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seokgyuu · 11 months

Note

Hello mitch!

I'm one of you silent readers, but today I wanted to request something can we please get a seokmin angst like angsty angst? feeling a bit emo right now lol.

I would love to see your writing that genre more prominently.

It's upto you if you want to make a happy ending or.... End our lives.

I really just want to see some angst *evil laughter*

I hope you accept my request, thank you! 🩷

All my love,

Max ❤

hi max! finally got to your request!! thank you so much for sending this in, i love writing angst and i hope this is to your liking! <;3

PAIRING: Seokmin x Reader

GENRE: Lovers to Strangers, angst, blink and you might see a bit of past fluff

SYNOPSIS: You always thought Seokmin was your forever.

WARNINGS: very angsty, like very, no happy ending, no pronouns used for reader, but there is mention of them wearing a dress

WORDCOUNT: 1.2k

A/N: if you want to feel what i felt reading this play Lewis Capaldi's Wish you the best in the background. Works wonders for the tears.

Falling in love with Lee Seokmin had been the easiest thing you had ever done. It came so naturally to you as if it had always been meant for you to someday find him and love him. He was your sun, your moon, your best friend. The second you two met, you knew he was the one.

And luckily enough he felt the same way about you. He loved every single thing about you; the way you eyes sparkled when you laughed, the way you sometimes talked in your sleep, how you looked when you concentrated on your newest art project. To him, loving you came just as easily.

Your earlier friendship turned into more and eventually you moved in together, everything falling into place perfectly. Weekly visits with your parents, grabbing dinner in the rain and running home without an umbrella, dancing in front of the fridge like a silly Taylor Swift song.

He was your person. He was your forever.

Your favorite memory of him and you was when he told you he loved you the first time. It was at the ocean, after he had been upset at his mum, just taking you by the hand and dragging you into the car, the tears so close to falling. He didn’t talk much and neither did you. Instead you held his hand, caressed his skin. He drove as long as he needed until you finally reached the sea and together you ran into the cold water, Seokmin finally breaking into tears, your arms around his neck and his forehead pressed against your shoulder. You held him up, in reality as well as metaphorically.

When you sat in the sand after, both of you freezing because of course there weren’t any towels in the car, he stared at the sky, his fingers intertwined with yours.

And then he had turned to you and he had kissed you, had thanked you for being there. You had told him that, of course you were, you would always be there. The smile he had given you had made your heart melt. He said it then, said that he loved you and you couldn’t help but cry because this man was yours and you were his and he was your forever.

Your least favorite memory of him and you was when you came home after a long day of work at the gallery and you found him sitting at the kitchen island with a glass of whiskey in front of him.

Your least favorite memory of him was when he told you he wanted to leave.

Your least favorite memory was the suitcase that was already packed.

You know that going to Seungkwan’s wedding is a mistake, but you still do it. You stand in front of the hotel with the gift in your hand and your insides tell you to turn around and leave.

He will be here. He probably already is inside there. You haven’t seen him in almost a year, not since you two talked it out. Decided to be friends. You never talked to him after that. And he never reached out either.

Somehow your feet begin carrying you inside, your heart that is poorly glued together hurts in your chest. You see the sign leading to the wedding and you see a few familiar faces. You smile at some of them and try to ignore the growing shame inside of you when you see their pitiful faces. They all know that he left you. That you loved him more than he loved you.

The wedding hall is decorated nicely and you put your present on the designated table, letting your eyes wander around afterward. Even though you don’t want to, you find yourself looking for him. How would he look? Would he wear that suit he always wore to weddings? Or had he gotten a new one? Your fingers play with the long sleeves of your dress as you begin to walk. You reach the free bar and grab a glass of champagne, bringing it to your lips to take a sip. Just then, when the sweet liquid runs down your throat, you spot him.

He is wearing the same suit. Your eyes go blurry.

When he spots you it’s like the world stops. 10 months, 3 weeks and 4 days since you’ve last seen him. And now he walks over to you, seems almost breathless when he reaches you. You feel his hand around your wrist as he smiles.

“You’re here,” he says and you nod, your eyes drawn to him and only him. The mole on his face, his dark brown hair styled up, his warm gaze so full of something you never thought you would see again. But here it is, here he is. The man you love so much, who not even once has left your heart.

“Y/N…,” Seokmin lifts his other hand, hesitating before he places it on your cheek. His touch feels so familiar, makes you shiver, makes tears well up. Oh, how much you had missed his touch. Missed him. All of him. Always.

“Seokmin, I-,” but he stops you, pulling you into his chest, the glass of champagne falling to the floor.

“I missed you, I am so sorry, I love you, please forgive me,” he whispers into your hair and you feel his tears hit you, mix with yours. You let your arms rest on his back.

“You know I always will. I’ll always forgive you, Seokmin.”

Your eyes focus again. It’s the same suit as back then. He has his one hand around a champagne glass, the other rests on the lower back of the girl you know he’s been dating. No one has directly told you. But you knew he had someone new when he had asked to meet up 10 months, 3 weeks and 4 days ago.

You watch how he laughs at something she says and presses a kiss to her cheek. You watch how the love of your life is nothing to you anymore but a distant memory of a time where you thought you were the luckiest person in the world. The poorly glued together heart is slowly falling apart again, you feel how pieces of it fall onto the floor in front of you. You hear how it breaks.

The champagne glass shatters. But not because Seokmin hugs you and asks for your forgiveness. It shatters because he never will.

Now, he notices you. Everyone does. The sound of glass breaking isn’t quiet after all, not even in a setting like this. A waiter appears and begins picking up the pieces of your heart. You don’t even notice it, too focused on Seokmin who seems more than surprised to see you. The mole, the hair, the eyes. It’s all the same. He doesn’t move, instead he says something to the girl he is still holding close.

Part of you wants to wish him the best and maybe part of you does. But right now you want to scream at him. How he should have never left you, how he broke your heart with no care at all. You want to slap him, tell him all the things you never did. Was it your fault? Him leaving you that night? You didn’t fight, you didn’t stop him. You just let him leave.

Nothing matters anymore. Blaming yourself will get you nowhere. You finally avert your eyes and thank the waiter, accepting the new glass he now hands you. The party goes back to before.

You know you never will.

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unabashegirl · 11 months

Text

Different 1 (HS)

Summary: Harry is just like any other college student. He is a senior in Chicago University. He keeps to himself except when he is spending time with his closest friends, Sarah and Mitch. His world revolves around his future career, friends, and family. His quiet and routine driven life takes a turn, one weekend when he meets Y/N Y/L/N. She is way too different from him. She spends most of her days surrounded by people who care for superficial and materialistic things. Her parents are never home, and they think that with money everything can be solved. They are both from different worlds yet something that night clicks and Y/N can never again get him off her mind.

Author's note: I've decided to post the first chapter of Different. It is a story that is EXCLUSIVE for my Patreon subscribers. There are already NINE chapters posted.

Word count: 2.5K

DISCLAIMER: the following story is only available and exclusively posted on Patreon.

“So, are you coming?” Mitch asked him as they sat in the dining hall of the university and attempted to eat what they had chosen as their meal. Harry had ordered a warm tortilla soup and a side salad with some lemonade. He was a messy eater, and so he was careful not to spill any soup on his white sweater or worst yet, stain his sleeves.

“To Y/N’s party?” He asked unbothered and disinterested in the idea of partying at some rich girl’s house. “Are you even invited?” Harry had no intention of getting in trouble, especially for such a superficial thing as attending a party of an almost stranger.

“Obviously not” Harry rolled his eyes at him as he looked through the notes of his upcoming biochemistry class. “Emma was and I am sure if we ask her, she’ll help us get in.”

“We are barely friends with her!” He argued getting annoyed by his persistence. “Why are you so interested in going?” Harry challenged wanting to know the true reason. “We rarely see her. She is on another major and most importantly you don’t know her!”

“Isn’t she studying psychology or something ?” Sarah asked as she continued eating the grapes that she had carefully packed that morning. Mitch only nodded and took a sip out of his vitamin water.

“So what? I want to get to know her. It’s senior year, H. Let’s finally do something fun” Harry snorted but eventually gave in. Mitch had always craved to be popular and well-known around campus. Although he barely could count his friends on one hand. He blamed it on not having enough time to manage everything. Yet he barely turned in assignments. On the other hand, Harry was an introvert. He hated the uncomfortable silences that surged in conversations with strangers. Therefore, he avoided talking and making conversation altogether.

But either way no matter how annoyed Harry got with Mitch, they were still best friends.

That weekend they found themselves crammed into a small vehicle heading up north, where Y/N’s family house was situated. In a small town named Lake Forest. The town was known for its enormous and pricey houses. As soon as they pulled up into her street Harry already regretted leaving the dorms.

Mitch decided to park the car a few blocks away from the house due to the high congestion of cars. Emma was already waiting for them at the front of the gate with a drink in her hand.

“It’s about time you showed up! I am freezing my ass!” She complained evidently cold from the already low temperatures at the North Shore in early August. Y/N’s house was right on the coast of the Michigan River making the breeze even colder. “Come on already!” She stumped her food on the ground just like a little kid would do when throwing a tantrum. Regardless, she reached over and dialed the intercom.

“Hello?” A soft voice greeted them.

“Hey babe is Emma, could you open the door?” Her tone was completely different from the one that she was using a few minutes ago with them. She was cheerful and happy and kind.

“Oh hey! Yeah sure! Let me buzz you in!” Then within a matter of seconds, the front doors of the house opened up to them revealing a long driveway towards the house. The sides of the driveway were decorated with trees and bushes. Emma lead the way as the rest of them looked around awestruck.

“Who needs such a long driveway anyway?” Sarah questioned clearly annoyed by the attention that they were all giving Y/N without even having to meet her.

“Please don’t be weird” Emma pleaded with them when we came to the end of the road and across her huge house. “She is really nice. So, no need to be assholes” They all nodded before Sarah opened the door.

It wasn’t like Harry expected it to be like. He had assumed that the party would be filled with snobby super-rich kids complaining about their lives but to his surprise, there were people from all over, including people from their major.

There was also space to walk, talk and even sit without having to push or shove people around. Harry knew it was one of the perks of having a big ass house.

“Emma! Hey!” A girl smiled at her and began approaching them. She leaned in and hugged her tightly. “I am so glad you made it!”

“Hey! You look great!” Emma smiled widely at her “How’ve you been?”

“Good! How about yourself?” Emma goes on to explain her boy's problems and the issues about the current gossip going around involving her. All while the rest stood back and tried their best to follow. “Oh! These are my friends Harry, Sarah, and Mitch” She introduced them after a few minutes. I looked up and smiled at her still not sure what to make of her. “This is Y/N guys”

Y/N Y/L/N was pretty known around campus. She was an extrovert. She had at least one friend in every class. Y/N would befriend anyone who seemed lonely. She had this resting bitch face which people misinterpreted.

Harry’s eyes scanned her body and face wanting to confirm everything that Mitch had told him. He spoke about her none stop and even stalked her social media and followers.

She had this gorgeous, thick hair that ran down her back and stopped a few inches above her butt. She had doe-eyes that could move crowds. Y/N wore some type of black shirt, with blue jeans and an oversized cardigan. Her hair was pushed back, and she wore a shiny necklace that stole everyone’s attention. It had been a gift from her grandfather. It held a special place in her heart. She has never taken it off ever since it was gifted to her.

“Hi, guys, nice to meet you” Her voice was even appealing — Harry thought. She shook all of their hands, and she shook Harry’s hand last.

Y/N had never before interacted with him. She had seen him around campus with Emma yet she had never had a conversation with him. Let alone notice his natural beauty. She instantly found him attractive. He wore a simple black hoodie, beige jeans, and vans. His hair was stunning and his face structure reminded her of the carved statues in the museum.

Harry licked his lips and looked away. He felt intimidated by her glaze. His mouth was suddenly too dry and he needed a drink.

“Please help yourself in the kitchen and enjoy yourselves. Let me know if you need anything else” Y/N insisted just before she disappeared in the wave of people.

“What the fuck was that?” Mitch gasped for air, seconds after she left. “Did you see that ass?” Harry chuckled and shook his head at him. “Isn’t she stunning?”

“Yes, Mitch” Harry muttered. Mitch dragged him towards the kitchen in search of some drinks and snacks. “And you wonder why you are still single”. Harry said to him.

Mitch chuckled and continued to pour vodka into three red cups.

“That kind of girl only dates guys with trust funds,” Sarah remarked reaching out for a cup. “And you two don’t qualify”.

“Somebody’s cranky” Mitch poked her on her side. It was clear that Sarah wasn’t too happy. She knew it was silly, yet she couldn’t explain the feeling that bubbled within her. She was pretty but her confidence made her uncomfortable.

“Somebody needs to shut the fuck up” She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Now what?” Harry walked behind them as she exited the kitchen.

“Now we look around the house and try to guess how much everything is worth” Mitch winked, there were two huge glass doors that gave out to the backyard. They were open, expanding the length of the living room. People stood out around a small fire pit. Green grass extended and covered all of the property, ending by the wooden dock over the lake. “She has a fucking boat. Unbelievable” Mitch gasped under his breath.

“It’s my father’s” Her voice startled them as she walked up to them from behind. She barely used it anymore because the weather was starting to get cooler “It’s useful during the summer” Y/N would use it as a car and would drive to her other friends’ docks. “What’s your major?” she finally asked.

“Biology” Harry responded, “Mitch’s is engineering, and Sarah is in economics”.

Y/N leaned against the back of the couch, looking for some support for her back. She had been spending too much time hunched over the books in the library.

“That explains why I rarely see you on campus” Harry was studying biology with the intention of entering medical school. He had even already presented all the standardized exams to enter. He was just waiting for the results. Meanwhile, Mitch was staying in Chicago and Sarah was looking at job opportunities on the east coast.

“Y/N” a guy roughly around their age, walked up to them. His name was Brian and was pretty known around campus. His friends and he studied economics with Sarah. She tried her best to ignore him most days. She sat in front of him and detested the way he talked with superiority to others. Brian wrapped his arms around Y/N as he owned her. Like she was his and the world needed to know.

The gesture generated a small spark of jealousy within Harry.

“Hey. I am glad you made it” She slowly and gently tore off him. Y/N felt uncomfortable and so she took a step backward, trying to gain some distance between them.

“I bought more drinks. The boys are taking them into the kitchen”. Sarah rolled her eyes at the mention of the ‘boys’. She felt like she was back in high school when the popular kids were in this one group that was untouchable and desired by many. “Sorry and who are you?”

“These are my friends” Y/N warmly smiled.

“Right,” he nodded as he stared down at them. “Sarah! I didn’t know you came to these types of things”. She faked smiled back yet held back from insulting him. Brian would really get on her nerves.

“Go get yourself a drink” Y/N suggested, embarrassed of him.

Harry paid no attention to him. He was too invested in holding stares with Y/N.

“Will I get to speak to you later?” Brian looked down at her with a hard state, “Alone” he added. Y/N nodded slightly earning a soft stroke on the side of her face before he left them.

“Sorry about that. Brian plays hockey and his father is the owner of this amusement park corporation, and he thinks he is the big shit” They laughed but Harry could tell that she was still bothered by his attitude.

The party picked up after a few hours. Everyone was spilling drinks and the floor had gotten to that point where it was sticky, but people were having fun. Harry sat on the kitchen floor because all of the couches were occupied by horny couples. He was tired from all the dancing that Sarah and Emma had forced him into.

“Tired?”

“A- a bit” he stuttered surprised to see Y/N sitting beside him. “Y-you?”

“Very much” She admitted. She lived in an apartment in the city that her parents had bought for her during her freshman year. It was a small studio apartment. It was her haven which is why she never threw parties there. That and the fact that it was too small. Therefore, she had driven just like everyone else.

“Aren’t you worried they are trashing the place?” He was curious as to why she wasn’t kicking everyone out of the house, and she was so relaxed.

“They are having fun” Y/N watched Sarah and Mitch holding each other’s hand and spinning around in her living room and hysterically laughing at one another. “That’s what matters. Plus, it’s my parent's house” she shrugged.

“Aren’t they going to kill you?” Y/N’s parents were a touchy subject for her. She isn’t tensed up and quieted down. Harry instantly noticed that his comment had made her uncomfortable.

“They don’t really care” The psychology student confessed. She was surprised by herself. Y/N never spoke about them. She had a difficult relationship with them.

“I- I understand the feeling” He smiled at her weakly. And so, they allowed the comfortable silence to engulf them.

A few hours later, Mitch was drunk and so was Emma. Most people had already left. It was mostly them and three other friends of Y/N’s.

“I guess we should get going” Harry rose to his feet, pulling Mitch up too.

“Would you like some help?” She asked as she pulled Mitch’s other arm over her shoulder. They quietly dragged him out of the house and sat him on the steps leading up to the main entrance.

“Why don’t you go get the car and I’ll buzz you in, so you don’t have to drag him all the way down the street” She suggested. Harry remained quiet and ran out for the car. Meanwhile, Y/N woke up Sarah who had passed out on the couch in the living room.

Harry pulled up and unlocked the car doors so moving/ carrying Mitch was easier. Sarah got in the car by herself. Meanwhile, Harry and Y/N helped Mitch sit upright on the seat.

“You are so beautiful” Mitch slurred to her as she leaned over him to bucked him in. “Date me” he divulges. Y/N laughed at his drunken state.

“Next time big boy” She kissed his cheek and winked. Mitch threw his head back and passed out with a big smile.

“Oh! forgot about Emma!” Harry exclaimed, he felt Y/N’s hand on his forearm which instantly stopped any movement.

“She can stay here. Let her sleep. My parents aren’t home so the company would be nice” She pointed out. “I’ll drive her tomorrow”.

“O-okay” Harry stuttered then cleared his throat “Thank you for having us” Y/N leaned in and hugged him gently.

“Thank you for coming” She muttered before she pulled away. “I had lots of fun! Drive safe”

Harry smiled at her before getting into the car. He watched her through the rearview mirror as she waved. He found himself perplexed by her kindness, her beauty, her eyes, and her simplicity. It was too bad that they belonged to different worlds — he pondered.

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h43rtsf0r4str0 · 1 year

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— astro! he/him, mexican / native, gay & trans.

— fandoms! COD, TWDG, TWD, THE OUTSIDERS, OBEY ME!, SCREAM, STRANGER THINGS, AVATAR, RESIDENT EVIL, THE BLACK PHONE.

— who i write for!

CALL OF DUTY: MW2: 141, los vaqueros + könig.

TWDG: luke, nick — javier, gabe, david garcia — marlon, louis, mitch, assim.

TWD: rick grimes, daryl dixon, glenn rhee.

THE OUTSIDERS: darry, sodapop & ponyboy curtis — johnny cade, dallas winston, steve randle, two-bit mathews.

OBEY ME!: lucifer, mammon, leviathan, asmodeus, satan, Beelzebub, belphegor — simeon, solomon, diavolo, barbatos — raphael, mephistopheles.

SCREAM: billy loomis, stu macher.

STRANGER THINGS: billy hargrove, steve harrington, eddie munson, jason carver, johnathan wheeler, argyle.

AVATAR: jake sully, neyatam, lo'ak, aonung.

RESIDENT EVIL: leon s. kennedy, carlos oliveira, Luis sera.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN FOR ALL FANDOMS!

what do i write?

I write for male! and GN! readers, along with poc! readers. there really isn't enough out there.

I will only write for male characters, if i do ever write for a female character(s) it will be strictly platonic.

I write fluff, angst (with/without comfort), smut, headcannons, blurbs, and pretty much any idea that seems good enough to write for!

I will NOT write!

— fem! reader, extreme kinks, severe age gaps, anything illegal, weird stuff.

DNI?

— racism, pedophelia, homo/transphobia, basic dni stuff.

— this blog is welcome to anyone! minors, lgbtqia+, poc, ect! I may write NSFW stuff, but if you are mature enough to be reading stuff like this, i assume you are mature enough to know what you can and cannot handle. If you read nsfw works, that is on you.

fem! readers can read my gn! stuff as well! though, please do not interact with my m! reader stuff.

please know that we are a family here, not enemies. i love anyone and everyone, you are safe here! i will not tolerate any negativity on this blog. want to talk, or send a request? don't hesitate!

thats it for now! much love. — astro.

#twd x male reader #obey me! x male reader #twdg x male reader #scream x male reader #the outsiders x male reader #avatar x male reader #stranger things x male reader #IT x male reader #resident evil x male reader #the black phone x male reader #fanfiction #x male reader #x gn reader #— : hearts4astro!

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littlesugarwords · 9 months

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Hello! So sorry for sending in another but could I please request a Ericson group x reader where reader had an ex bf or gf arrive at the school, their ex tried to get close to them again ad how the ericson gang reacts to that?! Thank you! <3

OOOOO BOY let’s do this omg omg omg I love these types of requests. I legit get little butterflies being able to write them they’re so FUN

Marlon: Marlon instantly didn’t like the stranger. Not only were they an ex, which already made Marlon hesitant to allow them inside, but they weren’t pulling their weight. They seemed too hard to be stuck to the hip of Y/N. But the second Marlon actually witnessed something? Marlon cracked his knuckles, spotting the scene of the ex looming over Y/N, and started over. He could see they were trying to convince Y/N of something, as if pleading with them. As Y/N started away, their ex snagged their arm, stopping them. Marlon picked up his speed, grabbed the back of their shirt, and ripped them back. “I suggest you never do that to them again.” Just as the ex started to protest, Marlon glared, sliding Y/N behind him. “Since we’re the ones housing and feeding you, I suggest you check the shitty attitude.” Scoffing, blood boiling, he turned, bringing Y/N away from the scene. “Thank you,” they whispered faintly. Marlon only nodded, too lost in rage to think straight.

Louis: Louis furrowed his brow seeing a commotion occurring near the front gates. Y/N was working the graveyard shift, keeping watch for any signs of life outside of the gate. That meant that their ex - a new recruit at Ericson - knew exactly where they’d be. “Stop it,” Y/N hissed. It came across like a scold, but was spat through a whisper. His gut churned. Something was wrong. He started down the front steps, making his way right to the gate. He could see the ex reach out for Y/N, Y/N swatting their hand out of the way, and their ex gripping their arm and tugging them closer to their face. “Hey,” Louis scolded. Loud enough to grab their attention, but not loud enough to stir up anything from outside the gate. Louis clamped down on the arm gripping Y/N. The moment the ex looked go, Louis tossed it to the side and stepped between them. “Don’t touch them like that.” “Dude, you don’t get--” “I don’t need to get anything.” Y/N seldom saw Louis mad. Cautiously, they placed a gentle hand on his back. “Don’t bother following us.” Louis turned, wrapping his arm around Y/N and escorting them inside. “Stay with me in the library for a while to be sure he’s done, okay?” Y/N nodded, beyond thankful for his tenderness.

Violet: Violet furrowed her brow at the sight before her. She had already been sceptical of Y/N’s ex from the first moment she saw them, but now? Now she was positive there was something off with them. She tossed herself to her feet, wandering closer to where the two were having a passionate debate, with Y/N’s hands waving in passion. “Can’t you just--” Their ex began, hands knotted in their aggravated hair. “Shut the fuck up and listen once in a while?” Yep. That was all that Violet needed to hear. “Hey!” If there was one thing that Violet knew how to do, it was to get someone’s urgent attention. The moment Y/N turned around, Violet was right up in their face. “Gonna walk that statement back?” Their ex raised a brow, as if confused by the request. “Look, asshole.” She began, getting even closer. “If you’re going to stay within our gates, you follow our rules. And rule number one is that you don’t talk to Y/N.” Their ex scoffed at first but Violet crossed her arms. “Not even in that way. Don’t talk to them. Ever. At all.” Their ex could see Violet was dead serious. Shoving the ex by their shoulder, Violet reached forward and took Y/N’s hand, tugging them away. “Come on, leave this jerk to themselves.” Out of earshot, Y/N squeezed her hand and sighed. “Thank you.” “Please,” Violet scoffed. “I was waiting for a reason to kick their ass.” The two chuckled.

Mitch: Mitch didn’t take kindly to bullshit, and he could smell it a mile-away. He had to be good at it in this world, especially when he was attempting to raise someone like Willy. So, spotting Y/N and their ex wandering around behind the school automatically triggered alarm bells. So, without much thought, he followed. By the time he rounded the corner, witnessing Y/N’s ex all up in their face, Mitch scoffed. “Okay asshole, calm down.” Mitch drew closer, wedding himself with casual ease between the two of them. He jetted his shoulder toward the ewx’s chest, showcasing how little he cared for them. “I will happily kick you out of here if you keep treating them like that.” Y/N’s ex went to open their mouth, but Mitch scoffed their chest, sending them back a few steps. “It’s not up for debate.” He said, suddenly growing more serious. Without breaking eye contact with the ex, he wrapped an arm around Y/N and pulled them closer. “I don’t want to see you talking to Y/N like that again.” Without another word, he guided them away. “You okay?” he asked under his breath, ensuring the ex couldn’t hear. Y/N only nodded, amazed at how swiftly and easily he had taken control of the situation.

Aasim: Aasim hated confrontation, and in this world it was hard to miss, but within the walls of Ericson? He desperately attempted to avoid it. They were all confined, and one wrong fight could start a civil war. Or, so he thought. “I can do this by myself.” He could year Y/N scoff. He was sitting in the library, attempting to read, when he could hear bickering coming from the kitchen area. “Let me help.” “No. Just leave me alone.” Slowly, Aasim stood. His chest tightened as he drew closer. He could tell that it was Y/N’s ex, a new addition to their group, who had already been making Aasim second guess the decision to let them in. “Why don’t you ever want me around?” “Guess.” Y/N spat back. Finally, Aasim rounded the corner and stood in the doorway, questioningly staring at the two of them. “What’s going on?” Aasim asked. He could see Y/N’s ex looming over them as they were attempting to take inventory. Aasim furrowed his brows. “I don’t even need to know.” As confidently as he could muster, he started forward, gently took Y/N’s hand and guided them away, not wanting to tug at them. “Come on, we can do inventory tomorrow.” He said softly, tossing a look over his shoulder before escorting Y/N to the library. Y/N’s grip remained firm on Aasim’s hand, as if not wanting to ever let go. Aasim didn’t mind.

Ruby: Ruby could hear a commotion coming from behind her. She had been helping Omar cook dinner on the fire when she turned, spotting Y/N scolding one another from the other side of the courtyard. “That doesn’t look good,” Omar said softly. Ruby didn’t think twice and started over. “Hey,” Ruby started softly, silencing Y/N’s ex in the middle of their tirade. “Everything okay?” She raised a brow, specifically sceptical of the ex - their newest addition - who hadn’t yet earned Ruby’s trust. “Yes,” the ex answered quickly. “No.” Y/N forced. “I’m not getting back together with you.” Ruby’s eyes widened realising what their row was about. “And you're fighting Y/N on this?” Y/N’s ex turned to Ruby, eyes filled with rage, but Ruby didn’t back down. Her mama bear instincts always kicked in when needed. “They gave you their answer.” She scoffed, getting closer. Clearly, the ex hadn’t been expecting her lack of fear. “I suggest you listen. Otherwise, we’ll be happy to toss you back out there again.” Ruby grabbred Y/N’s hand, guiding them away. “Come, you can help me with dinner.” She said softly. Y/N squeezed Ruby’s hand, sweetly wrapping her arms around Ruby’s. “Thank you so much for coming.” Ruby shook her head, her mind racing with rage. “Anytime, hun.” Was all she could say.

Omar: Omar frowned when he noticed Y/N and their ex emerging from the school together. As far as Omar had remembered, Y/N had specifically told them to not approach. To stay ‘As far as possible.’ Omar watched as Y/N started toward the greenhouse, their ex trotting after them, saying words Omar couldn’t make out. He decided to follow. By the time he got within ear shot, he could feel his stomach turn. “You never want to hear me out.” “Because I don’t want to talk to you and I’ve told you that.” Omar finally emerged, having heard enough. “Hey,” he started softly, waiting until the ex’s attention was on him. “You heard them. Ease off.” The ex scoffed, stuffing their hands into their pockets passively. “Come on, dude.” “They said they want to be left alone.” Omar said, drawing closer. “So listen. We chose to let you stay. Don’t make us change our minds.” His voice was quiet and calm, but stern. It was strict in Omar’s own unique way. He held a hand out to Y/N who eagerly took it, allowing Omar to lead them away. They shakily sighed and Omar wrapped an arm around their shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “You’re okay,” he assured softly. “We’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Brody: Brody jumped hearing commotion from the other end of the courtyard. She was on watch duty at the front gate, and turned hearing what seemed like bickering. Turning, she spotted Y/N and their ex, standing on the Ericson front steps, arms flailing as they argued. Since it was getting later, and since the night-shift had only just begun, it was quiet outside. She could hear relatively well what they were talking about. “You shouldn’t have come here.” “Then why did you let me in?” “You were going to die out there.” “If you hate me so much, why does that matter?” “Ugh! You’re infuriating.” “Hey,” Brody finally called, snagging both of their attention. “Y/N, I need your help with something.” She fumbled over what a good lie could be. Finally, she gestured to the bow in her hands. “One of my arrows is jammed.” It was the best thing she could think of. Shooting their ex one last dirty look, Y/N started over. Attempting to seem genuine, Brody offered her bow to Y/N. “It’s fine, I just wanted to get you out of there.” Y/N smiled, accepting the bow and pretending to fiddle with it. “Let me know when they leave.” Y/N was beyond thankful for the stealthy approach Brody chose to take.

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 💌☕️♡

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mkaroy · 1 year

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headcanons of the spelling bee kids & adults for funzies ( most of which were influenced by fellow cast members )

Olive:

-she doesn’t like the idea of labelling herself but not straight, she/her

-dating barfee she totally forced her and barfee to have a ship name, it’s ovbarfvsky, chip thinks it’s funny

-dream job is a stay at home mom who runs a radio

-likes reading classical books

-still calls marcy occasionally but has lost contact with most of the other spellers

-her mom never came back, so she started sending her letters to mitch, in which he wrote back

Barfee:

-straight white man…, asexual, he/him

-autism

-started his sea anemone collection when he was 5 and has loved it since

-eventually grew out his ego

-also reads classical books but secretly reads those kids books that are diary style (ex: dear dumb diary)

-he stims a lot by tapping his foot or bouncing his legs, also a nail bitter, not out of anxiety but just out of boredom usually

Marcy:

-aromantic/questioning, she/her

-really into piano and violin but now she uses them to play really hard metal songs for fun

-she’s really into pop culture stuff but she’s also an environmentalist, so she keeps a closet of mostly graphic shirts of shows she likes and jeans

-stranger things fan; nancy is her favourite

-but i’m a cheerleader is one if not her favourite movies, she also finds megan relatable

Logainne:

-lesbian, had a crush on olive during the bee and a bit after that (obviously), she/her trans woman

-adhd & half jewish

-wears suits to any occasion, even in her sleep sometimes

-she’ll watch anything with gay or jewish rep in it and give it a surprisingly harsh rating

-her favourite show is bobs burgers

-stims include pacing, jumping, pulling of twirling hair and fumbling with her fingers

-doesn’t have volume control and often speaks too loudly for most people

-had to get braces on her top row of teeth in her later teen years

Chip:

-bisexual, he/him

-adhd diagnosed early

-a total try hard in school, especially gym

-he stims in ‘discrete’ ways, basically leg bouncing and pacing and his big 2

-kids at his school find him weird, but no one ever talks about it

-had a crush on olive but it went nowhere especially after his, distraction

-secretly a mama’s boy and tries hard to put his heart in his mother’s day gift

-super good at the piano for some reason

-the marigold thing only went on for 3 years before chip started liking a guy in his class instead of her

-great at public speaking and persuasive essays but sucks at talking to one person head on

-has braces AND a pubestache, the braces are colourful

-mom picks out most of his clothes still

-chip is the one that put peanuts in the brownies

Leaf:

-gay, he/they, adhd

-total outdoor kid

-tons of his clothes have pride flags sewn into them but most people don’t notice

-considers the spelling bee kids to be his best friends and sometimes just shows up at their house uninvited

-he likes spending time with logainne mostly because she’s loud and excitable like him

-plays the cat piano in his spare time

-always keeps cat food on him to give to stray cats he finds

-his homeschooling schedule absolutely terrible, sometimes he just walks into the woods for hours and doesn’t come back until dark, and nobody in his house notices

Panch:

-so straight, perhaps even homophobic on top of being misogynistic

-his favourite WAS chip, until the, erection business

-after courting rona and getting a restraining order, he moved onto another realtor, he has a thing for them

-doesn’t know how to iron or wash clothes properly

-went back to, unhealthy coping habits for lack of better words, after rona left

Rona:

-bisexual she/her

-the indigenous farmer she met was a woman obviously

-doing much better for herself after getting rid of panch

-didn’t find out about her sexuality until she met that farmer

-she truly loves kids and hopes to adopt someday

-her original dream job was a hairstylist, but she had no natural knack for the job and was much better at persuasion and public speaking

Mitch:

-TRANS

-acted out and went to jail for beating someone up

-cares about olive the most though he won’t tell

-his least favourite kid is chip but he doesn’t hate any of them

-as the years went on he started giving the losers more than juice boxes, stickers and participation awards were added

-one of those tough guys who has a flock of parrots in his house who he’s suprisingly gentle with

-went through a buzz cut phase, it was not cool.

#25thannualputnamcountyspellingbee #the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee #25apcsb #25th annual putnam county spelling bee #olive ostrovsky #william barfee #marcy park #logainne schwartzandgrubenierre #chip tolentino #leaf coneybear #douglas panch #rona lisa perreti #mitch mahoney

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symbioteburnout · 11 months

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@guardian-rocket

Most would be freaking out right now, a bipedal raccoon just walking on down the street in the middle of broad daylight? Anyone would be having an episode looking at that, maybe calling animal control or an exterminator. Andrea Benton was not most people, the unfortunate girl knew better than that. Her mentor, Flash Thompson had done a brief stint with the Guardians on behalf of the Avengers, he’d told her all the stories. The Himbo captain, the angry amazonian woman (though he could have also been talking about Iqa), Drax, and of course the talking Tree and Raccoon.

In addition to that, Andi met a different Rocket during that Venomverse thing.

So if anything, it might have been more surprising for Rocket that the Terran girl behind the counter of the record store didn’t really make a scene.

Andi’s attention went towards the door, like it always did with the door swung open, followed by the chime of the electronic bell. Not seeing one of Mitch’s regulars, her gaze went downwards to see the space faring Raccoon walking through the door.

“You guys get shipwrecked on Earth again, or are the Guardians taking a vacation?” Andi asked, casually greeting the stranger, there were only so many reasons a Guardian of the Galaxy would be wandering around Philadelphia.

It was either the cheese steaks or they were looking for Flash.

#guardian-rocket #-||[MANIA REBORN!]||-

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joe9cool · 1 year

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Collide-Justin Herbert-35

A/N : This is fanfiction, I do not know the Chargers or affiliate with anyone who knows the Chargers. You also don’t have my permission to post my stories anywhere else. Thank You

Things were going well.

Ever since that day where they left the hospital Sara was more receptive to Justin. She would come downstairs to help make him breakfast, they would talk about his therapy, and then they would go their separate ways. Once he was done with therapy he would run some errands that Sara asked,such as grocery shopping and other things.

Some days he would come up and drop off lunch for her and her family, who would talk to him. If Willa was there she would glare at him from her corner which pissed him off, but as long as she wasn't saying anything. He kept asking Sara to tell him if she said anything bad to her, but she kept insisting that she had been quiet. He didn't believe that but didn't want to press the issue. He had also met Alyssa's husband Brent, who was the coolest person he'd met. They'd spent an hour talking about sports and they had a lot in common since he was a fellow professional athlete. It was also clear why Sara liked him so much.

A couple of times she got home from the hospital early, and they would watch a movie in the living room, on separate sides of the couch, which he hated. Sometimes they would talk and he absorbed everything she told him about the place she grew up in. Justin had never so blind in his entire life, there was still so much to discover about the amazing woman in front of him. He also noticed she was more receptive to his touches. She didn't pull away when he would grab her hand or pull her in for a hug.

He had been in touch with his team and whenever they would bring up Sara he would shut them down. "It's none of your business." He would tell them. He had to admit, it felt good being carefree. Sara was right, people were going to talk, no matter what.

He had just gotten back from therapy, when Sara came down the stairs smiling. He was confused. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?"

"I got home early, but I have some really good news." She was genuinely smiling for the first time in a while. He matched her face. "What's that?"

"They took my dad off the breathing tube." He let the words sink in before he spoke. "You mean he's breathing on his own?" She nodded, and without thinking, he grabbed her and skinned her around the foyer. "That's fantastic!" He set her down. "Are they assessing if there are any long term effects?"

He had been keeping Mitch updated and getting insight into the medical aspects of Mike's case. Justin supposed he could have googled it, but that usually went to the worst case scenario and he didn't want to think about that unless there was something to think about. He knew Sara had a meeting with her mom and sisters earlier in the week to discuss long term care options. (He wasn't stupid, it meant taking him off life support) Sara had come home that night in tears. Justin stayed up all night comforting her and they fell asleep in her bed. He woke up the next morning in a panic, thinking he overstepped his boundaries. But she didn't say anything, just carried on like normal.

It was killing him, he wanted clarification. She said she needed time, so that's what he was giving her. But one night they were strangers, other friends, then lovers the next. He was on the phone with AnnSophie the night before explaining all of this when she told him.

"Now being her friend, imagine what she felt when you were acting like this."

It was another harsh wakeup call. All that time he made Sara feel unsure. He was experiencing that now, and he didn't like that one bit. He wanted to ask Sara, but he didn't want to upset her while she was dealing with family issues.

Hearing this news brought hope for him as well as doubt. Maybe they could move forward, maybe they couldn't. What if she decided she didn't need him and told him to take a hike?

He couldn't think about that now, right now his only priority was Sara. Ashley had been calling, expecting him back in Los Angeles to discuss contracts and the team wanted him back for proper assessment of his shoulder. He had been out here for two weeks, longer than the organization thought he'd be. He told them that it had been a family emergency (technically it wasn't a lie) but now that it was out and open in the papers that Justin was with Sara for her dad the team didn't count that as family.

All he said was that he would be back when he would be back. Worst case scenario he would just go back to California for a week, then come back. However he was worried that he would be greeted with a fuck you from his love.

"Justin!" He broke from his thoughts and looked down at Sara. "Yes love?"

He smiled at the feeling of her shuddering at him calling her the pet name. "He isn't one hundred percent out of the woods yet. They won't really know anything unless he wakes up. There is still a chance he won't." He set her down and grabbed her face. "Let's not focus on that okay?" She nodded, and he pressed a kiss to her head.

"I also wanted to ask you something." He waited. "I'm going to the local dive bar in the area. My friends will be there, catching up on their lives. It's a private place, everyone is super respectful. Would you like to come with me?" Sara braced herself for the no but Justin was already one step ahead of her. "I would love to."

"Really?" He nodded. "Just let me know what time so I can get ready."

"Umm it's not until 7. I figured we could order food, eat and then get ready. It will be casual with a few drinks." He nodded.

Sara got the takeout menus from a kitchen drawer and spread them out. "Since you've been amazing making me dinner and being a big help, I'll let you decide tonight." He chuckled. "Wow, I'm so honored." She jokingly narrowed her eyes at him. "You should be."

He laughed and looked through them. It was all options he shouldn't be eating. But he'd been doing good on his diet and workouts, and he didn't need the cast anymore, so it was a night to treat himself. "What about this pizza place?" He pointed to the menu with the stuffed slices on there. Sara's eyes lit up. "Oh my god I love this place! It's the closest to Chicago style pizza! Have you ever been to that city?"

Justin smiled. "No, I haven't heard it's beautiful though." Her smile was contagious. "When Brent was drafted there I would always try to tag along when she visited on winter and spring break. We haven't told mom, but I would go out and explore the city by myself. Oh it's so beautiful at night!"

Justin was shocked. "Sara! She let you do that! That's so dangerous." She rolled her eyes. "Chicago is not bad. You just got to know what areas to stay away from. It's no more dangerous than certain areas of Pittsburgh or Los Angeles

He raised his eyebrows. Was she insinuating something? "I would love to go with you."

"Oh the food is great. You got Portillos,Giordano, Mario's Italian Ice. When I was getting any acting gigs. I almost thought about transferring to UIC." She sighed. "Sometimes, I think about settling down over there. Live in a nice condo overlooking the skyline. Maybe once I retire from acting."

"I would think you want to settle here. This place is gorgeous." She smiled. "Oh I sleep here, my soul is at peace. But I would like to test our living in different areas, you know?"

It made him think, was this future with him? "So I've been dealing with contract talks."

"Yeah?" He sighed. "They want me on a six year deal."

"Well that's nice. It will give you stability, and Los Angeles is close to Oregon." She started to write down the order before she called. "Do you want an appetizer or something?"

Justin smiled. "I'll take a Cannoli." Sara smiled and he knew what she was thinking. She had teased him the night she brought home cannolis from a local bakery in the Irvine area after their win against the Cardinals. He would never admit it, but it became one of his favorite guilty pleasures, other than his mom's chocolate cake and ice cream. Once she placed their order for delivery Justin decided to bring up the contract again. "Well I was thinking about the future, and where we could end up."

She looked at him puzzled. "We?" He nodded and walked over to her. "Sara, you are a part of my future, you know that?"

There was a moment of silence before she responded. "Let's talk about this another time." and walked away, leaving him mad. He wanted to talk about this now, but he decided against it. He didn't want to make her mad and start an argument. So again he pushed it off.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Sara was ready to go out. She felt ready.

The last time she was out, it didn't end good. But now that there was hope about her dad, there was no guilt about a night out with her old drama crew. Before she got ready she was on the phone with Erika, filling her in on all that happened. However, there had been a moment in the phone call that had her puzzled.

"Why is Justin with you?" Sara had just finished updating Erika on the status of her father and how her family was handling it.

"Excuse me?"

"I saw the photos of you two leaving the hospital all cozy, and then Heidi tells me you said not to confirm or deny anything."

She had her best friend on speaker as she was applying her makeup in her bathroom. "Since when do you speak with Heidi?"

"That's not the point Sara, I can't believe you took him back that easily." There was a frenzy in Erika's voice. "Erika, I didn't take him back."

There was a pause. "What has he said to you?"

"He wants me back, I kinda ripped into him about Taylor and all that."

Her friend sighed. "I don't know Sara, I think you shouldn't give him another chance. That's your problem, you're too weak." She was taken back

"Excuse me?"

"You're weak. You're gonna let him walk all over you again, and I'm gonna have to pick up the pieces."

"I'm not asking you to pick up pieces. You're supposed to be my best friend, that's what we do. Lord knows I have done it for you a million times." Erika was silent, and Sara knew she made a good point. "Whatever, just don't believe what he says. He's lying."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"When he's not around you call me and I'll tell you everything. Look, I got to go." She hung up. Leaving Sara confused.

As she was putting the finishing touch ups on her hair it was all she was thinking about. What did she mean by that? Deciding to postpone her thoughts until the next day, she finished getting ready. She looked casual in a nice long summer dress and heeled sandals since Justin was so tall.

She met him downstairs and laughed when she saw him in a form fitting Nike shirt and shorts. He smiled. "This is all I have that is considered nice. All the clothes you bought me are at home."

"I'm surprised you kept them." He frowned. "I couldn't throw them out. It'd be a waste of money, and you bought them. Deep down I always knew I couldn't lose you."

She smiled, but it was sad. "Too bad it took you three months to realize that." Justin grabbed her hand "I know."

Before he could say anything else, she grabbed her purse and said she would meet him in the car.

—------------------------------------------------------------

It was a small bar, a little hole in the wall filled with regulars. All who knew Sara, or at least pretended they did.

Justin felt out of place as Sara introduced him to her group of friends. They were from the drama club of her high school. All of them were the stereotypical drama club, with some having different colored hair, and piercings in spots he didn't know you could get. Truth be told, this was a group he couldn't see himself hanging out with in high school.

But as he got to know the group of six more, he was more relaxed around a group of strangers than some people he worked with. Her friend Ben was a huge Steelers fan, and gave him friendly shit which Justin laughed at. Her friend Hannah was fascinated by Hollywood, and was considering moving to Los Angeles.

"So Erika says hi." Sara said at one point. Justin didn't miss the way her friends negatively reacted. "I don't know why you hang out with her. Much less have her as your assistant."

"She's been my best friend since high school. You guys remember." One of the other guys, known as Ryder, snorted. "Yeah and there was a reason we cut her off."

Justin was curious. "What was the reason?"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Erika was boy crazy. Tried to sleep with all the guys in our friend group, started major fights. Almost split us up. She screwed Sara over a lot too." Justin looked at Sara. "Really?"

"I don't like to talk about it. She dated a bully of mine. But we talked it out and that was a while ago." Now Justin may have been bad at romantic relationships, but friendships he knew that it was a code you shouldn't break. Plus he knew how she was, she wore her heart on her sleeve. The bullying that she faced plus with her family issues put her in the hospital and on antidepressants. This wasn't a write off for him. He grabbed her hand underneath the table and squeezed it. Sara leaned into him.

The group moved on to other topics. Justin found out that Sara was quite the opposite of his goody two shoes childhood. She snuck out to concerts, talked back to her teachers (Only when she felt an injustice) and even got into a fight. Justin's eyes widened at that one. "Wait, you got into a fight?"

Her friends laughed and she nodded proud of herself. Ben cut in. "I'm surprised you don't know about it. There were articles on interviews that the other girl, Monica gave to every publication framing herself as a victim. She bullied us all through high school till Junior year when Sara had enough, Monica 'accidentally' spilled her milk on her at breakfast." He looked at Sara who smiled.

"It was no accident, so when she walked away after making fun of my outfit I grabbed her hair and pulled her to the ground. Was worth the two day suspension." Justin laughed. He was embarrassed to admit that he was getting turned on at the thought of Sara getting mad and into a fight.

Once they had a few drinks the group split up. Justin and Sara were cozy in a booth in the corner. "Your friends are awesome." He kissed the top of her head and she hummed. "They are amazing."

"Why are you friends with Erika?" He had to ask. She looked up at him. "Because she's amazing. I know she did some shady shit in the past, but she dropped everything for me. She came to Los Angeles to work under me. We had a rocky start, but she's great now."

Justin was silent. He wanted to tell her about what happened when he ran Into Erika and what AnnSophie said. However, now wasn't the time. He and AnnSophie were going back and forth texting, and it was decided he would tell her when her dad got better.

They stayed like that in the booth, sorta rocking side by side with the music. Sara smiled as a song Justin didn't recognize came on and she began to sing

Isn't love so fragile and the heart so shallow Shatter with words, impossible to follow. You're saying I'm fragile, I try not to be I search only for something I can't see

I have my own life And I am stronger than you know

But I carry this feeling When you walked into my house That you won't be walking out the door.

"This song came on my phone when you left." He looked at her confused. So she explained. "After you left, the first night you came over. I was singing it, and I thought it was perfect."

"You really love Fleetwood Mac don't you?" Justin knew she did, but he didn't know how much. She nodded. "It was always me and my dad's thing growing up. When I took him to meet her I swear to God he told me how proud of me he was. First time he ever told me."

Justin shook his head. He hoped when her dad woke up that he would get a new chance to truly appreciate his youngest daughter. Sara adjusted her body to where she was looking directly at him. "I'm sorry." She stated. He was confused. "For what?"

"Looking through your phone, taking screenshots of messages with other girls."

She was ridiculous. He shook his head and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her to him. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I gave you every reason not to trust me." He grabbed her chin to force her to look at him and even then, he didn't speak until her brown eyes met his. "Sara, I have never had a thing with Taylor after we became exclusive. I should have told you everything. I thought I was handling the situation when really I wasn't be honest." He felt her hand rubbing up and down his side. "I love you Sara."

She hummed, and before he could say anything else, she kissed him. He wasn't expecting it at all. She wasn't drunk, she only had one drink so far, and was nursing the other one. Justin decided to relax into it. Letting off a soft moan that shot electricity straight below his belt. She broke the kiss after a few moments. He was sure both of their lips were swollen by now. Sara took a deep breath. "I think I need some water." She laughed and he joined her. "I would join you, but I uuh." She looked down and laughed as he referred to his erection. "I'll bring you back some more." While he wasn't wearing the cast he still had painkillers.

He watched as she got up and went to the bar area where her friends were at. He smiled and touched his lips, savoring the feel of her lips for the first time in a while.

The door of the bar opened, and a group of douchebags came in. Justin could tell by their attire and how they carried themselves. The blonde, who was tall, immediately made a beeline towards the bar and sat next to Sara.

Justin was on high alert as Sara tensed. She knew him, and it wasn't in a pleasant way.

—------------------------------------------------------------

"Miss me sare bear?" Ryder smirked, and Sara's stomach turned.

He was one of the bullies in high school that would torture her, push her into things. When the drama section won the state championship and she announced her plans to attend UCLA Ryder made a Facebook poll asking if she was hot enough to make it out in LA. It was mostly their shitty friend group that included Monica. "Yes, I thought of you when I was working with Sydney Sweeney." She was his celebrity crush.

He smirked. "Cute. But I wish you would get your tits out. I bet they still look just as good in high school as they do know. You got a better face and lost some weight."

She rolled her eyes. "How did you know I was here? You always made fun of this place."

He smirked and when her water came he took a sip of it. "I have my secrets. Also when do you just drink water? Pandemic slow you down sizzler sister?"

Grabbing the water for Justin she just glared at him before heading back to the table where Justin was also staring at him. "Who is he?"

"An asshole jock who used to bully me but now wants to sleep with me." She didn't miss how his face scowled when she mentioned that. "Asshole." He wrapped his arm around her. Sara immediately felt better being engulfed in his large arms. They sat there for a while, enjoying the atmosphere and just people watching. Finally Sara spoke. "I missed this. I missed you."

Justin hummed. "I missed you more. As much as I tried to deny it, I need you. There is no one else for me."

As much as she wanted to enjoy those sweet words it got Sara thinking. Being in a bar made her think about the video he was tagged in on instagram. Where he was dancing with someone else. Also about the photos of him with Taylor, all of those things she said to Sara when they ran into each other at SoFi.

She tried to push that out of her mind as Justin kissed her. "Wanna get out of here?" She nodded. "I can't party the way I used to." Justin laughed. "I've reached my social limit." Feeling brave, Sara looked at him. "Do you want to go home and maybe watch a movie in my room?" She traced her finger along his chest and he shuddered, knowing a movie mostly led to earth shattering sex. It got him excited, not just because of the sex but the fact it was another step in the right direction.

He got up and told her to wait while he grabbed the car. As soon as he left the building she felt someone slip in next to her. She didn't need to look to see who it was. "Leave me alone Ryder."

"I just wanna talk. Catch up." He smiled. "Is that your man?"

"What's it to you?" He shrugged. "I'm surprised. You guys don't make a good couple."

She rolled her eyes. "Good thing I don't care what you think."

He laughed. "Come on, you know your friends agree too. In fact everyone knows he dumped you because of fame. "

"Well we worked things out, thank you for your concern." What the hell was taking so long for him to get the car?

"Also Biscotti, the girl he was seeing. Is way hotter than you." That stung, Sara looked away, just confirming that he hit a sore spot Ryder smiled. "Let's face it Sarebear all you have to you is money and tits. Blondie is tall, skinny, and knows her sports. She's the American dream, Herbert will marry someone like her. Where you are just a good fuck. That's all you are, someone to fuck."

Her phone dinged, and she looked at it.

Justin: I'm outside

Ryder saw his message and smiled. "Let's face it, no matter how hard you try. You will never be good enough. Taylor will always look better on his arm. Plus imagine she will be around him all of the time. Dude is gonna see that he made the wrong choice in choosing you" She got up and walked towards the door. Tears in her eyes she heard him yell. "Tell Erika to call me!"

—-----------------------------------------------------------

"Are you okay?" Justin was Startled when she abruptly got into the car and slammed the door shut, rattling the whole vehicle.

"Good, why do you ask?" She switched to innocent in the span of seconds. Justin knew better and saw past her acting. "Hun, you were happy when I left to get the car a few minutes ago. Sorry that it took so long, I had a call with my agent."

She looked straight ahead. What agent calls at 11pm? Justin stared at her. "Are you sure-"

"Yes I am fine, let's just get back to my house." He didn't miss the word change. Instead of arguing he put the car in drive and drove off. The whole ride, he tried to make conversation, but Sara was engrossed in her phone. The mood changed from the bar just a few minutes prior. "What's wrong?"

She looked up briefly. "It's my sisters updating me on my dad."

He frowned, keeping his eyes on the road and following the GPS. "We can stop at your mom's house, or the hospital if you like."

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine." The rest of the ride was silent. Once he parked the car in her driveway he looked over at her and was about to ask what was wrong, but she jumped out and was in the house in a flash. Cursing, he tried to get to her but she was already in her room with the door closed by the time he got in the house. He knocked. "Hey, did you still want to watch a movie? We could put it on in the living room." He didn't even care where it was, he just wanted to be close to her.

After a minute she replied through the door. "No I'm fine, I have a headache, that one drink really got to me. I'll see you in the morning."

Justin couldn't give up. "Sara, please talk to me. What's going on?"

The shower was turned on, and Justin knew he was going to be shut out. That was okay, they made progress. He would give her some space. In the morning he would talk to her.

—----------------------------------------------------------‐—----

Unfortunately when his alarm woke him up at 6am she was already gone.

Fuck. How the hell did she get up and get ready without waking him? He was a light sleeper, so he was sure she would wake him up. Sighing, he got ready to go to therapy. He was still getting calls from Ashley and Tom urging him to come back to Los Angeles for assessment. The Spanos family wasn't too happy that their star Quarterback was seeking treatment outside of the organization, especially since the team grades came out with a poor review of their trainers.

He kept putting it off. He didn't want to go back. He and Sara were seemingly making progress, even though right now it seemed like they took a few steps back.

After Justin got out of Therapy, he decided to head to the grocery store. It was only 11am so he figured she was at the hospital. As much as he wanted to go up there, Sara had told them it was high security because of her status. It was decided after fans and paps were outside the hospital that they needed to put more protective measures in place.

When he was at the grocery store he was getting more stares. Now people knew who he was and who he was involved with. He wore his mask, but his height easily gave him away. Justin knew people were recording him and looking at what was in his cart. He grabbed what he thought was a good dinner choice and quickly went through the checkout. The cashier was a middle aged man.

"You know I'm a huge Steelers fan, so I should be charging you extra tax." He was smiling so Justin knew he was teasing. He laughed. The guy continued. "You are a good player. Got a bright future in the league. Maybe you'll come over here since you got ties?" He knew the guy meant Sara

Justin smiled. He didn't want to say too much about his personal life. He also didn't want this guy going to a reporter and giving him "inside scoop" "Naw I'm used to Los Angeles."

Once the transaction was over and the man went to hand Justin his receipt he spoke again. This time it was low so know one else would hear. "Listen, we may not know Sara here personally. But she has done a lot for the city of Pittsburgh. Does a lot for the poverty here. Started a fund to pay for the struggling for food. We all love her and are very protective of her."

Justin nodded. He knew Sara did a lot of charity work and she didn't really like to talk about it. "It's not a good deed if you brag about it." She told him.

Once he got home and put all of the groceries away he decided to call his family. He'd been preoccupied the past few weeks since he left and hadn't kept his family updated.

He called his mom. "Justin! We saw the photos! Are you guys back together? People are asking and I don't know what to say. When are you coming home?"

Justin laughed. "Mom, slow down. I'm just helping her through this time. I mean," he didn't know how to explain this to his mom. "I'm still working on it.

"Oh. You two looked pretty cozy at some place last night?"

"What?"

"It's all over social media. You guys look so cute!" Justin would have to deal with that later. After explaining to his mom the situation at hand, he hung up. While he went to the garage to grab some extra cleaning supplies he saw Sara's car there. Weird, since she was gone. Her bedroom was empty.

Justin sighed. Deciding to shoot her a text

Are you at the hospital?

After a minute

Yes.

Let me pick you up in a few hours. It's important.

Okay.

Well it was a start. He sat down on the couch and began looking at videos of exercises his trainers wanted him to go over.

As he looked through the videos, a suggested popped up out of the corner of his side

Watch Sara Wozniak's Savage×Fenty debut!

Curious, he clicked on it. It was a compilation of clips from her sets. She looked gorgeous. He saw her in Chargers lingerie and he was turned on.

The comments were disgusting. Assholes described what they would do to her and he wanted to comment back the threats he had in his mind.

There was one comment that stood out

Too bad Herbert stood her up. My sister worked the show and said she was a mess when her man didn't show. Was said to believe he was coming.

His heart broke..

He needed to fix this.

A/N: Bit of a filler, but Happy 25th Birthday King!

#justin herbert #Alexa writes collide #nfl imagine

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mastersoftheair · 6 months

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this comment by mitch stone (a hair stylist and photographer) was left on a MotA-related post made by kirstin chalmers (a hair and makeup designer for the show). if i'm right that he's talking about MotA (why else would he leave that comment?), i suppose there were reshoots in los angeles (at some point?) and isabel may may have been cast in the show.

neither may nor stone are mentioned on MotA's imdb page, but stranger things have happened.

#so onto the blog it goes #if some of mota was filmed in los angeles this is literally the first i've ever heard of it #same with isabel may. i thought i knew of all the women cast up til this point #'love interest' is such a broad term here tho. given the number of men in the show like. the love interest for which guy Exactly?#this could all be speculation tho. there's nothing wrong with a healthy amount of guesswork #it's hard to fact check when you're not 'in the know' but i'm still gonna see if there's anything more to this #masters of the air #hbo war #(i wish i had a 'speculation' tag bc idk if this qualifies as 'news'. but there's nowhere else to put this. ig it doesn't get sorted)#isabel may

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deadcactuswalking · 22 days

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 06/04/2024 (Beyoncé's COWBOY CARTER)

Welp, as one would expect, she gets the double, the #1 album with COWBOY CARTER and “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” is back up top. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we shall start with our notable dropouts - songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the chart or a peak in the top 40 - and this week, we bid adieu to some big deals: “FRI(END)S” by V (more BTS on the way), “BURN” by Hitler and Goebbels, “Coal” by Dylan Gossett, “Grey” by Yung Filly, “Selfish” by Justin Timberlake, “redrum” by 21 Savage, “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party, “Strangers” by Kenya Grace and finally, “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake.

As for our returns, we see “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi back to bottom-dwell at #75 and #74, alongside “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo at #71, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, they’re basically all in the same boat. Notable gains on the other hand… we see boosts for “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #67, “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #52, “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti at #50, “Never be Lonely” by Jax Jones and Zoe Wees at #41, sigh, “Been Like This” by Meghan Trainor and T-Pain at #40, SIGH, “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #38, “Slow it Down” by Benson Boone at #27 (likely even further next week thanks to the album), “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #26, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #25 (what a great new run this is having), “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor at #22, and finally, Artemas gets his first top 10 with “i like the way you kiss me”. I mean, at least it’s interesting.

Now our top five should look pretty familiar: “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande at #5, “Too Sweet” by Hozier at #4, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #2 and of course Bey knocks Benjamin Boonerang off the #1 to #2 with “Beautiful Things”. Now to talk about - let’s be real - Beyoncé and some minor cameos.

New Entries

#64 - “NEURON” - j-hope, Gaeko and YOON MIRAE

Produced by Pdogg

So, j-hope of BTS released an album - or it seems more like a mixtape - that landed at #38 on the albums chart thanks to the classic BTS sales. Whilst there doesn’t appear to be a clear single on the project, especially considering j-hope was always more of a rapper in the group, but this got the video treatment and is very much what I expect from j-hope, at least from the very little I’ve heard of his solo work. It’s got a set of blissful pads against a vocoder sample and surprisingly heavy-hitting boom bap drums, as well as sing-songy rap flows in a nasal, almost J. Cole-like delivery that could be about love but keep it vaguer in the verse, it might be more conscious and spiritual, especially considering the focus on neuron activation. Gaeko is a lot more explicitly introspective, looking back on his life and how he’s not as aggressive as he used to be in his youth, finding more solace in playing ball with his son that “embracing the bomb” - some of the Genius translation could miss out some detail or context here. Now YOON MIRAE, a female rapper, really brings the heat here, as the intensity of the pianos ramp up, the beat gets a tad more minimal and she raps bilingually in a deeper yell than either of the guys here can cough up. She speaks somewhat generically of the rap game and motivation to grind, but her riffing on the final chorus is what convinces me, as well as her acknowledging that she’s granted the beat drop in the song, it shows an awareness of the structure of the song and not just being a guest rap verse, it’s clever and interesting, really puts the verse into perspective. So I ended up really liking this - it’s a bit fluffy, as K-pop often is, but it’s got grit and meaning to it this time around, and with the variety in flows, focused content, I can dig this.

#62 - “Jump” - Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng

Produced by Sammy Sosa

I quite liked Tyla’s self-titled debut, currently at #33 on the albums chart. The South African singer brings a reassuring, youthful joy to detailed production and it’s all a light, feathery bliss that’s just a delight to sit through, even if the record is clearly not for sitting. I have a full first-impressions review on my RateYourMusic listening log (the account is exclusivelytopostown) if you want more thoughts on that, but my favourite moments on the album are when guest features with a little more smolder are brought in to balance the sweetness, like with Tems on “No. 1” and with Gunna and Jamaican deejay Skillibeng on this track, “Jump”, which has a subtle sprinkling of Afrobeats guitars and keys over the very unsubtle rhythm section, a great deep bass and busy drums that can counter the choir vocals in the verses as well as Tyla belting a tad on the chorus. There’s little substance to it - it’s just about being hot and having fun, with a hilariously repetitive post-chorus, but both Tyla and Gunna shout out her native Johannesburg and if you were expecting anything of further depth, you’re just listening to the wrong album. This is a lot of fun and I hope it catches on.

#61 - “I LUV IT” - Camila Cabello featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by El Guincho and Jasper Harris

Sometimes I wish this show was a video series. For this entry, I would probably just point and laugh at the calculated attempt to be interesting, for a demographic I’m a part of, and failing so catacylismically that no-one is buying it or bothering to listen more than once. I don’t mean to be harsh, and I’m not blaming the artists, more so the label and marketing teams: when releasing a pop single, you first have to consider - who is this for? Who can you appeal to and how? Here, Camila has her own fanbase already, so she’s going to try and appeal to them, naturally. Also, it has a very edgy, cinematic video for fans of say, The Weeknd or people who watch Euphoria. Sure, okay, that could work. Oh, and the song sounds like Charli XCX - though she recruited ROSALÍA’s producer - so she’s trying to appeal to her hyperpop crowd, that’s fine, you’re stretching yourself a bit thin there though, it could be a bit too camp for the edgy crowd if you do that, and a bit too dark for the hyperpop crowd if you get Playboi Carti on board, because I guess she needs a rap crossover audience… or at least an experimental rap crossover audience in this case. At least she’s not using a nostalgia-bait sample of a Gucci Mane song from… oh, she’s using a nostalgia-bait sample of a Gucci Mane song from 2009. Okay, so I guess the target demographic is everyone now, but hyperpop fans like authenticity, and this clearly doesn’t have it. Carti fans hate women, Camila’s own fans, if her old comments are anything to go by, hate… “rappers”, let’s say that. And really, what person who would be nostalgic for Gucci’s “Lemonade” - never charted here, by the way - would even be keeping an eye out for Camila Cabello? This is just a travesty of a lead single… and the song’s brilliant, all of that context just makes what the eventual end product is completely hilarious.

I’ve always been an advocate for mess in pop music - not necessarily the discourse, but the music itself and the rollout surrounding it - because it is exciting and part of the reason I do this show. There are more fascinating stories to be told with music when it reaches a mass audience, it’s just natural, and that’s especially interesting when the song is a Goddamn trainwreck that’s catchy as sin and does everything wrong. There are rage synths that don’t last the entire measure for no reason - and they don’t try and hide it - whilst the synths on the chorus play the role of a theremin. Cabello not being able to sing all that well means that her playing staccato, hyperpop robo-girl over a pretty rote Jersey club groove actually goes really well for her, even if she inexplicably decorates the song in breathy ad-libs as if she herself was Playboi Carti. Speaking of ad-libs, they leave in Gucci’s original “brr”s in the chorus, seemingly out of either laziness or refusal to re-record the choir hook, and given both hooks are just mantras, there are basically two choruses instead of an active chorus/post-chorus dynamic, especially since there is no considerable change sonically or tonally between the two. This lack of structure culminates in a “bridge” that is JUST multi-tracked ad-libs, and features Cabello saying “slow down, baby”… the tempo remains the same entirely and the drums don’t go into half-time like they probably should for a Playboi Carti feature. He goes for his deep, richer voice and the song just kind of… ends with his verse? Barely catching up to the beat, Carti rambles as usual, even less coherent in his mumbling than usual, and eventually, Cabello tries to insert herself into his orbit, it’s so painful. It’s telling that when I search for this song on Spotify, the artists recommended to me are Carti, Charli and then Ken Carson and Lancey Foux. Camila herself is nowhere to be seen in that list of artists and whether that’s because there’s none of her personality in this song or she didn’t have any to begin with is a question for another day. For now, this is garbage. I love it.

#60 - “Outside of Love” - Becky Hill

Produced by PARISI

Now Becky Hill kind of has something to prove to me now, she’s been on increasingly better production that fits the places she wants to go with her voice a lot more as of recent and it’s been pretty promising. Also promising are PARISI, a duo who I mostly connect with Fred again.. but have also worked extensively with Ed Sheeran, and particularly on some of his most interestingly layered songs vocally like “Afterglow” and “Visiting Hours” which may be a coincidence but had me really excited for what the boys could do with Ms. Hill. Turns out it probably was a coincidence, the vocal mixing is kind of mediocre actually, they don’t really contain her belting very well, not that it really needs containing given this is fully in festival mode. Everytrinkling synth pad, house kick, it feels like it’s a constant light fluttering under Hill’s desperate attempt to jigsaw this relationship back together. I know it’s an EDM-pop track so the lyrics are little to write home about but it should still be said that the description of herself as on the “outside of love” is interesting imagery, it makes me wonder what could be done with that concept by a more poetic writer who has a bit more time and, let’s be real, a fitting sonic palette for that kind of lyricism. Whilst this hasn’t immediately clicked with me as much as the past two, I feel I’ll appreciate this one for just being a maximalist bop with terribly-mixed gospel-like vocals on the final drop, it goes for an onslaught of everything in a very admirable way. It’s cute, it reminds me of when 2000s Eurodance hits would go way harder than they needed to simply to raise the dramatic stakes. So yeah, another Becky Hill song I like. World’s crumbling.

#9 - “II MOST WANTED” - Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus

Produced by Beyoncé, Shawn Everett, Michael Pollack, Miley Cyrus and Jonathan Rado

So, there’s a Beyoncé album, I think? It’s got a country and western tinge to it. Heard it’s long, heard it’s pretty good. Haven’t heard it. I probably will not listen to it and I’m not saying that to be “cool” or contrarian because if I were, I’d have listened to it and pretended to hate it. Realistically, I don’t have a dog in the Beyoncé does country argument. I’m not a country fan, or a country hater, I’m not a big Beyoncé fan, or Azealia Banks, so I have nothing valuable to contribute to the discourse as well as no reason to hear a damn near feature-length record. When Beyoncé did house, firstly, she did it well, and secondly, I’m a fan of house music! I know more about it than other genres, I’m quite educated in certain subgenres and I recognised a few of the samples and cultural references she was lifting from on RENAISSANCE. I feel like most of them may be lost on me or not fully resonate when discussing her pivot to country music, and I wish that wasn’t the case. Part of me just wants to say that I listen to Weezer and future bass so leave me alone. Thankfully, the British public has given me the easiest plate of two tracks from this album: a Dolly Parton cover and a mid Miley duet. It’s about being a ride-or-die, it’s got soaring guitars and both ladies have an audible rasp and grit to their voices, even if Miley ends up like a backing vocalist at times to Bey. They’re trading lyrics or in harmony nearly all the time, and Miley plays it a lot calmer than Bey, naturally, who probably wants and needs to prove herself in country pop more than the seasoned player. Hell, I actually think their chemistry here is awkward and not accentuated by the vague western-soundfont lyrics that don’t play into any notable angle, and in the bridge, just kind of give up on themselves. It’s a bit disappointing, to say the least.

#8 - “JOLENE” - Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, Khirye Tyler, Jack Ro and NOVA WAV

Dolly Parton’s iconic 1973 jam “Jolene”, begging desperately for this beautiful woman not to cheat on her husband, is pretty undeniable, right? Well, I’ve never really liked it, sorry to say. My taste in country is pretty horrific, I’ll be the first to admit, but I’ve always found the instrumentation underwhelming and going for sinister when Dolly is selling it with a long of strength and desperacy, like she’s at her last tether. The sapphic elements are compelling of course, but they collapse in the third verse, then it fades out having sonically done nothing much at all. There’s always been something breezy about it to me that I never really understood, and that’s no disrespect to Dolly, she’s easily my favourite part. Regardless, this is one of those times where I have to give a chart history, so flashback to 1976, when “Jolene” first lands on the UK charts and peaks at #7, when “Combine Harvester” by the Wurzels was #1. I know that one because of my dad, if you haven’t heard that song… you know what, don’t.

“Jolene” was Dolly’s first top 10 over here and ended up re-entering a few times in the 2010s. Before that came many re-imaginings. First, in 1985, we had Glasgow’s Strawberry Switchblade cover the song, in a weird mix of new wave, freestyle and western elements that really show what performative country aesthetics can be, because this has more to do with darkwave than anything from the Deep South. It peaked at #53 and it is terrible. The 2000s is where the covers really ramped up, firstly in 2000 with the #100-peaking cover by London alt-rock outfit Queenadreena. Seemingly not on streaming, it came with their original, “Pretty Polly”, and fully goes into the dark cabaret aesthetic, especially in that... choice of a music video. I think I might prefer it to the original, it makes Jolene sound like an evil woman who I would like to step on me. We also saw a #99 peak for a song in 2007 by folk singer Ray LaMontagne also coincidentally called “Jolene” - it’s not a cover, but it’s a pretty great, tragic narrative ballad if you’re interested. Good accidental discovery to make. My favourite cover of “Jolene”, however, and the only version to get close to Dolly’s original peak until Queen Bey was the version recorded by the garage rock duo, The White Stripes, specifically a 2004 live version that peaked at #16. Now, am I biased because I love Jack White? Yes. Yes, I am, and so does Beyoncé, so shush. Everyone and their mother has covered Dolly, but out of all “Jolene” renditions I’ve heard, Jack just sounds the most devastated, and the eventual crash into distorted, hapless guitars and Meg White’s ugly-ass snares after that rushed, chaotic percussion panned exclusively to the left throughout, is incredibly cathartic. And that’s just the studio version - the live version that charted is even more dire and Jack is downright pathetic on it, worsened by the audience wooing, cheering and clapping on occasion, it eggs on Jolene in a way and publicises his angst “Jolene - Live Under Blackpool Lights” might honestly be one of the greatest cover songs of all time.

So how does Beyoncé fare? Well, she changes a lot of the lyrics to act more as a warning to people attempting to take JAY-Z instead of desperately begging Jolene not to get with JAY-Z, mostly because I don’t think Beyoncé could easily sell being helpless, especially in the context of her husband - we all heard Lemonade. I’m not sure how effectively you can sell the warning shot either considering, well, there was a Becky with some good hair who did all of this a few years ago. Sonically, I’m not head over heels for what sounds like a pretty rote rendition, even if Beyoncé’s vocals and some of the lyrics add a lot of character that simply isn’t in the instrumental. The backing vocal repeating “Jolene” at sporadic intervals, I can’t figure out exactly who it is, probably The-Dream, but he reminds me of Wyclef Jean on “Hips Don’t Lie”. That’s my intellectual observation. I just used a review of a song from the biggest black female country album ever to talk about a guy whose last name is literally White. When she releases a pop punk album, I’ll be more in tune, but for now, leave it to Azealia Banks and Spectrum Pulse, I’m sure if you combined the two, you’d create Frankenstein’s cultural critic.

Conclusion

Fascinatingly enough, this was a great week outside of Beyoncé, who takes away Worst of the Week for “II MOST WANTED” with Miley Cyrus and the Dishonourable Mention for her cover of “JOLENE”. Neither song are terrible, but I think I established in both reviews that my general disinterest for the album doesn’t entirely cover a lot of the flaws I believe are present in these tracks, I’m sorry. Again, I like Beyoncé, just not these particular records. As for the best… oh, God, it’s Camila Cabello’s “I LUV IT” featuring Playboi Carti, isn’t it? Honourable Mention goes to Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng for “Jump” but I think I’ll have to spend a few days in rehab recovering from picking the other song as my Best of the Week. As for what’s on the horizon, more insufferable discourse as J. Cole drops a surprise diss record. Other than that, Charli XCX links with Gesaffelstein, Benson links with Boone and there’s new tracks from Bryson Tiller, Ava Max and the Imagine Dragons. All of it could chart, none of it could chart, we’ll see. For now, however, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #beyonce #cowboy carter #miley cyrus #dolly parton #white stripes #becky hill #camila cabello #playboi carti #tyla #gunna #skillibeng #j-hope #gaeko #yoon mirae

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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Oops! All linkdump!

Tonight (May 2) I’ll be in Portland at the Cedar Hills Powell’s with Andy Baio for my new novel, Red Team Blues.

On May 5, I’ll be at the Books, Inc in Mountain View with Mitch Kapor; and on May 6/7, I’ll be in Berkeley at the Bay Area Bookfest.

In 1997, Jorn Barger coined the term “web-log” to describe his website “Robot Wisdom,” where he logged his journeys around this exciting new digital space called “the web.” Two years later, Peter Merholz shortened “web-blog” to “blog”:

https://peterme.com/archives/00000205.html

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this dump to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/02/wunderkammer/#jubillee

Two years after that, I started blogging, when Mark Frauenfelder made me a guest-editor on Boing Boing:

https://boingboing.net/2001/01/13/hey-mark-made-me-a.html

I’ve now been blogging for 23 years, nearly half my life, a near-daily discipline that forms the spine of my writing practice. I take everything that seems important, and, in summarizing it for strangers, embed it in my own mind, and then find connections that turn into essays, speeches, stories and novels:

https://doctorow.medium.com/the-memex-method-238c71f2fb46

For the past 3+ years, I’ve been blogging solo on my Pluralistic.net project. It started off as a “link-blog,” in the Robot Wisdom vein — short hits summarizing interesting things:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/19/pluralist-19-feb-2020/

But over the months and years, it’s turned into a place where I write long essays, sometimes six or seven per week, trying to pull on all those threads that I’ve cataloged over the decades, weaving them together into big, thoughtful pieces, often to great and gratifying notice and even a little fanfare:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

But I miss the linkblogging! For the past 14 months, Pluralistic has featured a little section called “Hey look at this,” where I post three short links, bare-bones pointers to interesting stuff online:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/01/reit-modernization-act/#linkdump

These links pile up in my todo.txt file, ebbing and flowing. Some days, I’ve got nothing for the section. Some days, I’ve got a backlog. These days, I’ve got a massive backlog — enough links for many, many editions. I am drowning in linkblog debt, and the interest is compounding. It’s time for a jubilee:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/24/grandparents-optional-party/#jubilee

Here, then, is the first-ever Pluralistic Jubilee Linkdump Backlog Bankruptcy!

First up:

“The Internet Isn’t Meant To Be So Small,” Kelsey McKinney’s crie-de-coeur for Defector:

https://defector.com/the-internet-isnt-meant-to-be-so-small

This is part of the enshittification canon that includes Cat Valente’s unmissable “Stop Talking to Each Other and Start Buying Things”:

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/stop-talking-to-each-other-and-start

McKinney’s money-shot:

It is worth remembering that the internet wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be six boring men with too much money creating spaces that no one likes but everyone is forced to use because those men have driven every other form of online existence into the ground. The internet was supposed to have pockets, to have enchanting forests you could stumble into and dark ravines you knew better than to enter. The internet was supposed to be a place of opportunity, not just for profit but for surprise and connection and delight. Instead, like most everything American enterprise has promised held some new dream, it has turned out to be the same old thing — a dream for a few, and something much more confining for everyone else.

This doesn’t just make me want to stand up and salute — it makes me want to build a barricade (or a guillotine).

On to “Reddit Data API Update: Changes to Pushshift Access,” a Reddit thread where the volunteer mods are discussing another enshittification move: Reddit’s pre-IPO API shut-down that has broken all the mod tools that volunteers use to shovel out Reddit’s Augean Stables, getting rid of spam and catfishing and fraud:

https://old.reddit.com/r/modnews/comments/134tjpe/reddit_data_api_update_changes_to_pushshift_access/

This isn’t just “stop talking to each other and start buying things” — this is “stop doing billions of dollars in volunteer labor keeping our users safe, and start paying us for the privilege.” Good luck with that, Reddit.

Hey! The Hollywood writers are back on strike! The Guild is a shitkicking, take-no-prisoners, radical union with massive solidarity:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/5/2/23707813/wga-hollywood-writers-strike-2023-streaming-ai-wages-contract

It’s what let them trounce the talent agencies — hyper-concentrated to just four companies, two owned by private equity ghouls — over a 22 month strike:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/23/opsec-and-personal-security/#monopsony

The talent agencies had rigged the system so that instead of getting a 10% commission on the writers’ earnings, they were taking as much as 90% out of every dollar — and were about to make it worse, building their own studios, so they could negotiate with themselves on behalf of their clients. In the same week, 7,000 writers — even the ones who weren’t getting screwed — fired their agents, and demanded a return to the 90/10 split and a ban on agencies owning studios. The agencies say nfw. The writers stayed on the picket line.

There’s a whole chapter on this in Chokepoint Capitalism, Rebecca Giblin’s and my book on creative labor markets and monopoly. One of our sources was David Goodman, who led the strike:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

David hosted our LA launch, where he told us, “We thought the agencies had all the power. We learned that they only had as much power as we gave them. You can make a movie without an agent. You can’t make one without a writer.”

The new strike is about the same thing as the old strike: shifting money from labor to capital. The studios have figured out how to use streaming to avoid paying writers, using gimmicks like shorter seasons and running their own streaming services to dodge the wages the writers are owed. As the union says, the studios “created a gig economy inside a union workforce.”

I live in Burbank, where many of these studios are located. I’ll see you on the picket line.

Sticking with labor for a moment: the Biden administration is investigating the use of bossware — the spyware your boss uses to monitor your driving, keystrokes, web usage, location, hand-movements, facial expressions, even your eyeballs:

https://gizmodo.com/remote-work-surveillance-software-workers-rights-1850392911

The White House Office of Science and Technology Policy’s Request for Information solicits your experiences with bossware:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/050123_OSTP_RFI_PREPUBLISH_.pdf

They want to know:

Workers’ firsthand experiences with surveillance technologies;

Details from employers, technology developers, and vendors on how they develop, sell, and use these technologies;

Best practices for mitigating risks to workers;

Relevant data and research; and

Ideas for how the federal government should respond to any relevant risks and opportunities.

If you’re living under bossware’s yoke — say, if your boss has transformed “work from home” into “live at work,” then you know what to do: melt the switchboard!

One more labor story: a reminder that labor rights are a marathon, not a sprint. A group of Amazon drivers won a $30/hour contract through their union, the Teamsters. Even more importantly, the contract lets them refuse to work under unsafe conditions (it’s never just about money):

https://www.vox.com/technology/2023/4/27/23667968/amazon-contractor-delivery-union-teamsters

But there’s a catch: these are Amazon drivers, but they don’t work for Amazon. They drive Amazon-branded vans, specced down to the last rivet by Amazon. They wear Amazon vests. They deliver Amazon packages. But they work for “Delivery Service Partners,” a kind of pyramid scheme created by Amazon that tricks workers into thinking that paying Amazon for the privilege of working for a trillion-dollar company makes them “entrepreneurs.”

Instead, they’re “chickenized reverse centaurs.” “Chickenized” because — like poultry farmers — they are totally controlled by a monopoly buyer that dictates every part of their business to them, dribbling out just enough money to roll over their loans and go deeper into debt. “reverse-centaurs,” because they’re the inverse of the AI theorists’ idea of a “centaur,” that is, a computer-assisted human. Instead, they are human-assisted computers, with their every last move scripted to the finest degree by bossware that they have to pay for:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/03/19/the-shakedown/#weird-flex

Amazon now has the luxury of terminating its contract with the union’s employer — the cutout that allows Amazon to maintain the worker misclassification pretext that these drivers in Amazon vans wearing Amazon uniforms delivering Amazon packages don’t work for Amazon.

Amazon hates unions in ways that are hard for everyday people to grasp. One of the organizers of the union drive has been illegally terminated in retaliation for his labor activism:

https://news.bloomberglaw.com/daily-labor-report/amazon-delivery-owner-says-he-was-punished-for-supporting-union

This fuckery doesn’t mean that union organizing is dead. As Jane McAlevy writes in “A Collective Bargain,” her superb memoir of her union-organizing career, unions started winning the class war when labor organizing was illegal, fighting in the teeth of a rigged legal system. We won then, we’ll win again:

https://doctorow.medium.com/a-collective-bargain-a48925f944fe

Seeing defeat (seemingly) snatched from the jaws of victory is a major bummer, but a better world is possible. It’s not even complicated — it’s just hard. If you are in precarious housing, or homeless, or if you experience the moral injury of living in a city where your neighbors lack the foundational human right to a home, it’s easy to feel despondent.

But solving homelessness isn’t complicated, it’s just hard. In Finland, they solved homelessness through the simple expedient of giving everyone a home. This didn’t just address the problem of not having a home — it also made incredible progress on the comorbidities of homelessness, like mental health problems and addiction. Turns out, getting sober or getting treatment is a lot easier when you’re not freezing to death on a sidewalk. Whoathunk?

https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/how-finland-solved-homelessness

There are many ways to improve our cities. You can (and should) fight for better local government, but there’s always the tantalizing option of taking matters into your own hands. That’s what the Crosswalk Vigilantes do. They research the intersections where cars are killing their neighbors, then they put on hi-viz vests, set out traffic-cones, and install crosswalks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x33yLuJ5slI

If you’re wondering how the forces of bossware, homelessness, and other enshittifying factors came to rule, it’s actually pretty straightforward. 40 years ago, we installed a software patch called neoliberalism (in some regions, this patch was had localized names like Thatcherism or Reaganomics).

40 years later, the patch is an unequivocal failure and now it’s our job to roll it back, despite all the broken dependencies this will trigger. Most of us can see this is true, but not The Economist, which Brad DeLong calls “Neoliberalism’s Final Stronghold” in his Project Syndicate article:

https://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/economist-writers-last-true-believers-in-neoliberalism-by-j-bradford-delong-2023-04

De Long’s catalog of the recent bizarre, delusional work in The Economist embodies Upton Sinclair’s maxim, “it is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.”

Every Naomi Kritzer story is a fucking delight and “Better Living Through Algorithms,” just published in Clarkesworld, is no exception:

https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/kritzer_05_23/

Few writers are better at inhabiting the uncomfortable space between recognizing the delights of the internet without flinching away from its horrors. This one is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.

If you’re just discovering Kritzer, check out “So Much Cooking,” an eerily prophetic 2015 story in the form of a series of perky cooking-blog posts amidst a global pandemic. It got a much-deserved second life during lockdown’s peak sourdough moment:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/04/17/pack-of-knaves/#so-much-cooking

And then try her at book length! “Catfishing on Catnet” is Kritzer’s book-length adaptation of her Hugo-winning short story “Cat Pictures Please.” It’s an AI caper about cat memes, community, and the anti-enshittification underground:

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/11/19/naomi-kritzers-catfishing-on-the-catnet-an-ai-caper-about-the-true-nature-of-online-friendship/

Speaking of science fiction: I’ve got a new novel out. Red Team Blues is an anti-finance finance thriller, a heist book about cryptocurrency and forensic accounting with a 67-year-old hero, Marty Hench:

http://redteamblues.com/

The book came out last week and I am still in the nailbiting interregnum where its fate is unknowable — will it be another bestseller, or fizzle? Thankfully, the reviews have been stunning. Mitch Wagner calls it “the most exciting technothriller about a 67-year-old accountant you’ll read this year”:

https://mitchw.blog/2023/04/25/warning-cory-doctorows.html

Mitch ruminates some on the distinctive way I’m handling Hench’s aging process in this book and its two (at least sequels). Reading other peoples’ insights into one’s own work is a wild experience. I mean, it’s nice when a reader notices something you worked hard to put in there, and frustrating when a reader imagines something that definitely isn’t there.

But the best thing is when a reader notices something that you didn’t consciously put in there, but which is undeniably there, and also very cool. In his Locus review, Paul DiFilippo homes in on the way that Marty Hench is totally reliant on his friends and comrades to get out of hot water:

https://locusmag.com/2023/04/paul-di-filippo-reviews-red-team-blues-by-cory-doctorow/

Marty is besieged and almost helpless without the aid of friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. He is no go-it-alone superman, but rather an individual tied into a network of humanity, relying on the goodness and altruism of his fellows for survival.

This is so right. Marty is no great man of history — he is part of a polity, a collective of people from all walks of life who try hard to help each other. Call it solidaritypunk. Also, Paul opens his review with “I can’t possibly say enough good things about Cory Doctorow’s new novel.” I mean, who can complain about that?

I was also very gratified by Henry Farrell’s Crookedtimber review, which says some very nice things about the way I work in technical detail, and suggests that this technique is one that all kinds of technical experts, policy wonks and scientists could learn from:

https://crookedtimber.org/2023/04/27/red-team-blues-and-the-as-you-know-bob-problem/

Which makes Matt Green’s review, where the eminent cryptographer digs into the cryptographic technical details of the book, especially delicious. Green is a brilliant scientist and science communicator, and he says I get it right, and do it well:

https://blog.cryptographyengineering.com/2023/04/24/book-review-red-team-blues/

One of the first reviews to hit the web came from Matt Haughey, AKA “Metafilter Matt,” who called it “a ‘ripped from the headlines’ romp”:

https://a.wholelottanothing.org/2023/04/25/red-team-blues-is-a-fun-ripped-from-the-headlines-romp/

Matt’s fellow PDXer and olde timey blogger, Andy Baio, called it “a wild ride”:

https://waxy.org/2023/04/cory-doctorows-red-team-blues-is-out-now/

Andy is my host at tonight’s book signing in PDX, at the Powell’s in Cedar Hills:

https://www.powells.com/book/red-team-blues-martin-hench-1-9781250865847?partnerid=33241

As I type these words, I am sitting in a window-seat on Alaska Air, en route to Portland for that event. I am wearing slip-off shoes, a jacket with pockets of sufficient volume to store my watch, wallet and belt, and socks that I don’t mind exposing to a dirty airport floor. As I shuffled through the TSA checkpoint an hour ago, I found myself looking on the beleaguered “officers” who were patting people down with pity and even a little sympathy.

The TSA is an abomination. A boondoggle that doesn’t make aviation safer, lights billions on fire in lost productivity, wages and capital equipment. Its legion of underpaid, miserable workers invade the privacy and even sexually assault millions of Americans every day, and have been at it for decades without any sign of stopping or even slowing down.

The agency is now 20 years old, and it just keeps getting worse, finding new ways to make America hate it. Reading “The Humiliating History of the TSA,” Darryl Campbell’s giant reckoning in The Verge was a wild ride, and a reminder that while most of us only interact with the TSA’s awful, inexcusable policies a couple times a year, TSA workers live with it every day:

https://www.theverge.com/c/23311333/tsa-history-airport-security-theater-homeland

Before I close, please let us have a moment to acknowledge the passing of Gordon Lightfoot, the Canadian music legend, who has just died at 84. He will be missed:

https://www.joeydevilla.com/2023/05/01/r-i-p-gordon-lightfoot/

All right, it’s time to hit publish on this linkdump, but before I go, a couple of absolutely lovely little webtoys and grace-notes for you to take away:

Womprat (the font you’re looking for) is the world’s greatest Star Wars font collection:

http://womprat.xyz/

And finally, Tumblr, now owned by WordPress parent company Automattic, is striving mightily to reverse decades of enshittification from Yahoo and Verizon. They’re leaving very heavily into listening to their users, paving the desire-paths and putting the community ahead of any other priority.

One place where that is paying unexpected dividends is their deeply weird little merch store, where you can buy up to 24 blue checkmarks to appear on your posts (they sell in pairs at $8). Even better: they’re now selling a 3D printed, light-up, Tumblr-themed Dumpster-Fire:

https://shop.tumblr.com/product/tumblr-dumpster-fire-3d-print/

The dumpster-fire was hoisted from a community member, who made their own, sent it to management, and struck a bargain to sell them through the store. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make sarsaparilla when life gives you SARS.

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Mountain View, Berkeley, Portland, Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

[Image ID: A page of comic book 'small ads.']

#pluralistic #hey look at this #web-log #linky linky #bricolage #linkdump #linkblogging

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