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shorkbrian · 3 years

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Creep

Prelude - bitch hold on what about mean brother Shigs being an absolute creep? Inspired by me playing a boss in AC Odyssey and my controller vibrated so hard I almost dropped it, and I couldn’t beat this dude and it was so freaking frustrating!!!!!!

Pairing - Shigaraki X Reader

Warnings - - INCEST, NSFW, innocence kink, do not read if those squick you out bro!!! Seriously! abuse of trust, dubcon, noncon, literally nothing about this situation is good, or healthy, or nice. Disgusting behavior is exhibited by Shigs.

Music - (does anyone actually like when I provide music? I like getting music vibes while I read through fics but ik that my music taste is a bit wacky lol anyways). https://open.spotify.com/track/0ODyahnUlK9G5bT4dA5NCI?si=10R9ggoJS1inYidrMeWrHA

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He offers to let you play his Xbox game, you keep annoying him by pouting for his attention and he gives up with trying to ignore you.

Stipulation - you gotta sit on his lap while you play, you’re such a stupid little girl that he forces his hands over yours, showing you how to use the Xbox controller while sneering at how dumb you are.

You’re too focused on the game to pay attention to how one of his hands has dropped from the controller, is creeping up your thigh, thumbing at the hem of your shorts. You don't realize that he’s plastered against your back, breath picking up in your ear as he hunches over your shoulder, thinking of all the dirty things he wants to do to you, how you’re too absent-minded to realize how much of a perverted creep he is.

“Shit!” You curse, breaking Shigaraki out of his thoughts as you bounce your leg in frustration. He feels the slight vibration of the controller - you’re getting attacked in the game, enemies surrounding you and hacking at your player. Shigaraki is too entranced by how he can watch your jiggling breasts over your shoulder, jostling around as you jerk your arms, trying to not die in the game.

“Nii-san help me, ‘m gonna die!” You shriek, whole body getting into the gaming experience, jerking around in his lap as you struggle to press the right buttons. Shigaraki tries not to groan - he can feel the space between your thighs as you move around, hot and doughy and he wants to touch so bad.

Yeah, he’s always been a bit of a creep, but he’s never actually done anything to you.

The most he does is fantasize, thinking about how you’d feel clamping down on him, how’d you’d taste if he made you ride his face. What you’d look like if he forced his cock into you with barely any prep - you’d squeeze your eyes shut so tight, let out little whimpers and clench your fists because “Hurts, hurts! Go slow Nii-san, don’t want this!”

But he wouldn’t have to listen, you’re just a naive little girl who doesn’t know that Shigaraki would be trying to make you feel good too, that it would feel good soon.

“Stop wiggling, you’re gonna fall off.” He rasps back at you, taking his other hand off the controller to grab your waist, barely saving you from keeling over and onto the floor. You’re left to fend for yourself now, button-mashing, groaning when you finally succumb to your enemies and die a violent, gory death.

“I died! Why didn’t you help, you’re right here?!” the accusatory tone of your voice is ignored as you revert to the last save, huffing in frustration as you’re forced to start over.

“You’re never gonna learn if I’m holding your hands like that.”

Shigaraki’s glad you’ve stilled again - if you’d kept up your wiggling, he’d have to figure out a way to explain what the hard thing poking into the side of your plush little rear.

God, you had the most perfect ass.

Maybe he’s a freak, a disgusting man with fucked up morals, but Shigaraki’s always been a social outcast, seen as weird and wrong and criticized for every little thing he did.

What’s wrong with settling into the role other people were so quick to offer him?

Surely you’ve noticed his odd behavior by now, the behavior that’s picked up in the last few years. How he stares at you a little more than he should, how sometimes he slips into bed with you, murmuring some lame excuse about not being able to sleep.

The way he freezes when you give him an affectionate hug, clenching his fists by his side as your breasts are squished up against his body.

You had to have caught on to his uncharacteristic softness with you. He’s still mean and coarse and rude, but there's an underlying affection underneath the way he mocks your outfits, when he says you look like the gross character out of a manga he’s reading, how he tugs on your hair sometimes when he passes by you, wheezing out a laugh if you turn around and try to slap at him in irritation.

If you didn’t want him to be weird, you could’ve said something by now. You should’ve said something by now.

So really, it’s your own fault that he feels so comfortable being a sicko.

“Don’t tickle, I gotta focus.” You tell him, squirming away when he runs a hand experimentally over your stomach. You’re so cute, and dumb, he wants to bully you until you’re crying, say mean things and hurt your feelings only so he can kiss it better.

But he doesn’t, because he’s a good brother.

His hand travels further up, rests right underneath your breast, almost cupping it. Still, you don’t say anything, attention on the game.

Do you want this? Are you just stupid? His affection is so obviously not normal for siblings, and yet you act like it’s fine. Maybe you’re a virgin, untainted with the knowledge of how sexual touches feel like.

The hand on your waist begins to slip under your shorts, his cold fingers quickly warmed by your skin. “Nii-san, stop that, it’s weird.”

Ah, there’s the common sense.

“I though you wanted to play the game? Don’t be a bitch.” He doesn’t really care whether you want him willingly now or not, he’s getting excited by the heat of your body, your weight on his lap.

You pause the game when his hand creeps lower into your shorts, when his fingers skim low over your tummy, too close to a private place that brothers shouldn't touch.

“Stop touching me, I don’t like that.”

“It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy it.” He mumbles, and you stiffen in his lap, but he quickly takes his hand out of your shorts, stops cupping your soft breast.

The game gets unpaused, and you resume playing, although your attention is divided now, nervous about sitting in your brother’s lap.

Has it finally clicked? Are you thinking about what he could do to you, how he could make you feel?

“You suck at this.” Shigaraki observes, the controller shaking almost violently as you’re attacked again, overwhelmed by enemies.

“Well, maybe if you taught me how to play instead of being weird, I wouldn’t be.” You snarked, frustrated with the game, uneasy with your brother holding your hips like that.

Shigaraki rolls his eyes. You’re so dramatic, and although you have a valid point, he’s always been weird. This is nothing new, you’ve just been too thick-skulled to realize it before, which isn’t his fault.

A few more tries, and you still can’t get past the one group of enemies, dying after a few minutes every single time. You’re going to waste the batteries like that, controller jumping in your hands.

“I can’t-” You whine, coming across the enemies after your latest death, already knowing what’s going to happen.

Shigaraki stays silent, red eyes finally flickering away from your body and up to the screen of the TV.

You’re at one of the hardest parts of the game, facing a section that took Shigaraki two days to beat (not that he’ll tell you that). He grins as you throw yourself into the fight, immediately getting decked.

The noises you’re letting out are cute, frustrated groans on each hit landed on your player, muttered curses and triumphant scoffs whenever you manage to strike an enemy, which isn’t often.

The controller’s still shaking like crazy, and you’re moving around in his lap again, and Shigaraki is done. He can’t take this anymore, you’re being a tease.

He snatches the Xbox controller out of your hands, ignoring your little “Hey! What’re you doing, I was playing!”

“You call this playing?” The shuddering of the controller surprises him, gives him an idea.

There hadn’t been a plan, he had just been acting on instinct, hands itching to push you off his lap and to the floor, just to see the way you’d look up at him after.

Like that, you’d be in the perfect position to suck his cock.

But he wants to go in a different direction now.

“Stay still, you’re so annoying.” He’s spreading his legs out, sinking back further in his chair to get a better angle, your legs hooked over his.

There’s no time for you to protest. Like this, you’re spread out nicely, exposed, even though your shorts cover your intimate place.

Without any further preamble, Shigaraki shoves the vibrating controller up against your clothed cunt.

“NIi-san!” You shriek, immediately writhing in his hold. But Shigaraki has an arm locked around your chest, keeping you pinned to his chest. “Don’t, think sins’t-this isn't-! Stop this, stop! Don’t touch me!”

He can bet it feels good, that you’re struggling to tell him to stop. He begins rubbing the controller against you, snickering at the way you jolt and writher on each pass of the hard, curved plastic against your protected clit. He can’t even imagine how good it would feel if your stupid shorts weren’t in the way.

“Stop, stop! Stop it! Stop!” You sound like a broken record.

“Shut up, you can’t even play the game right. Feel that?” the controller gets rubbed harder against you, and you writhe. “That’s how bad you are. So pathetic, can’t even fend off a couple of bad guys.”

Can’t even fend off one, Shigaraki thinks to himself. You could be trying harder to get out of his hold, could be screaming and yelling and scratching and kicking.

Well, you are scratching and kicking, moving around so much that he’s having a hard time keeping you still. And you making a lot of noise, but there’s no one else home.

He’s fully hard, and every movement you make struggling rubs him right up against the meat of your ass, and he sucks in a stuttered breath, biting his lip.

“No, no, no, no, don’t want this Nii-san, stop it-” Your panicked pleas are ignored, Shigaraki shoving your hands away as you try to pull the controller off of your cunt, get the vibrations to stop.

On screen, the player is still getting attacked, each new hit making the controller vibrate even harder.

“Ow, ow! It hurts, make it stop! Nii-san-”

“I’ll gag you if you don’t stop complaining.” Shigaraki seethes, feeling irritation creep up. “It hurts because you’ve never felt this good before, idiot.”

He remembers the first time he’d used something on his dick. It was your toothbrush, unsurprisingly, the one that vibrated with three different speeds and made you so proud of your pearly whites.

It had been so overwhelming, he couldn’t even touch the back of the head to his cock. At times, it felt so good it had hurt, had completely blinded his senses and leave him in a puddle of his own cum and sweat, panting.

So Shigaraki understood what you were trying to say - your inexperienced body needed him to slow down, ease up a little. But your gross, nasty brother wanted to ruin you.

Your character on screen died, resulting in one last heavy vibration that made you sob, thighs struggling to snap shut, hands desperately pushing at Shigaraki.

He felt you convulse in his grip, could practically feel the way your little hole was clenching as you gushed all over yourself, whining and moaning at the pleasure.

Your character was sent back to the last save, the game on a loading screen.

But Shigaraki wasn’t done.

He was still hard against your back, rubbing himself off as best he could, but he was finding his own pleasure in watching you writhe on his lap.

The controller was tossed to the side, nimble fingers sliding over your shorts, Shigaraki laughing at what he found.

“You’re so wet, holy fuck. That’s disgusting, wow.” You were drenched, the fabric of your shorts completely soaked with your juices. You only sobbed out a pitiful noise, maybe trying to deny it, but Shigaraki wasn’t listening. He was too busy rubbing over the wet spot, gleefully feeling you up. It was easy for his fingers to find a comfortable, mind-numbing rhythm, so used to playing games and deftly pushing buttons, using sticks and joysticks, directional pads and the like.

You were rocking against his hand unconcsiously, body unable and unwilling to decided whether to pull away or push closer - you had just cum, but that didn’t negate the vicious, heady sensation that his fingers brought.

Shigaraki quickly grew bored of this though, unable to ignore his dripping erection. He had never been a patient man, quickly removing the hand stimulating your swollen pussy so he could pull his cock out of his sweatpants.

With a quick movement, your shorts were tugged down, your brother completely pushing past your refusal to lift your hips, burning your skin with how forcefully the fabric was ripped down.

“Nii-san, what are you doing-you can’t, you can’t!” You cried, renewing your struggle when you felt skin against skin, his cock hot and velvety as it rested against your cheeks. “I don’t wanna do this, don’t make me do this-”

“I don’t care. I’ve tried to be good, and it’s like you don’t even care.” The man ground out, beginning to rut his hips against your ass. It was dry, and it didn’t feel great, but it was more than enough to satisfy Shigaraki. “I barely touch you, I keep my hands to myself-”

Which was a lie. Late at night, when he was sure you were fast asleep, he’d touch, just a little. Rubbing your nipples, feeling them peak under his touch. Feeling the curve of your waist, skin soft against his dry palms.

“-I wouldn’t stare either, but you wear those stupid shirts-” The deep cut ones, the ones that showed off your cleavage and allowed him weeks of jerk-off material.

“So annoying, just a stupid little imoto that follows me around, you just want attention.”

He knows you don’t do it on purpose. You aren’t trying to make him see you in a sexual light. But maybe that’s what makes it all the more appealing, how naive and innocent you are.

Fuck, he’s getting close just thinking about your purity, how much you don’t know, how much he could teach you.

He doesn’t know a ton, but Shigaraki knows enough about what feels good for him, and you probably wouldn’t want to learn, but he deserved something nice every once in a while, didn’t he?

The drag of his cock between your ass cheeks was making him loose his mind, the slide too rough, but it felt delicious and stimulated him just right, pulling at his foreskin and spreading his precum into a sticky mess on your skin.

“Fuck, stay still, lemme feel good-” His voice was choked up, still holding it’s usual nasal resonance.

You sobbed in his hold, his fingers still playing over your shorts, exploring, keeping you occupied and frozen with sensation while he got himself off with your body.

And then he was breaking, splurting his seed all over your lower back, watching it come out of his cock in shaky squirts, painting your skin a cloudy white.

Shigaraki groaned, eyes transfixed to the sight before him. It was hard to keep them open, body shaking with little snaps of pleasure in his veins, in his stomach.

On the bed next to his thigh, the controller started shaking again. Panting, Shigaraki raised his eyes to the TV screen as you slumped against him, softly crying.

Your character was getting attacked again.

“Let’s keep playing.”

And the vibrating controller was pressed to your bare cunt, making you scream.

He’d have to wash it after this, but he figured it was worth it in the grand scheme of things

#gross misuse of Xbox controller #and I mean GROSS #shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki tenko #one sided relationships #yandere shigaraki #bnha shigaraki #tw.incest #tw noncon #tw dubcon #dead dove do not eat #creepy shigaraki

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lovelybarnes · 3 years

Text

saudade- l. laufeyson

pairings: loki laufeyson x reader, mentions of other loki characters warnings: loki tv show spoilers, probably tva inaccuracies, mobius being trusted even though i don’t actually trust him lol, mentions of death, tears, a little sad angst but happy ending, ooc characters?? possible mistakes because i can't read this again skjfj about: requested, DF26 with TVA Loki running into the variant of his dead spouse a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i loved writing the last scene so much

loki has narrowly avoided the tva for years, opportunities much better than this and chaos a lot more chaotic than this have already been caused and passed. so the how and why he has been taken in at this very moment- while he’s eating at one of those fast food places you used to like- is very, very unknown to him. he should know, however; you’ve explained to him the tired concept of time traveling many times before, although the most important things were told to him when he thought you a mere mortal like the rest- something you were not- and could not possibly know something he didn’t- also something very untrue.

but the reasoning for his capturing is not at the front of his mind- although close- his main objective staying on how to get out of this unknown place and go back to looking for you- whether the fragile fabrics of reality and string of the timeline fray and break or don’t. he knows it possible, having seen the avengers do something similar, so why can a god like him not?

he’s ripped many holes, and he supposes the consequences for them are finally catching up to him, a lot sooner than he’d like. in another world, he’d already have you, and, with you by his side, you both would’ve been out long before, or never captured at all. although, he supposes, in a perfect world, you never would have been taken away from him in the first place.

he knows stopping for food he didn’t even necessarily need- or, really, like- was not a smart decision. he’s realizing exactly how not-smart of a decision it was with every passing second that the fools in armor drag him along the halls. the stop wasn’t needed, much less planned, but the memories the greasy food and dirty restaurant brought were too pleasant- a break full of you in the nonstop mission to find you. he could nearly feel your fingers touching his, hear your voice urging him to at least try and your bubbled laugh when he cringes. the fizz of the soda had made him grimace like the first time, except there was no you to giggle at it.

loki nearly thinks it was worth it. nearly.

when the guard shoves him into another room, loki takes a second to examine the exits, barely noticing the man at the desk. the person next to him pushes him further, dropping the tesseract and various stolen pym particles on the desk. loki takes note of where the man puts them so he can steal them back.

the guard stops with him in front of a small elevator, pulling a lever and waiting. loki looks at them, “where am i? get me back right now, i have things i must attend to.” the guard only looks at him, and loki scoffs, “i am loki of asgard, god of mischief and trickery, believe me when i say there will be deadly consequences if you do not do what i ask.”

the guard huffs a small laugh, “i’ve heard that before. we’ll see.”

the doors in front of him part, opening to a room he’s rammed into. he looks back the guard, one foot already out when he’s suddenly back where he was, watching as the entrance closes. he senses the machine before he can have a good look at it, a claw that he’s seen too many variations of beginning to poke at the fabric on his shoulders. he swats it away, standing tall as he glares at the smiling machine. “absolutely not! this is high tech armor, only few of this exists.”

the tech on the machine turns the grin into a frown, pulling back the talons and instead extending another apparatus that scans at his clothing, removing them with a yellow glow until he’s completely bare. he looks down at himself before looking back up at the face, pointing a finger, “now what-”

his words are cut off when he falls through the opening ground, falling onto the bottom room, now dressed in an uncomfortable tan jumpsuit, orange letters reading TVA on the left breast. a bored man in front of him pushes a pile of papers to him, “please sign to verify this is everything you’ve ever said.”

loki ignores his words, pushing it back, “i need to find someone, stop the absurdity.” the man only blinks as a machine whirrs, printing a piece of paper he reaches over to take and place on top of the pile. he hands loki a pen, “sign that too.” loki frowns, “did you not hear me? i have important things to do.” the machine does it again, and the man repeats his motions and shakes the pen in his hand. “that, too.” the god only sighs in frustration and signs, slamming the pen down before he’s dropped again.

another man greets him in a monotone, not even looking at him while he reads off the clipboard in his hands, “please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.” loki’s eyebrows furrow, “i’m not a robot- how many people don’t know?”

“thank you for confirming, move through,” he requests. loki glances at the machine in front of him before stepping through it, a small picture printing after he’s on the other side. loki catches vibrant orange and red with hints of green that overcome any other color. “through the door, please.”

he encounters the same guard from before with a frustrated glare, leading him to what looks like a courtroom, a woman sitting in the middle, reading off a file. “variant L4293, aka loki laufeyson-l/n, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. how do you plead?” loki tilts his head at her, “madam, a god- i don’t plead.”

the woman sighs tiredly, “are you guilty or not guilty?” loki’s eyes thin as he observes her. “guilty of… trying to find my wife, yes. guilty of being extremely frustrated, yes. guilty of whatever it is you’re accusing me of, no. not guilty.” loki’s hand curls, trying to use his abilities inconspicuously but dismayed to not be able to. he tries again, only to come up empty as he realizes what is happening. “magic powers are no good in the tva, mister laufeyson,” the judge says absentmindedly. “i prefer l/n,” loki diverts simply, unknowingly catching the attention of one of the attendees. the judge barely acknowledges him, about to say something else before a man jumps up, hand raised, “wait, wait- uh, i have something to add to this. before the court makes a decision.”

the judge tilts her head at the man, pursing her lips before sighing and letting him approach the bench. loki leans in to try to understand the whispers that are exchanged, ending in the judge sending one last look his way before letting him go. “the court finds you innocent- and under agent mobius’ responsibility,” she clarifies, looking at the man and watching him nod quickly. she slams her gavel and motions for the man- mobius, he assumes, to take loki. he stands and awkwardly bows, before going over to loki and raising an eyebrow, “don’t betray me,” he says, words too true to be something playful. loki’s head tilts to the side in slight confusion, watching as the man begins to walk, pausing to urge loki to follow him.

loki ignores the activity through the windows of the hall, choosing to concentrate on mobius. “why did you do that?” he wonders aloud, suspicious eyes following him as his head peeks into halls. “let’s just say it’s a favor, although you’ll be on thin ice forever.”

“favor for whom?” mobius doesn’t answer, turning a corner. loki exhales sharply before following him, continuing to pry as he briefly heeds his surroundings. the sight of a woman in a suit much like mobius’ catches his eye, her back to him but he recognizes the shape of her shoulder and the color of her hair. he looks away, pretending to concentrate on the clock thing on the television but actually chasing the overfamiliar features to a face.

the sound of your voice- something he hasn’t heard in an obscenely long time- craved for so much longer it seems like a lifetime, snaps his attention to what surely must be a cruel joke. he can tell it’s you now. you’re standing there, head tilted at the same receptionist man and chuckling exasperatedly, “come on, casey, we’ve been over this. a fish and a lion are not the same thing-”

“but a lionfish-?” casey asks, and loki is pushing away the guards already, because you’re there, you’re solid and laughing like you used to and you can’t not be real. he can distantly hear mobius’ voice telling the guards to let him go as if loki hasn’t already taken care of that, walking over to you with quick and quiet footsteps. his fingers circle around your wrist first as an assurance, and when you turn, hand still in his, eyes widening when you notice who he is, he pulls you into him completely. your arms wrap around him barely seconds later, finally registering the person in front of you as you squeeze him. “loki?” you whisper, inhaling the same familiar scent of him that you haven’t had in what seems like forever.

“i missed you so much,” he says, hands wandering over your back, touching your arms and your shoulders and your hips just to touch you. “me too- i didn’t- i thought i would never see you again.” your tears are falling on the fabric of his jumpsuit, small tearful gasps escaping your lips while you tug him as close as you can, tangling your fingers in his hair and shutting your eyes at the familiar feeling. “oh god, you’re here-”

“i missed you so much,” he repeats, and you finally notice his words, realization like electricity, making you tremble and sigh softly. “what does that mean?” you question, already fearing the answer and already knowing the effects: the mess of his usually kept hair and the red tint of his eyes, like a sheen of sadness that stains the color of the eyes you have missed for so long. loki pulls away from you only to look at your face, trace the shape of the lips he’d spent hours of the morning pressing kisses to, memorize the curve of the nose you’d scrunch in a laugh when thor was a victim to one of his tricks.

“i have been looking for you, darling,” he murmurs, fingers running over your fallen tears while you notice the shine of his eyes, the tears that enhance the love he has for you. “because i’m…” you don’t want to finish your sentence, and you can tell loki doesn’t want you to either; he scans your features, small smile peeking through the shock and grief.

“i didn’t… mobius didn’t show me that, i thought-” your eyes flicker to the man before settling back on loki, the weight of the ring he’d given you feeling lighter now that it had found its pair. the various eyes on you don’t go unnoticed, and neither does the look mobius sends to the rest of the workers, indicating for them to go back to work. the cold of loki’s skin is comforting to the touch of your warmth, and you find yourself back in the summer afternoons where you would settle with your husband to read books, rubbing cool fingers on the hot of your skin when you felt suffocated by the heat of the sun.

another tear slips from your eyes when you realize you don’t have to imagine anymore, there’s no need to search for your memories and shut your eyes for them to run over you. your lips are on his when you can’t help it anymore, eyes squeezed close and salty tears dropping from your chin when it finally settles that he’s here and he’s yours and he’ll never be gone again.

he’ll make sure of that.

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felassan · 4 years

Note

if it's not too much to ask, which of the characters introduced in tevinter nights do you think have "potential companion energy" and why?

Not at all! It’s just feelings I get mind. Cut for length and obviously there’s spoilers under there.

One is Strife. This is partially wishful thinking on my part, but not completely. He’s both City and Dalish, bringing knowledge of both perspectives in one slot. He’s an example of City-Dalish solidarity/working together, which I think we need more of, especially in the face of what’s coming. I can’t see him not wanting to improve the lives of the remaining City Elves, and I’ve said before I’m in desperate need of a modern elf who is FOR!! modern elves as a whole, not other or semi-related groups like slaves and the little people (which are absolutely worthy causes, just not the thing I mean). Members of both elf factions are followers of Solas, I’d like for members of both these factions to be represented among our companions/followers/agents as well. He’s older (and not in a “I’m an immortal ancient being” way), which we haven’t had before in an elf dude companion or indeed in any elf companion before. He’s explicitly pro-Dalish, as in how they are in the present, and is proud of being Dalish/an elf which is a perspective we’ll be sorely in need of on the companion roster in the next game (like if it’s lacking in this I will be frustrated. It was already lacking in DAI which I think is a game that really needed it). He’s “elfy”; we haven’t had an “elfy-elf” male companion. He seems happy with his new Dalish life and has good relationships with his clanmates. He’s also not a Dalish exile. Love Merrill and Velanna, but wouldn’t it be nice if we had a Dalish companion who wasn’t an outcast with a strained relationship with their clan? Give me examples of that BioWare. He’s not explicitly attached, like Irian. Not that his single-ness matters (this comment isn’t in terms of availability as an LI) or that having an SO precludes someone from being a companion. But for example, Irian also has Big Energy, but I think it’s probably a bit harder/less convenient to write a companion who has an active SO with whom they have a close, healthy and current relationship with elsewhere? Oghren was kinda estranged from both Branka and Felsi in those games, and Aveline and Donnic, while lovely and wholesome, was player-choice dependent and not from the very outset of the game. The love between Viv and Bastien was real, but he dies in the game. Strife is also not an isolationist-Dalish - he and his clanmates are clearly interested in and troubled by the current events unfolding in the wider world, worried about how it will effect/what it will mean for the Dalish, and wanting to keep an eye on it, to the extent that they launch an intrepid covert mission to infiltrate a Vint city while it was the middle of being invaded by Qunari (dangerous!!) to steal info on the Qunari plans. “Clans” implies multi-clan cooperation which I’m interested in, and there’s your motivation - Strife is clearly interested in doing dangerous things in order to protect his People, even if that involves being away from his clan. You could easily turn that into “I’m going to help the DA4 PC stop Solas, because I want to protect my People [and again, for him this = City and Dalish both, potentially saving another slot from needing filled/represented]”. He also has Felassan-style energy and I think quite a few folk are interested in having an elven companion like that. And he’s cool, with his height and silver hair.

He has a notable snappy name and gets a lot of spotlight in that short I feel, and that’s a prominent place to have, in the opening story to boot. The language describing him is consistently complimentary. His role in the story is heroic. And he’s clearly super-skilled/competent! Just from memory, he’s intelligent/smart/a quick thinker, strong and sturdy and spry, a decent hand-to-hand fighter, is able to infiltrate a Vint city, a great archer, light-footed, an agile tree-climber, brave, possesses elfy-knowledge, is open to changing his mind/new perspectives (character development), knows some elven, can navigate in the woods, etc. He’s also fairly sassy which is generally always welcome in companions.

I got the biggest companion energy from Lucanis though. I’m less interested in having him and therefore another Crow as a companion (no offense to my boy Zev, it’s just something that’s been done before), but he is pretty cool/interesting and his story really seemed to idk like.. talk him up. He’s obviously a skilled combatant as an expert Crow, one whose reputation proceeds him and whom others/those he is hunting are largely super afraid of/concerned about. Literally evil powerful Magisters cower in fear at his name, and he’s a lowly foreign non-mage! They’ve started calling him “The Demon”, that’s how afraid of his prowess and him coming for them they are! Heck in this short alone his recent body count starts at 9 Venatori (and that’s just his recent contracts) and he ends it having killed like, 8 guards, 1 Magister and inadvertently like 40 decadent slave-having-approving Venatori-supporting/sympathetic partygoers!! He’s clearly intelligent and smart, agile stealthy and resourceful, has keen senses. He’s visually striking, lean, dark hair, umber eyes, basically sounding dangerously handsome in a rugged sort of way, and wears a badass Designated Cool Guy black leather greatcoat. “Focused and intense - the kind of man you couldn’t look away from. Until he looked at you.” Arsenal of daggers and throwing knives. He seems like he was made with “attractively brooding” in mind lol. Quiet bad boy with a heart kinda deal. This isn’t a crit or saying he’s one-note or one-dimensional, not so, he has a lot of character for a character in a short story. He’s uniquely-skilled for a non-mage, with these instincts he’s developed - able to feel magic energy and tell when the Veil is thin or when there’s tears in it/mages are pulling across it. He also seems to have some knowledge of Veil/artifacts/demon/mage/red lyrium/magic stuff, more than you’d expect from a random non-mage normie Thedosian. Despite being a Crow he’s very different to Zevran, so it wouldn’t be a duplicate situation. Despite being a gruff killer and stuff, he had a lot of emotional depth like. He’s written sympathetically - he has standards (e.g. no red lyrium), a soft heart which he tries to hide even from his cousin, and which his enemies i.e. remaining Venatori know they might be able to exploit (his kind treatment of Effe, risking things to free the Magister’s slaves, ending the suffering of the experimented-on people and allowing them to take vengeance), and espouses stuff the fanbase just devooours, like loving killing racist evil supremacist Magisters. “[I LOVE] killing racist blood mages who have it coming”, lol! He’s the Great Lucanis, no Ordinary Crow, Master Dellamorte. In contrast to his sassier, chattier, more “lolol” and dramatic cousin, he’s the ‘straight’ man, but still has that dry/wry wit/sense of humor thing going on people are suckers for (again not a crit). His marks all have a gleam in their eyes that show they’re evil (i.e. they deserve it and showing he usually only takes such contracts), he thinks ignorance is not innocence. He says cool badass stuff. He’s like a bingo-board of all the things people love. He does the brooding “we’re not freedom fighters, I know what I am, I’m a killer” thing, but you get the distinct impression that he’s not just that. The Magister’s obscene cruelty makes him rage. He’s like a mashup of Thane (custom-designed to be an LI) and Ezio (a very popular character). Important to note that his brooding is really mild, not at all annoying, not overdone, which are common crits of such chars. AH! He’s like Antivan Batman lol.

Seems like he’d have interesting stories to tell. He’s noted to be more widely travelled than his cousin. His orientation hasn’t been specified so there’s wiggle-room. The return to being hero protector freedom-fighters rather than what they are right now thing for the Crows is hinted at for at least some parts of the Crows in the 8 Talon story. Lucanis’ relationship with his cousin and gran, and the issue of the First Talon succession/his grandmother would be a perfect loyalty/personal mission/arc and in general are really interesting. He admits that it’s impossible to refuse his gran, only prolong her. I can imagine exploring his feelings about his grandma and the life she made him live in order to become strong. Is he really ok with that history? Does he not share his cousin’s bitterness? His cousin is like how long are you going to keep doing this, our gran’s bidding? His cousin also offers that if he was First Talon, he’d let Lucanis quit and be free. I can imagine the peeling away his layers stuff and the “you’re not just a killer” “your calling is more than death bro!” char arc. His anti-Venatori crusade is not complete, and the story ends with setting up his clearly insanely cruel/evil enemy Magister Renata - unfinished business much. If the plot of DA4 has a route the remaining Venatori arc, he could show up and fit right in. There’s your motivation-y stuff. The Crows are prominent in the book and seem like they will be prominent in the next game (Antiva’s only line of defense against the Antaam invasion), and this guy is a high-ranking Crow related to Queen Crow. If it turns out his mysterious hirer for the Venatori jobs was Solas/a Solas follower, there’s potential for the little “aw shit” reveal.

I would like Teia to show up in a Briala-esque role. She’s amazing but I don’t want to separate her from her cute, finally!! newly-budding close romantic relationship with Viago.

[msg refs this post] warning, Tevinter Nights spoilers at link

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #dragon age #bioware #mj replies #anonymous #video games #spoilers #spoiler #tevinter nights spoilers #tevinter nights spoiler #tevinter nights #strife #mj meta #felassan #best elf #solas

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iamtotallycool · 4 years

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Fight Like Siblings

Back with another fic for the @reverseavalor AU! (Man, I love this idea!)

This time exploring the relationship between the life-long-friends-that-they-are-practically-siblings, Mateo and Carla!

Also features Gabe because those two are the worst at “incognito mode” ever! LOL

Enjoy!

Queen Elena of Avalor and Defender of the Realm, had such a solid reputation among the Royals of the EverRealm of having a charming personality and level head, that only those who personally knew her had insight to the prankster and rule breaker that laid underneath her Regal exterior.

Carla Delgado was one of these people who knew this version of Tia Elena, which is how she also had the current knowledge on how to perfectly sneak out of the Castle in the dead on night.

"Carla, wait!"

Well, almost perfectly.

"Just go back to your workshop, Mateo," Carla harshly whispered back to him.

Oh, why did this have to be the one night that he actually remembered he needed to eat on his own accord after hours of studying in the library, and be a kitchen when she decided to take that shortcut. And now was tailing behind her insistently.

"Where are you even going?"

"Back to my old house in the woods, so no need for the dramatics," Carla said, trying to be cryptic as possible.

"Need I remind you that there is a crazy powerful Malvago on the loose and is the whole reason we're not supposed to be leaving the castle."

Of course Carla knew this. She hadn't forgotten that last encounter the teen group had with the masked Malvago. She had been ruthless in throwing spells that exploded rocks, disintegrated plants, and threw everyone to the side like ragdolls, leaving them heavily scratched and bruised.

And she also hadn't forgotten that the villain had stopped her hand to her tamborita when her eyes landed on Carla. Her hauntingly light blue eyes widening as she looked deeply into Carla's violet ones.

Now, Carla couldn't stop thinking day and night about what the Malvago would have done if Esteban hadn't swooped down on his rope that moment, like the dashing adventurer he always tried to be, and scooped Carla out of the scene and escaped.

"How do you plan on getting in there?" Mateo then pressed on when she had not answered him. "That place had been completely abandoned and securely boarded up since you guys left."

Carla shot him a smirk over her shoulder as she reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a small key.

"How did you get that?"

"Used Papa's old slight of hand trick."

"Didn't he say he only taught us that trick in case we needed to get out of a tough situation?" Mateo annoyingly pointed out. "Seems kind of heartless to use it against him."

"Well, he's the one who's not telling me something. And frankly, it's none of your business."

Before Mateo could reply, a third voice suddenly came into their conversation.

"Why is it every time there is yelling going on in the middle of the night, it's always you two?"

Gabe emerged from his post in the shadows to join the group.

Wasn't he supposed the night off tonight?

Trying to appear unfazed, Carla sidestepped his question. Irritated that she now had to shake off two people. "Well you can clearly see it's just us, so you can resume your post, Gabe."

"She's trying to sneak out," Mateo said, instantly ratting her out.

"What!?" Gabe said outraged. "You know that the Queen ordered us to stay at the Castle."

"That's what I said."

Carla didn't appreciate how they were ganging up on her. She wasn't in the wrong.

"Look, this is something I need to do. It's important to me, so I would appreciate if you would just leave me alone."

That statement seemed to affect Gabe, as his disapproval transformed into something softer and more concerned. "What's really going on, Carla?"

Carla immediately had to avert her eyes from them. Not wanting to admit to herself how much their concern for her mattered.

"Nothing." Carla turned defiantly on her heels and began walking away at a brisk pace. "See ya, Marco and Geb."

"Levaluq!" Mateo's voice then called out.

Carla felt her feet lift off the ground and quickly threw out her arms out to keep herself steady as she was surrounded by an orange magical glow.

"Oh, you did not just use magic on me!" Carla snarled, not caring how loud she was yelling anymore. The Wizard-in-training knew how much she hated magic being used on her.

"So what if I did!?"

"Oh my gods!" Gabe finally exclaimed in frustration. He grabbed Mateo's and the still floating Carla's arm and dragged them into the nearest room. He threw them inside and shut the door behind them.

Carla eyes adjusted to the dark room and realized that they were in one of the Castle Guard's sword storage rooms.

"You two have to be the worst people to travel incognito I have ever seen," Gabe said, leaning against the door and her only way of escape. But her father didn't teach her how to survive the Avalorian Royal Court if she was deterred by one, low-ranking guard. Even if he was her friend.

"Move out of the way Gabe," She commanded.

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

Carla clenched up her fists, but quickly regained her composure as she tossed her side ponytail back and puffed up her chest.

"I am a Lady of the Court, Lieutenant Nunez, so I order you to move out of the way."

Mateo scoffed. "So, you're resorting to use that trick."

"You seemed to have no problem using that trick when you got Armando to tell you where your mom hid that Book with the 'dangerous spells you should definitely not be casting, mijo!'" Carla said in an exaggerated version of his mother's tone.

Mateo colored at her comment. "At least when I used it, it was because it would be for something helpful. You're using it to be selfish!"

"I didn't ask you to come, Matato!" Carla shot back.

"Daddy's prissy little princess!"

"Mama's little wizard boy!"

"Knock it off, you two!" Gabe barked out in a gruff voice that silenced both of them out of pure shock. "Have you two always been like this!?"

The two of them ignored his question and instead went to opposite corners of the room in order to take a moment to breathe or they both knew this room would probably combust from their crackling anger.

It took a few minutes for the tension to decompress out, Carla could tell by how much from Gabe's nervously shifting eyes even though his posture was it's usual rigid way.

Mateo then let out a sigh before turning back to face her.

"Just forget about your mom, Carla."

Carla felt herself start at him saying that word out loud, but was even more startled that he knew already the real reason she was going back to her home.

"You're not the only one who can sneak around and eavesdrop on conversations. I heard Chancellor Victor mention something about her when you guys were arguing the other day."

Carla realized that it in fact really shouldn't have surprised. She knew that he had that skill, they always had done it together as kids. But it had been innocent then, just wanting to know what their birthday surprises would be rather than using it to find out political secrets.

How things had changed.

"Don't you ever wonder about your Dad?" Carla asked, genuinely wanting to know his opinion now that the truth was out. "Wouldn't you jump at the first opportunity to find out more about him?"

"I did, when I was a child." Mateo crossed his arms tightly. "But I learned that if he didn't want to bother being a parent to me, then he doesn't deserve me wasting my time thinking about him and completely swore off him at 10."

His hazel eyes softened up.

"And you should do the same Carla. You've become a great person without her influence in your life, so what could you possibly want to know?"

"It's not exactly the same though, Mateo." Carla said, taking a few steps forward. "I have memories of her. She was a part of my life at one time. So much so, that I can still remember her giving me gifts or even singing me lullabies. I tried to forget her for the sake of my father and I being able to move on. But's she always been there deep down."

Carla made a reach to start fiddling with her necklace, hating how vulnerable she felt. But, even she knew these two good guys wouldn't take advantage of her while she was like this, not like some Royals would. "It's just easier to forget someone you never met."

"I do understand where you're coming from. Truly." Mateo took a few steps as well so they were now standing close to each other. "So, if it's really that important for you, I'll always go with you and protect you."

Despite herself, Carla smiled. "You could have told me that from the beginning."

"Yeah well, you were the one being difficult this time," Mateo said with a shrug and even his own smile.

Knowing what would need to be done next, the pair simultaneously turned towards Gabe. It only took a minute of their combined pleading stares before he gave in.

"Fine, but I'm in charge in running this expedition and you follow my orders," Gabe looked between them, his authoritative solider nature coming out in full swing again. "I'm not losing my job because of you two trouble makers."

"Of course you won't. After all, where else would you get your only source of fun?" Carla said with a cheeky tone and a wink.

Gabe decided to not dignify her question with an answer as he slowly cracked the door open. Looking out to make sure no one was there.

"Alright, I think it'll be easiest if we take the--"

"We can use that secret entrance through the dungeons," Carla said as she ducked under Gabe's arm and slipped out the door.

"Hey--!"

"Good idea!" Mateo replied with as he followed Carla's lead by slipping by Gabe and was immediately as her side. "I'll have to use a temporary cloaking spell before we exit. Queen Elena most likely have Jaquin Guardians watching that area."

"Nice!" Carla said as she punched his shoulder in a friendly manner.

Gabe let out another exasperated noise before following them. Carla had no doubt that he was suddenly realizing that it might actually be worst when the two of them worked together rather than when they were bickering.

#Elena of Avalor #mateo de alva #carla delgado #gabe nunez #Disney #disney jr #reverse au

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omgokiguess · 4 years

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wow guys i just got out of rehab today

first of all. it was so terrible except for some of the people there. but also a couple of the people there really sucked too.

the staff was TERRIBLE. they were literally so mean and power hungry. i was friends with basically every patient (except for the few shitty ones) and was really nice to them.... like i took in this innocent 20yo girl who started calling me her big sister and i helped this 21yo girl so much with her anxiety..... like i took care of everyone that i could and i stuck up for everyone that the staff treated like shit. and the staff was so fucking rude to me. the whole staff said so many times “we have no problem giving you extra phone time/computer time to take care of things like work, aftercare, legal problems, financial problems, etc” but literally every single time i asked to call work or call my lawyer or anything i got a no. it literally took me two full weeks to get things straightened out with exelon and i literally got let go from anthro because they would just not let me get on the phone so that’s cool. i never once was able to speak to my lawyer or my pre-trial officer. neat. also i got in a pretty heated fight with this one bitch employee who told me i was disrespectful because i asked her superior to open the laundry room for me because i had my period and needed new underwear out of the dryer. we were like screaming at each other and she ended up being sent home for four days. two guys actually ended up leaving randomly and left all their shit including their phones and wallets. that’s how bad the staff was.

the doctor was really good and knowledgeable and helpful and i really liked him. he was really chill. but i do have to say he really was pushing meds on not just me but everyone. i didn’t get on any meds though, and honestly one of the nurses congratulated me for not getting on meds when i left. i thought it was fucked up that i was the only person not on meds. we’re just alcoholics.... there’s no way we’re all fucking psychotic or something. nobody was on less than 2 meds besides me and i would say the average number of different meds was about 4 for somebody my age.

the staff just really frustrated me. it’s rehab so obviously there are a lot of rules for the sake of having rules and i honestly did not have a problem with the rules even though a lot of them were very silly. like you would not find me complaining about the unhealthy food, the fact that they said the gym would be open certain hours but was actually never open because they were “understaffed,” that our bathrooms were locked from 7:30am - 9:30pm and 25 people had to share two toilets, that there were essentially no covid-19 precautions, that somebody checked where i was every 15 minutes, that smoking a pack of cigarettes a day is okay but the juul is not, that i had to get the actual doctor to approve me using contact solution or allergy medication, or any other stupid thing they enforced. i literally only complained about the fact that i couldn’t talk to my employer(s), couldn’t talk to my lawyer, couldn’t talk to my pre-trial officer, couldn’t figure out my aftercare, couldn’t call my therapist, and that the staff spoke to me like i was either an idiot, a delinquent, or like i was a bitch.

i did put up one little stink though. this bitch that worked there, if we were in our rooms, when she checked on us she didn’t knock she just fucking opened up the door, so i decided to just chill in my room and read in the nude one day cause i knew she would just open the door without knocking... and wouldn’t it be fun for her to have to deal with the sight of my entire bush..... so i went for it lmao. she told the entire staff that she walked in on me LOL and the “director of operations” (this woman is truly a dumb cunt) asked my roommate, who was a 45 year old MD from lake forest, if she wanted to switch roommates (???) and dr. nancy my hero was like “um no i actually lucked out with erin and also diana should learn to knock.”

anyway, nancy and brittany my two fave people, left on the same day which really sucked but whatever. then sam left which also whatever... i loved her too. and then..... oh god i hate to admit this so much.... but then michael came in. he made it in 3-ish days before i left.

i literally have NO IDEA why this would be, but okay the protocol is before you go to rehab you go through alcohol detox in the hospital, so i was an inpatient in the hospital for 5 days. i slept through most of that because they put me on valium for those 5 days so that I wouldn’t experience the hells of alcohol withdrawal. i’m glad i was asleep for most of it though because there was nothing at all to do, they had like 3 different crossword puzzles and no TV but as it turns out..... i wasn’t in the alcohol detox section of the hospital.... for some reason they put me in the psychotic wing..... there were only 6 patients total in that wing and i was the only person living in reality. one woman escaped the hospital because she thought her husband was telling her to leave, and the other 4 men were handcuffed to their beds. i was the only person in there with any sense of reality, and i had gotten there in the middle of the night so i was unaware of other wings in the hospital. on my last night there, they moved me to “2 north” aka the normal alcohol detox wing, which probably had 100 people in it. so in the morning we all had breakfast together and i was like WHAT THE HELL..... I COULD HAVE MADE FRIENDS HERE.... and that’s when i met michael. i knew him for like a full 90 minutes total in inpatient but we were literally instant best friends. we met because some old men were telling me jokes trying to get me to laugh and he was sitting nearby and he was like “so how old are you like 35?” and i was like “you’ve got to be kidding me fuck you....” and he was like “yeah lol i’m kidding” and i was like playing back, like “so how old are you like 45?” cause he looked about 30 and he was like “yes” and i was like okay bullshit so he showed me his hospital band and it said 45..... and i was like okay this is ridiculous. anyway he had been to the rehab i was going to before so he told me about it and he gave me a note for sam and i just thought he was really cool. he was getting ECT treatments which is “a treatment most commonly used in patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder that have not responded to other treatments. ECT involves a brief electrical stimulation of the brain while the patient is under anesthesia.” aka it’s literally where they put those diodes on your brain and shock you. he got 16 treatments. i thought he might end up back in rehab with me. but he spent like 2 full months in inpatient which is super abnormal, almost everyone is there for exactly 5 days like me. anyways

so michael shows up right before i leave and the big question is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME...... i spent like 3 days with him nonstop and we can probably all see where this is going but.... this dumbass of course falls for him....???? there were some cuties in rehab and i had NO INTEREST in any of them but idk michael is just kind of.... the personality i’ve been looking for.

couple problems. 1. i have a boyfriend. 2. michael is 5′6″ .... (???) .... 3. i cannot get his fucking stupid smile out of my head and i’m hoping i was just sexually deprived for weeks and this is just a dumb thing BUT

idk my boyfriend like made all these promises of things he was going to do for me while i was in rehab and he kind of didn’t follow through on any of them. i really basically only told him and my sister that i’m going to rehab and my sister lives in boston and so i kind of assumed he would do the things he promised he would do, which clearly was stupid on my part. i can’t rely on him. i should have learned that by now... if i want something done i have to do it myself. i didn’t even ask very much of him. he basically promised four things. 1. he would take care of my guinea pigs. 2. he would check on my car to be sure it doesn’t get impounded 3. he would clean my room before i get back and 4. he would bring me the stuff i need (contact lenses to fucking see, hairbrush, tampons, other necessities) since they wouldn’t let me leave hospital care between detox and rehab. the only one of those he did was take care of my guinea pigs, which is essentially nothing because he goes to whole foods every day and his MAID cleaned their cage.

and idk, we were allowed 10 minutes of combined computer and phone time a day (which is literally nothing), and i always called him and ignored the computer because i thought he would want to hear from me and i would want to hear from him too, but at least 30% of the time i left phone time upset and crying. i mean i was turning my whole entire life around and it took him 13 days just to check to see that my car wasn’t impounded, and he had the audacity to complain that he was overwhelmed with all the stuff he had to deal with on my behalf even though it was literally just feeding my guinea pigs and then he had his own work shit. i suspect he’s taking more adderall than he should again. but i can’t even complain. his dad found the lawyer that may end up saving my life.

and anyway. he never ended up cleaning my room (he wasn’t even gonna clean it himself, he was going to hire someone to clean it and he couldn’t even do that even though he promised. i don’t need it i just kind of thought he was gonna keep his promise), and it took him 5 days to bring me the stuff i need. i kept in one pair of dailies for 5 days (i wore my last pair over from detox) and went blind for 2 days. my rehab was only 20 minutes from his house, a straight shot on the never-crowded 294. i left him with all of my debit cards and pins too, and bank logins so that he wouldn’t have to pay for anything i needed.

and idk then when i talked to him, whenever i complained about rehab he would just kind of be like “this is why you should have gone to PSI” which is where he went to rehab for marijuana.... which costs and arm and a leg because his dad will pay for anything for him and he doesn’t understand that i’m paying for this myself. and i didn’t want some cushy rehab. i mean yeah i didn’t want the staff to be such a load of cunts but i didn’t want his cushy frilly rehab experience. i would have really liked my program if there had just been better people working there. and he wanted to talk about my sobriety so much and like.... i don’t want to talk about it with him. idk in his head i think he thinks i’m taking his exact same journey and like i’m NOT. like it’s not even the same drug. he acts like he totally understands and it’s like... yes there is a lot he understands but there’s a lot that’s different and there’s no way ANY two patients ever went through the exact same thing, ESPECIALLY when it’s different drugs!!!!

and i’ve been with him since about 1p today (he was late to pick me up, it was supposed to be noon, which he promised he wouldn’t be late, and him being late was also something i brought up a lot in rehab because it caused me so much stress..... i just KNEW he was gonna be late and it caused me a lot of anxiety and i told him this so much and he was still late) (and anyway the point here is).... i’ve been with him since 1 and he just keeps saying weird stuff about alcohol. which is EXACTLY why i didn’t want anybody to know i was going to rehab. like after eating hospital food for weeks i wanted to go to a nice restaurant and most nice restaurants serve alcohol.... which is FINE like i was not gonna drink.... but he kept saying things like “we probably shouldn’t go to a pub” or “lake forest food and wine hmm better not go there” and it’s like..... i’m fucking HUNGRY i purposely didn’t eat the hospital food because i wanted to eat good food and it took us till 2:30pm to get somewhere because he felt the need to beat around the alcohol bush.... and every time alcohol came up in conversation (which just HAPPENS because that is how life is....) he’d be like oh sorry shouldn’t mention that and it’s like I CAN HANDLE IT..... i literally finally said to him “wow I’m so glad I didn’t tell anyone i went to rehab because if everybody talked to me the way you’re talking to me that would make me want to drink”

and also right before i went to rehab i told him i was afraid i wasn’t going to like him anymore if i was sober. and boy was i right. and adding michael in did not fucking help. i told myself i would never like somebody fucking shorter than me but i can’t fucking help it. i’ve never liked people for their looks anyway and his personality is just fucking perfect. i can’t get his voice and his smile out of my head. and i trust him to be sober. i really do. this was his first relapse in five years, and he only spent one month drinking before getting help. and i think we could be sober together.

idk maybe i was just so sex deprived that i was just horny or something. i don’t know.

i start online intensive outpatient tomorrow at noon. this week i have it wednesday thursday and friday but it’s gonna be different every week and somebody is going to at least speak with me every day. i’m doing it through derek’s practice and i told him to make sure i have a lot of homework.

i’m not sure how or when i’m going to get back to work. i don’t even really care though. i can always get another job. and after talking to my sister and working through some therapy at rehab, i almost think it’s best to move anyway. i think it would really help me to get away from my parents.

idk. my life is just so in limbo right now. i can stay on FMLA leave for 3 months and on my upcoming court date, that will mark one month. i think it might be wise to use the whole three months. it also might not be wise though because i need things to do. maybe if i could just get back to anthro.....

anthro terminated me in the weirdest way and i think my lawyer can get my job at anthro back for me with a simple letter. that might be the best thing for me right now.

not to mention.... i haven’t been back to my apartment yet but.... the gold coast has been destroyed. i don’t know what i’m going back to at this point. this is really sad sad sad to say but i don’t think i will be living downtown chicago anymore, once i find some other solution or once this lease expires, i’m leaving. maybe i’ll stay in chicagoland but probably not. if i do stay in chicagoland i’m gonna be living in the suburbs. but i think it only makes sense to get out of here. i think it makes sense to go to the southeast. florida or atlanta or north carolina or virginia. california is always on the mind too but to move there i think i need to be really really confident in my sobriety.

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demigodofhoolemere · 4 years

Text

Long bitterness below because I saw something that drove me crazy and I wasn’t gonna be able to rest until I articulated my frustrated thoughts

~~~~~

@ the person who wrote this I just wanna talk

https://screenrant.com/mcu-avengers-most-shameless-things-loki-ever-done/

Most of these are just outright wrong and it only takes the slightest glance at canon events to prove them as such, and the ones that have any amount of accuracy to them are devoid of critical context.

I don’t remember seeing much of this stuff before Ragnarok but it’s everywhere now and it’s kind of telling of the narrative bias that movie planted in everyone’s heads that people are now looking back with a lens that’s colored to be against him from the outset without bothering to take into consideration context, critical thinking skills, or empathy. The narrative tells us that he’s just bad so let’s not look any further than that I guess.

Wasn’t gonna debate each of them but the more I think about it the more it’s gonna bug me until I do, so here comes the bitter canon police...

Number 10

1) Right from the off: “Loki and Thor have always had a love/hate relationship — though it gravitates more toward the ‘hate’ part.” Um... always? Because last I checked, despite their differences, they grew up as best friends. Their problems that we see onscreen span from 2011-2017, a measly 6 years compared to over a thousand years of life together. This is a blip on the radar, one that certainly doesn’t constitute leaning towards mainly hate for each other. Heck, even during this time period, they’re clearly shown to love each other. Loki definitely gets angry, but I wouldn’t say he outright “loathes” Thor, at least not in a way that diminishes the love he also has for him.

2) “As such, Loki has betrayed Thor and his adoptive family many times.” This is so wrong I barely have the energy to explain why. People love to give examples of all of Loki’s supposed betrayals and they pretty much all fall down under scrutiny. The only ones I can understand listing are lying to Thor about Odin being dead, along with his attempts to kill Thor at the climax of the first movie (this stuff was when he was waaay out of his right mind, btw — not that he’s not responsible for his actions, but context is still important when taking into account anything he does), and various things in Ragnarok that were out of character for him to do in the first place. Anything else, even if it’s bad, cannot be counted specifically as betrayals against his adoptive family, since things like coming to Earth weren’t about them. If only a couple of instances are able to qualify as betrayals, then no, he has not done this “many” times, no matter how much people like to push that idea.

3) “Of course, Thor often got the brunt of it.” I’ll let that one stand because Thor got a fair number of screams aimed at him, but honestly, I’d say the person most negatively affected by Loki’s actions tends to be Loki. Thor really didn’t get more than he could handle. And as much as I love him, he’s not innocent of dishing his own stuff onto Loki as well. Wording it this way makes it sound like he’s Loki’s abuse victim (when more than anything, they are both the victims of Odin’s awful parenting rather than each other).

4) “So, it’s basically a normal sibling relationship that they portrayed. Oh, and Loki is never apologetic about his violence against Thor — siblings through and through.” First of all when I see stuff like this I have deep concerns for other people’s relationships with their siblings and am reminded of how grateful I am for my sister, but secondly, I don’t get the impression that Asgardians do much apologizing overall. You don’t see Thor apologizing for violence against Loki either. Terrible habit, but it seems to be the culture they were raised in. Besides, I feel like dying for Thor multiple times is decent substitution. (And while it’s not totally clear what he was specifically referring to, it’s worth noting Loki did profusely tell Thor he was sorry on Svartalfheim.)

Number 9

1) Oh my word, I am tired of seeing this. That scene was filmed as a real death, and everyone from Tom Hiddleston to Kevin Feige continued to refer to it as such after the reshoots. I wouldn’t know where to find it right now but I know there’s a quote from Kevin about it being real and that it was only just non-fatal enough for him to survive it. The only place anyone ever says he faked it? In Ragnarok, which is already filled to the brim with retcons, and it’s said by Thor (or whoever that is in Ragnarok who took Thor’s face) who has no knowledge of what really happened, he just makes assumptions and accusations that Loki isn’t given the chance to refute. It. Was. Not. Fake.

2) “He was rather casual about it and didn’t care much about how the rest of his family would take the news.” Source? We don’t exactly get the time to see his feelings on the matter. Also, Thor is the only one who would have cared anyway. Frigga was killed and Odin wanted him dead.

Number 8

1) “One of the reasons why Loki faked his own death was to seize a great opportunity [...]” He must not be good at carrying out his own plans then, since he immediately genuinely tried to offer the throne to Thor. Thor turned it down. Was there still satisfaction from getting the chance to prove that he can be a king? Yeah, because he’s still never felt like he’s been able to prove himself as equal. The chance to prove people wrong about him, and especially the chance to prove his own worth to himself, is exciting, hence that grin at the end. He’s certainly not upset at that opportunity. But that only happened because Thor didn’t take him up on the offer.

2) “The worst part was that he cast a spell on Odin and exiled him in a retirement home on Earth.” The... the worst part? That he removed the man who would have killed Thor upon return and was willing to have all of Asgard and everyone in it destroyed? And still had the mercy to send him somewhere that he’d be safe and taken care of every single day? Uh... okay.

3) “For a time, Loki ruled the Asgardians in their process of recovery from the Dark Elves’ attack.” Yeah, exactly. Thanks for aiding my point. Even Ragnarok of all things, despite the issues I have with the way Loki was portrayed as king, still manages to prove this point by showing things on Asgard being peaceful and repaired.

Number 7

1) Mostly correct this time, but missing the context of why Loki is angry enough at Odin to want the Dark Elves to go after him. Without considering all of the lies and heartache Odin caused that sent Loki’s mind spiraling in the first place, let alone the fact that he left him to spend the next 4,000 years of his life in solitary (which is outright torture, and Loki knew it would be because he seemed to have no problem with the thought of being executed instead), it makes it sound like it was a purely petty betrayal rather than based in any reason. Loki does everything for a reason.

2) “One would think that Loki would’ve learned a lot from this but he kept on being his usual self after a short bout of guilt and anger in his cell.” First of all I think you greatly underestimate how long that’s gonna stick with Loki. Secondly, if by ‘kept on being his usual self’ you mean the immediately following scenes wherein he helps Thor go get revenge on the monsters that killed Frigga and ultimately dies to avenge her and save his brother’s life, then you forgot the actual events of canon again and also inadvertently complimented him by saying that’s normal for him.

EDIT: You know how you can watch something a thousand times and somehow it takes that thousandth time to catch something? Yeah. Anyway, Loki directed Kurse to Asgard’s power plant so he could turn the shield off. THAT is what he was directing him towards, it was to let the Elves in to get to Odin. He didn’t even unknowingly lead Kurse to Frigga, Kurse just went where Malekith was, and Malekith found Frigga because she was guarding the Stone. Kurse would have killed her anyway, Loki’s actions had no bearing on that. Hold him responsible for getting the shield shut down and letting more Elves in (while still referring to point 1 for why), but Frigga’s death never had anything to do with him because Kurse got out anyway. Loki just doesn’t know that. But a character blaming themselves doesn’t mean they’re right.

Number 6

1) Another thing I wish would stop cropping up in all discussions of Loki. Stealing the Tesseract isn’t his ~thing~. I’m annoyed with this one just on principle lol.

2) “Throughout all the MCU movies, Loki has stolen the Tesseract at least thrice, each in three different movies. He just doesn’t know when to give up.” None of those times were just for the lolz like people say. In Avengers he had to get it for Thanos to save his life. In Ragnarok, what the heck was he supposed to do, leave an Infinity Stone floating around in space for anyone to get? It’s not like it would have been destroyed with Asgard. Better to take it and keep it safe. And in Endgame, while I felt that was starting to lean too much into ‘haha I love taking the Tesseract’ territory, it was to get away from the imprisonment and possible death that would have been waiting for him in either SHIELD or Asgardian custody. Loki does everything for a reason.

Number 5

1) “[...] he immediately embraced his evil tendencies.” ROFL I’m sorry but the idea of THIS kid having had prior evil tendencies is actually hilarious.

2) “[...] killing countless innocents on Earth [...]” In canon, there were 74 fatalities in the Battle of New York, which were caused by the Chitauri that Thanos sent rather than directly by Loki. Loki’s personal kill count on Earth can be listed on one hand — literally, it’s something like 5 confirmed onscreen deaths by his hand, with several other unconfirmed ones because we just see him attack but not how badly people got hit. The 80 people that Natasha mentions were the SHIELD agents that went down with the base in the beginning, which wasn’t Loki’s doing, outside of the few guards he killed when he got there. That was pretty easy to count.

3) “[...] and probably other planets as well.” Supposition. Not even the slightest bit of hinting of that in canon. Next.

4) Loki himself was being tortured and under extreme emotional duress and mental manipulation during this movie. Not that he’s automatically 100% absolved of responsibilities, because he did make choices of his own, but again - CONTEXT. This was a fight for his life. He was not well, physically, mentally, or emotionally. There is almost nothing he did in this movie that he would do under normal circumstances in his right mind.

5) “In addition to that, he also put his homeworld of Asgard in constant danger. Odin’s words about Loki being followed by death and destruction wherever he goes definitely rang true.” If you’re referring to the first movie when he lets the Jotuns in, both instances of that were planned in such a way that no Asgardians were supposed to be in danger; he couldn’t have known the guards to the vault wouldn’t be able to take them (and that first plan was intended to protect Asgard from a young and arrogant Thor’s reign; another of few instances that can count as betrayal, but done with reason), and the second time he brought them in was specifically to kill them because, with the combination of his unstable mind and the kind of things Odin praises, he thought it would finally gain him approval from his father (and he was raised with no regard for Jotun lives therefore he didn’t even grasp that it was wrong). That’s the only time Asgard was even slightly jeopardized by Loki. In every single other instance, he is pretty darn devoted to protecting Asgard. Time and again. Odin’s words are a load of crap. Loki has only been surrounded by things like that in the last couple of years, when out of his right mind or coerced or both. This is not something that has always been, and it’s certainly hypocritical for Odin of all people to be making accusations like that when he and his favorite son have done worse things. Heck, Thor’s body count on Jotunheim in the very beginning is on its own a larger number than Loki’s body count in the entire MCU, all for being called a princess. Many of the heroes in the franchise have worse — even significantly worse — body counts than Loki.

Number 4

1) Tortured and controlled by Thanos. Next.

2) “[...] the culmination of all of Loki’s plans ever since he left Asgard to become a villain.” For one thing I love how this makes it sound like he made the conscious decision to run away and be a villain lol, but I just... you remember how he left Asgard, right? When he made a suicide attempt by falling into the void that he could not possibly think he would survive through? He didn’t exactly have future plans in mind. He was trying to die.

3) Now you’re only assuming people died? I thought it was countless?

Number 3

1) This wasn’t a takeover of Asgard. Frigga, who knew that he’s a Frost Giant, appointed him as regent for the time being. What he did with the power is what’s questionable, but the way he got it was completely legit. There was no scheming — he didn’t even want it at first. The thought of proving himself got to his head but he didn’t take the throne purposely nor was it illegally, or done in deception or under false pretenses.

2) While the things he did were wrong, it was not technically a betrayal of Odin or Asgard. He did what he did precisely because it was the sort of thing his father and his people would usually see as heroic. If you wanna call it a betrayal of Asgard for taking the risk of having Jotuns there, I guess, but not of Odin, and it was not done maliciously towards them. The ones who actually suffered for this were the Jotuns.

3) “[...] quickly transformed into one of Asgard’s most dangerous enemies.” He transformed into Odin’s enemy. If he were an enemy of Asgard he wouldn’t have spent his years on the throne protecting it.

Number 2

1) This one is mostly fair and I consider this to be the worst thing Loki’s done. However, this is hardly about shamelessness. This (and seemingly all of the article) is written in the assumption that his actions were done in his right mind. Again: he was in the middle of a mental breakdown. That doesn’t exonerate him but it’s sure as heck important context.

Number 1

(covered the image because no one needs to see that)

1) “[...] betraying the whole universe just because you can is pure evil.” Yeah, it would be. Good thing for Loki then that that’s not what he did.

2) “Loki consciously served Thanos with the initial goal of becoming ‘king’ of the Earth.” Loki was consciously fighting to stay alive because disobedience and failure would mean unimaginable horrors.

Working with Thanos is NOT something he would do just because. As far as wanting to be king of Earth goes, Thanos canonically messed with Loki’s head. He made him think that was what he wanted, just like he dug into his mind to make him angrier at Thor. Thor himself, who has known Loki their entire lives, noted that his behavior and goals were uncharacteristic of him.

3) “It seems like Loki got his just desserts on that front.” Gotta say, I’m genuinely a little horrified when I see people say that Loki deserved that death. No one deserves to have their windpipe crushed and neck snapped brutally by their abuser. That was the most gratuitously graphic character death I’ve ever seen. Even if you think he wasn’t tortured by him before and willingly joined forces with him, he still wouldn’t deserve that fate. It’s too morbid for anybody. ‘Just desserts’ is supposed to be about justice. There’s no carrying out of justice here. It’s just senseless and cruel, and done to a man who had gotten out of the dark place in his life to start anew.

~~~~~

That was longer than I ever intended to let myself get worked up over a dumb ScreenRant post but I feel better with that out of my system.

Here’s to fact-checking before making accusations that have no basis 🥂

#as usual i’m trying to stay in my lane keeping my negativity under the cut but just beware that if you click you will see bitterness #marvel #loki #marvel critical #ragnarok critical #tbh mostly article writers critical #i long for the day when people stop writing about things that they don’t know well enough while acting like they’re obviously right

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atopearth · 4 years

Text

Subarashiki Hibi (Wonderful Everyday Down the Rabbit-Hole) Part 1 - Kagami Ending, Tsukasa Ending and Rabbit Hole Endings

Down the Rabbit-Hole Hmmmm I’m not sure what to expect from this story, the only thing I know about it is that it’s a really highly rated VN? I didn’t expect the MC to be the girl though! She seems pretty cool? She kinda reminds me of Oosaki Nana, punkish, cool and does whatever they want? The random falling dolls from the rooftop by Zakuro were weird. I was surprised that Yuki caught the doll though, if it was a real human, she could have died! Anyway, if I was Kagami, I’d be so frustrated with Yuki lol, she does things for her with good intentions and yet all Yuki thinks about is stuff like Kagami killing her, sigh. Tsukasa is funny though, she’s the youngest and the cutest, but she’s like the big boss that they both end up always listening to because of how scary she can get lol. Gotta wonder why Yuki is so whatever with Zakuro wanting to live with her, like dude, how well do you know her? Even you think she’s weird! Lmao at Tsukasa conning Yuki into taking them in too. Well… I guess this is how it feels if you have a harem…lol. Not sure how I’m feeling with all this “fanservice” and slice of life stuff, it’s not very interesting imo, mainly because I’m not that fond of the characters? They’re rather bland to me tbh. Okay, I guess this is what happens when you go into a game blind, did not expect them to go naked around each other playing the king game, and then even kiss Yuki?!

Kagami Ending So yahhh, going by the endings, I guess whoever you kiss is whoever’s ending. That French kiss was like whoa though. I knew they were all thirsty for Yuki but dang. It’s a bit funny but I do feel what Yuki feels whenever I look out the windows of the train going to the same destination as I always do. It feels like it’s always the same scenery everyday, but some things have actually changed without me noticing. It’s kinda weird when you think about it, I guess what’s really not changing aren’t the buildings and sceneries I see, but actually myself. I probably reflect myself in these sceneries, so if my life hasn’t really changed, if my journey to and fro is still the same, then my mind probably just assumes that everything around me continues as is. Although really, I’m probably being left behind by this world that constantly changes. Spontaneous journeys are always nice, but I wonder if this supposed person Zakuro liked before and that has changed in appearance is actually Yuki? Like, was Yuki a guy before or something? I really liked the segment where Yuki plays the piano for Zakuro, it was really cool to be able to actually hear the musical pieces!

Well, that star gazing leading to sex in the classroom was really intense LOL. Let’s just say….the CGs were pretty NSFW and they went at it quite a bit..! Lol! Honestly, I’ve never really encountered a full on sex scene in VNs since I’ve really only played innocent otome games and other VNs such as Clannad etc that don’t have these so I don’t know how to feel about it tbh! Loll, it’s so awkwardly uncomfortable that I have to admit, I kinda skimmed through it as fast as possible LOL. Anyway, I wonder if Zakuro leaving and stuff means she goes to different illusory worlds to see Yuki and if she’s happy in that world, she just goes on to the next one or something? It’s kinda unexpected how much Kagami likes to be teased by Yuki though loll.

Tsukasa Ending Well, I kinda knew Tsukasa would be the more ferocious one compared to Yuki and her sister. She legit just goes all in for the kiss after getting permission, like dang, isn’t it uncomfortable to watch this going on fpor the others?! Hahaha. And yep, nothing different besides the partner being Tsukasa so yeah nothing much to say about that.

Rabbit-Hole 1 Ending I wonder if Zakuro decides to only do something to “redeem” whatever she did to Yuki’s another self in another world (I assume) when Yuki doesn’t really seem satisfied or is dissatisfied with her current situation in that world? That creepy ride was…interesting though? I’m not sure how to feel about it since it felt like they went to another world or something. Hmmmm so as expected, Yuki is the girl who is the world itself so whatever she wills and believes in continues as is and exists? But then what exactly is Zakuro? Someone from an external world trying to bring Yuki out of her internal world because she’s so stuck in it? Ooooh, so everything started on that day the “doll” fell on Yuki. It wasn’t a doll and was actually Zakuro and that caused this whole thing to come about and for Zakuro to come into Yuki’s world and bring her back to reality I guess?

Rabbit-Hole 2 Ending Hmm two new girls with Zakuro huh~ What does she mean by she’ll save the world? And lolll, I guess I see why Tsukasa and Kagami are so fond of Yuki, they used to think she was a boy and always believed her to be a prince in shining armour because she protected them all the time, until she suddenly started wearing skirts and they realised they misunderstood loll. Anyway, I’m surprised to hear that Zakuro and those two girls committed suicide together by jumping off a roof. Is that their way of saving the world? Or did someone stop them/kill them before they could do anything about this world? Lolll, Yuki’s antics with the others are amusing as well as frustrating as usual, but that Web Bot project thing is very…interesting. Something that collects information about people’s thoughts etc all over the internet to predict the future huh? I guess what’s most unsettling is the fact that because of Zakuro’s last words to Yuki, she can’t help but link them together. But I guess the most chilling thing is the email.. The words about the world ending and Zakuro hurting isn’t exactly scary, but the thought of someone taking a photo of the girls’ corpses after their jump to death and sending it around to people’s emails on Zakuro’s email account is definitely rather distasteful. However, for me, whenever someone asks Yuki whether she thinks the world really will end on July 20, I can’t help but think whether there’s a reason they chose July 20? It’s kinda unsettling to think about everything happening on my RL birthday! Hahaha.

I have to admit that I love Yuki imitating Kagami’s tsundere attitude lmao. Otherwise, I didn’t think Takuji would degenerate into this…creepy thing, like wth happened? Tbh, despite the “insanity” Takuji seems to be going through, his words about death being a reality and something pushed back by everyone/media etc to be something far off all the time when it could actually be really close to you is something I can see and understand. I’m not sure what Takuji hopes to achieve with his little speech though, why must people have to comprehend that the world will be ending and accept this supposed truth anyway? Why does he think he needs to spread this? Btw, I love Ayana’s personality, she’s so stoic yet hilarious, I think she’s my favourite character hahaha.

Hmm, a lot of things happened, but at the same time, nothing much happened? The mystery continues with more deaths, and more disappearances of school students. I’m pretty disappointed that Yuki took so long to realise that Kagami and Tsukasa disappeared, like c'mon!! They always check up on you!! Otherwise, I can’t tell how things are going, is the answer to all this something abstract with the worlds, or is it something to do with humans? Honestly, when Yuki found Kagami’s body with her limbs cut off, and Tsukasa crying beside it saying that Kagami kept saying she wanted to go home when everyone else called her a demon and tortured her, it broke my heart. Kagami stood up to Mamiya in class, she was always brave despite being a scaredy cat, she was always so kind, I’m so devastated that she was treated like that in her last moments.

I don’t think I get the ending… Am I supposed to? Lol. It just feels like…everyone loves Yuki, and that they all want to end their own “worlds” if they have their respective worlds, just so she can keep hers as the only one? Like, only one soul should be kept or something in the world right? So, I guess Mamiya wanted to kill everyone to keep her and her world intact? Yeah, I dunno loll. I’m not sure what Ayana represents, is she an overseer or something? One of those animals that just look at that’s happening, or maybe she’s one of Yuki’s books, passing off knowledge to her when needed. Who knows if anyone in Yuki’s world is even human! Maybe they’re all just different things represented by her lol. Maybe like in the first part, just as Zakuro wanted to save her, this time, Takuji wanted to try and save her in his own way by giving her her own world that will always be hers undisturbed? No possibilities of people taking her out of this world, and he wants her to be able to live here happily forever having a wonderful everyday even if it means no one is there? Anyway, I’m super confused, so hopefully I can see things clearer in the next ending?

#subarashiki hibi #subahibi

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icharchivist · 5 years

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My personal theory on Kanda's falling is that Mugen doesn't want him to kill Allen. I do believe all Innocences have sentience. But I also believe they all share common goal. Timothy's Innocence recognized Apocryphos but kept quiet about it. It may have even known what it was going to do to Allen for all we know. Kanda has stated he is going to kill Allen when he becomes the 14th but Innocence might be like, um how bout you not he's our DOT. =/ Innocence seems to believe in Allen (w/or w/o Apo)-

2 If Kanda showed the same faith and desire for knowledge Allen did he might not be falling. It's possible if he goes back to the Order and gets better it's not because he's there. It's because he's showing ambition to uncover the truth about the Order. Right now I'm getting a anti Innocence vibe from the higher ups. Lveille hates Innocence as much as dark matter. If the Thirds project worked they'd probably focus more on upgrading and spreading it to as many people as possible to the point -

3 where Innocence isn't as important to them (in their own arrogance). Humans will deliver humans they'd probably say. Lenalee's Innocence probably struggled w/Lenalee's hatred of it and complete desire to not want to fight at all. It's not fair to Lenalee but she had to push on devote herself to not just the Innocence, but a world outside her own that she does not care as much for. I think what I'm getting at here is the Exorcists are very ignorant about everything right now. Why is this war-

4 war happening? What is Dark Matter and Innocence and what are their agendas and origins? Why does the Noah family hate humanity? Recent chapters have shown they and we the readers know very little about the truth of the dgm world. I believe the Bookman knowing it (or close enough to it) will be a game changer in how we see things. The lack of knowledge the Exorcists have keep them in literal darkness. I believe the Innocence has agendas beyond and the Order is just a pit stop for it. If -

5 any of the Exorcists showed the same pure convictions as Allen alongside their Innocence, I believe they'd be able to go if they thought the Order wasn't the best place to fight at. Like fighting w/Allen for the same purposes. That's why I think whenever Allen finds this Third side he could give another option on where to fight (my personal theory this will happen around the time the old Order goes kaboom though so that's largely where I'm coming from).

Oooh a lot of good points there!

You’re right about Kanda’s innocence, I could see something similar. Whatever happens I do feel like Mugen is trying to... warn Kanda against his intends. And those had been more warnings than actual problems.(there is also something as in, there is a theory Past!Kanda died nearby the Campbell mansion when Nea was very young. Some aspect of Mugen may perhaps remember that to some extend depending details too? which could make it even more conflicted).

I feel like Mugen specifically could be conflicted about how to deal with Allen (are they helping a Noah, another dark matter monster? are they just getting in the way of Apo, of making him the DOT? Is it that Kanda is not doing his duty? I thin it’s proabbly more the two formers than the later). But might have a stronger non-Order feeling than say, Lenalee’s. It might just be speculations or headcanons there but considering Past!Kanda died about 20 years before Kanda came back to life or so, and that the experiments had been going on for a while often reseting, I feel like Mugen would have realized that what the Order was doing was against its will, and how much suffering it involved.

So the idea to try to unveil the conspiracy inside of the Order and its corruption could also be something Mugen would agree about since it has lived it first hand as well. A safer thing to think about than the conflict Allen is provoking.

Would Kanda seek for knowledge instead of watching out for Allen.... I don’t know about Mugen, perhaps it would leave him a freeway. Kanda and Mugen are pretty close as far as bounds between exorcist and innocence go, so i could see Mugen being... unsure and trying to slow down Kanda until it can be more sure about what they are doing.

And agreed for the Order. I do think there is this sort of frustration in the higher ups that had been vagued at a few time, is that dark matter can be used on anything and anyone - it is so easy to make Akuma, you can easily put dark matter in someone’s body ect... But innocence is so picky. There are officially only 109 bits of innocences and a lot have been destroyed, a lot had not been recovered. The innocence must chose its fighter so you need to travel until the innocence connects to someone, and then the person must agree to follow you and get involved in the war. And its most powerful piece, the Heart, hides itself at all cost. In comparaison to the Noah who have no need to be convinced into their sides, the Earl being wide in the open and the Egg being opened to the Noah in general, and the Dark matter being that easy to spread, there could be resentment about how the innocence is basically leaving the humans to fend for themselves while the enemies have no problem spreading.

And innocence is by default, hard to control. You can’t force an innocence into someone (and god knows they tried), you cannot force the heart to get to them, and on top of that forcing its acomodators to do stuff often backfire.

And the Order had a series of shitty plan that might have made them resent the innocence even more: how come the innocence not cooperate when we’re basically reuniting it with its accomodator from a previous life in a new body? how come the innocence not cooperate when we present them with someone of the same bloodline than their previous accomodator? so on and so forth. They would put the blame for their failing onto the innocence not cooperating and forcing them to others way.

In a way the Third Project was a godsend for the Order (lol). It was everything they wished with the innocence: being able to arm anyone who would want to fight without thinking about whenever they were “chosen” or not, not bothering about the picky 109′s innocences limitations. Would the incident with Alma not have happened, this would have been their best chance into developping an actual armforce that could go one-to-one with how many akuma are spread on Earth. As well as not moral and completely disregarding of the Akuma’s souls obviously, but this was never the Order’s priority was it.

And yeah completely agree about Lenalee’s. I feel like Lenalee’s innocence might have found her ungrateful for all it has done for Lenalee over the years, even moreso after it was pushed to major limits and was unable to fight again and spent its time to protect Lenalee while it couldn’t fight back. I feel like there might have been something frustrating for the innocence if pushed to its limits to have Lenalee be screaming at it for being useless while it already surpassed its limits against Eshii and is now trying to save Lenalee’s life - leading to, once the innocence rested, wanting Lenalee to prove her devotion even further. Thus showing even more that Lenalee would save the whole world if needed and that she was ready for everything the Innocence would put her through.

But cooooompletely agreeing about everything about the ignorance of the exorcists. And tbh that was always the problem: the Order was not driven to understand why it is happening, but about how to make it useful to win the war. As a result there is a severe misunderstanding and a gap between what the innocence wants and what the Exorcists believe it should behave as.

I do think in a way the Order seems like the best alternative for the Innocence because they still know better than an isolated exorcist, but this is not something that is good on the long term and i doubt it’s something most of the innocences are thrilled about. They’re using the Order as much as the Order is using them in a way. And until they can really trust the Exorcists to do the right things for the sake of doing so, the innocence might priviligize the Order’s organization rather than individuals. Would individuals show as much willpower as Allen... I feel like it would depend on the innocences. Krory’s has disregarded his consent a long time when he was in the village for exemple, while Miranda’s had priviligized what Miranda wanted above all. So it depends also what the innocences would consider better also for their own focus? It’s a complicated issue. Allen has a way out - i just don’t think everyone can copy it that easily.

But there are all those questions that need to be understood and i do think that would answers come, a dialogue with the current innocences might be able to be put in places. Some exorcists might not even bother talking with their innocence (hell, Lavi’s and Bookman’s case are still astonishing with how little they care, and it is astonishing the innocence gave them a free leeway. Unless the innocence does recognize the Bookman’s goal somewhat? That would be... something. and weird.).

So in order to change things there must be this knowledge and like you said, I feel like the Bookmen might be the one to bring us at least onto the path that would lead the innocences and the exorcists to trust each other without the organization of the Order holding them back and a possibility of a third sie happening.

It doesn’t change I doubt the Order will go down, letting its exorcists go, without a fight. And that will be a problem.

Either way like you said, the Order as we know it is going to go down - from reform or from absolute destruction. And the Third side, based much more on the knowledge of how things are going, will be much more likely to help the Exorcists and innocences to work together like planned without the Order as a safety net.

But well... We’ll see in time i guess? orz

#ichafantalks dgm #Anonymous #ichareply

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psychiquazar · 6 years

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BMC au

So I copy-and-pasted my entire old wiki entry from amino bc a few peeps wanted to know more 👀 Entry: this is not a Michael x Jeremy au. I just ship them a lot lol So,, I'm horrible at explaining things, especially through writing,,,,, and this is my first time actually sharing my au ideas (I also suck at grammar and stuff, just a little heads up-) I actually had way too many ideas so I made two different "routes" I guess you could say--- BlueEnd: •They either can't find Mtn Dew Red, or it doesn't get rid of SQUIPsfter searching the dEeP iNtErWeBs at like four in the morning with his SQUIP deactivated, Jeremy finds that the only way he can shut off his SQUIP is by drinking blue Mtn Dew instead •However, he doesn't know that doing so will cause all the SQUIPs in the world to reset and shut off, killing whoever drinks the soda in the process. Since all the SQUIPs have restarted, that person becomes the new SQUIP ((they're stripped of their memories and personality tho)) •but wait,,, doesn't that mean Jeremy's SQUIP used to be.. • "the play" happens as it does in the normal musical but with blue instead of red Mtn Dew •Michael brings some, Jake spills some, blah blah blah- •With his only best friend gone because of him, Michael of course becomes VERY upset •after a few weeks of not being able to take the feels, he gets........ a SqUiP •and who is that SQUIP?? jErEmY hEeRe Boiiiii •but, because of the tiiiiiiny amount of soda that Jeremy got, the process of him becoming a SQUIP was not able to be carried out completely and he turns out defective :( BadEnd!Jeremy {I don't want to get into detail too much as I might make another wiki entry for this, but heere's the basic idea} • it's literally the same as BlueEnd but the process of Jeremy turning into a SQUIP followed through just fine • he doesn't have his memories ;(( •hEs MeAn To ThE pOoR iNnOcEnT mIcHeAl •he also sucks a little at helping Michael gain popularity, which makes him even more frustrated Okay whatever enough o' that y'all,, Heere are like facts and stuff about BlueEnd!Jeremy If you haven't seen or heard the full audio of the musical, Jeremy's SQUIP states that you can change the appearance of your SQUIP. Michael liked Jeremy for who he was, so his clothes and build is still pretty much the same. The only differences are the collar of his coat and the glitchy stripes of his shirt and end of his coat and jeans. When very emotional, his irises/pupils and "robot veins"? glow brighter and the dark part of his eyes grow much darker I'm not actually sure if Jeremy has freckles, but if he does, they're all different shades of blue, green, and yellow They also glow when he's emotional nicknames?🤷🏽‍♀️ {Obviously these are all from Michael since he's really the only person that can see him lol} Jer/Jeremy boyf, imaginary boyfriend, and SQUIP jokingly/out of sarcasm full name yo Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor He's not Jeremy anymore homies ;'(( songs I guess??? Jeremy's theme, duh Two-player game!!! fun and maybe some sad facts,, ;'0 * since Jeremy is defective, he still has some human emotions * because of this, he has the ability to cry :""((( * he will also deactivate at random, and has to be constantly reactivated with Mtn Dew * Michael carries A LOT of Mtn Dew in his backpack * Michael first thought that Jeremy was a ghost coming to haunt him after giving him the "death soda" * Jeremy can play music through Michael's headphones * Jeremy kinda has a thing against the color blue now * Since Jeremy's a SQUIP, he can understand when Micheal says things in Visayan/Tagalog now! ((Filipino languages)) If he does speak that anyway haha * Sometimes he still has "SQUIP-like" urges * At times his "SQUIPly knowledge" goes away and he sucks at math *When this happens, he'll sometimes still get nervous around others, even though no one can see him * Because of Michael's huge surplus of Mtn Dew, he drinks it alllllll the time * Micheal wears his headphones almost 24/7 now since he can "hear" Jeremy in his brain *He still talks to him most of the time tho, so people think he's crazy lol That's all the ideas I have right now,, hope they're sorta decent

#BMC #be more chill #Michael mell #Jeremy heere #boyf riends

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exo-can · 6 years

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Growing Pains: I Miss You

A collection inspired by Adele’s album 25

Order: 1) When We Were Young 3)River Lea 4)Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

WARNING: Language, some soft smut (rare i know lol)

gif originally posted by @vanillalattaes

A/N: Although its not required, i would recommend reading this series in the order i release them as im doing it in a sort of star wars fashion lol. It won’t affect you storyline wise though if you choose to read this one first (: enjoy my lovlies

The room felt as suffocatingly tense as it was quiet. The only reprieve from the silence being a small cough or the frustrated tapping of a pencil once in a while. Desperately, you willed yourself to ignore it, eyes determined to remain on your page, as though staring at the blank space was going to will the answer to simply appear. Why the fuck did I listen to the counsellor and take this course? Your pupils flitted over the question again, as though you had expected to find some hint to the answer. I wanted a publishing internship, not a crash course on how music affects literature!

Exactly one month ago, on this very day, you signed over your sanity by signing up for this Theory and Analysis class. To be fair, you didn't think that examining a few notes and a poem here and there would be too hard. In fact, you’d even called it a cake walk. Boy, oh boy, were you ever wrong. The knowledge that you would have been able to get the internship was in the back of your mind; you were a good student with a strong GPA. Yet, you still wanted something to give you even the slightest edge over your competitors, which is when the school course advisor suggested this. You had agreed at the time. After all, so many authors now were also musicians, so it could give you a connection or even an insight to their work that perhaps other interns might not have. Now, you wholeheartedly regretted that decision.

Sighing, you slumped into your chair which made a loud squeak. Heads whipped in your direction, icy glares making you sink lower, mouthing a silent ‘sorry.’ Once your peers turned back around you sighed once more, rubbing your fingertips into the temples of your skull, making it look to anyone who glanced at you like you were meditating in your seat. C’mon, Y/N, an internal peptalk starting in your head, You’re not gonna let this ruin your GPA. Schumann, Schumann, Schumann… or was it Schubert? Motherfu-- You could feel your forehead wrinkling in concentration, when a small snicker snapped you out of your trance. Knowing exactly who it came from, your eyes squinted at Taehyung, who was in the desk beside you, menacingly. Lifting your hand, you raised your most favourite finger at the moment, Taehyung only grinning at you like a child in response before turning back to his own test. Rolling your eyes, you were about to do the same, when your vision was halted on a head of black hair just past Taehyung.

You didn't know him personally, only through mutual friends. Honestly, you’d never even really spoken to him. You only knew what you heard, which was a fair amount. His name was Min Yoongi. He was a music major, but you didn't really know whether he composed or played. That wasn’t really what the other girls liked to discuss. The seemingly much more interesting topic was his love life. Yoongi was good looking, it was no secret. There was something so interesting about his sharp features and cat-like eyes. Even you had to admit it, staring at his face from three desks down like the creepiest person in existence. But he was also known to dine and dash, so to speak. There were a good amount of girls who claimed to have slept with him, but never had anyone seen him actually with someone beyond one night, so it was widely disputed whether they ever actually had slept together. However, there was one detail that remained the same with every girl; he never contacted or even spoke to any of them after. Looking at him now, you didn't really think someone like him could be that cruel. Someone who was close with your new-found friend, Taehyung, could never be. Taehyung was one of the most kind hearted people you’d ever met, despite the teasing.

Normally, these sorts of traits were a bit of a turn off for you; most guys who falled into the category he was described as all ended up being the same. And ultimately boring. You’d played that game before and had long since grown tired of it. Yet as you scanned his profile, you mused that maybe you wouldn’t mind dealing yourself in once more to relieve pent up stress, if nothing else.

Taehyung knew him personally, so you knew it would only be a matter of time before you were introduced. Placing your head in your palm, your rested your elbow on your desk. Distantly, you wondered what kind of person he would actually turn out to be. His fingers deftly swiped his pencil back and forth on his paper. You couldn’t read exactly what he wrote, but you were surprised at how full his page his was, only infringing a slight amount of guilt on you for neglecting your own test. Watching, you admired how nimble, yet thin his hands were. Long fingers gripped the pencil strong enough that the veins in his hand could be seen, when suddenly they stopped their movements. Your eyes traveled back up his frame, only to meet his own curious ones. Immediately you snatched your gaze away, your head practically flying out of your palm in sheer panic. Reaching your fingers out to grab your own pencil far too hastily, it clattered to the floor deafeningly. Heads all turning back to you, each person seemed to be sending you telepathic prayers that your would just mysteriously disappear for disturbing them once more. The floor was the only thing you could safely look at as your cheeks flushed red and you dived for your pencil. Retrieving it you immediately hid your tomato face behind your hands with your elbows on the desk and stared down at your paper with more focus than ever. Unable to look, you could hear the other students turning back around in their seats resentfully as you shook your head at your own embarrassment. Such. An. Idiot.

“So, Yoongi said something to me the other day.” The coffee in your mouth suddenly tasted bitter despite the disgusting amount of sugar and caramel syrup in it.

Struggling to avoid spitting the liquid all over the pavement as you walked beside Taehyung, you attempted to compose yourself though the incident from last week surged to the forefront of your mind. Humiliation resurfacing and panic setting in because there was absolutely no way in hell Taehyung would ever let you live this down. Patting your chest and then sticking out your tongue as though the drink had burned your tongue after you swallowed. When you finally replied, your voice was thick with the attempt to feign innocence. “Oh? About?”

“You.” Your heart felt like it was falling through the floor.

“Really? What did he say?” You replied, despite knowing you were most likely caught and were about to face a face full of ridicule that would last until graduation in 4 years.

“He kinda just asked who you were, seeing as we’ve been attached at the hip since orientation.” A glimmer of hope shined on the horizon. “To be honest, I thought he was gonna ask if you had some sort of condition because of all the drool pouring out of your mouth last week.”

And there it went. “You saw?!”

“Pretty sure the whole class did, Y/N.” He simpered when you batted him with your free arm.

“Ass,” you muttered into the lid of your coffee.

“It’s okay if you have a crush on him. He’s a good guy, for the most part.” Taehyung commented, his last addition perking your interest. What does that mean? “Besides, I maybe, sorta, have a little thing for your friend…”

“Haerin?” You looked at him, puzzled seeing as they’d met all of one time and it was very brief. Sheepishly, he shook his head and it dawned on you, pausing mid step on the sidewalk. “Wait, Luna?!”

Rolling his eyes, he didn’t slow his pace, forcing you to jog forward to keep up once the initial shock wore off.

“You do know she’s head over heels for her boyfriend, right?” He nodded, a scowl on his face. “And that they’ve been together for nearly two years?”

“Yes, Y/N.” His voice was slightly aggravated. “It’s a crush. It’s not like i'm going to propose.”

A twinge of unease poked at your stomach as you realized you weren't exactly being supportive. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed when nothing comes from it, Tae.”

The corner of his mouth turned upwards and he patted your shoulder. “Don’t worry, I know there's not really a chance of anything happening.” His grin grew in size, mischief brewing beneath his irises. “You, on the other hand, have some hope. Which would be why I invited Yoongi to the library with us.”

Once again, you halted in your steps, mortified at what your friend had done. “You did what?!”

“Would you stop doing that?” Taking two steps back, he gripped your arm and pulled you forward. “For one, you’re going to spill coffee all over yourself. Second, he’s waiting for us.”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He giggled as he let his grip on your arm go.

“Seriously, Tae.” You whined. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m going home.”

“No, you aren’t.” He shook his head. “He’s already seen you.”

Snapping your eyes in the direction which Taehyung was now waving, you spotted him. Leaning against the railing of the steps to the old campus library, he looked cosy. Bundled in a gray scarf and a long, black, tweed coat, you could see a tinge of rouge powdering his nose from the chill October air. Pulling a hand out of his pocket, he gave a wave back before delving the limb back into his pocket in search of warmth. His face is a little puffy in the morning, you remarked. Cute. Eyes twitched over to you, a new flush of red dusting your own cheeks at being caught staring once again. Averting your eyes to the tops of your shoes, a weird pulling sensation made your insides squirm.

Steeling your nerves, you did your best to at least appear composed as the gap between you and Yoongi dwindled. By the time you reached him, your internal panic levels had reduced a little, though you still felt like bolting in the opposite direction to avoid the imminent awkwardness. Playing with the lid of your coffee, your shoes scuffed to a stop once Taehyung did the same. Letting your eyes drift upward, it came as a surprise to find him being the one staring for a change, though he made no move to conceal it. You did your best to read him, but it was to no avail, his face remaining as stoic as ever. It was Taehyung who was the first to speak, a knowing grin on his face as he drew the pair of your’s attention away from one another. “Y/N, this is Yoongi.”

A self-conscious smile flashed across your lips as you murmured a short, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Yoongi’s sultry tone took you off guard; you didn’t expect someone like him to have such a deep, raspy voice.

“You look tired.” Taehyung interjected.

Yoongi scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I was up a little late last night.”

“Aw shit I forgot, your project was due this morning right?” Taehyung replied apologetically, to which his friend nodded. “You didn’t have to come! We could’ve done this later.”

“No, that’s okay.” His dark irises fluttered to you briefly. “I wanted to.”

“Right.” Taehyung smirked, brushing past Yoongi to the steps that lead to the library. “Let’s go then.”

Following behind, you walked up the steps to the door, Yoongi taking up the rear. Taehyung didn’t bother to hold the door for you, forcing you to reach out to catch it with a flash of annoyance. “Hey!”

Taehyung snickered as people immediately shushed you, a blush fanning across your cheeks for letting him goad you. Whispering under your breath, you commented on your friends child like antics, “Dick.”

A breathless laugh came from behind you. Sneaking a glance back, Yoongi’s eyes were reduced to slivers, his cheeks higher from hiding a grin in the depths of his scarf. Weaving through the library, you did your best to quell the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Your efforts not doing much as frustration took hold at how he’d barely even said a word, but somehow made you feel like you were back in highschool, pining for some guy. Never one to fall fast, it was odd for you to feel this nervous around a guy. You weren't a stranger to hookups, but a part of you wondered if it was just because it had been a little while.

Brushing the thoughts away, you focus on not hitting one of the various tables as Taehyung led you into one of the group study rooms where talking was permitted. Yoongi was the last to enter, closing the door softly behind him. Setting your half-empty drink on the table, you shrugged your backpack off along with your jacket. Thank god, you’d decided that your comfiest sweatpants and sweater were a bit too musky to wear in public. Settling into your chair, you unloaded your books as Taehyung sat across from you and placed his things on the chair beside him, leaving the one beside you the only chair left for Yoongi to take. He didn’t seem at all fazed though, barely batting an eye at Taehyung's obviousness as he took up the place beside you. Taking off his coat and scarf, he opted to keep the beanie on, which you didn’t mind at all as he looked like a walking-talking advertisement for it. His black hair poked out the front and sides, a glimmer of an earring catching your eye. Shaking your head you averted your gaze to your book, forcing yourself to read the text. I’m starting to understand why these girls rave about him….

“Y/N?” Taehyung snapped you out of your reverie, “you aren’t going to study our theory class?”

“No. I’ve been studying that all week.” You replied, defeated. “I’m pretty sure that my head is actually going to explode if I do.”

“Fair,” Taehyung chuckled. “I just thought maybe you’d wanna ask Yoongi for some help seeing as how great your last test went.”

Quirking your head, you said, “I’m sure he has his own stuff too; I don't wanna unload on anyone--”

“He got 93 percent on the test.”

Your head immediately turned to the side, mouth slightly agape. You never knew he got such good grades; it wasn’t exactly something people talked about. He looked a little unnerved by your reaction, “I don’t mind--”

“Please.” You cut him off, nearly facepalming at your lack of tact. “I mean, if you don’t mind, could you please help me? Only if you have the time though. Again, I don’t wanna cause you any trouble--”

�� “Y/N,” The sound of your name leaving his lips made your stomach flip. “It’s no bother; it helps me study it too.”

The sun had just began to descend when Taehyung had left the two of you to your own devices, though you didn't really notice. On the exterior, Yoongi seemed like a gruff sort of person, but as he started teaching you, you found out that wasn't at all the case. He went through notes and old tests so patiently with you, never complaining when you got a question wrong even if it was the fourth time you’d been over it. Not once. Gentle fingers glided over the pages of your old text book, showing you references and dates while keeping the page open until he was sure you understood. As you studied, you realized that he wasn’t just taking a course because society expected him to; he was passionate about music.

The proximity between you had eventually began to close as your timidness wore off and you felt more comfortable with him. Your bodies now only centimeters apart. He was close enough that you could smell his cologne and his arm would sometimes brush against yours, sending a tingle up your spine. Doing your best to focus, you only snuck glances at him when he was reading from the textbook. There were smaller things you’d noticed about him now; his tendency to fiddle with his pencil, the miniscule freckle just to the right of his nose, and the way his lips settled into a pout whenever he rested his features. An urge to know more about him lingered, the study session only fueling your intrigue instead of burning it out as it usually did when you met a guy like this. As time wore on, excitement still gurgled inside you but guilt couldn’t help but convolute your heart. This entire time he’d only been helping you instead of studying his own things.

“I’m sorry,” You apologized after getting a question wrong, noting that the clock on the wall read 5 pm. “We can stop now.”

Yoongi quirked his head, “Why?”

“I’ve taken up your whole day.” You sighed.

“I told you I didn’t mind.”

“Yeah, i know...” you trailed off, still unsatisfied. A silence ensued as you cursed your own selfishness and began to pack your things back up while Yoongi remained still.

“Treat me, then.” His comment made you pause.

“What?”

“If you feel that bad,” He reasoned, following your actions and packing up before sending you a grin, “go to dinner with me.”

Your eyes grew wide at the suggestion, heat flaring up inside you. Gathering your bearings, you did your best to appear unaffected though from the way Yoongi smirked, you knew it was already too late. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?”

“No,” he replied teasingly, “i’m pretty sure I only asked you to treat me.”

Your face dropped into a frown. Hoisting your backpack up, you brushed past him to the door of the group study room muttering, “I can see why you and Taehyung are friends now.”

A throaty chuckle sounded behind you and you couldn’t help the corners of your mouth from upturning ever so slightly.

“You're joking right?” Digging your chin into your jacket, your eyes danced over neon lights, flashing from every direction. The street was crowded, which made sense considering the time. Some people rushed through, while others doddled along gazing at each sign as they passed various vendors. The unmistakable scent of food wafted toward you, making your mouth salivate. “You could have picked an actual restaurant; i’m not that cheap.”

“I never said you were. I happen to love street food, thanks.” Yoongi grinned at you, scarf muffling his words a little. Like many others, his catlike eyes scanned each stall, a playful expression on his face as he lurched down the road. “Besides, if we went to a restaurant people might mistake this as a date and think im an ass for not paying.”

“When are you going to stop teasing me about that?!” You elbowed him in the side, the redness in your cheeks only accentuating your pout as you muttered, “Any girl would make the same mistake.”

A small laugh left his lips, making your stomach flutter, “C’mon.”

A gust of wind brushed your back, sending a chill down your spine. “Are you sure you don't want to go to a restaurant?”

“Positive,” He immediately responded, his face brightening when he found the stall he’d been looking for. “They have all my favourites here.”

“But, it’s cold out here.” You whined.

A look of realization crossed his features, his eyes scanning your figure which was nearly folding in on itself to contain some warmth. Placing a hand on your arm to stop you, he replied, “Wait here for a sec.”

Confused, you watched as he turned his back on you and headed down one of the various streets. Standing awkwardly on the pavement, you itched to follow him, but obeyed anyway. Pulling your hands together in front of your mouth, you breathed into them. A split second of bliss graced them before disappearing, leaving you to rub them against one another vigorously to try and keep a fraction of that warmth. So focused on your task, you almost didn’t notice when he reappeared in front of you, his hand full of something you couldn't quite make out. The palms of your hands stopped their rubbing motions as his hand grabbed yours and pulled it toward him. Placing a squishy package in your hand, he reached into his pocket to pull out another as warmth bloomed in your palm. Cracking the pack, he handed the other one over, “Put those ones in your shoes.”

It was then that you realized you’d been staring at him, dumbfounded. Snapping yourself out of it, you nodded numbly. Crouching, you lifted the tongue of each sneaker, shoving the hot packs in one by one. Wiggling your toes, you relished in the warmth before rising up to your feet. While you’d been doing what you were told, Yoongi pulled two more out and burst the bubble in each. Slender fingers grabbed your hands, placing the packs in your palms before curling them over yours to make your hand into a fist. Taking hold of your wrists, he pushed your hands into your pockets while you stood like a mannequin, letting him control you. Reaching up, he unraveled his scarf from around his neck, the bottom half of his face revealing itself. Zipping up his coat to the top, he gently curled his scarf around your neck, the pads of his fingers brushing against your skin faintly. Eyes studying the fabris, he only ceasing his fiddling with his when he was happy with how it encased you.

“Yoongi,” you began to protest, only for him to cut your words short.

“Better?”

Nodding in response, you bit your lip hesitantly, “But what about you?’

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll be fine.” Again at the mention of your name, your heart seemed to press forward against your ribs, only swelling when he gave you a reassuring smile that made his eyes crinkle. “Let's go eat.”

Though you hated to admit it, you were thankful to Taehyung. After that night of eating and talking about random things, Yoongi started to become someone you saw frequently in your life. It would be a little bold to call you friends, but more accurate to say you were a smidge more than study buddies. Pulling out textbooks and going through notes together became a weekly thing, sometimes more depending on how much work you had. Just the same as the first time, Yoongi was patient with you. After a few weeks, he even started to ask you questions to about classes he found more difficult even if it wasn't something you took either. He claimed he just needed a different perspective, which you were eager to provide seeing as your mark in the class you shared had gone up by a whopping 10 percent since he’d begun helping you. You found it regretful though that you couldn't be of more help. It’d been two months since the two of you started hanging around each other and though you were happy to have him around, you couldn't help but feel frustrated.

The more time you spent with him, the more you ached to know him on a deeper level. You weren't new to relationships, but you'd never really been this curious about someone. Time would slow when you weren’t with him, a yearning to be in his presence gradually growing until he took up most of your thoughts. Daydreams danced in your head about whether he was a good kisser, if he’d turn out like every other guy you’d eventually grown bored with, and what kind of person he was under his guarded exterior. If you were honest, you felt pathetic that you were in college and some guy who had never even kissed you, let alone touch you in a way that wasn't an accidental brush of the skin, had this effect on you. But you also craved to learn what it would feel like if he did.

Somewhere among your studying and coffee runs, you’d made it your goal to satiate your curiosity. You didn’t aim so high as to date, just to hook up at least once. However, only disappointment greeted you. Not once had he ever made a move to touch you. Occasionally there were flirtatious jabs, but never anything more. Eventually, you started to wonder if maybe you just weren’t his type and the girls who seemed to hover and whisper all around you were.

Whenever you were with the man, hushed voices followed. You knew what they were wondering; why was he hanging out with you so much? Were you dating? What made you so different? Sometimes you’d chuckle, earning a confused glance from Yoongi which you’d always brush off. Other times you’d find yourself moping because they were far from the truth. Right now, it was the latter.

“Did you see that chick who left Yoongi's dorm yesterday morning?” Jimin, one of Taehyungs friends, questioned your circle of friends sitting at a table in the cafeteria.

“No,” Taehyung replied, quickly trying to divert the conversation to spare you while Luna and Haerin snuck worried glances your way, “where is he and Namjoon anyway?”

Jimin shrugged, “Yoongi sent me a text at 4 this morning so Namjoon is probably trying to wake him up.”

“Do you mean that girl who was sitting on the curb?” Jungkook piped up, earning a glare from Taehyung whose efforts were thwarted, though he didn't seem to notice.

“Sitting on the curb?” Jin asked.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded, shoveling the last few pieces of a pancake into his mouth, “I think she was waiting for a cab.”

“Yeah that one,” Jimin nodded while Jin muttered about how rude it was to make her wait outside, “do you think he’d mind if I asked for her number?”

“Does he ever?” Taehyung huffed, discreetly placing a comforting hand on your own, which you’d absentmindedly curled into a ball, under the table. Taking a breath and shoving the fruit on your plate around, you implored yourself to relax. Why do I even care? I’m just a person he studies with.

“That’s true,” Jimin nodded. “She was really hot though.”

“Do you really have to talk about this with us here?” Luna barked from beside you, annoyance making her eyebrows bunch.

Jimin glanced at her sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, I just didn’t think it was a problem seeing as we have before.”

“It’s annoying.” She was relentless. “It’s not like I gab about my latest conquests.”

“Bullshit,” Taehyung quickly rebuked, his hand becoming tighter on yours, “you constantly talk about your boyfriend.”

Luna’s mouth dropped. “That’s different!”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is!”

Bickering ensued from each side of you, causing you to slump in your chair, rolling your eyes. Ignoring the war raging on, Jungkook nodded his head toward the door, speaking directly to jimin, “If you still want to, here’s your chance.”

Instantly your eyes shifted to the direction he motioned to, spotting a groggy Yoongi shuffling behind Namjoon like a zombie. Panic and dread consumed you. All you wanted to do was disappear, embarrassed at how much you’d lusted over someone who clearly wasn't interested. Before his irises could meet yours, you stood from your chair. The abruptness of your movement made the chair squeal as it skid against the floor, drawing the tables attention to you.

“I forgot something in my dorm.” You muttered quietly, pivoting on your heel to rush through the door on the other side of the room, opposite from the one Yoongi had arrived in.

“Wait, Y/N!” Haerin exclaimed, rising from her own seat with a worried expression.

“Yeah, we’ll come!” Luna chimed in, her spat with Taehyung forgotten.

You didn’t slow for them, focused on reaching the hallway before the green monster hiding out on your back was discovered by the one person who was the source of it. You cursed yourself over and over again in your head. This feeling of being at someone else's mercy was something you loathed. It was something every person would experience at least once in their life; you knew this. But it didn’t make it any easier when it happened. Feeling small and insecure, the insults directed to yourself spewed from your brain. You’d thought you’d grown past this and had learnt to not fall too deep before anything had ever even happened. Apparently you had been wrong.

The tapping of two pairs of feet caught up with you. Luna remarked once her and Haerin were by your side, “What assholes.”

“They didn’t do anything.” You replied before letting out a sigh. “I didn’t want him to see me is all. I feel so stupid.”

“Y/N,” Haerin frowned, “you can’t help liking someone.”

“I know.” You agreed. “I just don’t understand why it upset me and I hate that i’m mad when I literally have no reason to be. It’s not like we even had a thing, y’know? I just carried on one sidedly and got ahead of myself.”

The girls stayed silent by your side, nodding while Luna patted your shoulder. They didn't defend you because in all honesty, you really had just gotten ahead of yourself. “It’s okay to just really want someones dick sometimes.”

“Luna!” Haerin chided while you burst into a laugh, breaking the solemn atmosphere.

“What? Its true and she hasn’t had any lately.” Luna reasoned, putting her chin in her hand like she was thinking. “Maybe it was just that he’s hot and you’re horny and y’know, pheromones and stuff.”

“That is true.” You quirked your head contemplatively.

“I have an idea!” Haerin interjected. “That guy with the long hair and is really annoying said his frat house is having a party tonight.”

“I forgot about that!” Luna exclaimed excitedly. “Lets go get drunk, forget about Yongle or whatever,” you couldn’t help but snort, “and maybe even land you a guy for the night to work out all this frustration!”

“Well?” Haerin looked at you optimistically. Right after she’d mentioned getting drunk you knew you’d go, but you played it like you weren’t sure. A hopeful silence paused the conversation for a moment, before a grin stretched across your lips and you nodded. The girls by your side nearly shouted with enthusiasm, hooking their arms with yours while you giggled and outsiders rolled their eyes at your groups antics.

The day seemed to drag, as it always did. However, today it was almost like someone had hit rewind, each time you looked at the clock feeling like a punch in the gut. All you wanted was to go home, beat your face, and get drunk with the people who loved you. As time ticked away, you did start to feel better. You credited this to Luna’s explanation. After all, your initial attraction to Yoongi, who you avidly avoided for the remainder of the day, was purely physical. Granted, you had grown interested in him, but it wasn’t like you were in love. Looking back at the days you’d spent in his company, your mind analyzed every second, coming up with reasons why your body reacted to him or why your mind became goo. In short, you chalked it up as lust, telling yourself that you would’ve felt the same way with any attractive guy with how long it’d been since you’d been intimate with a person. By the time the clock struck half past 3, you’d successfully convinced yourself that Yoongi hadn’t actually upset you, your hormones had.

Feeling confident again, there was a spring in your step as you trotted down the halls. Outfit choices and makeup selections swiped through your thoughts, anticipation bubbling as you thought about the night to come. All your musings clouded your senses. So much so, you didn’t notice when Taehyung waltzed up beside you and threaded his arm through yours.

“Holy shit!” A squeal erupted from your lips, your free hand coming to clutch your chest.

“Hi,” Taehyung grinned, not bothering to conceal his satisfaction with startling you.

“You scared the crap out of me, Tae.” Loosening the hold on your chest, you punched him on the arm, though a good natured smile coated your mouth.

“Sorry, sorry,” He apologized, though you knew from the giggles that he didn’t mean it in the slightest. “What are you doing tonight? Wanna grab a bite and see a horror movie?”

“Tempting,” The hand you hit him with rested on his forearm, giving him a little squeeze of appreciation. Without saying anything, you knew he was worried about you. This morning you knew he’d felt guilty about what had happened from the seven messages he’d sent asking you if you were alright. Even though you’d reassured him every time, his actions were a testament to the kind of friend he was to you. He refused to cease his pestering until he was positive that there wasn’t a hint of sadness lingering inside your heart. “I can’t though. I’m going to a party in that one frat house on the corner.”

“You are?” He feigned vexation. “Why wasn’t I invited?!”

A shrug from you jostled your knotted arms, “I just hadn’t seen you yet.”

“Well, I’m coming. I won't breathe a word to He Who Shall Not Be Named.” He reassured you and drew his vacant arm up to draw a cross over his heart. “Scouts honor.”

Snorting at his reference, you shook your head indifferently, “It’s fine. I don’t care if he’s there.”

Taehyungs eyes became slivers, lips forming an ‘n’ from his skepticism. “Yeah, okay.”

Laughing at his distorted face, you rebutted, “I honestly don’t!”

“Alright,” he acknowledged, though the suspicion he exuded didn’t fade.

Opening the exit doors, you shivered and let your grasp on your friend slacken as you prepared to head your separate ways. Starting on the path to your respective home, you walked backwards so you still faced Taehyung. “Come to my dorm at nine-ish, okay? We’ll sneak you in to pregame.”

Instead of replying, he merely shot you a thumbs up and a smile, zipping up his coat to the top and jogging off down the sidewalk. Turning around, you shoved your hands in your pockets, the memory of that first night with Yoongi flashing in your mind briefly before you forced it back into the vault of things you would rather ignore. Sighing wistfully, you carried yourself down the path, your previous daydreams coming back to life as the cold air nipped at you through your jacket.

The party was like any other frat party you’d been to; cramped, loud, and vaguely smelling like something that had been left out to rot. You didn't mind much though, the alcohol in your bloodstream making all that seem somehow pleasant. Your vision was slightly blurred, though you were very much coherent. The taste of smoke lingered in your mouth even after you took a swig of your drink, head bobbing to the music while musing about everything and nothing.

As promised, Taehyung had joined in on the fun. Accompanying the three of you and declaring himself your honorary bodyguard of the night after he was a few beers in. However, you knew he wouldn’t be a very good one seeing as though he tried his best, his attention always seemed to swerve off in the direction of Luna. He meant well, but he was a flirty guy and she was what he liked. You could see them on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall, Taehyung grinning like he’d won a prize as Luna tossed her head back as she laughed. A small smile graced your lips. They’re cute.

Haerin was still by your side though, a slightly sour look on her face because ‘she already has a boyfriend and this is supposed to be girls night, so what the fuck?’ You had patted her shoulder sympathetically when you heard the stinging in her words and muttered a short reassurance that it was okay. Watching the dynamic play out, worry tugged at your mind, knowing that something more was going on and that you should probably address it. But fuck it. You were the one who was supposed to be comforted tonight for your brief and bizarre lapse in judgement. The weird love triangle wait for another day.

After successfully drawing her attention away from your two best friends, the two of you knocked cups, vowing to find a good lay for the night and downing the burning liquid. Since then, the pair of you milled about, giggling to each other as you scouted for candidates. Bouncing around, there were a few guys who interested you, stopping to chat and lay down some ground work to give yourself options as everyone did in college. However, even as you smiled sweetly and laughed at their mediocre jokes, your mind always seemed to revert to the fact that they weren't who you really wanted. And yet, you trudged on, giving out sly touches and coy glances all the while ignoring the nagging sensation burning at the back of your brain.

“I have to go to the washroom.” Haerin leaned in close to tell you after a while. Shuffling to the stairs, you assured her that you’d be fine waiting on the main level for her, not wanting to fight your way through the throngs of people unnecessarily.

And so, here you were. Back against the wall with the rim of your cup touching your bottom lip, you fiddled with the hem of your long sleeve crop top that you’d paired with a faux suede skirt despite the chilly weather. Taking a moment for yourself, you noted that Taehyung and Luna weren’t where they had been before. Tugging out your phone that you’d tucked into the pocket of your oversized jean jacket for safekeeping, you shot Taehyung a quick text asking where he was and letting him know where you were. Storing your phone back away, you glanced up the stairs as it had been a little while. Wondering what was taking so long, you shifted your weight from foot to foot impatiently. A few minutes passed. Then another few. And another. When you were nearing the 20 minute mark and the end of your rope, you heaved a sigh, coming to the conclusion that she’d either met someone or had been dragged off by someone else. Resigning yourself to having to play mom and find her, you were just about to start your search when you heard a familiar voice rasp, “hey.”

All the warmth that had accumulated in you seemed to seep out of every pore, your eyes growing wide as you swiveled your head toward the intruder. Drooping, ink eyes captured your, a telltale glaze across them that made him look spaced out though he was looking right at you. You gave him a once over, his black jeans sticking close to him while his grey shirt and plaid combo did the opposite. Clearing your throat a little, your eyes raked back up to his, your indifferent facade cracking when you spotted a knowing smirk on his lips. Moving the plastic cup away from your mouth, you spoke as you always did to him,“hey.”

“You ran away this morning.” He stated.

“Ah,” a blush touched your cheeks, “I forgot my notebook in my dorm.”

He nodded but his features displayed something akin to disappointment, stepping closer when someone grazed his back. “You seemed like you were in a hurry.”

You could smell the lingering scent of beer wafting toward you when he spoke, “I didn’t want to be late.”

He quirked a brow, never being one to fall for someone's bullshit. “Y/N, you’re late everyday.”

“Am not,” you quipped back though the corner of your mouth betrayed you by curling upward. “I didn’t know you kept a record of my attendance.”

He chuckled lowly, “I don’t, but it’s hard not to notice when Taehyung seems to vibrate like a puppy when you come in.”

A laugh tumbled out of you at that, the mental image appearing behind your eyes. Yoongi grinned back, a hand coming out to rest on your lower back, tugging you closer as someone tried to get by the two of you. The giggling died down as his hand felt like it was scorching through your jacket. Your chests were only a small distance away now and you found yourself absentmindedly leaning in closer to his warmth. That tug in your chest roaring to life and inching you closer. Eyes meeting his, the smile he’d worn had dissipated into a line. He didn’t remove his hand completely, but instead let it drift to the hem of your skirt. Skin skimmed your thigh as he fingered the fabric, his expression one you’d never seen him with before, but tantalizing all the same. A flash of pink wet his lip, voice low when he spoke, “You look good.”

“Thanks.” A current of titillation shocked your core, rendering yourself unable to say anything more than that. Dark irises fluttered between your lips and eyes, the distance between you carving away. However, as soon as he leaned down just enough to grant you vision behind him, you spotted Jimin talking to some blonde in the corner. Immediately the anticipation that was threatening to boil over, died down into a faint ripple. Before you could catch yourself, you muttered, “You really are good, aren’t you?”

Halting, Yoongi’s brow furrowed in confusion. Straightening, he looked lost as he replied, “good at what?”

But you never got to reply, a voice interrupting you, “Min Yoongi!”

Recognizing the deep tone which belonged to Taehyung, the pair of you shot apart, your skin mourning when Yoongi's no longer graced yours. Yoongi put on an impressively bored face, looking behind you at your sloppy friend who trudged over to throw an arm over you. “What?”

“Ugh,” you winced, attempting to shove Taehyungs hand off your shoulder. “Tae, you reek of booze.”

“Sorry, some guy spilled a full beer on me,” he gazed down at you apologetically, before sharpening his eyes and glaring at Yoongi, making you want to shrink and hide. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

“Me?” Yoongi asked, bewildered. “No? Why would I?”

It was silent for a second as Taehyung glowered at him. “Well, whatever. You’re not allowed to hang out with Y/N today. So sorry. Go hang out with that chick from the other night.”

Yoongi’s head cocked to the side, “Who?”

“You know who!” Taehyung exclaimed, drunkenly pushing a finger into his friends chest. Yoongi glanced at you for help, but all you could do was stare down at the ground mortified. In any other situation, you probably would’ve keeled over laughing at Taehyung’s grandpa act. Now? Not so much. I’m going to kill him. “The one Jimin wanted to know about this morning. Go hang with her, Y/N is mine tonight.”

“Taehyung!” Smacked him in the chest at his suggestive words. “Can you not say it like that?!”

Taehyungs bottom lip jutted out, pouting while Yoongi started to put pieces together. “Wait, you mean that one?”

He pointed at the girl Jimin was with.

“Yeah! Jimin wouldn’t shut up about her all morning, saying how hot she was and that he had to ask you for her number and blah, blah, blah.” With each new word that Taehyung spat out, the more you wished you could just run away, praying that Yoongi wouldn’t connect the dots.

“Tae, where is Luna?” You asked, trying to make an escape route before it went any further.

“I left her on the porch because I saw you and Yoongi through the window. Why?”

“Is that why you avoided me today?” It was like someone dumped ice on you, your jaw clenching and your eyes catching Yoongi’s, realization shining in their depths.

“Of course it’s not,” Taehyung replied, inadvertently outing you. “Idiot--”

“Taehyung!” The sound of Lunas garbled speech rang in your ears. Turning to the sound of her voice, she stumbled toward your group, bumping into almost every person.

“Oh, Christ.” You muttered.

“I forgot to say,” Taehyung murmured beside you, “She’s kinda really drunk.”

“No shit.” You replied, catching Lunas arm as she neared you and dragging her toward you.

“Y/N!” She grinned while swaying in your grasp, untroubled by her own level of intoxication. Yawning once, she rubbed her eyes and slurred, “What time is it?”

“It’s late,” You lied; it was only 1 am. “Wanna go?”

She nodded while Taehyung let go of you to swing her arm over his shoulder for support, his hand gripping her waist tightly to keep her steady. “I’ll take her outside.”

“Okay,” you replied, moving her hair out of her face and resisting the overwhelming urge to take a picture as her head lolled back. “I’ll find Haerin, but don’t leave without me, okay?”

Taehyung nodded, his own drunken stupor seeming to have worn off a bit due to the situation. Surging forward, you watched as Taehyung did his best to usher her toward the door. Luna wasn’t a big help though, stopping every few seconds to talk to someone and telling Taehyung to slow down. Yoongi's hand encasing your wrist diverted your attention away.

Oh yeah, the conversation you’d been having, or rather he and Taehyung had been having, coming back to mind, that. Dread consumed you, glancing at him unwillingly. He jutted his chin toward the staircase. “Come with me for a minute.”

He didn't seem to notice the reluctance in your voice when you responded, “Okay.”

Tugging, he lead you through the crowd, cutting a path for you as he weaved. Most people parted for him on the staircase as he guided you up, glancing back to make sure you were okay every few seconds. However, a few grumbled in annoyance when he bumped shoulders with them or interrupted a couple from more intimate activities. As always, he paid no mind to other people's opinions and simply put on his icy stance that he used with most anyone who was a stranger. Not rude, but more apathetic. Reaching the top, he took you down the hallway. He didn’t stop at the first few doors, but instead waited until you neared the back of the large house to start jiggling handles and peeking inside rooms for occupants. Once he found an empty one, he pulled you inside, closing the door and latching the lock.

Letting go of your wrist, you smoothed the palms of your hands on your skirt. Much to your own dismay, he still made you giddy, something each guy downstairs had failed to do. You found yourself tracking his movements and studying them so closely that your resolution that he was just some guy you wanted to fool around with wavered. Clasping your digits together in front of you, you tried to slow your pounding heart, hoping Yoongi wouldn't notice how tense you were. The room was quiet, only the muffled sounds of the party filling the silence.

“I never took you as the jealous type.” A vivid shade of red dusted your cheeks at his words.

“I’m not.” You replied, refusing to let yourself slip and put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Yoongi stepped toward you, gently reaching out to tuck away a stray strand of hair behind your ear before shoving his hands in his pockets. Locking eyes, you struggled to tell what he was thinking, which you assumed was something about you completely and utterly embarrassing yourself in front of him multiple times. “So, that’s not why you left the table this morning a half hour before class started?”

“I told you I forgot my notebook.” It was apparent that your excuse wasn’t going to appease him this time around by the tired look he gave you. Sighing, you crossed your arms and admitted a portion of the truth, “I also didn’t want to hear about your new notch. Satisfied?”

“A little.” He shrugged, a small triumphant grin adorning his lips. “Although, you probably should’ve stuck around.”

“What do you mean?” You replied, a little annoyed by how cryptic he was being, wishing that he would just be blunt like he usually was.

“If you’d stayed, you’d know that I never slept with her.” He explained. “Namjoon did.”

“Oh,” was all you could say, though a heavy sense of relief that you didn’t quite understand made you feel warm. Before you knew it, a smile crept up on your lips. You tried to quell it at soon as you’d noticed by biting the inside of your cheek.

“Satisfied?” He repeated after you.

Peering at him sheepishly through your lashes, you nodded. You did your best not to quake from the way he glanced down at you, a little smug. The wall you usually encountered was no longer present, like he was choosing to allow you even the smallest access. The unabashed lust in his irises set you at ease, knowing he felt even a fraction of the attraction that you did. Distantly, you pondered whether this was all apart of his deck of cards, though you couldn’t really bring yourself to care. If it was, it was a damn good card and you weren't a sore loser. At least, not right now. Feeling foolhardy from your previous actions, you couldn’t help but spill the truth now, if anything just to explain why you’d acted so rash, “you know, I’m usually not like this.”

“Like what?” He said lowly as you unfolded your arms and reached out to grab hold of the edges of his plaid shirt.

“This shaken up by someone,” feeling a little more calm now from talking about how you were feeling as you fiddled with the fabric, you steeled yourself and took the first step as you edged him closer. “There’s something about you that makes me so annoyingly interested in you. Usually, I’m much more of a casual person about this stuff and not quite so--”

“Jealous?” He smirked.

“No, I don’t like that word.” You scrunched your nose, bodies just about touching while Yoongi let you drag him in, hands still in his pockets. “More like… eager.”

“That’s too bad.” He rasped.

“Why is that?” His hand slid out of his right pocket to toy with the band of your skirt.

“I liked watching you act like you didn’t care.”

“Why? You like it when girls act cold to you?” You teased.

“No,” he grinned devilishly, making your core tighten. “It just means I can have more fun with you.”

Your breathing was heavy with need, as he hooked a surprisingly cold finger into the band he’d been playing with and coaxed you forward to close whatever remained of the gap between you. Lips pillowed yours in a short kiss before coming back for more. His hand slowly creeping to your back, one finger still underneath the fabric of your skirt. Pecks became fervent, gradually getting longer and longer in duration. Frustration started to build up as he moved away whenever you thought you were going to get more. Eventually, you couldn’t stand it anymore, reaching up and grasping the collar of his shirt with one hand while the other encased the side of his neck, wrenching him down to you. The rumble of a laugh tickled your lips as he slid out his other hand from his pocket and let it join the other. Electricity seemed to dance through your body, lighting you up with pleasure when his tongue finally swiped along your bottom lip. You were quick to grant him access as a hand slid lower on your body to caress the top of your butt cheek. Keening when his tongue met yours in a play for power, you wound your digits into his hair. Soft strands fluttered against your skin. The hand on your ass inched lower, squeezing hard in time with the motions of your mouths and pressing you against his groin. Fingers tightened their hold on his hair in response, making him grunt. He was mistaken if he thought you were one to be obedient.

Sliding your hands down to his chest, you maintained the kiss as you backed him toward the bed. When his knees knocked yours, you broke away from him, a smirk on your face as you pushed him backwards onto the mattress. Leering at you slyly, he waited patiently for you to crawl on top of him, kissing his body over the fabric of his shirt on your way up to his lips. Settling down on his lap, you felt yourself clench when his hard-on pressed against your center. Lips touched his once before kissing down into his neck. You quickly gathered that Yoongi wasn’t a very vocal partner, which honestly you could have deduced just from the way he is in everyday life. Sucking on the skin under his jaw, you knew you found his sweet spot when he clenched his jaw, suppressing a moan. Smiling to yourself, you increased your pressure, forcing the blood toward the surface of his skin to create a nice plum blemish on his porcelain skin tone. Slowly, you began to rock yourself back and forth over his jeans, your underwear bunching and rubbing against your core. Hearing his breathing growing laboured, you sped up, grinding down harder on him. His head tilted to the side, giving you more space to work with, moving to create another mark that would show that he was yours, if only for tonight. Hands stroked your bare thighs as you shimmied a hand under his shirt, climbing higher up your legs before delving to your backside. With every motion you made, you felt his torso clench with pleasure, resisting the urge to rut up into you. Flipping up your skirt, his hands clutched your flesh so hard that you were sure he’d leave behind marks of his own. Helping your motions, you mewled into his neck after a particularly harsh squeeze, to which his shaft twitched. Your fingers traced down his abdomen to the waist of his jeans. Just as you freed the button from its confines, the jingle of your phone sounded from your jacket pocket.

Stilling above him, you swore. Letting your weight rest in his lap, you rooted around in your pocket for the device, grimacing when you saw Haerin’s name on the screen. Accepting the call, you muttered a curt, “Hello?”

“Hey, where are you?” The skin of your lips was pinched by your teeth as Yoongi drew shapes on your inner thigh.

“I’m, um,” you had to pause to keep yourself from moaning when Yoongi wriggled below you, a dark look daring you to continue. Clearing your throat you placed a hand on his chest, digging your nails in to the fabric as a warning, though he merely smirked and continued drawing on your legs. “I’m upstairs. Why?”

“Oh, fuck, are you with a guy?” Haerin asked, to which you simply hummed in confirmation. Yoongi suddenly sat up, his lips brushing over your collar bones making your thoughts fuzzy as you tired your best to focus on your conversation with Haerin. “I’m sorry Y/N, I’d handle it by myself but I can’t take care of both Tae and Luna.”

A faint sense of worry invaded your bubble of pleasure, one of Yoongi's hands pressing you closer to him by the small of your back. “What happened? They were fine when I saw them.”

“They passed out on the lawn.”

Yoongi paused his ministrations, hearing Haerin’s words too. Heaving a sigh, you placed a hand on his shoulder and lifted yourself off of him to stand. “Alright, i’ll be down in a sec.”

Ending the call, you fixed your skirt and hair while Yoongi buttoned his pants. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Yoongi reassured you, smoothing his collar and rubbing your lipstick off his neck. “I’ll take Taehyung home.”

“Thanks.” You giggled when you saw the traces of your lips staining his own. Licking your thumb, you gently rubbed the color away, teasing, “that’s a nice color on you.”

“You think?” He raised an eyebrow, catching your hand and swooping in to kiss you, replacing the color you wiped away. “I’d better keep it on then.”

You laughed and turned to the door, Yoongi’s fingers lacing together with yours. Each of you exited the room, faces still a little flushed while adorning grins. Yoongi stroked his thumb against yours, keeping you close as people glanced at you two and proceeded to whisper. You didn’t care though, still a little drunk off Yoongi's touch. Reaching the staircase, Yoongi speculated, “So how much you wanna bet that he threw up?”

“Oh, I don’t need to bet on that.”

#bts smut #Bts scenarios #yoongi scenarios #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #suga #suga imagine #suga scenario #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #suga fanfic #Yoongi

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vio1315 · 6 years

Note

Kreig Cecilia and Kusuma

Full Name: Kreig of [snowland country name]Gender and Sexuality: Male, straight (potentially asexual but idk if I’ll ever make that canon)Ethnicity/Species: Human with about 10% harpy blood

Birthplace and Birthdate: In the country I’ve been calling snowland on here. The dating of this place means it’d be like 82X of the fourth era or some crap, so I'mma say he’s like in his 40s or soHaven’t figured out the calendar system beond the years yet though, so I super dunno month/day (not even an equivalent) Fall or winter bday feels okay… maybe even spring….

Guilty Pleasures: Judging people with friends. Like can you envision a bunch of dads with beers talking crap about foreign policy makers or something? Yeah that’s kinda his thing. He sees nothing wrong with it though

Phobias: Oh dude. He’s so tough… hm, I bet he’s like one of those people who couldn’t handle being made useless in some way. If he knew he was losing brain functionality and was gonna end up in a vegetative state, I think he’d ask his son or someone similar to kill him. Probably his wife actually. He trusts her to do it, and do it when the time is right for it

What They Would Be Famous For: He’s a king, so like…. okay but more specifically he’ll be remembered as a very strong leader. Like in 500 years he’ll still be taught about. He has navigated wars and foreign relations with unparalleled skill, and he’ll certainly get credit in finally securing the alliance with [mainland]

What They Would Get Arrested For: Lol, in modern times? Maybe like some visits from CPS, but nothing would come of that. Maybe assault, if I HAD to pick. But I’ll be honest, dude’s goal in life is to be as legalistic as possible, so it’s tough

OC You Ship Them With: I honestly don’t. He’s married to Heiwa, and they kind of hate each other a little, but also respect each other and similar, and I very much enjoy the weirdness that is their relationship. Ship though? No.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Hmmm… I mean I can think of some villain OCs, but honestly that’s it. As much as Skye and Marth dislike him, they would never hurt him. Not intentionally. I think when they were first married, it could have been Heiwa, but no longer.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Documentaries, biographies, non fiction type stuff. He’s more likely to go for stuff he can learn practical things from though. Strategies and stuff. He’s a workaholic.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Romance probably annoys him on some level. But anything where the leader character sacrifices themselves for an underling would enrage him. “It’s bad leadership”

Talents and/or Powers: Dude is great with strategy and combat. He’s smart/cunning despite his drawbacks.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He does what’s necessary and doesn’t let Anything distract him from serving his people. He doesn’t shy away from self sacrifice for what he believes is the greater good, and he falls under the ‘a jerk, but he’s right’ very often

Why Someone Might Hate Them: He’s a jerk. His methods often don’t achieve the ends he believes they will, especially in his personal relationships. He’s far too harsh and legalistic, even going beyond what’s necessary

How They Change: Kreig is not a man who changes Much. His biggest change is in the slow shift of how he views his son. As someone who’s worth existing. The fact that this strongly correlates to him physically getting stronger is something of a shame, because really, that’s the smallest portion of what contributes. Though in his own way, he always did care for his son, it just has never and will never be more important than their country.

Why You Love Them: What can I say? He’s got the internal strength of a bear. Dude could saw off his own legs for the sake of his country. There’s something to respect there, especially given he’s not even crazy or anything like most such characters.

Full Name: Cecilia… Ward? (Still deciding last name honestly)Gender and Sexuality: Female, straightEthnicity/Species: Based off an Amazon woman. Dark skinned.Birthplace and Birthdate: In the desert east of mainland, their great enemies. Birthdate is not hugely important. Not even a spoiler to say she’s dead honestly. When she died? Maybe around 27??

Guilty Pleasures: Mm, showing people up probably. Proving someone wrong, that kind of thing. It’s not about being right so much as pulling the rug from under people. This isn’t majorly apparent in her personality, she’s just got a slight chip on her shoulder

Phobias: Word of her wherabouts being sent back home

What They Would Be Famous For: Sadly enough? The fact that she married and had a child with someone of a certain race who is very hated among her people

What They Would Get Arrested For: That marriage if she ever went back to her country, honestly. But by todays standards? Well, could see her getting into a fight and accidentally going a tad too far, even if it was initially self defense. Whoops. But honestly she’s actually very well restrained, but that’s a lot to do with that she moved to a country where people are Extremely racist against her, and she kind of has no choice but to deal

OC You Ship Them With: Leo

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Hmm, of the good guys… uhh? Honestly if she was alive she’d be pretty well liked among those who didn’t care about her race. Which by the time of the story is a lot more people than when she was aroundBut one of the bad guys actually is her murderer so l o lYou know, once upon a time the most likely would have been Dalton (Marth’s dad) honestly?? He’s actuually the least racist dude in general, but man that war was sommething

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Maan, she’d probably enjoy stupid spectacle movies just fine, but in books go for pretty phlisophical stuff. Like if something was 100% allegory and got mildly, but underhandedly preachy? She’d love that actually.But mostly she would enjoy realistic fiction I think, especially involving humble characters or similar.Without realizing it she’d def have her favs be farmer characters who loved their animals type of vibe. You know the vibe.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Hmm… Love triangles, and probably when the strawman comes and pesters the Innocents and so they just gotta beat up the strawman. No other choice

Talents and/or Powers: Has extra strength due to her race. Has some pretty alright skills with a sword, and basic magic knowledge.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Girl takes about as little crap as you can in her situation. She’s fairly prideful but really sticks to what she believes in, even when it hurts her pride. Even when it leads to her living in a foreign country where she’s hated

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Prideful. At the start, her pride and chip on her shoulder nature can especially override her kind nature.

How They Change: Becomes a lot more empathetic and undertsanding. Doesn’t get very caught up in her own life and is able to see people a bit more accurately. Overcomes some of her own racism. Becomes a lot stronger in a more real way which is less defensive.

Why You Love Them: She’s a very prequel kind of character, but I appreciate that she’s a fairly simple and straightforward person. Like she’s not dumb, she just sees no use in complicating things. Though she sees things a bit skewed and biased at times, she learns and grows and will admit to when she’s wrong. But she’ll stand by when she’s right even when she’s the literal only one who is

Full Name: Kusuma RitterGender and Sexuality: Female, straightEthnicity/Species: Also that amazon based race, dark skinned (you know how to pick em)Birthplace and Birthdate: In mainland. Due to the nature of post story, it encompasses a lot of ages. But basically she’s introduced when she’s 12

Guilty Pleasures: Roughhousing, showing how fantastically awesome she is to everyone, or even just one person

Phobias: People breaking into the house

What They Would Be Famous For: Coolest kid on your block. When she’s older? Maybe coolest guard in the district

What They Would Get Arrested For: Assault lol. Resisting arrest would be tacked on

OC You Ship Them With: None, also due to the nature of post story. Honestly if I did ship her, it’d probs end up being with Soren, but they’re like adoptive siblings, so I try to just let them be siblings (it’s better that way)

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Soren lol, at least when they first meet. Racism isn’t fixed yet me boyos.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Action. No doubt. Bring on the one liners.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Hmm… honestly romance sub plots in general. She hates when cool action stuff has to come to a halt to develop (or more likely fail to develop, but still force awkward scenes) a relationship.She doesn’t hate romance per se, just in these moments especially

Talents and/or Powers: Bonus strength, decent with sword (as much as a 12 year old can be)

Why Someone Might Love Them: Honestly she’s just a cool 12 year old. Half of what sh says and does wouldn’t be out of place with sunglasses. But she’s also a protective older sister. Catch her using her free time to help with baby care

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s a bit obnoxious at times. A bit self important and cocky. It can be a bit clear to older peeps that she’s hiding some insecurities. She can hold a grudge and be Too blunt at times, lashing out in frustration when she has to deal with Soren at first (racism right back ya heck)

How They Change: Forgets any of those racist ideas she had, because Soren’s a weirdo, but he’s not evil. Becomes a bit more secure, so her defensive bluntness goes down, though her sarcasm goes way up. Her empathy and general love of people increases, though she also just develops better EQ in general. She can sense when people are eying her funny or talking behind her back, though she never lets it get to her. Honestly she just becomes the picture of confidence. Kinda Flynn Rider acting?? But legit.Why You Love Them: She’s pretty mature for her age despite it all. She steps up when things need doing without hesitation, but all while maintaining her attitude. Despite what happened to her, she never seems super traumatized or any such thing. It’s a bit hidden, but a lot just comes from how she deals with things too. She tends to work through her problems in an actually healthy way without tons of guiddance, though she ends up really thriving with it. But honestly she’s just sassy without being too blind to where peoples lines are, so stops herself short of being annoying with it. A good girl

#Vio Speaks #Thank you!!!!!!#Have I ever mentioned Cecilia before lol #You picked such a newly developed one #though old as Skye in some senses #Have been developing her as recently as last night even

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home-halone · 6 years

Note

Hey do u mind uh sharing that philosophy class revelation bc my rp characters are real flat

Oh no, if you feel you can improve on a character, then it’s great you’re looking for help on that!

but oh boy, I probably don’t have my notes on it anymore as this was nearly 5 years ago [sweaty spaghetti] and most of the readings on it can come across super boring but a lot of it involves the Philosophy of self for starters, and some ideas derived from that.

I’m not going to delve in which-philosopher-said-what and the exact terminologies because it’s been so long and I’m not an authority on it but I’m going to try to put it in really dumb simple terms because my professor was an absolute genius in contextualizing all the ideas for the contemporary student. GET READY FOR THE ASSPULL OF THE CENTURY.

[Super long pretentious rambling and answers under the cut]

As in general writing advice, what I know in philosophy is, you need to have a strong sense/idea of character (or Self) in order to define someone’s identity. By that I mean, you really need like a high level of awareness in terms of motivations, morals, values etc. for your character’s identity. It’s best to start with the core character themselves, then move on to their relationship with the world outside and around them.

David Hume’s theory on defining one’s identity rests less on the individual self and more in relation to experiences with other people/things etc outside the self. Just think of the nurture part of the nature vs nurture thing. This thought could be really useful in shaping a character though their experiences and they could come out as a different person after the calamity and you could follow that idea in your writing.

Other philosophers have other ideas in what grounds the self and it sounds super boring and confusing but if you’re able to get through it and apply it somehow to your characters it can be pretty rewarding.

I like to think there’s some truth and sense in all theories and that’s why they do hold up, even when they’re contradicted. Not a lot of them have a “final” answer of being true/false. Most of the criticisms I hear about philosophy is that it’s all stupid and circular because you get no real answer, but it’s sort of like reading The Alchemist, where, yeah it’s absolutely circular but if you don’t find meaning in it then it will be senseless. Sometimes it gets all cherry-picking-what-you-want but imo there’s nothing wrong with that if you’re happy with defining your existence a certain way. ANYWAY.

Seriously philosophers have a lot of conflicting opinions in defining something because oh boy. In terms of morality, Immanuel Kant, for example, put a lot of emphasis in defining doing “good” as something that can only be done when consciously done for goodness’ sake in itself like. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to be nice to someone, or it’s in your nature, or you’re doing good things because “you’d do the same thing”. These are all actions motivated by a will that isn’t purely for the sake of doing the right thing. His idea is, you have to be selflessly doing the right thing BECAUSE it’s the right thing.

See, uhh I ended up rambling lmao because I don’t follow each idea exactly, and other philosophers have other definitions of good and some of them might focus on actualization (doing a good deed) vs intent (motivation), but when I see how nuanced the ideas in philosophy are I start incorporating that in characters and ‘break’ the rules in a sense.

I have a good two-shoes character (Saraswati) who is outwardly virtuous, softspoken, a model student and the general idea of good but she is the exact type of person that would not qualify for the Kantian definition of good. Her motivation for doing the right thing and following rules is because she’d always done so for her entire life and because it was expected of her. She had no reason to stray from that until she was removed from her safe space and thrust into what basically was a lawless place. Underneath all the good deeds and “niceness” was a lot of selfishness and she had the “if I do this for x, they would do it for me too” type of mentality. Sara wasn’t manipulative per se, but she wasn’t above hoping to instill a sense of indebtedness in people through her kindness (without cashing in on it through demands, she sort of hopes they just realize and recognize her actions, so in polite society she knows her way around). She may be viewed as ‘good’ ICly but anyone reading her thoughts might have a tougher time responding. Through her ignorance, she’s innocent but she’s definitely on the darker, muddled side of goodness, despite qualifying as lawful good.

I have another character (Laidy) who did everything from change her name and leave home, to swear off magic completely to cut ties with her affluent family. She had a solid identity as a prodigy in magic but was completely unhappy with fulfilling her role as heir to a very ancient knowledge. Her family was absolutely cold to her but doted on her brother. A lot of her frustration was the lack of affection, denial of expression and envy of her brother's freedom. Despite this, she was kind to him, recognizing a reflection of herself in him and she grew increasingly rebellious etc until she left.

At some point later in life Laidy became a performer and innkeeper who joined a band of adventurers and became their beloved mother figure. There she found all the love and support she craved, and acted as she pleased. There are two identities here, and only one of them defines her. Even if her past does play a part, her values say that it was a different time in her life that has nothing to do with her present, and accompanying this is the various changes she'd adopted to mold herself.

A particular dilemma she once faced was a life-or-death situation involving her sort-of-adopted kids, that required magic to revive someone on the brink of death. Even in this situation she would not revert to her old self (despite being more than powerful enough to make a difference) to save someone she now considered beloved. It was a real struggle (luckily someone else was also secretly a mage IC) but a closely-guarded principle she adheres to, to assert her sense of self as an individual and not merely a "foolish" extension of her former "respectable" life.

So, those are examples of how I might incorporate what I learned in a character. I take an archetype and try to dissect it and find something to explore. Try to figure out what DEFINES an archetype of a character and ask questions. What exactly makes a “mad scientist” mad? What about someone overly religious? What aspect of that do you want to delve into? It’s less the actual philosophical ideas since I can’t remember all the stuff I’ve read tbh LOL, and more like applying the type of thinking I’ve learned after all those hecking classes lol.

It extends to their relationships with other people and even defining what love/affection/hatred is to them. Don’t stop thinking at “X loves Y”, like, actually define the act of loving. In romantic love, do they view themselves as being one with someone else (like in the poetic Christian way people describe at weddings)? What does that mean for your character? Do they overstep a sense of self and “mine-ness” and cross over into the experience of another and act on their behalf for their own sake? Are they aware of it? Is it ‘good’ in their values? Is love some sort of mutual journey of self-improvement or knowledge? Is love living separately as two whole selves and not about demanding, but giving?

Even ideals like freedom can be analyzed like, what does that actually mean for a character who was formerly held captive (maybe an Ala Mhigan)? Is it ‘freedom’ in a sense where they do as they please without consequence? Is it the type of freedom you get when you have culpability/accountability/responsibility for something, as this means you’re recognized as an individual with their own actions and motivations. Is freedom being able to choose anything and everything? Is it possible to recognize the assertion of one’s freedom in a more finite situation??

Characters that progress in change don’t always progress neatly. Sometimes they stumble, sometimes they make a complete u-turn. Sometimes it’s going from one bad mentality to another (lovestruck overconfident Ducimel becoming an indulgent but uncertain person).

IDK IF I’M GETTING MY POINT ACROSS because philosophy is a huge mess and jumping into it can be confusing and meaningless without experiencing what is being described (Descartes’ I think therefore I am’ sounds super weird and funky and very ‘people die if they are killed’ without knowing) but also because I myself am a mess

anyway tl;dr I don’t remember the EXACT revelation but this the mindset I have when I’m deciding on a aspects of my character. I take a “truth” or “fact” and question its definition to the core and try to deconstruct/reconstruct it because people have different values and perceptions and try to play with the derived idea and see how that fits with the original archetype and how it plays against it.

I’m sorry if it wasn’t super helpful fdsjsflk

#replies #what am i even saying dot pdf #Anonymous

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tiny-little-bird · 6 years

Note

Rewatched the "Sansa proposes to marry Jon" aka "Jon doesn't have the Stark name" scene and was surprised to see non-shippers actually picking up on the weird vibe of it saying they thought Sansa was offering marriage,but as expected people were quick to shut it down saying "HOW RETARDED CAN YOU BE" or "They're f'ing siblings". They say that Sansa was actually asking to be put in charge and that she was belittling Jon,hence the reaction of everyone. Thoughts? I just need some reassurance here.

D&D wrote and phrased that scene too weird lol And it was shot in a weird way too, awkward pause, weird/confused stares, Sansa literally becomes nervous and stutters, lol No. It was intentional, there were so many ways in which they could’ve gone about that scene and dialogue, but D&D were subtly hinting at and foreshadowing a Jonsa marriage.

Now, watchers who only watch the show, and haven’t read the books, wouldn’t catch this, because they don’t know, that a man can marry a Highnorn Lady and take her name, so it simply went over their heads lol But us book readers knew exactly what D&D were hinting at with that phrasing. 😏

You know how you go back and watch previous seasons and you’re like, “DAMN! Look at ‘x’ quote/scene it foreshadowed exactly what happened to charachter ‘a’, in season ‘y’ episode ‘z’!!!”

The “No, but I do.” will be one of those quotes/scenes.

What Sansa meant by saying that is, “True, he doesn’t have the Stark name, but we’re good, I’m here to represent.”, she did not mean it with malice or to belittle him, like some people are saying lol “I’m not a Stark.” || “You are to me.”

So yeah, Sansa simply spoke the truth, It’s common knowledge that Jon is a bastard and thus doesn’t have the Stark name, (well, he isn’t a bastard, but Sansa and co. don’t know that, yet) and the Northerners all know it, what she meant is that her being there, the trueborn daughter of Lord Eddard Stark, her having the Stark name, her being by his side, would help their cause, but Sansa’s reply had a double meaning, and they all ended up misunderstanding what she meant lol

Fact remains, it was intentional on D&D’s part, to have Edd, Jon and perhaps the rest of the characters in the room too (though we are only shown Edd, Jon’s and Sansa reactions), think she meant marriage, thus all the weird pauses, stares and the stutter on Sansa’s part. And upon seeing how everyone in the room reacted, Sansa, bless her heart, did realize just how wrong that came out, just how wrong it sounded, she is literally shown having that realization lol:

so she hurries up and pulls that save, and oh boy did Jon look utterly DISAPPOINTED:

Being murdered and then being brought backto life, messed with him. Losing the will to live and fight weren’t the only changes in Jon, they were the few changes D&D decided to show us, along with him becoming more aggressive and hot headed, but there were internal changes as well.

Now, in books you can show the reader the charachter’s thoughts, but in a tv show/movie you can’t do that. So, how do you show a charachter’s thoughts? Through dialogue and actions.

Dialogue is not an option here, because Jon can’t go to Sansa and tell her, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”, because this is something conflicting for him, he surely feels ashamed of it, and more than certainly thinks Sansa would be disgusted by him (little does he know lol), so we have him stutter when Sansa asks him, “I made it myself. Do you like it?” || “Yes, it’s… I like the wolf bit.”, we have him almost

choke the life out of littlefinger, we have him not wanting to be brought back to life if he loses the battle and dies, because Sansa would have killed herself, he says the North is part of him, and then tells Sansa the North is hers, that part of him is hers, he tells her he’ll never let Ramsay TOUCH her again, and then proceeds to almost punch him to death, the way he reacts when Tyrion asks “Does she (Sansa) miss me teribly?”, how the only reason he doesn’t kill Theon for betraying his family, is Sansa, the way he smiles at her, the way he looks at her, he is in complete awe of her, of the intelligent, beautiful and strong woman she has become.

Jondelion shippers wish Jon gave Dandelion these very “platonic” looks he gave Sansa lol

So yeah, you don’t come back from something like that, you don’t come back from being murdered, without some emotional changes, without changes in the way you think and view the world. I mean, he died and he SAW NOTHING on the other side, just BLACKNESS, NOTHINGNESS, NO PUNISHMENT, NO FIRE, NO HELL, NOTHING. So to him, after you die, there is nothing, you don’t get a punishment, you don’t go to hell, you have got just one life and when you die, that’s it, there’s no afterlife, you don’t get to see your loved ones again etc., you get one shot (well in his case two, YOLT = you only live twice), that’s what he believes.

We had that scene with Mel asking him what he saw after he died for “a reason”. That might’ve been the thing that opened up a door for “inappropriate” feelings for him, which he will find out in S8, were not so inappropriate after all, since Sansa is in fact his cousin and not half-sister. Finding out, will shake him up real good.

I truly believe Jon already had feelings for Sansa here, in this scene. I mean, she comes back at Castle Black, after he hasn’t seen her in what, 5-6 years, and although she looks like the little sister he once knew, she’s is VERY, if not completely, different, and well, she is a grown woman now. I’ve said this before, when Jon and Sansa reunited they both looked familiar to each other, they recognized each other right away, but at the same time they were two strangers. The little Jon knew about Sansa, looks like it’s gone, her love for songs and stories and pretty things, those things which once meant everything/the world to her, don’t seem to matter to her anymore, the cruelty of the world, took her innocence and dreams away from her, things he once knew her for, so yeah, in front of him is a stranger, thus why we got these shook ‘who are you and what have you done with my sister?’ reactions, that he’s had towards her all throughout season 6:

They reunite, and they literally have to get to know each other, to discover each other. The first thing they do, is share with each other all the horrors they’ve been through, all their pain, sorrow and frustration. I can only imagine how intense those conversations between them were; where Sansa told him what Ramsay did to her, where Jon told her his own brothers had stabbed him to death. I’m getting the chills just thinking about it… their bond is VERY unique and has become VERY strong, due to all the things they’ve gone through together, and if you watch their scenes, there is very little to nothing in their dynamic that resembles one of two siblings.

They fight and argue like two lovers/husband and wife, Jon is weirdly awkward around her, there is tension between them, they laugh so much around each other, Jon becoming enraged around men that have a connection to Sansa, Sansa responds in a very odd way, to Littlefinger teasing her about Jon marrying Dandelion, there are all these details, it all points to them having “'inappropriate” feelings for each other, it all points to them being in love with one another.

By the end of season 6, it’s pretty clear to us, that Jon loves her and that Sansa has become his weakness, we can all see it through his actions in S6 and especially in S7.

This is my opinion, but I do believe that to some extent Sansa realized, even back in S6, that her affections towards Jon were different from the affections she felt towards Robb, Bran and Rickon. In S7, she practically begged him not to leave her in front of all the Northern Lords, and then, she kept wishing he was there, she kept wishing he came back soon, she mentioned how happy he was to see her. “I wish he comes back soon. When he sees you, his heart will probably stop.” D&D could’ve wrote this quote just like this, no need for the “I remember how happy he was to see me” bit, but for “some reason”, they decided to slip in the fact that Jon + Sansa = Happiness, to which I say, where is the lie?

I’m really looking forward to seeing Jon interact with Arya in S8, and Jon reacting to Gendry being around Arya vs. any man being around Sansa, so I’ll be able to go: Y’all

So yeah, conclusion: Even if it’s not what Sansa meant, everybody in that scene thought she was talking about giving Jon the Stark name through marriage.

Fear not sweet nonny,

#JonsaIsComing 💙

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solastia · 6 years

Text

Beneath The Surface | 5

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Word Count: 5,746

Genre & Warnings: Angst, very sad Hobi Hobi ( I feel like that should be an actual warning lol), some fluff, Jisoo is an annoying bitch and calls everyone Oppa and Unnie, obviously cussing because it’s me. This is mostly an MC character growth chapter, where Sunflower’s past gets resolved so she can move on and be more open to possibilities in her future.

Notes: I really hate making my Hobi sad, so I hope you guys realize how much work went into this chapter. I literally made myself cry.

“Hold up, she said what?”

Hoseok gawked in disbelief at Bang PD. He really hoped this was a fucking nightmare because he was ready to wake up.

“Hoseok, she already told me everything, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t act dumb. I just wish you would have come to me with this sooner so we would have a more concrete game plan. For now, we just have to post a couple of pictures and maybe have Jisoo show up at a concert or something. We’ve already made the official announcement on Twitter.” Bang PD sighed and rubbed his temples like he was forming a migraine. Hoseok felt like he might be developing one as well.

Bang PD looked at Hoseok with such a disappointed gaze as he waved a paper in the air that he felt like a worm, even if he was innocent of this.

Bang PD cleared his throat and read the paper.

“As the leader of Hypnotic, I feel like it is my duty to come clean with any personal matters that may affect my group. So I am happy to announce that I am officially dating Jung Hoseok of BTS and that I will be making it public knowledge.”

“But none of it is true!” Hoseok yelled, slapping his open palm against the desk. He was just so frustrated. Why wouldn’t anyone listen? “I’ve never even said anything to her beyond hello and goodbye. I’ve never been alone with her, I’ve never touched her, and I am certainly not dating her.”

“Hoseok, can you really blame me for believing this? You’re literally still on lockdown because you got caught sneaking out to see a girl. I hate having to treat you guys like kids, but it is for the good of the entire group. Now we have to deal with this. Hopefully, the fans won’t freak out too much and just accept it. Give it at least a few months, and we’ll announce a split if you’re still set on it.”

“Of course I’m still set on it. I don’t know or like her. Please, don’t make me do this! Just say it was a mixup or a misunderstanding! I never ask you for anything! The girl that I’m on lockdown for, she cant see this! I’m with her, not Lee Jisoo.” Hoseok pleaded, unable to control the tears anymore.

Bang PD quietly sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Hoseok. It’s already been announced. As far as the world is concerned, you’re dating Lee Jisoo.”

Hoseok crumbled into the desk chair, shoving his face into his hands as he sobbed. He was so close to being done with everything. So sick of feeling like he wasn’t good enough, sick of not being able to live like a fucking human. And now...now they were taking away his hope. His Sunflower.

“Don’t be afraid to stand a little closer, you two. This is a couple photo after all.” The photographer chuckled as he pushed Hoseok and Jisoo closer together.

Hoseok was so uncomfortable, and he’d never been so close to punching a woman in his life. He’d been practically choking on his rage since the moment she’d step foot in the office. Her smug strut and overconfident smirk had him seeing red. He didn’t understand. Why him? She could have pulled this stunt with any of them. Why the hell did she pick him? He’d never done anything to encourage her or piss her off that he knew of. He didn’t know when they’d get a chance to talk alone, but when they did, she’d learn he wasn’t all sunshine and smiles.

“Achoo!”Jisoo sneezed delicately. Followed by a sniffle, then two more mouse-like sneezes. Hoseok glared down at her only to see her gaze narrowed in on the sunflower pinned to his shirt.

“I’m terribly sorry, Hoseok Oppa, but that flower has to go. I’m allergic.” Jisoo batted her eyelashes up at him, and his scowl deepened. No way in hell.

He ignored her and focused on the photographer. He saw her fake smile start to slip a little from the corner of his eye and gained a little bit of satisfaction from that. He tried to zone out enough to where he couldn't hear the annoying sniffling. She could deal with being uncomfortable for a few damn minutes considering she’s fucking with his life.

“Jisoo, why does it look like you’re crying?” The photographer asked, walking up to them with a slight frown. “I can’t shoot with you looking like that.”

“It’s just that I’m allergic and can’t be around flowers. Hoseok Oppa has a sunflower on his shirt.” She responded quietly, almost sounding apologetic.

“Ah, I see. Hoseok, as charming as you look with your flower, we'll have to get rid of it to get through this,” the photographer sighed.

Hoseok was about to fight to keep it when he saw Manager Sejin shake his head from behind the photographer. Hoseok dropped his head in defeat. Sejin was under orders to add another day to his lockdown everytime he acted out during this whole debacle. With a trembling hand and a weary heart, Hoseok unpinned his sunflower and gave it to Sejin to hold onto for the duration of the shoot. He couldn’t help feeling like it was almost symbolic.

Seeing Jisoo’s satisfied expression as he got back into position pissed him off, so he let his mask drop. He let every hateful thought, his disgust with this situation and her, and general unhappiness shine through in all its glory. Her eyes widened, and he swore he heard a little gulp. Good.

“Let’s get this over with, yeah? And quit fucking calling me Oppa.” He slipped back into his Jhope persona, smile as wide as the sun, and prayed his Sunflower would see through it.

“Stop looking so good.” You groaned at the television in frustration.

After the news with Jisoo, the media had been going crazy, and now every channel you tried to watch had something BTS related. They’d even mentioned it on a cooking show! The news was always paired with yet another stunning picture of Hoseok, and it was driving you mad. You couldn’t get away from him. Even Momo missed him. Anytime something played that had Hoseok’s voice, Momo’s ears would perk up, and he’d give the saddest little whine. You were both pathetically whipped for the man.

Just as you’re about to throw something at your TV in frustration, your friend Nari lets herself into your apartment. She shakes bottles of raspberry soju knowing you’ll let her stay thanks to her offering. You sigh and scoot over, patting the spot next to you on the couch.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you and those lovely bottles, but whatcha doing here?” You ask as you crack open one of the bottles and take a sip. She follows suit and sinks into her seat.

“You’ve been either moping here at home or working your ass off in the studio, so no one’s seen you in forever. We’re all worried. What’s going on? Can you finally tell me?” Nari asked softly, looking at you with her big brown eyes filled with worry.

You sigh and decide it’s finally time to clue someone in on all the madness. You’d never told your friends you’d seen Hoseok again after that time at the bar when you’d first met. You’d wanted to respect his privacy, and while you trusted your friends, you’d just wanted him to be safe. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. And even though you were hurting right now, you still couldn’t find it in you to be regretful about bringing him home that night.

You cuddle up next to Nari and pour it all out. You told her of your date, the time apart, the week you’d worked together. You’d told her that you were head over heels in love with Jung Hoseok. And that it didn’t matter because somehow he was now dating one of the girls you choreographed for. You observed in amusement as her eyes widened with each twist or reddened when she was angry, or you’d perhaps shared a little too much.

“Y/N. This whole time. I knew you were upset about something, but I assumed it was because of your ex. Holy shit though, JHope and you! I didn’t know you were going through so much. I feel like a horrible friend.” Nari’s face fell, and she threw her legs over your lap and cuddled up to you. You chuckle and pat her head fondly.

“I’ll be fine.” You reassure her, but she looks at you like she knows that’s a lie.

“I know you say that, but your eyes tell me a different story. The way you talk about him...you never sounded like that with your ex. Like, never. I was never even sure you liked him, let alone loved him. When you talk about Hoseok though? I’m almost envious because he sounds like your soulmate. You really loved him, didn’t you?”

You should tell her no, keep repeating the lie over and over until it sticks. Instead, you just tell her the truth. “Yes, I did. I still do. I can’t make it stop, and I don’t know if it ever will.” You pat her shins draped across you with a heavy sigh and give her a bittersweet smile.

“What we need to do is get this Jisoo chick out of the picture,” she declared, causing you to raise an eyebrow in amusement.

“You sound like you’re in the mafia now.” You laugh. “Besides, she’s an idol. Even if I do work with her, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I will gladly join the fight.” Nari declares, fist to the sky.

“There’s nothing to fight against. Get your shoes off the couch and stop quoting Hamilton.” You giggle as you push her legs off you and get up. You weren’t as drunk as you wanted to be and the two of you had run out of soju. You were sure you had some wine somewhere around here.

You were distracted from hunting through your cabinets when you heard a gasp. You quickly turn around to see if Nari was okay. She was staring at her phone in shock.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to peek. Nari quickly slammed the phone against her chest, blocking it from your view. She looked up at you with alarmed eyes. Clearing her throat, she murmured, “Nothing.”

“Nari...” You spoke in a flat warning tone. Somehow you knew what you were about to see. “Just show me.”

With a great show of reluctance, Nari handed you the phone. Right there on the official BTS twitter was a picture. A couple picture. Of Jung Hoseok and Lee Jisoo.

Your hand was shaking so much that you couldn’t keep the phone still, but you could still make out every detail. Jisoo looked so proud and beautiful as she stood next to him, her tight pale green dress complementing Hoseok’s grey and green suit. He was smiling widely, and you didn’t know if it was just a vain hope that you thought his eyes looks unhappy. Your eyes scanned the picture, feeling like something was missing. You stared, wondering what you were looking for when it suddenly hit you.

The sunflower. There was no sunflower.

You scanned the entire picture, thinking maybe they’d told him he couldn’t wear it with that outfit. Perhaps he’d had to hide it somewhere. So you looked at every corner and crevice the picture showed, zooming in on everything. Not only was there no sunflower, there wasn’t even a single flower of any kind in the picture.

It was over. Hoseok didn’t want you anymore.

You inhaled shakily and handed Nari back her phone, not meeting her eyes. You push yourself up off the couch and make your way to the kitchen to renew your search for the wine. You needed it now more than ever.

“Y/N...Do you want to talk about it?” Nari asks tentatively as she walked behind you.

“No. What’s there to talk about? He’s moved on to someone in his own world, someone his company obviously approves of. He looks happy. That’s all that matters, right?” You answer, voice shakey as you try to keep your emotions in check.

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not,” Nari whispers as she hugs you from behind and the contact makes you break down. You crumble to the floor and Nari follows you down, gathering you up and rocking you gently as you sob.

Tomorrow, you promise yourself. Tomorrow you’ll go back to being fine. You’ll go to work and pretend that seeing Jisoo doesn’t kill you inside. You’ll go back to trying to live your life without Jung Hoseok in it.

But tonight you needed to be miserable. Tonight you needed to cry and mourn what was probably the love of your life. So you let Nari play with your hair as you wept all over her until you finally fell into an exhausted sleep and hoped he’d be in your dreams.

You stare at yourself in the dance studio mirror as you wipe the sweat from your face. You’d had the girls working for three hours now, and you were tempted to add another hour in hopes it would wipe the smirk off Jisoo’s face.

This whole time you’d been wondering how Hoseok and Jisoo had happened. You didn’t even remember them ever talking, but they apparently had because she was looking at you with such venom that there was no way this was about dance practice.

She knew.

Jisoo was looking at you with pride and disdain. The look of a woman who’d won. The look of a woman who probably pitied you. If she knew, that meant Hoseok had told her, because you were sure the two of you had been careful enough. Why would he tell her? Did they sit around and laugh behind your back? Were you really so desperate for love that you’d become an easy target?

“Y/N Unnie, you look distressed. Is everything alright?” Jisoo asked sweetly, her eyes wide and a worried look on her face. The overall effect was ruined by her smirk.

“Oh, I’m just super Jisoo. Just worried about the choreography. If you were a better dancer, it wouldn’t be an issue, but I’m wondering if I should dumb it down a little. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, sweetie.” You mock in a dulcet tone.

The rage that filled Jisoo’s face made you childishly happy. You turn away and prepare to leave when Jisoo grabs your wrist and digs her overly long nails in.

“I’m so sorry, Unnie. Maybe now that I have Hoseok Oppa, I’ll get better. It’s amazing what those hips of his can do. But you already know that, don’t you?” She coos, and you have to clench your fist behind you to keep from smacking her. You tear your wrist away, momentarily allowing your irritation to be seen.

“You are far from the innocent you portray yourself to be," you answer in a monotone. You clench your teeth and hope you can keep your emotions in check. Your job was more important than Jisoo’s enjoyment of your pain.

“Oh, Unnie. Are you upset that I took your man? Don’t be. I’m doing you a favor after all. Eventually, he would have gotten bored with a nobody like you. He needs someone who understands life as an idol, someone who looks beautiful next to him. Sadly, that’s not you. Don’t worry, I’ll treat him well.” Jisoo smiles evilly.

“You know, the truth about what a bitch you are is going to come to light, and we’ll see how much of an “Idol” you are then. If I find out this is all fake and you’re hurting my Hobi, I will fucking end you.” You growl, your patience finally nearing its limit.

Jisoo’s throws her head back and laughs. “You think you can threaten me? You? You’re nothing. Hoseok already told me all about your little camping trip fuck. Said it was the easiest lay of his life.” Jisoo narrowed her eyes at you, searching for signs of weakness. You gave her nothing and quickly turned to storm out of the room.

“Get back here. I’m not done talking to you, wench!” Jisoo shrieked.

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” You taunt as you slam the door behind you.

You quickly make your way to your car and throw your duffle bag into the seat next to you. You lean back and finally let your tears fall, angrily hitting the steering wheel. You couldn’t remember ever crying this much over anything. You didn’t even cry when your fiance had cheated on you. You didn’t want to cry anymore.

You wanted to get drunk.

You start your car and call Nari, ordering her to get the girls together. It was time for a night out.

It felt bizarre sitting in this club again. The last time you were here was when you were drinking away the fact that it was supposed to be your wedding day and you’d met Hoseok. A night that seemed so long ago when it really wasn’t. Now you were back, mourning your shitty love life yet again. In the same seat at the same table with the same girls. Nari had already told you she’d tried to invite the boys again, but their lockdown was no joke. She hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone but had left messages letting them know they were here.

You zone out as the girls chat around, your gaze narrowed on the booth that Hoseok had dragged you to that first night. You want to laugh and cry at the same time as you think about all of the stupid “get to know you” questions Hoseok had asked you. Beyond the usual “What’s your favorite color,” he’d also asked ridiculous things like “What cartoon character turns you on the most?” and “What kind of dance style should our firstborn specialize in?” You smirk to yourself when you remember his judgemental look when you’d told him clog dancing was probably going to be pretty popular by then. God, you missed him.

You are brought back to the present when your friend Tiffany pokes your side. “You might want to look over at the bar.” She says, and your eyes follow her pointing finger.

At first, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary. The usual assortment of greasy men and sad women. A little flicker of hope wants you to believe it’s Hoseok she’s pointing out, but you hadn’t told her anything about him yet so it couldn’t be that. Your eyes flutter across the bodies assembled in front of the bar, and you finally spot who your friend is pointing out. Even from behind you can tell who it is. With a heavy sigh, you observe the man with irritation as he turns around and meets your eyes.

Your ex-fiance Seon smiles like he’s genuinely happy to see you. When you notice he’s walking towards your table, you nod towards another open booth, not wanting to subject your friends to whatever drama he was about to start.

“I’ll be right back.” You murmur to your friends, smiling reassuringly at Nari who was looking at you with concern.

You slide into the booth and stare at Seon. He’d obviously come here straight from work, as he was still in his suit pants and white shirt. You thought he’d maybe lost a little bit of weight and wondered if he was forgetting to eat again. He did that sometimes when they were working on something big at his company. You shook your head and reminded yourself it wasn’t your problem anymore, although five years of worrying about the man in front of you was a hard habit to break.

You were a little surprised with yourself. You’d imagined various situations where you’d run into him again and you’d always pictured you’d be an emotional wreck. Instead, all you felt was mild irritation and trepidation over whatever he wanted to talk to you about.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, trying to force yourself to keep a civil tone.

“Work. We’re celebrating closing a huge deal. You remember that one with the CEO from Japan that we’ve been talking about for almost a year? It went through. Probably going to get a promotion after this.”

“Congratulations, Seon. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been working hard for that one.” You were amazed by much you really meant it.

“You look good, Angel.” He says softly, smiling as he fidgets with his drink.

You snort at the use of the nickname. “Did you pull that overused line straight from the post-breakup manual?”

“Does that exist? I could use that. How to survive breakups for absolute morons.” He joked, and you genuinely laughed. His smile softened as he watched you. You return his stare and just sit in silence for a minute. Seon keeps searching your face like he’s looking for something or memorizing your features.

“Why did you come over here?” You blurt, growing uncomfortable.

“I wanted to apologize.”

You cock an eyebrow and prepare to say something snarky, but his expression makes you pause. He looked like he was sincere. Of course, you’d thought he was nothing but honest and sincere throughout your entire relationship and look where that got you. Still, you nod for him to continue.

“I’ve wanted to call you since then to talk to you, but I either chicken out or decide it’s better to just let it be and let you move on with your life. However, I just can’t pass up the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I know that nothing I can say will erase what I did, or how unbelievably stupid I was to do it, but the least I could do is tell you that I regret it so much and that it was never your fault.”

You bite your lip and soak in his apology. You’d always wondered if you’d done more, if you’d been more, would he have cheated. You’d felt like used trash for months, so this was nice to hear.

“Thank you.” You whisper, looking down at the remnants of your drink.

“I just...kinda want to tell you why? I mean, I didn’t go out and choose to do that with a reason clear in my mind, but I’ve been moping around the apartment alone for six months now. Plenty of time for introspection.”

You look up surprised that he’s willing to give you more. He’d never been the most emotionally open person. You nod and observe as he takes a deep breath before locking eyes with you.

“I think...it was mostly because I was scared? You know how my parents are. Poster children for a marriage gone wrong. The rumors are that once upon a time they were madly in love. Now they have screaming matches three times a day and make jokes about waiting for each other to die. I just...didnt want that to happen for us. I didn’t want you to wake up one morning and realize you were just waiting to die to get away from me. I didn’t want to see the love in your eyes dim year after year as you realize I’m not worth it. I wanted you to be free to find someone who deserves you more than me, someone who’s not so fucked up. So I kinda subconsciously did that in the hopes of being caught so you’d end it without regrets. I realize that I went about it in a shitty way, but that just proves my point of how I don’t deserve someone as great as you. I should have manned up and told you my fears. Then you could have just hated me for being a coward instead of a cheating coward.”

To say you’re surprised by everything he’s telling you would be an understatement. This was probably the most you’d ever heard him speak about his feelings. You sigh deeply and grab his hand.

“I don’t hate you. I was angry, though. So god damn angry. At myself, at you, at the world. I was disappointed. Afraid. I worried that with any future relationship I had I would be waking up every morning and wondering if that was the day they’d grow bored with me too. But I never hated you. It’s hard to really hate someone that you’d spent five years loving.” You tell him as you pat his hand.

“Never bored. Five years and I was never once bored. Sex with you was always amazing so you can take that off your list right now.” Seon jokes and you giggle and slap his arm away.

“I just want you to know that I’m not telling you all this because I want you to take me back. In fact, I would be incredibly upset if you did take me back after going through all that to let you find someone better than me. I just...wanted to give us both some closure and I wanted to make sure that you knew that it was absolutely not you. You took such good care of me that six months later I’m still trying to learn how to cook and do laundry. You supported me in everything, and I always appreciated how much you were there for me. I will always, always love you. You were the first person to love me and even if the both of us end up married to someone else in the future, I will always regret never marrying you. I just never thought I deserved your love. The blame is all on me and my issues. Speaking of which, I actually started counseling last month, with the therapist that you told me to look into about my parents. I decided that I probably needed it so that I don’t try to sabotage my relationships again in the future.”

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re doing that.” You smile at Seon warmly. You were starting to feel a little lighter inside. At least one of your issues was getting resolved.

Seon chuckles before clearing his throat. “Also, I know it’s a lot to ask, and I totally don’t expect you to take me up on it right away, but I was hoping we could still see each other? I don’t mean see each other, but like, hang out? It’s just...for five years you were not just my girlfriend, but you were also my best friend and my one constant in life. I wake up, and I forget that you’re gone. I start your coffee and toast, put on pants and grab a leash to take Momo out for a walk, and it’s not until I wonder why I can’t find him that I remember you’re not there. I just really miss talking to you. I miss you. And I miss our son. How is Momo?”

“Your son Momo is fine.” You grin. You’d forgotten how he always called Momo his son. “He missed you for awhile. Refused to sleep in his crate unless I put a shirt of yours in there. Look, I can’t promise to be able to easily become your friend again, but I’ll try. And in the meantime, you can have visitations with Momo if you wanted. I’ll admit that beneath the anger, I did miss you too. We did have five years of good memories before that day.”

“Thank you. You didn’t even have to talk to me, so thank you for listening, and I hope you’ll want to see me again sometime. Thank you, Angel. Goodbye.” Seon’s eyes were suspiciously watery as he grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. You smile and pat his cheek.

“Thank you. I was worried I’d be bitter forever. Call me in a couple weeks, and we’ll set a day for you to take Momo to the park or something.” You say as you stand up. You spot bright red out of the corner of your eye as you step away from the booth. Out of curiosity, you glance towards the bright color only to be met with Hoseok’s shocked eyes. He frantically looks between you and Seon, confusion and hurt in his eyes, before hardening his gaze and stomping away.

“No, HOSEOK. Come back! Shit...” You yell after him, trying to make your way through the sweaty crowd. You spot Nari at the bar and corner her.

“What are they doing here? I just saw Hoseok?” You shriek, grabbing her by the arm as you keep walking towards the door he exited out of.

“I guess Sejin saw my texts on their phones since he’s the one holding onto them and decided to give them a free night for good behavior. Most of them are at the booth already. I guess they can’t stay that long tonight though since they have some meeting tomorrow. Come sit, I’m sure he just went to get a drink.” Nari tries to reassure you, no doubt seeing your panicked eyes.

“No. He saw me talking to Seon. He probably thinks I moved on because of the stupid dating announcement. God, the way he looked at me, Nari. There’s no way that dating thing is real. He looked genuinely hurt. I have to find him. I’ll talk to you later.”

You storm out of the club, frantically searching for Hoseok. You walk up and down the streets and dark, scary alleys. Your feet were still in your stilettos, and they were in so much pain. There were even bloody blisters on the back of your heels that would make dancing considerably painful for a while. Finally, after an hour and a half of searching, you decide to give up, mostly because you could barely walk anymore. Either he’d found a taxi, or he just didn’t want to be found.

You head back to the club and search for your friend's table. You wanted to at least try to get one of the boys to relay the message to Hoseok that what he thought he saw wasn’t right. As you finally get close enough to the booth, you see it’s once again a girls-only table. You ask Nari, and she tells you that they’ve all gone home already. Your last option is her, so you tell her to text them all that you needed to talk to Hoseok. You text him yourself as well, although you know the chances of Manager Sejin relaying your messages are slim.

It’s time to give up and go home, you decide. You say goodbye to your friends, receive a hug and an order from Nari to call her later, and order a taxi. You have him stop at a convince store and buy four bottles of Soju. You were going to need them. You stumble into your apartment in an unhappy daze, stopping to peel your high heels off your blood crusted feet, before plopping onto the couch. You scratch Momo behind his ear and crack open your first bottle, forgoing glasses altogether. Soon enough, your mind starts to blank of everything but Hoseok, and you fall asleep thinking of his dismayed expression.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling this hungover in your life.

Since the moment you’d woken up and rolled off of the couch to crawl to the bathroom, you’d been throwing up. You’d only made it through two of the Soju bottles before you’d passed out and you usually made your way through six at a time with no problem. You wracked your brain trying to think of what else it could be. Maybe something you ate? It couldn’t be anything else because you just had your...

You weakly grab your phone and find your tracking app. Your last period was two months ago. Right before you’d met Hoseok.

“Shit...shit...fuck...” You call Nari in a panic, saying two words you’d never said before. It was a code you’d all established back in college when scares were the norm. It meant I need you and bring the stick.

“Code Stork.”

#kkreationsnet #KWritersKollection #kpopwritingnet #btswriters #Jung Hoseok #Hoseok #Hoseok fanfiction #Hoseok Fic #Hobi fic #Hoseok angst #BTS #BTS angst #BTS Fic #Hobi angst #Hobi fluff #BTS Fanfiction #Hobi #Jhope #hoseok x reader

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min-hyyun · 7 years

Text

God’s Punishment

summary: seeing a little brown and white kitten meowing outside your door at four in the morning isn’t exactly what you’d call an ideal all-nighter. but when receiving the kitten turns into something else, you just end up realizing that you’re in for one heck of a month.

genre: fluff n tiny angst

a/n: i love animals n everyong (i didn’t mean for this to be so long lmao srry) ((maybe an alt angst ending if y'all want???))

—

→ okay so basically, you’re in love with kittens. → and receiving one at four in the morning on a tuesday night was a very nice surprise. → especially when you’ve been drowning in work and stress that won’t stop → so let’s elaborate on this fine night. → you had just come home from the usual late night at work, and was literally about to pass out from the fatigue. → it was 3:30 am and you knew that there was no way you’d be able to make it to your room without tripping all over yourself. → so you settled for the couch that had the tv and kitchen near it. → you opened the front door, and threw your shoes off your aching feet. → “oh my god… i’m so tired.” you whined, simply moving towards the couch and falling face first into the maroon cushions. → you almost cried from the amount of pain your body was in. → you hated life the most right now. → so once you had fallen onto the couch, not bothering to even change into proper clothes are take off your make up, you were pretty much almost asleep. → that was, until there was a burst of thunder and rain started to pour down heavily. → the drops hit the windows hard, making loud noises that immediately startled you from your much needed slumber. → you jolted up, eyes wide and mind jumbled. → you calmed down after seeing the situation outside, and got up to get a cup of cold water, getting ready to pull an all-nighter to finish your studies and extra work. → “god.. i’ll never be able to sleep if this is what’s gonna happen.” you complained, finishing your second cold glass of water. → it seemed that there was always something that stopped you from resting. → you dragged yourself to your room, grabbed the essentials needed for the night, and unhappily sat down in front of the coffee table that you very much wanted to smash. → you took out all of your work, and began to do the things you wished didn’t existed. → about 20 minutes into the session, you heard a quiet sound coming from your door. → it almost sounded like scratching. → you paused in your movements, and turned to look at the door → what the heck… → to say that you were scared was an understatement. → yOU WERE TERRIFIED ! → there it was again. → the weird, but decipherable sound that was extremely similar to someone scratching hard at the wood on your door. → grabbing the object closest to you, which happened to be a hard-cover book, you slowly stood up and tip-toed towards the entrance. → in the heat of the moment, you swung open the door, holding the book in front of your face and closing your eyes. → that was when you heard a faint meow. → wHAT THE HECKADOODLE ! → your eyes turned big, upon noticing a small, brown and white kitten who simply stared up at you with its big brown orbs, meowing once again. → “what the…” you whispered. → why was there a kitten sitting outside of your door at four am on a tuesday night meowing??????? → you bent down and hesitantly stuck your hand out to the cat, letting it lick your finger once. → this was all so weird. → “hey little guy, what are you doing out here?” as you said this, you gently thrusted your hands towards the harmless kitten. → it slowly climbed onto your hands, walked in a couple circles, and finally settled into the centre of your palms. → it nuzzled its head into the crook of your thumb, and quietly purred. → yOUR HEART ! → this cat was so cute. → it made you feel calm. → you stood up, the kitten still curled up in your palms, and looked to both sides of the hallway in the apartment building. → all the lights were off, and there was no sign of recent activity that could’ve happened. → shaking your head, you walked back inside to your apartment and quietly shut the door with your foot. → the kitten was asleep, but was awakened by the sound of the door shutting harder than you had intended. → “oops.” you smiled sheepishly down at the kitten, who had now uncurled from its position and stood up on all four legs. → you moved towards the couch again, where all your previous work healing-unicorn. → the cat meowed again, and jumped onto the sofa from your hand as soon as you got close enough. → it continued to walk around on the cushions, before looking at you again and purring. → “so…” you started, rubbing a pillow and cuddling into it. → “how did you get here?” → all it did was come towards you, use its little teeth and bite the sleeve of your sweater that was laying on a small sliver of the couch, and pull towards the other end of it. → “huh? what do you want?” → the kitten continued to pull so you complied and moved, laying your full body onto the surface. → the kitten meowed the loudest you ever heard, since it’s presence showed itself to you. → you smiled and giggled at the cuteness, letting your much-needed sleep come over you, as well as the furball who decided to cuddle between your arm and body. → okay so fast forward to the next morning. → instead of waking up on the couch you ended up on the floor. → your back ached from being against the hardwood for the majority of the night. → you sat up, mind still cloudy but slowly coming back together. → as soon as you realized that you were awake completely, you looked beside you to the couch. → well, you could only turn your head so far, until you knocked your forehead into something hard. → “ouch! what the..?” → oH MY LORD ! → THERE WAS A BOY SLEEPING ON YOUR COUCH ! → AND HE WAS SHIRTLESS ! → your eyes widened, and you shouted. → “WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?” → the loudness of your voice woke him up, and once he laid his eyes on you, he moved back in shock. → but after a couple seconds, the shock disappeared and he gave you a slight grin. → “uh.. hi. im seongwoo..?” → you were still scared for your life LOL. → you stood up, hands trembling from the scare. → he stood up as well, and you clearly saw his defined abs. → you instantly blushed, turning away so that he didn’t see your face turn beet red. → he must’ve been embarrassed too, because he grabbed the nearby pillow laying on the couch. → “im sorry! uh, this is a little bit awkward, huh?” → a littLE BIT ????? → THIS IS VERY AWKWARD !! → “what are you doing in my apartment? i dont remember knowing a ‘seongwoo’.” you turned back around and glared at him intensely. → “you see…” he started, scratching the back of his neck, “i may or may not have been the kitten that you took in yesterday.” → you gave him a confused looked that for sure, told him he was crazy. → “believe it or don’t. all i know, is that i’m stuck with you until god decides that this punishment’s over and i can go back up to heaven.” → you gave him a suspicious look, and eyed him up and down. → he didn’t seem harmful, but there could’ve been something bad under that so-called “innocence”. → “sit, and explain everything to me in detail.” → a good hour passed by, and you now had full knowledge of seongwoo and why he was here. → so to quickly break it all down. → seongwoo’s an angel who takes care of cats. → he did something bad in heaven (by bad he means that he accidentally dropped a cat and broke its neck oOF). → so to serve time in return for hurting the kitten, he has to live on earth as your kitten/pet for a month before going back. → during the day, he’s human but at exactly 7:00 pm, he turns back into a kitten. → for the first few days, he dreaded life with you. → he was quite energetic and wanted to do a lot of stuff. → but because you were always so busy, coming home late at night and always working during the day, he hated not being able to do anything. → especially when he couldn’t go out. → a factor god put on him, was that he was basically tied to your apartment.

→ the poor guy was forbidden to leave, and seongwoo always complained about that.

→ after a couple weeks passed by, he was content and didn’t really complain or whine anymore. → you bought him stuff to do or play with so that he wouldnt be so bored all the time while you were gone. → on days that you were home, he was so happy. → interacting with someone else other than in a game was something he needed. → somehow during all of this, you managed to fall in love with him. → even though it seemed silly. → being with him throughout that one month made you happier than expected, and you came to love his craziness that you thought was cute. → not to mention the adorableness coming form him when he was a kitten. → but as the end of the month came around, seongwoo seemed to be getting more distant and cold towards you. → he always complained or was rude when you talked to him, and didn’t interact with you as much. → and when he was in cat form, instead of cuddling into your arm like usual, he slept somewhere else away from you. → you were getting sad and confused at his actions, because where did the old seongwoo go ???? → on the very last day of his punishment, you confronted him as he was getting a book to read from your shelf. → “seongwoo,” you grabbed his arm and turned him around. → he looked at you, surprised, but then furrowed his eyebrows. → “what you do want, Y/N?” → his tone was harsh, and your heart broke a little. → “why are you acting like this? i thought everything was going well between us?” → he ripped his arm out of your grasp, staring at your hand that was just resting on his a second ago. → “nothing’s wrong…” he grumbled, and stared at him. → “seongwoo, you’ve become so distant and moody. there’s definitely something wrong, just tell me.” → suddenly, he threw his arms up in the air, and shouted. → “i like you, okay!? and i dont want to go back to heaven…” → there are no words to describe the shock you felt after he said that. → “…what?” → he continued with a frustrated expression. → “i like you a lot. but i’m leaving you, literally tomorrow. do you know how much that hurts me? to leave someone you like who probably doesn’t even like you back in the first place?! my heart hurts, and its been hurting for a while now! i dont even know how i fell for you, maybe it’s because you smell really ni-“ → you cut off his rambling with a tight hug. → you smiled through the fabric of the sweater he was wearing. → “stop talking, and just hug me back.” → you could feel seongwoo tense up, but slowly put his arms around your smaller frame. → “Y/N.. why are you hugging me?” → your rolled your eyes, smile getting wider. → “you’re such a dummy sometimes. i like you too.” → he sucked in a breath, before tightening his hug. → “really? thats great to hear.” → but the moment didn’t last very long, because he pulled back from the hug with a frown on his lips. → “but, im still leaving tomorrow. us confessing doesn’t change anything.” → you looked down at your feet, grabbing his hands. → “well, i guess we have to make the best of it.” → it was only 4:00 pm, so you still had time to spare and do stuff as human-to-human, rather than human-to-kitten. → of course, you both cuddled and fed each other small marshmallows. → basically you guys just did really cute stuff until 7:00, when seongwoo changed back into a kitten. → it was just around the time you would usually go to sleep, and seongwoo was already resting on the couch as you got ready for bed. → you stared hard into the mirror, tears slowly flowing out of your eyes. → “i don’t want him to go..” you told yourself. → despite your silent protests, there was nothing you could do. → you fell asleep next to the kitten with a frown on your lips. → the next morning, you woke up to strong arms around your waist. → sEONGWOO WAS SPOONING YOU !!!!! → your cheeks immediately heated up, but went away as you remembered what today was. → the day he leaves. → you got up from his grasp, and left for the kitchen. → “seongwoo!” you call out. → he groaned in response, and you smiled sadly, “do you know how you’re leaving?” → you heard a faint grumble and a “no”, taking that as a sign to drop the topic. → as you walked by, you noticed the weather outside begin to get darker and windier. → it was quite nice the whole month, so this abrupt change startled you and seongwoo. → suddenly, rain poured down so hard, you felt the floor shake. → “seongwoo..? whats going on?” you asked, beginning to get scared. → he took a deep breath, opening the window in your living room. → “they’re here to take me back.” → grabbing his arm and pulling him in a tight bear hug, you looked up at him with an unreadable expression . → you weren’t ready for him to go so soon. → and then, just as you thought the winds would take him away, a small, yellow note flew through your windows and landed gracefully onto the floor. → you left seongwoo’s arms, and slowly picked it up. → “theres always an unspoken rule: if you want to become fully human again, draw a black circle on your wrist and blow.” → your eyes widened, so did his. → you stared at each other, no words spoken between you two. → by now, the rain and winds were gone and replaced with a beautiful sunshine. → seongwoo wasted no time in grabbing the black marker that sat on your table, drawing a perfect circle and blowing. → as he blew, the circle slowly disappeared, and the word “human”, bolded in black appeared right after. → everything was silent. → “seongwoo,” you said softly, “are you human now?” → “i think so…” he replied, brows furrowed. → “i just dont understand, why would he let me do this?” → as though someone was there right beside the both of you, there was a whisper. → “you deserve it, seongwoo. love her well, and dont lose her.” → a bright smile replaced the confusion on your face, and you turned to seongwoo, giving him the biggest hug. → “don’t leave me now, seongwoo.” → he laughed, returning the bear hug “i wouldnt dream of it.”

#produce 101 #wanna one #p101 season 2 #ong seongwoo #scenarios #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 scenarios #everyong #ong seongwu #ong seongwoo scenarios #seongwoo scenarios

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