#maybe just consider he has a lot of issues writing and sometimes with reading

[citrine-elephant]

what if zane just had implants in his brain to make him think faster (on account of how fast he can move and process the battlefield)

but it was just that meme of "i'm stupid, FASTER"

#borderlands #why did i only think of this like... 3 years later #legit consideration tho... part of my brain still wants to imagine him as a very smart hyper-genius dude #but in lore he's not genius levels #maybe out of impatience #but could we consider he's actually got some literacy problems #im in no way shaming btw! #it's just interesting to think since he was born on pandora #maybe just consider he has a lot of issues writing and sometimes with reading #like he did better than someone like captain but he still struggles #the idea moxxi/marcus had about presenting someone else to fool your enemies #and under/overestimate you #like how apparently he refuses to take baths #just presents himself as this cold and clean genius badass #but he's got adhd and he's stinky and has some learning difficulties #again no shame in it i try to be aware of that with myself + not shaming intelligence #please let me know if i'm saying the wrong things #the post wasn't even about intelligence but i gotta tag-ramble lol #*technically wasn't. memes but was thinking more of processing faster like a computer

[ghouljams]

You mentioned once that Price's demon darling is also named Price and that has had me thinking for like days now. How would her powers work compared to the other demon darlings we've seen? I've been like binge reading all of your series and they are all so good.

Price's demon is fun, because I don't know how he got them. He might have summoned them like Soap did, he might have earned them like Ghost/König, I don't know. But what Price needed in a demon was an interrogator, a negotiator, something that could get the information he needed no matter the price. That's who he got, and he's managed to keep a lid on their existence for as long as he's had them. Mostly because he doesn't want the jokes about the demon sharing his name.

Price's demon's name is subject to change because it's a little confusing to tag.

Sometimes to be the good guy, you have to be the bad guy. Price knows this better than anyone. He knows that the rules of engagement only matter if you get caught, and that war crimes are a dime a dozen where people aren't looking. He knows he's never going to see the pearly gates or come face to face with an angel, he's made his peace with it. At the end of the day the only person he has to be alright with is himself.

And you, of course, but that's a separate issue.

He stands now, in front of what anyone would consider a waste of space. It's a tidy operation, as far as trafficking goes, but the people operating it only ever seem to come in one make and model. Slimey.

The man duct taped to the chair spits on Price's boots, swears at him, doesn't seem to be the least bit cooperative. "Sweetheart," Price calls to the room at large. He knows your here somewhere.

"You know that's not my name," You tell him stepping out of the jagged shadows. You're used to this song and dance by now, done it enough times.

"Then stop responding to it," he tells you with just a hint of fondness in his eyes.

"Maybe I will," you grab the trafficker by the back of his head and force it back, "maybe I'll go to the brass and report you for harassing me."

"Empty threats get us nowhere," Price smiles, watching as you push one of your thumbs against the corner of the man's eye. He flinches and jerks away from you, or tries to. Your grip on him is unyielding. He screams when you pop his eye free from the socket, and sever the nerves with one of your nails.

"Let's see what you've been up to," you mumble, standing and tossing the eye into your mouth. It pops like jelly under the sharp points of your teeth, and you pick through the visual data for what you need. Codes, passwords, people he saw, documents signed, maps and transportation logs. You're careful to carve your findings into the man's chest so you don't forget. Dragging your nail through his skin, writing with blood and flesh. Price hands you his phone and you take a picture to send to Laswell.

"Eardrums next," Price tells you.

"No, please, I can talk, I'll tell you what you want to know." The man begs. You twist his head to the side and lengthen your nails.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but your participation isn't really necessary," You dig your nails into his ear canal like needle nose pliers. Maybe you should've eaten his voicebox first, see what he's been saying, it would've made this process a lot quieter.

When you're finished the man is full if holes and you're full of intel. Price hands you a towel to wipe your hands off, and scrub the blood from your lips. He catches you when you turn away from the body, takes the towel to get a last streak of blood off your cheek.

"Good work Price," he hums, you grin.

"Thank you Captain." He says your name so rarely, you try to enjoy it when he does. You hook your fingers in his tac vest to pull him closer. His eyes dart to your lips, but when you lean in to kiss him he leans back.

"We're still working sweetheart," his fingers stroke your cheek to keep you from pouting.

"Later then?" You ask.

"After you've brushed your teeth," he agrees. You gasp in mock offense, and he smiles. You have a long day ahead of you.

#demon!darlings au #john price mw2 #john price x reader #captain john price #john price x oc #x oc #oc: Price #its so weird writing Price and Price lol #demon price only gets nicknames because it makes Price feel like hes married to say her name #tw gore #tw eye horror #tw torture

[sleepinginpanic]

I feel like if Charlie had actually ran as himself and not Gegg than he would be winning in a landslide. He’s so smart and actually makes such great points, the only problems are the bits he has committed to.

Because he has to only use signs and only say a few words at a time, his freedom of speech is very limited making it harder to make his points. He has to constantly be writing things down and if no one decides to read what he wrote it can be completely ignored. Seen when he was trying to argue with Celbit and him just not reading any of the signs (mostly because he was busying arguing with others at the time and probably just didn’t notice them.) Charlie has a really good voice it’s strong and he’s very charismatic. We’re not seeing a lot of that with Gegg though, Gegg’s voice isn’t commanding like Charlie’s can be, it’s scratchy and hard to understand (which is the point but still) it makes it difficult to want to listen to it. Charlie has played several characters and has the ability to make his voice very loud, or threatening as well as soft and very happy go lucky. This can be very beneficial for his campaign as he can participate in the debates more.

The other bit is the whole we are Gegg thing, which I understand is more of a we are all one but it comes off as weird, kinda culty. It just struggles to come across as Charlie wants it to because of Gegg, his constant referring to stuff as Gegg-something or something-Gegg makes it hard to understand the point. If Charlie wasn’t Gegg then this point could be better construed.

The last bit that really damns him is the whole burn the world. If toned down a little of not the whole world but mostly the government then it might come better across or at least explained better. Also by him running as Gegg a lot of people have taken it as a joke, meaning they might not even consider Gegg to be a real opinion.

On the other hand if Charlie has run as himself it would make winning harder too, especially when going against the others.

People shut up when Gegg gets his turn because he writes it all down, if it was just Charlie speaking there is a lot more of a likelihood that he will be talked over or interrupted like the other candidates.

Also being an egg gives him more of a sense of security, despite everyone knowing that he’s Gegg, they still treat him like an egg when it comes to certain things. They jump to his aid a lot faster and have more of an instinct to protect him.

Maybe it’s Charlie himself or Gegg but a lot of people also just go with the bit with him. He’s funny to them and it makes them play along more. No one’s calling out the whole burn the world thing because it funny, it’s this little egg that wants to burn shit. It makes his actions less questionable.

All together both of them have their ups and downs. Which is why it would have been cool to have them be co runners. In all actuality it would be hard to pull of especially with Charlie not wanting people to know he’s Gegg but if they could have Charlie sometimes talk in his actual voice at least for arguing parts or explaining things better it would be a lot more helpful. Listening to Charlie talk to BBH and seeing how easy Charlie seemed to get him on the same page makes me think if Charlie was talking then they could convince a lot more people of their standing.

Also I wish that they would have everyone speak in their actual languages and have the translators fixed. It would solve a lot of issues. People would most likely listen more and they have to read what’s said like with Gegg and it makes it more comfortable for those who don’t speak English. It’s hard to get points across when you don’t know the right words.

#charlie slimecicle #qsmp #qsmp slimecicle #slimecicle #gegg #gegg 2023 #qsmp gegg #qsmp elections #qsmp debate

[mayullla]

( Heyyyy so i've had issues with my ask's so i'm sorry if you already received this [ its happened across tumblr ] if so feel free to ignore me )

But Hey Mayulla! i was reading your writing for the 13 step brothers AU and | really enjoyed the one where she had a crush! So | was thinking]

What is she actually got a byofriend??

Like imagine she got a boyfriend and her boyfriend is like an only child, that would be interesting he's like ' :0 ' when he finds out she has like 13 step brothers.

And what if she kept it a secret as well?

Like with how they reacted when she has a crush on a guy they'd sure react 100x more extreme. So she keeps it a secret so their relationship is more clam because she's like 100% sure they'd like spy on their dates and stuff or like try to intimidate him??

But what if they found outtttt

Like they all accidentally find out when they go to some fancy restaurant for ' bonding time’ and they're all talking and Xiao just points at them and they see her on a date

I feel the calmer ones ( Zhongli, Diluc, Albedo, Thoma, Xiao, Chongyun and Bennet) are like ' is that really [ name ]? | think they'd be shocked and wonder why she didn't tell them ( Definitely Xiao and Zhongli ).

The Cheeky but clam ones ( Keaya, Kazuha and Ayato ) would be like ' Oh? Is that our little sister there? With a boy?? | feel they'd just find the situation interesting and wouldn't really be to bothered by the situation. But they definitely would be the type of intimidate her boyfriend if they ever has a dinner together.

Then you have the hyper-active ones ( Childe, Venti and Itto ) Venti would like dramatically pretend to faint and then start quietly sniffing and fake crying. Itto would be like asking Ayato or something if he knows anything about the guy or something. Then Childe would be like trying to walk over to then but Diluc would be holding him down.

I can only imagine what would happen when they confront her and her boyfriend cones over

Don't worry about it, I did receive it but it took a while to answer, so it is also my fault too really ^^' But dear this is totally adorable and yes that is probably what is gonna happen lmao

This is more elementary like grade 1 or 2 reader or maybe kindergarten but I don't think she would really be proficient in lying if she is still so young. If she is still young like in elementary still, how reader would lie is essentially someone (probably Childe or Thoma, and to a certain point I am willing to bet on Diluc) asking you how your day was only to suddenly be ignored as you looked elsewhere but him. Poor man, the guy would be wondering what has he ever done to you. The smarter ones would know that something was up. (Zhongli, Ayato, Kaeya)

But somehow you avoided that whole situation and oh! you have a date at the playground later but you were not allowed to go there cause the boy you liked lived a little farther than your nearest playground. So you need to ask someone to take you there, and you can't just ask any brother! It would feel like you admitting to doing a no-no that Zhongli told you not to do like being friends with bad kids or touching a cigarette!

So you have to think if who to ask, Zhongli and Childe were definitely a no. Ayato would ask too many questions and in the end, you will never go there! Most of your brothers have school or uni and you can't bother them. Thinking you were heading to the kitchen when you saw Kaeya on the huge living room sofa relaxing with a white tee and gray joggers on.

"Oh, out from your room? Are you hungry? My workplace brought a lot of snacks and wasn't able to finish everything so they gave me some." Looking at your laid-back brother Kaeya, you considered him. He never reacted too hugely to anything you said, sure he would tease you sometimes but he was always willing to help you out. So you took your chance.

Kaeya definitely didn't miss this opportunity to tease you pinching your cheek and asking when you have grown so much to have a boyfriend now. But when you asked him why he had got up all of a sudden, he told you that he can't be taking you to your date only in joggers.

Really brother Kaeya is the best!

It was really a playdate at this point when you got to the ice cream place near another playground. The boy was waiting for you with his mom saw you and waved as you waved back with Kaeya right behind you.

While you and the boy played with each other Kaeya and the boy's mom chatted with each other and at the end of the day when the sun was going down you finally went back home. (the boy's mother's face was definitely not red dear...) In your hand is a small wildflower you picked at the side of the playground that you showed to Kaeya. "Oh, why did you give this to your little boyfriend?" Kaeya asked teasingly, the car still didn't start as you were beside him putting the flower on his hair. "Cause you are my favorite!"

Kaeya definitely laughed asking if you were trying to convince him to help go to your next date which you just grinned. "My little sister is starting to act a lot like me." Kaeya joked ruffling your hair.

You guys were caught at one point, but it didn't really matter. Kaeya had become the person you often go to tell him your secrets to even as you grow older. So when you became old enough to go on dates by yourself, while everybody was shocked as you walked away holding a boy's hand not even noticing them at the small cafe Kaeya can't help but smirk as he watched his brothers. After all, he already knew.

Tho Kaeya won't always there when you came back home only to be confronted by everyone. Kaeya didn't help you much as you try to explain yourself to them. If you were gonna keep a secret from the family you better know that if you were caught he won't be saving you from everything.

(You giving him puppy dog eyes won't be helping your situation either.)

Note: I definitely went off topic there lol i really just can't help myself when it comes to ask sometimes TvT

#genshin 13 stepbrothers au #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin ask #genshin writing #genshin platonic #platonic fluff #genshin fluff #genshin modern au #genshin drabbles #fem reader #child reader #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin found family #found family #genshin fanfic #genshin kaeya

[granulesofsand]

If this ask is too upsetting then you can leave it alone for a while. Bodily we are an adult. We do not want to intrude in the space of RAMCOA survivors but this has been on our mind for a few months. TWS: Sexual, physical and emotional abuse, BDSM, lots of kinks. We've been abused by two different people in our life, both were minors around our age at the time. The first one was coercive for sure but we don't think he had any sort of complex plan. He would hit and insult us in front of friends, and flashed us a few times when we were alone. Second abuser was our ex, had more access to us due to us dating. They didn't know we have DID and we didn't know at the time either. This is where we suspect possible programming happened; even though they weren't aware of our condition there was a lot of focus on control and different roles. Even before we were officially together they "introduced" us to a lot of BDSM concepts, mainly through writing smut with us. When we started dating, they started actually acting on those concepts though. Almost always they were the "dom/top" while we were the "sub/bottom". Some of us tried to fight back and were punished while others gave in entirely. Which led to us developing a lot of alters dedicated to specific sexual "tasks", so many that I believe we've just barely scratched the surface on member count. The list of stuff they made us do (aside from "traditional" lesbian sex) included breath play, pet play, impact play, and watersports. Just to maintain some privacy I won't say how long this went on for, but we were both (older) minor teens and it lasted long enough to be a clearly established pattern. The persecutors will randomly re-enact trauma, both inwardly and outwardly. Even if we try to resist at first there is NO way out of it. The reenactments will happen and we just have to weather the storm. tldr; Abusive ex used BDSM as a means on control, questioning if we were programmed or mind controlled somehow.

Thanks. -🐊

Bare-Bones Programming

Always important to say that we are not experts on your experience, and the information we provide is ultimately for your decision.

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, SA, programming and deprogramming

Programming has two basic requirements:

The perpetrator(s) intend to control you

By creating self-states or conditioning self-states to cues

The second situation you described sounds like it aligns pretty neatly with that. It’s not as extensive as what a group or a practiced programmer might produce, but there are bits of advice aimed towards survivors that might help you.

Members who have ‘jobs’ or ‘tasks’ or similar are a fair indication of Mind Control, and it might serve to ask who assigned them this task, even if you already have an inkling. Their responses will determine whether they feel the obligation to the perp or themselves.

What to Do

The first step towards decreasing reenactment is guidelines. Establish for every member a set of standards, most negotiable and some required. Maybe y’all agree to clean up your own messes (negotiated and with exceptions) and understand that no member engages sexually before discussion (required).

This sets a clear precedent for what is expected and what members agree to when they interact with one another and the world. Sometimes it’s a matter of not knowing, and with practice the issue is no longer. It’s not likely everything is solved like this, but better to start early.

Next is demonstrating healthy interactions. Many collectives prefer to start outside, to gain experience they don’t already have. A friend is a good goal, someone y’all trust or a few people certain members confide in.

If it’s not too big a trigger, look into consensual BDSM. Start with reading, maybe novels or SFW explanatory websites to avoid too much resemblance to trauma.

Not every collective feels secure enough with each other to do this, but consider having two members with matching preferences to try a safer encounter. One member could also practice on their own if that’s preferable, or with a predetermined safe outside person.

Experiencing more non-abusive (or less abusive, but file that away until you’ve failed with other methods) BDSM— and plain sexuality— provides more data to work off of in the future. A truly healthy scenario may take time, but even lots of breaks and slow-going is better than remaining where you are.

None of these are required, but sexual reenactment is not fun. You could always start with something like sharing (or not sharing) food or belongings to get in some basis of consent without including relationships or sex.

With that or as an alternative, work on shame and disgust. Shame is what you feel for yourself, disgust is what you feel towards another. This could look like positive affirmations, telling or writing down stories you haven’t yet, getting to know members without judgement.

I don’t remember who said it, but there’s a phrase: “Hating having others doesn’t have to mean hating the others”. Not every collective has the phobia of other members, but it is well-documented and a necessity to overcome for teamwork.

Later

There are methods of working through memories and integrating them, maybe to remove barriers between members or fuse them. It helps take steam out of flashbacks and urges, putting a memory together.

It takes trust, though, and a willingness to work with and support other members. Once you make progress with those, you can decide together how to proceed.

You can find resources on the Legion System’s TikTok LinkTree, no account required to get there on a web browser.

Some are pushy for fusion or integration, and there is a theme of brokenness. We found Safe Passage to Healing and Becoming Yourself helpful. They do have good information, but take breaks and skip what you have to.

I hope that helped, even if it was maybe one paragraph of the question you actually asked.

#ramcoa #tw ramcoa #tw cocsa #tw sa #ramcoa programming #did osdd #osddid #adaptive system

[lucky-draws]

scholarly article: maria silent hill.

uhhmm i feel like ive got a lot of maria thoughts that have been floating in my head for ages and they need to escape captivity. this isn't structured analysis though this is just me trying to explain why i like her in a rambling and disorganised manner. (and sort of hoping it might help me to do some art or something.)

the obvious thing that makes maria such an interesting character is that she's not Real...she's the product of james' imagination (at least, that's one interpretation..) ...she's an idea, a symbolism, a hallucination, a ghost, whatever. but in born from a wish, you get to play as her, you get to hear her thoughts, you experience her and she feels as "real" as any other playable character, and it's like. its just so so good, because she's a self-aware unalive girl and there's so much to explore regarding her sense of self, and her sense of identity. like.

she has no past, no memories. or does she? does she have mary's memories, or tastes, or habits, or was she "born" as a blank slate? there's so many different ways to think of her, but in the case of her being a product of james' mind as a kind of idealised version of mary/expression of his sexual repression, i like to think that some of james' desires manifest in her, like maybe she has this kind of restless energy, a restless hunger/desire that she can't really control or finds it hard to suppress. idk its hard to articulate. ( listen to sister of night by depeche mode if you like because that is a song that makes me think hoh....this is maria ! )

and the whole thing of her knowing that she only exists in james mind/because of james. she tries to cling on to him, tries to convince him that "i'm always here for you, james!" because she knows that as a figment of his imagination, if he decides he doesn't want her anymore, she will just cease to exist. james is her "creator" basically. she's at his mercy.which is a horrible and tasty dynamic. and i just enjoy the whole thing of can she break free of him; can she break free of her connection to him, to mary, can she develop thoughts and feelings and desires that are entirely her own. could she become a "real" person. does she want to? she knows she's a ghost; but when she decides not to kill herself, is that out of a desire to live or resignation to the fact that she can't die? she's an incredibly lonely character.

(also if you've ever seen tarkovskys solaris or read the book maybe you will understand me when i compare her to the character of hari i.e. an apparition/hallucination who possibly becomes/believes she becomes real. idk. unalive girls who become alive even though its sort of not possible. i just enjoy them. )

i also have a very specific sort of canon-divergence flavour of idea related to the rebirth ending and in a sort of maria x mary way; my vague imagining is that james succeeds in bringing mary back to life, through the ancient Powers of the town or whatever. but there's a catch, so to speak; maybe the town demands that for a life to be reborn, a life has to be taken, and so james um. conveniently for shipping purposes. dies. but mary lives, and so does maria, because the mysterious and tricky town considers her to be inseperable from mary/kind of the same person, so they both end up alive and in silent hill. which opens up so many issues like. how does maria come to terms with looking at someone who is her copy (and vice versa.).

does mary even want to be alive? maybe she isn't "properly" alive; maybe she's just a ghost like maria. maybe james isn't really dead; maybe they're both existing as products of both his imagination and the town's influence; either way, now there's two unalive girls in an empty, monster-filled town. and it's like do they hate each other are they just sad ghosts together do they have gay sex sometimes we just dont know. i wanted/still kind of want to write fic about this idea in some form or other but so far i just haven't really managed to find time or braincells but maybe i still can at some point.

of course, there are other ways of interpreting maria; i've seen the theory that actually, she's the product of mary's desires; she's who mary wants to be, an idealised mary who isn't sick. and maybe she felt some kind of repression or opression being with james. and it certainly fits the "born from a wish" title very well; a wish to be healthy, a wish to be free. who knows. that idea is equally tasty and fascinating, really, but i only have room in my tiny mind for one interpretation so im kind of just leaning for now towards her being born from james' mind intstead . so uhm.

conclusion: she's just so so fascinating to me and she rotates in the back of my mind 24/7. i love sh2 and i looove born from a wish its sooo interesting to be able to play as someone like maria.

also she's sexy .

the end.

#silent hill #sh2 #maria silent hill #this is so long SORRY LOL #just trying to write down my thoughts and understandings of her rly

[batbeato]

What are your thoughts on genderbending characters, particularly in regards to Umineko?

It's one of my favorite tropes, but I know that a lot of people don't feel comfortable with it, whether they find it disrepectful to the lgbtq+ communities or some other reason. Likewise, though, if not done with care in regards to a character's personality and circumstances, the opposite - making an au where a character (who isn't canonically, or it isn't known) is transgender - can be equally offensive.

Considering the matter of a person's physical sex, the interpretation of gender in Umineko, I'm curious how you would perceive it - especially since both 'tropes' can be used in tandem - and 1) I really really liked the way you portrayed Jessie and Yukari's situation in the story carries on' and 2) the fem Black Battler fic. Poor Battler, but Still. It was good!

I figured if anyone knew how to handle the matter tactfully, and in respect to the characters personality's and the situation, and the topic of being transgender vs outright genderbending, it would be you.

With genderbending I feel like it depends on context, what you want to do with it, and what you do with it. (Also I'm glad you liked those fics!)

In a lot of WTC works, characters have interesting relationships with gender (and sometimes sexuality) that can make genderbending more complicated. For example, genderbending Jessica to be a guy can be interesting. She feels pressured to get a boyfriend, but also feels like the reason why she doesn't have one is because she's too tomboyish and abrasive. She also has to deal with her mother wanting her to be a proper lady and find a nice (read: wealthy and powerful) husband for her. If Jessica was a man, 'he' may have more similar experiences to George - the looming prospect of an arranged marriage, the expectation to be the family Head rather than to marry man to be the Head, etc. His attitude may be construed as general laziness or lack of interest rather than tomboyish behavior. If someone is just drawing art of what they think a genderbent Jessica would look like, they don't need to delve into these aspects, but if someone wanted to write about Jessica, they'd need to consider these things.

This also becomes more complicated when you want to do ship content with a genderbend, because how the characters may be different would interact with how they see each other and potentially affect their dynamic. For example, Beatrice/Sayo's attraction to Battler may take on new rich connotations if Battler is a woman and not a man, or if Sayo conceptualized Beatrice as a male sorcerer rather than a female witch.

With regards to genderbends, I really like seeing art of them! And it would be nice to see more writing, too. I think people become worried about them because of how they can be used to erase the queerness of mlm or wlw ships, but I've known friends who like genderswapping their wlw ships to wlm from time to time. In the end I think we can't toss the trope out in general, or even when it's a mlm/wlw -> wlm swap, because sometimes people just want to explore things. Something being wlm can mean that they're still queer - bisexual, pan, etc. - but maybe in a different way.

...People also probably remember the "what if the story was all the same except this character was a GIRL" stories that had a lot of self-insert action, stereotypes, and poor writing from the olden days of fandom. But I think that's a quality and writing issue, not a general genderbend issue.

As for a character being transgender, I think it also needs to be done with care and thought put into it, the same way a genderbend might need. If a character is transgender, how will others feel about it? What sort of medical care will they be able to receive in their setting? Will they be closeted, socially transition, etc.? Depending on the setting, it might not be possible for that character to receive gender-affirming care. It might not even be possible for that character to "pass" as the gender they identify as. And that needs to be considered.

For example, if someone has a trans headcanon for an Umineko character, the character may need to leave Japan to receive surgery (I actually found an interesting paper while googling about this). If they're one of the younger characters, like Battler, one needs to consider if their parents will fund or approve, as they would not be able to access gender-affirming care without them. How would other members of the Ushiromiya family - which is shown to hold to strict gender roles and uphold capitalistic, cissexist, patriarchal ideals - react to someone transitioning?

...More specifically with Umineko is if someone wants to genderbend Sayo or one of their personas. I think that can be a difficult task, because of how complex Sayo's gender is, but I don't think it's impossible or should be disallowed, so long as people are willing to delve into the complexities of what it would mean for any particular genderbend. I'm not entirely sure about the idea of CAFAB Sayo transitioning to masculinity, due to how AFAB Sayo was used to make BeaBato and WillLion as cishet as possible in the past, but I think that so long as such a headcanon is coupled with queer exploration it's fine, albeit a bit touchy for me (perhaps a more subjective worry than objective, though).

For an example of a possible Sayo genderbend, bending Beatrice to be a man could be used to delve into more Sayo-Kinzo parallels, or conceptualize a more masc-leaning, or genderfluid, or nonbinary depiction of Sayo.

...In the end it's just about doing what you like, not minimizing the queer aspects as a result, and exploring what would happen if a character was a different gender all along or was transgender. It's about putting the work in to make me believe in you and your respect for the cast.

#umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #umineko spoilers #genderbend #i treasure the ancient beabato genderbend arts a lot actually #thinking about them in particular and playing with gender can be very fun #there's a lot of potential in the trope

[tuliprry]

cloudburst 4

summary: preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn; y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

warnings: violence sort of?, emotional pain, angst

word count: 3k

clover's notes: i listened to a lot of life support by sam smith while writing if u wanna listen while u read :-)

part 1 part 2 part 3

harry and y/n ended up agreeing to take things slow, they started hot and heavy and.. breaking up an engagement which was the only thing on y/n’s mind, feeling guilty that maybe she fell in love with harry in the middle of her relationship and was separated for two weeks and already spending 24/7 kissing and being with him. the good part of this was knowing harry would always listen to her and her worries, something her last relationship lacked and she never wanted to see out of wanting it to work out.

a long talk with her therapist seemed to clear things up a bit, various of y/n’s issues were deeply rooted in her mum’s illness and consequently her loss, y/n has a thing for never putting herself first, losing part of her life to take care of her mother, not that y/n considers lost but she never took time to heal from that time, she was studying and travelling back home every weekend, spending every second finding ways to commute, learning about medications even though she failed biology, terribly. bathing her mum, doing groceries, cleaning and reaching a moment of exhaustion because her life was slipping through her fingers, meeting tony was good for her, she loved him, he was there for her… then her mum passes, and y/n’s break didn’t happen still, taking joey in, finding a job, planning a wedding, finishing school, working as a barista.. harry ended up being her break, his unfunny jokes, cloud sweaters and cleaning snot off children’s noses every single time, sat with her at lunch and read the same books she did, liked her lunches and drove her home if it was raining. things with tony weren’t exactly good from early on in their relationship and y/n would never even imagine he was cheating on her, he was known around the university for being a womaniser and dating every freshman and y/n thought she could fix him, as cringy as that sounds, really did think they would end up married and in a big house and kids but the universe had other plans and deep down y/n feels more than okay that she never had a baby with tony.

“i fear that i might’ve accidentally turned harry into a rebound or worse.. a way to heal my trauma and i don’t want that because i think i really love him, it’s like i run out of breath when i see him, he’s the best part of my day, he likes my lemon cookies and always sticks a star on my forehead after eating them, like we give the stars to kids when they did good, i really don’t want to fuck it up, i just don’t want to fuck up. not this, not him. and i turn 24 tomorrow and i hate thinking about another birthday without my mother.”

the little 4 people friend group was the first time y/n didn’t feel alone nor lonely, even though she always had joey, sometimes she did feel terribly alone in the entire world, like somehow she just wasn’t enough to have friends like she would see others have… but that changed when niall was introduced in her life, a music student that spilled his coffee on his laptop and immediately panicked in café nero, y/n and niall have been friends since she cleaned an entire table with baby wipes and told niall it was all gonna be okay,  niall was the first friend she made, not even knowing he was the guy that stopped her moment with harry for the first time, they just clicked. then joey moved to london and y/n met harry, connecting the dots that niall was the loud flatmate that spent too much time watching reality tv and that’s how her most special friend group came to be, the 3 most important people in her life. tony didn’t really take part in their friendship, except for the one time tony got invited to play golf by his boss and y/n said she would go only if she could take her friends so she wouldn’t be alone, other than that, everything was the 4 of them, game nights of niall buying every possible house in monopoly and harry effortlessly winning at scrabble. joey was more of a cards against humanity girl, making really great jokes that left y/n screaming “JOEY U DON’T SAY THAT” 10 times in a night, as for y/n she’s the best at charades, she guesses 00’s films like no one else, which brings her a fuzzy feeling to her heart.  

so it’s more than important that falling in love with harry wasn’t a mistake, that what he said about destiny was real and she wouldn’t lose him, she didn’t want to admit that losing tony because of her miscarriage was a pain that she could barely even think about, afraid that what if it happens again.

“do you think i’m mad?” 

“i don’t think you’re mad, y/n, you went through major loses that aren’t easy to overcome, there are more people going through the same feelings as you and it’s okay to feel scared, lonely and like you’re going mad, but you’re not, you took the first step, asking for help and that is incredibly brave. i guarantee you, i’m here to help and make things easier, i won’t judge or say “well maybe u shouldn’t have done that” i’ll try and guide you within your own terms and your own pace. consider me as a tool, an extra help to face what makes you feel pain.”

“i didn’t think therapy would be so safe, thank you dr. levi”

✶

y/n got to her apartment around 40 minutes after her session ended, feeling genuinely good with sharing what was weighing on her heart, joey and pickles were napping in the sofa, the tv was on mute but the great british bake off was on, y/n grabbed the letters on the hallway table, frowning tony’s name written all over them. 

harry

— hey, niall and i are going out later, want to come?

y/n smiles at harry’s name popping on her phone and asking to hang out, she places her phone on the same table and walks over to the sofa to gently wake joey up, y/n nudges her shoulder a little bit, “joey wake up” she whispers, her hand reaching pickles that was now loudly purring to the sight of y/n, “joeeeeey! c’mon” y/n insists, “y/n if the world isn’t ending please let me sleep” joey snaps back, without opening her eyes, “okay, then i’ll go out with harry and niall by myself”, joey opens her eyes and goes quiet for a second, “okay, maybe i’ll get up” the younger sister groans and holds pickles, smooching her. “how was therapy?” she asks, sitting in a more comfortable position, “well, weird at first but it felt nice to talk to someone that knows how to help” y/n explains, “you? how was your day?”, joey groans again, “it was normal, i came home and took a nap and now you’re here and you’re making us dinner… right?”, “right but you’re helping so get your ass off the sofa, please” y/n demands and joey gets up, dragging her feet across the living room into the kitchen, “so do i tell harry yes?”, “well obviously”. 

y/n

— yes! joey and i are in. meet us downstairs? 

harry

— yes, 11pm works for you? 

y/n

— perfect xx

✶

the pub was their usual hanging out spot, (that wasn’t y/n’s place), so y/n and joey knew already that harry and niall were at the booth in the back and likely arguing over manchester united and whatever team was playing against them, harry noticed y/n walking in, wearing long bell bottom white jeans a white top with sleeves that almost looked like angel wings, white as well, he thought her boobs looked absolutely perfect in it, he could already smell the chamomile body butter y/n always carries with her, he instantly gets up, looking at the soon-to-be birthday girl with so much love on his eyes, his chest almost hurt. harry has spent the entire day on edge, teaching was hard, focusing on children’s needs was even harder, looking at y/n most of the time and wondering how she did it, look angelic as she bottled up the weight of her and her sister’s life on her heart, reading stories about mothers without shedding a single tear, he thought he could never be in her shoes, he actually couldn’t even picture a world without his mum right there for him. 

then he sees her, walking in, glowing, still so beautiful. 

his mind is going at an absurd speed, he wants to wish her a happy birthday, kiss her, hand her the bag with her birthday present, order a really strong drink so he won’t kiss her like he’s her boyfriend and beg niall to please shut up about the football game on the tiny television, all at the same time. he always thought of himself as a peaceful person, no dramas, keeping his life lowkey and leave the drama for his goddaughter’s plays..

and then he sees her, an angel-like hurricane with a sweet smile and sad eyes, still so beautiful.

a cloudburst is an extreme amount of precipitation in a short period of time, sometimes accompanied by hail and thunder, which is capable of creating flood conditions.

and that’s exactly what she is, his cloudburst.

✶

it’s past midnight, niall made the entire pub sing happy birthday to y/n and is now trying to get free shots for the 4 of them to honour y/n 24th birthday. y/n is now opening joey’s birthday gift, a rug that reads “i hope you like taylor swift and cats”, making y/n chuckle and realise this is actually a gift for the both of them, their house. “i love it joey! thank you” y/n exclaims, hugging her sister in the small booth soda they’re both sat on, niall rushes in with the shots and places them in front of us, “drink drink drink” he shouts and we all drink up, he continues to speak right after, “open mine now!” he hands y/n a poorly wrapped gift with too much tape but clearly a vinyl from the shop he works at, y/n lets out a squeal as she tears the wrapping paper, unveiling a vintage billy joel vinyl with the songs “only the good die young” and “vienna”, her eyes fill to the brim with tears, “oh my god! niall this is.. wow” she cries out, “harry helped me out a little” niall confesses giving y/n a timid smile, “thank you both, for real”, she cleans the tears from her face and gently places the vinyl back in the bag. “um” harry coughs a little, “remember when little jenny brought that squishmallow horse that had my name and you said you’d also love to carry me around?” harry asked as his hands gripped onto the paper bag, jenny was a 4 year old they had in their class last year and moved to ireland during the summer, giving very teared goodbyes to y/n and harry and swearing she would never forget them. she had a squishmallow she would constantly bring to class, a little horse named harry, y/n jokingly said she would love to carry harry around all the time as well and harry never forgot that. 

“you got me harry the horse?”

“i also got you something else but yes”

“you got me harry the horse!”

harry handed the brown paper bag with a green lace bow and y/n unwrapped it as fast as she could, hugging the horse squishmallow the minute she got it out of the bag, “oh i love him!”, harry smiled to himself, proudly of the well chosen gift, “there’s more” he points to the bag, a normal people copy, y/n furrowed her eyebrows, they had read the book and watched the series so she was confused as why was harry gifting her a book they had read together. “harry? what?” her voice trembled a little, not wanting to sound confused, “open it y/n” he says, still smiling to himself”

“to y/n, 

may all your friends work so hard on getting books signed like this friend did,

sally rooney” 

“what the fuck harry? what the fuck!”

it didn’t take long for the four of them to agree to go back yo y/n’s place as they usually did, mostly because y/n mentioned she had weed at home and all of them wanting to relax for a minute or two, (the whole night actually), niall and joey were still finishing their drinks as y/n and harry were paying the group bill, to their defence what happened next was totally taken out of context to what they were actually doing. harry’s arm was wrapped around y/n’s waist, his hand grabbing her hip firmly, small talk with the barista whose birthday was also today, talking a little bit about each other without giving too much info, y/n’s head ended up resting against harry’s arm as she couldn’t reach his shoulders even with the high heels she has on. “i see you replaced me, easily” a voice coming from behind the couple echoes through y/n, feeling the microwavable mac and cheese coming to her mouth and shivers down her spine. it was tony. harry’s grip on y/n’s hip was now tighter, being the only source of minimal comfort right now, the couple turned around without letting go of each other, “you were the one that cheated on me, remember?” y/n retaliates, feeling her muscles tensing up, “i have no guarantee that you weren’t fucking him behind my back, after all you’re a whore for a man that gives you any attention”. 

the next was a blur for y/n, harry lets go of her and his fist travels right to tony’s nose, harry doesn’t know what has gotten into him but there’s a stranger holding tony before he could make a punch back to harry and niall in front of harry.. all in seconds, making y/n stand there a bit in shock, just staring at them. joey is cursing out tony but y/n can’t hear a thing, it’s muffled, the only sound is her heart pounding onto her chest like it’s about to get out through her mouth along with the mac and cheese and the shots of tequila and dirty martinis with extra olives. 

“harry what happened?”

·

“he called her a whore and i lost it” 

·

“let’s go home”

·

“y/n?”

·

“i hate that bitch”

the walk back home was eternal for y/n, her house that was 5 minutes by foot from the pub, seemed 5 hours away, the fears of leaving her partner and thinking she was somehow using harry rang in her brain like hell, all of them spoke up, saying they hated tony and she was better off without him, harry tried to touch her but she brushed him off, walking ahead of them but able to hear them, none of it made sense, why her truest relationship had to be with a man she couldn’t have and now that she does her past comes to haunt her and call her a whore.

y/n feels the same about harry, that he had a peaceful life with routines and good relationships until he met her, a hurricane that came and destroyed his life with a kiss, y/n feels unworthy of him, she talks shit about people and holds grudges even if people are now buried, y/n wishes she was much more, that she was the one that sat through war with him, built a family with him, be much more than she actually feels that she is. y/n feels like her white canvas has been painted black, more swipes covering that could’ve been a masterpiece, harry holds the brushes with pastels and brights, making her canvas a less sad piece to look at.. but what if that is never enough? what if all this love in her heart will pass? what if she isn’t his life support? what if she’s no one’s life support?

she doesn’t realise she’s sitting on the doorstep of her apartment, crying her heart out in harry’s arms until she opens her eyes again, she doesn’t really know what her brain is doing to her and at this point, it’s the only veil harry wants to uncover.

✶

it’s now four in the morning, y/n and harry haven’t slept, niall and joey passed out on the sofa after sharing a blunt and pickles is asleep at the end of y/n’s bed. maybe it was the alcohol making y/n sharing all of her thoughts to harry, that was taking in 24 years worth of pain and agony in one night and to him she was still beautiful, the cracks and flaws in her only made her more beautiful, more perfect just for him. 

“i love that you’re a hurricane, y/n. i thought i was going to live a boring life and you’ve shown me my future story is full. i don’t want you to think you’re not honourable enough for me because you are, i love every single thing you tell me, i love that you want me to be your family and to expand it.. because if i’m being honest joey feels already like my little sister, you’re already my family, my life.. and i want it all, even if you need more time. i want it all”

“all of it?”

“every single drop of you”

“you’re insane harry”

“and you’re my cloudburst.”

taglist: @psicostyles@behindmygreyeyes@your-local-lesbian-on-lexapro@mvaldez7821@tiktokandtvismylife @silvermistwannabe @harrysgoldenhome @subbbyharry @buckybarnessimpp@gabshouse @sassqwn @thegirlnextdoorssister @theanxietyqueen17 @behindmygreyeyes @luvonstyles @st-ev-ie

#harry styles imagine #harry fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles blurb #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles x you #harry styles blog #harry styles writing #tuliprry #teacher!reader #teacher!harry

[queerofthedagger]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thanks so much for the tag! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

132 which. insane.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,520,700 which is even more insane. anyway

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Merlin, Stranger Things, The Sandman, The Raven Cycle, and Lord of the Rings, and coming soon probably also Black Sails, let's be real

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Old Haunts (Are For Forgotten Ghosts), A Study in Choices and Second Chances, I Wouldn't Leave You If You Let Me, Still I Surface in Morning Light, and Fate Rests Heavily On Our Shoulders. I'm never not baffled by the fact that my two most popular fics not only are for HP, but are for Regulus/Harry. Like. That tag has maybe 100 fics???

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! Sometimes it takes me a while but I'll tend to get around to them eventually <3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that's a toss-up between my my s5 Morgwen AU With Eyes Wide Open, and the one where I made the Diamond of the Day worse, watch all my bridges burn

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is such a difficult question because Angst with a Happy Ending is kind of my brand. That said, esp where Merlin is concerned, one thing I think about a lot is the inevitability of tragedy and how, no matter how many fix-its I write, personally I believe that most of them, if I didn't end them before the fact, would eventually end in some kind of tragic way, actually. Like. Very rarely is Merlin not immortal, or the world not against them, or or or. So in that vein I guess one of the happiest ones would be We Can Always Run because it's such an utter rejection of destiny, an utter refusal to even pretend they're playing the game.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely, thankfully.

9. Do you write smut?

Occasionally, yeah! It's a constant process of pushing at my comfort zone tbh, but I do enjoy doing it (ha), so!!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, it's just not really my thing, neither for writing nor reading. Obviously never say never but yk.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Unfortunately (don't do this).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Such a cool feeling, I love the thought of them existing in other languages in the world <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope; there have been and are a few plans for that floating around though 👀

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

This is so hard but in the end it gotta be merthur, like, because I love them to pieces but also just for the sheer amount of words I've written for them. Not sure if/how that would ever get topped, especially considering it's like, on-going.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

There's a bunch of HP WIPs I would have loved to finish, but I've fallen so utterly out of love with the fandom I don't really think it's ever going to happen at this point tbh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding, plots/characterization, and prose; I think I'm solid in those and they come easily to me/bring me the most joy when writing. Editing, in a way, because I'm an obsessive bitch with a system about it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions; I'm just not a very visual writer, which is not too huge of an issue when writing familiar characters and settings in fic, but becomes immediately and glaringly obvious whenever I 1. introduce non-canon stuff, or 2. have a go at OG. Also planning/outlining; I can make a bunch of notes but if I write an outline, I will not write the fic. I don't think it's necessarily a weakness, but it can make a bunch of additional work when it comes to the plottier stuff.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Not the biggest fan tbh, which I know is probably controversial but odds that your audience will understand it are low if it's more than a bunch of words you can guess from the context? I prefer the ""dialogue," he said in Latin" approach. It's subjective though I get it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bandom RPF at like, 12 (not telling you which band peace and love). I took a long fandom hiatus until a couple of years ago though, and under this fandom alias it'd be HP/Tomarrymort.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Still There Are Many Names In History, I think. I love a lot of stuff I've written, but that story has my entire heart in it, and the response to it has left me sobbing like. a ridiculous number of times which, like, is not something that I usually have to deal with lmao.

No Pressure-tagging: @prattery @emryses @glaftwlet @snapshotmaestro @merlinemrys @atlantablack @insane-ohwhyfandoms @hazelands @aeonthedimensionalgirl @slantedknitting and anyone else who'd like to, just say I tagged you <3

#tag games #mona's writing #i have so many of these to catch up on but this one just was so much fun i had to do it real quick

[coldresolve]

A huge part of the whump being torture apologia discussion comes from the fact that people exoticize torture. It's foreign. It's something you see in spy movies and read about in thrillers. It's a pain that most people can safely distance themselves from in order to experience emotional catharsis or simple enjoyment. The thing is, some people don't get to have that distance.

It's hard for me to describe the sheer grief that comes with it all. I know a man who was tortured in prison. People who faced abuse from family so severe that it amounted to torture. Someone whose torture was to watch their friends be deliberately hurt. I wish whump writers could learn to have compassion for these people as well, even if their lived experiences are not exceptionally common or openly spoken about.

If an author portrays domestic abuse in their writing, it's generally considered necessary and responsible for them to either write the abuse in a realistic way or to state outside their writing that their portrayal of this very real issue is unrealistic. This respects people's lived experiences with abuse and prevents creating a culture of normalizing and glorifying abusive behavior.

It's most definitely not too much to ask of whump writers to uphold those same standards when writing about torture.

you have no idea how nice it is to get someone well spoken and well thought out in my inbox every once in a while. uh im on like hr 30 of being awake and kinda struggling piecing my thoughts together right now, so forgive me if i dont make a lot of sense, but i wanna say sth

the tone of your ask for some reason really hit a nerve for me. like getting slapped in the face, kind of. i think its the fact you come across really compassionate and just. calm, thoughtful in this. kinda puts my approach into perspective lol

i think im just angry about this topic. like ive got a passion for wanting to get it right, but its driven by anger and frustration. having ppl nitpick the fuck out of everything i say instead of actually having the sorts of conversations that should be had about the topic. i know me being angry edgy tantrum controversial oh whats he gonna say now guy and all that, turns people away from listening to me but i dont know how else to approach it sometimes, i don't want to make excuses for people who i feel should know better. i dont have that kind of patience i guess, at least not right now

i think that anger is like a manifestation, symptom. im angry about the people this happens to, and how catastrophic it is. angry at the people who let it happen. the systems that are built around it. people don't see how systemic torture can be. im angry that the fucking war on terror media frenzy was so effective, because your average person still fucking believes in all the bullshit. or the idea of torture survivors being "broken" like its a personal failure, like its the result of their own shortcomings when they're some of the strongest people you can meet. just all these unfair ideas about it that are everywhere. and people still somehow find it necessary to keep spreading those ideas, even if they know theyre wrong. when it doesnt add anything of value, youre not saying anything about it, youre not actually adding something to the conversation by going along with the bullshit, youre literally just entertaining yourself

i dont know how to not be angry about it, i think. thats the growth goal for me i guess, cause i know this isnt the sorta thing thats gonna fix itself tomorrow. and i dunno your ask just made me think about that, like how i handle this on a personal level. and i think itd be healthy for me to step away from the discussion for a couple days at least and just. accept that i tried to reach people this round, maybe it didnt really work, thats fine, ill try again some other time. also i am writing all this very slowly cause my skull is kinda collapsing in on itself so to speak and maybe that has something to do with me being sorta hopelessly frustrated lmfao. apologies

#asks

[thegapbetweenmoments]

New Muse Ideas!

So here is my consistent conundrum: I like writing things with what I like to refer to as notable supernatural elements. This could be a vampire character (Alicia), a necromancer (Diana and kind of Belle), a time mage (Tom), etc.

The problem with this is twofold. One issue is simply that many people aren't super interested in fantasy based things, which is 100% fair and fine, and why most of the time I just write without the supernatural bits unless otherwise specified.

The other is that even when people do want to write supernatural-ish things, sometimes the vibes don't line up with whatever it is that I made for my characters, which is why it takes a while for new characters to be made even at times like this when I'm relatively active.

SO!

Below is a list of character ideas I've come up with that I'm currently considering. If you see any on the list and go "Ooh! That sounds cool!", please let me know, because that kind of input is super helpful for this process. Doesn't matter if you're a mutual, nonmutual, never interacted before, etc (though more weight will be given to mutuals/people who've interacted before). Just drop a little response and that will give more weight to the idea. Once one or two have been figured out, I'm going to make a new post about FCs, because tbh I suck at picking those, but that is a thought for later!

The list of thoughts (under read more so that I don't take up the whole dash):

Half-devil lawyer (Honestly, this is a character I actually did use for one thread and I enjoyed a lot. I may make this one even if people don't want him, but weight and priority will likely be given to things people actually want. I've always enjoyed devil contracts as plot devices, and he might be just a smidge lawful evil)

Freed djinn nurse (General concept is that she has pretty significant powers that only work if she uses them in response to a wish. She wouldn't have to respond to every wish, and like more nefarious djinn she'd probably try to use the wording of wishes in order to bend things to work how she wants, even though she as a person is not trying to harm anyone. Job as a nurse is essentially so that she can hear wishes that are inherently more benevolent and grant or bend those to do good things)

Rune mage tattoo artist (Essentially, the thought behind this is a guy who can write a long, complicated series of glyphs as a sort of magical sentence on something and activate it to give whatever it's written on an effect. Take this to its logical conclusion and with enough time, this can be used to give magical tattoos to people that give them some type of ability or effect)

Air mage pilot (I mean the usefulness of the power is kind of obvious, but also I think she'd likely own a smaller plane of her own and generally be a bit more chaotic/daring than most of my girls on here, which is a lot of the fun behind this idea for me personally)

Blood Mage Butcher (I like when characters have these powers with crazy amounts of evil potential, who then use them for completely mundane, neutral-to-good aligned things. I think this guy is just passionate about meat and grilling. Probably early to mid thirties with wholesome dad vibes. Maybe not the route most people would go for characters they want to write with, but certainly one I find amusing)

Lightning Mage Art Thief (I'm thinking she shorts out cameras and security fixtures, then just walks up to an expensive piece art and swaps it with a replica, possibly with a nearly invisible hidden signature. Some real heist movie bullshit. Then, she goes back to some incredibly mundane or wholesome day job. Maybe an elementary school art teacher who steals to buy art supplies for class)

#OC ideas #open rp #feel free to let me know! #Thank you in advance for any input offered

[iheartchv]

greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you too much by sending in such a random ask. may I please have a romantic matchup for COD? If you’re not taking these please just delete this, ty.

I use they/he pronouns and I’m pansexual. my myers briggs type is INFJ and my star sign is taurus.

Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m kind of introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black (trad, mopey, mall, black-metal, and hippie goth styles mainly, both fem and masc. chill days I settle for dark street wear. ) or and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, analog horror, witchcraft, true crime, ghost hunting, necromancy, anatomy, etc. I typically consider myself a "gorehound" ig. I participate in "Vulture Culture"; and I also like to visit abandoned places just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable.

I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start talking, which may or may not come off as rude to people.

when I become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. most of my humor comes off really insulting, and I’m brutally honest, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke or I didn’t mean it. though if I’m right a become a petty bitch..and quite honestly I’m vengeful to anyone who’s really wronged me. even though I do have a hard time understanding social cues.

lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though, and I own a herd of four guinea pigs that I protect with my life. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’ve also been told I never know when to quit, and I find I hold grudges for certain things. It’s not as common now but I used to get called a vampire by other kids when I was younger since I had oddly pointy canine teeth. I find it funny, seeing how I am today. I also have an inside joke with my family where they call me "Irl Wednesday Addams" which I find funny too (if not a little annoying at the wrong times).

I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. especially with the types of people mentioned above.

I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, listening to music ( the cure, london after midnight, type o negative, deftones, slipknot, rob zombie,,,, sometimes melanie martinez , insane clown posse, jazmin bean or mother mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games, reading, writing, or talking about a random conspiracy theory or shower thoughts I have. I also like to play D&D with my friends when I can, it’s super fun. I do acting in my spare time as a small hobby too, and I’m learning how to play electric guitar. I also work as a scare actor, and in the future I have a dream of being a theatrical actor.

I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I also have this specific blanket I can literally not sleep without. Im also a caffeine addict, and I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I dissociate or daydream a lot, so you can often catch me starring.

I suffer from a handful off mental issues like asd, insomnia, depression and anxiety; plus chronic conditions like asthma and fibromyalgia. These have all been diagnosed professionally, and I’m definitely not trying to make myself "quirky". unfortunately health problems run in my family.

I’m very fidgety, and often bite the inside of my cheek or bounce my leg rapidly. you don’t need to rocmantasize this stuff ofc, but I think it’s good to know so the person can tolerate me.

you do get to this, thanks for your time. <3

If you dont like the match, you can pick who you want ^^; hope I did alright

🤔I match you with...

Keegan P Russ.

I think Keegan would be a match for you

At first you both were quiet

Until you warmed up to each other

Loves your witty banter

He'll do anything or say anything just to be able to be around you

What may seem OOC/weird for Keegan is just him trying to get to know you more

He'll act differently around you than with anyone else

He's warmer and more responsive

If you're daydreaming, and if it looks like/you are staring, he'd tease you bit

"Enjoy the view?"

You'd know when he's smiling

His laughs, or even just the sound of his voice would make your heart pound

When he starts having thoughts about you a lot, he'll be flirty with you...

...hoping you'd flirt back

If he visits you when he's off duty, he wouldn't really expect you to have anything "soft"

He notices that you like 'comfy' stuff so expect to get more soft plushies and blankets as gifts... for now

Keegan will tell you that your size is perfect when you complain about your height

Will give you hugs and cuddles

He loves having you in his arms

Nicknames you his own personal teddybear/pillow/any other cute soft name

Loves having his arms around you

Tells you you're perfect

He supports your dreams of being a theatrical actor

He honestly believes that you are really talented and that you will achieve that goal

Is protective of you

During any stressful situations or episodes, he wants to be there for you, to help you through it

Wants you to know that you're not and never will be a burden

"If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be here"

"Please don't hesitate to call me for anything"

He will do anything for you

I think Keegan's love gifts would be acts of service

Help you wash dishes? Yes

Cook a homemade meal for you while you rest for a bit? Yes

He'll even run a bath for you to help you relax

Along with hugs, he will give you kisses, on top of your head, all over your face...

He just thinks you're so adorable

"... maybe I was right calling you *insert cute plushie name*"

Soon, the word 'care' will turn into 'love'...

He doesn't care what happens, you're everything to him, his world

#ask #request #matchup #match up #cod imagine #cod ghosts #call of duty: ghosts #keegan p russ #cod keegan #keegan russ x reader #keegan x reader #keeganxreader #call of duty

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Personality :p

Ello! My name is Gillian I am requesting a ship for supernatural

* i'm the type of person that people regard as being very well adjusted but honestly i'm having a mental breakdown most of the time.

* i'm a deeply empathetic person, i care a lot about others and sometimes i forget to care for myself because of it.

* on the flip side of my sensitive/kind nature, i can be very feisty. I’m also DEEPLY sarcastic when i'm frustrated i just want to beat up something, and i become very passionate towards injustice. my friends say i'm like a kitten with a knife.

* additionally, i would consider myself a brave person. I don't struggle to have hard conversations with people (i don't like them but I'll do it),and I've stood up to every bully I've ever had

* due to my trust issues and rejections, i tend to feel like an outsider in most of my friend groups.

* TO FINISH IT OFF (this has become too long), i would consider myself a wise/intelligent person (i give good advice), resilient, but also easy going.

1. INFJ | Pisces sun, cancer moon, libra rising, pisces Venus | Ravenclaw | Neutral good

2. Things I love in myself: I love that I’m good at giving advice, that I can skip many of my classes and still stay on the dean’s list, and that I’m bold when I need to be

3. In a partner, I look for someone who will support and listen to me. I have a lot of different mental ailments, and if they won’t be understanding of that, then I can’t be with them. I also look for someone who is self sufficient (I can’t deal with laziness). Most importantly, they should be kind (i.e. If I’m ranting about things like sexism in a tv show, I want them to be able to understand why it’s important to me.)

4. I’m straight, unfortunately.

5. She/her

6. I’m the singer/guitarist in a rock band so music is very very important to me. I also love to draw and I read pretty much all the time. My ideal day is going to a coffee shop and then a bookstore. Which reminds me— I drink an obscene amount of coffee. I also take too many naps, especially with my cat, who is my baby. I like to write as well. I really love things that make my house look like a fairy’s home, so I like to collect that stuff. I’m also a nerd who does go to comic con (*boos are heard throughout the audience*)

7. Appearance wise!! I’m hella short, but it just means my personality is big. I have reddish brown hair with very round blue/green/grey eyes (idk their color people just say that they’re pretty), and a button nose.

Hi!! I hope you like your SPN matchup! <3333

---

Romantic;

---

Supernatural;

💐 You met Sam after you had gone to a coffee shop to get a drink, you walked into the nearby bookstore - you weren't looking for anything in particular, but when you accidently let a book slip from your arms, Sam the gentleman came right up and helped you; picking the book from off the ground, he gave you a smile; and before you knew it, you ended up talking for a good thirty minutes or so

💐 During the next couple of months, you and Sam would often meet up and go to that coffee shop together - swinging by the bookstore after - and just talking about everything and anything; he was quickly becoming a close friend of yours, even being front row at some of your rock concerts

💐 Skipping to actually dating, Sam is really supportive, if you want to do something, he is there to support you (follow your dreams - and he's a very good listener, if you just want to rant about your day, he's there; and if you want to rant about sexism in a tv show, Sam will understand how important it is to you, and probably join you in the ranting

💐 If you go down for a nap with your cat, he'd probably join you, if not, he'd most likely sit on the bed beside you, quietly reading - and when you wake up, he'd probably see if you want to go out and go on a small adventure to the bookstore

💐 Sam is totally down to go to Comic Con with you, if you dress up, he'd dress up too - and if you find something you like there (maybe a little something that makes your home more fairy-like), Sam is more than willing to carry it for you if you get tired carrying it for the how many hours you wander around the Con

#cute #fluff #x reader #request #requested #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader

[frog-writes-for-fun]

oKay so.. hermitcraft x reader highschool au, where reader has a harem but like- reader is an antisocial aromantic geek who just wants to be left alone and read comics but everywhere they go someone who has a crush on them finds them (you can pick wich hermits are in the harem)

Hello anon! With my break from Tumblr, I have found motivation! And so I give to you: the Hermitcraft High School AU!

A First Day’s Nightmare

c!Hermits (various) x Aro!Reader (one-sided)

Summary: You are the new kid at HC High School, and everyone wants to get to know you. Unfortunately, you are antisocial and aromantic, and extremely not interested. If only all these extroverts could get this through their heads.

Notes: This could have turned out a lot creepier, but I was motivated to write and not feeling depressed so you get mild annoyance instead of full-on yandere. Boatem is poly, so are Ren and Doc (if they can get you), based on the American school system, these sound like AO3 tags, I think that’s it? Let me know if I need any warnings. 

Being new to the school was a blessing in disguise. Everyone already had their friend groups, and so they wouldn’t bother you.

At least, that’s what you’d thought (hoped) would happen.

In true high school movie fashion, your first period teacher had you stand up in front of the class and introduce yourself. Rather than the lack of attention you craved, everyone’s eyes were on you. And there were some… rather interesting eyes. 

A few of your classmates stared with wide eyes, while others watched with more narrowed gazes. One boy even had a robotic eye, which was something you hadn’t seen before. It kind of reminded you of one of your comics- wait, he was staring right at you. You shivered, glancing down at your feet to avoid the grins and whispers. 

(Not) soon enough, you were sent back to your seat. Practically rushing, you returned to your spot before the teacher could even consider calling you back. The girl next to you sent a sympathetic glance, leaning over slightly to whisper.

“There’s quite a lot of us, aren’t there?” You nodded in response, fixing your eyes to the front of the room, where the instructor was spelling out the morning’s lessons. “I’m Gem, by the way. Nice to meet you!” After a moment where you did not respond, Gem sighed slightly. 

You felt a twinge of regret; she sounded a bit dejected. But you weren’t here to make friends. In fact, the sooner your classmates decide to leave you alone, the better.

The rest of the class passed without issue, if “without issue” included the continued stares of your classmates. You caught more than a few of them continuing to gawk at you. At the end of the period, you packed up quickly and left without a word.

The rest of the morning was much the same. There were always eyes watching you, curious about the new person in school. As you looked up for one reason or another, you sometimes caught the glances. You shared classes with many of the people from your first period, and somehow it always seemed to be one or more of them watching you. 

In your second period, science, you were made to join a lab group. Immediately, a boy with sunglasses and dog’s ears stood up and volunteered to have you join his group. His partner nodded in agreement. It was the boy with a prosthetic eye and, now you looked closer, a matching arm. Ren and Doc. Ren was enthusiastic, happily showing you around the lab while Doc began the setup procedures. Even though he chose to remain mostly silent, Doc still watched your interactions with Ren, seeming ready to step in at a moment’s notice.

During third period, math worksheets were handed out and you were instructed to pair up with someone. Glancing around, you found someone who looked quiet, like you. Maybe the two of you could work independently if you grouped together. Moving over to his table, you introduced yourself to a boy in a helmet. You could barely see his eyes. Xisuma, he said his name was. He was perfectly willing to give you the space you so desired, but you still caught him looking at you with more than just a casual glance. 

You thought you were safe when the fourth period began. There’s no way you’d be put into a group during history, right? Of course, you’d thought that about math, too. And in line with the theme “never give Y/N alone time,” history was not a lecture, but group discussions. You were assigned to a group of five. Before joining them, the girl seated next to you- Gem, right?- whispered, “I don’t know whether to warn you or apologize. You seem like you like the quiet.”

With that dire warning, you progressed across the room to where some ecstatically grinning classmates sat. “Hello there! Welcome to Boatem!”

You were all but ready to claim sickness and skip class altogether by the time the bell rang. At least now you would have some time alone. 

Taking your lunch, you made your way to the school’s library. Giving a small greeting to the librarian, you weaved between the shelves to a small table. Pulling out your book, you began to eat while reading, flipping the pages every so often. So engrossed in the story were you that you didn’t notice someone coming up next to you until an enthusiastic voice said, “What’cha reading?”

Letting out a squeak, you nearly jumped. Looking up, Ren leaned on the table, head tilted to one side as he tried to read your comic upside-down. Behind him, Doc lingered at the edge of a bookshelf.

“Oh, sorry. Is this your table or something?” Quickly, you grabbed the book and your backpack, starting to move away.

Ren laughed. “No, no, not at all!” You remained wary. “See… the Goatfather and I just wanted to ask you something.” He glanced back at Doc, who nodded, letting a smile cross his face. It was surprisingly soft, from what you’d expected of a creeper hybrid with a mechanical eye.

You hummed. “So, Doc here and I were wondering if you might want to go out sometime. We think you’re totally groovy, dude!” You blinked at him.

“Um.” The words almost didn’t compute. “Sorry, I’m aromantic.”

Ren grinned. “Well, I consider myself quite a romantic as well!”

Doc sighed. In disappointment at your rejection or Ren’s behaviour, you couldn’t quite tell.

A quieter voice came from behind you. “They said aromantic, Ren. Not a romantic.” Xisuma emphasised the pause between the latter term as he stepped away from the wall towards you. How long had he been there? Did he look disappointed?

Ren seemed confused. “Aromantic?” Doc stepped forward, speaking softly to the boy who was, presumably from Ren’s earlier statement, his partner.

As Xisuma was distracted by his classmates, and Ren was engrossed in Doc's explanation, you took the chance to duck out. After leaving the library, you took a sigh of relief. Turning down the hallway to where your next class was, you nearly collided with a group of students. They seemed just as shocked as you, before one of the boys perked up. 

“Hey Y/N!” Impulse, if you recalled correctly. The others were Grian, hanging (almost upside-down) off the much taller Mumbo’s arm, Pearl walking a half-step behind to catch him if he fell, and Scar, sitting in a wheelchair near the middle of the group. They all smiled as they recognized you from history class. This was the energetic group known as Boatem.

Grian nearly launched himself upward until he could truly perch on Mumbo’s arm. “We were just looking for you!”

You’re sure you must have had a look of horror on your face as Scar leaned forward. “Have we got a proposal for you.”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #hermitcraft x reader #hermitcraft x y/n #hermitcraft fanfiction #grian x reader #grian x y/n #xisuma x reader #xisuma x y/n #boatem x reader #boatem x y/n #aromantic reader #gender neutral reader #docm77 x reader #docm77 x y/n #rendog x reader #rendog x y/n #impulsesv x reader #impulsesv x y/n #mumbo jumbo x reader #mumbo jumbo x y/n #pearlescent moon x reader #pearlescentmoon x y/n #i think that's everyone #frog's fics #frog writes #reader insert #dang that's a lot of tags

[graveincarnate]

BRIAN WILCOX HEADCANONS!

Not Requested

Word Count: 727

Warnings: Brief mentions of marijuana, tobacco, alcohol, alcoholism, and dysfunctional family dynamics

A/N: I have actual x readers ready to be posted in my drafts I promise I just really love writing general headcanons for characters!! I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them <3

- he’s had a nail biting habit since he was a kid

- he wears eyeliner, but just on his waterline. If anyone mentions it he’ll deny it.

- he also dabbles in nail polish, even though they end up chipped a day later

- he didn’t have an easy upbringing considering his dysfunctional family dynamic. 

- he has your typical ‘cigarette mom and deadbeat dad who’s no longer in the picture’ type thing going on.

- he has two dogs, both rottweilers. he’s had them the majority of his life, he let’s them sleep with him every night.

- he hasn’t explored very far into the world of music, he mostly sticks to what he grew up listening to.

- that consisting of artists like: limp bizkit, eminem, nine inch nails, system of the down, beastie boys, cannibal corpse, cypress hill, rob zombie, and insane clown posse.

- he also secretly really likes avril lavigne, courtesy of his mom.

- he never throws away clothes or gets new ones, he’s cycled through the same 6 outfits for the entirety of his teenage years. 

- all his graphic tees have faded prints and most of his sweaters have a hole or two in them. not to mention his worn down converse with laces that are practically dental floss

- he moves around a lot due to family issues, he’s lived in all sorts of places: trailer parks, small towns, big cities, cottages, apartments, houses, cars, basements, you name it, he’s experienced it. 

- he’s a hardcore momma’s boy.

- he resembles her a lot, both in looks and mannerisms. he’s like a mini version of her

- he tries to keep a rough exterior, but truly he’s a deeply caring person.

- he’s a smoker, both weed and cigarettes.

- he doesn’t like drinking, he doesn’t even like having alcohol in the house.

- alcoholism runs in his family so he wants nothing to do with it.

- he has an older brother that’s in college, he heads up to the city to visit him when he needs to get away from everything.

- his natural hair color is light brown, but dyes it himself with black box dye. 

- it’s always comes out looking really patchy so his mom ends up fixing it for him.

- he’s actually really smart academically, but doesn’t apply himself in school.

- he doesn’t have the best personal hygiene.

- he showers when he deems it necessary or when his mom yells at him to have one.

- he’s pretty okay at wearing deodorant regularly, he’ll maybe even splash on a few sprays of one of his mom’s perfumes, but that’s about where it ends.

- he’s really possessive, he doesn’t mean to be he just gets scared of losing people.

- he has a lot of acne; it goes from his face, to his shoulders, and all the way down his back. 

- his room is rarely ever clean, but he tries to at least keep the mess organized. 

- He only drinks soda or energy drinks, his favorite is ‘rip it’. you’d have to beg him to drink water.

- he’s not the best at driving, he either blames it on his shitty car or other shitty drivers.

- he definitely road rages sometimes.

- he loves video games, primarily first person shooters. his favorites are Blood and COD, but he’s also really enjoys Skynet. he doesn’t mind other genres either, he gets really invested in story-driven games like resident evil and final fantasy.

- he runs a relatively popular myspace account.

- he’s touch starved, any crumb of affection he gets from anyone he eats up.

- he loves play fighting, he’ll just walk up to his friends and start throwing playful punches to their shoulders until it escalates.

- he’s had many jobs before his one at mickey’s. he’s worked at grocery stores, spencer’s, blockbuster, convenience stores, hell, he was even a lifeguard once. 

- he did indeed get fired from all of those jobs by the way, needless to say he doesn’t have the best resume.

- he gets a lot of freckles in the summer, and not just on his face, they’re all down his arms, legs, shoulders, and chest. he doesn’t like them much.

- his mom cuts his hair for him, she used to be a hairdresser. 

- she also cuts his friend’s hair for them, she takes care of them like they’re her own. 

- he has the worst sleep schedule, he falls asleep in the early hours of the morning and wakes up in the late afternoon.

- he’s really chatty once you get him going on things he’s interested in. he could go on about one thing for hours and hours on end if someone let him.

#brian wilcox x reader #brian wilcox #brian fast food nation x reader #brian fast food nation #fast food nation #x Reader #paul dano x reader #fanfic #paul dano

[duhgutter]

greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you too much by sending in such a random ask. may I please have a romantic matchup for scott pilgrim? if you’re feeling sassy maybe a character from the John doe, frost bite, sunny day jack, etc type games (does it even have a genre aside from horror/Yandere visual novels? Lmao)

I use they/he pronouns and I’m pansexual. my myers briggs type is INFJ and my star sign is taurus.

Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m kind of introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black (trad, mopey, mall, black-metal, and hippie goth styles mainly, both fem and masc. chill days I settle for dark street wear. ) or and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, analog horror, witchcraft, true crime, ghost hunting, necromancy, anatomy, etc. I typically consider myself a "gorehound" ig. I participate in "Vulture Culture"; and I also like to visit abandoned places just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable.

I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start talking, which may or may not come off as rude to people.

when I become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. most of my humor comes off really insulting, and I’m brutally honest, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke or I didn’t mean it. though if I’m right a become a petty bitch..and quite honestly I’m vengeful to anyone who’s really wronged me. even though I do have a hard time understanding social cues.

lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though, and I own a herd of four guinea pigs that I protect with my life. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’ve also been told I never know when to quit, and I find I hold grudges for certain things. It’s not as common now but I used to get called a vampire by other kids when I was younger since I had oddly pointy canine teeth. I find it funny, seeing how I am today. I also have an inside joke with my family where they call me "Irl Wednesday Addams" which I find funny too (if not a little annoying at the wrong times).

I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. especially with the types of people mentioned above.

I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, listening to music ( the cure, london after midnight, type o negative, deftones, slipknot, rob zombie,,,, sometimes melanie martinez , insane clown posse, jazmin bean or mother mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games, reading, writing, or talking about a random conspiracy theory or shower thoughts I have. I also like to play D&D with my friends when I can, it’s super fun. I do acting in my spare time as a small hobby too, and I’m learning how to play electric guitar. I also work as a scare actor, and in the future I have a dream of being a theatrical actor.

I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I also have this specific blanket I can literally not sleep without. Im also a caffeine addict, and I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I dissociate or daydream a lot, so you can often catch me starring.

I suffer from a handful off mental issues like asd, insomnia, depression and anxiety; plus chronic conditions like asthma and fibromyalgia. These have all been diagnosed professionally, and I’m definitely not trying to make myself "quirky". unfortunately health problems run in my family.

I’m very fidgety, and often bite the inside of my cheek or bounce my leg rapidly. you don’t need to rocmantasize this stuff ofc, but I think it’s good to know so the person can tolerate me.

you do get to this, thanks for your time. <3

that was certainly fun to read. ur a rlly cool dude. ANYWAYS MATCHUP TIME

ok so for the scott pilgrim matchup I narrowed it down to kim and ramona then eventually settled on ramona. both of you are more introverted so I see that well, as well as the more alternative semi similar styles that you have in common (both stealing each others clothes/accessories.) she’s not really sensitive either, so coming off as rude or sarcastic wouldn’t bother her, she’s kinda similar so she’d probably joke the same way too. basically twinflame uhhh match made.

now for the horror/yandere visual novels I’m thinking peter. I feel like you’d stand out to him because of your style (considering his old goth phase) and another thing that kinda stood out to me is your mbti which is infj and the same as the y/n in the game lol. other than that even though you can be seen as intimidating and brutal, he’s a literal slasher and confirmed masochist so I’d say match made.

also extra but you i totally recommend ‘The Loverman Killer’ it’s a short web comic kinda series that kinda lines up w your interests and it’s made by mortis fox.

#matchup #scott pilgrim #scott pilgram takes off #your boyfriend #peter king #peter king x reader #peter x reader #ramona flowers #ramona flowers x reader