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myfictionaldreams · 18 days

Text

Self Care // Bat Boys x Fem!Reader

Summary: You'd had an exhaustive day that was so busy you couldn't stop to eat, and blisters covered your hands and feet. How will your mates react when they return from Windhaven and notice your predicament? One thing is certain: they won't stop until lessons have been learnt.

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, polyamorous, mates, sunshine!reader, fluff, exhaustion, feeling faint, minor injuries, discussion of not eating, dom/sub, oral sex (f receiving), bath/intimate sex, multiple orgasms, creampie, restraints, discipline, aftercare

Words: 5.5k

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There was often a phrase best described for you by your mates and friends: 'too nice for your own good'. Always go above and beyond to help others, even if it is a detriment for yourself, and always have a smile on your face. You loved to help others, from menial small tasks to days-long projects.

The issue that your mates had with this was that you never knew when to say no and often were there to pick up the pieces, which most of the time was your exhausted body.

Your reasoning was that if it benefited others, why wouldn't you help? On a deeper level, the members of your family, your friends, and the people of Velaris had been to hell and back; it was the very least you could do if one of them asked you to carry a box or help fix their door. Except it never was just one thing. Someone notices you helping and asks if, once you're done with that project, you could come and help them.

And you never said no.

Furthermore, you never complained about it, even to your friends. You simply completed the tasks, no matter the pain or exhaustion and would return home to sleep off the discomfort. This annoyed your friends the most for an unknown reason, not comprehending how someone could moan or complain about their day.

"Just rant! Be annoyed! Scream, shout, something! Anything!" Mor had encouraged you on more than one occasion, but you'd shake your head with a smile and lie back on the sofa in front of the fire.

The sunshine part of your personality was stubborn as hell, and not helping others could make you complain.

Today, however, you were experiencing another level of tiredness. The ache throbbing through your muscles deepened enough that even your bones and joints screamed as you walked up the path to the townhouse, your home. You were also walking with muscle memory as your eyes were mostly closed and burning with how dry they were.

Blindly reaching forward, your fingers pushed against the low fence as you entered the front garden, but even this was a feat as burst-open blisters covered your hand from all the help. These injuries perfectly matched those on the back of your feet where your shoes had rubbed to the point of blisters that had long since burst and bled.

You needed a long bath, rest and a lot of food, especially as the subsequent pain to pulse through you was from your empty stomach. You'd been given water throughout the day from those you had helped, so this stopped you from fainting, but the slight tremble in your frame indicated that you were in dire need of something to eat.

As you reached the front door, a coolness swept over your mind, and his voice echoed, 'Hello, Darling. ' A shiver straightened your spine as you smiled and responded mind to mind with one Rhysand.

'Hello to you too. How's it going?' Stepping into your home, you kicked off your shoes and tried to refrain from groaning in satisfaction at the relief of having your sore feet free.

'Painfully. I'm sure Cassian is one more word away from losing his patience, which is saying a lot.'

Pausing in the entryway, you couldn't help but nervously chew on your bottom lip. 'I wish there was some way I could help you all. Do you think you'll be there much longer?'

You could hear Rhys' exhaustion through the bond, hear the heaviness behind his sigh. 'I'm unsure. I'm not staying here tonight. There's no way I'm staying away from you any longer than needs to be, and I think Cass and Az need you too.'

Your eyes drift close, and it's a rare day when Rhys truly leaves his guard down, as well as for your other two mates. You wish you could winnow, even if it meant joining them in the middle of Windhaven, a place your mates refused to take you. How were you supposed to support them when you were so far away?

'Please just stay safe, all of you. I'll be here to look after you all when you're finally home'.

Rhysand groaned through the bond, the sensation of soft fingers carrying your mind in response as he quickly muttered, 'We might be home sooner rather than later in that case'.

Chuckling to yourself, you stumbled into the living room, savouring the blast of warmth from the raging fire, helping ease the ache in your muscles and lull your mind, not helping the exhaustion as you fought to keep your eyes open.

"Is everything ok, my lady?" a voice asked from behind, causing you to jump and turn quickly on the spot, the ground beneath you understudy at the sudden movement as dizziness spiralled through you. Suddenly, two hands are on your arms, steadying you until you're safe enough to not topple over.

"Thank you both, sorry. I'm fine, just a little lightheaded, I think I'm going to go and wash up before the boys return", you explain, looking between Nuala and Cerridwen.

The half-wraith twins stared at you uncertainly, not removing their hands from keeping you upright, even as you stepped forward to walk upstairs. "You need to eat; please sit down so we may get you some food", Nuala pointed in the direction of the vast dining table, helping you into a seat as Cerridwen disappeared in the blink of an eye to the kitchen.

Then you're by yourself, left to your own thoughts. Shaky fingers wiped at your tired eyes as you tried to slow your pounding heart. It was finally beginning to dawn on you that you had pushed yourself too far today. Even with your fae abilities, your hands and feet weren't healing.

You felt it a heartbeat later. The shift in the air. The warmth returned to your soul as the proximity of your mates drew closer. It was as if everything was correcting itself. The missing part of your heart was trying to heal.

It wasn't the sound of their wings beating against the wind or the sound of the voices or footsteps that alerted you to their arrival outside your home. It was the flick of a cool shadow wisping around your fingers, tucking itself beneath your jaw, behind your ear, and remaining close.

The next few seconds were a blur of racing hearts, the last burst of adrenaline that gave you the energy to rush from your chair, run across the wooden flooring and jump into the arms of Rhysand. The joy and relief of having the three of them home was a feeling you would struggle to put a name to other than home.

Rhys wrapped his arms around you, supporting your weight as your legs tucked around his hips and arms around his neck, then reaching behind him to Cassian, who grinned and lifted his hands to cup yours but frowned, seeing the injury to yours, his mouth opening to comment on this but it wasn't him to speak first.

"You're bleeding", Azriel spoke in a voice so low and lethal your body instantly stiffened, as well as Rhys and Cassian's.

For a moment, you weren't sure any of your mates were breathing as you tried to reason with them and say, "It's fine, nothing to worry about". However, you knew it would take more than this to calm their nerves as you found yourself sitting on the edge of the table, Rhys moving with impeccable speed that had the dizzy spell returning. Still, you tried to cover it by placing your fingertips on the table, even with the soreness from the broken skin, and using the touch to ground you to the spot.

"Where?" Azriel growled from your left, his shadows taunting and pulsing with his rising emotions.

"I just had blisters on my feet; it's nothing-". You gasp as you're almost toppled over onto your back as both of your legs are lifted, one by the high lord and the other by the shadowsinger, as they each inspected a foot, cursing under their breath at the blisters and blood.

"And her hands", Cassian lowly informed as he cupped with a gentler touch around your wrists, easing both hands above your head and facing them palm up so he could inspect your injuries.

Closing your eyes with the overwhelming dread that now thickens in the atmosphere due to your mates' worry. The lightheadedness only worsened for a second. Breathing deeply through your nose and out of your mouth, you kept your eyes closed for a moment.

"It's just blisters, they'll heal. I'm sure you're all covered in worse injuries today than I am", you explained calmly, hoping the soothing pitch would equally calm your mates.

"We were, but we healed. Why haven't you healed?" Azriel asked as the coolness of his scarred fingers massaged into the sore soles of your feet, causing you to groan in relief.

"I don't know", you lied whilst tilting your head to the side, fully content on falling asleep there and then in the middle of the table with all three men's hands on you, even if two of them were still inspecting your injuries.

"Liar. Naughty little liar. Do you want to try that again?" Rhysand purred as his hand finally drifted away from your heel to the back of your calf, slipping beneath the loose material of your trousers.

You sighed in relief at the touch, feeling the sleepy sensation teetering around the edges of your consciousness. "'M not lying", you mumbled as any remaining tension in your body loosened so that you were now fully relaxed and prepared for sleep on the table.

However, all of that comfort disappeared as one of the twins appeared in the doorway, carrying a steaming hot bowl of pasta and informed your mates, "She hasn't eaten". Your body stiffened, as did your mates, your eyes flying open with panic, knowing the fallout wouldn't be pleasant and you would be chastised.

A rough hand gripped your cheeks as you were forced to look up at a frowning, upside-down Cassian as he leaned over you, "What do you mean, you haven't eaten? It's nearing the middle of the Night."

"Um. The time just got away from me, and I-".

"That's no excuse not to eat. Enough waiting around, sit, eat and then we will talk", Cassian demanded whilst releasing your hand and face. At the same time Azriel and Rhysand lowered your feet, equally annoyed as Cass. You couldn't really blame them; if it was any of them who had gone without food or drink or hadn't been able to properly look after themself due to menial tasks, you'd be pissed too, needing them to look after themselves.

Lost in your thoughts, you sat up quickly with the plan to sit in the chair next to you, but with the sudden movement, your dizziness returned full force, and your face would nearly end up planting into the floor if it hadn't for Az quickly catching your fall. Nausea tumbled through your stomach as he righted your position, keeping his arms firmly around your waist as you rested your head against his bicep.

"Slow breaths, in your nose and out of your mouth; it'll pass", Az encouraged soothingly, beginning to stroke circles into the nape of your neck with his icy fingers. It took a few minutes of slow breathing before the world righted itself by not spinning so dramatically.

Pulling away from leaning against Azriel, you blinked sheepishly up at him, expecting to see his face set in anger, but all that met you was his calm hazel stare that flicked across every inch of your face. "Sorry", you whispered timidly, steading yourself further on your feet but still holding onto Az.

"It's ok", he reassures as more of his shadows gather around you, like a bond bridging the two of you together, but they also help to keep your skin cool to help with the nauseous feeling.

Helping you into a chair, Nuala placed the bowl of food in front of you, the sick sensation immediately shifting to hunger pains as you stared at the tomato sauce drizzling over the pasta. As you reached for the fork, your hand was gently pushed away as Cass sat in the chair beside you, his knee knocking into yours and wing wrapping around your shoulder subtly.

Gazing at him in confusion as he stabbed some of the pasta with the fork before lifting it to your lips, you shook your head, suppressing a smile, "You are not feeding me, Cassian".

His eyebrow raised, questioning, the scar running through the middle stark against his golden brown skin. "Oh? I'd love to see you pick up this fork without flinching with those ruined hands, Sweetheart".

He was right, and from the smug smirk on his handsome face, he knew it too, as you didn't even bother attempting to prove him wrong. Opening your mouth, you accepted the delicious food with a deep groan as Rhysand sat opposite you and Azriel to your left, pouring water into a glass that you'd not even noticed appeared.

After a few bites of food, the twins returned with more food for the others, but they didn't attempt to start eating. You met Rhys' stare from across the table, his violet eyes dark with shadows, the stars that usually twinkle dim as he drummed his fingers against the table.

"Are you not going to eat your food?" You asked casually, continuing to eat from the fork in Cass' hand. Rhys sat up further in his seat, pulling the sleeves of his black jacket as he looked like he contemplated a thousand responses at once.

"Not until you've finished yours, Darling. Why don't you tell us about your day?"

"It's been fine, just been here and there-".

"You didn't say no again, did you?" Rhys confirmed with a head tilt, assessing your every breath.

"Maybe. It wasn't a lot, really. I'm sure your days have been far more taxing than mine; you don't want to hear me go on and on about it". You are the last mouthful of pasta, finally feeling more energetic, but at the same time, the full tummy meant that the tiredness had your eyes dropping. In an attempt to stay awake, you drank large mouthfuls of the water.

Cass chuckled from your right, his wing flexing over your shoulder as he leaned closer, his breath tickling your cheek. "Ah, you see, that's where you're wrong. I want to hear every single detail of your day. I need to hear you moan about your day and curse people out for asking for your help. I want to hear about how tired you are so I can come and pick up the pieces." Azriel coughed lowly, snagging Cass' attention as he corrected himself, "Fine, WE can pick up the pieces."

Warmth spread through your chest and to the apple of your cheeks as you stared into his beautiful eyes, feeling for the first time at peace that day.

Azriel leaned closer, crowding against your side, but only so he could ghost his lips against the shell of your ear. "He's right, Love. Do you really think I want to talk about the Hellions I've spent the day with? I'd rather not spend another second thinking about my day. You could talk to me about how you painted your pretty little nails all day, and I'd find it infinitely more fascinating than my day".

"I just feel guilty moaning about my day when-"

"Don't." Rhysand interrupted, leaning forward and holding his hands out for you. Only then did you realise that your hands had finally healed as your fingers slipped against his, feeling the rough callouses. "Don't feel guilty about being tired or frustrated; if you can't rant to us, who can you talk to? So, please tell us, in detail, about your day".

So you did. The more you spoke, the more passionate you because about what had pissed you off. No one offered you some food or if it was inconvenient for your day. You talked about how your body felt, the aches and pains, the blisters that had thankfully healed, how excruciatingly tired you were, and most of all, how you hated it when all three of them were away simultaneously.

"I know it can't be helped; you all have so much pressure and responsibilities on your shoulders, but I miss you, even if it's just for one day. It's like I can't breathe without you around, so I said yes to all these jobs to keep distracted, but now all I want to do is lie in bed with you three".

Your mates had remained silent as you ranted, intently listening, stroking your hands and arms or resting a heavy hand on your thoughts, making you feel supported and calm. It felt good to get it off your chest that you relaxed back into the arms and wings surrounding you, entirely at ease.

"Now that we can help with that", Rhys smiles, his emotions softening as he squeezes your fingers before standing up, but you frown, looking between him and the bowl of food.

"Excuse me? Talking about looking after ourselves? Sit back down right now, Mr Moonbeam and eat your dinner". Rhys raises an eyebrow at your stern words, but you don't break the eye contact until he sits back down and begins to eat from his bowl of pasta whilst mumbling, 'I knew I shouldn't have told you my surname'.

Az and Cass were both attempting to hold in their laughter as they began eating their food. You watched them devour the food in half the time you'd taken. Then Azriel's arms are underneath your knees, supporting your back and carrying you carefully towards the stairs as the other two follow.

Winding your arms around Azriel, you played with the short black hair at the nape of his neck, admiring the wisps of shadows that would circle your fingers and wrist, matching the tattoos that had developed over your time in the Night Court.

As he marched you through the corridor, a twinkle in the low lighting illuminated something that had your throat tightening in panic. "Azriel, do you have blood on your earrings?"

His steps didn't falter as he muttered, "It's been a long day". Your arms tightened around his neck, face nuzzling into his body to comfort him.

Once in the shared bedroom, Rhys moved into the bathroom, running the hot water in the bathtub as Az placed you carefully in the centre of the bed, his arm moving behind your head so your entire body was slowly and gently lowered.

His mouth is on you a breath later. Firm lips against yours, his firm muscular body pressing down between your legs until you're chest to chest. A moan formed in your throat as you desperately reached to cup his jaw. You breathed into his cheek, smelling the sweet natural aroma that has your arousal pulsing and heart racing.

His icy hand cupped around your throat, not applying enough pressure to cut off your airway but enough to keep you grounded and safe in his hands. Lifting his head to look down at you, he began to tell you his plans for the rest of the evening. "I know you're tired, and I will have you in my arms asleep soon, but first, you'll lie here and let Cassian look after you. After we move you into the bathroom, ensure you're nice and relaxed. I want to take my time with you in there, touch every inch of you, wash away today's sins, and create my own. Lastly, our High Lord will wrap you in his arms, carry you to bed and show you how much he missed you today with all his grumpy prowess".

Upon hearing this plan, you'd almost forgotten how to breathe and didn't even have the energy to react to Rhys' disapproving noise from the doorway from the bathroom at Az's dig at him. All you were capable of doing was watching every single movement that the man above you took, anticipation throbbing in your cunt.

The large wings framing his back flare as he moves and straddles your waist, his uniform stretching over his muscles as his hand carefully squeezes your throat. "Eyes on me", he instructed as you felt another set of hands on your waist, undoing the button on your jeans and beginning to remove them from your body; then you remembered that he had said Cassian would look after you first.

Assuming he'd meant for Cassian to just pick you up or cuddle you in some way, but as his hands caressed over the naked skin of your legs, you realised it meant something completely different.

"Cassian", you groan whilst trying to roll your hips closer to him, but also, your cheeks burned; you'd been walking around Veleris all day; it would probably be better to shower before anything like this happened. "Wait, let me just freshen up".

"You'll do no such thing", Cass reprimanded as the leathers of his trousers squeaked as he lowered himself to his knees, not that you could see, though, with Azriel's form completely blocking your view.

Another set of hands was then on you as Rhy carefully moved your hands above your head, his thumb stroking over the sensitive skin of your inner wrist as he held you there, looking down at you from beside his shadowsinger.

"After today, what lesson have you learned?" he asked, using his high lord voice, full of authority and power.

You're breathing heavily, lost between trying to concentrate on each of your mates. Azriel, with his body covering yours, Rhys with his restraint and question that you couldn't form an answer to, and Cassian, whose tongue was caressing your inner knee.

The hand around your throat tightened slightly, so your unfocused eyes snapped to Az. "He asked you a question, Love".

Licking your lips, you look up to your High Lord, almost purring yourself as his fingers caress the inside of your mind in a comforting manner. "To not help everyone at once?" you answered, hoping it was right, but from the condescending head tilt from Rhys, you knew it wasn't.

"Try again," he instructed, slowly kissing your temple. For a second, you breathed in his scent of the Night and a fresh ocean breeze, allowing it to wander through your scents and drown any anxieties you'd ever had for the day.

But then your legs are spread with big strong hands, and a mouth seals around your clit and sucks. With Azriel on top, you're unable to arch your back or pull free of the restraints on your arms or legs.

"Ah! Cass!" you gasp loudly as he groans, lapping away at your juices, drinking them all hungrily, causing obscene wet noises, especially as he pushes his thick tongue into your pulsing hole.

"Does he feel good, Darling?" Rhys asks as he uses darkness to brush over your cheek. Your eyes flick between him and Az, wishing you could also see Cass.

"Yes, so good" you breathe slowly, trying to regain some sort of composure, but then he's circling your clit slowly, which begins to throb in time with his movements.

"What did I ask you?" Rhys continued to question, and your mind was completely blank of any thoughts that didn't resort to sex or pleasure.

"I don't know", you stumbled over your words, your tongue beginning to feel heavy in your mouth.

"Well, let's try this again. What lesson did you learn from today?"

"That Cassian is really fucking good with his tongue", you moan, closing your eyes as the man chuckled deeply against your cunt, still moving from inserting himself within you and circling and sucking the bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs.

Azriel's hand, which had been resting beside your head, moved to cover your mouth, stopping you from saying another word as Rhys tutted loudly. "Now you know that's not what I meant, but I'm sure Cass' ego needed to be stroked just the bit more". You couldn't help but laugh as you noticed Cassian lifting his middle finger in Rhys' direction over Az's shoulder. "Now the thing is", Rhysand continued, "that Cassian isn't going to let you come until you answer my question. We've all had a long day; I think it's only appropriate that some of us learn something from it".

You frown up at Rhys, still not being able to think correctly as you thrash in their grip, wishing to ride out the pleasure that was already teetering on the very edge of becoming bliss, but then it all stops. Cassian moved away from your pussy, and your walls continued to clamp down around nothing as they chased the desire to orgasm but couldn't reach it.

Groaning in frustration, you shook your head, indicating that Az should remove his hand, which he did promptly. "I've learned today that I should wear better shoes", you say hopefully breathlessly.

Rhys clicks his tongue and confirms your failure with a simple "Nope".

"I need to exercise more so I don't feel as tired?"

"Nope".

"That I should carry snacks around with me?"

"Good idea, but still nope".

You're just about ready to scream when it dawns on you, "That I need to put my health above helping others?"

Rhys nods, lowering himself until he hovers only a few inches from your face. "Yes, and why is that?"

"Because I'm your mate?" You can tell by the disappointed look in Rhys' eyes that this wasn't the answer he sought. "Um, because I'm important?"

"Correct, and I don't want you to ever forget that. You put your own health above everyone else. If someone asks you to lift even a flower and you are late to eat or need to sit down, I need you to say no because no one is as important as you. Do I make myself clear?"

Tears lined the edges of your eyes at the sincerity in Rhys' voice, and you could only answer with a flicker of a nod; otherwise, you were sure to release a sob. Happy with your answer, you were rewarded with the delectable return of Cassian's warm, wet mouth on your most precious areas. It took almost no time at all for you to come. With Azriels hand remaining around your throat and Rhys holding down your hands, you were utterly restrained as he licked away until the waves of pleasure eased to oversensitive sparks.

The two on top of you removed themself, beginning to undress as Cass grinned up at you from between your legs, kissing up your body, leaving wet patches in his wake. The blouse you were wearing being pushed up and over your head until all that remained were your socks and bra.

Not that this was what was on your mind as you reached to run your fingers through the long black hair and desperately kiss the huge man above you. Warmth bloomed across your cheeks. You tasted yourself on his tongue, and he carefully stroked it against yours before pulling away and removing the last of your clothing.

Az then returned to pick you up and move into the bathroom, where the sweet floral scents from the foaming bath drifted through your scents, relaxing you further.

The warmth of the water and Az's comfort had your eyes closed instantly, your head falling back against his shoulder as you sat in his lap while the other two joined in the giant bathtub.

Azriel kept to his word and slowly washed away the sweat and grim from the day. Taking his sweet and delicate time as his scarred fingers started from the top of your head, massaging over your scalp and then lower, over your neck and shoulders.

In turn, you also reached behind him and wiped the blood of the earrings lining his ear, erasing the hardships from his day.

You were a constant stream of moans and groans as his magical fingers explored every inch of your skin. Your breath hitched as he circled over your breasts, tweaking the nipples and squeezing the soft tissue before moving lower.

Between your legs was his final destination. He returned to his favourite place after moving over your legs and feet.

Your eyes finally opened with great difficulty as you watched his hand move below the water as you rolled your hips on his lap, feeling his hardness poking into your lower back. The featherlight touch of his lips against your cheek had you turning your head to look back at him as he asked, "Do you want my fingers or cock, my love?"

"Mmm, your cock Az", you greedily decided, wishing to feel full and sated, knowing it would help to make you feel even more satisfied.

"My cock it is then. I'm just going to lean you against Cass's chest, ok? He'll keep you upright". Without having to move a muscle of your own accord, Az slid his arms around your waist and began to move you over to Cass, who was watching with half-lidded eyes, his face evident of his arousal that was poking out of the top of the water anyway.

Sliding your arms around his shoulders, you lazily rested your face against his cheek as Az positioned your hips further back so that you were chest down in the water, on all fours, in doggy position with your arse poking out of the water.

Your nails dug into the muscles of Cass' shoulder as Azriel slowly entered you from behind. His cock stretched you beautifully, almost verging on the tip of pain, but with the help of the water and already having an orgasm, you were prepared.

Azriel took his sweet time with you. The thrusts were long and soft, so the water wasn't too disturbed, but you still felt every inch of him. The strength of his hands on your hips kept your knees from collapsing with the pleasure, and soon he was gently fucking you through another orgasm, your cunt becoming so tight with the contractions of your walls that he too joined in your euphoria, grunting your name as he hunched over and kissed down the centre of your spin.

You'd not noticed that Cassian had also come against your chest until you moved back and saw the white slimy streaks as you sat back and the cheeky grin on Cass's face as he began to wash it off as you sat back into Az's lap.

Now, your body was threatening to entirely fall into the realm of sleep, and as the High lord took you into his arms, your eyes remained closed as you cuddled into his embrace. Using his magic, you were dried instantly so he could carry you to the bed without stopping, pulling back the covers and placing you into the centre of the bed.

He hovered over you, kissing every inch of you that he could reach, starting with your face and then down your chest as your fingers combed through his silky hair and then tugged on it gently so that you could kiss his mouth.

"I missed you. I nearly obliterated Devlon because he wouldn't stop talking, which delayed our return" Your fingers continued to stroke soothingly through Rhys' hair and cheeks. He did a whole body shiver as his wings appeared, draping across the bed, and your fingers moved to dance along the membranes, and his cock throbbed against your thigh.

It was one thing that you noticed with Rhysand. As much as the other two Illyrians confessed their wants and desires, when Rhys did it and made himself emotionally vulnerable to you, you knew that he was struggling more than first perceived. It had only been a day away, yet he needed presence. Your heart ached for him, for his past, his trauma that he tried to keep bottled up.

"I'm here; I'm not going anywhere", you reassured against his lips, tasting him and wrapping your feet around his hips until they were locked together. Much the same as Azriel, he moved slowly and methodically, his cock slowly sheathing inside your wet cunt, shuddering as you squeezed around him.

Cass and Az joined either side of you, watching your face react to the penetration of their High Lord, occasionally giving you encouraging touches and words as you came again and again until your eyes fluttered close with pure exhaustion.

Rhys rested his forehead against yours and, with a final snap of his hips, filled you fully with the spurts of come until it leaked and pooled on the bed. The ache throughout your bones and muscles was replaced with a more satisfied throbbing ache.

You were only half aware when you were suddenly moved as Rhys swapped position, so he was lying in the wet patch, and you were on top of him, your ear resting over his heart, listening to the rhythmic beat beneath. Multiple muscular arms wrapped around your back, and you were fast asleep before the lights flickered out.

#bat boys #bat boys x reader #bat boys smut #azriel x reader #azriel smut #cassian x reader #cassian smut #cassian #azriel #rhysand #rhysand x reader #acotar #acotar smut #mine*#rhysand smut

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isa-ghost · 1 month

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happy early borth use me as a vessel to infodump about your qphil headcanons immediately that’s an order >:D

This too-broad I Just Wanna Hear You Be Abnormal About Your Guy prompting thing is gonna become an inside joke between us I s2g

I think rather than hcs I'm gonna go on a rant about this sTUPID MOTHERFUCKERS WACK ASS BRAIN. YOU ARE YOUR OWN BIGGEST EMOTIONAL DETRIMENT, YKNOW THAT qPHILLIP MINECRAFT? GOD.

This entire thing applies to AMFMN Phil btw

That son of a bitch is such a MESS. He's so deep in his own bullshit he doesn't even see the times he contradicts himself or acts like a hypocrite.

He has to care for everyone (he feels obligated to as the Usually Oldest And Wisest + being constantly put into the paternal/caretaker role) but god forbid anyone takes care of him, even when he needs it most. When people take care of him he feels like he's failed somehow and he gets this not-quite ashamed or embarrassed feeling, but still Distinctly Uncomfortable And Awkward nonetheless.

He's like thousands of years old and has had more life experience to handle stress 100x heavier than "just a scratch" or "feeling a bit sad." He's spent decades just fucking around risking his life in hardcore mode, which puts near-constant strain on a person. Which has definitely warped his perception of what's too much for himself. He has a HUGE problem with being too critical of when something is or isn't Enough to be "worth" letting himself be upset or down for the count for a while. (In AMFMN he's going to be told straight up he Should Have Literally Died with how bad of shape he'll be in and that's the only reason besides his body being in literal physical shambles that he's going to remain bedridden during the recovery arc).

It's so foreign to him between his habitual isolation (hc life), rarely actually being taken down long-term by any threat, and his own evasion of being the one depending on someone that he just. He doesn't know what to do here. It's like putting socks on a dog and watching them try to walk all weird, he's like What The FUCK Is This?? How Do I Navigate This Situation?? He hates it.

Also survivalist brain hates feeling vulnerable in any way in general obviously, so that's another factor. But FUCK MAN sometimes you NEED to, it's HEALTHY even!! You dumb ass motherfucker!! Like yeah he'll cry, but not in like a Go To His Room And Let Himself Break A Little way, in a "these extremely stressful circumstances are actively happening/ongoing and it's overwhelming me so badly that I couldn't hold this back if I tried" way. Case in point: Ender King's initial arrival and how the kids couldn't see anything, or his actual possession and telling Tallulah to flee.

Alternatively if something involves not him but his loved ones, THEN he'll cry. Assuming it's not something he can do anything about (bc then his default reaction is Pissed The Fuck Off and preparing to throw infinite hands). Case in point: the goodbye letters pre-Purgatory.

But generally speaking this idiot is SO BAD at emotional self-care and letting himself be the one looked after for a change, it feeds into a lot of his other flaws (ie: being strong all the time & how he pushes that on Chay). But like. It's not just done out of refusal due to stubbornness.

It's fucking tragic, honestly. He's spent So Long being this way, he just straight up genuinely doesn't know How to be in the reversed role. Like even if he Wanted to be, it's so beyond his comprehension now that he doesn't think he Can. And a shred of why he continues not to just Start is bc he knows deep down that there is SO MUCH shit he's bottled up and buried or ignored over time, esp ever since The Nightmare, that if he let himself stop being a brick wall he'd crumble for so long he doesn't know what he'd be like once he recovered, or if he would even bounce back properly. And he does NOT like the idea of being irreversibly fucked up by properly digesting the trauma and grief and stress he's been through over the last year.

He'd rather truck on and "keep it together for the kids." :)

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qphil headcanons

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spectrumgarden · 2 months

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how do you know if you have medium support needs?

Gonna go on a bit of a long winded support needs rant here.

Frankly theres no hard lines between the terms low medium and high support needs. Medium support needs specifically is a community term, meaning it was made by autistic people instead of medical professionals. There are also many people who consider themselves right between two categories, so they'll say they are low-medium or medium-high, which honestly turns it into more of a 5 options system than 3 if you're being pedantic. And then theres also the option of describing the category further, for example like saying you are on the high end of low support needs, or the low end of medium support needs.

( slight tangent: depending on where you live there might be actual legal categories with strict definitions, based on how much support someone needs, seperate from the specific terms of LSN MSN and HSN. In germany where I live there are Pflegegrade, translating to "care degree", which has 5 levels. I am right under the point cut off for level 3, so I'm a high level 2, described as "substantial limitation of indepence and skill". (Which I think also fits well with me considering myself on the low end of MSN.) This care level translates to funding for my care by my insurance and (alongside my disability ID score and markers) is often used in services for disabled people to "prove" that I need them to begin with before the question of funding even comes up. )

When it comes to assessing these support needs, whether legally defined or community coined, you can not really get around ADLs, activities of daily living. There are bADLs and iADLs, and most lists online will be fairly similar in what they include. ADLs are used in assessing disabled peoples need for care no matter their type of disability. It's what was used for my grandmother with alzheimers the same way it's used for me or my neighbor with mobility issues.

Since there are no strict "you need to hit exactly these many of the bADLs and these many of the iADLs that you need help with in this way" rules to qualify for, anything past this point will be my subjective opinion that I formed after looking at tons of peoples self reported and caregiver reported support needs label and what they need help with, and in what capacity. Others might define this (slightly) differently.

Support basically starts at reminders and ends in someone else completely doing it for you (sometimes done as hand over hand to hopefully build motor memory so you might be able to start doing them a bit more independently in the future). Theres also the detail of "how do you define needing care" and in general disability circles, not necessarily autism specific circles, I've often seen the phrase "can you do it reliably and safely" to assess if you need help with something. So if you can only get yourself to shower once a month for example even with reminders, that would still count as requiring care of some level for it to be done reliably. Or if you can use an oven to heat up / make food but you sometimes get burns that go beyond regular "clumsiness" that also means you probably need additional support to use it safely.

From what I've seen in the community over the last few years I honestly consider bADLs to be a large deciding factor for your support needs. If I did not need help with bADLs beyond reminders I could for example probably get away with only having a few hours of support a week for things like assisted grocery shopping or driving me to a doctor's appointment or helping me write an email or make a phone call or helping me deep clean the bathroom or kitchen, while spending my day to day completely by myself. I would still have to accommodate myself the rest of the time, such as mostly relying on instant and generally low effort food, my apartment would probably never be super tidy (but also like. Majority of peoples apartments get messy on the regular, I should know from my friends that are all 100% abled), and relying on a schedule, for example an app or physical list on the wall, for bathing, dressing and grooming.

But because I need prompting for my bADLs to be done reliably in any way or form I suddenly need a lot more care, so this small detail made it go from 1-2 days a week to daily.

with bADLs (and similarly iADLs but that's not the focus right now) it starts with people who need no help with them, then people directly below me who need reminders for (some) of them, people like me who need prompting and on bad days hands on help with some. And over that are people who need prompting for most if not all of them, and ending in people who need hands on help for all of them. And if you crammed that entire experience all into high support needs and left low to medium support needs open for people who only need help with iADLs it would be way too much for the HSN category alone I think. But if you extended it into low support needs it would also make low support needs basically useless as a term. Which to me means it makes the most sense to consider needing some help with bADLs beyond reminders the thing that sort of starts the category of medium support needs applying. Because frankly speaking reminders dont take up a lot of time, often can be done virtually or without the need for another person via reminders and checklists etc. Which is a stark contrast to someone who needs to be walked through a task from beginning to end by someone by their side at all times. So you can need help with most/all of your iADLs, which means you still need a relatively high amount of care if you look at it from an abled perspective ( i.e. someone to control your finances for you, and organize your transportation, and help you keep your environment clean, ...) and maybe rely on a phone app that reminds you to brush your teeth and shower, and still be low support needs, because you're putting it in the perspective of the large variety that is disabled experiences.

Lastly I do think the ADLs are not perfect, for example at least older definitions usually do not include things like if you can engage in fun activities by yourself such as watching media or reading or drawing, whatever you enjoy, or how effectively you can communicate in daily life even though that is in itself important to your quality of life and will affect how much time needs to be spend on your care. However they are the best we have currently and make a lot of sense.

#i have read this like a hundred times now trying to figure out if what i said actually is what i *want* to say #because the two dont always match up lol #at this point this does not even make sense to myself anymore. might as well have written gibberish #i hope it makes sense to you though anon #asks

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b0njourbeach · 13 days

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Last but not least:

My Rook Hunt rant!

(Long have I been trying to avoid it because, oh boy. This man gives me so little to accept as Canon and so much to speculate.)

Book 5/6 mentions

Rook is such fascinating character. Both in his actions, his design, habits, his mind - Everything. No doubt he's rather odd the way he is, this peculiar little guy with a mind as unique as the spring flower and as mysterious as the universe. Yet, there have been certainly some aspects in game where you can see his distinctive personality and that he's far beyond Savanaclaws natural enemy and #2 Neige Fanboy (reference intended).

For one, I really like to speak a particular moment in-game that has many Neige-"disliker", Rook Fans and Vil Enjoyer on edge:

And everyone be like "Don't let Vil hear", "Vil's not gonna be happy about that one", "Vil about to overblot for a second time" and so on. But there's just so much wrong with it. Because the literal four sentences after that one were:

"But it wasn't Neige himself who moved me. It was all the elements of the show combined that made him shine. There was the music, costumes, and overall design, of course. And the wizard and other cast, members were spectacular-- especially the villains."

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Vil the Villain in the show? It would've been perfect crumbs for the RookVil shippers but all they see is "omg, Rook fanboys about Neige." And there's another thing that people deeply seem to hate about Rook:

"He made Vil overblot because he betrayed him!"

He did not. It's not even because I like Rook and justify his actions, it's plain and simply wrong. Rook "betrayed" Vil and NRC sure (although I already gave my opinion about that topic here) but Rook has *not* caused Vils overblot. The story is quite simple: Vil tries to poison Neige -> He gets stopped -> Overblots -> They all perform -> Rook votes for RSA. The End. End of story. No discussion needed. I'm sorry if you can't comprehend the story line but I am not going to discuss over such simple period of time that happened in the matter of a few chapters.

But I'll get to Rooks special love for Neige and Vil later. First I'd like to talk about the eccentric Hunter himself but oh boy, where do I even start? There's so much to unpack, yet there is barely anything to work with.

(I'd like to mention at this point that I find it extremely hilarious that we get the most Rook/Pomefiore lore not in the Book of Pomefiore but literally a Book later during their break in into the Island of Woe and during the Escape out of Tartarus. Like alright, you had your Book but casually Loredrop on us because why the fuck not. We're all about to get royally fucked every turn but you go girl.)

The first time we get to meet Rook is during Book 2 where MC and the Heartslabyul gang tries to protect potential victims of the mysterious destruction. When do we get to see him again? I don't even remember, he just shows up, fucks around and disappears like hepatitis. I think outside of Book 5 and Book 6, the only *real* sight of Rook is in events or Vignettes which mainly imply him bothering the hell out of whoever has his current attention.

We've got Leona being watched by a blushing Rook in Rooks Labcoat Vignette, Malleus who throws an object with insane speed almost directly into his face because Rook was a little too interested in Lilia in his Sports Uniform Vignette, his Ceremonial Robes Vignette was basically him wanting to take a shower in Octavinelle and forcing Floyd to come with him (one of the funniest interactions if you ask me). These are the only cards I own and I'm rather slacking off when it comes to keeping up with all Vignettes and Events, so the only one I can talk about is his Culinary Crucible Vignette where he was pretty much his blushing self while watching Cater doing his thing (Poor Chef who thought Rook was just extremely excited to cook).

All these interactions seemed rather silly to me - Until I watched/read Rooks Halloween Vignette where he talks a little about his childhood: He was a child who struggled greatly to express himself. That was, until his parents took him to watch the fateful Play that was previously mentioned in the screenshot I've shown. That day, he became the person we see now: The dramatic and overly expressive Rook, that could be the prime example of a theater kid.

If we keep this in mind, his actions suddenly make sense: Theater is build on dramatics, exaggeration and poetry. If you struggle to express yourself but learn from something as expressive as acting, it's only natural that you're becoming this overwhelming expressive being we see in Rook. So I personally believe that he has no ill intention when being himself. In fact I believe it's the only way he can express himself and he's mildly smart it about it as well:

He knows that his extroverted nature is overwhelming to introverts such as Leona (for example), so he keeps his distance. Yet, he can't help but admire the beastman for the person he is - So in order to not overwhelm him, he watches from afar. This, on another note, leads to him having this "stalker" being. Though he keeps pushing his luck by ignoring any kind of boundary being put up by anyone (no matter if it's Leona, Ruggie or even Floyd who, in the end, just accepted his fate).

I also believe that him being naturally rather incapable of expressing himself is one part of why we know so little about him. Another part is - in my opinion - that he's purposely hiding. Not in the literal sense but in the way Cater hides himself. Rook is a prime example of "pretending to be overly opened up but in reality it's a facade to hide your real being" (I can promise you, it's an actual psychological thing. I just can't remember the name rn and I'm too lazy to Google it). You'd look at Rook and believe you know everything about him but you barely know how many siblings he has or if his parents are still alive. In fact, the only thing we know is that he has a large (and extremely wealthy) family that is big enough that they barely manage to see each other.

This is where I come to another point: It's a common belief that the Tweels are a Mafia family but I don't think I've ever seen anyone say the same thing about Rook, yet it would make sense. He's a hunter, he knows how to kill (and I don't doubt he did it too), he survived in the most absurd situations in the wild, his observation skills are almost inhumane and his family is much a secret as the pictures behind his wallpaper. I know we, as a fandom, joke about it but has anyone genuinely considered that Rook may or may not have a criminal family? It would certainly explain why he has the vibe of a rough guy yet the behavior of Royalty - Sure, it may also be because he's part of Pomefiore but realistically speaking: You can't tell me that he "fixed" habits he gained during his whole life growing up, then one Model (which is obvious Vil) comes across and suddenly he's the little petite guy. There had to be at least a base growing up that Vil just intensified.

I currently feel like I'm missing half of fhe things I want to say about him, fuck my life.

Ah, there is one thing I'd also like to talk about that people either misinterpret, mischaracterize or ignore: His relationship with Epel. Many view Rook as nothing but Vils little Lap dog, the Chihuahua in his purse if you will - While I can understand that, there's more to him and it's especially showing when Rook is talking with Epel. If Rook would be truly as loyal as Vil would hope him to be, he wouldn't be as nice to Epel as he is. Not only in Book 6 (which is undoubtedly one of the biggest "supportive step dad" moments), we can find Rook multiple times trying to help out dear Farmerboy to adapt to the fancy life in Pomefiore by giving him educated tips and hints without judging him (One specific moment I have in mind is Epels Ceremonial Robes Vignette where Epel struggled to handle the fancy way of eating that was wanted in Pomefiore - Instead of judging Epel like the other pretty boys do, Rook actually tries to help him out). Just had to add this because it's such subtle hint on his nature yet it's such a sweet way.

I feel like I've been missing a few things right now but they won't come to mind, so it is what it is. Since I killed the limit, the HCs are here.

#twisted wonderland #twst #rook hunt

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illegiblewords · 4 months

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Serious talk about meta under the cut.

I don't know who might need to hear it, but fwiw mental flexibility is a huge part of analysis (and interacting with other humans lol). You need to be able to account for multiple possibilities when examining a work, or understanding a social exchange. You need to be able to separate what is objective fact from your own subjective interpretation and judgment. The most negative interpretation is not automatically the most worthwhile or true. Someone throwing accusations around in-line with their own worst interpretations does not guarantee those accusations are warranted. You are not a bad or stupid person for disagreeing. Shit needs to withstand scrutiny. I don't always strike the right balance myself. I do the best I can but I'm definitely not perfect. Tbh I'm not beyond pettiness either--although I try to keep that out of actual analysis lol. There have been times I've griped to friends privately or blogged about how I felt (sans tags, with spoiler blocks so people can opt out). I've griped recently. I'm bound to gripe again in the future. Some level of griping is inevitable imo and I figure no one is 100% immune.

All that said, even if someone’s take isn't canon AND even if it's something I really dislike--I'd personally rather people follow their passions anyway. Hands down. I could be in the middle of a rant and my answer would still be that the subject of my frustration gets to exist. I'm not the boss and odds are we're going with different versions in our own heads. Discouraging another fan from creating due to my preferences or narrative approach would horrify me. I've seen fandoms where gatekeeping like that killed the creative community and it was fucking awful.

Not everyone is confident in their own judgment. Not everyone faced with a pissed off person trying to use lore and accusations like clubs will feel okay continuing with their own vision. Elitism and manipulation (especially through rhetoric) can be present within analysis. People are not being taught how to recognize those things properly. Analysts aren't always aware or invested enough to even be careful. It’s legit easy to get caught up in ideas or feelings to the point of forgetting about other people’s, and adjusting to account for alternate approaches takes some work. For me at least, I think having a 'no insults' policy and being super careful when it comes to absolute claims (assertions not qualified by 'I think' or 'it could be argued') helps.

Anyway. Just because a person calls something ‘meaningless’ doesn't make it meaningless. Someone pooh-poohing an observation you made doesn't make your observation less true or important. Employing a literary term doesn't mean that individual actually understands the term, how it works, or how to apply it. Which is to say nothing of romantic chemistry or whatever. I encourage readers to extrapolate on this. ‘Shallow’ could apply as much as ‘meaningless’. Denying parallels exist by itself doesn’t actually negate those parallels. Your version of a character may not be the same as the fan next to you’s and that difference doesn't have to detract. There's more I could say on the subject (I've edited out a lot) but basically--just because another fan isn't into what you're doing doesn't automatically make what you're doing wrong, immoral, shoddy, or otherwise less.

Seriously, vet shit. Question the entire premise an analyst tries to establish then decide for yourself if it holds water. Turn over word choices and assertions in your head before deciding if they're appropriate. Do it to me too. I don't care if someone is the holy goddamn emperor of analysts. Just because a person says something is good or bad, true or false, whatever the hell doesn't make it so. Just because a person uses a technical term doesn't mean they're discussing it effectively. Quality of argument matters beyond the packaging it’s wrapped in. It's important to protect yourself from people whose priority is enforcing their own preferences, including dismissing things they aren't partial to.

I just don't want anyone shamed silent man. Not even people whose takes drive me up the fucking wall. Neither I nor any other analyst is an authority here. And there are people who are absolutely ready to take advantage of other people’s insecurities to assert themselves. Might not even be malicious, just indifferent.

For me, analysis feels kind of like uncovering a dinosaur skeleton. I want to share the cool and exciting things I find with other people. Sometimes I might be sorting out what my own thoughts and feelings are. It's also possible to examine why you're uncomfortable with something, or why you love something another person hates, while making very clear what is YOUR READING and not THE READING. Offering a variety of possibilities is very different from presenting yourself as the only correct one. One note at the end when everything else was insulting and intolerant is like a band-aid over a wound.

EDIT: As a last point, that I'm throwing in just-in-case. If anyone reading this thinks they may have overreached and done stuff I've mentioned + feels shitty about it… that's still not the end of the world. It’s okay. This is hard stuff to learn and I really don't think anyone's perfect at it. Worth the effort though. Just gotta take a deep breath, acknowledge you're a fallible human same as everyone else, and do the best you can going forward. Life goes on.

#saw one that horrified me a bit recently #involved a combination of overreaching + insults + purity culture #I can totally imagine buying in and being seriously fucked up by it when I was younger #I don’t want that happening to anyone else #it's okay to talk about NOTPs man but there are more and less responsible ways to do that

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walkawaytall · 8 months

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Oh no, I’m participating in Star Wars discourse.

Uh, so there’s a post floating around that I’m not reblogging mainly because it’s just this person’s headcanon and, whatever, people can have headcanons, but the main points they make in the midst of talking about their headcanon that I’ll be addressing are:

Leia and Han getting married and having kids is the most boring thing you can do with Leia

Leia should be a Jedi like every other dang Skywalker because somehow continuing an assumed dynasty isn’t the most boring choice you can make for her

Leia is more cut out to handle lack of attachment than Luke which we know because of her lack of response to Alderaan being destroyed

Leia and Han shouldn’t get married or even be around each other much because Han is a wandering soul and needs to travel and go places

Leia never expresses a desire for marriage or children in the OT, so removing these things won’t contradict George Lucas’ canon

And, look, these are just…missing the point of the character growth that occurs in these two during the OT.

(there's just a whole-ass essay below the cut if anyone cares to read about the many thoughts I have on Leia Organa and Han Solo.)

So, I'm not saying existing or past canon/EU has done it right, but I disagree with the statement that having them marry and live kind of basic lives is the most boring choice. If that's all there was to it, sure, but those two choices by themselves show a monumental amount of character growth for both Leia and Han. (I mean, frankly, I think "Skywalker = Jedi every time no matter what" is a pretty boring choice storytelling wise, but I also think the Jedi on the whole are incredibly boring characters, so, uh...I'm biased.)

Leia was never going to live a quiet life even if Alderaan hadn't been destroyed. Like, she did not have that option, period. She would have either remained in politics or taken over as queen, may or may not have had to marry for political reasons, and may or may not have been involved with the Rebellion. Her life was chaos starting as a teen and she had no reason to believe she wouldn't die living a hectic and chaotic life.

And then she loses everything. This isn't emphasized in the movies obviously because they are fun family romps and not gritty dramas, but, good night, in a single second, she loses every family member, nearly every person she knows, every place she finds most familiar and comfortable, everything and to top it all off, the guilt that it's happened because of her unwillingness to give up the Alliance will probably always be there. She was tortured, they lost lives in battle, and, yeah, they destroy the Death Star, but at the end of that day, literally all she has left is the Alliance and those three pilots who managed to unlock her cell door without too much trouble.

I don't know about you, but I'd be straight-up shut down emotionally at that point. Like, I don't think PTSD even covers what Leia probably has going on in her head. And I think that's kind of what we see in ESB (I know the filmmakers weren’t thinking in terms of PTSD, but there are still hints of it there regardless). She's angry, she's afraid of losing people (she's obviously pissed Han is leaving after he said he'd stay, but also, there's a scene that was cut -- a good move in my opinion because the dialogue is beyond dramatic and Carrie seems out of it, but it stands that this was the intended source of Leia’s frustration -- where Luke is telling Leia he's leaving the Alliance for Dagobah and she is extremely upset that both he and Han are leaving, goes on a whole rant about how she should know better than to trust anyone but herself, etc.), and when she finally lets Han in, she promptly loses him and nearly loses Luke.

And then the events of ROTJ happen and she finds out that the man who tortured her, who stood idly by while her entire planet was destroyed, who tortured the man she loves and handed him off to the space mob to be murdered, who cut off her brother's hand and nearly allowed him to die, who has terrorized the Galaxy in general, that guy is her bio dad. And that guy is the entire reason she's Force-sensitive.

Leia stopping her Jedi training in the new canon was for a dumb reason, I agree there. Leia not wanting anything to do with the thing that, from her point of view, nearly ruined her life and the lives of those she loves about a thousand times over...I dunno, I think that's way more interesting than her just going, "Ope, I'm a Skywalker! You know what that means! Gotta be a Jedi!" And as far as her being more of a natural at it...do we know that Leia is better at healthy non-attachment than Luke? Like, any response to a planet being destroyed could easily just be a trauma response. Is shutting down like that good, actually? Or is it just going to cause problems down the road, Anakin-style?

I don't know, I just think that after living through all of that as well as a freaking war, girly might want a quiet life -- that she gets to choose -- with a husband -- who she gets to choose -- and kids -- who she gets to raise without the threat of the Empire or her nightmare of a biological father looming over their lives. And the very fact that she's able to open herself up to that sort of love and affection when the fear that it might all be ripped away from her is likely ever-present is a big deal. Her having kids knowing they'll likely be Force-sensitive even though that aspect of her biology terrifies her is a big deal. And as far as her not expressing a desire for marriage and kids in the OT...I mean, Leia isn't given the opportunity to express her desire for much in the OT, let's be real (she also never expresses a desire to become a Jedi in the OT either. We can't use what Leia didn't express in the OT to dictate whether she wants or doesn't want something is what I'm saying). They're at war. She's a military leader. She probably can't even hazard wishing for anything beyond waking up the next day. But that's not to say she didn't want such things or grow to want such things once she felt it was safe to do so. We literally don't know, but I don't think the absence of that expressed desire is indicative of anything.

As far as Han goes, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure in every iteration of his story, his itchy feet weren't like...a part of his personality. He had a highly traumatic childhood that left him with few options and ended up living a transient lifestyle out of necessity. He actually seems remarkably easy to keep around if you don't treat him like garbage. I mean, he's given exactly one day of friendship, and he sticks around with the Rebellion for three years before some run-in with a bounty hunter makes him realize he needs to take care of his debt with Jabba. He's not leaving just for funsies or because he's bored or just really needs to be a smuggler again...and he seems legitimately sad have to leave when he's not busy getting pissed at Leia for not having the emotional response he wants her to have (first half of ESB Han is being a big ol' baby and I'm perfectly fine admitting that). And what character growth to see Han "I'm in it for the money" Solo learn to care for his friends, learn to support a cause, learn to love Leia when he's spent so much of his life unattached. Han making boring life choices is indicative of character growth and learning to care about others more than himself. What a lovely thing for this man to learn.

The call for Leia and Han to remain living separate lives but still committed to one another kind of demands that they move backward in character growth in my opinion. We have two people who are in rough places due, by and large, to trauma, who eventually open up to one another and seem better for it and then they...just go back to what they were doing before except they occasionally see each other? Why would they want that? They've grown as people, they've won a dang war, and they're finally able to live somewhat securely. Why wouldn't they want to live basic lives when they were denied the privilege of such choices for so long? And how is them making choices based on their love for another person — love that they had a heck of a time coming to terms with — boring?

#leia organa #han solo #star wars #star wars meta #star wars discourse

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kimyoonmiauthor · 5 months

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Worldbuilding: !@#$ the terfs, be more creative with gender and bio sex than a binary system.

9.5 times out of ten the majority of gender systems I read in US books are really, really uncreative, and I do mean that because manga, has more creative gender systems than a lot of US books. I love you Melanie Rawn, but still, the inversion as good as it was in the uncompleted Ruins of Ambrai, still was largely a European system because it was largely a commentary on the European system. (Yes, I did understand that.)

And the US tends to, very much accuse other countries of having uncreative gender systems that are absolutely rigid, say the US to Japan. (Though the usually [white] understanding of Japanese gender is usually abysmal... but that's a whole paper and a half there.)

When building a gender system, be more creative! You have this other fake culture. You can do whatever the heck you feel like. Say, the Barbie Movie, which hilariously the alt-right USian detested, though it still was a commentary on mostly US gender norms.

Can't we loosen this up a little? You have literal aliens and you can't imagine a more creative sex and gender system than the binary? Oh really? Humans aren't even binary on either. I'm going to give cultural examples.

Introduction

Bugis have 5 genders.

BTW, someone got so mad when I pointed out the page they cited said that Bugis recognized 5 genders, they went on a youtube rant about it. lol Deal. BTW, people put a lot of emphasis on Bissu like how people hyperfocus on trans women in the US because masculinity is that fragile. Albanian is complicated.

Some countries/ethnicities have 3.

India has a 3 gender system in Northern India. Women, men, Hijra

I mean this list:

Some countries don’t even define the two gender system the same way (Europeans are sooo uptight. Loosen up.)

For example, a Korean man wearing pink--no problem. No one flips the hell out when a man in Korea wears a hanbok with a chima and a jeogori. They are like cool. He can do as he likes. Even baksu wear chima in religious ceremonies. They believe it gives them extra powers.

The whole pants. are. for. men. and. women. only. wear. skirts.

Oh c'mon...

Pants were invented for horseback riding--like the heel.

So let's get this mind-numbingly straight (pun somewhat intended here) Men, are men because of horses. (haha, yes, Barbie reference), thus have to wear pants. But are absolutely effing forbidden from wearing heels, which are also associated with what? Horseback riding. Hmmm...

And men still wear dresses and skirts, but they call it by other names.

Judicial robes for sale, and look, a man is wearing them.

But--But that's soo different from a dress...

https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-jp/shop/product/la-doublej/clothing/maxi-dresses/muumuu-printed-silk-twill-maxi-dress/38063312420399795

This is a dress because as Webster's Dictionary says:

: an outer garment (as for a woman or girl) usually consisting of a one-piece bodice and skirt

Yes, it's worn by a woman. I couldn't find another definition.

But men also wear sarongs. And bath towels, and kilts all of which look suspiciously like skirts. And togas. Which shows how fragile the definition is that you need to narrow the definition that much.

And freaking for those religious, God on the Sistine Chapel, by suspected maybe gay Michelangelo, has a vaccuum sealed butt on the Sistine chapel wearing a pink dress.

C'mon, we can be more creative than this, surely. I mean, if you look at this super rigid gender system, does it make any sense at all? OK, I'm NB and all, but seriously, I look at it and go, WTF happened to you?

You get so uptight about men wearing lace, stocking, high heels, dresses, pink but forget so quickly that less than 200 years ago, no one gave a damn, and if a man didn't wear those things, he couldn't make it in high society.

I mean...

Lafayette, wearing pink, heels, stockings, lace (his collar), and a wig. Give me a break here.

And gender definitions change over time...

Just about 100 years back, in order to be out and gay, it was thought your entire gender was different. There was nothing like a butch gay man. You were considered part female, in fact. And no one in the 19th century would have taken exception to that. It didn't change until much later in Europe.

But also Europe imperialized the world with gender expectations, leading to a rise of violence against third gender communities.

What was one of the first three rules of culture I posted? Culture changes. Koreans like to say, even in ten years the Mountains and rivers change. So gender can and will also change in definitions becoming more rigid, more fluid, recategorized, etc over time.

So given all of these things... let's rethink gender.

Gender doesn't have to be Defined by Sex Assigned at Birth

A lot of Human cultures assign gender this way. Born one way, raise them that way, hope it works out.

But you have a whole FANTASY WORLD and you can see, humans don't make a lot of logical sense when it comes to gender. I mean heels are for women, and men should never wear them, except when they are attached to boots, but the boots better not be too high , or you're *gasp* gay is the European "logic" system. And only what? 50 or so years ago, women were finally allowed to wear pants.

So you don't have to do it by genitals. You could do it by hair color. Gender affirming care would be changing your hair color, or horns, or whatever tickles your fancy. You could, say have a cephlapod species with smaller males that can present female part of the time, and based on their texture of their skin, that's their gender.

You could do it by color--the species has actually blue, dark blue, green, yellow, etc skin colors and they can change them at any moment and the one they tend towards, well, that's their gender.

You could also make it so you automatically need a polycule for the species to work out and reproduce. And thus there might be, say a 6 gender system. 2 possible genders for the three adults there.

C'mon. Nature is creative and sometimes has an all female species. Look at Mourning geckos. There are so few males, and they are sometimes called a lesbian species of gecko.

Even then, you have intersex, and not all intersex people are infertile.

Terfs only think it's wrong to "go against nature" when it has to do with gender presentation. Nothing else. But they have no, no problem with assigning a sex to an intersex child without their consent. That's culture taking over for nature. And how that is shaped, or not shaped, absolutely belongs in world building.

If your men aren't horseback riding, and your women aren't either, then dresses for all are fine. Deal with it.

I think it would be entertaining to see an alien species determine the gender of the child by holding up paint swatches to the child's say eyes and then saying, "Yep, a girl."

Or even well, the birther stayed in # temp rooms, for # amount of days, Oh, this is the expected sex of the child. But the gender, well, we will determine that by these [arbitrary] factors.

But seriously, you can define gender and sex however, you want. Is medical/magic intervention necessary or not? Who gets to determine it?

Next step is to find the rules for how gender is expressed in an idealized world.

Do you constantly call all of your girls and tell them they can grow up to be a princess? But tell all your boys they are going to grow up to be doctors and lawyers?

This is what Social Scientists would call socialization.

For this, I would suggest you make a spreadsheet and then put down arbitrary lists of things the "ideal" gender would wear. So for the US, Pink is for girls. Blue is for boys. How they should act. And finally, how they are taught.

It's so ubiquitous that even feminists often trip up and see a baby in a pink dress with lace and automatically pick up a doll. (I'm just saying, maybe think that one over a bit.)

Make a list for each column. And then for the individual characters figure out how they DON'T fit those norms and then terrorize them with it...

What do you threaten the privileged group with if they come out of line?

For men in the US, for example, you go with homophobia. "That's gay."

Because the threat of being gay is sooo outlandish. *eyeroll* It's an threat to everything masculine.

I'll go over this in more detail later in the series, but you need things to discipline the privileged group and the disadvantage group(s). What's the threat if you become this other group? Death? Social ridicule? Financial loss? Being outcast?

Or, do you get rewarded and become a shaman, a healer, or a celebrated hero for being able to not fit in? (This also is possible).

Cultural justifications

Cultural justifications for this are different from the actual historical reasons or the facts.

The historical reason that pink and blue switched was because dyes became more readily available for both and they felt like it.

Blue used to be more rare, and thus considered "virginal" because blue is rare in nature, but under industrialization as people became more and more disconnected from nature, and blue dyes became available, the idea of this became more diluted, and the switch was from blue to pink.

That's not what the cultural justifications were for this thought originally. The thought was that blue was a more "delicate" color, clearly more suited to women.

Because, if you have forgotten (yes a joke coming), humans constantly get amnesia on where things come from. Constantly. We've lost information in your own lifetime. You were born 2 seconds ago? Well, I hate to tell you, we've lost information in that 2 seconds.

So, when they can't remember the reason, Humans make up a reason to go with it, that's often frivolous and silly. Something that feels, what? Natural to them. Though remember the rule, Nature gives no fucks. So find and make up a logical reason for the cultural item and then find a stupid reason that people are willing to double down on it and there you go, that's culture. So say your species of aliens, the ones that are temperature linked to sex, link Iunno, gender to horn size. Bigger horns mean a certain class of gender. The original reason might be that bigger horned females are better at digging nests back when they were a pastoral society, thus better able to have larger clutches of children. But they've now reached the stars, so they completely forgot why and now just say that bigger horns are simply sexier because reasons. Or it could have flipped that smaller horns are in more demand, because big horns get in the way of industrial tasks, but no one says that. And now the bigger horned females, are considered a lower gender than the smaller horned females, who then raise all of the eggs.

See, the justification doesn't even have to follow any sort of logic. It's what they tell everyone to make them feel better.

And truthfully, a lot of culture is built this way. The reason you tell everyone isn't really the actual truth. I mean I did a whole series on Story Structure, and the justifications versus the reasons why it was made that way don't even close to match. People blindly parrot what other people tell them if it will help them succeed. (BTW, not saying I'm not guilty of this, I absolutely am.)

So I think this gives you a good basis to free yourself up for a larger system and be more creative with your gender definitions. Because absolutely both gender and sex are defined by culture, but in different ways.

You have effing demons, and you can come up with a more creative gender categories? You have unicorns and you don't have more creative gender categories. And you have kracken climbing buildings, but you can't imagine a third sex category for them when it absolutely exists in nature. C'mon. Hit me with your most creative and free yourself of your own culture's definitions of gender.

What if you nuked the entire Male/female/NB system. What would that look like? How would you justify it on two fronts? Blow that system out of the water and rework it. What would the Sexual orientation work like with a 3 sexes, 2 gender for each each system?

What stupid prohibitions would you put in for such a system?

#writing advice #worldbuilding #gender #be more creative with gender please

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sabrondabrainrot · 1 month

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I forget I can just ramble and rant my thoughts!

I try to focus on sharing just my art but I also do writing and try to have a bit of a critical mind when it comes to media I consume.

Now that it has been a few months since I watched all of TMNT 12 I do have some thoughts and opinions and kind of want to just ramble about it before I forget, in an informal manner.

I at first really liked it, it was the second TMNT show I watched after Rise, now that I've been watching the 87 and 03 shows my opinions on 12 did change just a bit but I still do like it!

Literally all the turtles are my son's now. Especially Leonardo (he's blue coded so-). I just think they're so cute and neat!!!

I'm going to put thoughts to spoiler stuff of 12 so if you plan to watch the show then don't click beyond this point!

🐢💙🐢♥️🐢🧡🐢💜

So in the last season of TMNT 12 it kind of feels like all the scrapped ideas or random plots that couldn't be fit into the prior seasons were put in this one? I really like the new op it gives of Cowboy Bebop vibes. The op song change is really nice to because I never really looked the tmnt 12 op song before.

However, the plots feel all over the place? There's a mini ark where they're jumping through time meeting Halloween monsters and then another ark where Mikey defeats Satan? Then we get another really tiring ark that's this implied alternate madmax fury road parody that is honestly so depressing? Donnie is just dead.

Which btw, the show likes killing ppl off for dramatic effect. They killed Master Splinter three times and had Mikey and Donnie get scattered to atoms on two separate occasions. I should also mention Leo was in a coma for 3 months with no IV or anything and he woke up relatively fine.

Anyways, going into the last season and stuff leading up to it... They kind of ended with the 87 turtles and the 12 boys finding new passion and inspiration from teaching the 87 boys. I didn't really vibe with it because it just made the 87s the butt of the joke and made them out to be incompetent silly little guys.

They ARE silly little guys but the thing is they're not incompetent. The 87 boys have done some insanely incredible things even when unarmed. Especially when unarmed. I actually think the angle of finding a new way to help people as a means to end the series on an inspired note is fine, the 87 boys even carried on the will and told Bebop and Rocksteady they can be more than Shredder's mutant henchmen. It is very cute and wholesome. I just think they could have maybe done it differently?

Why not set up for them to teach Chi arts? The turtles of 87 don't have any mystical abilities and it would have been interesting to do a set up like that? There are ways to write the finale without just dumping on the original source.

Focusing back on the ending of 12, we also leave on a seriously alarming note. It's just a big mixed bag. After Master Splinter went to run on the hamster wheel in the sky, Leonardo was handed the reigns of the family. He was told "You're the teacher now Leonardo. You're the father. Look after your brothers" and Splinter then willingly walked into his own death. I think the writers maybe thought this was amazing and inspirational or something but I found it incredibly messed up? We start tmnt 12 on all 4 boys birthday. Meaning Splinter himself considers them all to be the same age. And since the series was running they haven't on screen celebrated a birthday and from the implied weather changes most of the seasons 1-4 seem to take place over just a year??? We don't get a definitive timeline (or I'm a bad audience and didn't notice).

So one can only assume Master Splinter was telling his...15 year old son to be the father to his other 15 year old children.

Why do I bring this up at all? After Leonardo takes over the family and he KILLS shredder they go into this rushed cult demon resurrection arc that culminates in the classic dead walk the earth and Mikey defeats Satan. In this arc we meet a ghost splinter who does not even go to see his kids, he just helps Casey and April. But throughout and the lead up to this we have moments of Leo having conversations with what we can perceive as Sensei's ghost in the dojo.

But the climax of the arc cements splinters ghost has not once visited his son's.

So Leonardo is quite literally having full on conversations, in the dojo for his brothers to hear, with a hallucination of his dead dad. He's coping this way. His family does nothing about this.

Tmnt 2012 has the worst Splinter. He ignored his son's and chose favorites. He told Leonardo to die (season 1 finale). He calls Mikey dumb and insights the others to do it too. He told Raph his anger makes him exactly like Shredder and never elaborates or teaches him how to better work through his issues. And he straight up calls Donnie useless.

None of that is even an exaggeration. Adding context just makes it worse.

Here's a list:

Do you know the turtles are the equivalent of helicopter raised homeschool boys? They've never stepped foot outside of the lair except at the start of ep 1.

They learn ALL of their lessons from old shows and cartoons. The show writers even sometimes use the cartoons to set up the theme of the episodes!

When Leonardo rescues Mikey he pats him on the head to comfort him.

Literally almost all of their ninja weapons have hidden weapons. I love it I wish I saw more of them using them.

Michelangelo is the family chef because somehow none of the rest have any life skills. Not even Splinter (explains so much).

They all have such cute shape language. I love bean pole Donnie, blocky buff Raph, perfect pear Leo, and round freckled Mikey.

They also now have unique eye colors. I love their eyes. Donnie with his big beautiful brown eyes (sometimes they look red). Raph with his acid green stare into your soul eyes, they look like they would glow like mako eyes in ff7. Mikey with bright blue eyes all big and round. And then Leo with the cunning dark blue eyes!

I just want to pinch their cheeks and kiss their foreheads and give them hugs.

Also, Leo is so affectionate to kids and his brothers??? My heart??? Couldn't take it??? He just randomly hugs them?? He had a tea party??? He wore a pink feather boa? The way he just immediately held baby Miwa??? Too good. Too good. He's such a good big bro.

Raph is also such a soft guy. Like yes he's a Butthead that beats up his brothers and takes every single violent urge out on Leo when he's even minorly inconvenienced but he does learn to do better. He helps Leo a lot and he even is there for the others a lot too.

Raphael also does art and seems to like fine arts.

Raph, like Leo, is a resident baby man. He loved tiny helpless creatures. He had a pet turtle he loved with his entire being and then later on adopted a space alien baby turtle that he also loved with his entire being.

I love Donnie in this, his cute little tooth gap, his gentle demeanor, the fact he'd rather be in the lab than training. I feel bad for him tho cause he clearly wants Splinter and Leo's approval with his inventions and efforts but very rarely gets it (Leo is the only one to really praise him and get what he does). He's also a good team player but he has so much stress and no confidence.

Donnie needs a big ol hug.

Mikey is so cute. But he is so weird. Why did they write girly pop collecting underwear. Why did they have him cannibalize a mutant pizza man? They do the most random things with Mikey. I like that he avidly tries cheering ppl up. He tries so hard for his bros. He's just a sweet little guy. I wish they did more with the baby bro.

Mikey should have kept his lightning powers.

They fight a lot but all the brothers love each other. I think they're just stressed and cooped up too much.

I like drama tho it's juicy when they argue.

I read on the wiki that Donnie is supposed to be canon OCD and Mikey canon ADHD and it makes so much sense in the show.

I really like all their voices. I miss Leo's first voice he was so dorky and sweet. The new voice is all sad and serious. Raph sounds perfect. I like Donnie's voice but instead of him always yelling why not have him do the low angry science rant because that's a good time. I like Mikey's voice he sounds like a high pitched beast boy.

But despite the occasionally baffling writing choices of the show I still like it. It's entertaining in the same way as a telenovela or kdrama. They literally have a plot where one of the turtles falls in love with his secret half sister. Something I've seen in telenovelas and kdramas.

2012 tmnt makes a great dogblooded drama.

I think the CGI art can get pretty bad at times but other times it looks great. The music is pretty good and I really like the voice cast. I actually totally see why so many people like this show but I definitely don't think it's the best one. From what I've seen thus far, I think the 2003 TMNT show might actually be a masterpiece. Better than Avatar the Last Airbender levels of masterpiece (not a competition just giving an example of another show I find monumental).

That's it, that's the rant, thanks for reading!

Btw if any one has any good 12 fic recs pls hand them over. I need 12 hurt comfort, or fem Leo, or transfem Leo, or anything introspective, or just anything with a fun plot. Pls I'm dying here send fics.

Thank you :)

#brainrot #teenage mutant ninja turtles #cartoon #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #12 leo #12 raph #12 mikey #12 donnie #rant #thoughts #these are my opinions #I really like tmnt #i can't stop thinking about tmnt #maybe a bit introspection #rambles #headcanons #i love them your honor

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eddiebrockx · 1 year

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⚠️ SPOILERS for Venom issues #164 and #165 (the 2016 to 2018 comics in general), Venom: The First Host, and the Venom comics in general. ⚠️

Incoming mini-essay! (TL;DR - Sleeper is the manifestation of everything I love about Venom as a comic series, Eddie and the Symbiote are top tier parents, and Spider-Woman is fucking awesome.)

Okay so, I know everyone jokes about issues 164 and 165 because “wow omg Eddie Brock is pregnant.” However, I feel like there isn’t a lot of discussion (that I’ve seen) around how Eddie and the Symbiote handled raising Sleeper because it reveals a lot about their growth up until that point.

It’s been previously established that the Symbiote has been through multiple abusive relationships in the past. The only people who have treated it relatively well as a host are Flash Thompson and, obviously, Eddie Brock. However, even in those relationships we see that it struggles with unhealthy tendencies. The most obvious being just hiding things to protect itself, which it has developed mostly as a coping mechanism (although sometimes it's just used as an easy way to create drama instead of as a sign of its trauma; the downside of having so many different people creating different comic arcs). Beyond itself, it has also seen all of it's children--Carnage, Riot, Lasher, Phage, Agony, and Scream--become incredibly violent in the hands of their hosts.

Because of this, it rightfully fears the idea of having any more children and seeing them become either like itself or its siblings. Comic issues #164 and #165 entirely focus on this idea because the Symbiote is going to spawn soon. Of course, usual Venom shenanigans ensue; people try to kidnap Eddie and the Symbiote, they escape, etc. But what's important is two things: 1) the Symbiote's dreams for the baby, and 2) we get to see Spider-Woman kick absolute ass.

In issue #165, we get these panels:

“It's true Eddie. Didn’t want my baby to be another monster. Wanted it to be a hero. A hero like you. Like Venom.”

I feel Eddie had a right to be upset at this point in time--what with not being told that your significant other is literally going to give birth--but he also doesn't at all slack on getting the Symbiote what it needs next. A quick run to Alchemax later, and they are able to (with some complications) deliver the new symbiote. They decide they will raise it separate from a host within the lab, Eddie and the Symbiote carefully watching over it's growth. Their main goal is to prepare it for a host, so hopefully it won't join its siblings.

Also (sort of a side rant) but I really want to emphasize how much I love Spider-Woman in this scenario. She, like a lot of people in Venom comic history, initially tries to attack Venom. However, upon learning that the Symbiote is pregnant, and seeing it's side of things, she promptly leaves them alone. On top of that, she steps in to rescue them, even when it wasn't necessary to do so. I don't know, I just really appreciate seeing her here. She rocks, and this also means she's one of the few characters who actually understands the relationship Eddie and the Symbiote have (and she doesn't want to destroy it).

"It's beautiful, Eddie." "It is."

I really loves this for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I'm weak to good parenting in stories, but I really want to emphasize how important it is that they're trying so hard. Eddie and the Symbiote have both been constantly fighting and internal and external struggle against the idea that they are a monster. Their mistakes have defined both of their lives. After a lot of trial and error--being broken up and reuniting again and again--that they are now taking steps to improve not only their relationship, but their overall lives and the life of their new kid.

And their new kid is absolutely overpowered. Sleeper is probably my favorite character in Venom history by a longshot. Sleeper is calm, cool, and collected, AND they're strong as hell. We get to see all of that and more displayed in Venom: First Host.

For those who haven't read it, the gist of this arc is that the Symbiote's first host--a Kree--is on a mission to find it again, along with a Skrull. Meanwhile, on Earth, Eddie and the Symbiote are trying to raise their baby in peace. They save the Kree from the Skrull, who then asks the Symbiote to return with him. It, of course, declines. And then the Kree goes absolutely nuts and tries to steal their kid so they're forced to make a sacrifice: the Symbiote goes with the Kree.

"If that is your choice...I honor it. You have my envy, Brock. You must be a great man." "No. Not great. But together we make something...more."

Stuff ensues. Eddie has to go on a rescue mission with the Skrull from before to save the Symbiote; and his kid is more than ready to help. Which, is awesome, because Sleeper is OP. They have the ability to camouflage themselves, secrete a pheromone that confuses the senses of those around them, AND can live with a dead host (they lobotomize the Kree guy and use his body to go have adventures after Eddie and the Symbiote reunite. All of this is awesome, but the only part I truly wish to highlight to you is this:

"We wanted better for you." "And I'll have it. This body is strong. There are depths of knowledge and memories in this mind. Worlds. Galaxies. I've been kept in a cage my whole life. There's so much to see out there. And I will see it. I know you did your best, father. But I don't need a cage anymore."

Sleeper has grown up; Sleeper is free. Thanks to Eddie and the Symbiote's efforts, Sleeper is their own individual. It's hard for them to accept their child leaving, but it's alright. Not only because Sleeper returns to them in the next couple of arcs anyways, but because they succeeded. While they had hoped that Sleeper would end up with a good host, they've instead given Sleeper the tools to be free on their own. They don't need to rely on a host's whims to be a hero, to be good.

It's powerful, and I love it. It's so compelling to see these character who have had such a difficult time finding themselves, finding their place in the world, raise such a strong and good individual. Sleeper goes on to be a vital asset in the King in Black arc (which I have words for, but I appreciate Sleeper's role in it) as well as a good big sibling to his human brother.

I can't even fully articulate how much I love this entire arc, just that it's the encapsulation of everything I really love about Venom. We get romance, we get parenthood, we get growth, we get all the good shit. I love it. Anyways, I'll leave you with that. I just wanted to share some of my many (many) thoughts about these comics.

#venom #venom: first host #sleeper symbiote #sleeper #eddie brock #symbrock #comics #marvel comics #venom comics #mini essay #venom (2016-2018)#rant #spider woman #sorry this is so long #im just super passionate about this #jane essay

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thebroccolination · 9 months

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it confuses the hell out of me how Tumblr out of all places harbors most negativity toward BMF. situation it's much better now though, but the early period and before the show aired was nothing but spite an vitriol filling the tags. on the bright side, pretty much every other platform is head over heels for BMF, especially Reddit. they're usually critical af but BMF seems to be universally praised. anyways, I'm beyond excited for the remaining eps, and here's hoping for a strong finale so this show becomes one of the often recommended ones 🙏

On BMF getting more negativity on Tumblr than other places:

I thiiiiink it's because Tumblr has an especially high North American/European user base, and that's where the majority of the Krist hate seems to come from. What people still point to (the IG story, the rape filter joke, the "I don't want to watch Singto specifically kiss other men because this is fanservice on a variety TV show that people are going to quote out of context as me saying I don't like watching men kiss" thing) are either debunked or happened years ago, but when interfans arrived in droves in 2020, they kicked up old news like it was brand new and passed around hearsay like it was fact.

I mean, even I've learned new things since I made my post and thread about Krist back in September. For one, GMM didn't arrange his press conference in 2020 to address the issues. Krist did. Even though he'd already apologized multiple times over the years for things he never repeated, he still wanted to take accountability because of the amount of attention interfans were bringing to it. Part of that press conference was Krist even saying he'd never make excuses for what he's done and that he'll apologize as long as he's asked to.

The first(?) apology Krist made for the IG story was long, long ago, one I can't even find a translation for, that's how long ago it was. But Krist's long-time fans said that someone did translate it, but their English wasn't strong, so interfans picked apart their translation as if Krist's apology was lacking. (It's like how some interfans criticized Win in Between Us for being forceful because the subtitles originally said "kiss me" when what he actually said in Thai was "can I kiss you?" Interfans who don't speak Thai just make assumptions based on translations sometimes and it's part of my villain origin story.) Again, I don't have the apology to hand, but apparently one part of it was Krist saying something like, "I responded without thinking of how it would look. As a Y actor, I don't have those kinds of bigoted thoughts. This is my home, and I'm very proud of and supportive of the community that's raised me and cared for me," and the fan translation apparently paraphrased all of that into something like, "As a BL actor, of course I'm not homophobic." So like. Even when he's apologized, interfans have historically found a way to throw rocks at him anyway, so it gets exhausting to see people casually calling him homophobic because Melanie in Minnesota saw a screenshot of an IG story on Twitter and then made a list of six problematic BL actors you should definitely avoid because they skin babies and punt puppies into volcanoes.

On BMF being great:

I'm so excited for the last three episodes. \:D/

I'm so proud of Krist and Gawin for the work they've done up until now. It's wild to think about the amount of information they had to keep in mind as they were filming. Because, like, series already film out of order, but they also had to keep in mind different timelines of the same characters out of order. The fact that you can see not only Kawi's growth but everyone else's as well so fluidly and consistently over the episodes so far says a great deal about the quality of the production, I think. The directing, the writing, the acting. All of it is really, truly phenomenal.

Aaahhhh why is it only Tuesday. :'(

ANYWAY thank you, Anon! Sorry for the rant about Krist. I'm just tired of seeing him get so much hate for years on end when he's such a loving and giving person who's been a vocal queer ally since SOTUS. Not just during Pride, either. He really has been deeply misconstrued by interfans at large, and I just hope the people who've made up their minds about hating him (and the ones who've made their hate so public they're too stubborn to admit they misread him) will just learn to ignore him and stop tormenting him. He's already suffered panic attacks and depression as a result of the constant abuse, and it's repulsive that anyone thinks that's acceptable to do.

#kiranokira answers #krist perawat #be my favorite

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chaoffee · 3 months

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Orion do you have tips on how to write Venti 🙏 I'd be ever so grateful to learn

[Warning: Profanity ahead...and a really long read] Hii, you're in for a long ramble LOL

So, first things first, I'm probably not the best Venti writer out there. No, not even probably, I'm not. I try to write as closely as possible to canon however I know that's difficult as my own headcanons and perception of Venti will show themselves in my writing. And I genuinely think that there are absolutely better Venti writer's out there to ask.

(you can skip to around "Honestly this is..." to skip a whole lot of my rambling because genuinely instead of giving tips I just rambled. No matter how I try to think of it, you'll end up with the entire ramble no matter what :skull:)

Venti is a complex character, like genuinely a very complex character. People like dumbing him down to this silly little guy that's a drunkard and I get real annoyed when that's all people see him as. Venti is much more than the "carefree persona" he puts on. There's so much depth to his character.

Another thing to take note of, when I write for Venti, I'm usually writing him for comfort as he's a comfort character of mine. Most of my works are more focused on the reader than Venti, but the very few times I've written solely for Venti, I wrote angst with him. And there I honestly just went into the zone so how I write him is beyond me.

If I'd have to give tips on how to write him, it would be to make him more than just some silly little guy that's there for comedic relief. If you think about it Venti is the most mysterious archon we've met so far. He speaks in riddles when he knows he can't give an outright answer because that defeats the whole point of figuring it all out on your own.

He's a mischievous character. From hiding the broken Holy Lyre of der Himmel that he immediately made a break for after saying his little trick won't last forever to forging Morax's signature back when the aristocracy rules Mondstadt in order to help free Mondstadt once more. Another thing people tend to forget in the fandom is that Venti is actually really intelligent, which again isn't recognized under his "he's just a silly little guy" thing the fandom has going on for him.

Okay, I'm getting off track, this is more turning into me ranting about the fandom and being way to passionate about him :skull:

How I try to write him is to show depth to his character. I learn something new about his character every day. Like genuinely. If it wasn't for the venti nation over on twitter who are just as passionate about him as I am, I wouldn't have known half the shit I do now.

I think reading his character story and the Mondstadt lore (like the skyward weapons lore) really helped me find some depth into his character as not only the infamous bard of Mondstadt but also the god of Freedom and Hope. Maybe looking at the actual demon Barbatos would give some ideas on him as well.

Writing him is honestly a hassle, because you need to know when he'd make a riddle or a rhyme off the top of his head and when he'd talk to you like a normal person. Even in his voicelines, as far as I can remember, he doesn't rhyme often. Which made me realize that Kazuha really does talk by spitting out flowers from his mouth because I swear it's easier to write for Venti than for Kazuha who speaks in flowers :sob:

Another thing that helped me understand him a little better is simply looking up his fandom wiki page and seeing how they describe him. The first time I saw what stood there, I was like, "oh...that actually makes sense." (in reference to him hiding a lonely soul specifcally.)

When I do write him, I try to still keep his characteristic traits like being mischievous, carefree, wise, and lonely. Like I can absolutely imagine him stealing some apples from Dawn Winery and to be cheeky, he'd even sit atop the winery eating at the apples. But I keep in mind how he'd sometimes just sit alone and think. Like in his story quest, where at the end he sits on the hands of the Barbatos statue after telling us the story of the nameless bard and how he became the god of freedom. How he grieves for a friend/the friends he had lost. You can't tell me that by the end of his story quest you didn't feel the loneliness that basically oozes off of him.

I try to creep in that old timer feeling too because let's be real, he's a god, he's over thousands of years old, he has experience, ya get me? He'd have that hint of old soul vibes. And also let's not forget webtoon Venti where he was loud and proud about his songs (or rhymes or whatever was exactly said there) being twice as good as that of Barbatos himself (ironic because he literally is Barbatos). Like he is proud of being the best bard in Mondstadt.

ALSO Venti is super observant, like I will die on this fucking hill. He would know when something's up.

A big thing that I want to incorporate into my writing if I write him and it needs this, is that it will always feel like he's hiding something from you. Because it was recently brought to my attention that he doesn't always tell the truth or he talks in such a roundabout way that it diverts your attention to something else.

That and the fact that he is literally trying to hide just how powerful he truly is. He doesn't like drawing attention to himself, especially if it outs his true identity. Fucking "the weakest archon of the Seven" my ass. Like did you know that before people use a glider that they literally need to say a prayer to Barbatos to allow them to glide? I didn't either until a recent read up on a hyperfocus on Mondstadt fashion and someone on reddit said that people offer prayers to Barbatos every time they glide. If his power as an archon is based on how many people believe in him, than fuck bro you're straight up lying if the entirety of Teyvat is literally praying every time they use a glider. Like my dude is literally such a liar just to conceal his tracks and diverts attention away from himself.

Also whether or not that reddit user is correct on the prayer thing, I have no clue. I might be AR 59 but I am so behind on actual quests and shit that I just don't know, so how credible or true that is, I'm not sure. You can only trust any of my words when it comes to the archon quest lore :skull:

Honestly this is just turning into a ramble of a lifetime. I apologize sefhfef Overall, I'm not exactly sure how I write Venti or if I write him correctly. When I write there is (sometimes) no thoughts behind my eyes, just aggressive typing while I listen to music and I just pray that I write him accurately. Venti is such a complex character that it's hard to simply just...give tips because there's so much about his character that I could talk about.

I know for a fact that I try to convey not only his playful demeanor, but also his serious and caring nature. Like please, he isn't always cheerful or playful and he knows when to be serious and take things seriously.

And I try to incorporate that old timer feeling he would absolutely have because he is literally thousands of years old. (Adding this here as well for in case you did skip the whole ramble)

I can ramble about his character for days, probably, and I'd still never get to how I write him.

What I can say is to just listen to his voicelines, read his character story and go off memory of how you perceive him and know of him. Listen to other characters voicelines about him. Get to know him in a sense through those.

If you're unsure of whether you're writing him as accurately as possible (or simply just right), ask a Venti simp/fan to beta read for you. That's what I'm doing with my Eula series, I asked a friend if she could help me write Eula more accurately and she referred me to another friend of hers that loves Eula and that friend agreed to helping me in understanding Eula as not only a character but to also portray her as accurately as possible.

If you have no excessive Venti simps to turn to *tucks hair behind ear* Hit me up and I'll happily help you out by once again rambling about him <3

#orion answers ask #with our starry guest Ansy #(I'm just going to refer you to with that name for now as i am unsure what name you are usually referred to)#(i'll fix it when i'm more certain on what you like being referred to as)#please over thousand words just to never really get to the point #i'm so sorry #i never thought i was *this* passionate about a character until now #you literally unlocked my verbal diarrhea without meaning to #i could talk about venti for days fr fr #i hope this was at least in some way helpful #otherwise genuinely hit me up and i'll ask more specific questions on what exactly you want to know #and talk about those specific things

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