I have no strong opinions about measurements & I’ll keep my freedom temperature opinions to myself (0 is Dying Cold 100 is Dying Hot it’s intuitive!) but your tags about D&D are so true 5 ft is so specific & in a lot of situations it makes no sense (Especially when you consider it started out as wargame with role playing added in). RPG designers just use [Number] Square(s)/Hex(es), I beg of you!
one of my Biggest gripes with d&d measurements comes down to. Size. as in the Size category of creatures and objects. like the Medium size (which refers to the vast majority of humanoids and a whole bunch of regular-sized enemies like wolves and stuff) is said to occupy. essentially a square of space with a 5ft-long side. for the sake of being put on a battle map or whatever. and that... makes sense in a way even though you can obviously. fit more than one person in a square that size or like. a person and a cat or whatever but it's fine it's trying to apply a mathematical rule to a chaotic irl process that doesn't necessarily have much 2d mathematical sense worked into it.
anyway. then you get to the Large size.
any creature of Large size occupies Four Entire 5foot Squares, sides 10 feet long in either direction overall. you can. in a way. justify this for stuff like say. Horses. maybe nobody wants to stand too close to the horse thinking they'll get kicked or whatever. but then we have to consider my Eternal bugbear, Graz'zt.
Graz'zt is a demon lord (the Best one, imo, certainly the best of the big three fitey bois fiteing for the #1 spot) and so his Size category is Large. but his entire schtick is that he's a sexboi and he's basically just a humanoid guy who's pretty tall (9 feet, or a little bit less than 3m). because you know. you need to be able get it in you, if you know what i'm saying, so he can't be so big as to make that a pain for himself. he can Certainly fit within a square where one of the sides is 5 feet long. and yet to slap him on a battle map (as we had to playing fucking Out of the Abyss, god damn that module) he has a Large token and is supposed to take up a square with 10 feet sides.
he could lie down on the ground and not reach all the way along One of those sides, which a lot of human people cannot do in their Medium 5 foot square. so like. he's just standing in the middle of a vast empty 10 foot square cos no one can approach beyond a certain distance because of his Musk or something i guess. the Large token size is excessive even for a horse but it's Ridiculous for a Slightly Tall Man.
although my DM actually brought him down to Medium after we all ranted about this a bit lmfao
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I don’t know how much can be said that hasn’t already been said, but i cannot express how utterly devastated I am about Technoblade’s passing.
So I’ll just put it the best I can, being someone who has dealt with cancer a lot this year, with someone I was close to passing away from it and with my Grandpa fighting it off currently.
I won’t stop making content. He loved what his community made, and in rough times like these we all need a pick me up. He wouldn’t want us to stop because it could be perceived as disrespectful. He’d want us to help each other out and support each other, like we always have. And to those of us (myself included) who’s pick me up was Technoblade, we’ll keep making content of him to honor him. He will never die as long as we are here to keep him alive in memories, fanart, cosplays, fanfiction, songs, and all else.
Technoblade never dies, in the most literal of senses. What he did for so, so, so many people will never be forgotten, and his legacy will last forever.
In the most Technoblade way I can put it, I hope he respawned somewhere that deserves a great man like him, somewhere where he’s happy beyond belief and can see what a positive impact he made on the world. Somewhere where he can fully understand how much we love him.
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so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*
a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!
nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.
nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.
nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.
nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?
nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.
nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (
nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.
choso: yeah i can do wednesday.
choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.
nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?
nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.
nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.
"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."
uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.
"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.
nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.
nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.
nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.
nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.
nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)
nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.
"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."
oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.
you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.
"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?"
"no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way"
"i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.
fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.
he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.
nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)
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Virgin Simon eats you out religiously
Argue with the wall
Simon who’s literally a fucking loser in bed cuz you’re practically his first girlfriend
He’s on the edge of the bed panties on his left hand
Taking your scent in, slowly flicking his tongue on your oh so sensitive nub
Slowly and slowly increasing his pace, flicking it more while he uses his right hand to penetrate your gummy walls
The come hither motion making you close , so close to seeing stars in the middle of an online lecture
Simon licking and lapping your clit teasing you dangerously so you don’t cum
No not yet
Not until you’re begging for it like your life depends on it
How he lives for the moment when you become a withering babbling mess beggin for him to let you cum
To let you cum because you’re such a good girl
There are times when he folds like when he sees the corner of your eyes prickling up with tears,
Him lifting his head up to kiss them off like the good boyfriend he is
The stimulation getting the best of you as your walls clench on his fingers
Your eyes rolling while your body stiffens while your legs come closer to each other.
Oh lord
What a beautiful mess he made
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love (to hate) u | ln4 smau
PAIRING: lando norris x fem!reader
A/N: hey! love this idea sm!! hope it's as u imagined :)
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yourusername
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yourusername me and my bestie 🥰❤️ (fyi max this is OUR cat now)
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username so what i'm seeing is if i punch lando we'll be besties??
username I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE (sry lan)
username bye💀💀
landonorris What a loser...
landonorris A cat is your best friend now?🤣
yourusername wdym everybody knows it's cats>everyone else>lando 🤭
username damn😭
username take a shot everytime lando and y/n make digs at each other, i dare you
username lol no thanks i choose life
username AHH BOTH OF YOU ARE CUTE AF LYYY <333
maxfewtrell You mean my cat?
yourusername **OUR cat 🔫🙂
landonorris posted to his story!
[ caption: Best night with the gang ❤️ ]
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f1gossipofficial Y/N L/N was spotted today by fans attending the Australia Grand Prix alongside Oscar Piastri. Despite her and Lando Norris famously not getting along, it comes as quite a surprise to see her accompanying his teammate, especially considering their shared friend circles.
Who knows, maybe there's a relationship announcement on the horizon?👀
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username Y/N 100% KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING LOOL
username she's so 😭 still gonna stan tho !!
username bruh they're literally friends
username oscar and y/n??? i would like to see it pls🙂↕️
username imagine having ur number 1 opp not only in the paddock but also in ur fucking garage like💀
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username BREAKING MY SILENCE ‼️ they have the opportunity to pull the biggest enemies to lovers in todays day and age if they rlly wanted to👀
username lord there y'all go again...
username i want whatever the hell u're fucking smoking cause what😀
username wait did he break up with lily???
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: why would a man be there?? 🤨]
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yourusername alright fun's over, congrats bby xxx (happy now oscar?)
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oscarpiastri As you can all see, we are NOT dating
yourusername oscar i'm sry😭😭
oscarpiastri 😑
username aw man...😞
username Y'ALL ARE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL
landonorris Us 🤝 the drama
yourusername 🤭🩷
username match made in fucking hell😭 you guys are SICK
username WAIT WHAT? lemme move my bang and read this shit again cause wtf
username oh! 😀
username s(he) be(lie)ve(d)😓
username theyre both liars smh
username I TRUSTED YOU😭💔
username this whole time ppl were clowning me and i was right all along?🧍♀️IVE BEEN SAYING THERE'S SEXUAL TENSION OMFG
username on behalf of literally everyone i'd like to apologise babe. shoulda never doubted you x
username lando and y/n need to apologise to u cause they played us all🤡
username you guys are fake as shit, but ig you're cute or whatever🙄
0:09 ㅇ──────────── 3:17
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