#manifesting this to be less than 4 chapters <3

[loosingmoreletters]

Title: foolproof plans and the idiots executing them

Summary: Yu Ziyuan arranges for Wei Ying to be married off to Gusu Lan, promising an obedient wife for the second Jade of Lan.

As far as Wei Wuxian and his siblings are concerned, there are several issues with that promise, starting with the fact that despite appearance, Wei Wuxian is very much not a girl.

The solution? Ditch the nice dress on the way to Gusu, invent a fake twin, and behave so outrageously nobody could want to marry a girl with any blood relation to him.

Or, the one where Wei Wuxian pretends to be his own twin brother to break his engagement and Lan Wangji has an ongoing sexuality crisis about falling in love with his betrothed’s brother.

1.

“This is never going to work,” Jiang Cheng said with barely hidden panic.

“Not with that attitude, it won’t,” Wei Wuxian retorted and stepped out from behind the privacy screen half-dressed. “Jiang Cheng, grab the bandages—”

“What are you doing!?” he thundered and turned around, face flushed red.

Wei Wuxian grinned. His brother truly had the best reactions.

“But A-Cheng!” Wei Wuxian cried. “I can’t wrap the bindings around my chest on my own! And we’ll be rooming for the foreseeable future anyway, so you best get rid of any propriety now before all of Cloud Recesses hears you scream. Besides, you’ll never be closer to a maiden’s bosom—“

Snarling, Jiang Cheng took the bindings and marched over to his brother. “What fucking maiden are you talking about?”

It was true, Wei Wuxian was many things, but a maiden wasn’t one of them. This enraged Madam Yu especially as she had staged the last eight years on Wei Wuxian being a good little girl and doing as she was told.

When he’d first been brought to Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian had been awfully timid and fearful, which Madam Yu had hoped he would remain. Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian was everything but, and the more comfortable he became, the more did his true personality shine through: that of a clever and mischievous boy. Truly, he hadn’t grasped the difference that people prescribed to girls and boys at a young age, only ever chafed at the expectations laid at his feet.

Which brought them to their current predicament. Madam Yu had striven to be rid of Wei Wuxian since he’d been brought to her doorstep, and a shy and timid girl had been an easy image to sell to Gusu Lan; thus, a marriage had been arranged. Perhaps Madam Yu had done it so quickly to prevent Jiang Fengmian from getting ideas, but regardless, Wei Wuxian was supposed to be meeting his betrothed for the first time.

And that just would not do.

2.

Jiang Yanli was the nicest person at Lotus Pier and nobody wanted to displease her.

“Alright, does everyone know their lines?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes!” the assembled disciples replied while Wei Wuxian, her A-Xian, threw his hands behind his head, grinning, and A-Cheng looked pained but determined.

One arranged marriage was enough for their family. Jiang Yanli knew she could make Koi Tower her home if she put enough work into it, but the Cloud Recesses, with its many rules and the false expectations her mother had fed the Lan, could never bring her brother happiness.

A-Xian’s old robes were packed away in his bags now while his own, all newly purchased and hidden beneath her own on departure from Lotus Pier, were now where they belonged. He didn’t have as many as he ought to as commissioning them had been expensive, and the seamstress needed to be sworn to secrecy as she padded the robes in the right places to hide A-Xian’s silhouette.

Her brother looked good in them, wearing dark violet, the red he was never without, and some black to further craft their illusion. Well, perhaps it wasn’t entirely an illusion, A-Xian was who he was regardless of his body, but Yanli could tell it pleased him that the cut of his robes matched that of the male disciples.

Let’s get this show on the road, then.

Jiang Yanli plastered a pleasant smile on her face and went to greet the guards.

3.

“Nobody told me he was pretty,” Wei Wuxian whispered to Jiang Cheng when Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji came to welcome them.

It took all of Jiang Cheng’s strength to not whack his brother.

“No, seriously, I think he’s prettier than I am when Madam Yu has Shijie doll me up.”

There were so many things that could be going wrong with their plan, the reputation of their sect might suffer from it too, but what was Jiang Cheng to do? Their mother wanted this and their father never listened properly when they or Wei Wuxian tried to explain the problem with the matter at hand. And perhaps scheming like this was unfilial, but didn’t Jiang Cheng also have a duty to his older siblings?

“We thank Gusu Lan for your hospitality, but we must also apologize for—”

That, Wei Wuxian took as his cue as he skipped away from Jiang Cheng’s side and walked right up to the two brothers, a mischievous smile on his face.

Oh, this was going to end in disaster.

Jiang Cheng would have to watch Gusu Lan be so insulted they’d decimate his brother, and then he’d have to go fight the Twin Jades on his brother’s behalf because nobody fucked with his people and mother would beat him with Zidian because she wouldn’t get it.

“My sister’s absence!” Wei Wuxian interrupted loudly. “Ah, it’s so nice to meet my future brother-in-law. Tell me, which one of you is it? No! Let me guess!”

He made a show of thinking about it before pointing at Lan Wangji, who seemed to be entirely displeased with the interaction. If this was all it took to get to the younger Jade of Lan, they’d have that engagement canceled by the end of the second week.

“It’s you! With that thick face!” Wei Wuxian finally exclaimed and pointed at Lan Wangji. “Don’t you know that you won’t please a girl with a face like that? My poor sister!”

Dramatically, he turned to the other Jiang disciples, who were all attempting to stifle their laughter. At least they hadn’t arrived with all the pomp of the Jin. As far as good first impressions went, they could still do worse.

“Sister?” Lan Xichen asked carefully, clearly making an inquiry all while attempting to sound polite about it. Jiang Cheng almost felt a little bad for lying to his face like that.

“Yes! My dear meimei, Wei Ying, your brother’s betrothed,” Wei Wuxian said. “She couldn’t make it to the lectures after all, so I decided to go instead to get a sense of her betrothed. I shall tell her that he cannot even smile at his future brother-in-law, treats me like a stranger! Ah, she will be so distraught.”

Wei Wuxian was getting entirely too invested in his performance, and Jiang Cheng couldn’t even be mad about it.

“I apologize,” Lan Xichen said. “I wasn’t aware Wei-guniang had a brother, or that you’d come to these lectures.”

Shaking his head like a disappointed elder, Wei Wuxian sighed. “It must be because of the name! See, when Sect Leader Jiang found us, my sister and I both listened to ‘A-Ying’, for it was what we recalled our parents calling us! So you certainly must have heard of me, but just assumed the Wei Ying in the stories is my sister! But fear not, this one is called Wuxian by courtesy. But as we are family soon—” At that, Wei Wuxian grinned absolutely shamelessly at Lan Wangji. “—Lan-er-gege may call me Wei Ying too.”

Lan Wangji’s face expressed that he would absolutely not be doing that.

4.

“We have a missive explaining it,” Jiang Yanli said kindly, handing a letter she’d forged to Lan Xichen.

She only felt a little guilty for faking her father’s signature, but if he hadn’t wanted her to know how to do it, he wouldn’t have let her watch him work that often.

5.

On the morning Lan Wangji was meant to meet his betrothed, he realized that he had no idea at all what he was supposed to feel about his engagement. He’d never met Wei Ying before, nor heard exceptionally much about her. Asking Uncle proved less than fruitful as his agreement to the marriage was mostly politically motivated. Even if not Sect Leader Jiang’s daughter by blood, Wei Ying was of sufficient standing through his benevolence that they gained a beneficial alliance. Marrying her in the future was Lan Wangji’s duty, so he’d see it through.

They could be friends, at least, he hoped. And if not, he’d do what he could to give her freedom to travel without losing her reputation.

He would not be his father.

6.

By the time night had fallen and Lan Wangji was in his bed, he was assured the engagement would be a disaster if Wei Ying was anything like her alcohol-smuggling, curfew-ignoring brother!

But, as her twin, they might be alike in looks.

Lan Wangji did not want to linger on that thought.

7.

After day two of their sort-of-but-not-really charade, Wei Wuxian was beyond convinced that their mutual agreement not to marry him off to Gusu Lan was the right choice. Constrained by more rules than ever before, Wei Wuxian thought he would lose his mind. Sure, Lotus Pier had its unwritten rules too, most of them boiling down to staying on Madam Yu’s not-bad side because she simply didn’t have a good one, but they didn’t hold a candle to all the ridiculousness the Lan came up with!

Unfortunately, as Lan Qiren’s steadily growing more irritated voice pointed out, Wei Wuxian hadn’t created a step-by-step plan for falling out of favor that did not summon Jiang Fengmian to the Cloud Recesses.

Well, all Wei Wuxian could do about Lan Qiren was quiet down a little in class. He wanted to break his engagement, not bring diplomatic turmoil over the sect, though a broken engagement was pretty much the same.

No, Wei Wuxian only had to annoy Lan Wangji enough and as his uncle’s prized nephew and student, surely once he wanted the engagement ended, Wei Wuxian would be free.

8.

Jiang Cheng didn’t see how incessantly spending time with Lan Wangji would keep one of the brightest of their generation from figuring out their trick, but he did know how to keep others quiet. It wasn’t too much of a problem as his mother had always kept Wei Wuxian far away from other sects, fearing he’d cause an incident.

The only one who knew better was stupid, pretentious Jin Zixuan, who kept giving Wei Wuxian side glances, wondering just why he was seated here with them instead of with the girls as their sister.

And Jin Zixuan, much like the bright gold of his uniform, had no sense whatsoever for staying the fuck quiet.

While Wei Wuxian happily skipped ahead in the line, pestering Lan Wangji about the nighthunt, Jiang Cheng stayed close to Jin Zixuan.

“Zewu-jun,” Jin Zixuan addressed Lan Xichen after yet another disbelieving look at Wei Wuxian. “If I may ask, why is Wei Ying attending our class?”

No, he may not ask, especially someone from a different sect.

Lan Xichen, who definitely seemed to have sucked all the pleasant emotions out of his mother’s womb, leaving Lan Wangji with nothing, only smiled. “I assume to ensure my brother will treat his sister right.”

Jin Zixuan frowned. “But Wei Ying doesn’t have—”

Without any remorse, Jiang Cheng stepped on Jin Zixuan’s foot. To his credit, the Peacock didn’t even flinch.

“—doesn’t have a brother who seems well behaved enough to attest these matters.”

The safe was good enough that Jiang Cheng didn’t step on his foot again despite his terrible and insulting excuse.

9.

Lan Wangji was an absolute riot to tease and make fun of. Wei Wuxian hadn’t had that much entertainment since he helped the newest disciples hide a whole batch of kittens in his room. They’d been discovered in the end, but the cooks had been glad for the cats running around the compound, getting rid of the mice by then.

But it was nice to spend time with his peers too without having to watch his words all the time, making crude jokes or just being around somebody without having anyone ring for a chaperone of some kind.

Okay, Jiang Cheng still hovered, but that was because his brother cared.

And it wasn’t like Jiang Cheng wasn’t making himself useful.

“Elbow up!” Wei Wuxian cheered as Jiang Cheng fixed Wen Ning’s posture. Wei Wuxian was going to do it himself, but Jiang Cheng had swiftly taken over that duty, leaving Wei Wuxian to sit with Nie Huaisang.

Truly, he’d miss this once he returned to Lotus Pier.

Or maybe he could leave for a while, go night hunting on his own, continue living up to his curtesy name before he’d eventually have to turn it in again, leave it only in his siblings’ mouth.

10.

Perhaps, as it occurred to Jiang Cheng in the morning, half-hangover, they should have taken Wei Wuxian aside to practice living as a man. Wei Wuxian was bold enough that his shameless behavior passed as that of an arrogant youth, but Wei Wuxian hadn’t ever really had the ability to live as Jiang Cheng. Although his brother was more advanced than him in cultivation, his lessons were cut short to learn the manners of a young lady alongside their sister. And while Lotus Pier didn’t go as far as the Cloud Recesses to separate the complexes, Wei Wuxian had never been surrounded just by men.

Maybe, Jiang Cheng thought as they stumbled to punishment, his brother wouldn’t have smuggled alcohol into the dorms and gotten roaring drunk if they’d sneaked away before the lectures and allowed him to indulge.

Or, Jiang Cheng thought as the first strike landed, Wei Wuxian would’ve acted just the same.

11.

Before this year’s lecture had started, Lan Wangji was doing fine. Now his entire life had been interrupted by Wei Wuxian. The other boy was so keen on bonding with him and distinguishing his character that he hardly left Lan Wangji alone, dragging him into his foolish endeavors.

To his horror, the more time Lan Wangji spent with Wei Wuxian, the more did his thoughts go to him even when Lan Wangji was alone. Everything Lan Wangji wanted to know about Wei Wuxian was entirely inappropriate, not the thoughts someone ought to have about their betrothed’s brother.

“Give me your ribbon!” Wei Wuxian hissed, arms wrapped tight around himself. “It’ll stop the attacks.”

A better fiancé would hesitate, at least for another moment, but Lan Wangji was a coward who couldn’t even admit the truth to himself.

He wrapped his ribbon around Wei Wuxian’s wrist, the weight of the action entirely unknown to Wei Wuxian. Engaged as he was, Lan Wangji couldn’t even honor it privately. He’d have to tell Wei Ying and tell her that even if her brother praised Lan Wangji’s ‘impeccable’ behavior, he was far from honorable.

Everything else would be improper.

12.

After they’d dealt with the Yin Iron.

He’d write his letter after they dealt with that.

His ancestor’s message and warning seemed a little direr than Lan Wangji’s own doomed heart.

13.

For the first time in years, Jiang Yanli did not spend most of her time with Wei Wuxian. They’d shared a room as little children, Wei Wuxian staying with her for a smidge longer than he should have. After, her parents probably thought that her influence could tame her brother and turn him into a proper young lady.

She’d probably failed on that account in their eyes, but seeing him now, with twice as much energy, laughing louder than anyone else, she couldn’t consider it a failure in her eyes.

“Shijie—” Wei Wuxian looked outraged.

Jiang Yanli knew her brother well, he wouldn’t let Jin Zixuan’s words be, and they couldn’t afford him causing a scene now for multiple reasons.

Her mother wasn’t a role model she wanted to emulate most of the time, but this once, she straightened her back and held her head just as high.

“Go with A-Cheng, A-Xian,” she told her brother. “I think Jin-gongzi and I have to talk.”

14.

She didn’t cry until she was back in her room, escorted by Mianmian, who deserved so much better than having to handle her. In the Jiang quarters, her disciples and friends surrounded her. There, Jiang Yanli allowed herself to cry.

Jin Zixuan didn’t love her, didn’t want her, and what right did she have to protest when staging to break her brother’s engagement?

How terrible that Wei Wuxian had found a friend in a stranger he’d been terrified to meet when she hadn’t gained even that.

15.

There was a stupid comment on Jiang Cheng’s tongue when Wei Wuxian dressed in his old clothes and tossed another set to him, but under cover of night, hurrying to their sister’s room in disguise wasn’t that bad of a plan.

And if seeing them both dressed up made her laugh, then that was really only a bonus.

16.

After a whole year at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian was, admittedly, not really closer to breaking his engagement. But maybe if he now fessed up to Lan Wangji that he was, indeed, his fiancée in disguise, perhaps he’d be so disgusted at Wei Wuxian’s shameless behavior that he’d call for its end.

So really, Wei Wuxian couldn’t consider the year a waste when he’d made a few friends more and learned how to wrap his bandages himself because, as funny as Jiang Cheng’s face had been the first couple of times, his brother took forever.

He’d get around to ending his engagement some time in the future. Right now, everyone was too busy eyeing the movement of the Wen anyway to think of marriage.

Nodding to himself, Wei Wuxian grabbed a brush and left his brother a quick note.

If he wasted any more time, he wouldn’t be able to catch up to Lan Wangji before it got dark. Honestly, what was he thinking going away by himself as if Lan Yi hadn’t given the task to the both of them?

Wei Wuxian grabbed his hastily packed supplies and vanished from the Cloud Recesses.

Jiang Cheng would think of an excuse to present his parents.

Wei Wuxian had the utmost faith in him.

#wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #mdzs fanfic #fanfic #chapter 1 here we go #manifesting this to be less than 4 chapters <3

[yumemiruuuu]

“2ha moments that tainted my mind like how the Flower of Everlasting Hatred tainted his heart”

Part One because there is NO WAY that I will not have any more thoughts after re-reading and reading volume 5 like what the fuck, what the actual fuck.

“Chu Wanning, watch me fuck you to death”

Butterfly Town corpse procession where they both switched places and STILL ended up getting paired up and “married off” together, like just fucking kiss already LAWD.

The way Chu Wanning LITERALLY HAS THEM IN HIS ARMS???? WITH TIANWEN IN HIS OTHER HAND??? BECAUSE HE LITERALLY LOOKS OUT FOR THEM????? AND PROTECTS THEM???????? anyways, I love Chu Wanning. Chu Wanning my beloved. He is literally so gorgeous and I don’t care what everyone says in that universe about him because like if I saw him, I would literally also pull off a Mo Ran and beg for him to be my shizun.

The Xia Sini arc. That’s it. Literally my favorite arc, I WILL NOT fucking shut up about it. That arc healed something in me if you exclude the murder mysteries slasher movie elements to it. Ask me about it and I will answer every single one of your questions including the meaning of life.

MengMeng. Just… MengMeng because he occupies 28% of my thoughts following closely to Jiang Cheng who occupies 37%.

“Ah, JIANGUI!!” and then everyone clapped.

The Lake Jincheng moment when they get drugged and put to sleep and Mo Ran having that incredibly vivid dream about Chu Wanning getting violated by someone else and so he’s enraged and is like “I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO VIOLATE CHU WANNING”??? Like, what the hell was that?? Actually, what the hell was that whole Lake Jincheng arc????

On the topic of the Lake Jincheng arc, that whole bit with Xue Meng and him getting crushed over the fact that not only does he NOT get a holy weapon because everything was a lie, but also the fact that his previously orphaned nephew who came from such… horrible background got the only remaining true holy weapon?? I felt his pain so hard, dude. Like, Xue Meng, I feel you. I understand your pain.

This:

Shi Mei feeling up Mo Ran because he wasn’t paying attention to him and was being extra nice to Chu Wanning instead???? Like… what??? Can’t you be normal please???? I’m so sorry, I genuinely dislike the “sweet like honey” type characters because they always turn out to be assholes and I just can’t trust them maybe it’s also trauma and my trust issues but like goddamn Mo Ran literally have bad tastes if he liked Shi Mei I’m so sorry for saying this

Mo Ran having SUCH anxiety with his food to the point that he would literally WOLF IT DOWN in less than a day, and anything else, he hides because he’s so used to having his things taken away from him, and the relief he felt when Chu Wanning told him that there’s no need to rush because there’s always more for him when they’re eating together and just… brb I am genuinely going to cry.

The chapter title change from “This Venerable One…” to “Shizun, Won’t You Pay Attention To Me, Please Pay Attention To Me.”

Chu Wanning not knowing how to react to Mo Ran (seemingly) suddenly manifesting in front of him: “who the fuck is this child and where did he come from” ←this is totally a canon quote

“…he came with a low guttural roar.”

Mo Ran’s pronunciation guide

Anything beyond this point is Volumes 3/4 Spoilers so…

You’ve been warned (lol)

I am never getting over looking up Yuwu and 2ha connections, ONLY TO COME BACK FROM GETTING SPOILED THAT CHU WANNING IS MADE FROM WOOD?????

On a similar note, I was looking up Nangong Si because I wanted to see official art of him and found out that not only A) does he die (I actually went through a whole bit of copium this morning in the shower ober this because I randomly remembered it and was like “no he doesn’t… wait… does he… noo.. no… nooo…) but also B) Ye Wangxi is a female????

Now that I know about Chu Wanning literally being carved from wood, I can’t stop agonizing over Chu Wanning’s thoughts where he would compare his features to someone like… say, Shi Mei. How pained must it feel for him to have these thoughts knowing that he was MADE BY HAND. The facial features on him such as nose, jawline, chin… EVERYTHING was deliberately carved to look that way. That would honestly fuck me up so badly, especially since I also have my grievances about my appearance.

Although,,, to be honest, I actually don’t know if Chu Wanning is even aware of his own origins but IF HE DID, it probably fucks him up a ton. And I agonize over this every. single. day. Oh god, I just also remembered the part where Mo Ran specifically says to him: “Chu Wanning, are you made of wood?” Ohhh OHHHH OUCHIEEEE. VERY. OUCHIEEE.

Another thing that drove me insane is the scene in volume 3 (I’m pretty sure?) with the wontons where Mo Ran is narrating and lamenting over how he couldn’t remember what his shizun’s expression looked like when he shoved off the wontons Chu Wanning made… because he just…. couldn’t care less….. and just…. Knowing that Chu Wanning was the one who has been making Mo Ran’s wontons this entire time knowing that he would like them?? I literally CANNOT even begin to imagine the types of expressions that he could have possibly been making.

Just… like… Imagine being Chu Wanning, and you care SO MUCH about Mo Ran to the point that you are willing to sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of his happiness knowing that he likes your other disciple that is “much better looking”, and despite that, go out of your way to make him spicy wontons, even though you are not that good at making food AND dislike spicy foods. And then you make his favorite food to try to get him to cheer up even a little bit when one of your disciples (and your crush’s crush) dies and you proooobably blame yourself for it and not only does he essentially say “fuck you and your food” but he blames you and basically tells you that you’re a horrible person (which you most likely already blame yourself for and agonize over so now it also feels like someone else is confirming your sense of guilt) . Like, I would NOT be okay after that. I’m usually good at not showing my feelings but this would truly devastate me and fuck me up a lot to the point that I wouldn’t even know what to do.

#that’s all I could squeeze out from my brain at the moment but like I can assure you there’s probably more #every time I think about this series I get so upset knowing that there are people out there who knows the entire story and yet I DONT #time skip to april 23rd pls 🤨🤨🤨 like this is a literal hate crime #the number of times that I would get the 2ha brainrot and get spoiled accidentally DRIVES JE INSANE #BUT ITS NOT LIKE I CANT NOT LOOK UP 2HA STUFF BECAUSE LIKE THEN I WOULD BE AGONIZING #Im agonizing either way #the dumb husky and his white cat shizun #the husky and his white cat shizun #2ha #erha #erha he ta de bai mao shizun #二哈和的白貓師尊 #mo ran #chu wanning #chu STANNING fr #bless xue meng and his heart

[simplydnp]

part of the joy is not knowing but i like making predictions so here are gamingmas 2023 videos:

(EDITED DAY 12)

Fairly confident:

devan wedding: phil said this year! our predictions have been the 24th

pinof 4-6 reaction: at minimum we will see this one. the others have me Stressed cause then there's only a few days between each and i already can't believe the first was uploaded at all let alone 5 days ago

it takes two part 2: similar to above, they either finish it in gamingmas or just do the second and finish it later. these ones are long to record and edit

another dan vs phil: not sure what it would be, but at minimum one more they played fall guys as a dvp!

(new) poppy playtime new game? they said it releases december 2023 so if it launches pre-xmas we might see it

Please if you love me:

festive day in the life 2023: an updated version of one of the most iconic videos ever. we know they have their tree! but they usually post pictures of it by now... unless it's a spoiler.

christmas baking: admittedly a lot less likely than fditl, but christmas sweaters? antlers? gingerbread houses are quaking

amazingdan reaction: more likely than i'd like to admit given phil's direct reference in the powerwash video

if we say all of these (which is unlikely given that i don't think they'll just become an 'it takes two' channel and it has 7 chapters) we'd have: 13. which, is exactly how many days of gamingmas is left at time of posting. do with that what you will.

^ two days after posting they've ruined that so howsabouts we try again: i'm tentatively going 6. i think the pinof reactions will be a december thing. #ad revenue, so 3 more of those if they keep in 3s. + devan wedding. + it takes two 2 + fditl (i am Manifesting so hard)

#am i making this to tempt the greek god apollo? who's to say #dnp #c.text #dan and phil #i did get one thing right! #(my most bland and safe prediction)

[multi-fandomfuckboy]

Stranger Than Fiction

Part 3: Foundations

Billy Hargrove x Reader (Slowburn)

Part 1, ...(Masterlist)... Part 4

A/N: Another day another chapter!! I am really knocking them out!! I hope you guys are enjoying the sweet sweet slow burn. We are building a little foundation between Billy and reader in this chapter.

Word Count: 1,697

Warnings: Swearing

In the weeks following your first encounter, you would see Billy around more often. You would see his car parked in various places around town while you were out walking. You noticed that while most of the time he was alone, he would sometimes be with an older man. 

More often than not you would see his car speeding past you on the roads around Hawkins, always driving at an unreasonably fast speed. You could hear his loud engine and blasting music from a mile away. Since that day, you had become more aware of letting your mind wander when you were out walking. Not wanting a repeat of your near death experience. He wouldn’t speak to you again until nearly a week after you first met. It was a short conversation, no less hostile than the first.  

Sitting under the shade of a large oak tree near the edge of Hawkin’s small town centre, you wrote in your journal. The words flowed across the lined pages, slowly painting the dark picture in your mind. The writing starkly contrasted with the light summer atmosphere surrounding you. While kids laughed, enjoying the sunshine in the park across from you, the story on your page depicted them cowering from demonic forces. 

In the story you were currently working on, the haunting creature had become the manifestation of evil, stalking the children. Picking them off one by one.

You are fully engrossed in your writing when a strong kick to the bench you’re sitting on startles you. Your wide eyes look up to see a familiar predatory grin. 

Billy.

“You really need to pay more attention.” He chides, looking down at you. His foot is still resting next to you on the bench where he had kicked it. He looks similar to the first time you had seen him. He was wearing a different t-shirt, but otherwise he looked the same. 

Your heart is still racing in your chest, but you meet his gaze evenly. 

“I, personally, think that you need to pay less attention…” Your hand swiftly shoves his leather boot off the bench. He stumbles for a split second, but quickly stands upright. “To me, specifically.” you finish, turning your gaze back to your journal.

He seems to take your response as some type of challenge because he takes a seat next to you. He’s sitting far closer than you would like but not sitting close enough to actually touch you. You can smell his cologne when he lifts his arm to rest behind your shoulders on the back of the bench. He smelt musky, like the wet earth after a storm. 

“How can I not pay attention to a body like yours” He purrs, looking you up and down. His tone would normally sound smooth but to you it sounded unbearably fake. You roll your eyes at the blatant attempt at flattery. 

“Oh please! Is that what passes for a pick-up line in California?” you ask, looking up to him, exasperated. “Tell me, champ, how often does that work?” His gaze remains steady on yours as he shrugs his shoulders, leaning in slightly closer.

“You’d be surprised.” He replies smirking, sending you a quick wink. You are struck for a moment. He is very handsome when you aren’t taking into account his obvious knowledge of that fact. 

“Oh trust me, I’m surprised. Surprised you feel no shame about how corny this all is.” you reply smoothly. His brows begin to draw together, eyes narrowing on you as he realises his flirtations are getting him nowhere. The tense lines settle back into his face. 

“If I were you, I would take the compliments where you can get them.” he bites spitefully. 

“Impressive! Compliment me in one line, insult me in the next. I’m now surprised you don't have whiplash!” You shoot back. You think you can see a crack in his carefully constructed mask with the flex in the muscle of his jaw. You were getting to him.

“It comes with practice.” he responds, schooling his expression. You narrow your eyes trying to figure out exactly why he is talking to you. Finding nothing in his sharp features, you turn back to your writing. The train of thought you had been running with had been effectively derailed by Billy’s appearance. You try to ignore his presence next to you, reading over the last paragraph you had written, hoping to jumpstart your pen. 

“How’d you know I was from California?” Billy’s voice once again disrupts your thoughts. You reply as if it were the simplest thing in the world, keeping your eyes on your page. 

“It’s on your tags. I made an intuitive leap.” you explain. You hear him hum in response. There is another moment of silence. Thinking the conversation was finished you tried to gather your thoughts again. 

“I’ve seen you walking a lot.” His voice cuts in. Sighing, frustrated, you close your journal with a snap. There was no way you were going to get any more writing done with him here.

“And you’re about to see it again.” You say, shoving your journal back in your bag and standing up. Billy moves to stand, quickly following after you. You begin walking back into town, planning on taking the long way back to your house. Billy walks along, one step behind you, his long legs easily keeping up with you. 

“I’m just curious about where exactly you're always walking to.” Billy tries again, craning his neck to try and see your face as you continue striding forward. 

“It’s this interesting place called “None-ya”. As in, “none of your business”.” You respond terse, your grip tightening on the straps of your bag.

“Just thought you might know something interesting to do in this shithole of a town.” Billy comments, glancing contemptuously at the small shop fronts around you.

The insult to your home town stung slightly. You grew up here. A lot of terrible things may have happened to you here, but also some of the greatest. This is where you met Barb and Nancy. Where the three of you spent your weekends at the theatre or shopping in the square. 

You stop on your heels, Billy nearly running into your back. Turning, you face him directly, your eyes meeting his surprised gaze. Despite being shorter than him, you tried to stand tall. 

“If you’re so dead set on hating this place, all you are ever going to feel is angry.” you say firmly. “If I were you, I would try to find the good in it… no matter how small it may be.” you continue. His face remains set in stone, one eyebrow slightly quirked as his eyes study your face. You're not sure why you said it. Maybe it was more for yourself than for him. You had spent a lot of time dwelling on the darkness inside of yourself. Sometimes it was hard for you to see the good still left in the world. 

Billy remains silent, his eyes on yours, like he was searching for something there. Standing this close to him you could see the little flecks of green in the blue of his eyes. Once again, you are reminded of the ocean. 

“Billy!” A male voice thunders. Turning, you see a man across the street carrying supplies out of the hardware store. “Get your ass over here and help me!” he yells, adjusting his hold on the bags in his arms. You hear Billy exhale sharply, glancing at him you see the muscle in his jaw flex again. You can't be sure, but you think he seems more tense than he was a moment ago. 

“Whatever, loca.” He mumbles, taking a step away. “I’ll see you around. '' he adds before jogging across the street to help the man. You assume it’s his father based on the resemblance. It’s slight, but you can see it.

You watch as Billy takes one of the bags, his father saying something to him. You couldn’t make out the words but he looked angry, talking down to Billy as they loaded the bags into the trunk. Billy keeps his head down, but the tension in his frame is unmistakable. 

You suddenly become uncomfortable watching the interaction. They were strangers and you had no previous knowledge of their relationship dynamic. It wasn’t your place.

After that day, you did in fact see Billy more. Almost everyday on your walks you came across him. Most of the time he would see you walking along the side of the road and would slow down enough to speak to you out of the window as he cruised next to you. They were never particularly long interactions. He would always ask you where you were heading and you would tell him the general vicinity of where you were heading or sometimes you would tell him you weren’t sure yet. 

Once or twice he asked you for directions or what store he could find certain supplies in. Through the short conversations you were able to deduce that he was here with his father looking for a place to live.

He never spoke to you when his father was with him. You could always tell because when you would hear his car approaching it wouldn't slow next to you, instead it would cruise by at a speed more reasonable that you would normally see Billy driving. Or if you were passing through town he would meet your eyes for only an instant before turning his gaze away. Sometimes he would outright ignore you if you passed the two of them on the street.

It didn't bother you. If anything, it made you curious. Everything about Billy was loud. The car, the music, the hair, the conversations. It was all chaos. But when his father was around it was like someone threw a thick blanket over a boom box, smothering the noise. It was interesting to see, if not a little unsettling. 

The two of you would continue like this for the next three weeks. Then in the last week of August you had a conversation that would change the way you saw Billy.

Part 1, ...(Masterlist)... Part 4

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying the story! Leave a like and a comment! I have the next part already written just need to type it up.

Tag-list: @official-starcourt-mall @lem0ns77 @bethii1 @wysteria-arts

#billy harringrove #imagine #reader insert #billy hargove x reader #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove #billy stranger things #x reader #billy x y/n #dustin henderson #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #steve harrington my beloved #harringrove #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #billy x you #billy x reader #stranger things reader insert #stranger things imagine #stranger things s4 #stranger things #stranger things x y/n #stranger things season 4 #stranger things headcanons #st4 #eleven #jane hopper #will byres

[elmaxlys]

Vol 1 - The bonus cover strips (2/2)

(reminder that this was translated by the same person)

Also! I said it a while ago but forgot to remind it on the first post: Sugiki uses "vous" (formal you) to speak to Suzuki while Suzuki uses "tu" (informal you) to speak to Sugiki.

Also, once more, 2015 is more zoomed it, cutting out some details, such as Sugiki's mouth in the last panel or half of Fusako's head in panel 4.

Panel 1

2015: (Suzuki speaking) Profites-en pour lui demander aussi le sens de ce mot ! "B*te" qu'y a-t-il donc sous cette étoile ?

(Take the opportunity to ask her the meaning of this word as well! "D*ck" what could be under that star?)

2020: (Sugiki speaking) Il y a un autre mot qui m'intrigue. Pourriez-vous me l'expliquer ? "Paquet" Je présume qu'en contexte, il ne s'agit pas d'un colis emballé ?

(There's another word that's intriguing me. Could you explain it to me? "Package" I'm assuming that, in context, it doesn't refer to a parcel?)

So this is. Incredible. A change of speaker always change a lot of things, but as we know, Sugiki speaks very politely. I don't really know how that manifests in Japanese but I'm assuming the speaker can be easily identified in the original.

I am guessing it's actually Suzuki since he's holding his phone and showing it to Sugiki.

However, the "joke" takes a completely different turn in later panels and I have to say while the fact that Sugiki goes to ask other people (2015) makes more sense, the meaning of the rest of the page makes a lot more sense in 2020. Unless it's. A bit of slang I also have never heard of. But I'm struggling to see Fusako and Martha (that's Martha, right?) straight up lying to him.

Let's see below.

Panel 2

Suzuki is speaking with sparkles on his face

2015: Elle te le dira, va.

(She'll tell you. Go on.)

2020: Tu me demandes de t'apprendre un truc ? A moi ? Trop bien !

(You're asking me to teach you something? Me? Awesome!)

2015 is Suzuki going on with his "joke" while 2020 is reminiscent of chapter 2 when Sugiki compliments him and he goes all happy for a while and the whole "Suzuki wants to feel superior to Sugiki" thing.

Panel 3

Kanda speaking

2015: C'est pour ça que je veux que vous arrêtiez de voir Suzuki-san !! Fusako, dis-lui quelque chose, bon sang !!

(That's why I want you (either formal or plural) to see Suzuki-san!! Fusako, say something, dammit!!)

2020: Je vous ai déjà dit que Suzuki-san avait des fréquentations peu recommandables ! Ne mêlez pas Fusako à ce genre de délinquant, s'il vous plaît !

(I already told you (formal) that Suzuki-san hangs with dubious people! Don't make Fusako associate with that kind of delinquent, please!)

In one, Kanda could be speaking to both, in the other, he's clearly talking to Sugiki. 2015 Kanda is angrier than 2020 Kanda, and also way less polite! How did it go from "bon sang" to "please"? Julie Minchin, if you see this, please tell me, this is such an interesting change.

Panel 4

2015: Fusako: C'est un "u" et cela décrit un organe sexuel. Sugiki: "u"... Kanda: C'est un monde ! Suzuki-sensei ne lui apprend que de vilains mots... Hein ? Un "u" ?!

(Fusako: It's "u" and it describes a sexual organ. - Sugiki: "u"... - Kanda: What a world! Suzuki-sense only teaches him dirty words... Huh? A "u"?!)

2020: Fusako: C'est une sorte de métaphore pour parler de l'appareil génital. Sugiki: "Paquet" Kanda: Franchement, Suzuki-san a un langage beaucoup trop fleuri... Tant de familiarité...!

(Fusako: It's a metaphor to talk about genitals. - Sugiki: "Package" - Kanda: Honestly, Suzuki-san's way of talking is way too vulgar... Such rudeness...!)

So I guess it confirms that Suzuki is supposed to be the one talking in panel 1, as he indeed goes to ask Fusako.

However, 2015 Fusako straight up lies to him, saying "u" instead of "i", which Kanda notes, while 2020 Fusako properly explains it to him.

Also, 2015 Kanda goes back and forth between -san and -sensei for Suzuki, which is weird.

Panel 5:

Martha speaking

2015: Pour un homme, on dit : "T'as une grosse bute* !" C'est aussi un compliment.

(To a man, it's said: "You have a big mound*!" It can also be a compliment.)

* "bute" spelled with only one t means either a tool used by farriers or a guillotine. The one meaning "mound" is "butte" with two t.

2020: Les hommes vont souvent l'utiliser pour dire qu'ils ont "un gros paquet". En revanche, c'est argotique, et les femmes l'utilisent moins.

(Men will often use it to say they have a "big package". That being said, it's slang and women don't tend to use it.)

In 2015, Sugiki probably asks her about Fusako's explanation about the "u" to make "bute" instead of "bite". However the way she answers doesn't make any sense, unless she's making it all up as she goes just not to teach him about the word "dick"

Panel 6

Martha speaking

2015: Le premier : "ton organe sexuel me fait de l'ombre telle une jolie bute* fleurie." Et le second : "ton organe sexuel est pareil à une magnifique bute* fleurie." Vous avez compris ? Sugiki's thoughts: Une bien jolie bute*...

(The first one: "your organ gives me shade like a beautiful mound*." And the second one: "your organ is like a beautiful flowery mound*." Do you (formal) understand? - Sugiki's thoughts: A very pretty mound*...)

*again with the orthography mistake on bute/butte

2020: De façon générale... ça a un sens souvent positif pour la personne concernée... mais ça ne s'utilise plus beaucoup. Toutefois, ça reste moins vulgaire que d'autres mots... Sugiki's thoughts: "un gros paquet"...

(In general... this is often meant in a positive way for the concerned person... but it's not used much nowadays. However, it says less vulgar than some other words... - Sugiki's thoughts: "a big package"...)

Again, 2015 Martha's explanation doesn't make any sense? Unless it's actually real slang that I've never seen before?? Like, a mound could potentially be used but in French, as far as I know it is not used. I've searched around a bit (lol haha bite *is shot*) and couldn't find anything recording such a use. It is an anagram for teub, which is bite in verlan but that seems a tad farfetched.

2020 Martha gives the truth and is actually informative about paquet, about its usage and vulgarity level etc.

The sense of both these explanations come directly from the initial word asked and how it's asked but it certainly doesn't paint the same character for the various people involved: Fusako and Martha are painted as bullshitters in 2015 and in a complete opposite way in 2020.

Pretty interesting if you ask me!

#if anyone has any other translation in any language i am all ears anytime and always #10 dance translations #10 dance

[little-tyrant-gortash]

Oathbreaker

Pairing: fem!Tav x Enver Gortash, fem!Tav/Astarion

Tags: Emotional Manipulation, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Paladin Tav (Baldur's Gate), Vaginal Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Drunk Sex, Unrequited Love, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Scars, Blood and Injury, Injury, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Torture, Psychological Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture

Word count: 1,827

Ao3 here.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4.

Chapter 5.

Chapter 6.

Chapter 7.

Chapter 8.

Chapter 9.

Chapter 10.

Chapter 11.

Chapter 12.

Chapter 13.

Chapter 14.

Chapter 15.

Chapter 16.

Chapter 17.

Chapter 18. ⬇

Chapter 19.

Chapter 18: Promises, Promises

Fancy seeing you here, my dear, Astarion purred in her mind, almost making her recoil. Memories she suppressed for so long bubbled up behind her mind's eye: the way he stared down at her when he… You look delicious in this dress. I could just… devour you.

A pale looking girl now shifted beside him. Tav's eyes shifted on her face; not even the makeup could hide the deep dark under her eyes, the dryness of her lips. She looked heavily dehydrated as she snaked a hand around Astarion's left bicep. He gave no sign of even noticing it.

It seemed he had a new leaking blood bag he could sip from time to time. A decorative doll, dressed in an expensive looking – but still plain –, rather revealing dress; making Tav realise a major difference between how Gortash dressed her and how Astarion clothed his partner. While the dress on Tav had lace on her back, which made it a bit revealing, it was mostly covered with the golden dragon embroidery - as if she was protected by it. Given the fact Gortash had the same golden dragons stitched on his leather coat, it wasn't hard to understand the symbolism. He protected her. The front hadn't had a deep cut-out, either; she looked elegant, regal, even, just like him - showing the world he truly considered her his equal.

The girl's dress though, had been made of the finest dark red silk, but it lacked decoration. It had a deep cut-out both on her front, right down almost to her belly button, and deep down on the back, too. As Tav sized her up, she thought she'd never put this dress on, especially not if she were to be in the company of society's highest. It was too revealing. She also wondered if the girl even seen seventeen winters. Her expression was neutral, but her eyes looked a little bloodshot. From crying or from her twisted sleeping schedule from living with a vampire, Tav couldn't decide. Poor child, Tav thought, he has his claws deep in her, too.

Astarion's attention shifted back to Gortash, who, in turn, kept his eyes on the vampire. Thankfully, Gortash had been blessed with incredible intelligence. Thus, when Astarion held his hand out for him to take and introduced himself, the name rang a bell instantly in the depths of his mind. Given the fact he'd heard the beginning of his name spoken to Tav a few times, always stopping before it was uttered completely, and the way he felt that Tav went completely rigid on his side already told him a tale; he could deduce, in less than five seconds, that these two had history.

Given her past reactions to the name itself, very bad history.

His Paladin who'd seen and fought the Apostle of Myrkul, perhaps the world's strongest manifestation of power just after the Elder Brain, who'd seen horrors beyond anyone's imagination – was afraid of a man.

His own reaction to this was fascinating. Sensing that Tav was afraid of this man made Gortash extra cautious; a part of him wishing he could remove her from the ball immediately, to secure her and to get answers. But he couldn't do any of that now, not yet. Her fingers trembled under his right hand, and he applied pressure to the back of her hand to let her know that he was there, that he would protect her at all costs. He wished he could tell her that Astarion wouldn't dare to lay a finger on her in his presence; that if she thought that Astarion was dangerous, then she hadn't known him at all, because it'd take a snap of his fingers and the pale elf would be ripped apart in mere minutes.

Alas… Gortash was not aware what he was dealing with. None of them did. And that was a hilariously major drawback.

"It is an honour, Your Grace", the girl on Astarion's side bowed her head to Gortash with a curtsy, and Enver momentarily gave her his attention.

"The honour is all mine", he replied cautiously, making Astarion smirk, which caused a shiver to run down Tav's spine.

"We've been thoroughly enjoying ourselves, Your Grace", Astarion addressed Gortash again, and his eyes found Tav's for a split second once more.

I see you've been a busy bee, darling. You've rejected me, but moved on to the next most powerful man of Baldur's Gate? I didn't think you had it in you. I'm almost… impressed.

Tav couldn't even muster her willpower to answer him through their shared connection. She was as pale as a ghost by now, and the only thing that grounded her was Gortash's arm and hand.

"I'm glad you do", Gortash still sounded cautious.

"Perhaps you should host these events more often", Astarion chuckled quietly, and now, he didn't move his attention away from the other.

I wonder how his blood tastes like, the vampire purred again, and that gave her the push to finally snap back.

I've broken my Oath of Vengeance for him, her voice, even just in their minds, was shaking. But only for the first few words. What makes you think I wouldn't break your spine if you tried to hurt him?

"Perhaps I will", Gortash nodded.

Astarion chuckled. Tav couldn't decide if he was laughing at her, or at Gortash's reaction.

Thank you for letting me know that he's this important to you. I'll keep that in mind.

No. No. No. Panic and bile was rapidly rising in her chest and stomach.

Ah, I hear your heartbeat, racing as fast as a little rabbit's, Astarion noted, I've always loved to hear your heart race like this… because of me. Hmm… it's making me want to make him bleed even more.

Touch him and I will kill you.

"Please, Your Grace, do invite me again", Astarion mused, bowing his head to Gortash, "I'd hate to miss out on anything important that happens in Baldur's Gate."

His eyes shifted back on her with a flash of warning in his crimson gaze.

Oh, darling… you can die trying.

And with that, he left with the girl still glued to his arm.

Tav could finally breathe again. The panic had her entire chest in unbearable pain. Unconsciously, she shifted even closer to Gortash, who glanced at her as soon as Astarion turned his back on them. The golden arm piece was unyielding on his arm, but he could feel that her hand was gripping him as tightly as she was able to. Judging by her blown pupils and ragged breaths, he knew he had to get her out of there fast.

So he did. She noticed the cool air on the balcony first; then, his hands, as they were rubbing cirlces against her palms. The last time it helped, and it helped now, too. He was talking, she could hear his voice, but what he had said was lost to her for quite a while.

"I'm- I'm sorry", her voice was shaking as she spoke, but at least she reacted to him and the events. "I don't… I don't know what… came… over me…"

"It's alright. You don't have to apologize. Just breathe, alright? Slow." His gentle words and thumbs rubbing her palms helped a lot, but as soon as her eyes met his, she was shaking from fear and desperation. "Tav, it's alright. We're alright. You are safe. Both of us are."

But for how long? How long before Astarion crept up to his window at night to kill him? How long until she learned of his sudden, gruesome death – for doing something she thought was right? The mere thought of Enver dying had her spin into total panic.

I can't lose him, she realised. If I lose him, I'll lose my mind with him.

"Tav", Gortash's voice sounded more firm than the last time. "Breathe slower for me. Focus. Look", he raised his gaze and she followed it. The night sky was lit up by the stars and the waning moon. "It'll pass if you let it. Don't hold onto it." He shifted closer to her, moving one of his hands on her back to rub it gently. She took a shaking breath, staring at the moon. Her hands grabbed his other arm, her knuckles went white with the effort. "Slow", he kissed her temple and she obeyed. The pain slowly ebbed. "Good girl", he whispered in her ear, making her shiver. "That's it. Slow. Let it pass."

She took a deep breath and sighed, turning back to him to hide her face against his chest. He held her gently.

"I'm not a girl", Tav murmured, making him chuckle.

"But you like it when I call you a good girl, aren't you?"

She wanted to squirm. He was doing this on a purpose, and she loved and hated that it had an effect on her.

"I was right."

"About what?"

"You really are the worst."

"You wound me, dearest. I'm always doing my best for you."

Tav breathed him in; the scent of his soap, the shirt, the scent of leather and gold of his coat.

"You need higher security", she mumbled.

"Why exactly?"

She bit her lower lip before she pulled away from him to look in his eyes.

"Because my previous partner wants to kill you."

Well. That would explain why she reacted the way she did.

"How do you know?"

"He has a tadpole like mine", she admitted, looking away. "I share a psychic connection with him, just as I do with the others. He kept talking to me while he spoke to you."

Gortash needed a moment to absorb that.

"How long have you known him?"

"A couple of months…" Tav was reluctant to speak about Astarion, but she knew she'd need to, eventually. "Met him after I got my… intruder… after the Nautiloid crash. We've been travelling together, trying to find a cure."

That stab of jealousy didn't feel good. Months. Astarion had months with her on his side. How could he screw up so badly that he lost her? He had to know, so he wouldn't make the same mistake.

"It all ended shortly after we entered Baldur's Gate", she continued, leaving out most of the details for now. She couldn't bear to talk about all the manipulation Astarion put her through, the midnight surprises, the constant feeling of bloodloss. No. This should suffice for now. "He's grown incredibly powerful while he was with me. Don't underestimate him. He's unpredictable and way too strong."

"Why did you leave him?"

Tav's eyes darted all around. She looked up at the stars, praying for strength. She couldn't tell him. Not now. She'd risk Gortash going after him if he knew.

"He hurt me, Enver." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but even that was enough to awaken fury within him. "A lot. Let's leave it at that."

#Oathbreaker #little tyrant [enver gortash] #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg 3 #enver gortash #archduke enver gortash #lord enver gortash #fanfic #Oathbreaker fanfic

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hi sleepy! Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you! Have a wonderful year ahead! While I have been a long time ghost fan, I have to admit that this is the first time I've seen your work and I think it's absolutely fantastic! I would like to ask you four questions. 1- Apart from the usual traits, what was it about the character that drew you to ghost? 2- What inspired you to decide to pair up ghost with jade and how did you come up with her character? 3- How long have you been an artist? 4- Have you considered the possibility of actually writing a proper story about ghost and jade like one with a lot of chapters? Cause I've read your short stories and I think they are marvelous. Keep rocking the artwork and leading an amazing life! I wish you the best!:)

Hello hello! (´ ∀ ` *) Thank you so much!

Apart from the usual traits, what was it about the character that drew you to Ghost?

Well, apart from me having a thing for dark, big grumpy man who covers his identity with a mask, I think he's a very interesting character and leaves much room for fans to explore, specifically in the current rebooted version. Like how his character grows from disliking Soap/just working with others in general because they might hold him back, to finally understanding that he needs his teammates and showing himself to the teammates as the highest form of trust. There's just so much to add there; moments where he slowly opens himself up, where he finally allows other people to come in and know him (because of course the campaign is too short JAKSLSDKFJL). So yeah, the complexity of his character, and the wide room for exploration for character development.

What inspired you to decide to pair up Ghost with Jade and how did you come up with her character?

As I have answered in a few asks before, I just wanna give this man a BIG tight hug and give him a happy ending, and Jade is my manifestation of that. For a man who's literally closed himself to the world other than the moniker "Ghost", who is deemed as a legend and a myth, a soldier who's highly task-oriented, he would keep everyone he knows at arm's length. So I think in order for him to open up, he would need someone special who primarily understands him. Someone who knows what it feels like to be a living weapon and how heavy of a burden it is. Someone who gets him enough to alleviate his burdens and, for once, give him peace of mind. Like who the fuck in the world even knows what that feels like? Who can he share his burdens with? You got it : Jade. I'd like the thought of Jade being a paradox to Ghost, as she's been through a lot of trauma and darkness much like him, but she somehow managed to keep her 'light' - seen on how she treats people (and him), and how she's still as capable and as skillful as him to finish her job, and that's precisely how I want to insert her into the story. Ghost and Jade share that same aspect of working alone and the need to learn that they're not alone - that this person actually understands what the other has been through.

How long have you been an artist?

Hmmm.... if it's in the context of professionally (as in started making money and treating drawing as a serious passion instead of just a hobby), it's since I was 17 years old, so about 3 years. But if the question is more to the 'since when did I start drawing', I've been drawing since I was like 4 years old. It's all I've ever known, it's all I've ever done. So a long time.

Have you considered the possibility of actually writing a proper story about Ghost and Jade like one with a lot of chapters?

Y E S. (★‿★) I am currently writing a 12 parter (probably less, probably more ASKJJDFJASDF) of MWII Ghost x Jade series called "Cold Heart". I have all the outlines deep in my Google Docs! It's basically the MWII campaign story, but add Jade into it, and how she changes things up (and how she and Ghost started to grow close). I just need to write it. Though unfortunately only the prologue is posted (you can find it on my masterlist) as I'm still on my finals exam. But! After my finals are over, I'll immediately jump on the series and write it!

Hope that answers the question, and thank you for asking! (❁´◡`❁)

#sleepy answers #WOOHOO #I just love Ghost so much okay I wanna give him the biggest hug #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw #cod #simon ghost riley #cod mw22 #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #charlotte jade le jardin #ghost x oc #ghost x jade

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

I’ve been quoting a great deal from Sonia Johnson’s Going Out Of Our Minds lately, both on here and irl (my apologies to my very bored friends).

I’ve very nearly finished it, and thought it might be valuable to note the below for anyone thinking of reading it, particularly on the basis of something I’ve quoted from it:

I do not like or agree with this book.

Towards the beginning, there is a very strong chapter (Chapter 3, Women Against Women) on ego clashes between two or more women, the methods women use to tear each other down, why, and how to counter it. Chapter 4 is insightful into the experience of fasting/hunger strikes, and the middle chapters about Johnson’s run for president are interesting too.

But as the book goes on, and works it’s way towards the revelation she references from the first chapter, it becomes increasingly irritating. Johnson wholeheartedly espouses an approach I consider to be fundamentally postmodern - what might now be called manifesting, or the idea that you can ‘think reality different’. The idea that if you think and feel differently about the world and reality, it will change to reflect your thoughts. I disagree with this conception.

I’ve been chewing over why Johnson seems to believe this idea so wholeheartedly, why it makes so much sense to her, and why it leaves me so cold, and I keep coming back to her personal history, of which I know very little save this: that she was Mormon for 40 years.

I think this makes a great deal of sense. I think that the postmodern approach of ‘thinking reality different’, despite its real-world ineffectiveness - or perhaps because of it - is incredibly attractive to the formerly religious. I think this is part of why it’s caught on so entirely in the United States, but is weaker in less faith-based societies. I see very little difference between the idea that changing your attitude to something will change it in reality, and the idea that prayer will fix your problems. The magical thinking necessary for Johnson’s argument does not vibe with this non-believer, any more than other faith-based approaches. I don’t experience the thought process known as ‘belief’ - if you are the same, due warning, this book may not please you any more than it did me.

#gooom

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 284, Replies Part 2

1) “Why Bakugo? You think would suspect that there’s something wrong with the kid that didn’t had a quirk for 15 years then suddenly has super-strength, then less than a year before has energy tentacles and is training to be able to fly? I don’t see aaaaaaanything wrong here, it makes perfect sense his quirk would allow him to do that.”- If the other powers are as flashy and obvious in use as Black Whip, and can’t be subtly used in a fight, like for instance, using Float to get some extra air time mid-leap, then it’s gonna become really obvious really quickly that Izuku actually has multiple powers instead of just a weird singular ability, like everyone else does. And then people are gonna start wondering about him, about how this random powerless kid suddenly got multiple powers out of nowehere. Because the public does have a widespread perception of beings with multiple Quirks, but it’s not that of a hero, but that of the Black servants of villainy, the Nomu. And then people are gonna notice the coincidental timing of how everything started going to shit, starting with the League’s first appearance, right around when Izuku first joined UA. And then people are gonna be thinking “what’s this kid’s connection to the Nomu? Is he secretly a villain spy? Say, wasn’t there talk of a UA traitor some months back…” 2) “Honestly, I would love to see a floating power exploding, can just imagine Midoriya being yeet’s into the sky at mach 5 while people just stare at him getting smaller and smaller at the distance, until finally disappearing like Team Rocket.”- Coincidentally, Izuku’s new ringtone for his phone is “Rocketman”. No, but seriously, they need to be on edge for whenever the laser eyes Quirk starts manifesting, that power can go wrong very fast. 3) “And there ain’t no rest for them, like the songs always warned us about”- All Might never broadcast the information about OFA even after he seemingly killed the man whom the power had been cultivated to defeat. One reason was how personal the whole situation was, but the other, as he somewhat outlined to Izuku during the beginning chapters, is that his condition left him needing to pass his power on, but he didn’t know who to pass it onto. Taking the teaching job at UA wasn’t just to sort out which young student was worthy of the power, it was because only a young, innocent and idealistic child could be trusted to use it in a heroic manner at first. The adults of hero society are too cynical and in many ways concerned with the materialistic over the substance of the job. Even Stain, who shares All Might’s fervour, took that in the opposite direction to become a killer of those he deemed corrupt, showing just how easily those same convictions can be twisted and abused. And if the sheer power of OFA was backing those twisted convictions, then it’s be the second coming of AFO all over again. In many ways, in a world where it doesn’t have the enormous might of AFO to contend against and focus on fighting, OFA is actually a great liability and danger to the wielder than it is an asset. And even if Izuku does eventually overcome Tomura, he’ll still be struggling with the fact that he’s now a marked man for both Villains and heroes who might be hoping for their chance to take OFA for themselves, if they can convince Izuku it’s a good idea. It’s just like Spiderman: Far From Home, really.

4) “Oh, you’re gonna accuse All Might of hiding something? I hope that’s not the case All Might, because we’re way past the point where you should keep secrets.”- Well, in this case, he’s not exactly keeping it a secret, especially since he left evidence that Bakugo picked up on and is fine discussing it with him – it’s specifically Izuku he’s keeping in the dark about it, and that’s because he judges that, quite rightly, Izuku’s simply got so much on his plate that whatever concerns he’s got can wait a while longer until Izuku can better master the powers he does possess. It’s not keeping these secrets hidden forever, it’s merely delaying telling them to Izuku until he’s in a better position to cope with more burdens. 5) “All Might… I can’t believe you’re still doing this shit.

Yeah Yeah sure I bet you’re just ashamed about how Nana died, it probably was your fault and yadda yadda JUST TELL YOUR BOY ABOUT EVERYTHING ALREADY GODDAMMIT”- Well, you’ve had 19+ asks about this, so I won’t add more to the pile. I will just say that, this is the first concrete piece of information we’ve had on the 4th and prior users besides the 1st, as the ones prior to Banjo are those who are right in the Dark Age of Quirks, when AFO’s power was strongest and record keeping was at its worst, meaning there’s arguably very little to find out about them until Izuku can converse with the other vestiges more freely. And the only information we’ve learned is, that the 4th’s death was somehow special than the others’, and it may somehow still have an impact on Izuku himself, despite the gaps between them, which is All Might’s greatest concern. (MHA ch 257) 6) “Oh? Well, I mean, if it was a bit less than 200 years, and there was like, 8 people before Midoriya… Alright, okay, I think now the counting is starting to make sense… But alright, what`s the next quirk on the list? Do tell us, oh venerable All Might, holder of all the knowledge.”- And the minor hint here that there might be more to the deaths of the previous holders than meets the eyes, with All Might’s slight hesitancy about confirming the deaths of every one of the previous holders and the shadowed eyes. The number 4 is traditionally associated with death in Japan, and for some reason, the 4th wielder’s passing was especially noticeable compared to the others… 7) “I can hear the “tsc” of disgusted being uttered by this fucking tsundere. But yet, he didn’t deny it.”- This time, the disgust is aimed at himself, for his inability to fully swallow his pride yet and just apologise to Izuku outright, like some part of him knows he has to, in order to fully atone for his transgressions against him. They made up, but some things still need to be said for the healing to truly begin. 8) “OH HOLY SHIT WE ARE HAVING A MOMENT OF REALIZATION HERE?!

OH MY GOD FINALLY

Alright Bakugo, you’re good on my books. I still hold a grudge for the “jump out of the roof” thing, but I can let bygones be bygones considering you’re finally admitting that you were an asshole.

holy shit this chapter is a goldmine after tall.”- Bakugo always knew that Izuku was naturally more heroic than him, capable of doing the selfless saving deal on instinct that Bakugo had to put effort into, and that rubbed him the wrong way. Not only because it made him feel inferior to Izuku, but also because it’s just not natural for somebody to be that selfless. People are inherently selfish in some manner, for bad and for good reasons, and Izuku being so willing to give of himself without really thinking of the consequences is actually a really bad thing, something that Izuku is naturally blind to, but Bakugo always knew on some level that if he became he hero, he'd not only outshine him, but he’d quickly burn himself out doing it. Perhaps, underneath all the complex and layered emotions in their relationship, some deeply-buried part of Bakugo wanted to protect Izuku from himself when he wanted to make him give up on becoming a hero. As it stands, now Izuku has both the immense power and partial training to enforce his maniac “save everything” willpower into reality, he’s running the risk of eventually turning out like the legend of the Giving Tree, a Tree that gave and gave of itself selflessly for other’s needs until it was naught but a dead and desolate stump. 9) “Of course he doesn’t, it’s Midoriya, he never held that against Bakugo, he always wanted them to go back to being friends, it was I that was the one saying “No! Bad boy! Bad!” and spraying him with a water bottle every time he mentioned something along those lines”- And to fit further into the “endlessly giving” themes, Izuku would freely give out his forgiveness of Bakugo’s past transgressions at any point if it was brought up, whether or not Bakugo had done anything to really earn that forgiveness himself, which is why he’s kept quiet about it all this time, Bakugo doesn’t want Izuku to just plainly accept his apology, he wants to do something for him, that’d make him earn Izuku’s forgiveness for real. It’s refreshing that Bakugo’s stubborn pride is for once being used to justify why he and Izuku haven’t really made up for the right reasons – he won’t let himself be forgiven unless it’s preceded by him actually earning that forgiveness, in order to do it “properly”. 10) “A lot of people online would be mad at you making that comparison All Might, but I think it is quite fitting. Both did some fucked up stuff, hurt people they loved because of their obsession with being the best, and both realized their mistakes and are trying to atone for it, Endeavor by leaving his family and Bakugo by helping Midoriya.

That is the sort of character development I love, that is a redemption arc there. It’s not a goal, it’s a journey.”-  A lot of people were comparing them even before this chapter, what with their spiky hair, flame powers, rivalry with the main hero/holder of OFA- losts of people were noting how Bakugo is basically Endeavour 2.0, but being given his own realisation and redemption moment whilst he’s still young and hasn’t made the kind of mistake you can’t take back yet. In a way, learning from the missteps of the past to do better in the future, especially since he also overheard the whole traumatic backstory from Shoto at the same time as Izuku and it probably resonated a lot more with him and his victory-obsessed streak than he was comfortable with. 11) “And you better say something before Shigaraki sees you and remembers when you didn’t want to join his League of Legends team back at kamino ward. He has never forgiven, and he has never forgotten.”- Somewhat Ironic to put it there, because presently Bakugo is faced with the very real fear that he won’t get the chance to actually apologise to Izuku like he wants to, and in trying to save him from himself and his mortal enemy he may wind up losing that chance and his lease on life at the same time. 12) “Oh, are both of them gonna jump in the fray to help Midoriya? Hide your roads, the big guy is stepping in once again!”- Bakugo doesn’t yet have his own Quirk’s firepower honed to the level of destruction that the experienced Endeavour can pull off, but he’s in much better shape than him. If he can make an opening for Endeavour to land a big damaging hit when Tomura’s injuries are slowly stacking, then there’s a chance they might actually be able to pull this off without Izuku having to finish his Farewell to Arms moment. 13) “OH HOLY SHIT SO MIDORIYA WAS HITTING HIM WITH 100% MOVES ALL THIS TIME?! AND HIS ARM IS STILL HOLDING ON

JESUS THIS BOY IS FUCKING PISSED FOR REAL”- The downside to Float is that, lacking self-population to help ground his attack attack in mid-air, Izuku’s higher-level attacks actually blow him backwards from his own inertia. It’s useful to “fly” with in a certain direction, as he showcased in the training with Uraraka, but when actually hitting somebody he’s gonna go flying backwards just as fast as they do. However, with Black Whip, Izuku’s ensnared Tomura and is using the tether to reel him back in for another blow again and again, no matter how far apart they’re knocked back. In essence, he’s turned Tomura into a human paddleball.

14) “MIDORIYA IS READY TO COMMIT MURDER HOLY SHIT WE DO BE IN THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER AFTER ALL”-  Mercy is a privilege afforded to those you can best with ease. Tomura’s made himself too strong for Izuku to do anything less than land the killing blow on him as many times as it takes to make him stay down. 15) “Midoriya that’s not the unexpected speech that you think it is, we saw you pretty much blow up every single bone in your body getting here, you really think we were expecting anything but you self-sacrificing in the name of protecting others? Pssht, my boy, what I am surprised is about is how there’s still solid bones on your arms after those last few minutes of fighting”- It’s not just that he’s sacrificing his well-being and potentially his life to stop Tomura. The doctor warned him that overdoing the ligament damage like he did against Muscular would permanently paralyse his limbs afterwards, leaving him crippled for life and incapable of being a hero, in much the same way that him being Quirkless handicapped him from getting the profession in the first place. Midoria going this far may have already done too much damage to his body to recover from. At this point, the worse outcome for Izuku isn’t that he dies fighting Tomura, it’s that he survives, but has to deal with the rest of his life stuck helpless to save others in danger around him. Izuku may very well be killing his hero career with every single blow he unleashes on Tomura, and it still might not be enough.

16) “And this was everything I ever hoped for him. I said a lot how even though I despised Bakugo as person, I always liked him as character because I could see the pride being carefully chipped away chapter after chapter, and in some cases that chipping was with a sledgehammer, but even so, it was a slow process until he actually changed.”-

@thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #mha 284

[neutronstarchild]

Advice from a Writing Veteran

I’ve been writing Inuyasha fic for over 2 years now. It started as a really wonderful escape from the pandemic and has served as my creative outlet, and I’m still going strong!

So I wanted to offer a couple of nuggets of wisdom gleaned from a writer with over a hundred stories and 20 ships that I hope will offer some small amount of reassurance to everyone who puts words into a doc then shares them with the world.

1 - Replying to comments begets more comments Let’s say you want to write a story, and want to post it to AO3. It feels wonderful getting comments from people who enjoyed this thing you made for them all. I always love seeing that Inbox (1) on my dashboard for AO3.

This might not be able to start the flow of comments, but it will keep it going, and that is... reply to the comments. Especially if you can reply to them in a way that is heartfelt that is conversational. It makes that person who was maybe apprehensive think “oh! this person liked my comment! i will write more!” And that new commenter may now write comments on more of your fics and chapters going forward!

2 - Ships Reign Supreme I’m going to go out on a limb and say that my writing style and quality don’t change a whole bunch from ship to ship, so things like kudos on stories I’ve written have been able to tell me a lot about writing for fandoms.

If you write a rarepair, even if it is the most profound and exciting thing you’ve ever written, it will probably get a lot less engagement than the popular ships. So never beat yourself up if you created a thing that people didn’t vibe with. It’s part of writing.

Additionally, the people who follow you often have followed you because you write a specific ship they like. It means that, at least at first, jumping ship to a different popular ship is not going to have the engagement necessarily follow. That’s okay and keep at it!

3 - There absolutely is a zeitgeist, but chasing it can be futile I honestly never know which one of my stories is going to resonate with people. Some I adored and really thought would touch people fell sort of flat, and that’s okay! There is absolutely a measure of “what people want to read” that goes into which stories get popular, but from experience you really can never predict what it’s going to be. Yes, a popular ship that is smutty (especially in Inuyasha) has a pretty high chance of being better received than a dark MCD fic, but honestly, it’s hard to tell.

4 - People really do like completed fics. Yeah.... I have a backyard full of an unnatural number of plot bunnies I want to round up. It’s what’s fun about writing, letting your mind fold around something new and exciting and live in the scenario of your making. But there are a lot of people who won’t start reading your work until it’s got that ✅ down on the lower right on AO3. Never feel ashamed if you don’t get there, because writing should be about you, but it’s important to be 💯 and say that writing incompletes will somewhat lessen your audience.

5 - Write what sparks joy No one on earth can perfectly predict the zeitgeist, write impossibly perfect stories over and over and over inside of the audience’s preferred ship. So chasing after it is just going to dishearten you. Instead, it always feels better to write for yourself. Which plot bunny is the fluffiest and cutest plot bunny in your backyard? That’s the one you write. You know why? Because people can tell when you had fun writing a thing. It somehow manifests in your writing. And writing that is fun. Even a MCD ultra rarepair with a hated character written because you love writing that will bring people who find it and read it with the same joy it brought you writing it.

I’m not saying "only write for yourself,” because that’s dishonest. It feels wonderful for someone to love what you poured a piece of yourself into, and it’s okay to want that. But... it feels a whole lot better getting that when the thing you made was made because you loved it.

6 - Try to ignore the trolls I don’t know what is happening or why, but the number of mean-spirited comments that people are getting has been going up. The internet is a cesspool and all that. The people who leave comments like that on your stories are not people deserving of your attention. They’re people who can’t do it themselves so they tear others down because they can’t click a Back button.

7 - Build a support crew This is the last piece of advice. Find friends who will read your stuff and give you what you need. Are you someone who does this to smile and needs someone to cheerlead and encourage you on? Heck yesss!!! There are absolutely people who would love to do that for you. Are you someone who wants to improve your craft and needs honest advice on how to get better? Those people exist too. Find them. It might take some looking, and you may want to think about what you will do in return, but finding your people means... having a crew who will read your MCD rarepair and encourage you on. They will lament the zeitgeist getting really really into sex pollen (which you totally don’t get), they will help you find the ending to that incomplete fic you want to complete, and they will help you remember that writing is fun... (oh and probably help you put the comments by the trolls into perspective and reassurance.) Heck, maybe one of those precious wonderful commenters (who you are now replying to!) is an excellent place to start!

Writing is so much fun, and it’s made more fun to get to live in these universes with our friends. I hope you all do wonderful things with your writing, whether that’s writing the next big popular fic in your fandom, whether that’s a crackfic drabble, whether that’s a single scene that you just want to write until you get there. All of these things will find someone that they touch. Thank you for writing and putting these great things out into the world.

From, Neutron

#neut writes #neut advice #advice from a prolific writer

[connorthemaoist]

kites-journal.org | 1 April 2024

After consulting a tarot card reader while on a sojourn to his old stomping grounds in the Bay Area, California for insight into the possible political scenarios that could manifest in the US in November 2024, Bob Avakian has set to work on a new book to be published in the run-up to the upcoming presidential election. Democracy: We Can’t Do Better Than That promises to rationalize why preventing Trump from taking office must be the strategic priority of communists in the US, even as under the Biden administration life has arguably gotten worse for the masses of people in the US, the CDC started inventing total nonsense in relation to COVID-19 (such as the five-day rule), and the US funded and supported a genocidal war against Palestinians in the Gaza Strip.

But more than just explaining the RevCom’s current strategy of imagining a revolutionary crisis occurring around the 2024 elections and hinging all their political work around that prediction, Democracy: We Can’t Do Better Than That will justify Avakian’s reversal of correct verdicts on the history of the international communist movement. Chapter 2 of the book will rehabilitate the Comintern’s united front against fascism of the late 1930s, arguing that the defense of bourgeois-democracy against fascism supersedes the need for proletarian revolution. Chapter 3 will refashion some of Earl Browder’s ideas for the 21st century and explain the spiral-like development of Avakian’s “new communism” as a re-synthesis of the old communism of the late-1930s CP (but without the mass following) that Avakian previously insisted must be discarded. Chapter 4 will explain why proposed policies in the Constitution for the New Socialist Republic in North America that Avakian authored sound more like bourgeois-democratic parliamentary procedures than the practices of the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution in socialist China. In the conclusion of Democracy: We Can’t Do Better Than That, Avakian will rationalize how tailing the liberal petty-bourgeoisie and flattening all political work into the fight against Trumpian fascism can serve revolutionary objectives.

Followers of Avakian had mixed reactions to the announcement of his forthcoming book. Some were glad that he was actually sitting down to write a book instead of just doing another lengthy talk that is subsequently transcribed and published. Others wondered if they could stomach the possibility that, after decades of dedicating their lives to revolution, Avakian might once again tell them to vote for Biden in order to stop Trumpian fascism. Most, however, were unfortunately too brain dead after years of doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result each time to think critically or question a capitulationist political line. A standout among Avakian’s followers was Andy Zee, who was ecstatic about the upcoming release of Avakian’s Democracy: We Can’t Do Better Than That. On the Revolution Nothing Less YouTube show, Zee explained that “I’ve gotten pretty good over the last couple decades at being a sycophant, arguing for whatever Avakian’s latest ideas are even if it meant a 180-degree flip from what I was saying a week ago. That is, after all, why I was made the host of this show.”

#Bob Avakian #revcom #satire #april fools #april fool's day #communism #maoism #marxism leninism maoism #revolution #revolutionary #marxism #communist #maoist #socialism #mlm

[questifer]

It's Been A While

Some of you have been following me on Twitter for quite a while now, but for everyone else I'd like to summarize just where I've been and what I have been up to since I left Tumblr. I was going to write this out all in one post, but as it turns out recapping 3 years' worth of dramatic life and career events is a lot. So today, I'll be posting only the first part: Why I left Blizzard and what happened next.

Chapter One: The End of an Era

Last time I was active on here, it was around the 2019 Blizzcon in which I helped create the Bastion Blizzcon Demo. It was a hard Blizzcon and many who were staying with me at the con may have noticed that I was struggling to enjoy myself. As it turned out, the journey up to shipping that demo had been extremely difficult for me. I didn't know it at the time, but I was also in the throes of a 6 month long manic episode. To summarize without going into too much detail, I became extremely paranoid about my coworkers talking behind my back, making choices without consulting me that impacted my work, and dismissing me when I raised concerns. That paranoia manifested in anger that I struggled to contain and so I damaged several important work relationships along the way. I also was barely sleeping, had developed extreme caffeine sensitivity, and ended up at urgent care for gastritis and heart palpitations on more than one occasion. At its peak, I would come home from work and scream-cry on my floor and contemplate either quitting or committing suicide. It became very clear to me that this wasn't your run-of-the-mill creative psychosis that comes over me on occasion when the work itself gets hard. I'll get into the diagnosis, how my psychiatrist and I recognized the manic episode, and how I got to where I am now in a later post. By the time COVID hit and we were all sent home in March 2020, I could not have been happier to get out of the office with people I no longer trusted or thought liked me at all. All at once the social pressure to put on a happy face, respond to people walking up to my desk randomly, and moderate my chaotic emotional state evaporated. With the context of only being perceived while on video calls, I gained the ability to control how I interacted with others. I thought this change in attitude would improve my relationship with my peers, but sadly it didn't. They had already decided I was a horrible collaborator and no longer advocated for me behind closed doors. In truth, I don't really blame them, but I do wish they had given me the benefit of the doubt. It was not business as usual up in my brain-meats. After 4 months of more of the same, I updated my resume and browsed LinkedIn for roles that raised my interest. In truth I had been daydreaming about something new, something with less baggage, but my love for WoW, my team, and Blizzard was still extremely strong. I was very conflicted about leaving. When an opportunity arose to work with a studio in Sweden on an IP that I really liked, it presented a rather romantic idea of what my life could be. I could break clean with all that had been going on at Blizzard. I could live somewhere new and different. I could finally prove that I was not just a WoW quest designer, but a game designer of considerable skill. My friends and family were encouraging but I did not hear them when they brought up very reasonable concerns. Was it too far? How would I do without a support system? Was there another way to accomplish my goals? It was extreme, and I knew it, but a part of me felt that the world would just prevent me from going if I wasn't meant to. And that's how I learned just how easy it was to sell almost everything I owned, pack my life into 3 suitcases, get on a plane, and suddenly live in Sweden.

And with that, I'll pick up with the Sweden Saga in my next post.

#game development #covid19 #pandemic #international relocation #World of Warcraft #mental health crisis #bipolar disorder #manic episode #tw: suicide #suicidal ideation

[squidhominid]

Deltarune thread: One More Final

So, a year and a half later, I've done it. I figured it out.

My Ralsei posts from October 2021, right after Chapter 2 came out, they gave METANARRATIVE threads as to Ralsei's actions. But not STORY-LEVEL MOTIVATION. The HOW, not the WHY.

I think I've cracked it.

Before we get started, if you haven't seen or don't remember my past Deltarune posts, here's a refresher: Part 1 Part 2

It all goes back to the theory that's been bouncing around the fandom for ages now, that Ralsei is the horned headband Kris had as a child.

For the sake of brevity, this video will take the place of an explanation. It's about a minute long

My realization is, this theory gives Ralsei CLEAR MOTIVATION for wanting to create an omni-narrative like I speculate about in these posts. That being that Ralsei, as the horn headband, is a literal manifestation of Kris' desire for wish fulfillment.

Ralsei, then, is acting in a way that he thinks satisfies Kris' desires. Kris demonstrably is the less-loved and less successful child. Asriel's side of the room is far more decorated, he's much more loved by his family and by the town as a whole. He is the model citizen.

Ralsei, then, by instigating the narrative of Deltarune, by having secret talks with Kris, who is then going on to create yet more dark fountains, may be acting in Kris' believed interest. Creating the framework for Kris to experience something fulfilling and interesting.

However, Kris seems offput by Ralsei. If we assume Ralsei is the headband this makes sense. Ralsei appears as the Kris Kris wishes they were. A boss monster, like their family. Like Asriel, their brother, the perfect child to their parents, who is everything they are not.

Even if we take Ralsei at face value and assume he is not behind the dark fountains, throw my theory out the window, the fact you are combining all the Dark Worlds into Your Castle Town, that Ralsei is bringing Kris on this adventure, is a sort of wish fulfillment.

No matter how we analyze this, either Ralsei and Kris are complicit, or their ends seem to run parallel to each other, even if on the surface their motives seem to be contradictory. And no matter how you slice it… This drives the point home, that Ralsei, and Your Castle Town, are representative of fans engaging with fiction. What is fanfiction, what is death of the author, what are collaborative canons like the SCP Foundation, D&D, Star Trek, Star Wars… If not ultimate wish fulfillment?

And so it all comes together. Whether Ralsei is complicit with opening the fountains, whether Ralsei and Kris are complicit or working together, both opening the fountains and building up Your Castle Town are narrative parallels to how fans interact with stories.

This even allows my theories to function free of the need for Ralsei to be dishonest. He can still be trying to fulfill his role in the prophecy, he can still be working towards sealing the fountains, as part of the narrative. Everyone playing their role.

Ultimately this fits with the themes we've seen so far beautifully. The player is not the protagonist, the player is an intrusive force in the world. But then, there is still the story. There are still forces beyond our knowledge or control. Gaster, Ralsei, the Knight.

As Toby said, there is only one ending. But there's something more important than reaching the end. The story would occur in the context of the world, with or without us. The forces inciting the narrative exist either way. We are interlopers, but also only participants.

So then, what is Ralsei? That's a question I think unanswerable until further chapters are out (this year, I hope?). But, these Tumblr posts have indicated some narrative threads left for us to pull at. And, well.

THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT SEEMS VERY VERY INTERESTING

I'll see you all again when Chapters 3, 4, and 5 are out. :)

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #ralsei #kris dreemurr #gaster #rambling #long post

[opticor]

partial PE honkai eruption timeline aka i can’t believe HUA became MANTIS at 17

[image id: four collages of screenshots from honkai impact and supplementary comics, acting as citations and references for the timeline below]

roughly a year before PE 3E, KEVIN moves to Nagazora in the Far East (what we call Japan) where he meets MEI [Divine Key manga: Judgment of Shamash chapter]; that summer, six months before the eruption, she goes to an academic symposium on the MU continent where dr. MOBIUS spots her as an excellent candidate for a career in the MOTH evil scientist department [game chapter 17 act 2, ER Recollections: Good News, DK: Shamash]

the manga kinda makes it sound like KEVIN transferred 3 months before the eruption, but that doesn’t work with their bench conversation in chapter 17, unless MEI was scouted the year before they met; but as she already has a crush on someone when she meets MOBIUS, and allegedly wasn’t interested in that stuff before she met KEVIN, i think it’s simpler to assume she only went to the one the summer after KEVIN transferred to Nagazora

meanwhile, HUA begins her freshman year in Sapphire (a city in the east of Asia); she spends 6 months there, during which time she makes many friends, obtains many fashionable clothes, and celebrates her 15th birthday; the third eruption occurs on the day she is due to go back home [all game chapter 20]; HUA survives the initial eruption, is saved by HIMEKO, and eventually joins MOTH as some sort of regular soldier [game chapter 20, DK: Wings of Origin chapter]

MEI’s symposium in the summer 6 months before 3E + HUA’s birthday on february 9th place the eruption somewhere between february 10th and 28th, depending on how strictly we count HUA’s 6-month-long first semester at school (which likely started in september). personally, i think february 14th is the perfect date for a honkai eruption but either way it seems to at least add up to the same month as CE 3E [per the Azure Waters extras] which is neat because hi3 is a story about endless cycles etc.

3 years later, KEVIN kills the 6th herrscher [DK: Shamash]; within the next year, the 7th and 8th herrschers are also defeated [game chapter 20; also per the Second Key manga, Su joins MOTH about half a year after KEVIN killed HIMEKO, and the 8th herrscher manifests soon after]

a small discrepancy in the timelines: 2nd Key manga says it’s been 5 years since 3E while Shamash+ch20 add up to less than that; Recollections: It attempts to fix this (i think) by placing SU’s admission to MOTH at 5 years after SU and KEVIN last met instead (likely the time they saw EDEN in concert [Recollections: Chat History] which is some time before the eruption, possibly even before the bench scene) and yes this means that SU got his medical degree in just 4 years, probably because he’s very smart and motivated, but maybe also because they were already in dire need of medical personnel? i’d also assume this means that KEVIN, MEI, and SU were all in their final year of high school (i’m actually not sure if it was mentioned that they’re in the same year?) since at the very least SU, who lived away from the epicenter, would’ve graduated normally. if PE schools in the “Far East” were the same as schools in Japan now, perhaps disaster struck a mere month before MEI and KEVIN were to graduate :(

there’s no specific timeframe for 9E [mentioned in ELF manga chapter 2 and DK: Blankness chapter both of which are on the CN website but sadly only available as fan translation on mangadex], but the 10th ends 10 months after it [DK: Blankness] and HUA becomes a MANTIS 6 months after that [DK: Wings of Origin]

that’s at least 22 months between HIMEKO’s death and HUA’s procedure (but likely quite a bit longer if we assume between the 6th and 11th they were spaced about 6 months apart), which i don’t think anyone would round down to a year but even then it’s at least 5 years after 3E so to say HUA was 17 at the time would only work if she'd been a middle-school freshman, rather than high-school one

the birthday picture seems like a deliberate touch, and so does making her unnamed best friend Carole-shaped (Carole is 16 in APHO -- someone like the Olenyeva twins would work better as a middle-schooler classmate, or even Sora/Kuu-chan) so perhaps HUA was supposed to have been 12 at 3E when they wrote the manga, but they’d changed their mind about it by the time they got to chapter 20 in the game? now the one thing i really can’t explain to myself is why they made it a point that HUA changes from her school uniform (VA’s blue outfit) to the clothes “Carole” gave her (the Spring Traveler outfit) when she was going home, when the image of her cowering on the ground in VA’s outfit when HIMEKO saves her has been referenced in so many places!! what’s the point

“but if you can’t believe HUA was 17 how can you believe that she became MANTIS 6 months after 10E ended, these things are literally on the same page” idk beats me, one of these is just more compelling considering how scared mihoyo is of letting women be over the age of 18

i could believe Pardo was 16 or so when they MANTIS-ed her though, and Kosma was even younger probably. they of course didn’t need SWARA because when miho came up with it, Pardo and Kosma didn’t exist yet but! if you wanna have fun reconciling all the lores, we could perhaps assume that MEI gave HUA the SWARA treatment for some other reason than the one stated in Blade of the Empyrean :)

tl;dr of this is i think HUA was at least 20 when she became a MANTIS, probably 21; this doesn’t change anything about how effed up her story is, she still saw the horrors of honkai at a very young age, just, you know, mihoyo’s own timelines reveal the lies :^

#honkai impact #i wrote descriptions for the whole collage and then it turns out #the caption limit is 200 symbols #but for the four parts it comes up to over 3k symbols total #i hope i didn't miss anything pertinent #? #not to be the pepe silvia meme but every time miho reveals a number i go completely pepe silvia meme about it #(which is probably not unrelated to why they don't like giving numbers) #looking at you quote unquote 2 years 5 months 16 days 02:34:25 after the 3rd Honkai Eruption #long post #!

[sapphicsandscience]

20 questions for fic writers

Not going to lie - no one tagged me in this lol - but I am doing it .

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

47.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

322,829.

Crazy number for me. I know some have literal millions but I can’t believe I’ve written that much in like the last two or three years??

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Star Trek (TNG/VOY/PIC & some DS9). ER and Criminal Minds more so in the past. But ER I’ll never leave you.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Aster

- my labor of love - no pun intended.

- i WILL finish her (manifest it pls).

A Flame In Your Heart

- going to be honest writing post s3 isn’t something that interests me the most.

- however, this is a cute story and i wish i had some more ideas for it as i feel like i lack direction.

I Should Have Moved Moons For You

- ahhh.

- a fic I really should have pre-written before posting but i do have fun with it.

- i am half confident she will be finished in time but it stresses me out thinking about it and my outline lol.

- but like most of my WIPs the chapters are all outlined and i do have semi-concrete endings for them or at least know the main plot.

A Lot Of Things Can Happen In Two Months

- like the concept but i think i could have written it better ?

- feels a bit messy but also there are a lot of feelings in it.

- but happy i got it finished !! and i am proud of it overall.

Eighteen Minutes

- ngl I forgot I wrote this lol.

- the only one-shot here.

- def benefited kudos wise from being posted after the second episode aired.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! And I love to give comments regardless if I get a reply from the author. But personally, I like to reply back as the commenter has taken their time to do this. And you can have some really lovely and funny interactions in the comments haha … I just love talking about fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well…it would have to be either of the ones I killed Beverly in - Last contact or Too Late.

Not sure which is more angstiest?

However, as for a multichap ending that ends the most angstiest and wasn’t written to be a character-death-fic - maybe - A Lot Of Things Can Happen In Two Months. Which sucks cause it’s pretty much canon compliant LOL.

Hmm now I am tempted to write another multichap with a less than happy ending…

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics that have an ‘ending’ are WIPS that I haven’t finished yet lol.

But maybe Our Turn - it’s just Beverly and Jean-Luc enjoying everything wonderful in their lives <3

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really - I doubt anyone cares enough lol. But I am ‘fortunate’ that some of the more ‘controversial’ ships I may write have had writers come before me and take the brunt of any crap :(( but they’ve created a lovely sandbox for the rest of us to play in <3

9. Do you write smut?

Not often but I have yeah…and *deep breaths* … I have no idea if I am even acceptable at it LOL. It’s definitely something I sometimes want to add to my fics and lately I’ve been giving in a little.

Okay, someone tell me if I am terrible and I will stop.

10. Do you write crossovers?

It’s not my go to thing but yes I have. Including the fusion ER/TNG fic that three people have probably read (but three people I love).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but that would be cool as!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With my lovely and supportive ER fic buddies ❤️

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Not sure how best to answer this. It is very dependant on my current hyperfixation and I am one of those sapphics that very much is into the woman more than the man in terms of interest in f/m ships…

However, at the moment it’s Beverly/Jean-Luc and I can say I am definitely more invested and interested in Jean-Luc’s character than I have been with other men in f/m ships. So that’s another reason.

But I love to read/write Crusher/Janeway ❤️ and LOVE those characters. Kerry/Sandy too is special to me.

Can honestly say apart from helping me give Emily Prentiss a baby in my fics I never cared that much for any of her ships I wrote (sorry 😭).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Probably better I don’t answer this. It stresses me out cause I want them all to be done 😭

I’ll answer with a WIP I never posted which was a dystopian AU with Kerry and Sandy. Field medicine, babies (it’s me so ofc) and friends trying to survive together.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm - I think I can come up with some good ideas. I can be good at description and introspection … probably more than dialogue.

And I am very strong in the art of giving Beverly Crusher lots of babies. And also making her go through angsty stuff. But I make up for that with the babies I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long intricate plots ? I would love to be better as balancing many themes and plot points in one story. I struggle with dialogue sometimes as well.

Also I am very word count preoccupied at times which is a hindrance as a writer. I sometimes really struggle to get anything out in a session then can overcompensate later by writing too much? But honestly either way I just let myself go with the flow these days otherwise I stress about it.

Yeah and I probably need to edit better.

And smut.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Is this controversial?? I don’t have any issue with it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

(redacted)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

These are both not what I would consider my best work (idk what that even is) but probably Gone (Ice)fishing or It Takes A Village.

Both were written as gifts and out of my comfort zone (for different reasons) but I am really proud of them both.

But I also love some of my Kerry/Sandy one-shots I did here on this blog. And Aster is definitely a personal accomplishment in terms of length as a writer. I love it too ❤️.

Oh, also - To Build A Home - cause it’s tragic & angsty but also BABY🥹 - it’s just my brand.

—————————————————

Okay -I’ll shut up now.

Anyone feel free to do this and tag me.

#fic ask #ask meme #fanfiction #writing

[adelaide388]

My Thoughts on Kanou and Someya's Relationship

Note: I'm not referring to Kanou Somoku and Someya Kaoruko. I'm referring to their parents. I'll address Kanou as Somoku, his father as Kanou, and Kaoruko's father as Someya. This is not a review of Okane Ga Nai. I will not be criticizing nor defending the series and all of its problems. This is just an account of my thoughts on Kanou and Someya's relationship.

The first time I read Okane Ga Nai, I never thought I'd be consumed with the desire to create fanfiction/fanart of a side pairing, much less this massive, soul-consuming post, yet here I am. I'll go by sequential order, oldest chapter to the newest.

1.) Vol. 6, Ch. 4

In this chapter, Ayase asked Somoku if he and his father had any nostalgic memories. Somoku answers no because Kanou took him to mahjong clubs.

Nothing much happened here in terms of Kanou and Someya's relationship. However, I include this flashback because it's the first time we see these characters interact, and it gives us an understanding of their dynamic.

As we saw in this picture, Kanou and Someya's dynamic is lacking. Someya objects to Kanou's cruel demand to be paid for beating Somoku, and Kanou dismisses him.

There is no chemistry between them. Their interactions are reserved and distant. I really don't have much to say about this flashback other than this wasn't the moment I decided to ship them. The following section is when I started to get interested.

2.) Vol. 8, Ch. 4.5

This comic strip is to blame for my obsession. Basically, it's just a funny story about Somoku's upbringing.

I like how Somoku was basically a demon since birth lmao.

Anyways, the reason why I say this comic strip was the cause of my obsession is that Kanou had to rely on Someya. A ruthless man is reduced to an incompetent father who has to rely on his friend with the personality of a chihuahua. How funny is that?? I found it hilarious and cute.

But the other reason why I love this comic strip is that Kanou is getting used to Someya. Thinking back to Vol. 6, Ch. 4, I mentioned that Kanou basically treated Someya like an outsider. To me, that implies that Kanou wanted to raise Somoku alone; he didn't want/need the opinion of others. And with Kanou's mindset that not even familial bonds should get in the way of business, it's no surprise that Kanou would raise Somoku alone. However, he realizes that raising a kid isn't as easy as he thought it would be lol.

So here comes Someya in all his short-tempered glory and destroys Kanou's peace. I imagine that Kanou would be uncomfortable with having another person barging into his home, nagging him for his inappropriate behavior, and making noise when playing with his baby. And that uncomfortable feeling is manifested in silence as Kanou just listens to Someya scold him like in the second picture. I mean, what else can Kanou do to not piss off the only help he has? He's helpless, and I love it LMAO

I was fangirling so hard after reading this comic. And then comes Vol. 9, Ch. 38

3.) Vol. 9, 38

There isn't much interaction between Kanou and Someya, but there are cute moments about Someya being important to Somoku.

First, let me start off by commenting on this picture.

AHHHH! The cuteness overload >.< Anyways...

I'm probably reading too much into this picture, but I can't help but feel like this is symbolic. Turning your back to someone is a symbol of trust, and the fact that Kanou is back-to-back with Someya is making me squeal!!! But not only does Kanou trust Someya, but Somoku trusts Someya. So much so that he prefers sitting in Someya's lap over his father's lap. It might be logical that Somoku would prefer to sit with Someya, but Somoku grew up with his father's lessons about trusting no one; Somoku wouldn't trust so easily with that mentality but he doessssss! He finds security and maybe even comfort in Someya, and that's just so cute to me.

Someya is the glue of the Kanou household, the center, and I'm dying to see more about the trio.

Last comment about this chapter, take a look at the quote, "'Only two people can do that to the President and live. The previous president and Someya-sensei." The side character says this to Ayase after he sees Someya whack Somoku and it's just so funny to me. Like, the poor boy was just thinking about how scary Somoku was that he had yakuza henchmen trembling and then out comes some angry chihuahua to hit Somoku. Everybody gangsta until your parents whoop your ass.

Also, look at how alike Someya and Somoku are <3

Last thing I swear. Takanohashi is a real one for starting my "Someya is a mother/wife" campaign lmao he's a fudanshi at heart.

4.) Vol. 10, 45.1

THIS IS MY FAVORITE FLASHBACK!

Okay, so this is my favorite flashback because KANOU IS FINALLY COMFORTABLE WITH SOMEYA!

Kanou feels comfortable enough to tease Someya by calling him a "certain fussy lawyer." The tone of the panel where the quote comes from is a joking tone because the characters are drawn in a style similar to chibi form, which is why I say it's a joke and not an insult. They've become so close as they rightfully should be because they've been raising a kid together for years.

Another reason I love this flashback is that Somoku secretly loves that Someya showed up for him. He was prepared to not see his father at the school and then comes Someya and Somoku blushes! It warms my heart that a child gets the emotional support they deserve.

I have to say that as much progress as Kanou and Someya have made, Kanou still thinks he's alone sometimes. Someya yells in the last picture, "...when you say 'I'm taking responsibility for Somoku!'" Kanou still makes comments where he takes sole responsibility for Somoku, and that hits hard after looking at the latest chapters, but basically, it's like Kanou reminds himself that he shouldn't confide in Someya as a co-parent. And that's just sad :(

5.) Vol. 12, Ch. 5

This is so cuteeee <3

"It's because we're too soft on you." -> AHHHHH! <3<3 Another example of Kanou being comfortable with Someya. He's thinking about themselves as married.

"I'll sue him for defaming your father's character!!" -> Actual development on Someya's part. Usually, Someya gets mad at Kanou, but this time he's mad for Kanou. This time Kanou isn't the enemy in Someya's eyes; Kanou is the one who needs "protecting."

Also, can I point out that Someya spends way too much time with the Kanous? I understood that he needed to be there a lot because Somoku was a baby, but now he's a child, he should be able to live another day under Kanou's "care." Someya doesn't need to be there, but I love that he is there often :)

6.) 69-71

HERE COMES THE ANGST. I don't know if this counts as a spoiler because the chapter(s) has been on mangago.com for a good month, but whatever, spoiler alert.

My heart...hurts.

Look at Someya's terrified face in the first picture. You'd think he saw a ghost, but no, it's just Someya surprised at Ayase's comment about Somoku looking like Kanou. Why was he surprised?

Kanou's last wish was for Somoku to be different than him. Kanou had expressed to Someya only that he wanted Somoku to be different and that means he didn't want Somoku to be alone.

I've mentioned that Kanou had a solitary mindset, especially before Someya got involved in Somoku's upbringing, but why did he think like that? He's a loan shark, first and foremost. It's not easy for him to trust because trusting the wrong person can be dangerous. And he has to be ruthless to ensure no one tries to get away with stealing his money. It's no wonder why Kanou came across as a lonely character in Vol. 6, Ch. 4, and the comic strip. He believes being alone helps him in the long run, even if it creates enemies like Konomi.

But Kanou raised Somoku to think like him, so what difference does it make that Kanou doesn't want Somoku to be like him?

I think the difference has something to do with regret. Kanou believed being alone protects him at his job, and he probably thought Somoku was going to take his place, so Kanou trained Somoku to think like him. But Kanou didn't take into account that Someya would change his perspective. Someya showed Kanou that sometimes he had to trust someone else and that trusting could lead to a bond so strong, so beautiful that even if they yelled at each other or pushed each other away, they'd be there for each other. And Kanou probably regrets that it took (maybe 6-12 years, I don't know how old Somoku is in the Vol. 10, Ch. 45.1 flashback) so long to trust Someya. He could've enjoyed Someya's companionship sooner had he not been so stuck in his solitary ways.

So even if Kanou wants Somoku to think like him because he thinks it'll keep Somoku alive, he wants Somoku to behave in the way Someya raised him. It's why, despite Kanou judging Somoku's brattiness, he comments, "...it's a good thing that that damned brat isn't anything like me." Because it's Someya's influence. Somoku's brattiness is Someya's fault. Somoku being short-tempered is Someya's fault. Kanou sees a difference in Somoku (because Kanou sure as hell wouldn't act like that at all), and he couldn't be happier. Why? Because Kanou doesn't want Somoku to be alone.

I think Someya gave Kanou the wrong idea that those personality traits are what will help Somoku make friends lol, but they are a sign that Somoku isn't emotionally stunted like Kanou. Somoku has the capacity to learn personality traits that will get him friends, and that's probably enough for Kanou.

And because Kanou had expressed his satisfaction only to Someya right before he died (LOOK AT THAT GENTLE SMILE HOLY SHIT), Someya took it upon himself to carry on Kanou's wish.

It's why Someya is so devasted in the sixth and seventh pictures when he saw Somoku's harsh expression mirror Kanou's expression. Someya feared Somoku would harden his heart and follow Kanou's footsteps. It's why Someya felt so much relief in the last pictures because he knew Ayase would change Somoku for the better and help carry out Kanou's wish when Someya no longer can.

SOMEYA IS SUCH A DEDICATED HUSBAND TO KANOU THAT HE WOULD THROW AWAY HIS HOMOPHOBIA IF ONLY TO GRANT KANOU'S WISH T-T

I'm sad that Kanou and Someya couldn't get a happy ending. I'm devastated that Kanou died alone after having known companionship. I'm upset that Someya has to live on as a widow burdened with the unabsolved guilt of having failed his husband. I'm disappointed that Somoku couldn't see that his father did care about him and that Somoku probably won't get a chance to think about that.

~*~

Well, that was my emotional journey as I read through the Kanou-Someya moments. I hope I got everything and explained everything even though nobody asked for this. I'm just glad I got to share my thoughts.

Here are some more pictures that I found cute but I didn't include:

#okane ga nai #bl manga #yaoi #kanou #someya #long post #my thoughts #random thoughts #ramblings #kanou somoku #yukiya ayase