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#like moreso than the drama we know about

puffywuffy8904 · 2 months

Text

Wanted to try my hand at designing some slightly older duck kiddos!!! Headcanons and insane ramblings under the cut:

I designed these to be around 14-15, so early high school age (y'know in a hypothetical scenario where they actually end up going to high school). I imagine they still adventure with Scrooge and the fam, just moreso on the weekends (cut to Huey on the floor of the Sunchaser frantically trying to finish his biology homework while they're being shot at by sky pirates). Donald and Della are also both a part of the school PTA. Nobody else in the PTA is happy about this. Now for individual headcanons:

Huey:

Straight A student that's kinda neurotic about his grades, will freak out if any of them drop to a B.

I like to think of his hat as his comfort item so he still has the same one and if it was up to me he would also wear it to adulthood. even if a grown ass man in a lil baseball cap looks silly.

He's sooo mad about Dewey being taller than him lol.

Dewey:

Solid B student with the occasional C.

Couldn't join the drama club and the basketball team at the same time so he chose the drama club (the actual reason is that he tried out for the basketball team and didn't make it but he won't admit that). He still likes to carry around a basketball and practice on the court by himself.

Grows cheek fluff like the others he just cuts his off out of insecurity.

He's the tallest.

Louie:

Has pretty shitty grades, not because he's not smart, but because he doesn't really try (I mean, kid already has it made, why bother?).

Still wears the same green hoodie every day like he did as a kid but this time it's a little bit bigger and baggier. Does he wear the same clothes underneath too???? We will never know.

He's the shortest.

Webby:

Also a straight A student like Huey but seemingly puts in way less effort than him (which bothers Huey greatly).

Has to carry all her supplies in her arms because she's not allowed to bring a bag to school anymore (she kept trying to bring weapons in. Not because she planned on using them, but because you can never be too prepared.)

In at least 5 different clubs, probably started like 3 of them.

#pretend I posted this 2 days ago when it was the triplets birthday ok #my art #if you repost this I'll send my goons to your house #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #huey dewey and louie #huey duck #dewey duck #louie duck #webbigail vanderquack #webby vanderquack #webby mcduck #idk how to tag webby's name these days ok #high school au #like I guess it's an au?? sort of?????#duckverse

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cutielando · 27 days

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Heyy, im not sure if you're doing requests or socmed au's,,But if you are... I was wondering if you could do a socmed au with max verstappen in which he's secretly dating a nurse or a med student; where he likes meets her on vacation in croatia where she's studying; she sings in a klapa (a traditional acapella group) and he ends up at one of her performances, and there is like media coverage on how he was seen with an unknown girl,,, they keep their relationship secret until some gossip site gets pics of them together infront of the hospital with her in uniform and they soft launch after that

i know this is like a bit detailed, but i CAN NOT write for the sake of all that is holy

Anyways... Absolutely LOVE your writing❤

a/n: this is my first time doing something like this, so i’m not doing my best work right now but i still hope you like it!!❤️

my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

Instagram

liked by yourbff, yourbrother and 391 others

yourusername a little time away from the hospital🦋

📍Split, Croatia

view all 16 comments

yourbff i forgot what time off felt like😩

yourusername you and me both😭

yourbrother what's with that swimsuit????😯

yourusername i don't know what you mean

yourbrother you make it so hard to be nice to you

yourusername i know, but you love me regardless

friend1 you look so good!!!❤️ hope you enjoy your vacation!!

yourusername thank you babe!!!❤️

friend2 how does it feel to finally breathe outside of the hospital 🥲🥲

yourusername i kinda miss it, to be honest 😂

yourbff don’t listen to her, she’s drowning in mimosas

yourusername don’t out me

liked by landonorris, alex_albon and 483,175 others

maxverstappen1 summer break has never felt so good

📍Split, Croatia

view all 78,174 comments

landonorris i bet you're enjoying it more than we are ;)

maxverstappen1 shut your mouth

landonorris don't hate me for speaking the truth

maxverstappen1 shut up

alex_albon getting some extra sun in there, maxie boy

maxverstappen1 you're a menace💀

alex_albon i’m speaking the truth 👍🏻

redbullracing hope you have a wonderful break, champ!❤️ you deserve it!! liked by maxverstappen1

user1 he looks so good, Jesus😩😩

user2 why are lando and alex teasing him in the comments???😭

user3 they're probably just trying to embarrass him because he never posts topless pics or something lol

user2 or maybe he met someone while in Croatia??

user3 possible, yeah

georgerussell63 I see you've taken a page from my book on that first photo there ;)

maxverstappen1 i have to learn from the very best😂😂

georgerussell63 you’re doing good for your first time

charles_leclerc where did you disappear last night?

maxverstappen1 i didn’t?

charles_leclerc bro, nobody could find you for hours

landonorris he was up to no good, charlie :))

maxverstappen1 i’ll block you

user4 i wanna live his life so badly 😭😭

user5 same🥲imagine being him

user6 he’s glowing ever since he ended it with Kelly

user4 that bitch was milking the life out of him. he seems to be doing well now

liked by formula1wags, racingforever and 12,184 others

formula1gossip Max Verstappen was spotted at a klapa music night last night in Croatia where he's currently on vacation. Moreso, he was spotted having dinner with one of the members of the group. Is there something going on in the World Champion's love life, so far away from home?

view all 724 comments

user1 MAX???

user2 this is the most Max thing he could ever do

user3 kinda wish this was true, he needs someone after the whole Kelly drama

formula1wags detective mode activated

user4 doing God's work, thank you admin

charles_leclerc so that’s where he was

user5 hahahahaha CHARLES

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff and 415 others

yourusername back to work 🩺

view all 20 comments

maxverstappen1 nobody can pull off wearing scrubs like you do🫶🏻

yourusername staaaaawp

yourusername who gave you permission to be this sweet???😭

yourbff what about me?

maxverstappen1 i only have eyes for Y/N

yourusername atta boy 😊

yourbrother i don’t like all of this flirting in the comments 😒

yourusername okay

yourbrother did you hear what i said??

yourusername no, i read it

yourbrother stop being a smartass

yourusername never 😋😋

charles_leclerc glad to see the mystery girl has a name

maxverstappen1 stay away

charles_leclerc calm down

yourusername baby, be nice

charles_leclerc yes baby, be nice

liked by formula1wags, maxiesbaby and 11,482 others

formula1gossipp Is Max Verstappen off the market? The reigning F1 champion was seen outside the hospital getting cozy with a nurse. We can confirm Max was NOT a patient at the hospital, seemingly only spending a few minutes with her before he departed and she rushed back into the emergency room. Is our World Champion officially a taken man?

view all 572 comments

user1 no way he bagged a nurse😂

user2 even though this is an incredible invasion of his privacy, if this is true then i'm so happy for him🙏🏻

user3 i hope they're together, whoever she is☺️

user4 finally, we're free of kelly

user5 i honestly thought he wouldn’t get away from her 🥲🥲

iMessage

maxie💙

i'm sorry..

y/n🩷

?????

what happened?

maxie💙

there were some paparazzi at the hospital last night, they took some pictures of us and posted them online

they can't see your face

but they definitely know it was me

y/n🩷

babe

it's okay

it was bound to happen eventually

maxie💙

i don't want you to lose your privacy because of me

you need to focus on your studies

not deal with this

y/n🩷

babe

i knew what i was getting myself into when we started dating

i'm almost finished with my studies

nobody is distracting me from anything

don't worry, i'm good

maxie💙

so we can tell the world about us?

y/n🩷

if you want, then yes

maxie💙

i want everyone to know i have the hottest and smartest girl😮‍💨

y/n🩷

you’re making me blush

baby

i miss you so much

i can’t wait to join you 😭

maxie💙

not more than me

i’m counting down the days until i see you 💙

Instagram

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 2,194,573 others

maxverstappen1 yes, the rumors are true. i have a girlfriend, and she is indeed a nurse at the local hospital in Croatia. we decided to keep the relationship to ourselves because i didn't want her privacy taken away from her, or her focus shifted from her studies. i wish we could have had the opportunity of announcing this on our own terms, but the paparazzi got the best of us this time. i urge you all to be respectful towards her, any hate towards her will absolutely not be tolerated by me or anyone from my team. i hope you will come to love and respect her as much as i do

comments on this post have been disabled

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

REQUEST HERE

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ashironie · 3 months

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I don’t have a good feeling about Celia

I tried to post this earlier but it got deleted so fuck

But from so many standpoints she just irks me

-She has the same character archetype as Alice. Many have pointed out their similarities and while this by itself isn’t much (as is everything on this list) with everything else it makes me weirded out

-She just came out of the blue. We had no warning in the episodes before no build up. We were introduced to the concept she was coming and then she came with little fanfare.

-Her introduction to the rest of the cast is a lot different than Sam’s. A lot understated. Maybe Jonny and Alex just didn’t want to do the same thing again but it felt really rushed and weird.

-I cannot see how she can possibly contribute to the plot in any meaningful way if she is just another victim coworker. She was introduced too late to have her death feel like anything but fridging (when you make a character just to kill them for momentary character drama), once again she shares a character archetype with Alice so the only thing that they could give Celia could be given to Alice perfectly fine, and she once again feels forced

-Celia was also too comfortable too quick for me. She just instantly trusted none of her coworkers would report her for talking shit about their boss. She seemed too genuine about everything even though she was in a completely new environment. And she was just so laid back with everything, like sure she might not know the full scale of things but she seems like she’s been their for as long as anyone can remember (something that might be due to the fact I associate this trait with Alice who has been there a long time)

-idk if I’m reaching or going crazy with this one but Alice seemed off. She moreso just said “I’m Alice” and and Aliced all over the place. But as soon as Celia left she said ‘yeah’ sorta suspiciously? Maybe I’m crazy. Then she’s back to herself replying to Gwen, who we can assume is only less interested in what Celia has to say due to the situation she’s found herself in during ep 4 was it? with Lena. The only time we really get to know her thoughts about Celia when she isn’t in front of her is when she’s bugging Sam about his crush on her, and also literally all conversation she has with Celia she also has with Sam and shifts the conversation (aside from just meeting Celia) to Sam (imo). The only time we get her opinions on Celia away from other characters is the little ‘yeah’.

-We don’t see Colin’s reaction to Celia either, which would mark the third episode in a row where Colin is only mentioned (to my knowledge). Though we don’t have any mention that he’s been hostile to her. The only characters that truly talk to her and that we can see their reactions to her are Alice and Sam. One who I’m convinced is suspicious of her and the other who’s ’in love’ with her (I was completely caught off guard by this due to not even thinking about any of that in the very beginnings of a horror podcast, I’m autistic and demiromantic, and because I was half listening the first time I listened. I sense it more but it still feels like a stretch to me before Alice mentions it though makes a lot of sense due to Sam’s reaction to her mentioning it)

-I feel like I’d be amiss to not mention the fact this is the episode we truly have an Avatar in it. Needles is the first avatar we tma enjoyers know as an avatar (in Norris’s statement in ep1 we have the maybe scammer but it’s unclear weather that’s an Avatar, someone being possessed, or something else entirely). Thematically, this would be a great way to establish a connection with Avatar and Celia. She was introduced exactly when Avatars were. Also the episode name could also be a reference to the fact we are having our “introductions” to Avatars thought this episode, but that’s unrelated.

-People has also pointed out Celia is in Tma, same name and same voice actress (so no Michael situation or helen and Mel’s therapist situation [I think I remember them having the same voice actress and that being a problem] here). Although I don’t know what the could mean but that’s actually the reason I decided to rewrite this mini-notsomini-rant.

I could be wrong about all of this and am prepared to be wrong but still, needed to get this out there.

#the magnus archives #tma #the magnus protocol #tmagp #celia ripley #I personally think she’s an Avatar #but I may have just connected dots that aren’t there

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ryuichirou · 2 days

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Re: Gaslighter Rook. I wanna preface this by saying ofc people are free to hc whatever they want but I have some issues with what the other person said and how dismissive they acted about the whole thing. I apologize if this invites drama or discourse, that is absolutely not my intention, I moreso just want to share the other side's point of view for the sake of balance since you said you don't mind civil discussion even if we disagree. Firstly, yes a lot of the arguments for this come from the labcoat vignette. However, it is not all just because of one line. In the same vignette, Rook tells Vil he can't trust his own eyes because Rook knows him better than Vil knows himself which is a very common gaslighter tactic. He then further mentions that people will leave him unless he does what Rook tells him to and puts down the "me or everyone else" argument. Rook further tries to undermine Vil's ability to trust other people in Vil's dorm vignette by saying the other dorm members would never appreciate Vil's efforts for them even if they knew about them – a blatant lie that however still makes Vil withdraw from talking to them about it. During Vil's overblot, Rook refuses to give Vil personal space while he's having a mental breakdown and repeatedly asserts that Vil "doesn't deserve" it as well as claiming to be responsible for punishing him. After VDC, Rook not only claims that his vote was the deciding one despite having no way of knowing that but also claims it was the objectively correct thing to do as, again, Vil didn't deserve to win, simply because having a mental breakdown is ugly (since he was referring to the overblot, not the attempted cursing – which was never confirmed to be intended to be lethal by the way, that was also just Rook's assumption, one Vil, a character who already struggles to communicate with people especially if he feels they see him negatively, didn't fight but also didn't confirm). I also take issue with the claim that it cannot be abuse just because Vil respects Rook. Even ignoring how often irl abuse victims don't realize they're abused because of their warped perception of their abuser, we have examples of this even in twst. Mrs. Rosehearts wasn't a wonderful mother who suddenly became abusive when Riddle stopped making excuses for her behavior. Abuse doesn't stop being abuse because it isn't recognized and to a lot of us gaslighting victims, Rook's behavior is spot-on with things we went through, hence why we call him a gaslighter. Oh and a small note before anyone claims anything, according to multiple psychology sources, gaslighters aren't always aware of what they are doing. Me and others calling Rook a gaslighter don't automatically mean he WANTS to be evil toward Vil. Some of us see it that way while others don't but regardless, acting as though this headcanon comes from one single out of context line and not from a pattern of behavior Rook consistently displays feels very disingenuous and like it's trying to make us seem crazy when all we try to do is explain why we may not be comfortable with a character.

You don’t have to explain why you are uncomfortable. Neither me nor that Anon have made any judgment about it, and frankly, who cares why you don’t like a character. You don’t need reasoning for not liking him, a person might just think Rook’s hair is stupid or dislike characters with green eyes, and that’s enough. None of this makes you crazy, and this isn’t that deep.

If you look at the first ever reply I did on this topic, I said it then (and after that I said it time and time again):

Based on what you’re saying, your opinion is influenced by your past experiences. Which isn’t a bad thing, we all have our own biases, but it makes a proper discussion quite difficult, especially when there is trauma involved.

Because we love Rook as much as you hate him, and I fail to see why we should align our feelings and experiences with yours. This is not a public debate platform, this is not a discord server, this is my personal blog, and my opinion is always going to be prevalent here. I usually try to take the position “agree to disagree” also to avoid situations like this.

You’ve said that you just want to explain and share your side of the conversation, but in that case claiming that the other side’s opinion is dangerous or uninformed is a pretty shitty thing to do, just as it is shitty to completely ignore the points they were trying to make and put words into their mouths instead, alluding to them victimblaming and dismissing real victim’s struggles. What I’ve said multiple times at this point is that Rook Hunt isn’t a gaslighter. Not that it’s Vil’s fault for trusting him, not that if Vil respects him that it automatically makes Rook not an abuser (Anon didn’t say that either). Not that Rook is always right. Not that Rook has never hurt Vil. I’ve even said that we can’t say for certain that Rook’s brutal honesty is always helpful and doesn’t affect Vil in any bad way:

Maybe sometimes it would be better for Vil to just take it easy and relax instead of perfecting every single thing, but this isn’t what Vil wants for himself: he doesn’t want to be pampered, he wants to be appreciated for his hard work.

Just because this is what Vil wants doesn’t mean that this is what’s best for him. I still don’t think that it makes Rook an abuser, by the way (which is also a completely different topic from Rook being a gaslighter). You have ignored every single argument I’ve made in all of my previous replies, which is fine, but then I don’t really see the reason for you to explain yourself if you’re not even going to listen to me again.

No one tried to paint you as crazy, and even if I or Anon thought that this entire argument (argument, not you) was weird, it doesn’t concern you. If Rook Hunt hurts you, why would you even interact with any discourse about him? Why did that very first Anon confront me for not calling Rook a gaslighter, if all you (collective “you”) people wish for is to explain your point of view? I am not an emperor of Rook Hunt land; I am a rando writing hcs about dicks on the internet. And Rook Hunt is a character of a gacha game.

I’ll repost another thing from my very first reply.

Just ignore shit that you don’t like because while it might be traumatic for you, to us it might be one of the few things that bring us happiness.

Please read this part carefully. And respectfully, let’s stop this. I don’t agree with any of your points/interpretation, I find them drastically off from Rook’s actual characterisation to the point that it’s almost baffling at times (I have read all the scenes you’ve mentioned and I disagree with your every single point.) And guess what, it’s absolutely okay. Like I, wow, have said time and time again, we all have our biases. Yours happens to be to read everything that Rook does in the worst way possible and to compare him to Riddle’s mom. Mine happens to be very different, and insisting on me just missing the point or thinking or feeling the wrong way or not being educated enough about gaslighting or abuse (something that I also experienced, and you are aware of that) feels pretty disrespectful. This isn’t what I meant when I said that I don’t mind a civil conversation. This doesn’t feel like a conversation. Because, you know…

Even if it feels completely off to how I view it, I can appreciate or at least respect it if they respect the way I do things. And don’t imply that I don’t get it or I am stupid.

I won’t write an actual rebuttal to your points because one thing hasn’t changed from my very first post about the topic: this isn’t about Rook Hunt. And I don’t want to discuss the so-called danger of fictional tropes that don’t even apply to the character in my view. Also, stating that the way I headcanon a character’s behaviour and share my thoughts with others is dangerous to other people in real life (because someone is going to take my opinion as a course for their actions, I guess?) is also ironic. Why isn’t me drawing problematic ships or writing dark headcanons dangerous then? It’s the same logic, I have heard this argument multiple times, and I fail to see how it’s different right now. Rook Hunt is not a real person, we see his interactions with others from all points of view, he has actual writers with their own intentions (none of which is to portray Rook as a terrible, atrocious person, he’s not even 100% a villain, he’s a character that helped the princess in the original story, and I believe that his writers keep that in mind, ffs), and it is drastically different from the way I would treat this situation in real life: exactly because I would have to base my opinion on the lack of other perspectives and not witnessing the situations myself, and a bunch of other factors connected to the fact that this is real life, and in those cases I would prioritise the victim of someone’s suspicious actions. What a surprise.

I also believe that Katsu and I did our part so you could easily ignore our Rook-centric posts that make you uncomfortable. So please do your part and don’t interact with our Rook-centric posts (this applies to anyone who is deeply uncomfortable with this character or any other character, for that matter). Coming up with ways to mention Rook in posts so it's easily mutable for you and only you and still getting treated like an abuse apologist who spreads dangerous ideas makes one feel kind of silly for ever trying to be considerate and respectful. You’ll have to come up with ways to deal with that on your own now. This conversation is over.

This is also the last post I’m writing on this topic, every follow-up ask or comment about it (from anyone, anywhere) won’t be replied to.

#replies

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phasesofpencils · 1 month

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Idk both shows have some serious issues but imo character wise, and pacing wise [comparing season 1s at least] Helluva is SLIGHTLY better. My pov of this under the cut.

Tldr: Hazbin requires homework and is unfocused in characters and plot, Helluva [season 1] is focused on actually establishing the characters as characters and developed a plot LATER that it focuses more on.

The characters in Helluva feel more like characters, rather than talking props like the Hazbin characters. You get a sense for their deal and their personalities and dynamics even from episode one: Blitz is the eccentric boss who is obsessed with his employees. Loona is Blitz's adopted daughter that he dotes on but she also hates everyone and everything, especially Blitz and enjoys messing with Moxxie. Moxxie is the more quiet one and tries to be more professional who tolerates Blitz and is tired of his bullshit while also trying to give him a level of respect since he IS his boss. Millie is Moxxie's wife who is in a loving relationship with him, is occasionally microagressive towards Loona and gets annoyed with her sometimes especially with how she messes with her Husband and kinda enables and brushes off Blitz's stalking. And Stolas is overly horny and obsessed with Blitz that Blitz tries to distance himself from but is also stuck with bc he's his ticket to keeping his business.

Hazbin characters feel restricted to their one archetype: charlie is happy, angel is flirty, husk is grumpy, nifty is whacky, Alastor is "creepy" [except he isn't], pentious is the butt of the joke, etc. And the Hazbin characters rarely feel like they go any deeper than that, besides maybe Angel in episode 4. And we never really get a good sense of the characters dynamics with each other are within the group. We know Husk and Angel go from Angel harrassing Husk and Husk not being cool with it to them understanding each other and becoming friends [maybe potential love interests]. And we know Charlie and Vaggie are dating, but that feels less bc we actually see and explore their relationship as partners and moreso bc we are told and have to be reminded.

And let's not forget, that with season 1 helluva had the SAME episode count as Hazbin and with LESS time per episode. Sure Helluva was more episodic in the first half, but then it started establishing a plot half way through, like it or not, and actually started shifting more of its focus on it [for the price of their elevator pitch essentially, the whole main premise of the show, to focus on Stolitz drama].

Hazbin HAD a plot from the beginning but it stumbles, ignores, or hardly wants to focus on it in favor of introducing new characters, most of which are supposed to play some big part, when we barley have gotten to know our main cast.

Hazbin:

ep 1: introduced to the cast, also Adam and Lute

Ep 2: the Vees and Pentious

Ep 3: the overlords

Ep 4: [no new characters but we're only JUST getting to focus on one, and what his struggles are]

Ep 5: Lucifer and Mimzy

Ep 6: Sera, Emily and Cherry [and St Peter if you want to count him]

Ep 7: Rosie and the Cannibal town

Ep 8: [no new intros but we have our big battle]

She introduces too many characters without having the time to really explore them, pretty much relying on fans to do HOMEWORK to find out details about the characters from old livestreams and sifting through her twitter rants. Hazbin introduces all these new characters and expects to "pay off" half of it by the end of one season, sometimes even by the end of the same episode they're introduced in. By the end of the season the main cast are friends, not because that friendship was properly developed and more so bc the plot needs them to be. Which makes watching the show frustrating and confusing bc watching these characters you never really get a solid explanation for their motives and bond, they feel more like they're just there to provide commentary on events and characters happening around them at times.

Helluva introduces characters but with the expectation that they'll either be inconsequential one offs [sinner clients] back ground characters [Wally] or with the intention of bringing them back when they decide to do more with them later on. [Striker]. Despite how you feel about the characters and what they do or don't do with them, Helluva i feel something for the characters, even if it's annoyed and frustrated but that's because i KNOW what their motivations and dynamics are.

Viv had YEARS to come up with a satisfying story for Hazbin but by the end of the season it feels like fan interpretation/past familiarity is doing most of the heavy lifting for the show. Hazbin was created for fans who have been following Viv's every thought since Zoophobia and leaves new fans behind expecting them to get caught up on their own or by having old fans come up to them and EXPLAIN it to them. While Helluva at least is being fleshed out at about the same time we're seeing it, it was a spin off for Hazbin that started as a general idea she had to explore a different aspect of hell that grew from there, so it actually takes the time to explain and flesh out characters and motivations.

#hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical

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nardo-headcanons · 3 months

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Hi, I love your headcanons about the world of Naruto. You explore the world more than the manga itself :))

I wanted to know what you think this scenario would be like: a girl who is Tobirama's granddaughter, and who at the same time, is Orochimaru's illegitimate daughter,

But she wouldn't know that, so she was raised in Konoha away from him, and forced to run the Senju clan on her own, since Tsunade is away... I know it sounds weird, but I love the potential drama

Hi dear, thank you so much for your sweet words! For this one, my take might not be what one might expect.

Tobirama's reaction to his granddaughter being Orochimaru's illegitimate daughter

If he found out that this girl is related to one of the biggest enemies to his village, Tobirama would definitely lose his marbles. To him, the village matters more than anything else, and even if he doesn't want to admit it, he is gonna start resenting his granddaughter, but even moreso, his daughter. It wouldn't even really matter that his daughter didn't even know that Orochimaru was gonna betray the hidden leaf later on, he would have trouble keeping these things seperate.

Orochimaru's reaction to his illegitimate daughter

If Orochimaru didn't know about her existence before and only found out about it later he... kinda wouldn't really care? It'd surprise him a little for sure, but he wouldn't be very shocked about it. The fact that she is Tobirama's granddaughter would be mildly amusing to him; he'd think of it as an interesting coincidence, especially because his and Tobirama's methods aren't so different from one another, since they both see themelves as intellectuals (by using intellectualism and 'science' to satisfy selfish and/or illegitimate desires but we don't talk about that) and even Tobirama's prejudice and Orochimaru's fetishization of the Uchiha are two sides of the same coin.

Although I hate Burrito and don't consider it canon, I agree with the fact that Orochimaru would make at least a decent father.

Bonus: Hiruzen's reaction to Orochimaru's illegitimate daughter

He would definitely be surprised at this new information. He trusts that woman very much and he would try to convince her to stay by the side of Konoha and abandon any attachment she has to her father.

#naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto scenarios #naruto headcanons #naruto fanfiction #naruto imagines #naruto au #tobirama headcanons #senju tobirama #orochimaru #orochimaru headcanons #naruto meta

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murfpersonalblog · 1 month

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IWTV S2 - Exclusive Special Preview Breakdown

I literally just got home and am speedrunning frame by frame through ANOTHER huge trailer that dropped while IRL had me in a chokehold today--AMC, y'all are tryna put me in the hospital, ISTG! We're EATING SO WELL in the fandom!

That's the SECOND MOFO to shoulder-check my daughter--DEATH to all of them!

past!Lesmand in Les Innocents I assume.

This is spiiiiiiiiiicy, cuz it directly links up with what they show later about Claudia's diaries:

I BET! You choke-slammed me like my a-hole father-uncle-brother did, and refused to toss his desanguinated husk in the incinerator with his 9-fingered sidepiece! DISHONOUR!

DRAG HIM, Claudia!

(Why even bother touching it, ew.) I love how JA's voice over is explaining how Lou & Claud have experienced true horror, and they show some dried out skeleton from Eastern Europe, knowing good & well some corpse is LIGHT, compared to the mess they've been through.

this is FERAL.

HD footage of the infamous too-effing-dark-and-blurry Loustat kiss. At long last.

omg Lestat is a TROLLLLLLLLLLLL 😅

I'm getting the impression that there's barely a scene WITHOUT Lestat haunting Louis, even when his new boo's right there! Poor Armand never stood a chance. U_U

Assad said "Armand cannot help but feel Lestat's presence--" you mean like LITERALLY? With the Mind Gift? So Armand KNOWS Louis is hallucinating Lestat the whole time!? 😱

DANG, Louis needs Lestat as a scapegoat to blame when things go wrong, but he also needs Lestat to be his guilty conscious helping him make the "right" decisions.

What's WILD is that SamStat's so dang good at being this p.o.s. we (via Louis' POV) are supposed to hate--but this isn't even Lestat! It's a literal figment of Louis' traumatized imagination, even moreso than the descriptions Louis gave to Daniel in 1973. It is so much clearer here WHY Louis went off on Lestat in SanFran, cuz he'd been dealing with a fake Lestat for possibly decades by then, driving him nuts, that Louis then raged against in the first interview. I really like that AMC is showing us this--it hits so much better than just getting a couple lines in the book, and next to zero references in the movie.

TELL IT, JACOB! Y'all know those friends/family that just LOVE a bad boy--someone toxic AF that no one in their right mind would seriously consider, cuz they're addicted to the high that DRAMA gives them. They don't feel like they're really living/loving if everything's not a freaking rollercoaster. Which is why REBOUNDS are often a bad idea! They never process their damage before jumping to the next inevitable disaster--Louis LITERALLY carrying his past baggage with him. U_U

"Die, Claudia." 😒

LOUMAND'S BEDROOM AT LONG LAST! 😭 It's so cool! (My nerdy The Sims gamer heart is having palpitations; it's nothing like I expected. ❤️ MORE jail/cage bars.)

Not a shocker--I bet these are the ones about Paris (neatly sliced out), not the ones about Bruce (torn out). The agreement part is interesting though, cuz Louis has to ask Armand's permission to see his daughter's diaries, which means Armand's the one keeping them away--the question is WHY? Cuz we know Louis' memorized her diaries. So I'm wondering if it's cuz Daniel's been poking so many holes that Louis' starting to doubt his memories about what happened, and needs to see them for verification? OR, Lou has no memories of what happened and what was on those pages, and Armand's like "We REMOVE the Damage So We FORGET The Damage."

Chile, you been knew Louis' cuckoo bananas--the REAL mystery is Armand.

Yeah, we been knew Ben Daniels was gonna out-Lestat Lestat, the man's oozing Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent.

Meanwhile Louis looks beyond disgusted.

RIP to all the Meat being butchered on stage.

"Dare I say it's a much gorier season." PERFECT. I really wanna see them BE VAMPS, not just the Theatre. LFG! ^0^

#interview with the vampire #the hype is real #must see tv #loustat #loumand #justice for claudia #iwtv tvc metas

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fuutaprotectionsquad · 5 months

Text

Yknow I feel like I should have a main post where I share my Milgram opinions/verdicts (thought of this bc i was writing my sister's opinion on the milgram characters). So I'll go character by character.

Will anyone read this? I don't know but its here

Haruka: I relate to him a bit (shitty mother, intrusive homicidal thoughts, neurodivergence). I def feel bad for him but hes still really guilty in my mind. I just think the whole killing for attention thing is a really dangerous mindset you can't just get out of, especially if you're being told you're not in the wrong. And it definitely seems like he doesn't actually feel bad for the girl he killed, just feels bad because people are mad at him for it. Idk. But I enjoy his dynamic with Muu a lot, even tho its toxic i just think its really interesting. But I wish him the best and he deserves a hug. His songs are mid tho (/hj i like them)

Yuno: I love her personality and I think shes so fun, but I honestly don't think about her a lot compared to the others. But I love her and specifically enjoy her dynamics with (obv mostly in fan content) Kazui, Mahiru and Fuuta. Her and Fuuta are such a good platonic ship (romantic is fun too). Innocent vote, obv. I like her songs, but Tear Drop moreso than Umbilical.

Fuuta: Oh my god I wonder what I think of him. In all seriousness he's a major hyperfixation of mine at like every given moment. I adore him and i think he deserves better and to be innocent. Like he feels so guilty for what he did and he didn't know any better, everyone around him was encouraging his behavior and praising him for it. But then it got too far and all his friends abandoned him and blamed him like. Poor fuuta :( and he's like 100% right when he says him and es are exactly the same. On another note, major fan of 0309 (romantically, but either way works), and also love his dynamic with Haruka, Yuno, Mahiru, Amane and Es. His songs are both in my top three (backdraft being #1)

Muu: Tied for my fav character(? Fuuta might beat her idk) I love her personality and vibe and everything just ❤️❤️ queen shit. And her queen bee design is gorgeous. Typically my favs are men but shes one of the first women ive hyperfixated on this much. Again, love her dynamic with Haruka, not from a like. healthy relationships could make the characters better standpoint, but from a story perspective its interesting. But yeah guilty. As for her songs, INMF is my #2 and i like After Pain

Shidou: Honestly I used to be kinda indifferent about him and just found him to be boring but then I rewatched his voice dramas and read some fics and I like him more now. I feel really bad for him bc he went through a really shitty situation which he felt he had the power to change and was stuck in a shitty moral dilemma bc of it. And in the end he did shitty things to save those he loved and it didn't even matter. He feels so guilty and doesn't deserve it. Innocent <3. Also romantic 0507 ftw (0506 is cool too). Him and Amane are silly too. As for his songs i like them, but they're not my fav

Mahiru: i like her, but im not too like. invested in her ig. But i feel bad for her :( she just wants to feel love and like. clearly she did something wrong but she didn't know she was. She never intended to hurt anyone. So innocent. Unless we find out she like. did something really fucking bad then maybe guilty. But in I Love You it implies it was a mutual toxicity so it probably wasn't something super terrible? But anyway. I love her with like all the characters cuz shes just so fun to see interact w others, but specifically with Yuno, Fuuta, Shidou, Amane and Mikoto.

Kazui: Hes so fun i love him. Like all he wants is to be honest and be himself but he feels pressured to lie and then finally he tells the truth and his wife fucking kills herself like- jeez- poor guy. Like following the gay theory, i get why she mightve done it (imagine being told the romance you built your entire life around for like 20 years was all a lie, and that your husband never actually loved you and just pretended to and every time you kissed or something he was just pretending like. that sucks poor hinako) but its so awful that he had to go thru that. But anyway innocent, kazui come out we accept you. And stan 0507. Song wise cat is easily #4 but. half is ok ig

Amane: Yknow i love amane but I also hate her and i think part of that might be the fandom? idk. I feel sorry for her bc she grew up in such a shitty situation but also i think shes beyond the point where we can uninstill those ideologies. Like shes 12, not 5. And amane says it herself that she has as much of a free will as everyone else and that her decision to kill/stay in this environment should be valued. Not that i think she should remain in this abusive situation, but she's not just some innocent kid whose being manipulated, she knows what she's doing. Hence, guilty. I don't think either vote will change her or anything so im voting with my honest opinion. As for dynamics, i love seeing her interact with all the other prisoners, but especially Shidou and Fuuta.

Mikoto: I love mikoto a lot but im so on the fence about his verdict. Ive been voting him innocent but theres still a part of me thats like. debating it. Bc he shouldn't have to be punished for John's actions, and it sucks that that's the situation hes in, but its that or more murders are left to occur. The main reason i say innocent is under the idea that John could go dormant or just stop fronting as much if we reduce mikoto's stress (like he says will happen i think). But hes so complex and fun i love mikoto. Specifically i love romantic 0309 but also his dynamic w the smoking group and mahiru. Also i love his songs.

Kotoko: I love her but also fuck her for hurting fuuta (and mahiru too but mainly fuuta). She annoys me bc she was so quick to almost murder several people based on a preliminary verdict that was made using little information. Like she knew this wasn't a concrete verdict, but attacked them anyway. I get her ideology of "kill people who evade justice to protect the weak" but only when they've actually done bad things (ie. the guy kidnapping the little girl). But when she doesn't know what they did and knows the person accusing them doesn't either???? Like bruh. But i like her character shes fun. I like seeing how she interacts with es and everyone she attacked. And songs, harrow is okay and i really like deep cover.

Whew im done.

#this has been in my drafts for a hot bit so im posting it #milgram #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha

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shwarmii · 10 months

Note

how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

#shwarmi #me #disenchanted if #disenchanted #luci rivera #edit: ngl the Cardlin video (or however you spell his name) swuicks me out a bit bc he says ''[I miss] Your body..'' and i went #EW UGH GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME but it was two words so ill allow it to stay on the list bc not everybody is so anti towards the #idea of other people seeing them as sexy. gahh i hate being seen as sexually appealing. makes me wanna gag ugh #*squicks

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cartoonrival · 3 months

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obtio and itachi for the character bingo. actually lets also go with sasuke lets get the whole uchiha family drama in here

ok i did this bingo a while ago w obito but im doing it again because my opinion is more developed since we've now discussed him at length. i think he's fucking annoying and his significance in the final arc is absolutely bizarre and deeply undeserved.

obito's significance in the story should begin and end at kakashi's backstory. like you've talked about, to kakashi, obito is more of a symbol than a person; kakashi was deeply traumatized (understandably) by obito's final moments, and is infinitely plagued with guilt over the person that he was at that time, blaming himself for his friends' deaths even though it wasn't actually his fault. he had no respect for obito until obito's final moments, where he sacrificed himself for kakashi and gifted him HIS EYE, GOUGED FROM ITS SOCKET AND SWAPPED WITH KAKASHI'S, HEALED INTO PLACE BY HIS 12 YEAR OLD TEAMMATE, finally making kakashi understand that looking out for the people you love moreso than the mission itself is honorable, actually. obito represents what kakashi should be and what he was unable to be, a point of failure and something to strive towards and fall short of forever. the horror of obito's death is emblematic of what's wrong with konoha and the ninja system in general-- why was rin, a child, taken prisoner? why was it left up to kakashi and obito, children, to rescue her alone? why were the three of them on the battlefield to begin with, KAKASHI AS THE TEAM LEADER? children gouging their eyes out as parting gifts. obito cared about kakashi from the beginning enough to give him an actual piece of himself, but kakashi couldn't be assed to give him the time of day until the moment obito died (because he was 1) an asshole as a child (love and light!) and 2) also traumatized by his father's SUICIDE (ALSO A BYPRODUCT OF WAR) which shaped his world view in an extremely rigid way), and THIS should haunt him forever. he can grow from it and make new connections and try his damnedest to make up for it, but obito should NOT come back. there is NO REASON for him to come back. he is not even SLIGHTLY an interesting enough character in his own right to justify him coming back, especially not as a MAIN PLAYER IN THE FINAL BATTLE. HUH?

his obsession with rin, a girl who ALSO had zero personality and thus i don't care at all about their relationship with each other, was absolutely bizarre and ridiculous, the way he hung onto it i understand objectively was a symptom of his stunted emotional growth and being a very broken man, but the way this was executed was MISERABLY done, no one cares, shut the fuck up, she didn't even like you (she liked kakashi, for some fucking reason, weird to make that like her only personality trait just for kakashi to not even like her back). like his anger that kakashi didn't protect her is 1) sexist but we know this (she is apparently incapable of protecting herself) and 2) annoying because again, this would serve much better as just another failure notch in kakashi's fuckup belt, but instead this dude comes back at the age of 32 to be like ooououuuugh all i wish is to hold hands with the girl i had a crush on when i was 12 and know nothing about..... SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP

and obviously the fandom. fucking. KAKASHI/OBITO???? REALLY????? kakashi cares about obito because he was his teammate and a symbol of his personal failures, and obito sacrificed himself for kakashi because he was a kindhearted child and both of them were raised as war machines. how the fuck does that ever ever translate to romantic attraction. ever. what. they weren't even actual friends. why is this so popular. like in what world.... IN WHAT WORLD............

itachi....... itachi............i loveyou......... i mentioned this in a previous post but to me itachi is gen the POSTERCHILD of everything that is so wrong with the political system. he grew up SWALLOWED by it and chewed up and spit back out. his father took him to a battle field when he was like 4 literally just so he'd see what it was like. he was raised as a double agent and brainwashed so seamlessly that by the end he didn't even know whose side he was actually on. absolutely fascinating character and heartbreaking and devastating and horrible. ive never never never seen siblings written as well as kishimoto wrote sasuke and itachi, because LITERALLY WHO CAN GROW ME A NEW BROTHER... itachi loved sasuke more than anything. im convinced that if you dont think he loved sasuke then you weren't watching. obviously, what he did was terribly cruel and he ruined sasuke's entire life and no amount of i love you and im sorry can fix or change that, but he loved him. driven to do something unspeakably horrible by the government officials who had groomed him into a killing machine, setting the fate of his clan and the village and potentially beyond that on his teenaged shoulders, but he had to spare his brother. like itachi is deeply deeply brainwashed by konoha and this is something that he never gets over; he spares sasuke and drives him to hate him because he's afraid what would happen if sasuke crossed konoha, what konoha would do to him, he thinks that maybe he's doing the right thing and protecting the village, maybe, if sasuke grows up strong, stronger than him, no matter what it takes, then maybe he'll fare better than itachi did. but also there needs to be someone left to hate him for it. itachi can't bare to get out where everyone who knew him, who could really really hate him like he deserves to be hated, is dead. its selfish, obviously its fucked. but he needs it and he's terrified.

itachi's manipulation of sasuke's entire life is frankly very very fascinating and horrible to me, the willingness to rewrite and rewrite sasuke's beliefs and control every aspect of what he knows and believes and wants to a desperate attempt to keep him safe and to keep the village that fucked them both over safe. normally i think bringing characters who already got their epic death scene back from the dead cheapens the weight of the original death, but with itachi i actually think his return is sort of critical just because it breaks my heart so fucking bad. sasuke please don't call me perfect. sasuke this is everything i did wrong and im sorry and i love you and im not going to control you anymore. whatever you think is right, ill always love you. like itachi fucked up irrevocably. but man. thats his brother. thats his baby brother. we are fucked. i think given time sasuke will not think as highly of itachi as he does when the story ends and i think this would be a fantastic development to watch, but where things stand and considering how the rug has been pulled out from underneath him about one billion times i think its fully understandable that he has the take that he does by the storys end.

itachi was not a good brother, obviously, christ, but he DID love sasuke and i think what happened to them both is horrific

SASUKEEEEE i love a guy who doesn't know what he is doing or what he wants he just hates himself and his life and is terrified of weakness or connection or love and he gets led around by his nose because he's so full of hate and fear and anger that anyone who can help him direct it LITERALLY FCUKING ANYWHERE is immediately someone he will stand beside, until he changes his mind again. like im going to be sick. HES SO FUCKED. its crazy i think how little im about to write about him bc i think without direction my brain sort of looks just like @#**)#!H@FUIBEW*(#@*(WESDU@* *CWF)*WCF wrt sasuke.

was he right? umm im generally anti-tyranny but he was on the right track. it fucking sucks that kishimoto is so scared of change. im so glad he killed danzo. i fucking hate team taka though that was lame as hell idrk why kishimoto was afraid to just let him walk a lonely road the only road that he has every known and instead had to give him a bunch of tonally dissonant goons. devastating. what the fuck even. "you are the only person left who loves me and that terrifies and unsettles me so badly that i desperately need to kill you so that you'll stop and i'll really be alone" is an absolutely insane and also gay character motivation.

post canon sasuke is i think what makes me the most miserable with him (and im trying to get into this w b2, we'll see how successful i am) because i think its like. wow. what kind of person even are you after spending 7 odd years like how sasuke spent them. who even are you. what are you doing. what are you GOING to do. how do you know you won't change your mind and start hurting people again. how do you know you wont change your mind and start hurting yourself again. youre already hurting yourself. where are you. what is this. why are you alive. you should be dead. you deserve to be dead. you kind of wish you were dead. but also someone loves you and swears on his life that nothing in the world could ever make him stop, and you believe him and its so terrifying being known by yourself and by someone else but maybe things will be okay but maybe they wont and you hope that when the two of you die, its you first, because even though he says he never ever could you know he could get on without you but you have no idea who you'd be without him.

i wont rehash boruto because ive done that already but its critical as well. WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO HIM IM GONNA THROWUP

#asks157 #nrto #naruto #wont tag the first fellow bc this is major hate for him lol #sasuke #itachi

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snickerdoodlles · 2 months

Note

Thank you for sending me an ask for the author ask game! Now right back at you: F. canon fics or au?, V. post the last sentence you wrote, and X. give a summary of your current project! Thank you :)

you're welcome!! excited to see u in my inbox too :D ❤❤

F. canon fics or au?

yes! 😂

my preferences for canon vs AU largely depend on how much i feel a character is tied to their setting. for example, i don't really read anything that's non-mafia for kp. for me personally, the cores of the kp characters are so heavily influenced by trauma induced by the mafia specifically that i struggle to connect to versions of them that don't have that aspect. i know it's done, they're just not stories for me. i do pretty alright with AUs that are still mafia but with other elements (like magic) thrown into them to alter the setting, and i more-or-less consider canon-divergent AUs to still fall under the 'canon universe' umbrella, but i tend to be more drawn to pre-/post-canon or canon fics for kp because of the specific setting. the magnus archives would be another example of a fandom where i'm drawn to the impact of the setting on the characters specifically. i like all the characters a lot, but i frankly would not give a fuck about any of their stories outside of the horror context grinding them into dust.

on the flip side, i tend to esp love AU for anything where the setting is just set dressing to the character drama. this tends to be the case for a lot of stories with ensemble casts for me-- for example, a lot of animes, esp sport ones. i read a lot of AU for stuff like yuri!!! on ice and haikyuu!! because its a lot of fun to think of how to transfer those friendship dynamics to other settings, or put them all through hell in a different genre specifically because canon is slice-of-life. but also several of my costume cdramas are fun to AU because a lot of their drama is tied up in specific character dynamics, almost moreso than their specific settings. a story like bad buddy does AU really well too, because their story is in their romeo and juliet dynamic, not their setting.

that was a very long and rambly answer oops 😂 basically it boils down to what questions i have for a character and how necessary i feel canon is to exploring/answering them.

V. post the last sentence you wrote.

[stares at WIPs] which one of you was i last working on again...

...also some of these look very alarming without context lol, i'm just gonna cheat and give you a sneak peek for one of them 😂:

Chay's googling the pet store's hours as though they don't have its schedule well memorized by now. "I'm pretty sure us just owning a fish counts as animal abuse by now. How bad's our karma after our latest Mr. Gold, you think?" "Oh, we're definitely getting reborn as fish in our next life," Kim says over the rattle of the glass rocks he's cleaning. Chay bumps Kim's hip with his, lips screwed up in a pucker as he tries not to look amused. "Should we make merit at a temple before we go to the store, just incase?" Kim puts his hands together and bows his head reverently. "May we earn just enough that we don't wind up in a home like ours." Chay breaks, giggling loudly, and that's all the merit Kim ever needs in this life. "We could also stop risking our next life and just come clean to P'Khun." "Oh fuck no, I'm taking my chances with karma. At least it's known to be forgiving."

X. give a summary of your current project!

[points to snippet above] it's called "The Lives of Mr. Gold" !! it's summary is: Kim and Chay raise one fish.

aka Khun decides they should all bond over being fish fathers and buys Kim and Chay a goldfish to raise. Kim and Chay swear they're doing a great job of it.

[fic author asks]

#kinnporsche #fic: gone fishing #kinda #the lives of mr gold wont actually be an idiots & idioms update but it is inspired by something in gone fishing and gets the tag for it 😂

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moral-terpitude · 11 months

Text

Misadventures - Part 9

you say you want to chase the moon like fire well • together we can fake our own deaths here • just wanna be alone and watch as you all just disappear

A/N: I’m screaming. I’m sure y’all are screaming (maybe not as much as me cause I’ve had some of this wrote since I’ve wrote the beginning). It’s gotten so much longer than I thought it would be, and this isn’t even all the drama yet to come! Never thought the “second half” would be longer than the first.

Word Count: 9,910 (I almost crammed in 90 more words for 10k but I couldn’t fit anything else in here.)

Warnings: smut (unprotected sex, fingering, blowjobs), gratuitous use of the fuck word, bullying (her sisters are kind of bullies to Quinn I guess) over appearance/ food choices, um churches/organized religion but nothing from the Bible, adultery.

Summary: Quinn doesn’t have much in her life that can go smoothly without awkward hiccups, and sex is no exception.

[Masterlist][Series Masterlist]

“I’ll warn you,” Quinn said, coming out of the bathroom wrapped in two towels, droplets of water from the shower still dressing her shoulders as she dug through her bag, “I don’t dance.”

Tommy was untangling the cord to the steamer she had asked him to go get from the front desk of the hotel, “Well, maybe you’ve just never had a good dancing partner, eh?”

She tossed shoes on the bed, digging through the bag rather viciously without a response. She had only been informed that morning there was a block of rooms at the hotel for them to stay at to make everything easier with the ceremony being downtown and the reception being in one of the downstairs ballrooms.

“Suit from the cleaner?” She questioned, rather annoyed at his insistence on watching her struggle locating things in her bag, when she was sure there was something else he could be doing.

Which, was just her own anxieties about the way the night could go on seeping through, and she knew it, but unfortunately, Tommy had turned for the door before she got a chance to fully apologize.

He was able to hear the resounding “Fuck,” as the door clicked closed and something being thrown before he was out of earshot of the door.

He tried to remember as he got on the elevator if she had even eaten, or had more than one caffeinated drink, yet that day, two stipulations in his short time of knowing Quinn that he found were very critical to keeping her out of a mood.

The coffee moreso than the food, from what he had gathered.

The cleaner was two blocks away, which made him forgo taking the rental from the parking garage and watching the small sights of the city unfold as best as he could.

Tommy had fully intended on giving her hell for obscuring the fact it was a church wedding until this morning, but she didn’t seem to enthused about the fact either.

Coupled with her current mood, he figured the safest bet was to let it go.

He thumbed through the bills before tucking his wallet back in the back pocket of his jeans. He had declined, despite her insistence at paying for the suit to be laundered.

The bell above the door chimed as Tommy pushed his way into the coffee shop from their first day there. It was fairly empty, and he surveyed the board, trying to remember what it exactly was Quinn had ordered for a latte before they left.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“Just trying to decide.”

The girl eyed him with some speculation before speaking, taking in the dry cleaning bag slung over his shoulder, “Not trying to be a creep, but, you were here with the purple haired lady the other day, right?”

Tommy raised an eye brow before giving a reluctant nod.

“She got a Chai Latte with two shots of espresso and almond milk, if that helps you with your decision any.”

He smiled, a chuckle escaping, as he nodded, “One of those, then.”

There was silence, the espresso machine whirring to life as she sat the milk to steam, reaching for the black paper cup, “What’s the occasion?”

“Wedding.”

“Oh!” She lidded the cup and handed Tommy back the change, “Congratulations!”

He paused, quick enough that she probably didn’t notice, before he decided the girl was none the wiser and didn’t need the correction he had thought of giving, and instead nodded, “Thank you.”

Three quick knocks on the door pulled Quinn out of her focus of trying to trade the Opalite stones in her lobes for the gold hollow teardrops that had survived rattling around in her makeup bag.

“Just a sec!”

She had managed to get her hair dried and slipped into her dress, unable to tie the back, in the midst of Tommy being gone.

Despite her best recollection and dumping out her entire bag on the bed after a frustrating amount of digging, she had discovered that despite what she thought, she definitely hadn’t packed the vibrator like she thought she had.

The only moment I’ve had alone fucking wasted.

She opened the door, trying her best to keep the fresh coat of lacquer on her toes from smudging against the carpet, dress held up in her hands as she walked.

Quinn opened the door a crack and check to make sure it was Tommy, who waited patiently with the dry cleaning bag slung awkwardly over his shoulder in an effort to not crease anytbing, before opening it all the way to retreat to her spot in front of the mirror on the dresser, the entire contents of her makeup bag pulled out on top of it.

The dress fit her perfectly, grey matte fabric with a cutout that exposed all of her back, the scrawling pattern in her skin fully on display. The sleeves were short and loose, enough of a v-neck in the front that Tommy could see the shimmer of the jewel embedded in her chest in her reflection of the mirror, but not enough to be vulgar.

“I took a detour.” He spoke, finally hanging the suit on the back of the door, before setting the black cup next to the various cosmetic accoutrements that he had no clue about.

He watched her expression soften in the mirror, setting down the mascara to look at the familiar cup, before breaking out into a smile.

“Thank you,” her voice held a tinge of pensiveness as she took a sip, setting it back down, before she continued with her routine.

“How long have we got?”

“About an hour, but it takes about 10 minutes to walk to the church and I don’t want to be late.”

He nodded, doubling back to the door to retrieve the outfit, before heading for the bathroom.

“Do you—“

“No, I’m good.” She cut him off, her mouth making a tiny o as she continued with the mascara.

“Okay.” He didn’t make an effort to move, and Quinn could feel him as he stared at her.

She paused, eyes flicking to meet his as she halted her movement.

“What, do you want some?” She held the makeup wand out, flailing it around.

“No.” His brow furrowed, “Just—fuck it. Nevermind. I’m getting in the shower.”

She let out a breath as the water started.

“Do you usually only take a seven minute shower or did I make you feel rushed?” Quinn asked, toeing into the low heels.

She had smoothed her hair into a slightly messy chignon at the back of her head, and it took Tommy a moment to realize the only time he usually saw her without her glasses was when she slept.

“No, that’s normal.” He quipped.

He was mostly ready. Shirt mostly tucked into his pants. Zipper done but not buttoned. Shirt buttoned but tie loose around his neck. Vest on and not buttoned at all.

Quinn thought pouring into the dress was bad, but she had only ever seen him ready, and didn’t realize how much work a suit truly was.

“Do you ever let yourself ever enjoy the little things?” She prodded as she crossed the room, holding her hand out for the cuff link he was having a brief struggle with.

“I enjoy things. I’ve barely set an alarm all week.”

He let her fasten the other gold cufflink with less resistance than the first.

“Sleeping in with no alarm set and sleeping until just before the latest possible alarm you can tolerate are totally different.”

He adjusted the sleeves, white beneath the grey vest, not the same shade to match her dress exactly but dark enough to compliment it.

“Turn around,” he suggested, moving her so her back was to him, the seam of her dress sitting slightly off center, “it’s crooked. To the right a hair will fix it.”

“Oh.” she pinched the fabric at her waist,

giving it a shift, and watched him watch her in the mirror as he tied the plum and black tie, some scrawling pattern her eyes couldn’t quite focus on in the reflection, “You know I was only giving you shit when I said if you got a purple tie to match my hair would work.”

He finished buttoning, zipping and clasping things in the appropriate order before speaking, “Hold still, you’re still untied.”

She had almost forgot about the dangling strings by that point. Out of habit, she looked down, trying to keep her hair out of the way.

One of the strings had bunched itself up inside the dress. Tommy moved the fabric gently, not sure if it had any stretch to it or not, fingers gently skimming her skin to retrieve the thin band before tying it in a bow with its partner just above her shoulders.

Quinn tried to ignore the shiver that the action gave her, gentle and tender enough that she would probably spend more time thinking about it than she should.

“Okay, if we don’t go now, we’ll be late.” She said, “I’m not taking a bag, can you put my phone in your pocket?”

Tommy nodded, putting the key card in with it.

The walk was quick and the humidity from the last few days had finally subsided, but some of the heat still remained.

“Hi, Andrew.” Quinn gave her cousin a quick hug, before he walked the both of them to the front pew, to the furthest right side.

She watched him walk away, before he doubled back, bending down to whisper in Quinn’s ear.

“Emily asked please, please, no…” he huffed, “don’t make me say it, Quinn.”

She chortled, trying to cover the snort as she nodded, shooing him away with a wave of her hand.

“No fucking in the church,” she whispered, shaking her head and keeping her voice to a whisper so her great aunt, sitting directly behind her, didn’t hear anything.

The wood bench had been uncomfortable from the moment they sat down. Quinn fidgeted to try and get comfortable, but the jiggle of her leg halted when Tommy gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

“Shaking the whole pew, love. If you keep it up it’ll fall apart.” He leaned over, whispering the words in her ear as voices chattered around them.

“Sorry.” She whispered, finding herself tucked against him a bit more than she expected to be as Andrew brought more of their family members to sit.

Quinn hadn’t taken note of the ring on his hand until she covered it with her own, metal clinking from the rings she wore. She stalled for a moment before she realized it was on his pinky. His hand was warm through the fabric of her dress.

Fuck, his hands, the things I would let—

The processional music started, pulling her back to reality as she noted David was already standing and waiting with the officiant.

Out of the four bridesmaids that stood up with Emily, three of them were her sisters. Rebecca was her Maitron of Honor. Not completely surprising.

Anna and Liam were adorable, dressed in their little outfits as they paved the way for her sister to enter.

They all stood as the music changed. Her dad looked like he might have been a little teary eyed as he and Emily finally reached the end of the aisle, the veil resting gently on her shoulders as he gave her a firm hug.

Quinn tried to suppress the stupid grin that threatened to break through when she noticed Tommy had snuck his arm across the back of the pew as they sat.

Which she was thankful for since someone had cranked the air conditioning that morning, which left Quinn reveling in the heat she could feel coming off of him as they listened to the officiant begin the ceremony.

And it was anything but short. Somewhere in the midst of it she realized she was tuning it out. Quinn could feel her eyes glazing over as the officiant found another piece of the Bible to cram in to the ceremony.

“You never mentioned your family going to church.” Tommy took the moment of them lighting candles to lean over and whisper the words.

“‘Cause I never went with them to church.”

As she answered the comment, her eyes roamed the stained glass windows that towered over them, and Quinn realized whatever cologne he had on was fucking intoxicating. Some kind of ambery vanilla musk that she would be lying if she said wasn’t doing anything for her.

Quinn, you are in a church! Get your shit together.

It didn’t take much longer for them to say their “I do’s” and kiss. A sweet moment that, with their personalities, was exactly what Quinn would expect. A calm, gentle, peck and nothing worthy of the wolf-whistle that she heard come from the other side of the church.

She sighed in relief when they were able to stand once again.

At least being in the front means we get to leave first.

She shifted awkwardly, hoping no one noticed as she tried to unstick her thighs from each other.

Her sister hugged everyone as they departed the pew, the whole dismissal thing feeling awfully juvenile.

Quinn realized all the awkwardness as it was her turn. Out of the corner of her eye she saw David shake Tommy’s hand.

“Congratulations,” she gave her sister a tight squeeze and a few pats on the back, a moment that should have been warm and photo worthy.

“You never can tone it down, can you, Quinn.” Emily whispered the words in Quinn’s ear before letting her go, a smile on her face as if she had said a sweet thank you instead.

Quinn returned the smile, regardless, turning to walk away before anyone saw tears pricking at the corner of her eyes, and harassed her for making it all about her when it wasn’t.

The breeze outside was unexpected but calming. Quinn paused outside the church, smoothing her dress as Tommy caught up with her.

“The reception doesn’t start until five. What time is it?”

Tommy pulled his phone from the breast pocket of the jacket, “Three forty five.”

“Hmm,” she walked slowly, exaggerating putting one foot in front of the other before continuing, “there is a place that has…probably the best cheesecake I’ve ever had, and last time I was home I didn’t get any. We could walk there and back to kill some time.”

“Quinn, we live in New York, you’re telling me—“

“Yes. That there is better cheesecake than New York cheesecake found in New York. That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

She smiled, pausing under a tree by a parking garage.

“What are you doing?” She questioned, as Tommy dug back in the breast pocket.

“Just hold still. I’m doing something nice, eh.”

She heard the phone click as it unlocked.

“No…do not take my picture,” she held a hand up to cover her face.

“Why?” Tommy’s brow furrowed, “It’s a cherry blossom. They’re nice, aren’t they?”

“I…just,” she huffed, dropping her hand as her lip jutted out in a pout, realizing she didn’t exactly have a good reason other than she didn’t want to. “Is it my phone?”

“No. I can send it to you then I’ll delete it.”

“Fine.” She smiled for a second before frowning again, “Only if we can go get cheesecake.”

Tommy rolled his eyes before nodding.

She failed to mention the walk was up one of the steeper hills in the area. They wandered slowly, and Quinn would point out different houses and tell him who had once lived there, or talk about how the city had changed in the time she had known it.

“There was one time,” she led the way through the crosswalk, and her pace picked up, making Tommy assume they were in the final stretch as she eyed the store on the opposite corner, “I thought I wanted to do theatre. So I go to the auditions, I was so nervous the whole time that I didn’t get a role at all,” she looked at the lack of cars on the street and the crosswalk sign, still red, “but they put me on a team to help with set dressing and props. It was mayhem. You wouldn’t think there would be that much stuff to move around and keep track of. Despite all that, they ended up letting me be in charge of two props,” she held up two fingers as the light changed, continuing across the street as she spoke, “I don’t know if they thought I was stupid or what but the only things I was in charge of was a top hat and a coconut.”

She was surprised when she heard Tommy laugh behind her. An actual laugh.

The painted brick store was actually quite nice on the inside. Lavish bottles of wine and higher end snacks and cheeses packed it to the brim.

“Oh, I don’t know what I want.” She crouched in front of a large refrigerated display case, reading the small cards that described each flavor. “Maybe the chocolate.”

“They all look excessively rich.”

“Are you telling me you don’t have a sweet tooth?” She stood, furrowing her brow with a small amount of offense seeping into her voice.

Tommy shrugged, maintaining an air of nonchalance, hands stuffed in his pockets, “It would ruin dinner.”

“Tommy, we’re grown ass adults. We’re allowed to have dessert before dinner.”

“You’re really eating it now?”

“Yes!” She crossed her arms, “I didn’t walk all this way for nothing.”

She ended up asking for two instead of just one, pilfering a pair of bamboo forks from the dispenser on the counter top before going to the register.

“Just these,” she put both of the plastic containers on the counter, “oh, and can I also get a pack of orange American Spirits?”

“Yep, can I see your ID?” The girl working the register, someone she recognized from school, a friend would be a stretch to say, grabbed the pack anyway, setting them on the counter.

She turned to Tommy, hand out, “Can I have my phone?”

She pried the back of the phone case off, before handing over her drivers license and debit card.

“Oh! Quinn, that is you!”

She smiled sheepishly, tucking the cards back inside her phone case, “In the flesh.”

The rest of the transaction was fairly silent and awkward, “Well, it was good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too.” Quinn agreed, gathering up the loot before they departed silently.

“Who was she?”

“Oh, we went to school together.” She dug in the bag, pulling out the container before deciding better of eating when walking down the steep hill and returning it to the bag.

“And she didn’t recognize you?”

“We weren’t friends. We just knew of eachother.”

There was silence most of the walk back to the downtown area. Different thoughts flitted through her head.

She had done so much to distance herself and become someone new, more herself, why was she so offended that she was apparently unrecognizable now that she had returned? She had gained some weight, sure, but everyone did, didn't they? Twenty some pounds from 19 to 27 couldn’t be that bad.

Tommy could tell something about the interaction had obliterated the good mood she had been in. She walked silently next to him, the only noise reminding him of her presence was the click of her shoes on the concrete.

“When we get back I want to go upstairs and go to the bathroom and put this stuff in the little fridge.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

People bustled in and out of the front door, the lobby buzzing with conversation as Quinn cut through to the elevator and waited patiently, rocking back and forth from heel to toe while they waited.

“What time is it now?”

“Four forty five.”

“Oh good, we managed to kill a solid hour.”

The elevator dinged and Quinn welcomed the silence the closing door brought along with it. The walk to their room luckily wasn’t long, and people were all up and down the hallway in various states of checking in.

She closed the door a little harsher than needed, toeing off the shoes and setting the bag on top of the dresser while Tommy crossed to open the small balcony.

“There’s no smoking in the room.”

Quinn flopped down on one of the made beds, feet tucked under her as she took a bite of the cheesecake.

“I’m not in the room.” Tommy prodded, back pressed against the metal rail as he lit one of her cigarettes.

“Hmm,” part of the sound that escaped her was definitely a moan that she didn’t feel bad about, “yep, that was well worth walking 40 minutes for.”

She took a few more bites, cramming the entire bag in to the mini fridge, before she fell back on to the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“You'll mess your hair up, love.”

She shrugged, and the linen crinkled under her shoulders as she did.

“It’s fine. They already think we’re up here having a quickie, I’m sure,” she propped herself up on her elbows, to find he was standing in the other direction, elbows braced on the balcony as he looked out over the buildings.

“Your family seems overly concerned about your sex life.”

“Apparently enjoying sex is embarrassing to a group of women who think of it as a chore,” she snorted, joining him in place and position as he handed her the pack of cigarettes, “sorry, that was probably way too much information. I was the last one in the house and turned into my mother’s therapist somehow, so I know exactly how much she thinks of it as a chore.”

“That’s terrible.”

She laughed, “That I know or that people think of it that way?”

She tried her best to divert the conversation from any way focusing on her parents sex life in particular. It grossed her out just thinking about it.

“Both,” she could see him look at her out of the corner of her eye, a long look that drank in every bit of her, “there’s no reason to deny yourself something that brings you pleasure, eh?”

She choked as she took another drag off the cigarette, turning away to cough until she could catch her breath before she stubbed the barely touched cigarette out on the balcony.

“Just give me a minute, then we can go.” She explained, ducking into the bathroom and flicking the lock shut before she lent against the wall, taking a shuddering breath.

Quinn turned on the faucet, letting the water run while she bunched up her dress to use the toilet.

Ever since he had kissed her the other night she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Fuck. If there was ever a more obvious moment you just fucking blew it, Quinn.

She washed her hands, giving her teeth a quick brush before returning back to the other part of the room, happily slipping her shoes back on to avoid the scratchy carpet.

“Okay, let’s get this over with.”

“Please tell me there’s an open bar.” Quinn whispered as they returned back downstairs to the decorated ballroom.

“Are you—“

“No, but my family is hilarious when they’re drunk and if I don't have something that resembles alcohol they’ll think somethings wrong with me. If I do, well, that’s two years down the drain and then I’ll be a certifiable shit show, so if I don’t make it to the bar and say I want a vodka soda just get me a soda water with some lime. It’ll be disgusting, but, I’ll live.”

Quinn’s brow furrowed at the ornately written seating chart. She knew they’d be sitting at a table with the rest of her family, but she had secretly hoped she would be exiled to the table with a few of her fun cousins instead.

The night seemed to drag on. Cocktail hour surely shouldn’t have taken this long, but maybe it was going by quicker for the few of them who were on their way to being drunk.

“Oh good, at least the rolls are good,” Quinn tore into it, as her sister chuckled.

“Well, that’s why you carry your weight in your hips, it’s the carbs.”

She swallowed thickly, not seeing Tommy watch her out of the corner of his eye as she sat the roll on the side of the plate and picked through the salad.

“That wasn’t necessary,” he said quietly enough so only Monica and Quinn heard, but it was enough to ignite a fire.

Monica was always ready for an argument.

“Excuse me?”

He cleared his throat, setting down the silverware, tongue tracing the inside of teeth slightly tainted with nicotine.

Quinn watched as he turned his head like a cobra getting ready to strike, eyes glancing up to choose words carefully before speaking, “if you have your own insecurities, you don’t need to take them out on—“

“All I mean is, if you would have met her before, when she was working at the bar, she was going to the gym five days a week and wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t a salad.”

“Well, I’m not really sure this is the time or place—“

“Don’t waste your breath, Tommy.” Quinn shook her head, giving his arm a firm pat, “Will you get me a drink?”

“Yes.” He sighed, smoothing a stray piece of hair before planting a kiss to her temple as he stood, “What would you like, love?”

“Just a vodka soda.” She smiled at the rehearsed words, the gesture of touch sent her stomach fluttering.

He nodded, smoothing his hand along her shoulders, already being able to see the toll the conversation was taking on her mentally.

Monica had her lips pursed as he walked away from the table. “So, I know mom won’t ask but I’m sure she’s dying to know, how old is he?”

Quinn hated that she was the baby of the family. Not that there was a huge age difference because all of her and her sisters had been born in rapid succession over 6 years, with a set of twins and a different set of Irish twins born smack dab in the middle of them all, which made Tommy still older than her oldest sister, “Thirty-two.”

“Oh. Wow. Is it money, or what? It’s money, isn’t it. Not that he’s bad looking…” She could have swatted her sister as she tracked Tommy through the crowd over her shoulder.

Quinn shook her head, “No, I’m not for want,” she tried to find some true words to say about the situation, “we just hit it off when we met, and here we are. Besides, I think everyone forgets that dad is six years older than mom. Tommy won’t be thirty-three until December.”

Not the entire truth, not a lie either.

He returned after a strangely long period of time with said soda water and a whiskey for himself, and Quinn was surprised when Monica decided to be rather amicable in her line of questioning.

“So, Tommy, I don’t know if I’ve missed it or if no one has asked, but what is it you do?”

He gave a small smile as the plates were cleared, “My family owns several different businesses in different sectors: Construction. A few restaurants. Two bars. Storage units and skip rental are surprisingly profitable with little to no overhead, respectively. The largest deals with cargo, overseas shipping and logistics, as well as FTL and LTL freight.”

Quinn watched her sister’s eyes grow wider as he continued to talk, trying not to laugh at her for previously mistaking him for some kind of idiot, “Two years ago we purchased USF Holland, however they only have stations in the Midwest. Recently, we bought out Old Dominion Freight Lines. Before the acquisition they had stations all across the United States from Mexico to Canada. It seemed to be the next logical step, why worry about the competition?”

Monica only nodded.

He continued, and Quinn realized that he was truly trying to rub it in as best as he could for the attitude she had just tried to pull with him, his hand returning to the spot on Quinn’s knee as he spoke, “I figured the timing was good, with coming here, I might as well drop by the main office in Holland on Monday and pay them a visit.”

“You should talk to our dad and see if he can get you in contact with the shipping manager at his work, they’ve—“

“Monnie,” Quinn quirked a brow, but her sister didn’t relent in dispersing information that, given the situation, should have been coming from Quinn. Tommy gave her knee a gentle squeeze, but all it really accomplished was causing her to feel even more flustered than she already was.

“They,” she continued, again, as if trying to be the one with the upper hand, interrupting her sister, as she turned her attention back to Tommy, “have been having issues with the logistics company they contract through, they’ve been short on drivers, and sometimes they just don’t show up.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Was she under the impression that, despite them staying with Quinn’s parents the whole time, that they hadn’t spoken?

Quinn, for what felt like the first time that night, let her eyes scan the room, full with people, some she knew, family and close family friends, and most she didn’t.

“Well,” she smiled, before the sigh she was holding back escaped her, respite music playing in the background as tables continued to be cleared silently by well dressed wait staff, “we should go socialize.”

Tommy nodded once in agreement. She noted the unfinished glass he left on the table as they stood, his hand finding the small of her back although she led the way.

“I think it’s a shame that even the better bar package considers a good whiskey to be Jack Daniels; the Vodka is Tito’s and the Gin is Bombay, but then they use Jack.” She shook her head, gesturing with her hand as she spoke, as if putting each one on display in her head.

She saw him give a half smile out of the corner of her eye, “I’ll live, eh?”

“I suppose so.”

By the time they worked their way through their fair share of people, repeating the same made up story over and over that they had made sure was airtight, Tommy could sense Quinn’s agitation as they got stuck talking to her uncle, a white haired man she introduced as Frank, who seemed unrelenting in his questioning as to why Quinn hadn’t continued working at the MoMA.

“Uncle Frank, trust me,” she shifted her weight, slipping her foot in and out of the shoe, as she surveyed the room, “the benefits package was mediocre at best, the hours they wanted me to work were terrible, and I make more now then I would have ever dreamed of working my way up to there.”

“Quinn, the MoMA is a well known and respected place—“

“And with all due respect, I feel I’m doing better for myself now that I ever would have if I stayed there.”

Her words seemed to silence him and it seemed like the perfect time to offer the only reasonable escape he could think of as the music switched.

The quiet drumming preceded words, bringing along with it a memory of a dreary day spent trapped in the little council house on Watery Lane as Polly, Ada, and their Anna adamantly decorated for Christmas, the small selection of decor having come from the charity shop.

Tommy only knew because he had been the oldest one home. Polly never would have let the kids know that, always doing her best to not make them feel like they were poor, that they were less than.

Fly me to the moon

Let me play among the stars…

“C’mon,” bare knuckles drug along her spine brought Quinn back to reality from the tirade she could have went on, he mind drifting to her fathers reminder about liquidating and purchasing something worthwhile, “let’s dance.”

Her eyes widened as she registered the words, a deep breath settling the churning of her stomach, knowing she didn’t have a way out of it.

“Okay.” A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth as she nodded.

Her mother was going to shit a brick. No one ever got her to dance. Not at the last 5 weddings she’d had to attend.

Of course, Emily had decided to go overkill with the whole thing and they had a live band.

In other words

Hold my hand…

“I told you I’m not good at this,” she whispered, one of her hands taken with his while the other came to rest on his shoulder.

“There’s nothing to be bad at, love,” he had to resist each time it crossed his mind reaching down and grabbing her ass, resist pulling her any closer than she already was as his fingers pressed into the bare skin of her lower back, the action itself sending a shiver along her skin and straight into her gut, “I lead and you follow.”

She did as he suggested. “My Opa taught me to dance to Sinatra in his living room when I was a kid.”

“Your mom told me.”

She shook her head, a small roll of her eyes at the open endedness of his statement, but he could tell from the smile playing at the corner of her lips that she wasn’t too angry about it.

The silence between the two of them was welcome after the constant conversation from the rest of the night.

“Smoke?” She questioned as the song quit, itching to get a breath of fresh air.

The irony.

For a second, he met eyes with Gerard across the room, trying to imagine if there was a hole nearby he could dig deep enough to bury him in.

The river down the road was running a close second for a good spot for him.

Tommy didn’t like the look of him, and that was putting it simply. The way he watched them across the room like a predator tracking it’s prey put him on edge.

“Come on, Quinn. I just got you out here.”

“One. One more. Then I’m done.”

Her heels clicked across the marble floor of the entryway before they exited into the crisp night air, traffic filled the road and people mingled on the sidewalk.

Some of the passerby’s she recognized and some she didn’t.

“Here.” he shrugged off the suit jacket before draping it over her shoulders, her painted nails fishing inside the breast pocket until she pulled out the pack of cigarettes she had made him carry for her earlier.

She offered the pack, handing it off to him before cramming her arms through the jacket sleeves with a chuckle, reveling in the warmth held in the fabric.

“Thanks.”

Tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear, she blocked the wind as Tommy lit the cigarette for her.

“You’re a fine dancer.”

“Only fine?” She laughed from the spot she had taken up, leaning against the brick of the building.

He hummed, the cigarette dangling between his lips as his eyes scanned her face before he offered her a hand.

“No music,” she commented, taking the cigarette with her left hand as she placed her now free hand in his.

“You just have to imagine it,” he smiled, the sarcasm of his comment making Quinn shake her head.

She followed as he led, before breaking down into a fit of giggles, head thrown back before she spoke, “I’m sorry, we probably just look like two idiots out here.”

“Fuck ‘em,” he quipped, enjoying the sound of her laugh as he exhaled the cloud of smoke, taking wide steps, turning them in a quick circle as she relaxed against him.

“Okay, okay, no more spins or I’m going to hurl.”

Burying herself against his chest, fitting herself under his chin just so, she relaxed for what felt like the first time all day.

Smoke rolled from between her fingers before she took another drag of the cigarette.

“We’ve almost survived it,” she whispered, a contented sigh escaping her.

Tommy chucked the cigarette butt on the ground before extinguishing it with the sole of his shoe as Quinn shivered.

“We can go back in,” he offered, breath warm against her ear as he spoke, “no reason to freeze out here.”

Quinn nodded, shrugging out of the jacket as they walked back through the doors. Tommy draped it over his arm, letting her pull him along once she laced their fingers together.

“I don’t think this is the way,” Tommy objected.

Quinn hummed, not saying anything, until she found one of the cream white doors without a room number, instead a plaque reading staff was affixed to the door.

She opened the door, leaning inside to make sure it was unoccupied, before pulling Tommy in behind her and closing the door, leaving them in total darkness.

He knew at the beginning of the night that slit in her dress would be the death of him. Her lips were soft and her fingers were in his hair so fast, long nails gently raking through the shortest part of his hair, light enough to not leave a mark.

“Quinn,” her own name was warm against her skin as his lips moved along the column of her throat to her collar bone, hands firmly grasping her hips as she moved to wrap one leg around his waist.

“We’re not doing this in a fucking linen closet, yeah?” Even though he phrased it as a question, she knew it wasn’t. She could feel the wire racking pushed in to her back as she moved, trying to find some sort of friction to satiate the need that radiated from deep in her stomach.

His fingers gently brushed along the leg that was around his waist, a groan passing between her lips as Tommy recaptured them once again, and the fabric of the skirt of the dress falling to the side as he did so.

She was thankful for the dark hiding the flush of her neck and face, feeling the heat creeping through her body, as the hand that was wandering seemed to finally reach its destination, grabbing her ass rather roughly as her stomach trembled, the pads of his fingers massaging gently at her hip.

“You've been walking around all night with no panties on, haven’t you?”

She shrugged, a grin softly gracing her lips as she bit her bottom lip, “The back of the dress was cut too low and I didn’t feel like buying anything once I realized.”

Tommy caught the mischievous glint in her eye as she gently relocated his hand between her thighs.

With her vision adjusted she could see his eyes roll in their sockets as his head fell back, a quiet “fuck” passing between his lips.

The tiniest set of metal beads was the first thing he felt, warm from the heat that radiated from her skin, taking a second to think.

No, that’s new.

“C’mon, then,” Tommy had her over his shoulder and out the door before she had a chance to protest.

“Thomas Michael! Put me down!” From the squeal and laugh she let out as she settled over his shoulder, he could tell she wasn’t upset about it.

Smoothing the fabric of her dress so it covered her, he was dead set on avoiding her request. She was short and light enough to carry. Maybe once they got to the elevator—

“Hey!” Music could still be heard coming from the ballroom but Erica was louder, hands cupped to magnify her voice, short blonde curls bouncing, as she struggled to hold her beer and get their attention at the same time.

Quinn smiled as she looked up, throwing the loose pieces of hair out of her face, to see her sister waving them down, “Come catch these flowers you little fucking nympho! Then you can go upstairs and keep fucking!”

Tommy thought there weren’t too many things that would make him turn red, but they almost talked as terribly as John and Arthur.

“Want down?” She had her elbows resting in the middle of his shoulders, bare feet outstretched to keep her balance while Tommy carried her shoes, and his jacket, turning to walk in the direction that her sister yelled from.

“Nah,” she shrugged, “not yet.”

The music had switched, bass thudding, Quinn hadn’t heard the words until they got closer. The band had packed up and there was music being played by a DJ now that the older members of their family had retired to their rooms.

“Okay, okay,” she drummed her hands between his shoulder blades, “put me down!”

Before he could say anything she took off running, handfuls of her dress pulled tight to not trip, and Tommy settled for standing in the doorway holding her shoes. She either knew the song or the younger girl that she spun in a circle, laughing between the two of them as she did so.

There was talking over a microphone, but in truth, Tommy, between watching Quinn and the rest of the excitement, didn’t tune into exactly what was being said, or much of his surroundings except some loud whistles and prodding from one of her sisters, until she was about a foot away from him.

“Okay, let’s go.” Quinn beamed, skin flushed, before rounding the corner into the hall, twirling the bouquet between her fingers and wrapping her arm around his waist.

“What are those?” He asked, nodding to the flowers as she swung them back and forth as they waited for the elevator.

Quinn smiled, fingers finding the back of her neck awkwardly as the bell dinged, “Uh, if you catch the bouquet, supposedly, you're the next one getting married, but I think I’ve always been the one to catch it so clearly that doesn’t work.”

He wondered for a moment if anyone would notice the elevator being out of service, but by the time the thought fully formed, the doors were already opening to their floor.

Quinn knew they had purposely put them at the end of the hall, no one across from them or next to them for their own fucked up form of privacy so no one would be banging on the wall to get them to be quiet.

Once the door shut behind them Quinn’s fingers wrapped into the lapels of his jacket, back pressed against the door before she had time to think.

A small moan escaped her as his mouth found its way back to the column of her throat. She once again smelled like the orange blossom and vanilla with something floral, warm and unidentifiable, in the mix.

“Wait,” the word came out breathlessly as Tommy pulled back to look at her, icy eyes alight with some kind of fire as he searched her face for the reason for her protest.

Quinn continued to thread her fingers slowly though the longest part of his hair, a small smile playing at the corners of her darkened lips, “Do you have a condom?”

“No,” Tommy smiled, tongue ghosting across his lower lip as his hands continued to knead at the exposed flesh of her lower back, foreheads pressed together, “didn’t anticipate it going like this.”

Quinn smiled, a real one until her cheeks hurt, biting her tongue for a moment as she loosened his tie, fingers ghosting over the shirt buttons, “So, you went to all this trouble, what, just because?”

“Mhmm.” He admitted, thumb gently stroking along her cheek as he spoke, “Because you asked.”

Quinn ran her tongue along the inside of her lip fiddling with the gold post as she thought, heart hammering in her chest.

“Do you have…” she looked away, eyes shifting, as she tried to find the politest way to word her question, “anything?”

The way her nose scrunched gave Tommy enough context to figure out what she was asking.

He blinked, slowly, hands roaming her hips as she pulled herself away from the door, forcing his feet to move backwards as she did.

“The whole truth?”

“I do know where you live,” she quipped, “I’ll hunt you down if you make me.”

“Chlamydia. Once. About 15 years ago.” He paused, reaching for the tie on her dress that he fixed hours ago, knowing it was knotted just right that it would be undone in one fell swoop, “You?”

“No,” she shook her head, pulling the knot of his tie until it was loose fabric in her hands, “nothing, never.”

The fabric slid from her shoulders easily with his light guidance, pooling around her waist. She stepped out of it, thankful her shoes were already gone or she would have felt rather foolish.

“Did it hurt?” He questioned, the glint of the metal catching the small amount of light in the room as she worked through the last of the buttons on the dress shirt, sat on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah,” she chuckled, hesitating for a moment with fingers tucked into the waist of his pants, “they put a needle through one of the most sensitive parts of my body. Of course it hurt. But the way it feels now made it well fucking worth it.”

She smiled as she watched his eyes flare up, pupils dilating with arousal as she continued on with declothing him, fingers gently moving as she cupped the bulge in his trousers.

She felt so stupid, the word nervous was an understatement. Fully fucking naked and still trying to get him undressed.

It’s like riding a bike, Quinn. You can do this.

Apparently he wasn’t too unperturbed by her lack of hurry, grip firm but gentle all at once on the back of her neck to bring her closer once again, bending to close the space so their lips could meet.

He undid the belt, between her nails and being flustered it had been giving her the most issues, pulling off the top layers and tossing them aside as she finally managed to free his aching cock from his slacks and boxers in one pull, springing back against his stomach once freed, not taking the time to push the rest of the garments down his legs before wrapping a hand gently around him.

“You don’t have to.”

Quinn leaned into the feeling of his hand on her throat, a smile played at the corner of her lips before she took him in her mouth.

“Hmm,” she let her tongue circle the head, purple and filled with blood, before working him down into her throat.

“Fuck,” Quinn heard his whisper as his fingers worked into the hair at the nape of her neck.

She moaned with her mouth full of him, slowly pushing him to and from the back of her throat, dragging her nails down his thigh, her other hand stroking at the the parts of him that wouldn’t fit in her mouth, brushing against the shortly trimmed dark hair, as he reached to palm her breast, the only part of her, Tommy was surprised to see, that still was unmarked by any permanent markings.

She sighed as she came up for air, thumb rubbing over his tip to play with the drop of precum that glistened in the low light. She swiped away the string of saliva that strung between them, a small yelp escaping when he lay her back on the bed with a gentle push, as he discarded the final pieces of clothing in the pile with the rest.

Quinn situated herself on the pillows, as she pulled out hairpins and ties and tossed them haphazardly on the floor as Tommy’s hand found her hip, his other hand rested against the shell of her ear, as he turned her to look up at him.

She placed her hand on his chest, looking up at him through her lashes, trying to read his expression, as Tommy kissed from her temple to her jaw, gently sucking at the spot behind her ear, a shiver running through her.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” she kept her eyes closed as he whispered the words in her ear, resisting shaking her head at the compliment.

She chuckled as a smile pulled at her mouth, turning him so she could deepen an actual kiss as the hand that wasn’t supporting his weight slipped between her parted thighs.

“Fuck,” she sighed, surprised by the gasp that left her own mouth as he slipped two fingers in her, to gather the wet that had accumulated and slowly circled the sensitive, waiting, bundle of nerves.

That alone had her ready to explode. Quinn tried to focus on anything but how blissed out she already felt, how cool the sheets felt, how dry her mouth was, anything, the fan of the air conditioner running almost had her distracted, but eventually she came back to the heat of every spot where his body touched hers, which was exactly the opposite of a distraction that would keep her from being finished in however many seconds it had been of him touching her.

His mouth had worked over her neck and collar bone, her back arching as Tommy pulled a swollen nipple between his lips, his fingers slipping back inside her, this time the pressure filled her completely before he stopped.

“What?” Quinn asked, breathless, as she opened her eyes fully, the reality of the situation hitting her like a ton of bricks, that they were actually doing this, and she noted the way his movement stalled as his brows drew together in confusion.

“What is that?” He moved his fingers, pushing on the clear jelly band situated inside her.

“Oh, shit. That’s my birth control…thing. It just stays in there. Don’t pull it out.”

“Will it get stuck?”

She rolled her eyes slowly as she thought, not wanting to admit that she hadn’t actually had sex in the last two years since switching to it from the pill.

I’ve never had a dildo pull it out but none of them are that big either.

“Not sure. Guess we’ll find out.”

Her breath quickened the lower his mouth traveled along her body, kissing and nipping and sucking at the skin as he did, before the warm heat of his mouth enveloped her clit.

Quinn, in the midst of struggling to put together a coherent string of words through the noises that left her mouth, let alone a thought, realized there was something daunting but also gratifying about seeing him nestled between her thighs, the work of her own hands emblazoned on his back fully on display.

“Fuck, Tommy,” her mouth was slack, brows pulled together in what he could only assume was excitement, when he finally let their eyes meet, giving her thigh a firm squeeze as her nimble fingers wrapped into his hair once again, tight, pulling, almost guiding him, the pitch of her voice higher than he was used to, “fuck, yes, right there.”

Through the cloudiness in her brain she realized it was the sinfully wet sounds each time his fingers filled her that was going to be the final thing to push her over the edge.

“Please,” she begged, hips lifting to try and gain more friction before being halted by Tommy’s free hand on her hip holding her tight.

“Please, what, love?” He drawled, lips traveling the inside of her thigh while waiting for an answer, all motion halted with two fingers still buried in her sopping cunt.

Her head was buried back in the pillows, adorned skin glowing on white sheets, pink nipples standing at attention from her own assault of them.

“You look like,” the words were a whisper, the hoarseness of his voice a contrast to gentle kisses pressed along her stomach. Quinn, for a second, thought about pushing him away as a sudden shyness came over her, “a fucking Corradini sculpture.”

Her laugh was caught in her throat with the angle she was laying. “There’s nothing close to fucking modest about this.”

In truth, she didn’t care. The sensation of being touched by another person was almost too much.

She rolled her hips enough to make the fullness from his fingers reach back and graze the white hot nub deep inside her.

“I think…” she choked out the words as his rhythm picked up, “you forgot what you were doing.”

He felt her tense as her toes curled, foot pressed into his back, her moans and breathless pants spurring him on further as he looked to see her eyes were screwed shut, back arched off of the bed and fingers tight in his hair as he continued to circle the tight bundle of nerves with his tongue, making sure to pay special attention to the metal ends of the bar each time he encountered them.

It didn’t take much longer before she came undone around his fingers, grasping at the blanket as she rocked her hips, silent swears and sweet moans passed breathlessly between her lips.

Quinn let out a shuddering breath as he left her empty, her own wet coating her thighs as her heavy lidded eyes met his and she broke out in a grin.

She tried to control the tremble in her hand as she cupped his jaw, pulling him close enough to taste herself.

She huffed as he broke away.

“Are you sure?”

“About?” Her brows drew together as she questioned him, the watering of her eyes leaving her makeup running a tad.

Tommy decided she looked good being a flustered mess.

“Not using anything. I can—“

“Ninety-four percent. That’s the efficacy percentage of my birth control. So, I’m that sure.”

Tommy swallowed, he had gambled with worse odds, but he knew the consequence of that last six percent all too well. He had a suspicion that there would be no pulling out once he felt her heat around him.

She sensed the hesitation, “So that’s a yes. Yes I’m sure, Tommy.”

He flipped them over, and Quinn let out a playful shriek as he pulled her astride his lap, slipping her free hand between them to line him up with her entrance, unsteady legs relaxing to let him inside her.

“Fuck, stop, hold on,” she steadied herself with a firm grip on his shoulder as she reached to unstick the part of herself that was folded up in, “sorry, stuck.”

“No sorries, eh?” His hands roamed her skin, fingertips resting in the dimples on her back , “Just tell me what you need, darling.”

Quinn felt her stomach flip, his gentle reassurance catching her off guard, but the only response she could muster was a quick nod as her fingers worked her way back into his hair, mouth falling open as he thrusted up in to her.

“Fuck, Tommy,” he tried to hold back, letting her set the pace as she took back control of the situation, shadows and pale skin dancing together in the moonlight thay crept through the crack in the curtains.

She rested her cheek on top of his head, a series of quiet moans falling into his ear as his hands found her hips, helping her, holding her, guiding her as she worked herself on and off of him.

The visual alone as Tommy watched himself disappear inside of her, what he could see through the small gap that her breasts allowed, the way her body moved, stomach trembling as she took his length fully was enough to send him over the edge, but the sensation of of her plush heat growing tight around him was making it difficult to keep his composure, difficult to not throw her down and fuck her senseless.

“Yes, Tommy, fuck. Right there, yes, yes, yes. Shit.” The change in her voice between each of the words caught him off guard, but he could tell from how incoherent everything was becoming that she was close.

“Fuck,” Tommy spoke the words gently against her skin, “so fucking wet, Quinn. Feels so fucking good.”

“Shit,” Quinn swallowed hard as she buried her face in his neck, “Fuck, yes, don’t fucking…” she sighed as she tried to talk, the words intermixed with moans and gasps as she tilted her hips, the change in angle being just enough for him to hit the white hot spot inside her, making her gasp, the combination of her clit being stimulated as she filled herself with him over and over was making it hard for her to keep a grip on reality.

“Don’t, fuck, don’t stop talking; tell me what you want.” She finally choked out what she had been trying to say for what felt like forever, hips aching as she could almost taste how close she was to finishing, while at the same time trying to push the feeling away for as long as possible, to enjoy it as long as she could.

“I want you to stop fighting it,” Tommy whispered, hand finding the back of her neck, fingers in her hair, turning her so she had to look at him, “I want to feel you.”

Quinn had tried to tell herself that she was not going to allow herself to kiss him when she finished. Something about it was too personal (as if him being buried deep inside of her wasn’t), but she gave in when the moment happened, everything inside her giving up, burning every ounce of resolve she had built up to the ground.

She felt clumsy about it as she did, unsteady as their lips met, the hold he had on her hair tightened and she was surprised when she felt the pressure of him swelling before he spilled inside her, because if she hadn’t had finished already that alone would have ended her.

“Can you get me a towel?” She was trying to not laugh at the predicament they were in. There was going to be a mess regardless.

But he returned quicker than she expected, and she crammed the white towel between her legs quickly, trying to make her aching legs transport her somewhat elegantly to the bathroom.

She washed up as best as she could without getting in the shower, and debated taking one of the robes off the door, but she made a dash for the covers instead, surprised when Tommy adjusted to let her curl against his chest, warm from the cold air outside the blankets.

Quinn hummed contentedly as she continued to thread her fingers through the hair on his chest, the action alone being enough to start to rile her back up as she squirmed closer, the smile on her face buried against his chest as she basked in the weightless feeling running through her body.

“So…” she shifted under the blanket, pushing herself up on her elbows so she could see his face, pale freckles and dark lashes, as his eyes shifted to meet hers, “again?”

She couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled her back down against him, arms around her tight, “Gimme a bit, Quinn. I’m not young anymore, eh?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Yay! I assume I’ll have a fair amount of hollering once y’all read this, but let me know good or bad what you think!

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minetteskvareninova · 9 months

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Oo what's the drama with Colin Falconer

I only ever read one book of his, but God was that more than enough. It was about Hürrem sultan... Well, mostly, there's this subplot about this chick named Giulia and guy named Abbas, anyway hon if you ever had trouble with low blood pressure, 10/10 would recommend, otherwise it's not a book for you, in fact I cannot imagine a book less for you if I made it up Goncharov-style. It's basically like Magnificent Century, if it was very much written by a western author and A BILLION TIMES WORSE

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century was a little unfair to Hürrem? In Harem, she's the most evil harlot to have ever been spat onto the face of the Earth by the hell itself. Seriously. Think of any redeeming quality she could have, quick. This Hürrem very pointedly and explicitly does not have it. Her love for Süleyman? Hah! She's been pretending this whole time to make Süleyman her slave! Love for her children? Nope nopity nope! This Hürrem actually lies to Süleyman at her deathbed that Bayezit may not be his son, just so he would kill him, because she wants Selim to take over. Not because she prefers Selim, but because she knows he would be a terrible sultan and destroy the empire she hates so much. Oh, so she's a broken, traumatized kidnapping victim lashing out against her oppressors? Well, I guess, but Falconer downplays this aspect of her character as much as possible, basically only mentioning her feeling "trapped" at the start of the book, just making her seem angry and not at all like she's, you know. Traumatized. So she at least has some empathy towards her fellow slaves? Or anyone else in the entire world??? No! This Hürrem is an absolute evil incarnate, like she does not do a single good thing for anyone else ever, even by accident.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century didn't quite do the justice to Süleyman the Magnificent? In Harem, he's but a pawn in the hands of eeevil Hürrem, who catches every bait, is fooled by every trick and unwittingly helps her fulfill every evil plan of hers. To Falconer's miniscule credit, he does make an effort to kinda, sorta make reader see what Süleyman sees in Hürrem, and at times he's almost an interesting character, but one of the greatest statesmen of the Ottoman history he is not.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century can be a little bleak? Well, In Harem, Colin Falconer has made it his life's mission to prove that he's the edgiest little edgelord, to only be beaten by Tara Gillespie. This book is an excellent example of wannabe gritty realism that ends up saying nothing about real world and not feeling real for a fucking second. Like, just focusing on the harem itself, the life there is presented as miserable, which, fine, we are trying to sympathize with these women... I would say if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that Falconer lowkey hates, or at least does not particullarly care for the other gender. So what you end up with is an endless parade of suffering women that the narrative doesn't give any dignity, agency or empathy. The only exception is Giulia, whose life of repression and meagre attempts at reclaiming agency would be kinda interesting, if they went literally anywhere, but they don't, because Falconer kinda hates women, but readers even moreso. And don't get me started on the sexualization, because if Minette says you enjoy describing the titties too much you, you definitely enjoy describing the titties too much. Which together with the endless abuse of women just makes this book feel all the more gross.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century has a problem with not being critical enough of the empire? Well, Harem tries that, but then Hürrem is presented as irredeemably evil for trying to ruin the empire and tricking Süleyman into fighting less, which she does not do out of political consideration, even though her arguments make sense and it's probably what IRL Süleyman realized on his own, also saint Mustafa is still there and still as much of a brave soldier destroyed by the evil Hürrem as ever... Basically any effort at critique is demolished as thoroughly as possible by the sheer force of author's hatred for Hürrem.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century has unfortunately left out or underserved some interesting female personalities of the era, like Süleyman's granddaughters or the female buddies of Selim II.? In Harem, Ayşe Hafsa is... Well, there for a portion of the book, basically twiddling her thumbs, which is nice, because at least they can't ruin her. Mahidevran is yet another female victim without agency, just a bit more prominent than the others. Mihrimah is there for one scene, just to establish she hates her husband, have her exposited on by Rüstem and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE. Yeah. Like, fuck, this book almost makes me want to appologize to the Magnificent Century Mihrimah, she's a pretty unlikeable character, but at least she is a character. And Nurbanu? Nurbanu who? We don't know 'dem, and we certainly don't have 'dem over here!

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century was unfair to Selim II.? In Harem, he's a monstrous child rapist in addition to a drunken glutton. Also, no Nurbanu, because fuck you, reader, at this point of the book you really shouldn't have expected anything.

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century plays fast and loose with history? Harem can't even get the order of Hürrem's children right. Seriously. For example, Selim is the firstborn in this. Because why pass an opportunity to be pointlessly stupid?

Have you ever thought Magnificent Century is a bit lacking when it comes to medical knowledge? In Harem, an important plot point, by which I mean Selim's conception, hinges on a castrated man conceiving two children with two different women. Like a character in the book explicitly notes that unlike harem eunuchs, guards don't have the entire package chopped off, only balls WELL WHERE DO YOU THINK GAMETES COME FROM, AND YES THEY CAN SOMETIMES STILL HAVE SEX, EVER HEARD OF SHOOTING BLANKS YOU FUCKING GENIUS???

And just in case the things weren't bad enough, there's one final fuck you on the road with the epilogue, which mightily strives to be the stupidest fucking thing I've ever read - for me, a veteran of braindead straight women-oriented porn. Because no BDSM loving billionaire with a sixpack and big schlong can ever top this.

Basically, Falconer is trying to make his wildly historically inaccurate book seem like it's remotely plausible, which, cute, not the first time I've seen a historical novel do that. But at least they weren't trying to justify a man without testicles siring a child... And they didn't do it by claiming that every sultan before Süleyman was this mighty steppe warrior and statesman (after he portrayed Süleyman himself as a dupe completely ensnared by one woman's wicked wiles, again, adorable) and every sultan after him was this lazy, decadent tyrant, often also crazy (because sure, Mahmut II. isn't even in this book, but why the fuck not insult also him for good measure?!), so his argument is that "the line must've been broken". Because the great Süleyman the Magnificent (who again I cannot stress enough how not Magnificent he is in this book) couldn't have possibly sired a failson, his mighty sperm isn't capable of such a feat, it must've been someone else, like A FUCKING EUNUCH.

Now if you excuse me, I've gotten the long-requested review of this heinous book out of my system, please let me either drink myself to death, or detox by watching Good Omens, whichever comes more easily. Thank you and good night.

#magnificent century #hürrem sultan #random history #minette complains #colin falconer

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snifflesthemouse · 1 year

Text

This IS A LONG LONG POST

It’s Odd… one minute we have stories about HRH The Princess of Wales having issues with the King and Queen (i.e. “upstaging” the King and Queen at the Chelsea Flower Show with a “Surprise” visit). Let this author stress something…

When I see a con trick, I see a con trick. It doesn’t matter if the con is being used for good or bad… the tactics of manipulation are the same regardless of the motive. It doesn’t matter how noble your cause may be, if you are manipulating people (using [insert emotion] to gain) then you’re conning people.

Some people are uncomfortable with the idea that some of the best b.s. talking cons are actually beloved figures. People are also uncomfortable with the fact that BOTH CHARLES AND DIANA ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HARRY. BUT ULTIMATELY, HARRY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HARRY.

So remember the conning trick I mentioned about “surprise” and “secret”? If not, go back to long ago and re-read. Just kidding, I will remind you. This mouse reminds the lovely readers with pleasure!

This author said that “surprise” anything never happens in the BRF. If that were true EVERY TIME MM said she was making a “SURPRISE VISIT” then it is also true for CATHERINE. That was a strategic move, and we see evidence in what is happening now.

What is all abuzz right now? Lady C, who someone in a higher part of the food chain than this lowly writer (a very well connected source, hello, source, I Hope you read this!) has reported to me has been suggested to support pushing a certain echo chamber for BP, (I can see how it is feasible that Lady C is well connected, but so unconnected she is protected connected. Which explains all the predictions she “made” in the book being somewhat directed). Point is, if Lady C is echoing the whispers being whispered in palace walls… Harry was the one who called divorce attorneys MONTHS AGO.

Remember when this author said what could be so valuable that Meghan would sit out the coronation, yet show up in a pap shot not with her son on his birthday but her friend Marcus Anderson, her known match-maker? It would seem like those MA MM jogging shots were sending the message that she is moving on. Then, she announces she is signed with a new agency… Then we have Harry rushing in and out to look like the doting father re the Coronation.

Then the façade of BP starts to crack. Catherine and Wills didn’t bow to Camilla. Camilla and Charles are mad at Catherine for upstaging them. ALL press pieces, not blind items. It would be smart for BP to fake its own proxy war in order to gain control of a new era and new narrative. They all know that drama is part of the survival. But mainly, it is clear Harry’s self-worth issues also stem from Charles, too.

After all, Diana DID die when he was younger. So Harry is moreso Charles relative than knowing of his mother relative like William. In other words, because Wills had more time with his mom, he has more of her personality imprints on him than Harry would. Harry has more of his father. And all the evidence shows Charles has strong sense of an inflated ego. All the way from coming out in interviews against his mother’s wishes to defend himself and Camilla, to what some would suggest is a big powergrab if you believe the tabloids.

Why would Catherine care who attended Charles’s coronation? She will have her own coronation to plan and decide. Yet these conflict pieces come out like it is meant to stir the drama back inside controllable walls.

A divorce rumor being leaked right at this time seems even more deliberate if you think about recent events, too.

This post is long, I know. Please hold out a bit more I am bringing it all together.

What if the bolt hole stories were leaked to make it look like Harry is a battered spouse trying to stay for the kids, but he has had enough of the manipulation and he is running. This whole bolt hole nonsense gives way to the next stage of the campaign. We’ve already had the kiss cam dodge, the rumors of separate lives, and now two bolt holes, Harry calling divorce lawyers, Meghan banging the body guard, and of course… that Harry wants to go back home. Then losing the security case after the car chase that was staged… oh yeah the car chase

That wasn’t that. What that was was an overexaggerated lie created to distract from something else. Con trick 101 class will teach you to put on a red rubber nose if it distracted the mark long enough to get the job done. What job are they distracting from? Where they were staying.

They didn’t want people seeing where they were staying. This is why the rumors have it that there were cancelations, even them begging for comps from hotels. Always hand open, never head down working!

How is it all related?

EVERTHING WITHIN THIS POST IS HYPOTHETICAL AND OPINION BTW

What if Charles never stopped supporting Harry because they always knew how it would end and they could use the optics to boost Charles’s and Camilla’s approval rating? Here’s how it was to go: Charles continues to secretly keep supporting Harry, even going so far as to go and flood media with pieces to save Harry’s face but drag MM. She figures it out by the time the Queen dies, and she stars separating. Charles gets his wish, as Harry is triggered by Meghan using paranoia to get Harry to trash the family openly. All the while, the plan was to have him do this up until after his book comes out. They’d need Harry and Charles to look so bad and hopeless for it to work.

Right when the whole world thinks Harry is gone forever, divorce rumors drop right around the time rumors about Catherine and Camilla beefing (which I suspect are planted fakes because why would Catherine care as she will have her own coronation). All of a sudden, a Hurting Harry Limps Back to King Chas is all over the news. Harry is back in the UK. Is it to file for divorce? There are no court cases active? Why is he home? Is the king sick? Is it the titles? All kinds of rumors will fly. You will see MM retaliation, too. That H was on drugs, abusive, etc. Whatever to make it extreme.

Finally, Camilla and Catherine work together to convince Wills and Charles to let Harry come back. She gets a ton of cash, the titles within limitation, and the “kids” are to be “kept tucked out of sight out of mind as much as possible”. Bet this was her bargaining chip at the coronation. Bet.

They are in containment mode people. They risk MM exposing Charles supporting them if the rumors are true. People would lose it if they knew Charles was still giving him money if the rumors are true (again HI, source!). But I could totally see the whole family being so cold hearted and ruthless at this point from all the drama that they would allow this divorce to play out as dirty as need be as long as Charles gets to claim the title of returing “Old Harry” back to his loving fans.

Gotta go. Sorry so long!

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tobiasdrake · 2 months

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We're on a mission to FIX THIS. With forty minutes to spare so this will not go smoothly.

Yuki. It's gotta be Yuki. Yuki's the one who ate Haruhi. Yuki's morally ambiguous enough to eat Haruhi. It would make sense for her mission if she ate Haruhi. She has the intelligence to pull off this weirdass alter-history-retroactively-but-in-a-way-that-doesn't-change-the-past-somehow scheme.

It has to be her.

That is definitely Yuki's silhouette.

I still have so many questions about what the hell Yuki did and why.

She's tired. She ate Haruhi because she's tired. Yeah. Okay. 15,000 time loops will do that to a person. I can believe that.

I still sympathize with her intentions moreso than the actual plan to put things back to normal. I know we're gonna. But. Like.

From a story writing and drama building perspective, the original world is better. But from a person-who-lives-in-this-world perspective, there's basically no reason to choose the original world.

The movie tries to sell us on it nonetheless, of course.

But to be honest, this feels tremendously unearned. It's the obligatory climactic conclusion to this one movie, but it's a lot like the forced kiss back in the world-cramping.

Kyon doesn't undergo character development over the course of the story; He just sometimes is a different character for the sake of the climax. If he was actually written as someone who enjoys all of Haruhi's bullshit and wants to live in her world then this would make sense.

Maybe it works better in the light novels, since I understand those are written from Kyon's perspective so we probably get a lot more of his innermost thoughts and feelings. But here in the anime, it's a lot like Future Mikuru's "No really I actually super enjoy being molested all the time HONEST!" bit. It feels like retroactive revisionism.

This was obviously where the story was going to end, and we knew this was going to be where the story ended, and they leaned on that to get out of actually writing an organic journey that would lead to this ending. It happens because it's what was always going to happen, and not because the character has ever been written like this. It's relying on familiarity with Manic Pixie Dream Girl genre conventions in place of writing a dynamic character.

It's also supremely self-centered to decide that we should have city-destroying horrors and Yuki should be miserable purely on the basis that Kyon was having fun, but that part is completely earned. It fits perfectly in with the same warped protagonist-centric morality that gave us Haruhi in the first place.

I can't buy Kyon abruptly deciding that actually he was enjoying all of this for the entire show and only pretended to be miserable all this time. But I can absolutely buy that the fate of this universe turns entirely on one person's selfish interests, made with zero regard for anybody else's safety or emotional wellbeing.

Oh holy shit THAT'S what "She's been born anew" meant!

Newfound Sentimentality Yuki wanted Ryoko back!? I love that. Obviously she wasn't intending for Ryoko to stab Kyon but the idea that she binged Ryoko back to life but forgot how fucked up Ryoko is? I get that.

Meanwhile Future Mikuru's hanging out offscreen watching this happen.

Useless as ever, Mikuru. Thanks. Could literally end this in a moment by picking up the Tetanus Shot off the ground and sniping Yuki with it while Ryoko's distracted. But sure. Deer in the headlights works too, I guess.

I don't know why they wrote Mikuru if they're never going to let her do anything.