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nikov · 1 year

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I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

everything everywhere all at once (2022) / amigo warfare, eric gamalinda / someone great (2019) / about you, the 1975 / lullabies, lang leav / la la land (2016) / the museum of heartbreak, meg leder / always remember us this way, lady gaga

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vodkacas · 10 years

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inspired by ◑

#shiniigami #swagteam7 #awestiles #mine:words #this was actually okay so i decided to tag you phiaa and abi #bc you two write amazing stuff so what do yo uthink #idk i liked it

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percyfrost · 11 years

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It's the first time Sam gets really sick (it was the flu) and Dean is only ten years old. He isn't sure what's wrong but Sam feels like puking every time he moves and he won't eat. Dean gave it a day, hoping it would pass. But when Sam woke up the next day feeling even worse, Dean called dad right away. "Dad, Sammy's not feeling right." "What do you mean he's not feeling right? What'd you do?" "...I didn't do anything. I mean, he woke up-- dad, come back. He's really warm and he won't eat." John sighs on the other line and Dean can't help but feel like this is all his fault. He didn't take care of Sammy. Because of him, Sam's sick and Dean isn't even sure how or why. "Does he look pale or yellow, anything not normal?" John asked. Dean looked over at Sam, who was sleeping in one of the motel beds. "No, he looks fine." John was quiet and Dean could just picture his brows pulled together, lips pursed. "Alright. I'll send over Pastor Jim to have a look." "--But dad!" "Dean." His voice was loud without having to shout, it was firm, and it was the voice of a soldier, not a father. Dean sat upright, and his lips clamped shut. "I'm in the middle of something. I'll be back as soon as I can." "But dad..." "...Dean. We've been over this. Finding this demon is the most important thing." He paused. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Keep an eye on Sam and listen for that knock I taught you. Dean?" "Yes sir," he said, trying to keep his voice in control. "I'll leave you a message when pastor Jim gets here." "Good kid. I'll call you later to see how he's doing, okay?" "Okay." "G'bye Dean." "Bye, dad." The line went dead and Dean lowered the phone. His eyes stung with tears and he willed himself not to cry. If Sam woke up and saw him, he'd have to explain that dad wasn't coming. He let out a shaky breath and stood up, feeling heavier than he did when he sat down. He moved over to Sam and pushed hair off of his forehead. "It's okay, Sammy. I'm here. I'm gonna take care of ya." He leaned down to kiss his brother's forehead and he pulled the sheets up to his shoulder. Sam shuddered and he burrowed deeper into the sheets. He smiled softly and he moved to lay beside him, running fingers through his hair. Maybe he couldn't keep Sam safe from getting sick, but he'd protect him against everything else.

#castielmilton #desiresthefire #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #mine:words

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lycanthroqueen · 11 years

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"She's my Rushmore." "I know. She was mine, too." Watched this for the first time today, and, oddly, it made me sort of sad. It stuck with me all day to the point where i'm laying here writing about it. Mostly all of Wes Anderson's films stick with me in one way or another, though I feel like Rushmore stuck with me most particularly of all because of the relevance in which I feel it relates to my life. Max Fischer's attitude toward love is very relatable. I can't say for sure whether or not I identify with it, necessarily; as a 15 year old boy he was a bit selfish and off-putting in his fervor. Although I can say I identify with his dedication: as someone deeply emotional and violently compassionate, I feel things intensely, of both extremes in the gamut of what is tangible emotion to me. That being said, i'm often shy with my love and affection, safe-guarding it and sometimes unintentionally alienating the person on the receiving end. Which, in some ways, Max ends up doing in one way or another. That quote though, that scene between him and Bill Murray's character, stuck with me. I found myself repeating it over and over on a loop, like a broken record, trying to find meaning for it and what it meant to me. And, like most things, it came to me all at once: it's a declaration. In the movie, that's clearly what it is: Bill Murray's character is trying to tell him that he's in love with the teacher and, in that, is an apology, somehow. And in order to try and make Max understand, he tells him she's his Rushmore. He loves her; and Max loves Rushmore, and this is the way he communicates his feelings to Max. And I understand it. "She's my Rushmore" makes so much sense to me. What I feel is so powerful, too big for words; there's no sentence structure strong enough to hold the weight of what I feel and, in those 3 simple words, I found a way to put a face on those feelings without actually trying to define them to a T. They are muddled and messy and confusing, but there's no one name for them. But, now, there is something I can say that stands as a viable deceleration if I ever so needed one, one that encompasses all the far reaches of my feelings without stamping any one label on it, because to Max, Rushmore was a million things, love being just one component. And so I've come to the conclusion that Rushmore isn't any one place, isn't any one feeling, it is all of it at once: the love, the guilt, the anger, the flutter of a nervous heartbeat. And you, you're it. You're my Rushmore. "At least nobody got hurt." "Except you." "Naw, I didn't get hurt too bad."

#mine:words #just thinking

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nikov · 1 year

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if equal affection cannot be, LET THE MORE LOVING ONE BE ME.

tolkien (2019) / crush, richard siken / the holiday (2006) / the song of achilles, madeline miller / because i liked you, a.e. housman / the secret history, donna tartt / the more loving one, w. h. auden

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nikov · 2 years

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IT’S OKAY, IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE US. and, if you need me to leave, that’s okay too.

if i stay, gayle forman / if i go, i'm goin, gregory alan isakov / door, i don’t know how but they found me / the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, taylor jenkins reid / blue bucket of gold, sufjan stevens / ‘tis the damn season, taylor swift / july, noah cyrus / please never fall in love again, ollie mn

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nikov · 2 years

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FORGIVE ME, FOR MY SELF DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES

the book of tomorrow, cecelia ahern / all alright, fun. / nitya prakash / this is me trying, taylor swift / electra, sophocles / comfort crowd, conan gray / dream on, kate lattey / the other side of the door, taylor swift / me before you, jojo moyes / talk me down, troye sivan / the sea, the sea, iris murdoch / hardest to love, the weeknd / headstart, ritt momney / good will hunting (1997) / sorry, halsey

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nikov · 2 years

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THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

it's not summer without you, jenny han / kingdom without borders, miriam adeney / the catcher in the rye, j.d. salinger / before i fall, lauren oliver / the last little blue envelope, maureen johnson / night train to lisbon, pascal mercier / my tears ricochet, taylor swift / flipped, wendelin van draanen / lewis carroll / men without women, haruki murakami

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nikov · 2 years

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violent tendencies

shatter me, tahereh mafi / little women (2019), greta gerwig / red queen, victoria aveyard / the hunger games, suzanne collins / uprooted, naomi novik / an ember in the ashes series, sabaa tahir / anna dressed in blood, kendare blake / champion, marie lu

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nikov · 2 years

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THE ART OF RUNNING AWAY

after dark, haruki murakami / if i go, i'm going, gregory alan isakov / breakfast at tiffany's and three stories, truman capote / pines, men i trust / rita hayworth and shawshank redemption, stephen king / breakfast at tiffany's, truman capote / rocketman, elton john / oregon, wabie / because of winn-dixie, kate dicamillo / half the world way, oasis