magnetic prospect, tugging at heartstrings and beckoning those who yearn for past affections. Another cornerstone claim centers around the system’s potential to evoke dormant emotions. It professes to tap into the emotional reservoirs that remain even after separations, kindling a resurgence of feelings that had seemingly ebbed away.

Hook Your Ex program is designed for both genders and there are separate guides for them because men and women might not always think the same, there are certain differences in thinking. If done correctly, he or she will find it impossible to resist and will even beg you to take them back. Quick strategies to help you realize what is actually going in your ex partner’s mind. You can then use this realization to actually know what he or she really wants, expects and needs from you. Very Powerful messages and words that will certainly draw him or her back if you say them daily. An ’emotional clean-up’ process that clears all doubts that your ex-lover has about yo. The guide will teach you how to eliminate the doubts and replace them with an attractive side of you that your he or she will find powerless to resist. A counter reaction’ procedure that switches the power from him or her to you. This alterations in the structure means you will never again be at the mercy of your ex-partner. A strategy that generates unconditional forgiveness. It doesn’t matter whether you broke up because you strayed sexually, the pleasure that the system brings will make your ex forget your past mistakes and forgive you unconditionally. A love technique that positions you as the most important being in his or her life. These abstract ideas are explained and concretized for you to apply in your interactions with your ex. These methods aren’t only for those looking to get back with their ex—they can be used to improve your relationship with your current lover. Relationships take time, and so does getting back in a relationship with your ex. The hook your ex system website lets you purchase the book, try the technique for sixty days, and, if the results are bad, they give you your money back.

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parksqdryork · 2 years

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