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khuzena · 23 days

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Your Guardian Angel

Sunday x g/n!reader

Summary: oh guardian angel, my sweet guardian angel. Save me, Save me. If you can't, what're you truly for? When your angel loves you, when he betrays destiny for you; only for his wings to be chipped at the expense of a helpless attempt.

Cw. Very angsty, falling in love (but it's forbidden), religious references (specifically Christian topics) AU where ppl can talk to their angels lol, mentions of self harm but no actual scene with it!!!, no bandaid can fix the emotional wound after reading this. SOME fluff, no comfort like usual. 🫨🫨🫨 YOU DIE!

A/n: I'm on fire (like literally. It's 36° here.)

Your knees burn as you stare up at the altar displayed in front you, you wonder if the aeons would be kind enough to finally send you your guardian angel.

“Please,” you begged, wishing any god to heed your call, “Just this once I'll ask.”

“Send me someone kind, someone to protect me.”

That day, fate was generous enough to grant you your angel.

A chill ran down your spine, rubbing your eyes for good measure to make sure you weren't dreaming.

“You called?”

You gulp nervously, the being's halo blinding you.

One, he reached his hand out to you, his smile all you needed to feel okay.

Your guardian angel accompanies you whenever you go out to buy groceries, when your fingers trace along the unhealthy snack bar, he's quick to tut and swat your hand away.

“That's unhealthy, dear.”

“But—”

“Just this once?”

He shook his head no, feeling distraught, you devised a plan to grab a pack of double chocolate cookies; much to his dismay.

Who did you think you were fooling?

“Dear, I said no.”

You sighed, “Just one?”

Out of all the humans on the list, why'd he pick you? But when you smile at him so brightly, out of every human he's ever guided, he's still unsure of his answer—

Your shoulders slump, “Pretty please?”

He exhales an exasperated sigh, letting you win over him just this once.

“Fine.”

— Maybe he is, Maybe he isn't.

There were times nightmares were unkind and brutal that you'd wake up in cold sweat. Your mind flashing you memories of the past you wished to lock away, you'd pray again.

“Dear, wake up,” that familiar soothing voice ringing in your ears.

Where? The shackles of that dream still bruise you harshly, yet your loving guardian angel is there to soothe your scars.

“It's okay.”

It's not okay, you know.

No words were exchanged when he took your hand in his, his honey eyes seeing through you, “Just breathe.”

Your tears found solace in his shoulder as he patted your back, letting you cry it all out, “It hurts, Sunday.”

“I know,” his gloved hand wiping your tears gently, “I know.”

Like a child, for many dreadful nightmares to come, you cry and cry for him to relieve you of this pain. You needn't to get on your knees and ask the aeons for comfort. All you need to do is shed a single tear and he'll kiss them away.

Two, your oh so sweet guardian angel, he drives them all away.

Years pass and you've grown used to your guardian angel, you'd find him taking the form of an owl.

Like one time, you were in class— culinary class to be specific. Who knows what aeon decided to ruin your day and made you trip on a puddle of leftover batter on the tiled floor.

“Eek—!”

You'd think you'd hit head first but something held you up, when you turned around, there was no one there.

The owl perched on the branch just outside the window, shook its head in dismay, once again, you don't die today.

He may save you from all catastrophes but he cannot save you from impending doom.

As an angel, by all means, he has every right to read your destiny; woven by lord Xipe, of course.

Eyes narrowing at the scroll, your life ends early when you get roped into an unforeseen accident at a public event.

“Sunday, dear. 5 days until your host departs,” his beloved lord's voice echoing the room as they loom over his shoulder to watch your end unfold.

“We should find you a new human.”

Sunday trembled at the sight, a memory he wishes to never replay again. You were in an event and some drunkard decides to shoot it all up, bullets ablaze as you get caught in the crossfire.

“I…”

I mustn't disobey lord Xipe.

“Yes, lord Xipe,” he gave a weak smile to his god, your death still replaying.

How could he be fine?

When you tell him of your dreams, how you'd leave this wretched city, leave penacony and write your own fate; when destiny had already set yours in stone.

“Do you think I'll become big in the industry?”

The sunset falls upon you too and he doesn't have it in him to tell you what's bound to happen to you, “Yes.”

“You sound hesitant.”

“I'm just thinking.”

It wasn't often you see Sunday like… this.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “It's nothing.”

You two have been together long enough that it only takes you a second to realise the shift in the atmosphere, “Whatever, I'm going to be successful and we'll travel.”

He wonders if you noticed the way his wings are stiffening at your words, he may be an angel, “Sure,” but he is a liar first.

He doesn't want to think about it, he doesn't want to remember.

Your curious eyes never leave him, he wishes it did. He wishes he never got too attached.

That disgustingly sweet smile of yours, you'll never know that it made home in his head.

“Here,” he wore the rosary in your hand, it felt comforting feeling his gloved hand against your skin, “What is this for?”

He still doesn't have the courage to look you in the eye knowing 3 days from now they'd be devoid of light, “For protection, to show devotion to our god.”

You let out a hum of approval, admiring the beads.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes”

“I'm glad.”

Fleeting moments like these don't last. But when he musters up the courage to look you in the eyes again; he wishes that Lord Xipe was loving enough that this moment would.

Destiny is a strange thing. It gives you time to dream but never enough time to do.

Just where the hell were you?

Sunday panics as he flies over the crowd, exactly a minute before your death.

Lord Xipe must be cruel, watching from the stars as he scurries in the mortal realm like a rat to save a mere mortal like you.

“Sunday?”

‘Bang.’

You hear gunshots piercing the skies and those beside you.

“What's happening—”

“Just shut up,” angels were not allowed to be this crude but for your sake, he covered your eyes as he led the two of you behind a pillar.

Your gut instinct tells you to run but you've grown to trust him enough with your life. How could you not when he gently wraps his arms around your trembling figure?

“S-sun… day…,” you cried, feeling something piercing your stomach.

But how? He… he saved you didn't he?

“Stay calm,” he scolds you as if he wasn't scrambling around his options on how to save you, “Please.”

He prays, “Lord Xipe, please.”

But songs stay unsung, prayers remain unheard.

He cries to the sky as crimson stains his gloves, his holy tears cannot patch your wounds. His prayers cannot fix you. If he had known, he would not have sung those odes to lord Xipe, if only he had known his god's mercy was nothing but just strings of fallacies.

“Lord Xipe!”

An agonising scream that transcends the barrier of heaven and earth, yet his beloved god turned their back on him.

Your eyes shut then he felt the hand that intertwined with him go limp, “Lord Xipe.”

In desperate sobs, “Please.”

No amount of begging would bring you back, just like his sister, Robin, you are dead, you are gone.

Not being able to save you— he's betrayed you.

He kissed your cheek before letting death take you.

My God, why have you forsaken me?

He has no time to mourn, “It burns,” under the scrutinising gaze of the divine, his wings turn charcoal black.

Lord Xipe is all forgiving yet they have abandoned him for something so little.

A god so forgiving, yet when Sunday looks down at his hands, only a shade of balsam and black stare back at him.

There is no redemption for his sin, there is no redemption for either of you.

You can no longer dream, he can no longer dream with you.

His halo crumbles into ash and an undeniably painful grief fills him, “Lord xipe.”

His radiant halo no more, only to be replaced by the glow of the sunset like a crown of thorns.

He cries again, his god is gone and you are too.

Note: forgive me if its kinda shit, i really can't think of an angst idea for sunday that isn't yandere since im not rlly big about yan tropes anddd not proofread. I hope y'all enjoyed it tho, i just needed to get this idea out of my brain. Sunday is vv manipulative but i js wanted to write a ver of him thats just gentle ISTFGGGGGG

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡

#what have i done #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr fluff #hsr x reader #sunday x reader #sunday fluff #hsr sunday #hsr angst #hsr sunday x reader #honkai star rail sunday #honkai star rail sunday x reader

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brahkest-fr · 10 months

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do you have any tips on making fandragons? yours are really good in a way i cant quite quantify

oh why thank you! I love my dumb fandergs so much kldjkldd

I'm not sure if I have tips per se, but I can explain how my thought process works when I do make fandergs so maybe that can be helpful 👀

when it comes to making them, the way I do it is first deciding what breed to make em. I consider what details I want to bring out of the fandom character so for example, I made my Johnny Bravo dragon a pearlcatcher cuz I wanted the dragon to have hair but not so much like a tundra. I also had an outfit in mind (to match Johnny's t shirt and jeans) so that ruled out ancients since you can't dress em and I didn't feel like making a skin lol.

and behold: a man™. when I drew him, I thought it'd be funny to actually match the style of the show so he's all angular and disproportionate. I only included features that I wanted from the pearlcatcher like the horn, ears, and tail and tbh he looks like a rhino lol but I decided stuff like the hair tufts on the face and limbs was too much for my taste.

same thing went for my Samurai Jack dragon. however, this guy's actual dragon sprite is a lot more complex just cuz I felt like making him fancy and giving him armor.

but when I drew him, he's just very much like Jack in the show, including the style. and I'm not saying fandergs have to match the style of whatever, I just think it's a fun nod. you can also notice here I didn't draw the smoke gene on him. that's just a personal decision I wanted to keep only on the sprite, in reference to Japanese ink paintings.

my design philosophy in general is "how would x person look like if they were a dragon." but if it's like an animal/creature fanderg (like for example my bazelgeuse derg from monster hunter) then I just kinda combine both elements together.

so for Tasha here, laced and edged look like chonky scales which for me was close enough to the egg-like scales of bazel and I got a skin for the fire theming. no clothes cuz I didn't wanna cover up the skin so sometimes I don't even dress em up if I prefer seeing their bodies.

when I drew her, you can see the combined bits of both the monster and wildclaw - bazel's wings, the chonk claws, egg scales, facial features - wc tail feathers, the multigaze, feather hair. there's a lot of "use your imagination" in my designs so like, I don't usually take things at immediate face value. so some people might see laced/edged as just flat scales or maybe even feathers but my brain went oh those are fat fuck egg bombs kjldfkldkl.

sometimes my fandergs are just inspired from colors like Baja who's a taco bell fan dragon lol. I saw this hat and was like yeah I can do something with that. another example of a derg I didn't really dress cuz I wanna see the baja blast™ capsule. Baja would prolly be one of the more thematically standard flight rising dergs of my fandom ones cuz she's just a spiral without anything fancy pancy going on like the previous ones.

and sometimes it's just fun to make things kinda funky. for my Jacket fanderg, I was like, what if the chicken mask was literally a part of him and badabing it worked out really well with scales. his other colors are like red and white cuz I wanted a sort of basic bitch rooster color scheme. most of the fandom bits come from the skin I made him so he's a bit more involved on the artsy side of things. the art of him afterwards became a literal interpretation of the sprite.

I have a lot more fandergs of course but that's more or less my thought process on designing them! I don't usually have any sort of standard for designs, it really ends up being how much I feel like putting in and how much do I directly want to interpret from a fandom source. sometimes it's very literal and other times it's like a lil nod or so. tbh, you can really make a fanderg out of anything since what you wanna see is entirely up to you. I personally think it's pretty fun to see how close I can get with just what the site has to offer.

I have two more fandergs I'm actually working on rn and am very excited to share when I get to it hohohehe

#I'm so deep in fandom stuff rn it's insane #no one look at me I'm having a moment #fandergs #blood #multigaze #multiple eyes

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the-monkey-ruler · 3 months

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Hi I Don’t know if you have seen sun wukong in vs battle wiki in fandom and I was wondering how accurate you think his powers are the journey to the west

Battle wiki? Never heard of that that but I'll take a look.

Hmmm those are sure numbers and letts I'm not sure what they mean.

But I read each one and it looks like they have a good idea what they are listing! Esp enjoy there are so many references and explanations for each power. Have to say that a lot of these powers could be subjective depending on how people in modern times would try to define these powers to fit a proper power level.

You have to remember that Wukong is as powerful as the novel needs him to be within each arc and yes that is like anti-plot armor but with how strong Wukong is in the book, a lot of expectations and magic items are used on him as a means of counteracting how many powers he has. That all being said the powers he gains in the end could be limitless all things considering and depending on how a person interpts his powers could even lead to further interpretations of these powers as well.

This was a fun read! Maybe @journeytothewestresearch would know more about the details since he has measured Wukong's greatest feats but it looks fine with me.

Superhuman Physical Characteristics

Stealth Mastery

Regeneration (Mid) - I would say this should be higher, he made himself a new head within a minute.

Acrobatics (Used Physical Exercises while inside the body of a monster)

Martial Arts (It is hinted that his martial prowess is comparable to his magic ability in importance. He's fought thousands of trained Gods and Divine/Heavenly Warriors that are millions of years old. He even fought on par with a clone of himself, which was a Six-Eared Macaque. Its stated they have precognition, and without even moving knew every event within thousands of miles of themselves instantly)

Weapon Mastery (He taught his Monkey Army how to proficient with all kinds of weapons. His proficiency with his staff impresses Gods and Demons throughout the story)

Breath Attack (Can blow out winds so strong they destroy forests and create tsunamis the size of mountains)

Attack Reflection (Sun Wukong can use spells so Water, Fire and Thunder cannot harm him. He can also repel them)

Statistics Amplification (Can change the composition of his body to protect himself. Sun Wukong and his transformations, in general, have shown that changing your form can make you stronger)

Cosmic Awareness (Can hear up to Heaven and into the Underworld. With his eyes he can see if something is true or false, good or evil, wealthy or poor. He also states he is capable of seeing the entire World)

Enhanced Senses (He can see things like a dragonfly's wings precisely even if they are a thousand miles away. Capable of seeing through transformations and illusions along with shapeshifters)

Underwater Breathing (Type 2: Stated he cannot be drowned)

Purification (Type 2: Having mastered The Great Way, Sun Wukong would be capable of spell's that purify both his mind and body)

Forcefield Creation (Sun Wukong can create barriers by drawing on the ground. He can also use magic to create a barrier around his body)

Immortality (Type 1; Sun Wukong is stated multiple times to have eternal life. Type 2; He can live with and jokes about fatal wounds like being beheaded or having his body ripped open just for fun. Type 3; He can actively regenerate himself from fatal injuries such as being beheaded or being ripped open. Type 4; He has an extra life for each one of his transformations. Type 5; He is incapable of dying with death no longer applying to him)

Elemental Intangibility (Can turn into Ether)

Non-Physical Interaction (Fights evil spirits throughout the novel, which are confirmed to be nonexistent, and constantly interacts with things that are non-physical such as clouds)

Life Manipulation (Sun Wukong can create life from his hairs and turn them into creatures with special abilities such as sleeping bugs. He can also transform them into beings such as Thunder Spirits)

Light Manipulation (Can generate light from his eyes)

Limited Subjective Reality & Information Manipulation (It is stated at some point Sun Wukong began to utilize Dharma Power, which is Subjective Reality and Information to manifest his powers)

Self-Sustenance (Type 1 & 3: Does not need sleep, he has no issues in space and is capable of travelling through the cosmos)

Power Nullification (Has shown the ability to destroy magic)

Sleep Manipulation (Can force people to sleep for weeks)

Water Manipulation (Can overturn rivers and stir up oceans. Shown he can manipulate water to an extent)

Astral Projection (Sun Wukong can transform between being a spirit and having his normal body at will. At the same time he keeps the properties of his normal body as a soul/spirit. He is capable of using his staff, killing and touching Ghost and Souls, speaking to them, etc.)

Reincarnation (Sun Wukong in his True Spirit state is capable of reincarnating through any birth outlet)

Air Manipulation (Can create a planetary storm. Can also use wind to make others and most likely himself fly)

Social Influencing (Can speak to and befriend animals)

BFR (Having mastered The Great Way and The Daoist Way, Sun Wukong should be capable of banishing souls like his master)

Body Control (He can control his body and change its shape)

Biological Manipulation (He can invoke seizures onto other people) - don't remember this but sounds right

Danmaku (Can attack with tens of thousands of flying cudgels at once to counter millions of projectiles)

Dimensional Travel (Can go to the underworld and leave it as he wishes. He can also travel to Heaven)

Elasticity (Can have his head squeezed to the point it's shaped like an hourglass)

Duplication (Can turn his hairs into exact clones of himself. He can create billions of clones and they in turn could do the same seemingly endlessly. If Sun Wukong is cut into pieces one of those pieces will become himself and the other pieces will turn into clones)

Durability Negation (Sun Wukong's Cudgel can ignore durability)

Invulnerability (Sun Wukong has stated he is invulnerable and his body cannot be damaged, his invulnerability and immortality is merged with his body. This was further refined into his being. And by mastering The Great Way he would have an Indestructible Body. He's also stated to be capable of using magic to protect his body. He has only been damaged if he wished to be or by things with Immortality/Invulnerability Nullification)

Spatial Manipulation (Can instantly shorten the distance between locations for himself, and others)

Flight (He is capable of flying. Can travel through space and the cosmos)

Magic (Learned all sorts of magic)

Shapeshifting (Is capable of transformations. He can shapeshift other beings as well)

Size Manipulation (States he can grow so large he would fill the Universe or become smaller than a piece of hair. He can also control other people's size)

Summoning (Having mastered The Daoist Way, Sun Wukong should be capable of summoning Immortals to his side. This is shown we he summons the Northern Dragon King. He summons Gods and Deities throughout the Novel)

Invisibility (He can turn Invisible)

Resistance to Soul Manipulation (His Soul keeps the properties of his normal body. He survived the full brunt of a weapon that melts souls and causes the spirit of who it hits to leak)

Resistance to Cosmic Radiation (Can travel to Heaven which lies on top of the cosmos)

Resistance to Death Manipulation & Life Manipulation (By removing his name from the Register of Births and Deaths, Sun Wukong is free from Life & Death)

Resistance to Fate Manipulation (Alongside being free from Life & Death, Sun Wukong is also free from Fate as the Register of Births and Deaths determines and controls that as well)

Possible Resistance to Mist Manipulation & Electricity Manipulation (Sun Wukong stated that once they delivered the scriptures, they obtained bodies that could not be harmed by Fog, Thunder, or Lightning) - this is true, not a possibility.

Resistance to Mental Manipulation, Perception Manipulation. Empathic Manipulation, Madness Manipulation & Sense Manipulation (Sun Wukong's mind became enlightened and mastered the Great Way before he became a Buddha. Those who are enlightened obtain a special mindset allowing them to bypass all mental projections. Mental Projections in general include all types of perception. This includes ones based on vision as well as others that are shaped by memory and learning. This further includes mental events which are thoughts, feelings, decisions, dreams, and realizations)

Resistance to Disease Manipulation (Having learned the Way, he is free from all diseases. Fought against the entirety of Heaven yet was uninjured and couldn't be executed by them. That would include the Five Plagues. These are suggested to be phenomena that make your eyes bleed, nose bleed, ears pus, jaw lock & make anything you taste seem foul)

Resistance to Corruption (Sun Wukong stated that once they delivered the scriptures, they obtained bodies that are incorruptible)

Resistance to Conceptual Manipulation & Elemental Manipulation (The Five Phases are stated to be a force alongside the Yin-Yang which is responsible for human's natural endowments. Natural endowments would include things like intelligence and strength or their gifts, talents, etc. Consisting of Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal & Water they are thoroughly linked with the Yin-Yang. It's stated they formed creation itself as the Five Phases make up the entire Universe. Even the forms of Monsters & Demons are molded to match the Five Phases. Sun Wukong states he has transcended The Five Phases, which puts him beyond their dynamics)

Possible Resistance to Dream Manipulation & Subjective Reality (When the Dragon King of Jing River broke the Laws of Heaven he was to be executed. The execution occurred in a dream and then became reality. Sun Wukong not only broke the Laws of Heaven yet even after being captured could not be executed by them)

Possible Resistance to Darkness Manipulation & Light Manipulation (Fought against the entirety of Heaven yet was uninjured and couldn't be executed by them. That would include The Gods of Darkness and Light. Gods are shown to able to use the abilities of what they are the God of)

Possible Resistance to Time Manipulation (Fought against the entirety of Heaven yet was uninjured and couldn't be executed by them. That would include The Gods of Time and the Guardians of Time. Gods are shown to able to use the abilities of what they are the God of)

#jttw #journey to the west #sun wukong #xiyouji #ask #monkey king #powers #kind power scaling #not really #a lot of readying damn

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honey-minded-hivemind · 7 months

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Imagine...

An 🪶Avian AU

Yes! An Avian AU! Where instead of being mutants, the X-Men, Brotherhood, and their friends and foes (who are mutants) are part bird!

Now, we have different bird wings, bird talents, and bird talons for each different type of mutant. For the feral/beastly mutants, we have larger birds of prey. For the psychics, telepaths, and generally smart/ingenious/creative mutants, we have the likes of parrots, parakeets, and budgies. For faster/coordinated mutants, we have things like the falcon birds of prey, or the likes of hummingbirds. Witch/sorcerer-like mutants are more akin to the likes of ospreys and large waterbirds, such as cranes, storks, and herons. Mutants with abilities like fire, energy, sparklers, ice, and the like fall into the songbird/woodland bird categories, ranging from wrens to crows to bluejays to cardinals. There are so many options, and there are just as many for the reader.

In the 🪶Avian AU, they tend to call their groups/family "flock". Younger avians are referred to as "hatchlings", "fledglings", "nestlings", and "chicks". Different species may use their respective bird species to refer to others, such as calling a young eagle avian "eaglet" or a young swan avian a "cygnet". Adults are very protective of their young, and will die trying to protect their flock from danger. Their territory is fiercely guarded and secured, unwanted intruders being scared off, or hostile ones killed. Nests are built in large rooms that are deemed secure, and are filled with whatever is comfortable/comforting, like blankets, sweaters, plushies, and feathers, and are usually large enough for the entire group. Adults can end up in a more primal mindset when too stressed or threatened, where they keep any younger members in the nest and attack any deemed threats. The same can happen with younger avians, who will go into a state of mind of where they seek comfort and hide from deemed threats. When in these states, both adults and younger members become extremely broody and cuddly towards whomever they deem safe/in need of help.

Different avians eat different things. Some eat fruit, some eat meat, some eat seeds and nuts, others eat fish and crabs. Some have been known to eat carrion, or even humans, if nothing else is available... Avians can mix up their diet, but tend to stick with what they know. Many are known to preen feathers, similar to actual birds, and can do it for each other if wanted or needed. Sharpening of talons can also take place for those who have them. Most avians' eyesight is better than humans, but some have been known to have poor eyesight or none at all.

Avians have been hunted down in the past for their feathers, and for them supposedly bringing luck to whomever can catch one. It was also known that if you caught one, they would likely kill you at the first chance. Avians can hold a grudge, and are not above doing what it takes for their survival, or their species' survival. It was considered much safer by humans to collect avian feathers rather than actual avians. Different feathers meant different things, and many rich and influential humans would have cloaks or fans made out of the collected feathers. Avians can speak the human languages, but also have their own language, comprised of chirps, clicks, caws, hoots, screeches, tweets, and warbles, a language that only a few humans have ever been able to translate.

Flying is important to avians. That is the highest freedom they have, and to take away their wings is considered a mortal sin, an act punishable by death. There are tales in different regions of foolish humans who injured young avians, hoping to take home a trophy, only to be met by their parent or flock, who would then tear them apart. Other tales speak of trying to take one for a romantic partner... those end just as worse, with endings ranging from the avian's original romantic partner slaying the human, their flock destroying the human village, or the captured avian themself ripping through their captor in a feat of rage. Avian folklore is filled with its own mythological figures, like the Cunning Owl, Wise Crow, Loving Dove, and Immortal Phoenix. They also take great pride in their abilities, whether it be fast flight, heightened senses, sharp talons, clever wit, or impeccable beauty.

With a bby, the platonic yans would all go a little "coo-coo". They don't care if their bby isn't quite the same type of avian as them, or how old or young they are. Once they've set their sights on them, they're fixated. They don't want anything to happen to them, and it drives them so close to slipping into their instincts whenever they leave, but, they'll struggle to remain normal. They don't want to scare them off. But, they don't think they can fight it for much longer...

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere marvel x reader #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere #platonic yandere x reader #🪶Avian AU

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namedafterflowerstournament · 10 months

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I think this is official art for queen hazel

Okay so now there are two of you pointing it out but I'm not familiar with the fandom.

Here's my step to step for not using this and then reconsidering :

It is used in the Wings of Fire wiki (which is sadly not a proof that it is official art and not uncredited fanart, when you look at some wiki pages but I don't know enough about WoF to say it's the same here)

It is said it's a "reference by SpaceshipEarth"

Here's SpaceshipEarth's page :

They say they're 19 and studying graphic design so I didn't think it was official artworks ? (Or they hadn't changed their bio in a while but internet is a big tool for art professionals so that'd seem unlikely if they're still active here ?)

I saw other artists made references too for the website, using similar transparent LeafWing lineart

I'm quite sure the name of the graphic novels' artist isn't here and assumed a fan with an artistic background started the trend of making WoF transparents or something.

Two of you telling me it's official art made me look it up again.

I found Joy Ang's name on the wikia. She did most of the US WoF official artwork, but not the graphic novels (that's Mike Holmes, apparently). She's drawn the bases for all dragons' types.

So, I may use her work next time if I need Hazel or Willow's art, especially her generic Leafwing

The art used on Hazel's wiki page doesn't appear in the list the artist made of their reusable works -it's not in their 'don't use without asking owners' permission category either but if I've not been invited to use it clearly, I don't use fanworks and by rule of thumb I don't use fanart in first rounds if no artist has suggested their own work. I usually start asking around toward round 2 because it's less work and I know I already have another option if the artist changes their mind

Anyway, that was quite the explanation behind my thought process but most of a poll runner's work is hidden work so I thought that way you'd all get a glimpse at it.

You understand better why I ask help with looking for official art whenever I post brackets, now, don't you ? (/lh) When you don't know the source material well and podcasts/books/other usually unillustrated media are involved, it can be quite a bit of work (like checking covers one by one to make sure the character you're looking for isn't on it)

(This is not an attempt at discouraging new poll runners. It's doable, but know it takes time, energy and patience. It's also rewarding ! I talked to a lot of lovely people I didn't know and my Google sheets' skills are gradually improving. My editing skills are still a mess but that's a nice occasion to try. My people skills... well that's still a work in progress)

#not polls #asks and answers #hazel wof #willow wof

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autismsasuke · 10 months

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I can't help myself im gonna explain my thought process for the sns orpheus/eurydice piece under the cut cuz I'm still not over it

OK so first the composition. When looking at references on pinterest of Orpheus n eurydice i found that in most paintings eurydice was static and was either getting pulled along by Orpheus or just standing in the background and I know I wanted for this piece for them to be both in action.

I had a really specific composition in mind so I used this random character poser online to get the perspective exactly how I wanted it to be (bc let's be honest if I tried to do that all by myself I would Explode)

i knew i wanted to depict the exact moment that naruto looks back at sasuke, his widened eyes and sasuke's outstretched hand + him yelling out. now idk WHY he's exactly yelling out to naruto uhh you can make your own reason for that lmao

Next: the sketch and the clothing/designs. For naruto I decided to draw an off the shoulder chitoniskos aka an exomis bc soldiers used it and i thought it was fitting. the only reason he doesn't have another layer overtop the chitoniskos is bc i am Bad at Clothing and idk how to do it. its also why the skirt's flaps resemble more roman skirts than clothing folds rippp that wasnt my intention goddammit 😭

anyways i draw the symbol he has on his stomach on the belt and the uzumaki symbols on the flaps of the skirt. u can also see i gave him a laurel wrath in the sketch but it isn't in the final drawing. that's bc i realized that uh, it kinda made no sense in the context of the drawing so i just removed it lmaoo.

for sasuke i decided to draw just a regular chitoniskos and to draw the chlamys. for sas i drew the sharingan on the clasp and on the belt is the uchiha symbol. on the chlamys are some moon symbols and fire like red threads. (btw shout out to @achilleslyre for the help on the greek clothing 🫶🫶)

also u can see me struggling w the lyre and the lamp here. drawing objects in perspective is so hard my god

the lineart! this part is where i finalized the clothing folds and tried not to go into perfectionist mode.

base colors

shading, making sure i know where the light source is coming from + adding the afromentioned details. also added some sun motifs to naruto's lyre

even more rendering and shading, added some blue/purple-ish light on naruto since he's closer to the lamp and to the outside

and the finished piece! i struggled w the cave as well bc it kept looking off but at this point i was 8 hrs into this drawing and my hands were NOT listening so i just decided to wing it and scribble aimlessly until a general cave like shape could be seen.

the branch outside is going from a green to a brown-reddish color, representing spring turning into autumn and persephone having to return to the underworld aka it parallels eurydice/sasuke also having to go back to the underworld. (this is mostly me talking out of my ass lmao)

das all ty for reading hehe

#ispeak #naruto #sns #narusasu #sasunaru

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lookotherway · 2 years

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I don't think his dad died of overheating though. The leaks hadstated he used a gruesome way to say the dad and girl died by being turned into lumps of flesh. I can't find reverse search for sentences using the kanji and on the whole saying they died or turned to a actual corpse would have been less gruesome? I don't know. Some on Japanese side of Twitter posted art of Shishikura as a joke so I'm leaning that way. Considering AFO kidnapped his dad they had the theory of AFO tries uses that quirk

Also the hand Enji was looking at had scars. Some theorized the dad was a quirkless reckless do gooder. At some level both Deku and All Might were estentially quirkless and gained the powers to be superhumans. And AFO and Endeavor will then have that one flimsy connect that they both believe acquiring suitable quirks is the only way to make someone the strongest.

i just checked the raw before going to bed yesterday and yes, it doesn't contain any word implying 'fire' in Japanese. this reminds me of a few weeks ago with hawks' "prosthetic wings" but bro, in Jp it implied his swords 💀 the kanji was used (悪漢) isn't the word mha uses to refer 'villain'. it simply means 'bad guy' although it does mean 'villain' in the dictionary. rip.

both fantrans and official just like to tempt foreign readers to learn JP themselves huh?

(and yes, tf enji don't use that tone with your parent! it sounds impertinent even to me who barely understand jp. and if anyone question if it's really enji's father then yes, the Japan word said so.)

the wounds didn't really show which type of damage he had received. i said the kanji isn't the word that used to refer 'villain' in mha but look at the damage, like, it's so obviously that was a criminal using quirk a.k.a a villain. so enji's father wasn't (necessary) a quirkless gooder or a civilian either. heroes have already existed long before all might debut, just that that era was tyrannized by afo and, not really important but, the older generation had their quirks weaker than the new generation. it makes an era where heroes were there but not enough, where heroes tended to lose their lives in action and people lived in fear. with that scar then enji's father probably was a hero too.

also bc if he wasn't a hero then it made less sense for enji to put his portrait on the wall. that's an action only for those (who's gone) with prominent talent and/or achievements you revere. Japanese usually won't do it for family member, but i guess that partly implies how enji feels about his father? like, it sounds weird if his father died as a reckless civilian but enji was just deeply shook by the 'weakness'. he would have been a weak fool too and enji would have mourned him in the butsudan like he did with touya instead of looking up to his portrait. culture problem. it makes even less sense if enji's father was quirkless. how did it influence enji's self-deprecating take about his own quirk?

one more thing is if enji's father had a quirk it probably was fire-type and had the same physical limit as enji. (shoto and touya inherited that limit as well.)

idk about afo since i think that bald bastard is your typical 'i do this because i can, not for any particular reason' villain in the neighborhood. endeavor, as the world, didn't know ofa is a gastrointestinal quirk until after the war. he was simply an asshole, narcissistic Asian parent who thought of his children as expanded parts of himself. which was why shouto and touya were held significantly in his mind and heart, because fuyumi and natsuo doesn't inherit his fire part, and shouto and touya does. although such mindset probably had gone during the short time he and touya training together. idk, love changes people. every mistake he made after touya's death was driven by trauma and effort to deny his weakness.

#ask #bnha #somehow i went world-building on this ask #that ambivalent feeling enji has for his father...#endeavor #can you see it kun

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milesonthenet · 1 year

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DC and Marvel: Ten Rising Stars of Black Power (And more!)

In July of 1966, Marvel would debut a superhero that would change everything. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, Black Panther first showed up in issue 52 of Fantastic Four.

Black Panther got his own comic book series in 1977, but he wasn't the only one. In direct response to Marvel's African American superheroes (Such as Luke Cage and Black Goliath), DC recruited Tony Isabela to create the comic book series, Black Lightning. Black Lightning was the first African-American hero to star in his own DC series.

These two legends have helped pave the way for years of Black superheroes. Today, black stars shine in movies, television, and even comic books. This month, I choose to celebrate black history by counting DC and Marvel's newest and most popular black superheroes.

My qualifications for a Rising Black Star are simple. They are characters who have proven to be popular in their field. They might have their own comic book series. If not, that is also okay, because they have proven their excellence in other ways.

NUMBER 10: Malik White - Bolt ('White Adam')

Malik White is a medical student who is also a descendant of DC's iconic Anti-Hero, Black Adam. He makes his first appearance in Christopher Priest's Black Adam (2022), and quickly gains his powers. To contrast Black Adam's black and gold suit, the suit is decked out in all white.

Funnily enough, Black Adam even tries to coin him as 'White Adam'. Obviously, this does not stick, and Malik instead is referred to as Bolt. I think the name is a tad generic, but it's not like it has any major character attached to it.

Although his dialogue can be a little goofy ('Oppa Gangnam style'? Really?), Bolt has the heart of a hero. He's still a new character, but he just might have what it takes. He could be a legendary character for the DCU and be a new member of a potentially restored Black Marvel Family'

NUMBER 9: Sojourner 'Jo' Mullein - Green Lantern

Sojourner (Shortened to 'Jo') Mullein made her first debut in Green Lantern: Far Sector in 2020. The series was a part of DC's Young Animal imprint, a trading name DC uses to publish more mature stories and settings. She is the most recent green lantern from earth in the current continuity.

Sojourner Mullein is established as a detective of the Green Lantern Corps. In the past, she was a member of the NYPD, who witnessed her partner beat a man to death. Before she could turn him in, she was fired after being tagged in a Black Lives Matter Facebook post.

Sojourner Mullein has an excellent design and some spiffy glasses. My greatest hope is that we might see her continue to show up in the GL comics, even as an extra. In addition, perhaps she could lead the Justice League. This was something she did in the alternate future series, Future State.

NUMBER 8: Sam Wilson - Falcon (Captain America)

Sam Wilson is one of the biggest stars of the Marvel Cinematic Universe right now. However, his tenure as Captain America dates all the way back to 2015. After Steve Rogers retired, Sam took the role, and became leader of the Avengers.

What I love about Sam's design is that it blends his identities together. At first glance, it looks enough like a Captain America suit. However, the addition of the wings adds in a nice homage to his original identity, The Falcon.

I hope that Sam Wilson continues to fight the good fight, even as just Falcon. He is one of Marvel's most popular legacy heroes. Even when he relinquished the role as the Captain, he would still later return to it.

NUMBER 7: Riri Williams - Ironheart

One of the biggest stars of last year's Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is Ironheart. The movie has helped hype new and old fans for her own film. In addition, it establishes a friendly bond between like-minded geniuses, Shuri and Riri

Riri owes her popularity, to her creator, Brian Michael Bendis. Bendis has also worked on two other candidates below, Miles and Naomi. Riri Williams has garnered positive reception from mainstream fans and comic book readers alike. She is still going strong and has even starred in her own comic series.

Although her armor was a copy of Iron Man's, her armor has evolved to become more distinct. Still, at fifteen years old, she managed to reverse-engineer his technology and make her armors. You might say she is a successor of Iron Man, but she's also joined with The Champions.

NUMBER 6: Lunella Lafayette - Moon Girl

Lunella Lafayette is a 9-year-old inhuman who first debuted in 2015's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur. She's also best friends with a gigantic tyrannosaurus rex called Devil Dinosaur. Devil Dinosaur previously teamed up with an ape-like humanoid called Moon Boy. Although it might seem strange at first, Lunella gets her Moon Girl name from something else.

Lunella is also slated for an animated series of the same name, produced by Marvel Animation. The series is produced by famed actor Laurence Fishbourne. Laurence wants to create a black series that his daughters will look up to. In the TV series, Lunella will be voiced by Diamond White.

To be honest, I do not have much experience with Lunella. In fact, her TV series is the first that I have ever heard of. However, I believe that she could help inspire black girls across the world.

NUMBER 5: Naomi McDuffie - Powerhouse

Naomi McDuffie makes her first appearance in the aptly named Naomi series. She was created by Brian Michael Bendis who, as you know, helped create Miles Morales and Riri Williams. Naomi also had a CW series created by Ava DuVarney, which was unfortunately cancelled.

Naomi is a girl from an alternate universe, who was raised by a couple in our world. Although she may look small, Naomi's energy powers make her a living powerhouse. Naomi also rose to be a member of the Justice League, during Bendis' tenure as the book's writer.

Naomi was named in honor of Dwayne McDuffie, who helped pave the way for DC's Milestone imprint. McDuffie helped create other iconic black characters, such as Icon and Static. I think it is an honor that Naomi is named after them.

NUMBER 4: Jackson Hyde (/Kaldur)-Aquaman

Jackson Hyde is DC's third Aquaman, and the son of Black Manta. Jackson is initially inspired by Kaldur, a character created by the TV series, Young Justice. However, the two have similar, but different origin stories.

Jackson Hyde has made various appearances throughout the DCU. He was first shown in DC's Brightest Day series. In spite of that, he would get his origin story in Teen Titans, where he also became a member. In 2022, Hyde donned the mantle of Aquaman in Aquaman: The Becoming, making him the third person to hold the role.

Jackson has proven popular as one of DC's openly gay characters. He's been a part of DC's Pride series, alongside other LGBT characters. In addition, Jackson also had a brief tenure as a member of the Justice League during last year's event, Dark Crisis.

NUMBER 3: Nubia - Wonder Woman

Nubia is DC's first African American female superhero. She debuted in 1973's Wonder Woman, revealed to be Diana's fraternal twin sister. Although this origin does not stay the same, she is currently seen as a champion of the Amazons. Nubia also became Queen of Themyscira, after Hippolyta stepped down to become Wonder Woman.

As a character, Nubia has only recently come back into popularity. Like above, Nubia became the reigning queen of the amazons and led the comic series, Nubia: Queen of the Amazons. Nubia has also gained her own graphic novel, Nubia: Real One, written by L.L. McKinney.

I hope that Nubia continues to make appearances. At least three people have donned the identity of Wonder Girl, not counting Diana herself. Considering her appearance in Future State, I could definitely see Nubia donning the title herself. Furthermore, Nubia is also one of my mom's favorite superheroes, alongside Wonder Woman.

NUMBER 2: Miles Morales - Spider-Man

Miles Morales is currently one of DC's most popular black superheroes. He first showed up in Ultimate Marvel to replace Peter Parker, who had died. Miles led the Spider-Man series, before the events of Secret War led to him being merged into the Marvel Universe.

Miles Morales actually owes his creation to Donald Glover. The actor and musician served as Bendis' inspiration for Miles' personality and design. This was during Glover's tenure on Community, where in one episode of season two, he wore Spider-Man pajamas. This was also a reference to a failed virtual campaign that wanted Glover to star in 2012's Amazing Spider-Man.

As a character, I think Miles Morales owes much of his popularity to Spiderverse. The animated film helped secure Miles numerous new fans. In fact, Miles is also one of the most requested characters to join the MCU. I think Miles has already proven himself a rising star. However, I hope that he continues to shine brightly and inspire people across the world.

The HONORABLE Mentions

There are numerous honorable mentions to the list. Before we head to number one, I think we should talk about some of these.

Honorable 1: Augustus Freeman/Raquel Ervin - Icon and Rocket

Icon and Rocket first make their debut in the aptly named Icon series of May 1993. The two were published by Milestone, a popular imprint that paved the way for diversity in comic books. The Milestone books would later merge with DC's main Earth. Although they were left out in later stories, they would come back in Milestone Returns. Milestone Returns is a new initiative that brought back the old Milestone characters.

The book was initially something my father read. However, after reading it, I enjoyed their stories myself. I liked Rocket for being the young and impetuous partner to Icon. I also liked how she persuaded Icon to use his powers for good.

Honorable 2: Virgil Hawkins - Static

Virgil Hawkins is the superhuman teenager Static. Another Milestone hero, Virgil first debuted in June of 1993. Like many characters, he would find his way into the DCU as a member of the Teen Titans. Static would eventually vanish, but he would return with other Milestone characters in Milestone Returns.

Static is well-known for also having a popular cartoon series, Static Shock. The series had many crossovers with the DCAU, featuring Batman, the Justice League, and eventually Batman Beyond. This series also helped endear people to him and made him popular.

Honorable 3: John Stewart - Green Lantern

John Stewart is one of DC's most prolific black superheroes. He first debuted as a Green Lantern in between 1972 and 1973. He was created by Dennis O'Neil, who also helped push for his creation.

John Stewart is well-remembered because of his role in Justice League. He was a former Marines in the series, versus being an Architect like in the comics. This difference was later incorporated into John's comic background.

As a character, Stewart has taken the central stage and even led the Green Lantern Corps. He is slated for his own comic book series later this year, known as Green Lantern: John Stewart.

Honorable 4: Wally 'Ace' West - Kid Flash

Gracing the honorable list with his super speed, Wally West is one of the new additions from the New 52. Now known as Ace, he first debuted in June of 2014.

He was created to replace the old Wally West, however, this did not stick. His more popular cousin's fans were responsible for bringing Wally back. In fact, he was recently given the nickname 'Ace' to differentiate him from Wally.

Ace currently stars as Kid Flash, a role that he's also used in other media. Wally West was a part of the live-action TV universe known as the Arrowverse. He was played by Keiynan Lonsdale, starring on both The Flash and Legends of Tomorrow.

Honorable 5: Tim 'Jace' Fox - The Batman

Tim, known primarily as 'Jace' (Likely to differentiate him from Batman's Robin) is one of the most recent additions to Batman's mythos. He is the eldest son of Lucius Fox, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and one of Batman's oldest allies. He is also the brother of Luke Fox, formerly known as Batwing. However, his relationship with his family is estranged.

Fox officially became Batman in the Fear State event. Ahead of this, he would show up as Batman in DC's Future State. He currently stars as New York City's Batman in I Am Batman.

Honorable 6: Anissa Pierce - Thunder

Bringing the Thunder to our list is Anissa Pierce. Daughter of Black Lightning, Anissa uses the codename, Thunder. She makes her first debut in 2003's The Outsiders series. From there, she had a relationship with an Amazon by the name of Grace Choi.

Initially, Jefferson and Lynn did not want their daughter to become a superhero. Her father would only let her fight crime after she had graduated from college. By then, she pursued a career in crimefighting.

Outside of The Outsiders, Anissa was also a major character in the television series, Black Lightning. The first season introduced her abilities and her costume. Anissa also starred as part of DC's Other History of The DC Universe. The comic series explores the history of DC Comics from the perspective of minorities.

Honorable 7: Val Zod - Superman of Earth-2

Val-Zod first makes his appearance in DC's Earth 2, created by Tom Taylor and Nicola Nicola. He is adopted into the House of El, the same house that raises Kal-El and Kara Zor-El. Just recently, Val Zod has made his return to the primary DC continuity.

Michael B. Jordan is working with DC Comics to create a limited series for HBO Max. The series will likely focus on Val-Zod and his adventures. I hope that the series can still be produced in light of HBO Max's various cancellations.

Honorable 8: Calvin Ellis - President Superman

Calvin Ellis, also known as 'President Superman', made his debut in Issue 7 of 2009's Final Crisis. Since then, he has shown up in various other places. He was a major force in Grant Morrison's Multiversity and led the heroes to destroy a dangerous threat. He is also the leader of the Justice Incarnate, a group of heroes from across the multiverse. Last year, Calvin Ellis and the Justice Incarnate showed up in DC's Dark Crisis.

What I like about Calvin Ellis is that he draws his inspiration from a real-life figure. He was inspired by Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United States. I think that further puts more power behind his image and conception.

NUMBER 1: Princess Shuri - Black Panther

Now we reach the last and final rising star of black power. Fittingly, she's also the younger sister of the first black superhero. Shuri debuted in Black Panther's series, appearing in May 2005. She is the princess of Wakanda, and has donned the mantle in the past.

Thanks to her overwhelming popularity, she might get a chance at the role again. Her role in Wakanda Forever portrays the griefstricken Shuri learning to cope with the death of her brother. From there, we see Shuri battle against Namor and the forces of Atlantis.

I think Wakanda Forever is an important lesson in processing grief. We mourn with the characters as they give an emotional performance. For me, I would be happy to see Shuri take the role again in light of her film counterpart's success.

These are just some of the black stars I have become a fan of. I hope you enjoyed this place. I will return with a new post later. For now, see you later, and always remember; Wakanda Forever!

#dc #marvel #mcu #black heroes #dc comics #comic books

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Arab Character Joining Corrupt Superheroes, Police Parallels

Anonymous asked:

I’m writing a story with a Arabian diaspora main character. The story is about corrupt superheroes, and how they affect an oppressed superpowered minority. The main character is one of these superheroes, naively joining them in his teens believing he’s going to help people. Doesn’t help that his parents are having money trouble. Eventually he ends up fighting a superpowered crook, and gets a bystander killed.

1)I know portraying an Arabian character committing violence is a pretty touchy subject, even if accidental. Is there any way I can write this that makes it clear to the reader that the action itself is messed up without the unfortunate implication that Arabs are violent?

2)A large part of the story is the MC’s parents reaction. They are loving parents, however after this incident happens, they are confused and ashamed. While they still love him, they temporarily cut ties with him. Eventually they reconcile and start to be a family again. In my research (they are diaspora Saudi Arabians), Family is very important and tight-nit. Shame towards the family is to be avoided at all costs. However I’ve also read that disowning a family member rarely ever happens. Is there a way to write this kind of narrative with respect to this aspect of Arabian culture?

Let us begin with some terminology.

- If a person is from Saudi Arabia, they are Saudi Arabian, or more commonly, Saudi. This is their nationality.

- They may or may not be Arab. Arab is an ethnicity. Not all Saudis are Arab. Not all Arabs are Saudi.

- Arabic is a language. Lots of people across the world who are neither Saudi nor Arab speak Arabic.

- Arabian on its own is a word used to refer to a specific breed of horses.

If you are referring to humans, you want to either say "Saudi Arabian" (both words) or “Saudi” to indicate nationality, or "Arab" to indicate ethnicity. If you’re looking to describe your character’s culture, you probably want to call it Saudi culture. (While grammatically correct, talking about “Arab culture” doesn’t make much sense because Arabs are an incredibly diverse ethnic group and there is no such thing as a single monolithic Arab culture).

Now for the first question. In my mind, the issue is less about the character committing violence, and more about the premise of the story and how it mirrors real-life oppressive structures. You have an organized group of superheroes who think they are doing good by fighting “crooks” but in reality are enacting systemic oppression upon a marginalized group. This immediately brings to mind police violence, racial profiling, and the way that policing in North America is used as a tool of white supremacy while glorified in propaganda as a force for good. Essentially, you are telling a story about a character who joins an oppressive policing force, enacts violence upon a marginalized group as a result, and (I’m assuming) eventually realizes that they are not, in fact, the good guys. This is very close to being a “bigoted character learns not to be bigoted” story. I recommend re-examining your premise in light of the real-life parallels and asking yourself whether this is the story you want to tell.

The issue is compounded by the fact that your character is an Arab teen, who in real life is more likely to be the one facing racial profiling from the police. Taking this character and making him the oppressor in your story makes the already flawed premise even more problematic, especially if the characters in the oppressed group are white.

As for your second question, it seems believable to me that a teen’s parents might reject him if they learned that he committed a crime. However, when the family in question is Arab, you are suddenly feeding into harmful tropes about oppressive and violent Arab parents. You are asking if there is a way to write this respectfully. I believe that there is, but it requires a great deal of care, nuance, and cultural awareness. While it is possible to write a Saudi Arab character grappling with the consequences of violence and familial estrangement in a compelling way, the way your ask is phrased leads me to believe you are not equipped to do it justice.

- Mod Niki

Think about why Arab people committing violence is a touchy subject, and then think about the general propaganda narrative that came about from the act that made things so touchy.

It’s going to sound one hell of a lot like what you have here.

Military and police use buckets and buckets of propaganda to continue hooking in young, impressionable teens to commit state-sanctioned colonialism and oppression. That propaganda looks suspiciously like “we have health insurance, we will pay for your education, you just have to do what we tell you even if that means hurting or killing others, but it’s okay because you get to be the hero in the situation.”

Now, propaganda is a very powerful tool. I was taught, in my media classes, that controlling the message means shaping reality. The media is built as a propaganda machine, and when you start to see who owns what media properties you start to see some really disturbing patterns (Rubert Murdoch owns a lot of right-wing sources across America, the UK, and Australia, and he’s too rich to investigate his culpability in spinning terrible narratives found in right-wing publications. He owns the big names).

As Niki said, this situation mirrors police violence and police-sanctioned terrorism. And the very, very unfortunate implications of making the target of police violence be in that wheel. But I want you to look at the media situation that has made the plot happen.

Because even if you swapped out ethnicities, you’d still have a reckoning to do with the American culture that their primary social safety nets involve killing people.

I am not kidding.

Some of the most well-funded unions in the country are police unions. These people have pensions. They have health insurance. It’s damn near impossible to fire them. They get overtime very well mandated, and it’s a known thing among defence lawyers that arrests happen right before a cop’s shift will end so they get the overtime of filing the paperwork. They absolutely go into poor neighbourhoods and recruit based off people needing an escape, and them having the money to provide it.

A similar sentiment is true for the military, except they push for college education a bit more and don’t really have overtime, but they do have deployment bonuses. So the way to get extra pay for yourself is to go out and do colonialism outside the borders. The military doesn’t necessarily like it when the economy is doing well, and don’t like the idea of college being affordable, because they rely so heavily on poverty and fear of college debt to recruit.

The story you’re telling here goes so far beyond an individual’s actions and instead taps into America’s single biggest cultural investment: that oppressing others makes you a hero.

The Pentagon funds most military media out there as a propaganda tool, including most superhero movies and a large number of video games. This is in their budget. They will also go so far as to literally commission the games to exist. Part of getting that funding is you cannot critique America’s military, basically at all (the only exception I’ve seen is Ms Marvel, but that’s set in the 90s). This turns any sort of military-using media into a potential propaganda tool.

And the thing is? Even if you fall for that propaganda and were part of the military or the police, you still have to reckon with the fact you put whatever your own desires were above a huge track record of those groups being terrible. You still have to reckon with the fact you didn’t realize they were wrong, and were complicit in a lot of crimes.

This goes very far beyond “the action is terrible” and goes into “the system is rotten to its core, and you chose not to believe it, or to believe you could change what was built with blood.”

“Good” police officers get fired. If you try to question anything, if you try to say this action is wrong, you will absolutely get destroyed. Military’s much the same. You need some degree of buy-in to the concept of white supremacy to sign up for the military or the police, because you need to see their actions as not deal breakers instead of actions that violate multiple international laws.

In short: you need to see the people being oppressed as deserving of being oppressed to some degree in order to participate with police and the military.

Marginalized people can hold this belief, it happens. But that is a very sticky situation that outsiders shouldn’t touch.

It’s possible but difficult for you to write a white person having this sort of arc, but it would be extremely challenging to have it not come across as a white guilt story. To not have a socially aware audience roll their eyes at how long it took. You’d definitely not be writing a story with a diverse audience in mind, because you’d mostly appeal to those who saw the propaganda as just fine and not that bad.

This isn’t even getting into the oft-cited adage that boys who bully others become cops, while girls who bully become nurses. And the more police atrocities become mainstream news, the less and less people can convince themselves that becoming a police officer is a good thing.

Which brings me to the point of: how well-documented is this oppression? Is this character walking around in an oppressive situation like, say, pre-social-media where there was no direct access to the oppressed groups and you could close your eyes and look away even if it made national news? Or is this in a media connected world where these oppressed populations have a voice in the narrative?

The former has an angle of the character slowly realizing the horror and it’s slightly more forgivable for their early ignorance. But in any sort of world where there’s access to the people getting hurt? Things get more and more “ignorance is indistinguishable from maliciousness.” And keep in mind, these stories are read in the real world, where police brutality and war crimes go viral, and a lack of knowledge is getting harder and harder to defend as a position.

Media plays a huge role in shaping our perception of what’s happening. Cameras on a situation makes different activism tactics work, as we can see with how activism changed in the 60s and 70s as tv reached the masses. Social media has made it possible for you to look up firsthand accounts of discrimination within seconds.

This is a factor you are absolutely going to have to consider, when you want to look at how nice your hero is seen by marginalized or otherwise socially-aware people. If there is a way to find out how bad this superhero organization is before you sign a contract with them? Then that doesn’t look particularly good on the “hero”. You’d really have to establish them as super idealistic, super sheltered, super desperate, and/or just swallow the knowledge that they really don’t see anything that happens “over there to those people” as that bad.

All of the above is more than possible. And they’d still be seen as complicit no matter what justification you gave, because they are.

Does this mean all corrupt organization stories are off limits? No. The reason these stories have such deep cultural resonance right now is because of the propaganda I outlined above.

But you as the author are going to have to examine your own engagement with the propaganda narrative and do your own private reckoning so your own sense of guilt and compliance doesn’t bleed through the narrative too strongly, so you can tell a good story instead of an overt message story that’s you working out your own feelings.

By all means, write a story where police and the military are taken down, where propaganda is weaponized and the media is controlled (because that’s sure as hell the modern world).

But know that stories where the hero discovers the corruption already have a ticking clock because we, in the real world, are slowly being faced with a mountain of apathy instead of ignorance. The knowledge of oppression is out there so much that marginalized people are tired of the ignorance defence.

As the saying goes, “privilege is the ability to ignore the oppression of others.”

Propaganda, centralized media, and strategic cultural investment made it possible for police and the military to have a chokehold on their public perception. But that’s changing. The chokehold is starting to fade, people are starting to question their beliefs.

The past year has shown that knowledge isn’t the issue; it’s white supremacy. People don’t want to believe that any of this is that bad. People want to believe that oppression is justified, that if people just followed the law they’d be fine. They don’t want to question themselves. And marginalized people are tired of these narratives where, suddenly, people snap out of it. Because there was so much evidence to show it was bad, but it was only when you do one of the worst crimes imaginable that you realize this is bad? It’s only when it becomes personal that things are worth looking at critically?

No. And you need to examine where you are in processing your own complicity before writing a story where you’ve swapped around the ethnicities to try and distance yourself from the problem, where in the end you made the target the oppressor.

~Mod Lesya

#police brutality #oppression #arab #saudi arabia #military #superhero #superheroes #asks #violence #propaganda

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finexbright · 3 years

Text

YELLOW METAL - ZAYN

Posting the lyrics as a text post because it's much easier than screenshots and it helps with image ID as well.

ALL CREDITS GO TO @25Goldenn ON TWITTER.

(i'm only posting for my reference sake)

[after like the 10th minute, it’s me who has made an attempt to transcibe it]

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it's all bark and no bite, I'm tony stark embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I seen. Heart left on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them on a peice on my chest , at peace.

1:00

Flipped it on it's head. Gripped the script up now,flipped it don't you think. Fakers all around me, I've been living in pretense. Fake friends , won't make amends. There's no need for these mean comments to implore the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

What a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It's never leaving to a real sense so fuck the fence, and until it starts peeling colour it's fuck the fence.

1:22 -

You must be off it, I mean it , you know you ain't never get with the judging and I used to dread growing up, and too long I never felt like I belonged, but still long like a minute I ain't looking for no one

1:41- 1: 48

Kicking the game I'm serving, they're never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I'm always focused on never becoming you.

1:52-1:57

I'm seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser's winning, and no water is too deep to swim in.. Like im a .. killing , I'm all the way that and living/ limit.

2:07-:2:20

Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something I think you're a poor effort, tone deaf and I ain't treat you separate. Living, I'm in my element, riding it like a ... never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:33

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverance, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to (eminem?), you're feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my ----

2:33-2:43

And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I've been moving things in my mind like it's a ... Memories has made me wander if I'm the me being after you. What's the purpose that you do, I see you're walking up your line.

2:46 -2:55

I'm looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It's hard to say I know when I'm walking through the dirt. Talking ... nothing I can see for what it's worth. I'm tired of feeling hurt and I've tried enough but nothing works.

4:00-4:12

Just a.. with a cigarette, sun coming up, write my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I'm .. with the silhouette ... get fucked up for the thrill of it .

4:50-5:00

On the top floor, cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs .. , two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled

5:02- 5:12

This life it don't give you no armour, alot of myself can harm me. I swear on what's good, that I'm here til they take me. I pray that I'm wrinkled, at least over 80, started moving like a ...'

5:36- 5:45

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, couple people got me wrong and now I'm changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag.

5:45 - 5:55

Feeling undefeated, I'm the beast with the beasts, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I'm Caesar, I'm just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving clocking miles in it's region, moving like a legion.

5:55-6:06

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I'm a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I'm just here for the rap, then I'm leaving.

6:06- 6:17

I've had about enough of being my own enemy, it's time to .. moved up a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggled tin my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:17- 6:21

I ain't dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it's just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can't put that on your plate.

6:25-6:33

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don't say I can't communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And i know you know it's reverences , looking at your face.

6:33- 6:40

Can't justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I am the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I'm switching up the ...

6:46- 6:54

Confused, I can feel it all . I'm here to make a change. It's cold at 3am outside , I'm walking with your dog, thanking god that you don't talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:04

Driving down to find myself , cuz I've been getting lost. ...Lessons that I've learned I've tried teach it to myself. What I've learnt from certain people is that they're better than myself.

7:04-7:12

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. That burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:20-7:29

Tired of only hoping, we feel the ... come in. Gravity is the .. It kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking til they are favoured in amounts

7:46-48

eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker - z

7:54-56

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger

8:09-11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:42

Nobody's speaking the truth, I'm offended by the Sate. Look at the state of the news, I've decided the argument, decided my views, while they been sat in their chairs, I'm feeling pressured to choose.

8:42-8:50

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when your half the person I am. If it wasn't in your life, you didn't choose it. It's the funny thing about music. It's the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-58

Don't give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People's wearing ....

Been facing the racists back when i was a kid .born up in in 93'. been living it rough..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me and the kids that would call me paki still sit in the classroom chilling, and now that I'm older I see they treat us different

got me thinking I was the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues. 20 years later I'm still in the same boat.

9:15-9:25

20 years later I'm still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think this shit's a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain't got it like ...

'Boy your skin is so light', ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline's half white.

9:35-9:45

I don't know how that's acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I've been looking at the sky saying where's the day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you will speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I needed justice in this life and I trust that it's my fight, cuz when I'm writing it feel right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:03

Writing in all caps again, the pain it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me (down) but made me better.

10:05-10:16

I'm at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap (distorted).. cuz you know I been to real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would ... nesquik.

10:17-10:19

My name ain't on the list unless the label it ethnic.

10:19-

I ain't never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain't one for those things, so just save us the questions... man..allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get 'em a breathmint.

10:29- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I'm threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn't slow me with ... Now they all wanna hear me go a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don't believe the .. ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10;42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they'll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

10:54 -11:00

And to be honest, it's insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salted. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I'd rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when I ...

'What I like, farm life and the tractor'

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don't wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden at night in the 98' in the ... seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

[So the Twitter person stopped it, so I just slowed the audio and started writing whatever i heard. So all faults are mine from this point on.]

(An old recording plays)

Cause I know few millions still living that way

Dealing with the work

They should know cause they don't deserve

It hit peak cause i hit the nerve

Only way that they should learn cause they shoot firm

In my ways I don't wanna change, everything just stay the same

We trynna fuck these ......

The lights dim so get the chum (?)

Why these men be nice to my face i ain't trynna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone

Never need the trophy or the short piece

Never show peace in all face fleas (?)

Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i'm sick

Now you see where i come from ... Only achievement in this life is ... And petty crimes....that we can't afford

So I stole it, the rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job

A poor man's game trynna sit and protect god (?)

And now you've problems you gotta solve them

Used to settle tables now i'm writing on myself

Cause we all like animals we just need some help

Caught my eyes, put my heart in

For the knowledge i'm not charging see I got it all free

....like i'm saying it for the feed

Need a reason see me bleeding for my creed

Suck you with the words that I keep em up my sleeve

Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the plead (?)

I ain't doing all this, used to saying please

Let me flow up, be stinging with the bees

They trynna kill us when they see us

(Music)

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook

And the same far looks

Something in the way i adjust till i stick

Free falling like the ship, free falling till i burst

Remember 21 brother gave me no fucks

Trying to project when they give me the looks

In the projects, in the objects

In my own way, never give me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till i stole the..

Don't wanna relish in the pain but I can't resist

(Music)

[EDIT : UPDATED]

YELLOW METAL - ZAYN (CONTD) (all of this is done by me)

(Zayn vocalising)

Hand on the stick, be a billionaire

Trynna lead the lead the way, been selling out since..

All rhymes are for the readers between the lines

Till they get their connotation, tell them lived your life

And then i lived a life adjusting.....

On my own spaceship, trynna find greatness

Stuck in fine lines, i'm fighting in my prime

Aging like i'm wine, aging in my face

But still my words can't be defined

Start something sick and on my mind what's next

Just picking all the...and i'm taking my cheques

But I know I'm staying and I need pain like it's fucking death

Imma get it if it's taking my breath

Break down, sweating around, i ain't messing till I'm the best

Speaking in coded sentences

You shoulda thought about a strategy before you went up the stratosphere

But i guess...

You could use some practice...till you get the blackness

There's nothing like zealous tactics, fooling em like all like catfish

And I'm like a legend, I get to be the roughest

And I'll like iridescent leaving em all guessing

Making up my ... All year parked near a nixon (?)

Shining like a star you could see it from a distance

.....me i'm brown Paki, i'm the most different

Certain stages to this level ain't it because i fared this to the devil to collect...

Imma get all cleaned up like I'm the devil i'm the mountain..

Sight smart like a weapon, this is my kinda setting

I write the word I'm starting...

The food is right for the taking, i think i might

(Zayn vocalising)

Eccentric things i mention like a kid stuck in detention

Trynna escape, I'm just spitting what is written on the next page

Spitting image of my daddy since young days

Born sinner and I'm living like fucks sake

And I'm running, too cunning with no plumbing waterworks that sung something that resonate

I thought it first like giving birth....

They see me doing and they know it won't work

Don't know what's worst the way that you life your life or the way that you write a verse

Should be nervous, you don't deserve it what scratch the surface

I leave a crib and they lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Tryna be a better person than what the world deserve to see

Cause I see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Seeks an arrest, What's the reason is theft

are these the kinda kids that we're bringing up next?

Distorted reality of the needy family.... to see the damages

(Zayn vocalising)

[this is till min 17:40]

(Zayn vocalising - I don't wanna be a part of this)

Sometimes they ask the questions ... Form a sentence...

To this form is distant norm

Is this the sentence, i feel defenceless

I played the setlist and all my blood sweat and tears they forgot to mention

Feeling loss going off into different sections

I feel like love wrecked it

If it's my drug why am I waiting for the next fix?

Affected, can't believe that you left this

I guess I leave with the best wish, moving on like next I'm fighting for the ledges (?)

You see all of the facts are true

Cause if we're falling down we're falling down together the staircase

To have it ripped down the middle like it happened

Mind fried, but talking sense

They ain't got a sense in them...

Need to spell it out for them big kids

... witness, i know you feel affected but you always love it..

While I'm laughing at ..... laughing with me

They don't fit me, my body fraught from this new to old city, I'm sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty

I've been abroad to the west coast..

It's okay, to be yourself, sitting talking to myself

I've been walking for the longest just need a little rest

No I ain't the strongest, I can feel it in my chest

Talking about my feelings in the need to get the best

They leave and see me breathing in my breath

Till death do us part it's just seeded in my heart like a work of art

Never winning, I'm just scarred....from the start

Do I play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess I'm onto something cuz the talks feeling right ,

Every cloud got a lining

Like Morales, figured that they jealous that they could never tell us to change because the weather never made me question... whether or not I'm at that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way

Most of my ... I see it everyday

Are you hearing the same things that I do

Maybe the shit's hitting like haiku

How much did you pay them to hype you

Recycling your flaws but they ain't liking you

Leaving in conceded and full of diesel like engines they need ....the ending will be revealing

[there's still four mins left if anyone wants to finish this]

#yellow metal #lyrics

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houseofhurricane · 2 years

Text

Rules for Spies: Chapter Eight

Summary: While Azriel and Gwyn work to free Koschei’s captives, attraction turns into something more.

Chapter Word Count: 4,521

Warnings: This chapter has no warnings, but this fic includes mature consensual sexual situations, references to past assault, and torture.

Art & Banner: cosmikla

All chapters are available on Archive of Our Own. All previous chapters linked here.

They’re almost through with training when the horizon erupts in fire. Instantly, Azriel shoots up into the sky, Cassian’s booming wingbeats sounding alongside him. As he tries to locate the source of the attack, he hears Nesta and Gwyn down below, telling the priestesses to run for the exits, their voices low but urgent enough that the answering footsteps are swift.

The flash of gold pulls swiftly from the horizon, revealing wings covered by feathers of flame. The firebird.

“Shit,” Cassian groans, but he flies toward the bird without hesitation, trailing a crimson shield behind him. Azriel follows, sending his shadows to the training ring, down into Velaris, near as possible to the firebird herself. He needs as many vantages as possible.

There’s something wrong with this magic, his advance guard hisses as it returns. It is not a part of this world.

He’d suspected Koschei’s interference the minute he’d identified Vassa’s daytime form, but at the confirmation, he speeds forward until he reaches Cassian.

“Koschei’s controlling her,” he says, knowing better than to tell his brother to be careful, that the words would have the opposite effect, just as they would for him.

“Just when I thought every human queen had gone evil.”

Azriel chuckles and then resumes strategizing. As far as they know, Koschei has never held control of Merrill for very long, but Vassa has flown the length of Prythian in hours. Even from the little time he’s spent with her, he doubts the Queen of Scythia would attack if she were in her right mind, and her alliance is too valuable to risk harming her.

“We need to find a way to contain her.”

“Then we’re going to have to flush her into the Illyrian mountains until she’s too tired to stay in the air,” Cassian says, his expression grim as he turns to Azriel. Trying to calculate his willingness to go into Illyria.

There’s a reason, after all, that Rhys assigns him missions all over this world, but gives all the work in the northern territories to Cassian and Mor. What Azriel would like to do to Merrill is nothing compared to what, in the darkest corners of his mind, he’d like to do to Illyria and nearly all its citizens.

“We’d just have to make it to sunset.” They can both fly for longer, but likely not at the speed that Vassa’s marking. She’s already halfway across Velaris, bright as a second sun. Her path is aimed directly at Cassian and Azriel, at the House of Wind beyond them.

“Thankfully the days are short.” Cassian’s smile is brutal and a farce. In his mind, he’s already marked out their required speed, the direction and force of the winds, the route they’ll have to take. The biting cold of the wind at their altitude. Just as Azriel’s own mind and body and power were made for spying, Cassian was meant to make these swift battlefield calculations, the decisive shifts of strategy and force.

So when Cassian changes his direction, veering away from Vassa and towards his homeland, Azriel follows him without hesitation.

She wants to speak with you, his rear guard whispers, racing to catch up to his flight. He realizes that the “she” is Gwyn and wonders that his shadows would refer to her so generally, as if she is the only female in the world.

Why?

She wants to use her powers. She thinks that this is her fault.

Azriel is just about to tell his shadow that there’s no way this is Gwyn’s fault when a glance behind him reveals no change in Vassa’s trajectory.

She’s still flying directly toward the House of Wind, where Gwyn and Nesta wait, their swords glittering with those magical flames, the red and blue of their own shields, which the firebird is about to cross.

“She’s not following us,” he calls to Cassian, and without waiting for his brother to turn back, he swoops toward the House of Wind.

There’s a swell of fire and nothingness, and Vassa emerges through a hole in the shield.

“Definitely the death-lord,” Cassian mutters from over his shoulder. “He must be desperate to put on such a show.”

“Or he needs what we have.” Which could be anything: Nesta, Feyre, the Dread Trove. Gwyn.

When he reaches the training floor, Gwyn’s face is so pale that her freckles look like ink spattered on her nose and cheeks, and for seconds they don’t have, Azriel wants to kiss each one.

Instead, he wheels on her. “You should have run with the other priestesses,” he says, crossing his arms even as he glances at the sky, monitoring Vassa’s approach. She will be here in a minute or two.

“I found something yesterday, and Koschei has come to claim it.” Her voice is flat but her eyes are burning with a dozen emotions he doesn’t have time to catalogue. “Let me see if I can command her.”

“I’ve seen Vassa tear armies apart when she’s in this form. Without any of Koschei’s power running through her.”

“It’s going to be worse if she sets this mountain aflame,” Gwyn says, and though he sees Cassian shaking his head, Azriel knows that she’s not wrong. “Fly me to her.”

“You haven’t figured out how to command a guarded mind.”

“Can a human guard their mind from any of us?” She asks the question as if he is a bright student who is missing the point, and then wraps her arms around his neck, so that he has to catch her body against his.

Not wanting to see the expressions on Cassian or Nesta’s faces, he launches them into the air, vowing that he will throw himself in front of Gwyn if she cannot force Vassa to turn back. Because for all his experience, in this moment Azriel doesn’t have a better strategy.

Against him, Gwyn reverberates with power, a bell ringing in reverse as some fundamental tone builds inside her, sound into a note that cannot be ignored, the opening salvo in a melody that’s haunting and lovely. She glows with the song, her hair rising in a copper halo, so that he cannot look away from her radiance.

The firebird slows her approach just slightly.

Her magic is working, the shadow reports, the one he sent to follow Vassa’s movements.

“What do you want with this city?” Gwyn asks, and it is a shock to hear how her voice is both like and so unlike the way he usually hears her. Insistent but also bright and pleasant, as if this could simply be a light diplomatic discussion over an extravagant meal. She sounds more convincing than when she commanded Merrill. Then, she had been imperious and wrathful. Now, even knowing it’s not what she seeks, Azriel himself wants to provide an answer.

The firebird screams.

The resonance intensifies. Azriel’s ears ring from the sound and the power that propels it. Gwyn glows brighter, even more brilliant than the firebird.

“Tell me what you want with this city.” It’s not a question now, and there is anger in Gwyn’s voice, and sadness.

“You took something from him,” the firebird says in Vassa’s voice, as if the words are pulled painfully from her lungs. Her wings barely beat against the wind. Her body sags in the air, and he stays alert to any change in Koschei’s magic. Whether he’s preparing to strike Vassa or Gwyn. “He sent me to retrieve it.”

“What was he hiding in the library?” He had expected Gwyn to soften her words, to be compelled by Vassa’s suffering, but her tone is steely, maybe a product of her training.

“He will not tell me.”

The firebird’s wings stop for one second, then another.

For a moment, she seems to hang aloft as though suspended by will or magic, but then Azriel blinks and Vassa is falling through the air. Her eyes are open, panicked, as if she is trying to will herself into flight.

Azriel casts a shield below her, too hasty to hold her for long, right as Gwyn shouts, “FLY HOME, VASSA!”

The magic in the words is an explosion, rippling through the air.

Vassa’s wings beat a booming answer, and within seconds she is flying by her own will, turning back to the south and the human realm.

Gwyn does not dampen her power until the firebird disappears over the horizon, and then she slumps against him, the air around them falling into silence.

“She was fighting against him,” she says as he turns back to the House of Wind. “She wanted to follow each one of my commands. Not just because of my magic. But he held her, and then--”

“His hold on her was too strong.”

“No,” she says, biting her lip, “he abandoned her. He’d driven her all this way, at an incredible pace, and she had no strength to fly. I could feel her weakness as she fell.”

“Then how is she getting home?” He suspects the answer, but needs to hear her confirmation.

“The strength of my command.”

“Your magic is flying her to the human realm?”

Already she has slumped against him, an answer to his question.

When he reaches Cassian and Nesta, they hold out their arms for Gwyn, but Azriel waves them off.

“Get Madja,” he says, crossing the training ring, “And Rhys.”

“You’re the one who can winnow,” Nesta says, not falling a step off his brutal pace as he takes the stairs into the House, where the priestesses have gathered, weapons in their hands. When they see Gwyn, they gasp and murmur, and he acknowledges them only with a little nod, then returns his eyes to her pale face, the violet circles around her eyes, the arm that slumps out of his embrace. When he listens closely, he can still hear her heart beating, her inhale and exhale, but the fact that Gwyn is still alive does not calm the panic that roars inside his mind. The voice inside insisting that Gwyn is hurt and in danger and needs him.

“I’m not leaving her,” is all he says before he kicks open the door of Gwyn’s room and lays her gently on the bed, grateful when he hears Cassian’s quick steps for the exit so he can fly and summon the healer.

The House has already turned back the quilts on Gwyn’s bed and provided flannel pajamas on the nightstand, atop her formidable pile of books.

“Then turn around,” Nesta growls, her fingers pausing on the pulse point on her friend’s neck before they reach for the fastening of her leathers. She stares at Azriel until he obeys, shuffling to face the wall. He tries not to think about Gwyn’s limp, pale body, untouched by the brightness of her smile, her casual grace.

“Is she injured?”

“Her body looks unharmed,” Nesta says, dropping the leathers on the floor in a pile. “But her skin is-- she feels cold to the touch.”

There’s a scraping sound, crockery against wood, as the House provides a soup fragrant with sage and garlic, along with three large mugs of tea.

“Are you going to keep these warm until she wakes?” Nesta asks, bemusement breaking through her fear and anger as she addresses the wall. The steam rises a little thicker from each offering, and Azriel can hear Nesta smoothing her fingers over Gwyn’s hair, her cheek.

“All done?” He can’t keep the impatience out of his voice.

“You can turn around.”

Gwyn is leaning against Nesta’s shoulder, and Azriel braces her head one with one hand, her back with the other, as he and Nesta lower her to the pillow and tuck the quilts around her. He watches her for a long moment to reassure himself that she’s still breathing.

“She used too much power, didn’t she?” Nesta says, holding one of Gwyn’s hands in both of hers, her voice almost gentle as she awaits his confirmation. Once he gives it, she says, “She’ll wake up in a few hours with a headache, and she’ll be fine.”

“Koschei is hunting her.”

“Someone is always hunting one of us, Az. I would think you’d be used to it by now.”

He takes Gwyn’s other hand, his thumb resting over the rhythmic presence of her pulse, and knows that Nesta is right. Rhys has been hunted nearly all his life, and Azriel is pained at the threat and the loss, but never to the point where he’s reduced to inaction. Cassian, Feyre, Elain, and Nesta have all been harmed or captured and he’s continued with the work at hand, to save them or to continue the battle they were fighting. Now he wants only to lay his body over Gwyn’s, to warm her and to shield her against whoever might come bearing Koschei’s magic.

He only shakes his head at Nesta, not knowing how to express all of that in words.

“She said she’d found something in the library,” he says instead. “Koschei sent Vassa to get it back.”

He knows he should be searching the room to see if the object is here, but he can’t take his eyes or his awareness off of Gwyn. Can’t stop wondering if her lips look a little rosier. But Nesta is scanning the room. He can feel her gaze from the way the bed shifts under her, and he notes it, vaguely, as something he needs to teach in their training sessions, how to look without giving away the intentions of your awareness.

Gwyn murmurs a little but does not wake, and Nesta lays her hand on the quilt and walks toward her desk, then moves the chair away and squats.

“There’s something strange here. It feels like magic that’s trying not to exist.”

“That sounds like Koschei.”

She emerges from beneath the desk with an onyx box that fits neatly in the bend of her elbow, which might seem innocuous if not for two things that are immediately clear to Azriel. The first is the raging onslaught of the magic that emanates from the box like some foul wind. The second is a prophecy Elain made while they prepared for the war with Hybern.

There is an onyx box that he possesses, Elain had said, her eyes and maybe her mind only half in their world, more vital than anything… save for them. The girls.

“Put it down.” The words are a command, and Nesta, incredibly, scrambles to the floor, depositing the box on the rug with concern on her face.

“What’s inside of it?”

“We need to ask Elain.”

Nesta doesn’t quite glare at him as much as threaten to flay him with her eyes.

“My sister is receiving Lucien Vanserra at the river estate this week.” The warning is clear in the words, especially when she turns back to Gwyn on the bed. How obvious he’d been in his pining, if even Nesta in her grief and anger had been able to see through his absences.

“I don’t care about that,” he says, taking his eyes off Gwyn only long enough to glance at the box. “But she made a vision about a sorcerer-lord and his onyx box. I’d like to see if she can identify it. Lucien can come if he likes.”

“I think she’s really happy,” Nesta says, and he suspects that if he asks whether she’s talking about Elain or Gwyn, she won’t be able to answer.

A moment later, the door snicks open and Madja and Rhys walk inside, the former fragrant with herbs as she moves to Gwyn, shooing Nesta and Azriel away with a gentle wave of her hand.

“She will be all right,” Madja says, her warm golden gaze fixing on Azriel. “Let me see what I can do to speed her healing.”

She takes Gwyn’s hands and a white glow envelops her body.

Meanwhile, Rhys has crouched next to the box on the floor, tilting his head as he considers it.

“She said she was going to bring it to you during today’s session,” Azriel says, unable to keep from sneaking glances at Gwyn, who is breathing a little easier under the glow of Madja’s magic. It might be his own will that colors his perception, but her face no longer looks quite so pale. “Koschei came looking for it.”

“Whatever’s hidden behind it is locked behind one hell of a binding spell,” Rhys says, reaching out his fingers. Nesta hisses and he pulls them away, frowning as he looks at her.

“What happened?”

Nesta and Azriel tell him the whole story, and, once he’s reassured the priestesses and sent them back to the library, Cassian joins in with his own report.

“So we’ll have to anticipate that this is just the first attack.” Rhys runs his fingers through his hair. He turns to Azriel, his tone too neutral. “Once Gwyn is able, I want the two of you to meet with Lucien. Aside from Helion himself, he’s the only person I know who might be able to unravel this binding spell, and as it happens he’s coming to my home tomorrow.”

“We’ll want to meet with Vassa as well.”

“Can she tell you anything more?”

“Gwyn can get that information.” Without thinking, he reaches for her on the bed and takes her hand. It’s instinct, this desire to be near her, to know that she will be all right.

Something softens in Rhys’ expression and he nods. “We’ll talk more about this later. Let me know when she wakes up.”

“And try to keep her from depleting her power to this extent,” Madja says, circling the bed to where they’ve clustered. “She will be tired for a few days, but there could be permanent damage if she doesn’t learn to be careful.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” Azriel says, though Rhys is the one handling that portion of her training. He can feel Rhys and Cassian watching him, the weight of their eyes, but as he’s learned to do over the centuries, he stays silent, outwaiting them.

Madja leaves with instructions on a simple restorative potion, and Cassian leads a protesting Nesta from the room, his arm curled tight over her shoulders. Only Rhys remains.

“I didn’t realize it was a slow day for you,” Azriel says.

“You care for her.”

A year ago, at solstice, Rhys had spoken to him in the voice of the High Lord, powerful and deadly, and in spite of his anger at his command to keep away from Elain, on instinct alone, Azriel would have had to follow his command. He has resented Rhys for that moment for months, even if he’s come to understand why it happened. How wrong he was. Yet there remains a distance between them, which Azriel maintains because his friend had no faith in him.

But now, Rhys speaks with the voice of his oldest friend, kind and concerned, and that’s the only thing that makes Azriel lift his gaze from Gwyn’s face, the small rise and fall of her body as she breathes.

“I can’t help it,” he says, finally.

The words seem too small for what’s inside of him.

Rhys only nods, and then Azriel says, “I will try not to hurt her.”

“I know,” Rhys says, then picks up the onyx box and carries it out of the room.

Azriel pulls a chair close to the bed and picks up one of the books on Gwyn’s nightstand. Published long ago, the words are formed differently enough that he’s fully absorbed in the legend, the sorcerer from another world, and, hours later, he hardly hears her stirring until she says his name, and then he’s so struck by the sound of it that for a moment he forgets how to form words.

“What happened?” she asks, pushing herself to sit up.

“You drew on too much of your power too quickly,” he says, putting his hand on her back, to hold her up. “Madja says you’ll be back to normal in a few days. But Rhys and I will help you learn to manage things better.”

She nods, and he sees she’s already back to herself, curious and perceptive, made for this kind of life, and there’s a clenching in his chest as if his heart is being squeezed. “The box is gone.”

“Rhys is going to ward it securely. We’re to meet with Lucien, see what he knows about the binding spell.”

“I tried to break it open but I couldn’t,” she says, and he hears the sadness in her voice, and something deep inside him hurts with her.

Something is different. He’s been drawn to Gwyn for a while, even before he was ready to acknowledge it, but she’s never had this effect on him.

“You can’t just break open strange boxes,” he says, more harshly than he intended.

“Why not?” For all that she can barely hold herself up, Gwyn does not sound weak, but bright and brazen.

Right then, Azriel realizes. What’s between them. Why he could not leave her side.

His mate glares at him with eyes as bright as the sunlit sea, and Azriel feels the warmth rising from her body, the insistent thumping of her heart, the heat and will and mind and radiance that make her up. He wants to pull her close against him and simultaneously he wants to remove her from the mission, lock her in some gorgeous tower where she’ll be safe and happy always.

“You could get hurt,” he says, finally, aware of how stupid it sounds, how insufficient to the moment.

“And why would that matter, if it helped advance the mission?” She leans back against his grip, her eyes intent on his. As if she suspects the magnitude of the question.

“Because it will hurt me. If you’re harmed.”

She reaches out her hands and links them behind his neck. He can feel her breath on his cheek.

“It will hurt me too, if you are harmed,” she says, and he could spend a thousand years cataloguing every emotion that forms, half-revealed, on her face, “But Koschei is scared now, of whatever we have in that box.”

“You should have told me you had it in your room.”

“I should have. Last night was hard.”

She had been a little quiet at dinner, after she’d come from singing at the evening service, then had begged off to continue her research. He’d thought about knocking on her door and hadn’t, not wanting to intrude.

“You can tell me.”

“You mean that?” And he realizes that she doesn’t know that they’re mates. But that it might not be unwelcome.

“I want to know when you have a bad night. Not just because of the mission.” His shadows twine around her shoulders, move through her hair like smoke.

“All right. Then it was realizing Merrill had stolen the manuscripts on Koschei. And finding the box in her office. And not being able to open it. And realizing that I can only use my power on people, how horrible that is. And singing at the evening services and feeling -- I think it might be time for me to leave the library. And I have been so happy there, coming back to life. I’ve felt so safe. Though maybe this whole time that was a lie. And it was too much. I could barely sleep, even with a tonic.”

He lowers her gently to the bed, then gently unclasps her arms so that he won’t loom over her, though he can’t make himself let go of her hands.

“Next time, I’ll stay up with you. We can talk about all of it, if you like.”

“And if I don’t want to talk?” Her lips quirk upward.

He so badly wants there to be an invitation in the question that he doesn’t trust what he hears in her voice.

“Then,” he says, swallowing, “we can be quiet together.”

She takes a deep breath, pushes herself upright again, and he catches her against his chest. It’s an instinct, he realizes, to pull her towards himself.

“When are you going to kiss me?” she asks, the words a little breathless, muffled against his leathers. As if she’s been wanting to ask the question for a while, but has held herself back. He thinks of all the hours they’ve spent, since she started staying at the House,

“I didn’t want to force you,” he says, and it’s an effort to keep from covering her mouth with his own, to lick her sweet lips until he finds out what kinds of sounds she makes when she’s aroused. “And you can barely sit up straight, now.”

She levers herself up, fingers pressing into his armor, and when he looks into her eyes, he sees the desire that darkens her irises, which make him think of the plumes of exotic birds, the depths of the ocean.

“I thought I would never want to be touched by any male,” she says, “let alone kissed. But with you -- I’m not scared to want all of it.”

This time, when she twines her arms around his shoulders, he lets the motion pull his mouth toward hers. He savors that first press of her lips against his, soft and full and sweet, feeling them lift into a little smile as her eyes drift shut. Her fingertips stroke the nape of his neck, and there is something so easy about the way they fit together.

My mate, his heart pounds.

But he does not allow his need to drive him onward. He’s alert, instead, to the movements of Gwyn’s body. If she stiffens or hesitates, he will pull himself away from her, give her space and air.

Instead, incredibly, she opens her mouth against him, her tongue licking his lips, and he opens for her, trying to memorize her taste, her scent, the feeling of her hot sweet mouth.

“Nightingale,” he whispers against her lips. The bird, his companion on so many missions to the continent, that turns the darkest night into the setting for the sweetest melody. A name he gives her to be spoken just between them, for her power and the beauty he hopes he will one day find inside it.

“Shadowsinger,” she whispers back, pushing her fingers into his hair, her lips on his cheek, his ear, his jaw, even as he feels her begin to slump against him, the falling of her hands, the exhaustion of the day and the outlay of her magic catching her.

As gently as possible, he settles her against the pillows, watching for any sign that she’s overexerted herself, to make sure that her flushed cheeks are not from a rising fever. Though he can feel her falling into sleep, she extends her hand, reaching to cup his cheek.

“You’d tell me if this were a dream?”

“I’ll still be here when you wake up,” he promises, “though Nesta might be here to chaperone.”

Gwyn only lets out half a laugh before sleep claims her. It’s a long while before Azriel lets go of her hand.

Notes: So... big chapter, lots of developments! I hope you enjoyed it.

For more theories, thoughts, and occasional sneak peeks, follow me on Instagram at house.of.hurricane or TikTok at houseofhurricane.

Thank you so much for reading! 🧡

Taglist: @almosttenaciousmoon, @azrielbedara, @azrielsdarling13, @books0lover, @brown-and-weird, @camreadsum, @cozycomfyliving08, @drinkbleach0, @girlbossenergy, @glemiessa, @gwynrielsupremacy, @hlizr50, @imsointobooks, @katekatpattywack, @lightwood-bane13, @livelyblu, @lola-lightwood, @meher-sumedha, @moonbeammadness, @mystical-blaise, @nansr, @nervousninjasuit, @onemorenightdreamer, @rubyriveraqueen, @ruthieluvsbooks, @sanniegirl1214, @saramoonbeam, @secretlovelybeauty, @shisingh, @soffiiione, @thenerdywriter, @the-stars-eternal, @trashforazriel, @valkyriesbooks, @vassien-supremacy6, @vikingmagic33, @whoever-you-choose-to-love, @witching-by-the-willow, @zanywolffriendhairdo

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pndnj · 3 years

Text

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend.

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41- 1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec, get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone, it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor, cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all, I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker, i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun, seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some, get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice, i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon, this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

#zayn #yellowmetal #cathartic #feel free to correct me pls #cathartic lyrics

115 notes · View notes

deltas-writing-corner · 3 years

Text

Courtship (4): The Gargoyle Graveyard

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland (Malleus x GN!reader)

Author note: Again, thank you all for being patient with me and I apologize for having a very inconsistent writing schedule. I'm going to make it my goal to update on a bi weekly basis instead of leaving you all in silent limbo. Also a reminder I suck at figuring out which warnings to put so if there's something that needs to be forewarned that I failed to disclose please lmk!

Warnings: Mentions of heavy bodily injuries | childhood trauma/neglect | discussions/mentions of discrimination | mentions of virginity/sexual history

Previous chapter | Next Chapter

AO3 version

Clay. Stone. Porcelain. Plaster. Metal. There are even gargoyles carved entirely of wood! Some statues are stand-alone works of art while others are part of a clear collection or series of similar inspiration. They even come in all sorts of shapes and sizes; as small as an apple or a towering height to rival Malleus himself. No matter what, each grotesque has been crafted with the utmost consideration, by well seasoned and knowing hands. Even the ones that have clear defects and cannot serve their intended purpose are free of overabundant ivy, weeds, or dust. There’s a clear degree of love and care the family who makes these statues has for their craft that makes him feel less alone in his interest in an uncherished form of art.

“It should be around here somewhere,” you muse aloud. Ever since he expressed interest in seeing more sculptures made with non-traditional materials, you’ve been keeping your eye out for a particular one that would fulfill his yearning. You eventually find it and eagerly point to it. “There it is!”

Malleus watches as you approach a massive-sized statue covered with a thick and half-wet tarp. He helps you remove the cover, revealing a winged and slightly humanoid canine. There are many more grotesques with a similar design, but what makes this one stand out the most is the material it’s made out of.

“Amazing!” Malleus awes. “I’ve never seen a grotesque of this size made entirely of glass! They’ve even managed to maintain their attention to detail despite such an abnormal material choice.”

“You can even see the inner channel where the water would flow in and redirect out of its mouth,” you notice.

“They even went out of their way to make it functional despite it being unfit for actual installation?” Malleus inquires with disbelief. “Such a shame.”

“If you’re looking to buy anything here, I’m afraid it's a lost cause. One of the first warnings the grandfather gave me is that none of these are for sale.”

“What was his second warning?”

“If we damage anything, even as small as a scratch, he’ll kill us.”

“How charming,” he chuckles. “I cannot blame him. These statues must take weeks to complete. Time is a human’s greatest enemy.”

“For some, sure. But when I went to visit the family and talked to the old man, he was lunging around all this heavy equipment like he was still in his prime,” you recall. “He lives for his craft. If there’s anything humans are at risk of their entire lives, it’s a lack of motivation and reason to live.”

“I suppose that’s true, but the lifespan of humans and the inevitable effects of aging is difficult to live with, especially once it begins to hinder one’s ability to do what one could previously do without issue. ”

“You’re not wrong,” you acknowledge. “But I think I’d rather live a short life with fulfillment than a dull, long-as-shit life.”

To show that he’s entirely on your side, Gunter lets out a guttural bark while his tail rapidly wags and thumps the damp ground, coating the ends of his bushy tail in specs of dirt and dirtied, remnant snow of the north that has managed to stay frozen on the isles warmer south end.

“You’re only agreeing with them because you’ve been promised food,” Malleus chastises. “Don’t think I didn’t pick up on your grumbling stomach.”

“And don't think I didn't pick up on your stomach rumbling either your highness," you quip back at him. "The family has a small cottage nearby we can use. We'll settle down for a bit and eat before sightseeing some more."

Before you turn and walk in the direction towards the aforementioned lodgings, you reach your hand out for Malleus to take and he latches onto you with restrained enthusiasm. He's taller than you, but he takes care not to take his normal strides as to not leave you struggling to keep up with him. Gunter doesn't know the way, so he trots beside you every step of the way up until the destination is in plain view. The cottage is small but well-attended. There’s a rustic flair to its construction that makes it feel familiar and safe despite never stepping foot in it before.

"Those gargoyles were something, huh?" you remark to him while you tap and shake off the gunk wedged into the soles of your heavy boots against the frame of the door.

"Indeed," he nods, taking your cloak off for you and hanging it on the wooden rack nearby. "I don't think I've ever seen that many gargoyles in one day. Just when my eyes land upon an intriguing one, there's several more that catch my attention."

The way he gets all wide-eyed is outright adorable. It makes you grin just as enthusiastically too. "I bet your club is going to have a field day once you tell them about this!"

His child-like smile turns into one of disappointment. "I'm certain they would, if I wasn't the sole member that is."

Your hands halt from pulling out and setting down all the premade food out of your pack. "Seriously? You're the only one?"

When he nods his head, you feel a twinge of hurt in your heart. Poor guy. You can only imagine how disappointing it must be to go through all those lengths to start a club (you would know since you're technically a staff member of the school and have been given a rundown on some of the school's functions and regulations) only for no one to show interest. Of course, you completely understand that gargoyles aren't exactly all the rage within the minds of teenage boys. Still! He goes through so much effort to build relationships with his peers but they always cower away, either due to his status or even because of the way he looks. You won’t deny that he does come off as rather intimidating at first glance, but he's a sweet guy once you give him the chance to speak.

But to expect teenagers going through social pressures and demanding academics to be as understanding and willing to understand someone like Malleus is an impossible demand. Given that everyone in the school can be a bunch of self-centered and easily agitated bunch of pricks, it's understandable that most of the student body isn't keen on trying to take into consideration the proper etiquette one needs to consider in the presence of a young and noble fae. Deuce has met and talked briefly with Malleus on one occasion, but even he visibly shakes whenever his name is mentioned, even in casual passing.

Wait until they found out who you've gone and gotten buddy-buddy with behind their back. They probably think they're slick or that their intentions are well swept under the rug, but it's clear they feel some semblance of responsibility for your well-being, as both a magicless individual as well as a close, albeit older, friend. You dread the day people begin to make the connections between Malleus and you, but you still can’t help but wonder what their reactions might be. You also dread the high probability those two idiots are going to find out and embarrass the living hell out of you, which you know you do not have the patience or tolerance for.

Gunter jumps up and sits himself down in one of the wooden dining chairs, pushing the small ceramic plate towards you with his nose, as if telling you "Alright, I’ve done what I said I'd do, now feed me what I'm owed." You tell him that you'll give him what he's well earned after you get a small fire started in the brick fireplace. Just because it's warmer near the southern half of the island and not as heavily blanketed with snow, doesn't mean the cold has completely vanished, Winter is still winter after all.

"Where did these scars come from?"

Malleus' unexpected question and closeness nearly make you drop the iron rod you've been using to stoke the growing fire. You've since taken off your boots and rolled up the bottoms of your pants just above your knee as the room starts to warm up enough for a thin layer of perspiration to accumulate and roll down your skin. The scars he's referring to are the ones on your right leg, both side by side at an awkward angle and discolored. You have a lot more scars than these, some much more gruesome in appearance than these two. Malleus has never asked about your scars, but sometimes you catch him looking in the general area of some that peak through your clothes. He likely keeps quiet about their existence out of courtesy.

Yet out of all the markings on your body, why did these two stand out enough that he'd finally ask about them?

"It's a long story," you say in an effort to stall the topic. "Sit. I'll feed you two once the fire is stable."

He doesn’t push you for an answer, instead simply doing as you say and lets you poke at the burning logs until they're properly aflame on their own. You made mostly some of your morning favorites; Creamy and thick potato stew with diced carrots and peas and some eggs, ham, and crispy hash browns sandwich between homemade halved croissants. You teased him about having picky taste buds earlier, but Malleus is content to eat anything you serve him so long as it is not comparable to the likes of Lilia's atrocious cooking.

(Seriously, how does a man as old as Lilia not know the basic fundamentals of cooking? And why does everything he makes end up burnt and tasting like something rotten? You will never understand.)

"Don't eat too quickly," you warn Gunter as you pour a bit of light-colored soup onto his designated plate. Your words are ignored, as the equally marred wolf sloppily slurps and munches on the few bits of potatoes and vegetables you generously scraped out of the thermos. His food is gone as quickly as it’s put in front of him and he looks at you expecting more.

"No. The rest is mine," you scold. "And don't beg Malleus for some either! I know you do it behind my back, you little shit!"

He turns to look at Malleus with an accusatory glare, thinking that he ratted him out to you. Malleus’s response towards the silent imputation is to turn and look out the window as if something caught his interest all of a sudden, cup raised to his lips as he politely sips away at his meal without an air of calmness. You have to slap a hand over your mouth to hide the amusement that overtakes your senses.

"Malleus, stop that!"

"Stop what?" he innocently asks.

"Stop making me want to laugh!"

He sets his cup down onto its matching serving dish. "It's not my fault you have an easily satiable sense of humor."

"Wow!" you say incredulously and put your arms up in offense. "And here I was thinking we were friends!"

His distant demeanor breaks and you both devolve into a fit of laughter together. Gunter unfortunately takes advantage of your joint distraction and slips away with a warm sandwich between his jaw, your sandwich in particular.

"That damn wolf!" you curse. "I knew I should have trusted my gut and pack extras.”

Malleus pities your distress before moving over to sit closer. "Worry not. I'll split mine in half with you,” he reassures.

"No, it's fine," you immediately dismiss his offer. "Have it for yourself."

"I'm not taking no for an answer," he firmly states. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s far too early for that.”

"I thought you liked it when I was stubborn?” you pout.

He shakes his head with a smile. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t”

"At least someone likes my attitude,” you say after chewing and swallowing a mouthful of soup. “Sebek certainly doesn’t."

"The boy is stubborn as well. When two equally stubborn individuals cross paths, you will witness nothing but discord between the two."

"Add the fact I'm human into the mix, and we'll be exchanging fists instead of words sooner or later," you scoff. "I get that some faes don't like humans, but what's his deal with acting like he’s got a vendetta against me?"

"Sebek doesn't hate humans for the reasons you might think," Malleus admits. "It’s more like he finds them difficult to think that highly of. Did you know that he is half-human?"

You nearly choke on your own breath over the sudden revelation. "Really?"

"Indeed," Malleus finds amusement at your disbelief. "Have you ever wondered why his ears aren't pointed like Silver, but his eyes are like mine and Lilia’s?"

"Damn,” you scratch the back of your head with embarrassment. “Now I feel stupid.”

"You aren't. Given the way he speaks, not many would assume he had human blood in his veins. His mother was highly regarded within her social circle, but her marriage to a human man tarnished her reputation a great deal. She's happy and does not seem to care what others think of her these days. However, when Sebek set out to be a knight, his mother's marriage and his lineage were often brought up as a way to scrutinize his character and capabilities rather than any of his actual shortcomings as an individual."

"Poor kid," you sigh. "Lilia told me those sorts of things still happen in The Valley, but it sounds so outlandish that I couldn’t take it that seriously."

"Many faes hold old traditions above all else, to a degree that the purity of one's blood stands above all other merits." His eyebrows pressed together in annoyance. "Even my grandmother thinks it's archaic, but as the reigning queen she has to embody a persona of neutrality between the social divide."

"It sounds like you have your work cut out for you in the future," you say, almost apologetically. "What do you plan to do about it once you're the king?"

There's a brief flash of surprise over your question, but Malleus easily answers it as usual. "I think my first course of action as king would be to properly knight Sebek and Silver."

"Bet my rifle that Sebek is going to cry the entire ceremony!" you remark with certainty. "That's all he ever goes on about, being a knight and all."

"He's devoted countless hours and efforts since he was a child. If there's anyone who deserves to join the knighthood, it's him."

"Definitely," you nod to further cement your agreement with him. "He could stand to lower his voice a bit. He'll give you tinnitus before long.”

"At least we won't have to worry about losing him in a crowd," Malleus jests.

"That's to say we'll lose sight of him to begin with," you remark. "He'll gladly lose me in a crowd. You? You'd be lucky to get out of arm's length."

"You underestimate me, dearest," Malleus smirks. "Ever since I've met you, I've perfected the art of avoiding Sebek's insistent searches."

"Have you now?" you razz back. "Don't let him catch onto the fact. He'll have my head."

He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Each second his skin touches yours makes you tingle. Time slows down ever so briefly if only to savor the small instance of physical connection for as long as possible. "What of your aunts?" he inquires. "Are they as overprotective of you as Sebek is of myself?"

"They’re a trio of mama bears," you proudly admit. "I'm old enough to drink and well equipped to fend for myself, but in their minds, I'll always be the little tyke that couldn't even eat their meals without looking at them for approval. Especially my aunt Gia."

You have three aunts. There's your aunt Marisol, the mother of most of your cousins and the main caretaker of the household. Your second aunt Lucia was well into her studies at university when you came to live with them, but her stress and long hours of mulling over her course materials paid off in the long run. Your gardening skills wouldn't be what they are now without her expertise in agricultural botany.

Then there's your aunt Gia. Oldest of the three. An absolute tank of a woman. No spouse. No kids of her own. She lived off the land like an absolute titan. The woman raised you as if she was the one that carried you for nine months and not your actual birth mother.

How would you describe your parents? If your parents were told to list out their priorities in life, their careers would be at the top of the list and you would be put at the very bottom. Why they carried you to term is beyond your understanding. You later learned that Gia had even offered to take you under her care well before your birth, knowing that your parents might not be well-suited to take care of you in the way she thinks would be beneficial for you. It was a convenient offer that would have saved everyone the trouble years down the line when you had your accident. They worked in a cutthroat industry and were constantly moving up the executive echelons. They had no time for you, yet their pride as a pair of young, successful business magnates made them incapable of seeing past the reality of the situation. That left you mostly in the care of last-minute caretakers and your aunts, but only if they had time from their own busy and preoccupied lives to come out into the city and visit.

You were eight years old when things started to get better, but it was upstarted in the worst possible way. Your parents had to go away for the upcoming weekend for work and left you in the care of a babysitter as per the norm. The babysitter never showed up however and your parents apparently couldn’t be bothered to check up on you even once the entire trip. Their silence wasn’t surprising. You just went on about your business for the next three days on your own like nothing was wrong. Your aunt Gia had even called at one point to check up on you, but you didn’t bother to tell her that your parents had left you to fend for yourself. She would have exploded if you did, but not as much as she did when you woke up in the hospital after falling down the stairs and lying helplessly on the ground for several hours with a dislocated shoulder and a compound-fractured leg. You were lulling in and out of consciousness due to all the medication pumped into you, but what little you do remember seeing and hearing when you regained consciousness will forever stick with you for the rest of your life.

If people think your level of swearing is bad, they should have heard your aunt that day. She swore so viciously that it could set an innocent bystander's eardrums on fire. What will forever stand out the most to you was the fact that your parents didn’t even look the least bit apologetic or regretful. They didn’t even approach you once your aunt was done giving them a piece of her mind to check up on you. They simply talked with the awaiting social worker and doctors and then left. It was for the better, but the small part of you that continued to hold onto the desperate belief that your parents would come around one day sent you into a thrashing frenzy and you had to be sedated before you could hurt yourself anymore.

The next year was spent recovering from your injuries, meeting regularly with your caseworker, and going through therapists like a pack of cigarettes. By the time you were back on your feet and the legal proceedings of your custody case were concluded, all you wanted was to move on with it all. Nearly a decade of neglect left you this unattentive, uncertain husk of a person who couldn’t take a single step forward without looking for some sort of guidance or assurance. Your family was exhausted by the entire ordeal and over speaking with third parties. Your aunts took it upon themselves to help you regain your sense of self in the comfort of your new home, no matter how difficult or demanding it was going to be.

“It took some time, but eventually it clicked in my mind that I was in a better place and I started to get better. As for my parents, I have no clue what they’re up to these days.” You lean back into your chair and let out a shaking yawn. “I like to think they’re getting on well like I am.”

“I don’t understand.” Malleus looks at you with unbelievable confusion. “Your parents treated you poorly, yet you don’t sound the least bit resentful. Why is that?”

You shrug your shoulders. “What’s the point? I'm in a better place now, so I've let bygones be bygones. 'Doesn't mean I don't harbor any anger against them anymore. I do, but getting upset won't change what's happened to me."

Gunter, having sensed your discomfort over the matter, trots over and rests his head on your lap. You gratefully rub the top of his head, carding your hands through his thick, coarse hair. "I'm just glad they let me go without a fuss. Family court was hell for my family.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Expensive too.”

Crackling wood fills the momentary silence that befalls the small cottage. What you've recollected to Malleus is a lot to take in, and if you're being quite honest you'd prefer if he just dropped the subject and talked about literally anything else right now. You hope he doesn't say he's sorry or any other type of apologetic comment. That's all you were ever told that entire year it all happened, during court proceedings, your rehabilitation, by both strangers and distant family members alike.

"I'm so sorry. What happened to you was unfortunate. You didn't deserve it."

No shit you didn't deserve any of that. You were a kid. You don’t need one pity party after another to realize that what took place then had fucked you forever. But as you said earlier, you're in a better place now, with a loving and supportive family that's moved on alongside you. A family you need to get back to as soon as possible.

"I love you."

Well, if he was hoping to take your mind off the past. that certainly did it. How can it not? It came out of nowhere and as good as you are at holding your composure when need be, you're sure you look no less like a gaping fish when warm and plush softness presses right against the corner of your lips. A kiss. His kiss.

"What's wrong?" Your voice sounds shaky. You’re nervous.

"Nothing," he smiles reassuringly. "I simply said what I felt needed to be said."

"Fair enough" you concede easily. He was going to say it sooner or later. He already has actually, now that you think about it. Yet here you are trying to process his words like it’s rocket science.

"Am I going about this too fast perhaps?" he genuinely asks. His hands that have been busy massaging your calves that have settled across his lap somewhere during your long retelling gradually slow down, but his hands never go completely still. "This is my first time experiencing something like this."

"What?" You sit up a bit straighter. "A relationship?"

"Yes."

Your head tilts to the side. "Really?"

He nods hesitantly "Yes?"

For a moment, you go completely quiet. "I don't believe you,” you doubtfully say, head shaking to further showcase your refusal to believe him.

He must not have liked your remark, frowning with clear offense in his eyes. When he dislikes something, the vertical slits in his eyes contract into a thin line. "I cannot lie, yet you still doubt me?"

"I know you can't lie, but I find it hard to believe you haven't been with anyone else before," you explain. Before you can consider the appropriateness that was your newfound curiosity about Malleus's apparently non-existent love life, you blurt out, "Are you still a virgin?"

You slap your hand over your mouth the moment those words come out of it. He's equally caught off guard and nearly drops his warm cup of coffee. Even Gunter is surprised by your question, olive-colored eyes looking at you as if you've lost your mind. It's an invasive question, inappropriate even. You and Malleus have been dating for a little over two days. A question like that is way too early to bring up just yet.

"You don't have to answer that," you tell him behind your palm. "I shouldn't have even asked it. Forget I ever brought it up-”

"I'm not," he interrupts you, leaving you even more shocked than you already are. You’re practically gaping like a fish by now. "I'm not a virgin,” he further insinuates.

A deafening silence, but it’s eventually broken by yourself. “I still don’t believe you.”

Malleus gets further annoyed at your refusal to accept his truth. "I'm not lying!" he insists.

"Bullshit!"

"Do you want me to recount my history to you?" he asks, exasperated as you are at the shift the conversation is taking. "Will that satisfy your doubts?"

"You know what? It will!" you loudly declare. "Who'd you sleep with?"

"He was a young page at the time,” he reminisced. “It happened before I was a century old.”

Your eyebrows raise with intrigue. "Was he cute?"

"Yes," he hushedly agrees. The disconcerting admittance paints his face a pinkish-red glow. "But that's not why I bedded him."

"But surely his looks are what made you interested in the first place?” you make blatant regard of the fact.

“You’re not wrong,” he acknowledges, expertly avoiding agreeing with you outright. “But his looks aren't the sole reason I was drawn to him. He was bright-eyed and ambitious, to the point you’d think him insane given his position in the court. It was also the first time I ever truly met with a group of humans, and my young mind was eager to get a more accurate perspective of humans that wasn’t through the lens of my tutors.”

“An ‘accurate perspective’?” You make playful air quotes, eyebrows wiggling because you know the fact that he knows what you’re implying. The playful comment is met with a sharp pinch on your leg that makes you jump and shriek out in pain. Did he have to dig his nails into you? Apparently so, and now you have small crescent indents on your skin. “I bet Lilia had a good laugh when he found out.”

“He doesn’t know, actually,” he admits to you with what is obviously a proud smile.

“Now I know you’re lying to me,” you scoff. “Nothing escapes the old man’s radar.”

His hands begin to rub out the marks he’s left on you as a form of apology. “Lilia is sharp, but he had lost most of his vigor by the time I was born.”

You go wide-eyed again. “You mean his hearing and eyesight was better than it is now?”

He nods affirmatively. “From what I’ve been told, terrifyingly so.”

Lilia is already frightening as is. His short stature and boyish looks make him perfectly unassuming to those who don’t know any better. You once watched him beat up a couple of bulky, twice-his-height students from Savanaclaw without breaking a sweat, yet moments before he was jokingly scolding himself for dozing off so easily. You never once thought he was ever out of his elements. A cold chill runs down your spine thinking how much more perceptive the older fae may have been back during his prime years.

“Wonder what Lilia’s gonna think,” you ponder out loud in a quick effort to banish out the skin-prickling mental imagery your mind was invoking. “About us, I mean.”

Malleus seems surprised that you would change the topic to that of all things, but his initial shock goes away as quickly as it came. “As you may have guessed, he’s an open-minded individual, but he’s also very realistic and unafraid to say what’s on his mind.”

“So what does that mean for you and me?” you question with a bit of hesitation.

“Well,” he trails off and ponders for a moment. “He’ll surely like the scandal our relationship would invoke. However, as my caretaker and mentor, he won’t hesitate to put an end to it if he feels it necessary.”

Had it been anyone else sitting beside you, you’d have found that comment way too extreme and outright ridiculous. However, you are not speaking to anyone ordinary. You are not sitting before someone normal. It doesn't matter how well you get along with him. It sure as hell doesn't matter how deeply in love you are with him, and him of you. The moment you have been deemed a shortcoming, the outings, the closeness, it all stops. All of it will come crashing down and both you and him will be left wondering what could have been done differently.

Malleus is truly your best friend, because already he can tell that your mind is beginning to spiral even when you go quiet. He calls for your attention by gripping his hand around your bare ankle and carefully tugging the end of your limb. “Don’t fret over it too much,” he soothes, yet also sounding like he’s scolding you for letting your mind wander off so negatively. “Lilia is an exceptional judge of character. From what I’ve gathered, you’ve well exceeded all his marks. He trusts you, and to gain such a thing from someone as old and wise as him is an extraordinary feat.”

You brew over the attempted compliment he tried to pay to you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t snub out all these festering thoughts in your head. It doesn’t even give you temporary relief. Perhaps it would have brought you a sense of peace a few months ago, but with everything that has happened thus far, you doubt even Malleus can alleviate the storm that rattles inside you, even if what he speaks is without a doubt nothing but the truth.

Surely he can see that you are still having some hangups. When you lift his hand and plant a chaste kiss on the back of his hand, you hope he can decipher the gesture as a pitiful request for his forgiveness for dampening the once energetic mood. He is not at fault for your loss and inability to think optimistically at the moment and you need to make sure he knows it.

Today is about him, not you. Even if it’s just for today, you’ll put on a pleasant facade and worry about the rest at a later date. It’s just you and him, and for now, that’s enough.

You do a mental countdown starting from three, before finally giving him a late response to the three words he uttered in confidence to you earlier. “I love you too, by the way.”

You love him. You love him. You love him. That’s all his mind can think of for the rest of the day. He replays your reciprocation over and over like it’s sacred and all-powerful.

He had planned to return to his dorm before the sun began to set, but he found the mere idea of detaching from you deeply unwanted and made the last-minute decision to spend the evening at the Ramshackle dorm. He already has a few articles of clothing and personal essentials set up in one of the many empty rooms, so neither Lilia nor you had any objections at his sudden request.

“Don’t worry!” You shout across the room so that Lilia can hear you over his phone. “I’ll make sure he gets to bed on time!”

“You have my gratitude!” Lilia’s muffled voice responds gratefully. “Don’t cause too much trouble now, you two.”

“No promises~” you sing in jest before Malleus hangs up. Once the call ends Johnny, Benji, Franky, and you turn their attention back to their ongoing game of poker. Malleus watches and occasionally laughs to himself over the friendly banter shared between the quartet. At the end of every round, the winner is assaulted with colorful profanities whilst they take their newly won gambling chips with ebullience. Yet with each new dealing of cards, the animosity goes away and they’re all back to being friendly. He finds your interactions with your incorporeal roommates more entertaining than the book he’s been reading to pass the time.

“Hey, fairy boy,” Franky informally calls out toward him. “Don’t be a stranger now. Play a few rounds with us.”

“I’m afraid I’m not well versed in card games,” he admits, yet he still finds himself setting his literature aside and moving over to join them.

“Don’t worry,” you give him a reassuring smile. “They’ll go easy on you.”

“For how long?” he knowingly asks.

You give him an impressed smirk at his quick uptake. “I give it three rounds before they start to pull back their sleeves.”

Malleus is well-adjusted to the need to quickly learn a new topic and the expectation for him to fully comprehend it in full. None of them are harsh on him for his minor mistakes like some of the tutors he’s had in the past. Answers that he believes may be obvious or not as complicated as he thinks they are being answered with enthusiastic patience. The smallest achievements he makes are met with a proud response. When he makes a surprise turnabout and wins his first game, he’s rewarded with an encouraging round of applause by everyone.

“Not bad,” Benji praises as he shuffles the deck of cards. “You’re a fast learner.”

“So I’ve been told,” he humbly replies. “Is this the part where you all stop going easy on me now?”

“Don’t provoke them,” you half-heartedly warn. “Otherwise we’ll be up all night duking it out otherwise.”

Franky sets his glass of iced liquor down on the edge of the table. “Don’t you little lovebirds worry. We won’t take up too much of your well-needed time together.”

Annoyed at the clear jab at his relationship with you, you throw one of your chips towards his head. It passes through his body and clatters on the floor behind him. Your fawn Blossom jumps down from their spot on the couch and goes to sniff it, thinking it to be food, but walks away with a disappointed strut when he realizes it isn’t anything edible.

“I didn’t tell them a damn thing,” you defensively clarify. “It was so obvious what was going on between us that they figured it all out before we made it official.”

He lets out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s...I can’t say I’m too pleased to hear about that.”

“We won’t say anything,” Franky reassures. “Just make sure to put a sock on the door whenever you guys want some alone time.”

“Franky!” you hiss at him. “What the hell?!”

“What?” he looks at you, unbothered by your clear embarrassment. “Do you honestly expect us to think you guys went out just to look at a bunch of statues?”

“Oh, I’m sure they were looking at something,” Johnny smirks. “It wasn’t made of stone though.”

“I hate you guys,” you growl out, arms crossing and leaning back into your seat with an angry huff. You don’t mean it. He can see the tremble of your lips as you try to contain the urge to grin. “Even if we did end up rolling around in the sheets, I wouldn’t be yapping about it for all to hear, much less you guys!”

“What happens in the gargoyle graveyard stays in the gargoyle graveyard, eh?” Franky winks at both Malleus and you, nudging you with his elbow.

“Exactly!” you affirm, batting the large ghost away from you for some much-needed distance. “Now stop being so damn nosy.”

They cackle one last time and everyone seamlessly goes back to their ongoing game. Conversations like the one that just concluded are commonplace in your dormitory. Even if he contributed next to nothing to the discussion, he enjoys watching them interact. You come from a world where ghosts are hardly as overt as the ones in this world. Ghosts are said to entertain themselves by picking on the living, to the point that it can be fatal. Your ability to come up with witticisms at a moment's notice is something he enjoys seeing in action. He feels great satisfaction not only knowing that he has secured your love but to also see you in a state of tranquility and within your elements.

As Benji and you have a hushed conversation on the sidelines, he reaches over and places his hand on your knee beneath the table. You quietly reach over and put your hand over his, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb like it’s instinctual. Unfortunately, the heart-fluttering moment is ruined by the sudden buzzing of his phone. He has half a mind to ignore it, but when he gives the screen a glance he realizes ignoring the caller is not an option.

“I’ll be out for a moment,” he excuses himself once he sets his hand down and stands himself upright. “This shouldn’t take that long, hopefully.”

They all stop to look up at him inquisitively for half a second. In unison, they ask, “Sebek?”

“Sebek,” he affirms.

There are simultaneous displays of annoyance, pity, and silent wishes of good luck directed at him. He’s tempted to ask where all this contempt for the boy comes from, but then he remembers the many times Sebek barges his way into their dorm at the worst possible moments. It is either when everyone is beginning to settle down after a long day or in the middle of an important house project, the former more so than the latter now that the dorm is much more stable and in need of less restoration. Malleus learned the hard way how ill you and the ghosts will react when your peace is unwantedly interrupted and your space invaded by an unwanted guest.

Sebek is also quick to scrutinize whatever he sees out loud without a filter. You never seem to mind half of the time, merely rolling your eyes and moving past Sebek’s ill-meaning remarks as if you never heard them. As you are someone Malleus highly regards and holds close to his bosom, he hopes Sebek can one day set aside his strife with humankind and give you the due diligence you deserve.

...Though, he completely understands that reaching that point will take time. While you can endure Sebek to a certain degree, there are times where he, unfortunately, pushes you past that threshold and, without flinching, you will tell him to “Shut the fuck up”. Your words, not his.

“Young master!” Sebek's transmitted voice peaks and he has to half pull it away to give his pained eardrums some relief. “I was informed by Lord Lilia that you will be spending the night over at the Human’s dorm. Have you all your accommodations at their estate? If not, I will swiftly-”

“That won’t be necessary,” he half laughs at his enthusiasm over such a small task. “I have enough to keep me comfortable and well for a few days. Your offer is still very much appreciated.”

“Y-Yes, of course,” he stutters. “If there’s anything you should ever find a need for, please inform me at once! I will fulfill your every wishes no matter the hour!”

He’s enthusiastic and ready to act at a moment’s notice, even during the middle of a cold and dark hour. Malleus doesn’t necessarily dislike this part of Sebek, but he’s starting to understand why someone like you would find such subservience difficult to deal with. At any moment, Malleus could ask Sebek to grab some insignificant item of his and tread through the thick snow to deliver it to him, and the boy would do so with jubilation and utmost timeliness. You on the other hand wouldn’t be caught dead ordering someone to do something on your behalf when you believe you are well and capable of doing it yourself.

You don’t put expectations onto the backs of others, choosing to trust yourself first before anyone else. He knows now that it’s a result of the one instance where you expected something from someone, only to be thoroughly let down and left wondering if it was you who did something wrong.

Malleus cannot make up for the pain you’ve been subjected to, but he hopes that he can become the outlier in your life that surpasses any preconceived notions you may hold onto others. He hopes...No, he absolutely will be the one who brings you your well-earned and deserved joy and repose, just as you have done for him and continue to do so.

You love him, and he will ensure he is worthy of every last drop of your fidelity.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #twst writing #twst fanfic #fanfic: courtship #reader insert #reader insert fanfic #reader insert fanfiction #gender neutral reader #gender neutral pronouns #x reader

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desencante · 3 years

Text

oi, march reads! I read a lot this month.

Please, don’t forget to leave a comment or kudos for the authors of these fics!

(The texts aren't the summary, just my ramble thoughts.)

Loving Cannibalism by glittering_git/@glittering-git (Mature, 2 works, 952 words) | Post-War, Angst, Established Relationship

Two marvellous and poetic histories about (loving) cannibalism. This is such a dark and heavy theme but the author does a great job writing and makes me enjoy reading them. (And I'm definitely here for more.)

(Please, read the Author's Tags.)

don’t say you love me, that’s extortion by LowerEastSide/@lower-east-side (Explicit, 1k) | Post-War, Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship

It is a domestic and loving and little sad history – about not saying 'I love you' but acting in that way.

The Pink Paradox by vina_writes/@dracothecupcake (Teen and Up, 1k) | Post-War, Humor, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco

Harry Potter Is Obsessed With Draco Malfoy TM. And Draco has pink hair. Have a fun time!

Harry's Promise by JosephineStone (Teen and Up, 2k) | Post-War, Angst, Reunion, Established Relationship

This one it's kind of part two of Circumpolar. The history continues the consequences of Draco's change, after the war – left me with a warm heart.

Burnt Casserole by Samunderthelights/@samunderthelights (General Audiences, 2k) | Post-War, Fluff, Established Relationship

Nervous Draco for Meeting Ron and Hermione. Getting back together and meeting your boyfriend's friends (who may hate you) showing them your (not) great cooking abilities.

Magical Homes, and Where to Find Them (in the arms of your lover) by Erebeus/@erebeus-roxy (General Audiences, 2k) | Post-War, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship

Who doesn't want some fluff established relationship sometimes? Harry has a painful case at work and then comes home to a calm and domestic night with his husband.

Together Like This by shealwaysreads/@shealwaysreads (Explicit, 3k) | Post-War, Getting Back Together

Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World TM. I find it so interesting reading stories where Draco denies Harry's love because of the war, and Harry is there to change his mind. Here we have that and it's written the super talented shealwaysreads.

For Old Times' Sake by thestarryknight/@the-starryknight (Teen and Up, 3k) | Post-War, Drugs, Potioneer Draco, Artist Harry

This one gives me such a cosy and domestic vibe. "'It's Complicated' is their relationship status" resume perfect what this fic is. (There're some cool references too, so pay attention.)

Like Gold by The_Sinking_Ship/@the-sinking-ship (Explicit, 4k) | Post-War, PWP

(It's always good to see.) Harry Has a Motorbike Just Like Sirius! Harry rides a motorbike and Draco rides him.

Harry and Draco's Little Talk by Ladderofyears (Teen and Up, 5k) | Post-War, Angst, Established Relationship, mpreg

Who doesn't hear 'I need to talk to you' by someone you like and run with? Harry thinks Draco will break up with him and freak (a little) out but maybe the subject of Draco's conversation is quite the opposite.

Sugar Sweet by The_Sinking_Ship/@the-sinking-ship (Teen and Up, 5k) | Post-War, Humor, Fluff, Auror Harry, Healer Draco

It is a very sweet story with a surprise party for Draco and Harry getting late but not so late.

Show them the night that they dreamed about before by fluxweed/@fluxweeed (Explicit, 6k) | Post-War, PWP, Threesome, Boss/Employee Relationship, Dubious Consent

(Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Percy Weasley)

All I have to say is: 😳😯🤫😈🔥🥵🔥🥵😈😏!

This Is How by bixgirl1/@bixgirl1 (Explicit, 6k) | Post-War, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, a/b/o

Omega Draco has an incident in the ministry Alpha Harry is there to help. After they fall in love! (One more reason to read: it's written by bixgirl1!)

It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman by lamerezouille/@elsalapizza (Teen and Up, 6k) | Post-War, Angst, Humor, Established Relationship

OMG, I never read something like this! The plot was so surprising – you will ever think about the Malfoys meeting the Dursleys? BOOM! Here it's a very awkward dinner that looks funny but has some depth stuff going on.

Litany by thistle_verse/@thistle-verse (Mature, 7k) | Post-War, Angst, Pandemic, Isolation, Touch-Starved, Ghost Draco

Ghost's story isn't my cup of tea, but I give this one a chance and don't regret it. The magic world is passing through a pandemic (just like us!), Harry is doing quarantine at home alone until ghost Draco, directly from Azkaban, shows up. Then, we have fluffy and sad conversations between the two and a turn of events in the end. (And lots of lists.)

As the Crow Flies by thestarryknight/@the-starryknight (Mature, 7k) | Post-War, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Animagus Draco, Werewolf Harry

Draco helps Harry on a full moon night. Domestic vibes with some angst. 10/10!

Circumpolar by LowerEastSide/@lower-east-side (Teen and Up, 8k) | Hogwarts Era, Angst, Sectumsempra Scars

I see an amazing fanart and spend some days obsessed with Draco having worse scars from Sectumsempra. (There's, in this list, another two fanfics with this concept.) In this one, because of the pretty bad scars Draco's plan about the war change – is interesting to imagine how one incident could put another thing in perspective for him. And Draco and Harry have a touching conversation on the Astronomy Tower! (I'm a sucker for long expressive conversations about feelings.)

if somebody’s there, then tell me who. by kryptidfox/@kryptidfoxwrites (Explicit, 11k) | Post-War, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Housemates

Much more like Idiots to Lovers! Draco has a disastrous way to make Harry notice him – bring every man possible to a one-night stand then call their name very loud – until things go wrong when he brings a guy named Harry. I constantly have a good time reading these two making dumb thing in their path to be together.

Commander by Cassiopeias_shadow/@cassiopeiasshadow (Explicit, 14k) | Post-War, Horror, Suspense, Drugs, Animagi, Auror Harry, Light dom/sub

Almost a case fic with dark things in the plot. Draco is addicted to potions and in a pretty bad place when he has a chance to help the auros in a big case. It turns out that Draco got so much involved with the case he needed Harry, to make him put his feet on the ground – the fine line between doing everything to make up for your past or lost yourself doing things for the great good. Featuring: Harry as a snake and parselmouth kink.

(Please, read the Author's tags.)

Fire and Wonder by Lomonaaeren (Mature, 15k) | Post-War, Dark-ish, Veela

Lomonaaeren written dark Harry, I'm here for! After the war, Harry get wing and has some controversial ideas about The Great Good. So, we see him put these ideas into practice with his mate Draco.

Hold what's dear in your hands (and never let go) by Fae_vorite/@faevorite-main-blog, PollyWeasley/@polly-weasley (Explicit, 16k) | Post-War, Arrange Marriage, a/b/o, mpreg

I was always here for some a/b/o and this story is a chef kiss! Harry can't find a partner; So he goes to an upgrade tinder and matches with Draco, then they live happily ever after. Featuring intersex Draco and a lot of sex kinks.

Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by aviforsrose (Explicit, 23k) | Post-War, Angst, Friends with Benefits, Light dom/sub

Idiots in love! The old same GOOD story: I love him but he loves me? Yes, of course! Man, you two have been pinning each other for years now. Let's do some love confessions.

The Critiquer by dysonrules (Explicit, 24k) | Post-War, Humor, Romance, Secret Identity

Drunk Harry doing dumb stuff with Seamus and Dean, take him a very funny drive to Draco's hearty. Draco and his assistant interactions was another very humorous part. Can't forget to congratulate who made all of the edits, principally the text divisors.

The Nobility of Ascent by Lomonaaeren (Explicit, 27k) | Post-War, Angst, Politics

I love reading Lomonaaeren stories with dark-ish Harry. This is another great example of just not the good or evil side. Harry can't Make a Better World because of pureblood politics so he goes to Draco for help.

Can I tell you something? by GallaPlacidia (Not Rated, 33k) | Post-War, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sectumsempra Scars, Drugs, Auror Harry, Burlesquedance Draco

What I can say about this one? It's by GallaPlacidia, go read! The story takes place during a few years, after the war, Harry collides in parties with a drugged Draco, things happen – they lived a very real journey of connecting with someone, learning to love and to be loved and understanding the mistakes of the past... 10/10!

Says The Magpie To The Morning (Sorrow, Take Your Own Advice) by Femme/@femmequixotic (Explicit, 33k) | Post-War, Angst, Getting Back Together

Draco Horrible Sad TM after a breakup with Harry. Featuring so much PDA by Pansy/Ron, angst, miscommunication, angst, sharing a house with your ex and angst. If you are up to a sad time before a happy ending this nice story is here.

Eight Days (to Save the World) by gnarf/@gnarf (Mature, 47k) | Post-War, Friend to Lovers, Housemates, Case Fic, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco

Shit happens in The Wizard World again so Harry, Draco and company get together to Save The World Again. What will you do if you receive an order not so right by your superior? A very interesting story begins with the ministry's haunted easy target to blame for the new conspiracy. Enjoy too Protective Harry.

Turning Leaves by Kbrick (Explicit, 112k) | Post-War, Angst, Fluff, Time Travel, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco

Draco Tries to Concert His Friendship With Harry by Time Travel. This gives me The Cursed Child vibe but so much better, Draco goes to several scenarios trying to change one important moment in the past to make Harry like-like now. A great story who think about what will happen if Draco acts differently in the Hogwarts years.

Cannot Save You Now by tigrelilje (Mature, 132k) | Hogwart Era, Angst, Horror, Dark, Vampire Harry

Harry dies and comes back (as a vampire) for revenge! If you want to see Harry hating almost everybody this fanfic this here. Featuring: Slytherin Harry.

#desencanterec #drarry fic rec #drarry #drarry fanfic #if there's a mistake or some link is broken please let me know #hpdm

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thewitcherstan · 4 years

Text

The thing is, Geralt had never been much of a tactile person. Neediness had no room in his line of work, and the thought of being dependent on anyone, even in the smallest of ways, made Geralt sneer.

But then Jaskier came along.

Jaskier was never able to keep his hands to himself, a fact he was rather notorious for. And even Geralt’s “don’t fuck with me” demeanor wasn’t enough to deter him.

The first time Jaskier took notice of Geralt’s affinity for touch was one of the colder winter nights, when they couldn’t find an inn to stay at. Geralt had started a fire and they’d huddled close, trying to steal as much warmth as it had to offer. Jaskier, as charmingly greedy as ever, couldn’t stop himself from pressing his side against Geralt’s, relishing the extra warmth that came with it.

He expected to be pushed away, punched in the gut for his efforts. Instead, Geralt merely looked at him with an arched brow, and Jaskier shrugged as if to say, “What? I’m cold.” Geralt simply hummed in response, a low sound in the back of his throat, before poking the fire with a stick.

He didn’t once make any move to escape his proximity to Jaskier.

After that, Jaskier started testing his boundaries.

Most nights when they were in town, Jaskier would find himself singing in the nearest tavern, trying to rack up coin while Geralt sat brooding in the corner with a stein of ale, unable to keep himself from listening to the bard’s admittedly captivating voice.

He never joined in on the clapping when it was over, but Jaskier never minded. Instead, he marches up to Geralt, as confident as he was that first day, and slings an arm around the witcher’s shoulders.

“Geralt! No applause to spare for your favorite bard?” Jaskier asks jovially.

“You’re my only bard,” Geralt says exasperatedly, trying to ignore the fact that he just referred to Jaskier as his. “Thankfully. And your retelling of the kikimora slaying was ridiculously embellished.”

“Ah, but boring stories don’t sell,” Jaskier tells him happily, reaching for Geralt’s ale and taking a swig, dodging Geralt’s hand as he swats at him. Jaskier hastily sets it back in front of him, ignoring Geralt’s glower as he continues. “And you killed that last kikimora way too quickly. There wasn’t much to tell.”

“Sounds like you managed just fine,” Geralt says wryly, and Jaskier jingles the coins in his pocket.

“That I did,” Jaskier agrees. For a moment, they’re silent, and Jaskier registers with surprise that Geralt hasn’t pulled away from him yet.

Before Geralt’s quota on touch for the day can be spent, Jaskier makes a show of wrinkling his nose and pulling away, saying, “You, my pretty-faced friend, could use a bath.”

Geralt cocks his head at him. “‘Pretty-faced friend’?”

Completely shameless, Jaskier simply rolls his eyes. “There’s no point in modesty, Geralt,” Jaskier chides. “Surely you’ve caught a glimpse of that gorgeous mug of yours in the mirror, yeah? Rather easy on the eyes, I must confess.” He pats Geralt’s cheek twice before standing up. “Come on, then, I’m sure you’re going to have us up at the crack of dawn, and I’d like to get some sleep tonight.”

Jaskier makes his way towards their room, leaving a baffled Geralt in his wake.

The next occasion happens a couple towns later, when Geralt bursts into their room completely covered in guts. Jaskier looks up from where he’s sitting on his bed, idly strumming a few chords on his lute, and grimaces at the sight.

“I take it you killed it, then?” Jaskier asks, and Geralt just grunts. “Right, bath. Shall I run it for you?”

Jaskier doesn’t even wait for Geralt’s response—not that he’s really expecting one; they’ve been through this routine far too many times before, and he knows exactly what to do. He simply sets his lute aside and goes to fill the bath with hot water as Geralt strips the mucky clothes from his body. They fall to the floor with a wet smack, and Jaskier wrinkles his nose.

“You couldn’t have chosen a cleaner profession?” Jaskier grumbles, pinching the clothes between two fingers and holding them away from him. He quickly walks them out of the room and sends them to be cleaned before returning to Geralt, who’s lowered himself into the steaming water with a groan.

Jaskier picks up a bucket and fills it with water before dumping it over Geralt. The witcher wipes water from his eyes, clearing some of the gunk on his face in the process.

“Geralt, your hair is an absolute mess,” Jaskier tuts, running a hand through the strands that are clumped together. “A shame, really,” he sighs. “This is going to take forever to get out.”

“I’m not holding you hostage to wash my hair,” Geralt points out, reaching up to scrub at his hair, but Jaskier swats his hand away.

“No, no. You’ve done enough damage as it is. Allow me,” Jaskier insists, gently washing the mud and guts away, no longer fazed by the general grossness of it.

Geralt doesn’t protest. Instead, he simply sits back, scrubbing the rest of his body while Jaskier works through the strands, massaging his scalp. Geralt can’t help the groan that escapes him at the feeling, and Jaskier falters for a second.

Interesting, he thinks, continuing his ministrations.

Once Geralt is done cleaning the rest of his body, he completely relaxes, leaning into Jaskier’s touch, and the bard can’t help but marvel at how the powerful witcher turns into the equivalent of a contented cat at his touch.

For once, Jaskier doesn’t comment, not wanting to startle Geralt into brushing him off. This is the first time Jaskier’s been allowed this level of closeness, and he doesn’t want to ruin the fragile moment.

He swiftly finishes up with a final rinse before carefully squeezing the excess water from Geralt’s hair. “All done,” he announces quietly, and Geralt sighs, not wanting to leave the warmth of the water. Jaskier chuckles, running his hand through the witcher’s hair one last time before moving away. “Come on, old man, I’m tired.”

Geralt blinks up at him. “I’m not old,” he tells him, and Jaskier laughs.

“How many decades have you been alive?” he challenges, and when Geralt doesn’t answer, he gives him a pointed look. “Exactly. Old.”

Geralt steps out of the tub with a glare, but there’s no real heat to it. He quickly dries himself down and shrugs into the clean clothes Jaskier presents him with.

“We have a long day of traveling tomorrow,” Geralt warns him, filling the silence as they make their way to the beds. They’re not the most comfortable-looking beds Jaskier’s ever seen, but it’ll do.

“All the more time for me to compose sweet melodies about our adventures together,” Jaskier says cheerfully, peeling back the covers and climbing into his bed. “Goodnight, Geralt.”

All he gets in response is a quiet, “Hmmm,” and Jaskier smiles as he closes his eyes.

After that, something in their relationship seems to shift, but it’s far from a bad thing. Geralt continues to be his usual grumpy, often abrasive, self but Jaskier can’t help but notice how much more tolerant he is.

Ever since that night, Jaskier has experiemented, needlessly brushing Geralt’s arm as he walks by, offering to do his hair up for banquets, and clapping him on the back in greeting. He waits for the moment where it gets to be too much and Geralt backs away from him altogether, but the moment never comes.

Eventually, as was bound to happen, they run into trouble on the road. This time, it comes in the form of a harpy, which swiftly swoops down and grabs for Jaskier before he even knows what’s happening.

“Geralt!” he yells, wincing at the pain of talons digging into his shoulder, and Geralt doesn’t even hesitate before whipping out his sword and throwing it at the monstrous creature.

Jaskier closes his eyes at the sight of the sword flying towards him and curses when it lands near his head, straight through the harpy’s wing. The creature screeches loudly, a sound that Jaskier’s sure will still be ringing in his ears days from now, before reflexively letting the bard fall to the ground.

Jaskier yells loudly, curling in the air and squeezing his eyes shut as he braces for impact. He hits the ground, air rushing out of his lungs, and he wheezes desperately at the loss. It could have been much worse, though, and he spares a moment of thought to be thankful the harpy hadn’t had a chance to fly him any higher.

He lays there for a moment, stunned and probably bruised, and listens to the thwack of a sword and the resulting screech of the creature as Geralt fights to incapacitate it.

Jaskier closes his eyes for a second, trusting Geralt to take care of the creature, but quickly opens them again when he feels a rush of heat. He turns his head to see Geralt standing before the creature, which is writhing as it’s set aflame.

Jaskier’s eyes widen. Geralt set it on fucking fire.

Geralt nimbly sheaths his sword again and turns away from the flames, eyes landing on Jaskier, who’s still a little dazed. Jaskier blinks, and by the time he opens his eyes again, Geralt is kneeling in front of him.

“Are you hurt?” Geralt asks him urgently, and Jaskier shakes his head. He lifts himself up onto his elbows, and Geralt places a steadying hand on his back.

“I’m quite alright,” Jaskier reassures him. “Just got the breath knocked out of me, is all.”

Geralt ignores him, placing a hand on Jaskier’s chin and lifting it up, scanning his face for any sign of pain. “Your shoulders?” Geralt presses, and Jaskier stretches them, hissing when he realizes that yeah, the harpies talons were sharp.

“Oh.” Jaskier lets out a breath at the sharp sting.

Geralt’s brow crinkles in concern, and he gingerly moves Jaskier’s shirt aside to reveal long scratches on each of his shoulders.

“Stay,” Geralt commands before hopping up and taking some supplies out of Roaches saddlebag. “We need to clean these up. If we’re quick, we can make it into town by dark.”

Jaskier nods and sucks in a breath when Geralt takes out a cloth and dabs at the blood. “For a minute there, I thought I was a goner,” Jaskier admits, and Geralt pauses as he cleans the wounds, calloused fingers surprisingly gentle.

He pulls back and gives Jaskier an intense look as he says, “That wouldn’t have happened. I would not let it.” He says it with so much conviction that Jaskier has no choice but to believe him.

Geralt quickly dresses the wounds, thankful that even though the scratches are long, they’re not particularly deep. Once he’s done, he sets the supplies aside and slips Jaskier’s shirt back over his shoulders. His hands rest there, cupping Jaskier’s neck.

“You okay?” Geralt asks, and Jaskier smiles warmly.

“I really am fine. You worry too much,” Jaskier tells him lightly, but Geralt merely hums in the back of his throat.

To Jaskier’s surprise, the witcher searches his eyes intently, as if needing to be absolutely sure of Jaskier’s continued good health, before allowing his head to drop to Jaskier’s shoulder, burying his face in the bard’s neck and inhaling deeply.

“Oh,” Jaskier says again, but this time it’s from surprise. He reflexively brings his hand up to cup that back of Geralt’s head, shocked yet pleased at his open display of affection. “Geralt, I promise I am well. You ensured it.”

After a moment, Geralt pulls back, but he doesn’t go far, face inches from Jaskier. The bard gives him a soft smile and cups his cheek, something pleased curling up in his chest when Geralt leans into the touch.

“Hey,” Jaskier murmurs, “come here.” He slowly tugs Geralt into him, giving the witcher plenty of time to back away, but Geralt simply searches his eyes before finding the confirmation he needs and pressing his lips to Jaskier’s.

Jaskier sighs, mouth opening slightly, and Geralt quickly takes advantage, deepening the kiss. He makes a low sound in the back of his throat as Jaskier tangles his hands into his hair. Geralt’s hands ghost along Jaskier’s side, as if not quite sure where to settle.

Eventually, Jaskier gently breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead against Geralt’s to catch his breath, feeling dizzy with the thrill of being this close to the witcher. He lets his hands wrap around the witcher’s waist, holding him tight, and Jaskier smiles when Geralt molds himself to him, completely pliant in his arms. Geralt hums happily, a sound not unlike a contented purr.

“See?” Jaskier murmurs. “I’m just fine.”

It’s with much reluctance that Geralt finally pulls away from his bard, and he gently lifts Jaskier up with him as he stands. Jaskier gingerly brushes the dirt from his clothes as Geralt packs the supplies back into Roach’s saddlebag.

“Jaskier,” he rasps, and the bard looks up from where he’s inspecting his lute, searching it for any injuries.

“Yes, Geralt?”

“Get on Roach,” Geralt tells him, holding her reins. Jaskier can’t hold back his look of surprise. Geralt never lets him ride Roach unless he physically can’t walk for himself.

“That’s not necessary,” he tells him, exasperated, because for whatever reason, Geralt can’t seem to get it through his thick skull that Jaskier is alright.

“I’d like you to,” Geralt says firmly, and Jaskier gives him an uncertain look.

“If you’re sure,” he says, walking closer, and Geralt nods.

“I’m sure,” he reiterates.

Geralt takes his bag and secures it to Roach, who stomps impatiently, and Geralt shushes her gently. Then, he turns to Jaskier and links his hands together.

“Step on, I’ll give you a leg up.”

“Why thank you, Geralt, that is very kind of you,” Jaskier says graciously, stepping into Geralt’s hands and letting the witcher boost him up. Roach, thankfully, stays obediently still as Jaskier settles onto her back, and Geralt effortlessly swings onto her, sitting behind Jaskier.

“Is this alright?” Geralt asks, and Jaskier nods. This is more than alright, he thinks to himself, enjoying the feel of Geralt pressed up behind him, and Geralt reaches around him to take the reins.

The witcher gives Roach two gentle kicks to spur her forward, and Jaskier relaxes back into Geralt’s hold, feeling utterly content.

He starts to hum a tune, already composing a melody of the day’s wild adventures. And wrapped up in Geralt’s arms as they travel, Jaskier feels blissfully still.

#more of me struggling to write romance #life is hard when ur ace 😩#this was supposed to be a short drabble and then accidentally became a whole thing #geralt of rivia #geralt z rivii #geralt #the witcher #jaskier #geraskier #the witcher fanfiction #fanfiction #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #hope writes

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