#maybe it's because i know their internal pov and don't hear their voices or see them

[moodyseal]

I was poking fun at how unexpectedly silly the CHB kids looked in armour in the first two episodes of the PJO show (acting like an almighty army and all) and then it hit me. This is exactly how some of them will look like when they will be dying in the final battle. Silly. Tiny. Literal children

#i'm sorry i always knew that they were children but #when i read books the characters' ages. idk. don't really register completely #maybe it's because i know their internal pov and don't hear their voices or see them #but these are. 12 y/os #fighting things #and only now that i see an actual live action rendition of pjo do i realize the weight of it all #they're so young oh my god #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #lonely thoughts

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Your Fault

Your Fault

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: Reader is pregnant and suffering from morning sickness, only to be comforted by Daryl. Takes place in Alexandria. (I'm so bad at summaries, please forgive me).

Tropes: Fluff, Pregnancy Fluff, Established Relationship

Warnings: I mean, I don't think there's any. If anything I'll say references to past smut, but not explicit at all. Mentions of vomiting.

Word Count: 1.5K

Note: This is written in a dialect style with Daryl's accent in mind so the misspellings are intentional. There is minimal use of (y/n).  Any references to the reader besides the (y/n) is done using "your" or "you". I tried to proofread the best I could, but nobody's perfect. If you don't like, don't read, but if you do like you're my favorite!

Internal monologue is done in italics.

ENJOY!

******************************************

Daryl's hand is soft, tangling into the strands of your hair to pull it back from your face as you unleash the remnants of your dinner into the toilet with a loud groan. The brightly colored tile on the bathroom wall mocks you, each swirl of color illuminated by the fluorescent light above that hurts your sensitive eyes.

Who picks bright pink for bathroom tile?

You think with a groan as your stomach heaves again.

Daryl’s right hand rubs soothing circles into your back  to let you know he's there.

“It’s alrigh. Jus get it all ou.” He mutters.

You had practically run him over when you ran to the bathroom, waving your arms to make him go away, not wanting to see you like this, but Daryl had ignored your half hearted attempts to push him away.

And even though you hadn’t wanted him to see you like this, it was easier. Daryl made everything easy, effortless, and most importantly made you feel loved, more loved than you had felt before all of this.

Your forehead presses against the cool lip of the toilet as you wipe the remnants of dinner off your chin and let out a shaky breath.

"Here." Daryl gently pulls you back from your position to wipe at your chin with a towel.

"Hmm." You lean into his touch with a sigh.

"Ya alrigh?"

"Ughh."

“Come on.” He pulls you against his chest, sitting back so his back is against the bathtub, folding his knees in front of him and dwarfing the already small bathroom.

Daryl looks almost exactly the same as he did when you first met and every time you look at him, you feel the exact same. Butterflies flapping against the walls of your stomach, heart surging up into your throat while pins and needles trace his well placed rough fingertips against your arm. Every touch feels like the first, every kiss sets you on fire, and you wouldn't change a second of it. Sometimes you think just how lucky you are that all this happened, because you can’t imagine your life without him. Admittedly a little selfish, but  then you think of what your life would have been if none of this had happened.

Maybe you would still be in Atlanta finishing up your residency, still live in that apartment downtown, still have the same shifts, eat at the same restaurants- but then where would Daryl be?

Where else would you meet someone who got you so simply, who understood what you were thinking just with a quick glance. Who else would make you feel like you’d swallowed the sun when you found them looking at you?

And who else would you love as utterly and completely as you love him?

"This is your fault." You lean your head against his shoulder, stretching out your legs to knock your thigh against Daryl’s knee.

He was  taller than you, broader and stronger in all the best ways. It was what drew you to him, well that and you thought that it was cute how shy he was, how he'd stumble a bit through his words when you first started talking and how the tips of his ears would flush pink when you smiled at him.

"My fault?" You can hear the smile in his voice. Daryl shifts his arm up over your shoulder to pull you closer into his chest, brushing his hand up and down your arm, letting you settle into him.

"Yes. It's your fault I'm pregnant." Your right hand runs over your stomach that has begun to protrude more in the past few months, a whirlwind to be sure, but a welcome one. The initial 30 days had been 30 days of agony while you tried to think of a way to tell Daryl that he was going to be a father. When you first started dating he had been hesitant to tell you about the raised pink scars on his back and chest- the ones you had seen when patching up a bullet wound that he had taken for you.

And when he finally told you what his father did to him, you couldn't help but fold him into you and hold him close.

The pregnancy wasn't a surprise to you, you'd been living together since you'd arrived at Alexandria and this was a happy accident. But nevertheless when you told Daryl he had left without so much as a word taking your heart with him. You had stayed in bed for what seemed like days, only to have him arrive 4 hours later with a bouquet of wildflowers and prenatal vitamins, where he found them you didn't know, all that mattered was that he was back and he was happy. Happier than you'd ever seen him.

Since then Daryl had been at your side almost constantly, the occasional run had intervened, when Rick himself had to  drag Daryl away, but on each run Daryl always brought something back for you. Whether it be another book you could read together, one of the last candy bars to ever exist, or a knitted blanket to cover your shoulders when you dragged yourself into the bathroom at what seemed all hours of the day- like the exact one you had draped around yourself now. And when he wasn't on runs he was helping you with the small nursery, where a hand carved crib stood as another sign of Daryl’s love, the exact crib that made you burst into tears when he and Rick brought it into the house for the first time.

"Pretty sure we were both there." He rumbles with a smile.

"Logistics don't matter." Your eyes narrow.

"Pretty sure they do. Ya're the doc after all." Daryl's smirk makes a warm tingle travel down your spine, the same smirk that got you into this mess in the first place. "I also remember that ya were wearin my shirt-"

"Typical man blaming the woman for what she's wearing. I thought you were better than that."

His smirk grows. "More like what ya weren't wearin."

"My clothes were wet from the storm, I was trying to change-"

"Inta' my shirt!"

You lean away from him, feigning anger. "Oh you think you're so innocent? You came into the house soaked to the bone and no one should look as good as you do soaking wet." You accuse.

"Maybe you should have shut your eyes then." He shrugs.

"Shut up." Your hands fall against his chest, playfully pushing him away, but he grabs your wrists.

"Make me."

"Don't look at me like that." You groan shifting away from him. "That's what got us into this mess in the first place-" Your eyes search his face for a minute, taking in the familiar blue eyes and scruff that scratches against the smooth skin of your fingertips. "But at least we know it's a girl. No more Daryl Jr."

"We ain't gonna call 'im tha. And how do ya know it's a girl?"

"They say that  if it's a girl you get sick more often.”

He snorts, pulling you back into his chest. "The way ya are going we might be havin' two."

"Shut up. Don't joke about that. One's enough, and this one is taking it's sweet time."

"Maybe jus' likes it in there."

You groan into his solid chest, feeling his muscles tense around you, familiar and welcome.  "Everyone always talks about what a blessing it is to be pregnant, how you glow, blah blah blah. It's all propaganda! I feel like I'm smoldering. I'm fat, my feet hurt, I'm sick all the time-"

"Ya ain' fat y/n."

"Don't lie to me." You sit up to look him in the eye. "You made a promise to not lie to me."

"I ain' lying." He breathes.

You search his gaze, nostrils flaring as if you think you can smell the lie, but all you smell is Daryl. The hypnotic scent of cigarettes (that he refused to smoke around you), sweat,  the heady smell of the woods and the smell of a thunderstorm before it hits, that  clean smell of rain  as it dribbles through the branches above before falling onto your skin.

"Ya're even more beautiful than the firs' day I met ya." Daryl's touch is feather light against your cheek, drawing you closer so he can press his forehead against yours. "Pretty sure ya get more beautiful every day. And if this is a girl-" His free hand drags across your belly, smiling as the baby kicks against his fingers. "She's gonna be beautiful jus' like ya."

You feel the blush drift up into the roots of your hair remembering the day you met. “That was a crazy day-“

“Because ya shot me.”

“It only skimmed your hair, don’t be a baby. And I thought you were a walker.”

“Las' time I checked my hair is on top of my head.”

“You were fine.” Your palms gently fall against the scruff of his cheeks. “I’m really glad I missed.”

“Me too."

******************************************

Thank you so much for reading!!

If you liked this fic, be sure to read the prequel “Meet Cute,” that shows the story of how Daryl and the Reader met!

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon fluff #twd #the walking dead #twd daryl dixon #daryl x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl x y/n #twd fanfics

[hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog]

Tell me about Dean falling in love with a girl who has long covid - maybe they met when he saved her from a monster and they became friends, she occasionally helps him with research or patches him up if he gets hurt. He doesn’t hear from her for a while, and when he goes to check on her, he finds out she’s in the hospital with Covid - a monster he can’t save her from. He realizes he loves her, but may lose her. After she gets out he keeps coming to check on her because he knows she tires easily/has trouble breathing at times.

@deans-spinster-witch thank you for this ask. Actually thank you all that submit asks or sent me story prompts, I am going to get to them all, but I thought this one would be a good place to start.

First let me start off with my disclaimers:

1) I haven't see the last few seasons of SPN, so I don't know how they addressed COVID, if they did at all. So think of it as alternative timeline, not really canon.

2) My COVID representation is probably not 100% accurate, either by the reader symptoms or that I don't mention Dean wearing a mask or that he was able to be in the hospital with the reader.

3) I just POV and I think I may have jump from 2nd to 3rd person writing? I did my best to correct it, but sometimes I can't seem to correct it. Also did my best with editing, but I am sure I missed something. Flashbacks are bold italic and internal thoughts are just italic.

4) I am not sure if this is 100% what you were looking for. It does end on a cliffhanger, so I will be posting a second part. It was getting hella long coming in at 7,500 words. 😬 sorry.

5) swearing, hints of past trauma that we may get more in the second part. Self doubt/hate. Angst heavy!

Okay think that's it. It's a Y/N x Dean focus story with Sam making an appearance via phone. Characters are not mine but the work is. So please don't post as your own.

Feel free to like, reblog, send me feedback in the comments. And if you have a story idea, send it my way via asks or message. Or if you want me to tag you on my work let me know.

Okay think I have stalled long enough. Here it is, my first story back from 3 year break.

JUST BREATHE-



"Excuse me, sir, you can't be up here." A female voice, strong, laced with exhaustion, mixes with the sounds of the hospital. Doctors are being paged, staff are going in and out of rooms, and machines are monitoring patients. All of it, white noise, too, Dean. Because he can't look away or tear his eyes from what is in front of him. Y/N is lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a ventilator. What happened? How did it come on so strong and so fast? He had just seen you last week when he came through town on his way to his next hunt. Picking up research that you had done for him since Sam was working on another case in California. You were the best…no, are, you are the best researcher he knows…you have to get better; you can't…

"Sir! I will have to ask you to leave if you're not family. The ICU is only for families." The female voce, insistent on getting him to pay attention to her. Tired, she was just so damn tired of no one listing to her today; she had better things to do than police people about.

"How long has she been here?" Dean asks, his voice firm but slightly wavering. He can't look away, watching as the vent goes up and down, breathing for you. Y/N, come on, you have to pull through; I can't lose you, Dean thinks, trying his best not to break. He prayed to God if he thought it would help if he thought the ass would be listing.

"Sir, I can't give that information if you're not family." Dean looks away from you for a moment, noticing the nurse standing beside him. She is dressed in blue scrubs, her hair pulled back, and a mask on. He can tell she is on her last nerve with him, and he has to win her over. He can't leave you, not now. "So, are you family?" she asks again.

"Umm…" He knew he needed to lie. If he told her that you were just a friend, he would never get answers and would never get back to this floor again. It was dumb luck that he could get your room number out of the receptionist downstairs. He pulled himself together to give her his winning smile and wink. "She's my sister." Clearing his throat, he looked back to you.

The nurse looks down at the chart in her hand. "Miss. Moore didn't have a brother listed as next of kin, but then again, a neighbor brought her in." Looking back up to Dean, he doesn't respond. "How about we go somewhere a little more private to discuss your sister's condition?" She lightly grabs Dean by the shoulder and turns him away from the window and you.

********

Dean did his best to listen to the nurse, but all he really wanted to do was get back to you. It was driving him crazy that he couldn't do anything; this wasn't caused by a demon, monster, or anything in his wheelhouse. You were brought in about a day or two after he had seen you. Your neighbor had come over to borrow something and saw you in the window, passed out on the floor. COVID had hit you hard, and you just couldn't shake it; your lungs filled up so fast with fluids that you passed out.

That was a week ago; you had been in the hospital for a week and on a ventilator. The doctors feel that your body just needs time to fight off the infection.

"She seemed fine when I saw her last; how could this happen?" Dean questions, trying to be as respectful as possible without raising his voice and getting kicked out.

"COVID hits everyone differently; we really don't know why. Some people may never get it, and some…" Not finishing her statement, the nurse looks away from Dean.

"Can I go back and sit with her?" Dean asks, more like pleading with her. He just wants to ensure you're doing alright and stand watch until you wake up. He doesn't know what else to do.

"I am sorry, but no," the nurse replies as kindly as possible. Seeing that he will protest this, she quickly adds, "But, you can come back during visiting hours. You won't be able to go in the room; we have to keep it clean because of COVID, but you can see her from the window." Hoping this will be a compromise he can live with. She doesn't want him to get upset and have to call security and have him escorted out. She can tell he cares for her and is scared.

Dean will take it; he knows he has to. You're the strongest person he knows. You will get through this; you have to. "Alright, I guess I will come back then," Dean says, getting up from the table.

********

Walking out of the hospital, Dean calls Sam to tell him what is happening and that he wasn't leaving until you were back home. Screw the world, let the monsters run amuck, and let demons rain hell on earth; he had more important things to do. "I don't care, Sammy, I am not leaving again. This is the only number you can reach me at, and only you," he says, getting into the Impala and firing it up.

"Alright, Dean. I hear you. Do you want me to come? I am almost done here." Sam offers, knowing that Dean won't take him up on it.

"No, I am good, but thanks. You stay on the West Coast until the world calms itself down." Letting the engine run for a bit, Dean takes a second. This has been the longest they have been working apart. It's been hard on both of them, but at least Dean has you to talk to. He has been leaning on you more since Sam was in California. Could Dean have caused this? Was he asking too much of you?

"Dean, hey, you still there?" Sam breaks through his intrusive thoughts.

Clearing his voice, "Yeah."

"You know, she will get through this. She's going to be okay," Sam says, trying his best to reassure him and get him out of his head because even if they are miles apart, he knows his brother. Dean is blaming himself right now for something that he can't control.

“Yeah, I know… I just… what if I…..”

"No, don't think like that, and don't think you had anything to do with this happening." Sam quips back, knowing where his brother's thoughts are going, and he will not have him spiraling out.

"But I ask so much of her. You know she will never say no. Even when she has other things to do, she always drops everything when I ask for a favor. God, I am such a user…"

"No, you're not. Y/N is strong, and she said she would tell you if she didn't want to do something. She wants to help; she thrives on researching this stuff, and you know it." Sam states, "Come on, you know she would rather research lore or listen to one of your 'tales from the front lines,' as she likes to call them, any day of the week."

The thought of you saying these words to him as you patch him up, 'Alright, Dean, what tales to do we have this time?' or how your voice would be giddy when he called you about a case he found. "Yeah, you're right, Sam," Dean replies. Feeling a bit better after talking with Sam, he always knows how to keep him from spiraling too much.

"I know I am; now go get some rest. She's going to need you when she wakes up."

"Night brother"

After hanging up the phone, Dean didn't want to go to a hotel or bar, but he was now wired and needed to do something. Pulling out of the parking lot was second nature, and he found his way to your driveway.

Sitting there, looking at the modest, two-bedroom, two-bath house, he would consider a second home for as much time as he has spent there. It was odd to think about walking through that door and you not being there. When getting out of the car, the sound of the door opening and closing is the only noise that breaks up the silence of the night. Taking a few steps, Dean stops himself from knocking like he usually does. Habit, he thinks. Pulling his keys out, he flips until he finds the one for your house.

It was an argument you had won, not that he didn't want a key. Of course, he did, but he didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands should something happen.

"No, I don't need a key, Y/N," Dean protest, not wanting to have this conversation right now.

"Yes, you do; now take it." You say, holding out the key for him to take.

"I don't need it; you're always here. Why would I need to get into your place when you're not here?" he questions. Finishing off his beer, he gets up from the couch and heads toward the kitchen. "You want another one?" he asks, trying to change the subject.

You get up and follow him. "Don't change the subject, Winchester," you say, following him and sitting on a kitchen stool. What if I wasn't home tonight?"

Tossing the empty bottle in the recycle bin and turning to face her, he can tell by the severe look on your face that this is an argument that he won't win. But why make it easy on you. "But you were," giving you a smirk, he opens the fridge to pull out two more bottles. "Besides, where would you be on a Friday night? You have a hot date I don't know about?" he questions. Handing one of the bottles to you.

He struggles slightly to open the bottle with his left hand since his right is currently in a sling. After putting his shoulder back into place and stitching him up, you open the beer in your hand, hand it to him, and take the other one from him. "Maybe," you say cryptically, a twinkle in your eyes.

"Really? Didn't know you were dating anyone?" Dean is slightly put off by this. It's not that someone would want to date you; it's the opposite. You're beautiful, and he always wonders how you were still single after all this time. Intelligent and funny, any guy would be lucky to call you his. Heck, he would like to call you his.

"I am not," you say, putting him out of his misery and his slight spiral of another guy touching her, kissing her… But I could still be out. Do you want to be sitting out in your car waiting for me to get home?" you question, pushing the key towards him. "Just take the dam key. It's only a key. I am not asking you to move in with me."

If you asked him that, he would say yes in a heartbeat. But the reality of his life, what he and Sam do for a living, gives him pause to take the key. "I just don't want anyone else to get their hands on it."

"Who, like Sam? Of course, you can give a copy to Sam." You joke, knowing what he's getting at but trying your best to keep this conversation light.

"No, not Sam. I am thinking Crowley, another demon or monster, or worse, Lucifer. I would hate for anyone other than Sam or me to get their hands on this and come after you."

"Dean, that's not going to happen."

"But it could, you know it could."

Letting out a sigh, you decide to pull out the big guns to get him to take this damn key. "A key is not their first choice to get in. You have put up all the wards you could think of." You say, proving that you are as safe as possible. "Heck, you made me even get this thing." Snapping off your leather bracelet to show off the anti-possession tattoo. "and you know how much I hate needles." The black tattoo shows nicely against your light skin and hides the other barely visible scars.

"Yeah, I found out real quick that day. I think I still have scars on my arm from you digging your nails in," he jokes, bringing his hand up to his wrist to run his fingers around the tattoo and the scars he knows are there.

"Haha, that's real funny." You fake laugh. " Just take it, please. It will make me feel better if you have it." You do your best puppy dog eyes as you push the key closer to him.

Dean takes a moment before caving. "Alright, but I am only going to use it for emergencies." he conceits, taking his keys out and putting your house key on the ring with the rest.

Getting up from the stool, you smile at him, "Thank you, Dean," you say sweetly and hug him.

**

Dean shakes his head, trying to shake the thoughts from that night, as he shuts the door behind him. He stood in the entryway, just taking in the quietness of the house, holding his breath, waiting for you to come down the hallway, saying, ‘Dean, you look like shit; what were you up against this time? Let me get you patched up, and you can tell me all about it.’ Guiding him to the kitchen, you would pull the first aid kit and a beer from the fridge.

Watching these memories play out in front of him, it's not until he lets out a shaky breath that he had been holding that he feels the tears run down his face, "Fuck! Y/N, you got to get better, okay…." choking back, "I can't lose you." The thought of losing another important person in his life. Someone who should have a happy and long life and who, without them, Dean wouldn't be standing here today. He owes everything to you.

Dean can't bring himself to step past the entryway, feeling like an intruder. "I can't…" feeling pressure in his chest, he turns and walks out the door. Locking the door and making the short walk to his car, the pressure subsides once he is in the driving seat. Knowing he can't stay in the house. Too many memories of you and his dark thoughts will keep him up. He also can't put the car in drive and go to the motel just outside of town. It's like his body won't let him leave.

*******

Y/N POV

You were in the hospital for two weeks, and Dean was by your side, or somewhat outside your hospital room, every day, every hour he could be. At least that is what the nurse told you once you were awake. Your 'brother' Dean has been by your side. The first time they told you this, you looked confused, which caused concern from the staff.

"Your brother, Dean," the nurse says again, her voice laced with concern as she points to the window that looks into your room from the hallway.

You turn your head slightly, your body stiff from being in bed for so long, and the breathing tube just being taken out. There you see him, Dean Winchester, raising his hand to give you a short wave, and a look of relief washes over his face, which is covered with a slightly heavy five-clock shadow. You give him a smile and look back at the nurse. "Yeah, sorry, of course, he's my brother. Just didn't know anyone called him?" you reply, "Can I have some water?" you ask, you're throat feeling like sandpaper.

"Sure," the nurse says, filling a cup and handing it to you. "Well, the doctor will be in soon," she says, giving you a short smile and walking towards the door.

"Umm, can my brother come in?" you ask. Knowing that no matter what she says, Dean will make it in here one way or the other. The nurse hesitates. "It's just that I would like him to hear what the doctor says. I am still groggy, not sure I am going to remember everything he tells me," you add, hoping this will pull on her heartstrings just a bit.

Which does work, "Sure." she replies, giving you a smile and then walking out the door. She briefly talks to Dean before walking away, and Dean enters the room.

"Hey, sweetheart," Dean says, shutting the door behind him and walking towards you.

"Hey yourself," you reply. You try to sit up a bit more, but you struggle a bit.

Dean quickly gets to you. " Here, let me," he says, finding the remote for the bed, setting you upright, and then readjusting your pillows. "Good?" he asks once it looks like you're settled.

Feeling slightly embarrassed that he saw you like this, you’re sure you're a mess, bed hair, hospital gowns, and oh man…your breath has got to stink by now, right? Trying your best not to breathe out, "Yeah, thanks." you quickly reply. Dean sits in the chair next to your bed but doesn't say anything. Okay, guess you will start. "So brother, hum?" you quip.

He smiles at this and looks away from you to the bedding. "Yeah, I had to say something; otherwise, they would never let me back in." Then, looking back at you, a slight panic sets in that you might be mad at him for this small lie. " You're not mad, are you?" he asks.

"No, of course not," you reply, wanting to reassure him that everything is fine. This does, as relief washes over him a second time. You hold out your hand for him to take. "Just wonder what Sam will say about having a little sister, that's all. I am sure he will hate being the middle child," you joke.

Dean gives a short laugh: "Oh, Sammy will be all right with it. He will be happy to hear you're awake, is all." Dean's fingers rubbing your hand back and forth are nice.

"How did you know I was here?" you ask, trying to remember the day before you were brought in, but it's all a blur. Was he coming to see you? Was he working on a case?

"I was coming back through, and you had helped me with the case in North Carolina…" lowering his voice, even though you're in a private room," that Dinji." Dean recounts, seeing you not remember. He continues, "I stopped by your place, and your neighbor was out and said you were in the hospital."

None of that is registering at all, like last month, which is a blank slate. Fuck, what else are you not remembering? "And you have been here this whole time?" you ask, wondering what the state of the world must be like if he has taken himself out of saving the world for two weeks! Is Sam okay?

Dean's eyes, bright green, lock with yours, cocking his head slightly to the side, with slight confusion at your shock that he was here the whole time. "Of course, where else would I be? I wasn't going to leave you alone here," he says, a matter of fact.

You're about to reply to this, ask more questions, ask how Sam is, but before you can, the doctor enters the room. "Miss. Moore, welcome back," he says, looking at your chart and then at you and Dean. And this must be your brother?" he asks, holding his hand for Dean to shake.

Dean does, letting go of yours, the loss of him, his touch is apparent. "Hey, doc, when can I take my sister home?" Dean asks.

The doctor starts to talk, but you're not listening; your mind drifts to Dean. He put his life on pause for you? Wow, that's something, but you're sure he would do it for Charlie, Jody, Claire, or Alex, right? Yeah, of course. Dean sees you as family, which is what you are to him; that's what you will always be. Yes, you were close. He and Sam saved you from the vampire nest, explained everything about their world, and gave you a purpose.

You feel a slight pressure in your chest. Now that you're awake, how long will he stay before he leaves again?

"So I will get the nurse to start the discharge paperwork, and you guys should be out of there in a few hours," the doctor says. Giving you a smile.

Not hearing anything but that, you just smile back and look towards the window. You hear Dean thank the doctor, and he leaves the room. "nice guy," Dean says, filling up the silence.

"Yeah," you reply. You’re not sure what you are feeling; it's almost like a weight on your chest, pressure. Maybe it is COVID; it will be better once you get home. It has to, right?

******

You didn't know Dean could fuss over you more if he tried. He insisted that he be the one to wheel you out of the hospital, only after he made sure the car was pulled up as close to the door as possible so you didn't have to walk too far. Then, when he pulled into your driveway, he insisted he carry you the short walk to the front door.

"No, Dean, I can walk. My legs aren't broken; I had COVID, that's all." you quip back as he comes over to your side of the car to pick you up.

"The doctor said you shouldn’t over-exaggerate yourself, that's all," he replies, trying again to wrap his arms around your waist and pick you up from standing against the closed car door.

You block his hands again. As much as you would like his arms around you, have him cradle you; where is this coming from? You also don't want him to hurt himself, or God forbid the neighbors see him carrying you bridle style. "Yeah, walking the three feet to my front door is not going to kill me." This comment is like a punch in the gut for Dean; it's written on his face. Shit, was my COVID scare that much of an effect on him? But why? Trying to write your wrong, you try to play it off. "Come on, man, I have been on my back for two weeks and must move a little bit." You quip back. Playfully pushing him aside and walking towards the door.

You get to the door but realize you don't have your keys, you didn't have those, or your phone when you were brought into the hospital. You wait for Dean to come up behind you. He doesn't say anything, pulling out his keys; he opens the door and lets you walk in first. You shuck off your jacket and shoes and go to the living room. Sitting on the couch, you try to hide the sigh of exhaustions that you feel from the small activities you just did; but it slips past your lips and is not lost on Dean.

"Want me to make you some tea? You hungry?" Dean asks.

"No, I want you to tell me what's happened since I was in the hospital. Did all the evil in the world decide to take a break while I was out, and that's how you got to have some time off?" you question, motioning him to sit next to you on the couch.

Dean shrugs at this, "No. I just told Sam I was taking myself off the board, is all." he says casually.

"Taking yourself off the board? Hum, I didn't know you guys could do that," you ask, Giving him an intuitive look.

Dean is giving you nothing back, shaking his head, looking around the room, and clapping his hands together. He points towards the kitchen, "I am going to make that tea for you." He walks away before you can stop him, leaving you to your thoughts. Something else is happening, and you know who to call to get the truth out.

******

Making that call seem more complicated than usual since Dean didn't leave your side for anything. Three days, three days of hovering and mothering you, and as much as you care for Dean, and possibly secretly loved him. Let's face it, those chest tightening pains at the hospital, the loss of his touch was not COVID symptoms, it was your heart telling you what you already knew. You were in love with Dean Winchester, and the fact that he dropped everything for you made your head spin and feel like the most important girl in the world. But you are a realist, and Dean Winchester is out of your league. He sees you as the little sister he got settled with, not the girl he wants to kiss and do other things with.

On top of that, you are sure his opinions of you drop a few points since you found out really quick that to pass the time while he waited for you to wake up, he decided to clean your house from top to bottom. The sheer embarrassment when you found out had you want the couch to swallow you up right there. "Excuse me, you did what?" you ask, thinking you didn't hear him right when you ask; the following day, a book you usually had on your coffee table was now on the bookshelf that it was never on.

"I did some cleaning while you were…" Dean says, not finishing that statement while he grabs the few dishes off the coffee table and heads towards the kitchen. He never finishes that statement. Whenever he says it, he never says 'when you were in the hospital' or 'when you were sick.' After three days of the hanging statement, you get frustrated over that.

But knowing he cleaned your house, how clean is clean? Did he do your laundry? Yep! Did he clean under your bed and put stuff away on your nightstand? God forbid he did a deep clean in your closet—oh, the embarrassment. "Why?" you ask, now following him, waiting for an answer that you sure won't come.

Dean has his back to you, rinsing off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. "What? It's not a big deal. I had time, plus the nurse thought it was a good idea for you to come home to a clean hose." He says while wiping down the counter.

You try your best to breathe and calm down. Yes, all that is true, a clean house to come home too make sense. But having him go through your personal and private things, fuck, him cleaning your underwear. He will never look at you as desirable again, not like he did before. You look up from the floor to see him watching you, waiting for a reply. "thanks, I guess," you say, defeated. "I am going to go take a shower." You say, needing just a few minutes by yourself, shake off this feeling of rejection you know he doesn't realize he caused.

"You need some help?" he asks, approaching you and walking a step behind you.

You take a second, knowing again that he just wants to help, but God treats you like an old woman. Because you know that his offer of 'helping you out' in the shower does not imply sexy times; it's he saying he thinks you are weak and that you're going to get tired, fall, and hurt yourself. You get to the bathroom door. "No, I got it, thanks," you say, opening the door and shutting it before he can say anything.

*****

Dean POV

I know I am being overprotective, maybe even going overboard with not letting her do anything, and perhaps the deep clean was an overreach. But in my defense, I thought I could lose her, and if she was going to, no, when she was going to come home, I wanted it to be in a clean, COVID-free house.

I turn away from the bathroom door and walk towards the living room. I start to clean up, picking up the discarded blanket from my makeshift bed; even though she has a spare room, it's on the second floor away from her, and I want to be close in case she needs me in the night.

The rigging of my phone pulls me from my thoughts of her. Picking up, I see it's Sam. "Hey, what's up?" I ask, dropping the blanket and myself onto the couch.

"Just checking in, how's Y/N?"

"Good, still low energy, but I am just happy she’s walking and talking, even if I am annoying her."

"You, annoying her, I can't believe it," Sam says, with fake shock. "You know she can take care of herself; she has been doing that for some time now." Sam reminds me. Knowing that my hovering is coming for a place of love for Y/N, but it could be doing more damage than good.

"I know, it's just…" I pause briefly, looking back to see the closed bathroom door. "Sam, she just looked so helpless there lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to those machines…and there was nothing I could do…nothing that could save her…I just had to wait."

Sam knows that's not my strong suit, "I know, I get it, but maybe just ease off a little. I am sure it's making her feel like a burden, you doing everything for her."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I will try."

"I know I am." He clears his throat and paused briefly before asking what he knew I would not want to answer: "So when are you heading back to the bunker?"

I pause momentarily; the idea of leaving you hadn't crossed his mind. "Umm…" Hearing the door open, he looks to see you walking out of the bathroom and down the hallway to your room, wrapped in your navy-blue plaid robe, hair slightly damp from the shower. "Not sure yet, but I will keep you posted. I got to go." I say quickly, hanging up the phone. I know that she can take care of herself, but at the same time, I don't want to leave her again; what if I do and something happens, and there is no one here to save her again. Sam's right, though; I have to back off, or I am liable to smother her.

*****

Y/N POV (about a week later)

Something seems to have changed in Dean in the last few days. It was like the old carefree Dean was back. He hovered less, not watching my every move, and even went on a quick day trip to the bunker to pick up more books for me to read since I had read everything in my place twice, and if I was going to be stuck inside I wanted to do something productive. Granted, I had to ride shotgun on this trip, so although we got out of the house, I was still under his protective eye. But he wasn't babying me anymore; he cracked jokes, smiled, and even complained when I made him watch the same movie repeatedly.

Dean was going on a food run, and this was one outing he didn't let me go on. Too many people, could possibly get sick again, so he didn't want to risk it. But he also hated doing it, leaving you alone. "You're sure you're going to be fine," he asks again, standing in the doorway, you on the other side, trying your best not to push him out and lock the door.

"Yes, Dean, you'll be gone for an hour. I think I can survive." you quip, pushing him playfully, "Go, I promise, no running around the house with scissors or jumping on the bed. I will keep my butt on the couch until you get back."

Dean's worried face slightly softens, knowing that you will be fine, but that pit in his stomach—the thought of him walking out that door again and not having you in his sight—will never go away. "Okay, but call me if you feel off," he reminds you again.

"Yes, now go." You reply with a smile. Yes, he was getting on your nerves slightly, but you still loved the guy for it.

You watch as he pulls out of the driveway and down the road before you head inside. Walking to your room, you find your cell phone charging, and you quickly make the call you've been waiting to make since you got home.

He picked up on the second ring: "Y/N, everything alright? Dean texted me to say he was going on a food run. Do you need him? Are you not feeling well?…" Sam blurts out, a lengthy, run-on statement that has you slightly spinning.

Trying your best not to laugh at him. "Sam, calm down; I am good. I just wanted to talk to my friend. How are you?" you ask, wanting to ease into this discussion. Plus, you really did want to know how he was doing; ever since you came home, you only talked to Sam when Dean would call him and have him on speakerphone. Even then, Sam was instructed not to speak about cases he was working on. Dean had a theory that possibly COVID was stress-induced, but you know it wasn't.

"I am good, making my way back to the bunker. I have a case in Wisconsin, so I'm in your area. I was thinking of seeing you guys once it's done."

"Oh yes, please do, Sam. It's been ages since we've hung out together. I feel like a movie marathon is needed."

"Yeah, if you're up for it. Dean tells me you get tired easily. Is anything else not the same?"

"Umm…brain fog for sure; I lost all memory of the week before I went into the hospital. Some things don't taste the same. But honestly, Sam, can we not talk about me for a bit. Tell me about the case in Wisconsin; what are you hunting this time." You inquire, done talking about yourself, need a distraction, and avoid asking Sam what you want to know.

Sam, being the best friend, a girl could ask for, knew that a distraction from your symptoms was what you needed, and although it would be breaking his promise to Dean, he could hear it in your voice, the need for some kind of normalcy, at least what normal is considered for us. Giving you all the details, you can come to the same conclusion that it was a vengeful spirit and a simple salt and burn job is in order.

Once Sam is done talking about Wisconsin, a lull in the conversation forms, and you look at the clock to see Dean should be home soon. "Sam, can I ask you something?" You feel slightly nervous and try to figure out how to phrase your question.

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

Taking a breath, you wait a second before asking, "How was Dean when he found out I was sick? He said he 'took himself off the board' and has been hovering since I got home. He's gotten better, but those first few days, it was like he was a different person."

Sam can tell by the last statement that you're trying to bring some levity to an otherwise heavy question, a question that he is surprised you have to ask. taking a breath, he thinks about how to say, ‘You idiot, he loves you! and you love him!'

"I am glad to hear that he's lost up the reins a bit," giving a chuckle, "but honestly, Y/N, he was devastated. I know he's my big brother, and he tries his best to hide his emotions, but I could tell that night when he called to tell me what happened, he was scared. Scared that he was going to lose you, scared that he might have caused this to happen to you."

"How could he have caused COVID? I mean, I get he sometimes can have a big ego, but, come on, he can't cause an infection."

"No, but he thinks he has been asking too much of you, wearing you down. I can't say whether he's right or wrong. You and I know you occasionally burn the candle at both ends."

"Yeah, I am trying to get better at that. But Sam, he was treating me like I was 90 years old. He wouldn't let me do a thing around here. And did he tell you he cleaned my house—my whole house—before I got home? I mean everything."

"Oh man, I am sure you were not happy to hear about that."

"Your damn right. I wasn't."

"Look, it's not my place to say, but I will tell you this, remember that night when you and I got a little tipsy, and you might have let slip your feelings for a certain green eye hunter?"

Fuck, of course, he remembers that night; that was right after you had helped him and Dean take down a wraith, and Dean was out on a beer run. "Yeah, you asked me why I never seem to be dating anyone, and I said I can't be with the one guy I want, so why be with the wrong guy at all."

Sam waits for you to connect the dots, and although you're not sitting in front of him, Sam has a feeling you're making the connections: "Let's just say Dean has the same idea, and he has his eye on a hazel eye researcher that he thinks he can't have."

You're about to protest Sam's statement that Dean has no feelings for you other than sibling love, but before you can, you hear the front door open and Dean yelling, "Honey, I am home," sweetly.

"I've Got to go, Sam. Talk soon," you say, and hang up before he can reply.

*********

Sam's words kept rolling around in your mind all night, distracting you from Dean. During dinner, you were quiet, letting him lead the conversation and not making it known when he mentioned Sam might be stopping by in a day or two that you two had talked earlier. "Oh, okay, sounds good." you responded, still thinking, 'He has his eye on a hazel-eye researcher that he thinks he can't have.'

Dean went for girls that were the complete opposite of you, blonde, curves in all the right places without an ounce of fat to be seen, the girl that guys walk across fire for, not the girl that they run into fire to get away from. Not the girl who is socially awkward around strangers, who can put her foot in her mouth easier than anyone, and who has more of a backstory than is worth mentioning. No, Dean goes for simple, noncomplex girls, which makes sense, given his life is entirely of danger and complexity. Why go for a girl to add to it.

Dean can tell your mind is elsewhere, and he is slightly worried that you're lost in your head or that this might be another symptom. "Hey, space cadet, you with me? Because if you're not watching the movie, I will gladly turn it to something we haven't seen twice this week," he jokes, hoping to make fun of the situation.

His voice shakes you from your thoughts, and you look over at him; his eyes have just a hint of worry to them. The blanket across both of you, him in a simple white t-shirt and sleep bottoms, you in gray leggings, tank top, and open cardigan. Perfection, you and Dean cozy up on the couch, not a care in the world, him teasing you about your love of disaster movies, and you forcing him to watch the same one repeatedly, and he does; why? Because he loves you. He loves you like a sister, a friend, someone he cares for, just not someone he’s IN love with.

"yeah, sorry, I think I am just going to go to bed." You shake off that last statement: he's not IN love with you. God, you really know how to cut yourself deep, don't you? Getting up from the couch, you grab your water glass and head towards your room.

Dean gets up with you, "here, let me help you," he says, walking around the couch and placing a hand on your lower back.

This is the last straw, the final statement of his wanting to help you, again treating you like you're helpless. "Stop! Just stop!" you yell, feeling yourself boil with rage you knew you had been keeping at bay. You know his hovering is with the best intentions, but for you, it's blurring the lines between what you want from him and what you know he can give you. Your mind won't let it be accurate even after what Sam told you today.

Dean stops his hands from touching you, standing still like he is frozen in time. "Y/N, hey, I just want to help. You look tired, is all." His voice is soft and sweet.

He’s trying to placate you, like he would a child or grandparent, "Dean, I am fine; I can walk ten feet to my room on my own and not get lost or fall down, okay!" You lock eyes with him and see his face fall, and in that moment, you know that he's hurt; you've only ever yelled at him when you were injured and need him to find you. But that was screaming for him, not at him. You know that you should feel bad for your outburst, you do, but you know that this is not real, that this ideal version of him and you playing house can't last.

"What is wrong? Is this another symptom? Did something happen while I was out?" he asks, wanting to understand your sudden change since this morning. You start walking away from him, wanting to get into your room and away from him, knowing he will get the truth out of you. You don't want to hear his excuses or him placate you even more about why he and you will never be a thing.

You turn halfway down the hall to look back at him, standing there watching you. "No! It's not! I am a capable woman who can take care of herself. Stop treating me like I am dying, Dean! You saved me once; that should be enough for you." Turning back, you reach your door, hand on the handle to open it, when you hear Dean.

"What does that mean?" Dean questions, his footsteps pad against the hardwood floors, standing right behind you; you can feel his breath on your neck, "I know you are capable; you are the strongest woman I know." his voice low, sending shivers down your body, you feel his hand on your arm, turning you around to face him. He sees your tear-stain cheek, "Fuck, Y/N, talk to me; what is going on? Why would you say saving you once was enough?"

Your eyes, trying and failing to hold back the tears, are now on the brink of spilling out. He needs to just let you go. You lean back against the door, knowing he took that little movement as exhaustion, and you are. You are exhausted by talking about this repeatedly, tired that he just can't let you leave, won't give up, and will go back to seeing you only when he needs something. He needs to go back to his life and let you put him back into the box of things that you don't let yourself have. Taking a breath, you run your hands over your face, wiping the tears and pushing them back inside. Putting on your brave face, "You know, Sam will be here in two days. I think you should go back with him. Go back to the bunker, and 'put yourself back on the board.'"

Throwing his line back at him, telling him he needed to return to work and that you would be fine without him. Will you, though? In time, maybe? You turned the door handle and stepped into the room, never breaking your eye contact with him. He shut the door in his face and flipped the lock, not giving him a chance to speak, knowing that he would not force his way in.

To be continued

#supernatural #fanfic #fanfiction #dean winchester #writing prompt #fandom #supernatural fanfiction #dean fan fiction #dean x curvy!reader #dean x chubby reader #dean x reader angst #dean x y/n #dean winchester angst

[randomgooberness]

This is in reference to the one post where Gordon gets all embarrassed for talkin like a kid (and maybe I missed something) But does Freemind sign "sorry", or say it out loud? I'm so curious if ya'll have a reason for how or why Mind signs, or the fact that Gordon can even UNDERSTAND it !!

(ask is referencing this post)

TYSM FOR THIS ASK! WE HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON IT LMAO. @shineyfish 's answer: MIND SIGNS IT HE LOVES LANGUAGES!!! there's lots of points in Freeman's Mind where he speaks in different languages or references shit to do with that so it's a big hc of mine that he knows how to speak a bunch of different languages. Can't have prior potentially talking shit about him, and you can't talk shit about him if he always knows what you're saying! Hilariously to me though is that he Canonically doesn't know Morse code. Sign language in particular I feel like he'd know because it's a language where you don't need to speak to use it. That's perfect for anything where you need to be silent, for example, being in Panama with your buddy Eddie and you don't want to get caught.

My answer:

From Gordons POV, in my headcanons, he grew up learning sign language because of his autism- it made it easier for him to communicate nonverbally, especially because he was mostly mute for the first few years of his life(to which when he was like 7 or 8 he switched to never shutting up LMAO). Gordon couldn't actually understand that specific moment where Mind signed, because he wasn't facing him and was moving, so he didn't really see it- just a bit of movement(hence why he's confused in the comic). However, there IS a scene that took place a day or so prior(in act 1, that comic is in early act 2) that had them using it. I shared a small screenshot of the scene because it was really funny to me, but Ace agreed to let me edit it up and post the full segment here! Have a treat :D

This takes place after they get outside for the first time and run from the airstrikes- and go into the vents with the skeleton and the sweet voice.

WARNING FOR: ableism(internalized and external) and (technically)self-harm

"It can't be THAT hard to fly a fuckin plane!"

Mind laughed, half joking with that as he moved forward. 

It didn't take long until he was whining again.

"Why are so many people trying to kill me?? I'm awesome! Are they jealous?"

He didn't have enough bullets for all of them at the rate they were going at. The military should give peace a chance, or at least stand still.

"I'm calling dibs on the med station."

"Go ahead," Gordon chuckled. "Yeah, I think they're just jealous of you. They uh. They think the Science Team is too sexy to live." He wheezed.

"YES!"

Mind hooked himself up the the med station, silently begging the thing for what he wanted.

The med station, checking his vitals and seeing he wasn't mortally injured, did not give him any morphine.

"NO!"

He rested his head against the thing as it appropriately treated his more minor injuries. He didn't want to say he was getting desperate, because he wasn't, and if you thought that you were wrong, but... It was hard to be sober around this place.

He laughed joylessly.

"They've got it all wrong. We're actually too sexy to die."

"Exactly!" Gordon laughed, clapping his hands. "Let's uh, c'mon, Bubby I- dude what are you charging in the HEV suit station." 

"My MP3 player." Bubby said.

"What?" 

"Don't tell anyone~!" 

"...Okay," Gordon wheezed. "Is that what's playing the Russian speaking?" 

"The what?" Bubby looked...genuinely confused by that question. "No?" 

"What speaking?" Dr. Coomer tilted his head. Gordon sighed. 

"...Nothing. Let's move on." 

Whatever the fuck Gordon was talking about, Mind was a little concerned about it. Being overly Paranoid that you're seeing things can be good when you need to look for enemies, but hearing things that aren't there? That could be a problem.

Whatever. It wasn't too much of a problem right now, and they still had hallways to go through for a second time. He never wants to look at a hallway ever again. His headache was a little worse, and now that the noise was muffled he had a ringing in his ears. 

"Why do you get an MP3 player?? And why does the HEV station charge it??"

"I want to listen to my tunes," Bubby said. "The HEV station charges anything." 

"I use it for my bionic body!" Dr. Coomer nodded. 

Gordon rounded over to a vent nearby. From it, odd humming and whistling could be heard- alien sounding. Like the Sweet Voice. He pulled out his gun and headed inside. Mind heard it too, flinching. 

"...No. no, it's dead, we watched the bitch get torn apart by the doors, there's no way it survived that. I'm either just imagining that, which is concerning, or mistaking the sound..." 

He didn't seem to be talking to anyone, although kept his gun ready as he spoke. 

If nothing could kill that- that thing, then... "We really are fucked."

"No...No, I'm hearing it too, man," Gordon muttered. He was shocked that this vent was big enough to stand in, and walked cautiously. "...Maybe there's more like him here? I mean, it's called the Black Mesa Sweet Voice- it might...I dunno. We'll see. Maybe it's friendly."

"I doubt that, if Mall-cop was anything to go off of, it'll be irritating at best."

Following close behind Gordon, gun at the ready, he could feel his heartbeat. Something about the mere thought of seeing that thing again sent a spike of fear through him.

"At worst? I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah," Gordon laughed. "I'm tryin' uh. To be an optimist. Sucks." 

"That's the problem, optimism gets you nowhere in the long run. At some point, you need to cut your losses and start breaking shit."

"It sounds, friendly," Tommy spoke up. 

"Oh, right- you can read it.” Gordon perked up, looking at the taller scientist. “What's it saying right now?" 

"Umm..." Tommy tried to focus. "I-I dunno, I can't really tell without the- without the colors." 

"Oh, okay. We'll see in a bit, then." 

They rounded a corner, and Gordon noticed a figure. 

"Wait for my word, do not shoot." 

A flash from a camera behind them. 

"Don't take pictures flash photography scares him."

They got a little closer, and the figure was still hard to see in the dark. 

"...Hello?" Gordon called. 

A small buzz emitted from it, and then a few lower ones, purple. Gordon got closer, and sucked air between his teeth when he noticed it was a fucking skeleton. 

"...Do you know what that is?" He whispered to Tommy, who shrugged.

As they turned the corner, Mind kept his grip on his gun, assuming it to be an army recruit. He couldn't make out a weapon, but he wasn't taking any chances on that. 

He didn't believe his eyes when he saw it properly.

Option one, he was hallucinating. This was bad for the obvious reasons, but he was skeptical on that because the others were clearly seeing it too.

Option two, there was a real, living, sweet voice using skeleton in front of him. This was almost worse, because it immediately made him worry about Benrey. He watched him die. Now he wasn't so sure.

Option three, group hysteria. He wasn't certain on this one. 

"... I'm not seeing that. There is no way I am seeing that."

"...I think we are," Gordon stammered, eyes huge. 

The skeleton made a few more noises, sort of like a guitar plucking. 

"Stay back- stay back staaay back-" It was hard to tell if Gordon was talking to the skeleton, or to The Science Team. "...You guys have any ideas?" 

"...I could always punch it," Dr. Coomer tilted his head, though he didn't seem so sure. 

The skeleton whistled a few times, a soft, odd noise, before it made a honk noise. 

"...Okay, on three, we rush it," Gordon muttered. "God, I'm scared-"

Tommy perked up. 

"Wait, no!" He cried.

"What?! What?! Do you know what it is!?" 

"That's green!" Tommy asserted. 

"What does green mean!?" 

"Green means he's not mean!"

"So-" 

Gordon was interrupted by repeated whistling and buzzing, a flail of colors appearing. 

"What does that mean-" He choked. "What is he saying?!"

And then, suddenly, the skeleton reached a high pitch that continued on and on, and it was deafening, bouncing against the metal of the vents they were in and stabbing into their ears.

Mind almost dropped his gun, rushing to cover his ears. Too LOUD. Too MUCH. 

"SsHHHHUUTT UP SHUT UP, BE QUIET!!" 

"OW- FUCK-!" Gordon yelped, now covering his own ears. 

It hurt. It hurt. Mind felt like his brain was melting, and without thinking he started shooting blindly at the thing, eyes squeezed shut and ears awkwardly pressed between his free hand and his shoulder. 

He needed this thing dead... Again. 

Unfortunately, he didn't think about the current location they were in, and the gunshots only echoed in the vents alongside the creature. He really should have brought his earplugs to work, but they might not have done much for whatever fresh hell this was.

"JUST KILL IT I CANT HANDLE IT-!" Bubby screeched. Gordon, as if he were an attack dog, started bolting toward the thing with a shout- leading the way as the rest of the team followed. 

The skeleton, who didn't react much to the bullets, started running as well.

Mind squinted his eyes open, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he did, and saw the group running. Unbearable physical pain be damned, he ran after them, not wanting to be left behind.

He needed to make sure that thing stopped existing, even if the process of doing so was going to make him want to commit atrocities... More than usual.

Bubby raced ahead of Gordon and took out-  ...oh god that was an RPG.

Before anyone could say anything, the trigger was pulled, and a rocket blasted through the vents before exploding against the metal, sending a blast of heat and deafening ringing toward everyone.

...And, not only did it not break the vents they were in, but Gordon and the rest seemed to not even care, locked on their target.

Mind, who had uncovered his ears, deciding to just grin and bear it until the thing was dead, caught the full sound of the explosion. 

In almost an instant his body decided enough was enough, and he screeched, falling to his knees and covering his ears, gun forgotten beside him. His palms were pressed hard enough to hurt, and he was almost certain that when he took them away, the imprint of the gloves would be on his face. 

He didn't care. He just needed the ringing to stop. 

He didn't even notice the tears falling until he took a breath, shaky and broken, and heard himself sob. What filled his chest at that was a red-hot shame. What kind of idiot couldn't handle a little bit of noise? Even at that, he didn't need to cry at it, he was being pathetic. He was sure of it, nobody else could see him like this.

The gunshots were muffled and distant, still ringing through the vents as they got further and further away- much louder than a scream, a loud, panicked conversation, and then a bit of talking. 

The first thing Mind properly heard was footsteps and Gordon's voice.

"God, where is he- shit I hope he's okay-"

The large man turned the corner, and perked up, before racing over and sliding on his knees- he immediately put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Woah- heyheyheyhey- are you alright!?"

Without thinking, Mind HISSED at the guy, immediately scratching and pushing the guy away. Space, he needed space, don't look at him-

"GGET THE- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" 

His voice is rough from sobbing, but there's a significant growl to it. 

"IF YOU COME ANY- A-ANY CLOSER I WILL NOT HHHESITATE TO BITE YOU." 

For a split second he looked Gordon in the eyes, and his own were full of fear. It wasn’t for long though, as he very quickly covered his face, scratching at his eyes with a screech in an attempt to make everything less.

"Woah-! Hey-" Gordon backed up, eyes huge. 

He didn't know what to do here- granted, he barely understood what was going on, but he had a feeling this might be related to all the noise from earlier. He himself fucking hated it, but he went into a tunnel vision trying to kill the damn skeleton as a way to cope- and regretted it, because it meant he left Mind alone. Not to mention, his ears were still ringing. 

He backed up a bit more, and sat down across from Mind, face twisted in worry. 

"Hey, keep your- don't touch your face, man."

"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

There was too many people looking at him, he could feel it-

He hated these stupid gloves and their protective rubber, dragging them over his face just left a dull ache. If he didn't have them on he'd be able to be done with this, the sting from his nails usually tipped it over the edge for him and his stupid brain would start to calm down again. Sure, he normally had to hide the marks until they faded when he was at work, but it's the middle of an alien apocalypse, was he not allowed ONE source of relief in this hell?

After another attempt, he sobbed again, taking his hands down and looking at Gordon with a tear-streaked face. He looked tired. He felt tired. He didn't want to be here anymore.

Gordon frowned, shrinking a bit as he watched him. 

He was a little scared, honestly- he didn't want this guy to suddenly snap and decide he was an enemy. He didn't...entirely trust anyone here, but that trust was building, at least a little. 

He didn't know why he was starting to trust these people, despite how fucking stupid they all acted, or how mean to him they tended to be. He already sort of considered them friends, and hoped they could all still talk after all this was over. 

Naturally, this was scary to see, because of that. But he decided friends should trust and support one another- that's what he heard all his life.

He swallowed, fiddling with his hands and looking at the ground. 

"It's- you're alright, dude, we're. I dunno if we're safe right now but we're...you can breathe, I'm here, alright?" 

Was that what you were supposed to say? He wasn't sure.

Mind felt weak. He felt so weak. Useless, pathetic, there was no way in hell these people will be able to look at him the same. He needs to get out of here. 

As he tried to move though, he was shaking too much, that annoying tremble in his hands from earlier now a full-fledged tremor.

He only distantly heard Gordon's words but he laughed at it, hollow. What, did he think he needed help? Did he think he wasn't strong enough? He would have snapped back at him if the exhaustion wasn't so strong in him. Whatever. He took a deep breath, or tried to, curling in on himself.

"Hey- dude, please sit down- please?" Gordon put his hands out. "You're- you need to calm down, first, alright? Can you-" He paused, looking him up and down. "Auh, fuck, okay gimme a sec." 

He paused, thinking- when he was little and had basically daily meltdowns, not long after he became verbal, one of his old teachers used to give him a cup of water so he'd be distracted and stop crying- he later used this technique on Josh all the time. 

After a bit, he went through their collection from the vending machines and took out a bottle of water. He opened it and set it down in front of Mind.

The guy looked between the bottle and Gordon. Trying to think of any tricks, any ulterior motives, anything. 

He came back with nothing. It registered as a discrepancy to him, why was there no trick to this?

Suspicious, he took the bottle, slowly raising it and taking a sip, eyes on Gordon practically the whole time. 

Taking a sip felt gross in his mouth, and he cringed slightly, but drank a little more.

He didn't like admitting that it did make him feel better, and his brain was still shot with panic about what that was as he sat the bottle back down in between them.

Gordon didn't look at him very much- though the guy already avoided a lot of eye contact unless something stupid was said. He continued to play with his gloves a bit, nervous, and when the bottle was set down, he looked at Mind again, studying his breathing and making sure it was slower. 

"...Are you able to talk?" He asked, softly.

Mind opened his mouth to say something sarcastic back at him, Yeah of course I can talk, I'm not a toddler.

... Only to find that he could not talk. 

The shame was back, he hated this. 

Shaking his head no, he brought his knees closer to his chest, practically death-staring Gordon. This is your fault, somehow.

"...Okay, that's fine- I-I go nonverbal sometimes, too," Gordon said. "Do you know sign language? Or would you rather, would you rather we have uh. Fuckin. Would you rather we have quiet time?"

Quiet time. Just hearing the words made Mind want to hurt someone. It felt childish, and he wasn't a child. He was just as damn capable as the rest of them, voice or not. 

Luckily for him though, he did know sign language. Unluckily for everyone else, his hands still shook, and he was absolutely going to get snappy if he had to repeat himself.

"Sign."

Gordon perked up. 

"Okay-! Great! That's- that's great, uh," He  looked back over to the charred vent nearby, and then to Mind. "Do you need anything in particular right now? I-I'm uh, k-kinda scared to leave you alone, cause...I mean. Aliens." He gestured. "But if you want um, me to be quiet, or me to uh, talk? Or distract you? I-I can do that-"

Mind shifted, snapping his fingers.

"Shut up. Pay attention."

He took a second, and another sip from the water, before continuing.

"Don't like this any more than you do. I can still handle myself, not useless."

He paused.

"... I don't like noise."

"...That's...fine. I don't, either." Gordon said. "And I know you aren't useless, you've- I mean, you've kinda been the most normal guy here- and uh, you're smart." 

He curled his knees to his own chest, looking at the ground, before deciding it was important to make sure if he knew Mind was signing or not.

"...I-I've kinda needed you as a source of grounding this whole time, man. It's...everything else is fucked and these people, I-I care about them but they're fucking...confusing." 

The other guy had started signing something, before it died on his hands as he processed that.

Mind wasn't expecting at all to be told he was wanted, let alone that he was smart and helped ground the guy. 

Some weight eased itself off of his shoulders, and he finally looked away from Gordon with such scrutiny. 

"... Thank you. This place is fucking insane," another pause, "doesn't surprise me that you need me here just to make sense of everything."

Gordon let out a wheeze. 

"Oh, it is fucking insane, I don't- the rest of the gang is exploring up ahead, but uh...yeah no. Today fucking sucks. And...I dunno what that skeleton was but- that noise and us shooting shit in the vents? Dude, I thought I was gonna throw up," He straight up laughed. "It- my ears are ringing still. And I'm still hearing weird fucking Russian."

Mind laughed, silently shaking before snapping his fingers again, a smile on his face.

"What is with the Russian?? I'm surprised I didn't throw up if I'm honest."

His expression dropped, and he looked down the vents to where the skeleton went.

"Did you kill it?"

“…I dunno, uh- the vent suddenly dropped off, into uh. Fan blades. Bubby fell in and didn’t get hurt, somehow,” Gordon said. “Uh, they all started to figure out how to get through when I realized you weren’t with us, so I came back here to see if you were okay.”

Mind paused, going over the words in his head.

It occurred to him that he hasn't tried to find a secondary motive or worry about any aliens spawning in beside them for a bit now. He didn't know how he felt about that.

"...Thank you."

“Oh- yeah, man, of course! I-I want us to get out, leaving you would be shitty, you don’t deserve that.” Gordon said, and then started feeling a bit of his Dad Mode instincts kick in again. “You feeling better? Need food? I have more uh, more chips.”

Mind smiled weakly, exhaustion from his breakdown still flooding his system. 

"I'm good for now. Don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. Finishing this water though." 

He picked up the bottle, tracing over the side of it.

“Good- good idea.” Gordon chuckled softly. “You uh, you do that. Then we can see if we can catch up with the team, alright? Or wait as long as you need.” 

He pauses, hesitant. 

“…Uh, there have been a few times where I’ve forgotten earplugs for heavier experiments, and uh. Got overstimulated and shut down, a-and I always locked myself in my office when that happened, cause I was…I didn’t want to be judged. So…I uh. I can kinda get…if you wanted to wait a bit longer. I-I’m pretty sure the Science Team is chill, I know for a fact Dr. Coomer is autistic- Bubby and Tommy haven’t told me themselves but they’re. I dunno. I don’t think they’ll be shitty. But we can still wait.”

Mind’s grip on the bottle tightened slightly, and he put it down again to sign.

"I'm not autistic. I just... Can't handle too much noise. And it isn't my fault that other people can't do things the right way."

If the only reason Gordon was being nice to him is because he thought he was Autistic, he didn't want it. He wasn't broken. He didn't know why his chest hurt at the thought of that. 

He looked away.

"I can move in just a second."

Gordon raised an eyebrow at that- it wasn’t in any offense, it was…well, it looked sorta like he doubted him, kind of a sure buddy, whatever you say expression. 

“Take your time, man. I don’t mind waiting.”

Bite, chomp, kill. Mind let it go, for now, not having the energy to argue. 

After another minute or so, he started to move, grabbing the bottle. He went to check for his gun as well, before realising it wasn't holstered, and looked around frantically, panic rising.

He spotted it close by Gordon, and practically lunged at the thing to put it back where it belongs. 

"Okay, now I'm ready."

Gordon gave him a smile, and with a grunt, he stood up, stretching. 

“Houghman, Alright, let’s-“ 

He was interrupted by footsteps, and turned around, noticing Bubby turn the corner. 

“Dead-end.” He grumbled, Dr. Coomer and Tommy following behind. 

“Huh!?” Gordon gestured. “Wh- why?! Really!? How big is this place!?”

...

TYSM FOR READING :3 SORRY IF IT'S A BIT MESSY, AGAIN THIS WAS ORIGINALLY AN RP BETWEEN ME AND @shineyfish !

#hlvraifm #asks #cw: ableism #cw: self-harm #SORRY IF THIS ANSWER IS MESSY. I WAS SORTA DRUNK WHEN I STARTED ANSWERING IT AND IM STILL KINDA BUZZED LMAOOOO #freeman's mind

[gryffindordaughterofathena]

(1) Meet Cute? I'd Rather Die

Book : Open Heart

Pairing : Bryce Lahela x Valerie Thomas

Word Count : 1090 words

Rating : General

Category : Fluff but we'll get to it in time

Trope : None Applicable

Warning : None

Series Summary : Bryce Lahela charms everyone he meets and Valerie Thomas smiles only at three people and none of them are Bryce. But as stories usually do some things are supposed to make you fall in love right? Right?

A/N : Hi! I have been missing since I posted a fic back in February, there were two reasons for that 1. I had exams and 2. I simply couldn't write. But yesterday some of the dialogue here simply came to me unprompted, so here we are. This is going to be five chapters which will span around three years of my timeline of the Oph universe.

❥︎ The Story Of Us Series Masterlist

HER POV

It was never Valerie's intention to spend her first day at Bloom Edenbrook arguing with her extremely frustrating, head-ache-inducing colleague, whom she met about twenty minutes ago, but as fate would have it, that was exactly what she spent her first day doing.

"That was an extremely risky procedure and you know it, Doctor Lahela."

"But it did pay off", came his reply, accompanied by a cocky green.

"Pay off?", she could hear her own voice rising, "This could have killed the patient and I think you are not so dumb to not realize that you could have lost your licence for that."

"I would have not done anything to endanger a life." for a second his grin gives way to something genuine, something that makes her think Diana was right, maybe he isn't so insufferable after all.

"But are you worried for me Thomas?"

Nope. Insufferable. Irritating. Typical example of a man trying to charm everything that breathes.

"I can't believe how—", she cuts herself off from completing the sentence with "Diana could be friends with you.", with how loyal her best friend was it would not be the sign of a good friend to bring her in this conversation.

"Can't believe what Thomas?"

"It's none of your business, stop following me and go wherever you go to fix your impeccable hair in between surgeries."

Completely missing her sarcasm Bryce lights up, "so you think my hair is—"

She doesn't hear the rest of the sentence, taking the nearest exit on her left.

This is going to be a long day.

She needed to take a break, the previous surgery had rattled her, Bryce taking unnecessary risks doing nothing to lessen her first day nerves.

She had always been used to people looking up at her for ideas on what to do back at AIMMC. But no one knew her here. No one listened to her advice here. The interns all looked at Bryce and his risk taking ways for advice.

She was a nobody.

Valerie Thomas is not used to anonymity.

She needed Diana. Her unbridled optimism balancing out Valerie's subdued realism.

Maybe she can ask a nurse for directions to the Diagnostic Team Office.

Bloom Edenbrook was fucking big. Some kind of non-magical Hogwarts. Even with directions she was pretty sure she was lost.

Taking what must have been her fifth turn on the seventh floor, she almost ran into someone carrying a stack of files, stopping herself right on time because of the warning from the other woman's heels clicking on the linoleum.

"Oh, I am sorry" the woman called out, "I didn't see you"

Wait. I know that voice.

"Doctor Emery I- it's alright."

From when do you stutter?

"Oh wait you are Doctor Thomas isn't it? Good job on both your surgeries today, I will only be expecting this performance from you moving forward."

Talk you idiot. Say something. Don't just stare like a creep.

"Thanks Doctor Emery."

That's something at least.

"Well since I already found you here, I have some news for you. I have been selecting a few third and fourth year residents to take up some of my cases while I get settled in the Diagnostic Team. I am selecting you"

What the fuck what the fuck what the-

"— there are a few difficult cases, so residents will need to pair up."

not him not him not him-

"And Dr. Tanaka suggested pairing you up with Lahela, he said you two make a great team."

shit

"We will make a formal announcement tomorrow. But do inform Lahela."

like hell I will

"And Thomas? I expect the best from you."

well there's no better way to say this but– fuck

She needed a drink or preferably five.

"I can't believe you aren't talking more about how Harper praised you, you Valerie I-want-to-be-Harper-Emery-When-I-Grow-Up Thomas."

"Were you screaming like this when you met Ethan on your first day here?"

"No, but he had insulted me and assigned me a deadline within three hours of meeting me."

"I believe I bought you a drink at this very place, Rookie.", her boyfriend commented wryly.

"That's beside the point. I want to know why she's not more excited. Harper selected her to take up a few of her own cases her first day here. She should be happy."

"Owlet, she assigned me a partner for the cases."

"So what?"

"I don't get along well with him."

"You don't even know the people here Valie."

"It's Bryce, Diana. Your friend Bryce. Do you really want me to argue with him all the time? Do you really want to take sides when he inevitably fucks up because of his recklessness?" her patience was running thin.

"Valerie—" she began.

"No, don't tell me he won't do that. I know him for twenty minutes and he already did that once."

"Val, his methods are risky but they work and he would never endanger someone's life."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I know him just as well as I know you, Val." Her eyes take that glint it gets whenever she is passionate about something.

"You are level headed enough for the two of you. I have worked with Bryce on a surgery two years back, I know he will listen to your inputs. You are both amazing, don't let simple differences get in the way of that."

There she did it. Exactly what she had known Di would do. Simplified things that aren't simple with her optimism.

And now she would have to keep her frustrations about Bryce Lahela to herself, no one likes the look of disappointment on Diana Ramirez's face.

"What are you doing here?"

Sitting. Drinking. Regretting Life. The Usual.

"Hey, Bryce! Where are the others?"

of course he'd be here, when has life ever been easy?

"Running late but what's she doing here?"

"Bryce—"

"Thomas. You are Valerie aren't you?"

so he didn't know who I am

"Took you long to catch up."

"Why didn't you say so when we met this morning?"

"Probably because that's work and I found it irrelevant"

"Val—" Di began.

But perhaps because she was a little drunk. Or perhaps because she liked tormenting people she found herself saying, "Start reading up on safer surgical processes because Dr. Emery teamed us up and from tomorrow we are focusing on not killing people." and each other.

Well this is gonna be fun.

A/N : If you've read this far, thank you ❤ I hope you will love Val as much as I love her with this series, she's such a different character from Diana or Dan that I was kinda nervous to write her. A few things, about her, she is Diana's best friend from when she was seventeen, a surgical resident at AIMMC who then transferred to Bloom Edenbrook because of all the extra resources here, all of the Boston gang knows about her from Social Media but only Sienna, Jackie and Ethan met her back when she visited after the 2.11 attack.

Tags :

@openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

Perma :

@a-crepusculo | @choicesfanaf | @coffeeheartaddict2 | @crazy-loca-blog | @genevievemd | @headoverheelsforramsey | @jamespotterthefirst | @jerzwriter | @maurine07 | @mm2305 | @natureblooms24 | @potionsprefect | @quixoticdreamer16 | @rookiemartin | @rosebudde | @schnitzelbutterfingers | @shreyasrivathsa | @sincerelyscarring | @sweetheartdetectivex | @terrm9 | @zahrachoices

#bryce lahela x valerie thomas #bryce lahela x mc #bryce lahela x oc #bryce lahela #valerie thomas #b and v #series : the story of us #dri original post #choices #choices stories we play #dr. diana ramirez #pixelberry #playchoices

[monkeyd-lily]

Fairy Tail: Neela Dragneel

Infiltrate The Everlue Mansion Final Part

I own nothing, everything belongs to the creator Hiro Mashima!:)

Neela's pov

We finally made it to the clients house. Natsu gave me a piggy back ride there from the restaurant. We met with the man who sent us the job. His name was Koby Melon.

"Melon? Woah what a tasty name!" Natsu exclaimed drooling. Happy and I agreed.

"Stop being rude you guys." Lucy said scolding us.

Melon man just laughed and said it was ok. He then began to tell us about the job. He wanted us to find a book that a man named Duke Everlue has and burn it. Natsu jokingly offered to burn the whole place down since the reward was so high. Of course Lucy started complaining about how she didn't want to go to jail for arson. Pfft, whiner.

"The reward has been raised to 2 million." Melon man said.

........................OH MY GOD IS HE SERIOUS!?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH JUNK FOOD, MILK, AND MEAT I COULD BUY WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY??!! After my little internal freaking out moment I went back to listening to what everyone was talking about.

"I stink at math but I know that's a lot!" Natsu said obviously still freaking out.

"Wait I got it! I get 1 million, you and Neela get 1 million, and Lucy gets all the rest." Happy came up with.

"BUT THAT LEAVES ME WITH NOTHING!" Blondie shouted angrily. Yep, definitely a whiner.

"I'm sorry I thought you knew" Melon man apologized.

"Why would you pay so much just to destroy a book?" Lucy asked. Oh my god she's so nosyD:

"Because it means that much to me. That book must be destroyed at all costs." He replied.

"Oh yeah! I'm all fired up now! Let's go girls!" Natsu yelled while grabbing Lucy's wrist and wrapping his other arm around my waist and running outside I guess towards Everlue's place.

**

When we got to his mansion Lucy and I went up to the front gate while Natsu and Happy hid in the bushes.

"Hellooo! We heard you were hiring maids!" Lucy shouted towards the gate. I just awkwardly stood next to her remembering Natsu's comforting words.

Don't worry Nee, I promise, if he or any other guy tries to lay a single finger on you I swear i'll make them regret it."

"Tch, i-idiot. Like I can't protect myself? Of course I can, I'm not weak ya know."

"Haha trust me I know you're not, the constant lumps I'm always getting on my head can attest to that. But you're still my little sister, and it's my job to protect you. I wasn't able to do it back then, and I live with the pain of that memory everyday. And when I saw you I swore, I swore that I would never let that happen to you ever again!"

We stared at each other for a good few seconds before I cracked a smile and wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. Then Lucy showed up and said we should go. I let go and trailed behind her.

All of the sudden, the ground beneath us started cracking and some big blur came flying up into the air from the new hole in the ground. We watched as it came back down. It was a really tall (like a giant), ugly, and huge (fat) woman with pink hair who was wearing a maids outfit.

"So you're maids?" She asked in a really deep voice.

"Yea" Lucy hesitantly replied.

"I assume you're here because of the ad Master put in the paper."

Then another smaller blur came. When it landed it was a short fat man with a weird mustache.

"Did I hear someone say Master?"

I'm gonna take guess and say he might possibly be Duke Everlue. Oh, what gave you that idea me. Oh I don't know, maybe it's just cause I'm wicked awesome. Yeah me, you're right, I am wicked awesome. Thanks me, I knows, I'm all kinds of smarticles:3.

Back to reality, "Hm, let's see." Everlue stared at us, looking us up & down for a good few seconds.

"See anything you like?" Lucy and I asked at the same time all cutesy.

"I'll pass, now scram uglies."

............WHAT!?! IS HE BLIND OR SOMETHING!?! DOES HE EVEN SEE WHAT'S STANDING NEXT TO HIM!?! I'm prettier than her...right? When he called me that it felt like the words were stabbing me. The big pink haired maid picked Lucy up and said,

"You heard the master, get goin uglies."

Feels like I'm getting stabbed again. She then started picking me up, but not before adding, "You too fatty."...WHAAAAAAAAAAT!! Another bigger stabbing feeling.

"Sorry but a man of my standing has certain standards to uphold."

Right after he said that 4 maids even uglier than the first one (if that was even possible) popped out of the ground. Okay people seriously need to stop randomly popping out of the ground now, it's annoying. Seriously what are they groundhogs?

"That's why I only hire the fairest of the fair"

If they're the "fairest of the fair" then what the hell does that make me!? I started crying on the inside:'(. They all gathered around him hugging and praising him.

"You're the best master" Ugly Maid #2

"I've never met such a kindhearted man" Ugly Maid #3

"I think you're the sweetest guy alive" Ugly Maid #4 and finally,

"Why don't you run home uglies" Ugly Maid #5.

Another staaahahabbbbb:'(. Ugly Maid #1 threw us out towards the woods away from the mansion. Before I could hit the ground I felt someone catch me. I instantly knew it was Natsu just from his smell. I saw behind him that Happy caught Lucy. We went back towards the mansion.

"Just couldn't hack it huh?" Natsu asked as Lucy and I sat against a tree with our knees brought up to our chests crying.

"We tried ok! But that bastard wouldn't know beauty if it bit him on the ass!" I angrily replied.

"Uh huh." Happy sarcastically added.

"Alright, I guess it's time to result to old plan T."

"Yea! That big ugly jerk is gonna pay!" Lucy exclaimed with her fist in the air seeming to have recovered.

We started making our way back to the mansion again. Lucy and Happy were walking a few feet in front of Natsu and I. He was purposely walking slowly at my speed so I wouldn't be alone. He's just so sweet. Maybe I should ask him.

"H-hey, bro?"

"Yea what's up?"

"U-um I know this might be a stupid question to ask but, d-do you think I'm pretty? At least prettier than those other maids?". I couldn't even look him in the eyes when I asked, I just stared at the ground.

"You're right, that is a stupid question."

"O-oh, sor-"

"Because I have always known that you are the most gorgeous woman to have ever been born. I always will think that. There will never be anyone better than you or that I love more except for you and only you. Got it?"

I stood silent for a minute just taking in his words and the sincere and loving look in his eyes. I could feel tears prick the corners of mine before I jumped into his arms.

"Yea, I got it. Thanks Natsu, you're the best and I love you too." I whispered into his ear. He kissed the top of my head and when we pulled apart we noticed that Lucy and Happy had been watching us the entire time.

**

When we made it to the front gate Lucy asked us what plan T was.

"Take em by storm!" Happy answered.

"That's not a plan!" She replied.

We decided (more like Blondie decided) that we would sneak inside from a window on the roof. We were finally able to change back into normal clothes again. Natsu was melting the window and complaining about how lame this plan is. Lucy said she doesn't want to get caught and go to jail because of us.

"I thought you guys wanted to get revenge on him?" Natsu asked.

"Oh trust me we will. Not only am I gonna burn his book but I'm gonna use his toothbrush to clean the toilets. Right Luu?"

"Oh yea." We both started laughing evilly

"Hee hee hee"

"That's so gross"

"Totally".

We then made our way inside.

**

"Raaaaawwr!" Happy screamed wearing a skull mask and scaring the crap out of Lucy. I was laughing hysterically on the floor while Natsu congratulated him.

"Check me out!" Happy exclaimed jumping up & down.

"Yeah, you're lookin fierce Happy" Natsu added.

Once we all calmed down we decided to split up and meet up in 10 minutes. I started walking down one of the halls when Natsu came up beside me.

"Bro? What are you doing you're suppose to go down the other hall."

"I know but I just don't want you going anywhere without me, especially if no one else is going with you." He blushed.

"Aw, you really are the sweetest big brother ever thanks."

So we checked the hall together. He checked the doors on the left side I checked the right. When we couldn't find the book we met up with the others and put our backs against a wall and started sneaking around.

"Are we gonna have to search every room in this whole stinkin place?" Natsu whispered.

"Well yeah" Lucy sassily replied.

"I think we should take a hostage and force them to tell us where the book is." I suggested.

"Ai" muffled Happy through his mask.

"The whole idea here is not to get noticed dummy. You gotta be stealthy, like a ninja."

"Like a real,ninja?" Natsu and I said.

"What's going on inside those heads of yours."

Out of nowhere the ugly maids from earlier came crashing out of the floor. Time to use my puppy dog tactics.

"Sniffle sniffle, o-oniichan, they called me fat and ugly earlier:'("

"What!" Heh, score!

As they were about to strike, Natsu punched the small maids sending them flying while screaming,

"NINJA POWERERRRR!!!"

The huge pink haired one yelled "Flying Virgo Attack!" Before landing on Natsu.

"Natsu!" I screamed worried he had been crushed to death.

As I was about to attack big pinky, Natsu started lifting her and threw her into the air. He jumped up with his scarf wrapped around his face and making a hand sign like a ninjas and said,

"This for my sister! Hooowaaa!"

As he kicked her and sent her flying down to the lower floor. He landed next to me. I wrapped my scarf around my face and made the same hand sign as him with my right foot placed on my thigh like he had.

"We mustn't let ourselves be discovered, we are neenja" Natsu said.

"Neenja" Happy and I repeated.

"Ninjas are suppose to be quiet guys." Lucy added.

**

We went into the next room. Natsu and I opened each door with one foot, still holding together our hand signs.

"There are many books in this library." Natsu said.

"Ai, there are indeed." I said.

"Huh, never knew Everlue was such a bookworm." Said Lucy.

"Lets start looking!" Natsu exclaimed while jumping up & down and going back to normal. I joined him.

We started looking through the shelves.

"Oooo this ones got lots of pictures" Natsu said.

"Look it's a book on fish"

"Check out this one it's sparklay!" I held up the book I pulled out. Happy jumped around laughing.

"Hey would you guys get serious and start looking for the book we need" Lucy asked annoyed.

She made some weird noise before exclaiming that this was the book we were looking for. Ha! I found it bitches! You can all suck it!

"2 Million Jewel here we come"

As Natsu was about to set it on fire, Lucy grabbed it and said that it was written by her favorite author Kemu Zaleon. We then got into this whole argument about Lucy not wanting to destroy it and us wanting to finish the job. As we were arguing, Everlue popped out of the floor. Geez doesn't anyone know how to use a door anymore? Weirdos.

"So you thieves are looking to pilford Daybreak from me are you?" He ended with some weird laugh.

"See slowpoke, this is all your fault" I said pointing at Evergross.

"Um sorry about that."

"I knew all you lowlife wizard types were coming here to take something of mine. I never would've guessed it was that stupid book."

"This works out great, if it's so stupid then I guess it's fine if I keep it"

"It's mine! You can't have it so get your grubby hands off!" Everperv yelled throwing a mini temper tantrum.

"Greedy Gut" I mumbled.

"Shut your trap ugly." He remarked while picking his nose.

It felt like I was being stabbed again:'( That's just fine cause he's so gonna get it from my brother, ha. Natsu set his fist on fire,

"Would you give me the book already so I can get this over with."

"No way I'm not giving it to you." Cried Lucy.

"Lucy! This is our job" Natsu sternly replied.

She sat down on the floor, "We'll at least let me read it first."

"Read it now!" We all said simultaneously.

Is she serious! There's no way she can read all of that now. I swear I'm gonna kick her ass later. We could've finished by now and been making our way back to the guild where my sexxxy beast might be back from his mission! But if he's not there then I'll let it slide this time.

"I've had enough, how dare you put your hands on my possessions. Now, come forth Vanish Brothers!"

The bookcase opened up revealing 2 guys,

"You called upon us sir?" The one without hair asked.

"Can you believe that these little punks are from the Fairy Tail Guild? Talk about a bunch of runts." The other who had blue hair sticking out like triangles on each side said.

"That sign means their from the Southern Wolves, it's a mercenary guild." Happy said.

Lucy told us to hold them off while she went to finish the book because she thinks there is some kind of secret hidden within it. Natsu told Happy and I to go after and protect her while he held the brothers off. So we started chasing after her, hoping to find her before Evershort did.

We ran down different halls tracking her scent, well I ran, a certain someone else flew, pfft lazyass feline. We're getting closer, I can almost here her voice. It's faint but I can still slightly hear it. The only bad thing was that I heard Everplump's too. Don't worry Luce, just hold on a little longer, we're coming.

#fairy tail #natsuxoc #natsu dragneel #laxusxoc #laxus dreyar

[softie-rain]

Meet me at the Hanging Tree

Previous chapter: Chapter Six

Pairings: Peter Maximoff x fem!reader

Series Summary: Panem, governed by President Magnus, is getting ready for the 75th Hunger Games. It's in this Memory Edition that the reader will learn how far one can go for the loved one, even if that could bring her to certain death.

Series Warnings: Murdering, described death and violence, suicide, death for natural causes such as starving, hypotermia, dehydratation and wounding infection.

Chapter seven: Where are you Peter?

Quick Info:

this -> ~~~ means that it's a changing of pov!

this -> ¤¤¤ means a skip time!

Summary: second day in the arena, and Peter's mind is more doubtful than it ever was.

a/n: ok this is probably a very boring chapter. I'm not really proud of it, but hopefully it's good anyway? not a lot happens but hey, it's still just the second day.

a/n 2: quick poll time! do you prefer if i did a sort of tributes count at the end of every chapter now that they're (rip) starting to "fall"? No because honestly i don't remember them either, they're just all saved in my notes and i crossed their names once i killed them. (did that sounded bad?)

Five hours before

Sorry y/n. Peter thought, as he immediately ran away from the bloodbath. Maybe she would have wanted him to wait for her, or maybe he should have just tried to grab something. But he didn’t. He ran, like the coward he was. 

He stopped only when he couldn’t hear the agonizing scream of the tributes. He leaned against a tree to regain the breath, and then focused on his next moves. First off, he had to find y/n. No, no he had to find water. Water was what was going to save him, not y/n. 

Right?

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Why was he always so confused? Lorna and her intrusive thoughts are at fault. Since she told him that he has a crush on y/n, he can’t stop thinking about her- it. He can’t stop thinking about it. 

Because it’s not true, he knows it, and the fact that Lorna makes fun of him for that makes him go crazy. 

“Where are you Peter?” 

He turned around immediately in the direction of the voice. It was barely whispered, and yet he still heard her. Thanking the large tree for covering from the view, he observed as y/n looked around, probably searching for him. That was it, his chance. He was going to get out his hiding spot, then go up to her and… And what? 

They promised each other to be allies, but now the question was taunting his mind: do you want her as an ally or as a partner? Ally of course. Then why wouldn’t that voice in his head just leave?

His internal battle with his feelings lasted clearly too long as he saw the girl turning her head and then running away, shortly later followed by Darwin. He wasn’t there to kill her, he knew that they were friends. He should have probably joined them, but he decided that for the moment he would have kept his distance. He waited long enough for Darwin to grab his friend’s body and take her to a small cave, and then he followed him, hiding once again behind a tree. 

“Well good job Peter.” He said to himself. “And now what?”

He tried to look inside the cave, but the only thing he could see were y/n’s feet and Darwin preparing something with herbs, probably to help her wound, he believed. He could have walked in there. Explaining Darwin the situation, and maybe he would have let him stay.

In the worst case scenario, Darwin would have killed him and told y/n that it was another tribute’s fault. Or he would have done the same thing to him. He wasn’t 100% sure of the last part though. Peter never killed anyone, and he never wanted to. One thing in common he had with y/n. He knew he was going to, soon or later. But he would have prefered it was later than sooner. 

And so for some reason or another, he didn’t join you and Darwin. He looked up and saw that the tree’s branches were large and strong enough to fit one person, and so he quickly took the decision of climbing it -at least the time he spent in his father’s garden when he was younger was turning out useful- and resting there until night. 

He didn’t join you either when you woke up, unable to hear what you were talking about with Darwin. He waited to see all the dead tributes of the day, and then thought about falling asleep. He finally decided that he wasn’t going to, not for that night at least. He didn’t have a rope, and he didn’t exactly want to fall in the middle of the night. 

In his mind and heart, he hoped that at least y/n was getting a good sleep. 

~~~

Even she couldn’t believe it, but somehow she slept better that night than the night before entering the Arena. Darwin was outside, cooking something on a fire he lit up. “Goodmorning.” He said when he noticed her. “Why didn’t you wake me up? I thought we were supposed to sleep in turns.” He smiled and nodded. “I know. But you slept so peacefully, and I didn’t want to stress you after the injury you took yesterday.”

“Thought you said it wasn’t serious.”

“It is not.”

“Then tonight we sleep in turns.”

“But-”

“It wasn’t a request.”

Where was all of this courage coming from, she had no idea. But maybe if she kept this mask up, that would help with the sponsors. "Do you think Peter is ok?" She didn't know why she asked that out loud, but if Darwin is annoyed by this, it doesn't show it. "Depends. Was he good at surviving?" He asks back, half joking, half serious.

The girl shook her head, smiling briefly. "Not really honestly. But he was good with recognising herbs or berries. Fast learner." Darwin nodded and kept cooking whatever animal he had captured. 

"Did anything happen last night?" She asked him when they finished eating and started walking, Darwin carrying his small backpack. It didn't contain anything really useful other than it could be used as a pillow and the knife he had conquered during the bloodbath. 

"Not really. I think I heard a noise at some point, but nothing attacked us or anything. And I checked too, to be sure." She nodded and dropped the conversation. 

It's not that she didn't want to talk to him, but she was extremely worried about Peter. So their promise of being allies meant nothing? Sure, they couldn't have decided a meeting point given that they didn't know how the Arena would look. But maybe waiting for her at the entrance of the forest, or at least looking for her right after the bloodbath.

She was nervous. Scared. Anxious. And most of all mad. She was so mad, that all of those feelings weren't for her, but for Peter. 

She wasn't even paying attention to Darwin, her mind now only focused on Peter, praying that he was ok. He was ok. He had to be. 

~~~ 

God why am I so dumb. Peter had no idea of the reason he got Bobby attention so that he'd follow him. 

Ok, he knew why. But he still considered it a terrible idea, now that he had nowhere else to go or hide. 

When he noticed the District 6 tribute getting closer and closer to the District 12 hiding spot, he knew he had to do something. And that something was jumping off the tree, running in Bobby direction without going unnoticed, and saving the other two from a possible attack.

Something that was terribly stupid considered how Darwin was wide awake, and could have easily spotted the attacker before he had the time of doing anything. Plus, he knew he could kill.

And so there he was, running once again to escape. 

His feet were basically moving on their own, the pure survival instinct saving him from death. Hopefully, saving him from death. He looked back to see if Bobby was still following him, and when he didn't see him, he slowed down and finally stopped. 

He looked around. He had distanced himself a lot from the cave, and now he knew for sure that his chances of reuniting with y/n were minimal. 

"Well well well. I must say, I'm honored I'm the one who will get to kill the President’s son." 

Shit.

He thought he lost him, but no. Bobby was standing right there in front of him, pointing a sword at him. Since when could he use a sword? He knew he should have paid more attention at the training center. 

He lifted his hands up, showing how harmless he was. "Look, think about it. Wouldn't it be good to have me on your side? Imagine how many sponsors that could get." Bobby seems to be thinking about his offer -if he could call it that- for a few instants, just to immediately turn him down. "Besides, I think I'd have more chances of winning with you out of the way." 

At least he hasn't paid attention to the training either. He thought. Because why in the world would one think that he'd have any chance? "Sorry for your sister, but you have to go, Magnus." Those were his last words before jumping on him, running him through with his sword. 

Peter didn't even have time to react, so he just closed his eyes waiting for his death. 

Next thing that happened, a cannon shot went off. 

~~~

She sighed, making Darwin turn towards her. "You alright?" He asked her, worried her head injury was infected. She shook her head. "I'm fine. I just need-"

Her words were interrupted by a cannon-shot.

"The Favourites" "The Careers." They said together.

"Favourites?" He gave her a weird look, to which she blushed. "Uh, yeah. It's a stupid joke I have with my sister. Technically they're Capitol's favourites right?" Darwin raised an eyebrow, amused by her answer. 

"I guess you're right." But he immediately turned serious once he remembered what they just heard. "Who do you think went down?" She didn't want to answer. She couldn't. Even if it wasn't Peter, it felt wrong to her to just say a random name as in some sort of bet. Then again, Darwin just asked her a thought. 

"Maybe the girl from district 3." She mumbled. "She seemed pretty weak." She felt terrible for saying that. 

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, probably her." It hurts her to see how little he cares. True, they didn't know her. But would it hurt showing a bit of empathy?

She must have shown her feeling through her face, because Darwin immediately tries to comfort her -failing miserably- "She would have died anyway y/n. We could be the next too. There's not much room left for feelings."

As much as she hated it, he was right. But then again, he hated how quickly he had turned his emotions off. She didn't answer him, and just went on walking this time in front of him. Her previous need for water suddenly disappeared, substituted by a knot formed in her stomach, caused by Darwin reaction.  

She needed Peter. She needed him now more than ever, because she knew that he would agree with her. He would tell her not to worry, that at least now she -if it really was the female from 3- won't suffer anymore. 

Maybe he'd hold her in an embrace, or simply hold her hand in comfort. But maybe holding hands was something he considered too "boyfriend and girlfriend" kinda thing. Or maybe it was just how she saw it in her mind, and he wouldn't have minded it. 

Holding hands or not, she needed Peter. And that was a fact.

¤¤¤

After spending the whole day walking to search for a source of water -on their side, y/n woke up really late due to Darwin not wanting to wake her up- they finally stopped. They set their "camp" behind a fallen log that covered them. More or less. "No signs of water yet?" y/n simply shook his head no, a defeated look on her face. 

He looked at the girl for a good minute before speaking again. "We need to find it, y/n. Or we won't survive long." 

"Yeah no shit Darwin!" She snapped. She took a deep breath in, and answered him again, more calmly. "Sorry. I know, but there's not much I can do." He didn't give her an answer, simply stared at her.

"Maybe you can talk about it?"

"About what."

"About Peter and how you're so convinced the cannon was for him? Maybe?" 

She looked down at the ground, slowly leaning on a tree. "So?" 

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm good."

"No you're clearly not. Look, it's fine by me if you don't wanna say anything about that. But you have to keep your mind clear alright? That boy can't be your first thought here. Neither can I, really. 

You have to be selfish for once, and fight for your own life. Not Peter's, not mine, yours." He sat next to her and took her hand in his. "Plus, your doubts are about to be either confirmed or denied." She looked up just as the national anthem went on. 

She needed to know if it was Peter or if he survived the day. And when the night sky was illuminated with the picture of the fallen tribute, she couldn't help but feel sick in the stomach, as she needed to vomit. His being the only death of the day, the sky went full dark again a few minutes later. 

"Are you ok?" Darwin asked her. She nodded. "I'll do the first turn." Not fully understanding her reaction, he nodded, not wanting to disagree with her. He fixed his backpack and tried to quickly fall asleep, as his companion sat on a rock looking at the knife the boy had used the day before to kill in the bloodbath. 

She closed her eyes and, for the first time in two days, cleared her mind from any feeling she could have at that moment.

She hated admitting it, but Darwin was right. 

There's no room for feelings in the Arena. 

tags: @raincoffeeandfandoms @sweeter-innocence-fics @pappachismoth

comment or reblog if you wanna be added or removed :)

#peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff imagine #peter maximoff x y/n #peter maximoff x reader #evan peters x y/n #evan peters x you #evan peters x reader #evan peters #peter maximoff #the hunger games au

[oingo233]

You Are Beautiful (1)

Summary: Sirius Black was entranced since the moment he saw you. He had to have you but you are convinced his feelings are fleeting, and will only hurt you. People inside and outside of your relationship meddle in the makings of something that could be beautiful... or disastrous. Will love and confidence win? Or will doubt and uncertainty tear you both down?

Young Sirius Black x Pus SizedFemReader

Warning: one inappropriate joke lol, fluff I suppose and nothing else really. All the real stuff comes later :0

Authors note: I mostly write my xreader fics as neutral but as this is a request, I wrote this as fem. But if anyone would like a male version or neutral version let me know and I will copy this but obviously change readers gender (and it's no burden to me I'd love to make more readers feel included and represented). Also reader is plus sized and she is confident and strong throughout the fic -because plus sized characters aren't represented like that in film/books alot (but if looking for amazing and empowering plus sized female characters Nina Zenik from Six of Crows owns my entire heart and changed how I saw myself personally and I would recommend that book for anyone really)- but as any human she has her insecurities because beauty standards are unattainable and have a way excluding so many people and making us feel less than beautiful. As a plus sized/overweight person myself, I understand how we have to fight to feel beautiful and fight this internalized bias we have when we look in the mirror. But WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. WE ARE WORTHY OF MAGAZINGE COVERS AND COMPLIMENTS AND ABOVE ALL SELF LOVE!! The self insert character in this has fought for her confidence, but it will shake and stumble throughout the series and Sirius and friends are there for her to help her realize for herself how beautiful she truly is, once again. So I hope I didn't stray too far from the request :) Enjoy....

Word Count: 1.8

Authors Note: About halfway through I decided to make it a series oops-

****Blabbering Idiot****

Sirius Black is a man of many, many words. In fact, I'm sure if he was writing this he could quickly turn it into one of the most entertaining novels ever written. He'd describe the laughter of his friends for a whole page. Tell a hilarious joke on the next. Then he'd describe the wind blowing through the open halls and courtyard and the spring sun. He could write about a great many things in great detail. (But he wouldn't because he doesn't quite enjoy writing as much as he does anything else, but that's above the point.)

As I said, Sirius Black is a man of many words. So it was such a curious thing when he first saw you. It was an astounding thing really, because for the first time he found something that rendered him completely speechless.

The sun was peeking through the open corridor and pooled onto you, caressing your skin and hair in an ethereal glow. Highlighting curves that brought both sinful and sweet thoughts running through him. It was as if the universe was telling him, look at what we've created, look at this beautiful creature. But he could hardly believe that this world could create something so lovely and kind. You threw your head back in laughter at something your friend said and suddenly the world is back to normal and all he can hear is your laughter and the sound of his friends curiosity at what could have possibly kept him from the conversation about muggle rock compared to Wizard bands. In fact, James was so passionate about it half the hall turned to listen to his rendition of The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.

But he didn't care, he took a feeble step towards you and suddenly felt so nervous his hands began to sweat. He stuttered and coughed up his words just for a simple "hello" in your direction only for the wind blowing through the halls to carry it away. And his friends laughed at him as he watched you walk too far from where he wanted you. Because, oh did he want you.

Sirus POV:

"I'm telling you, I won't be able to sleep tonight unless I know who she is," Sirius says for not the first time that evening. James started to laugh.

"Why? Because you'll be too busy thinking of her?" James said, laughing as he made a very suggestive hand motion. Peter cackled and Remus rolled his eyes, trying to find the cleaner side of his humor but instead he couldn't help but snort. Sirius pushed James's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure Lily would love to know how familiar with that feeling you are," Sirius says and James stopped laughing immediately, his eyes narrowed.

"Please, you wouldn't dare. And I will deny all accusations, you'll be made out to be a liar. Then the mystery girl will never love you. Is that what you want, Pads?" James joked with a single arch of his brow. Sirius just rolled his eyes. He was only half paying attention, he has been scouring the hallways since he first saw that girl. He wanted to speak to her again, or maybe just stare for a bit. If things went well, he'd be able to do both those things on a date. But he hasn't seen her since that morning and his heart felt oddly shallow. He wanted those butterflies he had when looking at her to come back and overwhelm him again.

"What'll it matter if I don't even know who she is? Or- or if I can't talk to her? No one falls in love with a blabbering idiot," Sirius says. Remus shrugs.

"Lily fell in love with James," he says, Peter laughed again.

"Yeah, regardless of what he does at night," Peter added and now both James and Sirius were rolling their eyes. James and Lily just recently stopped denying their feelings for one another and gave into the sexual tension and mutual pining. Their relationship was still fairly new but they act as if they've been together for years. Sirius supposed that in a way, they have been.

Sirius would watch them giggling, hand and hand in the hall. He'd see them cuddling in the common room, or coming back after dates with rosy cheeks and beaming smiles. Sirius would never admit it out loud, but his heart cried out when he saw them like that. He rarely ever felt lonely. He could have any girl or boy he wanted if he really tried, but for what? One fun night? Only for one more morning where he wakes up alone? He wanted more than that whenever he saw Lily and James, their happiness was palpable. Their love was suffocating.

Sirius always thought he'd find the one after Hogwarts, if at all. But when he saw her... well that changed everything. In a flash he saw himself with her, their hands intertwined and her head thrown back in laughter. Rosy cheeks and bruised lips. Warm beds and making love... being in love. He nearly felt silly after and yet, he knew that even if he did sleep tonight, it would be her he'd dream of.

"Ello' guys!" Lily said, bouncing up to James who kissed her cheek. They walked with their arms looped and Sirius glared at the easy sign of affection. He thought of his parents, how they would be stiff with one another except for in quiet moments, when he'd pass through a hall and glance into their room. He'd spot a quick kiss on the cheek, and soft squeeze of the hand. It were those odd moments for him, that struck him so strongly with a sharp bitterness. They don't deserve softness and love, he'd think, how can such cruel creatures even feel such things? But even then, he'd walk away seeing them as still awful creatures born from the depths of hell, but more human.

"That's her," Sirius whispered so quietly Remus almost didn't hear it. In fact, Sirius didn’t think Remus heard it at all, but it was rather his look of longing towards the Great Hall entrance that gave him away. Because standing right there, was you.

Your hair was a little wind blown, messy around your face, bits of iit shaped your round cheeks and soft eyes. Sirius eyed you up and down and cursed clothes and cursed shyness and cursed his own head for thinking he could even talk to you. But most of all, he cursed a group of boys who walked past you.

Sirius was a confident boy, he knew how to spot someone who held their head up just as high as he did, and you were very much one of those people. You were giggling as you stole a biscuit from a friend and popped it into your mouth, you covered your mouth as you laughed when they complained with a little smile of their own.

"It's just so yummy, and I haven't eaten since breakfast." He heard you say, your friend just shook his head and handed you a plate as you sat down next to him. But right before you could get comfortable a sneering group of boys stole a piece of food from your hand and said something rather rude.

Sirius didn't even realize he had been walking towards you, this girl he has never even spoken too, yet thought of so endearingly, until he was standing right before the boys and had the pack leaders wrist firmly in his grip.

"Drop it boy, c'mon, drop it," he teased. It was humiliating for the boy and he knew it by the laughing and sneering others directed towards the group of boys, but Sirius did not care. The boy dropped the biscuit and looked as if his tail was tucked into his legs. "Good boy," he said, ruffling his hair until it was a knotted mess, the boy winced at just how hard Sirius dug his knuckles into his scalp, Sirius relented with a satisfied smirk.

Sirius’s voice took on a much harsher tone, "Now scram." The boys were out of their seats and in new ones within seconds.

Sirius felt his mood shift completely once they left, because now all eyes were on him, yours included. He looked up at you rather shyly, his hair falling in strands over his forehead. He tucked it behind his ear and found some confidence in the way your eyes followed the movement and how you blushed. He gave you his best smile, hoping his charm wasn't as weak as his legs felt at that moment.

"Hello, I'm Sirius... Sirius Black." Then, like an idiot he put his hand out for you to shake, what charmer just shakes the ladies hand? He stopped belittling himself the moment you softly placed your hand in his.

"It's nice to meet you, Sirius, and thanks for helping me. I know how to handle those filthy 'dogs'" you said, smiling as you remembered the way he spoke to them, he chuckled. "But I suppose it's nice not always having to," you finished with a bright smile on your face. He felt his own cheeks heat up and he nodded but could not think of anything better to say.

"Name," he said, you raised your brows. He cleared his throat, "your name?"

"Oh, how rude of me," you said and then you laughed, that same laugh that caught his attention and has yet to let go. "I'm (y/n) (y/l/n)."

"Nice to meet you," he said, it was as if he couldn't feel the appalled stares of your friends because all he could see was the blush on your cheeks and your head thrown back in laughter. He swallowed thickly before making his way back to his friends. They all wore raised brows and smirks, and he knew they were about to bite into him.

"Treating them like dogs, really? A bit ironic don't you think," Lily said, James shrugged

"That's why it was so good," he said, high fiving Sirius.

"But it admittedly went downhill from there," Peter was sure to add, just like Sirius knew one of them would. Sirius just laughed, too elated to finally know who you were.

"Don't start," he said, but it was too late.

All in union they sputtered out the lame word that will plague Sirius' memory of that moment forever, "Name?"

They cackled at him and ruffled his hair all the way to their seats, but Sirius knew they were pleased for him. And Sirius didn't mind, he could feel the pretty eyes of a pretty girl following him across the room. If only someone told him how important she would become to him, maybe he would have looked back at her and never looked away.

Taglist <3

@enchantedblackrose

#sirius black #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black angst #sirius black fluff #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x reader #young sirius x reader #young sirius black #young sirius imagine #harry potter fandom #the marauders #plus sized reader #sirius black x plus sized reader

[metalheddie]

In Full Bloom

summary: Spencer goes to the flower shop 1 (one) time and falls in love somehow.

tw: mention of medication, Diana's care facility, Diana lashing out mention

word count: 3.9k

a/n: Alright y'all!!! It's finally here! My first ever fic :) I apologize if some of it is a bit clunky or awkward... this is my first time writing and posting anything like this. I hope y'all like this as much as I liked writing it! and this is a Spencer x POC!reader :)

It was early Saturday morning when y/n opened her shop. Unlocking the doors and stepping inside. It was raining pretty heavily, too. She closed her pastel pink umbrella and put it in the basket next to the door. She stopped to take a deep breath, she loved the smell of fresh flowers in the morning. She walked towards the back to turn on her fairy lights and low lighting for her plants and put on her pastel apron with embroidery on the trim. She turned the radio on to the oldies station and Etta James’ Stormy Weather was playing,

Don't know why

There's no sun up in the sky

Stormy weather

Since my man and I ain't together

Keeps raining all of the time...

A perfect song for this morning. Singing to herself, she twirled as she moved towards her supplies, she got to work caring for her flowers and miscellaneous plants around her space.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

A few hours later, a light ting of the bell above the door of the flower shop sounded. Y/n hadn’t looked up from the bonsai she was trimming, as she was too immersed in her work to realize someone had walked in. When she finally looked up, she was surprised to see a tall and handsome stranger staring back at her. In that instant, she felt her heart stop for an eternity. He stood there a bit awkwardly as he waited to be helped. Snapping out of the trance she had previously been in, she walked over to the counter where he was standing.

“Hey there! How can I help you today?”

Her face slightly flushed but it wasn’t so noticeable on her tawny brown skin.

“Hi, um, can you help me find some flowers for- for my mom?”

Y/n noticed that he says this a bit sheepishly, almost as if he’s embarrassed to be getting flowers for his mom. Or maybe he’s just awkward, who’s to say?

“Sure! Is there anything specific you’d like to say with this bouquet?”

“Um, yes...well I just wanted to let her know that I appreciate her and I love her very much. She hasn't been feeling well recently, so I wanted to do this small thing for her just to let her know I’ll always be here…”

Y/n smiled at that. It was always so nice to see a man value his mom so much. It warms her heart.

“Aww, well I'm so sorry that she hasn’t been feeling well. I think that's so sweet of you to do this for her. I get my mom flowers when she’s not feeling well too” y/n says with a smile.

“So,” she says, clapping her hands together softly, “I think the best flowers to get her would be Carnations, pink of course, and daisies!”

Y/n excitedly moves around the counter and beckons him to follow her. He does this with a small smile, admiring how animated she had become.

“Why those specific flowers?” he asks.

“Well,” Y/n started, “Did you know that Carnations symbolize the love for a mother as well as the phrase 'I will never forget you’ ” The daisies mean innocence, motherhood, and purity. That meaning stems from the old Celtic legend. In Norse mythology, it’s known as Freya’s sacred flower. Freya is the goddess of love, beauty, and fertility, so it only makes sense that this would be her flower!” y/n continued excitedly.

The man nodded along in interest, all the while y/n was collecting and arranging the flowers in a lovely bouquet, putting them in a small and tasteful vase. She brought them over to the counter to ring him up, fixing the flowers as she went.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Spencer’s POV

While on my way to my mom’s care facility, I saw a quaint little flower shop at the corner of the intersection. I decided to stop in and get some flowers for her. She hasn’t been doing well recently… She’s been lashing out at the nurses and is almost always agitated. Hopefully, this small act will remind her of all the love there is in life.

As I pull into the parking lot of the shop I notice the sign, hand-painted with a unique border that reads Fantasy Flower Shoppe. The side of the building is covered with several winding paths of ivy, truly giving it a fairytale cottage feel. The railing up the steps to the entrance has the ivy as well, acting as a guide to the sage green door.

I stepped through the door, mesmerized at the inside of the shop. There were plants and flowers hanging from the ceiling, on wooden tables, in large pots on the ground, and even in a large misty cabinet on the east wall. A small record player radio hybrid was nestled in between a budding avocado tree and a pot of budding bluebells softly playing what I believe to be I’ve Got a Crush on You by Ella Fitzgerald…

I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie

All the day and nighttime, hear me sigh

I’ve never had the least notion

That I could fall with so much emotion…

I looked around the room, searching for someone who could help me, that's when I laid eyes on the most beautiful girl in the world. She had dark, curly hair that fell to her shoulders wrapped in a cream-colored silk bandanna. She wore a cocoa brown dress with a beige long sleeve shirt underneath and an apron with what looks to be hand-embroidered flowers on the hem. I felt as though I was put under her spell as I gazed at her. She hadn’t looked up from her work, being so focused on trimming her bonsai, she hadn’t realized I had walked in.

I let my eyes linger on her a bit longer as I appreciated her focus. She must have felt my eyes on her, for she looked up and met my eyes. I quickly turned away, as to not make her feel uncomfortable, but also to hide the redness rising high on my cheeks. I suddenly realized what I came into the shop for in the first place.

“Hi, um, can you help me find some flowers for- for my mom?” I stuttered out, cursing myself internally for it.

She smiled sweetly and agreed to help me pick out the best flowers for her. She suggested I get Pink Carnations and daisies. I already knew that those would be the best choice, but I loved the sound of her voice. So as an excuse to continue to listen to her, I asked

“Why those specific flowers?”

I watched her eyes light up with a passion I never knew existed and proceeded to tell me the meanings and origins of both flowers.

“-so it only makes sense that this would be her flower!” she said

I nodded along in interest as if I didn’t already know the answer. She became so animated when she talked about the things she cares about. It was refreshing after being in the BAU for this long and witnessing so much hate and sorrow that came with the job. Seeing someone filled with passion and liveliness when it comes to making a career out of their hobbies was a wonderful thing. All this was not to say that I didn’t like being in the BAU. I wouldn’t be able to leave my family there, not now anyway.

Speaking of family, I need to go to the care facility before visiting hours are over.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Y/n POV

I set the flowers on the counter, tying a silk ribbon around the vase just to add a little flair.

“Alright! That’ll be $10.50.” I said with a smile.

I look up from the register to see him staring at me with a crooked smile. God, he was cute. I wish I was confident enough to ask for his number… Hopefully, I’ll see him again someday. After admiring his features for what seemed like a lifetime, I realized we’ve just been staring at each other since I looked up at him. I start to get a bit insecure. Why has he been staring so long? Is there something on my face? Oh my god is that pesky pimple back?

As y/n was internally freaking out, Spencer on the other hand was basking in her beauty. He couldn’t believe he was standing in the presence of such an ethereal being like her. Her… Oh god. He doesn’t even know her name.

“Um,” y/n stuttered, “Hello? Are you alright?” She lifted her hand to wave it in front of his face to get his attention.

“Oh! I- I- uhh, Sorry about that. I got a bit distracted…” Spencer stumbled over his words like a teenager in love. “What was the total again?” he asked embarrassedly, a blush rising from the bottom of his chest to the tip tops of his ears.

“Oh, um it was $10.50,” she repeated with a newfound shyness, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

Spencer tried not to fumble with his wallet too severely in an effort to save himself any further embarrassment in front of the pretty florist. That plan failed miserably because as soon as he pulled out his cash, several coins flew out of his wallet. He muttered a quick ‘I’m so sorry as he bent down to get them.

What he didn’t notice was y/n bending down to help him. As she collected the few that fell over by the counter and he collected the ones on his side, they both stood up slightly too close together and headbutted each other. It wasn’t hard enough to leave a bruise or bump, but enough to send a shock through both of them.

Y/n stumbled hard enough from the collision and surprise that she almost toppled over. At the last second, the handsome stranger reached out and grabbed her hand, effectively steadying her.

Rubbing her forehead y/n said “I'm so sorry! Are you alright?”

Letting go of her hand, Spencer replied “Oh, no I’m sorry, I didn't even realize you were right there. Is your head ok?” He was genuinely worried if she was ok.

“Oh, I’m fine, no need to worry!” y/n giggled.

Spencer set the money on the counter and put his wallet away. Y/n rang him up and gave him his receipt.

“Oh, wait! Before you go, I wanted to ask if you wanted to add a small card or note…free of charge” y/n said, the last bit a little sheepishly because of what (she hoped) she was implying. Unfortunately for her, Spencer was very dense when it came to flirting, so he didn’t pick up what she meant.

“Really? Thank you…”

y/n grabbed a card with a pretty border and one of her fountain pens. She looked up at him and nodded, waiting for him to start speaking.

“Live the wonderful life that is in you. Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing. I love you, mom. Love, Spencer.”

y/n smiled at that. This was one of the sweetest bouquets she’s ever had the pleasure of putting together, too bad he’ll be gone before she knows it.

“Well Spencer, you're all set! Thank you for stopping in today, I hope to see you again soon,” she says with a smile. Although this encounter was fleeting, she was enamored with him.

“Thank you for all your help. I wouldn't have been able to do this,” he gestured to the vase full of flowers, “without you, um, I’m so sorry I never got your name...”

“Y/n,” she supplied. “and it's no problem! Stop in whenever you'd like!”

With that, he walked out with a small wave and a smile. Y/n sighed happily, knowing that the rest of her day was going to go very well.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Spencer’s POV

Once I left the shop and was on my way to the care facility, I realized I couldn't stop thinking about her. Like she put me under her spell as soon as I laid my eyes upon her. I want to see her again but it’s not like I get flowers all the time for people… Maybe I should do that, for the sake of the economy and helping out a small business. Also, it makes people feel appreciated, so what's not to like about getting and giving flowers?

By the time I decided that buying flowers for people would be my new gift-giving method, I had arrived at the care facility. I took a deep breath and exited the car. I was nervous to see what kind of day my mom was having. The last time I talked to her nurses, they said she wasn’t doing as well as they had hoped once they put her on new medication. I, of course, still wanted to visit her. She’s my mom, the person that has been there for me always.

After checking in and locating her I greeted her with a smile and a warm hug.

“Oh, Spencer! I’ve missed you so much! I have to tell you about this poem by Jane Austen I read the other day…”

“I can’t wait to hear it, mom.” He said. He was so glad she was having a good day. He wanted to tell her about y/n after she said her piece.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

“ ...and that's why I can never read it again without thinking about Stevie Nicks!” exclaimed Diana.

Spencer was having such a nice time with his mom and he must have lost track of time because when he looked at his watch it was almost the end of visiting hours. It completely slipped his mind to tell his mom about the beautiful girl who runs the flower shop.

“Mom… Do you believe in love at first sight?” he asks, a little out of the blue considering the conversation they were having before.

“Well Spencer, that’s a pretty hard question to answer. I think it all depends on the other person's first impression that they may have had on you before even opening their mouth to speak. Though I’m not sure if I’ve ever experienced that feeling firsthand…” she answered honestly.

Spencer sat there contemplating the advice he was given and said

“I met this girl today… She owns the flower shop just a few minutes away from here. She helped me pick out the flowers I gave you. She was kind and so smart. She knew the meanings of the flowers off the top of her head like it was nothing. Her smile could light up any room and I could tell she was so passionate about her job. I would like to think she would be my first experience of love at first sight…” he rambled hoping he didn’t sound foolish.

Diana looked at him and shook her head lovingly.

“She sounds wonderful, Spencer. Please tell her thank you from me the next time you see her.”

And with that, visiting hours were over and it was time for him to head home.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

The Next Day

The next day Spencer Reid walked into the bullpen with a smile on his face and a pep in his step. He was still a bit giddy from the encounter he had yesterday, playing it over and over in his mind. The perks of having an eidetic memory. Since he works with a bunch of profilers, they were able to analyze his cheerfulness and boil it down to-

“So who’s the special lady?” Derek asked as he walked up to Spencer’s desk with two mugs in his hand, one labeled ‘Spencer Reid’.

Spencer froze, trying to make up a lie to explain his cheerful mood. “I- uh, I was j-just visiting my mom yesterday and she was having a really good day. No other ‘ladies’ in my life, thank you” he said as he snatched his mug from Derek. Tasting it and mentally noting that it needed more sugar.

Derek looked at him and obviously wasn’t convinced, but he dropped it, for now, settling for “Alright pretty boy, if you say so…” he chuckled and walked away, leaving spencer glowing red at his desk.

He folded his arms on his desk and put his head between them to hide his blush. If the day kept going on like this, he might turn into a permanent tomato.

~

A few hours later, after finishing his paperwork for the case they had finished a few days ago, he headed to Penelope’s office just to visit. In all honesty, she was just as much his best friend as Derek, just in a different way. She always gave him some much-needed positivity in his everyday life, and he will always be forever grateful to her for that.

As she walked into her lair she turned in her swivel chair and greeted him with a happy smile.

“What's Cookin good-lookin?” she teased, hearing from Morgan that something was up with him.

“Ha ha very funny Garcia.” he joked with her internally cursing Morgan for spilling the non-existent beans.

“Sooo…. Who’s the lucky lady that has caught the eye of the wonderful Junior G-Man?” Garcia teased, yet genuinely curious.

“There’s no girl I swear!” he lied through his teeth, and pretty badly at that.

Penelope shot him a look that said “Do not lie to the omnipotent being that is moi, I know all”

Spencer sighed and sat in the other spinny chair in her office and said,

“Yesterday I went to the little flower shop near my moms care facility just to do something nice for her because she hasn't been doing well recently,”

Garcia frowned a little at that and put her hand on his knee, comforting touches are just her thing and he knows that, so he doesn’t push her away, he places his hand on top of hers. He knows how much he cares.

“It was beautiful n there, but what really caught my eye was the girl working there… She was beautiful. She was so kind and she was incredibly smart. Her eyes were like honey in the sun and I’m sure she’s artistic because the sign out front was hand-painted… but all that aside, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.” he continued.

Garcia was practically vibrating in her seat with excitement as he finished. She was just so excited to see him happy.

“Spencer oh my god! She sounds perfect! You need to ask her out like today.” she said while turning to her computer. Spencer has a feeling of what her next question is so he says,

“No, Garcia, I will not tell you her name so you can do a deep dive on her life.” as he side-eyes her. Her face contorted into a pout at his words.

“But Spencer please~, “ she begs. “I can find out all her favorite places so you can take her there for your date!”

“No Garcia… I want to get to know her properly. No FBI intervention. Plus, I want her to take me to her favorite spots because she wants me to, not because I already know what she likes…” he states as he imagines what going on a coffee date with y/n would look like.

“Alright alright fine, but pinky promise that you’ll fill me in on all the details when you eventually take her on a date.” She said while holding her pinky out for him to accept.

“Deal.” he said as he locked pinkies with her.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

As y/n went to start cleaning up for the evening, the light ting of the bell above the shop sounded once more. As tired as she is, she turns and slaps a happy smile on her face

“Hi welcome in! How can I help you today?”

As she turns she sees the handsome man from yesterday, Spencer, if she remembers correctly. He looks even more adorable than before with his sweater vest and all-star chucks. She smiles genuinely now, tucking her curls behind her ears in an attempt to seem more casual.

“Hi again… I um I needed to get some flowers for my friend. She just announced that she’s having another baby and I wanted to congratulate her with something other than future baby items because unfortunately, I have no idea what I would get for her if I went down that route…” he trailed off, stuffing his hands in his pockets and making the Awkward White Person smile, obviously nervous and giving himself away with the rambling.

Y/n was so excited at the news of a baby she immediately got to work.

“Oh my goodness how exciting! Does she know the gender yet?” she asked just so she can accurately style the bouquet.

“Yeah! She’s having a little boy.” He smiles at that and he visibly relaxes. Y/n takes that as a sign that he’s warming up to her a little.

~

After half an hour of picking out the perfect flowers and placing them into a large vase, y/n finally tied a blue silk ribbon around the neck of it. She added a few finishing touches and voila! Her masterpiece was complete.

All the while Spencer was standing on the other side of the counter watching her work with such adoration in his eyes. He enjoyed watching her work. Adding flair and certain specializations to every bouquet to make them each unique.

After finishing y/n peers to the side of the large vase of flowers to look at Spencer in the eyes. To her surprise, he’s already leaned over and looking at her too. They share a brief moment of admiration of each other before getting embarrassed and looking away like a couple of high school kids.

“So, since this is a gift for a friend, It’ll be on the house…” she says desperately hoping he’ll pick up on the hint this time.

“Oh my god...I - I can’t let you do that. Here,” he takes out his wallet and tries to pull out 35$ in cash.

y/n reaches over and puts her hands over his. “That’s not necessary, really. I don’t mind…” she says this with a warm smile. Just being able to spend these few fleeting moments with him in her shop has brought her so much joy.

“Thank you… That’s so generous of you, but I can’t just let you give me a whole flower arrangement without something in return…” he stalls. “Would you let me take you out for coffee? I know a great spot near the farmers market, and it has a flower booth too…” His hands are trembling a bit but she doesn’t notice because she’s smiling so hard her cheeks are beginning to feel sore.

She nods enthusiastically and says “Yes. Of course, I’ll go out with you.”

She slides him a piece of paper with her number on it and leans over to kiss him on the cheek. He accepts it and flushes so brightly, it rivals that of the sun. They wave goodbye after scheduling their date for Saturday, and y/n could tell that soon this relationship would be in full bloom.

Fin~

tag list:

pls message me if you’d like to be added or removed <3 !!

@ssavanessa22 @boldlyvoid @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @meganskane @ilovespencerreidmarryme @g0lden-cth

#maddies fics <3 #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid au #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x y/n #boldlyreblog

[fiftyshadesgrl]

WRECKED PART 18

I know it's been a long time since I have updated this series but here is the newest chapter. I hope you all like it.

"Open your fuckin eyes y/n!" Negans harsh words were muffled, he sounded worried. My head felt full, to heavy and the throb behind my eyes made me want to scream. I tried but I couldn't move a muscle or say anything. I felt like I was floating maybe I really was dead. "Tell Sarah to get her fucking ass to the medical tent!"

"Ne....gan." that was as much as I could muster up. My eyes opened just slightly, enough to see negan and the blur of trees. I must have been in his arms and he was running. I was numb everywhere, except for that damn throb in my head.

Negan glanced at me for a second, "it's okay baby, we are almost there. You just hang in there." His voice so soft but why was there fear in it. It hurt to much to think right now and my vision began to tunnel again. I just wanted to sleep.

"Sle...eeep." I croaked out but before I fully succumbed to it I heard negans harsh voice. "Dont you fuckin dare go to sleep. You stay the fuck awake. You fuckin hear me! Damn it y/n, don't fuckin do this to me!"

I tried, I really did to keep my eyes open like he wanted but there was just no way to fight it.

Negans pov

The medical tent was in sight, my fuckin heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest. It wasn't from carrying y/n or running while doing so. It was fuckin fear. Something I haven't felt in a really fuckin long time. Not since my first wife. I don't handle this emotion well and I refuse to let this be the end for me and y/n.

Simon jumped out from the woods beside me just as the dirt road turned gravel. He kept pace with me every step of the way. "If Sarah isn't in that fuckin tent then she will have a date with Lucille later."

Simon was breathing heavy but never faltering. "I radioed when we found her. She should be there." He glanced over at y/n and then back ahead, "is she gonna be okay?"

"I'm not a fuckin doctor!" The tent was a fee seconds away. Simon jumped ahead of me and held it open so I could get y/n in quickly. Sarah stood there, worry etching her face. When I laid y/n on the table worry was replaced by horror.

Sarah started an IV, then began examining the wound. "Sir, i...I don't know...this is bad."

"Do what you fuckin have to to save her. That means shut your fuckin mouth and do your job!" The woman flinched at my words, good she should be.

"Sir, she's lost alot of blood. She will more than likely need a transfusion and her heart may give out before we can type her and find someone with the type she needs. If she has internal bleeding I'm not qualified enough nor do I have the tools here to stop it. The baby is also a concern..."

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled in her face, she jumped back but only for a second. She refocused back on my wife, "You will save her. No matter what you have to do, my wife will not fuckin die. If she does, so will you. Do you fuckin understand that!?"

She nodded quickly, "yes sir." I watched as she began to hook y/n up to a heart monitor and some other lines. There was a slow beeping sound on the heart monitor but Sarah kept working. I had to walk outside for a moment because seeing my strong wife like this brought up those old emotions and I couldnt take that right now.

I spotted Simon and quickly made my way to him. "I wanna know who these new fuckers are and I want to know now!"

"We didn't see anyone in the woods like y/n described. They are either really skilled at hiding or." I cut Simon off, "don't you dare say she was fucking hallucinating or some shit."

"No sir, I was going to say or they are new to the area. I wouldn't put it past Rick that he was involved somehow." Simon adjusted his belt and shifted on his feet as if saying Rick's name made him nervous.

I slung Lucille over my shoulder, "I think it's a good fuckin idea if we pay that fucker a visit." Simon smiled and nodded then walked towards the sanctuary. I stayed outside for a few more minutes then I heard Sarah's voice. "Sir." When I turned around she had blood all over her shirt, my stomach about dropped outta my ass at the sight. "Shes stable, but it's going to be touch and go for a while."

"You just saved your ass." I told her as I walked past her. Before I entered the tent I also added, "wanna keep it that way, keep her alive."

Y/N POV

My brain was so fuzzy feeling, my eyes tried to open but they felt as if they were glued together. I tried to swallow but my throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper. "Y/n? Can you hear me?" A woman's voice sounded from beside me, I know that voice. My eyes opened slightly, she was sitting beside me holding a cup of water. My lips felt so dry and the water was so tempting. "You have to wake up a little more before you get the water." I willed myself to wake up because I really wanted that water. She nodded her approval and put the cup to my lips I drank and drank until there was none left.

"Better?" Sarah asked, I nodded which made the room spin. "You are one lucky duck. You had no internal bleeding and your baby is fine. It just went through your muscle, I stitched you up and you'll be down for a while but you'll recover."

I breathed a sigh of relief because my baby was okay. That's the one thing I was worried about, it didn't matter about me but my baby had to live. "Negan is going to be relieved to know you're awake and are gonna be okay." A shiver ran through me at the mention of his name. He's going to be so angry with me, he will never want me again.

"I gave you some pain meds so you'll be comfortable for a while. Negan is out now getting more. He should be back anytime." Sarah walked around me and checked the tube and monitors before she seemed to relax.

"How...long?" I whispered but thankfully she knew what I meant.

"You've been out for eight days. You lost a lot of blood and it was a good thing you were out so long. Your body has had time to start healing without you moving around." The sound of a truck approaching got both of our attention, "that's probably negan now."

I shook with fear, not knowing what negan would say or do when he found out I was awake. He burst through the door but said nothing, he just stood there staring. Sarah came in right behind him placing various bottles and another bag on the table.

"Sarah, is she good enough for you take a lunch break?" Negan asked in his low no bull shit voice.

Sarah waked over to the monitor above my bed, "she will be good until I get back." With that Sarah left not saying another word. Negan slowly sat down in the chair beside me, his leather jacket squeaking as he sat. He didn't say anything, he just sat there glaring at me.

"Negan." I began but he cut me off by holding up his hand.

"Save it. I don't want to hear any bullshit fucking excuses. You are in this position because you couldn't follow orders, one fucking order!" The muscle in his jaw ticked, "you are my fucking wife, carrying my fucking child. You almost died, so did my baby just because you have to show off your big fuckin lady balls!"

"I know." I closed my eyes, I felt my tears falling but I didn't care.

Negan jumped up and the chair clattering to the floor making me jump. "Oh no! Don't you fucking pull that shit on me. You don't get to be fuckin upset when this is all your fault."

"I know. But negan." I started again but he wasn't done talking.

"Every second you are in pain doesn't compare to the pain I fuckin felt when I thought I lost you." He stepped back beside my bed seemingly more calm, "now because of you I have double the fuckin work to do. I have to deal with Rick and his bullshit and I have to find whatever group you ran into. So don't expect me to be coming by and visiting."

"But-"

"No! I've got shit to deal with." With that he left me. Sarah came back a while later just when my pain meds started to wear off. I didn't care, like negan said I deserved this. I feel like I've lost everything, Sarah noticed my tears and came to sit beside me.

"He's been through alot honey. There was a few days there that I didn't know if I could save you. He will come around."

I shook my head, "no, no he won't. I think I just lost my husband for good

@missamberv @an-unhealthy-obsession @vicmc624 @tftumblin @justanotherwinchester @jesseswartzwelder @holylulusworld @fangirl199812 @emerloveskate

#wreckedseries #jeffreydeanmorgansmut #negansmut #negan fanfiction #negan #twd negan #the walking dead negan #negan angst

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Twenty Four)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Twenty Three ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Twenty Five

Marnie pov.

The sensation is like being punched in the stomach. You lose your breath and immediately feel a terrible pain gnawing through your entire body, reaching down to your last strand of hair. Your heart starts pumping blood faster, so that your body can overcome the pain and you have the strength to fight back, but I can't.

I can't get over the pain. I can't react better than staring at Pamela wearing his shirt, in his room. I can't move, let alone make my brain work to process all this. What is she doing here?

“What…” my voice barely has the strength to come out.

That wasn't the plan. She shouldn't be here. Luke called her? Have they been talking? How long has she been with him? I don't remember seeing pictures of them together recently. Does it also have John's finger in it?

"Marnie? I can't believe you actually came. God damn is a lot of courage, or lack of notion, I don't know.” she looks at me in utter disapproval.

I focus my eyes inside the room, wanting to find any clue that it wasn't Luke's room. It can not be. But everything indicates, unfortunately, I'm wrong. The boots at the door, the coat on the armchair, the guitar on the sofa, the scattered candles. It's his room. Shit, it's his room.

“What are you doing here?” I gather forces to confront.

“Stop it, Marnie. We are not innocent little children. We both know very well what I'm doing here. The question is, what are you doing here?” Pamela crosses her arms, raising her eyebrows.

For the first time in years since I've known her, I feel intimidated. Tiny against her. The slightest thought that Luke is with her makes me nauseous. I suck air, in an attempt to maintain my pose, even fragile.

“I came to talk to Luke. We have business to attend to. Where is he?” I move towards the bedroom, but she stops me.

“First, you have nothing else to deal with. It’s over. You ended it all yourself. Which, honestly, came as a shock to me. Nothing personal, but I always thought Luke would kick you.”

My breath catches, giving signs that I'm about to cry, and I can't bear the thought of doing it in front of her. My chest starts to rise and fall fast, demonstrating that her words are having an effect on me.

“Second, Luke is in the shower, as you can hear.” for the first time, my ears pick up the sound of the shower running. “It's been a long afternoon.” Pam flashes a disgusting smile. She lets out a short laugh.

I hug my body, wanting to get out of there or scream for someone to help me. But my voice doesn't seem to work. My brain doesn't seem to work. On the way here I even prepared myself for the sad possibility of running into Luke with just any girl, but not Pamela.

“Look, I know you must think I hate you and all that bullshit, but I never had anything against you. Even because deep down I knew that Luke's crush on you wouldn't last. I've known him for years and I know what he's like. He lives in moments and yours is gone.”

Pamela rests her hand on my shoulder, looking deep into my eyes. A chill runs through my body and all I feel is embarrassament. Embarrassed to be here. That Luke would want to see and hear me. To think that maybe he was waiting for me. That maybe everything would work out.

"If I can give you a hint as a friend, as a woman, if you like. Leave before Luke sees you here at his door and you have to be embarrassed more than you already are. Seriously. After everything that happened you come here?!” Pamela makes a face. “I mean, I was kinda hoping, but deep down, I thought you'd be better than that and not lend yourself to this ridiculous role. I say this for your own good.”

Nothing.

I can't say anything. I can't react. I can't even explode internally. I just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and disappear.

“Well, since we've taken care of everything, if you'll excuse me, I need to get ready for the show. Bye-bye.”

Pam doesn't even give me time to listen to what she says, and closes the door in my face, locking it. I stare at the wood for a few more seconds, before the pain engulfs me alive. My heart beats so slow and so deep that for a moment I think I'm going to pass out.

A sob echoes down the hallway announcing my crying. I force myself out of there, before any of them see me, before Luke sees me like this. Just imagining him looking at me with contempt for showing up there makes everything worse inside me.

I try helplessly to dry my tears, not wanting to cry anymore about it. I feel my body heavy with weariness. I can't take it anymore. I just want to get into bed and disappear into the sheets. My mind feels sluggish, also exhausted from struggling to think of solutions for how to get back to what I had before. Exhausted from deluding myself and getting disappointed by reality.

I walk down the hall, swallowing my tears with all the strength I have left, forcing myself to hold my ground, but I lose focus when I hear that whistle and just see him enter the hallway. I stop in my tracks, wondering if I'm fantasizing. I heard the shower.

I take a step back, not knowing what to do, watching the tall Australian walk towards me, focused on his phone, not noticing my presence. For seconds I'm rooting for it, but I know it's impossible. And I think deep down, I don't want to either. I want him to look at me, to feel his heart race, the same way I'm feeling mine right now.

Luke stops whistling when he sees me. He looks so different from the boy I met at Ash's party, or the man I saw when I woke up in that hospital. He looked a little thinner and his eyes were deep because of the dark circles under. How long has he not slept? I let myself drown in his blue eyes, which look more intense now. I delete everything, focusing only on him. Amnesia. John. Pamela, everything seems to disappear from my mind.

I lean against the wall, feeling the hallway spin. He's here. After a month away from him, he's here, so close I can smell his scent. I take a deep breath, taking an uncertain step toward him. It's time to settle this.

Before I can control myself, I walk faster towards him, bumping into his body, hugging him. It takes Luke a few seconds to process what was happening, but as soon as he realizes it's really me there, his arms go around me, squeezing me tightly.

I inhale his perfume, letting that fragrance run through my bloodstream, causing a tingle through my body and waking up the long-sleeping butterflies in my stomach.

“My God, you're here.” Luke whispers, pulling away a little, cupping my face. “Please say I'm not hallucinating.” he caresses my cheeks.

“You’re not! I'm here.” I crack a smile through my tears, hugging him again.

“Damn! I missed you so much.” his voice makes my body shiver.

His nervous and anxious hands run all over my body, squeezing me, making sure more and more I'm here. I don't judge him, as I do the same, touching his shoulders, arms and neck. Like a defibrillator shock, my body pulses when I feel his lips on my neck. Before I get distracted, I step away from him, keeping a safe distance, not letting emotion outweigh reason.

"We need to talk." we ended up talking together.

“Sorry, you first. What are you doing here?” Luke asks, smoothing his hair.

“I came to talk to you about what happened. I came to tell you the truth.” Luke takes a step towards me, touching my waist. Once again the touch releases a shock through my body, causing me to crave more.

“Okay. Come on! Let's talk.” he guides me towards the bedroom. I stop my steps when I notice. Luke looks at me confused and it all comes back to me. Pamela.

"What's Pamela doing in your room?" the question comes out before I think.

“What?” he ends up screaming, which echoes down the hall. “Oh shit! Okay, she's in my room, but that's not what you're thinking, Marnie. She soiled her shirt and I went down to buy a new one.” he explains quickly, stumbling over a few words.

I think about refuting his words, but the bedroom door opens, revealing a confused Calum looking sideways, eyes widening as soon as he sees me. I can't control my smile seeing your face after weeks.

"Marnie?" he asks, taking a step out of the room.

"Marnie?" I hear Ashton's louder voice, which in a few seconds, bursts through the door, nearly running over Calum, coming quickly towards me.

I let out a scream as his arms wrap around me, lifting me off the ground and rolling me in midair. Within seconds, still hugging Ashton, I feel more people joining the two of us.

“What do you do here?” Ash asks, confused.

“I came to talk to Luke.” I refocus on the blonde, who looked anxious and a little jealous “Actually, with all of you somehow. I came to tell you what happened and it's still happening.”

The four look at each other suspiciously, but agree. I approach Luke, still nervous, not knowing if I could pull him by the hand, even if I wanted to.

“I need to leave this in the bedroom. I will meet you in Michael's room.” Hemmings warns, taking on a serious expression, turning away from me.

I watch him enter the room and close the door. I remember Pamela in there and my stomach turns. Ash takes my hand, pulling me into Mike's room. With every step I take, I don't take my eyes off door 1504, wishing it would open fast, but it remains closed. Why is he taking so long?

I walk into Michael's room, finding Sophie standing there, twisting her fingers with a huge smile on her face. I walk towards her, greeting her with a hug.

“Good to see you again.” she reveals, taking me by surprise, after all we don't spend a lot of time together.

“Are you okay? Want something? Do you need something?” Michael starts to ask.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Where's your arm cast?" Calum points.

“If it's not there…” Ashton looks at his friend teasingly.

“I took it out! My arm has already healed.” I answer Calum, ignoring sassy Irwin.

"What about amnesia? How are you?” Ash asks.

At that moment, I hold my breath. I focused so much on talking about John that I completely forgot about the end of amnesia. I open my mouth, working out a way to tell this without affecting the initial plan, unmasking John.

Lucky for me, someone knocks on the door and Michael rushes it open, revealing Luke. I notice her slightly flushed cheeks and her dark eyes. He's not okay. Awkwardly, I get up from the couch, facing him, as if it's the first time we've been seeing each other. I wait for him to take the seat beside me, but he takes a seat in the front, far away.

“ I'm going to take a walk at the hotel, it seems like a serious conversation.” Sophie gets up, but I stop her.

“No! Stay! It will be good for you to be aware of that too.”

Finally Sophie takes her seat beside me, putting me between her and Ashton. I scan everyone there who looks more terrified than I am. The time has come. I take a deep breath, feeling my mouth reach out. I thought I would be more prepared.

“I didn't do everything I did just because I wanted to. I never wanted to leave LA, nor ignore your attempts at contact, let alone break up whatever I was having.” I look at Luke, who looks away awkwardly.

"So what happened?" Calum asks. I take a few more deep breaths, taking in my courage.

"John manipulated me. It made me believe I was getting in your way. That my image was getting in your way.” the words come out at once.

I catch my eye on them, finding Michael, Cal, and Ash looking at each other in shock and Luke staring at me aloof.

“Wait, when did this happen?” Michael questions.

“On Friends of Friends day. I bumped into him leaving the studio. He asked if we could talk. At that moment he just wanted me to convince Luke and you guys to take that trip to promote the singles, remember?! And I was going to do it. But then the music came and he freaked out. He said that either I walked away or he damaged the band and I didn't want to take any risks.”

Dead silence fills the room. I start to take a deep breath, nervous about the reactions. Ash rubbed his forehead, upset. Calum was slumped in his chair, staring into space. Michael blinked rapidly, sighing. Poor Sophie didn't even move and Luke, staring at me with a frown.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Luke's voice finally reaches my ears. I stare at him, intimidated. He still looks confused.

"I didn't know if I should. I was scared, didn't I think t-”

“But we talked about it. Several times.” he interrupts me, standing up.

“Yes! Before amnesia. But then we never talked about John or what he tried to do to both of us. I was afraid of harming you, I didn't want to risk a threat. If it weren't for the amnesia, I wouldn't have listened to him.”

"And what made you change your mind now?" he folds his arms.

It's like a bucket of cold water. I prepared so much for this moment. For Luke not to want to listen to me. Listening to me and not wanting me back, but I didn't prepare myself for that.

I analyze your expression and body posture. He looks at me like he doesn't know me. As if I was saying something out of the reality that we live.

"You don't believe me, do you?" I suck in air, missing him.

I blink several times, processing the information and adapting to the new scenario. I rub my hands on my pants, feeling sweaty and cold.

“I'm not saying that, Marnie." he approaches. I stand up, wanting distance.

“You don't have to, it's in your face.” I accuse him.

“The point is, it's a sensitive topic. It's a pretty serious charge, he's our manager.” Luke raises his voice.

Nausea and irritation is all I feel. Luke doesn't believe me. I thought that would be impossible considering our background with John, but apparently I'm wrong.

“You know you could have told me.” Hemmings continues, getting irritated too.

“No, Luke! I couldn't. Because I didn't know. I had amnesia. I had no idea how to handle all of this. Fame, money, media. I didn't have any preparation. I got thrown into it. I had to learn from day to day, without an instruction manual. I sacrificed my happiness for you.”

“I never asked you to.” he points a finger at me.

Once again I lose my breath. I don't recognize it. In fact, I even recognize this posture. That's why we fought so much in the beginning. But it's not the same Luke. At least not mine.

"I didn't think it was necessary." my voice cracks.

“Marnie, the point is, it doesn't make sense. John spent this entire month taking care of me and asking me if I wanted him to talk to you, to try to get you to see me. And now, you arrive saying that he forced you to leave? You did have a chance to ask for help-”

“For you? For you do what, Luke? Argue with him like you always did and then you guys have to hear from the record company for ‘going against the manager's orders’? I'm sorry if I wanted to stop you from sticking your feet in and that it harms you more.” I end up screaming.

A sob escapes me and I realize I'm crying. That was the last thing I wanted.

"And how kind of him to act like he really cares about us. Even cuz he never interfered between us, right? He never insinuated that I cheated on you with Ashton and a million other people. Or that you were always drunk during the tours, causing trouble with the team. No! John has always been a saint.”

“M&Ms…” Luke tries to hold me back, but the touch annoys me.

“No!” I walk away. "I'm tired of this. I came to warn you about John and that's what I did. The decision is now yours.” I ignore everyone looking at us.

I grab my bag and march to the door. Luke still calls out to me, but I completely ignore it, feeling my body heavy as if I've competed in a triathlon.

I open the door, stopping abruptly. I stare at Ashton who's already on his feet.

“About my amnesia.” I turn my gaze to Luke, who has his jaw set. "It’s over." the last thing I see is his pupils dilate. I walk down the hall, hearing Ash call me, but I don't stop.

I choose the stairs, not wanting anyone to reach me waiting for the elevator. I manage to go down two flights, but unfortunately Ashton catches me.

“Hey! Listen me.” he yells as I try to break free. “I believe you. Okay?”

So I stop. My head stills for two minutes, reminding me of the fact that Luke didn't believe me. I cover my face, crying, letting Ashton pull me into his body, hugging me.

“Ignore everything Luke said. I don't think anyone expected that. He just doesn't know how to handle it. He believes in you, just let him take it all in.” Ash pats my back, rocking me like a baby.

“It was so hard to hold all that and walk away. And now that I remembered everything and saw that I could count on you.” My throat closes up, intensifying my crying.

“It's okay! It's gonna be okay. I promise you.” he squeezes me tighter.

I start to let go when I hear hurried footsteps on the stairs. Ash steps in front of me, but relaxes when Sophie enters our field of vision. I turn onto my back, trying to dry my face, embarrassed.

“Sorry, we were worried about her. Michael took the elevator down. Calum and Luke are upstairs. Luke wants to talk to you, Marnie.”

A fake laugh comes out as I shake my head no. If I see Luke now, it will make everything worse.

"I don't want to see him. I want to leave.” I go back down the flights to the next floor, calling the elevator.

I notice Sophie and Ash beside me. We walked down the path in pure silence, while I still shed tears of sadness and anger. As soon as the door opens, I head toward where Eddie had been standing, finding him standing, talking to Michael.

I ignore Clifford's presence, hugging my friend and begging him to get me out of there. Edward hugs me a little scared and starts pulling me out of the hotel.

“Can I go with you?” I hear Sophie's voice reluctantly. Everyone stares at her, who blushes. "I don't want you to be alone."

I look over at Michael, who just shakes his head, giving the girl a quick peck before she rushes to my side.

“Wait!” Irwin asks. “Where are you? I want to see you after the show. Know better about what happened.”

"I'll text you."

I say goodbye to them one more time and hug Eddie, I head to the black sedan that was on the other side of the street. I can feel my friend's eagerness to know what happened, but Edward controls himself, leaving me quiet in my corner, mulling over every word I hear.

Luke didn't believe me.

Luke pov.

I still hadn't processed everything that was going on. It was supposed to be a normal day, I didn't imagine I would meet Marnie in the hallway of my room. Yes, I thought about trying to go after her, thought about calling, but I couldn't stand the idea of ​​her despising me.

Then, like a miracle, I see her there, like the first time I saw her. Her hair was long and dark, like she was twenty-one again. I was afraid it was a piece of my mind, wasn’t really there, but it was.

The moment I felt her in my arms, it was like coming back to life. My body relaxed for the first time since she was gone. I felt the blood rush through my veins and pump my heart like never before. She's here.

My hands touched her entire body, wanting to confirm her presence, wanting to feel her touch. My lips tingled, begging for hers. I don't even know why she showed up, but I just knew I never wanted her to go again.

But she is gone.

It slipped through my fingers and I couldn't even hold it back. Why did I have to argue? Why did I have to debate? What a damn habit of arguing with her. Just listen. She was there, in front of me, so close. Then I could be alone with her. I could fix everything, but no. No, I had to be an asshole.

The bedroom door opens, showing Michael and Ashton. I get up, looking for Marnie's small body behind them, but they're alone.

“She left.” Ashton replies, even before I open my mouth.

"Did you let her go?" a rage born within me.

“No! I didn't do anything, Luke. You let her go. Was it hard to listen in silence? She comes here risking everything if John catches her, and you dispute what she says?” Irwin wears an expression as irritated as mine.

“What the fuck! I didn't object! But it is a serious charge. It's going to be her word against his and who do you think will win this shit?” I shout. "John can finish her off and you think I want that?! I just wanted to be completely sure what she was talking about. Evidence, I don't know. Things that could protect her. Things that ensure that I can protect her.”

“She doesn't want to gain anything, Luke. She wants you. She wants you to be by her side, no matter what. She wants you to believe her. Yeah, all this shit took me by surprise too. John has been with us for four or five years and has always taken care of us, but we can't pretend we don't know he's gone overboard a few times.”

“Few times?” Mike whistles, shaking his head. “Several times, and we talked about it a lot. Girls, birthday parties, special holidays. If don't agree with what he agrees with, he sticks his finger in the middle.”

I know John is not the best person in the world. He has every possible flaw. But I don't want to believe he got to that point. Threatening Marnie, forcing her to walk away from me.

I knew it was a lie. When she said she couldn't fall in love with me. I could see in her eyes that she was lying. So why couldn't I see that she needed help?

I should have gone after her. I should have come to New York before. Put her against the wall no matter how many times she yelled at me. But I let her go. I let it slip through my fingers.

“No. No. You're not going after her now.” Ashton, stop me.

"I thought I was supposed to be by her side." I retort, annoyed.

“And it is you idiot, but like that, in this state, you're just going to argue more. Remember what she said, ‘putting everything down’? We cannot do this now. Cool your head, organize your ideas and then you go after it. I arranged to see her after the show, to find out more details.”

"Why you and not me?" I cross my arms.

“Because I didn't argue with the girl. Pay attention.” he raises his tone, slapping my head. "I'll check her and then I'll try to convince her to talk to you. Now let's get ready for the show and stay calm. Let's go.”

Reluctantly, I head to my room, heading straight for a shower. I press my forehead against the wall, letting thoughts race through my mind. I go over the whole situation. I am very unlucky.

First, when I'm about to get rid of Pam, she ‘accidentally’ stains her shirt. Afterwards, I only leave the room for 20 minutes, but that's long enough for Marnie to show up and pick up Pamela. Then I manage to make her stay and tell me the truth and finally I shit everything up.

My heart sinks as my head shows me her teary eyes, looking at me like I'm a stranger.

I remember when she looked at me like that in the hospital and it was the worst pain in the world. I shouldn't have suspected her. I shouldn't. I finish my shower, heading to bed, lying down, not wanting to go to the show. I just wanted to stay here and pray that Ash would convince her to talk to me again. But I didn't have much choice.

Unfortunately, we still had an hour to go and I know that until then I'm going to get bogged down in my thoughts.

[...]

I go out the side of the stage, with my head still in the clouds. From the hotel to the studio, until taking the stage, I was silent, mulling over my mistake. I texted Marnie, but they didn't even come.

“What a show, guys. You rock it.” John congratulates us in the dressing room.

I notice everyone looking at each other, uncomfortable. I stare at John, wondering at the mood, but keeping that fake smile. I imagine him intimidating Marnie, leaving her terrified. Making her run away. I see her face in the back of my mind the day she broke up with me. Her apology before walking out the door.

I can feel my face hardening, as my heart races, making me take a deep breath. Without being able to analyze my thoughts and control my attitudes, I march to John, with that anger rising through my body.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Calum rising quickly and moving closer. John wipes the smirk off his face, taking on a worried face now.

"Did you tell Marnie to get away from me?" I question.

Letterman runs his eyes past me and the guys behind me. I feel Michael's hand on my shoulder, squeezing. I want to scream at him to answer, but John lets out a low laugh.

“That bitch even took a while to open her mouth.”

I hold my breath. Feeling that punch in the pit of your stomach. Now it was Calum and Ash's hand joining Michael's, trying to pull me away from John.

“What did you say?” I blow, with my chest swelling more.

“I told her to stay away from you, because if it weren't for me, you'd be in deep shit. Staying in Los Angeles taking care of that retarted while your career sinks, that's the-”

The movement is very fast. I manage to untangle my arm from Michael's grip and land a punch to the bastard's nose, sending him staggering backward. I step forward to hit more, however the three of them step in front of me, pushing me to the wall.

I know I'm yelling disconnected stuff, just to debate John, but I want to get him one more punch. For the band, for me and for my girl.

“Let me go!” I yell to the three of them just as Hale the security pulls Letterman out of the room.

"What the fuck was that?" Ash asks, his eyes wide.

"I couldn't look at his face knowing everything he did. I needed to confront. And did you hear him talking about her?” I pace, panting from adrenaline. “That son of a bitch. I will finish him.”

I advance towards the door. But the three of them hold me back.

“You're not going to do any shit. That's exactly what Marnie didn't want you to do.” Calum, push me to the couch.

“We have to deal with this.” Irwin begins. "We have to get John out of his post, otherwise he'll hurt us and Marnie."

Marnie.

I close my eyes, touching myself now from the shit I've done. Again. John knows Marnie told me and maybe he'll go after her to do something. I can't let him get close to her again.

"Where are you going?" Mike asks, watching me grab my wallet.

"I'm going after my girlfriend." I head for the door, willing to get anyone out of my way.

"Ashton didn't say to wait until tomorrow?" Hood asks.

“Screw this.”

It's the last thing I say before striding down the halls. I dodge a few photographers, giving a fake smile so as not to feed the headlines, and get in the car, trying to get in touch with her.

The problem is, she doesn't answer me. Who can help me? Who can help me? I scroll through the list of contacts, looking for the only name that could help me right now.

“Leah? I need Marnie's address, please.” I say as soon as she answers.

“I'm going to stick a stiletto heel up your ass, Hemmings. What kind of shit do you have in your head?” she screams. I roll my eyes.

“I know I screwed up and I'm trying to fix it. Can you give me the address or not?” I scream, irritated.

“Okay, but I didn't tell you.”

I give the address to the driver, feeling the anxiety rise within me with every street and traffic light the car crosses. I stop in front of a tall building, running to the interphone. I find her last name and dig my finger into the button.

Come on, Marnie! Answer me! Answer me! Answer me!

“Yes?” I recognize the male voice, the same as that day.

"Where's Marnie? I need to talk to her? Marnie, please, please listen to me.” The words slur as I speak into the microphone.

“Marnie isn't here, Luke.” the voice calmly warns me.

“What?”

I need to lean against the wall, feeling my blood pressure drop. Where is she? I look around, as if that's how I'm going to find her. Not again.

“Go up. I'll explain it to you better.”

The door unlocks and I rush inside. In the elevator, I force my mind to unravel where she could have gone. She came to New York a few times, but she never had a favorite place.

In the hallway, I spot this Edward, or Eddie, as Ashton called it, standing outside the apartment. I walk towards him, lost.

“Hi, I'm Edward. I was responsible for Marnie this month.” he holds out his hand, which I shake politely.

“Luke.” I introduce myself.

Edward invites me into the apartment. A shiver runs when her scent hugs me. I take a quick look at the decor, not finding my girlfriend's taste there. But that's not what I came to do.

"Where is she?" I turn to the boy.

“She left.” he sets a glass of water in front of me. “I know what happened. And I know why you're here. I also know you're going after her, but I just want to say something. Marnie is really hurt. For everything. She left, looking for help. She said something about a Dr. Prescott.”

“It's her psychologist.” I stop him, even with the lump in my throat.

“I know she loves you and I know you do too. So the only thing I ask, Luke, is that you take care of her like never before. She is a very special friend and I would hate to see her get any worse.”

The fact that she's running to Dr. Prescott again makes my stomach churn in fear. She helped Marnie through the worst time in her life and it breaks me to think she's living another one.

“Where did she go?” I sniffle, trying to control myself, to think clearly.

“She went home.” he raises his eyebrows. "Just got on a jet to Los Angeles."

I nod, not being able to speak. I thank Eddie, walking away, not wanting a stranger to see me cry. I think of the weight Marnie has borne all this time alone and fear that I have lost her forever.

Marnie pov.

I get out of the shower, sitting up in bed, thinking. After I left the hotel and got home, I told Eddie everything, and he stared at me in amazement. Even he, who had never met Luke, didn't expect that he would believe me.

After telling it all, I sank down on the couch in silence, trying to organize my thoughts and not drown in the darkness that surrounded me. Sophie stood next to me, not leaving me alone for a second, while Eddie went out to make some calls. I know that he was warning Leah, for the simple fact that she had been calling me non-stop.

The clock was ticking close to 7 pm when I started to insist to Sophie that I was fine and that she could meet Michael at the show. That's when the doorbell rang. From the couch I watched Eddie go to the door and come back lost.

“What's wrong?” I question.

“It's John!” he says with his jaw clenched.

“What?” I jump off the couch, walking to the door on tiptoe.

John was standing on the other side, looking not good at all. I take steps backwards, feeling the air shortage in me. Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. Luke had messed up. I knew it. I knew it.

“Sophie, come up. Please.” I order, trying to organize my head.

“No! I'm not leaving you with this guy.” she approaches.

“If he sees you here, you'll become his next target. If you're not already. Climb up and be quiet. Please.” I beg this time. I turn to Eddie.

“You can kneel, whatever, I'm not leaving you with this guy.” Eddie says, not even giving me a chance to speak.

“I wasn't going to ask that. Please don't leave my side.”

Fear. Total dread of what might happen when I answer the door. I don't know what he knows or doesn't know, or what he might do, but I don't want to find out. With Eddie standing a little behind me, I open the door facing John.

“What a pleasure to see you home, Miss McGonagall. I think we missed each other at the hotel. Since you arrived just as I left. What a coincidence, don't you think?” he lets out a harsh laugh.

“I don't know what-”

“Spare me your lame excuse. A little bird told me that you were there and that you talked to the boys.”

My body freezes at this moment. I didn't see anyone but the boys. Just some security guards. Fuck.

“Do you really think I wasn't preparing for you to show up?! I knew you wouldn't obey our agreement.”

“What are you going to do now? They already know about you.”

“But they didn't believe you.” I close my face. “That's the difference between you and me, Marnie, I know how to manipulate them. You don't. But I admire you for trying. I didn't think you'd have the courage to show up anyway. For you to see how I'm not the monster you think I am, I'll reconsider this slip. But if it happens again, I'll finish you off.”

I don't blink, staring at John with my eyes. I press my hand against the wood, wanting to actually punch him, but I wouldn't stand a chance. Letterman runs his eyes over Eddie, waving his fingers before he goes.

I slam the door angrily. I walk over to the couch feeling my legs weak. My head is heavy and my heart aches. Sophie comes slowly down the stairs.

“Sophie, you'd better go. If he gets there and doesn't see you, he might get suspicious.” I make it up, wanting to be alone.

“ I'll call a car for you.” my friend offers.

I don't wait another second, going up to my room and locking myself in. As soon as I hear the door slam, signaling that someone has left, I get up for a shower. With the deluded hope that the water would help me, that it would wash away my problems, but no.

Still sitting on the bed, I notice that the bath has not helped me at all. The help I need isn't here, and if I don't go after it now, I'll sink deeper and I'm afraid that later it will be too late.

I change and leave the room with my decision. I find Eddie sitting in the middle of the stairs, perhaps waiting for me. I sit down beside him, holding his arm and laying my head on his shoulder.

“I need to go away. I need my house. My family. My girls.” I begin, already feeling my voice cracking. “I can't take this anymore and I'm afraid of what might happen to me. I am so exhausted from falling, I don't think I have the strength to try anymore. I'm not well. I need help.”

The crying becomes overwhelming. Edward says nothing, just hugging me. I don't know how long we lay there, but he was in no hurry until my crying ceased, or in this case, subsided.

“When do you want to leave?” he asks.

“As soon as possible.” I answer softly.

“Pack your bags, I'll see what I can do.” he gets up and pulls out his phone.

“Eddie.” I hold him, pulling him into a hug. “I can't thank you enough for everything and for not giving up on me.” I squeeze him.

“Be well and take care. That's how you'll thank me.” he leaves a kiss on my cheek, before continuing to try a flight for me.

[...]

Everything was set up in less than 40 minutes. All it took was a few phone calls and the use of my name and I was on a jet to LA.

My mother and Leah had already been notified and were waiting for me at the airport. Because of the mess I had caused before leaving my apartment in LA, I would stay with Leah until my mother finished her makeover and then try to get back to my life.

I watch the city disappear into the clouds and lean back in my chair, trying to rid my mind of the millions of thoughts that surround me. I don't want to give up on Luke. I don't want to believe that those two years were just crazy thoughts in my head. But right now I know I need to take care of myself before I commit to anyone again.

I also need to let him think about everything I have confessed, because this affects not only our private lives, but also his professional one. After two hours of flight, I end up sleeping, only waking up when it's time to land in LA.

My heart seems to want to burst out of my mouth from so much anxiety. I grab my bag, quickly getting off the plane. I visualize my mother and Leah standing arm in arm, waiting for me. I run to them, feeling relieved to return to my safe haven, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I was supposed to post it earlier, but I got a new cell phone after 6 years and got too excited and forgot to update it.

Please, don't be mad at me, I promise that soon everything will be fine between Luke and Marnie.

#5sauce #5 seconds of summer #5sos #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin #5sos blurbs #5sos fanfic #luke 5sos #michael gordon clifford #calum 5sos #5sos fluff #ashton 5sos #ashton fletcher irwin #calum 5sauce #calum hood fanfic #cashton #michael 5sos #memorieslrh #lukey #lrh #luke robert hemmings #luke hemmo #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings fic #luke hemming imagines #5sos5 #5sosedit #luke hemmings fluff

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 5

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Revenge is sweet but a well-timed dick joke is sweeter. xoxo gossip girl. Please supervise one Bucky Barnes on the internet. Questionable music taste. Detention is the price we pay for justice. Bruce Banner is too precious for this world, too pure.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​ @downeyreads​ @hermione-grangers-wife​ @individualistfem​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! 🎶🎵I love you biiitch ain't ever gonna stop loving you biiitch 🎵🎶

"Initiate phase one," I added a growly undertone to my whisper, holding my phone inconspicuously, as if I was making a simple phone call. There was no answer but I didn't expect one: I was testing the voice recorder app that I had downloaded for the sole purpose of documenting and relaying the inevitable fall of one Flash Thompson. 

Making my way through the crowd of students during the busiest time of the day, I made the most intrigued and outraged facial expression I possibly could. Spying my targets, I leaned against a nearby wall, putting a hand over my mouth in fake outrage, keeping my eyes wide and trained on the opposite wall. Just as I had predicted, the two sophomore girls started giving me side-eye by minute two of my staring and finally approached me as I contemplated the wall for whole five minutes.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" The brunette asked, her blonde friend hanging a step back.

"Yeah, totally," I mumbled. "I'm, like, shook beyond imagination, but nothing, like, bad."

The girls traded a curious look, seemingly coming to some sort of conclusion. The greedy gleam in their eyes had me internally cheering. "What happened?" The blonde one asked, coming closer.

"I'm not sure if I should tell that to anyone," I stammered, watching them bodily move forward. "Well, okay, I can't keep quiet. But you must never, ever speak of it or I'll get expelled or something," I said nervously. They both nodded so rapidly it reminded me of Funko Pop figurines. "You know the senior guy, Flash? Brown hair, kinda hot?" Again, they both nodded, conspicuously grinning. "I think I just saw him in the closed girls bathroom on the third floor with, like, some brunette from Ms. Johnson's History class," They both gasped. Predictable. "But that's not the worst! They were like, y'know," I made an obscene gesture with my hand and they instantly covered their own mouths with their palms in shock. "And the chick was like 'is it in yet?' and he was like 'yah' and I just closed the door and ran, oh my god I hope they didn't hear me," I squealed at the end, playing the part of a mortified teenager.

All three of us giggled uncomfortably for a moment. The blonde girl stared at me suspiciously. "And what were you doing there?"

I faked a nervous stammer, looking around briefly and showing them my lighter for a moment. They both gasped and nodded in recognition. "Don't tell anybody or my mom is going to have kittens," I pleaded. Both of them nodded solemnly, noticing their own group of friends approach. I used the brief moment to get lost in the river of pupils and by the time they turned around to introduce me, I was already at the opposite part of the hallway.

For the time being, everything seemed peaceful. There were a few giggles and side-eyes directed towards Flash Thompson but nothing out of the ordinary. He was disliked by most of the student population even if nobody dared to admit it outright. I took care to walk around without my earbuds for the day and pulled out my phone to record the most interesting conversations around me whenever I caught the tell tale signs of a gossip mill beginning to run its course around the school.

"Oh my god, I heard about this girl that was caught fucking Flash in the girls bathroom and she literally said 'is it in yet', can you imagine the shock, jeez!"

"Some chick literally just rejected Flash because his dick was too small."

"Rebecca from AP chemistry told me someone saw Flash's micropenis. Poor guy!"

"I wonder if his girlfriend dumped him because he can't do shit, I mean, he doesn't look like the type to eat the kitty."

Those were just the highlights of the Friday afternoon. Come the weekend and the news of Flash's unfortunate condition will make the rounds through every single group chat that the school has and by the time Monday rolls around, nobody will have a clue who started the rumour in the first place. I had to carefully select the girls who were to distribute the rumour and I was happy with the outcome: Marissa and Layla with their squad of chatty, bored rich girls were the perfect choice. I thought they would jump at any opportunity to cause drama and I was right.

It was sufficient to say I was bristling with pride as I cut and compiled the audio track from today's school day before sending it to the group chat.

Clint, Peter and Natasha appeared online as soon as the message delivered and I was delighted at their response. Romanoff's kind words, specifically, made me all warm and mushy inside. I didn't resist the feeling, basked in it even as I did a happy dance around my room. Peter's nonsensical string of emojis was another point of laughter for me. 

It wasn't exactly the smartest way to go about killing Thompson's reputation... Alas, simplicity is the way to success when it comes to large crowds of teenagers. That tiny little vindictive part of me was very much looking forward to the weekend and the results of the inevitable distortion of the rumour I had started. Who knew, maybe by Monday Flash Thompson would not only have a micropenis but horns and hooves as well.

Near bedtime, I had all the avengers send me their regards and thumbs up. I answered the flurry of texts as quickly as I could but there was no point in keeping up with ten or so people constantly streaming their questions, opinions and comments. 

I settled on a single easiest response: pulling my dad's old uni sweatshirt over my tiny lacy pajamas to preserve some modesty, I settled in front of my mirror, turning on my Bluetooth speaker to play "Boss Ass Bitch". In true gen-z fashion, I put on my best resting witch face and solemnly lip-synced to the song's eponymous chorus. My eyeliner was sharp enough to cut paper and my prismatic highlighter glittered enigmatically in the cold light of my blue lava lamp.

The response was, once again, delightful and I genuinely belly-laughed at the adults' attempts to meme after Peter. His blushy face emoji started a whole nother conversation that I didn't participate in but watched from the sidelines with glee, snorting every time his friends and mentors gently teased him about the very obvious crush he harboured on me. 

Seeing Peter starting to go absolutely nuts, I interjected with an offer (more like a dare) of a lip sync battle. He jumped on the bandwagon, immediately going offline to undoubtedly film an epic video of what I thought would be dorky-dancing to some hipster song. I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a pre-recorded tik tok video of him and Ned fighting with lightsabers while mouthing the words to Fergalicious that played over the Imperial March.

Weirdos. I still followed him on the app, though, it was pretty funny.

Bucky interjected with a very well executed rendition of "Bring Me to Life": he was wearing his full Winter Soldier get-up, complete with an AK-47, dramatically serenading Steve who looked seventeen shades of done with his partner's antics. Wanda's following twenty second voice message consisted of nothing but pure hysterical laughter, summing up everyone's reaction to the video. Bucky was going to go viral one of these days...

Obviously, I had good competition and nobody else seemed to want to participate so I rearranged my surroundings a little bit and stood up at my full height and swapped the old sweatshirt for a cute crop-top hoodie. My thigh-highs were on display and with my make-up, I looked like a proper internet e-girl. I leaned against the mirror as I mouthed along to the song with my best interpretation of the famous Lucifer smirk, seasoned with a tiny bit of angelic innocence: "Doctor, doctor, give me the news, I got a bad case of loving you..."

Needless to say, I won the competition. Eventually Wanda joined in, looking menacing and ominous with her dark clothes and Natasha's red hair flashing somewhere in the background; even Tony did a round (AC/DC as his soundtrack of course) with one of his Iron Man suits but nothing beat my stunt and the reaction that it caused.

I had accidentally called out Bruce with the choice of my song and his teammates gave both of us a lot of cheeky comments about it. We relented and flirted with each other a bit as the conversation flowed into more mundane discussion; I said my good nights somewhere between Tony's bitching about the hobbies of my generation and my nightly skincare routine. The little green heart that I'd become accustomed to over the past few weeks greeted me just as I was about to lock my phone.

Bruce was really too precious for this world. My crush on him was different than the one on Tony, it mellowed out in comparison. I wanted him to hold me, to stroke my hair, to call me his darling and wrap me up in one of those dorky button-ups that he insisted on wearing in spite of Tony's unwanted, however very valid, fashion advice.

For all that's worth, the scientist probably knew or at least suspected and had the good grace to play along just enough to satisfy my deep need for attention... Without crossing any actual lines. It was frustrating, it was disappointing but I had virtually nothing to complain about. Besides, I didn't want to lose the quirky friendship that we had. Banner was, probably, the least judgemental person I knew and I wasn't about to trade that for an awkwardly stolen kiss.

Monday and Tuesday passed in a flurry of giggling and snorting every time Flash walked by. His girlfriend broke up with him, very publicly, accusing him of cheating and he didn't even deny it - just insulted her and stormed off, leaving even his friends looking lost and clueless. I started dragging Peter and his two pet nerds along with me just about everywhere I went in case Thompson decided to do something stupid again. If judging only by the looks he was throwing our little company, he was on his way to figuring out who began nibbling at his reputation.

The week was coming to an end and the rumour began dying off, slowly. That just didn't sit with me, I wanted the fucker gone. Due to the obvious time constraints, I approached MJ regarding Peter - after a brief argument, we came to an agreement regarding Peter's safety should I need to leave him alone in the hallways or at lunch. 

I needed to do this alone so if I got caught, I won't drag them down with me. Granted, I would probably get something like a suspension and the school will attempt to call my mother (she never picks up) but that's about it. That's where her reputation comes in handy-people consciously avoid dealing with her, she can be that unbearable.

But first, I needed to get a teacher that's on my side. After carefully considering the candidates, I settled on my Social Studies professor - he taught the college-level classes and was overall a very chill, nice dude. And he disliked bullies with a flaming passion. So it didn't take me long to work him into a righteous fury - just a quick chat over a cup of tea in his homeroom and a few pictures of Peter's bruised face, complete with my own pleading puppy eyes. We agreed Mr Davies would "accidentally" leave the teacher's lounge unlocked during third period and I would sneak in. The plan wasn't foolproof but if it worked, not only Flash, but also his whole misogynistic, bigoted family would go down.

As I was leaving, Mr Davies looked up at me with a bright smile: "Give them Hell, alright?" And I suddenly noticed he was, in fact, very attractive. The smile brought out the fine wrinkles around his mouth, the crow's feet around his eyes - he smiled a lot. Silver strands mixed in with the wooden brown of his hair.

I let my eyes slide over him briefly before baring my teeth in return. "I owe you one," I don't know what possessed me to say that. My mouth really had a mind of its own sometimes. The room suddenly became hot.

"Sure," He replied, totally oblivious.

On Friday, I made myself a small nest in the empty classroom opposite the teacher's lounge and sat waiting for the signal from Mr Davies - he'd tap on the door once and I'd quietly go inside the teacher's lounge, retrieve Thompson's file and make my way back to the empty classroom to grab my backpack and carry the file to my locker for further examination. 

The first part went successfully and I managed to snag Thompson's file. It was heavy and hefty, all the evidence of his rowdiness compiled into one flimsy plastic folder. There were A LOT of pink slips and I rejoiced internally: at least there was a paper trail of his exploits. The principal didn't do anything about it which was... If not against the rules then at least frowned upon; the plan was to take copies and anonymously submit them to the school board prompting at least an investigation into the blatant disregard for Flash's immoral and illegal behaviour.

On my way back I stumbled upon the principal herself which got me not only a stern talking to, but a whole detention for skipping class. Whatever, I was too elated from potentially ruining the life of a dumb fuck who ruined my friend's face.

Surprise came in the face of Mr Davies, who, having heard the commotion in the hallway, stepped out of his class and saw me being lectured by the principal. 

"I'll take her for the detention," I heard the familiar voice behind me. The principal nodded solemnly and I had no choice but to sigh in resignation. "Three thirty, be here," He nodded to me, walking back, looking way too smug for his own good. So I wasn't the only one excited about the successful completion of stage two of my nefarious plan. Cue evil laughter.

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #stephen strange x reader #Stephen Strange x y/n #bun writes #party favours #author doesn't advocate for small dick jokes but tbh the abusive fucker deserves it

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(part four)

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part five. Masterlist

Summary:After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Your POV*

Your eyes scanned through the fully stocked room that came to be yours a couple of days ago. Fairly large and a great window where the sun came to welcome you each morning. Not even the blinds could stop it. Now it was fairly dark inside since the sun was about to go down. You reached for the light switch and scanned through all your products and belongings for things that you could possibly move somewhere else.

The grunt of the Russian skater behind you caused you to turn around. As you did, he stopped and returned your stare, as if waiting for you to announce something. There was a lot that you needed to clean up. If you had known that you'd be expecting a roommate, you'd already have done so. Guess Victor forgot to mention that too, eh?

The visible twitch in the corner of your left eye was impossible to force back. Just at the mere thought of unintentional (?) screwups of the one and only Victor Nikiforov. Now, just because he was your childhood friend, it didn't mean that he wouldn't receive a massive ass-whooping if he as much as repeated the same mistake three times the same day now the few remaining hours of the day. If only you could get that message through.

And, you kind of did. Just not to the man you intended. Yuri at the receiving end of your stare was just about to open his mouth to say something, what you assume, sour when he noticed the twitching of your eye. Surprisingly, it shut him up before he started. He kind of shielded himself behind one of his bags and eyed you carefully.

Shit, wrong Russian dude.

"Sorry, that was meant for Victor." You let out a sigh and helped him with one of his bags out in the hall. You got a simple nod from the boy just before you passed him in the doorway.

He's been acting all quiet and confused ever since you tended to his wounds. Was something you said unclear? Maybe you should make sure the two of you were on the same page. 'Later...' you thought.

Yuuri and Victor hurried to the entrance of your room with a couple of more bags.

"So what do you think about it, Yuri? Pretty special eh?" It was Yuuri who spoke up, probably just as an act of friendliness. Though, you could understand how a punk like Yuri might take it as teasing.

"I'm not staying here. There's- there is no way I'm sharing a room with another person. I should have my own room. Why can't Victor and (Y/n) share a room and I get my own?!"

Ah, there he is. You were starting to get worried that he might actually turn nice. Then you'd have to call an ambulance just to ease Yakov's mind if he ever found out.

"With that thief? Nuh-uh. He already owes me an entire bottle of lotion, a mascara and a lipgloss. And for some reason, my throwaway razors are gone too. I'm not endangering any more of my stuff to him!" You shot a glare at Victor but he intentionally pretended not to hear nor see you. Seriously?

"Just lock them up or something, I don't care. Maybe I should just sleep on the couch. Give me one reason why it's worth sharing this room with you."

You didn't really know why you felt so opposed to the thought of him sleeping on the couch. You should be relived that you wouldn't have to share room with The Russian punk. But you still mumbled the one sentence after taking a brief moment to carefully word out your reason.

"What did you say?"

"... I have a cat."

The silence following almost made you feel like the scene of these weird soap operas that streamed on tv once in a while. But you did have a cat. A beautiful sacred Birman with the eyes of an ocean. And you knew about Yuri's fascination with them. Victor mentioned it somewhere along the lines when discussing his arrival days ago. And if you had to give him one reason, then that would be the one. It's probably the only reason too.

"Where." It wasn't a question. It almost made you giggle but you kept a straight face. Victor who knew the reason behind your words, almost cracked under the pressure.

"He's probable sleeping under the blanket on my bed, as always-"

Yuri pushed Victor aside with a stern 'move' and headed for your bed. A little anxious, you followed him through the entrance, afraid that he would be like one of those crazy catpeople who never stopped bothering their cat. You worried because you were one of those people. But because your cat was rather clingy too and you always had a bunch of stuff to do daytime, it kind of evened out the contrast. Two crazy people were too much, you figured.

"Well, we'll go off now and let you two bond now. Don't forget that we're having afternoon tea in an hour!" And with that, Victor and Yuuri was out of the picture. For awhile.

A round uneven pile under you blanket made Yuri stop at the end of the bed. You stood beside him as he lifted the blanket, revealing the fuzzy ball that was your cat. Round eyes stared up at the both at you and the cat stretched it's back, making a 'u' position.

"His name is Magnolia. You'll have to apologize to him for interrupting his sleepy time though." You half expected Yuri to scoff at your statement, thinking you were taking the animal too seriously. But the baby voice he used to communicate with Magnolia next almost had you taking a step back.

"Hi, Magnolia... 'm sorry, pretty boy. You'll have to forgive me, I'm afraid." He kept on talking to the sleepy cat as he extended a hand for him to smell. Magnolia yawned and gave the hand a sniff before sitting up, eyes intensely staring into the boy's soul. You could tell by the hesitation of Yuri's petting hand that he really wanted the cat's approval. He cat kept staring him straight in the eyes which usually means bad. Though, the purring heard from his belly said the opposite. You finally relaxed a little. Magnolia is very picky with who gets to touch him and you were expecting a bite, honestly.

"He's always been so stare-y... I've figured that he only stare at people he like or something he finds very interesting." You crouched down beside Yuri and rested with your arms at the bedside.

"Like owner, like cat, I guess then. I feel like he has the exact same piercing gaze you gave me earlier." Yuri grinned smugly at you and turned back his attention to the ball of fur who stood up, stroking its back to your chin. A little heat rose to your cheeks and you hoped Magnolia covered it up well enough with his body. It was kind of true. And you couldn't really deny it. You always did watch things a little to intense. But just because you found people very interesting, always seeking to improve your understanding and emotional range at any given time. So you shrugged your shoulders and coughed a little when the cat made sure to get his butt all up in your face too. This habit, you had noticed, was a trait almost every cat held within them.

"You're going to object or what?" Yuri caught your attention again and Magnolia moved away from your face just in time. So he was expecting some kind of denial.

"You're not wrong... You've just got the wrong idea of it."

"What do you mean?"

"You should probably start getting yourself settled here. We only have one hour."

"You didn't answer me." Yuri's remark left unanswered as well as you stood up and threw a bag at him. A light 'oof' slipped through him as the heavy thing hit him right in the stomach.

"Hey!"

You grinned and opened another bag, pouring the internal onto the floor. Tons of clothes splattered on the floor. Everything in-between black training clothes to underwear and a pajamas with cat prints. A keychain with a chibi cat and a stuffed animal of a tiger fell out on the floor lastly on top of the pile. Yuri quickly made his way to the clothes and gathered them in his arms, trying to hide them away. It was worth taking an extra look at the blush staining his cheeks. You wondered if you'd just met a fellow catmerch fan as instense as you. No, this was far crazier than you! Especially as you recognized the keychain being a print of his own cat that you'd seen on a social media Yuri Plisetsky fanpage once.

"Y-you can't touch my stuff! Nor see it!" His voice was a good blend of anger and a thick stain of embarrassment.

Maybe it wasn't ideal poring someone else's belongings onto the floor. But you knew that look that Yuri bearded only moments ago. The cat had taken him as his loyal servant and Yuri wasn't intending to move until he had satisfied Magnolia's every need. If you let that happen, it would take the entire hour you had to clean up the room. And you clearly didn't have that time.

"Just hurry up and help me then if I'm not allowed to touch it!"

"Fine! And move your stupid clothes and stuff over to your half of the room!"

(A/N: Shoutout to my cat who gave me the entire butt-in-face idea through experience. I really owe you one, you little jerk<3 Also, what have you thought of the story so far? I bet you Victor has planned a familiar exercise for tomorrow's day of training. Just a little helping hand to get Yuri back into shape, y'know;))

#inspiration #yuri on ice fanfiction #yuri on ice fandom #yurianime #yuri katsuki #yuri on ice #yuri plisetsky x reader #yurio plisetsky #yuri plisetsky #viktor nikirofov

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine." 

#bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bakusquad #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #mha fanfiction #mha fluff

[babieyangyang10]

violent ends (chapter 13)

(chapter 13)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairings: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: language, character death, injuries

previous | next

Renjun's POV

I jab the knife into Lee Jeno's chest. To be specific, I try to aim for the heart so it's quick and direct. Plus, it gets the job done. After that, he falls backwards, but my attention was elsewhere.

No longer being held up, Athena is unable to sit up on her own. I barely catch her before she face-plants into the ground.

"Hey, you good?" I stupidly ask.

She obviously wasn't. She didn't even have the strength to hold her own head up. Grabbing her by the jaw, I noticed one of her pupils were more dilated than the other. An concussion?

"Why did you do that?" Her eyebrows are furrowed while she slurs through her words.

"I don't know," My voice softens, "Do you think you can stand?"

Athena mumbles with her eyes shut, "Renjun, I'm so tired."

Knowing it's medically safe for her to do so, I assure her, "You're okay. Just go to sleep."

Then she's unconscious.

I begin to question what I should do next. Should I run away before the rest of her people come for her? Just leave her here for them and get away safely.

That's the best option.

However, when I take one last look down at her, I feel a pang in my chest. All common sense floats away and suddenly she has never looked so helpless and innocent.

Not that I can remember at least. Maybe I never noticed before, but she has always seemed perfectly able to take care of herself. Yet, here she is completely vulnerable and knocked out in my arms.

"What's the problem?" That's what Jeno would've said in his usual, mocking tone.

The problem is now that I have her close, I don't know if I can ever let her go.

Before I can question myself, I'm heading back to the Cornocopia with Lee Athena on my back.

Jisung's POV

By the time I was able to limp my way to camp, Jaemin and Mark came rushing towards me in concern.

Before I can quickly explain to them, I am beaten by the sound of a cannon. The world begins spinning in circles. My body feeling completely numb.

Jaemin frantically grabbed my shoulders, "Where's Athena?"

"Jaemin. She-" I can't even say it, "I'm so sorry."

His hands just fall to his sides. Stepping backwards, his eyes are focused on the floor. It's a long silence before his voice musters out a pained, "How?"

"The Careers found us. We took off running, but my leg-" I was speaking almost incoherent and in sobs, "and I told her to leave me, but she wouldn't. We hid behind different bushes. So, when Jeno came towards mine, she got him to chase her the other way."

There was silence.

"I killed her. It because of me and my stupid leg. I was the one who made her go out there." I say to no one.

"Jisung." Mark shakes his head at me.

"I did, Mark. I did! She ran away so Jeno wouldn't find and kill me." I yell.

"How do we even know the cannon was for her?" Mark suggests, taking me aback.

"I'm going to go look." Jaemin speaks up, looking to Mark, "You stay with Jisung."

Renjun's POV

“Hey, stupid. Wake up.” I shake the sleeping girl, needing to check to see if her condition has deteriorated or improved after a few hours of rest.

Once she wakes up, she reaches out to grab my wrist in caution. I wince as her nails dig into my skin. When the girl sees who I am, she starts to look around for a weapon. Not easing up the tight grip on my wrist one bit.

“Do you remember what happened?” I quiz. She pauses looking at me in confusion. It’s as this moment, when she begins to look around the rest of her surroundings. I take this time to look her over, noticing her pupils and skin color were back to normal.

Athena is visibly frightened, “I don’t–Why am I here?” Her grip is loosened, but still there.

“Well, you remember you were with that boy right by the river?” I test her memory.

“I remember you killed him. Jeno, I mean.” She breathes out, puzzled, “Why?”

I change the subject, “I guess your memories are okay.”

She winces and brings her hand up to her injury. Then, she notices her head had been cleaned and wrapped, “Did you do this?”

“I guess you’ll have to owe me one then.” I slap her hand away, reaching out to check the bleeding underneath the bandage on her head, "You're lucky I was even able to find this, considering you were the idiot who exploded all the supplies."

"How are you sure it was me?" She plays dumb, yet the corners of her mouth are twitching, trying to hide the smirk. She was proud of herself.

I reach into one of my pockets, pulling out a knife very familiar to her, "I found this in the debris. Nice one, genius."

"Weird. Never seen it before." The girl lies, nonchalantly.

"You've never been a good liar, you know,” I try to prove my point, “Tell me this, did you kill Haechan?”

She is unapologetically blunt, “Nah, I did that one.”

“By the way, you should probably open this." I handed her a crate.

Earlier while she was asleep, we both received sponsors. I guess the audience really liked the whole drama of what just happened. They really are suckers for anything that keeps them on their toes.

I watch as she opens the crate to see pills. I’m sure they’ll help with the horrible head pain she most likely has. She also opens a note, but I didn’t see what it said. I guessed it was probably from Taeyong. I watch as her face relaxes before she stuffs it away in her jacket pocket.

Just like I do every night, I step out of the Cornucopia to watch the announcements. Of course, today was a little different since I obviously knew who was going to show up. I didn't even have to be nervous since the one person who I internally hoped wouldn't show up was alive right beside me.

The same dumb anthem plays, which I was beginning to get annoyed of hearing. Floating in the sky is the symbol of, in my opinion, an deformed-looking bird. Underneath is blue words saying, "The Fallen."

Alarms start going off in my head, when I firstly see the girl from District 5 appear. This is because usually the deaths appear starting from the earlier districts. However, I brush it aside and continue watching, thinking he’ll appear later.

That is until the music stops. The young girl’s face fades away into nothing. For a few seconds, I find myself staring at a blank sky.

That could only mean one thing.

Lee Jeno is still alive.

I scan my surroundings, including all the trees. There's no way he could've gotten this far with a stab wound to the chest, right?

Noticing my uneasiness, the girl is looking up at me in confusion. I calmly walk in the Cornucopia, reaching to grab some things before I leave.

I finally explained to Athena, "Hey, you remember when I said you owed me? I think now sounds good.”

#nct dream smut #nct smut #nct au #nct #nct dream #nct dream imagines #renjun #jeno #jaemin #haechan #nct series

[vexedtonightmares]

has ur internalized homophobia ever held you back from being yourself with female friends? like I love using cutesy endearments like lovely and my dear and I'm naturally very cuddly but I sometimes end up subconsciously avoiding that behavior because my monkey brain tells me my friends will be weirded or grossed out thinking I'm into them or something. idk you don't have to answer if you don't want to I was just noticing this big time today and I'm curious if you have any thoughts or advice

i TOTALLY understand believe me !! i’ve done dance since i was like 2 years old and dance is a very touchy feels sport in general so somehow i was able to compartmentalize that (not to mention ✨repression✨) in a way that i never really thought much about it or was worried about what other people might think because it was just so much a part of what we did but then after high school and making new friends at college and such and finally kind of fully figuring myself out (and then being out to p much all my friends in general) i’ve definitely had those moments where i get worried about how my actions are perceived vs my straight friends actions or what they’ll think if i lean up next to them on the couch instead of sitting apart and things like that and there’s always a little worried voice in the back of my head telling me to do/not do certain things so my friends or other ppl won’t think i’m into them (and then i get mad bc i’m sure none of them have ever had to worry about that sort of thing lol) and since i’m generally not a very cuddly person either when i am there’s that little panic in my head like uh oh they’re gonna be weirded out by this because they’re gonna think ur trying to get with them even if i know that’s obviously not the case 😒 so very long winded but yes i very very much understand and i hate that part of internalized homophobia so much because you don’t even realize it’s there and then it’s like hey u sure u wanna hug ur friend like that that’s kinda gay 🥴 and then the cycle repeats... as far as advice, honestly the best i can probably give is to either (if ur comfortable) talk to people- or even just one person you’re close with/trust- about how you feel because hearing someone else validate your feelings or just listen and see things from your pov kinda eases that constant pressure many lgbtq+ folks feel on the daily in regards to things like this or (and it’s a touch harder but it gets easier bit by bit) just keep doing you and acting the way you naturally do, because at the end of the day if someone has a problem with it that’s their problem, not yours, and if that’s the case maybe try to talk it through and see where things go from there. (also sorry if this is shitty advice i’m just speakin from things i’ve done to combat this sort of thing in the past but i know there’s no right answer really and sometimes that monkey brain rears it’s head again and again bc society has conditioned us to feel certain ways abt certain things even when it’s bullshit and frustrating as hell) this got way longer than intended but if u ever wanna dm or send me more asks feel free to do so because even if i’m terrible at giving advice i’m always willing to listen and give support if needed 💖💖

#asks #tw internalized homophobia #im sorry if i answered or worded anything poorly !! #but i can totally relate so feel free to talk to me abt anything anytime #💖💖