The Lord of the Rings 1978
Okay so this was pretty terrible but god DAMN did the background artists go hard.
Look at how fucking brutal this is!
In particular, I thought the way elven architecture and spaces were portrayed was a truly inspired decision. Nine times out of ten, elven concept design goes for the sleek, clean, minimalist look with lots of gold filigree, muted palettes, and grand sweeping arches. Honestly, lately, this is probably due in large part to Peter Jackson’s own Lord of the Rings capturing the public’s imagination, but regardless of origin, the aesthetic is incredibly pervasive. Now, I get it - it makes total sense, right? It’s an effective contrast to show a younger race like humans getting by with rustic, utilitarian dwellings and cities while elves live in effortless, minimalist grandiosity. It shows them as being not just a step ahead aesthetically, but as if they’ve gone through entire epochs of design. It suggests a deep history, and a careful refinement of culture and craft - it’s thematically resonant as fuck with the narrative role elves are usually filling. Thus, the ubiquity.
So seeing something go all the way into left field with this shit, I was enamored.
In Lord of the Rings 1978, Rivendell is a fucking trip. All of the halls and rooms are typified by almost psychedelic excess, with patterns upon patterns and splashes of vivid color adorning everything. Huge, looming statues are ever-present, lurking behind the characters like watchful gods.
In the outdoor council room, things have descended into madness. We’re not even getting full figures anymore - faces conjoin as they emerge from cold stone, headless bodies entwine even as they lose the finer details of their form, curves become mere suggestions of limbs.
The traditional elven aesthetic implies that immortality drives one to an obsession with perfection. It’s not about quantity, it’s about refinement: they build and rebuild, honing their craft and pushing a design’s evolution until it is flawless. There is not a line or angle out of place; every piece is in concert with the whole, in a way only a society of hundreds of centuries-old master craftspeople could successfully do.
Here, on the other hand, is an ethos and style almost Slaaneshi in its excess. Why stop at one elegant, perfected form, when instead every nook and cranny of the space can be filled with extravagant beauty? With an undying society and few needs to meet, every citizen can be an artisan and contribute to a staggering visual assault that finds continuity in its lack of uniformity. They can simply add more, and more, and more, until there is not a single bit of space left for more embellishment.
I would like more of this, please.
Anyway, anyone who says Peter Jackson’s trilogy is all running should watch this movie, holy shit. Uninterrupted minutes, I swear to god.
Also, there was a man in the credits named Aesop Aquarian, which I thought was important.
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Some yummy drumsticks from Bakshi's LOTR:
A compilation of what I deem some of the nicest leg shots to be found in Ralph Bakshi's "The Lord of the Rings". Starting, of course, with a couple of features of ol' Longshanks Aragorn, himself...
...And now taking a detour for the Elf on the left, playing the lute, in Rivendell:
... And now a good shot of Boromir's hamstrings:
Despite the gritty solarized footage, Legolas' limbs are getting a good profiling, here:
Back to Aragorn, again:
The Balrog of Moria seems to be rocking some shapely gams, as well:
It would be truly remiss of me to not include Aragorn's high-rise kicking, here:
I agree with Nostalgia Critic about Legolas leaning on poor Pippin like that, but he's flexing rather well while he's at it, so I guess he gets a pass for that:
Can't forget about Lord Celeborn, here:
Boromir get another couple of moments to shine:
And then Aragorn defies solarization to steal the scene, again:
Then Boromir finally gets some more good frames in (For all the screen-time his legs receive, it's hard to find really special examples, and I couldn't bring myself to show frames from when he really starts to get defeated):
But to lighten the mood again, Legolas and Aragorn get some more good attention:
And now, a moment of acknowledgement for... some guys in Eomer's clique:
My personal favourite leg moments for Aragorn and Legolas, respectively:
And here, to close it out, we actually have the frames that inspired this whole post. It turns out that most of the time, the Orcs' legs are either too thin or too hidden - though some of them still stretch well, I'd say - but from the first time I saw this scene, I've always thought that this dude's thighs have it going on:
So, there we have it. There are some other good still-frames, but Tumblr will only allow so many pictures to be in one post, and I didn't want to push it. Plus, a lot of them come from the scenes that some of these were derived from, some very close at hand, in regard to them.
The takeaway is, that the trove of hot guy-thigh material in this film is another thing that gets criminally overlooked. (You know, aside from the relentlessly present "Gondor has no pants" jokes.)
Can we all just do like Kramer and appreciate the scandalously beautiful views?
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