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#loser emo king
twaterlaw · 5 months
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idk idk I just know deeply in my soul that Law mates for life.
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puppethistoryhive · 1 year
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i miss reddie so much, like 2019 was the year of them. i miss all the high school fanart, the fanfiction!!! like fucking mixtape?? that shit tore me Apart. there were so many quirkly little fanfics on wattpad that never got finished and i was always so sad because they were so good!!!! as much as the fandom loved (and loves because not all of us are totally dead) to joke about how it was always so stereotypical and inaccurate, there were so many original and unique stories!!! i just miss my silly guys :((
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incorrect-losers · 1 year
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Bill: I wish I was 15 and in my emo phase again. Life was so much easier
Mike: Are you not still in your emo phase?
Bill: Listen here you little shit-
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lonelyquail · 2 years
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you ever have a song that isnt really your favorite in any given work but when u encounter it again it Does trigger Emotions. ur like (oh god i forgot this was here. oh god there are tears)
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rinhaler · 2 months
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Hey hey luxie!! Here are the rin hcs I wanted to share with u this is the same anon from the other day!
Sfw:
* friends to lovers trope is the only viable option considering his overall…disposition, there’s no other way he’d give you time of day
* Calls you otaku in a hateful way because he loves the way ur face scrunches up
* Has all of your orders at any type of eating establishment stored in his brain so he can surprise you whenever ur feeling down
* POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE
* “What the hell are you doing hanging out with that loser?” “No, I’m coming over and we’re having a movie night.”
* Believe it or not, he blushes easily
* “Rinrin, do I look pretty?” *blush mode activated* “w-what? Yeah! Yeah, really pretty” he precedes to die of embarrassment
* Likes to scare you lmfao especially if you guys are watching a scary movie he’ll say he has to go to the bathroom and when he comes back he sneaks up behind the couch, grabs your shoulders and makes some weird ass noise and starts cackling once you scream and popcorn goes flying everywhere
* Absolute hater
* Will make fun of the music you listen to but then has a whole playlist of ur fav songs
* Simps for you so hard
* This man literally has a key to ur house and brings u coffee almost every morning
* Always wants you at his games and practices and looks for you in the stands
* He’s a little snuggle bunny it’s canon bc I said so
* Great listener but not really good at advice but will never hesitates to be your shoulder to cry on
* Often invites you to do yoga with him
* Loves to brush your hair and have spa days with you
* But know this he’s always gonna win the idgaf war
* Sidenote I feel like he knows how to skateboard and is good at it??? Must be the emo in him
Nsfw:
* Titty boiiiiiiiii
* That’s how the friendship evolved into a romantic relationship
* From starring at ur tits
* He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it or when it started happening
* “You wanna touch ‘em, rin? You’ve been starring at them a lot lately.” “Pshh whatever no I haven’t, you’re delusional!”
* Denial is a river in Egypt and he’s drowning it in, he can’t possibly want you in that way….unless?
* “Are you sure baby?” Consent king, has to make 100% sure you’re ok with it
* And after that first tit grab he’s done for
* Absolute slut for kissing and making out like literally he could cum from having his tongue in your mouth (he did the first time it happened oopsies don’t make fun of the poor baby)
* SLOBBER MONSTER OH MY GOD
* spits in ur mouth, spits on ur pussy, fucking drools allllll over you
* Loves to lick you and be licked
* Super sensitive nipples he’s kinda embarrassed by it but god does it get him bricked up
* Fav positions are missionary (mating press to be specific) and lotus. He wants to be close to you and hold you but still able to watch ur boobies bounce
* really into eye contact he knows how intense his gaze is and loves seeing you get all flustered from it and try to look away
* Grabs you by the cheeks, squishing them together a little and lightly shakes your head back and forth “nuh-uh, look at me me little girl watch me fuck this sloppy cunt”
* He’s got a dirty fuckin mouth (yum)
* “Harder rin, please baby harder!” “Yeah, you like getting your little pussy pounded? god, you’re a fucking nympho, aren’t you?”
* Once again, POSSESSIVE!!!
* “Who does this pussy belong to? It’s my fuckin pussy, only I make you feel this good, nobody else can ever make you feel like this. That’s right, call out for me baby, say my name, tell me who you love”
* Breeding kink due to said possessiveness, he came in you the first time you guys had sex, you are his and there’s no way around it
* Can and will and wants to get you pregnant he doesn’t give a fuck
* Pleasure dom he won’t stop until you’re crying or screaming or giggling from how deliriously cockdrunk you are
* Strength kink this mf just stands up and fucks u mid air, loves showing off
* Moans, groans, whines, grunts, growls, he makes every sound you could possibly think of despite him being a stone cold statue majority of the time, this is not the case during sexy time
* Oh and let me put an emphasis on the whiny part while he’s getting head
* So needy it’s kinda pathetic really but he’s soooo cute
* “Oh shit yes baby, pull it out, please baby please put my dick in that pretty mouth”
* Secretly loves being teased and edged
* Face fucker, both receiving and giving
* He lets you mount his face like a bicycle and absolutely goes to TOWN on ur pussy
* Shakes when he cums like I said he cums inside you and he actually gets pretty emotional that you just let him and trust him that much to do something so intimate with you
* Stamina is fucking insane he can go all night if you want
* But when all is said and done aftercare is really sweet and sensual, he’ll wanna cuddle for a few minutes, just hold you and caress your back and tell you how much he loves you lots of kissing too
* Once he finally gets up he’ll run a bath for the two of you and both of you wash each other off before going to bed
* But he gets out before you so he can put some fresh sheets on the bed
* Rin itoshi is a lover and a sweetheart with is s/o no one can convince otherwise
Anywayyyy ima stop myself there I could literally go on all day abt him it’s bad I’m sick in the head
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possessive rin is so dear to my heart I deff agree with that. like, stupidly possessive. doesn't like it when other guys look at you or breathe your air you're his and no one else's.
I love the idea of him knowing what we like to eat 🥹 I'm such a picky eater. However I also feel like he'd definitely try and get you out of your comfort zone to try new things!! But I think he'd be proud of u for trying even if u don't like what he's picking :P
HIMMMMMMM BEING A SKATEBOARDER EMO BOY IS MAKING ME CRAZY PLS
Omg u think Rin is a tits guy?? Any particular reason why or? Idk I never really thought about what he'd prefer but I kinda agree now that you've said it... (hate it for me I hate my boobs LMFAO).
HIM SHAKING WHEN HE CUMS I'M FUCKING BARKING I'M BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK I CAN'T COPE HELP I NEED HIM IMMEDIATELY
omg these are all so good I could go on so long about them all but I'd end up writing a 50k essay LMAO thank you for sending them though I'm so?? obsessed?? I wanted to post this it's been in my drafts for DAYS I've never had such an in depth ask before so I wasn't sure how to go about answering but u absolutely ate with these.. thank u for sending omgggggg I'm absolutely DROOLING
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rise-my-angel · 1 month
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If I had a nickle for everytime fandom glorified some emo loser shitbag I wouldn't be poor anymore.
Everyone claims people loved Rhaegar but like no one can name a single friend he had that wasn't men who WORKED for him. He had no friends, he just played sad songs on his harp singing that no one wants to listen to his obsessive prophecy rants anymore.
He got crushed to death by a war hammer. The way Rhaegar died was cooler then he was as a living person.
Meanwhile Ned Stark is out here calling the King fat to his face, strangling a dude in the street in broad daylight for insinuating a joke about his wife, arguing with the Queen seconds after he woke up from a feverish sleep, and letting his kids all keep Wolf pups as pets that he KNOWS will grow to be the size of a fucking car.
Put up anything Rhaegar did and I'll match it with anything Ned Stark did but that he did it cooler more unhinged and didn't have to be a creep while doing it.
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Shitty summary of Six the musical
Ex-Wives
Ladies, gentlemen and subjects, we're gathered here today to listen to bops, how awesome we all were and how much of a bitch Henry was. Thank you for coming.
No Way
Replace ME?! You've gotta be kidding me. I've spent TWENTY FOUR years putting up with your bullshit, and you replace me?! How fucking dare you.
Don't lose your head
Yep, that's me. You may be wondering, how did I lose my head? Well, here's what happened
Hi I'm Anna, I like singing, dancing, I'm French and I'm very sexy. I went to Britain and I hooked up with the king and, well, you know the rest
Heart of Stone
Well, at least I gave him a son... I love my husband, but thank goodness I died before my son else I'd be so divorced or beheaded
Get Down
I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am rich, I am that bitch. bow down your queen, you rascal
All you wanna do
Here's a list of all the guys that abused me since I was 13 until the day I was beheaded for cheating on the king. And backle up because I WILL cry on the last verses
I don't need your love
Woo-hoo he's dead! I love you but seriously I didn't expect I'd live this long
Six
Get in loser, we're joining an emo band
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lucigirl · 3 months
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with charlie looking like this during the confrontation between her dad and adam i really wonder if shes ever seen him like this. i guess she knows her dad is the king of hell in theory, but it must also be strange to see your estranged father (who you remember making duckies for your amusement and who is a also a bit of a loser) use his angelic/ demonic powers, showing all of them he is the king of hell (and this is his house, bitch). and she must know he loves her (i hope), but maybe now hes here she knows knows. she gets teary eyed and everything. and then she needs to step in and stop him to make sure he doesnt kill adam in his demonic rage and he just. snaps out of it. cause he's her dad. sorry its making making me emo
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bisexualenbyblueberry · 9 months
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A Guide To TDP's Male Cinnamon Rolls
So, since I have seen even more "season 6 is the most heartbreaking season yet" tweet screenshots (Aaron Ehasz tell your merry band of jolly souls to stop tormenting me and to leave me alone please I can't take it anymore) I figured I would bring more happy content to this fandom and completely ignore season 5 episode eight ahaha what are you talking about
So I will be explaining the differences between each of our little wholesome men here, because they're all just sliiiightly different from each other, which warrants an entire long text post from me because I'm bored
King Ezran- despite all the trauma he's withstood throughout his life, he's still a twelve year old boy, and there's a sense of childlike innocence about him. This boy would like to tell you about Pokemon, and I would listen to him if I were you. He's the type of twelve year old cis boy who would definitely stand up to transphobic bullies. King Ezran is the definition of the "not all (I suppose men doesn't apply here, 12 year old boys ig?) is right, [insert character name here] would never" meme.
Prince Callum- Callum is literally the biggest loser around and it's adorable. He's literally a crown prince and he couldn't ride horses normally until he was like 16. He's just a dorky little man, who gets excited about big books and research and libraries and things like that. Dude would love light academia. He's a nerd with tiny skinny arms, need I say more?
Head crownguard Soren- he's a himbo, need I say more?
Commander Gren: he's the dictionary definition of cinnamon roll. Dude is polite even with his captors. He has the patience I never will, and that is completely envy-worthy. He's that one friend in the gay friend circle who is endlessly polite to the homophobic mom, just because that's how Gren is. I don't think he could ever be mean, or rude, or angry. And that's just the way he is.
Title-less Terry: Terry is the one who is setting high standards for boyfriends. Terry is everything a boyfriend should be, and he goes even above and beyond. Terry needs to get out of this relationship soon, though, because he is too optimistic and happy to realize the gravity of what is going on with his girlfriend. He literally put all of his issues on hold for his girlfriend, and keeps telling her "Claudia you need to sleep, it's not healthy for you to go this long without sleep :(" and then goes around building rafts throughout the night with no sleep and wearing his binder 24/7. Terry you need self-care too!!!
Crownguard Corvus because I just considered to include him- Corvus is a man who is built different. He is the voice of reason in these trying times, but under his rough exterior, he has no idea what is going on. He is pretending to be in control and he is not fooling us. Corvus is the type of man who had an emo phase. Corvus is just trying to keep everyone alive, and honestly, they need to bring him on more missions because he would've probably helped them avoid so much awful stuff.
Another crow themed man I missed- The associate crow lord. While being an unnamed side character, the crow lord is just a struggling man fresh out of college trying his best to help all of his customers. This man exudes waves of he/they energy. He is happy you're happy, definetly. He just got promoted and he is very proud of himself.
Lemme know if I missed anyone
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autiezo · 1 month
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The idea of Emo Teen Jean Vicquemare lives rent-free in my head
[It comes from @slonechnik 's DE AU where Harry's still a gym teacher and Kim has to go undercover as one of Harry's new students, for an RCM case. JV's 15, so Kim's 24 and Harry's 25]
It's so fucking funny picturing Jean V. trying to talk to Undercover Cop Kim. I'm gonna strive to make JV such a cringy loser. BTW, I think emo kids are cool, but not Jean lmao.
Anyways, here's a list of JV emo teen headcanons (below the cut):
- Nicknames himself “The Dark Mare”, based on his surname Vicquemare (reference to in-game Narrator's incorrect pronunciation of his French surname)
- No one used to respect Jean or call him by his preferred ‘title’, calling him “Jelly Boy” instead. That is, until the Hex incident happened. Jean finds that any student using his actual name, ‘Jean’, is disrespectful; unless he gives them exclusive permission, then that means he really likes that person. He also loathes being called by his initials and all of Harry's nicknames for him (e.g. Mean Vicky, J.V., Emo emo emo, King Void.)
- If Jean is late for gym class, Harry will jokingly and loudly mimick an alarm that goes, "Emo emo emo" to announce the teen's arrival. Jean a.k.a The Dark Mare obviously hates this. In Harry's defense, HDB does this specific alarm thing for all the regular latecomers. Every student has their unique, mocking call.
- JV hates Harry with a burning passion, despite the man genuinely wanting to support him. JV also does everything to weasel out of group sports.
- When he was 13, he used to get bullied and shoved in lockers a lot. So he has learnt how to pick locks from the inside and outside.
- He has also stabbed his bullies with a sharpened metal fork before, to the point where he made them bleed. Thrice. Harry helped him to prevent JV from getting expelled. Jean did bite his bullies several times, and has bitten Harry before. Harry laughed it off and said, “Son, you can bite me anytime if it helps you relieve stress. You have my permission, I don’t mind”. Which appalled Jean, so he doesn’t bite Harry anymore.
- This is the Hex incident. One day, Cuno's uncle (Kubo) stole Jean's diary and tried to read it out loud to everyone, but J.V. used big words Kubo doesn’t understand, so only part of JV’s secrets got out. J.V. got mocked severely, and Kubo + his gang of idiots ripped JV’s diary into several pieces. Jean yelled that he’d curse them all.
The next day, Kubo got into a car accident, which resulted in him never being able to play football again. Someone’s parents divorced. The gang proceeded to lose at football against the girls' team three times in a row. They begged Harry to talk to J.V. so he did. After much of Harry’s pestering, J.V. reveals that his curses didn’t actually work since curses are specific and they didn’t do what Jean commanded. Jean refused to tell Harry his secrets and said he just wanted everyone to leave him alone. And so, a deal was struck, and everyone stopped being mean to Jean, but people avoided him a ton. Rumours did spread, so many students really did believe that if they upset Jean, they’d be cursed.
- Jean actually has great parents and an ideal emotional support system outside of school lmao. Loser.
- Does actually get decent grades in school. He advanced two years in education
- makes his own emo music and song lyrics. Gave up on his music dreams after studying Literature and Music in community college, when he realised that being an outsider musician won't support himself financially. At age 21, he became a cop and joined the RCM at the same time as Harry (HAHAHAAHAHA)
- Has a lil gay baby crush on Kim but would never admit it to himself. He's also terrible at hiding it. Kim is the only ‘student’ he'd allow to call him by his real name.
- Secretly loves disco music but pretends to hate it. Will subconsciously bob his head up and down to disco music slightly if it plays for long enough.
- Has two pet cats he adores and drops the emo/cool guy facade for. JV pretends and boasts to everyone that he actually wants a pet snake instead, but he's a fuxking LIAR
- Has a chronic need and desire to seem 'cool' whenever people are around(except his family)
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artzychic27 · 10 months
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Total Drama AU
Alec: This... Is Total Drama Island! I have gathered thirty teenagers looking for their fifteen minutes of fame for a chance to compete in many grueling challenges, all for the chance to win the grand prize of one million euros! Many will succeed, many will fail and get sent home in the Loser Chute until there's one left standing! Who will get sent home in shame? And who will go home with all this cash? *Holds up a suitcase full of money... Only for it to get swept away by the strong gust of the blades of a helicopter flying overhead* ... Shit... Find out right here! Right now! On Total! Drama! Island!
*Conmercial Break*
Alec: Welcome to Total Drama Island! It’s time for you to meet our contestants! First up are the residents of the infamous Akuma Class! All but two of them have been akumatized! First is plucky hopeful fashion designer, Marinette Dupain-Cheng!
Marinette: Do I have to jump out- *Chef pushes her out the helicopter* AAH!
Alec: Fashion model/all around nice guy, Adrien Agreste!
Adrien: *Jumps out of the helicopter* SUCK IT, DAD!
Alec: Super hero super fan! Alya Césaire!
Alya: Wait! I gotta protect my phone! *Gets pushed out of the helicopter* NOOO!!
Alec: The mellow deejay, Nino Lahiffe!
Nino: *Holding onto to Chef* I don’t wanna die, man! *Gets grabbed by the back of his shirt and tossed out of the helicopter* I WANNA LIVE!
Alec: Prissy little dictator, Chloé Bourgeois!
Chloé: This wasn’t in the contract, you jerk! *Gets pushed out of the helicopter* SABRINA!
Alec: And her assistant, Sabrina Raincomprix!
Sabrina: I’m coming, Chloé! *Jumps after Chloé* Wait! Why is that my title?!
Alec: The emo side of Tumblr, it’s Nathaniel Kurtzberg!
Nathaniel: *Gripping onto the sides of the doorframe as Chef tries to push him out* YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! I DON’T WANNA!
Alix: Watch your ass, Nath!
Nathaniel: Alix, NO! *Alix pushes him out and jumps after him*
Alec: And roller skating powerhouse, Alix Kubdel! Next it’s everyone’s favorite Himbo, Le Chein Kim!
Kim: I’ll show you guys how to dive like a boss! *Prepares to swan dive, only for Chef to push him out* DAMNIT!
Alec: Science wiz, Max Kanté!
Max: *As he’s falling* This has to be illegal!
Alec: Lovable sunshine girl, Rose Lavillant!
Rose: *Doing aerial spin as she falls* I’m flying!
Alec: Dark and brooding queen of darkness, Juleka Couffaine!
Juleka: *Falling without a care* I’m not brooding.
Alec: Tough guy with a heart of gold, Ivan Bruel!
Ivan: Myléne! Hold onto me!
Alec: And his mousy girlfriend, Myléne Hapréle!
Myléne: Why did I agree to this?!
Alec: What a bunch of weirdos, right?! Next up is the class with only three akumatized students! We’ve got future author, Marc Anciel!
Marc: *Gets pushed out of the helicopter* THIS CAN’T BE SAFE!
Alec: Aspiring actor, Jean Duparc!
Jean: *Backflips out of the helicopter* This is how you make an entrance!
Alec: Little Miss Perfect, Aurore Beaureal!
Aurore: I HATE YOU, ALEC! *Jumps out of the helicopter and slows down her descent with her parasol*
Alec: You too! And the girl in her shadow, Mireille Caquet!
Mireille: SHUT UP! *Jumps out of the helicopter*
Alec: The lesbian your parents warned you about, Reshma Leghari!
Reshma: Was that necess- *Gets pushed out of the helicopterI AAH!
Alec: Tough Shorty, Ismael Prisk!
Ismael: *Flips Chef off on his way down* FUCK YEAH!
Alec: Pacifist Bodybuilder, Denise Cabello!
Denise: You suck, Alec! *Jumps out of the helicopter*
Alec: Tech nerd, Simon O’Connor!
Simon: *Chef throws him out of the helicopter* Denise! Avenge me!
Alec: Spunky Black Sheep, Cosette Bellamy!
Cosette: *Kicks Chef in the shins* SUCK IT! *Takes Zoé’s hand and they jump out of the helicopter together* YEAH!
Alec: And the King of New York, Zoé Lee! Right after them, Lacey Greene!… Who is scaling out of the helicopter. Great.
Lacey: What? You gotta stand out if you wanna win this thing!
Alec: Well, if that’s all-
Vivica: Ahem!
Alec: Oh, right. Vivica… I forgot her last name, but she’s a musician.
Vivica: Ugh. *Jumps out the helicopter*
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darkcrowprincess · 10 days
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'It' by stephen king is about the losers club and their love for each other, as well as facing your fear. And anyone who says other wise is big fat emo stick in the mud. Who likes to rain on other people's views of the book and movies. Dont like it don't follow my blog or others who believe that too. Hate people who shit on others. If people want to see the it movies as a romcom(jokingly or not) leave them be. Let people enjoy things! People annoy me.
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Its about love and facing your fear.
(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you)
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boxwinebaddie · 2 months
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is fingerbang in rm?
oooooh...iiiiinteresting.
but i'm gonna say no. :/
i Wish i could put them in rm because that would be so iconic, but there's just too much crossover with the characters; i wouldn't know how to work it into the story with everything going on already.
however! i will raise you this:
so back in the stone ages when i used to run the BWB twitter, i came across a post that you might remember me retweeting/replying to a tweet with a picture of fingerbang kyle and regular stan in it.
at the top of the post, someone retweeted it saying something to the effect of 'ugh, i hate celebrity x fan plots, so boring lol' and maybe it's petty but that made me heeeellla overprotective and Viciously Angry bc that's the plot premise of my entire fanfic and i literally don't think it's boring at all??? yes, i'm insane.
that pissed me off, lmao.
but anyways i was looking at that picture of finger bang kyle and regular boy stan and was like...oh my god it's just rm in reverse???
so here's my pitch for the reverse remember au fic aka...
forget?
shdlkshdlkah
so i think that the plot premise or chapter one would hinge on the fact that it is shelley's birthday. and for shelley's birthday, she and her friend got two tickets to go see finger bang live and in concert, world famous boy band, like one direction, beatle-mania level famous.
buuuuuut her friend backs out at the last minute, so she's left with this extra ticket and that girl was her ride so she basically can't go.
let's leave that off to the side for a moment though, so i can tell you a little about what i think forget au stan marsh would be like...
who i think...
is an absolute fucking LOSER.
like i am talking major loner-stoner energies, has literally one friend and i think its butters who is also his roommate, never goes outside, literally just holes up in his room playing his guitar, writes a bunch of really dark edgelordy songs no one will ever hear — they are actually quite good, but again, sort of political and bleak and beat-poetic, is a serious music snob, like really really fucking annoying about music...might bring him working at vinyl tap back, but i also support city wok delivery boy stan, basically only goes outside to barely pay attention in class ( he's a music major at cu denver ), go to work so that he can buy more pizza, beer, video games and i think he's saving up for a really fancy guitar or to see shows which are his safe place.
i predict that he probably is still bleach blonde stan, i maintain that he can still be half mexican like ravenstan, could be really cute if he brushed his hair and stopped slouching, vegetarian, wears the same beanie from high school, rotates the same like four or five tee shirts which are all covered in stains, full of holes, etc. most of them are band shirts or 100% hemp tegridy farms work shirts from when he was working there in high school which he barely got through, btw, cs get degrees, probably wears the iconic stan leather jacket that is obnoxiously covered in pins, big baggy jeans, like, huge, and ofc, the stan marsh combat boots bc he's an midwest emo king.
i assume he has all the stan piercings, certainly the nose one...should i give him the ravenstan lip piercing for shits and gigs? some tattoos?
but yeah, i love him but he's pathetic. he has like zero social skills. he had one girlfriend and it was wendy and they broke up a million times because he kept accidentally fucking up by boyfailing too hard. bi but i don't think he really knows that. like i feel like he has some bi panic moments but he kind of just takes a shot and swallows those down and tries not to think about it so stan probably thinks he's straight.
interesting.
anyways! stan is gearing up to go to this gigantic metal festival that he's ben waiting for..Forever but then gets a call from his mom who is like "stanley marsh, it is your SISTER'S BIRTHDAY! you are driving her to this concert and that is final!" he complains soooooo much like shelley why are you fucking ruining my life to go see gay one direction????? holy shit???? i hate my life????
but the hotel room(s) are already paid for and stan has the tegridy farms family truck ( riley made me moderately obsessed with little beat up pick up truck farm boy stan i love him ) aka weed for speed aka mary jane ( she is stan's baby ) so he picks shelley up who tries to play finger bang the whole way there but stan is a snob and he is like i am driving i am picking the music, but shelley and him keep fightng and probably break the radio and they have to sit in silence hdlksah, the whole time shelley is going on and on and ON about finger bang and how obsessed she is specifically with kyle, who stan doesn't know much about other than the fact that he is little and ginger?
sigh we can have tall boyfail loser midwest emo weed farm skater boy stan and short cute fresh faced world famous popstar kyle as a treat, you are welcome to everyone, but mostly riley.
also because i gave jersey an accent, i mean, i don't think forget finger bang stan has a super strong accent but there's probably a little twang there just from being all the way out there in super hick nowheresville rural colorado, it kind of embarasses him so he doesn't talk much or very loudly at all, might have a slight stammer?
idk i love him he's a qt. <3
anyways they get there and it is PACKED!!!!! it is literally hell, stan is so overstimulated holy shit, like forget ( why am i calling it that like that is so fucking funny ) stan is so introverted, he is not vibing. also because it's all mostly screaming girls with signs and stuff, shelley is one of them, she is holding up this really obnoxious one that says 'DEFILE ME, KYLE' on it like gOOOOOOD.
he's in hell fr fr fr.
but it gets worse because right before they are about to get in, this group of rabid fans runs by and one of them knocks her red sugary drink all over stan and completely douses his shirt. he's ready to die. the hotel is too far away, so he has to go into the stadium store and buy something to wear but sigh...the only option...
is black tee-shirt with the words FINGERBANG ME <3 in a big pink glittery font...but sigh...*raven vc* at least it's black. he has no choice but to buy it rip the guitar fund.
he goes back in with shelley and the finger bang boys come out i think its cartman, kenny, kyle and wendy but...wendyl? might be kinda spicy if stan's ex-boyfriend was in fb, also bc that makes him confused about his sexuality...nina rm/fb trans rights, baby!
stan hates everything about their upbeat, capitalistic, commercialist vibe, all of it is really obnoxious bubble gum pop stuff meant to be peddled to teenage girls, its almost propaganda and makes stan sick.
which, speaking of, the songs are bad, but the singing, he's realizing, is actually quite good, particularly the singing done by the little ginger finger bang boy who shelley is obsessed with who...for some reason stan really cannot take his eyes off of. he also thinks he might be crazy but he swears they accidentally locked eyes a couple times, which meant stan had to take a swig of flask he stashed in his jacket.
but i'm gonna finish this post out with a bang or, rather, a finger bang if you will, because i think ala the virigin sacrifice schtick in rm, they probably single some audience members out...
shelley picks the extremely oppurtune moment before that happens to use the restroom and basically pawns her gigantic DEFILE ME KYLE SIGN off on him, so he's just holding this kyle sign and the FINGER BANG ME teeshirt so naturally, fingerbang kyle thinks he's a fan, gets really close to him, winks, steals his beanie, replaces it with his white, blingy, fluffy ushanka and says
"Hey Cutie,
Wanna Get Finger Banged?" <3 ;) xxx
LKHDSLKSHLKHSLKHD I CAN JUST SEE RURAL BOY MIDWEST EMO STAN HEAVY BREATHING HAVING A BI PANIC ATTACK LIKE OHHHH GOD OH GOD LITERALLY CANT SPEAK FEELS LIKE HES GONNA THROW UP FB!KYLE RIZZ IS WAY TOO STRONG HELP
anyways...Scene.
this was so funny to me. like obviously it's not a real thing or anything but it was interesting to imagine an alternative world where finger bang is the famous band and kyle is the big celebrity, not stan. i think maybe they're looking for a 5th member and butters joins the band??? also maybe style have some secret red string of fate tying them together that neither of them know abt?
live, laugh, fingerbang.
uncle nina, celebrity x fan enthusiast
#this was so funny to me i don't know what the hell this is#but it made me laugh so there#finger ban(d) supremacy baby!#this kind of thrilled me so u can ask me silly questions about the fake forget fingerband universe if you want#i am a little obsessed with lanky introverted mid west emo music snob music major rural colorado weed farm boy stan#and tiny bubblegum pop boy next door super cheeky flirty it boy golden boy kyle who probably has a lot of demons and#idk i get the feeling he's got some sort of secret addiction or really dark past...something i think fb stan can sense in his aura#do i give fb stan the stan-a-thesia#idk but he can tell that hes putting on some kind of act#something about maybe having wendy become wendyl#and end up in fingerbang just seems dramatic and interesting to me and really explores sexuality and gender identity#fb stan is repressed that whole fanfic by the way holy shit#i guess its enemies to lovers again#i love drama#i feel like butters is butters and not marjorine#but maybe also transitions through my fake fic#why do i kind of like midwest emo stans twang deep country backwoods colorado accent and his awkward stammer#kyles voice is beautiful by the way he also can do ballet <333#he is very cute stan is sick all the time its so bad#OKAY IM DONE ARE WE OBSESSED#oh god what if i had finger bang order city wok#and stan deliver it oh my god#luv my fake fic#where is the prissy preppy rich boy kyle visits tegridy farms and has a paris hilton simple life moment and gets chased by the farm animals#and doesnt know how to milk cows or shuck corn or anything and stan driving the tractor and pitching bails of hay shirtless#that is the content i want to see
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wisteriasymphony · 2 months
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hehe. thinking about the (non-canon) thing i wrote where claudia roasts the shit out of fuckass loser luka
"You know- I just gotta ask," a voice spoke. "Why would a girl like you be wasting a night like this working?" Lydia turned towards it. The boy was tall, with faded blue-green hair and a garish hawaiian shirt. He propped his elbows up on the counter, and all of the spiked bracelets and bangles on his wrists clinked together. He was attractive—too attractive. At least to be flirting with her without some secret ulterior motive, that is.  "I get paid to do it," she deadpanned.  He didn't like that response. Whatever. Lydia was more focused on figuring out if the stupid getup he was in was more punk or emo or even scene—minus the dumb shirt.  "That guy you were talking to," the punk said, as if he were sharing a secret worth dying over, "You do realize that's Adrien Agresté, right? The supermodel? ...The one guy famously out of anybody's league?" Lydia looked to see Adrien being bothered by the short Chinese girl the punk had entered the store with. It looked like no matter what he was trying to say, the girl kept trapping him back into another conversation.  "He could be the King of England for all I fucking care," she replied. "A customer is a customer." "And you're right," he confessed, "Speaking of customers... I'm Luka." Luka reached out to take her hand. "Pleasure's all mine." "Yeah, you sure as hell ain't letting anybody else have it," Lydia pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth, as if a bit of food was stuck between them. Obviously, she didn't let that emo fuckhead touch her. "And that's your girlfriend over there, isn't it?" He slunk back a little, dejected in the exact same way a cheater would react when they got caught cheating.  "It's complicated— wait-!"
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phanfictioncatalogue · 6 months
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Popular!Phil Masterlist
Baby, They Ain’t Got A Clue (ao3) - cafephan
Summary: Dan, the shy new kid in school, is asked to prom, but his date stands him up. Phil, the popular outgoing kid in school, is stood up by his date too.
Beauty And The Geek - amazingdanielhowell
Summary: Dan and Phil are both fairly popular but in different clicks and the school ships them.
Blue-eyed Hottie - helloanonymouswriter
Summary: Everyday after school the ‘Blue-eyed Hottie’ stands outside and waits then gets a text before leaving again. Everyone in school fancies him and wonders who texts him every time.
Dance With Me - cocktailaunt
Summary: Popular!Phil wants to ask Shy!Dan to the school dance.
F L I R T (wattpad) - danandphilgaymes
Summary: Phil is popular: president of his fraternity, shortstop of the baseball team, he’s got it all figured out. But when Phil meets Dan, a flamboyant freshman in the theatre department, everything changes. Despite warnings from their friends, Dan and Phil can’t stay away from each other, but when these two worlds come crashing together, can they find a balance or will their differences pull them apart forever?
How Did I Survive So Long Without You (ao3) - Wholeheartedly755
Summary: Daniel Howell is a shy incoming Year 10 student to his town's secondary school, his mother is a single alcoholic who is verbally and physically abusive to her son. To Dan school is his escape, but starting a new secondary school is most definitely a scary prospect, but he hopes he can make the best of it and to hopefully make a friend.
Phil Lester is a very attractive Year 13 student who hates the attention he gets from all the girls at his school.
When Dan realizes he has the locker right next to the most attractive guy at school, and Phil sees the beautiful, shy Dan walking towards him, who knows what could happen.
Follow these two as they battle through the ups and downs of school together.
Imagine Living Like a King Someday - pianodan
Summary: Phil is a boarding school student, and he has pretty much everything. His dad owns the school, he’s pretty popular, has the best room, gets all the best treatment – he’s the King. Dan is a cleaner/phil’s personal maid there, and he isn’t as lucky. Some students are assholes to Dan, including Phil at first.
Lungs Filled With Flowers - botanistlester
Summary: Whenever Dan has a bad day, he always knows that Animal Crossing will be there for him no matter what. When he finds a friend code written on his desk, he immediately adds it into his DS, despite not knowing who it could be.
My Tunnel Loves a Deepthroat (ao3) - Iceprincessvictuuri (orphan_account)
Summary: Pastel!Dan had been trying to get Jock!Phils attention for the longest time.
Run Gay Boy Run (wattpad) - nopretendingnow
Summary: Phil’s a bad ass popular who’s kinda homophobic and Dan is a nerdy runner with more on his plate than everyone assumes.
The Heat Of The Water And The Heat Of Our Souls (ao3) - kuwuromi (aphrodeity)
Summary: Dan and Phil have been best friends for as long as either of them can remember. One night in a jacuzzi changes the entire dynamic of their relationship, starting with some fond memories of the past.
This Must Be Fake - amazingphilstolemyblog
Summary: basically loner!loser!dan has a huge crush on popular!soccercaptain!phil and basically from teenagers to adults. of course, some of the lyrics are changed to fit around this fic ( and this day and age ).
Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Phil Lester is a bubbly, popular boy. Dan Howell is an angsty, emo teenager. They fuck in the nurse's office. Enjoy.
Took Me (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: In which Dan decides kidnapping Phil is a great idea.
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