#maybe like a month? hard to say bc I took breaks

[ink-the-artist]

THE WIZARD CLOAK COAT IS FINALLY FINISHED!!!!

#it’s white wool needle felted onto a felt coat #this took so LONG #maybe like a month? hard to say bc I took breaks #art #felting #needle felting #fiber art

[norrizzandpia]

Hello I hope you’re doing well🥰

I was wondering if you could give us something super fluffy where fem reader is driving lando to the airport and he keeps telling her to focus on the road as he didn’t notice she’s trying to hold her tears bec of how much she’ll miss him. then he comforts her and gives her a big bear hug before he leaves.

Thanks in advance!!!

Plz bc this is so cute omfg

I’m Sorry To Go (LN4)

Summary: She’s not quite ready to have him leave just yet.

Warnings: arguably the cutest thing ive ever written

Y/n took a deep breath in the bathroom as she prepared to drive her boyfriend to the airport. Knowing he would be gone for a month, her emotions ran wild. He had been home for the past few weeks for summer break, time she cherished immensely as they never got truly uninterrupted time together, and, now, he was packing up his bags to leave her once more. It felt as if time had gone faster over their quiet time and she was left to watch it pass by, arriving painfully at the stop where he got off.

Nonetheless, she knew she had to be strong for him, understanding if she broke down he would too and that would be detrimental for the both of them. So, she cleaned her face up, residual tears and slightly smeared makeup being wiped away, and walked out of the small room.

There she found Lando, with his suitcase in hand, waiting by the door. The sight almost had her in a fit of more tears, but she swallowed them begrudgingly.

“Ready to go?” He asked, smiling at her as if this wasn’t heartbreaking.

Her silent nod and quick movement around him to walk through the door had his eyebrows quirk up. She had been quiet all morning, something that was unusual for the girl he loved. He didn’t want to push it, force her over the edge when it was clear something was bothering her, but he didn’t want to leave her like this.

However, he didn’t want to leave her at all.

Though, as sickening as it was, he forced himself to get in the car and pull up directions to the airport he was flying out of. Her knuckles gripped the steering wheel tightly as he started to make light conversation and the GPS spouted off upcoming turns she had to take.

“What do you think you’ll for the rest of the day, baby?” He asked, his hand on her thigh as he looked out the window.

The longest beat of silence filled the air as she tried to rid her throat of all tears or signs of her dismay. Clearing her throat subtly, she quivered, “I don’t know, maybe stay in and order food.”

He chuckled, “My love, we have food at the house. We just went to the store yesterday.”

Another prolonged quiet went by before Y/n’s voice broke as she whispered, “I don’t feel like cooking.”

His head whipped around at the sound of her broken words and the sight of her crying in the driver’s seat made his heart clench. Tears silently streamed down her face as she glanced down at the directions, trying so hard to get him to where he needed to be on time.

“Y/n…” Lando whispered before running his thumb over her thigh and coaxing, “Pull over, baby.”

Her eyes refused to look at him as she put on her blinker and changed lanes as to veer off toward the side of the road. When she reached it and parked, Lando’s hand came up to gently move her arms off the steering wheel. He leaned over the center console and pulled her into him, his arms circling her body in a protective manner.

He kissed the side of her head as she began to cry into his shoulder, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered, “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled before brokenly saying, “I don’t want you to leave.”

His eyes watered at her statement, hands abruptly stopping on her back before resuming once it sunk in.

He squeezed her tightly, kissing her again, “I don’t want to leave either.”

Her response was immediate, “Then don’t.”

He laughed lightly, pulling her head back slightly so he could cradle her face in his hands, “You know I have to, love. Trust me, this hurts as much as it does you, but it will go by fast and then I’ll be right back here with you.”

She shook her head, fresh tears falling down her face, “But, it won’t. It won’t go by fast, Lan. Things don’t go by fast when you’re not there.”

He nodded in understanding, kissing her forehead and nose before responding, “Well, it will end eventually and then I’ll be here with you. Baby, the time will pass and I will come back to you. I always will.”

She nodded gently, looking up at him once his words really hit her, “You’ll always come back to me?”

He smiled and kissed her on the lips with newfound adoration and love, “I promise I always will.”

And as they sat together in the small car on the side of the road, wrapped up in the other as forever promises were made, Y/n knew she would hold onto that promised until he proposed.

Which was two years later.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x reader #mclaren #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris fic #lando norris x you #lando norris edit #lando norris #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris smut

[mt-oe]

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐭. 𝟐—modern mizu x reader

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dears!

Thank you so much for appreciating my fics. I honestly didn't expect to receive requests for a part 2 and ya'll are making me melt aaaaaa <3

Link for the first part? Mwa!

I hope you'll enjoy this one too!

Enjoy, love! Mwa mwa :*

warnings: not proofread, smut (mdni!), very mild violence, alcohol, misgendering (bc mizu appears masculine), she/her for mizu and implied afab reader

I don't really know if she knows or not But I left some things in her jewelry box And she's wearing out my rings Taking the compliments meant for me

"Damn...I look like absolute shit."

You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself after waking up from a post-cry nap. Your eyelids were very puffy and your lips chapped despite being slightly swollen. The eyes that were once filled with life were like empty pits, holding no emotion.

It had been a few days since you've retrieved your items from Mizu's apartment. Thankfully, your friend had a spare room in hers and allowed you to stay for a few months until you were ready to be on your own again. If it weren't for your friends, you'd probably have a hell of a time trying to recover from your break up.

Well, you were still struggling but at least it's a start.

That wasn't to say that the moving out process was any easier though. Seeing Mizu's frown when she opened the door made you want to pull her down and kiss her until the corners of her lips turned upward. But you couldn't, your relationship wasn't like before anymore.

Her eyes watched you as you carefully removed the trinkets you had placed on her shelf. The little neon characters and toy babies were now in a cardboard box as if the two of you didn't joke around about them being your 'babies'. Your clothes were already in separate box. The goofy t-shirts she had given you as a way to make you laugh were taped shut.

"Are you really going to take everything home?" she sighed out, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. The frown on her face never left and her eyes remained as aloof as ever.

You glanced at her briefly before turning your attention back to her shelf. Fingers running across the wood, past her jewelry box, trying to remember if you had left anything else. "Don't talk to me."

Mizu rolled her eyes at your cold response. It was understandable, but that doesn't mean it didn't annoy or hurt her in any way. She pushed herself off of the wall lightly before walking off to the kitchen. The feeling of you being this cold was not something she could bear at the moment.

As she left, your fingers traced back to her jewelry box and opened it. The earrings, rings, and necklaces you always wore were still there. Your throat tightened at the sight, remembering how you had bantered with Mizu for being so 'unfashionable'.

Before you, she had only worn plain silver bands around her fingers, saying that 'she didn't need anymore than that' and 'they're just rings, no need to be special'. But of course, you knew her long, slender, yet rough hands were too beautiful for the bare minimum.

It took a while to convince her, mainly because she secretly liked seeing you try so hard for her, but you finally got her to try out your rings. The feeling of having more accessories on her hand was odd to her and there were definitely times the accessories got snagged on her hair, clothes, and other things. However, the feeling of having a bit of you with her comforted her. It was adorable honestly. You even ended up leaving the rings she often borrowed from in her jewelry box.

And now, you were staring at the same rings placed snugly in the velvet-y confines of the jewelry box. A sigh escaped your lips as you took your earrings and necklaces back, but for some reason, you really couldn't bring yourself to take your rings back. A small tug in your heart felt that maybe she'd wear them and remember you.

"It is what it is," you mumbled, trudging back to your room. Your room looked like a shit storm. Clothes were strewn haphazardly across the floor, the trinkets you once displayed on Mizu's shelf were now scattered on random surfaces, and the books you bought but never read were...well they were still rotting on a random corner.

As you were about to lay down, your friend knocked on your door before opening it. The sight of you merely rotting in bed made her eyebrows furrow but it quickly disappeared as she walked in. "Want to drink somewhere?" She leaned sideways against the wall, cross her leg over the other.

You were about to refuse but the image of your exhausted self and the aching loneliness bothered your mind. Nodding at her, you stood up again. As if silently communicating with you, she gave you a relieved smile before leaving the room to give you some space to get ready.

Once the two of you had arrived to the club, you immediately sat down, waiting for your drinks to arrive. The music was blaring through the speakers and the smell of sweat, alcohol, and the mix of people's perfume lingered around. You were usually up for some partying but the ache of your heartbreak drained you this time around.

As your drinks arrived, you poured yourself a shot, not even bothering to wait for your friend. She was probably already dancing with someone somewhere. Your eyes scanned the crowd, people-watching as you downed the shot, the burn of the alcohol making you cough a bit.

Some how, it was peaceful for you despite the dancing, hollering, and even the strangers making out with who ever. Even your friend's return to the table, clearly having stolen a bottle of beer from another table, didn't bother you. Maybe you were finally attaining peace for the first time in a while. Maybe all you really needed was some alcohol to forget about Mi—

"Hey, isn't that Akemi?" Your friend asked, pointing at the sofa near the center.

What the fuck?

And although I think I'll miss them At least there's proof of my existence A captive little soldier on her fingers Deep behind enemy lines

You almost spit your second shot out, the alcohol almost traveling to your nose, making you retch over as you coughed in attempt to get the liquid back to your mouth again. Your watery eyes scanned over the crowd once again until you finally saw her. It really was Akemi. If she was here, Mizu was bound to be here too, right?

Panic with a bit of anticipation settled in you as your eyes tried to find your ex.

No. She wasn't here.

A sigh of disappointment escaped your lips upon sitting down.

Wait. Disappointment?

The hell?

"I-I'm going to dance for a moment," you told your friend. There was no way you're disappointed in Mizu's absence. You were going to find another way to move on.

As you made your way through the crowd, dancing and mingling with others while you sipped on your beer, a woman approached you and began flirting. The interaction made you feel awkward at first. A mix of panic, intoxication from the alcohol, and slight flattery was boiling inside you.

The woman flirting with you invited you to their table, to which you agreed. She introduced her friends to you, sharing drinks and stories. Some time later as you were interacting with them, she had slung an arm around you and pulled you close. It wasn't a touch that you were particularly comfortable with, but another shot with a Heineken as a chaser fixed that.

While you continued to interact with them, you noticed the lady's eyes staring at someone through the crowd. "His rings look expensive," she told you, pointing towards someone. Your eyes looked at where she was pointing at and widened.

Fuck it was Mizu.

And she was with someone else too. The woman she was with continued to play with the rings on her hand as they sat down, giggling and talking to her. They looked so happy and your ex looks like she had moved on. You continued to stare, not believing the sight, until your eyes met. You quickly sat back down, trying to calm yourself down.

Your vision was blurring either from the tears or from the alcohol or maybe both. The music ringing in your head as it continued to boom throughout the venue.

The lady you were with looked at you with concern before leaning closer to your ear. "Let's take this somewhere else," she whispered, giving you a smile. You nodded and stood up with her, making your way outside onto an alley beside the establishment.

I still have your lighter I still have your book I still have everything you brought, but you never took

The lady watched as you took out a cigarette, placing it between your lips before you began rummaging through your bag for a lighter. "You don't seem like the type to smoke," she joked in an attempt to ease your mood.

She was right. You weren't the type to smoke. In fact, you only started after your break up. The same night, you bought a carton of Marlboro Blue because you saw Mizu smoking it when she was still just your hallway crush. The image of her leaning against her motor bike, smoking while smiling lightly at the sight of her friends bantering was one that never left your mind.

"I learned from someone." You lit the cigarette with the lighter you had found in your purse before inspecting it. Your eyes widened as you realized that it was Mizu's lighter, making you choke on the smoke.

"It's him, right? The tall dude with the nice rings? The one with the blue eyes." The lady patted your back as you continued to cough, frowning when you nodded. She watched you smoke for a moment before moving closer towards you.

Your eyes looked...Bothered. Like you wanted to go back in there and thrash the table, to ask Mizu who the fuck she was with.

The turmoil in you continued to brew, rising and rising until it was almost overflowing. The image of Mizu with another woman burned into your memory. You wanted to storm in, to make a mess, to ask her how was she able to move on so fast while you...

You were still collecting the pieces of yourself that had fallen apart.

In midst of your thoughts, the woman you were with had grabbed you by the shoulders and pinned you against the wall. "Let me teach you something better." She placed a chaste kiss on your lips before lifting your shirt, placing a trail of kisses from under your bra until she was kneeling down, face-to-face with the button of your jeans, looking up at you.

You sighed, a cloud of smoke escaping your lips before you took another puff from your cigarette. This felt wrong. The idea of hooking up with someone while you were still in love with your ex felt wrong.

"I...I can't do this.." You lightly grabbed her by the chin, moving your hips away from her. A look of confusion flashed on her face before she moved slightly closer. "Oh c'mon, just on–"

"She said back off," a voice cut her off.

You know where to find me And I know where to look

Before you could even utter a word, a ringed hand had pulled the woman away from you, prompting her to stand up. Deep blue eyes narrowed at her before roughly letting go of the woman's shirt.

"Now get lost."

The woman glared at Mizu, seemingly sizing her up for a fight. But Mizu was tall, well-built, and quite intimidating. Everything you wanted in a person, but clearly not someone you'd want to fight.

A 'tsk' left the woman's lips before she raised a middle finger, storming off. Mizu then turned to you, raising an eyebrow at the cigarette between your fingers. "I thought you didn't smoke?" she scoffed, eyes narrowing at you. " ...And blues? Really?"

You merely stared at her, unable to form a word. Maybe it was the alcohol or the nicotine making your brain lag but there was only one thing running through your mind: She was here. She was with you. She pushed a woman away from you. She was questioning why you were smoking. She..She..She...

Shit.

She was here. In front of you.

Mizu's eyes narrowed further at your lack of response. "What?" She moved closer to you, towering over you. The distance between the two of you was so small, it was like she was suffocating you against the wall.

"Why are you here?" you asked trying to keep yourself calm, breathing the smoke out through your nose. She glanced away for a moment, looking a bit guilty before turning back to you. "I...Akemi told me she saw you here."

Your eyes widened in surprise. You expected her to be with Akemi, but you didn't expect her to come just because Akemi told her you were here. "And that matters why?" you asked, eyes now narrowing.

She sighed and moved away a bit, more of the guilt appearing on her face. "I wanted to see you."

The beating of your heart increased as you looked at her. She wanted to see you? Why? You dropped the cigarette you were smoking before stepping on it, grinding the heel of your foot on it more than you needed before looking up at her. "You're joking," you said in a serious tone, looking intensely at her.

"I'm not I–" She was quickly cut off with you giving her a shove. "I saw you with that woman. I'm not stupid, Mizu."

She looked at you for a moment, clearly puzzled which made the rage in you boil much more. "The woman you were with. The one play with your rings. My rings." You clenched fist as you shoved her once more, glaring at her.

Your eyes started tearing up and you began smacking her arm, a mix of your emotions and alcohol making you lose all inhibitions. "You have no idea how much pain I've been in because of you! All I wanted was for you to be there for me and you fucking left me!" she yelled, your careless smacking progressively getting more forceful.

"Then, when I'm finally trying to find some fucking peace for myself, you waltz in with some woman and act all chummy chummy buddy buddy in front of me?! And now you expect me to fucking talk to you and welcome you back?! I'm not a fucking idiot, you motherfucking bi–" She cut you off by placing you in a loose headlock and shoving a hand over your mouth, glaring at you.

"You mean Kaji's daughter," she stated calmly, letting you go once you stopped thrashing around, clearly confused. "Oh for fuck's sake–Akemi's friend. She asked me to pick her up as payment for telling me where you are." she groaned, rubbing an annoyed hand across her face.

Oh.

You still glared at her before looking away, shoulders slumping. "Well why didn't you say so earlier?" you asked, frowning at her. She looked at you with mild annoyance, wanting to argue that you were too busy smacking the shit out of her arm, before suddenly chuckling. The annoyance melting into fondness and amusement, Damn, she missed you like this.

Her arms gently wrapped around you, pulling you closer as she buried her nose against your hair. "I miss you," she mumbled, closing her eyes. You couldn't help but freeze before finally softening up and sobbing, leaning closer to her. "Why'd you leave me?" you sobbed softly against her shoulder.

Her throat tightened at the sound of your crying and sniffling. Making you cry was the last thing ever wanted to do. "I was wrong. I thought we both needed a break from each other but I...I ended up missing you," she sighed out, holding you tighter. "I guess I took you for granted and I'm regretting it so much. I'll do anything to get you back." A hand wiped your tears away before lifting your chin up. "I'm sorry.."

You looked at her, gulping the lump in your throat. The apology was so silly to you. Mizu apologizing to you in such a horribly put together yet sincere way was not something you expected to see and it amused you. "Just kiss me, you fool." you giggled before pulling her head down and planting your lips together.

She kissed you back almost immediately, placing a hand behind your head and the other on the small of your back, pulling you closer than ever. It felt so good to be held like this again. To have Mizu in your arms and you in her's. The kiss deepened as your tongues explored each other's mouth before pulling away, a thin line of saliva connecting your lips.

Without another word, you knelt down in front of her, hands clumsily unzipping her pants. "W-Wait." She pushed your head back gently, covering the lower half of her face with her hand to cover her blush. "What's wrong?" you asked, looking up at her.

"I don't think I deserve to be treated like this right now especially after what–" You cut her off by continuing to undo her pants and pulling it down along with her panties slightly. Your nose buried itself against her bush, making both of you groan, her's slightly louder.

Using your thumb, you spread her folds open before sticking out your tongue and giving her cunt a long slow lick, relishing the moan that came from her. Despite being such a quiet person, Mizu really was loud when it came to intimacy.

The hand she previously used to push your head away was now gripping your hair, encouraging you but not pushing you. You began licking her clit slowly, drawing circles with the tip of your tongue and flicking it occasionally. Your other hand gathered the wetness that slowly dripping out of her, using it to coat your fingers before slowly pushing it in her hole.

Her grip on your hair tightened as her face scrunched up in pleasure, moaning loudly as she leaned back against the wall. You curled your fingers inside her, massaging that area you knew made her see stars. "Fuck, dove...y-you're so fucking good at this," she moaned out, bucking her hips closer to you.

You smiled against her cunt before giving her another long and slow lick, sucking the bundle of nerves towards the end. Your eyes looked up at her as your tongue began licking her clit faster. She was panting and moaning loudly, blue eyes half-lidded, and a dust of pink covering her cheeks.

"'m so close...holy shit," she moaned almost desperately, hand now pushing you closer. With her head tossed back slightly, she climaxed onto your fingers, letting our a loud choked back moan against the back of her hand.

She panted for a bit before looking at you as you pulled your fingers out slowly. You stared back at her, gazing into her blue eyes as you licked the cum off of your fingers slowly, sucking on it before releasing it with a wet pop. "Good girl..." she panted out before pushing herself off of the wall and pulling her pants up.

As soon as you stood up, she looked at you with a soft gaze before pulling you closer to give you a soft kiss on the forehead. "I guess...we're back together now?" you asked, intertwining your hand with hers, walking out of the alley together. "'m kinda glad you took me away from that woman earlier though," you laughed.

"Kinda feels like thievin' or stealing," you added. An amused grunt left Mizu's throat before she placed a short sweet kiss on your lips.

"Just felt like taking what's not mine," she mumbled against your lips.

That's thievin', stealin', takin' what's not yours

#bes mizu x reader #bes mizu #bes x reader #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu x you #mizu #mizu imagine #mizu x reader #Spotify

[auras-moonstone]

say don’t go — ethan landry

word count: 3.2k

pairing: hockey player!ethan landry x fem!reader

based on: say don’t go by taylor swift

summary: ethan has to move to another state to play for his dream hockey team so he decides to break up with his girlfriend, leaving her heartbroken

warnings: angst. break-up. fluff.

author’s note: hiii! long fic bc of my absence:) LOVE writing about hockey player ethan 😫 by the way, i saw retribution the other day, i actually really liked it. it wasn’t as bad as people painted it.

Y/N AND ETHAN HAD BEEN DATING FOR ALMOST A YEAR, which meant that they knew each other like the back of their hands, hence why Y/N had the intuition that his boyfriend was planning on breaking up with her.

The distance started when Ethan was signed off to the Chicago Blackhawks. As soon as he finished college, he would move to Illinois and Y/N didn’t know where she would fit in his new life, if she would even fit. He hadn’t talked about it with her, he barely even mentioned hockey around her anymore. And she just knew—she would soon stop being part of his life and it was a matter of time until Ethan sat her down and tell her.

The waiting was sadness, and as the days flew by it was slowly driving her into madness. And then she finally got the text from him, asking her to go to his house. She drove there with a heavy heart, knowing it was going to be the last time she passed those streets.

Meanwhile, Ethan was pacing around his living room with a tight chest and tears threatening to leave his eyes. He did not want to do it, he had been pushing away the conversation because he wasn’t ready to let her go. He still wasn’t ready, but it was for the best.

When Y/N parked the car in his driveway and got out, she walked towards the entry with slow heavy steps. It was like standing in a tightrope—she held her breath so hard and felt like one wrong step might make her collapse to the ground. She didn’t want to reach the end of that metaphorical tightrope because nothing good was awaiting her on the other side. Yet, she had no choice, so with the knuckles of her shaky hands she knocked on the door.

Ethan stared at the door for a few seconds, and eventually ordered his body to open the door. He faced the most devastating sight—his girlfriend, standing there looking smaller than ever, with dark bags under her saddened eyes and wearing an expression of defeat. At first, he thought something had happened to her but the reluctance of meeting his eyes was enough to make him realize that she knew. She knew what was going on.

“Hi.” he said in a low pained voice. “Come in.”

She greeted him with just a nod and a pathetic attempt of a smile, aware that opening her mouth would just trigger the tears she was trying so hard to hold back. Y/N just wanted him to rip the bandaid off so she could walk back to her car and cry her heart out.

“Let’s sit on the couch.” he said, his heart breaking by her crest fallen state.

“Just say it, Ethan.” in her mind, the way the words left her mouth were harsh and sharp like a knife, but truth was, her voice reached the highest level of vulnerability. The pain in her voice was clear.

He swallowed down the knot in his throat. This was even more painful than he had imagined. “Y/N… I’m sorry.”

She hated herself for feeling the urge to wrap him in her arms and brush away his tears. He was the one tearing up the relationship, not the other way around.

“I don’t understand.” she frowned sadly, trying to make sense of the decision.

“I know you don’t… I just, I can’t do this anymore, Y/N/N. I’m going away, the first months are going to be rough. I need to show them they didn’t make a mistake when they chose me. I can’t afford any distractions” as soon as those last words left his mouth, he knew he fucked up.

Y/N flinched, and took a step back as if he had slapped her. “Oh, wow. That’s just the cherry on top, Ethan.”

“Shit, no. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Maybe you didn’t mean to say it, but it’s what you think. That I’m a distraction. That’s why you’re breaking up with me.”

It wasn’t that. She would never be a distraction—not the bad kind, at least—, but he couldn’t tell her the real reason why he was breaking things off. She would try to fight it, and that’s not what he wanted.

“No.” he sighed. “I just need to focus on doing my best, and I won’t have time for a relationship. I can’t just keep dating you when I can’t give you what you deserve.” he took a step closer, and cupped her cheek. “I don’t want you to hate me. Please don’t hate me, I really think this is for the best.”

“I just… why didn’t you tell me this sooner? These past few weeks were hell, I was constantly scared of this moment to come. It was agonising.”

“I was so selfish, I know. But I couldn’t let go, I wanted to spend a few more days with you. I didn’t know I was already hurting you.”

“You always knew you were going professional.” she whispered. “Did you always know you would break up with me in the end?”

“I didn’t expect to like you so much.” he said truthfully. “You know I didn’t do relationships, so I thought the thing between us would end way before I had to leave.”

“And you couldn’t have told me our relationship had an expiration date? Why’d you have to lead me on?”

“I… I don’t know, Y/N. I thought it was obvious that we couldn’t do long distance.”

Y/N’s scoff resonated in the room. “No, Ethan. It wasn’t fucking obvious. I thought we would try…”

“For what? These things never work. And with my schedule, I don’t see how this could not end in disaster. Why would we risk it?”

Y/N didn’t even contemplate it, and blurted out the words she had been meaning to say for a while “Because I love you…”

Ethan’s mind went blank, and he stood there in front of her completely speechless and frozen. He didn’t even noticed the way Y/N’s eyes got glossy, the way her hands shook or the anxious glances she threw his way.

Finally, Ethan fell on his butt on his couch and buried his face in his hands. It was painful, the way he wanted to say it back and the strength it took to restrain that urge. Ethan loved Y/N, and he knew perfectly well that she would follow him anywhere head first, but he just couldn’t let her do that. Her whole life was in New York, no matter if she was willing to let go of that for him, that wasn’t what Ethan wanted for her life. What if she ended up resenting him for allowing that?

Y/N didn’t know how long she stood there, waiting for him to say something, anything at all, but he wouldn’t even look at her. It was like twisting the knife he had already pierced her with, and she needed to get out of there. The silence was so loud she wanted to scream.

“Guess you didn’t like me that much.” she laughed a humourless laugh. Guess she was his, but he wasn’t hers. It sucks that she had to found out that way. “Good luck, Ethan. That team is lucky to have you, and I’m sure the coach will think so too. You’re going to do so well.”

And then she walked away, and a small part of her was hopeful he would suddenly react and say ‘Don’t go’. But he didn’t, and she had to hold back the tears until she was in the safety of her car, where Ethan wouldn’t be able to hear how much he had hurt her.

MONTHS FLEW BY, and Ethan was still being haunted by those three words and the way things had ended with Y/N. He was living his dream—he was part of an incredibly team, his teammates had been super welcoming, as well as the fans, and he managed to bond tightly with some of them, they were winning matches and the coach was delighted with his talent. He should be the happiest man on earth, but something was missing and he knew exactly what, or who.

Some of his teammates preferred to enjoy the female and male attention that being famous brought to play the field, and others were fully committed to their partners. And then, there was Ethan, who didn’t want to play the field and he had let go of his partner and only person his heart had belonged to. Missing her was painful, especially knowing it was all on him.

Y/N watched every single game of Ethan’s, not matter how overwhelming it was. She loved seeing him achieving his goals and dreams and felt beaten every time the team lost and she had to witness Ethan’s crestfallen face. She still loved him very much, and missing him was the hardest thing in the world.

But the fact that she missed his face didn’t mean she was ready to see him again, which was why the news hit her like a truck.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out.” her teacher asked worriedly.

Tara looked at her with pity, knowing exactly the reason behind her weird reaction to something that was supposed to be an incredible opportunity. “She’s just shocked.”

“Oh.” the teacher smiled. “I assume you’re a fan of the Chicago Blackhawks, then.”

“Something like that.” the girl managed to say.

Apparently, one of the professors had contacts in the team and they managed to convince the coach to let two of Blackmore’s top marketing students work on a special project that involved the team’s publicity. And Y/N had been selected, which meant that he would be seeing her ex-boyfriend for the first time in six months in less than twenty four hours.

THERE WAS A MIX OF NERVOUSNESS AND ANXIOUSNESS IN THE LOCKER ROOM. Knees bounced and no words were uttered because of the uncertainty of the situation.

“Morning.” the coach spoke, exiting his office to stand in front of the team. Rolling his eyes, he let out a laugh then he said, “Unclench your asses, boys, there’s nothing wrong.”

“Why’d you ask us to come minutes early, then?” the captain asked.

“I just wanted to tell you that the following practices and games are going to be a bit different.” the team exchanged confused glances. “We’re having two marketing students present. They’re going to work on the team’s image as their final project for college.”

“Oh, cool. What’s the college?” Chad, goalie and Ethan’s closest friend, questioned.

“Blackmore University. It’s in New York. I have a friend working there and he asked me if I would be up to working with the students.”

Ethan’s hockey stick fell from his sweaty hand, landing on the ground with a resonating thud. Every pair of eyes landed on him, but his shocked face was focused on the wall.

“You okay, bud?” Chad asked, shaking his shoulder.

“W-what?” he blinked a couple of times, then shook his head. “Yes, sorry. I’m just- nothing.”

“You know the school? You’re from New York, right?” the captain asked.

“Yeah… I actually go there. I’m finishing the year online.” he answered.

“Oh, shit.” Chad said, eyes widening as the realization kicked in. “She goes there, right? Tell me she’s not in marketing.” but Ethan’s anxious eyes answered for him. “Well, fuck.”

“What’s going on?” Wes, another teammate, asked.

“My ex… she’s a marketing student. We broke up the night before I moved here.” Ethan said running his fingers through his hair.

“Let me guess, it did not end well.” Danny grimaced.

“It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.” Ethan began to explain everything about that night.

“Why didn’t you say it back?!” the coach asked as if it had been the juiciest gossip he had heard in years. “You didn’t love her?”

“Of course I loved her. Fuck, I still do. So fucking much. And I miss her like crazy, I’m just not ready to see her yet. She probably hates me and I still think of her everyday.”

Everyone looked at him with soft eyes. Ethan was like a golden retriever, and everyone had a soft spot for him despite having meeting him a few short months ago.

“But no matter how badly I want her back, I can’t. She lives in New York, and I live here.” he sighed. “I’m probably overreacting, though, maybe she’s not one of those two students.”

“Well, you’re about to find out because they are already here.” coach said, looking at the text he had received. “Let’s go.”

It wasn’t hard for the team to realize that Ethan’s ex was there. The two teenagers couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, and the tension was obvious to everyone in that rink.

“So, what are we doing, bosses?” Chad asked Tara and Y/N once the introductions were made.

“Well, Y/N had this idea and I think is amazing.” Tara said, tilting her head at Y/N urging her to go on.

“You’re probably going to hate me.” Y/N started, which was followed by some Oh, god’s and groans. “So I thought we should focus on Tik Tok. Not only is the most popular app right now, but hockey players are super trending there.”

“Why?” the captain frowned in confusion.

Tara and her exchanged smirks. “Hockey rom-coms.” they said in unison.

“Of course.” the words left Ethan’s mouth unconsciously and followed by a deep laugh, remembering when he would catch Y/N giggling and swooning over fictional hockey players.

The beautiful sound went straight to Y/N’s chest. Even though part of her still resented the way he had left her, she couldn’t help but smile. At that moment, the feeling of having missed him was stronger than the hurt and sadness of their break-up.

Two minutes within his presence and she was already a mess. She didn’t know how she was going to survive getting used to being so close to him again, only to board a plan in a few days and go back to just daydream about him. She was already dreading to go back to New York, a place that didn’t feel like home anymore.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, Ethan lived his victory with pure ecstasy and happiness. Winning always felt good, but he never got to enjoy it fully because he had no family to celebrate it with. But now, even though it was not for him, Y/N was there in the stands. She was clapping and cheering with Tara, and when her eyes connected with his, he swore he was levitating.

“Hey…” Y/N said when he and Chad skated towards them. “Congratulations, guys. You were amazing as always.”

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” Chad smiled. “We needed that victory after the last match.”

“Don’t beat yourself up for that. That referee sucked. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the team bribed him.” Y/N shrugged.

Ethan looked at her in surprise. “You watch our games?”

Y/N blushed and cursed herself internally. “Uh, yeah. Anyways,” she cleared her throat. “Are you going to celebrate?”

“We usually go to a bar after a victory. You’re very invited, of course. Drinks on us, you’ve been doing an amazing job in our social media.” Chad said.

“Told you. Miss Y/N is a marketing genius.” Tara pinched her cheek, making the girl squeal.

“She is.” Ethan said with a proud smile. And fuck if it didn’t make Y/N want to kiss him.

“We’ll drive you. You can go with me and Y/N can go with Eth.” Chad and Tara shared knowing glances.

“Perfect.” Ethan spoke up before Y/N could object. He gave her the keys to his car. “I’m going to take a quick shower, you can wait there.”

After a couple of minutes, Ethan climbed into the driver’s seat “Did you enjoy the game?”

“Yes. It was insane!” she said with an enthusiastic grin. “I’m really happy for you, Eth. You’re living your dream.”

Ethan forced a smile. “Yeah.”

Y/N frowned. “Well, don’t sound so thrilled. What’s wrong? You looked very happy out there.”

“I was. I mean, I am happy. For the first time since I played here, I can truthfully say I’m the happiest.”

“Why? You have won before.”

“Because it’s the first time I get to share my victory with someone I love.” he looked at her with bright eyes. “Every game, I would look at the crowd, hoping to see you there, cheering for me with my number on your back. But you never were, until today. And I have never felt so on top of the world.”

Y/N stared at him dumbfounded. “Eth… fuck. That’s… I- I watched every game. I’m so fucking proud of you. And I would’ve been here, you know that. But you left me.”

“I know.”

“I would’ve stayed forever if you’d said don’t go. I would’ve followed you everywhere. I told you I loved you, and you said nothing back.”

“I loved you, too. And if you hadn’t noticed yet, I still do. My dream had always been playing professional hockey, but ever since you walked into my life, you became part of that dream. I wouldn’t be happy without hockey, but being without you? It feels fucking void. And I’m sorry that I hurt you, I should’ve never let you go.”

“Why did you?”

“You have your family in New York, you have friends, you were about to finish the degree you’d worked so hard for… I couldn’t be selfish to ask you to come with me.”

“It would’ve been selfish to force me to come. But ask? That’s what you should’ve done. We could’ve talked about it. But you didn’t even fight for us, you made your choice and didn’t let me do the same.”

“I was scared you would’ve chosen to come with me, and then regret it and hate me for it.” he confessed, eyes glossing with tears.

“Babe, I could never hate you.” she said softly, brushing his dump hair away from his forehead. “You know what my decision would have been?” Ethan shook his head as he grabbed her hand. “I would’ve told you I could finish online. I would’ve told you that my family isn’t going anywhere, and that I could still visit them. I would’ve told you my friends and I would still be able to text everyday. And above all, that you’re the love of my life. That I want to be cheering for you on the stands with your number on my back. And then, depending on how the match goes, we’d go celebrate together or cuddle as I reassure you that everyone has bad games and you’re one of the best players I’ve ever seen.”

Ethan didn’t know it was possible to fall harder, but there he was. “Do you still want that?” he asked hopeful.

“More than anything in the world.” she pressed her forehead against his and they both smiled. “I missed you horribly. I don’t want to be apart from you ever again.”

“God, me neither. I’m keeping you forever.” he gave her a soft kiss. “You’re moving in with me.” another kiss. “I’m going to marry you.” another kiss. “We’re going to have kids.” another kiss. “And we’re going to grow old together.”

“I love you so much. That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard and I can’t wait to live that life with you.”

#ethan landry #ethan landry fluff #ethanlandry #ethan landry x you #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry fanfiction #ethan landry fic #ethan landry smut #ethan landry angst #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry oneshot #ethan landry scream #jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x y/n #jack champion oneshot #jack champion imagine #jackchampion #jack champion fluff #jack champion fanfic

[futurewriter2000]

Second Chance

A/N: I don't know how this can end in a happy ending but... I'll try. I didn't even know how to start writing this request but I think I did fairly well and even better than I expected. I think I can do it better though but for now, I'll give you this. Short-ish and sweet. I tried to put everything into one fic.

REQUEST #14 (wattpad) @fredsdeath: HI!! I love all ur books especially the fred weasley book and uhm i was wondering if you could do my request abt how y/n pretends to have amnesia and not remember fred bc fred was her ex and broke her heart in their past relationship like happy emding or not its fine and this is just a suggestion its still okay if you dont do it tho :D

XX

They say that the first few months always feel like a true honeymoon and then the reality hits but it wasn't like that with you and Fred. It was different because the two of you were friends first before anything and that changed everything. You knew who he was, the good and the bad, as well as he did. The two of you had this undestructable bond, nothing in the world could break. It felt real, it felt true, it felt like a once in a life-time love and you believed that.

You did... until you didn't anymore.

There were moments of Fred acting ditant. Sometimes when you looked into his eyes, he wasn't there and when he smiled, it felt forced. You felt like you were too much for him so you took a step back as well, thinking that space was all that he needed. You were different than him however, you didn't want space, you needed reassurence that he is still the Fred that will hold your hands and kiss them randomly when the two of you are laughing or just sitting together. You believed that the Fred that walked down the hall, nagging you jokingly until you retorded a sarcastic comment back, pretending to be furious with him until he nagged you until you laughed- was still somehow there. You believed that the Fred who made your stomach cramp either from laughter or butterflies will appear soon. It's just a hard transitioning moment, now that the new headmistress is on. He's coming back... he's still Fred.

He wasn't though.

"What do you mean?" your eyes twitched and you couldn't figure out whether you were angry or sad. You kept looking at the ground, not knowing when your hands ripped themselves from his.

"It's not you, I swear, it's just-"

"It's you." you looked at him, your lip trembling but you refused to cry in front of him.

"It is..." he bit his lower lip. "I just don't think that this is it." he said and you refused to look at him. He forced a smile and swayed on his feet. "We can still be friends." he said, touching your shoulder playfully as if all of a sudden you will place a smile on your face, bright and jolly but you turned your head away, wiped the crocodile tear that fell from your eyes and looked at him.

"Who is she?" you said with a sharp cold tone.

"There isn't-"

"You never lied to me, Fred. Don't start now." you glared.

He looked at you and pursed his lips together. He looked away and you let out a laugh from disbelief.

"I had a feeling but I always refused to listen to it. You know why?" you paused. "Because my trust for you was bigger than my insecurities but you just made me believe I was going crazy for such a long time until you grew balls to tell me."

"I just kissed her once-"

"Oh-" you literally heard your heart break inside your chest.

"She KISSED ME-" he mumbled. "I swear, I didn't kiss her first, she just sort of leaned in and I pulled away and I didn't want to say anything, I swear because I thought it was nothing but she just sort of... I don't know... I couldn't stop thinking about it."

"So you want to slag around."

"NO!" he started to get frustrated, shaking his head. "I just- I'm lost right now. I don't know what I want."

"You want her."

"No-" he shook his head. "I don't know... maybe... I don't know."

"Fuck you." you said, slapping him hard on his cheek that it turned red immediatelly. "You just wasted fucking 8 months of my life." and with that you turned around.

----

It's been a long year now since then and you knew her name... not that you truly wanted it but you heard of a short fling between Fred and Angelina Jonson. She was another good friend of his and you wished you figured it out sooner but you haven't.

You've cried. You did. More than just one crocodile tear. You've made a mess from your room and your roommates didn't really mind. They've been patient and graceful with you. They've also been a good distraction from your emotions and you were glad you weren't when Fred made his great parting with fireworks in Hogwarts that year.

You've put yourself together since then. You did and you've heard he's been with that woman, another woman, a few other women and you didn't want to hear none of it. Your friends kept telling you about it, despite you didn't want to. You heard about his shop and all of other things.

Now... well, now you've had your own appartment, which was quite hard with the economy but you wanted your place since you were an early teen. And to think of it, getting an appartment was easier than getting a job that pays well on your education. But it did. You've worked in a small bussiness, grammar checking documents that came in and out. Something close to an accounting. It wasn't what you wanted but it was something.

You haven't seen Fred in a year and a half. He was still on your mind though. He was. It was as if he put a chip into you that keeps rewinding time back to when the two of you were in love.

What you hated more was that you did move on but somehow he was still following you everywhere you went. You didn't see him anywhere and you knew that was a good sign but you were always on the lookout. Close to his shop, you felt anxious and you thought it over what would happen if he came out now and see you. You didn't know. You didn't know anything. Your brain turned off like nothing.

But that never happened and so you were okay with moving on.

---

So how did you end up here?

How did he end up here?

The last thing you told him was that he should have fun with your replacement and he did... for a short time. It really infuriated him that you told him that but Angelina really wasn't the one either. He pushed it as far as he could but something didn't click with her. He didn't feel joy with her, he felt obligated to be with her but he grew tired of being with someone.

He told you he forgets people easily but why did seeing you hurt so much. It was like a sting into his heart- quick but short. He couldn't mumble a word when you stood there and there was no shine in your eyes, no glow on you as he remembered you. There was a smile but not as joyful.

You stood there... still beautiful.

He hated that. He hated that you were still beautiful- more than him... since always.

He turned his head away, not wanting to look at you anymore. He was furious- so darn furious. Why didn't anybody tell him about you?

"There she is!" Remus came over with his hands on your shoulders, gently and formally.

You smiled brightly at him because you adored him as a professor. He was the only professor who made a course feel important and interesting.

"She was my best student and she now works in a small company for accounting- a shame to waste your talents there."

Sirius, he stood up tall and mighty, almost king-like and you felt infatuated by his kingly presence. His eyes were cold blue but his look was warm and safe.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Azkaban or something?" you joked and he laughed.

"Been there, didn't like it much." he retorded back and a few of the group laugh. "She's been working for me too for a bit. Remus recommended her- just for a short time and she turned out to be trustworthy. I bet she went to Hogwarts with you."

Ginny ran to you into a hug immediately and smiled up to you... well not up anymore. She seemed taller than you by a few centimeters. The two of you always had a great friendship, despite Fred. She adored you and you adored her.

"I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed and you laughed, hugging her tightly.

"Me neither. This man put me through hell."

"I did not." Sirius gasped.

"Don't leave him alone in this house for long ever again."

"We have so much to catch up!"

And you did. With the whole group. You did work with Sirius through Remus. You've never really met him personally, always through some Howlers, letters, some other secret forms of communication and he was always so arrogant through it. He had grumpy and sassy remarks and at first you were professional about it but through time you've had enough and returned the energy. It has mostly been with the documents you've been grammarly correcting. They had been reciepts from big, luxiourious wizard families and you could see in some of those reciepts which were on the bad side, which on the good and which were fleeding and unreliable.

You didn't know about the other participants except Remus, Tonks and Sirius. Soon you figured Moody was one as well when he trampled into your office, asking questions and now you've met others.

You've never been much of a leap of faith person but you've always had a strong urge to stand for fairness and justice. You've fired up when you had to, not knowing until you went to bed that night. Remus saw that in you and he knew that all you needed was a little push.

You've always been reliable and when you promised something, you didn't back out, even if you were extremely anxious. He knew you could never back out from this. A bit manipulating but well, that was the push.

You've looked at Moody with your mouth on the ground.

"Turn into Harry?" you looked at all the others, especially at Remus.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to." said Harry.

"No, it's not that." you laughed. "Couldn't we just turn Harry into some random Muggle and transport him?"

The others thought about it as it could be.

"No!" Moody shouted. "Would you think they'd just let some random Muggle with a stick in his boot let into the Ministry?" he growled at you, approaching you. "No- now dress up lil priss." and he shoved clothes at you.

You looked after him than walked to Harry. "Are you comfortable with this? Us... turning into you?"

He gave you a comforting smile. "Not really but a plan is a plan. My comfort is not really in question." he offered you a smile and you returned it, though you felt a bit sad for the boy, espeicially when others made awful comments about them.

What you didn't notice was the little peeps Fred was giving you when you undressed, easily unclasping your bra under your Harry shirt and throwing it in the corner.

George apperead in front of him as Harry, giving him a grin meanwhile Fred just put his glassess on and pretended not to look.

"You're with me little priss." one of the Harry's told you and winked at you.

As you walked behind fake Harry, you passed what you thought was Fred and he called out your name. "Hey, (Y/n)."

You turned around. "What?"

"Stay safe."

You looked at him and nodded, turning back to the fake Harry, feeling your heart beating fast. Not because of Fred... this was pure fear.

---

Fred just turned back into himself, laughing with his father about the trip when Ginny told him about George. He was running into the living room, finding his best friend bloody on the couch.

"Shit, George." he came to his side.

"I'm howy." George whispered.

"What George?" Fred leaned in worriedly.

"I said..." George took a breath. "I'm holy now Fred."

Fred rolled his eyes and laughed from all the relief. "Only you can crack a joke about a blown up ear."

He looked up, smiling joyfully when the others smiled back, hugging him and George. It wasn't until two were missing. He looked around again. "Where are Tonks and (y/n)?" he asked but the others looked around and nobody was around.

"Remus is waiting for them, I'll go out and check." said Arthur but just as he was about to head out the door, Remus came rushing the door with you in his arms. His shirt was soaked in your blood, Tonks' hands as well.

"MOVE!" shouted Remus as Arthur cleared the table so that Remus could place you there gently.

"It came out of nowhere- I don't know who is was but she was blown off our broom and fell hard on the woods. She hit her head pretty hard." Tonks spoke quickly, like your life depended on it.

Ginny and Molly were right by your side, Remus as well. Fred just watched with his eyes wide open. Everything was gone, all the anger, all of it, out of his system. There was no room for anger, only regret and sadness.

"(y/n)- come on little priss, you have to wake up." Remus slapped your cheeks gently.

It was so sudden. You laid there calmly and like you were awaken from the dead, you jumped up and took a deep breath in.

"Where am I?!" you looked around, feeling your head pounding but everything was extremely bloody.

You heard voices around you but none of them were clear.

"You're safe-" you looked around but you recognised that voice anywhere.

"Professor Lupin? Where's Madam Pince my head is-" you were just about to say something when you started choking on your own blood.

Fred fell on the floor, just by George when he saw the sight.

Arthur saw the terror in Fred's eyes and shouted at the other. "GET HIM OUT OF HERE! ALL OF YOU OUT!"

---

Fred had a whole review of your life together back in Hogwarts. Everything turned back- everything. The small things, the big things and he realised that not once did the two of you had a bad memory together. Not one but until he broke things off.

He was pacing up and down outside the living room. Ginny kept trying to calm him down but he was not consolable. Not until you were completely alright. Not until he comes back and you're breathing and smiling at him.

Finally Arthur came to Fred, only to Fred because he knew of their past together. His expression was grim but it wasn't something Fred could read at the moment. He had you in perfect image. Since always.

"How is she?!" he quickly asked and everybody stood up and listened as well.

"She's living and breathing." he said, putting his hand on Fred's shoulder. "Remus is great at taking care of people, so she's resting with George... however... she kept recalling back a few years..." he looked up worriedly. "She kept asking for Dumbledore and... McGonagall..." he continued. "Remus says it could be shock or some short amnesia."

"What does that mean, dad?" Fred asked but his father only looked away. "Dad!"

"I don't know really... only time will tell when she wakes up."

Fred burst through the door and found his two favorite people laying on the couch. It was odd sight becuase you were there moving your lips and looking at your roommate, fist bumping him.

"Samesiess." George shouted weakley. "I've always wanted a girl roommate."

"Ew." you said, laughing.

"Not like that- Merlin." George said. "If moving my eyes wouldn't hurt I'd roll my eyes right now."

"If I could have the strenght to move my hands I'd show you the middle finger."you replied and could hear him laugh, caughing.

Fred smiled from relief and walked confidently into the room. "Hey, you two are on bed rest, stop talking and laughing." he said, sitting at George's side first. He looked at you and you looked at him.

"George?" you said worriedly. "I didn't know you had a sibling?"

"I have eight of them... or seven... six... I really don't know..."

"I didn't know you had one that looks exactly like you." you furrowed your eyebrows and it was only for a joke. You've always wanted to play a joke but something in Fred's eyes.

Something in his eyes made him come towards you and look at you with the same look he did all those years. The same eyes that you prayed for such a long time ago.

"You don't remember me?" he asked.

And you haven't got any clue why you turned your head and mumbled no. You turned it away from him because you felt something hurt inside of you so much by having him looking at you so close. Your heart was tearing up inside of you all over again and you wished, you prayed, you said you never met him because that was what you truly wanted. You wanted that he never existed in your brain because it just... hurts so much.

"Please leave me alone." you said and kept shutting your eyes.

Fred backed away, terror in his eyes, his heart, rage? Perhaps shock- something was in his chest, burning up his throat. He didn't hear the pain in your throat or the tears that fell from your eyes when you turned away. He couldn't function properly.

"Fred..." he heard George but he just stormed outside.

It was as if something was spinning in his head. It was so horrible.

Ginny came after him, calling out his name, asking what is wrong.

"WHAT'S WRONG?!" he turned around, a big forced smile of disbelief, almost wicked-like. "I ALMOST LOST TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! BESIDES THAT ONE LOST AN EAR, THE OTHER LOST A BLOODY MEMORY OF ME- OF OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP!!!"

Ginny stood there. Usually she would shout something back but she just let him yell.

"Ginny- she-" he started to break down, falling onto his knees and pulling his long legs into a hug.

Ginny walked to his side and hugged him around the shoulders. "It could be temporary... she's just in a shock."

"She remembers George."

"How do you know? She just talked to him like she woud with another person."

"She wouldn't talk to me like this..."

"She would." Ginny added and Fred looked at her, letting a laugh.

"Yeah... she would... she was unpredicatable like that." he said.

"Why did the two of you even break up?"

"I don't know really." Fred mumbled. "But I don't know if I can live through her not remembering us... you know?" he looked at Ginny, then laid his head on her shoulder. "We used to have so much fun... when we were together. She was so snarky and confident..."

"She's always so happy and has such a good heart." Ginny added.

"Yeah... she was perfect and... I really didn't know we would work so well together but I don't know... I thought she would be a fling and I wasn't ready to commit- she just... she deserved so much better than me, I always knew that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... look at her and look at me." he lookd at Ginny.

"Fred, she looked at you as if you were the whole world for her, not because of your looks or it was because of your looks, I doubt that though but she didn't want anybody else. She wanted you." Ginny said and Fred looked at her.

"I don't know Ginny."

"You do know, Fred. You were the one who thought you didn't deserve her and with the way you were acting after the two of you broke up, just told me how much she hurt you." she continued without any filter. "And it wasn't that she hurt you... it was that you were furious that you fucked up a good thing."

Fred looked at his sister with a confused look. She didn't use that kind of language. "I don't know when you grew up so much, Ginny." he said and laid his head back on her shoulder. "But... if she forgot about us... and me... I don't know- she was the only person who really knew me and it was hard for her to trust me in the first place. When she did, it felt like I met the right person to feel safe with..."

"Like I said... we can hope that she does remember."

---

You and George were laying in the darkness, both resting. You were glad the whole thing was over, even though you almost couldn't have made it out alive.

"Do you really not remember Fred?" asked George.

There was silence but you looked to the darkness beside you where George was speaking from. "I wish I didn't." you said.

"Why did you tell him then you didn't?" he asked calmly.

You turned your head back to the dark ceiling. "I just... I actually don't know... it was a joke at first..."

"I gathered that but he just saw two of people he cared about almost die in front of his eyes so I believe him for not catching it."

"Then he just looked at me with those eyes... like that he cares and I just... I don't know I wanted to make sure if he does or not so I just said no."

There was a small laugh from the other side. "Did you get your answer?"

"Kind of." you shrugged.

"(y/N)." he said in a serious tone. "He bloody loved you. You didn't know how he was when you weren't around. First he was furious, then he was frustrated when you didn't catch our fireworks, then he was melancholic for a while and all of a sudden he got an urge to go after every girl that walked into the shop- age appropriate to be clear." he stopped for a moment. "He cared, he really did- he didn't know how much he had lost until months later. Angelina couldn't compare to you. He wasn't as ambitious and happy as he was with you. He was absent and lost..."

There was a loud silence after that and you felt as if you have to say something in return. "I didn't know you could preform such long speeches."

You heard shuffling on the other side and suddenly something soft landed on your stomach. "Owww!"

"Shut up, we're both poor right now." he said and you laughed , throwing the pillow back.

---

George was awake and walking. He was just getting suited for the wedding when Fred was tying his bowtie. He walked into the living room and saw your space empty. He looked around and tried to find any traces of your disappearance.

It wasn't until he heard a grunt from the bathroom and you walked out, pinning something into your hair. "Hey Ginny this bandage is so unnecessary-" you looked up and he was staring at you as you stared back. His hands were at the untied bowtie and yours were stucking a flower somewhere where your bandage was loose around your head.

"You remember Ginny?" he asked and you kept looking at him.

You let your hands fall down to your side and you took a few steps forward. "I do." you said and grabbed his tie and started to throw it around into a bowtie.

"Do you remember me?" he asked softly as he looked down at you but you kept your eyes on his bowtie.

You were silent for a while and started to twist it around to stay on its place. "I can do it better." you said and untied it again.

He smiled at that. "A perfectionist, you remember that." he said and he could see a smile on your lips. "Please, (y/n)..." he said and placed his hands on top of yours.

You finally looked up and found his eyes in such pain. You didn't think eyes so joyful could look that tormented. "I remember you Fred." you smiled softly, then looked back at the bowtie. "Just like I remember how to tie a perfect bowtie." you smiled and fixed it on his collar.

He breathed out a long breath of relief. He saw your hands leave his bowtie and he immedately started to fix your bandage and hair flower. "You're beautiful today." he said as he continued to tuck in the last peaces of the bandage before going to the flower. "You're beautiful every day."

You continued to look up, his slick and gentle hands touching your scalp and spreading warmth, even the memories you forgot existed. "I'm sorry." you said and he raised an eyebrow. "I always knew who you were..." you said and his hands dropped, still holding the flower that was supposed to go into your hair.

"You did?"

"I did." you said. "You were so close and you were just- and it really hurt- you really hurt me." you said, looking into his eyes, knowing yours were filling themselves with tears. "It was the first time I saw you so close after such a long time and everything came back- and it hurt so much I wished to forget you." you said, avoiding his gaze.

He didn't say anything. To be honest, he wasn't furious or in shock. "You could have done worse, really..." he gave an awkward smile and you laughed. He put his hand back up to your head and started placing it into your hair.

You only observed and as you did so, his hand fell to your cheek and brushed it with his thumb. The two of you were looking at each other, felt like a whole century since the two of you were looking at each other like this... and it felt like yesterday.

Time truly is an illusion, isn't it.

"Please, give me a second chance." he said, leaning his forehead onto yours.

"Fred..." you sighed.

"I know it's a lot to ask but please- I promise, I won't run away again like I did last time." he said, pulling back and cupping your cheeks. "We're special. I know you know... I know we are... please..."

You smiled, closing your eyes and feeling all this warmth, safety and love over your body.

Hope.

There's nothing wrong with having hope.

There's nothing wrong with second chances.

You looked up at him. "Second chance then."

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley x reader #george weasley #george weasley imagine #george weasley imagines #remus lupin imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬 #; cold hearts

[wooahaes]

just out of reach

pairing: non-idol!ghost!joshua x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort. kinda angst bc reader's also in love with a ghost.

word count: ~1.0k

warnings: reader has a rough day. love that is likely never to be requited.

daisy's notes: google how do i kiss a ghost

“I’m home.” 

You heard nothing as you called out the words upon arriving home. No partner to warmly greet you and steal a kiss before asking about how your day went, or saying that they ordered dinner tonight. No sound of something pawing its way toward you, barking or meowing for attention at long last. No roommate, either, to ask if you’d bought the thing they asked you to since your way home from work took you right by the grocery store you frequented most. Sometimes, you were glad to live alone. You had less to deal with, although you did have to deal with all of your chores entirely on your own. Other times, it left you the way you felt tonight: hollow and mostly alone. No one to bother you and maybe hug you when you opened up about your rough day, but no one who could give you that warm embrace that you craved in your bones. 

So you decided you’d make a mug of hot chocolate the way one of your friends used to. Ever since you moved to the city a few months ago, life was quieter than it had been before. You’d yet to make friends both in and outside of work, yet to have someone you could open up to… But you made it work. You opened up the cabinets, pulling down a box of instant hot chocolate packets when you noticed the lights beginning to dim and flicker.

You took a break, holding it for a moment, eyes squeezing shut. Right. That annoyance. You slowly breathed out, speaking aloud as you reached for one of your favorite mugs, “Stop.”

The lights returned to normal. You moved to the fridge, opening it up to see if you still had leftover whipped cream, maybe milk, too. Barely a second later, the door was pushed into you, bouncing off. 

You shoved it away. “Quit it.” The mug you left on the counter was pulled away. “I fucking mean it—”

Then you felt a cold breath against the back of your neck. You slammed the fridge shut and turned around. “Go away!” 

All of a sudden, he materialized before you. Joshua. The last man who owned this apartment. You didn’t like recounting the gruesome accident that led to his death, but you were ultimately grateful that you knew them now. The landlord had told you that he merely ‘left one night’ and that he ended up having the apartment repainted due to the state it was left in. Rent was cheaper, though, and you needed a place to stay… So that meant you had to live with this roommate you never asked for. He stared at you with wide eyes, and stepped back, watching as you began to go through the routine of making a half-decent mug of hot chocolate. He’d realized you definitely weren’t playing with him the way you usually did, the grumpy one to his playful nature.

“Sorry,” his voice was soft, and it sent a chill down your spine. Ghosts had this weird edge to this voice, distant and cold. You’d grown used to it, but that initial chill never seemed to leave you considering how… alive Joshua felt most days.

You shrugged it off. Despite snapping at him, you knew that he couldn’t have known how badly today treated you. He told you that life was fuzzier. That sometimes he couldn’t see you clearly, just as you couldn’t always see him. Seeing a picture of him helped, in a weird way: like you were able to recognize Joshua, so he stopped feeling so fuzzy around the edges when you perceived him. But you? You weren’t sure if you would ever stop being hard to see. 

Despite him not existing in a physical form, the wood creaked underneath his feet. He stepped into the space next to you as you stood in the kitchen, drinking your hot chocolate. He peered around you, trying to focus a little further on your features, as if that would tell him what he wanted to know. “What happened?”

You shook your head. “Too much.”

He raised a hand, hesitating for a moment before he reached forward. His touch was cold, but you could feel his fingers brush against your cheek, and it soothed you. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

If you shut your eyes, it felt like he was there just a little more. Like he wasn’t dead. Why had you grown so attached to him…? Neither of you knew why he was stuck there, but the two of you developed a strange sense of something. Not quite friendship anymore, although you would call Joshua a ‘friend’ if you had no other words to describe it. It was as though he knew you intimately, learning more about you over time. Part of it came from the way he used to watch you when you first moved in, the rest was everything you’d told him. He’d told you stories from his own life before the incident happened. People he knew were still alive now. You’d met a few of them, actually. You’d taken a letter you’d ‘found’ to Jeonghan with final words that Joshua had written out beside you, focusing hard enough on a pencil to be able to write it himself. You’d met Seungcheol, too, who showed you pictures of Joshua and Jeonghan when the three of them were in school together. He’d had you deliver something to his mother, too, and introduced yourself as a ‘friend’ despite the word never fitting quite correctly in your mouth.

Joshua was dead. “Friend” was all you’d ever be, and yet the way he looked at you felt… different. The way you felt toward him was different, too.

“Tell me about it,” he said gently. “I’m here.”

Right. If nothing else… Joshua would always be right here.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @staranghae @synthetickitsune @weird-bookworm

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #joshua x reader #joshua x you #joshua hong x reader #wooahaes.fall23

[quinloki]

I JUST

I cannot handle the shanks/marco I just cannot get it out of my BRAIN

I don’t even have anything good going on in my brain about it bc I am so so not used to yandere vibes but omg it’s been running along in my head with the WBP one

I just…. Ugh….. giving into shanks after all that because you’re tired and at least this way you can be close to Marco, and if you’re behaving Marco doesn’t get hurt. And really, if you’re both behaving Shanks is a little more relaxed about it. I could see him testing, offering a little more freedom here and there. Maybe one or both of you fail the first few times, and you’re punished, but you learn better and take the freedom without pushing it after that. You can go to certain areas of the ship without being escorted, spend time together without someone always there, and really sleeping in Shanks’ bed at the end of the day isn’t so bad. It’s more comfy than some of the places you were punished, and you get to fall asleep with Marco if you’re good.

…..

IDK I GOT NOTHING ITS JUST BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD LIKE A PING PONG BALL

and I’m sorry Marco I would break so fast I am weak minded

Oohhh>.>

Things go well for a good couple of weeks after you just cave and break for Shanks. You and Marco almost have a passable illusion of freedom, aside from the nagging understanding of your situation you'd almost think you were there by your own desires.

One day, the Red Force is docked, the crew are ashore. You're both let off the ship, and for the most part Shanks stays with you. You're all three almost like a real throuple.

At some point Marco realizes it's just you and him.

No sea stone.

No Shanks.

There's crew, but no one's close by.

He doesn't overthink it, transforms and has you on his back. You're clear of the island before you even really understand what's going on. You've been dissociating so hard lately that it just takes a while.

Marco isn't in tip top shape, but he's not beat or worn down either. He rides the thermals, uses every trick he knows, flies for almost two days before you both stop somewhere and truly rest. Food, water, two hours of sleep maybe and he's back in the air.

Keeps it up for nearly two weeks. He's not even sure where he is when you finally stop and spend a couple days on an island, and neither of you ask. You do your best to appear to be locals instead of tourists, and stick around for a few days recovering, building strength.

It's hard work just living after being confined in the ship for so long. But Marco's body recovers extra fast and he's doing work while you're still getting your own self back up to par.

Maybe you get weeks like this. Maybe months. Maybe the world changes and you both figure Shanks just... isn't Shanks anymore. Everything's different, why not him?

But this isn't a story with a happy ending.

The point of Shanks' sword is pressing into your throat, you can't move, couldn't if you wanted to, but if you do you'll slit your own throat. It's everything you have to keep yourself precariously balanced - you can't even hear what's being said around you.

Marco's in the doorway, already on his knees, Beckman and Hongo are holding onto him as he's begging Shanks not to hurt you. He remembers the rules, he knows he's the one that took off, took you with him, gave Shanks the slip for months. It was him, but he'll endure anything Shanks wants to do to him, he can implant sea stone into his body if he wants.

But hurt him. Punish him.

It's weeks before you see Marco again. You hear him. Every day. Somewhere else on the ship roaring in pain, but it's weeks before you see him. Weeks begging Shanks to let you bear some of the pain, to ease some of his punishment, but Shanks doesn't. Says he's honoring Marco's wishes, and won't deny his convictions.

When you do finally see Marco he doesn't say much, smiles at you, looks you over, asks if you're okay. You promise you are, and he just lays down with you. Cuddles. Keeps you within arms reach for days, eating enough to live, and speaking enough to ease your fears. It takes a few more days for the light to come back into his eyes.

You have to hope someone can save you both eventually, but the world's already changed, and you're still on the ship.

#quin answers #kazieai #red hair shanks #marco the phoenix #x reader #reader insert #yandere #cw yandere #bad end thoughts

[letarasstuff]

Hypothetically Sick

(A/N): This one sat in my drafts for over a month, I started it before the request came, bc it was inspired by me, getting hypothetical sick during finals

Summary: Spencer's daughter is trying to hide her cold while studying for her finals. How long will it take for him to find out?

Warnings: Mentions of medications, don't overwork yourselves, it's never worth it!

Wordcount: 1.4k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________________

Being an overachiever and unable to admit to yourself that you need a break is not a good mix. And still, (Y/N) tries to power through it.

What is she even trying to “power through”? Well, she caught the common cold in the middle of her finals and the preparation for those finals.

Or as she tells herself: “I’m only hypothetically sick. If I was to be sick, I would tell Dad and take a break. But I’m not, so everything is fine.” As she says that, she slowly sips ginger tea from her favorite mug (an R2-D2 print) and sniffles, all the while her eyes are glued to the flashcards in front of her.

Being stuck in a tunnel vision of deep concentration, she doesn’t hear the front door open and close again. Or the footsteps coming into her direction. It takes a loud knocking at the door to get her out of her focus.

“(Y/N)? May I come in?” Spencer asks his daughter with excitement in his voice. In a moment of panic, because the teen definitely is planning on keeping her hypothetical cold from him, she downs the hot tea and cramps everything that can be associated with sickness under her bed. After that she quickly throws her blanket over it, hiding the gap.

“Yes!” She answers finally, trying to keep the gruff out of her voice. Immediately Spencer opens the door, his smile so big, it would be a circle if he didn't have any ears.

“Look what I found!” He exclaims and sits down next to his daughter on the floor, practically throwing the book he had in his hands into her lap. Before (Y/N) is able to cast a glance onto it, the father explains his emotions.

“It’s the book you told me about and I finally found it! We had a bit of spare time before the jet was ready to fly back to DC so I went to this little book store I had been eyeing for a while. While I cluelessly looked around, it practically sprung onto me! I immediately checked it out and the person at the register told me it’s a really good read. I’m so happy I found it there, because my next step would have been an online search, because you seemed so intrigued by this book and you are studying so hard that I wanted to find something that will make you happ-”

His sentence is cut off by (Y/N) throwing herself into his arms. “Thank you,” She sniffles into the crook of his neck. “You don’t know how much I needed this.” With a concerning look on his face, which the teen obviously can’t see, Spencer pets her back.

“You are welcome, Sweetheart. How does a break sound? I’m sure you took the majority of the day to study. Maybe we can go to the park and have a little picnic and read our books? Doesn’t this sound amazing?” His overly fake enthusiasm is something that reminds him from the time (Y/N) was still a toddler and Spencer had to try and make certain foods sound like they are the best thing you can taste on earth. Just like him, his daughter turned out to be a picky eater.

She looks down at the books and notes strewn over her bedroom floor, seemingly calculating on how long of a break she is able to take. This is what it looks like to Spencer at least.

In reality (Y/N) is unsure if she is able to hide her hypothetical cold from her father, if they do something together for more than ten minutes. You can only so long suppress a cough, trust her, she tried in class the other day. In the end the teacher sent her outside to get some fresh air, because her head turned bright red.

“Uhm, Dad. Actually, can we do that as a little celebratory thing when I’m done with all of this? After the finals?” At that moment she feels her throat closing up again, a tell-tale sign for another cough attack.

Spencer is too engrossed in trying to persuade her to go with him. He knows how much of a workaholic his child is. This is why he needs to watch over her in times like these, when school is extra demanding, with even more care. Overworking yourself isn’t fun. Especially Spencer knows that.

So he puts on his best puppy dog eyes. “Sweetheart, please consider it again. We have nice breezy weather. Not too hot that you’ll sweat, not too cold that you need more than a light jacket. And-and we can make a cool fruit basket and get those candies you like so much. We can read together and tell each other about our books.”

This whole offer does sound like heaven. Spending some good quality time with her father is something the teen has been craving for a bit now. But this cold and the continuous sleep deprivation she has taken herself under in order to get more study time in has worn (Y/N) down. Also, not only her throat is closing up, her nose starts to tickle too. On top of that it seems like Spencer finally starts to see through her facade.

“Really Dad,” She croaks out, “I don’t feel like going out today. Maybe we can do this another time. I can finish up here and we can watch a movie or do something else.” (Y/N) hopes to be able to catch some sleep while watching anything with her father and be able to do another study session after that, being more rested and all.

The father raises his eyebrows, having taken the time in that his daughter spoke and observed the way she is holding herself. Without any explanation he presses his lips onto her forehead. Reading this as a form of showing his affection, (Y/N) leans into his touch. After pulling away, Spencer looks at her with an expression of mixed emotions.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you just tell me that you are sick? You are practically burning alive! Were you scared that I would start hovering again or did- You did it because you don’t want me to make you stop doing this and start looking after yourself, didn’t you?” His head jerks into the direction of all the school material laying on the floor.

Sheepishly she looks down onto her hands. “I just want to do well on my finals. They count into my final grades. Also, I told myself I’m only hypothetically sick.” He takes her hands, making her look up at him. “Sweetheart, you can always retake a final. But you usually don’t get a second try at your own health. You need to learn to prioritize it. And if not for your sake, do it for your father’s. I don’t want to worry about you, when something like this can be easily avoided.” She nods shyly, knowing that trying to keep a facade up makes him more worried than being actually sick.

A sneeze attack ends the little moment the two had between them. “Ok, let’s get you situated on the couch. Then I’ll fetch your mug and medicine from under the bed and make you a new cup of tea and give you something stronger and more fitting for your hypothetical symptoms,.” Spencer helps her get up before gathering her blanket and pillow.

“How do you know about the stuff under my bed?” (Y/N) croaks out while slowly making her way to the living room with her father in tow.

Spencer smiles softly at her, tucking his daughter in after she lays down on the couch. “Sweetheart, I may get old, but I’m your father and a profiler. Reading you is something I have had to do since you were born.” The teen mumbles something that sounds like a “fair enough” while turning the tv on.

A couple minutes later the small family has cozied up on the couch, working on the watch list they curated together for occasions like this.

Being bundled up like that, in the arms of her father, it doesn’t take (Y/N) long to drift off. And Spencer also doesn’t need much longer until he follows her into dreamland.

If you have read this far, please consider giving this a comment or a reblog (or even a commented reblog). Writers are like plants, when you water them (feedback) they start to grow.

Taglist: 

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @venomsvl @jswessie187 @kneelforloki @ssa-uglywhore27

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner @thefandomchoosesthewizard

General Spencer Reid:

@twofacesoftheworldbutnotsome @raythefaye

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x daughter!reader #spencer read x teen!reader #x daughter!reader #x teen!reader #x reader #reader insert #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

#now... #is it extra if i change my theme right before i leave for an indefinite period of time? #... #it's never stopped me before! #also i hate this knock-off twitter layout i wanna burn it all down #why can't i put a real line in my text posts anymore i-- #i take it all back #the tumblr changes are the reason i'm on hiatus #>:| #kspice.text

[merakiui]

Hi Mera, I've read your rules, and it said that you also write for a Male reader, which made me a little bit happy bc it's hard to find good Twst x Male reader content! and I know that most of your followers are female, but I wanted to say that I really like your writing! even if I'm in the minority 👉👈

I especially like your SK Jade! ♡

So I was wondering how different the story might be if Sk Jade's Darling was a Male?? obviously, Male!Darling can't fake being pregnant, so I guess the Surving chances for Male Darling might be lower than Female Darling??

(Even though the thought of Male Darling pretending to be pregnant sounds hilarious! )

unless maybe Male Darling already has a child from a previous relationship? (maybe even with Azul??) Would that make Sk Jade Reconsider? can't have a child growing up without their father!

Anyway, uh, have Nice Day 👉👈

Hi hi!!! I do indeed write for male readers. (And thank you for reading my rules!! :D) I actually have a few requests for a male reader for the Lunar Love Hotel, so I'm eager to get to those! I hope to provide stories that can be enjoyed by many people, so I'm happy you can like my work! Thank you for liking it! :D

As for sk!Jade with a male darling!!! The chances of survival may be low, but even so you're determined to survive like anyone else in that sort of horrific situation. I like to think that with Jade gender doesn't matter. The concept of gender is so uniquely flexible in the ocean, so in his eyes everyone is all the same (everyone is a meal). But convincing him may be a little difficult because you can't use the excuse of being pregnant. Perhaps, rather than a connection to Azul, your chances of survival may increase wonderfully if you have a deep connection with Floyd.

Jade would do a lot of things for his brother. After all, he cares for Floyd and his family always stick together. So your nine months will look different from a female!darling's. Whereas a female!darling is seeing a pregnancy through to the end, a male!darling will likely have to spend those nine months convincing Jade not to kill him and to spare him for Floyd's sake. I like to think Jade gives you nine months not only so you can try to convince him with solid reasoning but also to see how long Floyd's interest in you will last before it begins to wane. So not only are you relying on your persuasion skills (and entertainment skills because if Jade's keeping you alive he's going to want some form of daily amusement; it wouldn't be very fun if you always showed him the same frightened expression. That's just so boring. :/), you have to hope Floyd doesn't tire of you because when he no longer cares for you it allows Jade to make you his meal.

If anything, Jade just doesn't want to break his brother's heart. If Floyd really does like you, it would hurt him if Jade took you away. So he'll let you live for nine months and he'll see if anything changes between you and Floyd in that time. After all, he can only make up so many excuses for where you've disappeared to before Floyd either drops the subject and loses interest entirely or persists in hopes of digging the truth out of him.

#twisted chit chat #serial killer jade #it's essentially the meme where 'look at my lawyer dawg i'm going to jail' #only it's 'look at who i have to put my hope and faith in dawg (referring to floyd) i'm getting killed' >_<

[number1mingyustan]

Moonlight ☾

bandmate!taehyun x fem!reader

Genre: famous!au, fwb!au, smut

Warnings: oral (f.), fingering (f.), brief handjob, protected sex

Summary: You and your bandmate help each other out from time to time.

Word Count: 1.4k

(a/n: no not proofread but for this one imagine txt🤝chase atlantic. also this took so long to write bc i kept changing the plot sorry im indecisive and i still don’t know if i like it 🫡)

“Y/n, for track 6 you and Tae are gonna lead vocals together,” Yeonjun tells you as he hands you a beer.

“What?” you question. “I’ve done backup like twice, why am I lead?”

You’re all seated in Yeonjun’s apartment. You and Beomgyu are seated on the floor in front of the couch. Kai Yeonjun and Taehyun are all on the couch as the 6 of you watch a movie.

“The song needs a female voice and you’re the only girl. So you and Taehyun need to figure out a schedule to rehearse and record or whatever because the managers want it by next Wednesday.”

You turn around, facing Taehyun who’s seated behind you. He gives you a quick glance and a not, mouthing “it’ll be fine.”

You turn back quickly, training your eyes on the screen in front of you. Maybe it really won’t be that bad.

_______________

It ended up being worse than you thought. It was Friday night and you and Taehyun had spent the last hour and a half in his apartment trying to figure out this song.

You had little experience with singing and it was so hard for you to just ‘let go.’ In the band, Kai played drums, Yeonjun on Guitar, Beomgyu on Bass and you on the keys. Taehyun was the lead singer who occasionally played the strings with Yeonjun.

You’d done some backup vocals on songs before, but they were mostly hidden, which was very different than what you were facing now.

It was getting late and you were still struggling. They gave you an entire verse to sing by yourself. You didn’t necessarily sound bad, you simply lacked the confidence and it was reflecting in your performance.

“Hello?” Taehyun snapped his fingers. “Earth to Y/n.”

“Oh,” you say, snapping out of your thoughts. “Sorry.”

Aside from the singing itself, Taehyun’s presence was also making it difficult for you to concentrate. What no one else knew (including your own band mates) was that you and Taehyun had established a relationship that was more than the facade of friendship you two posed.

At least 3 times a week for the last few months you and Taehyun had been hooking up. Your relationship was no strings attached, and purely sexual after one extremely intoxicated night.

Your band had just released your second album and it changed everything. Unexpectedly you guys had blown up literally overnight. Per Yeonjun’s idea a huge party was thrown to celebrate your guys’ new found success. Thus an unnecessary amount of alcohol and drugs consumed, leading to you spending the night with one of your band mates.

With being insanely attractive and now famous, Taehyun alongside the rest of the group started to have fans. And unlike the other members, Taehyun never sought relief in groupies after that night at the party. Because he had you.

Well, partially. Taehyun’s never been the ‘hook up with strangers’ type. He liked familiarity and at least somewhat of a connections with the people he was sleeping with. And when you walked right into his bed, he knew this wasn’t something he wanted to let go of.

Granted, neither of you were looking for a commited relationship of the sort. But the sex was good and you two were comfortable with each other inside and outside of the bedroom.

He kept coming back. What started off as a one night mistake turned into an addiction. The two of you simply couldn’t keep your hands off one another.

“Alright,” he says getting up and walking to the kitchen. He comes back with two waters, handing you one of them. “Think we need a little break.”

You sigh out of exhaustion. “No it’s fine,” you protest. “We can try it one more time, I got it.”

He raises an eyebrow. “It’s getting late, just stay the night and we’ll work on it more tomorrow. You’re clearly exhausted so let’s just get some sleep yeah?”

You fake a gasp. “You really must want me in your bed Mr.Kang.”

He rolls his eyes at you playfully. “Last time I checked it wasn’t difficult to get you there anyway.”

You push him playfully. Your actions take him by surprise, causing him to stumble back. He catches himself, returning the favor and pushing you back. You let out another dramatic gasp, hitting him.

The two of you go back and forth, hitting and shoving one another until you find yourself pinned down on the floor of his apartment. His hands are intertwined with yours as he hovers over your body.

You wriggle beneath him, trying to free yourself of his grasp. Realizing this is a battle you won’t win, you attempt to change the subject.

“Tae,” you breathe. “We have to work on the song.”

He lets out a low chuckle. “Now you wanna work on the song?”

He’s amused nonetheless. He can see right through you.

“Sure you don’t wanna go to bed?” he asks.

Oh shit.

____________________

“Shit Tae,” you hiss.

His face is buried between your thighs. You grip his bedsheets desperately in an attempt to keep yourself grounded. You know how much he hates it when you move around when he’s working his tongue on you.

His tongue is wrapped around your clit, sucking on the sensitive bud as his fingers work wonders on you. He relishes in your taste, overwhelmed with satisfaction from the sheer amount of arousal spilling out of you in such a short amount of time.

You tug at his platinum hair frantically, letting out pleas and whimpers. “More- Fuck I’m so close.”

He looks up at at you, acknowledging your needs with a small smile. He picks up the pace of his fingers, pumping inside of your needy hole just the way you like it. He mumbles a “anything for you.”

Despite carrying the vocals of the group, Taehyun’s knowledge of the stringed instrument came in handy at times like this. Literally.

He allows you to ride out your high on his skillful tongue and fingers. You cry out as the pleasure washed through your body. Your eyes roll back into your head, back arching off the bed as he takes you to another place.

Your eyes flutter open once you finally come down from your high, only to be met with Taehyun’s. He’s hovering over you, ridding himself of his shirt.

“You okay?” he licks his lips.

You nod at him, pulling his face down to meet yours in a needy kiss. He’s quick to reciprocate, kissing you back just as hastily. You reach your hands down, pulling his boxers down enough to let his length spring free.

“Fuck,” he cusses against your lips.

You pump him slowly with an outstretched hand without breaking the kiss. He groans against your lips. His hand taps the dresser adjacent to you, opening it and pulling out a box with minimal movement.

He pulls out a wrapper, finally sitting up and breaking your heated kiss. You lay there breathlessly as he rips open the package and slides the latex down his length.

You feel him slip in, slowly stretching out your insides. Your hands grip his bare body tightly as you feel him full you up.

His body hovers over yours, and it’s not long before you feel him moving inside of you. His thrusts start off slow, gradually picking up in pace.

You were a mess under his touch. Whimpering and moaning incessantly as he fucked you. The moonlight beamed from the uncovered windows, illuminating his skin.

The air around you were crisp and cool, but your body felt like it was on fire. You were particularly sensitive. Every small touch and movement brought you closer to the blissful feeling you so desperately craved.

He groans into your neck, hips faltering in rhythm. You know he’s close too.

It’s not long before you’re crying out his name and squirming beneath him as you ride out your high. Your hips push into his and he feels you tighten around him.

Your movements quickly send him over the edge too. The two of you moan in unison as your orgasms shock waves of pleasure through your bodies simultaneously.

He pecks a kiss on your forehead before getting up to dispose of the now very full condom. He plops down onto the bed next to you, pulling your body into his.

Your fingers find his dyed hair, raking through his soft locs. It’s pretty unusual for you two to be so soft and touchy after sex. It’s rare that either of you have ever bothered to do so much as stay the night.

But for some reason you’re finding an inexplicable amount of comfort from him. It’s quiet, but not awkward. The two of you sinfully enjoy one another’s presence until you fall asleep under the moonlight.

_______________________________________________

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

#txt fanfic #txt #txt smut #kang taehyun #txt taehyun #kpop #taehyun smut

[tomboyyyaoi]

i like the idea of vamery not getting together thru some huge confession of love or release of tension but thru a slow trickle

like one night they get all their feelings out and it starts off thru a misguided confrontation but turns into a more tearful heart to heart about everything theyve been thru and how they feel and how hard it is bc they dont want the other to feel obliged to help and how they can work around it, the chat falls silent and meryl maybe falls alseep and vash carries her to her room when he notices but as he tucks her in and goes to leave she tugs on his shirt and says he can stay and she kind of just lightly tugs him into bed and they just sleep together and hold eachother, nothing serious nothing major but just. in eachothers comfort and company for the night.

from then its just little things, having a small domestic life, they sleep in the same bed every night and always wake up tangled in eachother, its complicated, a little kiss comes a bit later and it snowballs from there, theyr kissing in the morning now, before bed, when meryl comes home.

theyr comfortable with eachothers nudity, showering with the door unlocked and changing in front of eachother.

theyr dancing around actually sleeping with eachother but theyr experimenting with eachothers bodies, theyr touching eachother and seeing whats right and what feels good until the dam breaks and they fuck all night, the i love yous come after, maybe during, it took them months, maybe a year to finally cross the gap

but it stays complicated for a while, it couldnt be so easy, meryl still has ptsd, vash still struggles with insomnia and survivors guilt, theyr both still delicate and cagey about their feelings but they work thru it as best they can

i think thats better than a teary i love you followed by a big kiss then everything being fine

#vashmeryl

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

I’m glad you took a break and are only writing the ideas you want to! ☺️ So it’s totally fine if you aren’t feeling this one but I always need more Quill smut in my life…

Ever since I found out that Peter was swiping on Space Tinder right in front of Bereet in the beginning of Vol. 1 I’ve wanted Slutty!Ravager!Quill x SpaceTinder!Reader. Like you just know he was kind of a jerk back then but he probably also prided himself on making sure you both enjoy it.

-⭐️ 👑

hii!! as I don’t wanna leave you hanging, im gonna give you a few thoughts instead, hope that’s okay! thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

—

quill being a bit of a slut:

peter quill x reader

word count: 403

✧.┊MASTERLIST

— okay so firstly, that mf swiped so hard on you and layed it on THICK in the chat trying to charm you

— he was very funny and charismatic, constantly trying to woo you and make you swoon

— then, he made plans for a date the NEXT DAY!! he was just so eager to see you, quite sweet, really

— he def texted you constantly throughout the night, trying to know more about you, maybe dare I say, trying to get a pic of you (that hurt my heart to type 💔💔 but he was a bit dickish and whorish back then, so it's okay!! it builds character)

— you'd pull his leg a bit and play along, sending a black picture or a screenshot of the loading symbol to make him think you sent but didn't

— you'll sleep peacefully as quill would be restarting his phone, thinking his signal is fucked

— you'll talk again in the morning when you wake up, chatting about your plans for the date later on… and about the non existent photo incident

— he was cute in his pfp, but SO MUCH more handsome in person !! very pretty and charming

— the date went really well!! it all went perfectly, lots of joking, flirting and banter

— maybe you go home with him after (he and it was very very very good) but then he doesn't call back the next day ?!?!?! and kinda leaves you hanging. you're hurt bc you thought the date went well and that you connected etc

— he goes dry and doesn't reply for a while. sorta disappears on you

— you eventually move on, not wanting to be hung up on a guy you were with once

— but then he messages back a few months later, explaining how something happened (the events of vol.1???) and how he doesn't really do second dates and was planning to split after your first meeting

— obviously, you're very hurt and you've moved on (not really) so you take a while to respond

— he tries again, asking to take you out for a drink to make up for his absence

— he wants to see you again, so he does the unthinkable and apologises!! saying he never wanted to hurt you and never expected to meet someone so perfect for him on a dating app, especially so soon

— you accept and go on the date

— many more follow, and you're now happy together !! <3

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

quill taglist: @annielr @spacetalbot @bubblezuku @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @queerponcho @selfryed @traiitorjoe @y4-mama

#request #peter quill #peter quill imagine #peter quill drabble #peter quill x reader #peter quill x you #peter quill x gn reader #peter quill fanfic #peter quill imagines #gotg

[kamiversee]

OKKK SOOO I read the new chapter about two times now. First one was a for funsies then the 2nd was to figure out more shit😭 soooo with my last comment. I feel like I'm not too far from the idea. Again with Geto, at the end it turns out he planned this. Or at least the conversation topic. But another thing that I noticed was, how, in the beginning, Geto didn't really see how we had a connection with Choso until everything clicked to him. Yet he still decided to taunt the living shit outta us. Which in turn, caused the outcome of the chapter. And you can't really say that Geto showed up at the Cafe on purpose because he was surprised to see us too. Another thing, which showed up a few times in the chapter. Was the word "yesterday" idk I feel like it probably doesn't have anything to do with the fic, or the chapter. But it was repeated multiple times. The ending is a big cliffhanger too😭 another thing was with Sukuna, we learn that of course, he treats women really shitty, and I was wondering why he was so sweet with us? I remember he how he gained a small bit of respect for us, but that was abt it. Also, maybe Sukuna does have something to do with this. One thing that I keep thinking about was when after we slept with him, he went to his phone and was messaging someone, or checking his phone. Idk. But a little while after, we get money from Gojo. So maybe he messaged Gojo about it? Bc how else could Gojo have known? HELP I WROTE SO MUCH. BYE LMAOOA I LOVE THIS THOUGH. IT MAKES ME THINK. KEEP UP WITH THE WORK💕💕

Insert Kami yap session:

1. Okay so the date of what took place in the fic is early February on a Monday! Ik sometimes it’s hard to keep track of but yeah, in their university I kinda explained before tht their winter break was roughly two months and a half so they wouldn’t return back to school until mid febuary!

You mentioning the use of the word yesterday just made me wanna clear tht up for some reason😭 Yesterday in her case would be a Sunday and as the story goes, nothing important happened on that day so she just kept using it to emphasize that what was done was quite some time ago and not recent!!

2. Also, Geto was going to be there regardless because he’s the friend Yuki was there to meet ^.^

3. Next, Gojo has once mentioned that Sukuna would like the reader because she’s cute so it’s honestly okay for one to assume that there are certain women Sukuna favors more than others.

Not only that, even when Sukuna and the reader meet, although he danced with her, it was mentioned how she was always intimidated by him & for a woman such as herself, if u notice, intimidation in this fic is always the first emotion felt before fear ^.^

4. While yes Gojo sent money not too long after Sukuna sent some kinda message, it’s also said that Gojo knew she was supposed to be with Sukuna that day & he could’ve simply assumed she did what was needed to be done!

5. TYSM FOR THE LONG MESSAGE I LOVE THEM SMM <3

#kamiversee!answers

[lilacs-world]

I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

#lilacs world #lilacs-world #lilac gets personal #ok to reblog #adulting #adult adhd #adult autistic #mental illness #mental health #dissociative identity disorder #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #vulnerability #pls help #i need feedback #psoriatic arthritis #rheumatoid arthritis #pcos #fibromyalgia #disabled? I’m not sure 😭