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fruitmins · 8 months

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Agust Dad—Three

➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry and change your fate forever.

➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au

➭warnings: none I think, just pure angst, Yoongi’s kinda stalkerish but that’s okay

note: I don’t wanna drag this out but I don’t wanna make the chapters to long😭 anyways my life has been crazy lately and this story gives me life so THANK YOU SM for all of the support I love you ALL. Updated the tag list for whoever asked to be on it🫶🏽

Taglist: @welcometomyworld13 @tatyhend @jiminiesunicorn @littlestarstinyseven @baechugff @thelilbutifulthings @tearykth @familiarlikemymirror3 @coree730 @prajusstuff @wobblewobble822 @choisoorin @manuosorioh @0funsite0 @whipwhoops @bergandysam @aloverga @illnevertrustmyselfagain @silentreadersthings

You thought blocking him would fix the problem. Even though you both worked in the same building, you thought blocking him would make everything go away. You thought he would get a hint and let your breathe.

You actually woke up the next morning with a sense of relief – you’re done with Yoongi. He’s finally out of your life and won't be causing more drama and heartbreak.

Or so you thought.

A loud knock on your front door brings you back to harsh reality very quickly. You weren’t expecting anyone, and it's way too early in the day to be a package or delivery. No one made any prior plans to visit you.

In fact, you hadn’t really talked to anyone since the incident besides a couple family members. But they were way to far from Seoul to suddenly drive to your house.

You stumble to your front door, rubbing your eyes as you try to adjust to the light. You have your hand on the doorknob, prepared to open it as you take a small glance through the peephole.

Oh, it’s Yoongi.

It registers in your head and you quickly do a double take, leaning down more to get a better view.

Oh, it’s YOONGI.

He’s head is down as he looks at his phone, so you can’t get the clearest look at his features but you recognize the luxurious long black hair. You recognize the nice black blazer that he always seems to have on. You recognize his freakishly pale skin and his long fingers and veiny hands.

Min Yoongi is at your doorstep at six o clock in the morning.

You quickly swing your door open, causing his head to snap up from his phone as you stare at him with wide eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

You get deja vu as you whisper yell at him, afraid you’d alert the neighbors or some crazy fan would realize that Min Yoongi is on your doorstep.

You should be asking how he got your address and number, but your mind is too much of a mess to ask the right questions.

“Why can’t I come check up on you?” Yoongi frowns, irritated by your cold welcome and you stare at him like he is an alien.

Before you can answer his insane question, he speaks up again. “Wow this house is treacherous.” He mumbles as he glancing around your porch.

You shake your head, dismissing the sudden rude remark on your house. “Yoongi are you insane? You can’t come here like this.” You say in a quiet voice again, glancing around your neighborhood but nothing has changed.

“You blocked me.” Yoongi states, his tone making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world but his expression was still blank.

“Well I did it because I didn’t want to talk to you.” You state harshly, making it clear how crazy he looked by somehow finding your address and showing up anyways.

He just stands there, remaining unfazed by your outbursts, his gaze never wavering. Instead of saying something back, he simply pushes a piece of paper you hadn’t notice he had, towards you.

You give him a confused look as you take the paper before glancing down to look at it. Upon closer inspection your eyes catch certain words.

Your eyes widen as you realize what the piece of paper was.

You don’t know what you’re going to say, but as you glance back up at him you attempt to move your mouth anyways. He speaks again before you can say even anything. “Take the paternity test.”

You remain silent as you stare down at the paternity test in your hands, the silence between you growing more and more intense. "If the baby isn’t mine, you can block me and I’ll leave you alone. But if it’s mine, I want to be involved..”

For the first time every, you see a hint of emotion in his eyes. His blank expression softens, revealing a hint of who he might really be. “I want to be there.”

You don't say anything, but inside your heart's beating a mile a minute and your thoughts are spinning around your mind as you try to process everything. This moment feels far too surreal, like something out of a drama that only exists in fiction.

Of course you couldn’t believe his words. After everything you spilled to him yesterday, you couldn’t just hop back into his arms. You couldn’t just trust him again. You want to tell him off for showing up at your door like this in the first place.

But still, a faint flicker of hope springs inside you. A tiny voice whispers things in your ear that maybe things will be different. Maybe you won’t be alone. Just maybe you could trust him.

"Fine, I'll take the test." As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel a pang of regret. You can’t deny him the right to know if it’s his, even if you knew that it was already biologically. He was the only man you’d slept with for almost a year.

Without giving him much time to process your words, you close the door breathing heavily as you tired to calm your thoughts. You try to focus on other things for the time being, but despite your efforts to think positively and be strong, a nagging feeling of dread never leaves you. You feel a heavy weight sink in your stomach as you worry about the future and your baby.

You retreat to your room, shutting the door behind you. You take the paternity test out, and after a moment of hesitation, you start taking it. You take a sample of your spit and see that Yoongi has already done the same.

You try to keep your mind blank while you do it, but as soon as you start collecting the sample, your brain is flooded with thoughts of Yoongi and your time together. The night, the sex, everything.

You can’t help but wonder how the you and Yoongi would look together, holding a little baby in your arms with him next to you. You can’t help but think about things as if it was another universe were you met on simpler terms.

Your thoughts quickly spiral into a fantasy, and by the time you finish taking the test, your cheeks are red.

You know it’s stupid but you can’t help but think about what’s going to come after the test gets back to you. It’s going to be proof that the baby is his and he claims to want to be involved.

That he wants to be there.

That he’s here now.

Your mind wanders back to the conversation you had in your office. How you told him over and over that he had abandoned you. And in response, here he was saying that he was here for you.

You don’t know how long you can believe him and you don’t know if the desire to care for the baby will go away.

But one things for certain is that the test will come back positive.

And you’ll no longer escape the reality of what awaits you.

Before you know it, Yoongi shows up to your house a couple days later but this time you actually invited him.

You know that you couldn’t tell him at the company cause you could be caught and it’s not something you should tell him through text, so you invited him to your house.

The doorbell rings and your eyes go to the clock above the door.

It's early, but not that early. With your heart racing, you head to the door and slowly it open to reveal... Yoongi.

You remain frozen for a moment before speaking, your throat dry.

He looks as handsome as ever, though he seems more cautious and serious than usual. He knows why he is here, and you know why he is here.

So you push back any thoughts that aren’t necessary and any memories that don’t need to be brought back. "Hello," you say simply, not knowing what else to say.

"Hello," he greets you, eyes skimming over your stomach, which isn’t yet visible but will be soon.

“Come in..” you say in a quiet voice turning away from him and going to the couch in the living room. Your heart starts racing as you begin to feel anxious about the conversation that lies ahead.

Yoongi enters your house, but the air is tense. The silence hangs so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Eventually, he speaks up, his tone stiff.

"Did you get the results back?" he asks, his deep voice cuts through the silence.

Immediately your heartbeat goes up a notch, and you silently nod in response. “I did..” you mumble, swallowing hard as you pick up the paper off the table and slowly hand it to him, your heart thumping as you watch him closely.

A moment passes as he scans the paper in silence, taking his time and processing the implications.

Finally, he hands the paper back to you, his expression unreadable and the tension in the room as thick as ever.

There, it's all out in the open now, and there's no going back. You’ve officially connected yourself to Min Yoongi.

"So... it's true then."

Yoongi's words hang in the air, heavy.

You nod, your throat squeezed shut with anxiety and worry. Yoongi's gaze wanders across your face, his expression unreadable. His mind must be racing with thoughts of what to do next.

The silence stretches on forever before he finally speaks again. “We need to talk about this," he says calmly, and his tone is decisive.

You take a deep breath before speaking. “Well, I already told you I plan on raising it alone.” You state in a low voice, not making eye contact with him.

Yoongi exhales a shaky frustrated breath, his emotions taking the wheel once more. He takes a moment to collect himself before finding the right words. "And you think I'm just supposed to sit by and let that happen?" He challenges.

You blink, and for a moment, you can tell how serious he's being and you know you’re being stubborn but you can’t help but think of all the package Yoongi came with. His career, his fans, his schedule.

“It’ll just be easier for you and for me if you weren’t involved.” You state, with a heavy sigh. Yoongi's expression doesn't change, but his body language shifts. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, the tension in his stance palpable.

"Easier for you, maybe. But don’t you think the baby has a right to know who its father is?” He asks and the question catches you by the throat and makes it dry.

Your stomach is filled with guilt, because you know he has a point. You go quiet at the moment, suddenly feeling guilty Yoongi had a right to be involved and the baby had the right to have a father.

And if Yoongi has asked this question, then maybe he was being serious. Maybe he actually cared about the child.

“So, how much do you want to be involved in?” You ask, glancing up at him to see that his eyes narrow momentarily before he responds, but his tone gradually softens as he sees the guilt in your eyes.

"I want to know the baby," he says, the softness in his tone taking you by surprise. "I want to be there for everything, from the first doctor's visits to the first words. I want to be part of its life."

You notice that whenever he says "the baby", his eyes flick towards your stomach as he speaks, even though there’s not visual of the baby even being there.

“What about your career? What about the media?” You question, slightly worried how his fans will react, how his company will react. It wasn’t everyday an idol got some random woman knocked up.

Yoongi relaxes a little after you concede the point, no longer challenging you. "Don't worry about that," Yoongi says quickly, his voice full of determination.

"The media's always going to make a big fuss, but I'll handle it. I'll handle everything. You shouldn’t stress about anything, especially if it’s not your problem to worry about."

His words make your heart flutter, but you're not sure if it's happiness or anxiety. It was like when he looked at the paper, his whole demeanor changed. His whole mindset changed, and you don’t know if you should be excited or worried.

"Listen," he says softly, "I never dreamed that something like this would happen, but now that it has, I want to make sure this baby has the best life possible. I’m not going to take the easy way out, that’s not what a real man does.” He states and despite his tough exterior, Yoongi is determined to be a present father for your child-to-be.

It’s silent again, millions of thoughts and emotions racing through your mind. “Well, I have a seven week appointment, if you want to come..” You mumble in a quiet voice.

“I’ll be there.”

He says, way to quickly.

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kingofbodyrolls · 3 months

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Hoseok fic recs 2024 🥳

In honor of Hoseok’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Hobi stories, that I’ve read this past year (2023-2024) 💜 I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love! Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’ or last years recs 🙂

[index] → jan | feb (💜) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) | Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄.

⭐Helping Hands by @m-yg93 [6k] // jhs x f.reader // f2l // 🥵

📝 Between your boyfriend getting into bed with another girl and finals taking all your time a cold rift has emerged between the usually warm movie nights with your best friend. Thankfully exams are over and Hoseok is back on your couch where he belongs. When some shit talking gets a little too close to home and Hoseok finds out you’ve never even had an orgasm he decides to take things into his own hands, and yours.

🗨️ This was so hot, like what 😳🥵 also a bit funny, but mostly smutty 🤭

⭐Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la [9.5K] // jhs x f. reader // flight!au, idol!au // 🥵😂

📝 Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

🗨️ This was just really really amazing; utterly funny (like I was laughing at certain points), so much sexual tension that evolves into satisfying smut 😗

⭐Ho Ho Horrible @ugh-yoongi [5.6K] // jhs x f.reader // e2l, neighbor!au, holiday!au // 🥵🥰😂

📝 (or, the one where your neighbor is a relentless christmas caroler and refuses to take a hint, but at least he's really hot.)

🗨️ No– this was just so freaking cute! 😭 Like fluffy cute and also extremely funny, just what I love. I loved this so much 💜 OC’s friendship with Tae, their banter was 💯 and then with Hobi, just so so good! It was so cute and OC’s internal dialogue is just funny 😂A really cute holiday themed Hoseok fic that I can’t recommend enough!!!! Everything was just great. Had me smiling and giggling a few times – please go read it 🥹💜

⭐Started with a Sparkle, now we’re on Fire @the-boy-meets-evil [6.5K] // jhs x f.reader // f2l // 🥵

📝 You're feeling self conscious about your recent break-up and hoseok is more than happy to teach you a thing or two.

🗨️ Really really good! I really liked it 💜 I really loved how both sweet and demanding Hoseok was, guiding oc through everything.

⭐Watch Yourself by @boymeetsweevil [7.7k] // jhs x f.reader // non idol au, pwp // 🥵

📝 It starts with an invitation from your ex. It ends with Hoseok’s hands down your pants in said ex’s kitchen.

🗨️ Oh this was hot alright 🥵

⭐In the Car @floralseokjin [14.7K] // jhs x f.reader // mechanic!hoseok, street racer!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 all you had was a dead car battery, you weren’t looking for romance, regardless if the charming mechanic had other ideas. You’ve heard stories that could put you off… Can he change your misconceptions, or will they prove correct after all…?

🗨️ oh my- really really good 💖 something about mechanic AND street racer Hoseok has me question my sanity 🥵

⭐Two in one @here2bbtstrash [12K] // jhs x f.reader x pjm // best friends!au, threesome // 🥵🥵🥵

📝 you finally have a much-needed smoke session with your best friends, just like old times. you’re also pretty sure they’re gay… right?

🗨️ the chemistry between them, how they have been friends for so long, oc’s assumptions lol, and their humor too! Priceless 👏💖 Gosh! It was pure filth, in the best way possible, so sinful and dirty— and, and—, PLEASE GO READ IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY 😭💖

⭐Floored @lavienjin [5.2K] // jhs x f.reader x pjm x jjk // idol!au, established relationship with Hobi, foursome // 🥵🥵🥵

📝 in the midst of your reunion with your boyfriend after not seeing each other for some time, you’re interrupted by two sets of eyes. not wanting to waste the opportunity, hoseok proposes a foursome and hey, “the more, the merrier”, right?

🗨️ what did I even read? 🥵 (it was good!)

⭐Good Morning @ppersonna [2.1K] // jhs x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 hoseok’s methods of waking you up are … unconventional, but effective.

🗨️ omg I loved it 💖💯

⭐To the Beat of my Heart @jeonggukingdom [7.2K] // jhs x f.reader // dancer!au, sort of e2l // 🥵

📝 when you walk into the studio that Sunday afternoon, all you expect is a lonely and chill practice session but, a few hours later, your programs are shattered in thousand pieces by the unexpected presence of Jung Hoseok. And nothing could have prepared you for what he had in store for you.

🗨️ wow, this was incredibly good! Well written and it was just so freaking hot, I loved it! 💯✨

⭐Holiday Inn @bangtanintotheroom [36.6K] // jhs x f.reader // non-idol!au, rap group!au, s2e2l // 🥵😂

📝 if it’s not the loud music, it’s the constant rapping. If it’s not the constant rapping, it’s the hysterical laughter. And if it’s not the hysterical laughter, it’s the moaning and screaming women. How the hell hasn’t your neighbor been kicked out yet? Oh right; he’s a beloved rapper.

🗨️ I’m just— WOW 🤯💯 This must be one of the best Hoseok fics I’ve ever read. Damn it was fucking amazing 👏 I loved the assertiveness of reader, and how that tension just build so fucking perfectly! Everything was so freaking good. A masterpiece!! 💜✨

⭐Make Me @violetsiren90 [16k] // jhs x f.reader // idol!au, f2fwb, BDSM lifestyle // 🥵🥵🥵

📝 You’ve been friends with Hobi for years, and he’s your comfort zone - but when he gets wind of a dark secret you drunkenly let slip, things between you take a sudden extreme change.

🗨️ Oh. My.Goodness. My soul left my body multiple times when I read this!!! It is incredible!!! Really love this one, and if you like BDSM this is definitely for you, but even if you don’t (like me, this was out of my ‘comfort zone’) you will still enjoy it ✨👏💯

And as a something a little extra, here’s a few fics that I haven’t had the time to read yet, but damn I’m buzzing to get to read them:

Sonic Rain [25k] @jungblue

The Retreat [19.6k] @ugh-yoongi

Fake Love [16.2k] @aquaminwrites

The Night Shift [11k] @prolixitae

The Treasured Thief [16k] @justimajin

Happy birthday HOBI!!!! 🥳💜✨

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simpxxstan · 9 months

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the night shift

pairing: idol!jeonghan x caregiver!f.reader

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers, a little bit of angst

summary: it’s such a surprise what just three months of your life can do to you. it can actually change your life.

word count: 10.3k

rating: 13+

warning: mention of death (not major character). a few swear words here and there. a lot of time skips, i hope it doesn't impede the reading flow!

a/n: i have officially been sucked into the world of svt and there’s no getting out of here! i honestly just got into soft jeonghan feels and wrote this. i’m writing after a very long time, and so much has happened since my last update on tumblr. i’m sorry if i have kept any of you waiting 😭. i will try to update regularly now!

i hope you enjoy reading it!

“Hello. I’m L/N Y/N.” You bowed deeply to the young man sitting in front of you in a wheelchair, a bored expression feeting in his eyes, his blonde hair falling raggedly over his face. A face you were not unfamiliar with.

The man twisted his lip in annoyance and looked at the other man in the room. “Why is she here?”

“Hyung, you had said you’d keep a nurse.”

“I don’t remember, Hoshi. Perhaps, I was under the effect of heavy medication. Because of these fucking meds-” he seemed mildly irritated as he swatted his hand about in the air. “None of these meds are heavy in any way. Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten!” The younger boy whined, and continued, “Jeonghan hyung, the company, the doctor, the members, your family. Everyone has said that this is the best for you. You don’t have a say in this,” Hoshi had stood up to hold Jeonghan’s hands down. “Hyung, please.”

The man in the wheelchair had no option but to become limp in Hoshi’s hold. Flecks of irritation still on his face, he kept glaring at you with the world’s most disinterested look. “One month.”

“Hoshi-ssi told me three months…?”

“No. One month. You work for me, I decide the rules.”

He swiftly turned his wheelchair around and went back into his bedroom.

“He’s moody these days, his mind is really fragile. I hope you understand.” Hoshi spoke to you gently. “Yes, I do. I’ve dealt with more stubborn patients, don’t worry.”

“I’ll leave you to settle down, then! Annyeong!” And the cheery young man left, after bowing his goodbyes.

You had a sense of foreboding creeping into your heart. There was perfect silence in the apartment almost as if you were alone in the entire space. But you knew you were not. How was it possible that Yoon Jeonghan could exist so soundlessly? What if he was actually not- oh god, what if he had passed out or something? You quickly go to his bedroom and knock on the door frantically. “Please, Jeonghan-ssi!” Slowly you heard one breath being released. The door slowly creaked open. The apartment became full of life again as you felt Yoon Jeonghan’s beautiful face eyeing you curiously, like his new found toy.

The first week was a chaotic one, but by the time the fortnight had passed, you knew Yoon Jeonghan was now in your grip. Idle, he had all the time in the world to prank you and tease you, even while being in his wheelchair. Sometimes he would feign memory loss and forget who you were, other times he would ask you to change his shirt after he had dropped some soup on it. If your days at the hospital, where you were interning, were tiring, your nights were even more challenging. He would fall asleep without taking the prescribed medicines, shuffle out of his wheelchair without calling for your help as he should have, and behave just like any naughty kid would. And you had no option but to scold him each time. But you could never be too angry at the man. He would smile the most angelic smile at you, making your veins burst and melt at the same time, your anger dissipating into annoyance into laughter. Eventually you would smile to yourself every time he was successful in his teasing, each feat giving him immense happiness. One successful prank, and Yoon Jeonghan was a happy man.

There were other ways to coax him into submission too. Making him his favourite ramyeon to warm his body whenever he could not sleep in the winter nights. Watching Jun’s new drama with him, and giggling over the kissing scenes, as Jeonghan would give you live commentary on how Jun would probably be behind the scenes. Combing his hair, which was growing longer by the day, into neat braids.

You had, eventually, and unthinkably, fallen into a routine.

“What is it exactly that you do in the daytime?” He had asked you once, while you were preparing breakfast for him before leaving for college. “I go to med school. Then I intern at the local hospital.”

“I know. But that can’t be it. Surely school and internships can’t leave someone as dog-tired as you come home, Nurse L/N.” He looked at you with suspicious eyes, a mischievous spark in his doe eyes. You knew he was going to tease you now.

You had, honestly, gotten used to this, and started recognizing the signs. Before you would cry out in anguish every time his teasing got the better of you. ‘Jeonghan-ssi. I forbid you from speaking ill about my favourite pen. It’s my lucky pen. I always do well in exams I write with this.’ ‘Oh, save heavens I make fun of your dearest pen.’ And he had laughed, all while knowing he had hidden the pen below his pillow. He would give it to you the next morning, a wave of relief flashing over your tense features, extremely nervous over the exam that day. ‘Don’t worry. You’ve studied so much. You’ll do well, irrespective of the pen.’ And then he had the audacity to wink. Fucking wink. After all the superstitious stress he had put you through the entire night.

“Have you ever met any person from the medicine industry?”

“Nope. No people. Some annoying aliens though, prescribing bullshit medicines to me which I don’t even need. And of course, I’ve met you.”

“You don’t even know how stressful med school is. And then, at the internship, they’ll ask us interns to do everything. Right from sanitising the scalpels, to cleaning the floor if someone spills coffee, and the very next moment, they’ll ask me to perform a minor treatment, as if I wasn’t busy polishing the floor right now.” You huffed and puffed as you served Jeonghan the sunny-side-up. He had already put butter on his bread and began eating it.

“Okay, I’ll be leaving now. Your coffee is in this pot. I’ve baked some cookies last night, while you were on that live call with fans-”

“Ooh that’s why the entire house was smelling like dogshit.”

“SHUT UP! They taste very good.”

“Dogshit? You’ve tried? A true connoisseur-”

“Yoon Jeonghan. I’ll put you in timeout.”

“No!” He instantly put on his angelic smile, pouting, his features full of aegyo, and your momentary anger melts. Oh you don’t know what to do with this one.

20 days later, you could feel the wall between you two breaking down slowly. He had become more accepting to having you bossing around the house, keeping it clean and keeping him safe. Although you worked with him only for the night shift, the two of you would often have conversations, aside from the bickering, the nonsense he kept spewing and the teasing, that would actually be meaningful.

“You’re wearing your shirt the other way round, Nurse L/N,” he said as soon as you unlocked the door and stepped into the house after finishing your job.

“Oh!” You dropped your bags immediately and made your way to the washroom attached to your bedroom to change. “That’s why everyone on the subway kept staring at me.” When you returned to the hall, Yoon Jeonghan was sitting in the same way, flicking through his phone.

“You didn’t wear the shirt wrong in the morning?” He cocks an eyebrow, and you blush all over. He had caught you. Clearing your throat, “Umm, well…” He tilts his head, letting the evening sun fall on his hair and making it shimmer. “I had a date today.”

Immediately your veins start burning as he makes his way towards you, a small smile on his lips. “Nurse L/N! How did it go?” he asks you, then doesn’t wait for an answer. “Ahh well. That’s a wrong question. If you’re wearing your shirt the other way round, it must’ve gone well.” Peeking at you, to see your blush spreading all the way to your neck now. “Who is the unlucky person then?”

Argh. Not even 10 minutes into the house and he had started teasing you.

“He’s my friend from med school. We intern at the same hospital.”

“Show me a photograph.”

“Why?”

“I want to see!”

“Why? This is personal space.” You fold your arms, going along with his teasing.

“I want to see if he’s more handsome than me.” Jeonghan declares solemnly, as if that’s the most reasonable response. And when you burst out laughing, he laughs with you too, but continues whining to see the photo. And you have no option but to yield.

When Hoshi-ssi had approached you through his manager to take care of Jeonghan for the next three months till he recovered from the accident that had broken his left leg, you had been reluctant before saying yes. Firstly, you hadn’t believed that such a famous celebrity would be requesting for you, when they had all kinds of services at their disposal anyway. Then you learnt that you had taken care of Hoshi’s aunt when she was very ill and bed-ridden, and the good feedback had flown in from his family. Hoshi’s aunt had been your second patient, your first being your own mother, who had suffered from schizophrenia, before you had lost her two years ago. Although your eyes were still wet from those memories, you had decided to take nursing up as a side profession, to pay for the bills of med school, and put your nursing skills to use as well. Seven clients later, you had landed this job- taking care of the superstar idol, Yoon Jeonghan.

“It’s a night shift. So you’ll have to interact very little with the patient. Through the day, he can take care of himself. We just expect you to keep him company as his… mental state… is really weak right now, perhaps more than his physical state,” the manager had said.

You weren’t a Carat. You didn’t even follow idol groups. You didn’t want to seem like a golddigger, and you knew well that these celebrities could throw tantrums, or even worse, ill-treat you.

But when Hoshi-ssi personally called you, you simply could not refuse. There was something so soft in his voice, laced with worry whenever he spoke about his hyung, you simply knew you had to help this man out.

And you had taken up the job.

The apartment was big enough for you to stay comfortably. Jeonghan was non-interfering in your personal matters, mostly. From time to time, he would comment on your hairstyle, worry about the dark circles under your eyes, suggest a new skincare product, and enquire about your family in all politeness. You had thought the initial courtesy he showed would die down, and then he would minimise his interactions with you.

However, to your great (mis?)fortune, he stayed up every day, even after 25 days had passed, waiting for you to come back home. He would sit at the dinner table, as you made dinner in the kitchen. He would text you, while you were at work, sometimes meaningful questions, other times random thoughts, and even more rarely (thankfully), some photographs. Of his pet rock, of a new parcel delivered home, of takeout he had ordered for lunch instead of eating what you had cooked for him that morning, of himself.

Oh, of himself.

Those selcas were the rarest, and yet you kept wishing for him to send you one whenever your phone lit up with a notification. While you would sit in the break room, eating lunch between classes, you’d wait for it. When hanging out with friends after the internship, you’d wait for it. When your date from two weeks ago, Minho, took you out to coffee, you found yourself waiting for it again.

And when it did, you’d save it instantly. Take a screenshot if it was a one-time view. Stare at it endlessly, sometimes laughing at the filters he would set up, sometimes smiling wistfully into his beautiful brown irises, looking at the camera with odd affection. You knew he generally sent those photos to you to get a reaction before posting them on Weverse for his fans. But somewhere in your heart, you had begun to wish, he would click those photos for you. Not for his fans, not out of boredom, not just to check if his face was still handsome. Just for you.

But that was the least of your problems.

Your job had turned a month old, and you paced about in your bedroom, having packed your bags already, ready to be kicked out. Although Yoon Jeonghan had been fairly tolerable these last few days, one could never understand what went about in his mind.

You were mentally listing off all the things you’d have to worry about now. You’d have to go back to your shitty paid guest room, and pay rent. You’d have to go without the extra cash from this job, barely making enough to eat four meals a day. Only somewhere in the corner of your mind, another little thought came up- you’d have to live without the living breathing caramel sunshine that was Yoon Jeonghan. You had truly gotten used to living with him- as a roommate, of course. Even with his irks and mischief, his moments of vulnerability and his fake aegyo. You had learnt to not dislike him, and now he was getting too close to your heart.

A sharp knock on your bedroom door broke you out of your thoughts. “Nurse L/N? You didn’t come to wake me up?” He says it so normally, as if you’re not combusting with nerves right now. “It’s not 8 am yet, you don’t like it if I wake you up before that.”

He yawns. Lazy, warm, still in his night sleepsuit. His hair messy, his skin looking soft and his lips looking-

“What’s all these bags for?”

“Huh?”

“You’re leaving me?” He starts to pout, making your insides like molten lava.

“I- uh- one month-” you manage to stutter out, wondering if he had truly forgotten or if this was one of his pranks. “One month’s done? Yay! I am two months away from freedom. Nurse L/N, can you please order waffles for me today, I’ve been craving something sweet!” He whirls around his wheelchair after flashing his brightest, cutest smile at you. Left with your mouth open, you already start thinking whether all the ingredients for waffles could be found at home or not.

While you would be away during the day, his members or family would come visit him, to help him dress or bathe. Every other day, you’d see him sitting with a member of his group, hearing their laughter even before seeing them when you entered the house. Sometimes more than one would turn up, and it would be a party.

They always treated you with great respect. Joshua would profusely thank you, the polite charismatic gentleman he was, for taking care of Jeonghan. Seungcheol would ask you regularly whether you were well, whether his friend was irritating you, and whether the terms of work were suitable for you. The days when his members would arrive, usually Jeonghan would switch on live, for his fans. Mostly the lives would get over as soon as you would arrive, sometimes they would continue after you arrived as well, and you’d try your best to soundlessly work through the house so as to not disturb anyone. Contractually bound to secrecy and personally wishing for no involvement with his fans, this was an arrangement suiting you perfectly.

Except one day, when he was doing the live all on his own. You dropped a small glass, and hurt your finger in the broken glass. Almost on instinct, Jeonghan had shouted out, “Nurse L/N, are you okay? Did you break something?” Hearing voice full of concern, real genuine concern, you couldn't help but reply back. “Yeah I’m okay! Don’t worry, it’s just a glass.” “Hmm, okay.”

Cleaning up your wound, you had tiptoed towards Jeonghan’s room, where he was arranging legos while streaming live. Your heart was pounding in your chest, waiting for the call from his company, asking you to resign. Knocking softly on the door, you entered, trying to signal him to not mention you aloud and asking him if the company had reached out to him to announce your dreadful fate.

“Ou?”

Facepalming yourself as Jeonghan asked you in the loudest whisper possible, you gave up. Even if your earlier reply was probably not audible due to the distance, it was so clear now when Jeonghan visibly looked up at you, and asked you, in the most innocent way. “Ou? What are you saying?” You were about to leave the room, when suddenly he introduced you, out LOUD, in front of his fans. “Caratdeul! This is Nurse L/N, she’s taking good care of me! Don’t worry for me. Nurse L/N, please say hello!” By now, you were palpitating. Your phone would ring any moment. Any- “Hello, I am Nurse L/N. I’ll take your leave now, Jeonghan-ssi,” you said, without showing your face on the camera.

But Yoon Jeonghan had no intention to let you escape. “Nurse L/N,” he cried out, with a pout on his face, his eyes shining behind his glasses, “how does my lego model look?” It was a model of some sports car. “Hmm, looks good!” “Everyone!” A smug look appeared on Jeonghan’s face, “This is the first time Nurse L/N has said my work looks good! This is all thanks to our Carats.” Taking his self-absorbed, smiling-widely-till-his-eyes-disappeared moment as an excuse, you left the room. Because another minute, and you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from crossing a line.

You were well into the second month, when the panic attacks started.

They were most likely triggered by the doctor’s report that morning. Jeonghan-ssi, I’m afraid you’ll need more time to recover. Although your femur’s not broken, it’s extremely weak, and your legs cannot support your weight now. Even after recovery, I would advise you to not dance heavily for at least another month.

You had been awoken by a sharp scream in the middle of the night, no scratch that, early in the morning, as you could see the first rays of dawn streaming in through the window. Immediately you rushed to Jeonghan’s room, who slept with his door unlocked for such emergency situations. “Are you okay?”

And instead of the calm fairy you expected, you were met by a ghost.

Yoon Jeonghan was sitting upright in his bed, sweat pouring down from his forehead and arms, his long blonde hair dishevelled, and his chest heaving for air. The worst was over, you reckoned, as you gently stepped closer to him.

For the first time in two months, you saw fear in Yoon Jeonghan’s eyes. As soon as you came near the bed, he reached out to grip your hands. You whispered to him, endlessly rubbing his arms and his back, it’ll be alright, you’re okay, don’t worry, i’m here, you’ll be okay, you’re safe with me, until you could feel his heart rate slow down to a normal pace.

He then looked at you, in such an inexplicably fond way, like-

Like you were his light.

Like you were the stars in his dark night.

Like you were his world.

And you succumbed to the urge of hugging him. You pressed him gently to your body, trying to relay your warmth to his colder body, initially hesitant as to how he would receive your action.

To your surprise, he pulled you in closer. You realised it was his anxiety speaking, his fingers still trembling from the shock. And not his need to be close to you, as your dumb brain hoped somehow.

But then, he kept the hope alive.

“Stay with me tonight, Y/N.”

The entire day, you were extremely distracted, both in school and at work. Fumbling with things, clumsily dropping things, and forgetting important tasks. Yoon Jeonghan had called you by your first name for the first time. This single thought kept spiralling in your head, finding root in some delusion or the other. The entire night, you had spent with him. Hugging him first, then he had laid down and put his head on your lap. And you had stroked his hair, until he was asleep. You had sent a text to Seungcheol, asking him to come and stay with Jeonghan, as you didn’t want to leave him alone like this but you couldn’t miss classes today. He had immediately agreed, and turned up sharp at 7 am. Instead of waking up Jeonghan, you had left your blanket next to him to fool him of your presence, and left the house, leaving the man in his best friend’s care.

Last night had been a monstrous event for the tiny feeling you felt in your heart every time you thought of Jeonghan, which was actually nearly every second. Long forgotten was Minho and his stupid face and stupid voice and stupid pick-up lines. The only voice which sent warm electric shocks through your entire body was the one that belonged to Yoon Jeonghan. You kept texting Seungcheol, asking him for updates, whether Jeonghan had eaten, whether he had bathed, whether he had taken his afternoon nap, whether he was talking normally, whether his blood pressure was normal, so on and on. Even when his replies satisfied you, you were always nervous about what was happening back home.

Home.

Was the house you spent your nights in now home? Was the subway station you had now gotten used to getting off at home? Was the bedroom you slept in now home?

Or was he home?

When you did return to your home, you found the man who had occupied all your thoughts through the day sitting next to Seungcheol, giggling about something on his phone. “Oh you’re here!” Seungcheol says, popping up when he spots you enter. “Hi. I came home early.”

Jeonghan’s smile disappears, and you tense up already. You have no idea what’s coming.

“I’ll be leaving then. He’s been asking for you all day anyway,” Seungcheol smirks against Jeonghan’s little rebellious whines, and your stomach churns in worry. He bows to you, and leaves. Leaving you with the blonde little elephant in the room.

“So. How are you feeling, Jeonghan-ssi?” You ask after a while, breaking the ice finally. He shifts towards one side of the sofa, and you instinctively step forward, wondering if he wanted to get up into his wheelchair now, but he only pats the seat next to him, asking you to sit down.

“I’m sorry for last night, Nurse L/N.” There, back to just a fucking nurse. It was a slip of tongue. “You don’t have to be. This is what I’m here for. This is what you’re paying me for,” you chuckle, but he doesn’t even smile. “But I invaded your personal space-” you lean forward, hold his hand, and say, “Hey. Don’t worry. I hugged you out of my own accord.” “Because you wanted to?” he whispers, and you whisper back, your heart beating in your throat, your voice hoarse with emotion, “Yes, because I wanted to.”

“Can you do it again then?”

Quirking your eyebrows, you realised he’s being dead serious. There’s no way he could lie and tease you with such vulnerability in his eyes. And so you hug him. It’s not as close as last night, but the embrace still makes your spine tingle with happiness. You hope against hope he cannot hear your heartbeat.

When you try to pull away, he lets you, but keeps holding on to your hand.

“I’m- umm, what they call, clingy. I appreciate physical comfort. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable. You can move away when you like.”

“No. I don’t feel uncomfortable at all. If you like, we could hug more often. Or you could hold my hand. Or put your head on my shoulder or…” you didn’t want to think of his head on your lap again. You would not be able to control the urge to kiss his forehead and eyes and tiny button nose and of course, the pretty lips.

“But you have a boyfriend…”

“Huh?” You’re taken aback now. What was this? “I have a boyfriend I don’t even know about?”

“That boy, Minho? You went out on dates with him?” He looks confused. You bite your lip, “Oh. No, I lost interest. We didn’t date, at least seriously.”

“Oh," you saw the clouds in his face clearing.

So he was worried about your boyfriend being uncomfortable with a grown man hugging you for emotional support? Jeez. What did he think your taste in men was?

"Can I make another request?" God, what's this tone? You had never heard it before but you could sure get used to it. Pouty-faced, soft voiced Jeonghan was definitely your favourite. As if you could ever say no to him.

"Hmm, go on?"

"Can you sleep in my room today?"

You wish you could say no to him.

“In your bed?”

“No, I think your bed can be shifted to my room? It’ll fit also. It’s a single, thin bed.”

You know it will fit. You also know your room is big enough to fit another queen-sized bed. But when you’re that close, how will you be able to tolerate the distance?

“Hmm. I think it could fit. But I think it’s too heavy for me to carry today… maybe I can ask some help from neighbours or friends tomorrow and set it up in your room? Meanwhile today… I could bring a mattress and sleep on the floor.”

“No!” He cried out. “I mean- you can always sleep next to me.” He smiles, a little angelic, a lot devilish. You know he’s teasing now.

You take away your hand from his, and you can see him begin to whine at the loss of warmth. “On the floor then.”

But yet again, as dawn breaks, he screams awake again, and you notice tears rolling down his cheeks also. He hides his face from you when you sit next to him to calm him down, embarrassed of his tears. You wipe them away with your hands (and not with kisses).

And that’s how he falls asleep again. He lies down fairly far away from you, at least an arm’s distance. But your hand is still in his, and you can’t sleep, overly conscious about drifting towards him in your sleep. You’re content just taking in his beautiful face through the sunrise, drinking up his features like you’re parched, wishing you could put your fingers at each spot on his face, feeling the bone and the muscle and the skin, feeling his breath.

“If you don’t mind me asking… what triggered your nightmare?” You ask him the next morning. Good heavens, it’s a free Sunday after ages, and you had been looking forward to this for weeks now. You had so many plans- ordering food for brunch, catching up on your favourite k-drama, buying a new pair of shoes. But you realised- all of these plans involved Jeonghan. You couldn’t imagine doing any of this without him.

You’re sitting with Jeonghan in the small balcony of his apartment, which overlooks the city almost entirely. It’s a serene view, the sunshine not too harsh, and Yoon Jeonghan hasn’t let go of your hand ever since last night. You hadn’t pushed him too far for answers yesterday, thinking it was a one-time thing. But today, you were getting more curious and worried.

“Ummm… I’m not too sure myself? I just have a lot of thoughts these days.” You stroke the thumb of his hand which lies in your palm now. “What thoughts? Do you miss your members? Your fans?” “Yeah, I do. But it’s not like that just…” You know he’s hesitating, but he’s seconds away from crying. “Jeonghan-ssi. Go on. I’m here.”

After a VERY long pause, he says softly.

“You know how the doctor said I’ll need at least another month, even after this hiatus of three months, before I can go back to my normal self, being an idol.” You hum in between his pauses. “I’m scared, Nurse L/N. I’m scared… they’ll forget me. And even if they don’t, I’ll be disappointing them. I won’t be able to meet my fans’ expectations anymore. They won’t get what they deserve from me.”

“No one deserves anything from you. You don’t owe them anything.”

“You don’t understand,” you can sense his voice getting hoarse and louder. “Fans aren’t easy to explain to- and to be honest, which fan wouldn’t be upset seeing their favourite idol isn’t going to dance well any more? Hell, I’m probably no one’s favourite idol anymore.” He looks away from you, his hand already retracted from yours.

“Jeonghan-ssi. Firstly, if you really care about your fans so much, they most likely care about you a lot too. Of course, they’ll understand. And secondly, have you checked twitter? Or instagram? They keep talking about your health, and look forward to your live videos-”

He smiles, “Yeah, they’re asking about you too.” You ignore the statement and continue, “I understand where your vulnerability is coming from- but you can only improve your mindset by not thinking of the worst case possible.”

He doesn’t say anything. His face is still sullen, dark clouds storming in his eyes.

“Jeonghan-ssi, you’re not that easy to forget, and less easier to replace. I don’t think your fans will forget you so soon.”

He looks at you, his lips pursed in a hopeful trance. You know he’s still extremely scared of the future, but then, who wasn’t? It was only natural to be afraid of uncertainty. You gently pat his head, and ask, “Is one of your band members going to come today? For bathing and dressing you…?”

Frankly, you didn’t understand why they couldn’t keep a full-time caregiver who would be professionally trained to do all the work required. But you had seen Jeonghan’s attitude the first time you suggested this. No. I’m not an object for pity, and caregivers will pity me. Plus I don’t trust them. I trust you, I trust my members. I’m only safe in your hands. You had wanted to ask why he trusted you- was it because he knew you really needed the money and a good place to stay? But you had simply nodded and left the issue.

“No. I didn’t ask any of them to come today. They have a shooting schedule today.” His voice sounded even more feeble. He probably missed being on set with them, laughing as a whole, playing games, singing and enjoying themselves. From the videos of their show, Going Seventeen, which Jeonghan had himself shown to you, you had noticed how solid their bond was, and how comfortable they were around each other, easier than friends, stronger than family members.

“Oh.” This meant you would have to bathe him. Shit.

“I’m throwing my shirt!” “Yeah.” You waited outside the door of the washroom as Jeonghan stripped inside, and threw his shirt through the slightly open door. You had become extremely flustered at the thought of dressing and undressing him, but he had provided a simple solution.

Although you doubted how simple it was, when you could hear him struggling to get his pants off. “Nurse L/N. I think I’ll just bathe with my pants on!” “No! Don’t be a dirty boy. Do you want me to help?” You asked, breathless. “No,” you could hear his sigh, “I’m fine. I’ve got it off. Here, catch!”

Then there was the sound of the shower opening, the slight squeak of a tap, and a tune being emitted by the man showering there. You left quietly.

It was around 3 in the afternoon when you both had finished bathing, lunch, folding up laundry (you) and singing random songs (him), watching one episode of a k-drama (him) and wondering why hearts ached without any attack (you). “I’m going to take you out. Enough of staying indoors. It’s eating into your brain.” You announce.

He almost jumps with you, but then winces. “But where? I don’t want to make a public appearance to collect sympathy and pity.” “You’ll see. You said you trust me, right?” He smiles, “Ayy. Human trust doesn’t go that far.” But you can see the excitement build in his eyes. “It’s a surprise.” “Surprises are not nice.” You tie up his eyes with a blindfold, leaving him no option but to huff and puff and whine and sulk.

But this surprise is nice. Jeonghan’s face lights up like a million watt bulb when you take off his blindfold and reveal him sitting in his dance practice room, all his members standing around him. He squeals in joy, and they all start talking instantly, making it too loud a chaos for you to decipher. Hell, you haven’t even been able to tell their voices apart yet.

The man you know as Channie, comes to you and bows. “I’m so thankful to you for bringing Hyung here. Thank you for taking care of him!” Another man, Seokmin, joins him, and they both smile at you widely. You blush, suddenly caught off guard by the attention, and excuse yourself from the room, leaving the boys to their antics. You text Jeonghan that you’re going to meet up with your childhood best friend, and you’ll be back to pick him up whenever he calls.

But he never calls you back. The members carry him around- they go to some restaurant, eat barbecue and drink a hell lot of beer, and then they drop him home. You had returned a couple of hours back, and when you see three strong able-handed men entering the house with Jeonghan, you take the chance.

“Jeonghan-ssi. Do you still want me to bring my bed to your room?” Although the other three men stare at Jeonghan quizzically, he solemnly nods. Seungkwan asks you, “Are you sure that’s okay with you? I t’s a really weird request!” Mingyu adds, “Yeah, Hyung, if you need her anytime, you can just call out for her, she’s anyway in the same house.” But Jeonghan won’t have it. “Yah, please. Nurse L/N, please.” You sigh and say, “He’s not feeling strong enough to sleep alone. It’s okay, I’ve done this before. I understand the need for physical comfort.” “Are you sure?” Seungcheol asks you, and you nod your consent. Then he says, “We’ll help you bring the bed then!”

That night, Jeonghan slept on his own bed, and you on your own, but he said he felt more relief knowing you were around him. I’m worried for you too, you know. Worried? What on earth for? Nothing, just. I’m feeling over-protective for everyone who matters to me right now. It was safe to say you slept in a constant dream-like state. Jeonghan did not wake up that night, and even if he did, it didn’t wake you up. You woke up only to your alarm next morning, breaking your haze of dusty, autumn dreams of blonde ponytails, flowers in a garden, and a pretty face belonging to the man lying next to you.

Third month in, and you were feeling a little under the weather. Perhaps it was the flu passing around in your college for a while now, but you had been strictly banned from going to the hospital (an order you had cried and begged your supervisor to take back, fearing this was the premature end to your internship, but he had calmly asked you to come back when you were well). Jeonghan, meanwhile, was now out of his wheelchair, and simply walking about using a pair of crutches. He was in a better mental state now, as the nightmares became fewer and less intense, and his general moodiness also dissipated.

But of late, he was being too affectionate towards you. Perhaps it was the reason behind you falling in. His sickly sweet smile whenever you complimented him for walking well, his blush of shy satisfaction when he completed any small task you gave him. One day you stepped into the house and almost screamed before the man sitting on the sofa turned around and showed you that it was none but Jeonghan, with his hair dyed black now.

And dear heavens. That black mop of hair would kill you.

For, if blonde Jeonghan was an angel, an embodiment of sunshine, a picture of innocence, black-haired Jeonghan was all of that but a slight rough edge to him, making his features even sharper and his eyes even deeper. It was all you needed to stab a dagger in your heart every day. Now that you’re stuck at home on a leave for 10 days, you have nothing to do except look at this man, laugh at his antics and calm down the growing anxiety in your heart as to what you’d do after these three months got over and your contract would expire. And even though you never voiced your worries out loud, Jeonghan somehow caught them.

“How many months are left till you graduate?” “About five months?” “Hmm. You can actually stay in my apartment throughout and not go back to the shitty place you showed me pictures of.” You gawk, “You’re crazy, how could I ever do that!” “No I’m serious, Nurse L/N.” You stick your tongue out, not interested in his pity offers. “You know what your problem is, Nurse L/N?” Your face is still turned away from him. “You’re just so stuffed with pride. That’s why you’re not taking the medicines I’m giving you at correct times.”

Oh, how the tables have turned.

“I’m fine.” You stress on every syllable, but Yoon Jeonghan can’t seem to take the hint and buzz off.

And that’s your biggest issue. He doesn’t even tease you as much as he is genuinely caring for you now. As if you’re really his friend. You wonder what has brought about this kind of absurd change in him. It’s not like anything had changed in how he saw you. Nurse L/N.

You were wrong about his teasing nature mellowing down. The next morning, when your supervisor had called, you had been in the washroom, and instead of just letting the call go until you returned, he had picked up the call and introduced himself as your Oppa.

Indigestion just had to hit you that very day.

You had no option but to let your blood boil in embarrassment as you overheard the entire conversation, helpless and frustrated.

“Yes, umm… she’s really stupid. She keeps forgetting stuff, you must know hahaha. No wonder she’s totally forgotten about mentioning me. I’m her local guardian haha.”

You hoped he would clarify something about the Oppa tag. Mention that he wasn’t your boyfriend. Mention that he was your brother or something. Or even an older friend, but in vain. Jeonghan was hell-bent on spreading rumours in the hospital about your love life, one would think.

“Yes! I know. She’s recovering now, I’ve been taking good care of her.”

“Oh no, she doesn’t have any family per se. She just has me.”

“Aaah no no, it’s no like that…” you could hear his voice ambiguously trail off, leaving several loose ends. This must’ve been a question about that-

“Oh sure! Thank you. I’ll let her know asap. Yes, yes tomorrow. Thank you.”

After three minutes when you emerged from the washroom, pissed and stressed, Yoon Jeonghan was smiling to himself while watching a video on Youtube.

“What was that call for?”

“Which call?”

You stare. He budges. “Oh, your supervisor had called. He was asking if you can join back tomorrow. I said yes.”

“Why did you pick up?”

“Why not! Would you rather lose the one chance your supervisor gave you to come back?” He smirks, knowing he had hit your weak spot. “But even then. You’re not my Oppa.” “Huh? I’m four years older than you!”

“Jeonghan-ssi. Just because you’re older than me doesn’t mean you can introduce yourself as my Oppa. Are you dumb or do you not understand the connotations of such an introduction?”

There was a pause.

“What would you suggest I’d introduce myself as? I didn’t want to say my name-”

“Her friend would just do. Or her neighbour. Or her classmate from college.”

“Those wouldn’t have had similar connotations? Any boy answering any girl’s call would have similar connotations, Y/N-aah.”

Another pause. Maybe he hadn’t realised he had called you by your first name.

“Then you should have just introduced yourself as the patient I’m taking care of in the night shift. Everyone knows about that, Jeonghan-ssi. Honestly, anything but Oppa. You’re not my Oppa.”

Before he could reply, you take your phone from the table and lock yourself into your room for the rest of the morning, too overwhelmed to say anything else or even look into the eyes of that dangerous man.

There had been very little conversation between the two of you through that day and the next, before you left for work again. He had tried a lot to initiate conversation with you, weird questions interrupting the silence now and then. But you were honestly too stressed to take any of his excuses and forgive him.

How dare he call himself your Oppa, when in three weeks he was going to simply forget you totally? How dare he even call you by your first name and break the professional formalities that were standard? You had thought the first time, that night, had been a slip of tongue in feverish delusion. This was no delusion. In bright daylight, he had crossed the line and called you by your name.

Although it shouldn’t matter much, you rationaled. Oppa could mean a dozen different things. No one would assume it meant boyfriend.

But oh, you were so so wrong. You knew it as soon as you stepped into the hospital after an extremely tiring day at university, and saw people staring at you. You reached your supervisor’s cabin to mark your attendance, and he too gave you the weirdest looks. The peak of the entire farce was when Hyerin, your closest friend at the internship, whispered to you after hugging you warmly to welcome you back, “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND?!” Aargh.

“He’s not a boyfriend. He’s just the patient I’m taking care of. He randomly messed with me and introduced himself as my Oppa.”

“BUT I HAD NO IDEA HE’S LIKE A YOUNG GUY? I thought he’s a sixty-something fellow, no offence to old men who call themselves Oppa-”

“Yeah he’s a young guy. I told you he had broken his leg?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. Breaking legs doesn't require the person to be old. It was an accident while he was crossing the street.”

“Still! This changes thing, hmmmm” she smirks, and you know where it’s headed. “Being in close quarters with a man only slightly older than you… are you sure he’s not dashingly sexy? Not a sugar daddy type? I could come and help you in your nursing job then.”

“No, and no. He is pretty good-looking, but I don’t care. Now move and let me start my work before boss comes and sends me on a leave again.” Hyerin wasn’t that close to you to know about the deepest secret of your heart. No one except your one childhood bestie knew about it. And you both had sworn on your childhood rings to never divulge secrets.

To make matters worse, you played a voice note sent by Jeonghan loudly, as soon as you got out of the operation theatre. Right in the corridor.

In your defence, he had sent three messages just before and after that, definitely impatient that you hadn’t heard his voice note, saying URGENT!, and you had fallen for the bait. Instantly playing it, without realising your volume was full, you cringed and almost threw your phone away instantly.

Napipopeta piripu pipiretta. Napi-

“You’re watching Instagram reels at work?!” Somehow your supervisor had also come out into the corridor and had heard the voice note. “You know social media is banned when you’re on duty!”

“Sir, I was just listening-”

“No arguments! So irresponsible. You’ll be staying back till 10 pm today, Y/N!”

“Okay Nurse L/N. Enough of the silent treatment. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be something I’m not… I just didn’t think of the consequences as much. Sorry, please?” He gave you the softest puppy eyes ever given by humankind, as you ate the ramen you had made for dinner.

You hadn’t uttered a single word since returning, just too upset and tired. But now you had to say it. “Was that voice note a joke?”

His eyes widened, “I- I just sent it… thinking your mood would become better hearing it… my fans really like that song…”

You bite your lower lip.

“My boss heard me playing it. That’s why I came home late.”

He stays silent for a minute. “I’m sorry if it got you into trouble. I just thought…”

And out of spite, just out of spite, and pent-up emotions spilling over, you say the worst thing ever.

“Your voice can never make my mood better, Jeonghan-ssi.”

Something had snapped between the two of you since that day.

You had tried to build up a wall between you two, trying to keep distance that you felt was necessary to get your heart used to what was just coming within two weeks. He tried to break that wall, going out of the way to be with you, even helping you study for an exam coming up. He was needing lesser and lesser care by the day, as he regained strength in his legs, and was quite determined to live by his old habits. He would leave the house without waiting for your support, he would cook sometimes, he would also do the laundry.

He did everything to make you feel lesser and lesser wanted in the house.

And you really took the cue. You started minimising your interactions. Even sleeping in the same room became too difficult for you, and you spent many hours on the couch before going to your bed, waiting for him to fall asleep. You would limit conversation to the necessities, taking all possible steps to reduce his dependency on you.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks you, one night, after you both had lied down in your beds but it was obvious that sleep eluded you.

“What?” You whisper back, hesitant. “This. Becoming far away from me.”

There are massive pauses between your replies, and you can hear him holding in his breath through the entire pause.

“You anyway don’t need me much. It’s only best if I move away from you.”

“Physically perhaps- but I thought we could be…”

“Hmm?”

“Friends. Are we not friends?”

Friends. You had stopped wanting to be friends for a very long time now.

“It’s not possible. You and I belong to different worlds, as cliche as it sounds. We can’t be friends.”

“Why not?”

“Have you seen how your fans have taken to stalking me on my social media? I’ve had to delete my accounts everywhere. If they find out who I am, they’re not just going to kill me, but the contract and all the payment I got from this job will be forfeited.”

“Kill you? Isn’t that too extreme?” You can hear him shuffle closer to your end in his bed, his voice closer to you now.

“They’re going to brand me as a golddigger. And even if they don’t kill me, I’ll definitely kill myself then.”

“There, again you and your pride.”

“You’re laughing at my self-respect?”

“No, I respect it. Not many can be so stoic.”

“Goodnight, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Nurse L/N.”

You don’t want to reply. You pretend you’re asleep.

“Y/N-aah.”

You know he’s heard the change in your breath and he continues. “There are really just six days left?”

“We can reduce it if you like.”

“Can you not be so snappy? It’s really not funny anymore.” He sounds agitated, his voice on the verge of breaking.

“Are you really saying this to me? Why do I have the responsibility to make it seem funny? You have a problem with me having real emotions too?”

“I never said I have a problem with anything. But this attitude of yours is, frankly, uncalled for, in my opinion. Or you’re not telling me something I should know. And this is bothering me.”

Another pause before you reply.

“I’m going to leave in six days, Yoon Jeonghan. You better stop being bothered by me.”

You don’t know what’s come over you. Suddenly you can’t breathe in the house anymore. You don’t even want to call it home these days.

Ever since that conversation, Jeonghan had stopped putting in as much effort. You had far overstayed your welcome, and he really needed you to be gone now. Maybe get a girlfriend to visit him. Must’ve been sad without sex for three months for him. Your heart ached every morning when you saw him as soon as your eyes fluttered open- an angelic face, his mouth slightly parted open as he slept in his dream world. You wanted to kiss him (honestly every minute nowadays you did, even if you burnt yourself up, that desire did not disappear.)

It was a crush, you convinced yourself. Finals were coming up, you’d get busy, you’d forget about him. Easy peasy. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to delete the little gallery of pictures you had formed in your phone- including photos he had sent you, photos of him that you had taken, and the three photos of you two together.

The first had been clicked on the night when he had let go of his wheelchair and first taken up the crutch. Many of his bandmates were there, and they had all cheered loudly. Because you had been standing right next to him, holding his arm to stabilise him, Wonwoo had clicked a photo of you too right at the moment when he was looking into your eyes with the joy of letting go of the wheelchair, and you were looking right back at him. It was a coincidental photo, and a photo meant to be only of Jeonghan, but you kept smiling when you looked at it. It almost gave the illusion that it was … for lack of better words, a photograph of affection.

The second was a selca. Correction, it was Jeonghan’s selca, which he had clicked without you even knowing, so you were obliviously watching the drama on the television, eating ice cream. He had even posted it on Weverse, blurring you out obviously. But his fans had caught the second hand in the photograph, zoomed into it, and somehow figured out it was a female hand, and then conducted several polls amongst themselves whether it was his girlfriend, his sister, his mother, his friend or his nurse (how would they ever know though?). The results of the poll had been varied, and some had even claimed: guys we don’t know if the nurse and the girlfriend are different people hehehe you know what i mean!! Ugh, these conspiracy theories.

The third one had been the most recent one. You were on a video call with your childhood friend, and he had just entered the room without knocking. He had said hi to your friend, who had smirked and giggled and tried to make suggestive comments until you winked at her to shut the fuck up. Finally he had left after asking you some really redundant questions, making you wonder why he had even entered your room. Your best friend had taken a screenshot of the two of you talking, and she had practically squealed over call god, he’s so handsome!!!! And he’s so in love with you!!! Did you see how he was doting on your face with every word you uttered?! AWWWW! Y/N, I’d say wife him up immediately!

You had laughed then, and you laughed at it now. Every time you scrolled through this secret gallery, you had nothing but a fond smile tugging at your lips, no matter how distant you wanted to make yourself from the man, who had slowly, but surely, taken up all of your heart, and was showing absolutely no intention to leave.

You packed your bags and stood in front of the door, waiting for Jeonghan to bring whatever he was looking for in his bedroom. He had vehemently protested against you helping him, and as a result, a search that could’ve been completed in seconds, was now taking minutes.

Eventually, he appeared. He had a bag for you in his outstretched hand, and you silently took it from him. Peeping in, you saw everything was wrapped with paper. “What’s this for?” “Thank you, Nurse L/N for taking care of me.” He smiled, continuing, “I don’t know why you’re angry at me. But I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way. Please accept my gift.” Your heart was melting with each step he took towards you, eventually so close that you could see your reflection in his eyes. It was too close for you to breathe, but you realised you wanted to get used to this proximity.

“Thank you, then. Jeonghan-ssi, you’ve been an excellent employer these past three months. Thank you for taking good care for me, as well” and you lightly bow.

“How do I see you again?” You’re stunned. Why does he want to see you? “Do I have to break my leg again?” his whispers grow ragged.

You try to crack a joke, “Or you could break an arm,” but he doesn’t smile. He seems impatient for an actual answer. “Or you could call me. We can hang out once every couple of months, if you’re free. Or you could just… you know, call and talk.”

He wants to say something, but your phone begins to ring. Your best friend must have arrived downstairs to give you a ride to her house. You had decided to stay with her for the remainder of the university term.

“Goodbye, Yoon Jeonghan-ssi.”

“Goodbye, Y/N. I’ll miss having you around.”

You don’t believe him. You think he’s just being nice. But oh, somewhere deep down, you hope it’ll be true. You smile at him, tight-lipped, but genuine. He doesn’t smile back.

And just like that, you’re gone.

The next month, you don’t hear from him at all. Your internship has also ended, and you’ve started studying hard, applying to various specialisation courses, and basically trying to forget him. It works, frankly, because with your closest friend around, you have your mind on other things. Such as her extremely toxic situationship, which she doesn’t even realise is harming her, but you keep warning her to step off. Such as her mother baking cookies for you as winter sets in. Such as visiting your own mother’s grave once every week, to give her flowers, a new ritual you’ve set up.

It’s on one of these bus rides to the park which has her grave that you cross the hospital where you had your internship. And you spot, your eyes instantly going wide, a certain familiar someone standing at the bus stop right outside the hospital.

You’d have recognised him from miles away. Even if it’s really late in the evening, the twilight setting in, you can recognise him.

You want to look away and continue the ride to the original destination. You want to ignore him. You want to push away the thought of him waiting (for who?) in front of the hospital where you worked at while staying with him.

But you can’t. You immediately step out of the bus, paying your fare, and walk up a little bit to reach the spot he’s standing. He’s looking the other way so he doesn’t really notice when you come and stand behind him. Until you cough a bit.

And you’ve never seen Yoon Jeonghan smile this brightly before. Never. Not while you were in his house, not even in the videos of him that miraculously come up on your Youtube algorithm now.

“What are you doing here?” you don’t know why, but your voice cannot go beyond a whisper. In the empty streets after dark, he can hear you clearly though.

“You came.” he whispers back.

“You were waiting for me?”

“Who else would I wait for in front of the hospital you worked at?”

“I don’t work there anymore. My internship is over.”

“So I heard. But I had no idea where you live now, and apparently it’s not safe to go to your university if I have to keep you a secret.”

“But waiting in front of a hospital in the dark is safe?”

“It’s a hospital. No one is looking at me here. I’m not the important person here, for anyone.”

You can’t help but say, “You are, for me.”

The stars are out, the cars are flashing by, and you’re walking alongside Yoon Jeonghan on a silent road. Sometimes your arms brush, sometimes he smiles too much for your heart to take, sometimes you look at him for so long that he breaks eye contact. For once in your life, you don’t want to overthink this. Even if tomorrow you wake up and realise this was a dream, you want to live the best dream of your life till the end.

“Hey,” he whispers when you zone out. You’re standing under a streetlamp now, the smell of flowers from the trees around you filling the air. You’re 100 metres away from a tteokbokki stall, and you want to ask him if he wants to eat some, but he holds your hand at that moment.

“Y/N.”

“No more Nurse L/N?”

“You’ve stopped being Nurse L/N for me for a long time now.”

Your heart stops. He grazes his thumb over your pulse point. You think you’ll combust.

“Your palm is sweaty, Y/N. Are you nervous?”

How can you not be when he’s right there, in front of you, so close… but still so far? You don’t know how you landed up like this, after an entire month of avoidance, but knowing that he came every evening to look for you in front of your hospital, waiting till the shift was scheduled to get over, has melted your heart beyond control.

“You’ve cut your hair again.” You finally say.

“Is it looking nice?”

“Hmm… makes you look sharper.”

“Huh?” His eyes are becoming wide now.

You take your other hand out of your pocket and touch his hair with a featherlike touch. “But it’s still so pretty. You won’t cut me, will you?”

He smiles, and leans in, and you can sense him breathing you in. You must be smelling like sweat and grime by now but he doesn’t seem to care. Eventually he places his chin on your head and time has stopped. You can’t help but snuggle into the warm cavity of his body, gently placing yourself against his strong chest, as you can feel now. And somehow, his hands leave yours, and wrap themselves around your back.

It’s a hug.

And then it’s a kiss on your forehead. A kiss on your scalp. And a kiss in your hair. And you snuggle deeper and deeper into him.

He pats your hair gently, and you mumble into his chest. “What took you so long, Hannie? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” it’s half feverish you know, you don’t even expect him to reply. And yet he does.

“Oh, but Y/N-ah, I’ve been coming to you forever, why did you keep pushing me away, baby?” And you spread your hands around him too, pulling him deeper, until you’re both too squished, and have to move apart for air.

But only a little bit, just enough so that you can see his face, and he holds your face in his big palms.

“Y/N-ah. Do you want to come home with me? I want to watch a new episode of the k-drama with you. I’ve really fallen behind it without having you to watch with.”

You smile, his eyes glitter up with the reflection.

“Of course. But only if you promise to hug me more.”

“No. No more hugs. Can I kiss you?”

You suck in a deep breath, lips parting already, at the wonderful tingle going through your body. You could cry right now, with the time he takes to move in and place his lips on yours gently.

And you do cry. One stray tear escapes your closed eyes, and he kisses that away too.

“Hannie…”

“I’m yours, Y/N-ah. If you’ll have me, forever yours.”

“Of course I’ll have you.”

“Sorry if I kept you waiting for long.”

“It’s okay. You’re worth the wait, anyway.” You smile as you press a kiss on his nose, his little button nose you’ve always found cute. You stand up on your toes and kiss his eyes and his eyebrows and his forehead, but then he stops you. “Baby, let’s go home and then you can kiss me?”

How can you ever say no to Yoon Jeonghan? How could he even think that you’d say no?

“Of course, Hannie. I love you.”

“And I love you, baby.” Another kiss on your lips, and you know you’ve seen heaven. Because if Yoon Jeonghan isn’t the equivalent of heaven, you don’t want to know what is.

#jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #svt #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt fluff #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen fanfic #MY FIRST SEVENTEEN FIC LESSGO #svt my heart #the night shift

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uriekukistan · 2 months

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mutsurie…… and my boy aura……..

for mutsurie :3

when i started shipping it: literally on my first watch during the auction…it makes so much sense idk

my thoughts: when the two emotionally damaged characters who dont trust anyone enough to get close to them trust each other enough to get close 😖 also the fact that urie recognized that mutsuki was afab during the auction and he literally never said anything about it he was just kinda “oh okay” and never treated mutsuki any differently…it’s interesting because mutsuki really idolized sasaki for that same thing but never realized urie did the same thing for him…idk much to think about with that one

what makes me happy about them: see past comment, also they both care for each other unconditionally and i think they both need that because they both kinda care for themselves conditionally if that makes sense.

what makes me sad about them: okay maybe im too angsty rn but i dont think they have a happy ending together, or at least not for a while. like i said, they care for each other unconditionally but care for themselves conditionally, and i think before they can truly be happy together they need time apart to care for themselves…

things done in fanfic that annoys me: when they make mutsuki super emotionally and physically weak so he relies on big strong man in control of his emotions urie to put him back together…like it sometimes feels like its putting mutsuki in this traditionally feminine damsel in distress position and thats kinda ehhhh…also bold of you to assume urie is in control of his emotions or that mutsuki isnt strong or capable.

things i look for in a fanfic: im starving for content so the bar is pretty low….good spelling and grammar is nice :D

who i’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: i think they’d be better alone if not together…i’ve seem mutsaura floating around recently and while im intrigued i do think it has toxic potential which is interesting to read and think about, but i just want them to be happy 😞 healthy relationships only for my pookies

my happily ever after: they take some time apart like at the end of re where mutsuki is not even in tokyo and they learn their own value as individuals (ideally separate from their jobs) and then they reconnect after that…not that i’m saying you “have to love yourself to love someone else” and i dont think in their time apart they wouldnt still love each other, i just want them to have a happy healthy relationship 😞

who is the big spoon/little spoon: at the beginning urie is definitely big spoon and mutsuki is little spoon, but when they get more comfortable, they switch around sometimes. i think urie really likes being the little spoon…not that he would admit it

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: parallel play, like just comfortable silence and mutsuki’s reading while urie’s painting or something

tbh i dont think that much abt aura so i’ll try my best 😭🙏

how i feel about this character: i like how much i…don’t like him if that makes sense? his decisions irritate me but also they are indicative of how complex he is. interesting guy.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: as aforementioned i have seen mutsaura floating around and i have definitely found it intriguing…may i also propose him with higemaru? they kinda give that opposites black cat golden retriever couple vibe idk maybe im crazy

my non-romantic otp for this character: from the scene where he and mutsuki are trying to intercept touka and miza from extracting kaneki from the dragon, i really liked his interactions with higemaru and hsiao so i like the idea of them as like a besties group idk

my unpopular opinion about this character: im not sure i have one? idk

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: for him to get closure from his aunt that she was okay with working with the ghouls for peace. i know he was told about it by…hsiao i think maybe it was higemaru, but it would have been nice to see him hear it from his aunt. i think he kinda needed it.

my otp: i dont think i really have one 😞

my crossover ship: again i dont really have one, but i can definitely draw parallels between him and geto from jjk…in that they both were so bothered by some tragedy that they both started to walk a very dark path. the difference being that aura’s friends were there to turn him around and (idk if you have or are planning to watch/read jjk but spoiler warning for s2 ep1-6 and jjk0) geto’s friends trusted him so much that when he said he was okay, they believed him and yeah…cutting myself off before i get too far

^could also be the long dark hair and emo vibes that makes me associate aura with geto

a headcanon fact: aura the type of guy to give scary vibes but talk to stray cats in a baby voice on the street…you see a scary man in the alley and you’re about to run away but then you hear “who’s a good kitty? you are! yes you are aweee what a cute baby” that’s him

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul :re #tgre #quinx squad #urie kuki #tooru mutsuki #shinsanpei aura

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fxirysforesight · 7 months

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Hi! Thank you so much for doing the compatibility game for me!

The results were interesting for me, and I didn't expect some of them... for example, Hongjoong is my ult bias, but astrologically we're the least compatible? I know his mars is exactly conjunct my sun, and I read that might be a difficult placement, but damn... 😂

Also Mingi, who's my other Ateez bias, is twice on the list, so I don't know if I should be glad we're compatible, or start analyzing why I'm not compatible with by biases? 😭

Txt was on point really. My bias is yeonjun, but Hueningkai might be the most attractive to me out of the group (respectfully, of course, because he's a few years younger than me ✋🏼)

In svt, my biases are scopus and hoshi, so I think it makes sense... Gemini stelliums might be nice as friends for me, but for a partner it might be too much 😂

Exo was a shocker though, because Kai is my fav? And I kinda have a weak spot for cancer boys so I wouldn't have imagined he'd be last 😭

I wanted to ask, seeing all these results, which group do you think I'm most compatible with, overall? I was actually a die-hard stay before finding ateez, and the way they stole me was just insane. My theory is that it was because of all the water in their charts (I do have cancer 4H and Scorpio 8H, after all), while Skz don't have a lot of water placements

Also, if it's not too much, I was curious out of all the "most compatible" idols in this list, who do you think I'd be the most compatible with?

Again, thank you so much, I love your content! 💕

Hi! You're very welcome, I'm glad you liked it! <3

So when I do the compatibility readings, I don't really do it as "most compatible to least compatible", I really try to arrange it so that it's more of a "most compatible ROMANTICALLY to least compatible romantically" so when someone is at the bottom of the list it doesn't meant that you aren't compatible per se, it just means that you guys would be better off as friends or colleagues than lovers!

So, I will explain my choices! Starting with Ateez.

So with Hongjoong, it isn't that you guys aren't compatible, it's just that the polarity of your natal charts are completely opposite. You've got a lot of Fire and Air, which would Square Hongjoong's Scorpio Stellium. However, I think the reason why you like him so much is because that Stellium falls into your 8th House. Not only is it comfortable there on his end, but for you, it draws you to him. Also, your Leo Stellium consisting of your inner planets is in his 1st House!

Mingi was at the top of the list for you (I did NOT mean to put him up there twice I'm so sorry about that!) But I put him first for a couple of reasons. You have a Leo Moon and Mingi has a Leo Sun. Even if they aren't in conjunction they are in the same sign, and the same sign affinity works just as well. Additionally, your Leo Moon, Venus and Mars would be right on his Leo Sun. Your planets of emotions, romance, and passion would fall on his planet of inner being. Also, You have a Virgo Sun and Mingi has a Virgo Venus. Your aspect chart would look a little something like this;

Leo Moon x Leo Sun

Leo Venus x Leo Sun

Leo Mars x Leo Sun (This aspect is in fact not TOO bad, it represents an intense physical connection, producing excitement and chemistry but also irritation and annoyance. Conjunctions are polarizing aspects, you could get either or both of these outcomes. It all depends on how strong these planets are in both of your charts)

Leo Sun x Libra Mercury

Virgo Sun x Virgo Venus

Virgo Sun x Cancer Moon

Virgo Sun x Cancer Mercury

Virgo Sun Scorpio Mars

Leo Sun x Aries Rising (Also in your 5th House where the Sun feels at home)

Speaking of planets feeling at home, one of the reasons why Mingi was first was because you have a natural chart. Because you're an Aries Rising, all of the signs are naturally at home in your chart because they are in the houses that they rule. All of his placements (specifically his Cancer placements) would find purchase in your chart because they fall into the houses they rule! That's also why you have a soft spot for Cancer placements. They fall into your 4th House! They likely make you feels safe, comfortable, and at home when you're with them!

The only thing I was concerned about was your Mercury signs. Obviously water and air do not mix. However, Mingi is a Sagittarius Rising, which would put your Libra Mercury in his 5th House which can lessen the tension with communication.

Now for Exo;

Chen was first because of a natural affinity in your natal charts. You both share a Sun sign as well as a Venus Sign, so at your core your morals and ethics are compatible as well as your love styles. Now Chen does have two Cancer placements in his chart which may not seem like it goes well with your chart, but it could work. You have little to no water or earth in your chart. So it was a little hard to do this with Exo because they all have quite of bit of water and earth in their charts, but I settled on Chen being first because His Cancer Moon and Mars would be really good for your Virgo Sun and the aspects to your Sun would make up for the lack of planet to planets aspects.

Additionally, His Libra Venus and Mercury would fall into your 7th House without overpowering it with too much energy. Chen has the aspects in his chart that you lack, without creating too much disharmony but just enough so that you two are constantly growing with each other instead of getting bored in a stagnant relationship.

I put Kai last because of this reason. Whereas your synastry with Chen creates just enough friction to keep you both interested in each other, your synastry with Kai creates TOO much friction that would begin to be a little stressful to both of you. His Capricorn Stellium would end up in your 10th House, and that is an all work no play placement right there. Additionally, His Capricorn Stellium would be right on your Virgo Sun, and his Aquarius placements would be Opposite your Leo Stellium. While this is actually a good aspect to have, the lack of emotional groundwork would make this a very magnetic and passionate relationship, but not a stable one.

As for which group you'd be compatible with overall; Ateez. They have a really good mix of all of the elements in their chart. Enough to create tension, stimulating growth and advancement, while also being passionate and fun. (Also, Ateez has an 8th House Stellium in their Group Chart which may be the reason they have such a hold on you! It falls in your 8th house. And their Aries Moon is in your 1st House.)

Out of the most compatible idols; Huening Kai

I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thank you so much! <33

#🍓 fairytalks

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deadricslover · 2 years

Text

late night thoughts: volume 1

none of you know me very well and I create some of your pre-bed time scenarios, so I thought I'd give you some really really random facts about me whilst I work on my many many many drafts. If you have any questions ask below! Although there are some things I would like to keep private for privacy reasons 💀 :)

- I am fluent in multiple languages! sometimes if I'm using one language for a period of time and then switch to another, I would mix words up and it's very funny when people don't understand me.

- Usually little girls would love to be a princess or a hairdresser, right? well my little self wanted to be a (as I called it) a racecar driver...... but in normal terms: a formula one driver. I don't know what was going through my head but I was obsessed. stealing my older brothers toy cars from when he was younger and wanting a go-kart for Christmas was normal to me and I often got made fun of for it. That dream would still be ideal today but I have more practical aspirations for my future now which is very emotional for me. :( I loved Daniel Riccardo he was literally my idol (+ vettel and Alonso!!!). My obsession was so hardcore that I refused to watch princess films and play with Barbies. I received a Rapunzel doll for my birthday when I was eight and took off her dress and coloured a race suit onto her with a sharpie. It was very creative to be fair.

- every relationship and friendship (besides my brother ily smelly) I have been in ever has been toxic and tore me down, my luck is so kind to me right? don't pity me or I swear- I was little and didn't know better. THE POINT IS my online friendships worked out so much better so I value you all so so so much honestly<3

- don't laugh at me please but when I was younger I had a crippling fear of the Simpsons..........they were scary ok?

- I have a dog!

- Christian bale isn't my only celebrity crush but that's not shocking I don't think.

- batman isn't my favourite superhero. shocking? he's one of my favourites but not in the top five. he is definitely the most attractive one, but as a character I prefer marvel characters :)

- i.am.a.sucker.for.romance.

- favourite..

superhero: super potato from Peppa pig. who else?

movie: the dark knight and whiplash (couldn't recommend enough, honestly)

tv show: ben and holly (I ❤️ Gaston). fuck Daniel Riccardo^^, Gaston is my idol

colour: RED WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVE RED- OMFG. I like purple too

food: grapes. theyre so random but I love the purple ones.

person: my best friend's mom. he knows I prefer her over him and feels so loved by me 💀 idk why I love her sm but I do. ur mom jokes are daily for us because of this.

animal: my older brother ❤️ he's the smelliest pig.

song: you know I'm no good ( and that whole album) by Amy Winehouse is my current hyperfixation but I love harry styles :) basic ass bitch I know but the arctic monkeys are in the mix too!

- I am literally the best at mario kart. like nobody can beat me for real, my mom and dad would play with me and my brother and I would always beat them no exceptions.

- I am literally -like I said a second ago- the most basic biatch. you know that one aesthetic that's like nerdy but in a Pinterest way? like loving taylor swift, marvel, books, Lana del Ray, music, Gilmore girls, the arctic monkeys and star wars? that's literally me. not that the arctic monkeys, Taylor or anything are nerdy but you know what Im trying to say? sorry if u don't HAJAJAHAHHA

- I cannot let my room become untidy. it's just a thing. I can't function in a slightly messy room, let alone a monstrosity that looks like an alien space ship crashed into my house. it irritates me because I constantly find myself cleaning and reorganising.

- I dont know why I got the urge to write on here, I never wanted to be an author growing up but I just thought it would be fun.

- I literally don't know what else to tell you😭 I'll edit this whenever I think of somat to add hehe.

#dc #batman #bruce wayne #batman begins #christian bale #deadricslover #the dark knight #f1 #daniel ricciardo #the simpsons #idkwhatthesetagsrlmao

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macaronnya · 2 years

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Fresh(?) Impressions (11)

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Hello Enstarries~☆ The most very likely longest post I've ever posted on this hellsite (affectionate) is here! I'll rate MaM, Double Face & Crazy:B (not in this exact order) and it should be obvious I'll only show one picture per character except for two. It would probably be better to show their whole outfit but I wanna use their cards for the aesthetic. I'm actually procrastinating rn bc I still have so many days left to do in the current event (Intersecting Motorshow) but the repidigit mission is causing me psychic damage. I'll come back to it later.....Oh and my wrist is still killing me 😭 It's actually both of my wrists now....

DISCLAIMER!: Everything said here is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to attack anyone. This is not an accurate description of any characters but my subjective rambling for fun, so please don't take it too seriously. (Just to be safe, I'm kinda scared of elite idol fans) Also, you will hear me mention other games a bunch of times bc I'm that bad and uncreative at explaining and I'm still grieving A3!EN's shutdown. Eng is my 2nd (or 3rd?) language so there might be some weird grammar or spelling mistakes. And I write at 3 am usually.

Without further ado.....Let's Ensemble~☆

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By the time I am writing this part.....it is unfortunately not high noon; it's 9pm right now!!! Interesting to see one guy being a w h o l e unit by himself. I was always confused why there's just one guy but eh whatever. No idea where the idea of spreading hope, positivity, motivation and cowboys intersect but if it works 🤷‍♀️ I can't say I like his outfit bc cowboys aren't my thing but he looks decent enough. The colors especially fit him very well but that's to be expected, considering there's only 1 guy to tailor the outfit to. The red piece of fabric on his waist is a very nice pop off in terms of colors & sillouette. Btw is that brown strap on his trousers the gun holder? Inconvenient placement but it would be very cool if the gun is an actual part of his outfit lol. Now comes the sad part, I don't vibe to his songs I've heard yet in the game. There is smth that makes me unrationally irritated and angry???? He's just cheering us up and encouraging us but I just don't like his songs for some reason? Sorry man 😣

5.5/10 - I think it's the first time the music brought the rating down

Madara Mikejima

Howdy boiiiiiiiiiiiii I feel so bad 🥲 He seems like a genuinely good guy. I mean, I did hear smth about him lowkey gaslighting Anzu into thinking they're childhood friends to get closer to Trickstars somehow but I don't think it could have been so bad. I hope. He really wants to spread ~good vibes~ and all and is adamant in being true to himself and his fans. Going after his own beat so to say. A strong boy. Another rich boy apparently???? Which I didn't see coming at all, though he doesn't really care much about that anyways. A very healthy boy. Like, carrying a 17-18 y/o girl is still taking a lot of power and energy even if she's only 50ish kg. And he went quite a while from what I get in his Ep.1. The absolute confidence this guy has to just become a solo performer amidst all these groups. Ik inside the world there are obv other soloists but he radiates confidence one way or another. Initially, I thought it was just the fandom making him out to be the mom friend bc of his unit name and personality but he actually says it himself 😶 I get the feeling others tend to underestimate or are intimidated by him due to his self-assured and almost over-friendly attitude, which he makes use of very well. He's the perfect example of charismatic. I am pretty sure he's also quite popular with mothers, grannies and children. Kinda like Chiaki in a lot of aspects. He looks pretty good. He's falling perfectly into my preference of brown haired green-eyed 2D guys so that checks out. His voice is also pretty nice. It's smooth, rich but still somehow airy like.......liverwurst (I had to google this word and, like, I didn't expect it to be a literal translation from the german one, very very tasty btw). There's still smth nnnggghh about it, though only minimal.

7/10 - kinda intimidating extrovert but definitely looking forward to learn more about him

Ah yes, another one of my fav units musically. They just sound so DAMN AMAZING!!! No idea what genre they tend to go but it's wild and fun and makes me just lose myself. There is not a single song I dislike, literally every song is a banger in one way or another. They all sound good together and just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd keyboardsmash but I think you get it already. If I were forced to chosse favs, I'd say Crazy Roulette and PARANOIA STREET but all songs are really good. It was when I watched their MVs when I noticed how long their torsos and tiny their waists are. I like their uniforms very much as well. There are 2 variants with slight differences and everyone wears individual accessories, which is a bit like Ra*bits and obv makes me weak. It looks like a stylish everyday outfit, if not a bit fancy but it fits the theme of freedom and fun. Black and white are always safe options to go with but it's not boring at all with the different prints, the little bit of other colors and the bling overall. The bee brooches are soooo cute and just make the outfit 10x better. The buttons are shaped like honeycombs!! Honestly, it's probably one of the best regular unit outfits in the game, for me ofc. No idea about the group dynamic but I know that everyone is kinda wild and weird and not a single normal person is in this group, which might not seem much in this game but I mean, I can't even see them functioning with each other but at the same time it's kinda obv they just do whatever and it somehow works??? As I've said, officially, I've only read their Ep.1. And with the memes (and therefore random spoilers), that's kinda the vibe I get. That and I saw a twitter post on tumblr listing their canon crimes, which I shouldn't trust blindly ofc but there's that. I guess it's in the name. Kinda cute how they're bees though. You'd think they'd go for cooler animals like idk leopards or dogs or smth and not little bees but it's a fun novelty.

9/10 - I wanna gobble those bumblebees

Rinne Amagi

A runaway ex-monarch, now where have I heard that before???? Well, Citron (A3!) eventually got back, gave up the throne and peace somehow happened with everyone but I don't think that's the case for this guy here. I don't know much more about his past except, that he's Hiiro's brother and they lived in a remote conervative village. I can definitely see, that he used to be smn important with how he acts. He seems very carefree, lax and rough around the edges but he is in no way stupid and actually pretty sharp, I think. I couldn't fully concentrate when I was reading his Ep.1 bc 1. it was midnight and 2. he talks like a radio host or game commenter 😂 Talks a LOT and very lively. I already knew he had a good as in attractive but yeah also good singing voice but holy did his normal talking voice catch me off guard. It was very...👀 To put it in my unique descriptions....idk man. No words, it's a bit more difficult bc he goes up and down a lot, it's a very nice kind of deeper voice, though. He'd tell the best stories for children. I guess it's comparable to a nice quiet day at the beach with a bit of wind. Not too sunny or too hot. Unsurprisingly, he's obsessed with thrills and new things too, I'd say. Probably stems from the fact, that he used to live a set path in his zraditonal village. Likes gambling and considers even marriage gambling, which isn't wrong. Nothing in life is set in stone, after all. I did hear he can be kind of an asshole and self-absorbed, which is also not surprising. His vibe kinda gave it off. Very likely impulsive and does not think things through 80% of the time, which makes him not stupid but stupid. Fun person to watch but not to hang around with. I feel like he'd drag you in his problems regularly. I don't think he can cook or do basic household chores so how did he survive alone then??? He didn't get scouted immediately, right? He can clean the toilet at max. Btw. he has a pretty good sense of fashion for smn who's pretty new to urban life. He also has certain charm to him and looks kinda good. Oh and he seems like he's in his 20s, which makes me question why he calls us Nee-san. "Miss" would be more appropriate, no?

7/10 - interesting fun guy but I'm preparing myself for the coming headaches

HiMERU

So mean of him to let i be the only small letter :( Or is it some symbolism? Ok, so straight up, I heard he's impersonating for his younger hospitalized brother, which is why he always refers to himself as "HiMERU" and not in first person. If I remember correctly ofc. Now, that already goes to show he cares greatly for his brother but also that he has determination of steel bc who would go through so much trouble wth. And the thing with acting as close as the original Himeru is just.....😧 Why would he do that? Does he actually care for him, or was he somehow forced to do it? He seems pretty chill, obv very secretive and relatively distant, to no one's surprise. He's also polite but can roast you without you even noticing. Maybe I'm just being judgemental but he might also be more cold. His hair looks like bedhair but the good "I woke up like this" ⭐ variant Nonetheless, he should probably get those strands down and away from his face. Black goes very well with him for some reason. His voice sounds so seductive when he sings but is pretty calm and rather quiet otherwise. It's not weak, though, and rather like a sturdy bench but with ventilation since it's also a bit airy.

6/10 - there's a lot to uncover but I'm in no hurry to find out

Kohaku Oukawa

I'm having difficulties telling his and Niki's singing voices from each other apart. It's so stupid considering how often I listened to the songs but their differences are not that noticable and both fit. Kohaku's normal talking voice is very easily recognizable, on the other hand. In Crazy:B at least. It's similiar to Mika and Shinobu but he has a less stretchy speech pattern (M) and his voice is deeper (S). He sings pretty decent. Not 100% sure what's up with him but wasn't he some assassin or smth? He seems too friendly and normal to be one. I almost wanted to ask what one would even do here but that's a stupid question 🤦‍♀️ He seems to have family problems. I heard somewhere that he likes sweets as well so....Welcome to the club💖!!! I sure hope he's open for all kinds of sweets around the world. I thought he'd be more grumpy and serious but he's a normal amount of that. I like his hair and eye color. It's the same combination as Shu's but I like it on him more. Probably bc I like his hair more and he just looks friendlier.

7/10 - sympathetic dude fr

Niki Shiina

I see a lot of :P from him. Is the bit about his condition about being less able to absorb nutrients true? That would suck man. Being hungry 20/7 sounds like a nightmare. What also sounds like a nightmare is cannibalism, which I sure hope is just a misnderstanding or misinformation bc wtf. Anyways, aside from that, he can cook! Plus point here already. Trust goes through the stomach after all. Talks similiarly to Rinne but more playfully. His voice reminds me of fresh citrus fruits. Seems diligent (for the sake of food) and is pretty cheerful (unless there's no food). Mans got his priorities straight of retiring as an idol if it strains his physical and therefore mental well-being. Must be a bit of a pushover if he got talked into becoming an idol of all possibilities. I mean, it's obv they can't eat a lot and have to work hard to stay in shape and sing well. I thought he'd be more reserved and uh normal bc malewife material and memes portrayed him as the one who cleans up the chaos. Maybe, my memory is pretty hazy on that regard. I like his appearance. Pretty hair, blep, kinda cute.

7/10 - kinda like and curious about him

Remember how I said the typical idol outfit is inspired by imperialistic european military uniforms? I guess it's taken literally here but more shifted to the 20th century. I have no idea what the theme is supposed to be. I did see that they were called executioners when I picked the cards from the wikia but is that it? Back to the clothes, they look good! You can't go wrong with suits and gloves. It's with darker grim colors (pretty sure they're from Madara's MaM outfit) which fits to executioners. The sherrif star is a bit funny but I guess it works as a medal here. What puzzles me is the puzzle piece on their belts. Are they also seekers or smth? The harness??? or how they're called on Madara sure give the extra spice along with the ¾ sleeves, that leave a bit of room for peeking skin. And the magically hanging coat gives him the a bossy feel. Kohaku on the other hand resumes the role of being the cuter one out of the two and has cool cape-shirt to his shorts and overknee boots. The asymmetry of the top makes it more interesting to look at and shifts the focus on the basically only patch of light color on his outfit. He looks like Madara's assistant or second-in-command, not that there are others.

I don't think the group exists yet bc 1. it's not shown anywhere in-game and 2. Kohaku is a new character after all and just got introduced to be part of Crazy:B (I think, I haven't read the story yet). It will probably be formed later on for some reason. It doesn't seem like he left the other unit like Nazuna left Valkyrie. The music can be pretty good. It's more serious sounding compared to what they usually sing and it sometimes reminds me of these cool cinematic chase scenes in oldie movies.

7.5/10 - dunno what's up but I'll look forward to more or actually seeing it formed Ig

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Conclusion

Sry to any MaMPs here, I guess the positive songs are too pure and burn my dark soul away or smth along that. Maybe Madara is mermaid prince and his songs are effective against me, an evil fish (Mermaid Melody reference that nobody gets bc barely anyone knows it :,)). Crazy:B got pulled like crazy high through their songs but they're also pretty balanced on their own.

It is now 5 over half 6 am and I already completed the event before starting Crazy:B's part. I am literally so close to simply drifting off to dreamland. I tried to look out for any mistakes but I don't think I found them all. I'm gonna do the rest this week no matter what.

If you wanna share smth just write away with the limit being respectful boundaries and the knowledge, that everything here is just for fun and games! See ya'll later~☆

#ensemble stars #enstars #MaM #Double Face #Crazy:B #macaron rambles

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peppertaemint · 1 year

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Shawol twitter is gonna make me lose my mind. If I see the word overworked in regards to Taemin one more time before he even comes back and has anything actually officially announced I'm gonna come off private and start cussing😭

This is a grown man with almost 15 years in the business who can make his own choices. He wouldn't have agreed to Superm if he didn't want to do it. And ffs, this man has been working a regular 9-5 for the past year and the people talking about how he needs rest when he comes back? He's probably climbing the walls waiting to get back to what he loves to do. This is a man who has in the past said he wouldn't love anything but being an idol, who has said he doesn't want rest.

He probably can't wait to be busy af doing the thing he loves to do after almost two years.

I swear some of these people claim to be his fans and it's like they don't actually know anything about him?

They keep going on about how he was before his enlistment, but that was literally right before his enlistment? He had a deadline looming for something that he not only didn't want to do, but was actively anxious about doing that was gonna take him away from what he loved. Of course he wasnt doing so well, and tried to squeeze as much as he could in before he had to go.

It honestly seems like some of these shawols just don't want him to come back, but they're hiding it behind "concern" and the other ones want him back but only if he does the things that they think he should be doing because he's too stupid to decide for himself.

It's so frustrating, and it's even coming from people I used to think were chill and level headed. Like, they can just say theyd prefer shinee some come back first cause they like them better? It doesn't have to be some big issue about overworking or being forced to do something or whatever.

Anyway, I just had to rant it out. I used to get so frustrated about armys but now I'm seeing a side to shawol twitter that is similarly irritating.

Hi Anon... welp. I’m with you on this. There’s a clusterfuck happening right now as SuperM, Taemin, and SHINee fans all selfishly argue about what they want in 2023. And I agree — it’s giving shades of army, and it’s not pretty. I mean, its giving split the man in three and everyone take a piece vibes. Add in the “what’s your shawol ick” meme going around, and it’s certainly time to log out.

The people who are worried about overwork when he’s done nothing are people who don’t understand what it’s like to do something you love. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but if they understood they wouldn’t have anything to say beyond rooting for him. I used to travel substantially for work, and it was incredibly taxing going from country to country to do my thing. The jet lag alone kills you. If someone took that away from me before I was ready to hang up my passport, I would have been beside myself. Like you say, he’s been doing a 9 to 5 for over a year now, and by all accounts he’s healthier and doing well. So, why are we assuming he’s not rested and raring to go?

The other thing that is giving me pause is how people are rushing to think the D-100 is the discharge date and not the date we’ll see him again in some capacity. It makes much more sense for him to get back to work and have a date set as to when he’ll use social media again. This is Taemin. He’s gonna do something weird or grand or god knows what. Everyone thinks he’s going to discharge and turn on IG Live or something immediately, but I just don’t think that’s what will be happening. I think everything will be planned out, as much for him as it is for the fans. If I’m wrong I’m wrong, but I somehow can’t see him switching on a live stream at home to greet everyone... I think it will be more formal and supportive work environment situation, if that makes sense.

How he was before enlistment ties into the above but also exactly the point you made before. He had a longstanding condition that was exacerbated by a huge change in lifestyle and profession. Finally, he’s already returned home and will be returning to work. Those are not the problem things from my limited, basic human perspective. The other thing kinda grating on me as someone with chronic illness is like people wanting to police what he does. Only he gets to decide what’s right for him. Just because fans could see he was unwell at times that doesn’t mean he should throw in the towel and do one comeback a year. Or that he needs babying or for people people to doubt his capabilities (which is what this comes off like). People need to check their own discomfort at someone else’s challenges and abilities. They’re not your challenges.

Back to the first point, though: what fans want most. I’ve actually seen a lots of shawols just blatantly saying they don’t want a solo or SuperM comeback first, which I find pointless. Personally, I think no one gets to choose but SM (probably not even TM as it’s down to timing and we need to consider Kai’s enlistment etc) so what point is there in having a tantrum? I’d like him to come back as a solo first, and I’m huge SHINee fan, but it doesn’t matter. After almost two years, I will be happy about whatever comes (I mean, if the music sucks I’ll say so but I’ll still enjoy cursed content LOL).

All of this is irritating, but the good thing with shawols/Taemints is that things usually blow over quickly and quiet down because of the behaviour standards. I don’t find it incessant, and luckily there are plenty of people keeping quiet or reminding others not to be so stupid. On another front, though, I’ve already noticed even the shippers are getting a little loud, and I predict with the MinKeyers taking cues from TaeKookers, there might be some nasty moments ahead. Most 2Minners are quiet or on private, but there is one who is just well, a bit loud and out there with a lot of followers, and I’ve already seen them shading other ships, especially MinKeyers. And I get it to an extent; some of the things they say are not okay but it’s the blatant shade that gets me. They are young, and I hate to say it but a lot (but not all) of these negative behaviours do come from younger fans, especially those hopping fandoms because they bring the behaviours with them instead of acclimating to the fandom’s values/standards.

#taemin ask #taemin #I get it because it’s getting a bit silly with all the demands and speculation #but can’t we just be happy he’s had time for treatment and to take care of himself #for me everything beyond that is cool and great SuperM or whatever it is #also just accept that sometimes maybe he will need to manage his illness #that doesn’t mean he should stay at home or in bed #it’s up to him not you

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kingofbodyrolls · 8 months

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BTS fic recs: August 2023

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | 💜 | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, personal favorites = 💯.

Namjoon

⭐All Aboard! (the passion express)💯 by @ve1vetyoongi // knj x f.reader // office worker!namjoon // 🥵

📝 There were not many things that got your blood boiling in the same way that two simple words could. Kim Namjoon. The name of your irritating and (unfortunately enough, as the universe would have it) incredibly handsome co-worker. Which is exactly why you never expected to find your self on your knees for him on the train home.

🗨️ Holy fuck, fuck, fuck this was so incredibly filthy (in the best way possible) 🥵 the tension between reader and Namjoon was perfect, the build up was so satisfying 🌟 what’s not to like ✨😍

⭐The Wedding Arrangement💯 by @sugaurora // knj x f.reader // ‘enemies’ to friends to lovers, wedding!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 Unfortunately, he’s just gotten engaged to someone who isn’t you. Even more unfortunately, he expects you to help plan the wedding alongside Kim Namjoon, his other best friend and, based on your first meeting, just another judgmental jerk. Putting aside your distaste for the sake of your friend’s happiness, you both set about giving Seokjin the wedding of his dreams. Following a rough and satisfying affair at the caterer’s, you strike an unusual deal: you and Namjoon will be enemies with benefits until the wedding is over. And after six months of wedding planning, you both just might learn that weddings aren’t usually the end, but a brand new beginning.

🗨️ This was so amazing 🥹 the characters had so much depth and ugh! It was just so, so good. It was a pleasure reading their love unfolding 🥰 aish, I’m soft! It’s filled will plenty soft, slight heartbreaking angst at times, but oh so fluffy and smutty too! It was perfect 👌🏾 💯 please don’t sleep on this one, okay? 🥹

Seokjin

⭐Knocked by @sailoryooons // ksj x f.reader // roommates to lovers // 🥵😂

📝 Living with people is difficult, but all things considered, your new roommate isn’t terrible. He cooks, he cleans, and if you had to be honest - incredibly attractive. But his habit of streaming until the early hours of the morning while yelling and making other questionable noises has pushed you to the limit. You’ve finally decided to risk your sanity and put it all on the line with a reckless bet in hopes of getting some peace and quiet at night.

Yoongi

⭐DreamCatcher by @jimlingss // myg x f.reader // s2l // 🥰🌩️

📝 When your dreams are more or less nightmares, monsters inside your head that eat you alive, it seems like the only person who can help you is Min Yoongi, professional dream chaser.

🗨️ Aw, this was heart wrenching and beautiful 🥺 all those nightmares, readers mom.. Ugh 🥺 and then they can enter each other’s dreams 😭 they have a special connection! I was not prepared for Yoongi's nightmare at the end 😭😭 and the reader just gave up. Aish, it was really, really good 🌟

⭐Oh, darling! [completed series] 💯 by @yoongiofmine // myg x f.reader // university!au, non idol au, professor!yoongi, student!reader // 🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Starting your second semester at one of South Korea’s most prestigious universities should be stressful enough. Between juggling classes, good grades and a social life, your plate was full. Hoping to spice up your academic career, you thought it was a good idea to enroll as an assistant for your literature professor, whom you’ve held a very secret and very forbidden crush on for the past several months. What will happen now that you’re forced to work closely together? And what if your crush isn’t as one sided as you thought?

🗨️ Holy fucking shit 🥵🫣😳 I am speechless. My soul have left my body 🥵 it’s so good! ‘Kay bye 🫣

⭐Sinful Lust [ongoing series] 💯 by @oddinary4bts // myg x jjk x f.reader // established relationship, bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi, slice of life // 🥵🌩️

📝In an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating…

🗨️ Holy 😱 😱 😱 this is just completely unadulterated sin 🥵🫣 like, I went to hell and I didn’t come back! On another note, I found their chemistry really interesting - but damn I felt sorta sorry for Jungkook at the end. ugh the feels, my heart is torn!

Hoseok

⭐Watch Yourself by @boymeetsweevil // jhs x f.reader // non idol au, pwp // 🥵

📝 It starts with an invitation from your ex. It ends with Hoseok’s hands down your pants in said ex’s kitchen.

🗨️ Oh this was hot alright 🥵

Jimin

⭐You DTF? by @sailoryooons // pjm x f.reader // strangers to one-night stand, pwp // 🥵😂

📝 You’ve never had a one night stand. Jimin has had countless. You’re trying to experience new things. Jimin loves doing the same old shit. So when you meet the man going around the club inviting people to touch his ripped abs, you think perhaps this is the perfect opportunity to try new things. It’s Labor Day weekend at the shore - what can go wrong?

🗨️ This is absolutely dirty in the best way possible 😝 fuckboy jimin is no joke 🥵🫣 the dialogues are funny, hilarious and a good throwback to the 2000s 😂 it’s really good 👌🏾 ♥

⭐In the Dark 💯 by @jksangelic // pjm x jjk x f.reader // f2l, threesome, pwp // 🥵😂

📝 “I can’t get a signal on my phone, the car is dead, and I’m fairly certain we are out of matches.” Jungkook and Jimin have a very short attention span, and when you three are lost in the middle of nowhere with a truck that won’t drive, they busy themselves with you.

🗨️ I was in the mood for a comfort fic (= one that I’d read before), with a threesome that was smutty as hell, and this is just that 🥵♥️ I just adore this so much, one of my all-time favorites 🌟

⭐Roomie 💯 by @jessikahathaway // pjm x f.reader // slice of life!au, roommates!au // 🥵😂

📝 After a disappointing slew of failed sexual escapades, you find yourself willing to do some crazy things. Falling for your roommate not included.

🗨️ Omg, this was fucking hot 🥵 💯

⭐Ribbons 💯 by @jamaisjoons // pjm x jjk x f.reader // threesome, established relationship, pwp // 🥵😂🥰

📝 Your boyfriend, jimin, arranges the best birthday present you could have ever asked for.

🗨️ Fuck, just what the fuck 🥵 I’m speechless. This was so incredibly sinful, like 😳🥵 I’m blushing 🫣💯

⭐Sunday Morning by @bangtsblossom // pjm x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 The morning after he proposes to you.

🗨️ This was just so sweet and loving 💖

⭐Picking Petals by @cutechim // pjm x f.reader // idol!jimin, married couple!au, pwp // 🥵🥰

📝 You asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get.

🗨️ Omg this was so fucking hot and good! ♥ 💯

Taehyung

⭐Farmer boy, I Love You by @strawberrynamjoon // kth x f.reader // farming!au, lowkey e2l // 🥵😂

📝 Needing change in your life you decided it would be a brilliant idea to move to your uncle’s small farm, helping him and your cousin Jimin with the daily work. What you didn’t plan was to fall in love with your beautiful yet very annoying neighbour Taehyung, who seemed to make it his personal mission to tease you every chance he got. And what you expected even less was that he seemed to like you too.

🗨️ This was just utterly sweet, so fluffy 🥺 I really liked this: the way that reader and Taehyung’s friendship deepens, their friends and their banter 🥺 everything was so good, soft, sad sometimes, and just really great and funny too 🤭

Jungkook

⭐Snow and Ice: pt1, pt2 [completed series] by @hayjeon // jjk x f.reader // friendswithbenefits!au, Snowboarder!JK and figure skater!reader // 🥵🌩️🥰😂

🗨️ Omg this is so good 😍 I love the dynamic between all the characters, their banter 👌🏾 and the relationship between reader and Jungkook is just outstanding 🌟 also, this couple is just GOLD 🥇

⭐Pen pals by @gukyi // jjk x f.reader // f2l // 🥵😂🥰

📝 To put it simply, pretending to be jungkook’s pen pal when you were both eight just so he wouldn’t be disappointed was a bad idea, because now he’s in love with them. or, well, you, he just doesn’t know it.

🗨️ Dammmmmmn that is a long time to keep up a lie 😂 reader has real dedication! It’s really good 👌🏾 it was interesting to see how the lie just keeps growing, and how that affected both the reader and Jungkook. The overall story is just really cute and fluffy 🥰

⭐Fact over Fancy by @dovechim // jjk x f.reader // ‘friends’ to lovers, dystopian!au // 🥵🌩️

📝 In this world, there are two types of people: those born with emotions, and those born without. Society is thriving in its emotionless state, productivity levels are at an all time high. Marriage serves only one function: to father the next generation. Those with emotions are considered to be defective, aberrations who can never be matched. What happens when there’s a glitch in the so-called perfect system and a defective and a “normal” person are matched?

🗨️ The dystopian theme in this was really interesting, and the build up tension between Jungkook and reader - and then the reveal! 🤡 The smut is really good and the ending scene had me going 😂 😂

⭐Date in a Box by @jimlingss // jjk x f.reader // s2l // 🥰😂

📝 If you’re in a hurry then we’re here to help you! Everything you need in a box. Delivery less than five minutes. Upgrade and we can personalize your date even more! Guaranteed 100%! Don’t fret, we’re here.

🗨️ This was just straight up hilarious! 😂 So funny and the fluff is cute 😍

⭐Two point five (part three) 💯by @bratkook // jjk x f.reader // handyman!jungkook, pwp // 🥵🥰

📝 Jungkook finally fixes your pipes, sure he gets distracted while doing it, but what else could you expect when you’re sitting on top of him looking like that.

🗨️ I just had to reread the first two parts, before reading this new one 🥹😍 I can’t get enough of this lovely couple! This addition was perfect. Jungkook is just so damn whipped 🥰💯

Thank you so much for going through my recommendations! I hope you find something that you like and show it some love. I’m still going through my reading list from as far back as 2017, so don’t be surprised if I recommend something ‘old’ 😁

Also, I might not be able to read (and recommend much) in September and October because I’m moving. My husband and I bought our first house, so the next months I’ll be packing and moving 🎉

Borahae 💜

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celestial-astro · 2 years

Note

Ehyyy!

If you exchanges are still open👀

What are some idols I would have beef with?👀

for you: dahyun of twice, she might have tried to make you upset a lot of times bcs you seems so put together and ultimately she does it but you will be so annoyed and get srs angry at her

Also jyp😭😭😭, could be an idol at jyp and might want to do your own things but him trying to tell you that you need to focus on the group and not what you want to do and you decide to not listen to him

-pk 🤳

Hi pk !

Thank you for your exchange! I appreciate it! 💗🌸✨

For you, I’m getting:

Karina (aespa): she might be passive aggressive with you sometimes which can cause some tension between the two of you. She might give snarky remarks and eye rolls which could get on your nerves, but I’m seeing that you will still do you best to keep your cool in these situations. You might not even be sure how it started.

Irene (RV): you might have some differences in opinion that cause some tension. However, I don’t think this one would be as bad or even too significant. You might just have the tendency to irritate each other a bit.

I hope you like your reading! 💗🌸✨

#kpop exchange asks #dahyun.twice

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leejungchans · 3 years

Text

the secret language of flowers — lee chan

word count | 6.5k

pairing | lee chan (svt) x gender neutral reader; appearances by jeonghan (who’s kinda an asshole in this ahjsjaks i’m sorry 😭), soonyoung, joshua and vernon

warning(s) / includes | mentions of needles and getting tattoos, swearing, one innuendo reader makes about biting?

genre | fluff, angst, humour, non-idol au, florist/tattoo artist au, chan is also shirtless towards the end haha oops 😁

note | dedicating this to my dear ash aka @chanberriees who deserves an award for putting up with my chan brainrot hours and for helping me develop some of the ideas 🥺 ily bestie 🤧💖

summary | chan thought you’d be the last person who’d ever step foot in a flower shop. it doesn’t help that he has the biggest crush on you either.

a/n | ah yes the classic cute florist x cold-on-the-outside tattoo artist trope 🤧🤧 more lee chan content bc it’s what the world needs ✨ i didn’t scrap the hongjoong blue moon inspired piece i promise ahjshwjs 😭

Chan sees you every day through the glass display window of his parents’ flower shop.

You pass by at 8 a.m. sharp, he notices. No earlier, no later. You usually also have a to-go cup of iced coffee from the café down the street as you walk with your head high and back straight. Your strides are purposeful and confident, but there’s also a sense of effortless nonchalance, like you could command the attention of a room without lifting a single finger.

Though, there was one time where you appeared 23 minutes later than you normally do—is it creepy that he counted?—he was watering the hanging plants outside when he saw you approaching, hair messy and footsteps hurried as you brushed past without a glance in his direction, and he assumed you were running late to work. That was the first time he’s ever seen you in such a disheveled state, so far from your usually commanding presence.

He likes it. He thinks it’s cute. He thinks you’re cute.

Later, he’d also learn that you work at the tattoo parlour just a few doors down, though he should’ve known given the impressive collection of tattoos that decorate your skin, which only adds to your unapproachable aura.

To put it simply—you intimidate the crap out of Chan. The two of you could not be any more different from each other, completely opposite ends of the spectrum. He’s soft sweaters in pastel colours, lattes with extra milk and caramel syrup, pretty flowers and silky petals; you’re all-black outfits and sharp eyeliner, plain coffee with not a single drop of dairy whatsoever.

Perhaps you’re lactose intolerant, or maybe anything but black coffee ruins your meticulously-crafted aesthetic.

Either way, he finds you utterly mesmerising.

He remembers the first time you spoke to him just a few months ago. You were standing in front of him at the line in the café, and nearly collided into him when you turned around after the cashier handed you your receipt. He expected a glare, maybe also paired with an irritated snarl of “Watch it!”.

To Chan’s surprise, your voice came out in a soft murmur instead as you apologised. He would’ve reassured you that it was okay, but you walked off before he could get out a single word. It was probably for the best that you did, because he’d rather bury his head in the ground than you witnessing the fiery blush that quickly spread across his cheeks.

When he recounted the story to Vernon later that day, it only earned him a teasing clap to the shoulder. “Dude,” his friend laughs, “you have a crush.”

Yeah, he does.

M A R C H.

Chan’s tending to the tulips when the small bell above the door chimes, and he nearly has a heart attack when he looks up to find you hovering around the doorway, silently looking around the quaint shop.

You’re dressed in black from head to toe, and it makes you stick out like a sore thumb amongst the flowers. It’s an odd sight—you seem like the kind of person who’d avoid places like this at all costs, though that could just be him stereotyping.

Of all days to be alone in the store, his parents out running errands and Soonyoung having called in sick that morning, it had to be today. When you’re here.

“Hi,” he croaks out nervously before he cringes at the sound of his voice and quickly clears his throat. “Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

Your eyes flit over to him like you just noticed him despite being the only other person here. Or maybe you didn’t care for his presence until now. “No, just looking for something to decorate my workspace with. Any recommendations?”

“A new shipment of succulents just came in… if you’re interested in those?”

You raise a brow at him. “Are you saying that because you assume I’m bad at taking care of plants?”

“N-no!” Chan immediately stammers out, heart hammering erratically in his chest at the possibility of having just offended you. You definitely look like someone who’s not to be messed with. “I just thought since you m-might be busy, you’d want to start off with—“

“Hey,” you interrupt gently, poker face melting away into a quirked smile at his adorably flustered state. “I was just joking, I didn’t mean to startle you. Sorry about that, and succulents sound good.”

“O-oh, okay, good to know,” Chan says with a strained laugh while scratching the back of his neck. “Um… we keep them at the back, so if you don’t mind following me…”

His nervousness plays against him yet again when describing to you the different types of succulents they have because he’s speaking so softly that you have to lean in closer to catch his words. If you were any closer he might just pass out, and that would be a horrible second impression.

He keeps going back and forth between staying quiet and striking up another conversation as he rings you up. You’re so at ease, so unfazed… it’s both impressive and slightly concerning. Can’t you feel the awkward tension in the room? Or do you just not care for these things like cool people do?

“—helping me.”

Your voice snaps Chan out of his trance, and his eyes widen in alarm upon the realisation that he barely registered what you said to him. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I spaced out! You were saying?”

Your amused chuckle sends another rush of heat crawling up his neck, and he wants nothing more than to hide in the back and never face you again. “I said, thanks for helping me.”

“You’re welcome! It’s totally no trouble! It’s what I’m here for, after all!” he says in an entire breath, which only serves to amuse your further.

“Well, thanks again,” you say as you taking the paper bag full of your new plants from him. “I’ll see you around… Chan.”

His mind goes blank. You just called him by his name! How do you even kn—oh, right. His name tag. “Y-yeah! See you!” He blurts out his next words before he can stop himself. “What’s yours?”

Your retreating figure halts by the door, and when you look over your shoulder there’s a faint smirk playing on your lips, as though you knew he’d ask.

“My what?”

Yeah, his face is definitely beet red by now. “Your name.”

You supply it in an airy voice. It’s like you can’t care less about it, like it’s not the prettiest name he’s ever heard. He repeats it back to you slowly, making sure he gets it right, and you leave with a lazy wave and satisfied smile.

His stomach does somersaults even hours later.

A P R I L.

You’re back three weeks later—yes, he kept track—letting him know that the succulents are doing well and you’re now confident enough to shop for more plants to add some life to your apartment.

The only thing that’s different this time is that Soonyoung’s here, and he’s doing a terrible job at pretending that he’s totally not eavesdropping on your conversation as he waters the potted plants in the far corner of the room.

Chan hopes you won’t notice that there’s nothing coming out of Soonyoung’s watering can, and if you already did, he’s glad you chose not to point it out. Meanwhile, you’re just doing your own thing, casually admiring the abundance of flowers in the store when Chan spies something familiar on your arm—a tattoo of a lily. More specifically, a tiger lily.

He’s so captivated that he doesn’t realise you’ve caught him staring. “Can I help you?” you question, mildly entertained by the dazed look in his eyes.

Soonyoung masks his snort with a cough. One that’s very poorly-feigned. Damn you, Kwon Soonyoung.

“Sorry!” Chan squeaks. “It’s just that… is that a tiger lily?”

You let out a confused hum before quickly understanding that he’s referring to one of your countless tattoos. “Oh, this?” You rotate your arm to get a look at it. “I didn’t know it was named that. I just thought it was pretty, so I got it.”

“It represents confidence, amongst other things,” Chan supplies, though he doesn’t think you’d be all that interested.

“Huh, then I suppose it’s not the worst thing I got tattooed.”

This time, Soonyoung can’t resist piping up. “What’s the worst one, then?”

You flash a smirk in his direction. “Trust me, you don’t wanna know. But you might wanna know how to resuscitate the plants that you’ve been drowning in nonexistent water for the past five minutes.”

Busted. So busted. Red rushes to Soonyoung’s cheeks at your jibe, and he mumbles some excuse about refilling the can before disappearing into the back room.

Chan wants to apologise on his friend’s behalf, but instead he finds himself blurting out, “My favourite flower’s the cherry blossom.” He doesn’t get a response, and regret washes over him because why would you care? You barely know him, so why would you give two shits about what his favourite flower is?

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

He blinks at you once. Then twice. You truly never cease to surprise him. “Come again?”

“Why are they your favourite flower?” you repeat, tilting your head to the side enticingly, a silent encouragement for him to continue. “You can tell me if you want. I don’t bite… unless you pay me to.”

Really, you made the joke with the intention to ease the tension in the room, having sensed Chan’s palpable hesitation, but it only seems to make things even worse for him, and you have to bite down on the inside of your cheek to suppress the smile that’s threatening to tug at your lips at the way he chokes on air. Poor boy.

“They don’t have a long lifespan, probably lasting around two weeks at most,” Chan finally says, “people rush to see them in their most glorious state because they’re so short-lived. In a way, it’s a reminder of how fleeting our own lives are, and how we have to cherish who, or what we have before they’re gone.”

Your expression has gone sober, and he knows you’re listening from the way your brows knit together in concentration. “But they come back every spring, which is why they’re a symbol of rebirth, a reminder that there’s always a fresh start out there, and I think that’s beautiful… Was that too corny of an answer?”

You shake your head. “Not at all. I like hearing someone talk about something they’re passionate about, so thank you for sharing that with me.”

How dare you be so calm as though you didn’t just say something that made his heart race and the tips of his ears flush a bright pink?

“You’re… you’re welcome?” he squeaks, and you turn back to the lilacs with a pensive look in your eyes.

“A shame that you can’t really buy cherry blossoms, but I guess that’s also part of their charm,” you muse thoughtfully after several beats. “It’s true that not everything beautiful can be attained by monetary means. Anyways… any recommendations?”

The split second switch from solemnness to airiness almost gives Chan whiplash. “Uh… how about lavender roses?” he asks, feeling the weight of your gaze on his body as he walks over to the purple flowers before holding a few out to show you. “These just came in.”

“Any special meaning for these too?”

His heart skips a beat. “Uh… no. Not really. They’re pretty rare, though, so they’re usually gone pretty fast.”

To his immense relief, you look convinced. “I’ll take some. They’re beautiful, though it’s kinda ironic given what I just said.”

“Just a little,” Chan jokes back, and he melts a little at the way you smile. It’s not your usual confident smirk—even though that’s attractive too—but this one just feels so genuine, like it came straight from the heart. He thinks he saw a different side of you today, one that he’s grateful to have witnessed.

It’s only when you leave the store that Soonyoung rejoins Chan, and the two of them watch your figure shrink until you’re completely gone from their sight. “They seem nice,” he says, to which Chan can only nod wordlessly in agreement. “Did you recommend lavender roses because they—”

“—represent admiration? Yeah, maybe.”

“Oh my God, you got it bad.”

J U L Y.

He likes to think that you became friends after that day. Every now and then you’d walk by as he’s watering the plants at the front of the store, and you’d stop and chat for a few minutes before you head to work; other times you’d see each other in line at the café and exchange random stories until one of your orders gets called; sometimes you pop in to buy more plants. Each encounter only leaves Chan with a pounding heart and more butterflies in his stomach.

What a shame he never saw this coming.

“Is everything okay?” While this isn’t your first time in his store in the past two months, it certainly is the first time you’ve looked so tense with your hands wrung together tightly and your gaze flittering around from flower to flower.

“I’m okay,” you say with a sigh, “it’s a pretty silly reason to be nervous, actually.”

Chan smiles encouragingly. “You can tell me if you want. I don’t judge. I might even be able to help.”

Another sigh. “Yeah… I guess. It’s just that… I don’t know what flowers to get for my boyfriend. It’s our one-year anniversary today.”

Your what?

From the corner of his eye, Chan sees Soonyoung freeze where he’s tending to the sunflowers, and his blood goes cold. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he berates himself internally, because how foolish is he to believe that someone as wonderful as you isn’t already taken? It’s wishful thinking to have hoped otherwise.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Your shaky chuckle reaches his thrumming ears. “Now it’s my turn to ask if you’re okay.”

“Yeah, of course!” Chan says, smiling as brightly as he can. “I was just thinking of what flowers you might like to pick for him. Congratulations, by the way! Do you know what kinds he likes?”

You’re too overcome by shyness to notice how he’s compensating his disappointment with forced enthusiasm, and a lump forms in his throat at the sight of your shy smile because he’s never seen you look like this before. It’s cute, but it also hurts knowing that he’s not the reason for your endearing bashfulness. “Honestly, I’m not sure,” you tell him. “He’s not that much of a flashy person, though. So maybe something more… subdued?”

Chan stiffly nods in acknowledgment before moving past you. With his back now turned to you, he mouths a few words of reassurance in response to the worried look Soonyoung discreetly shoots him. “What about daisies?” he suggests, keeping his tone light. “They symbolise loyal love, but aren’t as bold as something like red roses, just to name an example.”

Your eyes practically shine upon laying eyes on the dainty white flowers. “They’re perfect,” you breathe out, and even Soonyoung’s brows furrow at how lovesick you seem. It’s like a switch flipped, and you’re such a far cry from your usual assertive self that you’re almost unrecognisable. But who are they to judge you? Love is known to change people and you are, after all, only human.

You thank Chan happily before leaving with your daisies, the mixture of nerves and giddiness threatening to consume your entire being renders you utterly oblivious to the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, which he only allows to melt away when he’s sure you’re out of sight.

“Chan… I’m sorry.” Soonyoung’s words come out as a whisper, as though anything louder will knock Chan over like he’s made of toothpicks.

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” He’s not. “I never stood a chance in the first place anyways.”

He thinks he might be right, especially after he meets the infamous boyfriend just a little over a week later.

His parents are out running errands again which leaves Chan to close up the shop. He’s walking down the street to get to his car when he sees you standing in front of the tattoo parlour, the pencil in your hand moving rapidly as you sketch something in a notebook the size of your hand.

He thinks that you won’t be able to notice him if he ducks his head and walks fast, especially given your occupied state. But perhaps it’s fateful coincidence that causes you to lift your head and lock eyes with him almost instantly, and the corners of your lips quirk up in greeting.

Chan wonders to himself how rude it’d be if he just kept walking. Probably extremely so, and he really doesn’t have a rude bone in his body. Almost involuntarily, his feet slow down as he comes to a stop in front of you before squeaking out a quiet “hi”.

You cock your head to the side. “Where’s your friend, the one who waters plants with air?”

Chan manages a small smile. “You’re not letting Soonyoung live that down, huh?”

“Ah, so that’s his name.”

“You’ve been stopping by every now and then for the past few months and you… don’t know his name?”

Your shoulders rise and fall in an elegant motion when you shrug, he notes. “I don’t care to remember some people’s names if I don’t feel like it, Chan. I have enough on my mind as is.”

There it is—the fluttering feeling in his stomach. It’s back and stronger than ever because you just implied that you felt like committing his name to memory.

“What are you drawing?” he asks instead, hoping the change in topic will quell the heat rising rapidly to his face.

You tilt the notebook in his direction slightly to give him a better view at your sketches, and he takes a few seconds to take them all in. “Just tattoo ideas.”

“For you or for a client?”

“To be decided, I suppose. Why, you want one?”

Chan almost recoils at the sight of your devilish smirk. You’re really far too pretty for his own good. “N-no! I mean, you’re a really, really good artist, and these look great! But, uh… it’s probably not something I want right now.”

You don’t seem offended. “That’s okay. Our doors are always open if you ever change your mind.”

He nods, hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. “Do… do you need a ride home?”

“You’re sweet. I’m okay, though. I’m just waiting f—” The sound of a motorcycle revving loudly drowns out the rest of your words, but instead of looking irritated like he’d expect one to be when being cut off in such a manner, the unpleasant sound merely earns a fond roll of your eyes.

You’ve gone silent, seemingly having forgotten about finishing the second half of your sentence, and Chan’s eyes follow your gaze to land on an approaching motorcycle that’s speeding down the opposite lane. It makes a U-turn—which Chan’s pretty sure isn’t even allowed on this two-way street—before coming to a complete stop right in front of you both.

The driver shakes out his hair upon removing his helmet, and Chan’s heart sinks when he saunters up to you. To put it simply, he’s gorgeous. A statue come to life. Tattoos peek out from under the collar of his T-shirt, and Chan wonders if some of them were your work. He looks like the epitome of the stereotypical “bad boy”.

He looks like… someone’s who’s exactly your type.

“Hey.” Your eyes curve like crescent moons and your smile is as warm as the sun setting over the horizon.

“Hi,” the man—who Chan now has no doubt is your boyfriend—says before pressing a long kiss to your lips as a way of greeting you.

It feels like he’s intruding on a private moment, somewhere he does not belong, and so Chan averts his gaze awkwardly in favour of dumbly staring at the ant that’s crawling in the gaps of the brick pavement.

“And who’s this?” Your boyfriend asks with a lazy smirk after pulling away.

“Chan, this is Jeonghan,” you introduce before turning back to the blonde man, gazing at him like he put the stars in the sky, “he’s the one who I bought the daisies from, Hannie.”

Chan swallows the lump in his throat. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Jeonghan drawls, but the way he subtly scans the other boy from head to toe tells Chan it’s anything but.

“Um… I have somewhere to be, so I’ll be going now.”

You nod as Jeonghan’s free hand trails down to interlace your fingers with his. “Okay, see you tomorrow then!” And Chan only manages a nod before he’s speed-walking down the street, trying to get as far away from the two of you as he possibly can. Even with his back turned, he can still feel the weight of your stares searing through his body.

His odd demeanour confuses you, and you hear Jeonghan scoff as you watch his retreating figure. “He so has a crush on you.”

“What? No way,” you dismiss with a laugh, “he’s just shy, he was like that too when we first met.”

“Babe, you know my instincts are never wrong.”

“Jealous, are we?”

“Nah, it’s cute,” Jeonghan drawls, “besides, you’re already mine, aren’t you?”

A fidgeting Soonyoung tells you the next day that Chan called in sick when you question him about his absence, and he can tell you know that he knows more than he’s letting on, but you don’t say anything else and leave.

Chan gets a call from Soonyoung that same afternoon, his friend’s voice frantic as he explains that a boy came in asking for flowers to give to his crush at school, and that he doesn’t know what to suggest.

Chan tells him to choose the anemones.

O C T O B E R.

The summer months fly by. Chan likes to think that he’s gotten over the silly crush he has on you, but every now and then his mind wanders back to you. What are you doing right now? What new designs have you come up with? Why haven’t you stopped by for more plants?

He might know the answer to the last one.

Soonyoung tells him he’s not being very subtle when he ducks into the back room whenever you show up; avoids making eye contact with you like his life depends on it; gives one-word answers to your questions about his day. You know you’re really not subtle when even Kwon Soonyoung says that, because everyone knows he’s the king of subtlety.

Eventually, you stop coming altogether. The bitter, irrational part of Chan thinks Jeonghan may have had something to do with it, but deep down he knows it’s probably (read: most likely) his fault from how he acted towards you.

It’s a quiet evening, and he’s crunching numbers at the register when he hears Soonyoung mumble, “Come here, you might wanna see this.” Curious, he joins Soonyoung by the display window and looks to where his friend is pointing towards.

Just outside the tattoo parlour, you’re speaking to someone, and it takes only one look for Chan to realise that it’s Jeonghan. He’s too far away to get a good look at your expression, though it’s clear as day that you’re arguing and the conversation is anything but pleasant.

It’s infuriating the way Jeonghan doesn’t seem to care at how distraught you are. While your posture is rigid, almost curling up into yourself, his is lazy and impatient as he leans against his motorcycle, arms crossed over his chest defensively and looking as though he’d rather be anywhere else than be there talking to you.

Jeonghan spits out something, it must be deeply hurtful because you visibly flinch back, and it makes Chan’s nails sink painfully into the skin of his palm. Jeonghan then puts on his helmet, signalling that he’s completely lost interest in the conversation.

And perhaps, you as well.

Even from all the way here, Chan can hear the roar of Jeonghan’s motorcycle as he drives off, and he thinks it might be the most unpleasant sound he’s ever heard.

“Wow,” Soonyoung scoffs, “what an asshole.”

You’re frozen from the ordeal, body so still that it’s like you’re glued to the asphalt. Then, one of your shaking hands reaches up to swipe angrily at your face, and Chan’s heart plummets even further when it registers that you’ve been crying all along.

A boy he recognises as your friend and fellow tattoo artist rushes out of the parlour, presumably also having been keeping an eye on you from inside the parlour. Your friend rubs your shoulder comfortingly as you cry into your hands, and before Chan knows it he’s flinging the door open with all his might, rushing down the street to get to you.

The boy, tall and handsome with shiny black hair, looks up with narrowed eyes before moving closer to you protectively as Chan approaches. “You’re the one from the flower shop, right?” Chan nods stiffly, trying his hardest not to shrink under the taller boy’s intense stare.

After what feels like an eternity silence, your coworker turns back to you and murmurs your name in his soft, melodious voice to draw your attention. Chan looks on awkwardly as he tells you that everything’s going to be okay and that he’s only one call away if you need anything. You can’t get out a word because your body is wracking with sobs, but you still manage an acknowledging nod.

The glance your coworker sends in Chan’s direction is frosty like the autumn chill, which makes his next words all the more surprising.

“Take care of them.”

Four words, but such immeasurable weight behind them. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to decipher what he really means with the simple request.

Don’t hurt them. Don’t you dare hurt them like Jeonghan just did.

The boy doesn’t wait for Chan’s response before disappearing back into the parlour, and Chan gingerly steps closer to you to wrap an arm around your shoulders, rubbing gently like your coworker did a while ago. Just minutes ago he thought he hated the sound of Jeonghan’s motorcycle, but that is nothing compared to the sound of your broken sobs.

Chan stays with you like that for a while, not caring if it’s been hours or if his legs start feeling numb from standing so still. If you let him, he’d gladly stay forever.

Eventually, you slowly break away from his hold to stretch out your arms. Your cheeks and palms are stained grey from your smudged eyeliner but that’s probably the last of your worries. “He broke up with me,” you whisper, staring down at your boots. “Just walked in and told me he didn’t love me anymore.” Chan’s breath hitches in his throat just as a stray tear escapes your eye. You wipe it away before he can.

Your voice trembles when you ask, “What did I do wrong?”

Nothing, he wants to say. Absolutely nothing at all. There’s so much he wants to say to you, like how none of this is your fault; how you’re one of the most amazing people he’s met; how if anything, it’s Jeonghan who’s made the biggest mistake of his life by walking out of yours. He wonders if you’d believe him. He hates how he can’t come to a definitive answer.

“I’ll take you home, okay?”

The drive to your apartment is silent. Chan sneaks glances at you whenever he gets a chance to, and every time he’s met with the same sight of you curled up in the passenger seat as you stare numbly out the window.

“Why did you avoid me?” Your sudden question almost makes Chan lurch in his seat, and he shifts uncomfortably as he tries to come up with a reasonable explanation.

“I thought… Jeonghan wouldn’t like it if I kept being friends with you.” It’s not a complete lie, but it’s not the complete truth either. It’s also not very reasonable, though he supposes it’s an explanation. Perhaps—definitely—not the one you deserve, but one nevertheless.

“Fuck what he thinks,” you say with a weak laugh, still not looking at Chan.

“Yeah… fuck him.”

He walks you to your door, contemplating what to say to you as you unlock the door. Will his words matter? Will you think he doesn’t mean them? Will you—

“You’re thinking so hard I can practically feel it.” He can’t decide if you’re amused or irritated, he hopes it’s not the latter. “If you’re gonna say something, just say it. Can’t be any worse than what I’ve had to hear today.” For the first time that night, you look at him right in the eye. Yours are hollow and swollen from crying, so devoid of the mirth they usually held that it makes him ache for you.

“You didn’t deserve that,” Chan finally says. “Whatever he said to you isn’t true, and you deserve so much better. And… I’m sorry. For avoiding you and all that. It’s… it’s a long story.”

There’s a small smile playing on your lips when you lean against your doorframe, and he thinks you know. No, he knows you know. He still wants to be the one to tell you though, but maybe not now. You’ve probably had enough of today.

“Thanks for taking me home, Chan. Drive safe, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, I will. You too.” It’s too late when he realises his mistake, but he feels the embarrassment is worth it when your quiet laugh reaches his ears.

“You’re not gonna keep avoiding me after this, are you?”

His head shakes vigorously. “No. Never again.”

Your smile widens ever so slightly. “Good to know.”

He bids you good night before turning to leave, but then you hear him call out your name just as you’re about to close the door behind you. You stick your head out into the hallway. “Yeah?”

“Everything’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

Your lips purse together tightly. “…I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

Chan hopes you do. He really does.

J A N U A R Y.

“Hey, you done?” Joshua asks as he peeks into your room just after your client left, “I have something for you.”

You swivel around in your chair to find him holding a pink bouquet. “Woah, don’t get me wrong, Josh,” you say, raising a brow at the flowers, “I love you, but definitely not in that way.”

“Ugh, you wish,” your coworker teases, shoving the bouquet into your arms. “Your friend dropped this off at the front desk while you were working. The one whose family owns that flower shop a few doors down.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Joshua parrots. “You two seem pretty close, huh? Way closer than you were before.”

You look up to shoot him a halfhearted glare. “What are you trying to get at? We’re just friends.”

“Do you want to be ‘just friends’?” Joshua grins, eyeing the way you lovingly trace the petals with your finger. “He seems to care about you a lot. It’s cute. A bit cliché, though, the whole total opposites thing, the soft one and the tsundere one.”

“Why are you still here being a pest? Don’t you have more clients to flirt with?”

Joshua leans closer with a smirk. “Aw, are you jealous?”

“You wish,” you mimic him from earlier as you shove him lightly with your free hand, the other still cradling the bouquet. “I have another appointment in ten, so get out.”

Joshua pouts. “You’re no fun,” he complains in a whiny voice, but he heads towards the door anyways.

“Josh, wait.”

He smiles to himself at how you’re gazing at the pink flowers adoringly. “Hm?”

“Do you know what kind of flowers these are?”

He squints, head lolling to the side as he thinks. “No clue,” he finally says, and your shoulders sag a little from disappointment. “You sure they aren’t just roses?”

“Dude, have you seen a rose before?”

“I’m just trying to be helpful! You’re so mean to me! Just reverse image search on Google or something!” Huh, perhaps Joshua Hong does have good ideas.

(You find out after work that they’re pink camellias, and the newfound knowledge stirs up a fuzzy feeling in your chest.)

M A R C H.

“Come to think of it… at least I didn’t get his face or name tattooed on me.”

Chan looks up from his notepad in alarm the same time Soonyoung and Vernon snort. “You mean you actually considered it?” he questions, completely in disbelief.

“Of course not,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand, “I don’t, and won’t, do that. Too much of a jinx, y’know?”

Chan scowls at the mention of your ex-boyfriend. “Why are we even talking about him?”

You put your hands up in mock surrender. “Don’t look at me, I’m not the one who started the conversation on what tattoos not to get. I covered up as many couple tattoos as there are flowers here. But hey, that’s just my own preference, to each their own.”

“Still think couple tattoos aren’t as bad as a tiger tattooed over your entire back,” Vernon muses, head propped up on his palm as he shoots Soonyoung a look. “How would you even cover that up in case you want it gone?”

You grin slyly. “I mean, if you’re really up for it, I’d be more than happy to work on it for you.”

“Well, I’m glad someone here has my back. Literally.” Soonyoung is too busy guffawing at his awful joke to care about the three of you groaning dramatically in protest. You decide you take it back. If he wants to get it done he can go to Josh.

“Okay, go to the back,” Chan commands. “Vernon, you too.”

“What? But I’m not the one who’s—” Vernon’s eyes suddenly light up with recognition upon noticing Chan’s pointed look. “Oh, okay. I got you, I got you. C’mon, let’s go,” he says to Soonyoung, and you don’t miss the latter wriggling his eyebrows at Chan as they disappear into the back room.

“What’s that all about?” you ask him once the other two are out of earshot. “Why’d you kick them out so suddenly? What are you three planning? And more importantly, what did you plan without me?”

Chan frowns, putting down his pencil and finally looking up at you. “I need to tell you something.” You blink at the sudden change in atmosphere before wordlessly gesturing for him to continue. “I like you,” he admits after several deep breaths, observing the way your eyes widen. “More than a friend, I mean, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted to let you know because it’s been quite a while, and I feel like if I don’t get this off my chest I’ll—”

“Woah, slow down,” you interject softly. “I like you too.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

You don’t like how surprised he sounds. “What do you mean, why?”

“I don’t know, it’s just that—I’m not your type,” Chan says after a lengthy silence, fidgeting in his seat. “Your type is someone cool, someone like… well, like Jeonghan.”

Your head tilts to the side, an amused smile tugging at your lips. “Says who?”

“Says… says…” And it’s then when it dawns on Chan how silly he sounds assuming your type when you’re right here, when he literally could’ve just asked you. “Oh.”

You can’t help but laugh at his deer-caught-in-headlights expression, and he thinks to himself that he will never get tired of the sound. “Exactly. I don’t have a type, Chan. I like who I like, and I’m telling you right now that I like you.”

Someone clears their throat, causing the two of you to spring away from each other and turn to the direction where the sound came from. “Uh… sorry to interrupt, but… should we still be here before you continue with anything else?” Soonyoung asks awkwardly.

“Obviously not,” Vernon answers with a roll of his eyes before either of you can, “and I think this is the perfect time for lunch for us.” It’s four in the afternoon. They just had lunch two hours ago, but you appreciate the sentiment. You and Chan watch as Vernon drags Soonyoung out the door while they giggle among themselves, no doubt gossiping about the confessions that just ensued.

“Where were we?”

“Hm…” Chan begins sweetly, voice trailing off as he pretends to think about it, “I believe we were talking about you liking me back.”

You look down at his notepad and smile at the drawing he had been mindlessly doodling a while ago. Cherry blossoms. For fresh starts.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Of course I am! What makes you think I’m not?” He’s babbling, a sure sign that he’s nervous. Very nervous.

“Chan,” you say, your voice losing its teasing edge in favour of a gentle tone. “Getting a tattoo is a pretty permanent decision and it hurts even more to have it removed, so I certainly won’t judge you if you choose to back out now. You can just use my design for something else, whatever you like, I won’t mind. Hell, you can even make a temporary tattoo out of it and see if it’s something you really want before getting the real thing.”

He shakes his head. “No, no. I promise I thought this through, and I don’t want to back out. It’s just that… that needle looks terrifying.”

You laugh softly. “I won’t sugarcoat it—it will hurt, a little like cat scratches, y’know? But we’ll take breaks whenever you need to, okay?”

“Okay,” comes his tiny mumble.

Absentmindedly humming to yourself, you turn back to Chan after double-checking your equipment only to now find him sitting on your bench shirtless. You yelp, having caught a glimpse of his toned upper body before quickly covering your eyes with your hands. “What are you doing?” you shriek.

Chan cocks his head to the side innocently. “What do you mean? I thought I told you I wanted it on my back. How is that supposed to work if I keep my shirt on?”

You lower your hands, still looking anywhere but at him. “Well, a heads-up would’ve been nice!”

“Why? Do I make you nervous?” he asks cheekily as he leans forward, far too close for the sake of your poor heart. “Consider this payback for all the times you’ve flustered me in the past.”

You push him back gently with a gloved hand. “You sure you want to taunt your tattoo artist? Do you know what Ditto is?”

Chan frowns. “The Pokémon?”

“Yeah, and your cherry blossoms are gonna look just like a pink version of it if you keep this up.”

You both know your threat is hollow, which is why Chan pushes his luck. “But you’re so cute when you’re shy!”

“You know what? I think Joshua should be done with his client by now, let me go see if he wants to tattoo this for you instead.”

You grin when his smile drops.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

a/n: i’m sorry if i got some of the symbolisms/blooming seasons wrong ahskwjs i did my best with the research 🤧🤧 i’m not gonna lie, this is probably one of my favourite pieces yet (but i may be biased bc it’s chan ahsjahsj) feedback is always greatly appreciated!! i’d love to scream about shy florist chan/badboy jeonghan/tattoo artist shua or chat about anything else with you guys 💕💕 also in case anyone’s wondering pink camellias symbolise longing (usually for someone who is missed) hehe :3

💌 thank you for purchasing our cherry blossoms! — dino’s flower emporium

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