#literally feeling like either killing someone or myself i hate this family

[butchvamp]

so depressed i can already tell im not going to make a single one of the deadlines i set for myself for fall/winter lmfao

#literally unmotivated to do anything #dont feel like working on any of my projects and i hate everything i draw and write anyways #and my work schedule is picking back up already in anticipation of the holidays now #i wish someone would just kill me like genuinely. wish i would just not wake up <3 #and next month is my birthday too wasted a whole other year again #like. at this point i really am either going to just finally kill myself or be institutionalized once my mom finally gets tired of #letting me live like a parasite in her house lmfao #at this point i just wish it would hurry up so it can all be over already #have no friends hate my job hate my family (and they hate me) like none of this is worth it #losing my life to mental illness. yay

[katsukismrs]

i wish i were heather.

platonic!katsuki bakugou x reader

a/n: if you can’t tell i’m not in the best mental state rn💀 inspired by Heather by Conan Gray. this isn’t my best piece but meh

warnings: y/n ran away from home due to abusive family, was left out a lot by friends, bakugou’s sort of the exception???

—

“You’re rich, Y/N! Literally if i were you, i’d be spending money everywhere!” Denki exclaimed in disappointment “And you don’t do anything with your money!”

“That’s called not being wise with money, Kaminari!” Ida disagreed wholeheartedly with Denki’s statement. “Y/N’s being completely reasonable with her money.”

Truth is, it isn’t that you can’t find a reason to spend your money, you donate to charity each month and take yourself and friends on shopping sprees. It’s just that the money feels.. empty. It has always been.

It was widely known that you spent the last years of your childhood and your first years of being a teenager in an orphanage, since you strongly disapproved of going back to that hell of a place your family calls home. You were 10 when you ran away from there, the day that marked your freedom.

But you can’t help but feel.. lonely.

Walking around in parks, malls, or any open space makes you see the life you can only dream of having. Children being pampered and loved by their parents can only make you feel like your skin doesn’t fit right over your bones, makes your legs eager to run somewhere far away to scream.

And unfortunately that has gotten to your UA classmates, too. Seeing Midoriya with his mother, seeing Bakugou with his parents, seeing everyone living the life you could never have. But they want to be you. It’s stupid to think about how they’ll trade a life full of security, love, support and happiness for having money and fame. but the grass on the other side is always greener, isn’t it?

There’s a side of you, that envies your classmates so much it could kill them, kill them for the life they potentially stole from you, but you know that isn’t the case and never will be.

And it isn’t with those in UA, either. But all your friends have something in common: they leave you, just like your parents did, just like everyone will.

Your friends left you for others, your best friends were never ‘forever’ as they say, and you hated that, and you hated yourself for it.

—

You sit in Katsuki’s dorm.

In silence.

With your thoughts. Disgusting, disgusting thoughts.

“I wish i were you, or anybody else.” You abruptly spoke.

“Hm?” He looked at you, perplexed. “What’d ya say?”

“i don’t want to be myself anymore.” you spoke.

“Who do you wanna be then? me?” He joked.

“I want to be anybody else but me.”

He turned to face you. “Because?”

“Everyone thinks i have it perfect because i have money.”

Katsuki stared at you, waiting for you to get to your point.

“But rectangular pieces of paper can’t love like a human can.” you spoke with a monotonous tone.

He waited for you to get to your point, staying silent.

I wish i were Jiro, who has supportive parents.

I wish i were Ochako, whom regardless of financial situation, her parents still love her anyways.

I wish i were Ida, whose brother adores him.

I wish i were Mina, who can make friends anywhere and everywhere.

I wish i were Kirishima, able to make friends stay.

I wish i were Shoto, whose father is trying to make up for the damage he caused him.

But all you can muster out is “I don’t want to be myself, i don’t want to be here as me, i want to be someone else, anybody.”

Katsuki looked at you. “You think you can have it your way every time in life, huh?” He laughed.

You looked up at him, tears threatening to fall as your throat begins tying itself into a knot.

Katsuki sighed “Listen, I’m not the type to come to for this verbal shit, but you’re pretty fuckin’ awesome as is.”

You didn’t believe him, you couldn’t believe him.

but maybe you could someday, but for now?

you wish you were Heather, or someone else who isn’t you.

—

#bnha x reader #bakugou angst #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou headcanons #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader angst #platonic #bakugou x y/n #bakugo angst #bakugou katsuki #bnha angst #free

[gffa]

Okay, not to defend Gotham War or anything, but I think I'm talking myself into liking what I see it's trying to do. Starting with some great tags on this post:

#i get why people are hating on it i really really do. trust me#but TO BE FAIR... zdarsky has been making it overwhelmingly clear that bruce is SERIOUSLY unwell right now#like it's been nonstop Horrors for him for like. over a dozen issues straight. with no rest or time to process. and he doesn't have alfred#who was a HUGE part of his support system not to mention the finances etc etc#iirc there's even a panel that pretty much outright states that this is more of an issue of control than morality#and that includes the choosing sides thing like the batkids seem more concerned w how bruce is going off the fucking rails than#just the moral aspects#anyway (via @clownprince)

#Batman#Bruce Wayne#REAL#REAL REAL REAL#LIKE. Zur En Arrh is a LITERAL Defense Mechanism going Malignant at this point#Not only that but throughout Zdarsky's run there's been allusions to illnesses and Bruce Not Having A Good Time#Not Having a Good Time and Not Having Time At All to take stock of the sheer What The Fuck-ery that's been going on recently#Because it's been a CONSTANT steam of What The Fuck-ery nonstop#And the Worse is yet to come if one considers the future issues synopsis and the ''I am a Gun'' story by Zdarsky#(At most I'm a little bit concerned over how Zdarsky will try to wrap this up‚ but that's a normal concern especially about Comics)#(Especially Batman Comics considering how often Editorial likes to... do things) (via @kaosvrow)

I agree with so much of the criticism of Gotham War, especially that the arguments for or against Selina's plans are absolute garbage by characters who should be making better arguments and that the other characters are being used as bobbleheads instead of actually giving them their canon personalities--and, okay, I will also point out that in the VERY FIRST ISSUE, Selina's plan gets someone killed and so I'm willing to extend some grace that the story isn't trying to push forward that either way is actually right, I honestly don't think it's about that. I think it's a story about Bruce Wayne's mental state, because Zdarsky's been building this up for awhile now, like the issue immediately prior to Knight Terrors? Shows us Bruce's mental state is ALREADY absolute TRASH right then:

Zur-En-Arrh was already leaking through the seams of his mind, he was already feeling the impending doom of everything he cared about being burned away, that his mind literally couldn't watch his kids being happy and together and getting along without feeling like it was all burning to ash.

And then Knight Terrors happened, which was one more thing digging hard, boney fingers into his trauma, and he handled it pretty well in the moment, but it's such a giant, non-stop pile of stress on a mind that is already damaged to hell and back because of his trauma.

Further, the very first issue of the Gotham War storyline? The very first panel, the one that sets up the stage of what's going to happen, makes a very clear point about how this is about Bruce fracturing:

And then on the very next page, Zur-En-Arrh is literally stalking at the bars of the cage around Bruce's mind.

And then Bruce wakes up and it's immediately more establishing just how worried everyone is about him because so much has been piled on lately:

Bruce hides his missing hand from his family, just like he's trying to hide how scraped thin he is right now, and goes out on patrol.

Where his internal monologue is all about how defensive he feels lately, how he feels like the years are catching up to him, how nothing feels right but this, making it clear that Bruce is hanging onto Batman with a death grip because it's the only thing that feels stable to him right now.

And all of this is in the first TEN PAGES of the first issue, this is our set-up, this is our foundation, this is what we're being given to understand what this story is about. Then Batman #137 happens and it's literally ALL ABOUT BRUCE'S MENTAL SPACE, that Selina's plan is the catalyst, not the driving point behind all of it. Again, I'm in 100% agreement that the Batkids are acting like cardboard cutouts because you will never get me to believe that they didn't notice crime going down or that they wouldn't be pointing out that Gotham's wealthy are just going to start making their security lethal in response or that the Court of Owls won't step in, that this is not a long term solution to giving these people lives beyond crime, or even that a lot of them should be agreeing with Bruce, that they don't get to decide who is an acceptable victim. But the story isn't really about changing up the way comics deal with crime, it's about even the Batkids are framing it in terms of how it's about Bruce. Jason is really the only one who seems onboard with trying out Selina's plan, but even his confrontation with Bruce isn't really about that, it's about all their baggage, their fight immediately becomes about how angry Jason is at the way Bruce has treated him. This fight isn't happening because Jason's a true believer in Selina's plan, it's happening because he's angry at Bruce and Bruce is in a shitty mental place, after all the non-stop horrors AND feeling like he's been betrayed by the kids who he thought understood that people being victims wasn't acceptable, and so he lashes out at Jason.

When they fight, it's not because they're siding against Bruce, it's because he's become unstable and dangerous. The why of it doesn't matter, it's not about that.

(And I'm actually okay with the way that fight happened because I can buy that, for example, Cass might be holding back against him, she's a stronger fighter than he is, but he's being ruthless because of the state he's in, while she might be feeling more cautious.) When they fight, it's not because they're siding against Bruce, it's because he's become unstable and dangerous. The why of it doesn't matter, it's not about that. Even further, when Bruce fights against his kids, he's wrong and biased, especially in the fight with Dick, who he thinks has a sloppy offensive and doesn't know darkness like he does--to which Dick just immediately cracks him in the face because, yeah, Dick Grayson does know darkness and Bruce isn't as untouchable as he's trying to make himself seem (because being Batman is all he has right now).

I think it's important that it's Dick who defies his expectations here, because this story is building off context of what happened between Selina and Bruce, that they were truly together for awhile, they were about to get married--Selina mentions that it the first issue, it's a major thorn in that conversation when she throws out how she doesn't believe that Gotham needs Batman anymore, it needs her.

She's giving him what he said he always wanted, she's giving him the thing that kept them apart, he should be happy, should they head to the church now? Saying that he won't because he wants to be Batman more than he wants to solve the city's problems.

The failed wedding between them is important in part because of what Selina's saying here, illustrating that both of them are bringing a lot of baggage to the table but also because of what else happened during that storyline, why the context is so important. Because that storyline dovetailed into one about Bane wanting to take over Gotham and he needed Batman unstable and distracted, which was working after Selina left him at the altar, he was a mess. But you know what was saving him at the time, bringing him back from the ledge? THIS KID:

Dick was the one poking and prodding at Bruce with jokes and warmth and care and it was working. He actually got Bruce to cry in front of him, to release some actual genuine emotion!

Dick makes Bruce more emotionally stable, to the point that Bane had to hire KGBeast to shoot Dick in the head just because he was so good at stabilizing Bruce--this is also why Dick's the one who says he'll go talk Bruce down off his moral ledge in Batman #137.

So, it's Dick that has to be the one to defy his expectations in the fight, has to be the one who breaks through Bruce's offense and knocks him down in what feels like a betrayal even when it isn't, because this isn't a story about who's right and who's wrong, it's a story about Bruce isolating himself because he's mentally fractured to hell and back, because he's not trusting his kids, he's still hurt by Selina leaving him, he's still grieving Alfred's death, he's run ragged physically and emotionally and mentally by a series of exhausting horrors piled on him, he's lost his family's fortune, he's not even living in his own family home anymore. (I focus on Dick here as an illustration of tying this back to previous examples of Bruce crumbling and important context that the storyline is drawing on, but Gotham War isn't really specifically about Bruce and Dick's relationship, but more about Bruce's relationship with all his kids, like Tim and Jason and Damian all have equally important moments. But it's a very direct example of how his children are a huge part of his support system and draw him back from the ledge of being just Batman and back into being Bruce.) That's why the issue ends with Bruce getting the papers telling him that the bank sold Wayne Manor to Vandal Savage, because it's one more thing that's stripping Bruce Wayne away from the character, and leaving him with nothing but Batman and Zur-En-Arrh. Gotham War isn't actually a story about a war for Gotham. It's a story about Bruce Wayne going out of control and everything is written to serve that. The characters' fights are catalyzed by Selina's plans, but they quickly become about Bruce's relationship with the characters. The narrative makes heavy-handed points about Bruce feeling like he's losing his grip, that he's hallucinating and talking to himself, that he is extremely mentally unwell right now. Everything Zdarsky's been writing (like especially the "I Am a Gun" storyline right before Knight Terrors) has been building up to fracturing Bruce Wayne.

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #selina kyle #gotham war #long post #feral gremlin length post

[kissesforsatoru]

could you write some general yandere portmafia!dazai headcannons?

𓏲 ˖. pairings. . . dazai x reader

𓏲 ˖. summary. . . general yandere port mafia!dazai hc's

𓏲 ˖. warnings. . . general yandere themes, drugs, posessiveness, kidnapping, unhealthy relationships, manipulation, blackmail, emotional abuse, non-con, smut, suicide.

– port mafia dazai is literally one of the worst yanderes you could have. he's cold, he's merciless, he's violent, and he's going to do absolutely anything to have you for himself.

– i think that he's impatient. unlike some yanderes who are willing to play the long game, dazai wants you immediately. he'll recklessly make decisions to manipulate you into his grasps. he doesn't care about who gets hurt in the process, even if it's himself, just that he has you.

– dazai will isolate you you. he'll threaten your friends and family, tell them to either leave you alone or die. and of course they're gonna choose their lives over you, so they kick you out and completely cut you off. you're left alone and confused, wondering why your family suddenly hates you. they didn't tell you anything, just told to get out because they never want to see you again. you were hurt, all alone, and scared.

– when dazai kidnaps you, he'll make you think that you're the reason your family left you. he'll tell you he's all you have, and you believe it because you really don't have any other choice.

– dazai is very manipulative, he'll do anything to get you to listen to him. if isolation doesn't work, he'll resort to guilt tripping you. i think he'd use his suicidal tendencies against you, he'll blame it on your disobedience and make you feel incredibly bad about it.

"do you really hate me so much that you can't even listen properly? you probably want me to kill myself, huh? if i die, it's your fault. you made me do it."

– in the beginning stages of your relationship, i think that dazai would use drugs to keep you pliant for him. it's simply just easier and safer for the both of you this way. he'll either slip some in your food or forcefully make you take them. when you're all drugged up and too weak to fight him, he can do basically anything he wants to you. he'll cuddle you and kiss you or, if he's in that mood, he'll slip his cock into your tight hole and fuck you slowly.

– dazai is very possessive and very clingy. he's always very close by or touching you in some way — weather his arm is around you or he's resting his head on your shoulder, it doesn't matter too much as long as he's touching you. he does really like having you in his lap though, where he can easily wrap his arms tightly around you and pull you close to his body. god, he adores the way you fit against him perfectly.

– while you're sitting on his lap he likes to kiss you. your lips and cheeks to your jaw, then down your neck and to your collarbone. he'll leave lots of hickeys, marking you as his for everyone to see. he'll make them nice and dark so that they can't be covered, not that he'd let you cover them anyway.

– he loves showing people that you're his, but he hates it when people look at you. he quickly gets pissed off if someone stares for too long and he blames you for it.

"do you like it when other guys look at you? i bet you'd just love for them to fuck you too, huh? well that's too fucking bad, 'cause i'm gonna fuck you 'till all you'll ever be able to think about again is me and my cock."

– when he's in a bad mood, he can be very mean towards you. he'll call you names and generally be very distant and cold, when usually he's very clingy and likes to coddle you. if you weren't listening or if you did something he didn't like, you'll be punished — and depending on what you did, the severity of it ranges. he's the kind of yandere who's willing to inflict a little pain on his darling to get what he wants, nothing too bad though. he won't do anything that'll leave lasting damage at least. but he can be very rough and violent at times and it's terrifying.

– i think he likes sexual punishment too. he'll be very rough, you might have bruises or you'll be too weak to walk for a few days. he'll make you suck his cock, shoving it all the way down your throat and keeping it there for a few seconds. he likes how you cry and gasp for air when he finally pulls back, but he'll shove it right back into your mouth and do it again.

– he's very kinky. knife play and gun play. he'll run a blade over your body when your desprate for a release, tell you to fuck yourself on his cock, but you can't go too fast or be too greedy otherwise you'll accidentally cut yourself. he'd probably fuck the nozzle of his gun into your hole too. it's not loaded, but you don't need to know that. he loves the mix of fear and arousal in your eyes, especially when you cry — your face is so pretty with tears streaming down your cheeks.

– other than when he's punishing you, dazai can be kind of sweet during sex. he makes sure you're feeling good and completely fulfilled. he'll edge you a little bit, but not too much. he'll just make you beg for him to fuck you 'cause he likes it when you're needy and desprate for him. then he'll overstimulate you until you're begging him to stop cause it's just too much for you. he loves to tease you.

"you have to beg for it, belladona. i'm not just gonna give you what you want. beg me like the good little slut you are. yeah, that's it, just keep begging and maybe i'll let you cum."

"you want me to stop already, angel? but just a few minutes ago you were begging for me to let you cum. oh, it's too much? you poor thing. you'll just have to take it since you begged for it."

– he can be rough and violent, but he still cares about your well being. aftercare with dazai is soft and sweet. he'll clean you off and kiss you while whispering about how good you are for him. and he'll cuddle you close so that the two of you can fall asleep together.

– port mafia dazai as a yandere is very scary, but i think that he's one of the more dangerous yanderes that's easy to deal with. as long as you listen and don't try to escape, you'll probably be fine. probably.

© 2023 by hheizoukiss ━ all rights reserved. plagiarism is strictly prohibited. comments, likes, and reblog are highly appreciated.

#bsd anime #yandere bsd #bsd dark era #bsd dazai #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere dazai #yandere x you #yandere dazai x reader #dazai headcanons #yandere dazai headcanons #yandere #yandere x darling #port mafia #bsd dazai osamu #dazai osamu #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere chuuya #dazai x reader

[meshlasolus]

Tw: suicidal thoughts (don't be alarmed I'm just venting)

I am so tired. I am so worn out. It doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter what I do. I have been financially and physically giving to Palestinians and Israelis who have been injured and were innocent victims through this war. The organization my family and I are working with has done so much to try and save lives. I have done all I can possibly do, but it's not enough. Those of you who drop in my dms or my asks to call me a 'genocidal colonizer' are so truly lost. I hope you all get help, because the amount of hate I've seen against not only myself but against literally every Jew I know is absolutely abominable. Don't say 'from the river from the sea' unless you know what it means, and if you say it, don't say it to a jew. You may hate Israel, and you may even think that all the people there deserve to die, but have you ever taken into consideration that the innocent Jews of either Israel or the rest of the world have nothing to do with their government or the mistreatment of Palestinians? Did you ever once think before you commented on a Jews post to 'wipe Israel off the face of the earth'? Chances are you did not. Chances are also that if you did, you probably just hate jews. Don't comment any bullshit on this post, I'll just remove it. I'm not here to fight anymore, I'm just here to say a few words, and give a perspective to those who think I'm some devil worshipping satanist just because I'm jewish.

These are the asks in my inbox on the daily:

Do you have any idea how this mentally affects a person? Do you even know how horrifying it is to know that so many people want you dead? I've had run ins with depression and suicidal attempts and thoughts my entire life, but never have I been this influenced by outer forces into thinking that I should be dead. Never once has anyone encouraged me to pull a trigger or off myself. Not until this has happened.

The comments and reblogs on posts about my best friend who lived in Israel, and her mother (who is arab, btw) that was killed in the October 7th attack are beyond wild. I can't even imagine how crazy it must be to live in the middle east as a jew. This is only a fraction of the hate that I experience in my day to day life, now.

The middle fingers I get from pissed off passersby at Walmart because I wear a star of david, or the slurs I get called because I told someone I had to leave an event early for Shabbat. It's all hatred, and it all sucks.

The violence, and the aggression that innocent jews are getting from random people who hate them. The little old man who stood on a street corner and held a sign in protest of Jewish hate that was killed today by a pro-hamas protestor. Its all too overwhelming. Why? Because even if you choose not to see it, or even if you condone it and think its 'not that bad', Jewish hate is getting dangerously close to what it was during the time of the holocaust. What's worse? It's being praised. Not just accepted, but encouraged. I posted on my instagram asking for prayers over my friend who's having to hide in a bomb shelter because of the war. The amount of comments saying 'just let her die' were astounding.

I have to ask you, where is your humanity? When jews can not only feel compassion but openly support Palestinians and try and give their services to save their innocent women and children from dying in the war, where is your compassion for innocent jews? Where is your willingness to feel an ounce of sadness for the loss of a life? Are you so hateful that you will condemn a teenage girl to die because of the violence her government commits? And if it happens, will you be so heartless that you will praise the notion that she is dead?

A common phrase used when I ask pro-hamas bloggers what their stance is on the beheading of children or the raping of women is, it usually comes out as: "well what do you think declonization looked like?"

I am always shocked. Every. Single. Time... why? Because I hope with every shred of naivete i have in me that people who have lost so much will understand the pain of those who are also losing so much. When you condemn one government for killing your children, and bringing a genocide upon Palestinians, why do you not also condemn the murdering of children and innocent Jews? Is it because 'that's not your team?' Is it because you want to win so badly that you don't care what the cost is? Do you think that turning into the thing that killed your people will make you a hero? The only thing I can possibly think of that would make a person respond that way is bloodlust. When you condemn an entire nation (including the innocent people) of killing your own, then turn around and do the same thing to their innocents, do you think you've proved something?

Whenever I address these things I'm usually met with the same stuff about how I'm a Jew so I'm biased and I don't get to have an opinion... but I don't think it's fair to say that to someone who's literally living with the repercussions that your hate is causing. Don't tell me to be quiet if you're spreading nazi rhetoric about jews and telling people to kill us.

Again, don't bring any bullshit on here. It will be deleted, and you will be blocked. I've spoken my piece. If anyone is interested in learning more about the organization I work with and donating to help Palestinian and Israeli families getting caught in the crossfire, please drop me a message, I'd be glad to give you more information.

#israel #palestine #fuck hamas #antisemitism #stop jewish hate

[dootznbootz]

I feel kind of bad about that post I made talking about how Odysseus would never sacrifice his family to save his own skin while I didn't give a name, I hope that person doesn't feel bad or that they get hate. As I don't want to gatekeep someone's interpretation of the Odyssey but also...while I guess you could claim that he would do that, there's so much MORE evidence as to how he would literally rather be stabbed than see his wife and son have even a splinter

Her rejecting him at first put him in a bad position. Honestly, in an alternate universe, where she didn't accept him or trick him that night, I think the poor guy would've cried himself to sleep again in that separate cot. He'd probably cry to Athena and ask if he did something wrong.

It would probably be an "awkward morning" of Odysseus and Penelope silently doing their things (not bringing up suitors' parents right now. And Odysseus would probably tell Telemachus to not say anything stupid.) and eventually, everything would bubble up out of Odysseus and honestly, I could see him straight up begging her to accept him. Not even caring about how he appeared to others.

Honestly, if she DID take a lover in that time...I think he'd either accept it and just...wander? Around Ithaca as a beggar as he doesn't want to be away from them but if they won't accept him, what else can he do? OR if she had another lover, (War flashback of the shitty retelling where Penelope has an affair) he'd probably kill the lover as let's be honest, Odysseus is basically a Yandere, to put it simply. Touch the wife, you get the knife.

And yeah, he doesn't JUST want his family.

"Oh, he wants to not be in constant danger."

"He just wants to go back to Ithaca."

"He wants to be king again."

Boy howdy, he sure does!!! But if, for example, Penelope and Telemachus for some reason moved to somewhere else? IDK, AU where they permanently moved to Sparta, hanging with Helen and Menelaus, and she didn't remarry or something. He'd be like "Shit, okay, BRB." And go to them. He'd probably have them all go back to Ithaca but still, THEY ARE HIS HOME. They make Ithaca home. Any place is home as long as he has them.

Despite having the opportunity to wed the most beautiful woman in the world, he took the Oath so then he could marry Penelope. And even then, it wasn't "for sure" as he had to race her dad. He did so much simply to have the CHANCE to marry her even though he probably wasn't planning on getting married as he brought no gifts. And he did so much so then he wouldn't have to leave the life they had built together and their young baby.

He could've had ANYONE. Went ANYWHERE. Did ANYTHING and he still wanted THEM.

Like??? Holy shit. This guy would do ANYTHING for them. I mean that's kind of why he's considered to be so "scummy" in how ride or die he is for them and basically a bitch to everyone else. That's what makes him SO different from many of his peers.

Person: Would you rather have your family- Odysseus: Family, always. Person: I didn't even say it yet- Odysseus: I don't fucking care. Always family. Person: Even if it meant you got immortality and a hot goddess for a wife? Odysseus: You act like that's a good thing? That was literally torture. Fuck you. I already have a hot Water Wife™ that I get the privilege to drown in every day. She gave me a wonderful Water Son™ who is the light of my eyes and who I am more proud to be the father of than I am of being the son of an Argonaut Person: Even if I give you a million dollars? Odysseus, acting nonchalant while Penelope picks the person's pockets: As if we can't get that on our own. Person: You'd die? Odysseus: I'll set myself on fire if I have to. Person: ...Okay, new question. Would you rather lose your family- Odysseus: The other option. Always. Person: Even torture? Odysseus: I never said I would like it, just that I would do it. Person: Even yeet a baby?! Odysseus: I'll punt the baby if I have to. It's not like I wanna but I gotta do what I gotta do.

And so on and so forth. You GET IT.

#It's technically not enough as I will not shut up about them EVER but yeah. I have cat on lap. I have a cookie. aaaaaaaaaaaa #I did mean for this to be an apology and it became a rant again. I'm so sorry. but yeah... :'D I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a bitch #I realized that there really wasn't the best evidence for this idea of him saving himself. there's more evidence to COUNTER that. #I mean he could've killed Penelope because she rejected him at first. HE was at risk because she didn't accept him. #and while he was REALLY fucking hurt and called her cruel. he STILL let her have their bed. Their fancy bed that represented THEM #that he refused to sleep in any other bed but that one but if she's not in it with him? There's no point. #It's not a marriage bed if he can't have the marriage that it represents with it. #sad au where Odysseus isn't accepted and he just...stays and watches... can't even move on because he doesn't want anything else #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #let's be real. Odysseus is against drowning but if it's from the Water Wife???👀 He'd be fine sinking to the bottom of the “river” #“Get in the Water” sung by Penelope would be a COMPLETELY different...tune. #*coughs* #I feel so insane right now. Yahoo #sdkjfskldjf #essay

[galaxyinacup]

Not to overshare or get too parasocial on main but I can't stop thinking about the Clocker "kids" and Etho dynamic

I've never felt like my own feelings towards my dad so well represented by a piece of media before, and that's- kinda wild? I can clearly see myself in both Bdubs and Scar's attitude and approach to the whole "not quite divorced parents" thing

Bdubs' blind adoration and admiration of Etho's prowess even when he has seen clear evidence of the contrary is very young me coded, but what I relate to the most and what I've seen other people comment on is how he's so earnest in his attempt to keep his family together. He is, on his own words "bridging the infinite gap", he wants everyone to get along, he wants Etho back at the dinner table, he wants his brother and mom to be nicer to who he sees as a hero and a good dad, he wants Etho to love his familily as much as be loves Bdusb and Bdubs lives his family.

And Scar, on the other hand, plays the role of the older brother who has Seen Shit so well. He starts off just as if not more excited about Etho being his dad than Bdubs, but he is not blinded by the admiration, he can see when him and his family are being mistreated and he simply will not be having it. "He's just Etho to me" hits so hard when you know that Etho quite literally killed him and his brother just because, all while pretending to be a good dad to them,after they invite him for dinner.

I don't think Bdubs is dumb, I think he understands that Etho is not a Good Person, but he can't let go of hope that, somehow, if he's a good enough son, if he's Etho's favorite, if he joins his team, maybe Etho will go back and things can be better, everyone can go back together and be a happy family.

I also don't think that Scar completely hates Etho and has no affection for him either, if anything, I think that's the whole point, being conflicted by loving someone who time and time again ends up hurting and disappointing you, wanting to hate someone but not being able to because despite it all, you want to love them.

There's something to say about the two very different responses the two of them had when presented with the idea of a father figure that leaves you and doesn't work to get you back, I find it fascinating and it makes me so so emotional

#Feeling NormalTM about this family btw #Feeling soooo regular and functional about their last episode #Feeling well about Bdubs and Scar #Feeling like a normal human being about Cleo specifically #< affirmations #Alek yells #limited life #limited life bdubs #limited life clockers #the clockers #limited life etho #limited life smp #Etho #Ethoslab #Bdubs #Goodtimeswithscar #Trafficblr

[undead-discourse]

genuinely have to wonder what these people who are so staunchly anti non-offending paraphiles want to happen to said paraphiles. like... what, do you want them to be killed for their thoughts they cant control? you think they deserve to die because theyre mentally ill? do people with homocidal intrusive thoughts deserve to die too, for an act they have not and likely will never commit? i hate to break it to you, but paraphilias are way more common than you think, and the people who have them are humans just like you. some of them seemingly come from nowhere, but a lot of them stem from trauma, which yall dont like to think about because it reminds you that if things just went a little differently, you couldve ended up like the inhuman, irredeemable monsters you advocate for the murder of. either way, its literally not something that the paraphile can control. fundamentally its unlikely any of them will ever be able to shirk their attractions. they can, however, just like you, control their actions. they are people with mental illnesses so stigmatized that its socially acceptable to publicly call for their slaughter. if you fancy yourself someone who thinks that people can be reformed and rehabilitated, someone who identifies as a prison abolishionist or an anarchist, you cannot also advocate for the involuntary killing of people with mental disorders. and you cannot perpetuate this culture of shame and fear and hostility, because all it does is push paraphiles who desperately need help further into isolation, away from the help that they need, and closer to actually offending. if someone is outed as a paraphile, their entire life is ruined. all of their connections are severed. theyre met with constant active hostility for something they never asked for and something they cannot control. so why, then, would a paraphile ever feel comfortable asking for help? how could they ever feel like they can reach out to a professional or even just to their friends and family when the risk is so high? when theyre told that theyre going to hurt people no matter what anyway?

full disclosure, im a paraphile. i wont specify anything beyond that. but for the longest time i really did feel like an irredeemable monster who was doomed to hurt others, that it was only a matter of time. that mindset, unsurprisingly, is not very conducive to recovery. it was only when i found other paraphiles online, learned i wasnt alone, that i didnt have to feel like the only option was death, that i finally felt like i could take control of myself. the isolation was the biggest hindrance to that. feeling like i was entirely alone in the world aside from people who had committed heinous acts, because the paraphiles who havent obviously cant talk about it. except they do, in small corners of the internet, where they still face incredible harassment and shame. still, knowing i was in the company of good people and knowing that my attraction wasnt some conscious choice on my part that made me into an inherent monster helped majorly. i didnt choose to grow up in the environment that i did. i didnt choose what i was exposed to as a kid. i didnt choose how any of that would affect me. i didnt choose to be a paraphile. but i am choosing to be a good person despite it, and im choosing to let other paraphiles know that they can do the same. i know there are some reading this. youre not alone, you can get help, and you can choose to be a fantastic person. youre not doomed. you dont have to die to keep others safe.

to summarize: paraphiles are human beings with mental illnesses just like many of you. and just like you, they need help and support, but its incredibly difficult to get that when the public opinion on them is generally "you deserve to die no matter what." we are incredibly common. you probably know a paraphile. and if that deeply upsets you on a moral level, i hope you know thats the reason why paraphiles hide it and just get worse and worse.

paraphiles are always going to be here no matter how hard you wish they were all dead. thats just a fact. so you can keep making graphic threats against mentally ill people, literally only causing further harm to them and to others, or you can show compassion and a genuine desire to see things get better by at the very least not perpetuating obvious anti-recovery, pro capital punishment, pro thought crime propaganda.

.

#shipping discourse

[brandnewhuman]

Hey I was wondering if you could do a slasher match up, it’s cool if not!

I’m a ✨fluffy✨ 5’5 gender-fluid person. I usually wear baby comfy clothes and usually have my hair down. I love to draw both traditional and digital. I love horror even though with my active imagination end up terrifying myself. I am an introvert but I have my extrovert moments. I usually keep to myself, but with people I trust I will spend hours talking or just vibing. I hate when people touch me unless either 1. I initiate touch. Or 2. I tell them that they are allowed to touch me. If anyone touches me that I don’t know or like, I have accidentally broken a few bones. I like to stay in my room most days and spend hours either reading, drawing, watching movies, or resting with mountain of plushies. I like to talk a lot but I have a social battery that when empty I will become aggressive. I am fairly strong due to having to help out on my families farm. I like fall more than the other season and Halloween is my favorite holiday. I also tend to have a people pleaser complex and tend to worry about others, but also somehow speak brutally honest.

I paired you up with...

♡ Rz Michael Myers ♡

♪IT'S CUFFING SEASOOON♪ big boy here is your perfect match, bro is quite literally all you need ARGUE WITH THE WALL

WHY HE'S THE BEST MATCH?:

For starters, i think we can all agree on the massive size kink we all collectively have in the slasher community and this man? BIG, HUGE EVEN. BRO IS BUILT LIKE A MF TREE.

Like you, he opens up only to people he truly loves and trusts so I think he would appreciate this personality trait of yours cause it makes him feel special to know you feel this nice around him, that you open up and start being more yourself when he's with you. Loves the stay at home activities and you can bet he's gonna do DIY projects and artsy stuff with you CAUSE OUR MAN HERE IS WHAT? TALENTED AND CREATIVE, EXACTLY.

Ngl, if he finds out you get a bit scared of horror movies because you overthink about them, he would fuck around and spook you from time to time but just for shits and giggles, never too seriously. Bro doesn't have a single ounce of respect inside his body.

Physical touch is difficult for him too, and because of how you are about it I think he would be perfect for you. He needs someone who won't make him feel guilty if he doesn't feel like being physically affectionate and stuff but at the same time he needs to be able to feel comfortable enough to know he can ask for it and try to be more affectionate without the person taking advantage of him. Weirdly enough, boundaries help him regulate himself on how to express his love for people cause he has never had anyone teaching him these things so he needs to be guided a little bit.

Speaking of social battery thing, his has never been charged lmao THIS MAN IS SO DONE WITH HUMANITY FR. But for you? He's sitting there and listening to every single word you might say. And you may think he's not gonna pay attention and end up forgetting everything BUT YOU'RE WRONG. He proves he listens with small gestures; if you talk about certain food things you like, you'll find them in the house the next day. If you tell him about a movie, he puts it on the TV when you're watching stuff with him the night after. If you talk about someone bothering you, they're gone. Which is a problem cause half of the fucking town will start to disappear since he takes even the smallest thing that might've annoyed you very seriously, BRO IS NOT PLAYING GAMES.. HE WILL KILL BITCHES FOR YOU. and in general too, but that's not the point. Also he loves to just hang out in silence around you if you don't wanna talk, and if you want alone time he's gonna take the opportunity and go do his own thing. This type of freedom and having the choice to finally do whatever he wants without being forced to do anything else is really refreshing for him.

As soon as you say Halloween is your fav Holliday he's gonna be like "you can't handle the uber instincts of my uber autism" AND GOES CRAZY FR FR. He makes you a Halloween mask, he sits with you to watch old horror movies, makes you buy candy or steals it for the both of you. Obviously he's gonna go and do some killz and all that jazz, BUT MOSTLY HE'S GONNA SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU.

Overall he matches really well with your creative and chill personality, he feels safer with someone who's not overwhelmingly clingy and loving but still shows affection and stuff.

WELL, THAT'S ALL FOLKS. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND I KNOW ITS A BIT SHITTY BUT THATS BC I HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A WHILE.

Song that matches the vibe:

#slasher fandom #slasher community #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher matchups #rz michael myers #rz halloween #michael myers #horror movies #halloween #halloween movie

[blueicequeen19]

In The Dark

So this was a dream I had and I want to have it saved somewhere so I can read it later 🤣

Warnings: angst, bullying, hate-fucking, public sex

I look back at JJ, his eyes hooded by his hair but I knew he was looking at me too. Pope and John B sat on either sides of him, fixing me with their own scowls.

“Stop looking at him.” Kiarra snaps from next to me, pushing my stuff off our shared work space. My books hit the floor with a thud, earning myself a few more shitty looks from other students but I glare right back at her. I wasn’t afraid of Kiarra Carerra. She acted like a bad bitch but that’s all it was. An act. I had to give it to JJ though, his pack of losers stuck to him no matter where he went.

I couldn’t help it though. My eyes went back to his. Those ocean blue eyes that I’d got lost in so many times. I wanted him. But I hated him. Our families hated each other so naturally we did too. JJ had been more open with his attraction than I had. It was hard to want someone when everything in your mind told you to hate them.

“What’s your problem, huh?” JJ’s voice sends chills down my spine. He was even hotter when he was angry. I wanted to crawl under that table and swallow him until his balls touched my chin. I wanted him to do awful things to my body.

“You’re my problem.” I bite back. First his dad stole from mine, then JJ stole 25k from my brother. 25k that we’d now have to earn back or end up at the bottom of the ocean. JJ leans forward, licking his lips as my eyes track that movements. What I’d give to feel that tongue just one time.

“What? Your brother signs my death warrant and suddenly you’re curious what I taste like?” JJ growls, slamming his hands down on the table with his teeth bared - earning concerned looks from his friends.

“Yea, actually.” I snap, leaning back in my chair so I was as close as I could get. I could smell the mint on his breath and the weed on his clothes. He’d have a hard time buying once he was labeled a thief.

“I thought I’d have more time to turn you down.” I smirk and JJ jumps to his feet, stomping from the room. My chair is suddenly kicked out from under me while balancing on two legs and I hit the cold tile, hard. The room erupts into laughter and just when I’m ready to lunge for Kiarra, our teacher appears with an in school suspension. Lucky me.

I wander down the halls, in no hurry to get to the office. They’re lucky I’m even still here. If I had a ride back to the Cut, I’d have left already. Fuck this school and all these people in it.

I round the corner into the new addition that’s still marked off with plastic and caution tape when I’m suddenly shoved so hard from the back that it knocks the wind out of me. I stumble into a maintenance closet, engulfed in darkness as I spin around ready to swing. My first thought is Kiarra since I can’t see anything in the dark, but when two hands fist my shirt and mint hits my lips, I know who it is. Even in the darkness, I know it’s him.

“Bitch.” JJ seethes, pressing his lips to mine and pinning me against the wall. I throw my arms around his neck, letting his tongue force it’s way into my mouth as I let everything else go just for a minute. At least in the darkness we could pretend.

“Dickhead.” I snarl back, taking his bottom lip between my teeth. My hands find his belt and I’m unbuttoning his shorts before I can stop myself. My brother would kill me if he found out. Literally put a bullet between my eyes. But I can’t stop. He tastes too good. He feels too good.

“Fuck me.” I demand, slipping my hand down into his boxers and grasping what I’ve been craving for years. His just as big as I’d hoped and soaked in precum.

“Why should I? You only want me on your terms. You’ll go back to hating me once I do.” JJ growls between kisses, his hands groping me through my shirt. I slide my hand up the back of his shirt, clinging to his warmth. I wanted to feel his skin on mine. I wanted to feel him sweat for me.

“I’ll never stop hating you. It’s in my blood. But for a moment, we can be two people enjoying the darkness. You can’t control what happens in the dark.” I squeeze his balls and he hisses in my mouth, shoving my back against the wall. He kneels long enough to yank my leggings down my thighs and spins me around, forcing my chest against the wall. I hear the tear of a condom wrapped then he’s pressing to my back, his mouth finding my ear as he lines himself up with my entrance.

“I hope you like who you are in the dark. Because I already like her better.” He slams into me, a hand clamping down over my mouth as he starts to fuck me ruthlessly. The closet quickly fills with the sounds of our heavy breathing and our skin slapping. He was so thick it hurt. I felt an ache deep inside me but it was worth it. My body was on fire, my orgasm racing forward from deep in my gut.

He keeps a firm grip on a hip, my leggings binding my legs closed as he fucks me in place. I wanted to touch him but I couldn’t like this. I was just along for the ride while he used me like this. I hated that he put a condom on. I wanted to feel all of him. I wanted to smother myself in him.

His hand moves to my clit, rubbing rough circles that send my eyes rolling into the back of my head. I cry out into his hand as I cum, feeling him let go a moment later with a choked sound. I felt the effects of my orgasm wash over my entire body down to my toes, leaving me feel like mush as he withdrew from me. I really needed a nap now.

I turn as I pull my leggings up, seeing him drop the condom in a mop bucket without a second glance. Someone was going to be pissed. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I could make out his still angry expression and those hate filled eyes.

“That was—.” He cuts me off.

“Don’t act like you care now. That was a fuck, nothing more. I can get plenty more of those elsewhere.” He snaps, fixing his shorts.

I push him into the closed door, his breath catching as I press my chest to his. He really was stupidly handsome. I reach up on my toes and kiss his slack lips. I didn’t expect him to kiss me back and he didn’t expect me to bite down hard enough to draw blood.

“Well you let me know when you want to roll around in the dark again. I’d like another good fuck before my brother kills you.”

Tag list: @lovedetlost @hoebx @strokesofstokes @alizabethcs @carnisidi @famousdestinygarden @i-always-come-back-xoxo @pankowforlife @my-baexht-ls @onmykneesforrafe @slutforsmutsstuff @bethoconnor @hellosexxxysalvatore @mrsjakeseresin @belcalis9503 @maybanks-luver @i-always-come-back-xoxo @adventuresinobx @hopebaker @drewbooooo @itsmytimetoodream @houseofperfecttaste @harlowsgirl @wh0reforstefansalvatore @urmommas Let me know if I missed anyone! 💕

#smutwarning #jj maybank smut #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #outer banks smut #obx2 #jj maybank fluff #jj obx #jj maybank x you #rudy pankow #dark!fic #dark!jj maybank #angst #blurb #blueicequeen19

[soldier-poet-king]

Ughhhhh

Like tried to open the "hey I'm thinking abt moving out" discussion and it just. Hm

- why leave when you can save so much money living here

- implications of them being hurt because I'm leaving more because this house is slowly killing me and less because of my horrific 2.5hr daily commute

- I need to live in a community again. I can't do suburbs anymore. Even urban loneliness is better than this. At least there are people about. I can go pop into little shops. Join a club. Deadass wandering around a mall would feel less isolating than this. ANYTHING

- unspoken but present "no one in our family has moved out until they got married", ESP for the women on my mother's side, and even then they moved literally down the street and formed a weird codependent dysfunctionional situation that I can't seem to extricate myself from

- it's expensive but I am going to kill someone and then myself if I have to stay here longer. I haven't had a life since 2020. And yeah partially that's covid and even more so it's Living Here and slowly dying a bit everyday after having been free and on my own for 8 yrs

- I spent those 8 yrs putting myself back together slowly and figuring out who I wanted and needed to be and within a year of being back I came the closest to forced involuntary psychiatric hold that I've ever been and I don't think that's a coincidence. The move is not entirely to blame. But it's hard to help myself in an environment like this one. I'm going to need a whole lifetime to piece myself back together and I still don't think it'll ever sit right or be whole again

- but if I leave who'll look out for bro 3. The baby. The sensitive one. The one most similar in temperament to me. Or it'll hurt my parents feelings and what little progress they've made will backslide and everything will get worse again and maybe my dad will *** and it'll just be. My fault.

-bro 2 fucked off across the country without guilt and I wish I could just not care but unfortunately I was raised to be the therapist and carer and my whole purpose of being is to sacrifice myself for other people's comfort so what else am I supposed to do. I have to make up for myself somehow

- my parents bought a starter home with shitty jobs when they were younger than me. I'm maybe NEVER going to be able to afford property, but if I don't start "wasting" money every month on rent I'm not going to live long enough for that to BE a problem. Let alone things like investing and retirement savings. But what if I lose my job or smthn goes drastically wrong and I end up back here with my tail between my legs anyways. Idk if I could survive that again

I am so goddam tired of every decision I make being the wrong one for my family. Of none of my (significant!) accomplishments mattering because they're not the traditional milestones. No I've never had a relationship, I've never even been in a date or been kissed. I'm a weird unattractive person and that's fine because I'm particular and peculiar about relationships anyway. Even if I hate that and I'm defined by hunger and grief. No I'm not engaged or married with kids. I'm tired of me appearing years behind my peers socially because I had to spend so long recovering from wanting to die all the time that I don't feel my age or maturity level even tho I AM comptent at my job and also just good and social lying to appear friendly and normal. I'm tired of being nanny and therapist and mom and all of these horrible gendered responsibilities that I never wanted and can't escape and have shaped me and ruined me and idk what I am without them and I can't even feel resentful without guilt because isn't that what I'm FOR. What else am I for than that. That's my purpose and my Duty and Obligation and I'm weak and selfish for chafing against it. I'm not allowed to love parts of my family and culture and then hate and resent all the ones that have hurt and trapped me and will continue to do so until either I, or all of them, are dead.

All I did was hurt and/or upset both my parents which makes everything worse for everyone in this hell house and maybe that's not my fault or responsibility but it sure feels like it is, and I can't escape it regardless.

I'm so goddam tired

#franposting #just whining its. #yeah #suicide mention cw #IM FINE DW IM TAGGING TO BE SAFE FOR OTHERS #im deeply miserable but im fine. i even ate dinner AND fruit #AND made lunch for tmrw #im just. gonna go watch arcane. or read naruto. both of which will hurt me #but maybe it needs to be external rn #work tmrw. and soo many meetings bc my boss is back and i have to like. showcase that i was ok left alone for 2 weeks #and was actually productive #why am i here. whats the purpose. the reason. the goal of it all. what am i supposed to be doing #beyond simple hollow pleasures to keep me going #so i can drag myself out of bed everyday out of a sense of duty #and that i have to keep going bc maybe itll make the world even the slightest bit better than i found it #and im now allowed any easy outs #i. am once again. going to do a hair mask. literally the only emotional cure all i know other than booze. which is. bad. obvs

[jamie-is-out-of-ideas]

Lego Monkie Kid (Shadowpeach) Fandom Rant/Discussion:

Disclaimer: Not sending hate this is just my opinion also my knowledge on the Chinese language is vague so take what I tell you about it with a table spoon of salt. Also people are free to do what they want and I can't/shouldn't try to stop them unless it's actually hurting anyone real. Also this is an open discussion feel free to critique my opinion or point out any flaws in my argument as long as it's respectful.

my issues with fanon-shadowpeach is when it's written to completely put all the blame on one or the other (most of the time Wukong).

The other thing is when it's a family au and one is addressed as bàba (Pinyin spelling of the Chinese word for dad/father) and the other is addressed as māma (pinyin for the Chinese world for mom /mother) , if it's a genderswap thing I guess it's fine (although i have my own gripes when a character in a gay ship is gender swapped and the other isn't) it's also perfectly fine if it's like a gender thing but when they both specifically identify as men it feels wrong to feminise someone in a mlm relationship when you could just have one be called bàba and the other be bà or even use just have them be called papa or dad. I'm not sure if there's another word for dad but yeah that's all I'm saying.

I also hate when there's a fic where it explores wukong's side without actually exploring his side or when he's going through something and everyone gets mad without feeling sympathy for him.

ie. let's say in this fic, macaque and wukong are arguing, macaque gets mad that wukong chose his new friends (his jttw friends) over him and or that wukong abandoned him for Heaven the cursed fillet or the 500 years imprisonment under the mountain gets brought up. This usually goes one of two ways, they talk about their issues healthily, or wukong gets victim blamed 😐. It's like 'I actually wasn't having a good time in Heaven, they tried to kill me and they couldn't and i tried to escape but then Buddha imprisoned me under a mountain for 500 years.' and the fic either had Macaque not know that happened, or when he does know I've literally seen one that was like 'how do you think I felt when you were trapped under that mountain and tortured, that affected me way more than it affected you even though you were the one being hurt.' I just don't understand why people are hating on wukong so much. Like I enjoy when people critic his character but I hate the unnecessary over bashing, were people treat him like he's an huge manipulative ass-hole who only cares about himself when that's untrue and ignores a lot of his character. I also get that Macaque is allowed to be angry at Wukong, and also in a lot of the instances of him getting hurt he's missing a lot of the context of what happened and why. Like if you think someone abandoned and killed you for no reason you are allowed to want revenge and hate them, but also don't write him as the victim of the bad things that happened to someone else when it wasn't traumatic for him.

I also hate when people are like 'yeah one's an innocent little cinnamon roll whose never done a bad thing in his life and the other is pure evil and irredeemable and everyone hates them and everything that happened is their fault!' Also neither of them are cinnamon rolls they're both shitheads (but not in a ass-hole way in a funny way.)

Please stop, you should write them like this: 'Hey we've both hurt each other a lot and even though some of those instances of us hurting each other was out of control but it still hurt and we should work on our issues healthily and fix out broken relationship or even make a new one because we're different people now and we should move one while also acknowledging each of out mistakes and becoming better people from them.'

Also macaque dying was more traumatic than it was for Wukong, don't get me wrong I love the angsty concept of wukong being like 'please wake up' or 'i'll never forgive myself' but yeah it was more traumatic for Macaque.

Lady Bone Demon controlled both of them and though one of them was under her control longer don't make them try to one up each other, trauma ain't a competition y'all.

Moral of the story: if two dudes who identify as men adopt or have a kid together they're both the dad so call them the kid's 'dads' and not their 'mom' and dad. In a fight there's two sides to the story, someone's trauma and the bad thing that happened to them doesn't hurt you more than it does them even if that bad thing that happened to them does affect you in some way don't make it about you. Trauma is not a competition, don't one up someone when they tell you about something deeply upsetting and personal they're going through.

End of rant. Please remember this is an an opinion and suggestion if you want to make an au/fic where on of them is the worst I can't stop you and shouldn't try to since it's not gonna hurt anyone or me and doesn't affect my personal life.

#shadowpeach #fandom critique #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #lego monkie kid #rant #opinion #discussion #please be respectful if you are going to join this discussion

[distort-opia]

Heya!! It’s me again, lol.

I’m curious (so I’m just gonna throw these questions at you); are there any changes or directions you would like to see regarding Batman, Joker, and/or Batjokes in the mainline comics?

What are some aspects about Batman and Joker that you feel are ignored or neglected by writers, if at all? (Is that even a reasonable question to ask? I’m always so worried I’m missing the point. These characters are so complex, which is great, that’s a reason why I love them, but the complexity muddles my brain at times and I’m not sure of what questions to ask and if they are valid in the first place).

Actually! That’s a perfect transition to this:

When writing Batman and Joker, what are some key things to consider regarding their individual traits and of their relationship?

I’m so sorry for the interview-esque ask. Not trying to shove questions down your throat! I hope that you’re doing well, please take care.

Hey!! First of all, thank you for the ask, and for all the kind words you always leave in my tags. I'm baffled at the support and I'm really glad you enjoy my rambles. All the love to you <3

Since these are three questions, my answer did end up long, so I will put it under the cut.

As to the first question... uh. That's complicated, I guess. I am quite disillusioned with DC as a whole, so even though I have specific storylines I would like to see, I wouldn't trust them to get them right. However, to be fair, it's not entirely their fault. It's the nature of the medium too. I might want to see a story in which Bruce actually and genuinely gets to heal from his trauma, but that will never be the end. Batman's too popular for that. Like Sysiphus, he'll have to exist again and again, in countless versions and universes. He'll be reinvented and revived until there's no more interest, probably -- and it's the same with Joker. That said, there are stories I would like to see. I feel like Batman Who Laughs was such a missed opportunity for a genuinely cool psychological story, for instance. That whole chemical thing was a cop-out, when we could've gotten Bruce killing someone either by accident or by losing control in some way (sort of like TWOJAR but without anyone stopping him and with more... in-character circumstances). Then, it would've been so interesting to see Bruce's psyche break down to the point of him killing Joker, and becoming the villain he always feared turning into. As to Joker, I'd give a kidney for a genuinely nuanced story about him facing his past, because his character is literally defined by running away from it. You've got Going Sane and White Knight as variations on 'hey what if Joker became sane' but they're not at all what I mean. In Going Sane, Joker simply fabricated and assumed a different identity -- he doesn't deal with his memories or his former self in any way. And do not get me started on White Knight, because I hate the idea of some pills just erasing Joker's so-called 'insanity' and with it, his love for Batman. Those pills basically turn him straight for Harley. Yeah that's a great way to imply gay love is obsessive and turns you insane, thank you DC. To be honest I'm pretty sure DC will try... something with Joker's former family at some point, because they had Jeannie and Joker's son be alive in The Three Jokers (which I also hated). And thing is, it could be an interesting story! But I'm like 90% sure it'll suck, because they treat Joker like a one-dimensional evil cardboard cut-out of himself these days. (I did actually start writing a story about Joker more realistically facing his past myself, in Falls the Shadow. Be the change you want to see in the world, I guess.) And when it comes to Batjokes... a story where they team up would be cool. Like that Deadly Duo comic they were planning and that never panned out, apparently. Also, I'd just really find it funny if Joker got kidnapped by aliens or something in full view of the Justice League, and everyone's like "...Yeah, that's cool. It's fine. Him off planet is actually great." Meanwhile Bruce is like "It's a sacred human life! He has to be rescued! I'm going after him!" Basically him being just as stupidly incapable of letting Joker go as in Devil's Advocate, but to an even bigger scale :)) I just think it'd be hilarious to see Bruce dragging Joker back from some remote planet like something of his that got misplaced while everyone is facepalming.

The second question is a perfectly reasonable one to ask! Don't think you're missing the point in any way; and I fully agree these characters have so much history and are so complex it gets headache-inducing sometimes. Aspects of Batman and Joker that I feel are neglected or ignored... well, when it comes to Bruce, it bugs me that Bruce displays character development a bunch of times, but the next writer just bulldozes over it. Again, this is also due to the nature of comics as a medium, and everyone trying to put their own spin on the character, but still. It gets very frustrating. You're like, "Ah, he's finally self-aware about the bullshit he puts his kids through! He's trying to change! He's trying to prioritize his own happiness over his Vow for once!" and a couple of issues later it all gets undone. Sigh. Though for Joker it's a lot worse, I feel. What gets ignored and neglected when writing him is 100% his humanity. There's more than one comic showing more humane sides of him, outright spelling it out that he's not just the Evil Psychopath most fans are eager to believe him to be. But these sides of him -- having emotional breakdowns, not being able to find 'the joke', empathizing with children and trying to help an abused one, having so many comics imply he had a horrible childhood full of physical and even sexual abuse, having some sort of genuine affection for Harley -- are pretty much ignored in more recent depictions. He's just purely unapologetically 'evil', which takes away so much from a very complex and interesting character.

As to the third question, regarding writing Batman and Joker and what to keep in mind... uh. That's complicated, once again. Whenever I write for a fandom I basically bathe my brain in content until I feel I have a good grasp on the characters, and then I just write. They do the work themselves afterwards. Sometimes I might really want to explore something but then the characters won't let me. It's an unconscious thing for me that's hard to break down into components. But in general, there's one thing I believe is essential when writing Batman and Joker in any iteration, and that's the fact they're equals. Sometimes fan depictions of Joker... woobify him a bit too much, turn him into a desperate emotional mess only craving Batman's attention. This takes away from the balance of power between them, in my opinion. Not to say Joker isn't obsesed with Batman and vocal about it; but he's also spent decades fighting him and harming him. Him giving up his entire identity that he so effortfully created in order to deal with his trauma (which is half-Batman related, half entirely not) just for Bruce's romantic attentions feels OOC to me. Not to mention it gives Bruce too much power over him, and the guy has enough problems with that as it is. He doesn't need another person he can control, he needs someone who can withstand his controlling tendencies and fight him on them.

I hope you found my answers interesting! Thank you again for the interest, and no worries. Don't know if there'll ever be a time when I get asked to rant about Batman and I don't jump on it. Hope you're doing okay, and take care too!

#asks #batman #batman meta #bruce wayne #joker #batjokes #batjokes meta #my meta #abuse mention

[tianshiisdead]

Hi! I'm going to be writing a loong final message for an ex friend under the readmore, it's very angry and upset and literally just talking about petty personal problems lol so please ignore it. To that ex friend, I know you know who you are and you will probably see this if you have someone tracking my blog, maybe you'll read this, maybe you won't. Either way, it's off my chest and somewhere you can see it. Don't worry, I don't use any names. Warnings for suicide mentions, suibaiting, the works.

Wow! The more I think about you the more I feel like a fucking idiot. I've mulled over this for ages, looked at all of our old chats, wrestled with tears and wondered what I could have done better. Here's my final speech, since you probably didn't read the one I sent last time we spoke.

What I did wrong: didn't set the hardest boundaries, only slightly pushed back when you triggered me and didn't call you out when you clearly triggered me on purpose for not giving you the response you wanted, brushed off your slur-calling and crudeness.

I apologize for that, I stand by the fact that I think I made my issues with your behavior clear since months ago, I honestly didn't mince my words that much, telling you when you hurt or scared me, asking you to be better, and jesus you know I'm not bsing because you always admitted fault and said you wanted to improve, you just never did. But I could have been harsher, meaner, obviously I should have been because you never took anything I said to heart in the long term.

Other than that, how dare you? How dare you think it was okay, whether I pushed back or not, to mock my family's experience with colonialism, and cultural genocide, the colonial violence that produced me, because I wasn't responding to you on voice call? Do you think it's okay to needle and mock things I've been vulnerable with you about and admitted to being sensitive about, just because I didn't call you out every time afterward? Some of the vile things you've said to me shouldn't even have crossed your MIND. How dare you think it was okay to threaten to kill yourself because I was asleep and didn't respond within a couple of hours? How dare you steamroll my boundaries for months after I told you I had a history of life-threatening disorders and weaponize it against me when I lightly disagreed with you on a political topic? How dare you talk behind my back? Do you think me telling you 'you're not a bad person but your actions hurt people' was me not setting boundaries? Do you think you were the only one with issues? I won't pretend you didn't comfort us at times and hype us up, you weren't a cartoon villain, but the amount of times you spoke over us when we were speaking but would RAGE if we didn't respond to you instantly?

How dare you. I destroyed my health to support yours, not because I was up for the task but because you made me feel like, flat-out stated that you would hurt yourself if I didn't and it would be my fault. And to be fair, other times I did reach out myself BECAUSE I CARED ABOUT YOU. And this is how you discard me? I know you feel guilty lol, you always spoke about feeling guilty after hurting us month after month and you'd give a half-assed apology, talk about being on whatever arc, and then continue doing what you always did. You could analyze your own behavior and recognize all of your shittalking behind people's backs was due to your own complexes, yet always stopped short of actually reflecting in a way that brought change. Our last conversation was pathetic. If you genuinely thought you were in the right, I would honestly respect that more. But I know you're guilty, you just refuse to confront that guilt. You refuse to take responsibility and fully deal with how you acted. You always want to blame it on something, you always need to make it about people hating you or being unlovable and evil or whatever unavoidable tragedy, get over yourself, you acted in a shitty way and now it's confronting you, it's not deep or tragic, it's just a shitty human thing you did.

And you know what, I've also been in a place where I've hurt a friend because of a similar mental illness, constantly needy and feeling like she hated me, constantly leaving our chats and spiraling and speaking to her about things she hated but she never told me she hated because she wanted me to be able to talk to her. And at one point she confronted me and told me how she felt, like I and our mutual friend told you. And I'm sorry but I felt bad too, I was also resentful, I wondered why she had never told me and wondered why she didn't set boundaries harder, and I also sat down and reflected and apologized properly. I knew and she knew my actions weren't completely my own, but I still hurt her and overstepped, and from the bottom of my heart I didn't want to lose a friend who I loved. So I apologized properly, not because I didn't want to feel guilty or because I wanted to move on with my life. I apologized because I hurt her, someone I cared about. I suppose that's too much for you to do.

Fuck you and I hope you go to therapy. I know you see me, and our mutual friends as a bad chapter you can discard, that you'll just move on without ever confronting the things you've done to us, some of them worse than what you've done to me, but you were my friend and I cared about you and gave my health and time to you because I wanted to see you happy and thriving. Sometimes I see the unfinished things I was going to draw for you and make with you and cry, and I know you don't have the heart to feel that way for me.

Final note. You told me a few conversations before our final one that you wanted to move on, make better friends that suited you better, make things better for yourself. And that's fine, but also kind of heartless. I don't regret our friendship, though I regret how you hurt us. I cared about you, and I gave you my time because I cared about you. I regret that when it got too much and I told you, over and over and over again through the months, you acknowledged what was wrong and then brushed it off and never changed. I regret that you see us as a bad chapter, guilt you have to get rid of, and not as individuals who cared about you, who you ultimately hurt and discarded. You really are on your grindset lol, always improving yourself, discarding the ones who don't improve you. Life isn't just about improving and grindset, other people have feelings too that aren't just there to build your character arc. We all fuck up and hurt people dude, and sometimes we have to just own up to it.

#hater tag #suicide cw #personal #diary #genuinely please scroll JKLFDHGJLF I JUST NEEDED TO PUT THIS SOMEWHERE THEY COULD SEE... WEH

[domesticated-whores]

list of reasons why i kin angel dust

absolutely nobody asked or cares, and it absolutely goes into headcanon & projecting territory, but it's my void and i can scream into it how i please, so--

also, tiny note, i am loose and casual with kinning. i'm just saying heavily relate to the point that i can easily see myself parallel that character.

gay femboy supremacy 💅💅

nice tits (his are fluff, i'm transmasc and am too fem to care to go into debt over physical transition... either way, we got soft titties)

wearing pleasers ✨️exclusively✨️ (i also wear demonias, but they're owned by pleasers)

earlier iterations of him were more genderfluid but he's now canonly a cis man, i use to think i was more genderfluid due to being super fem (presenting) sometimes and being just meh about my body but am now confident that i'm just a really genderqueer trans dude.

doesn't overly mind fem language, *sometimes* intentionally uses it. refers to self decently androgynously (alternating between "fem" and "masc" shit)

pet mama 💕

my cats are my babies, i'd die and kill for them, genuinely one of the only lights in my life

animal lover in general, honestly!! babes, they're so fucking cute!!

i also prefer fucking ugly/weird animals like farm animals, trash animals (possums, raccoons, etc), some reptiles, and spiders

spiders are my very favorite creatures, so yeah i fw the spider character

overworked at a shitty job that there's no real way out of

like, i didn't sell my soul ig but i live in a small area and don't drive, and my cats need food and a roof over their little baby noggins, so mama needs a job no matter the cost

also, TOXIC fucking work environment. not comparable to workplace abuse, but FUCK--

and i ✨️ain't doing that shit sober✨️ bbgirl, i DRINK because of that place.

((that's a half-truth, i don't go TO work drunk because i am not subtle, but the instant i'm out and have any money--))

i also work A LOT, honestly. icky, nasty, 'sgusting.

✨️inferiority complex and heavy masking✨️

feet are weird, i especially hate my own

don't touch my feet, don't look at my feet, if anyone's around imma be in socks or smth, feet are a hard no for me

let's 👏 talk 👏 kink 👏

into bdsm and generally kinky shit

✨️ SUPER sex positive ✨️

growing collection of ✨️toys✨️ that i'm becoming increasingly proud of

it's a part of life, so i really don't see any taboo in fucking??

willing to try almost ANYTHING if i stand to gain from it or just to see if i'm into it

✨️ switch ✨️

PRAISE ME

... or, alternatively DEGRADE ME

on the regular, i just want to feel safe and loved and lowkey spoiled--

but i also fuck HARD with the spicy stuff

honestly, hardcore things are more professional than intimate

((i don't do sw, but i am into kink in a very nerdy, special interest, academic type of way... fuck me so i can write an essay about the dynamics at play, daddy~!))

on that note,, ✨️ trauma ✨️

specifically, sa :)

sa that really changes how you see and use sex, and how you outwardly PRETEND to see and use sex

being manipulated by someone you cared about in some way

((luckily, mine was short-lived... only the aftermath was long-lasting))

there's also family trauma :)

the idea of going no contact--

i kin people that are no/low contact because FUCK~ it's a lovely concept. i personally can't for... reasons... but if i could

will make the cheap-shot sex joke

i vape only the fruitiest bullshit flavors and, like, rip angel you would have loved this straw-blueberry vape with this funky abstract art on it bby

that's just, like, off the top of my head. idk, idk. he's literally me. not on everything, but he's the character i've related to the hardest in a HOT SECOND.

also, love the fact that all of this is true but also valentino is my fucking all time favorite character and my pfp. like, i look at angel and am hit with most deep and profound sense of "this is a character a that i relate to and see myself in to an insane degree" and then i turn around and see his fucking abuser and, with my FULL fucking chest go "scrumbly wittle bpd princess man 💕, i wuvs him 💕, i couldn't fix him but i could break him and mold him into my little disaster housewife 💕" like a fucking insane person. it's fine, it's fine, their literally cartoons!! i'm delulu about drawings!! it's okay!!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hh #angel dust #angel dust kin #kinnie #fickin #fictionkin

[nappingpaperclip]

happy very late trans day of visibility we stay winning 💪💪 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Trans people please rb and add your gfms and cashapps 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Gonna get a bit personal cause to be honest? I don’t think non trans people really understand what it is like to be trans right now and some of y’all really need to hear this.

People outside of the man/woman sex dichotomy have existed in every culture throughout history since humans have existed. Yet people are still using the argument that being trans is a “trend” that young people are falling/being groomed into

This rhetoric leeches out of politics into the minds of young people, who turn around and externalize it onto their peers. Trans people, and especially young trans people are being bullied, harassed, followed home, beaten, raped, brutalized, and killed every day because of this line of thinking.

It’s literally the same argument used against gay people in the early 2000’s and 2010’s. I was there. I heard it growing up. It made it take much longer for me to realize that I was bisexual because of it. Because I didn’t want to be just hop on a “trend.” Well, more like I didn’t want to be accused of that. I didn’t want to be seen as less than over something I didn’t think was that big of a deal.

To be honest, I find that it was more accurate to say that I was being groomed into being a cis straight girl.

As someone who was actually groomed, and who knew I was not cis before that btw thank you very much, it’s fucking frustrating to see this argument be used to make it harder for me and other people like me to safely exist. It’s so fucking frustrating to see people co-opt my OWN trauma to take away my agency, and make it 1000x more dangerous for trans people, and especially trans women, to just literally exist.

Others tell us that our existence is a violation of biology, science, logic, or reason. Laughs in biology student. The human body is a complex organism with many moving and changeable parts. Humans are complex emotional beings with incredibly diverse cultures and roles within their respective societies. Biology isn’t as simple as XY and XX, and I’m tired of hearing this argument from people who don’t understand basic biology, and who don’t understand how language, science, and gender relate to culture.

It’s frustrating because even the “gender abolitionists” who claim to want to throw off the roles of womanhood still try to pin me and people like me into roles that fit their narrow worldview.

I cannot escape the roles that other people push on me, ever. I just want to exist. I can’t use EITHER bathroom without feeling unwelcome and unsafe. I can’t use a computer without articles and videos bashing trans people and our “dangerous gender ideology” or whatever popping up and ruining my day by making me feel guilty for literally just existing. I can’t look at the comments section on any post mentioning trans people, especially from my own local news, without seeing hateful comments wishing people like me death, saying we are all pedophile groomers, that we are delusional and should be locked up, that we need to be rounded up and shot to protect the children or traditional families or whatever.

Even the way people LOOK at me is dehumanizing and at times, humiliating.

I can’t go a single day at work or at school or in public without being stared at like I am some kind of freak because people can’t immediately tell what genitals I have. It doesn’t matter how polite I am or how small I make myself.

We remember the way you treat us. It sticks with us, shapes how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with the world. Just one of the many moments that still sticks with me was recently when I spoke at a city council meeting. I had a progress flag and a picture of Nex Benedict. This lady sat next to me and was kind and polite, until she saw the flag, and then she clammed up and refused to talk to me when I tried politely asking her something. You’d think I’d threatened her or was violating her rights just by being there the way she was looking at me.

Do y’all understand how fucking bad that feels? Seeing people make the connection, seeing the way their face drops as you watch them lose respect and all care for you in real time? Over something you can’t control? Something that doesn’t even effect them?

People literally see me and freeze, give me whale eyes and refuse to speak to me because they can’t tell what I am. I am a person. I try my best to be good and do good. Why is that not enough?

I’ve been told my whole life to just shut up and take it. No. No, I won’t do that. That doesn’t suit me at all. If you have a problem with that, that says more about you than it does me. You don’t get to complain about trans people making themselves be heard or making our transness a “part of our personality” when y’all harass and bully and kill us every day. It’s part of my personality because of the way I’ve been treated for it. I spent years of my life wishing and begging and dreaming that I was not trans, but it didn’t work. I tried very hard for so long to convince myself that I was cis. I can’t be something I’m not. My transness is a part of me and I will spend the rest of my life fighting for basic kindness and respect because of it.

If you wanted us to shut up then you’d leave us alone. Our existence is not part of some grand scheme or conspiracy. Our bodies and lives are not collateral damage.

Trans people are just people. We just want to be treated like people. We just want to live our lives without being forced into a box all the time.

You don’t have to “get it,” you don’t even have to agree, but you do have to respect our agency and respect that we know ourselves better than you do. Mind your own damn business. What we do to our bodies, how we dress or act, what bathroom we use, it does not affect you. Live and let live. Our existence should not be stomped out because it makes some people uncomfortable or confused.

We are people. We deserve to live. Let us live. Let trans people live

And to any other trans folk reading this: thank you for being here. You are a boundless, beautiful soul, and you are so, so loved. Your life is precious. Please keep fighting with us. I know it is scary right now but we will make it through this.

Our stories, our love, our hopes and dreams can never be stomped out or erased. I’m holding your hand and fighting with you. Let’s show love to the most vulnerable members of our community, like the black trans women and black trans men who need our support now more than ever, and the young ones who are terrified to go to school. You deserve to live. We all deserve to live. Your community is waiting for you with open arms. We will always cherish and support you, no matter what.

Sorry for the long personal post. I hope nothing but safety and love to everyone reading this, even if my existence or this post makes you upset. We are all human and everything else is secondary. Political, gender, class and other labels just divide us when we would be stronger together.

Love is always, always more powerful and more fufilling than hate.

If you can spare a few bucks please consider supporting my partner’s top surgery and survival fund. Thank you 💕

#.txt #trans #transgender #trans day of visibility #tdov #tdov 2024 #happy tdov