#me: I'm lonely | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rimouskis · 2 years

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I'm very sick of having to learn the same lessons! this could be avoided if I just: actually accepted the lesson the first time it hits me. but no, I am doomed to being confronted with a truism, disliking it, and then being haunted by it like an annoying poltergeist until I begrudgingly accept it 1-to-10 years later

#this is the running joke in my life #anyways the current lesson I'm trying to force myself to actually internalize is: living your life wildly and going everywhere and #traveling and being unconventional by your family/blueprint's standards is not only perhaps how I was meant to live #but it also may in fact be the ONLY way I can live #and even though it sounds exciting and I'm game I somehow still end up backing myself into psychological corners like I'm not allowed to/#supposed to live like that. why!? I know not.#me: having friends across the world and spending your 20s traveling and living whimsically sounds sick as hell. and also fun.#somehow also me: oh no but what about the spouse that i don't want and the kids i even more certainly don't want and the stability that #my generation literally can't afford 9 times out of 10 #???? make it make sense #me: I'm lonely #me: okay then go travel and meet and see people and go live a little wildly #me: ...#me: wait I must be doing something wrong. this is too unconventional.#idk maybe something's up with me or maybe I just have anxiety. TBD.#also maybe I'm sick of not having role models! I've never been the kind of kid who had a role model to look up to #like as a personality trait of mine #but damn I literally don't have any peers doing what I'm doing rn and it's a little isolating!

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i-ate-the-rats · 9 months

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hehehehe oh shit indefinite sad dark shadow (⊙ˍ⊙).

#tbh i don't understand what i'm doin here.#come up with a context instead of me i am an out-of-context genius the pinnacle of understatement the king of idiots.#like i'm a little tolerably uh uh wow werrry much uh unreasonably violent and lonely DRUNK.#let's imagine that from the pies you can find something other than visually propagating information noise.#da? da.#noirpunk #punknoir #hobie brown #peter benjamin parker #spider punk #spider noir #across the spiderverse #atsv hobie #itsv noir #spider man: across the spider verse #atsv

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neonbuck · 5 months

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you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.

#.txt #i didnt always know this and i dont pretend i did.#i'm just glad i've learned it now at least #i went straight from a cult-like group into tumblrs 'its ok to kick any one out of your life for any reason' environment in my early 20s #it made my life turbulent lonely and miserable #thinking on the older adults who should have known better leading sheltered young queer people astray back then makes me feel so bitter.

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teatitty · 3 months

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It's way funnier to me to imagine that Geralt is the one who desperately wants Dandelion to winter at Kaer Morhen with him but Dandelion keeps saying no on the simple grounds that it's too fucking cold and do you want me to die Geralt? Do you want me to get hypothermia and fucking die?

And Geralt's like "please I am begging on my knees I will cuddle you every night to keep you warm I just need to prove you actually exist"

#the witcher books #dandelion #geralt of rivia #gerlion #you know those romcom plots that are like 'I told my fam I have a bf and now they want to meet him so pls pretend to date me'?#this is like that except the reverse #geralt tells his fam he has a bestie who's a bard that cuddles with him at night and they all just #don't believe him bc it sounds so ridiculous #'it's okay to say you're just lonely geralt you don't need to Invent A Guy to convince us you're not'#'I DIDN'T INVENT A GUY HE'S REAL I PROMISE STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A PATHETIC WET DOG'

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adustoflove · 4 months

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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

#bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd splitting #lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too #haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days #irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really #I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection #like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person #then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually

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somnimagus · 9 months

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My page for @destinytriofanzine! I drew something about kids always dreaming of far off places

[id in alt!]

#kingdom hearts #kh #ahh this one was so hard to draw; i never know how to combine a bunch of scenes in one picture without it looking cheesy #just threw a bunch of waves and leaves and birds on top and called it a day haha. it might be a bit too busy though #the white line going up the center is supposed to be a trail left behind by the gummi ship! it connects to the ship in the bg at the top #it's kinda meant to evoke little kids dreaming of other places-> getting older and earnestly making the raft to try to reach the dream #->the gummi ship as a premonition of how they'd actually reach the dream in the future. i guess? idk how to explain #and i really wanted to have kairi's expressions be really similar but changing subtly from wonder to worry when she's older #the boys are just max enthusiasm the whole time #but yeah. something something Symbolism and hopefully it's at least kinda pretty if it doesn't make sense #i'm just super proud to have been part of this project! everyone's work is just amazing #the destiny kids give me this soft feeling of kinda lonely nostalgia. it's nice to have a book full of that #very wistful looking through it #fan art #my art #project stuff

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kimdokjas · 2 months

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what if we made ice ado the new goncharov

#yeah yeah ice ado we've all seen it #yk that scene where a lonely young victor stares out into the ocean in st petersburg and is mirrored by the shot of young yuuri in hasetsu #made me sob in the theater haha what an experience #i'm joking ofc the show already has everything i need :')#but it's nice to dream about the what ifs #yuri on ice #ice adolescence #yoi #gabby speaks

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agir1ukn0w · 19 days

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ok did NOT expect s3 to be speaking directly to my deepest darkest soul but here we are

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rashyford · 23 days

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#roman reigns #seth rollins #romanreignsedit #wweedit #wwe raw #wwe gifs #mine**#**#your honour i miss them and i demand something be done about this #roman i'm used to disappearing on me but seth?????#raw is so lonely without him

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s4ndg3m · 19 days

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hear me out on scag x split guys. they both start with "s" it's practically canon.

#labyposting #yes i know split x bive but guys we have other women for the both of them. let's explore!!!#don't bully me on my wheelchair drawing skills i have both never drawn one and also attempted a mashup for it so. no real accurate refs #i also couldn't think of how to attach the claw prosthetic to scag's arm so we got tha arm warmerrrrrrrrrrrrr.#probs will change it at some point cus i don't like it. sigh. more references and studies.#not enough time for that now though i must create lesbians #futch4butch my beloved...#they would be so awesome together guys do you have any idea. DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW??!???!?!??!#someone ask me about them i want to think about their relationship more but im stuggling with ideas. of what to think.#somebody else ship this with me also. i need a friend in these lonely and trying times #cleft lip gamer electric wheelchair butch nonbinary lesbian IT worker and shop owner scag for the win #oh my gooddddd someone PLEAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #my newest freshest brainrot born straight out of my mind. i'm not going to stop thinking about this.#i want what they have.#ok now i will actually put tags #soz guys i got a little carried away #labyart #my art #regretevator #regretevator roblox #roblox regretevator #regretevator fanart #regretevator art #roblox #roblox art #roblox fanart #fanart #regretevator split #split regretevator #split

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melverie · 1 year

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currently thinking about Satan in nightbringer vs in the original

thinking about how in nightbringer he's always outside HoL when he wants to be alone since the others are always in the library + they keep chaining him to his bed, so he most likely doesn't feel safe in his own room to begin with

how Asmo keeps trying to invade his personal space (asking to do his hair, nails etc.) and doesn't take the hint, and how Lucifer casted a spell on Satan so he physically could not leave his side for a while, and how he's never really allowed the time to properly work through his emotions

that dinner party where the others all started talking about the Celestial Realm until Satan eventually stormed off

the way he describes being in their presence as torture and refuses to see them as his brothers, yet he's instantly calm around MC because they treat him decently

how the others kept complaining over how the demons of the Devildom were treating them-how they were discriminated against because they're fallen angels-yet they keep on treating Satan, the only full-fledged demon of HoL, like some feral animal that has to be put down in two days

currently thinking about how the very first thing we learn about Satan in the original is that he masks his emotions

him saying that he loves to go on walks alone and how he gets to meet all kinds of different people that way

thinking about how he's usually in the library instead of his room

when they were all up in the human world and the other brothers were outside stargazing, meanwhile Satan stayed inside. And when asked about it by Lucifer, he claimed it was because he wanted to read before offhandedly mentioning that they're reminiscing about the Celestial Realm and he won't understand any of it anyway

he now gets along better with all of his brothers and yet, when the two of them got lost once, he told MC that there's no need to worry, because his brothers would come looking for them, making it a point to add that they wouldn't search for him

that time Satan ran away to the human world and Levi, Asmo (arguably the two brothers closest to him) and MC came to bring him back. How he started getting angry at one of their questions, so they opted for running away instead of even attempting to comfort him in any way

how his first response after Lucifer told him to leave HoL was to actually pack his things; how he was fully intent on leaving, and how when MC comes to check on him, he instantly tells them that his brothers would never stop him from leaving, that they think it's funny

the way he seemed genuienly surprised when MC accepted after he asked them out to the dance, and then admitting he actually thought that they wouldn't want to go with him

MC being his main source for comfort, and Satan even calling them his sanctuary. How before MC it was books and cats; his room being filled to the brim with books, to the point it's become a safety hazard, and him always carrying cat treats with him

currently thinking about how Satan's first instict whenever he gets angry is to isolate himself, if possible even lock himself up in his room for days on end and how his brothers don't seem to pay it much attention (Levi once said that they already had a shut-in, they don't need another one). And how he doesn't even necessarily need to give into his wrath, how simply getting worked up over something someone else said is enough for him to isolate himself

also thinking about the whole idea of 'you become the person that would have saved you when you were younger' and how Satan in the og game is literally so full of love and very kind, patient and compassionate when given the chance to fully be himself

#you can also tell from some of his dialog in both games that he's just incredibly lonely #i just wanna hug him for eternity and tell him that everything will be okay :(#but fr the others literally keep chaining him up and then ask themselves why his behavior seems to be getting worse #hMm I wOnDeR wHy #also i'm not 100% sure about him avoiding his room in the og game #but every scene I can think of where he WAS actually in his room was because he needed something from there #anyway i'm probably misremembering some things I mentioned #obey me #obey me satan #;mel's analyses #mel's starry musings

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revvethasmythh · 1 month

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I do have to say, despite their backgrounds placing them somewhat at odds with each other narratively, Imogen and Orym's friendship has managed to be so tender and meaningful, more so because of the previous and potential for further conflict. It actually kind of reminds me of the bond between Caleb and Beau sometimes--less sibling-like, perhaps, but there's the sense of willingness tussle with each other and their respective perspectives and also this coming together with real respect and admiration and hope and pride for each other. Imogen is the one Orym gave a bear hug to. Orym thinks she could make a great leader. It's Imogen who comforts Orym when he's at his lowest. It's a very tender and special friendship and I'm glad that we have it

#i'm back to my original purpose in reading through some transcripts and this just hit me #she offered if there was anything they could to make him feel less lonely after the feywild stuff it was like 🥺 actually #critical role #imogen temult #orym #bells hells

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aurabirds · 24 days

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