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#making me tired and less likely to find ways of how to not be lonely anymore

sixeyescurseuser · 22 hours

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part 1

Geto is slowing down. He begins engaging in conversation with Gojo, allowing the sorcerer to get within arms length of him.

Geto works up the nerve to ask, “How do you know where I am all the time?”

Gojo shrugs. “I can smell you.”

“EH?” Geto raises an arm and smells his armpit. "But I’m a curse. I don’t...produce a scent.”

Gojo shrugs again. “You do to me.”

Geto’s eye twitches.

“Okay, well. I gotta go - nice talking to you BYE!” he says while fleeing once again.

Not even a week later, they meet again during night time, in an open field, where the moon hangs high up in the air.

Geto perches on a tree branch while Gojo sits on the ground, laying against the tree. Strangely enough, Gojo hasn’t struck up another conversation since joining Geto in his peaceful spot to rest.

Geto decides to be social this time around.

“The moon is beautiful tonight,” he quietly comments.

“Oh, is it?”

Geto glares down at Gojo, the sorcerer obviously noticing the heated look from his companion. Sure, Gojo is blindfolded, but he stated that his six eyes are still powerful enough to perceive his surroundings in great detail.

Shouldn’t he be able to see how bright the moon is?

“Yes, it’s a full moon,” Geto says. “I usually don’t slow down enough to appreciate it.”

Gojo hums, as if in agreement. He tilts his chin up to face towards the curse above him.

“I see something else that’s beautiful tonight too, but it’s certainly not the moon,” Gojo murmurs softly.

Geto sighs. “Why are you still following me?” In lieu of an answer, Gojo goes from sitting at the base of the tree to sitting on the branch next to Geto’s in the blink of an eye. Geto gasps, turning his gaze away in fear of unleashing his powers on the sorcerer, even though Gojo still wears his blindfold.

“I follow you because I enjoy your company,” Gojo responds, lacking the usually teasing tone he has when pursuing Geto in their game of tag. “It’s less lonely, isn’t it?”

Somehow, Geto’s cheeks heat up. First, being indirectly complimented for his beauty (whether Gojo could truly see him or not), and second, acknowledging they’ve been sharing a sense of companionship for the past few weeks.

Gojo Satoru is certainly a force to be reckoned with.

Geto just hopes he doesn’t get burned in the process.

***

Gojo finds Geto beyond endearing. The drawings of Geto in history books depict him to be much scarier and violent.

But he was human too. And Gojo feels this every time he manages to cross paths with the tired curse. Frankly, Gojo wouldn’t be surprised if most of the information in history books are mere rumors that conceal the truth.

Making Geto out to be something he really is not.

Well, if he plays his cards right, Gojo will hopefully be able to uncover that truth, and see Geto in the way Gojo himself wishes to be seen.

When Gojo reveals who exactly the strong and resilient partner he’s taken a liking to, Shoko can only sigh while lighting a new cigarette.

Shoko: “I can't say I’m surprised.”

***

The first time they kiss, they’re sitting together on a bench in the quiet section of a park surrounded by flowers in bloom. This is the first touch of affection Geto has ever experienced, always used and abused when he lived as a sorcerer and hated as a curse.

However, Gojo’s hand tenderly cups his jaw, guiding their lips together in languid kisses that part with wet smacking noises-

“Fuck! That hurt!” Gojo yelps while pulling away.

Geto’s snakes, being the biggest haters of their budding relationship, keep biting Gojo’s forehead. Geto scolds his snakes in an angry whisper.

“Stop it! This is a good thing! Don’t ruin this for me,” Geto says. The snakes respond in their own unique ways.

“Sorcerer, show us your eyes - just one peek!”

“KILL HIM.”

“Geto-san, I’m hungry~~”

One lone snake actually takes a liking to Gojo and scents his cheek with a flick of the tongue.

Despite Geto’s occasional embarrassment of his snakes’ behavior, Gojo finds them cute anyway.

***

Gojo and Geto decide on a secluded cottage for Geto to live in. With money and status not being an issue, Gojo took care of furnishing the cottage and land ownership.

Gojo also has barriers in place so no one - non-sorcerers OR sorcerers - will bother Geto. Gojo insists it’s the least Geto deserves considering the circumstances in how they met.

Geto wants to cry because he hasn’t even told Gojo half of the shit he’s been through. Yet, Gojo is offering the peace Geto has so desperately craved all his life, right here on a silver platter.

Better yet, a peace without eternal loneliness.

Geto is still scared of wandering out by himself because of his powers, so Geto keeps himself busy inside the cottage.

Gojo visits when he can, usually every couple of days. Like a cat who’s been waiting for its owner to come home, Geto greets Gojo with a long kiss. Over time, Geto’s snakes have also come to love Gojo, and they too will place kisses all over Gojo’s face when the lovers are close.

Gojo makes sure to bring back dozens of treats for Geto to try. Geto’s tastebuds are nowhere near what they used to be, but he giddily accepts the bland food that’s been provided with love and care.

Geto versus technology is an entertaining phenomenon. He’s a curse from the ancient times, and there hasn’t been an opportunity to learn the new ways of mobile devices or the internet.

Geto picks up texting the quickest, though he uses formal grammar in dense paragraphs and puts a period after each sentence.

Gojo sends Geto lots of funny videos, to which Geto responds with: “Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Gojo types back :“so harsh, suguru!🥹”

Geto: “I laughed though.”

Gojo: “yes you did, my dear🥰”

***

w/ @no-one-says-hi

#jjk #satosugu #geto suguru #gojo satoru #satosugu fluff #satosugu headcanon #goge #satosugu fanfic #cerdrabbles #curse geto #sorcerer Gojo #tbc

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erideights · 8 months

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Little pieces here and there (2)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Chapters: one, three, four, five

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Flirting, suggestive flirting, heavy pinning

A/N: GUYS THIS CHAPTER HAS ME ON THE FLOOR, I HOPE YOU ENJOY, THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE and if you like it let me know to start preparing part 3 ♡ (sorry for any grammatical mistake!)

"The One Piece will never be yours!" He shouted angrily, that -now- dwarf with a red nose, giant hands and feet, when he was defeated. Just like in a cartoon for kids.

"You're just a sad, lonely little boy wearing another man's hat!" She could not understand how it was possible that this intimidating, psychopathic, eccentric clown had turn around so quickly into this little thing that was so... dare she say pathetic, but she didn't wanna be too cruel to him.

The moment Luffy declared his intentions again, Buggy began to look around him, desperate for a way to escape, maybe one of his crew members who would miraculously come to the rescue, or an unexpected ally. Like (Y/N).

"Wo wo wo wo, no no no no, wait wait!"

He opened his mouth and begged, probably to suggest some kind of pact, to promise (Y/N) a place among his crew like he did with Luffy before, but before he could say anything else, the rubber boy already threw him into the sky.

And that was the last time she thought she would see Buggy The Clown. Little did she know, she was wrong.

Oh, so wrong.

Let's say that the days to come were anything but calm. From the Kuro Incident™, at least they won Usopp's friendship and the Going Merry, one of the cutest ships she has ever seen, to be fair.

And then they arrived at the Baratie, where they met the oh, so attentive Sanji, Zoro was about to die, and Nami... Nami left with the fishmen. Although (Y/N) was on Luffy and Sanji's side when they claimed something bad was actually happening, because she wouldn't have chosen to leave with them just like that, without a hidden, ugly reason behind. Didn't fit in with the idea she had of the ginger.

"I know someone who knows where to find her," says her "captain" when they all discuss their next step.

"Hello boys!" Buggy's head coughs and exclaims in the most forced, sarcastic way possible. Imagine threatening to kill those people after kidnapping them less than a week ago, and now your life depends on them. Low blow, if someone asked her. "Sweetheart." He then smirked devilishly when he saw (Y/N) a little further back, resting her side on the kitchen counter. Surprised to see him and the way he calls her, she raises an eyebrow and gives a small, amused smile. "Hello Buggy."

"Arg, Doll! I'm so happy to see a beautiful face like yours around here." The clown shouts when (Y/N) comes out on deck after several hours organizing the pantries with Sanji. She looks at him out of the corner of her eye with a little smile on her lips when she leaves a snack for Usopp and goes towards the bow of the ship or, in fewer words = in the opposite direction to where her mere existence is spiritually needed. The clown is already tired of giving Usopp directions after all morning arguing where to go, so infatuated and hypnotized by the mysterious aura that surrounds the woman, he doesn’t give up, and his head floats in the direction of the girl, following her, resting right by her side as she sits on the ground, legs falling over the ship's railing and out to the sea.

"Pretty sure you didn't hear me back there" because the idea of someone ignoring him was unthinkable. A war crime. An insult to God itself. He was still Buggy The Clown, The Flashy Fool, even without his crew. Or his ship. Or his body. Fucking hell, what did he have left apart from the head? "I was saying I'm glad I'm not only surrounded by idiots. Having your beautiful face around here makes standing them much easier." He flirts, winking an eye, which (Y/N) doesn't fully get but finds kinda interesting. "We had a moment the other day, right? It wasn't just my imagination, I know it."

"Yeah, we totally had a moment" She agrees, clearly being sarcastic to everyone but him. "You kidnapped us, you called me pretty, you searched me, I threatened you, you liked it..." she lists, lying her back on the deck, arms raised, own head resting on her hands, enjoying the breeze, the sun, and the smell of the salty water.

"I loved it," he corrects her after emitting a little grunt of satisfaction, vividly remembering that scene. What would he not give to go back and enjoy it a little bit more before the rest of her crew ruined his entire day -week- so blatantly and unnecessarily over the top.

"You're welcome. Any time." She answers after an amused giggle, eyes closed.

"Don't tempt me."

"Now tell me," Buggy resumes the conversation after about 30 seconds of silence. He clearly doesn't know how to enjoy it. He is that type of person for whom silence not only makes him uncomfortable, but also terrifies him. Theatre kid. "What's a woman like you doing with a bunch of insufferable kids like them? I know they're trying to organize their boy band and go on adventures around the world, but you... you should look for someone more suitable to your needs, capable of giving you different stimuli. More mature." He adds in the end with a low, seductive tone of voice, shamelessly feeding on the image of the curve of her body now that she's not paying visual attention to him.

"Hmhm. Maybe I'll look for them." She answers nonchalantly, just because. She finds really entertaining this type of tug-flirting-war. Even if he's the only one that flirts and she just gives him opportunities to do so.

"You don't have to look too far." He was so cliché, how cute.

"You talk too much to be no more than a floating head."

"I could always put my tongue to better use." Snapping her eyes open, (Y/N) holds her breath for a second, taking in what she just heard = what he just offered. That would be, literally, giving head. In all the glorious sense of the expression. Raising both eyebrows, she turns her face on the ground to observe him, nibbling at her lower lip. She seems to consider it for a few seconds, because no, she cannot deny how interesting and, at the same time, weird, degenerate, the idea is. But before he has the opportunity to keep talking his way into convincing her, she breaks into a cruel smile and decides to cut his mood "You mean like guiding us to the Konomi islands instead of talking with me? You're right, you should get back to work."

He looks at her like he was just betrayed by his second in command, hoping she would agree by the expression on her face seconds ago, the way she looked at him and how she was biting her own lip in that tortuous way that pushed him to want -need- to do it by himself.

"Wait, no need to play difficult with me sweetheart, I--" But it's too late, (Y/N) is already standing, grabbing Buggy's head between her hands, and before he could add anything else, she winks at him, kiss one of his cheeks, screams at the top of his lungs "USOPP!! CATCH HIM!" and throws his head like she was playing volleyball, Usopp jumping to be able to reach him, both of them celebrating the pass like children, ignoring Buggy's complaints.

The third time he flirts -tries to- with her, she's back on the deck, helping Zoro and Sanji moving some things around. He begins to scream desperately, and knowing damn well that if no one pays attention to him he won't stop even if that means losing his voice, she approaches, hands on her hips, sighing as she looks at him like someone that is about to regret getting close to a crying, annoying child. "What's wrong with you?" she asks dryly, pressing her lips together. "Ah, my guardian angel. Could you do me the favor of scratching me behind my ear?" Oh. A waaay more harmless request than she expected. Of course, she relents, because she sees nothing wrong with this small favor; she’s quite the empathetic, and in his place she would surely prefer to jump headfirst -ba dum tss- into the sea rather than suffer that itch and not be able to scratch it. After granting his wish, just as she is about to leave, Buggy moves his head much faster than anyone would predict, to catch one of the girl's fingers in his mouth and suck and lick and nibble, in a… God, a sample of what he could do with his tongue somewhere else.

A shiver runs down (Y/N)'s spine, and it reaches a pleasurable end between her legs, causing her to press them together as she inhales deeply.

"Wanna see what else I can do?" He whispers as he releases her. She can hear him over the crash of the waves against the hull of the boat, eyes fixed on his face, will to complain nowhere to be seen. Bold, not in a hundred years she would have expected that. And for a moment, she is tempted. That has been undeniably attractive. And it had a really strong effect on her. "I would gladly show you if you let me, you just have to ask, sugar lips. I bet it's been a damn long time you don't treat yourself--"

"(Y/N)!!" Zoro calls her, instantly exploding the bubble between Buggy and her.

She sighs in relief because only God knows she was close to give up. Then swallows, shakes her head exaggeratedly to shake herself out of his spell, and, licking her lips, gives the clown a mischievous smile, recomposing herself. "Nice try"

"Stop trying to deny the obvious" He tried again for the... 5th time? She /really/ lost count during their journey. Appearing from nowhere, he startled her in the process. He was now in a shelf of the kitchen, at the same height as the girl's face. "The chemistry between us is unbearable, you can see it from miles away." Jumping to approach the edge of the shelf, his eyes look her up and down. "Turns me on how you play hard to get because I don't like easy things either, so I respect your game," he nods, raising an eyebrow "But come on... I know you like me. I've seen how you look at me or bite your lip when I flirt with you, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

This whole thing was really trying her patience. Not because she wanted to fuck him off, but because she knows that all that flirting would end with her giving in and doing something she certainly shouldn't. As of for now, he had gotten her to vaguely consider it, and she had to admit, she was growing some kind of attraction slash fondness slash crush for him, but it wasn't enough to fall to her knees.

He wanted war, tho? He would have it.

"You're right, I like you, but you know, I like my men body and all, capable of grabbing me by the hips and pushing me on theirs, to fuck me and make me scream their name until I lose my voice. To make it difficult for me to walk straight the day after." she whispers, approaching him slowly until they share the same air, her nose touching his red one. (Y/N) closes her eyes, taking a deep breath as her tongue caresses her own lips, almost touching the clown’s ones too. Yes, she likes him, she has some sort of twisted soft spot for men who ranged from intimidating psychopath to the most pathetic human being depending on the day, and Buggy was the perfect example for that. "And you..." she tilts her head to the side, attempting to close the distance between each other and kiss him, but at the last second she withdraws, leaving the poor clown with his eyes closed, waiting for the touch of her dreamy lips. "Unfortunately you're just a head."

"Try again when you get your whole body back!"

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy one piece #buggy the clown fanfiction #buggy x you #op buggy #one piece x reader #one piece live action #captain buggy

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teaboot · 10 months

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I used to dream of finding Home.

Somewhere between my tweens and my teens, the house my family lived in stopped feeling like a comfortable pocket where I belonged and started feeling more like a roomshare with strangers.

I'd read a lot of books. A lot of stories about outsiders and misfits who fell into grand adventures that led them into perfect little keyhole they were destined to slide into. I thought that someday, in a much less exciting or eventful way, the same would happen to me. If I worked very hard to be good and kind and forgiving then I'd stumble into Home.

It never happened.

I moved from town to city to country, and didn't find it. Every building felt the same, no matter how long I stayed. None of them felt natural, or easy, or safe.

I was living in a dilapidated loft above a busted-out mortuary when I figured it out.

No running water. No heat. No AC. No furniture or mattress or internet, and a dusty bathroom with a broken toilet and a sink inexplicably pre-filled with cigarette butts, and it finally clicked.

I ripped out the old carpet. Swept the floors. Taped the sun out of the windows with foil and foam and big black garbage bags. Cleaned off an old shelf, stole a cot, piled all my blankets on top of it, painted pictures and taped them to the walls and spray-painted a mural and leaned a tarnished old mirror up against the wall.

I found a room divider in an old office room and took a lamp left out with the trash and set up an empty coffee pot with cheap silk flowers. Hung a shower curtain in the morgue and turned a storage bin into a bath and hooked my towel on a loose nail stuck into the wall.

And when I left, and left everything behind, I found another little empty hole in the world and did it all over again.

That's something I don't think I could have learned from all my stories. It's not something very interesting to read about, some lonely stranger puttering about by themselves in a hot, dark room. But it's important to share it, I think, so I've done my best.

I think that a Place is a beast, and to make it a Home, you have to dig in your claws and fight for it, tooth and nail.

Then, once you've tired it out, string up lights below it's ribcage and pet it nice between the ears until it purrs.

#My home was depressing when the last owner hated living here #But I refuse to feel like a person in a house #So I love it as best I can #And now when I have company they tell me that it's beautiful #And it is #It really is

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jeonbunnie · 8 months

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promises

pairing: reader x namjoon

summary: marriage life with namjoon hasn’t been the same lately. he’s been cold and distant, always whispering on the phone. and you can’t help but notice…

genre: angst

content/warnings: established relationship; married!au; idol!namjoon; cheating/infidelity; implied sex; eventual smut; explicit sex

soundtrack: lemonade by beyoncé

a/n: this used to be a series but I decided to rework it into a oneshot. The plot is mostly the same, however now the reader gets to choose the big decision at the end (kind of like a choose your own adventure).

word count: 18k

Pray you catch me

♪ you can taste the dishonesty/ it's all over your breath, as you pass it off so cavalier. but even that's a test/constantly aware of it all/my lonely ear/pressed against the walls of your world. ♪

. . .

Something is wrong.

You don’t know how or when things changed, but something shifted between the two of you. There is a distance now, more tangible than the miles that separate you from him when he’s on business trips. Farther than the long-distance phone calls that became less and less frequent. Even now, as you lay in the same bed with him only a few feet away you can tell.

Something is wrong.

Because you can’t remember a time when you and Namjoon had ever been so far apart.

He would always come home late at night. Languid footsteps trailing towards the bedroom. Eyes tired and red from too many hours spent awake working on the newest album. Gravity pulled him down in a slump that could only be from the heaviness of leadership, from carrying the weight of the entire group.

And though he was exhausted, he would still find a way to come and take care of you. Even dead-tired, his warm brown eyes would light up and his lips would curl at the sight of you. He’d make his way over and pull you close, until your bodies became an entangled mess of arms and legs, chests pressed together as you curled into each other's warmth. His fingers would run soothingly through your hair and he’d ask you how your day went. The moments you spent within his arms seemed to make even the bad days good.

But it's been a long time since your husband held you close and melted away your bad days.

The clock on your nightstand reads 1:23 AM in angry red letters when his phone goes off in the middle of the night. You can hear the sheets rustle and feel whatever is left of his presence slip away as he sits up, answering on the second ring. “Hello?” Before you can even stop yourself the words are flying out of your mouth. “Who is it?”

The woman who speaks sounds nothing like you. Her voice is broken and fragile, spiked with worry and fear. He shrugs his shoulders and rolls his eyes because, “It’s just Yoongi.” The lie rolls off his tongue effortlessly. You are already hurting and the way he brushes you off tears right through you.

It’s not Yoongi. You know better. Your husband’s best friend loves his sleep and would never stir in the middle of the night. You want to confront him, put all your thoughts out in the open but before you can even gather the courage, he stands up, makes his way across the room and closes the door behind him, leaving you alone.

Again.

Somehow you can’t decide what’s more unsettling: the loneliness you feel when your husband leaves or the loneliness you feel when he’s around.

You are too unnerved to go back to sleep. Not that you are sleeping anyways. Now that you are truly awake to the situation before you, sleep does not come. You’ve been staying up for days, eyes wide open. But it was more than just insomnia. Your mind is awake with all the possibilities, visualizing every single scenario. You can’t close your eyes because in an instant you are there. Thinking about it all over again. You can't ignore it, nor pretend not to see it. You are not blind anymore. And so sleep does not come.

With every nerve on edge you throw back the covers and swing your legs out of bed. You can’t just lay there trapped within your own mind. You need a distraction—any distraction from the truth. Even if the only release you can find is putting your body into motion. You find yourself pacing back and forth, frazzled energy bouncing from one point to another.

Until you hear him laugh. It’s a deep and throaty noise that breaks through the walls and interrupts your racing thoughts. You find yourself tiptoeing closer to the sound, trying to be as quiet as you possibly can so you can creep up and press your ear up against the door to listen. How desperate you are, eavesdropping like this. You feel ashamed for sinking this low, but that shame does not stop you from wondering if you should get the glass from your nightstand so you can hear him better. If you could only hear what he was saying! But the words are muffled, like he’s talking underwater.

He used to talk to you all the time, share his innermost thoughts, his nightmares, his dreams. Talk to you about everything and nothing. Work and play. Past and present. But now, nothing.

Now all you got were glimpses of his world.

You used to be his world.

The realization leaves you cold and you press yourself closer to the light trickling through the cracked door. You can see him now. His back is turned towards you and he’s hunched over, phone clutched to his ear like he’s trying to keep all his secrets from spilling out of it. In that moment, you pray he will turn around so you can read his lips and decode whatever it is he’s whispering huskily into the receiver. You pray he will turn around and catch you. You wonder what he will do. Will he jump? Will he be angry?

Ironically, out of all the times you’ve prayed for God to answer you during your marriage, this is the prayer God answers because it happens. He turns around.

You expect to see the face of a cruel man. You could not have prepared yourself for what you do see. Because when he finally turns around, it’s not the face of a monster, but the face of your first love. Namjoon is smiling. Smiling. This is the moment your heart breaks. When was the last time he smiled at you like that? Pink lips pulled back, pearly whites gleaming. Dimples flashing in his cheeks. The way his eyes squint into tiny crescent moons.

When was the last time he smiled at you like that? You can’t remember. Your mind flickers through the memories filed in your head, though each image never seems to be quite right. Maybe because they are now clouded with suspicion. Was that last smile real? Or merely a mask?

The fact that you can’t be sure made you anxious. You can’t tell the difference because you didn’t know him anymore. Where was the man you loved? This person you do not recognize. His eyes are dark, lit with the desire you once thought was only reserved for you. You watch as his lips curl from a smile into a wicked grin.

Something is wrong.

You tried to fix it. The problem. You. It had you be you, didn’t it? Maybe he wanted someone more gentle. You tried to be meek, mild, and kind. Soft spoken, as you were always previously so assertive. You didn’t want to chase him off with harsh words or accusations. You wanted to be what he wanted. You thought that maybe he wanted someone sexy, so you tried to be that too. You made your eyes smokey and put on red dresses, even though you hated the color red. You wanted to be enough. You tried everything to get his attention, but it made no difference. You still ended up in this exact moment.

A sigh slips past your lips, almost a whimper. It’s the sound of loss.

This is when he sees you.

His smile disappears. Then he walks forward and closes the door in your face, shutting out the light and leaving you in darkness.

. . .

When he comes back to bed—wearing a scent that is distinctly not yours—it’s 5AM. He kisses your forehead and climbs underneath the sheets, yet the distance between you remains. Maybe you already know the answer to the questions that keep swirling in your mind. You don't want to believe that he broke his vows. But that hope does not stop the doubt you feel every time you look at his face.

Are you cheating on me?

Don’t Hurt Yourself

♪ I am the dragon breathing fire. Beautiful man I’m the lion Beautiful man I know you’re lying…. ♪

. . .

It is quiet in your house. The sun and it’s warm amber glow have long since disappeared, fading into black. The stillness is unusual. Normally you hate such things, always needing some sort of noise playing in the background like the tv or the radio while you clean up and do work, but not today. You need the silence so you can collect your thoughts and prepare yourself for what you are about to do.

You are done being passive. Sick and tired of sitting and waiting around for a man who did not so much as blink an eye at you. You are done crying. You already cried so much. All your tears have dried up and gone away. You can’t bring yourself to be sad anymore. There isn’t any room for you to hold inside two emotions. Especially when all you can feel now is anger.

You are mad as hell.

So you came home from work and sat down on the couch, waiting on him for one last time. Head held high, poised and collected. Muscles coiled and ready to pounce.

Just like clockwork, keys slide into the door and Namjoon comes in at a quarter to three, completely unaware of the situation he just stepped into. Looking up he stops, surprised to find you sitting in the living room. He can feel something is off. Sense it in your body language, see the difference in your eyes. For a minute, he wonders if you know what he’s been doing all night long...but that’s impossible right? How could you possibly know?

But you did know.

You watched nonchalantly as he flashed a casual grin your way. “Hey babe...what are you doing up so late?“ You didn’t respond right away, taking the time to examine him closely before you decide to speak.

“Where were you tonight?”

The second the words leave your mouth there’s a shift in the atmosphere. Thick silence fills the space between you, but your eyes never leave him. You see him blink, catch the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows down a gulp, note a flicker of emotion pass in his face too brief to figure out the expression. Was that fear? Was he nervous?

But then he laughs. It’s almost a scoff as his eyebrows pull together he shakes his head in what masks as confusion. “What?”

“I know you heard me Namjoon, I’m not going to ask you again.”

“What are you talking about? I was with the guys tonight, we—”

“Don’t,” you stop him, holding up a hand. ”Don’t do that. Don’t lie to my face. I am so tired of you lying to me, please for once just be honest.”

He doesn’t say a word, only sighs and runs his fingers through silver locks and as unsatisfactory as it is, you realize this action is the closest you’ll ever get to a confession. But it’s not enough. Your hands come up to rest on your face almost like prayer before you ask your next question.

“Did you sleep with her?”

“God (Y/N), are we really doing this right now?”

Anger presses up against your chest and before you know it, you’re on your feet. “Yes, Namjoon, we are really doing this right now. Because I can’t stand one more minute of this fake marriage. I’m not stupid. I see you! And I’m not going to pretend like I don’t anymore.”

“Fine. Fine! What do you want me to say, huh? What do you want?”

“I want the truth!”

He fixes his gaze, eyes locked on you. “Oh, you want the truth? Ok here’s the truth. Yes, I was with her tonight, and yes I fucked her, and it was the best goddamn fuck I’ve had in months. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?”

His words hit you like a bullet to the heart. No, you weren’t happy. You wanted his candor but not this. His tone...the way he was talking to you...You almost couldn’t believe it. How could he? The man you called your husband would never so much as raise his voice towards you. Yet here he was, spitting out cruelty. The brutality of his words mixed with his contempt was too much. Your nails dug into the couch as you tried to steady yourself, tried to push through the pain.

Your mind was swimming with information, trying to come to terms with the new knowledge but one question still lingered. You had to ask:

“Why?”

“Fuck, why? I’m on tour all the time, It’s not like you’re around?”

Are you kidding me?

Whatever pain you felt quickly turned to anger and you whipped around to face him.

“Who the fuck do you think I am Namjoon?! You didn’t marry one of your little groupies. I have a job and a life! I can’t just drop everything and follow you around the world like some love-sick puppy!”

“Yeah well, maybe if you did I wouldn’t have needed to find someone else.”

The nerve of this man!

“So you want my entire world to revolve around you? You are so selfish! As if I don’t already do everything for you. I cook, when you come home at night there’s dinner on the table. I keep this house spotless, but it’s not like you’re even here to notice--”

“I’m not here cuz I’m too busy working the job that got you this house in the first place!”

“Wow. So it’s ok for you to be away from me on your job, but if I can’t be there for you then I’m the problem?” You stared him in the face, only to be met with a glare to rival your own.

“You’re a real piece of work Namjoon.”

How is it that he could look at your relationship and see only your flaws, but never his own? You should have known better than to put all your faith in a man with a god-complex. He only ever cared about himself and his own career. All he had were excuses. You started to walk away from him when his next words stopped you in your tracks.

“Oh please, don’t act like you’re so perfect. It’s not like you haven’t done it.”

You cast an incredulous look over your shoulder. “Excuse me?”

Just what is he trying to imply?

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Now who’s playing dumb. I’m not stupid either, I know you’re seeing him behind my back.”

This again? “How many times do I have to tell you, Jackson is just a friend.”

“You’re a fucking liar. He doesn’t look at you like ‘just a friend’, I know you slept with him.”

Now you were furious. You took several steps towards him till you were so close you could feel his heated breath on your face. “Let’s not get it twisted, I’m not the cheater—You are!” you said, jabbing a finger into his chest. “You don’t get to put this on me! You and I both know I’m not the one who’s unfaithful!”

By the end of your sentence you found yourself out of breath, panting. You were shouting the entire time. Unable to keep the fire inside; your fury, abated. You looked at your husband, finally eye to eye and sighed.

“I wouldn’t do that to you.” You spoke, your voice coming out much softer than either of you had expected. “I wouldn't do anything to disrespect you like the way you disrespect me.”

Once again silence swelled within the room and all you could do was look at him and wonder how you had ended up here. The two of you never used to fight, not like this. It was never this bad. But things were different now.

“W-why did you do this to me? To us?” On your wedding day you both took vows to be united as one in this relationship. He was hurting himself just as much as he was hurting you but he was so wrapped up in his own pride that he couldn't see it.

“Are you even sorry?”

Namjoon didn't say a word.

You closed your eyes and counted to ten, trying to find some kind of peace. But by the time you finished counting your anger still hadn't subsided. You couldn't find peace because there was no peace here.

Everything in this relationship was so, so hard. You couldn't pick up the broken shards of your relationship all by yourself and he wasn't even trying to fix it.

“I can't—I can't do this anymore”

Namjoon narrowed his eyes. “Can't do what anymore?”

“This!” You yelled, throwing your arms out.

“You. Me. Us. I can’t do it anymore and I don't want to.”

And with that you spun on your heel making a direct line for the bedroom. You could hear him follow behind you, but you didn't care. Your mind was focusing on something else now.

All you cared about was getting the hell out of there. You went into the closet and pulled out an overnight bag, snatching clothes off hangers and stuffing them inside.

“What are you doing?”

You had to laugh at his question. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m leaving you.”

You didn’t stop packing. After taking out enough clothes you grabbed your bag and walked out of the closet. On your way you caught a glimpse of Namjoon with a blank expression on his face.

“Don’t tell me you're actually surprised?”

Brushing past him, you made your way to the bathroom. “I was so blindly in love with you that even when I knew—I knew what you were doing, I tried to stay. But I deserve better. I deserve so much more than you.”

After gathering the rest of your stuff you turn around to walk out the door only to find Namjoon leaning against the frame. Taking in his image made your steps falter.

He looked strong and athletic in a white muscle tee. His arms were crossed over his chest, a gesture built out of displeasure, but only served to highlight the curve of his biceps. When you finally tore your eyes away from his body and up to look at his face, you sighed. He was clenching his jaw, showing off all his angles while his lips pushed out into the perfect pout. His eyes as always were dark, intense, and fixed on you.

Well, not always fixed on you.

He was so beautiful and you hated him for it. Or rather how he made you feel. He could still make your heart skip a beat even as it was breaking.

Yes, you still loved him. But clearly his love for you didn’t run quite as deep.

“So what now? You want a divorce? You signed the prenup. You're not going to get any money out of me.” He growled, voice deep and raspy.

There he goes again, always so damn arrogant…..His words served as a reminder. This is why you had to go. You broke eye contact, concentrating on zipping up your bag. “You can keep your money. I’ve got my own, and I can take care of myself.”

You crossed in front of him, swiftly taking a pair shoes then sitting on the bed to put them on. It dawned on you that he didn’t even ask you to stay. But then again, although it hurt to make this decision, you didn’t have to blink away any tears.

“Where the fuck are you going?”

You laced up your shoes, pulling the strings tight. “I don’t know.” You snapped. “Since you seem to think all I do is sneak around behind your back, maybe I’ll go see Jackson. Or maybe I’ll go out and find me another man. All I know is, I’m never coming back to you. I can promise you that.”

You weren’t playing nice but you were honestly so done with his attitude, mistreatment, and all the pain he caused you. Confident in your decision, you got your bag and stood up, striding towards the exit.

“Hey!”

You ignored him.

“Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!”

“Kiss my ass, Namjoon!” You sassed, walking out the door and out of his life.

Resentment

♪ I may never understand why. I’m doing the best that I can. And I tried, and I tried to forget this. But I’m much too full of resentment…

. . .

Kim Namjoon knew you would probably leave him if you found out about his affair.

You weren’t the type of woman to let yourself be walked all over, and honestly he was surprised you’d let him get away with it for so long. For months you put up with the late night calls, the sneaking around, the constant lies...And he watched the light dim in your eyes as he broke his vows. It wasn’t like he wanted to cheat on you—not at first.

But anytime he was away from you on tour he just got so lonely.

Sure he had his bandmates and his fans but when the stage lights turned off and the cheers died down none of that was enough to keep him going. Whenever he got by himself it’s like the floodgates opened up. And all the pressure, the high expectations, the push for success, the hate, all of it came washing over him.

And Namjoon felt like he was drowning in it.

As much as he wanted to tell you what ailed him, he didn’t wanna put you under any more stress. You were already constantly worrying about his welfare, filled to the brim with your own concerns. He didn’t think it fair to make you shoulder his burdens as well. But holding all his feelings inside only made things worse.

The helplessness, the anxiety...he just wanted to make it go away. Even if only for a moment. And that’s all it was. A moment of weakness.

The first time it happened he regretted it immediately. He stayed up the whole night, staring at the ceiling, consumed by his guilt. It was the biggest mistake he had ever made. He planned to go home and just come clean, tell you everything that happened. Then beg and beg for your forgiveness.

All he could do on the plane ride back home was pray to God you would somehow take him back.

But then he saw your face. The bright smile you gave him when he walked in the door and heard the joy in your voice as you greeted him. Felt your love as you curled into his embrace, nudged your head in the crook of his neck and whispered “I missed you so much”.

How could he tell you the truth then? How could he tell you what he had done, that he’d broken his promise and given himself to another? He wasn’t even on stage, yet here you were, looking at him with stars in your eyes. You were the only person who truly knew him, flaws included, and despite it all you still loved him.

He couldn’t watch the love and devotion in your eyes turn to hatred and disgust. He couldn’t cope with the reality of the situation. The fact that your heart might close to him forever, that you might leave him.

And then he’d really be alone.

No, that couldn’t happen. If you left..? At the time, he hadn’t wanted to even think about it. So instead of doing the right thing and being honest he closed himself off. If only to keep himself from breaking down. Everytime he looked at you he felt ashamed of his actions. It didn’t feel right, lying to you. Maintaining a distance was the only way he could keep his secret a secret.

The second time it happened, it wasn’t a mistake. A mistake repeated more than once is a decision. And when temptation swept by, manifesting itself in long legs and a warm body to hold at night, Namjoon couldn’t resist.

The guilt hit him just as hard, if not harder than the last time. If he had to face you in that moment without a doubt he would have spilled out all the ugly truth. But it didn’t happen that way. He was on tour for an even longer time than usual, and the separation gave him more than enough time to compose himself, to bury the guilt far enough where it would not resurface. But in doing so he had to become a different person to you. Hard. Cold to the touch.

It affected him as much as it affected you. With every shrug and look of indifference, every evasion he could feel himself slipping further and further away from the man he wanted to be, from the man that you deserved.

And yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to stop.

The third time it happened, you knew. Even now he couldn’t figure out what tipped you off. He knew there wasn’t any lipstick on his cheek or lingering perfume (Namjoon was stupid for cheating, but he wasn’t that stupid). Nothing tangible to hold your suspicion but you felt it. You questioned him, asking things like ‘what’s wrong?’ and ‘did something happen tonight?’, each inquiry only put him on edge and he snapped at you, starting a fight to distract you from the truth.

That night he left home, seeking comfort in the arms of the first girl he cheated with. He crossed a line that night. He knew he shouldn’t have met with her. But she already put her number in his phone and he was too much of a coward to be left alone with his thoughts in a hotel room. But in doing so he opened up pandora's box. He lay in her bed as she stroked his ego, telling him how important he was, how much better he deserved.

And soon enough he started to believe it. That he was better than you and that you were somehow, not enough for him. His superiority somehow justified him stepping outside his marriage. He found himself faultless, thinking it was your job to keep his interest and if he wasn’t happy, it was only his right to seek out happiness elsewhere.

But now, sitting alone in this dark house, all Namjoon could see was how wrong he was. So very, very wrong.

Months. You’ve been gone for months now. At first, he barely missed you. He didn’t have to. The very next day he had to fly out to Tokyo for a concert and he went back to his regular routine. Practice. Performing. Parties. The occasional girl to keep him satisfied. He didn’t need you then. And why would he? When he had all the people surrounding him, screaming his name. Singing his praises. He had no need to miss you until he went home. And that's when reality sunk in.

He came home to more than just an empty house. As the days rolled by he came to realize just how much you took care of him. Not just as a homemaker but as a mate. You were his heart, the sun and moon, his entire world. Namjoon could have killed the man who said you don’t know what you have until it’s gone because as cliché as it was, the expression couldn’t have been more accurate and the truth stabbed him like a knife.

The loneliness he felt when without you was ten times worse than when he was with you.

Your presence had a bigger impact on him than he could have imagined. Something about your ambience was instantly calming. Even if you weren’t doing anything together, whether it be just sitting on the couch or laying in bed beside him your being there gave him peace.

He tried to fill the void, find your image in the millions of girls that threw themselves at him, the women he led to his bed deep within the night. But there was no recreating you.

Namjoon hadn’t known peace since the day you left.

If it was possible he was even more restless than before. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had a full night's sleep. It had to be retribution for all the nights he kept you awake with the creeping thoughts of his betrayal. You, the love of his life, who he took for granted.

He ruined the best thing that ever happened to him, for his own selfish desires.

All because he lied.

And now all he wanted was a chance to get you back.

He pulled out his cell phone, trying to reach you again. He couldn’t keep track of all the times he called your phone, only to be met with your voicemail.

When he watched you walk out that door…a part of him hadn’t really recognized it as real. He was too full of himself to see it happening. His ego told him you’d be back, that you wouldn’t—couldn’t—really leave him. You’d cool off for a couple of days, then come back and try to make things work because that’s the type of person that you were.

He knew you were strong. Strong enough to move past his mistakes. He just didn’t know you were strong enough to move past him entirely.

Namjoon runs a hand across his face, dials your number, and prays. He’s not necessarily sure who or what he’s praying to, but he could really use a miracle right now. Because that’s what it would take for you to actually pick up the phone.

“(Y/n) please, please pick up.”

The phone rings once, twice, three times and then—

"We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”

He hangs up, angry.

He doesn’t have the right to be angry, that much he knows. Mercy and grace from the woman he scorned is far too much to ask for, but he needs you, and he’s desperate, so he’s asking anyway.

Namjoon foolishly made the mistake of thinking that you couldn't live without him. But it was he who was the one who couldn’t live without you.

So he’ll keep calling. Even if it only goes to voicemail. He’ll keep leaving message after message after message.

Whatever it takes.

…

♪ I may never understand why. I'm doing the best that I can. And I tried, and I tried to forget this. But I'm much too full of resentment...♪

…

You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing. You didn’t have to check caller ID to know who was on the other side of that line. Annoyed, you sighed and rolled over onto your side. Curling up into the couch, you choose the warmth and sweet bliss of sleep over another argument.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?”

“No.” You answered without so much as opening your eyes.

Behind you, you could hear Jackson moving around, presumably to shut off your phone (you didn’t care enough to look).

The ringing grew louder and louder and soon enough you could feel your phone vibrating against your back. “(Y/n), answer the phone.”

“No.” You repeated, throwing the cover over your head. It’s entirely too early for this. Didn’t he have something to do? Wasn’t he busy? You didn’t understand it. Now that you were separated, he suddenly had all the time in the world to call you?

You could hear Jackson sigh behind you. “I swear if I have to hear your ringtone one more time—I’m going to lose my mind. Just answer the phone!”

“If it bothers you so much, why don’t YOU answer it!”

“M-me! Me?” Jackson sputtered. “Do you want me to die? Do you know what that man would do to me if he found out you were staying with me? He would kill me.”

That much was true. Namjoon would be furious to find out you’d been staying with your male best friend, which is exactly why you went to Jackson’s place when you left him.

Was it petty? Yes. Was it worth it? Hell yes.

If his feelings and pride were hurt than good, that made two of you.

“I mean, I could probably take him. But Namjoon when he’s angry is a totally different person. Actually no, he wouldn’t just kill me. It would be murder in the First degree. I’m not answering.”

“Then put it on silent. I don’t care, I’m not talking to him.”

Suddenly, the warmth of your blanket was ripped away from you, forcing you out of your bubble of comfort. “Did you—did you just snatch my cover off? Jackson!”

“(Y/n),” He said, coming closer and taking your hands in his. “You are my best friend and you know I’m only saying this out of a place of love, but this has to stop. You have to go.”

“You’re kicking me out?”

“Look, it’s not like I don’t want you here, I love having you around you know that. It’s just—you’ve been hiding out on my couch for a couple of months now—”

“—Hiding! I’m not hiding!!!”

“And I refuse to harbour a fugitive anymore.”

“I’m not a fugitive…” you grumbled.

Jackson shot you a cross look.“Namjoon is searching high and low for you and you’re avoiding him here, in my apartment.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ok, AND?”

“And! I really don’t think staying here is doing you any good. You are not dealing with what happened. It’s not healthy. He’s calling for a reason, you need to talk to him. You can’t run away from this…”

You bit down on your lip, contemplating everything he said. He wasn’t really wrong. But you were far too exhausted to deal with Namjoon again.

You couldn’t go through another fight.

You weren’t angry. At least, not in the way you were before. The last of your anger had been exerted in a fit of rage when you returned to your home to pick up some things you left behind. This is what you told yourself. A lot of damage had been done. Broken dishes, shattered glass, photos ripped out from picture frames. Tiny vengeful acts that piled up to one huge mess. After all of it you were only partially satisfied. But that time had come and gone, you didn’t think you had any more fight in you.

You were filled with too much bitterness, too much resentment for any of that.

No matter what, you still couldn’t wrap your brain around it. How could he do this to you? You thought that having him speak the truth and actually admit to what he did would give you peace of mind but all it did was give you more questions than answers. Now just the thought of talking to him made bile rise up in your throat.

“I...I don’t even know what I would say to him.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. He’s the one who fucked up, he should be doing all the talking.” His expression softened. “But...I think you should listen. If this is really over, you need closure.”

“And on that note, you’re gonna pick up the next time that phone rings or I will revoke your couch privileges!” He said, standing up with a smile on his face.

“I hate you for this.” You growled at him.

He smiled back at you, “I love you too.” He kissed your cheek, placing your cellphone in your hand, then left for his bedroom.

You looked down at the piece of metal in you hand and sighed. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t talk to him. And yet...there was still this small part of you that wanted to hear his voice. Determined to ignore that emotion you stood up from the couch, headed straight for the kitchen. Stress eating had become a terribly bad habit of yours, but you couldn’t help it. You were the type of person who ate her feelings (and honestly, food does make everything better).

You were shuffling through last night's leftovers, trying to decide if you should heat up a plate of dukbokki or humor yourself with dessert for breakfast when Jackson’s home phone went off.

You waited a bit, figuring he would pick up eventually, but he didn’t. “Jacksonnnn~”, you whined. Nothing. Whatever, you thought. I’ll just let it go to voicemail.

You turned back to the fridge, taking out a pint of ice cream when the beep of the machine sounded and a voice broke through the apartment's silence.

“Hey (Y/n),” At the sound of your name you immediately stopped everything and froze.

“It’s me, Hobi. I know you’re crashing at Jackson’s right now,” Your jaw dropped. How could he know that? You didn’t tell anyone where you were going.

You could hear him giggling on the phone. “Don’t worry I’m not gonna tell. I know you don’t wanna hear anything that I have to say but I’m still gonna say it anyway.”

“Namjoon’s a mess...We've been through a lot together—I’ve never seen him like this before. He made a mistake. A big mistake, and he knows it. But he loves you more than anything. Just hear him out okay? And not for him, but for you...I know you still love him too. Call me back, yeah? If you want, you can ditch him but don’t ditch us! We all miss you over here…..Take care of yourself.”

By the time the message ended you had teary eyes, only half a pint of ice cream left, and a decision to make. Suddenly, you didn’t have much of an appetite.

And then the phone rings. Your phone.

You let it buzz for a bit. Fully determined to ignore his call once again. But you couldn’t stop looking at the phone. Everyone’s words were circling in your head. What if your friends were right? Were you making a mistake? Would you regret this in the future?

The phone just keeps ringing. You wished it would stop so you didn’t have to think about any of this. You closed your eyes and decided to let fate make the choice for you. If he called back, you would use the last bit of fight in you to answer the phone. But if the phone call ended and he didn’t call back...then you’d really be done and let everything be.

Your ringtone died and you held your breath, waiting.

There was a long pause. Nothing.

Maybe he'll give up. Maybe he’s sick of all this too.

Expect—the phone rings again. Namjoon was still fighting for you.

So you pick up your phone, press the answer button, and put the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

…

♪ Loving you was easy once upon a time. But now my suspicions of you have multiplied. And it's all because you lied. ♪

…

“(Y/n)?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“I......I didn’t think you would actually pick up the phone.”

“Neither did I…”

Silence is a funny thing. It’s nothing, and everything at the same time. Somehow the emptiness is still able to fill a void. Nothing is said aloud, but a thousand words are said in the silent space between you and Namjoon. It’s probably only been a few seconds, but it feels like minutes have gone by, or maybe even hours. In those moments of suspended time you decide you don’t want to listen to anything coming from him. Not even this silence.

It’s almost as if he can hear your thoughts. “Don’t hang up!”

His voice is rushed, desperate…..and soothing. Though you’ll never admit that you miss the sound of his voice. Your intellect tells you not to listen. To block him out. Hang up the phone, and move on with your life, you don’t need anything from him...Maybe that was true. But underneath all the hurt, and the deeply buried anger, there was a part of you that wanted something from him.

What that something was you couldn’t tell, but it was enough to make you linger.

When you didn’t hang up, Namjoon spoke. “I called you. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for months now.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you answer?” His voice was strangled, raw. If you didn’t know any better you would think him to be holding back tears. But you couldn't even remember the last time you saw Namjoon cry.

“Maybe I wasn’t ready to talk. Everything isn’t always about you.”

You can hear Namjoon take in a breath on the other side of the line and you imagine him clenching the phone in a fist, the way he always does when he makes an important phone call. The silence stretches on for a beat too long and you’re two seconds away from hanging up again when he speaks. “I don’t wanna fight. I didn’t call to argue with you.”

His words are soft, yet you still find yourself on edge. “Then what do you want, Namjoon?”

“I want to see you.”

“No.” You said, shaking your head. Not gonna happen. You find yourself pacing against the kitchen floor. “I don’t want to see you.”

“Why not?”

His words are a match, igniting your fury and immediately all of the anger you worked so hard to keep suppressed comes bubbling up to the surface. “Why not? Are you serious?!”

“After everything you’ve done you really think I wanna see your sorry face again?” Tears filled your eyes—but you were frustrated—not sad. You were letting him get to you. Namjoon always made you feel too much. You knew you’d get worked up if you talked to him, it’s why you put it off for so long. You worked too hard to try and keep yourself together for him to tear you apart again.

You want this to end. “I have nothing to say to you. Goodbye, Namjoon--”

You take the phone from your ear, ready to press end call, and you would have, if you didn’t hear his faint voice through the speaker say: “If you feel anything for me at all, don't hang up!”

You can’t do it. Hang up. You won't lie to yourself. But you can’t force out a response either. Instead, you lean against the counter, letting the silence take over as you wait for Namjoon to form his next sentence. “I don’t blame you for wanting nothing to do with me. I didn’t call you to make you upset. I just want to talk about us.”

Us. What a foreign concept. You try picturing it in your mind but no matter what, you still can’t form a full image with the two of you together. You’d been apart for so long, and if you really thought about it, the separation began long before you ever left home.

“There hasn’t been an us for a long time. I tried to talk to you before—look what happened. I’m tired Namjoon. I just—I can’t keep doing the same thing over, and over again.”

“It’s not going to be the same.”

You frown. “How can you say that?”

“Because...I’m not the same. I’ve had a lot of time to think things over. I know I fucked up (Y/n), I’m so sorry.” You scoff at his poor attempt at an apology. “I’m supposed to accept that? You think you can just call me up, apologize over the phone, and everything will be okay?”

“No, of course not.” You hear him exhale sharply. “I know it’s going to take more than that. But it’s not gonna get better if we don’t talk about it. We can’t move forward if we don’t talk.”

“What makes you think I want to move forward?”

“You didn’t hang up…”

You hate that he’s right. You want to pretend like it didn’t mean anything but it did. It would be so much easier to just let it go—to let him go. Beyond all reason, you’re still hanging on to this relationship.

“Can we just talk, please. Just...just come home.”

“That’s not my home. It’s not. So much shit has happened in that place…” Your voice cracked and you couldn’t even finish your sentence.

How could you call that place home? Nothing felt right there. All it held were bad memories. Thinking of it only brought back the nights you spent alone, those times you cried yourself to sleep, and the worst fight you ever had with Namjoon. There was no peace there. You couldn't go back to that broken place. You feel a tear roll down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away. This time you knew the tears you cry come from pain, not frustration.

Dammit, I said I wouldn’t cry for him anymore!

“It is your home. It’s our home. You can come back anytime.”

“I don’t want to!”

“Okay, okay.” he said, his voice gentle. It was the same voice he used to use when he used to talk you down from your bad days. You could tell he was trying to calm you down, and it made you angry that it was kind of working. He suggested an alternative: “You don’t have to come home. Let’s just meet up somewhere.”

You don’t want that either. “Namjoon...Do you have any idea what you put me through?...W-why would I want to see you? Why would I want to hear anything you have to say?”

“I..I don’t have an answer to that. But I know you deserve an explanation.”

That made you quiet. These past months all you did was ask yourself why. Why did he do it? What reason did he have for breaking your heart? And there were so many more questions. You knew you wouldn’t get any peace of mind until they’re answered. It was what you wanted. No, needed.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll do it,” You conceded. “Where should we meet up?” You were not going ‘home’. You don’t feel comfortable there. There was a lull on the other line as Namjoon thought of a location.

“Can we meet at our place?”

. . .

You knew exactly what Namjoon meant when he said “our place”. When the two of you first started dating, it was really hard for you to be together. You work as a stylist at a fashion magazine and you met him and the other boys while working at a photoshoot. Namjoon caught your eye with his intuitive gaze and cool persona. He spoke to everyone on set with a natural esteem you found attractive. You were so surprised when you actually got the chance to speak to him and he turned out to be nothing like he appeared.

Gone was the calm, collected image you saw in front of the camera. Namjoon stuttered when he asked for your name, his cheeks bloomed into a rosy red. His nervousness charmed you, and in that moment, somehow you knew you would end up falling for him hard.

It didn’t take very much for you to give him your number. But finding a spot to go on a date with the famous rapper proved a bit more difficult. You never liked the idea of sneaking around, but you understood why. Namjoon wanted to keep things private to protect you, just in case the news of him dating didn’t go well with the public. For a long time it seemed like there was never going to be a place where Namjoon wasn’t recognized.

All the face masks and hats in the world couldn’t hide his fame. You grew tired of being swarmed in coffee shops and restaurants. You just wanted a place where you could talk, maybe hold his hand, and be at peace. Ironically, you found it when you stopped looking. It ended up not even being in a building, but instead an empty park.

Its lush greenery held quiet beauty. Not very many people knew about it, which made it perfect.

Some of the biggest conversations you ever had as a couple were spoken out here, and today was no different.

You walk up to a table nearby, tugging on the hem of your white summer dress. Fidgeting like this makes you feel stupid. You shouldn’t be nervous. If anyone should be nervous for today’s meeting it would be Namjoon. But ever since you agreed to see him, a bad feeling formed in the pit of your stomach. You didn't want to be nervous. You didn’t feel like you’d make it out of this alive if you were. You had to be steel. Strong, unbreakable. You couldn’t allow yourself to get hurt again.

It did not surprise you to see him there early. He was the type of person who liked to be punctual. Or at least he used to be. You had to remind yourself that he wasn’t the same person you married. You didn’t know anything about him. Hell, after the last few months you were still trying to figure out some things about yourself.

Under the shade of the table's umbrella, Namjoon sits, bouncing his leg up and down. The only other time you’d seen him this nervous was during BTS’s first dome concert. His head faces down, staring at the ground with a look so intense he doesn’t even notice you approach him. The daze is broken once you sit down on the bench.

Namjoon jumps up, eyes wide as he looks at your face. “Y-you came?!”

It takes all your strength not to roll your eyes. Obviously...you thought.

He clears his throat, quickly sitting back down. “Thank you.”

For a while you just look at each other. You have to calm your heart as you take in his appearance. He’s just as handsome as you remembered. But something was different. He changed his hair. His silver locks were now a honeyed blonde. The warm glow of his skin had disappeared. And his once bright eyes now hold dark circles underneath them. He looked like shit, but you were still attracted to him, what logic was that?

The air tenses with silence, the way it always seems to do when you’re around him now. This is a mistake. Neither of you know where to begin. You hate it, but you know this conversation will never get anywhere if you don’t initiate it. “You said you wanted to explain. So explain.”

Namjoon looks tense. “I-i don’t even know where to start.”

That irritates you. You came all this way, and he didn’t even plan what he was going to say?

“What about the beginning?”

Namjoon sighed. He licked his lips, folded his hands, and then he did it. He told you everything. He told you about his anxiety, and the loneliness he felt. The desire to make it all fade away even for just a few moments. How he almost came clean the first time around. And the guilt that festered inside him for keeping the secret for so long.

“I wanted to tell you. But I knew I couldn’t tell you I cheated and keep you I—” Namjoon stopped. He looked away from you, biting down hard on his bottom lip before returning his gaze to yours.

“I was selfish. And I was wrong. There is no excuse for what I did. I’m so sorry, (Y/n).”

Your lips parted in shock. Going into this situation, you expected things to go a whole lot different. You expected him to try and defend himself, or at least blame you for the reason he cheated…but that wasn’t happening. Namjoon wasn’t trying to justify what he did, but instead taking full responsibility for his actions. Those words weren’t coming from the same man you walked away from. That man was filled with too much pride to even acknowledge his own actions—let alone apologize for them.

His actions surprised you. It was almost enough to make you drop your guard. Almost.

“I know you have questions. I’ll answer anything you ask me honestly, I swear.”

You paused. This is the moment you've been waiting for, and now that it was finally here you didn't know what to say. There were so many questions you wanted to ask. But you want to be sure you'll ask the right questions. And that you're prepared to hear the answers. Once you got the information you were dying to hear, you couldn't give it back. You’d have to live with it.

Finally, you spoke. “How’d you do it? How’d you keep this a secret for so long?”

“I kept a second phone hidden.”

The answer came with some relief. You knew you weren’t crazy, that there was some secret method to his deceit. The idea had come once or twice to go through his phone, but you knew Namjoon would never be that messy. “Did anyone else know?”

He nodded once, and a wave of aggravation rippled through you. “Some of the members knew.”

“Are you serious?” You laugh, but the sound felt hollow coming from your lips. “They must think I’m so stupid….”

“You know they don’t think that, they love you.”

You grimaced. Yeah, right. “Not enough to let me know the truth.”

Briefly you wondered which members knew and what kept them from coming to you, but you tried to push those thoughts away. You came here with questions for Namjoon. Nothing else mattered.

“Was it emotional?” You asked. “Did you love her?”

He shook his head vigorously. “No. No, it was just physical. They didn't mean anything to me.”

All the blood in your body went cold. “They?”

Namjoon opens his mouth. Then closed it again. “Shit.” He hoped to leave that part out of this meeting. A part of him knew it wouldn't be fair to you but would the truth really be any better?

“.....There was more than one girl?”

He ran a hand down his face then nodded, avoiding eye contact. “Yes.”

Through gritted teeth you ask, “How many?”

You wait for an answer but this time Namjoon keeps quiet. “You said you'd answer anything.”

“I know—”

“So that was a lie?”

“No.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Then why won't you tell me?”

Namjoon tensed, jaw clenching. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

You narrowed your gaze on him. “Well it’s too fucking late for that don’t you think? ‘Honestly’, huh? You’re so full of shit Namjoon. Being honest means telling the whole truth. All of it!”

“How many?” You press. Part of you is afraid of the answer but you still need to know.

You wait, staring him down but Namjoon looked away. He can’t say it looking you in the eye, instead he buries his face in his hands then mutters out the word three.

“Three?” You repeat.

You lean back from him, gripping the edge of the table. It felt like the world was spinning around you. Wow. Three girls. Three different girls.

Sensing your distress Namjoon quickly added. “They're just girls. They don’t matter.”

You shook your head, refusing to accept that for an answer. “Of course they matter. You made a choice to go to them, instead of me. I have to know why. What did they have that I didn’t?”

“Everything.”

Ouch, okay. You close your eyes as the pain from that statement washes all over you. The pain you feel isn’t new, but familiar. Like reopening an old wound. But Namjoon isn’t finished. Before you can even process his words he speaks again. “They were selfish, demanding, and manipulative...the complete opposite of you.”

You feel your brows pull together. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? The fact that all the women you slept with are somehow lesser than me?”

Namjoon looks confused and hurt. “(Y/n), I don't know what you want from me. I can’t change the past, all I can say is I’m sorry.”

For so long all you wanted was for him to apologize. Really apologize. No excuses, no bullshit. But now that you finally heard it, sorry just didn’t feel like enough. Instead his words make you feel empty inside. Sorry, isn’t enough to stay. You want to leave now.

Clearing your throat, you got ready to go. “I don’t know what to say to that and I don’t have anymore question so—”

“Can I ask you a question?”

You huffed out a sigh. “Fine.”

“Why did you leave? You said you'd never leave me.”

You feel yourself flush with frustration. “And you said you'd never cheat on me. Promises mean nothing. Words, mean nothing. The only thing that matters is how you act.”

“Besides,” You said, looking away from him to the beautiful summer landscape. “You didn't try to stop me. It's like you didn't even care.”

“Of course I cared. I made a mistake—”

Standing up, you slam your hands down on the table. “It was not. A mistake! Oh my god! How can you still not get it? Cheating is a choice! You made a choice! You think I didn’t get lonely all those nights I spent by myself? You think you’re the only man who’s ever approached me???”

“Of course not—”

“No. Of course not! Because I’m a catch, Namjoon.” Not caring how loud you get, you raise your voice. “I am kind, I am smart, I am ambitious, I am beautiful. You had to be out of your fucking mind to cheat on me!” You said, pressing your index finger against your temple.

You’re crying now, hot tears streaming down your face.“Why can’t you see that? Everyone else can.”

It’s the only question that goes unanswered. Namjoon stares at you, eyes glistening, but he doesn’t say a word.

“I can’t do this,” You wiped at your wet face frantically, standing up to leave.

(Y/n), please.” Namjoon moved to stop you but you ripped out of his grasp.

“I have to go.” You say reaching for your bag, ready to walk away from him, from your marriage, and all the hurt he just laid at your feet.

Love Drought

♪ Nine times out of ten, I'm in my feelings. But ten times out of nine, I'm only human. Tell me, what did I do wrong? Feel like that question has been posed. I'm movin' on.

. . .

You haven't seen Namjoon but that doesn’t stop you from thinking about him.

You think about him almost every single day. What was he doing? How was he moving on without you? Was he moving on at all, or was he just sitting around somewhere...waiting for you to come back?

All these questions only fueled your anxiety and your determination to stay as far away as possible from Namjoon. If you didn’t see him, if you went away...Then those questions would go away too, right? You were going for the whole ‘out of sight out of mind thing’. But it wasn’t working. Because even though you said you were done—Namjoon still had pieces of you. Literally. Your things still remained untouched at the house.

You meant it when you said you didn’t want to go back home. But you needed to come get your belongings. It takes all of your strength to make the drive over without stopping to throw up, or cry. Stepping inside the place where your marriage died was the last thing you wanted to do on your day off. You put off the inevitable for months but it’s time now, you’re moving on, and you’re moving out.

So why was it so hard for you to move past the front door?

You stood there, frozen at the threshold. Heart aching at the thought of what you’re about to do. Fuck (Y/n), you cursed at yourself.You’re a grown ass woman, you can do this. Get in there. It was dead quiet in the house, as you hoped. You’re too much of a coward to call Namjoon and let him know you’re coming to take the last of your things. Couldn’t even text him. No message you typed out felt right. Anything you had to say you already told him. At this point, you both know your marriage is at its end. All you can do is pray that he won’t be there the same time you are. It’s why you chose to come in the evening. Namjoon wouldn’t be home until very late at night because of his schedule. It would give you enough time to get most of your things packed up.

Bawling your hands into fists you gripped your door key tightly, slid it in the keyhole, and unlocked the door. You take two steps inside, close the door behind you, and it feels as though you’ve stepped through time. It’s like nothing’s changed. You don’t quite know what you were expecting. You didn’t have any expectations coming over, but now looking at the space before you, you decided this isn’t it.

The house isn’t spotless, but it’s tidy, neat. In stark contrast from the last time you were here, and the fit you threw. Somehow you expected the house to look exactly in that state: broken. But nothing’s really changed. Soon your feet take on movement of their own, walking you towards the bedroom. Being back in that room is strange. It's almost as if you never left him at all. The sunset pools through the window, drowning the bed in light that looks like honey. The space has the essence of your home. The only difference you feel now is the emptiness. You spent many nights home without Namjoon but it never felt like this.

This time you’re really all by yourself. You don’t live in the same house anymore, but you're not completely alone living off your bestfriends couch. It’s been years since you’ve remembered what it feels like to be without a partner. You wondered...This emptiness...Is this what it would feel like to live without Namjoon?

You swallow down a sob, trying not to drown in your loneliness and turn and walk into the closet. Remember why you're here. Get your things, you just have to make it through these next few minutes. You reminded yourself that the hard part, the confrontation (and the leaving) was already over. All you have to do now is pack.

Strange enough your heart still aches, though not in the way it did before. This is not the ache of betrayal. You truly believed that pain would never subside but it did. Not by time but by choice. You had to choose to let go of the anger and the hurt, choose to free yourself from resentment. No. This ache was something else entirely. But you couldn’t put a name to it.

You step inside your closet, eyes studying your hung up clothes and the suitcases hidden underneath them. Not wanting to spend any more time than needed here, you got on your knees and started pulling out suitcases, folding up clothes, and putting them away. It all went much quicker than you’d expected (you got most of your clothes out during the beginning of your separation). You were picking off hangers at the end of the closet when you came across a garment bag. The garment bag.

Right away you knew you shouldn’t. Only a masochist would unzip the garment bag to their wedding dress when they’re currently living apart from their husband. And yet, you still did it. Tentatively your fingers reached out to grab hold of the bag. You pulled it into your lap and slowly undid the zipper. Then you saw your wedding dress, and you melted. As your eyes traced over the lace detail the memories of that day flickered through your mind.

It wasn’t at all what you expected. When you were younger, you always dreamed of a big wedding, everything you've ever heard about in fairytales. You wanted it to happen early in the morning, in a beautiful church with stained glass windows, surrounded by all your friends and family. You expected there would be flowers everywhere, and something else, something special. The romantic in you hoped for doves or maybe butterflies. And your dress? Only the most regal ball gown would do as you walked down the aisle to the man of your dreams.

Of course, fantasies rarely become reality. The issue of privacy is important when marrying a celebrity. At the time, just getting married seemed impossible, let alone doing it big. With the group's growing fame and Namjoon’s busy schedule, how could you find the time to get married? Or find a venue where fans or media couldn’t find you? You’d have to plan every second, every detail. Nothing could be left up to chance. Both of you were so in love but also, so very stressed with the situation before you until Namjoon made a second proposal.

“Why don’t we just elope?” he asked.

It was late at night. You lay in the comfort of his arms, head resting on his chest and mere seconds away from blissful sleep, so it took you a full minute to process that sentence. You lifted your head to look into his eyes. “What?”

Namjoon smiled down at you, thumb rubbing slow circles against your back. “Let’s just do it. Get married, I mean. Who says we have to wait or plan? I love you. I wanna marry you now.”

You sat up in bed, propped yourself up on your arm, and searched his face. “Are you serious?”

You watched amused as he narrowed his sharp eyes at you in a mock glare. “Why would I joke about this? Of course I’m serious! Let’s do it.”

You looked at him hard for a minute, but when Namjoon didn’t flinch you knew he was for real. Then of course the panic kicked in. “Baby, what? Let’s do it? It’s not like we can just walk into a church and say ‘I do’ !”

“Technically, we can.”

You shook your head, “No. What about all the plans we’ve made? I already booked the venue, and our caterer—”

Namjoon rolled over onto his side, facing you. “So we’ll cancel. The date’s still months away, that's more than enough time to give notice that we’ve changed our minds.”

You laughed,, but your shaky breath came out like a scoff. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get those reservations?! That cathedral is wedding heaven! It is stained glass perfection. The wait time is usually up to a year. A YEAR. And our cake, it’s being made by Giovanni Bianchi—world renowned pastry chef—Giovanni Bianchi. It’s a seven-tiered baked dream. And you want me to cancel?”

To your disbelief Namjoon simply shrugged. “Do we really need all that?”

He reached out, taking your hands in his. He looked down, stroking them with his thumbs in an effort to soothe you. “Grand cathedral or not, as long as we’re together, I’m already in heaven. Our wedding will be perfect no matter where we are because we have each other. And the cake? Well, why would I need a dream cake, when I can have my dream girl?” He said, winking at you.

Your heart swelled at sweet words. As much as you wanted to roll your eyes you couldn’t help but smile. God, he was so cheesy. But isn’t that why you loved him? Still...you felt anxious. He might have melted your heart, but you weren’t fully convinced.

“Yeah okay, very smooth. What about our families? They’ve been looking forward to this so much. Our mothers will murder us!” You made a face, suddenly remembering your wedding party. “Oh the boys…..Jin will be so disappointed if he doesn’t get to be your best man” (you distinctly recalled him rejoicing at the news knowing he’d be “the most handsome” best man ever).

Namjoon brought your fingers to his lips and kissed the tips in between explanations. “It’s not about them”. Kiss. “Jin will get over it”. Kiss. “Our families will forgive us”. Kiss. “We’re not getting married for anyone else but us, we can do it however we want.”

You nodded your head in agreement, though you were still unsure. You knew all these things. Of course your marriage would be just for the two of you. You had no interest in simply performing the act for others approval. You loved Namjoon, you loved your relationship together, and you wanted to do what felt right for the both of you. Still, you couldn’t help but worry about the public’s opinion.

“What about your fans?” you asked. “What if pictures get out?” The whole point of all this planning was for privacy. The world knew BTS was dating, many fans suspected they had secret girlfriends, but a wife? How would they react to that? You didn’t want to hurt anyone, least of all Namjoon and his image. You know how hard he and the rest of Bangtan worked to be respected in the music industry. What would happen if the world found out their leader was dating a nobody like you?

Namjoon looked you straight in the eyes, and spoke in a calm voice. “I don’t care. I’m not ashamed of loving you. Let the whole world see that I’m marrying the kindest, loveliest, soul I’ve ever known. I don’t care what they think, or what they say. I just want you. All I want is to be your husband, and for you to be my wife. Nothing else matters.”

You felt another wave of love pass over your heart. His sincerity stunned you. You glanced at him with glistening eyes. “Namjoon…Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

He grinned at you, letting go of your hand to reach up and cup your cheek. “Are you done yet?” He teased. “Despite all your protests, I haven’t heard you say no…?”

You took a second to think through your conversation. Namjoon was right. You never said no, because as crazy as it was, you agreed with your fiancé wholeheartedly. You wanted this, you wanted him just as much as he wanted you, and you wanted to get married as quickly as possible. With a new resolve you shifted in the bed straddling him, then wrapped your arms around his neck. “Okay,” you said.

Namjoon raised both eyebrows up. “Okay!? Just like that? Anything else I need to assure you of? We have our marriage license. I have a tux. You already have your dress. I know you’re concerned but we have everything we need.”

You nodded. This time you were sure. “Let’s do it.”

Namjoon hesitated, then his face broke into a smile that was so bright it gave life to one of your own. In that moment you realized what you thought to be nerves earlier was really just excitement. You brought your hand to his shoulders, squeezing tight. “We’re getting married,” you whispered, voice full of awe.

“We’re getting married!” Namjoon echoed.

Before you knew it, you were walking down the aisle. You let him plan it all. You got married at night, in a small church, without stained glass windows. There was no big guest list, but neither of you could stand the thought of going through the ceremony completely by yourselves, so you allowed for your immediate family to be there (that included Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk). Flowers did not adorn every pew, but the space was illuminated by soft and warm candlelight. No butterflies or doves. It wasn’t like what you imagined in your head. Life rarely coincides with those kinds of plans. But Namjoon was right. Because you had each other, it was perfect.

In the end, the only part of your wedding that lived up to the fairytale was your dress. It was everything you wanted in a gown. All white with a sweetheart neckline, crystal embroidery and layers upon layers of tulle. The dress felt a bit heavy, but you can still remember the look on his face when he lifted your veil. In one glance, he made all that weight disappear. You felt lighter than air. “You look like an angel.” He whispered, voice sweet and low, so only you could hear. In that moment all you could feel was love.

So how did you end up here? Clutching your wedding dress on the closet floor, desperately wiping away tears. God, what a mess you are. You pushed out a breath and started shoving the white, fluffy fabric back into the garment dress. It was a mistake taking this out. You couldn’t get it back in again. Your fingers slip as you try to grip the zipper, and you can’t tell if it’s because of your sweaty palms or your wet tears, but it won’t budge. Why won’t it zip? You pull up hard, snagging the dress in its teeth.

Shit. Frustration flushes through you as you snatch the zipper back down only to hear the distinct sound of fabric tearing in the process.

You shut your eyes tight, shoulders slumping with defeat. When you opened your eyes again all you could see was the rip in the dress, threads straining and unraveling all at once. It looked as torn up as you feel inside. Part of you is falling apart at the idea of leaving Namjoon, pressured to leave all of this pain behind and let go of the relationship. Call it mind over matter. It didn’t make sense to stay with a man you had broken your heart and your trust. All logic told you to divorce him and never look back. You know this. And yet? There is a part of you aching to repair what’s been broken, pull out the sorrow from this home, and heal all the hurt.

You were so busy wrapped in your thoughts that you hadn’t heard the door unlock, or footsteps tread into the bedroom. From the corner of your eye you saw a glimpse of blond hair, wide brown shoulders. It was Namjoon. You couldn’t help the startled gasp that fell from your lips.

“(Y/n)”, he breathed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Namjoon kept his distance. He didn’t look at you and didn’t cross the threshold of the closet door, generously leaving space between you. Instead, his eyes were glued to the floor. “I saw your car out front, but I didn’t think it’d actually be you here.” He reached up a hand, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I don’t mean to be rude. I’m just...confused.” Namjoon glanced up at you from underneath his eyelashes then slowly, his smokey eyes rose to meet yours. “Why are you here?”

“. . .” You faltered. Once Namjoon laid his eyes on you, you softened, even after all this time he had that effect on you. You were still consumed in thoughts about your marriage...feeling that again, you didn’t know what to think. You almost preferred it when you felt anger or pain at the sight of him. Instead you felt something else. You looked down at your lap, fingering the dress. Was it longing? You started again, making eye contact. “I came back to get the rest of my things.”

A look passed across Namjoon’s face but before you could identify it, it was gone. Namjoon nodded, looking away from your face. His gaze shifted to your hands. “Is...is that—”

“—My wedding dress? Yes.” You tried to think of an excuse, some reason for you having it out but nothing came to mind. You shrugged, settling for the truth. “I just wanted to look at it I guess.” Both of you ignored your tear stained face.

Namjoon bit his lip, the silence stretching between you until he said, “I’ll leave you to it,” and abruptly walked away. Finally alone you breathed out a sigh.

You felt a tinge of disappointment. And you were angry with yourself for it. You don’t know what you were hoping for, or what you wanted to get out of that conversation. What’d you expect? Did you really think after everything that he’d lower himself one last time and beg for you to come back? Again? The man you married you would have, but the man who cheated on you? No, he had too much pride. This wasn’t a romance movie where the couple fights and breaks up but somehow everything magically fixes itself and they get back together. It was really over.

The finality of it all stunned you. You sat there, numbing yourself to the pain for a minute. Then you striantened out your wedding dress, and zipped up the garment bag. This time it went up without a hitch. You were just getting up off your knees when Namjoon whipped back into the room, surprising you.

“I know you could care less about anything I have to say right now,” he began, raising a cautious hand. “You probably hate me, and I understand that. I hate myself for what I’ve done to you.” He looked up in thought then pressed his hands into his eyes. When his hands fell away you braced yourself for what came next. “I’m asking you for a second chance. I’m asking you for a second chance because I love you more than anything. You are the love of my life, and I’m sorry I forgot that. I know you don’t owe me anything, least of all your forgiveness.”

He stopped, voice thickening as he gulped down tears. “But I’m asking for it.”

“I couldn’t live with myself knowing I didn’t do everything to get you back.”

Tears filled your eyes. “Are you saying that, because you love me? Or are you saying that because you want me back?”

His gaze never wavered. “Both. I want you back, because I love you. Knowing you and loving you has been the biggest blessing in my life. I don’t regret it. I'd do it all over again, just to have you in my life. Even if it meant losing you. ”

All at once it hit you. That feeling, the one you struggled to identify when you held your wedding dress in your arms. It wasn’t longing. It was love. You were still in love with Namjoon.

And so you did the unthinkable. You kissed him.

Sandcastles

♪ We built sandcastles that washed away. I made you cry when I walked away, oh. And although I promised that I couldn't stay, baby. Every promise doesn't work out that way.

. . .

It only takes seconds for you to cross the space between and press your lips to his. For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t move—doesn’t even breathe. Then his arms wrapped around you, brought you flush against him and you melted in his embrace as he kissed you, his lips softer than ever. Deep down, you know you shouldn’t. It would be too painful to become wrapped up in Namjon again only to tear yourself away from him. But your body has a will of its own. When his tongue swept across your bottom lip, you parted for him like the red sea and every emotion you’d ever felt for him came flooding back.

Every kiss you’ve ever had, every whisper of “I love you,” all of it ignited in your mind the second Namjoon kissed you back in a moment so intense you felt your body tremble at his touch. His lips moved gently over yours while his hands came up to cup your cheeks, and before you know it, you find yourself in the middle of the most sensual kiss you’ve had in your life. Namjoon kissed you like he was hungry, tongue rolling into your mouth. You couldn’t help but moan, arching into his embrace.

It was shameful how your body responded back to him. You could feel your heart rate increase, the heat rushing to your cheeks. You couldn’t remember the last time you wanted him like this. Your thoughts traveled back to the words that sparked your desire: “I want you back, because I love you. Knowing you and loving you has been the biggest blessing in my life. I don’t regret it. I'd do it all over again, even if it meant losing you.”

All this time you’d been fighting against your love for Namjoon, convinced any feelings he had for you were long gone. But everything he said proved otherwise.

It was confusing to you. You spent so much time thinking that Namjoon didn’t want you anymore, you’d even come to accept it but now? You didn’t know what to think. Your mind was screaming for you to pull away, stop before it went any further. That everything you were doing right now was wrong. Except, it didn’t feel wrong. It almost felt...good. Right.

The truth is you feel exactly the same. Despite everything you’d been through, you still loved Namjoon. He was the love of your life and you wished with everything in you that you could turn back the clock and start over. If what he said was true—if there was even a possibility of Namjoon still loving you, you needed to feel that.

Namjoon’s touch made you desperate. You found your hands tracing the planes of his body, running down his muscular arms before coming back up as you linked your arms around his neck. He kissed you deeper, groaning low in his throat, and the sound was enough to drive you wild. Even this close, you couldn’t get enough of him. All you could feel was the compulsive need for more. More of his touch. More of his kisses. More, more, more.

You could feel Namjoon’s body backing you up to the bed. Your knees hit the mattress and you allowed yourself to fall back against the soft sheets. But Namjoon didn’t fall with you. You opened your eyes, instantly giving way to panic. His pause alarmed you. Your anxiety reared its ugly head, speaking cruelty into your mind. How could you be so foolish? What were you thinking, kissing Namjoon? He didn’t actually want you. He was leading you on, playing with your feelings. That’s why he stopped.

You pulled yourself up, leaning your weight back on your elbows to look into his eyes. You expected to see cold rejection on his handsome face, but what you saw in his gaze wasn’t at all what you imagined. Instead, when you looked into his eyes, all you could see was raw, unfiltered desire. And strangely enough, uncertainty.

Namjoon had a million thoughts racing through his mind, all of them questions.

How did he end up here, with you spread across his bed when only minutes before you seemed worlds apart? The situation didn’t feel real, more like a fantasy, like he dreamed you up. But if this dream was real—if this dream was really coming true—should he let it?

Of course he wanted you. If you kissed him like this a couple of months ago, Namjoon wouldn’t hesitate to take you; he’d have his way with you until you screamed his name. But tonight, the last thing Namjoon wanted. He’d spent months craving your touch; the feel of your lips against his, how the heat of your body felt flush against his. He caused you enough pain acting on his lust. He didn’t want to hurt you further by taking advantage of the situation.

Both of you got caught in an emotional whirlwind but this kiss was a mistake, wasn’t it? He looked down at you, waiting for you to push him away but you didn’t make a move. Instead, you stared at him, desire burning in your eyes. God, that look alone was enough to arouse him. Still, he didn’t make any move to kiss you.

You took a moment to look at Namjoon, really look at him. Trying to uncover the emotion swirling behind his dark eyes. The longer you stared, the more you felt like your heart was going to burst from your chest. You could see his uncertainty but the feeling wasn’t mutual.

Was it insane to sleep with your soon to be ex-husband? Yes. Did it make you want it any less?

Not even in the slightest.

I must be losing my mind. You couldn’t explain it yourself, but kissing Namjoon opened up something in you. Feelings you didn’t know you still had swept all over you. Heat washed over your body. You could feel your skin flush, passion stirring in your blood.

“Are you sure?” he asked, voice taut with apprehension.

Your body was practically screaming yes. But Namjoon’s hesitation made you pause.

Reading the confusion in your eyes, he quickly backtracked. “I’m not saying I don’t want to—believe me I do—I just don’t want you to do something tonight that you’ll regret in the morning.”

Your mind wasn’t there. That moment seemed so far off from the ever-present now and the rapid beating of your heart and the warmth of Namjoon’s body. You knew you had to make a choice. Yes or no. There was a small voice in the back of your head cautioning you against this. But tonight you were following your heart. Consequences be damned.

You looked up at him and nodded. “I want this.”

Namjoon leaned forward to kiss you, and you shivered at the feel of his lips against yours. This time, there was no hesitation. You couldn’t remember the last time Namjoon kissed you like this. Slowly, tenderly, like this kiss mattered. Like you mattered. Any inhibition you had melted away as you leaned into his touch. You felt yourself lower back down onto the bed. Namjoon’s hands passed over your body, slimming down your waist, before coming to rest on your thighs. You let them linger there, savoring the feeling of his hands on your body.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. You were so into the kiss, the feel of him you didn’t notice his hands pry off your clothes until you were left in only your underwear.

He stopped then, pulled away from your lips to look at you. Then the only thing you could feel on your body were his eyes drinking you in. The eye contact alone had you squeezing your thighs together. You watched the heat build in his dark gaze until his eyes lingered just a little too long, until your skin tingled all over from the intensity.

Then he was all over you, leaving open-mouthed kisses down your throat. Hands cupping your breasts. The feel of him against your thigh. It was an assault to your senses, but instead of overwhelming you, it only made you crave him even more. You arched your back as Namjoon kissed your collarbone, slowly making his way down the valley of your breasts. You moaned at the sensation of his tongue moving down your body, closer and closer to where you needed him most.

“Namjoon,” You breathed, body humming with pleasure. He looked up from between your thighs, dark eyes connecting with yours for a split second. You watched as he hooked his fingers into your underwear and dragged them down your legs. Then he gave his complete attention to your body, licking a long strip straight down your center that had you moaning his name again.

Namjoon gripped your thighs firmly in his hands, pulling you closer towards him. He wanted you to know that this meant more to him than just sex, that he loved you, and that he was more than willing to show you just how much. He takes his time tasting you. Each lick languid and loving. He didn’t want to tease you, all he wanted to do was to please you. To touch you and erase the pain he caused--even if only for a second. Namjoon swirled his tongue across your clit. Once, twice, a third time, drawing sweet moans and gasps from your lips.

You couldn’t keep yourself quiet. It’d been so long since anyone touched you. Throughout everything, you still remained faithful to Namjoon. And even if you’d been with another, no one could ever make you feel like this. Have your toes curling, back arching. It was almost embarrassing how easily you melted under his touch. Some part of you still wondered how you could give in so easy. Shouldn’t you be feeling some resistance? All you felt was longing.

You found yourself rocking your hips against him, and crying out as his tongue delved deeper.

You wanted to bring your hands up to your face to muffle the sounds but before you could, Namjoon stopped you.

“Don’t,” he said. He took hold of your hands and threading his fingers through yours. All the while his tongue was still swirling against you, making lewd sounds that had you feeling hot.

You could feel your body heating up, the rise and fall of your chest coming faster and faster. When you felt him slide tongue inside you, pressing up against your sweet spot—it was enough to push you over the edge. You came, squeezing Namjoon’s hands tight.

Namjoon lapped up your juices, enjoying the taste of your slick on his tongue. Even then he didn’t stop, coaxing a second orgasm out of you with soft licks against your center.

“Joon,” you whimpered, body humming with oversensitivity. “Too much.”

Only then did he pull away, moving to place a tender kiss on the inside of your thigh. He sat up, and you rose on your elbows ready and willing to return the favor, but Namjoon gently pushed you back down on the bed, shaking his head.

“I just wanna be inside you right now,” he rasped.

God, you wanted that too. They way Namjoon ate you out had your body begging for more. You weren't going to argue with him.

Namjoon sat up and placed a hand around your neck, guiding you back to his lips. It started out slow. Soft, sweet kisses against your lips. It wasn’t until he slipped his tongue inside your mouth that he found himself suddenly desperate for you. Even more surprising was your reaction to him. You kissed him back with just as much fever, completely captivated.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. When you finally pulled away, you looked at each other, panting, the air thickening between you two. Namjoon’s dark eyes stared down at you with an intensity that pierced your soul. You knew he felt it too. This energy...There was still love between you. But you’d already made your decision. You wanted this moment, this passion but you couldn’t trust him with your heart and be sure he wouldn’t break it. I can’t fall for him again. I can’t. You wanted him badly but wanting him, and trusting him were two different things.

“Namjoon,” you started. Then stopped, trying to find the right words to explain. “This isn’t—I can’t—”

“—Stay? I know.” Namjoon knew what he was getting into the second you kissed him. He knew this was goodbye, and that it would hurt like hell come morning. He didn’t care. If only he could change the past, he’d take it all back.

But he couldn’t. The damage was already done. This was the last time he’d ever hold you in his arms again. If he could have you, even for this short time, he’d take what he could get. He wasn’t going to fuck it up trying to make this into something it wasn’t. He loved you too much to be selfish at this moment. If this were the last time, he would make it well worth your while.

“I just need tonight.”

Namjoon pulled you tighter against him, molding you against his body. Before making any sudden movement, he pulled back a little to look in your eyes, to make sure this was still what you wanted.

You cupped his cheek and kissed his lips, reassuring him. Then he aligned his cock against your entrance and pushed inside you with one smooth move. You tensed, freezing in his arms. The feeling of your walls clenched around him made staying still absolute torture. But Namjoon wouldn’t dare move.

You close your eyes and breathe out a shaky breath, familiarizing yourself with the burn of the stretch. He’s so thick it takes a minute for your body to adjust to the size. Though the sensation of Namjoon nuzzling into your neck helps turn the pain into pleasure. You hooked your leg around his waist nudging him forward.

The small act made both of you moan in unison. “Namjoon...please,” you breathed.

He moved, starting out with a pace that had your insides feeling molten. His hands gripped at your hips as he pulled out almost all the way, then slowly slid himself deep inside you. You were so wet, so tight he couldn’t help but groan. The feel of you taking all of him, giving him this pleasure and the look in your eyes...Namjoon was sure he’d never love another the same way.

This wasn’t just sex. Namjoon knew the difference now. What it really meant to be intimate with a partner. To share his body with someone not for a distraction or stroke his ego but for love. To draw closer with one another. This was it for him. You, it was always you. There would never be another. He started to rock into you, deep and slow, desperate to make you feel that.

You closed your eyes, losing yourself to the sensation. Needing more, you raised your hips to meet his thrusts and Namjoon took the hint, snapping his hips to meet yours faster. You cried out as he filled you again and again and again. Right now, you don't have to worry about future decisions. You didn’t have to think about all the conflicting feelings you had for this man.

Not that you could think about that anyways. Your senses were all wrapped up in how good Namjoon was making you feel. His pace was brutal just how you liked it, but his touch was nothing but kind. His hands trailed up to the small of your back keeping you close. Namjoon cupped your face as he kissed you; he only pulled away to rest his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes. You’d slept with Namjoon before, but something about this time was different. If you didn’t know any better—you’d think he was making love to you. He was so strong, yet so loving. You wished he could be this way with you always.

You wanted to stay here, savor this moment. But Namjoon was grinding his hips against yours in a way that had you breathless. You were so close. “Namjoon, I—”

“Come for me,” he said.

Growling, he thrust harder against you and reached down between your bodies to rub your clit, driving you towards your orgasm. Your pleasure built inside you, sweeping over your body like a wave until it crashed and washed over you, sending tremors down your body.

Feeling you come apart in his arms, Namjoon slowed his thrusts. You clenched around him till pleasure flooded his senses and he came too, burying his face in your neck and moaning out your name.

The only sound heard throughout the room was panting as the two of you came down from your highs. Namjoon brushed your hair away from your face and ran his thumb across your cheek.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice full of concern. He rolled off you and onto his side so as not to crush you but remained close, his skin flush against yours.

“Mhmm…” you hummed. You stared at the ceiling as your heart rate slowed back down. You were expecting to feel something. Regret...maybe relief?

You don’t know what you were hoping for. Maybe subconsciously you thought sleeping with Namjoon would help you come to some kind of resolution. A grand epiphany that would tell you what to do with your situation. But really you didn’t feel any different than you did before.

“What are you thinking about?”

You shake your head as if to shake all those thoughts out of your head. “Nothing.”

Namjoon didn’t press you, but the silent tension in the air gave you the impression that he wanted to ask for more.

You’ve never felt so divided. The ego in you wanted to walk away from it all. Say goodbye and cut your losses, no matter the cost. You made peace with leaving because you were so sure that Namjoon didn’t want you. You knew you couldn’t be with a man who had no love for you. But now, knowing that there was still love here. That he still cared, that you still cared. It changed things. You wanted it to work. But you weren’t sure if you could love him the same; there was always the issue of trust. How could you ever trust him again?

“I’m sorry,” said Namjoon. “I thought this was what you wanted.”

You turned to face him then, lying on your side. “It was what it wanted and now…” You trailed off, lost to your thoughts again. You had to think about it. Dig deep and really question what it was you were searching for.

“Now what? What do you need?” His expression was torn but honest.

So you asked for what you really wanted out of him. You asked for the truth.

“I need you to tell me everything.”

. . .

And he does. That night, as you bathe together, he finally tells you the truth. The whole truth.

When the sweat on your skin dried and became sticky, Namjoon ran a bath. You both got inside the clawfoot tub and sat on opposite sides, bodies intermingling as you faced each other. It was thick with quiet as the bath filled up with heated water.

At first, Namjoon hesitated. You could tell he wanted to spare your feelings. So he gave you the truths in little bits. Pieces of information you could swallow, like the names of his past lovers, and when each act happened. Then slowly, bigger chunks that had you holding your breath as you processed the facts of his betrayal. He told you about it all. About the weakness, the desperation, and the loneliness he felt on tour. The need to be touched and seen–really seen–by someone. Even if that someone wasn’t you. How one bad decision turned into two, turned into three. And the guilt. The guilt that accompanied the deception that rose and rose like high flames, eating him up inside.

By the time Namjoon’s done speaking, the water’s gone lukewarm, and your fingers were pruned, yet neither of you gets out of the bath. You let Namjoon bring you to close, till your back's up against his chest. He lathers his hands, and you let his calloused palms wash the pain away. Till the only thing you feel is his light touch. You repeat this action to him, stroking his skin with absolute ease. Then, and only then do you step out of the water. Namjoon drapes a fluffy white towel over your shoulder and wraps it around you.

He looks you in the eyes, and tells you that you're the only woman he’s ever loved. The only woman he would ever love. And you believe him.

. . .

That night, you lay down beside him exhausted. Not the kind of exhaustion that comes from lack of sleep or a long day at work. Not the weariness that leads to nights of deep slumber–no–this is the weariness that puts stress on your heart. The kind that leaves you feeling drained. Empty. Beside you, Namjoon sleeps, but you’re wide awake.

Every nerve in your body is begging for rest. But it’s your heart keeping you up tonight.

Heart over mind, mind over matter. You're split in both directions. Wanting to stay, and wanting to go. You told yourself that you were leaving. Walking away from it all.

But something felt wrong.

Everything was already moving in one way, but your heart was starting to face another. You still hadn’t made up your mind.

You lay in bed with your eyes closed and remembered the first time you left. Before you knew the truth, before you knew anything really, except for the fact that you didn’t want to live in a lie. You packed your bag and drove to Jackson’s, but you couldn’t make it through the night without breaking down and calling your mom. You spilled your heart to her, and she heard you, even through all the tears. You called to get everything off your chest, but you were also searching for answers. You were desperate for her to give you some kind of sign of what you were supposed to do or an out, but she didn’t.

“Do you remember when you were little, and you used to make sandcastles at the beach?” she asked. “You used to love playing in the sand. Barely even went in the water. You spent all day just creating something, building your own world.”

It caught you off guard. You were so shocked that for the first time in hours you stopped crying.

The memory was hazy in your mind, but you could still picture those summer days filled with warm golden sun, and the salty sea air.

“Some days as the sun set, the tide would come in and wash away everything you worked on. And you’d cry. Cry your little heart out. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than to pick you up, and hold you in my arms, comfort you. But you were at that age where you needed to start learning how to comfort yourself. So I let you cry. And after you’d got out all your tears, sometimes you’d start over. Dig your hands into the sand and start building all over again. Make something new. And sometimes you’d give up, walk away and come sit by me.”

“Yeah mom I remember...but, what does that have to do with anything?”

“You built your marriage with Namjoon on a foundation of love, faith, and trust. That’s your sandcastle. And now that trust has been washed away you don’t know what to do, and you're crying out for me. Baby, I love you, but you’re gonna have to make this decision for yourself. I can’t make it for you. Whatever you decide, I will be right behind you, supporting you. If you want to stay and find a way to be together I will be here. If you want to divorce him I’ll be here for that, too. But you have to decide.”

You let her words sink in. You knew she was right. But you were so frustrated, so overwhelmed you burst into tears again. “How am I supposed to decide? It’s so hard to know what choice is right.”

“I don’t–I don’t want to make a mistake…” You said through sobs.

“(Y/n), the only thing worse than staying or going, is you holding your breath and being indecisive. You have to make a choice. Decide.”

You couldn't think of how to act on your mother’s advice back then, but in the present, you understood. You squinted in the dark and looked at the time. The clock on your nightstand reads 5:22 AM in bold red letters. You hadn’t even realized you’d been up all night with your thoughts.

You looked over at the man causing you this great affliction. Pale moonlight streamed through the window illuminated his heart-shaped face. You once thought of him to be a monster, but he wasn’t. He was just human. And for once, you finally sorted your feelings about him. You weren’t in limbo anymore.

You knew your decision:

Leave him | Choose him

#bts fic #bts scenario #namjoon smut #namjoon angst #namjoon scenarios #reader x namjoon #my fics.🍪#poc reader #songfic #fic: promises

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sepublic · 9 months

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Luz Noceda 🤝 Miles Morales

Afro-latine teenagers with pressure on their shoulders to figure out their future, and also save the world. They love their parents and want to make them proud, but also struggle with lying to them, afraid they won’t be accepted for their strangeness. Bright, wonderful kids who meet friends from another world, and whose chosen future is to continue to engage with those other worlds and the family they made there. They’re separated from those worlds and work hard to get there, feeling lonely without the ones who understand.

They are regarded as anomalies, not fitting in with the world of others like them that they visit. They are born of chance and coincidence, and suffer a villain who is convinced of the connections and parallels they have; I made you, and you made me! But that villain wants to take away one of the families they’ve made. They question if they’re a real witch/Spider-Man with how unlike the others they are, but eventually embrace their unique identity and the unexpected advantages it has.

They struggle with the narrative, from a meta sense; They know how the story goes, the hero returns home from their adventure, the captain dies. But they hope to defy that ending and make their own, do their own thing. This puts them at odds with an older man who insists things must go a certain way, that there must be a sacrifice of some kind, particularly with their parents; But Luz and Miles ask, why do I have to choose? Why can’t we, and everyone else, have it all? Why not choose the path of compassion, instead of making others lose in order to grow? Their kindness affects those around them, sparing them what they themselves suffered, or are afraid to experience.

They’re kids caught between two worlds, but they’re also tired of being seen as just weak, ineffectual kids; They can do things too, they can fight and help! And make their own decisions! So when their mentor, a once-jaded person who got their life back together with the kid’s help, suggests sending that teen away for their own good… No, I’m staying here with all of you guys, because I love you, and I don’t have to lose my parents back at my other home either!

One could argue that these kids, by being involved, created a tragic story, made things worse by sparking the conflict at all, and they doubt themselves for that; Luz helped Philip Wittebane find the Collector, Miles took the place of Peter Parker, leading to his death. But they’re here, so they may as well make the most of it, choose themselves, and forge their own destinies. It’s okay, they can forgive themselves, too. They’re gonna rebel against the status quo to deconstruct it and change things, by asking critically; Why does it have to be this way? Question the rules, as a punk friend tells them.

Amity Blight 🤝 Gwen Stacy

On another note; White girlfriends to the above-mentioned with undercuts. Because of their own mistakes, said girlfriends lost a meek, glasses-wearing childhood friend that they saw themselves as a protector for; That friend was tired of the bullying and their anger boiled over into something destructive (and green), wanting to be seen as just as capable. Amity and Gwen struggle with a period of loneliness and isolation because of the loss of that friend, blaming themselves for what happened. They meet Luz and Miles under less than ideal circumstances, but manage to open up because of them.

Amity and Gwen struggle with approval and acceptance from their father, who works for the system and contributes to enforcing its oppression. But that father realizes he has alienated his daughter, who finds a different family without him, and chooses his child over the system, abandoning it to become a better person. Amity and Gwen both want to be with their loved ones, supporting them, and because of that break ties with the system and another parental figure. They make sure to rally the other friends their loved ones have made, to lift up the protagonist at their lowest points; They’ll answer the call to return the favor in their time of need.

#the owl house #across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderverse #Luz noceda #miles morales #amity blight #gwen Stacy #lumity #gwiles #parallels #meta

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thecruellestmonth · 1 year

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Dick & Jason fic recs

Some of the best fics featuring bickering, bonding, and brotherhood between Dick Grayson and Jason Todd.

"Secrets, Siblings, and Cigarettes" by CrimeAlley1048 - A young Jason Todd finds an uninvited guest at Wayne Manor.

"drawing lines in the sand" by acrobats - When Batman is injured, Nightwing and Robin have to patrol together. The only problem is that they can't stand each other.

"Call Me Hopeless" by incogneat_oh - Dick is so very tired. Love is stored in the brotherhood.

The Art of Bird Metaphor by lowflyingfruit - Batman works alone. Everyone knows that. What Jason's learning is that he also has a penchant for picking up strays. And while Jason's just your common or garden Gotham street rat, Bruce's other stray, Richard, is an ex-assassin for the Court of Owls. An ex-assassin for the Court of Owls who hates Jason's guts. Adjusting to life in Wayne Manor was hard enough already.

"the long lost art of killing it dead" by dustorange - Red Hood is a criminal, so it doesn't make sense why he would bother dragging Nightwing back to Dick Grayson's apartment and bandaging his potentially deadly gunshot wounds. What makes even less sense is why Hood keeps coming back. (AKA another "Dick redeems Red Hood with the power of affection" fic but with even less mental stability.)

"catch and release" by hellsreluctantheir - Dick tries to catch Jason. [Whumptober with hurt Dick]

"Proper Procedures for Undercover Missions" by solomonara - Dick shows off his master detective skills, tracks down Jason, and runs a refresher course on the proper procedure for undercover missions.

"like falling water" by naheka - All Jason wanted to do was take a nap and pull one over on Bruce. Trust Dick to go ahead and ruin everything.

"see my other side" by deepestbluesky- Red Hood rebrands.

"fortune telling and speculative science" by knowsphere - Nightwing and Red Hood face uncertain doom.

"Bow to the Crown" by hauntedlittledoll - Dick is down for the count. Jason delivers a monologue to poor Damian.

"Upside Down" by withthekeyisking - Something that was not on Jason's agenda for the night, but somehow now is: take care of the de-aged version of his big brother, who is—in his tiny mind—apparently running away from juvie.

"Equivalent Exchange" by Lysical - Dick leaned over and pinched his cheek. Jason reached up and swiped at him, scowling. Dick calls in an old favor owed by Jason.

"Oh How the Turntables" by Lysical - Nearly drowning in Gotham Harbor means that it's Dick who is in the care of a concerned sibling. He's not prepared to go down without a fight, though.

"Always Someone Better" by lowflyingfruit - What Jason hadn't known when Batman scooped him off the streets was how much it sucked to be the second and second-best child. Five times Jason felt inferior to Dick, and a reversal he didn't savour like he thought he would.

"Home Intrusion" by daedalusdavinci - Dick feels overwhelmed by depression. Jason is a chaotic blend of unapologetically annoying and insufferably caring. ♡

"A little more heart and soul" by ruesyblues - Dick wants Damian to be happy. He just has no clue how to accomplish that.

Honorable mentions:

"scout's honour" by orphan_account - Jason meets his older brother for the first time. Alternatively: local children solve murders and hate their dad.

"One Bird, Two Bird, Red Bird, Dead Bird" by blacklettered - In which Jason Todd is dead, and Dick is fine.

"lonely town" by TheResurrectionist - Bruce doesn’t kill the Joker. But that was Dick’s little brother, damn it. Major character death, intense grief, death wishes, extreme peril, self-destructive behavior.

"haunt the blood" by wednesday - Hood walks into the warehouse and about a dozen feet in his steps falter. The helmet hides his face, but the way his muscles tense spell out danger in a way that makes Dick instantly wary. He’d rather not get handed over to any masked villains, Hood included.

"Convergence" by meaninglessblah - Dick volunteers to unmask the Red Hood rogue who's been meddling in Roman's business. The enigma Dick finds seems more intent on unmasking him. Villainous Red Hood.

"Pastrami on Rye" by sister_wolf - "You want a sandwich?" Jason Todd -- fucking Jason Todd -- asked off-handedly as he walked into the kitchenette of the small, dingy apartment. "Oh, right, you can't answer right now. Well, I want a sandwich, so you get one too." Hostility, bitterness, villainous Red Hood.

"Not A Brother Not A Friend" by kleine_aster - Nightwing helps the wanted villain Red Hood recover from fear toxin—though they are not brothers, and they are not friends.

"A Christmas Miracle" by Mithen - Damian and Dick go undercover to bust a child-kidnapping ring whose members dress up as Santa Claus.

"provisional kindred soul" - two guys sit on a roof and talk around their childhoods. Warning for crappy dad Bruce.

"New Life, New Leaf" by CrimeAlley1048 - Jason Todd gives the "no killing" rule a try.

"Like Father" by Wisetypewriter - Scarlet & Dick, Scarlet & Jason. Jason, Dick privately recalled, was ironically the one that took after Bruce's adoption addiction the most.

Two Dead Birds by InsaneTrollLogic - There's some lunatic in a red helmet running through Jason's territory. He wants to think it's a copy cat. He's wrong. "UtRH" time travel redux, Jason-centric.

"See No Evil" by cherrysour - Jason has never been great at feelings, and seeing strong, independent Nightwing blind and alone brings up too many of them. Jason never stopped idolizing Dick.

"occam's razor" by BeatriceEagle - An Internet community discusses the mysterious death of a billionaire's son.

"Joking" by CrimeAlley1048 - Dick has to put in entirely too much effort to wish his brother a happy birthday.

"It's Tomb Time" by FleetSparrow - Tiny vignette. When Dick and Jason have to investigate an old tomb, Jason doesn't like it one bit. And makes it known. Repeatedly.

"Save Me From Tears" by Shenanigans - Jason's gift isn't expensive; it's priceless.

"Through Me Tell the Story" by diefleder_tey - Jason takes Dick to his favorite bookstore and tasks him with finding a certain book; it doesn't end like he expects.

"for one more moment" by renecdote - Hurt/comfort, Dick is self-sacrificing, Jason is worried angry.

"Changes" by HoodEx - Dick copes with his depression in a certain way, much to the horror of his family. Jason helps him through it.

"Rumours Of My Death" by WordsAblaze - Dick and Jason end up sharing a messy but much-needed emotional moment in a graveyard. Set during the Spyral arc.

"Down to the Dregs" by firefright - The fallout of the Joker war and Dick getting his memory back is far messier than some in his family would like to acknowledge. But to the surprise of them both, Jason, out of all people, is willing to listen. Content warning: Ric arc, "City of Bane", "The Joker War", and other frustrating canon events referenced.

"the past doesn’t die" by Phidippus - Their lives have never been simple, but Dick and Jason come to find that some bonds last through death.

"Relax" by thebluemango - Dick is cold and bleeding. When he gets rescued, even in his disoriented brain he wants to stay strong for his littlest brothers. Little does he know, he can just relax.

"Fabric Softener" by ceruleon - As the title implies, this story is way soft. Feel-good fluff.

Red X by ilovelegendsalot - A rather painstakingly canon-compliant Teen Titans 2003 cartoon fic, in which Jason Todd steals the Red X suit from his older brother.

Bad Company by LilRedRobinHood - Deathstroke's son is dead and he demands an apprentice to pay off the blood debt--Robin, specifically. While the already-grieving Dark Knight's investigation devolves into a self-destructive spiral, Dick clings stubbornly to his ideals…and somewhere along the line he might end up accidentally befriending his dead brother. Work in progress, last updated in 2022.

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 2 months

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Jack Harlow: “don��t tell me you’re having nightmares again”

"Hello?"

You struggled to get your first word out, surprised when Jack picked the phone up on the first ring. "Hello?", he asked again, when you didn't say anything.

"Sorry, I thought you'd be sleep already. Didn't think you'd answer the phone, actually." You weren't sure why you were calling Jack. Your relationship had run its course, and after a year of dating, you could honestly say you were working to be friends afterwards, a true rarity in your dating life, and most days, you felt like you had moved on.

Still, there were some nights where you were painfully lonely and missed his touch and the sound of his voice.

Tonight was the first time you actually got the courage to do something about your feelings, but really hadn't thought through much of the plan besides selecting his contact in your phone and hitting the call button.

"Everything okay?" You could tell from his groggy voice that he was tired, a tone you recognized very well. He was always moving, his career was very demanding, and it was one of the reasons you decided to end things. You just couldn't keep up, and after a couple of months of trying, you realized you just didn't want to.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. How are you?" Jack was quiet as he stroked at his beard. The pain in his chest he felt as you spoke took his breath away. He missed you a lot more than he would ever admit to you or anyone else, and he was worse for wear after your relationship ended.

The breakup was not his decision, and in fact, he would have fought harder to keep you, but when you told him your reasoning, he thought it better to let you go then let his pride get in the way.

Instead, he let it eat him up inside, a lot of sleepless nights and isolation behind and in front of him.

He wanted to scream, cry, tell you how much he missed and loved you, but instead, he put on a fake smile, knowing he had to make this a convincing lie. "I'm good. Thanks for asking."

"Sorry, were you sleeping? I know its late." You pulled your phone from your ear to check the time. It was after midnight in Louisville.

"No, I don't do a lot of that lately", Jack let out a humorless chuckle, raking a hand through his messy curls.

"Don't tell me you're having nightmares again." You would never forget the nights you laid next to Jack as he whimpered through one of the many nightmares he had. It broke your heart every time, and you wanted to help, but he always brushed you off when you brought it up, telling you not to worry.

"Okay, I won't." Jack didn't even bother to fake a laugh, as he didn't find any humor in the topic.

"I'm here if you want to talk about it." You dug your nails into your thigh to stop yourself from pressing any further. Now that you weren't together anymore, you had even less of a right to ask him about something so personal.

"No offense, but I know you didn't call to talk about my sleeping habits", Jack said in jest, earning a small giggle from you.

You let out a sigh. There were so many things you wanted to say, but it felt too little, too late. "You're right, Jack, I didn't call about that." You hung your head, resting your elbows on your thighs.

Jack was quick to fill the silence. He'd had enough of that lately and it was killing him. "Is something wrong? You can tell me if there is." He paused, this time letting the silence consume him, with nothing else to say.

"Jack, I still love you."

The words came out faster than your brain could catch up, and you immediately regretted them. You hung up the call in a moment of regret, tossing your phone on the bed. You clamped a hand over your mouth as you felt yourself begin to hyperventilate.

"I still love you too, baby." Jack confessed to the dial tone, closing his eyes as he felt them start to sting with tears.

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jackharlow #jackman harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfic

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xothatnerdykid · 7 months

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love you like oxygen

Your pro hero boyfriend has barely been home the past few weeks because of his hectic schedule, so you decide to surprise him when's patrolling one night and steal some of his time (as well as a few kisses). Aizawa Shouta x fem! reader. Sliiiight NSFW (definitely suggestive, bordering on foreplay). 1.3k words.

Dating Shouta could be hard sometimes. His life is a constant juggle between being a UA teacher by day, a pro hero by night, and a single dad to 23 kids on top of being your boyfriend. So, of course, you understand it can be challenging to find some quality time with him.

Although you’ve only been together for less than a year, you don't really go out on dates anymore. Because when you used to eat out at quiet restaurants or take a walk through the park, he usually couldn't make it through the whole date without getting an urgent phone call about school or his hero work, and then having to excuse himself. Eventually, you get so tired of having to finish your dinner by yourself or go home alone that you start spending most of your free time waiting for him in his apartment.

Most days he gets home at a somewhat reasonable hour, all things considered, and you happily spend your time together eating the dinner you cooked for him and just lounge around and talk until you fall asleep. Then you like to lie in bed in the morning and watch him gear up and get ready, even helping him shave or share a coffee together before he has to kiss you goodbye while you start getting ready for work, too. It’s nice, you think, to share all these mundane moments of everyday life with him.

But he’s been coming home so late the past few days that you’re usually already asleep. And the only thing you wake up to is a plate of breakfast on the table and a little text telling you to have a great day.

After two weeks, you decide you’re tired of missing him and get off work early to surprise him.

You briefly wonder if it was even a good idea to come looking for him when he’s out on patrol, given the hectic (and dangerous) nature of his work. You didn't want to get in the way or distract him too much from anything important he might be doing, especially not if it meant putting anyone at risk.

So you call Hizashi to ask if he might know where your boyfriend is, and you tell him about your little plan. He says it should be fine if you catch him by the time he’s usually on break, and he helps you track Shouta’s patrol route for the night. You thank him before you hang up and head out.

_________________________________________

Although you had meant to surprise him, you suppose he’s just too good at his job to let you. You startle a little when he catches you, and you turn around to face him. He’s hanging upside down from a fire escape with his goggles obscuring his eyes.

You don’t doubt that it’d be an intimidating sight to anyone else; this tall, imposing man, blending in so well with the dark and moving so quickly and quietly in the shadows. But seeing him silhouetted against the glow of the city lights with a small smirk playing on his lips just makes you realise how much you miss him. And how much you want to show him that.

"Fancy running into you here, stranger." His deep, raspy voice comes out teasing and flirty.

A warmth spreads over you at the sound and you take a step closer. “Hey there, hero. I could say the same to you.”

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of this lovely surprise?"

You smile softly, reaching up to touch his face, tracing his jawline. “I was hoping you could help me with my little problem.”

He chuckles, his upside-down grin nearly disarming. "Whatever it is, I’m all yours.”

“You see, my boyfriend hasn’t been coming home for the past few days and I've been feeling a little lonely lately because of it.” You pout a little.

“Is that so?” His hand finds its way to the small of your back, pulling you a fraction closer. The simple gesture, tender and affectionate, sends shivers down your spine. You lean into his touch, the feeling of his hand against your skin comforting. “Do you want me to keep you company then?”

You nod, dipping your head slightly so your lips softly brush against his. The anticipation builds like an electric charge in the air. His closeness is intoxicating and you feel your heart race, each beat like a drum echoing your desire for him.

“Like I said,” he breathes, his thumb lightly grazing your lips. “I’m all yours.”

Your hands trail down to his eyes to pull his goggles down, and you smile at the look on his face. “There you are, handsome.”

You grab his jaw and kiss him like you’ve been wanting to all week, molding your lips against his with a burning desire to be closer. Your hands find their way to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in and fisting his unruly hair until you feel him groan.

"I've — missed you," you murmur against his lips between kisses, savoring the taste and warmth of his mouth.

"Kitten, you have no idea how much I've missed you," he growls, his voice low and husky. You reach for him again, but he pulls away. You’re about to ask why when he flips himself right-side up, landing effortlessly on the ground to tower over you.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all week.” He pins you against the alleyway, both his palms flat against the surface beside your face, and he draws you closer until you're flush against him. “Thinking about all the things I want to do to you.”

Your breath catches in your throat when you feel his knee slowly creeping up between your legs, and he crashes his lips into yours once more.

The taste of him is deliciously exhilirating, the sensation of his skin against yours a heady concoction that sends your senses into a whirl.

"Then why — don’t you—" You try to gasp, “Stop — thinking — and just —”

Unable to form a coherent thought anymore as he kisses you senseless, you reach behind you instead to touch his hand and trail your fingers up his arm, over his chest, and down his abs, feeling his toned muscles through the fabric of his shirt. You hook your finger through his belt to pull him closer.

Feeling his hips slot against yours knocks the air from your lungs.

“Shouta,” you can’t help but whine and roll your hips against him, desperately seeking friction.

His hands grip you tighter as he groans into your mouth. He stops to look at you — your dark, blown out pupils, chest panting and face flushed with desire — and grabs your jaw, smirking. “You know I can't resist you when you're like this, right, kitten?”

You smile slowly through the haziness of the desire clouding your mind.

“Tell you what. Why don’t you go back home first,” He leans in to press a lingering kiss behind your ear, stroking your hair. “And I promise I won’t be far behind?”

“You’re no fun,” You protest petulantly, fingers clutching at his shirt. “Can’t you take a day off from saving the world just for one night?”

He smiles at you softly. “I’m sorry, love, for today and all the days before that I haven’t been around much,” He takes your hands and brings it up to his mouth, looking into your eyes as he kisses your knuckles. “I intend to be plenty fun when I get home later. How’s that sound?”

Your cheeks warm at his words and all the things they make you imagine. “Don’t take too long, then.”

“I won’t. I’m counting down the seconds as we speak.”

With one last stolen, tender kiss, Shouta watches you leave before he heads back out into the night. The ache of having to say goodbye again is softened by the sincerity in his promise of making up for lost time and the eager anticipation of being in his arms soon.

(The noise complaint you get from his neighbor the next day is a small price to pay, and it makes him laugh a little when you show it to him, so…even just for that…)

#aizawa shouta #bnha shouta aizawa #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa x reader #mha aizawa #bnha aizawa #aizawa sensei #eraserhead #aizawa imagine #aizawa shouta imagine #aizawa shouta x you #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa shouta x y/n #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #aizawa x you #chloe writes #chloe's fics

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ronearoundblindly · 2 months

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Steve Rogers, number 4, a kiss where it hurts (imagine him making it stop hurting) xxx

*no pairing listed but could work in Fools Rush In, It Had To Be You, Autumn Is Healing, Threadbare, or as a stand alone. While those series do specify female readers, this is written gender neutral. He calls you 'sweetheart' one time.

A Dark Day and A Bright Night, one of my Valentine's Fics of 2024

Warning only for description of a bad mental health time. (I know not everyone experiences this in the same way, but I tried to cover the gist and focus on Steve's comfort of you.) Otherwise, just sweet, caring fluff! WC 1781

There are invisible barriers everywhere, and they stop no one but you.

No one else can hear the muddled whispers of what else you could have done, what more you should have accomplished, how disappointing it is that anything took so long.

You can’t do any better. You can’t go any farther. There’s a line in the sand no one can see. Sometimes, no one can see you.

Nothing matches up. Work fast-forwards around you in chaos while you slog through, treading water with all the energy of someone who has been out at sea alone for days and days. You grow so tired.

There are moments you power through, mind racing to gain lost ground on an endless, looped track. You grow so tired, and it’s never just one thing. It’s water and sand and nothing all at once, vast forces beyond your control.

What else? What more? Why so long?

There are barriers no one else can see, and it’s not their fault because it doesn’t match up. We move through life at different paces. We experience different struggles. We are stopped by different forces.

“How was work?” Steve asks, a chipper smile on his face as he places dinner in front of you.

“Fine.” There are no other words.

“Really? Seems the project is right on schedule, thanks to you.”

You see him pause before he takes his first bite, and rush to pick up your fork, knowing it’s best to participate, knowing the barriers may be invisible but effort is not.

He eats his mouthful, and you stare.

Dinner isn’t a line in the sand, but it feels like one, another interaction you’ll be disappointing in, another fear you can’t explain.

“Not my best work, but it got done,” you manage, mechanically feeding yourself, showing the effort, making a show of the effort. “How was your day?”

It’s a flat question. The response is muddled by water and wind and doubt.

Why can’t you focus? Why can’t you do better for him? Why does he stay?

Steve can’t see any of it. He can’t get to you because there’s no one place you’re trapped in.

You do the dishes. You watch TV. You start your bedtime ritual, and you’ve participated as little—and as much—as possible because treading water is lonely. You grow so tired.

Tomorrow could be better. You can do better tomorrow. It’ll take effort.

Tomorrow you’ll work harder and you’ll be less afraid. But that’s what you thought the last time you were stuck. That’s what you think each time you find a line in the sand.

You stare at your reflection, still treading, still scared, still misaligned.

“Did you hear me?” Steve loosely holds you with his palm on your hip. Standing behind you, face sullen in the mirror, he asks where you’re hurting.

To Steve, there has to be a solution. Each mission must have a goal.

You spit, rinse, and put your toothbrush in the holder.

“Just tired.” That’s the sand he cannot see.

“Seems like more than ‘just tired,’” he huffs, unsatisfied, and turns you toward him. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing you can help with.” That’s the water he cannot navigate.

You’re on your own.

He smirks humorlessly. “That’s never stopped me before.”

But you don’t have the words. All that comes out is “my head.”

“Headache?” He reaches for the medicine cabinet. “You need some—“

You shake your physically fine skull. “No. It’s not a headache.”

Steve’s face…changes in a way you’ve never seen before. You expected confusion, perhaps pity, but this is something all-together reminiscent. His eyes dart around the bathroom like he’s taking inventory, and for the first time today you aren’t the most distracted person in the room.

Then he returns to you.

“I think I’d like a nice bath. Will you join me?”

He sets it all up, using the best smelling bubbles, setting out the softest towels, and inviting you back into the little spa he created by handing you a lovely chocolate.

When you try to refuse because you’ve already brushed your teeth, he replies, “live dangerously,” and pops a bonbon for himself.

Hopefully, it is dark enough for Steve to miss the tears in your eyes.

He lets you settle in the water against him, playing by splashing warmth over the parts not submerged. He kisses your shoulders and neck, the back of your head. Steve keeps himself attached by the lips, breathing you in but feeling so far away. Your mind wanders to nowhere, thinking nothing.

“Feels good—I mean, bett—feels okay, yeah?”

He suds up his hands and washes a bit of you, but your muscles are tight and curled.

You’re tucked into yourself, small as can be.

“Can you try to relax for me, sweetheart? Can you let yourself float?”

The tub works for a guy Steve’s size. There’s a little space but not enough to stretch out completely.

The tension in your body is slow to release. You manage to let your arms, knees, and feet peak through the bubble clouds.

Steve nudges, “and your neck?”

You didn’t realize you were holding it up.

There is infinite space to lay flat in your endless sea. Floating offers a respite, a view of the sky, the same sky blanketing your beach.

Invisible barriers at least spare the scenery.

You and Steve watch the fragrant foam burst for a while. It takes you much longer to truly relax back into Steve. The quiet of the bath drowns you with the noise in your head.

What else? What more? Why so slow?

It’s never just one thing. It is all things, all at once, and nothing at all. All of the elements to survival and understanding are there if you just focus your attention, if you just put in the effort, but you are so tired.

Steve wraps you in his arms to press you deeper into his chest.

“Sometimes my ma would burn dinner,” he starts quietly, voice rough from holding back all his questions you can’t answer, “and we would scramble around, combing the cupboards. We’d make the oddest meals out of bits and bobs. Maybe half of it, we should’a never touched, but we did what we had to. Ya know what? Those were some of the best times. We did the best we could with what we had—sometimes less—and that’s what made her so amazing. On what she probably considered her worst days,” Steve kisses behind your ear, “I admired her the most. Formed some of the best memories.”

“Let me guess. Because she smiled the whole way through?”

“Nah,” he muses, chuckling enough to shake you in the water, “she threw a pan once. Loosened the door of the stove she slammed it shut so hard. She cried usually until we were sat down eating. Always tried to give me the most food because I was so small…

“I made it a game. I only took a bite if she did. Win-win.”

He stays quiet for a beat, assured you’re hearing him.

“You’re not ruining anything by crying,” he says solidly, almost loud in the confines of the bathroom. “Good things can still happen. You still did good today.”

He continues. He details little things he admires about you; how hard you work for yourself, for him, he notices all that. He wants you to see what he sees.

There’s no barrier stopping him.

The water turns tepid, and Steve gets out first to ready a towel for you. There’s a difference between him treating you like a china doll and his doll. His doll is not breakable. He isn’t gentle because you are fragile; he does it to preserve you for the next day, and the next. Steve refuses to place any more burden on you than already falls.

He’s right there, strong, noble, and determined with forces working against him.

He’s scared and he doesn’t understand. He can’t fight. He has to scramble to catch up, to change plans, to make a meal out of nothing, to turn nothing into something. He doesn’t understand why he’s in a different sea, or why he can’t get to you standing on the same damn beach. His hand is right there on the barrier, but his shouts are muddled.

It’s not fair, and it never will be.

He physically lifts you up, wrapped in a plush bath sheet, his hug strong enough to thump against that clear wall that springs from your line in the sand.

That’s when you realize the barrier isn’t impenetrable. You can still see the scenery. You can still hear muddled sounds.

Some of his voice gets through. Sunlight and warmth get through. The water still buoys you up.

If there are directions to go, there are paths to take.

If there are ways in, there are ways out.

There are invisible barriers everywhere, but they don’t stop Steve from being there for you.

One more chocolate. One more brush of your teeth. You trade the fluffy wrap of a towel with the cozy wrap of a t-shirt, and he makes sure you’re comfortable.

A simple goodnight kiss alone might tip you over into exhausted euphoria, but Steve is not that kind of simple.

He props himself up on an elbow and rolls you onto your back.

Kissing your right temple, he whispers, “I love you.” Kissing your left temple, he confesses, “I love your voice,” the peak of your forehead, “I love your spirit,” between your eyebrows, just above one ear, and the other.

“Miss you when I’m not here. Miss you when you’re not here. I miss you even in my dreams.”

Then, and only then, do you get that simple kiss goodnight. His soft lips melding to yours for a long, soothing moment before you two drift off to sleep.

When you dream of a beach and an ocean and nothing at all, you miss him, too. You remember his presence, and the truth becomes as clear as the sky above.

There are pieces of you to love. You are a loved thing. You are light and heat and sound that can get through, even when misaligned, even when you don’t match up, even when not in the same sea.

Steve’s love is invisible, but you know it’s there. It’s not a limit to fear. It’s not a barrier to turn away from. His love is not an obstacle you want to get past.

Not every invisible force is bad.

Sometimes, barriers slow you down, let you listen, make you rest, and help you float.

There are barriers everywhere, but nothing between you and Steve.

Ransom Drysdale and a kiss out of spite ⬅️ ➡️ Ari Levinson and a kiss out of envy

A/N: oof. *walks away crying* I'm fine. It's fine.

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @spectre-posts @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @deandreamernp @im-a-slut-for-fluff @fangirl-swagg @georgeweaslysgirl @austynparksandpizza @claireelizabeth85 @jamneuromain @shelbygeek @rogersideup @eyebagsanonymous @trudy-shams @saranghaey @awkwardgiraffe726 @rach2602 @royalwritersoftheuniverses @rogersbarber

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curvykittyyssmutfics · 2 months

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mentor!Kishibe

mentor!Kishibe is very aware of your secret attraction towards him. Has to use every ounce of his will to convince himself that its onesided, just a young woman with a crush. But he'd have to be blind not to notice the subtle shift from the student/teacher vibe between y'all two when you finally complete his extensive training. It's been 3 years. Granted he deemed you at peak less than a year in, and now he had nothing left to teach you. Knows it's already incredibly suspicious and selfish keepin you from your aspirations this long. Still.. "Sure you don't wanna go private?" Kishibe takes a swig from his flask, tired eyes trained on the newest addition to the eerily desolate cemetery. "Tsk. Don't ask somethin you have no intention of doin yourself. Real funny way of askin me to stay.." You get no reply. The tense silence stretches on, so many words on the tip of his tongue. He eventually settles with a dry "Then congratulations, kid: It's graduation day." You frown, dreading this moment almost as much as the thought of never finding the gun devil. Feels just as despairing as you thought it would. Staring at the side of his handsome downcast face, admiring the crinkle round his eye. "Will you miss me?" Kishibe solemn eyes finally meets your imploring gaze, not needing even a second to think about your question. Uses the back of his hand to gently sweep your braids off your shoulder as he offers you a small forced smile. "Course, sweetheart. You already know.." Your heart skips a beat to the simple touch and new pet name. Know what? But then Kishibe's droppin his hand. Turns on his heel, stridin to the exit without another word. "Goodbye.." The strong gusts of wind the only witness to your anguished whisper.

mentor!Kishibe makes it a point to keep his distance from you. Even with workin in the same sector, its a whole year before you see him again. Makima finally wore em down into comin out to eat with a few fellow hunters. "Two minutes. Then we're done here." She only smiles at him, watchin as he sits stiff refusing to touch his plate of food. Kishibe ignores the flow of conversation, his mind wondering what you were up to for the evening. Imagine his surprise when he sees your pretty ass walk through the door, his insides twisting and knotting at the sight of you. Uniform pants huggin your shapely frame; white shirts sleeves rolled up to the elbows, first couple buttons undone and givin him the tiniest peak at your mouth watering cleavage. So fuckin gorgeous to Kishibe. Almost exactly how he'd last seen you. Your face is different thought.. Just as beautiful but he knows that gaunt look only too well. Your hairs changed too, now in y/h/c wavy layered tresses down your back. There's nothing on planet earth that can get either of you to unlock eyes as you freeze on the spot. You weren't sure when you'd see him again; if his petty ass would continue to dodge you till the end of time. But inna instant, it's like just the two of you exist. Nothing else in the world matters but how much you want and miss him.. Till you remember the cruel and sudden way he chose to snatch himself from your life, leaving you heartbroken. And more lonely than necessary, especially considering the profession. The thought has you spinnin on the spot and storming from the restaurant. Makima digs her elbow into Kishibe's side. "I'm not saying fall in love. But find a piece of happiness for yourself, even if you believe it to be fleeting." He doesn't say a word. Knows right away her sneaky ass had somethin to do with this crap. Puttin on his shoes and coat, he heads out. Doesnt grace a single soul at the the table with a goodbye, leaving for home with a scowl and a dark cloud over his head. Kishibe knew comin to this shit show was a fuckin mistake.

mentor!Kishibe is so fuckin stubborn that he goes another 6 months without you in his life before almost goin off the deep end. The gaping hole in his already miserable existence seems to physical weaken him. Kishibe can't eat, think or fuckin sleep anymore. Drinks more and focuses less on his goals at work, even skippin out some days to secretly pop up to check on you. But you never see him, even when you feel a pair of unknown eyes on you every now and again. He continues to watch from afar when you patrol, missin the way you'd accompany him on his. Longing to hear your sweet giggles when he'd say something dark or give you a taste of that dry humor. The only woman that got him to open up bout what makes him drown his sorrows in liquor. And even indulge less. Needs that connection with you again. He's startin to care less and less how hes too old, too much of a brute that might be incapable of giving what you need. And in fully recognizing that.. Kishibe can't be without you much longer. The only semblance of peace is late at night when he gives in to the madness that haunts him, pumpin at his angry agitated cock while you consume his mind. "Ohhh fuck, y/nnn.. Touch me, sweetheart.." Head dipped back into his pillow, moaning low imagining the his grip to be the warm wet clutch of your tight lil puss. Perspiration drippin down his nude frame, muscles spasming from how good it feels. "Tell me you want me.." Drivin him insane rememberin every scar, dimple, beauty mark peekin from your formal public safety uniform. "Want you so bad, pretty girl." Wish he could listen to how you pant after a strenuous session, tiny huffs akin to what he thinks you sound like if he sucked at your clit. "Bet you like that, huh?" Fucks his fist quicker to the thought, strokes awkward from how infrequently he masturbates. How sensitive would you be? Would you moan or scream? Buck and hump against his face, grind his lips for maximum pleasure? "Thats it. Take what you need greedy girl." Or maybe run from it. Yank at his short hair while tryin to escape, his name stuttering out on broken moans and pleas for reprieve as he forces you to cum. "Y/nnn!" Kishibe unloads allover his fist to the conjured imagery. Sputtering your name over and over as his nut spurts thickly in the air, splattering his muscled thighs audibly.

mentor!Kishibe knows things have gone all the way left when liquor stops helping to numb the pain of your abscence. Shows up to your spot in the middle of the night with a crazed look in his eye, bangin on your door like he was outta his damn mind. "What do you want Kishibe?" You snap after eyeing him through the peephole, swinging open your front door. Even through your outrage, you're immediately aware of the deep dark circles underneath his eyes. Or the prominent wrinkles in his suit jacket and pants, but most importantly the exclusion of that dank smell of whiskey. Your stunned he isn't stone cold drunk. But his attention is on the fact you're only in an oversized black tee, hair inna a cute messy bun. Smooth brown legs and pert nipple prints on display for his greedy gaze. Doesn't have very high hopes with hidin how his dick starts to chub, trying his damnest not to stare at the exposed skin. "Y/n, sweet girl.. Missed you so fuckin much. I'm so sor-" Kishibe steps a foot forward into your home, arms outstretched to embrace you but you sidestep him, smackin away his hands. "Fuckin kidding me right?" He's never touched you unless you guys were training, but back then you had always hoped for it. Dreamed of it. Even now your body yearns for him to hold you, caress you.. To fuck you. Traitorous pussy started to moisten, nipples stiffening the moment you opened the door. But you're fuckin hurt! "Y/n-" "What?! Thought you could ghost me then slide through for a quick fuck?" Your tone makes his heart clench. Kishibe can't believe you think that's what you mean to him. His face falls a bit and he drops his arms. "No, never. I missed you so mu-" "You said that already, Kish." Another interruption paired with a severe eye roll. "Babygirl, hear me out. You have every right to kick my ass and send me off. I'm sor-" "Yeah, you said that already too. Either tell me why you left me or get the fuck out." He takes a deep breath before puttin his heart on the line for the first time in his life. "I'ma fool, y/n. An old fool that had no intention of ever fallin in love. Not with the life we lead. You know as well as I that only swift violent death awaits all of us. But then I met you." Kishibe reaches for you again and but this time you allow him to link fingers, his words sinkin deep; they were very true. "Mourning hurts worse the more you care. I didn't want that for you. Just wanna protect you sweetheart. Even from myself. You mean everything to me and I dont deserve you.. What if i can't make you happy?" You mull over his words for a second. "So you denied me my dick, which woulda made me estatic by the fuckin way, all in the name of protectin me from grieving?" You clarify in disbelief. He gives you a short nod, cock twitchin at your admission. "Fuckin stupid, Kish. Everyone at work can see you're all i need to be happy. And we all die! No matter the jobs we pursue. What's wrong with enjoying each other till then?" You ask, palming up his abs to rest your hands on his chest. Wow. He never thought of it like that. Such a intelligent girl, but he always knew it. Though he tells you anyway. "When you become smarter than me, babygirl?" Kishibe asks, tuggin you against his well defined frame. Arms wrapping around you tight, dippin down to massage your backside as he noses up your neck, inhaling your fresh, feminine scent. "Haven't I always been?" You hug around his neck as he hums in agreement at your throat, tiltin your head to offer him more access. The need for his cock to mold your desperate cunt to the shape of him is overpowering when you feel it press firm against you. "Come in, Kishibe. Need you so much. Don't make me wait anymore." Connecting your lips to his, moaning when he passionately reciprocates as you yank him inside by his the collar of his shirt.

mentor!Kishibe hasn't had the luxury to relieve himself in weeks; can't even remember the last time he's gotten do it with someone other than himself. So he's absolutely unprepared when you unzip his slacks, push him to the bed, turn and hastily sit on his dick. "Holy shit, baby girl!" His fingers dig into your hips bruisingly, trying to lift you off his hypersensitive leaky length. Soft heat drenchin him, erratic flutter of your walls buildin that familiar pulsing swirl in his gut. Feels pathetic that he's already fighting back nuttin inside your perfect lil snatch. Mind reeling at finally gettin a taste of your bomb ass coochie, and the fact you aint have no panties on when you scolded him at your front door earlier. "Pussys too tight, worlds best cock sleeve baby. Mmm.. Oh shit- get up! Lemme breathe honey. Been too fuckin long, dont wanna buss yet." But you fight against his attempts to unsheathe himself, moanin as his words replay in your head. Leanin back into his strong chest as his scent clouds your mind, reachin back to grip tight at his freshly cut soft blonde locks. "Nooo, Kish! Don't make me wait anymore. N-need it so bad. 'S so big, feels so good inside me. Don't make me stop, pleeease. Gimme my dick, baby. Waited long enough right? Waited like a good girl?" Kishibe clenches his gut tight, noddin his head swiftly. Your filthy pleas, how you frantically mouth and suck on his neck, pullin his short hair hard, makin his fat balls buzz pleasantly. "Yes, yes. Ughnn fuh-uck.. Such a good girl, my best girl.. So please sweetheart, slow the fuck down less you want this shit to be over with already." He's sits tense, so fuckin on edge tryin not cum, not even sure you hear anything after 'good girl'. "Y/n?" "Kishibeee.." Your immediate dazed moan back to him doesnt sound promising on followin orders. Fuck! He assumes even with bitin off more than your lil puss can chew, you've been plottin all this time to take matters into your own hands. Always the clever girl. And so goddamn impatient. "Oh fuck, y/nnn.. Gonna give you what you want, just w-wait‐ wait a second honey!" Fuck that shit. "No." You huff, makin his pretty eyes narrow at your new found disobedience. "Little girl, stop. Right now. Dont make me- haaah!" Threat cut short when you grind and roll your hips into his before leanin on his knees to tentatively bounce on his dick. "Ohmygod! Knew you'd fuck me so good. Ohfuuuck! Waited too long for this good dick. So worth it, so so worth it!" You keen, tossin your head back at him diggin you out, body tremblin how he stretches your delicate walls round his thick girth more than any man ever had.

Kishibe eyes widen at your antics, grip at your hips useless as you keep a tight hold of the reins and fuck him a bit quicker. Tits jigglin under your tee, clit throbbin for attention as you use his dick to knock into that ridged pleasure button inside you. "Fuck me, Kishi! Show me how much you missed me. Yeees, yes- right there!" The intense sensation rapidly formin in the depths of your tummy is frighteningly mind numbing but you chase it anyway. Fuckin him vigorously, nails diggin into his knees as you both near whats sure to be orgasms for the history books. "Shiiit! Gonna make me buss so fuckin h-hard, honey.." "Then buss for me. Mmm. Show me what I've been missin. Wanna feel your nut splash inside, handsome." No womans ever talked to or fucked him like this before. Its him that usually mounts his victims till they're stupid from his curved cock. But now he can hardly take the snug hug your hole gives his dick. Unable to stop his eyes from rollin back in his skull when you focus on humpin the wide mushroom tip, swiveling your hips sensually as you ride your mans dick. His fingers slip from your hips and Kishibe falls back against the bed limply, eyes blurry with tears at the sensation of you fuckin him so thoroughly. "F-fuck honey. Thats it. Put that pussy on Daddy." He slurs, eyes shut tight, oblivious to the dark kink he keeps buried deep down finally breakin free. "Make me nut in that pretty lil pussy, baby. Show Daddy how he's the only one that can cum inside." His chest heaves as he pants out quick labored grunts from the way you pop your plushy ass on him up and down fast as you can, slammin your lil cunt on him tirelessly; the burn in your thighs the last thing on your mind. "Yes, Daddy! Gimme it, earned my nut huh? Don't wanna wait for it anymore!" You hiccup, beggin for his load in high pitched cries as he begins to buck his hips widly. "H-here it is, sweet girl. Nuts all for you.. Ahhh fuck! Take it, honey. Take it.." Glidin to the base of his swollen shaft repeatedly, literally milking the sperm from his poundin dick. Gooey white spurts layer your walls, coating your insides thickly with his essence. His hips unintentionally lift from the bed to chase your pussy, outta sync from your rythym, random hits to your gspot makin you seize in his lap. "Kish, Kishi- Kishibeee!" Juices gush and pool on his work pants as you cum enthusiastically, clumsily rotatin your hips, usin his poor cock to abuse your puffy hole even when Kishibe stiffens from the overstimulation. "L-little girl." He warns you but you ignore him, wordless moans slippin through your bare lips as you enjoy him like its the last time. The man has to gather all the strength he has left to snatch you off his dick and flip you onto the bed, pastel blue covers cool against your back. He hovers above you, sticky girth rigid against your slick pussy lips. "Bad fuckin girl. Doin whatever you want with my dick." Kishibe snarls against your mouth, kissing you hungrily, both of you still pantin for air. His words make you pout, releasin a small whimper when he pulls away, floppin next to you and cuddling into your side. "My dick, Kishibe. Plus.. Thought you said I was good." He snorts at your whine. "Any man would say that when you're force fuckin the nut out me the way you did, y/n." You bust out laughin at his deceitful trickery, your infectious giggles makin him follow suit. "That right.. Daddy? Didn't know you were into that. Think we got some catchin up to do.." Kishibe groans when you slip a hand to squeeze lightly at his sensitive slowly softening cock, smilin into his shoulder when it twitches with interest. He knows he'll never hear the end of this one and really wishes your perfect lil cunt didn't get him so fuckin pussy drunk. But really, Kishibe's finally happy; hopesand prays his lil slice of happiness won't be cut short..

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anundyingfidelity · 10 months

Text

CATCH FEELS — Adam Warlock x goddess!reader

Summary: You're very happy seeing Thor again after your ways parted. Adam is not sure he's liking the god of thunder's visit.

Pairing: Adam x asgardian goddess!reader.

Word count: 1.5k.

Notes: reader is the goddess of joy and peace, some descriptions of reader wearing dresses, reader is as around the same age as Thor, female pronouns use.

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

A sigh escaped from Adam's lips... by the tenth time in the day.

He watched you in silence from afar. How happy you looked, how your laughter got louder and your smile grew wide, all meanwhile you spent some time with Thor, the god of thunder himself.

Less than a couple of hours before, Adam came back from a lonely mission and he was atonished to find out you were not alone. In fact, you had a visit. He certainly did not like your visit immediately. Something inside him grew up, like a rejection toward the asgardian god.

When you met a few months ago, Adam remembered you telling him the story of Asgard and its people, and how you ended up with the guardians after Thor left the team to look for Sif. Suddenly, as time passed and you became very close friends, a weird feeling flourished inside of him. Adam then realized he loved you, but he was too scared to confess.

Tired of just being a viewer on your little chat with Thor, he started to walk to meet you and the god, who was now occupied having a small talk with a kid.

"Adam!" you beamed once he was near, you ran to him and hugged him tightly. "You're back! I'm so glad you're here, I missed you."

The golden boy embraced you with a smile on his lips. "I've missed you too."

"Hey, I want you to meet someone. He's very important to me, I know you're gonna have a great time with us-" taking his hand and not stopping your talk, you brought Adam closer to Thor, who just finished his chat with the kid. Unaware of what you did with your small action, Adam felt his heartbeat increased, and his face started to burn at your touch.

"So this is the new addition? The golden man?" Thor beamed once Adam was literally in front of him, with you presenting him like a proud mother.

Thor patted him playfuly in the shoulder with such joy and embraced the golden man with his strong arms. Adam realized asgardians did give good, big hugs, but Thor's hug was nothing like yours.

"Let's have a special dinner today!" you stepped in, happy that your best friend finally met Adam. "People around here have been missing you, Adam, and you'll like Thor, I'm sure."

You took his hand again, a beautiful smile that crinkled your eyes on your face. How could he say no to you? Of course, you were the goddess of joy and peace, and there was always something bright you saw and this was the perfect opportunity to introduce Adam to Asgard and your culture.

Adam nodded with a grin. "I'd love that."

A long week was waiting for him.

Adam got lost in the story that Thor was telling. One of Thor's hundreds of times he saved the universe or a planet that he really didn't pay too much attention to. He was focused in one thing: you, sitting in the middle of both, the asgardian god and him.

You smiled and chuckled through the epic story telling Thor was giving to the guardians during the dinner, he was certainly getting all the attention that night. You were enjoying yourself, unlike Adam, who was just pretending to listen to the asgardian god, instead he was focusing on your reactions and how beautiful you looked with that shiny, golden dress on you.

Adam was totally hypnotized on your figure that he didn't expect Thor to smash his empty cup to the ground.

"Another!" The god yelled, making you laugh and the Guardians celebrating him around the table. Even Nebula curved her lips a little, and that was a lot to say.

"Mead?" you asked Adam, offering him a little of the asgardian liqueur you prepared. The guardians giving all the attention back to Thor, as Drax loud voice boomed the dining room while they chatted.

"That would be great," the golden man nodded. "And the food is delicious, thank you."

You filled his cup one more time for the night and smiled wide. "You're welcome, I'm truly happy to have you here."

"Y/N!" Thor loud voice called you, immediately you were forgetting about Adam and totally inmersed in Thor's conversation about an old battle that Drax was requesting to hear.

So he was long ignored, prepared for the rest of the night to be the same, but he couldn't leave the dinner because you prepared it for him and the guardians to have a good time, however, he wasn't having it.

Running was a hard decision right now.

Knowhere looked better and the people were happier, you were a lot of help for that. The citizens loved you and Adam couldn't blame them. Each day that passed by, his love for you grew up inside of him, but also the strange sensation of having Thor around was getting stronger.

Two days have passed since Thor arrived, and he was supposed to leave soon, however, his visit felt eternal for the Sovereign. He couldn't help but feel bitterness each time you left to follow the blonde, tall muscular god and do the tasks you'd normally do with Adam instead, such as fixing things around for the citizens or teaching the new kids and their families about Knowhere, its culture, and the different planets and galaxies around.

Standing and helping Drax while fixing a metalic huge door, Adam didn't measure his strenght over the pipe of the balcony in his hand as it folded like it was a simple piece of clay in a matter of seconds. The cause? Thor hugging you tightly in front of his eyes.

"Hey, golden man! Be careful!" Drax warned, but he noticed what was Adam looking at.

You and Thor. Of course it had to be.

The muscle man began to stand up and came closer to Adam, who was ashamed of what just happened.

"Just tell her."

"Pardon?"

Drax rolled his eyes and sighed exaggeratedly. "You liek Y/n, she doesn't know and that's certain, so tell her."

But Adam wasn't certain that you liked him back, so he just nodded, dismissing his words. "Let's keep working on this."

Adam didn't even notice he did what he did because of you. And it wasn't fair for him. As the week went by, he started to break things accidentally every time you were seen with the god of thunder. Adam got called out often, but he couldn't stop himself. It was this weird feeling someone taught him so long ago taking over him as time passed by, but Adam did not remember its name.

Soon your mood changed once you knew Thor was leaving the next day, and it looked like the gods or the universe were again with Adam, as you were the only ones left in the dinning room that night.

"Adam," softly you called his name. "I'm sorry..."

The golden man was confused. "What for?"

"I just feel like I've been away from you these past few days, so I want to apologize for that," you were not as cheerful as normally and it hurted him.

"It's okay," it wasn't. "I know Thor is important to you... but I would prefer to be with you instead."

He did not mean to voice the last sentence.

"Well, you are with me now," you stepped closer to take his hand, a smile curved on your lips. "And I won't be leaving, Thor will. So you will have me here for a long time."

Adam nodded in silence, squeezing your warm hand. He tried to speak, but nothing came. He wanted to let you know how much he loved you, but he thought it wasn't the time.

"Is there anything you would like to say?" you asked, as if you were reading his mind.

"No, not at all. Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah-"

"I love you."

"W-what?"

"Adam, I love you," you repeated. "I'm sorry if it's not prompt, I promised Thor I would say it to you once you were back."

His heart fluttered at your words and his cheeks burned, your hands never stopped touching the whole time. You felt the same too. And that was also why you were spending so much time with Thor.

"I- I love you too," he stuttered. "And I never found the time to tell you, so now I'm sorry for being shy about it."

After that, you stealed a kiss from him. A quick, innocent, short kiss tasting his soft lips.

"I hope you were not mad or jealous of Thor," you joked.

Jelousy. That was the word he was looking. That's what he felt. But he would never admit.

"I wasn't jealous, I was being absolutely reasonable... in my head."

You chuckled and kissed his lips one more time.

"Sure, golden man. We will have our own time together from now on."

There was no reason to be jealous anymore.

#adam warlock x reader #adam warlock imagines #adam warlock x you #adam warlock imagine #adam warlock x y/n #adam warlock #adam warlock x female reader #marvel imagines #guardians of the galaxy vol 3 #adam warlock fanfiction #adam warlock fluff

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toracre · 28 days

Text

Love Line!

Taking shelter in the shade under a tree, Azul searches for peace to soothe the ache in his head. That is, until a certain someone comes along presenting a lovely idea. Why not recreate this idea with them? Oh well, Azul will entertain their idea, in a different way.

tags: accidental love confessions!!, theyre both stupid

"Hey."

Azul hears a voice behind him chirp.

Seeking shelter from the burning sun under a tree, Azul had hoped to not be bothered. He had simply wanted to seek refuge against the pounding in his skull.

With a sigh, "Is there something you needed?"

"I hope you're aware that Coach Vargas is not one to tolerate people slacking off or playing around during his class." An unamused expression dawning Azul's face as he says this.

The octopus was quite used to your antics by now. Suggestions of grandiose- or 'ridiculous' ideas, as Azul puts it, were not surprises when heard coming from your mouth. From ideas like building a burger taller than the school, to things like shoving Floyd into a toilet to make him supposedly 'recreate' a certain video from back in your world. You truly had it all.

"You know, if anything, you're the one slacking off in Sir Vargas' class! You're the one sitting under a tree acting all sad and lonely." Your accusations towards Azul did NOT help the pounding in his poor little octopus head. Not even one bit. It was doing the exact opposite of helping, actually.

Defensive is what you could use to describe the octopus right now, as much as he'd deny it. What makes you believe you have the right to accuse someone like him of slacking off during classes?

"I'll have you know, I've already completed the assigned task that Coach Vargas had given us. From what I've observed, you haven't even completed 5 laps you were meant to run." Oh, coming in just now, Mr. Azul Ashengrotto has turned the tables around with a smug look on his face! Will the prefect be able to catch up and defend themselves?

"I'm too tired to do all of that," you pout "and anyway, everyone knows you can't catch a break with Sir Vargas. Even if you're done with the task, he's gonna make you do one billion more things after that!!"

Azul relents, the prefect can be quite clever when they want to be. Just like during his overblot. Though, he wonders if it would be a good idea to tell them about his undying migraine. Perhaps they'll be able to find a clever solution for it. Oh wait, nevermind, they'll just come up with another ridiculous idea again.

"Fine, I suppose you're right." Sighing once more, "But you still haven't answered my initial question. What exactly do you need from me?"

You plop yourself down under the tree as well, "I just wanna talk to my best pal! Is something really so wrong with that!" Making yourself comfortable on the grass next to him, you make eye contact with Azul. Doesn't he have such pretty blue eyes and soft wavy hair? Would he look even prettier without glasses? How could someone so pretty have such a great personality too? Why is he always so put together even wh- Wait what?

"I'm not so sure if you can consider us 'best pals,'" Ouch, that stings. "I do hope you don't intend to talk to me about your ridiculous ideas again. Please, you're enabling Jade and Floyd to do just the same."

"Well, guess what, I'm not gonna do that!! Because my ideas aren't ridiculous!" In Azul's eyes, you probably look like you're throwing a tantrum right now. With you sounding so genuinely upset and all that. Perhaps you are upset, but not for the reason the octopus sitting beside you would believe. Your ideas being called ridiculous over and over couldn't be less of a concern than it is, the statement holds some truth after all. However, why couldn't you two be considered best pals? Did you not meet Azul's requirements to be considered a friend, a close associate yet?

"Right.. pl-" "Do you have a crush on anyone, Azul?"

...

"..Pardon?"

"You heard me."

...

Oh, the atmosphere couldn't be any more awkward than it already is. You can't just drop that out of nowhere, what are you doing?! Azul looks at you with a slightly uncomfortable face, not even he could mask his discomfort.

Well, that helped though. The awkwardness managed to remove his focus from the absolute headache he was having a minute ago. "Sorry, what instigated this question...?" Eye contact broken. He seems to be looking everywhere else other than at you now. The previously shown discomfort on his face had been masked, however bits of shyness still manage to escape.

The look on your face told him absolutely nothing. You seemed to hold not a care in the world, not a single thought in your mind.

Still with a completely neutral face, "Do you have a crush on Jamil?" It's almost as if you were playing a guessing game. What was Azul meant to say? While the cogs turned in his head, a fly flew in and out of yours.

"No. Jamil is a person of interest, but it is only becaus-" "Well, you should!"

Huh? What did you just say? Did you seriously just tell Azul who he should be interested in? Sometimes you were clueless and bold, but isn't it too much this time? A look of confusion from the octopus is garnered, he only blinks at you. "Why?"

In anticipation of whatever RIDICULOUS answer you'll give him, he prepares himself. "Because Jamil has a crush on me!" Had you hated him? Your wish was for Azul to give his heart to one who wouldn't be able to return theirs. Were you mad? Despite the preparations and the already existing expectation for a stupid answer, the octopus couldn't help but feel more confused.

"And what does that have to do with it? If Jamil truly loves you, why would you want me to love him?" Azul squinted at you. For once, he wasn't sure what you were trying to achieve from this idea. Through the development of your friendship, or whatever it was you had, he had learned your patterns and how to read you.

Unfortunately for him, at this very moment, you were unreadable. He had not the slightest clue of why you're doing this or what you're thinking. Jade's signature spell would be quite useful right now.

You beamed at him, "so that we can recreate a crazy love triangle trope!"

...

"Love.. triangle?" Although unsure of the meaning, at least he had an idea where this was leading.

"Yeah! It's where Person A has a crush on Person B, but Person B has a crush on Person C, but Person C has a crush on Person A! It's crazy!"

Recreate? Wait.

"Forgive me if I'm mistaken but..-"

"-you have a crush on me?"

A shocked expression slowly creeps its way onto your face. Good job.

"Perhaps you truly didn't think this through, prefect." You wish you could wipe the smirk off his face while he says that. Alas, you face the consequences of your own stupidity.

Shame, embarrassment, humiliation, you could feel all of it at once. You opted for staring down at the grass. Just like that, Mr. Azul Ashengrotto takes the lead and turns the tables once more! This time, it seems as though the prefect has no chance at redemption.

You felt him shift in the grass, "The situation we're currently in now, I suppose it is more of a love line."

"Love line?"

"Ah, of course. Allow me to return the favor and explain this to you, prefect. It's where Person A and Person B both have feelings towards Person C."

You blink. "I don't get it."

Mr. Octopus doesn't seem to elaborate any further, looking at you expectantly. This is a puzzle for you to solve on your own.

"So.. if Jamil has a crush on me... and two people have a crush on the same person, then...."

Azul smiles.

#azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x yuu #azul ashengrotto x yuu #twst x reader #twst

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sinner-sunflower · 2 months

Text

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 7/?

PART 1 , PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

TW: Su!cidal ideation

Finally some RadioApple aljsdlajls

VERY SHORT but

RADIOAPPLE!!!!

I hope you guys like this.

IF THERE ARE ANY GRAMMAR ERRORS, FORGIVE ME.

------------------------------------------

It's about to rain.

Rain wasn't uncommon in Hell, but it wasn't that common either. It's mostly acid rain that comes down- another punishment from The Almighty. As if Falling wasn't enough. As if watching over his biggest failure wasn't enough.

It's beautiful to look at, though. Lucifer likes to think that the rain in hell is his Father's and siblings' tears. Sure helped him feel less lonely to delude himself that he is missed.

The Sin of Pride. He still doesn't get why he is that.

What other sin have I done other than love, Father?

Lucifer nurses a glass of apple Beelzejuice by his mouth. He's sitting on the counter of his personal mini-bar as he looks past the open balcony. A voice cuts through his thoughts.

Alastor: Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon~

The king of hell didn't even bother to turn his head at the sudden appearance of the radio demon. Alastor didn't seem to take offense to being ignored, only moving around the bar to make his own drink.

Lucifer doesn't really drink but he likes to mix up stuff every now and then. The process makes him feel like he's back in Eden making-

He shakes his head. Nope, not gonna go there.

Alastor finishes making his drink- a whiskey on the rocks- and joins Lucifer in overlooking the skies.

Lucifer: I'm really tired, Alastor. I think I have been for a long time.

Lucifer downs the drink and brings up his infected hand. Alastor stays quiet beside him, emitting a low static.

Lucifer: You know, I didn't actually know if it wouldn't kill me. I just saw that dead demon pig and moved without thinking. Just one touch and maybe I would...

A cold feeling upon his fingertips snaps him back. Alastor hands him a drink which makes him raise an eyebrow but he takes the drink nonetheless.

Lucifer: Cider?

Alastor: Apple~

Lucifer: What? You think these are drunken words?

Alastor: I think.. that you've had enough for tonight, my dear.

Lucifer: I had one glass.

Alastor: Of the Prince of Gluttony's strongest.

Lucifer scoffs.

Lucifer: Touche. But I can't get drunk.

He says, earning a hum from Alastor.

Alastor: Drunk in your own demons. Ha!

Lucifer: Ugh. That was such a shit pun.

Alastor: Made you smile, have I not, my Majesty?

Huh. Will you look at that? Lucifer did have a small smile but Alastor was sporting that irritating grin of his so he didn't dignify him with an answer.

Quiet again.

Normally, Lucifer would awkwardly rant about this and that just to fill the suffocating silence. The first few hours after the fall - before the Sins and everything else- it was just silence. The only sound that could be heard in the vast darkness was his and Lilith's pained breathing.

After his Lily leaves, he punishes himself by isolation. Just him, alone. Like how it should have been. He damned humanity. He damned Lilith. Now, he damned his most precious daughter.

He thought he would never find peace in silence again.

That is, until a certain radio demon.

Lucifer would never admit it, but that first time they met- the banter, the singing, the one-upping- it was the most alive he felt in more than 10,000 years.

Sure, Alastor was a raging asshole that was using his daughter to piss him off and he wanted nothing more than to permanently kill the guy.

Oh, who was he kidding, the bastard still does that.

But... somehow, along the way, they became (dare he say) good friends. Recently, he feels like they transitioned into something more. The constant touches, the domestic moments in the kitchen, that kiss.

When he's with Alastor, he forgets why he even hated the silence.

He sees that Alastor didn't make another drink.

Lucifer: Drunk already?

Alastor smiles- one of his rare genuine smiles that Lucifer only sees when they are alone- and walks in front of him. The demon stands in between Lucifer's legs that were slightly swinging.

Alastor puts his hands on the counter, caging the king of hell on either side.

Their faces move on their own. Coming closer until their lips were barely touching.

Alastor: With your company? Always.

Then finally, their lips touch one another's. Lucifer never thought he's experience this kind of intimacy again after Lilith.

The kiss was slow, but deep- they could feel each other's passion. One of Lucifer's hands finds its way to Alastor's hair to pull him closer.

The moment couldn't be longer. Alastor pulls away first but places a hand on his king's waist.

Alastor: Don't stay away for too long in your venture, little apple.

He places a small kiss on Lucifer's hand. The smaller gives the other a teasing smile.

Lucifer: What? You'll miss me?

The overlord only smirks.

Alastor: Dearly.. my Lucifer~

With that Alastor left, leaving Lucifer with himself again. He stares at the Morningstar portrait, focusing on his daughter's smiling face.

He'll make this right.

Lucifer: For Charlie.

----------------------------------------------

What to look forward for in Part 8:

Charlie and Lucifer will finally talk before he leaves.

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gabessquishytum · 10 months

Note

Dream really do be having that previously neglected shelter dog rizz and y’all be putting him in Situations 😭. Please all I can see him doing is laying pathetically on the floor letting out occasional heaving sighs of sorrow as Hob just carefully steps over him (because Dream somehow always manages to be on the floor directly under where he’s about to step and Hob’s one more tumble away from just investing in a ceiling made of monkey bars).

So now all I can imagine is Dream post-divorce with Calliope (because let’s be real that man came out of the celestial womb divorced and mopey) who finds solace in Hob’s flat and Hob’s occasional attempts to heave him up both physically and emotionally. When Hob’s not frantically almost stepping on his dear friend and braining himself as a result, he’s just sort of resigned himself to the reality that Dream just kind of…lives on his floor now when he’s not in The Dreaming, so he’s like fuck it I’m just gonna keep going about my days. So Dream gets to watch Hob’s daily routines from a brand new perspective, maybe even catch a glimpse of Hob changing in his bedroom when he forgets (read: he did not forget) to close his door, and how he sings awfully in the shower, and loves burnt toast that’s practically char and makes Dream watch terrible human shows and movies all of a sudden Dream’s like oh no I’m in love with him

I just love the idea of Dream moping around looking like a lost dog caught out in the rain for so long that Hob just accepts him as a permanent fixture in the flat. He makes some room in the closet for all of Dream’s nonexistent clothes (he buys him some anyway), he gives him a cupboard in the kitchen and a drawer or two, he gets drunk and tells Dream about all his own failed relationships over the centuries. And when Hob finally snaps and tells Dream that he’s not unloveable and proves that to him by giving him a big sloppy drunk kiss, well Dream’s always wanted more than he’s got, and he can’t stop himself when he doesn’t let Hob pull away, hands gripping the thick meat of his upper thighs, teeth against teeth and gasping into each other’s mouths and suddenly Dream can’t even remember why he was so sad to begin with

I need you to know the phrase "shelter dog rizz" is sending me absolutely wheezing. Iconic.

And honestly? Yeah.

It takes a little while for Hob to get used to the man shaped creature who apparently now lives on the floor, but he figures that Dream has been Going Through Something for the last several thousand years so he probably deserves the opportunity to express his depressive episode in a relatively harmless way. He's still willing to talk to Hob, which is nice. Hob tells him about work and the pub and how he's in a hyperfixation over The Sims at the moment, which happens to him for a few week every year without fail. Dream sometimes talks about the goings on of his realm, and Matthew's shenanigans. A lot of the time he talks about how useless he feels and how, despite the fact that he ought not to feel fatigue at all, he's so tired.

Dream is surprisingly welcome company for Hob (who is lonely, though he would never ever dare to say that word to Dream again). Despite acting like a very strange rug, Dream is present and calming and when Hob lies down beside him on the floor, he feels absolutely peaceful.

Kissing Dream is absolutely the best drunken decision Hob has ever made (and there have been many). Dream melts against his body and the flicker of a smile starts in his eyes before finally quirking at the edge of his mouth.

Suddenly he's quite willing to spend less time on the floor... and more time in bed.

#the sandman #dreamling

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