allisoooon

[allisoooon]

Noticed you've not been around for a bit. Hope you're just busy with life stuff and are okay.

I'm fine! Just haven't been hyperfixated on TUA these days. Still love the show and characters, but I'm taking a break after burning myself out churning out fic.

#ask answered

[allisoooon]

Things were all weird now. That was the scientific term, in Klaus’ estimation. Five would be proud.

Klaus had expected Allison, of all people, would have jumped at the chance to replace her crappy old family with a new one, but she hadn’t reacted well when he called her ‘sister.’

Diego, who Klaus would have thought would reject the idea because he already had a family and totally wasn’t replacing his dead brother, was the one who was actually starting to act like he gave a shit about everyone else.

Five had said, “Well, that explains that,” and hadn’t acknowledged it since.

Viktor hadn’t said anything about it. He’d smiled Very Patiently when Klaus tried to “joke” about it with him.

Luther was less awkward, but only because he was no longer hiding his relationship with Sloane. After the Very Patient Smile incident, Klaus had figured it out enough not to try bringing “it” up with Luther. Luther was great and all, but Klaus wasn’t up for finding out every sibling-in-another-life he had would trade him in for a better model.

And everyone—every last one of them—had told him, multiple times, all about how he wasn’t allowed to tell Ben. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he wasn’t a trusted member of this not-a-family.

@theseancequeen and… I need more friends

Can’t Post Tuesday

Because AO3 has been down all day, let’s play a game. Show me a snippet from your WIP (fic or art or mash potato sculpture) and tag six of your favourite creators from any fandom. If they make disgusting smuts and other LGBTQ+ and NSFW things, all the better. Go, go, go!

Tagging a few peeps to get the ball rolling: @super-unpredictable98 @seanfalco @badsext @merrilark @allisoooon @darbydoo22 @firstpersonnarrator @pepperf @lochrannn @kaufmann-6 @booksasfurniture @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @anglophile-rin @autie-hobbit @mokolat

#tua fic #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #doing this on mobile is kind of a pain

[allisoooon]

Dead Sexy 💀😵🪦❤️

An Umbrella Academy AU feat. Pathologist!Dave + MorgueRegular!Klaus

A/N: This was supposed to be a one-shot but it already appears to be growing arms and legs so… here you go. Subscribe for more. More is coming.

CW: Repeated, temporary character death. Like, this fucker just won’t stay dead. Also, morgue stuff. Probably not for the faint of heart or delicate of stomach.

Inspired by @kawaiic0mmunism, to whom this is dedicated - for giving me brain rot. Thanks as always to @allisoooon for tolerating me.

Summary: Dave is a pathologist working at the city morgue. And Klaus… well, Klaus just keeps turning up.

Snippet:

“Mnnnnrgh!” the man groans, rolling onto his side. “Five more minutes. I was having the most amazing sex dream.”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

Dave leaps away from the rack on which the man’s body is stretched - the man who just a moment ago Dave was quite sure was 100 per cent dead but who apparently is very much alive. He crashes into a nearby filing cabinet, sending a wide arc of coffee all over his white lab coat and sensible shirt while screaming, “WHAT THE FUCK!”

The man blinks his eyes open now. He props himself up onto one elbow and takes a look around, taking in the startled pathologist with his back pressed against the filing cabinet, the splashed coffee on the lino, the fluorescent lights of the basement mortuary, the open cooler next to him containing a body bag, and then finally the identical black bag half-wrapped around his own body.

“Ah, shit. It happened again.”

The guy sighs a weary sigh and sits up to get a better look at his surroundings, rubbing a hand through his curls and smacking his lips together. He seems far too relaxed about waking up in the morgue, which is in direct contrast to Dave, who is still struggling to come to terms with what he’s seeing.

“You-you-you… YOU’RE DEAD!”

The guy gestures at himself, fanning his hands up and down his body. “Well, clearly not.”

“But you-you were! You were dead!”

The guy rolls his eyes and swings his legs over the side of the rack, still encased in the body bag. “Yeah, kind of an occupational hazard.”

Read the rest on AO3

Tagging because I crave attention: @badsext @yeah-klave @softforklave @anglophile-rin @falloutby @merry-melody @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @super-unpredictable98 @wcrmboy @spookyfbi @squishitude @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @love-is-dirty-baby @jender123 @vonkimmeren @narnianaos @sylvertyger @merrilark @faceache111 @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @thislovelylife @falafel14

[allisoooon]

Chained ⛓️ NEW CHAPTER

A Klaus Hargreeves murder mystery

A/N: Greetings, mystery fans! This chapter is a lot longer than previous chapters because it’s a pretty important one plot-wise. I hope the wait was worth it. Oh, by the way, did I mention Allison turns up in this fic? 🫢😮

We are so close to the end now I can almost taste it. Please share your thoughts, feelings and theories in the comments! 💚💚

Special thanks to @allisoooon for the highly sexual textual art - I love it (and you) so much!

CW: Drug abuse and other typical Klaus stuff

Snippet from Chapter 29: Family

“Hi, sis!” Klaus tries, giving her a little finger wave which he hopes comes across as cute and endearing.

Allison says nothing, continuing to stare at him. It’s a powerful tactic.

“Okay, I know what you’re thinking. And I’m sorry, okay? For whatever it is you’re still mad about.”

“You know the fact that there’s more than one possible option of things to be mad about isn’t a good sign, right?”

Klaus lets out an exasperated sigh. She was never going to make this easy. “All right, all right. I’m sorry about the car. And the curtains. And the time I let your dog get run over by that motorbike. And the magazine…”

Allison cuts him off. Her jaw appears to harden even more. “You told them my hair comes from Russian corpses.”

“It doesn’t?” Klaus asks with a blink.

Allison purses her lips together. “No.”

So that’s the thing she’s still mad about. At least they’re making progress.

“Gee, Allison, come on…”

“You also told them I’d had work done,” she spits.

“Well, I didn’t think they’d believe me! You’re so naturally pretty, everyone knows that.”

That last comment elicits the slightest flutter of her eyelashes - almost imperceptible. But it’s a sign that Klaus is wearing her down, chipping away at her defenses. If there’s one thing Allison can’t resist, it’s a compliment.

He takes a step forward. “Look, I’m sorry, sis. It was a stupid, selfish thing to do. But I was broke and I needed the money. If you let me in, I promise I’ll make it up to you. And I won’t break any of your antique furniture or steal any of your fancy knick-knacks, I swear.”

“And..?”

Klaus gives her a reluctant nod. “And I won’t put magic mushrooms in the punch bowl. Scout’s honour,” he adds with a salute. He takes another step towards her, closing the distance and offering his arms out. “Come on, I’ve missed you, sis.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she admits, if somewhat begrudgingly. Allison releases her pout and shrugs her arms out in his direction, bringing him in for a half-hearted hug.

He squeezes her and he feels her shoulders give in to his embrace, the last of her prickliness melting away.

“You better behave or I’ll rumour your head down the toilet.”

“I know,” says Klaus, squeezing her a little harder.

READ THE REST ON AO3

Reblogs feed the writer: @badsext @softforklave @anglophile-rin @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @allisoooon @cemeteryklaus @super-unpredictable98 @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @inspiremeandsetmefree @jender123 @vonkimmeren @sylvertyger @merrilark @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @squishitude @thislovelylife

[allisoooon]

@lgbtqcreators meme: [2/10] lgbtq+ characters / insp ━ VIKTOR HARGREEVES

[allisoooon]

Fic update update

For now, I’m removing the Wednesday update schedule.  For a good long while, having a deadline helped me stay motivated to write, but lately, it’s done the opposite, making it feel more like a job.  I’m still definitely updating, but it’ll happen at my own pace.  Missing last week and not having that pressure gave me a sudden burst of inspiration for WYGRT, so that’s going to be my new strategy.  ADHD is so fucking weird, y’all.  Something works until it doesn’t.

#tua fic

[allisoooon]

tua dynamics [4/?] -> klaus hargreeves

[allisoooon]

Luther paused for a moment to scarf down a few forkfuls of eggs.  He swallowed most of it before speaking again.  “Sloane found information she hasn’t told anyone except me.  If her family finds out she’s hiding actual information from them, they’ll pitch a fit.”

“What did she tell you?” Diego asked automatically.

Luther hesitated.  Diego clutched his fork.

“Luther.  I have a right to know.  Who am I?”

Luther released a deep sigh, as if exhaling all his will to fight.  “Originally?  You were Number Two.”

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua fic #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves

[allisoooon]

Awwww 🎈

[allisoooon]

The Vine Intervention

🍷🍇 A Klaus Hargreeves story? 🍇🍷

A/N: This little fic was written for the @tua-masked-author Mermay 2023. Thanks to @non-plutonian-druid @kawaiic0mmunism and @littlerit for putting on such a great event and well done to all the writers and artists for your submissions. I’m pretty sure everyone knew this was me - apparently the Robert Sheehan quote gave me away (curses!) It was great fun to take part though and writing this very silly, cracky AU one-shot helped to shake off the cobwebs. 😘😘

CW: None. Unless you’re religious, in which case probably loads. Don’t @ me.

Words: 1,700

SNIPPET: The other vineyard owners in the area hate him and Klaus knows it. It’s a common point of gossip that Klaus’ grapes are all riddled with disease and his irrigation system has long since corroded from lack of maintenance.

And yet, somehow, year after year, Paradise Springs produces some of - if not the - finest non-vintage wine on the planet. The critics rave about it on their blogs. Sommeliers around the world insist on including it on their menus.

They compare him to Martin of Tours, the patron saint of winemakers, the man said to have spread viticulture throughout the Loire Valley during the fourth century.

Of course, little do they know, that was him then too.

Read the rest on AO3

Reblog to give the author tender headpats: @badsext @softforklave @anglophile-rin @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @allisoooon @cemeteryklaus @super-unpredictable98 @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @rina-cydonia @inspiremeandsetmefree @jender123 @vonkimmeren @sylvertyger @merrilark @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @squishitude @falafel14

[allisoooon]

20150309

Day 9.

I have started this personal log to document the process of this study.  It is now officially day 9, and thus far, there have been the following complications:

-Competition for time by a simultaneous project. -A and K stopped making everyone breakfast after the first morning. -D is convinced L is “up to something” and won’t stop muttering to me about it. -The bourbon-in-coffee experiment lost me almost an entire day. -V is making measurable progress, but only in millimeters at a time.

On the plus side, inspectors came in and discovered the conservatory has termites.  I am getting my rent and deposit refunded in exchange for not suing the landlord over the mischaracterization of this place as safe for human habitation.

As usual, thank you to my beta, @salvador-daley​.

#tua #tua fic #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #ben hargreeves

[allisoooon]

Thoughts on fanfic where five goes to school or has to be a “kid” to keep cps from taking him?

Or fics where Allison is a bit rude, a bit self centered, but that’s before S1/S2/S3?

High School Five fics aren't really my thing, but if you enjoy, more power to ya. I don't think realistically he would allow it to happen. He would never set foot in a high school, and if he can outmaneuver Hazel and Cha-cha, evading CPS is nothing. But Rule of Funny (or Rule of Drama, or what have you) will always supersede. Which isn't a bad thing.

Fics where Allison is a bit rude and self-centered at any point in her life are like...I mean, I'd just call that a TUA fic where Allison is IC. Or...being a person. But Allison in particular is used to getting her way, and I can't imagine the self-control it would take to go a full year being able to speak, while basically living in a war zone trying to make a happy life for yourself, without using your built-in cheat code when you have one.

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua meta #ask answered #allison hargreeves #five hargreeves

[allisoooon]

Hey there's a slight typo in chapter 12 of 'Where you gonna run to?' Ben is meant to say 'We'll figure it out' (based on his chapter 13 memory) but it says 'Well figure it out' which sounds like he's telling Klaus to figure it out. Just thought you'd like to know since it kind of changes the tone of the interaction

I am delighted you noticed. This was deliberate—Klaus isn’t seeing the interaction the same way as Ben, and indeed feels so alone in the world that he thought Ben said “Well, figure it out” and not “We’ll figure it out.” That Klaus could show how much of a mess he is and have someone want to help him when everyone else has written him off? That’s not at all something he is prepared to believe. And Ben is pretty shocked he said it, too. So yes, Klaus just misheard.

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #ask answered #ben hargreeves #tua fic

[allisoooon]

I always wanted to ask. Do you like hate Viktor or? I’m a bit confused since his entire life has just been trauma after trauma but it kinda feels like people don’t care? I kinda just want your thoughts on his story (both before S1, Aka when he was a kid and like S1 to S3?) like, what constitutes as a victim mentality when he’s just constantly being tortured? Is it his fault his powers are dangerous? Or is it his fault that he had a panic attack and basically went haywire? /Gen

Ooooh, this is an interesting question. This is going to be a long answer.

So no, I absolutely don't hate Viktor. Actually, what I love about him is that he has a dark side like everyone else. It's what makes him compelling. Emotionally, he's a deeply traumatized human being. By nature, he's gentle and has a strong sense of justice. Take a character like that and give him a tendency to kill people when he loses control of his emotions, and you've got yourself some A+ internal conflict. That doesn't work if he has no agency in the things he does.

When I refer to a victim mentality, I'm not making a claim that he's not a victim--I'm referring to the fact that he's forgotten that he's not only a victim. Indeed, to some degree, he started out the series having forgotten that people who hurt him can also be victims. To take it further, other people can be his victims. That's just a fact of life about being a human being. It's certainly not his fault that his powers are dangerous, but I don't think it's as simple as him "going haywire." I don't think he's having a panic attack when he ends the world. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he did the entire thing while dissociated. That's kinda what it looks like to me.

Now, dissociation is gonna be different for everyone, and I'm not sure if this is how it was intended, but to me, it doesn't feel like I've lost control of myself. To the contrary, I get very intense and goal-oriented when I dissociate. Viktor's sense of reality seems to be distorted, to the point where he is doing a lot of shit he would not have done the day before or the day after, so I would not be the least bit surprised if he was experiencing derealization. If you don't know what that's like...well, you do. If you've had a dream, you know exactly what derealization feels like. It literally feels like a dream. Now I want to be clear it feels like a dream. You are still in possession of all your mental faculties. Unless something else is confusing you, like if you just woke up or were falling asleep, you probably don't literally think you're dreaming? But that's just my experience. I tend to dissociate before and after a really bad panic attack, and as shitty an experience as it is, it's not part of a panic attack so much as it is protecting me from my panic attack. That's the mechanism, anyway. It ends up feeling like something I need protection from.

Derealization doesn't make you do things, but it does impair your judgment in my experience. When things don't feel real, it doesn't feel like there will be consequences to your actions. But, like with being drunk, you're not going to just randomly do shit you would never do otherwise. Like with being drunk, it's not an excuse for doing horrible shit. And while my memory and focus both suck when I'm dissociated, it suuuuper does not feel like being drunk. My ability to reason and logic is still there. My emotions are going haywire, but I'm not being destructive because I'm not a destructive person. Again, I don't have like, the definitive experience here, but it's the only experience I've got to talk about.

Is Viktor a destructive person when he's not losing it? When calm, and confident, under specific circumstances, he can be. He can be very frightening, and use it for the forces of good. Look at his conversation with Marcus. Do you think he was bluffing? I don't. And I think that's super cool, that he recognizes this side of himself now, but knows it doesn't have to be bad, or uncontrolled, or any of the things he feared it would be at the end of s2. He can listen to his emotions, take that sense of justice, and protect people.

A lot of this goes for Allison, too, btw. She was deeply emotionally compromised this entire season, but her actions were her own. None of the Hargreeveses have good emotion regulation (no, not even Five). Viktor's regulation is the worst because his emotions were chemically dampened his entire life. But being dysregulated does not mean you lose control of your actions, or your sense of right and wrong. When you're angry enough, you know it's wrong to say certain things or do certain things, but you're so angry, you stop caring that it's wrong. When you calm down, you feel awful.

Like Five explained to Viktor this season, that is the consequence of them having power. When they make mistakes, when they permit themselves the same moral indulgences other people get to have (like losing one's temper and yelling something one doesn't mean), people lose their lives for it. And because Viktor is very powerful, him lashing out the way normal people do every day winds up getting a lot of people killed. It's not that he's so evil, he destroyed the world. He had a couple of very, very bad days, and instead of screaming obscenities at the taxi driver who honked at him, he flung the entire taxi two blocks and presumably killed the guy. And if it didn't feel real to him at the time because he was dissociated, I would not be at all surprised. But that goes to show that a normal psychological mechanism in someone with powers still has vastly different consequences from what it has in a normal person. It's not that he's gotten correspondingly more evil, just that he pays for his mistakes differently than a non-powered person does.

And that's a hard, hard lesson to someone who dreamed of having superpowers all his life but also cried when his siblings stepped on ants.

#tua meta #tua #the umbrella academy #viktor hargreeves #ask answered

[allisoooon]

spooky sunshine sad boy <3

[allisoooon]

tua dynamics [3/?] -> allison hargreeves

[allisoooon]

I support women’s wrongs 👠🍣