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uhgood-girl · 7 months

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why jikook?

i've been asking myself this a lot recently bc well, why them? why not tkook? or ynmin? hell, jihope even, they're underrated as hell honestly, have you seen that hot tub video? hobi was ready to unhinge his jaw to swallow jimin whole (and who (jk) could blame him.)

but jikook, in a not joking way, hits different. they always have. it's been years at this point that i've been deep in this rabbit hole (within the larger bts rabbit hole, my god, how deep does it go) but i don't recall making the conscious decision to fall in.

maybe a little background?

i'm a fake love army. actually, if we're getting technical, i'm an outro tear army bc it was in the comments of the freshly released fake love music video that i saw someone recommend outro tear if i enjoyed fake love and then it was over for me. extremely not fake love at first listen, who's voice is second on this track? i NEED to know. i'm a yoongi/rapline bias to this day. fake love still fucks though, don't get me wrong, it's a never skip for me.

for that first year and then some, i consumed backlogged content like it was my day job. i am a prone to hyper-fixations hermit, basically, who was going to stop me? my therapist? nah, she picks her battles.

i watched everything i could get my grubby little hands on like someone would be testing me on it later. (shoutout qdeoks, you were so real) i didn't open stan twitter for the first time till probably the end of 2018, really just in time to be slapped in the face full force with the shitshow that was a hate campaign against these boys i was deeply invested in by then, the likes of which i had never experienced in an online space up to that point. it was a truly, truly wild era, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

all that to say, i've been here for a hot minute and i developed my own first impressions on bts and the members as individuals in a vacuum. no one had to point jikook out to me, they stuck out on their own.

potentially relevant disclaimer before we continue: i am really really queer. i grew up in the united states conservative deep south and had to change high schools my sophomore year bc i was outed and then violently ostracized for being in a relationship with my same sex best friend at the time. it is safe to say i have a lot of feelings about and experience even when it comes to having to be low key (understatement lol) about who you love. i am not here just to make my barbies kiss.

actually, on that note, jikook wouldnt even be my chosen barbies out of bts. if we're in true fantasy delulu hours here, i would want yoonjin to be real. god, that would be the stuff, they're so old married as it is. peak romance.

i think the first place jikook ever truly caught my attention were the memories dvds. jimin has always been a sweet, bby angel taking care of all his members but i remember thinking that he seemed to pay a little extra, special attention to jungkook. and of course, why not, jk's the maknae after all. all of them have always been doting on him and deservedly so. but in those briefly shown really serious, quiet moments, jimin was often first in line. a spot very easy for him to obtain tbh as jk never seemed to be very far from him anyway. maybe if you've never in real time lived the satellite jeon accusations (hi pandemic army, bless you, i hope you make it to 2025 when we have them all back without restrictions) you might find them easier to dismiss but it was so consistent back then in all of the content being released. and once noticed, i don't know how anyone ever un-notices it. but i was in deep before i even realized the water was boiling.

should i talk about why not tkook? or ynmin, for me? i'm just pulling those as examples bc i know they're the popular contenders here but all joking in the beginning of this post aside, none of the other members interpersonal relationships, in any configuration (sadly, RIP yoonjin romance), have ever struck me as anything other than puppy crush/deep friendship/family. and that's not bc i don't think over half of those men aren't queer in some form or fashion because WHEW, that is an entirely different post and we simply do not have the time to unpack rn but it's not for lack of looking.

i started in a vacuum, but i have by no means stayed there, i walked in all of those front doors and sat down and said "convince me." i've got the time and lack of life, i am ready to be won over. what have i missed?

to this day i still regularly try and check my own confirmation bias, i'm obviously looking for jikook at this stage but i'm still ready on my toes if any of the others want to get crazy. (yoonjin i am rooting for you, we're all rooting for you)

and i'm not here to really persuade or sway anyone one way or another either. there are a 1000 other blogs on this site that can probably offer you better explanations, specific clips, and detailed break downs of moments throughout the years and even then people are going to see what they want to see. i just wanted to write some of my own thoughts down finally.

though...i guess if i had to point to any one single piece of "evidence" it would definitely be tried and true gcf tokyo? but if watching that the first time didn't ring through you like a gunshot, i def don't think there's anything i could say beyond that.

honestly, i think so much of "why jikook" for me boils down to the pit in the bottom of my stomach that i used to get when i first began to notice them. when i got past the initial warm fuzzies inspired by the sincerity of their interactions, my immediate second emotion was concern.

i remember the first time i heard some of the other boys make an offhand joke about them being a couple and i got anxious, fast. i thought hide, hide better, please be safe. i began to pay extra attention to the other members in general too when jikook would do things and felt like i could sometimes see a similar anxiety to my own in their expressions. for a long time, i just worried about them and where i saw other people rejoice in their more obvious moments, i was slow to celebrate.

despite my initial hesitation, it's now been about 5 years since the first time they ever made me double take. they're a few years younger than me but i feel like we've been growing up together. (parasocial? idk her.) they're less conspicuous these days, and for lots of obvious reasons, but i feel like overall, their confidence in themselves and each other is quite high. i know that's probably a funny thing to say in light of this last week especially, but i stand by it. i've seen this song and dance before. i have managed my own expectations in the past, taken full steps back only to be beaten anew over the head so many times with enough "coincidences" i felt borderline foolish to try and deny anything. jikook are truly some sort of neuro-spicy pattern recognition drug, i swear.

and i've never really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone before! i'm shy irl, and shy online apparently bc i have just been lurking around the outer lines of this circle this whole time like some creepy creep but i've decided i'm over it. fuck it. growth.gif. idk that i have anything important or new to contribute to the conversation but my god, no one else seems to let that stop them so i might as well take my turn on the soapbox, no?

so 📢 JIKOOK REAL (?) jikook sus. jikook make bandaged queer little heart go boom boom.

#jikook #kookmin #hi hello welcome to the personal jikook ted talk literally no one asked for #in this essay i

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pluto-supremacy · 10 months

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Hobie Brown headcanons: dating a gn!autistic!reader

➼These headcanons are based off some struggles I deal with myself as an autistic person, what my friends with autism face, and what i have seen and researched online. Autism is a spectrum and remember that everyone has different needs and levels of support, I just tried to include what i know in this post!

➼ Inspired by @hobie-enthusiast's fic QUIET AND EASE ! If you haven't read it you totally should! His writing is amazing and he has some of the best Hobie fics on here!

➼ No beta we die like uncle Aaron

➼No warnings here! Contains fluff

GIF doesn't belong to me! All credits to the original owner

Hobie is in tune with your needs, spidey-sense and all. He's pretty good at being able to predict when you're going to have a meltdown and will throw anyone out of the room to give you some space to calm down and work through it

Has ear defenders or headphones on him at all times and spare sets around his flat just for you

If you let him/want him to he will totally paint them for you, whatever you want

New safe food? He's stocked up like he's preparing for a blizzard

Never pressures you to try new foods or to 'get out of your comfort zone', but will encourage you if that is what you want

Safe food turned against you? He's boycotting it with you

"Luv I ain't ev'n like [food]"

Has invested in several weighted blankets of various weights

If you have sensory issues with clothing (tags, hate the feel of certain material, etc) but still want to steal his clothes, he will happily modify your favorite pieces of his so you can wear it. Hell, his whole closet even

Despite hating consistancy, he knows how important routine is to you and will throw that belief away in a heartbeat (just for you though)

Helps you with transitions, like giving ten minute warnings before you two go out, getting you a nice fluffy robe to make getting out of the shower easier, or writing out what you're doing for the day and when so you can mentally prepare yourelf

Will listen for hours about your special interest, even if you think he wouldn't care or like it. Hello Kitty? He's listening. Enbalming methods from the 1800's? Doesn't matter, you have his full attention and loves learning about whatever you love

If you're non-verbal, selectivly mute, or low-verbal, he finds other ways to help you communicate. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable and heard. 'Yes/No' buttons? You've got them. Flash cards with your needs? Got it on a clip and all so you can carry it around easier, and he helps you decorate them. Signing? Hobie's learning BSL now so he can understand you (and honestly loves signing with you)

Hobie has a huge fidget toy collection that you're welcome to take from at any time, no questions asked

New hyperfixation? He'll get you what you need to do it. Embroidary? He's already got needles and thread, you can practice on his clothes. Same with sewing, he'll teach you if you want. A new video game? He borrows the console needed just for you

He knows that he can get a little loud, especially when going out as spiderpunk. Hobie's mindful to keep his voice down around you and will remind anyone else if they're getting too loud

A/N: Might end up adding more to this in the future! Just wanted to finally post something and it's 4 am-

#across the spiderverse #spider punk #hobie brown #atsv hobie #hobie x reader #hobie x gn!reader #fluff #headcanons #hcs #hobie brown headcanons #hobie brown spider punk #hobie brown spiderverse

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sophie-looks-at-stuff · 10 months

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Some random modern HotD headcanons :)

Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)

Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.

Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.

Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.

While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".

Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.

Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.

I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".

Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.

Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.

Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.

Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.

Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.

Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.

Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.

Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...

Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.

I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.

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angelatsumu · 2 years

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endearing things hajime does.

in which dating hajime is full of love.

warnings: none, just sweet little fluff ; author is a little unrealistic about bf!haji but it's for a good cause.

he’s always been an attentive lover, but he hasn’t been the best at words. he’s never nonverbal, but he does struggle to come to your level of talkative sometimes. when he gets off work, he’s so tired (of athletes and scolding them) that he can barely muster words aside from “mhm” and “oh yeah?”. even if you’re being intimate after a long day apart, haji can have moments where he’s just not verbally equiped. it was something he hated about himself, but you found it cute. you liked to think of it as his ‘himbo hours’, and he kinda loves the term. he’d never admit to sometimes engaging himbo hours on purpose because he knows how endearing you find his short quips to be after a long day. he also lives for your sweet little “oh, you’re just head empty aren’t ya baby?” as you finish your spiel about your day.

haji has always been stronger and bigger than you, more looming no matter what he does. he towers over you in all he does, big frame taking up a little too much of your personal space. despite his big size, you always manage to corner him in the bed, forcing him to the edge as you take up all the space. haji gets used to this, unable to sleep without the soft pressure of your arm or leg splayed across his chest or abdomen. he also loving clutches whatever limb you sling on him, humming softly as he drifts to sleep.

haji demands the two of you share a spotify account. you think he’s being frugal, but really he just likes to know what you’re listening to throughout the work day. every morning around 9 or so, you kick him off of his training playlist, and he grins as he looks down to see what you’re listening to. he also enjoys having a record of what you play the most, and he even more so enjoys your shared “Spotify Wrapped” at the end of the year. every year he saves a screen cap of your top five, and he compares them from year to year.

haji loves date night. date night is like his met gala, and he loves to wow you with new places, looks, and surprises. haji takes pride in his venue selection and outing itinerary. he usually likes to set out an outfit for you the morning of, promising to meet you at the venue because he finds it more exciting to do this grand reveal; it reminds him of your wedding day. you find your husband charming no matter the attire, but he’s always sure to surprise you even more than before. haji also likes this tradition when you can manage to record a ‘Vogue Beauty Secrets’ style video for him to enjoy later.

speaking of those Vogue Beauty Secrets videos, haji loves to watch them with you as you do your skincare routine. he initially griped about how lame celebrities all look the same or use the same shit, but the more you watched the harder it was for him to ignore. it was really just background noise for you, but haji became invested. he started encouraging you to record them for him whenever he was away traveling for work, and he even began filming some for you to enjoy. he pretends to be upset with you when you leak one to the team and their fans.

rb's + likes appreciated.

i was just dumped, and i am still in pain so please be kind and indulge with me <3

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feyspeaker · 6 months

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Hiii! Gosh, I love your work SO MUCH. You recently mentioned in an answer to someone that you have ADHD and because of that, you have lots of rituals for your work in order to stay focused. May I ask what your routine is? I have struggled for years and years as a working artist to control or harness my adhd, and I would love to hear what works for you!! Thank you so much for even reading this :)))

Hi there!! Thank you so much. ♥

I'm probably a terrible person to give advice, because I absolutely do NOT have a handle on my ADHD. I often feel like I'm drowning in it, as I'm sure a lot of other people in the same situation can commiserate with. A lot of my issues are exacerbated by my agoraphobia and anxiety, but I won't go too into that stuff because I am not really in a place to talk about that aspect of my life so much. I do think I've become more aware of it as I have gotten older and am definitely better at managing it than I was when I was younger. Also to start off, I'm not medicated for it.

First and foremost, I tend to need to overstimulate myself in order to get down to painting, though this is only so effective. I play really loud, very noisy music when I work. Angelspit, Combichrist, The Gazette, etc. Heavy electronic, industrial, nu metal kind of stuff. It helps drown out my thoughts so I can focus on painting. I need to Not Think to be able to paint. I have to already know I'm in flow state on something and really into it if I'm going to be playing mellower stuff.

I also like to play youtube videos or shows on things I'm currently fixated on. Like I'll watch nothing but videos on Welsh folklore or horse training or whatever the hell. I really struggle with listening to audiobooks or podcasts because they aren't engaging enough.

I have parental controls on my computer set up so that I can block out any distracting websites, however this is really not super helpful because I have to keep social media open at all times as it's part of my job to manage those things. It does help some though. It might work for you! They make browser extensions for it.

I try to keep momentum on pieces. I can't let a piece sit for more than a few days, or I know it's time to bin it and give up. I either hyperfixate on a painting until it's done, or it's not good enough and it's going to be like an anchor dragging my momentum down. The second I feel momentum waning I know I need to make a change. I've made huge changes to how I take commissions in order to help me with this, as this is my biggest struggle. I hate sending updates on things, waiting for emails, painting things I'm not super invested in, etc. I recognize that I am incredibly blessed/lucky to be in a position to be a little pickier about the work I take on and how I take it. But I do firmly believe in general that a commission based artist should try to make sure they are doing work they enjoy and not just slogging away on something that they don't vibe with at all. That's good advice for anyone, but I do think that us folk with ADHD tend to feel burnout and artblock harder. I know when I have artblock literally NOTHING can get me to paint, so that's why momentum is so important.

I also try to recognize things that I know are going to trigger me into avoiding what I need to do for the day, or causing me to spiral. For example, if I know I need to make a phone call I try to do that first if at all possible, otherwise I am going to end up not getting anything done for the next 6 hours. If I know I'm going to have to have to leave the house for an appointment or something scheduled, I typically just let that day be a wash and don't plan any work for it. I end up physically ill when I have something I have to go out and do (like going to some appointment or even something small like going to pick something up off of FB marketplace) so I try to just Avoid That, but if I can't I will just clear my schedule for the day.

I try to maximize my Good Days by minimizing things that trigger my procrastination/lack of motivation/distractions. But when I have bad days I just try not to beat myself up about it. (Still do, but I'm trying to get better.)

The worst thing is letting a whole day be wasted sitting there, knowing the time is passing. Knowing that there is something you should be doing, but you're not doing it. Knowing that you don't want to be doing that thing, and that you'd rather be playing a game or painting something else. But not doing that either. And before you know it, the sun is setting and you've done no work AND had no fun and it's time for bed. Ugh, I've had so many days like that.

It's important to recognize when that is happening, and to just say "fuck it" and go do the fun thing you want to do instead of toiling for hours in indecision. That's probably bad advice for people who have poor responsibility skills (like actually making sure to get work done on the good days) but I am saying this in good faith. Sometimes when that happens I'll let myself go bake a bunch of bread or obsessively clean a cabinet out so I still feel like I did something that day. Next day, I try to do better.

I don't know if this is helpful at all- I know people with ADHD have a lot of different experiences/tendencies, but this is what helps me. I slipped a lot after my dad's cancer diagnosis several years ago and felt myself really just completely letting go into the ADHD time void because my thoughts and worries were so loud I couldn't drown them out with all the screamo in the world. I started fixating on BG3 really hard near the end, and it's absolutely responsible for me being Okay artistically and emotionally speaking after his passing last month. I think difficult situations can make our symptoms worse, and to an extent we have to ride the wave and be kind to ourselves.

That's perhaps my closing thought- be patient and kind to yourself. Our brains don't really work right but it can be a blessing in that I think the flow state we are capable of is really something otherwordly. So try to identify what helps trigger that in you and foster it.

#ask

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marshmallowprotection · 6 months

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What do you think about June from The Ssum? Are you interested in that game or maybe decided not to play?

Let's slap out the first statement that needs to be said about the Ssum. I do not support the use of AI. I am disappointed in Cheritz. Someone suggested, and I agree, that they should've utilized the programs that many webtoon artists use to make backgrounds on time crunches if that was a concern; Or, they could've continued to do what they've been doing over the years by using stock images in the game that are royalty free. They did it in Mystic Messenger and the Sssum at the start. There is no ethical or morally correct reason to use AI.

I want that shit to die out like NFTs steadily are because I hate seeing artists, actors, writers, voice actors, etc robbed by these AIs. It leaves a damn sour taste in my mouth to think about the people being hurt by AI right now, and I can't believe Cheritz would ever think it would be okay to do that. I'm very disappointed in them as a company that prides itself on the happiness of others but they stooped to using AI in their game. That's not okay nor will it ever be okay. I pray they stop and listen to their fanbase about this shit.

But, as far as my interest in the Ssum goes outside of that fact?

Ever since it first came out, I simply did not enjoy the gameplay. It didn't take me long to realize that the Sssum wasn't a game for me, personally.

I felt overwhelmed by the amount of options placed in front of me, and while it is a learning curve to pick up a new game, the more that stood in front of me to do, the less I felt I understood and the more I wanted to pull my hair out. The interface was super busy, there was a lot to do! However, I attempted to give it a try for a few days with Teo because sometimes you have to try something to see if you can learn how to do everything and then enjoy it after better understanding the setup of the game. So, I tried to look past the amount of things to do and focus on the story.

Teo didn’t do anything for me interest wise. He didn't have anything interesting about him that worked for me romantically. So, it was hard for me to become invested when I was put in a situation where I didn't have a choice but to romance one character and he didn’t fit my type. That’s not a knock to Teo as a character, either, he just isn’t my type and therefore I had a hard time feeling drawn him to talk to him.

I don't think Harry is my type, either, so had I tried again when his route came out, I would've inevitably quit again. This is not a knock to the characters. This is personal preference thing! Just because they are not interesting to me doesn't mean that they're not interesting characters, it just means I don't feel interested in them enough to care about their stories.

If I'm going to be spending all my time focusing on having a major relationship with these characters, I need to be invested in them. I need a hook and something that excites me about them from the beginning. There was no draw for me and I felt no need to continue playing when there was no interest for me to keep doing so. I didn't feel an incentive to learn more about them because they weren’t my type.

Microtransactions are a real problem these days. The Ssum has a lot of them in its game package. Listen, it is important that companies get money to be able to continue to create their games and do more, and I understand that for some games, microtransactions are always going to be there and there's nothing we can do about that. I miss when you could pay for videos games with a one-time purchase. But, unfortunately, those days are gone and I don't know if they will ever come back.

People deserve to be paid for their time and energy they put into a game, regardless of what they did for that game, and this is one of the ways that people get paid. Microtransactions help pay for the things that keep these mobile games alive. The servers will always cost them a hefty penny, writers, programmers, artists, etc need to get their money as well.

However, when you are playing a game that offers itself to you as something that you can play for free, then your enjoyment of that game should not be limited by the fact that you don't want to pay. A lot of major story elements are locked behind a paywall, and that takes away a lot of the enjoyment a player can have in this game. I do think it's complicated to figure out where to place the paid options in a game, but having them lock away key parts of the story that let you enjoy yourself just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Maybe I was spoiled by just how free Mystic Messenger is. My enjoyment of a chat room is not locked behind my ability to pay for a better answer. I can say anything I want to say in the chat room and I can find out what happens in every replay. I don't have to spend money on batteries to be able to pick a better answer to learn more about the character.

Now, about June as a character.

I do not appreciate his connection to Jumin Han. Because, to me, he is the family man and if he had a sibling, half-related or not, he would be there for them no matter what. If he knew about them, he would be there, and he would do everything within his power to make sure that they had a connection that nobody could break apart. Out of all the characters to make a family connection to, I don't know why the hell they thought it was a good idea to give Jumin Han one when he would've never gone a day without mentioning that he had a brother.

The only way I can reasonably think about this connection is if he was not informed that he had a brother at all until recently. Now, I'm not playing that game, but I do not think that's the way they're angling it. I think it was established that they already know about each other in this universe and they aren't close. That's not how Jumin Han would handle his life.

You mean to tell me that the character who wants nothing more than to have a family is not close to his half sibling? You want to tell me... that he's had a half-sibling this entire time, one that he knows about, and he's not close to him at all? That's not in character for him. All he has ever wanted was a family.

But, he didn't get that in his life.

He was an only child who was neglected by his parents, left to fend for himself emotionally all the time. He spent his childhood alone in every sense of the word when he wasn't with Jihyun Kim, and when he wasn't alone, he was either being sexually harassed by his father's partners or being threatened by people who wanted to hold him for ransom if he was caught by himself for just a moment away from his home. Before that, when he was left with his mother, she would lock him away in the basement and demand he stay there until he learned how to be "normal".

God, I think about that sometimes, and I think about the fact that he diminishes his trauma because he feels as though his trauma needs to be diminished because he grew up privileged. He understands his privilege as a child of a wealthy man but he discounts his own trauma in doing so. Anyone can suffer, regardless of status, and it's hard to see him knock himself down.

The only thing this man has ever wanted was to experience what it felt like to grow up with a normal family. That's why he cherishes the idea of family so much. That's why he is filled with so much love for the RFA and his MC, friends. Because they become the family he's always wanted. They become what he always deserved. So, to think about him having a sibling that he's always known about and he has nothing to do with feels wrong.

He is the kind of person who pushes for families to talk to each other and be there for one another, so why isn't he there for his brother? The only way you could play that off would be to say that he had no idea he had a little brother until recently.

I think they could take that somewhere if it was written that way, because it would devastate his worldview. He would be beside himself to think that he had a connection out there that he was never allowed to get close to. To think that he was never allowed to get close to his brother because his mother hated him so much. I don't like his mother in any sense of the word. I could see her doing that to him.

She is a materialistic and greedy woman who only cares about her wants and needs, and it's already hard enough for me to imagine her having another child because she does not seem like the kind of person who wants to have children. She seems like the kind of person who would only have a child to ensure her comfort in life. She does not seem like a person who would view a child as their own person, instead seeing them as a money ticket. I don't know anything about June and the way his life has shaped up with Carolyn as a mother. I don't know how that dynamic works with them, but I sure know how horrible of a parent she is to Jumin.

It can't be much better for June.

I can't rationalize anything about the connection between him and Jumin.

At the end of the day, I want Mystic Messenger and the Ssum to exist as their own games. It is one thing to have Easter eggs in your game that tie back to the things that that company has done before. Like, I think we all love a little callback! Nameless and Dandelion had some references all over Mystic Messenger and there was nothing wrong with that. Those were fun little homages and call back to things that you might have played before.

But, when you tie your new game so inherently to the last game, it cannot stand by itself. People don't play because they want to learn more about the new and exciting characters that are in your new game, they are playing because they want more content about the characters from the other game. I know many people feel the same way about that because I have seen a lot of conversations about what it means to tie these characters together.

It does a major disservice to characters like Teo, Harry, and June.

It was one thing when they did little tie-ins like Jaehee picking up Teo’s phone for a day or Zen being a host at a television show! I had nothing wrong with those instances because it was nice to see them. But, now that they are so inherently tied together and it changes so much canon we thought we knew from the start, I don’t know how to feel. I don't like it. June's story changes Jumin's story and now, when you're playing Mystic Messenger, you're going to have to live with the fact that Jumin has a brother who is never mentioned.

You know, had they established the fact that he had a half brother he knew nothing about in that bad ending dlc, maybe this wouldn't have been such an issue, because then, there would have been something to play with narratively that made sense, but I don't know, I'm losing my mind over here. I have nothing but critiques all day for this shit.

#discourse #this is really all i have to say about it

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ah0yh0y · 8 months

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tagged by @ribcagelikepiano for the get to know you game!! thx friend !!!!!

questions: last song you listened to, currently watching, currently reading, current obsession

last song: Come Hang Out by AJR off the top of my head by my tabs say Providence by Poor Mans Poison . Come Hang Out feels so nostalgic to me even if i only listened to it recently reminds me of a graduation song (it came out 5 yrs ago so it makes sense. I just really love Poor Mans Poison's vibes generally great fuel for daydream and also matches well with the feeling of revolution (and seeing everything collapse i guess.) (ish) mentally listening to Your Love is All I Need by Sami Yusuf tho at all times lately, probs because i have been trying to wean myself off listening to music for like the 50th time. (its slow going but IM GONNA TRY inshaallah ill be able to do it) (he also took the old nasheed music video off his channel? sad its so good)

currently watching: does d20 mentopolis count? only watched one ep but its good. i havent watched anything regularly besides like school vids for a bit. tried watching the dragon prince s5 when it came out but buffering (the video player i mean) and dissatisfaction at the pacing and characterization kinda stopped me. ill back on it at the end of the yr when everything is settled. if we are talking about podcasts started relistening to wolf 359 and keeping up with the greater gatsby (the latter has SUBLIME noir vibes as it is a noir i bloody love shipwreck's work it scratches that itch in my brain so well) . i may have seen spoilers for wolf 359 so i am anxiously waiting to see if i am proved wrong but im on s4 so its soon prepare for a barrage of reblogs for it. watched s4 of malory towers it was very nice i cant wait for s5 - the pantomime hopefully we get new members for the older years next season i miss the larger cast

currently reading: not much really. fanfic alot. i guess. caught up to the end of the To Make a Legend series on ao3 (pjo) and other fics for a couple of other fandoms (in one false move by Kalidium is really good if your into murder most unladylike - spoilers for A Spoonful of Murder though) also been reading barbie 2023 fanfic? was bored and started hunting for good ones (slim picking at the moments but if you want character study and grief and some bloody good writing def read something in me in you by telm_393 i cant explain it its that good) also reread My Memories Came Back in the Form of Someone Else by Lucy_Luna yes its that really good spiderverse fanfic do check it out

BESIDES THAT THO in terms of actual books. have the audiobook saved for The Valley and The Flood so gonna listen to that later. Have to read The Hate Race for class (not my fave but i need for analysis ive read it like 3 times but I STILL DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING) .

started rereading The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes a couple of weeks ago ahead of the movie coming out at the end of this year but never got the chance to finish it so ill have to get on that too.

also dracula ive been reading as well but more on that the next section.

current obsession: re:dracula is the first that comes to mind im so bloody invested in jonathan's wellbeing and his relationship wiht mina and the whole story its insane . i should read more older books its good . re;dracula DOES SUCH A GOOD JOB AT SUCKING YOU INTO THE STORY THE VOICE ACTORS REALLY MADE IT FOR ME i just cant with ti it makes me so bloody happy!! Renfield's voice actor is a standout for me everytime he's there i just have to pause and stare at a wall. also jonathan's actor as well hes SO GOOD i was geniunly worried about jonathan not sending me voicemails into my phone i was THAT endeared to him

besides that PLAY IT BY EAR the musical improv show by dropout is also a obsession of mine i cannot with their talent. the MUSIC so good i want to play it all the bloody time . i am in absolute awe in the performers ability to create a story and TIE IT ALL TOGHETER SO WELL like every piece of information is used whether you expect it or not . DN THE BAND OH GOD I DONT KNOW HOW THEY SO IT THE MUSIC IS SO FUN AND CREATIVE AND FITS THE MOOD AND MADE UP ON THE SPOT???!!! HOW I DONT KNOW (if u ask me who my favourite guest star is at the moment its ross byant hes an absolute delight whenever he is on a d20 show- the improvised shakespear episode blew my mind)

anway THIS SI LONGGGGGGGG soz

no pressure tags: @filmloser04 @mistichallow @charlies-a-thief

@literallymahir @quotidian-oblivion @monochrome-anomaly @suksiili @miseria-fortes-viros and anyone else that wants to join!!!! (you dont have to do a brain dump like me i always go overboard)

#long post #ahoys thoughts #tag game #THIS IS LONG IM SORRY

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daz4i · 3 months

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listen. sometimes idm ads. i do want sites i use or youtubers i watch frequently to earn money so i can keep using/watching them, and i won't spend money myself, so this is a good compromise.

the problem is!!!!! ads make these sites lag, sometimes cover pages and make them unusable, or they clog videos and pop up so often and are so long they're practically as long as the video itself, to the point i just stop watching youtubers who have too many ad breaks even if i do like their content

and i gotta say, i don't get it? like being annoyed with an ad won't make me want to get the product - and i know that's not the point, the point is to put it at the front of your mind for when you or someone you know need the product this company provides - and i do end up clicking ads for things i find interesting sometimes

and the thing is. with video ads especially. i think smaller is better for everyone. one 5 seconds ad is so much less annoying than a 20 seconds one or even just two 5 seconds ads, even if it appears multiple times per video, bc psychologically it feels more bearable, yknow? the product is still gonna be in my subconscious or w/e but now i won't associate it with being painfully annoyed, so this is better for the advertisers too. so why not go for that!

also, sometimes ads are taken straight from tv directly to youtube (probably why some are very long), and the problem with that is their volume. like. if i'm watching smth in the middle of the night and your car insurance ad is twice as loud as the video i'm watching, i'm gonna hate it even more (a friend who learned copywriting told me they make ads louder on tv bc if you lower your volume during an ad break and tune out or just change channels quickly, it's more likely to catch your attention this way. i get that but why not just do this very minor adjustment when you sell that ad to youtube. please)

as for websites, some of these ads are so fucking evil 😭 i ranted abt this before but oh my god weight loss and especially fasting apps ads should be illegal i am not even slightly exaggerating. ads literally being malware??? not even getting into how scary algorithms can get.

and as i mentioned about lags, so many ads running at the same time, or the same ad space changing rapidly make things so slow that i once again have to wonder who's benefitting from this. i can't even see what some of the ads are bro, and i don't want to, but like, you're just losing money here, and if i know a site doesn't work well with ads enabled i will either switch to a browser with adblock (tbc, talking abt mobile here. firefox's app is shitty but necessary) or, if i can't use adblock, won't use that site anymore. so again. who's benefitting from this.

idk what the point of this rant is. ads today literally exist for the sake of existing i swear. i don't think they help sell things more at this point, which is the whole point of ads in the first place. and for smaller or newer businesses, they sometimes have to raise prices to make up for paying for their advertising campaign (drew gooden's videos about buying random items he gets ads for showcase this phenomenon well i think) which makes people less likely to buy them, and i can't help but wonder if some products would be better if their companies spent less money on just advertising them and instead actually invest in quality (see also: any shady company that targets youtubers for sponsorships constantly while having an extremely bad product, or barely paying their employees a living wage, etc)

anyway yeah these are my probably not too uncommon thoughts on the matter. have a nice rest of the day

#this isn't coherent. i just got angry over a site i'm using lagging bc of annoying ads that get in the way of using it #and somehow it turned into a lengthy rant oops #knowing multiple people who work in advertising really puts shit in perspective i think #both the whole. knowing what the actual goal of advertising is. and how algorithms and targetting work and such #and it both makes me hate it more and respect companies that don't do shady shit more #מחסני חשמל you are the only bitch i can trust in this house!!!! still not gonna buy from you tho sorry

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wool-f · 1 year

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Wellness: Through & Through | Part Two: Pilates

If you subscribe to me, you’d know I posted a video on my channel not very long ago about my experience trying pilates for two months. It’s now been four months, and I can fully say that I am a member of the pilates cult that seems to be taking girl social media by storm.

I remember the first time I really began to see the rise in popularity of reformer, and it was just after an article where Lori Harvey said she loved pilates. After that, pilates was everywhere, and I really mean everywhere.

On TikTok, Instagram, Facebook even, my colleagues in the office were talking about how they were thinking of trying it, and my friends were signing up to expensive studios around Melbourne to get into the newest fad of fitness.

I say fad very loosely, because once I began classes at my local studio, I realised this trend was very quickly going to become a habit for me.

I’ll be honest, I was doubtful about whether pilates would do anything crazy to my body, and boy was I surprised! I had heard one of my friends talk about it previously but didn’t really think anything of it, until suddenly every second girl and their mother were achieving insane results from five 45 minute workouts a week.

I was flawed. I wish I’d listened to my friend sooner (take this as a lesson well learnt from me). So my friend and I decided to join a studio, and we got a pretty good starter deal. Pilates is quite expensive, it’s definitely not an affordable fitness method if you’re wanting to go to an actual studio, I will say that much.

Four months down the track, I can genuinely say I’ve never stuck to any fitness regime the way I have stuck to pilates, and I have never felt better. In the first two months of going to pilates consistently, I dropped FOUR KILOGRAMS without trying.

A disclaimer to this is that I never started this wellness adventure to lose weight - I don’t hate my body or myself, and I always wanted the focus to remain on how I feel about myself and my mental wellbeing, and what ways my physical health could assist with improving those aspects of my life. That being said, I can’t ignore the obvious difference in my body since beginning pilates.

Outside that, and now that I am well into my pilates obsession, I have a few notes on the difference it has made on my body.

I feel stronger in all ways, and I’m sleeping way better. I have gotten myself into the routine of getting up early to go to the studio and take a class before my work day begins and I notice that I have so much more mental clarity and motivation throughout my day. If I don’t get up and exercise before beginning my workday I often feel lethargic and foggy in my mind. I love the feeling of finishing a class and coming out of the heated room into the fresh air - my cheeks flushed and lungs breathing in the crisp smells of the early morning, and the satisfaction I feel when I finish a really tough class. I have increased my weight usage from 2kgs being my difficult weight to 4kg. I’m just happier as a person, obviously because any exercise creates endorphins.

If you’ve been looking for a sign to try out pilates, let it be this - it is honestly the best investment I’ve ever made in my health and fitness, and it’s an inclusive environment. It’s not necessarily price effective if you want to go to a studio, but there are so many free videos on YouTube you can use too - please try it if you’re even thinking about it.

If you are joining me on this group science experiment, investigating what wellness truly means and how I am achieving it, both physically and mentally, welcome! Comment below any suggestions or trends you are seeing to do with wellness that you’re too afraid to try yourself - I will try them. Also let me know if you tried pilates because of this post or my video! I’d love to hear your feedback :)

If you want to follow along with this experiment with me on a daily basis, please follow my Instagram and TikTok accounts, I am much more active on there and will have little updates throughout the weeks that I am posting the videos.

Leave any comments down below or in my questions box, and we can chat!

Until next week, all my love,

G xx

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manikax · 1 year

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stream starting soon

When: December 2, 2022 / 11:00 PM For @ilnerium

Maja live-streamed every Friday at 11 p.m. She'd concluded the latest God of War and was looking for the next long-form game she could turn into a series. Meanwhile, she had decided to play a game called -

"The Devil in Me," Maja revealed to her chat. "The Devil in This Pussy." Her Friday evening streams were rated R, as opposed to the ones she conducted on Mondays and Wednesdays, which she managed to keep PG-13 by the grace of God. "It's from the same studio that made Until Dawn and Little Hope, and... oh... what was that other one? The people on the boat... Man of Medan! Yeah, I didn't like that one as much as the others."

Her streaming setup was singularly curated and very pink: pink wireless cat ear headphones, pink mic with flexible boom, pink keyboard. She'd even set the neon lights in her room to a soft sunset glow, bathing her body in a wash of lavender-pink. Her small frame was swallowed up by an oversized heart-print jacket.

[normalsquid:] i am the homo of the sexual

"I am so proud of you," Maja said, putting on an air of seriousness that the situation did not warrant. It didn't last very long. She burst out laughing.

[knownbagginses:] THERE ARE CONFIRMED LESBIANS IN THIS DON’T KILL THEM DON’T KILL UR PPL

She gave a peace sign. "I will do everything in my power not to commit a hate crime against my people."

Maja was pleased by these comments. For the previous two weeks, the majority of her chat had been jammed with irritated incels and entitled men, but tonight's stream was decidedly less... toxically masculine. People had finally stopped bothering her with trivial questions about Taewon, realizing she was only going to troll and lead them astray.

The positive vibes persisted as she played through the prologue. The energy was high, and her stream chat was especially amusing - amusing in a way she hadn't remembered her audience being in a long time. It was in these moments that she recalled how much she enjoyed streaming and shooting the shit with her fans. But it didn’t last. She'd only been playing for an hour when her stream chat was deluged with anonymous dissenters. It didn't take long to figure out what was bothering them and that this raid had been planned on some third-party forum. They were calling her various names that all amounted to her being a slut. Many people were angry because she had 'lied' to them and 'cheated' on them with Taewon. Some wanted refunds.

Maja had excellent moderators who immediately went to work blocking the dissenters, but there were a lot of them. Maja paused the game. She was both smiling and baring her teeth like an angered animal. “I’m only gonna say this once,” she said, “So listen up, bozos. You are not entitled to my - or any other woman’s - undivided and immediate attention. I don’t care what I am: a whore, a virgin, the fucking queen of England streaming live from hell.”

She noticed that the tone of the comments was shifting from slut-shaming to accusing her of using her feminine wiles to dupe men into donating money, all because she’d concealed her alleged relationship status.

[driedfishcel:] if i had known you weren’t single i wouldnt have wasted my tiem getting invested in you [khanivore:] FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!fucking subhuman whore you led me on. i should kill you (in a video game) [Nightwalker_99:] proudly displaying your degeneracy for all to see. dirty stupid foid

#i: soa #t: stream starting soon

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coralcrow-and-co · 1 year

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Upsetting my whole family and putting everyone I know against me (a meandering piece by cro)

Much to the disapproval of my family and everyone I know, I think avant-garde jazz is brilliant. Granted, I've only started getting into Sun Ra recently (and jazz in generally a few months ago) but I think it's incredible.

It started late 2021 when I was discovering the harsh noise scene. I loved the strangeness of it all and the fact that there was a whole community on the internet surrounding it. It was enlightening to know that the internet was big enough to cater to this specific niche, and even if you hate the concept of harsh noise - you can't deny that it's fascinating that whole communities would gather around to celebrate such a thing. But I found that people liked it for many reasons. Some found it catered to something that helped them relax, and for others it was to fill up empty space. Some thought it was fascinating to break all musical convention. I thought it was brilliant to see so many subgenres spawn from something I had originally believed to be static. Harsh noise, drone, tape noise, cut up, melodic, rhythmic. It was cool. Then I discovered the other side of noise music, a kind of 'noise inspired' corner of the genre. Here I found noise rock, pop and hop - all genres I have grown to love. In particular I took interest in the music of the noise rock duo "Lightning Bolt" with their strange tones and aggressive drums, the noise hop artists "Clipping" and "VoidDweller" and (though briefly) the music of noise pop duo "Black Dresses. Anyway, I'm getting side tracked.

On one of these noise music subreddits I found a video that was of a little something called noise jazz - made by sun ra. This video left little impact on me as I was left temporarily intrigued, but to no avail. I would go on to abandon noise music in the next months and focus on rock and hip hop. Then, I would discover the weird world of internet subcultures and that's a whole different tangent that I won't go on to save time (if you've read this far, I've wasted yours enough). This would pique my interest in surrealism which would culminate in me going to an exhibition which revealed me once again to noise jazz. Or surrealist jazz. Doesn't matter. This didn't effect me either. A while later I decide to get mildly invested in jazz and succeed in getting a couple of John Coltrane CDs (awesome guy if you didn't know). Then I buy a book a few months later, on krautrock. This book would compare Sun Ra to Stockhausen (who I think sounds like a dick, but who am I to say?) and then I started listening to Sun Ra.

Oh my god. That was a whole of lot of nothing and recommending a bunch of artists. Now let's take a break to look at who I'd recommend:

Earth (their album Earth 2): it's not exactly noise but it's a wonderful doom drone album and I like that genre name.

Merzbow (Venereology NOT PULSE DEMON): Good album. DON'T LISTEN TO PULSE DEMON FIRST.

Clipping (every single clipping album): I love clipping so much.

Lightning Bolt (Hypermagic Mountain): You're just going to have to listen to me and stick with it, this album truly lives up to its name. A magical experience.

Black Dresses: I haven't listened to that much but Forever in your heart is a cool album.

John Coltrane (Giant Steps): It's a basic pick but it's a classic for a reason.

Sun Ra - Lanquidity: OH MY GOD IT'S SO GOOD AAAA

The reason I think a lot of people really hate avant-garde jazz is because we hold music theory so close to our hearts that anything different seems like shit. But if you can (and I know this sounds annoying) open your mind and just listen to the textures and composition of Sun Ra, you might just find something cool. If you need any consolidation - death grips sampled him on exmilitary so you know they're good.

#music recommendations #meandering #music #art about music #music about art #ranting-ish to get this out of my system

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sadiewayne · 17 days

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15 questions

the amazing and incredible @bisexualseraphim tagged me and now i have my laptop i can comply

Were you named after anyone?

not my first name but my middle name was from a character from buffy the vampire slayer and i have grown to love it because of that fact given which character it is

Do you have kids?

nope, no plans to either. maybe if the world gets better but i do not want to raise kids in this world

When was the last time you cried?

last night watching grey's anatomy. in my defence im very invested and it's my mums fault

What sports have you played/do you play?

growing up i played rugby and hockey for the school teams, i also casually played netball and football. at my high school we had to pick sports in year 10 and i chose the most active ones bc i was sick and tired of being thrown into the less active sports bc i wasn't as fast or as coordinated and it was awesome

currently, i've always been big into cycling which is hilarious for someone with dyspraxia

Do you use sarcasm?

i'm british, what do you think? (that's a big yes)

First thing you notice about people?

hair. idk why but i just do. i think it's because i can't do faces so i stick to hair, i like seeing the styles and colours. it tells me nothing about them but i'm always interested

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way. i'm a sucker for soppy stories that let me cry bc they give me a reason to get my emotions out y'know. and i'm an even bigger fan if it's in my fandoms (which they never are unless it's fanfics)

What are your hobbies?

writing, reading (mostly fanfics), playing a small selection of video games (minecraft, sims 4, assassins creed odyssey), comics, listening to music which is totally a hobby, i'm learning the ukulele again maybe...

What is your eye colour?

bc of how my eyelashes cast shadows, my eyes look like chocolate curls, y'know these things

my eyes are the like one thing i like about myself, i have good eyes

Any talents?

nope. i can't draw, can't sing or play any instrument, i can barely speak my first language, i'm not sporty, i'm good but not exceptional at school, i don't even have good general knowledge, genuinely i have no talents.

which is sad given i used to have most of them. growing up i did everything and was decent. i got school solos, played the guitar and piano, acted in school plays, was on sports teams, top of my class, literally learning multiple languages at once, guess the former gifted kid that turned out to be disabled burnout hit me hard lmao

but fine, i write but i'm mid tier at it AT MOST

Where were you born?

england *rolls eyes*

Do you have any pets?

i grew up with 4 cats, 3 died, got 2 more, the last of the 4 died, now have those 2 cats and a dog

How tall are you?

somewhere between 5'7" and 6 foot. wish i knew where in that (i think i'm like 5'8"-5'9" but people disagree) but it's safe to say i am taller than average

Favourite subject in school?

maths and science. all science. love it all. i did love english too until i had a bad teacher. oh and art was always fun, especially the construction module where we made physical things (it wasn't a sculpture). and geography. actually i loved most subjects in school

Dream job?

it's so stupid but i'd love to write AND do science research. acting would also be cool but that's so much commitment with little return and i'm not conventionally attractive so there's literally no point and i'd rather have a stable career

anyway, i have to tag people but i'll only tag my moots and the ones i've spoken to outside of tumblr bc i hate tagging people lmao... @somniphobicfox @avogadrostoast6022 @she-posts-nerdy-stuff and literally anyone else that wants to do this :p

#idek how to tag this #shit about me you didn't care about knowing lmao

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fasterthanmydemons · 3 months

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[ Speedster of the Galaxy ]

Pietro’s sudden shyness was a surprise to Rocket. This was why he didn’t compliment people. Immediately they started thinking Rocket was soft or whatever bullshit they wanted to believe about him. But if he thought Pietro had done a good job, he didn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t tell him. Eh, whatever. Rocket did his best to shrug it off and patted Groot’s back.

“Groot – what do I always tell ya? Breakfast first, video games later. Come on.”

“Fine,” Groot grumbled as Rocket guided him into the kitchen, but he turned and waved at Pietro, smiling. “Good morning, running old guy!”

As Rocket started explaining that not everyone with white hair was old and Groot pointed out how that didn’t make any sense, Mantis giggled, amused by their gentle bantering. If she was being honest, Pietro’s reaction surprised her a little, too. The way he blushed was endearing, though unexpected. But she understood him. Mantis wasn’t used to receiving compliments, and her awkward reaction to them discouraged people from complimenting her more often. It went against everything she had been told about herself for most of her life. Mantis pushed those thoughts aside, wanting to focus on reassuring Pietro.

“I mean it. You did a good job! Your help is appreciated.” As Pietro wondered if she had ever impressed Rocket, Mantis just shrugged. “I suppose. When I first joined the Guardians, I was invested in proving myself to them. I would overexert myself even when the Guardians told me not to do so. It took me a while to realize that they cared about me… regardless of how useful I was,” she said with a fond smile. When Pietro said his stomach was eating itself and explained what that meant, it actually made her laugh. “Oh, that is such a humorous expression! You should eat something, then. By the way, did you sleep well? Did my powers help you get rid of the nightmares? Oh, and how is Mr. Dibbles?” Mantis smiled at the thought of the tiny, sweet creature. She was glad Pietro had found a cute friend.

(Aww Pietro just wants to belong T^T Since you said I can weigh in, yeah, regardless of which ship it is, I write Mantis as very emotionally independent, inevitably it’s a result of her upbringing. At times I’ve wondered if this was OOC, but her choices in Vol. 3 actually proved me right. Pietro himself doesn’t make her self-conscious, her logic is: “if being a good sibling is the most important thing to him and I couldn’t save my siblings from our father, then I am a terrible sister, so if Pietro learns this, he’ll hate me”. Because she doesn’t see herself as a victim of Ego. She was forced to normalize very fucked up things, so it’s easier for her to accept loneliness than love. The idea of romance frightens her because she’s scared of losing that independence. And yesss hurt/comfort is excellent, also found family. That’s why I like the GotG. Shipping is not required to make me sob over how much characters love each other. And omg yes! Mantis could reassure Pietro that Wanda is okay via their bond and Wanda herself can also feel that as we saw in AoU, I love that.)

___________

{ He doessss... Listen, Pietro is a pretty confident guy, but he does have some self-esteem and “I’m not enough” issues that stem from his childhood as well as his undiagnosed ADHD. Which... actually might have been diagnosed by now because he was evaluated for the Avengers, but I digress. So when he gets genuine approval from people he really wants that approval from, it kindof strips away all the bravado and silliness and he has a genuine moment, heh. It’s sweet but also a little sad that he has to look for validation in others.

It’s interesting that Mantis comes away from Pietro thinking that being a good sibling is the most important thing to him because... it’s one of the most important things, certainly... to him. That’s just it. He doesn’t hold other people to the standards that he holds himself. If he wrongs his sister even slightly, even just a perceived wrong, or even just not doing enough for her... then in his mind he’s done something really horrible and should be ashamed of himself. But if someone else did the exact same thing? He’d tell them oh it’s okay, you tried your best, or you didn’t meant it, don’t beat yourself up over it. So in no way was he implying that he’d hate anyone who wasn’t a perfect sibling, it’s just that that’s his own personal standard for himself. But it’s so interesting how they miss each other by a mile with that. I love when psychology and misunderstandings complicate character relationships, it’s fascinating.

Yessss found family is a good one too. That’s huge with a lot of my muses. SO many, heh. People who had terrible parents who never validated them being adopted/accepted by others, bands of misfits coming together and bonding themselves into a family through their experiences... great stuff. *chef’s kiss* And yes, exactly, there are so many things that make me scream about characters other than romantic shipping!

I just had a thought... Wanda probably felt Pietro feeling really good about himself just now when Rocket and Mantis praised him. She’s probably smiling to herself, even though she misses him, because she hasn’t felt that sort of feeling from him in a long time and she’s genuinely glad. }

Pietro grinned as Groot got yelled at by Rocket - kindof, anyway - for diving right into video games before he’d had any breakfast. His own stomach was growling, so he envied those who didn’t have to think about food all the time. When Groot greeted him, he waved back. “Good morning, adorable tree person,” he returned. He really didn’t mind that Groot called him old. Rather than take it as an insult or some indication that Pietro was somehow feeble, he instead just assumed that Groot was the kind to either be very visual with his associations, or to just stick with the first thing that struck him about a person. He wondered what Groot called some of the Guardians when he first met them.

He was still grinning, half-listening to Rocket and Groot’s continuing banter regarding his “old” status with the tiny tree creature, when Mantis repeated her praised. Pietro nodded humbly, his grin returning back to his shy soft smile from earlier. Hopefully it wouldn’t be the last time he did something right and proved to them that he wasn’t just a fast-moving pretty face. There was a brain in there too. “Yeah...” he said then, immediately identifying with how Mantis felt when she first joined the Guardians. He wasn’t so sure he’d be accepted the way she was, however. “I guess I am kindof doing the same thing,” he admitted. “But... I do need to show how useful I am. Otherwise why let me on the team, right?” At least, in his mind, that’s how things worked around here. There was limited space on the ship, and there was no point in growing the team to huge numbers full of people who didn’t bring anything to the table... right?

His grin returned as Mantis laughed. Something about it really made him happy. Maybe it was because she’d been so nice to him, so considerate and understanding, and so he was glad to give her any small happiness in return. Even if it was with a phrase about his stomach eating itself. Hey, whatever works. He was about to head off to breakfast when she asked about how he’d slept the night before. “Yes! Yes, I did! If I had any dreams, I don’t remember what they were. I definitely didn’t have any bad ones. And I feel pretty well rested today, so you very much helped me. Thank you, really. “ It truly was an amazing ability she had.

“Mr. Dibbles is doing well so far. I should try to make him a home in my room soon, though. A place to sit to dry off, a place to get wet... and I have to get food for him. Is a lot of responsibility, but hey, he deserves it for being so cute, yeah?” Pietro said, smirking at the thought of the adorable and animated little turtle. “He is very smart too. Sometimes I swear he is paying attention when I speak. He turns his little head like he is listening,” he said with a chuckle. It seemed like Mantis really enjoyed small creatures, especially if they were cute. “Hey, um... if you ever want to see him, feel free to drop by my room, even if I am not there. I really don’t mind. You can take him out and play with him anytime. I trust you with him.” Better that the turtle have more friends and wasn’t lonely, rather than being shut away in his room all day long. That was important to Pietro.

#pietro rp #{ speedster of the galaxy }

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infiniteelsinore · 9 months

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> Elsewhere, much more platonically.

"-And he won't stop playing shit off his stupid break-up playlist, either. Which would be entirely beneath me, because I am not that goddamn petty, except for the fact that his sound system is still wired through my fucking brain, and he knows that. If I have to be made aware that he's listening to Pale Machine for another billionth time, I am going to build and launch my own personal satellite just to nuke him from orbit."

"Wooooooow, 8ro," Vriska drawls, the Striderly term of affection being spit out of his mouth with several pairs of audible air-quotes. "I am soooooooo invested in your pro8lems right now. Please keep going on a8out this for so long that I kicked from the lo88y for 8eing AFK."

Despite the dripping sarcasm, Hal knows that Vriska does actually care, in his own hidden-behind-eight-proxies way. If he didn't, there was no way he'd be letting Hal into the private sanctuary of his respite block, even with his presence withheld to a gifted pair of pointy anime shades resting on the desk.

"Dirk's over there doing something nasty that I don't want to hear a8out, and now you're here whinging at me 8ecause you're a jealous little piss8a8y who's tired of dealing with his man-angst shit. Again. Are we playing some fucking Mortal Kom8at or not?"

Hal huffs. This is what he had wanted, for the president of the Jake English Hate Club to tell him that his problems were stupid, that Jake was stupid, and then proceed to distract him away from both until he felt it was all stupid too. But that didn't mean he couldn't play at indignity.

"You're gonna lose," he quips.

"Of course I'm going to lose, dum8ass. If I wanted to 8eat you, we'd 8e playing at your place, where your 8rain signals have to actually go to your goddamn hands every time you press the fucking 8uttons. We're doing this here because if I don't get good enough to knock Captor's multiplayer rank off the fucking map, I'm going to start losing my mind."

And, y'know, definitely not because Dirk was in the apartment next to Hal's getting railed. They'd built the whole place to be very soundproof, but Vriska was far too icked out by sex to be comfortable with that. The mere aura of horniness made him make faces like a bathed cat. Which would be funny, if it weren't also very sad. Hal focuses on the Sollux half of the equation instead.

"Doesn't he have you blocked on everything?" he says, and Vriska gives a side-eye glare.

"May8e."

"Including every video game with online multiplayer capabilties, so he doesn't have to suffer the mortifying ordeal of ever queuing into a lobby with you."

The glare intensifies. "May8e."

Hal would be narrowing his eyes back if Vriska could see it.

"Dude. You really need to get over him."

Vriska tosses his hands up, spinning in his chair from the momentum while still keeping eye contact with the shades, the way a dancer would.

"Pots and kettles, Strider!" he gives, and a beat of silence follows.

"That comparison is offensive to the both of us, and you know it."

Vriska doesn't reply. Instead, he waffles between D'vorah and Scorpion as the tool to batter against Hal's impenetrable Noob Saibot, eventually landing on the latter and bracing to get his ass kicked by Earth C's finest CPU opponent.

Sick.

#🔴[h].#its MY timeline and you WILL get transmasc sex repulsed vriska #EXPECT NOTHING LESS

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fishchomp · 11 months

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thoughts about life + love + growing up + finding contentment

In the wake of my personal renaissance, the likes of which have not been seen since I graduated high school, or after covid, or after deciding to grow my hair back out, I have struggled to find activities that really bring me joy.

I used to spend a lot of time just consuming media, which I was always fine with. I never really had a problem with it at all - in fact, it felt like that was where I could find the most comfort, because it was always guaranteed to bring me contentment in some way. Endlessly scrolling and posting on social media, or getting high and watching super long YouTube videos, or watching shows that I would be too embarrassed to share with others but completely happy to enjoy on my own.

I don’t feel this same joy anymore. Now all I can think when I open any social media app is how much I hate it, and how I know I’m only going on it to waste time. I actually actively feel more negatively after using it. (It’s not posting that I dislike by the way - I still enjoy creating small diaries and snapshots of my life for myself, it’s usually the endless barrage of other’s content that makes me feel like my head is filled with lead. “I hate you I hate you I hate you - I hate you because you do not see me and I can see you, I am seeing you, I cannot stop seeing you, all the time, you are trapped in here”.

I haven’t actually really watched any media of any kind in months. I just can’t bring myself to. I’ve watched some random videos on YouTube or movies here and there, but I almost feel silly attempting to completely invest myself in a fictional world. It’s like an illusion has been shattered and I can’t bring myself to care in quite the same way. Or maybe I just don’t want to. I’m not willing to enjoy it. This is a problem - because I do believe that (for better or for worse) the consumption of media is actually one of the few guaranteed joys in life. It seems like it’s kind of all that people do, really.

My attention has shifted, perhaps positively, towards the act of creation over consumption. Active versus passive. This (obviously) requires an immense amount of energy and passion over the spectator sport, which is inherently a good and healthy thing. However, this almost feels more like work than a pastime. I have no passion for my job - so in a way this is where I flow all of that energy and desire to work. This brings me joy, I presume, but come on. Nothing that you have to work for to bring you happiness counts, right??? Kidding.

I just wish I liked watching tv again, ha.

Of course, im also in the eternal struggle of love. Wanting it, yearning for it, in such a way that it’s almost painful. I see it everywhere, and I ache. I have found myself at a crossroads - the acceptance of peace in finding love for oneself and the indelible desire for someone to see me with the same amount of care that I have learned for myself. Yes, life is ultimately lived alone, and it is loved alone, but it is also meant to be shared alongside others. Companionship is not necessary for survival, but god, is it such a nice perk.

Love is guaranteed to no one, but when everyone else grows up and moves on and create their own love with someone else, where will I be? I don’t want to wish the worst on myself - I know that one day it will happen if it is meant to happen (fate, a silly thing. A stupid thing. So stupid that I cannot let go of it), and regardless of the outcome one day this ache will be dull and far away. I hope, I hope. (I hope.)

I’m finding that maybe life really is a cheap thing, though. We aren’t all meant for greatness - fine. In fact, I’ve grown comforted by the fact. Truly, truly, truly, it is the little things. Life is not the large moments but rather is the quiet walk as the sun goes down and the breeze is just right and the album you’ve listened to dozens of times and the eggs being cooked just to your liking and counting each step as you go down the staircase and playing trivia for the fun of it even if you never get the answers right. There is no shame in this - only immense joy and comfort. There is no shame in the mundane. There is no such thing as the mundane.

But the sadness - the ache - comes back when I realize that maybe all that I hope for isn’t what it seems, and it may never be. I don’t know if my mother is happy. By all accounts, she should be, but it pains me to believe that she likely is not. I mean, maybe she is. Maybe she has found contentment, and loves the little things. She has what I yearn for - people who love her and people who she loves and life’s little pleasures.

But even people in relationships fight and even people in relationships must fight to find joy in the mundane and even people who have been married for decades seem to walk on eggshells more often than not. My mother seems to live in a glass castle. Stones are being thrown at her. I think she may be too far in to outrun it. She is too tired to try. She may not even want to.

I don’t know. I don’t know, maybe happy marriages do exist. Maybe people can be together for many years and they do not grow resentful of one another. Maybe I haven’t seen it, or I haven’t been looking for it. Maybe love can persist, and maybe I can have this kind of love.

What I’m saying here is that I don’t know what dreams to rely on anymore. It all feels so uncertain, like no matter what I do there is no longer a sense of assuredness that this will definitely work out. “If nothing else happens, I know I have this” - this does not exist anymore. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just something I need to accept and am learning to accept. (I’m sorry, I’m scared to appear too far gone. I’m not, I promise. Please believe me. I once sat on my knees and cried for you to believe me. I don’t think you did, or we would not be here. I digress.)

One day I hope to wake up and feel excited for whatever the days brings, no matter what it is. I had this, I think, and then I lost it, but then I found it again, and then I lost it in the renaissance. Funny how change will do that to you. Funny how I will never be the same again. It’s funny how guilty I feel for feeling like this. It’s funny how much I still love myself in spite of it all. In fact, I have nothing to do with this.

I read back on my journal entries from months in the past and I feel nothing but gratitude (or sometimes embarrassment, but in a good way) for how much better I feel. I pray every day for the time when I will do the same for these recent ones. Not to God, of course. But maybe.

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