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snakebites-and-ink · 3 months

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Positions - Part 1

Yes, I skipped chapter 8 for now because it was giving me trouble. It was basically a filler chapter so it’s fine to skip and come back to later. All you really need to know is Asher went on another casual outing with some coworkers, so he’s been having some somewhat-positive interactions that aren’t just work.

I was gonna add more leadup at the beginning of the scene, but…I got a little stuck. So I’m just gonna drop you right into it. You’ll figure out what’s going on, it’s pretty straightforward if you have any familiarity with the BBU.

CW: BBU, pet whump, bullying

“Position 12.”

The command was all too familiar, even though it was coming from someone who had no right to give it. Asher’s training was so ingrained into him that he started to move into position automatically. His knees bent and he started to slightly lower himself towards the ground before he caught himself and straightened.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

Asher shot him an angry frown. “You’re not my owner.”

“Maybe not, but I’m not a pet and you are.” The man smirked.

“You don’t have the authority to give me orders like that without my master’s permission,” Asher asserted.

“Then why did you start getting into position?”

“That was out of habit, not obedience.”

“‘Not obedience?’ Sounds like someone isn’t a very good pet.” The man stepped closer and placed a threatening hand on Asher’s shoulder, then shoved him down. “Position 8.”

Asher’s knees hit the floor as the shove sent him towards the ground faster than he could react, but before he actually assumed the position, he twisted and stood back up. He glared at the other man.

“You really should do as you’re told, Asher.” He stepped closer and flicked the metal tag dangling from Asher’s collar.

Asher took a step back but resisted the ever-present automatic urge to placate. That was often the best strategy, but in this case it would just encourage this kind of behavior, which had already gone on long enough. “You really should mind your own business. I already told you, you don’t have the authority for this.”

“Come on, pet, don’t you want to be good?”

That was unfair. Asher scowled at him. “I am good. Just not for anyone like you.”

Asher tried to walk away, only to have his path blocked. He stopped, wary of being pushed towards the floor again, or possibly even risking worse violence.

“Let me go. Please.” The please just slipped out automatically, but it drew an almost vindicated smirk from the other man.

That didn’t last long, though. The drama had drawn the attention of a few other people, a couple of whom were properly within earshot by now. One of them stepped closer and grabbed onto the guy’s arm before he could make another move. “Just let him go, seriously. You’re being a jerk.”

Asher watched quietly, with a hint of nervousness. His attacker looked angry but didn’t seem to have a retort. Probably because his “justification” for what he was doing would just make him sound like the jerk he was accused of being.

“Come on, aren’t you both supposed to be working?” Another chimed in.

“Yeah. You should get back to work,” the jerk said, looking at Asher, perhaps in an attempt to take back control of the situation. Asher didn’t say anything back; he would be more than happy to do so, but he worried that agreement would make the guy feel like he’d won Asher’s obedience. Let him feel like he had the last word, but not vindicate his perceived entitlement to Asher’s submission. That was probably the safest way to deescalate this.

The man was turned and gently led away before he could get worked up over the lack of response. Asher watched them leave, giving a small, thankful smile to his rescuers when one glanced back.

Once he was alone again, Asher let out a long, shuddering breath. Trying to breathe out the tension and fear still buzzing within him. He ran a hand over his collar. He was a good pet. He was okay.

#Asher gets a defiant whumpee moment 🎉#I am not entirely fond of how this turned out but eh. posting anyways and maybe I'll revise it later.#I think it was because I avoided naming all the side characters that it turned out sounding a little weird in places #pet whump #box boy universe #BBU #whump #whump writing #original fic #writing #fiction #oc #my writing #my posts #Asher #Asher series

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icantalk710 · 2 months

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Of course it'll be in the 70s while I'll be in the office and can't jog in it or anything 😒

#ore no kao #i overdressed this morning with my down jacket #shame my gym doesnt have an outdoor spin class but that'll be fun later #maybe i'll get some good work done on revising this big spreadsheet while here

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meownotgood · 2 years

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rough draft is nearly done... final fic will be 3k-5k words, and it will be posted sometime this week

interact if you'd like to be tagged <3 (but please have your age in your bio, otherwise you'll be ignored!)

#ayayayayayayayayayayaayay #if everything goes right this should be uploaded either tomorrow or the next day #but if I get busy maybe will be uploaded a bit later #also keep in mind the tags are pretty incomplete #I'll add more onto them / revise as I finish the fic #the reader is gender neutral so there's no mentions of the reader's body or gender

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p0rk-guts · 1 year

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Made a little Welcome Home sona! She is a spider who loves to knit and weave and sew and crochet and stuff. Ya know bc she's a spider

#wanted 2 give her a spider-y name. Sylvia Silk-Spin mayhaps #i kinda wanted to give her a spider abdomen with 4 legs attatched like Howdy #but i only thought of that after the drawing was already done :/ rats #maybe I'll make a revised version later #my oc's #my art #digital art #welcome home #welcome home oc #welcome home sona

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roseplendunce · 6 months

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(A wee bit late but Lez ignore that- I Did one for normal Fu AND Dark king Fu 💃🏾 sending separately thoo)

“ What a cute little game~! And I’ve got quite a few rows stacked up!! ”

Black’s Type (No Longer Accepting for the time being! Just trying to answer some things from my inbox!)

"Yes, you certainly have." Not that that was a bad thing. Far from it, actually! Though, he certainly wouldn't hold the unchecked boxes and those with stipulations against the philonist king. ...At least, not too much, anyways. It was a lot to ask from a single individual, after all. But, so long as the white-haired demon was willing to make the effort, then, the pseudo-saiyan didn't really have any complaints.

#the-demonpr0digyy #I don't know where I'm going with this. I was just sort of typing- 😅 Maybe I'll come back to this later and revise some stuff

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unendingphantasm · 1 year

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i've been very inactive recently because im in my computer literacy era

#by that i mean i've finall decided to bite into my copy of C: How To Program Fifth Edition Pearson Low Price Edition (2005) that's been #collecting dust and browning on my shelf #the intro said its 'standard' C but the latest revision at the time was C99 #which i will find out what that means #but a lot of the Redditors i found looking up which revision of C should i learn reddit #said that C99 is the minimumcand whatever is added in later revisions is easy to pick up on #yeah 👍 i want to make my lil games and art software and whatever else i can make a computer do #maybe shaders but that's math so idk #i think danmakufu uses C (or at least a language close to it) for its scripting #i tried it once but i didn't go far #i think i drew a jester guy as the boss sprite #i'll try and find it but for now its good night

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for telling my friend that I did not care it made her upset about some of the things I did with my OCs?

I (18F) made OCs with my friends: Kayla (18F), Bell (18F), and Kia (18F). Kayla said that she had a system that had fictives in it. I didn't really understand what she meant by that, but I wasn't going to judge. At least for a little while. We added a discord bot that would help Kayla be able to talk through her different identities in the server. But it got weird.

One day I saw her talking as if she was one of my ocs (I'll dub Chi for this post) and I felt weirded out by that. Kayla then announced that Chi was part of her system. She goes on about how Chi had suddenly appeared in her system and it took 2 days before her other identities accepted her as part of them.

I said that it was weird that Kayla put one of my ocs in her system, but she insisted she wasn't doing it on purpose. Bell and Kia asked me to just knock it off and respect Kayla because "people with systems can't control it when their system changes." I said that I don't like that she has Chi in her system and that Chi was my OC. This felt like someone was stealing my OC from me. Kayla got upset about that and said "you're upsetting everyone in my system by saying Chi doesn't belong there. We have all accepted her and hearing you reject her makes us all upset. Please apologize."

I refused to. Then I remembered that I had shared all of Chi's info in my own personal channel. The others can view it, but they can't type in it. So I deleted everything about Chi in there and left a note that Chi was being revised. That sent Kayla into a panic. "Stop! You can't!" She kept saying and "What did you do?" over and over again. I simply said that I was making changes to Chi. Kayla freaked out more over that and said that it was making her system distressed and that I needed to stop. I told her that I already set my mind to it.

Later I reposted Chi's info with some changes. Changed her from being a kind and caring person to cruel and dismissive. I also made it so that she had a criminal history and had murdered people before. She has trouble making friends and thinks everyone is constantly out to get her. To be honest, I like this version of her more than her previous incarnation.

Kayla did not like this and had a meltdown. She started screaming "what did you do?! What did you do?! What did you do to Chi?!" In the voice call we were having with Bell and Kia. She started begging me to change her back because Chi stopped responding in her system and has vanished. And the rest of her identities were in a panic now. She said "Murderer. You killed her. You killed Chi. For us, this feels like someone just died. A part of us is missing. We feel incomplete now. Please fix this. BRING HER BACK! CHANGE HER BACK! MURDERER! MURDERER! YOU'RE A MURDERER!"

I told her that I refused to change her back and this was the new Chi. This would be how Chi will be from now on no matter what people said because "My OC, my rules."

Kayla logged off of discord after calling me an asshole. Even Bell and Kia are siding with her saying that I took it too far. They also said I was an asshole for murdering a part of Kayla's like that. I said that Chi was not Kayla's to control, and that only I should get a say in what is done with Chi. They called me an asshole for not considering Kayla and her system's feelings right now because they were all mourning.

I don't think I did anything wrong, but maybe I should apologize. I would still refuse to change Chi back to what she was before though. So it would just be a half apology just to make her happy.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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krakensdottir · 10 months

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A scene I wanted to address, because I think we need to, because there is some understandable concern over this.

So, Aziraphale's first taste of human food... he goes pretty nuts. He eats it as fast as he can get it down. He can barely stop to breathe. And I can see why that evokes the Greedy Fat Person trope for some.

Given that Gaiman is no fan of fatphobia, I'm pretty sure that's not the intent. But I won't lean on that. I'll go further, and explain what that scene evoked for me, and see if it makes sense to anyone else.

(To preface, I'm a fat person with blood sugar problems who DOES eat like a starving animal and has 0 shame about it. So I'm not just Not Seeing It because of skinny privilege etc. To get that out of the way.)

So first off, of course, it's his first EVER attempt at eating human food. The absolute lack of moderation could be explained by that alone. But I think it's significant that it's specifically meat.

Those who are familiar with the Old Testament know what I mean when I say that God is carnivorous. It's the entire reason he was a bitch to Cain and not to Abel. The Abrahamic god was one of many at the time that accepted burnt animal offerings, before later revisions attempted to wave that away because oops, it sounds too pagan. Flesh of livestock was a common and expected offering, and burning it assured that the smell and smoke and 'essence' would rise to the heavens.

With that in mind, consider what the taste of meat would do to an angel. What it might awaken in them, the first of God's creations?

Maybe it's the monster-lover in me, but I didn't see a fat man gobbling food. I saw an inhuman ancient entity of immense power that only disguises itself as a man, briefly succumbing to a primal and Earthly urge. It wasn't comical to me. It was almost frightening, in a very intentional way. Rarely do we see through the human guise in this series, see just how eldritch these ethereal beings really are, especially Aziraphale. But here he is, ripping almost uncontrollably into the flesh of another life-form with ominous music and thunder overlying the whole scene, and a demon staring at him with intense satisfaction and fascination throughout.

That's what I took from it. If I had to guess, I'd say that's closer to the intent. Again, partly from knowing the author, but also from the way the scene is shot. We're watching an angel partake in literal pleasures of the flesh for the first time, taking formerly living matter into his body. I can totally vibe with Crowley's reaction, tbh.

#go s2 spoilers #good omens #I know we know they're not human but I think the implications of that are often missed #and I think it's VERY significant to understanding the tone of this scene

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tlbodine · 7 months

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Stuck? Try junebugging.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but we're 5 days into nanowrimo so maybe this will be helpful.

Do you want the safety and surety of knowing what happens next in your story but can't stick to an outline? Does knowing in advance what will happen suck the joy out of discovery writing? Do you try to wing it through plots but get tangled in plot holes or have a story that runs out of steam because you can't figure out what went wrong? Are you at your most creative when you have a little bit of guidance? Do you tend to under-write? Do you get ideas in your head for random scenes and snippets that drop from the sky without context?

If any of these apply to you, junebugging a draft might be for you!

What Is Junebugging?

Since you're on Tumblr, you might already be familiar with the concept of junebugging as it relates to cleaning. If not -- I think the idea was first introduced to me by @jumpingjacktrash.

The basic idea is that you tackle cleaning by way of controlled chaos. You pick a specific area you want to focus on, like your kitchen sink, and then wander off to deal with other things as they occur to you, but always returning back to that area. You end up cleaning a little bit at a time in an order that may not make sense to an outsider but which keeps you from getting overwhelmed and discouraged.

How Does Junebugging Work in Writing?

OK, so that's great, but how does this work with writing? Well. In my case, the general idea is to jump between writing linearly, outlining, and writing out of order. It usually looks something like:

Start free-writing a scene, feeling my way through it and enjoying the discovery process.

Thinking, ok, now I have this scene, did anything need to happen to lead up to it? Do I need to go back and add some foreshadowing? Does this scene set anything up that needs to be paid off? And then jump forward/back to make those adjustments.

I'll usually have a bunch of disconnected ideas of ideas that have popped into my head, so I'll write those down in a list somewhere and then try to figure out what goes in between them and what order it goes in.

I'll write what I call "micro-scenes" which is where I'll just sketch out a few essential elements of what's going on without worrying too much about details, description, etc. -- just he did this, she said that, the setting was this, real bare-bones script. Then I can come back through and flesh out each of those microscenes into an actual scene later.

Got a story that has a complex structure? No problem. Write through each storyline one at a time and then chop them up and weave them together afterward. Write all the B plot scenes first then come back through to do A plot and C plot. Move the pieces around like legos. No one ever has to know.

This method works for me because I can't "decide" story elements in advance. I have never been able to just sit down and "figure out" what happens in a story beyond a couple steps ahead -- I have to discovery-write my way forward. But at the same time, that gets really daunting. So I zoom forward with micro-scenes, roughing out the beats in the most bare-bones way possible, then when I run out of clear vision for what happens next I backtrack, flesh out those scenes, build in connective tissue, etc. and by then I will probably find more inspiration to jump forward.

It's basically folding drafting, outlining, and revising all together into a single phase of writing, which is chaotic and goes against everything people teach you, but if it works? then it fuckin works.

Anyway, sorry for the jumbled-up post, I'm dashing this off quickly while I heat up a pizza and I'm about to dive back into my WIP -- but I hope this was a little helpful. If nothing else, take this as my blanket permission that it's 100% OK to jump around, write out of order, write messy, outline sometimes, pants sometimes, and do whatever else it takes just to get through the story. You've got this. Good luck.

#writing tips #nanowrimo #writing advice #nano 2023 #writeblr #writing community #plotting vs pantsing #junebugging

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feelbokkie · 1 year

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괜찮아 잡아줄게 (It's okay, I'll catch you)

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

**Requested**

If it’s not too much to ask, can I request a Jisung one shot with prompts 8, 12, and 16? Maybe the reader is having a bad panic attack and her bf Jisung is the only one who can calm her down? Love your writing 💕

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, a smidge of fluff at the end as a treat

pov: 2nd person

description: You're having a panic attack and the only only one who can calm you down is your boyfriend Jisung. (title is a lyric from Grow Up) (not proof read)

pairing: bf!jisung x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, reader is having a panic attack (DNI if you might get triggered)

word count: 2,950

You were sitting at the dining room table in the dorm ,that you share with your boyfriend Jisung and three of his group mates, typing furiously on your laptop. You had several assignment deadlines all due within the next couple of days, including your 2 year long thesis. After 4 long years of university, you were finally graduating, if you managed ro get all your assignments in on time and your thesis submitted.

You’re not sure how or why you’re so behind on your studies. Sure, you weren’t the most organized person, but you you always did a little bit of work that way when you inevitably had to sit down and work on whatever assignment you procrastinated, you were ready to go. You pride yourself on “working well under pressure” despite it giving you major anxiety and a few minor panic attacks. Your thesis, despited being the culmination of your entire university experience, was no exception to that. You had done your research for your topic. Most of the first year you started working in it was spent collecting articles and data and saving it for later when you would actually start writing. You were supposed to start writing in January. But you kept pushing it off since the submission deadline wasn’t until April.

That’s how most of the semester went when you realized that none of your professors cared about when you got your assignments in. As long as you turned something in, and it looked like you put effort, you got an A. Unlike your assignments, your thesis had to be read and approved by academic readers before you could submit it and you had only emailed them twice the whole semester with 2 half asses drafts. You decided to pull several all nighters last week to get a complete 60 paged draft roughly two weeks before the deadline so you would have time for revisions. You managed to email it to them exactly a week ago today, now you were anxiously waiting for your feedback. The problem is, they were taking too long and the thesis is due Monday. Normally, they would email you back 1-2 days after you email them a draft, even with your longer papers. It scared you to think that they’re taking 7 whole days this time, leaving you roughly 5ish days to work on revisions, not counting the turn around time for them to send you more feedback. While waiting, you pulled even more all-nighters to catch up on your other assignments that got neglected of the past few weeks.

Jisung had been good with leaving you alone the past few weeks while you worked. All of your roommates were. Hyunjin mostly stayed in his room like normal, only coming out every few hours to eat and socialize before returning to his room. Changbin is gone most of the day, either working out or exploring the out world. The few time’s he’s been home he tried to stay quiet and out of your way. Chan also spends a lot of time either in his room or at the studio. He even offered to let you use his room to do your homework in while he’s at the studio so the others were less likely to bug you. Jisung, being a bit more needy than the other three men, stayed near you most of the time. Like reading manga at the table while you worked or watching something on his computer either at the table next to you on the floor. He also makes sure you eat and get some sort of snack. He often would have to come beg you to get some sleep, promising to wake you up at a certain time so you could get back to work. Right now, he’s at the convenience store getting lunch for the two of you.

Taking a break from writing, you check your email for the 15th time today. Seeing an email from your academic advisor at the top makes your heart drop. You waste no time opening the email, eyes quickly scanning the words. Making sure you were reading everything properly, you re-read the email.

“Hey, how are you doing with your homework?” Hyunjin pats your head as he walks by, finally leaving his room for the second time today.

“Everything is okay,” You mutter back, finally opening the comments that your readers left on your paper.

Hyunjin stares at you for a second. He knows that you definitely didn’t answer the question he asked. He debated if he should press you or continue on like nothing happened. He knew you were stressed, all of your roommates did. So he brushed it off as you being too engrossed in your assignments and continued on to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.

“Everything is okay,” You mumble to yourself.

Everything is not okay. Your advisors had completely torn your paper apart. You knew there were issues with it, it was only natural that you hadn’t written a perfect complete draft after multiple sleepless nights. You expected it. What you hadn’t expected was being told that your paper was so bad that there would be no way for you to fix it in time for the Monday submission deadline and you would instead have to work on it over the summer. It’s not good enough. You’re not good enough.

“Everything is okay,”

“Did you say something?” Hyunjin calls from the kitchen. He was debating if he should just give up on the idea of making something to eat and just order food.

You could feel your heartbeat getting faster at the notion that everything not being okay, like it would beat out of your chest at any second. You can feel your hands becoming cold and clammy. You slowly wipe your hands on you pant legs, trying to calm yourself down. If you don’t do something—anything to calm down, you’re going to have a panic attack. You need cold water. You quickly stand up, legs feeling like jelly, and make your way to the kitchen.

You walk straight past Hyunjin, who was now finishing ordering himself food, and grab a cup from the cabinet. He pays little attention to you as he focuses on the menu, debating if he should just order dinner as well. He doesn’t see your hands shaking as you take the cup to the sink and fill it with ice and cold water. He doesn’t even look up at you until the combination of your sweaty, shaking hands and the heaviness of the cup makes you drop it, shattering it across the floor.

“Everything is okay,” You can’t even get a cup of water.

Hyunjin rushes to get the broom while you drop to the floor and start picking up the shards of glass. Your heart is beating even faster now, you can feel it in your ribcage, and now you’re breathing quickly.

“Y/n, I got it, move,” Hyunjin playfully pushes you away with the broom except, you don’t budge. Instead your chest tightens and your breathing quickens even more.

“Y/n? Chan hyung!” Hyunjin drops the broom and come next to you as he watched you cut yourself on a piece of glass and still try to clean, finally understanding that everything is not okay.

Chan rushes out of his room at the sound of panic in Hyunjin’s voice. He stops when he sees you sitting on the floor, hyperventilating and holding glass in your bloodied hands while Hyunjin slowly rubs circles on your back. He kneels down on the other side of you and carefully pulls the glass shards you are holding out of your hands.

“What happened?” Chan doesn’t take his eyes off you.

“I don’t know! She dropped the cup and started having a panic attack.” Hyunjin says, standing up.

“Where’s Han?” Hyunjin hands Chan a towel for your hand. The cut isn’t bad enough for you need stitches, but it is still bleeding.

“He went out not too long ago.”

“Call him, now. Y/n, hey, let try to take a deep breathe…” Chan now focuses all of his attention of calming you down.

The boys know you’re prone to panic attack, especially when you're stressed. They also know that Jisung is the only one who is able to properly calm you down if you weren’t able to stop the attack from happening in the first place.

“…Don’t panic, but you need to come home right now…It’s Y/n, she having a panic attack…Chan hyung is with her right now but it seems really bad this time…Yeah, okay see you soon. Hyung, Han said to try that 333 thing.” Hyunjin slides his phone back in his pocket before picking up the broom again and trying to clean up the broken glass.

“Yeah, right, okay, um… Y/n, can you tell me three things you see?” Chan was now sitting right in front of you, hands on your wrists stroking a finger back and forth trying to calm you down a bit.

“Everything…is…okay,” You choke out, tears now falling down your face. Chan starts to worry more now. In all the times he’s seen you have a panic attack, he’s never see you reduced to tears. He quickly shares a look with Hyunjin who was now done cleaning the glass and getting a mop for the water.

“Yeah, you’re right everything is okay. Why don’t you just tell me three things you can hear instead?”

“Can’t breathe,” Your breathes become shorter as the pounding in your chest gets even stronger, practically blocking out all outside sounds.

“Let’s just take one deep breathe. Can you do that for me? I’ll do it with you, c’mon,” You try to follow Chan’s lead and take a deep but choke instead and start crying harder.

“Hyung…” Hyunjin softly calls out. He’s one of your best friends and he hates seeing you in distress like this.

“Yeah, I know. Just go wait by the door so you can let Han in when he gets here. Y/n, it’s okay. Let’s try that again but slowly this time.” Chan was no longer concerned that you were having a panic attack, but that you might actually make yourself pass out this time. He slight moves his body so that he could catch you if you went down.

A few minutes later, Jisung runs into the dorm out of breathe. Hyunjin points to the kitchen and takes the bag that was in his hands. Jisung quickly kicks off his shoes and rushes into the kitchen where you were now full on sobbing on the floor. He wastes no time sitting in front of you and cupping your face.

“Sungie?” Your tearful eyes meet his concerned ones.

“Hey princess, what’s going on?” His thumb swipes over your cheek, briefly breaking the flow of tears. Chan finally gets up from the floor and leaves the two of you in the kitchen alone. He sits with Hyunjin in the living room, making sure to keep an ear out in case he was needed again.

“Everything is okay,” You repeat. At this point, you weren’t sure if you had been telling everyone else that everything was fine or if you were trying to calm yourself down.

“Everything is okay, let’s try to focus on your breathing so that everything can be even more okay.”

“I—I can’t, it hurts. Like my chest is going to explode. I think it actually might this time.” Jisung’s left hand leaves your face and gently lands on your chest with slight pressure. The fact that he could feel how hard your heart was working worried him. He quietly decided that if he couldn’t calm you down in 20 minutes, he’d call for an ambulance.

“You’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He reassures you. Your eyes start to wander around the kitchen, remembering everything you had to get done today.

“I broke a glass…and I still have so much homework to get done.” Your breathing quickens yet again and you cry even harder.

“Hey, just look at me. Forget everything else. The glass is already taken care of and we can worry about your homework a little later. Right now, I just need you to touch my hand. Can you do that for me?” His right hand leaves your face. He holds up next to him, like he’s awkwardly waving hi, and waits for you to touch it.

“Ji, I can’t,” You whimper.

“Yes, you can. I know you can. Just listen to my voice. Take a deep breathe in and when you touch my hand, let that breathe out. Okay?” He slowly takes a deep breathe in and you follow suite. Your shaky hand meets his steady one and you let out the air you were holding in.

“Good girl,” He moves his hand to a new position, “let’s do that again.”

You repeat your actions, taking a deep breathe in and letting it out once you touch Jisung’s, until your breathing becomes less labored. His left hand never leaves your chest, acting like a weight blanket with the amount of pressure he was adding. He was afraid to actually put a real weighted blanket on you in your current state.

“Feel a little better?” Jisung asks, still continuing to have you follow his hand. You just quietly shake your head yes. Your breathing had regulated and your heart had slowed down to a normal pace.

“Can you get up?” You shake your head yes again.

“Okay, let’s get you up so we can take care of that hand.” Jisung gets up first and helps pull you up. He leaves out a hand for you to take. Instead you grab his sleeve and allow him to lead you out of the kitchen.

The two of you walk past Chan and Hyunjin who were quietly talking on the couch. Jisung quietly gives them a look of appreciation and that everything is good before taking you to the bathroom. Once inside he helps you sit on the counter, careful to make sure you don’t see yourself in the mirror. Worried that if you saw the state of yourself, you might start panicking again. You had calmed down significantly, but you were still crying and that worried him.

“Do…do you want to talk about what made you panic? It’s okay if you don’t.” He pulls out the first-aid kit and starts cleaning your cut.

“I”m not good enough,” You simply choke out.

“What makes you say that?” That’a one of the things you love about Jisung. He never jumps to reassure you when you doubt yourself, he tries to understand why you’re feeling a certain way first.

“My thesis is shit and my readers say there is no way for me to fix it in time for submission on Monday so I’ll have to do it during the summer. And I don’t know what that means for graduation next month because we’ve already booked the venue for the dinner and my family already bought their tickets and booked their hotel rooms and if I tell them I can’t graduate anymore then they’ll be disappointed and I’ll be proving them right about every decision I’ve ever made—”

“Breathe, Y/n, just breathe…” He doesn’t even look up as he wraps your hand with a bandage.

“Everything is falling apart, Ji.” He cleans up the first-aid kit and then grabs a clean wash cloth from under the cabinet, wetting it with water from the sink.

“Let’s just take everything one step at a time, okay? You already caught up with all your late work, right?”

“Yeah,”

“And you were just trying to get ahead on your last few assignment?”

“Yeah,”

“I’m sure they’ll still let you walk at graduation and just hold onto your degree until you turn in your thesis. Tomorrow, I will help you contact your school to figure that out. Today, let’s just focus on getting you better. You haven’t been sleeping much the past couple of weeks. Let’s just take the rest of the day to rest.” Jisung takes the washcloth and wipes your face, cleaning the tears.

“But Jisung, I can’t—”

“How about we take a small break and you take a nap? And then we can go from there? I know how much it drains you when you have a panic attack.”

“Okay, just a nap.”

“And lunch, you also need to eat too. We can eat in our room if you want. I got some gimbap and ramyeon.”

“Okay, food and a nap.” Jisung takes you back to your shared room and sits you on the bed. He wraps you in the weight blanket that you two use when one of you are feeling anxious. He kisses your forehead before leaving the room for a little bit.

When he comes back he’s carrying two bowls and the bag he had earlier. He carefully sets the food on the table that you bought so you could work while in bed before sitting down in front of you. He watches as your still shaky hands grab the chops sticks and fail to get any noodles before he slowly offers to feed you.

“Do you want me to help you with your homework? I know I’m not the best with school stuff but I’ll try to help you any way I can.” He says, taking a bite of his own food.

“I think I’ll be fine after some rest, but can you just sit with me later while I work maybe?”

“Of course, anything for you, jagi.”

—

Buy me a coffee?

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yumeka-sxf · 8 months

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My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3

Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.

Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters

There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).

So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅

Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)

Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).

My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂

And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).

This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!

Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!

Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."

He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.

Concept art

Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.

As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.

An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.

Twiyor tidbits

Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂

Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.

Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️

Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.

This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.

Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.

Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)

Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.

Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.

English version omissions

There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.

At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.

And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).

Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.

---

And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!

<- Return to Part 2

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #twiyor #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #bond forger #sxf manga #sxf manga spoilers #sxf spoilers #tatsuya endo

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fizlok-dev · 3 months

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Another revision to the UI mockup!

I'm pretty happy with the party member icons I got here. I'll probably leave a bit of the box under Macey free so I can figure out how to fill the space later. Right now magic/mp is what I envision might be there.

I still am not sure how I want to handle magic. I know I want it to be more of a last resort, always available option and not a centralizing playstyle. I do want to implement some sort of spellcrafting too. I played a bit of Touhou Genso Wanderer and it implemented a half idea I had where MP was a gathered resource that can't be regenerated at all. I think this could possibly work, but I also am considering just a spell charge system where you have limited casts until you reach a resting point in a town or something. Right now I'm considering overhauling the path finding system from using Godot's AStarGrids and implement a system using Dijkstra Maps . This would super helpful in implementing a IDash or autoexplore system, but I think I can manage to creatively use AStarGrids without needing to overhaul for npc AI. But I would still need to figure out IDash or maybe just abandon it for now.

#fizdev

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f1bordeaux · 10 months

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If You Cared (Part 4) | mv1

It's been years since you've indulged in a vacation. What better time is there than summer? Your family, the beach house in Italy-it seems perfect. But, for things to be just like good old times, your family needs to invite his. So of course you are having mixed feelings as the boy who broke your heart re-enters your life like nothing happened. Warnings: Suggestive content in the beginning, implied nudity, angst Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader Word count: 2.3k Poetry style | Story style A/n: One more part left! I decided to do 5 chapters instead of only 4, so the next part is the last part. This was kinda rushed, sorry if you can tell, but I'm leaving soon and I really wanted to finish this up for you guys so you weren't waiting for two months lmao. I'll come back one day and revise it, but ur stuck with this for now. Enjoy! Part 5 will be up tomorrow <;3 Part One|Part Two|Part Three|Part Four|Part Five

“Goodnight!” You waved as your mom and dad sombered down the hall. Finally.

You ran into your room, reaching for your phone on your desk. Max’s contact was the first one to pop up. Come up. You sent.

Victoria and I are still in the living room chatting. I’m trying to get up there. He sent back immediately.

I’ll be waiting, just come in. Don’t knock. With that, you set your phone down and cracked open your window. A thick, cold gust of wind blew in. It would rain soon, a perfect background noise for what was about to happen. You smirked thinking about it. You smirked thinking about how worked up you made Max on the yacht, just to say in the end, “You have to wait until we get home to do anything more than kiss.”

This would be fun.

The only light in the room was coming from a lamp on your desk. It created a warm, soft, dreamy atmosphere. Your sheets seemed softer than normal, your pillow seemed thicker than normal, the wood on your feet seemed colder than normal. Maybe it was the exhaustion finally setting in from the day on the boat, but your senses were heightened. You wondered what it would feel like to kiss Max again. Would it be different? Would it feel better?

Only a few more minutes would pass before your door opened so quietly that you almost didn’t notice. Max slid in through the crack, a smile on his lips. “Hello.” He said.

“Glad to see you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t pass this up for the world.” He said, sitting next to you on your bed. His arms wrapped around you, pulling your body into a tight embrace. You both fell backwards, giggling as your bodies hit the bed. At once, you both closed your eyes just basking in each other's body heat and feeling your breath on one another's skin.

Your legs dangled off the bed, and when you realized, you pulled them up and curled into Max. He just hummed softly, placing a kiss on the top of your head. It would be so easy to just fall asleep. To just postpone this until later. What if you both just…

“Hey.” He whispered.

You blinked slowly, taking in the now different view. The two of you were now laying normally on your bed, your body being held by Max still. It was raining pretty hard outside. You could hear it clearly through your open window. The lamp was off now and the alarm clock on your desk read 4:55 AM. You remembered it being only midnight.

“Hi.” You whispered back. Max drew stars on your cheek, smiling as you looked up at him with gleaming eyes. You were always so amazed by him, it didn’t take a scientist to figure that out. He could honestly say that he felt the same about you.

“We fell asleep.”

“Yeah,” You tucked your head into his chest. His shirt smelled of sunscreen and salt. “I guess we did.”

“Do you feel alright?”

You just nodded, not pulling your face away from his body. He, however, reached his hand under your chin, pulling your face just a few inches below his. Even in the dark you could see the outline of his features. You could see his lips, his beautiful eyes, his nose, his messy hair. As you studied his face, he studied yours. It was like you both got lost in one another. These moments had been more frequent lately. You enjoyed every second of them.

“If you want something, Max,” You smirked, inching closer. “Just ask.”

You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. “Can I kiss you?”

“Anytime.”

It happened in a flash, his lips connected to yours in a rushed haze. His hand came to the small of your back pulling your pelvis into his. His other hand gripped the back of your head with such force that a small moan slipped into the kiss. Max loved it. He wanted you to do it again and again. You remained like this for only a few seconds before he flipped you onto your back, pulling away as he did so.

“God,” He whispered. “You look so good. How’d I get so lucky?”

You just looked away, hiding underneath your arm. Max pulled it away, insisting that he wanted to admire your blissed out look. The rain picked up outside. You felt so happy that you could cry. This was a moment you’d been wanting with Max since you were a teenager. Honestly, this made you have a hopeful outlook for the future. He wouldn’t have sex with you then just leave. Surely this was the beginning of something new, something you’d wanted for years.

“Can I take your shirt off?”

You nodded, lifting your arms straight up so he could slide it off. “Now yours,” You instructed.

“Yes ma’am.”

Your body was humming in pure ecstasy as his bare skin was flush against yours. He stared at you for a few seconds, looking at your face, then your body, then your lips. He was practically drooling as he consumed the image before him. Not only was this a dream come true for you, but it was for him, too. He’d always had eyes for you, he’d always wanted to feel and kiss you. As much as he was your first crush, you were his. His first kiss was also you, even though he lied at the time and said he’d been with plenty of girls. He was determined to do things right this time, to not be idiotic or selfish, to not be doubtful or despondent.

Max kissed your neck before moving down to place small kisses on your chest. They were quick, his lips moving to another spot only seconds after attaching to the first. “Max,” You moaned, hand entwined in his hair. “Give me more.”

He looked up, a smile on his face. “More?”

You nodded. “More.”

“We’re going to be late!” Your mom yelled from down the hall.

Right, this was not what you were supposed to be doing. “Max, we gotta go.” You gasped, pulling away from him.

Max frowned, adjusting his tie as you walked to your desk to reapply your jewelry. “I was having fun.”

The ‘fun’ he was talking about was having you pushed into the wall of your bedroom as the two of you feverishly made out. This had become rather common in the past few days. Ever since the night on the yacht, the dynamic between the two of you had changed from best friends with a mutual crush to best friends with benefits. Max used these benefits every chance he got. Even if it was ten minutes before a big formal charity ball.

You stepped in front of the mirror to admire your outfit. A long, skin tight, wine-red dress clung to your body. There was a slit up the left leg. Your hair was up, your makeup was done perfectly, you were flawless. Max stepped into the mirror, too, his arms wrapping around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder.

“You look stunning, baby.” Max whispered in your ear. Your skin began to rise with chills. “So good.”

“You do too, Max.” You turned to kiss him on the cheek. He wore a black suit and tie, but somehow he made the simple outfit look so complex, so elegant, so royal. “Let's go.”

He opened your door for you, extending an arm as you walked by. When the two of you walked down the stairs, everyone looked. It truly was like two members of a royal family were walking into the room. Your dad whistled, your mom and Max’s pulled out their phones to take photos, Victoria smiled, holding onto her husband, Luca and Mia shared-concerning glances? Mia-without a doubt-looked worried. Like, next level worried. Cat just got hit by a car worried.

“You two look phenomenal.” Sophie said.

“Thanks, mom.” Max responded.

The eleven of you were all dressed to impress. The cameras would surely find their way to you, tonight. This charity ball was something you attended every summer, but now that Max was a celebrity who had millions of people watching his every move, cameras were going to be present. So, you all took a little extra time to look good. Luca wondered if any girls would see his photo and ask about him. Max boosted his ego and said, “Maybe.”

When you all got there, the venue was packed. A small, round table had the name cards for you, Max, your siblings and Victoria’s family. Your parents and Sophie were elsewhere, sitting at a table with high-end contributors who were older than dust.

You were on one side of Max, his brother-in-law was on the other. Mia was on the opposite side of the table and still she carried this worrying look. Was she sick? “Mia?” You asked. “Are you alright?”

“I-um,” She looked at Max. He looked away, tapping on the table to get his little nephew's attention. “Yes. I am ok.”

“Are you sure? I can drive you home.”

“Yes, y/n. I’m alright.”

Odd. All night she would furrow her brows, frown, sigh or just be overall sad whenever you and Max whispered in each others ears, whenever his hand came to rest on your knee, whenever he fed you a piece of food, whenever you leaned into his shoulder while laughing. Luca began leaning into her, whispering something that you couldn’t quite hear.

“So, Max. You leave soon, right?” She started up.

He cleared his throat, setting his napkin on the table. “I do, yeah. Four days.”

Your heart began to pang in your chest. How could you have forgotten? The three weeks Max spent with you were almost up. You two would have to go your own ways now. You were hopeful, however. This hurt way less than the first time it happened.

“What comes next for,” Mia waved her hand between the two of you. “This?”

You sighed. Why was she being so rude? “Mia-”

“What do you mean?” Max asked.

She sipped from her wine glass, setting it back down with such force that a bit splashed out over the side. “When you go back to Monaco and she goes back to the states. What happens then? Are you gonna break her heart again?”

“Mia! Enough.” You corrected her. “What is your problem tonight-you know what, no. Not even tonight. You’ve been a bitch to Max for the past week. Why?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you explain, Max.” She turned her whole body to face Luca who sat to her right. “Or you can explain, Luca.”

Luca almost spit out his water. “Me?”

“What are you talking about?” You asked. You slowly turned to look at Max. His hand came from off your thigh to the wine glass in front of him. He downed the last of the red liquid, almost as if he was refusing to speak.

“Nobody? No takers?” Mia proceeded. “Fine then, I’ll tell y/n.”

At that moment, at that table, your summer crumbled. No longer would the sun feel as warm, would the beach feel as calming, would Elba feel as homely, would Max feel so wonderful. All the worries you had, all the wonders that plagued your mind, all of the what ifs, all of the maybes-everything came crashing down. Everything became a slew of nevers, of goodbyes, of I would just rather forget you’s.

Mia sighed. “Y/n, Luca bet Max that he wouldn’t be able to kiss you this summer. And he took it.”

“He bet what?” You asked. “What do you mean?”

“At dinner on the first night you got up to go to the bathroom. When you were gone, Luca bet Max one hundred dollars that he couldn’t get you to kiss him. Max took the bet and said that he could make it happen.”

Oh. So, was it real? Was any of it real? The first night after dinner when he sat next to you by the pool, was he just trying to win the bet? When he stayed home to watch the sunrise with you, was he just trying to win the bet? When he apologized, was it just a step in his plan to win the bet? Wherever you and him would ride together in his car, go to the beach together, play games together, fall asleep on the couch together-was it for his bet? When you first kissed, did he feel good because of you or because he knew he beat Luca?

“Max,” You practically whispered. “Tell me she’s lying.”

He said nothing. There was now this deafening silence hanging over the table. You felt sick. Why wouldn’t Max just look at you and say that it was fake, that Mia was making shit up?

“Max, please.” You begged. Tears formed in your eyes. “Why wont you say anything?”

“It’s true.” Was all he said. He didn’t look at you, he looked at Luca. So you looked at Luca. He hung his head as soon as you made eye contact with him.

“How could you-why did you-Mia. How’d you find out?” Was your next question.

“Luca was playing video games with one of his friends talking about it,” She said. “And I overheard it and made him explain it all.”

“Luca, how could you do that to me?” Your voice was so quiet, so close to breaking. “You’re my brother.”

“Y/n, I-”

You stood up, chair scratching the floor as you did so. With quick, long steps, you darted out of the dining venue. Mia was quick to follow. Max didn’t get up, neither did Luca. Not that you cared anymore. There was one thing you wanted and it wasn’t an apology from anyone, it was the first flight back to New York.

You’d done it again. He’d done it again.

Max Verstappen once again had broken your heart and didn't bother to watch you cry or attempt to apologize.

How foolish of you to fall once again.

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