#long term consequences i could have due to getting it twice. and what i could have if i get it more than twice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluejaybytes · 1 month

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@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

#my OCs #uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS:#Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door #she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.)#but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it #When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift #The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson #It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat #Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not #Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend #and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died'#ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her-#-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him #anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck-#-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD #Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop #Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone #-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency #Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital #Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh !#THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house-#-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3 #also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke #one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO #also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it #Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it

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allisoooon · 2 years

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The reaction to Allison has been interesting ,(and mildly infuriating) I've seen so many people saying "obviously" this was setting her up as the big bad villian of S4 which I don't see at all.

I think it comes from a few different things:-

1) people saying they want morally ambiguous/dysfunctional characters but in reality don't unless it's 'pretty' or angsty or something people can easily project on to. I assume there has to be a big difference in demographic for TUA Vs say, The Boys which is full of reprehensible people but the audience expect it. We've seen The umbrellas kill people as kids , I don't think their morality is the same of everyone elses.

2) there are two things I think from a writing perspective probably should have been done differently a) the Luther rumour scene -it brings back the romance subplot that people hated and couldn't even accept as an example of how their childhood fucked them all up, and well, it's hard to redeem SA. Probably should have been cut.

b) there's a certain point in S3 where all Allisons dialogue becomes almost entirely angry/snarky which has lead to a large influx of 'omg Allison is such a bitch!!!!!' I wish there was a late in the series convo with someone neutral like Klaus to give the character a moment to breathe.

3) Lack of sympathy for the character bc we've seen very little of Allison's life pre S1 and in childhood. I've seen loads of people say that she has had a basically cushy life due to her powers, and I think sooo many of the audience believe if they had her powers it would be all sunshine and rainbows. We got multiple flashbacks for Klaus this season (which I loved) but I really think Allison would benefit from some.

4) good old racism and misogyny. I reaaaaallly wanna know what the reaction would have been if Klaus killed Harlan for revenge for the moms or some shit.

Whew, this is all very true. People want traumatized/morally grey characters as long as they're sexy about it (see: Spike from Buffy, who took the SA way further and was still probably the most popular character). It's still bizarre for people to have watched the second season and say she's never had to work for anything.

I also think it's the target, though. Being mean to Viktor is kind of treated like the ultimate sin. People act like he's a little kid. So we get an angry black woman (already stigmatized as fuck) screaming at a small white person people essentially see as a child and go "I understand why she's angry, but she's crossing a line by being mean about it." She's talking to someone who destroyed her life twice. Does she owe it to him to be nice about what he has done to her, sometimes intentionally? Don't get me wrong, their fight was fucked up and Allison said some fucked-up shit, but the issue of the audience's reaction to Allison this season is multi-faceted--and it is an issue.

We needed more of her perspective. Fuck, we needed that scene with Klaus or someone where she says she doesn't get why everyone's so keen on dying and letting everyone else die with them. Put that between the vote and Reg killing Luther and Klaus could help her come to terms with death by talking about what awaits them on the other side. She could start looking forward to seeing Ray again when they hear a scream from down the hall...

...Apparently I have a fanfic to write.

But for real, I don't think Allison's arc will feel satisfying until next season. I think there will be big consequences for her, as many as there were benefits for her this season, and I hope they will come after she has calmed down and is ready to make peace with everyone. That's not even getting into what Harlan could have meant when he said her vibration sounded "wrong" (something to do with her self-rumor, maybe?).

#tua meta #the umbrella academy #allison hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ask answered

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jackoshadows · 1 year

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i was wondering what do you think is going to happen with the vale plot? it feels so disconnected from what’s happening outside of the vale. particularly i think sweetrobin will die due to poisoning and negligence, i don’t think the maester can do anything to save him and i think a harry/alayne marriage will happen without consummation for whatever reason. a sort of twice a miss, third a hit deal.

The Vale feels so disconnected because we have only Sansa's POV there and she's a very insulated character who only gets her information through Littlefinger info dumps and exposition and Littlefinger is secretive for a reason. GRRM deliberately does not want the readers to know of his plans.

We get more information about what is happening in Westeros and Essos in Arya's chapters in Braavos because she is going out and getting information and hanging out on the docks and hears what the sailors and visitors are saying. Jon Snow keeping himself updated on events south of the Wall means we can connect the events happening at the Wall with whats happening in the rest of the realm.

For example, it's Jon Snow who thinks of the food stores in the Vale that can come in use because the Vale is fertile and sat out the WOT5K. Sansa is in the Vale and despite observing a price gouging scheme has no thoughts on the food scarcity in the rest of the realm - no thoughts, head empty. Bran is the only other POV who is completely disconnected from everything else that's happening.

The Vale's food stores have been mentioned more times than not for it to not have plot importance. Come the Long Night, I think we will see more and more of the Northerners fleeing south for food and shelter. And places like the Vale and the Reach will be essential to feed the populace.

[Note: As an aside I just read one of GRRM's short stories called 'Guardians' . There's a lot of similarities between the Sea Monsters in that story and the Others/White Walkers in Asoiaf. In the story there is an Island called Vale Areen which is a fertile land and helps out with food supplies when Namor is under attack by the sea monsters. A fertile Vale Areen... Sounds similar to the fertile Vale ruled by the Arryns doesn't it?]

There's a chance SweetRobin survives. I would love it if he survives and finds out what Littlefinger and Sansa are doing and turns the tables on them. That's a long shot however - kid is suffering from epileptic seizures and being constantly drugged with dangerous levels of Sweetsleep that the Maester has warned will have long term consequences.

SweetRobin is doomed and Maester Coleman is going to be framed for the murder and get arrested - similar to how Marillion was arrested and executed for Lysa's murder. It could be that his death is what is going to be a wake up call for Sansa.

Sansa has to get her hands dirty to be any kind of effective player of the game. I find it hilarious that her fans think she will be some kind of Disney princess in the North or an 'embodiment of hope for the future' because she has good manners and says please and thank you. LF and Varys didn't get to where they are by being nice. Sansa will have to do shady stuff and will be hurting innocent people to play the game - like she's already doing when she threatens the Maester to drug SweetRobin despite it affecting his health.

At some point Sansa has to actively affect the plot - the way Jon, Arya, Bran, Dany, Sam, Arianne, Theon, Asha and all the other youngsters do. Thus far she's just following orders and simply moves wherever the tide takes her. The only plot consequential action she took of her own volition was when she secretly went to Cersei and tattled all of Ned's plans, way back in AGoT.

Sansa has more freedom in the Vale right now than ever before. There are servants under her. She can try to form her own networks, try to figure out what's happening. She has information at her finger tips - for ex what Lysa and LF did to Jon Arryn. Use it. Put out feelers about the Vale Lords.

The TWoW Alayne chapter was disappointing in that regard. I am expecting maybe 2 or 3 Alayne chapters in TWoW and hopefully there's long awaited character growth and development there for Sansa.

Will a Harry/Alayne marriage happen? Again, I am not sure if Littlefinger is telling the truth about his plans to Sansa. Littlefinger is all half truths and manipulation and until Sansa takes the initiative and tries to figure out what's happening that's all we have.

Sansa Stark is still legally married to Tyrion Lannister. Everyone knows this. That marriage has not been annulled. How is it that Harry and Alayne can get married and Sansa unveiled as Sansa Stark? Makes no sense. As the king Jon Snow supports points out, she's Sansa Lannister. Surely Littlefinger knows that it's going to be hard to rally the Vale to go North, amidst sea and snow storms, in order to get Winterfell for Sansa Lannister?

There's also the mountain clans headed by Timett son of Timett who are possibly gearing up to attack the Bloody gate. There's a tournament where Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse - who is seeking Sansa Stark - has arrived. It's possible some of the people in the Vale know that she's Sansa Stark. Who knows maybe the Hound may turn up there.

So yes, SR is most likely doomed. And no, I don't think Sansa is getting married anytime soon.

#asks

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thetistaboveall · 1 year

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The Real Knights Of The Round Table 3

Part 1

The experiment is a rousing success father then my dreams could have imagine all four literal titans are now in my laboratory locked up right in my cryogenic sleeping pods for the long term.

Today I woke up extra anxious feeling a pure unadulterated desire to begin me conquests of the world except I feel some trepidation on my part due to the news of hero’s sent ok rescue missions.

I need this to cool off for a bit even the best laid plans need to be reconfigured at times this being one of them and I take my cue to get our of bed.

Grabbing my towel I go head first into the morning routine a hour later I emerge back in to my world refresh and completely under my control.

I walk in front of my stomp my feet twice as the mirror slides to the side revealing a shaft hidden behind the wall and I enter the cart as the elevator descends.

Speeding down the elevator shaft all I could think of those sweet asses under my control in the lab and I can’t use them like the bitch puppets they are.

The door swings open to my laboratory in a slow fashion my eyes land on a file of my old plans and one in particular to blow the world out.

I pick up the blue print scanning it over I find the missing piece to it’s unfurling onto the unsuspecting world simply it calls for their dna.

“Computer take a tissue sample of all four of our guests please.” I think to myself.

“Curating samples in order now and process of the serum is within completion.” It replies

“Soon they will see things in a whole new light and no one can stop me.”

“Time shift into temporal displacement at the next half hour.”

“Which local?”

“Lawrence island my dear”

“Alert, alert…”

“What? Video feed”

“Oh Great! The last thing I need is to see these two oafs.

Part 2

Despite the delay my four pods lower into the ships basement chambers below the earth and begin to be injecting with my serum compound.

Only time will be my enemy in this as they need to feel the fool extent of the serum seep in and of course take its course in re-educating them.

My eyes return to my new nemesis crawling through the internal air system shafts it is quite disconcerting to think the length that hero’s go through to save the day.

“I really am not into the whole pretend they are not here and drop on them when they least expect it.”

“Commence the Hypno gas loop into the air ventilation system immediately.”

“That will more than calm them down for a bit.”

Inside the air vents they continue crawling till they see us in the end of vents but before they can regroup the gas fills up.

I can hear them coughing, struggling to try an escape plan and fall unconscious Bonds leg slides down kicking the vent door open.

I laugh so hard my voice reverberating in joy at this small bit crucial victory who knew the US could snoop so low as to hire a Brit to kill me.

“Escort our guests to the second chamber my dear, leave their carcasses naked on the floor and open the container.”

“The four soldier should have awoke by now.

Don’t you think? Release them”

“Mwahahahahaha”

Part 3

It is unfortunately my fault all this occurs yet I could care less of the consequences of it all. Entering the main hall four lifeless husk come to life once more. Captain America is the first to full become aware of his new reality.

“I think I woke up from a nightmare about a war and I was ugh!”

“A hero”

“Don’t ever say that boss”

“Why not?”

“Is that not what all of you are?”

“I shutter the thought at that “

“I am no hero, I am a villain and always will be.”

“Rise to your feet and take your place.”

“Yes Boss”

“That door has a few new recruits help them see the error of their ways.”

“With pleasure…Mwahahahahaha”

Part 4

Nightwing rolls onto his back in a deep sigh and heavy breath he notices me a smile on his face spreads wide.

“You seem bright eyes and bushy tailed”

“I hate that saying “

“Oh really?”

“Brings up images of rabbits and rainbows”

“The thought alone makes me want to puke”

“Why can’t good see it our way?”

“It’s impossible for them”

“They never compromise or surrender “

“Good always sees itself as moral “

“We are unjust and perverse”

“Fools all of them”

Part 5

“Nightwing and Captain America “

“We are saved”

“Who are they? We are here to train you “

“The names are Nightbitch”

“American Pussy”

“What happen to you? You were hero’s “

“We have seen the light”

“Evil so freeing and he enlightens us every day.”

“They say knowledge is power but true power comes from Master Lawrence “

Captain Pussy eyes glint as he leaps into the air like a Russian gymnast tackling James Bond to the floor and injects him with my serum.

Nightbitch uses the syringe like a dart hits him Reached dead center on his neck he collapses into my control. The room closes in on chairs swoop into view placing them on it and a video plays with hypnotic tones subliminal in the background.

The end

#My Hypno Knights

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ideasoflife5 · 3 months

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Nothing on earth is free.

If somebody is to tell you. They are to help you for free. Carefully ask them, "What's the profit and consquences behind the lies they've told you?

I've always doubted the aspect of a free help.For as much as I remember a free help can set your soul on fire with vulnerability.

Free things are Free Goods and services.They are like gold that glitters from afar. It does not glitter for long or may not always be the actual gold glittering.

We desperate to achieve something. It's hard to live. When the silver spoon ain't available. We go out in hope of finding means to get ourselves independent. Escaping the idea of having to go through the hard way. To have the things we want on our tables. Nobody loves pain. We all desire an easier way of living and the easiest ways are taken for free;with little to no work to obtain success.We all love free things but never realise. At the end of the free path you would have taken more sweat than one who paid for it.

I remember thinking, "Why do I have to sweat to live? When I can take a free opportunity and enjoy the advantages of living without work."

Everything feels blessed thinking of one who has no bills to pay. I mean a human living on earth at no cost of sweat.

Dreams do come true. It was an environment I visited. That had people thinking I was living in paradise when I was dying inside due to the expectations of having all the time in the world.Not realizing free things have their expenses.

Living in a free environment turned into hell on earth.It meant twice the work to survive because the free that was available was not satisfying. You could not have enough amounts of free coffee nor food to fill your stomachs. It was better using your own sweat to look for enough coffee and food. What was the purpose of the term free.When you would always need an extra amount; to pay for.The free goods, one thought were free. Were of no use.

Since then; I've always kept a lesson of experience. To never trust free things. Items you don't sweat for come packed with consequences. Having things the hard way, at a paid cost will give you satisfaction and gets you a long way..

Don't be afraid to take life the hard way to comfort. Every free thing will require you to work for it. In one way or another, someday...

#monicazindy

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prolix-yuy · 2 years

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Chapter 6: Last Looks

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader Production Designer

Summary: Last Looks - the last chance to make a change before filming starts.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: M, some light groping, overuse of filmmaking terms, E in other chapters so full series is 18+ MINORS DNI.

Notes: It's Day 6 of Dieter Takeover. Where do these two go from here?

Cross-posted on AO3

Below the Line Masterlist

INT. PARLOR - DAY

Ronna is a fucking saint. You relayed Dieter’s request to her through Dee, hoping that if you went through the proper channels and were polite about it she’d agree. It turns out you barely need to convince her. She was already on the fence about cutting Carwin’s departure, the fact that Clara would not get her confrontation and Carwin wouldn’t get a moment of redemption not sitting well. Her approval of the final scene was dependent on a minor rewrite to shoot it on site instead of off location, which is why it was cut in the first place.

Dee brought the good news back to Dieter. You were feeling too dizzy with the emotions of the morning, instead going back to Dane and Shelly and telling them the good news. In your relief you even gave them the assignment to scout out a location where that scene would be filmed, relieving them from set duties. The interiors were all prepped, you could handle it just fine. They took off to survey the grounds, and just as they were getting out of sight you saw Shelly slip her hand into Dane’s. You couldn’t tell from here, but you think they might have squeezed back.

Despite grumbles at delays, the day was only slowed down by a few scenes that were rescheduled to tomorrow. Dieter came back on set looking a lot less wild in the eyes (I gave him half a Valium, Dee said under her breath with a knowing look), clothed and styled and looking a little sheepish.

You didn’t approach him, not wanting to hint at anything salacious behind the scenes. When he caught your eye across the room and offered a small smile, you returned it with all the warmth you could muster. The ghost of a kiss, a promise, still lingered on your lips.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

The days continued to tick down, still on schedule even with the minor hiccups all productions face. The discovery of the murder scene took twice as long as expected, mostly due to wardrobe and special effects slowdowns. Your team offered help where needed, dabbing sticky fake blood onto props and helping the FX crew with blood splatter mechanics.

These later scenes also relied heavily on dressing getting set up and broken down quickly. You tended to be flitting between rooms, coordinating props returns and furniture deliveries, barely having time to talk to anyone outside your team and Dee.

This included Dieter, who had stolen quiet moments with you over the past weeks, but hadn’t pressed for anything more. You can still feel the uncertainty and some self-doubt when he touches you, which you attempt to counteract with gentle acceptance. He puts his hands on you whenever he gets the chance - touching your shoulder as he passes, a knee pressed against yours under a folding table - all discreet. He knows the consequence of being too open in front of your colleagues.

The gentleness of his interest coils inside your chest and keeps you up at night. Yes, you'd forgiven him a long time ago, and yes, you'd let him pay some penance between your legs (the image of his ravenous eyes burning in your mind). But now, you had to come to terms with what you wanted from him.

I like you.

I'd like to do more with you.

Did you want that too? You'd never considered it before, always pushing it down when he tried to connect with you, but now you had to address the sneaking affection Dieter is fostering in your chest. The touches and moments were respectful, but clear.

I'd like to do more with you. If I haven't fucked it up already.

He did manage to sneak in a few encounters that made your knees weak. As you stood on a ladder in the grand entrance to replace a tiny bulb in a chandelier, he came around the corner and scoffed.

“Didn’t realize best boy electrics could be women now,” he said in that low gravelly voice of his. You snorted, twisting the bulb into place.

“That’s not very progressive of you,” you teased back, peering around to be sure no other bulbs were in danger of flickering out.

“Not very safe of you either, this looks like an OSHA violation,” he shot back, and you watched his large hands wrap around the ladder, steadying it for you. You tossed him a grateful look and finished your inspection. His head was at waist height at your differing levels, and as you readied yourself to descend you felt the fingers of the hand not steadying the ladder come to your hip, bunching the edge of your t-shirt. You paused, looking down at him.

His eyes were playful, a teasing smile dancing on his lips as he lifted the hem to reveal a thin strip of bare skin. You were both alone in the space, the crew finishing up on the other side of the house. You watched him with baited breath, calves screaming but unable to move.

Without breaking eye contact, Dieter leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the newly revealed skin. You bit your bottom lip and a smile curled on Dieter’s mouth. He waited for a reprimand, a flash of discomfort to warn him away from you. When none came he kiss quickly changed to a suck, a press of his mustache and a flutter of his tongue against your flesh as you took in a quick breath. He let go with a pop, pressing another kiss to your hip and letting your shirt fall.

You descended the ladder in a way that would definitely get you in trouble if a safety officer was watching, sparking eyes connecting with Dieter’s, now above your eyeline rather than below. He smirked, but there was an undercurrent of affection.

“A little something to look at when I’m not around,” he purred, stroking his thumb over your hip. The sound of approaching voices moved him past you and to the other end of the hall, pulling out his phone to make it look like he was Googling something.

That night you lifted your shirt in front of your bathroom mirror. A purpling hickey bloomed on your skin, not painful to the touch. You caressed it, and wondered if you might let him put his mouth on you again. And what else you might want to do with Dieter Bravo.

EXT. PROPERTY GATE - DAY

The filming was winding down, only a few establishing shots left and Clara and Carwin’s confrontation. Ronna and Dee decided to leave the scene until close to the end, primarily because it was an exterior shot and they wanted the best possible conditions. The day of the wrap party was fast approaching, and after a few schedule shifts it looked like the final scene would actually be the confrontation.

Dieter was focused. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him so focused. When he wasn’t on set for other scenes he was rehearsing his final speech. To an outsider it might look like he was just trying to get the scene down pat, make sure it was burned into his brain and as natural as possible. However, you know that this means more to Dieter than Ronna knows. This scene might be the one that gives him a semblance of closure on some of the hate he harbors for himself. He has to get it right.

You let him be the final week, your workload also a massive undertaking. You had pieces to return to half a dozen prop houses, rooms to reset to their original floor map, on top of keeping a keen eye out while the camera was rolling. Dane and Shelly stepped up, acting as runners for most of the last days and keeping you sane. They also were talking nonstop about the wrap party, excited to let go and celebrate what you felt was a wildly successful production. You desperately hope you’d impressed Ronna, you want to be the production design Schoonmaker to her Scorsese if she’d let you.

The day of filming the final scene Dieter comes to you in the parlor room. You’re cleaning up, referencing before photos of the room to put back the owner’s belongings in the correct places. Leaving a set as if you’d never been there was a point of pride for you.

“Can I talk to you?” he murmurs, a hand on your elbow. You nod and direct Dane to finish resetting the dining room and master bed after this one. They look at you and Dieter with a puzzled glance, but take your reference photos and get to work.

Dieter leads you outside to the back of the mansion. People sometimes mill around for a smoke back here, but it’s blissfully empty right now.

“Will you come and watch the last scene?” he asks. He’s still holding your elbow, his thumb rubbing circles against the fabric of the thermal you’re wearing.

“Oh, I'm sure you’ll do great,” you say, a little confused at yourself as to why you phrased it that way. Why didn’t you just say yes? Were you really still holding back that much?

“I’d feel better if you were there for it,” he replies, stepping closer and putting both his hands on your arms. He’s in costume, a rich-looking black jacket and vest, a shock of crimson around his throat. His hair is slicked back, which you hate. His natural curls are by far your favorite. It feels like you’re in a Jane Austen novel, the leading male bad boy begging for your forgiveness and you need to embrace the third act redemption arc before you can slip into the denouement.

“Okay,” you say, nodding when he smiles like you gave him something precious. He hasn’t kissed you since that one time in the trailer, and the more you’re with him, the more you want him to.

Fuck, have you fallen for him?

“Call time is in five, walk me down?” he asks, and you lead him down the road to the entry gate for the mansion. You walk a respectable distance apart, and if not for the way Dieter keeps his hands occupied you wouldn’t be able to tell how nervous he was. You want to reach out and take those frantic hands in yours, soothe him in the moments before this scene, but you’re half held back by propriety, half by giving him the space he needs to get into the right mindset.

Shelly had the idea to film the final scene at the gate, both mirroring the beginning of the film and allowing Carwin to be caught before escaping. The sky was overcast, perfect lighting. Clara and Carwin (you finally were able to see Dieter as Carwin) stand on either side of the gate, Carwin pulling it closed as Clara rails at him. She is putting on a hell of a performance but you can only watch Dieter’s face.

This is the truest performance you have ever seen him give. He is quiet in the way a far-off storm is, the air crackling with electricity and a rumble barely perceptible. The lines, which could be delivered flippantly, or in a way that defers blame, are spoken with such doubt, such fear and remorse.

“I am not this villain; I have slain no one; I have prompted none to slay;” A flash of uncertainty in his eyes, betraying his belief in the words. Hands wrapped around the wrought iron bars, his face framed in the spaces between.

“I have handled a tool of wonderful efficacy without malignant intentions, but without caution;” Carwin’s fingers brush Clara’s, begging for understanding. She jerks her hand away, and his falters in the air, holding the realization that he will not be forgiven

“Ample will be the punishment of my temerity, if my conduct has contributed to this evil.” He says this with all the certainty in the world that this crime will follow him, consequence or not.

Scholars argue over the duality of this monologue, that Carwin is both justifying his actions and deferring blame, that he holds no guilt but may hold remorse at the outcomes. Dieter’s performance melds all of the warring emotions of a man who plays a dangerous game and has never reaped the consequences. And Clara, amazingly talented Clara, does not forgive his trespasses but accepts his turmoil, letting Carwin leave. His damnation is the knowledge of what he’s done to them, and how it will haunt his soul.

The scene ends with the camera hanging on Clara’s face, Carwin walking away as the DP finally gives the audience space to breathe with her. You can’t breathe at all, lost in the moment until Ronna gasps out, “Cut. Shit. Perfect.”

A moment of silence, then the cast and crew burst into noise. People are clapping Dieter on the shoulder, words of amazed encouragement jumbling up together. Clara is beaming, talking with Ronna and Dee. Her and Dieter hug, a couple tears in their eyes over the emotion of the scene.

“Okay team, I am happy to say that we have a production wrap on The Transformation!” Dee shouts, and everyone whoops a little cheer and claps. The breakdown begins immediately, but before you can escape back to the mansion to finish your own work, Dieter pulls you away from the crowd and through the line of trees along the driveway path.

“Holy shit, that was fucking incredible,” you blurt out, wishing you had a more eloquent response. Dieter pulls you into his arms, his chest still heaving.

“Fuck, yeah, that felt…shit, that felt like real acting. I haven’t felt that good in years.” You put your hands on his cheeks and squeeze, admiring the dazed smile he’s giving you.

“They’re gonna eat it up. Might need to make room on a shelf for Oscar number two.” He makes a face at that, pulling you in for a tight hug that he buries his face in. You crush him right back, warmth spreading through you.

"I wanted you to see it," he says into your neck. You nod, letting your fingers travel to the few soft curls at the base of his neck.

"You're forgiven, Dieter," you say. There's a tremble in the clutch of his arms, then a sigh. You scrape your nails against his scalp soothingly.

“After the wrap party…” he starts to say before leaning back far enough to see you. “I’d like to show you exactly how I feel about you.” The devilishly suave smile he can turn on in a moment brightens his face. “For as long and as many times as you’ll let me.”

A shiver runs up your back.

“Dieter Bravo, are you asking me to have sex with you?” you tease back. He tips his head to the side.

“I think you know I'm asking for more than that.”

It's another moment where time could stretch, and you could prolong your answer. Deny how seeing him these past weeks has made you feel, and changed how you feel. His voice no longer brings dread, his silhouette anxiety, it now ushers in excitement.

“Okay, after the wrap.”

PREVIOUS || NEXT

#dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo / you #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo x female reader #the bubble fanfiction #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo #the bubble fanfic #the bubble #prolix fics

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insomniactalks · 2 years

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I am just curious since you used to ship Rina and now you ship Portwell. Do you think that Gina is really over Ricky and really has moved on from him and is not pretending that she likes E.J. because he is the safest option right now why or why not?

Thanks for your ask, anon! 😁 This is a really good question! Because I can understand the appeal in both ships, I want to answer your question(s) based on the canon evidence we have thus far on the show without my personal ship preference influencing my answer. I hope to achieve just that (or try at least lol). 😅 Adding a ‘read more’ in case this gets too long.

To answer the first part of your question (about Gina really being over Ricky), I have to say, yes. I do believe Gina is romantically over her feelings for Ricky by the end of 2.09. Jack acts as a sounding board for Gina by being able to relate to the feeling of heartbreak and how one heals from that experience (which still heavily affects her at that point with her sarcastic comment, "I think I'm the president [of the Heartbreak Club]" (2.09). By 2.09, Gina is still reeling from the emotional effects/consequences of her opening-night confession to Ricky in 2.06 (tho technically it takes place in 1.10). Given Gina's behavior in 2.09 to 2.12 (admitting things have changed b/t her and EJ, admitting to the chocolates misunderstanding / agreeing to go on a risotto date, being excited about her date with EJ / annoyed with Ricky's accident pushing their date back a few weeks, sobbing when EJ cancels said date due to miscommunication) it's safe to say Gina has romantically moved on from her feelings for Ricky. However, tho the evidence suggests she's romantically moved on from him, what still affects her all throughout S2 are the insecurities she harbors from her past experience with Ricky. Gina's major insecurities in terms of a romantic relationship are revealed throughout S2 (ex: 2.04- "misinterpreting" a situation with Ricky and "still just trying to figure out" things with him, 2.05- not knowing "where [she] stands with [Ricky]" and "You ever put yourself out there are just get nothing back?", 2.06- the reveal of the confession scene and how she "wishes [she] could take it back" (2.05) and comparing that moment in her life to a plane crash (twice!), 2.09/2.10- thinking EJ is just being "nice" to her instead of returning her feelings b/c that's what happened with Ricky). For someone who is introduced as a headstrong, confident, and ambitious character in S1, as we get to know Gina, we learn she has insecurities too, just like all teenagers!😚 Ricky certainly helps Gina early on in her character arc by helping her see that it's okay to let her walls down and have a moment of vulnerability with someone who "gets her" by both being "outsiders" in their own ways (1.05). While Gina feels most comfortable opening up to Ricky for the first half of the school year, she eventually allows the other Wildcats in too (namely Ashlyn, Carlos, and EJ). So, yes, Gina is closest to Ricky in S1, but it doesn't go beyond that b/c she allows herself to become closer to other ppl who "get her" too (2.05- Carlos and dancing, 2.06- Ashlyn being her number 1 confidant, 2.09- Gina being able to relate to EJ "showing up for [their] peeps" b/c that's what they had been doing all day in that episode (and even in both season finales!)) All that to say- yes, I believe Gina is romantically over Ricky but she still carries her insecurities due to her past with him. (I absolutely believe Rina still need to have a conversation in S3 to repair their friendship. While they are friendly to each other in the last few episodes of S2, their friendship is not how it used to be in S1, so I hope to get that back next season! 😄)

Onto the next part of your ask: is Gina pretending that she likes EJ? Given the way she was sobbing in 2.12 after EJ cancelled their date (thanks Jamie 😐), it’s clear to me that she was devastated by the possibility the boy she likes doesn’t like her back (again). I mean, just look at her face: (excuse the poor quality of the screenshot. I had to take a pic on my phone from my laptop b/c I suck at technology 😂)

I highly doubt Gina's pretending here. She's crying just as much in this scene as she was in the Rina confession scene in 2.06. They even have the same score playing in both scenes to highlight the significance of how Gina felt at that moment (like she misread the signs and the feeling of rejection). The very fact that she agreed to go on a date with EJ (after acting like “there’s nothing romantic in the cards for [them]” (2.10), and claiming in 1.05 that she “doesn’t do dates [b/c] it’s hard enough to make friends” shows the audience how much growth Gina has had in her character arc over the course of two seasons. There’s no pretending on Gina’s part in terms of how she feels about EJ (same goes for him).

For the last part of your ask, about EJ being the ‘safest option right now,’ I have to disagree. We have to keep in mind just how difficult it was for Gina to feel like she could “put [herself] out there” (2.05) again after her heartbreak over Ricky. Let’s face it, Gina was not okay in the first half of S2. She really struggled with being vulnerable and opening up to the Wildcats at first because she’s not used to having friends (at least not long-lasting friendships) given of how much she moves from place to place. By the S2 finale (months after her first confession) Gina takes a second chance on herself and on another potential romantic relationship with her second opening-night confession (this time to EJ). Keep in mind that neither Gina nor EJ no what the future holds in terms of whether or not they’ll be staying in Salt Lake City after the Spring semester. Gina’s mom allowed her to stay with Ash for this past semester (and summer, for now), but that doesn’t include the next school year. EJ is positive on not wanting to attend Duke University b/c he “didn’t earn it” (2.08) and he still has to figure out what comes next. These are factors both Gina and EJ are aware of at the end of S2 but they decide to take a risk anyway b/c their feelings for each other outweigh their insecurities/doubts. I deff think S3 will be the ultimate test of their relationship because their futures are so uncertain as of now. Will they consider doing long distance if one or both move away from SLC? Will they date for some time and decide their better off as friends? Will their relationship fall apart? Will they make it out of this season stronger than ever, together? Will their relationship survive whatever Tim has planned for them? No one knows or will know until the season arrives (which I hope is sooner rather than later!)😆 Thanks for reading if you got this far! ❤

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belovedgamers · 3 years

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Foolish’s Lore: L’Sandburg

Final part of my Foolish lore summary!

DISCLAIMER: it’s canon <3

That being said! Summary under the cut!

CREATION

Soon after the Red Banquet, Bad claimed a 3x3 space in Foolish’s path. Throughout a disagreement with Foolish, Bad proceeded to claim more and more space. Foolish eventually agreed to let him have one chunk of land to build. Bad built a tower and dubbed it L’Sandburg. Antfrost supported Bad. HBomb joined in, also claiming a chunk of land for his own country. Shenanigans ensued in which more and more land was claimed under different names.

Eventually, Foolish hired Purpled to kill Bad. A little later, they settled down and Bad went back to his one chunk of land in L’Sanburg, agreeing to let Foolish rearrange it as needed if he wanted it to fit more with the general aesthetic of the Summer Home. Bad attempted to install a toll of passage, which Foolish refused to pay. At the same time, Bad went through a dispute with Puffy over whether the land was L’Sandburg of L’Puffberg.

PATHING DISPUTE

Foolish proceeded to build a pathing around L’Sandburg while also remodeling it to make it look more in sync with the rest of his Temple. Offscreen, Bad built a wall on Foolish’s pathing, violating their original agreement, and demanding payment of one golden apple per passage. Foolish continues to refuse to pay that toll on his own land, and is enraged by Bad’s building of the wall.

ULTIMATUMS

Foolish writes a letter to give “the leader of L’Sandburg” AKA Bad an ultimatum to remove the wall in five days or face the consequences, although he would like to avoid full out war.

Bad responded by leaving him a letter in response telling him to “EAT DIRT”, “DOWN WITH THE TYRANNICAL TOTEM” and “DIEEEEEEEE”. Bad also, upon learning of Foolish’s kids, briefly kidnaps Finley before giving her back, congratulating Foolish on his fatherhood and giving him some gold.

Foolish, in response to the threatening letter, proceeded to make preparations. He wonders if this is how he’ll break his peaceful vow and make his first kill.

ALLIES

Foolish does not want to involve too many people as the conflict could get bigger and bigger and damage his home. He spent yesterday stream talking to Skeppy and then making letters to a few key figures. Among the people Foolish has tried to recruit are:

Skeppy (Confirmed)

In exchange for a tower in the Summer Home

Attempt to get to Bad through his connection with Skeppy.

There is a plan to “fake kidnap” Skeppy and tell Bad he will only be released if Bad relinquishes L’Sandburg.

Foolish suspects that Skeppy may betray him and go to Bad’s side.

Philza (Dubious)

Due to his dislike for governments

Attempt to recruit him via letter, is not directed to the Syndicate since Foolish does not canonically know about them

Foolish does not want withers in his land, but he recognizes Philza and his ally Techno’s strength and is hoping they will agree to help him. Appeals to Philza

Refers to himself as “your friend and greatest rival.”

Eret (Invited)

Due to their past friendship

Foolish leaves a letter to him and tells him of the slight against him by “Bitchboyhalo”, doesn’t make any promises or offers

Refers to Eret again as “old pal” and himself as “your old friend”.

He will NOT involve: Tommy (has been through too many wars) or Tubbo (he doesn’t want nukes, chat, this is his home).

UPDATE: Tubbo and Tommy have since involved themselves (explained further down).

PHILZA’S SOLUTION

Philza visited L’Sandburg in order to assess the situation before bringing it up with “the council” (the Syndicate). He did not see any major problem and did not understand why Foolish claimed in his letter that the people of L’Sandburg had impeded his safe passage to his home, as the Nether pathway was undisturbed.

Upon seeing the wall on Foolish’s path, he was still in disbelief of the situation as he saw an easy solution: walk around the wall and not pay the toll, since nobody was there to stop him.

He read the books and their dispute but did not make any major comments.

Philza set up iron gate parkour along the side of L’Sandburg before returning to his home, jokingly demanding payment. He then said that Foolish could come to him if the situation became more serious, but for now the solution was simple and set.

TUBBO’S “PRESIDENCY”

Tubbo checked out L’Sandburg in search for Foolish’s vault. He claimed presidency over it and left signs on the land, claiming it as his. He attempted to impersonate Bad in an official declaration of war in an attempt to reap chaos.

Foolish did not believe the declaration, as it was signed by Tubbo himself. He was willing to accept Tubbo’s presidency, however, as he assumed Tubbo would not have major involvement and suspected he would not visit L’Sandburg again.

OBSIDIAN WALLS

After seeing the expanded walls and Tubbo’s declaration of presidency, Foolish built obsidian walls around L’Sandburg, although they did not encase it completely and he still allowed for its inhabitants’ passage.

RANBOO, TUBBO AND TOMMY VISIT

Later, alongside Ranboo and Tubbo, they attempted to claim Foolish’s land in the name of the Pope (Tommy). Foolish refused. Tubbo continued to claim presidency and ownership over L’Sandburg. He tried to say that L’Sandburg was his home, only to be reminded by Foolish that he’d already commissioned a mansion from Foolish himself.

Tubbo told Foolish to tear down the wall, Foolish refused. Tubbo insisted he didn’t want Foolish to pay a tool but rather to feel inferior. He declared himself President of L’Sandburg, Ranboo the Vice President and Tommy the secretary of state.

Negotiations continued, Foolish attempted to convince Tubbo to move L’Sandburg with little success. Tubbo offered Foolish $100 (a Nintendo gift card from Mr Beast) in exchange of tearing down the obsidian walls. When Foolish continued to refuse, Tubbo threatened to declare independence. Ranboo and Tubbo (Tommy had left earlier) took their leave.

Foolish checked if the gift card was indeed valid but did not reclaim the funds. Instead, he decided he didn’t really want to put the time to tear down the obsidian walls and ended stream.

Foolish then declared that he will give L’Sandburg (Bad) two days to leave before taking action.

“In two days, I will see this removed, even if I have to change my ways.”

BAD’S LONG TERM PLAN

Bad contacted Puffy to show her the walls Foolish had built around L’Sandburg. Bad found the signs by Tubbo and took them down. He also talked about his long-term plans to get people used to the toll. This way, he plans to make a steady income and hopes to interest Foolish in a purchase of L’Sandburg, sell stocks and become a millionaire.

To note, Bad diminished his actions as part of the Eggpire and the events of the Red Banquet, saying things like “Eggpire, what is that?” and “I have no idea what you’re talking about” when Foolish’s death was brought up. He tried to claim that Foolish has been bamboozled once or twice before Puffy stopped him by describing the situation as Foolish being “brutally murdered in front of friends and loved ones.”

Bad proceeded to ask Puffy for ways to increase the value of the walls of L’Sandburg “in order to sell it back to Foolish.” Puffy proceeded to say that if Bad had presented the offer to buy L’Sandburg to Foolish originally, he may have taken it but after Bad’s threats it may be too late. Bad argued he’s been playing hard to get. Puffy countered that he was actually scamming Bad, although he denied it.

He then attempted to argue that it should be fair he get “overhang land” from the original agreement, before declaring that he’d gotten it through conquest. He proceeded to say he would make L’Sandburg giant and decided to use Foolish’s obsidian walls as another toll gate.

L’SANDBURG THE TOLL COMPANY

Bad wondered if he could get Wilbur involved in this and remarked that he needed allies. He then declared L’Sandburg not a government but a toll company in order to prevent ending up on Technoblade’s bad side.

“We’re a toll collecting agency that collects tolls, builds stocks and, you know what? We also specialize in walls.”

He later took it back and decided to be “just L’Sandburg” and demanded Puffy pay the toll. He claimed Foolish’s obsidian wall as part of L’Sandburg. He then wondered how much Technoblade would charge for protecting L’Sandburg, calling it his “sand castle”.

PUFFY’S INVOLVEMENT

It is unclear if Puffy will be taking any sides in this conflict. She called herself “an outlier, just spectating” when Bad tried to include her in L’Sandburg and did not want to participate in his scam. She refused to be included in the plan even when Bad offered to rename L’Sandburg into L’Puffberg.

“I’m playing the long game.”

“Well, you’ve inspired me to play mine.”

Puffy later helped Bad write his offer for Foolish, but clarified the following;

“I’m not scamming my own son. It’s either this or involving my son in a war.”

#foolish gamers #foolish g #foolishg #dsmp #dream smp #lore summary #catrina speaks

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immiryn · 3 years

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On Otherkin And Cancel Culture

In the effort of being clear, I have personal experience with the topic at hand. I write this in an effort to spread awareness of the behaviors that I've witnessed.

It's also worth noting that I am speaking solely to my experiences in the Otherkin communities online, and that any prescriptions are to be taken in said context.

-----

My experience with the clumps of Otherkin communities is transitory. I'm a nomad. From one community to the next, I move. If a community dies, I move. If something particularly egregious happens that I cannot stomach, I move.

I have always searched for a place to call "home" in these communities, and these places for one reason or another lack what I need or desire. Often it's that activity dwindles down and that eventually a server "dies" of natural causes. In one or two occasions, it has been due to acts of a moderator or "public figure" of the server; whether that is something that I disliked personally, or something that affected the reputation of the place and thus caused a rift in the membership.

Within these communities, I have found a sense of tribalism. You are With, or you are Not. You cohere, or you leave. What brings us together is a sense of being Something Other, and sometimes some people are too Other.

This lines up squarely with my last big post, on "Kinnies" and discourse. Regardless of what the individual uses the term for, and regardless of whether they may learn about themselves as part of the group and cohere quite well, the clumps of community have sometimes decided that this was too Other for them. They don't fit into the tribe, so it's time to boot them out.

In general, as long as people are being respectful about it, I don't see a problem with server staff deciding what the focus of their server will be. It's when members decide this, or when people deign to be disrespectful and act without empathy in the process.

Something else that I've witnessed is more sinister in outcome. Most people who don't fit a particular tribe will find another to join. People who have been publicly called out and shamed over any number of behaviors will not.

The topic of the day is Cancel Culture. Hot words, hot topic. Strap in.

If you have substantial evidence, making a call-out post may well be worth it, especially in the more predatory circumstances. This typically involves a manifesto - a long document detailing clearly the transgressions and the evidence that proves that these transgressions happened.

A call-out post may come in two other forms:

A post is put out warning people away from someone. This can range from a paragraph to a few paragraphs, perhaps with a picture or two but sometimes without anything more than anecdotal evidence.

Someone says something in a community space, warning persons away from person X.

In both cases, there is little or no evidence of a transgression other than what one or possibly two people felt happened. There may not even be a criminal act involved. In this digital age, people are more than fine with getting angry over a minor argument and making it into something more.

Why is this a problem? Because people tend to trust their peers with their (social) safety, and don't engage in critical thinking as a result. This implicit trust allows people to share things like "x person did y thing, don't let them hang around". Short statements proliferate far more readily - if you've been on Twitter, you know what I mean - and the discrimination spreads.

When the discrimination is by an admin/mod or by someone who knows them well enough, it can spread through a community space without any real effort involved.

So, the target gets called out for their actions. What happens next?

They may be removed from the server or community with or without due process.

They may be ostracized from other community spaces as word spreads.

Individuals who find themselves vexed enough will assert their right to "keep others safe" by talking to people who associate with the target.

The above behaviors may even occur in a form of intervention, wherein language is used to encourage the target's associates to drift away in one manner or another.

Seems fair and all, but have you asked what kind of Justice this is? Here are consequences of our actions, in order:

Removed the target's ability to learn from their mistakes or argue for or against their issues.

Removed the target's ability to create new associations and learn to integrate into the community (or communities).

Allowed the target to take harassment for their actions.

Allowed the target's associates to be interacted with or manipulated in favor of reducing the assumed effects the target may have on others, which incurs stress and potential little-t trauma on the associates.

Allowed the target to have their associates removed from them, whom may have been able to interact with and understand the actions of the target in a way that allows them to communicate to the target about what happened.

In short, we've punished the target in a way that may not be befitting of the crimes, and we've done so in a way that removes their path towards reformation.

That's Retributive Justice. It creates suffering for the sake of suffering, making spaces "safer" but eliminating people who could contribute to the spaces we share.

-----

It's something that has happened to a friend of mine. Someone who was outspoken and sometimes quite brash in certain communal spaces, but who endeavored to improve the lives of people around them. The consequences for their "actions" have been severe, and people felt it necessary to intervene in my personal life as a way to get at theirs.

I have watched as my friend lost friends, lost people to communicate with and to understand the world through. I saw them lose access to the only place that was willing to host them in the first place, all because one or two people in charge got a bug up their ass over baseless allegations.

My friend lost the opportunity to argue their position, or to reform...if indeed there ever was one.

In the process, I lost my ability to trust in them. Fears, doubts, and traumas were stepped on without a care because the intervening individual "cared for my safety" ... despite only talking to me once or twice, a year or two ago. I've been having to work hard, to journal and process how I felt while trying to understand the motivations and the feelings on the other side.

-----

Shame and blame don't create reform. They merely allow us to create suffering for the sake of our own suffering.

Be wary of anyone who would shame or blame someone else without evidence to back it up. Especially if it's someone who holds a position of power in the social space(s) you inhabit.

#dragonkin #otherkin #otherhearted #alterhuman #wolf therian

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cat-scarr · 3 years

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Ben's Characterization in the Ultimate Kevin Arc in Comparison to Another Superhero

It's not often that I discuss other superheroes on this blog (as Ben 10 is my absolute favourite and the main focus of this blog), but I've noticed something about another "superhero" that further proves my point when compared to Ben.

The Ultimate Kevin arc is one the fandom's opinion is divided on, and the claim that Ben was so out of character he "wanted" (no, he didn't) to kill Kevin is a common complaint.

But...what if I told you there exists another "superhero" who kills people for no justifiable reason at all? Not even in retaliation for committing a heinous crime, or to protect the rest of the world from the danger that is their sole continued existence?

When you compare that kind of behaviour to Ben's constant back and forth on the topic of even considering to go to the extreme of putting down an offender, regardless of relation to that offender, in the Ultimate Kevin arc...I'd hope you reconsider thinking Ben was anything near a "sociopath."

A term which, by the way, is a little insensitive to continue using loosely considering it is literally a mental condition, not just reserved for remorseless serial killers.

A person who recognizes the power he has, what it can do, and the consequences of what he's capable of is not comparable to someone like that because he has remorse as shown by his holding back of his power.

Because he REALLY could have done worse. He HAS the power to do worse.

But back to my point, there is a fairly new series called Invincible in which the main hero's own father brutalizes him (which has turned into a meme), and regardless of if said main hero can or did survive, his father, "Omni-Man" does this for no reason, besides to prove a point. In addition to the brutalizing of his own son, he purposefully causes the murder and slaughter of not just a couple, but dozens of people, then states that those he killed are meaningless.

All and yet, continues to be labelled as a "superhero", due to his ultimate motivation for going this far to prove a point being that, with his powers, he can better the human race if only he receives compliance.

Now compare this to Ben, who upon being given the opportunity to go through with putting an end to someone's life, even thought to make it as "quick and painless" as he could. Showing how, he'd still think about the ethics of his actions if he were to go that far. And primarily because he had a personal relation to the offender in question, Ultimate Kevin.

However, in his case, his heroicness is now being questioned and the writing is being seen as bad, instead of groundbreaking. Despite Ben being the one still sticking to his moral compass and remaining loyal to what it means to be "heroic."

Part of being a good hero is recognizing the power he has and what it could allow him to do, but choosing when it is appropriate to use it to it's full extent, if at all. That's a responsibility and, I'd argue, vital character development if the hero is in it for the long run.

Furthermore, there are other superhero-type characters that have gotten away with murder and it hasn't affected the audience's reception of them much at all either. So, taking that into account, I find it VERY interesting that Ben particularity gets so much...criticism to put it lightly, for even considering the possibility that he might have to put down a threat to society at some point in his hero career.

And thinking his actions through, at that, as he had multiple opportunities to go through with it, but ultimately didn't. Again, because he didn't actually want to.

Unlike this particular character, Omni-Man, who doesn't think twice before killing innocents solely because he has the power to do so.

#yes this was inspired by the memes lol #ben 10 #ben tennyson #ben 10 ultimate alien #ultimate kevin arc #invincible #invincible meme #invincible amazon #superhero #superheroes #man of action #superhero analysis #pop culture analysis #omni man #essay files #gore tw #blood tw #violence tw

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sopxhiea · 4 years

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Wicked

Alfie Solomons X Reader

Enemies to Lovers!

Warnings: Large age gap.

Summary: Alfie and Y/N learn to keep face in between their loved ones but the truth soon threatens to come out. Unavoidable consequences are quick to follow.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“At least put your guards down for me.”

“You know our love would be tragic.”

The sound of barrels rolling on the ground is all that can be heard while someone toys with the paper in front of them. There’s silence but it’s not the comfortable kind, it’s the kind that makes small beads of sweat form on Ollie’s forehead while he waits for someone to speak from the other end of the room.

Alfie stares straight ahead.

Your brother is nonchalant about the situation that’s going on, thankfully. He looks at the paper in front of him and reads it, over and over again before sliding it back to its owner on the desk. Your eyes never meet his.

It’s the meeting you dreaded. You and your brother had been called to Alfie’s office to renew the contract your father had made, it was inevitable and even though you’d spent last night on Alfie’s bed while he found ways to make the meeting go as smoothly as it was humanly possible, you find yourself to be nervous.

Jack, your older brother by a couple years, is not fond of Alfie even though he’s grown up in front of him like you did. They used to get along, you think, until Jack realised that he wanted much more than what he had and ruined anything good in his life after everyone you and him were related ended up under the very soil you walked on.

It’s a tragic story, really but not a story one would be able to make out after taking a look at you. You both look like posh high class citizens, which you are but there’s more to the person you are than what you look or act like. Alfie knows that well.

It had been going well.

You’d managed to hide the fact that you’d been waking up with the very enemy before you for the past four months, there was not one track you left that would enable them to trace things back to the two of you. It was also rather surprising, just how long it had lasted for the both of you.

And you’d fallen, slowly.

It was your fault for thinking so much about him. You knew it was inevitable, you falling for him, that morning where he had cooked you breakfast, you knew that you’d fall for the bear of a man if you didn’t end it right there and then but you didn’t have the heart to do such damage, not to him.

Anyone who knew you well would just laugh at your face if they’d heard just how gentle and kind you were with him. You were usually the one to be cruel, to dismiss any feeling and get on with business but you’d gotten carried away with him, your heart was taking the lead on something in your life for once.

Your guards were still up but they were much weaker when Alfie casted a look on you. They didn’t have the stability and power they once possessed as he worked through every little puzzle you presented to him with yourself. He was much more patient than you’d thought he’d be.

“It looks alright to me..” your brother spoke as Alfie eyed him, he’d never been fond of the young lad since he was much more careless than he should’ve been.

Your brother turned to you and you nodded before speaking. You wouldn’t tell him that you had revised the terms more than twice with Alfie before and that was why they were clean cut and done well according to your brother’s needs. You saw the surprise in Jack’s face due to how understanding Alfie was being and silently thanked him with your eyes before speaking.

“Yes, I don’t see why we need to delay the signing of the contract any further.” the words were breathier than they should’ve been but Jack was too daft to catch on anything unlike Alfie who found himself to grow hotter at the sight of you.

In the last months, he’d seen you in many scenarios but this was the most professional and uptight he’d seen you be in a while due to your brother’s presence. He’d seen you moan his name while your nails dug into his skin, sometimes you’d smile at him in your bare glory in the mornings. He recalled the times you’d play around with Cyril while waiting for the food to cook but you were far from any of those women now.

You are the enemy.

It’s impossible to miss the lines of hate and spite Jack feels towards the man in his eyes. You don’t blame him for not liking Alfie since the family and business history always complicates things. He’d never been the sharp one in the family either so you see the reasoning, although you don’t agree.

Alfie sees your attachment to your brother, him being the only alive one out of your family despite how useless he usually is. He’s not built for this business, everyone knows that but your dead family possesses way too much power for anyone to speak ill of you or your brother.

But not Alfie.

You know the rumours about him to be lies, mostly because you’ve gotten to experience his kindness in the last months and also because he’d never been that way to you. Ever since you’d known the man as a teenager girl, he’d been the only sane person around including your family in this shit hole.

You and your brother soon sign the deal and shake hands. You don’t miss the glisten in Alfie’s eyes when his hand touches yours and you thank heavens that Jack is entirely too daft to miss it. Alfie’s hand caresses your waist and your eyes widen but he lets go after a squeeze and you realise that Jack has already made his way downstairs.

“Nice job being subtle.” you speak but he senses the sarcasm. He doesn’t lean into kiss you or caress your arms like he usually does when you’re both alone. You see the glint of amusement in his eyes and he speaks.

“Jack’s one daft fuckin’ lad, yeah..” he chuckles while his voice fills the oak walls. You nod at his words but the silence is soon to follow.

“Yeah, he’s not the one for details.” you speak and your voice echoes in his mind for a while for the sole reason of missing you.

“Luv, I-” he speaks but you’re fast to cut him off, there’s a million dollar smile on your lips as he looks at you, clearly taken back but he knows you know what he’s about to say.

“I need to leave, Jack might get suspicious soon.” you say and your words are like glass, cutting through his inked skin as he nods. He knows Jack probably things you’re discussing something about business.

You know what he’s going to say, he’d said it last night in a mere whisper when he thought you were sleeping. You’d pretended not to hear it but the words had been haunting you ever since.

There’s no goodbye this time when you leave through the front door.

-----

Things tend to take a left turn when you think they’re going in the right direction. The room is filled with the kind of energy you remember would fill the walls when your father would scream at you. Cyril is hiding somewhere upstairs to get away from the shouting and the cries that leave your mouth each time you try to explain something to Alfie.

It was one of your worst traits, had always been. You’d cry when you weren’t able to express yourself clearly. Anger and frustration would peek through your eyes and the rest was a fountain of little glass pearls.

“We can’t keep-” your voice is soft and shaky and this time, he’s the one that raises his voice at you.

“Ya’ were the one, yeah, fuckin’ givin’ me the idea in the first place.” he says, his voice booms through the corridors of the large house, you feel smaller than you already are from the one end the of the room as he stands in the other.

You know he won’t hit you but the fire in his eyes is not the kind you’re used to seeing.

“I know that. I just think I’m getting-” you try to speak but he cuts you off. It’s only his voice and eyes that make you feel a tiny bit of fear. The rest of him is calm, he doesn’t seem angry or sad, he’s just confused as to why the conversation is taking place right when he was about to confess his love to you.

That’s what he’d whispered against your skin last night when he thought you were sleeping.

“Wha’ the fuck are you gettin’ love?” he asks, voice in the usual tone as he tugs at his beard.

You could say many things: you were getting tired of him, of his affection. Maybe, he thought, you were getting bored.

“Attached.” you speak, your voice is low but he hears it and feels his heart stiffen. It’s his fault for thinking that things would go well.

He then stills for a while like the ocean at sunrise. He’s calm s he stares right into your eyes, he knows now for a fact that you’re starting to have feelings. He sees the fronts you’re still able to put up, your guards are not down despite tears rolling down your cheeks.

It’s too late, he thinks. It’s too late for you to get out of this mess both of you managed to create.

“At least put your guards down for me.” he speaks, no swear words or a harsh tone this time as his voice fills your ear. The voice you were once so desperate to hear. You still are but you can’t help but feel helpless.

This is the first time in a while you’ve felt this helpless.

You try to explain yourself to yourself first, tears covering your face while you start to pace around the room. He sees you close down further and go down a hole that would be highly damaging but he watches for a second, he watches the face you show no one else but the mirror.

Your small whispers and sobs fill the room this time as Cyril comes out of one of the rooms, the animal can see the tension is no longer there but it’s something much worse.

It’s heartbreak, the one thing Alfie has so desperately tried to save you from.

“I-” you start speaking but the words escape you. Alfie’s quick on his feet as he reaches for your small form in the other side of the room. He wraps his arms around you and you feel yourself get engulfed by his embrace.

He smells of vanilla and rum.

You’re lost in time at that second as his embrace is all you can feel, it’s all you want to feel. As you slowly calm down, your hands hug him back. His soothing whispers fill your ear and he’s soon to realise that you’re trying to deal with much more outside of this situation you have with him and this argument is the last drop.

You let him take control when he sits down on the large sofa you made him buy for his living room. He pulls you into his lap and gives you another engulfing hug. It makes your heart ache, that there had been no one before Alfie to care about you, let alone care about you the way Alfie did.

His lips meet your temple and hair every now and then, he plants gentle kisses and feels your breath calm down with every soothing whisper that leaves his mouth. You soon collect yourself, the shock of being seen by someone finds your little heart and sends a wave of fear through it.

To be truly seen by someone.

You lift yourself up from his lap but his hands catch you by your forearms. You stand up right in front of his seated figure. Even though he’s sitting, you can’t help but realise just how big he is compared to you, you dismiss the thought of him on bed like you’d seen him yesterday with a shake of your head and start speaking.

Your voice is not a whisper anymore. It’s the you he knows.

“I better leave.” you speak but he doesn’t understand. He knows you need to be taken care of, in every which way and he’s willing to do that.

But he also remembers the rule.

It’s the one thing you’d asked from him and from yourself, the game was played with two souls and you were also to blame. You’d blamed him for some time, for getting so carried away with everything but you were quick to follow his drunk in love steps.

You knew you were falling in love because it was something out of a dream for you. It was intense and painful, you dreaded the times you’d see the real truth behind his eyes, that he loved you back because then it would just be a tragedy. Your heart was okay being the one in love, you could work it out on your own but his silent pleas telling you to stay told you just what you needed to know.

That he was just as mesmerised by you.

“Alfie, listen-” your words cut through his whispers, telling you to stay but he stands up right in front of you and towers above you soon after the words leave your lips.

“No, luv, you fuckin’ listen.” he says right into the room, you can hear him loud and clear while he stands just centimetres away from you, holding you by your arms.

“This, yeah, ain’t somethin’ you can just throw in the fuckin’ garbage.” he says, the voice that used to feel like pure sin now just feels like glass cutting through your skin.

He’s right. You know he is.

This the thing your mother had warned you about before she disappeared into nothing. You know she’s in hell somewhere for the things she’d done, looking up at you and cursing for just how silly you’re being, giving your heart to this man.

“We said-” you speak, trying to reason with him and you try to lift your arms but his gentle grasp prevents you and he looks right into your eyes as he speaks.

He needs you to know.

“I know what we fuckin’ said, right, I was right there, luv and I remember it clearly.” he speaks, there’s a billion emotions swimming in his blue orbs while the afternoon sun hits him in a way that makes you think he’s out of this world. He feels like it.

“Too clear for my own fuckin’ good, yeah.” he says and lets go of your arms. You can see the conflict on his face, morphing with worry every now and then.

You don’t speak for a while but watch him fight with himself, the mighty Solomons is having a mental conflict right before your eyes. There’s not much to be said, you know that. It was the one rule in a very dangerous game you proposed and you both dismissed it, now you’re deep in a hole that can either be lethal or beautiful.

You speak your mind since nothing else makes sense as he stares right at you. Your voice is shaking again. “You know our love would be tragic.”

A few tears find the corners of your eyes, you don’t let go of them because he’s watching. You want him to think you’re stronger than you are but he already knows that you’re stronger than he’ll ever fucking be. You sigh and look at the walls after the words, a thousand sobs align at your throat but you’re not letting them go.

“Ya’ didn’t think I thought of that?” he speaks, walking towards you until he’s towering above you like he usually is and you look up at his saddened face.

“We were supposed to be hating each other.” you say while staring right at his chest since it’s at your eye-level.

He is the enemy.

He’s the person you were designed to hate. Your father had made you into a business machine that functioned well but he had forgotten one thing, that you thrived on danger. Alfie was exactly what he had told you to steer clear from and now, you knew why.

It doesn’t matter that your heart soars at the thought of the man before you nor does it make sense. You know nothing is enough to create an exception when it comes to enemies, it won’t count that you’re in love or that you crave him and him only.

It doesn’t matter that he makes you happy and that he makes you laugh. It doesn’t matter that Cyril already thinks of you as his mom and Alfie’s house is decorated with the things you bought him. It doesn’t matter that no morning is good if he’s not next to you.

Because he’ll always be the enemy.

“You’re th-” you speak but he mimics the way you cut him off and holds your chin up so your eyes meet his.

“The enemy. I know, luv.” he says and you feel his hot breath against your face.

You shake your head at his words, teary eyes meet his merciful ones and you feel your guard come down, little by little. You want to curse at your damn self for being weak at the sight of him, for bowing down at every little action of kindness this man has shown you.

“We don’t get to fall in love.” you shake your head at your own words as Alfie listens. He always listens. “You and I, this isn’t how things are supposed to be.” you speak once again, eyes closed as you try to make sense of things.

Before Alfie had jumped on a chance to be with you with no strings attached to the either of you, you’d done the proper calculation of outcomes the situation would bestow upon you.

There would be heartbreak and grief in most situations. You saw versions of you not getting attached to him, this would just sail smooth and when the deed was done, you and him would go your separate ways. There were other situations. You’d leave him for being a dick or he’d leave you for being a bitch.

But he had done none of the things you knew men to be capable of doing.

He hadn’t shouted, the only time he’d touched you was with gentle hands of a simple caress. He’s kissed you hello and goodbye and bought you flowers and baked goods. He’d showered you with affection and compliments and he’d let you in.

It didn’t matter how fucked up things were, he’d still let you in.

“Tell me how this is gonna work, right, and I’ll follow every fuckin’ rule.” he speaks against your face as you find yourself to be puzzled about the whole situation, the confusion is evident in your eyes.

“That hasn’t worked well before.” you speak and he chuckles feeling victory at the fact that you’re now looking more amused than sad. You watch the lines of worry transform into something else, something much more cheerful as his blue orbs stare at you.

You want it to consume you.

The nights filled with meaningless talk, the waking up together. You want to get lost in his touch and never let go. You want to wake up next to him and spend the day in bed. You know you’ll miss him, you’ll miss all of it.

The small touches and how he whispers your name into the night. You’ll miss the way he looks at you when he knows you’re in public and the way he manages to make your heart do multiple flips.

You know you can’t let go, not just yet.

So you curse yourself and all the mistakes you had done seem like a little one as you try to conjure up the courage to ask him one thing. It’s a mistake, you know that. You already know the man is in love and so are you even though he’s the one person you were supposed to steer clear form.

You’re to blame for the things that follow.

“Why don’t you stay the night..” a small pause follows “....so we can figure this out?”

----

Tagging: @clairecrive @parkbearum @sourirez @bicevans @mollybegger-blog @97freaknik. @fuseburner @kiaoizz

a/n: I think there will be another chapter? Let me know if you guys want another one and also what you thought of this one?

Stay safe and Happy Eid!❤︎

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fizzingwizard · 3 years

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blast from the past but i remember as a teenager that I never understood how Gilmore Girls season six ended. It’s funny how time clears things up, I feel like I get it now.

My dad always says Lorelai is flaky and that’s why. I don’t really agree. Bear with me. I think Lorelai is a control freak. Out of necessity, kinda. She lived in that household that constantly tried to control her, and getting out of it was her asserting her independence of their expectations. That meant she was a single mom starting with very little and working her way up to create a life of freedom for herself and her daughter.

The show itself is all about Lorelai struggling with giving bits of her control away. It begins with her giving some control of her relationship with her parents back to them when she needs to ask for money for Rory’s school. Then, of course, little by little, her control over Rory erodes as Rory gets older. (Not that Lorelai was a controlling parent - she valued freedom, not bossiness - but that’s just the parent-child dynamic: to some extent parents do control things because kids are still learning how to take care of and protect themselves. It certainly shouldn’t go farther than those basics and I don’t think it did for Lorelai - but she still felt it whenever Rory did something that was contrary to what Lorelai would have wanted. It’s also why “You sound like your mother” was a truly insulting barb to her lol)

In the meantime, she’s not only risen to being in charge of the inn, but she even goes and opens her own inn business with Sookie. Total independence. She dated Max, but balked when he wanted to know what his role would be in Rory’s life and realized she wasn’t ready to share control of their life with him. She dated Digger who to me always seemed the type way too set in his own ways for her, so I wasn’t sad to see him go. Finally she dated Luke, we all knew it would happen, but the question was always would these two very independent types be able to make it work any better than they had in the past? Because Luke’s also always gone his own way. The things both he and Lorelai had going for them was chemistry and similar values. And of course the show seemed to be rooting for them from season one :P

So while Lorelai and Luke are together, there are a number of control-related problems that crop up. We mainly see Luke give in to Lorelai. It’s never anything damaging - these are small things that are important to her, but still small, and he gives them to her out of love, not because she demands it. She does make concessions to him as well, but they’re mostly off screen (like the purple wallpaper thing). And the thing with the Twickum House... on the surface, it look like Lorelai crapped on Luke’s dream for the house because she selfishly wanted to keep her own, buuuuut he bought it without asking or telling her, and she has a right to not want to live there same as he has a right not to want to live in her place. Fortunately, he was cool with living in her place if it was expanded. So they did that. Look, a compromise!

So basically they get over every hurdle that could compromise their individual needs to feel in control of their lives... until April. April is Luke’s thing. It’s not his fault he didn’t know about her for twelve years and it’s to his credit that he wanted to be a part of her life after the fact. While I’m not super fond of season 7, I always felt it was weird that season 6 Luke never seemed angry that Anna didn’t tell him about April. It doesn’t seem like Anna had a reason to think he’d be violent or controlling of her or their child, she just thought he didn’t like kids much. That’s not a reason. People often don’t like other people’s kids but adore their own. Anyway.

Luke doesn’t want Lorelai involved with April because he’s the type to take his time with things. He needs his space. So he needs time and space to adjust to the concept of April and get to know her and feel confident of his own role as a father. He’s also a bit jealous of Lorelai’s easy rapport with people, especially young girls, but I think that’s minor in comparison to the other reasons. And Lorelai understands those things and lets him control how things go with April. Allowing him that control, though, means he’s also in control of other things: when they get married, for one, and what his relationship with Lorelai is. i think she has reason to be upset about how he didn’t make an effort to involve her in things with April (like, I definitely get that April’s mom was concerned about who was in April’s life but everyone else in the town got to meet April, there’s no reason Lorelai couldn’t have met her now and then as a townie rather than Luke’s fiancee, as long as Luke was physically there as well)

So I can see why Lorelai blew up after the wedding was postponed indefinitely (even though, if we’re talking real life, it hadn’t been all that long). She felt she’d finally found someone she felt comfortable sharing her life with, but then he started to need more patience and submission from her than she was comfortable giving. Up till then in her life, waiting for things just meant she waited while other people got what they want. To get what she wanted, she had to go take it, consequences be damned. So she takes the same route with Luke as she has with everything else in her life: she makes her own decision and lets him figure out how or if he wants to fit in with it, rather than the other way around.

In terms of whether she really needed to go that far at that point... It’s hard, rewatching it, not to feel like a sudden ultimatum in the street when you’re highly emotional is not the way to decide to break up with someone. She should have been willing to talk later, when he came back. I mean, he came back twice. But relationships are rarely about should haves. People aren’t perfect. Lorelai’s the type who rips the bandaid off fast because it may hurt more, but slow hurts longer. When she’s out, she’s out. And I think I get it in the sense that the two of them had, in canon, built up how serious their relationship was VERY fast - like from their first official date - and that comes with all kinds of expectations. The higher they climb the harder they fall. So, yeah, I think things could have been fixed the next day when Luke came back, but I do think it’s Lorelai-ish to not be willing to fix them.

There was a great bit of foreshadowing just prior where Liz and TJ have a fight and it’s due to Liz’s trauma scaring her away, and Luke is the one who goes to TJ, tells him it’s not his fault, but that in a relationship sometimes people can’t say how they really feel and that’s when you have to try to understand them out of love etc (something like that lol). He saw it clearly with Liz and TJ but wasn’t ready for it with Lorelai. Lorelai’s fear of commitment, the way she values her independence, her history with relationships gone sour, it all came to a head and Luke’s preference to take time to sort things out and decide how he feels couldn’t cope with it. It’s not that Luke was wrong. He’s entitled to be the type who needs time. But it’s not that Lorelai was wrong either. They weren’t wrong individually, but they were wrong together. It could have been avoided, but people aren’t perfect.

I still hate that they broke up and we had to spend season 7 with Christopher, but at least they got back together in the end. Season 7, man... The above is how I feel about season 6, but I think if I knew season 7 wouldn’t have the same producers, I’d never be on board with ending season 6 with such an explosion. No way could the season 7 team pick up from there without being absolutely ridiculous about it.

A Year in the Life picks up with Lorelai and Luke still together, living in her house, but not married. These days lots of people partner up but don’t get married and that’s fine - real commitment isn’t something that a piece of paper decides. But it was also kinda sad because I think every Gilmore Girls fan looked forward to Lorelai and Luke’s wedding. So I really enjoyed that AYITL dealt with that - and also dealt with the way Luke usually lets Lorelai decide various things, and that she becomes self-conscious about it, wondering if her strength of will has meant he had to give up things he wanted. He takes his time - he’s Luke, after all - but eventually he figures out how to tell her. He’s his own man. He’s independent. He lets her make decisions about things he’s okay with her making decisions on. If he really didn’t like her choice, he’d say something. Basically, you don’t have to worry about Luke. He’s strong enough for himself, and he’s strong enough for her. And vice versa. That’s why they’re a good couple. It’s when they give in to doubt that things get shaky. And then we finally got our very pretty wedding. I loved that scene and I loved the song that played (which was also used in Liz and TJ’s wedding, I believe).

Emily, of course, is just as much a control freak as her daughter even if she doesn’t realize it, but I loved how in AYITL, the way she asserts her herself is no longer in the context of the role she feels she needs to play and becomes about choosing what her path will be. She’s as “eccentric” as Lorelai, if eccentric means being yourself and doing what makes you happy. *eye roll* That’s why I don’t agree with my dad that Lorelai is flaky... I do see where it comes from but I always just thought she’s not bound by what other people think she should be. That’s hardly eccentric, it’s just strong.

And I wish we had some sort of follow up for the last four lines... I’d read a Gilmore Girls novel as a sequel if the show can’t come back again.

#gilmore girls #loooong

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hp-crossgenfest · 4 years

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2020 HP Cross Gen Fest Anonymous Masterlist

Here is the complete Anonymous Masterlist for the 2020 @hp-crossgenfest! Reveals will be going up in a few days on Friday, August 28, so you've still got some time to make your way through any entries you might have missed. Don't forget to leave some love for the wonderful authors and artists! <3

ART

absolution [Aberforth/Severus | Mature] Snape is released after a couple of years in Azkaban; the terms of his parole include apologizing in person to Albus Dumbledore’s brother. His stoicism falls apart in the face of Aberforth’s forgiveness.

A Portrait with Someone New [Luna/Remus | Teen] Luna and Remus happily expecting (in 2004).

Extra Credit [Hermione/Teddy | Explicit] Teddy has trouble concentrating in Prof. Granger-Weasley's class. However will he manage to make up the extra credit?

A day in the sun [Harry/Severus | General] Severus has been turned into a merman without his consent. Harry still accepts them and helps them reconcile the change, see its benefits, and get some of their own back.

One Bright Day [Amelia/Tonks | General] Amelia and Tonks meeting under an umbrella and a rainbow.

What Lily Knew [Draco/Lily Luna | General] Draco and Lily attend the same adult art class, but it isn't until he sees her finished piece that he understands what Lily knew all along.

FIC

Talk to Me [Harry/Severus | Explicit] Sentenced to serve his time in Azkaban after the Battle of Hogwarts, Snape is startled out of his depression by the inevitable fights during Potter's frequent visits. What will he say to the man when he is free to walk out into the Wizarding World and speak his mind?

Everything he's ever wanted [Harry/Teddy | Explicit] Teddy had hoped that a few years in Australia would be enough to cure him of his feelings for Harry, but when he returns home and gets some unexpected news, he can't stop the feelings rushing back. The only difference is, this time he might actually have a chance.

The Apprenticeship [Draco/Lily Luna | Explicit] Prompt: Draco always gets what he wants. Even if he has to take it by force.

Battleline [Draco/James Sirius | Explicit] The wizarding world believes James Sirius Potter works for his uncle as a Curse-Breaker, but the truth is that he's one of the Auror Department's most effective undercover agents. After months of waiting he's finally got a new case, but this assignment involves him going in as himself, without the disguises he's come to rely on. More importantly, he's meant to be taking down the one person long-suspected of being the most influential wizard in Britain's criminal underworld: Draco Malfoy.

Truth from Dare [Harry/Scorpius | Teen] During a late night game of Truth or Dare after a fun Saturday out with Albus, Rose, and their friends, Scorpius finds himself being kissed by Harry Potter as a dare. But it's just a game, right?

we who walk in shadows black [Harry/Lord Voldemort | Mature] In which Harry Potter is a vicious little gremlin who knows too much, and Lord Voldemort adores him for it.

Advanced Lunacy [Harry/Severus | Mature] Luna accidentally discovers something, and now the whole Wizarding World is abuzz about it. Meanwhile, Snape keeps appearing in Harry's dreams frequently.

There's No Such Thing as Getting Out of Hand [Narcissa/Pansy | Explicit] When Narcissa Malfoy finds herself confronted with a tempting treat all grown up, will she quash her appetite or sink her teeth in?

The Most Expensive Date [Harry/Scorpius | Explicit] Harry just wanted a quiet evening at home, instead he is being auctioned off at a charity event like a piece of meat. Prepared to have a terrible night, Harry is incredibly relieved when the highest bidder turns out to be none other than Scorpius Malfoy—a nice boy who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive... right?

the gentleness that comes [Harry/Severus | Explicit] There's something bothering Severus, and Harry wants to help. It's easier for Severus to let go when he's exploring his submissive side, so Harry plans a weekend to show him just how loved he is, and how much Harry wants to care for him.

A Technicality [Hermione/Rabastan/Regulus | General] A ritual to cleanse Hermione's new house has unexpected consequences.

a little bit of grit [Draco/Severus | Mature] Draco is a contract potioneer who specialises in medical research. Severus is... not dead, for one.

Vacanze Romane [Harry/Scorpius | Explicit] When he let Scorpius help plan his vacation, Harry had no idea just how involved he would be.

Her Pleasure [Draco/Lily Luna & Harry/Narcissa | Explicit] He likes to please his woman.

no wrong answers [Harry/Remus/Sirius | Explicit] It's almost five years since the war ended, and after an intense bout of aimless wandering and travel, Harry's come back home and is living at Grimmauld Place with Remus and Sirius. Their relationship fills him up with warmth - they deserve to be happy, and it's obvious that he wants what they have. But maybe, just maybe, Harry wants more than a relationship like the one Remus and Sirius have. Maybe he wants that relationship. Maybe he wants them.

Gouge Away [Millicent/Victoire | Teen] The Weasley girl has developed a keen fascination with Millicent's woodworking shop. Millicent can't seem to get rid of her, no matter how hard she tries.

Late One Night [Hermione/Kingsley | Explicit] Late one night, Hermione finally makes her move.

Hyperion [Harry/Scorpius | General] Scorpius is a Veela and Harry is his mate.

Summer Rain [Harry/Regulus | Explicit] A rainy day gives Harry the perfect opportunity to seduce Regulus.

Summer Heat [Lily Luna/Luna | Explicit] A unexpected visit from Lily's godmother makes a boring summer weekend suddenly a lot less boring.

On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells [Harry/Severus | Explicit] Divorced, single, and free, Harry lives a completely unapologetic life in Paris. Between casual hook-ups and an easy, comfortable job, he likes to think he is as close to happiness as he'll ever be. And when he gets offered a teaching job at the prestigious Académie Beauxbâtons, he thinks he may have found exactly what was missing. But Harry is thoroughly unprepared for what he finds there - a familiar face that's been haunting his dreams for six years.

Save Me From Her Stone-Cold Gaze [Harry/Tom Riddle | General] Tom Riddle has spent years looking for the Chamber of Secrets, and he's glad he can finally purge the school of Mudbloods. At least, that was the plan. It turns out the basilisk wasn't happy to be controlled, and Tom is forced to make a deal with the Master of Death (and maybe fall in love with him).

break on me like light [Charlie/Sirius | Mature] When the Order brings Sirius Black to Charlie, the man is still covered in the grime of Azkaban. A story wherein Sirius is still a little broken, calls Charlie kid, and Charlie is far too sweet.

Fire for You [Harry/Scorpius | Explicit] Nothing can make them keep their hands off each other.

Waving Through A Window, Suddenly [Harry/Severus | Explicit] Severus Snape was alive and free and perfectly satisfied with his life. He stayed away from other people and he did what he wanted. And if he felt like he was looking through a window at everyone else, that was alright, because he didn't need them anyway. Until Harry Potter moved in across the street, that is. Suddenly, just looking through the window wasn't enough for Severus anymore.

Trying not to think [Hermione/Teddy | Explicit] She couldn't even remember the last time her and Ron had left the lights on during sex, let alone the last time he’d complimented her, so watching Teddy struggle to keep his hands to his side while she stepped out of her dress was quite the ego boost.

Puddlemere’s New Man [Oliver/Teddy | Explicit] Teddy is willing to put in the work. He’s willing to practice twice as hard as anyone else, except that no one can out-work Oliver — a fact that Teddy finds he doesn’t mind in the least.

Maybe I'm Amazed [Albus Severus/Draco | Explicit] Albus Potter never set out to fall in love with Draco Malfoy. A small story telling how Albus and Draco came to be married. On their wedding night they dance, talk and make love.

Learning to Fly [Harry/Severus | Mature] Post-war, Severus is found not guilty, but due to the stigma in the Wizarding world, he decides to live life as a Muggle, leaving everything (but his wand) behind. Harry is overwhelmed, barely having any time to grieve, he keeps being recognised in the street and strangers ask too much of him. He finds solace in the Muggle world, finally exploring who he is without the threat of death, he finds himself in a Muggle kink club watching Severus Snape tying up a young man, and he wants.

Best Man [Harry/Scorpius | Mature] In the years since his divorce from Ginny, Harry Potter hasn't cared much for dating, let alone had feelings for anyone strong enough to pursue. Now that his son's wedding is on the horizon, the Best Man, Scorpius Malfoy, has been spending extra time getting input from the Father of the Groom. And Harry finds he doesn't mind Scorpius' constant company one bit.

The Ache For Love Was Palpable [Lily/Minerva | Mature] Lily once had a crush no one ever knew about. She thought it was just a schoolgirl pash on a favorite professor, but working for the Order throws her and McGonagall constantly together. Even though she's a married woman now, Lily's feelings for Minerva come back in a rush, even stronger than before. "I didn't know then what I wanted, but the ache for it was palpable." - Sue Monk Kidd, The Mermaid Chair

Fields of Strawberries [Harry/Remus | Explicit] As much as Remus has done for Harry over the years, this is the least he could do. Little did Harry know what he would discover about himself when he volunteered to marry Remus so he could keep custody of his infant son Teddy.

Writing Harry [Harry/Severus | Explicit] After the war, Harry Potter begins writing letters to Severus.

#scarry #snarry #dralbus #drames #cross gen #hpcrossgenfest #hp femslash #hp crossgenfest #harry potter cross gen #hp cross gen #mod post #2020 fest #anon masterlist

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pixelgrotto · 3 years

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Night City, I barely remember ya

I beat Cyberpunk 2077 last month, and honestly, I haven’t thought about Cyberpunk 2077 that much since.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. CD Projekt Red’s follow-up to The Witcher 3 was meant to be the sort of game that would stick in your mind after completion. It was promoted over eight years of hype stemming from its initial 2013 reveal as a example of CD Projekt’s infamous “vodka and Slavic magic” - a behemoth destined to change open world RPGs forever. But in the roughly 12 weeks since its release, the stuff that’s happened to Cyberpunk 2077, including its delisting from the Playstation store for being chock full of bugs and the theft of its source code by hackers, has been more cyberpunk than the actual game.

I was one of those people super hyped for this game when it was first announced. I mean, the Witcher franchise left an indelible impression on me; how could I not be psyched to see its devs tackle one of my favorite sci-fi genres? But my hype deflated over the years, largely due to tales of terrible crunch emerging from CD Projekt’s studios and social media marketing that was ill-advised at best and transphobic at worst. Everything seemed to slowly hint that the game’s vision of “cyberpunk” - a genre that can tell incredible futuristic tales of social upheaval and marginalized peoples - would be mostly style with not so much substance.

Despite me keeping my fingers crossed, the end product is pretty much what I feared - and I guess I should’ve known, since the official sourcebook for Cyberpunk 2020, the tabletop RPG that CD Projekt Red used as inspiration, actually lists “style over substance” as one of its rules.

Cyberpunk 2077’s main story revolves around a merc who dreams of big time heists in Night City named V. After a heist goes south, V ends up absorbing a biochip made by big bad corporation Arasaka that features the captured personality of rockstar-turned-terrorist Johnny Silverhand, played by Keanu Reeves - who, to be fair, does a good job with the material he’s given. Cue a bunch of quests that revolve around V and Johnny coming to terms with each other, taking down Arasaka and figuring out how to separate the chip from V’s brain.

In theory, this sounds like a cool way to explore the very cyberpunk themes of identity and what it means to have a corrupt company preserve a human soul beyond its organic shell. In reality, though, the story’s a surface level examination of these concepts, and Johnny Silverhand remains a massive dick throughout most of the game, only becoming relatable if players give him the benefit of the doubt - which they’re expected to do because he’s played by Keanu Reeves.

Johnny’s animosity towards Arasaka is also never completely outlined. He - and most other characters in Night City - keep telling V that corporations are awful because they disregard human rights and destroy the environment, but we never get many chances to see for ourselves how Arasaka and similar companies, like Militech or Kang Tao, actually do this. Arasaka does kidnap Johnny’s ex-girlfriend and is behind the tech that transfers his soul to a biochip, yes, but Johnny also threatens to destroy them at all of his shows and eventually sets off a bomb in their headquarters. Not that I’m siding with the corporation, but for much of the game we’re expected to treat them as the number one enemy simply because other characters say so, which is very much a “show, don’t tell” missed opportunity. If anything, Arasaka’s portrayal feels more like a vestige of the cyberpunk genre’s unfortunate maturation during the 1980s, where the fear of Japanese conglomerates taking over the world was common and a future where Asian companies were all-powerful instead of Western ones seemed like a dystopia.

Cyberpunk 2077 is very much caught in that yesteryear mold, featuring elements that might have been progressive in the 1980s but seem passé now. For a game that relied on questionable representation of trans people in its marketing, there were no notable trans NPCs that I came across, and even though there’s a robust character creation system where you actually can make a trans person, the game makes the troubling decision to only offer binary pronouns tied to V’s voice. Despite the fact that many of the best modern cyperbunk works deal with body augmentation and the line between man and machine, most of the physical modifications you can pay for at Night City’s “ripperdoc” facilities are niche features that only offer minimal stat boosts, with only two major ones that I know of - the mantis blades and gorilla arms - actually causing extensive changes to V’s looks. And finally, while there are tons of characters of color in the game, ranging from the Haitian Voodoo Boys gang to V’s “friendly ethnic friend™” Jackie Welles, most of them are varying degrees of stereotypical. For instance, Goro Takemura, an ex-Arasaka employee, sends you text messages reminiscent of haiku at one point because he’s Japanese and has to talk like a formal, honorable samurai or something.

If you’re able to look past these issues - along with the myriad of bugs that Cyberpunk 2077 shipped with - there’s still the niggling feeling that this game could have been so much more. The signs of a troubled development process are numerous, and there are Reddit threads packed with still-visible remnants - like useless combat skill perks and an entire metro system - that were part of gameplay elements gutted at some point in order for those overworked CD Projekt Red programmers to make a long-delayed release date. Even mainstay stuff in the open world genre - like the police chases common in the Grand Theft Autos - are absent, and Cyberpunk 2077’s 2018 demo, chock full of promised features that never made it into the final product, has to be one of the most notorious bits of smoke ‘n mirrors “gameplay” in recent memory.

Perhaps most bothersome is the feeling that a lot of your choices don’t seem to matter all that much in Cyberpunk 2077, which once touted itself as “a full-fledged RPG, not a shooter with RPG elements,” but ends up feeling more like the latter than the former. The game’s three different lifepaths - nomad, streetkid and corpo - only amount to about thirty minutes of unique playtime at the start and a few different dialogue options. The vehicle combat sequences that punctuate key missions are largely scripted, looking cool but offering little consequences depending on what V aims at. The side quests I encountered had minimal branching paths, and the only time the main story opened up to offer some real choice was in the game’s final chapter. Considering that CD Projekt once developed The Witcher 2 - a 2011 game that branches dramatically at its halfway mark to the point where a lot of folks insist that you need to play it twice in order to feel satisfied - Cyberpunk 2077 feels like a step back.

And yet, despite all of these criticisms, I still put nearly 80 hours into the game over the course of December, January and February. You don’t do that for something that’s patently unfun, so let me be clear - there is an entertaining experience buried beneath an avalanche of unfulfilled potential here. Driving on my Akira-esque bike through Night City’s slums as the game’s best song bumped on the radio, taking out legions of baddies with my mantis blades and relishing in the game’s extensive photo mode (as you can probably tell by my screenshots above) was a good time. In spite of his assholery, I did feel something akin to attachment for that bastard Johnny Silverhand by the finale, and there were a few key moments - like when I was scuba diving in the ocean with my girlfriend Judy, looking at the remains of a town destroyed by the land seizing machinations of corporations - that felt like this game had something to say beyond “bang bang gunplay and neon aesthetic.”

But at the end of the day, while I do feel moderately interested in someday checking out Cyberpunk Red (the newest iteration of this franchise’s tabletop RPG), CD Projekt’s seven-year-hyped-up behemoth has largely faded from my brain one month after beating it. On Twitter, I’ve seen Cyberpunk 2077 described as something akin to a flashy Netflix series with lots of fanfare and flair but not much else - and I can’t really argue with that statement.

Night City was supposed to be the stuff of a long-term relationship. Instead, it feels more like a fling.

#pixel grotto #now playing #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk #cd projekt red

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