adustoflove

[adustoflove]

my love language is ignoring your messages for three days

[adustoflove]

Like I'm actually so pissed right now. Like so angry the usual speech I give myself where it doesn't have to be a bad day, you don't have to have a bad feeling or attitude until something actually bad happens is not fucking working I'm so ready to cuss someone out.

Sometimes I literally wake up so pissed at the world I contemplate blocking literally everyone I know because I just start to hate everything and everyone for no reason 💀 is it a bpd thing to just wake up and hate everyone suddenly or is that like. A Terrible Person thing

#if literally anyone today walks up to me and asks why I haven't done something yet I'm just gonna stare at them #start lookint around the kennel and say its almost like there are more fucking dogs than employees in this establishment #and there are let me see 0 people helping me right now . take a WILD. FUCKING. GUESS. #my manager texted me at 9 pm yesterday to ask if i fed her dog #i felt like saying you're lucky i gave him water too #literally so insulting to be asked if i fed a dog tbh like I know what the bare minimum of care is #walk feed water if its anything I do it is that 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[adustoflove]

Sometimes I literally wake up so pissed at the world I contemplate blocking literally everyone I know because I just start to hate everything and everyone for no reason 💀 is it a bpd thing to just wake up and hate everyone suddenly or is that like. A Terrible Person thing

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd vent #actually borderline #personal

[adustoflove]

I don't wanna be needy and clingy and annoying and desperate however I am afraid that is my default state no matter what.

[adustoflove]

bpd&adhd culture is always feeling like you’re either too much or not enough so you do everything to not feel like it and you end up balancing between obsessive and not giving a fuck

[adustoflove]

My mom called my grandpa to check in on him and I just wanted to talk to her about work so he handed me the phone and she was SO DRUNK but I still told her all about the horrors

#personal

[adustoflove]

bpd culture is why am i like this?????? why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why a m i like thsi why am i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like thtos why am i like this whhy an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like tiis why am i like this why am i liem thsi why an i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why am i like this why am i likw this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i liek this why am i like this why ak i like this why am i like this why am i like this

[adustoflove]

shmorderline shmersonality shmisorder

[adustoflove]

I'm worthless. I'm unlovable. I'm a burden. I'm a problem. I doubt I'll ever recover. I just don't want to be alive and in pain anymore.

[adustoflove]

Pearl (2022)

[adustoflove]

BPD is fucking wild why am i preparing myself to be immediately abandoned over not wanting to watch a tv show

[adustoflove]

“communication is key” i say, as i ghost all the people i care about because i cannot express my feelings due to trauma

[adustoflove]

the BPD urge to push a new friend away and destroy the friendship so they can't hurt you first

[adustoflove]

Up all night, still hoping it'll be me. Still waiting for it to be me. Still wishing for it to be me. Wanting it to be me. Yearning for it to be me. Begging for it to be me.

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd vent #actually borderline #personal #vent #actually cptsd #cptsd

[adustoflove]

Alright breakdown over its 7 pm if I continue sobbing about things it'll be time to go back to work before I even know it

#personal

[adustoflove]

I'm actually going to kill myself one day and it's well yeah I see why being EUTHANIZED when you have bpd is legal in some countries and states this disorder will literally eat you alive. Like it chews me up then spits me back up for a second to crawl away and as I'm doing so it taunts and smirks at me the entire time, before chewing me back up to remind me I'm about as worthless as tasteless gum

#personal #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd

[adustoflove]

what's it LIKE to be so confident and happy and sure of yourself? Were yall never humbled by your parents 😭😭😭😭💀💀💀 was IT JUST ME???

#personal