#like this show generally played that aspect of him as a joke. but the potential of that being used in a different story...

[yardsards]

the carmilla webseries (particularly s3) makes some really interesting points about amatonormativity that i think are probably accidental but still fascinate me.

like there's this intended theme of like, being so devoted to one person that you put them above everyone else, and the harms that can cause. and that theme is primarily explored through laura and carmilla's relationship, especially as a foil to the dean and her beloved. but also with lafontaine and how they kinda subvert that.

(i could write essays analyzing this, tbh)

anyway. the show primarily explores the themes of putting one person above everyone else through the lens of romantic relationships, because that's just kind of the genre they're operating under. but that (again, probably unintentionally) brings up a theme of amatonormativity. because amatonormativity expects you to have one romantic partner and to put them above everyone else, to unquestionably value them more than any of your friends.

anyway, with that background out of the way, what i'm really thinking about currently is danny in s3

there's that scene early on in the season, when danny's all evil vampire mode. and laura says that her and carmilla are "just friends". and danny threatens laura in front of carmilla and is like "surely you wouldn't mind me hurting her/would be willing to let her die to keep the talisman, if you two really are just friends"

and like, while danny is correct in her observation that laura and carmilla's feelings about each kther are clearly not platonic, her logic is absolute garbage. me and the friend i was rewatching it with were both like "??? no i absolutely WOULD still mind if someone threatened my purely platonic friend like that, you'd be a pretty garbage friend to not care". like, danny's logic in that scene is peak amatonormative nonsense.

but then. at the end of the season. it's danny's *platonic* love for kirsch that ends up connecting her back to her humanity. it's kirsch that she finally breaks free of the dean's influence to protect. kirsch that she's willing to risk it all for.

it wasn't laura, the girl she had a crush on. it was kirsch, who she had a whole thing about in the previous season about how she explicitly did NOT have any romantic towards him and 100% solely saw him as a platonic friend. it was her "just a friend" who ultimately ended up meaning everything for her.

#eliot posts #amatonormativity #carmilla #carmilla webseries #danny lawrence #wilson kirsch #i love this sapphic and her pet himbo #that 'yes!!! i am in the friend zone! we're friends!!!' scene in s2 is eternally Delightful to me #also there's so much potential in like #taking the ''golden retriever'' character archetype (as in someone exciteable and friendly) #and making them be loyal and obedient to one person possibly even to the point of self destruction. just like a dog #like this show generally played that aspect of him as a joke. but the potential of that being used in a different story... #this fandom is dead as hell in the year 2024 and yet. my brain has decided to fixate on this silly webseries from when i was 15 #also i feel like this is generally not a piece of media that ppl would write meta about. but that does not stop me.

[blehblarghblah]

wait wait wait, what about "Like Father, Like Libby"?? What are your thoughts on THAT dad episode? Especially bc what you said about alador. I cried 😭

^ me at that sleazy Matias

This is one of those moments where I meant in my other post TGaMM does a good job of balancing humour with serious tones, but evidently not making it a cheapened moment. Libby is a great character who has visibly grown out of her shell thanks to Molly's influence, and when we see her be passionate we can see/relate to a lot of aspects of her child-like glee. Granted, she is still a kid, but the way her excitement of lost time/potential takes hold of her here in this episode is even something Leah was surprised by. Which makes it very real and relatable!

To briefly pull away from the focus of the episode, I loved the B plot with Molly and Scratch because of the gags and one-liners. One of my favourite tropes in fiction, especially in sitcom series, is a character who is suddenly doing crosswords for the entirety of the episode which basically tees up punchlines and gags. I don't care if it's cheesy, I always find it hilarious. It's a simple way to set up jokes, but TGaMM did great with their deliveries and had me and my sister cackling.

Which is good! As undercutting serious tension can be needed to add levity. I feel as though if I had watched this episode as a kid, a lot of Leah's behaviours would've gone over my head then. But as I am now, seeing how she is, having moments of laughter adds great balance to the main story. And additionally, more moments of Libby and Molly's BFF nature is great: the fact that she knew Molly already messed up but was just playing it off just goes to show how well she knows her friend (I headcanon she asked Molly to put Simon on the phone just to troll her).

Now, the dad.

I love that Leah wasn't disheartened or jealous with Libby's sudden affection for her father. She had discomfort, but mainly because she knows what kind of man Matias really is. Seeing how she subtly places herself in support of her daughter throughout the entire is a great detail in how she is the parent that stayed and truly loved Libby, but also that Libby is aware of her mom's presence. As when the moment happens, she immediately knows she can rely on her mom again.

She just misses her dad.

And that, is wonderful storytelling in the way that not even Libby was aware how much she wanted her father in her life until the opportunity presented itself. I don't think she wanted to become a writer because of him, but I bet that had a small influence in her outlet with her poetry and such. Much of his lack of presence takes a toll and is finally let loose here, which enhances Libby's expectations. She asks her mother if his personality is basically anything like the stereotypical dads she's no doubt read/heard about.

Though I believe even Libby started to suspect something at the moment she met him too, as when her dad gave her a signed copy it felt like she recognized his signature was more general than personalized for her. Seeing that after all the expectations and build up, he turns out to be exactly as Leah suspected, was a gut punch but also very raw. Letting Libby soak in her moment for a bit was nice, but having her come out of it and recognize her mother's value in her life made it all the better.

All in all, a great episode and definitely up there in my top five faves so far.

(P.S.: Matias book series is gonna flop, what kind of publisher decides to make a book into a trilogy after a book is released?)

Until next ask,

- Bleh

#the ghost and molly mcgee #tgamm #molly mcgee #scratch mcgee #libby stein torres #leah stein torres #matias torres #tgamm memes #review #i guess #like father like libby #tgamm season 2 #tgamm spoilers #the ghost and molly mcgee spoilers #pete is the only father figure libby will need #love pete mcgee

[bucketinyourwalls]

2!Postal Dude Headcanons <3

Summary:

With this version of 2!Postal Dude consists of a mix of my own projections, random stuff I thought of whenever bored, and just how I generally see him. Based on my first run with him, and a mix of the wiki. Anyone that wants to add these to their own lists feel free! :D

General:

Goofy as hell. Still just as insane as the others, but takes it all less seriously.

Either has a list or small journal he carries on him all the time just filled with one-liners, also carries a pen so he can write down any new ones he thinks of.

Fucking dumbass.

Not the smartest guy around, but also not the dumbest. Decent knowledge with some things.

Sometimes pretends to be a full on moron just to annoy the person, or piss them off depending on if it's someone he likes or hates.

Knowledgeable in some subjects, but only if it’s something he has a genuine interest in.

Random hyperfixation on things. Tries to keep himself focused on one or two things at a time and tries to balance everything out, but always fails.

Favorite aesthetics consist of cyberpunk, post-apocalyptic, feralcore, bastardcore, and post-punk.

Feral bastard.

Bites people. Started out as a joke but was slowly integrated into his life.

Humor’s all over the damn place. Mix of whatever he can find on Tumblr and shows like South Park and Beavis and Butthead.

Has a Tumblr and Twitter account. Both just so he can watch everything unfold and doesn’t bother to post anything.

Following list for Twitter mostly consists of gimmick accounts, some of it wholesome, and others being shit he just decided was funny.

Personality built around others' perception of him, whether people he actually knows or just those on the internet. 

Personality changes often, but keeps certain aspects for each one.

Bit of a people pleaser.

Mood is always randomized for each day. One day he could be the most calm and patient man in Paradise, and the next he could go on a massacre.

Mood really depends on his morning. Slight inconveniences do have the potential to fuck it all up if there was a major one before, but not on their own.

Very patient with people when younger, but that patience has slowly degraded over the years.

Would never snap at anyone when younger, maybe a few passive aggressive comments.

But now with the degraded patience, much more prone to snapping at people.

Animal lover. Always making sure Champ gets pets and food before he goes off to do his errands and will do his best to take care of strays.

After the beginning cutscene near the start of the game with him kicking Champ for pissing in front of him felt a fuck ton of guilt for the rest of the day. After he got home made sure to do his best to make it up to Champ through whatever means necessary.

Type of video games that he plays is a healthy mix of horror such as Silent Hill and Resident Evil, indie games like Cult of the Lamb and Hollow Knight, and of course shooter games like DOOM and the Call of Duty series.

For Cult of the Lamb he definitely named the cult after himself. Once tried to mod the game himself to add in or replace the decorations to better fit himself but that never ended up happening.

Just about grew up with horror. During highschool he had a fake ID so he could see the Rated R movies without having to bring an adult with him, or would just sneak in (and get caught).

Holds the DOOM series close to his crack-filled heart, with his favorite being the 1993 DOOM as a mix of nostalgia and everything that could be done. Always discovering new secrets on every playthrough.

Probably plays Call of Duty a bit less than the others, and mostly consists of him playing online and just insulting everyone since it’s fun to see their reactions. Barely pays attention to any of the campaigns.

Bisexual and Pangender <3

Age being 27 during the events of Postal 2 (no clue if he has a canon age so for the time being I’m sticking to that).

Music:

Mostly metal and rock.

Korn, Avenged Sevenfold, Rob Zombie, Dope, Limp Bizkit, Skillet, Seether, Slayer, etc.

Favorite songs with them consisting of: “Y’all Want a Single?” by Korn, “Rollin (Air Raid Vehicle” by Limp Bizkit, and “6 Gun Quota” by Seether.

Also has a few other songs in there that seem much out of place, either because he thought it’d be funny or just from him genuinely enjoying them.

Few examples being the “Bisexual Anthem” by Domo Wilson, “Material Girl” by Saucy Santana, “Masquerade” by siouxxie sixxta, ect.

Sings in the shower, most of the time keeps it quiet but will sing loudly as hell just to drive people crazy.

Cannot be trusted with the aux cord.

God help you if you’re on a road trip and he gets a hold of the cord.

Credits:

Credit for both dividers go to @kawaii-lau, after a bit of scrolling finding some dividers saw that they had some cool stuff, so check them out! <3

#postal #postal 2 #postal dude #running with scissors #rws #postal 2 dude #headcanon #just random shit I thought of instead of thinking of headcanons for Phillip Graves #I know he does say that he doesn't like video games but I'm willing to ignore that <3 #and sorry for this writing being incoherent as hell

[seakrisp]

Wednesday spoilers: even though what ill say has been said already but I need to finally let it out.

again these are just some of my personal thoughts and what I think!

I'm so happy alot of ppl agrees the the "two main possible male lOvE IntERest" had little to no chemistry with her.

but first,

I'll start with everything I like:

I love everything in the show except the "love triangel romance/ romance in general" that they pushed unto Wednesday. it doesn't rlly add anything. Tyler would have had more impact if he had been a platonic trustworthy friend.

i love the Christina ricci's character was the real villain. that's a really nice bow on everything.

I love we actually saw alot of The Addams Family Dynamic in the show! like in this rendition and universe ykyk. Also always great to have more Gomez and Tish and they're relations with the town and Nevermore.

ofc how could I forget, Jenna Ortega's performance was phenomenal. I really did like the casting.

ofc wendays and enid's dynamic was everything I expected and more. everything about them I loved.

I hope we get to see more bianca bcs I'm curious to her and wendays more chilled rivalry/frenemies dynamic will be like. now that bianca don't really give a shit about xiaver. (hopefully. yall are too good for that boy. that boy needs therapy.)

Enid is literally a Walking Queer Allegory. I said what I said.

wenday and Thing are everything to me. we day's friendship with Eugene to me as well.

oke. now my complainly part/things j wished that happened instead and parts that made me say "that could've been written, chosen better.."

I've TRIED to be unbiased while watching, mostly in the "romance aspect". and I think they should've really just focused on its being about Platonic relationships yk.. they like, they didn't even have a ball to drop Yk. Like you expect Me to believe these wet limp dick white boys are gonna be.. WEDNESDAY ADDAMS 'S.. Potential.. love interest..?? youre joking.

the most annoying part about this was both Xiaver and Tyler were so... fucking entitled. like, WOW. a Girl wasn't mean to you and spoke to you with very basic surface level human decency!

Xiaver, just has a Resting Bitch Face. He didn't do anything wrong but like he's still shithead. And was annoying. (to me)

Tyler, I really wanted him to be the MLM Best Friend :(

but nay, I was wronged ofc. Tyler at first didn't really bother me as much. first few episodes, HE'S JUST SOME WHITE GUY. then it progresses He Annoys Me With a Burning Passion.

especially, That's ONE SCENE. THE "YOU'RE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS WEDNESDAY WHERE DO I STAND@!?#?#!@????" OH PIPE DOWN YOU ONLY GOT UR DATE IDEA BCS ENID DID THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY.

my thoughts were like: there's no way. Wednesday liked this boy. she's be manipulated and gaslit.

And yeah Last few Episodes I was correct. it gave me more reason to hate Tyler's ass and I think he should've been brutally murder yk.

I love hunter doohan's performance though, thanks for taking one for the team King <3 He played the bland straight white boy monstour murder.

Now, Enid and Ajax. they were fine.. Ajax is the basic textbook goofy, nice guy who does weed, that just has madusa snake hair—

and omg I laughed so hard when he stoned himselfed like that, it's so perfect and stupid that a teenager with that ability would have the happen to them. it was so fucking funny to me.—

they're relationship is so shallow and mid to me idk. I mean, they do act like a typical teenage het couple.

it's just that, Enid liking a boy who she barely talks obsessesing over him but then also when she got stood up by him. Enid started liking another boy that she just talked to sharing same interests but mostly again just very bare minimum.

I'm not saying she's a shallow person, more say.. yk just a subconsciously finding and filling that, " you have to have a nice boyfriend bcs that's how the world is supposed to be " box...

in short yk, compulsory hetero normativity.

like cmon.. WHAT DO YOU MEAN UR MOM WANTS YOU TO GO TO "CONVERSION CAMP" ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU WANTED HER TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOLFED OUT JUST IN TIME YOU WANTED TO SAVE WEDNESDAY? what do you mean you didn't run into ur bf's after something traumatic but instead run into ur roommates to give her a hug like she'll never let go?

yeah. basically most of my complaints are in the romance. it's Criminally hetero. and I've dealt with alot of hetero relationships endgame media that would have made more sense and thematical it was queer.. augh. I'm gonna watch warrior nun.

I genuinely hope they were very intentional with writing Enid and Wednesday literally the only one with romantic tension and queer subtext..

like, cmon. Wenclair has paralleled Gomez and Tish so much in this show. be for fucking real.

okay that's it. most of what I've said has been said. last thing I wanna say is thank you for your time and effort to read this and.. Wednesday is both queer coded and autism coded.

#seajjae rambles #rant #thoughts and headcanons #netflix wednesday #Wednesday addams #THE ROMANCE IN THIS SHOW GIVE ME THE SAME PAIN AS I GET FROM WATCHING WICKED THE MUSICAL I SHIT YOU NOT!!! #the kiss scenes was so horribly hard for me to watch. usually in neutral face but in general kiss scenes are pre difficult for me to watcg #no matter if it's queer or het #but the kiss scenes here then me already being tired of all the lame heteroshit that's happening made me snap #anyway I loved the show even though I shit on the romance so much #this is like stranger things but I don't love stranger things but I enjoy watching it #but its also rlly bad romance #unless they planned this and are actually setting up for wenclair maybe hopefully a girl can dream #I'm done #finally got that out of my system

[prowerprojects]

(Modern Tails anon) {Don't worry, I totally get the need to vent. We all have our feelings on things, I'll try to my best to follow up with my own word vomit.} Heh, as long as he's doing something other than typing on a pad, that's seems to be enough for some people. /s (Archie didn't exactly do him better either; with everything else that was going on in it, but at least he had a few personal shining moments in it. IDW, Modern really hasn't had a definitive story yet. One that covers all his aspects and show his future potential, not just smarts and gadgets.)

Probably doesn't help that characters with superpowers tend to have a bias, compared to more "normal" ones. (I mean, Tails isn't normal either, but I think you get what I mean. Kid genius trope struggles.)

Hmmm, probably have to chalk that up to SoA localization changes; which omit the whole bullying thing and downplayed his inventor aspects pre-Adventure/Sonic X. Early cartoons playing hard into the 'kid' side didn't help either. (Underground completely removing him for real siblings certainly was a choice after AOSTH and SatAM went on about him and Sonic being surrogate brothers. At least the OVA balanced everything.)

Yeah, some are missing the point why Nine is the way he is and his current arc. As curious as I am about potentially seeing a "main antagonist" Tails, I can't help but feel it might hinder Modern Tails' outlook more or give even further wrong impressions of his character, especially in tangent to Sonic. (Frontiers is just words until we see what happens passed this game onward. I did sneak a look at the DLC leaks, and well, let's just say a certain trend of his we keep joking about continues and leave it at that. xD)

This is what I also mean about him interacting with other characters. How would he be as THEIR partner for a while? What if he took leadership and inspire others, just like Sonic has. What does he learn from those experiences? Considering he doesn't have personal contempt for most characters, him being mostly neutral allows him to talk virtually with everyone rather civilly. Including Eggman's robots. (Ah, someone else with the Tails and Sage vision. xD I'm hoping with their similarities, it leads to a cool dymanic between them, I don't quite see them fighting each other as much as Sonic and Eggman do.)

Heh, we don't talk about Sonic's admiration of Tails very much, or how they keep each other centered and it often leads to that lopsided view. Yeah, Sonic 'raised' Tails; more as guidance than the traditional parental sense, but Tails is one of the main reasons why Sonic is still alive. Sonic values Tails' opinion, even if it doesn't always align with his. His support and planning is why Sonic can succeed in his heroism. (Sonic isn't dumb by any means and can handle himself well, BUT can you say his adventures would have gone smoothly or quickly without Tails' help? Do you not think he enjoys Tails' company regardless and supports him with all his heart? Do you think why the dude who generally prefers solitude considers this fox close enough to be described as his family? Their bond has multiple layers, years of trust and is still evolving. Focusing and giving all the credit to one side of the team is disingenuous to both.)

Thanks, anon!

I wonder if idw would do something with Tails at all... maybe in a couple of years we'll see. I have other thoughts on idw, but I should stop myself because thinking about it too long is a bit upsetting. (I wrote an entire paragraph about him in the Metal Virus but. I should really stop thinking about it)

I'm really hoping we get a Tails-centric story in that 900 issues special, and if not, at least have him be a supporting character for someone he doesn't usually interact with much (so basically anybody who isn't Sonic). I looked at the list of the writers and I honestly have no idea who I'd want to write for him, since a lot of them only did a couple of sonic stories at most.

Technically Tails does have superpowers, he can fly and he's fast... but a good chunk of the cast also has those, so it isn't something that seems so special anymore. So he only has him being a kid genius to set him apart and yeah, I guess it isn't as awe-inspiring as being able to throw cars with your mind or set things on fire.

Yep. What I was trying to say in the last post, is Tails's backstory being kind of hard to figure out just from playing the game is the reason why the western adaptations were able to change him so much in the first place. (At least that's what I meant by "that's how we ended up with Tailses who thought math was hard"). Though maybe if those adaptations did have his game backstory elements being more prominent somehow, it would have created a different image of Tails for a lot of people in the west...

Interesting that the bullying thing was included in Stay Sonic, which is what the Fleetway comics is (partially) based on, and it is a part of his backstory in the comic as well. His bullies were other foxes, just like in Origins/Prime. (Kid genius thing was not included though, hence "Pixel Brain")

(Also it's interesting that aosth started to bring in some of the aspects of his game characterization by the second half of the show. The whole episode dedicated to him being a genius, and then his technological abilities do occasionally come up later on, him fanboying over a pilot and flying a plane in another episode, people occasionally commenting on how freaky it is that he has two tails, stuff like that)

Honestly I don't know what else I could add on the Nine thing, I genuinely don't believe he would be the final antagonist. If he does end up as one, I have no idea what it says about the actual Prime Tails, how are we meant to read it? (Also I just generally have a bit of a distaste for how fandoms would see a traumatized and hurting kid, who is maybe kind of angsty and isn't the best at managing their feelings, and immediately go "Oh evil! They're soooo gonna be a villain!" I understand it could be really cathartic to see a character who's been wronged and hurt to turn the tables and be unhinged and calling the shots, but 1) often in the end it ends up being self-destructive behavior, 2) while it could be cathartic for some viewers, and technically it's a plot that has a right to exist, the fact that it's a trend that I've noticed makes me feel like people associate mentally ill teenagers with being evil, which is not great (though maybe I'm reading too much into this), 3) I just genuinely think this isn't where Prime is going)) Tails could make for a terrifying antagonist, I'm just really struggling to imagine what could actually drive him to villainy.

Tails and Sage... my first thought was "Oh they're definitely gonna make them rivals. Considering that Tails used to battle Eggman, isn't that a bit of a downgrade?" But then I actually started thinking about it, and now I want it. I have some ideas, but the actual dynamic would really depend on where they take both of those characters after Frontiers. But it could be really interesting, and more importantly, different from the rivalries that we already have!

Yes, Sonic and Tails! As much as I would love for Tails to interact with other characters, he and Sonic do have a great dynamic together. Honestly I don't think I have anything to add. It reminded me of the recent Sonic Channel story, at the end Sonic says something along the lines of Eggman being the unluckiest person in the world because of all the people not to lose their memory, it was the two of them, which means he's definitely going down!

#sonic doesn't look before he leaps not because he's reckless he just knows tails would catch him #tails #hmmm I wouldn't call this one a rant #I've chilled out #project.txt #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic #how much sonic trusts tails is amazing to me #it really balances out tails's own admiration of sonic #i feel like being friends for so long had influenced sonic as well. the not looking before leaping thing from before was a joke but #I do think that knowing that he always has tails in his corner does influence some of his decision-making

[johnny-bravo]

Writers & Artists Wanted! 💕💸😎

HI, HI, HI!! I'm not really sure how many people are even going to be interested in this—if any at all—BUT! If you're an artist and/or writer who happens to be a fan of Johnny Bravo, you're in luck!

I want to put together a webcomic that will basically be a fan-made Johnny Bravo reboot—and I need YOUR help to do so!

Respectively, under this cut are details on:

1) Why I'm putting this project together!

2) What I'm looking for in a co-writer!

3) What I'm looking for in an artist!

4) 💸 Money! 💸

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Honestly, I have a lot of different reasons, and it'd be hard to sum it all up in just one paragraph. So take this long-winded monologue.

Obviously, the original series was not meant to be taken seriously whatsoever. It's just a silly (if somewhat dated) cartoon. But the general concept of the show itself—tackling toxic masculinity and showcasing how it can affect your life and those around you—is, in my opinion, an extremely important one that has a lot of great potential to be utilized.

Most characters in the show don't really have a solid personality, being shaped to fit whatever was most suitable for the episode at hand—but, that said, it's still uniquely interesting to see each character interact with one another, to see how they play off each other. Even though their personalities aren't always 100% concise, you can still get the gist of any of the characters' general feel and concept nonetheless, and it's that aspect that ties together each character's dynamic with one another as well as it does. The writing of the show and characters are very flexible, but seeing how Johnny interacts with the people around him—and the company he keeps around on a regular basis, like Mama, Suzy, Carl & Pops—brings a truly peaceful semblance of continuity and community to the show that it would likely lack under any other circumstance.

So, there's quite a few different reasons I want to do this webcomic!

Johnny Bravo, for both the series and the character, has a lot of great potential to be even more amazing than it already is. There are times when I hate the show, and there are times when I absolutely adore it. Of course, that said, I'm just one person, and everyone's opinions are different, and that's perfectly fine—but, ideally, I'm trying to recreate the series in a way that I (and hopefully others as well) can fully adore.

Going further off the first point, the show's general concept and message is a good one, but the execution of it is a bit messy, and there are honestly so many offensive stereotypes and jokes that certain episodes are almost a little hard to watch sometimes. And the writing in some episodes are just, arguably, not very good (especially in the 4th season, although I loved it too for its own reasons). Not only am I trying to recreate the series to be better written, but also to use it as a means of spreading more positive messages—both to a younger audience and the older. One of my favorite parts of consuming and producing media is the fact that it can genuinely impact the way a person views the world, even if only a little. If I have even the slightest chance of doing that with this comic, even if it's just one other person in the entire world, I'll probably be the happiest man on the planet!

Some people oftentimes like to say that a show such as Johnny Bravo could never be rebooted or remade in today's world. In my opinion, when it comes to writing and fiction, almost anything is possible if it's done well enough. I'm also just very full of spite. So, I'm trying to prove those people wrong.

My beef is not just with the people mentioned above, but also with the select few people who do defend the original series completely. You know, the ones who say there's absolutely nothing wrong with Johnny's behavior towards women, some of the show's writing in general, etc. Like I said, I honestly don't really expect this comic to do that well, and I'm mostly doing it for myself anyway, BUT… imagine if it does, and the dudebros start crying over the fact that Johnny Bravo is """woke""" now. The sheer amount of temper tantrums from the Andr*w T*te wannabes. I think it'd be a little funny tbh. Just a bit.

I lurk the Johnny Bravo tag in silence almost every single day (because I am mentally ill clearly). And lately, I've noticed a small uptick in Carl Chryniszzwics appreciation, as well as the JB series as a whole! Which, granted, is not much, because the Johnny Bravo community isn't very big. But nonetheless… Carl :) I like him a lot. Rest assured he is going to be a major part of this story too.

Honestly, I've just wanted to do this for YEARS now. This is a very, very big passion project for me!

NOW! With all that said, I am still quite a ways away from getting started on this project. The original plan was to do this all by myself—but, to be entirely honest, I don't think I can. For one, I'm nowhere near confident enough in my art skills to be drawing comics 😭 Writing, sure! But definitely not art. As much as I wish I could pull this entire comic series off single-handedly, I just don't think that's going to be possible for me.

WRITERS

In terms of writing, I'm honestly pretty confident in my style in itself, but my trouble mostly lies within the fact that I'm just not very good at coming up with storyline ideas. I don't think this series needs to have a huge, complicated plot or anything—but I would like to have at least a little continuity for this. Just a smidge, at least. A margin, if you will. Which is pretty inconvenient for me, funnily enough, because I'm not used to writing with continuity at all!

There's also the simple fact that I have never worked on a webcomic before. The most I've ever written are short stories, and those are just words. To be quite honest, I am not entirely sure what I'm doing! So, it'd honestly be nice to have at least one writer working with me on this that can help me come up with new and improved ideas in terms of story, as well as give me any sort of feedback they see fit for the story/characters!

ARTISTS

Like I've mentioned, I have absolutely no experience with webcomics whatsoever, just to be entirely transparent. I'm not even really sure how to structure a comic properly, no matter how many times I have tried before.

So, ideally, if you're interested in making art for this project, it would be helpful if you already have some sort of experience with making comics. I CAN draw a rough outline of the scenes you'll be drawing if you need some sort of direction, if you'd like me to, but that's up to you!

Along with this, I would prefer that the art style is drawn in a similar style to the show! It doesn't have to be 100% accurate, and please feel free to add your own flair to it!! But also, that said, if you're still interested but cannot emulate the show's style at all, that's alright too—it's more of a preference, but not a total requirement! I'll take whatever I can get honestly!

MONEY

So obviously if I'm hoping to get other people to work on this project with me, I'm 100% going to be willing to pay you for your work with me.

Please keep in mind this is mostly a passion project, nothing professional (if that wasn't obvious by now lmao). That being said, I know art and writing takes a LOT of time and effort, and you deserve to be paid as such.

So, for writers and artists, the prices will be up to YOU!

Mostly because I'm not really sure what prices qualify as too much/too little for these sorts of things. So just tell me what prices you see fit for your work, and I will be sure to pay you for what you do!

Along with this, in the future, I'm thinking of implementing TIPS! Meaning that anyone who would like to can donate money towards this project.

I'm NOT setting that up just yet, because I want to be 100% sure that I have a stable team and am completely ready for this project to launch before I do that, and obviously the last thing I want to do is be irresponsible with other people's money, so. I'm waiting on that part for now. Right now, I'm planning to pay the writers/artists from my own pocket—but I'm hoping that if the tips work out well enough, I could possibly raise the pay for writers/artists to pay them more for their work! So your money would be going to everyone working on the project if you were to tip any money in the future!

CONTACT & DISCORD

If you are interested in working on this project with me in any way, please feel free to send me a message at any time you'd like!

You can DM me here, but I'll probably reply a lot faster if you contact me on Discord or Twitter!

You are also free to join the discord server for this project, whether you're working on the project or not!

MY DISCORD: 🌷 ace! 🌷#9048

MY TWITTER: @greaserica

DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/2AaCpYW7pP

#johnny bravo #old cartoons #cartoon network #web comic #comics #fan comic #carl chryniszzswics

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

Gabe and Elena - 3, 5, 7, and 13 for the friendships ask, please?

themthemthemthem THANK YOU AMUEL

3. A random headcanon I have of them

Gabe takes her to the city a lot! I mean, it's not like Elena doesn't visit it herself (and actually probably more often than Gabe what with him being in the military and all) but I mean it in the sense that when Gabe goes home on a pass Elena often goes with him and he shows her what "a normal citizen's life" looks like (i.e. he gives her a secret probably half legal tour of the city, shares his favourite games, takes her to some amateur concerts, plays and dances and all the general stuff that you only know about when you live in a specific place your whole life.) And in general they hang out doing normal young adult stuff.

5. A scene I wish we had of them

Okay so this is something my sister noticed but. They never. Ever. Hugged in the show. As in never just the two of them, it was always a group hug with all the amigos. And I say we wERE ROBBED.

But other than that I'd love to see them interacting in semi/formal settings in season 3, like in Changing of the Guard or Crash Course, or even Captain Mateo. It's just peak of their dynamic in those episodes for me.

7. What makes me like their friendship

Wait you mean I have to verbalize it.

Uuuh... alright... eee...

Okay so I think partially because of how mundane it is? I mean, when compared to how Elena's friendship with the other amigos started, her and Gabe's meeting was almost an accident and so it took a lot more work than the other relationships. Their relationship has also changed much more and went through different phases as you perfectly summed it up yourself. And Gabe seems to be the only one to remember that Elena's the literal ruler and take that into consideration even once they're very close friends and personally equal. And there's much much more that I just can't put in words, just, they love each other, they would die for each other, they inspire each other, they hang out casually, they groan at each other's jokes, they learn and grow together, just....... Them.......

13. What I think would have happened if they never met

NOW THAT'S A FANTASTIC QUESTION LET ME PULL OUT MY AU FOLDER-

But in summary, it depends which side were looking from. For Elena I think not much would've changed story wise. Like, I think some of the plots would be harder (like the SoN arc), many episodes would definitely happen differently or wouldn't happen at all (Olaball, Princess Knight, Gecko's tale or The Curse of El Guapo for example) and I think she'd be a quite different person. She'd definitely be worse at fencing XD But also I think she'd have some problems with her confidence because while yes, Elena is a naturally confident person, I think Gabe really helped turn her confidence into persistence, and I think she'd also have a harder time while learning to be a leader since this was something they both had to learn and I think they both helped each other in this aspect. Those are the big things but there's obviously a ton of smaller ways that she'd be different too, that I just can't think about in the moment.

Now when it comes to GABE the changed would be much, much bigger, obviously. I think he'd still be a guard, but if he wasn't her personal guard, he wouldn't go on nearly as many adventures and would have less opportunities to learn and gain experience, I'm honestly not even sure if he'd become captain (not because of favorisation, but as I said, he'd have less opportunities to prove himself), now this could go a dark angsty route with unfulfilled ambition and unused potential (ESPECIALLY if you throw Guapo into the mix) or just a plain normal route. Gabe would remain a lieutenant for much longer, he wouldn't play olaball and his relationship with his dad would still be bad, he wouldn't know Mateo nor Naomi... Now that I think about it, Elena really DID change Gabe's life A LOT. So I don't know, maybe he'd eventually quit the guard, maybe he'd become and adventurer or a vigilante or a villain or maybe he'd leave Avalor, honestly there are a ton of possibilities because Elena is just that big of a part of Gabe's life.

Thank you so much for this ask Amuel!!! I am now bursting with ideas and they once again have taken over my brain.

Ask game

#my post #ask game #fictional friendship ask game #lieutenant-amuel #eoa #gabriel nuñez #gabe nunez #elena castillo flores #should i tag it as gabalena if its platonic #yeah i think i will #gabalena #themmmmmmm #oh my goodness my favourite duo ever #i love them so much #what did you do amuel 😭 #also now i see even more references to gabe and elenas friendship #especially princess knight #in changing of the guard #heck it im going to watch those episodes right friggin now #also you may find yourself asking #blue did you come up with a dark gabe au involving guapo where he turns against avalor and fights elena only they arent even friends #and the answer is #mayhaps #i could talk about them for hours probably straying further and further from canon #but its free real estate now and you cant stop me

[demonsandco]

Smut Alphabet - Lucifer

All the letters for Luci have been answered now, so here's a post compiling them all together!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

When he’s the one in charge, Luci acts like the king of aftercare. As much as he loves seeing his partner fall apart, he always makes sure to put them back together in the end. His go to thing is running a hot bath for his partner, letting him clean them up while also giving him a reason to hold them close and relax for once. After the bath, he’s pretty much at their beck and call, willing to run out and get them anything they need until they're ready to go to bed. It’s one of the only times when Luci won’t put up a fight about going to bed at a decent hour, instead opting to snuggle under the covers and pulling his partner close to his chest.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For a long while, Lucifer’s favorite parts of him were his wings, but now they carry too many memories for him to view them with the same light. Now, his favorite body part would be his hands. He has long fingers and a firm grip, perfect for grabbing his partner’s wrists with one hand and pinning them down.

When it comes to his partner, Lucifer’s favorite body part of theirs is their neck. It’s such a vulnerable part of their body and it’s his favorite place to leave marks. It’s a trust thing for him, as well as something that makes him feel powerful. Knowing that he could kill them in a second with his sharp teeth pressed to their throat, yet they trust him not to hurt them excites him to no end.

(cont under the cut)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Lucifer cums a pretty average amount, but he can do so quite a few times in a row. His favorite place to cum is in his S/O’s mouth or on their face. Marking them in such a way feeds into his pride, and he can’t help but admire how wonderful they look covered on his seed. He would never force them to swallow it when he does this, but if they choose to, he is left feeling awed and even hornier than before.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lucifer is more than prepared to take this secret to his grave, but he has, on more than one occasion, fantasised about having a pact master use their pact with him during sex, with consent of course. It’s the idea of trusting his partner to the point where he puts his life in their hands and gives them complete control that gets to him. He’d be able to just lay back and stop thinking for once, while they use him however they see fit, without him needing to make a single decision. If his actual S/O ever suggests something like that, he’d be overjoyed internally, but he plays it off as simply playing along with their idea. He refuses to let anyone know how much he enjoys the thought because of how embarrassing he finds it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Lucifer has quite a bit of experience, but only when it comes to sex involving BDSM dynamics. He doesn’t mind hooking up with someone if he has the option to have complete control for the night. The type of sex he’s used to is very much lacking in emotional connection. He’s left feeling a bit unsure of himself when it comes to more vanilla sex, being the submissive one, or just sex that involves emotions. He knows what he likes and he’s very skilled in the physical aspect, it just takes him a bit of time to get into the flow of things with a partner that he actually cares about. Especially when emotions are involved. He desperately wants his partner to know how much they mean to him, but he’s not quite sure how to translate his emotions into actions from the very start.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Lucifer’s favorite position is surprisingly vanilla in nature. Call him old fashioned or cliché, but he’s very fond of the missionary position. It doesn’t matter to him who’s on the top and who’s on the bottom, he’s fine with filling either role. He enjoys the closeness that it offers, pressing his chest against his partner’s and feeling each time they take a breath. Plus it offers so much versatility! He’s in the perfect place to kiss his partner as much as he wants, but he can also bury his face in their neck, leaving kisses and love bites, while also muffling his moans.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Lucifer very much prefers to take things seriously. He likes keeping the mood sensual and heated, and goofiness gets in the way of that. Some playfulness or teasing is perfectly fine, and even encouraged by him, but outright humor or jokes is something he’d rather avoid. If his partner insists on being humorous, he’d see it as them being bratty, and won’t hesitate to gag or punish them if they don’t listen to his warnings. It makes for a very easy way to rile him up, if that’s what they’re looking to do. His only focus in the moment is their pleasure (or pain) and his behavior reflects that.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

As with anything to do with his appearance, Lucifer takes meticulous care of his body hair. He constantly keeps it trimmed and short, even if he doesn’t have a partner who would be seeing it at the time. He’s prideful of how he looks and puts a lot of time into looking well put together in all aspects, even if no one will see it. He has a nice amount of body hair in general, though, his pubes leading up into a thin happy trail and a light dusting of hair over his chest. It’s all black in colour, just like the base of his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Surprisingly, Lucifer is very intimate in the moment. He considers sex itself to be an intimate and romantic activity. He needs to trust his partner quite a bit to feel comfortable letting them see him in such a potentially vulnerable position and that really shows. Even if he’s acting rough and dominating, he still can’t help but let a bit of softness and love seep into his words and actions. It’s one of the only times where he can voice his emotions easily, without his pride getting in the way.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Despite having a very high libido, Lucifer rarely takes the time to take care of his needs. He usually puts it off in favor of working, until he suddenly realises just how long it's been, and how needy he feels. It leaves him feeling so pent up and tense, not to mention unbearably sensitive, but getting himself off just doesn’t leave him feeling satisfied enough to be worth the time. He would much rather get off with a partner than on his own, and he’s willing to stay all worked up until then.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

This comes as a surprise to no one, but Lucifer loves bondage. Having his partner tied, watching them wiggle helplessly, unable to escape his touch, never fails to excite him and make his heart race. However, not only does Lucifer enjoy tying up his partner, he also loves to be the one getting tied up. The feel of tight ropes biting into his skin as he squirms under their gaze sends blood rushing straight to his dick. Especially when he thinks about how much trust he’s putting in them. He’s leaving himself open and helpless, yet he knows that they’ll never do anything he genuinely dislikes, just as he would never do that to them

On a similar note, Lucifer is also very fond of temperature play, especially when combined with bondage or even sensory deprivation. He likes the subtle blend of pain and pleasure that comes with it, alongside the anticipation of not knowing which will come next. He could spend hours teasing his partner like this, watching their reactions and listening to their cries. Of course, he’ll also let them return the favor, tying him up and teasing his senses with ice cubes and hot wax. He’ll hold in his reactions for as long as possible, and it’s hard to break him, but if they know where to target, they’ll have him begging soon enough. The span of his back, as well as his thighs are extra sensitive and dripping wax across his spine while sliding some ice over his inner thighs will leave him desperate and begging in no time.

Unsurprisingly, the Avatar of Pride has a huge praise kink. Lucifer craves praise from his partner, enjoying the feeling of pride coursing through his body when his partner tells him how good he feels and how well behaved he is. He strives to please them as much as he can, and the validation that he’s a good boy sends pleasure coursing through him. Of course, Lucifer also gets pleasure out of giving his partner praise, too, when he’s the one in charge. He wants them to know how proud he is of them when they’re being good.

On the opposite hand, Lucifer gets a weird amount of pleasure out of being humiliated. He isn’t fond of humiliating his S/O, being humiliated? Having a mere human exert that much power over him? It excites him to no end and he can’t explain why. If they treat him like he’s a lesser being, spit in his mouth, step on his cock, anything like that, Lucifer finds himself cumming so embarrassingly quick. He has to be in a specific headspace to enjoy it, but when he is, having his pride crushed in such a way feels like such a thrill.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Lucifer is a very private man and refuses to risk being caught in the act. The riskiest he’ll get is his office, but more often than not, it’s going to take place in his room. He prefers to take his time with his partner anyway, and that's much easier to accomplish on a comfortable bed, rather than somewhere else. He has more than enough self control to avoid doing anything too sensual outside of his room, where he feels safe.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He’ll never admit it, but seeing his s/o acting bold or taking charge never fails to excite him. It makes his mind wander and Lucifer can’t help but imagine them acting that way towards him, disregarding his rank and power and taking control of him. He’s almost ashamed of having such fantasies, but that just serves to excite him further.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Exhibitionism of any level is a big no for Lucifer. He has a hard enough time showing regular affection in public, and anything even remotely sexual in nature crosses his limits. He considers what he shares with his partner to be very personal and vulnerable and he refuses to have anyone else see him in such a state. He’s also not fond of anyone having a chance to see his partner in a disheveled state. In his mind, their body and reactions are for his eyes only. No one else even comes close to deserving to see them like that.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Lucifer very much prefers giving oral over receiving, and he’s damn good at it, too. He loves the amount of power it gives him, allowing him to control exactly how much pleasure he’s giving his partner. He knows exactly how to use his mouth to get specific responses from them. He’s also a quick learner and adapts to his partner’s preferences very fast.

While Lucifer doesn’t hate being on the receiving end, it takes some time for him to be open to the idea. Letting his partner have so much control over his pleasure leaves him feeling vulnerable and he has a harder time controlling his reactions. It takes every ounce of control he has not to grab the back of their head and set the pace himself, but he finds that it’s more worth it in the end to give them complete control.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Lucifer’s pace heavily depends on the mood of the night. If both he and his partner are stressed and need some relief, he’s more than happy to go hard and rough. He does enjoy taking his time, though, and if his schedule allows it, he’d much rather keep things sensual and slow. Intimacy is a very important part of sex for him, and a fast pace feels like it brings things to an end too quickly for him to fully enjoy it all the time, but he still likes the roughness of it. Regardless of who’s in control of the pace, he enjoys it best when there’s a healthy balance, starting out hard and fast, before gradually slowing down and letting some romance seep in, only to speed up once again as he and his partner get close to finishing.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lucifer is a very busy demon, meaning that sometimes all he has time for is a quickie, but that doesn’t mean he likes them. When he’s with his partner, he wants to be able to take his time with them, keep a slow and sensual pace, but he often can’t find the time for it. He always thinks a quickie would be better than nothing, but they often just leave him feeling even more pent up and desperate.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Lucifer isn’t the most open person when it comes to experimentation. Mostly because he’s already had experience with many kinks throughout his long life, and he feels that he’s got a very good idea of what he’s into. There are very few things his partner could suggest that he either isn’t completely against or that he hasn’t already tried. If they do manage to find something that he’s unsure of yet, he’s more than happy to try it out for them, as long as it’s in a controlled environment. His partner has a much higher chance of getting him to experience something new if he’s the submissive one for the night. Chances are he’ll end up enjoying it, even if he was a bit unsure at first. He thrives off of pleasing his s/o and they’ll quickly find that he has very few limits.

Lucifer is very fond of everything being safe and controlled, regardless of who is in charge for the night. He outright refuses to do anything he’d consider obscene anywhere that someone else could walk into. He wants anything that happens to stay between him and his partner, and his not a fan of risking that in any way.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Lucifer has quite a lot of stamina, when he's not exhausted and overworked, at least. He's not exaggerating when he says he'll keep his partner busy all night long. He can take a few more rounds than the average human, but they last for ages. He's skilled at holding off his own orgasms, capable of making his partner cum on his cock a couple times at least, before finally letting go himself. He uses this to his advantage often, wanting to make sure he completely satisfies them before reaching his own peak.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Lucifer has a rather impressive collection of toys, or perhaps tools would be more accurate. He doesn't own anything like dildos or vibrators, but he has everything from different styles of restraints, to paddles, to whips. He has no qualms using some of the… less extreme tools in his collection on his partner, and he's not opposed to adding some more commonly seen sex toys to the mix, as well. If they show interest, he's more than happy to switch roles and lend them his tools, but he greatly prefers the feel of his partner's body, rather than a plastic toy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Lucifer is a huge fan of teasing his partner, but he’s very easily swayed by begging. He could genuinely spend hours teasing them and finding new ways to make them react, but as soon as they beg him for more, he loses all semblance of patience and control. Hearing his partner beg feeds straight into his pride, and he’s always weak when it comes to their wants and needs.

Lucifer himself is rather fun to tease as well. It may not be his favorite thing, but he enjoys it from time to time. It takes a lot of practice and patience to actually break him, though, but it’s more than worth it in the end. What’s better than seeing the Avatar of Pride crying and groveling, pleading for his partner to let him cum?

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lucifer purposefully keeps himself quiet, doing his best to avoid making any sort of embarrassing noises. It works pretty well for him at first, the most that’s coming out of his mouth being soft gasps or groans from behind his clenched teeth, but the closer he gets, the less controlled his voice becomes, letting sweet, delicate moans slip out. He’s still not the type of person to be extra loud or talkative, but it’s not uncommon to hear soft words of praise in between the whiny noises he can’t seem to silence anymore.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Despite the sadistic and domineering persona he puts on, most of the time, Lucifer actually prefers to be the submissive one. He spends every waking moment of his life feeling like he needs to be in control and trying to take care of everything, that what he really craves is to just lay back and have someone else take the reins. It takes a huge amount of trust for Lucifer to admit this, but once he does, he’s willing to let his partner do whatever they want to him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Lucifer's dick is an impressive sight, but isn't too intimidating. He has a lot of length, more than the average human, and just enough girth to provide a stretch, without requiring extensive prepping. His skin flushes easily, making his a cock a pretty pink colour when he's hard. The thing that stands out the most, though, is that he has piercings down there. There's three to be exact, all lined up on the underside of his cock, forming a Jacob's ladder. They match the nipple piercings that he also keeps hidden under his clothes.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Lucifer’s sex drive is pretty high compared to the average human, but it really isn’t very high for a demon. He’s always so pent up, however, that you’d never be able to tell that. He’s always busy, and when he does have time to spend with his S/O, he wants to do something romantic with them first, constantly pushing aside his need in favor of something else. By the time he’s finally alone and in the mood with them, he's so desperate and sensitive that he comes across as constantly horny, when he’s actually just denying himself until he can’t handle it anymore.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Lucifer has a horrible sleep schedule and struggles to get some rest even when he’s tired. The chances of him falling asleep before his partner are extremely low, even if they wore him out. Even if he doesn’t have any work he feels pressured to finish, chances are that once he finishes taking care of his partner, he’s still going to stay up. He’ll stay in bed if they ask him to, but he’ll find something to read or put on some soft music to keep him busy for a few hours, until he finally feels like he can rest.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me smut #obey me lucifer #obey me headcanons #smut alphabet #lime time #some of these were answered a long time ago #and looking back on them was painful hhhh #i still agree with the headcanons themselves #but fuck i hate how i wrote it #so some of these are edited a bit

[billiewena]

saw someone make a comment about how “there’s no proof sam winchester isn’t straight!!” and it made me realize how new this side of spn tumblr is to bi/pan/nonbinary/queer sam. the history of it, the evidence for it, and most importantly...how fun it can be!!

as someone who’s been in the trenches in both the samgirl/desticule side of tumblr over the years I thought it’d be fun to share some LGBT Sam Winchester History (Herstory? Theirstory?) for anyone new to queer sam headcanons (and canon) but still interested!

sam winchester: COULD he be any gayer??

disclaimer: it’s okay if you didn’t know these things before! a lot of destiel shippers got into supernatural for destiel. that’s not and shouldn’t be controversial? joining spn tumblr doesn’t come with a welcome pamphlet and it’s a show with 300+ episodes. people shouldn’t be expected to have analyzed every aspect of it and know every behind-the-scenes fact.  people are STILL discovering new details even in  2021. this is not a “why isn’t anyone talking about this??” post (I hate those posts) but hopefully a "queer sam for newbies.”

the facts

writer and s6-s7 showrunner sera gamble supported a MLM reading of sam as early as s2, revealed in the commentary for the episode “bloodlust”. in the episode, sam has a flirtatious exchange with the bartender eli (coincidentally played by ty olsson, later known for playing benny.) however it’s implied that gamble was shut down as robert singer referred to her queer sam headcanons as nothing more than “sick twisted fantasies”

while this is the only known and confirmed instance of fully intentional queer subtext (similar to dean’s moment with aaron in S8) there have been a few other questionable exchanges with sam and men on cases, i.e. patrick the gambler witch from 5x07 or paul the bartender from 5x17 (both featured in this great gifset). notably, both most instances including these two happen in episodes by gamble.

(sidenote: there’s theories that the main character on sera gamble’s The Magicians is VERY similar to sam and this was sorta her way of having a queer sam-esque character. it is a good show, just know it does NOT end happy for the character in question. the character of quentin doesn’t use any specific labels but is in relationships with men and women in the show all while being a floppy-haired, bookish but powerful nerd just like sam!)

while sam has interacted with both male and female crossroads demon, he has ONLY summoned male ones on his own (check my own breakdown of the history of crossroads demon gender on the show)

sam refers to past/potential love interests with gender neutral pronouns (examples). his actor has also done this in the past when referring to sam's relationships.

he understands terms used in the gay community, i.e. fifth base

some of the fun evidence we use for trans!dean (i.e. the photo ID that says “F” for birth sex) has also happened to sam!

his reaction to seeing a shirtless man in bed

brady is referred to as sam’s demon lover and crowley implies that the two have "history.” I’d compare the popularity of sambrady in the sam fandom to deanlee in the destiel fandom; it’s generally headcanoned that there was indeed a complicated, college relationship there that becomes even more complicated when a demon possesses him. it wouldn’t be the only past love interest of sam’s to be possessed by a demon either.

the 👀

when dean makes jokes like “could you be anymore gay?” sam actually looks pensive like “huh? COULD I be?” this is very much how I would respond to this kind of joke if my roommates made it and we are LITERALLY all queer

he owned a purple dog shirt...is that straight behavior to you.

he’s a canonical theater kid who took an art history course (for “picking up girls” which sounds a lot like an excuse he’d give to not reveal he did it for gay reasons) AND was attached to his high school English teacher, like pick a struggle

he had an imaginary friend as a kid (sully my beloved) with some light queercoding of his own i.e. rainbow suspenders. sully encouraged him to love himself and to not listen to/be like his family

dean has literally microaggressed sam 10x more than sam has microaggressed dean. I would literally go sleep with a guy just to spite him after the 60th comment.

in general, sam’s story is just...queercoded af. “son is treated as wrong and a freak by his father until he leave home at the age of eighteen?” that’s queer baby!! and I get it, I too moved to college in a state I knew my family would never visit as soon as I could!! alexa play The Village by Wrabel.

and lastly but most important (and I say this as a bi!dean truther because helloooo look at my blog)...at no point has sam ever said he is straight. dean has said they are (“we don’t swing that way” in response to victor henrickson) but sam never said anything regarding his sexuality.

are you into the idea of queer sam but don’t know where to start? here are some of my favorite arguments for the different readings along with some personal interpretations and headcanons!

why I think bi/pan/queer/labelless sam is sexy:

saileen, samruby and samjess all feel like bi4bi couples let’s be real here

demon lover brady could’ve actually been his demon lover! the trauma of your college boyfriend / probably first gay experience being a monster used against you??? lifelong disorders! it also wouldn’t be the first time a demon possessed a former sam love interest.

sam’s not hung-up on any of the things dean is hung-up on. labels or orientations, he’s always been open to all of it. just like how sam can listen to a celine dion album or drink “vegetable water” without thinking twice about it. to me, it’s all about how sam has always been comfortable with his sexuality and it not being a big deal for him, and dean just...hasn’t lol.

sexualty is a spectrum! sam can still prefer women and in fact has excellent taste in them (have you seen his girlfriends? have you? this may be the samcoding talking...)

while the majority of queer sam fans ship with him with castiel (and who can blame them, it’s CAS) there’s other cute boyfriends out there for him too:

- max banes, the cool and canonically queer witch from s12. in their first scene together, he defends sam from a stranger asking about his trauma! a man that respects sam’s boundaries? sexy af. also witch!sam and max banes?? sexy af. in general there was so much more the show could’ve and should’ve done with the banes twins, and exploring that through sam’s pov would’ve been fascinating because you know he would try to help max & alicia and understand why he did what he did!

- mick davies, aka sam’s “nerd soulmate” as dean refers to him. sam and mick get each other and bond over their love of learning and making the world of hunting a better place! mick even turns against the BMOL to side with them (but unfortunately dies before that can be realized.) oh, society if mick was resurrected instead of ketch and got to be nerdy bfs with sam...

- one episode-icons patrick the witch (what’s it with sam and witches amiright), paul (my personal beloved) and brady the demon and/or human (a given)

- crowley! while its peak popularity was probably pre-samwena and the drowley summer of love, the samcrowley fandom (formerly known as "moosely" now usually referred to as "cram") is STILL alive and kickin’. they even have cram mondays now!

- and can’t forget ol’ gabriel the archangel. sabriel is a classic “opposites attract” pairing that’s existed ever since sam puppy-dog eyed his way out of a timeloop and you know what? for good reason. two words: height differences.

sam being an ally isn’t nearly as fun to me as sam being out for years and just waiting for his idiot brother to catch up so he can get the stick out of his ass so he can then list of a list of microaggressions dean has made over the years. I think he deserves it.

why I think gay sam is sexy

this post is basically the gay sam manifesto so I’m stealing from there but

basically there are multiple instances where a girl comes onto sam and he very harshly rejects them (i.e. the iconic “I’m lactose intolerant”) and I think it’s funny okay. I love you gay sammy.

why I think nonbinary/he & they sam is sexy:

again, the whole “not hung up on labels” thing. sam using gender neutral pronouns for his past relationships means it makes total sense for them to also refer to themselves with gender neutral pronouns.

a lot of sam’s journey on the show is about their body autonomy and lack thereof (and whatever mother mother was singing about in “body” and ajj in “body terror song”) to me, trans/nonbinary sam is just him reclaiming their body and making it their own again. a chance to heal and be confident in their identity and sense of self.

sam/sammy is literally the perfect nonbinary name!! they struck the gender neutral name LOTTERY I’m so goddamn jealous

long hair, don’t care! nonbinary people have the freedom to mix & match whatever gender expressions they want because they owe no one androgyny.  I love the idea that sam’s always been into having more traditionally feminine hair that’s it’s become part of their identity, and one of the most iconic aspects of their character, while dressing and presenting traditionally masculine otherwise.

sam’s actor has vocally supported it he/they sam headcanons! am I a fan of his? of course not! does it still matter just as much as jensen saying dean’s side of the confession is open to all interpretation? yes! actors do not make and cannot make anything canon, but being supportive of it IS still nice and encouraging! can you imagine if misha hadn’t been so open to queer readings of cas? can you imagine if his support was taken away from you? it’d suck!

I’m samcoded and also a they/them, so like...they/them solidarity I guess????

why I think trans!masc sam is sexy:

see less love for this but so far every FTM Sam fic I’ve read has made me cry so that’s gotta be something right

speaking of “makes me cry”, THIS TRANS SAM COMIC BY @kimodraw MAKES ME FULL-ON SOB PLEASE READ IT

there’s lots of interesting show details that could be used as evidence just like trans!dean headcanons (sam being called “samantha” in mostly derogatory manners being deadnaming, the F on his ID that one time, etc.)

sam going from Baby Boy to Buff AF? that’s just the T!

sam + cahartt hoodie = transmasc swag

the john, sam and dean dynamic is only intensified if he was seen as the precious daughter that must be protected (and not as a living person) and adds even more layers when sam return to the family as a man

there is also something compelling about sam becoming a man in a family with such a warped view of masculinity & wanting to redefine the definition of a “man” for himself

as far as headcanons, this post has so many beautiful headcanons of sam growing up trans

sam coming to embrace who he is in college, jess being openly supportive of sam as soon as he comes out, jess joining sam on his appointment to get his top surgery, jess proudly loving her boyfriend as the man he’s grown to become...goddamn it I’m crying again...

why trans!femme sam is sexy (bonus points if it’s trans!lesbian sam):

update: I have been leaning away from this and think this post explains it well (thanks queersamofficial for sharing) but would love to hear from trans!femme fans who want to talk about it! in general, this is a very fanon-heavy interpretation (similar to witch!sam) and think it’s important to know that. tho I always support more trans headcanons over cisswaps/genderbends.

since this is the masterpost tho...all you DO need to know is that sam winchester is very popular with the lesbian spn fan community (science cannot explain this) and there are storylines and moments that I think resonate with sapphic fans similar to how dean resonates with trans!masc fans and cas resonates with ace/demi fans. I even made a post about one. would love to hear people talk about it!

anyways, if you are a fan of trans!femme sam...

known lesbian icon velma from scooby-doo having a crush on sam when they first meet? well...

trans!femme AND witch!sam? best combination known to man, the POWER that has, the IMPACT that has---

trans!femme divorcing herself from not only her old self but her family’s obsession with toxic masculinity? *chef’s kiss*

bonus trans!sam: stream thee t4t samruby post

why I think aro!sam is sexy

this post

sam always associated a “good life” with having a girlfriend or wife, but aro!sam comes to realize he doesn’t need that to be happy. his happy ending can look a lot of different ways.

...tho aro saileen and samruby does compel me

I don’t have much to offer in the asexual!sam departments, BUT my inbox is open to anyone passionate about it who want to talk about it (or anyone who has anything to add here!!)

counter arguments I’ve gotten sometimes:

"___ and ___” was clearly just a homophobic/misogynistic/joke, not evidence of anything

I mean I could say the same for 75% of bisexual dean and destiel evidence so. I approach LGBT sam the way trans!dean fans approach that interpretation (which I also love): taking what was nothing more than a shitty joke from cishet men and turning it into something beautiful that you can relate to and see yourself in instead.

"j*red is the straightest/most homophobic man alive I refuse to see any character he plays as queer”

yo I hate that guy and you should too. luckily these characters are fictional and you don’t need to like the actor to enjoy a character. in fact, actors shouldn’t exist at all anymore I think. I like headcanoning his character as queer/trans just to spite him even. while his actor may have kept him from being the queer icon he deserved to be, the writing (and most importantly the writer’s support) was there.

this is just a made-up version of sam that lives in your head :/

well, yeah? while there is canon evidence for some of these especially the bi!sam truthing, sometimes headcanons are just fanon...and that’s okay! the canon version of the show ended with dean a dead “heterosexual” alcoholic and sam married to some random woman we know nothing about it. what’s wrong with imagining a better more satisfying ending and story for these characters? also, if you think the differences between fanon sam and canon sam are bad you should see the differences between fanon dean and canon dean.

final argument: what queer!sam adds to destiel because they can (and should!) coexist!

“but wouldn’t have sam figured out that dean was lgbt if he was also lgbt?” no? one, there’s a LOT about dean that sam doesn’t know and that’s a major reoccurring theme (especially since dean is a parent figure to him in addition to an older brother). two, even then how do you ever know for sure? my “token straight friend” made jokes for YEARSSSS about her lady crushes and we never took them seriously since she said it was just her being comfortable in her sexuality. guess who came out as bi the past year?

“I’ve been out since Standford” Sam can judge dean for still being hung up on his outdated ideas of masculinity, sexuality, etc. (which he does anyways! now he just has more reason to!)

all of TFW and their friends being LGBT only makes sense because gay people tend to flock to each other like magnets!! science cannot explain this!! all but one of my friends I knew in high school / college has since come out as something!! even one we joked was the token straight realized they were bi this year!! another thinks they might be ace! it never stops!!!

the impala is basically now just the “down with cis” car

the chaos of sam and cas’s friendship is not only explained if they’re both queer but ELEVATED

jack gets THREE gay dads!! the literal dream

when dean does come out, he still has the most supportive brother in his corner ready to help him be more accepting of himself...but also to help educate him on queer issues because let’s be real, dean has some learning (and unlearning) to do. charlie and sam are preparing a powerpoint as we SPEAK.

but he’s allowed to still microaggress dean because 1) that’s what he deserves for helping make sam’s childhood one long macroaggression and 2) he’s funnier about it. dean and sam ARE a win for gay homophobe rights.

at the end of the day, the show never even let dean be openly bisexual so what better form of rebellion is there than headcanoning no spn character as cishet? you can’t give us one good gay movie kiss and now ALL your characters are gay & trans, bob singer <3

most importantly: sam, dean, and adam all being lgbt??? john winchester’s worst nightmare baby!

at the end of the day, they are literally all fictional and this is a sandbox in which we can do whatever we want! no one wins by keeping someone from headcanoning a character as any form of LGBTQIA, but we do have fun to gain!

on that note, here's some fun queer sam tumblr posts to start you on your journey: (x) (x)

I also highly recommend the blog queersamofficial (which shares fun posts & ships) and sambrosia’s sam slash anyone series if you want a fun introduction to all the sam ships out there! (includes m/m and f/m)

update: I also now have a side samblog (@alivegirlsam​) if you’re a multishipper who considers yourself sastielcurious or just want to talk more about queer sam, trans sam, sam in general.

#sam winchester #bi sam winchester #queer sam winchester #trans!sam winchester #trans!sam #ftm sam winchester #mtf sam winchester #nonbinary sam winchester #bisexual sam winchester #lesbian sam winchester #pansexual sam winchester #transnatural #transnaturalweek #spnprideweek #spn #spn tumblr #spn headcanons #spn meta #spn fandom #supernatural #samgirl tumblr and desticule tumblr I am holding hands with all of you <3 #my only enemy are people who think cas is straight lol #ntjdmakesthings

[bonny-kookoo]

Rabbit Boy | JJK x Reader | 🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 10.3k (Long)

Genre: Romance, Friends/strangers to lovers, Smut, BDSM because I'm making that a genre now

Tags/Warnings: BDSM themes (please I'm begging you stop reading my shit if it makes you uncumfortable), mentions of restrainment, light shibari, edging, orgasm denial (very mild), Subspace, Domspace because yes thats a thing, Dom/sub dynamics, Biting, Oral (m and f receiving), riding, and not the horseback kind if you know what I mean, protected sex yes, we love an organized household, there's just so much sweet filth istg

Summary: Jungkook is wild, untamed, and doesn't really commit to anyone for long. But maybe, you're his only exception in this world. Maybe, you're really that perfect partner he's been looking for.

Jungkook likes to think of himself as an artist.

Sure, if people knew exactly what the young man does in his freetime (or as a side job, don't judge, we all want to make money out of our hobbies stop lying to yourself), they would surely look at him differently.

But he's an artist, nonetheless.

Technically, Jungkook also doesn't need to do what he does simply for the money. No, his main job pays very well- considering that he's one of the top elite in his genre of games. He doesn't just merely play and win a game; Jungkook, just like most things he touches, claims complete ownership of the match he's fighting. It's a well known fact that he's someone who likes things for himself. He loves control, craves to lead, and hates to be belittled.

Oh and yeah- financially, investing in an indie-game three years back had also done his bank account some good.

Now, at an age where he can be fully considered a man, and not a boy anymore, he craves control in different aspects of life- and love.

Jungkook has a problem however.

He's wild.

Not in the way one might think he is (although several people could argue that yes, that's also the case in bed..) but generally. He loves to control- but he hates to be tied down.

And a mindset like that doesn't work well with relationships.

He's had them before, don't get him wrong. He's had numerous in the past, but they all either broke apart because he would hold that particular desire back, making him antsy and moody, or he would welcome his partners into his world, and become uncomfortable with the way things would progress.

No, he doesn't want to experiment. He knows exactly what he wants, and if that means he's 'close-minded' and a bad person, then so be it for him.

He never liked the constant company in his apartment anyways.

"Ah, I've seen her before. She's usually a regular for Yoongi though." Taehyung says, checking a name for Jungkook, who's doodling on a napkin while he waits for his new appointment to show up. "I see. I forgot that Yoongi took some days off recently- that's probably why she's now under your hand." He explains, and Jungkook huffs, his blonde hair tickling his cheek.

"So I'll have to adjust? I mean, Yoongi's style is pretty different from mine." The young man says, not looking up. He simply continues his little sketch of braided hair, while the lanky guy behind the counter clicks away on his laptop.

"Probably? I can't check the logs since they're private, but from what I know Yoongi only did the usual with her." he explains, shrugging as he looks at his friend and colleague. "I can re-schedule her to Hoseok if you want?" He asks, and Jungkook, after finishing his drawing, lets the pen fall and stretches.

"Yeah, that would probably be best. Wouldn't know what to do if she drops- rather not have him rip my head off, thanks." He says, before he gets up.

"Ah- you're still coming over tonight right? Y/N said she's gonna cook for us." He says, and Jungkooks body shivers a little.

Your name is nothing new to him, but the reaction to it most certainly was. You're a friend of Yoongi and Hoseok, having joined in on their gaming nights a few months ago after Yoongi had insisted you couldn't stay alone on a christmas day. Jungkook had never really asked why you were alone in the first place, but he had never really cared much for it either. Sure, you were an absolute gem to look at; technically absolutely his type, but he had early on decided not to pursue anything at all with you. He knew friendship wouldn't stay friendship with you, his own hunger way too large to simply be satiated by platonic gestures-

and he was also sure you wouldn't be able to handle him, truly. The conversation with Jimin, one of your best friends, had changed nothing about that. Because he didn't know you well enough to quite know if you were only bark and no bite- or if you were genuinely craving the same things he did.

But most recently, there had been a change in his opinion on you. Because he had seen you, come out of this place, out of Yoongis studio.

You knew about all of this- and you were still around.

Nothing had changed.

Now, of course he had instantly poked holes into the poor guy about if he had ever played with you before- and the answer he had gotten, had made him even more interested and antsy to get closer to you.

Because while you trusted Yoongi with everything you had, he had never done anything with you. You had simply been interested in watching a scene unfold- and had told him that you were definitely interested in participating. The reason Jungkook couldn't ask you directly was a clear one-

You were majorly intimidated by him, to the point of, he had never really had a proper conversation with you. Partially, he had to admit, because he himself didn't want to involve himself too much with you.

He’d always asked himself; wouldn’t you be even more distant and reserved with him if you knew this side of him? Sure, you always joked around that he probably tied his girls up and edged them until they cried- but did you know that he genuinely enjoyed these things?

Relationships for him were mere covers to call the arrangements he had with the girls that came and went in his life in a constant changing matter. Deep down, no one night stand could satisfy his most carnal desires, and he was very well aware of that. But he rather took what he could get and lived a fever dream for a few moments than stay on his own simply because his idea of pleasure and sex was not the norm.

No, he refused to deny himself that.

Maybe it was because he’d always lived a rather lavish life- with his parents well off and his own career skyrocketing he never really had any worries like you have had in the past. For some odd reason, while looking at the soft red rope in his hands, his thoughts suddenly went astray; he knew he could give you the stability you oh so craved, in every way shape and form. You were a diamond simply waiting to be perfected- you had so much potential, knowing that you were secretly wandering around the same paths as he did made him even more frustrated.

The hints were there, they were obvious; from the way you had sighed out in bliss when he’d teasingly pulled your hair just hours ago, to the sinful confessions he’d heard that night when he overheard you and jimin by accident. Of course he’d maybe wasted a thought or two of you underneath him to humor him once or twice- but now with the rope in his hands, his mind immediately began painting pictures of it against your skin. Would you enjoy it? And what if he took your sight, or only bound your hands? What if he denied you to cum, or if he took you from behind, grabbing your hair and pushing down your spine to make it arch so prettily- never with the intend to hurt, of course. He knew he’d have to tame you first, make you submit, but then again, he loved the challenge.

You made even the idea of touching fun.

He wouldn't even have to undress you to fully get himself worked up, he was sure of that. Only seeing you bow to his very command would be enough to satisfy him. Of course, over the course of time he would lead you deeper and deeper into his rabbit hole, but he would take it slow for you.

So, with a smile, and a wave of his hand, he walked past the girl he knew had been his appointment- grinning at Taehyung. "Of course I'll be there."

He wouldn't dare miss a night with you.

You were stressing. A little.

Maybe.

Maybe a lot.

Everything would've been fine if they guys would've all come over. But due to the bad weather, and Taehyungs bad habit of never properly fixing his god-forsaken dumpster of a car, only one of them would be able to make it. And of course the one had to be Jeon Jungkook.

Just great.

Now, it wasn't like you didn't like the guy, no way. The problem was more, that he was on the exact opposite of that spectrum. You had a major crush on him, which felt like the plot to a really bad drama show you would watch drunk at night- and in a way, it really felt like one too. Because you were pretty sure, he didn't even know your name.

But oh well- apparently he knew more than that. More specifically, your phone number. And it had scared the shit out of you at first to receive a message from him because how the hell did he get your number, but then again you remembered that one of your connections was Kim Taehyung- and everyone knew what he knew.

It was the doorbell that ripped you out of your skin almost.

You didn't even change, deciding any effort would be too late anyways; and you were still heavily confused in the first place why the fuck he would come over alone, even though you two had never exchanged much more than a friendly hello and goodbye. But there he was, as you opened the door- soft, white hoodie and ripped jeans, a bit damp from the rain outside as you let him inside.

He didn't move.

"Uh-" You started, but he just looked at you, friendly as ever, although a teasing glint in his eye made you frown a bit.

He thought it was cute.

"You didn't tell me to come in." He said, and you blinked once, twice, before your brain had properly restarted.

"Oh uh- come in?" You said, again, moving a bit to the side so he could walk in- which he still didn't. "Jungkook come on now its fucking cold-!" You whined, and he laughed, finally stepping inside. Had he always been like that? Could very well be the case, after all, you had never truly paid much attention to his behavior before.

"Thanks for letting me come over." He said, and you watched him as he untied his boots. "I had nothing else to do- and also, I didn't want you to waste any food, considering Tae said you cooked for us." He explained, before he got up again from his half kneeling position, boots now standing next to your significantly smaller shoes.

"Ah, it would've been fine, you guys don't have to feel bad." You waved off, smiling. "I was about to stop cooking anyways when Jimin had texted me, but well, then you did and uhm.." You drifted off, noticing how you were suddenly waiting for him to lead the way.

In your own apartment.

What the hell?

If he noticed however, he didn't show it. He simply smiled, and moved his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie. "Ah, thanks. I appreciate it, really." He said, and you smiled at him as well, walking towards the main area of your apartment. It was small, very small compared to his own, but he enjoyed the feeling of it. Everything around him reminded him of you, in a way; from the pictures taped to the walls, to the stickers on your fridge. It all held a piece of you in it. "Your apartment is really nice, by the way." He commented, and you turned around, before getting plates and cutlery to bring inside the living room.

"Ah, right, it's your first time here." You said. "Thanks- the living room is right around the corner there, you can just sit down and I'll bring everything there." You explained, and he smiled, nodding without arguing.

You liked that.

Typically, there would've been this awkward 'oh no let me help you', but Jungkook didn't seem to dwell on it much, letting you do your thing instead of butting in and making things weird. He simply walked where you had directed him, sitting down on the couch as he went to place a blanket to the side. His fingers moved over the fabric for a moment, noticing how everything on the couch, including the pillows, were made of that same, soft material.

Interesting.

"Oh- you can just put that to the side, sorry I forgot to clean that up." You said, putting the food onto the table as he just smiles again. He waits for you to sit down as well before you turn up the TV volume a little, nerves finally setting in as you notice there's almost nothing you can talk to him about. "This is awkward." You comment, and he chuckles at that swallowing his bite as he looks at you.

"Doesn't have to be." He states, before he turns his body a bit more into your direction; a visible sign that he wants a conversation. "Tae has never mentioned what you do for a living." He states, an unasked question of his. He lets you decide if you want to take it as one or leave it as a statement- it makes you feel nice, in a way.

"Ah uh.. it's really boring, so I guess I never really talk about it either.." You say, and he tilts his head a little, a silent urging for you to continue. You feel insignificant next o him and his job however. He's superior to you in any way, and you don't want him to feel pity or laugh at you for your job. "I uh.. I'm a programmer for a.. pretty unknown game studio." You say, body almost shrinking in on itself as you wait for his reaction. Much to your surprise however, he makes a sound that's purely surprise, as he swallows his bite with a bit of urgency.

"Fuck really?! That's so cool though!" He argues, brows furrowed a bit as he playfully accuses you with his next words. "Indie or not, a programmer is the main force of any game. Did you work on any games I might know of?" He asks, eyes sparkling as he realizes he had finally found something to bond with you over.

"Uh.. 'Rabbit Boy' was our best hit until now.." You say, still a bit shy, but you're also a tad more confident now. His reaction is either well-staged, or he's genuinely interested in what you do.

"I played it I think. It was a bit short, but I loved the mechanics." He says, and before he can quite stop himself, his hand has already reached out to you, running over your hair as he praises you like second nature. "Wuah, so smart!" He says, before he gets a reaction he wouldn't have thought he'd get from shy-you.

Because you playfully shove him, your socked feet pushed against the side of his thigh as you giggle at him.

Interesting, again.

Now, Jimin has actually told him about this before. How you were anything but the shy girl when you were around people you knew and trusted. He had believed it- to an extend- because he had also thought that maybe you were like that to prove your spot between those guys. As the only girl, you easily got thrown under the bus, so you had to somehow own your spot in the midst of your circle of friends.

However, it seemed like you were truly just a brat, hiding behind that innocent facade of yours. A barking dog, with every intent to bite if needed.

And Jungkook knew, he'd love to tame you, show you your spot, and make you his prey.

The trashy movie your watching bores you, in a way. Jungkook has noticed this already, having taken note of your feet wiggling around, your teeth nibbling on the inside of your cheek, as you rest your cheek on your hand, elbow resting on the side of the couch.

“I don’t know why she’s so hesitant.” You mutter, pouting as you slump into the couch- uncaring that the side of your body now leans against his own. He feels your warmth- and for some reason it brings him comfort to notice that you’re seemingly growing more at ease. “I mean, it’s what she’s into, right?” You say, brows furrowed as you watch the screen.

“It’s not that simple.” Jungkook explains, trying to not make it obvious that he’s not necessarily talking about the movie. “Some men like to you know.. fight for a partner. Impress them. Win them over.” He explains, and he can feel you shift a little- until your head raises a bit, watching him as he watches you; gazes locked, and you can’t look away. You’re shy, you’re growing restless, but his eyes are like magnets; there’s no way you can avert your gaze.

“And.. you?” You ask, voice not loud at all, as if you don’t even notice you’re saying it. He loves that- loves the fact that you’re slowly letting him closer- not only physically.

“I like to earn my spot in their lives.” He states, and your mind suddenly begins to spin. You’ve always seen him as someone who doesn’t care much about emotions or feelings, or relationships for that matter. And maybe he doesn’t- maybe he just says this because he knows your weak spots. But the way his words fall into your ears makes you believe him. “I like to see my partner thrive; I love to see them grow. And..” he says, boldly deciding to slowly reach out his hand that was placed on the back of the couch- his fingers running through your hair, only brushing through, never pulling (no matter how much you’re craving it secretly). “I love to see them let go.” He humms out, and there’s a sudden shiver down your back, one that he definitely notices.

This is it. This is where you’ll let him touch you, let him wreck you, let him ruin you. You lean in closer, and so does he, but just when your lips are about to touch, he smiles gently- a warm affectionate gesture that you’ve never seen from him. And with it being directed at you, it’s even more meaningful- but it’s all about his next move, the way his inked fingers trace your cheek, before he speaks.

“You’re not ready yet.”

And with that, he turns back to the TV.

You huff, and it's the first time you know exactly what you're doing. You knew from Yoongi what Jungkook did in his freetime- you knew that this stuff was his expertise. Defeated, you looked down towards your knees, as your thoughts start to grow more and more frustrated. He probably didn't even see you like that, having only visited you out of pity, and not because he wanted to see you.

You were probably already friendzoned, and he was too nice to outright say it into your face. It made your emotions turn sour as the situation grew more and more awkward for you.

"What're you thinking about?" He asks, and you don't answer. What was there to say anyways? You really didn't want to have this weird conversation where he would tell you that oh yeah you're a nice girl, but he's not the right guy, the usual stuff you've already heard time and time again. "Y/N." He says, his voice dropping a little, but you only chew on the inside of your cheek again, eyes moving towards the TV screen. You didn't want to talk- you just hoped he would now sigh and get up, leaving so you could forget about all of this. You could maybe fake being sick for the next week or so to avoid him, yeah, that would be enough time to gloss over this entire situation. But he only clicks his tongue, hands suddenly moving your legs as he moves your body to face him.

Looking at his face is your first mistake.

His eyes are dark and almost angry, irritated as he looks as you. His jaw is clenched, and his hands stay on your knees for a moment, before he's sure enough that he has your attention. Only then does he speak, his voice nowhere near as soft and light as it had been before. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't like it." He says, and that's when you make your second mistake.

"Can we not right now? You don't know shit." You say, and he stares you down for a moment, until his head tilts a slight bit, eyes growing predatory as the corners of his lips tilt upwards. It resembles a small smile, yes, but it's not meant to be one. No, the first thing you have to think about is a wolf snarling at you, ready to put his packmate into their place for acting out.

It makes your spine tingle.

"Hm, maybe, but we can be classy about it, no?" He asks, and you scoff, trying to move your legs away from him, as he scans you.

At this point, he can see clearly that you're testing him.

So he gets up promptly, moving you around so you're standing in front of him. His inked hand finds your hair, gripping without mercy as he pulls your head back, your gaze now forced to stay on his as he calmly speaks. "You think I'm not into you like that- and you're as wrong as you could ever get." He says, biting his tongue as to not let a petname slip. He'd love to use them, but he knows that it's not yet time. That would be foul play, in a way; he doesn't want to seduce you.

He wants to make you understand.

"Trust me when I say I'd love to just throw you over my legs to spank that attitude out of you right now." He explains, and you whine- not in pain, but simply as a reaction to his confession. "But you don't know what you're getting yourself into." He continues, and pulls a bit to interrupt your next words. You know that you can get free any second you want to- but for some reason, there's no urge to do so. "You think of this as some game to play, you think of yourself as someone who can take all of it at once, but you don't even get the simplest and most important things about this entire thing." You swallow, as you stay still, finally giving up your fight as he relaxes the grip he still has on you. "Even now, it's not me controlling this situation. Its you." He says, letting go of you as his hands rest on your cheeks, eyes searching for any clues of discomfort. Only when he finds none, does he continue. "I will only ever have as much control over you as you're willing to give to me." He smiles again, this time, warm and comforting. "If you're really willing to do this, we will do this right. You'll have to trust me first, and I'll have to get to know you fully first, before anything else happens. Understood?" He asks.

And you nod.

"Do you know what you just agreed to?" He chuckles, and, shyly, you shake your head.

"See?" He grins, breaking skincontact with you. "You're not ready yet."

His brows furrow when he sees you sitting on the counter, Taehyung talking to you. "What're you doing here?" He asks, and you pout, as Taehyung moves away, not wanting to get involved into anything this time. "Stop that face. We talked about this last week, why're you here now?" He asks, and you tilt your head innocently.

"Maybe I'm here for Yoongi?" You say, and his eyes grow darker for a second, before he composes himself.

"Good try, but he's still off work." He states, and you deflate a bit.

"I just.. wanted to see, I guess." You say, and he smiles a bit impishly.

"Oh? I mean, I have a scene in twenty minutes.." He asks, and internally, you cringe. No, you don't want to see him screw or even touch another woman in the ways you secretly want him to touch you instead. No, you're technically here to maybe talk him into show you at least a little bit. But it doesn't seem like he'll cave in anytime soon, so you sigh out.

"Okay, okay, I'll see you around, I guess." You say, hopping down from the counter before you take a step towards the exit.

"Ah well, I'll drive you home then." He states, and you grow confused as he leans against the counter. "Seeing as my scheduled appointment wants to leave, I have time off." He states, and you skin tingles. "Come on now, before I change my mind." He states, as he walks you outside again, leading you towards his car.

"I didn't mean to turn up so.. I don't know. Sorry." You said, and he gets into the drivers seat, shaking his head.

"I can understand you, trust me." He says, as he starts the engine and drives off. "If you're okay with it, I'd like to get something from my apartment, and then drive to yours." He says, and you tilt your head.

"Why not to the studio, or your place?" You ask, and he nods.

"While those are places I feel comfortable, they're unfamiliar to you. It's best if we start in a place that's comforting and gives you a sense of security." He states, and you nod.

Jungkook, in your eyes, never really seemed as mature as he's acting in those moments. It's as if he switches every time you two change topics; any time this particular one comes up, his mood changing into a serious one. Now, you're not stupid, you know the risks- and of course you had somewhat done your research online about the damages that could occur during all of this. And there's also the not too little chance it really isn't something for you after all- and in a way, that scares you. Because you want jungkook, but what if you don't want.. this?

Instead of voicing that out, you simply keep quiet as he gets out the car, and inside again after fetching what looks like an overnight bag. "You're staying over?" You ask, and he simply throws it on to the backseat.

"Maybe. We'll see." He says, and you don't question him as he drives. "Let's get something to eat. What're you craving?" He asks, as he keeps his attention on the road. He notices how you seem to think, already able to practically see the gears turning inside your head. "Don't think about what I could want. I asked what you want." He says, calmly, and so soft, that you simply let your words out.

"Tae usually get's me food.." You start, and Jungkook nods, as if understanding. You watch him smile a little.

"Let's get some junk food and eat it in the car." He simply states, and you nod, happy that he seemingly really did get what you were trying to say. For you, things like these were almost like rituals- like you and tae getting random icecream just to hurry home every time to not have it melt.

Maybe this would become a memory only for you and Jungkook.

"You're nervous." Jungkook says, speaking out what's obvious. You don't know what he'll do, you're confused whats in his bag- you're nervous, just like he said. "Why is that?" He asks, casually sitting on your bed with you. He had earlier told you not to panic-clean it; he was not there to be impressed. He was simply a visitor for now, nothing more, nothing less. You shrugged. There were a lot of reasons you were nervous. "If you want this to work, I need to have proper communication with you. Guessing will get me nowhere." He says, but his voice is not upset. He's simply informing you.

"I.. don't know what you'll do?" You say, and He smiles, sitting more comfortably, as he shows you his open hands.

"I'm not gonna do anything for the moment." He tells you, and you shrug.

"But wasn't that the plan?" You ask him.

"What would you want me to do then?" He asks instead, not answering your question. He's testing you, he want's to know if you really are aware of everything. He's also not only asking you about what you want him to do to you- but with you, as well. He was unsure if you wanted to romantically involve yourself with him, or simply explore something new at his side.

He's afraid he'd be okay with either, just because its you.

"Are you going to tie me up?" You ask, and Jungkook grins, before he laughs. You're growing shy, unsure, and he instantly makes sure you know he's simply laughing about what you said, not about you. His hand holds yours- and it's weirdly reassuring.

"No, although I can imagine you looking very pretty in that position." He says. "No, come here." He says, lays down on the bed, and you stay where you are, with reasonable distance between you two. "I want you to come as close to me as you feel comfortable. Don't force it- take your time. I'm not expecting anything, please remember that." He tells you calmly, not looking at you to give you mental distance from him as well. His eyes are actually closed, his body relaxed.

You don't move for a moment. You want to test how long he can really play this patient role- but after around five or ten minutes, he's still not moving. He's not even saying anything, and you're unsure if he's asleep or not.

There's only one way to find out.

You carefully lay down a little away from him, on your side, simply looking at him. It's weird to see him like that; you've always imagined him to be a very dominant and demanding person, from what you've heard and seen of him. But Jungkook doesn't feel like any of the guys you've been with; he also doesn't feel like Taehyung, or Yoongi, or Hoseok.. Jungkook, weirdly enough, feels comfortable. He's relaxed, and laid back, and still has that slight glint of power over you.

You move closer, your curiosity getting the best of you as scenes and pictures of him holding you fill your head. Is he even a cuddler? You can't imagine him being all soft and sweet for gestures like that, but then again, you didn't really think you'd ever be in a situation like this either. Maybe you were judging a book by its cover.

He smells nice- that's one of the first things you notice once you get closer. One of his arms is stretched out to the side- his tattooes visible, but partially hidden by his sweater sleeve. You want to look at them, so you test the waters- by touching his arm, just a small poke with your finger. You can see the corners of his lips twitch; he's definitely awake. You move his arm a little, inside facing you as you get a detailed look at his artworks. They're detailed, they fit him, the dark Ink a stark contrast to his skin.

His sweater seems soft.

You slowly lay down again, your head resting on his biceps as you simply lay for a moment.

This is nice.

You feel more and more bold with every minute that passes, not even minding the way he sometimes moves around. You're growing at ease, so much so, that you simply throw all hesitation out of the window, and cuddle up to him. one of your hands is on his chest, while your head rests ontop of the inside of his shoulder.

This is really nice.

"Are you falling asleep?" He asks, voice not loud at all, as his arm moves, palm resting on your forearm as he holds you. You don't mind it- you feel relaxed enough to really actually do fall asleep- so you nod. "That's good." He tells you.

"But didn't you bring stuff to try?" you ask, and Jungkook nods.

"We got time. A small nap is always a good idea." He tells you, and you simply nod- making him smile.

He's glad.

Because by falling asleep on him like that, you don't even know how much you've complimented him at all. You're relaxed enough around him, comfortable enough to let him close to you in a vulnerable state such as sleep. It makes him wonder how far you'd let him go- would you let anyone get so close so quickly? A sudden rush of protectiveness curses through his body, fills him up, as he swears he can't let you go now. No, what if someone else gets you like this? What if someone takes advantage of your open mind like that? He doesn't even want to imagine.

Jungkook really has it bad.

You slowly wake up to a bit of weight on your face. "jungkook what're you doing?" you giggle, and he chuckles as well as he takes the hand away from over your eyes. He looks well rested, with his eyes still not fully open.

"Nothing." He says. "Just teasing." He says, but of course, nothing he does is just random teasing. Everything he does is calculated- it's to test you, to study you, to make sure he gets to know you. "Are you hungry?" He asks instead.

"Not for food."

He has to let that process for a moment, until he laughs. He's really got it with you, he thinks, as he suddenly moves, eyes dark, while he's now ontop of you, his hands holding your wrists. Expecting you to look surprised, he finds none of that however. It intrigues him, the way you don't seem to be nervous or fearful at all. It makes him wonder what you'd really do to him if he was to advance in ways he wanted to. "Careful, sweetheart." He says, and your eyes sparkle with a silent challenge.

"Or what?"

His grip gets a bit tighter at that, eyes a bit darker. "Someone's eager." He says lowly. "Don't you think you're biting off more than you can chew right now?" He asks, before he clicks his tongue, slowly falling into his own headspace. He knows however not to let himself slip. "Give me a random word." He asks, demands, and you say whatever finds your mind in that moment.

"Bunny." You say.

He raises his eyebrow for a second, but doesn't question it. "I want you to say that, loud and clear, as soon as you feel uncomfortable." He lectures you seriously. "It doesn't matter what it is. Physically, or mentally, or if you simply don't want me to continue because. I need you to tell me that you will say it." His gaze is intense, and you nod. "I promise you; I'll never get mad, or upset, or angry, or disappointed with you. My ego isn't worth your safety." He humms out at the end, and your eyes soften.

He notices it instantly, and it affects him more than he'd like to admit.

"I promise I'll say it if I need to." You tell him, and he grows comfortable again.

"Can I touch you?" He asks, softly, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a yes. "Remember; I'll only ever have as much power and control over you as you will give me." He mumbles, head now dipped down to ghost his lips over the skin of your neck. "But once you give it to me-" He says, his knee situating itself in between your legs to spread them in a silent command. "-I won't give it back." He growls, before he bites down, releasing the skin after hearing your delicate mewl, kissing the spot as if to apologize.

He's not sorry.

"Let me ask you.." He says, feeling you rut against his leg that's pressed against your center. "what do you really want from me?" He asks, and you open your eyes, movements slowly coming to a halt as you notice the way he looks at you.

He almost looks uncertain.

"I.." You want him. You know that- you want all of his bad habits and weird quirks. You want to get to know him and everything that comes with it. Hell, he was the main reason you even got into the entire scene in the first place. "You." You say, deciding its best to practice honesty.

"Me?" He asks, genuinely a little confused.

You nod. "Yeah. You." You say. It's a little weird, the whole situation, but you don't mind it. Your hands slowly slip out of his grasp, before they instead intertwine their fingers with his. He feels weirdly caught off guard by the gesture- his past encounters and relationships never having included things like these. So much so, that Jungkook genuinely believed those things to be simple movie-gestures. Overdone, and not realistic. "Like uhm.. if you want to. If you just want to, you know, I.. guess I'd be okay with that too-" You say, looking away, as Jungkook answers.

"I want you too." He answers, eyes searching yours for any glimmer of dishonesty. But he doesn't find it- there is none. There's just you. "I really want you too." He murmurs out, getting closer, before he lets himself loose, his lips finding yours.

He's never been a fan of kissing, but he can very much already imagine kissing you for hours.

Its not just you letting go in that moment, its him too.

Because unbeknownst to you, he's not just opening you a door to his world of unspoken fantasies-

He's also opening his heart as well.

Your first time together is slow and comfortable.

It happens just a day after you had both decided to pursue an actual relationship with one another. He's gentle, careful, but not hesitant. He's exploring.

Inside of his head, he notes down every noise and every twitch of muscle. You sigh as he eats you out, the small ponytail of his unable to hold onto all of his hair as his eyes are partially hidden behind the blonde strands. He's watching you, his fingers having already stretched you out, but then he sits up. You whine, with him having stolen your release for a second time. "Let's play a little, yeah?" He says with an amused yet calm tone. You're already unable to do much about your position; your wrists bound to your bed over your head, carefully tied knots comfortable against your skin, as long as you don't pull. "Legs open." He calls out as you try and close them, and you whine again; testing his patience as you still go ahead and disobey his command. He watches, moves forward, before he pulls them apart again. "You want to cum, no?" He asks, and you nod, frustratedly so. "I wonder what made you think you've earned that reward from me." He tells you, eyes scanning your form as you pull on your restraints a little. He's not fully into his own headspace yet- he's still very much on high alert to notice any signs of discomfort coming from you.

He has to learn just as much as you do.

"You're lucky you're so sweet." He says, before he crawls closer again, his hand on your center, as he enters you with two fingers. Its not enough, but then his thumb draws circles on your clit- and you're approaching, quickly. "Hm? Won't you cum?" And then you say it.

"Can I?"

It's so desperate, so needy, so submissive, that it sends a chill down his spine. He moves closer, kisses your neck, as he can't help but let the rush of it get to him. He is, after all, just as desperate for release. No matter if its his, or yours.

"Such a good girl, of course you can." He tells you. "What a sweet one, such good manners.." He teases playfully, and you tug at your restraints as you come undone under his hands. He unties your wrists and you're holding onto him as soon as you're free, and he lets you hold onto him in your post orgasmic bliss.

Its after a moment that you realize it.

"Wait-" You say, sitting up to look at him. "You- I mean, you didn't get to-" You start, but Jungkook waves it off.

"Its fine, really." He tells you, and you know he's serious. "I'll just wait until it goes down, or take care of it in your bathroom if thats okay with you." He says, patting the side next to him to lay down on. "Come here." He asks, and you comply, before you speak again.

"You.." You start, not looking at him. "Could just take care of it here." You say. "Or I could.." you start, and he looks at you.

"Do you want that, or do you only feel like you have to?" He asks, and you shrug. You take some time, before you answer.

You've seen most of Jungkook until now. From his strong arms, his back, his inked skin, to his thighs and legs. You have seen all- but that. And you've never really considered giving anything back in that way to anyone because of one single embarrassing moment- but with Jungkook, for some reason, you wanted to try.

"I want to." You say, and he nods. "But I don't know how.." You say, and he smiles reassuringly.

"I'll guide you." He tells you, before he scans your face. He's never really felt that desired- at least not in the way he does in that moment with you. "You can take it out for starters." He says, and you nod, before you hesitate a little.

Jungkook is nice, when it comes to that. He's patient, always lets you do the pacing for now, until you trust him enough. This is only the start, after all. You stay cuddled up to his side, but your hand ventures towards his sweats, where you can see his prominent erection still waiting. Slowly, you push the fabric down, both his sweats and boxers underneath- his hips lifting a bit to make it easier for you, until he's freed from his clothes.

You've never really thought much about looks when it came to that department, but Jungkook was, in each and every way, highly attractive. Now you knew, that there was literally nothing about him you didn't desire.

Your first touches are a little hesitant, testing the waters, and Jungkook tries not to react too much to it to give you time. Its when you start to move your hand however, that he closes his eyes, head now completely resting on the pillows beneath as he just decides to enjoy what you might give him. His hips twitch upwards a little after you'd run your thumb over the head, precum glistening while your hand uses it as lubricant to move more smoothly.

He sighs out.

And you grow bold at that, moving to sit up and escape out of his embrace, before you dip down to feed your curiosity. As your tongue touches his skin, his muscles contract, the action not expected since he didn't look what you were doing. You've been told once before that you're not.. the best at this- but Jungkook made you want to try. If you would've looked, you would've spotted the intense stare that Jungkook had been sending your way; mesmerized by the way you tucked your hair behind your ear oh so sweetly, before you let a drop of saliva escape from between your lips, taking him in soon after it had dropped onto his awaiting length.

You really were something else.

He'd gotten head time and time before, and it was never something he didn't like- but he'd also rarely ever cared that much emotionally about the person giving it to him. It's weird, how an emotional connection can make you so much more sensitive to things- such as in that moment, as your tongue moved over his skin while inside your warm mouth, lips heavenly on his cock.

He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be inside you.

There's nothing he could teach you, nothing he could tell you to do, as you moved, sucked and licked. He was breathing heavily already, his hand finding yours as you hold onto it. He sits up, can't help it, has to somehow touch you while you're not letting go of your task. His palm escapes your hand, rests on your head instead, runs through your hair before it grips a little. You moan, vibrations making him throw his head back as he groans out, feeling his end coming closer. "If you don't want to swallow, let go." He grits out, but you suck harder instead, and its when your hand finds his balls that he lets himself fall back onto the mattress beneath, shooting his load into your mouth as you swallow it down.

He's on cloud nine.

You're thoughtful enough to pull his underwear and pants back up, laying on your stomach next to him, waiting, watching, with impish eyes. He looks so radiant, so relaxed, so at ease. It fills you with a weird sense of pride; since in a way, its your doing. "Why did you tell me you don't know how to do that." He comments, rather than asks, slowly calming his breathing back down. His eyes open, hand pushing some hair out of your face. "Thank you. That was amazing." He says, and you shrug.

"Thanks for the compliment." You say, looking at him.

"I have a request." He says, and you nod. "Not like that." He teases, making you blush. "No, but seriously." Jungkook knows that you've been with other people before. It scares him to know that some of your experiences might not have been good- he knows some absolute horror stories Taehyung had told him. "I want you to take all that you've experienced with your former partners.. all those moments, emotions, bad memories, all of it." He tells you, hand now resting on your cheek- a gesture in which you lean into. "And throw them away. Forget them." He tells you.

"This is a new start, for both of us."

"How many clients have you been with?" You ask, casually sitting on the kitchen counter as Jungkook washes the dishes. Its your first night in his apartment, and you're more comfortable than you thought you'd be.

"None." He tells you, and you're ready to snort out a laugh, but he doesn't look at all like he's joking. Seeing your confusion, he continues while scrubbing a plate. "None of us actually have sex with our clients. Some only come to talk, really- others come to let go." He explains, and you nod. "I've never touched, nor been with someone intimately during a scene." He tells you.

"So you had scenes with your partners then?" You ask, and he shrugs.

"In the beginning, yeah." He admits, shrugging. "But I eventually gave up on it. It's not something a lot of people find very appealing. It all looks great in theory, but when practiced, most find its not for them." Draining the sink, he dries his hands on the dish towel, before putting it in its proper place.

"Could you.. imagine a relationship without it?" You ask, and he sighs, shaking his head.

"Not really." He looks at you after a moment. "Its who I am, and its how I love. I can't change that." He tells you, and you nod. Its understandable really, and you like that he has clear lines he likes to follow. It's weirdly comforting to know that he has his life so under control- its all you've ever wanted really.

It's something Jungkook might be able to give you.

It was weird, the feeling of the rope against your skin. He’d been right about it earlier; it wasn’t rough or itchy at all. But maybe that was just because it was him doing it. Maybe he was simply fogging up your senses.

It would make sense.

“Okay?” He humms out, voice gentle and calm while he stops his hands for a moment, palm on your shoulder where it warms up your skin. You’re unsure what okay really means- okay like, he’s finished? Or is he asking if you’re okay? Or is he asking for permission? “Speak to me- don’t just think.” He says, eyes watching you in such a manner that made your slightly trembling body calm down.

“I’m not sure what- what you mean by, okay.” You say, and he smiles, eyes roaming over your body for a moment, but surprisingly not in a way that would make you feel exposed. You’re almost naked, after all- only your most private parts hidden from his sight. You can see the very evident tent in his pants; but he doesn’t seem like he’s frustrated or fazed about it.

“Good Job telling me.” He says first and foremost, and you start to feel warm inside. “I was asking if you were okay. Do you remember your colors?” He asks, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a ‘yes’. He nods again, a hand running over your head, fingers running through your hair affectionately. “Good. I’ll finish the last knots now- remember you can stop at any time. Don’t hesitate.” He says, and you nod.

He grabs the rope again; the tiny fact that he’d chosen one in your favorite color making you feel.. well, you didn’t know. You could feel your nose sting, before it shot into your eyes, making them water; something that Jungkook immediately noticed. “Color?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“Green, Green, I’m okay-“ you say, but you can’t stop the tears. He’s quick to sit down in front of you after tying the last knot- and it’s the first time you quietly look at them. They’re so delicate, so well done, but there’s no time to dwell on it as he lifts you chin gently.

“Talk to me.” He says, hands on your shoulders to give you some sense of stability. You’re safe, you don’t feel bad, but just..

“I don’t know. There’s so much-“ you begin, and he softly smiles, as if you’re not currently completely bound with no chance of proper movement. You take a deep breath, holding it before you release again, silently following the advices he’d given you prior. “Why do I feel so.. comfortable? I feel safe even though I’m in such a dangerous situation- I’m.. this is weird isn’t it, I should be.. I don’t know. Why’re you not doing anything? Wasn’t this supposed to be like, a sex session or something I don’t get it-“ you babble, and he lets you, before he speaks.

“You still don’t quite get it, do you?” He asks, and your glistening eyes stare up at him. “I don’t need something as simple as sex to feel satisfied.” He explains, and you nod, even though you don't quite understand. "I feel euphoric right now, even though you probably won't quite believe me." He says, his smile evident as his fingers trace the knots on your skin. It's there that you see it; the glimmer in his eyes, something you've never seen before with someone else. "The fact that you let me do this, it's all I need." He humms out. He looks at you, a silent question, and you take a deep breath.

You don't quite know what you're doing. Its weird- but seeing him like that makes you feel weightless. It happens slowly, you don't quite grasp what it is, but the feeling is nice. It's like letting go- like standing on the highest platform of the universe and just jumping down. And when you open your eyes, all you see is him.

He can't take his eyes off of you.

He's seen it often enough to spot it, knows what it looks like, but it still holds such a deep meaning to him to see you fall into your subspace for the very first time. You're so beautiful like that, so ethereal and enchanting as you lean forward to get closer to him. He's careful you dont accidentally hurt yourself with the big scissors on the bed close by- emergency equipment to release you asap if needed.

He knows escape is the furthest thing on your mind right now.

Able to do anything he'd want with you, he's not like that however. He's responsible enough to let you float for a moment, before he speaks to you again. "Baby?" He asks, and you nod, nuzzling his shoulder as he holds you close. "You're doing so good. Can you do something for me baby?" He questions again, and you nod, not parting from him however before he talks again. "Can you sit straight for a moment? Just like that, good girl." He praises as you instantly follow his command. "I got you, okay? I got you, you're safe." He repeats, as he slowly unties your body. It's careful reassuring and slow movements that make it possible to untie you- too quickly could make you drop; a state of sudden shift in mental state, that could send you straight into distress. Jungkook doesn't ever want to be the cause of that for you.

You're underneath him, and he's careful, as he undresses after placing the scissors onto the bedside table where it cant lead to any accidents. He also reaches inside the table, pulling out a condom from a box safely stored, before he gets himself ready.

Not even for a second is his attention not on you however.

"Hands up baby." He commands, and you do as he wants, already squirming as he advances towards you, fingers stretching you out as you grow huffy at the prospect of being edged again. He's quick to catch on though. "Hm, I'm not gonna be mean baby." He tells your fuzzy mind. "But I gotta get you ready, no?" Fingers steadily helping you relax, he waits until he deems you ready.

You struggle to keep your hands up as he enters you, but your mind is adamant on keeping his command. He groans out, kisses your neck, as he slowly begins to move lazily. It's enough for pleasure- but not enough to make you cum. "Good fucking girl. Look at you. My baby." He chants, and something inside you stirs at the last words.

His Baby.

You're his.

He wants you.

It makes you whine as he chuckles, nipping at your skin. "You can touch me baby, good job." He says, and your hands are instantly around his neck. You're mumbling something, but its not words. It's not coming out the way you think it does, and Jungkook doesn't mind, doesn't care. Its another one of those things fueling him up, urging him on.

You're his perfect puzzle piece.

He lets go.

"Turn around princess." He says breathless, and you follow his instructions eagerly. His hand rests on the back of your neck for a moment, leaves its place for a second to move your hair away from your face, before he gently pushes down. He's inside in a heartbeat, this time thrusting with more strength.

Something overcomes him that hasn't happened before.

Usually, this position is what he loves most- and yet, it's not what he wants. He wants you, he wants you close, he cant touch you enough. His arms snake around your torso, just underneath the bottom of your breasts, as he pulls you towards him. Your back arches so prettily, and he gasps out, breathing heavy as he continues his attack on your neck. "You're mine." He growls out, can't keep it inside anymore, his grip on you tightening. "Mine." His thrusts stutter, his hand reaches for your center, desperate fingers helping you find your release. It coats your thighs, stains the bed, and he pushes himself as deep as he can once he finishes himself.

He's breathing heavily, he's out of his mind, running on autopilot as his hands still hold you. He pulls out after a moment, a whine from you getting reassured by his own voice, before he leaves the bed, getting a warm damp washcloth ready for you. He's careful, gentle, seems to caress your skin more than clean it, places kisses every now and then and sends praises your way.

"How do you feel?" He asks, voice low and caring as he continues his aftercare.

"Like you love me a lot." You sleepily say, eyes still foggy, and he smiles.

"Good." He tells you, reaching out to kiss your lips, still high on his own afterglow. "That's how you're always supposed to feel like."

"I've quit." He tells you one night on the couch, as you sit close to him. You'd asked him about his sidejob at Yoongi's- and this was his answer. Instantly, you sit up straight, fearing that he might've felt obligated because of you. "Before you start, yes, it was because of you." He says, and you already have the whine in your throat- but it doesn't make it out, as his fingers lazily trace your collarbone peaking out from his shirt you're wearing. "But it was also my decision. I just didn't enjoy it anymore- and you're more I could ever want really." He says, shrugging as you stare at him.

It was still new to you.

Although you knew that he was probably more than just a wild loverboy collecting partners and gaming all day, you never would've thought of him like this. He's a kid at heart still, teasing and playfighting every now and then- but he's mostly a strong shoulder to lean on for you. He really is the security and safety you'd always searched for. "What're you thinking about?" He asks, pulling you closer as he continues watching the TV show.

"You." You say, and he chuckles.

"Cute." He answers. He looks at you for a moment, TV long forgotten, before you crawl over his lap, shirt rising enough to give him free view of your thighs and panties. You've skipped the pants tonight- a habit of yours he enjoys a lot. His palms instantly find the soft skin, running along the outside of your thighs before they find your behind, squeezing, before he slaps it playfully. He grins as you squeal, admiring the way the very tips of your ears turn red. "You're really precious, you know that?" He tells you, and you shrug. "You are." He confirms, and you smile shyly.

"May I kiss you?" You ask, and he smiles warmly.

"We're not in a scene baby, do as you wish." He tells you, and you nod, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. Its a feeling you can't quite get enough of, and it seems like he enjoys it equally as much. His inked hands find their way underneath your shirt, running over your back and spine as you shudder. He doesn't find what he seeks, your underwear long gone and left in the bedroom, and he loves it, instantly moves to your chest where he finds the soft flesh, his thumb running over one of your nipples teasingly. You're arching your back already, moving around as if you can't sit still. "My baby." He mumbles out, "If you can be so kind and get me a condom, you can ride me if you want to." He tells you, and you nod.

By now you easily know your way around his apartment.

So its no wonder you quickly return from your now shared bedroom, condom in hand as you approach him again, settling onto his lap. You're not shy with him nor his body anymore, eagerly taking the condom out of the package for him to roll it down onto his length. "You good?" He asks, and you nod, pulling your panties aside as you slowly sink down on him.

He lets his head rest back on the couch, and you lean into him, for a change returning the favor of kissing his neck. He's grinning, throughoutly enjoying things, and you love watching him. It's a visual reminder to yourself that this is your doing. You're making him feel that way, and no one else. It makes you confident, and it makes you feel cherished in ways you haven't felt before.

Once you start to move, Jungkooks hands help you along. Its slow and lazy, not at all hurried. There's no real goal; you probably wouldn't even mind not cumming at all. This was just being close- a way of feeling connected in the most intimate of ways. Connected like only lovers could be.

You love him.

And it slips out as a tiny 'I love you' in between your sighs and gasps, and he hears it so clearly, he can't help himself but speed up the pace.

"I love you too." He chants out, kissing the side of your head as you rest against his chest, head on his shoulder. "I love you so much." He says, almost inaudible, his arms holding you as close as he can.

Jeon Jungkook doesn't need sex to feel satisfied.

But he will most certainly need you for now and forever.

And he's totally fine with that.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. You know the drill. I know where you live. I don't. But still. Be scared. Boo.

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions #Rabbit Boy AU

[astrologyandlife]

the sun sign + our relationship with our father

traditionally in astrology, the sun is said to represent the father figure and how we perceive him. the sign it sits in, the house it occupies, and the aspects it makes to other points in our charts sheds light on the role he plays in our life and his influence on who we are as people.

aries: there is a huge push from their father to try new things, step out of their comfort zone, and be a leader, and it's rare for him to take no for an answer about anything. he is always challenging them in the hopes that they will grow as people. he can be seen as a bit aggressive or pushy.

taurus: the father is a source of stability and security to this child, who feels that they can rely on him even in times of chaos or great change. they feel that he is unchanging and maybe even a bit stubborn at times. i think it's common for the father to show affection through gift giving or acts of service.

gemini: this is a father that has a particular sense of humor and the bond is built primarily on communication and conversation. i'm sure he likes to joke and tease, and when these individuals are upset, he tries to cheer them up. there is usually some form of detachment from the father figure here.

cancer: these individuals perceive their father to be caring and compassionate, able to understand and meet their needs often without them saying it. while he may or may not be openly emotional, he is protective of them and shows care and thoughtfulness to them.

leo: the father in this case has a huge personality and an ego to match. he can be described as dramatic or larger-than-life, and he encourages his children to express themselves as they are. he may be seen as very fun-loving and a risk-taker. he is extremely warm and generous, and maybe seems like a big kid or a kid at heart.

virgo: with this sun sign, there can be a perception of constant criticism from their father. arguments about what to think or how to do things may be common, which can be frustrating. he tries his best to be helpful and shows he cares through acts of service like doing small chores for them. libra: usually the relationship is positive and free of conflict, as the father is not particularly assertive. he may be viewed as passive-aggressive and a bit superficial in some cases. the father may seem more like a friend than a dad. they may feel like they can't bring up serious issues or risk rocking the boat. scorpio: this can very much indicate a father who is extremely mysterious or private, so the person feels like they don't know him super well. he could be a quiet man or just very secretive. usually the relationship between him and the individual is very intense, and they may feel very protective of him or vice versa. sagittarius: the father is viewed as a free spirit who sort of goes where he wants. he encourages the individual to grow as a person, experience life for themselves, and try new things. he may also seem very self-righteous and frequently bring up political/religious issues, insisting on being right. capricorn: their father pushes them to be successful and to make a name for themselves, placing specific emphasis on their future early in their childhood. this individual feels that they have huge shoes to fill here, and they look up to or fear their father. he may be relatively strict or have specific rules.

aquarius: these individuals definitely think their father is weird and unorthodox. he simply doesn't care what others think of him, and he encourages the same from them. he may have unusual habits or ways of doing things that he passes to his child. often there's some sort of emotional disconnect or detachment from the father.

pisces: the father may be absent in the individual's life in some way, either physically or emotionally. the person feels like they don't really "know" him. another potential is that he sets few rules and boundaries. as a result, his influence is weak, which can leave the individual feeling vulnerable throughout life.

[timetravelingsherlockian]

Isaac as Minor Antagonist -- Queer Ambiguity or Main Character Perk?

CBS Ghosts' Isaac is both the show's most prominent queer character and perhaps the most likely of the main cast to be an antagonist. He has a habit of lying, second only to the show's main character, Sam. Is this moral ambiguity a holdover from queer-coded villains of the past? Or an artifact of his flexibility as a main character?

Firstoff -- I *love* Isaac. He, along with Pete and Alberta, is my favorite character from this show. As far as I'm concerned, the only flaw this gay disaster (affectionate) has is his dislike of D&D.

But -- Re-re-(re-)watching this show, I realized: Of the re-occurring characters Isaac is one of the most likely to be narratively positioned as a minor antagonist. What does this look like? Isaac is one of the most frequent re-occurring characters to 1) make a decision that 2) creates conflict that 3) characters must solve by the conclusion of the episode.

What this post is not: This is not a critique of Isaac's "camp" or "flamboyant" mannerisms, OR of how he is portrayed verbally in the show (e.g. gay jokes). That is a different essay. (Honestly, a bunch of his charm as a character comes from these elements, and Brandon Scott Jones, his actor, is queer himself and acts similarly-flamboyant when not playing Isaac (x), so I'm inclined to treat these as just aspects of the character -- like Captain Jack Harkness' hypersexuality -- that you take or leave, I suppose.)

I am also presuming that the show writes Isaac in good faith. This assumption is not a requirement for this post or argument, but, rather, shows my own hand as the analyst.

I am also not presuming that any of his actions are "out of character." It is the first 10 episodes of the first season of an American sitcom; at this point, it's character development. If it happened on-screen, it happened, and it counts.

I am not comparing this to BBC's Ghosts. That is a different show.

Since I'll be (re)watching the episodes anyways...

I will be comparing Isaac to other main characters for each episode to see: 1) who was the minor antagonist (if any re-occurring character)? 2) What "bad" things did Isaac do (vs. other characters; think of this as a Cinema Sins tally of Isaac, if you will)? 3) Did any other characters have worse (or comparable) behavior? 4) Who Spurred the "bad" behavior?

Results are below the cut.

Spoiler alert.

Pilot

Episode Conflicts: Sam v. Ghosts; Jay v. Carl (gas station attendant); Sam v. Jay

Rap Sheet:

- Isaac is the one who expounds upon the potential consiquences of a hotel, convincing Thor that the hotel is bad.

- Plans haunting (not counting this one -- self-defense & part of general Captain duties).

- Walks through Jay, which begins argument b/t Sam & Jay. (Note: Jay ignores the other two hauntings.)

Other characters --

- Alberta seems willing to drop Sam & Jay off a bridge with their feet encased in concrete.

- Trevor proposes haunting plan.

Summary: While Isaac coordinates the Haunting, Jay is the minor antagonist (reticent to create the hotel), and Trevor *accidently* kills Sam. Verdict: He's innocent, your honor.

Hello

Episode Conflicts: Sam v. her sanity; Ghosts v. Sam; Ghosts v. Jay; Hetty's beauty rest v. Flower; Isaac v. Hamilton (one-sided)

Rap Sheet:

+ Isaac opens up "diplomacy" as an option.

Other characters --

- Trevor again is the strategist, proposing the plan to annoy Sam to the negotiating table.

- Thorfinn is still violent in this one ("Chop their legs off! Hang them from trees!").

Summary: Conflicts are largely driven by Sam & Jay's belief that ghosts don't exist. Verdict: Isaac's still innocent in this one.

Viking Funeral

Episode Conflicts: Isaac v. Alberta; Isaac v. Alberta v. Creepy Dirk; Hetty v. Suffrage; Thorfinn v. shame of abandonment; Thor v. metaphysical reasons for remaining a ghost; Thorfinn's bones v. American Human Remains laws; Jay's consciousness v. financial pressures

Rap Sheet:

- Strategically belittles Alberta's qualifications to run against him.

- Isaac agrees with Hetty that women shouldn't vote, for strategic advantage.

- Isaac catalyzes the downstairs Cholera Ghosts to vote (to thwart Alberta).

Other Characters --

- Sam blatantly lies that the ghosts support her decision to refurbish the fountain. First major instance of Sam lying on the ghosts' behalf in the series. (Isaac: "Bravo! Bravo! Well done!")

- Alberta catalyzes Sam & Jay to get rid of the bones.

- Alberta decides to run against Isaac (Conflict: either +1 minor antagonist point to Alberta OR Alberta's the Hero against Isaac's Status Quo).

- Jay does the blatantly criminal act of unturing Thor's bones (with his permission).

Other Notes --

- Isaac's candidacy is positioned as The White Male (v. Alberta).

- Isaac's classism and pettiness are also in full force ("those dirty filthy ignorant commoners").

- Isaac's "dirty tricks" (his words) ultimately thwart himself (as Creepy Dirk takes the plurality vote). While he champions Democracy, he himself concedes to Alberta's moral superiority. Being thwarted by your own "dirty tricks" is the mark of a classic villain.

- Sam doesn't even acknowledge her lie or the problems it caused in this one. Points to Isaac for being the bigger person.

Summary: The gang gets up to a lot of shit in this one, and Isaac's "dirty tricks" are thwarted by female empowerment and his own tactics. While his actions are largely reactionary to Sam, there is a lesson to be had. But Sam, unlike Isaac, gets away with it. Sam also has no conceptualization of construction project management. Verdict: Alberta's Minor Antagonist.

Moral of the Story: Do ranked-choice voting.

Dinner Party

Episode Conflicts: Woodstones v. Farnsbys; Jay v. Sam (Jay's cookie lies); Jay v. Ghosts (spies); Hetty (& Thor & Alberta & Isaac) v. Trevor (& Flower & Pete)

Rap Sheet:

+ No violations here. Caught the carriagehouse zoning violation.

Other characters --

- Hetty forbids Trevor (& everyone not Thor, Alberta, or Isaac) from attending.

- Thor's doing most of Hetty's henching this episode.

- Pete, Flower, & Trevor incite a kerfuffle mid-party. While Alberta joins in, Isaac is notably absent in adding to the commotion.

Summary: The ensemble cast is showing. The Farnsby's are *evil*, and Hetty's got minor antagonist spot. Verdict: Isaac is the plot's +1; catalyst, not an antagonist.

Halloween

Episode Conflicts: Kids v. Woodstone Mansion; Kids v. Ghosts; Kids v. Sam & Jay; Thorfinn v. Gazebo; Ghosts v. Sam & Jay (avoiding revoking TV privileges).

Rap Sheet:

- Lies about setting fire to the gazebo.

- Ropes Thor, Hetty, and Sas into lying too. -- Framing innocent children. (Thank Someone for Alberta.)

- Attempts to beguile Pete over to "their side" (vs. "good" -- self-admitted), turning Pete's values against him.

- Proceeds to try to wheedle his way out of the punishment he incited.

Summary: This ghost gets busted. Verdict: Isaac's the secondary antagonist.

Pete's Wife

Episode Conflicts: Carol's lies v. Pete's feelings; Jay's sci-fi wisdom v. Sam's best intentions; Thor's callousness regarding solo-watching It's Getting Hot in Here v. Sas' feelings; Thor's inability to apologize v. Sas' feelings.

Rap Sheet:

+ Isaac doesn't have much to do in this one. He's a bit nit-picky about Pete's "so-called wife", but he tries to be a supportive friend about Carol/Jerry ("If it means anything, I would completely understand if Beatrice [his wife] ended up with my best mate, Edward.")

Summary: Isaac stayed out of trouble in this one. Verdict: +1 to trying to be a supportive friend.

Flower's Article

Episode Conflicts: Sam v. Flower; Flower v. shame of not living up to her own ideals; Sam v. Editor's choosiness; Flower v. Alberta's & Isaac's curiosity

Rap Sheet:

- "Sam, you must write this article."*

- Isaac tag-teams Alberta's interrogation.

- "What if you were to tell us your deep dark secret so we can steer Sam as far away from it as possible?"

- Begins giving excuses for his and Alberta's interest.

+ "I was never at the Boston Teaparty."

*Note. He and Alberta later say this was obviously bad advice. They were just bored. Jay proposes this first.

Other characters --

- Sam pitches Flower's bank robbery story despite Flower's adamant objection.

- Jay says Flower will never know if Sam goes through with it.

- Alberta decides she needs to find Flower's secret.

- Jay proposes the ghosts gathering information for Sam; Isaac expounds.

- Alberta begins interrogating Flower.

- Sam says Isaac & Alberta advised her to write the article. (pawns off responsibility; incomplete truth)

Summary: Isaac's drug into this mess by Jay, Sam, & Alberta. While he does initially say "Sam, you must write this article," Sam proposed the article and Jay encourages her into going for it. Isaac & Alberta later agree that they gave terrible advice. Isaac continues to clean up his messes. The true antagonist was inside you all along. Verdict: Isaac's henching again.

D&D

Episode Conflicts: Isaac v. Nigel (murder); Isaac v. Nigel (betrayal); Isaac v. Isaac's fear of rejection; Sam v. her fear of disapointing Jay; Jay v. Internet connection.

Rap Sheet:

- Forbids handwashing. Yes, he's trying to save fresh water. Yes, he does pay for it. Still. A public health nightmare.

- Literally shoots a man (it was an accident, but he designed a gun without a thought to gun safety, which is A Bad).

- Failed to tell said man for >250 years (this is just bad practice).

+ Note. I'm not counting the fight b/c that was in home defense.

- Dislikes D&D (Note. He, Sam, and Nigel are the only characters to dislike the game. This is, in my opinion, his greatest character flaw.)

Summary: This is Isaac's episode, so I'm dis-inclined to count this one. Still. Shoots his love interest and fails to mention it. Forbids handwashing. And Dislikes D&D. Verdict: -1 for the handwashing. -1000000000 for the D&D. The monster.

Alberta's Fan

Episode Conflicts: Todd v. propriety & boundries ("Todd, you creeping nut!"); Alberta's pride v. Isaac's pride; Thorfinn's desire for connection v. Hetty's propriety & memory problems; Jay v. Jay's squeamishness; Todd v. strychnine; Pete v. Progress

Rap Sheet:

- "Alberta? You're down here? I could've sworn I just saw you upstairs...Nope! That was merely your visage, on a 35-year-old man's back! My mistake!"*

( ...the very next scene... )

+ "I was just having fun. I apologize. I'm sorry." *comforts friend*

*Note. Isaac's the only character that antagonizes Alberta regarding Todd.

Other Characters --

- Todd. Just. Todd.

Summary: Isaac's a bit of a dick in this one. Verdict: not the antagonist. Just a dick. Who then apologizes. I'll call this one henching.

Possession

Episode Conflicts: Ghosts v. Hetty; Jay v. Hetty ("I'm literally being colonized from the inside-out!"); Davinport v. Woodstone residents; Hetty's obligations v. Hetty's desires; Hetty v. The Irish; Jay v. pigeons; Jay v. Electrician's tardiness

Rap Sheet:

+ "Isaac would know what to do!"

+ "We're happy to have you back."

Note. Isaac gets to be the episode's exposition expert for possession & Hetty's support.

Other characters --

- Hetty takes over Jay's body (& doesn't negotiate!)

- Hetty does ... everything.

- Flower drugs Davinport with ... herself.

- Sam lied to Hetty to get her upstairs for the exorcism.

Summary: Technically Davinport is the main antagonist (story ends when he's satisfied), and Hetty is the Hero (Cheeto dust), but Hetty is an incredibly effective secondary antagonist. Verdict: Isaac nearly solved this one. Thank Someone for Hetty driving through the barriers.

My Takeaway:

Stats

By Episode

Minor Antagonist: 2/10

Henchman: 2/10

Catalyst: 1/10

Hero: 1/10

Other: 4/10

In Pie Form:

Isaac is equally likely to be a bystander as instigate or exacerbate the show's conflict. He is twice as likely to exacerbate the show's conflict than solve it. He is equally likely to be a minor antagonist OR henchman as he is to be the solution.

By Character

Isaac: 2

Jay: 1

Hetty: 3

Flower: 1

Sam: 1

Alberta: 0

Pete: 0

Sasappis: 1

Thorfinn: 0

Trevor: 0

Other: 1

In Pie Form:

Note. Hetty is the most-likely to be a Secondary/Minor antagonist per episode. Isaac is second-most-likely.

*The former chart counts "D&D" as the Hero, and the latter counts Sam as the Minor Antagonist. (Though the primary conflicts are a) Isaac's cowardess, b) Nigel's anger.)

Hetty

Minor Antagonist: 4/11

Henchman: 1/11

Catalyst: 0/11

Hero: 1/11

Other: 5/11

Note. Hetty shares Secondary/Minor antagonist role with Isaac in "Viking Funeral" (obstacle for Alberta; hence "4" instead of "3"). "Possession" is counted twice -- once as Minor Antagonist, and once as Hero (Hetty removes herself from Jay and adds the secret ingredient of Cheeto dust).

Hetty's most likely to be doing nothing for the narrative, but still more than twice as likely to be exacerbating the conflict than solving it. If Alberta & Flower weren't in the narrative, this would be a real blow for feminism.

TL;DR:

As a Meatloaf song once said, Good ghosts go to Heaven / Bad ghosts go everywhere. Isaac is less a villain than an adherent to improv's yes, and rule.

While Hetty is more likely (by 1 episode) to be the secondary antagonist, Isaac is still twice as likely to exacerbate the conflict than to solve it, and equally likely to be the secondary antagonist than to help solve the conflict.

In regards to his lying -- The only episode where Isaac lies before Sam lies is "Halloween" (she lies to cover up Isaac's lies from the police); all other significant fibs followed Sam lying for her own benefit. And in all significant instances of Isaac lying, he faces consiquences. (unlike Sam)

Is this queer-coded villainy? You decide.

I would put Isaac's portrayal as queer engagement.

#cbs ghosts #ghosts cbs #Isaac #Isaac Higgintoot #Captain Isaac Higgintoot #spoilers #in this essay i will #analysis #queer coded villain #character analysis #long post #really long post #seriously this is an essay #this potentially doubles as a series review #it's way too late to put more editing into this #i hope you like the charts #brought to you by microsoft powerpoint and 10 years of tumblr queerbating analysis #my writing

[incorrectstevebucky]

Captain America the First Avenger but with Full Stucky Goggles

Okay but Steve and Bucky’s relationship mirrors a romantic relationship from the very first movie. 

In the First Avenger movie after Steve gets the serum and is made to tour instead of fight, he gives up on ever being able to fight or make a difference. Then he finds out Bucky has been captured and he goes from this:

to this:

and he runs to Phillip’s:

and asks him for just “one name: Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th. B-A-”

When Phillip’s tells him that name does sound familiar and was on the list of the presumed deceased. He then immediately runs to the show tent, grabs his props, and decides to go on a one man rescue mission. 

Peggy: Your friend is most likely dead

Steve: You don't know that

Peggy: Do you plan to walk to Austria?

Steve: If that’s what it takes.

When he arrives and rescues the men, he says he’s looking for a Sergeant James Barnes and asks the Howlies if there’s anywhere else someone might be and they respond by telling him that some of them get taken away but no ones ever come back from there.

He then tells the Howlies how to get out and what to do before leaving to go find Bucky. They even ask him if he’s sure and knows what he’s doing and he responds by joking that he’s punched Hitler over 200 times. 

Again, despite other people’s concerns he prioritizes Bucky (despite all signs pointing to Bucky most likely being dead). 

He runs into Zola and starts to chase him before being distracted by hearing mumbling and going in to find Bucky strapped to a table.

This is Steve’s face when he starts to free Bucky and leans over him and says “It’s me. It’s Steve.”

and this is Bucky’s face:

which goes from confusion to the biggest smile when he realizes that Steve came for him. This also somewhat mirrors the winter soldier Hellicarrier scene since Bucky has clearly been drugged with the way hes slurring, his eyes are glassy, and all he can say is his name and serial number but the minute he sees Steve its like he starts coming back to life.

After Steve gets him off the table he EVEN SAYS “I thought you were dead” with so much relief in his voice

Phillip’s told Steve Bucky was on the list of dead soldiers, Peggy told him Bucky was most likely dead, the Howling Commandoes told him that no one has ever come back from the labs alive, even STEVE HIMSELF had doubts about whether or not Bucky was alive and HE STILL HAD TO GO LOOKING FOR HIM.

And then Bucky, who had be tortured for days and is exhausted and in pain, asks Steve if getting the serum hurt him. Even half dead his main concern is Steve.

Then obviously they run into the Red Skull and Zola and the building starts to blow up. Bucky manages to get across to safety but the bar breaks, trapping Steve. 

This is Bucky’s face when he realizes the bar broke and Steve’s stuck.

Bucky tells him there has to be a rope somewhere to which Steve tells him to get to safety

and Bucky responds by saying that he’s not leaving without Steve

The interesting here is that Steve was fully expecting and preparing to die but realizes that Bucky won’t leave unless Steve leaves too.

It doesn't show well in pictures, but Steve is clearly reluctant to jump and only does so because he knows that Bucky won’t leave without him (also just the fact that Bucky was fully prepared to die in a burning factory despite being able to leave just because he can’t leave Steve).

Fast forward a little bit, and Bucky and Steve rejoin the other soldiers and make their way back to camp.

Steve talks to Phillips and reunites with Peggy and just as Steve and Peggy start flirting Bucky yells out “Lets hear it for Captain America”.

There’s been a lot of meta about this scene but the gist of it is that when Steve looks to Bucky, Bucky smiles at him but as soon as Steve turns away his smile starts to falter.

The best explanation I’ve seen for Bucky’s feelings in this scene is that he used to be only one who saw all of Steve’s qualities and potential and everything that made him special but now the rest of the world sees it too and Steve isn't only his anymore (and also he yelled out right then because he was jealous of  Steve paying attention to Peggy more than him).

Then we move to the bar scene where Steve recruits the commandos. After the commandos agree to join him, Steve goes to ask Bucky if he’s ready to “follow Captain America into the jaws of death” (interesting to note, Bucky would be eligible to go home since he was drafted and because he was a POW, but Steve doesn’t even ask, there’s a general expectation between the two that wherever Steve goes Bucky follows). Bucky also tells Steve here that he’s not following Captain America but the friend he’s always followed. 

He then jokingly asks Steve if he can keep the outfit. This part was interesting because before he complained about the outfit and about having everything he ever wanted but that he now has to wear tights.

This next part was when Peggy comes in. Bucky’s reaction is interesting and something someone else analyzed really well before but the gist of it is that Bucky’s reaction is basically jealousy.

His fists and jaw is clenched and what’s more interesting is that the song playing in this part is called “There is Tavern in the Town”. Here’s the good analysis by stevebucks.

Moving on, we have Steve getting the SHIELD and other Captain America stuff from Howard Stark and he then hands him his “ideas” for the suit. The suit design, that he hated before,  is the same as the one Bucky asked if he was keeping.

We then see Steve, Bucky, and the commandos storming Hydra bases before finally coming to the train mission. Fun fact: After Steve says “Now why would I do that?”, the original script had Steve call him a punk and then Bucky respond with Jerk, calling back to the beginning of the movie.

We then have them land on the train and they end up getting separated by doors and a robot man. They’re super in sync through the fight and we have the sad moment where Steve and Bucky again take turns rescuing each other. Steve first protects Bucky with the shield and then Bucky protects Steve with the shied. 

Obviously, we know what happens next. After Bucky falls, Steve ends up at the same bar they were at a few months ago when he recruited the Howling Commandos. (As a side note, of all the depressing things that happen to him, Steve looks saddest at Bucky’s death)

Peggy tries to console Steve by telling him that Bucky chose to follow him and that he should respect his choice and to honor his death (side note: this scene was supposed to be Steve and Phillips originally which may be why it seems a bit callous). 

Steve also comments here that he “won’t stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured”. This is very far from where he was before Bucky’s death when his thing wasn’t revenge but just to do the right thing. Bucky’s death makes his fight personal, it’s what makes him become and Avenger.

Bucky was the reason Steve wanted to specifically join the 107th, Bucky was the reason Steve went from a chorus girl to  Captain America, and Bucky was the reason Steve’s fight became personal and what made him into an Avenger. 

Bucky is the catalyst behind Steve’s biggest character developments in the movie and Bucky and Steve’s relationship is the main emotional and humanizing aspect in this and the rest of the Captain America movies. While its not necessarily or explicitly romantic, it can certainly be interpreted that way (and it makes sense why so many people have).

That’s all for this movie, I guess. I’m just going to leave this here, take from it what you will. 

#idk how to do endings which is whhy the last line is stolen from stevebucks post #stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #stevebucky #steve x bucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #steve/bucky #I did this when insomnia kciked in so any mistakes are bc i didnt proofread #not an incorrect quote

[tiramisiyu]

Thoughts on Xia Yan’s Anniversary/Kiss Date

Not a translation, but rather an unleashing of the many thoughts I had for his date because it made me feel so many emotions and think so many things;;

Wordcount: 2.8k

Date Translation

Preamble

Tears of Themis’ 1st anniversary features one of the most significant in-story events you can view within an otome game - the confession event between MC and respective male leads. The gravity of this confession event, however, is intensified with respect to the ML Xia Yan, as their emotions towards each other is not the only focus of said confession - he must also reveal the heartbreaking truth that his life is likely to end in three years. 

In the below sections, I will discuss the significance of various components that comprise Xia Yan’s anniversary date. My primary focuses will be on Xia Yan’s internal struggles, his care for MC, and the nature of the confession, and I aim to ultimately express why this date had such a major effect on me and whoa if you’re still reading this rambling part, I applaud you. I’m really just doing a fancy thoughtdump here.

The Nature of the Confession Event

From the beginning, XY never intended for the confession to be full of pomp and circumstance - and this was out of concern for MC, fearing that she would be too swept up in emotion to make it. Based on how the other guys’ cards look (them being outside and MC’s all dressed up), I assume that there was some ceremony-like aspect to their respective confessions, and I think that this draws a stark contrast to XY’s (who staunchly refused Yang Xiao’s offer to help make his confession just as ceremonial). In XY’s, MC’s not dressed up the way she is for the others, and both have been drenched in rain and are dissolving into tears of sadness as they speak. In addition, their desires are conflicting (rather than a situation where both parties confess and get together, and thus have coinciding interests) - despite what XY has said before, he does not want MC to be with him, while MC wants the exact opposite. It’s not a beautiful or gorgeous scene by design - instead, it’s very raw, very 狼狈 as the two lay bare their own painful emotions, discuss/cry about heavy topics, and show very vulnerable sides to each other, trying to get through to the other person. 

Speaking of showing vulnerability, the fact that Xia Yan is so anguished by what he has to say that he has to sit down and cry hits particularly hard because he has always, always tried to put on a strong face in front of MC. Whenever his illness strikes and MC sees it, such as in aquarium date or Neruda poem date, he’ll smile and/or joke about it after. When the two were talking about his posthumous letters during the RRG date, he still had a calm smile on his face. Even when he talked about being shoved into a car trunk to be “disposed of”, he was still calmly smiling. As MC noted, his job has taught him to have extreme control over his emotions, so it’s almost overwhelming, trying to imagine how much sadness pushed him to that point.

Pathetic fallacy also plays a part in increasing the impact that the confession event had. In the days leading up to the last part of the date, storms keep striking suddenly, such that it’s even described as “strange”. Storms are, of course, generally associated with less-pleasant things, such as conflict, anger, depression, difficulty, and so on. The meaning behind why they appeared suddenly or frequently is a little harder to understand, but my assumption for the frequency of the storms (rather than an ongoing storm or gloom) reflects how things could not completely “clear up” (despite uplifts in emotion from time to time) until they confronted each other with their feelings. During the confrontation, not only is the storm still going on, but they’re also harshly drenched in the cold rainwater. It is only after the kiss, after their interests finally coincide, that the storm lifts and the beautiful starry sky casts its light on Xia Yan, who was holding the majority of the conflict/sadness/depression between the two of them. (This is also highlighted in how MC notes that Xia Yan feels slightly cold (during the kiss), and she tries to transfer her warmth over to him, trying to alleviate that heavy emotion that’s wrapped itself around him.) 

The Location

The attic of their old home remains an important location for these two, and I pretty much can’t think of a better choice to set the confession. It contains their childhood memories, and it also came into play during Xia Yan’s first birthday after his return (i.e. the idea of continuing to make memories there). It’s also interesting to note that Xia Yan, from his rational mindset, did not intend to see MC… yet he still came to this place - a place that was equally meaningful to both of them, and a place where he’s likely to get lost in emotion. He may be restraining his emotions for MC’s good, yet they still show in small places. (At least, there doesn’t seem to be any logical reason for him to be there, since he wasn’t setting anything up there…)

The Humanizing and Internal Conflict of Xia Yan

I call it “humanizing” because I’ve done some commenting before on how Xia Yan has felt a little superhuman - so many skills everywhere, and rarely a moment of weakness. Now, this date really drives home that he is just human too, with the harsh reality of imminent death hanging over him (especially since we also learn a few more concrete details on exactly what his illness is). This point is brought into attention when he talks about how he’s neither able to be as brave as Schumann (who acted based on emotion) nor as silently strong as Brahms (who acted based on reason). He’s pulled in so many directions for all the things he wants - a desire to stay by MC’s side and do so much with her, whether as family or as something more, versus his rational mindset that tells him to not see her at all, to disappear from her life after, or to push her away even after her confession. There was also his “rationally” created plan in which he would give her the letter and let her decide, yet he still tries to convince her to not be with him. 

The Schumann/Brahms comparison shows how he keeps getting pulled back and forth between reason and emotion. He reveals his feelings to MC (Schumann), but wants her to make the optimal decision, which he believes is to not be with him (Brahms). He then kisses her after hearing her conviction (Schumann) and then gives her the gift that’s linked to Brahms. In realizing that he’s not able to stick to either path, he calls himself a coward - but he doesn’t need to be like either person. As MC says, his restraint is a part of his own background, and his emotional wavering is because of his care for MC - all in all, his motivations are because he is Xia Yan, not Schumann or Brahms. 

Personal Story Chapter 2 Parallels

In Xia Yan’s personal chapter 2, Yang Xiao sets up the story of 零/Zero and 玛丽薇莎/Marivisa to mirror MC and Xia Yan (respectively). The mention of what will bring Zero and MC happiness is starkly similar in these two situations:

⊳ Personal Ch.2-9

Xia Yan: 因为...这样，零会更幸福... 她不是在牺牲，她只是用自己的方式让零能幸福。Because this way, Zero would be happier… She wasn’t sacrificing herself. She was only using her own methods to make Zero happy.

MC: 但零的幸福就是她啊。But Zero’s happiness is her.

Xia Yan: 她已经无法给零幸福了。 It’s already impossible for her to give Zero happiness.

⊳ Date

Xia Yan: 如果你选择别的男人。。。只要他能给你幸福。我只会带给你不幸，我没有时间了。。。If you choose another man… As long as he can make you happy. All I can bring you is unhappiness. I don’t have much time left…

MC: 你怎么可能带给我不幸，你怎么可能做不到给我幸福。你在我身边，你的存在本身，就是我的幸福。How is it possible that you can only bring me unhappiness? How is it impossible for you to bring me happiness? You being by my side – your very existence – is my happiness. 

Yes, the Zero/Marivisa story was intentionally made to parallel these two, so it might feel moot to compare them like this. However, I still really appreciated that they brought this discussion of what brings MC/Zero happiness back, especially since XY’s chapter 2 was very major in developing his character. Back then, MC is vehement in that Zero would have been happier spending all the time he could with Marivisa, as well as even having the choice to spend that time with her. I think that this part was instrumental in Xia Yan eventually deciding to tell her the truth and letting her make her own decision (as he explicitly stated to Yang Xiao in part 1 of the date). However, he still wasn’t fully convinced by what MC said back in chapter 2, so we satisfyingly see this discussion of happiness come full circle by the end of this date, when Xia Yan finally trusts MC to make the best decision for herself. 

Xia Yan’s Considerateness

Xia Yan’s enduring consideration for MC displays itself in nearly every single action within this date. 

The flashback, when he thinks about MC potentially having to go through what the widow is now experiencing, and how his own happiness for three years isn’t worth that

His conviction to give her the right to decide in this matter that involves both of them, because he can’t be the one to decide everything

He insisted on not making it a romantic event, because he wants MC to make the best decision without having a mind clouded by emotion. He’s also made peace with the idea of not being with MC, for the sake of her long-term happiness. All he wants is for her to know the truth of his feelings and illness.

His decision to still make MC a gift to retain some aspect of the romance in the confession (but he only gives the gift after MC has made her decision, again to ensure that her mind isn’t clouded). I think the concept of the gift is particularly beautiful - the little, happy holograms of them inside the glass, as if ensuring that he will always be by her side in some way; the music that brings back their childhood memories and alludes to an enduring, quiet, and protecting love that puts the recipient first (i.e. Brahms to Clara); and the rainbow, which has its childhood memories and treasure implications that are already mentioned in the date, but it also reminded me of the miraculous double rainbow in his Lost Gold date. That double rainbow was the trigger for Xia Yan to proactively seek out a future with MC, when he took the initiative to ask MC if she could be with him to seek out more miracles. Overall, there are a lot of beautiful memories and implications wrapped up in that music box/snowglobe. 

The little comical segment where he worries about the optimal time to deliver the letter, worrying about MC’s sleep or if she’ll be able to eat well.

His stress over what he should’ve done after the letter was delivered, and how he immediately answered MC’s call out of pure worry, despite being so resolute about not answering her calls that he’d turned on airplane mode before. 

Their ensuing discussion in part 3 is just full of Xia Yan’s consideration for MC at its peak - 

Rather than being ecstatic about MC’s confession, his first instinct is to tell her to take a few days to think about it logically. (But really, emotions aren’t logical to begin with, so it’s not like MC would’ve stopped liking you after mulling it over for a few days, haha)

His immediate apology after yelling that he has to mention his death

His worry about how MC will cope after he’s gone, going so far as to saying that she would be better off with another man 

I think that this particular (above) line got a particularly visceral reaction from Xia Yan fans, including myself. Because like MC, our initial thoughts fell along the lines of “How could I ever choose someone else when the only person I like is you? There’s just no way someone else could make me happier…”. Another reaction that I’ve seen among Xia Yan fans (yep, including myself) is how we originally viewed the story in third-person, seeing “MC” in the story, but this date (and this particular scene, where MC says nearly everything that I myself would want to say) dragged us into a first-person position. 

The heartbreaking scene where Xia Yan cries from being unable to give MC the happiness that he wants to give her (or so he thinks). 

He’s just so painfully selfless. I also really like the line during the kiss where MC tries to transmit her warmth to him, trying to balance things out between them and have him feel better, when he had already written himself off by thinking that his happiness is better off sacrificed for hers. 

Jin Xian’s Voice Acting

Jin Xian’s voice acting deserves a whole section to itself, because I think that he did an amazing job of portraying the intense emotions Xia Yan feels during the date. Just going to list some lines that really hit hard - both because of the content, and because of the voice acting that really considered how Xia Yan would be feeling then. 

我可以去追她，我甚至可以和她结婚。我可以把最后的三年过得很好，过的毫无遗憾，但是然后呢？她一个人要怎么办。。。��陪她走出来，谁来照顾她。。。(“I could pursue her. I could even marry her. I could live my last three years happily, without the slightest of regrets. But what about after? How will she cope on her own… Who will be with her as she handles this? Who will take care of her…”) The ups and downs of this section’s voicing really hit hard.

The gentleness with which he speaks about what he plans to tell MC, especially the line 她从来都是这样 (“She’s always been like that.”)

He’s so cute in Part 2!! The tone’s a lot happier and relaxed and it’s really nice to see and hear. 

In part 3, the vehemence with which he talks about how the risks of MC’s work aren’t comparable to his established time limit, which then softens into something sadder when he talks about how Yang Xiao’s efforts haven’t extended his time by much. 

The intensity when he says 我必须说 ! (“I have to say it!”) (when MC reacts to him using the word “death”), and how he immediately softens his tone after. But then his voice starts to rise again as he worries for how MC will bear his death… and then he takes a break to calm down, and then makes the suggestion of MC finding another man with a near-inflectionless tone that gradually slips into a whisper

His whispering voice makes the impact of 我在乎。。。！(I care…!) hit even harder because it’s suddenly loud, and you can clearly hear the tears in his voice. Once again, he takes a breath to calm himself down and quiet his voice. But even as he keeps talking in a voice that descends into a whisper again, you can tell that he’s still on the verge of crying…

Also the 我也。。。好喜欢，最喜欢你. (I also… like you. I like you the most) line left me screaming with how it was whispered but really strong and adamant-sounding aaaaa

Anyways I could list more but at that point I might as well list Jin Xian’s entire script lmao. He did such a good job!!!!!! 

Sound Effects 

I’m laughing at myself for including this section - if you turn off the music that accompanies Xia Yan’s card, you’ll… hear some very interesting sound effects [狗头]

They’ve got to make the most of their limited time together, after all, and this is the only date out of the set of four that’s indoors… it makes sense…

Other Thoughts 

Two kisses!!

What sort of treatment would leave Xia Yan infected with drugs with prohibited components? What were they even trying to do? 

The date was short relative to the other, super-long Themis dates, but I’m personally alright with that because it places focus on the confession itself. It hit all the points that I personally was expecting for Xia Yan’s confession, including his past struggles with the idea of staying with MC, his confession about both his feelings and his illness, and how resolute MC is about staying with him vs. how hard he tries to get her to understand the implications of being him, considering that he doesn’t have much time left. 

I think now’s a good time for the two of them to get married if they’re well aware that Xia Yan’s time is limited, so Xia Yan, where’s the ruby ring? 

I wonder what implications this will have on the main story - e.g. will the rest of NXX find out about Xia Yan’s illness in Chapter 7.2? Or will they never know? Actually, I wonder if they’ll have MC be aware of his illness in the main story because… that implies his confession happened, which might anger fans of the other boys. 

Conclusion

I love Xia Yan and I love this date. 

#tears of themis #xia yan #luke pearce #rambles #this whole thing is kinda messy so kudos if you made it through

[atopfourthwall]

Ive only recently gotten into classic Star Trek so I don't think I can properly answer but what is it specifically about Discovery and recent Star Trek that classic Trek fans hate?

Putting this behind a cut because... it's a lot.

Well, first of all a big rejection of it is just on an aesthetic level. Up until the 2009 movie (which was considered a reboot, even with time travel elements), Star Trek tried to treat the original series and how it was portrayed as pretty sacrosanct. Sure, they might occasionally make jokes about goofier aspects of it and discard some of the stupider stuff (like how in the final episode, penned by Gene Roddenberry himself, that women weren't allowed to Captain starships), but how TOS looked? That's how the 23rd century looked. Buttons and multi-colored outfits and boxy computers and smooth, undetailed ships WAS what was appropriate for the time. When Scotty came back in TNG, they had him on the holodeck and it was the TOS bridge. When DS9 traveled back in time to that era for an episode? They went onto the Enterprise and visited it. When in an Enterprise 2-parter we had a TOS-era ship? It looked like a TOS ship. They even did a 2-parter on Enterprise to explain why Klingons had smooth foreheads when later (and earlier) they didn't. Star Trek up until then cared about maintaining that continuity of appearance. But Discovery is set in the TOS era... but nothing looks like TOS. Even when we got the Enterprise and those uniforms and we saw inside the ship, it was an upgraded form. The only logic I've seen people try to argue about WHY it doesn't look like it actually did was "Well, audiences won't accept something as cheap as TOS being futuristic." Well, then you've got a few responses there: -Don't set in TOS era, then. -That's horseshit, because audiences from the 90s through the 2000s accepted it just fine. Even a piece of dialogue from DS9 explained it perfectly: "I LOVE 23rd century design." It LOOKS cheap, but it was just the aesthetics of the period. And the Enterprise 2-parter it still looked good in HD. Hell, arguably it looked BETTER in HD because they knew how to light it and create mood and its own unique flavor. -It's even more horseshit because people are STILL going back and watching it even today, as indicated by you saying you've started watching it, so clearly it's not that much of a barrier. But what's even more egregious is the TECHNOLOGY. You might be able to accept updated aesthetics if at least matches what was present during the period... and it doesn't. Holographic displays and communication (holodeck technology AT ALL, frankly - it's possible it was there, but TNG seemed pretty adamant that the holodecks were fairly new, very impressive technology), weapons not looking or acting like they traditionally did, Enterprise and Discovery having R2D2-style repair droids that certainly did not exist in TOS, the wrong sound effects being frequently employed, replicator technology for good-looking food instead of food dispensers that gave out marshmallows and cubes, and honestly the tech level shown in Discovery looks just as advanced - if not MORE advanced than seen on TNG 100 years later. And this is a minor thing, but despite the attempt to make the future LOOK futuristic, from a cultural perspective, the future looks... way too damn similar to now. The excessive swearing (it was said in particular in Star Trek 4 that while they certainly did cuss, it was less common and they sure as hell weren't dropping F-bombs), a party on Discovery that looked like a rave (when previously it seemed like the most popular music and culture of the 23rd/24th century was considered fairly high-brow entertainment [classical music, Shakespeare, great works of literature and plays, etc.] - and while you could certainly argue that that snootiness and love of that stuff is a problem with Star Trek and a sign of how sterile and homogenized it is, THAT is the future they presented and a character in Voyager loving some of the goofier parts of 20th century culture like jukeboxes and old sci-fi serials was considered unusual), and just the general way people talk betrays the idea that the writers aren't thinking about how society changes in the future. It's just the modern day, but with cooler technology. But hey, let's set aside the general aesthetics - some people aren't going to mind that and find

ways to handwave away a lot of stuff (even Discovery season 2 TRIED to handwave away stuff like the holographic communications, but did a piss-poor job of it). This brings us to the problem of the WRITING. And the problem with the writing is a big Michael Burnham-shaped indentation. To be clear, I don't mind Michael as a character or her actress - there are interesting aspects to her, centering a Star Trek show around the science officer is a neat idea (though that means you should probably NAME IT AFTER HER and not around the ship, because it suggests this is a standard ensemble group and not JUST her)... but the actual execution is that it feels like the entire universe bends over backwards for HER. She has a unique relationship with a beloved longtime character that is retconned in. She has unique relationships with several important characters to the point where the fate of billions of people hinges on her and the decisions she makes. She is presented as almost always correct about everything, and those that oppose her are often wrong, naïve, or active enemies. Now, this is less of an issue in the third season - but that has its own unique problems - but in the first season, the resolution of two major storylines (mirror universe and the Klingon war) revolves around her and her relationship to the Terran Emperor and Lorca. In season 2, her mother trying to help or save her is the basis of the ENTIRE friggin' plot with time travel and the like, with special knowledge and history having to do with her and everyone ready to abandon their lives for her so she won't be alone when she has to go to the future when arguably they barely know her (the timeline of the show is debatable). Season 3 has a few different problems with her - the first is that she keeps being involved in things that don't concern her (why is she going down to Trill?) and she keeps violating orders. Now, her violating orders is a problem throughout the entirety of Discovery - in fact, it's kind of the instigating factor OF the series. And arguably, other Star Trek characters are guilty of that and they face no consequences, just as she faces none... and yet it's the brazenness with which it happens, and in those other series it's arguable because the series tries to avoid excessive continuity changes for its episodic nature, so the status quo MUST return to normal... but Discovery is pivoted as one of MAJOR continuity, so her lack of consequences (and indeed eventual PROMOTION) is baffling to the point of frustration. Now again, let me be clear here - she is not a bad character in and of herself. Honestly what it shows is that being the science officer on a starship is not where her talents lie. She should be in a position where she has a lot more freedom to act and not in a major command structure... but being in that command structure, what we see in season 3 is that she lacks the discipline, emotional maturity, responsibility, leadership qualities, and general other traits necessary to be a Captain. Only once during season 3 did she display such a quality - putting the safety of the Federation above a friend and colleague... but other times she will happily disobey orders and put herself and others in harm's way, creating potential new problems. Now, again, Star Trek is rife with characters doing that... but usually not the Captains. And, in fact, when this happened once on DS9 with one officer disobeying orders and putting their own personal feelings above the greater responsibility, it was made VERY clear that the incident would mean that they would never be able to command a starship because of the unofficial reprimand. What's even more frustrating about her is that the character is ALWAYS shoved to the forefront so much to the point where we just get sick of her. SHE is the one giving log entries (usually pretty piss-poor ones, at that - very flowery and nonsensical and kind of dumb) and not the Captain. SHE is the one given so much focus and how the plot of the episode affects her. Barely anyone else gets any focus episodes - I STILL can't

remember the names of some of the secondary characters because they're so rarely said, and a PTSD-related plotline in season 3 for one of the secondary characters basically gets resolved OFF-SCREEN. Michael would be fine if we actually had a chance to miss her... but we never do. Arguably one of the best episodes of the show is in season 2, when it focuses on Saru and his people because Michael DOES take a back seat. It's his story and his development and problems relating to him and his people. And even if, again, we forgave the idea of so much focus on her even in plots that aren't about her... she never seems to really change that much. She'll TALK about how she's changed, but I see no real difference in the way she acts (MAYBE season 1 to 2, where in season 1 she was stiffer and more Vulcan-like, but that's it). But hey, let's assume that's not a problem for you - you really, REALLY like Michael and are fine with so much focus on her. Simply put, the writing of the rest of the show... is just kind of dumb. The ship is powered by magic mushrooms that let it teleport everywhere because the universe has super fungus capillaries throughout it that nobody can see and also it's magic and can resurrect the dead. The time travel plot of season 2 doesn't make any sense when you sit down and diagram it. Well-established Trek lore is just kind of sprinkled in, but now in ways that doesn't match what it was before or at least in ways that completely recolor how it's supposed to work, because it needs to serve THIS plot. Everyone remembering a murdererous monster fondly after she leaves because "Hey, she was coooool." The explanation for the big mystery in season 3 is just fricking stupid and one of the two big reasons why I've finally given up on Discovery, because it's just so absurd, doesn't match how anything works, and just feels like the writers giving the middle finger to the audience because they care more about "YOU MUST FEEEEEEL THINGS!" instead of it making sense. And indeed, there is certainly a balance to be made of plot vs. emotion-driven storytelling - some stories are dumb, but are forgivable because the character writing and emotion are so strong that they override how goofy the plot is... but sometimes a plot is just so dumb it overrides anything I'm SUPPOSED to feel. And it would help if I already liked the show, already gave it some benefit of the doubt... but I don't and it hasn't done enough to impress me. A little thing that's a problem with ALL of current modern Trek shows is that whole sprinkling lore thing - I don't think a single episode goes by in ANY current modern Trek series that doesn't have a random reference to classic Trek lore. A name, a line of dialogue, etc. It comes across like the creators don't trust you to enjoy it on its own merits, but want you to like it because "Hey, remember thing? We know about thing! Like us because we mentioned thing!" But hey, I recognize that these are things that other people may not have any problem with or just disagree in general. But for me and my family, these are the big ones that keep us from enjoying it. Hell, my brother and dad still watch it for hatewatching purposes, but I was done after season 3. I gave it plenty of chances to impress me, and while each season MARGINALLY got better as it went along, I'm tired of waiting to actually like it and to stop feeling like it thinks I'm a fucking idiot. If other people still like it, great - it clearly appeals to them in a way that it doesn't appeal to me and they are free to enjoy it. Other people probably have their own issues, but this long, rambly bit is the major stuff for me.

[mischievouswritingblog]

Meta Essay: Medivh The Bisexual Icon

As of the time of this post, there’s going to be an update coming to World of Warcraft where the once all female ghosts in Karazhan will be changed to include male varieties as well.

Full details on the update can be found here: https://www.wowhead.com/news/female-only-ghosts-in-karazhan-updated-to-include-male-versions-324371

This has caused a lot of fun posts and people to take this as an ‘accidental confirmation’ by Blizzard that the character Medivh is bisexual. Pair this along with how some of his portrayal in Hearthstone was made into Warcraft canon, and in my opinion, it’s an excellent update to his character.

It’s no secret that Blizzard’s had a massive lack in LBGTQ+ representation for the longest time. Often when such subject matter did show up it was treated more as a punchline in some quests or was kept conveniently to the sidelines, with nonconsequential, blink and you miss it text, side characters, moments. It’s insulting, to say the least, and is the source of a growing frustration from the LBGTQ+ members of the audience. What’s more, whenever this frustration gets voiced it’s always talked down to. We are told that to ‘keep politics out of gaming’ and that we are too sensitive, when these are the same people that get bent out of shape when even a single thing changes or is called out in their game. It’s bullshit. LBGTQ+ people exist and the act of existing isn’t a political issue.

But of course, with people even making lighthearted jokes or posts of Medivh being a ‘Bisexual Icon’, there’s folks crawling out of the woodwork with reasons from “But the loooooooore!” (as if the lore isn’t constantly changing and being retconned from one expansion to the next) to “Well A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y, those male guests were just for the female nobles that visited and attended his parties, Medivh was very straight”. To that, I’m going to say: “Nah, Medivh is a bisexual icon, deal with it”.

In my personal opinion, Medivh is an excellent character to explore queerness  with. He’s a character that’s been around since Warcraft 1 and the effects and ties from his story are still felt throughout World of Warcraft in various ways. Medivh is also a character that’s gone through a large amount of evolution and various portrayals. My personal favorite being the One Night in Karazhan take on him because it’s so different from the usual ‘brooding, grand powerful hermit-mage’ that his type of character usually is. Medivh in One Night in Karazhan is instead, vibrant and is a thriving social butterfly that loves to have and treat people to a good time. His reasonings for being this way make a lot more sense when you really think about what Medivh’s situation was.

Now, I have to mention that I do a much deeper dive and deconstruction of Medivh’s circumstances and just how messed up they were in this self indulgent essay/headcanon dump: ‘My Completely Self-indulgent Medivh Essay’. Feel free to give it a read but here is the basic gist for this essay:

Yes, Medivh was the Guardian, one of the most powerful mages to exist at the time. He was also possessed by Sargeras and was the one that created and opened the Dark Portal that brought the Orcs to Azaroth and changed Azeroth forever. But here’s the thing, Medivh had no choice in any of it.

To be the Guardian means you have to put your life on the line for Azeroth’s sake. This is a role that had to be kept to secrecy, people had to make a lot of sacrifices to be the Guardian. You gain phenomenal powers and it is a great honor but none of this was anything that Medivh ever asked for. He was literally born to become the Guardian, there was no other choice for his own future. 

Then you have Sargeras, he had his plans in play long before Medivh was even a thought. A sliver of Sargeras had entered Aegwynn (Med’s mother and the Guardian before him) from a battle between Aegwynn and his avatar. This influence hid within her and made its move when she decided that she wasn’t going to allow the Council of Tirisfal to choose her heir for her title and powers for her. Ignoring Chronicle’s softening of her, she used Medivh’s father, Neilas Aran, the court magician of Stormwind to sire a child. In TLG she let him know she flat out used him and felt nothing for him then came back later and tossed baby Medivh to him for free childcare. What neither of them knew at the time was that Medivh was possessed by Sargeras while he was in the womb. Sargeras would then screw him over even further by causing his powers to lash out when he was fourteen, causing him to accidentally kill his father and fall into a near 10 year coma, and wake up mentally and emotionally fourteen in a twenty-three-year-old’s body. So from the very beginning Medivh was always set up for failure.

So with this summary out of the way, the point of the matter is that Medivh is a character that had little autonomy for most of his life. His career and his fate were chosen for him from the start. Sargeras was in his head messing with him throughout his life, in TLG Medivh even tells Khadgar that he tried to fight it as much as he could. His story is a tragic one but with his reappearance in Legion there’s potentially a ray of hope.

I think there’s a lot of aspects in Medivh’s story that can tie well with the feelings and experiences of queerness. Not so much the being possessed by discount space Satan, but more so the struggle of trying to have autonomy and hanging onto who you are as a person. Being queer myself and looking at it through that lens, I see Medivh being vibrant and throwing parties as an attempt for him to seize what autonomy he could for himself. To exist, to be seen, and to have an identity of his own that had nothing to do with being the Guardian of Tirisfal. I think that it’s also something that separates Medivh from Sargeras. There were likely times where Sargeras may have forced the lines between them to blur as he gradually poisoned Medivh’s thoughts and twisted his soul throughout the years. Medivh likely had to struggle a lot with separating who he truly was from Sargeras. This being inside him, who wasn’t him but would at times take over his body suppressing Medivh’s true self. It’s a horror story where some elements can really hit close to home.

Medivh I believe surrounded himself with like minded, free spirited people like Barnes and the theater troupe (while there’s the joke Medivh’s only seen three plays, I choose to headcanon he’s a theater kid, given how he has a theater to begin with and his own love for theatrics). Whether you picture Medivh as aro, ace, gay, bi, pan, or trans, with the upcoming changes he clearly accepts many kinds of people into his home.

This also has the interesting effect of changing some of the tones for some events in his lore. One example being the titans sending down the Maiden of Virtue to punish Medivh and make him live a more ‘pure’ life. The Titans are Azeroth’s closest thing to a pantheon of gods. They are beings of order, having taken Azeroth in her rawest form and molding her into something they saw fit. Apparently, Medivh’s parties and behavior was seen as something that required ‘correcting’.

On one hand, it’s really easy to read it simply as Medivh being a selfish, spoiled brat. But with looking at it through a queer lens one can put a more positive spin on the situation. The Maiden of Virtue was sent to shame and punish him into conforming into something the Titans believe someone like Medivh should behave. It clearly didn’t work. Looking at this situation, one can read it as Medivh refusing to relinquish his identity because a ‘higher power’ wanted him to. In the real world there are so many that have to hide their orientation and gender thanks to people using religion and belief as a cudgel. So having a character like Medivh as queer, with the power and willfulness to flat out refuse and shut it down is a refreshing power move.

Medivh’s story and the way he is in general has elements that I believe many people of the LBGTQ+ can relate with. He’s a complicated character that has dealt with abuse and being forced into roles without his consent, he made identity for himself and it was stripped away by an oppressor (Sargeras), and, depending on if Blizzard decides he’s actually resurrected/alive instead of being a ghost, is a survivor.

So to me, I love the idea of Medivh being a queer icon in Warcraft. It hasn’t been officially stated by Blizzard at the time this essay was posted but it has started a fun conversation. There are and will be the haters who will scream and tantrum about the LBGTQ+ touching their precious (when convenient) lore with their filthy paws and tarnishing ‘their game’. But in the meantime, I’m going to continue having a blast with the idea and enjoy working the story potential it gives into fanfics, speculations, and essays.

If you enjoyed this essay, I did a few other bits of meta, headcanons, and speculation for fun: My Completely Self-indulgent Medivh Essay

A Bit About Wizards and Sorcerers

Headcanons: Medivh is Alive and Currently Uses ‘The Guardian’s Study’ as his Home

#World of Warcraft #Medivh #warcraft headcanons